#office files

[preservationofnormalcy]

ITEM FILE #8812

ITEM: "Charon Ferryphone"

ITEM HISTORY: First spotted in 1982, confiscation starting in 1983. Applied Mythology Department provided independent verification devices were designed by psychopomp entity "Charon", constructed and distributed throughout United States by esoteric technology corporation EtherNex Communciations. EtherNex sanctioned and dissolved 1985 following government litigation.

Device is activated by the use of two (2) US Quarters inserted into the coin slot. The user must then enter the name of deceased person on the number pad. Connection with deceased individual will then be attempted. Connection establishment rate was 52%, significantly higher than other occult communication tools available at the time.

When successful, deceased person is always the one intended by the user, even in the likely case of multiple individuals bearing the same name. Connection still follows standard necrocommunications rules: E.G. some individuals cannot be contacted by any means. Entering the name of a non-deceased person results in immediate █████████ ████ ███ █████ ████.

37 devices destroyed, 2 devices in Office Custody, Necrocommunications Department.

EtherNex records indicate 40 devices produced. The location of the final device is unknown.

[huariqueje]

Office   -  Friedel Anderson , 2014.

German,  b. 1954  -  

Oil on canvas , 80 x 80 cm

[loadhaoffset]

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[bluegiragi]

guess who's about to learn all about werewolf tail etiquette

early access + nsfw on patreon

[wearewatcher]

every ghost files live review we see starts with “so i went to the ghost files live show and ryan said” followed by the most unhinged thing imaginable

[suntails]

reality

[hellenhighwater]

hey so how come lawyers like so much PAPER?

sincerely, the person in the copy center who has to print all these goddamn binders

Man, it is the worst. I grew up file clerking for my dad and it was so terrible that I decided I would never be a lawyer. SO much paperwork. Ugh. Horrible.

But also, if you're in trial, you want all of the information in the entire case at your fingertips, and you want to know exactly where every piece of info is--which means that you have it hard copy, because a laptop can glitch or lag or crash but paper abides.

Also, in a lot of circumstances, you need a physical item in order to admit something as evidence, because the court physically marks it with a sticker label. So you print photos, documents...even for video files, you have it on a disc or USB that the court can put its little evidence sticker on. And then, depending on the type of trial, all that evidence may go with a jury into a jury room to look over, and you don't really want to give them a wholeass laptop, because that's just asking for improper non-evidence information to be considered.

And if you're feeling like a jackass when complying with discovery demands, you can give the requested information on physical paper and that's fulfilling the demand (unless it was specifically for digital format) but it's not searchable in the way that a PDF would be--you can't control+F for the info you want, you have to read through reams of paper. Which you should do, for thoroughness, but...it's time consuming. So you can play petty little games and give people hardcopy to make their lives marginally more difficult.

Ultimately though, lawyers just really love deforestation. Fuck them trees.

[moonbeesstuff]

we were robbed of an episode from skinner's pov where he is chained to his desk for a full day with the phone ringing off the hook and superiors and representatives from government agencies busting down his door for unscheduled meeting after unscheduled meeting to complain about mulder and scully's shenanigans. he has needed a bathroom break since 10 am. no one will let him eat his cucumber sandwich in peace.

[acewithapaintbrush]

This is the face of a man who is forced to listen to bullshit, but not allowed to outright call it bullshit

[medicaldoctordana]

How funny is it that there’s 1 (one) office in the FBI basement and it belongs to the spookiest guy in the whole bureau

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2600

Our flag means ghosts. (Dialogue from The Office.)

[i-eat-vinilinum]

Divorce Killed children selfie

he got beat up

[loadhaoffset]

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[dollwithkaleidoscopeeyes]

Do y’all ever not finish a show bc in your weird ass delusional little mind, that means it doesn’t end if you don’t watch the final season?!

[juustozzi]

human study/art session 🍵

there ended up being a lot more background than planned, so here's some detail shots under read more!

personal faves: human world fruit doodles and "wtf is going on in here" storyboards