#oh also having the one bi character cheat and the other one almost cheat is also kinda iffy tbh

[theoneandonlycowboyofthesea]

actually idc I’m fucking pissed about redlyn breaking up just so they could end up in same sex relationships as a bi person I LOVED seeing these two realize that they’re bi but they loved each other and were in a m/f relationship and they just immediately stripped that away again and it just leaves such a bad taste in my mouth

[stanlunter]

Bi erasure in the fandoms

There are many types of biphobia among people, but I wanna talk about the least noticable type of it, which is super common and barely gets called out. "Headcanoning" canon/implied bisexual characters (mostly female, for some reason) as lesbians.

Usually they don't even portay it as a "headcanon", but just state that they are and make everyone believe this. And when they done, people even start call you lesbophobic for calling bi erasure our, bc It's suddenly you're the one who "erase" lesbians. And the funny thing is that a lot of those who state so, haven't even watched these shows and just have "heard" that these characters are "lesbians" and the continue misinformate everyone else. And that's awful and very harmful for bi community

Let's take some examples

1. Asami and Korra

Both are bisexual women who were in love with the same man and then broke up with him and started dating each other. Prolly the most heavily implied bisexuals ever. But what do people have problems with? Oh, they think that if a bi girl has broken up with a man, it means only that she realized she's lesbian. Not that her ex was a cheater, not that their relationship was toxic. No, they can break up only bc she had a comphet. There are no other options. And if a girl dates another girl, she's also 100% lesbian, bc bi girls are just "straights who wanna invade lgbt", right? Oh, yeah, also Korra is strong and muscle "lesbian stereotype" and Asami is "cold and lady-like" "lesbian stereotype" so yeah, It's absolutely makes them lesbians! — another example of why the stereotypes are actually harmful.

2. Poison Ivy (both in the show and in the comics)

Absolutely the same thing as with Korra and Asami, but is also a "mean lesbian stereotype" which is basically the strongest stereotype, so yeah. Ivy dated Kite man and was actually attracted to him. She liked kissing me and enjoyed his company. The only thing that made her break up with Kite man is that he wasn't someone she saw her future with. He didn't fit her and she knew who did - Harley, her girlfriend. Even when Ivy knew she was attracted to Harley (bc she litterally cheated with her), she still knew she is attracted to Kite man and even so planned their wedding, but being attracted ≠ being soulmates, unfortunately. People also for some reason think that just bc Ivy hates men, it means she has to be lesbian. Ig they don't know there are bi or even straight girls who hate men. Like febfems (bi girls who refuse to date men for political reasons and their safety) don't exist. Like you can't be attracted to someone you hate.

And after all, Ivy dating Kite Man (and Dan Back) isn't even the main reason she's bisexual. Besides it, she was confirmed to be bisexual multipe times by many different authors. She's canon bi in almost every universe. And the way some new authors are trying to change her sexuality is a clearest bi erasure. And It's also funny, cuz if someone ever dared to turn a canon lesbian character into bisexual, everyone would immidiatly lose it. But when they do the same with bisexuals, It's suddenly being ignored. Wow.

3. Sasha Waybright

Thankfully the last time I don't see this so often (mb bc the fandom is dying tho), but just when everyone's favourite "mean lesbian" was confirmed to be bisexual, everyone went wild... Yeah, their favourite stereotype was broken. Does it mean they started to understand that stereotypes don't define sexuality and that even mean girls can like men? Ofc not! They obviously started to say that she was confirmed as bi bc: 1. Disney didn't want to let her be lesbian 2. Mate did it only to make the fandom mad

Lmao. They really gonna believe anything but that a character can just be...bisexual. And even so, they keep "headcanoning" her as lesbian. I've even heard people who were saying she had a "comphet" and will realize she's lesbian in the future. That's not even funny, but it does make me laugh

4. Princess Bubblegum

Oh, I love the way the whole tik tok fandom suddenly started to call Bubblegum "canon lesbian" just bc someone has said so and others have spread it up. Ig I should be thankful, that they at least recognize Marcelin being bisexual, huh?

Anyways, the thing is that Bubblegum, just as much as Marcelin was heavily implied to be bisexual. She litterally had an ex bf and for those who love calling every bi character with ex bfs lesbians with comphet, besides that Bubblegum was also in love with Finn in the episode when she turned 13. She litterally kissed him there and has said she wishes she could stay this way with him. It was directly shown throught the whole show that's the only reason why Finn's feelings are one sided is that Bubblegum is way older than him. And in the episode "Too young" it was directly confirmed. But people are still gonna call her lesbian just...bc? I don't even know why, she doesn't even fit stereotypes that much. Mb they decided to "ruin stereotypes" by it? Or mb they just decided that since6she rejected Finn (a litteral child) it means she can't be attracted to men at all? This logic is even worse. But God only knows what is in their heads

5. Yang Xiao long

Oh, yeah, this one is usually super objectionable bc she was showing interest in men basically only in v1 and then started dating Blake. And if Blake being bi was so clear that there are basically no people denying it or bc she fits bi stereotypes, who knows, however we should remember that bisexuals don't have to have equal attraction to everyone (like Blake, who had 2 male and 2 female love interests) and they don't have to date all genders to prove their attraction.

But there are many evidences of Yang being attracted to men too.

In the whole Yellow Trailer Yang actively flirts with a man

In ep3v1 she happily gazas on shirtless men and then, when Ruby says "father wouldn't approve it" she answers (I know, I fo) – which already would be enought to confirm her attraction to men

But in the same volume, when the team decorates their room, when Yang hangs a poster with a male band of the artists she's attracted too, it was shown that she liked men as well.

Yeah, I got that both the fandom and Roosters really love to forget everything that was in v1-2, but It's a fact that Yang is bisexual as well as Blake. But wait, she's a "strong lesbian stereotype", right!!! So let's ignore a bi representation, sure!

6. Sunset shimmer

Here's a girl, who canonically has dated a man and was officially confirmed to be bisexual by the author in Twitter. So why do people keep "headcanoning" her as lesbian? Oh, bc she's SUNSET and has flags of lesbian colors. Like "Sunset" was invented by lesbian flag, yeah. And what's the funniest thing in this perfect argument is that Sunset Shimmer was created even before the sunset lesbian flag designed!

And, yeah, I could take the "she has said that she didn't like Flash so it was a comphet/pretending" thing, but the problem is that it still litterally was confirmed by the author himself that Sunset is bisexual. And in the further show and even movie we can see clear signs of them still having a thing for each other. Like Sunset winks to him and many of their other interactions, but they can be read in a friends way as well ofc, which doesn't make her any less of canon bi!

7. Clawdeen Wolf

Her situation is exactly like Yang's. Since not so long time ago Clawdeen was confirmed to be lgbt and there was announced a comic about her and Toralei's romantic relationship, everyone started yelling that she's "canon lesbian" now. However it was only confirmed that she's wlw, not lesbian. And wlw includes these little unknown people called bisexuals.

But why do I say she's bi, but not lesbian? Well, bc it was clearly shown in the show and the movies that she's attracted to men. Yeah, she's a bit less obsessed with them than others and doesn't have a bf, however her feelings for many of them were obvious. And it was no where near a comphet. No, she was exactly attracted to them, that's a fact. So for now, she's a heavily implied bi character who had feelings for boys and who is dating a girl, just like Yang. And calling her lesbian is kinda biphobic

8. Kagami Tsurugi

A canon bisexual character, who's love to both Marinette and Adrian was confirmed in official synopsis for s5 and official show bible. She was shown to have a clearest attraction to Adrian and Felix, 2 men. Even if after she has broken up with Adrian (and no, not bc she realized she was lesbian, but bc he has fucking lied to her face and has broken up her heart) some people got an idea of her being a "lesbian with a comphet", this idea was destroyed again by her new attraction to Felix, another man.

However people are still gonna ignore her canon sexuality and call her a lesbian, by using "comphet" as a justification, or even by turning Felix and Adrian into transwomen, which isn't a justification to erase bi representation either anyways!

It's especially hurting since she's my favourite character I strongly relate to tho

9. Sayaka

Omg, Madoka Magica is an anime that includes girls who like girls. Almost all of the main characters are implied to be lesbians. But you know who's being headcanoned as a lesbian the most?? That's right! The only girl that likes boys too! What an irony, yeah? Sayaka has a huge romantic tension with Kyoka and has a canon crush on her male childhood friend – Kyosuke. So we can have the only bi rep out of 5 wlw girls. Ofc this rep was taken from us, bc some people wanna headcanon (or even impose it as canon) that the only bisexual girl is a lesbian with a comphet! Sure, yeah. Again, my favourite excuse for bi erasure, nothing's new, lol

10. Utena and Anthy

Another bisexual couple, who's coded sexuality is always getting erased. Uthena and Anthy love each other and even shared a kiss in one of the endings. The status of their relationship wasn't directly stated in anime, however everyone who has eyes can see their clear romantic and not only tension. Utena's another love interest is Touga, who was her childhood love who she was shown to have super clearest attraction throught the anime, and this attraction has no platonic explanation, so yeah, Utena ia attracted to both men and women and It's canon. The same goes for Anthy: she had strong feelings for Dios. Both characters are bi-coded and comphet was never there. People are just trying to use it as an excuse to bi erasure bc they want all wlw characters to be lesbians, that's all.

So, if someone is gonna say that I'm "denying comphet" or any other shit like that, no, I know it exists and I know a lot of lesbians go throught it and it deserves a representation too, but in such cases the difference between comphet and an actual attraction to men is so clear and you know that.

There are also examples of the characters who had or could have comphet:

Like Apple White, who thought she supposed to like Daring just bc he's "her destiny", but she never liked him (and even in her bio she says that just bc they have to marry, it doesn't mean they're dating) and her actual "true love", who's kiss made Apple wake up was Darling, his sister. And It's an actually good example of comphet bc of the society pressure. Or Yuzu (even tho for some reason some people still think she's bi) who was said to never be in love with anyone untill her step-sister, she even lied to her friends about having boyfriends bc she thought there was smth wrong with her since she isn't attracted to men. Also Velma and etc. Unfortunately there aren't that many examples, but even with these ones the difference between a lesbian with a comphet and a bisexual girl is obvious, so yeah, you just want an excuse to erase bisexuals and turn them into lesbians and it will never be okay

[technically-human]

Hi, I love your art and all of that, I've been stalking your page almost daily for over a month. You had some of the best content about our favourite ghost detectives with great characterisation (I would know I have read though everything on AO3 😭😭)

Quick question, what is your favourite headcannon about each character and why?

I love your style and adore your comics, could you do any crystal and Edwin being siblings in the future??? (With exasperated Charles?)

Wow, thank you!! I'm happy you're enjoying it so much :') exams are upon me but I'll be back to posting more regularly (and working on requests) soon!

Mmmh, there are some headcanons I hold so dear that I forget they're not actually in the source material.

For example, I like to think both Niko and Charles resent their own mothers, and feel guilty about it. I do plan on forcing them to bond over it. I also think these two are the only ones comfortable and accepting about their respective sexualities!

(Yes, I do think Charles knows and accepts he is bisexual. My reasons are:

The souls from Lust didn't try to grab him;

He didn't definitively reject Edwin, so that tells me he probably knows he would be capable of having a relationship with a boy;

I'm bi and I never had any conflict about it, and I'm here to project lol)

One important aspect of characters for me is that they have Bad Thoughts(tm). Not "I will murder everyone" kinda thoughts but just, moments in which they're selfish, they think unkind things, they consider doing morally dubious things. Characters who are 100% good and only think good thoughts are very plain to me.

I apply this to Crystal in particular. Just the idea that she thinks very bad things constantly, because a part of her is used to this. Edwin is probably the same, as being in Hell is not conductive to a very nice mind, I'd imagine.

Also, I like to think Crystal never kept her powers secret, but she did lie a lot. So she would tell her friends she could see the future and then just make up some stuff that would benefit her to influence their actions. Like, if she liked someone's boyfriend? oh, he's gonna cheat. Not a lot of people believed her, but it was enough.

For Edwin, I think he is the type who doesn't know when to stop talking, so a lot of the bullying he suffered was due to him arguing with the people who insulted him. His answers were very clever, but that never stopped anyone from hitting him, go figure.

Also, the organization of the books doesn't have a consistent system. Edwin changes it all the time and that's why Charles can't find anything. There's a specific shelf for Charles' stuff, he keeps some photoes he stole from his own house there, among other things. It's the only part Edwin will never reorganize.

And for the last question, I do have some plans for that! :)

[idk6123]

A Little Practice (Trent Northwick X Male Reader)

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?”

As Y/N walks in the almost empty music classroom, he spots his boyfriend, Trent, practicing his acting. With much passion and drama, the blonde actor is giving out his best Juliet impression.

“Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.” Trent ahem his voice as he switches character. “Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?”

“Thou art a arsehole, thy beloved.” Y/N says with a angelic voice, making Trent look back at him with a smirk.

“You were always the best at improv.”

“Still am.” Y/N walks over to Trent to give him a peck on the lips. “Practicing again?”

“Yes. The play is next week. I got a commercial to shoot this Saturday. Audition about two weeks. I’m thriving!” Trent proudly smiles, until he drops his façade. “But I’m also stressing the fuck out.”

“Figured. Thought you may need me.” Y/N reassuringly smiles. “We can hang out or I can help you practice.”

“Second one.” Trent walks over to a table to put down the Romeo and Juliet script down, grabbing another one in return. He walks back to give Y/N one of the script. “It’s the commercial. You’re person 2.”

Y/N hums and looks at the script. “America, a land of opportunity, dreams, and pride. When we got to the US, I expected everything to go perfect.” Y/N slows down his voice by the following lines, being extremely confused. “Turns out illegally crossing the border brings problems. My wife is going to be a whore if we don’t enough money.”

“No need to worry!” Trent says with a chivalrous voice, not bothered by the unusual script. “We at Blackshark reassures anyone to live a happy life with their family. No matter the background, we like to give anyone the opportunity to blossom. Don’t worry about paying your loans. Spend it to whatever you desire, and we promise you, at the end of the day, you will prosper.”

“Wow! Now I don’t have to sell my organs. Thanks Blackshark.”

Y/N looks up to see Trent smirking proudly. “I nailed it. You on the other hand.”

“The fuck is this script?” Y/N merely blurts out. “And your commercial is about loan sharks?”

“It sure is.”

Y/N wonders that his boyfriend know the possible consequences. “Isn’t this bad for your brand? Being revolved with scammers?”

“Look, if Paris Hilton is allowed to get in drama without issue, so am I.”

-

Minutes later, and Trent decides he had practice enough with his scripts. After convincing Y/N to do something else, they change into more flexible clothes.

“You know everyone is going to bully you if they discover you can do ballet.”

“Ballet is the core of dancing. It comes back in many other genres. Also, it’s good for the body. So if anyone is going to harass me, I remember their name and call them out once I’m rich and famous.” Trent says without a doubt.

“Don’t you mean we?”

“Depends. I don’t want to associate with lower class people.” Trent respond without remorse. He and his boyfriend begin sitting on the ground and do some stretching. “I suggest working on that football dream, buddy.”

“It’s not my fault Ted keeps hogging the quarterback spot.” Y/N groans. “I hope after all the bootlicking he gives the spot after he graduate.”

“You need to do better. Have you tried sleeping with him?”

Y/N deadpanned at his boyfriend. “You want me to cheat on a straight guy?”

“If it makes you famous like I’m going to be.” Trent merely replies. “Besides, I’m sure he swings both ways.”

“According to who?”

“My gaydar.”

Y/N sighs. “I think yours broken.”

“Na-ah. 100% accurate. You, gay. Gord, Kirby, Cornelius, Vance, definitely bi. Troy, gay. Ted, bi as fuck, he just doesn’t know it.”

“Look, just because you’re right the previous ones doesn’t mean you’re always right.” Y/N corrects him. “Wait, aren’t we supposed to do ballet?”

“Oh, yeah.” Trent forgot. He and Y/N stands up. “Let’s begin with some poses, relevé.”

“Rele-what?”

“Relevé.” With elegance, Trent jumps up a bit and with his tips of his toes, stands on the ground. With his hands, he lifts them up and make a circle out of them. “Voilá.”

Y/N is amazed by the sight, especially the ridiculous strength his toes has to balance him. “Since when do you know all this shit?”

“Since I was young. Practice makes perfect.” Trent comments. He stops posing and expectedly looks back at his boyfriend. “Now you.”

“You expect me to stand on my toes?” Y/N barely have any experience with ballet. The only experience he has is when Trent tries to flex his skills and try to compare his with his boyfriend.

“I help, since apparently you can’t do it on your own.” Trent playfully mutters the last part. He gets behind Y/N to put his hands besides his body. “You pose, I balance you.”

Y/N can’t help but smirk. “Fine.”

Thus, he put his arms up and stand on his toes, which took a couple of seconds. Luckily, after trying a couple of times and with the help of the actor, Y/N is standing in the pose. Though he gives up after almost 3 seconds.

“There. That was annoying.” Y/N chuckles.

“Good, for your first time.” Trent unnecessary comments. “Now we have 25 left to go.”

“By the love of-”

-

After a lot of practice, Y/N somehow did most of the poses Trent requested. They already practiced Trent’s scripts and ballet training, Y/N wonders what’s up next.

“Please tell me we actually do something normal.”

“You’re saying this isn’t normal?” Trent questions, but he quickly dismisses the jock’s comment. “Anyway, let’s do the last exercise.”

“And that is?”

“Improv.” Trent says with a smirk. “Since you’re good at it, have fun thinking about your first line.”

“Uh!?” Y/N quickly panics as he thinks for something to say. “Nice weather, huh?”

Trent raises his eyebrow, judging his boyfriend. “That’s what you came up with?”

“Shut it. You’re breaking character.”

Trent chuckles. “No, it’s raining you dumbass. Can’t you see through the window.”

“Oh no, what an idiot I am. Sorry, must have the moron decease I got from my boyfriend.”

“Sounds like you’re the only one suffering from it though.”

“Nah. I’m certain he got it too.” Y/N decides to play alone just to shove it on Trent’s face. “He makes me do all these dumb acting exercises instead of taking me out on a date or something actually normal people do.”

“Huh. Sounds more like you don’t care about your boyfriend’s passions and dreams.” Trent plays along as well, with both men smiling.

“Yeah, you can say that again. I really don’t care.”

Trent laughs at the respond. “Alright, alright. That’s enough. You did good.”

“Thanks. I was only kidding about the insults. I actually like you’re over confident attitude.”

“I know you do.” Trent proves the footballer right. “So, now that we’re done and I’m entertained, you want to go out?”

