#oh I’m getting flashbacks my stomach hurts

[chaosinstigator]

how can you claim to love him when you keep fucking up his strategy HOW

[onlyswan]

summary: in which you make jungkook’s world spin and you tend to… make him a little too dizzy.

> idol!jungkook x reader / est. relationship, fluff, angst / word count: 7k

> content/warnings: yea shirtless jungkook should be a warning… one (1) spank then he kisses it better, also gives a kiss to that lil bow on oc’s undies >:( + a flashback of oc crying and him getting stressed out bcs oc is a careless brat fr

> in which masterlist!

note: hehe i’m here <3 this drabble is basically just oc in a mood and jungkook being the sweetest bf ever 🤨 idk how it got this long either heh it didn’t feel that way at all while i wrote-edited? but i hope u enjoy and i’d love to hear ur thoughts 🥺 reblogs/feedback are appreciated !! <3

—

“oh my god- fuck!”

you cover your mouth in shock, squeezing your eyes shut and flinching at the ear-splitting sound that bounces off the walls of the apartment.

jungkook is rendered frozen, eyebrows furrowed and jaw slacked, staring down at his shirt largely stained by the chocolate milk you were walking around with after brunch.

“damn…”

his eyes are irritable when they communicate with yours.

“baby! really? did it have to be the white one?”

but seconds later, they become worried and calculating — wandering all over the tiled floor, and then your bare feet infront of his slides-clad ones, surrounded by shattered pieces of ceramic.

the collateral damage. an unforeseen tragedy.

suffice to say, jungkook woke up this morning blissfully unaware of the turbulent storm threatening to make a playground out of your mind. it’s craving to feed destruction, and here he is living with you under the same roof, an unfortunate casualty from your antics.

the hand-painted mug, wet from the condensation, slipped away from your hands when you accidentally collided with his tough build at the intersection of the living room and the kitchen. this… wasn’t part of the plan. the plan was a little spill and this is a landslide.

“that was expensive too.” you utter wistfully, chest deflating as you release an exasperated breath. “sorry. i’ll clean up everything. just stay there and i’ll- when did i last see the broom-”

his doe eyes grow two times its size when you start looking around the apartment in search of the broom, and perhaps something you can use to pat yourself and jungkook dry, causing your feet to unconsciously shift on the treacherous ground.

“ba-baby! don’t move! you’re going to hurt yourself. are you crazy?” he interrupts you with a hiss, voice stern as his hands curl around your arms to hold you steady. “it’s okay. this is nothing, i’m not mad… just stay still, understand?”

you nod slowly as he lets go, eyebrows knitting together to convey confusion when he starts pulling his shirt over his head, revealing miles of bare skin and planes of defined muscles on a perfect silhouette. perfect because it’s jungkook.

alright… to see him half-naked wasn’t one of your intentions, but you’re definitely not one to complain.

“tsk, i think i need to shower again.”

figuring that the internet has a solution to every problem one could think of, jungkook has decided to accept the horror that has happened to his shirt. what was it again? salt? vinegar? baking soda? powder? fuck it, he’ll search for it later.

he throws caution to the wind by using it to wipe his damp torso, brushing it over his tan skin glistening with a sheen of the liquid that you wittingly spilled. he winces at the uncomfortable stickiness that could be felt across his stomach, but he can’t help but to laugh when he sees how it further accentuated his abs.

and if only you were in a chipper mood today, you would be laughing along with him. would’ve taken over cleaning him up, apologized with a kiss on his waist. too bad you’re not.

eventually, he gives up on erasing on the feeling, proceeding to fold the shirt in halves.

“what are you doing?” you snap, putting on a guise of harsher irritation over your dreamy stares at your boyfriend’s glorious physique. “are we just supposed to stand here forever like idiots?”

“what is this? why are you so grumpy today?” he questions with a frown, patting your cheek with the soft cottony fabric because the splash managed to reach your face unbeknownst to you.

and then he bends down to place the folded shirt infront of your feet, looking up to you with his galaxy-filled eyes to say, “here- come on. stand here while i clean up.”

you stand isolated on the safe zone he created, childishly pouting with your arms crossed over chest as you wait for him to pick up your slippers in the bedroom.

the simple answer to jungkook’s question is you’re bored and in a bad mood. the more complex answer would be you came up with a one-man game you can only win if you successfully piss your boyfriend off, but you’re too scared to pull off anything that will legitimately make him upset with you.

because the last time you made him angry, it hasn’t been… that long ago. he’s been keeping a closer eye on you since then, and you’ve been trying to be good. keyword being trying. after all, you did lost his car key… at a beach three hours away from home. you searched the entire shore — retraced your steps, made your knees and palms bleed digging through the rocky sand, curled up by the waves to wallow in self-blame and the smell of salt-air defeat. you were nearly in tears as you listened to the call ring for what felt like an eternity, unsure if he already wrapped up the company meeting he mentioned to you the day before.

you still remember the desperate words you greeted him with instead of ‘hello’.

“babe, promise me you won’t be mad.”

—

“____, you didn’t even tell me you were coming here! care to explain that to me first? huh?”

your name, and not ‘baby’? heavens above have mercy; you’re fucked.

jungkook presses the heels of his palms over his eyes to alleviate the dull throbbing of his head, breathing heavily to compose himself, but he can’t disguise the frustration deeply embedded in his voice.

“you scared me!”

not yelling, but tone evidently very upset with you. somehow, that makes you feel worse.

“i had to make up an excuse infront of everyone and drive here fast. i was so worried of you being here all alone when it gets dark!”

“it’s your car so i thought i had to let you know right away. i’m sorry.” you chew at your bottom lip anxiously, eyes brimming with tears as you barely muster up the courage to observe how he’s handling this.

your heart pounds louder in your chest when he finally looks down at you, guilty and gloomy, sat on a wooden bench painted yellow. it drops to your stomach when you see the sullen expression painting his face a light shade of red.

“where did you lose it?”

you open your mouth, but no words come out. you can only manage to point at the shore with your disoriented eyes, and he traces the direction with his. the majestic orange sky where the sun descends below the horizon fails to be recognized by your foggy, distracted minds.

it’s silent for a few beats, then he huffs, breathing out a sarcastic chuckle before burying his face in hands.

“baby, please. please. are you sure you’re not pranking me right now?”

“no! do you think i’d joke like this? i really tried my best to find it!” you sniffle, roughly wiping away the lone tear that escapes your eye. you’re almost too humiliated to continue talking, volume falling a few notches above a whisper. “but the waves were getting stronger.”

he vehemently shakes his head, rendered speechless and stuttering, malfunctioning. he doesn’t think he has ever imagined this type of scenario before. “this is crazy. really… this is unbelievable… how did this even happen?”

he exhales loudly before removing his hands, revealing a calmer exterior. be that as it may, his skin is more flushed, all the way to his ears and down to his neck, where his veins have become noticeably prominent.

“i mean, what else can we do about it? i’ll request for a new one.”

“but are we just going to leave the car here?”

“did you leave anything in there?”

“i left my bag, but…” you pat the pockets of your skirt to check if your valuables didn’t meet the same fate as the car key. “i brought my phone and wallet with me.”

he nods. “then i’ll call a towing service.”

you pout.

“it’s such a bother.”

feeling exhausted after burning a concerning amount of energy in search of the missing item, you stand on wobbly feet to loop your arms around his waist.

maybe it’s to coax him into forgiving you. maybe it’s to make yourself feel better, nuzzle your face on his chest to drive away the anxiety weighing on your shoulders. but as it’s being lifted off, so is the barrier withholding your salty tears.

“i’m so careless. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i should’ve drove my car instead.”

“ye- no, that’s not…” he cuts himself off with a sigh.

he puts an arm around you, pushing his hair back and repeatedly carding his fingers through it out of habit.

“seriously, baby… you stress me out so much, do you know that? you’re always wandering around places you’re not familiar with… this is secluded. it’s dangerous. you could get hurt if you bump into the wrong people… really, i’m just relieved it’s not yourself that you lost this time!”

the recollection of old flashbacks playing in his mind like a movie reel elicits a throaty chuckle from him, low and rough, the vibrations of his chest rudely awakening the butterflies in your stomach.

“you couldn’t even send me a text. you didn’t turn on your location. i would’ve lost my fucking mind again… did you even thought of that? or is that what you wanted, huh? baby? you enjoy driving me crazy like this?”

and the confession tucked inside his scolding obliterates any coherent thoughts in your head, causing you to lose control of your whirlwind of emotions.

“this isn’t fair. you said you won’t be mad.” you wail out in response, tears fiercely leaking from your eyes akin to a rainstorm. “i didn’t know this would happen!”

he clicks his tongue, gingerly caressing your wet cheeks with his thumb, then with the rest of his fingers, and the paw of his jacket, because the streams just seem to have no plans of ceasing. his wide eyes worriedly scans your tear-stained face, heart squeezed painfully by the restrained sobs forcefully ripping themselves from your throat.

“shhh, shh. don’t cry- don’t cry. i’m not mad, i was just worried about you.”

“jungkook, you’re lying.” you whine. “don’t lie to me. i don’t like it.”

he slowly blinks at you, head hanging low as to compose his thoughts before he reconnects with your eyes. a faint smile tugs at the corners of his lips before his tongue unconsciously sweeps over them, its tip catching the silver ring piercing through his skin to play with it.

a moment of silence, thick with restlessness and anticipation, harder to breathe with the unique smell of the salt-air entering and leaving your lungs.

you feel small under his stoic gaze. you want to sit back down and cry harder.

your boyfriend is mad. your boyfriend is infuriatingly hot even when he’s disappointed in you. you need to dig a hole in the sand and live there forever. after everything, these are the only thoughts left running in your head.

“okay, fine. you lost the key of our car in the ocean, ____. but what if someone already found it by chance?” he cocks his head to the side, briefly peering at the road behind you.

he knows that it’s no use. even if he does see the white jeep wheeling by, is he supposed to assume that he can outrun it by some heaven-granted miracle?

“what then? hm…? what else can we do? i guess it could be getting stolen right now and we don’t even know. you parked so far away.”

god, please, not your favorite car.

“it’s not only the car. i still have important documents left in the compartment too.” this only dawns on him now, judging by the look of distress written on his face. he suddenly slaps his thigh, and you flinch a little. “fuck! i should’ve cleaned sooner!”

“then you are mad.” you arrive at a conclusion, chin wobbling as you sniffle. “about a lot of things.”

you resist the urge to stomp your feet. you want to throw a tantrum so bad. tell him that he shouldn’t be keeping such things in the car in the first place, that he owns a safe for fuck’s sake, but you know you can’t get away with shifting the blame because you messed up horribly in comparison.

“i get it. i’m sorry… i take full responsibility this time.”

“shit, baby.” he deeply sighs.

it becomes quiet again. he just looks at your face with knitted eyebrows, not saying anything more, and you try your best to cut off your crying, not to act conscious, but your eyes still fall on the sand. they stay there for a few beats to avoid the intensity of his gaze.

he almost sounds pained when he finally speaks. “how can i stay mad at you when you’re crying?”

he tilts up your chin, and your glassy eyes, sparkling with a new wave of tears, look at him beseechingly.

the setting sun. an eternal witness to a brand new day of humans being humans. it kisses your skin with its golden light, bathing your figure to radiate an angelic glow that drives him to consider once more that you could just be an enchanting character across dreams and the year is still 2017.

you sniffle again, brushing off his hand. sometimes you despise that jungkook brings out messiest, most unstable side of you. you know that he practically signed up for this, and he will always love you the same, love you even more. but that doesn’t take away the fact that you’re so embarrassed.

“but i’m not crying just to make you feel bad, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“yah, that wasn’t what i meant?” he frowns, eyes softening at your reply. “of course. i know that.”

the cracks in your voice, he seals with a soft kiss on your lips, tender and swollen caused by the onslaught of your sharp teeth.

“anyway, i can take care of replacing it. i mean, it’s not like it can get stolen just like that, right…?”

he sounds rather nervous convincing the both of you.

“but i’m most worried about you. i can lose everything but you.” his tattooed arm pulls you closer, casting aside the tension by leaving not even an inch of space between your bodies. he tenderly rubs your back to console you, and another kiss is granted to your temple, his soothing voice slightly muffled as his lips stay glued to you. “did i make you cry? i’m sorry, baby, i’m sorry… it’s okay. things like this can happen.”

“no, i’m sorry.” you aggressively shake your head and he carries on with wiping your cheeks, the back of his hand brushing off the tears that drip across your chin. he dries his hand on the hem of his jacket only to get it wet all over again.

“let’s just learn from this and move on. promise me that you’ll be more careful next time, okay? you can do that, right?”

jungkook does scold you every now and then, but although you stress him out, he would hate it if he’s not the first person you call when you’re in trouble. he would hate it if you act nonchalant and secretly cry when you’re hurt. but most of all, he can’t imagine a life in which you don’t make his world spin, much as he tends to get too dizzy at times.

your defiant hum makes his tense shoulders drop in disappointment.

“there should be a bus stop somewhere, i’ll just go home on my own. i don’t want to keep stressing you out.”

you will yourself to break free from his embrace, dragging yourself away to leave behind a trail of footprints in the sand, and he knows he’ll be running after you today, too.

“oh? you better stop right there!” he warns with a hand over his hip.

you become smaller and smaller in his eyes with every tick of the clock, much like how the sun is gradually getting swallowed by the ocean.

“i’ll get angry for real if you disappear from my sight. really, i’m not joking!”

angry? what a joke. you know that he’d cry blood searching for you if you get lost.

“oh? you’re really not going to stop?!”

jungkook’s voice fall on deaf ears, except that of the dog leashed to a tree that stands infront of a humble home. it seethingly barks at him from many meters away.

“fucking shit. i need alcohol.” he chuckles to himself, rubbing his tired eyes. “____, i swear, you’re getting too stubborn these days. what should i do with you?”

but you’re too far away to hear him, and so, he answers himself.

“eh, it is what it is.”

the wind blows with a quiet whistle, deadly as it fuels the roaring waves.

“AH! nuh-uh!” he exclaims, jaw dropping in alarm when he sees an urgent reason to chase after you, putting those leg days at the gym to good use.

you jump, a squeak leaving your mouth when out of nowhere, a solicitous palm smooths over your behind, sliding down to the back of your thighs to hold down your rippling skirt.

but you’re determined to be unyielding, eyes shooting daggers at jungkook. “leave me alone. i can do it myself.”

“baby, isn’t that a little rude? is that how you say ‘thank you’?”

“thank you. now let’s go our separate ways.”

and just like that, you’re walking away again.

“shit.” he curses quietly through gritted teeth, pulling at his hair. “babe, please come back… i’m sorry! i didn’t mean that!”

—

“jungkook! how many times do i need to tell you to turn off faucet properly?!”

you’re hot on jungkook’s tail as he makes his way to the laundry room beside the kitchen, carrying a laundry basket over his hip. he’s still shirtless, only clad in a different pair of shorts after a quick shower.

“the bathroom sink was close to overflowing! again!”

“i know what you’re doing.”

“what? what am i doing?”

the basket touches the ground, standing beside the dryer, and then he turns to face you, eyebrows shooting up. “picking a fight with me won’t work today.”

“why?” your tone borders on a whine.

“what do you mean ‘why’?” he laughs in jest. “why? why do you want to fight with me so bad?”

“i don’t know.” you exhale loudly, rolling your eyes and shrugging. “just because!”

“well, that’s not very convincing, is it?” he teases you with a grin, proceeding to open the dryer to dump the fresh laundry in the basket. the clothes you wore in the past week once again soaked up the sweet, floral scent the people around you distinctly recognizes to be your own and jungkook’s.

“i know, but i’m done playing now. you’re not hearing me.” you close your eyes in frustration, recounting the other times you had to say these exact words. “you’re going to flood our house.”

“okay, okay. i won’t forget to double-check it from now on. i promise.”

“sure, that’s what you also said last time.” you indignantly scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “i’m not turning it off for you anymore. if we get flooded, i’m leaving you. i’m moving out.”

your threat puts a halt to his movements for a split second before he’s adorably replying in a sing-song voice. “then i’m going with you.”

“no, you’re not.”

and it doesn’t come as a shock to you that jungkook doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

“huh! good luck trying to stop me.” he slams the door of the dryer shut, standing up straight. “it’s not easy getting rid of me. you know that.”

he walks to the middle of the room to get a good view of you at the entrance. with the other resting on his hip, he lies his palm flat over the counter, outstretched arm cascading with varied colors of ink in sharp lines and swirling curves.

fuck, he has to know what he’s doing — flexing his muscles like that, not playing fair.

“aigoo, look at you glaring at me. you want to fight?”

and you’d feel intimidated by his challenging stare, the quirk of his eyebrow, his teeth sinking on his bottom lip… only if he didn’t blink to rake a stare over your body, lingering on your smooth legs that couldn’t be covered by your mere underwear. only if they didn’t flicker back to your face, and only if he didn’t smirk like a lovesick fool.

“so cute.” he chuckles. “you’re totally my type.”

“shut up.” you roll your eyes at the random compliment. “i know, i already get that a lot.”

his smile then fades, not so thrilled with the reminder that it’s so easy to fall in love with you, and therefore anyone would die to take his place. he knows that they hover around you like moths to a flame when he’s not there. well, he really can’t blame them, can he? you’re so fucking attractive.

“what does that mean…? who else is saying it, huh? tell me. i think i have a few guesses.”

“does it matter?” you stare at him blankly, which then turns into a piercing glare. “jungkook! i was just talking about you not paying enough attention. look at you proving me right!”

the stomp of your feet on the floor tells him that you’ve reached a level of frustration near to inducing a flood of tears.

oh, he truly got called out, huh?

“i’m sorry- i’m sorry. i admit that. i’m sorry, my love. i was just joking around. i’m listening well now.” he winces guiltily, beckoning you to be where he is. “come here then.”

“i don’t want to.” you stay rooted in your spot. “who do you think you are?”

“m-me…? i’m your boyfriend. boyfriend!” he points at himself, index finger repeatedly poking his bare chest to emphasize his point. his arm then drops to his side. his doe eyes widen as he breathes out a sigh of disbelief. “oh, i’m really getting upset now?”

you bite back a smile. the sweet taste of victory.

you can’t be the only one, can you?

“aish, i see you’re having your way again.” he chuckles, taking it upon himself to cross the distance between you. his hands find purchase on the curves of your waist, and every nerve in your body turns into a live wire. “let’s just go out today. do you want to practice boxing at the gym with me?”

didn’t he just watch you do arms day this morning? does he think you have the same stamina as him? you make a face of disapproval and shake your head.

“shall we go to a rage room again then? break more stuff?” he playfully sticks his tongue out, and you glare once more.

for the record, you loved that mug.

“boring.”

“and fighting with me is fun?”

you purse your lips into a thin line. “well, it’s not boring.”

“of course.” he laughs, softly squeezing your waist, pads of his thumbs mindlessly tracing shapes over the fabric of your top.

all of a sudden, he’s tugging you closer to envelope you in his embrace, voice slightly muffled as he sweetly talks. “are you mad at me for real? i’m sorry. sorry, sorry, sorry. sorry. i’ll really be more mindful of the things you remind me about, i swear… i don’t like fighting. it breaks my heart when you cry.”

what is this five foot ten man with bulging biceps, tattoo sleeve, and piercings doing here in the crook of your neck — affectionately nuzzling his face on your skin and telling you in a baby voice that he doesn’t like fighting?

you don’t know, but you feel good.

and his bare body is so comfortingly soft and warm.

he draws back for a kiss but his nose and lips only graze your cheek when you turn away, and you don’t see the sadness that flashes across his face.

“so what i’m hearing is… you don’t like fighting with me because i’m too sensitive? is that the truth?”

“no!” he perks up to interject without hesitation, shaking his head. “but i don’t think that’s a bad thing anyway… being sensitive.”

but you admit being a crybaby. you cry when you’re angry.

that’s when jungkook distinguishes the glint of mischief swimming in your irises. he feels dizzy after having his heart drop to his stomach.

“no. no, no.”

his mirthful grin returns, revealing his perfect set of teeth.

“ahh, i’m stressed!” he closes his eyes, throwing his head back, chest puffing up when he breathes in then out. “i knew it. no, i’m not falling for this trap!”

then he flees the room carrying the laundry basket, leaving you doubled over and covering your mouth to silence your giggles of amusement.

“i’m hanging the laundry now!”

“how dare you walk away from me?!”

“you can’t follow me!”

“i’m not.” you scoff, purposely bumping your hips against his. “i’ll vacuum the living room.”

—

“where are you going? gym?” you genuinely begin to sulk, watching your boyfriend slide into a baggy pair of bleached denim pants. “are you leaving me here?”

he avoids your inquiring eyes, ignoring you as he pulls up his zipper and does the button. you pout when he walks further away to pull out a black shirt from the clothing rack.

“is that it? are you tired of me already?”

he tosses its hanger in the basket where you discard the empty ones before wearing the final piece of clothing, covering himself fully for the first time today.

you sigh, feeling dejected. “you don’t love me anymore?”

and jungkook needs to physically restrain himself so he won’t grab your face and say ‘i love you’ over and over again until he runs out of breath.

you leave the closet to follow him to the bedroom, where he sits on the edge of the mattress to put on his socks.

you stand by him, patience quickly running thin. “hello?”

he brushes away the non-existent dirt on the left sock before switching his legs to put on the right one.

“did i turn invisible?”

your eyebrows furrow in disappointment. this isn’t how fighting works. you need a reaction at the very least.

you tug at the sleeve of his shirt, starting to get annoyed, already planning your exit if he continues this act. “you’re hurting my feelings. you’re not even going to look at me?”

he mumbles, and you almost fail to piece his phrase together. “can’t, you’re too pretty.”

his big brown eyes faintly glimmer with hope when he looks up at you, puckering his rose-tinted lips and making kissing sounds.

your sweet and clingy boyfriend, he’s making this too difficult.

a tsunami of affection washes over you, and it becomes impossible for you not to crack at his cheekiness then. “jungkook, you’re impossible!”

atleast he tried to shoot his shot.

“tsk, see? i thought so!” he grumbles, snapping the elastic band on his ankle. “just want one kiss.”

he disappears into the closet again.

he returns not a minute later, unceremoniously placing a white bucket hat on your head before tugging it down to obstruct your vision.

“hey!”

you hastily take it off, scowling at your laughing boyfriend who turns out to be already wearing a black bucket hat of his own.

“you’re bored, aren’t you? let’s go out, have some sun.”

“no.”

you reply exactly as your boyfriend predicted you would.

jungkook captures your wrist to slip his credit card on your palm, folding your fingers over it, but they aren’t enough to hide the black rectangular thing you can use to buy the world with if you wanted to. your amusement spills out as giggles, brighter as he pushes your hand to your chest so you have no other choice but to accept it.

he scrunches his nose, face only inches away from yours as he persuades you with his natural charm. “what if we go shopping, hmm?”

“thanks babe, but i can’t think of anything i want right now.” you sniffle with teary eyes, flipping the card and holding it between your longest fingers as muscle memory takes control.

“then just keep it incase you see something you want.”

he kneels on the floor out of the blue, and you eye him curiously, your fingers automatically tangling with his silky locks before making a loose fist.

“here, put some pants on. hurry-” he presents your pair of faded gray cargo pants.

you tug at his hair lightly, which prompts him to lift his head. you scrunch your nose cutely, giggling. “i’m spoiled.”

“ey, so what if you are?” he brushes off your observation with his satoori accent, blithe tone listing down reasons. “i love you. i worked hard so i can do these things for you. we moved in together so we can take care of each other.”

and you want to cry. you truly do. your face began to feel warm after he said that he loves you, but the tears never make it past your lash line when his big palm lands a loud smack on your ass, skin-to skin.

“but i do think that you are a brat. does that count for something?”

it catches you by surprise, and a scandalized gasp escapes your mouth as you feel the sting spreading across your skin.

“shut up! give that to me.” you roll your eyes, stealing the pants from his grasp.

“see, that’s what i’m talking about.” he chuckles lightheartedly. “get dressed then.”

his fingers dig in the soft flesh of your thighs when he pulls you closer to kiss the tiny little ribbon on your underwear, heart-shaped lips pressed to you so firmly you can trace their outline bleeding through the thin fabric and onto your skin. “mmm-mwah!”

and then you feel them there next, where it still hurts, a softer kiss in comparison to soothe the sting he left behind.

your heart is beating so loud you can feel it in your throat, feeble knees nearly giving away to crash and break.

who does that so casually? who the hell does that?

oh, right… jungkook. of course.

you raise the white flag today.

perhaps he will flood the apartment tomorrow, and you can stay angry longer then.

—

“what’s taking him so long?” you mutter absentmindedly to yourself, lost eyes scanning the park in hopes of getting a glimpse of your boyfriend and his classic jungkook outfit, but he’s still nowhere to be seen.

your sour mood makes a reappearance.

to your credit, taking you out and then asking you to wait here without telling you where he’s going is rude, and you’re lonely and jealous of the couples around you having a picnic. not to mention that the clouds have uncovered the sun and you’re burning.

this scene also leads your brain to wander to those cliche flashbacks in a film or a show where a parent lies to their child that they’ll come back, and then they doesn’t. it’s always, always at some sort of park.

oh, for fuck’s sake, why are you wasting your time giving this a lot of thought?

too bored and antsy to sit still, you finally decide to text jungkook.

to: my baby love

i'm gonna look for food. do you want anything?

orrr is that what you're away buying 😥

WHERE ARE YOU

why didn't you just take me with youuuu

?

please me lonely :(

[sent 1 photo]

a black cat !! is sleeping on my shoes!! 😭

i miss you :(

are you almost done

i hate u

whatever i'm going. call if you still remember that you're someone's bf i guess.

—

jungkook crosses the street like an excited puppy, long pretty hair bouncing as he practically skips his way to the area where he left you to wait.

only to be greeted by a complete stranger.

his radiant beam fades into a hue of confusion.

the bench is now occupied by a woman chugging an energy drink after running laps around the park.

they lock eyes for a split second. he averts his befuddled stare to pretend that nothing happened, walking past her with a bouquet of sunflowers until he settles down two benches away.

he wears his bucket hat again only for him to throw it aside with a sigh, messing with his hair to release his frustration. of course you left. he can only snort to himself while he reads the last message you sent. you’re so cute. he knows you’ve never been keen on having to wait, but he didn’t expect himself to take so long either.

not wanting you to be upset with him another second longer, he instantly decides to call you.

his forehead creases when his phone vibrates, informing him that he typed an incorrect password. he tries again, slow and deliberate, only for the same thing to happen, and he begins to feel nervous.

what the fuck?

okay, calm down, JK. one more time.

he freezes as the same words flash on the screen. his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he feels the irritation bubbling up inside of him.

“why is it like this…? what’s your problem? what am i touching wrong?”

—

you return to the park more carefree than before. since jungkook is god knows where, you decided to have a picnic on your own. you had to buy a new picnic blanket, though. you can’t get the one in the car because he has the key. but just to be petty, you hope that he figured it out from the text notifications he got when you used his card.

oh, there he is looking angrily at his phone.

you halt on your tracks, instantly pulling the brakes on your feet when you recognize your boyfriend from your peripheral vision. you slowly chew the remaining tteokbokki in your mouth.

he’s holding his phone… and he hasn’t called you yet?

“wow, did you seriously forgot about me?”

upon hearing your familiar voice, jungkook’s features soften, not having to squint at the sunlight either because you’ve kindly blocked it with your back.

“where did you even go? i didn’t see you!”

the password-protected device that’s been giving him a headache for the past ten minutes is abandoned in the depths of his pocket.

“baby,” he utters airily as he stands on his feet, reaching out to hold your forearm. “i’m sorry. i took so long, didn’t i…? i went to buy you flowers but they didn’t have tulips anywhere. anywhere. every shop said someone bought all of them!”

he scratches his head with a sheepish grin, revealing the bouquet he’s been concealing behind him.

“i got you sunflowers instead… they-” he points at them, eyes flickering on the bundle of yellow flowers he’s offering as a gift. “they’re not bad. i think they’re pretty too. you like them too, right?”

sunflowers are pretty. after all, it used to be your favorite in middle school, mostly because it’s the first flower you received from an admirer… it was for your birthday and you felt like you died when it withered, heavily on-brand for a young heart drawn to romance. excluding that, everything has changed. it’s a typical saturday and beads of sweat have formed on your lover’s forehead after running around under the sun. you think you can keep them alive longer this time around.

“i like you the most.”

and then he receives his gift in return, that particularly sweet smile of yours he only sees when you’re so giddy.

his heart flutters wildly at your following actions.

“kiss.” you adorably demand, copying his pout earlier when he was asking for a kiss.

but unlike you who left his wish ungranted, he crosses the distance to plant a kiss on your lips. he pulls away a mere three inches, muttering to confront you. “but i thought you hated me?”

“who said that? that wasn’t me.” you feign ignorance, eyes so wide as to mimic being confused. you carefully take the flowers into your embrace, subtly exchanging it with the paper bowl you’re holding. “thank you, baby… here, do you want tteokbokki?”

he goes for the fish cake first, poking it with the stick and popping it in his mouth. you find yourself too absorbed in admiring the sunflowers one by one to sense your boyfriend staring at you, thinking to himself, you’re always worth the effort and this overpriced tteokbokki is pretty damn good.

“i turned on my location like i promised i would. did you see?” you mention without looking at him, acting laidback, still too shy when anything related to the incident is brought up.

he awkwardly smiles. no, he didn’t, unfortunately. he’s still fucking locked out of his phone.

you whimper when he pinches your cheek. “good job, baby.”

—

jungkook removes his head on your stomach to lie down beside you on the red picnic blanket. his hair touches his face and he tucks them behind his ears for the millionth time today.

“will you type my password for me?”

you take his phone without question, putting yours over your chest for the meantime. you successfully unlock it within a second, experienced fingers nimble after years of typing on the daily.

“here.” you hold it out for him without looking, picking up your own phone to continue scrolling through trending topics. however, seconds pass and the heavy weight on your hand has yet to be eased, so you wiggle it to catch his attention. “hey, it’s done.”

he gasps, gaping at you in bewilderment. “how did you do that?”

“you changed it again last night, remember? because i told you our anniversary isn’t a good idea.”

shit, right. he added a new one to the list of passwords that he uses for everything. he totally forgot about that. you’ve taken over every working brain cell that he has in his body.

“baby, this is your fault!” he groans, finally snatching away his phone. “ah- i wanted to throw it away. i didn’t know what was wrong with it. i was seriously so close to crying!”

that bad? was he about to get all his data wiped out? your poor baby. you laugh out loud at his reaction, belly aching as you roll over to wrap your arm around his waist and bury your face on his side.

“anyone can guess it if they try hard enough.”

“but that was the trick, you know? they’d think it’s too easy. they wouldn’t even consider it!”

“that doesn’t mean they won’t try it!”

“ah, i don’t care. i’m changing it back.” he stubbornly pouts, falling back on the blanket.

you want to cuddle. he feels a tug on the sleeve of his shirt and he immediately understands. he allows you to use his tattooed arm as a pillow. it envelopes you entirely when he reaches for his phone to type with both hands, and you automatically snuggle with him closer by resting your head on his chest.

“fine. do what you want, you dummy. you better not leave your phone lying around.” you mutter, heavy eyelids fluttering shut as the wind blows to softly caress your face. “and don’t take more pictures of me sleeping.”

“you’re sleeping? i thought we’re going to the mall.”

“we are. i’m letting you rest before you carry shopping bags.”

“ah- wow. thanks, baby.”

you don’t how much time passes, a minute or ten or more, but falling into a deep sleep proves to be impossible with the cacophony of sounds you’re surrounded with. you’re resting somewhere away from the crowd, but there’s still the hiphop music from a bluetooth speaker, honking of vehicles… and the main culprit, jeon jungkook scrolling through tiktok on your phone and bookmarking videos for you to watch later on. you can hear his giggles louder than his heartbeat, feel them make his body vibrate throughout.

so, you give up. you open your blurry eyes with a tired sigh, blinking to readjust to the brightness. he feels your movements, your nose brushing against his neck, and he squeezes you to his side, dutifully stroking your head to remind you that you’re safe despite being in a public place because you’re with him. you kiss his cheek to show your appreciation.

you end up harmonizing with his giggles when you do decide to join him, nearly tearing up at the sight of a cat riding a motorcycle toy on the screen. a little while later, your fascination is then stolen by fiddling with his tattooed hand — tracing the veins, the lines, the tattoos; pressing the faded heart like it’s a button connected to the beating one in his ribcage; grazing the rough areas of his palm calloused by lifting heavy weights.

and as you do so, you mull over the house by the sea you’re saving up for. how much longer will it take? should you check out more locations? do you tell jungkook? that it’s your back-up plan, a place where no one knows your name, just like how this city once was. it’s where you would run to, where you would build a new life if the time comes that this one falls apart, too. if not, if not, if not, would it be so bad to wake up beside you with an ocean view when he’s sixty?

fuck, you don’t know anymore. it shouldn’t be this hard— not anticipating the worst, but still being prepared for it. you despise being an adult.

you do it absentmindedly, taking off one of your silver rings and slipping it into each of his fingers to see where it would fit best… he knows you’re only entertaining yourself, but feeling it in his ring finger still puts a lump in his throat.

“are you proposing to me?”

“this is your right hand, silly.” you tease your stunned boyfriend, sticking your tongue out. “if you want me, come and get me.”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

[jhdyuiee]

blossom

wildflower - part 1 .

❁ blossom : a new beginning & growth .

❁ pairing: ex!jaehyun x fem!reader

❁ tags/warnings: angst, fluff, smut!, pregnancy, unprotected sex (flashback scene), multiple positions (doggy&missionary), oral (f), squirting, kissing/making out, nipple/breast play, hair-pulling, spanking, fingering, mentions of masturbation (m), pet-names (baby&darling), down-bad and groveling jaehyun (:0), cursing, mentions of drinking, time-skips, bittersweet ending

❁ w.c: 7.9k

❁ a.n: hi! you ask and i shall deliver, part 2 of wildflower! writing this one was so challenging because i was having major writers block, which ended up delaying it's release, aghh. anyways i tried pulling through, so stick until the bittersweet end <3 ! JOLO OUT IN 2 WEEKS (obsessed with roses, like jaehyun babe who hurt yuh?!) 🥃 . anyways love you all, stay safe & jiji out 🤍

“i'll never forget how stupid in love i felt. i'll always regret how i couldn't ever tell, that you walked a little faster, left me behind.”

“kissed me with somebody else in mind. i loved you so much that i settled for less.“

“oh, you were my everything… i was your second best.”

- laufey | “second best”

jaehyun’s pov.

“fuck, fuck, fuck,” i shouted as the door closed. i contemplated chasing after her, but something told me not to. how could’ve i been so fucking stupid? why did i think she would understand– no, this whole shit was impossible to understand.

i cheated and lied to her. there wasn’t going to be anything i could’ve done now to undo what i did. i did the worst thing a man could’ve done, and broke her, played with her innocent self. i could love for infinitely, but that still wouldn't have been enough to repair the damage. 

i looked down, remembering the gift she gave me right before leaving. this small gift bag held a massive weight. with trembling hands, i started unboxing it and pulled out a small velvet box.

no, this couldn’t be… now hurriedly i opened it. a silver colored ring, in the middle of the box. you fucking bastard, i thought. i really fucked up, really beyond repair.

i took the ring out. i noted the small stones around the band of the ring, my birthstone, amethyst.

my cheeks felt wet, only then did i realize i started crying. now i regret not chasing after her, spending the rest of my day apologizing to her, pleading with her. she took my happiness when she walked out that door, a part of me with her.

and for all i knew matters would only continue to get worse from here on out…

two lines.

there are two fucking lines on the stick…

“i’m pr-pregnant…” i muttered.

this couldn’t be happening, oh how i wished this was a dream— a nightmare i could wake up to right about now. but no, this is fucking reality.

well i guess that would explain why i was late and the nauseating feelings i kept having. however so i still hoped it would come out negative. it wasn’t that i didn’t want this child, it was just about whether or not i’d be up to live as a single mother.

i caressed my stomach, though still unnoticeable, how would this child be able to live? made without mutual love, and there was no denying this was a result of that night. the very same night before disaster struck.

did the birth control not work? i thought. no, impossible it’d always worked, but perhaps luck was truly never in my favor that day. it’d been about or over a month since that day and a lot has happened, my newly discovered pregnancy being one of those things.

as i walk outside my bathroom and into my bedroom, i gently sit on the edge of my bed as flashbacks of the past month flood my mind. first things first, that same week i began moving out with my shared apartment with yuna. we had a pretty heated argument, both sides equally hurt and betrayed. yet one thing i’d say we both saw eye-to-eye was how much of a scum he was. who knew a simple man would cause our friendship to fall apart.

anyhow, with that out the way i started making preparations to move out of not only that apartment but the city. luckily the move went smoothly thanks to a special someone.

mr.jeong.

it happened a day after my talk with yuna when i decided to talk to his father. i felt the need to come clean, confess to everything that went on. to my surprise, mr.jeong hadn’t yet heard of our breakup nor from his son. i expected mr.jeong to feel upset, or at least angry towards me but he didn’t. in fact he cursed at his idiotic son, sympathizing with me. the woman who entered a fake relationship and lied to him, nonetheless there was no denying mr.jeong’s genuine care and love towards me. he treated me as his family, the thought made my heart ache. i mean it was a silly thought as i’d never will become his family.

our talk lasted well around an hour before i decided to depart. i made the decision to tell mr.jeong that i’d be moving, in which he offered two things. one, to never tell that idiotic son of his where i’d gone to in case he asks. two, money.

i refused to take the money, but he insisted i take it since i’d just quit my cafe job. also adding how expensive getting a singular apartment would be for me. after much dispute… i ended up taking the money. he also added there was no need to repay him back, and that if i wanted to look at it as a i’m-sorry-for-my-idiotic-sons-foolishness recompense.

nonetheless i’m eternally grateful to mr.jeong. i mean without his help i probably wouldn't have been able to move into this apartment in a fairly quicker time as if i didn’t have the amount they asked for. once i settled in, i began job hunting.

just the other day i went in for an interview. i still awaited the call from the company, it was a publishing firm.

i plopped down onto my bed, absentmindedly staring at the ceiling. who knew the year would turn out so catastrophic for me. a whirlwind of thoughts flooded my mind which eventually led me to a deep slumber. the pregnancy sure to be the cause of my tiredness.

ring. ring. ring.

my eyes slowly fluttered open, trying to find the noise of the abrupt ringing. my phone's screen lights up, vibrating against the mattress. i reached a hand towards the device, not even bothering to look at who was calling me.

