#officer these are my comfort heterosexuals

[unfinishedslurs]

aware of his bisexuality steve (steddie, buckingham)

“Is that a hickey?” Comes out of Steve’s mouth without permission. But there it is, bright purple and red against the slope of her neck. She’s been walking kind of funny this morning, too. He’d assumed her period came early, but… “Rob, did you—“

Eddie fumbles the coffee mug he was pulling down. Chrissy freezes, face turning white with fear. Robin whips around, face bright red, and slaps a hand over her neck. 

“Bathroom!” She yelps. “Bathroom now!”

“Wait,” Eddie says, setting the mug down with trembling hands. “It was me. Sorry, man.”

Steve stares at him, unimpressed. Why the fuck would he lie about—

He looks at Chrissy again, who takes a nervous step back, and it clicks. 

“Right,” he says, nodding quickly. “You. You gave Robin a hickey. Had totally awesome sex that she didn’t even tell me about.” He directs that last bit at Robin pointedly. He told her almost immediately when he lost his guy-ginity. Traitor. “Yep. Sure. Got it.”

Eddie blinks, confused. Robin buries her face in her hands. 

“Oh my god, calm down,” she groans. “That’s not going to work. Steve’s cool.”

“Cool?” Chrissy asks, still looking ready to bolt. 

“Super cool,” he assures her. “The coolest. So incredibly cool, even if my best friend didn’t even tell me when she lost her virginity.”

“Steve!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he says. “But I am going to need details, Buckley. We can go over what worked, and what needs more oomph.”

“Oh my god, can we talk about this anywhere else,” Robin groans, at the same time Eddie asks, “What, so you can get off on it later?”

“What,” Steve says. 

“You think two girls are hot, is that it?” He’s got a sneer on his face now, but Steve’s more observant than Dustin gives him credit for. Even if he wasn’t, it’d be hard to miss how hard his hands are shaking, the nervous tilt to his mouth. 

“Ew.” Steve’s face screws up. “Dude, no. It’s Robin.”

“Hey, fuck you,” Robin breaks in, from where she’s started comforting Chrissy. “You thought I was hot for at least a summer.”

His mouth drops open in betrayal. “We agreed to never talk about that again!”

“Can’t help being sexy,” she coons. Chrissy giggles wetly. “You wanna get married, Harrington? Have my babies? Stay home and raise six little nuggets while I bring home the bread?”

“I hate you,” he informs her. “Hate you so much. We’ll have a nice, heterosexual wedding and share a sad, heterosexual kiss, and you’ll carry me over the threshold of our nice, heterosexual house, and we’ll have boring, heterosexual sex that gives us nice, heterosexual babies, because we are so heterosexual and happy in our suburburban house in our nice little heterosexual town.”

He’s honestly kind of proud of himself for saying heterosexual so many times. Usually he fumbles words with that many syllables, especially after that many times in a row. 

Chrissy is outright laughing, now, endearing little snorts making their way between giggles. Eddie is looking between them like they’re a puzzle he can’t piece together. Robin grins.

“I’ll cuck you with the secretary.”

“Not if I cuck you first. You’ll be away all day in that office of yours, and I need someone big and strong to carry all the new furniture I ordered.”

“I knew it! I knew Timmy wasn’t mine!”

“Oh, but I couldn’t help myself,” he swoons. “Mark was just so sweet, with his bulging biceps and hand flexes, all hot and sweaty from helping poor little me while you were away! You know I’m weak to curly hair and brown eyes, Rob, how’s a man supposed to resist?”

“Fag,” she says, not without affection. 

“Dyke,” he shoots back. 

“Cocksucker.”

“Carpet—“

“Okay,” Eddie breaks in, clapping his hands. He and Robin both startle, and so does Chrissy from where she’s been watching them like a particularly interesting tennis match. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Robin lost her virginity and didn’t even tell me,” Steve says immediately, like he’s tattling to the principal. 

“Steve doesn’t seem to understand the concept of waiting,” Robin retorts. 

“I told you when I had gay sex,” he whines, and Eddie chokes. “I hate you. See if I ever give you tips again.”

“Oh, is that what you meant?” Chrissy asks. “Please don’t stop. They were good tips.”

Robin flushes all the way down to her toes. 

“You like boys?” Eddie wheezes. 

“Oh,” Steve blinks. “Yeah? I thought you knew.”

“You thought I—how would I know?”

The fuck is that supposed to mean? Steve’s been flirting with him for months!

“Robin always says we can sense each other! You sensed her.”

“You told him?” Eddie’s mouth drops open, and Robin looks sheepish.

“She didn’t have to,” Steve snarks. “You’re flagging in Hawkins, man. Was I supposed to miss it?”

“You know what flagging is?”

“Again, in case you missed it, I fuck men.”

“Fuck,” Eddie mutters. “Fuck! Christ, I can’t believe this. You’re, like, the epitome of heterosexual. I spent half of high school having to hear about how much pussy you were getting. Why are you not straight?”

“Wow, Eddie,” he deadpans. “Are you saying just because I like men and woman, I’m not queer enough? That’s kind of homophobic of you, man.”

“Yeah, Eddie, wow,” Robin says. “I thought you were better than this.” 

“Fuck off,” Eddie says. “I feel like I need to lie down. My entire worldview just shattered.”

“I have a couch?” Chrissy offers shyly. “Or a bedroom, if you need a minute away.” Fuck, Steve kind of adores her. Especially since she’s apparently vicious n bed, if the five other hickies he counts just from Robin bending down a little to whisper in her ear are any indication. Good for her.  

“Don’t worry, Eddie,” Robin says, with a glint in her eye that means he’s either going to love or hate what comes next. “If it helps, Steve’s never fucked a man in his life.”

Eddie’s brow furrows, looking between the two of them. “So…you’re just making fun of me?”

He looks a little angry now, and Steve can’t make heads or tails of this conversation because, “What the hell, Rob, yes I have—“

“Oh, so suddenly you’re the one doing the fucking?”

“Stop making fun of me for taking it!”

Eddie lets out an honest to god moan that he immediately slaps his hand over his mouth to cover up. “Right,” he says fervently. “Okay. I need to lie down, like, for real.” 

They watch him stride down the hall, so fast he’s almost running, and slam the door closed behind him.

“I could totally top,” he mutters to Robin as something that sounds vaguely like muffled screaming echoes down the hall. “I top girls all the time. It’s not my fault prostates are a gift from God.”

“Uh, you top because all the girls you fuck are from small town Indiana. If one of them brought out the strap you’d drop to your knees so fast—“

“That’s—I like topping!”

“Your favorite position is cowgirl. Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

“I will show Chrissy your baby pictures,” he hisses. Robin makes a face at him. Chrissy nods excitedly from where she’s still tucked under Robin’s arm. 

“Oh what’s that?” Robin practically shouts. “You like being pressed against walls and ravished? You want someone to tie you up and have their filthy way with you? Is that what you said, Steve?”

Another noise from the bedroom. He narrows his eyes at her. “What are you doing?”

“Helping,” she says sweetly. “You’re both hopeless.”

“I told you he’s shy!”

“Eddie?” Chrissy asks. “Shy?”

“Yeah, okay, I was confused too, but I figured it was the romance! He told me he hasn’t actually been in a relationship before, I assumed he was nervous to take that step.”

“Yeah, but dingus,” Robin says sweetly. “You’re missing a puzzle piece here. He thought you were straight. He thought he was flirting with his straight best friend he didn’t have a chance in hell with, and then he finds out that said best friend likes taking it up the ass and men with brown eyes.”

“Oh,” Steve says, realization dawning. “Oh, fuck. What if he doesn’t like me like that?”

Robin smacks the back of his head. “Why are you stupid?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Chrissy says. “Like, really don’t have to worry about that.”

“I’m not coming over tonight,” Robin says. “I’m gonna stay with Chrissy again. Er…if that’s okay?”

“That sounds amazing.” Chrissy beams, and Robin turns red again.

“Yeah, I’m going to stay with Chrissy again tonight. You are going to invite Eddie to stay the night when he gets done with his little crisis, and then we’re getting lunch at the diner tomorrow and you can tell me about it before our shift.”

“Right,” Steve says. “Right, I can do this. I’ve invited guys over before, how hard can it be? It’s just Eddie. But that was hotel rooms, not my house and my bedroom with my shitty wallpaper. And it’s Eddie. Fuck, what if I’m shit at it? Robin, what if I’m actually bad at sex and everyone who’s ever said I was good was lying because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings? Oh my god, I’m totally bad at sex.”

“Woah, dingus, slow down. I think we took the mind meld too far, you’re turning into me.”

