#oc posting always i fear
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Ty coffee dear for posting the template ><
@asgardiancoffemaker go follow them asap
3 of these being Elara... I don't wanna talk about it
#artists on tumblr#art recap#oc: Elara of Munster#oc: McKenzie Mayberry#oc: melinoë#american mcgee's alice#ashe overwatch#vtmb#oc: Haru#oc posting always i fear#oc: Daphne (Courier 6)
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— MUSIC/WIP DAY
Currently feral over this cover for Imogen x Bix
Darling, we both know
That the nights are mainly made for
Saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
Crawling back to you
Ever thought of calling when you had a few?
'Cause I always do
Maybe l'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new
and for the WIP I’ve been plotting out more of a s2 arc I’ve had planned for Imogen when Luthen decides it’s time to take her off the chess board because she’s too unpredictable. Bix takes it upon herself with Cassian’s help to find Imogen and make sure she survived.
Frantically, Bix burst through the medcenter with Cassian on her heels and headed straight for the first desk she saw. A blue-skinned Pantoran nurse looked up and opened his mouth to greet their arrival, but the mechanic cut him off.
“I’m looking for a human woman who was involved in a possible crash, she would have been admitted two or three days ago.”
He sat straighter and his golden eyes studied them both suspiciously. “And are you immediate family?”
“Can you just tell me if she’s here or not?” Bix pressed impatiently. “Pale skin, brown hair, early thirties–”
“We can only disclose information on our patients to immediate family, miss.”
“She’s my wife, is that good enough for you?”
Bix practically felt the air beside her shift where Cassian stood. The ease with which she declared Imogen to be her wife would have surprised her as well if she had the time to consider the words that came out of her mouth, but she was desperate at that point. Bix would have said anything just to know if Imogen were alive. At the back of her mind, though, she realized she didn’t exactly hate the way it sounded.
“Very well,” the nurse said and raised his datapad. “And this man here? Is he family?”
“He’s my brother,” Bix answered curtly.
The tension only increased as Cassian turned away, no doubt to hide his appalled expression and stifle a scoff. The uncomfortable silence dragged on as the Pantoran leisurely tapped away on his datapad, having less than a fraction of the urgency bursting through Bix’s chest.
“It seems we do have an unidentified human woman under our care that fits your description. If you would kindly follow me, I will take you to her,” the nurse said.
His emphasis on kindly forced Bix to keep her more unruly emotions in check with the staff from there on. She feared they may turn her away before she could even set eyes on Imogen if her impatience pushed them too far.
As they travelled through the sterile hallways, bypassing nurses and doctors and patients of all species, Cassian sidled up beside her and leaned in to whisper “Brother?” as if the word were the most offensive thing she could ever possibly call him.
Under different circumstances, Bix would have found it amusing how much that bothered him.
“Only immediate family,” she replied under her breath. What was she supposed to say? She doubted that ex-boyfriend she could never seem to shake would make the cut. And Cassian certainly would never pass as Imogen’s brother, either. “You’re welcome to wait outside.”
He begrudgingly continued on without further protest.
They were led to a secluded room where a medical droid busied itself with maintaining the various apparatuses keeping Imogen alive. The scene shocked Bix down to her core.
Imogen was black and blue and bandages covered the more grizzly injuries, but she saw the surface level cuts that marred her exposed skin from shrapnel. A few areas were burned, but luckily nowhere near the charred flesh Bix feared she would see. Once they confirmed the identity of his patient, Bix heard the nurse inform her that Imogen had just returned from a bacta treatment the previous night and directed the medical droid to fill them in on the rest of the diagnosis so that he could return to his post.
Each notable injury that the medical droid listed with its monotone, robotic voice caused nausea to twist in Bix’s gut and creep up her throat. Broken leg, ribs and vertebrae. Collapsed lung. Substantial blood loss. Head trauma. And an induced coma that they could not definitively say she would wake up from despite the promising response her body had to treatment.
Bix gripped the edge of the bed that Imogen lay in to steady herself as she stared at her lover’s bruised face and the tube feeding oxygen directly into her damaged lungs. Bix had never seen the bounty hunter look anything less than pristine. Imogen would hate to be perceived the way she is now, Bix knew. But she couldn’t look away – couldn’t stop the sickness from reaching her thoughts and whispering that the woman she loved may never wake up.
After the droid rolled out of the room, silence fell on them.