“hello? is this y/n?” a woman’s voice spoke.

slightly unconscious i answer, “y-yes, may i ask who’s this.”

“ah- nice to speak to you y/n, this i’m mrs.kang and i work for the publishing firm you applied for.”

oh, now i was fully awake. “woa- hello! nice to mee-speak to you ms.kang,” i stumbled on my words.

a slight chuckle arose from the other line, “yes, well i just wanted to tell you that… you’re in! congratulations, the company has decided to hire you!”

what! no way… it has to be a dream. i pinch myself, ow. okay not a dream. “wo-wow, thank you so much! w-when can i start!”

“next monday, if that’s alright with you,” she explained. “yes! that’s fine with me,” i almost immediately replied. “that’s great, see you on monday ms.l/n!”

i bid her farewell before hanging up. wow. my life is really seemingly picking up after all the bad luck. oh but now there was the baby to think about, i still haven’t called my clinic. “it’d be best to call them now,” i muttered. and so i did, my appointment was set for thursday.

i reach back for my stomach, a faint smile appeared on my face. “my little light,” i whisper into the empty bedroom.

i was keeping my baby, it didn’t matter whether i would be a good mother or not because this child was a little gift to me sent from the heavens above. my baby, not his. “you may not have a father, but that’s okay, my little light. i’ll make sure to give you both so you’ll never feel lonely. mommy loves you so much already.”

my little light. finding my way out the deepest depths of hell, you became my light who guided me to my new beginning. and for that you’re my little light. my savior.

jaehyun’s pov.

i drove into the driveway of my father’s residence, parking before finding myself knocking at his front door. he’d called me yesterday night, urging me to see him today. i wonder what he could’ve wanted. i wasn’t in the mood to see him today or come to my childhood home where memories of her existed.

it’s been over a month since we broke up and my life has been nothing but a shit show. i stare at my left hand, the sun's light reflecting on the piece of medal around my finger. her final gift, her parting gift; the ring found it’s home on my left ring finger. i’ve never taken it off once since that day that i put it on.

i can’t even count how many nights i spent crying, drinking, and cursing myself. y/n… her name hurt to say, verbally or not. sometimes it felt as though she was still there, waiting for me at my apartment, in my car, everywhere. she haunted me everyday, even when i slept.

she never answered or responded to any of my calls or texts, assuming she blocked my number.

the door swings open, and instead of being met with ms.kim i was met with an angered man, my father. “nice to you see you too,” i said when he didn’t offer to greet me first. strange, i thought. normally he’d be chatty but today he just walked, guiding me to his office. we took a seat across from each other on the leather couches he had in there.

silence filled the office before i decided to speak up. i cleared my throat, “so what’s wrong father.”

he huffed, “you’re no son of mine jaehyun.” i furrowed my brows, no son of mine?

he must’ve noticed my confusion because he then continued. “i know what you did, what you did to her. how could you!” he spoke, his words getting louder the more he continued.

shit.

”you think i wouldn’t find out? the poor girl came to me just the other day, a mess, yet nonetheless confessed to everything that was going on between the two of you,” he continued, my eyes widening more. she came over… she was here…

i clenched my fists. “i-is she alright? did she look okay?” i trashed question after question. my mind only thinking of her. he stayed quiet, not answering any of my questions. a beat or two passed before he continued speaking, “i mean really jaehyun… lying to her just to get back with that other woman?!”

fuck, looks like he knew everything. i sucked a breath in, “i-i didn’t mean to-” he cut me off, “mean to what!?” he shouts. “to fall in love with her. to break her. for any of this to happen,” i answered. my vision was beginning to blur. i faintly hear my father, tsk, before speaking.

“get ready jaehyun.”

i looked into his eyes for the first time since we entered his office. “f-for?” i asked, a gut feeling telling me it wasn’t for anything good. “i’m passing the company to you. i’ve been meaning to for a while now, and after all this mess you got yourself in you don’t exactly deserve it but i’m not getting any younger.”

my mouth fell open, then closed. no way he was asking me to take over the company… i wasn’t in any way, shape, or form prepared. heck i was still a mess from the break up.

“and i don’t care if you’re not prepared, a mess, or whatever excuse you have to offer me, you’re gonna take over and that’s final.”

there was no point arguing, when my father made a decision it was final. “alright,” i said, throwing my head back against the couch.

i hear as he gets up, resting my head back up. he pauses for a moment when he grabs the doorknob, turning to face me.

“and to answer your questions from earlier, she’s gone. y/n left jaehyun, she’s not coming back so you should give up. i mean it’s not like she’s going to take you back after everything you put her through.”

my heart dropped, my eyes blurring again. she-she’s gone? y/n, my y/n? no, no… this wasn’t supposed to happen. and so before i could further inquiry my father any further, he opened the door and walked out.

he left me all alone in his office space, me and my thoughts. my gaze drops down to the ring, where a single tear drop landed.

7 months later.

“ow,” you muttered. you bring a hand to your stomach, feeling the tiny kicks of the little human inside you. “i might as well sign you up for soccer,” i say, feeling another kick that causes me to chuckle. perhaps that was my sign that my little light was up for playing the sport.

for the past 7 months since i found out i was pregnant it’s been… a lot. it was hard being alone, but as time quickly passed i started getting the hang of it. i wished i had someone to go to, but my parents were long gone. i never really had a family to call my own, except now for this little human.

ever since my stomach started showing i’ve been working at home, the company was surprisingly pretty insistent about taking a maternity leave, but i still needed a way to make money. the workload wasn’t a lot, in fact i was only assigned with editing reports. nonetheless the pay was still great.

in fact, next month was going to be my last month working as the date for my birth approached, i needed to take the time off. in the 7 months too, my memory and thoughts of him dissipated. i was doing better, i could feel it. it wasn’t just for me, but for my baby too. i didn’t want my child to be upset with me.

as i got up to go use the restroom i heard the faint ringtone of my phone. i sighed as i looked at the caller id. “and what do i owe you the pleasure of, jungwoo?”

kim jungwoo. my co-worker and newly found best friend. he was the only one by my side and the only one i’ve spoken to about everything that’s happened. shock would be an understatement of his reaction, but nevertheless he still stuck by my side… annoyingly so.

“is that really a way to greet your bestest friend!? i’m very offended y/l/n, after all that trouble of going to get you those midnight cravings,” he says, falsely sobbing into the phone. though he couldn’t see, i rolled my eyes. this guy, i swear.

“oh my, i’m sorry your majesty. please forgive my behavior just now,” i replied. “you are forgiven,” he says back. “but… really jungwoo, why’d you call?”

“nothing much, just… open the door and you’ll find out,” he says. i do as he instructed, slowly walking to my door.

you open it, revealing jungwoo with a carry-out bag in hand. was it unusual to say you developed a keen sense of smell since your pregnancy? well because it smelled like he brought over fried chicken.

“uhm… can you maybe drool later, and let me in now so we could dig in,” he says, standing frozen. i snap out of my hungry state, moving aside to let him in.

we walk to my dining table, sitting across from one another. jungwoo does all the unpacking whilst i watch with prying eyes as he takes the food out and opens it. “dig in,” he announces. i wasted no time, grabbing the chicken and stuffing it into my mouth. i let out a satisfied groan, the chicken tasting so damn good.

you being too engulfed with that damn delicious fried chicken, failed to notice as jungwoo turns on the television. “come back before i finish everything,” you warn him. he lets go of the remote, stopping at some random channel. well the television was the least of your worries right now.

“how’s she doing,” jungwoo speaks up, eyeing my stomach. “i’m thinking of signing her up for soccer when she’s straight out of the womb, little girl can kick,” i replied, earning me a laugh from jungwoo.

a couple months back, my doctor told me the gender of my little light. a girl, my baby girl. i didn’t partially care what the gender was going to be, but nonetheless i was still ecstatic about the revelation. having a baby girl meant i would be able to dress her up, so cute like a little doll.

“jeong jaehyun.”

i whip my head to the television at the mention of that name. my eyes widened, dropping the food from my hand.

“n corps newest ceo is the first to accomplish acquiring various kinds of subsidiaries in such a short amount of time– ranging from luxury brands to flower shops,” the female reporter says as they display a picture of the man.

i squint my eyes, focusing them solely on his left hand. i hoped my eyes weren’t deceiving me because… is that the ring i gave him. no… no, my mind and eyes had to have been playing tricks on me because why on earth would he wear, better yet still have the ring.

“is that him,” jungwoo speaks up, interrupting my thoughts. i turn back around, my mood suddenly plummeting. i don't say anything, just nodding my head to indicate that the man who just appeared was the same man i spoke of.

and so for the rest of dinner we ate in silence, minor talk appearing but jungwoo would always be the one initiating it. i was too lost, going down a rabbit hole about him.

when we finished eating, jungwoo insisted on cleaning up– he even took the garbage with him as he left. i walked him to my door, bidding him goodbye. when he was gone, i headed to the bathroom, a shower was very much needed.

plopping onto my bed, i stare at the ceiling. my thoughts on, jaehyun. a familiar ache appeared in my heart, i thought i was over him but it seems i might be far from it. “i guess mommy isn’t all that strong, huh little one,” i whisper as i reach my hands over my stomach.

you’re not sure what came over you that night, that news report igniting your lost feelings. and so in the midst of your thoughts, you somehow drifted off into a deep slumber.

an interesting one, per say. not only for you but for the other party involved as well…

✧˖°ʚ ❁ ɞ♡

jaehyun crashes his lips to mine, eloping me into a deep and passionate kiss. his tongue slides along my bottom lip, begging for entry in which i grant him.

our tongues fighting one another, and teeth occasionally clashing. my mind began to fog, but i refused to stop. i could feel his love with every kiss.

“strip,” he says in a sultry tone. i felt the air getting hot.

grabbing the hem of my top, i pulled it over my head, and then followed my shorts. i left myself in my lace panties and bra, jaehyun licking his lips in delight.

reaching his hand over, he gropes my tits which earned him a breathy moan of his name.

reaching his hands to the back, he swiftly unhooks my bra, letting it fall beneath me. he groans, admiring the way my tits were on full display. “so fucking beautiful,” he says, taking his mouth over one of my nipples.

he sucks on it, and eventually bites down on the bud. i bite my bottom lip, not wanting to yell out loud.

i look down at him, his eyes staring back at mine as he practically makes out with one of my tits. i could feel one of his hands slides down my back at a slow pace, leaving a burning trail behind.

“you want me to touch you, baby?” he asks as he fondles your ass, sending a small slap across the flesh of skin. “y-yes,” you moan.

“tell me baby, where.” his voice so deep, his head coming up to peck my lips. i nearly melted, “yo-you know.” i take an unoccupied hand of his to my sex, making him palm it. “my pussy needs you,” i whisper as i leaned into his ear.

jaehyun’s lips twitch up, kissing you hard one last time before he begins to go down on his knees. he places his hands to the waistband of your panties, dragging them down your legs. “open up for me,” he says, and i begin opening my legs up. he drags his fingers to collect the slick that began dripping down my thigh.

kiss after kiss, bite after bite along my thighs. reaching a hand to his hair, i grip it. and when he finally reaches my cunt, i become a whimpering mess. his hands gripped my thighs, holding me in place as his tongue darted out.

a slow tantalizing lick, and then another. i jerk my hips forward, wanting more friction. i feel as jaehyun stops his licks. “don’t move, or else i won’t let you cum darling.” his warning was clear, i stayed still.

and so he continues, but instead of licks he sucks on my clit. along with using the tip of his tongue to tease the poor bud, before finishing off with a bite. “j-jaehyun!” i yelled when i felt his teeth on my clit.

letting go with a pop, i watch as he licks his lips before diving back in. his licks faster than when he first started, and before i knew it he brought his fingers into the mix. one of his fingers entering you, then two, both knuckle deep inside you. it wasn’t until after he pecked your clit that he began thrusting them inside you.

in and out, out and in. your gummy walls clenching around his digits as they quickly thrusted into you. you feel the stretch of your walls as he opens them, like scissors. the constant chant of his name was such a melody to his ears, urging him to do more.

you felt yourself getting closer to your release as he continued his ministrations on your pussy. he must’ve felt the way you clenched around his fingers, “close?” he asks. “y-yes, m-my cl-clit!”

jaehyun got the message as he attached his mouth onto your clit. with both his mouth and hands working themselves on you at the same time, it felt like you could cum at any moment. with one suck to your clit and his fingers plummeting in you, you gushed out. a stream of liquid coming out of you, splattering all over his arm. it wasn’t the first time you’ve squirted but nonetheless you still felt shy, hot all over.

jaehyun gets back up, watching you as you watched him lick your essence off his arm and hand. “so delicious, a delicacy that you are baby.”

you could almost cum again from those simple words. as you try regaining your breath jaehyun brings his lips to your ear. “on the bed, all fours,” he whispers. a shiver runs down your spine, his sex-dazed voice was one of your favorite things in the whole world.

without wasting another second you head towards his bedroom, onto his bed with hands and knees on the mattress. your ass up, on full display. slap. you jerk forward from the sudden movement.

and another one on the other cheek. you turn your head around, a naked jaehyun behind you in all his glory. his hard, thick cock reaching his stomach. you could see the glisten of his pre-cum. you feel his hardened member rub against your slit, both your essences blending with one another.

then he places a hand on your hips, while the other holds his cock so he could slide it into your aching hole. his cock slowly stretches you out, walls wrapping snuggly around it. you could hear jaehyun’s groans the deeper he goes in. when he’s all in, he kisses your exposed nape before going absolutely mad.

jaehyun was an absolute madman when it came to having sex. when he was balls deep inside you, he felt like he’d gone into another dimension; another world. you are quite literally the most perfect thing in this world, you were made for him.

your mouth falls into an ‘o’ shape when you feel his tip kissing your womb, tongue hanging out when he grabs some of your hair to pull you against his chest. you didn’t know if it was even possible for his dick to reach you even deeper, but it must’ve because this angle allowed for him to reach places that have never been touched before.

it wasn’t long before you ended up cumming on his cock, jaehyun following suit after a couple more thrusts. feeding your womb his seeds, which eventually dripped out of you as slides his cock out. you slump onto the mattress, too tired, body giving up.

on the other hand, there was something so hot about watching his cum drip out of your pussy. it turned him on, his cock beginning to harden again. his hands reached your body, turning you the other way so your back was against the mattress. you looked so fucked, he loved it.

“ready for round two?” he says, not even waiting for your answer before he intrudes back into your hole. fucking his cum back into your pussy. his hands, finding yours as he interlocks his fingers with yours. your watery eyes, low chants of his name, the clenching of your walls and fingers, the way your mouth falls open, and your tongue lolling out. fuck. it was the perfect sight.

“god, i love you,” jaehyun groans as he thrusted into you.

there was no stopping him now, he was going at an insane pace. the sounds of skin slapping, his balls on your ass, and the squelching sounds of you both echoed in the room.

letting go of one of the interlaced fingers, he brings his hand to your clit. the poor swollen bud victim to his ministrations again. he used his thumb to rub the bundle of nerves, you clench tighter around him. your own orgasm not too far away.

“k-kiss me!” you yelled. jaehyun wasted no time bringing his lips onto yours. it was sloppy but you didn’t care, you loved the way it felt.

you moaned into the kiss, as you finally came for the third time tonight. taking his lips from your mouth, he puts them on an exposed section of your neck, sucking on it as he came.

filling you up for a second time tonight, you felt the warmth inside your womb. you wondered whether you could get pregnant after tonight. having his babies, becoming parents, getting married— a dream.

both of you crash onto his bed, not bothering to clean up for now. both too tied, and unable to get up. he kisses your hair, whispering sweet nothings and lulls you to sleep. you and jaehyun peacefully sleeping in each other’s arms for the night.

jaehyun’s pov.

fuck. what the fuck.

jaehyun jumps up from his bed. too shocked, unable to comprehend what just happened. he doesn’t mutter anything, he just goes into his bathroom and turns on the shower.

stepping into the cold water, he faces the tile walls. his throbbing erection the least of his worries right now.

“wh-why… why did i have a dream about that night, the night before we-we-“ he mutters, the water dripping down his body.

jaehyun didn’t know why he dreamt about you, the steamy night that unfolded a week prior to the break-up.

yeah, he’d get off to past memories of you but never a full on dream. he didn’t know what to do, to think, to say, to anything.

and he couldn’t even being himself to sleep again, so he showered in the cold. it’s been 7 months, the pain still not gone. he misses you tremendously every single day.

he stares at the ring that still stayed on his finger, clenching his hand as he wants to punch the wall in front of him.

“y/n…”

2 months later.

december 14. the day my little star was born.

she was born healthy, no complications. and luckily i was fine as well. it was excruciating pain but knowing she was close to being brought into this world made such pain disappear.

in fact, today we were scheduled to leave and i couldn’t wait to just go home. my home wouldn’t feel so empty anymore, the thought made me smile.

d/n (daughter name) was currently being breastfed, her eyes shut and wrapped like a burrito. she was the most beautiful baby, though she does look quite a lot like her daddy.

i sigh, throwing my head against the pillow. and before i could fully relax after various sleepless nights, there was a knock to my hospital door. the knock causing me to jerk my head towards the door.

“come in,” i said loud enough so the person on the other side could hear, and low enough so it wouldn’t frighten my baby as she was fast asleep.

i thought it was just some nurse coming in to check in before i left but it wasn’t, far from it. my eyes widened. the person also stopping in their trace when they noticed me.

“y/n…” the feminine voice speaks.

my mouth falls open, “m-ms.kim?!”

what was she doing here? why- wait… kim jungwoo, kim… oh my god. the pieces clicked together, she was the person jungwoo promised to call.

just last night jungwoo called me, apologizing over and over again for being unable to take me back home. i do remember him telling me that he’d find someone else, but… who knew it’d be his mother, ms.kim!

we both stayed frozen. neither speaking, you could probably even hear our breaths. however, the cries of a baby erupted into the room. the cries bringing us back to reality.

i look at d/n, swaying her gently in my arms. her wails didn’t stop though. “c-can i?” ms.kim asks. i look up, nodding my head, handing her my daughter. it was almost intriguing how fast d/n calmed down, falling back asleep in ms.kim’s arms. she takes a closer look at the baby in her arms, “she’s adorable, such chubby cheeks.”

i admire the scene in front of me, when was the last time i saw her? i thought. does she still work for them? countless questions wondered in my head until she spoke again. “she looks just like him,” she says softly. i almost froze, eyes widening. i never told her who the father was, but then again my baby does look a lot like her dad. then considering ms.kim had been with the jeong’s since he was born, she must’ve seen how he looked as a baby.

“d-does she,” i say at a loss. she nods, “i’ve been with them since he was still in the womb, and watched him grow, so i can guarantee you they’re daughter and father.” when i didn’t speak she spoke again, “i probably shouldn’t be bringing him up… i- mr.jeong told me. he explained to me what happened when i asked why you weren’t coming over anymore, and well… i’m sorry.”

wait… why- why is she apologizing. i stopped her immediately, “n-no, you-you have nothing to do with what happened, why are you apologizing?!”

“i raised him after,” she answered. i shook my head, “no, please don’t apologize. you and mr.jeong played no part in what unraveled between me and him, nor do or will i blame either of you.”

she faintly smiles, “you’re too kind, y/n. in all honesty, i thought i would never see you again but yet here you are, you even befriended my son.” i giggled a little at the thought of jungwoo, “he sure is something else, but i’ll be eternally grateful to him.”

we continued our conversation for a while longer before a nurse came in to give me the okay to leave today. i did and completed the necessary things so i could go home, ms.kim helped me. and after a couple hours we were finally out of the hospital with d/n in the car seat ms.kim brought along. she said jungwoo got it for me, as a congrats-on-giving-birth gift.

ms.kim drove, while i stayed in the back with d/n, arriving at my home a while later. we spent the rest of the evening there, ms.kim preparing dinner. whilst she was doing that, jungwoo got off work and came over. he was overly excited to see d/n, shunning me and his own mother out.

when the food was ready, i put a sleeping d/n in the crib i placed in the living room. then i headed back to the dining table, sitting down and for the first time enjoying a homely meal. it was so good, i started crying. when was the last time i felt at peace? when i felt complete? jungwoo nor ms.kim said anything, letting me have a moment.

my home was finally warm and cozy, my new life begun today. my little light radiating throughout my- our home.

4 months later.

i sighed, pushing the stroller of my 4 month-old child along the park. the cold winter weather was gone, and the flowers were in full bloom again. we came for a stroll at our local park, i was in need of a refresher.

it’s been a month since i began working again, and things were going great until a couple days ago when i was informed of a new task. the ol’ mighty task being… interviewing… jeong jaehyun. with the rise of n corps, my company was in desperation to get an interview with him. and if matters couldn’t get any worse, our main interviewer broke their leg a couple days ago, so they decided to assign me with the job. well, they gave me until the end of the week to decide whether i was up for it but… come on, me?!

no way, there was no way i was going to-

“y/n?” a voice shouts. the voice sounding familiar, i turn around without any second thoughts. though now i wished i hadn’t turned around at all, that i had simply ignored the call of my name.

i froze. “j-jaehyun,” i said in a voice that was only loud enough for him to hear. what was he doing here… he shouldn’t be here… no… no wh- “it really is you…” he says, interrupting my thoughts. he walks closer, my eyes beginning to blur. “baby,” he says gently. my stomach churns, in a bad way at the use of the word.

“d-don’t ca-call me t-that!” i say, my voice distorted. i was probably trembling as he walked closer. he stopped in his tracks when the cries of a baby erupted.

shit.

he stops, his eyes focusing from me to the strolling behind me. i instinctively blocked her, hiding her from his view even though it was too late now.

it seems it didn't take long for jaehyun to connect two-and-two together. “i-is that my- our child,” he says in an astonished tone. at least he wasn’t such an idiot, i’ll give him that.

i shook my head, “no, you’re wrong. she’s mine, she doesn’t need you.” i wasn’t going to deny that he was the dad but that didn’t mean i’d consider him as her father.

jaehyun drops to his knees in front of me. his sobs getting louder as he cried. my heart ached at the sight, but then remembered why we were even here in the first place. i turn back, my grip tightening around the stroller’s handles.

i begin walking away, stopping briefly. “you should’ve moved on the day i left the hotel. we are strangers jaehyun, remember that.” he looks up, tears staining his face. i noticed a shine from his finger, it came from the ring around his left hand. i immediately identified it as the ring i had gotten him for his birthday. 

“w-will i truly never see you again, see her again,” he says, trying to regain his composure. i don’t reply back, leaving him in that park.

on the walk home i made up my mind… i was going through with the interview.

✧˖°ʚ ❁ ɞ♡

i was sat, waiting for jaehyun to arrive. our meeting location was chosen to be at a restaurant, where we were designated with our own room for privacy reasons. honestly, i could care less about the interview. 3 days had passed since our reunion, and i felt that there was still much left to be discussed, so what better way than to talk about it here.

the door slid open, jaehyun stiffened. his mouth falling open, “w-what-” i interrupted him before he could continue. “surprise,” i sarcastically said. he looked out to check if he was in the right room, only to be reassured he was. jaehyun sits down, his head down, not daring to look up. i could tell he was keeping his guard up around me.

i softly sighed, “the person who was set to interview you, broke their leg so they put me as their replacement.” i felt it was only right to explain the situation since i’m sure he was wondering what i was doing here.

when he stayed quiet i continued, “and for the record i accepted it only because i felt that we needed to have a deep talk about everything. let’s put aside the interview for now jaehyun.”

he finally looked up, his eyes meeting mine. “w-where is she?” he asks, stumbling on his words. “she? oh! d/n is with ms.kim. you probably don’t know but ms.kim offered to look after her while i worked,” i explained. it was the truth, ms.kim, since the time i began working again took care of d/n. she argued she’d find a way around working with mr.jeong and babysitting.

however it seems jaehyun was oblivious to this. “m-ms.kim,” he whispers, in which i respond with a nod. “that’s where she’d gone,” he continued. “what do you mean?” i asked.

“well, my father briefly explained that she’d gotten a job somewhere else so she wouldn’t be able to work from certain hours,” he answered. so that’s what she told them, i thought. “mmm, speaking of your father… how is he?”

“i guess he’s alright. the old man and me aren’t doing so well, so it’s hard to say…” he says, stopping briefly to take a sip of his water that was placed there by the waiter before he even arrived. “ever since you left, he got pretty upset with me. he forced me into the family company, didn’t even wanna consider me his son. i mean it didn’t matter to me, i deserved it after all.”

i stayed quiet, not knowing what to say at his revelation. “s-so, tell me about her. please, y/n,” jaehyun pleads. i give it some thought before sighing.

“her name is d/l/n. she was born on december 14th. i found out i was pregnant around a month after that day. she was all i had left so i decided to keep her. and god was that the best decision i’ve ever made. yeah, those 9 months were sometimes hell, but i managed. i was scared of being a single mother, but hey look at where i am today,” i explained. his features softened as i continued explaining my past year.

and when i finished he asked, “won’t you let me see her?” i ponder, “i wish, i want to… but, i-i’m not sure if i can trust you yet jaehyun.” “and why is that?” he asks. “b-because of what you did. you broke me completely, crushed up all faith and trust i had for you.”

“t-then give me a second chance,” jaehyun declares. you look at him astonished at his declaration. “w-what do you mean?”

“give me a second chance to prove to you and d/n i can be trusted. i’ll make up for lost time, i’ll love her triple, no infinitely more. please, just please… we don’t even have to go into it thinking we might get together, i-i just want to see my baby girl.”

his voice was getting weaker, practically pleading with me. a second chance, huh. i took my time to think about it, would letting him into out lives be the right choice? i was gambling here, but nonetheless i made my decision.

“f-fine. you better prove yourself worth forgiving, jeong jaehyun.” his face almost lit up, “th-thank you! i most definitely will, i’ll prove to you both. i won’t make the same foolish mistakes. i’ll love d/n, i’ll love you,” he says. i’ll love you. the phrase brought something out of me, touched my heart per say. 

and so after an overdue talk, we cleared up our misunderstandings. we agreed on co-parenting, among other things. the interview then proceeded as planned, and once that was out the way he drove me home. i offered to invite him in, in which he gladly accepted.

ms.kim was shocked to see him show up, confused even but i briefly told her i’d explain it later. d/n was awake, and when i introduced her to jaehyun it was like the most sentimental scene. he cried, heck i probably did too. even more shockingly, d/n warmed up to jaehyun faster than i expected.

it felt like we’d finally become a family, like we could finally live happily ever after. and although i knew the journey was far from being over, i was willing to test the waters. if in the near future jaehyun and i ever get together then we get together, and if we don’t then we don’t.

whatever the future had in store for us, we’d face it once it came. but until then this new life that has bloomed for us like the flowers, will be lived with one another by each other's side.

“you’re my dandelion.”

© jhdyuiee

2024. 08. 18

final a.n: woohoo, we're at the end! writing part 2 like i mentioned was a hassle since i was having writers block, worst feeling ever! on top of that i started school again :(( . not the best couple of weeks but i managed to get this done in a week, nevertheless i really hope you all can enjoy it. thank you for your continued love and support, i truly cannot thank you enough for everything! that being said, i will be taking this upcoming week off, and will hopefully be back to uploading for the last week of august. i love you all berry much! please look forward to jaehyun's solo, JOLO, on august 26! thank you&i love you, jiji signing off 🤍

[rottingworship]

Beg and Bargain

The Proxies x Fem!Reader | Chapter Two

Chapter One

Summary: Tim takes you to your apartment for some essentials, you begin to spill your guts on how you ended up in this situation. Your priorities still aren't straight.

A/N: I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure (real). Also, while I personally (currently) don't write super, duper dark stuff... This will definitely still be toxic. just a warning.

Warnings: murder, name calling (bitch, cunt), gun violence, your best friend and ex have names, you are the cause of a murder, your ex tried to murder you, no use of y/n, not beta'd, flashbacks (please let me know if i forgot something!)

Word Count: 2.9k (o.o)

You are sitting in a car, bloody, dirty, and shoeless. You are staring dead ahead with a look of fear on your face. You fiddle with the hem of your bloodied sweater and deeply inhale. Your stomach is feeling sick again, and you can’t tell if it’s from lack of food or the fact that Brian and Toby thought it would be best to blindfold you to get you out of the woods.

“Can’t have you knowing where you are, at least for now.” Brian told you.

You sat in the car, breathing heavily from anxiety. Not being able to see kind of makes you powerless. You had waited patiently for Tim to tell you to take the blindfold off.

“You can take that off now,” Tim had said, smirking, you could hear it.

Now, you are just sitting. “I don’t know why they blindfolded me,” You cross your arms. “Not like I could find that place again even if my life depended on it.” Let’s hope it doesn’t. You want to cry again. The feeling hits you out of nowhere. You refrain from it.

“Are we close?” Tim asks. You can’t tell if he’s trying to get your mind off of everything or get his mind off of something.

“Oh, yeah,” You snort, feeling silly. “Take a right up here. Then you’ll see an apartment complex.” Tim follows your instructions, and you see it. “Yeah, that one right there. I don’t think there are any others, so it’s kinda obvious…” You trail off. He pulls up and you give him the code to get in.

“This place is nice…” Tim takes the place in.

“Yeah,” You look at the parking lot, “especially for this little town, huh?” You are on edge. You are looking for someone’s car, Tim seems to be able to clock that from a mile away.

“Who are you looking for?” He suddenly sounds stern.

You give him an awkward, nervous smile. “I don’t live alone…” His jaw clenches. “She’s not here though! She works first shifts, and I don’t see her car.” You reassure him. Tim nods, parking the car. You realize you have to walk across the pavement to the apartments. You sigh. “Can you, like, drop me off at the door?”

“No.” Tim shakes his head. “I can carry you?” He offers.

You shake your head. You suck in air, sighing. “I’ll just walk and get sick.” Tim does not respond. He doesn’t find it amusing it would seem. You get out of the car and the cold concrete can be felt through the bandages on your feet. You want to hurry towards the building but know you can’t. Your feet and legs burn already. Maybe you should have taken Tim up on that offer…

No one seems to be in the lobby when you walk in. Tim seems on edge. You walk towards the elevator and Tim stops in his tracks. You turn to him. “No, we are not taking the stairs. I’m hurt and I live on the fourth floor.” Tim doesn't want to argue. Maybe he feels bad for you, maybe he just doesn’t want to cause a scene. You can’t tell. You both enter the elevator and lean back against the railing. You look up at the mirror on the ceiling and realize just how fucked up you look. You see a leaf in your hair. You pull it out.

Tim groans, “Sorry, Toby said he got all of those out. I told him I’d do it, but he insisted on being the one to pull all the twigs and leaves out of your hair.”

“How sweet.” You deadpan.

The elevator stops and the both of you make your way out. You lead Tim down the hallway and to your apartment. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“I don’t have my key.”

Tim looks uneasy.  You try to think of a way to get in and the door swings open. You let out a short scream and jump into Tim. He grunts and steadies you.

“What are you doing at home? And… You’re with a man?”

“Val!” You whisper, “you’re supposed to be at work!” You speak through gritted teeth.

Val’s eyes look over you and they widen. You tense. Tim’s hand goes to the small of your back immediately. She wants to pull you into the apartment, her hand twitches. You see her gears turning. You suck in air through your nose, jaw clenched.

“Can we come in?” You ask.

As you say ‘we’ Val’s eyes move to Tim. She is frozen. After a short moment of awkward silence, Val moves to the side. You rush in, Tim hot on your trail. Val closes the door and places her back to it.

“Can I-”

“No,” you respond before she can say anything. “I’m just here to collect some things. I’m still on vacation.” You reassure her.

“You packed before you left.” She states it, her eyes not leaving Tim. She can see how bloody you are, and how clean Tim is. She is obviously connecting dots that something is wrong, and completely off.

“I know love,” Your voice suddenly changes, Tim notices it. “Do not worry about me.” Val nods, her eyes glazing over. “I’m just here to grab some shoes and some essentials. I promise, everything is okay,” You lie.

“Everything is okay…” She responds. Her voice is monotone. She turns and goes to her room.

You turn away from Tim and walk towards your room. You grab a duffle bag, the only bag you hadn’t taken on vacation, and begin to fill it. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes. You quickly wipe your eyes and try to sniffle quietly.

“Are you crying?” Tim asks softly, but still completely on edge.

“No.” You snap. You walk to your bathroom, Tim close behind you still. “Can you get off my ass?” You mumble. Tim shakes his head, you see it from the corner of your eye. You turn around and narrow your eyes. You cross your arms and look at him. “I promised Val I’d never fucking do that to her!” Your voice is dangerously low. “And I just- I just did…” You break.

“Are you-” Tim starts. He doesn’t finish. He knows whatever he’s about to say is going to set you off a little more.

“I’m fucking terrified…” You are crying; trying to keep from sobbing. “I don’t know what’s going on, what’s going to happen-” You stop yourself. You wipe your face again and let out a guttural groan. You turn from Tim and grab some of the things around the bathroom. You throw face wash, a toothbrush, deodorant, body wash, tampons, and some hair care into your bag. You aren’t sure how long you’ll be gone. You are preparing for the worst.

You go back to your bed and sit down. You look at the different shoes and grab the most comfortable pair of sneakers and then a pair of socks. You look down at your feet. You examine the somewhat bloody and definitely dirty bandages.

“They need to be redone.” Tim clocks his tongue. “The bandages.”

No shit. You refrain from saying something stupid. “I’ll just- We can redo these later. I need to get the fuck outta here.” You slide an old pair of Crocs on and shove the shoes and socks in your bag. In all, you had grabbed a couple outfits, some essentials (that probably shouldn’t have been priority), and most importantly, shoes. You throw the bag over your shoulder and walk by Tim and out of your room.

“I’m leaving!” You shout to Val. “I love you!”

“I love you!” She replies, a little more joyous than how she sounded earlier. But she still doesn't sound… Normal.

You walk back towards the elevator. You and Tim step in and you notice him staring at you. You give him a funny look. “You didn't change your clothes. Didn't you wanna do that?” He furrows his brows.

“After I shower. I need to scrub this dirt and blood off of me.” Tim stares at you harder as you smash the ground floor button. “What?”

“You don't wanna shower at your apartment?”

“Didn't know that was an option… I was just hoping that ‘Toby’s place’ has hot water.” Your use of air quotes makes Tim laugh. You aren't sure if that’s reassuring or not. You let it go.

“It does. Probably not for long. But it does.” 

You nod. You make your way back out to the parking lot and into the car. You throw your bag in the back seat and sit back up front. You look down at the blindfold and back at Tim. “Do I need to–”

“Not yet.” He shifts in his seat. You nod and bite the inside of your lip. “Your roommate… she knows about your–”

“Yes.” You cut him off. “She knows about my ability.” Duh. “She thinks I’d never use it on her…”

“You never have?” He asks, his voice genuine and curious.

