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whumperscorner · 3 years ago

Note

Hello! I've just discovered your whumpy FFXV fanfics and oh my gosh I absolutely adore your writing and ideas! I love a whumpy Prompto story! I've looked over the whump bingo and I think Prompto and "Strapped to a bomb" would be a really interesting/whumpy story! Of course please don't feel pressured to write this if you don't want to and I'm so sorry if this comes across as rude. I hope you have a lovely day!

Ah thank you anon! Don’t worry it definitely doesn’t come off as rude :3 I’m really happy you’ve enjoyed my writing!

Decided to try someone kinda new with this, going with Cor’s pov for the first time, so hopefully that will still be somewhat enjoyable eheh

BTHB #6- Strapped to a Bomb

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV

Characters: Prompto Argentum, Cor Leonis, Nyx Ulric (a little bit)

Whumpee: Prompto Argentum

Word count: 2568

Warnings: none

This work can also be found on ao3 :3

Cor lets his eyes finish skimming through the document in his hand. Then he throws it onto his desk along with all the other documents he’s read through and sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s been a very long, very uneventful day. Glancing at his watch, Cor is relieved to find there’s now only a little over an hour until he can leave. Though of course then he has to make his way through the traffic of the streets surrounding the Citadel, which is always a nightmare at this time of day. Now with the furrow between his brows made even deeper than usual, Cor returns to the paperwork. He’s moving on to what he thinks should be the last document in the pile when heavy breathing and rushed footsteps sound through the otherwise empty corridor.

"Marshal-"

"What." Cor's voice is tinged with irritation. This better be damn important for someone to barge in right at the tail end of his workday.

"You’ve been summoned at the entrance," says the breathless recruit. "it’s something about your son."

It doesn’t even take a full second for Cor to react and be up on his feet. He grabs his jacket and phone and hurries out of the office along with the recruit. Not that it’s out of the ordinary for Prompto to come to the Citadel, whether it’s Cor he’s coming to see or Prince Noctis whenever he’s around. Normally he would just let himself in though, and that along with the frantic look on the recruit’s face - no, something has to be wrong.

"What’s the situation?" Cor asks, not bothering to look back and just assuming the recruit is following him as he strides down the hall.

"I don’t know, I was just told to get a hold of you quickly." Comes the answer from behind. Cor almost has time to get annoyed at the lack of information, but the recruit keeps going. "Glaive Ulric and Glaive Altius are there already, and when I left they'd started working to evacuate employees outside of the Glaive."

Cor curses under his breath. Evacuation of the other employees? He trusts Nyx and Crowe enough to make that call, but since they have it has to be something serious. Cor enters the elevator and taps his foot impatiently on the floor, infuriated by how slow the descent is seemingly going. His mind races through all the different possibilities for what could be going on, and how Prompto could be involved in it.

The familiar dingand the sound of elevator doors opening cannot come soon enough, and the second it does he's on the move again. It takes him almost no time at all, though still too long in Cor's mind, to make his way to the doors at the main entrance. From the vantage point there he can already see parts of what's going on. Further down the staircase are multiple glaives already at work. Cor recognises Crowe where she stands at the side, gesturing to the people around and obviously in the midst of the evacuation work. He spares a short moment to send the recruit, who is still following behind him, over in her direction with orders to assist in the evacuation work. Then he sees Nyx, standing a bit further down, and then finally he sees a familiar tuft of blond hair. Prompto is talking to Nyx. Cor can't hear what they're saying as he makes his way towards them, but he can tell from meters away that something is wrong with Prompto. It's the way he's holding himself, tense and unnaturally stiff in his movements.

When Cor is close enough, he sees Prompto’s eyes widen, and his mouth opens in a silent plea. Cor lets his own expression soften some and sends him a reassuring nod. It’s at least intended as one, but he’s not sure it helps. Prompto still looks so very scared, and it pricks Cor’s heart painfully. He's about to turn to Nyx, to demand an explanation as to what's going on, but his attention is caught by something else. Peeking through behind the half-open zipper on Prompto's hoodie is some foreign object.

"Open your hoodie Prom, let me see that." Cor says. His mouth feels too dry all of a sudden, but he keeps his voice low and calm despite it. Prompto shifts uneasily but complies. With two shaky hands he fumbles a bit with the zipper, eventually getting it up. What reveals itself is a jumbled mess of wires and various cylindrical objects in black and grey, all fastened together with tape and zip-ties, strapped around Prompto's stomach like a horrid belt. It's most definitely home made, but there's no mistaking it. Cor recognizes explosives when he sees them.

"The hell-" Cor hisses. Though he immediately regrets that and cuts himself off when Prompto shrinks in on himself as if the curse is directed at him. Worry and disbelief swirl around in Cor's stomach. He turns his head to Nyx so fast his neck nearly twists. "What's going on here?"

The look on Nyx's face mirrors Cor's own emotions, and the crease to his brows deepens as he answers in a hushed voice. "Crowe and I found him standing here just earlier, says someone put that," and he motions with his head towards the device. "on him and dropped him off here with orders to go inside. He didn't see their faces."

Now anger flares up in Cor along with all the other conflicting emotions. Someone had dared to put a godsdamn bomb on his son. Cor feels his body tense up, and his hands balling into tight fists. He wants his hands on them, to make them regret ever thinking they could touch Prompto. But that will have to wait, Cor knows it. The top priority has to be getting that thing off of Prompto safely. He bites back another curse by pressing his lips into a thin line and wills himself to loosen the fists, though the tension still lingers in them.

"Bomb squad?" He asks.

"Already called, should be here any minute." Comes Nyx's answer, and Cor nods. He'd rather they were there already, but pushes that thought aside, they'll just have to wait. He then turns his attention back to Prompto. His son's eyes are wide and fearful, darting in between Nyx and Cor. His hands clutch the ends of the hoodie hard but even then, Cor can see them trembling faintly. Now that nobody's talking anymore, he suddenly becomes aware of Prompto's breathing. How strained it is, coming in short, shallow gasps. As if he's trying not to breathe at all.

Now every part of Cor's body urges him to rush to Prompto's side. To reassure him and tell him that everything will be alright. He knows he can't do that but takes one calm step forwards regardless. "Prompto-"

"No!" Prompto gasps, jerking back a step and stumbling slightly. It catches Cor completely off guard, and he stops dead in his tracks. Lifting his hands in a placating manner.

"Wha-"

"Don't come closer, please." Prompto's voice is barely more than a whisper, but to Cor it seems he might as well have been shouting. "If- if it blows, I don't want to hurt you."

Cor feels like he's just been hit in the chest with something hard. This isn't how things are supposed to be. Prompto, his sunshine, should not have to be this scared- for himself or for Cor. Cor sucks in a sharp breath, and despite what his brain is screaming at him to do he takes a step back to where Nyx is standing. It takes considerable effort to keep his voice calm when Cor speaks up again. "Okay, okay. Prompto look at me," he urges, trying to hold his son's gaze intently with his own. "I'm going to be fine, and you're going to be fine. Do you understand?"

After another moment Prompto nods weakly, even as his eyes glaze over with unshed tears. Cor sighs, and wonders what on earth is taking the damn bomb squad so long. He's about to turn to Nyx with this same question when, as if on cue, Prompto's breath hitches and his eyes fixate on something over Cor's shoulder. He turns around and there, finally, he sees a group of about seven or so men and women prepped with armoured suits making their way down the staircase. It draws some stares and gasps from the few not in the Glaive who are still there, but thankfully the evacuation work has come so far that there aren't many around.

Cor lets his shoulders sag ever so slightly in relief as the woman who seems to be in charge of the group comes over to him and Nyx. They exchange a few words and what little information they have on the situation, and she nods in affirmation and begins her work. Ordering three of her people to secure the streets and immediate surroundings to the bottom of the staircase, and the rest to come with her as she movies calmly towards Prompto. Cor tries to send him another encouraging nod, but he looks possibly even more terrified than before. The wide, unsure eyes and trembling lips are not something Cor wants to see on his son's face ever again if he can avoid it.

"They," Prompto tries, but it comes out more a choked gasp than anything else, and he hurries to try again. "they said not to touch it." The words almost trip over themselves in the rush to get out, and Prompto sends Cor a pleading look. Almost desperate as members of the bomb squad are getting closer to him.

"These people know what they're doing, kid." Cor urges on, thankful that his voice carries such authority and doesn't betray any underlying worries. "Let them help. I promise it will all be fine." Anything else is out of the question, he thinks, but he doesn't say that. Instead opting to take on as soothing and confident an expression as possible.

Prompto nods again, but doesn't look any more convinced, letting slip a tiny whine when the approaching bomb technicians are close enough to touch. The woman orders the hoodie to be removed, and her associates make quick work of it. It's close to torture, Cor finds, having to stay where he is and only watch. Prompto stays stiff and unmoving as the hoodie is removed and thrown to the side, where Nyx goes to pick it up. In the clutter of people now around him, Prompto looks like a forlorn kitten, fixed to the ground and scared to move in any significant way.

"Timer?" asks the woman loudly.

"None ma'am." comes the answer.

At this the woman turns her attention back to Nyx and Cor. "We're sure it's timed?" She asks. "No chance it could be remote controlled?"

Cor opens his mouth to answer but to his great surprise, and the woman's too it seems, Prompto beats him to it. "It's timed," his voice shakes slightly as he speaks. "they said so when they dropped me off… f-fifty minutes." he stammers, then his voice dies down again.

A moment of stunned silence goes by, then the woman curses loudly. "You should have said so sooner!" She snaps. Cor sees how it makes Prompto shrink in on himself and hears his stuttered apologies. They need to figure out how much time they have left, and the last thing he wants is for Prompto to panic now. So he takes a careful step forward, intent on getting Prompto's attention away from the lady.

"Prompto look at me!" He implores loudly, cutting Prompto off in the midst of his train of apologies. "Just look at me. I need you to tell me how long you stood here before anyone arrived, can you do that?"

"I- 6 maybe 7 minutes, I think." He answers, swallowing hard. Cor nods at him again then hastily checks the time on his phone. It's been almost 30 minutes since he left his office, though to him it feels like much longer than that. Still, that doesn't leave them with much time, only a little under 20 minutes. Cor relays the information out loud, to which the woman nods and goes back to her work, not wasting another second on talking.

Through all this Prompto has been keeping his eyes locked on Cor, exactly as told. So Cor sees it the second he returns his attention to his son. That now with the working hands of multiple people back around his waist, and the knowledge of just how long he has left until an eventual untimely death- a little under 20 minutes, it's all too much. Cor can see it all swirling around in his head, can read it in his face. It's one of the effects of having cared for someone from when they were a small child, Cor knows his son, and he knows the breaking point is coming.

"Prompto," he begins softly, "keep your eyes focused on me, okay? Only on me, ignore anything else." Prompto nods, chokes out a sob, and lets the first few tears come. Cor sees them rolling down unhindered, and the wet streaks they leave on freckled skin. "It's okay," he hushes, barely even noticing that he's taken a few more steps towards Prompto. "you've been brave today. Now just let us fix the rest, okay? It'll be alright."

Cor keeps speaking softly like that for what somehow feels simultaneously like an eternity and no time at all. The tears are still running down Prompto's face, but he's managing to keep his attention mostly on Cor and not on the rest of the situation. It's working exactly how Cor was hoping it would. When, after some time, the bomb loosens from around Prompto's waist and movement surges all around it catches Prompto entirely off-guard. But not Cor. Cor rushes forward the second he sees that the explosives are removed and Prompto is being shoved away from them for the bomb squad to finish their work, and when Prompto stumbles Cor catches him. Relief floods through Cor's body like a breath of fresh air, and he wastes no time before dragging Prompto a few secure steps back. He's holding his son, and it's okay now.

Prompto cries for another while, not at all surprising given the rush and tension from the day, but he's at least safe. In a move uncharacteristically tender for Cor when they're anywhere other than the privacy of their home, he runs his hand through his son's soft hair and places a gentle kiss on his forehead. "You're okay Prom, you're okay."

The two are awarded some peace and quiet before Nyx comes to check on the two of them and provide them with the news that the bomb has been properly taken care of. When he does Cor gives him a grateful nod. He knows it's time for him to take Prompto home, but before that there's one last thing he needs to do.

"Make sure the security footage from today is thoroughly checked." Says Cor, his voice every bit as serious as the situation calls for. And now it's Nyx's turn to nod, knowing without needing to be told what he's on the lookout for. "I want them found and identified."

#whump #bthb #bad things happen bingo #rasko's bthb #final fantasy xv #strapped to a bomb #ffxv whump #prompto argentum whump #prompto argentum #cor leonis #papa cor #protective cor leonis #hurt/comfort #emotional whump #soft ending #my writing

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panharmonium · 4 years ago

Text

more rambling re: that last post (+ the merlin/will fic survey overview)

because i generally refrain from reading fic while i’m actively writing for a fandom, the only real ao3 reading i have done for merlin is my survey of the merlin/will ship tag. and the only reason i undertook that survey in the first place is because while i was doing an introductory cruise of the various merlin tags during my first exploration of the fandom (after i finally finished S5 and was able to start looking into fandom dynamics without fearing spoilers), i noticed that a LOT of the fic tagged with this ship was also tagged merlin/arthur, and despite the fact that i personally am more interested in gen stuff, i started to get both suspicious and annoyed about what i was seeing. but i also wanted to have the data to back up my annoyed feelings, so i made a little spreadsheet for myself and then just filled it in whenever i had time to kill and wanted something to do.

the data, when i eventually finished, backed up my annoyance pretty much as well as i expected, which was disappointing, but not surprising.

to clarify - i’m not annoyed by the fact that will and merlin don’t have a whole lot of material in their ship tag. will only showed up directly in one episode; i don’t expect him to be a popular subject. what i AM annoyed by is the fact that there are actually more merlin/arthur fics in the merlin/will tag than there are fics that actually focus on...merlin/will. by, like - an extreme margin.

(the rest of this is just me griping about fandom trends. popping it under a cut so folks can just move on with their days if this isn’t relevant to their interests.)

The Numbers

two quick notes before i get into the nitty-gritty:

1) i originally did this survey a few months ago, but i updated it this week with fics that have been added since then, so the numbers are current.

2) some of the data below would probably vary slightly depending on who was conducting the survey, so there’s a bit of wiggle room in either direction. the criteria i had to use [aka what counts as just a ship ‘mention’ vs actual content] would be subject to reader interpretation, obviously, but even with that, i do feel that most stories fell into pretty clear categories.)

so, without further ado -

total # of fics in the ship tag: 145

number of fics that are inappropriately tagged (meaning either will himself or merlin/will as a ship does not actually appear [which is kind of bizarre, but which i saw happen surprisingly frequently], OR where there is only a brief reference to will or past!merlin/will and that’s the extent of their inclusion: 50

number of fics that are duplicates of works already in the tag (ie podfic), or (in one case) a meta podcast about the show: 5

so, that brings down our total number of fics with some sort of actual merlin/will content to 90.

of these 90 works, only 17 of them are actually focused on merlin/will.

everything else in will’s ship tag, including the 54 works from the previously discussed "incorrectly tagged” category, is either a) fic where will is dumped, broken up with, or otherwise passed over in favor of arthur (and very occasionally gwaine, at least once mordred, once percival, once arthur and gwaine in a threesome, and once CENRED, which i’m sure will would be especially thrilled about), or b) fic where will is only included as a previous/ex relationship (again, almost always in lieu of arthur).

moreover - of the 17 actual merlin/will fics, 7 still end with will dying or the relationship ending for reasons other than him being passed over for arthur. an additional 4 are <1000 word PWP snippets, generally written for old LJ summer pornathons, one of which still somehow manages to be...you guessed it - all about arthur.

in terms of actual one-shots/full fics where merlin/will is the endgame/non-dead pairing, there are only 6 stories.

i repeat: will gets six earnest stories, IN HIS OWN SHIP TAG.

i repeat once again: will, in a non-dead, endgame form, gets 4% of his own ship tag.

The Content

the in-fic trends are frustrating, if you actually like this character.

the asshole. will is an abusive boyfriend. he is a jealous ex. he’s a shitty friend. he’s a stalker. he’s manipulative. he’s emotionally abusive. he’s physically abusive. he dumps merlin for someone else. he cheats. in one fic he’s so mad at merlin that he outs merlin’s magic to arthur. in multiple fics, i watched him literally go off the rails and try to murder somebody.

the fuckbuddy. they’re just messing around, guys! no, of course it’s not serious! they just do this for fun! of course there’s nothing to get in the way of arthur’s inevitable arrival! no sirree!

the unrequited. will is actually in it deep for merlin, but merlin doesn’t feel the same. this does not, however, prevent merlin from using will for sex, companionship, comfort, distraction, etc - until arthur shows up, when will either steps aside in deference to merlin’s all-consuming passion for arthur or is dropped like a hot potato.

“not even will.” that sentence. over and over again. merlin had never felt like this before, not even with will. nobody had ever understood merlin like this, not even will. even in fic when they were like. married. or engaged. fanon arthur pendragon must be truly mind-blowing, y’all.

dead long-term relationship. will was merlin’s husband/fiancé/long-term partner. now he is Dead. merlin getting together with arthur is what allows merlin to Heal. (these stories sometimes contain some variation of “not even will,” as discussed above.)

lastly, in a related phenomenon:

who are you and what have you done with arthur pendragon??? i suppose in a way it’s nice to know that will isn’t the only one who gets the OOC treatment, but it is still really...something, to read fic where will is twisted into an unpleasant, abusive, canon non-compliant version of himself, and then to see arthur, on the very same page, transformed into a gentle, solicitous, kind, caring, equally canon non-compliant angel. fanon!arthur is more worried about merlin’s well-being than literally anyone i have ever seen. he is so invested in merlin’s emotional health. he is so concerned about merlin’s boundaries. he says things to merlin that no version of arthur pendragon has ever - EVER - in any universe, thought about saying to anybody. he wants to hear all about merlin’s problems, and he’s all about taking it slow and making sure merlin feels comfortable and loved and worthy and safe (from all that horrible stuff done by that horrible other guy; that must’ve been so hard, merlin; ‘it’s okay, i’ve got you now’) - the man is utterly unrecognizable. and you know what? it’s okay! it is fine to make your characters as OOC as you want. it is fine to make them better/nicer than they were in the canon. sometimes we all want that, right? it’s fanfic! have a ball. i will never tell anyone to stop writing what they like, and i will NEVER interact negatively with a fic i don’t care for. EVER. do not do this, people - click the back button and move on with your life. but i reserve the right to be annoyed, in my own space, about a persistent trend of will and arthur’s canon functions being flat-out reversed, in service of merlin/arthur. not in the sense that canon!will is particularly gentle or sweet, because that’s not the case - but in the sense that will, in canon, is the one who actually cares about merlin’s best interests, whereas arthur is, quite frankly, the ass. a lovable ass (sometimes). but an ass nonetheless, and one whose relationship with merlin is, from start to finish, an unhealthy, oppressive mess.

The Point

the point of me typing this up is not to say that what people choose to write is bad or wrong. this is fanfic! you can write whatever you want. you can make characters as OOC as you want. you can create as many AUs as you want. i don’t mind fic authors writing stuff i don’t personally care for; someone else probably loves those stories! and i am never going to interact negatively with anything i don’t personally enjoy - i am going to let people continue to have fun in their own ways, and i am going to grumble about my frustrations in my own space, and then i’m going to direct my energy into writing stuff i would personally like to read.

the point is just that i needed a brief second to complain, on my own blog, about my most familiar bbc merlin nemesis (otherwise known as ‘single-ship ubiquity’). and what i mean by this is that it is REALLY FRUSTRATING that other little relationships are not even granted the tiniest concession of owning their own ship tags, in a fandom that is already so SATURATED with merlin/arthur content. like - even if i’m generous and use the number 17 for the number of actual merlin/will fics in the tag, that still means 88% of will’s ship tag is actually fic about merlin falling in love with people who aren’t will (*cougharthur*). eighty-eight percent! of his own ship tag!

(to put it another way - the ship tag isn’t supposed to be where you go to watch your character get repeatedly dumped or left behind for someone else, okay? it’s supposed to be literally the opposite of that.)

will’s ship tag is already tiny. and almost all of it belongs to arthur. moreover, a significant chunk of it uses will as a convenient villain (completely contradicting every canon aspect of his characterization), when in the actual story will dies to protect arthur (who he doesn’t even like) and then lies to save merlin (at the expense of his own reputation, and despite the fact that he personally thinks merlin returning to camelot is a bad idea). his behavior in canon is selfless, and wholly committed to merlin’s welfare, and yet in his ship tag he gets treated like trash.

the kid can’t catch a break. and it’s such a pervasive thing that even though i personally am primarily interested in merlin and will as friends (i am pretty romance-averse in general when it comes to media, and i have never written anything that isn’t gen, for any fandom, ever, in my life), i am also so indignant on will’s behalf that i’ve basically become invested in the well-being of this ship as a matter of principle. it’s not my main thing, and it’s not necessarily how i view the canon-verse, but i am SO IRRITATED about how virtually all of will’s shipfic has been taken over by merthur (and about how maligned will is in his own tag) that i have actively committed myself to supporting merlin and will together in as many AUs as possible.

(this is basically like when i trained myself to love allison argent after teen wolf killed her off. i did that out of spite, y’all. it’s the principle of the thing.)

so, y’know. all i am saying is that i think will deserves his share of happy endings, and i think it would be nice to see fics where he is not just a stepping stone on the road to merthur or an unrecognizable parody of himself.

more importantly - EVERY merlin ship deserves to have a tag that isn’t completely swallowed by the local fandom behemoth. merlin/arthur already owns three quarters of the archive. a gargantuan oil tanker like that can afford to let the little rarepair canoes float down their own streams in peace.

