#of course Carmy would be overwhelmed!

[yezzyyae]

😒😒🤦🏾‍♀️ smh once yall realize that Carmy & Sydney will never be a couple yall will understand the show much better.

No like I’m totally fine I definitely haven’t been obsessing over how Claire is a literal manifestation of Camry’s past and his desire to be closer to his brother cause Mikey wanted Carmy to go for her when he’d been alive. And no I’m totally not thinking about how that clinging to Claire/the past is his way of avoiding Sydney who represents innovation, The Future, his life without Mikey, The Bear and Camry’s fear of his own possible success.

[yellowharrington]

all i really want (is you) -- carmy berzatto x reader

pairing + fandom: carmen "carmy" berzatto x reader, the bear fx

word count: 3k

warnings: smut! 18+, minors pls dni. afab!reader with pullable hair, no use of y/n. light daddy kink and dom/sub undertones. spanking, exhibitionism, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected piv + creampie, reader and carmy both drink alcohol. please let me know if i missed anything :)

a/n: this is depraved. thanks @wtfsteveharrington for reigniting my need to write about carmy lmao. title is from "all i really want is you" by the marias. please leave comments or reblogs if you liked it <3

divider by @cafekitsune

summary: carmy secretly books a lake-front hotel room in chicago for your anniversary.

Carmy would be the first to admit he’s not very good at being romantic.

He forgets, lets things slip through the cracks, time and time again. He makes up for it, and you understand of course, but he’s working on it.

When your anniversary is approaching, he knows he has to make a plan. Busy with the restaurant, the menu, the money - all of it was overwhelming, but your not-so-subtle reminder of the date gave him the idea.

“So…” you had joined him in your shared kitchen, hand brushing through his curls as he slaved over a pan sauce he’d been perfecting.

“Yes?” He wasn’t annoyed - never annoyed, by you - but in the thralls of cooking, nonetheless.

“It’s our anniversary next weekend and I was thinking we’d try out that new restaurant you were talking about. You know… the one that’s suuuuuper hard to get a reservation at?” You smiled coyly as he held out the spoon with the hot liquid on it, wordlessly asking you for a taste-test. 

“Sounds good,” he had remarked, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek and returning to the task at hand. “I’ll make a call.”

“Thank you, Carm,” you let your hands roam his clothed back as you feel the sauce between your lips and on your tongue. “That’s delicious.”

He hummed in response, as your hands drifted down to his sides and played at the hem of his t-shirt. “After our anniversary dinner I have a little… present for you.”

Before he could respond, you had slipped away to the bedroom, only flashing him a smirk before closing the door.

The weekend of your anniversary had approached quickly, and Carmy had actually managed to get everything in place. The reservation for dinner was set, his gift burning a hole in his pocket, and thoughts of what your gift to him may entail swirling around in his head. 

You walked out of your shared bedroom, adorning a black dress that hugged your body perfectly. Jewelry to match - done up just right, effortlessly perfect for the occasion. His hand came up to his mouth as he took you in, thanking whatever God above that brought you to him.

“Too much?” You asked, toying with your hair in the mirror and correcting the edge of your lipstick. 

“No,” Carmy answered, coming up behind you in the mirror and admiring your form. “Perfect.”

You felt yourself blush as he took your hand and held it to his lips, kissing your knuckles and pulling you into him. “Ready?” 

~

Dinner came and passed, shared glasses of wine between the two of you as you reminisced about past times together. Carmy had always been shy, but easy to talk to, especially when he had some time to open up. You gave him space to do that - he’d never felt more comfortable with anybody before, somebody he trusted with everything. You listened, told him what he needed to hear when he needed to hear it, and kept him in check all while supporting him from the sidelines and meshing perfectly into his insane life. He was eternally grateful for finding you.

He slides a small box across the table at dinner, and when you open it up, you gasp at what’s inside. A dainty necklace, a glossy “C” hanging on the end of it, where it would sit against your chest. 

You let his deft fingers close the tiny clasp behind your neck, the pendant hanging perfectly, glimmering in the amber candlelight of the restaurant. “You’re gonna make me cry,” you laugh through a watery smile, Carmy’s hand crossing the table to slide into yours. Warm skin against warm skin, you smile at his small display of affection, tilting your glass towards him as he clinked it with yours. 

You notice something might be up when you get back into his car, and he doesn’t take the turn off back to your shared apartment. Instead, he veers off into another lane, holding onto your thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze for encouragement. 

You’re down by the water now, making a confused expression at your surroundings. City lights around you, the bustling of other people on dates or nights out, as Carmy pulls into the parking lot of a hotel. 

“What are we doing here?” You look at the people stepping into the hotel lobby, some dressed in clothing that was probably more than your rent. He wordlessly turns off his car and exits through the driver’s side, saying something to the valet before grabbing a bag out of the back seat and rounding back to your side. He opens the door for you and takes your hand, before leading you through the doors and into the grand front lobby.

Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling above as he took your hand and lead you to the front desk, a confused scowl still across your features. The person at the front desk waved you two over, typing something into the computer. “Good evening. Checking in?”

Carmy nods, handing over his ID and credit card before smiling down at you.

“We’re checking in?”

“Happy Anniversary.”

You have to make sure your mouth isn’t hanging open, as Carmy’s coy smile plays along his lips. 

“You didn’t have to do all of this,” you whisper to him, feeling heat spread across your cheeks as you take in your surroundings. Your hand slips into his as you press your cheek to his jacketed shoulder. “Let me show you to your room.”

An elevator ride to the top floor has you antsy, as the attendant opens the door for you to your room. She reveals a lake-front room, with views of the harbour, twinkling lights in the distance reflecting onto the massive floor-to-ceiling window. “Is it to your liking, Mr. and Mrs. Berzatto?”

A blush runs up your cheeks as the insinuation. Carmy didn’t correct her, just slipped her a tip and assured her the room was perfect. The door clicked politely behind you as you stepped into the room and kicked off your shoes. You turned around to meet Carmy’s eyes as his expression softened, your hands coming up to cup his face.

“I can’t believe you did this.” You’re breathless, still taking in this grand gesture he’d somehow planned completely behind your back.

“You deserve it,” he said simply, tongue darting between his lips as a strong hand came to overlap yours. 

~

The sun had gone down now, navy sky further illuminating the lights below. Rain slacked against the window, simultaneously hard and soft, the glow of the bedside lamps casting shadows on the walls as you got yourself settled. Carmy had abandoned his jacket and tie, leaving him in a crisp white button-up shirt and black slacks. He was laid back on the bed, one hand behind his head, taking some time to relax.

You dipped into the bathroom, smoothing out your hair and checking your makeup in the mirror. You undid the back of your dress and let it slip down your body into a pool on the tile, revealing the gift you’d picked out for Carmy. A black lace set - cupping your breasts perfectly. Lace panties to match, connected to stockings that came high up on your thighs. 

You stepped out, stocking-clad feet soft against the carpet. Carmy immediately notices, eyes blown wide as he sits up to take you in. 

“Thought you might want your gift now,” you sauntered towards him and met him at the end of the bed, his thighs spread for you to fit between them. His hands immediately came up to touch - to confirm you were real, mostly - because his brain was telling him you weren’t.

You looked down at him, cupping his chin with your hand and the other coming down to his shoulder. Pushing down on him gently, his back hit the mattress, wild eyes not moving off of you for even a second. 

You move to straddle his lap, fingers coming down to start unfurling the buttons on his shirt, revealing the soft skin of his chest. Carmy’s rough, calloused fingertips pressed into the plush skin of your hips, eyes wanting to flutter closed but being too entranced by the sight before him to look away. 

His fiery eyes fell to the swell of your breasts, hands coming up to press and squeeze at the skin there, thumbs ghosting over your hard nipples. You felt your back arch, pressing against his palms, wanting more, as much of him as you could get. 

Carmy’s hands slid down your body to find your clothed core, eliciting a small moan from your lips. You rutted into his hand slightly, feeling his skilful fingers start to work at you over the lace.

You weren’t expecting to give him the upper hand, but it was hard not to submit to his touch - wholly his, looking down at him but still feeling as though he had all the power.

He was sitting up now, pushing your panties to the side and feeling the slick between your folds, maintaining eye contact with you through it all. “Carm,” you panted, strained, embarrassed to be coming apart for him already.

As if he knew, he pulled away, wordlessly bringing his fingers up to your lips. You wrapped your mouth around them, letting your tongue dart between the digits as he wet them with your spit.

“Pretty girl,” he muttered, only loud enough for you to hear, earnest eyes looking up at you, fuzzy around the edges with lust. “My pretty slut, aren’t you?”

“Just for you,” you replied, a smirk on the corner of your lip as he swiftly grabbed your hips and flipped you to have your back on the soft hotel comforter.

He stood before you, giving you a chance to unbutton the rest of his shirt and undo his dress pants, his hand now cradling your chin. You pushed his slacks to the floor, rubbing his thick cock over the fabric of his black boxers. His hand came down to pet your hair, taking a fistful of it at the nape and pulling it back to reveal your shiny lips and eager eyes to him. The pendant he purchased for you glinted in the light.

“Tell me how bad you want it.”

His firm hand on the back of your neck was enough to make your cunt weep, even without his touch. “Please, I need your cock. Please.”

“Good girl. Sit up, all fours.”

You quickly found yourself on your knees on the soft bed, as he let his cock free. He pumped it a few times, angling your mouth with his grip to allow it to drop open. He pressed forward, slipping in between your wet lips and eliciting a carnal groan from his throat. You let yourself submit to his face-fucking, using your mouth to get himself off, leaking tip pressing against the back of your throat. You gagged around him, throat constricting, which only emboldened him to continue. Spit escaped the corners of your lips as you took him in, swallowing him down, all while looking up and batting your long lashes at him. 

“Taking it so good,” he remarked, with a particularly long thrust into your throat. Leaning forward, his broad hand found a fistful of your ass, squeezing it before planting a firm spank. A yelp escaped your lips, as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes from the force of him in your throat.  

He pulled you off, cock bobbing between his legs before he smeared the spit that had collected all over your plush lips. “So fucking good for me, baby.”

You smiled triumphantly as he leaned down to kiss you sloppily, mixing your spit with his and taking the time to undo your bra and throw it to the ground. 

You didn’t even mind when he pushed you back onto the bed, pulling the stockings and panties off to meet your bra on the floor, surely ripping them. His hands pushed your thighs apart, wet pussy on full display as he dove right in, not giving you even a second to catch your breath.

“Fu-uck,” your voice was hoarse and jagged, his warm tongue feeling like it was everywhere. You squirmed beneath his strong squeeze, forcing your back off the mattress as he licked a broad stripe up your centre and flashed his eyes up at you.

Your eyes were trained on his movements, knowing better than to close them. Your hand came down to his sandy curls, feeling your breath quicken as he suckled on your clit, moving his jaw in such a way that was sending an electrifying pulse up your spine.

He moved one hand from your thigh to circle your entrance with his middle finger, enjoying the way you shuddered at the feeling. “Please,” you begged, watching as he detached his tongue from your clit to simply play with your hole. “Please, I need you inside of me.”

His lips pursed as he waited for you to understand why he wasn’t proceeding. A knowing glance, a sob from you as he teased you. “Are you talking to me? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“Please, daddy. Please fuck me with your fingers.”

“That’s better.” He plunged into you, thick finger curling inside as you let out a choked sob, your cunt pulsing around him as he moved in and out. His lips attached to your clit once again, sucking and grinding his tongue into you, other hand coming up along your stomach to grab your tit and pinch your nipple.

You rasped his name, throat raw from his previous fucking, letting it pour out of your lips over and over. He lapped at you - feeling every quiver from your pussy and shake of your legs as he continued at a bruising pace, not letting up no matter how much you squirmed beneath him. Still pushing you into the mattress, his own cock rutting against the sheets and growing harder every second that his mouth is on you.

A white-hot feeling spread across the back of your thighs, back arched as you tugged on his hair and met his gaze. He rode out your high with you, letting you gush around his fingers and feeling waves of pleasure rise and fall as your breath steadied. Your chest heaving, sticky with sweat, mascara smeared at the edges as you laid back, feeling Carmy’s fingers pull out and his mouth detach from you.

He found himself between your thighs once more, rock-hard cock sliding between your slick folds to tease your overly sensitive clit. He kissed you, a hunger within him, arms coming up under you to hold you as close as possible. Bare skin against bare skin, his mouth sucking in your bottom lip and biting down slightly, eliciting a smile from you and a depraved moan from your lips.

You reached down between your two bodies and slipped his cock into your ready pussy, swallowing him inside of you and hearing his gasp against your lips at the friction. A shameless grunt as his hips drove into you relentlessly, his curls falling into your face as your head tipped back, letting his mouth attach to the side of your throat and suck a bruise into the soft skin beneath your ear. Your hands found the strong muscles of his back, digging them into his skin and finding your legs wrapping around his middle.

An assaulting pace, languidly in and out of you as you met his eyes, pure lust and fire behind them. You could see the idea flash across his eyes.

He pulled out of you gingerly, as you winced at the loss of contact. He pulled you up with him, towards the windows of the hotel room.

He lightly pushed you against the cold glass, earning a sinful moan from your lips as he took your hands hostage behind your back. The rain still pelted down outside, a symphony against your hard and fast breath.

“Why don’t you show all those people how you like to get fucked, huh? Show them what a slut you are?”

A devilish smile on your lips was met with your cheek against the glass, a broad palm on the opposite side of your face, as his cock slid back into your pussy with ease. Your ass was pushed out for him to land a firm slap on it once again, picking up his pace. His hand came around to push your legs apart, playing with your clit and drawing you close once again, as he released your hands to leave prints on the glass.

“Fill me up, please daddy,” you moaned, letting your head fall slack. “I want you to cum so fucking deep inside of me, fuck,” — another spank, paired with jagged thrusts as Carmy got closer to finishing — “fuck me like you own me, baby.”