“No!” You shake your head. “Not until just a bit ago! I had never really, um– I never used it for anything bad until last night.”

Tim's grip on the steering tightens. “What do you mean ‘bad’.”

“Well, I really just did little things. Mostly when I would drink… I haven't drank in a while though. But last night– I wasn't drinking, I was minding my own business and I– I did what I had to do! I did the only thing I could do!”

“What did you do?” You know he's trying to get information, really. What else would he be doing? But you're emotional and about to bust from keeping everything to yourself.

“He had a gun! He was gonna shoot me!” You are panicking, recounting it. You are remembering too well.

_-_-_-_-_

You were in the middle of the woods. Your eyes were wide and full of fear.

“Do not think about it, bitch!”

“Please, John!” You begged. “I'm not– I won't tell anyone. I'll do anything– please…”

“Anything?” He questioned you. You nodded. “Aw,” he feigns sadness, “now you wanna be a slut? Too bad. Should’a thought about that when we were together.”

You stared in horror. “John. You have a great life! You are literally doing what you've always wanted! Being private investigator–”

“Do not use that magic on me, witch bitch!”

“What are you– What do you mean?” You were shocked to your core.

“I heard about what you can do. I had to come back to see for myself. Y'know, it makes sense. The free drinks at the bar? Thought it was just ‘cause of the way you dressed. But thinking about it, you definitely had those bartenders in a fucking trance, huh?” You were stunned. “Also, the fact you made me leave you alone when you didn't wanna–”

That struck a chord. “I never used that on you!”

John's eyes darkened and his smile widened. That was all the evidence he needed. You wanted to kick yourself. His hand moved to the gun on his hip and you let out a shout before he was on top of you covering your mouth. The both of you tussled briefly, but you ended up on the floor. The gun was pressed to your temple. You began to cry. Hard.

“Oh, shut up cunt.” He growled out. “I should make you suffer. For all the things you've done… I'm nice though, I promise this will be quick.”

You began to panic. His hand moved from your mouth and he steadied himself over you. You used that to your advantage.

“Get off of me.” Your voice did not break. Your eyes locked with his. His eyes glazed over and he moved off of you.

“No!”

You furrowed your brows at John. Most people did not break away that fast. He pointed the gun at you again.

“Stop. Put the gun down.” He listened. “I do not want to hurt you. Please leave and just forget about this.” You plead with him. “I'm not using my ‘magic’, just leave.”

John screamed, frustrated and infuriated. “Are you mocking me!?” The gun is pointed back at you again.

Fuck, I'm gonna have to– “Put the gun to your head.” You knew you couldn't look away. Not if you wanted it to work.

“Stop!” He was beginning to beg. “You will regret this!”

“Then leave!” You shouted.

“I can't let you go!” He was forceful.

You still had a grip on him. The gun was still against his temple. “Put your finger on the trigger.” Tears brimmed your eyes. What the fuck am I doing? You felt incredibly sick and confused. You did not want to die, but you also did not want to kill him.

“Please! I’ll leave!” His voice broke.

You held back a sob. You knew that wasn’t true. He was lying. He was going to kill you.

“Pull the trigger.”

As soon as his finger pulled it, you looked away, a strangled scream escaping you. You hit the ground and let out a loud wail. You had just been the cause of death to someone you once loved.

_-_-_-_-_

You bring yourself back to reality, “He was gonna kill me!” You can’t breathe. You’re gripping your chest and gasping. Tim’s hands are tight on the steering wheel. “I didn’t have a choice! He knew, and if I didn’t-”

“How many people know?” Tim seems concerned.

“Only Val! I thought… but she wouldn’t tell anyone. Especially John. He was always-” You cut yourself off and make some hand motions. “Kinda off. She knew that! But he still knew… Said I was gonna regret it if I killed him…”

“Sorry,” Tim cuts you off. “Gotta blindfold you now.” He pulls over on the side of the road, seemingly feeling some type of why about your outburst of sadness. You can’t pick up on it. You nod and he grabs the blindfold, asking you to turn for him. You oblige. You seem to always oblige. “Why were you in the woods? When Toby found you?”

“Oh,” You huff, “just blindfold me and act like nothing is weird about that…” You decide to continue anyway. “John took me out there. Said something about, I don’t know, showing me something? He was too strong to even fight against anyway. And I kinda knew I could get away if needed… Didn’t expect that though.”

There is silence. Tim doesn’t seem to have any more questions. You breathe in steadily, trying to ignore the fact you are blindfolded in a car with a man you still really do not know. Realizations are hitting left and right, and there is nothing you can do. Not at the moment.

The car begins to slow down and comes to a halt. You sit there. Tim unbuckles, you hear it. You wait for instruction on what to do next. Tim picks up on that.

“Hold on,” he says, opening his door, “I’ll help you out. I’m gonna grab your bag.” His door closes and the door behind you opens. You hear rustling and the door shuts. Your door opens and a hand grabs your bicep, and you are pulled from the car. You duck down, and a hand touches your head, keeping you from bonking it on the car.

Tim steadies you and begins to walk forwards, leading you towards what you hope is the cabin. You really hope he brought you back to the cabin. When you hear leaves crunching ahead of you, you only grow more tense.

“Wh-what are you wearing!?” Toby is ahead of you, seeming to be dying of laughter.

You gasp. “Toby! I’m wearing my crocs!”

“And your bl-bloody clothes!” He laughs harder.

You just cannot win. You move to take your blindfold off and freeze. Your fingers are holding the tied part, and your breathing is slow.

“You can take it off.” Brian speaks up. You listen. You take it off fast and you’re ready to run for Toby, again. “I wouldn’t.” Brian warns, “You remember what happened this morning.”

He has a point. You hate it, but he has a point… You look over at Tim. “Thanks for carrying that. I’m gonna head inside and shower.” You grab the bag and smile as you thank him. “You have hot water?” You look at Toby. When he shrugs, you let out a guttural groan.

“J-just fucking with y-you. I do, b-but the hot wa-water heater isn’t th-that great.”

You want to swing on him. You do not. You nod and trudge inside. You know Tim is going to tell them everything that happened. You do not care. You just want to shower. You get into the bathroom and place your bag down. You pull out your new clothes and place them on the sink and look at the shower.

You do not know how this one works…

You let out a little cry and walk back out of the bathroom and onto the front porch. “Hey!” You shout at the three of them. “I need help!”

“Showering?” They all say in unison.

“No!” You stomp your foot, “I need help starting it…” You feel stupid.

“Oh,” Toby walks up to the porch and right past you, towards the bathroom. He easily starts it and leaves. He says nothing else. You want to die. You close and lock the door.

“This is going to suck…” You begin to unwrap your feet. You don’t even know what sucks more. Your situation or the way your feet are going to burn in that water.

When you get in, you decide in the moment, it’s definitely your feet.

[joedirtymadre]

Assignment

YUTA X READER! FLUFF! (Please send more requests... IM BEGGING)

You let out a deep sigh. “Something on your mind (Y/N)?” Panda asked. You were in the middle of eating lunch with Toge, Maki, and Panda. “I don’t know… I guess, or I don’t know if I’m overreacting…” you trailed off as you let out another sigh. “Well spit it out already,” Maki said. 

“I think Yuta is avoiding me,” you blurted out. “Yuta?” Panda asked. “Yeah! This whole week every time I’ve spotted him and tried to talk to him, he’d always have somewhere he has to be. I understand being busy, but at this point it just seems like he’s trying to avoid me,” you explained. “That doesn’t sound like Yuta,” Maki said as she rubbed her chin. “Bonito flakes,” Toge said. 

“Whew, so I’m not crazy,” you let out a sigh of relief. “Did you guys have a fight or something?” Panda asked. “Not that I can remember…” you started, closing your eyes trying to think back to any possible moment. 

“Wait, well… there was one day where…” you trailed off.

Flashback

“Yuta!” you called out as you raced over to your friend. “Oh, hey (Y/N). How are you?” He asked. “Tired, just came back from a mission,” you groaned. “Really, well I’m glad you’re-” he stopped himself. You looked up and noticed his eyes focused on your stomach. You glanced down and noticed him staring at your large gauze pad. You zipped up your jacket, not wanting to bring too much attention to it.

“What happened?” he asked softly. “N-Nothing crazy, this cursed spirit just had quite a few tricks up their sleeve. One of them just caught me by surprise,” you explained. “I’m fine though! I already have a new assignment planned for tomorrow, so no big deal,” you smiled. “What? You already have an assignment planned for tomorrow? Why?” He asked, his tone slightly raising. “Huh? What do you mean? There’s a cursed spirit found in an abandoned apartment complex that needs to be dealt with, why wouldn’t I take it?” You asked him. “Then I’ll tell the principal to send me instead,” he said.

“What? Why?” You asked, confused. “Because you should stay here and heal, why are you already taking another assignment when you’re injured?” He asked. “Because I told you already that I’m fine, why are you making this a big deal? Besides, you already have a whole load of assignments to do,” you replied. “It’s fine, it’s just one more. So tomorrow stay here on campus, I’ll deal with it,” he said firmly. 

“No way, why are you acting this way?” you asked. “Because you should stay here and rest, what if tomorrow you die because of your injuries?” He asked. “I said I’m fine, why are you making this a big deal? I’ve seen you come back with way more bandages than me and you never thought about staying back to rest. So why should I?” you asked. “Because I’ve always been fine! But you-” you cut him off. 

“I’m what? Not strong enough?” You questioned him. “N-No, that wasn’t what I was gonna say,” he stuttered. “Then what? Why are you treating me like I’m some flower? I’m a sorcerer just like you and if I think I’m fit enough to take on another assignment then I should be able to,” you said. “Because… I don’t want you to-” he stopped himself. “You’re right, I shouldn’t be stopping you from doing your assignments…” he trailed off as he turned to walk off. You stared at his back as he walked off, wondering what just happened.

End of flashback

“I see,” Maki said. “Was I in the wrong? But seriously you guys I was completely fine, it was just a cut!” you said. “Yeah I get it, but it doesn’t hurt to have someone worry about you,” Maki replied. “I get that, but to go as far as try to take over my assignment just to keep me here? All because of a cut?” You sighed. The others stayed silent, unsure what to say.

“Well at the end of the day, the only way to really find out is by asking Yuta,” Panda said. “Trust me, I’ve tried,” you replied. “Well then… let’s corner him,” Maki said with a mischievous look in her eyes. “Salmon,” Toge nodded. “So we’re all in, now what’s the plan?” You smiled. 

Later

Maki, Toge, and Panda all walked towards Yuta. “Yuta!” Panda called out. “Oh, hey you guys!” He smiled back. “Are you off to your dorm?” Panda asked. “Yeah, I finished my assignment early, so I’m just going to spend the rest of the day relaxing,” he replied. “What were you guys doing?” Yuta asked. “Nothing much, we just finished having lunch with (Y/N),” Maki replied. “I see,” he nodded. “Kelp?” Toge asked. “I’m fine, it’s just that (Y/N) and I had a little argument… and I feel bad,” Yuta confessed. “An argument?” Panda asked. “Yeah, I was being a little much, but…” he trailed off. “But… don’t you think you should tell this to (Y/N)?” Maki asked. “I don’t think that’s a good idea… I’ve been secretly avoiding her all week. I’d have to explain that too…” he said nervously. “Well you can just tell her now,” Panda said. “Huh?” Yuta asked. 

Panda slowly turned to the side to show you clinging to his back. “I’ve got you,” You said with an evil look in your eyes. “(Y-Y/N)!? W-Why are you clinging onto Panda?” He asked nervously. “Because if I didn’t sneak up on you, you would’ve run away again. But now that I hear that you’re free the rest of the day, we can finally have a chat,” you said as you quickly hopped off of Panda’s back. “O-Oh is that G-Gojo calling me?” He asked as he tried to run off, but you quickly grabbed a hold of his collar.

“Not this time,” you said and dragged him off to your dorm. “Bye Yuta!” Panda waved, following with Maki and Toge. “H-Help…” Yuta said softly as you continued to drag him away.

You quickly tossed him into your room, once entering you placed a chair in front of the door and sat down. “No escape, Yuta~” you said in a sing-song tone. “W-What is there to talk about?” He asked nervously. “Let’s see… how about you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me all week? Is it really because I didn’t take that day off?” You asked. “N-No! Well, not necessarily,” you said, avoiding your eyes. “Then what is it? Why have you been ignoring me? Don’t you know how much it h-hurts my feelings, knowing that you’re avoiding me?” you asked softly. 

“I d-didn’t mean to hurt you!” He said abruptly. “It doesn’t seem that way…” you trailed off. “I’m sorry I got hurt, I’m not perfect and that cursed spirit caught me by surprise… So why am I being punished by having an off day?” you asked. “I’m sorry (Y/N)! Believe me, I’ve been acting stupid! I just…” He let out a deep breath. “I just hated seeing you injured… W-Whenever I see you hurt… i-it hurts m-me…” he stuttered. You noticed his face turn a deep red. “I care about you too Yuta, it’s not fun for me seeing you all bandaged up after an assignment,” you said softly, feeling your face get hotter.

“Y-You do?” His face turned darker. “Then… I-I have something to say!” He blurted out. “Ok tell me,” you smiled. “I-I… well I, I think… no! I know! Well I-I just really uh… and-” you slowly stood up from your chair and walked over to the stumbling boy. You softly cupped his face, bringing his attention to you. “It’s ok Yuta, just take your time,” you smiled. “I like you (Y/N),” you blurted out. Your eyes widened by the sudden confession. Yuta froze because of your lack of reaction, “I t-take that back! It’s fine, just pretend I never said-” you cut him off with a small peck on his cheek. 

“Jeez, at least give me a minute to collect my thoughts before you try running away again,” you huffed. “H-Huh?” he blushed. “I was just caught by surprise… a really, really n-nice surprise,” you said, feeling your ears burn. “Does this mean you like me too?” He asked, cupping your hands. “W-Well it’s not like I’m kissing every guy I see…” you said nervously. You were suddenly pulled into a tight hug, “I’m sorry I was being so mean the other day. It just hurts seeing you hurt, no matter the size of the injury. That’s why I wanted to take your other assignment, because if you ever-” you cut him off.

“Don’t think so negatively, just… let’s just enjoy this moment. No matter how long we’re together, ok?” You asked. “Yeah,” Yuta smiled. You sneaked another quick peck on his cheek, giggling at his beet red face. “You’ll make me have a heart attack…” Yuta sighed. “Sorry!” you laughed, as you both continued to hold each other.

[lincolndjarin]

Oh Honey. ✩ Chapter 5

chapter five : i'll decide where to go from here

series masterlist ao3 kofi main masterlist

a/n : happy last chapter of oh honey!!!! took a while to get out bc i was briefly on hiatus and then was in a slump (whoops) but here it is. this is another case of me writing an ending before the story so this has been the intended ending since i started and i hope you all like it as much as i do

pairing : monster!joel miller x mortician!reader

rating : 18+ mdni - explicit content, read all warnings

word count : 6.4k

summary : a look into the past and present of life in honey, west virginia

warnings, etc. : language, allusions to sex, angst & fluff, complicated relationships and people who are trying to handle them, an obscene amount of flashbacks, reader has hair and is carried by Joel, several timelines in no particular order.

“C’mere, bunny.” His stubble brushes against the back of your neck, his mouth is warm as you feel a kiss placed against your spine. 

“Mmm, what’s on the agenda for today?” You hum, pushing back against him a bit, the camper’s freezing in the winter, your heater broke a week ago and the parts Joel ordered to fix it won’t be in for a week. So you’re stuck with a little space heater you’d bought at the hardware store. 

“I was thinkin’ we’d just do this for a while.” His arms tighten around your waist and stomach with a sigh. “We could just stay in today, order food, watch a movie on your laptop.” He yawns before nestling close against you. 

“It’s too cold to stay here, it’s supposed to snow all weekend, it’s only gonna get worse. Maria even closed the home early yesterday” You groan, rolling over in his arms to press your face into his neck. The tips of your nose and ears are freezing, the two of you are under all the blankets you own, bundled up, when you peer out the window you can see the snow falling and settling on the trees. 

Joel mumbles into your hair, deeply inhaling. “Why don’t you pack a bag and we can head back to the house then. You can stay until Monday and can fix the heat while you’re at work.” 

“I hate staying at your place, all of my shit is here.” You spend most weekends at Joel’s, it’s easiest that way, but packing up all of your things and bringing them back and forth is getting tiring. 

“Just bring it with you.” 

“I think you underestimate how much stuff I need for four days.” You’re already giving yourself a headache trying to make a mental list of everything you’ll need. 

“Why don’t you just move in.” He mumbles with another yawn. “It would make it easier for both of us if all your stuff was there.” It isn’t until he realizes that you’re frozen in place that he opens his eyes. “Or not, just a thought.” 

You stammer an excuse, hoping to alleviate the tension that’s suddenly lingering between you. “I just- I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

“I didn’t mean to rush you, just thought I’d offer.” He shrugs before pulling you close again.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper into his chest.

“Don’t be. You’re right, it’s too soon for that.” 

You’ve been together for a year now, you almost never sleep apart, if anything you should have moved in six months ago. 

What’s stopping you? 

You’ve been distancing yourself from any concrete commitments for sometime now and even if he never says it you know it bothers him. When do you stop punishing him for something you claim you’ve forgiven him for? He doesn’t hurt people as often anymore, at least he’s trying harder not to. But it’s getting hard for the both of you to keep up this system of locking yourselves in his room for a week every month. 

Sometimes your cycle syncs with Maria and Sarah has to drive in from out of town to watch Ellie, it’s just generally become harder to manage. 

But you can’t leave him when he’s like that. 

On the rare occasion that you’re too exhausted to stay awake and entertain him he’ll end up in the woods and a massacred corpse ends up on your table when you return to work. 

Everytime you think you’ve found forgiveness and acceptance you’re reminded of the fact that you love a monster. A selfish choice that you make every day. And everytime you tell him you can’t live with the guilt he gives you the same option. 

Kill him. 

You’re sure he doesn’t mean to make it sound so grim, each of you have complicated relationships with death. You just don’t think you’ll be able to live without him, and it’s not like he expects you to kill him yourself, he always tells you he’ll handle it with Tommy but you always shoot the idea down and you’re back to square one. 

“I just need a little more time, I promise this isn’t forever.” You mumble as you sit up.

“I’d do anything for you, anything at all. Just tell me what to do.” 

You don’t doubt that. But he still doesn’t give you what you actually want, all you ask of him is options that don’t involve him, or any more innocent people, on your cadaver cart.

The bed is empty when you wake up. 

You knew it would be when you went to bed alone last night but a part of you, after all this time, still feels incomplete when the sheets beside you are cold. The creaking under the floorboards is the only noise in the house. 

Your alarm clock reads 6:58 a.m. and you know it’s only a matter of minutes before you need to be up so you throw the blankets aside, stretch your arms above your head, and stand. Right on cue you hear the familiar stomping down the hall before your door swings open, Ellie rubs her eyes before scurrying over to you. Her hair’s in disarray, having fallen out of the braid you put it in last night, you scoop her up into your arms, trying to smooth the mess down. 

“Good morning, little monster.” You mumble, kissing her cheek before carrying her down the hall and into the kitchen. You can’t help but wonder how much longer she’ll be small enough to hold like this. She’s already almost too heavy for you to lift for this long, and the living room and kitchen are still decorated with banners and deflating balloons from her sixth birthday party yesterday. 

Kids birthdays, elementary school, home owning? 

Even after a couple years it’s still a little dizzying that this is your life now. You set her down at the table, retrieving the generic sugary cereal you’ve grown fond of from the cabinet along with bowls, spoons, and milk, setting them down on the table in front of her. 

“Can I feed the sheep before we go?” She says before reaching for her spoon, you nod.

“If you brush your teeth without giving me a hard time.” You fill your bowls, you have to remind her to slow down a few times as she shovels cereal into her mouth, eager to go out to the barn. You’re only halfway through your bowl when she runs off in the direction of her room.   

You hear the telltale sounds of her pushing her step stool across the tile of the bathroom as she rummages through the cabinet. As you finish up your own food and tidy up you make a mental list of everything you need to do today. 

Get Ellie ready for school. 

Tend to the sheep. 

Drive Ellie to school. 

You take your phone out of your sweatpants pocket, 7:16, and text Maria to make sure they’re still good to take her this weekend. Ellie hums as she brushes her teeth when you peer into the bathroom before making your way into your own room, changing quickly, you’ve got about an hour before you need to leave. 

Drive Ellie to daycare. 

Grocery shopping. 

Oil change. 

Making lists helps. You like knowing what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it, you’ve had enough surprises in your life, you don’t like when the routine changes. Without your routine you’d lose yourself entirely. Ellie helps, she likes structure as much as you do, you stand behind her in the bathroom now watching her finish up and making sure she did a good job. The sparkling stone on the counter catches your eye, a reminder that you’re constantly forgetting your ring. It’s a bit much for your taste but it’s a family heirloom and Joel insisted. Sliding it onto your finger as Ellie hands it to you.

Check on Ellie.

Clean the house. 

Make dinner. 

Before she can run back to her room you gently pull her back by the collar of her shirt, grabbing a hair tie off the counter you tie her hair in a ponytail before letting her go get dressed. By the time she’s ready you’ve got your jacket on, holding Ellie’s coat out for her to stick her arms through the sleeves. She already has a toothy grin plastered on her face as you both step out of the sliding doors leading to the backyard. You take her hand, knowing she’ll run ahead if given the chance, you know better than to let her out of her sight.

Dangerous things live in the woods of Honey. 

She’s pulling you along through the short path between the trees leading to the barn with a fence surrounding it. Once you’re in the clearing you let her run ahead, once you’re able to see everything around you. The air is icy and damp as you follow after her, opening the gate as she slips under the fence. The sun is just starting to break through the trees, it’s still too cold for the sheep to be out, there isn’t much exposed grass for them to eat anyway. You’ve been keeping them in the barn most days unless it warms up, today isn’t one of those days. With a high pitched giggle Ellie rushes inside, you hear the familiar sounds of bleating as she greets all of them by name. 

You watch in momentary silence as you make your own way into the barn, enjoying her little smile that warms up the freezing barn. 

“Did you turn in your project yesterday?” You sit on a hay bale, watching her run amongst the sheep before turning to you, nose red from the chill. You hadn’t gotten to ask her about it since you’d been so busy with her party, it wasn’t really a “project.” Just a little assignment for the kids in her class, to draw something important to them. 

Of course Ellie had wanted to draw her father, something you were happy to help with until she held the crayon in her fist and began to draw the sharp angles and pointed claws that you realized she couldn’t show it off to her class. You let her finish the drawing. It’s remarkable really, how someone so small and vulnerable can portray such a frightening creature without fear. 

She loves him, that’s why. 

You love him too but that doesn’t mean he didn’t terrify you. No amount of strange magical connection was going to change the fact that he scared you. The difference of course is that Ellie doesn’t know what he’s done. You had encouraged her to draw a background, concealing the mass of flesh and teeth in darkness and trees until only the two of you knew what hid behind the blue and green. Together you decided that it was a drawing of her favorite place. The national forest on the edge of town. 

“Good, Riley guessed what it was though.” She says as she pats one of the lambs gently on the back. 

“She guessed it was the Manangahela National Forest?” You give her a skeptical smile as she fills a bucket with feed before emptying it into the trough. 

“Monongahela.” She corrects you proudly. 

After all this time, you still never get it right. 

“Smart ass.” You grumble under your breath as she carefully lifts the hose, filling the water buckets. 

“Ass.” She says with a grin. 

“Don’t say that.” You point at her sternly, stifling a laugh. 

With a small huff she turns the hose off and rushes over to sit beside you and watch them. 

“She said the forest was my favorite so it was easy.” She mumbles, briefly captivated by the sheep. 

“She’s a good friend for knowing that.” You like Riley, you’ve watched the two girls play together several times before, she’s a good influence on Ellie as far as you can tell. 

“Mhmm.” She hums, the silence returning between the two of you as you both watch the sheep.

You don’t tell her that you’re going to butcher one of them tonight. 

You know that she can handle it. At this point in her life she can handle much more than any other six year old you’ve ever met but you just aren’t ready for that sort of thing yet. You haven’t been a parent long enough to know the proper way to go about that sort of thing. 

“Time for school, kiddo.” You stand up abruptly and take her hand again, watching as she yells back to the sheep, saying goodbye to each and everyone of them. 

The truck sits idly in the driveway but you ignore it, opening the door of your own car, Ellie throws her backpack in before climbing in herself. It was the first thing you’d bought with Darlene’s money. (The second thing you did was help Sarah with her student loans and put aside some for Ellie.) You hated driving the truck, it was too big and too loud, this just felt safer for driving Ellie around. Once she’s buckled into her seat you make your way over to the driver's side. The radio plays some rock song that immediately has her squealing in the backseat, with a grin you turn it up as you pull out of the driveway. 

“Is she my mom now?” 

You had been walking past Ellie’s room after your shower, wearing one of Joel’s flannels with the towel wrapped around your hair when her voice froze you in place, her bedroom door cracked open. 

“That’s not exactly how that works, kiddo.” His voice has a nervous lilt to it you don’t often hear from him. 

“Then why is she always here?” She sits up a bit and you hold your breath as Joel’s brow furrows. 

“Is that a problem?” God you hope not. 

“No, I like her.” The tension in his face relaxes with your own. 

“I’m glad you do. I like her too.” 

“So when will she become my mom?” Her persistence on the issue makes you feel as awkward as he currently looks. 

“She’ll become your mom if she wants that. But that probably won’t happen until we’re married, and I don’t know if she wants that yet either.” There’s a beat of silence, you’re heart skipping a beat at the earnestness of the conversation. The silence is quickly interrupted by the little one screaming your name as you rush back to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door to try and make it seem like you hadn’t been listening. 

“Yes, little monster?” You make a real show of stepping loudly down the hall as you push the door open. You’re greeted by the sight of Ellie trying to wriggle out of a rather flustered Joel’s arms, face red and flushed as he tries to shove her under her blankets. 

“She’s just messin’ around.” He grumbles before throwing a pillow at the giggling mess. 

Her voice calling your name from the backseat snaps you out of your thoughts. 

“What’s up?” You turn the music down as you glance at her in the rearview mirror. 

“Can Riley come over today after school if her mom says it’s okay?” 

“You’re going to Uncle Tommy’s tonight, love. I’ll text her mom and see if she’s okay with picking her up from there if he gets you guys after school. Does that sound okay?” She nods happily when you look in the mirror before going back to singing along with the radio. When you pull up to the parent drop off you get out of the car to unbuckle her, kneeling down in front of her as she pulls her backpack straps over shoulders. 

“Can we have a birthday party with Dad when he gets back?” She tilts her head to the side as she asks, you lean forward and kiss her on the cheek before pulling her into a hug. 

“Absolutely we can.” You give her a soft smile before her attention is diverted towards a group of her friends. “Be good today, I love you.” 

“Love you, bye!” She leans in to give you a kiss on your own cheek before rushing off, you watch her go, waiting until she’s in the building before getting back in the car. You send a quick text to Riley’s mom and Maria, scheduling plans for the girls before putting the car in drive as you head off towards a neighboring town. Honey has a grocery store but on days like this where you have so much free time you like to go to the nicer ones out of town. 

You turn the radio off now that it’s just you, cranking the heat to keep warm as you drive in silence. 

“We should get married.” You had brought the idea up, much to his surprise. About a year ago, as you were setting up for Ellie’s fifth birthday party, a year after you’d finally moved in. 

“Are you serious?” He had been laying on his back, under the camper, working on the more technical aspects of the project. In his shock he’d rolled himself back out to stare at you. 

Why wouldn’t you be? Sure, it took a lot of effort on his part but you finally feel like you’ve stopped holding everything against him. You had hoped that he knew that by now. 

“Why not? Everyone already thinks we are, everyone at Ellie’s school calls her my daughter, Tommy’s been teasing me about it for ages-” He pulls himself to his feet, quickly putting his hands on your shoulders. 

“Bunny, slow down.” He’s getting flustered, you swear his drawl is thicker when he gets like this.

“You’re the one who always says I take things too slow.” You frown, turning back to the flowers you’d been planting in the boxes under the window but he turns you back around to face him.

“You mean it?” His voice is a whisper and you quickly realize how much this means to him.

“Of course, I mean, we’re going to spend our lives together anyway, why wait.” You give him a reassuring smile as you tilt your head to kiss his cheek, briefly letting yourself indulge in the taste of his skin before pulling back. “As much as I’d love to talk about this more, we should get back to work if we want to finish this before she’s home.” 

He doesn’t say anything else about it as he goes back to running the electrical under the camper and you can’t help but wonder if you crossed a line. Thankfully you’re on a time crunch to finish this and your mind is kept busy. 

The two of you work in silence, almost synchronized as you move from task to task. He brings the cinder blocks out and lines the camper, creating a semi-permanent foundation as you string fairy lights along the outside and finish up planting flowers around the entire thing. Joel attaches the small porch he and Tommy made a few weeks ago that you had painted as you step inside. It’s unrecognizable after all the work the two of you put into it. The ceiling now painted a dark blue, glow in the dark paint dotted along the entire thing, when the sun goes down she’ll be able to see the stars from inside the camper. You painted the walls and changed out the curtains and sheets more to Ellie’s tastes. She’d always loved it here, when Joel was actually busy with work trips she’d stay with you in the camper. Even nowadays with you living with her and Joel she still often asks if she can play in the camper. 

Just as you’re finishing up Joel steps inside as well, testing all of the faucets while wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. 

“Think she’ll like it?” You ask, your fingers nervously twitch as you roll the hem of your shirt between them, he laughs as he leans back against the counter. 

“She’s gonna love it, s’better than any gift I’ve ever gotten her.” You can’t help but smile as he holds his arms out towards you, you quickly step into them, leaning against his chest and taking a deep breath. 

You open your mouth to speak, wanting to address your proposition from earlier quickly so it doesn’t hang in the air for too long but you hear the familiar rumble of Tommy’s truck pulling into the driveway and the two of you quickly rush out of the camper and down the steps. You straighten the bow on the door and quickly lock it. You hear Ellie’s laughter as she runs around the side of the house, Tommy and Maria walking up behind her. 

She’s excited to see both of you, a paper crown announcing her birthday adorns her head as she runs up to hug her father. The second she sees the camper though she darts right past him. 

“Why’s this here?” She yells excitedly, she knows exactly why it’s here instead of sitting stagnant on the piece of property you sold just a few days ago. You smile at Joel, nodding towards her as he leans down to pick her up. 

“She got you a little birthday present, since you’ve been so nice to her and let her come live with us.” He points at you as she immediately starts squirming out of his grasp, tossing her backpack aside as she runs up the little porch steps. She turns around to look at you with a huge smile on her face.

“Are you fucking serious?” She screams. You can’t help it as a laugh slips out of you, thankfully Tommy can’t hold it together either as Joel immediately breaks into a lecture you nudge his shoulder as you hand her the key.

“It’s her birthday, she’s allowed to say it on her birthday.” You murmur through your continued laughter. She wraps her arms around your legs, hugging you tightly before turning around and unlocking the door. “Happy birthday, Ellie.” 

She had loved her party, thankfully. And she loved her new playhouse much to your relief. 

You and Joel laid on opposite sides of her as her little snores filled the camper, she had wanted a campout as a birthday treat and you were both more than willing to oblige. You’re staring up at the faintly glowing stars painted on the ceiling when he sets the box down next to you. You grab it, wanting to ask him more but not wanting to wake Ellie up you open it. 

And you’re met with a ridiculously gorgeous ring. 

Clearly an heirloom but he’s recently had it polished, one large diamond framed by two smaller ones on either side of it. Your eyes are wide as you stare down at it, shimmering in the moon light before sharply turning your head to the man with a dopey smile lying across from you.

“Been carrying that around for a while now, if I’d known you were ready I would’a asked sooner.” His voice is low as Ellie stirs a bit and you both freeze as she rolls over closer to her father. 

Neither one of you speaks again, but the look on your face as you put the ring on was answer enough. 

The beeping brings you back to reality as you scan every item in the self checkout lane. 

You’re only feeding yourself while Ellie’s with Maria and Tommy, so you keep it simple. Another box of cereal, milk, an apple, a loaf of bread and deli meats. You’re pretty sure you have enough cheese and other essentials to get you through the rest of the weekend. On your way up to the checkout counter you grab a bag of dark roast coffee beans and a box of tampons. 

You’re out of both. 

You know you live in memories too often, especially without Joel to keep you in reality. You find him in the past when he isn’t beside you because something needs to fill the aching void that yearns for his smell, his taste, and his touch. And echoes of Joel are almost as good as the real thing. There’s a funny comfort you find in memories. Even unhappy ones. There’s no surprises in memories, you know what’s going to happen and you know you survived it.

Even the bad memories bring you comfort when he isn’t around to do it himself. 

You pay quickly, loading everything into the cooler in the car as you head off in the direction of your mechanic. When you park you’re told it’ll take about fifteen minutes, nodding as you sit in the waiting room, where your mind inevitably wanders to one of the worst memories in the hours following your meeting in the Applebees that has since closed. 

You didn’t pay attention to the road. 

Instead you stared at your hands in your lap as he drove, not bothering with the radio, the two of you stewing in your silence as he pulled into the driveway. You didn’t even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had come around the truck and done that for you, pulling you into his arms and carrying you bridal style up the porch steps and into the house, only stopping to kick the door shut before bringing you to his room, clicking on the lamp he hadn’t bothered to remove, and setting you on the mattress. 

He lays down beside you, taking your face in his hands but you immediately recoil, pushing him away. 

“What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness? To show you I’m sorry? Cause I don’t see a point to any of this if it’s never going to happen, it’ll be better for both of us if we know where we stand.” He’s right, unfortunately. Neither one of you deserves to waste the other's time if this is going to mean nothing. 

If you can’t forgive him.

“Can you at least let me love you? Do you think you can manage that?” His voice is dangerously close to cracking and you have to pray that he doesn’t break. If he can’t hold it together you know you won’t be able to either. “Neither one of us wants to deal with this but we don’t have a choice.” 

“I don’t know.” You mumble, you really don’t know so why answer with anything else? 

“I don’t even need a concrete answer, bunny. I just need to know if someday you’re going to be able to forgive me. I can’t live a life where you keep me at arms length.” 

You hadn’t responded. Just slid closer to him. 

And you let him hold you until you fell asleep, hoping that would be enough. 

Your phone buzzing is what snaps you out of your empty thoughts this time. When you open the notification you’re met with a message from Maria, a photo of Tommy sleeping in the recliner, Ellie sitting in his lap, and Riley sitting on the arm of the chair, watching whatever movie they put on the T.V. 

[ Made it back from school. Watching Treasure Planet. ] 

[ love it ] [ thanks again for taking them ] 

The mechanic returns shortly after, handing you your keys and telling you you’re good to go. The hour drive back isn’t terrible, you opt to listen to music on the way back. It’s quiet when you return home. Putting away the groceries and making yourself a sandwich as you look around the cluttering remnants of the party yesterday, the only sounds are your chewing and the soft creaking and scratching from under the floorboards.

Joel has so much pride for your home. He would hate it if he knew how dirty it was currently, the thought alone has you reaching for an empty trash bag once you’re finished eating. 

You turn all the lights on as the sun starts to set, how much time did you spend daydreaming today? You try not to think too hard about it as you start cleaning up the plastic cups and paper plates that litter every surface of the living room, popping deflating balloons and sweeping up discarded streamers and confetti. There’s a feeling of solace that comes with cleaning the house, making it feel like home once more. 

This isn’t just Joel’s house now, it’s yours as well, even if you thought this would never be the case. 

“I know that you shot down the idea last time but I want to show you something.”

“Joel, I just don’t think…” Your voice trails off as you stare at the key ring he’s holding out towards you. If you can’t guarantee that he won’t hurt people you can’t share a home with him, it’s stupid and it makes you feel childish but you can’t come home to him knowing people are still dying, even if you can’t stay away from him. 

“Just give me a chance to show you.” He puts the keys back into his pocket before taking your hand. Walking you down the hall towards his room, he stops briefly to check in on Ellie, still tucked into her own bed as you peer into her room before he closes her door quietly. “I don’t want you to think that a life with me is going to be only horrors, and I know that a part of you has already resigned yourself to such a thing but you don’t deserve that.” You’re about to interrupt him, tell him that’s not true despite the ache in your chest that tells you he’s right but he’s opening his own bedroom door and you’re too busy staring slack jawed inside. 

It’s unrecognizable from the monster cage he’d created for himself. 

Instead of resting bare and on the floor, the mattress has sheets and now rests on a low to the ground metal frame. The photos that were once taped to the wall are now in frames or pinned to a bulletin board he hung up. 

