#of things ive actually consumed properly

[beneaththebloodylake]

when you get so bored you start reading fanfic for a ship from a game you know nothing about just as generic stories but the game sounds actually sort of interesting, and then when you look it up on tumblr it seems like the ship are actually sort of just like that in canon and theyre not just being shipped for the sake of shipping something. how has this happened twice now

[raevpng]

in between (pt. 3)

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

masterlist

part one

part two

a/n: i can’t believe ive actually finished this 😭 i’ve gotten an overwhelming amount of support for this fic and especially for this final part, and although it’s long overdue, im thankful for anyone who’s waited, and is willing to read this 🥹 i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it <3

—

it was dark by the time the laughter in their room (well technically azzi’s room) died down. their hands remained tangled as the ending credits of some sappy rom-com rolled, the light casting soft shadows across the walls, illuminating the cozy chaos of pillows and blankets they’d built around themselves. everything outside the room had blurred away hours ago, all that remained was this space, and the quiet warmth of this special unnamed thing they’d built inside it.

azzi’s breathing had slowed, deep and steady. her sugar rush from the candy bowl her and the blonde had consumed hours ago died down heavy. her head was tucked comfortably against paige’s shoulder, fitting like a puzzle piece that brought a special warmth to her chest. her breathing should’ve been an easy sign that she was asleep, maybe to everyone else. but paige knew better. and well, the way azzi’s fingers still played with hers slowly, subtly, gently tracing just the edge of her pinky, said otherwise.

paige always thought azzi looked absolutely unreal. even before all this had happened, before she could put a name on the softness she felt in her chest when they locked eyes, or the awe that she couldn’t help but feel every time they had the pleasure of sharing the court together. but right now? god, she thought she could learn every language through and through yet, nothing will never be enough to articulate just how much she felt.

she could barely believe the last 24 hours had really happened — that azzi really reciprocated the feelings she’s been trying to push down for god knows how long. that paige had official permission from azzi’s parents to properly pursue the other girl. that they’d kissed.

as she leaned in, her nose brushing softly against the curls at azzi’s temple, something fizzy bubbled up in her chest. a giddy, breathless kind of awe.

she couldn't help but admire the girl nestled in her arms. she looked straight out of the blonde’s dreams, unreal and unwilling to fade. her lashes rested delicately against her cheeks, her pouted lips slightly parted, still tinted with the lip balm azzi had been stealing from paige since their shared airplane ride home, and something softer, something sweeter. her hand, warm and slightly rough from the years of hard work she’d poured into basketball, still curled in paige’s, intertwined with hers like it belonged there. like it had always belonged there.

paige let herself look this time, properly look. like she’d done in secret when azzi looked away, or when she was across the room watching azzi’s pure talent and passion and that jump shot paige had always been a little envious of. her eyes moved slowly, committing every feature to memory in the kind of quiet that felt sacred. the curve of azzi’s cheekbone, the slope of her nose, the spot just below her ear where her pulse fluttered, where paige wanted to press her lips just to feel it.

paige couldn't help but physically bite her lip at just how right they looked like this. in the privacy of the enclosed space they made theirs, a beginning to the new chapter they’ve made. together.

“i can practically hear your thoughts.”

azzi’s voice was low, rough with sleep, but there was a smile in it.

paige blinked, caught. “was it that loud?”

“mhm,” azzi murmured, shifting slightly so she could look up at her. “they’re screaming.”

“sorry,” paige said, completely not sorry. her voice dropped, soft and sincere. “i just… i can’t help but look at you.”

azzi’s breath caught, her heart stuttering so loudly that she swears she could hear it echo. she ducked her head attempting to hide the heat blooming across her cheeks, but it was pointless. her blush, the pretty pink that paige loves so deeply was already spreading to the tips of her ears.

“i don’t think i can get used to this.” azzi admitted, the warmth of her face causing her to duck her head shyly.

paige tilted her head. “used to what?”

“you looking at me like that.”

and with azzi looking at her with the brown eyes paige fell into and could just never get out, paige thought she couldn’t be blamed for the dopey, lovesick smile that took over her face — so full of adoration it was dizzying. “guess you’ll have to try.”

she reached out, brushing a thumb along azzi’s jaw, feather-light. the moment hung between them, fragile and charged while their breaths caught softly. unlike last night when their world had shifted, when everything between them had spilled into the open, there were no fumbled words, no sweaty palms, no unsure glances.

paige leaned in and kissed her.

soft. slow. sweeter this time. more sure. it wasn’t rushed, wasn’t hesitant — just full of everything they hadn’t been able to say, everything that lived between them in glances and silence and late-night facetimes. azzi sighed against her lips, and paige shivered at the sensation, the reminder that azzi was hers to feel like this. that she was hers to comfort after every bad game, hers to praise every win.

that after all this time, she was finally hers.

when they finally pulled apart, their foreheads stayed pressed together. their breaths mingled in the tiny space between them, grins stretched that azzi felt like her cheeks stung with the best pain. like they couldn’t believe they got this lucky.

“azzi?” paige’s voice was barely above a whisper. her thumb was still moving in slow, nervous circles across the back of azzi’s hand.

“hm?”

“can i…” she hesitated, swallowed, glanced down. “i have… fuck. hold on.”

azzi blinked, her brows knitting as paige untangled their limbs and started rummaging wildly under the blankets.

“paige… what are you doing?”

“fuck, i had this planned out,” paige grumbled as she dug through the piles of blankets that concealed her phone somewhere. “damn i can’t believed i fumbled like … the most important moment of my life.”

“paige,” azzi began fighting back a confused giggle, “i still don’t know what’s happening.”

a muffled “aha!” came from somewhere beneath the comforter before paige popped up triumphantly, phone in one hand, her other quickly finding azzi’s. the blonde hesitates, already knowing she’s gonna get made fun of before admitting, “i may or may not have written out a script to ask you out,” she mumbled.

there was a beat of stunned silence.

then azzi burst into laughter — the kind that made her crinkle her whole face, eyes squeezing shut, tears escaping at the corners.

paige looked utterly betrayed.

she let the other laugh her heart out as she prayed with all her might that somehow, magically, the ground would swallow her up right now.

“you wrote it down?” azzi giggled, burying her face into paige’s hoodie. “where, the notes app?” she deadpanned.

paige stared at her.

and the look on her face was telling enough.

“you’re joking.”

“are you seriously bullying me right now?” paige pouted, yanking her hand away and turning her back dramatically. “i’m trying to be romantic and you’re out here roasting me.”

“no, no i’m not bullying you!” azzi said through laughter, crawling forward to tug her back by the hoodie. “come back, big baby.” she couldn’t help the soft fond laugh that escaped her lips as she dragged paige back to their bed.

“rude,” paige mumbled into the blanket.

“no,” azzi said, voice gentler now, wrapping her arms around her from behind. “it’s perfect.”

paige let herself be pulled back into the bed, still sulking to maybe just maybe get azzi to love on her a bit more.

“come on, i’m listening.” she sat down, smiling as the blonde shook her head trying to stay sulky at the other but failing terribly.

paige glanced over, cheeks pink, and handed over her whole heart like it was nothing.

“okay,” she said, straightening up with mock seriousness. “but you can’t laugh. this is a very serious conversation about my very serious feelings… in our very serious relationship.”

“got it.” azzi nodded like she was in a board meeting, ignoring the butterflies erupting at the word ‘relationship’.

paige opened her notes app, cleared her throat dramatically, and began: “azzi, ever since we became friends, i knew you were special…”

but then she paused. looked up.

paige trailed off as she looked into those damn brown eyes that she could just never resist. those lips that captivated her and that face that paige was so hopelessly gone for, and she couldn’t help the swoop in her stomach at just how beautiful the girl in front of her truly was.

fuck it.

she locked her phone and dropped it on her lap, hands reaching out the hold azzi’s who’s face was painted with surprise.

paige laughed, eyes already glassy. “okay, listen. i know we said a lot last night. and honestly, we really did cover… everything.”

azzi giggled softly. “we kinda did.”

paige smiled softly at the sound, “i wanted to tell you it isn’t enough for me, and i don’t think it ever will be.”

she shifted closer, tucking a stray curl behind azzi’s ear. her voice dropped to a whisper. “i don’t think i ever really knew what it meant to feel pulled to someone… until you.”

azzi’s breath hitched, and paige saw the way her lashes fluttered, the way her eyes started to shine.