“I do own you,” he growled, forehead pressed against your shoulder blades as he felt your pussy clench around him. “Cum baby, cum with all those people fucking watching you.” 

“You own me Carmen, I’m yours.” you chanted, turning around to meet his eyes. You watched his eyes glaze over and jaw hang open as his thrusts slowed, making a mess of your pussy as he came deep inside of you.

Your second orgasm followed soon after, cock twitching inside of you as you clenched around him. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder as you stepped away from the glass, legs unstable as a furious warmth came up over your cheeks.

After getting cleaned up together in the bathroom, he flicked off the light as you turned towards the window. His body pressed up against yours, arm secured around your waist as he peppered kisses along your neck and shoulders, musing about how beautiful you are.

“Best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he whispered, another kiss to the outer shell of your ear that made a shiver go up your spine. “I love you more than anything.”

You curled into him and listened to the relaxing rain, his steadying breath and strong arm lulling you safely to sleep.

[to-thelakes]

heard ( carmy berzatto x reader )

content warnings; depiction of panic attack and anxiety, mentions of suicide/death (mikey), reader gets a cut (but super minor)

summary; you've had a really overwhelming day and carmy has to calm you down from a panic attack he mostly caused

dropping this here and running, i'm in love with carmy berzatto, i'm so sorry

Working at the Beef was stressful. Usually, you didn’t mind. In fact, you loved it. The stress meant that you didn’t have time to overthink anything because you were being ordered to do a million things all at once. It was good. You loved it.

But not today. 

Carmy had given you a new recipe to learn and you were fucking up creating the pea puree. Somehow it always ended up too runny and no matter how you changed the temperature while you cooked or how long you left it to reduce, it turned out like shit. Runny, tasteless shit.

It was like the universe had decided to take a cosmic shit on your already fucked up day.

You had left the house at the ass crack of dawn and unintentionally woken up your roommate who had decided to call you and berate you for your entire journey on the L. It’s safe to say you were regretting your 12 month lease with the roommate from hell. But you tried your best to swallow down all the cruel words and carry on with your day.

Work had always been a good distraction but it was two hours till service started and you felt like you were already losing it. You were sure everyone could see how you were cracking under the pressure too.

As you tried to learn the new dish, Carmen would come over every five or so minutes to check on your progress, taste the dish and you could see him getting increasingly frustrated under the surface. 

He had been unusually calm since the start of the day but the cracks were beginning to show. Since everyone had come in, Marcus had been distracted by his desserts which meant he had ignored all his usual prepwork. Carmy had kindly tried to remind him that desserts was not his job yet. Then Sydney and Richie had been arguing all morning which Carmy, of course, found himself in the middle of that. 

On top of that, Richie had decided that today was the perfect day to bring up how Carmy shouldn’t have even owned this place. That it was Richie’s place and just because Mikey had left it to him didn’t mean shit.

That had riled Carmy up and the two had a screaming match in the front room before Carmy came stalking back through to the office. You knew that if you fucked up on more attempt at this sauce, he was gonna lose his shit at you. 

You had never been at the receiving end of his anger before so you knew that if he lost it, so would you.

So as you fired up the next attempt, you replayed every piece of advice that Carmy and Sydney had given you since the start of the day and tried your best. You really tried. Even if T had distracted you halfway through, you thought that the puree had come out perfect.

And you were relieved. Because in your attempt to create this dish, you had forgotten about the rest of your prep work. 

“Fuck,” You cursed under your breathe as you noticed Carmy heading your way. You knew that you were about to be shouted at, you could just tell, and you could feel the anxiety rising in your chest. You had just finished plating your latest attempt and the puree seemed to be at the right consistency. Hell, it even looked good. Your station was spotless and clean. There was nothing Carmen could be mad about.

Except for no prep work. 

You glared at the plastic tubs of veggies like they could have done anything to change your fate.

“How's it looking, Chef?” Carmy asked, a frustrated edge to his voice. You snapped your head towards him and forced a smile onto your face. The tension in the room seemed to increase ten fold at that action.

“Pretty sure I finally got it down, just need to finish prepping the veg and then I’m ready for service,” You responded, forcing a smile onto your face. Carmy nodded and you passed him a fork, slipping away to the box of veggies. This was probably going to take you until dinner service.

You really fucked up but you ignored the anxious feeling in your gut in favour of beginning your prepwork. With a knife in hand, you quickly began to chop. You were skilled with a knife. That had been the main thing you were good at, something that Carmen had praised you endlessly for in the few weeks he had been here.

So, you hoped that if you just got the prep done quickly and perfectly, it would alleviate some of the simmering anger.

But then you heard a fork clatter harshly against a plate and you whipped your head to look at him. There was no alleviating the anger now. He was a powder keg about to explode and you had just triggered it..

“It’s a simple fucking dish, Chef! How do you keep fucking this up?” He shouted as he stared at you. You were looking back down at your prepwork again, going back to chopping. He slammed his hand on the counter, “Hey!” The whole kitchen’s eyes were on you now, “Look at me when I’m talking to you,” He snapped. You stopped dead in your tracks, looked at him, wide-eyed. He had caught you off guard and that pissed him off even more, “It’s a fucking pea puree. I could make this when I was 12 and you still can’t get it fucking right! It’s so fucking simple. Do I need to fucking baby you through every step? Jesus fucking Christ! A toddler could do this better than you can and you’ve been at it for fucking four fucking hours. Stop wasting everyone’s time and if you can’t get it right then get the fuck out!” He snapped. You blinked at him, frozen to your spot, “Don’t just fucking stand there, get to work!” He slammed his hand on the side again.

You nodded, mumbled “Yes, Chef” and went back to prepping your veg as Carmy picked up your plate and threw the attempt at the dish in the bin. You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying not to feel the overwhelming anxiety that was making you dizzy. You couldn’t breathe.

Your whole body felt like it was on high alert, ready to give up at any given moment. You tried to suck in deep breaths but suddenly the kitchen felt too hot. You couldn’t do this. Sydney noticed.

“Go take a breather, I got this,” She came up beside you, hand on your shoulder. You shook your head, not wanting to disappoint Carmen even more. Prepwork was where you excelled, this is what you did best. You didn’t trust yourself to speak though, you could feel your chest restricting.

You continued chopping, it became more frenzy-like as Sydney glanced around. The whole kitchen had watched your interaction with Carmy, unsure how to react to it. Sydney didn’t know what to say.

But then you sliced your finger. You were moving too quickly, mind not being able to catch up with your hand quick enough to avoid the slice. You cried out as your knife clattered to the chopping board. You grabbed tissue and quickly wrapped it up as you stepped back.

“Go get a plaster, I’ll finish your prep,” Sydney reiterated as she gently pushed you away from your station. You shook your head, desperately trying to keep up. You couldn’t but then you felt the ground feel like it was tilting under your feet.

Maybe she was right. You needed to get out and so you went straight for the backdoor. You didn’t even bother to clean up your cut, just holding the tissue to it as you stumbled down the steps to the alley. 

Your back slammed against the wall as you sucked in breaths but it was like you couldn’t get enough oxygen. The tears started and you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t do it. You slowly slid down the wall, still squeezing the tissue over your cut. 

You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t do it. You were doomed to be a failure and you couldn’t fucking breathe and it was too hot.

Your arms wrapped over the top of your head, eyes squeezed shut as you desperately tried to take in deep breaths but you couldn’t. You just couldn’t. You were sure you were going to die like this. It would be the end of you.

In the fucking back alley of a shitty restauraunt with a shitty new owner and the last owner killed himself and you weren’t surprised. You couldn’t do this. You were choking on nothing.

Then a hand suddenly came to rest against your knee and your legs were being pushed down. You were trying to fight it, words of whoever it was coming through like they were trying to speak through water.

“You gotta breathe,” They said as they finally managed to break through your strength to straighten your legs out. You dropped your hands to your lap and when you looked up, Carmy was there. You felt the panic come back twice as hard and you turned your face away, bringing your knees back up. But he shoved them back down.

“Hey, hey,” His tone had softened. It didn’t seem as angry anymore and that terrified you. Angry men who pretended not to be were the worst kind of men. You still couldn’t breathe, the panic constricting your chest as you stared at your legs, “You gotta just breathe,” Carmy said as he reached out. He grabbed your hand, the bloody tissue still wrapped around your cut, “I know it’s hard,” He said as he glanced at your face. You were completely boneless, it was like your body had lost all its will to live.

Your world was tilting underneath you and you couldn’t think straight. Carmy’s touch was somewhat grounding though as he unwrapped the tissue and wiped the cut before putting a band-aid over it. It gave you something to focus on but you were terrified that he was going to scream at you.

“I’m sorry,” You managed through panicked breaths. He nodded, “I don’t know what’s wrong,” You choked out. The tears filling your eyes as you stared down at your bandaged hand. You still weren’t breathing right but the panic was slowly starting to fall away, “I keep trying but I can’t do anything right today,” You lifted your knees up again, wrapping your arms around your head again.

“You're constricting your throat,” He said as he nudged your knees again. He was sitting against the wall beside you, watching you. 

As frustrated as he was with you and as angry as he was that you couldn’t just make the fucking dish, he also didn’t like seeing you like this. He cared about everyone in his kitchen and the thought that he had given you a panic attack tore him up inside. He didn’t know how to express it. He had always been shit at apologies.

You straightened your knees out again, letting your arms rest against your thighs as you closed your eyes.

“I’m sorry, Chef,” You said after a beat, “I know I should have done my veg prep earlier and the recipe is easy. I’ve made pea puree before, ask Sydney, I just- I don’t know why I can’t get it right today,” You muttered. Carmy looked at you, the corners of his lips turned down a little and you looked so defeated, “I’ve been off my game and I have this roommate from Hell that makes me think I’m so goddamn selfish. I just,” You let out a ragged breathe, tears welling in your eyes, “I promise, I’ll be good for dinner service,” you muttered. Carmy looked at you, his eyebrows furrowed ever-so-slightly.

“You’re not selfish,” Carmy responded. 

“Heard,” You muttered. He nodded and then turned back to look up at the sky, as did you. It was so strange with Carmy. He never really said much. He’d been here for about a month now and he was desperately trying to claw the business out of the ground. He seemed to care so much but he had an odd way of showing it, I suppose.

“I’ll show you how to make it again,” He said after a minute or two of silence. You nodded.

“Thank you.” You let out a soft breath, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. You hadn’t fucked up that much, at least.

“You two fuckers just gonna sit there or help us?” The voice of Richie broke through the relative calm that had settled between you. It was probably the quickest you had come down from a panic attack, ever.

“Like you fucking help us anyway,” You bit back as you slowly pushed yourself to your feet. Carmy was quick to follow.

“Doing a lot more than you lazy fucks right now, sat there staring at the sky like God’s gonna answer your fucking prayers,” Richie continued to bitch as you walked inside with him. Carmy followed quickly after.

“I don’t pray," You stated as you rounded the corner back to your station. Sydney was mostly done with your prep now and you were beyond thankful, “I got it from here,” You said, slipping in next to her. Sydney smiled, glad to see you feeling a bit better.

“Why’s he so calm?” Sydney asked as she watched Carmy walk past. He seemed in a better mood than he had been a moment ago.

“Fuck knows, thought he’d tell me to fuck off when he found me,” You admitted as you glanced back at him. His fucking arms drove you wild and the fact that he had his hands on you, forcing you to straighten your legs. Fuck. You didn’t want to think about it too much. And he had put that plaster on you, the warmth of his hands was something else. If you hadn’t been so fucked up with anxiety, you probably would have jumped his bones.

“You gonna fuck up another dish?” Sydney teased as she stepped away, passing you a glove for your plastered hand. 

“I’m getting a private lesson for it actually,” You retorted, a smile plastered on your face as you winked at Sydney.

“Less talking, more chopping,” Carmy said as he slipped past the two of you. You nodded.

“Yes, Chef,” You both parotted back to him. Sydney grinned and headed back to her station while you settled back into prep. You felt more like yourself now. Though, you did also really want a piece of Carmy.

[claraswritings]

CARMY BERZATTO NSFW ALPHABET HEADCANONS

Warnings: erm… it’s the NSFW alphabet so… it’s basically Carmy smut 👀 fluff,

Luca one to follow soon.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Oh Carmy would be super prepared. He’d have a little aftercare drawer or box by his bed ready for you and would offer to help you and when he was done he’d go make you a drink a snack and bring it in to you. He’d be very cuddly and close after and keep kissing you softly even after. If he had to leave early he’d nudge you so he could say goodbye and cuddle you for a bit before you went back to sleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself? He likes his arms, he knows you like them too. Carmy is built strong despite being a little shorter than most guys and knows he can lift you and move you around with ease. On you? I think he’d love your hands, he always want to be just holding your hand whilst you’re being intimate, locking both of yours above your head or holding them in his whilst he kisses you. He’s probably touch starved, poor baby.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s open to anything and will cum wherever you like. Of course Carmy loves finishing inside you but he’s also partial to giving you a backshot. He’ll take a picture of it (with your permission) and get off to it when you’re not around.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would be into making a dirty video, pictures 100% he’d want some artsy sexy Polaroids…Maybe Carmy would… even want you to nude model for him…so he can draw you 👀 … draw me like one of your French girls style?? Like sensual sexy and romantic and you’d both end up durned turned on

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Depends. If you date pre-New York absolutely or close to zero. After New York when he’s back in Chicago, maybe a few flings or brief hook ups but not much at all. Definitely no relationships. Carmy is a fast learner though and will take instructions to please you how you like.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves having you ride him but with his big hands on your hips so he can thrust up into you. Sometimes he’ll bury his face in your neck and leave bite marks, other times he’ll want to press his forehead to yours and look in your eyes.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s mostly serious. He can joke if it’s a quickie but any more and he likes to be more sweet and romantic. Carmy just feels so lucky to have you that he wants to let you know.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it tidy and trim. On a partner, he wouldn’t be fussed so long as you’re comfortable.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s the type to take his time lying over you with his chain hanging in your face and kissing you slowly, he’s absolutely the kind to say I love you during sex if he got a little overwhelmed with how loved and safe he felt. I think he’d have a hard time being vulnerable…so when he’s in the moment and feels like he can open up hed do it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I have an idea that he’d want you both watch each other touch yourselves at some point and see who caves first. Who edges closer to the other? Who would stop to touch the other person…just a little….first..