[okay-j-hannah]

Hii hannah!! It's me, the mysterious anon and I'm officially done with not just my exams but highschool! I got my results back few days ago and im surprised i almost got all As because during the last three exams I was literally reading will turner and lotr fanfictions more than my textbooks lmao 😭

And can I just say you're so so sweet and ilysm !!! tysm for accepting my request, can't wait to see how you are gonna write them! although, do remember to write it with your own pace, you don't have to feel obligated to finish it and post it asap (and this goes to all the requests you've gotten) we know you're a human being too with your own things in your daily life and ofc we acknowledge and respect that, that's the least we can do when you actually take time out of your life and accept to write our requests <333

I know I said it in the last ask I sent you but thank you so so much for accidently introducing me to will turner, remember how I fell down the rabbit hole? it seems i am still falling, but now in another rabbit hole named lord of the rings; yes I joined the lotr fandom! i was lookin for more orlando bloom movies and found out he played legolas and I started the series just for him lol,, really though the lotr universe is so beautiful!! ive always loved fantasy universes but was too lazy to actually start something classic like lotr but now that i've done it im feeling the hyperfixation literally running through my veins!! I ordered silmarillion and im like this close to ordering all the books in Tolkien legendarium even though im nearly broke lmao. and my bi ass is in love with everyone, especially the elves, came just for legolas but staying for all the tolkien elves and faramir, eowyn, sam and aragorn 😭 really though, I have barely read silmarillion yet i am in love with elves like ecthelion and glorfindel too 😭

i can't wait read more of your lotr work, so far, I've only read haldir fic (it was so cute!) and hobbit/doctor who one and im in love with that one!! i spend so much of my time thinking what if I were to accidently end up in my current hyperfixation universe. will I survive actually? Will I even be able to make eye contact with my comfort characters, or speak to them? unless somehow I get some kind of superpowers or immortality, i would likely die in the first fifteen minutes for sure haha. can't wait to read the second part of that story and how doctor fits into the story! Also mgime trope is actually so fun to read! after this one, I went to ao3 for more and im so in love with this trope im thinking about writing one myself! 

Just realising, It's funny thing, joining new fandom tbh ; i remember scrolling through your page in March and i had no idea who any of the lotr characters or potc characters were but now im in love with the lotr&potc universe and its all i can think about. do you mind, if i ask you how do you balance fandoms thing? you're in so many fandoms and i always wonder how you love them/give them time equally even after having so many other fandoms. in recent years I've joined many fandoms but every time I join a new one, i start loving the new one so much i  completely stop even thinking bout the old one. and it's incredibly silly i know but I feel like I'm betraying/cheating my old fandom and my comfort characters in a way by hyperfixating on whatever my current fandom is. 

Speaking of hyperfixations, also so so excited for David tennant in the 60th specials!! And donna n wilf!! I too will have to finish 13's episodes before November though. btw did you see the bts pictures of 15 and the new companion Ruby? It seems like we're gonna get good history episodes with the new doctor !! 

Oh also!! It's been officially a year since I started reading your fics! And today 29 May actually marks the day(technically night ig) I read the last parts of dying girl series. I still remember that day, I had finished watching stranger things' then new episodes, I was already crying because of The max and vecna episode and I decided to torture myself more by reading the series and cried more lmao.

Ahh cant believe its been a year, i remember being anxious to send you my request and all those asks and now I am actually talking to you! I am so glad I decided to check out your blog last May, one of the best decision ive made! If it werent for you, i probably would've never further watched doctor who, or started potc and lotr/hobbit series and just Tolkien's work tbh. Ik I've said it a lot of times but really though, thank you so much for introducing me to all these movies, shows, books and ofc, your writing. I've loved every single second I've spent on your blog and while watching these tv and movie series, idk how to exactly word this because english isn't my first language, but the time spent on your blog and while watching the shows/movies really is best time I've spent in my boring life, I've felt more alive doing that than I actually had while living my "life". 

Oh and I'm glad you had fun writing my domestic fic request! I would also love to read about the reader and doctors' in between adventures, hope you write about it and honestly, I'd love to read whatever you write, even if it isn't full fics, just random stuff like headcanons or draft ideas you had! And I would request bout it but I've already requested two fics and honestly, my brain feels too disconnected from the fic to give you ideas kinda stuff for the fic. I guess, its time to reread the series ; I hope I can get through it this time without crying though 😭

I still haven't finished watching all the potc movies, only two or three because I got into lotr, but more will turner content from you? So excited!! And yeah It is surprising that I haven't watched the movies because they are classic! but they actually came out before I was born/when I was really young so I didn't get to watch them at that time, plus movies, especially from outside my country weren't as accessible so my brain focused on what I had, the barbie and disney movies and tv cartoons.

Sometimes I honestly can't believe that all the movies/TV series I'm hyperfixating over came out so long ago and that I am watching and obsessing over them after like 15-20 years, that really is a lot of time! but tbh, I feel like this is how it was meant to be, yknow? I was meant to love these movies and characters rn, because maybe I needed them now more than I did back then. And as I said, I was barely a kid and didn't even speak English language, even if I did get to watch all the movies I don't think I'd even understand them lol. 

Oh and I too love the pen pal things we have going, it's fun, isn't it? Really sorry for replying months late though, i wanted to write earlier but I have executive dysfunction so it's really hard to do even the simplest of things😭 next time i'll try not to be months late lol.

I just realised I wrote a lot lol, Thank you for reading the whole rambling, I hope the whole thing doesn't seem too diorganised to read . And yeah, Bye! hope you have good day/night or whatever time of the day you're reading this at<333

Hello mysterious anon!

I think our trend will now be just randomly replying to each other every few months because 100% we both have busy lives.

I feel weirdly proud to have instigated some of your new fandom hyperfixations, I am so obsessed with too many. It is really hard to spread all my love/attention to so many.

I think I look at it like phases. I will always return to my old loves, but depending on my mood or phase in life I'm drawn to a certain fandom. I started rewatching Criminal Minds a while ago and got so reinvested in the show that I started writing a series with Spencer Reid {it's like 21k words right now and I haven't decided if I'm posting it or not}

And I started watching The Crown, so I've fully entered another time period phase and I want to watch all things Jane Austen. I read Sense and Sensibility recently because of it. I think I'm going to watch Little House on the Prairie for the time period drama. I might watch Poldark or Outlander or Vikings for the same reason.

I agree it's hard to move on to another fandom when you feel you're neglecting the others. I try to refresh my brain of my old favorites, like I remember the day I mixed up Death Eaters and Dementors and I felt so ashamed that I reread the whole Harry Potter series just to remind myself.

I guess I just do my best to acknowledge all of them and then be patient when I'm fixating on only one in particular. I find a balance when I'm writing fics about them because I'll rewatch something so I can get a feel for the characters before I write about them. But sometimes it is hard to write a request for a character that I am not currently obsessed with.

I'm glad you passed your classes and are hopefully moving on to bigger and better things {I know you are fandom wise}. I haven't been writing much the last year, but I do still check my activity frequently. We'll see what and when I'll decide to post next.

But for now, I wish you luck in life and hopefully the comfort you'll get from your new potc and lotr friends will get you through some of the tough times.

💜 Hannah

[bookie-the-reading-junkie]

Review of Lightlark, once of the worst books I've ever read

@wutheringmights made a post about how bad a book this was, I decided to take a crack at it and it made me have Thoughts. I hope you enjoy about 10k of word vomit

I said it would take about a week lol, finals kicked my ass and it took me a hot second to finish it up.

@wanderinginkspots here's a hot mess of a review of a book you've never read, hope you enjoy <3

Intro

Alright *cracks knuckles* let’s get into it. 

Lightlark is the first book of the Lightlark series (which currently has two books, but you couldn’t make me read the second at gunpoint) written by Alex Aster, a rising author who found her popularity from Tiktok. Even before the book was released, it had a movie deal with the same studio that did Twilight. For anyone that even marginally enjoyed this book, I hope that the movie is better to give them something decent, which is not something that I thought I would say. Because this book is awful. 

Oh, the premise is interesting, if nothing too out of the box. It was often described as a mix of ACOTAR and Hunger Games and you can definitely see that in the blurb for the book:

Welcome to the Centennial. Every 100 years, the island of Lightlark appears to host the Centennial, a deadly game that only the rulers of six realms are invited to play. The invitation is a summons—a call to embrace victory and ruin, baubles and blood. The Centennial offers the six rulers one final chance to break the curses that have plagued their realms for centuries. Each ruler has something to hide. Each realm’s curse is uniquely wicked. To destroy the curses, one ruler must die. Isla Crown is the young ruler of Wildling—a realm of temptresses cursed to kill anyone they fall in love with. They are feared and despised, and are counting on Isla to end their suffering by succeeding at the Centennial. To survive, Isla must lie, cheat, and betray…even as love complicates everything.

The thing is: there is no deadly game. Plenty of baubles, not a lot of blood. I don’t recall Isla (the MC) ever cheating or betraying, though that happens to her plenty of times. The way that the book was pitched in general is pretty inaccurate to what it actually is. We get the impression that the island Lightlark is abandoned and exists purely for the Centennial. We get the impression that it’s a nonstop battle against each other to protect their realms. It makes it out as if Wildlings are the enemies of the rest of the realms. It was also marketed as being very diverse. This is all false. 

(There was also a whole thing about her overinflating the amount of smut there was and some lines that she posted on tiktok never made it into the actual book, but I don’t really care about this as much because 1. YA should not have much smut and 2. I didn’t have the same investment as the people following her did, but essentially lying to your audience of what’s going to happen in your book so you can get more people to read it is a pretty crappy thing to do.) 

Lightlark is inhabited by quite a few people from different realms and is ruled by the Sunling King Oro. It is a weirdly whimsical place for a book that is meant to have a little grit in it. There is almost zero fighting. The entire process of how the Centennial works is baffling and pointless. They can’t even try to kill each other until the halfway point. Wildlings are kind of seen as outcasts, but not in the same way that Nightshades are, and I never got the impression that they were despised. There is one black character and he barely appears despite being part of the main cast. There are two queer characters, the previous character who is gay, and a bitchy bi woman who also rarely appears. Neither of them reveal this to the MC, she is told by a completely different person. Isla and the Wildlings are supposedly inspired by the author’s Latina heritage (she is Columbian), but I would have never picked up on that unless it hadn’t been pointed out by someone else, who points out that the Wildlings are just Latina stereotypes. Wild temptresses who eat men’s hearts. That’s. . . basically all we know about them. And they can make things grow. 

I’ll give you a short rundown so you don’t get too confused. 

Wildlings–Ruler: Isla (have nature powers, with the double curse of killing the people they love and needing to eat heart at least once a month)

Sunlings–Ruler: Oro (control fire, curse is to never go out in the sun or they’ll die)

Starlings–Ruler: Celeste (harness star energy and have telekinesis, and all die at 25)

Skylings–Ruler: Azul (control weather and wind, can no longer fly)

Moonlings–Ruler: Cleo (control water and can heal, every full moon the sea tries to kill them)

Nightshade–Ruler: Grim (can turn invisible, read emotions, shadow-wielding, spinning curses, and mind control; they will die if they go outside at night)

You might be able to tell which one is the main love interest just by looking at the powers. Also, you may ask why literally all of them end in -ling except for Nightshade. Or why all of them are celestial-related except for Wildlings (as someone much smarter than I pointed out). I couldn’t tell you. Each person can live to centuries and I have no clue how age affects them, because they all look like they are in their twenties. By the way, both of the love interests are over five hundred years old and Isla is described to be not quite twenty. Lovely. 

The whole purpose of the Centennial is that there was a prophecy five hundred years beforehand that said to break the curses, and one of the rulers has to die. Unfortunately, this will kill their entire realm as well. Oh well, what can you do. The “””””deadly game””””” goes on for 100 days. The first 25 days they do demonstrations to show off their strength and powers, and whoever wins the most picks out pairs who search for clues for what might have caused the curse. At the 50 day point, they are allowed to try to kill each other starting at a big ball, but you can’t kill your partner. At the 75 day point, there’s a carnival that’s mandatory for some reason. 

The basic story: Isla is told by her guardians that she has to seduce King Oro in order to share his powers (because if you are in love with someone, you share powers. yeah) to bring the Wildlings prosperity or something and she decides to do that because she wants to win her own way? I think? She and Celeste met when Isla was dinking around the deus ex machina object that is the starstick, and are best friends, so close they are almost sisters. They decide to find the bondbreaker, a magic object that does exactly what it sounds like, in order to not have to kill anyone. They go to Lightlark, trials happen, and instead of the two getting paired up, Isla gets paired with Oro and they start looking for the Heart of Lightlark, which they eventually find. Somehow, the bondbreaker is found and then everything goes to shit.

This entire book feels aimless and pointless, and nothing happens really until the last few chapters. At one point, all the random little events that happened started to feel like an endless series of side quests in a video game, except nothing came out of most of them. They felt entirely contrived and inane. Most of the book (including plot points and worldbuilding) felt like it was made up along the way. This was a note I had made to myself while reading this around a third into it:

I feel no stakes. It feels like an elongated fancy party with magic. 

I stand by that. Aster keeps telling you that this is a deadly game, that everyone is in danger, but it never shows. I’m trying to think back to what happened that was deadly that involved the game directly and I’m coming up with a single duel, a swimming contest in freezing cold, and…..uh…..nothing memorable. Nothing about this book is memorable except that it’s bad. 

There are so many twists in the last couple of chapters that no one can keep up. I couldn’t even figure out how people were appearing there. Honestly, a couple of them would have been fine, but there was zero foreshadowing. I’ll get into that later. This book brings up so many questions and not in a good way, like theorizing what’s going to happen. Most of them poke holes into the worldbuilding and plot. Such as, are they human? 

I genuinely do not know. Humans are mentioned (usually when bringing up that Wildlings eat human hearts) but it never indicates that the different people are human or something else. I mean, considering they have powers and live centuries, I would assume they aren’t. But it also doesn’t give a ton of solid evidence to say that they are something else.

Another question: one of the editorial reviews claims that it is a “fast-paced” fantasy:

“Alex Aster's Lightlark is an ebullient, fast-paced fantasy, with a beautifully rendered world that seethes with intrigue, romance and tension. I couldn't turn the pages fast enough.” ―Sabaa Tahir, #1 New York Times bestselling author of An Ember in the Ashes

I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough either, but that’s because I wanted to get it over with. I am genuinely confused by how anyone would consider this fast paced.

Characters

Her characters are boring. A 20+ page paper about India’s constitution I had to read for class is more interesting than her characters. At least there was growth there. There are six people in the main cast, and I think four that are mentioned/shown more than like twice. That’s—actually what the shit. That is a very manageable cast to give each person depth, especially in a book about 400 pages long. How the fuck did she manage to drop the ball on that. 

We have Isla, the badass FMC who wear approximately 30 knives on her at all times despite her utter lack of pockets (she hides the starstick along her spine all the time. Don’t ask me how), but doesn’t have any powers, which she develops a neurosis about sometime around halfway through. We have Grim, the creepy Nightshade ruler who is literally just an overpowered emo stalker who made Isla forget they were lovers before the Centennial started for a convoluted plan that made no sense, yet spent the entire time trying to seduce her. Next, King Oro, the Sunling ruler who is in charge of Lightlark, dying, and an ~Origin~ (which got explained 35% into the book in the blandest manner possible). Azul, ruler of the Skylings and the sad gay who is the only POC, who very rarely appears, which is unfortunate as he is one of the few characters I could stand. Cleo, the bitchy Moonling ruler who is just sort of there. Finally for the main cast, we have Celeste the young starling ruler who is sweet as pie, and Isla’s best friend, yet only appears when need be (turns out she has a dark secret…). For the minor characters, we have Isla’s guardians Poppy and Terra, an information broker (juniper?), and a starling maid that helps out Isla every once in a while for convenience’s sake. 

Isla

Honestly, I felt like Isla had some potential, but was a boring, overpowered Mary Sue. She’s a fairly basic character, but her abusive childhood training gave her a cool edge, if at times very unrealistic. She had a shit ton of weapons that were disguised as jewelry, which to be fair is pretty cool, but would have been cooler if she had used them more than mentioning them. It's brought up so many times it becomes overused. They aren’t even that effective (or realistic, but suspend the disbelief so we can crawl to the end of this a little faster). 

However, she never felt like a hardened warrior, despite being told that many times. There’s a lot of telling in this book without a lot of substance. Not to mention that she was so startled on the first night that she fell off a balcony and would have died if Oro hadn’t saved her through ooga-booga magic. Sometime later, she climbs up a cliff and when she slips, she uses a knife to slow her fall by digging into the rock, and then finishes the climb. She is also able to defeat two centuries-old beings that are literal war generals in single combat. There is very little consistency with this character. Like I said before, about halfway she becomes super focused on the fact she has no powers. In the first bit, she acknowledges it and knows that it will hinder her, but doesn’t let it stop her. At some point, she starts to constantly talk about how “powerless” she is. It got to the point that I made this note:

I’m tired of this girl being like “I’m not helpless” and also “wahhh I have no powers I’m gonna die and need protection but I hate the idea of being protected”

Another one of my biggest gripes with this character is that she’s not like other gir—I mean Wildlings. Wildlings are constantly described as wild temptresses, beasts that wear skimpy clothing or nothing at all, and have no qualms about eating human hearts. Isla, however, doesn’t eat hearts, prefers modest clothing and has never had sex (...well, not that she remembers). Look, I get it. I have no interest in sexual or romantic exploits as I am aroace, and personally prefer more modest clothes. But we are given no reason as to why she is different. “I’m not comfortable wearing/doing that” is all it took, but nope, no explanation. She’s just not like other girls. I wouldn’t say that there’s slut-shaming in this book, per se, but it’s certainly not meant to be positive in any way. So many times throughout the book she would be described wearing basically leaves covering her boobs (an actual outfit she wore for a ball, which she had brought with her) and she would be like “well, at least this cape had a semblance of modesty.” She grew up with people wearing similar things or walking around naked. Why is she so against immodesty? Why does she even consider it immodest, you’d think that growing up with as a Wildling her idea of immodesty would be completely different from the other realms (now that I would have been interested in; culture clash).

Along the same lines is her aversion to eating hearts. Because she’s special, she has no powers (actually she does, but i’ll explain later) and therefore the curses don’t apply to her, so she doesn’t actually have to eat hearts. However, you would think that she would have eaten them when she was young before her guardians realized that the curse didn’t affect her. Wildlings only need to eat a heart once—or for unknown reasons twice—a month to sustain themselves. This brings up many questions (how do they feed their young? How is that sustainable in any manner? What did they used to eat beforehand? Do people regularly eat other foods even though they don’t need to?) but for the sake of my brain cells and this mounting word count, I will choose to suspend my disbelief. 

Anyway, if it’s normalized and she had likely been doing it for years (for pretenses at the very least), why is she so against it? Is it cannibalism? That’s the main reason that people not being confirmed as human or not bugs me. If they are human, that explains why she’s adverse to it, even though it’s never said in text that it is cannibalism. If not, I don’t get it. 