“i don’t wanna know what life is like without you. not now that i’ve had this version of us. this close, this soft… this real.”

her hands rose, gently cupping azzi’s cheeks. she leaned in just slightly, close enough to feel azzi’s breath on her lips.

“i don’t know if i can explain it right, but it’s like… every version of my life that makes sense has you in it. not just beside me on the court or cheering me on, though, that’s part of it, but like… this. you and me. tangled up in blankets, kissing like we have all the time in the world. soft. close. yours.”

azzi blinked, and the tears fell freely now. “paige…”

“i don’t wanna miss out on a life where you’re mine. i want this, i want us. and i wanna ask you if you would you do the honours of going on a date with me?” her hands were trembling slightly.

and of course, azzi noticed.

she always did.

azzi lifted one hand, kissed the inside of paige’s wrist, and rested their foreheads together.

“i’d love to,” she whispered, voice thick with tears, smile sweet enough to ruin paige completely.

paige let out a shaky breath, like her heart had just exhaled for the first time in forever.

“okay,” she whispered, smiling so wide it hurt. “okay.”

—

azzi paced her room, anxiety buzzing under her skin as a mountain of clothes loomed threateningly on her bed. her closet doors were flung wide open, shirts and dresses tossed in every direction, as if one of them might magically solve her growing wardrobe crisis.

it was ridiculous—she knew it was ridiculous—but paige had insisted.

even though she was staying with the fudd family for the next few months while she finished her quarantine, paige had insisted on making their first official date feel special. real, she’d said, with that soft smile and even softer voice that made azzi’s brain short-circuit.

“az!” paige had whined earlier that morning while they were brushing their teeth side by side, foam clinging to their grins. “this is our first real date! i gotta impress you with my game!”

azzi had tried to resist. she really had. she’d even rolled her eyes and said, “you already live with me, how are you even gonna pull this off?”

but then paige had pulled that pout—the pout, the one she only ever used when she really wanted something to go her way—and suddenly azzi was sighing, defeated and lowkey charmed out of her mind, agreeing to let her girlfriend leave the house just so she could come back and pick her up like it was a scene in a movie.

now, with the minutes ticking down and her not yet girlfriend but not just bestfriend probably already on her way back from god knows where, azzi was frantically trying to pull herself together.

“it’s not even that serious,” she muttered, staring into the mirror. “she’s literally staying here. she’s seen me in a charcoal face mask and one sock.” she snickered to herself.

after what felt like a full closet tornado, she finally settled on high-waisted denim shorts and a simple black tank top—the same one paige had complimented her on weeks ago with a not-so-subtle once-over and a shy, “you look so good in that.” her curls were half-pulled up, a few pieces left out to frame her face just the way paige liked, and she quickly added a swipe of mascara and some lip gloss before slipping on her shoes.

she was about to rush out when the doorbell rang.

immediately, she bolted, feet barely touching the floor as she scrambled toward the front door, heart thudding with anticipation. she reached for the handle, only to be cut off by a sharp throat-clear behind her.

“dad, what are you—”

tim stood there, arms crossed in dramatic seriousness, blocking her way. before she could protest again, he opened the door himself.

paige stood outside in jeans, a white tank top with a pink striped button up shirt open, and her signature sneakers, holding a single rose with the goofiest, most bashful smile azzi had ever seen.

she looked… nervous. and painfully cute.

“come in,” tim said flatly, and paige blinked, clearly thrown off by his sudden stern tone.

azzi, standing frozen behind him, gave her an apologetic shrug. this was not part of the plan.

“so,” tim began, turning to face paige fully, voice dropping into full dramatic dad mode, “you’re taking my daughter out tonight.”

“uh—yes, sir,” paige said, standing a little straighter, rose gripped like a lifeline.

“no drinking,” tim continued. “no funny business. no later than ten. i expect her back safe and sound. Understood?”

azzi’s soul physically left her body.

“dad, be so serious right now. you were just playing 2k with her-”

“this is different!” tim interrupted, eyes never leaving paige. “she’s taking my baby girl on a date. it’s sacred. it’s protocol.”

paige let out a stifled laugh, biting her lip hard to keep a straight face. “yes, sir,” she said with a salute, trying and failing not to crack.

that was enough to break tim’s fake sternness. he shook his head with a huff and waved them off, muttering something about “young love” as he disappeared back into the living room.

paige stepped in closer, finally letting herself appreciate the girl in front of her. her azzi.

god she could get used to that.

“you look…wow. az, you’re beautiful.” she sighed, sheer honesty bringing out the blush only paige seemed capable of getting painting azzi’s dimpled cheeks.

“says you.” azzi whispered weakly as paige walked closer, leaning down slowly to press a soft kiss to the younger’s cheek.

“sooo…” paige trailed off with a cheeky grin when they pulled apart, matching blushes, “what was that about?”

azzi groaned, dragging her hands down her face. “i believe you just got the dad talk.”

paige grinned and handed her the rose. “worth it.”

“you’re so cheesy.” azzi’s blush contrasted with her words as she reached out to take the flower, heart blooming at just how charming paige was being.

they stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, both a little breathless with nerves and giddy energy.

“you ready?” paige asked softly, holding out her hand.

azzi slipped her fingers into hers without hesitation. “so ready.”

–

“this better not be some sick prank,” azzi mumbled, glancing at paige as they turned down a quiet side street, their hands brushing between them. she didn’t know what exactly it was – the gold of the sun setting above them, or maybe the way her fingers kept reaching for hers before pulling away swiftly like she was just aching for their fingers to find their rightful place intertwined with each other – but something was causing the thudding of her heart to be all too much.

and it’s sickening really, that she couldn’t find it in her to mind.

paige grinned, the same lopsided, trouble-making smile she wore every time she was up to something. “ouch, have a little faith in me, baby.”

it’s sick, the way that name rolled so sweetly and so easily off her tongue.

“mhm.” she hummed trying to feign casualness. like paige didn’t just throw off the cool front she’s been trying to exude since they left her house, “where are we going anyway?”

“i told you,” paige walked beside her bumping the other ever so slightly, “i found a hidden treasure!”

“in my own home town?”

“yep!” paige grinned proudly, “see, anyone can take you to dairy queen. only i can take you to a pirate-themed ice cream shop with no marketing budget and a grandma who scoops the cones.”

“what the fuck?” azzi barked out a loud laugh, “you’re lying.”

“i would never lie about ice cream.” paige replied solemnly, just as they reached the hand-painted sign—shiver me sundae, complete with a popsicle in a pirate hat.

“oh my god.”

paige was right, it was truly a hidden gem. it was practically invisible, tucked between a laundromat and a rusted bike repair shop, and azzi had passed this street hundreds of times without noticing. and now she was standing here, wondering how the hell paige found this — and more importantly, why it was suddenly the most endearing thing anyone had ever done for her.

“told you,” paige said all too smugly, holding the door open with a little bow. “ladies first.”

azzi stepped in with a little thank you, pausing to take in the sight in front of her. the space was barely bigger than an average living room, the walls painted a vintage mint green with three small, wooden, rickety tables on one side while the other was glowing with mismatched fairy lights. it was empty except for a woman in her sixties, grey hair pulled in a neat bun humming along to an old radio behind the counter. her eyes brightened at the sight of customers, the comforting smile only an elder could give painting her face.

“hello!” paige chimed charmingly, earning a bright greeting from the lady, “double scoop,” paige said like a regular. “mango sorbet please!”

then, turning to azzi, softening a little, “what about you, baby?”

baby.

it really was unfair how a simple word could make her brain short circuit multiple times, but here she was again, melting at the name and how soft paige said it.

azzi pretended not to hear it, focusing instead on willing the blush off her cheeks. “uh… vanilla. with rainbow sprinkles, please.”

paige smiled so hard it looked like it hurt. “of course you want sprinkles.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” azzi narrowed her eyes, fighting back a smile.

