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yummyuta · 4 months ago

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rivalry retreat | x.j

♡ genre: slight angst & fluff, smut - mdni! | non idol/college wayv | forced proximity | enemies to lovers | word count: 3,939

♡ pairing: xiaojun x f. reader

♡ warnings: clothed grinding, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, creampie, fingering, lots of teasing

♡ summary: xiaojun and reader have a complicated relationship. what could go wrong when their friends invite them on a camping trip where they are determined to get the two of them together.

♡ authors note: late birthday post for xiaojun and first time writing for wayv! summer is ending, so i wanted to do something outdoorsy themed. i hope you enjoy!

♡ song recommendation:

the golden hues of the setting sun bathed the park in a warm glow as you strolled along the winding path, savoring the last few days of summer. the gentle rustling of leaves and the distant laughter of children at play filled the air with a sense of serene nostalgia. you had always loved this time of year, a brief interlude before the hustle of the school year resumed.

as you approached the park’s central gazebo, you saw the familiar faces of your friends. "look who finally decided to show!" hendery, the comedian of the group joked. you playfully rolled your eyes, smacking his arm smiling sweetly at the rest of the boys as you joined them at the table. you had been at home all day when suddenly you got a text with the address of the park and a time, nothing else. "what's the occasion?" you said a hint of confusion in your voice. you were happy to see everyone, but knowing these boys, they always had something up their sleeve.

ten handed you a cup of lemonade. “we were just thinking about how summer is ending and wanted to do something special before school starts."

"im listening," you urged them to continue taking a sip of the drink.

"we’re planning a camping trip next weekend," kun said. he always took charge, being the most organized out of the group. your eyes lit up with enthusiasm, as you immediately chimed in your support for the plan. it had been so long since you had been out to the mountains. you were so caught up in the excitement that you didn’t notice the brief, knowing glances exchanged between your friends.

the next few days flew past, and before you knew it was the weekend. you were riding in the car with kun driving, yangyang in the passenger seat constantly changing the music trying to find something appropriate to listen to, and hendery asleep and drooling on your lap in the backseat. these boys were like the brothers you never had, so you felt more than comfortable having them around for such a long journey. by the time you reached the camp grounds the sun with setting, you could see the faint horizon between the pine trees. you had arrived first, leaping out and stretching your legs before getting to work on setting up. you had just finished putting up your tent when the sound of of tires driving through the dirt alarmed you. that would be ten and winwin, you wondered what had been taking them so long.

they parked, as you all made your way over to greet them when suddenly a third body sprung out from the back seat. your blood started pumping, annoyance, and anger rising up inside of you. how could they bring him?! when he saw you, he scoffed, "really? she's here."

"i should be saying that to you, who invited him?" ten quickly realizing the tension of the situation stepped between to intervene, "lets not do this already. cant you guys play nice for 5 minutes. its been too long since we all were together like this."

you anxiously tapped your feet. you didnt want to fight and ruin the weekend. you were here for your friends, surely it wouldn't be too hard to avoid the man standing in front of you. you made brief eye contact with xiaojun, before backing off and shrugging your shoulders, "ill try to be on my best behavior but i make no promises", you said before walking off and helping hendery collect firewood.

xiaojun stood there watching you for a moment, his stomach churning as he saw hendery put his hand on the small of your back, guiding you through the darkness. "come on xiaojun, you can help with dinner" kun tapped him on the shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

after you all ate, bellies full, and heads slightly spinning from sipping on booze from your flasks, it was time to head to bed. you stumbled into your tent first, cozying up in your sleeping bag. by the time your head hit the pillow, your body instantly relaxing, you were just about to pass out until you heard shouting. "YOU FORGOT YOUR TENT!" kun screeched. you quickly unzipped your tent before going out to see what the commotion was. you saw xiaojun pointing his finger at kuns chest as they were in each others faces. "i thought i was sharing with someone. that's what you told me!" he yelled back. "y/n has room, i guess you could bunk with her." yangyang chimed in.

all eyes went to you, your jaw nearly hanging to the ground. "no no no, he can sleep out here with the bears for all i care. theres no way this is happening!" it was one thing to deal with being around him in a group, but in such close contact, you surely would kill each other. "oh come on y/n we are all tired, hendery and yangyang are sharing, so are winwin and ten and i only have a single person tent. this is the only way it works." kun pleaded with you. always the bargainer that one. it almost felt like the universe was working against you. seriously, first they dont say anything about him showing up, and now he conveniently doesn't have a place to stay it felt so calculated, but surely this was just bad karma or something. again, not wanting to be a buzzkill you gave in. walking back to your tent, crawling in, and leaving it open as an invitation for xiaojun.

you heard murmured "goodnights" and "sweet dreams" as everyone went off to sleep, leaving you and xiaojun back to back, chests heaving in a mix of anxiety and frustration. "for the record, i didn't know you were going to be here, i wouldn't have come otherwise." you finally decided to speak to him. the tension in there was suffocating. it was silent for a few moments. "i'll find a way to bribe hendery into switching tomorrow night. surely you would be faaaar more cozy with him, " he huffed. you turned around, feeling his gaze on you. "what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" he couldnt have been insuiting what you thought. and even if you and hendery were a thing, what business is it to him? he is the very last person on earth who should be sticking his nose in your dating life. "dont play dumb, i know all about his little crush on you, although i dont get what exactly he sees in you. he could do far better," he smirked. this is exactly what xiaojun did, always pushing your buttons.

you and him had a complicated history. you had known each other since high school and he always needed to be the best in everything. he was your rival, he also dated your ex best friend, and turned her against you. in college you finally thought you got away from him. that is until one day, you were eating lunch with yangyang and hendery and suddenly yangyang waved someone over to your table.

"xiaojun, long time no see! how have you been?"yangyang greeted his friend. it couldn't be him, not your xiaojun, right? you turned, and your worst fears were in front of you. quickly getting up and running away before anyone had a chance to question you. although your friends loved you, they had connections with him long before you even were around, and you ultimately had to come to respect that. you couldn't afford to lose them.

you snapped out of the memory, xiaojuns sick gaze still on you, "cat got your tongue," he said, breath hot on your face. it wasn't even worth it to argue with him. giving him a reaction is exactly what he wanted anyway. you were determined to be the bigger person, so you turned back around and screwed your eyes shut as tight as possible, hoping you would wake up from this nightmare as soon as possible. you felt him shift behind you, leaning over you for a minute, you peeked your eyes open, just as his hand was hovering over the switch of the lantern that was by your side. "looks like your fire is dying out." he remarked as he turned off the light before leaning back on his side. "you are an asshole" you mumbled under your breath. he lowly chuckled "or not" was the last thing you heard before finally drifting off to sleep. this was going to be a long trip.

morning came quicker than you had hoped. as you began to rise, you felt something poking against your back. you moved slightly, a groan emmiting from behind you. xiaojun moved this time, up and down his clothed cock pressed on your ass. sighs and whimpers emmiting from his lips. he actually sounded kinda cute all worked up like this. "y/n...just like that" he whispered, voice a bit raspy yet still high pitched. you sat there letting him use you for his own pleasure, orgasm rising in him. you felt your thighs stick together slightly, you cant believe you were kinda getting turned on by this. it was wrong but it gave you power back.

you shook your hips moving in tandem with him. you imagined what he could have been dreaming about. you thought of him lifting your leg slightly, sliding your bottoms off and slipping his tip in, while his hand snuck around to play with your clit or tits. his moans getting louder freed you from the moment. it took you a few seconds to realize before you leapt up from the ground. eyes wide as you saw xiaojuns still sleeping form. now shuddered in disjust that you were so close to him, and at the fact he couldn't control his...manlihood. you ran out of the tent, ten, kun and winwin already gathered around the campfire starting breakfast. "shes alive!" ten came up to hug you, smoothing out your bed head. "the question is, did xiaojun make it through the night or did she smother him with a pillow?" winwin chimed in. you fake laughed, your suffering was being used as entertainment for the weekend.

at the mention of his name, xiaojun stumbled out of the tent. "speak of the devil," you went to hide behind kuns figure. hugging him tightly, digging your face in his back. being your safe place was his job, it was the least he could do after putting you in this position. he chuckled as you squeezed his stomach, "you know you dont actually have anything to worry about right?" he said grabbing your hands and pulling you in front of him. "you dont know that!" you sulked, "his mission is to make my life a living hell im certain of it" you pointed a finger accusingly at him before adding, "and YOU are not helping!" you stomped away, not wanting to hear a lecture. you felt xiaojuns eyes burning holes through your backside as you made your back into the tent to get ready for the day ahead.

after you had your fill of breakfast, you hiked your way over to the lake, carrying your towels, beach chairs, and a cooler filled with plenty of alcoholic refreshments, which you would be needing lots of if you were going to survive a day around xiaojun. your plan was simple to avoid him at all costs by soaking up the sun and sipping on wine coolers. however, he clearly had other plans.

as you took your swim cover off, revealing your bikini hendery and yangyang whistled and cheered. the catcalling came with hanging out with a bunch of horny teenage boys you were used to it. xiaojun rolled his eyes at them, "so immature," he thought. you went to sit down on your lounge chair when a figure blocked you taking your spot. you scoffed, "seriously, what is your problem?!" xiaojun outstretched his legs, shielding his eyes with his sunglasses as he smirked at you, "there's no problem." you were already getting fed up, moving to push him off when he grabbed your wrist, yanking you towards his face, "dont you dare try that again, " he scolded. your mind was screaming at him to let you go, yet your body stilled. your chest pressed slightly against his own as your eyes flew quickly around the feautures of his face. his deep brown eyes, strong brows and jawline, curved pink lips. he was actually not nauseating to look at when he wasn't pissing you off.

the sound of splashing broke you out of your trance. "sorry..." you mumbled to the man in front of you. your walls crumbling down, it was like he had lit a fire in you for a moment that couldn't be sustained and quickly died out. you broke away from him. you suddenly felt woozy, as you made your way to a spot in between winwin and ten. "you alright?" winwin asked quietly. he wasnt the most talkative amongst your friends but he was kind nonetheless, and honestly that energy was exactly what you needed right now. "not exactly...but dont worry", you replied. he smiled sadly at you before tapping your bare knee in remorse. he knew this entire plan was a bad idea, and he felt bad now for not speaking up sooner.

hours had passed, you were engrossed in your book, finally feeling at peace admist the chaos. moments like this, you realized this trip wasn't all that bad, and it could be redeemed. that lasted all of five minutes before hendery was screeching at you to come in the water. you shook your head, putting your foot down, and attempted to focus on your book. all of a sudden, a pair or arms wrapped under your knees lifting you off the ground and carrying you bridal style. you dropped your book, lifting your sunglasses as your body thrashed around in the mans arms. you looked up, eyes adjusting to the light, trying to make out who was holding onto you so tightly. you were thrown into the water, holding your breath as your head sank under the water for a few seconds.