Earlier I mentioned that she’s not actually powerless. Turns out that her father was a Nightshade general (who Grim knew well, so that doesn’t make it weird at all) who fell in love with her mother, the Wildling ruler. Somehow, she resisted the curse to kill the person you love long enough to give birth to Isla, and then they killed each other. Or so she was told. What actually happened is that Isla’s guardians were in cahoots with the big bad and killed them. I still don’t understand how Isla’s mother resisted killing her father, but there are way more pressing things to discuss. Being half-and-half, Isla has powers from both but her Nightshade powers suppressed the curses and her Wildlings powers because Nightshade powers can create curses. Confused? Same. It makes sense I guess, but so much of the worldbuilding and explanations in the book feel like this: made up on the spot. She can’t actually use her powers, but that’s for book two. 

I just realized that there would have been a couple hundred age gap between Isla’s mother and father. This book is just so great. 

Aster tries to make it seem like she grows as a character, but she doesn’t really. This excerpt—

Now, so much had changed. She wasn’t the same person who had arrived on the island two months prior.  Before, she had never even spoken to a man unsupervised for more than a few minutes. Now, one had touched her up and down her body.  Before she thought she would cower before the rulers. Now, she had beaten them in the trials. Threatened them. She had even saved the king.  Before, she believed it was wrong to want anything other than to break her and her realm’s curses. Now, she wanted everything.

—obviously intends to show how she’s changed and gotten stronger. I just love that out of the three things that Aster uses to show that she’s grown as a person, one of them is “a guy touched me.” I do kind of like the idea of her wanting more, to break out the idea that the only thing that she should want is to help her realm and nothing else, especially when her desires do come up another time:

Power. Isla had wanted it more and more. The power promised was prophesied to be endless. The things she could do— No.  Isla hadn’t ever handled even a drop of power. What would she do with a sea of it? Especially since the prince was revealing her secret.  Isla shook her head.  [Note: Some maturity. Interesting]

Unfortunately, this was not expanded on as much as it should have been. She was raised to be a weapon, a tool. But the narrative doesn’t treat it that way and that was a huge missed opportunity. 

Grimshaw

The dark emo brooding character who has *gasp* feelings deep, deep, down. Such a new and original character design. Granted it’s a tried and true character and no matter what, you’ll always find fangirls swooning over characters like him. But this dude is straight up creepy and despite the text trying to make him sexy and cool, he gives me the ick. Examples!

“That would have been inconvenient.” the Nightshade ruler grinned, revealing a single dimple, completely out of place in his cruelly cut face. “Call me Grim, Isla.” [Note: *shudders* bad vibes] Grim took a step toward her. Took her hand into his with such brazen possession that she nearly took it back. “To dance with you, of course.” [note: he’s literally written to be possessive wtf] His dark eyes seemed to get even darker as they met hers, and he said, “I’m not sure what I enjoy more. Seeing the way you grip a sword. . . nor the way that dress grips you.” [Note: this made me shudder in disgust] A chuckle. Eyes still closed, she felt something against her lips. “Open.” She did, and Grim dropped another truffle against her tongue. This one had a berry cream filling. A hard outer shell.  [Note: This makes me soooo uncomfortable.]

This man gives me the creeps. Since I was spoiled that he knew Isla beforehand, I understood some of the things he said that would have otherwise been puzzling. But that didn’t make him less creepy, in a way, it made him more creepy. Isla and Grim had met about a year before the Centennial and had a spicy romance. Reminder that he is over 500 years old and she was 18 at the oldest at this time and that he knew her dad as a fellow war general. Because of a convoluted plan, he made her forget their time together so that she could fall in love with Oro in order to gain his powers. Yet he spends the entirety of the Centennial trying to seduce her. He starts pushing memories of them being together (and having sex) into her mind when she dreams, because that’s a normal and attractive thing to do. 

I’m kind of baffled at how he’s supposed to be a cool, sexy character you’re supposed to swoon over. Because the way he is described is literally possessive and creepy. I doubt that was the intention of the author, but it reads like that. Not to mention he is made out to be the more genuine of the two love interests.He’s clearly meant to be the endgame love interest, so even when he screws up, it feels like we’re supposed to be rooting for him. Isla literally calls him genuine at one point after Oro betrayed her trust (for yet another plot convoluted reason), and I made this note:

Okay why is Mr creepio the genuine one and the dude that wasn’t creepy the betrayer

One thing that really bugged me was that Grim is just sort of there. He gives Isla a necklace (with a diamond once described as “large as a small potato”) that she can summon him with when she touches it. He has a Flair, a special extra completely random power that some people have, which allows him to teleport. Which is very convenient and makes him even more overpowered. And then he just becomes transportation. After they become closer, he just appears for convenience’s sake and for one spicy scene. 

Grim is just. So. special. In so many ways. I felt like every time he might be a semblance of getting over his creepiness he just added on to it. 

Oro

The Sunling King who is an Origin and has a Flair which is “lie detector”. This love triangle is literally “Boring pale caucasian and boring tan caucasian”, pale and dark hair vs tan and blond, who will win? By the way, his name means “gold”. What is it with the love interests having dumb names? He’s very aloft and called “insufferable” more times than I care to count. 

I don’t know if it’s just me, but this character felt so bland. I can’t remember a thing about him. I literally can’t talk about anything about him that isn’t about him being involved in the love triangle. I will say that I liked Oro like 0.0001% better as a love interest because he’s 1. Not creepy and 2. The river scene where he gets healed is probably one of the only scenes that I got any sort of enjoyment from. I don’t understand why Isla is in any way attracted to him as he’s done literally nothing. Except for maybe the basic human decency of ripping out giant barbs that are deeply embedded into her back that she wouldn’t realistically be able to reach. 

I think that Oro is the only Origin alive in the series and it brings up so many questions. It’s a person who is a mix of Sunling, Skyling, Moonlight, and Starling, and has the powers of each of them. I assume you have to be a perfect mix of each in order to have the right genes to be an Origin, which begs the question: why is he only referred to as Sunling? I mean, he off-handley mentions that he could partake in cultural aspects of other realms (read: can wear colors other than gold) and uses his other powers like twice. I feel like that could add a lot of depth to his character—being a mixture of different realms and cultures—though this book isn’t one for nuance so it’s not a big surprise that isn’t delved into. 

One of the plot twists was that Oro was in love with Isla. Yeah I could really sense all the hopeless pining when he stared at her blankly like she was a bug on the bottom of his shoe. I get his character is to be the aloft and cold guy who slowly learns to love or whatever, but it’s not done well. All in all, just a very bland character.

Azul

A gay man who is the only POC, who is jovial. That’s about it. I liked him, but he needed more characterization and screen time. I mean, every character feels pretty one dimensional, but still. 

I would like to point out that this is the very first description of this person. Make it as you will:

A pale-blue cloak cracked with wind before settling against bare, very dark shoulders and muscled arms. The man had eyebrows larger than his eyes, a sculpted chin, and perfectly coiffed stubble that framed his pink mouth. Azul, ruler of Skyling.  [note: Very dark shoulders…eyebrows larger than his eyes….]

Cleo

There to be evil and make an even balance of men and women. She’s supposedly building an army, but after a point, it becomes irrelevant. She’s also bi and a bitch. Once again, Isla was not told this by either of these characters, she was told by Oro. 

There’s a whole subplotish thing going on through most of the book where everyone is convinced that Cleo is the main villain that never comes to fruition and gets completely dropped at the end. Like, she admits to building an armada and if I remember correctly, she’s alluded to building an army. Which is promptly forgotten about. Maybe it will show up again in book two. I don’t care to find out. 

Celeste

Celeste is meant to be kind of a sweet character who is Isla’s best friend and that’s pretty much it. There’s nothing to her before the plot twist where it turns out she was in disguise and using Isla since they met. Then she gets elevated to the complex character type of “scorned female lover who’s now evil because her boyfriend cheated.” My favorite type of character. 

Relationships 

Nobody has chemistry with anybody. This isn’t just about the love triangle, this is also about friendships and other types of relationships. All of them feel flat. None of the characters have any real chemistry with each other. 

Celeste and Isla are described to be so close they’re practically sisters, but it’s never shown. They meet up a few times but all they ever talk about is the bondbreaker. They just have nothing going for them as a friendship. I’m also disappointed because Celeste backstabs her later and there was zero foreshadowing. Mind you, this was a years-long premeditated thing. I will say that this:

The greatest betrayal was not Grim’s. Not Terra and Poppy’s.  It was Celeste’s. She had pretended to be her friend. Her sister.  Isla had been alone. And Celeste had preyed upon her loneliness.  Still, even after everything, a treacherous corner of her heart still loved her friend. 

This is the good shit. Unfortunate that it wasn’t really added on to, so that lessens the impact. That’s also something that bugs me a bit about Isla is that she gets taken advantage of constantly throughout the book, but it’s not really addressed? Terra and Poppy, Grim, Oro, Celeste. Hell, every time she talks about her childhood, it’s literally about her guardians putting her through abuse to “get stronger” but it’s not depicted as abuse. It’s just…I don’t like it. There’s a difference between writing in the perspective of a character that doesn’t realize they’ve been abused while making it clear that it is abuse, and writing a character who went through abuse and not addressing it as such. 

Moving onto the love triangle! I’m going to be very clear here, I hate love triangles with a burning passion because of the whole wishy-washy “oh, I love this one, but I also love this one, who do I pick?” 

But there were no conflicting feelings about Oro or Grim, at least not very many. And that is strange. Like, when she and Grim started getting handsy and later she’s with Oro and being gooey with him, she has no thoughts of Grim. it’s like the other dude doesn’t exist when she’s with the other one. I feel like this should be freshing, but I’m just confused. At the end of the book, she’s with Oro and they’re both confused at how that happened. Which is a bizarre way to end the book? The main couple being confused as to how/why they like each other? Not even for complex reasons like you might have for an enemies to lovers story, they are just at a loss at how they like each other. 

Everything about this book feels flat and that shows very clearly in the relationships. 

Writing

The writing itself isn’t completely terrible, despite a lot of people shitting on it. There are some good lines. But the description never ends to paint a pretty fantasy world, yet is completely void in some areas. Here is the first paragraph of the first chapter (there is a prologue, but I don’t even remember what happens in there):

Isla Crown often fell through puddles of stars and into faraway places. Always without permission—and seemingly on the worst occasions. Even after five years, portaling still made her bones groan. She held her starstick tightly, her breath bottled in her chest like the rare perfumes on her vanity, the glass room spinning and fractured colors bleeding together, until gravity finally pinned her down like a loose thread in the universe. 

It’s not completely awful, but it just keeps going, and some things are contradicted not long later.  

Though “gravity finally pinned her down like a loose thread in the universe” is such a great line to be wasted on this book. But as soon as I started the first chapter, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. Part of it is that I just can’t stand over saturated purple prose for simple description. I enjoy it for symbolism, for emotions, to really stab into your gut a character’s desperation, obsession, or internal agony. Part of it is that it never ends and is only used for settings and clothing. It’s overly flowery. 

Some examples of truly awful lines, along with my notes:

A man towered over her. His teeth were sharp as blades—cut into weapons. Tools to eat with, she realized. [Note: Like teeth? What was going through her head writing this] The island was a pastry, crumbling into the sea, day by day. But at dusk, it was pretty. The sun was a running yolk, smearing gold and Oro and red across the sky, as if desperate to leave its mark. The clouds were cotton dipped in pink dye. [Note: …..okay] The snow and ice and frozen everything had looked beautiful—but it had felt like a bite. Mosquitoes, all over her body.  [Note: ….???? Has the author ever lived in a cold place before?????] Isla moved through the castle like a storm. If she’d had power, it would be everywhere. She ran like she was running from something, wielded her dagger like she might throw it; her teeth chattered like the marble beneath her feet was ice. [Note: she ran…like she was running from something. Okay. also, how many times are you gonna throw the word “like” into a single paragraph]

And finally, one that made me actually double take:

The sun had fallen. It was just a yolky thing, halfway consumed by the horizon, when Isla opened the double doors and stared up at the incoming moon. [Note: …. This speaks for itself]

She describes the sun as a yolk or “yolky” a couple times as extremely poor foreshadowing. I will not lie, this is the shittiest foreshadowing I have ever seen in my life. Not to mention some of the only foreshadowing despite the multiple twists at the end. This was something that really weakened this story; with that many twists, you need foreshadowing and call backs. In the last section, the phrase “puddles of stars” appeared so often I made a note wondering if that was also supposed to be foreshadowing. Which it wasn’t. I think that’s worse, honestly, because that phrase is used at least eight times in the book, half of which is around the last few chapters. 

One of the major problems of this book was the time limit: 100 days is much too long. Since the book is constantly compared to the Hunger Games, let’s compare them. In the Hunger Games, each game lasts usually a couple of weeks, sometimes less, sometimes more depending on how deadly the arena is. The 74th game lasted 18 days and the 75th was quite a bit shorter (3 days). It keeps the pace tight, yet there are still moments to take a breath. In Lightlark, several days will get skipped in a paragraph so that it stays on time according to points set. There is zero sense of urgency, which severely dilates the idea that this is a deadly game. It’s super easy to lose track of time (though Aster is kind enough to provide how far in we are) and everything drags. Yes, I get that 100 days makes sense because it happens every 100 years, but it needs to be shortened by a lot, 50 as a max. Hell, a month or 28 days would have been a great time limit, long enough for certain things to happen without dragging. Maybe even cut out parts that were superfluous. 

Another thing this book suffers from is the utter lack of substance. From the plot to the worldbuilding to the characters to the relationships. It is literally 400 pages of nothing. This was a note I had made that starts to get at how I feel about this book:

Book radiates privilege. Not sure it’s part of the author's bias and whatever, but nothing feels like it’s worth anything. Gowns, jewels, what have you. It feels like cheap costumes to show off a farce of a fantasy world

For context, Aster is from a very wealthy family (there is an entire controversy/conspiracy about her influential sister giving her a boost in getting the book published and getting a movie deal, but I’m not going to even get into that). I’m not sure, but I think that I wrote that note before I read a wonderful analysis of the book, which says something similar, that:

This book is definitely built on a Pinterest board, stolen photographs building a thinly defined world. [blog title: Tiktok sensation LightLark is the final boss of bad fantasy YA— a failure built on aesthetic boards and tropes, unable to pretend it has a heart]

Which describes it very well. This book is the literary equivalent of a Pinterest mood aesthetic board with a few tumblr posts about cool worldbuilding ideas. There is so much description of dresses, jewelry, castles, and whatnot, but no care whatsoever in giving the story substance. For an example of what I meant by nothing feels like it’s worth anything, Isla and precious stones. Powerful Wildlings can summon precious stones in so much abundance that people can trip over diamonds walking around their island. Isla says they’re just rocks to her and gives Azul a ring with a giant-ass diamond when they first meet because he made a comment about how large it was. Later, he wears a cape made out of diamonds. How. Precious stones are supposedly worth more to other realms but again, it doesn’t have any weight. 

I could not engage with this book at all. Some people complained that Aster doesn’t trust her readers to remember anything and constantly rehashes things, but I’ll be honest, there were things that were repeated like ten times and I still didn’t catch on because of how disengaged I was. It took me an embarrassingly long time for it to sink in that if the rulers die, it’s an instant murder of their people too. I admit, that’s mostly on me for missing that, but like. It never felt urgent, gripping, or even like a distinct possibility so I didn’t even pay attention. Your readers should not be so uninterested in your story that they miss out on important info like that. It makes me wonder how many other things completely slipped past me. 

A quirk I noticed in her prose is ending a sentence and then carrying it on. For example:

Isla didn’t need to attend the entire event—just some of it. She skipped the picnic in the morning. The festivities on the east side of the Mainland in the afternoon. 

This sort of choppy writing isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it works very well for action or fast-paced moments. However, Aster uses this all the time and sentences end up feeling like they are missing a few words. 

There is a sort of juvenile feel to her work. I think that is due to the fact that her first two books were a middle grade series (I believe she has since abandoned despite it being unfinished in favor of Lightlark). There were aspects of it that would have worked well for middle grade books, but for young adult is just silly. Names of the magical objects (starstick, bondbreaker, bondmaker) and the whole color-coded thing, for example. She constantly uses the word “meanly” which is otherwise fine in moderation. There was also an inconsistency in spelling Moonling as Moon-ling that drove me nuts. It wasn’t for any other people/realms, just Moonling. Maybe it was just because I read the ebook, but that also doesn’t make sense. 

Something that I’ve mentioned quite a few times is that she does a lot of telling with no showing. She tells us that certain characters are close, I don’t feel anything. She tells us the stakes are high, I see none. None of it feels backed by actual proof. It’s very frustrating since this is more of a character-driven book than plot-driven. Neither the characters nor the plot are developed well. It’s honestly eye-opening as a person who’s an amateur writer to the importance of such things. For all its faults—well, due to its faults—I took notes to make myself a better writer. So. I guess there was some worth in reading this book.

Worldbuilding

The worldbuilding, if I haven’t already given this impression, is awful. It’s all aesthetic with no substance. There is definitely potential, yes, but so much of it feels like Aster saw a cool photo or worldbuilding tumblr post on pinterest and shoved it into the story. The agora for example, which is very fairy tale-like but also kind out of place. Basically everything felt superficial and not very well thought out, especially concerning the different realms. There are so many things that get brought up briefly and then never mentioned again. You could argue those things are meant for book 2 and beyond, but you can’t just randomly mention something like the wind talking and never bring it up again when the MC is connected to nature. Or say that the souls (and bodies? It’s unclear) of the people killed by the curses are in the eternal storm surrounding Lightlark in the last chapter. 

The ancient creatures that live on the island as a concept are discarded almost as soon as they are brought up. I am still very puzzled by the scene where Isla gets possessed by a ghost for all of a quarter of a second for some kind of deal between the ghost and Oro. The Vinderlands—Wildlings that never left Lightlark and were even more wild—was a very interesting concept and I wanted to see more of that. But they were basically cannon fodder and came into the story like twice. Isla doesn’t even have a problem mowing them down, despite them being her people (sort of). 

The thing that bugs me the most about this book is that nothing is explained. At least not well. I do think that my total disengagement might have prevented me from understanding or picking up on some things, but so much is just not explained. I never understood the whole “where darkness meets light”. Flairs, Origins, and how being in love allows people to share their powers is never expanded on much nor do they make sense. Origins in particular don’t make sense, not only because I’m guessing you have to be a perfect mix of the four -lings, but Oro said at one point that a child with parents from two different realms can’t inherit both powers. Which seems to be blatantly false, so maybe he was lying. Powers in general are never explained or described all that well. The whole thing about people sharing powers when they are in love is very poorly explained. I initially understood that it had to go both ways, but later both Oro and Grim channel Isla’s powers. I sincerely doubt Aster has the balls to make Isla polyamorous (I honestly would be a lot more interested if she was), but otherwise that whole thing doesn’t make sense. Some things related to curses don’t make sense. Such as, why do dozens of Moonlings die each full moon when it’s very easy to go further away from shore, even on an island? How did Isla’s mother not kill her father? How have Wildlings not completely died out when they can live centuries and have to eat at least one heart a month? The math doesn’t make sense when you think about it longer than three seconds. 

