#oder easy...

[rwpohl]

[doomdoomofdoom]

Ich finde weiterhin witzig, dass das SBGG regelt, wie die Änderung des Geschlechtseintrags sich auf die Frauenquote auswirkt, aber nicht, ob trans* Menschen ein Recht haben öffentliche Einrichtungen zu besuchen.

Mit "witzig" meine ich "unglaublich deprimierend"

Zu sagen, dass Männer das Selbstbestimmungsgesetz nutzen würden, um Frauen zu belästigen, ignoriert komplett, dass Männer das halt schon die ganze Zeit tun und dazu nicht ihren Geschlechtseintrag ändern müssen.

Komischerweise sagt niemand, dass Frauen das Selbstbestimmungsgesetz ausnutzen, um mehr Geld zu verdienen oder Posten in DAX Vorständen zu bekommen.

Vielleicht weil die Leute eigentlich doch verstehen, dass es bei all diesen Dingen nicht um den Geschlechtseintrag geht, sondern um eine strukturelle Idee von Geschlecht in Form von Körper und Verhalten und davon, wer was kann und darf.

[ayu-stuff]

"Ich liebe dich, Mama" (part 1)

A few years ago, traveling with your husband meant enjoying mojitos at the beach, having nice dinners while wearing your sexiest outfits and, of course, endless nights of loud hotel fucking. You'd traveled a lot, you two. Both in your 30s, both childless and having high-wage jobs, it was easy to discover the world. Both of you traveling from Maldives to Greece, from the Bahamas to Italy. That all changed, though, when he met Clara, the German intern at his office... Now your new Mommy. As bratty as any 21-year-old would be, she's made your whole last year a nightmare. A PEGI-3 nightmare, though: infantilizing diaper changes combined with mushy feedings and early bedtimes wearing thick fabric onesies. A dream come true. Or, at least, her dream come true.

And now she'd managed to make him pay for a week in Berlin for the three of you. Just like a little family! They'd been granted some holidays, and you, of course, had given up work on his command months ago. It was difficult losing your 150k salary in exchange for a lifelong sentence to diapers, but you wanted to make Daddy happy so much. And Clara was more than happy to take up the same position you gave up.

Last night, they'd made you drink a whole coffee cup before bed so that your risen anxiety levels forced you to remain awake. This was so you would hear the whole pounding your ex-husband gave her through the night. Now you're still awake, dying from the insomnia and sitting in a stupid baby travel crib the hotel staff had set up on Daddy's demand.

Yesterday, the German receptionist, who was probably in her late teens, nearly died from laughing her ass off when you three checked in. It was clear the childish crib was for the overgrown toddler who was strapped to the stroller, Clara's youngest cousin had just outgrown before the trip. The bulging diapers peeking out from your colorful leggings and your bright pink paci helped her understand the situation. She even gifted you a lollipop! How nice of her.

"Was für ein süßes Baby du bist! Ich bin mir sicher, dass Mama und Papa hier die bestmögliche Lösung für dich gefunden haben, indem sie uns um die schönste Wiege der Welt für ihr kleines Baby gebeten haben. So wirst du später die Erwachsenen nicht stören! [What a cute baby you are! I'm sure that Mommy and Daddy have found the best solution for you by asking us for the prettiest crib on Earth for their little baby. That way, you won't be bothering the grown-ups later!]" She'd told you, giggling while slightly squatting down to talk to you. It was clear to her and everyone else that you hadn't understood a thing. You wanted to cry.

"Awww. Du verstehst micht nicht, oder? [Awww. You can't understand me, right?]", she went on. "Nein, die kann kein Deutsch. Genauso wie jedes Neugeborenes, HAHAHA! [No, she doesn't speak German. Just like every newborn, HAHAHA!]", Clara helped you out. Or at least, you thought she was helping you out... "Die ist wirklich mega süß. Und hast du den Geruch gemerkt? Sie scheint, ein Boom-Boom gemacht zu haben... [She is really super cute. And have you noticed the smell? It seems she made a boom-boom...]", Mommy told her. You blushed so badly when you recognized the word Boom-boom. They were talking about your diapers! "Echt? Macht sie wirklich das? WOW. Wie alt ist sie aber? [No way! Does she really do that?. WOW. But how old is she?]". "Jawohl. Ein komplett geschissenes Baby. Unglaublich peinlich HAHAHA [Of course. A completely shitty baby. Incredibly pathetic HAHAHA]. And tell her, sweetie. She wants to know your age! The real one." Both girls couldn't stop cackling when you said 34. Daddy, who hadn't understood but this, smiled at the realization that they were bullying you in a foreign language, adding playfully that you're still learning to talk like a big girl.

Is any language not foreign for a stupid baby, though?

And that was just the beginning. The baby crib was, indeed, incredibly pathetic. Unglaublich peinlich. They forced you in straightaway for what they knew was the best discipline they could inflict on you: a poopy nap. God, you hated poopy naps. They made you feel just like a fucking newborn. Genauso wie jedes Neugeborenes... And so they left you rot in your mess while they had a romantic Berlin dinner. They told you they'd be so proud of their little baby if you humped your mess while in the crib, but you are a grown-up woman, for God's sake. You had never done that and would never do that!

They were back a few hours later. It was late already, and you were so fucking hungry... You had only been fed some mushed peas in the airport's nursing area, under the ruthless scrutiny of some teen moms who also needed to microwave their infants' bibs. "Unglaublich. Die sieht wie meine Mutter aus, muss aber gefüttert werden wie mein kleiner Jonas hier. [Incredible. This woman could be my mother, but she needs to be fed like my little Jonas here]", you heard one say to herself while taking a toddler to the bathroom. To which your Mommy chimed in, holding your bib: "Tja, ich weiß, es ist ein bisschen weird, guck mal aber ihr Lätzchen! Ist sie nicht die allerhübschte Prinzessin? Ich glaub' schon! Wie alt ist dein Kleiner? Er kann stolz darauf sein, schon potty-trained zu sein, nicht wie Missy hier [Yes, I know, it's somewhat weird... but look at her bib! Is she not the prettiest princess ever? I think so! And how old is your little one? He can be proud to be already potty-trained, not like Missy here...]". Clara was showing her the waistband of your pampers. You couldn't take it anymore. "HAHAHA sorry was??? Die trägt Windeln noch??? Das muss mega peinlich sein. Jonas hier ist 2 Jahre alt und weiß, dass nur Baby Wildeln trägen müssen! [HAHAHA sorry what??? She's still wearing diapers? That has to be utterly pathetic. Jonas here is 2 years old and knows that only babies wear diapers]". They were talking about that fucking tot. It was certain they were comparing both little babies with each other... Fuck off. And just when you tried to reply, she stuffed your mouth with your always so convenient pacifier. Their chat was going to take time, apparently. And it did. The mother shared tips with your mommy on all the ways she took care of her two year old... after all, you just weren't there yet.