“If it helps, I don’t think you’re bad at sex,” Chrissy says. Steve and Robin look at her, and she flushes. “Because of the tips! Not because—I’ve never slept with you, but some of my friends did, and I got three orgasms out of last night, so…”

“Oh thank God,” he breathes. “I was worried for a minute.” Then he raises an eyebrow at Robin, and holds out his hand for a high five. She slaps it, begrudgingly proud of herself, and then takes the hand to pull him into a headlock that’s honestly more of a hug than anything. 

“You’re fine,” she whispers in his ear. “You’re great at sex, as you keep telling me. What’s more, you’re funny, charming, handsome, brave, caring—“

“Aww, Robin, are you getting sappy on me?”

“Plus Eddie literally moaned in front of you when he found out you bottomed. I really don��t think there’s a way to fuck that up.”

Steve grins. “He did do that. I’m going to make so much fun of him later.”

“So,” Eddie says with a smirk, “men with brown eyes?”

“Hey man, don’t look at me. Blame Jonathan.”

Now Eddie looks stunned, mouth dropping open. “Byers?” He says, sounding betrayed. “You have a crush on Byers of all people?”

Steve feels offended on Jonathan’s behalf. “What’s that supposed to mean? Jonathan’s a good guy!”

“I guess.”

“What do you mean you guess? He’s sweet, passionate, good with kids, nice eyes. Can pack a punch. I mean, what’s not to like?”

“Uh, didn’t he steal your girlfriend?”

He waves that off. “That was, like, years ago, man. We’re cool now.”

“Right, okay,” Eddie mutters. “Well have fun with Byers, I guess.”

It clicks. “Oh,” he says. “Oooh. You’re jealous.”

Eddie splutters. “Jealous? I’m not—I don’t—you’re jealous!”

“Oh, am I?”

“Yes,” Eddie says resolutely, not looking at him. 

“Right,” Steve agrees. “Well, if I am jealous, maybe I should know that I got over Jonathan years ago, and have since moved on to brighter, hopefully more attainable pastures than my ex’s ex.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“A different man with brown eyes?” He suggests. “Who is also good with kids, and passionate, and…” he trails off, suddenly realizing all those times Robin made fun of him might not be based on nothing. “Oh my god, I have a type. Shit, I have to tell Robin she was right.”

“I figured that was a common occurrence.”

“Shut up. Where was I going with this? I had a point.”

“You were telling me how awesome I am?”

“Oh, suddenly it’s you we’re talking about?”

“I mean,” suddenly Eddie looks shy, and Steve can’t help but think even with the change in context he might have been right when he told Robin Eddie was nervous about being in a real, romantic relationship, “isn’t it?”

He feels himself smile, slow and wide and probably more revealing than he means it to be. “Yeah,” he says, in a tone he knows Robin would call soppy, “it is.”

[linka-from-captain-planet]

don't have the spare brain cells to actually write for Kinktober this year, but I am a fan of brainstorming elaborate kink scenarios for niche ships, and thus here is my informal offering of

11 Dragon Age F/F Kinktober Rarepair/Crackship Concepts

*not smut writing - just a listing of kinks matched with a ship and a basic scenario

Drugs/high sex, armpit kink - Briala/Celene. Coming in hot with a concept which spake itself to me once the factoid that Celene is apparently a fan of the wyvern drug mentioned in that DA2 DLC entered my psyche and promptly combined with the scene from Portrait Of A Lady On Fire in which that pair of blonde-brunette French lesbians sensually rub drugs into each other's armpits, which rules. Blah blah freedom, flying, seizing liberation where they could find it in this narrow world, impending heterosexual marriage, lesbo-eroticism, etc. Celene is the one more into the armpit part (obviously?), perhaps this is the first time she dares to breach it, and Briala is happily along for the ride. A fun romp as they do deserve a break from the drama and angst sometimes.

All manner of titty play/worship, against a wall/standing, size difference - Neve/Harding. IDGAF what the companion romances turn out to be, their tension is simmering based on the early clips and Harding just so happens to be boob height to Neve. They may never agree on anything except that beating people up is cool, but they can find some common ground when frustration comes to a head and Harding detects Neve's lack of bra and Neve scouts out whether Harding is strong enough to hold her up (she is). If this occurs early enough in Veilguard, then I think Harding would be the bruised-up one, so Neve could look down tenderly and caress her bruised cheek in a moment of sincere connection that she would then reject because she's not open to vulnerability yet and makes it weird (this is also kink).

First time, instruction/talking through it - Bethany/Merrill. Bethany's curiosity about sex with women is frankly cute and hot and I think Merrill would be both an extremely funny and extremely sweet person to share a first time with. Perhaps they're both left out of the Deep Roads expedition and, resenting that the others treat them like kid sisters, they hang out and one thing leads to another. This would also be part of my Merrill Fucks A Relatively Average Amount But Just Doesn't Know Human Social Norms/Slang agenda. Also Merrill's accent is hot and should be recognized for this.

Mutual masturbation, comfort sex - Josephine/Minaeve. This ship lives in my head rent-free for no other reason that Haven is so cold and that little office they shared is so warm, eventually, when they let each other in a little bit. However they don't get very far before the attack on Haven. Rattled, they find each other in Skyhold and find that warmth and comfort in each other again, even if neither of them feels quite ready to touch/be touched by the other. Romantic!

Furs, lingerie/stockings, hand/finger kink - Svarah Sun-Hair/Celene. What if those Avvar furs ARE the shit and Orlesians DO want them? And perhaps there's a demonstration in order? This encounter would in the Frostbacks for a flimsy reason because it would be too cold for Celene's anemic bones. Thus Svarah has no choice but to drape her in sexy furs and perhaps take a tour of her delicates while she's at it (they are beautiful but foolhardy), and her tough calluses would honestly put so many runs in Celene's dainty stockings, but she probably wouldn't mind too much because she's very into hands and Svarah's are so big and strong.

Rough sex, hair-pulling - Briala/Athenril. The main kink here is actually Briala trying to rebound after dumping Celene and finding out what it's like to fuck with someone who's not delusionally obsessed with her. But also I think she deserves the opportunity to get just totally railed by someone who'd be willing to at least slap her ass in public. Hair-pulling is important specifically because Celene loved tenderly stroking her hair. It would be a mixed bag of a semi-transactional situationship with a scumbag kind of like fucking your dealer (this too is kink) but at any rate, she's getting some quality D AND low-cost fenced supplies for her alienage relief project, so it's a win for Briala overall.

Restraints, seduction, flip-flopping power dynamics - Isabela/Cassandra. So what if Seeker Pentaghast caught up with another/different friend of Hawke, who is less cooperative than Varric and thus needed to be cuffed, but that wouldn't stop her from turning that situation around. Isabela won't betray Hawke this time by yapping, but she can deploy her mouth in other ways to distract the Seeker. This is certainly not what Cassandra had in mind, but it's perhaps too appealing of a flimsy porn scenario like in her books for her to resist too much.

Anal play/butt plug, accidental stimulation - Celene/Morrigan. Allegedly butt plugs were touted as a treatment for anxiety/depression in days of yore, and Celene loves woo-woo nonsense, and the civil war/getting dumped is hard on her, and Morrigan probably has an entire grimoire about the magical-medicinal applications of butt stuff. The narrative of this would be that it starts played completely straight (it's not sexual, it's medical care obviously) but it gradually becomes undeniably erotic but neither of them are willing to acknowledge it because Morrigan thinks she's straight and Celene is clinging to a shred of dignity despite the crystal plug in her ass. They leave this encounter feeling weird and unsatisfied, which imo is essential for at least 1 entry in any kinktober collection.

Spanking, "good girl", praise kink - Leliana/Josephine. Leliana NEEDS to be some woman's goodest girl in the world, and in the Inquisition, there's nobody she could trust but her good friend Josie to help fulfill this need. An encounter of vulnerability for them both as this also isn't Josie's comfort zone, but something to learn and explore together. Actually pretty romantic imo.

Period sex - Merrill/Aveline. Take the most and least squeamish women on Hawke's team, shake em up, add in some vague justification like Merrill trying to help Aveline with cramps in accordance with Dalish conventional wisdom (but also Merrill has always wanted to climb that and takes the opportunity).

Sex pollen, grinding/dry humping, not quite hatesex (resentsex?) - Neve/Rana Savas. Back on this ship agenda, the most important question for any ship defined by unresolved sexual tension is, under what circumstance could they have fucked before but STILL have unresolved sexual tension? The answer is obviously that Neve led Rana into some bullshit and they got sex pollen'd. "Fine, but I'm gonna complain about it the whole time" type of encounter where they're so done with each other but they gotta grind it out regardless because the pollen demands body contact even if they keep it above clothes because it's business, not pleasure. But then a hint of caught feelings seeps in after because it's hard to sustain high resentment for a sexy woman once you've smelled her post-sex pheromones and maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if they'd actually touched each other after all. Maybe they scratched that immediate itch but now they're under each other's skin for real... but that's a problem for later.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Mr. Chicken

Debut: Rhythm Heaven Megamix

The year is unknown. The world as we know it is unrecognizable. Ocean now covers nearly all of the planet's surface, and the remaining landmasses jut sharply upward, connected only by brittle stone bridges, if anything. And yet, despite all this...