He put a rug down that covers any claw marks on the floor and he’s done his best to hang up photos and paintings over the scratches on the walls. There’s even furniture now, a nightstand on either side of the bed with a matching dresser, lamps scattered around the room make the space feel warm and lived in. 

“You- you did all this?”

“If you live with me I don’t want you to have to sleep in some sort of creepy homemade dungeon, you deserve an actual bedroom.” He whispers as you look at the paintings on the wall, all of them are Alice in Wonderland themed. “I borrowed those from Sarah’s room, we can change them out when- if you move in.” He quickly mumbles as you look up at a painting of Alice staring into a lake, her own image being reflected back up at her. 

“It’s lovely, it’s perfect Joel.” You turn back to him as he rubs the back of his neck bashfully. 

“This ain’t it, there's a few more surprises for you.” The shocked look remains on your face as he takes your hand once more, bringing you back into the kitchen and out the sliding glass door. 

You had run outside without shoes on and took down the banner hanging on the camper before rushing back in and tossing it in the trash bag. When you look at the clock it’s just a couple minutes from 7:00 p.m. You bring the bag out to the porch before washing your hands. 

You don’t bother taking a shower as you change into your pajamas, setting your ring on your nightstand, not wanting to risk damaging it as you pull up a pair of sweats you don’t care about being ruined and an old shirt you wore when you painted the bathroom a month ago. Grabbing the apple off the counter you shove it into your sweatpants pocket. Shooting Maria one last text and turning your phone on do not disturb, you tell her to say goodnight to Ellie for you before slipping your sneakers on and heading out the back door once more. 

You don’t like going to the barn alone, and you should have put on a proper jacket, without the sun to warm you, your skin prickles with goosebumps. The dark doesn’t frighten you very much anymore, and it’s easy to follow the familiar path even in the dark. Your phone flashlight illuminates the ground in front of you as you walk, you’re trying to remember if there is a specific sheep Ellie isn’t attached to.

Most of the flock is sleeping save for a few stragglers, you decide not to overthink it, grabbing a lead and putting it over the head of the first sheep that’s brave enough to greet you. The unlucky winner is one of the older sheep, making its way over to you the second you open the gate. You reward her bravery with the apple in your pocket, the only sounds in the quiet night are those of chewing as you walk her back towards the house. 

You swung your intertwined hands between the two of you as you walked through the trees behind his house. He must have worked startlingly fast to do that for you, no ones ever put in that sort of effort for you before. 

The sun is just starting to set behind you as he takes a step back and covers your eyes.

“Hey-” You start to object with a giggle as he continues walking you forward. 

“Oh hush, let this be a surprise.” He chuckles as he leads you further down the path before stopping abruptly and lifting his hands. “Surprise.” He whispers, taking a step back.

“Woah.” You exhale in shock as you stare at the barn in front of you. A white fence surrounding it. 

It’s beautiful. 

“Tommy and I grew up on a farm, we can raise whatever you want, pigs, sheep, chickens, anything you want.” He mumbles as he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek. 

“I love that idea, but can I ask why?” You let out a nervous laugh as you turn to raise an eyebrow at him.

“That’s actually a part of your last surprise.” 

“Another?” Your voice pitches up, he built you a fucking barn, what else could he have done for you?

“I want you to know how serious I am about you moving in, I don’t want you to have any doubt.” He mumbles against your temple, inhaling deeply before pulling away and taking your hand one more time. “Come on.” He pulls you back towards the house as the sun sets for good, you walk in the darkness until he brings you to the basement entrance and pulls out the keys he’d offered you. 

Several locks adorn the basement entrance, you sift through your key ring until you find each lock's respective key, letting them drop into the grass as you remove each one. When you swing the heavy metal doors open you’re met with the welcoming warmth that comes from below. Several lamps and space heaters create a warm glow that beckons you down the steps. Almost immediately the sheep pulls away, bleating fearfully. Animals are far more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for, they know when something is wrong. 

You pull her down with you then reach up and let the doors slam down, sealing the poor thing in its tomb with you. 

You drop the lead once the doors are closed, there’s no point in leading the lamb any closer to the inevitable slaughter. 

“I have loved you since I first saw you in that bar. I have loved you every moment since, you could be cruel and terrible and I’d love you still and I’d probably deserve it. But you aren’t. You’re smart, and you care about everything, and you love everyone even if they aren’t worthy of it.” His hands caress your face as he whispers into the night air. “And you feel so much guilt for the things I do even though you shouldn’t. You can forgive me for all that I’ve done but it won’t change the fact that I’m still doing terrible things. I’ve done terrible things for so long that I didn’t really consider any other options, but you deserve other options.” 

He pulls open the basement doors once all the locks are undone, and offers his hand to you. 

“I want to show you that I can change, that I would do anything you need me to do, be anything you need me to be.” 

It’s your choice, take it or leave, he won’t hold it against you if you crack and can’t handle it anymore. But you need him to keep yourself together in the first place so you take his calloused hand in yours and let him lead you down into the darkness. 

The smell of vanilla and pine is dense down here. 

As you descend further down the steps you see the familiar set up, a few lamps and lanterns are scattered throughout the darkness as well as a couple space heaters that are only there for your benefit. A mattress you insist on putting sheets on is pushed against one of the scratched up walls, the blankets and pillows scattered about the space, you walk over to the mess, picking up the scattered quilts as you throw everything back down on the mattress. You can feel the movement behind you, the scratching against the cement as you lay down, even with the heaters it’s cold. Thankfully you know you’ll be warm enough soon.

The panicked baa’s of the sheep are swiftly silenced, replaced with the wet tearing sound that once would have filled you with dread. It’s a bit morbid how comforting you now find them, you roll over as you pull another blanket up over yourself, watching the iron chains drag across the floor as the unseen figure pulls them in different directions. 

You can see movement dancing on the edges of the lamp light, the smell of blood is almost as prominent now as the suffocating sweetness. A smile begins to tease the corners of your mouth as you hear him moving closer, the familiar, gravely voice that calls out from the dark recesses of the basement fills your ears like warm honey. 

“C’mere, bunny.”

a/n : that's a wrap on oh honey folks, once again im sorry i made yall wait so long, i hope it was worth it &lt;3

i no longer have a tag list but for fic updates follow @lincolndjarinnotifs !!

[thegreymarveljedi]

Reunited At Last

(Rebels! Rex x Reader)

Okay! So this is my first time posting a fanfic here and I’m so nervous that something is going to go wrong so please be patient with me!

This is a Rebels! Rex x Reader story with a flashback to the Clone Wars Era. Bear with me for some non lore accurate stuff because it’s fanfic, it doesn’t have to be completely accurate.

The reader and Ahsoka are go friends in this and the reader also knows The Bad Batch as well. She went through Order 66 and stuff so please be kind to me with how I’ve written it.

This fanfic also heavily relies on dialogue directly from Star Wars Rebels Season 2, Episode 3, The Lost Commanders. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED FOR LUCAS FILMS.

Warnings: 18+, Minor DNI, Angst, anxiety attack, allusions to PTSD, hurt/comfort, talk of force visions, SMUTTTTT, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, oral F-receiving, teasing, pet names, order 66 scene, canon-typical violence, pregnancy, force bond and connections work how I need them too, swearing, happy ending.

Words: 13.0k

—————

Mando’a Translations

Ner ad - My son

Buir - Mother (in this context)

Oh ner ad. Udesiir. Haalur ti ni ad’ika - oh my son. Relax. Breathe with me little one

Cyar’ika - Darling

Cyare - beloved

Dala - Woman

Ori’vod - older brother

Di’kuts - idiots

Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum - I love you

Ner Alor’ad - my captain

Su cuy’gar - you’re still alive!

Sha’jika al’verde - Cease fire commander!

Udes verde - Rest soldiers

Su cuy’gar ner alor’ad - you’re alive my captain

—————

I opened my eyes to the feeling of a weight on my chest, the blankets on my cot being rustled before they settled back down. I felt an arm wrapped around my stomach and squeezing gently. I smiled softly and pulled my little, not so little anymore, boy into my arms, scratching his head as he breathed a sighed.

“Did I wake you mom?” He asked and I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s okay ner ad. What’s on your mind?” I asked and my son Cody, peeked up from where he lay in my arms.

“I-I-“ he stuttered, words failing to come out. I pulled him into my arms a little tighter, just holding him and stroking his hair. He calmed down as the minutes ticked by, not saying a word yet but I didn’t mind, I was here for him.

“I had a vision ma..” he said quietly and I tensed briefly before relaxing again, holding my son a little tighter. I took a deep breath before sitting up with Cody in my arms. I manoeuvred him so that he was sat beside me, my arms still around him.

“What was it about honey?” I asked quietly, still in shock that my 14 year old was having visions.

“ I -I think it was about…dad..” he said hesitantly. I flinched a little harder at that and pulled Cody into me even more, trying to hold back the tears that were beginning to form.

“W-what about your father?” I asked quietly and sniffed, trying not to think about the man I love. Or loved I guess.

“I think he’s alive buir,” Cody whispered and I finally let go of him, standing up abruptly only to collapse to the floor.

“Mom!” Cody yelped and came to my side, trying to help me. I was shaking now, having flashbacks to the last time I saw my beloved husband. My breathing became faster and my hands began to clam up.

“Kanan!” Cody yelled as he came in front of me, holding my face in his hands.

“Mom! Mom look at me,” He said and my eyes shifted rapidly to his before darting around the room more, trying to ground myself. Just then the door to our quarters swung open and Kanan appeared, the rest of the Ghost crew in the door way.

“(Y/N)!” Kanan said and came to Cody’s side in front of me, holding my shoulders gently yet firmly. He turned back to look at Hera who knew exactly what that meant. She ushered Zeb and Sabine to the kitchenette to get some water and rations as Ezra came into the room and sat next to Kanan.

“(Y/N), can you hear me?” He said and I felt myself nod, my eyes still darting around. Cody sat there frozen, knowing that mentioning his dad was a difficult subject but not wanting to lie to me.

“What happened Cody?” Ezra asked quietly as Kanan continued trying to pull me out of my panic attack. He held my hands now, trying to let me know that I was safe.

Cody moved over to be closer to Ezra, trying not to trigger me with his words. He leaned over and whispered to Ezra what happened, Ezra looking at him with wide eyes once he finished the explanation.

“(Y/N), you’re okay. Do you know where you are?” Kanan asked and I nodded.

“T-the Gho-ost-“ I stuttered out, my hand blindly reaching for Cody’s hand. He grabbed mine immediately, holding it in his.

“Okay, that’s a start. Do you remember who I am?” He asked next, hands back on my shoulders. I nodded again.

“K-Kanan Jarrus, knight of the Jedi - Jedi order.,” I said, blinking rapidly trying to focus my eyes on Kanan.

“And who are you?” He asked quietly and I closed my eyes, focusing on my surroundings. I held Cody’s hand in mine, my other hand finding purchase on Kanans shoulder and my head finding a place on Ezra’s shoulder. I slowly exhaled before my eyes opened again, lifting my head and looking at Kanan then Ezra and finally looking to my son.

“(Y/N) (L/N), Jedi Master and mother to a beautiful son,” I said and a small smile graced my lips. Cody smiled and launched himself at me as the door to our quarters opened up again, Hera, Sabine and Zeb standing there with some water and rations.

“You okay (Y/N)?” Hera asked and I nodded, my arms wrapped tightly around my Cody, his around me.

“What happened?” Sabine asked and Ezra stood up and took the rations and water from her and Zeb, handing them to Kanan who placed them on the floor next to me. Ezra led Zeb and Sabine to the common room to explain the situation, Hera staying back to make sure I was okay.

“I’m okay Hera. Thanks to you guys,” I said and Cody began to let go.

“I’m sorry mom,” He whispered and hung his head, sniffling.

“Oh ner ad. Udesiir. Haalur ti ni ad’ika,” I said. Cody took a deep breath, following my breathing until his tears stopped forming. Kanan sat there with us, just his presence in the force enough to calm me down. Kanan had become like a brother to me in these last few years, helping me to raise Cody to be a kindhearted boy. Hera was like a sister to me, always making sure that the Ghost was a safe space for me to be. Zeb, Ezra, and Sabine I saw as my kids too. I always wanted to be strong for them.

“You okay now (Y/N)?” Kanan asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked to him and nodded, slowly letting go of Cody and standing up with Kanan’s help.

“I’m okay now. Thank you for your help,” I said and Kanan smiled, pulling me in to a hug.

“Anytime. You would do the same for me,” He replied and Hera walked into the room and pulled me in for a hug too.

“Get some rest (Y/N), we’ll be meeting up with the fleet soon. And I think Ahsoka will be there,” Hera said and Cody lit up at the mention of his Aunt.

“We’re meeting up with Auntie Ahsoka?” He asked, beaming from ear to ear. Kanan and Hera smiled and brought Cody in for a hug, enjoying the child like innocence that Cody displayed.

“We will be soon enough,” Hera replied and Cody jumped coming over to me and giving me a hug. I smiled at my son, happy to see him excited. I then looked to Kanan and Hera who shared a happy look, Kanan wrapping his arm around her.

“Come on kiddo, let’s let your mom get some sleep okay?” Kanan said and Cody nodded but didn’t let go right away. I smiled down at my boy and kissed his forehead, scratching his head a little.

“I’ll be okay Cody, you go hang out with the crew. I’m just going to lay down for a little longer,” I said and Cody nodded, pulling away from our hug slowly. I smiled at him as he left the room with Kanan, Hera staying behind for another minute. She turned to me, giving me a look I know all to well.

“I know Hera. But I can’t help it. He was my first love and it’s still painful,” I said and Hera nodded, pulling me into a hug.

“I know it is but you’ll have to tell him eventually,” She said and I sighed, nodding because I knew she was right. I just didn’t want to think back to that day. Hera pulled away from the hug and placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Get some rest. Someone will come get you when we rendezvous with the fleet,” Hera said and I nodded, watching as she walked out and the door slid closed behind her.

I sighed and moved back towards my cot, sitting on the edge and wrapping a blanket around myself. I sat there, deep in thought. Thinking about my beloved while trying not to think about the last time we saw one another. My eyes began to water as I recalled the day we were forced to part.

~Flashback~

“Cyar’ika~” Rex said in a quiet, sing song voice as my eyes squinted, the sun light coming through the curtains of my room and illuminating the room. I smiled and kept my eyes closed, not wanting this moment to end. Rex wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back towards him, kissing my neck and shoulders. I giggled a little and stretched, taking a deep breath before turning to face my love.

Rex smiled at me as I turned around, loosening his hold to let me flip over and face him. Once I was facing him, he took the opportunity to kiss my lips. I smiled into the kiss and held his face, not wanting the moment to end.

“Good morning Rex~” I said quietly, smiling as we pulled away from the kiss. Rex kissed my forehead before pulling back to look at me.

“Good morning Cyar’ika,” He said and held me a little tighter. We stayed like that for a little longer, talking quietly with one another and laughing about whatever we found on the holonet. Our joyful atmosphere was shattered by the beeping of Rex’s comlink. Rex groaned and tried to bury his face into my neck, not wanting to leave this moment.

After a minute of the com going off it stopped and we both breathed a sigh. Before it started going off again cause us both to groan. Rex finally picked it, his arm still wrapped around me as he answered the person in the other end.

“Captain Rex here,” He said and there was a chuckle on the other end. Rex rolled his eyes with a smile before repeating himself, just for appearance sake.

“Rex, my man. We’ve got a new mission,” Anakin voice came over the com, playful yet serious as always. Rex groaned and buried his face in my neck, hearing Anakin laugh from the comlink.

“Do we have to?” Rex said like a child cause me to burst out laughing. Anakin was historically laughing as well, not being able to keep his composure.

“Yes we do Captain. You’ve got one more hour until we leave,” Anakin said and Rex nodded to himself.

“Of course General,” He replied, wanting to savour the next hour.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Anakin added with a chuckle.

“Hi Anakin,” I replied, still trying to catch my breath.

“I hope you’re taking good care of my captain,” He said and Rex groaned while I laughed again.

“He’s in good hands Skywalker, no need to worry,” Anakin laughed again and shook his head.

“Alright, I believe. We’ll see you when we get back from our mission,” Anakin said. I nodded and gave Rex a kiss on the cheek as he sat there in embarrassment.

“Alrighty Skywalker. Be safe and tell Obi-wan I say hello,” I replied and Anakin responded with a “will do!” Before the line cut out. Once I was sure the com was off I burst into giggles again, holding my stomach as Rex pouted with a small smile.

Anakin knew of our relationship and besides Padme, and my commander, no one knew. Though I’m pretty sure my captain and ARC Trooper do. If so, they haven’t said anything to my other men which I’m thankful for. We wanted to keep it that way but because Anakin and I were such close friends it was obvious that we would tell him when our relationship started. He always teased Rex but he knew how to keep quiet around his other men, not wanting any of them to accidentally say anything to anyone else.

“You’re so cute Rex.” I said and his cheeks turned pink, still not used to being complimented even after being together for two years. He sat up and stretched, scratching the back of his head. I sat up as well and crawled over to him, draping my arms over his shoulders. He smiled and held my arms as I kissed his neck. He groaned quietly and tilted his head to the side, giving me a little more room. I smirked against his neck as I bit down softly, drawing a moan from him.

“Cyar’ika~” he growled and I smirked before pulling away, dodging his attempt to grab me. I laughed and stood up as he reached for me again, smirking a little.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish Cyare~” he growling, managing to grab my arm and pull me back to the bed, maneuvering us so he was on top with me pinned beneath him.

I sighed as he leaned down and kissed me, his tongue finding its way into my mouth. I groaned as he kissed down to my neck, returning the bite I gave to him. My back arched as he left a few more marks on my chest.

“R-Rex~” I stuttered out as he let go of my arms, moving down and holding my hips as he stared at me. I looked down at him and watched as he smirked, pulling my panties to the side and licking a strip up my pussy. My head fell back against the pillows and my hand found its way to his buzzed head.

“Fuck~” I whimpered as he did it again, and again and again. I was putty in his hands. I tugged on his arm, hoping to get him back up to me. He understood what I wanted and sat up, removing my panties as I removed my shirt. He quickly stripped himself of his blacks, wanting the same thing I did.

I helped him with his shirt and once it was over his head and on the floor, I pulled him down for heated kiss. He reciprocated immediately, fumbling slightly before he positioned his cock at my cunt. He pushed in quickly, breaking the kiss as we both moaned at the amazing feeling.

He began thrusting fast, gripping my hips as he went, pounding me into the bed. I moaned his name over and over, relishing in the feeling of him inside me.

“Fuckkk you feel so good around me cyar’ika~” he groaned and lifted my legs over his shoulders, his cock reaching even deeper. I threw my head back and screamed, thankful I had a soundproof apartment away from the temple. My hands gripped the sheets, feeling myself squirt and cum before the blissful feeling set in. Rex groaned and kept thrusting, even with his bottom half soaked in my juices.

“Re-Rex!” I cried out as he managed to get me to cum again. Or was it just a continuation of my first orgasm? I couldn’t tell as I felt Rex empty himself inside me, his cock pulsing for a minute more before it finally began to get soft.

We panted, our heart beating fast but together, our breathing syncing up the exact same way. He gently let my legs go, easing them down to the bed and leaning over me to give me a keldabe kiss. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him as he withdrew his cock from inside me.

“That felt amazing cyare~” he whispered and I nodded, leaning in and giving him a proper kiss, he returned it just as sweetly, smiling into it as I gave him a squeeze. We both pulled away, content in the moment before we were interrupted once again, this time by my commlink going off.

Rex groaned as I giggled, reaching over and answering the com.

“(L/N) here?” I answered and there was snickering from the other side before a stern voice shushed it.

“General. We have a briefing in an hour before we ship out,” My Clone commander Chomp said and there was more snickering. I laughed and shook my head, bringing my hand up to scratch Rex’s head. He went limp in my arms, practically purring into my neck while still trying to keep quiet.

“Alright Chomp. I’ll be there soon. And Manik and Spike know I can hear them laughing right?” I asked him, listening as my captain and Arc trooper burst out into even louder laughter. I could feel Chomp rolling his eyes as he scolded his younger brothers.

“That’s enough you too. Or I increase your daily work out,” He barked and the other two calmed down, managing to stand at attention while still smiling.

“Fine by me sir. Maybe that means we can find a beautiful dala like our Ori’vod has,” Spike said. I could sense their smiles as they thought about it, causing me to laugh.

“Alright you di’kuts. Enough. What our general does in her personal time is none of our business. Now if you two want to enjoy your shore leave after our mission I suggest you zip it,” Chomp said sternly and Manik and Spike finally shut up. I was laughing hysterically and I could feel Rex trying to hold his laughter as well.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” I said quickly and cut the comms. Rex and I sat there for a moment before we busted out laughing, both of us not being able to hold it in. Finally after another ten minutes of laying down, we both got up and got dressed, making sure that the marks we gave one another were not visible.

I helped Rex adjust his armour, making sure nothing was pinching his skin. He in turn helped me straighten out my robes, laying them in place expertly as if they had not been haphazardly thrown on the floor the night before. We smiled at each other and gave one final kiss before Rex had to leave.

“Hopefully this war will be over soon and we can escape to another planet,” I said and Rex nodded in agreement.

“Soon cyar’ika. Hopefully soon. And then we can start a family,” He evened and I blushed, knowing exactly what Rex was thinking. He smirked and pulled me in for another heated kiss before I had to push him away, not wanting to get caught up in the moment and carried away.

“Oh don’t worry ner alor’ad. You will have all the time in the world to see me pregnant. I promise you that,” I said and Rex buried his face in my neck and groaned.

“Speak like that and you’ll give me a hard on again,” He said and I could feel the smallest amount of pressure from his codpiece. I laughed and hugged him, not wanting the moment to end.

We pulled away from one another before Rex reached into one of the pouches on his belt and pulled out a necklace. My eyes went wide as I stared at it, the piece of jewelry simple yet gorgeous. Rex smiled sheepishly at me and he held it up, looking between the necklace and me. It was a silver chain with a small pendant, a sapphire gem in the middle with smaller diamond as around it.

“Rex…” I breathed out and he smiled.

“I wanted to get you something nice. I had a little help because we clones don’t make money but I want you to have something to remind you of me,” He said and I slowly reached for the necklace, Rex letting it rest in my hands. It had more weight on it than it looked and I wondered what it was made of. I ran my thumb over the gem before turning the pendant over, a gasp leaving lips as I stared at the jaig eyes engraved on the back.

“Oh Rex…” I whispered and he smiled an innocent smile at me.

“I-it’s made of beskar so you can wear it in the field and not worry about it falling off,” Rex said and I was still at a loss for words. He slowly took the necklace from my hands and walked around me, situating himself behind me.

I stood still ask Rex placed the necklace around my neck fastening the clip and adjusting it so that it was comfortable. I reached my hand up to feel the necklace, the slight weight on my neck comforting. I smiled as I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hiding my face in his neck. His arms wrapped around me, giving me a gentle squeeze as we stayed there for what felt like an eternity. Finally we pulled away from one another and giggled together.

“Thank you Rex. It’s absolutely beautiful,” I breathed and Rex smiled.

“You’re worth it to me my love. It wasn’t easy but I called in a few favours.” He said and I smiled as I went in for another hug. “Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum Cyar’ika,” Rex said and I smiled as he gave me a Keldabe kiss.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner Alor’ad. Be safe please,” I replied and Rex smiled, letting go and making his way to the door and out first, trying not to raise suspicion. He turned back to give me one more smile and a tiny salute before he disappeared out the door. I sighed as I was left to my own devices for a short time before I made my way out, taking my fighter and flying to the temple.

~Time Skip~

“General! We’ve just received word from general Kenobi! He has engaged General Gervious on Utapau,” Commander Chomp informed me as we wrapped up our own battle on the surface of Vassek.

“Very good commander. Let’s clean up here and get back to Coruscant. I want a celebratory drink for the end of the war!” I said and Chomp laughed, Manik and Spike joining in as they came up to us.

Just then my com went off and I excused myself to take the call.

“(L/N) here?” I said and I heard a small sigh of relief from the other end, a smiling gracing my face as I felt Rex’s relief.

“Just checking in on you. I heard about your battle and wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said and I smiled at his concern.

“No need to worry about me Rex. Takes a lot more than a few droids to take me down. How about you? How is everything in your campaign?” I asked and heard Rex take in a deep breathe before exhaling.

“U-um well, everything on Anaxes has been dealt with...” Rex said, a little hesitation in his voice. That concerned me because Rex was never this hesitant to talk about his missions before.

“What’s wrong Rex?” I ask softly and I heard another sigh.

“We found something on Anaxes that led us to Skako Minor and we…” before I could finish, I gasped.

“Skako minor?? Like home of the Techno Union Skako Minor??” I questioned, my heart pounding, wondering what could be so important that they had to go to the heart of the Techno Union.

“Yeah that one,” Rex said let out a small huffed laugh. I rolled my eyes and moved a little further away from my men.

“Rex it’s not funny. You could have been captured or at worse killed! Who okayed this mission? The council surely wouldn’t so I’m assuming Anakin didn’t have offi-” my rambling was cut off my Rex telling me something that I knew I couldn’t be mad at him for.

“Cyar’ika, Echo’s alive,” He breathed and my eyes widened, shock riddling my body. I had no words. I knew how much Echo’s death had affected my Captain and Fives when he was still here but to hear that he was alive was a shock and a relief.

“H-he is?” I whispered and I could feel Rex’s smile.

“He’s alive. Altered both physically and mentally but he is back with us,” Rex said then went on to explain what happened in full detail. He ended off by telling me that Echo had chosen to go with Clone Force 99 or The Bad Batch.

“That’s good. He is in good hands with Hunter and the others. Though I’m sure it will take Crosshair a while to warm up to him,” I chuckled and Rex laughed.

“Yeah, he’s a tough one to crack. But I’m sure Echo will be okay,” Rex said and I nodded, trying my best to reach Rex through the force and surround him with comfort.

“Thank you Cyar’ika,” He whispered and I smiled, knowing that I had reached him.

“Where are you now?” I asked and I heard a short intake of breath.

“I-I’m on Mandalore with half the 501st and the 332nd,” he said and once again I was dumbfounded before Rex went on to explain why. He explained how Ahsoka was back as well and how she was helping Bo Katan Kryze reclaim her home from Darth Maul. All of this information was overwhelming but I was just happy Ahsoka was alive and well.

“Tell her I say hello and to protect my captain,” I said and smiled, Rex letting out a short chuckle in return.

“I will. She is very happy for us and has promised not to let it slip,” Rex said and I gasped.

“You told her already?” I said and I could feel Rex’s embarrassment.

“Well, not really. She was my second in command for 2 years and she can read me like a book so it was pretty obvious to her,” Rex defended himself and I thought for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised, she was always a very perceptive Jedi,” I said and I couldn’t feel Rex nodding.

“Anyway, I have to go. We’re transporting Maul to Coruscant now,” Rex said quickly, I guess making sure no one knew who he was speaking to.

“Will do alor’ad. We just finished up here so we will also be making our way back to Coruscant. The next time I see you the war will be over,” I said with a big smile, happy that I could finally leave the order with Rex so that we could start a life together.

“Definitely cyare. Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum and I will see you back on Coruscant,” Rex said and I smiled even more.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum Alor’ad,” I said and the transmission cut. I smiled and pocketed my com before making my way back over to my men, who were all loaded up in the gun ship and ready to head out.

~Time Skip~

We had been in hyper space for about an hour now when I felt an immense pain in my chest, like my heart had been grabbed and squeezed. I collapsed on the bridge, Chomp moving over to my side.

“General! Are you alright?” He asked and my head began to throb. I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t hear what else was said. The words being said sounded like they were being run through a blender. I felt our cruiser leave hyperspace but everything was still a blur.

“General can you hear me?” Chomps voice finally became a little clearer, though I could feel something terrible coming.

“Ready my ship and release my hyperspace ring. Disable tracking and divert power to the engines,” I practically whispered but my commander didn’t question it and order for a few troops to do as I asked.

“What’s happening (Y/N)?” Chomp whispered as he helped me up, Manik and Spike coming to my side as well.

“Something terrible is coming. And I need to be far away from here when it does,” I said and took a deep breath, trying to regain my strength.

“What’s coming general?” Spike said, a small note of fear in his voice. I looked at my three most trusted men, thinking about everything we had been through together.

“Come with me, the three of you. We haven’t much time,” I said and quickly began walking off the bridge and to the medbay. Chomp, Manik and Spike quickly followed, concerned for me but also curious as to what was happening.

When we made it to the medbay I ordered all personnel out, not giving anyone a chance to argue before they were ushered out by my men and the door sealed.

“(Y/N) please. What is going on?” Manik said and before I could answer, another wave of pain shot through me causing me to faulter, my head was pounded and I could hear screaming that was not my owe. I could hear master Windu, master Fisto and other masters being slaughtered. I shook my head and turned on the MRI scanner, making quick work.

“Take off your helmets and jam all transmissions to your commlinks and the cruiser. Someone is trying to turn you against me,” I said quickly as the machine powered on.

“General what is happening? Please talk to us!” Spike said and I turned to look at my men as they did what I instructed.

“I don’t know exactly what is happening Spike but I know something is wrong. I can feel it in the force and I need you three to trust me please,” I pleaded with them, going up and holding Spikes face in my hands. All three exchanged looks before nodding, Chomp stepping up first and laying on the scanner.

I started the machine and after a few minutes I found something that I had feared. A chip that shouldn’t be there. I remember Rex telling me about something like this around the time that five was killed but I didn’t take him seriously. Now I regret it.

“What is it (Y/N)?” Spike said as he an Manik came up to my side. The machine produced the chip, encased in glass to avoid contamination.

“A ‘behavioural chip’. I put that in quotes because it is something far worse than that. What it is I do not know but I need to remove yours as well. Quickly,” I said as the scanner released Chomp. He didn’t wake right away but I hauled him up and sat him against the adjacent wall, ushering Manik to the scanner.

There was no protest from as he went under. The same thing happened and once again I laid him up against the wall next to Chomp. Spike was the last to go, still a little hesitant even after seeming his brothers go through it.

“Are you sure about this general?” Spike asked and I nodded before feeling another wave of pain. The voices were much louder and I could hear Anakin screaming, I could feel Master Windu in pain and I could feel a sinister presence rising. My ears were ringing and my head pounding as I collapsed, screaming in pain myself, Spike got off the table to be by my side but I shook my head, trying to convey to him that he had to go through the procedure quickly.

Before I could really process what was happening, Spikes helmet was activated and a hologram of a dark figure appeared. I could feel dread take over my body as I watched the cloaked figure speak.

“Arc Trooper Spike. It is time-”

Execute Order 66

The words rang out through the Medbay, Spike going rigid before his shoulders squared. My eyes were wide, my ears not being able to process what was being said.

“It will be done my lord,” Spike replied before moving away from me and scooped up his bucket, placing it on his head before raising his blaster at me.

“Jedi. You are in direct violation of Order 66. You are to be terminated immediately for treason against the galactic republic,” Spike said and my heart dropped, looking over to my Commander and Captain who were still unconscious.

“I don’t want to hurt you Spike,” I whispered as I knelt there, still in disbelief. A shot went off but my lightsaber was in my hand before I could register what was happening, the bolt being deflected and hitting the wall near by.

“SPIKE!” I screamed as a firefight ensued, Spike firing at me and me deflecting what I could. “Spike please! It’s (Y/N)! Your friend!” I continued, trying but failing to get through to my trooper.

“I am not friends with Jedi traitors!” He screamed back and drew his pistols, firing at me twice as fast. I tried to dodge all his shots but one got me in the shoulder causing me to drop my saber.

I screamed in pain as I went down, clutching my injured shoulder with my good hand. Spike walked up to me and aimed his pistol right between my eyes, the look on his face one of no emotion or remorse. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, reaching out to Rex through the force with one final I love you before breaking our bond.

When Rex and I had begun dating, I had created a force bond with him. Even if he was not a force sensitive being, it was possible. And I melded our signatures together, giving him a piece on myself and he did the same to me. Breaking the bond was like shattering my heart, ripping it in half and throwing it aside.

I screamed as I did it, my sorrow creating a ripple effect that sent Spike flying across the room. He landed with a thud before dropping his pistols, laying unconscious on the ground. I could feel how the ripple had affected the ship as a whole, everyone on board being faced with an ear-piercing scream.

I knelt there sobbing as I finally felt the weight of what I did, holding onto my chest as the pain became too much. I could feel an emptiness in my chest, like a hole from a blaster. I didn’t even register that someone was trying to talk to me. The next thing I remember in being carried in someone’s arms, feeling cold before feeling warm again. I blacked out after that.

~Time Skip~

I woke to a gentle humming, feeling the weight of something on top of me and my eyes began to open. I felt a soft blanket on top of me and a pillow under my head, my body lying on a firm surface. I looked to my right, being met with a wall before looking to my left and seeing the inside of a ship. Across the small hull of the shuttle, I could see Spike laying there, a bandage on the right side of his head with his hair cut to accommodate it. I sighed a small sigh of relief, knowing that my Arc trooper was okay. I slowly sat up, clutching my chest as I did. The pain was still there, feeling even deeper than before. I cried out, finally processing what I had done. I had done it to protect Rex. I did not want him to feel my death. I did not want him to feel the pain of that loss.

Little did I know, he felt it ten-fold.

My cries reached the cockpit and Manik came running to me, checking me over to make sure I wasn’t physically hurt.

“General! Are you alright?” He asked quietly. I shook my head and broke down even more, not wanting to believe that I had really severed my connection with Rex.

“It hurts Manik. It hurts so much,” I whispered and clung my battalion captain, not wanting this to be real but knowing all to well that it was.

“What hurts?” He asked and I clutched my chest.

“My heart. My head. I feel like a part of me is missing,” I continued in a hushed voice, not knowing if I could speak any louder.

“Oh general,” Manik said and held me, knowing that something happened but not wanting to pry. We both heard a groan from the other side of the hull, looking over to see Spike waking up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, before they went wide and he whipped his head around to take in his surroundings. When his eyes landed on me, he leapt up, making the short walk over to where I was and pulling me into a strong hug.

“Su cuy’gar,” He whispered to me and I nodded. I could feel his tears on my shoulder as I hugged him back.

“Yeah,” Was all I said before Chomp came from the cockpit.

“Thank god you two are awake,” he said and came over to the three of us, pulling us all into a group hug. I smiled a little, still feeling the emptiness in my heart. I sniffled and Chomp held onto us tightly, the weighted of the last few hours finally registering for us all.

“What happened?” I asked quietly as the four of us pulled away from the hug. Chomp sighed as he helped me stand, Manik and Spike following suit and we all made our way to the cockpit. Chomp sat in the pilot’s chair, Manik taking copilot and Spike and I sitting in the passenger seats.

“I woke up first, finding you and Spike unconscious on the floor. I figured something must have happened because Spike had his bucket on. I pulled up the security footage and watched everything. I almost didn’t believe what I was watching. But you saved us,” he said and Manik nodded.

“After that I got Spike into the table and finished the procedure. That’s when Manik woke up and I filled him in. He put you on the other one and scanned to make sure you weren’t hurt,” Chomp continued and Manik nodded again, looking a me with a small smile. I was grateful to my men for helping one another but also helping me.

“After I got Spike’s chip out, I helped him while Manik carried you. We were questioned by so many troopers but we played it as cool as we could. Once we made it to the hanger it was too late for them to figure out what we had done and we hijacked a shuttle and booked it,” Chomp said. I was so grateful to them for getting us out of there, still trying to process everything that went on.

“Thank you for saving me,” I said and looked at my men with adoration and gratitude. The Manik and Chomp beamed at me but Spike bowed his head in shame. I turned to him and pulled him into a hug. He tensed a little before returning the hug, looking to his brother who only showed him soft smiles.

“I don’t blame you Spike. It could have happened to anyone,” I said and spoke sighed before pulling away from the hug.

“I know. But I could have killed you,” Spoke said and Chomp placed a hand on Spike’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“But you didn’t Vod’ika. We saved her and the baby,” Chomp said and I froze. I slowly turned to look at Chomp before looking to Manik to confirm. Both of them tensed a little before Manik let out a forced chuckle.

“I…guess you didn’t know. Congrats general. You’re pregnant,” Manik said. My ears began ringing again as I pulled away from Spike and looked down at my stomach. My hands instinctively went to my stomach where, true to their word, I could sense the life growing inside me. How I hadn’t before was beyond me but I guess I never really paid much attention to it. I knew it was Rex’s baby, and that thought made my eyes water all over again.

