#of their asses about something that’s as old as Naruto like if you don’t get the characters and their motivations by now then idk man

[tariah23]

They’re still on Twitter calling Naruto the worst mc out of the big three simply because he was having panic attacks over Sasuke and gazing up at the stars thinking about him I see.

[autisticlancemcclain]

Keith comes over for Lance’s fifteenth birthday. Hunk is still in Hawaii, but he Skypes, and the three of them talk for two hours. It’s nice.

After Hunk hangs up, Lance decides he wants to make his own birthday cake. Keith decides he wants to help. Neither of them have ever baked by themselves before, but they figure it can’t be too bad.

And it isn’t – they make their way to Wal-Mart, buying six boxes of Betty Crocker’s yellow cake mix, because they don’t know if the box is telling the truth and it really does make a whole cake, so they figure a few extra boxes won’t hurt. They also buy eleven cans of icing, along with a bunch of blue food dye and sprinkles.

The next thing they do is try to put everything together. (They do, at this point, realise they have way too much shit. They only end up using two boxes for the cake, and one to eat the batter. And Lance will take no criticism on that – cake batter is fucking delicious.) That goes pretty well, too – they measure the ingredients and mix ‘em together. Easy. They even remember to grease the pan.

The… troubles, so to speak, come when they pop the cake in the oven and set a timer. Lance hoists himself up to sit on the counter while Keith does the dishes, because Lance is the Birthday Boy™ and is thus exempt from chores.

“In what world does being alive on a certain day mean you don’t have to do dishes,” Keith grumbles. Lance sticks out his tongue.

“In this world, where I am currently Queen of the Day, and you are subservient to me. Scrub the dishes in silence, mullet.”

Lance watches as the challenge visibly sparks up Keith’s spine. He straightens immediately, hands stilling. The sounds of scrubbing cease. Keith turns slightly to him, eyes dark and narrowed.

Lance gulps. He’ll deny it until his dying breath, but something stirs in his gut.

“What was that?” Keith asks carefully.

Lance has never been one to back down, even when he’s knee-deep in a pile of trouble. Especially not to Keith’s bitch ass, as objectively attractive as it may be.

“I said chop chop, get to work.”

Keith moves so fast he’s practically a blur. Water splashes everywhere, but Lance hardly notices. He’s too busy shrieking at the top of his lungs and vaulting over the counter. He sprints up the stairs, on all fours like an animal.

“Someone’s never seen a horror movie,” Keith growls, voice closer than Lance thought he was, and Lance chants in his head that it is not hot, it’s not, it’s lame and stupid and horrible and Keith is the worst. He is.

Lance finally makes it up the stairs and tears down the hallway, swinging into Veronica and Rachel’s bathroom and slamming the door shut milliseconds before Keith can follow him in. He turns the lock, panting heavily as the adrenaline hammers through his veins. The doorknob jiggles for a few seconds, as Keith turns the handle, but then stops abruptly. Footsteps fade as Keith walks away. Lance narrows his eyes. Since when does Keith give up so easily? (Once, Lance lied and said that he’s never once posted an embarrassing picture online and he has been carefully curating his online image his whole life. Keith pulled an all-nighter tracking down his old Tumblr account from when he was 11, and he didn’t even have his name on that thing. To this day Lance has no fucking clue how Keith found it, and lives with the constant shame that Keith has seen a picture of him posing in his room at like 3 in the morning, in front of his old Naruto poster, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue with the caption ‘im SO random XO RAWR XP’. If he thinks about the situation too much he feels like crawling into the nearest ditch and letting nature take him, so he shoves it quickly out of his mind, because it is his Birthday and he refuses to feel shame on his birthday.)

Suddenly the footsteps return, rapidly this time, and the handle jiggles again. A mounting horror washes through Lance as he remembers, abruptly, that the locks in his house are weird and every single one of them can be opened from the outside with a coin. Lance barely has time to even squeak before the door slams open and Keith comes barrelling through, colliding with him and sending them both tumbling to the floor. By the time Lance orients himself again, Keith is straddling him, pinning his shoulders to the ground and smirking at him.

“Who’s queen now, huh?” he taunts.

Lance swallows.

He swallows again.

He desperately prays his cheeks aren't as red as they feel, but he doubts God loves him that much.

“What’s the matter?” Keith asks, leaning closer. “Cat got your tongue?”

Lance isn’t even sure his brain is still working, let alone his fucking tongue. All he can feel is the length of Keith’s body pressed against his, the tensing of his muscles as he pins him down, the borderline fucking smoulder in Keith’s expression, two inches from his face –

A shrill beeping noise makes them both jump. They look around, then look at each other. What the hell is –

“Is that the smoke detectors?” Keith asks, and then they look at each other in horror.

“The cake!” they yell at the same time, and quickly untangle from each other and sprint back downstairs to the kitchen. The stove is billowing grey smoke, and a lot of it. Lance grabs a dishtowel and starts waving it back and forth, hoping to dispel some of it.

“Open the windows!” he shouts, and Keith rushes to comply. While he does that, Lance holds the towel in front of his face, slipping on an oven mitt with his other hand, and carefully opens the oven door. More smoke blows in his face, and he coughs, eyes burning. He blinks to clear them, and sighs in relief when he doesn’t see any flames. He carefully grabs the glass baking dish.

“Can you open the back door?” he asks. “I’m gonna set this outside, see if that clears the smoke a bit.”

Keith nods, and Lance rushes over to set the pan down on the concrete stairs. Luckily, the glass doesn’t crack. They go back inside, closing the screen door behind them, and take a moment to stare in hopeless silence at the hazy kitchen in front of them.

“So much for that cake,” Keith says.

“Mamá is going to kill me,” Lance breathes. “I am going to die at fifteen.”

Keith grimaces. “Maybe we can scrape off the burnt parts?”

Lance thinks back to the block of char currently sitting in the backyard, and imagines him and Keith with a butterknife each, desperately scraping off the black in a vain attempt to find even a sliver of edible cake before Mamá gets back from work, and the image is so ridiculous he bursts out laughing. Keith was already cracking up a little at his own damn suggestion, and loses it when Lance doubles over. That’s how Mamá finds them, in a smoke-filled kitchen, leaning on each other, struggling to breathe from both their laughter and all the fucking smoke.

“Lance, must you make a mess every time you have a friend over,” she sighs, and Keith and Lance just laugh harder.

“You and Keith are cleaning this kitchen from top to bottom. No exceptions. I don’t care if it’s your birthday, or that Keith’s a guest. He’s here enough that that’s hardly true, anyway. Dios.”

She walks away muttering, and Lance doesn’t even correct her about his and Keith’s friendship status. He finds that he truly doesn’t want to.

To be fair, Keith is about to spend the next couple hours helping him scrub the kitchen after they basically set it on fire. That’s something friends do, he’s sure.