“This is his doing, you know,” Bix said with barely contained venom. Not that she ever fully trusted Luthen or was shocked, but rage replaced the desperation in her veins.
“What do you want me to say?” Cassian asked impatiently. He knew who was responsible, too. There were no doubts, it had Luthen written all over it. “That I can’t believe he would do something like this? That she doesn’t deserve it?”
Bix shut her eyes tightly until she was able to swallow the lump in her throat. “I can’t lose her.”
“Have you considered you might be better off?”
For a moment, her rage became directed at Cassian. She wanted to turn around and strike him right across the face as hard as she could for suggesting such a thing — for his lack of empathy in what Imogen meant to her.
“I’m not stupid,” she snapped. “I know what she is, Cass.”
“I never thought you didn’t. I just don’t understand it.”
“And I don’t know how else to explain it to you. I can barely justify it to myself. She just…” Bix trailed off, still staring at the injured unconscious woman before them with an unbearable ache in her chest. “She sees me.”
“I see you.”
“No, you don’t,” Bix said bitterly. Then she took a deep breath and shook her head. The last thing she needed was to get into a screaming match with Cassian over this. Her energy was limited and Imogen would be more vulnerable than ever. Bix needed to keep her senses sharp and focused. And perhaps Cassian didn’t deserve the full brunt of her ire. Not for what happened to Imogen, at least. “There was a time I really thought you did. Well, I wanted to believe you did.”
“How can you say that?” He moved in closer to her and she flinched away, causing his steps to falter. “The moment I arrived on Ferrix, I saw you. I saw only you.”
“You noticed me,” Bix corrected with a forced calm. “But you didn’t see me, not really. Not like she does. I had no clue just how alone I was until she came along.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?”
Bix finally turned to face him. All of her anger seemed to fade when she saw the hurt confusion on his face. For all of his faults, Cassian truly did not understand, and she couldn’t fully blame him for that. She couldn’t forgive him, either. She didn’t want to. But it was too exhausting to keep blaming him for something beyond his comprehension. Especially when her efforts were better spent on what mattered most to her now.
“You’ve always been liquid, Cassian. Just when I thought that maybe I had you — really had you, you’d wash away again. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad, you’ve always had your own crusade and that’s fine. But Imogen is…” as if pulled by an unseen perpetual cord, Bix found her gaze drawn towards her lover again, “solid ground, as crazy as that sounds. With her, I feel steady for the first time in my life. Without her, it’s like I’m free-falling.”
Cassian threw a thoughtful look over at the broken bounty hunter on the medical bed as well. After a long moment, he finally pursed his lips with a resigned nod. “I hope you don’t land too hard, then,” he said quietly.
“Don’t tell Luthen. I’m sure if he doesn’t already know she’s alive, he will soon, but he doesn’t need help finding out.”
“I can’t promise anything,” Cassian said, stepping away.
“You know,” Bix said as he brushed past her, “if your roles were reversed, she’d protect you.”
That stopped him short and he spun on his heel just enough to fix her with possibly the most exasperated expression he ever had, which was saying something.
Bix rolled her eyes — nearly feeling the urge to scoff at the admitted absurdity of her statement — but set her hands on her hips and conceded. “I’d have to ask very, very nicely. But she’d do it.”
“Are you going to ask me very nicely?” Cassian said with a slight influx in his tone and a knowing smirk. His dark eyes twinkled with that look he used to give her when they were teenagers and he needed to convince her to get into some trouble.
Fortunately for Bix, she had built up an immunity to that look. “I’m gonna ask you,” she answered flatly.
He lingered by the door, shifting hesitantly on either foot. Then he nodded. “He won’t hear anything about this from me.”
tag list (ask to be added or removed!): @socially-awkward-skeleton @neonshrike @inafieldofdaisies @voidika @faithchel @adelaidedrubman @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @buggknife @aceghosts @carlosoliveiraa @risingsh0t @unholymilf @thedeadthree @cassietrn @jackiesarch @d-esmond @loriane-elmuerto @shellibisshe @katsigian @captastra @simplegenius042 @theelderhazelnut @g0dspeeed @strangefable @statichvm @jacobseed @cptcassian @auricfog @confidentandgood @raresvtm @minaharkers @elligatorrex
#oc insp: imogen kol#ship insp: if i had a heart#bix caleen#anyway time to post this I guess 💀#I finally got my trailer so I’m proper deranged#I’m sorry it’s only gonna get worse. yeah it’s terminal I fear.#love putting cass in an awkward af position with these two#but I also think it’s really interesting to explore. ya know there’s love there between Bix and Cass and there always will be#but it’s changed because of time. circumstance. priorities. war criminal girlfriend. etc.#they’ll always look out for each other even when they have a hard time doing it. it’s the Ferrix way.