#tl;dr version:#GIVE MERLIN AND WILL THEIR OWN FICS 2K20 #I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THIS INJUSTICE HAS BEEN ADDRESSED #(y'all think i am kidding but i have already walked the walk ok)#(i am currently the internet title-holder for 'most words dedicated to this relationship')#(it might be the platonic version but if you don't think i will stretch myself and try something new)#(then you underestimate just how aggravated i am)#(and just how much i want this kid to get everything he deserves)#the once and future slowburn #no kings no masters #fandom

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scoobydoominuscoobydoo · 5 years ago

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Alright, I guess we should talk about Scoob!

So Scoob! was digitally release nearly a month ago and Mod Silas and I finally got around to watching it.

For anyone who liked it and don’t wanna read me heavily criticize it then I’ll just spoil you right now:

I did not like Scoob! at all.

And it was really disappointing because this is the first wide release film Scooby has gotten in 16 years. That’s a long time to think of bringing Scooby to the general public who don’t go out of their way to watch every single direct-to-video movie. The announcement of a new feature length film was two or three years ago and I was really excited to hear it because I was expecting some high-quality content.

My opinion of it quickly dropped a lot when it was revealed that the original voice cast wouldn’t be in it. That’s fine all on it’s own but they did it without even letting the original cast know they wouldn’t be a part of this (Besides Frank but he wasn’t even cast as who he originally played). Seeing both Matthew and Grey’s responses to this made me sad and I was significantly less excited for this movie.

Suddenly the concept of this movie not being that good became very real to me. How much passion can you have for Scooby-Doo when you ignore the original cast and hire people who have never done anything for the franchise before that.

Despite all of that, I was giving Scoob! the benefit of the doubt because I really wanted this movie to be good. I wanted this movie to open up the potential for more major Scooby projects. And while this movie did well financially I find myself so disappointed that after 16 years this is what we got.

Since I hated almost everything about this movie I’m gonna break it up into a numbered list (otherwise I’ll be ranting endlessly).

#1: This movie fails at telling a story.

When the trailer was dropped I remember being like, “Great. Lets recycle the whole Scoob and Shag friendship as a central narrative. Not like they’ve done that a million times before.” And then next thing you know, they’re on the Falcon Fury and I was so not excited. That was two plot-lines they’ve played with before and I can’t remember the last time anyone cared about the Blue Falcon. It’s one of the weaker movies and nobody talks about that one episode of MI that he’s in.

But again, I was going to let it slide because it’s still possible to create a good story out of something recycled.

The movie opens up with them when they were kids and I was already bummed because this movie is taking place in present times and not the 70′s or the 80′s. They allude to the fact that Shaggy enjoys stuff from that time period (while he’s scrolling through a smartphone) but that’s not the same. This concept bugged me for the rest of the movie because the majority of scenes where the gang is solving something they just Google it and the the scene is over. As opposed to it taking place before the internet and writers would have to get creative. And while I love the gang as kids because when it’s done in the show they have so much charm and life the beginning scenes are kinda pointless and don’t establish anything major. I think they were trying to show that the gang have been really close since they were little but it doesn’t come off that way. Not to mention the whole scene with the gang together feels really stiff and I was salty that Shaggy wasn’t wearing a Commander Cool costume instead of his Blue Falcon outfit.

At this point I was waiting for the character conflict to be introduced because that’s a key convention in every Scooby movie. There’s always a man in a mask to chase but that’s not where the story comes together. The story comes from some sort internal conflict within the characters.

The phantom dinosaurs in Legend of the Phantosaur are awesome but that’s not what the movie is about. It’s about Shaggy overcoming his own internal hurdles.

That’s been a consistent pattern in the best of the Scooby films (even all four of the live action ones do this) and I was waiting for it to be identified. And then next thing I know we’re twenty minutes into the movie and I’m not sure what it’s even about. The scene where the gang talk about wanting to become a legitimate business happens so fast and it took me like five minutes to be like, “Wait is this our conflict?” A fight between the gang about Shaggy and Scooby’s usefulness to the cause? (Which is also a recycled plot but whatever.) Their fight happens so fast and isn’t taken all that seriously so Shag and Scoob’s anger seems more played for a laugh than anything else.

But then they cut to the bowling alley and the two of them seem genuinely upset. And I can’t help but think if you had let the earlier scene escalate into an actual argument that I would have bought the hurt feelings. But then none of it matters because Shag and Scoob are immediately attacked and rescued by the Blue Falcon and someone’s OC. And when the rest of the gang find out they instantly feel bad and so I guess the tension between the gang wasn’t supposed to be the central conflict.

Now it’s back to being about Shaggy and Scooby and their millionth time being the chosen one.

Shaggy becomes pretty upset because Scooby is getting into the whole superhero thing and isn’t giving Shag a second thought. But the thing is, none of this was built up. The villain and Simon Cowell tell Shag he isn’t special and both of those times aren’t even remotely emotional. They briefly mention that Shag has some self confidence issues and that turns into him getting mad at Scooby for taking off his collar and playing hero. Ignoring the fact that this is not in character at all it’s clear that the story is now forcing conflict because we’re 45 minutes into the movie and all we’ve done is slapstick.

Shaggy and Scooby’s falling out is ridiculous because they’ve only been mad at each other for like ten minutes of the whole movie so there aren’t any stakes at all. You know they’re gonna make up because this fight came out of nowhere and wasn’t built up at all. Shag and the gang reuniting isn’t emotional at all and Shaggy breaking up the fight could have been so much better if it was just done better.

And that’s how this whole movie is, this plot had the potential to be great scenes could have gotten something from me but nothing is built up and it can’t stay consistent.

By the final battle of the film we’ve only had two things resembling character arcs in Shag and the Blue Falcon and neither of them have any weight. The movie tells us what we already know, that Shaggy is indeed useful to the gang and I just want this movie to be over.

And I guess because they wanna tug on your heartstrings the writers threw in a little self-sacrifice. And I’m not against that at all I think that’s a good resolution to the arc they were trying to give Shaggy but the thing is there’s no stakes or tension in the scene. It just happens and we’re meant to be sad about it but I can’t because nobody else in the scene seems to think it’s all that depressing besides Scooby. And like two minutes later the conflict is resolved and we get our obligatory dance party at the end.

That whole thing is not a story, nothing is really accomplished by the end and nobody has really gone anywhere.

There was no Point A which takes us to Point B which brings us to Point C. This was an insane labyrinth of lines running through as many points as they could and then calling it a day. There was no natural progression and none of the conflicts presented even mattered because they were immediately resolved anyway. That makes sense for a TV show but this is a feature length film. I honestly could not believe they were going to release that in theaters because there is no way it’s worth the money.

It was so devoid of the Scooby-Doo charm and this movie felt more lifeless than anything I’ve watched in a long time.

#2: The movie does a bad job of portraying the gang’s friendship.

One of the fandom’s favorite parts of the Scooby-Doo franchise is the friendship between the gang and the way their characters interact.

But in this movie they behave more like coworkers than anything else. They try to play up the gang feeling guilty and missing the guys but it’s really not convincing. And it’s clear that the fight was more or less to contribute to Velma, Daphne and Fred’s story rather than the whole gang. They spend most of their scenes talking about the mystery or what Shaggy and Scooby would be doing if they were there. The one time in the movie where I can buy them being best friends is when we watch that accidentally took a video instead of a selfie. I thought that was really cute and showed the gang’s dynamic effectively.

The end of the movie where Shaggy is supposedly sealed in the Underworld forever is so underwhelming because Scooby is the only one reacting. Like that’s supposed to be their best friend of ten years who they don’t think they’ll ever see again and they barely bat an eyelash until they go to comfort Scooby.

My first thought was, “There is no way the gang would just let Shaggy sacrifice himself.” And I kept wondering why no one else was trying to stop him or hold him back.

It’s annoying because I like when the whole gang’s relationship a key part of the plot rather than just Shaggy and Scooby + the other three who are also here.

#3: The villain and the Blue Falcon are pointless.

You could have taken Brian and Dick Dastardly out of the movie and replaced them with anyone and the movie would not have changed at all.

The Blue Falcon squad add nothing to the story and are mainly just there for ......nostalgia I guess??? But nobody even remembers the Blue Falcon???

The scenes with Dastardly are easily the worst parts because he’s just a copy-paste villain who sometimes says semi relatable things and it’s meant to be hilarious. His whole plan to open the Underworld just to get his dog back could have been interesting but obviously it wasn’t because nothing is properly built up in this movie.

Their first mistake was immediately revealing who their villain was right off the bat. I won’t be salty that they used actual supernatural forces because Scooby has done that plenty of times. I am salty that they just up and tell you who the puppetmaster is without any goal at anonymity which just goes against everything Scooby is about.

And they’ve done this multiple times. Whenever real supernatural forces are brought into the mix that does change anything because the forces are almost always being controlled by a man in a mask. This sticks to the Scooby belief that the real evil in our world comes from man and not fictional monsters.

#4: This movie’s presentation is not good.

I will quickly say that I actually liked Shaggy’s design in the movie even though Mod Silas already drew Shag with a long sleeve under his shirt and I think that’s a lot better looking. Whatever, I thought he was cute.

I was talking about how stiff the opening scenes felt, well the whole movie looks pretty stiff as well.

The character designs are distracting (every girl in this movie with their hair down looks like they’re just wearing a wig it looks so bad I don’t understand hair hasn’t looked back in animation for like a decade) and the animation is pretty sloppy. The directing and camera movements also don’t make any half the time and only make everything more jarring. I have nothing against CG animation but I feel like this movie was trying to be 2D in a 3D space and and was just not working out.

Also the voice acting in the movie is really not good. Like idk how this movie managed to get a bad performance out of these pretty renowned actors but none of them sound like they wanna be there or even really care. Which is funny because if they had kept the original cast you know they would have given it 110% since they actually have passion playing these roles. If the performances were actually good I feel like I would have enjoyed the movie a little more.

They also play some standard pop songs and that confused me because they literally played the original theme song at the beginning. Like you guys have the What’s New theme which everyone loves, a plethora of other theme songs, and two Hex Girls songs you could have played.

When the dance party at the end happens Mod Silas pointed out that it was a wasted opportunity because instead of having the Blue Falcon be a DJ they could have just brought in the Hex Girls or Simple Plan.

But they didn’t do that and I honestly wonder if the people who made this movie care about Scooby-Doo at all.

#5: The things that I actually liked.

Again, I liked that scene where they do that cute selfie thing, I thought was adorable and accurately showed their dynamic.

I also liked that Daphne was the one to point out what Shag and Scoob contribute to the team because I’m biased.

When they address that Shag and Scoob are they ones that make sure the gang is eating I like that, I thought it was very in character and made a lot of sense.

I like when Captain Caveman showed up for literally no reason and was voiced by Tracy Morgan. Simply because it was so dumb I had to laugh.

I like the gang’s group hugs because those always showcase how tall Shag is compared to everyone and they all deserve a hug.

Any of the lines Fred said because they were the majority of the actually funny jokes in the movie.

The scene where Shag, Scoob and Daph are split off and she keeps getting her spare Scooby Snacks stolen by Scooby. I just love that trio for obvious reasons and it was the only part of the movie where I felt happy.

At the end when Shaggy yells at the gang and tells them what to do because I just always like it when he does that, it always throws the rest of the gang off and it’s funny.

The scene where they unmask Dastardly and it’s Simon Cowell and then they unmask Cowell and it’s Dastardly again. Like the smartest joke the movie had.

The Hex Girls poster at the carnival because it tricked me into thinking we’d see them at some point.

I liked DynoMutt, I though his design was cool and he got the other half of the actually funny jokes.

When Blue Falcon does that phone gag and is all like, “Adventure is calling!!” And the scene is supposed to be exciting but then Shag immediately is like, “No thanks.” I thought that was in character and pretty funny before being taken back because conflicts are resolved instantly in this movie.

Conclusion:

When you’re passionate with something as underground as Scooby-Doo you find yourself getting very protective of the legacy it leaves behind.

Granted this franchise has always had some black marks on it’s record but that’s to be expected since it’s a 50 year-old series.

Scoob was going to bring Scooby-Doo back into the limelight after such a long time remaining on CN or Boomerang respectively. And was just so devoid of the passion that even MI had, it felt like more of a cash grab than anything else. And it bums me out because there are so many good things that we could have gotten from an animated theatrical release.

But instead we got an hour and forty-five minutes of nothing and that isn’t what Scooby deserves at all. I can only hope that someone will want to try again and this time, they’ll actually care.

(Feel free to share your own thoughts on the movie and maybe discuss point I made that you agree/disagree with.)

#mod ninja #scoob!#the disappointments in 2020 just keep wracking up #not to mention this movie was actually surprisingly boring since there was no tension #most of the time we were comparing it to phantosaur and it just made us more pained #seriously i don't think i wanna watch that movie ever again

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lokidiabolus · 4 years ago

Text

The Deal - Chapter 2

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (web series)

Pairing: Alastor / Angel Dust

Warnings: human!Angel Dust (Anthony), Deal with a devil AU

Summary: Sometimes you had nobody to spend the Christmas with. Sometimes you didn’t want to. Sometimes you took a chalk and drew a pentagram on the floor fully ready to deal with anything that would come out as an alternative to self-pity occurring otherwise.

The time when Anthony thought if he can’t get anybody to love him properly, he can just make a deal with a devil and find out what affection feels like. Alastor thinks this mortal is pitiful beyond belief and concede. Cuddles happen.

Can be found on Ao3.

Notes: I think Cajun Alastor is wonderful but for the love of god I can't write that shit, so I apologize in advance. Please pretend it's readable.

Unbetad!

2020, January 16th

“Mamaaa, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead~.”

Alastor raised his head from a book he snatched from Anthony’s poor excuse of a collection and narrowed his eyes. Anthony could see him in the corner of his eye, even though the demon excused himself to the living room because Anthony insisted on playing his music and not Alastor’s radio, and he couldn’t help it was Nicki Minaj for the first three songs. He even put it on shuffle too!

I’ve already died once, don’t need to repeat the experience, Alastor rudely scoffed at Anthony’s phone and left the room, even though he was bragging just night before he’d totally help with cooking. He didn’t even touch the knife before storming out rather than listen to anything modern.

“Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry~,” Anthony singsonged with the melody while grating cheese and could literally feel Alastor’s eyes stabbing the back of his head. Probably not a fan of Queen either.

“If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters~,” he twirled around the counter to get plates out of cupboard, “Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody, I've got to go, gotta leave you all behind and face the truth~.”

He made a pirouette and his voice skipped an octave when he almost crashed into Alastor suddenly standing in front of him, right in Anthony’s personal bubble, just looming (which was strange he could, since he was half a head shorter than Anthony, yet it couldn’t be described otherwise). He didn’t say anything, just watched Anthony handle the plates clumsily until the human finally managed to put them on the counter without incident.

“See something you like?” Anthony batted his eyelashes while making a pose with pursed lips and Alastor looked him up and down and smirked:

“Not really.”

“Ouch.”

“What is this song about?” the demon ignored him and nodded towards the phone in the middle of Bohemian Rhapsody, surprisingly sounding curious instead of displeased like before (but alright, it was fair of him to be put off when Anaconda was the first thing he heard, Anthony didn’t blame him).

“Don’t have Freddie in hell?” Anthony chuckled and returned back to filling the plates with Carbonara. It wasn’t like he wanted to fall into an Italian household stereotype but Alastor seemed to like Italian cuisine and it was something Anthony was confident in anyway. Also the praise was always a pretty nice bonus and Anthony might have been fishing for it a little bit.

“Not that I know of,” Alastor hummed. “So what is it about? Murder?”

“I mean… I guess? Sorta?” Anthony shrugged and pushed a plate of steaming food into Alastor’s hands, then gestured towards the table. “Should be about a man who accidentally killed somebody and then sold his soul to the devil.”

“How intriguing!” Of course Alastor would like that topic, grinning like a loon. “You knew the lyrics by heart.”

“It’s a famous song,” Anthony stuck out his tongue. “Everybody knows the lyrics. It’s like an anthem, ya know. Great song.”

“Likeable,” the demon admitted and sat at the table while Anthony handed him a fork and a spoon. “Thank you, dear. Looks splendid as always.”

“I try,” Anthony beamed while sitting down as well. “Oh. Actually, what if I killed somebody too, like, in the future-,”

“Now that would be an adventure, would it not?” Alastor interrupted him with even a wider smile, while the invisible audience cheered, like the idea of murder appealed to him. Why wouldn’t it, as a demon of course he wouldn’t go ew, don’t.

“I’m too pretty for jail, ya know,” Anthony gave him an unamused glare. Alastor hummed in agreement and started eating, his eyes lighting up happily. For a hell person he sure was such a foodie.

“Aww, so you think I’m pretty?” Anthony cooed at him and Alastor glared. It was a thing with this guy – he handled flirtations very badly. Either he got angry or super frustrated, and the latter was honestly so adorable Anthony risked the wrath too often for his own good. “So, what do you like about me?”

“When you don’t talk.” Came a curt reply and Anthony snorted and let him get off the hook.

“What I meant was – what if I killed somebody but didn’t want to go to jail. And wanted to make a deal with you about keeping me safe from them? Would it work?”

“Why wouldn’t it work?” Alastor glanced at him from the food. “Safety is nothing difficult to achieve.”

“I mean,” Anthony leaned against his palm. “We already made a deal. Can you make two deals with the same person?”

“I can make as many deals as I want with the same person,” Alastor answered while twirling his fork in spaghetti. “Why would you think I could not?”

“Not that ya couldn’t but… more like it’s not worth it for ya anymore, right?” Anthony suggested and it seemed like he made an interesting point, since Alastor stopped eating to fully concentrate on the problem. “As in, ya already have my soul-,”

“Heart.”

“And undying love, of course,” Anthony winked at him, earning an eyeroll. Fair. “But another deal would not give ya anything else. Ya already have what ya wanted.”

“Oh, indeed,” the demon nodded thoughtfully. “Obviously true. It depends on the individual. Some demons can take years off the remaining life of the mortal, or actually only state the remaining years for their service, then come collect the life once the time is up.”

“Like they give ya an amazing painting skill, but you have… ten years to live and enjoy the fame?” Anthony prompted and Alastor nodded in agreement. “That sounds… pretty rough. Why would anybody take that?”

“Why would anybody do anything? Mortals are greedy. They want to be acknowledged. Or they fight sheer, absolute boredom and want to elevate it by any means necessary,” the demon tapped his claws against the table in quick staccato. “You think it is not worth it?”

“I mean maybe when I’m fifty, sure, ten years sounds fine,” Anthony shrugged. “But ten years from now? I guess I’d be bummed.”

“Maybe you are not thinking big enough,” Alastor gave him a wide smile. “Not all demons take remaining life force though. Everybody has different methods if necessary. Though the heart is usually a priority.”

“Not for everybody though?”

“Some don’t want underlings,” the demon opposed. “Some only work for Hell itself and don’t take anything, only assure the soul will belong to Hell once the mortal die. Some actually feed on the life force of humans. Hell is having all kind of horrors you can think of, you see.”

“At least yer a daydream,” Anthony winked and Alastor’s smile twitched. Easy. “Building your own harem down there, ya kinky bastard.”

“And here I thought we’re having a meaningful conversation,” the demon sighed and returned to the food, which made Anthony snicker.

“I mean… what do I know, it could be,” he teased him. “What else would ya need some poor bastard’s hearts to do your bidding?”

“To tell them when they need to close their pretty mouths shut if they want to keep them,” Alastor smiled at him sweetly, his crimson eyes shining, and alright, okay, threats on Thursday evening were a thing now. Anthony imitated a zipper on his mouth and quieted down, but still, it was kind of hilarious. Maybe a week ago he’d still be afraid of Alastor pouncing at over the table and slashing his throat but now it was more like no talk, I’m angy sort of meme.

The silence didn’t last very long when Alastor set the fork down and looked at Anthony with curiosity.

“You are full of vigour today,” he observed. “Something good happened? You seem to be in jolly mood.”

“Just glad ya could make it,” Anthony grinned. Alastor became very reliable when it came to the dinner dates and weekend plans after the New Year’s fiasco, never missed one when he promised to come. They found a certain rhythm in the cohabitation and Anthony got used to his presence maybe a little too fast. The man was an enigma with the way he behaved – they slept huddled together no problem, Alastor could be super clingy when he wanted to (rarely though, usually more like only when somehow too tired), but once they were out of the bedroom, any contact was met with stiffness or a five foot rule. The latter became a thing about a week after New Year’s thanks to Anthony’s inability to keep his hands to himself when it came to Alastor’s fluffiness. The hair, the ears and the tail that wagged when he liked something enough, which obviously couldn’t leave Anthony calm, right? A damn cute fluffy wagging tail just… there, for touching.

Well, Alastor wasn’t amused, not by a long shot. The moment Anthony gathered enough courage and touched the thing, the edge of Alastor’s microphone was pushing against his chest to keep him away, and he would have sworn there were creepy symbols flying all around the demon’s head like he was ready to let Anthony get swallowed by some Eldritch monster. Therefore five foot rule became a thing unless it was Alastor who initiated the touch – which was another weird thing about the man. He had no respect for personal space whatsoever, like at all, when he wanted to point out something, make a statement or just felt like it, but once somebody else breached his personal bubble, he bristled like a cat with murderous intent. So Anthony kept his hands to himself but started flirting. Honestly kind of expected a five words rule to happen at some point, but until then he just wanted to have his fun.

“I see,” Alastor watched him carefully and then picked the fork again. “And here I thought you won a lottery or maybe fell in love.”

“Yer the only love of my life, don’t ya worry,” Anthony winked because he could and Alastor let out a sigh that honestly didn’t even sound that fed up, more like just out of habit. “But like. It’s kinda convenient. If somebody confessed to me, that is.”

“Oh?” Alastor’s eyes were sharp.

“My heart belongs to another!” Anthony stated dramatically and then let out a small laugh. “Not even lying? Like. My heart is taken, literally, by the deal we made, it would be like an ultimate move.”