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He LOVES to be praised and told just how good he feels. The reassurance in that moment is exactly what can send him over the edge. If you tell him he’s fucked you so good and he can cum now… well fuck if he’s not finishing there and then

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

You’ve been known to surprise him in his office which he couldn’t get enough of… you’ve also made use of the car once or twice.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I think he’d get turned on knowing you want him if that makes sense. So if you’re calling him ‘my Carmen’ in public. If you got jealous of someone giving him attention too… I can imagine him being like “do you want me to show you you’re the only woman for me” BRRRR 🥵.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would not be interested in sharing you or being shared. Even if he knows you love each other, Sharing you is off the table. He’d be so jealous if another man even looked at you let alone touched you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves both. He’s keen to please you and will happily spend hours between your legs but if you want to get under his desk and take him in your mouth, he’s not going to ever refuse. He’s not the most experienced guy but he makes up for it with enthusiasm.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I’d say he usually likes to take his time with you… slow at first (due to his size) but if you build up to it, he’s sometimes unable to hold back and ends up picking up the pace.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Oh hell yeah, especially if it’s at a busy time for the restaurant and he can’t spend as much time with you as he likes. He’s pretty open to you setting the grounding on how often but if you’re there and giving him the go ahead for a quickie, he’ll always be up for it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Within reason. I think he’d be into it with the right environment…I think he’d also maybe be a little embarrassed to bring it up to you initially but if you were open, ohh you could slowly, gradually start experimenting and soon he’d be sending you things with ‘Can’t wait to do this to you’

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Liiiiisten I know people think oh he works a lot, he’s not going to have time. We have all SEEN those biceps yes? He clearly has time to work out so he clearly has a lot of energy. Sometimes yeah he does come home wiped out and you’ll just get him off with your mouth or he’ll go down on you… but other times? You’re going for as many rounds until he’s got out any frustration or energy… as for how long he lasts?? It all depends on how much you praise him 👀 (see above Kinks)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own any or use them and whilst he wouldn’t be against it, he’d much rather just fuck you himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

When you first start dating, hes not the type to make a move or ask you, but after a few months of learning what each other like, my god he is the BIGGEST TEASE.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Carmy would be quiet at first, just the odd gasp or moan but you’d coax more out of him by telling him you wanted to hear him, and by the time you’re together he’s enthusiastically telling you sparing no detail how good it feels

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Once when he was at a conference, you surprised him in a coat and just underwear underneath.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He is a bit above average in length but he’s absolutely without any doubt, so girthy that the first time you see him you’re actually nervous about how he’s going to fit.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He was so work focused before he met you that he’s adapted to being fine going for long periods without getting any…or at least he was until he met you. As soon as you get together, he cannot take his hands off you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Carmy would fall asleep pretty quickly if he’s working hard and he’d get to sleep even quicker with you kissing his arms and shoulders and whispering sweet things to him. You’d reassure him it’s okay if he falls asleep first.

[carmenberzattosgf]

Okay okay okay I’m having so many thoughts about Carmy having physical touch as a love language.

Like he just FOLDS at physical touch. You can’t tell me that man isn’t touch starved beyond words…. More thoughts under the cut (that are minimally proofread-)

Kisses on his neck? He’s a goner. To the point of whines leaving his throat. He would be embarrassed by his own sounds if it wasn’t for how much you liked them. You know the spots that make him melt in an instant.

It gets to a point where you giving him neck kisses are your favorite way to tease him. When you visit the restaurant? Yeah you give him a quick kiss goodbye on his neck mid hug.

He definitely has a thing for hickeys too. He just likes having a mark of you on him ( and he likes marking you up too but that’s a blurb for another time). It’s something nice to look at in the mirror. A reminder of you. But that becomes an issue when Richie notices a very large hickey peeking out of his collar and. Well. Teases the ever loving fuck out of him. “Are you dating a vampire or something Carmy?” Oh and if Richie had no idea Carmy has a girl?? “Yo cousin? What the fuck is that on your neck”

Going to get fluffy before I get smutty… hugs from behind while he’s cooking. God– he just loves it when you creep up behind him and press up against his back in a bear hug ( haha. Bear hug). It just makes him feel so loved.

Now I don’t think he’s into pda… but he ALWAYS has a hand on you in public. It could be around your waist, holding your hand, or anything really. He just likes to touch you. It keeps him grounded and focused and he just wants to know you’re right there at all times.

And when you’re alone together??? Oh he’s such a softie it’s not even funny. Always giving you hugs and burying his face in your neck when he’s feeling overwhelmed. He’s done for when you start raking your fingers through his curls. The second you do that, he’s instantly relaxed.

When he comes home from a long day at the restaurant? He instantly lays his head in your lap while you’re sitting on the couch. You take that as a cue to run your fingers through his hair while he either talks about his day, or while you talk about yours.

Now time to get smutty. This man is only into sex positions that allow for as much skin to skin contact as possible. Will he do positions like doggy if you ask? Of course he will, but his preference is always going to be something where he can be close to you (bc being inside you isn’t enough for him apparently).

Fuck- him on top of you in missionary. His forehead resting on yours so he can watch your face as the pleasure consumes you. His arms are wrapped around you, holding you flush to his body. Carmy loses it when your nails dig into his back. Don’t even get me started on the filth he would be saying. “God– you feel so good. So fucking good for me. Like you were made for me.”At some point he takes both of your legs and puts them over his shoulder, letting him hit even deeper inside of you. I can even see a size kink coming into play here… like him pressing on your stomach until you can feel his cock moving inside of you. “You feel that? So fucking deep-“

Or or or you on top of him straddling his lap. He’s holding you so your chest is against his. Carmy loves it like this because it lefts you be in control. He just lets you bounce on him while he moans and whines into your neck.

Anyways I could go on and on and on about Carmy and physical touch but imma stop there- ( also cannot describe how hard it was to leave breeding out of this-)

[moonstruckme]

This celebration bake sale is so unbelievably precious omg I’m in love with you

Congrats on 7k!! And wishing you a lovely birthday!!

May I request a little apple pie with Carmy and the prompt a six pack of beer and an apology (#10) (it just seems so him)

I’m overwhelmed with affection for you babe <3

Thank you lovely, I got really excited about the idea haha. And you're right, it is so him <3

cw: alcohol

Carmy Berzatto x fem!reader ♡ 902 words

You’re unsurprised to open your door and find Carmy on the other side. It’s why, while you have changed into your pajamas, you didn’t go for one of the shirts that’s all moth-bitten or the pants with rockstar squirrels printed on them (they’re very comfy, alright?). These are your presentable pajamas, and they allow you to stand tall in your slippers and look at Carmy with some dignity. 

He, of course, in his chef’s coat. It still has some sauce splattered on the fabric partway down his chest. You know he’s trying to look presentable since the restaurant went more upscale, but you miss his tight white t-shirts (for reasons which will remain unspecified, though you’ve hinted to him more than once). 

“Hey,” Carmy says. He looks abashed, which is a nice start. 

You’re not letting him off easy, though. You cross your arms and let your hip jut out a little, regarding him coolly. “Hi.” 

His gaze seems stuck on your chin. “I, uh. I wanted to apologize.” 

Try as you might, you can’t help the little smile that turns your mouth at how awkward he sounds. You lift an eyebrow to try to retain some of your higher ground. “Okay. Wanna come in and have a drink?” you ask him, partly because you know how difficult this is for him and partly because you want him to know you know how difficult this is for him. 

“Sure,” he says, letting you lead the way to the fridge. You grab a couple of beers from a six-pack, setting them down on the kitchen table. 

Your fingers grow slippery with condensation as you crack yours open. Carmy moves to do the same, but his mouth twists. 

“What?” 

His eyes flick up to yours like he’s been caught. You don’t know why he’s surprised; Carmy has never been good at keeping things off his face. He gives a minute shake of his head. 

“Nothing.” 

“No, what?” 

“It’s nothing.” He’s looking at the table, and you get the sense that while he sounds like he’s done talking, he’ll say more if you let him. So you stay quiet. “Just, my mom used to baste turkeys with this stuff.” 

You raise your eyebrows. You and Carmy haven’t been together for long, but you’ve been around his family long enough to know what his mom is like. What holidays mean for them all. “This same brand?” 

“Yeah.” Carmy still looks like he’s about to open it, working a short fingernail under the tab, but you pull it away from him before he can. 

“What do you want instead?” you ask earnestly. 

Again, he looks surprised. You’re reminded of how much tough love he’s around all the time. Maybe you ought to be kinder to him. He chews the inside of his cheek, thoughtful. 

“Do you have any ginger beer? I could make a Moscow mule.” 

And again, your lips betray you. You almost laugh, actually. “God, that is so New York.” You stand, taking your beers back to the fridge. Yours will get flat. You don’t mind. “What would make you think I have ginger beer? In my tiny fridge? Why would I stock that?” 

You can practically feel the waves of Carmy’s awkwardness hitting your back like radiation. “If you don’t have any…” 

“No, I do.” You emerge with two cans of ginger beer. “Weirdly, I bought some months ago and it got shoved back there. Make me one, too, that sounds way better than beer.” 

Carmy stands to take the cans from you, going to the counter. He’s not smiling but looks tantalizingly close to it, the tension in his shoulders relaxing somewhat. “Do you also have a lime, or…”

You roll your eyes. “In the bowl on your left, fancy pants.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Thank you.” You sit back down in your chair, watching him cut your lime into wedges. “As apologies go, you’re off to a great start.” 

“Yeah.” Carmy sounds a tad bashful. “I wasn’t really expecting it to go this well.” 

You take a breath, letting it whoosh out of you, and decide to put him out of his misery. When you speak, your voice is serious, though not unkind. “You can’t just yell at me because you’re stressed, Carm.” 

Carmy’s shoulders string tighter again. “I know. I shouldn’t have lost my cool like that, I’m sorry.” 

“I know you’re used to a lot of yelling, and it’s all you hear in your kitchen and stuff, but not with me. I can’t do it, okay? And you can tell me when you’re having a shit day—I’d love that, actually—but you can’t expect me to tiptoe around you because someone else did something when I wasn’t around.” 

“I know.” Carmy’s eyes close. He looks almost pained. “I know, I know. I really fucked up. It won’t…I won’t let it happen again. Really.” 

“Okay,” you say softly. 

“I’ll keep my shit separate.” 

“Okay. I believe you.” You wait until he opens his eyes, let him see the sincerity in your expression. Among other, softer feelings, probably. “We’re cool. Okay?” 

He nods once. He still looks guilty, ashamed, but that’s okay. You’ll bring him back around. Forgive him forcefully until he gets past it, too. 

“Sick.” You pull your legs up into your chair, crossing them and setting your hands on your knees eagerly. “I still want my apology drink, though. Blow my mind, chef.”

[thebearer]

honestly, thinking about the last episode and thinking about pete, and i am an honest to god pete defender.

like he is so good to sugar, and tries to hard to be good for her, good for the whole family. he knows how fucked up they all are, and he's just there- a little sunshiney boy trying to keep everything together. he has the best of intentions, he really does.

the scene with donna outside the restaurant. how he's just trying to do what's best and he feels empathy for her? he sees the best in people and honestly, i get why they're hard on him- he's not their usual type in the family, but pete deserves all the love and support genuinely.

just picturing your first true berzatto family get together. donna wants to see the new baby, so they have it at the restaurant. steven and michelle from out of town, jimmy, leo, donna, everyone- the whole gang. you're overwhelmed, especially when donna starts drinking.

pete just kinda comes and sits by you, while you're alone and unsure in the corner. you'd already been hounded with a million questions, carmen is trying to keep the peace in the kitchen, trying to check on you, trying to keep everyone from killing each other.

"how are you doing?" pete asks, sitting beside you, baby mikey in his arms.

"i-i'm good." you muttered, eyes darting around the room.

"it's a lot." pete sighed.

"it is a lot." you muttered, nodding slowly. "i mean, i knew it was gonna be a lot. carmy warned me on that but it's like..."

"so much worse than you thought it would be?" pete looked at you carefully.

"yeah." you nodded. "i, uh, i understand a lot more now."

"they're, uh, they're actually really nice. all of them, on their own." pete offered. "like steve and michelle, they're great, really. easy to talk to, always really nice, super fuckin' funny. and...and you know jimmy. leo is... leo's kinda a ball buster. got this dry sense of humor, but he'll be nice to you, a little invasive you know? but he's got good intentions."

you nodded slowly, eyes scanning around the room towards each person. "what about his mom?" you muttered, looking at the white haired woman nursing another glass of chardonnay. "she, uh, she hasn't spoke to me the whole time. i tried to introduce myself and she walked right past me." you tried not to sound hurt, carmen told you to shake it off, but it did hurt. that was his mother, no matter how he tried to play it off.

"donna is... donna is a lot." pete hummed. "she... you can't force donna. ok? she'll come to you when she's ready. right now, she doesn't know who you are. and as fucked up as it is, it's her way of looking out for carm, looking out for herself. just give that one time. she's watching you."

you scoffed lightly. "yeah? that supposed to make me feel better pete?"

"no. no not at all." pete laughed. "but, just some advice. you gonna leave carmen anytime soon?"

"no." you furrowed your brows, shooting a glare at him.

"then you show her that. she'll ease into you. i promise." pete said.

"thank you, pete." you nodded sincerely at him. "thanks for this."