Anyway, last night you were hungry as hell when they opened the room door. Both of them clearly love drunk, a little tipsy, and you saw a pack of condoms in his left hand. He was probably squeezing her butt cheek with the left one, but that you couldn't see from the silly crib. And you didn't dare to get up, which was perhaps the perfect proof you belonged there. You could see that she was holding a McDonald's bag along with a big cup of coffee, though.

And here comes your Daddy. "Well, sweetie, how was your afternoon? God, it stinks in here. We'll change you right away, don't worry. But tell us: don't you have a gift for us? We were talking about how delightful it would be to find a nice, big cummy in your poopy diapers. Will we find one? Were you a good girl while we were out? I'm sure you were". Your Mommy was radiant, snickering to your reaction. "W-what, Dada? I-I.... I didn't wantchu! I-I just... fowgot! I'm sowwy!!", you stuttered through your pacifier.

"Well, that's a shame. Guess we'll throw away this Big Mac, then. No grown-up food for stupid toddlers. We'll stick to changing you. Then it's bath time for you and back in your crib. This coffee will make your tummy all rumbly so you'll learn your lesson. Daddies are to be listened to."

You shouted. Kicked. Screamed. The travel crib creaked and Daddy had to lift you up in a rush. After a well deserved spanking and your change -you could feel the utterly humiliating diaper rash all over your butt cheeks-, you behaved like an angel during bath time. After, you didn't even complain when they made you guzzle a full baby bottle of black coffee for dinner. Perfect for your weak stomach.

Back in your childish crib, wearing only your diapers, you were so humbled you didn't even react to Daddy's remarks about your "baby fat". He used to go crazy for your big, juicy udders, whereas now he just sees them as two unenticing balls of fat. "In German, we call that 'Babyspeck', love. That's what she has hanging up there. She's just a big, chubby baby!!! Why would she need sexy tits, like mine?

But now it's beddy byes for you, sweetie. Das Baby braucht Schlaf, sonst wird sie mürrisch... [The baby needs sleep, or she'll get cranky...] Awww. Do you want to learn some German? You were soo cute today, all lost in the big world... Repeat after me. No, don't take out your paci, it'll be cuter this way.

Ich-li-e-be-dich-Ma-ma."

"Ischiebesish, Mamma". You thought at this point you couldn't blush anymore.

"Again. I am Mama, you know? It means 'I love you, Mommy'. And don't you love Mama?? Ich liebe dich, Mama!"

"Ich wiebe wich, Mama!"

"Awwwww", cooed both Mommy and Daddy. "Now try to get some sleep, kiddo. You'll need it".

The morning after...

"Good morning, sweetie. Awww. Still blushing?? Your Daddy really makes me moan, you know... Well, as if you hadn't heard us from down there...".

To be continued...

[the-rainbow-of-doom]

Ah yes, ein klassischer Goethe (derogatory)

[mommyvicky001blog]

If you are an adult baby or diaper lover, this is an easy and obvious choice to make and many, many ABDLs have chosen to go 24/7 diapered and essentially eliminate potty-training. Or at least the effects of potty training. Many ABDLs seek the holy grail of wetting and even soiling like a baby with zero control. It validates their feelings, identity and experience. Rejecting toilet training has either already taken place or you are seeking a reason not to go 24/7.

Wenn Sie ein erwachsener Baby- oder Windelliebhaber sind, ist dies eine einfache und offensichtliche Wahl, und viele, viele ABDLs haben sich dafür entschieden, rund um die Uhr Windeln zu gehen und im Wesentlichen das Töpfchentraining zu eliminieren. Oder zumindest die Auswirkungen des Töpfchentrainings. Viele ABDLs suchen den heiligen Gral der Benetzung und sogar Verschmutzung wie ein Baby ohne Kontrolle. Es bestätigt ihre Gefühle, Identität und Erfahrung. Die Ablehnung des Toilettentrainings hat entweder bereits stattgefunden oder Sie suchen nach einem Grund, nicht rund um die Uhr zu gehen.

[prettywhorez]

Comfort hours

Featuring your favoritt man

Walking up the seven flights of stairs to get to your apartment is usually pretty easy but today it felt impossible. You woke up 30 minutes late, had no time for breakfast and missed the train you usually take meaning you had to wait 20 minutes ekstra for the next one. But you can't be even more late so you decided to lightly jogg towards your office in hope of not making your terrible boss even more mad than he already is...

When you got to the office after about 30 minutes, you walk in and sit down to start working but your boss comes up to you and starts complaining about how you were late, like you didn't know.

He starts shouting at you about not answering his messages or calls this morning and that's when you realized that you forgot your phone at home, probably by your nightstand.

The day goes by pretty fast but you had some work to catch up on so you needed to stay behind while the others got to go home. After finishing up and getting ready to leave you think about going across the street to the deli and get som dinner, but luck was not on your side today and you forgot your wallet at home as well.

"I can't wait for this day to be over" you think to yourself as you finish the flights of stairs and stand in front of your appartement door, fishing your keys out from your pocket and unlocking the door.

You step in and expect darkness but instead the apartment is bright and filled with light. You take your shoes and coat off before stepping into the hallway and finding your way to the kitchen which smells awfully good for some reason. When you turn into the kitchen you see your loving boyfriend in the middle with an apron on as he's in the middle of making lasagna from scratch. You can also see the garlic bread that's currently warming up in the Owen and making its oder fill the apartment and god you love that smell, you could almost cry from it.

You walk closer to your boyfriend who hasn't noticed your presence yet, and put your arms around his waist while putting your face between his shoulder blades and letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

Your boyfriend immediately turns around and wraps his strong arms around you, making you feel safe and sound.

"bad day?" he says calmly as he strokes your back and waist in a soothing manner as he feels you being tense and exhausted. All you do is nod against his chest, you fear that if you try to speak about it you might cry for real this time. He continues to hold you gently as he continues to speak "would you like to take a bath before dinner is ready? maybe have a cup of tea as well?". You practically moan at the sound of a bath and he takes that as a "yes that sounds good" before he slowly lets go of you, but not completely. His hands move up to cup your face and he strokes your cheeks while saying he will start the tub while you make some tea.

He leaves the kitchen and heads for the bathroom, while you turn to the kettle and fill it with water for two cups thinking he might like one as well. You can hear the water filling up the tub as the kettle finally starts to simmer, the smell of your favorite bath salts and soaps fill your nostrils as you make your way towards the bathroom. Leaning against the doorway you find your boyfriend sitting next to the tub with his hand in the water to make sure the temperature is right, the water is filled with soap and bubbles and you can't wait to get in it.