This chicken bought himself an electric car, and he's ready to take it for a ride!

Mr. Chicken is the star of Charging Chicken, which is a game of chicken! You know, like, trying to get as close as possible to something without going over? I don't actually know why that's called chicken. Hold on, I have to look something up.

Ah! It is called that because the original game of chicken involved two drivers driving right toward each other, where one or both must swerve away, or risk crashing. If only one swerves, that driver is the Chicken, in the "coward" sense of the word. I would not call avoiding a car crash cowardly, but I cannot speak for people who would intentionally drive toward each other in cars! This does not help the reputation of the humble chicken.

Thankfully, Mr. Chicken is not driving into head-on traffic. Unfortunately, he is driving toward a landmass only a few feet wide, with a drop straight down into the ocean on the other side. Why is he doing this? Is he stupid? Yeah, I think so.

I don't know if Mr. Chicken is a terrible driver, his car is terribly designed, or both! The moment it finishes charging, it immediately zooms straight at full speed, so either it drives recklessly on its own until it runs out of fuel, or this chicken has the gas pedal slammed down to the floor at ALL times. I would not put it past him.

All this is bad enough, and that's without even mentioning that chickens barely have any depth perception! That's why they (and other prey birds) bob their heads while they walk- the things that they see will appear to move at different speeds depending on how far from the eyes they are! Delightfully, Mr. Chicken DOES indeed bob his head rapidly while driving, so at least he's trying, I guess. But if there is anything you take from this post, I hope it is that a chicken would not be good at driving a car.

Nevertheless, THIS chicken has his driver's license, somehow. And we get to hear his own thoughts about it!

"I've been driving for almost three years now. I get pulled over all the time, and I keep expecting a police officer to comment on my license picture--I look so good!"

I am happy he is proud of his photo. I'm sure it looks great, I always love looking at a photo of a chicken. I even included one in this post! They are so fun to look at. But getting pulled over all the time? I am disappointed in him! I don't feel comfortable with such a reckless driver on the road! If only he would change his ways, but that is surely too much to expect...

"When my safe driving record got me the gold driver's license, I asked if I could keep my same picture. It's such a cute picture of me!"

Wow! He changed his ways, despite me not having faith in him! It turns out even a digital chicken has the capacity to change. I am proud of him! This is now a chicken who all drivers should aspire to be like, in terms of both safety and self-love!

The non-Japanese versions of the game feature this, quite frankly, sick mural of Mr. Chicken and his car at the end of Machine Remix! I don't think this is his own garage, since there is a whole Car Guy character that this stage is hosted by, so maybe he's a beloved customer, and became a sort of mascot. He probably crashes enough cars to keep a repair shop in business!

There is even more to Mr. Chicken but I don't feel like writing anymore! Check out this official comic if you want to see some rooster heterosexuality.

[hermitcraftx]

I agree with your post about hermit fans in regard to things being very popular. I’ve seen more people being angry and annoyed about scarian in the last six months than people celebrating it. Not tagging shipping is shit but it’s better than harassing people. I don’t know what was put in the water but something changed drastically and I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s seen it.

IT'S FUCKING INSANE! This fandom used to be so positive and welcoming and overall way more pleasant than some... other MCYT fandoms, but now??? I can't log on without seeing untagged negative interpretations in the main tags, can't express an opinion without getting anons calling me heterosexual sympathizers and hoping that I die, everyone has turned their back on everything that used to make this fandom really... fun? Like, I don't tag ON MY BLOG, but usually I don't maintag my shipping posts, and if I do, I tag the ship name so people can filter it.... I don't maintag duo names. What the fuck happened to make everyone so- miserable. Anons are probably going to be permanently off for me, too many people comfortable with their opinions and not comfortable with mine and desperately needing to tell me that.

And like- look. I get not liking interpretations. Personally I'm not a fan of the Double Life cheating arc because of how abusive and out of character people made Grian be, and I had to avoid ao3 for a bit because of that and filter the fucking tags. Same thing with found family dynamics. Just because you don't like something doesn't make it "overrated and popular" and just because you don't like something doesn't make it immoral or unethical either!!! People have to make everything a moral standpoint nowadays and it's really exhausting-

But that's a tirade. All over all the confessions blogs there's "scarian is overrated" despite Grian having nearly 10mil subscribers and most of them being on YouTube and considering all the hermits friends or family truthing them. Yes, there is more shipping than before- that's because Hermitcraft season 8 made it very obvious that the people on the SMP and the people IRL are very different, and it's no longer considered RPF. None of the real hermits died via moon explosion, ZombieCleo often says she's doing "lore", they make different skins, even GRIAN acknowledges that he's acting and playing a part with the permit office. Despite all that, there's STILL wars on shipping and people insisting that we're shipping real people, I fought this war on the DSMP side of things and it's SO TIRING.

DND podcast listeners, do you ship the people playing the characters? NO!!!!! Unless you do, in which case, have fun with that. I don't really care about RPF and I filtered the tags for it a long time ago, so maybe they do do that.

Every other day I see "Third life is overrated" "Last life is overrated" (LAST LIFE IS OFTEN THE LEAST FAVORITE SEASON I SEE PEOPLE SAY!), "the life series is overrated" "the cactus ring is fucking stupid" "they left the desert but we didn't" "no, THIS interpretation of scarian is bad and wrong" and like... guys. Guys. Fandom is supposed to be fun. It is not supposed to be a full time job. It is not supposed to be moral or ethical and you shouldn't feel the need to police shit. Jesus Christ, every other month there's a new fad that tumblr users flock to and once it's over everyone goes "EWWW THAT WAS LAME AND OVERRATED AND I NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY" like.... I promise you cannibalism as an allegory for love is not mainstream you are just on Tumblr.

Like Good God. If it's so bad here go to Twitter. I'm sick of all the complaining and misery and hatred and I miss when things were fun- people are so scared of being cliche that they don't want to write things that they enjoy. Where are the coffee shop aus???? Where are the fun silly things??? Where are the 100k grimdark fics with worldbuilding??? Wheres the 500k fics that aren't even about the same characters anymore but that we love just the same??? Where are the forums and people talking to each other in comments and meeting each other that way??? Where are the roleplay servers?????? What are you all doing??????

People are scared of being judged. They want to do what everyone else is doing. They don't want to be cringe or cliche and every day I see a "cringe culture is dead" post and then someone making fun of another part of fandom, an antithesis to their previous statement. They don't want to be late to things, either. Who cares if Last Life was a couple years ago? Draw the fanart anyway!

I'm scared. Maybe I'm just old, but every post I see I notice that I get maybe a 10th in reblogs of what I do in likes, and I don't even post my art or fics to this site. Every post is like that. More and more people only like posts and they die, unseen, by everyone. More and more people misuse archive of our own's functions, treating it like it has some algorithm, when it doesn't, and it never has and hopefully never will. I see fic reuploads to "gain traction" (not how it works) and people reaching out to find RP partners (breaking TOS) and all sorts of other shit on both sites and it fucking horrifies me. I'm not even that old- I'm eighteen, and I can already tell how fandom has changed for the worst for everyone. Fandom used to be a community. Not consumption.

It's just... sad. Old fandom had PLENTY of fucking problems, and we have problems here too, but at least the positives outweighed the negatives. It's so... mean here, now. Even the happy things are mean-spirited. People treat it as if certain people have invaded this fandom space, spreading horrible opinions and ruining it for everyone, but the truth is is that shipping is always going to be a thing. It's a foundation of fandom- fandom started with housewives in the 1950s writing Star Trek fanfiction. You can never get rid of shipping. You can just interact with what you want to interact with and leave others to mind their own business.

[deeptrashwitch]

Mario Jiménez

Name: Mario Antonio Jiménez Castro

Age: 52 (by 2025)

Birth date: August 30th of 1983, Ubaté, Boyacá, Colombia

Death date: January 12th of 2025, Leticia, Amazonas, Colombia

Nationality: Colombian

Residence (former): Camp General Pinilla, Colombia

Affiliations: Colombian National Army (formerly), Anti-federationists (formerly)

Rank: General

Nickname: My love (by Paula), Commander (by the Anti-federationists)

Occupation: General and consultant in the Congress (formerly), leader of the Anti-federationists (formerly)

Height: 1,85 m/ 6'0 ft

Weight: 82 Kg

Blood type: A+

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Languages: Spanish (native), english, french, quechua and chibcha

Affiliations:

Anti-federationists:

-Camilo Ortiz Álvarez (former right hand man/ current Commander)

Ghosts (temporary):

-Gabriel Rorke

-Elias Walker

-Thomas Merrick

-Keegan Russ

-Alex “Ajax” Johnson

Family:

-Father (redacteed) (deceased)

-Mother (redacteed) (deceased)

-Paula Rojas Vásquez (wife) (deceased)

-Juliana Jiménez Rojas (daughter)

Personality:

-Thoughtful man, charismatic and a born leader that can use a situation in his favor in a matter of minutes.

