#of my ass . some ones gotta do it if the doctor won’t!

[captainsjack]

watching any sort of alien invasion movie after doctor who is so funny every 3 seconds they do something stupid and i’m just like . ok well the doctor could’ve sorted all this out in 43 minutes AND looked good doing it you have neither going for you i’m losing hope :/

[traveler-at-heart]

Doctor's In - Part 9

Wanda Maximoff x Doctor!R

Summary: New Year, new... relationship challenges? Sharing a home isn't all fun and games.

A/N: Everyone, please don’t tell me how much you hate where this story is going just because it seems like R will cheat on Wanda. There’s more to the plot and it’s not something I’m doing just randomly, I’m spending time and effort into creating a fic that is a bit more nuanced or at least I hope it is.

Natasha is not a people person.

Which is funny, considering her profession. She’s created a system that allows her to interact with patients as little as possible, and to focus on what she understands best: the human heart.

Not as a metaphor for sentimental stuff, but as a perfect machine.

She’s out of her element now, and considering the stupid drunk that is shouting in the middle of the ER, Natasha thinks it’s better to check if you’re around later.

“Is anybody going to take a look at this?” the man raises his messed up hand, slurring his words. He approaches Natasha, and she busies herself reading a chart. “Are you going to help or not, hot stuff?”

“I don’t work here” she grumbles, deciding that she’ll have to wait for you somewhere else.

“I was hoping you could take care of me. Where are you going? I'm talking to you” he says when she turns to leave, his good hand flying to grab her by the elbow.

Natasha is ready to throw a punch, but she never feels his touch in any part of her body.

“Lay a hand on her and I will strap you to a hospital bed and give you a colonoscopy without anesthesia” you say, surprising him with your strenght. “Now, sir, sit the fuck down and someone will be with you shortly”

“I’ll handle it” Barnes, the new nurse, approaches with his signature frown. He is equally attractive and terrifying, though most of the nurses ignore the latter.

“Thank you” you smile, watching the man become quiet as Barnes grabs him by the shoulder, knowing he won’t be able to say anything stupid to him. “Hi, Nat”

“Hey, stranger” she smiles at you. “I was hoping I’d run into you here”

“Is that why you were wandering the ER? You could just text me” you smile, walking with her to the cafeteria. “My shift ended an hour ago, which is why I wasn’t the one dealing with that asshole”

“Thank you for that, you are such a gentlewoman. I am dissapointed, though. I was hoping you’d stay for our first lesson today”

“Of course I am. I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

Most of the hospital was buzzing with excitement at learning the new surgical technique that had earned Melina Romanoff a Nobel Prize. The exception was Tony, but that was only because he was convinced the Romanoffs had a secret, evil plot to take over. Even Pepper had told me to chill in front of everyone.

You sit at the front, saving a spot for Darcy and follow every word Natasha says. She’s just going over some of the theory and the process of how the research came to be, which is still very interesting to you. Medical research required patience and focus that you did not have, so you had turned your professional development to trauma, as well as search and rescue training.

“We’ll meet on Wednesday to start the first exercises” she finishes the presentation, and winks at you discreetly.

You smile, leaving the conference room, Darcy right behind you.

“What was that?”

“What? Were you expecting exercises from the get go?”

“I meant the wink. Why was she winking at you?” Darcy insists and you shrug your shoulders.

“I don’t know. Friends wink at each other. I wink at you!”

“If you winked at me, I’d think you’re having a stroke” Darcy insists, and you have to roll your eyes. “It was flirty”

“Natasha knows about my relationship, we are just friends” you say, eager to finish the conversation.

“I just think there’s something fishy about this”

“You too? Stark got to you, Lewis” you mock, nudging her shoulder. “Come on, it’s all fine. I gotta get home, though, I forgot to tell Wanda I was staying longer”

“I hope she kicks your ass for that!” Darcy says as you run out of the hospital.

“Yeah, yeah”

As you drive home, you stop by the shopping street to get Wanda some flowers. You don’t think she’ll be too upset about you being late, but it never hurts to be safe.

Still, as you park in the driveway, you take a couple of minutes inside your car, looking at your old home in the rearview mirror.

Truth be told… you’re stalling. Though you love everyone inside the Maximoff house very much, you’ve had so much work these past two weeks, and it’s always a bit exhausting to get home and find the kids running around or Pietro complaining about something.

As someone who went from living alone to sharing a house with four other people full time, it was definitely overwhelming to say the least.

You take a last, deep breath and step inside the house, Pietro watching a show while the twins play in the backyard.

“You’re late” he comments.

“Work stuff” is all you say, not feeling in the mood to justify your tardiness to someone who isn’t Wanda.

But, as you enter the kitchen and your eyes meet hers, you can tell she’s also a little upset.

“Sorry, work ran long” you apologize, offering the flowers. She tries to smile and you put them down on the counter. “I really am sorry, Wands”

“No, it’s ok. I’m just behind with the book and the kids were a little difficult today… I could have used your help, that’s all”

I could have used some rest, you want to say, but that won’t help. It’s not forever, you keep thinking. Pietro will get better and move out, and things will be less crowded.

“I’ll be here all day tomorrow, I can take care of anything you need” you promise, saying goodbye to the prospect of a good nap. To keep yourself busy, you take out stuff to make a sandwich, sighing when you notice you’re out of cheese. “Like going to the grocery store, I guess”

Pietro keeps eating everything and by the time you’re home, there’s barely any food left.

“And you’re coming to the twins game on Wednesday, right?”

“Oh” you pause, scratching your neck. “I have to go to the hospital”

“Again? It seems like you’re there all week” Wanda protests.

“Well, yeah, we’re understaffed, between people being sick and others taking time off. I have to go and head the department, it’s my job, Wanda” you say, suddenly not hungry.

Nothing’s enough, you’re not good enough.

“I just… miss you. That’s all” Wanda says, and you sigh, feeling like an asshole.

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s always crazy during January, plus we’re doing a new training with a doctor from Boston. Things will settle in a couple of weeks, I promise”

“Ok” she nods, smiling as you approach her, kissing her temple. “But you’ll have to make it up to me”

“I have a few ideas for that, Miss Maximoff” you smile, pulling her against you and kissing her temple. “And none of them include clothes”

“Good” she laughs, standing on her toes to kiss you.

—

You wanted to have a good day, you really did. Wanda needed some work done on her new study so you dropped off the kids and drove to the hardware store, trusting Pietro could be fine on his own for a while.

What really ruined the mood happened on the way back home.

While turning on a busy street, your mother calls and instead of pressing the ignore button, you answer.

“Fuck” you mutter and it’s too late to hang up. “Hey, mom”

Wanda perks up at that, curious about your mother. She has never even heard her voice, let alone watch you have a conversation on the phone with her. She can tell your posture stiffens.

“Hello, Y/N. I missed your call for the holidays”

“Had lots of work” you lie.

“Oh, well. Hope you liked your birthday present” the woman says in a kinder tone and you almost want to laugh.

“Yeah, thanks. Really appreciate it”

“So, I don’t have a lot of time, wanted to let you know we’re flying there next week but we’re just gonna stay for three days. I don’t think we’ll have the time to meet you. Plus, it’s just us family, you know”

“Right” you try to sound disappointed, but are actually tempted to stop the car and dance around the street. “Some other time”

“Just make sure you’re available in case we need anything. It’s the least you can do”

“Of course” you agree, looking out of the corner of your eye at the confused expression on Wanda’s face. “Have fun, say hi to everyone for me”

“Ok, you take care now”

The minute she hangs up, you let out a huge sigh of relief.

“What was that?” Wanda says, frowning.

“Which part, love?”

“Everything! Ok, first of all, the birthday present. What did she get you? I didn’t see anything delivered”

“Wanda, she doesn’t even know where I live. What happened was, someone walked by and she pretended to be nice. She’s always done it” you explain, feeling irritated. All you want is to be happy that you won’t see her, but Wanda is pushing the subject.

“And what about them coming? And not making the time to see you? Just us family? You’re her daughter!”

“Wanda, please, drop it” you plead, parking outside your home and stepping out of the car.

“Why is she like this? Why don’t you call her out on it? And I’m sorry, I just can’t understand someone being so horrible to their own child”

“Wanda!” you snap, slapping the trunk of the car. “I know, she’s horrible. I don’t care if she lies about getting me a birthday present and I don’t care enough about her to call her out for being mommy dearest. I am just so damn happy that I don’t have to be around her anymore, can we please focus on that?”

“I am just trying to understand. You never tell me anything about her” Wanda protests and you can’t believe she’s still talking about this.

“Everything there is to know, you already know, Wanda. What else would you like to learn? That sometimes I went to bed without having dinner because she thought I was getting fat? Or that when I got a summer job and was out too late she only let me sleep on the porch? What other fucking twisted things would you like to learn about that awful woman?”

“I…”

“If I say it’s complicated or I don’t want to talk about it, maybe just listen once. Here” you toss the car keys her way, not caring if she catches them or not. “I’m going for a walk”

You’d do more than walk if you were wearing different shoes and it wasn’t so damn cold. Still, you don’t make it very far, running into a black and white bunny in the middle of the street. None of your neighbors have pet rabbits, not that you can recall.

“Where did you come from?” you say, hugging the little thing and feeling relaxed as it moves its nose and settles in your arms.

“Señor Scratchy!” Agatha yells from her porch, and you turn around.

“I take it he’s yours?”

“Yes, Rio gave him to me. Señor Scratchy, what are you doing outside?” the woman says with a soft voice, taking him back. “I don’t know how he got out”

“Maybe your fence? Let’s take a look” you walk around to her backyard, pointing at an old part of her wooden fence. “Aha!”

“Oh, great. It will take forever to find someone to fix it” she grumbles. “He’ll have to stay inside for the time being”

“I can fix it. It will only take an hour or so” you say, eager to stay out of the house for a bit longer.

“Well, aren’t you a sweetheart?” Agatha squeezes your cheek and then slaps it gently. “Just remember, I’m already taken, hot stuff”

“I’m just fixing your fence, Miss Harkness” you wink. “I’ll be back with the stuff we need”

Wanda seems to be in her study when you go back home. The fact that you feel relieved instead of sad for making her hide does make you a little guilty.

Truth is, you’ve never lived with anyone you had a relationship with, and neither did she. Maybe you’re both expecting things to be perfect, and it’s just not realistic. Disagreements are bound to happen when you share a home.

Right?

As you work on Agatha’s fence, you keep thinking about a way to make things work for everyone, because you’ve had a couple of fights with Wanda in the span of two days and you really don’t want to make it a habit.

“Did that fence do something to you?” Agatha interrupts you, handing over a glass of water.

“Huh?” you look up at her, taking it and nodding your thanks.

“You're nailing that wood a little too hard, hot stuff” she says, dragging a garden chair and sitting next to you. “Spill”

Saying it’s nothing won’t stop her from asking, so you keep working and tell her everything that has been going on. How the house feels too crowded sometimes, and work is kicking your ass. It takes a minute, but you admit that Wanda really upset you, questioning why you didn’t stand up to your mother.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s something I’ve always wondered myself. Why didn’t I say something instead of being weak. It struck a nerve when Wanda said it out loud”

“Did she call you weak?” Agatha says, frowning.

“No, that’s me being dramatic” you chuckle.

