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witcher-and-his-bard-archive · 4 years ago

Text

Someone Else (I'm Still Right Here)

also on ao3

minor warning for Geralt coming on to Jask when he doesn't know who he is, but nothing comes from it.

They've hardly been in town long enough for anything to go wrong and yet, Jaskier finds his thoughts interrupted by banging on the door of their room. If it was Geralt, he would simply let himself in even if he didn't have his hands free to open the door properly, so it must be important. Jaskier rises from the bed, setting his lute aside with a sigh. He detests being interrupted while he's working for anything less than an emergency - and judging by the fact that the knock hasn't come again, this is hardly an emergency.

He saunters to the door, pulling it open to find the face of the innkeeper's wife staring back at him anxiously.

"Sorry to interrupt," she says, "it's your Witcher, sir. Something's happened and no one is... well, they're all afraid to get too close to him. They called in the healer from the next town, but-"

Jaskier frowns. The contract was for a pair of drowners, not even a nest of the damn things. Geralt could have taken them out in his sleep - so what went so terribly wrong?

Jaskier lets himself be led downstairs, doing his best to mask worry with intrigue, but it isn't working. The innkeeper's wife leads him to the edge of the forest where her husband is waiting, a look of pained concern on his face. Jaskier's stomach drops as the man just points into the trees, and he hurries forward without delay. If the people in town won't help Geralt, he will certainly do his best.

When he finds him, Geralt is in a bad state. His eyes are still dark from the potions - probably why the locals wouldn't come near - and there's blood streaked down the side of his face.

Jaskier stays quiet. It's bad enough that Geralt can hear his pulse racing, he doesn't need to make his fear any more obvious to him. He kneels down on the soft ground, assessing the damage before moving him. He's learned from experience that one wrong move can make a wound worse rather than better.

"Okay," he says once he's satisfied. "I'm just gonna pull this off," he taps on Geralt's left pauldron, "make sure your head is the only thing you banged up." Jaskier frowns as he says it, but Geralt seems, as usual, unconcerned. He's much better behaved than usual though, which strikes Jaskier as being particularly odd.

He ignores it and pushes through, tearing an already ripped piece of Geralt's shirt to wipe away some of the blood. Geralt will be grouchy about it later, but if Jaskier replaces it, he can't be too angry. He does his best to clean Geralt's skin and he finds just the one injury - a hefty blow to the head. Not that it seems to be bothering Geralt any.

But when Jaskier cups his jaw, tipping his head to one side, Geralt hums. It catches him off guard and Jaskier jerks back to look at him.

"Your hands feel nice," Geralt breathes and leans into the touch. Okay. So maybe the head injury is more serious than it appears. The innkeeper's wife said a healer was coming, Jaskier will mention it to them when they arrive. Or maybe it's just the blood loss. Either way, the healer will be better prepared to deal with it than he is.

"What are you doing here?" Geralt asks.

"The innkeeper's wife came to collect me. Figured someone ought to come and collect you."

"No one else would even get near me."

"Yes, well, I'm not everyone else, am I?"

"Hmm. Guess not."

Jaskier comes around to look at him, straddling his thighs and Geralt leans forward, resting his head on his shoulder and nuzzling into his neck.

"Yes yes," Jaskier hums, "I know you're tired, darling, but we have to get you up and back to town."

Geralt is reluctant, but he lets himself be hauled to his feet and doesn't even complain about Jaskier propping him up as they make their way back toward town. He's quiet, which is to be expected, but Jaskier is worried that he's keeping something from him, that he's worse off than he seems because Geralt seems quite happy to let himself be assisted - something he would regularly fight against.

As they make it back to the inn, Jaskier knows everyone is watching them and he scolds a couple of them for not offering to help when a man was injured. He takes Geralt up to their room and ducks out from under his arm, leaving him alone for a moment so he can get the fire lit and ready the bed for him. But before he can do either, he finds himself pressed up against the room door with Geralt's face mere inches from his own.

The dark veins and darker eyes are… sexier than they have any right to be and Jaskier swallows back a groan, pressing a gentle hand to Geralt's chest. The Witcher is still woozy and unsteady on his feet, but he resists being pressed back and Jaskier frowns at him.

"Mm, as much fun as this is, I doubt you'll think so highly of me in the morning, darling." Geralt smiles slyly and, for a split second, Jaskier worries that he's become Geralt's quarry, that the toxins running through Geralt's body are really as bad as he always claims they are and that he is, in fact, in real danger around him. But then Geralt leans in, bumping his nose against Jaskier's and any thoughts of fear dissipate immediately.

Instead, Jaskier ducks down and away, holding both arms out as Geralt follows him.

"Geralt," he asks, "what's gotten into you? Not that I mind, but-" he eyes him carefully and Geralt just grins at him again.

"Don't be coy with me, bard, this is what you brought me here for."

"Um. No? I brought you here to rest, to put you to bed not take you to bed, and find you something to eat. This is our room, Geralt, not my room. They only had one left and I didn't think you'd mind-"

"Our room?" Geralt interrupts and Jaskier nods. Worry creeps in and he looks closely at Geralt. His eyes are black still, though the veins are retreating and he seems brighter than usual, not so gloomy.

"Yes?"

"Why would we be sharing a room," Geralt huffs, "I've only just met you."

Jaskier gawks at him. It's not like Geralt to play games, that's Lambert's area of expertise - and this is stupid and obvious even for Lambert's tastes. But something is off about Geralt tonight. The worry turns to fear and Jaskier suddenly wonders if the man he's brought back is his Witcher at all.

