#of the Grunch probably

[apothesized-moth]

This image came to me in a Vision (IF YOU SAW THIS BEFORE I EDITED IT, NO YOU DIDN'T.)

(Excited for Grunch Time!!)

[cowardlykrow]

It affects him severely

[scootersscooter]

blah blah blah... something something.... just... Scrags awkwardly trying (and failing) to be a nice decent adult figure in Gwen's kids lives because he knows what it's like to have an actor parent who doesn't actually like/care about you...

[missholloween]

Paul's fate was sealed from the beginning, and I love all the ways The Guy uses to show us.

The first scene of tgwdlm (after the title song) introduces Paul as a character: who he is, where does he work, who does he work with. In this scene, thanks to Paul actions and words, we learn that Paul isn't the nicest of the guys... And that he doesn't have much going on. He rejects Bill's Mamma Mia invitation, but so does Melissa's soft ball team proposal. As the title song said, he's a grunch.

But then, the next scene is Paul going to Beannie's. We discover that Paul wants to talk to Emma, he wants to get to know her better, to make her laugh. We are introduced to his need, to what he desires, even if Paul isn't fully contious of it by this point.

Then plot starts, we've got our inciting incident (the meteor fall) and a couple of plot beats: our heroes meet the villain, Paul valiantly resists it in their first face to face (what do you want, paul?), and the threat grows stronger and stronger until it takes the first victim our protagonist cares about, that is, Charlotte.

Join us (and die) is the moment where our main cast sees everything the hive is capable of: it's been coy so far, just presenting itself as some dancing craze that controls people. But in that song we discover that those people are dead, and that the hive won't doubt to get nasty if it has to. When Hidgens is explaining this after the song, he's interrupted by Alice's call to Bill. Had the hive gotten into her already? Was it just bad luck? Given that we don't see Alice during the call, we cannot be truly certain of that.

It is then when a fight between Bill, panicked about his daughter, and, Ted, consumed by grief, starts. The fight is different from their previous banter with the whole "kick my head" bit, as both of them are now at their limit. Thankfully, Paul stops the fight by giving Bill a meaningful way to save his daughter. In that scene, Paul decides to go with Bill to get Alice, because he wants to help him.

When Paul says "which is why I'm gonna go with you to get your daughter back", a piano starts playing on that scene. It continues quietly as the scene goes on, just to climax with Emma and Paul's last conversation, where the Inevitable leitmotif starts playing. And then, act 1 finishes.

The Guy is not a conventional musical by any means: we don't have a big act 1 finale song, nor a big leap that the characters take. It is a really modest act 1 finale, and some viewers (including myself) might not notice the change of act on their first watch. However, a big change has happened, although it is subtle: Paul has taken his first step in his hero's journey. He is not only showing his desires (to help Bill, a dear friend to him), but also he's acting. He is taking the iniciative, he's being brave! That decision it's just the beginning of his downfall, that will come to an end in "Let it Out", and the shows knows it. The only thing the score does is to make it clearer for the spectator, if they notice it... And they'll probably won't, too enwrapped in the show.

[booigi-boi]

Would love to know your favorite Joey character (also love the way your draw him)

Aw, thank you 🥺🐐🐇💛🤍

But my fav Joey character? Yeah, I guess I can turn this into a mini show and tell, lol 👍

From Starkid: Ted Spankoffski, which is kinda obvious. Is he a terrible person who deserves the title of "Most deaths in the Hatchetfield series"? Absolutely. Is he still my blorbo? Absolutely 👨🐐

This man has no shame and I love seeing him die anytime he appears in a HF story ✨

From Tin Can Bros: Scrags, but mostly because I am unable to rewatch SAF more than once a year, cause it gives me such slaps in my face after act 2 starts that I am emotionally unable to watch it (/pos ofc, I just can't go through sleepless nights over gay spies anymore 🥲)

So sorry Owen lovers, I just like this depressed dog dad more (Especially after the Grunch, go watch it 🐕❄)

From Shipwrecked: Easily Ernest Hemingway, no debating, lol. Funnily it's mostly cause I love his costuming/design, like this brown on brown on brown is really speaking to the artist in me, ugh 🔪🤎🥃

(Also, I own the jacket, and Joey said it's cool I own something he wore and get to make look cool again, but it's so goddamn big on my 5 foot self,,,,,,)

✨Honorable mentions✨

Sergio's design from the SAF Kickstarter, just look at this boy, peak villain Joey design 💣💼

Dash Gunfire, who I've named most of my plushies after and have a crack theory about 🐇🤍🐇🤍 (He and Agent Curt Mega are related. No I won't elaborate, iykyk)

Tripp, the Brom's Babe who is definitely the most dramatic of the three 💞 (Also, I love these three in general??? Let them be gay and do crime and be probably terrible wing men to Brom) (Someone also ask me about all the headcanons I have about them, there's a lot)

Dracula Joey

I JUST LOVE ANYTHING DRACULA RELATED, OK?? ESPECIALLY IF IT'S RELATED TO THE BOOK! IDC IF HE ONLY APPEARED FOR 3 SECONDS, HE'S A REAL CHARACTER TO ME ❤🖤🧛‍♂️🥀

[untildawnss]

sfw/nsfw ( either! ) Ud boys with a grunge/goth reader? 🫶🩷

okay, i've seen some goth! reader, so i'm gonna do (mostly fem) grunge-ish reader, some slight nsfw

i tried my best lmao

chris

kind of intimidated at first because he thinks you look way too cool for him

starts listening to your favourite songs and will buy albums to listen to with you in his car because you know that boy has a CD player in there for the vibes

will try to match your vibe, dyes his hair dark brown or black because he thinks blond looks too soft, hates it and then shaves it all off

will try the style for a few weeks but feels like it doesn't suit him and goes back to his regular style

will get a matching piercing with you, probably an industrial or conch

starts painting his nails because he thinks it's fun

really likes when you leave a lipstick trail on him, anywhere

josh

calls you emo all the time to annoy you

will buy shirts he thinks you'd like "for himself" because he hopes you'll wear them

will probably get tattoos with you and pretends to be in sooo much pain so you'll hold his hand

really loves when you do elaborate make up looks, especially with dark lipstick

gets his tongue pierced because he read somewhere that it feels nice during oral

the outfit stays on during sex, he's a sucker for thigh highs and ripping tights, loves when your make up is smudged after, he thinks its's so hot

matt

thinks it's super fun to be the jock dating an alt girlie, feels like he's in a romcom