“nothing,” paige teased, handing her the cone. “just that it’s so you.”

their fingers brushed in the handoff, and it was such a fleeting touch, but it left azzi breathless anyway. paige’s eyes flicked up to hers, just for a second, and it was like they both forgot how to exist in their own skin.

“such an adorable couple.” the lady said, effectively shutting up the small banter with the girls blushing wildly.

they thanked the lady, who they learned was named dorothy with a sheepish smile and a promise to come back.

they ended up outside on a weathered little bench under half-lit string lights, knees touching while there cones slowly drip down the grass. paige smirked mischiviously, leaning close to steal a bite from azzi’s cone who huffed offendedly. paige only giggled, holding her own cone up as an offering. “you want mango?”

azzi leaned in to take a bite, only barely missing paige’s lips. paige’s eyes widened, the blue of her eyes under the low light making it irresistible and god, really impossible for azzi not to lean in and steal a sweet kiss.

so she did, leaning in to capture the blonde’s lips in a quick peck.

“okay, you win,” azzi murmured when she pulled back, leaving a flustered paige smiling dizzily, her voice quiet and full of affection. “this place is weirdly perfect.”

“told you,” paige said again, quieter this time, stretching her hand to properly link their fingers once more.

as the sun dipped low, they walked together through the overgrown garden azzi had brought paige to the first time she visited.

this time, paige led the way.

everything smelled like honeysuckle and wet leaves, and multiple flowers were missing their usual colour from being out of season. but somehow, it’s never looked prettier.

“you remembered this,” azzi said softly.

“how could i forget?” paige replied. “you brought me here when i didn’t know all i needed all this time was right beside me.”

azzi looked over, heart caught in her throat, torn between wanting to kiss her silly again and crying. “you really don’t play fair, do you?”

“i really don’t,” paige whispered. “especially when i like someone this much.”

and what can azzi do but fall deeper?

they walked in slow circles around the flower beds until the garden gave way to a little park behind it, where a crooked old basketball hoop still stood in the corner. azzi couldn’t help a laugh of disbelief and possibly fondness escape.

paige grinned and broke away, dribbling the faded ball sitting beneath the bench. “one-on-one. you and me right now”

“really now?”

“first to ten,” she said, tossing the ball to azzi. “winner gets whatever they want.”

azzi’s eyes brightened as she shuffled closer, catching the ball with ease as she felt the familiar fire of competitiveness, “game on, bueckers.”

what followed could barely be called a real game.

the game started normal, azzi making an easy three, paige making tough layups look easy. but somewhere around point six, it unraveled into a flirty chaos. laughing, bumping shoulders, teasing defense, both of them missing more shots than they made. azzi scored with a quick fake and a step-back jumper, paige responded with a ridiculous spin move that somehow worked.

“8-6,” paige said after she made her shot, bouncing the ball slowly. “i make a shot and it’s over.”

azzi crouches down in position, smirking as she got her lock down defence ready. “bring it.”

but paige didn’t move.

she stood there, holding the ball, eyes locked on azzi like the game had already ended.

looking at her like she had already won.

“you know what?” she said, voice low. “i don’t need the point. i already know what i want.”

azzi blinked, “huh?”

paige gulped, voice suddenly wobbly as she feels her heart speed up, “these past few days, i know we’ve already said a lot and well, kissed a lot.” she teased lightly earning a light laugh from azzi, “but i don’t wanna just leave it hanging there. i want you to really know.”

she dropped the ball gently and stepped closer.

“i want you,” she continued, each word a little braver. “in every way. i want ice cream dates and basketball hangouts and stupid inside jokes and everything in between. i want the you after a loss and the you after a win. i want you by my side in university playing ball and you by my side for whatever comes after.”

her fingers reached out, brushing gently along azzi’s jaw, so soft it melted what was left of azzi’s poor heart.

“i’m already yours,” paige admitted, “but i’d really love to be your girlfriend, officially. if you’ll have me, of course.”

azzi stood frozen in place, eyes widening as the blonde’s words sunk in. she could feel herself lose whatever train of thought she had, not because she didn’t know what to say, but because god, she hadn’t been expecting to fall this hard. she blinked through the sting in her eyes, stepping forward until their foreheads touched, breaths mingling in the space between them.

“of course. yes, are you kidding?” she whispered, voice thick with emotions and something that felt scarily like love, “of course i want that. i want you.”

paige let out a breathless, crooked laugh as azzi wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close, their bodies fitting like muscle memory.

“you’re crying,” paige teased, brushing her thumb gently under azzi’s eye.

“shut up,” azzi whispered, sniffling a little. “you made me.”

paige leaned in, pressing a kiss to her temple, then her cheek. “i’ll make it up to you.”

“how?”

she leaned down slowly, breath getting caught at just how gentle and loving azzi looked up at her. her brown eyes were wide-eyed and flushed, lips parted slightly like she already knew what was coming but still couldn’t believe it. like no amount of kissing could ever get her used to the closeness and softness of each moment.

then their lips met.

soft and ever so gentle at first, like they were both holding their breath and testing the waters, but then paige tilted her head and pressed in more fully and oh, azzi thought she couldn’t hold back any longer.

azzi tasted like vanilla and something so achingly familiar it made paige’s knees weak. and god, the way azzi’s hand gripped the back of her neck like she was scared she’d disappear, like she was something out of her greatest dreams, made her heart genuinely skip a beat.

paige deepened the kiss gently, coaxing rather than taking, like she had all the time in the world to learn the shape of azzi’s mouth and the way her breath hitched just slightly when she brought her free hand to cup her cheek. her other hand slid up to rest just beneath azzi’s jaw, her thumb brushing featherlight against her cheekbone, steadying both of them.

azzi responded in kind, pressing closer, their bodies molding together in that perfect way that felt like a secret being whispered. it was soft, yes, but it was also charged with every unspoken feeling they’d been too scared to name out loud: longing, hope, and something that felt dangerously close to love.

the kiss lingered, unhurried, like they were writing it into memory.

and when they finally broke apart, noses brushing, foreheads resting against each other’s, their lips still tingled with the ghost of their kiss. they were breathing a little too hard, faces a little too warm, but neither of them moved away.

behind them, the basketball rolled lazily across the cracked pavement, forgotten. above them, the last light of day faded into indigo. and between them, a quiet certainty settled.

they didn’t need to say it aloud.

they were finally here, together.

at last.

—

[richarlotte]

Most important steps to your glow up?

Top Tier.

Braces.

I had my braces on for 18 months, and they were the best decision of my life. I can breathe better, my jaw and chin look better, my teeth are straighter, and I have no more pain. Facial harmony is everything, and mine was restored by an expert orthodontist and continued use of my retainers. Jaw surgery wasn’t reasonable or necessary, but I can’t even begin to describe the impact that dental whitening, braces, weight loss, and proper dental care work had on my face.

 

Electrolytes and Hydration.

I was severely dehydrated and in need of electrolytes for years and years. I thought that drinking enough water wasn’t as important as people made it seem, but my life changed when I started to do it. Life feels much less stressful now that I’m properly hydrated, and I make sure to toss a little lemon and salt in my water and drink a Gatorade or Liquid IV to get electrolytes.

 

Darker and Longer Hair.

I look better with hair that’s long, dark, and thick. I have alopecia, so I did a number of things to disguise my hair loss growing up, but I wear wigs now that my hair is gone. I was told to wear my hair long, dark, and straight last year, and whenever I do, people tell me that I look otherworldly. Now that I know what to do with my hair and what looks best, I’m a million times more confident about myself.

 

Less Dairy.

I am not lactose intolerant, but I do not need to be eating dairy in excess. I enjoy dairy, so I won’t cut it out of my diet, but I don’t need to be eating it in the amount that I did. I was bloated, always breaking out, and tired all the time, but my low energy dissipated the second I cut my dairy intake. I’m not 100% dairy-free and most likely won’t ever be, but I’m careful with the amount I consume.

 

Korean Contact Lenses.

Americans think that all colored contact lenses are unnatural, and American-made colored contacts are. I use Olens contacts and only use the dark shades, and they’re amazing. I find that having huge, dark, striking eyes helps me get exactly what I want, and I love the way I look when I’m wearing contacts. I use contacts to craft my look and emphasize my eyes, and I never buy or use colors that aren’t brown or black. Wearing dark contacts has reduced my need for so much bright eye makeup; they make me look friendlier, and I look better in photos.

