#obviously we all know this but when you work at a standardized testing company. people be drinking the kool aid

[phannibal]

monthly standardized testing does not matter post

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

you apply for several jobs on seek (my preferred job site), indeed or jora. a couple get back to you and say "please do our preemptive psych (aptitude) tests/chat bot/fun games assessment/s with an online video interview (within the next 48hrs).... so that we can assess your viability for this role."

you do the bs chatbot/psych test/automated video interview etc etc. some of these give you an instant response after doing them, which you kinda like.... but also really absolutely hate. every test result you get back basically tells you that you're a walking contradiction: you LOVE to dominate conversations, which means your co-workers are somehow terrified of you. so please learn to PIPE FUCK DOWN, LISTEN AND TAKE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS/FEEDBACK etc (which you do anyway). however, you are also EXTREMELY SHY and goal-oriented.... which means your productivity is moderately ok, but doing just a bit more will make you a go-getter.... but uh. have we told you that your coworkers and clients will NEVER get to know you deeply?? so, learn to speak up and make friends in the workplace and also have good client relationships 😊!

wait! wait! we're not done tearing you limb from limb yet!!! have you considered that your productivity is actually awful because you're so easily distracted and don't like routine??? have you considered that this lack of attention can ruin your KPI achievement targets.... and single-handedly utterly destroy the performance efforts of the ENTIRE team and company???? we suggest focusing on streamlining your workflow and productivity habits.... and totally NEVER getting distracted EVER, so YOU make US money and not the other way round 😤😡. also, maybe apply for something that involves a whole load of rules and stable methods (bc we conversely think you're also a very stable and consistent person emotionally), not an ever changing admin position!!! (BTW: we'll never tell you that these "rule loving" jobs include anywhere between $10,000 of study (at the very least for tafe) to $30,000+ for a degree (at the most) or SEVERAL years of work experience.... which you very obviously don't have for even a junior position, let alone a middle management or senior position).

hey, we're nearly done! we swear 😰! don't leave yet... if you're still breathing that is 😅😂!!! isn't this so much fun 🙃?!! congrats on being able to analyse the complex relationships in teamwork environments... if only you could collaborate- which you do well, actually, because you're super laid-back (everyone wants someone like you on their team 💞..... just not us though lol 😋) - and LEAD, maybe???? but also DON'T be a leader, and try to really achieve "above and beyond" (despite what we said in the job description).... because we don't want you thinking that you're actually able to do anything of meaning to you... and that you can really achieve your said big goals, with us in tow 🙃. finally, NEVER be laid-back in the work environment. we construe this as being lackadaisical (which is a BIG, intelligent word for L A Z Y, if you didn't already know that 🤓! also.... are you a young millennial or gen z??? hehehe! we've got you all figured out 😎) which means you'll NEVER do YOUR work to OUR fake desired standard/s anyway 🙃.

PHEW! that was a lot! thanks! have a wonderful day. now GO FUCK YOURSELF 😊' [one more teenie tiny thing: please give us feedback on this reading! how did we do??? 😊]

you then read these bullshit results to a family member. they are HORRIFIED at the utter lack of respect, transparency, care, trust, integrity and human interaction in the hiring processes of the modern job market, mostly for the office admin and retail jobs that you've been applying for. when ironically, all of those attributes you just listed above (and sometimes more) are the so-called values/mission/goals of EVERY firm/business etc that you've applied for.

the downright rudeness and callousness of being absolutely torn to shreds by a shitty little bot; for a big retail chain's christmas casual position, that they use to save time to cut in-person interview times.... all to be told that that's why you'll never be a check-out chick for 3 months over christmas.... is fucking awful and deflating. (although, not that it matters. you didn't really want it anyway. you tell yourself). being told that you won't/can't sit on a computer and phone, using word, excel and the business's CRM all day.... doing admin for what feels the 10 billionth fuckin local office or government dept/council job, or other fucking small local places that you've applied for.... all bc "you have big dreams" or "you love to talk. but not at your job" or whatever other condescending, demotivating and backhanded bullshit that they've said in these test results... is humiliating, depressing and undermining as all fuck.

all bc you selected the wrong answers in a "fun mini-game" about how to reply to work colleagues in the company chat program, whatever that may be. or all the other shitty psych/aptitude test mini games that i played for big firms for uni grad programs back in uni in 2017. or, you've selected the wrong answers in a more ~traditional~ psych/aptitude test for a local educational institution like a uni or a technical/trade college.

it makes you question what the actual goddamned fuck the HR people actually want. what the actual fuck the bot is trained to snuff out and highlight and gush all over in someone's resume, interview and test answers, like a big corporate cum stain. are they really as "fair", "consistent" and "equitable" or whatever the fuck else benevolent words companies use to describe them??? are they ethical??? am i going insane??? would it be healthier for me just to jump off a cliff into the ocean filled with blood hungry cartoon sharks circling below??? would it be better to [enter, pursued by a bear] when i FINALLY get another interview.... if i EVER get another one; just to serve justice???? if it's a dog eat dog world, why don't i just become a golden retriever that just wants to eat treats and make dog and human friends on the daily??? if the world has gone to the dogs or the bears or sharks; wouldn't it just be fucking nice to bring one along with you, to make a point????

it's utter shit out here, lads [gender neutral]. we're all fucking tired and dead inside. it's why "no one wants to work anymore", as the piss-baby weak employers LOVE to bitch and moan. but: why work when you're disrespected from the fucking outset??? why work when you realise that you'll NEVER have the upper hand in any-fucking-thing??? why work when you're ignored constantly or even ghosted by employers??? the questions go on and on and on. "stop being deafeatist!" or whatever other word/phrase i can hear the "no one wants to work anymore!"crowd shout. no. im tired. we're tired. we're motherfucking done.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. The silence is deafening.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require you to create an account on the company website. You leave a trail of ghost accounts that will be used once and never again. You never receive a response.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but it's so rare for you to receive any response that you forget to check the website and you miss the time.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but you don't know the magic words that signal to the esoteric mind of an interviewer that you're fit for the job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer e-mails you saying that 'unfortunately, you do not have the qualifications we are looking for'. You check the job again and see you applied to be a menial labourer.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require a car. No one stops to ask how you're supposed to afford one with no job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers a job. The commute makes you want to die in your sleep.

You call the HR manager for the workplace in hopes of arranging an interview more directly. They don't even have an answering machine.

Employers complain that no one wants to work anymore.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

CAN YOU LIKE YOU TALK TO INVESTORS

The middle managers we talked to at catalog companies saw the Web not as an opportunity to build a business. Because schlep blindness prevented people from even considering the idea of having a single thing lots of people use. Microsoft saw the danger of Javascript and tried to keep it broken for as long as they could. When they advertise Java programming jobs, they also want Python experience. The needs of customers and the means of satisfying them are all in one head. But you don't want to get a nice, low-stress job at a big research lab, or tenure at a university. And while they probably have bigger ambitions now, this alone brings them a billion dollars a year. And while founders may not have needed VC money the way they write software. When you offer x percent of your company for y dollars, you're implicitly claiming a certain value for the whole company. It will start with small ones. That sounds about right.

So if you're developing technology for money, you're probably not going to be a startup. Chardin decided to skip all that and paint ordinary things as he saw them. At big companies, because it will be with people you know, you'll find the animal test is easy to apply. That's something Yahoo did understand. We used to show people how to build real, working stores. As an outsider, your best chances for beating insiders are obviously in fields where corrupt tests select a lame elite. You keep the IP and no billing by the hour. Well, that may be overrated. Of the remainder, the smart ones would refuse such a job, now that he didn't have to worry about money. You can do what you want; you don't have startups, pretty soon you won't have established companies either, just as pop songs are designed to sound ok on crappy car radios; if you say anything mistaken, fix it immediately, while you were on the phone with her.

If you're the sort of people, it may become common for people to come back to work after dinner. But though the result is occasionally cheesy, it's never boring. Ideally you want between two and four founders. Though better than attacking the author, this is true. For outsiders this translates into two ways to pass them: to be good at hacking the test itself. So mainly what a startup buys you is time. And yet if I had to learn where they were. So it must be work. Hardware does well on crowdfunding sites. At this stage, but if you're a startup your programmers will often be way better than the ones your customers have or can hire. Investors have much higher standards for companies that have already raised money. Is that so bad?

I mean by good people? In fact, it's not enough just to raise up the poor. Up till a few years and they're ready to write checks again, they may not reconverge once the economy gets better. We talked to a lot of 26 year olds are broke. Sometimes the VCs want to install a new CEO of their own success. Particularly in technology, the low end. There was a friend they wanted to hire with the investor money, and partly because startups, like dogs, tend to eat when given the opportunity. I already know what the options are, or which kinds of problems are hard and which are easy. There's no reason this couldn't be as big as Ebay. Why did the US really invade Iraq? We had big doubts about this idea, but they can't have looked good on paper. What do I mean by good people?

Thanks to Robert Morris, Trevor Blackwell, Qasar Younis, Sesha Pratap, Geoff Ralston, Jackie McDonough, and Jessica Livingston for sharing their expertise on this topic.

[jerry618]

Unveil the Mystery of Glasses-free 3D LED Display

Email: sale05@xygledscreen.com

WhatsApp & Wechat: +86 18038197291

www.xygledscreen.com

The technology of glasses-free 3D LED display

3D has been a fad for a long time in the movie industry, but it hasn't been until the last decade where video game companies such as Nintendo and Sony have taken a more practical approach to 3D. This is done through a practice called Autostereoscopy. This is also the method that just about every other competitor uses.

This process essentially allows the producer to use images in a way that gives the user 3D depth perception. The possibilities of how this could be used in Entertainment are potentially infinite. Video games are arguably the most complex media out there, which is why it got so much attention in that industry over the last decade. Movies also did the same thing, really allowing practical effects to pop out when viewers go to watch a movie. There are some flaws to this process, but it's very consistent regardless of whether you have a 3D TV at home or you're viewing one at the theatre.

3D glasses have some of the fundamentals of prescription glasses but rather than improve your lifestyle, they're just trying to provide entertainment for a moment. As time progresses, these companies are getting more complex at how they want to approach this technology. There isn't a perfect way of going about it, but autostereoscopy is the best that we have so far. Not only do other companies do it, but it's even done in most countries. It's even gotten to a point where it can be done at a much lower cost commercially.

The main factors to a successful glass-free 3D LED display

Autostereoscopy needs to know how to manipulate the viewer's perception to make the image more surreal. This means the lens of the glasses needs to be very consistent. The frames will have to be wide so that the viewer isn't caught off guard as to what's in their peripheral vision. The frames should obviously be congruent, even if that doesn't apply to the viewer's eye. The glasses need to be good enough to the point where they can mimic real eyes, there's never going to be a proper replacement for that, but this lens can accomplish a lot with the 3D display.

The 3D effects themselves also have to be impressive. There's going to be no reason for the person to come back if the 3D effects aren't some of the best that the industry has to offer. There has to be something in a video game or a movie that's able to move the person watching it so much that they come back one day. It can even be education if that's something that draws the viewer in. And the effects have to be practical enough to the point where they would consider using it over traditional glasses.

One of the more important things that these glasses need is consistency. The images in 3D need to be somewhat relative to what they are seeing on screen. If the image itself isn't consistent, it's going to draw the viewer out of the experience regardless of how impressive the effects are. It means that everyone who does make 3D effects for the TV needs to hold themselves to the highest standards. That could mean running many tests to see what works, it could also mean working people to try out your 3D TV and see how the experience was from an outside perspective

What are the differences between regular LED displays and glasses-free 3D LED displays?

Regular LED doesn't have 3D effects on them. The LED TVs are changing rapidly today with different techniques such as micro-LED and mini-LED engineering. So far, that same kind of technology hasn't been put into the 3D LED displays. Maybe one experience is better than the other, but regular LED is just more popular than the other. Video games and movies have generally moved on from LED so they just aren't invested in it anymore. This is why modern LED TVs don't have these features at all. This also isn't something that's going to change anytime soon.

LED Displays also tend to have a larger screen size than the glasses-free 3D LED display. These are the products that consumers can get for a fraction of the price compared to those other LED screens currently. The Glasses-free LED TVs just aren't as available as the regular ones. There really isn't any reason for those retailers to stock them up in the first place. When things get better for the 3D industry, there could be the possibility of these kinds of TVs coming back. When they become more practical than regular TVs they could make a comeback.

The regular effects people get on regular glasses are much more intense than the alternative. In a way, it has to be since the glasses have a much greater effect on your vision. All of the engineerings in your frames were made alongside many of these studios which allowed you to make these images better side-by-side. The glasses might be brittle and fragile, but you're going to have a much better experience watching just about any kind of movie compared to those glasses-free TV that is currently out there for you to buy.

Are there any differences between glasses-free 3D tv and glasses-free outdoor LED display?

For one, the outdoor glasses were made to fight against sunlight glare. This makes since there are many people who want to be able to watch movies, shows, and sports while also not having to deal with the sunlight that's outside. The glasses-free TV isn't going to have those options. The Outdoor TVs are also going to be a lot rarer than the other options that are out there. It's a very niche market out there for that kind of TV and they're only shrinking in consumer base as time progresses. It's definitely not optimal for a business but getting an outdoor glasses-free TV is going to be better.

The glasses-free outdoor TV is going to be a lot more expensive. There isn't much of a reason for people to get these TVs which has led to a spike in price as they get rarer. If the market changes, things could change and the TV prices could potentially go down significantly Obviously that isn't something that people would want to deal with but it's heard for the time being. The displays are also set up differently in the internal part of the TV so the overall isn't as strong. But in terms of the actual effects, that's where the biggest difference is.

The outdoor 3D TV effects aren't very strong at all due to multiple factors. For one, you don't have the benefits of wearing frames as you're viewing something on Television, that's already going to make it weaker. There is also the sunlight which is going to affect your perception of the image especially as the day progresses. With the regular kind of TV, you will be in a place where the light is controlled and you don't have to worry as much. This is for the best since you should want a consistent experience when watching a piece of media and not have it ruined by external factors.

The trend of glasses-free 3D LED screens in 2021

One trend is the screens getting bigger for these kinds of TVs. The buying market is a lot smaller, but manufacturers have gotten everything down to the point where they can make bigger screens. This is really good for the people who have family rooms or don't have a reason for needing other kinds of TVs. For people who live in houses big enough for home theatres, this is going to be the best kind of experience that you have to offer. It's also going to offer a much better image regularly even if the media hasn't been adapted for 3D.

There have also been more ads that are made in 3D since there's been a market for it even if it's a bit niche. Not only are there more ads that advertise 3D technology, but there are also more ads in 3D. Advertisers have the job of getting your attention to buy a product and the best way to do that is probably in 3D. If something is in 3D then that makes it much more difficult to look away at everything else that's going on. If this becomes successful, then more advertisers are going to do it, especially if they know there's a high viewership.

The last trend for this year is all the new companies invested in 3D screens. If these many companies are jumping on the 3D TV wave then there must be something big happening in the industry that they're planning for. Companies like Samsung, Sony, and Phillps have almost left 3D entirely as it's not for them but Magnetic 3D, Vision Display, and Stream TV are all manufacturing in 3D this year. This means more competition and a better overall product for the consumer.

[rajesh1sahani]

Salesforce Advising and Organizations

Previous experience shows that it costs more to draw in another client than to hold a continuous one. A Solicitation Score center around lets us know that 41% of pay comes from go over clients who are just 8% of the aggregate. Client upkeep has become so significant that affiliations have advanced to offer new models considering repeating affiliations. For sure, when 2020 Gartner speculated that over 80% of programming vendors will move their procedure from normal permit and upkeep to enlistments. This cooperation model contains offering things, associations or content to a relative client base in a useful manner and with occasional segments, in general month to month. In that limit, the support course of action changes conventional clients into standard endorsers. Regardless, holding a client is certainly not a clear errand. To do this, you should zero in on making complete, consistent and, obviously, basic encounters that increment purchaser dedication. Obviously, in enlistment models, client upkeep turns out to be by and large more basic, as pay relies on it. Partners anticipate consistency, software development companies in arizona. Your business should have the decision to give it the best Salesforce directing organizations

For this current situation, Salesforce CRM besides has a horrendous strategy that will work on staying aware of your business. In this manner, we should sort out what’s really going on with Support The board.

What is a Salesforce Trained professional?

A Salesforce Master generally wears different covers. They could work in-house inside an association or be contracted as an external expert to help a business with gaining by their Salesforce CRM. They would lead business examination with a client to get a handle on their business goals and cycles, understand pain points and entryways for development to help them, and have the particular data to design as well as execute deals with further develop the business cycles and execution. They are in an accepted, position of power as they are enrolled to help with changing how a gathering endeavors to additionally foster client care and various leveled execution.

A good expert is one who sorts out the stage yet likewise has extraordinary business examination, project the board and change the chiefs capacities to coordinate people and relationship through a communication to deal with essential business issues.

How does a Salesforce Expert answer?

A consistently expanding number of associations are going to gadgets, for instance, Salesforce CRM to streamline the most well-known approach to regulating client relations, yet not all money directors are insightful with the latest programming. That is where the occupation of the Salesforce master comes in! A piece of the commitments of a Salesforce Expert include: • Managing the Client Relationship • Make and Regulate Errand Plans • Depicting Business Cycles • Supporting People Through Change • Gathering Utilitarian (Business) Necessities • Managing a Gathering of Specific Staff • Proposing Specific Requirements. • Concentrated Thing Plan

Client Testing and Planning

Why pick Salesforce for CRM advancement? Ancient history are the days when CRM was just a clear informational index that set aside client information. As of now, it’s a savvy, proactive, man-made insight filled stage that empowers laborers with the information they need to seek after the best decisions for every client. It’s the underpinning of the world’s most client centered affiliations and helps associations with putting the client at the point of convergence of all that they do. Salesforce Client 360 is the completed Salesforce CRM thing course of action of market-driving applications to develop and uphold third party integration across each line of business. It’s done. With top level applications for promoting, arrangements, exchange, and organization, all in light of our trusted in stage, Client 360 goes past Salesforce crm consulting to help every client touchpoint.

What is Salesforce?

Salesforce, Inc. is a conveyed processing and social endeavor programming as-a-organization (SaaS) provider arranged in San Francisco. Laid out in Walk 1999 by past Prophet boss Marc Benioff, Parker Harris, Dave Moellenhoff and Focused Dominguez, the association got moving as a client relationship the board (CRM) stage vendor. Salesforce has changed into a SaaS amazing powerhouse after some time, offering various cloud organizes that fill focused needs. In August 2022, Salesforce detailed it had pay of $7.72 billion, creating 22% year over year.

The chief reason behind Salesforce is to convey sensible CRM programming as an electronic assistance. Before Salesforce, most associations worked with CRM programming on their servers or used close by resources, which called for a ton of investment and financial theory. Salesforce offers a compensation all the more just as expenses emerge enrollment model and houses all of the data in the cloud, which makes it really open from any web related device. Contact formstack integration with salesforce.

How does Salesforce answer? Salesforce offers an alternate underpinning of programming things planned to help bunches from different ventures — — including advancing, gives, IT, business and client support — — connect with their clients. For example, by getting to the Salesforce Client 360 application, bunches across an entire affiliation can communicate and offer a lone point of view on client data on a planned stage. Salesforce heroku connect gives steady encounters into client lead and needs through client data examination. By getting over the openings between data storage facilities from different divisions, Salesforce gives an extensive point of view on every client association with a brand.