(he definitely has older sisters) quality time for him is hanging out with you watching movies or listening to music and he'll be painting your nails, doing your make up or hair and then having you give him marks out of 10

will take you to concerts, even if he isn't super into the music, will insist you sit on his shoulders if you can only barely see the stage

has a lot of fun finding cool new jewellery for you, especially chokers because he's super into them

loves when you wear the chokers he buys you during sex

mike

is definitely into the same music you are into and knows bands you haven't heard of

makes you mixtapes and spotify playlists

has a guitar and sings, sometimes plays your favourite songs for you, might try to write a song for you

is actually the one stealing your clothes sometimes because he thinks it's funny when you complain that he has the same exact shirt in his closet

calls you the grunch if you wear something green

has tattooed himself and will tattoo you if you let him

probably (like josh) also super into you wearing thigh highs and boots in bed

will blast music during sex and try to match the beat sometimes

[ghostface-knight]

probably my favorite thing about the grunch is how when the villain is revealed, nobody, audience or characters, remembers which of brian's characters he is

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

I get that there are reasons people may have funded Cinderella's Castle and not Tinlightenment/why Cinderella's Castle got funded quicker than Tinlightenment, but I do not think you guys saying that understand JUST HOW BIG of a difference this was.

Cinderella's Castle fund goal was $250K, Tinlightenment fund goal was $200K and they raised $220K in total.

Tinlightenment raised their goal amount just before the final day of the kickstarter campaign, their campaign lasted a month. Cinderella's Castle got funded in a little less than 30 hours.

CINDERELLA'S CASTLE RASIED MORE MONEY IN 30 HOURS THAN TINLIGHTENMENT DID AN ENTIRE FUCKING MONTH. I can not understate how insane that is!

I have noticed in the past couple years people seem to only care about Hatchetfield, and it's okay to love Hatchetfield, I absolutely love Hatchetfield, it is my favorite of all StarCanWrecked productions, I became a fan because of Hatchetfield. But I remember during the first year of covid that there was so much love for EVERYTHING starkid, tcb and shipwrecked. But then after that first year it seems people only care for Hatchetfield.

Now I'm really so excited that so many people are excited for Cinderella's Castle, that's great!! I'm glad we are giving love to more stuff. But why are we only giving all our love to Cinderella's Castle? Why couldn't we give more love to the other productions going on? Hardly anyone talks about vhs christmas carols. Nobody talks about how the grunch cribbed Christmas. "but those are holiday things" ok sure but still hardly anyone was talking about grunch when it was actually coming out. Hardly anyone has been talk the case of the Greater Gatsby as that's been coming out and fear bc of its break even less people will talk about when it returns. In the tin can bros fandom it feels like I never see love anything except spies are forever really. The entire pulp musicals fandom seems to be just like 5 people.

I am begging fans who have seen more than just Hatchetfield to give love to more than just Hatchetfield. Please. You have seen how amazing all of this stuff we get to watch is. Go give it some love. Make some posts about it. I have some old fans/fans who have seen more than just Hatchetfield complain about fans who have just seen Hatchetfield and if you really think that then WHERE is your love for other stuff? You don't even have to make art or fanfic, you can just reblog stuff!

I am begging fans that have only seen Hatchetfield to at least TRY to watch something outside of it, you might like a lot of stuff, you just have to start with trying to find something that sounds appealing to you. You like spooky towns? Go check out wayward guide, solve it squad and headless. You just like musicals? Well starkid and tcb have many. Maybe you like short films. Maybe you like a certain franchise starkid has parodied. It is ok if you end up just liking Hatchetfield but I do think you should give other things its a try.