-Appears to be cold or even aggressive at first, but in reality he's a fun man, romantic husband and lovable and protective father.

-Quiet man unless someone won his trust or they’re planning something.

Biography:

He was born in Ubaté, Colombia, as the only son of a couple of farmers. For years he worked in his parents farm while going to school, but also aware that at some point…it might be taken away from them. It could be because of paramilitarism, the guerrillas, the narcos or even the government itself.

Despite that, he continued working and studying until he finished high school. Honestly he was ready to work with his parents without going to college…but as soon as the ICFES results came back, he won a scholarship. Mario was ready to deny it and stay with his parents, but his mother asked him to go and even his father gave him all their savings the day he was departing to Bogotá for college.

He studied law and worked at night to pay for his studies. It went well until his last year, when he got the notice that his parents died at the hands of the FARC. The day of his graduation…he was alone because of that.

After that he joined the Army, mostly for hunting down the guerrillas and narcos, and started his services and career there.

Some years later, he was sent to a conference in one university. There he met Paula Rojas Vásquez, a woman that was in her last year of International Studies, with who he started a long conversation after the conference. They started to speak and go for a walk every time Mario and Paula had a free day.

In the end they fell in love and married when Mario was 27, in 2000, and that same year Juliana was born. They lived in Bogotá due to their work until 2011, when Paula did some research with the university she worked at and they learnt about the Federation's real intentions. After that, hell broke loose.

The Feds attacked the universities as soon as they arrived in Bogotá. Paula died in one of those attacks, and Mario started to prepare the exodus along with many others.

Camilo and he ran away from Bogotá the night before the Feds conquered the presidential palace. They walked, with hundreds of thousands of people before parting ways with a part of them. Their group headed to the south of the country, to the rainforest.

There, they walked for even more days while Camilo, Mario and many other officers discussed what to do. In the end, despite Mario's hatred for the idea, they ended up joining the guerrillas for pure survival. And that lasted for a decade.

In 2015 he went to Caracas along with some volunteers to help killing General Almagro, where he met the Ghosts and befriended them as well.

He always stayed with the kids after their training, comforting them and distracting them from the terrified and pained screams of some women and men. And the tenth year, they had enough to take over, so he led the adults and took over the camp they were at to make it theirs.

Like that the Anti-federationists were founded with him as Commander, and for some years he was the leader and expanden their influence. Until one day in 2025, he was found and killed in Leticia by Rorke, a Ghost he once met.

Skills:

-Sniper and recon expert

-Knows guerrilla warfare and conventional tactics

-Adaptability at any environment

-Experience in urban warfare as well

-Leadership at high scale

Trivia:

-Before the Feds even existed, he loved to go and take a walk with Paula and Juliana. Mario always carried his daughter over his shoulders, teaching her some things every time she asked.

-During the years with the guerrillas, he played the guitar to calm the kids down. And even then, he was saddened when he saw the older kids looking at the door with a mix of fear, anger and disgust.

-He made the main links with people that escaped in South America during his days in the guerrillas and when they already were Anti-federationists, leaving everything ready for Camilo to start with what he planned when he replaced him.

Picrew:

Face claim:

Alejandro Aguilar

[tomwambsgans]

tom's got that impostor syndrome masculinity where he's so insecure about it bc he knows deep down there's something missing from him that keeps him from living up to what's expected from him as a man. he finds comfort in immersing himself in the 1% because there's a whole different script for men there, like you're allowed a certain degree of what the working and middle class would consider Effeminacy when it's purely a matter of money, but that's a cloak that can only work in short bursts bc he's not actually the type of rich that he wants to be, he's self-built fake-it-till-you-make-it corporate rich, and so he still gets his manhood checked quite often by both those around him in the corporate world and also the silver spoon crowd that he's infiltrated.

he's emasculated at every turn, in many ways this being his own fault because the masculinity that's being stripped from him is overtly a performance to begin with. ntm he occasionally does it explicitly to himself simply so that he's taken the chance away from others. in simpler words, self-deprecating jokes. but they're also self-identifying in nature with how often he jokes about himself being a woman and gets some comfort from essentially relieving himself of the burden of having something to live up to. all girls here! bad news about my hymen! meanwhile we also see how deeply he doesn't truly feel this to be the case - how his insecurity about being actually seen as womanly runs so deep that he turns on shiv basically automatically when she becomes his boss. how he lashes out at the guy in the compliment tunnel for saying he's full of grace. how much shame he has in being called infertile. how his idea of celebration after being told he's not going to prison is to go absolutely animal, to destroy greg's office and literally pound his chest in this herculean, warrior's display of masculinity. but it's not a display, is it? who is he performing to but greg? it's for himself, because that's who he is. he wants to feel like a man and he can only do so in privacy. or next to greg.

of course his attempts to gain this ontological security about his manhood were in vain so long as he remained on a middle rung of the corporate ladder, a clumsy interloper among the roys, etc. it's not that i think what he needed all along was to be in The Chair or even that he's totally fine now with no self-journeying left to do but rather that now the path to really having greg is shorter than ever. and THAT'S what he needs. this whole time really if he'd just ever figured that he had to stop pursuing heterosexual masculinity, he'd have found that other men like him, specifically greg, would be the thing that actually makes him feel like a man.

[wisteriasymphony]

soooo. uhm. TAoL arc is gonna be a little gay.....

Looking at her made Cerise weak in the knees. Long reddish butterfly locs spilled like a waterfall of copper down to her waist, a few strands falling over her jacket—which she decorated with pins, one to "Save the Ocean", one with a black raised fist, one with the Venus symbol, and then other smaller pins with taglines like "I Voted" and "I <3 The Press". Kind brown eyes shone through tortoiseshell glasses, and then they narrowed into something more cunning and... foxy?

God, if only Cerise looked like her.

If only Cerise hadn't crashed into her and fallen over.

"Hey. New Student?" the girl asked, helping Cerise up. "What's your name?"

"Lila Rossi."

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, ROSSEAU ROSSEAU ROSSEAU! IT WAS MEANT TO BE LYDIA ROSSEAU, YOU SPENT HOURS WORKING WITH ADRIEN ON THIS YOU IDIOT——

"Nice to meet you. I'm Alya."

Lila hadn't actually talked with someone like this in a while, save for Adrien. Hell, she was barely comfortable talking as is. Lila knew she was probably holding onto Alya's hand for much longer than what was normal or heterosexual.

"You too," Lila said, resorting to an awkward grin. "I-uhm- You're— Thank you."

She never had any right to make fun of Adrien's dorkiness ever again. Every time he'd stammered or blushed or swooned over her felt like peanuts compared to this—No fucking wonder! The adrenaline would kill her. -Fuck, maybe he'd be worse around her if Cerise was actually pretty like Alya was! She'd apologize to him in their next class, hopefully. If they sat beside each other. Adrien could probably pull some strings.

"You haven't gotten lost yet, right?" Alya joked, finally pulling her hand away. "François Dupont is pretty big."

She was getting lost in something pretty, that was for sure. God, she'd never look that good in glasses. Or in orange.

"It-It's fine," Lila stammered back. "I, uh— I got to talk with Adrien, he told me where to go."

"Agresté, right?" A voice from behind called out. Suddenly, Lila found an arm wrapped around her shoulders. "No need, Miss Pickets. She's with me."

Alya scowled at the blonde who'd just butted in to their conversation.

"Don't you have a pink Mercedes to crash, Chloé?"

Holy shit, holy fuck, Lila was being sandwiched between two pretty girls and she hadn't even been here a week, how the hell did Adrien not go fucking stir crazy in this place surrounded on all ends by beautiful women, she was going to die and it would be right here, right now—

Chloé smacked a wad of gum between her teeth, her words flowing out with a subtle mintiness to it. "Don't you have a protest to attend, Césaire? If she's with Adrien, then I want her to keep herself around the right kind of crowd."

"What do you mean, 'right kind'?"

Lila slipped out from between both of them, plastering herself against a row of lockers like a squished fly.

"Haha, this is— I am so glad to be welcome here, really," Lila smiled, so anxious she thought it would make her cry. "But I, uh— I actually need to go to the nurses's office. I sprained my wrist the other day and uh- I— Bye!"

Lila had started the day off worrying that the worst possible thing to occur would be if Adrien asked to hook up in a janitor's closet. Now she wished that she had hid in a janitor's closet from the very start.

