#oc: zimmer

[sleepyfan-blog]

Injuries and Boundaries

Author's note: this is the next fic in Cedric's adventures in the husbandry AU! Thanks to @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan for letting me borrow Hura! first. previous. next

tagged:  @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @i-am-a-dragon34

warnings: corporal punishment, wound treatment, blood

Summary: More injured Black Templars show up at the clinic causing trouble. Cedric's asked to help wrangle and treat them.

"Cedric... We've got more feral injured Black Templars who refused to be treated by anyone but another Son of Dorn. Do you mind taking them? Normally we'd have them wait, but all five of them are actively bleeding, and their sergeant is really twitchy." Misty, one of the human aides who worked in the Astartes-run medical clinic that Cedric worked in asked. "We've managed to herd them into one of the larger exam rooms, but they're still very tightly wound up. "

Cedric heaved a sigh, shaking his head a little. This was the second group of badly injured Black Templars who've shown up in the clinic within a month. This did not bode well, especially as it seems as though multiple Black Templar warbands seem to be gathering near or in this city for... Throne knew what reason. "I'll tend to them. Just let me finish my lunch real quick. It shouldn't take more than a minute or two."

"Thank you, Cedric." The medical assistant answered, sagging gratefully in relief before leaving. 

The young apothecary glanced around the room, double checking that no one else was around before vox-calling Ramiel "There are more injured Feral Black Templars in the clinic. Please warn our older Bruders and encourage our fellow Primaris marines to keep away from the base until this city is clear."

"... Sure, but what about you, Cedric? You should either hunker down with one of our older brothers, or ask Apothecary Hura if he has a mission out of the city that he'd like you to complete as a favor or something." Ramiel responded, a frown on his face "I'm still on the chaplains' retreat, but I know that you're not safe right now. You're going to get yourself to safety, right?"

"I'll be careful, and if I can't be careful, I will be smart, You don't need to worry, Rami. I'll be fine. Remember, we figured out that I survived the longest Back There, of the five of us. I didn't even get killed to be sent back to Ancient Terra." Which was a damn sight better than his fellow Primaris marines. "But I've got antsy patients to deal with. Be sure to message bruders Roland and Arnault they need to know, if they don't know already." He suspected that Roland and Arnault were exiled from many of the Black Templar Crusades because of them embracing their bonds with their mortals... And despite the fact that the bonds were warp-creations, those bonds and their humans made them so happy, brought out the best in both of them. Why shun them for it? It made no sense to Cedric.

"I will... but I will also tell them that you're treating feral templars who might hurt you if they take a notion! So they will make sure that you are safe too!" Ramiel growled out, and he could hear the stubborn glare on the other's face.

"Honestly, I am fairly safe within the clinic. I am one shout away from dozens of well-trained first-born cousins who won't hesitate to sedate and restrain a rampaging Cousin." Cedric sighed before ending the vox-call with Ramiel. He really hoped that the stubborn Justicar didn't rile up their older brothers. Roland and Arnault could get very protective when the mood struck. 

Cedric knocked on the closed door to the exam room that the older Black Templars had been brought into, waiting for a moment before entering the room, closing the door behind himself as he took in the sight before him. 

Three of the firstborn Black Templars were pacing around the examination room in a standard patrol cycle, while the other two were sitting on the exam room table, leaning into each other with their eyes closed, breathing shallowly.

Cedric could smell the coppery tang of blood in the air, saw the tense, tight ways that these older brothers were holding themselves and knew that each of them was in a tremendous amount of pain. He asked "Would any of you like something for the pain you are in? I will need to treat your wounds, which is going to hurt more. I have both spray-on pain reducers which may be applied to the wounds you have directly, depending on what kind of wounds you have, injectable pain killers, or a pill to take orally. Do you have preferences, if any?"

The five firstborn templars stopped what they were doing and looked him over silently for several long, and awkward feeling eternities (which was probably closer to a minute, perhaps two, but it felt as if they dragged their silent appraisal of him for so very long). The Sergeant stepped forward and slightly to the right, blocking Cedric's view of the two sitting on the medical table. "I am Sergeant Alois Zimmer of the Sprechembriech Crusade. Identify yourself, Apothecary." His well-muscled arms were crossed defensively over his chest. He had a large blade sheathed on his left hip, a bolter on the right. 

"I am Cedric, an Apothecary of the Black Templars." The Primaris marine stated. Technically he was also supposed to identify that he was both an apprentice and a Primaris Marine during this formal declaration but these firstborn brothers were wound very tightly. He didn't recognize these older brothers, and there was a high likelihood that they would have no idea what a Primaris was. They would, however, recognize that he was an apprentice and might start asking all sorts of obnoxious questions, which would delay their treatments and getting out of Cedric's hair before Arnault showed up, blade in hand and glaring at everyone who moved because Ramiel had wound up the Emperor's Champion. Again.

"Which Crusade are you part of?" Zimmer asked, looking him over closely "And where is your armor? Also... We aren't soft enough to need pain meds. Start patching up the two on the table."

"Came to Ancient Terra without any, as I was brought here in my sleeping clothes. I'm not part of an established Crusade. I haven't been on Ancient Terra long enough." Cedric answered, grabbing a wound repair kit from the cabinet and slowly approaching the two injured brothers on the exam table, not wanting to startle anyone. He opened the kit. It was unlikely that he was going to be part of one of the roving warbands of feral Black Templars. He liked having regular contact with his fellow Primaris Marines, and he sincerely doubted that he would be allowed to interact with two probable-outcasts. Even if one of them is an Emperor's Champion. "I got found by an Ultramarine and brought to the nearby Imperial Fist base and have been in this city ever since."

"That is some Lamenters level luck there, Brother." One of the other firstborn brothers calls out, before dodging the sergeant's reprimanding swat from Zimmer. 

Cedric very carefully did not react as he pulled up one of the older Black Templar's shirts, revealing that his back was a mess of bleeding flogging markings, and the characteristic bruising and claw-marks of a mark 9 power fist.

"Quiet, Illus. No need to wind up the lad." Zimmer looked at him steadily for a couple of seconds before asking "From the look on your face, I am guessing you know the kinds of wounds all of us are suffering from. It was not our Chaplain who inflicted these wounds, and our Crusade Leader ordered us to get treatment. Are you willing to patch us up, or should we wait for the Fist Apothecary they've summoned from the base?"

"I'll treat your wounds. I do have a question, though. If this wasn't ordered by your chaplain, nor the leader of your crusade, how did you come by these wounds?" Cedric asked, biting back panic and nausea, his hands rock-steady as he treated their wounds one at a time, and step by step. Check, clean, bandage. Rinse and repeat, until every injury on each of the five marines was properly treated to.

"Miles here ran afoul of a different Crusade's chaplain when he swiped one of the little sweet treats that the bastard had a whole bag of. He was about to eat it when the chaplain appeared out of fucking nowhere and started screaming his bloody head off. Miles gave back the treat and tried to apologize, but Petras wasn't having any of it and started beating the shite out of him. Jamison and Illus tried to step in and got beat for their trouble. Neval voxxed me before distracting the furious fucker to keep the others from beaten until they couldn't move. By Him on Terra I've never seen a chaplain that furious before that fast. Ever."