I know I'm probably coming off as rude and I'm sorry. And you don't have to go a show love for or watch anything outside of Hatchetfield if you don't want to. I just wish that people would. And I am frustrated that no one seems to care about 90% of the amazing stuff that has been made.

~~~

[moviesludge]

I can't remember if I ever mentioned this but my mom's crazy eccentric ex-costume-shop boss lady had this funny quirk where she'd get common names of things wrong and just never stop using the wrong terms even if people corrected her. I've come across a few people that do this and they're all massive weirdos (in a fun way). I have never been certain if it's just that person's sense of humor, or if they're trying to see how people respond to it or if they just tune correctors out or what.

But one thing is that that lady calls the Grinch the GRUNCH and I think about it every xmas and probably will forever

[spyruce]

I’ve been on a binge all yesterday and today. Just watched Solve It Squad, How the Grunch Cribbed Christmas, Holy Musical B@man! and Me and My Dick all for the first time. And I’m dropping my short reviews:

SIS/HTGCC are definitely worth the watch, tons of fun. I feel the need to put Scrags in a jar and shake him around a little bit. Depressed sad little man. (The way my jaw dropped when he explained how Cluebert was a replacement for his absent father HELLO 😭) Esther is great, their whole fucking with Christmas song was great. I thought the drug thing would get old but they find so many ways to keep it interesting. Keith is silly as fuck you go king I hope you get laid one day but please move on from Gwen girlie🙏 And uhh I don’t remember a thing about Gwen whoopsies. I’m working my way through the livestream episodes right now, I adore how cartoony it all is.

HMB! I probably have to rewatch I was multitasking. But whatever tf Batman and Superman had going on was great. Loved the way Batman and Robin were more of a brothers dynamic than father-son. I am once again amazed by how Joe feels so different in every role. Jeff fucking killed it he was made to be a joker-type beat mf. (tbf I tend to like Jeff a lot I think he’s great). But yeah this was fun. Will probably watch again eventually.

I cannot tell you wtf happened in MAMD but uh????? I am… once again amazed by how Joe feels so different in every role. The whole show was weirdly charming? I was expecting to enjoy the more crass humor since that’s just how I am but yeah the whole story was more captivating than I expected?? I very much enjoyed it. By far the funniest joke was the main guy just being named Joey Richter 😭 one big bullying session fr fr the Heart really went for his ass with his line about the jaw. …Yknow if I had a nickel for every time Joe and Joey played different parts of the same character I’d have two nickels???? Which really isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice.

With this, I believe the only Starkid/TCB musicals I haven’t seen (not counting side shows or things not staged) are A Very Potter Senior Year and ANI. I’m happy to talk about any other show if anyone would like to discuss but I’m expecting this post to be lost to the void lmfao I just needed to get my thoughts out!

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

It’s probably a good thing I don’t have it because it was the song they did in rehearsal and I played it over and over until it was in my head permanently but did anyone preorder the grunch album on the TCB store and actually got the first song?

[jesterjamz]

16 for the main worlds! :D

oh this’ll be a fun one

teoa: considering most of the characters already have tumblr like canonically i would assume it’d just be the normal posts. cool jpeg of a cat. really funny image. etc etc. & then it’s a post from author that says “the egg is back” in reference to h & it has 50k notes despite nobody but authors friends knowing the context

salems descent: i don’t think they had tumblr in the 1690s but if they did they probably would not be using it because the story takes place in like the span of 9 hours (give or take) & i don’t think either side is going to take a break from active gunfire to liveblog the mini-war that’s happening in town

thmgau: once again most of the main characters have tumblr so it’s the same as teoa except instead of the egg it’s the banana. also ohio memes are bumped up to 200%. “woke up today & all my bananas were gone can’t have shit in cincinnati”

villainsonas: jj makes a post that just says “just robbed a bank lol” with photo evidence & it is not used against aem in court because it’s tumblr & the search feature does not work

yifc: avery does in fact have a tumblr blog (that i keep forgetting to post on) but i think during the events of yifc they would reblog among us posts & talk about their 2 imaginary friends (until the uno game that is)

stranded in salem: the grunch would never allow social media in his lab but like hypothetically it would be so funny. it would be like a knock-off tumblr that only the 15 people in the town have access to. ollie is trying to ratio everyone & it is not working

commodity clash: a contestant makes a post mid-contest that says “envelopes latest contest for cc is kind of mid tbh” & envelope sees it & starts crying.

[game-boy-pocket]

Since my family did Christmas yesterday, I had a free morning today. I decided to replay all of Mark Kurko's Banjo Kazooie christmas hacks. I haven't replayed any of them since their year of release. I believe we're up to four now.

I forgotten that a lot of DNA is shared between some of them, I was wrong about the unique NPCs being new to Santa's Village. The Grunch had an elf boy who could turn his head, and Snowglow village had these Master Jiggywiggy expies with an N64 logo for a head that would turn to face you. Captain Blubber losing letters to Santa happened before, and so did a stealthy section where you sneak around Gruntilda, though the UI having a noise meter was still new to Santa's Village.

Anyway, this may be a new yearly tradition for me moving forward, playing all the christmas BK hacks, but i'll try to space them out so I don't play them all in one day. I can't pick a favorite, I think Santa's Village might be the best in terms of presentation but I can't pick between Snow Glow Village or the Grunch for second place. Sorry Nightbear before Christmas but i'm docking points for Halloween Town not being fun to explore.

