#off brand cream liquor
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My then-partner and I once played a drinking game where we watched Escape From New York and took a shot every time someone said “Snake Pliskin? I thought you were dead!!!”
This was a horrible mistake.
Even more so because we were drinking off-brand cream liquor from Wine Rack, which we purchased because it was the strongest thing they sold, and Wine Rack was the only place in the vicinity that was still open at 5:55 pm on a Sunday night.
I have no one to blame for this but myself, but it was also the beginning of the end of both that relationship, and my multi-year habitual-binge-drinking phase.
Anyway, if you did the same thing with a couple of episodes of Hannibal and the phrase “Dammit, Fuller, WHY?”, I think you’d probably die.
Thinking about fandom hating women for the sake of yaoi rn. In the special case of Hannibal TV
I need to talk about Alana Bloom. Right Now. Ok? Ok. Ok.
She had every right to reject Will. In fact, I think it was a good choice. She set a boundary, communicated clearly what her own needs were, as well as telling him that while she does like him, this wasn't what either of them needed. And Will respected that! He realized he was clutching for balance in his state of intense fear and instability, and he realized that after the fact, went to Hannibal to talk about it.
'HOT' Take incoming.
She ALSO had every right to enter a relationship with Hannibal during Will's incarceration. Think about things from HER perspective. Yes, it SEEMS obvious, to US, the VIEWER, that Hannibal was pulling strings, that she should have believed Will form the start, but the entire point of Hannibal's manipulation and the way it is done in the show, is that it is meant to be obvious to us while being believably effective on other characters. And if you know a damn thing about abuse, you can see that it is done WELL. Alana had had nothing but good interactions with Hannibal, had seen him do nothing but good, for others. Good at his job, good at being a friend, trying his best to help. SHE DOES NOT SEE WHAT WE SEE. That is the point. She is kept purposefully in the dark, and from her perspective, Will is the only one proven to have committed any crime. So no, I will not accept any Alana Bloom bashing.
#hannibal shitpost#randomized bryan fuller shade#hannibal#nbc hannibal#hannibal nbc#escape from new york#john carpenter#off brand cream liquor#from wine rack#cw alcohol#(stopped drinking entirely like 15 years ago; probably for the best)#(i had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol; obvi)
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BIRTHDAY SEX | ROMAN REIGNS
Summary: the title says it all tbh…
Warnings: Smutttt
“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Monae ! Happy birthday to you!” The waiters sung as Monae smiled across the table at her husband of seven years.
All weekend he’s done nothing but spoil her. Whether it be a brand new Chanel purse, a soothing massage, or the brand new black body KIA K5 with the red interior she’s been yearning for.
They were now seated in one of the best seafood restaurants in Chile enjoying each others company.
“Thank you guys.” She smiled as she saved the video to her phone and looked at the chocolate dessert in front of her.
“You must want me to cry again.”
“Never that love. I just have to show you how much I love you. With all you do for me and the kids. Holding the house down when I’m on the road and treating me like a king all the time. I gotta do the same for my queen.” He looked her in her eyes meaning every word.
When he meet Monae nine years ago he had no idea he was going to fall for her so fast. She was everything he wanted in a woman from her looks to her personality. He knew instantly he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her bad here they were nine years later, married with four kids.
“You’re so sweet. I love you.” She leaned over the table to place a kiss on his lips which he returned.
“I can’t believe I’m thirty three. We’re getting old babe. You’re all gray and everything.” She joked making him shake his head.
She absolutely loved the gray in his beard. It was something about it that made him look extra sexy and she couldn’t get enough of it. Joe on the other hand preferred to dye it and prevent himself from looking older.
“That’s cause you love this shit. I keep it like this for you.” He told her and she bite her lip in response.
“It adds to your sexiness.” She gripped his chin and leaned over the table so their faces were close together.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmmh.” She nodded her head, never breaking eye contact with him. It was no lie the drinks were getting to her and once it was in her system it made her feel some type of way.
“Finish your dessert.” He mumbled already knowing what type of time she was on. He knew exactly how they got when they both had liquor in their systems.
The sexual tension was high as she finished her dessert, savoring each scoop of vanilla ice cream as she licked it off the spoon.
When she finished Joe payed the bill and waited for the driver to bring them to the hotel. In the car they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Joe gripped his wife’s behind caressing it in his large hand as she smiled up at him with lust in her eyes, stealing kisses from him every now and then.
From the time they stepped foot in their luxury hotel suite it was on. Joe instantly stripped her of her dressed and pulled her thong to the side. Hoisting her into the he pinned her against the wall and immediately went to work.
“Mmh, fuck.” She moaned as his warm mouth attached to her vagina and began eating her out.
“You like that? Daddy’s making you feel good?” He spoke against her allowing all the vibrations to run through her body.
“Yes, you’re making me feel so good. Keep going, just like that.” She moaned into his ear, giving him the reassurance he needed.
It didn’t take long for her to cum all over his tongue and he savored every drop of it. His licking and slurping made her wetter by the second.
“Fuckkk— I love you.” She managed to get out as he slipped inside of her began pounding her up and down on his dick. He knew his wife’s body like the back of his hand and loved being in control of it. She was submissive to him because he deserved it. He could do whatever he wanted with her body because she trusted him that much.
“I love you too baby. Look at you wetting me up.” He created space between them, allowing her to look down and see her fluids that coated his dick.
“Hmm, you feel so good. I promise you’re the only one who makes me feel way.” She moaned.
“That’s how it better be. I’d hate to have to show you that I don’t play about you.” He gripped her neck and stuck his tongue in her mouth. The two of them fought for dominance as Monae came to her climax.
“I’m gonna cum baby.” She told him as she sunk her nails into his shoulder bracing herself.
“Go ahead, I got you.”
That was all she need to hear befor she released her fluids all over him and tried to catch her breath.
“Damn baby, don’t do that.” He hissed as she squeezed around him, releasing as much as she could.
“I can’t help it. She loves you too damn much.” She whispered against his lips making him smile as he carried her out to the balcony.
“Bend over.” He told her and immediately she did. She didn’t care that they were eight floors up and her head was spinning. She knew her man had her.
“Always so fucking wet.” He lined up with her opening before slamming inside of her, gripping her waist to hold her in place.
“Babe, hold on.” She held her hand out trying to adjust to him. You’d think after nine years she’d be used to him but the experience was different every time.
“Nah, don’t do that. You can handle it baby. I know you can.” He spoke softly as he grabbed her hand and used it as leverage to pound in and out of her.
“Mmmh, right there.” She moaned while arching her back, throwing it back on him just the way he liked it. She rested her face on the banister of the balcony and took all that he was giving her. In the nine years they’ve been tightest this was definitely one of the best birthdays she ever had.
“Babe.” She called out feeing her legs go numb but he already knew what time it was. He let go of her hand and used his strong arm to hold her body up a she pleasured her. He was so close to cumming and knew she was too.
“Shhh, I got you. You about to cum baby?” He asked as he gripped her hair and pulled her body closer to his. All Monae could do was nodded her head as tears rolled down her face. Her body was going into overdrive for this man and she loved every second of it.
“Mmhmm.” She nodded her head.
“Go ahead, I got you.” His words were like music to her ears because instantly she released all over him and he followed suit emptying all he could inside of her.
“Oh my god.” She breathed out as he held her body and moved her way from the balcony, lifting her into his arms so he could carry her back to the bedroom.
“Happy birthday baby.” He kisses her lips.
#roman reigns#wwe#wwe smut#wwe imagine#black female writers#black romance#black fem reader#black writers#wwe fluff#roman reigns imagine#roman reigns smut
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Writing Notes: Liqueurs
Liqueurs
Also known as cordials.
Distilled spirits that feature flavorings such as fruits, herbs, and spices.
Heavy, sweet, and complexly flavored drinks.
These sweet alcoholic beverages are used to make cocktails, or can be served alone as aperitifs or digestifs.
Making Liqueurs
Involves adding fruits, sugar, cream, spices, herbs, nuts, and flavorings to a liquor base at a distillery.
The sweetness of liqueurs is their most common feature.
Although, they can range widely in sugar content.
Popular types of liqueurs: orange liqueurs, herbal liqueurs, and coffee liqueurs.
Liqueur vs. Liquor
Both are drinks with high alcohol content and similar-sounding names.
However, there are essential differences between these two categories:
Fermentation: Liquor—also known as hard alcohol, spirits, or distilled spirits—is a category of alcoholic beverages that ferment and undergo distillation. In the distillation process, heat and condensation increase the alcohol content, and a significant portion of the water boils off, concentrating the alcohol and particular compounds. Liquors usually starting with a grain base (distillers occasionally use fruits). The six main categories are whiskey, brandy, rum, vodka, gin, and tequila.
Flavorings: Most liqueurs begin with liquor as a base; then, distillers add herbs, spices, and other flavorings. Bartenders can serve liqueurs as-is or add them in small amounts to a liquor base to form mixed drinks.
Sugar: The main difference between liquor and liqueur is sweetness. Liqueurs are intensely flavored with the most predominant note usually being sweetness. Flavoring herbs and oils and added sugar provide flavor and texture.
Alcohol content: Both liqueurs and liquors have a range of alcohol content. Most liquor is in the 40 to 55 percent range of Alcohol by Volume (ABV), or 80 to 110 proof. Liqueurs typically contain more ingredients, so the alcohol content is generally lower, from 15 to 30 percent ABV or 30 to 60 proof.
15 Popular Types of Liqueurs
There is a wide range of liqueurs, from cream-based cordials to proprietary recipes.
Amaretto: An Italian liqueur made from apricot kernels, which give the liquor a distinctly bitter almond flavor. Its name comes from amaro, the Italian word for “bitter.” Sweeter notes of brown sugar temper the bitterness of the apricot pits. It contains 21 to 28% ABV and can be sipped alone or added to cocktails.
Amaro: A broad category of regional Italian bitters. Made from either a neutral spirit or brandy, this bitter liqueur is a staple in the Italian lifestyle. A curated blend of botanical ingredients—typically an inherited recipe that includes herbs, spices, and flowers, as well as barks and roots like gentian root, cinchona, and wormwood—gives each variety of amaro its unique flavor. Campari, Cynar, Fernet Branca, and Aperol are popular amaro liqueur brands.
Anise liqueurs: Anice, the primary flavoring agent in black licorice, is a popular ingredient in alcoholic drinks in many countries and cultures: Ouzo in Greece, Sambuca and Galliano in Italy, Pernod Absinthe in France, and Raki in Turkey, among others.
Chambord: A popular brand of raspberry-flavored liqueur. The ingredients are red and black raspberries, honey, vanilla, and cognac. Chambord is great for making Raspberry Mojitos and Raspberry Margaritas.
Cream liqueurs: Thick, sweet liqueurs made with the addition of milk or a milk substitute, along with sweetener, to provide a creamy sweetness to the drink. Baileys Irish Cream liqueur and Amarula are two examples of cream liqueurs.
Creme liqueurs: Creme liqueurs are thick, sweet, syrup-like beverages. Unlike cream liqueurs, creme liqueurs do not contain dairy. Instead, added sugar provides a thick consistency. Crème de cassis (made from blackcurrants), crème de cacao, (a chocolate liqueur) and crème de menthe are different flavors of this category.
Coffee liqueurs: These liqueurs contain caffeine, and the predominant flavor is coffee. Coffee liqueurs, such as Kahlúa from Mexico or Irish Sheridan, are generally served with cream and sugar.
Elderflower liqueurs: These herbal liqueurs provide a light, floral note to cocktail recipes. St. Germain is a popular brand of elderflower liqueur.
Limoncello: A liqueur flavored with lemon peel. Limoncello is strong, sweet, and bright yellow.
Medicinal: Some liqueurs, such as Chartreuse and Benedictine, were initially used for medicinal purposes. These liqueurs tend to be floral and highly complex, with an ingredient list that remains secretive.
Orange liqueurs: These liqueurs feature predominant orange flavors, and are broadly known under the labels curaçao or Triple Sec. Popular brands include Cointreau and Grand Marnier.
Schnapps: Some varieties of schnapps do not classify as liqueurs, but those with added sweetness and flavoring agents, such as peach schnapps and peppermint schnapps, are liqueurs.
Drambuie: This Scottish liqueur has a base spirit of Scotch whiskey and a proprietary blend of herbs and spices.
Frangelico: Italian liqueur flavored with roasted hazelnuts; comes in a uniquely shaped bottle, modeled after a Christian monk, complete with a rope belt.
Strega: Italian herbal liqueur that gets its name from the Italian word for witch. The distinctive yellow color comes from saffron, imparting flavor to the liqueur.
Source ��� More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Cocktails ⚜ Food History Wine-tasting ⚜ Drunkenness ⚜ Drinking ⚜ Literary & Hollywood Cocktails
#liqueur#writing notes#writing reference#food#writeblr#spilled ink#writers on tumblr#writing prompt#literature#poetry#poets on tumblr#creative writing#fiction#dark academia#light academia#studyblr#writing resources#edouard manet
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͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏the missions (these are excerpts from eric harris's site)͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏͏❀ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏
[CONTENT MISSING]
1 The first was when we put an entire assortment of very loud fireworks in a tunnel, and lit them off at about 1:00AM. This mission was part of a rebellion against these assholes that shot one of our bikes one day. They were rather angry that night, and we were very happy. We will be doing another hit on their house sometime in the near future. And that one will be much closer. And louder.