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Throws this at you and runs
Bonus stufffff
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Yeah guys look at all my doodles!!!!!
@cult-rangoons :3
#spoofarts#ocs#so like the support on my previous post encouraged me to share my personal drawings ^^#i have lots to talk about on this one guys you dont even KNOOOWW#stick figure#first image includes my beloved friend's OC Albert ^^ i love him sm you guys like oh my gosh- i wanna hold his hands and look into his eyes#forever Uh anyway yeah him and spoof are best friends ^^ the bestest of friends theyre always together everywhere they go!!!!#they do that cartoony thing where they hug eachother in fear when theyre scared#i adore them to astronomical degrees ive sobbed over albert multiple times man#other sketchessss hehehe im heavily influenced by a certain artist!!#i dont wanna put it in the tags tho to avoid flooding but ill say it in the comments ^^ pls go take a gander at their art they literally#inspire me so muhuchh#you might even recognize some poses from them that i referenced hehe as i said before these were personal sketches!#i have a stick figure oc :3 name of Lyra! say congrats rn!!!!! shes an ex-princess because she wanted to fight people for fun! i love the#stickfigure community sm.. love themmall gildedguy versus oxob was so awesome#oh and a random renard i drew for all those hungry lapfox enjoyers out there#lapfox fanart#love yall :3#i enjoy drawing spoof eith her mouth open alot !!! its kinda hard given her head shape (im studying some stuff to fix it)#but her jaw is very fun to draw!! she is massive compared to human proportions (shes stil short tho ) she can stick a humans head in her#mouth with some wiggle room! she is a threat!!!!!!!#anyway im done enjoy the snacks ^^#lapfox trax
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Dukes, we have a problem
July 5 vs Feb 3
Just found out, that I made similar pose (ಠ_ಠ)
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I runnin out of ideas tbh, feels like I don't have much to say and always repetitive (' - -)
#sketch#traditional art#oc art#I am pretty blinkered person always locked in my thoughts so it's really hard to me to express everything 'right'#runnin through my sketches and everything is the same from pose to metaphor#one more fear to get out of my comfort zone#that story with block#I mean y'all verrry supportive and nothing I draw is 'special' bit still#I have two main things rn that are 'stand out' but not gonna post it here ig#vent
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making a fankid but shaking my head the entire time so people know i'm against the societal belief that everyone's goal and only purpose in life should be to have kids and form a family
#i snapped and made a rock kandi fankid#she was meant to be a one off design to cheer me up and give me something to do#but i made her too cute. now im attached#her name is lacey :) princess lacey at that#idk what im going to do to be able to fit her in my thing. rock kandi or just a kirby kid in general was Never meant to be a thing#that guy's an adult in my oc timeline. and he does fuck all all day as he always has. it's a part of his bit that he's not anyone important#outside of being the hero of popstar of course. he's not a knight or a king/prince. he's not even an adventurer. he likes his planet#and wouldn't want to be too far from it so the idea of being an explorer doesn't appeal to him.#at the end of every adventure he always returns to popstar because popstar's his home#he likes just being a normal guy who just saves the world from time to time. he likes fishing and eating and sleeping#and making friends and juggling children. it's just what he does all day. he loves it.#he's always been happy with simplicity and living in the moment no matter how boring that moment is#and i fear that this would accidentally lent itself to a like. kind of a deadbeat dad?? or take away too much of his carefree bum-ness#technically this is ribbon's and fluff's spawn since kirby can't have kids. so maybe i'll just make the world's first kirbyless rock kandi#whatever you'd call that. Fluffbon?#they all live in different places so i always figured it'd be kind of impossible for it too work out in the long run??#or it wouldn't be That serious. not serious enough for a lacey#which is why i didn't make it canon to my AU and shit and only enjoy it at a distance slash in like a vacuum#so I don't knowww i don't knowww but i'll figure it out i guess#text post
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sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.