"of course." pete grinned. "it's a lot and they're all too caught up in their own to try and help so... we outsiders gotta look out for each other."

you laughed lightly, looking down at the baby in his arms. he had the berzatto nose, carmen's and mikey's. "you're not an outsider anymore." you grinned. "not with this little guy."

pete smiled proudly. "i'm still an outsider. just got like a lifetime pass in." you laughed, reaching out to stroke the baby's soft tuft of hair. "you wanna hold him?"

"are you sure?" your eyes flashed to him. "i'm not great at it."

pete shrugged, fishing his hand sanitizer out and tossing it to you. "just don't drop him. i won't abandon you with him. promise."

you freshly sanitized hands shook lightly, grabbing the baby a little unsure, shifting the weight in your arm until it was comfortable. baby mikey gurgled, face scrunching for a moment, before he settles, lulled back into whatever rest he was in before.

"ah, he likes you." pete boasted. "must know you're gonna be a vip like me."

you snorted lightly, swaying back and forth with the tiny baby. "yeah. hopefully."

"you will be." pete nodded, his eyes cutting over to the figure by the windows. "judging by carmy's face, you definitely will be."

you looked up, seeing your boyfriend standing there, a water in his white knuckled grip staring at you. you smiled gently, nodding him over.

"they got you on baby sitting duty?" carmen grinned, trying to play off how flustered he was before, how his heart was skipping a beat seeing you like that.

"somethin' like that." you hummed. "pete just asked if i wanted to hold him. he's cute. kinda looks like you."

carmen scoffed as pete boasted. "he does, doesn't he! i told nat that and she told me i was crazy! see, nat!" he stood, going to get his wife from across the room, a promise he'd be right back.

carmen slid into his spot, leaning over your shoulder to look at the baby- his nephew. "he's cute." he nodded. "sorry you got stuck with pete." his tone snarled, rolling his eyes gently.

"hey, stop that." you frowned. "pete is very sweet, alright? he's a good guy, carm."

carmen could feel his shoulders tense. he was a good fuckin' guy, he knew that, that's why they gave him such a hard time. "you're right." carmen muttered. "he is a good guy."

"what were you two talking about?" carmen asked, letting the baby wrap his tiny fist around his finger.

"he was just telling me about your family."

"oh." carmen rolled his eyes sarcastically. "i'm sure that was great."

"it was." you said firmly, looking at him. "all the good stuff, baby. promise."

carmen blushed, resisting the urge to kiss you while his sister and pete came back over, pete exaggeratedly talking about how the baby did look like carmy and mikey and you agreed, which then brought jimmy over to give his opinion, stevie and michelle following, until everyone was around you bickering and throwing back and forth about who was right.

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e5 rewatch notes

Ah, "Pop" - it's so weird to have one of the least-satisfying episodes of television you've ever watched be sandwiched in the middle of one of the most satisfying television series you've ever seen.

"But the viewer uneasiness, the juxtaposition, that's the point of the episode!" cry future Storer/Calo** in unison, tearing at their shirt collars and throwing themselves prostrate in the middle of their 7th podcast interview moderated entirely by men "in the spirit of John Hughes, we wanted to convey....."

** For the record, I respect/love them for creating my 2nd favorite TV show of all time, they just grind my gears with the offensive stance on these narrative choices that were, in fact, very bad.

It was an over-reach, an unenjoyable viewing experience for most people outside a specific segment of uncritical (mostly white) men and the women who placate them.

Alright, preamble over - let's dig in!

We open with Tina getting a crash-course in Syd's vision. I bet this woman has never been exposed to breaking food down in the abstract - "earth, air, fire, water" , nor the overwhelming prep of the daikon and the fennel - but her just being like "this is a lot for a tasting menu" and then reassuring her with "it's okay ma, I got you!" - she has my full heart.

Tina's intuition on the food is good, though - it is, in fact, too busy. Sydney is still learning how to be a mentor, and she negates that Tina's background isn't automatically going to make her know what a play on an XO sauce is, or even how to identify a panzanella.

Remember Carmy explaining Japanese plum wine to Marcus? That's how you do it. Sydney still has a learning curve to go through, but Tina will weather it gangbusters.

Sydney - "It's a lot, it's a lot...I'm seeing that its a lot"

I see that iterative recipe development between Carmy + Syd fell into oblivion three weeks earlier when he blew her off, and she's suffering greatly.

Carmy is trying to get the 7 seconds down to 5 between stations when Cicero comes in, and Cicero sees it as a fruitless exercise after Natalie points out that he's been at it for over an hour. I can almost see the flash in Carmy's eyes where we're back 5 years ago, his family seeing him and his work as weird and irrelevant. This was probably the first blow of the day that led him to flake out completely.

I'm including all of Cicero's dialogue here, because I didn't realize it was so weighted on my first pass through the show:

"I'm a little concerned that we're taking our eyes off the ball here, and I want to be hyper-clear - if I ain't seeing no progress, I don't want to keep pissing money away. I'm calling this out now, because we are - How far from open, Sug? - Six weeks! And I somehow anticipate that the coming six weeks, there will be more pissin'.

The thing is, I like to control the pissing to the best of my ability....your schedule is kinked. You're doing whatever the fuck you're doing here. Thundernuts is out there making sandwiches for his entire family? I mean, look, as much as I look forward to selling this place - and trust me, I do look forward to it - I think it's just in all of our best interests if we have a maximally efficient place of business. I really would like to tell you a story of complete and utter failure...."

Syd interrupts.

Holy shit - this is the second time he's tried to tell his Gonzalez/Bartman story. I can't believe I missed this, TWICE (s2e1).

Instead, he tells it to Carmy on opening night - and I think by then Cicero has seen the writing on the wall and knows that Carmy is the only person who really needs to hear it - this is a big CP.

The scenes that follow just reinforce Ciceros current narrative - it's too casual for essentially being a House of Usher - everyone is interrupting, Fak's pal/contractor wandering in eating a sandwich the electrician made him, the drywall falling, Timmy's "no worries, it's still billable hours" crack. Mobster uncle or not, the man has already spent $550k just to witness this.

Tina telling Ebra that it's weird she hasn't spoken to him in a few days, and can't recount the last time that happened - it's amazing that with all the talk of platonic relationships this season, no one is pulling this one out of their hats in comparison *smirks*

But again (like Sugar faux-charming Cicero moments earlier). women be managing men's emotions along with their own lengthy lists of challenges, as the men retreat wounded and overwhelmed.

Cut to Syd perfectly laying out dining wares for Carmy while Fak blathers about 'Can't Hardly Wait' being "the greatest High School Song ever written" while his contractor friend sits idle....

"That's $55 a plate for that silence" - "Okay, then we can use the shitty ones" - Carmy is being so frigging childish and dismissive, right after he called Sugar "fucking disgusting" for being cutesy with Cicero to de-escalate him, but both women are doing what needs to be done - not what they WANT to be doing.

This is when Carmy completely checks out to call Claire for the ridiculous errand run to Winnetka. In my memory, I felt like "oh, he wanted to see her and he took the first opening to bail", but watching this episode now, he feels defeated and infantalized, and so he runs to a guaranteed source of flattery/unchallenging comfort. I don't think it was initially his M.O for the workday, just "later".

He exits with "Um....chaos menu. I dunno? I'll get back to you?" after we already watched Syd suffer on it until the wee hours - he's off to provide himself with amusement and enjoyment, so he can take care of Syd others- he just wants to give the menu to her straight-up (as he thinks this will please her), and this is his way of apologizing for bailing.

The same goes for his non-thank-you to Natalie as he's leaving. "You're not doing this because I'm pregnant, are you?" - No, he's doing it to provide himself with amusement or enjoyment so he can be better for you - enjoy working the entire day at the restaurant pregnant, though! If it makes you feel better, he appreciates you.

"Total Control" by Motels is playing as Carmy and Claire drive to the suburbs - I included the link to the lyrics, because it was an....interesting choice.

I really tried to analyze their conversation during their first foray into the car, but my raw scribbled notes look like this:

"It's perfect timing, I had all this extra adrenaline after resetting this guys Tibia" - screaming

"Whoa" (but not really impressed/getting it) "Does that shit really fire you up?" - oh my god

"It really fucking fires me up. Plus, I love driving. I'm a horrible driver, but I love the risk." - oh my fucking god

I can't do it. I'm sorry.

I'll only note that the chemistry during the envelope drop is non-existent. I think it was supposed to be scripted as a funny/awkward scene, but it just came off as two actors standing in a mail room - before this moment, I never perceived JAW as a guy who's just acting in this show, and it's jarring.

Why the hell didn't FX exert more pressure to get the chemistry read they asked for?

Sydney and Natalie's sit-down is just them acknowledging that they're managing the feelings and work of all the men that orbit The Bear, on top of the extensive labor demands they already have. Richie's interjections due to lack of purpose, Fak's inexperience with managing contractors, Carmy being checked-out and incapable of participating in things that don't rely on his existing ADHD skill-set.

One of these women is a bit green and needs support, the other is pregnant and overwhelmed, and all the men are mad or threatened by them for one trite reason or another - if season 3 isn't an overt celebration of female competence and resilince, I'm out.

"The menu is fucked - and I need Carmy, but he is....being Carmy, somewhere."

"At least he's hanging out with Claire, that seems moderately healthy, right?" - Sugar delivers this as not good, not bad, just completely ambivalent - a far cry from the Fishes discourse.

And Sydney's eyes fire up with the intensity of hell behind a smile and the "who's Claire?" - Ayo is such an amazing actress, that was a nice palate cleanser after the letter drop.

OK, we're back in the car - again, I couldn't extract much from the vapor, but here are some rough-hewn observations:

Claire saying "We've hung out so much, but we've never actually talked" - add it to the list of "telling, not showing".

I wonder if Molly Gordon is truly a great actress and intended to look at Carmy like that while he was talking about drawing pants (intense psychoanalysis eyes) or if she was attempting to look dreamily at him and just failed the assignment.

It's becoming a bit more clear to me that there's a weird brother-oedipal thing going on with Claire when Carmy talks about how she had so many friends, as Mikey did.

"Speaking of dead brothers, do you want to go to a party?"

Ignoring the totallykookycoolgirl line, I don't believe Carmy wanted/needed the tension to break there, he actually wanted to talk. The 'hmmmm' he lets escape is discomfort on multiple levels.

The party scene - "Pretty in Pink" by the Psychedelic Furs plays as they enter a house filled with 35-year-old fraternity dudes.

For those who maybe missed this, John Hughes also wrote "The Breakfast Club", wherein Molly Ringwald's character was named Claire. They just beat us over the head with this regression repeatedly, and I resent it. I came here for a high-caliber show, and I feel like I'm watching Zach Braff disassociate in a Scrubs dream sequence or some shit.

At least KJ (a 38 years old man with meth face) says that Carmy was in wrestling with him back in high school - maybe this will tamp down the "why is a chef so ripped" debate.

Even when Claire is comforting her friend (which is played by Mitra Jouhari, Molly/Ayo's friend in real life), the delivery is so wooden and sterile and not how adult women console one another in crisis.

Maybe it was the fact that she was forced to maintain the whispery voice through it for consistency in Carmy's presence, but even that seems out of sorts - imagine Syd, Tina, Sugar, anyone consoling a friend in a similar situation - and she uses that consolation to further her agenda with Carmy by dropping that no one has ever made her dinner before (at age 30???)

"Am I stupid?" "No, no....he's the one who sucks".

Wait, these are the lines of a very adult woman who has friends who are doctors getting over a 5-year-breakup? This script is stupid.

Jeremy Allen White is such a serious actor, I'd kill to hear his earnest drunk take on this.

"He's so nice. Why don't I ever meet anyone who's nice?"

*sighs deeply* - Again, y'all are 30.

Tina taking a shot and then getting up to sing "Before the Next Teardrop Falls" by Freddy Fender. I'd love to know if this song has a massive place of significance in Tina's life, but I choose to see it as her being a ballast of support for whoever needs her. Her heart is completely open - no notes.

Hold the phone - they chose "Here Comes The Night" to play as Claire is staring back at Carmy and comforting her friend leading up to the fireworks scene?

Here are the lyrics - Van Morrison/Them is great, but I wonder why they picked this song? Feel free to slap the Syd goggles off me, but this literally just chased Tina's ballad about being there when someone breaks your heart.

KJ saying "busted for having fun, busted for having fun!" as the cops are hauling him away. Loga....I mean, Carmy, was looking for "fun" in his life - I feel like this scene summarizes that pretty succinctly. He's not a man searching for fun, he's a man searching for meaning....and now he's going to conflate the fact that he's completely touch-starved with this type of fun, because the man is emotionally illiterate.

The one lyric from Strange Currencies (when they're driving to the restaurant) that they chose to flare prominently is "where were you when I kissed you" - at least they're driving home the message that these two aren't on the same wavelength.

Carmy walking into the Richie-fight-shitshow and being more concerned about the optics Claire receives when it's obvious that his whole staff has just been through a hellfire of a day, ugh. At least his acting chops are back on display in this scene.

Ahhhh, Claire's sourpuss face as soon as Sydney blurts out "I'm sorry you're here" - it almost makes this episode worth it. Almost.

For the record, I side with everyone who's stated that her introduction to the crowd was exclusively to draw Syd's attention to her.

The same goes for Richie's "Interesting." - if we based everything on what Fishes was trying to sell us, he would have thrown Carmy an arm-punch or something. It's more bemusement, not pride, in Carmy for "bagging Claire". Compare that with the "ooooooooohhhh" when Syd and Carmy are fighting - there's way more tension/acknowledgement of their dynamic.

Ugh - even Richie is like "Cousin, who's going to watch the copper?" as Carmy kicks everyone out. Even if they're ham-fisted about it (as Richie definitely is), everyone is concerned about something to do with the restaurant/their labor except for Carmy, who curtly dismisses them all with fake gratitude.

I won't talk much about Syd's exit, because it's already been discussed to death - yes, he's confused she's leaving. Yes, the only time he can look her in the eye is while Claire is distracted. Yes, he see's she's pissed and it's making him die a little inside.