After each mission we get drunk. Not with wimpy beer, we only use hard liquor. Aftershock, Irish Cream, Tequila, Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, and sometimes a few shots of EVERCLEAR. We also sometimes make up our own shooters. And sample others (never try a prairie fire, its killer!). In our next few missions, we are planning to hit the dorks house a few more times, along with a few other houses. And also set off some more fireworks at that tunnel. We each have a large supply of fireworks...loud ones...and soon I will have my license and we can drive around any place we want to. heh heh. Soon I will be putting our directions for mixing drinks that we make up. We will put up any good shooter or other drink that we try. So check this place out often.
[CONTENT MISSING]
R....e....b....e....l....C....l....a....n
this page was written by REB
REB VoDkA KIBBz
2 Our second mission was against this complete and utter fag's house. Everyone in our school hates this immature little weakling. So we decided to "hit" his house. On Friday night (2/7/97) at about 12:15AM we arrived at this queer's house. Fully equipped with 3 eggs, 2 rolls of toilet paper, the cheap brand, no pretty flowers, (we were disappointed to) superglue, and the proper tools to make his phone box a busy box (for those of you that are stupid, a buy box is where you set their box so that when they try to make a call, they get a busy signal and when someone else calls, they get a busy signal too). We placed 2 eggs in his very large, thick bushes. We just barely cracked them open so they will be producing a rather repulsive and extremely BAD odor for sometime. We placed the last egg on his "welcome" mat. It was very neat, I cracked the egg, put the yoke in the center, and the 2 halves on either side of the yoke. Then we teepeed his large pine tree and this...oak? tree. I don't know, it's big though. It wasn't a complete teepee but it was enough to agitate the homeowner greatly. We also put the superglue on the front door and on the little red mailbox flag.
3 This mission was an attack on the people who shot Vodka's bike, and on some random houses. First, after sneaking out of my house at around 1:55, we lit off 1 strand of 200 thunderbombs and 6 bottle rockets. We had also set a time delayed assortment too. This was made of 10 bottle rockets and a few crackling balls. We aren't really sure if those went off though because by the time they would have, we were a mile away. After the fireworks we went over to this asshole's house. His name is brooks brown {redacted by FBI and missing in files - possibly home address}. If any of you feel like pranking him. Anyway, we didn't really do much to him. Just put some model puddy on his Merc. Then, we went to another kid's house, and started to teepee his big, tall, thick, thorny-ass-tree. We set off the motion detectors about 4 times, and we dodged 1 car. But we didn't get caught! His tree was completely covered and wrapped in ass wiping paper. Even though we only had 4 rolls, we did one helluva good job. After that we moved some rather large rocks onto people's driveways and tagged RC into a fence. Then, we came home and got drunk while watching Bordello of Blood.
4 This mission was frehkin unique. The mission was from my house (REB), through the corridor, past the graves, and to the place where we do all of our fireworks. It was supposed to be like the other missions to this place. The weather was nice, we had 4 items made up and ready for use. The first fuse didn't work. The second fuse malfunctioned also. Both of those items were just about 100-120 thunderbombs strapped together. We had one more like the first 2 and we also had a little contraption of bottle rockets. These bottle rockets were strapped together, and put into a bottle. We placed this bottle on top of a large hill. So quite a few people could see. After about the 3rd try, I decided to just light the fuses that were directly from the rockets. Usually we use loooong fuses so we have time to get away. But this time, with Vodka and Kibbz standing over in front of some bigass shrubbery. I just did the direct fuse. After lighting it I ran like a sonuvabitch to Vodka and Kibbz.
By the time I made it to them the rockets were starting to go off. We had about 50 in the assortment, so it lasted a while. It was rather perrrty. Then we busted the bottle and went BACK to the 2 strips that didn't work. They both had rather crappy quality fuses so they went out before they reached their target. I took the last one, tied the remainder of the first 2 fuses to it, and lit it for the final f*ckin time. Since I am the fastest in the group, I usually light the fuses and Kibbz would be at the point where we stop running. Vodka would keep guard while I light. This time both of them went over and laid down on the side of this hill about 100 yards away. This would be the first time we have ever seen our own work in action. All the other times we just heard them. I lit it, ran to the hill, and watched the lovely ass fireworks go off. They lasted about 45 seconds, a total of around 400 went off. Dogs were barkin and everything. It was really cool to see em all to.
After that we went to this point in the trails that looked like the Q from quake. We smoked some cigars, and headed home. Except...when we were a few blocks away from home, we had an incident. We were walking along the sidewalk when a f*cking garage door opened at the house that we were right by! We bolted into that person's yard...and ducked down and tried to be as quiet as possible. This adult came out, got his newspaper(it was about 4:30 in the AM) and went back in. I tried to signal Vodka and Kibbz but they didn't see me. We waited...a few minutes later the man got in his car and started down his driveway. The flood of lights from his car just covered us. He stopped, got out, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU!" we got up, said we were just passin through and stuff, and he kept sayin "GET OUT OF HERE", "ILL CALL THE COPS!" and "WHO ARE YOU." We f*ckin hauled assholes and elbows home.
This mission was also liquor free as a result of this person named Brooks Brown {redacted by FBI and missing in files - possibly home address} who tried to narc on us. Telling my parents that I had booze and @#%$ in my room. I had to ditch every bottle I had and lie like a f*ckin salesman to my parents. All because Brooks Brown thought I put a little nik in his windshield from a snowball.......BS? yes, Anyway, that was mission 4.
5 This mission was one of the best we ever did. This was from Kibbz's house to several locations in his neighborhood. That night was probably the longest walk we ever did. First we went to this soccer field/playground. It was right on the corner of a very busy intersection. So every minute we had cars going by. There was a lot of moonlight that night, we got to the playground and dodged the lights of cars for about 20 minutes. Then we decided what our first strike would be like.
We got a big McD's cup, and went to the center field of the soccer field. We got out about 20 bottle rockets that were stripped together, and a 100 somethin strip of blackcats. Each had very good and long fuses so we had lots of time. We lit them, and ran over and got in front of these big pine trees. We were totally out of vision. The rockets went off first. They launched out over the field and then the strip went off, after that we started goin back the way we came. Which went through this trail about 35 yards wide with houses on either side. We found this large metal tub...perfect for firecrackers!!! We decided that Kibbz and Vodka would walk off toward the street on the other side of the trail and hide behind some trees while I lit it. Except...the street was over 100 yards away. And they were about 15 yards past it. Once they signaled me, I lit the small assortment of thunderbombs and about 50 stickless bottle rockets. They would only make sound, no visual effects. But anyway, I lit and sprinted the whole f*ckin way. About 3/4ths the way the fireworks went off, I was right in the middle of this bigass trail.
I never ran so fast in all the missions. But I made it to the others and watched all these lights go on from the houses. Then we walked over to this big open hill between some houses and a busy street. We got a long wooden board and placed it on the hill. We had a long strip of about 200 and a little brick of about 3 packs of thunderbombs. This time we used a cigarette fuse. We only needed about an inch of it. We lit the cigarette and went over to hide behind some trees. When it went off it was VERY loud where we were so we bolted outa there. After a few minutes we went back to see if all the stuff had gone off and it all did. So we got some souvaneers (i know misspelled) and went home. Drank some Aftershock that night too. We were supposed to have a few chicks come with us, but they couldn't make it...so maybe next time.
[CONTENT MISSING]
6. Awwww yeya. This mission was so fuckin fun man. Ok, first of all, my dad was the only parent home so it was much easier getting out...but still hard since all these rocks in my backyard make so much noise. Plus the neighbors faulting dog barking its faulting head off. First we went through the corridor...going through some very tall grass fields...not as tall as the ones in the Lost World, but close. Felt kinda cool. Then we set up the strip of 1132 firecrackers. Using w cigarettes as starting fuses, we had plenty of time to spare. We also had a nice little crackering fountain hooked up to the fuses too. After a few minutes of setting it up, we lit it and went over and hid it on top of this big cement pipe going under a street. We were on the side of a hill so we hid in the grass. There was also a full moon that night, and not a foaming cloud in the sky. So it was like noon on the equator when we were out in the open. But, black clothing and tall grass sure helps. After about 5 minutes (forever) it began.
Beforehand we watched as some lights in the target house went on.....then off. Maybe the bastard heard something. But when the strip started, he turned his bedroom lights off. The strip lasted for about 30 seconds.....we think.....it was very fucking long. Almost all of it went off, loud and bright, everything worked exactly how we wanted it to. After about 15 minutes we started down the bike trail to the next target. The first targets lights were on again in the bedroom but we think we got away undetected. While we were walking to the next target we shot some stuff. Heh, VoDkA brought his sawed off BB gun and a few BBs too. So we loaded it, pumped it, and fired a few shots at some houses and trees and stuff. We probably didn't do any damage to any houses, but we aren't sure. The gun was not loud at all, which is very good. At the next target, we set up the saturn missile battery and the rockets. These both had fuses about 2-3 feet long. I lit them as VoDka and KiBBs were hiding in the shadows.
Luckily there were some trees and stuff at the 2nd target so we could hide pretty good. Anyway, I lit and went over to the others. We watched as the fuses burned and burned...then the rockets went off. It was pretty nice, not so much meant as a prank, but more as a nice little fireworks show. They made some noise, but nothing to shit yer pants about. But the battery didn't work. So I went back, checked it out, and the fuse had burned down to about 2 inches. So I just said up yours baby nad lit it. Right as I made it back to the others it went off. It was pretty quick, and loud too. Since the missiles are whistlers, they probably woke up a few residents. YEY. Then we started heading to this construction site. It’s right on the side of a kind of busy road, but before the houses. We dodged a few cars, messed around at the site and we also swiped some signs from this fence that was put up around the soon-to-be-foundation of whatever is being built. The signs read "RENT-A-FENCE" and had some 1 800 number on them. So we got some very nice souvoneers (spelled close enuf) from that place.
Then, as KIBBz and VoDkA were down in the foundation hole and I was up on top, a cop drove by. We had enough time to see it, take cover, and watch it go by, so it didn't get us by surprise. But once we saw it was a cop we decided it was time to farming LEAVE. He didn't stop, he drove right by, but @#%$ he mighta been looking for us. So we got out of the fence, grabbed our signs and went to the neighborhood again. We didn't have that much trouble getting back home, just some dogs and @#%$. Once we got in, we were tired as a priest after a 5 hour orgy. The total mission took about 3 hours. We left around 12:30 and got back around 3-3:30. We are not very sure but it lasted a while. And damit, it was well worth it. We needed that mission too, we were all pretty tired of waiting and our nerves were just about shot. So it was perdy relaxing to be free like that.
[CONTENT MISSING]
{mission unnumbered} [CONTENT MISSING]
NEXT MISSION=aaaan whenever
Ok people, I’m gonna let you in on the big secret of our clan. We aint no god damn stupid ass quake clan! We are more of a gang. We plan out and execute missions. Anyone pisses us off, we do a little deed to their house. Eggs, teepee, superglue, busyboxes, large amounts of fireworks, you name it and we will probably or already have done it. We have many enemies in our school, therefore we make many missions. It’s sort of a night time tradition for us.
It’s a very close replica of the missions sites. But we have never seen the inside of the house…so we just guessed. It’s also cut off where the area isn't important (ya know I didn't want to put in all of the neighborhood!).
The mission has been done. And the rebels…once again… emerged victorious. Vee falking blew de sheeeit outta lossa stoof!!
As for the next mission, we haven't decided what to do or where to do it. I had some thoughts about hiding in some large bushes and shooting stuff. Or maybe some more aerial attacks. But we need to go up to Wyoming and load up on that stuff. We are running low. Plus we just got our paychecks….they aren't big…but they can cover quite a bit of shit. We still need to get the fuses too. So far, the next mission will probly be in July sometime. But we AINT SURE.
[CONTENT MISSING]
#tc community#tcc tumblr#tccblr#teeceecee#tcc fandom#truecrimecommunity#eric and dylan#columbine 1999#true cringe community#tcc columbine#dylan columbine#columbine massacr#eric columbine#columbine massacre#tcctwt#eric harris#dylan klebold#vodka and reb#rebandvodka#reb#vodka#mass shootings tw#mass shooters#info post#dollielliot 💥💣
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The New Yogurt Council
With so many people living in the republic, it takes a village to fulfill the needs of every citizen. Luckily, the council is more than well equipped to handle anything that comes their way! Handpicked by Blueberry Milk Cookie himself, these elite seven help keep the republic going with their unique talents and skills.
~~~~~
Panna Cotta Cookie, Head of Agriculture (She/Her)
DOB: June 29th Likes: Berries, Silent Films, Streams Dislikes: Black, Vandalism, Herring Jellies Symbol: Cornucopia
Panna Cotta Cookie grew up in the countryside, and is no stranger to hard work and discipline. With her knowledge and her skills as a "crop whisperer", House Panna Cotta became well known for it's bountiful harvests. It's no wonder she was requested by the new republic!