Cedric couldn't help the full-body flinch that Petras in a temper provoked from him as an automatic reaction. Nor the momentary cringe as his body wanted to curl around itself defensively. He shook off the response and continued treating the injured. "He is... Very possessive of his food and gets highly aggressive, from what I remember of him. Especially of fast carbs like sugary sweets. That was before we were both brought to Ancient and Holy Terra... not that I think he is aware I am here."

"Ah. So you're from the same time period he is? If I had Brothers from the same time here on Ancient Terra, I'd seek them out. No offense to you lads, but it'd be nice to have Brothers like that with me, as a grounding force." Illus piped up, his eyes wide.

"Chaplain Petras is... Not someone whom I would call grounding or reassuring." Cedric's mouth said before he could stop himself. "Besides there's a good chance the he'd-" Nope, shutting that line of thought down right now. "Let's just say that he and I don't get along very well."

"Given that he's a heavy hand with punishment and your entire life's purpose is to keep us patched up and in fighting shape, I can imagine." The sergeant sighed, shaking his head a little. 

"That's not the primary reason we don't get along, although that's part of it. Do you have any neophytes or aspirants in your warband?" Cedric asked, trying to project a sense of calm that he did not at all feel.

Hura and Zariel had talked with him, and near him about patterns of behavior in certain kinds of older brothers and cousins. And how these behaviors, for good or ill, could, and often did, spill over to how they reacted on Ancient Terra. Just because Petras favored killing- or nearly killing Primaris Marines that are between Neophyte to Battle Brother age, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t go after First Borns of the same age range. Or- so that thought suddenly seized Cedric with a cold, terrifying clarity.’Is that what they had been hinting at?’

"... Why are you asking that? We're looking for a couple of Apprentice-aged Black Templars, as a matter of fact. From what we've heard, they're being held hostage somewhere. Probably in one of the chaos bases, those foul bastards. We do have a couple, why do you ask?" Illus asked, eyes narrowing a little.

"Because he killed a dozen of Apprentices who were not found in need of culling due to disobedience, chaos-taint or xenos-worship. But merely because he was in a foul mood and they happened to be in his furious path." Cedric warned him "Do not allow him access to your youngest members without supervision with the ability and will to intervene on their behalf."

"That... That's... That's a hell of a thing to accuse any brother of, much less a chaplain, boy. Do you have proof?" Alois spluttered, staggering back a half step, his dark eyes widening in horror.

"... Four of the apprentices he beat to death in the 41st millennium ended up on Holy Terra, mostly dead. I was able to respond in time and get them to treatment for two of them so that they survived the experience. The other two died in my arms. Again. I brought them to the base so that their bodies could be properly processed and their geneseed and intact organs stored, for later use." Cedric answered, fighting back the tears and the bitter taste of failure in his mouth. "Between the three of us, we have enough physical scars left from his heavy-handed punishments to get him censured at least, should we come forward. If he were to be prosecuted."

"What do you mean, if? What, do you think because his alleged crimes were committed Before, that he wouldn't be punished for it? Or because he technically was punished by it - leading to him being sent to Ancient and Holy Terra - he wouldn't be punished here? And how do I know that he wasn't culling unworthy-" The Sergeant started to speak.

"So you and the five brothers you brought into this clinic to be treated fully deserved the punishment that Chaplain Petras handed to you, did you?" Cedric asked. "In the 41st millennium, it is standard post-punishment procedure for those with the injuries to tend to their own wounds, without medical aid or intervention. To heal on their own, or fester if they are deemed unworthy in the eyes of the Emperor Himself to heal properly. So which is it, sergeant? Are you seeking treatment for wounds you received after being justly punished and thus are seeking to undo it? Or were you punished excessively by a chaplain with a heavy hand?"

"What happened to us, versus what happened to your fellow Apprentices could be two completely different situations" Zimmer protested, his eyes narrowing a little at Cedric as he spoke. 

Cedric resisted the temptation to growl at the older Black Templar, righteous indignation and fury making it really difficult for him to think. He crossed his arms over his chest and took a step back "So you say. You have given me no proof that you and your squad were punished unjustly. The only thing I have to go on is your word. Per the traditions of our Chapter, I should kick you out of this examination room and report you to not just the captain you obey, but the chaplain whose punishment you are trying to circumvent by coming here for wound treatment."

“Sarge… Just… Call the captain. I’d rather you not piss off the only known Black Templar Apothecary within a hundred miles of this place. He can refuse to treat us, you do know that, right?” Miles groaned from where he was laying face down on the examination bed, his back a mess of bloody wounds, some of them still bleeding.

“He… You wouldn’t, would you?” Zimmer growled, taking a half-step towards Cedric before pausing. Even with the older Templar in the bottom half of his armor and Cedric fully unarmored, the young Apothecary was still a good foot and a half taller than the Sergeant.

“You come into this clinic, demanding to be seen by a Black Templar Apothecary or another Son Of Dorn, causing a huge scene and disrupting the schedule that some of our Ultramarine allies have carefully made. You inform me of who did this to you, and when I give you a warning about his likely temper and behaviors you disregard them out of hand. So whyever would you trust my medical opinions and suggestions?” Cedric hissed, doing his best to keep the fury and frustration out of his voice. “I have half a mind to leave the five of you here and get an older apothecary to handle you all, since clearly you won’t listen to a single thing I say if it’s not what you want to hear!”

“Fine then. I don’t want a brat who’s throwing a temper tantrum to treat me or my Brothers, anyways! You sure you aren’t an Emperor’s Child with short hair and blue eyes?” Zimmer hissed, glaring up at him “Because you sure tantrum like one!”

Don’t attack your patients, no matter how much they upset you unless they physically attack you first.

Is one of the rules that he had been told over and over again. Cedric had thought that this would be difficult to keep to when dealing with Chaos Astartes. Right now, all he wanted to do was to launch Zimmer through the window and wash his hands of the smug bastard Sargeant. Instead he stated “Fine then. I’ll get the senior-most Apothecary who is working at the clinic today. He isn’t a Son of Dorn, but he is very, very good at what he does.” His lips twitch a little in vicious mirth as he voxxed “Apothecary Hura, would you please come to Group Examination room Two please? I am having difficulties with a squad of injured Astartes and require your insight and expertise.”

The door opened without a sound, slowly revealing the oversized and clearly Chaos-aligned Death Guard Apothecary. Hura’s helmet was off and he smiled pleasantly at Cedric “I just so happened to be passing by this room when you called me, young Cedric. Dealing with unruly patients is a difficult skill to master, especially since they are in a group like this.”

“You’re joking. This is a threat. Look, kid I get that we may have -” Zimmer started, going very pale as he stared up at Hura, a look of slow-dawning horror on his face.

Hura interrupted the sergeant, saying “Ah-ah-ah! Bad and naughty patients don’t get to be treated by adorable young apothecaries doing their best to patch up ungrateful bastards. They get to deal with me.” This is said with a serene smile that sent terrified shivers through all five of the injured Templars simultaneously. 

“Hey… Uhm… Some… Some of us didn’t actively antagonize the younger medic and are hoping to maybe get patched up by him instead?” Miles asked, having slowly and painfully gotten up to his feet.

“I’ll deal with these five. You go on, and have your lunch. Shoo! You should be on-break anyways.” Hura instructed Cedric, having entirely ignored what the Black Templar had said. “Shoo! Taking appropriate breaks is important.”