I will offer a trite story, though:

When I was a young pup, I had a co-worker who had a massive crush on my friend - and the affection was mutual, but unacknowledged due to lack of experience.

He (being a traumatized, ill-equipped man-child) immediately sought out a less challenging girlfriend who even looked like a close approximation of my friend and excitedly brought this new girlfriend to a party I was throwing because he REALLY hoped that my friend would love her. She obviously didn't love her, he came to me confused/upset, and after I explained things slowly and carefully, he dumped the girlfriend a few days later. He dated my friend weeks after (and for transparencies sake, it ended terribly).

Where I'm going with this is that I think somewhere in the recesses of Carmy's damaged mind, he REALLY needed Syd's approval of him being with Claire since he was caught red-handed. He imagined her staying, asking leading questions or chaperoning the situation, or giving him a knowing smile or a "thata boy" - whatever. Even though he told everyone to leave. It's bizarre.

The Fak thing is so cloying - someone mentioned today about the Berzatto clan of fools wanting to live vicariously through Carmy and Claire, and they are 100% correct.

Finally, 30-year-olds don't kiss like this.

This whole thing was as unsatisfying to write as it was to watch. Hopefully, I caught something of use - thanks for sticking with me through this!

[gallaghersgal]

hi <3 i know you still have my last ask and i don’t want to overwhelm you or anything, i just had a fight with my mom so not in a great mood. but please take whatever time you need to get to this, this is more for me.

there’s a lot i can—and will—say about you being a safe place for Carmy. But the opposite is just as true.

He understands all too well what it’s like to grow up in a dysfunctional family, to have toxic relatives, all that shit. So when you tell him about your own issues, he might not have the perfect speech ready to go but he’ll hold your hand, let you cry and hug you. He’ll make sure you can always have a safe, calm space to relax.

Like I can imagine you having to spend time with your family and being so overwhelmed and anxious and upset because they have just become that triggering to you but you go back because you care about them. And he doesn’t go with you because he can’t, he tries to free his schedule but it happens on a big night at the restaurant and you assure him it’s all fine. But then he makes sure his phone is near and he’s reachable, he tries to send you a few texts here and there just to check on you.

And when you come back home, he makes sure your favorite snacks are in the cupboard and your blanket is soft and clean. He waits up, even if he’s exhausted and his day was long. He refuses to go to sleep without you.

Of course you appreciate that so much but also just…him, you know? Because there is no doubt, no questioning when you look at him. You don’t have to convince yourself he does indeed care, you don’t have to be on your best behavior for him to still love you. Even if you come back and you don’t have the emotional capacity to talk, he’ll grab your hand and sit with you in silence. He’ll tell you about his day because he knows you love to hear about that. He’ll tell you he loves you and reminds you how much you matter to him, to your friends. He’ll cuddle with you and make sure you’re feeling less anxious when going to sleep.

There’s no yelling with Carmy. You get upset with one another, you disagree, fight even but you both make sure it doesn’t cross that line.

Same for silent treatments. Even if you did fight and things aren’t as peachy as usual, you both greet each other, talk and do the things you do—he always gets your breakfast ready because he wakes up earlier, he doesn’t stop that just because you fought the night before.

Every time you see your family, the contrast hits you harder. Because Carmy doesn’t expect anything from you, he loves you and that’s enough.

He probably doesn’t even realize how much he heals some parts of you just by existing. Sometimes it’s your hand he holds and refuses to let go. Sometimes it’s him pushing aside what he’s been doing, just to sit and listen to you. Sometimes it’s being upset with you but still kissing you goodnight.

He’s just the kind of guy who makes it easier to love yourself because he loves you so much so you have no other choice but to see what he sees.

Anyway don’t know where I was going with this but yk delulu is the solulu 😔✊

ps. Congratu-fucking-lations on the milestone! I know I haven’t been here for long but you’re amazing, i love sharing ideas with you and I am actually kissing your beautiful face wherever you are muaaaah 💕💕

-🧸

imo one of the sweetest things carmen will do for his girl is hold her hand when he doesn't have the words to comfort her. kissing her palm, lacing his fingers with hers, or running a thumb over her knuckles. he's not the most eloquent speaker

GOD and the no silent treatments part,,, as someone who was raised with the silent treatment, this would heal me. i think maybe once he got all quiet when the two of you fought, so you sat him down and told him "bear, it's okay to be mad, but it's not okay to act like i don't exist.

delulu IS the solulu my friend!!

i had sm more to say but this rotted for too long and now im ill so im js posting it. that way the rest of the world can see your wonderful thoughts!

[blackjack-15]

tight shots on food, syd, food, once again we're straight on, emphasizing the relationship there. syd's actress has very pretty eyes. not the point of the shot but worth saying!

"courage and confidence leads to decision making" oh we're stating the thesis! and guess what carmy's missing here. no surprises.

she has the air of a woman who's been stood up and decided to enjoy herself. this is not a coincidence, but it is very funny

notice she went home, changed, got freshened up? she's wearing her red on carmy's white? yeah, so did i

okay points for Carmy for texting. negative points for everything else about the message.

sydney takes chicago! i love this, she's going out to learn, going out to do a light bit of culinary espionage, and networking on behalf of The Bear. would it have been cuter and better and pretty much everything else good for her to do it with carmy? of course. but this show is called the bear. and our titular bear isn't there yet.

"make sure your hospitality and service is overwhelming" okay, front of house is gonna be important. still positive that's gonna involve richie finding his purpose.

"and make sure you have a great partner. someone you trust"

"we had a horrible business partner who stole all our money and flew off to Hawai'i"

my gosh, with the comment her dad made about trusting carmy? they're not shy that this is the primary relationship in the show, whether you see it romantically or platonically.

it's romantic. we know it. moving on

actually, not moving on.

while in this episode alone, these dialogues point to carmy, i actually think that this points to Cicero overall. he's a chaotic neutral sort of character right now, fully invested in his own good rather than in being a cheerleader or a wallet. the bear will survive or fail based on the front of house staff, the back of house cooperation, the relationship of syd and carmy, and -- most importantly, if Cicero is a force for good or bad.

"we're working together" "ahhh. been there. trust your gut." yeah this is just. text at this point. s3 is going to be a Feast.

.........

........

so i'm an idiot, but hearing carmy say his name on the voicemail? he's referred to as "bear" (as are Mikey and Natalie, we've seen) because with the Chicago twang, it sounds exactly like "bear-zatto". I'm stupid, i get it, let's move on. nothing to see here.

(in my accent, that's said more like bier-zatto, and burr-zatto if i'm going for a more geography-neutral flat accent. so yes. idiot. throw tomatoes at will.)

i don't know what the venn diagram is between The Bear viewers and kdrama fans, but this montage of syd eating alone is reminiscent of a scene from S2 of the kdrama Hospital Playlist (Netflix) where a woman is similarly stood up (though at a nice restaurant with steak) and keeps changing positions at the table, laughing to herself and eating the meal and drinking both glasses of wine.

digression aside, i think Syd and Chu Minha would be friends, plus both their love interests are referred to affectionately as "bear".

marcus and fak? chaos

"looking forward." "...looking forward?" "i don't know i've never said that in my life" oh marcus. this crush is pretty cute ngl. i'm not rooting for it but it's cute

SYD DO NOT POACH I'M DYING

the risotto!!! baby sydney!!! i love how obvious it is just through visuals that syd's dying to make The Bear really feel like part of Chicago, to give it that feeling that richie found so important in S1. it's all coming together. i also love we can see that syd really, truly loves food. we knew it already, but to have it so lovingly focused on is wonderful. in case there was any doubt as to who the deuteragonist is in this show? this episode should clear it up

(carmy being the protagonist and carmy's anxiety richie being the tritagonist, of course. they're steering the boat)

[witchthewriter]

💀👯📺📚✨🐐🗡️🧇🧨🧤.

You don't have to answer these questions if you don't want to. I hope you are having a lovely day.

I wanna say thank you to @brilligbroilledbooks for coming up with this!

Of course, I want to answer them! Thank you for taking the time to send in the ask! Also, I'm not sure if all the questions are in relation to the Grishaverse??? So I'm just going with whatever...I want lol oops

💀 Favorite villain?

I mean The Darkling was a pretty good goddamn villain but the best ones are when you start to agree with them. When their perspective starts making sense, that's when you know you have a good villain. So with that being said, I guess ... the Joker? I mean the Darkling is a DAMN good villain, so yeah he will always be one of my favourites. But also I love a good female villain so Jennifer Check from Jennifer's Body?

"Jennifer! You're killing people!"

"No, I'm killing boys-"

It really is a cult classic.

👯Favorite ships/duos/dynamics (friendships are also ships!)?

Me & Money (lol just kidding...👀), Katniss & Peeta, Nat & Wanda, Nikolai & Zoya, Jesper & Nikolai, Buffy & Faith, Sansa & Dany, Sansa & Margaery. These are all romantic ones though - friendship ones are; Inej & Nina, Genya, Alina & Zoya, Buffy & Willow, and Peeta & Finnick.

📺Favorite tv show quote/scene?

I think would have to be Carmy's scene in The Bear, when he's at the AA meeting and finally opens up. I just related so much, he says he didn't have friends growing up, he had a stutter, never had a girlfriend...here's the scene if you want to watch it. Trigger Warning though! And then at the end of the series ... god I don't want to spoil it for you, but I have never cried and laughed so loudly and so much at the same time.

For Grishaverse -

When Jesper and Kaz are taken to see Dresden (or whatever his name is) but it's really to see Nikolai and just ... god the interaction, the witty banter. Kaz's side eye with Jesper about knowing about him being a durast.

📚 Favorite book quote/scene?

In William Shakespeare's play, 'Much Ado About Nothing,' the scene where Beatrice and Benedick are talking and she yells, "O if I were a man! I would eat his heart in the marketplace!" (Here's the scene if you want to check it out). I got it tattooed actually, except it says "I'll eat his heart in the marketplace." To me, in the play, it means the social constructs are obstructing Beatrice from standing up for her cousin, but my tattoo means ... f*ck the social norm, f*ck tradition - I can and I will call anyone out. Let me know if anyone wants to see the tattoo... if no one cares, that's totally chill as well lol

For Grishaverse -

My favourite quote would be Genya talking about her abuse from the King. It's so much more hard-hitting than in the tv show. I cried and cried while reading it. Because I think the King was still alive, and she got to say it to his face while Nikolai was there as well.

✨Which Grisha order would you belong to?

Oh my god! I'm always thinking about this. On one hand, I would love to be a summoner, but one that doesn't exist - I wanna be the main character like that tehe oops. But then again, being a durast would come in handy!!! But then there's also being a Heartrender, and no one can survive without their heart so I just want to be the most powerful 👀

🐐Who/what is your emotional support goat?

Jesper - whenever I feel overwhelmed, I'm like 'Jesper would be laughing right now, I need to chill.' But also my pets - Baloo (my lab cross rottie) and Silly (my cat who is currently asleep on my bed). Also...The Hunger Games series is my emotional support movies??? I think that says a lot about me ...

🗡️Wraith, what are your knives' names? (Moral principles that you value - yes, also name the knives)

I would name my knives like they name their swords in Game of Thrones.

Maiden Death

Fate's End

Vicious Hope

...Bad Luck

My moral principles are:

Everyone is equal and has equal opportunities (except for those who have done unforgivable things - that's a whole other discussion).

I think we should Eat the Rich - no one needs that much money

Water should always be free - everywhere

Abortions need to be legal and accessible (everywhere and without hassle)

Religion has no place in government

Marriage equality is an obvious yes - I can't believe we're still arguing about this

Guns need to be banned

Education is free, yes that includes university degrees

Medical care also needs to be free as well

Okay so that turned into opinions rather than principles...

🧇Heartrender, if you had to betray your country for food what would it be?

Okay so I don't know if you guys have these outside of Australia but we have these chocolate bars called Picnics. They're a wafer covered in caramel, then nuts with Cadbury chocolate. They're what waffles are to Nina - I would eat these for the rest of my life. I can easily eat a bag of 12 in less than 30 minutes. They're ... delectable. I'm actually eating them right now ahahah oh my god

🧨Demo-expert, how do you code your experiments? (Favorite hobby)

My fav hobby is ... this. It's this account, writing for you guys, making moodboards, researching astrology signs, mbti, pair ups, headcanons. This, as well as learning about witchcraft and tarot. Reading, and extending my writing abilities.

🧤Dirtyhands, what's your weakness?

Um... being ridiculed/insulted. But also talk sh*t get hit amirite ladies?! I think it's being rejected, looked down on, and thought of as disgusting. That's my weakness. But if we're talking...how would the enemy get me to do anything, it would probably be kidnaping my family???

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The Fairest Creatures collection

The Bear was about to feature a new concept of service: The Chef's counter. All Carmy. The menu was curated by Sydney but he was the only one behind the U-shaped counter that provided an up-close look at his open kitchen and his artistry in real-time.

The pilot friends & family night was 2 days away, and Carmy was walking on pins and needles.

Syd tried to calm him down by saying that only 9 people were invited and 2 of those were Michelle and Stevie so he was going to be just fine. There was no use, he was not worried, but flat-out scared. The memories of the last friends & family event haunted him and had already triggered 3 panic attacks in the last 2 weeks.

The reason being that for the first time in The Bear's history media was going to be involved in that event because a group of celebrities was going to be there.

The Bear had recently been awarded 3 Michelin stars and Thom Browne and his husband Andrew Bolton were going to be there along with Thom's new muses Gigi Hadid and Bradley Cooper. So, this was going to be a whole new level of crazy, everything had to be flawless because, unlike the first F&F night, the level of public scrutiny this event was going to have was going to be off the charts and Carmy knew he didn't have the best track record, plus he hated being in the spotlight. Everything felt like psychological torture to him at this point. Not even waiting for the call of the Michelin stars had felt like this to him.