[00treebees00]

INTRODUCTION

Hey hows it going? Welcome to the debauchery aka my blog, Im happy to have you here:)

🌲You can call me Tree

🌲If you're a racist, transphobe, homophobe, ableist, minor or pedophile do not come near this page you are not welcome.

🌲Put your age in your bio or introduction post or i WILL block you.

🌲My pronouns are (He/Him) and I'm a heterosexual cisgender male. Single and emotionally unavailable🙃.

🌲Sorry, not comfortable with giving out my location or full body pics just yet

🌲Im a Service Switch that can switch between Dom and Sub at any given moment. I can be whatever you want me to be😌

🌲No unsolicited pics. Ask first freak.

🌲My Asks are open to everyone i love the attention😚. DMs open to mutuals.

🌲MY KINKS: Body worship, bdsm, femdoms, oral, soft domming, rough domming, sadism, dirty talk, praise, degredation, praising degredation lol, free use, cnc, risky in public, milfs, petplay, ffm threesome, reverse gangbang, breeding, office play, monster fucking, oral fixation, voyeurism, masc women, women in suits, buff women, marking, body writing and probably some other stuff i cant remember atm lol, im into most things.

🌲MY LIMITS: Pegging, feet, mmf, raceplay, gore(minimal bloodplay is alright), incest, anything involving anyone underage(that includes fictional characters too), piss, scat, being called "dad" (daddy is perfectly fine), inflation, somno(sometimes. Im back and forth on it), beastialty, feeding, noncon, age regression

🌲Want to read my posts? Check #treetxt

🌲Want to read what ive been asked? Check #asktree

🌲Want to check out some of my really cool mutuals that you absolutely should be following? Check out #My cherry blossoms😚🌸

🌲Taken anon emojis: 🤫🦋💚🦇🌹

[thewingedwolf]

my opinion, like many in the fandom, is that Buck has always been a little bi coded, and I think handling it like the way abc handled Rosa Diaz being bi, by simply having Buck drop some information he’s always known about himself but never been comfortable sharing, would be a decent way of handling it. for one thing, having both buck and eddie go through a gay panic thing would be a lot for one season, and maybe a bit repetitive, and I think it would be perfectly in character, while adding a really lovely layer to Maddie & Buck’s relationship, that Maddie has always known Buck was bisexual, and has attempted (maybe awkwardly) over the years to get Buck to be more comfortable with it. I also think it would add a really wonderful layer to Buck and Chim’s relationship (again, to make the b99 comparison bc this is a textbook “if i had a nickel for every time a beloved, diverse show involving police officers got canceled by fox and picked up by ABC bc beloved diverse shows with a really active fan base are their bread and butter i’d have two nickels” situation lol), the same way it was a natural & moving way to have the first person Rosa came out to be Charles, if Chim finds out because Buck needs to talk to Maddie about how he and Eddie had a stress induced make out on Eddie’s couch and then Eddie had a panic attack over being gay, and Chim is there trying to connect the dots of this conversation & be supportive bc Buck is anxiously mumbling while bear hugging Jee in his kitchen. And “Buck has been bisexual the entire time” leaking out to the rest of the 118 has a lot of potential; we know they’re all gossipy & nosy about each other, and Chim is terrible at keeping important secrets, so Hen & Bobby piecing it together from Buck‘s sudden interest in LA Gay Culture & Chim’s nervous stuttering, while Ravi is like “happy that you’re comfortable enough to come out to me Buck but again, i do not need to know this much detail about your personal life” all of this just seems like a very natural, easy way of getting Buck to come out.

and that leaves the Gay Panic storyline to Eddie, lmao. because whether they decide to go with the common fandom idea of “eddie is gay but due to being a really macho dude from Texas, born into a family of very typically ‘we will always love you no matter if you’re straight or choose to be gay’ esque family, has been heavy repressing it all these years” or they decide to make him bisexual, it’s clear that Eddie’s continued wild misses at dating women, panic attacks over the idea of being with a woman, and naming another man as the caretaker of his child in case he dies, that Eddie is primed to have an absolute break down if he ever comes out. Is it very similar to Carlos’ story? Yeah, obviously, but they’re incredibly different people, and more than that, the type of family they come from is incredibly common in this day and age, and whereas we’ve seen the fallout of all the shame that comes with feeling like your parents love isn’t unconditional wrt Carlos, we never saw the initial, badly handled coming out that prompted this break in the Reyes family, and we would be seeing that with Eddie and the Diaz family! not only that, but we have Hen & Toni there to help Eddie (and his parents & pepa & abuelita) through it, to help them handle what are bound to be difficult conversations on Eddie’s history of dating women his family will like that he has minimal interest in, and what happens now that Eddie is once again testing the unconditional aspect of his family’s love.

And that’s not even touching The Bobby And Athena Of It All, from Bobby once again relating to Eddie’s struggles of “what do you do when you feel like the core of who you are has shifted and everyone else is standing still” to Athena having intimate knowledge of the effect of coming out late in life, after you’ve lived a whole life as an ostensibly heterosexual man. We could get a really touching scene between Bobby & Athena and Buck, discussing how this is something he’s always known but it’s just been easier to let it go unsaid even if he knew Bobby and the rest of the 118 would be loving and supportive if he ever came out. Imagine the jokes re: Buck, Eddie, AND Hen being the messiest gays in LA while Ravi is begging them to Say Less.

I think the storyline potential of “Buck and Eddie impulsively make out after a stressful call in ep 1 and then skirt around their feelings for at least half a season” can be really rich, and also kind of in line for how abc has handled a character who got popular for being bi coded, and I’m not saying i trust them to not be cowards about it, but I am saying they shouldn’t be cowards about it.

[lovelymindescape]

Haikyuu male matchup plz

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: heterosexual ally

Zodiac: Capricorn

Appearance: 5’2 African American hourglass body (although I’m more top heavy if you know what i mean) black curly wavy hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks wears glasses sometimes (im far sighted so it’s usually when driving in class or at the theater)

Mbti: infj

Enneagram: 2w1

Personality: kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward clumsy low self esteem low confidence (more pertaining to my talents or personality then my looks) sassy sarcastic (I’m mainly these things with people i feel comfortable with like friends or family) soft spoken cute (my friends think im cute because i can be pretty innocent plus I’m small physically)

Likes: animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets and bread helping being a part of something bigger than myself

Dislikes: spiders loud sounds people who harm others people who don’t take others into consideration (like make insensitive jokes or don’t consider the comfort of others or are mean just cause they can) people i care about not caring for themselves (im a hypocrite on this i take care of everyone else but not me) not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests (I’m being tested for a math disability and i have test anxiety)

Love language:

Giving: acts of service gift giving and physical affection (if they’re ok with it)

Receiving: words of affirmation and physical affection (although i can be shy about it)

Extra: i pace a lot i sing when im alone i talk to myself im a picky eater (mainly with textures) i have a cat i have minor ehlers danalos (a hyper mobility disorder) but it doesn’t hurt me like it does my sisters i get abdominal migraines which is basically like a migraine but instead of headaches it’s nausea

Thank you

hey luv , here's your matchup, hope you like it

I Ship you with

Sugawara

you two first meet in the halls of Karasuno , you were running late and hurried to class

he stepped out of the classroom to get chalk

you bumped into eachother and at first you two thought it was just this one incident

but you started seeing eachother in the breaks , at first little waves which turned into handshakes and talks which turned into hugs and being friends

now suga is someone who takes care of a lot of people , so it's nice for him that you started caring for him (because let's be honest he puts himself at the very last place of caring )

and so it goes a long time , caring for eachother , you come over to his Home or he comes to yours

but one time , when you were meeting up, something seemed of about him , it was like he was holding back

it didn't take long for you to notice , so when you started talking to him about it he opened up to you quickly

turns out someone told him, he was to bothering for the members and said they found it annoying how he was always spinning around them like a helicopter Mom

so you reassured him that he is a great Person and that its a good trait to be caring

after your little speech to motivate him , he blurted something Out which you didn't understand at first but then he repeated it " your special to me and i think i like you as more than just a good friend"

at first you didn't believe the words that came out of him but soon told him that you thought the Same was about him

you both decided that you take it slow, and not call it anything yet , so you were basically friends with kisses

then one time when he took you out for a date he asked you to be his girlfriend offically and you said yes

so from now on you were the highschool-sweethearts in karasuno

you met up even more than before and watched movies and always cuddled up to eachother

always checking up on eachother over texts with things like have you eaten today and drank enough water and make sure to take care of yourself

you two call almost every night to fall asleep in eachothers presences

you come to his games and support him

your the reason he keeps goin so you Always motivate and reassured him and ist's also the other was around

all in all it's a very comforting , reassuring and motivating relationship

So that was it for your matchup , i hope you liked it and i would appreciate Feedback , so i know If i can do any better

Luv ya 🌷

[andybernardirl]

Have been doing a rewatch of the office and going through the tags and I've seen you refer to Oscar as autistic and having low empathy. What are you basing this on? Not sure I see that at all but I'm always curious of others seeing things I'm not. Is this your own version of Oscar not from the show or are you seeing these traits from his character on the show itself? Asking as a fellow audhd guy.

in all honesty it's been a while since i've rewatched the office, but it's actually a headcanon i adopted from a couple of my mutuals! although i didn't fully agree with it at first i ended up warming up to it because they did kind of have a point, because he's very rational, and blunt at times and can say things that hurt people's feelings. this is especially evident to me when andy (whom i hc as bi) runs to him when he was questioning his sexuality and oscar didn't really see where andy was coming from (what exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort insecure heterosexual men? that can't possibly fall to me.)

thanks for asking! questions are always welcome here. if you're curious about my own neurodivergent hcs i have myself and didn't adopt are - andy (adhd), erin (autism) and michael (audhd)

[crystalelemental]

I'll keep general responses under the cut, just in case.