“Look, it’s what I told you the other day. Not everyone understands it, because most people have a semi functional relationship with their parents. And from the sound of it, Wanda’s were straight out of a sitcom”

“I guess”

“She doesn’t have to understand it. She just has to respect your boundaries” Agatha says and you nod, still thinking about everything. “Have you ever thought about going no contact with your mother?”

“Is that what you did?”

“Oh, honey, my mother’s dead. So unless I pull out a Ouija board, we’re no contact already” she cackles, which makes you laugh.

“I don’t know. If she needs something, I guess I would try to help her. If she was a bad mother, that’s on her. But I won’t be a bad daughter”

“You’re too good” Agatha pats your back, and you smile at her.

“Alright, well, your fence is fixed. Can we call it even with the therapy session you just gave me?” you stand up, making sure everything’s in its place.

“Nu-uh, you owe me” Agatha jokes, taking the bunny out to the backyard. “You’ll be fine. Tú puedes”

“Duolingo?”

“Rio’s been teaching me Spanish. The other stuff I can’t say it to you because it’s dirty and for her ears only” the brunette winks, which makes you blush. “Bye, Y/N”

“Bye, Agatha” you roll your eyes at her antics, feeling better as you walk back home.

You figure it’s better to start working on what Wanda needs, so you carry the stuff upstairs and knock before entering the guest room turned into a study.

“Hey” you say, as Wanda looks out the window instead of working.

“Hi”

“I’ll fix the lights and then adjust your desk, or do you need to work now?” you ask, unsure if she’s also upset at you.

“No, that’s fine. It’s not even important, you should rest, work has been crazy for you” she finally turns, and you can tell she’s trying hard not to cry.

“Hey… come here” you step closer, pulling her into a hug. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m really sorry for pushing the subject. I can’t imagine someone being so awful to you, and I made you… I should have kept it to myself”

“It’s… yeah. It wasn’t nice and I really don’t like to look back at everything that happened. But I know you didn’t mean any harm, ok? I love you, baby” you kiss her temple, feeling her relax in your arms. “Why don’t you go check on your brother? He’s been too quiet, which can only mean he’s getting into some sort of trouble”

“Or buying more stuff from Amazon. We barely fit here” Wanda grumbles and you laugh, kissing her. “I’m sorry”

“I know. You’ll make it up to me in bed” you joke, which makes her laugh.

“Maybe now that he’s busy…”

In that precise moment, her brother decides to call for Wanda.

“Go” you kiss Wanda again, wishing you had more time just with her.

—

Natasha’s not excited about the day ahead, the only silver lining being that she gets to see you. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course. She’s flirting and constantly eyeing you, but nothing’s gonna happen.

Not on a lack of desire on her part. It’s pretty obvious you’re not the type of person who cheats. Pretty ironic, she finally meets a decent woman and you’re already taken.

What does that girlfriend of yours have that she doesn’t? Aside from two kids that adore you. Is the whole housewife thing really that appealing to someone like you?

As she enters the room for the next lesson, Natasha notices you’re sitting a few rows behind. That’s a little disappointing. Still, your eyes follow her every move and she feels a little surge of pride at that.

If only you were single, Natasha might get you to roleplay that teacher-student fantasy she’s had.

Still, as she finishes her explanation, you walk up to her, smiling.

“That was brilliant, Natasha” a brunette doctor walks behind you, and you reach out to stop her. “Hey, come meet Doctor Romanoff, Darcy”

“Pleased to meet you. We’re loving the lessons” she says, not wanting to make small talk. “Y/N, come on. I’m starving”

“Oh, I was thinking we could go out for a bite if you’d like?” you turn to Natasha, smiling.

“I’ve got surgery in half an hour” Darcy says, glaring at you.

“Nat?” you turn to the woman, smiling. “Bishop can take care of the ER for me”

“Yeah, I’d love to” Natasha says, kicking herself over how fast she agrees to doing anything you ask.

“Awesome, I know this great place” you begin saying, but she gets a phone call. Natasha looks at you apologetically, but you smile, while Darcy is pulling at your sleeve and giving her a strange look.

“I’ll only take a moment” Natasha promises.

“Yeah, that’s fine”

“A word, Y/N?” Darcy finally gets your attention back and you frown.

Natasha doesn’t care much about the new doctor, unless she’s also fighting for your attention. She finds an empty room to take the call, shutting the door behind her.

“What is it, mother?”

“How’s the second lesson?”

“Fine. Do you keep a timer on your desk?”

“I just like to know if the study plan I designed is working, Natalia. That way, when we move to the next one, it can be more efficient until we manage a global, scalable solution”

“We? I’m only doing this here and then I’m going back to my research, you agreed” Natasha reminds her, blood boiling.

“This is your legacy too”

“Then how come I wasn’t up there getting the Nobel with you?”

“Natalia, those are insignificant things compared to what we can acheive” Melina scoffs.

“I’m not going to spend another month in a different hospital just because you’re too paranoid about someone stealing your research”

“Fine, then get me a new Head of Trauma for Boston and we’ll consider it even” Melina says. “You know Yelena wants to focus on that, she needs someone who can teach her”

“There are tons of applicants. Choose one from the pile in your desk, Mother” Natasha sighs, knowing where this is going.

“What about that doctor you told me about? You sounded so enamoured last time”

“She wouldn’t move to another city, her girlfriend’s here” Natasha says.

“Girlfriends aren’t wives. Well, even spouses can get divorced. Maybe she just needs to hear the right offer” Melina insists.

“Mother…”

“You’re not resuming your research until you find a new Head of Trauma. That’s final, Natalia” the woman loses her cool, hanging up on her daughter.

Natasha feels so stupid, of course this would happen. Melina never cared about anything other than herself and her accomplishments.

“Fuck” the woman says, kicking one of the chairs. You walk inside that precise moment, jumping at the outburst.

“You ok?” you say, locking the door.

“Yeah. It’s nothing”

You let out a sigh, sitting next to her in the bed of the on call room.

“We can skip lunch if you’re not hungry”

“It’s not that. I mean, I’m not hungry anymore, my mother just pissed me off” Natasha shakes her head, trying to calm her racing heart.

“You got one of those too, huh?” you chuckle. “I’m sorry, Nat, honestly. It’s the worse feeling in the world. Someone who should support you trying to bring you down, and then no one believing you because there’s this collective denial that mothers can be bad people”

“Yeah, that’s exactly it. To everyone else she’s a genius. To me, she’s the woman who’s always reminding me how ordinary I am compared to her” Natasha fiddles with her hands, not used to being vulnerable. Not with someone who understands her so well.

“You’re not ordinary, Natasha” you say with so much conviction that the redhead looks up, eyes meeting yours. “And if your mother thinks that, I’m sorry to say that she’s not as smart as I thought”

Natasha laughs, blushing a little at the compliment. You nudge her with your elbow, standing up.

“Want some coffee instead? If you’re not hungry anymore” you place your hand in the doorknob, checking if she’s ready to step out.

“Yeah, sure”

As you nod and open the door, Natasha stands up, reaching for your wrist.

“I… thank you. You’re too kind to me” she says in a low voice.

“I guess I know how isolating it can be. If you ever want to talk, I’m here” you squeeze her arm in return, smiling at her.

Natasha is about to say something else, something probably really stupid, when a voice calls behind you.

“Detka, there you are”

“Wanda? Hi, what are you doing here?” you step out of the room now, looking at your girlfriend. Wanda, however, is focused on the very attractive redhead that follows behind you, noticing you were alone seconds ago

“Am I interrupting something?” she says, eyes not leaving Natasha’s figure.

“What? No, this is Nat… eh, doctor Romanoff. She’s the doctor from Boston who is giving us the course” you explain, looking between both women. Natasha is the first one to give up the staring contest, extending her hand to Wanda.

“Nice to meet you. Y/N has told me so much about you and your boys”

“I’m happy to hear that”

Happy that you know she’s taken.

“So, uh… what are you doing here?” you ask, still thrown off by Wanda’s presence. Ever since Pietro was discharged, she has never been back to the hospital. If you recall correctly, she said she had enough of hospitals for a lifetime.

“I need to talk to you for a second. Alone”

��I’ll meet you in a second” you smile as Natasha walks back to the conference room and she nods. When you turn to Wanda she has a strange look in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“You never told me she was this pretty”

“Who?”

“Natasha”

“I didn’t notice” you mumble, scratching your neck. “And anyways, that’s not why you’re here, is it?”

“Right. I just… I wanted to apologize again for yesterday. And make sure we’re ok. I know these past few weeks have been hard. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had to come over and see you”

“Hey, we’re ok” you promise, pulling her by the waist. “I love you, you love me and we have a pretty nice family, don’t we? Even with stinky Pietro”

“I’m trying to convince him to shower daily” she laughs against your lips. It’s pretty clear that he was clean during his hospital days because he got sponge baths.

“It’s either that or hosing him down in the backyard”

“I’d like to see that” your girlfriend laughs and you take her hand, bringing it to your lips. “I’ll let you get back to work”

“Ok, if I can I’ll leave early” you kiss her cheek, squeezing her waist until you’re hand goes dangerously lower. “And maybe we can have some makeup sex”

“Mmhm you’d like that wouldn’t you” Wanda slaps your shoulder. “Go”

But as you wave goodbye and walk up to meet Natasha, Wanda doesn’t miss the look on the redhead's eyes.

She knows it, because it’s the same way Wanda looks at you. And that’s all it takes for her to decide, she doesn’t like the other woman.

—

It’s not as late as you thought, because when you get home everyone’s finishing dinner.

“She lives” Pietro says when you walk in.

“He bathes” you say, noticing his wet hair. “Did Wanda tell you I was going to hose you down?”

He doesn’t get to reply, because the kids jump in your arms.

“My stinky minions! Did you win the game today?”

“No, you have to come to the next one. You’re our lucky charm” Billy says.

“Pinky promise, I will come to the next one” you nod, moving to kiss Wanda. “Hey, gorgeous”

“Moya lyubov” she says and you smile, always loving that accent. “Come have dinner while the kids shower”

“Can you read us a story when you finish?” Tommy asks.

“Of course. Now go with Mom, I’ll be there as soon as I’m done”

The kids cheer as you get a plate and serve some delicious lasagna. Now you really don’t regret coming home early.

“Alright, I’m calling it a night. I’m exhausted” Pietro says.

“From showering?” you joke, but he fake laughs as he pushes his wheelchair away. “Leave your plate, I’ll clean it up”

“Thanks, sestra”

As you eat, you remember to send a text to Natasha, asking if she wants to have lunch with you tomorrow before she heads back to Boston for the rest of the week.

The kids are ready for bed and you walk upstairs, sitting between their beds and reading Dragon Feathers, which was your father’s favorite bedtime story to tell. Billy and Tommy laugh as you make different voices, the way your dad did when he told you the tale.

As soon as you’re done, they settle in bed, and Wanda’s the one who tucks them in, joining you at the door.

“I missed this” you say against her temple.

“I missed you” she agrees, leaning against your side. “Come to my study, I want to show you the drawings I made for the book”

The new working space was starting to grow on Wanda. Even if it was smaller, she had enough room to fit everything she needed, and her view was much better from the second floor.

You admire the sketches she hands you, looking at every detail and stroke of her pencil.

“Could I see you work one day? I don’t think I’ve ever done that, baby” you say, in awe of her talent.