He turns around and smiles at you before getting up and turning off the water and walking over to you. He stopps right before you and reaches out to grab your waist with one hand while the other holds your cheek, he looks at you fondly before he leans in to meet your lips in a kiss. A kiss you desperately needed after a day like this so you lean into it and you feel yourself relaxing more and more. Its not a messy kiss, its actually quite quick but you know you'll get more later.

"Get in the tub and i´ll bring you your tea, would you like ginger or lemon?" and you almost melt at the affection hes giving you.

"lemon please" you say while smiling at him. He nods and heads out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen again. You turn around and marvel at the gorgeous bubbles in front of you while you start undressing, not bothering with closing the door.

Getting in the tub and leaning back, feeling the water reach up to your chest feels heavenly. It´s just the right temperature for you.

You can nearly close your eyes before you hear your boyfriend enter the room with two cups of tea, he putts them on the edge of the tub before sitting down next to you on the floor. He hands you your tea before taking his own cup which smells like ginger.

"the lasagna is done in about 20 minutes but if you need more time in here we can wait a bit more" you don't need more time but it´s sweet that he asks, he knows you've had a bad day since your not in a talkative mood like usual.

"thank you, for the tub and dinner I'm sure it tastes great" you say almost as a whisper. "we will se soon enough if its good or not, and don't thank me this is what boyfriends do you know" he says so casually like you haven't been dating for nearly 6 months now.

You sit there in silence for the next 10 minutes, just enjoying each others company. He knows you'll tell him about it when you're ready so there's no reason to push. "can I wash your hair?" he asks, breaking the silence between you two. you respond with a small nod before you sit upright so he can get better access to your hair. He grabs a hold of the shower head before turning it on a weak stream but its comfortable.

Having someone play with your hair feels nice but having someone wash it and shampoo it feels even better. His big hands are very gentle but firm and it feels really good. You could fall asleep like this if you weren't so hungry. After washing your hair and applying all your hair care products he puts on your little towel that holds your hair comfortable and doesn't wight you down.

He asks you to stand up and offers his hand to help you. You take it and stand up before he hands you the shower head, you take it and wash yourself to get the bubbles of you before you step out of the tub. When you step out your boyfriend immediately wraps a big towel around you and makes you sit on the bathtubs end as he goes to your bedroom to get you some clothes.

He returns quickly and sets them down on the sink before going to take the lasagna out. You dry yourself in the meantime and get dressed before you wander into the kitchen, feeling much better than before. The lasagna and garlic bread smells amazing and it looks good too. Your boyfriend is setting the table with plates and cutleries before carrying the food out and sets it in the middle of your plates.

He sits down and starts cutting up the bread and pasta before he looks at you. "come and sit down love" and you completely forget that you were still in the kitchen just staring at him. Blush creeps up on your cheeks as you walk towards him and take your place next to him while he puts some food on your plate.

You look up to the tv and native that he's put on your favorite comfort show that you've rewatched far too many times but still love. You both silently watch the show while eating and it´s a comfortable silence between you. No pressure to talk or impress each other, just enjoying the time together.

After you're both done eating the delicious food he made you both lay down on the couch to cuddle. He lets you lay on top of him while he strokes your hair and back to show you affection. You're practically purring now, feeling content and happy. You notice your eyes getting more and more heavy and you feel yourself slipping in and out of consciousness.

The last thing you hear before falling asleep is the soft voice of your boyfriend whispering in your ear "I'm always here for you no matter what and you can always count on me to show up after a bad day, goodnight love, sleep tight"

------------------

thank you for reading

sorry for any spelling mistakes :)

love Whorez.

[desi2go]

All in

Pairing: Jisung x reader

Warning: none -- college au!

summary: You are an introverted girl who just concentrates on her studies in college when she meets Jisung. Jisung was immediately mesmerized by you and wants to ask you out.

......

You always were a lone wolf. Not that you hated it, you just don't like being around many people. It made you uncomfortable because you were afraid they don't like you and talk behind your back.

Since you were a little child, you were shy and struggled with finding friends. But it wasn't that you felt lonely. You had a few friends, not many, just two or three. They literally adopted you as an introverted person and over the time you grew comfortable around these people.

But even though you appreciated their company, you loved being alone. This way you could think about everything without being distracted by something and just do your own things.

In college, you mostly were on your own because you just had a few classes with your friends. It didn't upset you or made you sad. You appreciated the time with them even more. But there was this boy, Jisung that seem to follow you everywhere. You soon realised that you had nearly every class with him and he often smiled at you whenever he saw you.

Most classmates ignored you but this boy seemed eager to become friends with you. In the morning he waves at you, smiling brightly while unpacking his things.

You often just nod and smiled a little. It made you a little bit uncomfortable that he was so friendly, not knowing why.

Usually you spend your afternoons in the library, just like today after your classes. You loved the quietness there. You unpacked your things on a small wooden table near a window. It was your favourite place in the library. From there you could easily observe the world outside with all the strangers walking by.

You listened to you music through your headphones, deep into your lecture that you needed for your presentation at the end of the week. At first you didn't realise that the brown haired boy made his way to your table and sat down on the other side. As you grabbed your pen from your pencil case, you shortly looked up just to see Jisung staring at you with a sweet smile.

Because of the scare, you dropped your pen to the floor. So, you quickly lift it from the floor.

"Hi Y/n!" He said, resting his arms on the table and placing his head in his hands. "Uhm, Hey."

"What are you doing? Your presentation? I finished mine yesterday. Hopefully I get a good mark for it" He told you. You just nodded and turned your attention to your work.

You felt uncomfortable as he kept looking at you. You would spend a thousand dollars for his thoughts. He placed two cups on the desk. "I thought you would like to have something to drink right now, so I brought you one" He gave the cup to you as you took it from him with a thank you. You took a sip and were surprised. It was an iced americano, your favourite. "How do you know I like iced americano?"

"Well, you drink it nearly every morning and overheard your oder it in the café near the library."

"Thank you very much" you whispered but as his smile grew wider, you knew he had heard you.

......

Since that day, Jisung accompanied you nearly every single time you were in the library. Usually he would come after some time with some snacks that he sneaked into or a drink. And after some time you grew more comfortable with him around. You often listened to him telling you about his day and funny stories from his childhood. Even though you wouldn't admit it but you grew fond of his company. But one question was still in your head every time he talked to you. Why? Why did he spend his time with you when he could be with his friends? He was really outgoing and found friends pretty easy. So, why you?