The starstick in general confused and annoyed me a bit. For one thing, I wouldn’t blink if this was a middle grade book, but for YA “starstick” is a bit of a juvenile name. I personally suck at naming things and people for my own stories, so I usually don’t jump on this sort of thing, but come on. The starstick is never described (unless you count “puddle of stars”) so we don’t know what it looks like. Since Isla always tucks it away against her spine to hide it while wearing very skimpy clothes, I guess it’s shorter than a foot. It’s supposedly an extremely rare magical object that came from the Starlings (though in yet another twist that is never addressed again, it’s actually a Nightshade magical object), but it’s never treated as such. It exists solely for convenience of moving the story along and doesn’t even try to cover that up. It’s how Isla met Celeste and Grim before the story started and that was its primary function. I’m also baffled by its introduction of always teleporting her without permission and at the worst of times, since that implies that it’s broken or haywire and randomly teleports her. It’s neither and this is almost immediately contradicted by explaining that Isla can now use it properly. 

One of the “neat” worldbuilding things was the color coded realms from clothes to hair. This gave me Avatar: The Last Airbender vibes and not in a good way. It works in a:tla because it’s a kids show: it helps visually clue in people who is who and helps simplify what’s going on so it’s a little more palpable for children. We are not children, we understand that there is much more to  differentiate cultures and people than the color of their clothes; styles of clothing, patterns, outfit pieces, etc. A:tla does this as well, the nations’ clothing clearly have different styles and are meant to be somewhat historically accurate to whichever culture it is emulating. For all we know, in Lightlark the styles are basically the same just in different colors. The only difference in style of clothing that I knew existed was Isla’s tight, skimpy leaves. The fact that all Isla had to do to sneak into other places was to wear different colors and dye her hair (which seemed like a weirdly complex potion) is just kind of ridiculous. 

Isla—being a Wildling—was also the only one that could wear a variety of colors because nature isn’t only one color. Like, fair I guess, but the fact that other people can’t wear other colors is so enormously stupid. I feel it’s made worse because it’s directly addressed rather than a background thing. At one point, Isla asks if Oro gets tired of wearing gold and he replies he could wear other colors because he’s an Origin. And. I am just befuddled. What is the point of this whole thing? To make it easier for Isla to sneak into places? To have a “cool” worldbuilding piece?

Speaking of clothing: Isla’s booty shorts and tank top. This is supposed to be fantasy. Why does she have these? They were mentioned two separate times. There might be some historical equivalent of these, I sort of doubt it. Considering how revealing her clothes are (I hate constantly hashing on this, but if the book feels the need to, then I have to as well), I don’t know how you wouldn’t see them. I also did quite the double take when she pulled out a dagger tucked into the wiring of her bra. Girl. Why do you have a bra with wiring. Modern bras didn’t exist until the early 20th century. Also how does that work??? This is more of a small gripe but how do days shorten because Oro is dying? I can’t find the passage, but it’s mentioned that the days grew shorter because he’s weakening. That makes me question what time of year this is supposed to be. Considering it spans over three months, that seems important. How does Oro and by extension Lightlark dying cause the Sun to start setting earlier. Is everyone stupid and forgetting that the sun sets earlier the later in the year or does he break space and time by simply dying?

Plot

There are no stakes here. You are constantly told there are stakes, there are lives on the line, but it never shows. Any sort of problem or danger felt distant. I think that a majority of this is due to how the Centennial is structured, like how I talked about before. Another factor is that this is the fifth time they are doing the Centennial and they are nowhere close to breaking the curses. There is no urgency in breaking the curses. Nightshade wasn’t allowed to join the first four times and Cleo skipped the last one. At this point, each realm probably would have totally restructured their societies to accommodate for the curses, but we see no evidence of that except that Sunlings don’t go outside in the day and Nightshades don’t go outside at night. And then there’s the prophecy: the all-important prophecy that nobody gives a shit about. 

Prophecies are meant to be a focal point and always trip you up. For example, in Percy Jackson there are several prophecies, for individual quests and the Great prophecy. It’s adhered to, they hold a primary role not just in the story, but also the themes throughout the books. I never felt like the prophecy was all that important even though it was mentioned about a million times. Especially when none of the characters really cared about it or tried that hard to follow it. Isla zones out when they read out the entirety of it. That doesn’t exactly show your readers that this is supposed to be important. Here it is:

Only joined can the curses be undone Only after one of six has won, When the original offense Has been committed again And a ruling line has come to an end Only then can history amend

Even if it’s pretty vague, it’s also pretty straight forward: all six rulers need to work together, one of them wins…something, they commit the original offense (none of them knows what that is) and one ruling line has to end. Not a realm. The rulers couldn’t grasp the basic idea of the prophecy where they had to come together to figure out a solution. Instead, they fought each other resulting in the deaths of dozens of civilians, realized that was short-sighted, and then split up into pairs for part of the time they were there. Great teamwork guys.

Something that puzzled me the entire time is why would the ruler’s dying cause the insta-murder of their realm? Is it some sort of magical transfer from heir to ruler to heir to benefit their realm somehow? Because that’s a huge design flaw. How do they know that would happen? It’s not in the prophecy. Has it happened before to another realm that no longer exists? That would be interesting, but we have zero indication of that. 

The plot is so railed upon, but never followed through that well. There’s a deadly intense game going on, don’t you know? And the goal is to kill one of the rulers, but if you kill them then their realm dies, don’t you know? Anyway, here’s hundreds of pages of nothing happening. 

Getting the bondbreaker is the main goal of Isla for a majority of the book, but gets sidelined by finding the Heart once the idea gets introduced halfway through. The idea of the Heart being, well, the heart of Lightlark makes sense as a magical object, but literally everything else about it doesn’t. It blooms once every 100 years, where “darkness meets light”, which changes, and gives whoever wields it lots of power. Why? We aren’t told. Oro makes a deal with a ghost and lets Isla get possessed by it for about one second to get information about where it is. This ultimately serves no purpose really. So much of the book is spent with them uselessly searching for the Heart with some “bonding” between them. 

I will say, even though I didn’t understand the whole “darkness meets light” thing, I did think that the Heart appearing at dawn/dusk was kind of clever and it made sense why Oro never found it since he was physically unable to go out into the sunlight without dying. But um. What the fuck is this?

Right below the nest, something was floating in the air, untethered to gravity. “Is that an egg?” she asked. Just as the words left her mouth, the egg fell. Slowly, too slowly, it plunged to the ground- And cracked open. From its shell emerged a shining, gold yolk. It rose from the ground in tandem with the sun rising from the horizon, just across the cliff. “The full moon represents the egg,” she said, “The yolk… is the sun.” How many times had she thought the full moon looked like an egg? That the sun looked yolky? [Note: Bruh. There are so many better comparisons and call backs you can do]

The heart is a yolk. Or an egg. Both maybe. Why? Unexplained. I have never seen symbolism and foreshadowing done so poorly. By the way, the moon is never referred to as an egg. 

Since Lightlark was co-created by a Sunling, I understand the sun comparison (sorta). But Lightlark was also created by a Nightshade and a Wildling, so the moon comparison doesn’t make as much sense considering the Moonlings exist (if they didn’t it would have made sense). Also, the entire time you’re led to believe that the Heart is a plant and that’s why Oro wanted Isla’s help. Where’s Wildling’s symbolism? (you could argue that eggs are a part of nature; I argue that Isla doesn’t bring that up in her little analysis and makes that argument void.)

Plot twists

*drum roll* We finally got here, prepare to be confused and for me to miss a couple because literally so many things got revealed at the end. 

First of all, I completely missed how they found the bondbreaker. I’m not sure how, but I did and was thoroughly confused when Celeste wanted Isla and Grim to come to the Wildling palace to use it. They get there and because the Wilding Palace is special, only Wildling powers can work there and also suppress curses, so Grim doesn’t immediately die (shame). Grim chooses that moment to tell Isla that they were lovers before the Centennial and that he had to erase her memories for reasons he reveals later. Isla understandably runs away and joins Celeste to use the bondbreaker.

Plot twist! Celeste is Aurora—a character that was named dropped I believe exactly once—who faked her death 500 years ago after starting the curses on accident because her lover (Oro’s brother) fell in love with Isla’s ancestor and she got v mad. She’s evil now and wants all the power in the world, by using the bondMAKER not breaker to secure powers from each of the rulers. Celeste/Aurora has the Flair of being able to shapeshift, so over the centuries, she just shapeshifts into a new Starling ruler every time she’s supposed to reach her age limit. 

The entire time, she and Grim were working together or at least partially, as she got information from him about the Heart (by seducing him 500 years ago), and then later started keeping in touch concerning Isla. Celeste/Aurora said that she was using Isla to end the curses and kill Oro, so Grim agreed with her plan and gave this bullshit reason as to why he took away Isla’s memories:

“Hearteater,” Grim said, trying to get her attention. But she couldn’t even look at him. He growled, tearing against his binds. But it was useless. “She told me the original offense was a Sunling ruler falling in love with a Wildling ruler—Egan loving Violet.” His breathing was labored. “To break the curses and fulfill the prophecy, the original offense had to be repeated again. You had to make Oro fall in love with you. But we were already in love. You would have refused. So, I had to take the memories of us together away.” [Note: What is this bullshit]

Like. what the fuck. Also, her guardians had raised her so that she would seduce Oro in order to gain his powers. If Grim had let her in on this little plan, she would have actually done it instead of doing basically the opposite of what they had told her to do. Not to mention that Grim constantly tries to seduce her throughout the game, because he “can’t control himself.” Get this man a restraining order. 

More twists: Celeste/Aurora was in cahoots with Isla’s guardians and had them kill her parents. 

I actually thought this wasn’t a horrible twist. It just was not done well. Especially when she would have been in on the whole thing of Isla seducing Oro. Except she encouraged Isla to help her find the bondbreaker/maker instead of saying something like “okay you seduce him, i’ll go find it”?

Isla teleports back home because it’s buzzing (for literally no goddamn reason), kind of confronts one of her guardians for betraying and killing her parents, puts on some armor, then goes back to the Wildlings palace to finish the fight, somehow instantly much better than before. She also figures out what the real “first offense” was—Aurora killing her besty Violet in cold blood—in the middle of said fight. Idk how that’s supposed to cause a curse to happen, you’d think with that logic there would be a lot more curses going around from various types of -cides because of power-grabbing thrones. 

Something with the Heart happens. I literally did not have a clue what was going on in this part. She summons it to her or something, heals herself, sucks back all the power, and then kills Celeste/Aurora, causes the floor to cave in, and almost dies. But no! One of her love interests uses Wildling nature powers (because of power sharing) and saves her! Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd it’s Oro, not Grim, because she doesn’t love him anymore. (good ridden)

The book is wrapped up with brief mentions of what happened to the other rulers, Isla and Oro being confused as to why they are in love, and the book ends with Isla opening a vault door in the old Wildling palace that was a big ol’ mystery using her crown of all things. Reading this, my ebook showed like another five percent or so left of the book and when I realized that the rest was the first couple of chapters of the next book, I was so relieved that it was over and didn’t bother looking at what happened next. This was my finishing note, lol:

Oh thank fuck there’s wasn’t more. There’s no way I’m reading the next book. I’m not even that interested in what’s in the vault

Conclusion 1/5 stars

Definitely one of the worst books I've ever read. Characters were flat, the world was all sparkle with no substance, and the plot was never followed through well. there was so much potential in so many different aspects that either never get delved into, are done so poorly, or never even explored. I almost rated it a two because I got through it, then realized that it was even worse as I wrote this.

There were a couple of things that I kind of liked: Juniper getting murdered (because I didn't expect anyone with a name or of any importance to die), Azul poisoning Celeste (it intrigued me that a nice character would do that unprovoked), and Isla's guardian's betrayal. that's about it.

If you made it this far, give yourself a treat. you deserve it after reading this much word vomit.

[cartoons-babeyyyy]

Happy Bi Visibility day!!! Heres some reminders about our beloved Luz Noceda<3 (Non bisexuals can and are encouraged to rb)

-Reminder that Luz's bisexuality is shown loud and clear via her crushes on both Ed and Em all within the same episode which executed her sexuality FLAWLESSLY. The fact that Edric and Emira look and act almost exactly alike and Luz likes both of them,, it screams of "THIS CHARACTER IS BI AND SHE LIKES BOTH MALES AND FEMALES AT ONCE BABEY!!!"

No seriously Name a more blatant way of confirming a character as bi without the character directly saying "I'm bi." I'LL WAIT. (Would love to see Luz actually come out in the show tho!! Fingers crossed.)

- Reminder that Luz's attraction to males is still wonderfully queer and we stan

"This quest is questing in alllll the right ways." See also: the instance where Luz had a prince character shipped with her self insert character Luzura within "Luzura's Awakening."

- Reminder that Luz casually uses she/her pronouns when saying she has a crush on "education"

"I've got a new crush and HER name is education!" You go girl! Saying it so casually and within the context of not having a literal crush makes this line so wonderful. Its just so,, miniscule and yet oh so loud and proud.. gOD. We love to see it.

- Reminder that Luz dressed to Grom like this: donned in a tailcoat + tutu

Her gender expression and balance of "masculinity" and "femininity" screams Bi energy and also vibes with the fact that bi people (like other queer sexualities) often have weird feelings in regards to gender conformity, presentation, and gender as a whole. See also:

- "I'm a bad boy!" YES AND WE LOVE THAT BAD BOY.

- Reminder that not only is she bi but she wholly as a character is written with the bisexual experience bc of Dana Terrace and as such, her bisexuality is expressed beyond just in her sexuality,, its in everything about her. It shapes her as a character.

-Reminder Luz owns a bi flag and has it in her room:

The fact that Luz owns a bi flag also.. I mean its clear that Luz's bi-ness is a integral part of who she is but its little details like these that make my heart SOAR.

- Reminder that Eda too is bi and has a bi flag pasted to her Cheat box (indicating her bisexuality is also something she is proud to express) meaning Luz's adoptive mother figure/mentor is also bi!

This to me is so important and special and amazing bc OF COURSE Eda, who Luz aspires to be, who Luz looks up to and adores, is a older bi lady who is also considered "weird" and doesn't conform. Its a little thing but that to me is SO important.

- FINALLY reminder one of the main themes of the show,, being different and not fitting in anywhere can also be connected to being queer (as well as any other deviancy irrationally frowned upon by society) but especially in the case of bisexuality bc both within and outside the queer community bisexuality has been shunned and silenced and slandered and it makes us feel as though we really don't belong anywhere.

This whole concept of not fitting in, feeling strange and not correct is a part of the bisexual experience, and its something Luz canonly faces. (This is also attributed to her being nd-coded as well as a POC, its all part of those experiences.) Knowing this was something Luz struggles with and knowing that shes bi and that this show is written by a bi person just makes the whole thing make more sense. The theme of the show is the way it is for a reason!

- FEEL FREE TO ADD ON!!!

BUT BASICALLY IN CONCLUSION: LUZ IS BI, SHES BI AND SHE COULDN'T BE MORE BI AND SHES WONDERFUL!!!!💖💜💙

(I also may or may not have fixated on this post and neglected my project due tomorrow and my several failing classes but shhhh we don't talk about that. The important thing here is Luz!!!! Is!!!! Bi!!!!<3)

[nanoland]

warning for incoming rambling because i love these 2 idiots so so much

this scene from All His Engines (2005) is the kinda thing i’m talking about when arguing that Chas is actually neither a better person than John nor less internally complex than John, even though John 100% believes he is.

one of John’s foremost characteristics is that when he or his friends are threatened by something immeasurably more powerful than he is, he’ll go to almost any length to beat it. he’ll take terrible risks, he’ll cheat, lie, fight dirty, he’ll do damn near anything. there ARE lines he won’t cross, but not many. because John hates seeing the powerful abuse the powerless and John really fucking loves winning.

that trait isn’t inherently negative or inherently positive; it is, however, one of the reasons John’s managed to beat the odds and come out on top so many times, often saving large numbers of people in the process. so, in the context of John’s story, it’s more an asset than a liability.

now Chas, on the other hand, doesn’t care about winning. he doesn’t share John’s drive to prove himself to the world, or John’s concern for the powerless. sure, Chas has a soft heart and if he sees someone in trouble, he’ll probably lend them a hand. but Chas doesn’t think in abstracts like John does; Chas doesn’t envision humanity as a cosmic underdog being kicked around by Heaven and Hell alike. Chas’s primary motivation is to protect the people he loves (one of whom, thankfully, is John).

again, that’s neither an inherently negative or positive aspect of Chas’s character. on the one hand, it means he’s less ideologically committed, less passionate. on the other hand, it means he’s able to form and maintain strong, healthy social bonds in a way that John struggles to copy. however, in the context of the story - which is John’s story first and foremost - Chas’s way of looking at the world leaves him vulnerable. he doesn’t want to get involved in what John sees as an ongoing war on humanity; he doesn’t want to know how to do magic or how to summon demons or how any of John’s tricks work. it’s just not his thing. for all he complains about John not telling him stuff, he rarely pushes to learn more about the supernatural; he’s content to let John be the brains of the operation. as a result, when the supernatural starts coming after his family, he’s helpless.

and while being helpless only makes John angry and more determined than ever to win, Chas… gives up. he sees the odds stacked against him, resigns himself to losing, and tries to move on as best he can. it’s John who has to motivate him to keep going even when there’s no hope.

what i love, what i LOVE, is that even though John’s a snarky bastard about it, his internal monologue makes it clear he doesn’t BLAME Chas for giving up, he’s not disappointed in him or angry with him. he rolls his eyes and gives Chas a brisk shake before laying out their next move. he understands Chas’s weaknesses, just like Chas understands his, and he intervenes just as much as is needed to stop Chas from making a huge mistake.

idk i think it’s a great scene that gets both characters and ALSO oh boy it makes this scene at the end all the more bittersweet:

ouch. John saves Chas’s family knowing that said family will always represent a fence cutting straight through their friendship, knowing that Chas will always be compelled to choose his stable married life over his chaotic bi lover best friend, and knowing that that’s the right choice, the safest choice for everyone, even if it means he’s sitting alone in the restaurant at the end of the day with only a manly handshake for his troubles

and uhh i mean i think i WAS going somewhere with this but tbh the only conclusion i have to offer is the same one i’m left with at the end of every Hellblazer arc: John Constantine should definitely fuck Satan.