“I don’t know, I might get too nervous”

“Please?” you pout, hoping that will change her mind. Wanda rolls her eyes and leans forward, standing on the tip of her toes to kiss you. Her movements turn more frantic and she catches you off guard when she pushes you against the small sofa, straddling your lap.

“Tell me more about her”

“About who?” you say, completely lost in the way her shirt strains against her breasts.

“That new doctor”

“Natasha?” you blink, trying to form a coherent thought. “Why?”

“Because. You’re working a lot, and apparently it’s next to a very beautiful woman whose name I hadn’t heard up until I saw you walking out of a room together”

“We were just talking” you mumble, more focused on undoing the buttons on Wanda’s shirt. She takes your wrists and pulls them away, forcing you to look up.

“I hope she knows your girlfriend is incredibly possesive and jealous” she whispers against your lips. “Or I might have to remind you who you belong to”

“I haven’t forgotten” you promise, looking at her lips intently.

“Then show me” Wanda says, her nails digging in your scalp. Whatever you were about to say dies in your lips as she kisses you, biting your lip and making you forget your name. You open your mouth, allowing her to explore it with her tongue and you carry her to the desk, pushing away everything so she can sit on it.

Wasting no time, Wanda holds her hips up so you can pull down her pants and underwear, and you kneel, moaning against her center when you begin to eat her out, desperate for her taste.

It feels like forever since you’ve had the chance to worship her body.

“That’s it” she moans as you bite the inside of her thigh, pleased with the way her legs close around your head. “I’m gonna…”

“Hold it”

“No, please”

“Did I fucking stutter? God, you are so impatient” you say, squeezing her throat as you move up, sliding two fingers inside her wet cunt. “Why can’t you just let me fuck you?”

“Oh, God” she says, getting wetter at your words.

“I think you’re the one who’s forgetting her place, baby” you say, hitting her G spot over and over until she can’t speak.

“Fuck” Wanda sighs, biting your neck as she finally gets her release. You kiss her, muffling her moans until her breathing evens out. “I missed that”

“Mhm” you smile, letting Wanda taste herself in your lips. “Come on. Let’s go to bed”

As you get changed and clean up, your phone pings several times.

“Work?” Wanda asks, but you’re smiling as you type.

“Huh? No, not work” is all you say, getting in bed and kissing Wanda. “Night, baby”

“Goodnight” she says, watching the screen of your phone light up again. You don’t notice because you’re already asleep, exhausted.

Wanda has to resist the urge to look at the text you just got.

You’ve never given her a reason to doubt you.

And yet, as she goes to bed, looking at your sleeping shape, Wanda can’t help but feel, there’s a part of you that’s not being honest.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Same as it ever was 14

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as neglect, bullying, manipulation, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Between your home life and work, you just can’t catch a break. Especially after you draw the ire of your boss.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen ft. Pete Brenner

Note: Happy Tuesday

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

“Promise, Pete, I’ll get her back in one piece,” Hansen vows with a wink and a nudge. 

You sit helpless in his passenger seat. He has one hand on the open door as he faces your husband. Pete won’t look at you but you can barely do the same of him. Funny, how you’re so eager to be away from him that you’re not even that bothered at the prospect of spending the day with your boss. 

“You’re a life saver. Really. Never had a boss that cool,” Pete says. 

“Well, you know, I gotta admit. Your wife carries a big load at work. She’s saved my ass more than once and she kinda holds the whole place together. I’m sure you know exactly what that’s like, huh?” Hansen proclaims. 

“Uh, yeah I do,” Pete has the decency to sound ashamed. It’s too bad he couldn’t have seen that years ago. 

“Lucky man. We’re gonna figure it out. She’s strong, we both know you can’t keep her down,” he clicks his tongue.  

“Right, uh, well, I could take her if it’s easier.” 

“What? Pete? You were just telling me about that big meeting. Good luck!” He slaps Pete’s shoulder. “You’ll have to bring us some good news.” 

“Uh, right,” Pete grumbles, “um, honey, I... I love you. I hope the doctor can help.” 

“Thanks,” you say curtly. “Don’t wanna be late.” 

“Gotta listen to the wife, right? Always knows best,” Hansen chortles. “Watch out, sweetheart, don’t wanna catch you.” 

He closes the door as you keep your head straight. Their voices are muffled and you’re thankful for the mental break. The two of them don’t stop. You don’t know how you didn’t see the similarities before. 

You close your eyes and Lloyd drops into the driver’s side. You don’t flinch. He turns the engine and you stay just as you are. He pulls out and the motion sends a ripple through you. The painkiller might have something to do with that. 

“So, the old man and you are... icy,” he says. 

“That’s personal.” 

“Well, baby cakes, think we’re well past blurring lines,” he scoffs. 

“What do you care?” 

“Hey, I’m not entirely heartless. My balls just happen to be more sensitive,” he snickers. “Trust me, I’m not getting sentimental. I want you back to operational. That means whatever stick is lodged up your ass needs to come out so mine can get in.” 

“Disgusting,” you growl. 

“Mm, please, talk dirty to me, baby,” he purrs. 

You snap your mouth shut and grimace. You can’t help but think of the night before. Of Pete all over you. Just like the man beside you, he didn’t listen either. Your own husband... 

“Jesus, I know you’re high on percs but try to lighten up,” he intones. 

You rub your cheek and pry your eyes open, “are you really taking me to a doctor?” 

“As much as I’d rather be taking you to a penthouse and breaking your back more than it already is, yes, I’m taking you for real help. I got a magic mustache and even better tongue but I can’t fix whatever the fuck happened to you,” he shakes his head. “And judging by the way that creature had his tail tucked up where his dick should be, I think he had something to do with it.” 

He sniffs and squints at the road. He gives a thoughtful hum. 

“Petey doesn’t seem like the wife beater type, but I guess-” 

“The fuck? He didn’t-- Argh!” You grip your hip and spasm as you tense at the accusation. “He didn’t... mean to. I slipped.” 

“Huh, dropped you? Man can’t handle all of you, can he?” 

“Hansen,” you warn. 

“I could give him some lessons, if you want.” 

“Stop, please. I’m already going insane with you--” 

“Oh, I know, I got that something that makes the ladies go wacky,” he preens. 

“Urgh, for the love--” 

“Relax. Please. You really can’t help yourself. You’re making it worse. Legit. You’re getting actually butthurt because you can’t let up for one minute,” he reprimands. “I’m dying to get in there and loosen you up but you gotta meet me halfway. So chill.” 

You growl but try to take his advice. The tension is too much. If you keep going on like this, something’s going to give. With what the doctor said about your blood pressure, it could even be your heart. 

You watch the road. It’s nice to not be in control. To not be taxiing someone around; to not be the one worried about time or anything. Still, it’s that underlying reality that keeps you edgy. 

Lloyd pulls in at a clinic on the north end. It’s the kind you could never afford. You’re pretty sure you get a free Costco membership just for being a patient. 

As he parks, you sit up. He tuts, “now, you let good old Lloyd help you with your broken tush, babykins.” 

You send him a derisive look but don’t argue. The painkiller is kicking in and makes even him tolerable. He gets out and you watch him come around. 

He opens your door and with uncharacteristic caution, slides his arm behind you. You lean on him as you stand. He’s actually helping you. Your back buckles but he keeps you steady. He closes the door with his other arm and ushers you slowly across the lot. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” You ask. 

“What?” He laughs. “I’m helping you, sweet cheeks.” 

“Exactly. You’re helping me. Why?” 

“I’ve been pretty honest how hungry I am for the peach,” he returns. 

“It can’t be just that.” you growl. “I’m not stupid.” 

“Oh, I know you aren’t. That’s half the fun. Easy enough to get a bimbo on my desk. Boring, now that I think of it--” 

You hiss and grab onto his forearm to keep from collapsing. You hate that you’re latching onto him for comfort. At that moment, you don’t have much else; in several ways. 

“Easy, alright,” he coaxes. “We’ll get you inside and sitting down. Hopefully it’s not as bad as it looks.” He whistles as he approaches the doors and kicks the automatic door button. “You’re looking rough.” 

“Gee, thanks, Hansen. You really know how to flatter a woman.” 

“More like flatten but we’ll get to that.” 

“Gah,” you snarl as he ushers you through the lobby. “You are the most vile man I’ve ever met.” 

“Ah, you really think so?” He angles you with him as he approaches the elevator and reaches to tap the button. “I don’t got a wife and kids at home waiting for me as I’m fucking the intern. Nah, I’m just tempting a working mom into adultery--” 

“Shut the fuck up!” You bark as the doors open. An elder woman is wheeled out at she sends you an appalled gape. Lloyd smiles and guides you into the elevator. 

“Not hard to piece together, you know?” 

“I’m telling you,” you warn him as the lobby is shut out by the metal doors. “It’s none of your business.” 

“It’s not and I don’t really care if Pete is boning the assistant he’s underpaying. But it explains a lot.” 

“Does it?” You snip. 

“Oh yeah. The way you leak like a faucet whenever I’m near for one--” 

“Gross.” 

“And the skill. Ma’am, I know you’ve been dreaming of it in that empty bed. The neglected wife, wiling away her spare hours, longing... well, here I am, baby, your knight in shining armour.” 

You whimper. The pain in your back is dull enough that you can bear it. It’s his needling that’s driving you up the wall. You need him to stop. You need everything to stop. You need one day when you’re not a plaything, not a wife, not a mom. 

“Keep sneering at me but we both know you came yesterday and it had nothing to do with the pills,” he taunts smugly. “So let me fix you up and I’ll give you all the Os you can handle.” 

🗄️

“It’s not a fracture,” the doctor turns away from the black and white images. “But I’m sure it hurts. You definitely bruised the bone but from what I can tell, your muscles are tight. It’s adding pressure to the trauma point. Pinching on a nerve or two.” 

You nod. It’s a relief that you didn’t break anything it’s not entirely great news. Lloyd turns away from the skeletal diagram on the table. “So, she’s fine?” 

“She’s in a lot of pain, isn’t she?” The doctor says. “She needs to go home. Relax. Sleep, if you can.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” He offers. “I really can’t stand to see her like this, doc. It makes me feel so powerless.” 

He touches his chest dramatically and you make a face.  

“Gentle massage. Just tender. Nothing to intense. Don’t push on anything,” he explains. “Warm bath if you can bear it, ice too. You said you have a support cushion?” You nod. “If you have to sit up, use it.” 

“I can handle that,” Lloyd drawls. “I can be gentle.” 

He smirks at you as you send him a sharp look. His lashes flick and his irises flare. You could punch him in the face and you think it would only egg him on. 

“Doc,” Lloyd nears him, “thanks. I owe ya. I’ll have a bottle of scotch sent to the practice.” 

“Just doing my job but I don’t mind a good cask-aged bottle.” 

“Consider it on its way,” Lloyd assures him and turns to you. 

You thank the doctor and let Lloyd help you off the bed. You don’t have the strength or energy to resist. It’s just the same as the last professional prescribed. Rest. You think he might just have to listen to the experts and give you a break. 

“Alright, let’s get you home, baby,” he cooes as you pass through the waiting room. You catch the glance of a woman who watches with envy as her husband slumps with arms crossed and resists a midday nap. If only she knew the type of man Lloyd truly is. 

He reclines the seat in the car for you. You close your eyes. The pills make you tired, just like everything else. 

The smooth motion of the car lulls you. You startle as you find yourself still. Lloyd lifts you from the seat and you spasm. You whimper and he clucks. 