The demon seemed to ponder it, then said nothing. Probably didn’t want to rain on Anthony’s parade on shutting him down needlessly. Naturally, Anthony didn’t think any romance was possible, or even vaguely interesting for the demon, so all his jabs were good-natured but without seriousness.

Or almost all of them. He would be lying if he didn’t admit at least to himself he liked Alastor as a person, not only as a convenient body pillow with Bambi tail he didn’t even let him touch. But such thoughts were private, and he kept them hidden and locked inside of his mind. He learned well enough not to hope to protect himself, and the only relationship there could be was a master and an underling – eventually. Once Anthony die.

Though… who knew when he was going to die. Was Alastor willing to do this his whole life? What if he was going to live to 80? Was he going to cuddle with him and eat dinners every three days in a week for 49 years?

But then again… what is time for a demon? He didn’t even know how old Alastor was. By appearance he’d say maybe around Anthony’s age, but then again, he was never half deer so… could be different. Did deer age count the same as dogs?

“If you ever needed an excuse for that kind of thing,” Alastor suddenly spoke, his voice staticky as always, a weirdly comforting noise lately. “I would recommend saying your husband has a wide collection of knives. It usually scares people away.”

“Pfff.” Husband. “Would need a ring for that, ya know.”

“Mhm,” the demon hummed, not adding anything else. Seriously. He just kept leaving so many openings, there was no way Anthony would not use those when he had a chance.

“So how many knives you have, husband?” he sent him a bright smile and Alastor carefully twirled carbonara on his fork before putting it to his mouth primly, chewed and then gulped down, as a show of how not amusing the jab was, Anthony thought.

Then, after another moment: “About twelve.”

Anthony made a croaking noise and completely missed a smile Alastor hid with another bite of food.

***

“Anthony.”

“Mmmm?”

The clock showed 1 in the morning and Anthony couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how hard he cuddled Alastor under the blanket. He tossed and turned and Alastor had to pull him back to him about ten times, but sleep eluded them both, even with the white noise of Alastor’s static floating around that usually lulled Anthony well enough.

“Can you play the murder song again,” Alastor requested from under Anthony’s weight, sprawled around the middle of the bed.

“Hah, sure,” the human reached for his phone resting on the nightstand and almost blinded himself when the display lit up. He clicked few times until Bohemian Rhapsody broke the silence of the otherwise quiet flat before returning back to lie on top of his demon.

“Sing with it too?” another request and Anthony prompted his chin on Alastor’s chest.

“Can’t sleep either?”

“You keep tossing and turning,” Alastor said simply. “Not me. Sing?”

Anthony raised an eyebrow, but there was no reasoning for the request, so he just softly sang along with the music, looking at Alastor with half lidded eyes until he couldn’t hold them open anymore. The song eventually ended, and Anthony finally felt sleep tugging on his consciousness like he just performed a lullaby that worked a bit too well.

“You asked about more deals for one person before,” he distantly felt a hand going through his hair and only hummed. “For you, my dear, I would close more deals if you ever asked me.”

“Aww,” he chuckled sleepily, his arms circling Alastor’s torso with possessiveness.

“The happier you are,” he heard, “the better your psyche becomes. The stronger the demon you’d be down there.”

“Boo, how cold,” Anthony pouted. “And here I thought ya actually liked me, at least a little.”

“You are… tolerable.” Anthony missed the small smile playing on Alastor’s lips, his face buried in the man’s red shirt. “But I am a professional, you see.”

“A professional dealmaker,” he yawned.

“Quite so.”

“Ya have that in your resume too?” Anthony couldn’t stop the tease. “Ya know, next to professional cuddler?”

“Probably as much as you have an immense tease in yours,” the demon uttered and his voice was thundering in his chest, which was weird, because it sounded like a completely different person without the static echo. Anthony liked it though.

“Sure, but also a good cook,” the human chuckled, “and a quality wife, ya see.”

A hum, then silence. Anthony considered the conversation closed, until Alastor spoke again softly: “There are always ways to get something in return for another deal, beside the servitude or life force.”

“Mmmlikewhat.”

“Why don’t you find out yourself?”

And with that Anthony fell asleep before any kind of dirty joke could come out.

***

2020, January 17th

It stayed in his head the whole next day. He kept thinking about it at home when getting ready to go out, then at work when taking orders and wondered, if a favourite dish made for dinner would be a possible kind of payment for the deal in Alastor’s book. What a demon like him could possibly want beside the heart he already got? He knew Alastor enjoyed good food, but was that actually something that could be exchanged for a supernatural request?

Or was it something kinky, like that in hell the only title Anthony would be able to use when talking to him would be Master? Or My Lord? Anthony could see himself do that, sure, though only in a joke to rile him up a little.

Funny how any fear of the guy went down the drain after the Bambi revelation, no matter how scary Alastor tried to be sometimes.

“Love, this is the third time you messed up an order, are you okay?” his colleague patted his shoulder and he blinked at her in confusion.

“Oh shit, did I?” he realized, after a long loading screen in his brain completed, what she just said and snapped back to reality where the demon in red didn’t bat his eyelashes at him. Not that he ever did. But he could dream. “I’m so sorry, my mind is in a gutter.”

“Yeah, can see that,” the girl patted his arm this time. He wasn’t sure why she was so touchy-feely all of sudden, but didn’t comment on it. “Something on your mind?”

“Weekend plans,” he shrugged and well, he wasn’t even lying, really. This was their weekend together and since Alastor didn’t mention any kind of obstacle in attending, it was Anthony’s turn to think of something to do. The forecast looked glum though, so going outside was probably not the best choice of outing, unless it would be short, so indoors activity sounded a little more satisfying. Maybe they could order some good food home, rather than cook this time. Or drink. Oooh, they could actually drink! He wondered if Alastor even liked alcohol.

“Man, Tony, are you in love or something?” the girl sighed, snapping her fingers in front of him. “You keep spacing out!”

“Well,” he glanced at her with a grin. “My heart has definitely been taken-,”

“In which gangbang this time?” another colleague cut in, smiling at him with fake sweetness while putting empty glasses in the sink with a loud thud. He didn’t even see her coming. “Did they pay you enough to buy you completely? Or just a quickie outside like always?”

Ouch.

“Don’t be salty just because nobody would fuck you even for free,” he cocked his hips. “Heard duster is good for cobwebs though.”

“Whatever you say, slut,” she made a face at him. “I’m not being the one spreading STD.”

“Good at spreading bullshit though,” he shot back, making her give him an uptight smile and a smack of her ponytail when she dramatically turned away and left for the kitchen. He decided not to comment on that and was kind of glad the other girl kept her mouth shut too.

Obviously, everybody at work knew about the New Year’s and his fall from grace – though that would indicate there was grace to begin with, which honestly was not. Maybe he should start looking for another job with how bleak things looked in this pub. The whole week after New Year’s random guys kept making pass at him even in his regular waiter clothes, like somebody just decided to advertise the pub as fuck-to-go eatery and it made his skin itch, especially when some of them were more handsy than others and didn’t understand no sent their way. A slap on his butt there, a grope here, hey cutie called from another table, and the girls he worked with either glared at him or had nasty remarks he should have already been able to deflect, but sometimes he just could not. He wasn’t made of sugar, some bad words and pointed fingers didn’t make him cry, but they didn’t add to good mood either.

He was always relieved if that evening Al showed up and took his worries away with the well-known staticky voice and invisible audience cheering at some of his bad dad jokes. Honestly, he had lots of bad dad jokes it was almost unreal, and the saddest thing was he unironically liked them while Anthony groaned every time he told some. He was just glad so far Alastor didn’t use those cringe worthy abominations against the flirting, because that would definitely shut Anthony down fast.

There were still four hours to his shift and for the first time since he knew Alastor he regretted the demon didn’t have a phone, so he could hear his voice while he locked himself in the bathroom stall with knees under his chin and quivering lip.

***

Anthony still didn’t know what to do over the weekend. It felt like he should have a plan, like there should be a diary or something, with post-it notes and differently coloured entries, but all he could do when he got back home was to sag down in the living room like a bag of potatoes on the couch and open a bottle of tequila. No limes, no salt, just the bottle and big gulps of it. He chugged it several times until the annoying tightness in his chest slowly eased off, until he could breathe normally and the bitter words he heard every time he turned his back towards the bar dissolved in burning taste of alcohol.

Who cared. People were mean and greedy, and he was broken and rotten to the core. Those things usually never combined well together, and he was a living proof. When was the last time he even had a friend? When did somebody expressed concern for him? Damn, when even was the last time somebody held his hair when he threw up?

Self-centred bitch. Show-off. Attention seeker. Dirty slut. A whore.

All fun and smiles and oh, I will do your make up, sweetie, oh, let me do your hair, honey, oh, this costume looks so cute on you, and oh, was it just a quickie outside or you fucked the whole train station? Did he just give you a ride home or you sucked his dick for it? Oh, new shoes? Which sugar daddy’s money was it today?

“Nobody’s fuckin’ money!” he yelled at nothing, swinging the almost empty bottle of tequila around. “None of yer fuckin’ business!”

Maybe we should do next costume event BDSM themed, our little darling angel Tony would love to lick somebody’s boots again.

“Fuck off!” A loud shattering noise when the bottle hit the wall felt like his sanity was breaking to pieces. “Just leave me the fuck alone…”

His brain was so hazed he barely registered arms circling around him, pulling him into a hug. He was swayed from side to side with a soft, crooning noise above him, and thought damn, how bad is it I even hallucinate? Up until he finally focused enough to realize he was engulfed with blackness without any real warmth, just suddenly there, holding him.

“Oh…” he chuckled pathetically. “It’s you.”

The Shadow nuzzled his face but didn’t say anything, just continued to hold him. Frankly, Anthony had no idea what day it was, even what time or where exactly he ended up, if he moved at all, if Alastor was supposed to come but couldn’t make it, so he sent Junior instead, or if this was some kind of weird, alcohol induced vision of much needed comfort.

“Whacha do’n her’, big boy?” The words were slurring together, the alcohol was doing its magic. “Al’s busy busy busy?”

Another nuzzle. Was that a touch therapy? Nobody touched him so readily before. Not even Al who cuddled him at night, but usually touched him only in two prime locations – his waist and around neck and head for pats, but otherwise kept his hands to himself. The Shadow on the other hand just pawed at him pretty much like a big dog wanting to rub all over and Anthony blearily wondered how a man and his shadow could be so different.

“Th’re, t’re,” he patted the Shadow’s head, a strange ghost-like tingling going through his hand. “Ar’ ya sad too?”

The hold remained and the dark tendrils from the shade were covering half of the couch like an expensive Persian rug. That mental image made Anthony bark out a drunken laugh. Could somebody’s shadow be sad? It was clinging to him like a lifeline and Anthony felt the tequila churning in his belly as if it were trying to burn its way through.

“Ah,” he finally realized what the shadow was doing. “Yer tryin’ t’ comf’rt me.”

A hum, clearly agreeing. It made Anthony relax into the hold, feeling a little like floating and not sitting on his tequila-stained couch, and yeah, it was relaxing, it was nice, it was… different.

“Wond’r how Al’s hugs ar’,” he sighed then giggled stupidly. “Prob’ly warm an’ nice. D’es he ev’n hug pe’ple?”

Maybe he did hug people. Just different people. Not Anthony, at least. Touching only when necessary. Maybe he could make a deal about hugging, Al said more deals are possible. Maybe he could ask for one hug a week or something, like one full body hug and then wait for seven days for Al to get his barriers back… or whatever he had. Human contact aversion, probably. He just wasn’t sure what to give in return. Being a personal cook? Not flirting at any point ever again?

Would Al even want shit like that? Or would he want some of his life force? Years off his back? He would give them… for Alastor. If he wanted his life force, Anthony wouldn’t mind if it was him. His life was not worth much anyway.

Would Alastor want something as rotten as his life energy though? Sure, he wanted his heart at least, but it just meant to have a servant later on, nothing he would feed himself with.

Unless he ate his servants. That would kinda suck.

“I k’nda like ‘im, y’kno,” he confessed quietly, slowly slipping lower in the hold. The anger he felt was already gone, now the tequila tried to pull at melancholy, and he didn’t like it. Didn’t need to be sad over the fact the only person at least vaguely resembling affectionate concern was a demon from hell that got paid with his soul and heart for acting out of his character three times a week. “Path’tic me, huh.”

Nuzzling ensued. He liked Al’s shadow. He was like a big animal soaking up bad vibes and making Anthony calmer.

“Wish I c’n talk to ‘im when I feel sad,” he mumbled to himself and barely registered the shadow pulled them both down to the cushions. “’s he French? He sounded French ‘nce…”

“Cajun,” rang through the room and Anthony attempted to focus, but his vision kept on blurring. Maybe he drank too much after all. “Louisiana.”

“Bayou boy?” he giggled anyway. “That’s cute.”

“You drank too much, cher,” rang through the room again and then another sigh came, and radio static buzzed to life. “And you. I was wondering where you slithered to.”

There was a rumble from under Anthony and he felt the force supporting him up to now disappearing until he only felt the couch around him and nothing else. He blinked in confusion before his vision cleared enough to realize all the darkness around him was gone, but legs clothed in red were standing next to him instead. They definitely weren’t there prior to his meltdown, he remembered as much.

He rubbed his eyes and attempted to look up before it finally dawned on him that this was Alastor standing here, flesh and bone and he didn’t even need to get all the way up to his face.

“Look at you,” the voice sounded a little exasperated and human. There was no static whatsoever. “Dat’s da second time you did somethin’ like dis.”

“Hi, Al,” Anthony tried sheepishly, and a clawed hand pushed him back into the cushions when he tried to sit down. Maybe for the best, the floor seemed to wobble more than usual.

“Hi yo’self,” the human voice was so warm. Or maybe he was drunk enough to imagine it that way. “How’s dat you make my shadow to just go and disappear from ‘ell just fo’ you?”

“I guess he likes me,” Anthony slid down the armrest and finally took in the whole Alastor’s height, gazing at his face he couldn’t read even if he tried to. He watched the demon look around until he stopped at the corner where the bottle landed and fell apart and his eyebrows knitted together.

“Hey Al,” Anthony raised a hand and tried to grab at something of the mans’ but missed. He tried few more times but couldn’t decide which of the three Alastors were the right one, so he just fumbled around until Alastor took a pity on him and grabbed his hand in his, stilling him. Also, warm. So, so warm. “Do you ever hug people?”

“No,” the demon answered back simply. “Do you?”

Anthony took a breath with sure answer, then stopped and thought about it.

“…I guess not,” he conceded momentarily. “Nobody t’ hug, really.”

“D’you wanna hug?” came a question and Anthony looked at their joined hands and let out a long, tired sigh.

“Ya,” he croaked out. “I wanna hug. I dun even rememb’r who or when I hugged someb’dy last.”

“I think I hugged ma mum last,” Alastor slowly lowered himself on the couch, sitting at Anthony’s feet, his hand still gripping his prey tightly. “Long time ago.”

“Was she nice?” the human whispered softly.

“Very nice.”

“Do ya miss her?”

“Ev’ry day,” Alastor had the softest expression Anthony ever saw on him. It was almost painful to see and yet somehow beautiful it would be a waste not to look. He wondered if Alastor was ever in love with somebody other than his mum.

“She in heaven?” he asked gently and only got a nod as a response. He felt his head clearing a little and hoped he would remember this tomorrow as clearly as he saw it now. He tried to scramble up, though it probably was the least dignified climb he ever did and then shuffled close to the demon, sitting down with his knees almost touching Alastor’s thigh. Almost.

“Tell me ‘bout her,” he nudged him gently.

The demon tilted his head, the buzz of the static coming to life all of sudden it almost startled him. Probably not the best topic to breach, he realized and looked down at the clawed hand that was still holding his with surprising gentleness.

“Your shadow is pretty independent, huh,” he changed the topic for peace of mind of both of them, and the buzzing intensified. Fuck, not that either.

“My shadow has no filter,” the static voice rang out, the tenseness of Alastor’s smile indicating the situation bothered him more than he let on at first. “He does what feels right.”

So, it felt right for it to come here and comfort Anthony when he felt like shit and wanted to drink himself into stupor?

“It’s nice sometimes,” Anthony tried carefully. “To do what feels right instead of worryin’ ‘bout consequences.”

The static picked up in obvious disagreement and Alastor was glaring at him, his eyes redder than ever.

“Like you do all your miserable life?” the demon uttered venomously, and Anthony felt his heart drop into his stomach and dissolve. When Alastor let go of his hand and abruptly stood up, it felt so far away it could have been considered out of body experience for how cold it suddenly became.

“Well,” his mouth moved by some miracle, though he felt his lower lip quiver. “Some days are hard and lonely. And then I get called a slut at work and groped by random guys because they think they’re allowed, and I feel like I need a hug and safety, but nobody can give me what I want, so I cling to somethin’ that feels right at least a little, even though it’s not good… or healthy… or… “

Sincere and not a lie.

“Or I just wanna forget all that shit by doin’ more dumb shit, because… why not. At least it makes me free for a while, other than just… surviving,” he tried to take a breath but it came in wet and hiccup-y and he realized he was already crying like a pathetic fool thinking a demon could give a shit about anything more than the end of the deal and one more chess piece on his black and white board.

Fucking, stupid idiot, like always. Even though he knew. He knew.

The static was so loud now it made Anthony cover his ears and shut his eyes and he felt sick in the stomach and the fucking tequila wanted to fuck him up now, because why not now, at this exact moment, when everything else was falling apart.

Just go away, go the fuck away, leave me alone.

Then everything stopped. When Anthony opened his eyes, he was alone.

***

2020, January 18th

Anthony woke up on the couch with a crick in his neck and stomach unstable like nitro-glycerine ready to explode. The room smelled of tequila shots and vomit and heartbreak and his whole body was in weird, gut wrenching spasm.

He stared into the ceiling with a splitting headache and wished he’d draw a blank about last night, because nothing about this situation gave a merciful vibe, only bad, bad consequences.

Like Alastor leaving, angry and staticky and cruel.

“FUUUUCK!” he yelled into silence and then grabbed a pillow so he could shout in it again as loud as he could. Regret immediately followed, but he probably deserved to suffer a bit more than usual after a vicious hangover and a dealmaker break up.

Obviously Alastor thought Anthony’s life was miserable. Even Anthony knew it was miserable, he was living it, and he got it. He even made a deal with a devil to make himself less miserable which only added to the pathetic part of the diagnose, so in the end there was nothing much left of him but a huge, pitiful mess.

And Alastor got dragged right into it – a failure after failure, just picking him up with all those fake smiles to keep the deal going because at the end the reward was guaranteed, but it was pretty apparent the equation was not adding up and the result could never be good enough for the demon’s standards.

He just wondered if there was a way to break the deal anyhow, from the demon’s side. There was no way Alastor was coming back after all that, and if he was by some miracle, then only to deliver a killing blow, collecting the soul at least and then leaving him to get eradicated in hell like any other lesser shade.

He managed to drag himself to the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid for 27 minutes before deciding to make himself throw up rather than wait if it would come by itself. It didn’t make him feel any better, sadly, so he just took a shower to get rid of all the sweat and guilt (sadly didn’t work for that one) under streams of water and remained there with head pressed against tiles in hope he would melt through the drain.

Would be honestly quite helpful.

“Anthony?”

He blinked. Did he just hear his name or…?

“Anthony, my good fellow, are you still alive?” Again.

That was Alastor‘s voice. Anthony stared at the door of the shower stand, afraid to even make a sound until he heard his name called once more and that couldn’t be his imagination anymore, right?

“…yeah?” he made himself talk but refused to step out.

“Good! You are still here,” Alastor’s voice was closer now, probably in the hallway. “I am taking your kitchen for now, but please do join me at your convenience!”

Happy, loud voice. The fake cheeriness he heard few times and learned how to recognize – he usually acted like that when he was mad at Anthony for needless flirting but refused to show it.

It made no sense. Why was he here?

The water started to run cold and Anthony gritted his teeth and turned it off, just to carefully step out, bundle up in a towel and added a fluffy bathrobe before cautiously leaving the bathroom. Jazz was playing through the radio in the kitchen and Alastor was humming along while the sound of cutting and simmering added to the ambience.

Was he cooking?

The human stopped near the entrance to the living room and took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready to face him just yet, he still felt like a raw bundle of nerves on two wobbly feet. It was ridiculous – Alastor didn’t exactly do anything wrong. He just stated how things were, Anthony hadn’t been told for the first or last time in his life for sure. He had no right to be mad about the truth.

It was just… such a bad timing. After having a bad day, after going through a depressive episode where the self-loathing starred in the main role, then get this thrown in his face like a hot potato just hurt. Rightfully. But still hurt.

“Are you going to stand there all day?” the staticky voice interrupted his thoughts and the tone was much less cheery now. It made his stomach drop and he unconsciously took a step back. There was a clink sound of a knife being put down and then steps leading towards him, which immediately made him panic and he shut the door to the living room with a loud slam.

The steps halted.

“Should I leave?” Came a question from the other side of the door, loud and clear and scary.

“I don’t know,” Anthony answered back, his hands shaking. It sucked. He should not be this way; he didn’t make a deal for feeling worse than on his normal bad days. He made a deal to be lied to, to be coddled, and then to die and suffer for being a coward, and that was it.

“I will if you want me to,” Alastor said quietly. “I am not here to torture you. Or make you feel bad.”

Too late, bucko.

“I crossed a line yesterday.” It sounded suspiciously like an apology, Anthony thought. “I apologize for saying what I said.”

“What, the truth?” Anthony snorted and leaned against the closed door, eyebrows knitted together unhappily. “Ya don’t need to worry about that one.”

“It upset you.”

“That’s what the truth does.”

“Yes, agreed,” there was a hint of guilt in Alastor’s voice, no matter how he tried to hide it with his radio nonsense. “I was upset too. But still… I should not have lashed out like that.”