when you popped up, gasping for air, you were met with the horror of xiaojun in front of you. you turned around in adversion, as you saw yangyang swimming out of the lake with hendery. you watched from the distance as kun, ten and winwin packed up. they were leaving you! with your nemesis. it all clicked fully to you now that this was their plan all along. well you weren't playing around and you attempted to swim back to the dock. xiaojun quickly caught up to you, catching your hand under the water squeezing tightly, "wait!" you whipped your head around. "is this seriously some kind of sick joke? did you put them up to this?!" you accused. you were infuriated, rage coursing through your veins. he sat there stunned, as you tore into him with your words. "you know i thought maybe one day you would grow up, but you are still the same old miserable boy, who has nothing better to do than torment me! was taking away my best friend and destroying my high school years, not enough for you? seriously, how long do you plan on treating me like this?!" all your thoughts busted out of you. you felt defeated and tired.

you continued to ramble on until your chest gave out. breathing unsteady as you kept yourself afloat. "are you done now?" xiaojun asked. you just stared in his eyes, a spark still apparent you just nodded. "good" he remarked before grasping your hip, pulling you closer to him and crashing his lips to yours. you balled up your fists, punching his chest, but to your suprise, the kiss ignited a feeling in your stomach. it wasn't wrath, and you didn't want to believe it, but it was lust. you weren't thinking, your lips moving on their own, as your body began to relax. his tongue poked its way into your mouth as you wrapped your legs around his waist, his hands grabbing your ass to keep hold of you. you dont know how he was capable of kissing you so feverishly while also making his way over to the dock. he lifted you up by the waist setting you down on the ledge, fingers gliding down the inside of your thighs. you finally broke away from him, as he continued to roam your body, "quit teasing me, jerk" you sighed, "quit being a brat, babe" he smirked.

it took everything in you to resist slapping him, you had no idea what you were doing you just were done with all the pent up stress. if it was caused by your enemy surely it was his responsibility to take care of it. he slipped his middle finger in you, slowly moving it in and out. it wasnt enough, you rocked back and forth but he stopped. "beg for it" he demanded. you couldnt believe this, "come on, for once in your god damn life be nice to me, you owe me that much!" you pleaded. that seemed to be good enough for him and he moved again, adding in his index finger this time. his pace was inconsistent, bringing you to the edge just to take it away from you again. he looked at you with his mouth wide open, he had you in the palm of his hands...literally. this is all hes wanted for longer than he would like to admit.

to tell the truth, he liked you plain and simple. he was jealous of your friend so he took her away from you hoping you would retaliate and finally see him. he didnt think that plan out very well though. so after highschool he moved to plan b, that day at the park he was going to start over, apologize to you, but the minute you saw him and ran, he knew this would be a much bigger challenge. at the time the boys didnt want to get involved, afraid you would disown them all if you found out. it wasnt until they saw the obvious deep rooted desire and longing from both sides that they decided to take matters into their own hands. xiaojun had caught on the moment he was invited he just refrained from saying anything silently putting his trust in their plan.

he was aware of what he did that morning and how you reacted to it, he picked up on the hint you may have shared his feelings earlier on the beach chair as well. now it was his turn to take control. for the final time he sped his fingers inside you curling them repeatedly. your moans echoing through the forest. you were close to your peak when this time you pulled him up to meet him in a feverish kiss. you whined out a "fuuuckkkk" into his mouth as you released all over his slender fingers.

he removed your bottoms fully, before pulling you back into the water. you were standing on your tip toes, back pressed against one of the wooden poles of the dock. tongues fighting for dominance when you felt his cock pressed against you once again causing you to shudder but in pleasure this time. "fuck me" you urged him. "whats the magic word?" you rolled your eyes. you knew he wanted you badly yet he still insisted on messing around with you. "put it in...NOW" you growled. he stared you down, not budging "use your manners, pretty girl" you wanted to put up a fit, but your legs were twitching, growing more incredibly sexually frustrated the more you denied yourself. you looked up at him, water droplets sliding down your face, dragging a hand down palming him through his swim trunks. "pretty please with a cherry on top, fuck me," you emphasized.

he quickly rid himself of his shorts tossing them next to yours before hiking a leg up and grinding against your core once more. you closed your eyes getting lost in the feeling, he was a tease but you loved it. "hold on tight" he said before slamming into you. you gasped throwing your head back as it banged slightly against the dock. the water swaying around you as he thrusted deeply into your pussy. you couldnt stand up on one leg anymore so you repositioned your self, bringing your other one up to instinctively wrap around his waist. you let out a shrill scream when his cock hit your gspot causing you to clench around him. his dick twitched inside you as he let out a "shit baby, you like how i fuck you?" you only let out more sounds at his words. he kept running his mouth, smacking into you. he let out everything, the filthiest words. it only made you wetter, even though you were already submerged in the lake.

you were rapidly approaching your second orgasm, closing your eyes keeping yourself together as you choked out sobs. his hold on you was unbreakable. xiaojun used as much force as he could, fighting the currents of the lake and his own impending pleasure. you had to admit it to yourself at this point. maybe a part of yourself had always craved his touch. ever since you met him you were filled with this undeniable passion although it manifested itself in a strange way.

he was forceful, nails biting into your ass as he held you down onto his cock. the sun was setting, glistening on you both. wet hair flipping in the air, as he vigioursly filled you up. "xiaojun please" was all you could make out. your mind was going blank, you couldnt care about the past anymore. all that mattered was that he was satisfying you in a way you could have never even dreamed of. the dam finally broke, as xiaojun kissed you and said "look at me and cum." you let yourself go completely, your cum mixing with his as he dripped out of you. you stayed in his arms, finding a newfound solace in them.

you werent sure if you trusted yourself to speak. "im sorry" xiaojun confessed. "ive been horrible to you, but if you give me the chance, i like you and would like to start showing you that." his cheeks flushed pink, a small adorable smile appearing om his face. behind his harsh deamenor he had a sweet and cute side. "you dont know how long ive waited to hear those words" you quietly said smiling back at him. "call a ceasefire?" you asked putting your hand out for his to shake. "you win" he said pulling you into a heartwarming kiss.

as you made your way back to the campsite, hand in hand, you made eye contact with the rest of your friends. "holy shit our plan actually worked!" hendery exclamained, high fiving yangyang. "i never thought id see the day" ten said, wiping a fake tear from his eye. you looked over at xiaojun, impressed that your friends could actually organize a scheme like this. "i told you they had arranged this" he said casually, kissing you on the cheek, and dragging you to your tent before any of them could bombard the two of you with questions. the night was filled with your soft sighs, and words of confession as you made amends with your enemy turned lover.

#yummyuta #wayv smut #xiaojun smut #wayv hard hours #nct smut #nct hard hours

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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 8 months ago

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Hey so. its been a while. I havent had a lot of energy these past few weeks and when I did I didnt really wanna spend that energy on this bad book series, but its the weekend and its been wayyyy too long and I need to finish ACOMAF before shit starts falling out of my sieve of a brain. As always, I am motivating myself with the prospect of contuining to work on a proshot of the takarazuka production elisabeth after this, the 2014 flower troupe one specifically ^-^ or maybe I'll watch a fucked up black and white movie from the 20s thats two and a half hours long, we'll see

Today we're reading chapter 53, the precursor to The most infamous chapter 54. Im not gonna lie, I kinda forgot most of what happened last time. There was a mate reveal, Rhysand was being really pathetic which made him hot to me for the first time in about 600 pages of me knowing him, Feyre was super pissed so they sent her to the mountain cabin to cool off a bit and paint, i think thats it

is it just me or is it kinda weird that Feyre is fantasizing about green grass and flowers and flowing rivers when the NC so far has been defined by being a very wintery place. Like yeah, obviously they have seasons in the solar courts but like, theres a lot of mountains which means a lot of snow, its the most nothern court etc

And Feyre didnt like winter in the first book because she associated it with bad times at the cabin so that makes sense but idk. I feel like if youre retconning her so much already you could easily wrie something about how she actually likes winter now that she has the power to withstand it or something but no, sure, have her fantasize about very spring-y weather in the book where the spring court gets demonized to hell and back why not

'[Rhysand] would give me the money for my shop, for what I was offering would cost nothing. Maybe I would sell my paintings to pay him back the money. Because I wanted to do that under any corcumstance, soulmates or not.' I was gonna write something snarky about Feyre in ACOSF but then it hit me that shes never going to have financial independance from Rhysand ever again and now Im just sad and anxious for her

(sry, im too lazy to translate this whole paragraph rn) '[Rhysand and I would do a bunch of fun stuff that couples do.] Never again someones slave or whore.' Its so wild to me that shes saying all this about the guy who made her his slave and whore MULTIPLE TIMES AT THIS POINT. like hey sarah, do you think your readers dont remember all that? do you think constantly calling back to it will make them forget somehow

Ive seen some people describe this book as gaslighting and honestly, its not even that its just lying. this story is just a bunch of lies that keep contradicting or otherwise disturbing eachother because the person telling it isnt even a good liar

Okayyyyy this chapter was a lot shorter than anticipated can you tell i dont plan these out at all but i dont feel like doing more than this and also while I was reading i got a really good idea for an Anastasia AU for a different fandom im in and I keep getting distracted and I wanna start working on it as soon as possible. And also, I'd like to be focused when I finally read that most infamous of chapters, thank you and good afternoon

#flames and darkness liveblog #anti acomaf #anti sjm

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markets · 9 months ago

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what happened with the ex bf that in the timespan of a week you’re not even friends? cool if you don’t wanna share but i’m just curious and we both know you like oversharing

"we both know you like oversharing" HEEELP I LOVE YOU ANON. idk if ive blogged about this before but basically inn like december i came to terms wih the fact that my ex and i wouldnt get back together and decided to just focus on being friends. however in late january my then-friend told me that he had told her that he had been thinking of getting back together with me for about a month, over the span of like three weeks maybe she told me a bunch of things he'd say about me and what he was thinking of doing. then we went on a trip for this math competition and flirted so heavily, i wonnt go intto dettails but it got to the point where this other guy there fully tthoughtt we were together, i also heard some things he was saying about me from my then-friends ex boyfriend who i had been good friends with since they started dating. the most relevant one is him saying that things were good but he couldnt let himself like me which what the fuck.

however at that poinnt my then-friend blew up at her ex for being close friends with me even though she is close with MY ex (And very fucking annoying about it mind you. think "omg stoooop give me my phone back") and id never said anything about it to either of them (except for when i nicely asked her her to be less touchy with him in my vicinity back in december aka peak trenches and she said she would and then didnt do it). her ex would point this hypocrisy out to her but i told him to be careful cuz i could see her twisting that against me and making it out to seem like i was jealous of her and my ex.