Cedric nodded, smiling gratefully at Hura “Thank you, Apothecary Hura…Though are you sure I shouldn’t stay and assist you? I won’t be able to learn how to deal with difficult patients if I avoid them altogether.”

“A different time, young Cedric. They have already been quite bothersome and entitled by the way they burst into the waiting room and demanded immediate treatment by a specific set of chapters. They also need to learn that sometimes, there are consequences to their words and actions. And trying to treat patients while hungry is difficult. Go on, young one.”

“You… You’re not going to abandon us to him, are you? He’s a heretic! A Chaotic Traitor!” Illus called out, eyes wide and pleading as he looked at Cedric.

“Apothecary Hura has over ten-thousand years of medical experience, and is more than qualified to treat your injuries. You won’t listen to the warnings I gave you about the one who injured you like this, so why would you listen to me about how to care for your injuries?” Cedric answered, his voice an icy approximation of calm. “Thank you for taking over their care, Apothecary Hura, I leave them in your capable hands.” With that he turned on his heel and left the exam room, closing the door behind him.

[kidoblivion]

Pose taken from @adorkastock

[polteergeistt]

Hello it is 2024 and Davy Jones's theme still does Things to me.

[manyfandomocs]

An Ever After High plot bunny, poly Dexter and Raven ship? 🩵

For sure for sure

Melora Zimmer (Dexter Charming and Raven Queen ship)

Daughter of The Princess from The Frog Prince, Melora knew she was supposed to grow up to be spoiled and only reluctantly befriend and eventually marry Hopper. But she wasn’t sure about that. She didn’t want to be spoiled, though her mother certainly had no problems giving her anything she wanted, and she didn’t want to be disgusted by Hopper. She liked him, he was always nice to her when they spoke, even if they mostly spoke with him in frog form. But what could she do? There was no betraying your destiny. At least, that’s what she thought. Until Raven refused to sign the Storybook of Legends and changed their school forever. It scared her at first, honestly. Melora didn’t know what it would mean to not have her destiny, even if she didn’t want it in the first place. But classes with Dexter helped her see that maybe it could be a good idea, so he brings her to officially meet Raven, and the two help the shy princess figure out what she wants her life to be

Send me a fandom / love interest / faceclaim (one or all of those) and I’ll make a plot bunny

[zomaribon]

Big ass doodle dump part 9

[n0rara]

also making a figurine for myself -w-

[lazah-bang]

Wesley's instrument of choice: Violin

[leechandoki]

Been a long time since I made a speed paint. Was gonna make this into a YCH (Your Character Here) but got carried away and made my VTuber Avatar Lil'GreenBean (@lilgreenpeas on Tumblr, @leechandoki on Twitter).

I absolutely love how this came out and was quite surprised that I still got it and also it took me an Hour and 17 minutes to finish. You have no idea how proud I am to still have the ability to draw quickly :')

Kofi | Post+

[theimpossiblescheme]

All Grief To Refrain

(There isn't nearly enough Cat Morgan content in this fandom, and I wanted to shower some love on another one of my OCs, so here's this little ficlet to kill two birds with one stone! Moribuckles belongs to @0zzysaurus, Mermoggie belongs to @sillybub, and the other OCs belong to myself--hope you enjoy it!)

The summer solstice saw the blood of sailors across the country invigorated by a glorious sun and promising winds.  The air at the docks grew thick with hot breath, rumbling chatter, and creaking hulls as they all rushed to and fro, heaving their cargo alongside them and stomping their boots as they stumbled to catch up with their fellows and swap gossip about their voyages both past and future.  With all the hustle and bustle, it always took a few hours for all the people to clear off.

Then the real celebrations could begin—what Mistoffelees looked forward to every year, almost as much as the Jellicle Ball.

His father was always the first to arrive; Cat Morgan and the Tigress were still inseparable, even after years of retirement.  He would wave from the bow of the ship before bounding down the gangplank and nuzzling every inch of his face.  “We’ve still got a few hours to ourselves,” he would say, finally drawing back, but laying his tail around Misto’s shoulder.  “Let’s see if we can’t spot any old faces, eh?”  And the two of them would weave in and out of the shadows and between people’s legs, observing all the humans as they came and went.  At every familiar figure, Morgan would point them out and go off on a rambling tangent about all the times they’d run into each other; the stories would collide and blur together so much that Misto couldn’t tell where one began and one ended.  Eventually they would run into Moribuckles from the Belfast, his crewman’s hat perched jauntily on his head as always, followed by Caligola the dockmaster's cat sporting a new eyepatch over his missing right eye. And the three old toms would laugh and joke together and expand on each other’s stories so that the verbal tangle only got thicker.  But Misto let them talk—the sound comforted him.  And he would laugh and smile along and never mind too much when Caligola jabbed him in the shoulder too hard.

Round about sunset, when all the humans had disappeared, the cats began to arrive.  Avrilline and Lillie were always first, and after she was done hugging Morgan to within an inch of his life, Lillie would glue herself to Misto’s side and beg for stories.  She seldom made it out to the Junkyard between her mother’s shows, and she wanted to know all about his latest magic tricks and how Tugger and Victoria was doing and if Cass still missed her and… after Misto cast a look up at Morgan, the old tom would laugh and tell him and “little greycat” to run along and have fun while he and Avrilline talked.

A sudden yell from the crow’s nest of the Lorelei heralded the arrival of Mermoggie, and Lillie would suddenly interrupt her chatter to perk up her ears.  Misto was never far behind in greeting her, barely getting a word in edgewise (and grinning ear to ear the whole time) as Lillie begged with stars in her eyes for another set of stories.  Mermoggie just laughed and playfully scratched her ears with one paw, hefting a net full of crabs and oysters over her impressive shoulders with the other.  “There’ll be plenty of time for that later, darlin’,” she’d say before recruiting Misto’s help in distributing supper.

When the shells were all discarded and the sweet smells seasoned the air, another call would ring up from the Columbina, and Ruffiana and her shipmates would disembark.  Ruffiana would slot herself between Mermoggie and Moribuckles and demand to know what the old “sea poms” had been doing with themselves.  Linotta would gossip with Lillie and blushingly ask for news of Gilbert.  And Olivier would snuggle under Misto’s arm and beg to see a trick.  Of course, Misto always obliged—nothing too fancy or frightening, just a few small bursts of fireworks.  And when the sparks had faded and the applause had died, then the evening began in earnest.  Everyone tucked into their meals with gusto, and everyone had a yarn to spin between helpings.  Ruffiana and Avrilline’s performances, Mermoggie and Moribuckles’ voyages, Linotta and Lillie’s adventures, Morgan and Caligola’s reminiscences, Olivier’s excited questions… and most of the time Misto was simply content to listen.  Once in a while, though, somebody would urge him not to be shy—“you can’t tell me it’s so boring there’s nothing to report,” Ruffiana would chuckle—and Misto would share the latest goings on in the Junkyard.  Lillie and Linotta always asked about the Jellicle Ball, and if they hadn’t tired themselves out yet Misto would get up and show off what he could remember of dancing under the Jellicle Moon.  Even if the steps weren’t exact, they always thrilled his friends, and even in the darkening cold he felt warmer and brighter for it.  As the evening wore on, more cats would trickle in from ships he didn’t recognize, and there were always room and oysters for the weary travelers.  At some point, Morgan would even start up a song to keep everyone’s spirits up, and their tiny corner of the docks fairly glowed with their voices.