Upset?

Anthony turned his head, partly facing the door. What was even Alastor upset about? He just suddenly got all staticky in there, just because Anthony asked… about his mum?

“Because I asked about your mum?” he tried and Alastor on the other side sighed.

“I am going to open the door now,” he stated instead, and Anthony immediately caught the handle in refusal with an immediate no. “Anthony.”

“I don’t get ya,” the human groaned, holding the door closed like it was a lifeline. “I just don’t get ya, why are ya even here? Why were ye so mad yesterday? For a while ya were the nicest person in the whole fuckin’ world and then ya kicked me when I was already on the fuckin’ ground, so why now? Why pretend yer a nice guy when ye don’t care?”

Silence.

“Just because I asked ‘bout her? Ya think it’s somethin’ I can hold against ya in hell or what?” He had no idea if Alastor was still even there. It was deadly silent on the other side, he probably just poofed out of thin air again rather than listen to this.

“No,” sounded behind him all of sudden and it made him curse loudly when he suddenly faced Alastor in his red shirt, with coat nowhere to be seen, his sleeves rolled up and his face not smiling at all. If anything, he actually looked quite hurt.

Fucking filthy lying bastard, that one. Actor worthy of a Golden Globe.

“That’s cheatin’,” Anthony scoffed but Alastor didn’t seem to mind it. He wasn’t immediately in his personal bubble, but he wasn’t far either and it made Anthony unable to collect his thoughts properly. All he wanted was to shout and maybe smack him a bit too. But the demon could bite his arms off, so he refrained from doing anything but glare.

“You seem to like my shadow much better,” Alastor said evenly.

Anthony didn’t get how that was relevant to anything.

“He likes to hug,” he said lamely.

“You like him because he hugs you?” Alastor’s expression morphed into a surprise and Anthony really didn’t get why was he asking about his shadow now of all times.

“Wha… who cares?” he stared at the demon, hating he felt cornered like an animal. “How’s yer shadow even relevant to this conversation?”

“I thought you were asking why I was upset,” Alastor looked away for a while, a strangely nervous gesture. “Therefore, I’m telling you.”

“Because I seem to like yer shadow better?” Anthony almost lost his jaw for how low it dropped and holy fucking shit, was Alastor fidgeting? Was he for real? Was it some refined plan for Anthony to drop his defences again? To act cute as fuck?

His fucking ears were droopy too, Anthony realized, his eyes glued to the top of the demon’s head. No. no no no. This couldn’t be real.

“Are you fuckin’ with me?”

“Since I made a deal with you,” Alastor ignored the question, but still avoided his eyes. “I felt like I lack complete control for some reason. It makes me uneasy when things do not work the way they are supposed to. The way I want them to.”

At that moment it finally hit him.

“You didn’t order yer shadow to come here even once,” Anthony stated, and the static crackled again until Alastor shook his head to get rid of it. Oh. He really didn’t like when things were out of his reach. And his shadow just fucking off to visit the human must have been one of them, especially yesterday.

“But… but you can’t blame me for that?” the human insisted, his eyes wide. “It’s not like I called him here or…”

“Of course not,” Alastor let out a sigh. “He just acts on his feelings.”

“Your shadow likes me?”

“You keep referring to him like he is a completely different person,” the demon crossed his arms on his chest. His forearms were scarred and for some reason showing that bit of skin now seemed like a big step for the man, though Anthony wouldn’t really call him vulnerable. Still scary as fuck.

Silence. Alastor tilted his head to the side, then pursed his lips and looked away again.

“He is not,” he added for good measure. “We are the same being.”

Anthony gaped.

“He has no filter,” he repeated, the conversation yesterday so clear even despite his drunken state, and the more he was staring at Alastor in front of him, the more the demon in red seemed to fluster.

“I, for one,” the demon finally spoke, “have tons of filters. We seem to disagree when it comes to you. On how to… handle you.”

Full body hug versus five foot rule is a pretty wide gap, Anthony mused, still gaping.

“I was unfair yesterday,” Alastor cleared his throat. “You are not… well, of course you are pretty miserable, honestly,” he looked him over, and yeah, okay, fair. He must have looked like complete shit with the hangover, now bundled up in fluffiness of the bathrobe. “There’s no denying it, and you are at least aware of it. But that was not supposed to make you feel bad. It is why we are going to fix this. Eventually.”

“Fix…?” Anthony repeated, not being able to get his expression under control.

“Yes. And then you will die and that would be it, but that is not important right now,” Alastor shook his head again, his voice softer. “Now… you are alive. And you need me.”

“Cocky, aren’t ya,” Anthony sniffed a little. “Mr. Control Freak.”

“At least I don drink tequila like a savage,” Alastor scoffed, the static dropping from his voice like a curtain. “No class at all, cher.”

“Bite me,” Anthony flipped him off and finally opened the door to the living room. Somehow it felt like a gateway where his insecurity had no way to pass and when he walked through, his chest was not so tight anymore.

Then he realized there was a dead deer in the living room, and he hurled out the rest of his stomach contents.

“Tu as fait un gâchis,” Alastor said and went back to the kitchen.

No. No nice things. Alastor was a fucking freak.

#hazbin hotel #radiodust #alastor x angel dust #au #the deal series #human!Angel Dust

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akhilaous-a · 4 years ago

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Or the Star Wars writer's don't "acknowledge" disabilities because they're still people? That they can still do stuff as non-disabled people? I know people who don't let disabilities stand in their way. They just get over it and get on with their lives. No one bugs them over it. I work with a few disabled people, actually at my supermarket. No one bats an eye at them. They can still do stuff like before. They're not letting their disability stand in their way. Maybe you should do the same?

so usually i just delete hate/nonsense after screencapping and making fun of the message with my friends

but. i wanna know what kind of brainrot you have that you see a post by a disabled person (that's me, i'm the disabled person) that you do not follow (which is clear by the fact that it's been at least 24 hours since the last time that post was on my followers' dashes) talking about ableism, right? which is fucking rampant, by the way, because nobody except disabled people and our loved ones actually give a shit about ableism, because we're not seen as people.

so you see this post, and it makes you just so mad, because like so many bigots, you don't see disabled people as people. and you've known a few disabled people in passing (because you obviously do not have close friendships with a disabled person, otherwise you would not act like this) and they don't trust you enough to actually tell you about their experiences as a disabled person in a world that is literally constantly trying to erase and murder them (because death is better than life as a disabled person, according to many) so you think that somehow you, an abled person, have any right to try to talk over someone's experiences. because, again, you do not see disabled people as people.

so you go "i am going to go to this person's inbox, and send them an ask, and i am going to jump through the ridiculous hoops that tumblr has put in place to send people asks, because i'm a terrible person" and you send me a paragraph of ableist nonsense. and that's what you decided to do? okay.

frankly, i don't know what i expected from a fandom where some of the biggest hobbies are "let's ship women with their abusers" and "let's ship master/padawan ships" and "well hang on, maybe the group that's a literal nazi allegory weren't so bad, actually" but like. lol

okay! now that i've made fun of you for four paragraphs, let's break it down point by point. (don’t worry, i’m still going to be making fun of you throughout the rest of this <3)

"star wars writers don't acknowledge disabilities because they're still people"

disabled people, shockingly enough, are people. we deserve to exist. we deserve to see ourselves reflected in media. (and as one of my friends said, it's absurd to imagine you making this argument about another oppressed minority. "well, we erase the bit they face discrimination for because they're still people" are you joking?)

"they can still do stuff as non-disabled people"

firstly the word you're looking for is "able bodied" and secondly yes, disabled people are capable of doing things... but we still deserve to exist as disabled people, and we shouldn't be forced to hide our disabilities in order to make people feel good about themselves.

"i know people who don't let disabilities stand in their way"

personal anecdote time: there was a period of my life, roughly three years ago, where i very much bought into the "not like OTHER disabled people" bullshit. this caused me to do things such as hiking long trails, ignoring the fact that my body was literally screaming in agony the entire time, and kayaking long rivers, ignoring the fact that my hip and shoulders kept dislocating and were, as before, sending pain signals throughout my entire body. i did this because i thought i needed to. i did this because i had some very deeply embedded internalized ableism. so if you know people who "don't let disabilities stand in their way" and are proud of it, they have internalized ableism.

"they just get over it and get on with their lives"

shit, dude, you're so right. i'm so sorry. lemme just get over my disability and get on with my life. bye bye, wheelchair! hello, the rest of my life! ableist piece of shit.

"no one bugs them over it"

i literally guarantee that people do "bug them over it" because ableism is so deeply rooted in our society that most people are ableist. like, you literally cannot escape ableism.

"i work with a few disabled people at my supermarket"

aha! so you WORK with disabled people, which proves that us useless cripples who don't have a job are just not TRYING hard enough to be useful cogs in capitalism's machine! maybe if we tried harder to overcome our disabilities, we too can be a member of a glorious capitalist society! you're not supposed to deepthroat the boot, jackass.

"no one bats an eye at them"

again, i guarantee that that isn't the case. abled people are obsessed with either desperately trying to prove that they see us poor cripples as actual people OR with trying to pretend they don't see us at all.

"they can still do stuff like before"

i feel like i've heard this one already.....

"they're not letting their disability stand in their way"

i DEFINITELY have heard this one before, but this time i get to point out that "not letting their disability stand in their way" with direct reference with having to work in order to survive in this capitalist hellscape... shouldn't be the argument you want to make. ditto with the "don't deepthroat the boot, jackass"

"maybe you should do the same"

i literally did, actually, not that i have to justify myself to an ableist piece of shit like you. not only did i literally call myself an "adventurous cripple" but i also had a job! a job that i am 100% confident worsened my disability. up until a little over a year and a half ago, i used a cane to walk and to work. having a job (and needing to walk to and from work) worsened my body to the point that i had to quit my job (which, by the way, i actually really enjoyed) because my disability got to the point where i could no longer walk for more than about ten feet. so i started using my wheelchair every day instead of just when it was unbearable, and funnily enough my quality of life got better. "not letting my disability stand in my way" actively worsened my quality of life, and accepting my disability and changing my life to reflect that made me feel like i had a life worth living again.

so in conclusion: fuck you.

#✗ a witch kissed me and cursed me to always be right about everything — ooc.#ableism #long post #being disabled in fandom spaces fucking sucks.#Anonymous

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mysaldate · 5 years ago

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On the topic of BSD mental issues..

Because a lot of people in this fandom just LOVE to bestow their own mental problems on characters and even go so far as to claim not a single BSD character is mentally alright, I went on a little rant to debunk this bulshit of a claim. If you’re one of those who support the “everyone is mentally ill because I said so” theory, don’t even bother reading this, please, and save us both the time.

If you do read, however, please keep in mind those are just my opinions and analysis and why I personally find the claim that everyone is mentally ill bulshit. You’re free to believe what you want but I’ve had multiple people come spurting out insults at me simply for not believing every single character is mentally diasbled.

First, our beloved ADA Atsushi - He's actually doing really well. Sure, he's not 100% ok but we were given no serious childhood trauma impacts (except for flashbacks that don't really... do anything to him mentally except for motivating him to do better which is, you know, not a sign of mental illness), he doesn't have self-destructive tendencies, he doesn't feel like he owes the society anything but he doesn't slip to nihilism either. His motivations are humane and sane and relatable. I mean, if anyone told you your friends would be in mortal danger if you stay with them, wouldn't you try to get away from them too? Dazai - Ok, Dazai is far from stable. He still handles his issues surprisingly well though and his constant suicide attempts are really played off as a joke, which is not the best way to handle them but it takes a lot of seriousness from it and kind of makes it hard to believe it's what he actually wants to do with his life. Especially since there are times where he goes out of his way to make sure he stays alive (Dead Apple being just one example). Kunikida - Arguably one of the most stable characters in the show. Some people claim he has OCD but have you ever seen an actual OCD patient? His love for schedules and hard time when they can't be kept is something that runs in my family and nobody has ever been diagnosed with OCD. People need to realize that having your life planned out is not a mental illness. Yosano - I'm a little more benevolent about Yosano, especially since she has a more psychotic side to her and she seems actually damaged by her childhood but I stiil stand my point that she is doing extremely well for someone who supposedly has a mental illness. It's almost as if the "insane" side of her was purposedly overblown for comedic purposes. Ranpo - I know a lot of people say he's autistic but I don't agree with that hc. Why? Well, I have a classmate who's not autistic and she's exactly like him. She's smart, almost genius, has great deduce skills and brilliant crime-solving abilities (tested multiple times with Black Stories or whatever that game is called in english) but she is unable to live on her own. She knows close to nothing about real life, skills used for everyday functioning and as for public transport, she only learnt how to use it recently and she's almost 19 years old. I also have an autistic friend who specifically said he'd find it insulting to hear that Ranpo is supposedly autistic. Tanizaki - I'm not sure what to say here, Tanizaki is a normal guy. Nothing special about him. He's willing to go great lengths for his little sister but I think anyone with younger siblings can relate to that. At least anyone who cares for their younger siblings. Kenji - Go on and tell me how Kenji of all people has a mental illness, I dare you. And if you pull out his cheeriness, you're obviously just too depressed to fathom that some people might actually enjoy life. Fukuzawa - Again, one of the most stable characters in the series. Say what you will but he's not unstable and his ability to stay calm at almost any situation except for when his kids are in danger is just further proof of this. Kyouka - I'd say she might have issues. My afforementioned autistic classmate pointed out that she feels autistic to him so there's that. Also her childhood visibly screwed her over. However, she's still surprisingly stable and normal despite all of that so while she might have some issues, they are greatly balanced by her strong will and natural personality. Naomi - I wouldn't say Naomi is 100% ok in the head but not to a point where I'd claim an actual mental illness. Sure, I'm not a doctor but nor is anyone who diagnoses her with whatever it is they diagnose her with. Haruno - And exactly what is wrong about Haruno? She's cute, positive, cheery, hard-working and supportive. And she gets scared in situations that invoke this. Literally NOTHING weird.

Next up is our dear Port Mafia Akutagawa - No denying it, Aku has serious issues. Again though, he's doing far better than most people with similar problems but that could just be due to him letting his frustrations out via murder. Chuuya - No issue found here. Sure, he's a little short-tempered but that's about it. A lot of people are short-tempered without being mentally ill. And he could be portrayed with some serious issues due to his origin and past. Gin - Do we even know enough about her to diagnoze her? All we know is that she's silent, a little shy and that she's always on odds with Tachihara. Make me a diagnosis from that. Higuchi - Aside from her massive crush on Aku, there's nothing weird about her. She probably picked the wrong job but she's willing to work hard anyway to earn her place there,, which is not exactly typical for people with mental illnesses. Hirotsu - STABLE PERSON. Just... what else is there to him? He is literally the voice of reason who commands the black lizard solely because he can actually keep them under control. Geez, there is literally nothing linking him to any mental problem! Kajii - This guy's got issues, no denying it. And I won't even say he could do worse because obviously he could but he's fairly close to being the insanest (is that a word?) he can get. Kouyou - Oh look, ANOTHER completely stable person. I mean, come on, she's been an executive since Dazai and Chuuya were 15, that's seven years. Clearly she couldn't hold her position if she weren't stable. Not to mention, we saw her being stable in stressing situations so. many. times. Elise - She's an ability. No comment. Mori - Yes, he has his issues. But he's the hypercompetent Mafia boss who stayed in charge for a very long time already and there's no sign of anyone overthrowing him any time soon, nor planning to because he's just a great leader, something he couldn't be if he was mentally ill. Oda - Do I even need to elaborate on this? Oda is very probably the sanest person we got, one who sees the wrongs of his past and does his best to overcome them and repent, all of which goes without him being depressed or self-loathing in the slightest. Randou - This has been talked about a lot. Randou is sensitive and impulsive and sometimes acts on emotions rather than rationallity. None of that makes him a mentally ill person. It just makes him a person, a human being we can all relate to. Ace - Ace is a selfish human being who thinks too highly of himself and is manipulative and abusive. Is that a problem? Yes, obviously. Is that a mental illness? Not necessarily and more likely no than yes. He does things for his personal gain and everything went his way for far too long for him to expect it to go any other way. And as we all know, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutelly. Q - Does anyone really think Q is sane?

Now for the group that so many people dislike it’s honestly sad, the Guild Francis - Francis is, first and foremost, a very loving husband and father. He goes on this insane mission to Japan to obtain a mystical object he believes is real but never got any deffinite proof of. Is he naive? Perhaps so. And after he loses, he gets depressed and broken because he finds out his wedding ring disappeared, probably because his wife did something. That breaks him. And honestly? He has every right to break down. It's understandable and human and it does not make him mentally ill. Louisa - While yes, she is very shy and some argue she has some sort of anxiety disorder, all of this can be explained by the fact that she's practically a child. She's 18 dammit. Who could leave their home country at 18 only with an organization of older people, who also all seem very sure of themselves, while having no combat ability and nothing to really bring to the table? If she were mentally weak, there's no way she'd go looking for Francis after his fall, it's actually more likely she'd hurry back home, probably with tears and fear of being arrested if she were to stay in Japan for longer. Margaret - Name me one thing that makes you think Margaret of all people would have a mental issue. One thing. Most of her screentime is her being a vegetable. And while that is certainly a health problem, not a mental health one. Nathaniel - Hey, he was completely ok before meeting Fyodor. Being religious is not a mental health problem and f you if you say otherwise. John - Again, nothing unstable about John. He's not even that selfish, doing what he can to support his family and even picking up the remainings of the Guild to keep the people together and give them new hope because, y'know, hope is very important to people. Lovecraft - He's not even human. You can't apply human mental health logic to him. Herman - We've seen him for how much... 2 minutes total? And even from just that, he seemed like a calm and composed guy. No sign of mental problems whatsoever. Mark - He's hyper, that's what people say at least. But is he really? Kind of hard to believe when all we've seen of him is two scenes of adrenalin rush, one scene where he tries to lift the spirits of his coworkers and one scene where he just decides to go back home because this adventure is obviously over. No sign of mental illness here either. Lucy - A little more visible traumatic impact than with Atsushi and some abandonment issues, which are completely understandable and relatable. Not necessarily a mental illness. Poe - Ok so Poe doesn't feel well in company of others and he is a little psychotic when he gets too into his self-assigned role but 1) introverts are not mentally ill and 2) it's completely natural to get carried away when we witness the person we believe wronged us getting some karma back.

The one group that appeared for such a short time, yet everyone seems to love them, the Rats Fyodor - The most obvious god complex, clearly. He's not sane but he's stable so there's that. Nobody says he's ok, he's clearly not. But he's composed and smart enough to not let his issues control him. Ivan - Part of his brain is literally gone. He's not ok. he can't be. And unless part of your brain is missing too, you physically can't relate to him. Pushkin - Actually a stable, understandable character. Weak men are known through all of history to be the causes of major drama simply because their complexes over being weak lead to them finding joy in torturing the strong. It's not a mental illness, it's just bad character. Oguri - Clearly, Ogugu has issues. Call it survivor's guilt or PTSD or whatever you want, he has issues. Nobody is denying that. Still, he's doing fairly well when not desperatelly trying to seem evil.

I do not feel like doing the Hunting Dogs for the sole reason of me not liking them enough to focus on their mental states but they are pretty much lab rats, artificially enhanced humans and that alone should be enough to explain why I don’t believe in applying normal psychology to them. As for the Decay of Angels, there’s still much more to learn about them so I won’t get into that just yet. And when it comes to the governmental agents, I haven’t read the novels so I only know a bit about Ango and I honestly don’t see how anyone could think Ango has a mental illness.

I repeat again, these are my opinions, based on my experiences and what I’ve studied about mental illnesses (because believe it or not, I study about these things quite a lot). It doesn’t fit except for Tumblr romanticised versions of them and even those are iffy. You’re free to agree and disagree with all of this or with just certain parts but please don’t feel required to share your thoughts, I frankly don’t much care.

With that I bid you goodbye, at least until another thing prompts me to make a long-ass analysis almost nobody will read, nor care for.

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migleefulmoments · 5 years ago

Note

So... Abby responds to her family's intervention by obediently telling them she'll stop (ie. lying to them). She then immediately tries to find ways to keep the blog in secret, hiding behind various usernames, lurking on her coven's blogs, more time deleting posts from both blogs we know about. Meaning, instead of getting help, she spends even MORE time online engaging in more batshit crazy crap to cover her ass. Yeah, sure, that doesn't signal dire need for mental health intervention AT ALL.

It looks like that is what is happening. We will have to see what the future holds. What does Abby do?

So far the fandom is flailing. Cassie got a couple of anons- one that reads like those anons Abby used to send herself as it covers all the issues they are most upset about so perfectly well (My comments in parenthesis and italicized::

Anonymous asked: Even if I am unsure about CC itself, I don't buy M*arr*n. I just don't. And the other side is using doxing and the fact that you and others say things they don't like about M as an excuse to do so and as a way to detract from the fact that their couple goals have some pretty big, glaring plot holes in their love story. I've not seen anyone on this side of the fandom out or dox anyone publicly as a way of humiliation. M gave up her privacy by dating D, but Abby didn't and they were wrong. Period.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, I swear every time they diagnose us as mentally ill or say we’re bitter hags, an LGBTQ angel gets his or her wings. We all know my beliefs, but there are MANY people that are like you and don’t know for sure about CC but sure as hell know Miarren isn’t a normal, healthy relationship. (Funny thing, I don’t remember anyone diagnosing Cassie as mentally ill. Cassie is alwasy the wallflower that nobody wants to dance with and she tries so hard to be part of the fun people. Last week she was sad because I hadn’t sent her a “hate” message (See comment in last post below)

Even if I remove D from the situation, I would still think M is a lazy, spoiled toddler with no discernable work ethic coupled with a superiority complex that rivals the Cheeto in Command of the US.