[punkassrichie]

Just Tonight pt 1

A/N: i’ve only written like,, one fic on this blog lol but i really love It so i decided to start up again. also just wanted to say i’m aware that beverie isnt an ideal ship, but i just love it sm 😪😪 it’s got all the angst i need and want >.< but anyway feel free to send me requests? i will do any and every ship bc that’s just how much i love everyone and everything. feedback would be much appreciated! <3 also this is a college au but i wanted the first part to be kind of like a back story, like what went on during their high school years. this fic was inspired by the song Just Tonight by The Pretty Reckless. feel free to give it a listen as well to get a feel of the theme for the fic lol

Warnings: angst, mentions of underage drinking and substance abuse, mentions of underage sex, mentions of SA and abuse, abusive and toxic relationships, cheating, mentions of suicide me projecting just a lil and Bev x Richie. college au. if i missed any lmk. oh aaaaand all of the character are bi LMAO k byeeee

Summary: Beverly and Richie were the cliche best friends. Going to the same high school, joining the same clubs, hanging out at the Aladdin and arcades, applying to the same colleges, telling each other their deepest darkest secrets. Being each other’s firsts. Falling in love. And neither of them knowing about it.

It was the last day of summer, barely going into high school the first time it happened. They were getting drunk and high together, just the two of them. At the time, Bev was with Bill, and Richie was pining after Eddie. Both of them sad because Bev loved Bill with all of her being, but she never felt right with him and Richie loved Eddie, who never made it clear whether he loved him back or not. Eddie was messing with his head a little bit. Not intentionally, he just didn’t have the confidence Richie did. And he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

Richie understood. He wasn’t going to force Eddie to do anything he didn’t wanna do. And if that included Eddie not wanting to be with him then so be it.

But man, did it fucking hurt.

So they both drank themselves sick, neither of them understanding why they were the way they were. They’d talked all hours of the night, drunk laughing and crying, and making dumb jokes until they started talking about things they’d never really touched on before. He’d ask her about her abusive father and she’d ask about his neglectful parents, both of them answering any questions they had.

They started talking about how Richie was still a virgin, and how he really wanted to have sex but not with just anyone. He drunkenly confessed to saving himself for Eddie, but knowing that wouldn’t happen because he knew Eddie wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship with him. It’s like Eddie wanted nothing to do with him.

Bev saw a tear stream down his eye, and she shouldn’t have, she knew she shouldn’t have but she leaned in to kiss him, she told herself it was just to comfort him but one thing led to another and before they knew it, their clothes were off and Richie was tossing her on his bed. With Richie, it felt so wrong but more right than Bill. In Bev’s head, it made sense.

The morning after, Bev had woke up crying. She wasn’t weeping.. it was more like soft sobs. Richie woke up and asked her what was wrong. She didn’t know.

“Is it because of Bill?” Richie asked, his face full of concern.

“No, and that’s the worst part.” She managed to squeak out between sobs. Richie just held her.

Bill was the last thing on her mind, and while she felt bad, she didn’t linger on the thought too much. She knew they wouldn’t last.

No, she just felt wrong. She always felt wrong. She liked it so much that she wanted to do it again and again and it filled her with shame. Guilt. She told herself she’d never be into it, not after her father ruined it for her. But still, she was. And she was disgusted with herself.

She finally told Richie after she couldn’t take her thoughts anymore. Richie assured her that she wasn’t wrong for feeling the way she did. That it was okay, and he had a great time. He was glad she did too.

She looked up at him, not understanding why he was so sweet to her. She didn’t deserve it, she thought.

This time it was Richie that leaned in to kiss her. She was shocked because he wasn’t drunk, and neither was she. She almost forgot that people don’t need to be drunk to have sex. She also forgot that it’s not really recommended. Eventually she melted into it. He was getting handsy and pulled back to let Bev know she can say stop at any moment and he would.

But she didn’t.

And that morning, Richie had went down on someone for the first time in his teen years, and Bev had her first real orgasm.

That’s when she became addicted to it.

-

Few years into high school, and Bev and Richie were still the best of friends. Not making things weird or “official.” Just two best friends that kiss sometimes (and sometimes that do more than kiss) and then act like it didn’t happen the next day. Almost all the time.

Before school started, Bev broke up with Bill. She knew what she wanted now and she wasn’t going to use Bill to get it. She always knew he was a sweetheart, and that he deserved better. She didn’t tell him what happened with Richie, and she made Richie promise he wouldn’t say anything either. Of course he did, but only if she did the same. She also didn’t tell Bill that she was gonna go around, chasing the high that she’d get from Richie, but with other people. He was heartbroken enough, she wanted to spare him at least some of the heartache.

Most of the time she’d just sleep with Richie. At first it was just convenient, and she trusted him, and him only. But then she realized it was because she didn’t feel comfortable with anyone else. She hadn’t realized it but she was falling for the boy. The thought would creep up in her head but she’d make it go away as fast as it appeared.

But all of that changed when Richie and Eddie started officially dating.

She wasn’t jealous, she couldn’t be. She loved him so much and was happy when he finally got to have the boy he pinned over all throughout his childhood. She knew he’d be happy.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t feeling a little lonely though, seeing as Eddie would take up all of Richies time. Of course she had the other losers, but it wasn’t the same. They didn’t understand her like he did.

And of course she lied, she was a little jealous that someone took her best friend away. But she had to suppress it because she knew her and Richie would never work.

Richie loved Bev too, but not like he loved Eddie. She knew that. She understood. She also knew she was incapable of loving someone. Or having anyone love her for that matter. She knew he loved Eddie and Eddie only.

She only started to question it when she started to sneak into his house through his bedroom window, sophomore year of course, after yet another rough night with her father. He knew. He understood. He was there. In more ways than one. Some nights he’d just hold her. When she was shaking, when she couldn’t stop crying, and especially when she couldn’t muster the words to tell him what had happened. Other nights she would be beneath him, asking begging him to make her forget. And he would. Because he loved her and wanted to show her. But the thought of love was questionable now because if he could do that to Eddie, what would he do to her? He and Eddie had only been together a few months then.

Eventually she realized what he would do to her.

One night she had biked over to his house, covered in bruises and blood. That night it had been really bad. She went over and climbed up his window, knowing the path up the tree all too well. His window was unlocked, his bed was made and the light was on. Except Richie wasn’t there. She looked over to the bed where there were fresh, clean clothes and a towel underneath them. She knew what it meant.

It was a silent “I can’t do this anymore, but i’m still here for you.” She knew that’s what it meant because for them, words never had to be exchanged. They could speak through gestures and they would just know.

She ended up leaving and finding a quick fuck on tinder. He ended up bruising her up even more. At least he got her a room and stayed with her until they both had to go their separate ways.

-

Sophomore year had ended and summer began. Bev and Richie were more distant than ever. She knew it was bound to happen but she never prepared herself for it. But that didn’t mean she was going to steal him away from the person he loved most.

So she took matters into her own hands. Once she realized she could be in control of her body, she started to get a little out of hand. She started talking to more people at school, trying to figure out if they were into her or not. She debated going on tinder again but there were so many missing person flyers all over town and she didn’t wanna end up on one of them. Not like that anyway.

She felt more comfortable with people she kinda knew. That was until she got involved with one too many football players. When school started up again, they began their “locker room talk” and once a lot of the boys figured out they had sex with the same girl, they’d tell everyone and label her a slut. Bev ended up being one of those girls. It got around school and even back to the cheerleaders which some of them had experimented with Bev that same summer too. Of course, they’d never say anything about it, mostly because they weren’t sure about their sexualities, but that didn’t stop them from bullying her either. Including Greta.

Greta Keene was the main one that ended up torturing Bev. Which was sad really, considering all the nights they had together. It was almost like Bev had found her replacement. She just forgot how cruel people can be.

She was forgetting a lot of things. Once the rumors were spread, some true, most of them not true- she forgot that she had friends she could trust and talk to and tell them what had happened. But she was scared mostly. She knew the losers didn’t believe the rumors anyway but she also knew that a part of them wondered.

So she distanced herself. First time with Richie, second time with the whole club. It wasn’t intentional, but she knew that if she kept up her actions, they’d be concerned. Or they would leave. And you can’t be left unless you leave first, right?

Bev felt like her life was in the gutter. That nothing mattered and nothing was real. She didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care about anything. Not about the rumors at school, not about the people taunting her and calling her a slut every 5 minutes, and not Richie. Definitely not Richie.

She still did what she thought was best for her, and if that meant drugs too, then drugs it was.

She wasn’t into anything hardcore, but she loved downers. She loved the fact that she could take a pill and it would make her numb and forget the events of that day, or the one before, or even after.

She changed. And everyone noticed.

The losers grew concerned. They’d see her walking down the halls, hair looking shaggy with baggy clothes (because anything she wore that was her size would get her called a ‘slut’ much more than it does when she wears clothes that isn’t), big shoes and sometimes when she would things her size, they could see the bruises on her arms, the cuts and scrapes on her knees and elbows, the hand shaped marks on her throat. She’d stretch and while her shirt rode up a little on her waist, you could marks on her hips too.

They were scared for her, and they knew something was up. They loved and care for Beverly so they weren’t going to let her go that easy.

One day, Bev skips out on school and all the losers noticed. It was weird, no matter how much she got bullied or beat (by Greta and her bitch clique and sometimes the Bowers gang), she’d never miss a day.

That’s when they all decided at lunch to skip their last three periods to spend it looking for her. They checked her house first, her dad telling them to fuck off and leave her alone, and if she went out and got herself killed then that was her own damn business. It made their blood boil, it made Richie wanna sock him right there and then. But Bill being Bill, just said thank you and walked off. Made Richie wanna sock him too.

They went to the barrens, quarry, clubhouse, everywhere and she was nowhere to be found. They headed back to school, heads hanging low in defeat, worried about her. They didn’t know what else to do but wait until her dad decided to file a missing person report.

The last bell rang and they all headed home, Bill told the rest of the losers that he would try to come up a plan to see what more they could do to try and find her. He didn’t wanna give up, although the rest of the losers already had.

Richie was walking Eddie home when he cried to him and told him that he shouldn’t have pushed her away the way he did, and that it was all his fault. Eddie just held him, not understanding the relationship the two had. He told him that everything would be okay anyway and that they would find her. Richie just nodded and continued to walk him home.

Eddie offered him to spend the night with him, like he had been doing all year but this time Richie politely declined. He doesn’t know why but something was telling him to go home. Go home and check.

He doesn’t tell Eddie, just tells him he might be coming down with something and that’s enough to make the hypochondriac stay away. For that night at least.

Richie kisses him goodbye and heads on home. And sure enough, there she was. Sitting in his steps, fumbling with something in her hands and mumbling to herself.

He throws his bike to the side and rushes over to her, asking her if she was okay or hurt. She just laughed.

She reeked of alcohol and had a small brown pill bottle in her hands. It was empty.

He kept asking her questions and grew more concerned when he see that her eye had been swollen shut. She was crying, but laughing at any question Richie had.

She was fucked up, it wasn’t hard to tell. Richie didn’t ask anymore questions and just helped her up. She refused but he still managed to get her up. While he helped her up the stairs and into his room, he asked her what she was on. She didn’t respond. He was growing frustrated but settled for asking her when she was sober. He helped her get cleaned up, and saw to her eye when she got out of the shower. He didn’t know much about first aid, but he knew what Eddie taught him.

She stopped crying and she was just silent, her eyes fluttering like she couldn’t keep them open anymore. When he was done, Richie set her down on his bed and held her while she slept. “Love you, Richie.” was the last thing she murmured before falling into a deep sleep.

Of course it hurt him, and of course he blamed himself. She needed him and he dropped her like she meant nothing to him. But it wasn’t like that. Now he wishes they could’ve just talked. If he hasn’t been so caught up with Eddie, maybe they could have.

It was 7pm the next day when she woke up. She seemed very confused, and was surprised when Richie was beside her, talking to Eddie on the phone. He wrapped up the call once he saw that she was awake, he had questions and he was going to get them. He was determined. He hung up and just sighed when he saw the state she was in.

“Bev, you’ve gotta tell me what’s been going on with you.” He says with a soft tone as he sits on his bed, facing her. She can barely look at him, feeling anxious and embarrassed. But she knows she can trust him.

“I-I havent been doing very well lately.” Is all she can manage to say. Then she starts to cry again. And just like he would before, he held her. He calmed her down and waited until she was ready to talk.

And when she was, she confided in him. She told him everything, how she’s been sleeping around to get by, how she found a specific drug that helped her sleep through the nights her dad wouldn’t let her, how some of the rumors at school were true, and how much she missed him and the rest of the losers. She told him that she didn’t wanna leave them the way she did, but she didn’t want them to leave first when they found out about her.

When she was done pouring her heart out, he just looked at her and hugged her. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. She was still for a second, but then wrapped her own arms around him.

And they remained in their position for a while. They didn’t talk about their little ‘situation’ they had gotten themselves into, nor did they want to. They hardly ever did. They just sat in silence for comfort.

After that months flew by once again, and things felt normal again. Bev got used to the bullying and harassment from her classmates but she didn’t have to deal with it alone anymore. The losers club made them back off actually, defending Bev until it got them suspended.

They didn’t care though, they wanted to show Bev they actually care about her and that she’s not alone. She learned to appreciate them more than she already did.

They started having more sleepovers than usual so that Bev wouldn’t have to stay at her dad’s so much, and they started calling her and checking up on her.

Richie was always making sure she was okay and telling her to text him whenever she got home or if she was going anywhere and back. Just to keep tabs, making sure she’s alright.

They didn’t sleep together anymore, and neither of them minded. At least that’s what they told themselves. Bev had a few fuck buddies since Richie, one of them being Greta.

“Why the fuck would you still be fucking her?” Richie exclaimed after Bev confessed that she was still fooling around with her despite being harassed by her and her clique.

She just shrugged. She couldn’t tell him it was because she couldn’t fuck him anymore, she didn’t want to pin anything on him. And she couldn’t tell him that she kind of liked the abuse.

Bev had all sorts of kinks that she wasn’t ready to talk about with just anyone, and she knows she could trust Richie, but she still feels a bit embarrassed and ashamed.

Before they knew it was summer again, and that was the first time they were all together again in a long time. Her friends changed and she didn’t even realize it. But so did she. She found comfort in knowing that they would accept her no matter what. And that she would too.

-

Senior year was the best year for the losers, but as well as the worst. They called it their Slack Off year. They had done so much work the years before just to be able to call it that. They’d have 3 classes the whole day and the rest were free periods. Their work really paid off. And it was so much better knowing they were all going to be at the same college. It would be an understatement to say they were excited for next fall. It was until someone new had come into the picture and changed everything.

Her name was Criss. She was new to Derry High. To the town in general.

Beverly swore she loved her. And she swore Criss loved her back. And how they came to be were the losers’ guess but they were happy for her nonetheless. Things with them were great at first. Bev finally seemed happy to have someone by her side at all times, happy to be lovey dovey with, and just happy in general. Beverly was in love to say the least.

The rest of the losers were obviously happy for her, but if anyone had asked Richie what he thought about Criss, he wouldn’t say what he was really thinking. He avoided the question if he could.

But then they started to notice the red flags in Criss, and they weren’t so sure about her. They’d notice when she’d lie about little things, the way she’d grip Bev’s arm when she was mad, the insults she’d scream at Bev whenever they were in a fight, the scenes she’d make when things just wouldn’t go her way. One time Bev showed up at the quarry with a freshly split lip, and they knew it wasn’t her father because she wouldn’t stay at her house anymore. They hated it, and they knew Bev hated it too.

Except Bev didn’t hate it- that much, because Criss wasn’t that bad. She’d ignore the losers when they expressed their concerns for her because she knew who she was deep down. Most importantly she was loved. That feeling alone was enough to make her fly high into the sky. She couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. She only hated the fact that she fell for a person who ended up not being what they said they were. But she convinced herself it was okay, and that she would be able to handle her. She loved her, and if that meant putting up with mild bruises and screaming matches, then so be it. She was just happy that someone loved her.

It wasn’t until Beverly caught her with Greta in her bed, that she knew it was too good to be true. That was the first time she felt her heart shatter. She didn’t go to the losers when she first saw them together, she went on a walk all by herself and not because she felt stupid, (oh but she definitely did) but because if she didn’t, she was convinced she might’ve offed herself. Sometimes she wishes she did. And all the shame, guilt, and embarrassment had returned. She didn’t believe in anything at all anymore.

-

dont be a stranger and lmk what u think <333 part two will be out soon!

[cablesscutie]

34. “I just want to be there for you.” Zutara, For the fluff prompt list please ☺️

Hello!! You sent me this a very long time ago and then my brain was bad and ground to a screeching halt, but I have been thinking about it this whole time! And now my brain has finally allowed me to make words again these past few weeks, so here it is:

PART 1 \\ PART 2

Even after seeing pictures of Zuko convinces Katara to tentatively agree to Ty Lee’s hairbrained scheme, she still tells herself that she has time to bail. If she really decides that she doesn’t need a date after all, she can just cancel on him and tell Aang her date had food poisoning or something. If worst comes to worst, she can claim that she has food poisoning too and escape the entire mortifying ordeal altogether. Zuko is just an option.

This is the constant refrain in her mind week after week as the date of the wedding approaches, and Katara gets somehow less enthusiastic about it with each passing day. She thinks it as she lets Suki shove her into a fitting room, laden with figure-hugging dresses. She thinks it as she scrolls quickly past Instagram posts counting down the days, politely liking them faster than she can process the sight of fairy lights and mason jars. She thinks it as she impulsively adds a leg waxing to her bi-monthly spa day with Toph. Zuko is just an option.

Just an option with arms that look like they would feel strong and secure around her, and a shy smile, and who’s sweet and playful with kids. Katara lets out a long, frustrated groan and presses her forehead to her desk, rolling it back and forth in a futile attempt to rub out the impending headache of a Friday afternoon. A moment later, she hears the telltale rattle of Suki’s office chair, and then her friend is rolling to a stop beside her.

“You good?” she asks, brushing aside Katara’s hair so she can see her face.

“No,” she sighs, annoyed.

“Is it the rehearsal dinner? Because if you don’t want to go, I can just say you got held late at work.”

“No, no. That’ll be...fine, probably. It’s this whole wedding date thing.”

“Oh do not tell me you’re still being all wishy-washy about it.”

“It just feels like a weird thing to do! I’m just going to show up at my ex’s wedding with this random dude? How will that look?”

“Um, probably like you’ve moved on? Which you have. Objectively. You even had a whole other relationship.”

“Really? Because I think it’ll look like I’m jealous and trying not to be.”

Suki fixes her with disbelieving eyebrows and a laugh. “Trust me, babe. Nobody is going to think that you’re the one that left that relationship pining. You were basically his mom. If this was Jet’s wedding...eh, maybe? But you tend to settle.”