Above them, the sky would turn from orange to pink, from pink to purple, and purple to a final velvety black.  As everyone noticed, the talk and laughter would grow quiet, and all eyes would turn to the stars.  There was a collective holding of breath, and Misto would feel his father’s trembling paw on his shoulder.  As the cats all watched, the stars seemed to shimmer even brighter and whirl around each other’s orbits like the world’s most majestic Conjuring Turn before congealing into a single white line across the sky.  The line traced all the way down to the horizon, a dazzling seam ripping open to split the sky in two… and out of this seam, as if from the edges of the cosmos, came another ship.  Moldering and ancient, ridden with barnacles and dripping with weeds and slime, a derelict ruin clinging desperately to some remnant of a soul.  With audible effort, it sailed into port and dropped its rotting anchor, and a single figure made its way down to dry land.  A tall, silver-furred queen except for two heart-shaped rings of midnight black highlighting her face and chest.

And the brightest eyes of any cat alive, in a familiar pattern of blue and gold.

Misto’s own eyes always stung as he got up to greet his mother.  Undine looked close to crying herself as she embraced him, purring and nuzzling at his ears the way she hadn’t been able to all year.  The way she never quite could in a dream.  Everyone else cheered and rose to welcome her home, but Undine would float past all of them to reach her mate.  And Morgan would cling to her like she might disappear again if he let go, rocking them back and forth and whispering how much he’d missed her.  Even after Undine settled in amongst the company and began to share her own tales from the worlds between, Morgan stayed at her side, one paw enclosed in hers.  She would set sail again in the morning, and her ghostly vessel would keep them apart for another year.  But for now, for this moment, they were a whole family again.  And when Undine’s voice lifted this time for a song, Misto sang the harmony like he’d known it all his life, and all gathered friends and companions joined them in the chorus.

[that-is-tat-o]

Debati postearlo pq pues nose pero aquí está

[ID de imagen:

Un dibujo de 2 jóvenes: Ramon (izquierda) y Ernesto (derecha). Ramon tiene pelo oscuro y lentes, esta viendo a Ernesto preocupado mientras se agarra el codo por detrás con la mano; esta vestido de padre. Ernesto tiene el pelo claro y esta viendo hacia otro lado incómodo, tiene 2 cachitos en la cabeza y una cola como de diablo; esta usando un sweater.

Fin de ID de imagen.]

[innocence-of-sinners]

Sterling Zimmer/???

Model:Fin(Video Blogging RPF)

Ethnicity:Canadian

Gender:Male

Age:24

Height:5'11

Sexuality:Gay

Occupation:Music Producer

Image Songs:1.Me And You by Fall Out Boy(2.Boomboom by Seventeen)

Character Tropes:Action Survivor

Outfits:

[lostfirefly]

Life Must Have It's Mysteries (Ch.6)

This is my gift to the world for International Women's Day :) The world didn't ask me to, but I don't care :) Pain continues leading me to art :)

English is not my native language, errors may occur. As always, feel free to share your thoughts :) Masterlist is here.

Description: Buggy and Catherine continue searching for parts of the scepter.

Warnings: Fun, fluff, adventure, Buggy's inappropriate jokes, swearing (as always). Shitty shit again:)

Words: 5728 (sorry, this chapter is long again)

Buggy x OC from my “You’ve Got the Same Dream as Me” series.

Taglist: @gingernut1314, @operationroots, @hey-august, @rorywritesjunk, @yujo-nishimura (I hope you still like it!)

The title is taken from “Life Must Have It's Mysteries” by Hans Zimmer (OST Inferno).

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

“Jesus Christ, Buggy, fuck off.” Catherine ran out of the bath, holding a towel in her hands and pulling on her underwear. 

“Why are you angry? It was so-o-o good, baby! I'm glad your Buggy Bear can make you moan his name out loud. Geez, it's like music to my ears!” He followed her out, smiling happily.

“Screw you!” She threw the towel at him. “Hate you! Do you even know how to control yourself?” She stood next to the bed and put on a fresh t-shirt and sweatpants. 

“Of course I know, I'm not an animal. Don’t be mad and come to me.” Buggy separated his hands, grabbed Catherine with them, and pulled her towards him. 

“Fuck you and your chop chop shit! Let me go!!” She tried to pry his hands off. 

“Nope.” He hugged her from behind. 

“What you did to me is unforgivable.” She was blushing. 

“Calm down, cotton candy, no one heard us.” He kissed her temple. 

“Actually, I heard you!” A male voice came from behind the wall. 

“Oh, my god!” Catherine covered her face with her hands. 

“Sorry! But that was hot! I was hap..” The voice wanted to continue the conversation. 

“Shut up, or I'll cut your throat!” Buggy barked at the man. “Do you want me to go and kill him, my little pie?” He whispered quietly in her ear and buried his face in her hair.

“No-o! Let him live.” Catherine removed her hands from her face, placed them on his hands and started chortling.

“What's so funny?” 

“God, I never thought I'd start a relationship with a clown with whom I'd have hot sex in a shower in a motel in the middle of the desert. And there will be a man lying in the next room who'd hear how you are fucking me.” She shook with laughter. “My mom and sister would be shocked. How did their little decent Catherine come to this?” 

“I don’t even know if I should be offended now or not. I’ll never ever force you to do anything against your will.” She heard the sadness in his voice. He was clearly upset.

“Oh, come on, my silly clown.” Catherine turned to Buggy, wrapped her arm around his neck, and ran her other hand through his loose wet hair. “I know that. Don't worry about it, okay?” 

“I’ll never hurt you.” Buggy looked at her with a frightened stare.

“I know!” Catherine stroked his chest. 

“So, you're not angry at me, right? Because I…”

“Shush!” She put her finger to his lips. “Everything is fine. But do me a favor.”

“Anything you want, Cathie-pie.” Buggy took her hand and kissed it. 

“Please get dressed. You've been naked since the moment you ran out of the bath after me, and our curtains are open.” She pointed with her gaze to the window behind which stood a family with a small child with their jaws dropped.

Catherine turned to the window and went to close the curtains, not knowing whether to be ashamed of the whole situation or proud. 

She smiled, waved to the people outside, closed the curtains and turned to Buggy, who was sitting on the bed. “My blue-haired love, please. Underpants. I see your... well…Buggy Balls.” She flushed. 

He detached his hand, grabbed Catherine's wrist and pulled her sharply towards him, sitting her on his lap. “So? We can do something more interesting while I'm like this.” Buggy hugged her, clucked his tongue and smashed his lips into hers. His kiss was a little sloppy at first, but became deeper. 

Catherine instantly cupped his face and pressed herself against him. She began to moan through the kiss, feeling his hand slide up her thigh.

“No, no!” She struggled but broke the kiss. “Get away from me, fucking clown!” Catherine slapped his hands. “That’s it. I'm getting up now and gonna make us breakfast. You get dressed and come to me, okay?”

Buggy pouted and sighed heavily. “Okay.”

Catherine smiled and pecked him on his nose. “I love you.”

She got up from his lap and quickly ran to the kitchen. She made his favorite breakfast and brewed coffee.