 

Better Quality Makeup.

Investing in higher-quality makeup and actually learning how to apply it was crucial. Buying Hourglass, Pat McGrath, Charlotte Tilbury, MAC, and Nars was sort of essential to my makeup journey, and I look much better now that I’ve invested the time and money into learning about makeup. Dupes just don’t hold up to the real things, and I look better now that I’m spending $45 on one product instead of spending $45 on five different products to try to replicate the look.

 

Urea, Glutamic Acid, and Dry Brushing.

I used to have serious strawberry arms and legs, dry skin, and dark spots from body acne, but all of that has cleared up. Hyaluronic acid and body serums have nothing on this combo, and dry brushing has completely cleared up my rough skin and helped with my stretch marks. If you want skin that’s plump, hydrated, glowing, and looks healthy, then you have to exfoliate your dry and wet skin and start using this trio to care for your body.

 

Better Skincare Products.

I invested a lot in using fancy designer brands, but the things that helped me the most were basic, unscented, and quality. I use Paula’s Choice exfoliant, plenty of SPF 100, retinol, and a variety of Korean and American products. My facial acne is gone, my dark marks are cleared, my skin barrier is healed, my skin looks healthier, and I’m glowing. Drunk Elephant, celebrity skincare brands, and trending products didn’t do it for me; figuring out what I needed and then implementing it into my routine helped.

 

Creating my own aesthetic.

I won’t stop talking about The Blend because it helped me become who I am today. I wanted to create a look that would help me, and so I had to spend months solidifying my image. It took me a year to get to where I am today, but life became easier once I was able to figure out what I should be doing, what I should be saving for or investing in, and what suited me. The Blend isn’t just about style, and I had to be scientific with it at times and really work with the resources I had and what was readily accessible to me.

I can do Mid Tier next.

[sparklecarehospital-archive]

been reflecting on my year a bit, and i was thinking about something. i think i know what the best thing i did for myself this year was.

making cometcare public. making the ask blog.

ive had this AU stirring in my brain since 2019, ever since i got really attached to doomi during the haunted arc. one reason i went so long without revealing pollarrydoomi as a ship to readers was because doom's crush wasn't public information until late 2021.

i had kept his crush a mystery for 3 years, but revealed it after a fun experience where people figured out who it was through guessing. i'm pretty sure i did a poll about it? asking people to guess who they thought it was, and uni won the vote, meaning everyone had already figured it out.

after pollarrydoomi was revealed and i started drawing art for it and people made fanart for it, i still couldn't post any of my AU art because ally wasn't public and she and howie were in the AU. in july 2022, for the comic's birthday, i revealed ally as a character to the readers. others around the time had started to notice characters i had in pfps and i ended up telling everyone i did have pollarrydoomi ship kids, but i didn't make them public.

in november 2022, i revealed eve on toyhouse. after her reveal, i would soon reveal sly as well in december 2022 on my birthday (revealing sly as a birthday present to myself is such a funny gesture now that you guys know how important he is to me). over the next few weeks i revealed cream, frosty, and marco as well. all of the main cometkids except chem.

then one day someone out there suggested that i make an ask blog for the cometcare AU. it was such a spontaneous decision, and i didn't even really know what i was gonna do with it at first. i was just kinda messing around. but when i made the blog i realized that if i wanted this AU to be experienced in complete authenticity, i couldn't make uni cis.

so i revealed uni being trans through the blog, despite the fact i'd gone so many years without ever revealing her identity. why did i do it? there's a lot of reasons. not wanting to make her a "dad" in the AU contributed, but also i felt like it wouldn't be detrimental to the story to confirm a character being trans. it also made me (and the crew in general) a lot more comfortable being able to properly refer to uni with her actual pronouns.

making the ask blog really changed me, because finally i could share this little family and comfort story i'd built in my brain with the world and make it real and make content for it and let people consume it.

but what stopped me most of all?

i've said it many times before... but i felt like it was cringey.

i felt like making an AU with 93985893844 fankids in a ridiculous complicated polycule wasn't something a Serious content creator should do, and i was really worried the reception would be negative or people would think it was stupid or something. i did NOT expect it to become as popular as it is. the blog actually has more followers than the MAIN ASK BLOG for the canon comic. it was received SO POSITIVELY and the fact it was just kind of blows me away.

it means so much to me. being able to share the most special thing in my life with people and for people to actually like it and have fun with me and want to see it, and for me to be able to not have to follow strict professionalism about spoilers and chronological storytelling, and being able to change and add in things whenever i felt like it. it's such a freeing experience.

when i was a kid, i used to make stories and OCs and i didn't take them as seriously as i do the sparklecare reboot. this kind of turned into my entire life and career kinda, so i had to take it more seriously. but making this AU honestly just makes me feel like i'm a kid again, it makes me feel like i can have fun and literally do whatever the fuck i want without worrying what people think or if it's realistic or if it makes any sense.

i know though, that some people don't like pollarrydoomi. and i know why. whether it's because of being attached to barruni (of course, they're the canon ship and main characters, i get it) or just having discomfort with the idea of shipping doom with anyone when canonically he hasn't experienced a redemption arc... i get it. i know not everyone likes it.

and that's okay! people are entitled to having their own feelings about content. i understand it. and i've come to accept that's always going to be the case with anything i do with these characters.

but i'm still going to do this for myself. i do this because it makes me happy to just have fun and not worry about being serious all the time. it feels good, especially when it's with characters that are really really important to me.

cometcare is genuinely the most special and important thing i've ever made for myself, it's such a huge piece of my identity and it makes me who i am. and being able to make this story public and share it with people and share these things that have been in my brain for so long with others means so much to me.

that's why i think it was the best thing i've done this year. it's kind of literally changed my life to be able to talk about them. it's made me happier than i've ever been making content. i'm not just making it to entertain myself alone anymore, i'm making it to entertain others like i do with other stuff. and the fact people actually like it still is unbelievable to me.

so, i guess my outlook for next year as it comes is to continue to stop taking everything so seriously. i can tell my stories however i want to. i hope others can realize they can do this too.

please make whatever you want, whenever you what, as much as you want, even if it doesn't make sense or if it's "cringe". you will be so much happier when you realize as a creator you DON'T have to take all of this so seriously. the comic still exists and people read it even if i'm doing this. You Can Do Whatever You Want And Nobody Can Ever Stop You. the only person who can stop you is yourself when you let your inhibitions get in the way of your ability to create things for yourself.

have fun! life is too short to take everything you do seriously

[pixiecaps]

no bc im not usually involved w stuff like this and believe everyone should be held accountable for their actions no matter what. but seeing the way quackity has been seen as non human, any emotion or misstep he has being seen as manipulative or fake is like crazy. i don’t understand how people don’t see like wait, your actually just being racist you are not capable of seeing him as a person, why? it feels like he really could’ve handled this perfectly and there still would be this large crowd regarding him as a heartless fraud??

truly. i have closely observed this situation and listened to both sides and theres a lot of different opinions that can co exist and theres a lot of complexity to them.

one particular thing that has bothered me and made me uncomfortable is the projection of quackity as this scheming conniving figure. its gross. him having to explain that hes had previous experiences like this where he keeps any sort of bad situation with another creator private and that in turn has made him perceived as more manipulative is so sad. and this isnt surprising obviously since this is something ive witnessed. but overall i think with the internet nowadays theres a large mindset that everything needs to be public information and shared with the audience while they preach to solve things in the dms. people only care for a show and to watch creators destroy themselves. thats what twitter is and what a lot of people actively strive to do on that platform. specifically in regards to leak communities.

everyone should be aware enough that theyre allowed to criticize quackity and the decisions he’s made that people may not agree with. he acknowledges that himself. but to paint him as anything other then human and someone who has deeply fucked up reaches that level where it is racism. i dont think many people quite realize micro aggressions when they see them. so theres that. and then theres obviously the extremes of the situation when it came to the doxxing and death threats. people actively celebrating and saying it surely is an okay thing to spread because well he fucked up right? hypocrisy. this goes the same way for any admin or worker involved the situation that has been sent and told the same.

this entire situation has proved to me that nobody knows how to properly handle anything or how to properly react to anything and choosing instead to immediately jump to those extremes mentioned in the name of activism and moral superiority.

anyways support the admins. listen to their stories. criticize media you consume in a constructive manner. call out xenophobia and racism when you see it. and treat people like the humans they are. they will all make mistakes each side has made a mistake. yes this also applies to the people in the community. think for more than a second before you post anything for fucks sake.