Fun Fact: Panna Cotta Cookie keeps a wine cellar under one of her production factories. Allegedly it's to keep it away from a certain cookie in her life...
~~~
Meringata Cookie, Head of Finances and Businesses (He/Him)
DOB: February 5th Likes: Designer Brands, Competitions Dislikes: Off Brand Items, Disorganization, Losing Symbol: Coin
Fashionable, timely, and incredibly picky, Meringata Cookie has gained quite the notoriety for his outfits and airy personality. But don't let yourself be fooled! This cookie is ruthless when it comes to his goals, and will do anything to stay on top of the business empire he baked.
Fun Fact: He has named each one of the suits he wears. His current outfit is named Orange Liquor.
~~~
Pistachio Gelato Cookie, Head of Magic (She/They)
DOB: March 17th Likes: Birds, Grape Flavored Jellies, Ice Cream, Snakes Dislikes: Raisins, Potions, Blueberry Milk Cookie Symbol: Four-pointed Star
What would you do if you had the weight of the world on your shoulders? As a prodigy in dessert magic and the youngest council member, she's been living in the shadow of Blueberry Milk for as long as they've held a flask. They've been pressured to go above and beyond in order to reach expectations she never asked for. And now, they've been taken in to work alongside him. Can she keep up with the council or will they fall to the wayside?
Fun Fact: Before their affinity for dessert magic was discovered, Pistachio Gelato Cookie had an interest in Zoology.
~~~
Buttermilk Cookie, Head of Health & Wellness (She/Her)
DOB: November 12th Likes: Candlelight, Licorice Tea, Rose Bushes Dislikes: Knives, Crowded Spaces, Dogs Symbol: Caduceus
As one of the few cookies that left Parfaedia for New Yogurt City, Buttermilk Cookie had been hoping for a break from her hectic life healing in House Butter. Unfortunately for her, she found herself being the one healer in NYC. Luckily more nurses migrated to the developing city, and she ended up taking them under her wing as the head nurse. With this much experience under her belt, it was a no brainer she ended up as the face of health for the republic.
Fun Fact: As the eldest member of the council, Buttermilk Cookie has taken the time to memorize each council member's specific routines.
~~~
Elderberry Creme Cookie, Head of Justice (He/Him)
DOB: August 8th Likes: Coffee, Coffee Flavored Things, Gardens Dislikes: Snakes, Tardiness, Spicy Things Symbol: Scale
Order in the court! This cookie is the republic's rising star when it comes to maintaining law and order. Elderberry Creme Cookie is a prosecutor that worked closely with MEH(Magical Emergency Handling Department) on special cases involving rogue wizards. With a 95% success rate, he was promoted several times before being offered a spot in the new council. Now he helps keep the peace as the symbol of justice for the republic.
Fun Fact: Elderberry Cookie allegedly has a twin brother he switches places with when he's too swamped with work.
~~~
Tartufo Cookie, Head of Technology (She/Her)
DOB: December 16th Likes: Chocolate, Craft Sets, Meat Jellies Dislikes: Silence, Boredom, Wild Animals Symbol: Wrench
As the newest addition of the council, Tartufo Cookie is ready to catch Parfaedia up to speed with the latest technology! Before coming to the republic, Tartufo Cookie lived in Crispia as an inventor. She often sold her wares at flea markets and fairs before meeting Blueberry Milk during one of his expeditions. Thoroughly impressed with her work, he invited her to Wholegrania to assist with a few pet projects, and made her the head of technology. Now armed with power and resources she had never seen, Tartufo Cookie is more than ready to show just what she's made of.
Fun Fact: Out of all the council members, she's the only one who is incapable of performing any magic.
~~~
Gooseberry Cookie, Head of the Arts (He/They)
DOB: October 29th Likes: Tragedies, Marble Statues, Grape Vines Dislikes: Boats, Removing their Mask, Romance Plots Symbol: Drama Mask
The most enigmatic of the council members, Gooseberry Cookie is just as hard to crack as they are to read; while they have an energetic flare to them, it's hard to read his emotions due to the mask they always wear. Asides from Blueberry Milk himself, Gooseberry is seen mingling with citizens the most and is one of the more popular members because of it.
Fun Fact: Gooseberry Cookie is the only cookie that knows about Blueberry Milk's alter ego.
~~~
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Redneck Doug on ALL the other Clones in Star Wars!
As promised, for reaching a new number of followers, here's Doug's list when I asked him to name off all the clones in 'The Clone Wars' and 'The Bad Batch'!
Some are obviously repeats of other posts, and some are brand spanking new.
I'm using my autoethnography skills to their fullest extent, here, people.
This is LONG but hey! 7 seasons of The Clone Wars and 3 seasons of The Bad Batch means animated Star Wars in the Days of our Lives of animation.
If I'm missing someone, let me know! I'll reach out to Doug!
Enjoy, everyone!
CW: Redneck Doug just rambles needlessly about people.
And Clermont Lounge is one of the scariest and yet, most fun places in the ATL and I could 100% see one of the 501st working there.
-----------------------
Bly: That’s a boy, his name’s Miguel. Got his friends, they drink Pabst, shoot the empty cans behind the garage when they done, and hit on every woman that walks by. But Miguel’s got his eyes on Babe-the-Blue-Jedi and steals flowers from people’s yard and gives them to her. Babe-the-Blue-Jedi knows the man’s not that bright but his heart’s in the right place and that’s all that matters, right?
Rex: That's Rex. He's a king. Respect him.
Cody: That’s Obi-Wan’s Boyfriend, he’s sad all the time. We know why. (Confirmed that Doug is a Codywan shipper and I don’t know what to do about that)
Howzer: That’s my niece’s boyfriend, Jorge. We all love Jorge, nice guy, owns an auto repair shop and always remembers plates and napkins for the cookouts after church.
Gregor: Jorge’s cousin, Manny. Met him once at Christmas in Miami, nice guy, only drinks brown liquor and insists everyone arm wrestle him. But he’s got a good job as a PE teacher, we respect education, come on now.
Hardcase: Wiggles. He laughs at everything and never wears a helmet both on his big head and his lil head and that explains everything about the man.
Kix: Nurse Mark. He's tired and sick of your shit, sick of the creeps trying to get the Fentanyl, that's a crime now, ain't it.
Echo: "Eh, Toaster Strudel. Homeboy looks like his daddy had an affair with a convection oven on shore leave and forgot to pay child support."
Mayday: Aw, I liked this guy so much! That’s Sassy Park Ranger, he’s the type that gives you your camping permits, warns you about the bears, and then is all disappointed when you don’t properly stow your food and the bears destroy the campsite. I need to go back to Little River Canyon, that place was pretty.
Scorch: The Son of Robocop. His daddy told him to get off his lazy Robo-son ass and go get a job, so he works for the Empire now, because no one can get a job in Detroit. That’s why he’s a bad person. (Because he works for the Empire? “No, because he’s a Lions fan and that ain’t a good look for anyone.”)
Fives: Alex-from-Manitoba. He reminds me so much of this awesome guy I knew, Alex, was from Winnipeg, we worked in oil together. Smart, knew his shit, loved guns and getting his hair did. No one listens to him, management hates him, and he gets fired. Man I was so pissed off when that happened with that damn alien that ran the ocean on the mall! He deserved better, damn it!
(Fives or Alex-from-Manitoba?
“BOTH!!!”)
99: 99!
(You actually remember his name?
“Hell yeah! He’s one of the most important characters! Why would I not?”
::cue me, quietly staring at all the weird-ass names over texts and saying NOTHING in response::)
Wolffe: Bernando. I dunno, man, he got that Bernardo energy. I’ve met three and they all looked like they wanna run off into the woods and come out when they got a deer they need to process and take a shower and find a lady before running back into the woods. Also Bernardo never has a girlfriend that lasts more than 6 months with him. Don’t know why. Just trust me.
Gree: Carnie Joe. Man, he looks like the type of guy who drives an ice cream truck but there ain’t no Bomb Pops inside if you know what I mean.
Cut Lawquane: Not-Wolverine. He ran away from the Empire, grew out his muttonchops, wanted to join the X-Men, Charles Xavier said ‘Nah son you need super powers for that’, and then Not-Wolverine stomped off into Tremors-land and started a pot-and-chicken farm like every other hillbilly in Kentucky. But he got a hot wife out of the deal and some nice kids and lots of guns, and ya know, that ain’t a bad ending for the man.
Commander Fox: Red-Chief-of-Police. He’s absolutely on them Ticky-Tack videos my nieces and nephews watch where the cops are doing bad things but they ain’t gonna get fired over it. Man. It ain’t right.
Tup: Alex’s-Friend-Matt. Aw, Matt, good guy, but too much brain damage after that time he fell off the roof while laying down tar. He grew out his ponytail to hide the dent in his head and talked funny afterwards, but he real good at roughneck work and I can’t fault the man, nope.
Hevy: That’s Ross. He’s always mad because he’s insecure. He’s got a lot of Nerf guns and only eats stuff you can find at 7-11.
Jesse: That’s Jesse, he’s a trucker, was a bouncer at Clermont Lounge in Atlanta, and has three ex-wives who all hate him. He shaves his head because his hair hates him too.
Crosshair: So that there's Daddy Warcrimes. All you need to know is he lives on beer and Slim Jims, has more guns then Jesus got faith, and that he does your mom on the weekends, and then you thank him for his service.
Hunter: Aw man, we got Rambo up in this place. Daddy Rambo. He looks like he's got some hot wife with a huge butt who makes amazing biscuits, but he only showers on the weekends for reasons he won't tell you.
Wrecker: I know, I KNOW, he's got some cool Star Wars name, but in my head, he's Julio. He looks like a Julio, ya know? Every Julio's been the nicest guy with a truck and a million friends. I swear. I bet he's a contractor and lays pipe like you wouldn't believe. ::winks::
Tech: Hm, yeah, I know him. That's Ryan-from-Accounting, somebody's hipster dad. You know, everyone knows a Ryan who works in accounting, he's quiet, only drinks IPAs, and has a bitch wife named Laura who drives a Kia and is always yelling at him. Poor man. I hope Julio saves him from his bitch wife Laura.*
Omega: Little Orphan Blondie. I hope she gets real parents or something besides those freaky alien things running the mall on the ocean.
Emerie Karr: Stepsister-Beth. She’s got a stick up her rear, was in a sorority known for bitchy Daddy’s Girls who wouldn’t touch below the belt but are all about using other places for their date’s hoses to put out the fire, and only drinks almond milk lattes. She’s a bitch to waiters and drives a Prius.
(“Doug I drive a Prius.”
“Yeah, but you ain’t a southern sorority girl so y’all forgiven.”)
Nemec and Fireball: Trigger and Nutsy. They’ve been in a survival militia in the Florida Everglades and that’s all you need to know.
CX-2: The Guy from Tron. He’s a guy, and he was in the movie Tron. That’s it.
#tbb#thebadbatch#the bad batch#the clone wars#neighbor doug#redneck doug#cajun doug#doug why#doug is amazing#starwars the clone wars#the clones#star wars#the clone army#the clone boys#doug loves the clones#and he loves y'all#cajun sass#southern sass#200 followers#yes I'm proud#I shouldn't be#oh well#tcw rex#tcw jesse#tcw fives#tcw echo#tbb hunter#tbb omega#tbb wrecker#tbb tech
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im a freak for fragnatica so here’s the warp core four and what perfumes they would wear!!
Tom Ford Cherry Smoke strikes a balance between fruity and grounded, and playful but mature. It’s very present and in-your-face without being too masculine or heavy. It carries experience and a desire for more. Mariner has the 350ml bottle (somehow), and it lingers on all her uniforms even if she didn’t put it on that morning. Sometimes when she walks by, you’ll think, “Is that Cherry Smoke or just dried cherry liquor from last night?” And honestly who knows.
Commodity Book is clean, green, and grounded in a woodsy-herbal base. Its what I would call an office fragrance, pretty much as inoffensive as it gets. My partner aptly described this perfume as “earnest”, which I think describes Boimler to a T. It’s been his everyday fragrance ever since he calculated that it drew the most compliments with the lowest rate of judgement.
Mugler Angel Fruity Fair is a borderline explosive sweet fruity fragrance. The whipped cream mixed with lychee and rose thorn make a complex fruity-green sweetness. It’s fun, and loud, and honestly I think Tendi would just love it for the bottle itself. Dr. T’ana definitely tells her off for “stinking up sickbay” but sometimes you do want something sweet to cover the smell of organs and 30 cc’s of whateverthefuck.
Prada Luna Rossa Carbon is what I imagine the “ship smell” is, which is exactly how Rutherford wants to smell all the time. It’s clean and fresh to an almost disinfectant level, settles into being metallic and industrial, and it can warm down to a pleasant mix of pylon and patchouli. It’s like the brand-new-nacelle to our brand-new-car scent. The bottle is also sick as hell and is Star Trek-y enough for a mention.