“Are you coming? Everything's ready.” Catherine was putting the plates on the table when Buggy came to the table and plopped into a chair. 

“You know, when I told you to get dressed, I didn't mean to go out in just a pair of very short underpants. You could at least wear boxers, otherwise you look like a stripper.” She poured him coffee, put it on the table and kissed him on the cheek. 

“You like what you see, don't you?” He smiled slyly. 

“Oh my god.” Catherine rolled her eyes. “Eat up. Your favorite fried eggs with lots of bacon and five sausages.” 

Buggy happily stuck his fork into the sausage and took a big bite. “Yummy! Thank you!” He mumbled with his mouth full. 

“Buggy, chew first, then talk. We've discussed this more than once.” 

Catherine checked the drawers in the kitchen. “Sugar. There's no sugar in here. Oh, wait, I grabbed some at the diner. Otherwise, I will be visited by a whining Buggy who will begin suffering because he cannot drink coffee without sugar. And then I’ll definitely kill you.” 

Catherine went to her bag and pulled out a couple of packets. “I think we'll eat and cont-- Why are you wearing just one sock?” She looked at him, pointing her fingers at his feet. 

Buggy shrugged and bit the sausage. “I couldn't find the other one.”

“Jesus Christ! If you couldn't find the second one, take the pair that has two socks. I can't believe it, Buggy. You drove me crazy today.” 

“Just today? I thought I could do this almost every night. And twice this morning. If you know what I mean.” He chuckled idiotically and started imitating her voice. “Hate you, Buggy, Oh, fuck me, Buggy. Please, Buggy, don't stop, yes, more. Geez, I love hearing that.” He took a bite of the sausage.

“Shut up! You're pissing me off!!” She hit him on the head, threw the sugar packets on the table, and went back to the bags. “Honestly, you're like a big baby sometimes. Although why sometimes. You're always like a big baby.” Catherine found a clean pair of socks in her bag and walked back to him. “How did you even live before me? I wouldn't be surprised if, before you met me, you could have been lying drunk in an alley somewhere.”

Buggy looked at her, chewing the bacon, and smiled strangely. 

“Oh, my God! You were lying drunk in an alley somewhere?” She threw socks at him. 

“So what?” He asked, stuffing three pieces of bacon into his mouth.

“So what? Well, I don’t know. You could have been hurt. You could have been beaten or robbed.”

“Meh..”

Catherine poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down on the chair. She sipped her coffee, watched Buggy happily spooning bacon onto a sausage, and started laughing. 

“What are you laughing at?” He asked, dipping the sausage in the yolk. 

“God, I went to a good university. My parents would be shocked at who their daughter fell in love with.” Catherine brought the mug up to her nose and squinted her eyes. 

Buggy raised one eyebrow in the silent question. 

She giggled. “Eat your breakfast, idiot!” 

⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥫⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭⥭

“I'm telling you, you read the map wrong!”

“Stop grumbling, Buggy! I couldn't read it wrong. See, in the copies it was written to go on the Long Ring Long Land highway. Shit. Another stupid name.” Catherine mumbled. 

They were standing in the middle of a part of the desert that was covered with few plants. The place seemed lifeless. 

“I'm telling you, we're lost!” 

“Jesus, will you stop whining?” She lightly punched the navigator in the car a few times. “The damn thing sometimes malfunctions from the heat.”

“We're standing in the middle of nowhere, and we don't know where to go.” Buggy picked up a bottle of water and took a small sip. 

“Don’t be nervous.” Catherine put her hand on his wrist and gently ran her fingers over it. He immediately fell silent. “Hm. I think I've found my way to calm you down.” She said quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” She ran her hand over his ponytail. “Oh, look! There's some kind of caravan out there. Wait a second!” Catherine got out of the car and ran forward.

“Catherine, wait!” Buggy quickly looked out the side window and slapped his hands on the steering wheel. “Fuck!” And quickly went after her. 

Catherine ran across the sand towards the caravan. It was a big group of people, some of whom were sitting on camels, some of them walked on the ground, carrying the bags. Almost all were wrapped in clothes of fine rose-colored silk.

“Sir, sir!” Catherine ran up to the man sitting on the first camel. “Excuse me!” 

The man made a motion with his hand and the caravan stopped. He jumped off the camel and approached Catherine.

“What can I do for you?” The man asked with a low voice.

“Another one without a t-shirt.” She thought in her head. 

It was a very tall, light blond-haired, very lean and muscular man with tan skin. He was dressed in a green belt, and orange pants with white stripes, his light pink feather coat and wore thin white sunglasses with red lenses. He walked with an odd, bow-legged waddle. 

Catherine looked at him, blinking rapidly, and all she could say was, “Aren't you hot in your pink coat?” 

“Did you stop me asking that question?” Asked the man. Catherine looked at him more closely.

“What? Oh, no! I'm sorry! Would you mind...” Catherine felt Buggy's hand on her arm.

“I've told you a million times not to do that!” He hissed through gritted teeth and glared at the man in the pink coat. Buggy instinctively pulled Catherine a little closer to him. 

She pulled her hand from his arm and took two steps forward, walking over to the man in the fur coat, and showed him the notebook. “Look, we’re looking for this place.” Catherine pointed her finger somewhere on the sheet. “We were on the right road, but either we got lost or something else.” 

“Why would such a beautiful girl go to those godforsaken lands?” The man asked. “I'm Doflamingo, by the way.” 

“Your parents were cruel to name you that.” She shook her head. “Never mind. We're just tourists from Loguetown. My boyfriend and I came to Egypt to see the ancient beauties. So here we are, traveling back and forth, seeing all sorts of ancient stuff.” 

Catherine noticed Doflamingo shift his gaze to the clown as soon as she said the word “boyfriend”. 

“Weird.” He took two steps toward Catherine, stood behind her back, and put his finger in his notebook, slinging his arm over her shoulder. “You see this road right here.” 

“Uh-huh.” She took a small step forward. 

“So he can go that way.” He whispered in her ear, glancing at the clown. “And you, you can join my caravan.” 

Catherine turned her head and looked at him questioningly. Doflamingo winked at her.

“Why do men in Egypt talk to me like that?” She threw his arm off of her. “Listen, DogDingo or whatever your name is.”

“Doflamingo, actually.”

“Whatever. I can break your back if you don’t tell me where to go.” Catherine looked at him angrily.

“Okay. This is where you need to go. Now you're going to take this road right here.” He put his elbow on her shoulder and pointed in the direction with his finger. You'll see a foxy-shaped cactus and turn right. Drive about another hour or so, and you'll get to the right place.”

Catherine slammed the notebook shut, threw Doflamingo's arm off again, and replied “thank you” sharply. 

She took two steps towards Buggy, who was already getting redder than his nose from either heat or anger, took his hand and ran her fingers over his palm. 

“My little bear, get me away from this strange man.” Buggy hugged her around her shoulder and led Catherine toward the car. She got in, took another easy swipe at the navigator and punched in the coordinates from her notepad. 

Buggy was silent the whole way and clearly not in the mood as Catherine stroked his back.

“You know, when that man said fox-shaped cactus, I didn't think it would be a man-shaped cactus with his hair split into two spikes. There's even a sign here. Foxy City - 500 kilometers from here.” Catherine staring at the plant with interest. 

