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bromcommie · 6 days ago

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9 TBRs for 2025

Thanks to the great @burberrycanary for the tag! This was a bit of a tough one, not gonna lie. My reading habits have been really weak over the past year, so of course the second I started reading a bit more and making lists for the first time in forever again I got overexcited and ended up with something like 150 titles on there, and no plan on what I'm reading when. Which is classic. Anyway, some picks in no particular order:

In Memory of Memory by Maria Stepanova — As with many other books in 2024, I unfortunately started and stopped this one several times, but I’m a sucker for meandering retellings of family histories, and I'll be damned if my troubling attention span stops me from finally finishing this hefty thing this year.

Mud Sweeter Than Honey: Voices of Communist Albania by Margo Rejmer — One from the pile of books I impulse-bought in lieu of souvenirs when I visited Tirana last summer. I came to the realization that I actually know very little about Albania (or at least the general experience of the population) in the latter half of the 20th century despite my proximity to it, so oral histories seemed like a decent place to start in bridging that gap.

Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin — Baldwin is one of those authors I’ve read mostly excerpts and essays from, watched/read a bunch of interviews of, seen discussed and referenced and dissected and analyzed, and yet who I’ve still somehow never read a full novel by. Which honestly feels like a travesty, so this pick is a step towards rectifying that.

QED: The Strange Theory of Light and Matter by Richard P. Feynman — so the last thing I started (re)reading in 2024 was, somewhat bafflingly, Brian Greene's The Elegant Universe, which is a book on string theory that I bought ages ago while in the throes of a resurgence of interest in theoretical physics, and which I never got around to finishing. It's an enjoyable read, and layman-friendly enough for my invested but distinctly non-scientific brain to get into—but it also left me feeling like I want to go back to something more concrete, yet have no idea where the hell to start. Enter my new best friend goodreads.com giving me suggestions for a couple of Feynman's books which sounded really promising, and here we are. Back in the pop science phase.

The Most Secret Memory of Men by Mohamed Mbougar Sarr — picked this one up last year because the premise sounded fascinating and like it's going to hit all of my favourite buttons. Advertised as the Prix Goncourt 2021 winner and a love letter to literature, an exploration of colonial legacy, identity and an obssessive quest for truth across various geographies and turbulent historical periods. Really looking forward to this one, I have to say.

Nothing Ever Dies: Vietnam and the Memory of War by Viet Thanh Nguyen — Watching HBO's The Sympathizer had some side-effects, namely that there are currently five different books related to the war in Vietnam on my newly formed list. I do also intend to read The Sympathizer itself at some point, but this honestly drew me in more. Having a historical background told from the perspective of the same author to go off of seems like a good idea, in any case. I also always find anything that deals with collective memory in the wake of conflict to be very interesting, so this was an immediate pick.

The Bridge on the Drina by Ivo Andrić — This is going to be a reread, strictly speaking, but considering that the last time I attempted reading it I was in high school and definitely too impatient and ill-equipped to fully grasp it, I'm gonna give myself a pass. It’s such a classic that it deserves a yearly reread, anyway.

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison — another one of those "I can’t believe it took me so long to get around to reading this” picks. Both it and Song of Solomon have been sitting in my laptop in PDF form for years now probably, and it apparently took Aaron Schimberg making it a through-line in A Different Man, out of all the fucking things, for me to remember that fact with a start. The power of cinema, and whatnot. Thanks, Mr. Schimberg.

The Walnut Mansion by Miljenko Jergović — I recently reread another book by this author called The Unearthly Expression of His Hands, which is centered around the 1914 Sarajevo Assassination and the lives of the players (and fictionalized non-players who nonetheless lived in the shadow of the event) that were involved as well as the multilayered cultural and historical fabric of the city itself. It was such a great read that now I have a mini-TBR just for his works. Imho Jergović is masterful at intertwining individual fates against a grand backdrop, and the way he manages to ground his historical fiction work in very universal, human truths while also capturing all the little idiosyncracies of the region never fails to knock me on my ass.

Gonna go ahead and gently tag @dharmasharks, @emjee, @snowangeldotmp3, @camcorderrevival, @bitchyblkqueer, @thankssaragorn, @hardtobeasaintdotmp3, @zenaidamacrouras1, @somanywords, and anyone else who'd like to do this! <3

#bookshelf #tbr #max.txt #how many times can you mention the words memory and history in a single post 2025 challenge #this was very fun! and helpful in figuring out what I want to read next

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centrally-unplanned · 8 months ago

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Watched a bunch of stuff last night, including the Alita OVA from 1993! I thought it was a lot of fun, the thoughts:

--- It did the "obvious" thing of adapting the romance arc with Yugo of Volume 2 as the core, while blending in the events of Volume 1 as sort of backstory and setup as opposed to their own story. This arc is Alita at her most humanized in the early parts of the manga, and its the plot that centers Zalem as the untouchable overlord city most effectively. Any short adaptation is gonna choose this - part of why James Cameron (lol) did the same thing!

--- Speaking of, the manga does not actually have any particular focus on Alita's eyes, but the anime definitely has more than one shot where it establishes them as thematically special. Given that the James Cameron film is famous for going full CGI on Alita's eyes, and he knows about the property from Guillermo del Toro passing him the OVA as opposed to the manga, I think I can see the chain of events that lead to that (ill-fated?) decision.

Her eyes are pretty amazing in the OVA, so I get it! As my previous reblogs showed lol.

--- I think I can break apart the manga into three "concepts": the setting as cyberpunk dystopia, Alita as a character dealing with identity issues as an amnesiatic combat robot, and shounen fighting & levelling arcs. The OVA heavily focuses on the first part, ditching almost all the shounen stuff - its fight scenes are quick and focus on violence & bodily destruction over strength or "fighting techniques", etc. This is great for me, obviously! But it also, almost accidentally, ditches most of her identity issues? Because its less than an hour long, and needs to do a ton of worldbuilding - including even adding in a new character from Zalem to help with that - and is doing Yugo's entire arc, you really don't have time left for Alita's struggles. Yugo actually gets more "inner depth" than she does! She commits to being a bounty hunter, then after that she is pretty much just In Love while Yugo goes through his detailing of his past and collapse.

I'm not saying it doesn't work, it does as a story. Just interesting for something that is known as very "protagonist associated" to have an OVA where she is barely the protagonist.

--- While no Urotsukidoji or anything, this is another one of those OVAs where its reputation, particularly in the west, is as a hyper-violent, gory OVA? And like so many it really isn't. People get decapitated, don't get me wrong, buts its never lingers on those moments. Instead they serve as tone setters for the crapsack world or just are part of the action sequences.

I think in general the OVA era rarely made horror/gore films the way some other mediums/industries did? There are exceptions of course but in the end anime is trying to do too many other things; beautiful animation, focus on character designs, often being adaptations and so doing the plot of those more complex stories, erotic content for audiences that aren't *that* fetishistic on average, and more. All of these priorities compete for space in comparison to having endless jumpscares and blood splatters. So far my track record for watching the famous "gorefest" or "~crazy~" anime is that every one of them is tamer than the rep suggests, and I believe this medium/genre mismatch is why.

--- The biggest question I have around Alita in general is why there was never any more anime? Its weird, right? Its a famous property from a beloved genre, it had a hollywood film for some crazy reason, things like Ghost in the Shell got multi-season anime after all. Why no feature film remake in the 2000's? Why no 13-cour in the 2010's? I don't have an answer to that yet.

Why the initial OVA was so minimal is at least partly answered by Kishiro here:

MNS: Many fans have wondered, why were only 2 anime OAV episodes produced in 1993? YK: It was based on the plan proposed by the animation production company. It might have been better to turn down the plan and wait for a better adaptation proposal to come up, but back then, I couldn't afford to review the plan coolly. At that time, I was still serializing the work and was so busy that I wasn't ambitious to make it into animation.

Essentially he took the "deal on hand", not offering much, because he didn't have the time, money, or business savvy to work the industry for a better proposal. 100% understandable. I don't think the OVA did too well? I can't find a lot of sales figures, but the comments I see are in the "respectable" range, and it didn't get quick or expansive rereleases over time.

More broadly, and again speculative, I think maybe Alita overall isn't that successful? Like sure Kishiro is still out here releasing more sequel manga to this day somehow, but when I look at the "media mix" its just really sparse. No big video game adaptations - it has a PlayStation game in the 90's - it has like a drama CD and a novelization? No big merch waves or tie-ins. I am betting the big anime production committees just don't think its a hot enough property to sell that great. Wouldn't be a bad idea or anything, but not one you have to do like idk Chainsaw Man.

In the western fandom spaces its quite well known because of the idiosyncrasies of licensing history, the weird James Cameron factor, and I think a general fascination with anime cyberpunk; the west eats up any of the older cyberpunk properties for its aesthetic in a way that can blind people to the reality of that just being a subgenre in Japan at the time. Alita might just be niche enough that it not getting any wider anime adaptations is no grand mystery.