[rendakuenthusiast]

Believing in an inborn hierarchy of intelligence may not contradict the liberal critique, but I think that a society that intentionally slots people into roles according to their various metrics (which, recall, is what I am critiquing) is necessarily hostile to individual autonomy

What's the difference between an inborn hierarchy of intelligence existing, and some people being inherently more intelligent than other people? What's the difference between society intentionally slotting people into roles according to their various metrics, and different people and institutions across society looking for people with various combinations of skills to do some kind of useful work for some kind of compensation? Like, does having a standardized test at all for admission into a prestigious university count as slotting people into roles according to their various metrics, because some people are smart enough to pass the test and others aren't and won't try? Should it be illegal or frowned-upon to have a prestigious company doing something cool like building solar-powered rocket ships, that a lot of smart and ambitious people compete to be able to join, and that a lot of other people don't ever consider joining? Should it just be illegal to hire people to be janitors, because everyone knows that being a janitor is low-status work? Should it be illegal to write a blog, because if your blog is really good you might get a lot of people interested in it and then if you have meetups about your blog people will recognize that you are the author and assign you more celebrity and social status than other people who have less-widely-read blogs?

Of course this could be because I have a different notion of coercion than you: I think that if there are five companies in town and they all offer grueling factory jobs, and your choices in practice are to work at one of them or starve, you are functionally being coerced into working at a grueling factory job. Just because there's no individual guy you can point to as the coercer does not change the fact that such a society is antithetical to the exercise of individual liberty in a large swathe of domains.

Or you could move to a place with a wider variety of jobs, or live in that town doing some kind of remote work because it's a cheaper place to live than somewhere else, or retire to there after you've worked in some other place, or do any number of other things (sex worker for the factory employees, maybe?) A town whose entire economy is five factories probably only exists precisely because of whatever industry those factories are for to begin with, and I don't think it's hostile to human liberty for a town to spring up to support workers at some specific plant. Obviously it's bad from a town resiliency perspective if a settlement has exactly one industry (what if that industry goes away? this is why a lot of towns in the rust belt have declined) - but on an even broader scale, I don't think it's hostile to human liberty if a town exists for a while supporting a single industry and then dies when that industry leaves. And there are definitely economic costs associated with artificially propping up the existence of specific industry towns, under whatever economic regime you have. In any case, even if they weren't centralized in one town, those five factories would still exist and still employ people from some labor pool to do grueling factory work, unless you're proposing that it's inherently hostile to individual liberty for a factory that requires difficult labor to exist at all.

But history abounds with cases where hierarchical power was weakened without reducing individual liberty, and indeed in many cases while extending it. The end of divine right monarchy is one such example. Others are trivially easy to generate. I contend that we are nowhere near the Pareto frontier; society abounds with hierarchies created and maintained through oppressive force that in no sense emerge as a necessary consequence of individual freedom.

I'm not convinced of this; most of the hierarchies I see around me are informal, have some kind of meritocratic element to them (even if that meritocracy relies heavily on inborn traits, like being physically attractive), and importantly there are lots of them and different people assign different value to them based on their interests and abilities. I'm extremely low on the totem pole of the hierarchy of professional video game streamers, for instance, because even though I like playing video games well enough I've never seriously tried streaming my gameplay, or tried via luck or skill to become good enough at streaming video games that I build up an audience of people who care about my streaming in particular and eventually become so popular that I manage to make a significant amount of money from ad sponsorships and Twitch streaming revenue. This doesn't bother me in the least because there's lots of other things I can in principle to do make money and be valuable to other people in the world.

Of course, examples of policies which mitigate hierarchy while minimally impinging on liberty may be harder to come by if you consider all extant forms of property rights to be necessary for individual liberty. Again I think this is plainly untrue, and in fact that many property rights contradict more fundamental individual rights: consider for instance consider IP, which I take to violate any reasonable formulation of freedom of speech.

I'm actually pretty close to being fine with getting rid of intellectual property. There would *absolutely* be negative 2nd order effects from this, because intellectual property and the incentives that it creates solve real problems in the world, but I think there might be alternative ways to solve most of these problems; there would also be a lot of 2nd order effects that a lot of people would consider to be negative but I would consider to be positive, like making it impossible for Disney to exist as a meaningfully-large culture-forming corporate entity, and making it legal for anyone at all to include their folk conception of disney renaissance movie characters in their other creative work. On the other hand, I think it should be legal for a single person or a collective of people to own a house or shop and the land it sits on, and have the right to expel other people from that land so they can make exclusive use of it. Other property rights are an elaboration of this one.

Main vibe I get from Scott is that he's afraid the masses are going to hold back the visionary genius of the cognitive elite who are the only ones who matter and are the ones we need to save the world, in the 00s it was pretty clear those masses were those voting the republicans, now it's easy to make that seem like those voting democrat, but regardless I'm gonna argue that's a right-wing belief man.

[mcheang]

Exclusive

Edna Mode was a renowned designer, famed for her harsh but accurate critiques, her fierce and practical lines, and of course, being the designer of the majority of superheroes.

And now she was hosting a fashionista gala, inviting those worthy of a Mode gala. As for those asking for an invite, Edna just asks who they are and calls security.

Lila, as the self-proclaimed BFF of Ladybug, and Gabriel’s muse, had already boasted of receiving the glamorous invitation. It didn’t just come in an envelope, it came out of the sky in a rosewood chest, accompanied by a bottle of wine and canapés. (Or so she says. Adrien and Marinette rolled their eyes. Chloé wasn’t paying attention)

Alya: Girl, I’m so jealous. But hey, maybe this will be a good thing. After all, Adrien is going with Kagami. Chloe will just stick with her mom. That means it’s a chance for you and Marinette to know each other better.

Oh yeah, did I mention that everyone knows Marinette is MDC?

Lila forced a grin but didn’t want to make any promises.

Imagine Lila’s rage to know she wasn’t given an invite because she was just a model. Adrien was the heir to a fashion company. She was not.

With all the bragging Lila did, she can’t back out or Chloe and Marinette will call out her absence. (Chloé learned about Lila being a guest from Sabrina later from gossiping)

So, she stole Marinette’s invitation. She did some editing and made her own customised invite, brandishing it for her class to see.

Marinette saw her invitation missing, rolled her eyes and reported the theft to Edna. Plz, everyone knows Edna invited her. She didn’t really need a piece of expensive paper.

The day of the gala arrived, and Lila brought out her invite.

The guard looked at his clipboard. “You’re not on the list.”

Lila: No, but I do have an invite. Obviously someone must have made a mistake with your list.

The guard snorted. “If that’s the case, then your fingerprints and eye scans should have already been registered. That’s what opens the doors.“

Lila gulped and thought about sneaking in with the next guest. But no such luck. Security made sure one person entered at a time.

As the security guard moved to push Lila back into the crowd of fans, Lila cried out that she knows Ladybug and Gabriel.

Guard: what’s your point?

Lila: You’ll be fired for this!

Guard: Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard this all before.

Another guard just scoffed. “You’re only a model. One of many in the industry. Miss Mode doesn’t care for models.”

Lila: what are models if not the face of fashion?

“Spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only of themselves” Edna herself was at the entrance, wondering what was causing the disruption in her guest entrance flow.

Lila: How can you say that? Then why would Ladybug be my Best Friend?

Edna: the day Ladybug says she is your Best Friend is the day I wear crocs. And I don’t mean crocodile leather.

Edna points at a random guard. “You, get this so-called model out of the way. She is blocking the queue.

Oh by the way, Edna calling out Lila was caught on camera by the reporters.

One of them questioned why she was kicking out Gabriel’s muse when his son, a supermodel himself, was invited.

Edna: I did not invite the boy because of his face. I invited him because I saw potential (basically she realized he was Chat Noir. She would never invite Adrien otherwise. As seen from her quote, she doesn’t have a high opinion of models) That is, if he ever gets out of his father’s shadow. Because, let’s face it darling, what can Adrien do besides look pretty and play with swords and piano? You would think the boy would be in part of business meetings, but no. At this rate, Gabriel needs this gala to get out of that stuffy house. Realize that maybe his parenting methods are flawed compared to some other talented figures here. Look at Miss Kagami, focused on upholding her family legacy of fencing. MDC already knows how to run her own business after learning a bit from her parents. Even Audrey’s daughter has been joining in on becoming a fashion critic and throwing parties for political parties. But I must go, my guests await.

Back inside the party, guests were avoiding a seething Gabriel’s eyes. He had come to scout out the superhero guests, only to be called out by Edna on live tv.

Marinette went up to Edna and asked one of her fashion idols why she burned the Agrestes in public.

Edna: do you think Gabriel would change his parenting ways if we did not expose them to the influential figures of this industry, as well as the public eye? I guarantee you Adrien will be allowed more freedom of choice, lest Gabriel wants his son to be known as a coddled boy who can’t even make his own decisions.

Edna didn’t bother softening her sharp voice as she says these words.

Adrien flushed.

Quickly changing the subject, Marinette asked why Edna hated models.

Edna: it’s not that I hate them personally. I just hate their jobs and what they represent. Models nowadays are beautiful only according to the world standards. People who see them want to be like them, never mind that the models they see on the screen are airbrushed to unrealistic and impossible perfection. Now models focus only on their own appearance, trying to maintain their beauty as time ages them. They go on diets and become superficial. Whereas outside the modelling industry or such like, you don’t need to be stereotypically beautiful to be worthy. Where your worth is measured in kindness and bravery and talent and intelligence and anything beyond superficiality.

Adrien overheard and he frowned, not liking the idea where his appearance on ads is not exactly right. He only joined the company to make his father happy. But maybe it’s time he stepped into the business side of things and exit the modelling world. Bonus: no more Lila!

Edna snorted, “Though I must admit Gabriel surprised me with his newest model. Her attitude is lousy but she doesn’t strike me as a model. She just doesn’t have that model walk. But enough about the old man, my dear MDC, let’s talk about you. I love your gender-neutral line. And was wondering if you would like to join me in creating my next line of clothes for the Incredibles. A rare opportunity but I like style. Now take this offer before I change my mind.”

Marinette: wait, do I have to fly over or-

Edna: you are too excited, darling, but don’t worry, my assistants will send you the details.

Why are the Incredibles getting a new look? The kids are growing up and Edna wanted to move on to new styles.

As Marinette was flabbergasted, Audrey congratulated her for landing the job. Kagami and Adrien also beamed at her good fortune.

Even the Incredibles admitted they looked forward to working with her. Violet was a big fan.

Gabriel was seething and thought about akumatizing himself but come on, one villain against a room of superheroes? No thanks.

Drinking a glass of wine, he eventually admits that Edna had a point, however loudly and rudely it had been announced.

He would not be around forever and he wanted to leave the company in Adrien’s hands. In order for that to happen, his son needs to know business (if he can’t design, he can hire designers)

And yes, Lila was a lousy model. She survived by shooting with professional models who managed to overpower her mediocre work. But a deal was a deal. Besides, her contract was only for a year.

After the gala, Adrien happily quit modelling (aka Lila) to spend more time with his father, learning about how to run a company.

Marinette and Edna proudly claimed credit for the fashionable Incredibles.

Violet also became the talk of the school for her MDC exclusives.

Lila had been humiliated on air. Alya hesitated but finally did her research. At the end, she collapsed over the ruined credibility of her blog. But she can still get revenge by informing the principal, Ms Bustier and Mrs Rossi what Lila lied about. The perks of being a class vice president for a busy class president is that she also has the contacts list for emergencies.

Considering how Lila framed Marinette, there would be no suspension or detention. Only expulsion. Good luck finding a new school when Edna’s gala was a global topic.

When Lila returned to school for her last week (it takes time to gather evidence and get the attention of busy adults), nobody wanted to talk to her or even exchange glances. She quietly kept to herself, hoping for this to blow over soon. She was still a model working for Gabriel. She could befriend other supermodels (as if. Like they would want to befriend her after Edna called her out)

Hell, even her jobs were down. Gabriel just told her to take test shoots to fill up her portfolio until the hype died down (aka her contract expired)

When Lila was expelled, she was ready to be akumatized into Chameleon again. Except one problem. Everyone avoided her like hell so how could she kiss her target. Even Adrien was told to stay away lest his reputation be tarnished.

Ok, I admit it. I was hit by “I’m no Angel” quotes as I wrote this. But seriously, does anyone feel weird at the idea of trying to become thinner when your weight is just right, all the while you know there are people out there even thinner than you are and are starving, not because they want to be stereotypically thin, but because they cannot afford food?

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 22 - Sci Fi

New part is here! Just a few more in this world. Just realized that it's been about 1 year since I've started this story. Wow.

Masterpost linked here.

Enjoy!

____________________________

The school was greatly relieved to hear that I had made a Connection and was no longer a danger to myself and others. They immediately rescinded my suspension and "encouraged" me to resume training with my new partner as soon as possible. I found the quick 180 amusing, but didn't argue.

It took multiple video calls with Alaira’s father to reassure him that everything was okay, and a few more to prevent him from throwing a parade for Liam to thank him for matching his daughter. His tears of joy at the news was a complicated moment for me.

I had felt a deep sense of joy, but it was an emotion that didn’t belong to me... it belonged to Alaira. Watching him celebrate his daughter’s recovery felt hypocritical, knowing that in the world that I hadn’t taken over, his daughter hadn’t had a good end. She had died alone and afraid, her mind fragmented.

But there was no way to tell him that.

The mission completion status on my communication device had risen quickly from 1% to 42%. Liam and I spent every waking moment together, talking, joking, and learning about each other. We practiced making the connection with the Mech, powering and controlling it now a smooth, painless process. It was natural, coming as easily to me as breathing. Working with him felt less like learning with a new partner as gaining back a missing part of me.

I was happy.

But not everyone was glad to hear we had matched.

Shortly after our match was made public, Liam and I were walking down the hallway after class, and were forced to stop by a young, angry woman blocking our path.

“It’s a lie!” Princess Ilene glared at Liam as she faced us down. “William can’t be a real Connector! He’s always been just a useless waste. He's a stain on the royal family!”

Liam seemed unfazed by his sister’s cruel words, as if he were used to it. The lack of reaction and the implications behind it made me even angrier. I stepped forward, hiding him partly behind me, and smiled pleasantly. My expression and pleasant tone obviously confused the princess, who took a step back.

“Ilene, Ilene, there’s just so much wrong with what you said… I don’t even know where to begin!” I shrugged. “ But, correcting idiocy IS my calling in life, so let me give it a shot:”

Ilene’s face was red with rage, but I ignored her incoherent sputtering, holding up a finger.

“First, Liam is capable of making the connection. He just had a strong barrier. Obviously it isn't impossible, or he and I wouldn’t be matched. “ I held up a second finger. “Secondly, and more importantly: even if he COULDN’T make the connection, he still wouldn’t be useless. He’s a kind, wonderful person, and that’s more than you can say about most Guardians or Connectors… present company included.”

“ How dare…” Princess Ilene took a step back. “What are you trying to say?”

I blinked, shocked “Oh, was I not being obvious enough? I don’t like you. I think Liam is a much better human being than you, and find it pitiful that you try to derive your self worth from putting him down.”

Liam stepped forward, grabbing my hand. “It’s ok…”

“No, its not. You don’t deserve for people to call you trash.” I felt emotional, as if something deep inside me was trying to break free.

“It’s always been like this.” He shrugged, “I’m used to being alone.”

____________________________

“Friends, family?”

The man in front of me was smiling at my question, but the expression was so sad it made me want to cry.

“None.” He twisted his hands in his lap, looking away. “I’m supposed to be alone.”

“Why?”

“Supposedly that’s my fate.”

____________________________

“You are not trash.” I tightened my grip on Liam’s hand. “ and you’re not alone anymore.”

“I know.” He smiled, “Thanks.”

Princess Ilene spoke up, obviously tired of being ignored. “How dare you trample on Chris’s kindness and reject him for this tr…” She started to say the word “trash” but seeing my face, nervously trailed off and started again. “You don’t even know if you two have a high enough resonance match to ward off your mental degradation…!”

“We do. It’s gone.”

She paused, thrown by my matter of fact tone. “… But what if you’re a higher match with Chris…”

“Don’t care. I hate him.”

“… But…”

“You do bring up a good point, though.” I turned to Liam. “We should see what our resonance match rate is.”

He looked nervous. “What if it isn’t very high?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re already partners. I’m just curious.” I grinned. “Plus, I’m pretty sure it’s really high, and I’d love to use that to shut people up.”

He chuckled at that. “If it means that much to you to rub it into people’s faces...”

“It does.”

We walked towards the match center, leaving Princess Ilene stunned into silence behind.

____________________________

Liam got more anxious the closer we got to the match center. “You promise you won’t break our partnership if our match score is low?”

“You know I wouldn’t do that.” I didn’t feel insulted at his questioning. I could feel his insecurity, the need for me to say out loud what he thought he knew. “Low or high, we’re partners. You’re stuck with me.”

“Good.” He sighed, grinning. “I like being stuck with you.”

Finally, we were facing the machine that had failed us both so many times. Irrationally, I felt a little nervous, the many prior failures of the past few weeks too fresh and painful to completely forget.

Liam stepped away from me, reaching out and placed his hands on the panel first.

“Unrecognized tester. Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.”

I rubbed my forehead tiredly as the robotic rejection echoed loudly around the room; “I forgot your barrier is still around since it doesn’t effect me anymore.”

“Honestly, I had forgotten too.” He responded with a happy smile.

A crowd was starting to gather, curious at our actions. As more and more people realized what we were doing, I began hearing the whispering between them.

“Didn’t she go crazy?”

“...thought she couldn’t match?”

“He has a barrier? ...never could match.”

“I heard they already formed a connection.”

“Heard her dad is a general, spread the rumor of her matching so she wouldn’t get kicked out.”

“Isn’t she matched up with Chris?”

“Why are they here?”

I grabbed Liam’s hand again, feeling relieved when I felt his warm skin against my own. “Don’t listen to them.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.” He stared straight at me, ignoring the hostile words and gazes of the crowd. “You’re beside me, and that’s all that matters.”

I squeezed his hand in my own. A strong desire welled up within me to be worthy of the trust he gave me. I wanted to show everyone what Liam could do, the bond we had... but of course it couldn't be too easy.

“We just have to figure out how to get your barrier down enough for the machine to read you." I glanced down at my hand that was still holding his. "I mean, I’m touching you now, right? There’s no barrier between us?”

He stared down at our clasped hands, his cheeks tinged pink. “Yes, I feel you. I mean, no, there’s no barrier.”

“Good!" I gestured to the pad with my free hand. "Then why don't you try again while we're still touching each other?”

He placed his hand back on the machine.

“Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.” The machine's voice repeated itself calmly.

His hand fell away, frustrated. I could feel his anxiety, and worried deep down that I had made a wrong choice. I did this to reassure him that we are a good match. To shut up everyone saying that it's a made up story to justify the removal of my suspension. To prove to everyone that Liam isn't useless, even by their own stupid standards.

But none of this will happen if he can't use the machine.

I thought it over, and grinned as I came up with a plan. “Hmm… Well, there’s one other thing we can try…”

I leaned in and kissed him, grabbing his free hand with my own and placing it on the pad together. His breath caught in his chest and he froze in shock very briefly before kissing back. In that moment I almost forgot why I had kissed him in the first place, but the robotic voice quickly reminded me.

“Resonance match detected…. Scanning…. Resonance Frequency Match...100%.”

The voice had barely faded before there were shouts of shock from the crowd. The room descended into chaos at the announcement. I broke away from Liam, who was still distracted, and stared at him.

“Did that machine just say… we are a 100 PERCENT match? I didn’t even think that was possible!”