I'd love it if there were more christmas hacks on N64 of games like Mario 64 and Zelda. To be fair, there probably are Christmas hacks for Mario but I doubt any of them run on N64. Why do I specifically want N64? I dunno. I guess that's the console that makes me think of christmas the most. Lots of christmas imagery in all the snow levels, lots of personal christmas memories related to the console that I don't have with anything that came before or after... that and I just like 3D games.

[awigglycultist]

Random How the Grunch Cribbed Christmas thoughts/fav things/live blog/ect. Look you know the drill probably.

"Jinkles Christ what an embarrassing way to start!"

"shake your asses!"

Also Esther with the lights on them djdjjd

*farts into mic* "L'Chaim"

Why is Gwen flossing oh god

The applause sign nddbbd

Esther showing everyone a qr code for everyone to give them money ndjdn

"I can't believe you trust the internet with your money, I keep mine where its safe, irl in the unlocked glove department of my van parked out front... Theres cameras! Jesus Christ!"

"in your hometown where you would revice no attention or fame :)"

"and we're out!" "glad I don't have to listen that" "oh you know what sorry now we're out"

"I got an appointment out back with Jolly Ol Saint Dick"

The whole bit with Scrags interrogating Rudy nfjdd

"she knows we have a special bond. And I think her husband knows that too"

"Keith Swanson you puckish imp!"

"yeah we all agree she's trying to pig out on that Keith beef in thr sheets right?"

I think I would die if I was Ace

Poor Scrags

"it's also a waste of my stage time"

There he is. There's the grunch.

"I do not want to look like one of those amateur shows where there's a long blackout and people judt stumble around like idiots"

Ah yes non denominational Santa

"how old are you supposed to be in this song?" "six" "six?"

"Santa" "what?" "boner" "fuck"

Buddy they seem like they wanna fuck you bc of the song

"baby J, papa G, and... The third one"

"or join us on the naughty list" "I totally fucking will" "Keith"

"project"

Esther not being able to read the card is so funny

I love how fucking excited Esther is the moment they see Kirk

Rip Scrags

"my absolute. Best. Friend."

The Esther and Kirk handshake is incredible

I immediately absolutely love Kirk also so I get where Esther is coming from

"happy... Christmas everyone!"

Orlando's entrance is absolutely wonderful

"oh hey uhmm" "it's like the reindeer" "reindeer"

"and that's my childhood trauma.. Being privileged."

"do what my family did, celebrate both" "pft okay. You can do that!?"

"aren't you a sight for whore eyes"

I'd love to know if this would take place before or after ep1 of sisbib bc of Rhoda's Ark being one of the sponsorships

The absolute tension between Gwen and Lisa

"move on!"

Scrags has no idea what he's doing

"will the squad ever come to Florida?" "absolutely not"

"as the only Christian in the squad uhm... It me" "okay, holy spirit doesn't equate to holiday spirit dipshit" "oh my god can Christians just come out on top for once?"

Omg Nick Gage could write an awesome rock song about Christmas

The bit where Esther is on the floor seemingly about to fall asleep only to go right back into the song is great

Honestly incredibly rude if the grunch to knock everything over after Scrags just cleaned up, I don't even care about him stealing presents or....pissing into the diffuser

"if Gwen was giving anyone a handjob I would know about it!"

"do we have any fuckable singles in the audience?"

"I'm joking! I'm half joking"

So who's gonna do the math to figure out how many lawsuits he has against him and how many years he was in prison

I love Orlando

Also. I shout this out all the time but absolute shout out to the background acting in this show

Are they allowed to use this song?

Keith absolutely ROCKING OUT

Scrags screaming omh

"oh I don't know maybe a vengeful monster wHO WE JUST BEETLEJUICED INTO EXISTENCE"

"OH YEAH EAT SHIT ACE!"

Ah finally. Brian playing a women

"multi-generational ogies with the neighbours"

No he's right Pirates are super cool

:( Scrags <3 beloved poor guy

Joey saying bye to that person getting up in the middle of a song djdndkdb also that person left for the bathroom at the wrong time. Like they left right around the start of the song and then came back at the very end of it when everyone was absolutely going crazy applauding for the song, they really missed the best song

We definitely need more Joey and Corey duets

"what do you want Scrags?" "DAAADDD"

"Scrags what were you thinking?" hey it's not his fault you went live right as he had an emotional song with Orlando about his daddy issues

Omg didn't know Brian could play violin

Scrags just. Sulking. In the background.

Scrags putting up the applause sign for the show getting cancelled ndkdndnd

Keith having these signs prepared to ask for a threesome. Omg.

Brian quick changes!!

Honestly tho what a fun uplifting song

Their step forwards djdndn

"to get over this whole sad boy routine..."

"a threesome with her and who else?" *gets down on one knee and presents himself*

"this is a really long black out"

Joey nearly knocking over the mic sjdndj

"hide your kids hide your wives hide your presents!"

"maybe finally this year the grunch will finally take me and this nightmare will be over"

"he thinks moses is like the Santa of Hanukkah and I thought it was too funny to correct"

Yeah this really is terrifying

Keith you idiot

Yeah go off Gwen

Scrags and Esther doing hand motions in the background for the notes and make faces while Gwen misses her notes kdnddn

"his stink glands you see... We're.. So... Fucking bad"

Wonderful accent Scrags

The slow no fighting ndjd

Oh boy there's three grunches now!

Scrags finally held the sign up right :)

How dare they not give him a song

"Orlando, you remember!" "absolutely not."

Keith yelling "this is what I do when I'm happy!" when Esther tells him to stop flossing sjdbdn

Rip Rudy

YEAH WOO ESTHER

"some random y2k spy wear I had lying around"

"EFFECT ALTRUISM BITCHES" FUCK YEAH ESTHER

YEAH THEY SURE ARE THE MIRACLE

The fact Keith's first wet dream was too one of Esther's parents....

"yeah I got a lot of guilt" "ah yethe one thing you Catholics and us Jews have in common" "pretty sure the Jews call it 'gelt'" "nah that's chocolate coins" "no it's not"

"how many nights of Hanukkah are there??"

Reprise time!

WOO ACE!!

This show really is great and I Iove the music and really wish more people were watching it and talking about it

[queenofbaws]