“Yeah. For all I know, he organized his community and now lives somewhere in the desert.” Buggy replied rather dryly, stepping closer to her. 

“Are you alright? You've been so quiet the whole way. And that's very unusual for my clown.” She ran her hand over his arm. 

“What? Yeah. I'm fine.” 

Catherine walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and rested her head on his chest. 

“What are you doing?” He asked surprised. 

“I love you and want to give you a hug. I thought you seemed upset after seeing that flamingo-man.” 

“I'm not upset. Big deal that every man on our journey considers it a right to flirt with you.” Buggy placed his hands on her back. 

“Hah, I knew you were jealous!” She squeezed him in her arms.

“I’m not! Better tell me where do we go from here?”

Catherine, without removing her head from his chest, simply pointed her finger in the right direction.

They walked along the very light and very faintly saturated reddish-yellow colored sand for about half an hour. Catherine kept looking at her notepad, orienting herself to the notes on the coordinates, while Buggy was silent the entire time. Catherine looked ahead, then at her notes, then ahead again. 

“Oh my God! Fuck me!! It can’t be!” She started squealing, kicking her legs and threw herself at Buggy with a hug. 

“Geez! What’s wrong, cotton candy?” He stopped pouting and laughed. 

“Do you know what a pyramid is?!” She waved him from side to side and pointed a finger in its direction. 

“I have no idea!”  

Catherine flopped to the ground and grabbed her head. She looked at a smooth-sided pyramid made of limestone. She lay down on the ground and started kicking her legs again. Catherine rolled from her back to her buttocks and looked at Buggy. She smiled broadly, joyfully clenched her hands into fists and jumped up to him with a squeal again. 

“Love.” Smack. “Love.” Smack. Smack. “Love, love, love you.” Smack. Smack. Smack. 

“I’m certainly delighted by your reaction, but maybe you can enlighten me?” Buggy flicked her on the nose. 

“Ouch!” She scratched her nose. “This’s Nefer Asut Unas. The pyramid of Unas!” 

“First of all, I didn't understand the first three words. And U.. Who?”

“The pyramid of Unas, he’s the last ruler of the Fifth Dynasty. All walls in this pyramid are covered with texts. These texts are prayers, spells, and incantations to help the deceased king ascend to his place among the gods in the sky and to resurrect. They are considered to be one of the oldest religious texts in the history of Ancient Egypt.” 

“Cathie-pie, I love it when you share your knowledge, but seriously, I didn’t understand half of what you said. So. This’s… This's... What?” 

“This’s the ancient necropolis. Let me see my notes. Not this one, not this one. No, no, no.” Catherine ran her fingers over the sheets and felt Buggy rest his chin on her shoulder. She reached out and scratched his head with her fingers. “Here! Look. The entrance to the pyramid is located on its north side, and from there, a descending passage leads to a series of chambers and passages. We need to find this room.” She pointed her finger at the drawing. “This’s our goal on the southern side. The largest chamber is the burial chamber, where the pharaoh's sarcophagus is placed. So I suggest not to lose time. We pack our things and set out on a search.” 

While Catherine was checking the flashlights, she looked at Buggy, who was changing his t-shirt. She glanced at his naked torso and blue hair on his chest. 

“I hate you.”

Buggy looked at her in confusion. “This is your fourth “I hate you” in the last two hours, Cathie-pie. Could you please tell me what did I do?”

“Screw you!” She wrinkled her nose, took extra batteries and a hatchet with her, just in case. 

They approached the main entrance to the complex. The whole complex was made of the main pyramid, a valley temple, a mortuary temple, a causeway, and the main pyramid which are all enclosed by a perimeter wall. They got to the entrance to the pyramid. Catherine examined the wall and stairs. Some of the casing on the lowest steps of it has remained intact.

“Now where do we go?” Asked Buggy, flopping down on the sand.

“Okay, look. Firstly, we have to be careful again. This pyramid is also on the tourist route. It's not as popular as the others, of course. But there are some people hanging around there.” Catherine glanced at a small group of tourists. She shifted her gaze to Buggy, put her hand to his face, and pulled a bottle of water out of her bag. “Here, you need some water.” 

He looked at her with confusion, but took the bottle from her hands and took a sip. “Thanks.”

She put the bottle back down, ruffled his hair and pulled out the map again. “Now there will be some kind of corridor, and then we'll enter a spacious hallway that we'll follow to the tomb we need.”

He picked up the ground, took the flashlight from her, and shined it down the path. “Well, this looks good. Let’s go?” 

They looked at another group of tourists at the same time and walked into the entrance. Descending an easy passage that drops about five meters, they entered a narrow horizontal tunnel that was well-illuminated, leading to the main hall.

“So beautiful!” Catherine could barely contain her squeals as they entered the central hall. “Some of the best hieroglyphs I've seen. Look! They’re very clear and some still have a bit of color.” She approached one of the walls and slightly ran her fingers over the drawings. 

Buggy walked up to her, put his hand on her back and looked carefully at her satisfied face.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Catherine noticed him staring at her.

“Me? I'm not looking.” He cleared his throat. “So. Where do we go next?”

“Oh, yes. We're straight ahead and to the east and then to the west.”

“Then let's go. If those people from the street follow us, it will be difficult for us to find anything.”

They walked through the long horizontal passage following a level path to the antechamber, which was guarded by three granite slab portcullises in succession. The passage ended at a room located under the center axis of the pyramid. All the walls and the ceiling were covered with hieroglyphs, drawings and various signs.

“Amazing!!” Catherine whispered, moving her flashlight along the walls. “Okay! Now to the east. Wow! Buggy! You see those letters?” She pointed with her hand at the wall.

“Yeah.”

“These are ancient texts which are said to mark the beginning of the afterlife.” Catherine didn’t notice how she took Buggy's hand. “Wow! It’s like a voyage through time, right? You know, my dad and I once dreamed of going to Egypt and seeing the pyramids. He would have loved it.” She felt Buggy stroke her arm with his fingers. “I'm sorry, a little flashback came over me.”

“Hey! Don't be sorry, my cotton candy.” Buggy hugged Catherine’s shoulders and kissed the top of her head. 

“I wish he could... “ She felt how Buggy hugged her tightly. “You know. Nevermind. We’re losing our time. Let's go.” Catherine dragged Buggy to the next room. 

They turned in the right direction to the east and saw a small room with 3 recesses.

“This’s the antechamber! Now to the west!” 

They turned to the west and reached the Burial chamber. The ceiling of the room was painted with golden stars in a dark blue sky. The decoration in every spare inch of the part of the walls consisted of vertical columns of meticulously carved hieroglyphs painted in blue. The saw basalt sarcophagus, surrounded by white alabaster walls.

“What’s this?” Buggy asked, shining his flashlight at the ceiling, which had starfish and hieroglyphics painted on it.

“Oh! These drawings represent Unas aspiring to become a star in order to ascend to the heavens. “We are now in the land of Osiris, the first resurrected king, where Unas was expected to spend time before he could go up to the sky.” 

“Where are we?” Buggy rounded his eyes. “It seems to me that we encountered this in the past... that one.. Okiris.”

“He’s Osiris, Buggy. Osiris and Anubis are the central characters of Egyptian mythology. No wonder they are everywhere. ”

She ran the flashlight along the wall and carefully traced the hieroglyphs with her hands. She started reading quietly. 