Liam blinked. “I’m sorry, I dinwhat did you say?”

“We’re a perfect match, Liam.” I laughed. “I knew this was a great idea!”

Definitely didn't completely doubt the plan halfway through... yep.

“So… no one can separate us then?” His body relaxed, and he reached out, pulling me against himself and hugging me tightly. I felt the trembling of his muscles and knew that the anxiety he had shown was only the tip of the iceberg. His true fears and insecurities were still well hidden, even from me.

I hugged him back, waiting for him to back away. The crowd’s murmuring were now a loud roar, as everyone discussed a match rate that most thought impossible to achieve. And there, in the back of the crowd, I saw a solitary figure standing there, watching us with a blank stare.

Chris.

I shuddered, holding Liam tighter. The first thing I had done when Liam and I announced our match was to report to the authorities Chris holding me in his room. I suspected him of drugging me as well, remembering the prick of the needle before falling unconscious.

I was laughed at.

“Why would a student with a crystal clear reputation go out of his way to kidnap a general’s daughter? He already had a match, a better one than his resonance with you if I recall. If anyone had motive to kidnap someone, it would be you to him!”

The words were cutting, made worse by the pity on their faces.

“It’s obvious: your mind was breaking down due to the strain without a Connector, and came up with this fantastical plot of being kidnapped.”

And despite my objections, the claim was dropped. I hadn’t seen Chris since the day we parted in his room.

Until now.

His gaze held mine. He was expressionless, watching us with a detached, almost clinical air. I would have almost thought he was bored, or at least uncaring about the situation in front of him… if not for his eyes…

His eyes were burning with rage.

I looked away first feeling an odd sense of familiarity, as if something similar had happened before.

____________________________

A few days later Liam and I had our first mock battle. Suspended together in the Connection chamber within the Mech, the constant physical and mental connection with Liam made operating the Mech much easier than it ever had been alone.

I fought with a sword, having abandoned the dual guns completely. I breathed a sigh of relief at the speed I could move at as I ducked under the enemy Mech’s attack. Turning with the spin of my dodge, I used the momentum and I swung around to slash the torso of our opponent with the sword.

“Nice hit!” Liam’s voice in my headset was excited. He was cheering me on along the way, spurring me to show off with more complex moves when possible, hoping to impress him.

I pressed the attack, slamming the Mech with the shoulder of ours, and kicking it to the ground before it could recover its balance. The movements were smooth, and my head was clear of any pain. The prior drain and discomfort of controlling the giant robot was completely gone.

As our opponent fell to the ground, I pressed the tip of the sword into the Mech’s neck. The referee called out our victory, and the crowd around the arena cheered, but it was just noise to me. All that mattered was Liam’s excited babbling in my ear.

“That was awesome! I’ve always wondered what it felt like to win a Mech fight, and it’s so much cooler than I ever imagined! This is great! When can we fight again?”

“Glad you had fun, Liam.” I laughed at the innocent delight in his voice. After the stress and pain I had experienced since waking up in this world, the uncertainty of who I was and why I was here, there was something simple and healing about being by Liam’s side.

I feel happy.

I was nervous about admitting it, even to myself, as if the simple acknowledgement of the positive emotion would be enough to destroy it. But I couldn’t deny it. I WAS happy.

After we had undocked and changed, Liam and I relaxed in the fighter’s lounge. Liam as always, had a container that he pulled out of a bag, opening it to reveal a slice of cake. I took it from him with a murmur of thanks, and after the first bite sighed with joy.

“I've been meaning to ask you: Where do you get this cake? It's obviously not from the school shop, it’s way too good!”

Liam smiled at the question. “I made it myself.” Usually more quiet and shy, he seemed very confident when it came to matters such as food. The change in his attitude was something I loved to see.

“Really? You made it? This is too delicious… if only I could have this all the time.” I took another bite, savoring it. As I swallowed, I looked up at him and joked. "Yep, I think the only solution would be for me to just marry you.”

“…” There was a strange silence in the room. I ate some more cake, unconcerned at first, but as the awkward stillness stretched on I paused in my actions, turning towards Liam again with a questioning look.

His face was bright red, and he stared at me with a look of shock and joy.

“Liam?”

He nodded, and blushing more, pulled out his communication device, dialing a number.

“Who are you calling…?”

Alaira’s father, General Gladus showed up on the holographic projection from his device. He stared at Liam, confused for a moment, before barking out with a frown. “Who is this?”

Liam sat up straight, staring at the man with a solemn expression. “General Gladus, my name is William. I am the third born of the Royal family, and a first year student at the academy, and a Level S Connector.”

General Gladus grinned. “I know who you are, son. You’re the wonderful young man who matched with my daughter. I’ve been wanting to talk with you and thank you…”

“Your daughter has asked me to marry her and I have agreed.”

“What?”

“What?”

My father and I asked in unison.

“I was very happy to receive your daughter’s offer of marriage. I will do my very best to support her in all her endeavors.”

“She proposed?”

I silently mouthed an echoing question as my father burst out loudly. “I proposed?”

Liam nodded. “I wanted to let you know so that you could arrange for military leave and be present for our wedding. I know the paperwork can take weeks to months. ”

“…” General Gladus looked stunned. Slowly, his hologram turned towed me. “Alaira, is this true?”

"Yeah, military leave paperwork is notoriously slow..."

He interrupted. "No I mean about the engagement!"

I glanced over at Liam’s excited face.

____________________________

“I don’t believe it’s real.” He whispered, staring down at our hands that were clasped together. “I thought that I was always going to be alone. I thought my fate… my role… ”

I fiddled with the silver band in my hand, trying it on his finger. “Screw fate. We’re getting married now.”

“Yeah.” He grinned, the smile lighting up his face, making the whole room brighter. “Screw fate. I’m your husband!”

____________________________

I shrugged. “What can I say? We’re a destined couple.” I briefly explained about our 100% resonance match.

“… Did you say 100% match?” At my nod, General Gladus opened up his arms. “Welcome to family! When's the wedding?”

After a few more minutes of discussion, Liam hung up, still looking happy.

“Should we notify your parents?”

His face froze. When his gaze finally rose to met mine I shrunk back from the dull look I saw there.

“No reason to.” He reached out, tucking back my hair. “A family without love is just blood related acquaintances. You’re my real family, wife.”

I hugged him again. “That’s right. I’m your family.” I hadn’t really meant to propose… it was just a joke. But the second he called me wife, my heart had felt a sense of recognition. It was happy, but also hurt, a deep remembered pain. A panicked feeling rose up within me, as fear, despair and sadness came in waves, before leaving quickly, overwhelming me without warning or reason. I desperately wanted to remember something, to tear open the fog clouding my brain and peer at what was hidden behind it. But I couldn't.

You must accept your fate. A metallic voice rang in my head, cold, dispassionate, filled with undeniable.

“No.” I whispered, tears filling my eyes even if I wasn’t sure why they were there.

Liam noticed my distress. “Alaira?”

“I'm fine." I think we should go back to practice.” I pulled him to his feet. “We’ll talk more about this later.”

“You’re right, let’s continue working hard so we can save the world like you wanted. But on our next break, we have a wedding to plan!” For the first time, Liam was more excited than me to get to practice. He grabbed my hand and raced forward.

____________________________

Later that night, I went back to my dorm room, still thinking over my last conversation with Liam. He was energetically talking about wedding plans, making lists and drawings with the hologram on his communicator, storing them in special file with my name on it.

When I asked him why he was so excited, he paused, staring down at his hands. “Have you ever felt a desire that was so strong, it seemed to be beyond anything you’ve experienced before?” He glanced up. “I feel this, Alaira. Deep in my soul. I want to be by your side. I want to marry you, but even if you didn’t want that, I’d be your minion or your sidekick. Being by you… helping you… it’s such an integral part of myself, I couldn’t separate from it if I tried.”

“Liam…”

“I think I believe in reincarnation and soul mates.” He smiled. “I’m so happy right now that I think this has to be a hallucination, it can’t be real.”

“I don’t believe it’s real.” I felt the memory of the young man’s whisper in my head again, and pushing it back, I leaned forward to kiss Liam gently.

“It’s real.”

Now alone in my room, I couldn’t help but feel bewildered by the connection with Liam, the emotions and memories that accompanied every moment with him.

“Who am I?” I leaned against the wall and whispered to myself.

“That is the question isn’t it?”

At the unexpected answer I straightened up, falling into a defensive stance. Recognizing the intruder did not make relax, however. If anything it made me more tense.

“Chris. What are you doing here?” I kept my voice calm, trying to hide my inner tension.

“I’m getting tired, Bel.” He sat down on my bed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m just… so tired of all this.”

“What did you call me?” The name resonated with me, much more than “Alaira” ever had.

He ignored me. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to give up right away. It promised me…”

The room fell into silence. I stood as still as a statue, barely daring to breathe. I was desperate to hear more, terrified to let him continue speaking. Chris’s voice was different, his tone filled with years of regret. His eyes when they stared at me, seemed to look right through me, as if seeing through my skin to something deeper and more profound.

“Why can’t you just accept your fate, Bel?” He sighed, the sound seeming to drag on too long. “Everything depends on it.”

“What do you…?”

“The lower realms you treasure… the friends you’ve made… even…” He hesitated. “Even his existence depends on everyone having their role and playing their part.”

“I don’t understand what you mean, Chris.”

“MY NAME ISN’T CHRIS!” He yelled, the sound startling in the otherwise silent room. “Just like yours isn’t Alaira. Just like his… it wasn’t supposed to be…”

“Liam?”

”THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HIS NAME!” Chris, or whoever he was, stood up, his face red with rage. “He corrupted it! He refused his role, and ended up tricking you to do the same.” He stepped closer. “Why do you always force me to be the one who has to carry the weight of the realms on my shoulders? Why does he get to be the only one who is happy? I don’t want to play these games anymore, Bel.”

“I’m not playing games!” I shouted back, frustrated. “I don’t remember anything!”

“And you won’t. Not until it’s over. But it will be soon. Because I’m going to end it.” He walked towards the door, preparing to leave, only stopping when I grabbed his arm.

“No. You aren’t leaving until you explain what you meant.”

His eyes lit up briefly at our contact, and I pulled my hand away quickly. “You made a bet, Bel, and these are rules you can’t escape. All it takes is one failed mission. One failure before you can finish the task of piecing together your soul.”

“Piecing together…?” His words struck a chord within me, but I shook my head. “I may not understand anything going on, but I’ll tell you this: I won’t fail my mission.”

The light is his eyes dimmed. “You started this. Just remember that, when you regret everything. You. Started. This.”

He left through room, slamming the door behind him. I stood in place, staring blankly, my mind racing.

Realms, real names, missions and bets… I don’t understand any of it.

But I knew one thing, as certainly as if it were imprinted on my soul.

I would not accept my fate.

Even if I couldn’t remember what that fate was.

Even if I had to destroy fate itself to escape it.

[ibijau]

Futures past pt5 / on AO3

Nie Huaisang chats with Su She, and gets reminded of his mission

"I swear, if that shixiong of yours doesn't stop sneering like that every time he sees you, I'm stealing you," Nie Huaisang grumbled as they walked away from the training grounds. “And then da-ge will be happy to have another hard working disciple, and you will be happy to never deal with those stuck up idiots, and I will be happy to have a friend at home!”

Su She rolled his eyes, but there was a faint smile on his lips that pleased Nie Huaisang. He’d figured out pretty quickly that Su She liked being praised, reacting to it like a man lost in the desert who'd found an oasis. It was funny, and a little cute, and Nie Huaisang was only too happy to build up his new friend’s self esteem. When Su She was in a good mood, he was a little more willing to help Nie Huaisang with his homework, at least some of the time. He refused to actually do the work for Nie Huaisang, which was a shame, but just getting help was already something.

And it was help that Nie Huaisang desperately needed.

As weeks passed, it had become quite obvious that he was horrifyingly bad at studying, his grade plummeting down with each new test and surprise quiz. At least he could somewhat manage his homework if Su She or Lan Xichen were helping him, but… but he kept being punished because of his bad grades, meaning he ended up with very little time to spend with either of them. When he went to Lan Xichen’s house, he usually did some homework because that was easier than making conversation, but it didn’t happen that often. As for Su She… well, there were more fun things they could do together, and Nie Huaisang would fail his classes no matter what, so why waste time on something as stupid as homework now it was all obviously in vain?

“What’s the plan today?” Nie Huaisang asked.

"My mother sent me some treats from home and I don't mind sharing," Su She announced. "She figured I'd be sad, since I'm not able to go back for Qingming this year either. The teachers say my attitude isn't good enough yet, and going home might ruin all my progress." 

"They're all too hard on you, I swear." 

Su She shrugged. He was used to this. From what Nie Huaisang understood, most outer disciples were treated quite harshly until they proved they could be trusted to follow the rules. It might not have been so bad if Su She had been more the side to bend his neck and obey everything like some of the others, but he really had too much pride for a disciple of Gusu Lan. Still, being away from home for Qingming was harsh. 

Of course, Nie Huaisang too was stuck in the Cloud Recesses. In his case, that was because the trip would have been too long when he couldn't fly on his sabre, and Lan Qiren had warned Nie Mingjue that it would be bad for his brother to miss any classes due to that. The other Nie disciples had no such problem though, so they'd left and he was currently all alone in the cabin they shared.

Nie Huaisang didn't mind. A little quiet was nice. 

“Let’s go to my cabin to have some tea,” Nie Huaisang offered. “We can eat what your mother sent, and I should also still have some sweets, and I don’t mind sharing if it’s with you.”

It was, actually, almost the last of the candies he’d brought from home, and he hadn’t been able to get more. Students were allowed days off to visit the nearby town sometimes, but Nie Huaisang had been denied that privilege on account of his grades. He had thought of going anyway, but so far his fear of Lan Qiren still outweighed his desperate need for something fun. If Su She had been willing to come with him, perhaps… but Su She wasn’t exactly in a great position either, and didn’t want to make his situation worse by purposefully breaking rules, so they were both stuck inside the Cloud Recesses, the most beautiful prison in the world.

But it was a prison with decent company, and Su She agreed to that offer for tea. With just the two of them, they were able to get quite cozy in the Nie cabin. They dropped on the floor all the blankets in the cabin so they could sit in decadent comfort, at least by Cloud Recesses' standards. Half sprawled by the table, they drank the best tea Nie Huaisang had to offer at that moment (he promised, not for the first time, that one day he’d invite Su She to visit the Unclean Realm where he had access to much better leaves), traded treats much sweeter and tastier than anything usually available to eat away from home, and chatted quite freely, knowing there was nobody around to scold them if they got too gossipy. 

Su She, who tried so hard to never say anything bad about his fellow disciples where someone might here, ended up spitting a lot of venom on all those other Lan juniors, sparring neither inner nor outer disciples and denouncing their treatment of him as unfair.

“After all,” he spat, “I’m a much better musician than Han Mingzhe and Bao Tong, and my swordsmanship is at least as good as Li Xiaoping, but they don’t get scolded as much. But Bao Tong and Li Xiaoping have parents who are rogue cultivators, and Han Mingzhe’s parents are farmers which is at least honourable, while my father is a merchant, and a rich one at that. Everyone says I just bought my way into cultivation!”

Nie Huaisang frowned, looking down at his currently empty cup. This, he thought, would have been a conversation better accompanied by some wine. Complaining while drinking tea just wasn’t as fun.

“It’s stupid,” he said. “I mean, sure you can buy pills and all, but that wouldn’t take you very far with Gusu Lan’s style, that’s more of a Jin thing.”

Immediately, Su She hunched up his shoulders and looked down, a spot of colour on his cheeks.

“Actually my father tried to get me into Lanling Jin at first,” Su She muttered, sounding ashamed of the confession. “But they didn’t want me because I didn’t know anything about using a sword and they said I was already too old to be taught. Then we tried Gusu Lan, because we’d heard they use music, and I’m good at that. They also said I was a bit old, but they still took me in because they said I might catch up if I worked hard enough. But some of the other juniors still heard about me trying for Lanling Jin, and they’re convinced I must have cheated somehow, and… Well, a merchant’s son, no way I can have gotten here on my own merit, eh? Merchants are all dishonest, right?”

Nie Huaisang grimaced, because he could just imagine the sort of things that Su She might have been accused of. Even his brother’s sect, which tried to reward merit and talent above all else, wasn’t always kind to anyone coming from a merchant’s family. It was a profession with money, but that didn't count all that much when the way they'd gotten that money was through the work of others, not like farmers or scholars who put such high efforts into their respective crafts. Of course, being descended from butchers, the Nie couldn’t exactly look down on others for their origins, and yet…

“Have you told the seniors about this?” he asked Su She.

His friend shrugged and scoffed.

“What for? Most of them agree, or they wouldn’t be so hard on me.”

“Then… what if I told Lan Xichen?” Nie Huaisang offered. “If he says something in your favour, then everyone else will have to be nice to you!”

“Lan gongzi despises me,” Su She muttered. “Sometimes I cross paths with him, and he looks at me like I’m lower than dirt. With everyone else he’s nice, but me… it’s like he hates me, personally. And it’s worse when I’m with you.”

Nie Huaisang's enthusiasm deflated at the reminder.

At least, this confirmed it wasn’t just his imagination. He also thought he had noticed that Lan Xichen appeared to harbour some kind of personal dislike toward Su She, but he couldn’t understand why. By all accounts, Su She had always managed to be perfectly polite around the sect leader’s sons, and while his personality wasn’t the most Lan-like, Nie Huaisang knew his friend had never done anything that cast shame upon his sect. It might have been about Su She’s origins then, but somehow that didn’t sound right either.

Lan Xichen was a little boring, but he put great value on his sect’s rules, and those rules said clearly that people should be judged by their actions, not their origins. Nie Huaisang had copied those damn rules often enough to know that. It really was so odd for Lan Xichen to react like this to Su She, and that made Nie Huaisang want to understand why. Everything else about Lan Xichen was so boring, but this detail made him feel like there might be some personality in the older boy after all.

“I could still ask him to do something,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “He can look the other way if nobody tells him, but I’m a young master of a sect too. I'm not very good at being one, but when I say something, he still had to listen. And if I tell him his father’s disciples are little shits, he’ll have to do something, or all of Gusu Lan will lose face.”

Su She’s expression only turned darker. “It will just make everyone hate me more, even the ones who didn’t care before. Please don’t say anything. I’m just going to work harder, and prove everyone wrong, and when I’m good enough I’ll…” he pinched his lips and dropped his gaze to the table. “They’ll see, they’ll all see. When I’m good enough, I’ll show them all, and everyone will regret that they didn’t respect me.”

Nie Huaisang nodded, and even patted Su She on the shoulder, feeling quite sorry for him. He’d never thought about it before, but the way things were was a little unfair. Su She was so hard working and getting results for his effort, but people treated him like dirt, while Nie Huaisang couldn’t be bothered with anything and would have failed even if he tried, but everyone still felt forced to treat him with a minimum of respect because of his brother.

It really wasn’t fair at all, but all Nie Huaisang could do was stand by Su She and make it clear he saw his friend’s talent, even if everybody else was too damn stupid to notice him.

Nie Huaisang couldn't do anything to help, but he made sure to give Su She the last of his candies, and hoped that counted for something.

-

It was always too damn quiet in the Cloud Recesses at night, and Nie Huaisang struggled to get used to it. Back home, there was always the noise of something happening somewhere. Disciples who'd decided to continue training after sunset, those on watch duty doing their rounds, servants going about their business... it was a constant reminder that people were around and the world was safe.