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

okay but the Naruto universe is so fucking weird yet funny if you explain it and question it.

first, you have this lil orphan broke kid ninja boy named after a fishroll. then, you have an emo kid who acts like he got parents and a good way in life despite the fact he’s equally as much of an orphan as Mr. Broke-Blonde-Bitch. THEN you have this normal chick with pink hair who signed up for absolutely none of this nonsense yet got dragged into it. tell me why it’s these three against the world yet none of them can function together? it’s like watching ferrets hyped up on PCP fight over raw spaghetti noodles. dont even get me started when they were in school together, i can bet every person here 6 cents that at some point Sakura aka Ms. Fuckall got tired of Naruto and Sasuke’s bullshit and just tried to abandon them at an animal shelter.

speaking of school and general tomfoolery, why was the dude in charge of these three young squishy brained freaks the most depressed 20 something year old creature on the planet? i will admit, Kakashi is attractive and a great dude. he is so iconic, he misses his old team, and it’s clear he wanted best for his Group of Weird Children but he also reads porn all day and his mask probs smells like cheap aftershave.

if i was a 13 year old ninja child and i saw my sensai (who’s name sounds like cashew) doing all that i’d assume im either about to learn a sick ass skill (how to not cope with emotional trauma properly) or im about to get my ass handed to me. or im about to dropout.

back on track. so you’ve got orphan #1, orphan #2, Ms. Get-Me-Out-Of-Here, and Emotionally Repressed Man in one team. what do the kids do? beef for like 3048384 episodes. what does Kakashi do? try to teach them the power of friendship the entire damn series. oh, and let’s not forget that Naruto apparently has a demon fox inside him because of course he does.

anyways, once the team gets good at teaming they haul off to take their lil ninja exams. who do they meet? some kid named Gaara with smudged eyeliner and shaved brows. he’s a red-head, that’s cute. oh and he can control sand and tries to kill every child in the exams because his dad is a piece of shit hipster. who else do they meet? a kid named Rock Lee who can kick really hard, a girl named Tenten who wishes for all of us to stfu, and poor Neji who can’t keep doing this. there’s also some guy named Guy. yeah, the chunin exams nearly flop because Gaara doesn’t know how to act right.

all this is happening but the pivotal of it all? Sasuke decides to be extra emo and FUCKS OFF TO KILL HIS HALF BLIND SICKLY OLDER TWINK BROTHER.

then, Naruto decides he wants to harness his powers and FUCKS OFF WITH AN OLD ASS BUSHY HAIRED MAN WHO WRITES PORN. Jiraiya needs to be studied on a microscopic spiritual level. he is why SCP’s exist.

who let these kids out? i told you all not to feed the animals and look what happened. now theres beef between a group of kids and the akatsuki.

oh and the akatsuki?? don’t get me started. wtf is that. why is this group of fucked up people with weird powers who are being led by a ginger hive mind of corpses just wandering around? and why is Weasel, aka Itachi, in the middle of it with his goofy explosive hypnotic eyeballs? i want them all put down.

so you’ve got the evil eldirch horrors in the streets. thats fine. Naruto gets put into a new gang cuz Kakashi has to hospitalized. cool, whatever. Naruto decides to start hutning down his rogue boyfriend alongside Sakura, who became a sickass ninja doctor, along with his new sensei Yamato. wonderful… THEN SOME BITCH NAMED SAI SHOWS UP.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

what is that? why is it emo? why is its tongue tattooed? put it back outside bro i stg. i love him so much.

everything is just everywhere in this anime bro I can’t. Sasuke is no where to be seen, Naruto is doing fuckall across the world with his groupie, Kakashi is lowkey sad again cuz his kids are gone, and Sakura can barely breathe without issues occurring.

not just that but the twink brother named Weasel is being stupid and enables his own murder. yeah he basically wants Sasuke to come for his ass. meanwhile, Naruto comes home bigger, better, older but still broke and full of fox demon. still, not a single soul except his friends and teachers like him. shit gets even more wild, it becomes knock-off Cheetah Girls vs. The World.

girl i gotta go before i hurt someone. see yall in part 2.

(all of this is heavily unedited, apologies for mistakes)

[maoam]

Okay I want to talk about this comic here. It’s an old comic, made during or after the Kages arc. For context, the creator is a Hinata stan, Team 8 stan and NH stan. I just want to talk about how these heteronormative stans read the manga wrong.

“Hinata: Note to self, if female, don’t try to be a hero!” Except she’s wrong. Temari saved Shikamaru’s ass in part 1 already. She was also a great leader during the 4th shinobi war. And what about some others? Tsunade broke down Susanoo and healed her teammates while being broken in half, Karin took down a monster kages couldn’t, and Ino took control of the Ten-tails and stopped its attacks and connected the whole shinobi army.

Just because your favorite wasn’t heroic doesn’t mean it’s because she’s a female. It’s because she’s written to be weak and selfish. There was nothing she could have done against Pain, and she was told she would only be in Naruto’s way, but confessing her feelings was more important for her.

“Sakura: Do you realize you just started the pairing war?” It’s like these people were ALMOST aware Kishimoto didn’t give a damn about their het pairings.

“Naruto: Sasuke I wish I knew how to quite you!” Stupid homophobic Brokeback Mountain joke. Which is made even funnier when I tell you after the ending she said SNS weren’t denied anything, Naruto and Sasuke were always portrayed as brothers (again a person who doesn’t know common gay plotlines and storytelling tools) bla bla bla. So Naruto and Sasuke were always portrayed as brothers but something triggered you in Kages arc so much you had to resort into a gay joke to demean Naruto’s pain over Sasuke?

“Sai: You are a bitch for making him suffer” That’s not what he said though, he said they all rely too much on Naruto. Which is true, especially for Sakura who treats him like dirt all the time.

“Sakura: I wonder what Kishi thinks I’m gonna do with a bloody kunai” What you do best Sakura, fail. Because that has been your characterization for the entire manga except for that one fight where you were used as a puppet.

“Sasuke: Why won’t you let me kill something?” I know this person dislikes Sasuke (probably for taking Naruto’s attention from Hinata and not wanting to fuck girls she stans so hard) so I’m not surprised how she omitted all the reason why Sasuke was having a breakdown. You know, the whole genocide of his clan and all. Finding out Konoha used his brother... finding out the discrimination towards the Uchiha. But nah, let’s just make Sasuke look like he is doing it for the lulz.

“Sakura: Kakashi-sensei is so hot” Don’t know what this is all about, Sakura isn’t attracted to him lol.

“Sakura: Just when I thought I would be able to do something awesome. But nooo they need to have their stupid macho time. Being a girl in this manga sucks.” It’s just you and Hinata. You two are useless. Try to be Shino, he’s sidelined all the time. Newsflash, the manga was always about Naruto and Sasuke’s love.

“Sakura: Fuck this shit, I’m gonna be a lesbian” Yes because women become lesbians when they can’t get a man and not because they’re homosexuals.

This is what happens when you read a manga only for a character who is not relevant.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Oh no...I've been thinking up bonding situations/ activities Gai and Kakashi did leading up to the Madara incident.