Katara isn’t quite sure if Suki is trying to insult her or compliment her with that statement, and she isn’t sure if her kneejerk, “Hey!” is out of a desire to defend her judgement, or her past partners’ character. Regardless, she doesn’t have much after that to refute the point. Aang seems like a functional enough adult now, a few years out of college, but when they had dated, the “teen” in his nineteen years definitely showed. As for Jet, her much more recent cut, he was...vibing.

“Hon, you’re gonna be fine. I’ve heard Ty Lee and Mai talk about Zuko before, and he sounds like a decent guy. At worst, you have a meh date and escape some social awkwardness, but-” the upward tilt of Suki’s voice had Katara on edge, knowing what was coming next.

“Please, no -”

“- it could be good.”

“No, it can’t be.”

“Ty Lee seems really confident about you two, and you know she’s got a creepy good love radar. After all, she’s the one who convinced me not to block your brother when he slid into my DM’s. Even you told me to block him.”

“She does not have love radar. I love her, but the girl is an unstoppable meddler; she was bound to have a hit once,” Katara dismisses. It’s true that Sokka and Suki are adorable now, and perhaps evidence of the existence of soulmates, but Katara maintains that Ty Lee is a hopeless romantic who believes anything could be the start of an epic love story.

“Fine, be a cynic then. But you’ve already acknowledged that he’s hot, so just go to the wedding with him, and maybe finally rebound from Jet.”

“Hmm,” Katara hums noncommittally.

She’s something of a serial monogamist. She’d left her first real relationship with Aang intending on a summer fling to cleanse her palate before going back for her senior year. After a whirlwind month with the mature and worldly Jiang, she’d been looking into online classes, all but ready to move onto her houseboat and sail away into the sunset. Until Suki pointed out that it was an insane plan, and the ultimately parted ways as planned when Jiang set out to sea again. From there, she had fallen in with Jet as a friend with benefits to blow off steam through her last year without leaving herself open to distraction.

He wasn’t the kind of stable presence she could see herself settling down with, but wasn’t looking to be babied either. No, Jet was more of a feral creature. He knew he was dysfunctional and was fine with it, because function was the system and the system was bogus. Then, she got to know him, and realized that he kept people at a distance for much the same reason she was always pulling them too close. Suddenly, she had grand dreams of showing him the healing power of love, and both of them breaking free of their pain, never needing to fear being alone ever again. He cheated on her, and even as she was shouting at him, she’d known deep down that they had both just repeated their same bad habits all over again.

Now, there is Zuko. Zuko, with tragedy in his scarred eye, and sadness in his smile, but gentle hands on little legs resting on his shoulders. Katara thinks she could make many bad habits out of Zuko, and she is not too proud to admit that it terrifies her. Her stomach turns, and she thinks it might not even be a lie by the time she tells Zuko she’s suddenly too sick to attend the wedding.

The nausea gets worse at the rehearsal dinner, when she walks in to find Jet there, grinning at a bridesmaid. Suki hauls her over to Aang to give him a dressing-down for inviting him, and Katara is somehow reminded in the span of five minutes why she is extremely glad to be rid of both of them.

“I didn’t think it would be a problem!” Aang says, his usual defense. “And he is my friend - we go rock climbing together.”

“Small world,” Suki snarls, and Aang goes wide-eyed, leaning around her to look beseechingly at Katara.

“I swear, I didn’t think you were avoiding each other! After all, we’re exes, and it’s my wedding, but that’s not weird. So I figured you wouldn’t have a problem being in the same room as your other ex.”

Katara grits her teeth behind glossy lips that she forces into a smile, and despite Suki’s murder eyes and the voice in her head telling her not to - to swallow her embarrassment and tell the truth - she finds herself falling back on those old bad habits. “It’s okay, Aang. You had good intentions. We can be adults for one day.”

“Thank you so much Katara,” Aang gushes, lunging forward to wrap her in a hug that pins her arms briefly to her sides. “You’re the best!”

Suki shakes her head in disappointment as he bounds away. “You made your bed,” she reminds Katara. “Guess now you have to decide who to lie in it with.” She glides away to join Sokka at the bar, leaving Katara standing dazed and confused.

“Katara, hey,” an all too familiar voice greets her almost immediately after, and Katara closes her eyes. Suki totally hung her out to dry, and she can’t even be that mad because she’s right.

“Jet,” she says evenly, turning to face him. This shouldn’t be hard for her. While she doesn’t forgive him, she’s also very over him and understands that she’s an idiot for not making Aang ask him to leave. “How are you?”

“Not bad, not bad,” he says, bobbing his head. His clothes are formal but rumpled by disdain for their formality, an effect which once had a liquifying effect on Katara’s insides, but now just feels rude. “I was actually coming over to ask you the same thing,” he says, as though it is a profound inquiry and not the root of all small talk. She opens her mouth to offer a brusque reply and make an excuse to join Sokka and Suki at their table, but he knocks the wind out of her sails with his next words. “Ex’s wedding and all. Brutal.” He gives her a look that she is all to familiar with: his I-see-your-pain look. It was another thing about him that used to push all the right buttons on her, but now she just feels insulted at the presumption that she needs or wants his pity.

“Aang is actually a very dear friend,” she says, trying to sound as impenetrably chipper as possible. “Like a little brother.”

Jet is not deterred, leaning closer to her, his hand just brushing her elbow. “I feel bad about how things ended between us,” he says softly. “I should’ve done better by you.” Katara is momentarily stunned. Is she actually getting a sincere apology? “Which is why I think we should go to the wedding together. I just want to be there for you.”

It’s like a bucket of cold water down her spine, dousing both the fire of her anger and the tiny kindling warmth in her stomach. Katara pulls her shoulders back, straightening her spine, and snaps, “I already have someone to be there for me.”

Jet blinks and rears back a little. “Alright. I’ll, uh. Be looking forward to meeting them then.”

As he slinks away, she feels a moment of deep satisfaction. Only to nearly aspirate her sip of wine as she realizes she has officially painted herself into a corner. Zuko is coming to this wedding.

Thank you! If anyone wants to send me a line or prompt (from this list or your brain) I'll keep it going!

[themculibrary]

LGBTQ+ Characters Masterlist

Links Last Checked: August 31st, 2024

part two, part three

5 Times Peter Parker Almost Came Out to the Avengers (ao3) - Babereflective T, 12k bisexual!peter

Summary: (And the One Time He Did)

Peter Parker had a secret. No matter how badly he wanted to share it, he couldn’t, he knew he couldn’t. Deep down he knew it wasn’t a big deal, but it was. It was a huge deal, and sometimes he thought he would never tell anyone how he really felt. You see, Peter Parker was a bi disaster. He told himself that he wasn’t the type of boy to stare at cute strangers too long or smile at the thought of a school yard crush, but oh boy he was. But nobody could know that. Well, nobody except Ned and MJ.

All The Young Graves Filled (ao3) - CryptoHomoRocker steve/sam, bucky/natasha T, 6k transgender!natasha

Summary: "There are things you can forget and things that are a part of you, and she knows which one this is."

Natasha is outed as transgender.

another way to fly (ao3) - newsbypostcard steve/sam E, 8k bisexual!sam

Summary: Maybe that's why it hurt so goddamn much, being in love with Steve Rogers: knowing that this was another one he probably wouldn't be able to save.

(Or: feelings are complicated and nothing makes sense, but the one thing Sam knows for sure is that he's definitely in love with the bastard, even when he doesn't fucking like him very much.)

A Soft Blur (ao3) - agetwellcard steve/bucky E, 28k bisexual!steve, gay!bucky

Summary: After recovering from his time in the army, Bucky is a successful photographer who is trying to forget his past. Two weeks after Steve's return, he accidentally spills his champagne on Bucky at a charity event. It brings them together at a time when the two of them need each other the most.

Aunt Patty (ao3) - baloobird peter/ned G, 6k asexual!peter+biromantic!peter, bisexual!ned

Summary: One of Ned's judgmental relatives, his great Aunt Patty, is coming over for dinner so Ned has his boyfriend, Peter, stick around in the hopes that she won't ask him any embarrassing or offensive questions.

Too bad that doesn't work.

Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen (ao3) - Laura JV (laurajv) steve/bucky E, 7k bisexual!bucky

Summary: Bucky Barnes and the Great Sexuality Crisis of 1938.

Clint Barton Never Actually Came Out (ao3) - On_Every_Spectrum clint/phil, clint/bobbi G, 3k gay!phil, transgender!clint+queer!clint

Summary: “Clint Barton never actually came out. He’s always just been Clint. And, somehow that led him here.”

Clouds (ao3) - SailorChibis steve/tony, bucky/tony T, 9k asexual!tony, bisexual!bucky, bisexual!steve, aromantic!natasha

Summary: Being asexual, trying to handle university, and navigating his first relationship was hard enough for Tony.

Finding out his boyfriend was cheating on him didn’t help. The sweet guy helping to put his heart back together did.

Fate Will Play Us Out (ao3) - steveandbucky steve/bucky E, 30k bisexual!steve, gay!bucky

Summary: Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

fed up with hunger (ao3) - frankoceansmoonriver steve/bucky N/R, 10k bisexual!steve, gay!bucky

Summary: “What do you wanna talk about? How I’m gonna have to marry some girl with perfect ringlets and you’re gonna marry some girl who’s smarter than both of us combined, and you’ll be right to? What is there to talk about? Quit being a dumbass and just go to sleep.” He says it so matter of fact. He says it like none of it bothers him. Steve sighs. “Nobody is gonna marry me,” Steve says softly. He lays back down and goes to sleep. In the morning, Bucky doesn’t mention it and neither does Steve. They go back to not talking about it. Maybe they never will.

Or, the one where it's 1939 and sometimes Steve thinks that having is worse than wanting.

I'm not your friend (you think that you're the man) (ao3) - Gypsywoman13 sam/bucky E, 8k bisexual!bucky, bisexual!sam

Summary: When Sam and Bucky are required to go to therapy, they find that the tension between them isn't as cut and dry as they had first thought.

i've got you, always (ao3) - cautionaryjanis harley/peter T, 9k gay!harley, gay!peter

Summary: When Peter's class is granted a field trip to Stark Industries, he thinks he might just die of embarrassment. However, the Avengers and Peter's boyfriend, Harley, know there's a different Peter in there somewhere, and so they prepare in accordance. Shenanigans ensue.

or, the overused field trip trope, but where the Avengers are all aware of Peter's anxiety issues and know to give him time before he decides he's comfortable

Love Bites (ao3) - Assido_Mina mj/peter E, 40k bisexual!mj, bisexual!peter

Summary: Peter Parker and Michelle Jones are both very smart people, one could venture to say two of the smartest people in the entire school. But alcohol makes fools of us all, and they are no exception. But one drunken mistake can remain just that, one mistake. Once it turns into another, then another, you may have to come to terms with the fact that you're running out of other things to blame. Not that they'll ever listen.

Peter and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Field Trip (ao3) - cazei G, 1k transgender!peter

Summary: Peter has conquered dysphoria, his parent’s and Ben’s deaths. He’s had a building fall on him, and he battled half of the Avengers in Germany. Now, of course, that’s settled, and everything is good, but the point still stands.

Why the hell is Peter so scared of a field trip?

-

AKA, Peter's class goes on a field trip to Stark Tower. Peter worries about being spotlighted since his class knows of his now-real internship.

roads left in both of our shoes (ao3) - shadowen clint/Phil T, 13k transgender!clint

Summary: Right from the beginning, Clint Barton was a source of complications and headaches.

The Mating Habits of the Modern Falcon: A Field Guide (ao3) - chicklette sam/bucky E, 48k bisexual!sam, bisexual!steve

Summary: Samuel Wilson has his shit together.

Not in this fic though. In this fic, Sam has a roommate (Steve), a fuck-buddy (Bucky), a full class load (and some student loans), an internship at the VA, a tense relationship with his sister, and no idea what he's doing.

But he's working on it.

Transforming Truths into Lies and Truths into Truths (ao3) - coffee_mage N/R, 7k transgender!clint

Summary: Francis Barton was born into abject poverty and abuse, one step from being on the streets. It never occurred to him that he was a girl until his foster mother put him in a dress.

Francis Barton ran away with Barney, then Clint Barton joined the circus with his brother and learned to shoot a bow.

Clint F. Barton became an assassin and got tracked down by SHIELD where he learned he was so stealth that not even a shadowy government agency could tell how he'd been born anymore.

Unexpected Houseguest (ao3) - faeryn sam/bucky M, 20k bisexual!bucky, bisexual!sam

Summary: When Sam comes across Bucky in the strangest of places, his first instincts are to run, and to call Steve. He does neither, and in doing so manages to form a strange bond with the Soviet assassin who once tried to kill him. Bucky is broken, a shell of his former self, and Sam wants nothing more than to help return him to himself. But can he maintain a respectable and responsible distance from the man, despite how Bucky draws him in, in order to help him? Or will he falter, and shatter all the progress he has made by giving in to his own desires?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Surveys #447-448

(one from yesterday, one from v early this morning)

How did you and the last person you kissed start talking? By both being meerkat RPers on YT back in the day. Do you think someone is falling in love with you? Definitely not. Do you have a bad temper? Nah. What was the last song you listened to? SOBS "Suteki Da Ne" from FFX. If your mom was a teacher, would you want to be in her class? Hell yeah. She actually has been my substitute teacher before, as she worked at my elementary school with the special ed kids. Are you comfortable with people going through your phone? No. I have nothing to hide on there at all, but still... I just don't like it. Do you really care about what toothpaste you use? So long as it's mint-flavored, no, I don't care. Would you like it if the whole world spoke one language? I mean, I think it's pretty inarguable that that would be a beneficial thing. For all humans to understand each other, like in dire situations where information needs to be brought across. However, I don't believe we should actually try to change that now with so many languages already developed. That would be way, way too big a task and not that important. Would mind-reading really be a blessing or a curse? I'd find it more to be a curse. Would you ever get a pet turtle? Why or why not? Nah. They just don't interest me as pets. Do you tend to daydream a lot? If so, about what? Yeah. .-. About a lot of stuff... How I want my future to be, things I wish would happen, how I'd change past errors... What shop/store/brand would you model for, if given the choice? I would 110% model for Cloak if for whatever miraculous reason they wanted me to because a bitch supports her favorite human asdkfajkwle. I'd totally do some goth modelling for Rebel's Market, too. Do you actually read your friend’s surveys, or do you just copy and paste them and fill them out yourself? I read my friends' answers, yes. I like learning obscure things about them. Which is your favorite episode of I Love Lucy? Bar none, the "Vitameatavegamin" one. It's fucking hilarious, man. I love that show. Do you consider yourself a deep thinker? WAY too deep. Name two people who you are closest with? My mom and Sara. Which one of those two people would you eat first, if you were starving? Neither. I would absolutely rather die. No one cares whether or not you believe in love at first sight… but, do you believe in hate at first sight? Well, let's be real. If you witnessed someone being abused or raped or something like that, wouldn't YOU hate the villain immediately? I sure as hell would. When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite? I didn't care for those. How do you feel about fake plants? They can look good, they can look tacky, and they make great additions to some animal enclosures, like reptiles and bugs, for cover and new textures. Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you your shoe size? Er, no? Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it? Yes. I tend to have a guilty conscience. Are you happy with your weight? NO. Do you go to church? If so, do you actually pay attention? No. When I was forced to go as a kid, I never paid attention. As a very young adult when I super rarely went, I would try to, but my attention definitely wavered. Would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced? Tongue, if it just didn't damage my damn teeth. :( I miss my snake eyes. Ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? It's very embarrassing, but yes. A few years ago, I had this very strange period of premature incontinence when I slept. I had to be put on some medication and a schedule to wake up in the night to use the bathroom. It oddly just... vanished as randomly as it started. Had any surgeries? What kind? I had tubes put in my ears as a baby, and then at the start of 2017 (I think), I had to have a cyst removed from my butt. :^) Ever told your parents you hated them? I've told Dad that, yes. Are you sober? Yeah. Do you have a crazy side? Not really, no. I'm boring. Do you have siblings over the age of 18? All of my siblings are. Do you think that downloading music illegally is immoral? Yes, and yet... I do it anyway. :x Have you ever sworn at a policeman/woman/cop? No. How far do you agree that the mother is more important in a child’s life than the father? I Don't agree with that. Would you ever let one of your children enter a beauty pageant? If they were old enough to make their own decisions, I'd have no say. But as a little kid, no. I do not support those damn things. What was your favorite Pokemon as a child? Charmander! :') Do you have a favorite name? What is it? Alessandra. It's so beautiful. What was the topic of the last assignment/essay you wrote? Toxic masculinity. I got SO into that essay. What’s your favorite type of juice? Probably peach mango. What was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn? LATIN. Like holy shit. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. What would you do if your ex contacted you? I would just be... so happy. But also scared of where it would lead. What age would you like to have a child? No age, because I never want any. Are your parents wealthy? Definitely not. My dad SEEMS decently well-off, but he is most certainly not rich. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. Your ex tells you they want you back, what do you say/do? I know I'd say yes, very quickly. -_- Do you know anyone that smokes weed? More like she's addicted to it. Is there one person you look at and automatically smile? Oh, that's Mark for sure, ha ha. Especially if he's laughing. It's game over for me if he's laughing. What’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy? Don't even fucking @ me, I love the emo hair swoop alskdfjalkwje;kjrwklejarwe Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? Roman. What have you been up to today? Anything interesting? The only thing I've done today that deviates from my normal routine is I had to get blood drawn for some tests for my upcoming check-up. I don't know what was up with that needle, but it hurt this time. Are you the type of person to dwell on the past? I live there. Did your grandparents teach you anything? Not really, no... besides being old-fashioned is not an excuse for being an uptight... er... this answer is so mean, given the grandmother I'm talking about is dead, oof. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? I wanted one... but I don't have one and never will. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're mega cute. Who do you think about most constantly? Why? Anyone who reads these can answer that very, very easily. Have you ever considered yourself to be something other than heterosexual? Yeah; I'm either bi or pan. I think pansexual as of very recently, but for simplicity's sake and also for almost all of my family to not think I'm crazy, I really just say bisexual. Have you ever been in love? With who? Yes; Jason and Sara. Dolphins, whales, sharks, or narwhals? Dolphins or whales. Have you ever gotten anything amputated? No. Have you ever tied your tooth to a door to lose it? No. What do you do on the computer? Oh jeez... I'm pretty much, well, always on the computer, so I do a whole lot. I watch/listen to YouTube, write, clean out my dA notifications and browse artwork, scroll through Facebook, play World of Warcraft, edit the Silent Hill wiki, do way too many surveys, talk to Sara on Discord... Anything your parents should know about? No. Do you have a life? It sure as hell doesn't feel like it. I do nothing noteworthy. Do you have a microphone on your computer? It's built-in, but it doesn't work. Does your mouse light up? Yeah; red normally, blue when it's charging. Then it's also purple sometimes??? I have no idea what it means. Were you ever physically abused? No. Verbally? No. Sexually? No. Do your teachers like you? Not to brag or anything, but all my teachers loved me. Do your parents like you? I know they love me. Do your siblings like you? I don't feel like they do half the time. :/ It's my own fault for not knowing how the fuck to interact with them. Did you have a tail when you were born? At first I saw this question and was confused as shit, but then I remembered this was actually a thing, ha ha. But no, I wasn't. Do you enjoy school? I hated it. Are you shallow? No. Greedy? I don't think so, no. It feels good to share. Do you have a piercing in an inappropriate spot on your body? No. A tattoo? Well, I have a tattoo over my heart, so it's on my breast, if you wanna count that? Are you stubborn? God, am I. Are you incestuous? Fuck no. Do you respect your body? Meh... Yes in some ways, in other ways no. Have you ever been to therapy? Did you like it? I've been in therapy for most of my life, and yes, I find it helpful. Have you ever used Duolingo to learn another language? No. Are you unhappy at the moment? Yes. I usually am. Do you have any gay friends? Yes. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I used to enjoy it. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Dory. What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? This survey, actually. It's how I format it and save my progress. What did you last take painkillers for? A headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Drawing. :/ Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yeah; when Sara and I were together and I went up to visit her, we had a breakfast date once. :') Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? Yeah. I hold a lot of nostalgia in many items. What sort of games do you like to play? Horror and fantasy, mainly. They need a story, too, and I ESPECIALLY enjoy games with multiple endings. Then I also play WoW, which is an MMORPG. Do you know anyone who is deaf? No. Have you ever been married? Nope. What is your favorite thing to dip fries in? Ketchup. Do you still talk to anyone you went to high school with? Just Girt, really. Have you ever had to dispute a charge on your credit card? I've never had my own credit card. Quick! Choose pink or purple. Pink, duh. What's your favorite book genre? Fantasy. Would you say you’re generally fit and healthy? Why/why not? No. :/ I'm trying to change that though by going to the gym. Would you ever want a job working with animals? My main aspiration is to be a wildlife photographer, if that counts? Sara also wants to be a ball python breeder, and we talk all the time about it and how I'd love to be like an assistant and help with my own future snakes. Most recently, I will definitely have to have experience with them as pets first and see if I can handle it, but I've considered breeding tarantulas on the side. The hobby could ALWAYS use more breeders to prevent wild-caught specimens being taken from the wild, and it would help lower their prices. I've gotten so passionate about those furry bastards that I would really enjoy helping out with that. Do you believe in your horoscope? Even if you don’t, do you still read it? Not at all. I don't, because it feels like a waste of time if I don't even believe in it. If a couple is married, do you think there should be any legal punishment if one person cheats? No... I am firmly against cheating, but that sounds extreme. Do you enjoy Tim Burton films? Which one is your favorite? Of course! My favorite is Corpse Bride.