#god i really really don’t want to do this. but i have to but i don’t want to but i have to but i don’t want to. and so on. you get the gist#though i guess i am more not wanting to let go of an idea or fantasy rather than reality#like i always wanted to be an active participant in fun oc art fandom writing etc etc communities#but all i really did was make way too many people uncomfortable with my worthless stuff.#like it and me are just not built for interacting with people lmao. especially when it comes to stuff like my characters or uh.#i don’t know you can’t call it art or writing just uh. creations i guess.#and like i knew that before i made this blog but then people started interacting with me and i thought hey maybe this’ll work out maybe i#can be better and then i so wasn’t. and for that i am very sorry.#(and i mean this is not the main reason why i feel like i have to do this but i can’t just go back like nothing happened on here lmao.#i deleted 90% of my shana posts i had/am having a crashout i gotta at least follow through after being so embarrassing#after being even more insufferable than usual haha. and if i stayed there would be even more people who feel obligated to stay around#i feel. and i so don’t want that. so just one more reason why i gotta be brave and just fucking do it.)#also i do realise that there’s the possibility of not deactivating and just logging off and leaving but every time i took a break like that#i always like felt a bit ‘better’/delusional & thought it’d be ok to return. sure that’ll happen again.which is why i have to be so drastic#like even if i made a new blog i know myself well enough to know that i’ll be too embarrassed to reach out to anyone again.#so it would really be a working solution to this problem. i really should just do it.#romeo’s wretched rambles#also a message to everyone telling me that they like shana and that he’s not a shit character to obsess over & more importantly share#with folks: appreciate the sentiment but there’s a lot of his evil you don’t know about.#i was implying some stuff here and there and some people i’ve told more privately but even they are missing like 25% of the shana.#those being the absolute worst parts of him. i am still absolutely obsessed with him but that’s my error to fix and i can’t subject#people to that anymore in good conscience. seeing people say they like him actively feels like i’m pulling a shana myself and deceiving#people with lies of omission sometimes. remember that lol. obviously ik that there r big differences but sometimes it just feels awful stil#so maybe he’s better contained in a separate private blog that i can torch once i get over this rot and just be done with this fucking char#again i don’t mean to say that i don’t appreciate the support but i’m sure many of your guys’ opinions would change If You Knew. you know.#(god. with the lies of omission thing. every day i learn more abt how i subconsciously write things that make me deeply uncomfortable lol)#(and that i fear. like. that wasn’t even intentional when i gave him that trait. i just realised that while typing this pointless mess lmao#anyways. thanks for readin if you made it this far. send me anon hate or something. hit me with an anvil and spit on my corpse if you will#i hope that at least by the end of this week i will have put my brave pants on and decided on what to do. sorry for being so annoying.
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Thanks to @sugarcream-sims for these questions :)
Sam's parents are supportive of him. His family moved to Tomarang specifically for his father’s work, so Sam didn’t see him much. Sam doesn’t blame his dad for this though, since it allowed for their family to live comfortably. If asked, he would describe his relationship with his parents as "alright".
Sam and Roy both slacked off during school, especially if they ended up in the same class. The difference between the two is that if Sam had bad grades at the end of the semester he’d pull through and focus for the last few weeks…whereas Roy would just accept his grades as they were.
at that point Sam would usually separate himself so he could actually do his work
The closest thing they’ve had to fighting over a girl would be in their late teens when they both “dated” the same “girl” online for about a month. (They both got catfished by the same guy.)
They had a pretty big fight in what would have been their junior year of high school where they didn’t talk for a few months, but eventually Roy decided that being friends with Sam again was worth more than keeping a grudge. Sam felt the same way.
#I do not condone beating your kids#I promise#Anyways Roy was definitely more of a “could have applied himself” kid#Both of them really#Sam just feared the sandal more than Roy#Sam's Mom and Roy's Mom are good friends actually#They would have lunch together while the boys ran around#I always see them at the same venues in the save#anyways I had fun writing these down#Always feel free to ask questions I'm dying to share#and to those who see these tags...new seasick post out tomorrow! It's a fun one#seasick questions#seasickextras#my art#yapping#oc info#ratasks
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If Levi is alive, would Ingrid help him learns to play the piano whether he stop by travelling from escaping the horrors??
Unfortunately Levi and every other termina contestant except for Daan and Karin are dead in the Au/scenario Ingrid comes from, they were the sole survivors of termina and stuck around each other afterwards. You can read about that mess here in care you haven't seen the work this fankid originated from.