THat becomes relevant in a moment but it wasnt relevant at the time, the flirting tapered off as soon as we got back home but i was so very confused and really wanted to ask him about it. however college decisions were close to coming out and i didntt want to add more stress to everything he was dealing with (i was not stressed because of the wonders of early decision #roll******) so i decided to wait around a month. in that time he started pulling away a little more and i chalked it up to some other things in his personal llife but still got second thoughts about asking about the whole thing, eventually i decided to do it but make it clear i was askinng for the sake of our friendship and my own sense of idk closure for everything that had happened back then since i doubted anythting romantic would come of it (though it was still a hope i had) but i could see our friendship suffering because of it.

this weekend i asked him about it and he basically denied all feelings for me even back then which i knew wasnt true and said he that he hadnt felt comfortable being my friend for a while knowing i still saw him romantically (which he only knew because he flirted with me AND I FLIRTED BACK). He also cited the deterioration of my friendship with that onne girl and its effects on his friendships with her as a reason why he didnt want to be my friend even though i have played nice with her and the whole reason why i do not like her is her hypocrisy and selfishness and horrible treatment of her ex boyfriend and not the fact that shes friends with MY ex

So yeah lol. had i known this last weekend i wouldve said fuck it and flirted with that guy BUT WELL!!!!!!!!!! I was crushed for some time and still sort of am but who cares honestly. Soon i will graduate and none of these cunts will ever see me again

#angieanswers.txt #long post

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thoughts-and-all-that · 9 months ago

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you gave me the best weekend of my life, you know.

my dad was going on a business trip in a state that was right next to yours, though i remember it still took you guys 5 hours to drive to the city, and 9 hours for me and my family. isnt it crazy how big this country is? we arent even on the larger half of it, either.

when i first saw you, i was scared. i was paranoid and young, and you were the first person from online i had ever met in person, despite my years of befriending people online. im glad it was you. it couldnt have ever been anyone else.

i was scared maybe i was lied to, that somehow it wasnt you, but i knew it was. i was a scared mentally ill kid and i was in the beginnings of something we both know got worse, and ill never stop being sorry for how i treated you when it did. you never deserved that, and it was never your fault. i shouldnt have done what i did, i shouldnt have.

i remember that first while was awkward, but itd be weird if it wasnt, right?

our first stop had to have been the bird sanctuary, i believe. so many birds of all kinds, and there was even bats! both of our favorite animals in one building, though i dont think the specific breeds we loved. that was okay. it was my first and only time seeing my favorite animal in person, it was amazing.

i remember there was a flying simulator in there, a both high budget and low budget game, if that makes sense. i mean, we had to lay on a t shaped person sized controller, which was wild! but the actual graphics of the cityscape we were meant to fly through were low quality. it was amazing. i remember you crashed, but i didnt. ive always dreamt of being able to fly.

and i remember that the penguin habitat had a dome in the middle that people could climb through a small tunnel into, and we were in there together, and looking at the penguins.

it mustve been that night that you came back to my hotel room, and we watched my favorite show on the couch, using my much too expensive laptop. i remember the deal we made that i didnt keep up my end of, where we watched eachothers favorite shows. im sorry i didnt like yours. i was glad you loved mine.

i dont remember if we saw eachother for most of the next day, i hope we did. the timeline blurs for me, but thats okay, because the timeline isnt what matters.

the boat ride matters. i know i wasnt originally meant to go on it with you guys, but i hope you think of it fondly like i do regardless.

i didnt like really any of the food they put in front of us, but thats not new for me. it only mattered in that single moment when it happened. when dinner was over and everyone was free to go about the boat, we mustve seen so much of it.

your mom and my mom were talking the whole time, trying to keep an eye on us, and taking pictures of us. i hope my mom enjoyed the boat ride, she didnt get to have many experiences like that the last few years of her life. i hate that that only happened 3 years before she died, and its been almost 6 years for me. time is a curse.

we kept trying to avoid them at the time, of course. we were teenagers on a trip away from our homes on a boat ride together down a river, we didnt want our moms watching us. we had to keep traveling about until they finally stopped watching, and it led us to sitting on the top deck, staring off of into the beautiful night lights of that mountain city.

i even remember that at some point the announcer pointed out an abandoned asylum against the river, and we thought it was one that was featured on our favorite ghost hunting show, though i now believe that it wasnt, as when i tried to find it later, i couldnt find that episode. i love the excitement we had, though.

we talked so much, in our special way. i remember i even asked you such a silly question, if people could walk on water when time is stopped. they definitely cant, but we made a whole thing of it.

we even kissed a few times.

at some point we traveled back to the main hall, and it was empty except for the guy in charge of the music. we cuddled together on a seat against the window, watching the city go by. i remember i had you ask if he had any songs from one of my favorite artists, though he only had her most popular song, which i guess makes sense.

i dont think my mom wouldve been upset if she had seen us, but i know your mom wouldve been. does she still not know youre queer? she doesnt need to know, anyway.

you had to go back home after that night, and thats okay. i missed you so much when you did, and all i did for the remainder of the trip was sit in my hotel room and play on my laptop.

maybe its simple looking back, maybe youve had better times since, but for me it was everything. it still is, but only because ive never had better.

i still think of you when i hear breakup songs and think of relationships, even though we never dated. never the angry ones, i promise.

i know youve moved on, and im glad you have. youve been with him for a while, and i hope that means he treats you well. you deserve to be treated well.

i havent moved on because ive been stuck in the past in so many ways for years. when you started talking to me again a few months ago, it drove me insane for the first few weeks, but ive gotten better since. ive been dealing with my past a lot lately, trying to heal.

not heal from you, of course. you never did really anything to hurt me, it was all me. there was only one thing you ever said, but it was my fault it even came up. i know you dont even feel that way anymore.

i feel bad for my future partners, i wonder if they can even top that, honestly. i hope they do, because it would be weird if i constantly compared them to a relationship i had when i was a teenager, but i just wonder. i also dont want to have peaked back then.

but really, regardless of all of that, im glad it happened. ive had good memories and ive had tons of bad, but you gave me my best. youre the person ive been closest to in my life, ever. we arent close anymore, and we never can be again the way we used to be, but thats okay. as long as youre happy, thats okay. i hope i can be happy too.

thank you. for everything.

#personal #i dont want my memory to be lost to time #i want my memory to be immortal. to last forever

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diah-the-demon · 1 year ago

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yeah this really feels like we're somewhere on stage talking into a microphone as people pass by and can listen, but yeah agreed, it feels weird when it's not tumblr skljdlsk

ooh I hope you can go there then!! I've had one in my area for a few years that was star wars, star trek and doctor who focused and it was so much fun,, unfortunately with covid coming around it has ended </3 missing it greatly

and oh no D: yeah unfortunately the kids toys break so easily which surprises me ngl,,, you'd expect kids toys to be a bit more sturdy given that kids will play around with it wildly and ksljdslk omg that sounds adorable ngl!! I think I know which masks you mean, I still see kids wearing them every now and then around halloween or carnival

yeah,,, I've gottten a tiny bit better by now (and by that I mean: I will get it but feel bad about it instead of not getting it and feeling sad about that klsjdlsk) I hope you'll eventually get better with it as well! it's so sad how much stuff like this can linger on your brain TT-TT

yeah I think it said 7 more days, so I hope I'll have enough time bcs her shedule changed and now she's at work so I can't ask her TT-TT hopefully it'll last til the weekend when we could order it (if she says yes skldjslk I doubt she wouldn't but still skjdlsk)

okay, yeah, your bookshelf is definitely already cool! But yeah the helmets are going to make it even better, no matter where exactly they will be placed klsdjl

yeah you coudl probably figure it out on your own once you get the basics, even if it is for another set of armor at first! With the basic understanding that should definitely be doable!!

and hmm, I've not build armor yet myself (will have to do so eventually tho,,, I wanna cosplay one of HI3 Himekos battlesuits after all ksjdsl) but it does already sound like a solid idea!! but yeah until you know if it works or not you have an idea at least so that's a good start!

yeah im still not used to it but i think its quite nice to have smth like a constant conversation like this thats lasted almost a full day now jdsljkds, i think its a nice change of pace jdsklkjds

hopefully i can get there when its being held! im not sure when it happens each year but il look that up later and see if i can find dates (hopefully im not gonna be busy when it happens dsjlkkdsj) and awww that sucks, i hope they come back eventually it would suck if it died off forever </3

yeah idk why they were so fragile, they weren't big so i think they were probably childrens sized ones that we had, it doesnt make much sense to expect kids to not hit 2 lightsabers together in a duel like come on

IT WAS! i dont think i have any pictures of it sadly </3 i wouldnt have even had a phone yet probably i think so pictures would probably be on my mums phone

the mask was so cool, it even had a voice changer in it! it was fucking awesome, when you breathed it would replace it with the darth vader breathing sound AND it would even make you sound like vader when you spoke!! idk how something from when i was a kid was able to do something like that but it was awesome. sadly the voice changer in it died a while ago, it still slightly worked but not consistently last time i put it on D:

yeah hopefully we both fully get over it eventually, i probably start to until either her or i move out, but yeah its so weird how it stick in your head so long, i need to refresh my brain so i can get it out lkdsjdjsl

dont want to make you feel like you need to do it sooner but it said 7 days yesterday and also today.. i didnt check how long it was when i bought my stuff (i bought the stuff on the 5th) but it might've been 7 days still.. altho i guess by the weekend it would still be 7 days after that.. hopefully it is still on by the time you talk to her!! (just checked and it might be going on until they completely sell out?? its a clearance sale so maybe? idk id probably do it sooner rather than later just incase tho)

Oh btw when you do place your order they will email you to verify the card (send a picture of the last 4 digits to confirm. It is a little bit sus but ive seen no one say this one is a scam so i dont think it is, plus they cant rlly do much with only the last 4 digits)

thank you!! it will def look so much cooler when i get the helmets in! still need to figure out where i can put the 2 extras apart from ontop of the bookshelf cause too many on there doesnt seem too good idk

yeah that sounds like the plan il do for this, try the basics, might try doing clone trooper armour to begin with if its not harder than mandalorian cause il have captain rex's helmet! imagine a female clone trooper tho that'd be so cool (totally not so i can check out her tits shush jdskls, i mean there was a female clone of jango but she isnt a trooper, and is a child since i dont think she had the accelerated growth the others did? idk not that caught up in that bit of lore)

i think its probably what they are going to say to do, i doubt they would stitch/pin it right to the bodysuit cause that would be a pain to take off (imagine having to go to the toilet after putting it on that would be so annoying to take off skdjdslkj) if it all goes well il share the progress so you can take some tips on building the armour for himeko jlsdkdjs!!

#lexy!