-------

Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? It was for fun. Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush(es) assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? No, honestly. He really doesn't like seeing people not pursuing their utmost potential, and, uhhhh, look at me, lol. I'm in no way good enough for that god of a human being lmao. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I still have them. I only have two, and my mouth has enough room for them. Do you wish you were taller or shorter? My height's fine. Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? Food Lion. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. I quit way too early for that to ever happen. .-. What poster is hanging closest to you? My big Metallica one. Which cuisine do you like the least? I honestly haven't experimented enough with foreign foods to decide on one specific cuisine I really don't like as a whole. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? There are A LOT. I am very, very sensitive to textures. Which type of chocolate do you like best? Milk chocolate. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Absolutely. Well, obviously not my snake Venus, but Roman? Yes. This is his house, too, and he deserves a comfy space to sleep. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? I don't have one. Have you ever made sun tea? I have no idea what that is. Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? I don't like coffee. Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yes. Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? Now here's a question I haven't heard before, ha ha. I actually think that would be quite interesting and certainly empowering to women. Do you like to go to the movies alone? I actually did that for the Warcraft movie, and it was pretty chill. I prefer going with others, though. Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? No. What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? Probably my Pyramid Head/Halo of the Sun drawing. I worked my ass off on that, and I love how it came out. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I don't use those specifically, no. Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? No. If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? I haven't really thought of this, but I know I want them to be scattered somewhere. I don't wanna be cremated and have no lineage to cherish the ashes so I just end up thrown away or scattered in someone's backyard or something like that. I guess the desert would be pretty cool, if it was one with meerkats. Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? No. I have mixed feelings on taxidermy, but doing that to your pet just... seems wrong somehow. Like I feel that there'd be an unhealthy attachment to a dead body, and it feels like you're not allowing your beloved pet to truly, fully rest. Even if there is nothing beyond death, it's just a respect thing to me. Would you ever have a pet cremated? Teddy was cremated, yes. I WANTED to cremate my first ball python and Chinese water dragon, and both were in the freezer for a long time, but it just... never happened. It's not cheap. Mom also had Cali (her dog) cremated, but didn't keep the ashes herself because of it, once again, being expensive. Personal cremation costs more than a group one. Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? Nah. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Collect anything? Any and all meerkat stuff and Silent Hill merchandise. Can you stick your fist in your mouth? ... I'm not about to try that. When was the last time you were high on anything? Never. Ever had a bloody nose? Yes. Have you ever caught a fish? Yes. Ever been up a mountain? Ugh, I wish! What are you listening to right now? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Do you have any birthmarks? Yeah; it's on my right forearm, near the elbow. Have you ever been slapped? I've been spanked and slapped on the arm by my mother when I was younger. And sometimes not so young. What do you want pierced? My collarbones, nostril, way more in my ears, and possibly my back dimples if I shrink down to a size where you can actually SEE them clearly... Do you like taking pictures? Of nature and animals. Sometimes people. Do you like getting your picture taken? Hell no. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you have your own pool? No. What do you want a tattoo of? You're asking someone who wants to be COVERED in tats, ha ha. I have a billion ideas. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Nah. Have you ever been chased by cops? No. Do you ever wear shirts do show your belly? OH FUCK NO. What about cleavage? I wear tank tops more than anything, so some. What theme does your room have? It doesn't have one. Do you like cows? Awwww, I love cows. :') <3 Which slow animal is your favorite? Sloth, turtle, or snail? Turtles aren't that slow; it's tortoises you're thinking about, so I'll consider them instead. Regardless, I think I find snails the cutest. If you had to create an app, what would it be for? I have zero clue. What is one television finale where you were upset with how it ended? I don't know. Other than mandatory lockdowns, have you had to quarantine at all for CoVid? No. What steps would you take in order to track down a thief? ... Not many, tbh, given JUST how afraid of confrontation I am, ha ha. What is something that one of your family member collects? Dad collects Cleveland Browns and Carolina Hurricanes sports stuff. What are some questions that you would ask your favorite celebrity? I've... never thought of this, believe it or not. I'd be too busy blubbering about how important he is to me and thanking him for everything he's ever done alskdjfkla;wje Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes. That was very, very rare, though. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? If there was a 1% chance of half an inch of snow. :^) Everyone flips their shit here when that happens. Also, hurricanes. What types of transportation do you think we will see in the future? Besides possibly flying cars, idk. Which freaks you out more - clowns or porcelain dolls? aklsdjflajdsALSKDFJA;LWJE D O L L S. Porcelain dolls creep me out, man. Do you like salami? Yeah. Do you know your mum's first pet's name? I actually don't, no. Do you like car racing? No. I think it's stupid, honestly. People can get and have gotten seriously hurt, or worse. Who hugs you the most often? My niece and nephew, probably. Has your favorite actor ever been stuck to a project you dreaded watching (e.g., stuck on a bad TV show for years)? No. When you were a child did you wish you were named something else? What sort of fantasy life did you imagine for yourself if you’d only had this other better name? Bro I shit you not, I wanted to change my name to "Dory" because of Finding Nemo, lmao. I never thought about how my life would be different, though. Are you a plant person? How do you feel about the trend of owning many, many houseplants? Nah, plant maintenance isn't for me. I don't care how many plants you own so long as you care for them. It seems pointless to buy plants and just neglect them. What are you sick of hearing about? Anti-vax bullshit. Do you wish that you had more followers on any platform? Do you even pay attention to how many likes/comments/followers you have? The only places I really care about that are my photography Facebook page and deviantART because ffs I TRY to make progress as a photographer lasdkfj;lawe but neither move very fast at all. Are you currently working on an art project? No. :/ I need to draw something for once. If applicable, what color are you planning to dye your hair next? I have three in mind: lilac, pastel pink, or silver. Do you have a sibling who looks like your twin? No. My older and younger sister look remarkably similar, though. People have confused them a lot. Do you think you'd make a good actor or actress? God no, I'd feel far too awkward. Do you believe you have a lot of potential? Ugh, I don't know, dude. Would you like to be rich and own a vacation home? Who wouldn't? Have you ever walked through a labyrinth? No. What eyeshadow color do you think looks best on you? Black. I only wear black. Do you shop in the girls, juniors, or women's section at the store? Women's. Do you play video games? I haven't played a game other than WoW in a long time. :/ I only have a PS2 and Wii, and most of the games I want to play are for newer generation consoles. Is your house more than two stories tall? It's not even two stories. Have you ever had the flu? No. *knocks on wood* Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No. I want tons of tats, but that sure isn't one of 'em. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No. I'm one of those people that wants to eat right when I wake up. What four states in the USA would you most like to visit? Which four countries would you most like to visit? States: Alaska, Utah, Wyoming, and some southwestern state where I can visit the desert and maybe see wild tarantulas. Countries: South Africa, Germany, Canada, and uhhhh idk. Would it bother you if your boyfriend hugged other females (think hypothetically if you don’t have one)? Why or why not? No? Hugs can just be a friendly gesture. They don't have to have underlying romantic implications. If you had snow-days as a kid, how did you spend them? Do you like the snow, in general? Oh man, snowy days were the epitome of joy when I was a kid. The #1 thing I wanted to do was make a snowman with Dad and my sisters if the snow was the right texture to pack. We loved snowball fights, making snow angels, watching the cats play... and you CAN'T forget making sugary snow cream. Do you know anyone who does hard drugs? Would you ever befriend someone that did? No one that does hard drugs now, no. I honestly don't know how I'd respond to wanting to befriend a hardcore druggie... Like I'm totally aware drug addicts are not innately bad people, but it can be dangerous to associate with them. So idk. Do hospitals make you nervous? Why or why not? Do you have any bad hospital experiences? Yes. I do NOT like being in hospitals. I've never been treated badly in one or anything, but I just have way, way too many ER memories from being suicidal and just stripped of everything that could somehow be interpreted as a "danger." Even books had to be approved. Technology of all kinds, forbidden. All I did was sleep on that godawful bed and wish I was dead. But I'm rambling; point is, I really don't like any health care establishment just because of negative memories. Do you still talk to the first person you ever dated? If not, would you want to? Why or why not? No. We just don't. I wouldn't be opposed to knowing what he's up to. What do you like most about your favorite animal? Their loyalty and bravery are purely astonishing. Do you need a job? Yes. I'm a leech in my house. I serve no financial purpose to assist my mom in paying bills and all of that. I'm a full-grown adult that should be benefiting humanity. Who do you love the most in your life? My mom, cat, and best friend probably top the list. What is your mom doing right now? I hope she's asleep, but she tends to sleep very badly and is frequently tossing and turning around this time. Where does she work? She's on disability. For the type of cancer she had, she automatically got it with her diagnosis. It's recently been a year since her last chemo session, but let me tell you from witnessing it: It takes A LOT out of you. It was actually torturous for her. She's still regaining her strength and healing before she can wisely get another job. Do you have Netflix? Yeah. What was the last thing you quit doing? I don't know. Have you ever read a book that changed your life? No. Who did you last talk to before you went to bed last night? Sara, if through text counts. Have you ever taken Xanax before? Yes; I was prescribed it for quite a while. Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? Try both, buddy.

[pinktatertots99]

🔥 Feelings on the canon ships of Homestuck?

Send Me a 🔥+ a Topic, and I’ll Tell You My Honest Opinion About It

god am i gonna need to go with the sequals too? just og or all ships that’re considered canon by the end? whatever i’ll just go in order in what might be the ‘canon’ ships from all three of these categories. this is gonna be fucking long so anything and everything is under the cut. also i’m SO not gonna add hiveswap that can be its own separate ask. so:

roxygen: it’s a cute ship...but the sequal vers is garbage considering how inconsiderate roxy is to john’s feelings and his house burning down like damn rox this is the guy who sat with ya as ya mourned doom rose’s death give the guy some fuckin time himself.

rosemary: also cute ship...sequal versions are fuckin godawful tho. their barely a thing in meat from wha i can gather and then there’s candy...oh CANDY kanaya deserves better fuck this sense of her sayin she’s over it idc if it was off screen, even then half the cast ate stupid pills during that time so WHY must i be surprised that this is wha happens?

dave/kat: i dun like it. in either universe. meat is just perfect gay bois who have occasional deep talks and literally do nothing else while candy they split up thanks to jade which, geez ya guys must’ve been shit to tell her to fuck off like come on. og hs wise i barely consider them canon if we only get pictures and them just being on equal footing on quadrant talk. not to mention dave implied to be crushing on jade and JOHN not karkat, idk where this couple even came from other then love triangle situation with terezi but like, that’s barely much of a reason to become canon. i’d go with em bein pale/moirails more.

jadedave: i’m guessing candy and meat i thought meat implied they were dating but may aswell. so....it sucks but thats because candy and meat suck, meat dave’s basically cheating on her i didnt hear any implication they broke up and she’s like...chill??? and then there’s candy where she literally forced him and kar to break up and dated after dirk apparently died, i do not like the implications of this whole thing. course candy dave is dead and a robot now so...anyways canon wise dave had a crush on her and if jade does like him i’d hope it’s not cause of davesprite cause despite both being dave’s they were different. it’s cute otherwise.

davepetajade: it’s...cute? i guess? idk i kinda found davepeta a bit...idk overwhelmingly overrated? like i know where their popularity came from but readin the series now after all that hype i dont really see it anyways tho it’s basically davespritejade with nepeta in the mix. and idk nothin implied much of nepeta liking jade, or talkin to her much. and davepetasprite is a mesh of both so idk. it’s a ship with cute fanon works of em hanging with outfits but that’s bout it.

janejake: i hate it. legit. this is disgusting and completely throws out jane’s character. like even in the fixed timeline the talk she had with dirk probably still happened on the god bed’s and how she acknowledged wha she thought was wrong on wantin jake’s kids and so on trickster still happened and how she also realized she might’ve overhyped jake. but lets throw it ALL out the window to force jake in an unhappy marriage in both universes and possibly force him to stay in candy due to having tavvy if i’m reading the implications right. even then jake isn’t good for jane either both got their own needs this ship would’ve been sunked in canon and WAS but the sequals are beyond it so maybe that explains it but it disgusts me.

roseterezi: guess in meat specifically. yeah i kinda dont...care for it, like i still cant tell if rose and kanaya broke up or if she just fucked off without breaking up either one is fucked up on kan’s behalf. even then i just dont care for their kismesis it got brought up once and that was it.

jaderose: candy wise i guess even tho it was a fling. it disgusts me still mostly because of kan’s behalf on bein fucked over and both goin through a ‘surrogation’ process without her notice. like fuck this shit the jaderose fans deserve better.

roxycallie: idk if this one’s canon but it’s heavily implied callie lives with roxy least in candy. it’s cute, cant deny it even in og it was pretty cute, dont really care for candy vers tho but then again maybe their not a couple in it idk what’s canon couples anymore.

johnterezi: literally fucked in meat universe and john has kismesis feelings for her in canon. it’s...interesting, idk tho i feel like it’s one sided on john’s side.

ms paint/spade slick: i cant deny it’s cute, he’d least know how to treat a lady but god i’d hope it wouldnt be his only defining trait with her. also want ms paint to call his bullshit out pls and thanks.

dirkjake: honestly i cant tell if their STILL canon in og or not god forbid the sequals. in general though...i dont. i honestly dont really like em together much. they seem like the type to least stay friends but idk bout another relationship would be a good idea for em. maybe later down the line but otherwise canon wise they need a break.

and now for the canon one timer ships this involves any ships implied, uncomfirmed, ex-relationships, crushes, etc:

arasol: it’s cute, best ship. their quadrant was never confirmed but regardless their cute. sol tho in the sequals deserved better then to get abandoned by aradia goddamn.

fefsol: also cute, i live for both of em bein ass’s together.

erisol: oh boi this one...this was...yeah i cant even deny they wouldnt be too healthy, i like lookin at fanon ways tho for em. canon wise tho yeaaaah no these guys definietly wouldnt work.

gamtav: it’s...cute but boi gamzee needs some help i think.

gamsol: -sollux did imply he either wanted a kismesis or matesprit with him in one of the flashes- again same as gamtav.

aradia/equius: BIG NOPE nope nope nope equi that’s weird wha ya did never do it again thank fuck aradia hasnt been around him since.

karterezi: their actually kinda cute, looking back on em they could’ve worked. stupid doomed timeline bullshit.

daverezi: also kinda cute, idk tho if i got flushed for em tho i get more pale vibes but it was semi-a thing.

kanvris: it’s baaaaad kanaya deserves much better and vriska never seemed much the type for cementing into a relationship.

vristav: even worse, like i’d like to thank fuck tav one up-ed her in the end cause fuck wha he had to go through.

karmeenah: it...could be cute? maybe? only iffy part is the ages, i thought the dancestors were like sixteen tho since the kids said they were teenagers even tho they were at the time about fourteen? idk tho if eighteen is considered an adult in alternia or not tho it’s kinda implied to be? anyways tho it’s just off puttin maybe a bit tho.

meenahvris: it’s kinda cute, it was atleast, idk lookin back it does feel more unhealthy.

rufidama: baaaaaad i love rufi but he’s got some bullshit he needs worked out and damara deserves someone better.

rufihorr: just as bad as above, both deserve someone better or atleast horrus does with some therapy on it rufioh i think should just chill on relationships but it’s so obvious their not meant to be.

mitula: it’s cuuuuuute i cant deny it, ...okay fanon vers is canon is barely anything and tula does give more pale implications for tuna but with how protective she was over damara near him it’s sweet, but god do i wish canon tuna gave more feelings for tula.

kantula: it’s...creepy. like it’s so obvious the vantas bois cant communicate well but kankri’s crush feels almost pressuring on tula when he kept goin about them and goin “oh but we’re totally friends and i’m celibate so it’s okay its whatevs” like kan go to a corner give tula some air to breath.

crotuna: BIG NOPE cronus needs to learn fuckin boundaries thirsty fish bastard.

should i even add cro//eri due to the fact he literally asked an eridan out? regardless gross, ew, no, i’ll take the fanon ampora brothers anyday canon i didnt fuckin need that thx.