At the start of day one, Kakashi injures Gai a lot(gotta train him like the world's at stake because...it is. Don'tworry the healing amulet will take care of it) and Gai at some point SLIGHTLY damages Kakashi and is like "want me to kiss it better?" He gets a loooong stare in response and is like "ah no worries than. You probably couldn't afford it. 😁👍"

Kakashi knows its going to be a loooong week. And doubles the training.

It takes three days of non-stop fighting/training and badgering from Kakashi before Gai's composure finally breaks and let Kakashi see his vulnerability, as well as his resolve. Then passes out. Kakashi finally realizes he is dealing with the actual Gai his old bff, and resolves to treat him that way.

Day 4, lot's more training but they also now know Gai's limits even with the amulet and extra god items help. Kakashi is doing a better job explaining how lightning works and how to wield it as a weapon and in the tri-staff form. Gai let's Kakashi know that his storms were an inspiration to him. They get a little closer as they kick each other's ass.

Day 5.) They take a break to cook something. Obito drops by. Bit of a downer but he learns about those two being brothers! So cool~ talks about his own family for a bit. Its....probably not that great. Especially in comparison to his last lifetime. He gets to see Obito put the stars up and sees Kakashi messing with it.... asks if Kakashi can draw something funny up there for him. ("Put a penis up there~" (Obito is not pleased.))

Day 6.) Day of resting. They trained all they could and any more would probably just tire Gai out for the battle tomorrow. Gai gets to cut his hair and shave how he likes, take a bath, talk to Kakashi, do some light flirting mostly for fun... and also reveals one of the ways he fought is based off a dance he himself made. Ends up showing Kakashi and gives him a bit of a show (clothes stay on!) and Kakashi is struck because.... the steps of that dance are the same ones Gai use to dance for him in the past life. Just a bit more sensual.

Day seven. Time to fight a god... asks Kakashi for a good luck kiss maybe and points at his cheek. To which Kakashi responds "you couldn't afford it, honey."

It makes Gai laugh and smile before his major confrontation. And its time to go. And Kakashi... wants to believe in him to now. No matter how things turn out, he will stay by his side and cheer him on.

He doesn't want to see his friend die again.

I really love the idea of them bonding over training, and the little joke about a kiss costing too much 😭😭😭

Kakashi should have taken the kiss. It was litterally his only chance before disaster struck. On the plus side though, they’ll have a lot of time to get to know each other better after.

Also Kakashi hates that he has to be so hard on Gai in training, but it’s a lot to learn. Dude almost took off to another village with the winged shoes Naruto gave him, which could have ended so badly if Kakashi hadn’t caught up to him and pulled him back before he came into contact with any of the villagers.

I love the idea of Gai’s village being sort of mythical. After all those who visit it don’t survive, so how do people know it’s real when they have only met a select few people who claim to have come from there?

All these other villages hear of a great fight between a mortal and a god and just shake their head. They don’t belive there’s a mortal out there stupid enough to fight a god, abd if there is they certainly didn’t win.

It’s bot until generations later when a cure is found and people can begin venturing outside of the village that their stories spread and their history is properly shared, and so many other villages finally learn about the great Mortal Gai who fought a god of creation just to protect his village

[mxtxfanatic]

Alright, finished Yu Wu, so now we have our character breakdowns!

Our Main Cast:

Murong Lian: I am so serious when I say that a sad (not even tragic, just fucking “sucks I guess, dude” sad!) backstory and working with the MCs towards a mutually beneficial goal IS NOT A REDEMPTION ARC.

Yue Chenqing: a lesson in why ignorance is NOT bliss and you should NOT blindly follow whatever your elders say. (Especially if your “respectable elder” is a known rapist with children he don’t even know about under his own roof falling in love with each other 😬). I expected that he’d experience some traumatic bullshit, but holy shit?

Jiang Yexue: I knew there was something off about him, but holy shit????? Hope he rots in hell, but also, he was obviously tainted by that dark cultivation he took in to save his brother’s life, so maybe the real villain who needs to rot in hell is their rapist daddy 💁🏽‍♀️

Murong Chuyi: I knew he liked Yue Chenqing deep down and that something must have happened to make him turn on Jiang Yexue, but holy shit???? Anyways, hope he gets to beat that fool’s AND his rapist daddy’s asses in the afterlife before reincarnating into the most peaceful next life. (On another note, wtf is up with meatbun and jumping into blood pools????)

The emperor: I CALLED IT! A MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE AND A COWARD 🗣🗣🗣 IF YOU TRUSTED HIM AT ANY POINT, DON’T TALK TO ME 🗣🗣🗣

Guoshi of Liao/Hua Po’an: everyone is afraid of this super ultra powerful, seemingly invincible guoshi and ain’t none of y’all stopped to think, “wow, this is suspicious; wonder if that one villain IN ALL OUR STORIES maybe didn’t die, especially since we keep seeing hints that the one who “killed” him and died with him is ALSO not dead!” What foolishness… Anyways, man had plans on plans and still couldn’t predict human kindness, what a tool lmao

Princess Mengze: everyone was playing 3D chess with politics but bitch was on 4D; I was shook 😳

Gu Mang: MY BOY! Wwx if he was written into a trauma porn novel. Stuck. To. His. Convictions!!! Every reveal of his was a whammy on top of a whammy 😭😭😭 Thought he was out here being Naruto-level foolish without the protagonist halo, but he was really out here playing 4D chess on human morality with the best of them! GIVE HIM HIS FLOWERS 💐 💐💐

Mo Xi: love how he loves Gu Mang. Hate how goddamn naive he is. At some points, instead of feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I was just getting secondhand embarrassment. Would obviously NOT survive a political intrigue novel.

Honorable mentions:

Lu Zhanxing: his death fucking suuuuuucked, but he was a real one.

Li Wei: standing up to the emperor’s men to protect your lord, LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

Lan’er (Changfeng-jun’s daughter): they didn’t have to do her like that… (also, is she still alive???? We just kinda drop her and never check back in????)

Madam Jiang/Su Yurou: wish I could be this unbothered in the face of conflict, while having the balls to defy the most terrifying not-quite-human in the known world 😭 glad she survived 💙

Jiang Fuli: fuck, I’m glad HE survived! He deserves it!

Hong Shao: she walked into death bravely and heartbrokenly, and I wish she didn’t have to. I hope she and Li Qingqian reincarnate into a better life where they grow to be the old man and hag together, like she dreamed…

Li Qingqian: the way he found out that in attempting to save Hong Shao, he had actually killed his love AND that her murderer “was” the man who saved him? I’m glad Su Yurou got to tell him the truth, and I hope he was able to reunite with Hong Shao in the afterlife

[sleepysnk]

RULES + GUIDELINES !

- hello! welcome to my blog :), below are some rules and other things you should know before proceeding. i also suggest reading these before sending in requests as well.

- this is a character x reader blog. i do not write for ships, so please do not ask for them.

- dni if you are racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, islamophobic, xenophobic, pro life, etc. my blog is a safe space. if you exhibit any kind of those behaviors above, you will be blocked.