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yaoischolar · 1 year ago

Text

tw for some c/s/a talk i guess

mostly im just putting this here because i get to ramble a bit more than i do through twitter ... though it feels kind of ridiculous to wail about this online to strangers, i've always found solace in that, haven't i?

i had a really really difficult therapy session last thursday that kind of left me picking up a lot of shattered pieces of my childhood. i casually mentioned to her that i have the passing thought now and then that i was sexually abused as a child, but i never press on it because i've always had so much going on otherwise. but for once i let myself press since i was safe enough to do so. and i just.

how do you deal with something you have no memory of, but all of the scars remain? how do you just have a realization like this and try to continue life as normal? i feel like i've always had clear "before" and "after" moments in my childhood wrt traumatic events, but now that clarity has completely shattered, because there was never a real before. there was just always an after. and you don't even remember what happened— theres only signs pointing to that direction, leading you down the road only to open up to a giant pit that you can't fathom going down right now.

i've always known what sex was. i could basically reenact it as a child. i let the neighbor boy lock me in a closet with himself while he tried to "make out" with me and i just sat there and didnt move, and just accepted that until the door was finally opened and i could leave. i let a girl at daycare show me a hiding spot where she could touch my vaginal area and i could touch hers, but then once it was done, she threatened to tell all of the teachers on me. ive always had a fixation on romance and the physical aspects of a romantic relationship even if i never "fully" understood— since i was a young child, all the way to being a teenager.

when i discovered masturbation i felt so fucking ashamed and guilty. i could never penetrate myself until i started having sex later on in life, but penetrative sex has usually had a very sharp, stabbing pain deep inside of me that i always did my best to ignore because maybe eventually it could go away. (sometimes it does, sometimes it's there.) oral sex is completely off the table. it's always induced a kind of nausea in me to think about performing it at all.

i don't know who could have done it. i always left my aunt and uncles house in tears after spending weekends there as a child, and i don't remember any of those weekends. my uncle has had a weird fixation on me since i was young. last year during the holidays, as i was leaving with my wife, he was really drunk. he grabbed me and all i felt was a sense of panic. he grabbed my face and it was terrifying, watching him lean down like he was gonna kiss me directly only to turn my head at the last second and kiss my cheek. and then he says "you know i love you, right?"

but then theres the fact my siblings had friends in and out of the house a lot. i hung out with boys older than me when my mom brought me along to see her friends. i would be left alone unsupervised with them a lot. my parents have always been convinced im dramatic and a liar.

i never really understood that i was a person until i was nearly 10. i always viewed my life as never my own. i was just a puppet for someone to watch on tv, i even remember sitting there imagining a group of men were watching my life play out on the tv while i took a bath as a very young child. i know i blocked a lot of pieces out, and my brain really cherrypicks memories, but something isn't adding up. something isn't right.

i waffle on this and my mom's voice lives in my head telling me i'm making this up. but if i was making this up, would my body have such a visceral reaction? i spent the entire night after my therapy session wide awake replaying every moment i could remember from my childhood. i've felt so fucking bad and listless since thursday. the only moments i feel grounded are when i have the company of others. when im alone or quiet my brain always comes back to this now. if i try to press on any one memory that i think could be a hint, i feel dizzy and heavy all at once. i've read countless articles and reddit posts and posts here just to make sense of everything. i get worried i never showed the extreme symptoms, but i certainly had depression and anxiety before i was even an adolescent.

sex was a very carefully avoided subject in my house. it was never brought up, and my family worked double time to ensure i wouldn't see suggestive content of any kind. i was sitting with my siblings once while they were watching a movie where two girls end up making out, and right when it started happened, i was shuffled out of the room immediately. i wasnt allowed to really enjoy pre-teen or teenage media of any kind until... i don't know? one day they kind of stopped trying to hide it. but sex was still never brought up to me. always avoided. i was never asked if i was having sex as a teenager. never asked if i messed around with any friends. i was still always free to sleep over at friends houses when i was in elementary school, but i really only ever had one friend i was consistently sleeping over at, and when i was a teenager our sleepovers were in large groups.

this post has no real direction. i like to treat this like a diary sometimes. i know if i have it here im not just exaggerating how badly i've been doing over the last few days, and if i doubt how much it's affected me down the line, i have this to fall back on. i have therapy again on thursday. i have a lot of things to unpack. i know eventually i may uncover something i've kept hidden in me for a long time. there's a strange relief to know i'm not just someone who's kind of always had a weird, poor relationship with sex and my body— my body remembers. even if i don't, my body does, and it's always tried to tell me.

but now i have so much to reckon with. im finally safe enough in my life that i can process these emotions, yeah. sure. how do i deal with the idea that there's never really not been sexual trauma within me? how do i deal with the fact that one of the worst things that can happen to a child happened to me, and if i said anything to my family right now, i would be called a liar? how do i deal with the fear that people doubt my claims on this since i dont have memory of it happening?

i'll be ok. i know i will be. i have a good support system in place. i just wish that i had a chance as a child. i never had one. nobody gave me one. all the brief moments of love i felt from my family feel so empty now. what do they know that i don't?

#txt #god i feel like suchhhhh a babyyyyy but my therapist said im not allowed to describe myself that way #so i shant #but just know that it is nerve wracking

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fredsullysullivan · 2 years ago

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Hey, look! It’s [FREDERICK “SULLY” SULLIVAN] at [ADVENTURE CENTER]. Did you know they [WORKS] there as a [OWNER]? I guess they’re from [MIAMI FLORIDA] and have been in town for [2 YEARS], living in [PRIMROSE HEIGHTS]. I also heard they’re a little [COCKY], but also very [CHARMING] which definitely makes sense. [ starr | 30 | PST | she/her ]

Grew up in Mami his family ran tour company so he grew up in and on the water doing tours.

Worked as teenager his families company and started to captain finishing boats and whale watching boats for tourists.

Had the proper training and schooling to work become a captain of large ships.

Got a job on cruise ship at 23 and worked his way up the bridge keeping each level of the job a year or two before he worked his way up the ranks.

Became captain of his first ship at 35 a few years younger then most do become.

His first ship was one out of Mami that went to the islands for the weekend and came back. Soon enough he worked his way around the world on different ships.

He traveled the world on his ships and loved every moment of it, he has been to pretty much every major country you can visit via a ship and others he had traveled too on his own free time.

Got married a few years into working on ship they didnt date long before they got married and his first child came soon after they got married. But they barley lasted two years of being married since he was gone.

5 years later he met another women they dated two years got married a year before they had their second child they lasted 3 years before him being gone to much lead to the divorce.

Was a cruise ship captain for 25 years and retired at 50 and bought the local adventure center once he saw it was for sale it’s why he came to town and he loves it.

Sully grew up in Miami Florida so he was always up in and around the water. He was on a boat from the time he was born with his family. That they always loved to sail and go on adventures. Since they were in a tourist city his family made money off of them. Taking them on boat tours and other types of adventures/activities that helped you enjoy Florida.

It caused Sully to grow up doing a bunch of everything. He was riding bikes, driving boats and more. He learned to live for the thrill of things and always would try to do anything. But he had love of the water and learned to sail any ship or boat he could get a hold of. As teenager he started to do his own boat tours of Miami.

He knew of the many cruise ships that came and went from Miami all the time and would watch them and wonder what it was like. Once he was teenager he knew it was what he wanted to do. He worked his way up doing every step you did need. Mostly captaining a lot of different types of boats and ships along with going to school and getting the proper training.

It was years of hard work before he was able to land his first job on a cruise ship. It was one of the lower ranks on the bridge of a cruise ship and worked his way up over the years. Spending a few years on one cruise ship and going to another for a few years as he worked his way up the ranks. He was thirty five when he first got to captain his first ship a smaller one out of Miami.

The years went on he worked as he captained one ship to another every few years. That lead him to travel the world and see pretty much every party of it. Using port days to see the counties he visited and go on adventures. He loved every moment of it and enjoyed his time at sea.

But as he got older his family was always tired of him always being away since he was gone pretty much all year long. That he never was home that long and never ended up settling down for good and having a family on his own like a normal family should.

He had been married twice before to women he had met along the way having a kid with each of them, but him being gone always never made it work out for him. But the past few years he remained single and happy. He retired after nearly 20 years at sea as captain but over 25 years at sea with other jobs.

He retired right before he turned 50 after he found a adventure center was for sale. He knew it was something he could still love to do and have fun with but also slow down with. At times Sully still has hard time staying in one place he’s bit of all action sort of man but he’s enjoying his new life.

quick facts to be added back later

#about me x

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rommahh · 4 years ago

Text

I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break. Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two

#harry styles x reader #frat!harry #i carry your heart #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #college!harry #part 2 coming soon #harry styles smut #fratrry #boyfriend!harry

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nhyckdcxx · 3 years ago

Text

Neighborhood

Characters: Vernon! x reader!neighbor

Genre: smut/fluff

Words: 2.008k

warning:unprotectedsex, blowjob, kitchensex, fingering,kinky,foreplay,riding,intimate

Summary: Vernon is your neighbor since you move into your new unit. You can always see him but never talked to him. An incident led you to ask for his help and casually having a thing that is not expected.

A/N: another memberxreader prompt piece I made. Inspired by the Attaca teaser photos I crazily thinksss. I cant sleep. Well, anyways hope u enjoy this one! ;))

————

It was weekend. You are already finishing all of your house chores and started to prepare for your dinner.

You went to check what it was, only to find out that your heater is broken.

"Oh.shit.. why is it now??ugh!." You groaned in frustration.

You immediately called the maintenance of your building but unfortunately, there is no maintenances at the moment that could assist you.

"The hell with this. What should i do?."

You called some of your friends, some of them didn't pick up. Well, its a weekend.. maybe that's why..

You suddenly remembered your neighbor. Youve been staying in that apartment for 6mos already, and yet you didnt have a chance to talk to him or greet him.

Should you ask him for help? Nah. Youre shy..

But then, the weather is really chilly. And without the heater, you might die in coldness.

"Nah, I have my last option, my mom."

You called and unfortunately, She's not at home. She went out of town with her bingo friends. You sighed.

You only have your neighbor as your last option. You mustered all your courage to ring his doorbell. You bought your dinner hoping that he wil let you in and eat him, with him..

You ringed the bell 2 times.. bit nervous..

He opened the door. He is in his pajamas. His top was unbuttoned. (same.as.the.picture.above.i forgot.the.exactwords.)

You were speechless. He was looking at you expressionless.

"uhm.. Hi. Im from unit 201, hehe." A bit nervous.

"Hi."

"uhm.. can I uhm.. have dinner here? Uh.."

"sure. Come in.." He said without hesitations. He acts like he knows what exactly you mean..

You both went inside his unit. His unit was fucking clean. It turned you on. He smells exactly the same as his room. So manly.. you suddenly became horny.

You immediately went to his kitchen. You heard him chuckled. Fuck?

"uhm. I brought some kimchi soup. You know.. h..hehe would you like some?." You genuinely offered it.

"Yes." You talk to each other like you already know each other.

"i..im y/n.. i forgot to introduce myself." You chuckled.

"Im Vernon." He answered.

"Hi Vernon! How long are you here in this apartment?." You asked trying to make the conversation longer.

"quite some time."

"Do you have a job? I mean.. i dont usually see you. H..hehe.."

"officeworker."

"ohh I see.. h..hehe." Youre out of questions now. How can you keep the conversation going?

"i like the soup." Vernon said.

"ohh.. ahaha.. Thank you. I just made this because its really cold outside. Im so glad you liked it.." You said. You now feel that the atmosphere is a bit light.

You finished eating and you fixed the table already. You are at the kitchen sink when you felt a presence. It was Vernon.

He suddenly came to you. "Uhm... I wanted to wash the plates.. can I wash---.."