“There ya go, making it all worse again,” he chides. 

You grab onto his shoulder. You can’t help but think of how Pete let you fall. You fear another crash down to earth. 

“I work out, baby face, don’t fucking worry,” he assures you. 

You furrow your brow and look around. You’re not in your neighbourhood. You thought he was taking you home. Instead, you’re staring up at one of those overpriced modern builds. 

“It’s glorious, isn’t it? The high life.” 

You don’t answer him. There’s nothing you could say that could convince him you’re not covetous, because you are. You could’ve gone down this road. You could’ve skipped the dry marriage and the fussy kids. 

That thought scourges you with guilt. You love your children and once upon a time you loved your husband too. It can’t be a mistake if it made you happy once. Simone and Malik still do make you happy. Hopeful, even. 

He brings you through the front door and strides into the airy front room. The windows stretch from ceiling to floor and let in the day. He lays you on the spacious sectional, the cushions wide enough for two, and he drags a pillow over for you. 

You close your eyes, content to just be in one place. 

He tugs your shirt up and exposes your stomach. You tug it back down and your lashes snap open. He tilts his head at you. 

“Baby, I’m helping.” 

“Leave it,” you warn. 

“What’s the problem? I saw it all before.” 

You glare at him. The problem is it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need to gawk at you. He doesn’t need to count the ways you can’t compare to Kendra and those other pretty interns. Just like the one your husband is fucking. 

“Leave that at the goddamn door,” he says as if he can read your mind. 

He yanks again and you relent. Whatever. You’re just something to be used. For Pete, you’re a dishwasher and a laundry machine. For Lloyd, you’re a piece of flesh and fodder for his twisted ego games. 

He undresses you with a tenderness so unlike him. His hands rove up and down your body with each piece he removes. When you’re completely exposed, you cover yourself futilely with your hands. He tweaks your nipple then toys with it. 

“Gotta turn you over,” he winks. “My favourite position.” 

“You can’t--” 

“Relax, I’m not gonna finish the job,” he taps your thigh. 

He helps you shift onto your side. You groan and grunt with the effort. You hug one of the cushions and lean onto it, your back to him. He flutters his fingers down your side and goosebumps rise over your skin. 

You shiver and he chuckles, “feels nice, huh? See, I can be a good boy.” 

You don’t reply. You close your eyes and cling to the strands of delight. That relief is so fleeting. He drags his fingers up and down and around your lower back. He sweeps around your hip and retraces the same path. Your muscles quiver but unwind. 

“That’s it,” he encourages you. 

You moan as the heat of his fingers seeps into you. It’s nice. You haven’t feel this placid in so long. Your head stirs and your limbs slacken. You forget the world and just let yourself be in that feeling. 

His hand creep along the back of your thigh then between your legs. He wiggles between them and you flinches. He pushes against your slit and rubs the side of his index against your clit. 

“Hansen,” you rasps. 

“Shhhh,” he hushes you. “Doctor’s orders. You need to relax.” 

[slamminslamminmcgill]

hiiii uhhh joel drabble based on my daddy dick appointment yesterday

warning: rimming, intox (poppers and weed), oral, squirting, erectile dysfunction (real old man dick enjoyers know wassup), toys, overstimulation, daddy kink obvs

anatomical terms: cunt/pussy, clit/cock/dick

It’s not that you had daddy issues.

Or that he had a framed picture of him and his daughter on the shelf.

Or a throw pillow with the word DAD sewn onto it, clutched against your chest as he messily ate you out on the leather sectional in his one bedroom apartment.

No, he was just hot. A hot older guy that hit you up on Grindr for the ol' smoke and poke, a quick hit of some blunt and cunt. That’s it. That’s all this was.

He was just a hot older guy, and nothing more.

Not a daddy.

The picture of his daughter was not staring you down while you blew him, much too rigorously for his liking.

“Easy, easy there, easy. Slow down, baby. I don’t wanna cum yet. Just- Just lick my balls for a little bit. Nice and slow, good boy.”

You did as he said, slithering your tongue across and smothering your face in his massive balls, trying and failing to fit even just one in your mouth. You did not want to think about how that girl in the picture frame was once swimming around in them.

And you definitely were not wondering if his daughter’s mother ever ate his ass out like this. With how tense he was, you figured probably not, but he opened up beautifully once you lubed up your fingers. Hell, he even took that buttplug like a champ.

“Oh, Jesus Christ… Ngh…”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good… Just gotta… Mmm, just gotta get used to it, sweetness.”

Maybe his ex was kinky. Maybe she’d been the first one to touch his prostate. Or maybe it was his doctor just a couple weeks ago. Maybe it’d been revelation, divine knowledge bestowed to him while bent over on the exam table, and he’d been experimenting ever since, trying to make lightning strike twice.

You were not trying to guess whether he was divorced, a widower, or a cheater. Hopefully not the third, because nothing will kill an orgasm faster than a vengeful spouse and a loaded handgun. But hey, that’s not your problem. Not yet, at least, and hopefully not ever.

Just a hot older guy. Decades of experience, and it showed. He surely knew his way around a pussy, liquid proof dripping from his mustache. He knelt down in front of you once more, hoisted your legs onto his shoulders, and yanked your butt off the edge of the couch.

“Got the poppers, bud? Y’wanna hold ‘em up for me?”

You uncapped and held the small bottle to his nostril and watched him take a five second inhale, then a breath, and another five second inhale.

Fuck, he was hot.

You barely had time to bring the poppers to your own face before his went down. His tongue pressed and flicked, swirled and licked your fattened clit. Two long fingers shoved up your pussy, and one snuck up your ass, all three reaching much deeper than you could do yourself. They pumped in time with his mouth, at first. Steady, deliberate motions intended to open you up for something more. He rose to his feet, bringing your legs up with him, and feverishly pumped his half-hard cock. Brows knit in unwavering focus as he tried to get it all the way up.

“Shit… won’t stay up. Hol’ on. Where’s the damn…?”

He grabbed a rubber ring off the coffee table and slid it onto his cock, tugging his heavy balls through the loop. You watched, entranced, having no frame of reference for what that might feel like. You tried to imagine it on your own cock: a tight pinch, forcing all that blood into it, all that pressure. It sounded heavenly on its own, but to be fair, you had much less dick to fill. The ring seemed to be doing the trick for him, though. He finally got it up, poked it against your cunt, and shoved it in. No time to waste, and no time to adjust before he started coring you out on the couch.

For about three thrusts, and then he fell out.

“Son of a… Fuck it.”

In a fit of sexual frustration, he fell to his knees and plunged his face into your pussy once more. All tact and any shred of restraint he had left was gone. He was an animal, and devoured you as such. He sucked your tiny dick up into his mouth, tugging at it like he was trying to tear it off. The three fingers went back into your holes as if they'd never left, finding your sweet spots in a matter of seconds. He jackhammered them, forcing you to bear a ruthless, brutal onslaught of pleasure. The speed had your entire body shaking, even down to your voice.

"F-F-F-u-u-u-u-u-c-k-k, o-o-h-h-h-h, y-y-y-e-e-e-e-e-s-s-s..."

It sounded like you were moaning into a desk fan, the sobs of ecstasy being intercepted by his hand. His wrist did not falter, not for a moment. Not even when every jab of his fingers got him splashed with cum. Every. Jab. You honestly didn't even know you could physically squirt this much. Hell, you couldn't stop squirting. Not that you'd want to, but still. He just took it on the chin, quite literally, snarling with sadistic satisfaction as he drank it all down. When his thirst was finally quenched, he pulled back, his face glistening with your juices.

"Sorry I couldn't get hard, darlin'. I dunno if it was the poppers or the pot or what... Usually doesn't happen to me."

The fuck? The man sucks your soul out of your body, gives you an industrial-strength orgasm, and the first word out of his mouth is sorry? Your cunt was still buzzing a good 30 seconds after he stopped and he thinks to apologize? Is this guy for real? You shut that shit down right away.

"No, no, no, oh my god, you're... you're fine, don't worry... Shit... That was... You're fucking amazing... Thank you..."

"Aw, pleasure's all mine, sugarplum. You taste fuckin' incredible, y'know. I could-"

*RING*

"Shit, it's my daughter. I gotta take this."

Saying the quiet part out loud, it seems.

[restinslices]

ALRIGHT ENOUGH ANGST MY HEARTS DEALT WITH ENOUGH 😭 CAN I REQUEST THE LIN KUEI BOYS TAKING CARE OF A SICK READER?

I also got another fluff request but for Kitana. Y’all make me sick, I could just BAFFGSGTGSGG (me vomiting cause y’all don’t wanna be depressed). Using stupid pictures because I don’t think I have for them yet.

Bi-Han

The haters will try to convince you that Bi-Han wouldn’t give a fuck. That he’d tell you to walk it off or some other mean shit 

I encourage you to ignore them

Bi-Han is snippy but y’all let’s be fr, he’s an older brother. He’s the older brother. He’s definitely been forced to take care of his brothers 

As the oldest brother he’s always had to do shit for his brothers so this is not his first rodeo 

If it’s something small and you’re in the middle of something, like a mission, he’d encourage you to pull through. If you’re not in the middle of something then he’d take care of you 

A small illness can become bigger so he makes sure to address it right away

He knows random remedies you’ve never heard of. Jump down, turn around, pop your ass, swallow a lemon and now you’re ok

You’d recover way quicker with him watching over you 

And if I said he makes you meals will y’all boo me for making him soft?! Idc.

Once again, he’s the oldest. I’m the youngest so I’ve seen how much weight the older ones gotta carry. He for sure knows how to do things like cook, clean, take care of sick people, ect. 

He makes these heavenly soups and just like that, your sore throat is gone 

Soups, teas, a nice healing stew, he’s on it

If you have body aches, he makes you do certain stretches 

You swear this man knows witchcraft because everything he suggests works 

Obviously if you’re heating up he’ll put his hand on you. We knew this was coming.