The last round of RSVP confirmation emails had been sent out with the final reminder that vegan, vegetarian, and celiac diets, as well as allergies or aversions to fish, shellfish, seafood, dairy, gluten, or allium, could not be accommodated, and every single one of those emails had been responded to in a timely manner, confirming attendance.

Everything seemed right on track but Carmy was still feeling the heat and hating it. The only breather he was given was Sydney's chest at night, where he rested his head and listened to her heartbeat as she lightly scratched his scalp and played with his messy curls until he could fall into a short slumber.

The night he had been dreading for weeks finally arrived and he was in the zone. He was someone else altogether. Barely blinked.

When he had to smile for the attendees he had to make a colossal effort. That smile never reached his eyes. He was a robot. Perfection was what he was after with every move he made and that is exactly what he got. Anyone else would have felt exhausted, stressed beyond belief, and even overwhelmed but not Carmen Berzatto. He wasn't feeling anything at all.

First course: 3 different seafood dishes that despite their simplicity and minimalism accomplished the impossible mission of literally making Andrew Bolton tear up.

Second course: Homemade pasta with an out-of-this-world mushroom sauce that blew everyone away.

Third course: Lamb prime rib focaccia. Magnificence and umami.

Fourth and final course: Wagyu on live coals. Carmy roasted it directly over the flames at some point too and then rested the beef over live coals to enhance the flavors while maintaining the juicy flesh. Brilliant was the word everyone at the counter was thinking about.

The dessert was Core-teser. An intense hazelnut mousse encased in a delicate milk chocolate shell and topped with incredibly light – but also pleasingly crunchy – shards of malt, which melted away in the mouths of those who had the pleasure to be there, to nothing. They wanted to moan and roll their eyes back into their heads. Some did.

Gigi and Bradley didn't have that pleasure, though. They had canceled at the very last minute, because they had just broken up, according to Browne. So Thom and Andrew showed up on their own and had a great time anyway.

The venue was a complete and total home run. Not only all the attendees were absolutely blown away but also Thom Browne had had a change of heart right then and there, after seeing Sydney helping Carmy serve the Wagyu on live coals.

"I want you two!" The designer announced. And Andrew looked at him and smiled as he knowingly nodded along. It was as if he was reading Thom's mind.

"Oh my! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Andrew was emphatically on the same page as Thom but Syd and Carmy had no idea what they were talking about.

After the perfect F&F night was over and congratulations poured in for Carmy and some for Syd as well, all the guests left and Carmy could finally breathe again without feeling that awful tightness in his chest.

He was a different person after that night. Carmy had finally exorcized the ghost of Friends & Family past.

Three days later Richie received a call from Thom Browne's team to make a reservation for one for the next day, knowing there was a waiting list of 8 weeks and giving a rat's ass about it. They knew for a fact that Thom Browne was 100% going to be accommodated if he wanted to dine there. And they were not wrong. Richie made sure he was.

What Thom Browne wanted to do though, was not precisely dine at The Bear but rather scout the 2 new stars of his next Uniform collection.

Since he saw Syd and Carmy together he could not stop thinking about it. Gigi and Bradley had to be re-cast anyway because their break up changed it all, they no longer wanted to work together on that campaign, so Thom saw that as the perfect opportunity to offer his long-time friend Carmy Berzatto the chance to step in as the face (and body) of Thom Browne's upcoming uniform collection: Fairest Creatures. When he saw Syd's beauty and the sex appeal she exuded plus the undeniable chemistry they both had, it was a no-brainer for him. Syd and Carmy had to replace Gigi and Bradley. And that was it. Thom was not taking no for an answer and he knew for a fact that no was going to be Carmy's default response. He fully expected that. So he took it upon himself to convince them and that's how he ended up dining at The Bear that Tuesday night and not leaving the place till he had both love birds onboard.

It certainly wasn't easy, but he got it done.

Just four weeks later, Syd and Carmy flew out to New York, and after getting acquainted with the set and the crew they started striking poses following Niklas Hoejlund's clear and kind directions. He kept saying "Just be free, chefs! BE FREE!" And after the 10th time, both Syd and Carmy felt exactly that: free.

The photo shoot went soooo well that Thom did not let them go. After seeing the backstage footage he felt compelled to ask them, beg them actually, to stick around in New York for a couple of more days to shoot yet another campaign. The Thom Browne's underwear new collection. That was another re-cast move because Gigi and Brad's new relationship status required it.

After 24 hours of intense negotiations and a lot of money thrown on the table by Browne's team, Syd and Carmy agreed to lead the underwear campaign but under one condition: No faces. Just their bodies were going to be shot. They had no problem with their tattoos being on display, they just didn't want to show their faces. Thom loved the idea and when she was on board the deal was closed.

Syd and Carmy's contracts were re-negotiated and updated right away and what was supposed to be a 2 day deal for Syd and Carmy turned into a week in New York where they pretended to be models and started to feel the camera was their friend. Their chemistry trespassed the lenses. They were on fire. The contrast of their skins and the beauty of their bodies made it impossible not to stare at them. Their bodies were intertwined in a couple of shots and those were the most popular ones. Carmy's chiseled abs and v-lines took the central stage at some point of the shoot but were quickly overshadowed by Syd's slender and superb legs. Then it was Carmy's biceps turn to capture the camera, enveloped by Syd's long fingers. The face shots were close-ups that focused on their eyes. His blue and her darkness, drilling the lenses was what Niklas wanted to enshrine and he did it, beautifully. That's how Syd and Carmy's dance was forever immortalized by Niklas and admired by anyone with a pair of functioning eyes.

A few weeks later both campaigns were launched and they broke the internet and the sales.

The chef whites flew out of the shelves and flooded the custom waiting lists.

That Thom Browne underwear collection was such a hit that he was practically forced by the firm that managed his brand to get a Hollywood Blvd. billboard for the first time in his career. Syd and Carmy were both up there, causing car accidents.

When everything was said and done, and everyone had raved about Syd and Carmy's wonderful work in front of the camera, Thom mailed Carmy a package containing a huge black and white picture of Carmy grabbing Syd by the waist, chest to chest, resting his face on her shoulder, with his eyes closed, as her arms were loosely wrapped around his neck. It almost looked like he was breathing her in and his features looked so peaceful that the image invited whoever looked at it to take a deep breath. Their faces had not been cropped out and her eyes looking right into the camera, defying whoever was on the other side of it were like daggers. The perfect shot.

The picture was framed and on the back, there was a letter Thom had handwritten for his models:

"Dear Carmy & Sydney,

Since I saw you two together I could only think of how you, Carmy, have finally met your match and I couldn't be happier.

I still vividly remember how a few years ago you sent me your sketch of a jacket you wanted me to custom-make for your business partner. Little did I know back then she was going to become your life partner. What I did know was that she sparkled a candour in your voice that I had never heard before, not to mention that she moved you to use your phone, call me directly, and request the jacket to be expedited, which I gladly arranged for you, because I knew that if you got to the point of actually using your phone for someone, that person had to be a VIP. She clearly is. Probably the most important one and I'm so happy for you two, for how you found each other in a world where finding a real partner is probably the hardest thing to do. We, those who have, are the luckiest creatures that ever walked this Earth. We are the Fairest creatures. I named my campaign after this legend, that you two reminded me of when I saw you together. I wasn't going to, but I had to after seeing you two work your magic together.

The jacket you designed for her back then and that I made in record time on demand, features two lines, a blue one and a red one, that I took the liberty of adding with your consent. Remember? Those lines represent the Biyi Birds, the Fairest creatures. I've been working around that concept for a while now, and it magically led me to you two.

Let me tell you a little bit about this love legend that my crane, Andrew, once told me and has been inspiring me ever since.

Bi Yi Niao, also known as Jian Jian and Man Man, are the most popular and well-known birds in Chinese mythology. They represent undying love, the union of two halves to form a whole. 

They live on Chongwu Mountain and have cyan feathers with a touch of red, each has only one eye and one wing. They can only fly together for eternity. These Cranes symbolize "The love of a lifetime".

The great poet from Tang Dynasty Po Chü said about them: On high, we’d be two love birds flying wing to wing, On earth, two trees with branches twined from spring to spring.

I hope Syd and you can be the physical representation of this love legend. That is my wish for you two.

Love,

Thom.

P.S. Thank you for flying with my art."

A/N: I've been wanting to see a campaign like JAW'S CK featuring JAW and Ayo for months now. I know it's never gonna happen. So a few days ago when JAW's new CK campaign came out I started imagining what if Sydcarmy ever did that, wouldn't that be AWESOME?! And I kinda, barely, wrote it in one of my previous fics #Sydcarmychefskiss but that storyline demanded a fic of its own, so here it is. Some of the dishes are from the Michelin Guide, as usual, and the whole Chef's counter is an idea I got from Atomix's NYC, owned by a married couple. (Sydcarmy wishful thinking). The Biyi birds theory is part of my meta, which you can find here and on my Tumblr tag #gingerpovs. The dividers are by @caeliangel

[yezzyyae]

Ima black woman and I don’t see no romantic chemistry between Sydney & Carmy. I watched the show literally 1x a week now. After season 2 I had to take a 2 week pause because it was soo great I had a panic attack thinking about how my life would be once this show ends for good lol I know I am extreme. But its not 1x did I see sexual chemistry from Sydney & Carmy. They are friends to me literally remind me of my boss & me we there together everyday so of course we are close of course we can finish each other sentences but we don’t know everything about each other (hence Carmy didn’t even know Syd’s mother was dead, Syd didn’t even know how Michael died). There is no slow burn from them they both are awkward people who works together trying to figure life out. Carmy gravitated to Syd because she speaks his language concerning food. Syd went to culinary school she knows what high end dining consists of so Carmy need her around so he can bounce ideas off of her. Carmy is not in love with Syd he thinks of her during his panic attack because she is the only person who would be feeling like him in that moment overwhelmed and nervous about “Family & Friends” night. Carmy wants to be a mentor & friend to Syd something he didn’t have when he was working himself up in the culinary school & in the restaurants world. Syd helps Carmy focus on what is in front of him and not be an asshole which Syd is but that’s another story. Carmy wants a family his is dysfunctional so thinking of Syd let’s him know he can do whatever he put his head too and he is worthy of the success he is having. I don’t understand why people is putting romance into their relationship it’s not fair is it’s cheesy. It takes away from the actor(Jeremy Allen White) & actress (Ayo Edebiri) talent it takes away from how the are playing the roles. They both said the relationship is platonic Jeremy Allen White said he know Carmy have no place for love so he is not even playing him as sexy. Even when he meets Claire you can see Carmy telling himself that it won’t work he is not used to having fun or being happy. I don’t see Carmy looking at Sydney one day saying “omg I’m in love with you�� let run this business and add sex & love into the mix. It’s so stupid it cheapen the whole show. Please leave “The Bear” alone Carmy is Sydney’s boss & mentor. Why add sex into the picture Carmy is not that horny of a man.

Some of you guys didn’t care about platonic relationships between men and woman until Syd and Carmy. And I wonder why?

Who’s gonna tell the white people that they’re starting to sound like the homophobes when people ship two males?

[thebearer]

Okay, I feel like Teddy would have broken bones throughout her childhood for sure. But like, imagine Carmy and reader being so worried when Teddy gets hurt each time, and like the one time when she breaks or injures something and she needs to have surgery for it how freaked they are about it and like Tina, and Richie and everyone is there waiting for her. And Teddy would totally beg Marcus to make her all the desserts for her while she recovers. Thanks! I got a little carried away, lol.

i feel like teddy, yes. like ofc she's accident prone (she's literally just a ball of energy lol) but imagine this... it's willow.

like willow is so calm and sweet, but she's so clumsy too. and for some reasons she's always the one getting hurt. mainly bc teddy is so rough with her, not even intentionally, like she's just more fearless and wild.

they're jumping on the trampoline, and teddy is going absolutely insane bc a trampoline??? fuck yeah. and she's bouncing with little four year old willow, who's trying to keep up but her sister (in classic older sister style) has double bounced her like seven times. there's a net and you're watching, warning teddy each time she gets too wild, but then it happens- in seemingly slow motion.

teddy bounces willow, who flies for a second, before falling back on her side, extending her arm to brace her fall. you hear the pop! and then a shuddered breath before willow is wailing, her arm hanging by her side, bone sticking against the skin.

you're nearly lightheaded, screaming for carmen, trying to get willow off the trampoline carefully. teddy is scared to death, of course, and is sobbing too. and carmen is so overwhelmed, walking out frantically to your scared tone and two sobbing babies.

you spend your night and most of the morning in the er, each holding a crying child trying to console them. they tell you willow's break was bad and she'll need surgery, which makes you want to cry now too. carmen looks like he might genuinely pass out because the thought of his baby going to surgery???? he's horrified. needs his emotional support pepto asap.

they get her in pretty easily, and your family and friends (most from the bear) come to see her, bring her gifts and things afterwards. willow is terrified, bright eyes just wide and skittish when they tell her she's going to take a nap and come back with a cast.

carmen opts to be the parent in the waiting room, agreeing to follow all the procedures just to keep her calm until they get her under because willow would not go back there without him.

you're smothering her face in kisses. "daddy's gonna go with you, and he'll be with you the whole time, wills." you coo, smoothing a hand down her hair. "you'll get a pretty blue cast on, and then me and teddy and everyone can sign it for you. and marcus will bring you cupcakes. how's that sound?"

willow is sniffling, shuddering breaths that have your heart breaking but agrees. carmen hugs you and teddy good bye before going with them.

you're thankful richie is there, a sentence you never thought you'd say. your thankful he brought eva to keep teddy distracted, and that he could talk to a fucking brick wall if he had to. thankful he was there to keep you distracted so you didn't keep checking the time.

willow comes back, still asleep, all bandaged and wrapped up in a sling. carmen looks like he might need to throw up, which he does, but he's relieved.

willow spends the next night in the hospital, surrounded by toys and balloons and flowers- and of course, marcus brings her cupcakes.

she gets her cast eventually, and carmen draws on it for her with a sharpie. it wasn't very good, in his opinion, a little difficult to sketch with the cast material and a sharpie but willow seems to love it. giggles loudly when he shows her the various animals he'd drawn for her.

teddy enjoys it too. especially because with the influx of "get well soon" toys, she gets to play with them too. opting to "help" willow, of course, since her arm was broken. willow doesn't seem to mind, playing with her free hand with her sister, and you're just happy she's feeling better.