You are absolutely correct. Our fandom just wants to be left alone. We don’t send hateful asks to the other side. We don’t have to. They feel they have the right to dox CCers because they don’t like what we say about M, a woman that would light a cigarette from the flames engulfing them and not call 911 to help them. I mean, honestly, it doesn’t get much lower than mocking someone’s death. Plus, as you correctly said, M put herself in the spotlight “dating” D. If she didn’t want that attention, she would have stayed in the background. There are plenty of celebrities married to non famous people and we don’t see them at every event like we do M. (It is BAFFLING to me that they can’t comprhend something as simple and obvious as the reasaon they “see Mia everywhere” is because they fucking stalk her and they hyperanalzye every photo Darren is in looking for her. If they started stalking Ben Feldman they would see his wife just as much as they see Mia).

Bottom line is what they did to Abby was deplorable, but, just like their kween, they feel justified in doing whatever they want. This isn’t the first time they’ve crossed a line with regards to my friend, but it was the worst.

notes-from-nowhere Anon, they love to throw the guilt of their actions on our shoulders, it’s how they justify what they do to themselves. They need us to be the bad guys otherwise what is the only option left? (I never know what the hell Notes is trying to say- throw the guilt of our actions on their shoulders? I’d love an example of that. I can’t imagine what guilty action I put on their shoulder. As for needing them to be the bad guys or what do we have left? OMFG are you kidding me? We critcize the cc fandom for being misogynistic, homophobic, bullies who attack Mia, Darren, Ricky and their own Nonnies. They have viscioulsy attacked people in their own fandom who dared to question them. But the biggest reason we push back is because THEY LIE. All the damn time. So what do we have left? Being on the right side, being correct, not lying, not needing to lie, and the joy of watching Darren live his best life)

Leka got a couple of asks but her answers were weak, confusing and pointless. It’s clear she isn’t ready to take over as their leader. She repeated Abby’s main talking points, tried to use big words to sound smarter and basically ended up not making a lot of sense:

Anonymous asked: I could be wrong, and I hope I am, but I think the character on the HW poster holding the girl is D's character, it would fit if you look at the other guys on the poster, maybe this is already the first hint to show D's character is not gay and so technically not breaking the no more queer roles rule his team set for him. It won't make it any better because it's still a career on the bag of LGBTQ+ people with it's teams but it's technically not a broken rule. I just really need for things to change, I want them to so bad, it kills me seeing someone so kind in a situation like that, and I truly believe D is one of the kindest people in that horrible town. He deserves better than M, I wouldn’t even mind if he goes onto another beard but she and RR just need to go. I really think it’s crazy people still think everything HW is real and PR relationships don’t exist, I wished that place was just better and had a moral compass, people deserve more it kind of shows just how jaded this situation has made me, I can’t even enjoy amazing promo material without directly twisting it into something negative, I don’t want to be this way and if I feel like this I can’t even imagine how D must feel. He is stronger than I’ll ever be living through hell every day, even if he’s not ok he’s still here and holding on, I don’t know if I could in his position. Sorry for the long message and the unneeded negativity, I guess I just had to vent a little

*********************************

Leka answered: So let’s look at the way HW is described:

“Each character offers a unique glimpse behind the gilded curtain of Hollywood’s Golden Age, spotlighting the unfair systems and biases across race, gender and sexuality that continue to this day. Provocative and incisive, HOLLYWOOD exposes and examines decades-old power dynamics, and what the entertainment landscape might look like if they had been dismantled.”

I do consider this the very intriguing thing about the news. (And it just goes to show that believing everything you’re sold is being utterly and completely ignorant.) Let’s say you’re right because ofc it’s possible. How does R/aymond fit in here? Given the excessive way team shit has pushed that article, a technicality won’t be good enough. There has to be a better plan. This doesn’t match what’s been said in his name.

What I think is this doesn’t necessarily have to mean much. You know very well what you see doesn’t have to be the (full) truth. That doesn’t just apply to the real HW. Especially considering the time period of this show. And let’s not forget the pap pics we got at a gas station. This doesn’t rule out SB as an inspiration. I would advise anyone to read up on him. We don’t know at this point. As we keep saying, the best thing to do is to wait and see. I’m certainly interested in finding out more.

As time goes on, the danger of this situation keeps becoming even clearer to me. D deserves much, much better. He’s incredibly strong, but the most toxic person in his life needs to go and she’s more than welcome to take the jumping jackass with her. That’s definitely the most important thing right now. (I’m curious what the danger of Hollywood is?)

awesome-fanfictionada: @leka-1998I’m just wondering - it must have been D who got himself this job on HW, right? Couldn’t this have been done on purpose to counter that ridiculous statement - which wasn’t even accurate, if the source was that interview where he stated that he wouldn’t want to be a casting director? Could in this case RM be a friend?

leka-1998: @awesome-fanfictionada Yes, he did that himself. Again. And he said the show’s been sold late in 2018. According to an article that came out later, it happened in February 2019. Not true.

HW has been a thing before that statement was made, which is indeed very different from the answer D himself gave during the interview. That’s what makes the article seem like sabotage by team shit. And standing in RM’s way is never a good idea. So while I will obviously never like him, I’m reserving judgment on his current role until we know more.

Anonymous asked: The underlying issue in general is really that social media has made it so people think they get an accurate glimpse into the lives of celebrities, when in reality social media, like everything else that is publicly released about them, is used as a marketing tool. People are actually more inauthentic than they've ever been because they feel pressure to maintain a certain image for social media at all times. So anyone who decides D is living honestly, it's because they want to believe he is.

Leka: True, nonnie. Just look at the text lines that are becoming more popular again. Not nearly as genuine as people want to believe. In D’s case, what has to be brought up? M. Oh Halloween and her amazing shopping skills praised on SM. The work fam honeymoon pic promoting the place they stayed at. Coa/chella for the H&M ad. Mardi Gras posted shortly after the mockery to promote the designer. I could obviously go on. Most of what we see on SM shows the person the 10 year crew wants him to be. And what looks like a split personality if you compare certain posts. Which brings me back to ‘they want to believe’, as what you’re saying clearly isn’t a secret. Anyone can choose to ignore it but at this point, if that’s the case even though you’re more or less paying attention, it’s really a conscious decision.

Oh btw, there’s a HW IG account now and it already has a D follow. Imagine that. R/oyalties co-stars, anyone?

Flowers didn’t get any asks. Amazing since she has more followers than I do and she bragged about getting more “notes” than me. She did answer azscc who posted an odd rant that baffles me. Who the fuck is azscc and who is posting anything about her? I realize I am not the only person in this fandom posting about ccers But I just checked all the blogs that I know of and nobody is talking about her;

azsc its so weird how chillarrens call me a bully while i only say something rude towards them if they write bullshit towards me. and its just ironic how chillarrens go around calling people bullies while they are the reason why tons of cc accounts use their accounts private or don’t post their opinions and etc. the real threat to the fandom are people like you. so instead of going around throwing shit on people and calling them “mental, delusional...” get a life. no cc believer goes around hunting for chillarren pics and insult the account owner so why don’t you all grow up and realize no one has to agree with your opinions. every crisscolfer blog/twitter page/insta acc basically stan accs never asked for your opinions on their pages so why don’t you just let it go? no one cares about what you all say or do so why are you forcing it this much?

call me a bully i am pretty much okay with that. its obvious that people are unable to understand basic sarcasm and irony and i am not judging because to actually understand what people say you have to at least have an average IQ level. and if you don’t have it, it’s okay but that doesn’t mean you can twist people’s words and post them all over the internet. but its lowkey really funny that i only had my instagram acc for something like 4/5 months and i received over 300 hate/insult/blackmail/death wish messages and etc. and who are you people to call us bullies? (Nobody is a Chillarren. Darren and Mia are married and Chris and Will are in a long-term relationsihp, Nobody has to “ship” them in order to believe they are together. In America, we accept that when someone introduces their wife or their boyfriend they are telling the truth. It is customary to address that person as their wife or boyfriend respectively. The crisscolfers on the other hand, must use a fandom ship name because they are shipping two people who are not in a relationship and never were. All evidence indicates Chris and Darren are no long friends; they are nothing more than former co-workers-friendly and polite when they see one another but no longer involved in one another’s lives. Chris and Darren both have denied (more than once) that the were ever in a relationship). .

flowersintheattic254 I have never in my whole time here posted an anon to a Miarren account. I have no desire to. I’m confident in my beliefs.

The interesting thing for me is that I’ve been here for about four years now and in that time I’ve seen the head of the fandom disappear, other people disappear because their families have been doxed, established long-term cc blogs with a wealth of history deleted without warning. I myself have had my daughters threatened. This sort of stuff doesn’t happen anywhere in the fandom but here here. If we are a bunch of delusional crazy middle-aged women then this shouldn’t happen. (Who was doxed? Who dissappered? It’s all “liar liar” with everything ccers say. In the last 4 years Abby has been the only leader of the cc fandom. Michelle left between 4 and 5 years ago because her outrageious cc comments threatened her ability to raise money for her little Klaine-fanfic rip-off movie. I vaguely remember someone asking flowers how her daugther’s would feel if they read what she writes- hardly a threat. If there was something more she never posted any proof. As for blogs being deleted- so was D-Criss News. It happens. The only cc blog that I know of that disappeared was DisneyPrincessModelWorld’s original blog which had was a hot mess of lies and catfishing. She visciously bullied Mia. Hardly someone to mourn their blog being deleted).

It’s shocking that an actor may lgbt causes such drama. (HUH?)

Flower’s comment is so disingenuous. While it is technically true -she hasn’t sent me anons, she HAS instead publically ridiculed me and frankly, I can’t see how that is any different? I’d say it’s worse because they wanted their followers to see what they wrote and the only way to ensure that is to post it on their blogs. Flowers and Abby posted many public “Michy” posts. Here is her most recent:

flowersintheattic254Oh and I guess Michy sent us all some hate today.

I guess I have way more followers than you and only about 4 that send hate. You haven’t for ages.

I think I have over 70,000 hits currently to my blog. I must be saying something interesting.

He’s been married allegedly for a year and people still doubt. That’s gotta hurt you. Anyway......

✌️

ajw720 Michy told me today today that the outing couldn’t possibly be promo, because JS was only cast in September! What a moron who clearly doesn’t know how HW works. Sweetheart, it was ANNOUNCED in September;)

I was waiting for a few more months, but in 4 years, since i have been tracking, i have almost a million! (976,695 to be precise).

It is amazing that so many people care about what us bat shit crazy, irrelevant, psychologically unstable, threatening, hateful tin hats have to say! And that does not include people reading on their dash or that hit you on the app! So yep, Michy, clearly what we are saying is being monitored by someone. And clearing making people think!! But you keep wasting your time writing for your audience of 4:)

cassie102 I feel left out, Michy didn't come at me today. Must hurt like hell knowing you're a joke that perpetuates a bigger joke.

leka-1998 Birds of a fake feather flock together. When the right person says tomorrow’s Christmas, tomorrow’s Christmas. Get ready, everyone.

If I narrow it down to the last six months, about 10,000 btw. Hm strange.

flowersintheattic254 @ajw720 the number of hits you have give me oxygen. If Michy thinks they are haters then she is delusional. People know when they are being sold something fake and they look for answers.

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ladyanatui · 5 years ago

Text

Daiken Ultimate Playlist, Pt. 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This is the abridged version of my Spotify playlist for all things Daiken, organized from the start of 02 to…eventually.

Part 4 specifically covers from the episode where Paildramon first evolves to Imperialdramon through the end of the series (ignoring the epilogue obviously).

TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses depression, suicide, emotional abuse, and PTSD quite a lot. Take care of yourselves, folks!

Spotify Playlist

Click the song titles for YouTube links (apparently you can’t have more than five videos in a post), and otherwise, enjoy me rambling about Daiken.

One final note: Within the lyrics, I’ve emphasized meaningful words, such as night/nightmare, dark/darkness, miracle(s), kind/kindness, courage/bravery, friend/friendship, sun/star/light, fire/burn/ignite, angel(s), and words related to water/drowning.

“Take on the World” by You Me at Six

And it's the fight, and the fight of our lives You and I, we were made to thrive And I am your future, I am your past Never forget that we were built to last Step out of the shadows and into my life Silence the voices that haunt you inside

And just say the word, we'll take on the world And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst Nobody knows you the way that I know you Look in my eyes, I will never desert you And just say the word, we'll take on the world

While the lyrics lend themselves to describe Daisuke and Ken’s relationship in general, I specifically associate this with episode 39 when the Chosen Children meet with Gennai at Koushiro’s and Daisuke goes to Tamachi to help Ken. This is the episode where Paildramon first evolves to Imperialdramon, who incidentally can fly fast enough to go around the world in seconds (why they didn’t just use him to destroy all the Dark Towers instead of splitting up, I’ll never know), and the next three episodes are the World Tour sequence.

But most importantly, this is episode marks the first time that Ken calls Daisuke by his first name. It’s a really big moment, especially for Ken, who has so much trouble getting close to people. And then, you know, they go pick up the rest of the group in Imperialdramon and literally take on the world (tour).

“Satellite” by Starset

Satellite Shine on me tonight I will be your gravity I will stay and never leave My satellite Are you here tonight? Shine your light and set me free Take the darkness out of me Shine on me

Because Starset only writes songs about space and the sun is a star, a lot of their lyrics are applicable to Daisuke and Ken. I’m not sure I really need to explain this one. The lyrics say enough.

“Enemy” by Eve 6

The autumn sun burning logic in my brain I'm asking why there is pleasure when there's pain I'm here to pay for my mistakes in a humiliating manner If there is a next time, I'll cover up I feel alone, I feel shaky and uncertain A kind man shakes my hand and draws the curtain In a word he saves my life, and then I exit out the enter door and smile

Okay, so then we skip over the World Tour because they’re separated for those three episodes. And what comes next?

Three of my favorite episodes in the season!

Demon/Daemon happens. Buses of children about to die happens. Oikawa kidnapping kids happens. And of course, Ken opening the gate to the Dark World happens.

This one focuses on Ken and his decision to go with Oikawa in an effort to the protect the kidnapped children. He knows how dangerous it is, he knows he’s being manipulated and used, but he has to go because there are young children who’ve been manipulated as well and need his help. (The final two lines of the quote refer to Daisuke when he finally manages to rescue him, but the following songs go in between.)

“Don’t Let Me Down” by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya

Crashing, hit a wall Right now I need a miracle Hurry up now, I need a miracle Stranded, reaching out I call your name but you're not around I say your name but you're not around

I need you, I need you, I need you right now Yeah, I need you right now So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down

While Oikawa has him prisoner, literally tied up (which doesn’t seem to bother any of the kids who insist they weren’t kidnapped? what?), who do you think he hopes comes to save him?

Yep, it’s Daisuke.

Okay, he calls for Wormmon too, but Daisuke is first. Because Daisuke is his knight in shining armor, and he knows Daisuke will not rest until he has Ken safe again. He has such utter faith in him, and it’s beautiful. (And I probably don’t need to point out that the song says “I need a miracle” and the fact that Daisuke is the only person who uses the Digimental of Miracles and that miracles has basically become synonymous with Daisuke in the fandom, right?)

“The Last of the Real Ones” by Fall Out Boy

I was just an only child of the universe And then I found you You are the sun and I am just the planets Spinning around you You were too good to be true Gold plated But what's inside you I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you But not as much as I do

And here’s another song that puts Daisuke in the role of being the sun with Ken revolving around him and, of course, in the role of Ken’s savior. It’s a pretty damn accurate depiction of their relationship and of how Ken views Daisuke. As the leader of the 02 Chosen Children, Daisuke is a source of hope for the whole world, though, and while Ken certainly doesn’t begrudge the world for needing Daisuke (he is the one who basically saves the day by being his normal optimistic self in the final episodes), I’m not so sure he wants to share.

“Tidal Wave” by Owl City

I forget the last time I felt brave I just recall insecurity 'Cause it came down like a tidal wave And sorrow swept over me Then I was given grace and love I was blind, but now I can see 'Cause I've found a new hope from above And courage swept over me

This song always stands out to me on the playlist because it directly mentions depression and also uses water metaphors to describe things. Between Oikawa and Demon, Ken is absolutely terrified, and even though he’s helped the Chosen Children throughout the previous fifteen episodes or so, he has cast himself in this role of being very insecure and needing to make amends. But it’s finally time for him to start to truly move on from his past and accept that not everything was his fault. Part of that means facing Oikawa, who manipulated him into becoming the Digimon Kaiser, and part of that means facing Demon, who is a blatant symbol for the darkness that haunts him. And during all of this, he has Daisuke there to be his courage and his miracle and help him through it all.

“Dodging Raindrops” by 311

I'm letting go, giving up the control Yeah, I'm ready to go wherever the wind blows I wanna see where the road's gonna lead Time is ticking and the world is not waiting on me

I've been dodging raindrops for far too long These clouds over my head, they won't move on I've been dodging raindrops, trying not to get wet I've been dodging raindrops for far too long Dodging raindrops But they're all in my head, all in my head

This whole song is basically a giant metaphor for depression and deciding to stop ignoring the symptoms and actually deal with them. Because of that, it seems appropriate for the moment Ken decides to use the power of his dark digivice to open a gate to the Dark World. It’s an incredibly risky thing to do and he has no idea whether it’ll actually work, but he knows it’s the best chance they have and he’s willing to take the risk.

“Trials” by Starset

These trials make us who we are, who we are, we are We're motivated by the scars that we're made of These trials make us who we are, who we are, we are We take our places in the dark And turn our hearts to the stars

I think it’s pretty safe to say that all of the Chosen have trials to face in order to achieve what they do to battle the darkness. But no one faces more trials and tribulations than Ken, and that’s incredibly apparent to the other five when he forces open the dark gate, truly facing his darkness and fighting against it.

“Get Up” by Shinedown

If you were ever in doubt Don't sell yourself short, you might be bulletproof Hard to move mountains when you're paralyzed But you gotta try And I'm calling out

Of course, everyone comes to support Ken. He’s finally fully one of the group, but the order everyone comes to his aid is important.

First is Hikari, who probably understands Ken’s relationship with the darkness and the Dark World the best since it too called to her. Then Takeru, who has always felt so strongly about fighting the darkness, which is super obvious in this season (Takeru totally has PTSD and anger issues from Angemon dying in the first season, but really, at this point, which Chosen Child doesn’t have PTSD?). Next is Miyako, who was super hesitant about him joining the group, but once she was on board with the idea, she was fully committed. Last, of course, is Iori, who was the last person to accept Ken, and this moment feels like another moment that Iori realizes how far Ken has really come and accepts him even more.

But Iori isn’t actually the last person. For once, Daisuke remains behind.

“Light Up the Sky” by Yellowcard

I can't find a wall to pin this to They're all coming down since I've found you I just wanna be where you are tonight I run in the dark looking for some light And how will we know if we just don't try We won't ever know

Let me light up the sky Light it up for you Let me tell you why I would die for you Let me light up the sky Light it up for you Let me make this mine I'll ignite for you

Logically, it could be argued that Daisuke should have been the first one at Ken’s side to support him while he opens the dark gate. He’s Ken’s biggest supporter and closest friend, after all. It would be easy to assume they left Daisuke for last purely because he makes a big speech, and for the sake of story tension, that speech needs to come after everyone else already jumps in to help. It would be easy to assume that.

But to do so is to ignore who Daisuke is at his core.

Yes, story-wise, they keep his speech till the end to give the most impact, but it has to work on a character level as well. And on a character level, Daisuke--sweet, wonderful Daisuke--has always believed in Ken and will always believe in Ken. He believes in Ken with every ounce of his being, and it is because of that that he isn’t the first person at his side.

“Weight of Living, Pt. 1″ by Bastille

There's an albatross around your neck All the things you've said And the things you've done Can you carry it with no regrets Can you stand the person you've become Ooh there's a light Ooh there's a light

Your Albatross, let it go, let it go Your Albatross shoot it down, shoot it down When you just can't shake the Heavy weight of living

Daisuke believes Ken can do this because Ken is strong enough to face his demons (while quite literally facing a Digimon called Demon), and when Daisuke finally steps in to help, he does so with one of the most moving speeches in the whole series:

You’ve been troubled, suffered, and broke free of the power of darkness, right? Haven’t you atoned for what you did? So there’s nothing to fear anymore. Believe in yourself! You can’t lose to the power of darkness. We’re here for you.

It’s important to note that the majority of his speech has far more to do with telling Ken to believe in himself using a logic most people don’t assume he’s capable of. It’s only until the last line, after he’s already broken through to Ken, that he iterates the fact that the rest of them are there to support him.

To Daisuke, it’s most important that Ken realize he is strong enough to fight this, that he doesn’t need to be afraid anymore, that he’s changed.

“Dream” by Imagine Dragons

We all are living in a dream But life ain't what it seems Oh everything's a mess And all these sorrows I have seen They lead me to believe That everything's a mess But I wanna dream I wanna dream Leave me to dream

Unfortunately, there isn’t much time between the Daemon Corps and when the Chosen Children follow Oikawa and the kids into the Dream World. After BelialVamdemon reveals himself, he sends the Chosen into a trance-like state where they envision their deepest dreams. The others see illusions of their broken family becoming one, humans and Digimon living together peacefully, seeing their dead father, or getting all the attention they want from their parents, but what does Ken see?

“Dear Agony” by Breaking Benjamin

Suddenly The lights go out Let forever Drag me down I will fight for one last breath I will fight until the end

And I will find the enemy within 'Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin

Oh yeah. He sees himself as the Digimon Kaiser essentially getting lynched by all the Digimon he hurt while under the influence of the Dark Seed. That’s not fucked up at all.

Obviously, Ken still has a long way to go as far as dealing with his trauma, but there’s one really important thing to note: He sees the lynching from an outside perspective, as if the Kaiser chained to the Dark Tower is not actually himself. I’m sure whether to accept his actions as the Kaiser as his actual actions, knowing he was manipulated by the Dark Seed, is something he struggles with regularly.