He’d prefer you to use an ice pack or use a cold rag but let’s be real, you’re not gonna do that when you could just cling onto him 

The best doctor the Lin Kuei has ever seen even if he won’t admit it

The strongest of illnesses mean nothing to him. He’s gonna get the job done 

Kuai Liang

Also a good nurse

He’d ask Bi-Han for some help when it comes to soups and shit. Kuai Liang can cook but he recognizes that Bi-Han got a magic touch 

If you’re in the middle of a mission and feel unwell, he wouldn’t tell you to stop what you’re doing but he has you doing less. He’ll have you behind him and would suggest you to do simple things, like keeping watch 

If you’re not on a mission then he’d pay more attention. You expect that Bi-Han would have you wait and Kuai Liang would treat you right away but I think it’s the opposite. Bi-Han being the caregiver knows how annoying it is to take care of someone really sick (which could have been prevented) and Kuai Liang is the younger sibling who would put off mentioning his illness 

He’d have you track your symptoms at first to see if it’s something serious or something a quick nap could fix 

Lingers around you to make sure you’re ok

Cooks you warm meals if you’re cold but if you’re warm he’ll give you cold liquids 

You can’t sneakily miss taking your medication cause he’s on your ass. Probably has an alarm set and everything 

If you’re overly warm he won’t be all on you because he’s warm, but if you want physical touch he’ll let you hold his pinkie 

Bi-Han gives you remedies even if they taste absolutely vile but I think Kuai Liang would try to give you remedies that don’t taste that bad 

Has you laying down a lot so you can recover quicker. If you have no responsibilities to tend to he’s not letting you get up 

You’ll have to convince him to let you do things like, oh idk, walking around? I have the flu, I’m not dying 

When you start to recover then he lets you move around like normal. He just doesn’t want you exerting yourself and getting worse 

Tries to find out if there’s a certain thing you were exposed to that got you sick so it doesn’t happen again

Tomas Vrbada

Similar to Kuai Liang in the sense that if you’re on a mission he’ll want you to do less intense things, like keeping watch 

He constantly asks if you’re ok and what your symptoms are 

If it was up to him, you’d be sent back home immediately. You’re just gonna get worse and you probably can’t focus 

If you have nothing to do then he’s basically right on top of you

I feel like he has random thoughts he doesn’t want to have and he makes himself paranoid. He’s the type to google his symptoms and legit starts to think he has cancer because WebMD said so

He also thinks out loud so he’s the type to say “what if you’re dying?… that actually wasn’t appropriate. I’m sorry”

Nah, you gotta move now Tomas 

Because of his paranoia he’s constantly checking up on you 

Kuai Liang but worse because you can convince him to let you move like a normal person but that’s not happening with Tomas 

Becomes your nurse and your butler because he’s doing everything for you 

Cooking? He got it. Making tea? He got it. Making sure you take your meds? He got it. Grabbing a cup of water? He got it. Wanna walk to the bathroom? He got strong arms-

He’s neither hot nor cold so feel free to snuggle next to him 

His brothers are soup kind of guys but I think he’s more oatmeal and tea 

Also tries to give you better tasting medicine but sometimes you just gotta thug it out 

If a mission comes up but you’re still sick, he will not let you attend at all 

Constantly drying your blankets so they can be extra warm if you’re cold 

Distracts you by talking about random shit

Only convinced you’re not dying when you’re no longer sick

He’s on your ass 24/7 but it’s Tomas so who’s complaining?

This is not me turning over a new leaf. If I think of something sad, y’all WILL hear about it💕

[sunshineting]

plug eren bf heafcanons?? ;)

Plug!Eren bf headcanons 😘

-after y’alls first “smoke session” you never pay for weed again. He literally won’t let you. 

-tbh he didn't make it official until he saw you on campus getting a little too close to one of your class friends

↑You were just talking to Armin about the essay that was due soon. Nothing nefarious. So maybe Armin had a crush on you, but you didn’t know that. You’d been friends for a while, so you didn’t think much of it when Armin said that you had an eyelash on your cheek and he would get it for you. Eren was just coming out of his business management class when he saw you. Rather, he saw some blond boy gently grabbing your face with one hand and wiping your cheek with the other. Needless to say, he took you to his apartment and fucked some sense into you. He had you on your back with your knees pressed against your tits. The man had you folded like a lawnchair and somehow expected you to respond. “Don’t let that dork ass boy touch what's mine. You’re my girl. I don’t give a fuck what label you gotta call it. My woman, my girlfriend, my bitch. You’re mine, you’re all fucking mine, you hear me?” He says while he pounds into you. You’re too fucked out to even comprehend what he’s saying. All you can do is let out a breathy ‘uh-huh’ as your eyes roll back.

-he rarely calls you by your name, it's always ‘pretty, mama, babygirl’

-Eren likes getting you expensive gifts. Once, he got you a white gold and diamond anklet with an E charm. He likes to see it when he puts you in a mating press

-if you’re out with him, there’s a good chance you’ll have to ride with him while he does business. After you make some offhand remark about his crazy ‘work’ hours he replied, “I’m like a doctor, baby, I get called in when my patients need me”

-if you’re reading, either for a class or for fun, he always comes up behind you and kisses the top of your head before rubbing your shoulders, giving you mini massage

-he LOVES taking you to parties and showing you off. You were never really a party girl (hello social anxiety) but his presence made you so comfortable and safe that you started to like going to parties with him

-teaches you how to roll blunts and eventually almost always has you roll for him. He says they’re always sweeter when you do it ♡

I hope you like it! this is my first anon hehe

[nightlilly0110]

I have not paid attention to My Hero Academia in ages. It got boring for me, I especially didn’t really like the “yes and” sort of fights they were doing where it was like “oh no he’s dead, oh wait no he’s not, and he also has gotten stronger and has somehow developed more powers” (I’m staring so hard at Dabi vs Shouto and Dabi spontaneously developing an ice quirk after having his ass beat multiple times already).

Anyway. Regardless on me having issues with that, because I know that when your main villain’s power is All Of Them, you gotta shove a whole lot of shit into your grand act, your finale.

The story of My Hero Academia did a really good job at pointing out all the flaws in hero society. Everyone wants the prestige with becoming a hero so they gotta limit it to people who have a strong enough power to get into hero schools, specifically the hero track. Not all heroes are good people and it’s dangerous to blindly give out this status as a top member of society. Not all villains are inherently evil - as the manga states, all it takes is one bad day. Racism, abuse, and mental health issues are overlooked because it happens to the people on the bottom rung. It’s realistic. It’s great. It gets the point across that this world isn’t as fantastic as it first seemed.

And then all of that immediately gets undercut by the reveal that Everything in the manga is AFO’s fault. He gave Shigaraki Decay and groomed him, he’s the one who caused the surge in crime and the anti-mutant rhetoric. They establish him as born evil, as the devil incarnate, that he has always been this way and will never change. I expected that he would never have redemption and is beyond saving, but to say he was Born Evil contradicts the “one bad day” narrative that is literally on the first page of Volume 24.

Gonna Devil’s Advocate myself for a second. I think the idea that AFO being irredeemable and going against the “one bad day” narrative would have been a great contrast to Shigaraki and the rest of the LOV.

Here’s the but.

They also go on to imply that Everything Will Be Okay As Long As We Kill AFO. Since he’s the Root Of All Evil, if they kill him, everything will be 100% perfect and nothing will be Evil or Wrong or Bad ever again.

Please hear my sarcasm. That’s unfortunately not how systemic racism, classism, abuse, or any other social issues work. They unfortunately do not vanish because you get rid of one guy. It’ll definitely help consider AFO won’t be around to fuck shit up, but it’s not a be all end all situation.

Additionally, having all of this realistic worldbuilding and establishing all the problems in this hero society, having testimonies from the villains and from Deku himself that if you are different you will suffer, and then turning it around and going “actually it wasn’t the system, the system it’s fine, it’s just this one dickhead lol” fucking sucks. Okay yeah, it’s cool to see all the ways AFO was pulling the strings behind everything and manipulating society how he wanted it, but it seemed very shoehorned in???? We see some glimpses of his control of resources with the Nomu labs and the implications of using doctors to scope out good quirks to use, but we spent too little time on that other than focusing on Kurogiri.

Moving on to the spoilers I saw today for the most recent chapter. Deku’s motivations have always been “I want to be able to save as many people as I can, just like All Might.” He’s stated many times throughout the last few fights that he wants to be able to reach Tenko - not Tomura, but Tenko - and this is the end he gets?????

Liberties with the translations as it’s not official but like. Come on.

“I’m a crying brat just like you said.” We established a long time ago that Shigaraki fights because he wants to build a better world for him and his friends. While he might have been a “crying brat” in his first few appearances, he hasn’t been that way in literal years. Deku calling him this (which I can’t find a good image of, sorry) goes against his entire character. He’s not a brat. He has reasons to do what he does.

“I wanted to stop you because you wanted to be stopped.” Stopped, not saved.

“So your sadness wouldn’t be passed on.” What Deku is saying here is that he is acknowledging that Shigaraki was wronged, but he isn’t going to do anything for him other than stop him (kill him) because he was hurting other people. Again, reminder, this was the kid that wanted to save as many people as he can, and Shigaraki wasn’t past saving. What was the point of emphasizing that Tenko was still a part of him that existed if you were going to kill them both?

We also don’t know what happened to the other villains as of right now. None of their statuses have been confirmed, but they’re presumed to be dead. None of them got their happy ending. None of them even got a good ending. None of them have the closure that their injustices were wronged. None of them have the closure that they left this world in good hands for other people like them. They just died.

So who exactly are we saving? What’s the point?

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

*harvey bullock's voice* : batman an' that scarecrow guy are in cahoots! i'm tellin' ya! the vigilante an' that fruitcake totally have somethin' nasty goin' on!

bullock ships it know whats up. meanwhile, gordon is like 🤷‍���️ 'idk, they look like sworn enemies to me'. so what if batman apprehends him very weirdly.

...

(one of very lovely an’ endearing btas crane’s features for me, always gonna be how he’s a complete twerp compared to his comic counterparts. he’s not only hella scrawny, but he’s also pretty short too.

comic crane build like a pencil compared to bruce, but btas jon is this, but a small version. a real gremlin, where in the comics, he's a goblin.

him being smaller have it's +. for one, he's easier to throw around an’ manhandle. or in this case, i kinda just thought ‘hey, bruce will have no problem to just place him in his laps’. jonathan is cuddly sized for the bat. gotta abuse this advantage to the max. he can catch him this way, or can hold him too… 

an’ look at that, it might lead to one of those few *rare, very rare* times, when jon will attempt to be comforting. he sucks at this, but he does show a shine of sympathy, if he's in the mood for that. but yeah, he would only do it, when batman is all sad an’ down. if he was scared, it’s another story. 

depressed bat makes crane feel some sort of way he hates. he won’t dare to call it anything, but he would rather them do smth less…..this. being held is nice tho. so he tolerates it, telling himself that it's fine just this one time. but then, casually tolerates *basks in* it every damn time from that point on, while using the same excuse… 

he can be regal like that lol.  

an’ speaking of regal…….

i always loved, when the bat tried to catch the scarecrow for a second time in ‘nothing to fear’, an’ jon talks to him in an odd manner. almost like a teacher would speak with a student. bruce’s slightly shameful an’ vulnerable expression is everything in that scene, esp when jon stands on the upper row of stairs looking at him. the tides shift later on, naturally. but even as a kid, it was fun to see batman being kinda humbled by some short, weird guy in a potato sack. 

like, jon is so funnily rude an’ ‘argh’ through the whole ep, it’s hard not to cherish, that batman had to put up with it. the way jonathan abused his henchmen is also smth else. he literally re-broke the dude's nose, while calling him names lol. i just wish, that besides ‘lock up’, we had managed to see other sides of him, which clearly existed. love him being a rude ass almost all the time too tho, bc it suits him. an’ it’s a fun difference compared to comic crane, whose spitefulness is usually more emotionally loaded an’ childish. btas crane feels like a proper antisocial sociopath, than anythin’. but like any good sociopath, he has that one person, who he fancy *even if in a strange fashion*. so, batman has a chance to see it all, once he gets past the cold shoulder phase. 

in their case *btas universe*, i picture that jon’s wary ‘get out of my way’ fashion in which he deals with bruce, would essentially build up into proper obsession, where terrifying him is less of a curious experiment an’ method of eliminating him, but also like….he legit wanna know what batman fears. what he sees. how jon affects him an' if it affects his every-day life. fights with him getting more personal an' more crucial.

from that bit, i was wondering what jonathan might have thought about times, when batman hung out with justice league. an’ if there was a villain, who he would feel envious of. an’ idk, doctor destiny came to mind. he’s not like fear-themed villain even per say, but he can control dreams, which is scary in itself. so jon *naturally for him* assuming that dr. destiny went after batman’s fears an’ gave him nightmares. which would instantly make him possessive an’ jealous lol. it’s his an’ bat’s thing! it fully escapes crane, that batman…doesn't ever prefer whatever villain he's fighting. not in way, where he thinks that he bonds with them over being tormented lol. i mean, he kinda does it with jonathan to a degree, but he'd rather they did it in more normal way.

regardless, bruce will have to tell him, that nope, like dr. destiny totally sucks compared to the scarecrow. mostly bc if he won’t, jon might make so, that dr. destiny won’t breathe air ever again lol.)