Hey Queenie! Happy, fluffy prompts for NYE you say?🧐 You know I'm gonna shamelessly use your generosity to push the Laura/Max agenda, right? I've gotta say, I like the look of prompt No.1 on that OTP NYE prompt list (about the resolutions) and Oneliner No. 9 (NYE proposal)... Pick whichever you like better (or find a way to combine them if you dare😈) - Most importantly: have fun with it! I hope you have a great time over the holidays and throroughly enjoy the last week of 2022!💕

“Am I going to sound like a total Grinch if I say I’m glad we’re not going the party route this year?” Laura asked as she stretched out on the couch, her fuzzy pjs rumpled and her hair still messy with sleep despite the afternoon sun filtering in through the apartment’s blinds. “It just takes so much pressure off, not having to drive to and from someone else’s place in the dark, not having to make small-talk with a million people…not having to put on pants,” she added with a laugh, the sound turning into a groan when Silas, their not-so-puppy-sized Labrador pup hopped up onto the couch to lie right on top of her.

“Doesn’t make you sound like a Grinch at all, hun,” Max said, the size of the apartment making it so he barely had to raise his voice for her to hear him from the bedroom. “Buuut mostly that’s just because the Grinch really only cared about Christmas. You could be a new Grinch, though! One that, uh…shoot, okay, hang on, how would you go about ruining an entire village’s New Year’s Eve?”

She scratched Silas’s big, floppy ears as she thought on it. “I could…replace all the confetti with glitter.” From the bedroom, she heard Max pull in a scandalized gasp, and that had her laughing all over again. “That’s more of a long game, though. It’d probably be really pretty in the moment, it’d just take them until the next ice age to clean up after. If I really wanted to ruin the night itself, I could…um…ooh, sneak into all their little Who-Houses and block New Year’s Rockin’ Eve on all their tvs.”

“Don’t even joke about that – I heard they got Ariana Grande this year.”

“Oh, can’t miss that,” Laura kidded, craning her head back to watch him as he joined her in the living room. “Whatcha got there?” she asked when she spotted the piece of loose-leaf Max was looking down at, his fingers absently folding and unfolding it along a middle crease.

He didn’t look up from it, but his mouth turned up in a smile all the same. “Right, like I’m going spill my New Year’s secrets to the Grunch.”

“I…okay, hang on. No.”

“It’s a no on the Grunch?”

“It’s a no on the Grunch. Can we try another vowel, maybe? Like…how do we feel about the Granch? Hold on, no, that one’s…also bad. The…Gronch?”

“The Grench is probably easier to rhyme stuff with. For the song. Wrench, bench, drench, silen…ch…?”

“Grench it is.” Laura gave Silas one last hearty ear-scratch then wriggled out from under him, standing and stretching as she joined Max. She set her chin on his shoulder, but before she could get even the sneakiest peek at what was on the paper, he folded it shut tight and angled it away from her.

“What did I just say? Go Grench up someone else’s stuff.” He leaned in to press a kiss to the bridge of her nose before laughing, unfolding the wrinkled paper again. “This is…incredibly embarrassing, but…I was going through my drawers just now and I think, uh…I think I found last year’s list of New Year’s resolutions. Or this one’s? The ones I thought I’d do this year, let’s put it this way.”

“Uh oh.”

“I mean, okay, it’s not…it’s not that bad,” he said, his defensiveness purely for show. “Look, I definitely did this one! So I can cross that off, no prob! Do you have a pen? Here, let me find a pen…”

Laura snatched the paper away from him as she felt him move, and by the time she’d straightened it out in her own hands and interpreted the worst of his scribbly chickenscratch, she could hear him rummaging around in the kitchenette’s junk drawer. “Well one thing’s for sure,” she snickered under her breath, “cursive wasn’t a priority this year.”

One, read the sheet, Learn Spanish. Two, Work out more. Three, Train Silas. Four, Less fast food, more homecooked meals. And then, perplexingly, Five, DO THE THING!!!

Laura flipped the sheet over a couple times, just to make sure there weren’t any other surprises written on the other side. She turned as Max came back, pen in hand, but when he went to grab the list from her, she held it out of reach as he had a moment ago. “I’m sorry, which one of these do you think you did?” she teased, leaning further and further back the more he reached out towards her. “Cuz I gotta be honest, Max, I…don’t think any of these happened.”

“And that’s why you’re the Grench.” He made another swipe for the list, and when Laura ducked out of the way, tongue stuck out, he turned to the dog lazing on the couch. “Okay, you’re gonna make me pull out the big guns, huh? That’s fine. Silas! Sic her!” Max pointed an accusatory finger towards her as he gave the command, and Silas did perk his ears up…for all of a second. Then he went back to lying down, his tail thumping against a throw pillow. “C’mon, boy, we talked about this…”

With the brattiest grin she could manage, Laura held the list back out to Max, giving her fingers a teasing flourish when he grabbed it up. “Well, I guess we know which one you didn’t do…”

“All right, all right, perhaps I overestimated some of the intensive guard dog training we’ve been doing all year.”

“Uh huh.”

“Every single day.”

“Okay.”

“We wait until you’re at work or asleep, and then all bets are off.” He laughed, crossing something off the list before shaking his head down at it again. “Hey, since I totally didn’t judge you for sounding like the Grunch earlier – ”

“Grench,” she corrected, probably a little too quickly, given how awful the name was to begin with.

“ – am I going to sound like a total sap if I tell you I’m actually kind of…I dunno, disappointed that I didn’t do this stuff? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know pretty much everyone drops their resolutions like a hot box of rocks after February or whatever, but…it’s still sort of a bummer.” He glanced her way again, and that time she wasn’t so sure his defensiveness was of the joking variety. “That’s probably dumb, huh?”

She blew a raspberry as she tied her hair back out of her face, peering back down at the list with him. “What? No way! There’s nothing dumb about it, babe – feel your feelings.” Her eyes slowly moved down the list once more, and as she tucked herself against his side, his arm instinctively wrapping around her to bring her closer, a plan began to hatch.

Something resembling a plan, anyway.

“You know what?” she asked, jabbing a finger at the list. “This is what we’re going to do today.”

“What?”