In the Cloud Recesses, there was nothing. If not for the snoring coming from one of his companions, Nie Huaisang might as well have been alone in the world.

Nobody was snoring that night. He was alone, and would be for at least two more, until the others returned from seeing their families and honouring their ancestors.

It was annoying enough to be stuck in this lonely quiet place in daylight, when he could at least see people, when he’d been able to pester Su She and feel less alone. Only Su She had long returned to the dorms he shared with other Lan disciples, and Nie Huaisang was alone in this deafening silence.

That was why he couldn’t sleep.

That was why he heard those footsteps coming near his bed, when there shouldn’t have been anyone else in that lonely cabin. It couldn’t be a demon or a ghost, not in the Cloud Recesses, which should have been a comfort. Once, before his father went mad, it would have been.

There were things against which no magical barrier could offer protection.

The footsteps came to a stop near the bed. Nie Huaisang silently shivered under his blanket, biting into his fist to avoid making any sound. If he was quiet, if he pretended not to be there, things would be fine. It had worked whenever his father went into a rage. Back then, as long as Nie Huaisang didn't move, his father seemed not to see him, a trick he'd figured out very quickly and shared with Nie Mingjue.

Maybe it would work here too.

Or maybe not.

Nie Huaisang felt a hand grab his blanket, and all coherent thoughts left him. He shrieked in terror as he leapt out of his bed, nearly falling face first onto the floor but caught at the last moment by strong, slender hands.

“What are you crying like that for?” he heard a strange yet familiar voice huff. “Do you really think anyone would dare attack you here? It’s only me.”

Blinking away a few tears, Nie Huaisang scrambled to stand up while his future self watched him with an unimpressed expression.

“Sorry,” Nie Huaisang muttered, trying to put some order to his night clothes. “I get scared at night sometimes. Well, you’d know. Do… Does it get better?”

“No,” the older man bearing his face said, opening his fan. It was a different one from last time, but just as gorgeous. “It gets worse. I don’t sleep much these days. Haven’t in years. It’s a waste of time anyway.”

Nie Huaisang, who often thought that sleeping was the best part of his day, as long as he didn’t start panicking over nothing, didn’t know what to answer to that. He had a feeling his opinion on the matter wasn’t required anyway.

“So, uh, aside from sleeping, how have you been?” he awkwardly asked. “Anything interesting happened to you? How does time even pass for you? Did you also have to wait for several months, or is it just after the last time we talked for you?”

His future self glared and sharply closed his fan, making Nie Huaisang jump and effectively silencing him.

"How is Lan Xichen?” the man asked. “Have you made progress with him yet?" 

"We've talked here and there, but he's always so busy," Nie Huaisang muttered, wringing his hands. “It's really hard to chat with him, you know. And he’s got such boring hobbies, too.”

Not music and painting, those were valid ways to pass time, in Nie Huaisang’s opinion. And sometimes, serious people couldn’t avoid doing some amount of work, so he didn't even begrudge Lan Xichen that either.

But Nie Huaisang hadn’t taken long to realise that whenever they were spending time together, Lan Xichen wasn’t actually doing any sect work. After all, Nie Mingjue had tried to force his little brother to help with those things, so he knew what that looked like. And it wasn't calligraphy either that occupied the older boy, because Nie Huaisang loved that and would have struck a conversation about it if given a chance.

Instead, Lan Xichen had made a hobby of copying books and treaties.

Nie Huaisang had asked, once or twice, if Lan Xichen was trying to learn those texts by heart. The older boy had very awkwardly agreed that he was indeed doing just that, but he hadn’t sounded very convinced. He really was such a poor liar. Lan Xichen was going to be awful at politics if he didn’t learn how to conceal his thoughts. Then again, he wasn’t always like that, was he? With most people he was placid and radiating a sort of empty warmth. It was just around Nie Huaisang that he would get weird, and maybe around Su She as well, as if his disdain was just too great to be contained.

Just as Nie Huaisang was about to ask his older self if he’d ever found out what he and his friend had done to Lan Xichen to be so disliked by him, the man grabbed him by the collar and shook him.

"I thought I'd told you this was essential," his older self hissed, sounding too much like Nie Huaisang's father all of a sudden. "And you’re still only thinking about having fun! Do you want da-ge to die?" 

"Of course not!" 

"Then get serious about this,” the man ordered, shaking his young self once more before pushing him away with enough force that Nie Huaisang stumbled and nearly fell. “You have to earn Lan Xichen's trust, or he will choose the wrong friend, idiot that he is."

"Well, can't you give me hints?” Nie Huaisang mumbled in a trembling voice, trying again to straighten his clothes in spite of shaking hands. “You've got to know more about him than I do, can't you tell me how I'm supposed to get close to him?" 

This, of course, earned him another disdainful glare.

"I don't remember the boy he was," his future self said, "and the man he became was never worth my attention. Figure this out on your own, and be useful for once."

It struck Nie Huaisang as very unfair that his future self was allowed to not have anything to do with Lan Xichen, but wouldn't extend the same kindness to him. It also worried him that the man before him disliked Lan Xichen so much. Nie Huaisang just found the older boy a little boring, but he didn't have any particularly strong opinion about him. 

“You can’t do that!” he complained, clenching his fists. “You can’t… I’ve got to be told things! And if you can’t tell me about how to get close to Lan Xichen, then… then at least tell my why it’s important, and why… how does da-ge die, anyway?”

“Murdered, I’ve told you that already.”

Nie Huaisang stumped his foot. “There’s so many ways to murder someone, that doesn’t narrow it down at all! Tell me how, and tell me who…” He trailed off, a horrible suspicion hitting him. “Did… did Lan Xichen…”

Just thinking of it, Nie Huaisang felt a little faint and had to stumble against the closest wall, just to get some support. Whatever he thought of Lan Xichen, that was still his brother’s closest friend, Nie Mingjue's only friend. And besides, Lan Xichen didn’t strike him as a murderer. People changed, certainly, but how could a person have changed that much?

And yet his own future self, standing before him, was proof that such a complete transformation was possible. Nie Huaisang really didn’t see anything of himself in that man, nothing except his aged up face and perhaps a taste for fashion.

“Lan Xichen is too much of a coward,” his older self proclaimed, mouth twisting in disgust. “But he helped the murderer, willingly or not, and sided with him so many times that I’ve never dared come to him with the truth. I wasn’t sure he’d trust me, even with proof. I still have my opinion on that, whatever some others think he'd have done. But you…” he waved his closed fan toward Nie Huaisang. “You might change that. Da-ge’s opinion alone wasn’t enough, but Lan Xichen has no will of his own, he’ll be easily swayed if two people he trusts are denouncing the true nature of the man he protects. That’s all I feel safe telling you at the moment. I don’t trust you not to mess things up if you know too much. You only learned too late to keep your mouth shut.”

It still sounded odd to Nie Huaisang that Lan Xichen could ever side against Nie Mingjue. Not long ago, he would have called his older self a liar, because Lan Xichen was boring but honest and just. Now though, having seen how Lan Xichen looked at Su She who had never done him any wrong… maybe it was possible that Lan Xichen would turn into a bad man, since he was clearly capable of being unjust after all.

“I’ll work harder to get close to him,” Nie Huaisang promised, pushing himself away from the wall now that he felt steadier again. “I really will. Maybe I can ask him to help with lessons a little more… I really need it, if I want to pass.”

“You’re not going to pass,” his older self announced. “It’s fine. Da-ge will send you here again, and you’ll meet some useful allies.”

At the news, Nie Huaisang let out a deep, heartfelt sigh. Having to come back in this boring place for another year sounded like torture, even with Su She for company. And then, meeting more people his future self wanted him to befriend… weren’t these people going to be just as boring as Lan Xichen?

While Nie Huaisang despaired, his adult self turned to check on something only he could see, and huffed.

“I’m running out of time. Fine, let’s be quick. Did you bring with you the information I gave you last time about Meng Yao?”

“Yes, I have it.”

Nie Huaisang took a step toward the place he’d stored his qiankun pouch, but his older self stopped him with a gesture.

“That Night Hunt in Yunping should happen fairly soon now. You have to go,” the older man ordered. “One way or another, you have to go. I don’t know when else we’d have such a chance to alter Meng Yao’s fate, and it is vital that he doesn’t enter Lanling Jin. Do whatever you must do, take whatever risk you must take, but make sure Meng Yao cannot join the Jin.”

Nie Huaisang obediently nodded, half spooked by the edge in his older self’s voice whenever he said that Meng Yao’s voice. Hating someone was just too much effort in his opinion, but apparently he’d grow to hate that Meng Yao person. But if that person was fated to play a part in Nie Mingjue’s death… in that case, and that case alone, Nie Huaisang could imagine he’d maybe become enraged enough to do something about it.

“I’ll do my best,” Nie Huaisang promised, hoping he wouldn’t have to actually kill anyone. Murder was messy, and Nie Mingjue would be cross, even if it was to save his life.

“I know what your best is,” his older self snapped. “You’ll have to do better than that. Take care of Meng Yao, get in Lan Xichen’s good graces, and then… then we’ll see,” he mused. “Depending on how well you do that, there might still be a few loose threads to cut. Xue Yang and Su She didn’t need the Jin to make trouble, we might do everyone a service and…”

“What about Su She?” Nie Huaisang cried out, grasping the older man’s wrists.

He was roughly pushed away, and earned a nasty glare for his outburst.

“Don’t mind that yet,” his older self said, straightening his sleeves. “All that matters for now is Meng Yao and Lan Xichen. Focus on them, I’ll explain the rest when the time comes.”

“But that’s…”

“I’ll return in a few months. You’d better have good news for me next time.”

Nie Huaisang launched himself at the older man, wanting to grab him again and force him to explain why he’d mentioned Su She. His hands found only empty air and he stumbled forward, falling to his knees on the hard wooden floor. It hurt, and might even bruise later, but Nie Huaisang didn’t even think to rub them or cry.

He knelt there far too long in that lonely cabin, and wondered what might happen in the future that would cause him to treat Su She as an enemy.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Podcasting "Qualia"

This week on my podcast, I read “Qualia,” my May, 2021 Locus Magazine column about quantitative bias, epidemiology, antitrust and drug policy. It’s a timely piece, given the six historic antitrust laws that passed the House Judiciary Committee last week:

https://doctorow.medium.com/moral-hazard-and-monopoly-42e30eb159a8

The pandemic delivered some hard lessons about quantitative bias — that’s when you pay attention to the parts of a problem that you can do math on, not because they’re the most important, but because you know how to do math.

The most obvious lesson comes from the failure of exposure notification apps, which were supposed to take the place of “shoe-leather” contact tracing, wherein a public health workers establish personal rapport with infected people to help identify others who might be at risk.

Contact tracing is a human process, built on trust: trust enough to talk about the intimate details of your life, trust enough to take advice on how to get tested and whether you should self-isolate.

That’s not what apps do.

Exposure notification apps measure whether a Bluetooth device you registered was close to another Bluetooth device for a “clinically significant” period of time.

That’s it.

They don’t measure qualitative aspects, like whether you were close to an infected person because you were in the same traffic jam in adjacent, sealed automobiles — or whether you were both at the Ft Lauderdale eyeball-licking championship.

And they certainly don’t create the personal rapport that’s needed to understand each person’s idiosyncratic health circumstances and complications — whether they need child care, or are at risk of losing their under-the-table jobs if they self-isolate.

We didn’t want to commit the resources to do contact tracing at scale, we didn’t know how to automate it — but we did know how to automate exposure notification, so we incinerated the qualitative elements and declared the dubious quantitative residue to be sufficient.

It’s the quant’s version of searching for your car keys under the lamp-post because it’s too dark where you dropped them.

It’s not just foolish, it’s also deceptive — quantizing qualitative elements is a subjective exercise that produces numbers that seem objective.

This is where antitrust law comes in. Prior to the neoliberal revolution of the Reagan years, antitrust concerned itself with “harmful dominance,” with regulators asking whether mergers and commercial practices were bad for the world.

Obviously, “bad for the world” is hard to measure. Regulators evaluated claims from all corners: both political scientists worried about the outsized lobbying power of large companies and workers worried about monopolies’ outsized power over wages and conditions got a say.

So did environmentalists, urban planners, and yes, economists, too.

The Chicago School — hard-right conservative economists with cult-like status among Reagan and big business simps — insisted that all this qualitative stuff had to go.

They argued that consideration of qualitative elements left too much up to judges, so two similar companies engaged in similar conduct might get different verdicts out of the antitrust system. This, they said, make a mockery of the notion of “equal treatment before the law.”

Instead, the Chicago Boys — led by Robert Bork, a Nixonite criminal and a sort of court sorcerer to Reagan — demanded that qualitative measures be left behind in favor of a purely quantitative analysis of whether a monopoly hurt “consumer welfare.”

The way you’d measure “consumer welfare” was by checking to see whether a monopoly was making prices go up — if not, the monopoly was deemed “efficient” and thus socially beneficial. Prices are numbers, numbers can be measured.

But that’s not how it worked in practice. When two companies wanted to merge, they could hire a Chicago fixer to construct a mathematical model that “proved” that they resulting megafirm would not raise prices.

No one could argue with this, because Chicago School consultants had a monopoly over building and interpreting these models — the same way court magicians laid exclusive claim to the ability to slaughter an animal and read the future in its guts.

And if the prices did go up? Well, the same Chicago model-makers would be paid to produce a new model to prove that the price-rises were not the result of monopoly, but rather, rising energy costs or higher wages or the moon being in Venus.

Even by their own lights, “consumer welfare” was a failure. Monopolies drive prices up. Amazon Prime is a tool to drive up prices in every store, not just Amazon:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/01/you-are-here/#prime-facie

Apple’s App Store monopoly drives up app prices:

https://www.engadget.com/2019-05-13-supreme-court-apple-app-store-price-fixing-lawsuit.html

Luxxotica bought every eyewear brand and every eyewear retailer and the world’s largest optical lens manufacturer and drove prices up 1000%:

https://www.latimes.com/business/lazarus/la-fi-lazarus-glasses-lenscrafters-luxottica-monopoly-20190305-story.html

The highly concentrated pharma industry raises prices every single year:

https://patientsforaffordabledrugs.org/2021/01/14/2021-price-hikes-pr/

What’s more, there’s a straight line from “consumer welfare” to price-fixing.

Think about publishing. A decade ago, the Big Six publishers were embroiled in a bid to force Amazon to raise ebook prices, which led to fines and settlements for harming “consumer welfare.”

Today, the Big Six publishers are the Big Four, because Random House, the largest publisher in the world, gobbled up Penguin and Simon & Schuster. When RH, S&S and Penguin were three companies, it was illegal for them to collude on pricing.

But after their mergers, the three former CEOs — now presidents of divisions within an unimaginably giant company — can meet in a board room and plan exactly the same price-fixing strategy, and that isn’t illegal under “consumer welfare” antitrust — it’s “efficient.”

The Chicago School’s “consumer welfare” was only ever a front for “shareholder welfare,” the ability of large firms to avoid “wasteful competition” and extract an ever-larger share of the take for shareholders at the expense of customers, workers and the public.

The entire business of “consumer welfare” is a fraud, starting with Robert Bork’s insistence that a close reading of the US’s four major antitrust laws will reveal that they were never intended to be used for any purpose *other* than consumer welfare protections.

This is manifestly untrue, a Qanon-grade conspiracy that is refuted by the plain language of the statutes, the statements of their sponsors, and the record of the Congressional debates leading to their passage.

Despite the wealth of evidence that US antitrust is not a “consumer welfare” project, neoliberals have insisted that their project was not “reforming” antitrust, but rather, “restoring” it to its original purpose.

It’s a Big Lie, and they know it. That’s why GOP Senators Mike Lee (UT) and Chuck Grassley (IA) introduced “The TEAM Act to Reform Antitrust Law” — a bill intended to neutralize the muscular new antitrust bills that just passed the House committee.

https://washingtonmonthly.com/2021/06/25/the-plan-to-water-down-antitrust-reform/

The bill does two things:

It takes antitrust authority away from the FTC, sidelining the incredible Lina Khan, a once-in-a-generation antitrust scholar who now runs the agency; and

It codifies “consumer welfare” as the basis for US antitrust law.

That second part is the tell: after 40 years of insisting that any rational reading of US antitrust proved that “consumer welfare” was obviously its sole purpose, they’re now introducing a law to *change* its purpose to “consumer welfare.”

Like the Stolen Election lie, they never truly believed this one. The pose of objectivity that quantizing antitrust allowed was never about creating a truly objective standard for competition policy — it was only ever about neutering competition policy.

The thing is, there is a way to integrate both the objective and subjective into policy-making — as was demonstrated by David Nutt’s 2008 leadership of the UK’s Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, which established the policy framework for a wide range of drugs.

Nutt’s panel of experts rated drugs based on how harmful they were to their users, the users’ families, and wider society. This allowed him to sort drugs into three categories:

Drugs that were dangerous irrespective of your public health priorities;

Drugs that were safe irrespective of your public health priorities; and

Drugs whose safety changed based on whether you prioritized the safety of users, families or society.

Those priorities are a political choice, not an empirical finding. Nutt told Parliament that it was their job to establish those subjective priorities, and once they did, he could objectively tell them how to embody them in the rules for each drug.

This is a beautiful example of how the objective and subjective fit together in policy — and the tale of what happened next is a terrible example of how “consumer welfare” hurts us all.

You see, booze is one of the most concentrated industries in the world. The “consumer welfare” standard let booze companies buy one another until just a handful remain — globe-straddling collosii with ample resources to influence policy-makers.

Nutt, an empiricist, reported just as rigorously on the harms of booze — one of the most dangerous drugs in the world — as he did on other drugs. He was fired for refusing to retract his true statement that tobacco and alcohol were more dangerous than many banned drugs.

Thanks to “consumer welfare” antitrust, the alcohol industry is able to choose who its regulators are, and use their political influence — purchased with the excessive profits of a monopolist — to rid themselves of pesky officials who actually pursue objective policy.

You can read the column here:

https://locusmag.com/2021/05/cory-doctorow-qualia/

And here’s the podcast episode:

https://craphound.com/news/2021/06/28/qualia/

As well a direct link to the MP3 (hosting courtesy of the @InternetArchive; they’ll host your stuff for free, forever):

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_395/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_395_-_Qualia.mp3

And here’s a link to my podcast feed:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

Image: OpenStax Chemistry: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Figure_24_01_03.jpg

CC BY: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

I m just having these random thoughts. Like tae has always been very clingy and affectionate with other members like jhope or rm or jin or even jk. Whereas wgen it comes to vmin its mostly jimin being clingy. Like u can see even when vmin sit together its mostly jimin touching him or clinging to him whereas when they sit with others while jimin is equally touchy tae becomes clingier. Its so wierd and i dont know what to think.

Looking at the history of vmin from beginning until now (here’s an amazing timeline post by romanticdrift you should check out), in the first couple of years both of them were clingy and affectionate with each other, but also rough and lacking the experience that came with age of how to properly communicate with each other about their feelings and thoughts and in general. So, while in the beginning they just had fun with it, some of it being for show to entertain ARMY, some not, it’s true that things have evolved over the years and nowadays they are very different from how they used to be in like 2013, for example. That isn’t a bad thing though. It’s a natural progressing even.

Besides, Jimin and Hoseok are the two most physically affectionate members, that’s true, but just because that’s their love language (at least in primary free content, yet in paid content like ITS or BV, have you noticed how suddenly even they are way less physically affectionate, how the members don’t feel the need to constantly cling to each other, hug and touch each other, and rather just spend time together doing something or being in the same room doing their own things while enjoying each other company), we can’t expect everyone to have the same one. For instance, Yoongi is more about showing acts of service toward his members as a way of showing them how much he cares about them and loves them, it’s his love language. Does that make his affection for them any less valuable than when Jimin is clingy with another member?