(But I hope to dig into this question more)

#battle angel alita #mini essay

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tbshorts · 1 month ago

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Burmy is just a really well-constructed take on its real-world inspiration

youtube

Wait, hang on, the Combee line is AMAZING!

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Pachirisu is where Pikaclones begin to have their own ideas

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Video scripts below the cut

Burmy:

Burmy is an interesting one. It's based on bagworms, which make their sheltering cocoons out of materials they find in their environments as camoflage, hence the different forms it can take on. The body itself is neutral black with bright yellow eyes in large part to create a neutral canvas on which its various cloaks can provide a high contrast, which is quite effective design.

Wor-madam does much the same thing but More, and dials up the femininity of the presentation by adding "pigtails" out of its materials and taking on a top heavy "fancy lady with a fur coat" sort of profile, again reflecting the way female bagworms remain in their larval stage their whole lives. It's solid stuff.

Mothim, then, gets the traditional bug pokémon final stage, subtyping into flying and growing wings. The black body remains and is used the same way, as a means to create contrast, but it adopts a bright yellow orange and white scheme, with especially those antennae giving its face a sharp, slightly dangerous-feeling character. It's a honey thief, according to the pokédex, which is perhaps why it has those "fingers" on its wings?

This whole line is just solid design craft, I have no complaints.

Grade: B

Combee:

I've never really given Combee a second thought, but upon re-examining it for this review I realized, hang on, these are freaken brilliant. It's a bee made of hexagons that are fused together into one body, quite literally embodying the way that a bee hive is a kind of gestalt entity, a unity composed of thousands of individuals joined together into one organism. The bees ARE the hive, in this case quite literally.

Vespiqueen takes the metaphor one step further, being a queen bee who is quite literally her own hive. I do feel like she ought to be designed to be way bigger, but the idea here is killer, and if you made it even slightly less kid-friendly, it would make for a killer horror monster.

But this is Pokémon and it's not going to go that far. Still, the top half of the body literally carrying a bee hive around beneath it, shaped in a way to evoke a big regal gown, that's clever, and the blood red eyes and sharp mandibles make a sharp contrast in deadliness with the cheerful adorableness of Combee, visually communicating the scale of difference in power between the two, but also that Vespiqueen isn't ruling by consensus, it's pheromone mind control and she is a tyrant. It rules.

Grade: S

Pachirisu:

Oooh, they keep trying to make Pikachu 2 happen, and Pikachu 2 just isn't gonna happen.

That's not Pachirisu's fault, of course, and does a much better job of distinguishing itself from Pikachu than Plusle and Minun did last generation. It's a squirrel rather than a mouse, and gets its electric theming from that bright blue streak on its body, as well as from sharp spikes in the blue fur that contrast with the soft, round adorableness of the rest of the design. I kinda feel like it woulda been better if it hadn't gone for the bright yellow cheek pads, because, again, that just reminds of Pikachu's iconic red cheek pads and invites comparison, but also, it confuses the color scheme a bit. Am I meant to understand the blue color and spikes as representing its electric power, or is it the yellow? Even the Pokédex gets a bit confused whether it stores its electricity in the cheeks or in the big fluffy tail. Electric cheeks is Pikachu's thing, so focusing on the tail and designing that out would have given it much more of its own identity.

For all the comparisons I'm making though, it's not fair to call it just a Pika-clone, it does have its own ideas, and frankly I would have loved to see an evolution for it that really leans into the static electric fluffy fur concept.

Grade: B

#tb posting #pokemon #pokémon #pokémon diamond #pokémon pearl #pokémon gen 4 #burmy #burmadam #mothim #combee #vespiqueen #pachirisu #Youtube

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salmalin · 7 months ago

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So I have thoughts about Roche, Queerness, themes related to Modern Christianity in regards to Conversion Therapy, and the Sephiroth Cloning Effects in FFVIIR. Which, uh… I realize are extremely strange topics to connect, but bear with me here.

(Spoilers under the cut.)

It starts specifically with thoughts about how Roche is flamboyant and fun and weird, and he’s also unapologetic about that. Thoughts about how his fight scene in Part 2 involve him exclusively on his bike, and how he’s weak to fire. He’s dramatic, invites others to the “party”, and makes a spectacle about everything. He involves his bike in every attack, too.

I’m also thinking about that last fight scene—after the procedure. I think about how he said he was disobeying orders. So who brought him there? His friends in the army? And honestly, the moment the scene started, I knew he wouldn’t come out of the other end of the battle. Why? Well:

1. He leaps out of a container full of people instead of bringing them with him. He has abandoned the audience and his fans and very literally left them behind.

2. He destroys his bike himself and doesn’t even flinch, then he fights on foot, suddenly without his bike but still demanding Cloud’s best despite having thrown away his ability to do his own.

3. He’s not even weak to fire anymore. Which means not only has he thrown away all his strengths, but all his weaknesses, as well.

Over the course of that scene, followed by the disappointing fight to follow, it becomes abundantly clear that Roche has lost all sense of himself. His ability to maintain himself leaves even before his will and honor, which is very in-character for him. Almost nothing remains of the man he was except his honor. But also the fact that they lay this out first is such in-your-face symbolism… It’s honestly a big reason why I’ve been enjoying the remake of 7 so much.

Roche lost every bit of himself piece by piece before our very eyes, and we watch the last of him slide off and become swallowed by Sephiroth’s ego, and that honestly drives home just how powerful Sephiroth’s ego is, and just how terrifying it is. How destructive.

I also think it’s incredibly beautiful to apply a story-line like this to a character who—let’s be real here—reads as unbelievably queer. Like holy hell. This man brought a brass band to a knife fight. His ego and his honor shine through even through the end. Even after every part of him is taken from him, someone else’s will hammered into his body and mind…

The Sephiroth Cloning technique, through this lens, reads a lot like Conversion Therapy.

Those subjected to this specific brand of torture are forced to conform to the identity of another, their initial personality lost and distorted as they are directed to bend to the will and desires of another. Most of them die before reaching the end, usually through the action of moving itself. They shuffle along, mindless, with nothing to them beyond this horrible trek to serve another’s purpose—a being that is beyond the reach of mortals; a being that has died and returned to their World through the touch of their (Father in Heaven) Mother.

Cloud comes out the other end after years of this and barely even has a sense of self left, if you can even call it that at that point. Heck, if Advent Children is still canon, this means he’s still so messed up by guilt years after the fact that he doesn’t even know how to be happy, or to bring himself to be around others for long periods of time. He fundamentally does not remember who he was before, basing his identity around a man who was not compatible with the cloning technique and managed to escape. However, this puts MORE holes in his head and his story because this is not who he is. He is pretending to be something he cannot even remember. You know. Like horrible PTSD from being in a Conversion Therapy Camp for just shy of five years.

I’m gonna stop myself here or I’ll go on for ages. Regardless, food for thought.

#ffviir #ffviir spoilers #roche ffvii #sephiroth ffvii #cloud strife #what am i even doing with my life at this point #meta #sal speaks #text #mine

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carboardserpent · 1 year ago

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what are your reasonings for liking chick hick describe in vivid detail

Oh boy where do I even start.

Okay so...

Chick isn't the first character like him that I've gotten attached to. The other one is Guzma, from gen 7 of Pokémon.

They're very similar in a lot of ways. They're the big scary antagonist with anger issues and they cause a lot of destruction which may or may not harm people (or cars?) around them. A lot of people might only see that about them.

But if you go looking, there's a lot more depth to them. Daddy issues, for one. We find that out in the Cars comics. Chick's father was abusive, no two ways about that. Nothing was ever good enough for him except first place. He got angry with Chick for stopping to help one of the other racers, claiming that he should be doing everything in his power to win, not wasting his time on others (I'm paraphrasing, that might not be exactly what was said).

The fact Chick stopped to help shows us that he wasn't always bad. He was a good kid, and I firmly believe that. It was his father who told him over and over again that he must "win at all costs" that did the damage. When you spend your whole life trying desperately to please someone who cannot be pleased, that's bound to end up reflected in who you become.

I believe that he's violent on the track because that's what he thinks he needs to do to win. Just like his dad told him. And he's insufferable off the track because of an inferiority complex: He's never won. He has a rival that always beats him, and the entire racing fanbase (millions of people) dislikes him for how reckless and destructive he is. That, of course, only gets much, much worse after the end of the first film.

Now those millions of people all hate him. He let his anger get the best of him. He wanted to beat his rival one last time before Strip retired. We know at the point he crashed Strip that he knew he couldn't win. Lightning was miles ahead. He didn't crash Strip to try and win. He specifically said, "I am not coming in behind you again." That's the inferiority complex coming through. When you go your entire career and never get more than second place because of one specific man, yeah. You're gonna be bitter about it.