[thee-ghosty]

Snippet #8

part 2 part 3

Civilian couldn’t have possibly predicted that just 40 minutes after their shift at the local bar, they would be covered in blood, have a random stranger in a mask bleeding out on their couch, and frantically looking up how to stop blood loss. 

They expected today to be just like every other day of their boring life. They passed by one of the alleys on their normal route home when a loud crash stopped them in their tracks. They could have ignored it and not gotten into this mess, but they had a vendetta against common sense, so naturally they had to go see what happened. A few moments later, they were arguing with a stranger, bleeding profusely onto the concrete, about getting them to a hospital. The stranger were adamant that they would be fine, they just needed to get home…which was on the complete other side of town. More bickering ensued before they settled on the current situation; Civilian nursing an almost dead person back to life. 

Civilian’s eyes frantically dragged across the computer screen until an answer popped up. 

“Apply direct pressure on the cut or wound with a clean cloth, tissue, or piece of gauze until bleeding stops. If blood soaks through the material, don't remove it. Put more cloth or gauze on top of it and continue to apply pressure.”

“Okay…okay. I can do this. I got this. Right.” Civilian muttered under their breath.

This was absolutely insane, they knew that and they were a breath away from having a panic attack, but they pressed on nonetheless. They rushed to the bathroom to get towels, some painkillers and a bottle of water before returning to the masked stranger on their couch. Their breath was shallow, but they were still awake. That’s a good sign, right? Civilian questioned. The stranger’s hands still covered over the wound, red slowly dripping through their fingers. 

“You need to move your hands, alright? I gotta cover the wound.” Civilian said with a quiver in their voice.

The stranger slowly shifted their hands away from their side, exposing the extent of the damage. It was a miracle that Civilian hadn't passed out from the sight. They had no idea how deep the wound was, but the amount of blood seeping through the person’s suit and into Civilian’s couch made them wonder how this person was still breathing.

The stranger hissed as Civilian placed the soft towel to their side, hoping they were applying enough pressure. Hell, hoping anything they were doing would actually help. What would they do if the stranger dies? In their apartment no less? 

They pushed the dread from their mind and thought of how they were going to get the blood out of everything. The towels they could wash, but the couch might not be salvageable...Wait. That's not important right now. Focus, Civilian. They mentally told themselves.

“I have some painkillers. Here, let me-”

“Painkillers won’t do shit.” The stranger said through gritted teeth.

"I mean, anything at this point will help. You might feel better if you would just let me take you to a hospital-”

“No.” 

“Why not? You have a problem with doctors or something?” Civilian questioned, frustration slipping into their voice. 

“No, they have a problem with me.” They replied. 

Civilian huffed. On the cusp of death and they're still acting like an ass. Maybe they should’ve left them in that alley after all. Civilian pressed harder, causing the stranger to grunt out in pain. They shot Civilian a fiery look. 

“Oh, did that hurt?” Civilian asked with faux sympathy, “I’m sorry my bedside manner isn’t up to your standards.”

“I didn’t ask for your help, you know. I would’ve been fine.”

“Oh, so I was supposed to leave you there to die? Yeah, no. That wasn’t going to happen.” 

The stranger looked at Civilian with pinched brows. “Why do you care anyway?”

Civilian held their gaze before shifting back to their hands, trying to figure out why they did care. “I guess it’s just human instinct. We don’t like to see people suffer.” 

The stranger scoffed at Civilian’s words. “Yeah, just like humans don’t mind hunting down their own kind for sport.” 

Civilian gave them a quick glance before placing another cloth over the now soaked through towel. “Can you say anything that isn’t angsty? Or is that a part of your ‘character’?” 

“Character?” The stranger asked, sounding almost offended. 

“You know, the mask and the costume. Is that character super edgy or do you talk like this all the time?”

Something stilled in the stranger, their eyes sharpening as they stared at Civilian. “You don’t know who I am, do you?” They asked slowly. 

“No…am I supposed to? I’m not super into comics or anything like that, so I probably wouldn’t know even if you tell me.” Civilian replied nonchalantly. 

“Does the name Venraire sound familiar to you?”

Civilian paused. Venraire was a big crime boss that caused mass destruction to the city a few years ago. Even though he was brought to justice, nothing could’ve made up for all the lives lost to him. Civilian slowly looked to the stranger, their heart thumping louder in their chest. A small smile traced the stranger’s lips, a darkness coming to their eyes. 

“He’s my father."

Oh shit.

To be continued...

[eadanga]

Royal Love Part 22

Summary: Now 18 Eleanor heads to her first year of college and falls for a handsome musician. Can she keep her royal secret be with her true love?

A/N: This series is for @kingliam2019 one of 500 followers giveaway winners 

Liam and Eleanor rode in the car back to campus as Eleanor looks out the window and sees Cole sitting by himself on a bench her eyes go wide as she ducks down

“What’s the matter?”

“That’s him dad”

Liam looks and he frowns as he clenches his fists “I wanna go talk to him”

“No dad you want everyone on campus to see you?”

Liam sighs “I’m sorry I got worked up just seeing him knowing he hurt you it just angers me”

“I know dad” She sighs “I gotta give him space like he asked if I’m so pushy he’ll be angry with me”

Liam places his hand on hers smiling “You know your mother is coming as well”

“She is?”

“You wouldn’t believe what happened when I told her”

“Tell me”

“Well it was after I got off the phone with you…”

****

Liam runs his fingers through his hair as he dials on his phone “Get the car and plane ready I gotta get somewhere fast”

“Yes your majesty”

Liam heads to the bedroom and begins putting clothes in a suitcase

MC walks in sighing “Finally got her to sleep I know she’s gonna wake up soon and” She notices him packing “Liam where are you going?”

“Love Eleanor needs me”

“Liam” MC narrows her eyes “Now look our daughter is becoming an adult you can’t run over there for every little”

“This is not a small issue” Liam takes her hand and sits on the bed with her “She’s had her first heart break”

MC’s eyes widen “What happened?”

“She told him everything about herself and us”

“What did he say?”

“He needed time but Eleanor said the look on his face”

MC shoots up from the bed “I’m gonna see her”

“No love you gotta stay here with Alex and Bella”

“Don’t try to stop me Liam our daughter is hurt and I’m gonna go kick the ass of the guy who hurt her make sure that no doctor alive will be able to fix what I do to him!”

Liam grabs her arm as he chuckles “My love if you’re gone and I’m gone who’s gonna watch the kids and not to mention I don’t want you in jail”

“It’ll be worth it and they wouldn’t put the queen in jail would they?”

Liam chuckles “A queen who broke the law I’m sure they would besides Bella needs you she’s a newborn and who’s gonna keep Alex out of trouble”

MC sighs “You’re right ok until I find a babysitter I’ll stay but soon I do I’m gonna see her”

“Deal my queen”

****

Eleanor looks at Liam shocked “Wow I didn’t know mom could get so angry”

“Never seen her that mad before she’s usually so calm”

Eleanor smiles “I’m glad you guys are worried about me”

“Of course we are you’re our child no matter how old you get you’ll still be our child”

“Thanks dad now when’s mom arriving?”

“Tomorrow she’ll be here she just needs to get some things”

They arrive back at campus and head back to their dorm Marissa grins as she meets them “You two were gone for so long I thought I was gonna have to send a rescue party after you”

Eleanor giggles “Or you could have called or texted”

“And interrupt your daddy daughter moment no way”

Liam chuckles then he sighs “Eleanor there’s something I need to tell you”

“What is it?”

“Well over the summer you’re gonna have to learn the ways of the crown”

Eleanor sighs “I knew that was coming it’s gonna be royal summer school”

Liam smiles “Don’t worry I won’t make it as boring as mine was I’ll do my best to make it fun”

“And if you ever need breaks just call me and I’ll be there” Marissa looks at Liam hopeful “I can be there right?”

Liam chuckles “Of course you can and after this whole royal crown you’re gonna be the official princess of Cordonia”

“I thought I already was”

“Not until you complete the schooling I wanted to tell you but your mother didn’t want it to get into your head”

Eleanor laughs “She really thinks I’ll be like these stuck up nobles”

Liam chuckles “No but she wanted you to grow up and be a normal kid”

“So does she get a coronation?”

Liam nods “Yes she does”

Marissa grabs Eleanor’s hands “Can I be your stylist for that?!”

Eleanor laughs “Yes you can”

“Yay! Oh I can’t wait for this”

Liam smiles “You know if you want you can come with us and attend college in Cordonia”

Marissa’s eyes go wide “Me? Oh no I couldn’t afford that”

“Well I’ll sponsor you I mean once Eleanor has her coronation…” He looks over at her “Well I’m sure you know”

“I have to stay in Cordonia permanently and attend school there”

Liam nods “So why not have your friend here and she’ll be sponsored so her family won’t have to pay a thing”

“That means I can never leave Eleanor” Marissa grins “Yes! Omg thank you Liam!”

Eleanor grins “Thank you dad! You’re the best”

“I try I would never want to separate you from your friend”

Marissa jumps up “Oh I can’t wait to tell my family this they’re gonna be so excited”

Liam calls after her “Don’t tell them everything!”

“Got it! I’ll say it’s a scholarship!”

Eleanor hugs Liam “Thank you dad”

“Anything for my princess”

Eleanor sighs “But what about”

“You mean that Cole guy well there’s still time to tell him”

Eleanor nods “Yes I know…” But it’s reaction I’m afraid of

Tags: @choicesgodfanatic @indiacater @gkittylove99 @the-soot-sprite @iaminlovewithtrr @princess-geek @kingliam2019

[pnf-n-mcu-is-life]

Marvel Quotes I liked (gonna gradually add)

Avengers, Age of Ultron:

Strucker: “Keep going.” 

Agent: “But sir, They’re the avengers!”Literally two seconds later: 

Strucker: “No surrender!” *Turns to person* “I will surrender.” 

Nat: Could someone help with the bunker? Hulk: literally runs through the bunker, breaking it

Nat: thanks.

Tony, as the science dork he is: please be a secret door, please be a secret door, please be a secret door, yay! 🎉 

Scott, in Tony’s suit, instructing The Ants tm

Tony: who’s speaking???? 

Scott: it’s your conscience. We don’t talk a lot these days.

WandaVision: 

Ep. 5

Vision, turning back into human Vision: oh, Agnes, I was just fluffing this pillow, with my,….face. 

Ep. 6, Halloween:

Vision: *makes a pose like he’s about to shoot an arrow* I smell crime…

Darcy: Hey, there he is. The guy who almost got murdered by his own murder squad.

Director Hayward: You work for me?

Darcy: I actually don’t know.

Monica: *sighs*

Ep. 7, Breaking the fourth wall/ Wanda is having an existential crisis: 

Wanda: Look, we’ve all been there, right? Letting our fear and anger get the best of us, intentionally expanding the borders of the false world we created.