It's honestly a little funny how much the notes felt like building toward a secret ending, and then just...nothing. Like what? There's an exit to the south of that screen you just can't even use. I thought maybe if I explored everything but ran out of his office instead it would change an ending, like I'd have something to incriminate him and change the outcome, but nope. It's so wild how much that whole situation didn't matter. I also way overprepared for the catacombs. I saved up for a whole bottle of St Walpurga Oil and didn't even need it.

I think the with refusal endings are odd just because of how much went into getting you that far, and that we've proven the marquises can operate in the material world. Like, they sought you out to develop these gifts, and had an invested interest in bringing you to Ozzy, and you can just...leave? Like not even leave that night and just run toward Primaldorf (which was my first inclination for an ending), but go through putting all the offerings up, visit the tree and see the riches, and then just...back out. With no consequence. After all this background discussion about how giving up your resolve will turn you into one of the Golden Girls. And the witch not showing up at all in endings unless you intentionally botch the offerings is...strange. Like is there a reason for that, or...?

I wouldn't know for sure with Hans, but at least in the wish refusal end for Leb, they talk about Hans just...dying at some point, and that he must have just let her drop the nun thing and go travel. Which...sure? I have no problem with that as a conclusion, I'd assume he found his answer about the whole witch situation. Like okay, there was no witch because you don't take your wish and just up and leave and then nothing happens ever again, so...guess St Walpurga is on the level? I guess? I dunno, it isn't even entirely important, I guess.

Like, what is the thematic focus of the game in that sense? I've only played one route so there's stuff missing, but looking at how things end on Leb Route: following the wish route while sacrificing everything is the worst case outcome, messing up the ritual to give power to the witch somehow gets you killed, the church isn't exact stable given they're willing to kill you and have this deep fixation on sin. The only good outcome is...leaving with your lover. Letting go of all of that. Because ultimately, riches and status and comfort? Isn't really what Elise wanted most. Her own words betray that pretty consistently. It's not about fame and fortune. It's about being treated well. Being seen as someone worthwhile, in a way she's often not in town. You're constantly under suspicion for...well, existing. One old dude shouts about a witch, and half the town side-eyes you like "he's got a bit of a point" despite how much you do for them constantly. Choosing the companion who does see you as you are and loves you for it makes sense as the good outcome, because that is your real wish. The witch is a little odd, in that I still can't get a great handle on too much of her existence, but she seems all about the desire to create new life; to conceive a child. Bit of a reach, but all of Elise's romance partners are girls, and Walpurga seems more of a nature witch, so is her focus on bearing life in the womb and having to reject the witch's influence meant to be about like...a compulsory heterosexuality thing? I'm not really sure, but I still have routes to play and have been awake for all of 2 hours since finishing it, so this is not exactly coherent.

The second crow puzzle legitimately almost made me refund the game. Like I was so close to losing it. We do all this bullshit and the boy still goes out of his way to be "No we saw a witch and Elise is lying!" Like, child? I should have let the crows eat you.

The berry grove isn't like...the worst of it by any metric, I think it's just more annoying. I do not like navigation puzzles where the focus is "Everything looks super similar and it's damn near impossible to find anything," and mistakes costing like a third of your HP in a game where it's hard to keep sufficient resources is...not my favorite. It is at least static, I think, so like...small favors.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi! ♡ I’d really love to ask for a romantic Mystic Messenger, Tears of Themis, and Obey Me match-up, if you don’t mind and whenever you have the time.

⋆｡˚ Demographics. • Name: Seri • Age: 20 years old • Pronouns: She/Her • Sexuality: Heterosexual • Zodiac Sign: Aquarius • MBTI: INTJ (?) • Education: Double major in finance and accounting

⋆｡˚ Physical Appearance. • Height: 173cm (5’8”) • Hair Style: Currently have a long, Elizabeth perm • Hair Color: Chocolate Brown • Eye Color: Chestnut Brown • Clothing Style: Chic and feminine

⋆｡˚ Personality. • At first glance, I may come across as someone difficult to get to know, stoic, and distant, but I am just a naturally private person unless there is a common ground, or it is necessary to speak up (to the point where I opposed a fair few of teachers and the chief academic officer once in school due to their hanker after blind obedience and even got detention a few times, lmao). In spite of my reputation for being closed-off, I am easygoing, open-minded, playful, and quite amiable when I want to, as I can make people feel either comfortable or intimidated in my presence. • I have no issues socializing and spending time with others because it’s eye-opening and thought-provoking to meet and listen to other people’s different viewpoints and values at times, but I am particularly partial to the company within myself—except if it’s the people I am very fond of. • I am upfront about my intentions, decisive, outspoken concerning my opinions and stance, well-organized, strong-willed, self-assured, good at managing my time, quick to take on new challenges and learn new things, and an independent thinker. • I like doing things that make my friends and family happy as long as it’s reasonable, doesn’t infringe on my principles and personal boundaries, and is within my capacity. After all, I do my best to practice all five love languages with them. If they enjoy some activity or develop an interest in something, I try learning and spending time with them bonding about it (which ultimately leads me to this bottomless pit of Otome games, lmao). If they want a materialistic gift, I have no problem purchasing it for them, or during some special occasions, I gift them something memorable. If they are preoccupied or swamped with some matters, I take the initiative to accomplish a task that will lessen the burden on their shoulders, or simply take care of them. I am good at giving verbal support and validation and quite adept at seeing things from other individuals' perspectives. Lastly, once I sense they are down in the dumps, I give them hugs! ♡ • I am passionate about the things I am doing in my life. I never do and accomplish anything half-hearted and less than a hundred percent of what I know I am capable of; it’s always and only either “not doing it” or “giving my hardest.” I love challenging my limits while improving and growing along the way, too.

⋆｡˚ Preferences. • Likes: Tea (especially the floral blends), coffee (especially lavender latte), gardening, floral scents, spring season, cooking and baking (only for me and my special people), traveling, drinking and collecting wines, watching musicals and operas, volunteering, mathematics, science, KPOP, classical music, puzzle games and riddles, mystery solving activities, and anything that challenges my intellect. • Hobbies: Car racing, archery, sketching, photography, documenting my everyday life through videos, reading, playing Rubik’s cube and tabletop games, pilates, dancing, shopping (with my hard-earned money), skiing, and playing piano and violin. • Dislikes: Summer season, anything to do with horror and thrillers, afterparties, fireworks, singing, raw vegetables, people that projects their insecurities onto me and others, groundless rumors and malicious gossips, and being talked about behind my back.

⋆｡˚ Extra Information. • I have a keen memory and exceptional skill and intuition in knowing and reading others and the room, which has been a tremendous help in responding and reacting well in various situations. • I have competed in some pageants and various mathematics, science, and debate competitions. After all, I like collecting medals, trophies, and certificates, lmao. I was also a student council president in my high school, but I no longer hold any leadership position nor joined any competition after entering college due to my double major and my current part-time as a model (just started a month ago, though). • I have two female pets—a Ragdoll named Soraya or simply Sai for short and a Samoyed named Snow.

That’s all I can think of right now. Thank you very much! ♡

Hi Seri! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while! I hope you like your matchups!

In Mystic Messenger, I match you with...

Zen loves that you're an artistic person. As an actor, he needs that in his life.

He loves listening to you play the violin and piano and will absolutely join you in dancing. He's got the balance and posture for it so he's pretty good at dancing.

He finds it easy to match the energy of your dancing so whether it's an upbeat rhythm or a slow song, he doesn't mind.

Zen is pretty used to being surrounded by rumours and gossip since he's in the spotlight so much. But he's going to do everything in his power to keep you away from all that.

I think Zen would enjoy doing video journaling with you. It's pretty popular amongst public figures so, if you're comfortable with it, he'll upload a short video every day about his life.