Chomp stood up and pulled me into a hug, letting me cry on his shoulder. “It’s okay general. I’m sure Rex is okay. He’s to tough to let some chip get the best of him. What we need to do now is find a safe place to lay low and help you get ready for this baby,” Chomp said and the others agreed. I nodded and sat back down in my seat, letting Chomp, Manik and Spike take the lead.

From there everything changed. The war had ended and the Jedi were deemed traitors. They were hunted and killed; any clones who went against the order were taken to an unknown place. Chomp, Spike, Manik and I had found refuge on an independent world, the three of them helping me through the Woah’s of pregnancy the best they could. It took a long time to adjust but soon enough I had my baby. And I named him Cody after commander Cody.

Sooner or later, I came into contact with Ahsoka again. She had told me that she and Rex had survived but after a few months together she lost contact with him. I was devastated that I would not get to see him again but at least I knew he was alive for the moment. Ahsoka came and met my son, falling in love at the first sight of him. I smiled as she told me more about what happened to her during the order.

It was a difficult conversation but one that needed to be had. As the days passed, my men began going on missions of their own to find and free their brothers, moving from planet to planet trying to make a difference. I stayed at our “home” with my son, trying to raise him as best I could. As he grew, I saw more and more of Rex in him. His eyes, his smile, his hair. He was a little copy of Rex and he loved his uncles very much. I came across Kanan a few years later, welcoming him with open arms.

~End Flashback~

From there the rest is history. Spike, Chomp and Manik checked in often but they were doing their own thing now.

I always think back; the last time I spoke to Rex it was telling him how I love him and how we would run away together and have a big family. I do have a family but it still feels incomplete with him. I’m just happy I told him I love him one last time.

My eyes watered even more as I thought about it, my heart hurting and my head pulsating. I took some more deep breaths before I laid back down, shutting my eyes and trying to get a little more sleep.

~ A few Hours Later ~

I felt someone gently shaking me awake, their presence calming and warm. I smiled and I help the hand of whoever came to get me, knowing instantly that it was Ahsoka.

“Rise and shine (Y/N). There is work to be done,” she said softly and I groaned, not wanting to get up. Ahsoka laughed before I felt a weight on my chest, snuggling into me. I smiled a little more as my arms wrapped around Cody, holding him tightly to me.

“You doing okay mom? I could hear you mumbling and sniffling in your sleep,” Cody asked and I opened my eyes to look at him, seeing Rex reflected in his eyes. I nodded as I scratched his head, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

“I’m okay ner ad,” I said and slowly sat up white Cody’s help, bringing my hand up to my chest. I could feel a dull pain in my heart, the same one I always got when I thought of my Rex. Ahsoka noticed and placed a hand on my shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. I looked up at her with a small smile, noting just how much she had grown up.

“Come on. Everyone is on the bridge of the command ship. We’ve got a new mission for you,” Ahsoka said with a hesitate smile. I paid no mind to it as we both had a lot on our minds and plates. I stood up, my arms staying wrapped around Cody as the three of us made our way to Phoenix home.

~Small Time Skip~

“The destruction of our command ship has severely limited our ability to fight the empire in this sector,” Commander Sato said as Ezra and Kanan came into the bridge of Phoenix home.

I stood next to Ahsoka against one of the adjacent walls, holding onto Cody as Commander Sato spoke.

“So maybe we don’t fight,” Ezra said sheepishly when commander Sato gave him a stern look. “Uhhh... commander Sato sir. W-when things got tough for me on Lothal, I’d go find some place to hide,” He continued, using hand gestures to convey his point and I giggled a little, remembering how Rex used to do the same thing.

“You are never shy with your opinions, Ezra Bridger,” Sato shot back, not really amused by Ezra’s words. “But establishing a base is a good idea,” Sato said and Ahsoka smiled, as if to agree but also there was something more in her eyes. I didn’t question it, just holding onto Cody and keeping quiet.

“Problem is, none of the potential bases we know of have the tactical advantage we need to protect what’s left of our fleet,” Hera said with her hands on her hips, concern evident in her voice.

“Or, aid the nearby systems suffering from imperial oppression,” Kansan said as he made his way behind Hera, the Twi’lek turning around to give him a look.

“We can’t help others if we can’t help ourselves Kanan,” Hera said, her voice conveying that it should be an obvious thought. “If only we had more allies,” Hera finished, turning back to the console.

“I know someone, who might be able to help us,” Ahsoka spoke up, hands on her hips and her tone of voice indicated to me that she was hiding something. I looked at her quizzically, but she didn’t not look at me, though she seemed to know I was staring at her. Cody looked up at me and held my hand, trying to send a wave of reassurance through the force.

“A great military commander with vast knowledge of the Outer Rim,” she said and my eyes went slightly wide. My mind went to Rex but I knew that could be possible. Ahsoka wouldn’t keep that from me. Would she?

Cody felt me tense and I couldn’t feel Kanan give me a look as my signature changed slightly, turning from calm to anxious before turning back. Cody turned around and hugged me, whispering to ask me what was wrong. I reassured my son that everything was okay, trying not to let him see my inner turmoil.

“He could assist us in finding a base, and his experienced leadership would make him a powerful ally,” Ahsoka said, moving away from the wall she stood by, making her way over to the holotable. Everyone’s eyes followed her, intrigued by her words. I stayed silent, trying not to let my intrusive thoughts overwhelm me.

“How do we recruit this…leader?” Sato asked, sounding just as much intrigued as he was cautious.

“That’s the problem. I lost track of him a long time ago, and all my transmissions have gone unanswered,” she said and stood there, arms crossed and one holding her chin in thought.

“We can find him. Let us try,” Ezra said optimistically, wanting to do what he could to help the cause.

“Well, there is one option I’ve not yet attempted,” Ahsoka said and smirked, giving Ezra a look before exiting the bridge.

~Small Time Skip~

The Ghost crew was back on board the ship, everyone making their way to the bridge for Ahsoka’s ‘test’. I sent Cody with Ezra and Sabine, making my way to my room to meditate. I had a feeling I knew what Ahsoka was planning but I didn’t want to believe it.

He’s gone. Even if he is alive, you severed your bond. You lost the right to call him yours.

My thoughts swirled as I sat on the floor of mine and Cody’s cabin, trying desperately to get my emotions under control.

~On the bridge~

Chopper beeped out that he had a bad feeling about this, moving away from one of the consoles as the rest of the crew came on. Hera was preparing the Ghost to receive the information when Ahsoka made her way into the cockpit. She was carrying a droid head, smiling softly at Cody’s small exclamation of wonder.

“Is that…the head of an old tactical droid?” Kanan asked, amazed and sceptical.

“These droids were great at finding things, calculating,” Ahsoka said as she handed the head off to Sabine. She scoffed slightly as she thought back to the Clone Wars. “Found my master and I a few times when we didn’t want to be found,” She finished, looking at Kanan before looking to Sabine and Ezra.

“How in all the galaxy is that droid gonna find your friend?” Ezra asked, leaning over towards Sabine to get a better look at the droid head. After Ezra’s question, he, Hera and Sabine all looked to Ahsoka, all wondering the same thing.

Chopper beeped and looked over at Ezra sassily, putting his mechanical arms on his “hips”.

“Well,” Ahsoka started, looking at Ezra to answer his question. “I heard he was last seen in the Seelos system.” She said and turned back towards the door to the cockpit. “You can start there.” She finished.

“You’re not coming with us?” Cody asked and stood up, reaching for Ahsoka.

Ahsoka smiled at the young boy and ruffled his hair before pulling him into a hug. “Not on this mission Cody,” she said and Cody pouted a little, not wanting to let go of his aunt just yet. After another minute he let Ahsoka go.

“I have something else to attend to,” She replied and looked at Ezra over her shoulder.

“The Sith Lord,” Kanan said, no question needed as to what Ahsoka was looking for. This conversation was one that needed to be had with (Y/N) present so Kanan turned to Cody.

“Cody where’s your mom?” Kanan asked softly, placing a hand on the young boy’s shoulder. Cody looked at Kanan before looking to the door leading out of the cockpit.

“She went to our room. I don’t think she’s feeling very well,” Cody said and looked to Kanan then Ahsoka. Both gave each other a look that Cody noticed.

“What’s wrong?” Cody said and Ahsoka sighed before giving Cody a small smile.

“It’s nothing ad’ika. Your mom will be okay.” Ahsoka said. Cody looked at her sceptically for a moment before dropping it. Kanan took his hand off Cody’s shoulder, giving the young boy a smile.

“I’m going to check on her,” Cody said and before anyone could protest, he made his way out of the cockpit and to the cabin he shared with his mother.

~The Ghost Crew~

“There are questions, questions that need answering,” Ahsoka said and looked at Kanan over her other shoulder.

“I wish we could go with you,” Ezra expressed, feeling a little disappointed that he, Kanan and (Y/N) couldn’t go with her to get answers about the Sith Lord.

“You have your own mission, Ezra,” she said and turned back to fully look at him and the rest of the crew before turning and addressing Kanan.

“And Kanan, if you find my friend, you must trust him,” Ahsoka said sternly which caused Ezra to look at her with concern.

“If he’s all the things you say, we can’t afford not to,” Kanan said with a hint of sarcasm, smirking at Ahsoka before it vanished. He could tell she was being serious.

“Trust him, and listen to (Y/N),” Ahsoka repeated again, emphasizing her point as the cockpit doors closed.

“What was that about?” Ezra asked Kanan

“I have no idea,” Kanan said exasperatedly.

~Reader~

Cody opened the door to the cabin, the sight that greeted him was one that hurt his heart. His mother sat there on her cot, tears slowly trailing down her face as she turned something over in her hand.

“Buir?” Cody asked and I looked up at him, startled by his sudden appearance.

“Cody,” I said as I wiped my tears, trying to compose myself for my son. “What’s up kiddo? I thought you were in the cockpit with the rest of the crew,” I asked and Cody walked in, making sure to close the door and lock it behind him as he came and sat on my cot.

“Talk to me mom. Please? There is obviously something on your mind and I want to help in anyway I can,” Cody said quietly and leaned his head on my shoulder. I tensed for a moment before letting out a shaky sigh, taking Cody’s hand in mine.

“I was thinking about your father,” I said softly, lifting my head and tilting it back, trying not to tear up again, Cody looked at me with wide eyes, knowing that this was a topic that I had only talked about a handful of times.

“What about dad?” He asked and I let a ghost of a smile grace my face.

“He was my world. He was everything to me,” I started and Cody turned his full attention to listen, knowing this might be the only time he gets to hear about his father in depth.

“We met at the start of the war. I was the general of a different battalion but we worked closely with the 501st legion. That’s how I met your father, Rex. I knew Anakin, the 501st legions general, because he and I were best friends. I was one of the first people to welcome him when he came to the temple. Anakin was always confident and cocky. He was an amazing friend and when he introduced me to Rex, it was love at first sight. It was against the Jedi code for Jedi to form attachments and it was against regulations for clones to fall in love, much less with a Jedi. We couldn’t be together but we didn’t care. We started our relationship around the one year mark of the war and we had remained in contact ever since. I got my own apartment outside of the temple so that Rex and I could spend time together, away from prying eyes. We made it work very well. We had our ups and downs as all couples do but we remained united,” I said and uncurled my hand, revealing the necklace Rex had given me.

“This was a gift to me from your father. He gave it to me the last time we saw each other face to face before the end of the war. It wasn’t easy for him to get but he told me I was worth it,” Cody’s mouth formed oh shape, finally knowing the meaning and value of the necklace he had seen many times.

“It’s the last piece of your father I have, besides you,” I finished and looked at the necklace in my hand, running my thumb over the sapphire gem just as I did all those years ago. Cody took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“What happened to him?” Cody asked tentatively and I sighed, knowing that this time would come.

“I don’t know. I lost contact with him when the war ended. I severed our bond,” I said and Cody gasped. He knew what that meant, having been taught about force bonds by Ahsoka, Kanan and myself. He let go of my hand and instead gave me a hug, hiding his face in my neck to comfort me. I sighed as I hugged my son close, tears falling once again as I thought more about Rex.

“Is that why you get random chest pains whenever you think about dad?” Cody asked quietly and I nodded, feeling him hold me a little tighter.

“I broke our bond because I thought I was going to die. When order 66 was given, I thought I was dead. And I didn’t want Rex to feel that pain so I thought it would be easier to sever our connection. But I didn’t die. Uncle Chomp and Uncle Manik saved me and Uncle Spike. They made sure I was taken care of until you came and they stuck around to help me raise you. I always thought your father died. I always assumed he did because it made it easier to move on. It sounds cruel I know, but I needed to be strong for you ner ad,” I said and Cody pulled away from the hug to look at me.

“I’m sure he’s out there somewhere mom. We’ll find him. I promise,” Cody said with a fierce determination, making me smile with watery eyes. “Remember my vision from earlier?” Cody asked and I nodded.

“That’s how I know he’s alive and I’m sure he’s waiting for you to find him. He’s waiting to reunite with you. I can feel it,” Cody said passionately and I looked down at my lap, thinking about Cody’s words.

“You remind me so much of your father and I couldn’t be prouder of you, ner ad,” I said and Cody smiled, giving me another hug. When we pulled away, he took the necklace from my hand and crawled on my bed behind me, placing the necklace back in its rightful place. I smiled and wiped my tears as Cody came back around in front of me.

“We’ll find him mom. Don’t worry. If what you told me is true, he’s a fighter and he wouldn’t go down that easy,” Cody said and I nodded, a soft ‘okay’ leaving my lips. Cody gave me a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his lightsaber from one of the storage drawers, and taking my hand. He pulled me up and began leading us to the cockpit. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed since the briefing but it had been a little while because we were in hyperspace.

The door whooshed opened and all eyes turned to me and Cody, Kanan standing up and coming over to give me a hug.

“You feel better?” He asked and I nodded, placing my hand on Cody’s head and fluffing his hair.

“Mommmm,” Cody whined and I laughed, the others laughing as well.

“Where are we headed?” I asked and looked to Hera for an answer.

“The Seelos system. That’s where Ahsoka said to start,” Hera responded and I nodded, watching as hyperspace flew right by us.

~Time skip~

Chopper beeped out an ‘uhoh’ as the alarm started going off, one of the control panels sparking and catching fire.

“We get all the way to Seelos and now you tell me the hyperdrive wasn’t completely fixed?!” Hera growled at her droid.

Chopper beeped out sarcastically and Hera threw her arms up as I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh. Hera glared at me which made me laugh even louder.

“You finished the important repairs? How did you define “important”?!” Hera yelled as she turned back to Chopper. Kanan heard the commotion and came up from the common space on the ghost.

“What’s going on?” He asked, wondering why Hera was so mad the alarms were blaring. I laughed and got up, making my way over to Kanan.

“Chopper didn’t fix the hyperdrive properly,” I said and Kanan rolled his eyes, mumbling and ‘of course not’.

“Chopper and I are staying here,” Hera said and grunted as another fuse blew. “To clean up his mess,” She finished and Chopper chirped in protest that it wasn’t his fault.

“Take the phantom!” Hera said as she tried to get the situation under control. “Hopefully we’ll be ready to go by the time you get back,” she said sarcastically, pushing a few buttons on the control panel.

Kanan looked at her and rolled his eyes before looking at me, nodding as he slid down the ladder. I followed soon after, giving Hera a small wave as I went. I got down the ladder as everyone was making their way to the phantom, getting ready for our departure.

“You going to bring Cody?” Kanan asked and I nodded, turning towards mine and Cody’s cabin.

The door opened to reveal my son, lying on the upper cot, a smile on his sleeping face. I smiled as I climbed up the ladder and shook his shoulder gently, coxing him from his sleep.

“Cody? Time to get up sweetheart,” I said and Cody stirred, yawning as he looked at me.

“Hi mom,” he said and sat up, wrapping his arms around me. He buried his face in my neck, holding me a little tighter than usual.

“What’s wrong Cody?” I asked and stroked his hair. He sighed and pulled away before giving me a smile.

“I had another dream about dad. It was a good one.” He said and my eyes began to water.

“I’m sure it was honey. Your father was a great man. and I’m sure if he were here, he would’ve been an amazing father,” I said and Cody wiped my eyes for me.

“We’ll find him mom. He’s out there. I can feel it,” Cody said and I nodded at his optimism. I could sense it too. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case I was wrong for believing we were close to Rex.

“Let’s get going. We’re taking the phantom cause Chopper didn’t properly fix the hyperdrive.” I said and Cody rolled his eyes.

“Of course he didn’t,” he said and moved towards the ladder. I hopped down first before Cody followed, both of us making our way to the ladder of the Phantom and climbing up.

The phantom detached from the ghost smoothly, Kanan piloting her like a pro. I smiled as I sat with Cody across from Zeb, the Lasot making faces as Cody laughed like a young child. Zeb was like an older brother to Cody and they always had fun together, getting into trouble and teasing Ezra. It was always amusing to watch, seeing as they all grew to be like family.

Sabine held the tactical droid head in her hands and made her way over to Kanan as we flew through the atmosphere towards the surface of Seelos. I watched from where I sat, the blue sky and cracked ground making the planet seem beautiful in a deserted type of way.

Cody looked at me and I nodded before he got up and made his way over to Ezra and Kanan, Sabine plugging in the head to the computer of the phantom. It whirled for a moment as Sabine said to no one in particular, “Well, let’s fire this thing up,” She placed it on the control panel and the head began to warble. Cody was fascinated with the droid, not really having seen one as important or deadly as this one.

“I think it’s scanning for a signal of some kind,” Sabine said as she held onto the pilot’s seats, Kanan’s brows scrunching together.

“Good luck. You could really get lost out here,” Ezra said, glaring out the cockpit window towards the drab looking grounds bellow.

“Maybe that was the idea,” Zeb started, kind of throwing his arms up in the air. “What if this great commander were looking for doesn’t want to be found?” He speculated and to me, that made a lot of sense. Ezra must have thought the same thing because his face shifted from confused to cautious to understanding to curiosity as he looked out the window again.

I could sense a very familiar presence, almost like it was dancing with me. I looked down and closed my eyes, trying not to reach out but desperately wanting to.

I had closed parts of myself off from the force for years because of the grief of loosing everything I knew. It was only recently, when Cody turned 10, that I opened myself up, making my sense of the force still very wonky.

Zeb placed one of his hands on my knee, knowing that when I did this, I could feel something. Cody came over to me to and wrapped his arms around me, also feeling that something was off with me.

“What’s wrong mom?” He said and I didn’t respond, not wanting to throw myself into another panic attack. I just kept my eyes closed, taking deep breathes, tuning out everything I could, even when the tactical droid began beeping and chiming a number I had heard many times before.

“7567…7567…7,”

“It’s homing in on something,” Sabine said and she and Ezra leaned in a little more, Kanan’s brows still furrowed. Cody gave me one more gentle squeeze and went back over to Ezra, also wanting to see what was being found.

“7567,”

“7567…7567…7567,”

Zeb got up from where he sat, making his way over to the pilot’s seat and looking out the window. I stayed putting, trying my best to meditate and work through my thoughts and feelings. I could sense them. There were three life forms on the surface. Two very familiar and one I had only met a handful of times. I didn’t let myself hope though even when all the evidence was there

“There! Up ahead!” Zeb said eagerly, pushing Ezra, Sabine and Kanan a little too forcefully to get his point across. There was an old republic AT-TE walker, moving slowly across the ground. I stayed unmoving, not wanting to open my eyes.

“Whoa….” Ezra and Cody said together, both admiring the monster of a vehicle the tank was. Sabine gasped at the colourful makeshift patio that rested on top, admiring the craftsmanship of it.

“Now, that is a work of art,” she said and that made me smile a little, still in my own world.

“Looks like an old republic tank,” Kanan said cautiously, not wanting to believe who could be riding in that tank, “used during the Clone wars,” Kanan snarled as he finished his whispered words. My eyes squeezed shut even more, not wanting Kanan’s negativity to influence my thoughts.

“7567...”

The tank came to a hault as the Phantom landed towards the rear, everyone moving to exit the ship. Cody came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

“We’re here mom,” he said quietly and I nodded, acknowledging that we had landed.

“You coming (Y/N)?” Kanan asked and I shook my head, my mind still piecing everything together. Zeb opened the hatch and led Sabine and Ezra out.

“Let’s go Cody, leave your mom to meditate. She’s going through a lot. And be on guard,” Kanan said as he ushered Cody out. He looked back at me but I kept me head down, the things I was feeling becoming overwhelming.

The hatch remained opened behind Cody and Kanan as Kanan also warned Ezra to be on guard. I could feel the force pulling me towards my past, wanting me to reflect, wanting me to open back up fully. I was afraid because I knew now what awaited me outside the door. I could feel his life force, just as strong as the day we met, still slightly fractured from the day I severed our bond.

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt a weight being lifted, the force surging through me like an old friend not forgotten. I smiled as I felt it but that smile was quickly wiped away as I heard blaster fire. I unclipped my saber from its place on my hip and opened the hatch of the phantom, ready to defend my friends on both sides.

~Outside~

The group walked up toward the tank, the makeshift windchimes ringing as the group waited. Cody made his way to the front of the group with Ezra, even against Kanan’s silent protests. The back door to the AT-TE opened to reveal three older looking men, all looking the same but also different.

Cody felt a serge in the force, one so strong it took his breath away. He held a hand to his chest as he started at the man in the front of the group. This man was familiar and Cody knew it had to be someone special. He knew this man. Zeb broke him out of his internal battle with the force by scoffing and rolling his eyes.

“It’s just a bunch of old geezers,” he said and crossed his arms.

“Well armed old geezers,” Sabine added, admiring the weaponry the men were sporting.

“What do you want?” The first man called to the group and Cody took hold of Zeb’s arm, trying to balance himself as another serge from the force took his breath again and made his heart race.

“We’re looking for someone,” Kanan said sceptically, calling back to the men.

“Well, that’s too bad, ‘cause there’s nobody out here,” The man said, leaning against the railing of the tank. Ezra stepped up, Cody moving to stand with him but still staying back. He needed to know if he was right.

“Hey, uh, does the number 7567 mean anything to you?” Ezra asked carefully, holding his hand up a little, holding Cody back from being up front.

“What did you just say?” The first man snarled, the ones flanking him raising their weapons defensively.

“Uh, I said 7567,” Ezra repeated cautiously, Cody moving from behind his hand to step up in front of the group.

“I haven’t heard those digits in…well that’s my birth number!” The man said and Cody finally took a stand as Ezra thought to himself what ‘birth number’ could mean.

“Buir?” Cody said and stared at the man in front, all three visibly tensing at the use of Mando’a and the term used. Before anything else could be said, Kanan snarled.

“They’re clones!” He said and pushed Ezra and Cody back, Cody falling with the force of it as Kanan ignited his lightsaber to defend the group.

The three men were snapped out of their shock of a child speaking Mando’a, instead turning fully defensive at the Jedi.

“Kanan, wait. Stop!” Cody yelled but Kanan didn’t listen.

“Jedi! They’ve come for revenge,” The clone with the scar over his left eye yelped and immediately began firing at Kanan.

“Drop the blaster old man,” Zeb yelled back as he and Sabine took out their weapons.

“Don’t try it boyo! I’ll gun you down,” The man in the blue shirt said in response, taking aim at the group.

“Stand down troopers. Now! That’s an order Soldier,” The front man said, pushing the others blasters towards the ground.

“Sha’kaji al’verde!” A voice boomed and everyone turned to see (Y/N), holding her (L/C) lightsaber in her hand. Cody stood up quickly and ran to his mother, wrapping his arms around her. She placed her free hand around her son but her eyes never left those of the captain.

All three men were just as shocked, their weapons dropping immediately. The rest of the Ghost crew looked at me, their weapons still slightly raised and Kanan’s saber still ignited.

“Stow your weapons,” I said to Zeb and Sabine, moving up towards the tank slowly.

“But...” Zeb began but I gave him a sharp look. Zeb backed off, knowing that when I had that look, I wasn’t playing. Sabine did the same, not wanting to be on the receiving end.

“Stow. Your. Weapons. That’s an order,” I said sternly and once they did, I turned my eyes on Kanan.

“Lower your weapon Kanan. Now,” I said in the same tone. Kanan didn’t and he turned to glare at me but my glare was just as hard, if not harder.

“You forget your place Kanan. Lower your saber now or I will have no choice but to take it,” I said, my voice dripping with venom. Zeb, Ezra and Sabine all stared in shock at my tone, knowing that I meant business.

Kanan stopped for another moment before he finally retracted his saber, placing it on his belt and backing away to give me some space. I did the same, retracting my saber and placing it back on my hip, my arm never leaving Cody as we made our way to the tank. I looked up and stared at the three fine men, Commander Wolffe, Commander Gregor and my love, Captain Rex.

All three stood there, shocked and unmoving, Rex’s eyes never leaving mine. My eyes were beginning to water and I could tell by Cody’s hold on me that he knew who this man was. I watched as Rex’s eyes flicked down from mine, noticing the necklace that I wore. The same necklace her gave to me that night in my apartment so many years ago. He then met my eyes again, still at a loss for words.

“Udes verde,” I said quietly. All three of them stood at attention before standing at ease, Rex’s mouth opening and closing like a fish. I smiled as I watched his lost for word expression, tears beginning to stream down my cheeks. Cody looked up at me and then to Rex, putting the pieces of the puzzle in the right place.

“Mom?” He asked and I saw Rex’s eyes widen even further, Wolffe and Gregor looking to the captain and then back at us.

“Su cuy’gar ner alor’ad,” I said and Rex finally took a breath, tears leaving his eyes as well.

“Ner cyar’ika,” He whispered and I nodded, giving Cody a kiss on the forehead before I let go of him, taking a step and jumping up to the platform of the tank, landing right in front of Rex as he backed up to give me room. It didn’t take a second before he was on me, holding me close and kissing me like there was not tomorrow.

I reciprocated just as quickly, holding his face in my hands and caressing his beard, smiling into the kiss. Rex smiled with me as we pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine.

“I thought I lost you, ner cyare,” Rex said tearfully and I nodded, my eyes watering just as much.

“I’ll explain it all Rex I promise,” I said and kissed him again, pulling him impossibly closer. It was as if the rest of the world didn’t exist besides the two of us at the moment, rebuilding the bond that was broken and making up for lost time. We pulled away panting, both of us laughing and crying at finally being reunited.

I turned and looked down at the rest of the crew, Sabine, Zeb and Ezra were smiling softly, giving me thumbs up and claps. Kanan stood to the back of the group, looking at Rex and then me apprehensively, but not saying anything. Cody had a huge smile on his face, finally getting to see his father.

“Come up here ner ad,” And Cody nodded, doing as I did and jumping on to the platform. Wolffe and Gregor made room as Cody hopped up, the rest of the ghost crew loading into the Phantom and lifting off, landing the ship gently on top of the AT-TE.

“Rex, my love,” I started holding Rex’s hand as Cody came up to us. Rex looked at me and then back at Cody, staring at him with wide eyes.

“He’s ours?” Rex whispered and I nodded, my eyes watering again as Rex broke out into sobs, pulling Cody in for a big hug. Cody smiled as he reciprocated the hug, holding on to his long-lost father. They stayed like that for a little longer which gave me a chance to turn around and pull Wolffe into a hug, the commander dropping his second gun and immediately returning it. Gregor came over to us and did the same, giving me a hug as Cody and Rex pulled away.

“It’s so good to see you all alive,” I said tearfully and Woffle wiped his own tears, Gregor giving a huge smile.

“You too general,” Woffle said and Gregor laughed in agreement.

“What’s your name Son?” Rex said as he knelt down so that he was a little more level with Cody. I walked over a placed a hand on Cody’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze and he smiled at me. He turned back to look at Rex and with a childlike smile her told him.

“My name is Cody (L/N),” He said proudly and Rex’s eyes went wide again as the Ghost crew dismounted from the phantom, coming to a stop around our group. Rex turned and looked at me as I smiled with teary eyes before he turned back to Cody.

“Do you know who you got your name from son?” He asked quietly and Cody nodded again.

“Commander Cody of the 212th clone battalion. A great soldier, a born leader and a great friend of my dad,” Cody said, echoing something I had told him many years ago. Rex nodded and pulled Cody into another hug, lifting him up and pulling me into a hug as well. We were a family reunited after so many years apart and I couldn’t be happier.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner cyar’ika,” Rex said and I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner alor’ad,” I replied and Cody smiled before he patted Rex’s shoulder to let him down. Rex did so immediately, instead latching on to me and holding me tightly as if I would disappear at any moment.

“Dad?” Cody asked and Rex responded with ‘yes Cody?’

“I want you to meet my friends,” he said and walked over to the ghost crew who at this point had been watching our reunion with smiles. Kanan still had a sour look on his face but I don’t think he could deny that I was happy. As Cody introduced Rex, Wolffe, and Gregor to the crew I couldn’t help but smile. Rex had only found out he was a father ten minutes ago and he had already taken to the role like it was natural for him.

I smiled at my family, finally reunited after so long apart. I’d have to have a word with Ahsoka about this but for now, I wanted to enjoy the moment.

—————

Thank you so much for reading! Please drop a like if you enjoyed this story and let me know if there’s anything else you’d like for me to write about!

I will try to update every week around noon on Wednesdays or Thursdays! But please be patient with me, I’m going through some health stuff as well as working so I will write and update when I can!

[mockerycrow]

Undercover IV (Soap x GN!Reader)

undercover series masterlist — previous | next

Summary: You have a rocky introduction with John Price and you continue your interview, despite a certain someone’s hesitant protests. You finally have your dreaded psych evaluation while your stress reaches it’s peak.

A/N: considering this is a reboot timeline + Makarov is only vaguely mentioned in mw2, i’m taking inspo from og mw and adding my own spices. and holy shit why was this so difficult to complete??? i also apologize for this taking so long, i live where the smoke from the canadian fires dragged across and my chest hurts. update: russian was corrected!

[WARNINGS: flashbacks, Price is a bit of an ass but trust me, vague descriptions of torture and murder, angst.]

“I learned from him that often contradiction is the clearest way to truth.” -Patti Smith.

“We need to get your head on straight.”

That’s what Price said, and I don’t know what about how he said it made me mad, but oh boy, did it fucking piss me off. “What?”

“We need to get your head on straight,” He repeats, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He’s wearing his tactical vest, dawning a U.K. badge. I eye his gear before making eye contact with him again and he continues. “We can’t afford to sit around, we need that intel. We have reasonable suspicion Makarov will move on with his plans quicker than we anticipated.” My nose scrunches up a little bit as he’s basically avoiding saying it without saying that he’s avoiding it. “You want me to continue with the interview.” I say it like a statement and not a question because all three of us know it’s not a question.

“Price, that isn’t a good idea,” Soap says, his voice considerably alarmed. He grinds his teeth together because he knows my reaction to just fucking closing my eyes while talking about it was extremely concerning. “I know it isn’t, but we don’t have a choice,” Price mutters before pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. He looks at me with a pointed look, eyes flickering over my body in confliction.

I mimic his look because as much as I would love time to calm down, I know what he’s saying is true. If they truly have reasonable suspicion that Makarov is going to advance in his plans early, they need what I learned.

Fuck, man..

“Okay.” I move the pillow around on my lap. “Let’s do it?”

Soap’s head snaps towards me, eyebrows furrowed. “What? You’re agreein’ to it??” I look back at him with a frustrated look and I can feel myself wanting to explode. “What choice do I have? Not say anything and risk peoples lives, or have a little freak out and no one dies—except maybe for him?”

The room goes silent except for the beeping of the machines and Soap sighs, taking the recorder out of his front pocket. Price remains on his side of the bed but this time finds a chair, pulls it around and sits down. His hands stay on the armrests. I glance at Soap who presses a button and holds it a bit away from himself. “This is Sergeant John MacTavish, Callsign Soap, this is day two interviewing Sergeant [Name] [Last Name] of the Eclipse Task Force.” Soap hesitates to say the next part, his eyes tracing him face as he mutters. “Last subject was Makarov’s ‘entry tests’ and ‘loyalty tests’.”

I feel my stomach collapse in on itself, tightening into a painful knot. I know this was coming eventually, even if I didn’t want it to. “Yeah, uh..” I trail off, averting my eyes to stare at something, anything but the two men looking to me for answers. “After two months of living in Russia, I got into contact with Makarov. It was completely by accident too, I was just trying to collect information about him, seem like I was interested and then I was.. picked up.“ I pause for a moment before continuing. “I had to build up a reputation, something that made it look like I didn’t pop up in this city out of the blue, y’know?”

“Мы не используем здесь его имя.” We do not use his name here. “Секретность должна быть сохранена, не так ли?” Secrecy must be kept, right?

There’s a hood over my head and my heart is pounding inside of my chest—I could die, right here and right now and nobody would know. I could fail this entire mission right at this moment and that’s fucking terrifying. I twist my wrists ever so slightly, not in an attempt to get away, but I can’t help but check out tight the rope is. I’m surprised they didn’t use handcuffs. I blink rapidly as my eyes burn a bit, trying to properly adjust to the bright light above me.

I look around and I’m in a warehouse with two men—neither of them being the man I want, but one of them is Sergei Orlov, one of the men I had been tracking since I’ve gotten here.

The intel suggests he has close connects to Makarov, indicating that he may be in a right-hand man type of situation. That’s the position I’m trying to bury my way into. Sergei’s eyes are sharp and intimidating, the color being a deep, cerulean blue with dashes of green near his pupils.

There is absolutely no light in them, no positive emotion—I didn’t expect to see any, but it makes me wonder if Makarov’s eyes are the same? Will I be able to get close enough to see?

“Мы наблюдаем за тобой уже несколько недель. Ты пытаешься предать свою страну и начать войну. Почему?” We have been watching you for several weeks now. You are trying to betray your country and start a war. Why?

My fingers twitch as I offer a scoff, a snarl curling at my lips, like I’m snapping at another dog. Of course, I show no disrespect. I need this to be perfect. “Вы не представляете, что этот мир сделал со мной, люди, которые в нем живут, сделали со мной.” You have no idea what this world has done to me, the people who live in it have done to me.

Sergei has his hands behind his back as he slowly walks around me, circling me. I keep my eyes on him as much as possible, I’m radiating distrust—trying to keep up the character I’m playing.

“Это правда, я не знаю. Но я точно знаю, что такие, как ты, просто так не появляются.” It's true, I don't know. But I know for sure that people like you don't just appear. I feel my heart drop into my stomach because fuck, man—I thought everything was good?? My backstory, my profile, I didn’t think I had any holes—

“К счастью для тебя, у нас есть сложная викторина для людей, которые, казалось бы, появились из ниоткуда. Чтобы предотвратить явку шпионов, м?” Lucky for you, we have a challenging quiz for people who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. To prevent spies, yes?

I immediately nod in response, brows furrowed, eyes filled with determination. Sergei’s lips curl into a dreadful smile—one that screams “get away from me or else”.

“Хороший.” Good. He unties my bindings, allowing me to rub my wrists. I don’t have a good feeling at all. Sergei grabs my upper arm and has me stand up, and him and the other man lead me out of the warehouse, going to a truck. “Куда мы идем?” Where are we going?

He doesn’t bother to answer me besides motioning me to sit in the back of the car. I hesitate for a moment out of weariness, but I comply. I open the door to the truck and climb into the back and Sergei slides into the back with me. The other man climbs into the driver’s seat. “привод.” Drive.

I can feel myself begin to space out with every word and I can vaguely feel my fingers tightening into a fist. I pause my retelling of events as my train of thought breaks apart, the crawling feeling on my back intensifying. “Hey,” Price’s voice is low. “You with us?” It takes everything inside of my goddamn soul to nod, but God, I wish I wasn’t. I know we’re getting close to the part of my.. atrocities.

My heart jumps inside of my chest and my monitor beeps loudly for a moment. Don’t close your eyes. Don’t close your eyes. Don’t close your eyes. Don’t close your eyes—“Hey!”

My eyes snap to Price who has a furrowed brow, annoyance lacing his features. I notice my chest is moving up and down with every harsh breath coming out through my nose. “Focus.” I grit my teeth, my fingernails digging into the palm of my hand. “I’m trying.” I retaliate with a tight voice. I understand they need this information, but they have to understand how hard it is to recount literally every single life taken, innocent ones??

“Clearly you aren’t,” Price scoffs, his lip curling in anger. “You’ve barely started the bloody report, what’s the issue?”

I laugh humorlessly, my eyes going wide. “What—Did you actually just fucking say that?” Soap stands up, putting his hand out towards his captain. “Price, I—“

“Stay out of this, Soap. That’s an order.”

I can feel my bones ache under my harsh clenching of my hand, an angry smile coming to my lips. I feel this weird smoldering feeling in my gut that’s spreading heat across my body and into my limbs. I hear my heart monitor picking up speed. “You have absolutely no fucking idea what I’ve been through—what I’ve had to do!” I’m aware I’m raising my voice, but I honestly cannot bother to give a fuck by now.