Then, when Lightning stopped, that meant Chick won. He wasn't expecting to win, but he did. He won, and as a result, his dad would be proud of him. Right? Well, we can't know for sure, but I don't think so. Not because he crashed Strip, no. But because Lightning LET him win. So despite everything, despite being universally hated by millions of people, he still couldn't make that one man proud of him, which is what he's been trying to do his entire life.

Then we get to Cars 3. At this point, Chick has had YEARS of being hated by the entire racing community. He's probably incredibly depressed, clutching to the one cup he has like a lifeline and living purely out of spite. He made a TV show so people couldn't just put him out of their minds. He made it a good show, so even if they hated him, they would still watch it. They made his life miserable, so he's not going to let them forget about him. I think he leans into the hate because otherwise it would smother him. How could it not? Everyone expects him to act like a dick, so he does. He's even worse than he used to be. At this point, it's his entire identity.

Under all that, though, I think he's probably hurting and lonely. I don't think Strip's crash was supposed to be as bad as it was. I think all he wanted was to cause him to spin out into the infield. Harmless. But it went wrong, and he leaned into it to save his already fragile ego. It was easier to admit he was brutal than it was to admit he made a mistake. Especially when his dad was watching.

But you know, most of that is just speculation and some headcanons to fill in the gaps. It's why I love him so much, though. I thought about the effects of his actions and what impact that might have on him, but I also tried to figure out why he did those things to begin with. That's important for understanding a character; the why. This is where I ended up.

Thank you for asking, though, because I can not gush about this guy enough. I have so many Thoughts(tm) about him.

#cars fandom #cars pixar #pixar cars #cars 2006 #disney cars #chick hicks #cars 3 #i love him so much

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spenglercore · 11 months ago

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Tell us about the Big Damn Heroes incident where Ilse almost murdered Piotr

So, to start with: Piotr is the kind of guy who would rather suffer himself than let other suffer if he can help them. The man has a heart of gold and it's gotten his ass kicked more than once in his life. He's got a strong sense of justice and loyalty and would give you the shirt off his back or take on someone he knows is going to beat the shit out of him if means you'd be spared the harm.

At some point in his late twenties he joins the army as a tank mechanic and serves in both Korea and part of Vietnam. In the latter conflict, he gets set to a forward repair base when their foreman is KIA. He's slated to take the guy's place temporarily until his replacement arrives, and while he's there they end up having to go on tank recovery in hostile territory.

Now, retrieving an M48 Patton tank is almost always going to be An Affair in and of itself, depending on just how badly damaged it is. And if it was damaged enough that it couldn't be driven back to base, that means you've gotta send people out to get it, which requires a tank recovery vehicle (usually just another wholeass tank modified for towing) and also possibly do any repairs that it might need to even make it towable, and do so in the field.

This is what Piotr and his guys are doing when they discover it was a trap and they walked right into it.

So bullets are flying and people are diving for cover, of which there isn't much. Piotr is the guy in charge as far as the mechanics go, and he knows that the longer they sit there the more losses they'll incur. Yeah, they've got a guy on the radio yelling for backup, but between that moment and when backup actually arrives, IF it arrives at all, is an unknown quantity and a lot can happen in that time frame. Their best bet is to get to the recovery vehicle and beat a hasty retreat, while hoping the VC don't have any anti-tank weapons.

So this motherfucker decides that it's his job to get the recovery vehicle unhooked from the tank they were gonna recover and pile as many guys into it as possible while providing moving cover for anyone else so they can get out of the middle of things and into a more defensible position. Of course, this is a dumb idea, but Piotr can be dumb as a box of rocks at times. He's a machinist, engineer and mechanic, not a tactician.

He gives his dog tags to another guy, says the classic 'tell my wife and kid i love them' line, and then runs off. Miraculously, he's not instantly hit. Instead, when he gets to where the two vehicles are hooked together, he runs into an enemy soldier. Once again, he miraculously escapes injury or death by bayonet and instead brains the guy on reflex with the mini sledgehammer he had in his hand. Being close enough to see the effects of a hammer on a human head and watching the guy die is not something he was ever prepared for, and it's here that he locks up and gets hit. Not only does he get perforated, but his left knee takes a decent piece of shrapnel right to the joint and he gets a pretty nasty concussion and goes down.

Backup does arrive, and being concussed and panicky because holy shit he's been hit, Piotr gets uncharacteristically combative and gets his ass sedated before he's flown out to a MASH unit where he's patched up. But when he starts to come out of sedation, he's still combative due to having a traumatic brain injury and keeps saying his last name isn't Spengler, it's Kowalski, so not only can they not immediately verify his identity, he gets put in a medical coma for a while and is expected to recover but have chronic problems at absolute best.

While he's out, a clerical error occurs where he's mistakenly listed as KIA, and the corresponding letter is sent out to his wife, who is understandably distraught. Luckily, the day after she gets the letter, Piotr is brought out of the coma and it turns out he's just one of those lucky sons of bitches who recovers completely from the brain injury and nobody really knows why or how. And once he's been awake for a day or so, he finds out that he was mistakenly listed as dead and goes 'Oh fuck I need to call my WIFE.' Which he does, and when he explains that this whole mess is because he was trying to be a hero, he gets chewed out in German loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear.

Not long after that, he finds himself on his way home on a medical discharge because the cartilage of his left knee got pretty fucked up and he's no longer fit to serve. But rather than a warm welcome, Piotr is greeted with a halfhearted slap across the face and another tirade of German as Ilse goes off about what an ass he is, how he scared the shit out of her, about what a dipshit move that was taking off his dog tags and trying to be a hero, etc etc. The ride home is quiet and tense, as is getting settled in for the evening.

Once everything is put away and they're behind closed doors though, he pulls Ilse in for a hug and apologizes for putting her through so much. er emotions finally come out and she just sort of collapses into the hug and cries. Seeing her crying over the whole thing has more of an impact on Piotr than her being pissed enough to slap him; he goes to sometimes comical lengths to avoid causing her distress or otherwise upsetting her or making her feel bad, even on accident, and knowing that he did it anyway really eats at him for awhile.

Over the decades though, the time Ilse almost murdered her husband for being a shit idiot becomes something of a running joke.

Along with the time he got goaded into going streaking on a motorcycle.

#none braincells left beef #asks #spenglerisims #piotr spengler

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interdimensional-ship · 9 months ago

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✭ ✭ one for the two of them if that’s allowed

((Guessing you mean one headcanon that applies to both Lor and Magolor? If not you can just send this ask again specifying two distinct headcanons, or just two asks. Anyways… I suppose this is as good a time as any to explain how Clash fits into things, eh? This will contain spoilers for Magolor Epilogue, so if you’ve still not played it and have managed to avoid them thus far I suggest not reading beyond this point. For those still here, strap in, this is gonna be a long one!))

((So, for those who haven’t read the fic I’ve been writing that explores the earliest days of Magolor and Lor knowing each other, I’ll just establish right out of the gate that Magolor simultaneously did and didn’t survive his fight with the Tree Crown. He defeated it and all, but his injuries combined with the physical and magical exertion took its toll on him. However, the latent magic where he was, combined with his desire to go to some semblance of a normal home and Another Dimension Weirdness™️, essentially coalesced into that portal to the Dream Kingdom, which itself drew heavily from what Magolor knew of certain historical figures and events, altered by his own experiences. Or, in other words, spurred on by that wish of his and the magic at play, part of the Dream Realm fragmented into that version of the Dream Kingdom due to Another Dimension being unstable as hell and technically not being a place. Hard to die normally when you aren’t anywhere.

Because he ultimately “died” while going through that portal, the world essentially ended up with two separate Magolors. There was Magolor as he thought he might be in his dreams, now living in the Dream Kingdom as a respected and successful seller of various magic items and armor and weapons and the like, who also didn’t truly have to face the consequences of his actions because they magically went away. Then there was the “original” Magolor, still in Another Dimension, who just died and ended up in a limbo of sorts due to the reasons stated above. Given the circumstances of his death and the fact that he wasn’t really “supposed” to die to begin with, Morpho Knight(in butterfly form) ultimately brought him back(on the brink of death still but not Dead dead) to the last home-adjacent place he’d been… Which just so happened to be Lor’s main room.

That brings me to how she ties in with this. Remember how the “real” Dream Kingdom essentially came about as a result of Magolor’s thoughts, feelings, and memories? The concept didn’t just disappear from his mind entirely, and in fact the idea of making a vaguely accurate(if not somewhat anachronistic) retelling of some history/folklore was something he couldn’t help but want to do. Lor, being incredibly advanced and also bigger on the inside than on the outside, can do a lot of cool things, be it having an entire bamboo forest folks can do target practice in, a large firing range that has its own sky and stretches back miles, entire obstacle courses for various skill sets, etc. She also liked the idea, and had information to work with regarding what certain figures were like, essentially allowing her to fill in the blanks between Magolor’s broader ideas while he could focus on details like items and good ol’ “what part can someone I know play in this?”. Thus, Clash ALSO exists as an interactive simulation Lor can run that is effectively a playable reenactment of historical events with a few extra things mixed in.