As he accompanied you today, you took all your confidence and finally asked him. " Jisung, why do you spend so much time with me?" He was surprised by the straight question but answered quick. "Because I like you. You're friendly and a great listener"

You nodded with a smile. You didn't expect such an answer. "By the way, Y/n. I would like to take you out to the new café later, if you want?" Slowly a small blush turned his cheeks into a soft pink. You swallowed and glanced at your hands for a few seconds. "I would love to go with you" you said with a thin voice. Jisung gave you the biggest smile he had.

"Actually, I thought about it as a date." He slowly admitted and shocked you with it. He wanted to go with you on a date? He? You played with your hands, unsure what to say. Maybe you just didn't understand it correctly. Or maybe it's a joke to him. You read so many books, where the boy dated a girl for a challenge. Your mind swirled.

"I-uhm. I don't think... I-I gotta go" You mumbled and quickly shoved everything into your backpack before running away, leaving a confused Jisung behind.

.....

After that you were stiff around him. You didn't know how to act around him anymore. Your best friend kept telling you that you should give him, love, a chance and not jump into conclusions immediately. The next few days you kept avoiding the sweet boy.

When you went into the library you sat on the table far away from your favourite seat because you feared that Jisung would confront you about it. So, you hid into a corner and hoped he wouldn't notice you.

Unfortunately, he found you and quickly strolled in your direction before you could storm out.

You sighed. You hated confrontations. "Y/n. Here are you. I looked for you everywhere." He said. You just nodded and played with your fingers. "Look. I'm sorry, if I scared you with it but I really would go out with you." "Why?" You asked quietly.

"Because like you. And not just in a platonic way. Since you showed up in class for the first time, I was mesmerized by you." Jisung explained with a bright blush on his cheeks. "And I'm not giving up, because you are worth fighting as I realised when I actually got to know you. I'm going all in"

[personwhowrites]

Pls pls!

Can I ask for the 141 gang (+ Alejandro and Valeria) reacting to an y/n that starts yelling in german when angry. (Like an angry spanish Mama) 🙏🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️

Sure! Sadly, I did have to use google translate since I don’t know German. So blame google 😀

Task Force members ~wanted all of them to react together~

You are having an awful day already, bad news at home and an issue with a rookie who decided to make your life hell. You walk into the briefing room angry and tired from your whole day. Price has called a meeting about the next following mission. You stare at the table, not caring about the file next to you. Soap is kicking the side of you chair, while Gaz is coughing as he had been sick the previous days.

“Listen, we all have to get this mission done and you all can go home for Christmas.” Price says looking at a hologram. “We will all need to do our best.”

“Don’t we always?” Gaz says slamming the file on the table. “Come on price we know the deal by no—“

“I don’t care, we all have to go over this because sometimes people..” Price says looking over at sopa who keeps kicking the side of your chair. “Tend to go their own ways and almost get everyone killed.”

“One time!” Soap yells making you finally snap and stand up from your chair. “..Y/n?”

“Ihr benehmt euch alle wie kleine verdammte Kinder! das bringt mich dazu, mich umzubringen!” You yell shaking your head and grabbing the file next to you. “Hör dir einfach den verdammten Price an! Verdammt noch mal mit euch allen!” 1("You all behave like little damn children! That makes me kill myself!) 2(Just listen to the damn price! Damn it with all of you)

“English Y/n.” Ghost says looking over at you. “English, we don’t understand you when you’re like this.”

“Fucking German! Jesus!” You yell shaking head and holding the file tightly. “Ich wollte euch nie in meinem Leben so sehr verletzen.” (I never wanted to hurt you so much in my life.)

“..Y/n are you okay?” Soap asks you reaching for your hand which you immediately move away. “Y/n!”

“No! Just! No!” You yell finally and storm out the briefing room.

“..Damn what her so triggered.” Gaz says looking at the others. “..She’s fucking terrifying..”

“She was speaking German wasn’t she?” Soap asks looking over at the others. “She was?”

“Someone or something push her into madness today.” Price says going to the door. “All of you stay here I’ll go check on her.”

The men nod as Price goes off to find you. He finds you mumbling and cleaning the room you share with them. Price slightly concerned about this whole new behavior walks over only to get a belt aim at him.

“Woah! Easy y/n.” Price says putting his hands up. “Easy.”

“..Geh weg, ich will dich nicht in meiner Nähe haben oder irgendjemand in meiner Nähe..” You mumble moving the belt away and setting it on his bed. (Go away, I don't want you near me or anyone near me)

“Y/n.. are you okay?” Price asks hearing footsteps down the hall. The others didn’t listen to him once more. “You can talk to m—“

“Can you just go away!?” You yell shaking your head. “God damn it! If someone is angry don’t go after them!!”

“Sargent Y/n!” Price yells making your body freeze. “Listen!”

The others are by the door now. Watching the whole mess display in front of them. Soap and Gaz are really concerned hoping the whole yelling doesn’t lead to anything else. Meanwhile Ghost.. his enjoyment has been found for today. Seeing you argue with Price.

“Look! I need to cool off and none of you are helping!” You yell sitting down on your bed. “I’ll go back when I’m d—“

“Why are you mad.” Price asks sitting on his bed now. “Tell me, talk to me.”

“..Can I just be alone?” You say again annoying him. “Please Captain.”

Gaz and Soap watch as your anger slowly dies. Ghost leans against the doorframe watching you and Price. Almost as if he was watching someone get therapy. Soap and Gaz will try to get into the room but Ghost body will block them from stepping in.

“Talk to me or else I’ll get you Laswell.” Prive says making you quickly sit up.

“God no, she always turns it into a therapy session..” You mumble rubbing your hands together. “I just been having a bad day.. and you guys weren’t helping by being annoying..”

“How is your day bad?” Price says looking at you, his eyes maintained on yours. “Y/n..?”

“My family.. kicked me out the Christmas party and.. some dumb rookie is making it impossible to teach them anything.” You pause for a moment and take a deep breath. “They claim that maybe someone else.. should teach them since I’m too soft on them.”

“Are you?” Gaz says making you slightly angry again.

“No! God damn it!” You day getting up from the bed. “I’m not!”

“Okay y/n no sit down.” Price says grabbing your arm. “Ignore them, they don’t exist.”

“Harsh..” Soap says leaning on Ghost. “Real harsh Captain..”

You sit back down and stare at Price. Soon, you calm down and explain to him everything. The family mess, rookie mess and your whole process of how to stop being mad.