[softness-and-shattering]

Im not the first person to complain about fatphobia in baldurs gate 3. Its just a lot worse than not being able to make fat player characters, tav or durge. Its that there are almost no fat people at all in this whole world.

Ive played close to 300 hours, and I havent fully explored act 3. There's some characters who are quite large. Halsin is tall and broad but he has a trim six pack. So does Karlach, despite being buff she has quite a narrow waist. Weird to be a barbarian without serious core strength. Korilla and Hope are very curvy, but no belly.

I can only think of two actually fat characters are neither are great. One is Glut, the myconid sovereign who asks you to betray Spaw, when you have no other reason to dislike Spaw. Firstly, the name. Glut - Glutton - he's fat. You dont have to also name him fatso. He feel entitled to a colony of myconids and is happy to kill Spaw about it, its just an ownership rulership ambition there's no justice to it. And if you refuse you have to kill him. So firstly he's non-human, non-humanoid, the hobgoblin specifically states than myconids have way less going on mentally than the player character and its kind of unclear to me if they're a hivemind or not. In that fantasy grey area of if they're properly people rather than unusually conscious vegetables. And he's also basically an asshole.

The other fat character is Thisobald Thorm. To begin with he's undead, and the son of a major undead villain. Not a great start. Second, he has four legs. Yes there are lots of unusual human variations and I suppose a person could have four legs and that would be fine. But why make that Thisobalds 'quirk'. Its clearly that he's soooo fat that he cant possibly move around on two legs so lets give him another set and make him monstrous. He needs to move around because he can be a mini-boss battle and it would be soooo hard to animate two big legs, or even two comically small legs. Nah we gotta give him four, evoke monstrosity. And then, the ways that encounter can go, is you either totally ignore him, or you interact. If you interact, you have to kill him, and if you talk your way through it he literally explodes from being too fat. Theres lines about his stomach seems like its going to burst open from all its holding and then it does. And then theres no body left behind, just the pile of gore thats also left behind when you raise zombies. He cant even be a humanoid corpse, he explodes so violently from sheer fatness that nothing recognisable is left behind.

And yes I know the excuse is that hes drinking this super intense poison alcohol brew and thats what gets him. That doesnt make it better. I dont know of any toxic substance that makes a person explode. Its not otherwise explosive. That isnt a thing that happens. There's no point someone gets so fat and so full that they explode. Its a gross outcome for a character you're intended to be entirely disgusted by. (its also not any kind of representation for people who consume various uh tabboo substances but I cant really speak to that aspect).

Two fat people, neither entirely human or allowed to be a person, one an asshole and one with no good ending. Like. cmon. You figured out how to animate dragonborn faces, and tails, you can have people be fat. It isnt actually a monstrous trait its actually super normal, its weird and urealistic that everyone in all of Faerun is slim. That doesnt happen in real life. The gender/sex options, and the vitiligo, thats fantastic. Yes keep representing and letting us play as all kinds of different people. Add some body types that arent just tall short/slim muscular too! For the player and the NPC's.

[thesonicpunk]

youre so right that the way kishimoto limits sakura bc of his own misogyny reflects the things girls often face irl. based on what ive seen from interviews, kishimoto is the kind of male writer who thinks women need inherently be written differently from and have different types of stories than men, and it creates this weird self-fulfilling prophecy whereby believing he's not good at writing girls, he ends up being bad at writing girls. but somehow it sometimes circles back around to making him good at it? the struggle of always feeling like you're second-best to the men in your life...but by focusing only on trying to surpass them you just end up centering yourself around them even when you've forged your own path...shes so girlhood to me

aaaa anon ur egging me on ahah (i love it, let's discuss euehuhehu, or not u can just ignore me lol) I'm sorry it took me so long to reply, I had a deadline and halfway through writing this i realised i wanted to do it properly and so I had to come back when I had time It does kinda circle around to Kishimoto crafting a portrayal of aspects of girlhood that's, well, maybe not good since its not intentional or well explored/resolved, but definitely accurate in a lot of ways.

I've always thought Sakura's crush on Sasuke being a big chunk of her focus in life is a great example of this. Kishimoto writes it in because that's how he sees women: what else could they want other than a man? And he needs to show how desirable Sasuke is because his audience wants to see it, they're teenage boys after all and Sasuke's the cool anti-hero (Naruto's too goofy and the underdog at this point in the story for her to like him) so of course Sakura's in love with him. But, at the same time, Sakura's crush being so central in her life is quite accurate because, as a girl, you're socialised since you're very young to desire a certain type of man: the man all men want to be, because men want you to desire them. In this case, this is Sasuke: the cool, aloof, powerful shinobi from a prestigious clan, the strongest, top of the class guy.* You're told by all the media you consume, the stories you read, the comments your family makes and the relationships that are modelled for you in society in general that you exist to love a guy, to take care of him, that your biggest dream should be being worthy of that guy's love, because what else is there for a girl to aspire to? And as a girl you don't just accept it, because it's deeper and more ingrained than that: you actually want your life to look like that. Because all the other girls who already have that are so pretty, and when you smile people compliment you, and you're told that's where your worth lies, and you want to have worth and you want people to pay attention because it feels good. (That's why going after a guy like Sasuke, who is emotionally unavailable, is also very realistic: it feels better when it's hard won. it's like, "he isn't affectionate with anyone, so if he is affectionate with me, i've really got worth!" which is something we see Sakura feeling well into her marriage with Sasuke in Boruto, and it's very sad that she still accept such a behaviour after growing up.)

Even when you have other aspirations (becoming a ninja, in this case) you are just confronted with the idea that you will never be as strong/good/powerful as the men in your life (like you pointed out). The system has it in for you in the first place: it hasn't been designed for you to thrive. Your teacher doesn't push you as hard as he pushes the boys, he doesn't pay as much attention to you as he pays to the boys, and everyone always acts like you're defenceless in the batter field, not giving you a chance to prove yourself. So why shouldn't you feel like you maybe are less than the guys? If your teachers and your teammates see you that way, then maybe that's what you are. Can you really fault Sakura for believing that when so many women irl struggle with this immensely too? You're already taking a caretaker/disciplinarian role within your team because you're the girl, and you're only 13, so maybe you should stick to that, because that you're good at, and Kakashi praises you for not being difficult like the boys, because "boys will be boys" but Sakura-chan you're so easy to deal with!!! And then you find your niche, something you're good at (tho, ofc, it's not by coincidence that kishi's strongest women in Naruto are healers - tsunade and sakura - that in itself is already an essentialisation of female nature, but i won't get into it here, even tho it adds to everything) , and you work your ass off at that: you're not from a special clan, you have no special powers like Naruto or Sasuke, but you've become the strongest medic ninja and yet. That doesn't seem enough for the fandom to see your worth, you routinely get called weak and useless because subpar writing didn't give you enough chances to shine (even tho you have all the potential) exactly because your writer is misogynistic. yay When Sakura goes after Naruto to convince him to back down so they can kill Sasuke, of course she uses her womanhood as her weapon. Of course she tells him she likes him instead. It's desperate, it's flawed, it's even misguided, but she's been told all her life that's all she's got to offer, she's been told all her life that's what men will respond to and she's tried to keep up with them but she feels like she can't on her own terms (tho she can!!! she can she can she can), so she succumbs to the default way society tells her she has value. And Naruto defies a lot of things by saying no here, he defies even the patriarchy/comphetness he himself partook in as a child (by crushing on her, by wanting to be like Sasuke), and further solidifies himself as an extremely compelling male protagonist IMO (Kishimoto misses a lot but he didn't miss here, but anyways i'm not analysing naruto rn ahah);

This is just another way Boruto (the show) actively tarnishes Naruto's characters. Unfortunately, there was space for things to be resolved differently. With the ending of Naruto, we could have imagined something else for Sakura: she could have grown out of her crush on Sasuke, realised her worth, that her life doesn't need to revolve around him and invested her time in becoming whatever it is that she wants to become, but instead..... Sakura becomes a housewife who abandons her own aspirations as a ninja to be a sometimes-useful-prop in a narrative about another boy, she's gotten married to an emotionally unavailable man that doesn't really love her and is never around, and yet she still pines over him after years of neglect and pretends to be satisfied (but isn't really, who would be?) by the tiniest slither of affection and of course, A CHILD. Because that's all women are for, and all that they should aspire to in the next stage of their lives: why wouldn't she be happy now that she has a kid with Sasuke? She even says it herself.