Of course, because things weren’t confusing enough, neither of these “versions” of Clash are “canon” in the sense that one is an alternate microuniverse and the other is a simulation in a timeline where the original events already occurred. So, y’know, there was no gem apple tree, no Shoppe, Landia hadn’t been around back then, Doctor Healmore and the other heroes weren’t just identical twins save for their colors, Taranza and the Animal Friends and Meta Knight wouldn’t have been there, etc. Galacta Knight, being the Aeon Hero, would’ve been one of the “playable” heroes(he was the Sword Hero of yore), but that obviously wouldn’t have worked for a simulation intended to be like a game. It was actually Lor’s idea to essentially include the depiction of Galacta in the period between snapping and becoming the strongest warrior in the galaxy. It’s by far the biggest creative liberty that was taken, given the fact that Galacta really went off the deep end after the other events of Clash took place. It essentially gave an idea of what he might be like(she didn’t know about Meta Knight’s wish/encounter) while also not omitting the fact that he wasn’t always the dangerous figure he turned himself into.

As for why totally-not-Magolor was included but not some version of herself? One, some anachronisms are too big and blatant to do anything other than break immersion. Two, there’s a point where including familiar faces(or in this case figures without a face) in a historical recreation goes from being a fun little nod to being excessive. Three, accurately simulating herself would have been extremely difficult because she knows she isn’t the type to say “>No you can’t come in go away”, and that would’ve meant needing to recreate her own interior and amenities and the like for accuracy’s sake. If you’re gonna simulate yourself you gotta do it right or else what’s the point?))

#outofboat #ask box #ask meme #about lor #about magolor #headcanons #((whew that’s enough information establishment for one night…))

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yellowocaballero · 1 year ago

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HEY!! Your trigun swap au is so very good!! I've always loved roleswap aus as a concept, and yours is the perfect example of why. it's all about the balancing act of twisting the (swapped) character's background/mentalities for maximum domino effect while not actually *destroying* the character ya know? you still gotta recognize them, it's half of the fun. just some little nudges here... and there... with the delightful result of a changed plot/world that you can discover anew

Also I surprisingly vibe with Dr Knives. a lot. what can I say I guess it's the fucked up superiority-inferiority/guilt complex with a dash of imposter syndrome. also the transgenderism. he's just like me fr fr (minus the speciesism and bloodlust) 1/3

SPEAKING OF! I'm literally a week late for that but chapter 4 may be my favorite so far. it's got it all: Ww's bloodlust coming through and being given a GUN, M&M being #JustNormalGunsmokeKidsThings about it, Knives being incredibly tired and enthusiastically murderous in turns, TRANS PEOPLE!! Funky morally dubious trans men ! Intersex nonbinary Knives (in humans terms) !! small internal rants about ecosystems!

I particularly like that one bc I too found myself twitching whenever I see (in fics or fandom at large) Gunsmoke being shown as a ~hostile, barren~ planet when, like.... *waves agitedly at the Tomases* *waves frantically at the WORMS, in all their INCREDIBLY DIVERSIFIED sizes and shapes* tell me there isn't an entire ecosystem supporting and including these bad boys. And god do I wanna know about it. Terraforming this terraforming that. Enough. I want bio-worldbuilding fics that are just as weird and unhinged as the rest of trigun (2/3)

To go back to Nicholas : I loved his discussion with Knives about fate and predestination and stuff (esp since -I may be reading too much into it, but it’s interesting that Knives says he doesn’t believe in predestination anymore, and just a bit later goes about how his personality is Like That bc he’s Biologically Programmed for it), and his last words in it are especially ominous. WHAT were you gonna say about Vash. How does it concern Nicholas. This is gonna bite them in the ass later isn’t it.

Also ur last asks/answers REALLY doesn’t reassure me about woowoo’s fate. Is he gonna die. Is he gonna end up going thru the same things than his canon counterpart (concentrate of medical-and-general unethicality). Idk what those flags are for but boy They Are There.

Aallll that to say I absolutely love that fic and can't wait to see what you do next with it, thank you so much !! (3/3)

This is so nice thank you so much :D :D :D To comment in order:

Roleswaps are no fun if you can't recognize the character. You're absolutely right - the funnest part is to make the smallest changes possible, and see how they cause the biggest differences. That's true of every AU, honestly - you guys know those 600k shonen manga aus where something major is different but every story beat is identical to canon? Or they're identical to every other au? They're addictive but without substance. Also sounds boring to write.

It's so funny that you (and others) vibe with Dr. Knives! From my end, he has my own very wry deadpan and self-esteem problems. Characters who have both a ridiculously inflated ego for comedy purposes and some real self-esteem problems for drama purposes work great.

I was surprised that so many people enjoyed the trans thing so much! I didn't expect it to make people so happy. Of course it's a nice surprise. I don't remember why I made the BDN decision (funny, probably) or the 'Knives invented gender reassignment surgery' thing (funny definitely), but a very active decision and something that made Knives above every other character fun to write is that he is not a human being and does not think of himself as such. The way his body experiences emotion is different, his body itself is different in a way that probably includes genitalia, and there's no reason for him to experience gender the same way. As I'm about to talk about in the upcoming chapter, he casually refers to himself as a thing and with it/its and it doesn't affect his superiority complex whatsoever.

I...would not have said that this is trans by myself, if that makes sense, because I wouldn't have wanted to say "in order to really hammer in how this character is INHUMAN then I'm gonna make him not male or female and prefer neopronouns!". It's just the shape of the character, to me. BUT LIKE IF Y'ALL LIKE IT! NO PROBLEM! I was just worried I might be saying the wrong thing, so I didn't want to say it, if that makes sense. Y'all can say it though.

Trigun worldbuilding is nonsensical and hideously vague and as a writer if you stop and think too hard about silly questions like "where does the wood come from" or "why is Vash eating salmon sandwiches" then you go insane. But...yeah, Gunsmoke's like any other ecosystem, and its worms and thomases seem to be doing great! It's not Gunsmoke's fault it is almost completely uninhabitable to humans. It sucks for us, but...does Knives care about that??? Lmfao???

There is a shitton to say about Knives' relationship with predestination and inevitability, because it's why he made the worst decision of his life. I think of it as...reasonable, in a lot of ways. If all you knew about humanity was what you read in history textbooks, and human history ended with the destruction of Earth and themselves, how would you feel? Everything humans have done, they do again. And if they dissected your sister, in an act of cruelty that they had done to even themselves...of course you'd worry. Of course. If you're young and scared and you can hear the screams of the dead in your ears, of course you feel like it's going to be you or them. And if you're.........Millions Knives.......and reverse!Vash.....then eliminating the threat is just good business sense.

And you aren't reading too much into it - Trigun in so many ways is about choices, and the impact of your choices. Your decisions are you own, and you must take responsibility for them. Decisions have weight in Trigun. I think what ppl miss sometimes about Vash is that he also wants to fuckin' murder people sometimes. He wants to be violent, he wants to hurt. He just chooses not to. Sometimes choosing pacifism is a hard fucking choice, and I think wiping that away does a disservice to the character. So if Knives would say, "Well, it's just who I am, I had no choice, I had no control, I just go nuts and murder it's not on me..." - what does that mean, in Trigun? It's??? Like??? A pussy thing to say???

But, the way I thought about it - what Knives is fighting is his internal sense that he is predestined for cruelty. He knows "who he really is" and any attempt at goodness is futile, because he's secretly bad and will always be bad. And he fucks up sometimes and starts exploding worms. But Knives chooses goodness, and I don't think he's really cottoned on that his choice to do good is more important than his internal desires to do bad and his history of badness. Because he hates himself.

I think what Knives knows now as an adult is that our lives have paved a path for us to tread. Sometimes that path is innocent, and sometimes your life paves a very nasty path. But it's our choice if we walk it or not. Knives knows what his path is, and it gives him extreme shame - but he chose which one he walked, and that's what I judge him on. Still funny how much he loves murder though.

#i did tag as trans knives so the ppl who are purposefully seeking out genderweird characters can find it #the chapter im about to post talks about this a lot so stay tuned i suppose #it's also worth noting that Knives views a lot of his instincts as a good thing or at least neutral #he hates that he packbonds but. he secretly doesn't mind THAT much ya know.#and i think for him the fact that he views his knives as being meant not just as #instruments of hilariously extreme violence #but as meant to protect the people important to him #is an important part of his self-image and i dont think its a bad one #i mean its a bad one for canon knives because he's insane but.#my writing #my asks

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radiantlyrey · 2 years ago

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Thoughts on Uprising Episode 5, Identity

- Beck continuing the trend of getting into trouble with Wrong Place, Wrong Time stuffs. poor kid…

- love that Tron is in this episode more, being the same Grouch as always.