Later in the future they will give you time to cool off. Still terrified on why you’d tart cleaning when your mad. Soap makes a couple jokes saying you should be more mad so the place is clean 24/7. Ghost smacks him every time he does that “joke”

Valeria “El sin nombre” Garza & Alejandro Vargas

Your watching them argue, like always. Valeria decided to join Alejandro again and fight for good. Yet arguments seem so common between them if they cross paths. This time it was about handling food for others, Alejandro believe hot stew would serve everyone well for the winter, yet Valeria thought it was stupid.

“Now that’s just stupid Alejandro.” Valeria says looking at the planned week. “They can’t have strew each night.”

“Stew is amazing!” Alejandro says looking over at her. “Right Rodolfo?”

“Im staying out of this.” Rodolfo quickly responds next to you. “Think you can handle this?”

“..Yeah just go home..” You mumble shaking your head at their stupid argument.

Rodolfo nods and leaves you with them. Their argument starting to get physical. Valeria grabs a plate and throws at it Alejandro, it almost hits you.

“Was zum Teufel! Hör einfach auf, über dummen Scheiß zu streiten! Verdammt, ihr benehmt euch beide wie kleine Kinder!!” You yell making both of them freeze and stare at you. “Das ist es! Fick dich und dich! Ihr zwei seid nur Kinder!” 1(What the hell! Just stop arguing about stupid shit! Damn, you both behave like little children!!) 2(That's it! Fuck you and you! You two are just children!)

“What?” Alejandro says slightly terrified. “Y/n, ether speak English or Spanish.”

“Fuck your English and Spanish!” You hiss at him and grab the paper they been looking over at. “Fuck this paper! Now get your lives in shape! You both agreed to do shit right and mend stuff between each other!”

“I can’t when this idiot wants to serve strew for a whole week!” Valeria says with a small laugh. “Who even wants that!”

“Don’t you dare disrespect my stew!” Alejandro yells at Valeria. “You crazy woman!”

“genügend! Egal, versöhne dich oder halt die Klappe mit dem Essen, und ich kümmere mich darum!” You yell making both of them jump and stare at you. “..Assholes! Now clean the broken shit! Now!” (Enough! Anyway, reconcile or shut up with the food, and I'll take care of it!)

“Your not my boss.” Valeria hisses at you with a cold stare.

“Oh I’m not?” You say taking your shoe off. “I’m not?! Get your ass over here!!”

The argument will end quickly and Alejandro will have to stop you from hurting Valeria. They will clean the broken glass and plates. Yet be slightly scared of you, but glad that you didn’t have a gun at hand.

They also stop getting into arguments when your around. They don’t like seeing you angry, mostly because they don’t know what your saying to them.

Rodolfo will find it funny that they behave around you now. I mean who wouldn’t?

[gralto]

Interviewer: „Und ich glaube auch, dass euer Drummer richtig stolz darauf ist, wie er so rüberkommt, oder?“

Stille

Interviewer: „Na, er trägt auf jedem Foto ne ziemlich schwere Frau …“ Gelächter „… so leicht, als wäre sie ne Feder …“ mehr Gelächter „… und hat wahnsinnig viele Muskeln, oder?“

Paul: „Ja, Schneider ist ein ganz Starker. Muss er ja, weil er Schlagzeug spielt. Wir können ja so gemütlich auf der Bühne rumstehen und der muss jedes Mal ganz doll raufschlagen als ob es das letzte Mal ist.“

*****************

Interviewer: “And I also believe that your drummer is really proud of how he comes across, right?”

Silence

Interviewer: ”Well, in every photo he carries a fairly heavy woman … “ laughter “… as easy as if she was a feather …” more Laughter “… and has an incredible amount of muscles, right?”

Paul: “Yes, Schneider is very strong. He has to because he plays drums. We can stand around on stage and chill and he always has to hit the drums so hard as if it is the last time.”

[bibastibootz]

Hello! First of all, I love your blog so much, you give off such warm, positive vibes :)

I wanted to ask if you would explain your head canons regarding Basti and Thorsten's sexualities a bit more? I've seen you refer to them as gay/bi respectively quite often and I would love to hear your reasonings and explanations behind that. (Not at all because I disagree, I'm just obsessed with the two of them and I think you'll have some very interesting takes on the topc!)

If you don't want to just ignore me :)

Hi! and thank you for this lovely ask, it put a really big smile on my face!! you're so kind! 😌 and OOHHHH do I have headcanons about Thorsten’s and Sebastian’s sexuality, I hope you’re ready!! 🔥 (I prefer making lists rather than writing articles, so I hope this still reads well enough)

schwuler Thorsten <3 It would be so easy to say that Thorsten is straight because he had a wife and a daughter back in Hamburg, but people who claim that aren't watching the show right. Here's why I think that a reading of him as a gay man is so so so so valid:

Susanne and Lilli: There are many ways to fit his late wife and daughter into this headcanon, so take your pick: He genuinely didn't know he was gay and started a family. He was in denial and started a family anyway. He was well aware of his homosexuality and maybe this was a mutual arrangement between him and Susanne. It was purely superficial.

(lack of) interest in women: Once Thorsten is in Stuttgart, he literally never shows any interest in any woman whatsoever (much to the dismay of his neighbour) and I do not remember him flirting with any woman ever. Also when asked about women, he literally answers, "Keine Ahnung, ich bin da kein Spezialist." A fortuneteller read his hand once and said: "Sie sind ein lebenslang Suchender. Besonders Frauen sind Ihnen ein ewiges Rätsel." and Thorsten replies, "Jetzt wird es vielleicht doch etwas zu persönlich." Hm. . . So Thorsten is sb who still hasn't found himself? And women are a mystery to him? Hm, gay. Also: Another relationship with a woman, much less so marriage, is so far off his radar that he proposed to Sebastian to start a "Alters WG".

often presumed gay: It is almost a running gag that people assume Thorsten is gay (except that the possibility of a gay Thorsten should not be the punchline). Julian Siebert in "Grabenkämpfe" assumes that Thorsten is gay. His boss while undercover in "Freigang" assumes that he's gay: "Bist du schwul oder warum sind hier keine Weiber?" Thorsten replies, "Schwul.", which the boss plays off as a joke.

casual, yet serious about queerness and other queer people: This is particularly striking in comparison to Sebastian because Thorsten seems so #woke about everything. He understands subtle and not so subtle nods and hints from other queer people but does not make a fuss about them and immediately recognizes queerness (as opposed to Sebastian): Once again "Grabenkämpfe," where Thorsten never jokes about Julian Siebert's obvious interest in him. Also in "Hart an der Grenze" Basti treats them playing a gay couple as a fun joke while Thorsten is very much not amused - and there is just sth in the way he treats the topic so seriously that makes it seem as if it real to him. In "Anne und der Tod" they interrogate clients and stand in front of an old man who has pictures of him and another man on his shelf and wall, and while Sebastian very innocently asks whether that's his brother or son, Thorsten's behavior suggests that he caught on instantly that the old man is in fact gay and that those are photos of him and his late partner.