Tbh it's all a bit gross! But in a way, realistic, since unfortunately this is the life of a lot of women out there. Also don't come for me for this take, the things i'm saying are informed by my own experiences growing up as a girl. Ofc there's nothing wrong with choosing a more domestic life as a woman, that's clearly not what i'm critiquing here.

TL;DR; She is so girlhood !!!!

*this is damaging to Sasuke too, as we know, because it incentivises a flat, superficial, unkind view of who he is as a person that overlooks his traumas, pressures him to play a role and limits who he is/what he needs and deserves in a friend/partner too. That patriarchy is damaging to men themselves is not news tho, it's the same for men in real life.

[viscera-vampire-gutz]

hi. for the ask post:

any grotto thoughts 😁. like about anything at all

-7 (i dont want to send asks w my main)

i’m good about remembering to answer things ❤️ ok hi i’ve been . LOSING MY MIND just in general the grotto has consumed my life like fully like actual and i cannot stop relating it to things happening in my real life which is NOOOOOOT good. but it’s ok because we ball. i still need to relisten to everything about a million more times but ive just been looping the music ever since i woke up ,,, i dont even know what to do there are so many things in my mind. there’s a ton of art i want to make — specifically one ive been thinking abt is david in the cave with ambrose’s guardian angel line? yeah i think about that a normal amount. Ummm relatedly a david piece based on the cover art for iris … idk i was looking at it earlier and was like. Yeah this could be a biblical angel. so there’s that. and then generally just ,,, ok this idea i had more recently Like it came together properly in my mind more recently but i wanna do a piece with matt paired with different people, david emily and ambrose i think? with cracks and shit in between idk IM REALLY INSPIRED BY YOIR ART OFTEN I CANT LIE i really really love your composition of things so i have been Looking 👁️👁️ with my eyes … help i also. redid my phone wallpapers with your art OOPS. IRS SO GOOD WHAT AM I MEANT TO DOOOOOOO ITS SO GOOD. grotto BRAINROT. lock screen is the repaired piece and home screen is the shattered piece if you’re curious lol IM! NORMAL! i’m normal often I ALSO KEEP THINKING AHOUT THE GAMING DAY ON WEDNESDAY IN THE SETVER THAY EAS SO DUMB tko was so stupid. what do you mean i want to buy a shirt that has the grotto logo with arms and an eyeball and it says I peed your pants. what the hell. guys i love this community and this podcast so much it makes me ill. check on me in six years btw surely nothing bad will happen and i will not be returning to this podcast for any reason whatsoever. something something i have been to the future Im not finishing this though. ok.

[respawned-dove]

hi!! could I rq medic with an extremely masochistic reader? =^.^=

getting surgery with no anesthesia and having someone just touch and rearrange and just play with ur organs seems like the most intimate thing ever to me teehee

Medic time, oorah! Please enjoy, I love the chance to write gore.

Medic x gn! Reader, Erotic Surgery

CW/TW: medical horror, blood, organs, unsanitary, surgery, cannibalism, slight dehumanization, general medical talk CW, death mention, graphic descriptions of gore

The operating theatre is dimly lit by just the setting sun outside, and the room smells so soaked through with blood that a leech would turn up its nose. The sterile green and white tile around you is stark in contrast. Your breathing fills your own ears, slightly ragged. The IV in your arm pumps you full of drugs that keep you well awake and aware and the pain is all-consuming, even with the small amount of opiates in your bloodstream. Not that you mind that. Speaking of your IV, Medic pauses to check on it, pulling back from the single deep cut along your chest and stomach to ensure the line is seated deep inside the back of your hand.

He catches your gaze and tuts at you, his lips curling into a smile. "Ouwww, is the pain too much already? Your eyes are so wide." His gloved hand comes towards your eye and holds the lids open for him to gaze in to. "Your pupil too, for that matter." He checks the other one, his top lip protruding outward as he focuses. Your other pupil matches, so he sees no cause for concern, humming with interest. "Tell me, how do you feel?"

"G-good. Bad?" You pull in a breath and stare down at the glistening blood leaking from the wound in you, entranced. "I don't know."

"So much for being a masochist then!" he teases, tugging at your cheek, leaving blood stains in his wake. "Don't be such a baby. We have just started after all."

The blade touches your skin again, along the same lines, deeper now. A moan leaves your lips, pleasure blooming from every blood-soaked line he cuts through you. You can't help squirming underneath him, and his gloves pat your thigh.

"You must be still, mein Tier. I need to have a steady blade!" You squeak as he drags the blade along the underside of your flesh, a noise that quickly turns into a heated groan and blood wells up that he doesn't even bother to wipe away. Medic chuckles as his hand pulls away your layers of skin to expose your guts beneath. If the Medigun was not trained on you, you probably would be in much more pain, and even with the blinding white hot feeling filling your mind, you're tempted to beg him to move it away.

"More..." you beg, voice quiet.

"What was that?" he says, comically holding up a bloody hand to his ear as though trying to amplify your gasping voice. "I can't hear you, you are bleeding too loudly!" You're too lost in sensation to reply to his teasing, so he turns back to your open stomach cavity. "Mmm... so viele Goodies in here!" His hand plunges into the wet, warm innards of your body, his face flushing over top a wide grin of excitement. A loud, choked moan leaves you, your eyes snapping wide open as your body jolts, trying to reject the intrusion. But it can't, and he knows that, and it serves to make him more excited.

Medic's breath is heavy as he grasps your lower intestines, and all but rips through the membrane holding it together, pulling them out like a string of yarn. Bloody, gory yarn. "Holy shit," you cry, the feeling of your body cavity being emptied making you grit your teeth. You look down to him to find him staring down at your guts in his hands, eyes wide as his smile. More of a snarl actually. "Medic-?"

Before you can inquire properly, Medic's teeth sink into the disgusting organ in front of him, uncaring of cleanliness. You cry out, still able to feel it, the blinding sparks that it sends through your body. Fists gripping into your own hands so hard it leaves imprints of your nails, you shudder and slump onto the metal table.

"Sehr lecker..." Medic says, voice small and breathless, eyes wild. He pushes his glasses up and laughs. "Aheh. My apologies! I got carried away." He glances over your flushed face and aroused body, and smirks. "Not that you seem to care. Filthy thing."

That sentence overtakes your brain. Filthy. You are filthy, getting off on this. But the fact that Medic not only doesn't care, but is also into it, only makes the degradation hotter. You are both filthy, disgusting, and you are together.

Medic's hands wander to your liver and kidneys, groping the organs in a way that sends flashes of red across your whole being. Your kidney squishes in his hand, seeping gore around his fingers. The Medigun doesn't stop your body from feeling like it's dying, and as blood and viscera pours out of your crushed organs, you feel closer to death than even a respawn. In the haze of pain and chemicals overwhelming your brain you look down at his face, and only one thought crosses your half present mind. "You look so beautiful like that, doc."

Medic laughs, almost cooing like a dove in the sound of it. "Well thank you! You look very, very nice like this too, Tier." He reaches over and checks your IV again. "Hoo, you are running out of that fast! Your blood just eats up any drug I give you. Well, it may have to do with how much you are losing. Eh, no matter!" He adjusts his glasses again, blood smearing on his nose. "I need to get you new kidneys, aheh, I may have crushed yours too much."