- the disc theft is……. Interesting. We know from Legacy that there is such thing as a forged disc (Zuse mentions it in the list of things Sam needs to get to the Portal); perhaps stolen discs is where those come from? And stray programs are mentioned in Legacy as well, though not expanded upon. Honestly, TRON is FULL of Unexplained Worldbuilding Things that I would give my right hand to know. UGH

- stray programs are such an interesting concept. Like the disc is the program, apparently?? It’s like…. well actually thinking about it, it makes sense?? Kind of???? The program is made of fairly basic code; the disc holds that code and its log of activities, while the body is just a physical manifestation of the code itself. Unlike Users/humans, whose code is an inherent part of them/us, and thus can’t be memory-wiped by swiping an activity log. It’s interesting as fuck, is what I’m saying. Like the philosophical implications of the program being the disc and not the physical person—so Interesting!!!!!

- also the glitches are scary as Fuck. One moment you know what’s going on and then the next you don’t know anything?? Terrifying. And well portrayed by the episode, too, with the fisheye effect on Beck’s closeups and the general blurriness from his PoV.

- could have sworn Cobol was voiced by Ron Perlman, but it was some person I’ve not heard of instead. Doing one heck of a Perlman impression, tbqh.

- Lux is EXTREMELY INTERESTING TO ME. Siren who’s gotten caught up in the black market?? INTERESTING. Also she’s a whole hell of a lot more principled than Cobol, because when she sees Tron it’s like everything changes for her. Also the shaved head is just badass looking.

- meanwhile, a three scene B plot with Zed and Mara!! That took up like six minutes of episode time. Like okayyyyy. Turns out I didn’t need to be so worried about Zed joining the anti-Renegade taskforce, because it turns out Mara kind of guilted him into doing the right thing!!! Good for him I guess.

- Also someone commented on my last commentary post that Bartik here and Bartik in Legacy are the same character/program, and uh. Wonder how THAT happens, because damn. How does one go from happily helping Clu’s forces to hoping a revolution against Clu can be sparked into existence???? Color me intrigued as fuck.

- love Tron’s comments about Beck being his friend at the end there. Especially the bit about trusting someone as a friend and being betrayed, bc from what I know of later episodes, that could be like three different programs!!!! (Clu, like Beck assumes; Dyson I have heard was a friend turned enemy; and then Cyrus as well!! Again I have not watched the whole series and my last dip in was 10 years ago, but from what Discussion I have seen I am making some Assumptions.) also love the comment that he “made the right choice this time”, because that is just dripping with implications that I imagine pay off in future episodes…..

- other details: Purgos as the name of the black market district is interesting, with the obvious name tie to Xtian (or at least Catholic) Purgatory; wonder what the creators meant for us to take from that… // Galt was an interesting one off character; total sleazeball of course, but interesting nonetheless // ngl when they were surrounded by all of Cobol’s goons, I was kinda cackling because like. It’s Tron. Even scarred all to hell he’s gonna kick most of y’all’s asses.

- I am probably gonna watch this episode again with captions on so I can get helpful juicy deets for my TRON horror story fic idea. I gotta do some brainstorming on stuffs tonight for sure.

- that said the brainstorming might have to wait bc the next episode has Paige Backstory and also QUORRA sooooooooo…….. yeah

#tronblr #tron #tron: uprising #skye liveblogs things

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lilithyvenus · 21 hours ago

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talk your shit! silencing yourself is active self harm - pick a card reading

hi bambinos ❤️ thank you for your support! it's bittersweet to know the mother wound reading resonated, but i'm comforted by knowing it was helpful. now that it's a wednesday, let's address how holding our tongues tells our inner children that what they have to say still doesn't matter. even anger needs to be voiced. my Black women and nbs, i'm talking to you especially here.

for people with marginalized identities, you speaking up is the very least you can do for your ancestors. i'm southern african; my grandmas were maids for white south africans just 60 years ago, and for their own safety, they had to silence and censor themselves. i have had to recognize this and if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the people whose compliance ensured your presence here, now. you better fuck shit up!

channeled songs

- mad by solange

- under the table by fiona apple

- fsu by fidlar

- eartha by jamila woods

- wannabe by the spice girls

today's pile selection is my collage art :3

group one

the song referenced in the collage you chose is starring role by marina.

your cards: two of pentacles + five of cups + queen of cups in reverse + queen of pentacles

you seem to be under the impression that there's a time limit to grief and healing, and there isn't. please, if you're not talking about it because you fear everyone is tired of you bringing it up, where will the burden you're carrying live besides in you? it will always feel like we're doing too much when we give ourselves time to dwell in our sorrow because we're socialized to prioritize productivity over health. you don't need other people to validate you to make the pain justifiable – you feel it and that's enough. by talking to someone patient, you will let yourself gradually let more light in. i stress that they have to be patient, because you don't need someone who makes you consider for a second that you revisiting the grief over and over is burdensome. for those of you who feel alone in this, please use the kokobot here. it isn't 100% effective, but it's knowing that there's someone else put there who doesn't need to know you to be warm and supportive of you. baby yourself too! what tf are they gonna do, unbaby you?

channeled media

heartaches by patsy cline

do it for her from steven universe

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (2004)

the year of magical thinking by joan didion

wake up alone (the demo/original version) by amy winehouse

lonely comin' down by dolly parton

group two

the song referenced in the collage you chose is just the same but brand new by st vincent.

your cards: seven of pentacles + queen of pentacles in reverse + knight of pentacles in reverse + magician

you're allowed to be exasperated with the way things are going. did someone tell you you can't be pessimistic or it'll undo your manifestations? that is something people who already come from privilege say – of course you didn't have negative thoughts, bank of mum and dad is always on it! you're putting the physical work in but you aren't seeing the progress you like, and both that lack of physical progress and your annoyance are okay! please talk about it, rant and rave about it, but don't let yourself lose hope completely. you might be too focused on one aspect that isn't where you want it to be, but don't minimize what you've accomplished already. talk to your ancestors and guides. they are your relatives and they have your highest good in mind, they don't mind you ranting to them. in fact, outright ask them to show you how to shift your focus while they work in your favour. also, your words hold weight so you may as well affirm that your doubt doesn't chase away what is meant for you. also, idk who needs to hear this but sevdaliza has been making music for over ten years now and charli xcx for over fifteen, and they got their undeniable mainstream success last year. notably, both brown women embracing their outsider status. imagine if charli's legacy was boom clap.....

channeled media

there's gotta be something better than this from sweet charity

after the storm by kali uchis

fetch the bolt cutters + shameika by fiona apple

waiting for godot (if you can, watch a bootleg of the stage play)

rhode by sevdaliza

group three

the song referenced in the collage you chose is window seat by erykah badu. it's also inspired by the rock scene in everything everywhere all at once.

your cards: seven of pentacles + six of swords in reverse + knight of wands + strength

is someone dealing with a fuckboy? i hope they die. that's not a bit, i'm so serious. but in general, someone is playing in your face and there's only so much diplomacy you can practice when the other person can't respect you enough to at least let you know they can't deliver + give you what you need. would you do what they're doing to someone else, especially someone you claim to hold dearly? we often fall into the trap of projecting our morals onto other people, and we get hurt because unfortunately, some people have no home training. this person needs a tongue lashing and don't spare yourself. the relief you are going to feel after telling them about themselves is worth it. actually, it's what you deserve since they can't deliver or even own up to their failing you.

channeled media

stfu! by rina sawayama

gettin' in the way by jill scott

army of me (feat. skunk anansie) by bjork

bossy by kelis

these boots are made for walking by nancy sinatra

1, 2, 3 & tut tut tut by the tuts

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b66clematis · 3 months ago

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those 2 P5 spinoffs (and its old men faceoff), pt 3: "what strikers can learn from tactica (spoiler: it's writing)"

last part of this series of writings between strikers VS tactica. see part 1 about which i like more here, and part 2 on between zenkichi and toshiro here. this one will be long though, and i don't intend to cut it again into 2 parts, as this series is long already.

now, while i did end up liking strikers more by overall, upon playing tactica, something btiters me about strikers. something that made me think of "damn man, strikers kinda sucked here badly, not gonna lie".

the first one is minor and not will be the focus here, but still gripped me: the UI. i liked how tactica has its a more distinguishable identity to their UI aesthetic. strikers meanwhile, feels really trying to follow what the base game has. my least favorite thing is the metaverse animation transition. the one strikers had is like a bad knock-off of the base game (the circles should have different weight and size!!!), it made me wish that strikers would just do a totally new animation, like what tactica did with its lava-bubbly effect. it's not mementos' metaverse anymore, anyway. even maruki's metaverse has its own effect.