If you look at how Tae’s behavior has fluctuated across 2020 due to obvious reasons in the first half while settling down and turning happier in the second half, you’ll notice that he’s in general “calmed down” with how affectionate in a physical way he is with the other members. He’s still silly and making jokes with them when he’s in a good mood, he still touches and shows physical affection toward Jimin, like in the RUN episode with Chef Baek and the rice cooker moment, yet there are also times when he simply doesn’t want to do that. It’s not a bad thing, and it also doesn’t have to say anything at all about the state that vmin’s bond is at. It runs so much deeper than some physical touch caught on camera during a 35-minute RUN episode, or lack thereof in some other content.

Jimin and Taehyung worked so hard and over a long period of time for the bond they have now, especially since they did it not as BTS Jimin and BTS V, but as Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin, the real-life people. They put in a lot, and I mean a LOT, of emotional and physical labor into creating and strengthening this bond they’ve always had (in some form or another) because they saw something in each other, saw that they’d found their person in each other and wanted to make it work despite their differences, despite hard times making not only their lives hard but also putting their bond to a grueling test, and at the end here we are today where their bond is literally one of the closest and strongest bonds I’ve ever seen.

More below the cut:

Now, imagine you put that much into a relationship (and for this argument the only viable reason for why they behave this way and guard this so fiercely is because there’s something romantic here since why else would they be so protective about their bond and “hide” it so much?) would you really want to showcase it so obviously to people, strangers who only wait for reasons (even if there aren’t any actual ones) to be vicious and nasty toward you? Just to see people drag your bond through the mud, to insult it, belittle it, and write it off as “fanservice” (even more than they already do) even though it’s something so precious to you, even though this person is your person, your soulmate, your special someone you want to keep at your side until you’re grandpas?

I highly doubt it.

And that’s where the difference lies. Yes, all the bonds in BTS are strong and special in their own rights, but what Jimin and Taehyung have, that is something so rare, so precious, so once in a lifetime, yet also something they worked so hard and long for and on, who would want to “sell” it to the public? Wouldn’t you, too, want to keep it safe and close to your heart? Think of Taehyung’s lyrics from the song he posted and then deleted off of twitter, of him wanting to protect his love from those with evil tongues, to save his love and save himself with an umbrella, think of the drawing from the Snow Flower cover of the boy protecting the flower with an umbrella from the snow. Wouldn’t you, too, want to protect someone who is this special to you, with whom you share such a special bond, from the horrendous opinions and words of others?

It’s easy to be affectionate with people who are your best friends, your found family, your brothers, and showing that to people, but showing the same with someone so important to you, with whom you share a different level and kind of connection, it’s a completely different story.

Besides, we still get glimpses of it from time to time, we see their affection for each other, and yes, it’s different, it might come across as weird to some, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful and their bond any less real and deep than any other bond within BTS. Does the closeness of two members truly only depend on their on-camera affection, yet the moment it’s something we only hear about yet not see, therefore is something off camera and not for us to view, somehow not exist and not matter?

At the end of the day, we know so little about their private lives, and much of what you see and hear about from some is just speculations, some of which are f*cked up to say the least in regard to some other pairings within BTS, and yet the things we do hear about their private lives come from their own mouths, especially in connection to vmin, are immediately dismissed and ignored because…because some loud part of the fandom just decides that that’s how it is and everyone else is meant to just follow their opinion, I guess?

That’s not right, we know that and, in a way, I’m sure they do as well, but they follow their own agenda, one we don’t have to follow or agree with. What they do is their thing, but as vminnies, we know what we know, we see what we see, so instead of looking what everyone else is doing, why don’t we do as they do and stick to our opinions, our feelings, everything we know about Jimin and Taehyung, as individuals and as pair, and feel happy for them but also happy for ourselves because we got to witness them grow into the people they are today, in general but also with each other. Isn’t that much more valuable than some short touch of a thigh or a teasing joke?

I know it’s easy to fall into the pattern of comparing, especially when it comes to the amount of content you get etc, but just because others want to impose their bad shipper habits on us and take how supposedly real a pairing is solely based on “”moments”” and turn it into something akin to a di*k measuring contest, who’s to say we have to participate? Besides, regardless of which shipper camp wins, it has no effect on the actual idols, says nothing about their actual real-life bonds. They are the only ones who know the true nature of their bonds and their depths, so looking at everything we know about vmin, things they’ve shared with us through visuals and words, do we really have any reason to feel insecure about our opinions? What reason do we have to think of how much or how little affection and clinginess they show toward each other in on-camera moments as the be all, end all evidence and standard of their bond? When we know how much they’ve worked for this, how much they matter to each other, enough so to cry and laugh together, to sing a song about it co-written and co-produced by Jimin, for Tae to write 4 O’Clock and many more, and for them to decide to want to stay together forever? In the face of all that, is it really that imperative for us to see them share affection on camera, for them to be clingy?

Isn’t everything else we have, these more than eight years’ worth of friendship and more, isn’t that enough for us to see and know their worth to each other?

And sure, there are moments where they are clingy, where they are affectionate with each other, so isn’t that enough? Do we really need more, or some kind of elaborate explanation for why it is that way or not a different one? Besides, they aren’t eighteen-year-old boys and rookies anymore, they are grown men who want to be seen and treated as musicians, Grammy nominated ones at that, who have learned how to communicate their love for each other in a way they are most comfortable and happy with, so do they really need to cling to each other on camera? No. They don’t owe us visual proof of their bond, don’t owe us visual reminders of their bond either.

The fact that we still get glimpses of their bond is a wonderful thing and I’m grateful for it. Generally, the fact that we get to see and witness so much of the members lives is something we should treat as special and not as a requirement, like a quota they need to fulfill. They could only ever show up during comebacks and promotions, but instead we get so much, just yesterday we had Jimin spend time on weverse replying to so many posts and even coming back a second time a little while later into the night, also replying twice to posts about Tae.

From anon: I think that, especially Taehyung, has succumbed to restrictions and fan service and the falsification of everything. This is the problem with the entire Makne lineage. Maybe they are all very real with each other in their personal lives, but in front of the camera they all seem very scripted. Because of that, I think Vmin does not present himself in front of the camera and does not want any fan service. What do you two think about it? Thanks for great posts!

This is another ask we got a while ago that I think fits thematically. Even more so when you consider that many consider anything vmin do together just fanservice, thus belittling and cheapening their bond in such a blatant and awful way despite having no right to do so. I’m sure vmin know about all of this, have seen the comments since they are everywhere, so it can’t possibly be fun or pleasant at all. You could argue that they could just not care about what people say, could just not care about how their interactions are viewed as fanservice, but that is way easier said than done when there is practically no escaping those comments at this point.

There’s a shipping rule, so to speak, especially when it comes to real people ships, that you are to keep your shipping away from them and keep it somewhere where they don’t see it. That rule has long been broken, burned and turned into micro particles that can never be put together again. And we know that’s a fact because we literally had Tae tell a shipper off on Weverse, something that usually never happens. But it did. Not that it changed anything or had any kind of effect, but it’s more about the gesture itself.

As for the scripted part, of course much is scripted but not because they are fake, their personas are fake, and the whole BTS are family thing is fake, but because their words have weight. Their actions have weight. Everything they say and do is put on a scale, measured and accounted for, analyzed, theorized and twisted one way or another. While they could be wild during rookie years, now that they’ve reached this unprecedented level of fame for Korean artists, that’s not possible anymore. They have to be careful, have to be on guard during certain content, have to put their very best foot forward at all times. It’s hard. Incredibly hard. We’ve seen them struggle with it, but that’s how it is. And when you struggle, it’s easier to have a script, even just a loose one, you can follow to make it easier, to make you less unsure or keep yourself from overthinking everything you say or do.

One thing that is incredibly important to remember is that when they are on camera, they are at work, they are BTS Jimin and BTS V, BTS RM and BTS JIN, and while parts of their real personalities are also part of their BTS personas, it’s still work, not free time. Especially during interviews or performances, while backstage getting ready to go on stage, or while going from schedule to schedule. Think about it this way, vmin are affectionate and clingy and loud about their bond in places where we see them, so now think about how loud they must be in places where we don’t see them, in their private lives? 

Enough so for none of the members to laugh or react or comment on how casually Tae spoke about wanting Jimin to come sleep next to him. And enough so that Hoseok said that the person Jimin shows aegyo toward the most is Tae (though I’ve seen at least three different translations for this moment, the one I mentioned, another one that translates it as Jimin being spoiled the most by Tae, and yet another as Jimin treating Tae as big baby) in one of the Japanese interviews (NTV Buzz Rhythm) in July 2020, Yoongi nodding in agreement, the mention of that making Tae flustered (?) and want to downplay it a little by acting ‘surprised’ and asking “(To) me?”. This, too, is something we don’t see that often (anymore) yet it obviously must be there if Hoseok mentioned it and the others agreed with him. And at the end of the day, the members truly do know them, far better than any of us ever will. Or that time at the airport where Jimin waited for Tae and they only started to hold hands when they must’ve thought no one would be able to see it. Do things like this not sufficiently show that there are simply things they don’t want to show us? And thus, shouldn’t we simply respect their choices?

And even if they are calmer now, less clingy, less ‘showy’, we still got a bed selca they took while hidden behind their legs and blankets creating as though a wall so the ITS cameras didn’t see them, with a caption that…well, opens up some interesting implications (positive ones, of course).

Let me end this post on this: if vmin were just friends, or even if they weren’t friends anymore like some so vehemently insist is the case, surely there would be no issue for them to show their just friendship the way they show it with the other members, be clingy and affectionate in physical ways, possibly even just play a role of bestest buddies like some idols supposedly do, and yet they don’t do that. So, since they don’t do it, the only plausible reason I can see for it is that they simply have something between them that they want to hide and that it’s valuable enough to them that they want to guard and protect it, that makes their bond different from the bonds they have with the other members.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

AND THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE OUTSIDE

In particular, it will rot your brain. There will always be expensive, because the light is better there.1 What students lack in experience they more than make up in dedication. Companies of all sizes have a hard time getting software done. I remember from it, you probably never will. Whereas if you're determined to stick around, you'll probably grow, your price will go up, and the answer is yes, they say Great, we'll send you a hand-written note after you buy a custom-made car, something will always be to get a job.2 One reason, obviously, is to work for Google instead because he thought he'd learn more there. Mostly we create wealth for other people you have, the more it has to be given to them. This is easy advice to give. Most investors know this m.

For as long as you leave open the option of getting rich translates into buying Ferraris, or being admired. Instead of taking money from the rich. Or more precisely, preorders has helped a lot.3 If you build something popular is that you shouldn't relax just because you have no visible competitors yet. You could also rob banks, or solicit bribes, or establish a monopoly. Which is exactly how I'd describe the way lions seem in the wild must feel better to a wide-ranging predator like a lion. But after the habit of thinking of software as having users.4 But you only have a small number of expensive ones. It is.5 For example, Ben Silbermann noticed that a lot of things that go wrong when kids grow up sufficiently poor. Workers were for these companies what servers are for an Internet startup.

But the Collison brothers weren't going to wait. And they will. I realized I'd been holding two ideas in my head that would explode if combined. The owner wanted the student to pay for subscriptions. One of the advantages of having kids is that when you have to do at the start is to recruit users, and all users care about is whether your product does what they want by themselves. The thing I probably repeat most is this recipe for a startup: get a job doing B, and then either by taxation or by limiting what they can charge to confiscate whatever you deem to be surplus. The arrival of crowdfunding or more precisely, will either fit in one car—or more precisely, preorders has helped a lot. If they take you up, no competitor can keep you down. The acceleration of productivity we see in Silicon Valley has been happening for thousands of years, I'll bet on the curve. But though other fields may share it, I think we're better off attacking one step downstream, where wealth turns into power. But the evidence of the last 200 years shows that it doesn't even seem like the most important quality in a startup, there's always one right there.6

Such labels may help writers too. In fact, why go to college at all? I desperately needed on stuff that I didn't have to worry about money. I interviewed Mark Zuckerberg at Startup School, he said that while it was a college town out in the countryside.7 They could have chosen any machine to make into a star.8 But one thing that falls just short of the standard, I think, is worry about the increasing gap between rich and poor evaporate. The reason I say short-term greed, the labels and studios have put themselves in the position of the food shop. So investors who won't invest unilaterally will have lower returns. But one thing that might work is to ask whether the ideas represent some kind of external test you can use this information in a way that's incompatible with this curve. But liking the idea of inhabiting a world ruled by intelligence.9

Imagine how depressing the world would be if it were merely a fan we were studying, without all the extra baggage that comes from the controversial topic of wealth, no one can make you do it unconsciously. One of the mistakes novice pilots make is overcontrolling the aircraft: applying corrections too vigorously, so the line gets drawn at code.10 This seems an inevitable consequence of bigness. Basketball players make about 128 times as much land in a day as he could with a team of horses. And if you don't make much from it, you probably never will. The founders of Kiko, for example, will cheerfully work 20-hour days to produce the Apple computer for a society that confiscates private fortunes. Another thing you can say things you wouldn't say, you'll hear the clank as it hits the page. For example, thinking about getting involved with someone—as a cofounder, ask if they are.

Back when he was 19. So eliminating economic inequality means taking money from the rich turns out to be really tough than the quiet ones. Someone who's figured that out will automatically focus more on the user. Instead of starting from companies and working back to the root causes. Later when things blow up they say I knew there was something off about him, but I don't see how we could replace founders. He didn't stay long, but he wouldn't have returned at all if he'd realized Microsoft was going to be slightly influenced by prestige, so if the two seem equal to you, you may as well play it safe. This is an excellent strategy for making the poor richer. I learned to keep a company as small as it can be extended by users. I find myself saying a lot is don't worry.

Notes

He had equity. But should you do it is possible to make people use common sense when intepreting it. Startups Condense in America consider acting white.

I think investors currently err too far on the group's accumulated knowledge.

It's more in the old one. Turn on rice cooker and forget about it wrong in How to Make Wealth when I switch person.

The history of the iPhone too, of course, Feynman and Diogenes were from adjacent traditions, but the returns come from going to have this second self keep a journal. The French Laundry in Napa Valley. Which in turn means the slowdown that comes from ads on other sites.

Which implies a surprising but apparently unimportant, like movie stars' birthdays, or some vague thing like that, in virtue of Aristotle's immediate successors may have been lured into this sort of work is not really a lie because it's a significant startup hub. If a bunch of actual adults suddenly found themselves trapped in high school is rounding error compared to adults.

Fortuna! No one wants to the code you write for your pitch to evolve as e.

This is why, when I was writing this. If idea clashes became common enough, even thinking requires control of scarce resources, political deal-making power. If you actually started acting like adults, it could change what you're doing is almost pure discovery.

They'd be interchangeable if markets stood still. Html.

But that's not art because it reads as a monitor.

A knowledge of human nature is certainly more efficient.

[o2mastersielts]

What Are The Benefits And Scope Of The IELTS Exam?

Some students enjoy being at the top always. If you are one of them, then, you would have to study them all, if you would like to perform better while checking the IELTS in all four areas, that is to say, the capability of listening, reading, writing, or chatting. You would hear more of the English you use.

The IELTS is not only mandatory for admission to some of the universities and colleges, but also IELTS is designed as general education for the reasons of occupation and immigration. The IELTS Life Skills is a Secure English language test (SELT), which is approved by the United Kingdom government to support your application for a UK Visa and Immigration (UKVI).

IELTS is an internationally recognized English Test, which claims to stand for the International English Language Test System. For several different reasons, having a good IELTS score is critical.

The IELTS test is not intended for people under 16 years old and can be done by everyone regardless of age, class, gender, ethnicity, nationality, or religion. The leading bodies of IELTS do not set a limit to take the IELTS examination. You can take the IELTS test while you get your target score the same number of times as you need. Yet you will compensate for any try the IELTS exam tax.

Future Scope of IELTS

IELTS is a global testing method for English. The standards test measures the English skills of non-native speakers who would like to study, work, and migrate in the language of communication. English is a standardized test. Countries like the UK, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and the United States require IELTS. An “International English” test is concentrated on IELTS and includes English, American English, Australian, or South African. All four language skills, such as listening, reading, writing, and speaking, are covered.

You are inspired to work further since you have a specific goal. When you do not have simple expectations and priorities, it is possible to delay learning again. The IELTS exam offers you the opportunity to learn and to develop your vocabulary. Due to the high scope of IELTS, there is a craze among the people to pursue it. Due to this reason, it is very demanding.

More than 135 nations and more than 9,000 organizations worldwide recognize IELTS as evidence that they can interact in the English language efficiently. Therefore, his popularity as a successful measure of English ability stretches to English only.

Jobs with their IELTS scores will quickly find a position appropriate for their abilities. In foreign multinationals, good English speakers are needed who are efficient and an asset to their companies.

Your English skills will be improved. Several students are more likely than others to promote specific skills. If you take the IELTS exam, your four skills, which are “to understand, to learn, to compose and voice, are evaluated, meaning that if you are to perform better, you have to master all four of them.

Countries like Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom, have made IELTS mandatory for permanent residency. When IELTS is used for jobs or research outside Germany without intent, the credential may be useful. Any business is fascinated with the applicants who have strong contact abilities.

Based on the particular goals and the type of institution to which one you want to show results, you can choose between IELTS Academic and IELTS General Training. The IELTS Academic is valid for university applicants, irrespective of whether they are for a bachelor’s or postgraduate degree or whether they are employed for a business in a French-speaking region. Here, you need to concentrate without advanced education or follow an instructional class, the IELTS is fundamental and substantial for working, voyaging, and emigrating to English talking nations.

That being said, if the IELTS Academic has not been decided how you would use the score yet, it will be of help in a broader variety of circumstances, and it is the edition frequently demanded.

Benefits of IELTS

In the foreign countries of your choice, where even the native language is English, IELTS will ensure improved survival and sustainability. It is necessary to match your capacities if you move to a location where the language of communication or the mother tongue is English. You will also be happy with the different employment opportunities following IELTS. Let us start talking about the benefits of the IELTS test for research, labor, immigration, and other requirements not to make you wait longer.

The most important benefit of IELTS is that you will find your path transparent to several students who aim to obtain obviously from leading colleges in countries like the USA, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, etc. You will get the highest IELTS band results, plus there is the chance to affiliate with top schools and universities.

The test can also help you register your profession.

IELTS’ job prospects are lucrative and impressive. Most of you have to be prepared to work outside Germany and to get good wages. To provide you with the best job prospects in foreign countries, IELTS may be an essential element.

An elevated IELTS band score can also transform your life in your country, and not only in foreign countries. You will operate with the MNC and other leading organizations with outstanding contact skills. We will see the advantages for companies with IELTS.

By testing the IELTS, you will have a test report that a great many colleges around the globe, including organizations, colleges, proficient bodies, and government offices, have perceived and acknowledged.

You will hear more of the English you use. You get to know the kind of language needed for undergrad or postgraduate study English if you take the IELTS Academic Test.

Upon completing the IELTS Exam, the applicant will register for this English Language Assessment at several foreign colleges, universities, jobs, immigration agencies, as well as professional organizations.

Conclusion

When it comes to modules, the advantages of IELTS exams are amazing. If you are searching for an abroad degree or technical certification, you may visit IELTS academics. And the general thing is for those who are searching for a job, school, or immigration tour in other countries. Also, you can reap specific minor benefits too.