That's the last sentence you properly process, as the drugs in you begin to wear off as they finally fully seep out with your blood, sending you slowly into unconsciousness.

You wake up to Medic tapping your cheeks, drawing you out of the blackness. Your body feels better, though it aches and feels wrong inside of you. Lord only knows what manner of organs are inside of you now, knowing how much Medic likes to experiment. He's saying something that you can't yet hear through the ringing in your ears. "What..?" you say dizzily.

"I said wie geht's, how are you feeling!"

You try to have the brain power to consider it, but you lost a lot of blood. "Tired," is all you can offer. Looking down, your stomach wound is closed up completely, with the help of both stitches and the Medigun. Looking slightly further down, you find one of Medic's birds picking at your stitches. Medic follows your gaze and shoos it away, a nettled scoff leaving him at its audacity.

"Birds," he laughs to you. "Here, komm hier." He holds out a hand to you, a strong arm helping you sit up. You groan in pain as your stomach bends. But it certainly isn't unattractive.

You grin at him with slightly gritted teeth, feeling warmth pooling inside you again as you think about what you just did. You wrap your arms around his shoulders flirtatiously, sighing. "Medic, you have got to hurt me like that more often."

He smiles at you, hands already grabbing at you again. "It would be not only my pleasue to, mein Schatz, but yours too."

[makemarvinahappyboy]

Marvin's introduction.

Hello. I'm not the best at things like this, so here it goes.

My name is Marvin Feynman, I'm a Freshman in highschool. (So i'm 14, if anyone couldn't tell.)

I enjoy theatricals and history, though I don't really like much else. I'm currently interested in Christopher Columbus, and I'll also be auditioning for him in my school play. I like my theatre teacher, Miss Goldberg. She's nice to me sometimes.

I was actually introduced to theatre by my sweetheart. She's.. a person.

There's a thing for asks, I believe? So leave those if you'd like. I think I'm interesting. No, scratch that, I know I'm interesting.

That's all for now. Goodbye.

// mod intro below cut.. //

hai my name is andrew.. (usually i go by marvin but that would be too confusing based on this blog) im super super cool and stuff..

im autistic and in trousers has been my special interest for over a year now ..and marvin has been consuming my SOUL lately so i decided to make this!!

his use of proper punctuation is based on the fact ive set this around 1963..(yes they didn't have tumblr then i know this. don't mention it or I swear to god) I've also just always seen him as a person that'd speak properly aswell so that's that I guess 💔 not the best explaining but we ball

when im rping as marvin it'll be tagged as '#marvin' or '#marvin answers', if im ooc ill tag it '#ooc' (obviously)

if anyone has any other rp accounts and perchance would like to join then you're more then welcome!!

my main is @therapeofmissgoldberg .. but anyways, PLEASE SEND ASKS!! I LOVE ANSWERING STUFF!!

[xoluvx]

HI!! your girlfriend is here, because she's currently missing you. soooo here she is to write yet another set of things she really likes about you! because i want you to feel cared for, because i really care about you so much!!!! just a quick reminder. so,

i love how you always seem to show interest, like i can tell you about the cup of coffee im having and you'll even react to that! its such a nice feeling. your name being in everything, diaween, dia and night, dia dreaming its so cute you have no idea. the way you double check if everything is alright, it makes me feel like i actually matter. the way every lyric of "something" reminds me of you, the way the same song made me want to write this because god that song was written for you. the way you just randomly texted me that we have a daughter together, the way i know you would be the greatest mother. how i seek comfort in you, the moment i don't feel the best, i just need a "hi baby" message from you. i love how its natural to love you. like its something i was meant to do all this time. loving you feels like home, you are my home. you are my everything, really. i love calling you my girlfriend, there is nothing i love more. its peaceful to be in our cute little bubble, ive never felt more comfort. i really long to be as caring, patient, comforting, loving and understanding as you are. youre an amazing girlfriend dia, but beyond that, youre an amazing person. i love how you just came into my life all of a sudden. i never expected to be in this situation, at all. but, im so glad you did, and im so glad i like surprises. i love how with you i don't feel any shame in anything. nothing. i love how soft your words are, how smoothly they roll off your tongue. you're like a sacred piece of art, like everyone wants a bit of you, always yearning to see you and interract with you. but only i can. does that make sense? im bad with words. oh, and i love how you never make me feel dumb. i love how youre the most gentle person ever. how even your soul feels like the most gorgeous being ever. how the warmth of your body feels like the comfort of a thousand suns burning into my skin. how you pull me deeper in every and any emotion. how i can cry and laugh at the same time with you. how you're there for me. dia you are always there for me. i want to be there for you too.

but there's something that pains me. it pains me that you will never ever know how much i really care for you. you will never even properly know how much i want to spend all of my days with you. i will never find the words to fully express all of my sweet emotions and thoughts about you. and it pains me that you will never properly learn how much love i hold for you. the words "i love you" aren't just three words for me. they mean eternal love that is kept alive for you. from the depths of my heart, which is almost fully consumed by you, i love you.

that’s mine 💖

“To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that's everything.” Irini Zoica

[grubloved]

How did you learn how to cook so well? Esp with interesting flavour combos?

oh i do not do most of the cooking! i bake bread and things, ive been baking for a long time! but most of the other things i post -- like, pasta and soup and such -- my lovely partner lavender made. theyve got a really incredible instinct for seasoning and cooking things perfectly :3 we brainstorm a lot of our meals together just idly talking about what we've got in the fridge and what sounds tasty and i'll contribute gnocchi or bread or something to a meal and i help prep or brown butter or whatever... but they are the one who makes the real magic happen, i can't take credit for that.

for the actual answer:

i learned to bake from my mama! but i really recommend king arthur flour's recipes for beginners. a great deal of them have videos, too, so you can get an idea of what the bread is supposed to look like at each step in the process. the thing about baking is that it is pretty precise -- you need to follow instructions to the letter until youve built up the working knowledge to be able to make decisions by instinct! but this also means anybody can do it as long as you follow the instructions :)

cooking is different -- there's a lot of wiggle room! there's some specific techniques and chemistry to keep in mind, but in general there's a lot more room for experimentation than in baking. my partner says most of how they learned to cook was just consuming a lot of other people cooking -- a lot of youtube! j kenji lopez-alt is a favorite of theirs because his videos are a good resource for learning techniques and how to think about cooking things properly. and then it's just a lot of practice! it's good to start with recipes and find out what you like, and then as you get more confident you can try doing little variations on those recipes -- what happens if i brown the meat a little first? what happens if i use brown butter instead of butter, or yogurt instead of cream? and then eventually just wing it!

as far as flavor combos go -- it's just about building up your personal memory of what tastes good! paying attention to ingredients in food you're enjoying and trying to identify the flavors is a really good first step. what's in here? what are the flavors doing to each other? as u pay more attention you'll get better at picking out what's going on in a meal you're eating -- and then that can inform your decisions and thought process when you're making something yourself! as you get more familiar with things over time sometimes you will be able to make a connection you haven't made before -- like my rosemary cookies :) also just have fun and experiment!!!

[teal-skull]

My pirate spring is soon over but watch out, I might have a pirate summer ahead of me.

Actually spending almost half a year in the academic world of pirate history and spending way too much time thinking about how we ended up from this:

(written out in alt text)

("News." Weekly Journal or Saturday's Post, 15 Oct. 1720. Seventeenth and Eighteenth Century Burney Newspapers Collection.)

To eventually this:

(bonus points for the nerds who know who this is)

Kinda re-ignited my childhood fascination with pirates. It has never really gone away. (i mean that's why I did my thesis)

And like it's cool to just kinda work through what I already thought I knew about pirates (by consuming so many children's pirate """factbooks""" as a kid) and correcting what I have been right or wrong about, or how some things are still debated among pirate historians and read 18th century newspapers and come home to play AC IV black flag you know?

I want to read more books about pirates, but like this time they are properly cited lol.

[grcetxt]

liked a few lego batman things bcs its the best film ever now my feed is FULL of the actual batman and his kids lore. like im not complaining bcs it looks cool as shit! but ive literally never consumed any of the content properly so i am VERY confused. what do you MEAN theres more than one robin? who the FUCK is jason? Their family dynamic is cute as hell but WHAT is happening? he died? but not? one of thems like- posh? theres ones that are ACTUAL KIDS?? WHAT??