the second, and my main point here, is the writing. the first thing that bugged me is, of course, how tactica's plot structure is not a P5 basegame rehash. even the first boss, which people thought is going to be "a sexual assaulter because they're pink skinned and has revealing/suggesstive outfit", doesn't feel like a kamoshida rehash. alice is definitely better and have a very different motive to harrass the powerless, but i always thought her BDSM-related writing always feel forced, as if they just want to make her pattern reminiscent of kamoshida. marie's real life counterpart at least isn't shown to be that kind of "horrible dominant" woman to toshiro. she's more like okumura with only a sprinkle of alice, if anything. which, hey, at least it breaks the mold more than what alice did.

although, i personally still loved with what we got for strikers. i think their approach, while fell in some aspects, also feels like "what can we appraoch differently, or maybe improve from the base game?". i just wish that they... maybe, avoid the 7 deadly sins pattern? make the first boss not another pink sexual assaulter? i think they can tread P5's water less. they already have a good concept by making the bosses sympathetic and using that as the game's angle, so i think they can be bolder in making their own story beats.

the second point of the second point (LOL) here is... i think there's a jarring quality between how koei tecmo and atlus writes the base game's characters (i don't know who are the writers for tactica - i think i read somewhere that at least one of them is outsourced, but at least it's picked and the game is mainly made by atlus themselves, so i assume more control). the two characters that i find to glow up the most from strikers to tactica are lavenza and futaba.

for lavenza... man, strikers lavenza is SO BORING. she's literally doing nothing but to guide you. and it doesn't help that she's guiding you with vague wordings, which kind of irks me. she's just there. i'm also irritated at how they wrote joker to always keep secret about talking to lavenza in the velvet room in strikers, when the entire party member already knew about the velvet room, igor, and lavenza in the base game! and i think, he should have introduced lavenza to sophia and zenkichi too.

in tactica, at least you see her having a bit more fun by trying to keep up with human lingo, remodifying her velvet room, and.. trains. i like trains [gets crashed by a train]. and joker doesn't gatekeep the velvet room from the team. erina and toshiro are also permitted to the velvet room (although to be fair, the plot kind of forces them to, otherwise there's no way they'll reach salmael). although in terms of lavenza's character, i can probably forgive them due to the lack of materials during strikers' development. you didn't get much time with lavenza, and you only get more of that in royal's 3rd semester expansion (which, she also gets to be silly there). probably the strikers writers are also as confused on what to do with her.

now, for futaba... wow. i think she really becomes BETTER here. i don't get people who whined how annoying futaba is for speaking in geeky references, beause like... she does the same in the base game, come on. she likened the real life like a game. her geeky lingo does not flanderize her at all, she's been like that since her arc in the base game. in strikers, i think she's the one that gets the least treatment (there's also another one, but we'll talk about it in the end).

she got her moment during the capture of the phantom thieves in kyoto jail and having to get zenkichi to them safely, but i thought 1) it was too brief, and 2) her talk pre-zenkichi's awakening about her mother feels... tacked. it's as if the writers go "oh shoot, we forget futaba's mother also died by a politican via car crash, quick put it in". i suppose it's due to how the writing have conditioned that each arc will be meant for a character, and while kyoto arc is about zenkichi, akane's circumstance made us think that this arc is about makoto, because the sapporo-okinawa trip mini arc looks it's dedicated for her. she also talks on a similar amount to zenkichi here. i think this could be fixed if futaba talks a bit more about it during the sapporo-okinawa trip mini arc. besides, i found her suddenly talking about her mother to zenkichi is weird, because we have never seen futaba saying anything about her mother. unless zenkichi does some detective work behind the camera (which seems to be the case, as zenkichi just connects like that), zenkichi won't know that futaba's mother died from car crashed planned by the government.

i actually think that futaba may do this due to her inability to communicate properly to others, so she may be holding off from saying things that... who knows how the other party will react. makoto thought explaining that she also went through a similar thing to akane would comfort her, but turns out it triggers akane a little bit, instead (due to lacking context of the case's behind the scenes). however, tactica gets this and still does the job right.

to recall kingdom 2, we got a geist on toshiro's mother, how she died, and how toshiro was blamed for her death. futaba definitely wanted to say something when she sees this memory. she talks about it, but she ends up holding it off. you get the intention that she wants to say something, but she couldn't. she looks frustated and has something to say. i think futaba has this moment too in strikers - she teared up when she heard akane's story during the study session with makoto. but she says nothing at all, so it comes off like she's just touched by it. she doesn't try to say anything to akane nor zenkichi.

and later on in kingdom 3, when toshiro finally unlocks all of his traumatic past and ends up thinking that he's a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be saved, futaba's emotion bottled up. it's full, and it has to be spilled. so she did - she slapped toshiro. with anger. she's done with holding it off and seeing toshiro falling down this easily. and what's great from this moment isn't just about how it shows the writers know what to do with futaba - it also has a good build up. it's not just a brief moment of "this character relates to the current plot". it's one done in a long run. it's so good that i have to put the snippet here.

these two really made me think that, goddamn. no matter how good is your third-party writer, the ones hired by atlus themselves and worked with the actual atlus writers will always get the characters better. like, koei tecmo did a good job in expanding characters that they intend to focus on to give them more spotlight, but the expense was a bit too much. the ones who don't get any are really left out. it kind of comes off as if the writers only know futaba the most for being a geeky girl, when IMO she has one of the most emotional arc in the base game. i also liked how all the characters got a roughly similar amount of spotlight in tactica, but i think this is just about preferences on how they approach the character focus. once again, strikers focuses more on giving spotlight for characters that are less-hyped by the fans, and they did it well. tactica just picks a more balanced approach by dunking all the kids' traumas to one old man. so yeah. i really wish for the next game, at least to have a more direct or strict overseeing from atlus.

now, the only issue both games have is... i think both games kind of forget that ryuji has an abusive dad, i think? surprised that ryuji still talks more about his school's bad enviroment more than his own family. this glaringly happens in strikers though, in which... i don't know man, i think ryuji should spat out his words more for konoe's dad. that guy literally murdered his own wife, man. but that F-word moment really saved him from falling into the same trap futaba has - although, that also only happens in the EN localization, who are familiar with that running joke. who knows what will happen, if we got a localization that are not familiar with it. i hope atlus gives him more spotlight too, at least for the international fans (i get that he's not popular in japan, and i think it's understandable. not a big issue to me). here's to hoping!

#R29 P5

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fohatic · 2 months ago

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don't mind if i do.....

there are still beautiful things by @meidui

The day Tony takes Steve home from the New York Army National Guard is the best day of his life.

the hope that kills you (series) by @meidui

Steve used to go on so much about freedom and choice. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. Some of the freedom he loved was big, big enough for him to lay his life down for over and over, and some of the freedom he loved was small, like the wind in his hair when he took his motorcycle out, but now he has to sob and take it when Tony sucks a deep flowering bruise where his prison uniform couldn’t possibly cover and whispers in his ear, “Who’s gonna help you now? Where are you gonna run?”

The Prize by @sabrecmc (HOWWWW IS THIS NOT ON ANY OF THESE LISTS YET)

Steve ends up as a concubine in the royal harem.

Deep End by @festiveferret

SHIELD has found a way to make Project Rebirth work - something Tony's father was never able to accomplish. An unexpected side effect has Fury begging Tony for some rather unusual help: the painful procedure has put their volunteer, a sub called Steve Rogers, so deep into subspace he can't come up on his own.

Tits Aren't Just For Ladies by Dr_Amuly ( @everybodyilovedies)

Tony fucks Steve's tits (man-tits, no genderswap or implants or anything).

(Not for) Public Consumption by Poose

“Can’t you like, I don’t know, do a little pirouette for me, sweetheart?” He shuffles backwards cautiously, glancing over his shoulder to avoid hitting the wall. There’s a chair back there, he should sit in it before his legs give out. Steve cocks his head, hand on his hip. He puts his front foot at angle to the one in back and executes a tired swing around. You’d think he’d like the attention a bit more. Tony may have to goad it out of him. “Steve, seriously, you’re like a bored stripper.” And then, suitably affronted, Steve takes another turn, more slowly, so that Tony can pan down and zoom in on his ass from a slightly lower angle. *** Or, Steve and Tony make a sex tape. Exactly as sophisticated as it sounds. A non-powered AU of another AU that I haven't written yet. Contains zero plot.

Surrender Yourself by xWinterDreamsx

Tony has Steve tied up in ropes for some kinky fun.

Some Great Reward by @kiyaar

After the events of Captain America: Civil War, Tony and Steve come to an agreement. It doesn't involve affection.

Come on Closer by @epiphanyx7

[[... porn.]] Or, the one where Steve wants to talk to Tony about something important.

Leave Your Marks Written Upon My Skin by blue_jack ( @some-blue-jack)

“I want you to keep your hands right here, alright?”