actively against homophobia: When an old man makes a homophobic remark at him and Sebastian, he immediately grabs Sebastians hand to make that man uncomfortable and as a big fuck you and a way of saying, "Yeah people are queer, get over it, old man!!"

never denying, never clarifying: As much as men flirt with him or people assume he's gay, Thorsten never denies it and never clarifies that he is, in fact, heterosexual. Never! Best example is (once again) "Grabenkämpfe" when his neighbour spots Thorsten at a gay bar with another man and says that at least now she knows why he didn't have time for her - and Thorsten does not get defensive and screams sth like, "I'm not gay, I'm here for a case!", he just lets it slide. And remember when the Freigang boss derogatorily asked Thorsten whether he's gay but then later it seems that Thorsten had sex with a woman, to which the boss replies "Na egal, bin ja froh, dass du nicht schwul bist."? Thorsten once again does not outright say, "Genau, bin ich nicht." but instead replies, "Ich weiß." and looks sad and angry at this blatant portrayal of homophobia.

love confession: In "Die Nacht der Kommissare" Thorsten confesses his love to Sebastian while on drugs with a loud and clear "Sebastian? Ich liebe dich." He continues to confess his love to other men in that episode, but this "Ich liebe dich" feels very different, very sincere and from the heart. I like to read this scene as both a platonic and a romantic love confession.

There is probably so much more, but this is just from the top of my head. Moving on!

bi Basti <3 Sebastian is bi because it Just. Makes. Sense.!!!!!

the rise and fall of the Bootz family: I need to start with Julia and the kids because Sebastian is introduced as a happy, young family man who has basically achieved everything, both in his private life and career. His life as a husband and father is basically too perfect when we meet him, and of course it does crumble more and more into pieces with every new episode. We soon see tension in his and Julia's marriage, ultimately leading to their divorce and Sebastian's never-talked-about problem with alcohol and his separation anxiety. I encourage everyone to watch all the eps until "Spiel auf Zeit" as if Sebastian is falling out of love with Julia and in love with Thorsten (. . .is it possible to love two people at once? Good question, Sebastian).

Felix Klare supremacy: Even Felix Klare himself thought that Tatort was lacking diversity in terms of presentation of women and gay people back in 2013 and he advocated for becoming the first gay Tatort duo. Aber Richy wollte nicht. Tja.

bi in another universe: In "Tödliche Tarnung" we learn that Sebastian and Julia were once close to breaking up and Basti wonders how different his life could have been: "Julia, hast du dir schon mal überlegt, wie unser Leben verlaufen wäre, wenn, naja, wenn wir uns damals getrennt hätten?" Cue "Scherbenhaufen": When he is about to go undercover, he has to come up with a backstory for his character. And what does he do? Completely remove a wife and kids out of the picture and then says, "Ehrlich gesagt, ich hab sie dann mit meinem besten Freund betrogen." Kinda bi to make up a scenario in which he gets to be with Thorsten instead of Julia, if you ask me. And he looks so happy about it, too.

weird about queerness: Sebastian has always been weird about political correctness, and to me this reads as a defense mechanism, as a way to distance himself from queerness and treat it as sth "not concerning me". And yes, I do headcanon Basti as having serious internalized homophobia, why do you ask? I have yet to form proper thoughts about Basti's uncharacteristic compassion towards the gay man who has just lost his lover in "Vergebung", it feels so personally affected. What we can nevertheless witness, though, is some personal growth in that Sebastian is more comfortable with and knowledgable about queerness.

heteronormative worldview / hetcomp: Sebastian literally doesn't know that bisexuality exists. When he hears of married men (yes, there have been three such storylines. . . THREE!!!!) who had a secret lover on the side, he always assumes they were gay and never once considers bisexuality. Looping back to the Bootz marriage&divorce as well as the countless "secretly gay married men" trope, Basti is literally describing his life in "Vergebung" without acknowledging the parallels.

flirting with Thorsten: Of course, any straight man can flirt with his friends, but the way Sebastian does it is so "haha just joking!!! . . . unless 👀"-coded. First the pretend gay couple at the adoption agency, then another pretend gay couple in the waiting room, then the queer undercover persona plot twist. And look how flustered he gets when he gets flirted with.

honorable mentions: bi lighting, bi sitting, bi bi bi music.

Again, there is most definitely more and everyone is free to add on to my thoughts! 😌✌️

bonus: Are Thorsten and Sebastian in love? 👀 Yes, and as of February 2024 there are 32 episodes to prove it. Thank you for reading! 🫶

[ringsy-flamingsy]

Wenn Lars sich seine (verdiente und wohl für seine Gesundheit dringend nötige) Auszeit nimmt, dann wünsche ich mir, dass die Kürbisköppe gemeinsam weggehen. Ob sie mit Rucksack durch die Weltgeschichte tingeln oder ein Luxushotel nach dem anderen bereisen oder Ringo zum Arbeiten temporär ins Ausland geht und sich seinen Mann ins Handgepäck packt, ist mir völlig egal. Von mir aus darf es zuvor auch gern spannend bis dramatisch werden, wie damals, als Ringo literarisch vor seinen Gefühlen - und vor Easy - abhauen wollte und schon mit einem Fuß im Zug stand, als Easy ihn nur nach einem Spurt quer über den Bahnsteig einholen und aufhalten konnte. Nur, dass sie dieses Mal dann halt zusammen in den Zug einsteigen würden.

Aber nichts würde ich weniger sehen wollen als einen Ringo, der sich monatelang allein durch halbgare Storylines schleppt, in denen er eh nur marginal vorkommt. Wobei, doch - eine vorhergehende Fremdgehstory, die in einer Trennung und Easys Weggang auf unbestimmte Zeit endet. Die bräuchte ich noch weniger.

In diesem Sinne: Prayer circle für Gnade seitens der Autoren. Ihre phasenweise nur halbherzig überspielte Abneigung gegenüber dem Fandom haben sie mittlerweile ja hoffentlich abgelegt.