- anon hate is not welcome here. i’m not afraid to block you or snap back at you myself. it’s not tolerated and i will not hesitate to turn off anonymous asks and block you. don’t be a pussy and speak your mind, seriously.

- do not dm me unless we are mutuals/participating in an event. i’ve had this problem consistently in the past and it’s something i prefer not to happen. unless you have proper permission from me, please refrain from sending me dms. it makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.

- do not spam like. if you’re going to like 10+ posts within like a minute, i will possibly block you. this could get me shadowbanned and i do not want to risk that.

- do not ask me to be mutuals.

- while i don’t have an age dni, i ask that if you are under 16 that you do not send me any asks that are nsfw. it’s for my own comfort, but you are more than open to sending sfw asks/thoughts no matter how old you are!

- do not copy or steal my work. it is okay to have inspiration, but clearly taking my work without credit is strictly prohibited. i will not hesitate to report you and your posts if you are doing such things. be creative and make your own things.

- i have a life outside of this blog. please be patient with me! sometimes i don’t always write, so i ask that you respect that.

REQUESTING RULES !

- requests will only be accepted when the box is open. i will not accept any once the box has closed, so please understand that your request may be deleted if it’s sent past the deadline.

- i have every right to deny a request that i don’t see fit. if the request is vague, i will deny it. i’d rather work with something that is good and won’t come out half assed. please respect that and be creative when sending in requests! i want to make sure you’re all happy with what you received, so details are important to me.

- please do not send the same request you’ve sent to another blog. this makes it seem like i’m copying other writers and it puts me in an awkward position. i don’t want to seem like i’m taking from others, so please send in something that’s original. it can make me feel like shit when i see people writing requests i’ve already done. please don’t do this guys!!

- i do not write for male readers. i will only write for female or gender neutral readers.

- the fandoms i currently write for are naruto and tokyo revengers. i’m not caught up on the manga, so please refrain from sending in spoilers from tokyorev!! i’d appreciate it a lot.

- i write scenarios, imagines, headcanons, one-shots, etc. please specify what you would like when you request!

- for headcanons, i ask that you only send in four characters at max. i will not write for more than four characters!

- i take suggestions sometimes, so if there is an idea you have, i may write it. i am also open to thoughts/thirsts you may have. do not be afraid to send in anything that you have a thought about! sometimes i will write a little drabble with your thought!

- i do not write for specific readers. this is because i do not want to offend certain communities, so please refrain from sending in requests for specific readers. this includes trans reader, male reader, etc.

WHAT I AM OKAY WITH !

- below are things i’m okay with writing! this also includes kinks and other things.

- smut or suggestive content which will always be tagged using the fandoms smut tag. if uncomfortable, please block that tag!

- modern au’s or any sort of au’s. ex: zombie au, soulmate au, etc.

- angst

- fluff

- breeding kink

- unprotected sex

- dacryphilia

- corruption kink

- spanking

- hair pulling

- edging

- overstimulation

- spitting kink

- begging

- choking

- i mainly write for sub!reader because i have a hard time writing dom!reader, but i am trying my best to explore that. for now, i only write for submissive reader.

- rough sex

- daddy kink

- finger sucking

- thigh riding

- light bdsm

WHAT I AM NOT OKAY WITH !

- below are things i am not open to writing. this includes certain kinks and other things.

- i will not write any request that is racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, islamophobic, xenophobic, etc. you will be blocked immediately if any are sent.

- pedophilia

- any large age gaps, anything that is 5+ years is a no for me.

- incest or stepcest

- any sort of heavy drug use such as cocaine or meth.

- toxic relationships (depends)

- abuse or abusive relationships

- suicide

- self harm

- ddlg or where reader acts like a little girl/boy.

- non-con/dub-con

- cnc

- threesomes or gang bangs

- blood play

- any sort of piss kinks

- scat

- blood play

- intense bdsm or pain inflicting kinks that are just too extreme.

- lactation kink

- diaper fetishes

- yandere (this was requested a lot, so please don’t send this. it’s not my cup of tea).

- pet play

- a/b/o dynamics

- any request where reader is half animal.

- necrophilia (cannot believe i have to state this).

- any romanticization of mental illnesses.

- if any are requested, the request will be deleted.

Last Updated: May 23rd, 2023

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

E*elstans get a life challenge.

Yeah. :/ No idea how people can spend so much time enjoying getting involved with things that have nothing to do with them and being so hateful toward other people. Even if I can understand being angry about people tagging hate in pro tags, it's another thing entirely when they seek out totally unrelated content and make it about something it's not. My post wasn't even tagged which means that person just searched out keywords that the non-tagging system will pick up (and also replied with nothing to do with the post and made up a scenario about the point of the post, then tried to attack me for uwu hating their ship uwu, except I don’t hate that ship so welcome to talking out of your ass about a person you literally don’t know a thing about).

Like, honestly people, get a job or something because you evidently have too much time and spare energy. e.e

I'm baffled we even have people like that in the world. I shouldn't be surprised after I've been part of the Naruto and AoT fandoms in my time on Tumblr, but ngl I'd actually genuinely tell you I think the stans in the Houses fandom are actually worse than both of those fandoms' problems combined. The stans here have been some of the worst people I've seen in my entire life.

I can't even say "maybe they're mostly teenagers" because even as a teenager basically all the people around me knew better. Bullying pretty much stopped when I was in high school. You know how kids bully other kids in grade and middle school if you have those types of schools in your area (1-5 or 1-6 is grade school in my area, and 6-8 or 7-8 is middle)? Like, when I was in high school nobody did that shit anymore. Nobody cared anyone. Either my high school was relatively tame or people in that age group just don't care anymore, but I've been to two high schools and nobody did the shit these people do (and the youngest of them probably don't want to embarrass themselves in front of 17-18 year olds tbh).

Even then though I can't fathom how people can be so malicious, and over such stupid shit. These people aim to get random people they've never met off social media through bullying and by totally destroying them. I mean really, what the fuck. No idea how can anyone grow into being such a disgusting person. :/

Really sucks because I love Houses but it's infamous now because of those exact people.

[lotusfartstwice]

Not gonna reply to the post cuz I’m really not all that interested in the conversation. I’m just gonna rant a moment.

I am not that big of a fan of bringing up Lee beating Sasuke up like it’s a serious thing. It’s not really a “gotcha” for me lol. I kind of “scold”Lee for it.

Don’t get me wrong, it is super funny to look back on and you add the fact that Itachi and Madara looked at Gai like he’s a threat (and he is). We get the funny meme about “Uchihas don’t mess with the bowlcuts”. Haha.

But outside that…Lee came out of nowhere and was willing to kill Sasuke for his own clout, as stupid 13 year olds do with a major ass chip on their shoulder. He’s been training longer. He’s older. Sasuke rubbed him the wrong way and was also just existing being the last Uchiha so- the stupid kid with a complex did a stupid thing.

It’s hilarious but also sad.

If you weren’t all that hyped in Sasuke there is just something satisfying about an arrogant but goofy looking dork deliver in what he was boasting. Potential murder stopped then backtrack and say “well, actually I am not the strongest lol”.