He would love your cooking! There's nothing better than spending the day working on his latest role and coming home to a home cooked meal with his favourite person in the entire world. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

In Tears of Themis, I match you with...

Artem loves that you’re a family oriented person. He may not seem like it, but those sort of deep connections mean a lot to him. He’s glad he falls into that category.

He also greatly admires your strong-willed, organised nature. Those things are critical in his line of work so having someone that shares those traits really helps him out. He’s got a pretty strict routine so he’s glad you’re okay with that sort of thing.

Please take photos of the two of you whenever you go on dates! Artem will save every single one and put them on a digital photo frame on his desk.

The frame rotates between photos randomly so wherever he looks up from his work, there’s always a different photo of the two of you to greet him.

Artem would enjoy listening to you play the violin and piano. He seems like the kind of person who knows music so please know that whenever he compliments your playing, he knows what he’s talking about.

If he hears anyone talking negatively about you behind your back, he’s shutting that down so fast. He’s not an openly confrontational guy but when it’s something like that, he has little patience for the other person.

In Obey Me, I match you with...

I’m just realising that if I’d matched you with Jumin Han, we would have had the holy trinity of matchups. But I stick with what I said about Zen!

Like Artem, Lucifer may not seem like it at first but he’s a very family oriented guy. He cares deeply about his brothers and, of course, about you.

Coffee dates! Whether you go out to a café or stay in and make the coffee yourself, Lucifer enjoys being in your presence with one of his other favourite things…a good cup of coffee.

As an extension, Lucifer loves your baking. Nothing makes his day better than going down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and finding fresh baked snacks lying on the counter. He can always tell who’s made the snacks and his favourite days are the ones when he can tell you’ve been cooking.

Another one who knows good music when he hears it. He’ll give you pointers where necessary to make your playing better but for the most part, he just likes listening. There’s something nice about the little imperfections.

If you’re dating one of the brothers, there are going to be a lot of rumours and gossip. However, Lucifer’s social standing and presence means you have scary-dog privileges wherever you go.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi! ♡ I hope all is well with you. I saw that match-up requests are open in your blog description, so I’d really love to ask for a romantic Mystic Messenger match-up, if you don’t mind and whenever you have the time!

⋆｡˚ Demographics.

Name: Seri

Age: 20 years old

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Education: Double major in finance and accounting

⋆｡˚ Physical Appearance.

Height: 173 cm (5’8”)

Hair Style: Currently have a long, Elizabeth perm

Hair Color: Chocolate Brown

Eye Color: Chestnut Brown

Clothing Style: Chic and feminine

⋆｡˚ Personality.

At first glance, I may come across as someone difficult to get to know, stoic, and distant, but I’m just a private person unless there is a common ground, or it is necessary to speak up (to the point where I opposed a fair few of teachers and the chief academic officer once in school and even got detention several times because of it). In spite of my reputation for being closed-off, I’m easygoing, open-minded, playful, and quite amiable when I want to, as I can make people feel either comfortable or intimidated in my presence. My attitude depends on what kind of person they are and how they treat me and the special people in my life, really. If they’re friendly and pleasant to be around, I do my best to reciprocate that positive energy by cracking jokes, reacting to whatever they’re talking about, even if it’s nonsense, and engaging in idle chatter. If it’s so-so, I remain silent unless they ask me something and simply observe them in the background. If they ruffle my feathers, I will get even using my own silent little ways and be their unexpected retribution. It takes quite a long time to wane my patience, so it’s my pleasure to bestow them a memorable prize for their unwavering hard work and dedication. ^^

I have no issues socializing and spending time with others because it’s eye-opening and thought-provoking to meet and listen to other people’s different viewpoints and values at times. Still, I’m particularly partial to the company within myself—well, except if it’s someone I’m very fond of. I like spending time with them more than when I’m by myself because I cherish every moment I get to have. I’m also family-oriented and protective of my friends (because most of them are too nice for their own good).

I’m upfront about my intentions, outspoken concerning my ideas, opinions, and stance, well-organized, strong-willed, self-assured, good at managing my time, and an independent thinker. I thrive on routines but don’t mind spontaneous activities. I have a keen memory and exceptional skill and intuition in knowing, reading others and the room, and feeling others’ moods, which has been a tremendous help in responding and reacting well in various situations. However, I scarcely ever speak up and open up about any of my negative thoughts and emotions and feel uncomfortable asking for help, even when I’m genuinely at my breaking point. I deal with my personal problems independently because after solving them, it’s a lot easier to let bygones be bygones.

I’m quite a busy bee and tend to bite off more than I can chew. When I was in high school, I was the student council president, the class secretary, and a member of the dance club that demanded a regular practice due to frequent public performances for school events while also competing in some pageants and academic competitions. It’s a terrible habit of mine, but I can’t stop myself because aside from having a weird obsession to collect medals, trophies, and certificates, I feel like I have to be productive at all times and make the most of my every day. I still have that tendency because I’m currently a part-time model despite being already buried in schoolwork, but I guess it’s better than before because I’m now rejecting any leadership position and competition and did not join any club ever since entering college (I still wish there were more hours in a day, though).

I like doing things that make my friends and family happy as long as it’s reasonable, doesn’t infringe on my principles and personal boundaries, and is within my capacity. I do my best to practice all five love languages with them. If they enjoy some activity or develop an interest in something, I try learning and spending time with them bonding about it (which ultimately leads me to the bottomless pit of Otome games). If they want a materialistic gift, I have no problem purchasing it for them, or during special occasions or depending on my mood, I give them something, like floral bouquets, handmade gifts, and usually, home-cooked foods and desserts. If they are preoccupied or swamped with some matters, I take the initiative to accomplish a task that will lessen the burden on their shoulders, or simply take care of them on the simple things, like serving them food, bringing them coffee, etc. I’m good at giving verbal support and validation and quite adept at seeing things from other individuals’ perspectives. Lastly, once I sense they are down in the dumps, I either give them hugs or offer advice if they want.

I’m passionate about the things I’m doing in my life. I never do and accomplish anything half-hearted and less than a hundred percent of what I know I’m capable of; it’s always and only either “not doing it” or “giving the best of my abilities.” Because of that, I have difficulty accepting failure, losing, and something has not worked out how I wanted it to.

⋆｡˚ Preferences.

Likes: Tea (especially the floral blends), coffee (especially lavender latte), gardening, floral scents, spring season, cooking and baking, traveling, drinking and collecting wines, watching musicals and operas, attending concert of my favorite bands, artists, and KPOP groups, live gigs, and music festivals, amusement park, eating street foods and in various small restaurants (they usually have the best foods), volunteering, mathematics, science, classical music, puzzle games and riddles, and mystery solving activities. I really love learning new things (I’m recently learning guqin!) and challenging my limits. Aside from that, I have two female pets—a Ragdoll named Soraya and a Samoyed named Snow.

Hobbies: Car racing, archery, sketching, photography, documenting my everyday life through videos, reading, playing Rubik’s cube and tabletop games, pilates, dancing, shopping, skiing, ice skating, and playing piano and violin.

Dislikes: Summer season, anything to do with horror and thrillers, afterparties, fireworks, swimming (especially in beach), singing, raw vegetables, the “only talk, no action” people, people that projects their insecurities onto me and others, groundless rumors and malicious gossips, and being talked about behind my back. I also don’t like being with people who hold me back.

That’s all I can think of right now. Thank you very much! ♡

I match you with...

Jumin!

Not to tease you or anything, but it's the first time in a while I've seen a detailed list of someone’s life and personality.

I don't have any rules on how people share things for a matchup, but I’ll be honest, someone as kind and meticulous as you has earned a place in Jumin’s heart. You know what you want out of life and don't want anybody to ridicule or mock you for the way you experience life. Some people might say that's high maintenance, but I would say that is loving yourself and knowing what you want.

Never minimize your wants. 

You would rather live a life while experienced than a life in fear. You prepare yourself for the challenges ahead and you go through with them, even when the tough gets going. You are passionate, and what does Jumin admire? He admires people who are willing to be who they truly are without fear. You inspire him to be honest with himself. You make him want to explore his specialized interest without looking over his shoulder to see if somebody's going to say something about it. 

Even if you lead very busy lives, you find the time to be there for each other. Time well spent is the time you spend together at the kitchen table, smiling at one another as you prepare the meal yourself. 

[darspeaksout]

The Longest Dream

On a random Saturday morning, I woke up on the highest floor of an apartment building. My partner was laying next to me. Taking me in his arms, I felt the warmth of his body pressed against mine. The bedroom window which led to the balcony presented us with a view of the city that spread into the distance. Roads leading to condominiums, office spaces, skyscrapers, and the CN Tower far away.