Billy: Do we have to go, Mom? Someone needs to be here to take care of you.

Agnes: Don’t worry, I don’t bite! 

…I actually did bite a kid once.

Ep. 8, Previously on:

Agnes/atha: C’mon. *Going to see Wandas worst memories*

Wanda: No.

Agnes/atha: Did you forget who’s got your kids locked away in her bewitched basement?

Dr. Strange:

Some bad guy: Mr. Strange…

Stephen: Doctor.

Guy: Mr. Doctor?

Stephen: It’s Strange.

Guy: Yes, I know that it’s strange.

Iron Man 2: 

Coulson, walking in: We need you for something.

Pepper: Oh hi Phil!

Tony: His name is Agent.

Spider-Man, FFH:

Peter: I-I can’t do this! I’m just your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.

Fury: Bitch, you been to space.

Peter: Wha-no- that was by accident!!

Fury: Too Bad.

Spider-Man, NWH:

Norman Osborn: Where exactly are we?

MJ, to the villains trapped in the sanctum: You’re in a wizard’s basement. 

Otto: What?

MJ: There’s no way to sugarcoat this. You’re trapped in a wizard’s basement.

 Tobey’s Peter: okay, Peter 3.

Andrew’s Peter: What? I thought I was Peter 2.

Tom’s Peter: Okay, okay. You’re Peter 2 (Tobey) and you’re Peter 3 (Andrew).

Green Goblin: *stabs Peter 2*

Peter 3: You okay?

Peter 2: Yeah, I’ve been stabbed before.

Peter 3: Ok, good good good.

[Just-the Peters. They’re so…brother. Y’know? And I live for it.

Also, I have resorted to calling Tom’s Peter Peter-Man.]

Wakanda Forever:

Riri: If we could find a way to dry his ass out, he won’t be as strong.

Shuri: Yo, that’s it.

Deadpool:

Wade, counting the bullets he has left while shooting people: 7, shit. 6, fuck, 5, shit-fuck.

Ant-Man and The Wasp, Quantumania:

Scott: You gotta jump and tap. *Knocks out a few people* See that?

Cassie: No, you were like, this small.

[WHY DOES REALISTIC MODOK LOOK LIKE THAT AhhhHHHHhhHHH]

Hawkeye:

Kate: Hey look, that one’s you. *points to Avenger cosplayers*

Clint: No, that’s Katniss Everdeen. Now, let’s go.

Jack: The secret to a good risotto is to…agitate it. Just enough.

Kate: So, how exactly?

Clint: *flashbacks to explosion after explosion* …

Guy with a thick accent who kiddnapped Clint: Kate Bishop is guy, bro.

Clint: Kate Bishop is not guy.

Guy: Kate BIshop is guy in costume.

Clint, Karen Edition: Can I speak to your manager? This is like talking to furniture.

Gotg Vol. 3

Peter: People on Earth die when they’re like, 50.

Mantis: They die when they’re 50???

P: I dunno, something like that.

M: What’s even the point of being born?

P: Exactly! [You good dude]

M: Are you about to die?

P, shocked: I’m not 50!

Mantis: What colour button did you push?

Peter: Blue, for the blue suit!

Nebula: Blue is the open line for everyone.

Mantis: Orange is for blue. Blue is for orange, Yellow is for green, green is for red, and red is for yellow.

Drax: No, Yellow is for yellow, green is for red, and red is for green.

Mantis: How do you know that?

Drax: Try it then.

Mantis, to Peter: HELLLOOOOO.

Peter, feedback ringing in his ears: How the hell was I supposed to know all of that?

Drax: Seems intuitive.

[selenblackwrites]

6. Agony

Daryl sat hunched over on the edge of their bed, head cradled in his hands, his body tense and trembling. A low, guttural groan escaped his lips, and his fingers clawed at his knees as if he could transfer the unbearable pain elsewhere.

Rick stood in the doorway, watching, worry etched deep into his face. He’d seen Daryl take on walkers, fight through gunshot wounds, survive near-death scrapes that would’ve flattened anyone else. But this? Seeing Daryl in agony like this was new. And it scared him.

“Daryl,” Rick said gently, stepping into the room. His voice was steady, but his heart pounded in his chest.

“Don’t,” Daryl growled through gritted teeth. He didn’t even lift his head, just rocked slightly where he sat, his breath ragged and uneven. “Just... don’t.”

Rick didn’t stop. He crouched down in front of Daryl, placing a steady hand on his knee. The heat radiating off him was alarming. “How long’s it been like this?”

“Dunno,” Daryl mumbled, voice muffled and raw. “Few days. Ain’t no big deal.”

Rick frowned. “Ain’t no big deal? You’re sweatin’ bullets and look like you’re about to pass out. You’re in pain, Daryl. This ain’t somethin’ you can just tough out.”

“Leave it,” Daryl snapped, his voice breaking midway. But the usual bite in his tone was absent, replaced by something raw and vulnerable. His hand shot up to clutch at his jaw, and a choked sound escaped him - a mix between a sob and a growl.

Rick’s chest tightened. He’d never seen Daryl like this. His strong, stoic Daryl, reduced to a quivering wreck by a damn tooth infection.

“Hey,” Rick said softly, reaching out to cup Daryl’s face, his thumb brushing over his damp cheek. “It’s okay. We’ll figure this out, alright? But you gotta let me help you.”

Daryl flinched at the touch but didn’t pull away. His breath hitched, and when his bloodshot eyes finally met Rick’s, there was a flicker of shame there, buried beneath the pain.

“I can’t...” Daryl started, then stopped, his voice breaking. “It’s bad, Rick. Feels like my damn head’s gonna split open.”

“I know, I know,” Rick said soothingly. He leaned in closer, his forehead nearly brushing Daryl’s. “You’re gonna be okay. We’ll get you through this.”

Daryl shook his head weakly, his hands gripping his thighs so tight Rick was sure he’d bruise himself. “Don’t feel like it. Feels like it’s killin’ me.”

Rick slid onto the bed beside him, wrapping an arm around his trembling shoulders. “It won’t,” he said firmly. “I won’t let it.”

Daryl huffed a bitter laugh through his nose. “What the hell you gonna do? You ain’t no doctor.”

“True,” Rick admitted. “But I’m a hell of a storyteller.”

That caught Daryl’s attention, if only for a moment. He side-eyed Rick, one eyebrow twitching upward. “The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

Rick smiled faintly. “It means I’m gonna tell you about our future. You just sit back and listen.”

Daryl groaned, but he didn’t argue, letting his head drop against Rick’s shoulder.

“Alright,” Rick started, his voice low and steady. “Picture this: It’s a few years from now. We’re out by the cabin - you know, the one we’ve been talkin’ about building up in the hills. You’re sittin’ on the porch in that ugly-ass flannel you refuse to throw out- ”

“Ain’t ugly,” Daryl muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Rick chuckled. “It’s ugly, and you know it. Anyway, you’re sittin’ there, workin’ on some kind of project - whittlin’ or fixin’ somethin’, I don’t know. And I’m out in the yard, chasin’ after the dog.”

“We ain’t got no dog,” Daryl said, his tone laced with a sliver of skepticism.

“Not yet,” Rick agreed. “But we will. Big ol’ mutt, probably. One of those dogs that looks like it’s been through as much as we have.”

Daryl made a sound that could’ve been a laugh if it wasn’t so strained.

“So there we are,” Rick continued, his arm tightening around Daryl. “You on the porch, me in the yard, the dog runnin’ circles around us. Sun’s settin’, and everything’s quiet. Peaceful. We’ve got a garden out back - one of those messy ones with more weeds than flowers - and a pen full of fat rabbits ‘cause you decided you’d rather raise ‘em than hunt ‘em.”

“Sounds like somethin’ you’d do,” Daryl muttered.

Rick grinned. “Maybe. But you’re the one always out there, complainin’ about how much work it is while you’re sneakin’ carrots to the rabbits when you think I’m not lookin’.”

Daryl snorted softly, his lips twitching as if he wanted to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.

“And there’s us,” Rick went on, his voice growing softer. “We’re older than we ever thought we’d get to be, sittin’ there together, watchin’ the sun go down. Happy, Daryl. We’re happy.”

Daryl didn’t say anything, but his head leaned heavier against Rick’s shoulder, his body slowly losing its tension as Rick’s words wrapped around him like a lifeline.

“And you’ve still got all your teeth,” Rick added, grinning. “’Cause we took care of this one.”

Daryl huffed weakly, his shoulder nudging Rick’s. “Dumbass.”

“You love me,” Rick teased, brushing a hand through Daryl’s sweat-soaked hair.

“Yeah, yeah,” Daryl murmured, his voice barely audible. “Just shut up and keep talkin’.”

And so Rick did, spinning stories of their future - of lazy mornings, quiet nights, and a life they both deserved. He talked until Daryl’s breathing evened out, the pain dulled enough for sleep to claim him.

Rick stayed there, holding him close, silently promising to make every word of that future come true. Together.

Next ┈➤

[somatheking]

Seven Nights At Soma's

In which in a sci-fi AU, you're the new communications officer at the Beach, one of Hatter's luxury space cruises. As part of your training, every day you receive tapes from an old employee explaining the ins and outs of the ship. However, it's not long until things start to sound... off.

Disclaimer: I mention several canon AiB characters in this, but rest assured that they aren't based on anyone's portrayal of them, only on my own interpretation.

Day 1: Slate 1 - 15/09/2023

Good morning! Or good evening, or good night. I’m not sure when you’re hearing this tape but I hope you decided to listen to it first thing after you woke up, mainly because it’s gonna help you get through the day. 

First off, let me give you the obligatory greeting (I’m reading this from a card I’ve got right here, so don’t mind me if I sound too weird): 

Welcome to the Beach! Combining classic elegance and cutting-edge innovation, our space cruises offer the latest in comfort, gastronomy, innovation, entertainment and onboard experience. Our new and improved spaceships are also pushing the boundaries of sustainable tourism, by employing robotic assistants as personnel so as to focus on environmental well-being and minimising waste… 

Sorry, sorry, I had to cut that short because I’m starting to laugh. Assistants, more like ASS-istants, am I right? Haha, yeah, it’s a funny word.

Anyways, yeah, I’m supposed to give you a rundown on your new job, although it isn’t precisely new, is it? Hatter told me he was thinking of filling the vacancy with someone who already worked here, but since I’m the vacancy, I’m not sure whether he ended up doing that or he simply hired someone new. Still, I figured you’d need some help, so I made you these tapes. Seven, one per day, which would cover the amount of time we need to get out of the Milky Way and into another galaxy, and after that you’ll literally be on your own. Well, I’ve only just recorded the one, so maybe I’m here saying it’s gonna be seven but it ends up being three, I don’t know. I guess we’ll see! Man, I’m more excited about this than you probably are, haha. 

As I told you before, I’m the guy you’re replacing. I was actually the ship doctor, but the previous communications officer left, so I had to replace him. Doing both jobs and only getting paid for one, which is pretty rough, but hey, we gotta do what we gotta do. You know how in the Barbie movie, Ken’s job was ‘beach’? Well, mine is doctor and comms officer, haha. I was actually friends with the guy that left, and I imagine I must’ve spent so much time hanging out with him that Hatter thought some knowledge passed on to me. I have to say, this ship mostly runs itself, so I didn’t have much trouble. And you won’t either!