Vernon suddenly kissed you. You can feel him pressing unto you..

He started to undress your top, and his hand caressing your breast. You liked it. You only know his name, and yet here you are, kissing him. Letting him strip you and cup your breast.

"uhm.. wait-- uhh Ver..non.. ahhhhhh---" You cant think straight anymore.. Youre immersed in this feeling already. The feeling of being fucked by a handsome and mysterious neighbor.

You like a man who knows how to take charge. You also like being nude in front of a man with half of his clothes on. A good beginning is important.

He suddenly carried you in a bride style..

"I just wanna fuck you so bad.. Im sorry it got me turned on." sincerly apologizing to you. but, you dont find it wierd. You find hot. It made you more horny.

Then he got naked. His penis was huge. He didn't seem to be in any hurry. You love being french kissed in the nude. This is like one of your fantasies. Vernon decided you'd love it even more while being finger fucked.

He started to move lower unto your inbetween legs. His tongue and fingers were in perfect sync.

"aahhhh--uhhhnggg.." You kept on moaning that made him turned on more.

As you became increasingly wet, his attention shifted to your fully erect nipples. You liked the sensation of his tongue expertly probing and flicking your pleasure cherries.

You're proud of your breasts, and appreciated his serious attempt to lick and suck the pink off your nipples.

"uhhhhhhhngg.. s..shit.. how can you be this good Vernon.. uhhhh.."

He didnt answer.

He backed away and re-situated his body between your legs. His cock was standing straight up. He lifted your left foot and he placed your toes to his face. He began licking each one like a special morsel, and then repeated the procedure with your right foot. This was fun.

Vernon is such an expert. You werent expecting that a mysterious boy can be this good in fucking.

You wanted to be fucked. He spread your legs and ate you out. You always liked being licked. He tongued you like a snake, slowly edging near and around the clitoris but never quite making contact. You moaned longingly as he brought me to the brink of release with pleasure surges that kept increasing in intensity.

"ahhhhhhh..uhhhhh..nggg.." You heard him moan and it made you hornier.

You begged.

Vernon inserted his finger into your pussy and then withdrew it, wet and glistening with your physical excitement.

He anointed your clitoris and licked it that made you arched your back in pleasure..

Vernon re-inserted his finger all the way in, and slowly withdrew it. This time he drew a moist trace of pussy juice from the top of the pubis and up the abdomen.

You sat up on your elbows to watch. This was a show you didn't want to miss.

He reintroduced his finger and slowly withdrew from the nectar well. Brushing past my clitoris, he again traced a liquid glory trail further up your abdomen, and into the navel.

"ahhhh..fuck..your pussy's so wet..y/n.." Vernon said while playing your juices.

He had found your secret fetish, your only secret shame, and you were in heaven.

You watched his fingernail lewdly wiggle it's way back and forth across the belly knot, producing a gloriously painful pleasure.

You're lipbiting. You raised your tummy for more exquisite love punishment. You relished the idea of having a stranger make your navel so sweetly sore and red, and Vernon's finger didn't disappoint.

"You have such a sexy belly button.." he purred.

You blushed. You really like it when someone notices it.

"You like it when I say belly button, don't you?"

You nodded.

"Tell me how much you like my finger in your belly button." Vernon said.

"I..i like it..."

"No-- say it..."

"I like your finger...in my.. b..belly button.." You murmured.

"Say it again louder like you mean it!! Where do you like my finger?"

You hesitated before obeying his command. You managed to raise your voice, this is the first time that you heard his real deep voice. but couldn't find the wherewithal to look him in the eye.

"I..in my belly button."

"That's right!" he sneered. "In your belly button!" He said.

As his finger continued to probe, You felt yourself literally dripping on the sheet below. Of all your past partners, no man had loved your tummy quite like Vernon.

When his nail finally found the core of the birth scar, it made you cum.

"ahhhhhhhhnggg..s..shit..ahhhh.. s..shit Ver..non..im cumming.. ahhhh.."

Your body quivered all the way down to your toes. You felt like a naked little girl who had touched herself impurely for the first time, and then realized her mother was watching.

The delicious mixture of pleasure and shame overwhelmed your senses.

Before your pleasure ebbed, his mouth was back and slobbering on your breasts. He was so excited, and you are so ready.

You spread your legs wide open in anticipation of being penetrated. His penis was not only long, but had plenty of girth. You beckoned him while fingering your clitoris.

"Such a slutty angel.. i love it.." He murmured.

"Please fuck me now Vernon.. Use me any way you like.. I want it so fucking bad.. I want your dick inside me.." pleading like a slut.

Instead, he placed your hand around his shaft, guiding it slowly up and down. Without any coaxing you placed your mouth on the head of his penis and ran your tongue lovingly around the well-defined ridge. The circumference seemed to go on forever. You paid special attention to the underside where the seminal vesicle attached.

You licked the penis slit, and tasted a tiny dew drop of his excitement. You licked it again, and waited. Another clear droplet of lubricant emerged which you smeared all over the head with your finger. It felt so slippery, sensuous and sexy.

"ahhhhhhh..shit..aaaaaahhnggg.." Vernon moaned.

You spread your legs. He carefully inserted the head of his penis into your pussy, which caused you to spread even wider. That amazing ridge and penis head worked it's way back and forth in an agonizingly slow tease.

"ahhhhhhh..uhhhhngggg..ahhhshit.."

Your fully stretched crack barely swallowed the tip of his amazing cock which he tantalizingly popped in and out of your vulva repeatedly. If you had not been so lubricated, it might have split you in two.

With slow measured thrusts he achieved full penetration. He was as hard as a rock, and stayed hard as a rock for what seemed an eternity. If you both had stood up, he could have anchored you onto that sweet appendage without your feet ever touching the ground. Oh your going to be so sore for the next week, and it was going to be so worth it.

Without missing a beat you both rolled over which left you on top to ride him rodeo-style. Vernon remained still while you did all the work. He placed his hands at your sides.

"ahhhh..ahhhhh..shit..ahhhhh.auhhhh.." You both moaned in pleasure.

"That's right.." He purred sweetly.

"Give me a show while I fuck you. Keep me nice and hard like a good belly dancer." He said.

He placed his thumbs on your nipples. "Your titties are so big, so pink, and so hard. A naughty little girl like you loves a good fucking, don't you? You're as randy as a dirty little whore. You want every bit of pleasure you can grab. You want to be fucked like a dirty, filthy little whore, don't you?"

That sounded sexy to you. Its true you wanted to fucked like a slutty whore.

"Yes...oh God..uhhhhh..yes!"

You worked your vagina up and down every inch of his amazing human club. Your insides were turning to jelly. You never had felt so possessed in your life. A lightning bolt of pleasure surged through you, and repeated four or five times in rapid succession. You began to shake. Each surge brought on a new level of rapture. You could hardly catch your breath as he thoroughly stoked the needs of your sexual furnace. You fell back in surrender as he finished me off.

Both satisfied.

He slowly pulled out, still hard, and christened your belly button with his remaining seed. The sight re-ignited your arousal.

He slowly daubed his middle finger in the ejaculate pool, and coated your nipples with semen. He then lapped up semen with his index finger, and without warning, stuck it in your rectum.

Before you could fully react, the tip of his tongue lapped the tip of your clitoris like a parched dog. Your entire body clenched as you cried out in blissful agony,

"Oh.. ahhh..shit..that is so fucking nasty!"

You squirted in his face; once.. twice... three times.

He closed his eyes, and didn't move a muscle.

"I wish, you wouldnt hate me for this.." Vernon said.. You shushed him. You cant blame him thou.. You liked it too. Its just that the Vernon that you are expecting is a shy and nerdy one. It turns out, its the different one.

#seventeen smut #vernon #vernon smut #svt au #svt smut #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #svt

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous?

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

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msmarvelwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Season Of The Witch

Summary: Your witchy abilities get you in quite a bit of trouble from time to time… But this time you don’t mind so much.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, honestly i think that’s it. Just soft boy Bucky.

Word Count: 2k

Author's Note: I had a lot of fun writing this one. Little bit of a witchy- halloween vibe for ya guys… Honestly I’m really in love with this idea, so who knows- if you like it I might write a part 2!

Huge Thank you to @cutie1365 for editing this mess! Couldnt have done it without her!

“Okay, okay. What colour am I thinking of now.” Peter squealed, plopping himself down on your bed, staring at you like a kid on christmas.

Being the Avengers personal psychic has its benefits, but this was certainly not one of them. You thought your party-trick of a superpower would have grown old on your friends, and yet it always seemed to draw a crowd of non-believers. You weren't the toughest or the strongest by any means, but you sure knew your way around a person's thoughts, which proved to be an advantage to the team. Mostly you were in charge of recon, but that didn't stop Natasha from dragging you to the gym every weekend and torturing you with super hero level workouts.

“How many more times are we going to do this, Peter?” You sighed, but soon realised he wasnt caving. “Blue. Just like last time it was orange and the time before that thirteen. Can we please stop.”

Peter scanned you over for a moment, before relaxing back on your headboard.

Fine, but only because Mr. Stark said he was ordering Chinese and it's probably here by now. His voice echoed through your mind.

“Actually, I heard Wanda say he’s getting pizza.” You corrected.

“How did you-?” He paused, eyes agape as your words registered. “That is seriously cool, you know that? I mean, I hang from the walls but that- that is cool! I can see why they coined you The Witch now,” Peter playfully shouted. “Can you do that with anyone, at any time?”

You smiled sheepishly, remembering the times your wandering mind had gotten you in some pretty uncomfortable situations. You tried your very best to stay out of your friends heads, but sometimes that was easier said than done. Especially when it came to the former Hydra assassin. His thoughts seemed to creep into your mind, seeping through the cracks unbidden. Sometimes his mind would wander aimlessly, but that wasn't always the case. You knew about Bucky’s dark past, however hearing it in his own cruel words was something else entirely. Though he would never utter the words allowed they were seared into your mind. You had every sense to avoid the man and yet his voice, like gravel and smoke, drew you in, intoxicated on his every word as it clouded around your subconscious.

“Unfortunately” You sighed, easing back into the mattress and unconsciously biting at the corner of your mouth. Your gift didnt make you very popular when you were younger. You were honestly surprised it was so welcomed here. Most people consider you an invasion of privacy... But Peter was different from the highschool kids you grew up with. Maybe it was due to the fact he was different too, but something about the way his mind wandered made you believe that radio-active spider or not, Peter would always be Peter.

“What does Bucky think about?”

That knocked you out of your thoughts. You snapped your head up and looked at Peter, who only seemed to have a curious look in his eyes.

He’s so broody and mysterious. Guy gives me the creeps.

“Bucky is a sweetheart deep down.” You faked a smile, concerned as to why you felt the need to defend him. From an outside perspective, it was possible to fear the former Winter Soldier. However, knowing what you did haunted your nerves.

“I’m sure very, very deep down.” Peter chuckled. “I’m going to go grab some pizza before Sam eats it all. Are you coming?”