But to answer your question, honestly? If the two of them meet i think they'd get along pretty well, they're both a little awkward and coming from messy homes maybe they could vent to one another and stuff. Ingrid would be super excited to teach him how to play because she loves the piano a lot, tho refrains from going on long rambles about the instrument out of thinking people would just get bored ("Oh.. Silly me, you're here to listen to the music, not my voice..")
So if Levi asked her to teach him more about it there is no universe in which she'd say no, haha
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#sorry for taking a while to reply i got pretty sick this week#also did you find this kid through the fic or just?? randomly on tumblr?#Ingrid's post still gets likes and i always assume it's from the fic since it's linked there#to think someone randomly found her is kinda wild to me. especially since I don't post much about funger anymore#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#termina oc#fear and hunger oc#fankid#fear and hunger Levi#Ingrid Elise#hyena ramblings#hyena scribbles
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Now that I have better understanding of Ferrus as a character, I am kinda happy with giving him someone as Argus. Also I am relieved I did not make Ferrus too much of caricature of his true portrayal.
Basically Argus portrayals fit Canon portrayal of Ferrus so well, I want to pat myself on the shoulder.
#Post#warhmmer 40k#Ferrus manus#primarch children#oc: argus manus#I mean i always fear that ocs i add to estamblished franchises will make characters in those feel out of character#But argus perfectly mashes with canon ferrus so i am quite happy i did not need to completely rewrite ferrus in my own way and i stuck to#Canon pretty accurately
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kurtz/wilard 🤝 mox/yuta
#maybe it was dropping acid#wwtching wrestling then apoc now#but like yuta and wilard could go to ptsd group therapy together#and mox is basically running his own army thats feared by everyone ans talking in riddles#yuta and wilard would be friends but moc snd kurtz would hate each other#this is a very niche post#just for me#death riders#apocalypse now#y3ah im putting it innthe tags baby i wanna see if anyone else out there sees my vision#claudio is kilgore by the way#NO wait claudio is colby#marina is kilgore#pac is the army population of kurtz#oc is chief. chuckie t is chef. trent? as clean (i know i know but clean is always busting wilards balls). and...#stats as lance bc they are both fair out lol
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woahhh catie!!!! i love your ocs! esp your blorbo the red/white one what's their name? what's their backstory?? they seem very mischievous very punk rock i love it!
Anon tysm!!!! And ty for the ask, I drew some more of her for you :D
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Her name is Eclipse! She was disowned from a prominent family(in my AU) and thus became a freelance assasssin. Most importantly though, she is in a friends-enemies-lovers codependent relationship with my other oc, Noir:
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Eclipse is very mischievous! She is very prickly and defensive but once you get to know her, she is truly just a menace to society and a total gremlin. She just finds it hard to interact with most people. Even if her and Noir have a very tumultous, at times toxic, relationship, Noir is the only who sees her and treats her for who she truly is. They are this post: (x)
#i have to mention Noir when talking about Eclipse because they are just intertwined#though its kinda funny bcs when i created Noir she was supposed to just be some other random oc's partner#and now she is very important and in blissful codependency with Eclipse#Eclipse is basically just my whump character ig??? every time that character doc gets opened i fear for her#oh also!! shes normally supposed to wear a mask but ive gotten more into drawing her face lately bcs she is very cute#she is blind in one eye and that half of her face is scarred because of...reasons.#i think shes my fav character to draw. i like sketching the others but she prob has the most finished stuff#its also weird now to think about how she was created six years ago....time really flies wow#but hehehe i like that drawing of her i just drew!! i always draw her in my clothes bcs she is peak blorbo <3#and oh yeah i said it in my other drawing post but Noir is the Napoleon character#i have a seperate au in that era bcs of her hehe#basically shes French and I like Napoleon so I drew her as Napoleon and now she sometimes is: Noirpoleon(SO PROUD Of THAT ONE NGL)#catie.asks.#catie.art#catie.rambling.txt
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Day 22: "Comfort"! Once again, this was a prompt I got from a friend for friend week, since I can't do collabs or trades.
Ai loves absolutely nothing more than getting to dig and roll around in the snow, the comfiest naps are always under a big pile of it.