[smut-angel]

so if we want to talk about canon… i would like to request the reader talking carmy through how to please them

YES ANON THIS IS THE ENERGY I WANNA SEE

you are the first person carmen has ever been with so of course he's nervous. he loves you and he wants to please you in every way humanely possible. for the both of you, sex is not a high priority on your lists when it comes to relationship, but when it came time that you were both ready to do the deed, carmen wanted to do his best. you two have had heavy make-out sessions before but this particular night it was especially steamy. you two couldn't keep your hands off of each other. pulling at the hems of each other's pants and shirts, tugging hair, moaning and grinding against each other; the works. by this point, carmen was as hard as a rock and you were extremely aroused.

"i need you…more of you," carmen whispered, your mouths against each other's slightly open. you kiss him more before saying, "are you sure?" he nods, admiring your body which sits on top of his open lap.

"i wanna make you feel good," he replies. just hearing him say this makes you even more aroused.

"okay. touch me then," you dare him. you knew this was sort of mean, as carmen's eyes wandered your body, wondering what to touch, squeeze, or stroke first. he was visibly overwhelmed, making you laugh a bit. you took his hand, using it as a puppet to touch the places that ached and throbbed. when on your chest, he pinched your erect nipples, making you squeal.

slowly, you trailed his hand below your chest, down your stomach, and right above your hip bone. carmen pulled away, his face getting red as tomato, his cock hard as steel. “i-i don’t know how-“

“i’ll teach you,” you interupt, taking off your underwear. you take his hand again, making him rub the tender flesh between your legs. he gulps as you start to writhe and moan at the feeling. soon, you hand no longer shadows over his, instead, carmen’s gotten the rhythm of it. you realized that you were becoming greedy, grinding yourself against carmen’s hand coaxing your own orgasm.

“can i touch you too?” you ask him. he nods furiously at you before whispering a strained “yes.” now, you both sat facing each other, massaging, rubbing, each other’s wet, hot skin.

the entire night is filled with carmen being attentive to you; studying your movements and reactions, what you like and don’t like, and telling him things like:

“slowly, bear. don’t rush.”

“that’s so good, carmy. god, you’re doing so good for me.”

[yukiwrites]

A Clumsy Addition

Thank you so much for commissioning me again, @arod7293! I hope you like it!

Summary: After seeing yet another child of ELise and Ryoma’s, Felicia and Azura feel the need to expand their family by one more member -- and the maid is happy to be the host for their baby this time. Young Arete is on her way!

Commission info HERE and HERE!

The kingdom of Hoshido was in a state of joy. Their small Queen Elise had been carrying King Ryoma's second child for the past nine months -- and even though it was her second pregnancy, the people's thoughts and prayers stayed with her since she was so tiny while Ryoma was a large man. They worried for their Queen's wellbeing during the entire pregnancy, but that came to an end the very day the royal family gained yet another family member -- a big baby girl with a loud voice and brown hair was born.

"We won't release her name until a while from now, but it's fine to tell you since you're my family!" Elise chirped happily as she welcomed her siblings for yet another baby shower. "She's Carmellia! Like the flower and like my beloved Big Sis, heehee!"

Well, 'welcomed' might not have been the right word: she was still in bed from the birthing, but, this time, Shiro welcomed the guests with a prideful puff of chest.

"Baby shistah, Shiro's." He would point to Carmellia's tiny futon, patting it so as to encourage people to sit closer so he could show his sister off to people.

Camilla cried a little after seeing her namesake cooing uncomfortably and adorably by her small cot. "And you named such a sweet little bun of adorableness after me? I'm unworthy, Elise!" She hugged her youngest sister, wanting to squeeze her dry, but mindful of her condition.

"Heehee... I don't think I'm still there yet in this 'motherhood' thing, so I always keep striving to be like you, Big Sis. I hope naming this little one after you will give me the strength I need to be their guiding light." Elise said awkwardly, smiling softly as she caressed her baby's fluffy cheek. "I just want them to do a good job in raising them like you did with me."

"Oh, my darling!" Camilla sniffled, pressing her forehead on Elise's. "You've already grown so very much since we were young; surely you are already an outstanding mother to these little meat buns. Aren't I right, Shiro-bun?"

The toddler flashed a wide, toothless grin, nodding vehemently. "Uh-huh! Mommy's best Mommy!"

"Shiroooo!" Elise sobbed, snatching her son from his seat to give him a bear hug.

"A-Azuraaaa!" Felicia hiccupped from the door, not wanting to disturb the adorable display of familial love. "I don't know how to announce ourselvess! Everything is s-so cute!"

The princess patted her wife's shoulder, her heart warm from watching the scene unfold. "We will have our opportunity, hm?" She looked down to the toddlers by their feet.

Shigure held onto Felicia's skirt as Linnea stood in front of Azura, both of them watching Shiro being manhandled by his mother and aunt.

Suddenly, Linnea raised her hand as though asking for permission to speak, though she waited for none and spoke anyway. "Lin' too! Huggies, Mommy!" She raised her other arm, stumbling over her own chubby feet to turn around to Azura.

"Shi-Shigure too..." The boy held onto Felicia's leg, pouting visibly.

Both mothers clutched their hearts in adorableness, bending down to pick their children up. "What spoiled little children we have here!" Azura giggled, booping Linnea's nose. The little girl giggled enthusiastically, hiding in her Mommy's shoulder. Shigure looked from his sister to Felicia, his eyes shining expectantingly.

The maid blushed deeply, her heart being maimed by the cuteness of her children. "W-what a spoiled little child w-we have here...!" She stuttered, embarrassed, booping Shigure's nose right after.

The toddler smiled brightly, giggling into his Mama's shoulder. "Heeheee, MAMA'S the best Mama." He said loud enough for the whole room to hear, catching Elise's, Camilla's and Shiro's attention.

The young High Prince puffed his cheeks. "It's MOMMY!" He struggled to disentangle himself from Elise, jumping on the wooden floor.

"Mama!" Shigure didn't even look to Shiro, holding onto Felicia instead. The maid, on her part, was on the verge of having a crying fit due to how utterly cute her child was.

"Mommy!!" Shiro stomped on the floor, his chubby cheeks so stuffed it looked like he had overeaten.

"Yeah! Mommy!" Linnea kicked her feet by Azura's arms, pointing to the princess.

"Oh, my!" Azura gasped softly with a smile.

Shiro's brow furrowed deeply for a second or two, his small brain trying to understand what had happened, but soon a clicking sound could almost be heard inside his head. "MY Mommy!"

"Mine!" Linnea and Shigure said in unison, overwhelming the solo High Prince on the floor. His lips started trembling as his eyes shone with tears.

"MINE!" He stomped on the floor. "Mine, mine, mine!"

"There, now, Shiro! Be good to your cousins, please?" Elise tried to appease her son from her futon while Camilla giggled.

"Isn't it adora- oh, dear, we woke little Carmellia."

"Ah!" Shiro snapped out of it, quickly running towards his little sister. "I sorry! Big bro do shh now!" He panicked.

"Aww, you're already a full-fledged big brother now, aren't you, Shiro?" Elise pinched her firstborn's cheek before collecting Carmellia from her futon, intent on breastfeeding her. "Little Carmy's so lucky, isn't she?"

Shiro widened his eyes, his cheeks reddening with pride. "M-mhm! Shiro best big bro!" He nodded as he watched his mother coddle the little baby, poking her chubby arms gleefully. "Heehee...!"

"Maybe we should excuse ourselves for now," Azura said in a low voice so as not to upset the baby even more. "Forgive us for making a scene-"

"Oh, psh, Shiro's like that with everything!" Elise shook her head, adjusting Carmellia on her breast. "He's just like Ryoma, competitive about everything! Can you believe it? He's TWO!"

"Heehee," Felicia giggled, finding a place to sit. "Shiro's so energetic; just like Linnea." The maid put Shigure over her lap, criss-crossing her hands over his belly.

Azura watched how her wife got all mushy about the royal baby and smiled to herself, quietly sitting beside her. She put Linnea on the floor, the toddler immediately taking off to the futon so as to take a closer look at Carmellia.

She and Shiro exchanged some gibberish baby words, though it actually looked like they were understanding each other as they pointed from Shigure to Elise to Carmellia and finally to Camilla. It seemed like a very important discussion, so the adults simply sat back and watched them do their thing.

Despite their young age, it was surprising how well the three toddlers behaved in the presence of a smaller baby than themselves. Shiro made Linnea and Shigure sit in front of him as he spoke of something serious-sounding in their baby language, as though he were a teacher giving a lecture.

Felicia inadvertently took Azura's hand as they sat there, side by side in that room filled with motherly love. It was as though she was in a trance, watching that young Elise grow up into such a beautiful and caring mother.

It made the maid wonder if she ever could be like that, as well.

Of course, don't get Felicia wrong -- she was as much Linnea's and Shigure's mother as Azura, that was a fact.

But- but she... She wondered how it would feel to carry the fruit of hers and Azura's bond; to nurture it, bring it to life and be the first one to hold it after it was born... Somehow, she found herself thinking that it would be great to have another addition to their small and happy family.

And this time, she would be the one to get pregnant.

"Azura, I..." She whispered as the toddlers got along in the middle of the room.

The princess squeezed her wife's hand. "I am quite sure I know what you'll say, my love." She rested her head on Felicia's shoulder. "And I do think it would be such a great happiness I do not know how to cope with it."

Felicia teared up immediately, sliding one hand through her wife's back, holding her waist. "Oh, Azura...!"

They didn't need words.

Their bond was strong to the point of conveying their strongest feelings through it without so much of a conversation.

They would do it -- they wanted to have another bond child; to make their family even more wholesome than it already was. They would have a third child.

Since Linnea and Shigure didn't need breastfeeding nor constant attention during the nights, Felicia and Azura felt comfortable in leaving them behind for two days or three while they enclosed themselves inside the same DeepRealm that had welcomed them during Azura's pregnancy.

Of course, the twins couldn't be left alone, so they would spend this short week with their aunts Corrin and Rhajat, who happily volunteered to take care of the little ones. Well, Corrin happily volunteered as Rhajat simply smiled shyly under her bangs, always enjoying the presence of little children around her.

Felicia and Azura felt like newlyweds preparing for their honeymoon -- they clearly remembered how dream-like the first eight months of retreat inside the DR were.

Being only around each other, 24 hours a day, worrying only about what name to give to their little baby.

Of course, they would miss the twins terribly, so they would take some of their toys and baby clothes alongside their luggage so as to appease the hole the toddlers surely would leave in their hearts.

They thought about taking Shigure and Linnea with them, but were scared that the DeepRealm would rob them of their youth, much like what had happened to Rhajat and the other DR children. Azura and Felicia wanted their babies to grow up following the proper wheels of time, inside the real world they were born in.

Over the course of the next week, the wives decided on the smallests details, making sure to tell the twins that they would only go away for a short while and to be good children to aunt Corrin and aunt Rhajat.

"Lin be good! Mama and Mommy go!" Linnea saluted clumsily, too young to have eye-to-hand coordination as Shigure held onto her.

"Shigure too. No late, Mama. No late, Mommy." He pouted, already missing his mothers before they even started making their bags to go.

"We were blessed with such good children, weren't we, my love?" Azura picked Linnea up as Felicia did the same with Shigure, sharing a big and warm family hug.

"Mhm; and we're about to be blessed with yet another good girl or boy."

The ritual would be performed inside the DeepRealm, unlike before. After all, neither the wives nor the Queens wanted the children to witness their Mama fainting after being kissed by their Mommy; it would only bring unnecessary distress to their young, budding hearts.

"You know the drill," Rhajat handed each of them a ritual knife, placing a bowl over the table between them so as to collect the blood. "No need to be so nervous, alright? Last time, you almost fainted even though Azura was the one having her stamina sapped." The Queen Consort pointed to the eerily-calm maid.

"Oh, um," Felicia smiled, glancing from her wife to the bowl, then to the Queen Consort. "I think NOW I can understand what Azura felt that time, you know? She simply... trusted me. Trusted that I would be the first thing she would see when she woke up and that I would make sure to catch her; just like I do now."

"I'll make sure our heads don't bonk, either." Azura teased.

"T-that's mean! They didn't bonk that time..."

Rhajat snorted, pushing the bowl closer to them. "... I'll have your blood, now."

"Right," they said in unison, smiling at each other before cutting their wrists and watching the red liquid flow from their arms to the bowl for a short couple of seconds before the healing magic of the ritual knives kicked in and closed their wounds.

"Remember to-"

"Hold our hands, yes." Azura nodded, intertwining her fingers with her wife's closing her eyes. "Our bond will not lose, Rhajat."

"... I believe it." The Queen Consort whispered under her breath, taking the blood so as to add the potion -- the mixture once again turned into a bright shade of pink, signaling its success. "I wonder if mine and Corrin’s would reflect such a clear color... I'm somewhat jealous," she said to herself, but immediately shook her head, walking towards Azura. "This time, you'll be the one drinking it, then kissing your wife."

Azura groggily opened her eyes, the ritual already possessing both wives, sapping them of their strengths and zoning out their senses. She gulped the potion in one go, listening to the sound of her own rasped breathing.

So that's how Felicia felt the day they conceived -- the potion burned from her lips to her insides; it was a fire that could only be put down with the sweetness of her wife's taste. Azura caressed Felicia's cheek, pulling her towards her so they could share a kiss that felt like their first: wild, raw, with fire descending their throats as their bond enveloped them kindly.