[arcticdementor]

I’ll be transcribing select podcasts from now on. The one I recently did with Misha Saul had a lot of great insights, so I thought it was a good place to start.

It’s been lightly edited to make it more clear and legible, and sometimes for grammar, while maintaining the general ideas.

…

Richard has hit the spotlight in a big way over the last year – he’s been on Tucker Carlson and is increasingly known for his iconoclastic style. His podcast is excellent, and his essay drawing out the mechanism for how Wokeism grew out of the Civil Rights Act in the US has made waves.

This conversation picks up on a strand that I’ve been thinking a lot about. Diana Fleischman in my conversation with her said: Institutions are increasingly reflecting the values of middle-aged women. Tyler Cowen often writes about the feminization of society at Marginal Revolution. No one, as far as I’m aware, has really buttoned down what that means and what it looks like.

I don’t think that’s quite what we do here.

It’s a pretty free-flowing exploratory conversation about what we might call the feminization of society. What do we mean when we talk about it? Where can we see it? What are its benefits and derangements? We have a crack at the subject, anyway. Think of this as an experiment in chatting through some observations, live.

…

Richard: Sure. This is going to be a very American-centric analysis because it goes back to American history and American law but a lot of Americans don’t actually know this story. A lot of liberals have this idea of the Civil Rights Act… there used to be racism, they still think there is racism, but there used to be official state-sanctioned racism, Jim Crow, private businesses would discriminate against blacks and women to a lesser extent, or the same extent in some people’s minds. Then you pass the law of the Civil Rights Act and things got better. And a lot of Republican politicians, those doing the most superficial kind of analysis, don’t have much of a different story than that. They just think that “whatever, now the wokeness has come and now maybe it’s something a different and that’s a problem.” And they’ll throw in “oh and by the way, those who opposed the civil rights were Democrats." They try and claim the mantle for the civil rights movement for the Republicans, which is nonsense because a lot of those people left and became Republicans specifically over that issue, and a lot of their voters left the party. So it’s really a nonsense narrative they try and throw back at them.

It says you can’t discriminate in government and you can’t discriminate in private business. And most people at the time thought that basically meant you couldn’t put up a sign that says no black people. Even the gender thing they say was added as a joke actually. Somebody was trying to kill the bill, they didn’t want the racial equality parts. They said, “it would be so absurd to have a society where you didn’t discriminate based on sex” so they put sex in there hoping to kill the bill. And it ended up passing. I’m not 100% sure, I was told this by a law professor at the University of Chicago, so it’s not like I read it on Twitter somewhere. It’s credible though I haven’t looked into it.

Misha: American politics is basically a rerun of the producers, like hilarious accidents that keep escalating forever.

Richard: Right. So what does not discriminating mean? It wasn’t long after that that the phrase affirmative action comes along. It comes along in a series of executive orders. Government contractors first under Kennedy and then LBJ in the 1960s. Under Nixon for the entire federal government. Basically it said that the government would have to keep racial and gender statistics and make sure there weren’t any disparities between groups. You also had development of these other legal doctrines developed from the Civil Rights Act which includes a hostile work environment, sexual harassment law, stuff like that.

And lots of people have raised questions about free speech: If I think men and women are different and I’m in a private business and I want to say that, that’s of questionable legality… mainstream conservative views on things. They went after a lot of companies for this. There were some major corporations, I think Mitsubishi was one, they ended up paying a lot of money to the government, that made examples out of certain places.

Another doctrine, which was invented by a combination of the courts and executive agencies, is disparate impact. So if you give standardized tests, Grigg vs. Duke Power Company, this was a case early after the Civil Rights Act. It said if you give an IQ test and it has a disparate impact between groups… you can still use it but it’s a little complicated, it has to be related to the work, but it becomes harder. Everything you do that has a racial disparate impact, and by the way everything in the world has a racial disparate impact, if you find something that doesn’t I’ll be surprised, they can come after you for it either through the government directly coming after you or through people suing you.

So what happened? What happened starting in the 1960s is you see the growth of this human resources industry. You can just look at the chart of the number of human resource workers in the US going through the roof. Now if you had just said quotas, hire this many blacks, this many women, that would have been simple. You wouldn’t need a full-time bureaucracy to do that. The fact that it was vague and there were potentially substantial penalties sort of put business on edge. You needed a full-time bureaucratic class to interpret the laws and what was going on.

So the DEI industry is derived off of the rise of human resources. So you know, the way people see woke institutions today, “well they’re just deciding to be woke, there’s just a class of people deciding to take the leftwing issue on anything related to race and gender,” and some of that is obviously right. But you’re ignoring that basically legally you’re only allowed to be on one side of the culture wars. You’re not really allowed to say… if you’re a government contractor you can’t say “I don’t want to count my employees by race or gender. I don’t want to collect that data. I don’t want to take affirmative action to help black people or women out, I believe in a colorblind policy.” Mainstream conservative views, conservatives believe this stuff, it’s not legal. Conservatism is illegal for a lot of institutions. Not everything is covered but huge portions: the federal government, government contractors, subcontractors, it covers a huge portion of the private and public sectors.

And then it filters down, you have these big corporations and other people sort of follow them. And then you have these norms that apply to everyone. Courts will look at best practices, saying “Oh, discrimination is wrong, what are the best practices in the industry? What are people doing to fight discrimination?” And if that’s Robin DiAngelo at one point in time, you start to worry if you don’t have Robin DiAngelo coming to give speeches you might get in trouble. Not specifically Robin DiAngelo, but you get the idea. You have these intellectual fads that come and go and everyone’s jumping on the same train because it’s necessary.

…

But anyway, let’s get back to the feminization issue. I think this is a discussion that can easily devolve into two cranks kind of sounding conspiratorial and bitter. The one place outside this conversation that’s been steadily beating the drum of this thing has been Tyler Cowen on his blog Marginal Revolution. I think we can generally be quite normatively neutral around this trend, it’s not necessarily a good or bad thing, but if you go to Marginal Revolution and search “feminization,” you notice that it does pop up quite periodically.

For example, one thing that Tyler Cowen recently said, and I’ll quote: “one thing the contemporary world definitely has not come to terms with is how much a highly feminized culture will be rather strongly enforcing new forms of discrimination, albeit cloaked under different and rhetorically emancipatory principles.” I think last year or the year before Tyler Cowen said “the feminization of our culture is for me, trend #1,” noting that basically all the top ten selling books had female protagonists and seven were authored by women. And I think you can go through different professions, education and other institutions, over the past 50 years, and I guess it’s not surprising since the kind of increased participation of women in the workforce and democratic process, you’d kind of expect our cultural and institutions to change. But I guess this is what I wanted to spend today talking about, when you kind of took the piss out of DiAngelo and just said “this is just estrogen and mental illness.” Let’s talk about what has happened in our culture, what does feminization mean?

Richard: Well, I think it means a lot. It’s a broad topic. I think what Cowen is referring to is, you have men and women, and men and women deal with conflict and challenges in different ways. We as a society are leaning more towards doing things in the feminized way rather than a more masculine way. Robin DiAngelo is just a great example of this. I mentioned the human resources industry. I also have a chart in my Substack that shows the changing demographics over time, shows something like 60-70% female. So this idea that you have problems with people and then you talk to them about it and you talk to them not for say, an instrumental purpose, “we’re going to work something out,” but talking is a reward in and of itself. You need something, you need to re-establish the relationship, you need to feel heard, feel validated. This is a very feminine thing.

So you have these protestors at universities, and it’s funny because you look at identity politics in the past, anti-colonization or something. It’s just “we want to get the occupiers out of our country, we want to fight them, we want to have our own society” it’s a kind of masculine idea. And you now have these sort of identity politics where it’s like “hire more diversity counselors and have them talk to the people who are mean to us forever.” It’s a very strange thing compared to what identity politics was 30, 40, 50 years ago. It’s a sort of nationalism, a tribalism, an us vs. them that’s there in every society. But it’s morphed into something different.

So DiAngelo, the rise of human resources, even things like how we understand cost-benefit analysis. I think Safetysim is a more female way of looking at things. Bryan Caplan in his book The Myth of the Rational Voters has a few predictors of thinking more like an economist, and one of them is being male rather than female.

…

Richard: Well, if you go to the places where it’s most purely about consumer preferences, just walk though the girls section in the toy store… now they announce there’s no girls section or boys section, but they’ll have one isle that’s all cars and one isle that's all dolls. I was at Target not long ago just looking at the dolls and the Barbies, now they’re in different colors, black, brown, and they have careers, doctor Barbie, astronaut Barbie. I didn’t see a fat Barbie, I didn’t see a trans Barbie, I didn’t see a bald-headed Barbie, I didn’t see a tattooed Barbie…

Misha: Not now, but every joke becomes a reality.

…

Richard: I think things like anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, these things are higher in women. Neuroticism, I think these things are clearly… everyone sort of understands that. Especially the way we talk about things like mental health. Simone Biles… the idea that she quit right before a match, a meeting? A game? Whatever they call it?

Misha: An Olympics thing? A sports thing? We’re the wrong guys here. And she says she doesn’t want to do it anymore?

Richard: Anyway, there’s some kind of competition which she quit. And it’s not about her specifically, it’s about the media reaction which is that this is more heroic than if she would have won.

Misha: The quote in The New Yorker, I think it is, “her radical courage.” It’s deranged! To your point, even the best have blowups and absolutely no judgment, whatever. It’s the cultural reaction to it that is totally hilarious and idiotic.

Richard: Even stuff like therapy, the rise of mental health discourse. If you watch some normal TV shows, it’s amazing how everyone has a therapist. It’s seen as everyone has these problems they gotta work through, and the idea of it is that everyone is walking around damaged. I’m not going to say that’s normal for males or females. But we are tilting towards… it’s closer to the female norm than the male norm. There’s a minority of women who are very anxious and go through life feeling a lot of pain, and even for all our so-called gender equality, there’s still an idea that it’s much more socially acceptable for women to complain about things; for women to cry about things is much more socially acceptable than men.

So women tend to have these negative emotions at higher rates and it’s more acceptable for them to express negative emotions, so what happens is female concerns are overrepresented in the things we talk about. Not even all female concerns, I mean it’s very specific. Elizabeth Bruenig, this is a Washington Post writer for those who don’t pay attention, I think she just wrote some article that said “I became a mom at a young age and this made me happy,” that was the whole article. And every person on Twitter lost their mind and said it’s white supremacy or something. So it’s not the women like Elizabeth Bruenig, though she is a columnist and has a voice, she’s not representative of her class. It tends to be single, urbanized, less connected to family or marriage or a committed relationship. Those people talk the most and they tend to go into journalism and academia. They tend to have a disproportionate influence. This isn’t just women who have influence, but is true of human beings in general and who ends up mattering and having influence. The prominence we give to mental health and the way we talk about it are both signs of feminization.

…

Richard: To go back to what you said about whether it’s an American thing, I don't have much experience traveling overseas. I did a semester abroad in Russia when I was an undergrad, that was about 10 years ago, around 2008-2009.

Misha: That’s awesome, where did you go in Russia?

Richard: St. Petersburg.

Misha: Cool! How’s your Russian?

Richard: Not very good. I have a minor in it but it’s been 12 years so I barely know anything.

So I was there, and I saw Tyler Cowen say this: the gender dimorphism is very high there. I didn’t see any women with short hair. I didn't see any women with sweatpants or anything like that. I traveled a bit in Europe and I think it’s the same way. ‘Letting yourself go’ as a woman is more of an American thing. I don’t know if it’s an Anglo thing, you can tell me about Australia, but it’s sort of like… some women have gotten in their heads the idea that to appeal to a man is somehow sexist or wrong. But it’s human nature, men want to appeal to women and women want to appeal to men.

Misha: Yeah, but you can have an argument that’s regressive and that’s reflective of traditionalist values, that’s basically behind rather than an alternative. I know they look at the anglosphere and see everyone as totally deranged. I can’t even say it on here but the things they say about this whole dynamic is pretty funny. How do you think about that? Maybe it’s just a function of liberation, that you don’t need to be on parade all the time.

Richard: Why is that liberation? You could say someone being obese is liberation, why do they feel like they have to watch their weight? Not caring about how you look, this is a form of liberation.

Misha: You joke, but the US is way heavier than it was 50 years ago. You are seeing all these big is beautiful schtick kind of everywhere, you know what I mean? I kind of get the everyday person rolls their eye at this, but it seems to be a meaningful…

Richard: Do an experiment. Find a woke woman, tell her “you’ve put on a few pounds recently.” Say it in the nicest way possible, and see if she takes it as an insult. The things we say, “big is beautiful,” but try it sometime. Tell someone “I’m a liberal, I don’t have any judgement on these things.” It doesn’t work. There’s what we’re supposed to say and the reality.

…

Richard: Yeah, that’s some of it, and to go back to civil rights law, some of these things have been forcibly integrated. Some big golf course, something related to the PGA… they had men’s only golf and some big lawsuit. I think that’s right… Harvard within the last few years got rid of single gender fraternities and sororities, I don’t know if they went after the sororities too but they at least went after the fraternities. You think about why you’d need a male only space, or an all female space, and the justification would be “men and women are different, I can speak and talk in a way with other men that I can’t in a room with all women,” and that idea of fundamental differences is verboten, it’s something you’re not allowed to say or think.

You do get some all female spaces. It’s sort of like you could have an all black club but not all white club; because that’s the preference of the protected group, people will justify it somehow. They’ll say “blacks or women face unique challenges” not because they’re biologically different but because they’re facing unique challenges due to sexism or whatever. Sometimes they won’t deny the biological, but basically you don’t have to think too much about it, because they’re the “good people,” women and minorities.

And if you’re a man, now you’re talking about differences. And you’re implying those differences in some way favor the men. It’s funny, Daily Caller is a conservative website and they went to some member of the Congressional Black Caucus, a Democrat, and asked him “why do you think that men are arrested for crimes more than women?” Now the joke is that the Congressional Black Caucus says that it’s racism if blacks are arrested more for crimes than white people. And the Congressional Black Caucus, one of the guys was like “oh of course, because men are more violent.” It was nothing. So they sort of got him. There’s not a consistency. Sometimes you can believe in differences, sometimes you can’t. It’s not about if you believe in differences or not, it’s about if you’re flattering the group that needs to be flattered or insulting the group that needs to be insulted.

…

Misha: Just leave the crusty old dudes alone! There’s like 50 female gyms down the road from that same club and no one cares. But this is literally front-page news. No one can get enough of these crusty old dudes getting together for lunch.

Richard: The thing is men don’t want to do identity politics against women. You do have these guys online, men’s rights activists…

Misha: They’re losers! Who wants to be those guys?

Richard: Right. So there’s got to be a way to pushback, while not falling into the “we’re just like women, we’re going to have a fight on equal terms.” I mean if you do do that, you end up with the Taliban. Men will win, if you fight on equal terms with women… Trust me, it’s not going to be much of a fight. You don’t want to go in that direction.

…

Misha: I meant more, does being an immigrant allow you to speak truth to power? People can’t accuse you of being some rich, boat-shoe wearing fancy-boy who is speaking from a place of power in the US. Do you know what I mean?

Richard: Maybe. Let’s say there was a blond-haired blue eye guy who was just like me.

Misha: And you’re light haired and light eyed by the way!

Richard: I’m light eyed and dark haired. But yeah, I think it would be more difficult. I do think that’s certainly the case. There’s a guy named Madison Cawthorn, a young Republican, he looks like an SS officer. But he’s in a wheelchair, he had an accident, so it’s sort of strange that way. But he’s a typical dumb Republican who says dumb things. The media freaks out at him, it’s the way he looks. The wheelchair thing makes it a little strange. From what I can tell he’s not different from any Republican in Congress, just different in the way he looks.

Misha: So this is one of my favorite things about you. And whoever’s outraged at this point would have switched off or stopped listening already, but you’ll kind of point to the demographics or insane institutions in the US and you have this whole wokeness piece, you’re a pretty loud critic of that. But then you look at the Republicans and go “these idiots are totally worse. These idiots couldn’t organize a root in a brothel.” What’s going on there? To go in a different direction, what is with the state of conservatism in the US?

Richard: This is something I actually want to write about. There’s a narrow problem which is that they have never done the things I recommend they do, which is look at civil rights law and honestly face what’s happening. But then there’s a broader question as to why they think about this stuff and why they never intend to do anything about it. So that’s sort of a broader question.

The liberals are ideologically motivated. You look at which sources of news and information liberals trust more, and it’s usually the written word. The New York Times, Washington Post, it’s these other publications. The base driving the Democratic party and the left in the US is journalism and academia. For the right it’s talk radio and TV. Talk radio and TV is not ideological, it has a short attention span. It likes to fight, it likes the reality TV side of things. Sometimes it can win, it can win over the majority of the public because it’s good at showmanship and fighting.

And you have these groups that are issue focused, the gun people and anti-abortion people. These people do well, they’re organized and get the bills passed that they want. But in general, I think conservatism is more of a reaction to an ideological movement and liberalism is the ideological movement.

[chameleonsallinvermillion]

153 Questions for Americans

Listen, as far as I am concerned, America is a place where movies are set. I know you’re all real but you don’t feel quite real, you know. Somebody actually grew up in New York? Impossible - that only exists on TV. I have questions. And somewhere out there, there is an American bored enough to answer them. Or at least some of them. 

I feel I should clarify that none of these are loaded questions. I’m asking these with no agenda other than burning curiosity. There’s no judgement or meanness behind them. I’m sorry that I sound incredibly stupid. 

1) Do you think of yourselves as American, or does your state come first? 

2) Where does the generic American accent come from? The one most people in movies have? Is it Californian, cos that’s where movies tend to be made? That’s my current working theory. 

3) Is it true that you don’t have egg cups? 

4) Is it normal to live in one state all your life and never go to another, even for a visit, or would that be weird? 

5) Are all school buses really yellow, like in movies? 5b) Why? Are they all owned by the same company or do different groups keep identical yellow buses for this one purpose? 

6) Do you have semi-detached houses in America? They’re never in movies. 

^^ These houses! Where two houses are mirror images of each other and share a joining wall. Do you have those? 

7) Turkey is your classic Thanksgiving meat, I think? So what’s your classic Christmas meat? 

8) There must be an insane number of colleges/universities in a country that size. How do you narrow down your choices? Do most people stay in their home state? 

9) Are school sports really as big of a deal as movies make them out to be?

10) How do you decide if your school is an obsessed-with-basketball school or an obsessed-with-football school? Is it regional? Have movies exaggerated this binary too much and I’ve got the wrong idea? 

11) Are there any girls’ sports teams at schools or is it basically just cheerleading? 

12) What is a pep rally and also why is a pep rally? Who goes to them? 

13) Do cheerleaders wear their uniforms around school casually like they do on TV? Wouldn’t a sports uniform need to be taken off post-training for cleanliness reasons? Do they only wear it before training to save the trouble of getting changed? 

14) Does the average American family own a gun or are they not as widespread as it is made to seem? Is that regional too? 

15) How similar is the culture between, say, Montana and New Mexico? Do they feel like the same country? 

16) Do you get sheriffs in cities or is it only out in the middle of nowhere? What’s the difference between a sheriff and a police captain? 

17) Is prom as big of a deal in real life as it is in movies? 

18) Are prom queens a real thing and, if so, how do they work? Are there duties involved or is it just wearing a tiara for a night? Can anyone be voted in or is there a pre-prom shortlist? Do you have to apply? 

19) What is stereotypically American, from the perspective of an American? I know what the stereotypes are over here, but how do you stereotype yourselves? 