“Yeah…yeah! We don’t have a party to go to, we don’t have people expecting us to show up and be social, so…yeah! Let’s resolve some resolutions!”

Max brightened at that, giving her waist a squeeze. “And the Grench’s heart grew three sizes that day…I’ll save this New Year’s, the Whos in Whoville all heard her say…”

It was with a playful shove that she slid out of his grasp, rolling her eyes and flapping her hand like a sock puppet. “Put some shoes on, I think I know how we can kill a couple birds with one stone,” she said over her shoulder as she headed for the bedroom, trying to decide which of her jackets would best hide her pjs. “Oh, but hey,” Laura added, pulling open one of the dresser drawers to rummage for a pair of socks. “What’s ‘The Thing?’”

“Uh?”

“The…The Thing!” she said again, rolling her eyes at herself that time. “On the list! Number five said ‘Do The Thing.’”

“Yeah?”

“Sooo,” she drew the word out as she pulled her socks on. “What is it? The Thing? That’s what you crossed off just now, wasn’t it?”

“Oh. Yeah. I’ve got no idea.”

She walked back out of the bedroom to find Max lacing his snow boots, and all she could do was sigh. “You don’t know? It was on the list!”

“Well yeah, but I mean…I think you’ll agree, it wasn’t particularly, uh, descriptive.” He flashed her a sheepish grin when he caught the look on her face, the one that was only pretending to be exasperated. “Look, whatever it is, or was, I think it’s pretty safe to assume I probably did it. Right?”

The jingle of his leash had Silas bounding after them. Laura bent to clip it to his collar, shaking her head the whole time. “For sure. For sure.”

---

To his credit, Max hadn’t complained once during the outing to the pet store. Those bags of dog food weren’t exactly light, but he’d handled them like a champ, even when their detour down the squeaky toy aisle lasted longer than expected. The grocery store, however, turned out to be a different story.

“When my arms fall off, please promise me you’ll tell my mom I lost them doing something heroic,” he grunted, wincing as Laura put yet another two-liter of soda into the handbasket he was holding. “Or, I don’t know, super masculine at least. Like…oh, like arm wrestling a lumberjack.”

“Oh, hi Mrs. Brinly. Yeah, the arm thing. It’s…kind of hard to explain. So we were buying pancake mix, you know, like you do, and there was only one box left. Max went for it at the same time as this huge, rugged, beardy guy wearing flannel, and wouldn’t you know it, next thing I know, they’re arm wrestling on a crate of flour.”

“Geez, you’re good at that. Too good.”

“Why thank you!” To even him out, she placed a bottle of juice in the other handbasket, wrinkling her nose up in a mischievous grin as she got a good look at everything they’d picked up so far. “That’s probably enough for a New Year’s in, don’t you think? We got the drinks, we got snacks, we got…”

“An anvil…”

“An anvil,” she agreed. “Aaand…all the fixings for, say it with me, a good old-fashioned homecooked meal. Instead of fast food. Between that and all this heavy lifting, I think you’ve totally earned two more checkmarks on that resolution list.”

Max didn’t need to be told twice – the instant ‘That’s probably enough’ had come out of her mouth, he’d turned on his heel, making for the cash registers. There was a hot second there were he wobbled with the weight of the baskets, but he caught himself just as quickly, shooting her a look that made it very clear he was awfully proud of his own resilience. “Totally.”

“Totally!”

“This is more working out than I remember doing last year.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” she joked, snagging a big box of Christmas tree-shaped chocolates from the discount rack. She’d had every intention of carrying it herself – really! – but Max made a dramatic ‘ahem’ sound and attempted to lift one of the baskets, so she wedged it in there to appease him. “And let’s be real, most people are definitely ordering pizza or something tonight, so us having a nice sit-down dinner? That’s gotta count.”

“Gotta,” he agreed. “Now, I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t really see how we’re going to swing the rest of the list, but…”

“Now who’s being all Grenchy?” She watched him struggle to lift the baskets up to the checkout counter for all of five seconds before she took pity on him and his overtaxed arms, scootching close to begin pulling each item out one by one to put on the cashier’s conveyor belt. “Don’t sweat it,” she said with a peck to his cheek. “I’m resolved to resolve these resolutions.”

“How resolute of you.”

She laughed when he set the empty baskets down and dramatically began rubbing his biceps, his relief brought to an abrupt end as she teased, “Can’t wait to see you carry this stuff all the way back to the car.”

---

There was a certain sort of joy that came with hearing your very grown-up boyfriend following very closely along with Dora the Explorer. She wasn’t sure it was a sort of joy she had a name for, exactly, only that it more or less had the same effect of getting the giggles in an important class – if she didn’t pour all of her focus into something else, it was too easy to collapse into delighted laughter. Already her stomach hurt, and it’d only been one episode!

“Sounds like you’re making good progress in there!” she called into the kitchen, taking it upon herself to pick up the resolution list from the side table where it’d been left, crossing out numbers two and four.

“Gracias,” Max called back over the sound of a singing map and the sizzle of cooking chicken. “Which is Spanish for thank you.”

“You don’t say.” Laura stood back up and ambled to join him in the kitchen, walking up and wrapping her arms around him from behind. “Smells good,” she said, stealing a quick finger-scoop of mashed potatoes. “Have you figured out how to say ‘smells good’ in Spanish yet?”

“No,” Max pretended to sigh, flipping a piece of chicken and stepping back into her as he dodged a small spatter of oil. “Which, if you were wondering, is Spanish for ‘no.’”

“Amazing.”

“Right? I really feel like I’m expanding my horizons here.”

“You know, I was thinking about it just now, and didn’t you take, like…three years of Spanish back in high school? Why do I remember you taking Spanish in high school?”

“Uh, that would be because I took three years of Spanish back in high school. I just had…other priorities.”

“Wow. Artful way to say you didn’t pay attention.”

“Thank you! Er, gracias. It’s nowhere near as good as your lumberjack story, but it gets the job done. Can you pass me the pepper, maybe?”