#oc tober#inktober#bweirdoctober#creature design#dnd oc#dnd#recall draws#my ocs#fandom posting#zheng ai#he lived underground in the mountains for most of his life and his patron is a fey of the winter court. he likes it cold#the sun is his mortal enemy#espc considering the fire trauma and instinctual fear of heat but also he just likes the snow haha <3#every time its winter in the rp room i have him in he always makes at least One big tunnel in the snow to hang out in
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i need you all to know that the main reason (besides a general hunger for attention) niles even accepts aldori’s call is because he got caught stealing his student’s work and passing it off as his own and his reputation as a teacher was obviously ruined. lmao
#when i say that niles is the most envious creature i mean it#he’s watched a good handful of them become more successful with their music than he ever would be and felt that since he was basically the#reason for the success (not really. not like it’s everything it’s mostly luck but you have no real passion for this lol)#it would be fine if he had a piece of the cake too with future students. not like he immediately came to this conclusion#and felt not torn and no guilt over it.#took a while to rationalise it and all.#the envy and feelings of inadequacy and a desire for approval and fame just won over after a time#it’s not like he believes he’s better than them he just wants people’s eyes and attention on him so unbelievably bad that’s what he believes#he deserves#and at some point(s) he feels so small that he will do shit like this. he would fake having a terminal illness too lol#he’s just a loser. niles’ story is supposed to be a horror comedy style thing and the majority of the comedy comes from that fact lol#oc: niles#honestly? can relate on the parts of being a loser who is only ever mediocre at something creative they do.#for me i don’t think it’s for the same reasons as niles especially don’t care about fame or shit like that lol#and i obviously don’t steal shit even if my ocd tells me the exact opposite so much#that i actually hesitated to post this because i thought people would assume that i steal too because he’s my character#and your ocs always have a part of yourself in them and what if people found out that i was stealing i just didn’t know and. hi.#can you tell that i’m a fear based writer. i write about my fears. hi#anyways. and then kingmaker and fae mpreg happens. yay
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being an editor means every five seconds going oh my god that would work so well with an oc. and then remembering I have three pictures of said oc and almost none of them fit this song
#said song is “this is the happiness and peace of mind committee” and said oc is hong by the way#I again. don't have a post about him. so like brief rundown; his entire thing is dying. a lot.#not in like a deadpool way either I mean like.#“immortal who keeps trying to integrate into civil society and always ends up dead within a few years. usually murdered. usually brutally”#cw immortality#cw murder#oc things#saying stuff#hong. never stopped trying by the way. he really thought it'd go better this time. that humans would understand he truly means well.#mans fear of the unknown and mans hatred of his own fear. the vicious cycle or something#love hong. got to talk about him more.
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hi everyone this is klaus a new addition to my already too long list of characters. kind of. i made his first design 5 ish years ago and he has had renditions since then but he is very different every time
he’s a detective from the surface who originally came down on a particular case and ended up just staying because there’s a lot of money to be made in safehaven. if there’s ever a real story for these characters he’ll be mostly comic relief he just shows up and gets in everyone’s way every once in a while
he also has ice powers. yay
#he probably ends up working for avidor#since avidor’s the one who wants to create real government and laws for the city#some of you may look at him and say hmm. icewing vibes. do not fear. it is on purpose#always hesitant to add new characters to this world now that i post them#idk it feels like a wrong thing to do#gg draws#gg’s ocs#oc: klaus#my toys
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what if I just, out of nowhere, posted the most unhinged thing I've ever written, on AO3
part of me wants to, but part of me is convinced the entire world will think I'm weird and shun me for an eternity LMAO (even tho I know for a fact there are WAY more messed up fics out there that people as a whole seem to like)
also hello, long time no speak lmao
#writing#input appreciated#i've contemplated some of my options for this... making an entirely separate account for the REALLY 'wild' stuff seems so...#inefficient (cuz then I have to wait for an invite etc etc) but it's definitely an option...#and orphaning it immediately also is weird because that means it exists FOREVER and I have no control over that lmao#means eternal cringe instead of just deciding “hey I hate this” and quietly deleting it like I have previous things#and also if people actually DO validate me and like it (despite the weirdness)... I wanna be able to say “oh whew okay I feel valid”#and I can't... do that on an orphaned work really lol#i am constantly at conflict with myself because I want to just write and not care and also ACTUALLY share stuff#but I'm soooo paranoid about how I'm perceived or will be perceived it holds me back 24/7#I want to write OC stuff but am convinced no one will read/care for it#I want to write weirder ideas but am afraid people will think I'm *too* weird and avoid me forever#tl;dr: fear/anxiety is holding me back for the 500000000000th time and I hate it fellas fr :/#will always envy fanfic authors who post unhinged/insane fanfics and don't seem to be bothered whatsoever by it
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