You smiled softly, preparing yourself for the dinner with your friends. Though you enjoyed having a sort of family, dinners together would often grow overwhelming in your mind, voices colliding though your head, brewing into a storm in your thoughts.

“I’ll be down in a few.” With that, Peter stumbled out of your room and down the hallway leaving you with your thoughts. You closed your eyes, concentrating on the many different voices faintly echoing around you. You could only make out bits and pieces as they vibrated through the walls and all around you. At first, it was hard to identify whose voice belonged to who, but soon after you moved into the compound it became easy.

Natasha thought in poems. Her brain was always working on the next solution- the next verse. Her mind wandered in and out of trains of thought like a dancer, drifting back and forth with ease. It was always relaxing listening in.

Tony was constantly listening to his music wherever he went. You had an inkling it was because he knew how powerful you were. ‘Like built-in surveillance,’ he’d often say. Though, you’d never deflate his ego in letting him know you could still hear his thoughts clear as day.

But then there was Bucky. It took you a while to understand his thoughts. They always seemed erratic and chased- never one thought all at once, but it soon became clear why. Bucky was constantly correcting himself. When his mind began to tiptoe into the darkest corners, he’d change the conversation, ushering it back to what he thought was right. Listening to his internal debates became a favourite pastime of yours. He often reminisced about his time in the forties. You liked how easy it was, listening to him think. Though you had never said more than five words to him allowed, you were content with this little part of him. Pieces only you both knew. Like the beautiful woman he would lose himself daydreaming about. The way he described her made you feel flush all over. He never thought her name, and yet it stung all the more knowing his heart was stolen. His beautiful ‘ведьма’. Not that you stood a fighting chance. Not to mention the impending age gape you both shared. Often he would find you staring and a string of curses would follow as he realised he’d be caught. You never meant to intrude, but then again, that wasn't entirely true.

With a huff, you swung your legs off the bed letting your feet hit the cold wooden floors, but before you could even open the door, you heard him. His voice was so loud you almost didn't know if he was speaking aloud or not.

Just do it, you punk. Walk up there and ask her. What’s the worst that could happen?.... She could plunge a knife into your back- no…. She wouldn't do that and you know it. If you ask her, she might say yes… Honestly that might he worse than-

You swing the door open, startling Bucky back a few paces as your eyes might his. Instantly his face blooms with pink as his mind races- his thoughts an incoherent mess.

“Hi Bucky.” You spoke only above a whisper.

“Oh jesus! I didn't know you were right there.” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck trying to steady his breathing.

“Sorry…” You mumbled, breaking eye contact and suddenly finding the floor very interesting. “I didn mean to scare you-”

“You don’t- I mean, you didn't scare me.” He chuckled, his mind suddenly blank. “It doesn't matter right now because I, uh… I was wondering if you're coming for dinner.”

You nodded your head, “Yeah, on my way now.” You smiled softly.

“Great,” Bucky grinned, running his hand through his cropped hair and stepping aside. “I can walk with you.”

You nodded, swallowing hard as you swung the door shut and began walking side by side with Bucky in heavy silence.

“Know what’s for dinner?” Bucky finally spoke.

“Pizza. Your favourite.” You affirmed, meeting his curious eyes. His strides slowed until he was at a full stop.

“I never told you that.” He pried, looking at your in question.

You froze, suddenly aware of what you had just said. There was nothing more you wanted than to sink into the floor and let the earth swallow you whole.

“Uh,” You nervously laughed, “You must have at some point. Yeah, I remember now, it was-”

“How often do you listen?” he interrupted, making your mouth clamp shut.

You thought about lying, though it didn't seem right. You knew all his secrets and all he asked was this one. Surely you could grant him that even if it cost a punch to the ego.

“All the time,” You started, your eyes never leaving the floor. “I don’t mean to. At least that’s the way it started. I really try to put you guys all on ‘mute’ when we're together, but your voice always comes through. I don't know what it is, but I like the way you think.” You admitted, feeling heat rising from your chest.

“You like the way I think?” He pried, taking a few steps closer to you. You could feel the tension buzzing around the hallway, ricocheting off the walls and exploding all around you.

“I’m sorry, I’m so embarrassed. It's such an invasion of privacy. You must hate me. I promise I won't tell anyone about the things I hear. Especially her.”

“Her?” He chuckled, taking another step toward you leaving only a few tiles between the two of you.

“Ведьма.” You choked out. “You think about her all the time. She sounds beautiful, by the way. I’m sorry, that's overstepping… I just, I’m sorry. Really I’ll just go-”

Before you could turn on your heel and run for the hills, Bucky's hands were around your wrists, holding you still. His eyes were pleading as he opened he opened and shut his mouth trying to find the right words to say.

“For a witch, you sure aren’t very intuitive.” Bucky signed, your eyes finally landing on his. “My beautiful witch, don’t know by now?”

You blinked at him, your mouth suddenly dry and words caught in your throat. Before you could speak, his thoughts broke through the air, tumbling around you.

Are you listening, doll? His voice echoed around you sending a shiver down your spine. You nodded your head, watching as his eyes crinkled up as he a lopsided grin formed on his pink lips.

It’s you. It’s always you. I've tried to stop, trust me. I just can’t seem to shake it.

You almost didn't notice the smile that began to pull at the corners of your mouth as you took in his words. They drifted in the air around you, echoing through your mind as Bucky’s thumbs rubbed circles into your skin.

“Ask me.” You spoke up, a sudden confidence serging through your core. Bucky raised a brow, scanning you over until your words resonated with him.

“Right, of course.” He cleared his throat, letting go of your hands and intertwining his own nervously. “Would you ever consider letting me take you out. To dinner, maybe?”

You bit down on your bottom lip to stop yourself from giggling as you listened to his internal monologue of nerves that followed his question.

“Took you long enough.” You chuckled, watching as his smile lit up the room around you. Before you could stop yourself you closed the distance between you, draping your arms around his shoulders and crashing your lips onto his. Bucky froze, but almost as instantly melted into you, his hands finding their home on your hips as he pulled you in. You wanted nothing more than to melt into him but his racing thoughts swirled around you, causing a giggle to fall from your lips.

Holy Shit. Kiss her back, you moron. Oh god she smells so good. What is that? Cinnamon? Citrus? Shit, she's so close to me. Don't panic. Don't panic. Fuck she feels good. Just relax, and- Oh shit. Can you hear me?

You couldn't help but throw your head back, laughter bubbling out of your chest as his thoughts raced through his head.

“I can tell you're going to be a lot of fun, Barnes” You mumbled against his lips.

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A/n: Nervous Bucky is my favourite can you tell? I loved this one, show some love if you felt the same!

@cutie1365 @whateveriwant

@projectcampbell @kalesrebellion

@calwitch @hpandmcu177a

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes reader

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weeb-writor · 4 years ago

Text

Do you still love me?

Hello lovelies! Today I am back with a angst piece but a happy ending don't fret too much! I was really thinking about making it end horribly or leaving it up to the readers imagination but I decided nahh i couldn't do that to my heart. So here Bakugou and his s/o who fell out of love??(or did they??) when then have a large family in the mix. I have also decided im kind of obsessed with domestic pieces lol, they are like more than half of all my posts. Anywho, reader is neutral hope you guys enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

You and Bakugou call its quits not thinking of what it would do to your 5 kids who are stuck in the middle

Words: 3606

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are we going to dad’s today?” Hiroyuki asked softly.

“Yeah, your going to spend the weekend with him, all of you.” You smiled at him.

“Can I bring Tokki?” He said looking at the ground already knowing your answer.

“We went over this last time baby, Daddy can't have pets at his new place and Tokki is a cat, he likes staying at home.” You said with a sigh. It really sucks that it came down to this, spend a week with you then a weekend with dad, then rinse repeat. Sometimes you even wondered if it was better. That’s what you and Bakugou told each other, I mean what else can you do when you fall out of love? You approached your car where all of your other children were waiting. You and Hiroyuki sat down and signaled the diver to go.

“We going to daddy’s right?” Kohana said as she bounced around in her seat. You booped her nose and nodded at her.

“Yay, daddy’s home!” Yoko said, clapping.

“Don't get excited Yoko, Dad’s probably busy. Were probably gonna be with Grandpa and Grandma.” Hiroyuki said playing with your fingers.

“You're so dramatic Yuki! Of course dad is busy! He is a Hero but he always makes time for us.” Your oldest said little explosion going off around her.

“Kaori.” You warned her with a stern voice. The little sparks calmed and she went back to quietly gazing out the window.

“Your dad is a hero and therefore busy but I know he is very excited to see you all and will spend all the time he has with you.” You smiled at them. They all smiled back before going back into relative silence. When you and Bakugou decided to have a big family you were ecstatic and so was he. This, however, wasn't what you imagined. A tiny rift right threw your family and it was growing bigger everyday. When you told the kids about the spilt they didnt say much and the youngest ones didnt even really understand but as they lived through it, they changed. They formed their own opinions about who’s fault it is and why it happened. And now they were splitting up, there was Kaori the eldest who didn't care too much, Yoko, and Kohana. At the opposite end was Hiroyuki, just him. Your fragile little boy who was so sure it was his dad’s fault. Saiyuri was too young to choose a side but all the change wasn't really helping the 11th month old baby.

“We have arrived.” The diver announced. You thanked him while getting everyone out of the seats and exiting the car. Bakugou lived in an apartment now at the tippy top of course. It was a long and loud elevator ride as your kids were antsy to see their dad. When it opened Bakugou was standing there waiting for them and was immediately met with an armful of girls.

“Daddy! I missed you so much!” Kohana said almost in tears.

“Misses Daddy.” Yoko echoed her sister.

“Yeah, I missed all you brats too, you better have been on your best behavior! You have to keep up the Bakugou reputation.” He teased them

“Of course we have! I'm still number one in my quirk development classes. Yuki has the best grades in all of his grade. Kohana is reading at a 3rd grade level already and Yoko and Saiyuri are everyone's favorite at the Daycare!” Kaori said with vigor.

“Yeah, your all Bakugou’s for sure.” He chuckled at them. He turned to talk to Hiroyuki but he was gone. You heard a door shut, he was probably already in his room.

“I've got homework to do dad and them we should do something all together!” Kaori said kissing his check before taking off. Her sisters followed her as usual.

“How long do you think he’ll be like that?” Bakugou asked you with a sigh.

“Honestly I don't know, it's not like I tell him awful things about you. Maybe it would have been better if we did cause then he would have one thing to be angry about, one event, It would be easier than him just being angry at you.” You said placing Saiyuri onto the ground to walk around.

“They’re so mature and smart I forget they’re so young. Hell we don't understand why it happened, you can't just pinpoint a time where you fell outta love, it’s gradual. So how can we expect them too.” Bakugou said, sounding in pain.

“Yeah, sucks they had to witness it. I’ve got to go meet up with someone but just… He thinks you’re going to call your parents and abandon them to do Hero work. I know you can't put off everything but I think he just wants to know that for once he can come first to you.” You said as you kissed Saiyoui’s forehead. You were about to enter the elevator when a weight crashed into you. You didn't have to look down too far to see Hiroyuki hugging you.