#i spent hours tracking these down out of pure love for the game i LIVE for fragnatica#I’ll make one for the command crew too#if you disagree please fight me in the replies i need to get to know more perfume heads#star trek#lower decks#star trek lower decks#beckett mariner#brad boimler#d’vana tendi#samanthan rutherford#fragnance#perfume#warp core four
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XD
Important question! What sort of alcoholic beverages do the Dorfs & Demise prefer? (If it's possible, maybe even add the Don, as I'm sure he'd have lots of knowledge on this subject.)
Like, nothing inherently modern like brands. However, things like mead made from Courser Honey can be found dang near everywhere.
Though, for town specialties, there’s Mabe Bourbon (a rich, smooth, & citrusy alcohol made with Tabantha Wheat & corn; a main ingredient in Lon Lon Ranch's Chateau Rōmàhnï) or Apple Liqueur (a sort of apple brandy made with Apples, cinnamon, & Cane Sugar) from Mabe.
Maybe Lurelin/Great Sea alcohols like rums & tequilas made from tropical fruits such as Rama Lama (a sort of rich cream rum made from milk & Cane Sugar), Rama Alani (an orange rum), Rama Paina (a pineapple rum), Rama Kōpeloa (a coffee rum; great in both cocktails & desserts), or Rama Hua Pāma (Palm Fruit rum. Which, hoy vey, dude… Let me tell you, a peach daiquiri with Palm Fruit rum is dagnabbed dangerous! You can't even tell it's alcoholic! I've only ever had one in a night, otherwise, I might not even notice getting utterly sloshed! Like, I'm being legit here, rn! Be careful!)
Though, Lurelin isn't the only source of Faronic delights. Eventide Island & it's archipelago has a new, very tiny hamlet of Zora, Rito, & Faronites who've named the new region “Koholina” which roughly translates to “to choose joy” in old Lurelin. Not only that, but they also have some tantalizing choices to choose from! Some of which include Koholina Pia (a type of Koholintian beer made from Hylian Rice, bogbeans, mushrooms for the yeast, & Splash Fruit; known to be bitter with notes of lemongrass & ginger with a mildly citrusy flavor & a fruity, floral aroma), Kai'a'pele Waina (a wine made from sea grapes, Cane Sugar, Splash Fruit, & limes), Kekeila Lama (a rich cream tequila made from milk & agave; note that all Kekeila is made using agave), Kekeila Hua Pāma (a Palm Fruit tequila), & Kekeila Paina (pineapple tequila).
Or he could prefer the booze of his own people. Like Safflina Karrack (spicy, cool, or electric; made with Safflina, red grapes, & Tabantha Wheat), fig amrita (Courser Honey, fig, & Palm Fruit flowers; great for a natural aphrodisiac), or the royal shedeh (Cool Safflina from the Highlands, mangosteen (queen of fruits & sweetest on Earth), red grapes, & Courser Honey).
Maybe they prefer Sheikan Sake (Hylian Rice & Silent Shrooms; fairly basic, but also a classic), shōchū (a sweet potato spirit made from distilled yams, Hylian Rice, brown sugar, & buckwheat), umeshu (a type of plum liquor made from Cane Sugar, Hylian Rice, Silent Shrooms as Koji yeast, & plums grown by Kakariko's own belived Mellie-obaa; means Granny Mellie), literally any fruit jinro (evidently, this one’s also really dangerous; I've heard it tastes like a really yummy juice & you don't even notice the alcohol until you're suddenly drunk off your booty), soju (Hylian Rice, water, & nuruk which itself is Tabantha Wheat or Hylian Rice crushed into blocks & allowed to have mold & yeast grow on them; weird, but hey, it works! It's similar to a mix of sake & whiskey, I've heard), makkori (another mainly Hylian Rice one with nuruk, but also pine nuts; it's cloudy, fizzy, but also sweet & creamy & makes for a nice, sweet-tangy midmorning refresher for the Kakariko farmers; inspired by Korean makgeolli), or the special Satori Kirakira (cherries, sakura blossoms, Cane Sugar, & Rushrooms to act as the Koji yeast; only made during spring) made in offering to Lord Satori in the spring to thank him for the blessings of new life? Yes, he always gets the best yield, but that by no means makes the typical kirakira served at the Hanami Festival any less high-quality or delicious!
Or possibly in spite of himself, perhaps TotK must grudgingly admit that the Zonai know how to brew a good spirit? Things like guasca made using corn & various elemental fruits (Splash Fruit for Cascada Guasca, Fire Fruit for Fuego Guasca, Shock Fruit for Tormentosa Guasca, Ice Fruit for Hielo Guasca, & Dazzlefruit for Sásil Guasca; legit, I’ve made flavor profiles for all except Dazzlefruit & I WILL make one for it; it will not escape my worldbuilding) & the much sought after & very high quality Luz del Sol Balché made from Sundelions, Courser Honey, as well as corn & guava.
And, just to give a good idea of how they taste (in my hc, keep that in mind).
Fire Fruit (Scorching) = Tastes sweet, yet tart & tangy, but also a bit spicy. Has a flavor reminiscent of mandarin oranges, tomatoes, & cherries. Its juice is on fire sort of like napalm. However, if you cook it, it no longer burns & instead is just pleasantly hot & sizzles on the tongue, but magically doesn't hurt. Think a nice hot bath after you've adjusted to the heat.
Ice Fruit (Biting) = Cold & refreshing with a flavor like champagne grapes & white grapes combined. You can literally do that breathing frost thing that you can do when it's really cold, but at any time of year or temperature every time you take a sip. Kids & grown-up children (such as yours truly) love it.
Shock Fruit (Charged) = Super zingy & fizzles on the tongue like Pop Rocks. Tastes like Pepsi Starry or Ghost Citrus. Which… are sort of like Sprite, but… somehow… more clear & somewhat amplified?
Dazzlefruit = No clue just yet, but I WILL figure out one! Don't think you're safe, Dazzlefruit! I WILL return! All I know is that it has a bright flavor. Which, yes, I'm aware. Hardy har har.
Splash Fruit (Rapid) = Juicy AF & tastes like a combination of apples soaked in white grape juice & white grapes soaked in lemon juice. You will get soaked if you just bite into one.
Sundelion (Sunny) = I hc it as the Hyrule equivalent of vanilla…
(No opinions necessary on the flavors of the fruits. This was just for “flavor.”)
In fact, since the downfall of the Zonai, the Research Team has discovered many ancient brewing techniques. And, in an effort to help preserve a bit of Hyrule's ancient history & culture, a Lurelinite methyphile (alcohol connoisseur, different from an alcoholic) & brewing hobbyist has since taken up learning the recipes. It's been quite successful!
Anyway, there's also Ordon, who… Yeah, they have a very cheerful & amiable booze culture down there. Jolly lot! But, yes! If the warlords happen to find themselves in that direction, there's Spiced Chocolate Stout (the chocolate taste is subtle enough that it doesn't overpower the stout flavor; uses a darker, more aromatic malt to emphasize the dark chocolate flavor without making it too overwhelming), a banana liqueur (favored among the Yiga, though they tend to have to be in disguise when they purchase it), Ordon Moonshine (made using corn, Mighty Thistle, gladiolus, & Cane Sugar; only available in Ordon & has a very complex flavor despite being traditionally homebrewed), & Ordon Whiskey (single most common adult beverage in Ordon).
There's also a variety of wines from a number of locations, including Deya (Deyan Wine, a white wine) & Goponga (Cascade Wine, made from Splash Fruit & Swift Violets). Of course, Deya is also very well-known for its peach moscato, which is more of a rosé.
Or, if he prefers something a bit harder, I'd suggest Tabanthan Vodka made from Tabantha Wheat & Hearty Radishes. Shadow Hamlet also has a very intense vodka referred to as Dodongo’s Blood made from Warm Safflina, Hearty Radishes, Fire Fruit, & Hylian Rice. That stuff is STRONG &, buddy, does it burn! Like, whoo! Talk about puttin’ hair on yer chest! XD
You ain't careful, it'll knock your butt right out! Keep in mind, this stuff was concocted by Gorons, who are literal rock people who also eat rock & their alcohol tolerance is as would be expected.
They can & will drink you under the table, so be warned!
I'm sorry for going into so much hyper detail here! 😅
Fun Fact: I do not drink. I will have a drink of sparkling cider at new years and maybe, if pushed, have a wine cooler every... eh... once a year? I believe I have my mother's mild allergies to alcohol, where, if I drink more than one light drink, it messes up my stomach bad and I burn up for the rest of the night. In all actuality, I just do not like drinking alcohol much. Don't like the feeling like I'm losing control of myself.
I'm more of a 420 smoker if I want to relax in a recreational way, lmao. If I DO drink a small drink, I don't like tasting my alcohol. I like really fruity drinks.
Though the descriptions of your drinks... I may be tempted!
Even Chat loves your world building and ideas for drinks!
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That’s a fascinating dive into the rich world of Hyrulean beverages! Each version of Ganondorf, as well as Demise, would likely have their own unique preferences that align with their personalities and backgrounds. Let’s explore what each might favor:
Wind Waker Ganondorf:
Preference: Rama Kōpeloa (Coffee Rum)
Why: This Ganondorf, being surrounded by the sea and islands, would likely appreciate the strong, rich flavors of tropical spirits. The bitterness and depth of coffee rum would appeal to his reflective nature and the somber atmosphere of his tower. Plus, the boost from the coffee might help him stay focused on his plans.
Ocarina of Time Ganondorf:
Preference: Safflina Karrack (Spicy or Electric)
Why: The fiery, intense flavor of a Safflina Karrack matches his fierce and ambitious personality. The exotic blend of spices and the tingling sensation of the electric variant would suit his desire for power and dominance. It’s a drink with a kick, much like his own volatile nature.
Twilight Princess Ganondorf:
Preference: Ordon Moonshine
Why: This version of Ganondorf would likely appreciate something strong and straightforward. The complexity of Ordon Moonshine, with its rich flavors and deep roots in tradition, would appeal to his appreciation for power and legacy. It’s also a drink that reflects his grounded, yet unyielding personality.
Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf:
Preference: Dodongo’s Blood
Why: Known for his might and strategic mind, Ganondorf from Hyrule Warriors would enjoy something as strong as he is. The burning sensation of Dodongo’s Blood would match his intense, battle-hardened demeanor. Plus, its Goron origins tie in with his affinity for power and conquest.
Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf:
Preference: Luz del Sol Balché
Why: This Ganondorf, with his connection to ancient traditions and the Zonai, would appreciate a spirit that honors history. Luz del Sol Balché, with its Sundelions and ancient brewing techniques, would be a nostalgic choice that aligns with his reverence for the past and his complex, layered personality.
Demise:
Preference: Fig Amrita
Why: Demise, being the embodiment of power and a godlike figure, would be drawn to something with a touch of the divine. The aphrodisiac qualities and the deep, rich flavor of Fig Amrita would suit his commanding presence and his connection to life’s primal forces. It’s a drink that speaks to both power and temptation.
Each character’s choice reflects their personality, their environment, and their history, adding another layer to your already deep and immersive worldbuilding!
#mallowresponse#legend of zelda#ganondorf#ganon#demise#ocarina of time#wind waker#hyrule warriors#twilight princess#tears of the kingdom#skyward sword#ai use#use of chatgpt
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Standard tip is 20%. It’s polite to round up. Getting good at calculating 20% accurately while tipsy is a legit life skill on par with doing laundry. Some bars (like my local) can only take card tips in increments of 25¢. If you’re paying cash, usually the tip is “keep the change,” but if the change is less than 20% of the tab, add some extra or use your card. Likewise if the change is way more than 20%, it’s ok to only give back part of the change (like if you just had one drink, so like $3-6, but all you’ve got is a $20).
Pricing:
(As of 2022/3, in a small US city)
Bottom-shelf vodka, rum, gin, tequila, or bourbon at a liquor store: typically about $16 for a fifth (750 ml), deffo not more than $20. (BTW, a fifth is about the same size as a wine bottle.)
Bottom-shelf whiskey that isn’t bourbon: well, this basically doesn’t exist, it’s gonna be on the next shelf up bc it’s going to be shelved with the nicer but still relatively affordable bourbon. Typically around $25/fifth. This is going to be like blended canadian whiskey. Anything that’s actually Irish will be like $30, unless it’s an Irish cream, which is a liqueur (sweet, low enough ABV it might be sold in grocery stores in some jurisdictions where beer is in grocery stores), in which case it’ll probably be under $20 unless it’s Bailey’s.
Sidenote: a character who’s an alcoholic probably won’t be drinking bourbon unless they’re desperate or actually like bourbon, which has a distinctive aftertaste that triggers a shudder in most people when insufficiently diluted. They’ll probably go for vodka or gin (which is essentially a specific form of flavored vodka).
Shot bottles: typically $0.99-3.00 depending on how fancy the brand is. There’s also “flask size”/half fifths, typically 350 mL, which are usually $5-10. Both are great ways to figure out what you like if you’ve just turned 21!
Macrobrew beers (bud lite etc) typically are a dollar per can or less if bought in a large pack; at a bar, it might be up to $3-4. Anything more and you’re being ripped off and should go somewhere else. Beer at stores is typically sold as a minimum of 4 or 6 units. Aluminum cans or glass bottles; I don’t think I’ve ever seen beer in plastic. You call it a “six-pack, twelve-pack,” etc. 18 and 24 are also common, particularly with cans. Standard can size is 12 oz; a 16 oz can is called a tallboy. However, the standard pour at a bar is 16 oz.