[miimo96]

Thoughts on TBHK Chapter 116

Well it looks like once again nobody reminded Me that a New chapter was out, First Things 1st I absolutely ADORE this Cover Card and judging from it, it looks like we may be focusing on yashiro again but considering how last Chapter's was misleading, I'm willing to bet otherwise and that we may be actually picking up from where we left off with baby Tsukasa and if This is really him, or just the Entity wearing his face; Other than that the Colors for this Cover are really Beautiful and I really love the font style they choose for this 1, even tho I still perfer the other one we got last chapter, man Summer's edition Really is looking like to be the Best ^^

Ah already with the creepynes I see, alrighty then I mean I guess Aside from this Gorgeous piece of artwork, I gotta have this thing Stare at me now huh, didnt expect Nightmare fuel to be on my To do list today, and in the beginning of chapter no less, Ok Wow aidairo Thanks looks like I'm not getting any sleep tonight ^^; Also is it jsut me or is it that everytime we get a Chapter for these 3, Something ALWAYS goes wrong, and ends Tragically in some way, because If that's the case then I'm really scared now, because i don't want anything Bad to happen, *sigh* I just hope aidairo goes easy on us and does nothing Too Major 🤞

Alright Ngl Kou came in clutch just now, 1st off mitsuba Why the hell would you even try listening to that thing, I mean you Literally just Saw that it isn't human, due the gapping HOLE it had in its face, plus didn't kou literally just explained to you that most Supernaturals are Dangerous, so why would the hell you even bother🤦‍♂️ Also is it me or is anyone elese getting odd vibes of Nanika from HXH from this Thing, because the fact that you literally have to obey his commands in oder to receive something in return is heavily reminding me of Nanikas powers from Hunter x Hunter

So If you weren't convicted before that this isn't Tsukasa but is just a lifeless husk, then you're sure as heck are Now because the fact that thing literally talked like how it did in the Red house arc, all but confirmed it for me, because evertime I see that style of text bubbles in the series, I Know for a fact that it's from that THING in someway, Also the fact that kou Literally just punched a child with No hesitation is hilarious to me🤣🤣🤣

Question: what is wrong with aidairo? Like I really feel like they wake up in the morning and go "*sigh*...... So How we gonna torment our readers today? ^^" Also it may just be me overthinking but the way he touched Kou's hand kinda reminded me of what happened with Aoi and her hand after being in the far shore, which makes me even more curious about this Entity...

Oh Well Nvm i guess, it looks like I was absolutely right about it being similar to Aoi's situation Lol, also I really Love how kou is completely nonchalant about this whole situation and is just unphased by his hand completely turning, i mean the way he just assesses everything and describes the situation really just shows how much experience he has in this timeline, I gotta say I love it ^^

Wait so that's what happened to the girls who summoned him? I just thought he made them disappear or turned them into sacrifices for the Entity, you're telling me He did That to them!? Oh nah this thing is Sick

It's just Hilarious to know that no matter what timeline they're in, Mitsuba will always hate Kou's earing 🤣🤣

Till this day Kou Still continues to prove to me why he is the Best character, like the dude was literally willing to be a Decoy in order for mitsuba to escape, While he lures away Tsukasa, like this probably the 2nd time I've said this but I Really love his character, especially when he does stuff like this, also I find it really strange that Tsukasa called out Hanako's name, even tho this isn't Tsukasa, but just a lifeless husk, So I'm really interested to know what direction they're talking with this, Because if this IS Tsukasa, then would that mean he still has some control, and isn't just a Puppet like before? hmmmmm 🤔(pending thoughts)

I really find it interesting that we get some information regarding yorishiro's, because up until this point, we've only just been given the understanding that they represent the item that the spirits cherish, and that by creating or destroying 1, you're able to lose control over the boundary that you inhabit, So seeing the actual process behind what goes into making or Qualifies as 1, is just Really interesting to me

Oh, well that's terrifying

Man I feel so bad for Mitsuba , like he's literally the only character that has probably gone through the most shit In this series and it's SO painful to me because C'mon cut the dude a break already, like it's already Bad enough that in the original timeline he was already dead, then he was turned into a doppelganger of himself, then he was dealing with his own issues regarding his identity crisis, and then he wanted his best friend/ boyfriend to kill him, So in the new timeline I was hoping that maybe he could finally get cut some slack, and maybe just maybe Not go through some shit, but alas, I guess not, Sry mitsuba, but maybe 1 day you'll have your chance to Shine tho😅😅

Awesome mitsuba finally get a Dub for once, even more Awesome the Students were able turn back to normal, should be a win right? So then why do I get the feeling something bad happened? Because that was Wayy too easy 😥

Omg please Don't tell me something Bad happened to Kou, Omg aidairo please Don't I'm begiging you, Kou is literally the Best character Please Don't this, No no no no 😰😰😰😰

NOOOO!!! 😭😭😭😭 Aidairo Why must you do this to Me!!! Damn it 1st JJK now this WHY!! actually Wait a minute, so if it can just move 1 body to a New one, then what does mean for Tsukasa, did he really just go back to normal, or is he just a lifeless husk lying in the hallway right now

1st off this looks Straight up Terrifying, Second of all PLEASE STOP THIS Aidairo I'm begiging you PLEASE, it looks like mitsuba is going to have to resort to Killing him if this continues, So begging you Lord please somebody Stop Him, I don't wanna see this character Die Please!!! Anybody

YES!!! I mean As much as I Hate this character I'm So happy that he's here right Now, THANK YOU GOD!!

This just made him go up a scale as 1 of my favorite characters Now thank you lord for sending us Teru because idk if was gonna be able to continue reading after this, That scene was Just Wow, I was literally scared for a second there, Omg Please Stop playing with my emotions Aidairo sensei please, I don't think I can take much more of this

Ok So it looks like I was Right about this being Not the same Tsukasa, because like i said before judging from the way he was talking, it really reminded me of the way it was in the red house, Especially from the way it was talking, Also could you please Stop beating on Kou for 1 second mitsuba, like i get that you love him and all and that were probably worried about having to Kill him, but for crying out loud the guy just got Shot by lightning for christ sake, so you could at least go easy on him, Second of all wait you're telling me that this Thing isn't even Dead after that and was just only weakened, Jesus how many more Chapters Do I gotta suffer with that Thing Before that THING is FINALLY Dead, Also i guess that pretty much Answers what I've been saying this entire time, That No matter what Timeline you make or whatever Strings you pull, it's pretty much inevitable that Tsukasa or eventually somebody will be the host for that thing, and judging from the way this chapter ended, it Looks like we might be in for something BIG Next chapter, especially now with that Thing on the Loose, idk whats about to happen, but I can guarantee you that I will be here to cover it, man this is really starting to feel like the final arc, and gotta say If it is I'm Not ready, but if this Truly is the end, then It's been sure 1 hell of a ride

[christiannbg]

Bin ich niedlich oder nicht?