porrnea: it was implied to be more of a fling. idk considerin aranea’s track record i cant really say i’d trust her in many flushed quads. and porrim seems the type to have hers open and not a closed off thing so idk they got different cases.

aranea/jake: i cant deny it’s fuckin cute, i’d would’ve loved if they tried to do somethin but aranea was definietly uhhh not a good choice for jake. least she backed off when he didnt wanna be kissed but man yeah, it was cute while it lasted.

kurmeu: i cant deny the idea kur forced himself quiet due to hurting meu hurts me in a sweet way but as of rn them bein ‘pale’ and him mind controllin her when we dunno if she’s alright with this or not is...disturbing.

vristerezi: i am HIGHLY doubtful this is canon considering everything but i guess i gotta cement this. i dont see em as canon in og or sequal wise since vris is still gone in both, even then i dont like, see it, i see it but idk man i like em more pale then pail.

erifef: honestly no. both are much too different for a relationship, kinda glad they uh...got cut short cause honestly even their moirailship wasnt healthy what’s to say a matespritship would? on BOTH sides mind you.

rosejohn: thank karkat’s shipping board. anyways, i think their cute cause fuck it rose is a bi-con to me, canon wise probably wouldnt work but i’ll take fanon.

vriseri: kinda glad they got cut short of their kismesis cause boi eridan deserves a better one with how shit vriska was in breaking up with him.

johnvris: it was cute, i cant deny i’m soft over how the two talked things about vriska’s life and john’s it’s just kinda cute. it’s obvious tho canon wise with wha john went through it wont work out. would’ve loved if they became moirails tho but o well canon is god i guess.

spadePM: i dont like much of their implications, would be an unhealthy relationship regardless considerin spade’s flushed and PM’s pitch, they deserve some therapy and other people.

dadbert/momlonde: their cute i like the implications of em, sad they died though, it was cute while it lasted.

meowrails: may aswell count moirails in this shipping mess. anyways their cute, they gimmie sibling vibes course equius early into it was so...not a good moirail.

kurtuna: i guess it might be cute moirails? idk tho with kurloz’s implications it concerns me.

gamkar: as moirails...karkat was fuckin shit at his job i cant sugarcoat it. i get where it’s from he’s not gam’s lusus and shouldn’t be forced to check on him during his time of gettin high and such, i get they were kids, but god gam kinda deserved a better moirail. and then later on in the series it gets more fucked up between kar gettin stabbed by him and both in a pretty unhealthy moirailationship to the fixed timeline where gamzee is just shut into a fridge and kar doesnt fuckin care, like dude, wow. gamzee was bad yeah but damn, harsh a tad.

terezigam: as a kismesis it’s almost disgustingly unhealthy to me and honestly terezi deserved better and gamzee maaaaybe shouldn’t get a kismesis, ever, unless he can sort his shit out -the sequals tho wont do that lol-

minorly gonna count johndave in this: idk if i can see john reciprocating for dave so dave’s crush on him almost kinda hurts, especially since fixed timeline dave’s john is well, dead and our john is probably still different from his john, has angst but man i kinda dont mind it as a one sides crush it’s nice confirmation of dave bein bi atleast.

nepetajasper/jasprose: i cant see it, it’s disturbing i guess. i like em more as friends but jasprose is probably more creepy bout it.

signless/diciple: i think considerin the implications they were fuckin adorable and deserved the best.

summoner/mindfang: it’s kinda sad considerin its implied mindfang’s love for him might’ve been one sided, they could’ve been cute tho.

orphanor/mindfang: probably sounded like the best kismesis’s until he murdered dolorosa.

dolorosa/mindfang: BIG NOPE i dun like the implications.

condence/orphaner: since it’s implied orphaner had a crush on her, gonna say tho big nope considerin condence is a bitch.

condence/lord english: its hard to decipher their relationship in canon, but to cover all my bases it’s big nope to me somethin bout it makes me uncomfy despite both bein bastards.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Half of Britain’s young people do not think of themselves as ‘100 per cent heterosexual’, a YouGov survey revealed this week.

Yet there remains a common lack of understanding about bisexual people, with some Britons still unfairly viewing them as the ‘black sheep’ of the LGBT community.

One factor may be the wide and confusing variety of different terms people now adopt – including ‘pansexual’, ‘fluid’ and ‘homosexible’.

But for many young people, sexuality no longer needs to fit into one of two or three definitions. Speaking to The Independent, six openly bisexual young people discuss their sexuality – and address the myths surrounding it.

I’d say I’m actually more pansexual, which means I can be attracted to all genders – if I like someone, it doesn’t matter if they’re trans, male-female, fluid or anything else. It just means I don’t judge anyone by their sexuality or gender, but I think that’s even harder for people to understand.

I was confident my close circle of friends would be supportive when I came out, but I wasn’t sure about my parents. I thought they’d just think I was confused, so it took me a while to admit it to them – and when I did, they thought I was joking.

Some people still can’t believe that I have a girlfriend, and they assume that I am a lesbian. Others say, “Oh, you’re just a bit greedy” when I try and explain it to them, but I’m not at all, I’m just open-minded. I do still wonder to myself about my sexuality and whether or not I’ve ‘gone off’ boys but I am just as much in love with Brad Pitt as I am with Angelina Jolie.

My sexuality doesn’t define me but it is certainly a part of who I am and I strongly think it should be talked about more in schools. There are people much younger than me trying to figure out what they are and what they want and it needs to be said aloud that all variations of sexuality are OK.

I did receive a bit of hostility when I split up with my ex-girlfriend. Some of the people who had been friendly with us and accepted me being with a woman couldn’t understand it when I started going out with a man. All of a sudden they were quite cold and it was almost like I wasn’t in the club anymore because I wasn’t lesbian or gay.

Sexuality is a broad spectrum. I don’t think it’s as simple as gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual – we’re complicated.

I know people struggle and get prejudice but I’d tell young people coming out as bi just to smile and let it go. They’ll hear the “it’s just a phase” thing but I’d just say: “You know what, maybe it is, but I’ll figure it out”. Life’s too short and love is just love, it doesn’t matter what that means.

Simone Webb, 22

Recent graduate, from Loughton, Essex

I realised I was bisexual at around 14 or 15. I was ‘out’ online a little bit before that, but it was a gradual thing rather than a lightning flash. I was worried about coming out because it felt awkward to bring up out of the blue. It didn’t feel like a big deal so raising it almost felt like making an issue out of it, but everyone was really accepting.

When I came out to my friends there was no one who was actively bi-phobic, but some people asked how I could know if I hadn’t had sexual experiences with both men and women. They’d say stuff quite loudly across the room and I found out people had been talking about it behind my back, but I had a relatively easy time compared to a lot of LGBT people.

I can’t remember the last time I saw a character on TV that was bisexual; you get characters that reject labels but very few who have the label of bisexual. There are very high-profile people who have come out as bisexual but bi-women especially get overlooked. Anna Faris is an actress who is openly bisexual but it isn’t really talked about, Angelina Jolie as well. These are high-profile people but if bi-women are married to or in a relationship with a man their bisexuality is erased.

I don’t think my bisexuality has affected my relationship hugely. I’m surprised the number of young people who identify as not 100% heterosexual is so high but I’m not surprised that more people are moving away from the idea of being attracted solely to one gender.

Liam [surname witheld]

Student in Canterbury, Kent

About two years ago I came out as bisexual; I’d just moved to university and being in a different environment I felt I could branch out and find out a bit more about myself.

I still haven’t come out to my family, but my friends have been overwhelmingly supportive.

I’ve had people say that I’m straight and looking for attention – it’s mostly gay people who say that – and that I’m gay and scared of coming out, which is mostly from straight people in my experience. It makes it hard to feel I belong anywhere.

People also tell me I’m greedy – that’s probably the most common one. I think it’s a problem with society as a whole in that when people deviate away from the “norm” it’s seen as weird. People just assume things because they don’t understand. I generally think people are becoming more open-minded towards sexuality though. I’ve got friends who I know for a fact if I’d spoken to them five or six years ago they’d have thought I was lying but now they accept that bisexuality exists.

If you spend 20 years as a straight person and everyone around you knows you as that, it’s hard to change that perception. I know that it would have been more difficult for me if I’d stayed in my home town and hadn’t had that chance to start somewhere afresh.

I haven’t had a boyfriend but I’ve had plenty of girlfriends and sexual encounters with both sexes. The only real relationships I’ve had have been with other bisexuals, which I count as quite lucky. Some prospective partners have been against the idea of bisexuality just because they see it as greediness. They worry that I’ll cheat because I’ve got a larger pool of resources, as it were. It’s not the case though. It’s prejudice and comes from an irrational place.

Women in particular get a bit of judgement in the gay community – it’s more often seen as just a phase. I’m quite lucky I haven’t had too many negative comments, but then I’ve surrounded myself with the right people.

It makes sense that the vast majority of people would not say that they are hetero-normative because I think people are now more able to label themselves how they please. It’s not as simple as “gay” and “straight”; there’s pansexual or a-sexual, and so many other ways to describe yourself. The internet makes it easier for people to learn about it and understand their sexuality better at a younger age.

Georgie Robbins, 25

Music journalist, from Somerset

I know I’ve been exceptionally lucky in the experience of my bisexuality – I haven’t faced any real prejudice at all. My parents were amazingly accepting and told me the only thing that mattered to them was that I was happy.

The only resistance I’ve ever had is convincing others that just because I may happen to be with a girl at one time, that’s not to say I only like girls. I get the impression that some people feel that bisexual relationships are somehow less serious than heterosexual ones because the gender of the person I’m in a relationship with might change.

I have wanted to explore my sexuality more but sometimes I feel like others don’t accept a fluid sexuality. People assume things and put me in a box.

I’m not surprised about the number of young people who identify as not 100 per cent straight. I think it stems from people coming to terms with ideas around mono-sexuality. Everyone is assumed mono-sexual based on how they act but sexuality isn’t like that.

I think attitudes are changing because people are talking about it more freely. What interests me is that not a lot of people use “bisexuality” as a term, they use labels like “fluid” or “queer”.

I think bisexuality as a label carries a lot of distrust because of stereotypes that come with it; there is this idea of it not being real. I think people are saying they don’t want a label because they may not feel ‘bi-sexual enough’ and because of the negative stereotypes.

[bran-who-writes-theoretically]

Julie and the Phantoms

~What I want~

-Y’all didn’t ask for this but guess what here are my thoughts anyway. They are based in nothing and are solely what I want. So here’s everything (I hope) in no particular order.

1. Let’s talk about Juke just to get it ~out of the way. TBH I cannot get around the age gap between Madison and Charlie. It’s so hard for me to see past it. I’m only a few months younger than Charlie and I literally could not imagine dating someone who was even in high school at all. I understand they wanted the guys to look the same age through the series so they had to cast older but.... eh. The only way I could really accept Juke would be if they kissed in the series finale just before the guys moved on. But really? I’d love to see them realize that they can’t be together because he’s dead. It would be SO interesting to see that, them having to stomp out the crush because it could only end in hurt for them both. I’d love to see them become super close/best friends. They have a connection, it just doesn’t have to be romantic. Also I’d really like to see her maybe end up with Flynn??? That would be so refreshing. You almost never see queer leads for kids shows and that would be awesome (P.S. even though it’s fine to ship Juke, even though I personally don’t, do NOTTTTTTTTT. I repeat NOT! Ship Madison and Charlie. I’ve seen other actors in older fandoms stop talking to each other because of fans shipping them. Please don’t do this to anyone. Remember he’s 21, and she’s 16).

2. Ghosts. They need to stay ghosts. Trust me, I want them to come back to life as much as y’all, but I don’t think there are any ways that they can bring them back that doesn’t feel like a cheat. Plus, I really really want the heartfelt goodbye from the guys in the last episode before they move on. What can I say? I love my bittersweet endings. Could you imagine the material they could give us? They could even bring Julies mom in to help the boys cross over.

3. I NEED to see more of the guys in the 90’s. I have a ton of questions. Some of which are: was Bobby always kinda to the side? How long was Luke gone? I want to see Reggie and Alex’s life. Who’s house was the studio at? (We can cross out Luke and Reggie, we’ve seen their houses/where they were.) but I have my own theory that it was Alex’s house before Julie’s family solely based on the reason that that’s why the guys were in there and why Alex lingers. But then that poses the reason why did his parents leave the house? Maybe because it was too hard to live there when they lived there with their son? But then that poses the question if they “forgave” him for being gay?

4. Reggie, I know he wasn’t intended to be, especially since I heard the “that was pretty hot!” scene was improvised, but I need him to be bi so bad. I am not sure I’m right, but I only have seen three (?) canonically bisexual characters on screen in my twenty years of life. And that’s Cheryl from Riverdale (😒) and my personal fav, Eleanor from The Good Place, and we also have a sprinkle of Korra in there. I literally cannot think of another. But lookie here! They’re all women, where are my bi guys (if you know any male bi characters? Send them my way👀). But seriously, Reggie has such potential to be great Bi rep! If I had seen a character like him I might have realized and accepted my sexuality way before I did. Because ironically I had a sexuality crisis at seventeen because a guy friend grabbed me by the shoulder and asked for my help not too different from Luke singing to Reggie lol!

5. Hollywood Ghost Club. I would really love to see more about it. I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on, Caleb most likely made a deal with the devil. But I’d love to see the guys and Julie help free all of the other trapped spirits he’s lured into the club. Also, on the topic of ghosts as a whole, I wonder if there’s any negative effects on a ghost staying non earth too long. It happens a lot in movies/books. They almost turn into a wraith, a darker version, only a shadow of themselves. I wonder if it applies here too.

6. Oh dang, CASPER. As per my previous posts as I was writing this, I was backhanded with memories of one of my favorite childhood movies, which I just recently watched again. Above I say maybe Julies mom could help them cross over. But remember how Luke promises to talk to Julies mom once they cross over? What if they do just that. A line that struck a chord while watching the movie was from the mother’s scene when she comes back: “let’s just say you know three crazy ghosts that kept their word.” And y’all, when she said that line not gonna lie I nearly cried thinking about that for the show. She also mentions that because her family loved her so much, she doesn’t have any unfinished business. I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t have any unfinished business either. Casper came out in.... you guessed it.... 1995. So I wouldn’t be surprised if they got some inspiration from it. Not to mention that it’s also a kids movie that has some pretty serious moments that kinda shocked me with how sad they were rewatching as an adult. I guess that’s why I loved it so much.

7. Carrie. I really want to learn more about Carrie and Julies dynamic. We know they were friends (I’m assuming with Flynn too?) and had a falling out. But why? And in the last episode she’s clearly proud of Julie after the performance, so I really want them to make up and have her be part of the group again. And maybe learn the truth about the guys?

8. Willie and Alex, god I want them to be together so bad. Of course, Caleb owns willies soul, so that’s not great, so I’d definitely love that subplot of the group trying to free the ghosts of the HGC. We didn’t see Willie too much this season, so I hope we do get more time with him. Also, I absolutely need a big musical number like Perfect Harmony between Alex and Willie. The only time I’ve ever seen a scene like that between gay characters has been in Rock of Ages (an adult musical) with “can’t fight this feeling” and it was hilarious and I need something like it for this show because it would be super cute 🥺.

9. Not particularly a theory but I’m really wondering how long Caleb is going to be in Nick. Julie has already stated that she’s kinda over him, and that it would be unfair to lead him on... so what happens when he realizes she probably won’t take the bait. Other than that, I really hope Sasha has fun playing Caleb through Nick, it has the potential to be great.

10. I’m not exactly sure what their unfinished business is going to be, but I’m almost certain it has to deal with Julie somehow. But the ending absolutely has to be the guys moving on. The ending has to be big though. They have to play somewhere awesome and then they find out... they’re done here. I’d honestly like a whole episode just dedicated to their goodbye. The way I see it, the second to last episode can end with them smiling after the performance and then that smile fading just a little bit, because that was when they realized. Then the final episode will be then telling Julie (and anyone else who knows about them by then) and finally moving on. Here I’m torn. I’ve mentioned both above but let me get more in depth. Version one: the one I originally came up with. This dealt with when the guys are ready to move on, Julies mom would come and help guide them into crossing over. I really liked this idea for a while, until I watched Casper again. Version two: the one I now like better(?) is the guys moving on, and after they do, Julies mom comes back (where even Ray and Carlos can see her) because “let’s just say you know three crazy ghosts who kept their word.” Could you IMAGINE??? It would absolutely reduce me to bawling I want it right now. The reason I like this one a little more is because we can skip to a little while after everything, and she gets a sign from them (just like her mom sending her the flower in the S1 finale) to show that they are still watching over her. And then we fade to black.

So that’s most of my thoughts on this show, if there’s typos in this I absolutely don’t care at all I wrote this instead of doing college work.

[uzuma-take]

I’m reposting this as I’ve gotten a lot of backlash from deleting it in the first place. And yes as much as you hate it I will be cross tagging Narusaku. I’m aloud to post what ever I like in what ever fandom I like so to quote Narusakuwatch ‘mind you own business.

For fuck sake y’all gonna complain again about another series ending??? All the internet seems to do since this stupid pandemic is complain about every little problem. They where not queer baiting simply because one character went I’m gay and I love you. It fucking happens in real life . People go “hey I kinda like you.” But get the reply “sorry mate I’m not gay”

From what I’ve seen Dean never confirmed wether he was gay. Meaning the ship is on sided on castiels side.

The fucking same with Lance and Keith . We still hearing about a big a catastrophe that was. get over it. Lance went home to be with his family something he’d been mentioning he wanted since the beginning.

But the fan bases don’t listen or watch the stupid shitting shows y’all think . Oh a slightly blushy scene they must fuck and get married. Well sorry honey but life doesn’t work that way. I had a major ship but it didn’t happen I was a bit saddened but I never bitched about it.

The other issue I see is people shipping abusive relationships. Narusaku for example or the canon ShikaTema . Both the males in those ships get the shot beaten out of them if they do so much as think the wrong way.

I have seen constant victim shaming if certain characters ie. Chloe Brennan from neighbours.

Her husband’s cheating on her but it’s her fault for being BI is the excuse lots of fans are using. So yes that is toxic but just because a one sided crush doesn’t get made into a full time thing don’t fucking moan and winge and bring a fandom down.

The level of toxicity on tumblr no No online the last almost eleven months (pandemic) has been shocking. Y’all so bored you can’t find anything else to say or do but bring past mistakes up . Ie Charlie D’milleo , if someone puts snails in your food and your not used to it then your gonna probably throw up.

Also Nobody and I mean nobody else got angry except the narusaku fans got upset that’s why I deleted it the first time. I’m just tired of butt hurt fans complaining about every ending of every series ruining my last memories of a show. I’m also tiered of people being so bored in lock down that they attack every little celebrity controversy like the world Is ending .