Rock Lee peaked at the chunin exams. He doesn’t really become a relevant character after that. I tell people that he probably should have just died cuz he has nothing to bring, doesn’t really add on to anyone’s story either. He’s not a major player in Sakura or Neji’s story. He is stagnant and a bit static. The absolute comic relief that gets the occasional cool moment that gets upstaged by other more important people.

The Last is apparently the only considered canon Naruto movie. Well, Lee got to lead a squad of other gate users to destroy meteors. He gets a cool moment only for Sasuke to arrive and- well, you can’t have the only considered canon Naruto movie without Sasuke. Of course he stops the really big meteor that Lee couldn’t.

Like, I’m trying to just be happy that my fave can boast about punching a meteor, which in the grand scale of things in Naruto land, is near minuscule but hey! Wow he did a thing and it wasn’t “hilarious” comedy shenanigans. 🤡

He never beats his rivals. He never overcomes his master. He doesn’t have any new techniques that are his own. He, I guess, does achieve his dream. He certainly is a splendid ninja who only uses taijutsu.

Do I sound bitter? Maybe I am. I mean- it’s my fault, right? Lol my favorite character is the dude that got a goofy ass spin off series. My favorite character worked so hard. And his achievements are all: he kicked Sasuke’s chin in one time and he smacked Gaara around, oh and he survived surgery and teehee he can do drunken fist.

He is a stepping stone (haha funny joke the rock is a stone is a-) for Sasuke. And wow!!! Why wouldn’t that be frustrating???

We see this guy who barely trained a month whale on Gaara (the guy that crippled the fave) with the help of move he swiped via magic memory eyes. A move that probably took Lee a long time to hone. And I’m pretty sure (I might be wrong) he never uses those techniques again in shippuden so- that’s…that’s cool.

But sure. Rock Lee fans are bitter cuz literally the only moments their fave is relevant gets brought up a lot but hey boohoo, right? Not like Sasuke can do all this powerful shit and has a place in the bigger picture of a narrative…oh wait.

Must be nice. Not to mention the merch and everything else. But hey. I’m just bitter ass fan of a joke ass character.

[teamrocketmemes]

[ LUXIEM 1ST ANNIVERSARY ] PART 1

In honor of Luxiem’s first anniversary, this is a sentence starter from this Vox Akuma VOD where they reminisce about old phrases they all have said in a game format. I’m taking both the phrases discussed specifically as well as other funny quips said during the stream. Content warning for mild language. Feel free to change pronouns if necessary.

“I’m a really smart guy and I definitely thought about this really hard before we started.”

“Are we introducing ourselves??”

“Sussy among us…”

“I’m the detective guy, but there’s someone cooler next to me.”

“[Name] is eating spicy noodles by choice now.”

“I was having the cravings and I—I just went for it.”

“There’s no such word as can’t.”

“Burrito?? Is that a Naruto character??”

“You swear to everything holy that these are not fabricated??”

“Why does it look like you etched his name in blood??”

“I was right on his ass shoving that thing in.”

“Every single [name] quote has the word POG in it.”

“UnPOG.”

“I felt a strange vibration in my wenis.”

“Google it. The Flagina is real.”

“I got to Urban Dictionary and I don’t think I wanna read this out.”

“I have a meme for this. Hold on.”

“My phone is on 5% but that’s enough.”

“Staff, for legal reasons, that’s a joke.”

“Guys… How do I delete my canvas??”

“[Name] has created a horror so real that it won’t leave.”

“If I keep on guessing, one of them has to be [Name].”

“Let’s have a look at what—” Burps really loudly.

“You want to fight me in Tetris after seeing my brain??”

“They do call me the master baiter.”

“No!! I like his hat!!”

“I feel like it’s me but when the fuck was this??”

“When I read it, I can hear [Name]’s voice.”

“Here’s [full name], he says LOL.”

“This is a historic quote.”

“They didn’t say laugh out loud, they said LOL.”

“If someone ends with a full stop, I feel very threatened.”

“The grammar police in my head is just like ‘You gotta do it [name]’.”

“We had to just decipher something that was written in binary but we didn’t realize that it was binary–”

“I was straight up incapacitated for a while…”

“Oh! the double penetratio–”

“I will be putting some of you on blast today.”

“This is me but I stopped earlier, in my defense…”

“No matter what you say, it will always return to bite you in the ass.”

“My favourite position? I like beieng on my computer playing League of Legends.”

“You’re absolutely right. League absolutely plays [name].”

“Are you a mistletoe? Because I want to be under you.”

“BRUH.”

“What’s something funny… Does anyone remember the movie Sky High??”

“All I know that it’s like— My Hero Academia several years before it came out.”

“If they’re asking for a kick in, they should get a kicking.”

“Waitwaitwait— I’m drawing a funny.”

“What an unit indeed.”

“Meow, bottom.”

“Only real ones remember.”

“Ooooh the memorie– Wait, no.”

“Mine is the default Windows wallpaper.”

“You guys know the incident I’m talking about. Don’t try to play dumb.”

“That might be the most awesome thing that’s ever gonna happen on this stream.”

“I’ve never had more raw panic into my body than when it kept going after the car.”

“You exposed yourself on this one.”

“Liar has 5 letters.”

“Why is [name]’s number all the way to the right??”

“I feel like a worm on a piece of concrete.”

“See, the first question you ask is would you say this to yourself??”

“I have this really bad habit of having these really overly specific analogies that I never remember but everyone else does.”

“Did [Full name] say this??”

“[Name] really is the kid who reminds the teacher that they had homework.”

“Who really needs restraints such as handcuffs?? There’s a perfect space between the tip of my show and the heel where your wrists fit just right.”

“I can’t guess because I don’t know what this means.”

“That’s such a mid S.”

“I’m drawing with a mouse. It’s good enough.”

“Unless you did not know, I don’t wear heels.”

“[Name] is depicting a fucking cave drawing.”

“Number 12 is, I guess, cock.”

“All of my quotes are sexual.”

“I’m sorry for putting you on blast.”

“It’s not that there’s something in the sentence that blatantly gives away who it is.”

“Does he know?? He doesn’t know.”

“Like, dude, you don’t understand, it’s rectangles man.”

“Most likely to become a Bro…”

[tariah23]

I wanna know why you're still reading JJK not because it's bad but bc I love seeing you rant about things you love

NATEjajajaaj tbh, I complain about everything I like and everything that I’ve said thus far about JJK, I still feel strongly about because I KNOW that it used to be written way better before but despite all of that, I can honestly say that I still enjoy it a ton. It’s so fun!? I can’t look away?!? I haven’t felt this way about a manga, especially a shounen of all things, in… I really don’t know (I kind of don’t like to count csm since it’s still a seinen to me…). Jjk is joining the ranks of my love for Naruto 🙈……. As absurd as that might sound, it makes me feel nostalgic despite not being that old!!!