We remained in each other's embrace, exchanging kisses and warm words as the sunlight poured abundantly into the room. To be happily in love with a man in the comfort of our own privacy, to receive this love without any shame or guilt, is something I thought would never be possible for me.

THE PAST

It was over a decade ago when I was a student, crying in a hotel room that I was sharing with some other guys in my grade. Word had gotten out about my sexual orientation and for three long years, I had watched my core group of friends dwindle, one person at a time. Which is why when I joined the out-of-province trip to Quebec, I found myself feeling alone in the hotel room despite sharing it with three guys, and wandering the streets of Old Montreal by myself while the rest of them went off exploring together. Every local shop, sidewalk, statue, and church we visited, I was alone. Physically, my classmates were there. Emotionally, nobody was.

I understood my lonesome expedition to this culturally different province to be my punishment for not being heterosexual, and for letting that fact get out. In my little kid brain, this trip to Quebec taught me that the price of being honest about myself was loneliness and exclusion. I learned that if I wanted people to stay, I needed to be more discreet. I needed to downplay any feminine attributes, or better, eliminate them entirely. I needed to make friends with guys to prove I was still one of them, but not get too close as to arouse suspicion that there was a possibility for romantic attraction. I needed to change myself in order to feel like a successfully integrated boy-becoming-man. I wanted respect, which I would later discover would come at the cost of my authentic self. And so began my future of pretending to be someone I wasn't.

I never talked about that Quebec trip until now. I felt like I had no right to feel upset especially considering that at that age, it was a privilege and a luxury because not every student could afford to go. I spent most nights weeping than I did laughing. I was counting down the remaining days because I wanted it to end. Even though in our hotel room there were two king-sized beds, the three guys I was rooming with all slept on the other one because they wanted to avoid me. I never told my parents this.

There's a guilt that comes with privilege, it's the guilt of feeling like your pain isn't valid because someone always has it worse. Yes, I was bullied. But it was all words and no one ever put their hands on me. Yes, I felt alone. But I was alone while traveling, compared to some students who felt alone and were stuck where they were. This is what I told myself. I should just deal with it.

Suffice it to say that as a kid, I didn't allow myself the space to be upset, to grieve loss, to feel anything. And because I didn't allow myself to feel pain, I couldn't feel joy either. The joy would always be accompanied with guilt. Self-hatred and guilt, or happiness and guilt. Always guilty and never fully living. Even on the days when it wasn't so bad, deep down I felt I didn't deserve to have these moments of peace.

So when it was time to graduate from elementary school and I took home all the academic awards, I couldn't feel proud of myself. What right did I have to feel good when I'd lost most of my friends upon their discovering that I was not straight? Because I was gay, it caused my best friend to distance himself from me. Because I was gay, my friend who was dating my best friend started to become suspicious that I would develop feelings for him. It was my fault they left, I told myself. There was something wrong with me that they couldn't stand to be around. I was the problem.

At graduation, I remember the first award I won was religion. The teacher who stood next to me on stage whispered not to return to my seat just yet. I was confused but then it made sense when they announced my name for the next award. And for the next one. And for the next four. The award goes to Darwin and to Darwin and to Darwin and to Darwin. The room filled with cheers and applause. And each time they called my name, it was humiliating.

I remember putting my head down. People might have thought I was doing it out of humility, but I was actually doing it out of shame because deep down I knew the price I paid for this success was the loss of myself and the loss of acceptance from my peers. When the ceremony concluded, I didn't receive a single "congratulations" from anyone in my graduating class. What hurt most was the people who I considered myself to be closest with didn't congratulate me either. Even though we'd fallen out by then, part of me was hoping they would find it in themselves to be happy for me. I think if I'd had at least one person in my corner, it wouldn't have been as painful.

It was from this experience that I associated my success with people's resentment. You would think this would've discouraged me from further excelling in my education. Quite the opposite - since people wanted nothing to do with me anyway because of my sexual orientation, whether or not I was academically gifted had no effect on their decision to avoid me. I poured my energy into my schoolwork going into high school and all throughout university, which did serve me well. But I felt alone for most of it.

At the school trip, I was an outcast and I had no awards. At graduation, I had awards but was still an outcast. I received the same treatment when I had nothing and when I had something to be proud of. And yet I couldn't be proud of myself. I learned that as long as I'm gay, no one will find it in themselves to be happy for me. If this was my reality then I didn't want to wake up to it. In hindsight, that period of my life was so lonely I wanted nothing more than to sleep forever. To be stuck dreaming good things and stop living in the real world sounded blissful. I was a child then so I wasn't familiar with the word "suicidal," but it's what I felt.

THE PRESENT

Fast forward eleven years later, and life couldn't be any more different. My university diploma hangs gloriously on the wall of my living room, next to my brother's. I wake up to the sound of my parents chatting in the dining room. They ask me what my plans are for the weekend; I tell them I'm driving a couple hours away to visit my partner. They tell me to stay safe and to text me when I get there.

And when I do, we have the whole apartment to ourselves. This time, no one is avoiding sharing the same bed with me. The morning after, we sleep in and drive to the city for brunch. Hands intertwined over the aroma of eggs and coffee, I tell him this: "I never thought this would be possible for me." He tells me he feels the same.

Every local shop, statue, square, and park, we're together. And when I look at my life, I realize I laugh more than I cry these days. I count my loved ones instead of my lost ones. While it's true that having him in my life makes it more fulfilling, it doesn't mean I was an incomplete person prior to the relationship. I'd made the decision to like myself and to enjoy my own company even when I was single. I'd go downtown by myself, visit museums, eat at restaurants, and go on late night drives to various places. The difference between wandering alone as a kid in Quebec and wandering alone as a single adult, is that as a kid I was alone and hated who I was. But as a single adult, I was alone and learned to accept and to appreciate myself. Which means that now that I'm in a relationship, I accept, appreciate, and love myself, and I have someone to accept, appreciate, and love in return. A relationship adds to a person's existence; it does not complete it.

And because I've reached this milestone of self-acceptance, I can revisit that day in my childhood when I won those awards and truly claim that I deserved it, because I did.

I have graduated. Not only from the subject material taught to me in school, but from the experiences I endured as a student there. I've graduated from homophobia, self-hatred, loneliness, exclusion, and bullying. Adults will tell you that school is a place of learning, and if that's the case, I'll tell you that life outside of school is a place of unlearning. Unlearning trauma and unhealthy, destructive ways of thinking. Unlearning the defense mechanisms we had to adopt as children in order to deal with the teachers who didn't enforce respect and the kids who felt entitled to take advantage of their leniency. Unlearning the idea that in order to consider myself as a worthy human being, I needed to be accepted by everyone. If I even have to ask for acceptance, then I'm asking the wrong people.

It's ironic that the place where I experienced such pain is only a five-minute walk away from my childhood home. Whenever I'd drive past, I'd steal a glance searching for the little kid version of myself playing during recess, running around freely, ignorant to the fact that his social world would crumble in a few years. I felt an anticipating doom for that child. Life as he knew it would be no longer. Now whenever I drive by, I don't bother glancing because there's nothing more to look at. I've taken what I needed from that time of my life that was elementary school, acknowledged that it's contributed greatly to how I've developed, retained what was useful and discarded what wasn't, and in doing so, have moved on. There's no need to look back.

That school is like a time capsule of my former world and of the person I used to be. In terms of physical proximity, it's near. But in terms of time, it's as distant as a foreign country. And since I've changed internally by unlearning self-destructive mindsets and habits, my external world has changed too. Although I've lived in the same place for most of my life, it doesn't feel the same because I've changed for the better.

Occasionally, I'll have flashbacks of the bullying that took place on the school's playground. It'll be at random times when I'm making coffee, going to the grocery store, or commuting to work. I'll think back to that tearful night in Quebec as I slept by myself on that large bed and how I wandered alone on the cobblestoned streets during the day. But because it happened a long time ago and because I've changed drastically since, it feels like it happened to a different person entirely. And when I remember that it happened to my younger self, I feel that it was only a bad dream which, while I was in it felt eternal, in reality didn't last long. The longest dream of my life came to an end. I eventually woke up and saw that real life wasn't so bad.

REAL LIFE

"Good morning," my partner says softly. Sunlight enters the window. My eyes adjust to the contours of his face. He asks how I slept.

"I slept well and even dreamed a little," I say.

"Really?"

"Yeah." I run my fingers through his hair, savoring the moment, remembering life wasn't always like this. It took a lot of time, work, and patience. As he's in front of me, I feel joy and nothing else. No guilt, no shame. This is bliss - being in the presence of love, and being in the absence of everything that is not. The things I thought were impossible became possible for me.

"I hope it was a good dream," he says, giving me a kiss.

"It was alright." In his eyes, I see the reflection of the person I grew to love. It's only because I grew to love him that I can love my partner. "But you know what? I'd rather be awake."

THE END