“Wow. Listen.

May you cross the sky united in dark. May you rise in light land, the place in which you shine. Set, Nephthys, go proclaim to Upper Egypt's gods and their spirits. This Unas comes, a spirit indestructible. If he wishes you to die, you will die. If he wishes you to live, you will live.

And these writings on the walls are a kind of Book of the Dead.” 

“And these things are probably expensive. Let’s take one?”

Catherine heard Buggy’s voice and shifted her gaze at him. She saw the canopic chest standing in the wall and Buggy, who had almost taken one of the figurines in his hands.

“Don't touch! How did you... How did you find them?” 

“I don't know. I just did what you usually do. Slid my hand along the wall and the thing opened. Cool stuff, yeah? Let's take it?” Buggy pointed to the vessels with his eyes and extended his hand. 

“I said no!” She slapped his hands. “I already told you, don’t touch anything!”

“But why?”

“Do you know who it is?” Catherine pointed her finger at the four vessels.

“I don't know.” Buggy shrugged. “A dog, a baboon, a bird, and a guy with hair.” He pointed the flashlight at each thing.

“It's not the dog, the baboon, the bird, and the guy. It's the four sons of Horus. They assist the king in his ascent to heaven with the help of ladders. I told you about Horus, remember?” 

“If you were naked then..” Buggy got lost in thoughts. “Then no.”

“No, idiot!! When we were on our first adventure.”

“No, either. Then I imagined you naked.” He giggled idiotically. 

“Oh god!” Catherine rolled her eyes. 

“So why can't I take them? Are you afraid that these nice guys can somehow harm me?” He stared at the vessels, hoping that Catherine would allow him to take one.

“I don't want to check, to be honest. We're in foreign territory. And we don't need to steal things from the Egyptian pyramids. God knows what curses are on them.”

“You're too late for curses, cotton candy. We stole part of the scepter from the last pyramid.” Buggy ran the flashlight over the heads of the creatures and squinted one eye.

“Stealing a scepter from the wall or a thing that's meant to hold the entrails is different. Please, Buggy, don't touch it.” She glanced at him with sad eyes.

He scowled, looking at her worried face, sighed sadly and stepped aside. Catherine approached the sarcophagus and began to examine it. 

“You know, Cathie-pie, I wouldn't have gotten this far without you and your knowledge of all Egyptian things.” He said, scratching his head.

“What? What happened to you? You've been acting strange these last few days. You look at me all the time and say nice things.”

“I always say nice things to you! Just.. I don't know. Sometimes I think what would I do without you?” Buggy said quietly. 

“Oh, you'd probably be drinking beer, sitting in bars or on the couch, and taking girls home to do to them what you're doing to me, little pervert.” Catherine let out a little blush and felt him come closer.

“Oh, believe me, I've never done that to anyone.” He chuckled, rested his chin on her shoulder and pinched her ass. 

“I hate you! Don't you dare grab my ass in front of dead pharaohs.”

“You just called me a pervert in front of that pharaoh.” Buggy squeezed her buttocks. 

“You like pissing me off, right?” Catherine narrowed her eyes and glanced at him.

“Ugh, my cotton candy gets angry, and we have sexual tension right next to the dead dude lying in the sarcophagus. How did you come to this, baby?” He wrapped his hands around her waist. 

“You're disg.. Hush!” Catherine covered his mouth with her hand. “There's someone walking around out there.” She carefully removed her hand. 

“Maybe it's a mummy that's risen and come to take you with it?” Buggy pinched her side slightly. 

“Are you an idiot? No. It's probably those people we saw outside. Hell, why did everyone go to Egypt?” Catherine rolled her eyes and slapped his hands. “Get your clingy arms off!” 

They heard voices and footsteps begin to move away. 

“Okay, we need to find the clues and get out of here.” Catherine started snapping her fingers. “The clues. The clues.”

She sat down on her knees and scrutinized the walls. “I don't understand. I don't get it. What's the connection?” 

“Maybe it has something to do with that man in the coffin?” Buggy asked, pointing the flashlights at the sarcophagus. “You said we're in the realm of this one. What's-his-name...” 

“Osiris!” Catherine ran her fingers over her temple. “That's right! You're right!” She huffed and raised her hands above her. 

“I'm right?!” There was surprise on his face. 

“Yes! If we're in the realm of Osiris, and there's something like the book of the dead on the wall, do you know where we are?” Catherine stared with a pleased face. 

“Are you expecting an answer from me?” Buggy bulged his eyes. 

“We're on trial!” 

“Yeah, that made it clearer.” He answered sarcastically. 

“Shh, clown! Look for scales or a drawing of scales. Something like that.” Catherine started running from wall to wall. 

“I didn't get anything, but okay.” Buggy started shining the flashlight on the wall. “Cotton candy, isn't that it?” He looked at the drawing behind the sarcophagus. 

“Where? Where?” Catherine ran up to the sarcophagus and pushed Buggy away. 

“For God's sake, woman!” 

“Yes!! You're doing great!” She ran to him and pecked him on the cheek. “It is the Judgment of Osiris!” 

“What?” 

“Oh my god, Buggy! It's one of the most famous myths! The soul would embark on a dangerous journey through the afterlife to reach paradise. Once the journey through the underworld is complete, the deceased reach the Hall of Final Judgment. Do you know what the most important trial was according to Egyptian mythology? The Judgment of Osiris. Let me check.” Catherine climbed onto the sarcophagus. 

“Cotton candy, what are you doing? You're trampling on a dead man.”

“Look! There’s a door behind the sarcophagus under the drawing with scales. Come here. Help me.” Catherine called Buggy with her hand.

He walked up to her and stood between the sarcophagus and the massive stone door.

“Try to move it!” She lightly spanked his back.

“Fuck, calm down, woman!” Buggy put his hand on the door and tried to move it. “Shit! It's heavy!” 

“Quiet!” Catherine gently slapped his hands. “Do you hear that? Someone's coming.”

Buggy plopped down behind the sarcophagus and pulled Catherine's hand. She collapsed onto him and sat right on his lap, so that his legs were between hers.

“I should mention that I like the position you're sitting in, cotton candy.” He winked at her and growled slightly.

“Holy Gosh!!” Catherine looked out from behind the sarcophagus. “Quiet. They’re close!”

A small group of tourists entered the room. 

Catherine peeked out from behind the sarcophagus and hid again. She pressed her face to Buggy's face.

“Ooh, too much, Cathie-pie, you're so sexy right now.” Buggy whispered and reached his hand towards her ass.

“You're nuts?” She grabbed his hand and covered his month with her other hand. “Quiet!” 

They heard the group walking around the hall and after a while the sounds of footsteps began to drift away.

Catherine looked out and saw an empty room. “Finally! They’re gone.”

She stood up from Buggy and helped him up. “Let’s try to open this door.”

Buggy tried again to move the door. “It doesn’t work out. Fuck!” 

“Wait! You see? The drawing! The scarab on the wall!” Catherine pressed her hands on the drawing. “Oh! I know! I know! We need to open the sarcophagus.” Catherine whispered and started hitting Buggy's hand. 

“Excuse me?” He stared at her.

“There should be a decoration in the shape of a scarab inside. According to myth, the scarab came out of the eyes of Osiris, and was also a kind of guide to the afterlife. Help me!” Catherine slapped her hand over the sarcophagus.