Price crosses his arms, glaring down at me. His eyes are scrutinizing and it makes me want to punch the fuckin’ daylights out of him. “You’re right,” He begins. “I have not the foggiest idea because you’ve not said anything of actual value thus far!”

Oh, he wants me to fucking punch him. This man is so fucking asking for me to knock his teeth out. I open my mouth to speak but Price swiftly interrupts me. “What did you have to do, [Name]? Kill a few innocent people? Children, maybe? Did you have to torture them?”

I can feel that hot feeling turn to ice cold in a split second, a ripple of sweat dripping down my temple. “..What?”

Price waves his hand around as a general statement. “So what, you had to gut a few children? That’s nothing. Oh, did you have to keep them alive? Did they force ya to hear their screams, [Name]? Or did you have’to—“

It’s like I don’t have control of myself when I reach forward and snatch the front of Price’s shirt and pulling him near myself, my voice loud and booming, nearly cracking. “YES, IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR? DID YOU WANT TO HEAR THE SICK DETAILS OF WHAT I DID?” I take a deep breath, continuing. This fucking rage is flowing through my bones and I just cannot shut myself up—“DID YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HOW I BROKE BONES, INFLICTED WOUNDS AND LEFT PEOPLE TO ROT?”

The room goes silent, aside from my harsh breathing and the beeping from my heart monitor. I lower my voice, but i don’t stop the absolute anger dripping from every word as I speak through clenched teeth. “Every dirty fuckin’ detail is a weight on my goddamn conscience and you don’t seem to understand that, Price.”

The room is eerily silent again and I fucking hate it. I look down at the pillow on my torso as I feel their beady little eyes peering into my soul, judging my every sin. I hear Soap turn the recorder off and I feel hot from embarrassment for a moment because I just realized.. he was recording all of that. Of fucking course.

Before anyone else can say anything, the door to my room opens. I pick my head up and see a woman in business casual clothing with a notebook, pen, and a clipboard. “Hi, my name is Doctor Elaine Stewart, I’ll be conducting this comprehensive psychological and psychiatric evaluation on you today.” Her voice is soft and light like how her hair looks—dark curls that seem to bounce right above her shoulders, her skin is a darker tan too. Her eyes are big, round, and soft. She’s British—I can’t place what region she grew up in, though.

They probably picked her because she would feel less like a threat towards me.

Dr. Stewart turns to the two men, glancing between them. “I’m going to have to ask you two to leave for patient doctor confidentiality purposes.”

Price goes to speak up, but she puts her hand up to stop him. “I’ll call if I need anything, but I’m sure we’ll be just fine.”

I hear Price sigh, but I refuse to look at him. Instead, I look to Soap, who’s peering down at me with concerned eyes. I still don’t get why he’s so concerned.. Or why he’s so quiet, because he really doesn’t seem to be a quiet person. Soap takes his notebook sketchbook thing, murmuring a “see you later” and takes his leave next to his Captain.

Once the door closes, Dr. Stewart smiles at me and walks over to my bed, heels clicking, and then takes a seat. “You know how this goes, yeah? You’ve been in the military for quite some time now.” I nod in response, taking a deep breath. My back is beginning to ache from not getting up or moving.

“Yeah, I know.” I say anyway. I put my hands on the bed and go to use my strength to sit myself up, but immediate tight and bursting pain bubbles where my stitches are. One of my hands fly to my stomach—which is covered by the pillow, followed by a loud curse. Dr. Stewart quickly sits up, alarmed. “Are you alright??”

I nod as I hiss in pain, clenching my jaw in an attempt to distract myself from the pain. “Didn’t realize it would’ve hurt so bad..”

Dr. Stewart nods, leaning over and click a button a few times which raises the back of the bed to a proper sitting up position. I feel my face heat up from embarrassment again. Fuck.

Dr. Stewart holds her clipboard and looks at me. “Have you experienced moments where you felt like you were not in your body?”

I take a moment to think about that. “Yes, but only when I was actively tortured or, er.. uh… did the torturing.” I look away from her and back at my lap, a weird feeling bubbling in my stomach. She takes a moment to write down my answer. “Have you ever felt out of control of yourself?”

I shake my head no—and then I pause. Have I? I shake my head no a second time after thinking.

“Within the last 6 months, have you heard disembodied voices or noises no one else around you could hear?”

“No.”

“Have you ever found yourself back in an event that already happened? Maybe you’re just sitting down and for a moment, you’re back in that warehouse?”

I look at her with a furrowed brow, and I immediately want to deny it, but I can’t. “I mean..” I trail off for a moment. “I don’t.. I don’t hallucinate that I’m back with Makarov’s group, if that’s what you mean.”

Dr. Stewart leans forward a bit, her perfectly painted nails tapping against the clipboard. “Then what do you mean, [Name]?” I swallow the spit in my mouth before speaking, yet it feels like my mouth has gone dry. “I don’t know, all I’m saying is that I don’t experience that.”

She looks at me—why is she staring??—and then she writes something down. “What have you done to them, [Name]?”

My heart skips a beat. “What?”

“I said, what have you experienced? I’m talking about anxiety, maybe dread, everything you’ve felt within the last day.”

Did I.. did I mishear her? She definitely said ‘what did you to them’, right?

“[Name]?”

I blink rapidly and look at her. “Sorry. What?”

Dr. Stewart bites her lower lip for a moment, watching me with worried eyes. “I think it’s best to conclude this evaluation for now. It looks like you’re having a hard time adjusting, so I will check back in with you in a few days.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” My voice is teetering on the edge of anger and I know I shouldn’t be mean, but I feel like my skeleton is trying to shed my skin from how jumpy I feel. “That means I don’t think you’re coherent enough for your interview, nor your evaluation; the one that’ll tell your superiors that you can return, anyway.” She picks her pen up and she begins to write something down—seemingly a longer paragraph. “So.. that means you have a temporary conclusion? Of my psyche?” I ask slowly, and I know that isn’t the right wording, but I’m not sure how else to do it.

Dr. Stewart stands up and begins to collect her things. She sighs and looks at me with.. sympathy?? Pity? I can’t tell. “You just went through something extremely traumatic, [Name]. You’re still in fight or flight. I can’t conduct a proper assessment like this.”

I hold my tongue from barking at her that I’m fine, from telling her to get the fuck out or me making some obscene threat.

I feel my heart sink in my chest because I feel like she’s vaguely suggesting something I cannot handle right now.

🏷️: @hardnutpost @glitterypirateduck @elowynnlane @boycigs @wolfyland07 @escapefromrealitysm @tapioca-marzipan

[chouxsardine]

Permission to Fall -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Don't be afraid of falling, because he will catch you everytime" --Where things became too much at your company's Christmas party and Jake comes to the rescue as the most thoughtful boyfriend that he is.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 3211

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, feet (nothing gross or super detailed), a drop of superstition (let me know if I've missed any)

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort

Author's note: This is originally an idea inspired by @jakesguitarsolo and written for her. I hope you feel better now, dear. One idea spins into me pulling an all nighter...And here it is. This also goes to whoever feels stressed around this time of the year. Yes, things are tough, but you are stronger. I am so proud of you. If you want to talk, feel free to send me an ask or message. This is my first gvf fic and my first time writing anything for threes years. I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

🎧: I am listening to I Need You Most of All by Stephen Sanchez while writing this (you can tell the title is taken from the lyrics)

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Suddenly everything is too much.

But you know damn well that it doesn’t just happen “suddenly”. In fact, shit has been building up for days, or even weeks. You don’t know if it’s the end-of-year frenzy getting into everyone’s head, Mercury is in retrograde, or the depleted Vitamin D levels due to shortened daylight, you’ve had it particularly rough recently, from small inconveniences like your favourite snack being out of stock at the local grocery store for three consecutive weeks to mishaps like you taking the blame for your impotent coworker. You are exhausted, to say the least; you couldn’t wait for the holidays. Not entirely for its cheer, but for the few precious days off. You just need a break from everything.

Now you are stuck in your company’s holiday party. The annual event that you dreaded the most. It involves too many fake smiles, false-hearted small talk, and tooth-rotting-sweet cupcakes that clearly have too much food colouring. All the mental preparing goes south as you stand in the room, the stabbing pain from your high-heels growing more and more unbearable by the second. Too many people.

“Just another thirty minutes, you can do it. Just another thirty minutes”. You hopelessly glance at the clock on the wall, flashbacking to your childhood self squirming in the seats waiting for math class to end.

But of course, something has to make matters worse. The real straw that breaks the camel’s back is your clumsy coworker accidentally bumping into you and spilling her drink on your shoes.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry, y/n!” She hastily apologizes in a high-pitched squeal. A few people turn their heads toward your direction.

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Embarrassment. Embarrassment. Panic. Trouble. You try to wave her off. The shoes aren’t even your top concerns right now; you just want her to stop talking and stop attracting more unwanted attention.

“Really? Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! It’s just—”

“Please.” You take the handful of tissues from her, look her in the eyes, almost pleading, “It’s fine. Please excuse me, I’ll just go to the washroom real quick.”

Once the washroom door is closed behind you, you feel like collapsing right there on the floor. You wobble your way to the sink, arms propped up on the cold marble surface. You don’t dare to look at yourself in the mirror. Your ears are buzzing and the twisted feeling in your lungs tightens. As if a cold hand is wringing a wet towel inside your stomach, as if someone is shoving your head into cold water, you can't breath properly. You try to draw a breath, but end up sounding like a stranded whale. Before it develops into a full-blown panic attack that you can’t handle, you managed to muster the last bit of your sanity and dial that number with trembling fingers.

Jake picks up on the second ring.

“Hi, love. What’s up? ”

Upon hearing his voice, your tears break free. You are sobbing so hard that you have to bite down on your knuckles to keep the volume down. God forbid any busybody out there overhearing sobbing coming out of the washroom. “Ja—Jake—-”You struggled to form a coherent syllable.

“What’s wrong, y/n? Are you hurt?” His voice immediately grows sterner, stripped of of the previous languidness.

To talk under this state feels like squeezing words out of your veins. “Ca—can—you..come p—pick me up? Company—p-party.” You stutter through gritted teeth.

There is some shuffled noise over the phone, a loud bang sounding like he had bumped into something, a silent “fuck” under his breath, then his voice reaches your ears again: “Coming right now, baby, take a deep breath for me.”

You hear the faint beeping of car keys. More shuffled noise. More beeping. That means he has started the car, right? That means he will be here soon, right? You mind is racing and spinning and your lungs are still acting up, only allow silvers of oxygen into your body. You feel like you are watching the world through a distorted filter. A scarier thought jumps into your brain: you whiny puny thing, continue crying and your panic will affect Jake. The roads are slippery now, and it will be all your fault if he ends up in a car accident.

As if being slapped in the face, you manage to suck in a deep breath like a scuba diver resurfacing to the water: “Drive safe please, please Jake, please—I will wait for you.”

Jake makes a sound that is somewhat between a relieved laugh and a resigned sigh. He knows instantly what’s going on in your overthinking brain; you are worried about him. The thoughtfulness must be engraved in y/n’s brain, he thought, always, always putting others in front of herself, even when she’s having a panic attack. And Jake knows you are correct. It is only upon hearing your words that he realizes how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He recomposes himself, relaxing his shoulder, “Don’t you worry about me, love. I will stay on the phone if that makes you feel better, yeah? Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.”

“Knock on wood!” You hiss between sobbing, frantically searching for any wooden material around you. Damn it, why is everything so shiny and glassy?

Jake is amazed that he even lets out a short laugh under the circumstances. Yes, his heart aches hearing his girl being a mess over the phone, and he wishes he could grow wings and fly to her side. But meanwhile, he can't help but find you cute like this. He knocks three times on the mini wooden tissue box that he keeps in the middle console.

“Yes, knock on wood. You hear that, doll?”

“Hmm.” You would honestly believe anything now. Hearing Jake’s voice and imagining him coming to you is like brown noise for babies. Your lungs finally decide to have mercy on you, and you can now somehow draw in shallow breaths albeit the pain in your chest.

Jake is relieved as he sees the green lights shining at the last intersection before turning left onto the side road where your company is located. “I’m here. Can you come down by yourself, love? Or do you want me to get you?”

“I can come down.” You say. The thought of him finding you in a messy pile on the bathroom floor makes you wince, even though he’d probably seen worse.

“Okay baby, see you in a second.”

You don’t remember how you collected your coat and pushed your way through the crowded room without many people noticing. The next moment, your sensations are restored, and you find yourself already in Jake’s arms. He's waiting for you in the area between the automatic glass door and the revolving door outside, a place that is warm with air conditioning but won’t attract nosy people. He wraps you in a hug with his wool jacket. His comforting scent fills your nostrils, a powerful pacifier for your naughty lungs. For the first time this evening, you can finally breathe properly like a normal human being. The rush of fresh air makes you release a loud sob like a newborn baby. The relief of seeing him safely standing in front of you and the release of finally being free from the stressful and stuffy environment ushers more tears to stream down your face.

“Shhhh…..you’re okay now, y/n, safe now. I’m here.” His hand wraps protectively around the back of your head as he plants kisses into your hair. “Poor girl, let’s get to the car and go home.”

Home. Home sounds heavenly to your right now. You couldn’t think of a better combination of these four letters in the whole of human history.

On the way back, you curl into a ball on the passenger seat like a battered puppy. Jake holds your hand whenever he gets the chance, his strong calloused fingers gently massaging yours, tracing the patterns on your palm, his thumb brushing the back of your hand, providing warmth. No longer crying, your shoulders occasionally shudder with involuntary sobs that escape you. But other than that, you are falling into a trance. Your gaze concentrated on Jake’s perfect side profile through hooded eyes, watching in awe as the passing streetlights formed patterns of shadow on his graceful nose and cheeks; your mind numb without a single thought.

It is only when Jake wakes you up that you realize you have fallen asleep. The car is already parked in the garage, the familiar and comforting damp smell seeping in.

“We are home now, sleepyhead.” Jake smiles at you, tapping on your wrist to signal you to wait as he gets out of the car and opens your side of the door. Just as you were about to step off, Jake reaches to cradle you by the shoulders and knees, carrying you bridle-style into the house. You hide your face shyly in the crook of his neck, secretly grateful because your feet are indeed sore in those heels.

Jake puts you down by the shoe rack, motioning you to put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he squats down in front you, holding your ankles and taking off your shoes. If he did see the stains, he didn’t ask any questions, only cooed when he saw the blisters on your heels.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your makeup off, then we’ll cuddle and go to bed, yeah?” Jake stands up, hanging up your coat before cupping your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You never hated makeup more than now, regretting to put it on in the first place, now that it has become the annoying barrier lying in your way to bedtime. But Jake says “let’s,” that means he’s going to do it together with you, right?

“Jake?” You whine bashfully.

“Yes, love?”

You tilt up your chin and close your eyes, “One more kissy, please?”

Jake swears he feels a part of his heart melt right there. Who is he to deny you?

“Of course, as many as my princess would like.”

Stepping into the bathroom, Jake sits you on the closed toilet seat. He opens the drawer, grabs your makeup remover and some cotton pads. He applies some liquid onto the wipes and lifts up your chin.

“Close your eyes for me, love.” The cool liquid on your eyelids makes your eyebrows twitch, causing Jake to chuckle, ��I know, I know. Just a little longer.”

You sit quietly, mesmerized and hypnotized under his touch. His movements are almost rhythmic. Is this how cats feel when their owners scratches behind their ears? You fear that if you make a sound, you will actually let out a purr.

Jake continues until most of your makeup is gone. “Hold out your hands,” you hear him say and complied. Two dollops of foamy liquid landed in the centre of your palm, and you opened your eyes to recognize they are your face wash. Jake tugs on your wrist, leading you to stand in front of the sink.

“Can you wash your pretty face now, darling? Wash up, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

You nodded, feeling lighter and more relaxed now without your makeup and even more content when you turn on the tap and find out that Jake has already tuned it to a lukewarm temperature for you.

When Jake returned, he was calling you from the bedroom. You have already brushed your teeth and let down your hair.

You walked into the bedroom and are welcomed by the scent of bergamot and sandalwood from your favourite candle glowing on the night stand. Jake was pulling an old T-shirt out from the closet. It was the vintage Joan Jett and The Blackhearts shirt, the patterns half faded, and materials worn-out soft. You saw him laying out one of his boxers for you too. He knows you always prefer them to your own underwear as pyjamas.

“Come sit, angel.” He patted the bench at the foot of the bed, him sitting across from it on a small stool.

It is only when you walked close that you saw the wooden foot spa basin, with clouds of steam rising from it. As you sat down, he gently took your ankle and balanced your feet on the edge of the basin, so that the hot water is steaming your sole.

“It’s still a bit hot.” He looks up to you. “I put Epsom salt and eucalyptus oil in it.”

“Where did you get this?” You feel like the heat from the bottom of the feet is slowly being absorbed into your veins and rising up to your cheeks. You wiggle your toes nervously.

Jake lets out a giggle, “Well, mum suggested once to Josh about the foot spa thing, said it helps with stress and tense muscles. You know, with him running barefoot on stage and all.” He reaches down to sprinkle some water onto your feet, letting you adjust to the temperature. “But Josh got the fancy electric ones. I thought this is better. More authentic, don’t you think?”

“Uh-hmm.”

“Your nails are all chipped,” Jake looks down, “maybe tomorrow we can repaint them? I saw you bought a new colour the other day.”

Tender. So tender. From his tone to his caramel brown eyes. The light from the lamp illuminates the left side of his face, giving it a solemn, smooth glow like a wax statue. Your heart swells; love makes it rise like Soufflé in the oven. The soft surface rises up until it touches your ribcage, threatening to spill those tears again.

“Thank you, Jake.” You dare not raise your voice, fearing that it will break, “I just got a bit overwhelmed at the party, is all.”

Jake eases your feet slowly into the water now that it’s the perfect temperature. The slight sling of your blisters is soon overwhelmed by the all-encompassing warmth that rises all the way to your ankle.

After a few heart beats, he speaks again. “You’ll always have me, y/n. You are allowed to fall, to break. I will be here to catch you, to piece you together. Whatever you need.”

Finally you were snuggled together in bed. You, a human koala, cling to Jake with your face pressed against his chest. His arm snakes around your shoulder, fingers mindlessly tracing your collarbone, strumming some unknown patterns. His heartbeat thumping in your ear, the perfect lullaby. The steady rise and fall of his chest is like waves, rocking you into a sweet slumber. Your eyelids feel heavy like velvet drapes. There’s still a stubborn voice in your brain keeping you from falling asleep. There’s still one more thing you need to do, even though you understood each other perfectly.

“Jake?” Your voice low like a murmur. Jake almost didn’t hear you at first.

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you.” Those words come out as a slur, and like a magic spell, you fall into the deep embrace of sleep as soon as the last syllable leaves your lips. Now clear of any stress and worries in the arms of your lover, the strained string in you brain that has been holding on for dear life the whole evening finally snaps. You’re out like a light.

“I love you back, y/n, through and through.” He whispers into your dream.

You woke up to an empty bed, the sheet on his side still has the human-shaped imprint. Jake is a night owl; it is pretty common that he just gets up in the middle of the night and ends up doing some random things around the house. Most often it’s him strumming the guitar and experimenting with his ideas for new tunes in the home studio downstairs. But you have also caught him fixing chipped paint on the walls, repotting the succulents in the garage, and pouring broth into the crockpot with chicken thighs and smoked ham hock (“so we could have warm chicken chili in the morning!”; to be honest, it’s indeed delicious; you had two bowls and had to skip lunch that day). Just to name a few, so the possibilities are endless.

You get out of bed, creep cross the corridor and tiptoe your way down the stairs. The lights at the doorway are on; you thought Jake forgot to turn them off. However, as you approach, you see Jake squatting down next to the shoe rack, his back towards you, and a brush and some spray bottles laying nearby.

You move closer and see him holding the clothes steamer near your wine-stained shoes. The heels you wore have a suede tip in the front, and unfortunately, that’s where the wine was mostly spilt on. After a few moments, Jake uses the wire brush to clean the surface. He stops from time to time, holding it further to inspect the result.

You waited until he stops again to make some sounds, announcing your presence. Jake immediately turns around. His eyes softens upon seeing you.

“What are you doing up?”

You go to squat down next to him, kissing his temple before resting your head on his shoulder.

“You just bought these not so long ago, yeah? It’d be a shame to leave them stained.” Jake lets more steam soak into the fabric before brushing them again. “I’m almost done. I saw this trick online, and it looks pretty legit.” It’s only then that you noticed his phone on the side, the screen showing the replies from some Reddit post.

“Thank you, baby.” You rub your cheeks slightly on his T-shirt; the feeling of warm pastry once again fills your heart.

“No worries, doll. I think it’s good for now. Let’s leave them here and check in the morning.” Jake starts putting away his tools before pulling you up and wrapping his arm around your waist, leading you back upstairs.

On your way, something familiar catches your eye. You must’ve missed it earlier.

“Wait, where did you get that?” You stop, pointing at what happens to be a whole case of your favourite snack lying on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I saw the stores are out of them, so I ordered them online. They just arrived today.” Jake scratches his head, his tone tainted with slight disappointment.“I thought they’d be a nice surprise as stocking stuffers, but…”

You stopped him mid-sentence with a kiss.

“I love you.” This time you said it clear against his lips.

“Oh doll, I love you back,” he smiles, showing the cutest wrinkle on his nose. His hands brush your shoulder as you resume your steps upstairs. “Let’s get a few more hours of sleep now. And when you wake up, you will wake up to some yummy pancakes and a pair of stain-free shoes, huh? How does that sound?”

Oh Lord, that sounds heavenly. That sounds just like home.

“I’d like that, Jake. I’d like that very, very much.”

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Thank you for reading :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated

(The stain-removing tips comes from malccy72 on reddit :D

If you also feel like reading a smutty (but also fluffy?) piece🤭: Mariner's Complex || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

or some Christmas fluff: Ticked (all my boxes)

[justmeinadaze]

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) Part 2 (Steddie X You)

Warnings with some notes: Soft Dom Steddie and Singer Reader, Smut and angst, reader has flashbacks of her fight with Simon from the last chapter (Domestic violence trigger!), her need to numb with alcohol and drugs is touched on briefly, Eddie alludes to his past with his dad.

This chapter does deal with some darker themes of Y/N feeling like she's nothing because toxic people have made her believe that. Please never forget that you matter and your feelings ARE valid <3.

Word Count: 4305

Your eyes snapped open to darkness as the images from your nightmare were slowly beginning to fade away. Nightmares weren’t new for you but this one involving Simon trying to hurt you was. It took you moment as you sat up to catch your breath to remember you weren’t alone in your guest bedroom tonight. 

Ever the gentlemen, even though you asked them to sleep in bed with you, both men had fallen asleep as close to the edge that they could and on top of your covers. Eddie was facing you, his arms folded against his chest as he slept. Steve’s chest gently rose and fell as his head remained angled towards the bedroom door. 

Without jostling the bed too much, you crawled out from under your blanket and headed for the kitchen to grab a glass of water. You stared at the whiskey bottle on the counter, frozen in place as the night’s events played through your mind. 

Simon was already irritable when you came back from having lunch with the guys but after telling him where you were he had gotten extremely jealous. 

“They are security, not your fucking friends. Why are you having lunch with them?!”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe cause they earned it. They did protect your girlfriend from a mob last night.”

“A mob? Seriously? You’re so fucking dramatic.”

“You wouldn’t know because you weren’t fucking there even though you said you would be!”

“Are you fucking them?”

“I’m not even going to entertain that with an answer.”, you scoff.

Simon’s arm shoots out, gripping your biceps tightly as you whine in pain. “You will fucking entertain it. Tell me now or I swear to God, Y/N…”

“Let. Me. Go.”

“Answer me.”

“Yes, Simon. Oh my god. You caught me.”, you respond sarcastically as you widen your eyes in jest. “I just met them last week and I swear…I couldn’t get them inside me fast enough. Even though I’ve been planning an album, tour, and singing at the concert I had, I still had enough time to just blow their minds. It only takes 2 minutes, right, baby? ‘In and out’ At least that’s how I refer to our sex life.”

His palm collided with your cheek hard, knocking your back into the adjacent wall.

“I have never once heard you or any other fucking woman complain. You think you’re so smart and perfect. Let me tell you, sweetie, you’re not. You’re just like every other fucking small-town whore who comes to the city to become ‘something’. There is absolutely nothing special about you, babe, and deep down you know that. That’s why you ply yourself with drugs and fucking liters of vodka. You. Are. Nothing.”

A tear escapes down your eye and you scold yourself internally for letting him see how much his words were hurting you. Abruptly, you lift you knee, hitting his stomach, and running to your bedroom as he howls in pain.

“Sweetheart?”

“Jesus!” You jump as the glass in your hand falls to the ground.

“Hey. Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you alright?”, Eddie asked, hands held up in surrender as he slowly moves towards you.

“Yeah, I…shit. I didn’t hear you come in.” As you start to step forward, his hand reaches out to lightly grab your forearm. 

“No. Don’t move. You aren’t wearing any shoes or slippers. Let me clean this up for you.”

You couldn’t help but softly giggle as he bent down to get the big pieces of glass with his hands. “Neither are you.”

“True but my feet aren’t as pretty as yours. I mean with the…”, he gestures towards your pedicured toes. 

“Are you…security guarding my feet, Mr. Munson?”

A small smirk slides across his face as he rises and throws the pieces into the trash before reaching into a nearby closet to grab a broom.

“You could say that. They are a part of you and I’m supposed to protect you so… plus I like the pastel purple color thing you got going on there.”

“It’s my favorite color. Usually my nails have to match the outfit but depending on my shoes I can have that be any color really so I always choose purple.” Eddie’s grin grows as he nods his head, finishing his task and putting everything away. “Thank you…again…for tonight.”

“Of course. Probably a silly question but how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”, you lie. 

He nods again, his fingers tracing your arm where Simon had grabbed you. You tried not to flinch but it hurt too much. The metalhead opens your freezer and takes the first frozen, bagged item he sees before waving you to follow him as he heads for your couch. 

Carefully, he places the cold object on your bruises making you wince. 

“Growing up, when I had bruises like these, my mom would put peas or steak on my wound and tell me that it had healing powers. For a while I believed her because the next day the cuts and bruises didn’t hurt as bad.”

“Were you just a rough and tumble kid? Why did you get hurt so much?”

“My father would probably tell you it’s because I deserved it.” His beautiful brown eyes met yours, telling a story that he couldn’t just yet. 

“Oh…”

“Is everyone ok?” Steve sleepily sauntered into the living room and tossed himself onto one of your comfy chairs. 

“Took you long enough, Stevie. She’s been up for…”, Eddie glances at his watch. “…15 minutes. Give or take.” He chuckles at your shocked expression. “You were mumbling in your sleep and then kind of groaned when you woke up. That fully woke me up. I thought you were getting something to drink and then coming back. When you didn’t, I went searching till I found you staring into the void of the kitchen counter.”

“Yeah. I kind of got lost in thought for a moment.”

“Can we ask what you were thinking about?”

You turned towards the other boy, unsure if you should be honest. 

“I was going over the fight Simon and I had.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I’d rather talk about you guys.”

“I have an idea. Why don’t we make some breakfast, get some coffee, and then you can ask us anything you want to.”

“Ok. I don’t have many foods in here but…” Your eyes follow Steve as he stands up and heads for your kitchen. 

“Hm. I see eggs and bacon.” He starts pulling ingredients out and placing them on the counter, pausing to look at you. “Are you going to come help me or not?”

You giggle as you head his way, not noticing when Eddie smiles after you before getting up himself and disappearing down the hallway. 

“I have zero idea how to cook anything.”

“Well, thankfully, eggs are one of the easiest things to make.” Your eyes focus as you watch him work, listening to every tip he gives you. “Here, take this and I’m going to start the coffee.”

Panicking internally, you take the spatula from his hand, coping everything you had seen him do. After a couple of minutes, you felt his palm tenderly press against your lower back. 

“There you go. Pfft Miss I have no idea how to cook.” Steve grins down at you as your eyes light up at his compliment, proud that you were able to do something with the added bonus of making him happy. “Alright, let me plate this here. Ed! Food!”

Your eyes swing around the room, not realizing he had left it at all. 

“I’m comin’! Geez. I cleaned up the mess on your bedroom floor, Y/N. Later today, we’ll see about getting your door hooked back up, okay?”

“I…thank you. I could have helped you.”

Eddie takes a seat at your table as you plop down beside him and begin digging into your food. Steve brings you a cup filled to the brim with caffeine and sits across from his friend. 

“It’s no problem. He did more damage to the door and you…” You glance down at your plate as you take another small bite. Ringed fingers slide into your peripherals and tap your hand. “What did you want to ask us?”

“Are you from California?”

“Indiana actually.”, Steve answers. “Small town hidden away.”

“You said you were good at protecting people. Did you do that in Indiana?”

“At the bar in town, yeah. I used to play there with my band and on the weekends it would get a bit…rough. Steve saved my ass when some big, muscle-bound guy tried to punch me because he thought I was flirting with his girlfriend while we were playing.”

“He was but that’s beside the point.”, the other boy jokingly whispers making you laugh. 

“We also had some kids we grew up with that were bullied a lot so we protected them.”, Eddie smiled. “About two years ago, Harrington suggested we move out here to get more clients and make more money. For a while we were with this indie band but then they broke up.”

“Oof. I don’t have a band so no worries about that here. So, what’s your end goal? Do you want your own security company or…?”

“I mean technically we do have our own security company. Eddie and I are freelance so we don’t answer to anyone.” You nod your head at his answer as you take a sip from your cup. “What about you? Where are you from?”

“Haven’t goggled me yet, I see.”

“No fun in that especially when I’m sure whatever we would read would have some glaring plot holes.”

“True. I’m from a city down south. Definitely not a small town up bringing but very much a hardheaded one. My family always wanted me to be ‘something’ like a doctor or a teacher. I knew that wasn’t for me.”

“They don’t like that you sing?”

“My parents don’t get it. They see ‘real music’ as something like Johnny Cash or Dolly Parton. Since I’m not on that level I haven’t officially made it to them. I’m just fucking around on stage with a microphone.”, you roll your eyes. 

“I know Johnny Cash. I don’t think I’ve ever listened to Dolly Parton.” Your jaw drops open as you stare at Steve. 

“He’s a bit sheltered, sweetheart.”, Eddie teases. 

Quickly getting to your feet, you run to the bedroom to grab your phone, scrolling through it as you sit back down. “9 to 5” by Dolly Parton begins to play through the little speaker as you hold It out towards him. 

“On Saturday mornings, I remember waking up to my mom blaring this song with the windows open as she cleaned. The sun always seemed to shine through the windows perfectly and she seemed so happy. We would sing together while I helped her.” You smiled as your got lost in the memory. 

“I like it.”, Steve grinned as he bobbed his head. The music cut off as a phone call came through and you sighed, recognizing the ID. “Who is it this early?”

“Simon. He’s calling from the police station for me to bail him out.”

“Is that something you normally do?”, Eddie asked, huffing under his breath when you nod your head. “Y/N, he’s never going to stop taking advantage of you if you keep letting him and bailing him out.”

Anger suddenly flooded your expression as you turned on him. “Look, you don’t get it. I’m really sick and fucking tired of you two constantly pointing out how ‘weak’ I am by letting people ‘take advantage’ of me!”

“Did we say she was weak?” The metalhead turned towards his friend who promptly shook his head in response. 

“She’s definitely not weak. Scared maybe.”

“Pfft, please! What do I have to be scared of?!”

“Being alone, I imagine. Going back to being that southern little girl who was nothing.”, Steve shrugs as he leans back in his chair.

“I’m not nothing! Why do people keep saying that!?” You rise from your chair and stomp towards the kitchen, reaching for the bottle of vodka, popping the top, and chugging some of it back. 

You yelp as the bottle is yanked from your grasp and you watch as Eddie pours the liquid down the drain. “We didn’t say you were nothing. He’s saying YOU feel that way. Why is that, Y/N? Does Simon keep telling you that? Because if anyone here is nothing it’s that asshole.”

“You are not my father. You can’t just throw out my stuff like that!”

“Stop acting like a child and we’ll stop treating you like one.”

In defiance, you reach in your cabinet to grab another bottle of the hard liquor but Steve blind sides you as he comes up from behind and takes it from your hands. You stomp your feet as Eddie pours its contents down the sink as well. 

As you bend down to grab another, he blocks the area with his body.

“Move, Steve.”

He matches your glare with one of his one. “Make me. Hell, I’ll even make you deal. If you can move me, you can have what’s inside and we won’t stop you.”

Growling, you try and shove at his body with your small frame but it’s no use, he’s too strong.

“Stop it, Steve! Move!”

“Oh, come on, little girl. You’re giving up that easy?” 

You continue to throw a tantrum as you fold your arms over your chest. For moment you pause as you become slightly aware that you are being more of a brat than normal. Is it because they were pushing you? As your eyes shifted between theirs you noticed that dominate air return that you had only seen in them. 

They see it to within your demeanor as you partially descended into the headspace. They knew this was a professional boundary they shouldn’t cross but it was hard to be levelheaded when your big, beautiful eyes continued to penetrate theirs with need. A need to be protected and feel loved; to feel safe.

“You don’t need alcohol to make you feel better, honey.”

“Yeah? And what do I need, Steve?”

He took one confident step forward, backing you into the island behind you. “Personally, I think you need to be reminded how important you are and how much you matter. You need to be shown how fucking gorgeous you are and deserve to be treated right.”

Eddie’s lower belly grazed your hand as he came to your side. “You deserve to be up on a pedestal, Y/N.” Your eyes flutter shut as his lips graze the shell of your ear. “That way we can pull you off of it and make you cum till you’re begging us to stop.”

Your fingers tangle in the fabric of his shirt as you pull his lips to yours. Fuck he tastes so good…

You’re both panting once you’re finally able to pull away. 

“Th-this is…we shouldn’t be doing this.”, you whisper.

“No, we shouldn’t.” Steve’s palms grip your thighs as he lifts you onto the counter, kissing you passionately as you cling to his neck. 

You growl as your phone rings again but pause when their phones ping from different places in the house. Taking your device from Eddie’s grasp, you thank him as he hands it over to you. Resting your forehead against the man’s chest, you whine as you answer. 

“Hello Sarah.”

“You need to come down here now. We need to talk about the incident last night.”

“Can we do it tomorrow?”

“No, we can’t do it tomorrow! The morning news is already talking about this and we need to get ahead of it as much as possible. Get over here now, please.”, she commanded before disconnecting. 

“Hm. Well that would be my publicist, Sarah. I should go shower.” You flash them a soft smile as you slide down from the counter. “I’m sure you noticed but I have a shower in the guest room if you guys want to freshen up or anything.”

“Yeah, looks like your agent wants us there to.”, Eddie sighs as he shows Steve the text. 

“Our morning just got very exciting, gentlemen.”

###########

“Ok, let me ask this out right because depending on how you answer is where we go from here. Are you going to bail him out?”

Your eyes shifted towards the boys as they leaned against the wall to the side of you. You did every single time something happened with Simon. No matter what it was, you were always there to bail him out but after what happened and what the guys told you about deserving better…

“Um, no. Not this time.”

Sarah makes an amused face as she nods her head. “Good for you, Y/N. Fuck him. Are you considering that your way of dumping his ass?”

“I, um, yes. I think so… I’m sorry. Its just last night was a lot and I haven’t even really had time to process it.”

“I understand, Y/N. Now I have to ask just so I can be prepared for anything he might say… What exactly happened?”

“I came home and he was angry--”

“About what?”

Her question quickly followed your statement throwing you off guard. “Um, I had lunch with some…some friends and he got jealous.” You didn’t need to look their way again to know their eyes were penetrating your body. “He thought I was cheating on him.”

“Insecure fucker always thinks that with you. Ok, and then what?”

“I told him to fuck off and he hit me.”

“And then you called these two?” 

Eddie clears his throat when you nod. “She said she needed help so we sped down there and handled the situation.”

“Ok. Ok, ok, ok.”, Sarah exhales as she leans against her desk. “I’m going to write a formal statement and give it to the press. Something along the lines of you’re safe and will no longer tolerate this kind of behavior. You…pray for him to heal and wish him all the best?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. “, you sigh as you nonchalantly wave your hand. “I feel like we could have done this over the phone.”

“We could have but we didn’t.”

***

“You didn’t say the fight you two had was about us.”

“You’re right, Mr. Harrington. I didn’t.” He and Eddie exchanged a look as the metalhead continued to drive back towards your house. “To be fair…he thinks I’m fucking everybody so…”

“Are you?”

“Excuse me?”, you ask angrily.