Keep Us Warm, Tonight by @copper-mouth

Steve and Tony often keep late hours together when sleep won't come to either of them. Tonight is shaping up to go a little differently, however.

Working Late by @tinystark616

Some nights, Tony stays up late, building and rebuilding and upgrading his suits, until Steve walks into the workshop, usually already in his pajamas, and wraps his arms around Tony, kissing him until he forgets what he was doing and then dragging him to bed. A fill for the prompt "Steve sits in Tony's lap and rides him" from last year's Community Gifts prompt list. Because there's really not enough bottom!Steve in the world.

Ship to Shore by @mserm

The Avengers beat Thanos. Everyone is safe. (If you don’t count those five days they thought Natasha was dead.) All that’s left is to return the stones, a feat that Tony is sure will end his new friends-with-benefits relationship with Steve.

Consecration of the Virgin by @dracusfyre (sequel to The Penitent Man)

Steve gives his body into Tony's keeping. For the good of his soul, of course.

In The Springtime of His Voodoo by shaenie

“I’m removing Captain Rogers from this base, but not from active duty. I want him as SHIELD’s liaison to Stark Industries first and foremost. He’ll report directly to me,” Fury says. “As it is, your identity as Captain America is not public knowledge and it will remain that way until I say otherwise. That said, if you think you can get Tony Stark to work with you if you disclose that information, you have permission to do so.”

heyyy！i just saw u reblog an ask and it just happened to be the exact same thing I wanted to ask👉👈 do u have and recommend stony fics that are top Tony/bottom Steve 🥺

you know i do!! see also k's rec list and bulky's rec list, i tried not to rec any that were already on their lists <3

Jackpot by @elcorhamletlive

It’s not always like this.

Tony leans back on the bed, assessing his view. Near the door, balanced on his knees, Steve stares at him with half-lidded eyes, blue eyes darkened under those beautiful eyelashes. His blonde bangs stick a little to his forehead, where a glimmer of sweat is evidence of how long he’s been in that position: knees firmly planted on the rug of Tony’s bedroom, naked aside from a pair of cotton black briefs, hands tied up behind his back, exactly as Tony left him this morning. He breathes heavily, his muscular chest going up and down as he watches and waits.

Doubling Up (Steve) by @elcorhamletlive

“Well,” Tony drawls, his gaze going from the bed to where Steve, and, uh, Tony are standing, next to the small pile where Steve’s shirt lies along with his trousers. “This is awkward.”

Chamber of Reflection by @thahiree

A few years after retiring, Steve and Tony get a surprise visit from another Steve. Steve Rogers from Earth 1610 is lost, grappling with the new century he’s been unceremoniously dropped in, with confusing feelings for his new teammate, with himself.

Steve and Tony decide to get involved.

A Proportional Response by @mserm

Steve doesn't have a reason for cock-blocking Tony.

No reason, whatsoever.

It's Hard To Look Right At You, Baby by Albuss

“Woah,” Tony says, “slow down. Take it easy. Hold your horses.” He can be forgiven for saying the same thing four times because he is already completely, utterly wrecked.

“Fuck me,” Steve whispers. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”

Five Times Steve Woke Up Early (And One Time He Didn’t) by @airlocksandaviaries

Steve's not actually a morning person, despite his body's insistence. It's quite possibly the one thing about the serum he's not immensely grateful for. Forcing himself up and on a run to burn through the overwhelming, restless energy that builds bright and early would be much more tolerable if it were a few hours later. Tony decides to do something about this.

Underneath it All by @hollyandvice

Steve's finally ready to indulge Tony's fantasy of seeing him in a thong. He just has terrible timing when it comes to implementing sexy times. But that's alright, Tony's a master of making the best of a (not actually) bad situation.

the year you were mine by @areiton

The night that changes his life forever, Steve is on a date with another man.

Or: Steve is a pricy escort and Tony buys him for a year. Neither of them are doing this for love.

a thousand things you call me by @areiton

He calls you a thousand things, and you love them all, count them all and guard them close, because with each he calls you mine.

Your Reputation Precedes You by @vanilla-shoes

Tony agrees to watch the desk for the salon next door to his garage as a favor -- but when he meets the salon owner's fiery best friend Steve, maybe the favor is for Tony after all...

Brooklyn After Dark by darefanny

”I could do that”, Steve had said before his brain could catch up to his big, stupid mouth. He had leaned over Tony’s shoulder to look closer at a photo of a man in lingerie on his tablet.

Slow Burn Fireworks by felisnocturna

Tony fucks him incredibly slowly this time.

praise you like I should by @firebrands

steve gets de-serumed for a hot second, but tony's pretty quick to reassure him of all his lovely traits. (made even better by having to sleep in a shitty motel with a mirror on the bed.)

Suds 'n Studs by @fohatic

Tony didn't mean to hire some super hot, young guy to take his clothes off for money -- honestly! He just wanted somebody to wash his cars! But accidents happen when you let your AI do the hiring for you, apparently. Now the recent divorcee has an awkward apology to make. He also has as an invitation to subscribe to Steve's OnlyFans. What he doesn't have is any clue what he should do in this situation.

In Too Deep by @fohatic

Steve knew that he was asking for trouble when he agreed to let the gallery auction off a date with him for charity, but he needed to get in the director's good books if he wanted to make it as an artist in this cutthroat town. He never imagined that his participation would ignite an outrageous bidding war, or that the infamous, billionaire ex that he hadn't seen since their sudden breakup two years prior would show up and stake his claim.

the thorn in his side by @fohatic

It had been there from the beginning. There was no end to it, that mutual wanting between them—forever unresolved—that had grown so terribly soft and unbearably romantic with age...

But there was an unspoken rule between them, as well: an understanding that they could never act on it.

That is, until an alien parasite's brood nest gets violently dislodged from its Chitauri Leviathan host during the Battle of New York, dispersing its contents directly over two time-jumping tourists who are very much in the wrong place and the wrong timeline.

pull me down by breakeven

He doesn’t mean to pull, is just brushing through the locks there as a means of comfort, to show Steve that he’s still there and present with him, that Tony is just as affected by the wet grasp of Steve’s hole as Steve is by the insistent pressure against his prostate

wind me up by breakeven

Steve hadn’t known it, but apparently Tony could tell after the first time they ever fucked. He could see in Steve the need to please, the need to be of some sort of service, and had known that it would translate perfectly in sexual desires, even when Steve hadn’t had a clue himself.

honey from your hive by meidui

"Steve, stop that," Tony says, sounding strangled as his grip tightens and Steve stops, letting Tony grab his face and tilt him up. "You're kind of scaring the crap out of me. What is it? What's going on with you?"

"We blew up the lab," Steve manages, and something dawns on Tony's face. "Everyone had a reaction 'cept me. Think 'm having it now."

Blushes Per Hour by @blossomsinthemist

Steve chewed on his bottom lip. “Well, no,” he said. “Um, but.” He was breathing heavily now, through his nose. “Rachel liked it when I did it, because she has, uh, she has sensitive breasts, and I, um, err. Sometimes I’d pull on my own nipples during, or, or after, on my own, and. And I’d imagine—wonder, really, if I was. If I had enough, or—”

“Are you saying you’ve fantasized about this?” Tony said, and he couldn’t help the pure delight that came through in his tone, because had he actually stumbled onto one of Steve’s kinks, here? He’d never let on at all before, not at all.

Please Please Me by @blossomsinthemist

Steve looked so beautiful flushed and wanting, on his knees, begging.

Failing To Not Fall by @nvrthlessthsun

Steve was failing to not fall in love with Tony Stark.

AKA the one where Steve thinks he's Friends-With-Benefits with Tony, and Tony thinks he's dating Steve.

Paint Job by @valdomarx

“You want me to what?” Steve looked incredulous. “I want you to detail my car,” Tony said with a smirk.

Relax, Darling by @valdomarx

Steve is stressed and tense after a hard mission.

Luckily for him, Tony and his tongue are available to relax him in a variety of delightful ways.

Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd, Four’s a Party by @valdomarx

How to satisfy the secret desires of a horny supersolider:

Ults Steve gets gangbaged by Tony from four different universes (Ults, MCU, AA and 616).

Mark Sixty-Nine by @everybodyilovedies

Tony is irritated that Steve's first hug-and-fly wasn't with him. As the source of many of Steve's other "firsts", Tony has a brilliant idea of how he could take one more. Specifically, Steve's first time being fucked by a machine.

Afternoon Delight by @greyduckgreygoose

Tony watched with narrowed eyes as Rogers nodded politely to Natasha. They exchanged quick, familiar smiles, which suggested that they knew each other better than the acquaintances they seemed to want Tony to think they were. Up close, Rogers was even more attractive than he had appeared on camera, a touch of blonde stubble along his jaw, large square hands.

He also had a nice ass, not that Tony was particularly staring.