“Take care of Tokki, please.”

“Yes and you make sure you and your sisters behave for your dad.” He sighed but nodded at you. You gave him one last hair ruffle before leaving. You couldn't help but think this wasn't ever gonna get any easier. You sighed before heading to the next destination, a café to meet with a few of your friends.

“Y/N!” You heard a voice call to you as soon as you opened the door. You identified the voice as Mina.

“Mina! Long time no see!” You said giving her a hug.

“Y/n, dear come sit down.” Momo said smiling at you, you sat down with the group.

“How are you doing.” Mina asked you cautiously

“I’m surprisingly doing awful, I see Bakugou too much to truly get over him. The kids are still adjusting to us being apart and Hiroyuki has been really upset and distant. I thought breaking up would fix a lot but it just made everything worse.” You sighed out.

“Well of course it did!!!” Urakara whisper yelled.

“You and Bakugou called it quits way too soon! I've never seen someone handle Bakugou the way you do. I’ve never seen anyone love him like you. Hell Bakugou loves you so much it’s ridiculous! Do you remember when he was gonna put his hero work on hold because of Kaori! I’m sorry y/n but I’m not buying this fell out of love thing.” Deku rushed out.

“Mm I’d have to agree. If there is anything I’ve learned from being friends with Bakugou it’s that he never half ass anything and if he put time into it he’s gonna see it through till the end so, logically it doesn’t make sense.” Todoroki said quietly.

“Yeah so what’s your side of the story?” Mina asked carefully.

“I… loved him, you know and when we had kids it only intensified but now it’s different. Bakugou is a great dad don’t get me wrong but he’s absent and that was fine when it was just me, Kaori, Hiroyuki, and Kohana but now there is Yoko and Saiyuri. It’s hard when they all have different school times and different needs cause of their ages. It’s hard because I had to put part of my life on hold, I went to UA too and I was supposed to be one of the greatest support people out there, every agency would want me. But it was Bakugou’s dream first so I sacrificed it all in a heartbeat. Over the years he just got more busy and I got more left behind. I’m tired of waiting up till 3am to make sure he’s alright knowing I have to be up at 7 to get the kids ready for school. I… love him and I don’t want to argue with him and I could feel myself growing angry at him, feel myself growing resentful. So I brought it up under the disguise of “do you still love me” and he said No… so that was that and we were done the next week.” You said not meeting their eyes. They just looked at you with wide eyes.

“Y/n I’m sorry, I didn’t know you felt like this.” Momo said softly.

“It’s fine, he is the love of my life and our kids are my everything so I would do it all again, just for them.” You smiled with a few tears cascading down your face.

“You haven’t tried to talk to him about this, you still love him, you guys can fix this.” Deku said almost mumbling.

“But he doesn’t love me and so there is nothing to talk about. Now come on let’s talk about something else. You can hear sob stories like mine anytime.” You waved them off. They were hesitant but the conversation did pick up about their lives and your time at UA, at least the happy parts. The rest of your two days without your kids were a blur. You just remember waking up with your phone going off a Monday.

“Hello is this Bakugou Y/n?” A women’s said. The title hurt just a bit.

“Yes it is.” You responded drowsily.

“I am very sorry you have to receive a call like this but your son Bakugou Hiroyuki has been rushed to the hospital, his sister did refuse to leave his side so she is there as well.” You were silent before hanging up and immediately calling Bakugou.

“What’s up?” He rushed out. He sounded panicked so he must have gotten a call too.

“I need you to pick up Yoko and Saiyuri.” You said rushing to put in on your clothes.

“What? But yuki is in the hospital, we’ve got to be there.” He said

“Yes but they are done with daycare in.” You paused to look at the clock on your way out the door. “A hour. If we don’t get them now we’ll have to leave him to get them.” You said finally in your car.

“Yeah and he would rather be with you than me…” he trailed off.

“I didn’t say that.” You rushed out

“You didn’t need to, I'll get them and be there as soon as I can.” He said hanging up. You sighed and continued your drive to the hospital. When you got there you rushed to the room where you looked in and saw your son unconscious and Kaori laying next to him.

“So he is going to be okay, we do want him to remain here for another day or two.” The doctor said to you, smiling.

“Okay but what’s wrong with him.”

“Well he hasn’t been eating or drinking or sleeping enough, especially for a boy experiencing his growth spurt. Pair that with how much he has been using his quirk in class and you have a pretty bad situation.” She said as if it was nothing to worry about.

“Uhhh okay so we just need to make sure he is eating and drinking right?” You said pacing a little.

“Yeah and I would figure out what made him stop. Your daughter was very adamant about it not being abuse just that there was something going on at home and he is trying to deal with it.” The doctor said as you froze thinking you did this to him.

“Just a divorce…” you trailed off.

“Yeah that will do it but I don’t need to know about it. It's your business just make sure to talk to him so you don’t end up back here.” She said before leaving, you let out a few tears before heading into the room. Noticing you, Kaori got up and was hugging you tighter than she ever had.

“Did you know he wasn’t taking care of himself?” You asked, stroking her hair. She shook her head no.

“I didn’t either, I didn’t know it was hitting him so hard… you know you can ask me about anything, tell me anything… me and your dad will always be in your corner.” You said lifting her chin so you gazed into her eyes.

“But you're both not in our corner anymore. You guys are in to different corners and it’s hard to keep up with two different houses and two different.. well everything’s.” She said looking away from you.

“I never meant to you guys to feel like this, I just…” You trailed off but before you could finish Hiroyuki tossed and turned in his bed.

“Yuki sweetie, can you hear me?” You said as you rushed to his side.

“Mmm.” He said, he’s eyes still shut in pain.

“Oh baby, i'm so sorry I didn't notice you were in pain. It’s never gonna happen again, okay? Do you need something?” You said stroking his hair, he hummed before falling back to sleep. You sighed and kissed his forehead.

“So whats up with him?” Bakugou rushed into the room with the girls in his arms.

“He hasn’t been eating, or drinking, or sleeping. So when he used his quirk it drained his body and he’s here for 1 or 2 more days.” You said eyes never leaving his.

“That's impossible, he was just with me… he… didn't eat very much.” He trailed off. You hummed at him understanding how he was felling as you missed the signs too.

“Hey, girls I texted Grandma and Grandpa and they said they miss you so much. So while we take care of Yuki how about you guys go see them, yeah? Mr. Yuri is waiting to take you.” You smiled at them. You see a fire rise in Kaori but it goes out quick as Bakugou ruffles her hair.

“Okay then, be good for them and don't cause too much trouble. Mr. Yuri will pick up Kohana, Kaori please explain what's happening to her. And don't worry, we’ll see you real soon.” You said waving the girls out of the room. When they were out of sight you and Bakugou visually deflated.

“Katsuki, how does this keep happening?” You asked him

“What?”

“How do things keep getting worse, first the break up, then the kids being mad at each other, Yuki’s anger at you, and now this.” You cried out.

“The break up was bad to you?” He asked voice cracking.

“Why wouldn't it be, Katsuki I know you don't love me anymore but I…” You trailed off

“Would you just spit it out dumbass! This is why we didn't work out because you never say shit. You just bottle it up and never lean on me or depend on me the way I do to you. You used to say “we're a team” all the time but in the last 2 years you haven't said it once. It was you who fell out of love with me so don't pretend like it was so hard for you.” He yelled at you.

“This is why we don't talk Katsuki, all you wanna do is yell and project all the feelings you bottle up from working so goddamn much. Of course it was hard on me and you would know why if you could drop your ego and talk to me like you can tolerate being around me or love me!” You yelled back at him but before the argument could turn into a big screaming match your sons voice rang out.

“Would you two just stop it…” He said weakly.

“Yuki, im sorry we shouldn't have been yelling even if you were asleep.” Bakugou said caressing his check. At the touch Hiroyuki let out the tears he’s been holding in.

“Its us isn't it?” He paused to look at you. “Me and my sisters… You had Kaori and me pretty young and you didn't really get to be young. You had all of us before you really got to live together just the two of you.. And Uncle Izuku and Auntie Urakara's relationship is doing fine even though they started to date around the same time as you, difference is they just started having kids like 4 years ago… Im 12 and Kaori is 13. So its us isnt?…” He said curling into himself.

“Kid, I'm not gonna lie to you, having you and Kaori at the ages we did was a nightmare. We were barely out of school, we lived with my parents for a while cause we didn't have jobs or a place of our own and even we did get one it was a shitty hole in the wall place but even at the young age of 19 we pulled our shit together and made it work so when you came a year later we were a lot more prepared. Yes we did miss out on a lot of things people our age did but we had you and Kaori and that was so much better than party’s and hangovers. Then we decided to have Kohana, Yoko, and Saiyuri and you all make us so happy. You all have nothing, not a damn thing to do with what's going on between me and y/n. If we ever made you feel like you did we didn't mean to. We love you so much and I am so sorry if we ever made it seem like it was your fault.” Bakugou said, eyes boring into Hiroyuki’s. Hiroyuki looked at you and you nodded to show you agreed with Bakugou.

“Don't ever forget how much we love you, okay? Now you should eat, we’ll get you anything you want.” You said wiping your tears with a smile.

“If it's not too much trouble, I want you and dad’s spicy pork curry and you guys should take some to the girls.” He said drowsily.

“But in order to make that we both would have to leave since it's a meal we make together… we couldn't leave you here alone.” You said mostly to yourself before any could say anything else a new voice was heard entering the room.

“You guys go talk and make him some food, ill stay with him. I didn't watch you guys terribly flirt and kiss everywhere just for it to end over some miscommunications.” Aizawa said as he took the seat next to Hiroyuki. Aizawa had remained close with a lot of students from 1A, becoming like a second dad but he had been extra close with you and Bakugou. When Kaori came into the equation he was like a nanny to her and it only increased when Hiroyuki was born, the two having a really strong bond so neither you or Bakugou was shocked he showed up.

“Okay, then old man. Watch my kid.” Bakugou said, grabbing your hand and pulling you away. You almost forgot what his calloused hand felt like. He drug you to his car and the car ride was mostly silent. The talking began when you began to cook in the house you used to share.

“Do you love me?” You asked as you cut pork

“Yes, I love you. I never stopped, I am in love with you y/n. Today I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow.” He said slicing onions.

“Then why did you say that, say that you didn't love me.”

“Because I could see it, you don't look at me the same. We don't talk the way we used to. I don't want to string you along and make you hate being with me, because I love you more than life itself. And I was scared that one day you would wake up and you wouldn't need me and realize how easy it would be to leave me. That it would be my fault we ended because I was so focused on me I didn't see your pain. Scared that I would wake up and gaze into your eyes and find no love or joy in them. So I decided to let you go… I was thinking we just needed a break but you suggested a divorce and I agreed because I would do anything to make sure you keep that beautiful smile of yours. Even if you weren't smiling at me anymore… do you..” He said calmly, growing more emotional with each word.