“We wouldn’t blame you, sweetheart. You put on that little display for us when you and Simon were fucking before you snuck out to the bar. You were in there for a while and I don’t think we heard you cum once.”

“Like men can tell when a woman climaxes.”

“We can…but that could just be because our girls are always screaming our names and begging for more.”, Steve chuckles as Eddie grins.

“Oh my god. So fucking cocky. Simon has made me cum.”

As they hit a hit a red light, Steve quickly gets out and switches to the backseat so he can be beside you. 

“He has? I don’t believe it.”

Your breath catches in your throat as he throws his arm behind your head against the seat, allowing his body to scoot closer to yours. 

“I mean… believe whatever you want…”

His fingers behind your head play with your hair as he moves it away from your face, his other palm coming to graze your thigh. 

“You seem like the kinda girl that makes a lot of noise when you cum.”

“Especially with a beautiful voice like hers.”, Eddie adds. 

Your eyes flutter closed as his nose glides along your cheek, the hand on your thigh gradually moving up your pant covered leg. You desperately wanted him to touch you more but refused to ask or even beg for it. Instead, you chose to ground yourself, placing your own hand on his knee as you clung to the fabric of his shorts. 

Steve’s lips delicately traced along your neck as his palm finally found its way between your legs. “Your so warm already. I wonder how wet you are. Can I find out?” Licking your lips, you aggressively nod your head. “Say it, honey. Use your words.”, he whispers in your ear. 

“You…you can touch me.”

His head tilts as he looks down at your body, moving your shirt to the side a bit so he can slide his massive hand under the waistband of your leggings and panties. 

“Fuck me, Y/N. You are just dripping.”

You moan as his fingers glide through your sex as he plays with your pussy, your hand on his knee rising higher. 

“Do you want to touch my cock, baby? You can.”, Steve murmurs against your skin, groaning when he feels your cunt flutter against the pads of digits. 

He shuffles closer to you as you lift your leg and place it over his own allowing him more access as one of his fingers breaches your entrance. His lips find yours, humming against them as your palm rubs his groin. 

“Jesus… Ed, she’s…she’s so fucking tight.” As he turns to talk to his friend, your mouth places feathery light kisses along his jawline to his neck. Your hooded eyes open when you feel his throat vibrate against you as he laughs. “You ok, man?”

“Yeah…f-fuck… we’re-we’re almost at her house. I need jerk off so fucking bad. Her moans are so fucking sexy.”

“You’re—mmm—you’re not gonna fuck me?”

Steve turns his attention back to you, his eyes meeting yours as he slips a second finger into your sex.

“No, pretty girl. Not today.”

Eddie parks the car in your shaded driveway, hastily unbuckling his seatbelt before turning around to face you both. You watched him with lust driven eyes as he unbuttoned his pants before licking his hand and stroking his length. 

“You…you don’t want me?” You barely even recognize the voice that just left you, sounding like a little girl who was denied dessert. What was it about these men that had you behaving that way?

A heavy sigh escaped Steve at the sound and you felt his cock twitch against your hand as you made a mental note of his reaction.

“We do, honey. Fuck do we ever… you just went through a lot last night. Your body and mind need to rest.”

As his fingers thrust faster into you, your hand tries to match his pace. “Can…can I?”

He nods, lifting his hips as you pull his shorts down just enough to free his dick from its confinement. Leaning over his lap, you spit onto his tip, and he mewls as your tiny hand wraps around him. Steve curls his fingers inside of you as his elbow locks, straightening out his arm.

“Fuck, Steve. Please.”

“Steve…tell me more—mmm—about how she feels.”

The man tried to focus to do what his friend asked but it was hard with your hand alone bringing him close to the edge. 

“Fuck, Eddie…so fucking tight. Her pussy is just gripping my fingers, man…feels…feels so good. I don’t know…how—fuck, baby. Faster—I don’t know how our…our cocks are going to fit.”

His filthy words shot straight to your core, clenching around Steve’s fingers as you came. Your free hand flew down to grab his wrist, trying to get him to stop as he continued to pump his digits inside of you. When your head collapsed on his shoulder, he held you tighter to him as his spend shot out and on his thigh.

Eddie panted as he soon followed after, throwing his head back as he cursed under his breath. 

Steve carefully slid his hand out of your pants, bringing his fingers to his mouth as he tasted you. 

“You taste so sweet, Y/N. Are you ok?”

You lazily nod your head as you tug yourself closer to his chest. This was new for you. Usually after anything sexual, you wanted to be left alone. Even with Simon, you would always recoil away when he would try to cuddle you after. Maybe it’s because you always felt like trash after he finished. Most of your sexual experience were done under an intoxicated haze or with a selfish lover who just wanted to use you to get off. 

As you listened to this man’s heartbeat, you suddenly felt extremely clingy, fearful that as soon as you let him go he would be gone forever. Eddie was already too far for your liking and you could tell he saw the panic in your eyes as his own gorgeous orbs scanned your face. 

“Hey.”, he cooed. “I’m right here, okay? We’re not going anywhere unless you want us to.”

At his friend’s words, Steve quickly craned his neck so he could look at you to. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you inside and back in bed. Do you think you can walk?”

What kind of question was that? Of course you could walk. The thing was…you didn’t want to. You wanted them to help you. You needed them to.

“Can Eddie carry me?”

The metalhead chuckles as he buttons his pants before getting out of the car and coming around to your side. “Whatever you need, princess.”

As he lifted you into his arms, you encircled your own limbs around his neck as you nuzzled his skin. After carefully placing you onto your mattress, he removed your shoes, socks, and pants so you could be more comfortable. You turned onto your side; eyes fully closed as you snuggled into your pillow. 

“Please don’t leave me here alone.”, you mumbled. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We aren’t going anywhere.”

###########

@rckstrbee @melodymishahiddlestan @alienthingstwo

@siriuslysmoking @micheledawn1975 @cositaslua

@unfocused81 @paleidiot @steddieloverrr @aol19

[pbforeva]

don’t wanna be around my moms boyfriend so i’m gonna give you guys part 8 🤗

part 8!

—

Evelyn's pov:

I yawn, as I stretch out my legs. After bringing my hands up to rub my eyes, I finally look around and realize this isn't my bedroom. Umm, so where am I?

I check to make sure I'm still in the clothes I was in last night, but to my horror, I'm wearing a pair of pink pajama pants and a white Uconn hoodie. Oh my gosh, did something happen? Blake is gonna be so pissed if it did, and honestly I wouldn't blame him. Oh gosh, Blake. I told him I would text him before I went to bed last night, and I most definitely didn't. This is bad, really bad.

Wait, I still have to figure out where I am. Who changed me? Oh no, no, no, this can't have happened. Tears well in my eyes as I realize if someone changed me, they would've seen my bruises.

Panicked, I get up, trying to find any trace of the person who this room belongs to. The walls are covered in basketball posters, and the bed I woke up on had a purple duvet. That is literally no help I groan, but it seems that it's at least a girls room, thankfully.

Hearing faint voices from outside the room, I muster up the courage to leave the mysterious room. As I walk through the door, I see Aubrey in the kitchen. I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulder, knowing that I'm in her dorm; however, my body stiffens as I remember one of them had to change me.

I walk into the living room to see Paige watching a show on the couch. I go sit next to her and begin to ask her about last night.

"So, um, what time did we come home?" I quietly questioned.

Turning to me, she softly says, "we probably got back around 11:30, but Aurora thought it would be better if you came back with us."

"Oh, so whose room was I in? and also did I change by myself?" I ask, while I pray the last answer is yes.

"Well, you slept in my room, and I just slept on the couch, but you were pretty drunk and wouldn't change, so I changed you. I hope that's okay." She says, her voice hitching before she answered the latter question.

She definitely saw the bruises. I don't know what I could say to get out of this. I hope she just ignores it, but I think i'll just wait and see if she brings it up. "Oh, yeah it's fine, but you didn't have to give me your room." I say sheepishly.

"It's no problem, honestly," she says, while she resumes whatever she was watching. Right after I thank her, Aubrey calls out, saying breakfast is ready.

Paige's pov:

**flashback to last night**

I lead everyone up the stairs to our hallway, and before I can speak up, Aurora tells me she thinks it would be best if Evelyn stayed with us for the night. After agreeing, we all head to our rooms, and I take Evelyn by the hand and lead her to my room.

She is still drunk, but I know she won't be able to sleep in these jeans. I grab a pair of pajama pants and a random hoodie from my closet, after a few attempts of trying to get her to change into them, she continues to laughs at every request.

I decide I have to try to change her myself if she won't change, I take a deep breath and try to be as fast as possible. I tell Evelyn I'm going to change her, and she makes no protest, so I start.

Gently, I grab the hem of her shirt and lift it off of her small frame. I try not to look, but I can't help myself from inspecting the bruises that line her stomach. The purple and blue mush together in certain places, creating an almost marbled effect. Tears spring in my eyes, as I can't imagine how much this must have hurt, and how I probably added to her pain by hugging her.

Tearing my eyes away from her stomach, I grab my hoodie, and start putting it on her, but when I'm guiding her hand out of the sleeve, I notice small bruises along her wrist. They look to be bruises of someone's fingerprints. I think I might go crazy on this boyfriend of hers. How can he treat a girl this pretty and delicate so horribly?

I quickly take off her jeans and slip on the pajama pants. I tuck her under covers, and I change myself into a similar outfit, then head out to the living room to sleep on the couch.

**flashback over**

During breakfast with Aubrey, Evelyn, and Azzi, I couldn't help but not talk. There was so much racing through my mind. How should I approach this with her? Likewe haven't even known each other that long, but Aurora texted me saying she couldn't do it.

Aurora

Hey, I'm sorry, but I don't think I

can be the one to ask Evelyn about

the bruises. I just don't think I have it in

me. Could you?

Yeah, of course

After breakfast is over, I lead Evelyn to my room. Taking a breath, I sit on the bed and tell her to sit next to me.

"Hey, is everything okay?" She worriedly questions me.

"Actually, no," I reply back, thinking I might as well get it over with.

"Well, what is it?" She asks while placing a hand on my back.

"I'm going to ask you a question and I need you to be one-hundred percent honest with me," I plead, and then adding, "please.."

"Umm, I can try," She says while looking back at me, almost like she knows what I'm going to say.

I take a breath before I begin, "Last night at the party, I noticed bruises on your stomach while you were dancing. They weren't small bruises either, they looked like they were placed there intentionally, were they?" I ask, looking at her with soft eyes.

I watch her eyes fill with tears before she says, "No, no, I swear, I just fell down the stairs the other day."

I hang my head for a moment before return my eyes to her gaze. I gently grab her wrist and pull up the sleeve of her hoodie. "Then why are there finger print bruises in your wrist?" I ask, trying to get an honest answer from her this time.

"No, no, you don't understand, Blake is great to me, he just gets upset sometimes," she says with an unsteady voice as tears begin to roll down her face.

"Evelyn, your boyfriend should never hit you, and there is no excuse for it," I say softly but firmly. But instead of answering me, she just rips her wrist from my hand and runs out the door.

I get up to follow her, not realizing that I was crying too, but she was gone by the time I got to the front door. I can't believe I fucked it up this badly, I think as I wipe my tears.

—

yeah so yeah 😜

[winchesterwild78]

Unexpected Hunter Pt 6

Unexpected Hunter Master List

Chapter Warnings: All the fluff. Dean’s gonna be a daddy, anxiety-brief, pregnancy, soft smut-not my usual 😆

A/N: Time jump chapter and this is a tooth rotting fluffy chapter. 😁💜 This has brief soft smut, but this chapter was more about you, Dean and the pregnancy. I edited this fast so please overlook any mistakes

All work is my own, don’t take it

18+ Minors DNI

*********************************************

Time jump 6 months

You stood at the mirror holding your swollen pregnant belly and rubbed it. “You’ve got to stop kicking me in the bladder and the rib. I can’t breathe and I have to constantly pee” you said with a laugh. When you laughed your shirt moved from the little foot that kicked you. You smiled rubbing your belly. Here you were 6 months after the vampire attack and your belly was growing bigger every day. Your doctor kept constant eye on the possible side effects from the drug but so far everything was going well and the pregnancy was healthy. The only thing that almost made Dean faint was at your doctor’s appointment around the 2 months mark.

*Flashback*

“Okay Miss Y/L/N, can you hop up here and we’ll have a look at the baby. Just a routine ultrasound to check the heart rate and baby development.” Dr. Johnson said as she and Dean helped you on the table. You laid back and she lifted your shirt. “Huh I see you’re already getting a little bump. Is this your first” she asked. “Yes, is everything okay” you asked nervously. “Oh yeah, some women just show earlier than others” she said with a reassuring smile. Dean noticed you were nervous so he kissed your forehead and said “I’m right here baby, it’s going to be okay”. You smiled and nodded.

“Okay, let’s see this baby. This is gonna be a little warm and the ultrasound will not hurt the baby.” The doctor puts the gel on your abdomen and grabs the ultrasound wand and puts it on your stomach. She moves it around and you start to hear a swooshing sound. You smile and Dean looks confused. “That’s the heartbeat dad” she said looking at Dean. You looked at him and his eyes were glued to the screen with tears in them. You looked at the screen and then at the doctor. “Um Dr Johnson, what’s that” you said looking a little concerned and pointed to the screen. “Um, can you turn on your left side for me” she said. You turned and she started smiling. “Congratulations mom and dad, it’s twins.” “What, you mean we’re having 2 babies” Dean said as he turned a little pale. “Yep, I see two babies and I hear two heartbeats. Two very strong heartbeats” she said. You looked at the screen and smiled. Dean took your hand. “You okay Dean” you asked him. “Um yeah, I think I need to sit down” he said backing into the chair. You and the dr laughed. “We get that reaction all the time with multiples. Imagine if there were three.” She said laughing.

“Okay mom, get cleaned up and I’ll print the pictures for you” the dr said as she left the room. Dean sat in the chair for another minute mumbling something about twins. “Um, Dean. Are you going to be okay.” You asked nervously. He stood up walked over to you and cupped your face crashing his lips to yours. “I’m perfect baby. We’re having twins and they seem perfectly healthy. Thank you for making me a dad” he said smiling. “I love you Dean” you said as you smiled at him. “I love you too, y/n” he said as he helped you up. The doctor came back in and handed you the ultrasound pictures and Dean couldn’t take his eyes off of them.

*End of flashback*

You stood at the mirror a few minutes longer then sat down at the table in the hotel room. You had research to do while the boys went to the police station. When you found out you were pregnant Dean didn’t want you hunting, but you were able to compromise. You do research in the hotel and they do the dirty work. That way Dean gets to be with you every step of the pregnancy and you don’t have to be alone.

The boys think they’re hunting a Wendigo so you need to check the lore for some stuff. This one isn’t like a normal one but the guys are convinced it is. You hear your stomach grumble and you realize you’re starving. The guys were going to bring lunch back with them but the babies were hungry now. You walked to the fridge and grabbed Sam’s big juicy apple and Dean’s chocolate pie. Then you saw the chips. As soon as you grabbed the chips Lexi was at your side.

You sat on the bed with the chips, apple and pie. You tossed a chip to Lexi and she sat begging for more. “Sorry girl, your siblings are hungry so you can’t have anymore” you said with a chuckle. You ate the apple and was starting to dig into the pie and chips when you heard the impala. You grinned because you knew Dean would see the pie right away.

Lexi was on her feet to greet the boys. The door opened and Dean came in carrying some takeout containers. The smell hit your nose. “Mmm. Chinese food” you said smiling. Dean looked at you and chuckled as he saw the feast in your lap. “Couldn’t wait for us to get back baby” he asked as he kissed you. “Nope, they were hungry” you said pointing to your belly. He chuckled as he brought you some food. “Um, y/n did you eat all the chocolate pie” Dean asked. You smirked and he said “of course you did.” He laughed. “Um, I also ate Sammy’s apple.” You said looking at Sam. “Sorry, they really wanted it” you said. “It’s okay. They need it more than me” Sam said with a smile.

You all ate your food and you started to get sleepy. You stretched and laid your head down. Dean came over and kissed you covering you with a blanket. He placed his hand on your belly and felt his babies kick. A soft smile formed on his face. Sam sat at the table and watched his brother. He smiled because he knew what you and the twins meant to him. Dean was more like a dad to Sam growing up and he knew Dean was going to be an amazing father to the twins.

You drifted off to sleep as Sam and Dean looked over your research. “So Dean, when do y’all find out what you’re having? I want to know if I’m gonna have a niece or nephew or both.” He said smiling. “I think at our next appointment. We’re not going to wait and we’re not doing one of those silly gender reveal parties” he said still rubbing your belly. “Sammy, how did I get so lucky to have an incredible woman in my life who is having my babies.” He asked with tears in his eyes. “Dean, you deserve this and so much more. You’re an amazing person who has literally saved the world more times than I can count. You always put others before you and you protect those you love.” Sam said putting a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Thanks little brother. That means a lot to me.” Dean said while still at your side. “Even if she can’t fight by our side right now she’s one hell of a hunter. Dean, I’ve never seen research this incredible and thorough. She’s got every possible location mapped out with entry and exit points, a list of what might link the victims together.” Sam said looking over the research you left. Dean smiled and looked over at you. “Yeah, she’s kinda incredible. She’s an amazing hunter, an even better girlfriend and she’s going to make one hell of a mother. I love her Sammy. I want to marry her.” Dean said looking at Sam.

“Wow Dean, that’s incredible. Are you going to ask her soon or wait until after the babies are born” Sam asked while looking up from the file in his hand. “Her birthday is in a month, I think I’m going to ask her then. I don’t know. I’ve been carrying this around for a few months.” Dean said as he pulled out a small velvet box with a beautiful diamond in it. “Dean, was that mom’s” Sam asked. Dean shook his head yes. The last time Mary was alive she gave it to Dean. She was confident he would meet someone one day, and she was right. He loved you so much and not just because of the babies. He’s loved you since the first moment he laid eyes on you in the hospital.

A few days later you were back home. The hunt went good. Your research was helpful and the boys killed the Wendigo without too much trouble. Today you and Dean were going to see Dr Johnson for a check up and hopefully find out what the babies were. Dean was up early and was in the kitchen making breakfast. You slowly rolled out of bed and went to take a shower. You dropped the loofah and you couldn’t bend over to get it. So you did the only thing you could think of, you cried. Dean came in to check on you and heard you crying. He ran to the shower and opened the curtain. “Sweetheart are you okay, are the babies okay” he asked as panic rose in his voice. You were sobbing and finally got out that you dropped the loofah and couldn’t get it. Dean smiled and started to chuckle. He picked it up and handed it to you. He dried your tears and leaned against the sink.

When you got out he was still there smiling. You rolled your eyes. “Don’t make fun of me. I was sad” you said pouting. “Okay baby, I’m sorry.” Dean said with a smirk. “These pregnancy hormones are going to drive me bonkers” you said. He wrapped his arms around you and gave you a kiss. You finished getting ready and Dean helped you to the car. He drove the two of you to the doctor’s office and when you arrived he helped you out of the car.

Once you checked in it didn’t take long to call you back. You were nervous and excited. You didn’t care what the outcome was as long as the babies were healthy. You knew Dean wanted one of each. A boy to carry on his name and a girl he could spoil like a princess. When you were called he helped you up and walked hand in hand with you. He helped you change and climb up on the table. This was proving more difficult the bigger your belly got. Dr Johnson walked in and smiled. “How are you feeling y/n?” She asked. “I’m tired and sore, but overall I’m feeling good.” You said. Dean rubbed your hand as the doctor measured your belly and felt the babies. “You’re measuring good and the babies seem to be active. Are you getting enough rest” she asked as she got the ultrasound machine ready. “Yeah. I feel like I sleep all the time.” You said chuckling. Dr Johnson smiled and said “well, sleep and rest is good. You are growing two humans. That takes a lot of energy” “and chocolate pie” Dean said with a chuckle. You rolled your eyes and laughed. Dr Johnson smiled. “I took his chocolate pie and he’s still bitter” you said laughing.

Dr Johnson laughed and said “poor dad. Maybe you should buy two next time. Okay, let’s take a look at these little ones.” She put the gel on your belly and you looked over at the screen. Dean’s eyes were drifting between you and the screen. He was so excited and tears pricked your eyes. You squeezed his hand and he kissed your forehead. “Okay, looks like both babies are measuring great and their heartbeats are very strong.” Dr Johnson said moving the ultrasound wand around. “Alright, are we going to find out what we’re having” she asked. You and Dean both smiled and said yes at the same time. “Okay twin A is a boy, and twin b is a girl” she said smiling. Dean was beaming. Tears streamed down your face and tears slipped down his face too. “I’ll give you two a minute and go grab the pictures for you. Take as much time as you’d like. I’ll meet you out front when you’re ready” Dr Johnson said as she squeezed your hand.

Dean helped clean your belly and helped you get dressed. As soon as you were ready his lips crashed on yours. You smiled into his lips. He whispered into your lips “we’re having a boy and a girl. I can’t believe it.” You kissed him again and tears fell again. You were so happy and overcome with emotion. “Let’s go get our pictures and go home” Dean said taking your hand. You two walked out, thanked Dr Johnson and headed home.

When you got back to the bunker you and Dean looked for Sam. “Sammy! Where are you” Dean shouted excitedly through the bunker. Sam came out of his room and was smiling. “Well, what are you having” he asked. Dean was beaming and showed him the ultrasound pictures. “This is Twin A and this is Twin B” he said pointing. “Twin A is a boy and Twin B is a girl” Dean said with a grin on his face. Sam pulled him in for a hug and slapped his back. He pulled you in gently and kissed your head. “Congratulations guys. I’m so happy for you. I can’t wait to spoil them.” He said. “We can’t either” you said placing a hand on your belly.

You went to your room and laid down on the bed. Dean came in and laid beside you placing his hand on your belly. “I can’t believe we’re having a boy and a girl.” You said softly. “Dean I’m so excited and terrified at the same time.” You said looking at him. “Me too, sweetheart. But, we’ve got each other and we can do this. We have so many people in our lives that love us and will be there for our babies.” He said brushing your hair out of your face.

Dean kissed you softly on the lips and his calloused hands ran over your body. He deepened the kiss and heat ran through your body. You moaned into his kiss. “Dean, I need you” you moaned into his mouth. “I need you too sweetheart” he said. Dean played with the hem of your shirt and slid his hand under it. He stopped at your belly and rubbed it again smiling. His hands continued up and he unhooked your bra. You tried to lean up and chuckled because it was hard to do without help. Dean helped you up and lifted off your shirt and bra exposing your ever growing breasts. “Damn baby, you’re so beautiful” Dean said and you blushed.

“Make love to me Dean. I need you” you said breathlessly. Dean helped you remove your clothes and he removed his. You laid back and he made sure you were comfortable before he started. Dean was so gentle and made love to you. It wasn’t rushed and it wasn’t about getting off. Even though you both did several times. It was about pure love and connection.

After you were done and clean, Dean helped you get dressed and you laid down. You laid on your side and Dean laid behind you with his arms around you. “I love you Dean Winchester.” You said softly. “I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N, and I love you two my little Winchester babies.” Dean said kissing your head softly. The excitement of the day and the love making left you blissfully happy and exhausted. You drifted off to sleep holding Dean’s arms and feeling your babies move inside you.

Part 7

Forever tags: @nescaveckdaily @nescaveckwriter @kr804573 @jensengirl83 @k-slla @jackles010378 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

[ash5monster01]

Can we get a TASM peter x Fem reader smut where maybe reader had a unspecified traumatic experience or just bad experience with smexy times so is very nervous and scared but admit about being with peter physically so Peter makes it his mission to make her feel so good she forgets she is scared cuz her brain is all foggy 😖(lots of fluff, lots of praise and lots of checking in and making sure she is ok)

Baby Steps

Pairing: Tasm Peter Parker x FemReader

Warnings: smut, 18+, dirty talk, praise, mentions of sexual trauma.

Summary: In fear of you connecting Peter to the bad things you had already experienced sexually you grow the nerve to tell him so he understands your hesitation when it comes to intimacy. When you both decide baby steps are the right move until you are comfortable you both get a little carried away lost in the feeling and need for each other. (I don’t normally write smut so I apologize in advance if at any point the writing doesn’t flow, it sounds awkward, or it’s not good in general)

word count: 2246

Masterlist

Peter had been more than patient. You had to remind yourself of that as you cuddled with the boy in his bed. You had been together six months now and he had yet to get intimate with you. The closest you had gotten was some over the clothes touching but you could tell he craved more, that he needed more. The only issue was you were absolutely terrified. You were afraid that the moment things started you’d get flashbacks from all the terrible things you had connected to the act of intimacy. The idea of Peter, your safe haven, being put in a position that connected him to all the bad things that had happened to you was scary. How could the best thing in your life coexist with the worst thing just because of one moment? A shared moment that despite everything you wanted to give to Peter. He had waited, been kind, and still doesn’t bother you over it. Yet you knew it saddened him because in a way it felt like you didn’t really trust him.

“Peter?” you brushed your hand along his face, legs tangled with his own. His eyes slowly fluttered open to look at you and your stomach immediately tightened. You wanted this too, but we’re just afraid of how you would react.

“Yes, baby” his voice was raspy since you both had been enjoying each other’s presence, not needing conversation to fill the moment.

“Does it bother you that we haven’t slept together?” the boy tensed from the question and you felt it because you were both pressed against each other and it made your stomach drop.

“I wouldn’t say bother. I will wait for however long until you are ready but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to. It would be nice to show you how much you mean to me and move our relationship to the next level” he told you, your nerves immediately easing. You felt the guilt though. He wanted to show you how much he loved you and yet you wouldn’t allow it.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to either, but being intimate is a scary thing for me. I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me Peter and when I’m with you I don’t want to be reminded of that. I want it to be about you and me and not the ghosts of my past” Peter did not know this information and his heart broke at the fact someone had hurt you. Hurt you enough that something that should be pleasureful in life absolutely terrified you.

“Oh baby” he quickly pulled you into him, squeezing you as close as he could because you didn’t deserve anything that had happened to you.

“It’s okay, I’m okay now” but Peter shook his head as you pulled back from him to look him in his eyes once more.

“It’s not okay, what happened to you will never be okay. But we can take baby steps, if that’s what you need to be more comfortable with me” he told you and the gears started to turn in your head.

“So we can take it step by step, and I can tell you to stop whenever I’m uncomfortable” Peter nodded and offered you a smile because he loved you for you. “Okay then, let’s go”

“What?” Peters eyes widened as you sat slightly up and pulled your shirt off leaving you in just a bra which revealed more skin than he’s ever seen on you.

“I want to be with you Peter, and if we don’t start now I’ll never work up the nerve to do it again” you told him and he visibly gulped as he looked at the black lace that covered the hills of your breasts. He had felt them but never really felt them. It was much different when you touched someone through a shirt and over the bra.

“Okay, just let me know when to stop” and with a swift movement he was up and hovering over you. Your heart rate began to speed up as he took control because that’s what he needed to do in this situation. Slowly he leaned down and captured your lips in his own and you immediately calmed at the feeling. Peter kissing you was something you loved.

“Is this okay?” he mumbled against your lips as his arm reached around and grabbed the clasp on your bra. You nodded not even caring that the guy you loved was about to see you naked for the first time because you didn’t want him to stop kissing you. He didn’t need any more confirmation as he snapped the clasp open with one hand and moved to remove it from your body.

“Peter, can you take your shirt off too?” you asked, not wanting to be more naked then him. He smiled as he sat up above you and stripped his shirt in a quick movement. Once it was off he looked down at you, your bra barely on. You could see the adoration in his eyes as he slipped it off your arms and revealed all of you for him to see.

“Baby you are so beautiful, can I touch you?” you nodded eagerly, surprised by the feeling he gave you just from looking at you. Your eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of his fingers brushing across your skin and cupping you.

“Baby you’re perfect” Peter was getting turned on as he massaged your breast, the feeling of them so perfect and exactly what he had imagined. The slight moan you let out as you lifted your chest up made him eager and he reminded himself to slow down. Slowly he leaned back down to kiss you and you quickly put your hands in his hair, enjoying the feeling of his hand on your bare skin.

“Tell me if this is too much” Peter kissed each word into your skin as his head made its way down your neck and to your chest. Your hands remained in his hair when suddenly his lips met one of your nipples. You gasped as he opened his mouth and took a full taste, his tongue swirling around. Your stomach tightened at the feeling.

“Oh God, Peter. That feels so good” you told him, wanting him to know you enjoyed it instead of the opposite. His hand made sure to take care of your other nipple, both breasts getting the attention they needed. Once you confirmed you enjoyed it he switched back and forth between each breast, trying to decide which one was his favorite. That’s when you felt it. His arousal was hard against your hips as he slowly grinded into you, his attention still on your boobs. The feeling was overwhelming and you moaned at the thought of him continuing to grind on you.

“Peter take off your pants” he froze as you spoke, surprised you had suggested it. Your arousal matched his own, the wetness soaking your underwear, and the idea of him being turned on for you felt good.

“Are you sure?” you nodded and he hopped off the bed, the outline of his dick pressed against the grey fabric of his sweats. You heart doubled in beats as he slipped them off. Slowly you shimmied out of your own, Peter freezing as he saw you had on a matching black thong. He never knew you were a thong girl.

“Baby, are you sure? I don’t want you to feel like you’re forcing yourself through it” Peter moved forward, not wanting you to push yourself to a point of no return. You frantically shook your head, almost embarrassed.

“No, I just wanted to feel you better. Everything feels so good” your wetness grew at the thought of him coming back onto the bed and he grinded you through only the thin piece of panties.

“Oh” the blush on his cheeks was evident and he felt himself twitch in his pants. He quickly moved over to the bed, jumping above you and nuzzling his hips between your legs, you more open for him.

“Holy shit” you gasped, gripping his shoulders and your stomach doubled over from the feeling of him so hard against you. His face fell to your chest, nuzzling himself between your breasts as he moved himself against you, back and forth. He was so hot for you he was gonna explode.

“I’m gonna take my boxers off. I figure you’d be more comfortable if I was naked first” you gasped at the thought but nodded none the less. Peter pushed himself up on his knees, a wet spot in his boxers from the pre-cum. He pushed them down and you watched, not breathing, as he showed himself to you. He was bigger than you had imagined, and bigger than he felt so far. You lifted your hips quickly in anticipation as he fully removed his boxers.

The minute he settled back in between your legs, only your thong separating you now, your only thought was Peter, and how good he made you felt. He kissed you, his tongue darting into your mouth as he bucked against you, him becoming painfully hard. “Do more, please”

“You sure?” you nodded, needing some sort of release from how worked up you were. He smiled and moved his hand down were it toyed with them hem of your panties.

“Please just touch me” you gasped, trying to move your hips into his hand. He smiled as he began to kiss your neck and his hands slid in your panties, fully feeling you now. His fingers slid through your folds, massaging you softly, and once you started moving your hips with the feel of his fingers he became confident enough as he slipped his middle finger into you.

“Fuck” you scratched at his shoulders, back arching as he moved his finger painfully slow inside of you. You couldn’t form a thought as he picked up the pace.

“Peter, this feels so good. You’re so hot” you whined and he felt himself lose control as he used his other hands to rip you panties loose. He removed himself from your neck where he had left a large purple mark to match the ones on your chest. Suddenly he was kissing down your stomach and onto your thighs. You couldn’t speak when you tried to tell him to stop teasing, Suddenly he slipped a second finger into you the minute his mouth pressed against your heat and licked a long stripe up it. You felt yourself clench on his fingers which made him groan into you, the hum turning you on even more. His fingers and mouth started to move faster, wanting to bring you to release. Once you started to get close you found your words.

“Get inside of me Peter, please. Fuck please let me cum on your cock” he had never heard you talk so dirty and his dick started to hurt from how hard he was.

“Okay baby” he removed his hand from you, the taste of you still in his mouth as he moved to slip a condom on. Quickly he lined himself up as he looked down at you, breathing heavy and waiting for him to just get inside of you already.

“Ready?” you nodded and grabbed his dick. His head fell back as you pushed his tip in between your folds, running them through as you prepared him to slip inside of you. Once you lined him back up Peter lowered himself into you, slowly until he was nuzzled hip to hip.

“Please move” you pulled him closer, gripping his back and he obeyed. He started to sway in and out of you and you dragged your nails down his back, clenching around him. He groaned as he felt you and continued to move into you. You both basked in the feeling as you continued to fuck each other. You couldn’t believe you had gone six months keeping yourself from feeling this good.

“Baby I’m close” he told you, not wanting to finish before you. He continued to hit all the right spots and you lifted your hips, him hitting you directly on the g-spot.

“Me too, I’m about to cum” you panted and he continued his movements when suddenly your knees tightened around his sides and you began to pulse around him. The feeling brought him to his finish as well, the both of you riding out your highs on each other. He put his body weight on top of you, leaving himself nuzzled inside as you both relaxed against each other and the bed.

“I didn’t expect us to go that far” he said and you chuckled, realizing that you hadn’t even remembered you were trying to take baby steps.

“Me either, but at least now I know you make me feel good and nothing else matters” you told him as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I’m glad baby” he told you, pressing a kiss in between your chest.

“Round two?” you asked and he widened his eyes as you slipped yourself off of him, his dick jumping from the movement.

“Already?” he asked and you nodded as you began to stroke him.

“Yeah, it’s my turn to please you” you said as you lowered onto your knees and he groaned loudly at the sight of you.

“Fuck okay”

[roomsofangel]

CHAPTER NINE

even the stars can be hollow .ᐟ

wc 1.4k

if you’d like to be added to the taglist please either send an ask in my inbox or leave a comment to be added to the taglist! reblogs and comments are also very appreciated! ^_^

chapter warnings acts of violence. mingi is playing darts with organs as the target. overall, a more heavier chapter

a/n this chapter starts with seonghwa’s pov and a flashback with him and san! but more exposed lore? 👀

things like him will never have a happy ending.

seonghwa always replayed those words, they echoed in his head for all of his immortal life — the damage being ripped open by the very person who sought after you for the same amount of centuries

choi san.

seonghwa humors at times about it, when he isn’t grieving the amount of times he lost you. the moment he and san shared, still achingly vivid.

“they’re mine, san. their love for you is witchcraft.” seonghwa spat, holding the other who held the same animosity in his gaze, by the throat, fist wrapped and clenching around his windpipe, “let them go.”

san let out a half restricted laugh, “oh seonghwa,” he bitterly replied, finding the opportunity to knee the other in the stomach.

seonghwa groaned, hand going towards the impact that made him wince for a moment before he found himself being shoved onto his knees by a human. how pathetic in his eyes.

“you’re death himself, they were never going to stay with you, seonghwa,” san followed along with venom in each word, amused at how the god of death was kneeling, head tilted back by a human’s hand using harsh force

seonghwa’s adam’s apple bobbed while he swallowed down his words, biting down on his tongue as he listened to the words san spewed. sure, it must be divine for a human to have a being like him in this scenario so effortlessly

he coughed up the metallic from both the impact and from the way his teeth sunk down into his flesh, the weak state of his body only fueling san to hit seonghwa right where they both knew would hurt more than any physical wound,

“things like you, seonghwa,” san bitterly laughed, “never get happy endings.”

seonghwa stared out the window, it seemed cliche to him but the rain hitting the glass soothed him. he waited for you to get out the shower, hoping to share more of his side. it was something he desperately wanted to give, but he wasn’t a hero in this story of yours. he could be the villain. it all depended on how you saw everything.

it all came down to if you still were going to look at him with those eyes if you knew how many lives it took just to get it right this time because san was always good at conning — the best poker face there was, and seonghwa was just as good at placing bets but even he couldn’t sit and deny that choi san was right, things like him will never have a happy ending.

“it’s pitiful.” yeosang groaned, throwing his head back into the cushions, tilting to look at the company he had in his room who threw a dart that pierced another body organ. the lungs this time.

“ah! bingo!” mingi���s voice erupted, laughing before he turned to meet yeosang’s gaze, replying in a huff and eyeroll

yeosang propped himself up using his elbows, leaning back on them, “were you even listening?” he deadpanned, “or were you too busy doing your makeshift war?”

mingi nodded his head, “too busy,” he shrugged before aiming the last dart towards the now pierced heart that used to belong to one of the other deities — taehyung was nice. it was a bummer that he now was added to the collection of disobedience.

climbing into bed, mingi laid on his back while he stared at the ceiling, “i’m listening now, your majesty,” he teased

yeosang scoffed, “it’s pitiful how y/n is so persistent on getting answers,” he shook his head, “you know seonghwa won’t do shit and i’m just trying to help the poor bambi.”

mingi hummed in response.