It definitely deserves all of its praise as well and I’m not just saying this just because I’m a fan. If it didn’t, I’d definitely say otherwise. I’m glad that everyone is fucking with it! It just made the  Guinness world book of records the other day, I kind of want to throw up 😭. Knowing how Gege’s been writing the story lately, he probably doesn’t give a shit. He just wants to finish JJK as soon as possible so that he could get back to doing fuck all. Well… good for him. But, I’m genuinely glad that I got into it! The fans are annoying but that’s to be expected from a mainstream shounen unfortunately. It’s so nice ignoring them though. That’s the only way you’ll be able to enjoy something as big of a series like this tbh.

All of the characters that I’ve liked or loved never got to the point where they were written horribly like, I can say that Gege has remained pretty consistent in the characterization department, which is a plus, since whenever I get into stuff, I tend to pay a lot of attention to things like this especially. Yuuji is still Yuuji, Sukuna is still that petty old bitch, Gojo remained as silly and courageous till the very end (even tho I still wished that Gege could’ve focused more on Gojo’s trauma… it would’ve been nice to see him overcome the burden of being the apex of the jujutsu society… he was so much more than an idol and he still died believing that that was all that he was. Someone who was so far removed from humanity that he continued to tell himself that this would be all that he ever was and that even if his friends and peers truly did love and respected him, they’ll never learn to “understand,” him because he’s so much more powerful than they were. Their lives would never be the same. And he could never make any of them truly happy in the end. I really HATED THAT Gege let that man go to that DAMN airport still holding onto to his loneliness like this 😭😭😭… and then when you think back to that one scene in the story where various other characters were asked about their feelings towards Gojo, and all most of them had to say was that “he’s the strongest,” I just… :(… Obviously, he’s well respected despite his personality but 😭… Gege, you will burn for this-

I do enjoy how ridiculous JJK can get as well. People can talk badly about it all they want but you can’t say that it’s predictable lmfao. This looney toons ass plot 😭!!! I’m kind of here for the shenanigans. It’s been pretty repetitive as of lately though. Mainly the whole Sukuna vs everyone thing that’s been going on starting from Kashimo (his dumbass) right after Gojo’s death… but it’s okay. Outside of my favs being slaughtered left and right 👎🏾☠️. You can tell that Gege is just rushing through the story now though :/. I kind of can’t wait for it to end but I’m still enjoying the ride until the wheels fall off! I want Yuuji and the rest of the gang to be able to enjoy the rest of their lives, man… Gege wrote JJK with a chip on his shoulder 😭.

[chuluoyi]

Pity 60?! ALMOST THERE! You can do it! 🥳 2 ?! Goodness how even 😭😭 The lowest I got was 6... Not any better but 2 is so close to being flat broke...

Yeahhh her dad is such an ass Maxi is the sweetest! And she's got a super hot husband now so I guess she DID benefit from being married off 😚 Oh I've read that too! Edna is such a girlboss I love her! It's different from the normal damsel in distress kind of Female lead, and it's really refreshing. What else have you read?

I hope so! But I'm still 18 and I wanna enjoy being single hahaha! I've seen my friends cry and weep over guys and I feel like I want to stay unburdened by the weight of a relationship till I'm like 19-20-ish? Thanks Chu! haha it's getting super rainy where I'm from... It's so cold istg...

Ahaha! I'm not THAT young. But I do agree that my watchlist is soul-sucking dhdhdh. Though, there's something about sad animes, don't you think?

HAHAHA you're young too! And you finished Naruto during your summer break?! Omg just how much did you watch per day you're amazing.

Right?! We deserve to know, Gege! Have mercy please was killing off our 3 JJK daddies not enough-

Hmm I honestly preferred the old art, even if the animation wasn't on par with Mappa's. I did pick it up after awhile, but Instagram spoiled me so I lost motivation after 2-3 episodes of season 4... I should really delete all social media accounts before watching a new anime...

Oh no is he okay HAHAHA was the ending that sad I'm slightly tempted to binge the rest of AOT after my exams are over hmm... How could he?!?! Gojo dying is one of the few anime deaths that shook the world 😭😭Or is he just jealous 🤭

Omg a fellow monkey! Sugu's monkey cult is expanding- Ngl I would gladly be a monkey if it means I can get slightly closer to Suguru-

Also I've received your TOT req!! The bakerlon card is legit so cute ahhh 😫😫

-🪩

i… gave up🥲 seems like there’s no hope for me 😩 i’ll wait until next year then and save the s chips i get from the monthly pass for the upcoming events🤧

HAHAHAH the benefit is right there!!🤭 i love maxi’s progress though and YES I LOVE EDNA SO MUCH omg she’s so badass, takes care of her own shits and the plot twist is soooo omg i finished that manhwa on one night and was left sooo full😩 it was one of the best manhwas for me

hmm i think i’ve read quite many arranged marriage stories but suddenly i can’t think of any of them🥲 but another great manhwa i read is unholy blood! i love hayan sm she’s also badass and her romance with euntae drives me almost insane bcs of the slow burn🤧 but it’s so so great by the ending i was sad to let it go. have you read it?? and do you have any other recs?

so true! i honestly don’t think there’s any benefit for us to force ourselves to have a boyfriend/girlfriend that early (especially if they say it’s for the status—a classmate of mine once told me that she was dating this guy just to know how being in a relationship was like💀 she’s messed up) because in the end, we are looking for the real thing. the real thing doesn’t come easily, it takes time. fyi my current boyfriend is my first bf, we started dating just last year, which means i have my first bf at 23🥹 and i’m so glad i heed my mom then, that it’s no use to have boyfriends when you were still in high school or college as chances are they are still immature themselves.

but if you do find someone who is good in school, then it’s okay to try! just don’t be discouraged if you don’t because nah we need the true ones😉

(aw sorry to come off as lecturing i can’t stop myself but my mom’s advice is what saves me🥹 and i really do think it’s so good)

me too!! it’s rainy and cold nowadays *sigh* but at least it’s not as hot?🥹

THERES 🗣️ SOMETHING 🗣️ ABOUT 🗣️ ANGST 🗣️ that made me feel like i want to jump out of the window yet satisfied my inner soul at the same time🤧🤧🤧

HAHAHA i felt old bcs now i’m paying for my own bills and impulse buying😭 JSJSJS nono i watched naruto from eps 300 onwards actually🥹 still, that’s quite a lot 😭 but yeah, i could watch at least 5-10 eps per day back then 🥲

PFFT DADDIES so true 😔😔 *sigh* my life has never been the same ever since that gojo sukuna fight. i started looking for spoilers (i didn’t follow the manga before), installed twitter and reading theories. my heart used to be thumping so hard each time i went over the spoilers you know? like i know gojo was going to lose somehow but i hope so much he didn’t and then when chapter 235 dropped and gege took a break i was like “!!!!” only to 236 to reverse it in the most brutal way💀

ahh i see… i’m starting to think that aot is for boys😭 like most of my guy friends are like “this is the best anime of my life” while my girl friends are just bamboozled with everything🥹

he’s mourning and coping the way we do for our jjk daddies🤭🤭 save to say that karma gets him bcs he doesn’t follow the manga HAHAHA maybe both i don’t know but he gets 🙄🙄 when i swoon over gojo ahahhaha

oh? good luck on your exam disco anon!! i know you’ll do well!!🫶🏻

HAHAHAHAH OMG that’s the term he used too!!🤣 like he’s okay being suguru’s monkey just because🥹

waah! that’s good then!! the card is so CHIC but i haven’t gotten the chance to read it yet along with the side story card🥲🥲🥲 i will after this weekend i think bcs work has been so tiring *sigh*