[literallys-illiteracy]

I Know im late:

Ok so the new Limbus Releases:

ive been too busy watching streamers to remember to write... or eat but thats also the amphetamine

Multi Crack Office Faust:

src: Eonyan

the Charge potency mechanic is back, and is present in all 3 items of this release; This ID gains charge on Skills 1 and 3, and spends it on skills 1 and 2, which diverges from the standard which W/R corp id's had given us in the past

Passive:

Her passive is able to give increased damage up to 15% more damage while at 5 charge potency, While under 50% HP, gain an up to 25% additional increase to damage; Calculation is (3 x Charge Potency), and a bonus (5 x Charge Potency) under the threshold.

As all 3 charge potency passives, gain 1 charge potency for every 10 charge count spent.

Skill 1:

rolls 11 with no charge, gains 3 charge count on hit. can spend 5 Charge count for coin power, making it roll up to 15.

Skill 2:

Rolls for 16 without charge being spent. spends 10 charge to gain coin power, rolling for 22 Max. If at 5~9 Charge count, spend HP to gain necessary charge for conditional. (between 10 and 2% hp)

If in an envy resonance chain of 3+, which it should be because this is your primary source of damage, consume all charge count on self and deal (Charge potency + 4)% increased damage for every charge count this skill spent, including for the coin power conditional, to a maximum of 180% increase.

When accounting for passive, this is a 220% increase to damage from Kit alone.

Skill 3:

This Skill rolls for 16 base, theoretically at least. as this skill gives you charge, and gains coin power based on charge potency, which will be 1 by default, it's actual lowest-max roll is 19.

If used while you already have charge, this skill can roll for 20, 24, 28, and 32 at 1,2,3, and 4 charge potency respectively.

This skill on its own is able to give between 9 and 16 charge count based on potency which allows you to turn 2 your Skill 2 whilst gaining bonus damage due to the envy fragility which this skill applies.

While at 2+ Charge potency, inflict an additional Envy Fragility. While at 3+ charge potency, deal 8% increased damage on coin 4, max of 40% at 5 Potency.

This ID strikes a balance between gaining and spending charge count; The mechanic of charge potency works well with the skills 1 and 2 spending charge, rather than the skill 3 like previous ID's.

I do find that there is sometimes a difficulty in fights to gain your charge count efficiently due to your s2 being your most consistent skill, your skill 1 being slightly negative on charge, and only having 1 S3 in your deck.

Defence Skill:

Her defence skill is named charge and gives her charge.

Dimension Shredder Outis:

src: qiujia_UvU

Shockingly this EGO is not multi coined, depsite how long the animation is. Im starting to think that this is simply a thing with Charge related EGO and ID's because i predicted for the new ID's that they would reuse coins, the W corp Outis ID that it would reuse coins, and that this EGO would be multi coined.

This EGO rolls a 30, with an offence level of +5.

if at less than 10 Charge count, take 10% non lethal HP damage to gain +10 Charge count.

Consume all charge count on use, deal 1% increased damage for every charge count spent. (Max 30%) (technically consumes up to 40 Charge count, but the highest possible count outside of MD is 30, and there is no benefit higher than 30%)

Attack Weight 4, gains attack weight based on highest resonance, up to 6 attack weight total.

My main problem with this EGO is that it cant properly function without the use of W corp Outis, not only because it wants charge to function, but also because it wants Charge POTENCY, so even if she had another charge ID it wouldnt work to full efficiency.

[On hit] Inflicts Dimensional rift, max of 2 at 3 Charge Potency.

[On Hit] Gain 1 Haste and Load (something something outis gaining a load) for each charge potency. Note that you do in fact need charge potency to gain any, as this skill will consume ALL charge count, meaning that without a potency passive your Potency will be Zero. only 3 of either can be gained per use of the skill, which means that as long as you have W corp Outis passive, and 2 avaliable targets you gain max value from this.

[On kill] Does anybody give a shit about the on kill effects.

---

Passive:

max charge count +5, for a max of 25*

heres the other case of Needing charge potency to make use of this: skills which consume charge deal 2% increased damage for (Charge Potency - one), meaning that 6 is needed to gain the cap of 10%, and 2 is needed to activate this at a minimum.

Multi Crack Office Heathcliff:

i couldn't find any art of him in like my 2 mins of searching.

Passive:

charge potency for charge spent, as usual.

when at 2+ charge potency, gain haste, which will be important Later. At 3+ potency, gain additional Haste and clash power Up

Skill 1:

Rolls for 10, Spends 5 charge to roll 12. Gains 4 charge, making it 1 negative for charge count.

Skill 2:

Rolls for 13 base. Consumes charge//HP with the same conditional as faust's skill 2 to roll for 19.

This skill inflicts up to 4 defence level down, and 2 HP healing down, which makes its return from like 5 events ago in Hells Chicken.

A new effect, named photoelectricity, which gives the attacker charge count equal to count on hit (or count +3 if they are below 5 count), similar to Spark discharge but without the rupture count

Skill 3:

rolls for 13 base. Gains charge count based on potency, anywhere between 10 and 19 charge count.

at 2 and 4 charge potency rolls for 17 and 21 respectively.

inflicts the photoelectricity effect on hit. inflicts same turn Blunt fragility on hit, however as he gains haste from his passive, its not as bad as some others, however it means that he cant inflict both blunt fragility and defence level down in the same turn without using multiple slots.

Defence skill:

His defence skill is named charge and gives him charge

[absoluteaffirmative]

personal canon loredump don’t mind me lol

my canon is very divergent from show canon so there’s that too

also these are copy+pasted from discord

(might have a special tag for this maybe idk-)

i think ive figured out my canon maybe kinda

of course a lot of bad stuff happened but not to the extremes the show got to

the company, jcjenson, were behind a lot more events since in my canon the solver isn’t sentient or anything. idk how it “found” me but it integrated itself into my code and i figured it out, learned how it worked

maybe i was purposely exposed to it, maybe it was random chance. like i said idk

im incredibly grateful that tessa found me and not some company grunts because she gave me a proper name (she wasn’t too creative at naming tho lol) and fixed me up

hell, she liked me so much she gave me hair styled after her own hairstyle (i was secretly the favorite amongst us all, although j was found first and is therefore the “oldest”)

when i first actually used the solver accidentally, n was there and we learned about it together. v eventually got curious enough but j wanted none of it ofc

but tessa found out and thats how jcjenson became involved

i can understand her thinking; “one of my drones is exhibiting strange behaviors and has weird robot magic stuff that i can’t fully understand even with my technical expertise” and she didn’t know that the company would capture me that night at the gala, so i cant blame her but if she had simply asked i could’ve given her everything she wanted to know

but yeah, jcjenson were the ones who turned my “siblings” into disassembly drones, with my (very much non-consensual) help

see, i dont overheat and need to consume oil since i can handle the solver just fine

n, v and j can’t. jcjenson basically copied the solvers code and put it into them, before modifying them to be oil-extraction machines essentially

then theres copper-9, blablabla thats kinda all the same but it was tessa and i who went there together

our job was to remove the solver code from those three, but copper-9 (and cabin fever especially) was an entire can of worms we weren’t prepared for

and, fun bonus:

one good thing is that i have disassembly drone wings and tail because it automatically makes any drone look cool and im cool

plus also flying is fun

time for non-discord message stuff

in terms of who is more “stable” with the solver, it goes like this;

n, v, j & nori are/were the least stable; they all had the solver put into their code while still alive (ill explain myself later) and thus can’t handle the power/demands of it, leading to overheating

yeva and uzi surprisingly enough are somewhat similar; while yeva also had the solver put into her code, the patch she received nerfed the solver, thus giving her the abilities of the solver without much problem. uzi is different; because nori never got the patch, the version of the solver uzi got was kinda nerfed but not fully

next is doll; due to yeva receiving the patch, doll has the most nerfed solver version. she can’t overheat but she also can’t heal either

as for myself; the solver essentially revived me and became part of my own code, kinda changing it to properly fit the solver. i don’t overheat but i can heal