She groaned into the back of his shirt as though letting go of him was a physical pain, resisting for as long as she could. “Si,” she laughed, dropping her arms from his middle and turning to look around until she spotted the pepper shaker on the countertop. “Which, just fyi – ”

“I know what ‘si’ means, Laura.”

“Are you sure?”

“Si. Which is Spanish for ‘duh.’”

“Oh, is it?”

“Mhm. It is.”

“Learn something new every day.” After she handed him the pepper, she turned back around again, looking down at Silas as he lay in the doorway, his head on his paws and his big, dark eyes melting her heart with that puppy-dog begging he was just so good at. “I sure hope you have ideas for how you’re gonna train this one to do anything before the year’s out in a few hours, because I’ve got nothing.”

Seeming to sense he was about to get attention – or, even better, some of that chicken – Silas lifted his head up, his tail giving a tentative wag. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a smart lil’ guy…if anything, he was maybe a little too smart, since he always seemed to know exactly how to get his way with the least effort possible. It’d been sheer dumb luck that’d gotten him to walk on a leash; everything else was pretty much a no-go, from the simplest tricks to basic obedience. The idea of teaching him to do…well, much of anything before the clock struck midnight wasn’t just far-fetched, it was almost ridiculous!

Max hardly seemed daunted, though. Maybe crossing everything else off his resolution list had inflated his confidence. “Oh, c’mon, it can’t be that hard,” he said, very, very pointedly ignoring the look she gave him in response to that. “Right, bud? You’re trainable, aren’t you?”

Silas’s tail thumped a little louder against the floor.

“See? He’s down.”

“He’s down with that chicken, that’s what he is.”

“And that’s all we need! Now, watch and learn…” He cut off a sliver of chicken and checked to see whether it was cooked. It must’ve been, because he blew on it a couple times to cool it off, then held it up where Silas could see it. “Okay, you ready for game time, boy?” Max asked, grinning Laura’s way when Silas got up onto his feet, not just his tail but his entire back end wagging back and forth at the promise of sweet, sweet chicken. “How about…sit! Sit! I, uh…no? Okay, uh…paw?” He held his other hand, the one not holding the chicken, out towards him, wiggling his fingers. “Shake?”

Laura couldn’t help but grin right back, folding her arms across her chest as she watched the spectacle. Not that ‘spectacle’ was the right word. ‘Spectacle’ sort of suggested something was happening – anything. That wasn’t really the case.

“Roll over?” Max tried, his voice taking on a plaintive tone. “Uh…speak? Speak! Um…” Again, he shot a look towards her, his grin significantly more sheepish now. Something must’ve occurred to him then, because she swore she could almost see the cartoonish lightbulb appear over his head. “Okay, boy, how about this? Just stand there. Don’t do anything else. Stay! Stay.”

They paused for a beat, the two of them, just watching to see what Silas would do.

And when he did absolutely nothing, Max tossed him the piece of chicken and beamed. “Good boy! There, see? Totally trainable.”

“I can’t believe I doubted you. You know, maybe this year one of your resolutions should be building us some shelves for all the dog show trophies he’s definitely going to win.”

“Maybe it should,” he laughed. “But hey, could you do me one more favor and get some plates down? It’s definitely that I need to flip this chicken again, by the way. Has nothing to do with my arms feeling like wet spaghetti noodles. Because they don’t. At all.”

She hummed in agreement, stopping to pet Silas’s head before reaching up to the cupboard where they kept the plates. “You should workout less next year, while we’re drafting new resolutions. Give yourself a break, you know? You really pushed yourself this year.”

“Tell me about it.”

---

It was crazy how quickly the day had flown by. Laura felt like it’d only been a minute ago that she’d been lazing on the couch with the sun on her face, but as they sat surfing channels while waiting for Ariana Grande’s much-anticipated New Year’s performance, the world outside their blinds was pitch black except for a few fat snowflakes drifting by every so often.

She stretched her arms out with a groan of exertion, then snuggled back against Max’s side, tucking her feet underneath the blanket they kept draped over the couch’s arm. “So, whaddya think?” she asked as they breezed past the millionth commercial for the millionth gym to be played in the past three minutes. “Who had a better change of heart – me or the Grinch?”

“Hmm,” Max hummed, the arm draped around her shoulders moving just enough that he could curl a piece of her hair around his finger. “The Grinch.”

“Um, excuse me?” Playfully, she pushed his hand away, angling herself to stare him down. “Explain yourself.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. I worked some crazy New Year’s miracles today! Or, some crazy New Year’s technicalities, anyway. Which are pretty much the same thing, honestly.”

“Okay, fair, fair.” Without her cuddling up beside him, Max laced his fingers behind his head and rested back against them. “But…to be totally fair…look at it this way. The Grinch? Brought Christmas to a whole town.”

“After stealing it from them,” she pointed out. “In the dead of night. And like, lying to a child. And eating all their Who-hash. Whatever that is.”

He acted as though he hadn’t heard her, his gaze taking on a distant cast, as though he were really thinking about the comparison. “You, on the other hand, I will admit, definitely saved my year by helping me cross off almost all my resolutions, but – ”

“Wait,” Laura said, sitting up a little bit straighter. “Waitwaitwait. Almost? What’s this almost?” When he didn’t immediately answer, she threw her arms out to her sides. “We crossed everything off your list, Max!”

His eyes snapped back to her, his expression one of abject doubt. “Uh. Okay, only, weee…didn’t.”

“We did! I…we did!” Only now he had her doubting herself, too. One by one, Laura raised her fingers, counting resolutions off on them. “You worked out more, sort of. And you taught Silas a trick, sort of. You learned Spanish…sort of. And we had a homecooked meal instead of fast food! Oh, and you did The Thing, I guess. Probably. Whatever that was.”

“Whatever that was,” he agreed. “But hun, that’s only five.”

She rolled her eyes to him, searching his face for any sign he was kidding around. As far as she could tell, he wasn’t, but…but that couldn’t be right! It’d been a minute since she’d looked at his list, sure, so it was possible that she was forgetting something, and yet…