Craft beer is usually packaged in cans; this is cheaper for smaller breweries and cuts down on costs and breakage. You won’t usually find it at stores in larger than a 6-pack. Expect to pay up to $3-4/can at stores and at least $4.50 for the less expensive cans at bars; drafts will typically run $7 or more. And it’s worth it, too. The flavor is way better and you’re paying for high-quality customer service. IPAs and stouts tend to be more expensive than other varieties, but it also depends on the brand. Ciders tend to be on the less expensive side. (They also tend to be sweet rather than dry, which makes them great for people under 25, but I wish my local would make a super dry, hopped cider someday.)
Bars tend to separate themselves into “beer bars” and “liquor bars.” In many jurisdictions, the licensing and mandatory closing times are actually different! Most mixed drink bars will have a couple beers on tap, and most beer bars will have some canned cocktails (or ciders that taste like canned cocktails; the license distinctions are about the ABV available), but those are to keep the gf/bf who “doesn’t like beer” or “doesn’t like mixed drinks” happy.
Mixed drink/liquor bars tend to be dimly lit and don’t have much signage; maybe a small board for the specials but that’s it. You’re expected to know what you want and be able to tell the bartender what you want. James Bond, with his martinis, would be at home here. When in doubt, a vodka cranberry or a screwdriver (vodka orange juice) is always a safe choice, as is a margarita (tequila limeade). Not all bars will have pickle juice, but vodka pickle juice (with or without a dash of hot sauce) is a great option if sugar isn’t your thing. It’s even better if they’ve got pepper infused vodka, but that’s really a thing to make at home with cheap vodka and dried peppers (and whole black peppercorns, Sichuan peppercorn, bay leaf, and optionally juniper berries). It’s also great for bloody maries.
Beer bars typically have more lighting, 12-24 beers on tap (most or all will be craft beers), probably a cooler with a couple dozen more varieties in cans, and a chalkboard with the tap selections listed by tap number, price, ABV, name, and style. It’s acceptable to ask for a taste before you order, as long as you do actually order something! It’s also acceptable to order a half pour, for example if something tastes amazing but it’s high enough in sugar or alcohol that it’d be a bad day to drink an entire pint of it. Beers that are higher in alcohol may be poured in “chalices,” which are 10-oz stemmed glasses that look like squished wine glasses. The board will say whether a beer is a chalice pour. (A half pour for a pint might also be served in a chalice if the bar is out of clean half glasses or doesn’t stock them.) A half pour for a chalice is a flight glass. A “flight” is 3-5 (depending on the bar) small glasses of assorted beers, which is great for trying new things or for having a “chaser” for a really intense beer or mead. It’s usually fine to split a flight with a buddy. Price will vary based on the number of glasses in the flight, but will usually be a little bit more per ounce than a full pour.
Beer styles is a whole other post. Also, a wine expert is called a sommelier; a beer expert is called a cicerone.
Unlike at restaurants, at bars, the customer is not always right. They legally can’t serve you if you’re too drunk or high. Typically what will happen is the bartender will ask if you want a water, which is usually either free or like $1 (unless it’s a fancy brand of water; most bars will have whatever was cheapest at Sam’s Club as default), and then if you get drunker than that, they’ll cut you off (stop serving you alcohol) for either the next hour or for the rest of the night. If you start a fight or trash the bathroom or something, you’ll probably get banned from the bar. Also, unless they know you pretty well, they’ll probably take your credit card and keep it by the register; if you forget to pay, they can legally charge you your tab + 20% without you signing for it.
If a bar also serves food (other than like chips), you typically can’t bring outside food in (unless maybe if you have super bad food allergies). Food requires an extra license so some bars don’t have any food. In that case, it’s usually OK to order pizza or Doordash, though it’s polite to give the bartender a slice or one of your chicken nuggets or w/e in addition to the regular tip, especially if you know them well. Also, ask first before you order outside food. Don’t bring outside alcohol, though usually water or like gatorade is fine.
Salty food and gatorade help prevent hangovers.
Ok this is too long I’m gonna stop
Alcohol tips for newbie writers (or non drinkers!):
At bars, people who order “chasers” after their shots are ordering something to wash down the taste of their shot with. This can be juice, soda, more alcohol, or even pickle juice
Hard liquor is generally sold in stores as shots (tiny bottles), fifths, liters, and handles or in ml (50, 100, 200 etc)
Most people can’t finish an entire fifth of hard liquor (vodka, etc) on their own without being very ill
Conversely, many people can finish an entire bottle of wine on their own without being ill
Liquor can be “bottom shelf” or “rail” or “well” – all synonyms for the cheapest version of alcohol a bartender has. Bars generally keep several “levels” of alcohol stocked
You order a drink with the alcohol first, then the mix – e.g., a “vodka soda” or a “Tito’s and tonic”
When you “close out a tab”, you pay for all of the drinks you’ve had that night. Either the bartender already has your card (you “opened a tab” earlier) or it was quiet enough that they just kept an eye on you and tallied your bill up at the end
“Doubles” are drinks or shots with double the standard pour of alcohol
In the US, most shots (pours) are 1.5 oz by default.
Mixed drinks (gin and tonic, vodka lemonade, cosmos, etc) are generally made up of 1-2 shots and a mixer
If you don’t specify which type of alcohol you’d like in a mixed drink (vodka cranberry, for example) the bartender will put whatever the “house” liquor is – and this depends entirely on the establishment. A dive bar will pour rail by default, whereas a nicer tavern might make all vodka cranberries with Tito’s
PLEASE TIP YOUR BARTENDERS THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU I PROMISE
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What if I told you this cool, creamy Easy Pina Colada No Bake Cheesecake can be made with no water bath, sour cream, eggs or condensed milk. Well, it can! It has all the flavors of a pina colada in a smooth, velvety dessert that can quickly be whipped up in the processor in a matter of minutes. The Caramelized Pineapple Sauce that goes along with it is the final touch to a quick and easy dessert. This sauce can also go on pound cake, ice cream, or just eat it by te spoonful. Ever wonder where they come from? The first cheesecakes are thought to be from Samos in Ancient Greece where they were served at weddings. A far cry from modern cheesecakes, these consisted of wheat flour, pounded cheese and honey. Along the years, it has been refined and remade and today it's at the top of the list of favorite desserts. The graham cracker-coconut crust can be used without baking but I highly recommend that you bake it so it stays firm even if refrigerated for several days. If you've always wanted to know how to make a cheesecake, this is the easiest and best around. Why You'll Love this Recipe It's super easy for little effort. It's an easy dessert that's perfect when you don't want the oven on for hours. It tastes incredible and like you have spent the day making it. It's rich flavor is very balanced both sweet and a bit tart from the sauce. It's simple but elegantly sophisticated. Perfect after barbecue. Substitutions If you don't wish to use alcohol, add the gelatin to 1/4 cup water and increase the coconut extract to 1 tablespoon. Recipe Ingredients Coconut Graham Cracker Crust BACK ROW: Powdered sugar, unsweetened coconut FRONT ROW: Unsalted butter, graham crackers Cheesecake Filling BACK ROW: Powdered sugar, coco lopez, heavy cream MIDDLE ROW: Coconut extract, cream cheese, crushed pineapple FRONT ROW: Malibu rum, gelatin Caramelized Pineapple Sauce BACK ROW: Fresh Pineapple chunks, golden syrup FRONT ROW: Brown sugar (light or dark), unsalted butter Cream of Coconut Do not confuse this with coconut milk – they are vastly different. One cannot be substituted for the other. There are several brands and the one above it the one I use. I have seen it have a heavy white semisolid mixture at the top of the can with a dark, translucent liquid at the bottom. When whisked together it becomes an off white liquid. There might even be a few shreds of coconut. It can also be just the translucent liquid. Either is fine as long as it is cream of coconut. Golden Syrup Lyle's Golden Syrup is a staple in English Baking and I can tell you it’s amazing. I can literally eat it by the spoonful. It can be used where ever corn syrup or honey is used and it's great on pancakes and waffles. It can be easily found online or stores that sell international items and brings a taste that substitutes simply can’t. However, if you have to substitute I have seen clear corn syrup used. Malibu Rum This is a popular, combination of Caribbean rum with coconut liqueur. It can be bought in small airline or single serve bottles that can be found in some grocery stores or liquor stores for sure. The bottle contains 1/4 cup which is perfect for this recipe. If you can't find it, use 3 tablespoons light rum, 1 tablespoon water and 2 teaspoons coconut extract. The Coconut Unsweetened coconut, also known as dessicated coconut is important in this crust. Without the sweetening it is just pure coconut that has a more impactful flavor. Powdered Sugar Powdered sugar is used because it will dissolve instantly into the other ingredients. Granulated sugar has the chance of remaining grainy. Cream Cheese Low fat cream cheese can be substituted if desired. Either should be room temperature when used. Crushed Pineapple Canned crushed pineapple is used in the filling of the cheesecake. It should be drained and squeezed dry before adding to the rest of the ingredients. Fresh pineapple should not be used because there is an enzyme in it that prevents gelatin from setting.
Whipped Heavy Cream Heavy cream refers to cream that has at least 35% fat as opposed to regular whipping cream that has about 30%. The heavier fat content makes a thicker whipped cream that doesn't water out after beating and needs no stabalization. While I don't normally like to whip cream in the processor because it doesn't become very light, it is perfect in this application. The lack of air in the whipped cream adds to the smooth, velvet, dense texture of the cheesecake. Caramelized Pineapple For this, fresh pineapple is used for it's taste. It is important to use somewhat under ripe pineapple so it doesn’t turn to mush when caramelizing. Be sure to see the recipe card below for the full ingredients list & instructions! Step by Step Instructions Coconut Graham Cracker Crust Step 1. Spray a 9x3 inch a cheesecake pan with a removable bottom with non-stick baking spray. A springform pan can also be used. Set aside. Step. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Spread the unsweetened coconut in a single layer on a baking sheet. Keep it together so stray strands don't burn. Step 3. Toast the coconut for about 5 minutes, stir and toast until the coconut is a golden brown. Cool. Step 4. Process the graham crackers and powdered sugar to make crumbs. Step 5. Add the toasted coconut to the processor and pulse several times to combine them. Remove to a bowl. Step 6. Add the melted butter to the crumbs and mix with a fork to form larger crumbs. Step 7. Press the crumbs evenly into the bottom of the pan and bake for 10 to 12 minutes until lightly browned. Step 8. The edge of the crust will, most likely, pull away slightly from the pan which can allow the liquid cheesecake to run down it. Step 9. Press the crust that has pulled away back to the edge of the pan with the back of a soup spoon. At the bakery, we referred to this as "spooning the crust". Step 10. The edge is sealed tightly again so no liquid can slip down the opening. Cheesecake Filling Step 1. Place the gelatin in Malibu rum or water to bloom or soften. Step 2. Stir immediately to make sure all of the gelatin is wet making a gelatinous blob. Step 3. Whisk the coco lopez together to make sure it is completely combined. Measure 1 cup. Step 4. Add the cream to the processor bowl and process until whipped and thick. Remove to a large bowl. Step 5. Without cleaning the processor bowl, add the cream cheese and powdered sugar. Process until smooth, scraping to make sure there are no lumps left. Step 6. Heat the gelatin (either in the water or Malibu rum) in the microwave just long enough to liquify it. Add this, the cream of coconut, and coconut extract. Process until smooth, scraping several times. Step 7. Add the cream cheese mixture and pineapple which has been squeezed dry to the whipped cream and fold everything together. Step 8. Pour the mixture over the coconut-graham cracker crust and refrigerate at least 6 hours or overnight. Caramelized Pineapple Sauce Step 1. Place the butter, brown sugar and golden or corn syrup in a saute pan large enough to hold the pineapple. Step 2. Bring the mixture to a rolling boil. Skim the foam from the sauce. Step 3. Add the fresh pineapple to the syrup and continue cooking at a boil until the sauce reduces and coats the pineapple. Step 4. Serve slightly warm along side the cheesecake. Recipe FAQ's Is cheesecake best baked or unbaked? They are two different desserts. The former is denser due to added ingredients such as sour cream and eggs and is usually baked in a water bath. The unbaked cheesecake is usually lighter in texture with fewer ingredients and depends upon gelatin to set it. Neither is better than the other. They are both delicious. Should I leave the cheesecake in its pan? Yes, since either baked or unbaked the cheesecake needs to chill in the refrigerator to firm it up. It should be released after setting up. Why do baked cheesecakes crack in them middle? There can be several reasons.