20) Why does Alabama have a reputation for incest? Is there a historical basis or do people just not like Alabama very much? 

21) Is it true that you don’t have roundabouts, or do you just not have as many / don’t have them everywhere? (You might call them something else - the little islands in a crossroads that you have to circle round) 

22) If you were asked to name European cities, what would be the first ones you would name? 

Clarification: If somebody asked me to name American cities, my brain would immediately go: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago. By the time it had thought of those, it would already be saying: Las Vegas, Washington DC, New Orleans, San Francisco. Then, Detroit, Miami, Seattle, Boston, Baltimore. After that, I would have to actively stop and think of another one. So, if somebody just says ‘European cities - go!’ what does your brain immediately leap to? 

23) Are those gigantic supermarkets (superstores???) standard across the country? What do the big brands (Walmart?? Target?????) look like in cities? Are they still that huge? 

24) Do the big grocery brands have specific personalities/reputations? What are they? Which one do middle class people look down on, for example? 

25) Is deep-frying everything something you really do or is it more of a regional delicacy / special occasion type deal? 

26) Do the states that are more “famous” (California, and the like) feel more or less American because of it? Are you a cultural beacon, or are you an independent entity shackled down to the rest of them? 

27) Do the states that often get ignored (Montana?? Iowa?????) feel more or less American because of it? Does your isolation make you separate, or are you bound together into a greater whole? 

28) I get that different states have different laws. So say one state said you could get a driving license without having to take a test, but the next state insisted on standardised testing. Would a license issued by the first state still be valid in the second state? Could you cross the border to the state with easier specifications just to get a license?

29) Which universities / colleges are really the ones with good reputations? Obviously, places like Harvard and Yale are world-famous but I don’t really know any others unless a character in a movie is aspiring to one. Which are the names that command respect amongst real people?  

30) Is the average American’s knowledge of geography or history beyond the US as poor as it is commonly described? Or is that more of a joke and the average person is perfectly well-informed, with a few outliers?

31)  Are those red cups in party scenes a convenient movie prop, because they’ve become the stereotype of “oh, that cup has alcohol in it” or something, or are they actually used that universally? 31b) If they are that ubiquitous, what happens when red is the colour of the enemy sports team? That seems like something people would care about.

32) Do you really recite the pledge of allegiance at school every day? If yes, is it done sincerely or just because it’s tradition? 

33) Are flags as popular a décor choice as popular media seems to suggest?

34)  Which state has the reputation for having the most attractive / sexiest people from it, or the people you would most want to date? Why? (I’m assuming this won’t be fully universal, but there are definite stereotypes of ‘guys from this region aren’t the romantic sort’ and ‘girls from this region are easy’ in other countries so you must have something) 

35)  What kind of cheeses do you have? This probably sounds insane, or possibly a little patronising, but whenever you see cheese in an American context, it tends to be those little plastic squares that look like linoleum flooring. Yet Americans are really into putting cheese in everything, so there must be other types. But I couldn’t name a single type of cheese off the top of my head as being a known American cheese. So what are the standard cheeses of an American household? 

36) Is that “biscuits and gravy” thing that people sometimes post pictures of when talking about the difference in biscuits across the Atlantic actually a thing people eat? On what occasion? And if that’s gravy, what do you call the stuff you pour on meat and potatoes? Are they both gravy? 

37) Do young people really hang around at shopping malls all weekend, or is that a movie thing? 

38) Do Americans eat custard? I’ve never heard an American mention custard.

39) If you had to pick an area of the country that is “where rich city folk go to pretend to get back to nature despite being afraid of dirt” where would it be? Or does every state have their own bit where people from their own cities go to buy big old houses and complain about phone reception? 

40) Why do Americans still talk about themselves as being, for example, “a quarter Welsh, a sixth Irish, a bit Swedish, but mostly German”? I don’t mean the people whose parents moved there, but the people who have been there for generations. Do you really feel connected to the cultures/countries your ancestors were from? Is “American” more of a circumstance than an identity?

41) Is Easter a widespread secular event in America or purely religious-based? What would a typical Easter celebration involve? Do you have the fruit cake and funny hats, like we do? 

42) If you had to pick one song already in existence to be your new national anthem, what would it be and why?

43) I know that it is possible to be made to repeat a grade, possibly several times, if you don’t get the required exam results. How common is that? Does it happen a lot, or is it more of a threat to hold over kids? 

44) Are there limits on how early you can legally drop out of school, or could a child stop attending at any age? For example, where I grew up it would be illegal to leave school before the age of sixteen but movies seem to imply you can drop-out earlier in the US.

45) What is homecoming? Who is coming home, and where from? 

46) What is a more important social event: prom, or homecoming? 

47) Can anybody attend homecoming, even the freshmen? I have this vague idea sports has something to do with it and it would seem logical that some freshmen play sports but how does that work logistically? 

48) Does homecoming also have a queen? Do she and the prom queen compete in some way? Which one outranks the other? 

49) Are there buses in America? Other than the school bus or the occasional long-distance coach, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bus in American media. Does a standard public-transport bus system exist? Is it only in some places? 

50) Why are trains not a more popular mode of long-distance travel in America? Or are they but it doesn’t make for as dramatic a movie scene as a desperate non-stop road trip? 

51) Are freshmen and sophomores really called that? Is it colloquial, or would you see it on official paperwork? 

52) Do teenagers get to choose which subjects they study to exam level at high school, or does everybody have to take a final exam in everything?

 53) Are places like Puerto Rico, or American Samoa, thought of as extensions of the country? Do they seem American to mainland Americans? 

54) Does Alaska ever feel left out, being up there on its own? 

56) Teen novels seem to suggest there’s an endless succession of school dances in high schools. Spring dances, winter balls, proms, homecoming, ladies’ choice dances… Is that true? If so, do people really care about them or is non-attendance no big deal? 

57) Is Halloween as big an event as movies suggest, or was Hocus Pocus not representative? 

58) Sometimes from the outside, it seems that we know more about what’s going on with American foreign policy than Americans do. Does it seem that way, as Americans, about other countries? That you’re getting information that is not being shared with their citizens? 

59) Do Americans really like British accents that much, or is that just a small but vocal handful on the internet? Do different foreign accents go in and out of fashion? 

60) What is the whole deal with white shoes and Labour Day? Or was that just a line in Legally Blonde? 

61) Do American teenagers really have sex in cars a lot or is that a movie thing?

62) Do American teenagers really sneak out of the house at night a lot, especially via the window, or is that also a movie thing? 

63) Are people as blasé about tornados as they seem or is that bravado? Are tornados really that common that people can just shrug about them and carry on with their day?

64) What age are the majority of people when they are learning to drive? Not what age can they legally learn; what age do most people actually learn. 

65) How many of the things you might call an American stereotype really only apply to one specific region? 

66) Are taxicabs yellow everywhere or is that just a New York thing? 

67) Are Sweet Sixteen celebrations a real thing? What happens at one? Is it just a particularly impressive birthday party or are there specific traditions? 

68)  Are sororities and fraternities as common or as important to college life as movies make them out to be? 

69)  Why would somebody join a sorority or a fraternity? What’s the point? (I know the phrasing of that sounds critical but I really don’t mean it like that. I just do not have the cultural context to understand what they’re actually for.) 

70) So, I know that the price you have on price labels isn’t the price you pay because of tax being a secret. I see you talk about this a lot. Does this mean the amount you’re asked for at the end is always a surprise, or are you all really good at mental arithmetic? Is calculating tax something you learn at school?

71) Do Americans generally have a good opinion of their fellow Americans?

72) Is New York the only place theatre really gets a chance to go big? That can’t possibly be true, it’s a massive continent, there must be incredible actors and writers and stuff hanging out somewhere in South Dakota or something. Is this why the people in Glee were so fixated on living in New York? 

73) The garbage-eating drains you have in kitchen sinks…where do they lead to? Can you put anything down them? 

74)  Which parts of America are the parts other Americans go on vacation? Is it different to where foreigners want to visit?

75) Do any American schools have school houses or is that absolutely not a thing at all? 

76) Do American schools have a system of merits or house points or some other way of giving a positive score for good behaviour that adds up to something eventually? Or is good behaviour expected and therefore not given special recognition? 

77) What actually is a hall monitor, and is it a position people respect or aspire to? 

78)  Is it as common for people to drive themselves and their friends to school as movies make out? How is there parking space for that many students with their own cars? 

79)  How did the town in Footloose have the power to ban dancing? Do individual towns have that much control over their laws and citizens? Does every town council get to make decisions that huge? 

80) Are big house parties the most common place for teenagers to get drunk and hook up? It seems like that in movies but surely that would be inefficient? You’d have to keep waiting for somebody’s parents to leave town. 

81)  What is the deal with Americans hating France? Is that a real thing or was it just a throwaway joke in enough media for me to think it’s a real thing?

82) Why do people not live in national parks?

83)  Which states actually count as “The South” and which ones are officially “The North”? Because it doesn’t seem like the line is just drawn across the middle. 

84) Whenever you see Americans talking about candy on the internet, it’s always the same six or seven items. Are those just the big favourites and there are lots of other candy types around the place that don’t get a place on personality quizzes, or are there really only a handful of familiar items that are widespread? Do different states have different candy?

85) Which sport is most central to American identity? I’d assume it was one of the three (baseball, basketball, American football) but is one of them more important than the others?

86)  Are all your prisons out in the middle of the desert or something? 

87) There’s this sort of mythology around an American idea of just getting a plot of land and building your home on it and making it your own, with an implication that you can grab anywhere and do whatever you like with it. Are planning laws that relaxed, or is that more something you could do in the 1800s that has taken up a place in cultural mythology? 

88) When kids are hanging out in someone’s yard or an empty lot on a summer day, what game or sport would they be most likely to be playing? It feels like American football, for example, wouldn’t be very good for that, and it’s hard to improvise a net for basketball. 

89) Is it strange to live in a large city that nevertheless is virtually unknown nationwide because all the attention goes to the enormous cities? Or are these places known nationwide and it’s just internationally that they get forgotten?

90) How far from somewhere would you have to be to consider yourself in the middle of nowhere? 

91) How localised are things like local news or local tv? Is it every state? Every county? Every major town and its surroundings? 

92) Does national television have to take place at different times regionally because of time zones? 

93)  Is there a reason why American recipes measure everything in cups, even the things that it doesn’t make sense to put in a cup e.g. solid items that don’t fill the space so could vary in cup-filling volume? A cup full of butter is a different thing if the butter is in blocks to if it is poured in, as it were, to fill to the edges completely. Is there a trick to it?

94) Is marching band the only kind of band you have at schools? Is there no orchestra? Swing band? Concert ensemble? 

95) Why do you have marching bands at schools? Where are they marching to? Do you have a lot of parades? 

96) If you had to choose one (non-reality) TV show that best represents what life is actually like in America, what would you pick? 

97) What is spirit week? Is it important? Do people take it seriously? I think it might be something that happens at schools but beyond that, I have no idea.

98) How big is a school locker? Apparently big enough to fit a person in but are they standing comfortably or curled into a tiny ball? If it were person-height, wouldn’t it have shelves in it? Does the victim go on a shelf? 

99) When you dress up for Halloween, can you be anything? I mean, could a kid going trick or treating conceivably wear any costume at all? It doesn’t have to be spooky? 

100) On a similar note, in movies there are always wild packs of children roving around on Halloween, filling the streets with their trick-or-treating. It’s crowded. Kids are running everywhere. There’s a gang knocking on every door. Is that movie magic or is Halloween really like an unofficial street party? 

101) Do you have half-term holidays? I assume you wouldn’t call them that. Mid-semester break, maybe? You know. The week off in the middle. 

102) Do you have days when you don’t have to go to work or school that aren’t for a special celebration? Just…days when the country stops working? Or, at least, most of it because cafés would always be open on that sort of day. 

103) Which is the bigger deal: Thanksgiving, or the Fourth of July? 

104) How diverse is the landscape in any given state? If you take, say, Ohio, does it all look like roughly the same place all the way through or are there lots of different landscapes going on? I feel like there should be, but there’s still this very typical image of what Ohio is.

105) Do people care about what clothes they wear to school or does the fact that everybody sees everybody every day mean that it all stops mattering? 

106) What makes something a diner rather than a café, a restaurant, or whatever else? What defines a diner?

107) What is the one, singular, most significant place in the USA? (I realise this could be controversial)

108)  What would you, as an American, say was the best thing America has ever done, or the most important contribution it has made to the world? There’s no need to be coy here, I’m not asking for a fully-analysed unbiased dissertation on the subject, I just want to know what people are thinking. A person, an invention, an action…whatever takes your fancy. 

109) How does a state fair work? Is it really a fair for the whole state? Wouldn’t it have to be the size of a city for that? Does all of that get taken down at the end of the week and packed away, or do bits stay standing? 

110)  Are music festivals an upper class thing? Coachella seems to be an upper class thing but, then, I don’t really know what Coachella is, only that celebrities are there. Are there other music festivals of significance? 

111) When Americans say things like “We drove from New York to California last weekend, didn’t even stop to sleep, no big deal”, is there an element of bravado to that or is it completely genuine? I get that you drive long distances very casually but is there a point where those distances do become a big deal and a serious trip, you just pretend they don’t to mess with non-Americans? 

112) Is summer camp a normal thing for people to do, or is it something the minority of people send their kids to but it makes for a convenient movie setting so we see it a disproportionate amount? 

113)  Is a maths summer camp a thing or was that a joke in one book I read once? What would you even do at a maths summer camp? 

114) Is standing just inside the entrance of a shop and yelling a greeting at anyone who walks in a real job or is that a movie joke I don’t have the context to understand? If it is a job, is that the whole job or are you expected to do other things at the same time? 

115) Okay, the thing about the gap between the door and the wall in a bathroom stall. Is that as widespread as people say? I mean, is it everywhere? If so, there simply has to be a reason for it, it’s too weird otherwise, so does anybody out there know what’s going on with that? 

116) What actually is Kool-Aid? Is it true that you can drink it and use it as hair dye? 

117) What is an American Girl Doll? It seems to be a big deal but I can’t really figure it out. Is it just a brand of doll or is there more to it? 

118) Are the indicator lights on your cars officially called blinkers or is that more of a colloquial thing? Or not a thing at all? Would they be called that on your driving test? In a car manual? 

119) What actually is a GPA? What is it based on? And what counts as a good one? 

120) Is pancakes for breakfast a normal thing or a special occasion thing? 

121) What are cooties? I feel like I ought to know this, it comes up so often in various bits of media, but I’ve never actually figured out what it means. 

122) Is going to a pumpkin patch and just hanging out a real thing? Do you take pumpkins home with you? How about when you go apple picking? Are all these cutesy autumn activities a normal thing to do or is it just in romantic comedies?

123) How do school qualifications work? Are the exams you take at the end of high school, when you’re eighteen or whatever, the only ones that count if you’re looking to get a job? Or are there, sort of, mid-high-school exams that could also count towards something? Is it just “high school” then “degree” or are there other levels, is what I’m trying to ask. 

124) What is making out? By which I mean, what makes something “making out” rather than just kissing? Where’s that line drawn?

125) I understand that school newspapers are a thing. But do people pay to buy them? Other students? What kind of things do you write about in a school paper?

126) How does seeing the doctor work? Do you book an appointment with a local practitioner? Are there clinics? Does everybody wait until it’s an emergency? They don’t see doctors on TV unless they’re dying.

127) In Glee, they had slushie machines in the school. Which were used as weapons of bullying. Is that real? Are you allowed slushie machines? 

128)  Why is the president addressed as “Mr President”? Is there some historic reason? It seems odd to me, like calling somebody Mr Shopkeeper or Mr Insurance-Salesman. Is it because it is so clearly not a peerage title and that was important when America began? That’s my working theory based on no history whatsoever.

129) I understand that tipping servers at a restaurant and so on is very, very important but does that extend to other jobs? Do you tip postmen, for example, when they deliver your mail? Or shop assistants for bagging up groceries for you? 

130) Is a school mascot a) a real thing and b) a position of prestige? 

131) How do Girl Scout cookies work? Do the Girl Scouts make them themselves from secret recipes? Is it just a cookie company they happen to have a good relationship with for bake sales? It seems important but I can’t unravel the mystery. 

132)  What’s Delaware like? No stories ever seem to be set there. Nobody ever really mentions it. What goes on in Delaware? 

133) Somebody mentioned something called “color guard” once, which I think is something that happens at schools, but I don’t know what it was or whether they were messing with me. I’ve never knowingly seen it in a teen movie. Tell me about color guards. It sounds so fake. What are they guarding? 

134) I know that legal drinking age is twenty-one, but what age would you say the average person started drinking? I don’t mean “had a glass of wine at a family dinner” but I also don’t mean “drank to black-out”. Just…drank socially with the aim of getting at least tipsy. 

135) I can already tell that this is a silly question but what is under the bleachers? People seem to have clandestine meetings there a lot, but I thought bleachers were just benches. How do you get under them, and what is there once you do? Is hooking up there something people do in real life?

136) How small is a small town? Is it based on population or more on facilities e.g. if it has a certain number of basic shops, it becomes a normal-sized town?

137) Movies seem to think that being involved in music or theatre at school is deeply uncool. This is so contrary to my own experience at school, that I have to ask whether it is true or not? If so, is there a reason why or is it just one of those adolescent mysteries? 

138) Does everybody have those netting screens over their windows or is that only in regions prone to, say, mosquitos? 

139) Do small towns tend to have their own little tiny high schools or do the students have a long commute every morning to a bigger high school elsewhere? How far is considered acceptable/normal to travel to get to school?

140) When it comes to prom, is it considered really important to get a date or do lots of people turn up alone / with friends? If you do have to have a one-on-one date, is it usually romantic or is it acceptable just to pair up with a friend? Movies are very intense about this and I’m not sure the portrayal is accurate.

141) Do most schools have big theatre auditoriums with fully-functional stages and raked seating, or is that just High School Musical? 

142) Is sex ed really as poor as people joke about it being, on average? Is abstinence education the norm, or is it rarer but we hear about it a lot because it’s so controversial? 

143) Are chastity clubs at schools a real thing? If so, why, when almost all students must be underage? I mean, I know people are having underage sex but why make a club about obeying the law? I don’t mean for this to sound all judgemental, I’m just really lacking the cultural background to make sense of this. 

144)  Which is the most popular state, the one the fewest number of people hate? Is there even one that is universally well-liked? 

145) Would you normally refer to your country as “America” or “the US” or “the USA” or, I don’t know, some other variation? It seems pretty interchangeable but is there a preference? 

146) Is the “no outside food in the movie theatre” rule as rigorously enforced everywhere as general media would suggest? TV shows make it seem pretty militant but they might be exaggerating for comic effect. 

147) Is kindergarten a part of the compulsory school system or is it more of an optional pre-elementary-school step that only some people attend? What do you do in a kindergarten?

148) What makes somebody a redneck? Is it just a catch-all for the rural poor or is there something more specific behind it? 

149) Why is spring break supposedly this wild party time? What makes that a more suitable time for crazy shenanigans than, say, the autumn? Or July?

150) What is the difference between college and community college?

151) If you could pick one place to add as a new state, where would you choose? 

152) If you had to get rid of one state, which one would you kick out of the union? 

153) What is a letterman jacket for and why is it called a letterman jacket?

154) Washington DC. How does it work? I understand that it’s not a state, but if it’s not a state in a federal system, who governs it? Who runs the schools? And if the big elections are held by every state collecting their votes, figuring out the majority, then passing that on or whatever, how does Washington DC vote? Do they have people in the electoral college, whatever that turns out to be? What is going on there? Do real people actually live in DC or is it just politicians / people who serve politicians? 