Instead of arguing with him, she untangled herself from the blanket and walked over to the side table where they’d left the list. She picked it up and scanned it again, and while Max’s handwriting was just as terrible as it had been that morning, no matter how many times she read over it or flipped it to its other side, there were only the same five resolutions.

“Max,” she sighed, turning back towards him with the list in her hands. “Babe, there’s only fi – ” Only Max wasn’t on the couch anymore; he must’ve gotten up when she had, because he was standing right in front of her, that same sheepish smile on his face as he plucked the list from her hands and folded it over, sliding it into his own back pocket.

“Okay, actually, I sort of fibbed a little,” he said, and something about his tone, or how quickly he was talking, or something, gave her heart a tiny flutter. “There weren’t six. There were just five, like you said. Buuut…uh, I crossed one off sort of, um, let’s say prematurely? So I kind of…need your help with that one too. Since you’ve been helping me with the others all day.”

“Oookay,” she said slowly. “I…wait, is this about ‘Do The Thing?’ You liar! I knew something was off when you were all ‘Oh, I probably did it!’ There was no way you forgot what it was! I should’ve…” Her words ran dry, though, as Max took her hand in his and, with the other, brought out a small box from the pocket where he’d stashed his resolution list.

“It…is about ‘Do The Thing,’” Max admitted. “Except, like I said, I sort of…need your help on this one, so…” Squeezing her hand tighter, he used the index finger of his other hand to lever the box open, revealing the ring nestled inside. “Do you wanna…do the thing? With me? If it’s, y’know…not too cliché to propose on New Year’s Eve?”

She didn’t even need to think about it.

Laura grabbed Max’s face in both her hands, pulling him into an exuberant kiss he gladly returned. “Yes!” she laughed, grinning so hard her cheeks began to hurt. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Let’s do the thing – let’s do the thing!” And just like that, he slid the ring onto her finger, she pulled him into another kiss, and on the tv behind them a crowd cheered as the clock rolled over to midnight, the new year starting off precisely how it was meant to.

[writefightandflightclub]

A FinnPoe Christmas

Summary: A super fluffy FinnPoe chat post, based on the Tweet below. Angry Christmas sweater Poe is everything (see source in tags for credit, first posted here by @uomo-accattivante​, I believe!)

Side note: WAS THINKING ABOUT ANGRY POE AT CHRISTMAS AND THEN I MISTYPED GRINCH AND THEN THIS JUST HAPPENED Y’ALL. Probably should have just made it a proper fic but here it is anyway. Also I know it’s June and I’m not even sorry.

Poe: *Mr Cranky Pants, after complaining incessantly about Finn’s looped Xmas tunes*

Finn: - in fact... You’re not even a grinch. No, you’re WORSE than a grinch. You’re a GRUNCH.

Poe: *bent out of shape* The hell is a “grunch”?

Finn: *amused* I ain’t telling!

Poe: *cranky intensifies*

Poe: *with a moody face, angrily placing baubles on the tree, sighing dramatically each time*

Finn: See? *he laughs* Such a goddamn GRUNCH.

Poe: ...

Finn: *laughing intensifies*

Poe: *through his teeth* What is it NOW?!

Finn: In all my LIFE. I’ve never seen someone look so cranky in a CHRISTMAS PUDDING HAT. Your FACE! *more laughing, clutching belly*

Poe: *caving, mouth twitching in the faintest of smiles* Still cannot believe ya made me wear this.

Finn: Why are you even helping then, if you hate all this so much

Poe: ...

Poe: Well... *shyly* I might hate Christmas but I love YOU.

Finn: Huh. You’re CUTE for a grunch, Dameron, I’ll give you that.

Poe: *s o f t e n i n g*

Poe: *smugly* It’s true, I am a goddamn snack -even in this hat- and I demand you eat me up.

Finn: That an order, Co-General? *caught in Poe’s arms as he moves in for a soft kiss*

Poe: *pulling away with a misty, contented smile* Hmm.

Finn: “Hmm”, what?

Poe: Well... *picks up the matching pudding hat, placing it gently on Finn’s head* Maybe Christmas isn’t SO bad, when it’s with you.

Finn: ...

Finn: *smiles and hugs Poe tight, leans in to whispers something important and meaningful into his ear* Grunch.

Poe: !!!!

Finn: *cackling, stroking Poe’s stubbled cheek as his jaw drops in offence* Also, I love you, you dork, but I am NOT wearing this hat. *places it down* I don’t think there’s any reason for us to BOTH look like idiots.

Poe: !!!!

Poe: *going full Mr Cranky Pants, hands on hips, angry lip bite, but with a deep, uncontainable affection behind his eyes as Finn innocently beams back at him*

Finn: *returns to hanging baubles, a butter-wouldn’t-melt expression on his face*

Poe: *having none of it* Oh, nuh-uh. You come here to me. *come hither hand gesture*

Finn: *teasing* Kinda busy, Poe. You want to kiss me, you know what to do. Get in the Christmas spirit.

Poe: Mistletoe is for cowards.

Finn: *shrugs indifferently, baiting him*

Poe: Fine! *caving in, holding-up the mistletoe enticingly over his head, lips puckered deliciously* I wanna kiss you, pudding.

Finn: *eyes shining with love and heat in equal measure* Ugh, finally! You look so damn hot in that Christmas sweater, you’re sending me.

Poe: *smug* Oh yeah? This old thing?

Finn: *winding his arms around Poe* You look so... cuddly.

Poe: *Wrapping his arms around Finn’s waist in return, leaning in for a kiss* Not to sound like a grunch again, but... I HATE it. It’s SCRATCHY.

Finn: *half-mocking* Poor delicate pudding.

Poe: *suggestively* Wanna take it off me and I’ll show you where ELSE I can hang this mistletoe? *A cheeky pop of one eyebrow*

Finn: *feigning shock, but definitely i n t e r e s t e d* Poe Dameron!

Poe: *low, sultry* Finn Dameron. *kisses him again, harder, walking him back to the nearest surface.

Finn: *eyes shining with lust as the jumper ends up on the floor* You are HOT, Poe, but are you for real, right now? You’re keeping the pudding hat ON, for THIS?

Poe: *hands feel around his head in surprise, a grin splitting his face* What?! How did that even stay on?! *Folds forward, laughing into Finn’s neck, planting kisses as he goes*

Finn: *clutching Poe’s hat and tossing it aside, winding his hands in his curls as Poe looks into his eyes*

Poe: *a smile spreading, softness infusing his eyes* Merry Christmas, baby.

Finn: *soft, smiling, holding Poe tight* Merry Christmas, love.

FINNPOE: *curtains close on a kiss*

THE END