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

part 2 of this

anyways, that’s that. things are fine, people are talked down of their motives, life is going back to normal. THEN OBITO SHOWS UP and it’s nothing but emotional turmoil between Kakashi and that orange masked moron. don’t even get me started on why Obito is doing all this evil stuff in the first place.

wtf do you mean Orbit, that thirty year old, buff, scarred, dopey, traumatized, texas two-steppin man is trying to ruin the world because his crush got gut punched to death when they were both FOURTEEN?

like babe, there’s more important things to worry about besides Rin and killing Kakashi. how are you gonna get crushed by a rock as a teen and instead of staying dead like a normal person you get revived, patched up with tar by your shady uncle, and go on a vengeful rampage for like 15 years. don’t piss me off.

so now it’s Orbit vs. Cashew which is more of a mass emotional hysteria between those two frenemies if anything. then, it’s Fishroll, Pink Doctor, Sigh, Yams, and the entire village vs. The Bad Girls Club.

when Naruto fights these troglodytes you’d think it would be a typical battle of one wins one loses but OF COURSE ITS NOT ITS NEVER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCE.

Naruto, the same kid who can control some of the most powerful ninjutsu, the dude who is besties with the fox demon in his mind, the orphan who had every right to become the villain, wins his fights not with bloodshed but by TALKING? no, don’t look at me. for practical reasons, i do not exist as this moment.

Naruto and company are all out there kicking ass and winning because why wouldn’t they. wanna know who’s not winning? Weasel because Sasuke found him and merked his blind self. yeah, Itachi let Sasuke kill him. wtf, who wrote that in? someone explain family therapy to these two before i call the police.

so when the Bad Girls Club are no longer a club aka hella hella dead or gone and that weird emotional thunderclap between Kakashi and Obito is done you’d think that’s a wrap. you’d think that’s it because everyone got what they wanted. well you’re wrong, sorry love.

because Naruto is STILL SNIFFING OUT SASUKE LIKE A BLOODHOUND WHOS ON THE PROWL.

i wanna point out that throughout the entire series Sasuke has made it clear he doesn’t want friends and Naruto basically said “well we’re married so to bad” and cuz of this whenever he did run into Sasuke it was always a fight. the constant back and forth between these two of betting on losing dogs, yin and yang, self-destruction, self-realization, and strength gain leads you to think Naruto will kill Sasuke because he couldn’t save Sasuke from himself.

that doesn’t happen, of course it doesn’t. that’s normal circumstance and we don’t do that here. have you been listening? don’t get me started fam I’ll punch walls.

Sasuke, the same dude who’s been against any form of emotional connection since day zero, suddenly faces the guy who’s been standing up for him despite all the destruction and death. what’s Sasuke do? admits he’s always lowkey cared for Naruto and the others. im leaving the function, i slipped on my own tears on the way out.

my Jonas brother in Christ, what? Sasuke, babe, get out of my house and be so serious.

i may not have a lot of muscle but i have unbridled female rage, a lot of questions, and a broken flat iron to help me find the god damn answers.

so yeah, he says “teehee oops”, helps rid of the remaining baddies, him and Naruto get matching missing limbs, and all is mostly forgiven.

what do you have left at the end of all this bullshit? traumatized kids who grow up, become something, get married, some have kids, and we never actually got the boyfriends we deserve. Sasuke is still trying to be Jesus of Suburbia, Naruto has a son who’s name sounds like Burrito.

i can not make this shit up, this series goes every direction yet also stays in a circle. if I showed any of the episodes to a victorian child or a modern day old person their heads would explode and it’d feel like chernobyl all over again.

what lessons did we learn by the end of the anime. one, don’t try to destroy the world when your crush dies in your teens. two, mind your business. three, seek family therapy before attempting murder. four, being gay is great and helping the homies is greater. and five, don’t get me started.

yall ever love an anime and/or show so much it becomes irritating? cuz i do.

anyways, it’s a great anime. good animation, relatable characters, amazing development of the world and people in it. i recommend it to everyone and yes it’s weird but we will ignore that. if you want weirder, watch One Piece.

thank you for coming to my yap session.

(again, unedited. sorry for mistakes, i might fix them later)

[youngerfrankenstein]

Who wants to hear the thoughts of a whole-ass adult (apparently) on a show made for nine year olds?

So. Transformers Animated. Mixed feelings but I think I liked it more than was annoyed?

I’ve said before it reminded me a lot of the Teen Titans cartoon and I do generally stand by that. But part of that similarity is that like 60% of the attempts at humour just make my eyes roll. And yeah, a lot of that is that the show is aimed at kids, actually I have a few complaints like that, which is very silly of me, but also I think kids deserve better jokes.

Also not helping is my inability to care about what happens to half the characters. This version of Bumblebee and Bulkhead could be melted down and nothing of value would be lost. Sari has “kid in a kid’s series” syndrome (yes it’s awful your friends don’t want to take a child into battle) which means she annoys me as an adult but probably wouldn’t as a kid, or at least as much. Again, trying to keep things in perspective. And at least she does have some interesting lore stuff, the implication seems to be she’s the daughter of a human and the Allspark itself… which I think makes her robojesus? Prowl is decent but the cheap “ninja mysticism” stuff does get on my nerves. I do not want to watch Naruto. Ratchet is lucky because “grumpy old doctor” is catnip to me, and this version of Optimus was decent enough.

On the villain’s side, Blackarachnia seems to be an attempt to shovel as many awful female villain cliché’s into one character, though I do really like her voice. Worse in that they just shunt Elita-1 into that position so she can’t be used. (Honestly this show is pretty darn bad about its female characters) Lugnut is occasionally funny, Blitzwing more frequently, though why we have an Arnold Schwarzebot face I do not know. Starscream is a highlight of the whole damn show and I honestly really like this Megatron, even if he sometimes suffers from “as intelligent as the plot needs him to be”-itis. Also needs more Soundwave.

Also not helping is the fact that a) I really don’t vibe with the animation style and b) sometimes the animation is just… not good.

Though after all of that I can say that the show definitely had its high points and some really good episodes. And I really wish the team had been allowed to continue with whatever they had planned, because it sounds like they got canned pretty late into production for season 4, and I would have liked to see them continue, and possibly improve. There are also things I’m curious about, like whether Prowl’s death would have stuck. It was likely in part to make room for Jazz and/or Arcee (who finally got woken up from her coma in the last episode *grumble grumble*) to become larger characters but you never know.