“My Demons” by Starset

I cannot stop this sickness taking over It takes control and drags me into nowhere I need your help, I can't fight this forever I know you're watching I can feel you out there

Don't let me go I need a savior to heal my pain When I become my worst enemy The enemy

His vision is then interrupted by his brother Osamu coming onto the scene and telling him to forgive himself and move on, so this vision has some good points as well.

Osamu: Ken, you have suffered enough. You have already paid for your sins. Ken: My sins have been paid for? Osamu: Yeah. Ken: It’s over. It’s over now.

He obviously still believes he deserves to suffer for what he did, but what he wants more than anything is to move on from that and not have it affect him anymore.

Wormmon, of course, is there to remind him that that isn’t possible, that we can’t live in the past (before Osamu died) and we can’t pretend the bad things didn’t happen. There’s too much at stake--not just the fight against BelialVamdemon, but to pretend those things didn’t happen means we don’t learn from our mistakes and we don’t improve.

“I Want to Live” by Skillet

All I ever needed was a reason to believe You help me hold on, you ignite the fire in me You always come for me, you know just what I need Don't make me wait for this, save me from this darkness I reach for the light

I want to live my life The choice is mine, I've made up my mind Now, I'm free to start again The way I want to live (to live) and breathe (and breathe) The way I want that's right for me I may not know nothing else But I know this, I want to live

Daisuke and Takeru show up then, and then the rest of the group, and they’re each there to support him, to show him they believe in him.

I find it interesting that all Daisuke says when he shows up is, “That’s right, Ken!” Once again, while everyone else says something that’s meant to lift his spirits and guide him in the right direction, Daisuke simply affirms Ken’s decisions and thoughts. He knows Ken will come to the right conclusion, and he doesn’t have to say any more than that.

Then, of course, they go back to the Dream World to fight BelialVamdemon for the final battle.

“King and Lionheart” by Of Monsters and Men

But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart And as the world comes to an end I'll be here to hold your hand 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart

Obviously the world doesn’t come to an end because they defeat the bad guy and save the world and everything is magical again because Oikawa does something useful with his life (death), but the sentiment stands.

“Difficult Year” by Keane

Some days it seems okay Got some good friends around me But I'm still scared of losing my head I guess there's just something selfish about me

I've had a little bad luck Well, it's mostly my own making I thought I had it all sewn up But I was so badly mistaken

The series ends here, a little after Christmas but definitely before New Year’s, as New Year’s is a huge deal in Japan and, even around the climax, I don’t think they could get away with pretending it wasn’t happening. Considering the show started at the beginning of the school year, which is April in Japan, the series lasts about nine months, and boy has it been a trying year for all the Chosen Children.

Obviously, it’s been more than trying for Ken, and while he’s made tons of improvements throughout the season, he still has a long way to go to heal from his traumatic experiences, and Daisuke will be there with him along the way.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

#daiken #daisuke motomiya #ken ichijouji #digimon #digimon 02 #playlist #trigger warning #mental health #ptsd #depression #suicide #emotional abuse #anatui

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simplylove101 · 5 years ago

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Random Tangent About Ships & Cheating SLs

So, I was talking with my friend Lauren (@backtothestart02) yesterday about how when it comes to watching our shows and seeing certain ships of ours having cheating sls & how that affects how we feel towards them. This convo kinda came about cuz of the recent development we’ve heard about on Riverdale where Betty & Archie are gonna be cheating on their respective significant others with each other in the next episode... Which, okay, at this point I don’t even watch the show anymore since it sounds like it’s pretty much on crack these days (at least more than usual lol) so this isn’t your typical rant about “OMG HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH MY OTP LIKE THAT” in regards to that sl (re: yes, Bughead was my ship when I watched it but my investment in the show has been pretty much non-existent for way over a year now so that’s not my goal with this rant fyi lol) It’s just more the frustration of the excitement I’ve seen from people being all “YAY CHEATING” Cuz, yeah ok, it’s a silly TV show. Obviously. I get that lmao It’s just the reactions I’ve been seeing that are funny cuz there’s people who talk about toxic relationships and normally how cheating is a dealbreaker but in this one specific case we’re all suddenly cool with it... Okay lmao but yeah, if the ship has to happen because a character died or cheating is involved... doesn’t that already cheapen that new relationship too (and their character development along with it? lol)

Anyway, I actually just really wanted to use this as a chance to rant about my ships that made me deal with cheating sls and why those are basically the worse “obstacles” a show can throw at ships. At least that is, if you want people to root for them long term. lol Cheating obviously happens in real life, but then that’s usually the end of a relationship. Which is why I don’t think it’s surprising that when it comes to fiction, I find the element of cheating to be something that kinda taints my otps for me if it occurs in the story.

I can think of a couple of cases where I was able to accept it cuz the show mostly did right by them after the situation by showing the growth and how that would never been an issue again. But the cases where the cheating happens and it just feels like this thing that makes it so you can’t enjoy any of the things that came before it with that couple? That sucks. It feels cheap and like, really bad writing.

I think my thoughts on this subject stems all the way back to my very first TV ship: Jackie & Hyde from That 70′s Show. Anyone who really watched that show remembers that 2 episode arc of where Hyde thought Jackie cheated on him with Kelso (she hadn’t ofc but he did see her comforting him in a way that would be suspicious considering Kelso had wanted her back) so he cheated on her with a random nurse as payback. I remember watching the next episode heartbroken at the scene where Hyde has to tell her what he did after he realizes that he pulled that move for no reason at all and Jackie ultimately breaks up with him on the spot. Which I applauded her for. Because the girl had gotten cheated on by Kelso so much that she vowed that she wouldn’t let that happen to her again. Her relationship with Steven was supposed to be different, and up until that point, had been. It was a step back for all the development they had spent with them all season, but with how raw Hyde was during that scene and the scene where he tells Jackie that he loves her (evidenced by the fact that he actually isn’t wearing his usual sunglasses in either of those scenes), it can be said that it was clearly just a momentary regression. Do I think they could have handled it better towards getting them back together? Yeah. But then it was a sitcom so you gotta keep that in mind too. lol Otherwise, they mostly did right by them once they were back together until things got shaky again. But then this rant isn’t about how they deserved the endgame they were supposed to get and were robbed of. LOL But yeah, this is one of the rare cases they weren’t completely tainted for me.

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(For those of you that have never seen this ep....)

Another case of a ship where cheating happened, but in this case did have my ship pretty much tainted for me at the time was Joan & Adam on Joan of Arcadia. This is more a lowkey scenario cuz nobody who sees this will know them basically but I loved them dearly and I watched that show (pun not intended at all lol) religiously when it was on so when that sl came very much out of nowhere I was (I’d say) rightfully upset about it. There was no reason to have Adam cheat on Joan. It was just plain character assassination of a fan favorite, and for what? Drama??? I still have no idea. All I know it was a far cry from the boy who charmed his way into Joan’s heart in S1 who wasn’t even thinking about sex when they got together (Heck, *she* was the one who thought they were supposed to have sex in S1 at one point and again, that wasn’t even on his radar at the time lol). Enter later S2, he makes her feel pressured about them doing it a bit and then later he cheats on her with this random girl that we saw a couple times talking to him because of this... Um?? That’s just bad writing cuz it’s OOC. lol What’s worse is that Joan found out about this in the 19th episode of the season so when the show got cancelled, there had been barely any development after that. There was some since there was like 3 episodes or so after that, which meant there was just enough time to get them to a sorta neutral place with each other since they had the same friend group but otherwise, not much closure for shippers. Which was frustrating. You can’t just take that sharp of a turn in the story that late in a season with an unguaranteed next season with your main couple, especially if the cheating is coming out of left field. You just can’t, not if you want me to root for them at least. So.... yeah. That was bad. lol Definitely an example of why sometimes cheating does not need to be a storyline on a show.

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(For context...)

I was trying to think if there were any ships before this one that i would want to mention, and there might have been, but I can’t think of them at the moment. Which means next on the list is Zoe & Wade on Hart of Dixie. They’re still a big otp for me, which does show I was able to move past their cheating sl but again, they did get tainted a bit too. In some ways, their sl gave me some deja vu with Jackie & Hyde. At least in the way that the guy chooses to sleep with someone in a very rash way, and you just know this is gonna lead to an automatic breakup the second the girl finds out. There was no denying Zoe was gonna break up with him. It was heartbreaking to watch her come to the realization that he had cheated on her. And it was frustrating because it felt like they only got to be a proper couple for like maybe 4 episodes and then they pulled that move. It was like, you’ve been setting me up to root for this couple and... now what? They had undeniable chemistry so I guess the writers always counted on that for when they would ultimately bring them back together and they were right. I was able to root for them again, and it helped there had been some time that had passed (a whole season of them not being together!) and I was missing them a lot. But that said, it still felt like a misstep. Because when you wanna write a breakup, we should just throw in a cheating sl then? There were plenty of other ways to break up Zade, but they went in that direction. It just felt very lame, lazy and pure character regression in a way that didn’t make sense with the story they were telling imo. They were able to show that Wade had matured later on so it worked out, but this is one that made me upset so thank goodness they made up for it. lol

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(I dare you not to tear up lol)

Okay, the last ships I’m gonna mention briefly are both on The Bold Type.

Everyone in that fandom has expressed their frustration with how they handled the Kadena sl where Kat cheated and then they tried to have a open relationship to let her explore a bit or whatever in S2. I actually get where it wasn’t that bad cuz Adena told her she could see the other girls. Enter the next season, Kadena have sex when Kat is still in a relationship technically (I don’t care if she got the approval to see if there were still feelings there or not from Tia, that didn’t mean sleep with the ex. That meant talk) This is one of those cases where for me, cheating is never the ideal way to bring a ship back into the story. I know it happens but this didn’t make Kat or Adena look that great as characters for me. I know shit happens, just saying from a preference. Not gonna get deep into the awkwardness of S4 between these two, beyond saying that after S1, it does seem like the writers don’t fully know how to write them now still. They were a fan favorite ship for the show, and I think despite the bad writing for them sometimes in these later seasons, still are, but they really gotta start being more consistent with them if they want them to be rootworthy again. And please write Adena in character my goodness. The way they wrote her in 4x07 was just not it.

Which brings me to Janestripe,

They seriously dedicated a whole first half of a season dragging out the reveal that Ryan did more than kiss the lady he cheated on Jane with. I know beforehand the majority of the fandom hated Ryan already and thought Jane should have been with Ben instead, which honestly... ok, whatever. I still say Jane was having doubts about Ben so she was already starting to check out of that relationship a bit before Ryan declared his feelings for her at the end of S2. That said, once again, cheating isn’t ideal so I liked that Jane turned him down until she broke things off with Ben. I think people forget that the person in the middle of a triangle is making a choice and just cuz it’s not the choice you the viewer wanted doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be the wrong one. Frankly, Ben was kinda dry for me. Idk. Anyway, I appreciated that they were trying to tell a story of growth for Ryan... Until they weren’t. lol They really could have kept it as a kiss but they started planting those little signs that it wasn’t between Ryan looking guilty during convos and then him telling the story again about what happened & it sounding like bullshit. We all knew but they made us wait 9 eps for Jane to figure out. Which was frustrating. I get what message they were trying to send in the end and I respected that but they couldn’t do it faster?? They were sending a lot of signs they were making them endgame by showing how serious they were getting but now? I don’t see them ever interacting again, unless they did find a reason to bring Ryan back but Idk. I just don’t get painting them in that kinda light if you were just planning to tear them down before the season was even over, you know? They could have just ended them in S3 and I would have got it. But they dragged it out into a whole another season and why??? lol

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I’m trying to figure out what more I wanna say about this topic. lol Beyond just thinking that I can’t stand cheating sls. I can barely stand any kinda love triangle sls as it is. Why must these tropes exist?? All they do is cause drama in fandoms. Which is prob why I don’t do them in the first place. lol

Anyway, I’m done now. lol

#shipper rant #don't mind me idek if any of this was coherent #i just had to get it out lol

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fanfic-scribbles · 6 years ago

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Safe As Houses

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: You provide a safe haven for Steve when he needs it most– in more than one way.

Quick facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Fluff, some pining, Reader doesn’t live in NYC

Words: 4640

A/N: I’ve been sitting on this for a bit, unsure of whether I wanted to post it or not, but I’m going for it =] Based on a weird snippet of a dream I had, this thing was going to be long and involved but it just didn’t…have enough to it to make it a multi-chapter thing, so I decided to pare it down and apparently this is where it made the most sense to me. It is pretty much Steve/Reader wanting each other and beating around the bush until…well, it’s fluff, so you know how this goes. I also think it’s easy to tell that I love that tank top he wears in CA:TWS a liiiiiiittle too much. I failed at trying to use the gif search to find it though, so you’ll have to use your imagination u-u. Anyways; please enjoy.

“Why is this one more expensive…” you mutter to yourself and study both cans. All those years of ‘spot the difference’ have to count for something, but grocery shopping still remains a challenge, somehow. In more ways than one, as someone hovers behind you. You scoot to the side but they follow you, big and looming. Who the hell creeps at a grocery store? You turn, hoping a flat ‘fuck off’ stare will do the trick, but what you find is a shockingly familiar face.

“Steve?!” you hiss. It’s not the nicest welcome for him maybe, but it isn’t like it’s easy for him to just drop in.

“Shh,” he says and tucks his hat lower. He glances around. “I’m sorry to do this but I need help. Can I lie low at your place?”

Without giving it even a second thought you pull out your keys and take off the one for your house. He practically seeps relief when he slouches and you can see a flash of a cut by his ear. “Thanks,” he says and hugs you carefully. Fear wells up in you. Who (or what) hurt him? Why is he here instead of hunkering down with his team? This isn’t the place to ask, though, and any impulse to try fades when he aims a smile at you. “By the way, I missed you.”

You smile at your customary greeting. Long-distance friendships with a superhero aren’t any easier than ones with normal people, but you wouldn’t trade this for anything. Not anything. “Likewise,” you say softly and touch his cheek. “Go to my place and relax; I can get in through the garage. I’ll be done here soon.”

He nods, hesitates, and then leaves. You watch him go before you dump the cheaper can in your cart and then grab several more. At least he’s stopped in before you’ve finished your shopping– you’re definitely going to need a lot more food.

When you get home it’s dark inside from all the drawn blinds and completely silent. Steve would tell you if there was danger inside your house, right? This is just him being paranoid. …You hope. “Home at last,” you say, just a little above normal volume, and start putting away groceries like everything is normal.

Until you turn and run into a body. You barely clamp down on a yell. “What the– f– Steve!” you hiss.

“Relax; there’s no listening devices. I checked,” he says.

“Then don’t sneak up on me!” You smack his chest. “Also, thanks for the new nightmares about something I’ve literally never thought about before.”

He has the good sense to at least look apologetic. “Sorry,” he says. He shifts his weight to his other foot and clears his throat. “Do you need help?”

“I got this.” Even in the dim, mostly blocked daylight you can see the dirt in patches on his skin and clothing, a recently healed cut on his neck, and eyes that sag. “Why don’t you go take a shower? Once we’re both done you can tell me what’s going on.”

He looks like he’s going to argue, but then he actually says, “Okay.”

“No arguments? Shit; you must really need to sleep,” you say and wipe off a smudge on his cheekbone.

“Don’t push it,” he says with a slight smile and grabs your hand. He doesn’t push you away though; his fingers lightly curl around your hand and you can feel his warmth seeping in. Even in the parts of your skin he isn’t touching.

You don’t know what to do, and Steve freezes too. You both unhook then; jerking like puppets whose masters don’t understand movement, until he rushes upstairs (shockingly quiet) and you go back to the mindless task of putting groceries away. You stop for a moment in the middle to start making a couple of frozen pizzas– if Steve didn’t stop to shower you doubt he stopped to eat.

Steve’s and your friendship is…unconventional. Mostly because of who he is, but also partly because you don’t make a habit out of befriending random people while on vacation. But Steve is special. A chance encounter at a museum turned into lunch, which turned into going to a few spots he recommended, which turned into spending the rest of your week in New York together, switching between playing tourist and acting local.

That, in turn, has become a long-distance friendship that is one of the most solid relationships you’ve ever had. It’s also…occasionally…flirty. You think. Okay, you’re pretty sure, actually, it’s just– what if you’re wrong? And how could it even work, in the best case scenario of returned feelings, when you live a life here and he has a life there? Ultimately you’re happy with what you have, so you try not to think about what could– or could not– be.

Except those thoughts are hard to ignore when Steve is here. In your house. In your shower.

The oven timer goes off and saves you from having to jump into a cold shower of your own. Steve makes his appearance just a minute or so later, when you’re taking a few slices onto your plate.

“Help yourself,” you say, trying to avoid looking at him directly. You steal a little glance at him and as nice as he probably looks with damp hair and dewy skin, you can’t help but slide right over those to focus on the ridges of cuts healing fast and purple blossoms that seem to be fading before your eyes. But they’re still there, and without thinking you touch a yellow spot on his collarbone. A combination of how soft that spot is and him flinching makes you gasp and jerk back.

“I’m so sorry, I– holy shit; is it broken?!” you ask, dumbfounded. Logically, yeah, Steve has to get hurt sometimes, but he always seems so sturdy. Almost unbreakable.

Except now, exhausted to the point of wild eyes trying to stay open and covered in cuts and bruises. “It’s fine; it’s healing.”

“Steve,” you say, and he pulls you into a hug. You avoid that side of his chest (how he’s walking and talking without curling into a pain-crying ball is beyond you) and hug him gently. His clothes smell like smoke and musk and it mingles with the scent of your soap and shampoo. You stay in that moment as he whispers, “I’m fine.”

It’s a terrible lie, but he’s not going to admit otherwise. His stomach rumbles and causes a little break in the tension. Enough for you to pull back and say, “And hungry, apparently.”

He smiles at you, and you sigh. “Fine; I’ll wait until you're done eating for the explanation.”

You don’t have to wait long. He scarfs down the food so fast that he finishes even before you do. He looks a lot better for it though; he doesn’t look as pale and the injuries are just about gone.

“See?” He grabs your hand and puts it to his collarbone– now back in one solid piece. “I’m fine.”

You’re a little distracted with feeling over his skin, but you still roll your eyes. “Just because you heal doesn’t negate that you were hurt in the first place.” Reluctantly, you take your hand back. “So: what the hell is going on?”

Steve’s expression loses any lightness it had and becomes a straight face befitting a troubled captain. “I’m still not quite sure,” he says and crosses his arms as he leans back in his seat. His eyes go down, but his mind obviously travels elsewhere. “Short version: Bucky, Sam, Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Clint, and even Thor are missing.”

“Missing?” How do the Avengers– especially already-(in)famous billionaire Tony Stark– go missing?

“I don’t know who, how, or why,” Steve says, aiming his frown at the table. “Pepper put Stark’s tower on lockdown– I think Darcy, Jane, and Dr. Selvig are there as well. They sent me an SOS letting me know that Tony and Bruce and Thor were missing and I tried to go looking for them and the others. Clint and Natasha could have gone underground, but I feel like I would have heard from them in some way by now, and Sam and Bucky are definitely missing.”

“And nobody’s gloating about it?”

“That’s actually what concerns me the most,” Steve says and looks up at you. “If just capturing us was their only goal, whoever it is would have come forward. But they haven’t. They’re still trying to catch me in secret.”

“Because whatever they want the Avengers for they need the full set?” you guess.

“I can only hope,” he says and runs his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry I dropped in like this, it’s just– I’ve kept our friendship to myself. No one knows about you, and this is the only place I could think of where I knew I would be safe.”

You puff up a little at that. Steve hasn’t even been to your house before but he feels safe here– which means, for some reason, he feels safe with you.

“I won't stay here long,” he says and before you can protest, adds, “No. Thank you, but I can’t put you in danger too.”

You hesitate. You want to insist that he can stay as long as he wants, but finding his friends is a time-sensitive thing and you don’t want to seem callous. “Whatever you need, Steve.”

His smile is warm but worn, and for a moment you can see his weariness– his fear. You get up and go next to him, and wrap your arms around his head and shoulders. “It’s going to be all right. Your friends are all smart and can keep themselves safe until you find them. And you will find them. Without getting captured yourself.”

Steve chuckles. He holds onto you, arms around your waist, for several seconds before he releases you. “How did you know that was the back-up plan?”

“It’s the dumbest thing I could think of, so of course you have it as a plan.” You squeeze his shoulders. “Steve…”

“Don’t worry; that’s an absolute last resort,” he says and stands. He wobbles but rights himself. “I have other leads, other ideas.”

“Okay. But Steve?” you say and he frowns like he knows what’s coming. You rush through it. “I know you're worried and I know you have to get to work but you're not going to save anyone if you pass out, and you are one strong breeze from toppling over. You’re all your friends have, so can you please at least take a nap?”

He seems to consider that. You know he knows you’re right, but it’s still a relief when he sighs and says, “Just a nap.”

“I’ll take care of this.” You shoo him away from the plates. “Go take my bed; the guest room isn’t set up.”

“Don’t you need a nap too?”

Steve’s joke makes you stop cold, (or, um, hot), but you crack a smile. “If you want to get me into bed, you’re going to have to do better than that.” It’s a straight lie– sometimes your fantasies are as pathetically simple as sharing a bed and being able to wrap around him like an octopus– but you want to play along. You actually make him blush, and as he runs away with a mumbled goodbye, you allow yourself to watch him go with unrepentant longing.

If only he wasn’t joking.

“Are you sure about this?”

Steve sighs and slams the trunk so hard you’re surprised it doesn’t break. The little old beater he’s ‘borrowing’ must be sturdier than it looks. When he turns to face you, you look down, already anticipating the exasperation. “Sorry,” you say.

“No, it’s…it’s fine.” He places his hands on your shoulders and you look up into weary eyes. “Trust me, I understand. I’m worried too. So just know that…that I’m the only hope my friends have, so I have to be careful.”