“I’m really sorry. Weren't you the one who told me not to take any weird stuff?” Buggy indignantly whispered.

“Don't be a baby! Do you want the second part of the scepter or not? Help me!” 

“Fine! Geez!” 

They leaned on the lid of the sarcophagus and tried to push it aside. Catherine remembered about the hatchet in her bag. She took it out and gave it to Buggy. He struck the hatchet several times between the lid and the base of the sarcophagus, and they managed to open it.

“Shit. There are the remains of mummies and bandages!” Catherine squealed. “Where is the scarab? Where are you... There it is! Buggy! Under his hand. More precisely, what is left of it. Get it, please.”

Buggy reached into the sarcophagus and suddenly fell into it.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?!” Catherine whispered with worry in her voice.

“Yeah. Shit, this thing stinks. Is that what you asked for?” He showed the scarab in his hand.

“Yeah!” She squealed. “Wait. Why didn't you use your chop chop thing?” 

Buggy looked at her, not knowing what to answer.

“Idiot and hero! But you smell like mummy now.” Catherine quickly kissed him on the cheek and helped him out. “Oh my God, I'm robbing graves.” She shook her head.

“You’ll have mental suffering later. What's next?” Buggy dusted his hands off.

Catherine placed the scarab on the drawing and quickly took out her notebook. “Okay. Now you just have to swipe it right three times and left four times and then press it.”

Buggy put his hands on the scarab and, at Catherine's command, rotated it in the right directions.

“And now what?” He asked at glanced at her.

The scarab's wings glowed a light turquoise color, and a narrow passage opened into a small corridor.

“Baby, if we find the second part of the scepter there now, I will buy the most expensive bottle of wine for you today.” Buggy rubbed his hands.

They entered the corridor and looked around.

“Look!!” She pointed to the drawing. “This is an allusion to the scales of Osiris. The transition to another world consisted of two parts. During the first part was when the soul stood between 42 judges. Here they are!” She patted Buggy on the shoulder and pointed to the drawings. “The second part was weighing the heart. Here is the drawing!” Catherine started jumping and kicking her legs. “The heart was weighed against the feather. If the heart was found to be heavier than the feather, it was fed to Ammut, a beast associated with the time of judgment. If the scales were balanced, the deceased had passed the test and was taken before Osiris, who welcomed them into the afterlife.” 

“Cathie-pie, I love your lectures about Ancient Egypt, but how will this help us find the scepter?”

“Look! There are stones in the shape of a feather and a heart. And here is something similar to a scale. Buggy! I need your help again. Take the heart-shaped stone and put it on the left bowl, and the feather-shaped stone on the right.” 

Buggy took the stones and put them where Catherine pointed.

“So, what is next?” He looked at her questioningly. 

“I don’t know.. Oh, wait, there’s an inscription here! Wait… King.. Die.. Setting sun. Wait! Listen!

The king did not die,  He became the one who rises like the morning sun on the horizon.  He rests from life like the setting sun in the west, but he will rise again in the east.  O, king, you did not leave dead, you left alive!  Did you say he would die? No, he won't die.  This king lives forever. He escaped the day of his death.  O, high among the eternal stars! You will never die.”

As soon as Catherine finished reading the poem, the scales tipped towards the heart-shaped stone.

“Fuck!” Catherine sat down on the floor and buried her face in her knees. 

“What happened?” Buggy asked with incomprehension in his voice.

“I don't know. If it's like a myth, I think...” Catherine mumbled in her knees. 

“Um, cotton candy. Look!” Buggy lightly tapped her head with his finger. “Is it supposed to happen like this?”

Catherine raised her head. They saw the scales swung in the opposite direction and the heart appeared on the same level with the feather.

“It can't be! If this is all for real this means that Unis's soul had passed the test!” Catherine grabbed her head.

At that moment, the stones in the wall moved. Catherine jumped up and ran towards them. She reached into the opened space.

“Fuck, you see that?” She felt Buggy looking over her shoulder.

“Cotton candy, I think, we're having a party tonight!”

[jaydenknight]

ZP characters & their animal companions in my au:

Tom: Dire - Wolf dog

Mackenzie: Huzzy - Kitten (canon)

Gustav: Hera - Rainbow boa

Christine: Pacaya - Hermit crab

Cameron: Frederick - Betta fish

Xinith: Jazz - Ferret

Annie: Kipzie - Cyborg cat (canon)

Carrie: Brutis - Horse (canon)

Elijah: Stanley - Mouse

Ink: Quill - Rabbit

Kestrel: Bluebell - Giant blue jay (canon)

Zimmer: Olive - Rat

Serissa (my OC): Junior - Finch

[dalennaugw]

Reading the play-by-play of 2023's WOTYs was very entertaining. Yes I stuck my linguist salad in Ben Zimmer's position I couldn't not.

(Do I tag the OP? I don't really know that I want OP to see my goofy OC doodles. But I want to link back to them so people can see the thread behind these without shadowbanning this post or whatever the hell it is Tumblr does.

@kwekstra don't look here this is just for other people to find you. Thanks.)

[n0rara]

Hi Zimm!

[manyfandomocs]

Ever After High OC Masterlist

Name: Cressida Peters (Daughter of The Witch)

Fic: Last Midnight

Love Interest: Daring Charming

FC: Mia Goth

Name: Diana Huntsman (Daughter of The Huntsman)

Fic: Bring Me Your Heart

Love Interest: Raven Queen

FC: Fivel Stewart

Name: Dorothea Hook (Daughter of Captain Hook)

Fic: Take A Bite

Love Interest: Apple White

FC: Olivia Cooke

Name: Lucinda Silberhaus (Daughter of Clara)

Fic: Waltz of the Snowflakes

Love Interest: Hopper Croakington II

FC: Thomasin McKenzie

Name: Marina Nielsen (Daughter of The Sea Witch)

Fic: Fathoms Below

Love Interest: Faybell Thorn

FC: Diana Silvers

Name: Melora Zimmer (Daughter of The Princess)

Fic: A True Princess

Love Interest: Dexter Charming & Raven Queen

FC: Hannah Dodd

Name: Nicholas Darling (Son of Wendy Darling)

Fic: Think Of A Wonderful Thought

Love Interest: Hunter Huntsman or Alistar Wonderland

FC: Matt Cornett

Name: Orsel Pendragon (Daughter of King Arthur)

Fic: Hollow All Delight

Love Interest: Chase Redford or Faybelle Thorn

FC: Kristine Froseth

Name: Petra Scrooge (Daughter of Ebenezer Scrooge)

Fic: Bah Humbug

Love Interest: Raven Queen

FC: Mikey Madison

Name: Sadhana Diyab (Daughter of Ali Baba)

Fic: Den of Thieves

Love Interest: Sparrow Hood

FC: May Calamway

Name: Sandra Voigt (Daughter of Gerda and Kai)

Fic: Eternal Winter

Love Interest: Maybe Lizzie Hearts

FC: Olivia Scott Welch

Name: Teddy Pendragon (Son of King Arthur)

Fic: Hollow All Delight

Love Interest: Dexter Charming

FC: Daniel Sharman

Name: Zelda Dagmar (Destined Maid Marian)

Fic: Love Goes On

Love Interest: Darling Charming

FC: Talia Ryder