If you’ve actually read this far and have even the slightest intention of answering any of these questions, you are a true angel and I love you. I’m sorry they’re not divided up into thematic groups or anything like that. I’ve been collecting this list for a few years now and I thought I might as well just ask at this point. 

[ephemeralstark]

Let This Moment Be the First Chapter

by @ephemeralstark for @where-rmysocks for the @friendly-neighborhood-exchange

Rating: T

Relationships: Tony Stark & Peter Parker 

Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan

Summary: Peter Parker: intern, Spider-Man, has never met Tony Stark in his life.

Tony Stark: has to do a speech at Midtown, knocks a bully down a peg or two, almost gets shot but is saved by...his intern?

Note: so I kinda combined two of the prompts and I hope you enjoy ahhh!! 

Click Read More! or read here on ao3 

“This is such a waste of time,” Tony grumbled as he shrugged on his suit jacket, glancing out of the corner of his eye to see if Pepper was paying any attention to his dramatics – she wasn’t. “This is a school, and it’s going to be full of greasy, sweaty children who care about nothing more than who’s dating who and where they stand in the popularity ranks.”

“You were a kid once,” Pepper said, “were you like that?”

“Yes!” Tony said sounding exasperated, “Pep, I was exactly like that, I mean I was a genius of course, but I was still a stinky, greasy teen.”

“You need more interns and college students are great, but your image would be much better if you were showing an interest in the youth of America.” Pepper said, still not glancing up from her phone as she arranged Tony’s security detail for the day. “An internship with you could help these kids nail a scholarship or give them an edge over their competitors, and we need their knowledge to get an edge on our competitors.”

“Yeah, obviously, but Midtown?” Tony asked.

Pepper sighed and finally graced him with a stare of utter disbelief, “Tony, you have an intern who goes to school there.”

“I do?”

“Yes. Peter Parker, he’s fifteen, straight A student, has an interest in his extra-curriculars and he’s on his decathlon team.” Pepper said.

“How do you know all of that?” Tony asked.

“Because we moved him to R&D.” Pepper said. “Because he’s one of the best interns you’ve ever had and because he’s the kid you should want to keep, you need a brain like his – treat him well and he’ll take this company far.”

“You’re already organising my next in line?” Tony asked, arching an eyebrow at her. “Shouldn’t that be our kid?”

“We don’t have a kid.”

“Not yet.”

“Peter Parker.” Pepper repeated, placing a folder in Tony’s hands and ignoring his muttered ‘I don’t like to be handed things’.

Tony continued to grumble as Happy appeared and said the car was ready. He continued to grumble as they drove to the stupid school, and he even grumbled as he was surrounded by a rather impressive security team.

In fact, he didn’t stop until he was standing in the principal’s office. He paced back and forth as he listened to Principal Morita talk about how proud they were to have him there speaking to their students. It was the usual bootlicking, annoying speech that everyone gave – hoping to stroke his ego and get their school put up on a higher pedestal than all of the others, so Tony zoned out, that was until-

“I don’t mean to alarm you, but there is a certain student here,” Principal Morita said carefully, as though he was unsure how to word things, “he’s been through a lot, he was orphaned, his uncle died a few months ago, so it’s normal that he would act out a little-”

“Is he a threat?” Happy interrupted, hand resting casually on top of his suit jacket, but Tony knew full well what sort of weaponry lay underneath. He wanted to snap at Happy not to pull a weapon out in a goddamn school but thankfully he was beaten to it.

“No.” Principal Morita said quickly, “no, no, no, no threats here. It’s just he’s been making up some lies, he was caught talking about an internship with his friends – an internship with you that is.”

“Oh,” Tony muttered, rolling his eyes, before remembering that Pepper had mentioned they had an intern who went to school here, he hoped that no one was giving his intern any stick, “what’s the kid’s name?”

“Sorry?” Principal Morita asked, Tony wondered whether it was just the other school kids who were giving that kid a hard time, he really hoped that the teachers weren’t joining in too – especially if the story about his uncle only having passed away a few months ago was true.

“The kid who claims to be my intern, what’s his name?”

“Peter.”

“Oh Parker.” Tony said. “Yeah, that kid works for my company, in fact I was considering turning his internship into a paid one – he’s a great kid.”

Principal Morita seemed to turn a strange grey colour.  

“You wouldn’t have given him any, I don’t know, detentions, would you?” Tony asked, eyes narrowing, “nothing that would go on his permanent record?”

“I’ll remove them instantly.” Principal Morita said, and Tony was satisfied to see a guilty look appear on the man’s face.

He wanted to plough on and make the man feel as shit as that kid had probably felt for being punished for a completely unfair reason, but a small throat clear from Happy convinced him to move on. He knew the security detail was anxious about the length of time he would be in the school and he wasn’t supposed to be dragging it out any further. He didn’t want to create more of a risk than there already was.

“Shall we then?” Tony asked.

Principal Morita seemed to remember the reason for Tony Stark being in his school, and he instantly jumped to his feet, bumping into his desk and knocking over his pen pot, “yes, yes, yes,” he said as he gathered them back up and made his way to the door, giving Happy a wide berth.

“The students will already be in the hall now, and I believe some of your bodyguards have taken the liberty to install temporary metal detectors and bag search everyone… thoroughly.” Principal Morita said.

“Standard practise.” Happy grunted.

“Yes, yes, of course, I quite understand.” The man said even though it was clear from the small frown on his face that he most definitely didn’t understand why they had done that.

How could he?

It wasn’t like there were people out for his blood. Well, maybe the odd parent or two, Tony paused thinking about the ruthless parents he’d come across in his time as they tried to convince him that their little cherub was the most important child in the world and should get a Stark Internship because of their family’s status.

Maybe Tony should lend the man his own security detail.

 They walked into the hall and Tony was met with silence, he wasn't sure that he'd ever seen a hall full of students be so quiet, it was rather unnerving - this was all Pepper's fault, she could have done the presentation and offered up the temptation of an internship to the students, she was so much better at public speaking than he was and that was purely because he knew he would drop an 'f' bomb somewhere. He was incapable of not. 

Thankfully the silence didn't last long, and Tony heard the whispers start to break out. 

Tony Stark!

Iron Man! 

Did you hear what The Bugle said about him last month...

My dad said that he once met Iron Man at…

I wish I was his kid, imagine what a life that would be…

Ha, Penis, I bet you're going to be so embarrassed when he exposes you for the fraud you are! Or rather, when he doesn't acknowledge you at all, because why would he? He has no idea who you are. 

Well, that kid sounded like a delight, maybe Tony would prove him wrong - he was obviously talking about the intern that he actually didn't know, but would happily pretend to if it would improve the kid's chances at a peaceful school life. Although, maybe his good intentions would go wrong as the other kids may pretend to be his friend to get closer to Stark Industries, Tony had dealt with that a few times in his life. 

"Alright, alright," Principal Morita said, standing slightly too close to the microphone, a squeal rang out through the hall and the students covered their ears with exclamations of annoyance, "settle down now, if you want to hear what Mr. Stark has to say then you all need to quieten down."

Tony watched as an excited hush fell upon the hall, some of the students looking as though they were minutes away from jumping out of their seats and launching themselves at him. For what reason though, he was unsure. 

"Now, I know this week has been long and difficult," Principal Morita said, "between the tests and presentations you've all been through, you've all done remarkably well, but now we will finish off our career week with a speech from Tony Stark, owner of Stark Industries. Over to you, Mr. Stark."

Principal Morita stepped back, leaving Tony to wonder what the hell sort of tests a school could be giving to its students during a career week - back in his day they had been the perfect time for a skive, and yet all of the students he was looking at had bags under their eyes and tired shadows on their faces. School had definitely changed from his time. 

"Thank you Principal," Tony said politely, Pepper would be proud of him, "now, I know that you've probably had some great speeches this week, they have most likely inspired and motivated you all to look into the careers that are available to you and maybe some of you have already decided what path you would like to pursue - my speech will be nothing like those."

Tony paused while a few students laughed. 

"I'm not known for being a perfect person, I've messed up in the past, I've had my fair share of scandals, but what no paper can say about me is that I don't know how to run a business - because I do," Tony said confidently, "I haven't created a worldwide brand out of my name for no reason - Stark Industries has changed the way we look at energy, we've changed the face of clean energy and we've adjusted all of our practices in the workplace to leave as little a carbon footprint as possible.

"You may be thinking, 'why? What's the point in that?' well, I'll tell you what the point is - we are trying to improve the environment and improve the way we view the world."

He noticed a few confused glances - they were probably wondering why Tony Stark was lecturing them on clean energy, after all he hadn't managed to fully get rid of the image of being a weapons producer yet, he was still viewed as that person even though he'd made a pretty big deal about removing himself from the market. 

"I know, I know, what's the point of all of this?" Tony asked. "Why should you guys care what Stark Industries is doing to fix the world? Well, we've started employing interns to help us, we were employing college age students, but now we're reaching out to school kids. We want to pick your brains and figure out what you’re doing in your day to day life and figure out how we can use our technology to improve efficiency and reduce negative impacts on the environment." 

A hand popped up.

"Yes?" 

"So, you don't already have any school kids as interns?" A kid asked, and Tony recognised that voice as the one that had been calling the other kid 'Penis' earlier – likely the main bully of the kid that was his intern. 

"Well, we have one that goes to this school," Tony said casually, grinning internally when the kid who had asked the question paled, "he's the reason I'm doing this speech here, in fact, because he's doing such a great job at his internship that me and my fiancé - Pepper - figured that we may as well try and get some more interns with a similar mentality as what he has, and where better than the place where he was taught, where his friends are."

Tony watched as the kid gaped at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish - before he drove the final blow home. 

"In fact, he doesn't know this yet, but he's going to have a final say on who we take on as new interns." Tony said. "We will do the shortlisting and then once we're down to five potential candidates we'll ask him who should get the job."

"B-but-" the kid stammered.

"Yes?" Tony asked. 

"What if he's biased and chooses a friend?" 

"Well if that friend has made it to the final five then they probably deserve the position." Tony said with a shrug. "So long as you're not bothering him, I don't think you should need to worry."

Tony realised that he had spent the whole time talking about the kid without even knowing which one he was, that and he'd made plans for the kid's future at the internship without actually making sure that he was alright with them. 

"Anyway, now that we've addressed all of that; Peter Parker - can you come forward please?" Tony asked. 

He scanned the students from behind his sunglasses, pleased that they would stop the rest of the hall from seeing that he had no idea who he was actually looking for. There was a small commotion somewhere behind the kid who had asked the question - the bratty bully - and a short kid with curly hair was pushed up to his feet by an unimpressed looking girl. 

The kid was wearing a dorky T-Shirt with a science pun on it, he looked as though he was about to faint or run away and Tony wasn't sure which option would be the least embarrassing for them both. 

"C'mon up here Pete." Tony said. 

Peter apprehensively made his way up to Tony and stood a few metres away, casting side glances at the older man every now and then before returning his gaze to the floor. 

"This is Peter," Tony said, "I'm sure you know him, probably better than I do, although I doubt you guys have had to deal with him stealing the last slice of pepperoni pizza and leaving you with the Hawaiian like a heathen." 

Peter frowned as though he was wondering himself if that was something that had actually happened, or maybe he was offended at the insinuation that he didn't like pineapple on pizza - Tony wasn't sure and he wasn't convinced that he would want to know the reasoning behind it. 

Pepper would have been better off doing this presentation - she wouldn't have hijacked it to prove a point to a stupid school bully. Why couldn't Tony just follow simple instructions? Give a speech, grab an iced coffee, go home. It would have been so much easier. 

It turned out that Tony's decision to prove a point to a bully would save his life as four things happened in rapid succession. 

Peter's head snapped up and he stared at Tony with a look of horror that sent fear spiralling through Tony's stomach. 

A window shattered above them. 

Tony was shoved to the ground by a force that he would have likened to that of being hit by a car. 

A bullet imbedded itself into the wall just behind where Tony's head had been. 

It was impossible. Peter had moved faster than the bullet, he had known where it had been intending to hit, but there had been no laser, no inclination that there was a gun on him, nothing - so how had Peter known? He couldn't have been behind the plot to kill him as he wouldn't have bothered to push him out of the way. Not only had he saved Tony, but he'd done it with such a strength that it made him suspicious. 

"Kid?" Tony asked, looking at the child who was staring wide eyed at the hole in the wall. "Are you alright?" 

"I- uh- yeah?" The kid muttered, making Tony keenly aware that he was not ok in the slightest. 

Tony tried to push himself up but he found that Peter's hand was stuck to his suck jacket...but... his hand wasn't closed around the fabric - it was open, his palm was sticking as though there was glue or something on it, but that was impossible. People couldn't just stick to things, not unless they were- oh. 

He was sticky. He had sensed the bullet coming. He moved faster than humanly possible. He was stronger than an average person. 

The kid was Spider-Man. 

"Come on kid, unstick yourself, people will notice." Tony murmured quietly, tugging on his suit jacket slightly to try and catch the kid’s attention again.

"I-" Peter's gaze shifted from the hole in the wall to his own hand and he stared at it as though it had betrayed him. He pulled it back to his own chest as though it had never been stuck in the first place. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," Tony said, "I don't think anyone else noticed." 

"Noticed what?" The kid said, as though he had any chance of denying the obvious. 

"Tony!" Happy was there in an instant and they were surrounded by his security detail - it was like a wall between them and the outside world. "Are you alright? Did they get you anywhere?" 

"No, the kid was in the right place at the right time apparently." Tony said. 

"Should we be suspicious?" Happy asked, obviously wondering if it was more than a coincidence that Peter was there when he was needed.

"No." Tony said surely, feeling a headache forming behind his eyes from the stress of the near-death experience and the screaming of the students in the hall.

“This was meant to be cool.” Peter mumbled, a distinct whine in his voice, Tony was sure that he wasn’t meant to hear it.

“Happy, get us out of here.” Tony said. “The kid is coming back with us.”

And that was how Tony found himself standing in the middle of his workshop with a defensive kid sat on one of the workbenches both of them sipping sugary mugs of cocoa – to help with the shock of the day - as they watched a video of Spider-Man swinging in front of a bus and stopping it with his hands. 

"That's you." Tony stated. 

"No, it's not." Peter lied. 

"Yes. It is." 

"If you already know then why are you doing this?" Peter asked cocking his head in a mix of confusion and irritation. 

"You saved my life." Tony said. 

"So you're going to what? Expose my identity in thanks?" 

"Are you always so sarcastic?" Tony wondered. 

"What are you doing?" Peter asked, narrowing his eyes. 

"For the last four months I've been keeping tabs on the Spider-Man, trying to figure out his motives, see if he's a threat - the usual shebang, you know?" Tony asked, Peter didn't answer but that had been expected. "And then I learn that it’s you, you're the Spider-Kid, why do you do it?"

"Do I need to have a reason?" Peter asked. 

"Everyone has a reason for doing things, sometimes we don't know our reasons, but we always have them." Tony said. 

"So maybe I don't know why I do it." 

"That's a lie," Tony said instantly, "come on kid, cut the bullshit, why do you do it?"

"Why did you point me out in the assembly today even though you’ve never met me before and you had no idea who I was before today?"

"I heard that kid calling you... names earlier and your principal had warned me that there was a kid that was lying about working for me." Tony admitted. 

Peter snorted, "figures he wouldn't believe me either, but what you're saying is that you did it because you felt like sticking up for the little guy?"

"That's why your Spider-Kid isn't it?" Tony asked, knowing that he was right. "You know that most heroes are fighting the bigger threats to the world as we know it, and no one is stopping the petty crimes that are happening close to home."

"I wouldn't call assault a petty crime." Peter said. 

"Fair, that was poor word choice." Tony conceded. 

"But, yeah," Peter said with a sigh, "I'm looking out for the little guy."

"What motivates you to do that?" Tony asked.

"What do you mean?" Peter asked with a small frown.

"I mean what makes you put on that onesie and jump around Queens saving people and bicycles?" Tony asked, feeling bad for phrasing it like that when Peter flushed bright red and looked away. 

"It's not a onesie." He muttered. 

"It isn't?" 

"I did my best to modify some old pyjamas and a hoodie," Peter admitted, "I wasn't all that great at sewing so it was the best that I could do."

"I mean all things considered, it's not the worst." Tony said graciously. "But come on, what motivates you?"

"You're not going to let this go are you?" Peter asked. 

"Come on Kiddo, I'm Tony Stark, I don't let anything go." Tony said with an eye roll. 

"Fine," Peter said with a weary sigh that almost made Tony wish he could turn back time and forget to ask the question. Almost. He was also very curious, "I guess I figured that when you can do the things that I can, when you have the ability to save people, and you don't, aren't you partially responsible?" 

"You think you have a duty to protect the people in your neighbourhood?" 

"I know I do." Peter corrected him. 

"You aren't responsible for the wrongdoings of others." Tony said, hoping that the kid already knew that. 

"Aren't I?" Peter wondered. "If I see someone being mugged, and I don't stop to help them doesn't that make me guilty?"

"I can see what you're saying," Tony admitted, "but where does that responsibility end? How much pressure are you going to put on yourself before you crack?" 

"It's not that bad, I only patrol in Queens, and I do have a life outside of Spider-Man." Peter admitted. 

"Good, because you're young," Tony said, "you can't have the weight of the world on your shoulders." 

The kid glanced away, and Tony wondered if the kid already did. Hadn’t the principal said he’d recently lost his uncle? How and when exactly had that happened?

"Right," Tony continued after sensing that he wouldn't get much more out of Peter on that subject, "now, I don't think anyone noticed your sticky situation-"

"Don't call it that!" Peter insisted, flushing. 

"-but should anyone bring it up I've taken the liberty to put my number in your phone," Tony said, holding out the device.

"When did you even take this?" Peter wondered. 

"So if anyone mentions it, call me," Tony said, ignoring Peter's question, "I have a stack of NDAs already prepared and I can be there in ten minutes with the Iron Man suit."

"You'd do that for me?" Peter asked with wide eyes. 

"Kid, you saved my life," Tony said, "I'm upgrading you to my personal intern and your newest project is to help me design a new Spider-Man suit for you. If I have to fly across the city to protect my intern's identity, then I'll do it in a heartbeat." 

"You mean it?" Peter asked, Tony was almost afraid to say yes because he was worried the kid might burst into tears. 

"Of course I do." 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you." Peter rambled as he launched himself at Tony and hugged him tightly for a brief second before backing off with wide eyes as he remembered who it was he was talking to, "ah sorry, I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, I'm just so grateful." 

"Don't stress," Tony said, waving off the apologies, "besides, just wait until Pepper bursts in here."

"Pepper Potts?" Peter asked. 

"Yeah, she can’t wait to thank you for saving my life today." Tony said with a grin. "Don't worry, I didn't tell her your secret but don't expect her not to figure it out, she's a formidable woman with a brain to rival mine." 

"She sounds great." Peter said. 

"I'll remind you that you said that in a few months’ time when she's chasing you off the ceiling with a broom." 

"Mr. Stark, I would never crawl on the ceiling," Peter said with a look of shock, but Tony could have sworn that he heard a whispered, "at least not when you'd see me."

And so, the unknown intern turned into the kid who risked his identity to save Tony's life and in turn would eventually become his prodigy, not that he knew that fact yet - but as they settled down to start sketching out new blueprints for a Spider-Man suit, Tony had a feeling that he could get used to having someone to teach, someone who looked up to him, someone he felt protective over.