You put your hands on top of his. You want to reassure him that they’re all strong and capable but it’s just lip service, and he knows them better than you do. So while he likely knows that, knowing and believing are two different things. “Hey Steve…I know you don’t want to ‘drag’ me into it, but you can crash here whenever you need to.”

He smiles. “I’ll keep it in mind,” he says like a promise, hugs you tight, and takes off.

You spend the rest of the day using your nervous energy to make up the guest room and clean the house. Just in case.

“Hey.”

You almost drop your bowl and you whirl around. “Steve!” you say and dump the bowl in the sink so you can hug him. You’re mindful of your wet and soapy hands– though you doubt his dirty uniform top would mind it. He hugs you back and you are definitely going to need a shower now, but you don’t mind. Especially when he exhales like he’s deflating and leans on you. He’s surprisingly heavy, but you don’t bend against the weight.

…Much.

He lets out a weak huff that you think is supposed to be a laugh. “About that offer to ‘crash here whenever I need to…’”

You pat his back and (reluctantly) separate. “The guest room is all set up. You’re stuck with my soap and shampoo though.”

“I don’t mind that,” he says with a sly smile. Quickly, though, it disappears. “Um, sorry. Can I use your laundry?”

“Sure. Secret agent man you are, you probably know where it is.” His smile answers in the affirmative. “Good. Do you need me to do anything?”

“No, but thanks,” he says and, while he doesn’t run, he certainly walks with purpose.

And quite a bit of focus, apparently. You’ve just finished the dishes when he comes back, clean and changed. You never expected shower-damp Steve to be such a constant threat in your life and now that he is you’re not sure if you should curse it or praise it. Maybe both.

“Can I have these?” Steve asks, holding up three boxes of macaroni and cheese.

“Of course.” You turn off the faucet and dry your hands. “Want me to make them for you?”

The look he gives you can only be described as ‘pissy.’ Someone on the outside might describe it as ‘disapproving’ but you know him too well for that. “I can make macaroni and cheese.”

“Since when? I gotta see this.” You hop up on the counter and lean over to watch. “Big pot is in the cabinet right there.”

“Thanks,” he says dryly and goes about filling it up with water so it can start boiling. As he’s getting the milk and butter together, something occurs to you.

“Hey,” you say. “I could have been offering to make it for you because that’s what a good host does.”

“That’s not why you offered though.” Steve winks at you and wow. That’s so much worse/better than the emojis he sends you. Worse than that: that’s all you’re going to see in his texts from now on.

“How did you know?” You turn your head to watch the pot.

“Because I know you,” he says. Fondly. You’re sure of that part; the real question is: fond like fond-of-a-friend, or fond like getting-fonder fond?

“Well it’s not out of bounds for me to assume you don’t know how to cook. Popular media tells me all New Yorkers only have a fridge, a microwave, and maybe one counter to store their take-out menus on.”

“Well I have a fridge, a microwave, an oven, and two counters,” Steve says and pours the pasta into the pot. “One for the take-out menus, and one for food.”

“Fancy,” you ‘gasp’ in awe.

“You don’t remember it?” He turns his head to look at you but keeps stirring.

“I’ve never been to your place,” you say. “I’m not part of that cool kids club.”

Steve’s smile is a little sad– like he’s thinking about that club. You wince. “How’s it…going?” you ask, even though you’re afraid to.

“Better. I’m…I’m making progress.” He looks at the pot. “Sorry but I think it’s safer if you don’t know the details.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re being safe about it,” you say and scoot over as he comes to the sink to drain the pot.

“Like you said, I’m all they have.” Steve sets the bowl of pasta sans water in the empty sink and turns to you. He moves his hand to your other side and puts it on the counter right next to your thigh. Your stomach flips but you barely get to freak out about that when he moves his face incredibly close to yours.

“Thanks again,” he says. “For letting me stay here.”

“Anytime,” you say before you can think about it. It’s still true, at least. But Steve stays there, and stays there, and stays, but does nothing and shows no sign of doing anything. Which is…

…the right thing. Much as it hurts you to admit it. Steve is alone and scared and you are not going to take advantage, even despite the overwhelming temptation. You lean back. “You should, uh…”

He blinks and jerks back. “Right– right.”

“Before the, um…”

“Yes, thanks.” Steve goes back to making his dinner but shoots you a relieved smile over his shoulder. It’s disappointing to be so close to something and have to let it go, but you’re starting to think…maybe he’s more receptive than you previously believed. Maybe after all of this is over you’ll see if he’s as interested in you as you are in him.

Or maybe you’ll just…continue to stare from afar. And aclose. It’s a toss-up.

Though the next day you find yourself struggling with the idea of letting him go. He had insisted he rested enough and needs to head out, which is why you’re sitting in your car at the airport drop-off, currently scrambling for excuses to make him stay.

He doesn’t leave right away either. Though he does sigh and say, “I should go before the, uh, officer gets back.”

“That guy’s a dick,” you mutter. But when Steve unbelts and opens the door, you catch his arm before he’s out of reach. “Be…be safe.”

“I will.” He puts his hand over yours and lingers.

Until a loud ‘whoop!’ of a police car makes him slide it away and he gets out, grabs his bag, and disappears into the mill of travelers.

You drive away, already settling in to wait on the edge until he comes back.

A few days later you’re just getting up, shuffling to get ready for work, when you pass by the guest room and stop suddenly. Steve is lying face down on the bed, sleeping soundly, wearing only his pants. His back is covered in fading purple and the curves of his muscles catch your eyes for only a moment before you focus on those bruises, the stray cuts and small trails of dried blood that he couldn’t quite reach with the damp rag that now sits on the floor just under his dangling fingers.

You sigh and shamble back to your room to call out sick for the day.

“Ow!”

“Stop being such a baby.” You dab the area with a dry cloth. “You walked and talked with a broken clavicle; this does not hurt that bad.”

“I told you, I heal fine on my own.” Steve holds up his arm. “See? This one already closed up.”

“Great; so infection sneaks in and gets sealed in fast.”

“And then eliminated by the serum.”

You hit him with the washcloth but he leans back and laughs. You smile too, despite what a child he’s been. How can you not, when he manages to be light incarnate despite everything going on? His smile dims, but that’s reasonable. You’ve never minded his shadows, anyway.

“I know you’re a liar,” you say and gently wipe away the rest of the blood from his shoulder. “I have a patch of wet carpet from your own attempt to do this that will testify.”

He rolls his eyes. “I already apologized for that.”

“Steve. It’s not about the carpet.” You put your hand down, still holding the rag. “It’s okay to…get help, you know?”

“You help a lot.” He puts his hand on yours, and wraps his long fingers around. His eyes are…so blue, it’s almost unreal. He squeezes your hand and water from the cloth drips to the floor, but it sounds distant. You can’t look away from him. Even more so when Steve licks his lips. “I…in case something happ–”

His phone trills three times and Steve jumps up so fast he almost knocks you over. He catches you with one hand, apologizes, and runs over to check it. After staring at the screen for a few tense seconds, he inhales sharply. “I have to go.”

You throw the rag onto the table and wipe your hand on your pants. “Do you need a ride?”

“I got it; it’s probably safer if you’re not with me right now,” Steve says as he taps out something in his phone. He darts up the stairs without another word.

You barely get to clean up before he’s rushing back down, dressed, with his bag on his shoulder. You stand to toss a ‘be safe!’ at him as he inevitably runs out, but find yourself face-to-face with him. He grabs your shoulders to steady you. “When I get back,” he says, “I have something to tell you.”

“O…kay?” You can’t imagine what he has to tell you that he can’t do it right now, but it’s a good assurance nonetheless. “Don’t make me wait too long.”

He smiles. “I won't,” he promises, pulls his hat low, and slips out.

Only a couple of nights later you wake up to a large shadowed figure standing just outside your bedroom door.

“Steve?” You yawn. “Are you okay?”

“So, the captain is staying here.”

The unfamiliar voice wakes you up better than an espresso injection and you jolt up only to stare at a shadowed figure holding something out. You know what it is when you see it glint in a sliver of moonlight.

“Do not move. Do not scream.”

You clutch the blanket in a tight fist. You obey, and hope that he won't shoot you.

“Where is Captain America?”

“I don’t know,” you whisper.

“I have no patience for liars,” he says and steps forward.

“I’m– I’m not lying!” You scoot back as far as you can. “He doesn’t tell me and I– I don’t ask.”

“Hm.” He’s silent for a few seconds, during which you make a conscious effort to breathe quietly. “So you are useless, then.”

The gun clicks and you freeze. At this angle there’s no way to get cover and you don’t know if your petrified body can move anyway. Still, you try and you roll out of bed. The shot is loud and you can feel bits of plaster hit your back as you hit the floor.

“STAY DOWN!”

Steve. You curl into a ball as shots fire and something smashes into your walls. It’s cacophonous, but quick– the noise ends, though your ears keep ringing, and when heavy boots rush at you, you curl up tighter.

“Hey, it’s all right,” a kind voice says. “I’m Sam Wilson and I’m gonna help you up. Are you hurt?”

“No,” you say but as you stand you wince at a stinging cut in your back. You try not to focus too hard on the rampant destruction of your room. You’re alive, at least.

The shock is enough that you’re at the bottom of the stairs when you blurt out, “Steve,” and look around. “I heard him; where– is he oka–”

“Easy,” Sam says and leads you to the couch. “He’s fine; just rounding up some stragglers.”

“Okay,” you breathe, but there’s that pain again.

“I recognize that face.” Sam pulls out a small bag. “Where’s it hurt?”

Sam takes care of you and you try not to worry about how long it’s taking Steve to track down ‘stragglers.’ But it’s not easy to relax after a wake up like that. Or when a red-headed assassin and her blond partner are watching you like hawks. Well, one hawk. You’re more worried about the Black Widow.

“There.” Sam pulls the edge of your top back down, returning to you some modicum of dignity. “Doesn’t even need stitches.”

“Thank you,” you say and blink away sleep.

“So…” Nata– Black Widow and Hawkeye walk over to sit and stand in front of you, respectively. “How do you know Steve?”

“Um…” You know Steve never told them, but it doesn’t feel like your place. What should you say? “I–”

Your name is called by a comfortingly familiar voice and you get to your feet as he rushes in the back door, Bucky at his heels. Steve’s suit is a little dirty and his hair is messed up, but he looks fine.

You breathe for what feels like the first time as he strides up to you. “St–”

Warm.

Steve’s lips are very warm.

You know this because they are very on your lips.

As soon as you make this realization, you snap to– and you wrap your arms around him and open your mouth to his. Steve responds immediately, slipping his tongue in and holding you as close as he possibly can without breaking your back. Not that it matters, because you’re dead. You have to be. You’re dead and in some fabulous afterlife, or you’re dying and hallucinating, because this can’t really be happening.

Can it?

You both break apart, (well, at face level at least), gasping for air. You lick your lips. “That was…new.”

You’re so close to him you can practically feel his cheeks radiate warmth when he blushes. “I’m sorry, I…” He hugs you tight. “I can’t believe I almost lost you.”

You’re content to stay in his arms forever, but pointed coughing makes you recognize other people are in the room. Steve practically leaps away from you, which is fair, considering just how amused his friends are and, okay, this isn’t the first impression you would have wanted to make on his friends, but you find it hard to be upset considering Steve just kissed you.

“I cannot believe you kept this a secret from your best friend,” Bucky says, placing a hand over his heart, but he’s grinning. You know well enough from the stories Steve has told you that poor Steve is never going to get to live this down.

“How do you know he didn’t tell me about it?” Sam says. Bucky shoves him, and they start to bicker. Steve puts a hand to his face.

“I didn’t know.”

Natasha’s words still the room. She’s vaguely impressed, but…

“Successfully keeping a secret from the Black Widow.” You squint at Steve. “Is that something that goes on your resume or your tombstone?”

Steve and some of the others laugh and you feel a little less on edge. Just a little. But they talk to each other, and Steve uses the opportunity to pull you into the kitchen.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” he says, eyes darting and head moving as he looks over every inch of you.

“Fucking hell, Steve, take me to dinner first,” you blurt out, and he blushes.

But he says, “I’d like that.”

You blink. “You would?”

“Yes.” He moves in closer. “And we’ll talk about this.”

You lick your lips. “We will?”

“Yeah. Later. For now…” He pulls you into a kiss. And follows it up with even more.

Later, then.

You have plenty of time.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america reader insert #avengers reader insert #captain america fanfic #avengers fanfic #romance #fluff #mutual pining

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fyrapartnersearch · 6 years ago

Text

The next Wild Hunt commences.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Phew, let's try this again shall we? I've received great many responses which positively surprised me :) I've managed to find some partners, but most of the people who contacted me, just sent me a friend request on Discord without even writing me a message. This gives me nothing to work with. Please, I implore you, if you want to start a RP partnership with me, write me a detailed email first! Describe yourself, your ideas and preferences. I want to get to know you before we move to another platform to chat OOC, alright?

And for the future, do NOT ghost me! Thank you :) I’ll keep it short and sweet for my introduction. I am Fenry, but you may address me as Fen. Obviously this is not my real name but I would like to keep a pseudonym as my identity until I get to know my partner better.   

I am 25 years and that means adult themes and topics will be included

Female

Over 10 years of roleplaying experience

Masters graduate

I live in CET, Europe

Prefers doubling, though I can make exceptions

We can exchange more information once I’ve received your message. I love talking outside of the Roleplay for some brainstorming and plotting for the story. Plus, making new friends never hurts.

Now to the actual topic what I am looking for in a partner.

Please read before you message me!

Thank you.  

My roleplaying partner must be above the age of 18, preferably 20+.  I don’t care which gender honestly, as long as the Roleplay and friendship is good I am all for it. Contact me with a small introduction. Tell me about yourself, what you’re ideas are, how long you’ve been writing and your limits. I want to know more about you, assess your character before we move to anything else. It would otherwise come off as impersonal.   

The qualities I prefer in an RP buddy are:  

Mature

Dedicated

Detailed

Literate

Frequent (which doesn’t mean that you need to send me 5 messages per day. 2-3 times per week is absolutely fine since I am not able to respond as much either)

Flexible

We all have real, social lives outside of the roleplaying world. I understand when you’re not able to reply as fast all of the time, because it is not much different for me either. I will try to respond at least 4-5 times a week. If it’s a good week, my replying rate will increase depending on the given situation. If there’s work ahead or any sort of obstacle that might get in the way of our exchange, I will let you know as soon as I possibly can! I promise you this!  But I also hope you do the same when there’s something that might cause a hiatus.

   I am looking for LONGTERM and CONTINUOS Roleplays! My partner should be very committed because otherwise, it wouldn’t make a lot of sense and we might as well drop it.

    When it comes to my writing style and preferences, I will list these things here for you to read.

Writing: I am a multi-paragraph sort of writer, which means that frequently, my writing will exceed at least 500 words, and upward of 1000+ words. I love detail in description, and I am actively seeking someone of the same infamy. Generally, I tend to write in the 3rd person. I’ve also tested the waters of 1st person but found it fairly awkward, if not, jarring so I’d rather keep it with 3rd person.

Pairings: I openly play characters of both genders, preferable m x f pairings, but I am open to m x m and f x f relationships as well. I have more experience with m x f relationships, so I might excel in this category more than I would do with the others. However, like I said, do not let this deter you. Very much open to other sexual orientations and preferences. Romance and intimate erotic scenes are always a part of the story, so if you are someone who prefers fading to black, I am afraid to tell you that my request isn’t something for you. This is not negotiable, sorry.

Genres: I am versatile when it comes to genres and settings that I like to play in. Supernatural is my absolute jam, especially urban and gothic fantasy, maybe even a bit of mythology as well?  Anything involving vampires, werewolves, demons, witches, shape shifters, aliens, mutants, other urban creature of folklore, given some sort of modern day spun, is absolutely perfect for me. I also really love science fiction in its many forms. Primarily, I take my sci-fi craving inspirations from Star Wars, Mass Effect, and even Destiny (even though I did not really enjoy the games…). Another genre that I’ve vast interest in includes that of the superhero genre. I’m a big fan of both Marvel and DC fandom, and the concept of having humans with abilities, anything of that short would be awesome to do. Against, these would be with original characters on my part. I’m not as fond of general real-life or general modern day genres and themes without a good, complex idea attached to it.

Characters: Faceclaims, GIFs, drawings, mood boards or just a plain physical description is absolutely welcome / sufficient. I am not someone who necessarily needs a face claim for a character in order ‘to get the picture’. There are many instances where I could not find a suiting match for my character’s definition, so I resorted to drawing them myself or leaving it with a simple description.  Characters should have flaws - that is a no brainer obviously, since nobody likes a Mary Sue / Gary Stu - but also some unique traits that make them stand out and remain memorable. I take inspiration from JK Rowling or George R.R. Martin for example as each of their character remains very unique and unforgettable in my opinion. They definitely did something right and I want to emulate that, so don’t be afraid to be rather bold with your character creation. Let your imagination run wild and surprise me with your ideas!

World building & plotting: An active roleplayer is wanted in this category, without a doubt. I love to world-build, but I tend to lose interest when I am the only one who puts in the effort into it. I can’t do the thinking for two people, so I implore you to at least share the burden (which should not be regarded as such because roleplaying is a fun hobby and nothing more). Too often I find people shying away from it in this regard. If I feel that I’m carrying the weight of the world-building part with specific ideas, I will end the Roleplay in immediately. And consider that the world building is just the tip of the beginning, so from that, I’ll be able to see whether we’ll be a match or not. Because we’d be starting from scratch with whatever we do, it would be a big relief to have someone who doesn’t mind letting ideas flow to set up the universe that we will be roleplaying in.

Content: I find writing erotic, dramatic or action packed scenes very enjoyable. I don’t hinder myself when certain subjects are mentioned that may be uncomfortable for the general public. But then again, as a reminder, a Roleplay is not reality but fiction. For example situations that heavily imply and involve brutality, mayhem, psychological and physical torture are things that need exploration.

Characters should be fully fleshed out, even the not so pretty parts of one’s personality and actions. There is no black and white, but a wide ranging spectrum of grey areas. A story does not always end well and life is never fair, so to implement this into a Roleplay, it would make a fantastic and very exciting story. Nothing is ever certain, people have their ups and downs… we shouldn’t make an exception here. I am not afraid to delve into even more sinister areas such as psychological trauma if its needed to further the story. I want to be as transparent as I possibly can. I have very few limits. The only subjects I will not touch, or rather avoid are heavy graphic rape scenes, bestiality, necrophilia and pedophilia. Other than that everything is fair game. What I also find quite fascinating is describing someone’s mental as well as physical transformation, ascending to a higher or lower state of being, etc. The process of metamorphosis, may it be the manipulation or corruption of someone… it all is quite eerie and at the same time, intriguing. It all leads to the progression of the story, so be warned that we won’t be walking on egg shells here.  

The story will not be solely centred on dark themes. I love me a mixture of everything, including drama, fluff, angst, action, comedy, romance, adventure, mystery and so forth. 

Let’s lighten up a bit, kay? :)

The ones I’ve marked in bold are the ones I am currently itching for the most.   

Original plots I am absolutely craving for are:

   Genres: 

anything mafia related

crimes in remote locations

small towns and supernatural happenings

post apocalyptic/dystopia

supernatural/modern fantasy (demons and devils, monster x hunter)

southern/mid western gothic

murder mystery (small town or big city)

modern/dark fairy tale retellings

sci-fi/cyberpunk

emotionally charged/dark and gritty

superpowers/gifted

unresolved sexual tension/slow burn

mythology

redemption

action

Pairings:

age gaps (non pedophiliac)

friend x best friend’s older sibling

enemies to lovers

cop x criminal

friends turned lovers/pining

grumpy x sunshine

dark hearted man melting for the innocent woman

reunited old lovers and/or friends

boss x employee

neighbours

mentor x mentee

hitman x victim

hurt/comfort

height differences

pet names

rich x poor (or noble and peasant / different social classes)

The Fandoms I am willing to do, although I prefer to make something original:

Films & television:

Marvel cinematic universe

Pacific Rim

Castlevania

Game of Thrones

Riverdale

Young Justice

Voltron

Constantine

Harry Potter

Star Wars

Games:

Witcher III

Devil May Cry

Bayonetta

God of War

Star Wars

Dark Souls

My Roleplaying platform is mostly on email or google docs! I also would like to keep in touch with my partner over a different medium, preferably Discord.   To contact me use these links here: 

EMAIL: [email protected]

DISCORD: Fenry#4086

 Find me there.

Here are two passwords that you can use in the headline so I know what you want to role-play. 

*For ORIGINAL Roleplay, the password is: Follow me and you shall be

free *For CANON Roleplay, the password is: I will follow you until the end

#original #OC #supernatural(original, not TV) #longterm #email #googledocs #paragraph #detailed #partner #dedicated #fantasy #canon #doubling #chat #friend

#indie rp #indie roleplay #independent roleplay #oc rp #para #long term #email #harry potter rp #submission

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mrslittletall · 6 years ago

Text

Title: Duel Gone Wrong (Chapter 19) Fandom: Dark Souls Characters: Dragon Slayer Ornstein, Artorias the Abysswalker Word Count: 2.049 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14026326/chapters/35750829 Previous chapter: https://mrslittletall.tumblr.com/post/175954250984/title-duel-gone-wrong-chapter-18-fandom-dark

Summary: In which Artorias gets desperate.

(Author's note: This was one of the first scenes I was thinking about when coming up with this, but I pondered a long time to actually include it. Enjoy the pure and utter fluffiness.)

After the master had left him alone, Ornstein continued his search for Artorias without any success. Sighing, he stopped at the place where he normally would make the roll call with the silver knights. It was still a bit too early for them to show up and Artorias wasn't there either. Scratching his head in confusion, Ornstein tried to think of another place the wolf knight could have gone to, when he felt a sudden hug from behind and a ruffle of his hair, which made him tense up immediately.