They kissed deeply and slow, the hotness leaving Azura's body and entering Felicia's, the magic neatly taking its place in the maid's womb.

Felicia felt her legs give out, but Azura held her close by her waist, unwilling to let go; unwilling to let that kiss end.

The princess and the maid lost themselves in each other's arms until the consciousness left Felicia's body entirely, her mind drifting to their calm and loving future alongside their new child.

The maid woke up two days later over the very bed Azura had used years ago, during their first pregnancy.

"Pregnancy..." Absentmindedly, Felicia trailed her left hand to her stomach, wondering if she could feel something changing inside of her already.

Well, apart from the overflowing love for her wife, her body didn't feel much different than what she remembered; her right hand clasped with her wife's who slept right beside her.

So this was how Azura felt at that time. Such overflowing love! It took everything Felicia had not to start sobbing right there and then, just by watching her beloved sleeping soundly as she refused to let go of her hand.

"Azura..." Felicia whispered lovingly, lying on her side so as to take her wife's beauty in. "So this is how you felt that time..."

"Oh, my darling Felicia," Azura whispered as she slowly opened her eyes, brought back to the world of waking by her wife's voice. "I cannot describe the happiness I feel right now -- after having conceived our child into you; after physically feeling our bond envelop us kindly and lovingly as the ritual drew to a close... Our feelings are one, my love."

"Azura...!" Felicia sniffled, pressing their foreheads against one another as she caressed the princess' cheek. "I can't wait to meet our little one! I really, really can't wait!"

"I am so very much looking forward to spend these eight months in your presence only, my love." Azura whispered over Felicia's lips, taking them with the last of her breath. "I love you so, my Felicia."

"Mmph..." Felicia rolled her eyes in pleasure with the sudden kiss, shyly grasping her wife's nightgown, bringing her warm body closer. "I love you too, my dear Azura..."

The days, weeks and months that followed were each unique and filled with so much love they were fit to burst. Of course, there were their share of tears, as well -- the first time Felicia saw her bump grow, or the day she felt the baby move; or even the first time it kicked so hard it made her lose her balance. All of them were filled with happy tears, clumsy laughter and a lot of cuddling.

They read under the shade of trees, they shared their dreams under the covers before going to sleep; they napped into each other's arms by the fireplace once the weather got cold.

"Say, Azura?" Felicia caressed her seven-months stomach one evening, lying on one of the hammocks they had by the veranda.

"Hmmm?" Azura tilted her head to her wife, never taking her eyes off of the little pair socks she was sewing.

"Do... do you remember the day we went to visit Lady Elise's little girl?" The maid stuttered, her heart pounding by her chest. She had had this idea for the longest time, but could never find the right words to convey it to Azura.

"Of course I do, silly."

"Then... Do you remember how Lady Elise said that she wanted to borrow Lady Camilla's strength by naming little Carmellia after her?"

Finally seeing where her wife wanted the conversation to go, Azura put the crochet over her lap, raising her gaze to Felicia. "Mhm...?"

The maid blushed. "I- What do you think if we- um," she twiddled her thumbs awkwardly, "I also want to borrow the strength of someone I look up to but never had the chance to meet before and I... wanted to give this name to our baby if we're blessed with another girl."

Azura touched Felicia's hand, caressing it with her thumb. "Go on."

"Doyouthinkwecannameourdaughterafteryourmother,Arete?" Felicia said in one breath, panting right after.

The yarn ball and needles fell on the floor. "After Mother...?"

"Oh, um," Felicia glanced at the rolling yarn ball, then back at her wife. "Is that no goo-mmmph!" Azura silenced her wife with a surprise kiss, carefully holding her into her thing arms.

"Of course we can, my love! Oh, Mother, how I wish you were here to see this! The child of me and my beloved, named after the most important person of my early life... I didn't think I could feel this happy, and yet you always surprise me, Felicia!"

"Heehee," the maid giggled awkwardly, resting her cheek on her wife's. "I want little Arete to live happily, with a great name to protect her down the road."

"Yes... Oh, most certainly!" Azura sniffled, her wife's words moving her deeply. "I cannot wait to share these news to the world, my love...! One month to go and we can go back to our children and introduce them to their little sister...!"

"Though I also wanna stay here a bit longer with you..." Felicia pouted adorably, making Azura steal yet another kiss.

"We will be together always, my love. For as long as we live."

The following month came as quickly as it went, and soon the wives were back at the real world -- Felicia sporting a large and healthy bump.

"Mama fat!" Linnea blurted out the very moment they reunited, not even giving her mothers the time to hug her.

"M-Mama sick?" Shigure teared up, stumbling on his chubby legs to hug Felicia's.

Azura laughed heartily, crouching down to pat their twin's heads. "You two remember how Shiro turned into a big brother, hm?" She asked, receiving two confused nods in return. "Well, you will be big siblings too! Mama is holding your little sister inside her tummy until she's big enough to leave."

"MAMA’S TUMMY WARM?!" Linnea gasped loudly, running towards the already sitting Felicia. "Warm!" She touched her mother's knee, the highest she could reach from down the floor.

"Mhm! Your little sister is nice and cozy here," Felicia tapped her stomach. "You'll meet her soon!"

"Shigure big bro?" He gripped at Azura's dress. The princess nodded, picking both toddlers up so she could sit on the bed, beside her wife.

"Yes, you will be soon."

"I think we arrived just in time for the public announcement of Carmellia's name, right? Wait, is that right? We spent eight months in there for us, but only a week passed here, yeah...?" Felicia looked up in confusion.

"Indeed; I'm quite sure our presence will be required at the temple later this week. Do you want to go? I do not want you to push yourself..."

"I wanna go! I wanna see little Carmellia again; and I wouldn't want to deny Lady Elise's invitation! I'm still at my eighth month, so I'm fine!" She made a flexing movement and smiled.

"Very well, then we shall attend. I was told Forrest would bring ceremonial kimonos to the whole family."

"T-the toddlers included?" Felicia blushed.

Azura nodded in understanding. "The toddlers included."

"Awawawa... I can't wait to see them wearing miniature kimonos, aah!" She squealed in delight, pinching her own cheeks.

They've barely come back and were already thrown into the rushing pace of real life! Phew!

The weekend came quickly, and soon it was time for them to attend to the traditional ceremony at the temple: Elise would gong the central bell three times and offer a prayer to the Dawn Dragon, revealing the princess' name to it first and foremost before announcing it to the people right after.

Azura, Felicia, the twins, Corrin, Rhajat, Camilla and the others would be inside the temple in their designated seats, waiting for the people outside to calm their clamors before the private ceremony could begin and a priest could bestow the Dawn Dragon's blessings upon Carmellia.

While Elise and Ryoma were outside, Felicia moved uncomfortably in her hakama (wearing a proper kimono was out of question due to how large her belly was, after all), wondering if she could take it off on her own for a quick bathroom break.

"Azura, Azura!" Felicia whispered gravely to her wife. "I need to pee so bad, please cover for me a bit, okay? Ahh, my bladder..." She stumbled on her feet without waiting for her wife's response, quickly making her way into the far-reaching corridors of the temple.

"Do you need help with-" Azura said tentatively, but Felicia was too fast, "the hakama? Heehee, oh well."

"Mama pee a lot..." Linnea noted, looking around.

"Indeed. That happens when you have to protect a baby inside you." Azura patted her daughter's head, her gaze falling on the uproar outside.

Elise and Ryoma came back after a few more minutes, two servants quickly closing the large double doors behind them. "Phewww, I didn't remember this being so exhausting the first time!" Elise leaned on her husband, too tired to keep walking straight.

"Do not push yourself so, my tiny Queen. It was only last week that you gave birth."

"Yeahh... It really is tiring, but I gotta do it! No, I WANNA do it!"

Azura giggled at her little sister's enthusiasm, wondering at the back of her mind where in the world Felicia had gotten to.

Maybe she got lost? She IS clumsy enough for that... What if she got lost on her way to the latrines? Poor thing, she wanted to go so badly! Perhaps Azura herself should go...

But then the twins would worry, not to mention how rude it would be to the priest for her to leave. Maybe wait a few more moments before excusing herself?

The moment she opened her mouth to speak, she heard a quiet sniffling beside her. Widening her eyes, Azura noticed how Shigure sobbed silently, holding his knees.

"Shigure? My son, what's the matter?"

"Id-id hurds, Mommy...!" He hiccupped, opening his arms to hug Azura's waist.

"Where does it-"

"Mommy..." Linnea started feeling nauseous as well, tears washing down her cheeks.

Azura felt a hollow pit engulf her from inside, cold sweat streaming down her temple and back. What WAS this terribly bad feeling? It was as though a cold hand was plucking her inner organs one by one, throwing them into the pit.

"Felicia...?" She didn't hear her own voice whispering.

A door to the left opened with a bang, a hurried soldiers quickly making his way to Ryoma. "M-My Lord, a prisoner's escaped the dungeons! We managed to track him down here, but we lost him after he went into the temple!"

Azura's heart froze. A prisoner? "Who was it?" She got up, her legs moving without her meaning to. "Who was this prisoner?"

The soldier hesitated, glancing from the princess to the King. "Um, it was Ka'lik, my Lady..."

The princess' ears deafened, a thin and loud ringing sound making her consciousness waver. "Felicia... Felicia!" She turned around quickly, "please take care of the twins for me!" And left through the same door Felicia had used previously.

Dumb, idiot! How could you have let your heavily pregnant and clumsy wife wander around an unfamiliar temple without an escort?! Oh, Felicia, please be alright-

Azura ran through a series of corridors, each turn she took looking exactly the same as the previous one. "Felicia... Felicia!" She panted, the desperation in her voice making her entire body tremble.

"Because of you! I've been rotting in jail! You stupid maid!" A faint yet familiar voice reached Azura's ears.

"I don't care what you do to me, but don't touch my baby!" Felicia barked back, her voice sapped of strength.

"Felicia!" Azura hissed, turning the last corner.

"A-Azura! Don't come! He has a knife!"

Azura didn't hesitate. "And I have water." Without even losing her pace, the princess dove right into Ka'lik, summoning a large amount of water so as to envelop Ka'lik's head with it, intent on drowning him without mercy.

"Grghl!" The man gurgled, letting go of Felicia as he helplessly gripped at his own throat for air. Azura pushed him out of the way, not even sparing him a glance as his body shook with convulsions while he drowned with the round bubble of pure water covering his entire head.

"Felicia! Felicia, oh, my love; what did he do to you?!"

"S-save our baby, Azura..." The maid said faintly, looking down at the middle of her legs -- she bled.

Ka'lik had approached her from behind and kicked her several times before taking out his knife, but Felicia made sure to always keep her back to him so he wouldn't touch hers and Azura's baby.

"F-Felicia, stay with me," Azura lost the color of her face, dreading seeing her wife bleeding to death once again. "Stay with me, Felicia!"

"We'll need to deliver the baby as soon as possible." Were the midwife's first words the moment Felicia was brought in. "I have a birth-inducing medicine in the ready, so I'll need everyone but my assistants to leave-"

"I'm not leaving her." Azura gripped at her wife's hands with all of her strength. "I'm not leaving my wife."

The midwife turned to make the medicine, "then you'll have to do everything we say."

"Of course."

It would be a difficult birthing -- Felicia wasn't entirely conscious for the most part, and the healers couldn't focus their staves on her because that would also heal the birth-inducing medicine AND the wounds the baby would make while coming out.

She would need to feel the pain from start to end, but Azura wouldn't let her feel it alone. She would be there, holding her hand, the entire time.

"Don't leave me, Felicia; don't leave me..." The princess chanted the whole time, for the next five hours. She refused to move, eat or speak to anyone, simply focusing on her tired and weak wife. "You can do it, my love. Push just a bit more, okay? For our baby. For us. F-for me." She sniffled after the sixth hour, finally showing something akin to desperation.

Arete's loud crying filled the room with happiness and worry in equal amounts -- the most critical time would be now: they would need to work their staves tirelessly on Felicia to mend the wounds Ka'lik infused her as well as to stop the bleeding from the birthing.

"Can you hear it, Felicia? It's our daughter. It's as though we knew it would be a girl... It's Arete, Felicia. She's here with us. Can you hear it?" The princess' hands trembled as the midwife washed the baby, hesitant in giving it to the broken princess. She wasn't in a state to hold a little baby-

"Give- give her to me... My baby... I wanna hold her first, Azura..." Felicia tried and failed to lift her hand towards the crying sound, turning her head to the sides, delirious.

"Felicia! Oh, my love!" Azura's eyes regained their shine. "You did it, my Felicia, you delivered our daughter!" She quickly looked at the midwife, nodding for her to bring the baby closer.

It was like magic.

The moment Arete was placed over Felicia's chest, the maid regained her color, the forces she thought sapped coming back for the very reason of embracing her little baby.

"Your voice is so strong, Arete... I'm sure you'll be a great singer, like your Mommy." Felicia smiled, placing a tender kiss over the small head. Arete stopped crying slowly, the constant beating of her mother's heart under her soothing her into her first sleep.

"Felicia!" Azura cried, pressing their foreheads together. "I thought I had lost you, oh, my love!" She sobbed, her warm tears falling over Felicia's lips.

"P-please don't cry, Azura... You'll set me off too..." The maid pressed her lips into a thin line. "I'd rather you kissed me-"

"As many times as there are stars in the skies, Felicia." Azura quickly placed a soft peck on Felicia, followed by another, then yet another one. "Do not scare me like that ever again, you hear?"

"I may need more kissing for that..." Felicia teased, her breath intertwining with Azura's.

"I can provide," the princess smiled, opening her mouth for a deep and much-needed kiss.

The maid closed her eyes to enjoy her wife's taste, weakly lifting her hand to caress Azura's face. "Thank you for being here with me, Azura. I love you so much..."

"So do I, my dear Felicia... So do I."