[wildlifegermany]

Die Rosenprimel oder Sumpf-Primel ist eine der bezauberndsten Primeln. Die Blüte ist rosa, rosenrot oder tiefrot und der Blütenstiel is schon entwickelt ehe die Blätter erscheinen.  Die Kultur is einfach, wenn ihr die nötige Feuchtigkeit gegeben wird.  The rose primrose or marsh primrose is one of the most enchanting primroses. The flower is pink, rose-red or deep red and the flower stalk is already developed before the leaves appear. Cultivation is easy if the necessary moisture is provided.

[chevvy-yates]

CLUB OWNER

The owner of ‘HELL BUNKER’ wears the name ‘Garnet’. A simple man, born as Falco Ritter in Cologne, Germany.

Coming from a middle class worker family, he migrated over to the NUSA to fulfill himself a dream of becoming an artist and of owning a place of his own to show his passion to the world: Techno(ise). Garnet’s lifeblood is not only his bunker and mixing music as a DJ himself, but also his event Chrome Chamber Rave and the radio station ‘HELL BUNKER.FM’ that provides the newest tech hits as well as an online and print techno(ise) magazine named “160+ BPM” that he releases every month. Garnet is an artist and self-starter through and through! Falco has earned quite a high cred and respect in the Night City raver business as his location with mainly CCR is unique compared to other techno(ise) clubs in the city. His vision was not only to bring European, especially German, techno(ise)¹ back to the NUSA, but also to combine it with other artforms and the desire of primal energy that lies deeply rooted within us. He used to be dj-ing at Totentanz years ago which gave him a lot of inspiration for creating HELL BUNKER afterwards. Today, being a quite known underground Techno(ise) DJ within the scene and his bunker, Garnet is still down to earth as a musician and business owner who loves to collaborate with other artists to create art that moves you cerebral and visceral altogether. He also does not shy away from acting as a bouncer for his own club. So if you may have asked yourself why he’s decorating himself with Gorilla arms: It’s for throwing out those who don’t behave appropriately. Falco doesn’t make any excuses.

SET LIST

Garnet's common set list for Chrome Chamber Rave, a fictional hard technoise event in the world of Cyberpunk 2077. He still deejays at CCR. His setlist is of course all hard techno(ise) yet he concentrates to mix it with more emotions and a touch of industrial, even some lyrics and tends to venture further than that. Each song is unique to itself and can be a true experience if you are willing to let yourself soaked in and let it touch your soul.

“Technoise may not be able to save the world, but it will save your soul.”

— Falco ‘Garnet’ Ritter

—

Cover artwork by me. Steal and you will be doomed. I‘ve chosen tracks only by one artist named ‘Roman Gehrecke’. This artist is the closest to what I imagine Garnet would produce as well. So I decided to borrow the music for Falco. Of course all the music belongs to Roman Gehrecke! There's one song at the end of it I see as the one that is always played at last so the audience knows ok after that it's done. This song is also not by the artist mentioned above but has a well known melody majority knows.

Recommendation: ‚Gefallene Engel‘, ‚Anderswelt‘, ‚Stimmen der Tiefe‘ and ‚Schutt und Asche‘ – best listened to via headphones and making time for it should you want to try to get soaked into.

———

¹ "Technoise and its various derivations dominate much of the German scene. If you're hip, you already know about Technoise. If not, listen up. Technoise is quite popular with the discerning young punk; it was popularized by Germany's own NetWerk actually, you've got your Overlay style from London, Jazznetic from Rotterdam and Echo from Frankfurt. In addition, there are people producing Frock (Fractal Rock) all over the place. The good thing is, Technoise is quite easy to produce. You only need a small computer, some software and you're ready to buzz. Those of you with a message might miss the political attitude, but you're missing the point. Technoise is strictly for partying, tripping and dancing. People meet and dance up to the runner's point. Maybe that's a political statement in itself, oder?" — Eurosource Plus – The New Eurotheater Sourcebook for Cyberpunk

[nanshe-of-nina]

Favorite History Books || The Northern Crusades by Eric Christansen ★★★★☆

The crusades to the Holy Land are well known, or, at least, widely heard of. The crusades against the Albigensian heretics, and against the Muslims of Spain, are familiar to students of medieval history. But the crusades of North-East Europe remain outside the scope of most English readers, and are remembered, if at all, as the subject of Eisenstein’s haunting essay in nationalist propaganda, the film Alexander Nevsky. He is said to have chosen the subject because so little was known about it that the facts were unlikely to interfere with his fictions. This book is an attempt to describe the struggles waged round the Baltic from the twelfth to the sixteenth centuries in the name of Christianity, and to explain the part they played in the transformation of Northern societies which took place at the same time. There is no room for more. The general history of the Baltic world will only be referred to in so far as it directly concerns the crusades, and the reader will have to look elsewhere for a proper account of the rise and fall of the Scandinavian kingdoms, the East European principalities, the Hanseatic League, the fish trade, the German colonization of the East, the development of cities, churches and shipping. … Telling this story means keeping at least three balls in the air at the same time: a narrative of campaigns; a survey of ideological developments; and a sketch of political history. The crusades can be understood only in the light of, for example, the Cistercian movement, the rise of the papal monarchy, the mission of the friars, the coming of the Mongol hordes, the growth of the Lithuanian and Muscovite empires, and the aims of the Conciliar movement in the fifteenth century. Dealing briefly with all these big subjects, and linking them to the far north of Europe, has not been easy; and an English reader may well ask, is it worthwhile? There are several reasons for answering yes. In the first place, the Northern crusades were a part of a wider Western drive, and if that is to be studied it should be studied in full – in the most unlikely places, and in the most peculiar forms. The Holy Wars of the Mediterranean brought about spectacular conquests, and enduring obsessions, but amounted in the end to a sad waste of time, money and life. After 200 years of fighting, colonization, empire-building, missionary work and economic development, the Holy Places remained lost to Christendom. The Saracens won. The two faiths remained invincibly opposed, and if the cultures mingled it was not because the Christians had attempted to conquer the Near East; there were more enduring and less explosive points of contact. The Northern crusades were less spectacular, and much less expensive, but the changes they helped to bring about lasted for much longer, and have not altogether disappeared today. The southern coast of the Baltic is still German, as far as the Oder; and it is not sixty years since the Estonians and Balts lost the last traces of their German ascendancy and fell under a new one. Western forms of Christianity survive in all the coastlands opposite Scandinavia, and the Finns remain wedded to Western institutions and tolerant of their Swedish-speaking minority. The reborn republics of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania look west for support and sympathy. For seven centuries these east-Baltic countries were colonial societies, bearing the mark left by their medieval conquerors whatever outside power tried to annex or change them. If ever the crusades had any lasting effect, it was here, and in Spain.