“Yea, I never ever stopped. I was just tired, I am tired. But I want nothing more than for us to work… we can get through this, can't we?” You asked cautiously.

“Of course we can, we are Bakugous, we can do whatever the hell we want. And it will be different this time, we’ll talk about things and communicate better, I swear. I aint seeing a shrink though.” He said flicking water at you to make his last point more effective.

“Yes we are.” You giggled at him.

“No we aren't, you shitty dumbass. We don't need help, I can talk about my feelings without some dumb wanna be life coach.” He yelled as he began to wash the rice.

“Well we don't have to but I guess that means Zuku and Urakara have a better relationship than us since they go to counseling…” you trailed off with a shrug.

“Oh fuck you!” He roared at you, you giggled knowing he would now go. This was the most normal you felt in months, the happiest for sure. Just maybe things would be okay, and who were you kidding you could never fall out of love with the spiky haired explosion boy no matter what he did. It was toxic in a way but you could unpack that in the therapy sessions you were gonna force him to attend.

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki #mha x y/n #mha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugo x reader #domestic fluff #bakugou angst #angst

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alexhasaknife · 2 years ago

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hello friends!!

I was trying to explain my dysphoria to someone, and realized!! that shits hard!! so i just threw together a little story about it (loosely, ofc) and wanted to share it!! enjoy!!

I woke up, and glanced at my clock. It said it was 11:23 AM. I took a deep breath, and sat up. Pushing my weighted blanket aside, I got out of bed. 11:23 meant that i had slept too late again, and I was going to be lethargic today if I didnt take my meds soon. I got my cup of water from the kitchen, fed my dog and cat, and headed to the bathroom.

I glanced at myself in the mirror, only to remember I forgot to put my glasses on. Setting my water down, I waltzed off to my room to find my glasses. They were right where I had left them last night, sitting on my nightside table, next to a note to remind me to take my meds. I threw my glasses on, and started to grab the slip of paper to throw it away- and stopped short.

My nightstand was a different color. Scratch that- everything was a different color. My bed, my walls, my floor, everything looked- colorful. Wait, was it my glasses? I took them off, and put them back on. No, not my glasses. I guess my eyes changed overnight? But that doesnt make any sense. That would be a medical miracle. Remembering about the note im my hand, I ran to the bathroom to take my meds.

I grabbed my water and meds, threw the note away, and was about to raise the water to my lips when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Realizing the medicine was dissolving in my mouth, I glugged down the water, and started to stare again. This was the first time I had seen myself in full color. I knew I was colorblind, but also knew that there was nothing anyone could do about it. The meds were for my ADHD, but so many doctors had tried to give me something to make me see in colors.

I looked so… weird. My face was kind of the same, but not. I always thought I had grey eyes, but now they looked green. I also never noticed I had freckles. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s a bit like a huge weight was just lifted off of my shoulders. I blinked at the person in the mirror, and she blinked back. I stood and stared for a while longer, but then my stomach growled and I realized I hadnt eaten yet.

Rushing to the kitchen, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat at the island. I stared at the bowl of peaches in front of me, and wondered what color you would call that. Growing up colorblind, most of the colors look the same-ish. I got my phone from the bedroom, and looked up ‘color names’ to help me out a bit. The peaches looked kinda… orange? Yeah, orange looks the closest. I turned to the counter, which hadnt changed colors. I was wondering if my newfound powers were lapsing, and turned back to my phone in a mild panic. No, the colors were still there. I sat in confusion for half a second, then spotted a color that looked like my counter top. Grey. So thats all I’ve been seeing for all these years? Now I have a name for that color.

A rush of excitement filled me, and I ran around my apartment putting different things to color names. The tile in my kitchen was blue, and the countertop was white and grey. My ceiling was white, my couch was brown, my curtains were white- I stopped. Looking out the window, the full scheme of what I had been missing all these years finally hit me. I stood staring out at the veiw of Denver. It was beautiful.

I spent the rest of my day on cloud 9. I was so happy to finally be able to get to see all these colors, for the first time in my life. It was the weekend, so I didn't have to go to work, and I got to just look at colors all day. I walked around the park, went to starbucks, and did everything else I could think of to do. By the end of the day, I had decided that my favorite was this orange/yellow color I saw in the clouds around 7 o’clock. It had taken my breath away, and I was very sad to watch it leave.

That night, I wrote down some of the things I had seen today, because I thought it would be important to remember for later. I played some minecraft, and went to bed.

I woke up the day after this started, and put on my glasses. I put them on and off again several times. I couldnt believe it. My bedsheets, that had been green the day before, was back to grey. The floor, the nightstand, the ceiling, my curtains. They were all back to they way they had been all my life. I felt a stab of grief, and sank back into my pillows. Realizing I had work today, I got back up and somberly got ready.

I was so exited to tell all my coworkers about what happened. To ask them what their favorite color was. I wanted to say, “Hey, I’m like you now! Look at me!” but now I know I’ll never get the chance. I don’t know how, but I could feel that it wouldnt come back. Ever. So now I know exactly what I’m missing. I know what 93% of the world sees, how they all take it for granted. Or maybe they don’t who knows. All I know is that I’ve never felt so alone in those days after this all happened.

#dysphoria #dysphoric #trans #transgender #trans pride #writing #colorblind #adhd

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marvelfic-writer · 4 years ago

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Chapter 1 - Don’t let them see through

*This is my first fic, criticism is welcomed! :)

1k+

You had told the team you were going on a weekend getaway, which in all fairness you needed after the last mission - You were about to save Nat from Hydra agents and you got stabbed, and almost bled to death in the arms of the woman you love the most. You needed time to heal and regain your composure, which in the meantime Hydra used that against you and kidnapped you before you could even step foot into the beach house Tony rented out for you for the weekend.

You woke up to complete darkness and the smell of burlap, and they proved your suspicions when they jerked the sack off your head. You observed at least 4 men in front of you and 3 behind, guns drawn ready to shoot if you tried anything.

You took in the room and saw the big red Hydra symbol plastered on the wall, you smirked and looked at the man you knew was in charge, “That is literally the worst paint job I have ever seen, you think with all the money y’all have you could get a better painter” You laughed under your breath when you saw the spark grow a little bigger behind his eyes, which you regretted as soon as they snapped your head back, having a tight hold on your hair. You saw the main agent grab a knife off the table and got so close to you that you could smell the coffee in his hot breath, “I am in control here, and I do not like sarcasm. One more “joke” and I will cut into you and make you bleed a slow, painful death” You felt a small twinge of fear, but didnt want to show it so you just clenched your jaw and nodded.

When he was content with your compliance, he patted your cheek. “Time to start T7162” With that he left the room and felt hands on your shoulders bringing you down so you laid with your back flat against the chair.

They put something resembling a helmet on you, you tried to squirm but the harder you resisted, the harder they pushed on your ribs. Once they got the helmet on, they tightened your restraints and backed away and before you could figure out why, a burst of electricity flowed through your body. You tried to hide the agony of the pain, but after the 5th time you could only hold so much in. You felt your body growing weaker and your memories were fading, a whole year of memories with each surge.

Once you were obedient enough, they stabbed a syringe in your neck and you blacked out. When you woke up you had no recollection of the last 7 years as you sat in front of a metal table, restrained to the floor so you couldn’t get away.

They slid a manilla folder in front of you and the agent tapped his finger on the folder - all while holding back laughter “ You are going on a mission as our first brainwashed avenger, this experiment was the beginning of our total control of S.H.I.E.L.D and all that it stands for.” He slid back in his chair and pushed the folder towards you, bobbing his head as a sign for you to open it. “ We will tell you how to act, your relationship with each member, and what you must do.” You slowly reached your shackled hands to the folder, opening it to reveal a picture of the so-called “Avengers”. “ You are, excuse me, were, important to them, so you already have their trust, it’s up to you to act like the old y/n normally would and complete the mission”

You nodded as you flipped through the sensitive information of the team, but once you reached a certain picture, your breath hitched and your heartbeat raised a few beats when you laid your eyes on the folder titled “The Black Widow”, but for the life of you could not form a coherent sentence to figure out why.

You saw the red sunburnt hair; how the few wisps of hair framed her beautiful face, allowing for the green emerald eyes to be the main focal point. For the slightest second you felt a sense of warmness turn over in your stomach, but you snapped back to reality when the agent slammed his fist on the table, stood up and walked over to you with a taser.

Once you regain your composure, the agent continued, “You are to study these files and find their strengths and weaknesses over these next few hours, and by tomorrow morning you will be back at the compound to complete your mission” The agent's voice was like styrofoam rubbing together and it made you physically shudder and it felt like your brain was melting, but you nodded in compliance feeling a smidge of guilt, but unsure why you were feeling it.

Although the scent of baked sugar cookies and lavender makes your mind go fuzzy, you shake your head from the comforting smell and get back to what you were here to do. As you were making your way to Natasha’s room, following the map they made you memorize, you ran straight into someone and his broad chest made you stumble back, but you quickly regained your straight posture and looked up to see a warm smile plastered across his face. All you could smell was the aftershave and cologne which again, made your brain foggy, but you were quickly grabbed from your thoughts by his strong voice. “Hey y/n, I didn’t know you were back yet! How was your getaway?” You only recognized the face from the folder, this is Captain America. When you didn’t answer the peppy way you would, rambling on and on about the details of your trip, Steve slightly raised his eyebrows in a silent way of reassuring you that it was okay to speak. Once you went through the information stored in your brain - Super Soldier… Shield… Hand to hand Combat... you started pulling stuff from your ass. “Oh it was delightful, the beach has always been my safe place so it was good to get my bearings!” You sounded like a totally different person than your mind was thinking you were, but you knew that if you could win the Captain over, your mission would be a breeze. He studied you for a minute, narrowing his eyes and slightly cocking his head to the side, “Okay, well, I’m glad your trip was refreshing and I’m glad you're back” With a pat on the back, you headed on your way, trying to remember the map as the meeting with Steve made you lose your train of thought.

Once you got to the door that you were sure was The Black Widows, no, Natasha, you knocked and waited for the door to open. You stood there for a while before bringing your hand up to knock again when the door swung open revealing The Scarlet Witch, you furrowed your brows picking the information for her… Red magic….Can move things with powers… but you only got so far when the red head pulled you into a hug. You immediately tensed under her touch and you used this distraction to dig further into your mind… Can read minds.

Once you remembered that you blocked your brain from her powers and pulled her into a tight hug, trying to act normal,but you didn’t know y/n’s normal. “ Okay you are about to break my ribs” She pulled away with a slight smile, “Didn’t know you’d miss me that much” You registered that as a joke, but didn’t really find it funny so you forced a laugh, even one that you cringed at. Her face contorted into slight confusion, now her brows furrowed and you could feel her trying to pick your mind. “ Wanda, you gotta stop reading my thoughts” You said this jokingly which earned you a laugh from the Scarlet Witch, with that you started to walk away to the next door.

She didn’t see through me… right?

#natasha romanoff x female reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #avengers endgame #infinity war

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