“Mr. Stark,” Natasha said, as they both stood before Tony’s desk. “May I introduce Steve Rogers? Or, if you prefer, Captain America.”

The Sixth Time is the Charm by @onemuseleft

The fifth time Steve tried to get Tony to fuck him (and failed) is when he started taking it personally.

Your Kind of Love by blue_jack

The first time they have sex, Tony isn’t really hoping for much.

#BOTTOM STEVE FEAST INCOMING 🍴🤤🍴#(whoops just saw that bulky already rec'd 'in the springtime...' but yanno -- it deserves a duplicate rec!)#stony #fic rec #my fanfic #suds n' studs #in too deep #the thorn in his side

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lone-wolf-no-more · 2 years ago

Text

Attention Wars: A New Hope

Tuesday, February 7th, 2023

Admittedly, I’m feeling a bit more hopeful today. I believe that’s largely due to the fact that I finally seem to have both trading bots up and working. And I’m of course insanely encouraged by the extremely positive response I got from Cheri and the Discord on the little music video I created. I honestly had a moment of self-doubt, because especially when I’m trying to create something under a time-crunch, I tend to be my own biggest critic, and yes, I’ll admit it, I STILL struggle hardcore with worrying about rejection and criticism.

So, the thing that I know is needful, is my ability to stay the course, and trust the process, even on those days when things “go wrong”, or when somebody speaks out of turn, and says something maybe a bit off-color to me. Again, daily mindfulness and affirmations seem to be helping with that, and in extension, helping me step into my new identity as somebody who stands behind their actions and does things with full confidence. When somebody misjudges me, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m doing something to the best of my ability, or that maybe if I stopped and took a breather, I could learn a lesson from what they said.

There are no “bad days”, just teachable days. No losses, just lessons. In the case of trading and learning a skill, losses or mistakes literally HAVE to happen for you to realize things. Today I watched a super successful day trader completely stay out of the market. He said, “I am NOT going to try to claim that I know what it’s going to do right now. Even IF you think you see something and you enter, and even if it goes your way, it’s the equivalent of fighting against the wind the whole way. It isn’t worth your mental capital. It’s far better to admit that you don’t know what to do, and just sit on your hands. I am telling you what my 20-year-old self should’ve known when they thought skill was making them win, instead of dumb luck.” So there you go, a “crappy day” had to happen so that I could hear that.

I’m waking up feeling very hazy, and I definitely can attribute that in large part to my digestion being off, once again. While I’ve not deviated from the usual daily Huel drinks and smoothies, I am spacing them out more.

It isn’t doing my stomach or bladder any good to not have at least an hour to an hour and a half between my smoothies or drinks, because they obviously have a liquid base.

Doesn’t benefit my body to have so much water and food so close together. So I believe being disciplined in that “small way” is definitely helping combat sudden afternoon sluggishness and brain fog. I will admit that I think that the morning “kick” I’m getting from my smoothie could be partly due to the sugars in the fruit and the honey, with the latter probably being the bigger factor. I guess my excuse at this point is that it’s far better than the negative effects that caffeine has on me. That much is true at least.

Eissac told me today what I was basically already thinking. That especially as a guy, we’re hardwired to be drawn to movement. So the whole, “I looked at the TV for a split-second so I failed” is indeed overkill.

That being said, I’m still going to call this Day 1, since I was awake past 10PM last night. I did put more stringent time parameters on my phone for everything.

Eissac says he’s going to try starting a print-on-demand business, which honestly sounds pretty cool.

That appeals to my artistic side as well. Honestly, I would love to do something like that (or just something that gets my creative juices flowing), but my brain is basically focused on the shorter-term goals of what I need to do to make money and get a couple income streams going first. Not gonna lie though, I get excited, like REALLY excited when I think about writing my own music, or radio dramas, or creating things in general. Outside of tech, for example, I would love to build a cabin sometime. I did a little construction work back in the day off and on, and I found that I loved working with my hands and building things. But yeah, I'm suuuper excited for you, and hope that business goes well for you, and that you can stick with it and see it through till it is profitable.

Apparent he’s struggling a bit with “spacing out” as well, so kudos to him for not letting that faze him.

While I do think some of my “spacing out” issues are diet-related (like, my digestion is off, so it can mess with my focus and alertness), I partly understand what he means.

Even before my accident, I would get into trouble for drifting off into daydreaming. But more recently I have had the problem of being grounded in the moment, and forgetting what I'm doing moment to moment once I leave my computer. Like, I'll get into a flow state while I'm working on my computer (especially with this Bach organ music I have on now. Hardcore bro lol), but when I leave, my mind gets a bit ADD. Like, I'll start one chore, and then get distracted by starting another. Or, I'll set my phone down, and two seconds later, forget where I put it, and so on. I do believe that over time that between diet, exercise, and mindfulness, I can and will be cured of that.

I would go so far as to say that exercise and movement is in itself a form of mindfulness. You are more mentally aware and connected with your nervous system and your body in that moment, more aware of how things are moving, and how they are moving in relation to each other. I think that's why I've heard some people say that their "daily mediation" is exercise itself. Because it puts them into a flow state, and forces them to be present.

Another thing I'm going to change: sticking with at least one 15 to 20 minute mindfulness session each day, as opposed to trying to do it in the morning, and one time later. Basically, when I wake up in the morning at 8:30 ( must at least do this Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday when I trade) very soon after, I have to be on the charts and ready to go. And then, there are days where I get caught up in work, and I can't immediately drop everything and do a session before noon. I probably should still do it, to be honest. But I think that I shouldn't be so stringent on the rules as to when it should happen. Again, it's about longer-term sustainable habits, ones that are feasible. And one quality, focused session of mindfulness goes a very long way to improving my overall focus, mood, and of course, compounds over time in improving your mental well-being.

Something else just occurred to me. Eissac mentioned today how he’s going to write things down, and eliminate ideas until he has one final one he likes the most. So MUCH of life is like that. Our life ironically becomes more complete not necessarily just because we keep adding things, but because we take away what isn't working, or helping us. Kinda like what I was saying with eliminating the "bad hours" for the trading bot. And then, of course, if you're replacing the unhelpful things with what is moving the needle forward, so to speak, soon you find your life has become more of what you know you actually want it to be. Little by little you’re replace that “bad carburetor” with a brand spanking-new one, those worn out tires with ones with tread, and so on, till you have a completely new, amazing vehicle. This of course can apply to both your body, and to your life as a whole.

And this is by far a better alternative to having a life that you just want to escape.

Again, I’m waking up to each day, and finishing each day, with far less of a feeling of regret, of feeling like time is just slipping away from me. Because that’s the mindset of a spectator, of a victim. And that just IS NOT me anymore!!!!

I feel bad for making you read through this and still not have that video I promised. Good news is that my computer is now processing it. Bad news is that it’s still processing it, and I have only 9 minutes till 9, and I still need to get this post up for Eissac.

So, in the meantime, keep putting in the work, and remember that you got this!

Music for Today:

Tuesday, February 7th, 2023

It isn’t doing my stomach or bladder any good to not have at least an hour to an hour and a half between my smoothies or drinks, because they obviously have a liquid base.

That being said, I’m still going to call this Day 1, since I was awake past 10PM last night. I did put more stringent time parameters on my phone for everything.

Eissac says he’s going to try starting a print-on-demand business, which honestly sounds pretty cool.

Apparent he’s struggling a bit with “spacing out” as well, so kudos to him for not letting that faze him.

While I do think some of my “spacing out” issues are diet-related (like, my digestion is off, so it can mess with my focus and alertness), I partly understand what he means.

And this is by far a better alternative to having a life that you just want to escape.

So, in the meantime, keep putting in the work, and remember that you got this!

Music for Today:

Tuesday, February 7th, 2023

It isn’t doing my stomach or bladder any good to not have at least an hour to an hour and a half between my smoothies or drinks, because they obviously have a liquid base.

That being said, I’m still going to call this Day 1, since I was awake past 10PM last night. I did put more stringent time parameters on my phone for everything.

Eissac says he’s going to try starting a print-on-demand business, which honestly sounds pretty cool.

Apparent he’s struggling a bit with “spacing out” as well, so kudos to him for not letting that faze him.

While I do think some of my “spacing out” issues are diet-related (like, my digestion is off, so it can mess with my focus and alertness), I partly understand what he means.

And this is by far a better alternative to having a life that you just want to escape.

So, in the meantime, keep putting in the work, and remember that you got this!

Music for Today:

youtube

Was first introduced to this song in 2021 when I stumbled into one of Ashley's Twitch streams. Ashley is a musician with a heart of gold, and I'm always uplifted when I attend her streams and hear her put her own artistic spin on songs you have have heard, or just hear her sing her own great originals. Do you yourself and favor and attend one sometime! :)

This song has become like a beacon of warmth and hope on tough days.

Toodaloo.

#Youtube

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