A glance over his shoulder solved his problem of finding Artorias at least, who was the source of the mysterious snuggle. “Artorias, what are you doing?”, Ornstein asked, feeling anger rising in him.

“I can't take this anymore.”, Artorias whined. “I just have to pet something. Anything that's cute!”

“And why does that something have to be me?”, Ornstein complained. “Why don't you go pet Ciaran? She's cuter than me.” Ornstein tried to release himself from Artorias hug, but that only prompted the wolf knight to tighten his grip.

“Ciaran is too unpredictable. I fear what she could do if I suddenly snuggled with her.”, Artorias said, ruffling Ornstein's hair some more and running his fingers down the ponytail. Ornstein started to shudder, this whole situation was getting creepy.

“You really think that?”, he asked. He had the feeling, if Artorias would suddenly snuggle with Ciaran, she would drag him into her bad and gave him one hell of an assassination. “Would you please release me...? You are starting to make me feel uncomfortable...”

“I would love to.”, Artorias said. “But I can't help it, you are too cute. And I was dying touching something cute the last few days! I am touch starved! Being able to look at them but not touch them! Do you know how hard this was?” Artorias voice wavered with despair.

“Would you release me if I help you find something different cute enough to pet?”, Ornstein begged. “I don't have the feel that you are aware of it, but any tighter and you are crushing my arm a second time!”

Artorias finally let go of him, making Ornstein sigh in relief.

“I am so sorry.”, Artorias said, looking very guilty. “I don't know what came over me... Are you feeling alright?”

“The arm throbs a little.”, Ornstein said. “But otherwise I feel fine. I am more concerned about another thing, Artorias.” Ornstein shifted the gaze of his dark green eyes on the wolf knight. “You called me cute.”

“Because you are cute.”, Artorias said. “And the closest thing to a cat I could think off.”, he added.

“We definitely have to find something for you to pet.”, Ornstein said.

“Prince Gwynfor's mane for example?”, Artorias suggested.

“What? No!”, Ornstein shouted. If anyone should pet the master's mane, it should be his honour. He quickly should get this conversation into another direction.

“There are surely more cute things than cat or dogs out there. We just have to take a look around.”, Ornstein said.

“Well, in the cathedral we have our messenger birds, but...”, Artorias started.

“Yes, we are not going there.”, Ornstein said. “Let us head to the market instead. There we surely will find something for you to pet. That is not me. Or Ciaran.” 'Or the master's mane', Ornstein added mentally.

He eyed Artorias and then said: “But in civil. I don't want anyone to recognize us.”

“Oh, alright.”, Artorias said. “Just give me a moment to get changed then.”

The wolf knight left and after his large figure was gone, Ornstein noticed two of the silver knights just standing there, staring, one of them obviously trying very hard not to laugh. “Since when have you standing there?”, the captain demanded from his silver knights.

“Since Ciaran is cuter than me.”, one of them said and then both of them burst out into laughter. Ornstein glared at them.

“You will tell nobody what you have witnessed here, understood?”, he ordered them harshly. Both of the knights stopped laughing immediately.

“Of course, captain. We have never been here, captain.”, they said. Shortly after the other silver knights appeared for roll all and Ornstein made sure that the two witnesses would get a duty far far away from the other silver knights. He was sure that Artorias would have managed to change in the meantime, he watched the last silver knight leave and got to pick up the wolf knight at his room.

Shortly after, the two of them were headed to the marketplace. Ornstein had taken his old silver knight spear with him.

“Why are you carrying this around instead of your dragon slayer spear?”, Artorias asked.

“Then people assume that I am just a silver knight off duty or out of armour.”, Ornstein said. “I don't want to be recognized like this.” He raised the broken arm in demonstration and put it to rest into the sling again.

“But people will still know that's it us if we call ourselves by our names. We should come up with nicknames.”, Artorias grinned. Ornstein had the feeling that the wolf knight had far too much fun with this. “You can call me Arty. Hmmm.. And how should I refer to you?”

“Leo.”, Ornstein said without hesitation, a name he had quickly borrowed from his leo ring.

“Really? I had some great names in mind. Like Orn, Orny, Orin or Ornsty...” Artorias counted the names on his fingers.

“Definitely Leo.”, Ornstein insisted and saw how Artorias face fell.

“Aw, that's no fun.”, the wolf knight whispered.

It didn't take them long to arrived at the market. Like assumed, outside their armours the citizens didn't recognize them and just let them be. Ornstein took a look around.

“There must be a stall here that sells something cute...” He spotted something and strode towards it, dragging Artorias behind him with his left hand.

“Chicks.”, he said. “Cute enough for you?” Luckily, the flightless chicks didn't give Ornstein any trouble with his tenseness around birds. Even he had to admit that they looked cute. He could see how Artorias eyes began to sparkle at the tiny yellow fluff balls.

“They are. Excuse me, may I take a closer look at them?”, Artorias asked the stall owner and soon had a tiny chick in his hands, which he carefully stroked and stared at with big eyes.

“You can raise them to lay eggs.”, the stall owner explained. “If they grow up to be chicken of course. Roosters don't lay eggs but they make an excellent meal.” At this Artorias face froze.

“I don't want to eat it.”, he said.

“You eat meat.”, Ornstein said. “Quite regularly to be honest. It's your favourite food.”

“Well yes, but normally I don't have to raise my food before eating it.”, Artorias complained. “I think I would rather have one that could provide me with eggs. Is there a way to tell? And how much do you want for it?”, Artorias asked the stall owner.

“We are not going to buy this thing, where do you even want to keep it?”, Ornstein scolded Artorias.

“I could build them a nest in my room and I would take good care of them everyday and...”, Artorias stopped until seeing Ornstein's face glaring at him. He put the chick back. “Thanks for your time, but we have to go now.”, he said.

“Don't you at least want to buy some eggs?”, the stall owner was yelling after them.

“Maybe later.”, Ornstein shouted back. He had already targeted the next location, which was a stall which had little baby rabbits for sale.

“Look at them, aren't they cute too?”, Ornstein asked.

“I want to touch all of them!”, Artorias squeaked behind him and rushed forward to look at the tiny animals.

“I am sorry, my friend turns into an idiot when he sees something cute.”, Ornstein told the confused looking stall owner.

“Well, normally I sell them to be raised for getting eaten later...”, the stall owner started but stopped when they saw Artorias face who slowly had turned to them.

“Why does everyone today wants me to raise my own food?”

“Oh, I guess they would also make good pets for your kids... or little siblings, you seem a bit too young to already have kids.”, the stall owner quickly suggested. “Are you guys silver knights from the cathedral?”, they asked.

“Uh... yes, we are.”, Artorias quickly said after seeing Ornstein's gaze on him. “I don't have younger siblings and my parents raise dogs so I guess we shouldn't put a bunny into that situation...” He turned to Ornstein but was surprised to see the lion knight deep in thought, staring at the fluff in front of him.

“Maybe they would be a nice addition for the orphanage? It could help the kids taking responsibility and make them getting used to animals...”, he murmured to himself.

“Um, should we move on, Orns.. Ornsty?”, Artorias asked.

Ornstein got snapped out of his thought by hearing Artorias voice and promptly started to yelle “I told you to not call me that!”

The stall owner laughed: “You two are adorable. You can come back anytime when you want to buy some rabbits. I sounds like you first have to get permission. And I hope your arm will heal soon.”

Ornstein took a few steps back, starting to feel uncomfortable: “Oh, uh.. thanks, it isn't that bad, it will be fine soon.”, he said and then dragged Artorias along dying to escape this situation.

A good distance from the stall away, Ornstein stopped, panting, taking a few deep breathes. “Has it gotten too much for you? Shall we head back to the cathedral?”, Artorias asked, worry shining in his grey eyes.

“I am... fine. Just got uncomfortable for a second there.”, Ornstein answered and straightened himself up, scanning the market for another target. “Are you fine with bigger animals too? This stall sells cattle.”, he said, pointing to it with his spear.

“I don't mind the size of the animal at all, the important thing is, it has to be cute.”, Artorias answered, his mouth turning into a wide grin while he strode towards the stall. “Excuse me, could I take a look at your wares?”, he asked. Ornstein silently followed him, watching the young cow closely who greatly seemed to enjoy to be petted by Artorias.

“She has just given birth, so is ready to be milked.”, the stall owner explained. They scanned the two knights and then added: “Although, you don't look like farmers. With your size you are most certainly soldiers, I guess silver knights from the cathedral. Are you looking for a gift for your families?”

“Something like that...”, Ornstein answered, getting aware how ridiculous they had to look, walking from stall to stall at the market and petting animals. And it only got worse, when two silver knights on patrol walked by and noticed them.

“Captain Ornstein, Sir Artorias, what are you doing here? In civil?”, one of them asked. This raised all red flags for Ornstein. Before the stall owner or the silver knights could say anything more, he had grabbed Artorias arm and dragged him off the market place.

“Shall we head back now?”, Artorias asked. “I think I petted enough cute things now to last for the rest of the week. And if not, I know where to look now.”

Ornstein opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by a loud growl of his stomach before he could say anything, making his face flash red. “Oh right, I didn't had any breakfast yet.”, he murmured. “And I haven't eaten much since yesterday...”

“You know what? Let me treat you for breakfast as thanks.”, Artorias said. “I could use something to eat too.”

“I kinda have the feeling we won't eat chicken or rabbit or steak...”, Ornstein pondered while following Artorias, looking forward to a nice breakfast. (Author's note: The nicknames which Arty is suggesting for Orn are ones that actual people of the fandom are using. Can you recognize yourself?) Next chapter: https://mrslittletall.tumblr.com/post/176449893949/title-duel-gone-wrong-chapter-20-fandom-dark

#dark souls #fanfiction #dragon slayer ornstein #artorias the abysswalker #littlewritesstuff #honestly I love all your nicknames for Ornstein #makes me sad that I only use the generic Orn

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a-faekindagirl · 7 years ago

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Hey kat did you know that we aren’t allowed to get mad when we want to read cs fics and people involve wish!hook/kr or just out kr in cs fics where peole want to get away from s7 and we are supposed to accept that killians mom’s name is Alice because wish!hook’s mom is named Alice. We should be ok with getting s7/kr shoved down our throughts since kr ~parallels~ cs and how hook would be with their kid. I’m so fucking mad Kat (part 1)

… uh, okay, anon. You seem honestly upset-ish (I feel like anons only use your name when there’s real emotion involved), so I’m going to curb my distaste for the wording of your ask and try not to get snarky, but here’s the thing: if you don’t want to read CS fics that include wish!Hook or “knightrook,” then DON’T. READ THEM.

Something tells me it’s probably clearly displayed by the authors in both the summary and the tags that it’s CS + wish!Hook/KR. I doubt there’s many ways to be taken by surprise by them being included. There isn’t an overly large pool of people who are into that, so I imagine those that are make such fics pretty easy to locate.

If you want to “get away from s7” there’s thousands of CS fics where you can do so. CS fics that don’t include wish!Hook and KR outnumber those that do by A LOT.

I understand getting cranky or even uncomfortable/triggered (given THAT gross bit of s7) if it’s sprung on you when you’re not expecting it, like if the fic isn’t clearly marked with their inclusion, but otherwise? Non issue. There are CSers who like wish!Hook and KR, and they’re going to write fic. They get to do that. If it’s not marked, yeah, be irritated as hell (but don’t be a dick to the author, either). I would be. But if not? Then you really don’t have any room to have beef.

Just, you know, don’t read those fics. It’s pretty damn easy. I’ve not read a single one, and I read new, recent CS fics every single day.

Also can we eradicate the phrase “shoved down our throats?” I had enough of that from anti idiots s3-s5. U have grown to LOATHE that expression, and the way people misuse it.

Nobody is shoving ANYTHING down your throat when it comes to fic, just like no one was shoving anything down anti CSers throats in the show: something existing and continuing to exist is not it being shoved down your throat. When you actively decide to consume content, that’s on you. Nobody is making you read fics that contain something you don’t want to see (just like nobody was forcing ACS to watch the show). You have the ability to simply stop consuming that content.

And wish!Hook’s mothers name is Alice. Real Killian’s mothers name is Alice. The wish world is a horrible, poorly thought out, confusing, insulting, ridiculous, nonsensical, stupid, steaming mess and Adam and Eddy talk out of their asses about it and make up the rules and giant plot holes as they go along, but real Killian and dollar store Hook shares the same path up to a point. That’s the canon. We don’t have to like it (I don’t, much), but pitching a fit over people adhering to it is a bit pointless.

And if anyone is insisting that KR so obviously parallels CS and their child, ignore them. That’s fanon. That’s their own, personal view. Leave them to it. It’s harmless. It doesn’t affect anything. It certainly shouldn’t affect YOU.

Basically, you AREN’T allowed to get mad, as far as I’m concerned. I think mad is a little extreme in this case.

People can write what fic they want. You, or I, or any folks not into s7 don’t get to police that. Those fics existing does not affect you, unless you let them. Unless you read them. So DON’T. Easy peasy. It’s your preference that anything to do with wish!Hook and Alice not be associated with CS? Cool. I’m right there with you. But that is YOUR preference. My preference too. But it isn’t everyone’s, and NOBODY is required to mold their behavior around what you want. Not their fic, not anything. To think they are is way too entitled. They can write whatever they want about a show and characters they, too, enjoy.

I don’t know, anon. I’m trying to be understanding and like I said, I share your preference, but it sounds an awful lot like you just think people shouldn’t write fics that include CS, wish!Hook, and Alice. Like they aren’t ALLOWED to, or they have to get some sort of stamp of approval from the greater fandom, instead of it being YOUR JOB to avoid what you don’t want to read. And both of those ideas are absurd. Sorry.

#i don't really know what to tag this with #*lost face*#kat replies #Anonymous

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mentaldisordercartooncharac-blog · 7 years ago

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The trickiest thing about tumblr is its level of anonymity, and the ability it gives a person to not be entirely truthful about who they are. You can be whoever you want to be! Nobody will know. You can roleplay anyone and no one can question you. In most cases, this is a good thing. Protecting one’s privacy is important, especially online. But in a lot of cases, it creates awkward situations where you might need to question the legitimacy of someone’s claim because they’re dropping red flags that they’re lying just to have an excuse to be abusive and avoid criticism, but in doing so you risk being labeled -phobic or -ist or a horrible person in general for daring to invalidate someone’s experience or abuse.

so when I see someone throwing a tantrum all over ship tags and equating shippers with pedophiles, while blatantly misusing that word in the same sentence as claiming to be CSA survivors themselves, that really makes me doubt that they’re being entirely truthful about their trauma, and that they’re likely just making up some story out of the mistaken assumption it will add some legitimacy to their false accusations. If you were really a victim of child sexual abuse, you wouldn’t belittle it so candidly just for a cheap attempt at policing strangers on the internet, you wouldn’t exploit it as a manipulation tactic, and you’d have a little more respect for the term (and actual survivors of it) and use it appropriately.

that goes for the transtrender thing too. Believe it or not, I dislike transphobes and terfs as much as the next guy, but when it seems like being a trans guy is the new iteration of last decade’s empty boast of “not like other girls”, and then seeing so many teenagers on here who have clearly never experienced dysphoria in their lives and are solely using that identity as a means to shit on girls for shipping the wrong ship and backing up their reasoning with “well AS A GAY MAN~~ I’M TELLING YOU HOW STUPID YOU ARE BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY A GAY MAN THEREFORE I’M THE ULTIMATE AUTHORITY ON GAY MEN,” you’ll see why I’m so doubtful of a lot of people about who they claim to be. I doubt actual trans men would dedicate such a large portion of their leisure time to yelling at strangers on the internet over inane trivia, because I’m assuming they’d have bigger fish to fry, and actual real life problems to worry about. And probably also a considerable level of empathy on the subject of bullying and harassment, so…needless to say, that sort of behavior would likely be, erm…beneath them. Also, maybe let’s not appropriate that identity, because I imagine it’s demeaning to actual trans guys and the shit they’ve had to go through when all you’ve done is tapped off a hasty afterthought of pronouns in your bio and then assume to speak for them.

There’s also the implication it carries that it’s apparently a lot more beneficial on this site to be othergendered than it is to be female, that we’re still stuck in this shitty online culture where being female is still considered unfashionable and the Absolute Worst Possible Thing a person can be and that claiming to be anything but female is ideal, but that’s a conversation for another time. It’s just, illuminating, I suppose.

Don’t think I don’t feel bad for pointing this out. I really don’t intend to invalidate anyone’s identity or past abuse, but when it seems like most of you are simply using those labels as weapons for the lone purpose of being huge steaming shitbags to people in fan spaces, you’ll understand why I can’t really take anyone seriously, and why my knee-jerk reaction on this site is to immediately disbelieve that anyone is really who they say they are and not just catfishing for catfishing’s sake. It’s a red flag that goes up whenever someone makes claims as to their identity or education or general worldly experience, when everything about their personality and claims suggest otherwise. Like CSA survivors misusing the word pedophilia, presumed law students making serious accusations of federal crimes with absolutely no evidence to corroborate it, trans people whose only motivation to be on this site is bullying and harassment.

Pardon if I’m way off base here, I don’t mean to assume what might be considered “normal” behavior for any of these groups of people, but these traits seem a little out of character for those identities, so you’ll forgive me for my skepticism. I think a lot of people here are exaggerating a little about who they say they are. I know it must have been unpleasant, but accidentally stumbling across your parents’ porn stash doesn’t make you a CSA survivor. Occasionally attending a paralegal night class at your local community college for burnouts and recent divorcees doesn’t make you a law student. If you really want to make a convincing case for any of these things that you kids are impersonating, you need to start…well, playing the part a little more convincingly. You’re too obvious in your lie.

So just a little litmus test the next time you find yourself arrogantly opening any rebuttal with “As a _______, I’m telling you with unassailable authority that you’re wrong/immoral/harmful for liking this thing”, perhaps delete that and try again with something a little more substantial. Because for any of you that haven’t yet made it to sophomore-level debate class, that is a fallacy called “Appeal to Authority,” and it fails from the start because it assumes an individual’s dubious claim on an identity/experience gives them justification to speak for all people in that group.

This is flawed because it doesn’t rule out the imperfections of personal bias or intersectionality. Instead of using your identity to condescendingly explain why you’re right, try using factual evidence or actual statistics from reliable sources and studies rather than anecdotal evidence. We’re in a post-truth world now (in case any of you haven’t peeked out from under the tumblr-echo-chamber-induced rock you all obviously like to hide under and haven’t noticed), and you’d do best to not contribute to it if you want anyone to take you even remotely seriously when you claim to represent the rights of all those innocents and Others that make up the downtrodden minority of society. Just remember, anecdotal evidence cannot be proven, and it’s useless because literally anyone can just make up some bullshit and apply it to a situation to make themselves look right.

You know who else does this? Donald Trump. Donald Trump and his lackeys. This little missive is directed mostly at fandom antis, but this can apply to anyone on here who claims to be of any left-leaning persuasion: maybe don’t do that, because you start looking like the very people you claim to oppose, and it weakens every argument you’ll ever make. And I have faith in all of you, that you’re better than that. That you’re smarter than that. Even if your anecdotal evidence is true, it’s inadmissible because it can’t be proven. And it shouldn’t be, for that matter, because you don’t owe that to anyone. All it’s going to do is result in some asshole at some point coming out with their own anecdotal data that’s made up or highly embellished for the sole purpose of belittling yours, and then you’re at an impasse because A) you just spilled your most painful, humiliating memories in vain and B) you either have to acknowledge both accounts or acknowledge neither, and everybody loses. You’ve achieved nothing.

So we’re not here to play oppression olympics or win edgiest blogger award. There’s this really gross thing about tumblr where people are pressured into exposing their traumatic histories and deeply personal information in order to validate enjoyment of their fucking hobbies, and in turn it inspires the children harassing them to “beat the score” or whatever, and that’s when you have them firing back with really dubious accounts of their own, more seriouser trauma that makes them totally righter than you!!! (and is in actuality just a regurgitation of a Law & Order episode they saw once, and very obviously never fucking happened). Fake Tumblr Stories are everywhere, we all know this, we’ve all encountered plenty, but you’re not allowed to question the veracity of any of them or you risk being labeled an abuse apologist or victim blamer or something.

That’s fucking psychotic. Someone shouldn’t have to bleed their darkest moments to some snot-nosed 16 year old brat just to keep from being harassed or falsely reported as a pedophile, and some asshole who arrogantly self-identifies as the fucking moral police shouldn’t be so obsessed with getting the last word on trivial nonsense that they feel obligated to play this woker-than-thou pissing contest with people who have experienced *actual* trauma. I mean, do you kids not see how completely unhinged this behavior is? You children need to be fucking sedated. You’re goddamn nuts. I fear for the day we have to rely on you assholes in the job market, because you’re just gunna fuck everything up. You’ll always be failures. You’ll make a trainwreck of everything.

For lack of a better word,

Yikes.

Anyway, the point is just a reminder that your identity shouldn’t be relevant when you’re trying to prove a logical point or have any of your arguments taken seriously, if you really are right or justified in your stance. If your argument has any basis in sustainable fact, then your gender/orientation/mental illness/personal history will have no impact whatsoever. So lying about them really isn’t worth it and gains nothing. Just be yourself! I know at the tender ages of ~14-20 you’re desperate to be recognized for how unique you are and you’re struggling to be celebrated as a special individual when you’ve done absolutely nothing, but realistically…that’s a pretty tall order, there are like 7 billion people on the planet, so nothing you can make up about yourself will ever really be that impressive. Stop trying so hard and enjoy your fucking childhood.

And if you find you can’t make a stable argument without using a desperate appeal to authority like that, then maybe you should reassess your stance on things because chances are, it’s because you’re wrong.

#fandom wank #antis #sjw logic #purity politics #transtrenders #ship discourse #tumblr is not your safe space

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