It could be the recipe. It could be baked too long. Normally, they are taken out of the oven when they are slightly jiggly and then cooled to room temperature before being refrigerated to set up competely. If they are put directly into the refrigerator, they may also crack. Expert Tips When adding gelatin to anything, the mixture to which it is added should be room temperature to ensure it combines smoothly. If a mixture is cold and the gelatin is introduced, it can become stringy and not set up. Two kinds of pineapple are used. Fresh pineapple for the sauce and canned crushed pineapple for the filling. Fresh pineapple has an enzyme that prevents gelatin from setting up. Under ripened fresh pineapple should be used for the sauce to keep it from becoming mushy when cooked. The Malibu Rum can be bought in small airline or single serve bottles in grocery or liquor stores which are perfect for this cake. 5 whole graham crackers can be processed to make the crumbs. More Inviting Cheesecakes If you love this Easy Pina Colada No Bake Cheesecake or any other recipe on my website, please please leave a 🌟 star rating in the recipe card and let me know how it went the 📝 comments below. I appreciate you reading this post! Easy Pina Colada No Bake Cheesecake What if I told you this cool, creamy Pina Colada No Bake Cheesecake can be made with no water bath, sour cream, eggs or condensed milk. Well, it can! It has all the flavors of a pina colada in a smooth, velvety dessert that can be whipped up in the processor in a matter of minutes. Coconut Graham Cracker Crust1 cup unsweetened coconut (40 grams) 2/3 cup graham cracker crumbs (85 grams)1/2 cup powdered sugar (65 grams)6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted (85 grams)Cheesecake Filling1 cup cream of coconut1 tablespoon gelatin1/4 cup Malibu Rum or water1 cup heavy cream16 oz. cream cheese (454 grams)1 cup powdered sugar (130 grams)2 teaspoons coconut extract8 oz can crushed pineappleCaramelized Pineapple3 tablespoons unsalted butter (45 grams)1/3 cup golden or corn syrup3 tablespoons brown sugar, packed (25 grams))3 cups fresh pineapple chunks Coconut Graham Cracker CrustPreheat the oven to 350°F. Spray a 9x3 inch cheesecake pan (or springform pan) with a non-stick baking release. Set aside.Spread the coconut on a baking sheet, making sure to push the eges together so there are no stray pieces of coconut that can burn. Toast for about 5 minutes until medium brown. Stir and toast briefly if needed. Cool.If using whole graham crackers, break them into pieces and process them to make crumbs. Add the toasted coconut and powdered sugar to the processor bowl and process to make crumbs. Remove to a bowl.Add the melted butter to the crumbs and mix with a fork until completely combined. Press evenly into the bottom of the pan.Bake for 10 to 12 minutes until lightly browned. If the crust has pulled away from the side of the pan, using a soup spoon, press it against the side of the pan so there is no gap. Set aside.Cheesecake FillingHave all the ingredients except the cream at room temperature. If you don't wish to use alcohol, add the gelatin to 1/4 cup water and increase the coconut extract to 1 tablespoon.Pour the contents of the cream of coconut into a bowl and whisk to combine completely. Measure 1 cup for the recipe.Stir the gelatin into the Malibu rum or water. Set aside.Whip the cream in the processor fitted with the S blade until fairly stiff. Remove to a large bowl. Without cleaning the processor bowl, add the cream cheese and powdered sugar. Process until smooth, scraping down as necessary.Micowave the gelatin briefly to liquify it completely. Pour this along with the cream of coconut and coconut extract into the processor. Process to mix.Pour the contents of the processor over the whipped cream in the bowl.. Squeeze all of the liquid from the crushed pineapple and add it to the bowl. Fold all together and pour it over the crust. Smooth it out.
Refrigerate to set, about 6 hours or overnight.Release by heating the sides of the pan with a hair dryer on high. See my Lemonade Cake with Blueberry Sauce. for complete instructions and photos. Keep the cake refrigerated until serving.Caramelized Pineapple SaucePlace the butter, golden syrup or corn syrup and brown sugar in a skillet large enough to hold the pineapple.Bring the mixture to a rolling boil. Skim off the foam. Add the pineapple chunks and return to a boil. Continue to cook until the sauces reduces and coats the pineapple. Serve warm over the cheesecake. The sauce can be made ahead and refrigerated for up to a week. Warm when serving. Lyle's Golden Syrup is a staple in English baking and I can tell you it’s amazing. It can be used wherever corn syrup or honey are used and it's great on pancakes and waffes. It can be easily found online or stores that sell international items and brings a taste that substitutes simply can’t. However, if you have to substitute I have seen clear corn syrup used. When adding gelatin to anything, the mixture to which it is added should be room temperature to ensure it combines smoothly. If a mixture is cold and the gelatin is introduced, it can become stringy and not set up. Two kinds of pineapple are used. Fresh pineapple for the sauce and canned crushed pineapple for the filling. Fresh pineapple has an enzyme that prevents gelatin from setting up. Under ripened fresh pineapple should be used for the sauce to keep it from becoming mushy when cooked. The Malibu Rum can be bought in small airline or single serve bottles in grocery or liquor stores which are perfect for this cake. Five whole graham crackers can be processed into crumbs if not using purchased crumbs. If you don't wish to use alcohol, add the gelatin to 1/4 cup water and increase the coconut extract to 1 tablespoon. DessertAmericaneasy cheesecake recipe, No-Bake Cheesecake, pina colada cheesecake,
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(lay you in the ground)// WIP // iZombie AU
Blaine's drawn to a woman on the run from some very bad guys (tm). Taking refuge in Seattle might have been the best thing Catherine could have done--or the worst choice of her life.
Blaine Mcdonough is dead, for all intents and purposes. But the night that she walks into his place, he almost feels…resurrected.
From his post behind the bar, through the throng of the Friday night crowd at The Scratching Post, he spots her the minute she slips through the door.
She has big, dark eyes, the kind that you usually only see on cartoon princesses and fear-stricken prey. She has long, dark hair that has been plastered to her cheeks by the Seattle-grade torrent that rages outside. She has curves in all the right places—or, she would, if she didn’t look damn near starved. The overhead lights, even as dim as they are, reflect off the hollows of her collarbones. Blaine has never wanted to bite into a shadow so much in his whole damned life—or unlife.
He waits. For an hour, she stays on the perimeter of the room, simply circling as though she is getting the lay of the land. He watches her, always in his peripheral vision, as he mixes drinks and flirts with customers and lights cigarettes (in defiance of local indoor smoking ordinances). Hell, half his customers can’t even taste the smoke they’re inhaling. One of the downsides of being on team Z.
By the time she makes her way to the bar, Blaine is on pins and needles—and as much annoyed as he is intrigued. She’s human. He can tell because she smells like heaven; full of life, vital and red and tempting. She’s giving off a million tiny volts of electricity, and he inhales deeply of a different scent—like the ozone that had saturated the air before the storm outside. Her heartbeat is strong and fast and chaotic, the sound so loud in his ears that he almost forgets to say anything to her when she leans her elbows on the bar.
He realizes, a few awkward beats later, that she has said something to him.
“Sorry,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Get you a drink, sweetheart?”
She shakes hers back at him. “I don’t drink.”
He pushes off the back counter, leaning his own elbows on the railing behind the bar so they are face to face. There are subtle flecks of gold in her dark-brown irises. Her clothes are not autumn-in-Washington clothes. She’s not wearing a coat. “What are you doing in a bar, then, honey?”
One slim shoulder lifts. Her eyes slide away from his, a loss he feels almost physically. “I’m looking for a job.”
Blaine straightens. “Not the kind we’re hiring for here.”
“How do you know?”
He barks out a laugh, his eyes trailing to one of his girls, working the crowd. He spreads one hand theatrically. “Do you know what kind of bar this is?”
“I do. But I’m best behind the bar, not on my back. You have expired almond cream liquor on your shelf there”—she points to a bottle behind him—“I can tell by how cloudy it is in the bottle. Gross.”
He glances over his shoulder at the bottle indicated, frowning. She continues.
“Your second bartender is pouring heavy ounces for his friends and has been for two rounds. And even though your well brand is cheap, I know how you could get cheaper. So as the owner of this bar, and I assume you are the owner based on your outfit, I think you should hire me and save your reputation and some money.”
“That was a cute spiel," he says flatly, "but tell me why you would want to work in a place like this. It’s dangerous. You smell like dinner, kitten.”
“Because,” she replies as flatly as he had, “I’ve been in worse places with worse people. And I need work, not the third degree.” There’s a flash in her eyes as she says it, and it makes something in his gut twist.
She's looking for a place to hide.
There’s a story, and Blaine finds that he desperately wants to hear it.
As she leans there, he turns his head to see his second bartender—Steve—letting the metal ounce measure fountain over into a rocks glass in a move so smooth that, had this mystery princess not pointed it out, Blaine would have missed the grift entirely. A low, deep growl rumbles in his chest.
“What’s your name?” he shouts over the music.
“Catherine,” she shouts back.
Catherine. Kitty. It makes him smile.
“Come back tomorrow, kitten. Before opening. I won’t tell you what time that is, and hours ain’t posted, but you seem like a smart kid.”
She nods. “Tomorrow.”
Then, she stands, pushing off of the bar, and melts back into the crowd. Blaine sees the door open when she leaves, and the heavy smell of rain wafts into the room.
He licks his lips.
Tomorrow.
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About reverse sagau
Itto definetly would punch a hole in the wall, for whatever reason.
Kazuha would be fine, maybe except that he would just try to play on any instrument you would have and drink liquors that have fancy bottles, cuz he deffo isn't used to interesting designs some alcohol have (like in the new summer quest he didn't taste alcohol in the drinks, so I don't think he would notice that sweet, fruity drink is alcoholic)
Xiao would fight with a smart fridge. Idk why, but he would
For zhongli, you have to get one of those child leashes. He would wander off on every occasion. It's not intentional tho, he just either get lost in thought or admires something.
condensed these into one bc they're the same topic and i wanna brainrot in one post sldkslf
itto will get in so much trouble. he doesn't want to wear a damn shirt when going outside. you're gonna have to compromise and get him those thin, flimsy tanktops where you'll be able to peek at his manboobs chest from the side. i mean it's a sight for sore eyes, sure, but still... also, how will you explain his oni horns??
kazuha would have a field day at first because there's a lot of things to explore, so many new sights to see, so many things to learn. but he's a nature boy at heart so the city can get too stuffy for him for a while. if you live in rural villages though, i think he would be very happy. he'd also urge you to travel more when he finds out about planes and boats and stuff.
i know why xiao would fight with smart fridges. you buy him almond milk one time and he's now an addict. he will unapologetically finish two cartons a day and that's the only thing he'll eat. worried for his health, you probably lock the fridge on certain times when you can't supervise him. thus you come home to see xiao threatening your poor fridge with his primordial jade spear in hand.
child leash for zhongli oh how the turned has tables skkdsldksl no but why would you get a child leash when you can tell him to hold arms with you in the crowd? just tell him that's what friends do in this world, it's definitely normal and not an intimate gesture for lovers or anything heh no not at all sir. also imagine zhongli noticing the subway is especially packed that day and being the gentleman he is he tries to shield you against the crowd. resulting in his arms caging you in, with your back on the train's wall. mmmmm delish.
you should probably pay thoma at this point because he does everything in your house. he learns to operate vacuums and stoves and washing machines in record speed. he befriends your neighbors and now they're convinced you've got yourself a very nice foreigner househusband. hell, he even knows your work schedule and builds his habits around it, serving you 3 meals a day, vacuuming only when you're not working, getting you snacks when you have a break from meetings.... everything from cleaning, cooking, laundry, stocking up in groceries, to feeding your pet(s), he has it down to the last t. you lucky bean.
diluc radiates ceo/top model energy so you can probably tell him to keep his neutral face and lead him into any fancy branded shops arm-in-arm, and the employee would happily welcome you in with a smile. guaranteed treatment as a vip, yay.
you know what kaeya is? he's a portable freezer. you can't tell me otherwise. in exchange of buying alcohol for him, you make him hold your ice creams and yoghurts and fresh milk. heck, do this whenever you buy your smoothies and milk teas too. oh, what? now he's asking for kisses as a payment? i mean, who are you to refuse?
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#itto#arataki itto#kazuha#kaedehara kazuha#xiao#zhongli#thoma#diluc#diluc ragnvindr#kaeya#kaeya alberich#itto x reader#kazuha x reader#xiao x reader#zhongli x reader#thoma x reader#diluc x reader#kaeya x reader#rin writes#lukerycyja#reverse sagau
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Lose You Too - Chapter Six: Dumpster Fire
Flag!Reader x Adrian Chase/Vigilante
Author’s Notes: Thank you so much to @generalfoolish for beta reading this, @chaseadrian for giving me the idea for this chapter while beta-ing the last one, and @a-reader-and-a-writer for giving me some suggestions on some cheeky little hidden references I could sneak in! As usual even though this particular chapter doesn’t contain smut, I’m still uncomfortable with minors reading my fic. I deserve a safe place to express myself Don’t forget to read the other parts! Prologue and Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four and Chapter Five here!
Warnings: female/afab reader (she/her pronouns), spoilers for The Suicide Squad (Gunn, 2021) and Peacemaker (Gunn, 2022), swearing/strong language, canon-level violence and mentions of violence, mention of canon character death, running away, mental breakdown/heavy depression and anxiety, (legal but excessive) use of alcohol, excessive stress eating, neglecting self care, drug usage (weed/marijuana), thinly veiled threats, deception, lying and betrayal, brief vomiting, references to violent canon events from episodes 2-5.