Anyway, thinking I’ll watch something else before jumping into Prime. Might FINALLY watch The Big O. Also! I have now more or less got the single and double crochet stitches down. Yay!

[the-stoned-ranger]

Real Ultimate Power

Welcome to Real Ultimate Power! This site is about ninjas, REAL NINJAS. This site is awesome. Hi my name is Rock Lee and I can’t stop thinking about ninjas.

My dad is a ninja. His dad was a ninja. Now my dad is passing his ninja way to me. This site is about the nindo of youth! You too can harness the springtime of your youth to become a powerful ninja if you follow our ninja way! 

Ninja Facts:

Ninjas are mammals.

Ninjas go on missions ALL the time 

The purpose of a ninja is to defend the village with their nindo.

Ninja Weapons and Gear:

Ninja sword

Ninja stars

Kunai

Weapons are cool and all, but my dad and I like to fight with our BARE HANDS. This makes us cooler than the guys who use weapons, but don’t tell Tenten. The last time I did, she summoned nunchucks and broke my arm.

The 8 Gates:

The 8 Gates are the ancient art of killing yourself to defend the village. You can open the first 7 Gates without dying, but you can only open the 8th Gate if you are ready to die for your precious people! Ninjas use all sorts of things to kill themselves--swords, poison, ropes, Seppuku--but the 8 Gates burn with a youthful fire to take down all your enemies!

The only catch is that In order to open the Hidden Gates, you have to get REALLY SUPER PISSED.

My dad won’t let me open the 8th gate, because the 8th Gate is the Gate of Death, and he says I’m too youthful to die. When he told me that, I got so mad I swallowed a frisbee. Then my dad cried so hard he had to go to the hospital for dehydration and I won the fight. I think it reminded him about the time that his dad opened the 8th Gate to defend the village from the 7 Swordsmen of the Mist and died, but I still won, and now every time I need to open the 8th Gate without dying, I just fold a Frisbee in half and swallow it while my enemies cower in fear! Believe me, it’s pretty cool.

Dad used this technique to fight Madara Uchiha to open the 8th Gate. He got really super pissed because Madara was trying to put all the nations into an infinite dreamworld, and my dad used all the youthful power of his chakra to swallow a Frisbee and Madara was so scared he crapped his pants!

How to open the 8 Gates

Step 1    Get a frisbee from Tenten.

Step 2    Clean the Frisbee.

Step 3    Make sure your dad isn’t around

Step 4    Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.

Step 5    Get really super pissed.

Step 6    Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)

Step 7    Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.

Step 8    Push hard until you can’t see it.

Step 9    Wait.

Step 10  Become engulfed by the flames of youth

Step 11  Flip out and kill people 

Step 12  Die.

Ninja Sightings

This is Kakashi-sensei! He teaches Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. No one has ever seen his face. He is such a hip and cool ninja that he will flip out and kill you if you do. 

This is my ninja team! My dad and I are posing with our beloved teammates, Neji and Tenten! Neji has the Byakugan and has mastered the art of chakra manipulation! When he gets super pissed off, he can stop your chakra! Tenten can summon ninja tools from scrolls and then she flips out and hurts people! I am so proud of my team! They are truly incredible and I love them with all of the power of my youth!

Lady Tsunade is the 5th Hokage, the ruler of the Fire Country! She likes gambling and drinking and kicking ass even if she is old! Grandma Tsunade will flip out and punch a hole in your stomach with her bare hand. She is master of the Rebirth Technique Strength of a Hundred and if you try to hurt her she will just heal herself! I am proud to serve such a noble lady as a humble ninja from Konoha!

[inspired by the early Internet website Real Ultimate Power]

[neptunesfullbuster]

Hey I saw that your requests were open and recently just got back on the Fairy Tail band wagon and I was wondering if you could do a Natsu Dragneel x fem!reader where the reader is part of the magic council but she has a major crush on Natsu and her personality is kind of like Hinata from Naruto or Ganyu from Genshin Impact and she often covers for the fairy tail guild when they get into trouble so when she’s sent to the Fairy Tail guild she runs into Natsu and Happy in town and she’s really kind to them and Natsu falls for her. When she get to the guild to meet Master Makarov in the name of the magic council Natsu tries to get her attention and impress her. Thank you muchly I really appreciate it! I think your writing are fantastic and shame on the anon haters who just want to start a fight. Cheers for you from this anon who loves you!

THE IDIOT AND THE COUNCIL WOMAN

reader. fem!reader, she/her pronouns used.

authors note. HELLO LOVELY ANON I LOVE YOU AJDKAKS IM SO SORRY THIS IS HEAVILY OVERDUE BUT THIS WAS SO CUTE AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Gray pondered, turning to the dragon slayer. 

“What?” Natsu asked, his mouth stuffed with food. 

“That council woman chick, Y/n. She looks at you a lot.” Natsu’s eyes darted towards you sitting by the bar where you had already been looking at him but averted your gaze quickly once the two of you made eye contact. 

“She looks terrified of you, man. The fuck did you do?” Lucy smacked the back of the ice wizard's head before sliding into the booth next to him, “from what I understand, I think she has a crush on him.”

“Are you sure it’s Natsu?” Gray asked in disbelief, “I highly doubt a council woman has a crush on this dumbass.” 

“Hey, you wanna fight!?” Natsu shouted, mouth still stuffed with meat, “I’ll take you down, princess lets go!” 

“No, no, no! We’re still recovering from the last one!” Lucy tried pushing back the two wizards into their seats, but sadly, she wasn’t strong enough.

“Fire brain.”

“Icicle dick.”

“What did you just call me?” 

“What ya deaf? You heard me!”

“We have a member of the council sitting right there, you idiots, calm yourselves!” Lucy shouted but was ignored as a giant fight broke out. 

“Oh no.” Makarov sighed, “I’m so sorry about all of them.” 

You let out a chuckle, “It’s alright.” Turning in your chair, you collected your things. 

“Leaving already, are you?” Makarov asked. “You’ll be back tomorrow, I assume? Well- knowing these idiots later today?” 

“Oh…ah, yes.” You smiled at the old man before turning on your heels and leaving the guild. 

“Ay, watch out!” Almost out the large doors, you sensed something coming towards you. What you didn’t expect was a pink-headed dragon slayer flying in your direction. Natsu fell on you with a loud thud, pinning you to the floorboards. 

“NATSU, THAT’S A COUNCIL MEMBER, YOU IDIOT!” Someone shouted as he quickly rolled off. 

“I AM SO SORRY!” He yelled towards you, quickly helping gather your papers and other things. 

You didn’t know how to respond, mostly hoping he didn’t see the frazzled look on your face. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, seeming genuinely concerned. 

“Oh um, y-yeah!” You responded, “Um, that move, you um did beforehand was c-cool.” You mumbled, gaining some courage.  

A large grin painted the pink-haired boy's face, “Really? Thanks! You should stay and watch me kick some ass!” 

Not having the courage to say no, you nodded your head and allowed him to pull you over to a random seat.