“or are you trying to clean your guilty conscience after what happened that night?” mingi voiced

the bed dipped down, yeosang leaning to grab the cup of tea he had on his nightstand, chucking it at the wall and watching it shatter into pieces

“i’m taking that as a maybe.” mingi humored

and yeosang didn’t reply after, only thinking about how he could tell you no one is who they truly say they are.

looking down at your half eaten croissant, stomach grumbling but not being able to handle more than just a bite while you leaned on your hand for support, chin resting on your palm while your mind wandered, things were oddly calm during this moment

during your shower, the water soaking your hair as you stood underneath it — the steam clouding the room, all you had in your mind was questions that all pointed back to the root of what you deemed to be the problem. park seonghwa.

the more you looked into his eyes, the more the ache you had in your chest tightened and worsened. maybe it was all in your head. you wanted to convince yourself.

glancing at the ring that condemned you to the madness on loop again, a soft scoff escaped your lips. what a twisted fate.

nose twitching, you heard the door open and shut before faint footsteps turned louder and closer, seonghwa standing in the doorway with a frown, “you okay?” he asked, starting the conversation which made him shake his head in disbelief to his own attempt

you couldn’t help but laugh a little, nodding your head and using your hand to wave him off slightly, “don’t worry about it, i’m fine.”

seonghwa shifted his body, trying to test the waters first it seemed when he took a step closer. you didn’t react, which he took as a sign that it was okay to take a seat next to you, “you do realize i know when you’re lying, correct?”

sighing, you nodded, “sadly.”

seonghwa hummed, “you must be tired, your thoughts are loud.”

resting your head on his shoulder, seonghwa let out a gentle gasp from the sudden action he didn’t expect, body tensing at first before he relaxed, “what does me being tired have to do with that?” you quietly asked

seonghwa rested his hand on your thigh, caressing as if you were made of glass and he was afraid his touch would cause you to break, “blocking out your emotions and thoughts from deities can be exhausting,” he humored, “i know you’ve been doing that, y/n, and its okay.”

“have you been trying to read my mind?” you questioned, curious rather than upset and seonghwa took note of that

shaking his head in response, seonghwa watched as your fingers messed with his, the metal of your matching rings brushing against each other, he needed to hurry up. he didn’t have much time. he couldn’t lose you again—

“hwa?” your voice broke his thoughts and he blinked himself back into reality

“yeah?” he cleared his throat, saddened by the frown on your face

“you zoned out when i asked my question,” you tried to come off light hearted, but your mind was racing the more seonghwa stayed silent and his own head ached from the sound

kissing your temple, seonghwa replied with a gentle tone, “i trust that you will be honest with me and i don’t need to read your every thought.”

your face scowled unconsciously, the urge to call him a hypocrite due to his own dishonesty far too strong, yet you refrained. for now.

in the position you and seonghwa were in, you wouldn’t have minded it. if the two of you didn’t have your past lives, if seonghwa wasn’t the literal god of death, if he was just honest and told you everything — you would’ve saw this as something you wanted forever.

you flinched at your own hesitation and second guessing, feeling something unrecognizable in your chest.

lifting your head, seonghwa calling your name suddenly became muffled and white noise while you gasped for air into heaving lungs

the picture you swore you saw in your eyes flashing for a mere second when you lifted you head, made you tremble, gripping onto seonghwa’s shirt who had concern overwhelming his face

“y/n!” his hands cupping your face as you locked eyes with him, coming back to your senses and you tried not to jump back and shove him away, “are you okay?”

you wanted to scream at him, but no noise came out, mouth agape as you tasted the salty tears you weren’t aware were streaming down your cheeks while he brought you into an embrace for you to sob. because what you saw you couldn’t explain. you don’t think you want an explanation either. not yet.

what would be the reason you saw seonghwa holding your lifeless body with his hands covered in the crime?

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[marvelfanfn2187a113]

It’s Sick!

Sherlock x teen sister reader, Mycroft x teen sister reader

Synopsis: reader gets sick and Sherlock and Mycroft don’t know what to do about it.

Warnings: sickness? Idk none really

“It’s sick.”

“What?”

“It’s sick and I don’t know what to do with it.”

Mycroft ran a hand over his face and sighed loudly into his cell phone. “Sherlock I’m a very busy man, I don’t have time for you to call me in the middle of the day with vague messages. What are you talking about?”

“Y/N, Mycroft! Y/N is sick and I don’t know what to do with it!”

“It? Brother mine, our dear sister is not an ‘it’.”

“She is when she’s sick and I have to deal with it!”

“Oh Sherlock, do calm down, this isn’t the end of the world. Have you phoned a doctor?”

“A doctor? No, Mycroft she doesn’t need a doctor.”

Mycroft frowned. “Then what exactly does she need?”

“How am I supposed to know?! But she insists she doesn’t need medical attention.”

“I see. Why exactly have you called me?”

“I can’t get her fever to break, John is absent on some sort of holiday with Mary, and Y/N keeps drifting in and out of sleep so she’s no help, but she keeps calling for you.”

Mycroft stiffened. “Calling for me?” He wasn’t one to baby his siblings, it was all he could do to just spend time with them sometimes. But if his baby sister was sick and calling out for him…what big brother could possibly ignore that?

Mycroft hung up the phone without waiting for another word from Sherlock, then pulled on his coat, snatched his umbrella from the stand, and headed outside to hail a cab.

…

Sherlock was not a worrier. Sherlock was not a nursemaid. Sherlock was not one to dwell too long on other’s problems, unless it made for an interesting case for him.

Today, however, all of those traits of his went out the window.

In the few moments that he had been able to speak with John on the phone, the doctor had assured him that Y/N did not need a hospital, at least not in his opinion. As long as you got plenty of rest and water, the fever would break on its own sooner or later.

That hadn’t made the past few hours any easier for Sherlock.

You looked so tired and pale, drifting in and out of sleep, only speaking enough to ensure Sherlock that you were alright, or occasionally ask for water. You had tried a few snacks, but nothing would stay down. Sherlock could tell you were in pain, though you tried to hide it.

You couldn’t hide it when you were asleep. The moment your eyes shut, the whimpering started. It got worse as time went on, and you would thrash around in her bed, soft sounds of pain escaping you. Eventually you started to call out, first for Sherlock, for you knew he was near, then for Mycroft. Sherlock couldn’t tell if you were asking Sherlock to find Mycroft, or if you were becoming delirious enough that you actually thought your oldest brother was nearby.

Either way it worried him, and he was getting ready to ignore John’s suggestion and call for an ambulance regardless.

He was just about to pick up his cell phone when the front door of 221B burst open, and there was Mycroft, looking uncharacteristically disheveled.

“Where-“

“Upstairs in her room.”

Mycroft brushed past Sherlock without another word, and headed up the stairs to your room with Sherlock on his heels.

…

“Mycroft?”

The gentle cry reached the eldest Holmes’ ears as he quietly opened to door to his sister’s room.

Upon seeing his Y/N, Mycroft’s heart sank. His little sister was white as a sheet, your body shivering, fingers clutching your comforter.

Mycroft wasted no time in coming to your side. “Hello, dearest,” he greeted with a forced smile. “It’s me, it’s Mycroft. I’m here.”

Your eyes opened wearily, and your lips curled upward as your eyes lit up with a spark of joy. “Mycroft.”

“How are you feeling?”

You winced. “My stomach hurts.”

Mycroft was hit with a sudden, violent flashback.

You were six years old, maybe even five. Mycroft had been visiting home the same time that a carnival happened to be in town, and your parents insisted that Mycroft take you. With much reluctance, he had.

You had had a blast, dragging Mycroft around on as many rides as you could, and making him buy you ice cream and funnel cakes and cotton candy.

Unfortunately, he had bought you one too many sweets, and that night you regretted it dearly.

“How are you feeling?” Mycroft had asked you after laying you down in his bed. You were up hours past bed time due to a stomach ache, and the occasional throwing up. Mycroft didn’t complain once, simply held your hair back when you needed it.

“My stomach hurts,” you whimpered.

Mycroft grimaced slightly, and began to stroke your hair. “It’s alright Princess, I know. You’re gonna be alright.”

End of flashback.

Mycroft hesitated. After all, you weren’t six anymore. But the look in your eyes, the complete faith in them that said you were certain that your big brother was here to fix everything, reassured Mycroft that things hadn’t changed so much.

So he reached out, and began to gently stroke your hair. “I know, Princess, I know. It’s going to be alright. I’m here.”

Sherlock appeared at the doorway, “What do you think?”

Mycroft sighed and stood to face Sherlock, “I think you’re incredibly over dramatic. She’s fine, probably just some 24 hour bug. Have you tried to feed her?”

Sherlock scowled, “Of course. Nothing stays down.”

Mycroft bit back a grimace and nodded. “Try and make some hot broth, she needs to get something to stay in her system.”

Sherlock hesitated. He didn’t like taking orders from Mycroft, and in any other situation he wouldn’t. But it was a good idea, and with you laying on your bed suffering, he didn’t see that he had much choice. Unless…

“We both know I’m not exactly adept in the kitchen, perhaps you should do it. I’ll stay with her.”

Mycroft glanced at you before sighing, “Very well, brother mine. Do try and keep her alive while I’m gone.” He turned to go, but froze when he felt your fingers wrap around his wrist.

“Mycroft?”

He turned to you, his features softening slightly. “It’s alright, I’ll be just downstairs. Sherlock is going to stay with you. I know it’s not ideal, but we can’t very well trust him not to poison you with his cooking, so you’ll have to make do.”

Sherlock stepped over to his sister’s side, glaring at Mycroft, “Yes, yes, very funny Mycroft. Go on now, I’ve got her.”

Mycroft was relieved to see a wide smile on his sister’s pale face as he turned to leave.

…

“Are you feeling any better?” Sherlock asked hesitantly.

“Not really.”

Sherlock sighed, wishing more than ever that a client would walk through the door and distract him from his ailing sister. Comfort was most certainly not his strong suite.

“Thank you.”

Sherlock looked up, “For what?”

You smiles slightly. “Being here. I know you want to be anywhere else.”

Sherlock didn’t bother contradicting you. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Just being here is enough.”

Sherlock wasn’t sure how his presence helped your pain, but then again he’d never been very good at understanding you. As long as you were happy, he’d sit at your bedside for as long as you needed.

Truth be told, he was glad to hear that you appreciated his presence. Hearing you call out for Mycroft, even if it was in sleep, had made him feel completely useless: not a feeling he was used to.

“Then I’ll be here as long as you need me.”

He wasn’t sure if you’d heard him, as your eyes were drooping shut and your breathing began to slow, but it didn’t matter. You already knew that he’d be there, no matter what.

…

Mycroft walked in with a steaming bowl of broth just in time to see you slowly sit up. You were rubbing your eyes, indicating that you’d just woken up.

“Would you like to try to eat?” Mycroft asked, holding out the bowl to you. You hesitantly took it, then accepted the spoon he offered you.

“Nothing else worked so far.”

“Well that’s because Sherlock made it.”

…

A bowl of soup and an hour or two later, a bit of the color had returned to your cheeks, and Mycroft carried you downstairs—Sherlock was so surprised that he instantly pulled out his phone and snapped several pictures—where he turned the tv on for you and turned on a Disney movie, which was probably the biggest surprise of the day. The Holmes’ brothers hated Disney movies—honestly they rarely watched movies in general—so when Mycroft put one on you actually began to worry.

“I’m not dying, am I?” You quipped as the opening credits to The Little Mermaid played. Both brothers turned to you.

“Why would you say that?” Sherlock asked.

“Mycroft carried me down the stairs, and we’re watching a Disney movie. All in all, the evidence isn’t adding up well for me.”

Mycroft shrugged, a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Well, I can turn it off-“ he reached forwards to grab the remote, but you beat him to it, reaching forward and snatching it off the table. However, the sudden movement caused your unsettled stomach to lurch, and it was all you could do to hold onto your meager lunch. Your head began to spin, and you collapsed out of the sofa and onto the floor.

Sherlock was at your side in an instant, lifting you back onto the couch and pushing your head back so that you were lying down.

Mycroft hid his momentarily worried expression with an eye roll and a shake of his head at his sister. “Really dearest sister, you should be more careful.”

You smiled sheepishly, “Don’t threaten to turn off my movie and I will.”

“Ah yes, heaven forbid you be denied the joy of watching the little mermaid for the 27th time, how cruel of me.”

You laughed sleepily, your eyes yet again beginning to close due to exhaustion.

“Don’t you know? The 27th time is…is the…” you dozed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

…

Mycroft chuckled as his little sister drifted off to sleep, “She’s going to be just fine soon enough.”

Sherlock nodded in agreement, his eyes fixed on your pale face, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like that.”

Mycroft thought back, “Me neither. I have seen you like that before.”

Sherlock looked up, “Me?”

“Ah yes, dear brother. You were insufferable. You had a fairly high fever, but the noises you made, one might’ve thought you were dying.” Mycroft laughed at Sherlock’s indignant expression, “And you made us all watch Pirates of the Caribbean about a thousand times.”

“Mycroft…” your voice drifted sleepily to the two men.

Sherlock frowned, “She’s been doing that a lot in her sleep.”

Mycroft stood from his chair and went immediately to his sister’s side, “Well at least she knows who the better one to call is.”

Just then you called out Sherlock’s name, causing the younger Holmes’ brother to smirk, “You were saying, Mycroft.”

And that’s how you awoke to find your head rested in Mycroft’s lap, and your feet in Sherlock’s.

It took them several minutes to assure you that you were not dying.

[meganwiththeknees]

Distant

Chapter 10

Summary:

Final flashback!

-FLASHBACK CONTINUATION-

Suddenly you wake up with what feels to be like a heavy object being moved off of you. You open your eyes and look straight up into the sky, only to notice ash raining from the sky. The next thing you register is a blob of green looking right over you. It takes you a second to realize that the so-called 'blob' is Midoriya, and his lips are moving.

“-Can you hear me? Do you think you can walk?”

You sit up while holding your head.

“Hey, take it easy- don’t try to get up so fast. Do you think you’ll be able to walk, or do I need to carry you?”

“Ah, my head really hurts, but I think I can walk,” You grunt out as you grab hold of Midoriya’s hand, and you stumble a little as you stand.

As you stand, you begin to take in your surroundings, and the place looks a mess. There’s rubble everywhere- lots of smoke and ash to top it off. The two of you begin to walk, and you have to step over a tremendous amount of wire, broken poles, and glass.

“Your stomach's bleeding!” You reach down to Midoriya’s abdomen to put pressure on the spot where blood seems to be collecting.

“No, it’s okay. I already checked it- there’s a cut, but it’s not very deep,” Midoriya reassures you.

The two of you continue to walk over to the first-aid area, but you don’t feel right after a minute. It’s almost like you forgot something, and your head starts to hurt as you try to recall what it is.

“Hey, I think I need to take a seat real quick before we keep moving,” You hold your head as you start to feel light-headed.

“Okay, you can sit right here,” Midoriya turns and pushes some rocks out the way for you to take a seat. As he turns back around to you, he sees you fumble and almost hit the ground before he catches you.

The last thing you hear is the sound of your name being called out before everything goes dark.

-

You open your eyes, for the second time it seems, to a white ceiling with very bright light, along with the sound of beeping. As you regain your senses, you feel something attached to your left arm and something on your finger. You run your fingers over your right arm to what feels like mini tubes attached to your arm and what feels like a mini block on your finger.

It took you a minute until you finally recognized that you were hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor on your finger, hence the beeping you were hearing. You slowly shift to sit up and realize that you’re in the hospital. You look to the right side of your bed when you hear what sounds like light snoring. As you look over you're met with the sight of a sleeping Midoriya. He’s sleeping in a chair right beside the hospital bed while sitting in a rather uncomfortable looking hunched over position. You can see that his mouth is open, causing him to snore, and there is the tiniest bit of drool forming on the side of his mouth.

As you continue to look at Midoriya, you notice something over his eyebrow...but it's slightly covered by the curly bangs on his head. You reach to push the hair out the way to take a closer look. You examine the area on his head and notice that there are about four stitches right above his eyebrow. As you look at his face, you don’t know how you never realized how many freckles lined his face. You couldn't recall how long you sat there and looked at his face until you suddenly felt self-conscious for staring so long when his eye opened slowly.

“Oh- I didn’t mean to wake you,” You say as you retract your hand, “I’m sorry. I just saw the stitches on your eyebrow and wanted to have a look.”

“It’s okay. I’m just really happy to see you’re finally up,” Midoriya smiles, looking down at the hand you pulled away.

“What do you mean ‘finally up?’ How long have I been out for?” You place a hand to your head as you look at the clock on the tiny desk beside him, completely baffled.

“You’ve been out for three days now. You’ve had everyone worried. Your parents even flew down here to see what the problem was.”

“Wait- my parents are down here? Since when? Do you know where they’re at right now?”

“Uh, when I came to check up on you yesterday, they were here. I’m not exactly sure where they are right now, but they were here before I fell asleep last night,” Midoriya explains.

“You’ve been here all night? What about school?”

“Well, we’re still downtown close to Endeavor’s agency,” Midoriya adjusts himself in the chair, slightly cringing at the neck pain from the way he’s been sleeping.

“The day when everything happened, and I carried you to first-aid, they patched up most of the wounds you had, but you wouldn’t wake up, so you were rushed to the hospital. Even though work-studies are over now, Endeavor let me stay with you since I had to go to the hospital as well to get stitches. Endeavor’s assistant set up a room for me in a nearby hotel. Last night was the only time I stayed here overnight,” Midoriya explains the whole situation.

“So Kisa and her son-” You feel tears in your eyes before you hear someone walk into the room. You look up to see your parents walking in carrying takeout.

“Go get the nurse,” Your mom stammers as she nudges your father. Your father looks up, makes eye contact with you, and sets the food down on the table. He walks over to you, engulfs you in a gentle hug before turning around and leaving the room to get the nurse.

Your mother walks up to you and caresses your face with both of her hands. She pulls your face forward and presses a kiss on your cheek, then proceeds to pull you into a hug.

“We haven’t seen you in almost half a year, and then we hear that you’re in the hospital. Your gonna give your poor mother a heart attack, baby,” Her voice cracks a bit, still hugging you up.

You didn’t notice the nurse waking in the room until she started talking. “It’s so nice to see that your up. How are you feeling?”

“Ah, I feel fine. Nothing hurts or anything,” You reply.

“That’s good to hear. We’re gonna run a few tests and scans to make sure that everything’s good with you. If everything checks out, then you’ll be all set to go.”

The nurse helps you out of the room, and you run all the tests, passing each flawlessly. You are guided back to your hospital room when you see your parents, along with Midoriya eating the takeout they brought.

“She checks out on everything, so she should be good to go pretty soon. All I need to do is get her discharge papers and some clothes- since the ones she came in were ruined. So, I’ll be back with the papers and clothes shortly,” The nurse leaves the room with a smile.

"Are you sure you're okay, sweetie?" Your mom passes you your part of the takeout.

"Yes, I'm fine," Physically, at least. You still had a slight headache, but you wouldn't tell your worrisome mother that.

You find out that your parents were informed of the full situation, apart from why you were still in the building in the first place. As far as you know, they think you just didn’t make it out of the building in time. You didn’t tell them the real reason behind the unfortunate incident. You didn’t want to give them another reason to worry about you.

Alas, you had been discharged from the hospital. Midoriya went back to UA, and you stayed with your parents before they left in five days. Each day you had to try and conceal tears when they were around you. You managed to go the whole five days without them finding out everything, but you didn't realize how your suppressed feelings were piling up day by day. Your parents left on the fifth day, thinking that you were okay. In reality, you were far from it.

When you got back to UA you weren’t sure how you were supposed to carry on. You didn’t feel like you could actually continue on. You had been holding it together for the most part of the whole week, but it was painfully obvious to about everyone that you were anything but fine. You barely spoke a word to Denki and Mina anymore, and you seemed to only hang around Midoriya like a lost puppy- not seeming to want to be away from him. At some point, you stopped sitting at the lunch table with Mina, Denki, Bakugou, and Sero to eat lunch with Midoriya.

Whenever Denki or Mina came up and asked why you were acting so strange, you always told them that you would talk to them later or change the subject. You were keeping everything bottled up, and it felt like it could pour out any minute.

One day during training at ground beta, the class was doing an exercise where you were split into teams and had to retrieve items around the broken building before time was up. You thought you could go through with the training, but you were wrong. Once you stepped foot into the broken-down building, it brought back many horrifying memories, and you started to have a panic attack.

You were hyperventilating, and everything was starting to get spotty. The next thing you register is hands engulfing you and someone telling you to breathe. Once you calm down a little, you realize that you are being picked up and rushed somewhere.

When you come to it again, you realize that you’re being placed down on a bed. You look up and see Midoriya placing covers on you. He then walks over to the other side of the room, grabs a chair, and slides it over to the side of the bed. He sits in it then looks at you.

“Are you feeling any better now?” Midoriya looks at you as your eyes fill with tears.

“I’m not okay. I...I don’t think I can do this anymore. I’m not cut out to be a hero. I knew what I would be getting into when I signed up for this, and I knew people would get hurt cause I can’t save everyone but- I just can’t do this anymore,” The tears you've been trying to push down for weeks now finally made an appearance.

“I think I understand,” Midoriya sighs as he brings his hands to rub small circles over your back.

“Did you see her Midoriya? Did you see Kisa?” A part of you just wants Midoriya to say Kisa was fine, happy with her son.

“Only for a brief second, but I don’t think I fully comprehended that I saw her at the time. I was too focused on trying to get you out of that building,” Midoriya admits.

“She was already dead by the time you got up there. She had no pulse Midoriya. She was gone,” You whisper softly, looking down at the tear-stained covers.

“Hey, look at me,” Midoriya asks, and you do so. “I think you need to talk to someone about all of this. Like a therapist to talk about all of the things you're feeling.”

“Yeah...yeah, I think so too,” You agree as you nod your head and wipe the rest of your tears away.

—

In the following weeks, you had attended therapy at the expense of Endeavor’s finest agency. You had assumed that they paid for it because they pitied you. Nonetheless, you were honestly thankful, considering you didn’t want to ask your parents and explain why you needed it in the first place. Your sessions had been going reasonably well, and your therapist was very understanding. It took you nearly a month before you felt like you could be fully vulnerable with her. Your therapist was very patient with you and understanding; she never pushed for you to share anything if you didn’t want to.

During the month, you had stopped participating in training with the class. You would observe and analyze from the sidelines and give everyone pointers at the end. You still worked out with the class during workout sessions, but that was as active as you got. You still hadn’t opened up about the tragic situation to any of your classmates. Some days were harder than others; you could go a week with being somewhat okay, then the next you were not.

Another month had passed, and therapy was really starting to help you make it through your days- until one night, you had another nightmare. You knew it meant it was gonna be another one of 'those' days. You had practically dragged yourself through the day until night rolled around, and you felt like you needed some fresh air.

You heard on the news there was a high chance of snow sometime tonight. Snow would surely brighten your mood on this sluggish day, so you were hoping for your sake it snowed tonight rather than later tomorrow. You grabbed a random hoodie and some sweatpants putting them on over what you already had on. Alas, you headed for the door.

You had been outside for a little less than fifteen minutes when it started to snow. The snow started to collect on the ground and looked beautiful. The snow-covered branches and the icicles that hung along the UA rooftop reminded you of your love for the snow.

You had tilted your head up to the sky and closed your eyes, sticking your tongue out to taste a couple of snowflakes. You chuckled as you felt a cold sensation lie on your face. As you opened your eyes and looked into the sky, you were immediately reminded of the ash falling from the sky that day. You tried your best to push those thoughts out of your head because you didn’t want to ruin the experience of snow for yourself.

“What are you doing out here?! It’s fr-freezing- hold on I’ll be right back!” You turn around to see a bundled-up Midoriya rushing back into the dorms.

As fast as he left, he was right back. Along with him was a blanket and what appeared to be a hat. He draped the blanket over your shoulders and pulled the so-called hat over your head, covering your ears. You thought he was done until he reached over your shoulder and pulled the hood from your hoodie over your head, pulling the strings to tighten it.

“Are you trying to get hypothermia or something? Why are you out here? It’s freezing!” Midoriya grabs your hand and tries to warm them between his large ones.

“Well, I heard it was gonna snow...I just wanted to see if it would come down tonight," you find yourself staring at his attempt to warm up your hands, and you feel your cheeks slightly warm. "And I’m not really that cold, I have on clothes under this, so that helped a little,” He seems to notice you looking down at his hands and pulls them away quickly. His already red cheeks seem to go a shade darker.

“Oh, I’m sorry. When Momo told me she saw you walk out here a while ago, I overreacted, and I assumed the worst,” Midoriya stammers.

“It’s okay. At this point, I bet you can only assume the worst with me. I mean, I’ve put you through so much you're probably going to need therapy just from dealing with me all the time. Hell, I practically cling to you like a koala, it must get annoying. If anything I should be the one saying sorry to you,” You ramble letting out an awkward chuckle.

“No, don’t say that. I understand that you’ve been through a lot- it’s only natural to feel the way you do! I never judged you for any of your actions," Midoriya smiles. "If anything, I’m happy that you feel comfortable enough to lean on me for support,” he tries to reassure you.

“Well, it’s good to hear I’m not scaring you off. I think it’s time to head in...the snow is starting to really come down, and I want some hot tea.”

“Okay, that sounds good to me. But I feel like I can’t take you seriously in that All Might hoodie especially since you have the hood on,” Midoriya laughs as he points at the odd-shaped things that are supposed to represent All Might’s hair.

“Well, you’re the one that put it on my head. And how are you gonna make fun of the hoodie you got me?” You huff as you push Midoriya’s hand down so he can stop pointing at you.

“What? I think it looks good on you. I got it for you cause I knew you could pull it off.”

You don’t say anything to Midoriya as you proceed to drag him back inside so the two of you can make some hot tea. You end up forcing Midoriya to make the tea for the both of you since he made fun of you wearing the hoodie.

—

Three months had gone by, and spring was rolling around. Your therapy sessions continued, and you finally felt like you were in a good enough place to open up about the whole situation.

You finally came clean to your parents about everything. They were a bit unsettled by the news but were relieved knowing that you were doing much better. You still left out the fact that you didn’t want to be a hero anymore since you didn’t want your parents to be disappointed in you. You felt like you already put them through so much to move to Japan that it was just better for them not to know.

You had decided to tell Denki and Mina why you had been so distant lately. You had planned to have a talk with them at the same time, but Denki had claimed he was busy. You had finally sat down with Mina and explained your whole situation. She was so shocked to hear about what you had gone through. She even shed a couple of tears, and so did you, but she was there to comfort you. You were happy to finally have someone close to you other than Midoriya give you comfort about the whole situation.

You still hadn’t talked to Denki yet. Every time you wanted to talk to him, he seemed to be doing something. Part of you felt like he was trying to avoid you, but you figured you were just overthinking things. After about a week of trying to talk to him, you finally cornered him when you were pretty sure he was doing nothing.

“Denki, you're free right now, right?” You question Denki as he’s sitting in the dorm living room watching TV with a couple of others.

“Well, I was about to-”

“No more excuses. You’ve blown me off all this week saying you, 'have to do something.' I know you’re not doing anything cause I saw when you got back from training, and I know you finished your homework with Backugo and Kirishima earlier,” You eye Denki.

“So, stop trying to avoid me. I would just like about five minutes of your time, then you can go back to avoiding me like earlier,” You say as you grab Denki by the arm and drag him up to your room.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Denki sighs as the two of you finally arrive in your room, and he takes a seat. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

You explain your situation to Denki, and you can see a hint of guilt on his face. You assume he feels bad for avoiding you for so long since you were just trying to open up to him. You had finished telling Denki everything, and he offered you a hug and some comforting words. You were proud of yourself for not shedding tears while sharing your story this time. You thought of it as a sign of improvement.

“Anyway, enough about me. I can only stay on this subject for so long,” You say, grabbing Denki’s attention again. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I wasn’t exactly trying to. I was...um,” Denki scratches his head, almost as if he was trying to remember why he was avoiding you, “Well...I was just giving you your space. I thought you were trying to do your own thing, so I was just stepping back and giving you some room.” Denki says with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

“I honestly have no words for you, Denki. I really wonder what truly goes on in that head of yours sometimes. Anyway, now that you know I’m not doing my, 'own thing' will you stop avoiding me?”

“I mean, whatever floats your boat, I guess.” Denki sighs as he gets up and heads for the door.

“Wait- where are you going? I thought you would stay, and maybe we could watch a movie or something,” You say as you hear a light knock on the door and get up from your bed. You crack the door open slightly to see a beaming Midoriya.

“Hey! I just came by to check on you. Um, is it okay if I come in for a bit?” Midoriya tilts his head, peeking into your room.

“Um, well, I actually-” You feel a hand on your shoulder.

“It’s okay. I was just about to leave,” Denki says while looking between you and Midoriya as he tries to get you to open the door slightly so he can slide out.

“But, what about the movie?” You frown as you step back from the door.

“It’s getting late, and I’m tired, but I bet Midoriya over here would love to watch that movie with you. Wouldn’t you, Midoriya?” Denki suggests as he makes his way out the door.

“Well, I mean I wouldn’t mind watching a movie. I mean- if that’s okay with you- of course,” Midoriya stammers, glancing at you. His face goes slightly red.

“Well, that’s great! Don’t let me stop you two from enjoying that movie now. Have a good night, you two,” Denki says as he finally walks away.

“Um, Night,” Midoriya calls out as Denki disappears down the hallway. You stand in your doorway, very confused about what just happened.

From the days following, you and Denki had barely exchanged words. You would occasionally catch him glancing at you, but it was nothing more than that. You thought you had resolved whatever was going on between the two of you, but it seems like things were worse.

The time had come for you to leave for the summer, and you and Denki still barely even greeted each other. You didn’t even bother to tell him that you were leaving as you headed off to the airport after telling Mina and Midoriya goodbye.

By the time your summer ended, you hadn’t gotten one call or text from Denki. You didn’t try to reach out to him either since you figured he wouldn’t respond. When your third year started, you were surprised to see that Denki was perfectly fine and acting normal for the most part. Other than the simple fact that he no longer talked to you.

You had never been so confused in your life. You tried your hardest to figure out what the problem was. Was it you? Were you the problem? The stress was starting to fester inside of you, and you could no longer take it. So, you stopped. Stopped with all the overthinking and questioning. You realized you couldn't turn your life upside down over one person. You had bigger things to worry about, like graduating and figuring out life after school.

The year progressed, and you focused on school and tried to look into college and scholarships, all while staying in therapy. Your therapist really helped you through the ups and downs of the year. If it weren’t for her, you don’t think you would have made it this far.

With school nearly over, everyone was busy looking for agencies to work at after graduation. You had already decided on a college to go to, so you watched as everyone went through the motions.

Mina had found a place to work rather early, so she had nothing better to do than bother you on how you could come to visit her when she started work. Midoriya had been stressed out of his mind because he couldn’t decide where to go considering he had many amazing offers. So he spent most of his last days in school figuring things out.

Graduation day had been bittersweet. Your parents had flown in to see you and everyone off. Everyone was crying and remembering the amazing times they had throughout the years.

"You better come visit me girl, every Friday!" Mina shakes your shoulders.

"Mina, I don't even know what my schedule is like," You sigh as you just let Mina fantasize about what you two were possibly going to do on that Friday.

You didn't realize she stopped talking until she poked your cheek.

"Gotta run! You should turn around by the way," Mina giggles as she skips out to her other friends.

"What? Turn around..."

You were surprised to see Midoriya had walked over to you offering you a big bouquet of flowers. They were a bundle of beautiful red and white blossoms.

"I, um, just wanted to thank you for leaning on me when you needed it." Midoriya stares at the ground, his face redder than the flowers, "I know it must have been really hard getting through the rest of the year, so I just wanted you to know that I'm proud of you." He looks back up at you with a radiant smile.

"But, uh, I actually put some thought in when choosing the flowers! At first, I was going to choose your favorite color, but I thought the choice of flower should have more meaning so I did a little research. The flowers I got you are called Amaryllis, which mean-"

Midoriya almost drops the whole bouquet when you embrace him in a hug that you needed for a while now.

“Thank you Izuku, they’re beautiful.” You sigh as you squeeze him extra tight before pulling away from him. As you finally move to look at him once again you see that he is beet red.

“You- you said my first name,” Izuku stammers, not meeting your gaze.

“Well it’s about time, and besides you always say mine, so we’re even now.” You smile as you take the flowers from Izuku’s iron grip. You think you might have broken him because he hasn’t moved since you hugged him.

You thank him once again for the flowers insisting you should be the one thanking him for all he had done for you. Before you could fully walk away you see him bowing at a perfect 90-degree angle muttering something under his breath. You cover your mouth with your hand to not make it seem like you are laughing at him. You lower your hand over his shoulder to get him to ease up. He finally looks at you before he hurries off somewhere else. Somehow Mina managed to witness the whole scene and insisted that the flowers were a secret confession of love.

As you finish wishing all your classmates well, you head for the bag you had left in class before leaving. When you arrived in the classroom, you were surprised to see Denki sitting down in his old seat. You figured he wouldn’t want to spark any conversation, so you decided to just grab your bag then go. As you were about to leave the room, you heard Denki mumble something.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” You turn around slowly.

“I said, I’m sorry,” Denki repeats.

“Yeah, I heard you the first time, just wanted to make you say it again,” You smile slowly.

“I guess I deserve that.”

“You think?” You say sarcastically.

You two silently look at each other until you finally decide to break it.

“But why? What was the reason?”

“Figured since I was headed off to an agency and you were headed off to college it would be good practice to, you know, give each other some space,” Denki shrugs his shoulders as if nothing mattered.

“You're lying,” You deadpan. “Cause that’s basically the same excuse you gave me last time, and I thought we sorted that out.”

“I don’t know what you mean. Considering we’re taking different paths now, I thought this could be good for us, but I was clearly wrong,” Denki retorts.

“Yeah, you were wrong as hell. You were just gonna assume I wanted the same thing too? Well, I didn’t, and I still don’t.”

“That’s why I said I was wrong cause this is hard.”

“What’s hard?” You find yourself getting frustrated. It's as if he's trying to keep something from you.

“It seems to be everything lately, but especially staying away from you,” Denki states, breaking eye contact.

“Then stop. No one asked you to in the first place. I certainly didn’t.”

“It’s not that easy,” Denki sighs.

“Sure it is. Look, we're literally doing it right now. It’s not that hard. So, stop all this sulking and just go back to being the Denki I know.”

“Okay, whatever you say, boss lady,” Denki sighs, putting his hands up in defense.

For the next ten minutes or so, you and Denki spend time catching up over almost 8 months worth of information. You find out what agency he’s going to, and you tell him what college you plan on attending. The moment was almost as if nothing changed between the two of you. It was surprising to see how fast the two of you could go back to normal.

“I’ve been eyeing those flowers you’ve been holding for a minute, they’re really pretty. Let me guess your parents got them for you?” Denki asks as he gets up out of his seat.

“Right, they're gorgeous. I thought the same thing when I got them, but actually, no, my parents didn’t get them for me, Izuku did,” You say, smiling down at the flowers.

“Oh- did he now? That’s very thoughtful of him.” You didn’t notice the way Denki narrowed his eyes at the flowers.

“Yeah,” You sigh happily.

You look up to see Denki staring directly into your eyes. You could see him searching your face until he finally lands on your lips.

“Stop staring- it’s weird,” You chuckle as you look back at him.

Those words seem to snap him out of whatever trance he was in because he suddenly backs up a little. Without saying a word, he lifts his hands to take your bag out of your hand, and you let him. He places it on the desk right beside you two. Next, he proceeds to slowly take the flowers out of your hand and place them on the same desk, and you willingly let him.

He places a hand on your cheek and caresses it while looking directly at you. You stare up at him confused, but somehow almost stuck in place, unable to move. He begins to inch closer and closer until the two of your lips meet. The kiss was gentle and sweet but somehow filled with numerous different emotions. The emotion you could make out the most was sadness until the kiss was broken when Denki moved back and removed his hand from your face.

You were at a loss for words. That was your first ever kiss, and it was given to you by your best friend of all people. You stood still unmoving until Denki placed both your bag and the flowers back into your hands and walked towards the door.

“Make sure to keep in touch, okay?” Denki gives you a sad smile as he exits the room and closes the door behind him.

You didn’t say a word as he walked out, only stood there. It wasn’t until you realized that you had dropped your bag and the flowers on the ground. You drop to your knees, uttering five words.

“What the hell just happened?”

—-------

You wished you could have stayed true to Denki’s word and stayed in touch. You tried time and time again, but you could only do so much. You truly wondered what could have been going through his head the day he decided to change the two of your lives forever.

extra notes:

probably should be doing homework rn but i hope you enjoy this one :)