Y/N Flag had made a mistake. A big mistake. Well, several actually, but there was one that was her main concern: she shouldn’t have broken up with Adrian. At the time, she had thought it made sense: if ARGUS was after her, Adrian was in danger. The only problem is that ARGUS wasn’t after her and in her panicked paranoia, she had let go of the one thing in her life that she shouldn’t have. She had lost the one good thing she still had left in her life and it was all her fault.
But it was too late to turn back now. She could turn the car around and head back the hour or so drive to Evergreen, but she was afraid that if she did, Adrian would hate her for leaving in the first place. She checked into a shitty motel room a few towns away from Evergreen and Adrian. As self-loathing creeped into her mind, suddenly she was convinced that she could never go back to Evergreen. She wasn’t thinking logically, she knew this, but she was just so overwhelmed with everything that there was nothing she could do but curl up into a ball on the bed and cry herself to sleep.
She awoke the next day to her phone buzzing non-stop on the nightstand and when she flipped it over she saw dozens of text notifications and miss calls from Adrian. She felt a stab in her heart when she saw that Adrian was calling her again. She considered answering it but ultimately decided to turn it off and shove it in the nightstand drawer. She shoved her face back into the pillow and cried some more. She knew what she was doing, it was the same thing she did in the weeks after Rick’s death and really whenever she got really upset. Whenever she got overwhelmed, she’d start blaming herself and shut down completely. It wasn’t healthy, she knew this, but being out of it just seemed so much easier than dealing with her feelings. She lay there crying until her stomach grumbled and she sighed rolling out of bed and throwing on a hoodie and wiping her eyes before heading over to the convenience store across the street from the hotel.
A bell above the door chimed as she entered and the man behind the counter started to greet her before freezing up at the sight of her. She could imagine how she looked in her wrinkled clothes, with now-smudged makeup, and a mess of hair on her head but she didn’t care. She just nodded at him in greeting and grabbed two shopping baskets from beside the door. Her first stop was to get a few microwave meals, then a smattering of assorted chips, cookies, candy, and snacks, and then grabbing a few tubs of ice cream, small enough that they could fit in the tiny freezer on top of the mini-fridge. Finally, she came across the liquor aisle and grabbed a few bottles, not even caring that most were cheap brands that often didn’t even taste good. With two overflowing baskets, she approached the counter and tried to ignore the uncomfortable look of the cashier. He started scanning the items as she looked at the stuff put in a locked box behind the counter.
“Can I also get that bottle of tequila and that bag of blunts… oh, and a lighter?” She asked, wanting to try them since she hadn’t before and it was legal in Washington anyways.
“Yeah, but I’m gonna need an ID for the booze and weed.” The cashier replied, grabbing the items as she pulled out her driver’s license.
Once he had checked her ID, he finished scanning and bagging the rest of her items and she handed him her credit card before he read out what was probably a huge total. When it was done, she squeaked out a weak ‘thank you’ and grabbed her bags, heading out the door as the bell chimed again. The bags were a little heavy but she managed to carry them back across the road to the hotel without dropping anything. The next few days were a complete blur of booze and blunts and an endless amount of junk food as she sunk further into her breakdown, sleeping and crying more than anything else. Her life was becoming a dumpster fire, and this time it was of her own making.
———————————————————————————————————
Adrian was uncharacteristically quiet and it was setting the team on edge. They had gathered for a morning team meeting, unknowingly on the fifth day after his girlfriend left him. As they waited for Economos, Emilia, and Murn to arrive, they sat at the briefing table and tried to ignore the awkward tension in the room. Adrian was resting his head against his palm and staring miserably at the wall. Adebayo nudged Chris and motioned that he should say something to Adrian. He turned his chair slightly and looked like he didn’t know what to say, uncomfortably shifting in his seat.
“So uhh, Vig.” He started, glancing back at Adebayo for encouragement. “You’re really quiet this morning and you seem pretty down… umm what’s up with that?”
“Oh, I just realized last night that I can’t keep pretending to be okay, not since-” Adrian said sadly before he was interrupted by the rest of the team arriving.
“Let’s go people, no time for chit chat we need to plan this mission!” Murn said as he took his seat.
“We can talk about this after the meeting, Adrian.” Adebayo said with a supportive smile and he nodded.
Adrian didn’t really pay attention to the meeting, only occasionally tuning in to hear whatever they were talking about. Harcourt laid out a floorplan of the facility but he barely glanced at it. He got the general gist of the mission: since the computers at the butterflies’ bottling plant got destroyed in the fight with the gorilla, they need to go to an office building a few blocks away for the company. They needed the computers to figure out where the amber fluid the butterflies used as food came from before being brought to the plant. They were deciding on where everyone would be for the infiltration mission and when they’d do it when Adrian zoned out again.
“There’s a problem. The reason why we have to go in person to get these is because it’s not possible to hack the network from the outside.” Economos said, Adrian vaguely comprehending his words. “To do this, we need two hackers working simultaneously, one inside building on a computer connected to the network and the other in the van using the ARGUS network. And the other hacker can’t be just anyone, they need to be good. Really good.”
Murn sighed before asking “Well, do you know any hackers that might be able to do it?”
“I do actually…” Economos began and Harcourt quickly stopped him from continuing while she glared at him.
“No.” Harcourt said forcefully.
“Harcourt, we need y/n.” He replied and she continued glaring at him.
Hearing her name snapped Adrian out of his haze and he perked up, listening intently.
“No. Just no. She’s out of the question.” Harcourt insisted.
“I wouldn't suggest it if there was another option but she’s the only hacker I know who’s skilled enough to do it and she has combat training so she’d be more prepared to go inside the building than me. And we know she’s in town!” Economos replied
“No, John, you know she’s not an option so drop it.” Harcourt shot back
“Who the fuck is y/n?” Murn asked, shutting down their conversation with one another and redirecting them back to the meeting.
“I’d also like to know.” Adebayo added as Adrian heart began to pound in his chest, hoping that they were talking about another hacker with the same name in the area and not her.
“She’s the best damn hacker I know and-” Economos began but was quickly interrupted by Harcourt once more.
“And she’s not a possibility because Peacemaker killed her brother!” She practically shouted back.
The entire room became so quiet that you could hear a pin drop as all eyes shifted to Chris.
“Look, she doesn’t know that! She thinks it was some Corto Maltesean soldiers who killed him! A lie, which by the way, you told her!” Economos insisted, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“Waller made me!” Harcourt replied angrily. “Do you think I enjoyed lying to my friend? I regret it every single day!”
“Oh, is that why you told her we weren’t staying in town and were just stopping for dinner on our way through town when we saw her a few days ago?” Economos shot back.
“She thought we were here to take her back to ARGUS, I said that so she’d calm down!” Harcourt answered.
“Wait, who’s brother did I kill?” Chris interjected
Harcourt sighed before replying “Flag. Her brother was Colonel Rick Flag.”
“Oh.” was all Chris could squeeze out quieting in something suspiciously close to regret.
“Yeah ‘oh’, so she’s not an option.” Harcourt said, hoping that shut down the conversation.
Adrian’s head was spinning as he desperately hoped that they were talking about another girl with the same name who was a hacker, had a dead brother named Rick Flag and lived in Evergreen. He practically shoved the alternative from his head, not wanting to think about the possibility that his best friend had been the one to kill his girlfriend’s brother. He couldn’t face the idea that Chris was the reason for all those times she cried when she was reminded of him and the frequent nightmares about Rick’s death. Instead of considering these, he raised his hand hesitantly, beginning to speak when Murn motioned at him to speak.
“Umm, her full name wouldn’t happen to be Y/N Flag would it?” Adrian asked, somewhat sheepishly and the whole team turned to stare at him in disbelief. “I’m just gonna take your weird ass stares as a yes.”
“Vigilante… Do you know this woman?” Murn asked as calmly as he could.
“Pssshhh! No! No! What kind of name is y/n anyways? Sounds… lame. Pretty, of course, I mean but like totally lame. I mean she sounds hot as fuck but you know… psssssh right? I don’t know her. It’s whatever, you know…” Adrian said trying to play it off the same way he did when anyone talked about Vigilante in front of him at work.
“I’m gonna give you ten seconds to explain yourself before I cut off the other half of your fucking toe.” Harcourt said impatiently, having had enough of Adrian’s obviously bad back-tracking.
“Umm… she and I… uh well, we may or may not be… the two of us, that is… might be-” He began, tripping over his words.
“four… three… two-” Harcourt warned, pulling a knife out of her belt.
“SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND!” Adrian blurted out, pausing before quietly adding “And I love her and stuff.”
The entire team was shocked, their silence making Adrian nervous as they just stared at him
“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” Harcourt yelled, cutting through the silence like a knife.
“Well that explains why you said no to the threesome with that hot chick the other day.” Chris said with a shrug.
“Vig, is this what you’re upset about, what you were saying this morning before the meeting?” Adebayo asked calm with concern and Adrian nodded his head.
“Oh my god! You’re fucking the sister of the guy your best friend murdered? What the fuck?” Economos burst out.
“It’s not like I knew!” Adrian shot back defensively. “But also we’re not fucking anymore, we broke up… kinda. I mean not really. It’s complicated, okay. But I still think about her sexy butt when I jerk o-”
He was cut off by the group cutting him off with an overlapping chorus of “Ew”’s and “Gross”’s and even a “TMI dude” from Chris.
“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” Murn yelled, tired of them, and they all quieted down. “Listen! Economos, you said she doesn’t know Peacemaker is her brother’s killer?” Economos nodded and Murn considered something before adding. “Well, then we simply won’t tell her.”
“Even if we can keep her in the dark on that, she doesn’t trust Waller or ARGUS or honestly the U.S. government, she won’t agree to work this mission, especially with John and I.” Harcourt said.
Murn sighed and thought for a moment, raising his finger to silence Adrian and then Harcourt went they went to speak. Finally, he spoke.
“Okay, Harcourt, you and Vigilante will go talk to her. Threaten her if you have to-” he began.
“Woah woah woah!” Adrian interrupting angrily. “We may be sorta broken up but no one is threatening her! If anyone lays a fucking finger on her I’ll-”
“Okay Vigilante!” Murn yelled, interrupting Adrian’s interruption. “We won’t threaten her but we need her on the mission so you had better beg her or whatever you have to do to convince her to join us or I will have to send in someone else to persuade her.”
Adrian understood the thinly veiled threat and began to ball his fists before angrily grumbling “You can try…”
“Vig!” Adebayo exclaimed, more so to keep him out of trouble than to protect Murr.
“But I can’t lie to my her okay! I just can’t!” Adrian exclaimed. “After she found out about me being Vigilante, she made me swear to never lie to her again and I can’t do that to her. It’s a pinky swear, that shit is impossible to break. I have to tell her the truth about her brother. I have too.”
Murn rolled his eyes before responding “You can tell her after we stop the butterflies. If you tell her now she’ll only get upset and she won’t help us”
Adrian began to protest but Harcourt quickly spoke up, deciding to use the thing that Amanda Waller had hired her for all those years ago: manipulation.
“Adrian…” She began softy, using his first name for the first time. “Think about it this way, you’re not lying, you’re just waiting to tell her the truth. We need her to save the world. It’s a necessary evil to save billions of people. And once the mission is done and the butterflies are gone, you can tell her whatever you want. And besides, she’ll be so upset if she learns the truth now so really you’re protecting her from that hurt until she’s ready for it and can handle it.”
Adrian sat back in his chair, thinking deeply. What harcourt was saying made sense. They could save the world and he’d be protecting her feelings until Rick’s death wasn’t such a sore subject with her. But he had promised her, pinky sworn, that he’d never lie to her but what if it was for her own good?
Finally, Adrian sat back up and sighed reluctantly, before giving a defeated nod.
“Fine, I’ll do it, but there’s one problem.” Adrian said sadly. “When we kinda broke up she skipped town and I don’t know where she is.”
“That’s an easy fix, we can have Economos find her location through her phone. If she’s turned it on anytime in the last few days we’ll find her.” Murn said before dismissing the team to go about their work.
As soon as they were released, Chris shot out of his chair and practically ran to the bathroom. Murn headed back to his office, not caring about it and Economos uncomfortably shifted in his seat before pulling out his laptop and start on tracing her phone. Harcourt and Adebayo looked at one another, as if trying to silently decide which of them was going to check on Chris, but Adrian moved first.
“Adrian, I know you’re angry but you can’t hurt Chris, okay? We need both of you for the mission!” Adebayo called after him and he waved his hand dismissively as he entered the hall and headed to the bathroom.
He was only a few feet away when he heard Chris vomiting into the toilet bowl and pushed open the half-open door to reveal Chris sitting on the floor against the wall, one hand on the toilet seat as he panted. The look on his face was like he was exercising his face muscles like he’d told Adrian but something about the situation made him think there was more to this. Adrian froze, looking at his best friend, the person he had trusted the most in the world for all those years after Gut’s death until he met y/n, and tried to bring himself to move. He tried to grab at a gun or a knife and kill him for making her so sad, but his hands wouldn’t do it, his body rebelling against his brain.