Anyways, yeah, let’s talk about the elephant in the room and get it over with. You’re on a cruise where the vast majority of personnel are robots. It’s more efficient that way; as I said in the presentation, ‘environmental well-being and minimising waste’. There’s so many I’m not even sure I know all their names, but to be honest, they’re not gonna bother you much. So, how about instead we run over some of the people you’ll be working with?

First off, since you’re a comms officer, you’ll sadly have to keep in touch with Chishiya, who’s in charge of logistics. He’s, excuse my French, a huge ass bitch. Yeah, that’ll make more sense when you meet him, but mark my words, you’re gonna hate the guy. I did, so it makes sense that you will too. I don’t wanna keep talking about him, so let’s move on.

Oh, these aren't employees but I figure you could say hello to them since they're pretty nice. Arisu and Usagi are this couple who've been together for what seems like forever and they're so cute. You can feel the love radiating from them, it's like they were made for each other. They are so, so sweet; talking to them always brightened up my day. Sometimes I got claustrophobic here, and when that happened I usually went to them to cheer up. They… I don't know, this might sound stupid, but they reminded me that there's more things to life other than a job. 

You also have Kuina, who is an absolute sweetheart. She’s head of security, but she’s always super willing to help out if you need anything and she isn’t busy. Fortunately for her, this is a pretty tranquil ship; problems rarely arise here, at least the violent types. There hasn’t been any fights breaking out in… months? Probably even longer, yeah. Between you and me, I think the passengers are scared of doing something illegal in the presence of robots. They think they’re gonna bug out or something and accidentally kill them. Boy, Five Nights At Freddy’s really did a number on you all, huh? But yeah, Kuina. She trains once every three days, which means you'll get to see her. I recommend you go talk to her, but be careful not to bother her while she's training! Talking to her impacted me a lot, made me consider a lot of things about my life, plus, she’s very welcoming and one of the best people here. A literal ray of sunshine. 

Oh, God, it sounds like I have a crush, doesn’t it? Haha, no, no, it’s not like that. Well… no, not really. Now you’ve got me flustered, though. I guess I’m ending the tape here, then. I’ll see you tomorrow!

[consumed-by-fandom]

Every Postal 1 Voiceline cuz I’m a fucking nerd

I couldn't find any actual written collection of the voicelines from the og game, so I uh. Transcribed them myself. For no reason. So here you go if anyone wants them, and I might do redux after I play it.

Warning the list is really long so like don't click read more unless you're in a new tab or you don't mind scrolling lmao.

Taken from this very helpful video (check it out for optimal reading experience): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6usSBZeMWA

“Bleed.” (Twice)

“Let’s blow something up.”

“Buckwheat!”

“Burn.”

“Burn, baby, burn.”

“Buttsauce!”

“Smells like chicken.”

“Ooh, hole in one!”

“Sorry, I’m out of hot towels. Will this do?”

“This won’t affect my tip, will it?”

“You’re gonna need a massage after this.”

“You should’ve gone to Disneyland.”

“I could really kill for a massage right now.”

“Get ‘em, they’re stealing all the tennis balls!”

“Sorry, he checked out already.”

“Who peed in the pool?”

“Ah, alternative lifestyles.”

“Awh, rip the birthday suit.”

“Nudity is offensive.”

“Some people have no sense of decency.”

“You must be freezing, lemme warm you up.”

“Watch it wriggle, rich bastards.”

“Now do you agree that the customer is always right?”

“Forget the brown bag, you need a body bag.”

“Shut the ten items or less crap, bastard.”

“What do you mean this lane is closed? Now it is!”

“What do you mean this lane is closed? It is now!”

“I can’t stand bastards with coupons.”

“Sorry, no refunds ma’am.”

“Would you like a free sample?”

“Clean up on isle five.”

“Now that’s a blue light special!”

“Here’s your low price guarantee.”

“Proudly made in the USA, baby.”

“What do you mean you don’t take plastic?”

“What? You don’t sell Postal?” (Twice)

“Ugh, smells like sour milk.”

“Ahh, nothing like the smell of burning government cheese in the morning.”

“Listen. Can you hear the property values going up?”

“Gotta love welfare reform.”

“Do it quietly. Wouldn’t wanna wake up the neighborhood, would ya?”

“You maniacs, you blew it up! …Oh wait, that was me.”

“You should remain still when injured. Here, lemme help you.”

“What a mess… we can’t have anything nice.”

“What? You’re pinned down? Lemme help.”

“Shake it up, baby!”

“Wow, this grenade works great!”

“I’ll see you in hell. (Laughter)”

“Aww, do you have a boo-boo?”

“Eat lead, sucker!”

“Today is a good day to die!”

“The exterminator’s back!”

“You’re gonna pay for that.”

“I am the angel of death.”

“Show no mercy.”

“Damn, I’m good.”

“Death is my master.”

“Death is my friend.”

“Do you smell something burning?”

“Feel my wrath, dog.”

“Die like the dog you are.”

“Mmm, I love a good barbecue.”

“Judge, jury and executioner.”

“Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

“Killing is good for the soul.”

“Die, weakling!”

“Wussy.”

“All must die.”

“Prosecution rests.”

“Case dismissed.”

“Checked out early.”

“Keep the change.”

“Satisfaction guaranteed.”

“Is there a doctor in the house?”

“Beg for this.”

“Die.” (Twice)

“Don’t be a sissy.”

“Only you can stop the evil.”

“Feel the heat.”

“Get ‘em!” (Twice)

“Going, going, gone.” (Twice)

“Good one.” (Twice)

“Going Postal.”

“Hoo-hah!”

“He’s outta there!”

“See you in hell!”

“I like it hot.”

“Kickin’ ass.”

“(Laughter)” (twice)

“They never liked you.”

“I regret nothing!”

“Oh, baby.”

“O.J!”

“Only my weapons understand me.”

“Postal.”

“Sissy.”

“Slam!”

“Ooh, did that hurt?” (Twice)

“Do it for the gibber!”

“The gun knows.”

“You’re the man.”

“Only my weapon understands me.”

“Yes!” (Twice)

[ask-hannah-blog]

At first I thought I just had some bad take-out but I've been having horrible gas all weekend. What the heck is going on! I can't stop burping and farting! I feel so bloated...

Hmmm we got a little gas ball on our hands.

When you say bad take out, I’m guessing you were at some greasy fast food restaurant you’ve never seen before?

Yeah those things are a breeding ground for tfs. From rednecks, to pigs. From the sound of it you’re going through a slob tf, my condolences.

The gas is just the first step hehe…

Besides those yummy burps, and sexy little (or massive) toots, you’re going to go through some more really fun changes! You’re probably going to get a whole lot hungrier, more fuel for more farts, but most importantly fat! Slobs get fat fat fat, so plan on getting some stretch pants in the near future.

Don’t worry about the wardrobe change you’re going to lose all interest in fashion after a bit. Tank tops and sweat pants will do for you. I wouldn’t even worry about a bra, you probably won’t. You’re going to get reeeeeeal lazy too, so do all your work finding a lawyer and slob doctor now now now, it’s going to get more impossible for you to care by the hour. And rent is due one way or another.

Also hire a maid service or you’re going to be drowning in your own trash. They’re are companies that have specialized maids who are given a slob fetish so make sure you hire from one of them.

And be prepared to stink! It’s not just going to be farts and chili dog burps. Even as you’re reading this you’re probably noticing your swampy pits, your pussy becoming sour and ripe, you won’t care but make sure you warn friends and family. It can be pretty shocking.

And the best part is the hair. Hairy legs, a downright forest of rubes, and if you’re lucky a happy trail that leads right to your deep sweaty belly button! 😋

But most of all it’s going to be the pits. Hairy like a carpet, sweaty, smelly. Oh they’ve got it all, they’re going to become your new sex. Maybe not as powerful as your hairy pussy or overactive asshole, but you won’t say no to squeezing a dick in there and letting your beaux tangle your forest up with his jizz.

You’re going to notice yourself scratching your armpits a lot. What you probably won’t notice is you sniffing your fingers after, or sucking on them, or the way you rub your neck and face with your dripping wet hand after.

It’s your signature smell of course you want it to be your new perfume. And of course you’re going to want to rub up against everything like a Randy cat, spreading your scent, marking your territory.

Obviously your love life is going to suffer, you’ll be horny as hell stuck on a cloud of your own funk, but you’ll be stuck satisfying your own needs because dating is so much work, as if you could find a guy to date your rank ass anyway.

So your only hope is to have a lover now, and get him hooked on your stink. You gotta start now, while it’s not too toxic.

Start rubbing your sweat on his things so he gets acclimated to it. “Accidently” fart during sex so you can train him to like the smell. Give him a blow job while laying on your stomach so your feet are nice and close to his face. It would be worth it to try some kinky play where you tie him up and stuff dirty socks or panties in his mouth. He’ll be your slavish pig before you know it!

Ms. Hannah!

[harleythealter]

I disassociated so hard in the dentist today and then vaguely thought “I wonder who’s present rn. I wonder who’s processing all of this for me?” and brought myself bad to the full reality of what was happening to me. And it was painful. What a horrible way to resurface.

And then ontop of that I had this horrible(imo) interaction with somebody. It got quiet. The kind of quiet it gets when you’re having a staring contest. And so whenever she’d explain to me the devastation of my teeth, she’d pause and my brain just started going fucking nuts because “this is where you say something” echoed inside my head but I knew for a fact it was not. Anyways. That was the most painful explanation ever. But I really appreciated this new dentist for actually explaining what they were doing to me and what they were looking at and let me see the pictures they took and helped me comprehend them.

Which. Both terrified me because I’ve had a clean dental record for damn near 7 years or something wild and suddenly I go to a new dentist and they’re like… haha… uhm here’s 7 cavities. It’s going to cost over $1300. (In a professional way tho). And I’m pissed off because when they explained how they spotted the cavities on two of my teeth I was like… I think those have been there since my last checkup where the old dentist said I’m all good. And I’m so confused now. But I didn’t say that because it was so awkward. Thank fuck my mom wasn’t there to see the initial check in.

Also why do adults go into so much detail about how painful it is to have cavities when we’re kids. When I was a child I thought “that sounds horrible” and shrugged it off. Now as an adult I see the great fear.

Also like. Will they let me wear my noice cancelling headphones while they work on the cavities? I’m so fucking scared. Adults really gotta figure out what not to say around children with the belief that there won’t be consequences.

Anyways. We talked about flossing and when my teeth were being cleaned, the person helping could hardly get the flosser between some of the teeth. It was so hard to explain to the doctor who did the real evaluation that like. I get discouraged by how hard it is. I can’t get around my retainer or back by my wisdom teeth(I have a jaw locking problem weird ass thing and can’t open my mouth much). And I want to floss but I don’t know how. So they gave me a whole bunch of tools and she suggested something expensive or something that basically blasts water at my teeth to help with flossing. So… there’s that. We’ll see if the other stuff works first. It’s not that I don’t want to floss but I cut my fingers open with flosser string cuz I saw so much to get it into my teeth. But floss picks shred after one tooth.

At least my new dentist is super kind.

They were like. Wanna set up your 6 month cleaning. And I had to awkwardly think like… we go once every two years but uhm… sure. Well that failed cuz I’m gone during the six month period so I’m basically going back in 11 months.

Im so scared to tell my mom about what they found. And even more scared to go back.