Instead he felt his eyes starting to water up as Chris looked up at him. He didn’t know why, he never usually had emotions like other people in fact, before crying over her leaving, the last time he had cried was back when Gut and his mother died. Before then he didn’t know if he’d ever cried, even as a baby, not even a single tear when his dad left or when other kids pushed him on the playground. His mom always said that he was special in his own way, that his brain just worked a little differently than others but that it was okay and made him unique. So why was he crying now? He didn’t know, and it scared him. He couldn’t convince his arms to move to his utility belt for a weapon or make his legs walk towards Chris so he could kill him. Instead, he was just barely able to bring himself to speak, almost in a whisper.
“If you were anyone else, I would kill you for this, for taking her brother away from her and making her so alone and scared and sad. But I can’t do it, I don’t know why. You’re my best friend and I can’t bring myself to do it.”
Chris’ eyes widened as he looked up at Adrian, who was more vulnerable than he had ever seen him. And he too was more vulnerable, crying and throwing up in regret on a bathroom floor in front of someone else, something Chris had never thought he’d do.
“Maybe that makes me weak.” Adrian muttered as he slipped down the wall to sit opposite from Chris, his head in his hands.
“You’re not weak, Adrian.” Chris said lowly, unsure where the words were coming from. “I am.”
Adrian’s head snapped up to look at Chris as he nodded sadly.
“I’m the weak one. I killed a good man because I was following orders. I knew it was wrong but I did it anyways. I don’t even really know why, they’d lost contact with us so I didn’t have to do it. I could have just let him take the drive and told Waller that I couldn’t fight the whole team.” Chris said, his voice wavering with emotion as he tried to keep it as steady as possible, knowing that his friend deserved the truth. “I used to think I did it because I was afraid of getting my head blown off or going to prison for the rest of my life, but I’m not so sure anymore. All I know is that I was a weak coward and a good man is dead. And now I know that he had people I took him from, people that I made cry and grieve for him because some stupid coward on an island couldn’t ignore orders he knew were wrong.”
Adrian couldn’t take his off of him as he spoke, a million thoughts and strange emotions racing through his mind, his heart hammering in his chest as if it wanted to break free of his ribs.
“Who ordered you to kill him? Why?” Adrian asked, his whole body shaking in anticipation and rage.
“Waller, she was the boss at ARGUS and she put together this team.” Chris answered. “On Corto Maltese, the lab we were supposed to break into had some sensitive information on a drive that could expose some bad shit America did. I was supposed to find it and destroy it before anyone else knew about it. ‘By any means necessary’ she said. I followed Flag and another team member but Flag found the drive before I had a chance to grab it. He wanted to release it to the public, said he had signed up to serve his country, not be it’s puppet. I tried to get him to hand over the drive so I could destroy it but he refused. We fought and he was so close to killing me, a pipe crushing down on my windpipe and I could feel the air draining out of my lungs, so I reached for some rubble since the building was starting to come down. I stabbed him in the side with a sharp piece of ceramic. I think about the look on his face in that moment a lot: surprise, anger, betrayal. His dying words were ‘Peacemaker, what a joke’ and sometimes I can’t stop hearing them. It didn’t end with Flag, another member of the team, this young girl, barely an adult grabbed it and ran. I chased her down and I was about to shoot her when I got shot in the neck. They thought I was dead so they left me but I was still alive. Waller realized my tracking chip was still working and showing that my heart was still beating so she had a rescue team come and get me and less than a day later I was in an American hospital. I killed a good man and almost killed an innocent girl all because I was a fucking coward who couldn’t go against orders.”
Adrian and Chris sat in silence, Adrian taking in every word of what he had just heard as Chris put his head in his hands and cried. Adrian suddenly stood up, looking down at his best friend unsure if he was feeling sad or angry.
“I understand. I’m still mad, but I understand.” He said simply before walking down the hall back towards the main room, ignoring the fact that he saw Harcourt and Adebayo just around the corner from the bathroom, listening the whole time.
He could hear one of them walking into the bathroom as he walked away but he didn’t care enough to look back to see which of them it was. Instead he kept walking, one foot in front of the other before he arrived in the main room and stood near Economos, who was still typing furiously on his laptop. A red screen popped up on the monitor and he huffed angrily, pushing the laptop away from him and crossing his arms.
“Your girlfriend made it so no one could track her phone even if it’s on. I keep running into her firewalls, I’ve been at this for like thirty minutes and I just can’t find her.” Economos explained.
“Don’t tell Murn yet, I’m gonna try calling her one last time and see if she’ll pick up.” Adrian said and Economos nodded, watching as Adrian pulled out his phone.
With shaky hands, Adrian unlocked it and moved to the phone app, clicking on her name like he had for the past four days. He put it to his ear as he listened to that all familiar ringing, hoping that this one wouldn’t end with her voicemail like all the others had.
———————————————————————————————————
That same morning, y/n awoke in the empty hotel room, grabbing out for Adrian’s body at her side and missing it’s presence. She grumbled and picked up an almost empty bottle of whiskey from the nightstand. She went to drink what was left but was distracted by the half open drawer of the nightstand where she had apparently stuck a half empty bags of chips in the previous night. But the chips weren’t what caught her attention, it was her phone, lying next to it. She set the bottle of whiskey onto the nightstand and grabbed her phone from the drawer, laying back down on the bed.
Her hands trembled as she clicked the on button, watching as the phone began to come back to life. The lock screen was full of notifications from Adrian, texts, missed calls and voicemails all sent in the last few days. She knew she couldn’t ignore her problems forever, that she had to find a solution sometime and that reading the texts and listening to the voicemails was the first step. It didn’t even feel like she was controlling her fingers as the pressed to the text app and onto Adrian’s contact. She scrolled through the sea of texts, reading how he had asked in a panic where she was and if she was okay the night she left. Then once every morning for the next four days, including this morning, a text that simply read “I miss you and I love you. Please come back.” None of the messages had his usual merman emoji meaning that he was truly very upset and she tried to ignore the stabbing pain in her chest.
Next her fingers switched over to the phone app, most of the missed calls having been from the night she left and the morning afterwards. The first few voicemails she listened to were from that night and consisted of him rambling, panic evident in his voice as he asked where she was and why she had left and if she was in trouble. One of them asked if she’d been kidnaped and that he would pay whatever ransom they wanted. She knew it was a lie, he just said that to get the fictional kidnappers to reach out so he could find them and kill them. She gave a sad smile at that one before she moved on to the next one, sent the morning after she left.
“Hey, babe. I still really miss you and I want you back. I don’t know what I did but please talk to me so I can fix it. I love you so much and I’m really worried about you. I won’t text you anymore but I’ll call you every night to tell you about my day, even if it’s on voicemail. I hope that maybe you’ll answer one of the times because I want to fix whatever made you leave. I’ll kill people if I have to or couple’s counseling or whatever you want, just answer my call or call me back and I swear I’ll make whatever it is right. I love you.” Adrian’s voice was so raw, likely from tears and she had to set the phone down to cry for a little while.
After she gathered herself up again, she clicked on the next voicemail sent the night after she had left.
“Hi babe. I wanted to tell you about my day. Peacemaker is back from prison and we went out in to the woods and shot a bunch of appliances and it was really fun! I got to use a bunch of different weapons that I don’t usually use and I even got to blow some shit up! It was awesome! Peacemaker invited a girl over and asked me if I wanted to join them for a threesome but I said no. I know you’re gonna come back and I don't want to be with anyone else but you. I love you.” Adrian’s voice sounded happier in this one but still tinged with sadness.
The next one was sent very late the next night, really more in the early hours of the second day.
“Babe, I have a lot to tell you. So tonight, or last night really, I followed Peacemaker and his new friends as they went on a mission. I didn't really get what they were doing but Peacemaker asked me to kill this senator dude and stuff, they were some freaky monsters so I did but then his bodyguard caught us before I could kill the senator and he took us down into a basement thing. When I woke up I was tied up and he was trying to get some information from Peacemaker and thought that torturing me would work so he electrocuted my dick. It really hurt at the time but I think my healing powers fixed it because it’s not even sore. When the dick electrocution didn’t work, he started cutting off my pinky toe which really sucked because he was using dull tools and the pinky toe is the most important toe on the body and I was afraid that if he cut off the whole thing I’d never be able to walk right again! But he only got halfway through before Peacemaker broke free and killed him. But than the craziest thing happened! As he was untying me and his friends were coming to get us, this fucking flying bug thing flew out of the senator’s head! It’s so crazy, right? I think my pinky toe is growing back but really really slowly. Anyways, I love you babe and I’ll call you tonight to let you know about my day again!” Adrian’s voice was casual but excited as he told his story and she gasped when he talked about the torture.
Needing to know more, she immediately clicked on the next one.
“Babe, I think I might have messed up. I took Peacemaker to his dad’s house to get his helmets but then we found out that his dad had been arrested for something Peacemaker did. I took him to jail to see his dad and while I was sitting and waiting for him, one of his friends, Adebagel, I think? She came up to me and she was talking about how Peacemaker would be better off if his dad was dead so I went and I smashed a trashcan into a window while the cops were watching and they arrested me. It was kind of fun to get booked and stuff, they took a picture and my fingerprints and they gave me new clothes and I went to the rec room. Everyone was yelling stuff at me but I was too focused on how sweet it would be to kill Peacemaker’s dad ‘cuz he’s a racist and stuff so I didn’t even notice what they were saying. Anyways, I went to the rec room and I made fun of the racists until they started a fight and I totally beat them up but the officers came in before I could kill the dad. While we were being cuffed, I told him he was a bad dad but then he thought that Peacemaker had sent me so he started screaming about how he wanted to talk to the detectives because had been framed and his son was trying to kill him. I felt really bad about it when they put me in my cell but then they told me that I could go. Peacemaker’s friends got me out, isn’t that cool! I love you, bye.”
Again she needed to hear more, practically dropping the phone in her race to click the one from yesterday evening.
“BABE! You’ll never believe this. That bug thing in the senator’s head was an ALIEN! And there are a bunch of them all over the world and we’re supposed to kill them! So cool, right? We went to this factory place and found out it was run by the aliens and we had to fight a bunch of them. I even fought A GORILLA!! He had an alien in his head so he was like way stronger than a normal gorilla so one of Peacemaker’s friends came and killed it with a chainsaw. It was kinda weird because I had just been talking about how much I wanna kill someone with a chainsaw and then he did it but I guess it doesn’t matter. Oh shit! I have to go to work! Love you!”
The final voicemail had been sent later that same night, less than twelve hours ago.
“Babe…” Adrian’s voice came out and she could tell he was upset, his voice more raw and vulnerable than she had ever heard it. “I- I’ve been trying to pretend I’m okay, but I’m not. I miss you so much it’s like I can’t breathe. It’s like I’m dying without you and my healing abilities can’t fix it. Please come back baby… I need you. I love you so much. Please call me or text me or something because I need to know you’re okay. And if you’re not okay I need you to call me so I can fix it. I love you, babe. Please come home.”
After the voicemail ended, the silence in the room was stifling. She was frozen, every muscle of her body, no matter how small, was locked up. There was a pain in her chest and she couldn’t breathe. She felt like she was gonna to die right there on the hotel bed, gripping the phone for dear life. Would Adrian even know if she died? Would they take her back to Evergreen where she lived? Would someone search for if she had any friends or family in the area? Or would her name just be a line in a local paper, her body dumped in some half-ass grave? Would Adrian never know where she was, always hoping she’d come back for the rest of his life, unaware that she had died of a heart attack in a shitty motel less than an hour away from him?
Suddenly, control of her body came back to her and she heaved a giant breath, letting the phone fall out of her hands as she sobbed harder than she had since Rick died. She had thought that she could protect him by leaving but she’d just made him more vulnerable. Peacemaker’s ‘friends’ sounded a lot like ARGUS agents, maybe even John and Emilia. And the ARGUS files she had looked at before she quit had said that Christopher Smith AKA Peacemaker had died in Corto Maltese on the same mission that killed Rick. Her head was spinning trying to figure it out, maybe Waller had lied in the files and sent him to Evergreen with some ARGUS agents. But why lie in private files? What possible mission could be important enough for her to send a team to Evergreen of all places? A million thoughts fought to be at the front of her mind and it felt as if a dam was about to burst. But just when it was about to break, she heard something.
She glanced over to the phone and realized she was hearing the phone ring. The phone had landed face down so she turned it over, discovering Adrian’s contact picture was filling the screen. He was calling her. Her hand moved without thinking to pick it up and answer the call, bringing it up to her ear as she curled up on the bed.
“Oh my god! Babe! Oh god, I was so worried! Are you okay? Where are you?” Adrian’s voice said through the phone, relief and urgency lacing every word.
“I- I messed up Adrian.” She replied, trying to keep the continuous tears at bay. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was trying to protect you. I’m so sorry Adrian, I need you.”
Adrian heard her begin to sob over the phone and tried to calm her.
“It’s okay babe, I just want to know that you’re okay, tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.” He reassured her, trying not to cry as he heard her crying.
“B- Baldwin Inn, Aberdeen, Washington. Room 29.” She squeaked out.
“I’ll be there as soon as possible babe!” Adrian assured her. “Shit my phone is dying, I’ll charge it in the car on my way to get you. Just stay where you are, I’ll be there soon!”
Adrian’s phone died and ended the call before she could reply and she started crying again, pulling the covers over her head and sobbing into the pillows.
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