He's never met a doppler, but he's heard Geralt tell stories about them. For the most part, they're harmless, but Jaskier suspects they can be paid or bribed like anyone else and the thought of a stranger here in the room with his things, with Geralt's things-

"I thought you wanted sex," maybe-Gealt says again, slightly confused but not at all dissuaded. Normally Jaskier would take it as a compliment that he was still so enthusiastic about fucking him, but this feels very, very wrong. And yet a part of him still considers it.

If it is a doppler, there's no harm really. He's consenting and Jaskier is more than happy to fuck a man with Geralt's face (he doesn't think too much about how that will affect him after it's fine). Right? But there's still a nagging feeling that this isn't a doppler. He'd know, he thinks, if he brought someone else home with him.

"Can you just-" he says, backing up toward the bed where his bag is sitting on the floor. Maybe-Geralt just watches him with confusion as he crouches down and pulls his dagger from his pack.

It's just a little thing, but it's pure silver, gifted to him by Geralt in case of emergency.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Jaskier says, holding it out, "I just need you to touch this."

Maybe-Geralt gives him a questioning look but reaches out and takes the dagger from him, turning it over in his hand. Nothing happens.

"Hmm," he says, "nice weight, well made. A little decorative maybe-"

"Doesn't hurt?" Jaskier asks and maybe-Geralt, who is seeming more and more like just Geralt laughs.

"Not unless you stab someone with it."

Jaskier valiantly ignores the little smirk and shuts his eyes.

"Okay," he says, "start at the beginning, what do you remember?"

"I… woke up in the forest and then you showed up," he smiles at him and Jaskier is already preparing a refusal.

"Listen, Geralt, I am your friend and you would probably even argue that-"

"How come? You're very handsome and you've been helpful and kind-"

"But it's not like that, Geralt. It never has been. I offered once and you were… less than impressed with me." Geralt says nothing and Jaskier takes the opportunity to reign the conversation in. "Can I clean you up now? Something is obviously wrong and we have to get you to a doctor."

"They said a healer was coming."

"I was thinking of someone a little more professional," Jaskier says and Geralt gives him a look. "We have a mutual friend who may be able to help. But for now, you've got me and I'd like to take a look at that wound."

Geralt relents and Jaskier finally succeeds in getting him sat on the bed without Geralt trying to come on to him again. He pulls Geralt's hair back and ties it out of his face, it'll need to be washed later, but he's not going to try and explain how it's fine for him to wash his hair but not fuck him right now.

The wound itself it's so bad, a bit swollen, a bit bruised, but the actual gash is small and very manageable. He cleans it first with water and then with vodka and applies a good amount of salve. He doesn't know which herbs Geralt combines for a poultice, so he bypasses that for the time being; when he gets him to Shani if the wound isn't healed on its own, she'll be able to tend to it.

He finds linen wrap at the bottom of his bag and presses it to Geralt's forehead, gently wrapping it around and tying it at his temple.

"Should be good for now. I'll go down and have supper brought up. Do you want a bath?"

"No. Thank you."

"Alright. Just… stay here, I'll be back."

As soon as the bedroom door is shut, Jaskier closes his eyes, but he waits until he reaches the main floor to lean against the wall and sigh. He has no idea what he's going to do. He never thought he'd be sad to see the day Geralt tried to get him into bed, but it feels so wrong. He'd rather spend the rest of his life failing to impress Geralt than spend another five minutes with him like this.

He takes his time ordering food, half-hoping that Geralt will be asleep by the time he gets back to the room, but their supper is ready quickly and Jaskier reluctantly takes it back up to their room, setting the tray on the table beside the bed.

Geralt at least spares him conversation while they eat and then Jaskier sets the dishes aside and strips out of his clothes for bed, already dreading having to share a bed. He keeps his shorts on and waits until Geralt is already in bed before climbing in after him.

The fire is burning low already, so he's not worried about it, but he blows out the candle beside the bed and pulls the blankets up over himself. He faces out into the room, preferring not to see Geralt right now. It feels weird to want to avoid him and it makes his chest ache because this is Geralt, but it's not. He just wants his Geralt back.

He shuts his eyes and tries to sleep but Geralt is cuddly like this, shifting closer and pressing up against him. He gets an arm around Jaskier's waist and Jaskier squeezes his eyes shut. It's everything he thinks about during the long nights sleeping around a campfire, but he can't let himself give into it. But it feels good because it's Geralt's arm around him, Geralt's chest pressed to his back, Geralt's breath against his neck. He very nearly whines because it's so damn unfair.

But then Geralt's lips press against the back of his neck and a little gasp escapes his lips, unintentionally. He ignores it the first time, but then he does it again and when he shifts closer, Jaskier can feel the length of his cock pressing against his ass. And fuck, that's hard to turn down, but Jaskier wrenches himself out of Geralt's arms.

"I can't," he whispers, unconvincing even to himself.

"You want it, though," Geralt hums, "I can smell it on you."

"Maybe," Jaskier confesses, "but not like this. Not when you don't know who I am. Not when fucking any other person in this place would be the same for you. I can't, Geralt. Go to sleep."

Jaskier hates how disappointed Geralt sounds when he pulls away, but he doesn't try again and Jaskier almost finds himself wishing he would. He tugs the blanket a little tighter around himself and pulls his knees to his chest, trying to force back the fear that he might not get his Geralt back.

In the morning, Geralt wakes first and Jaskier is relieved to find himself alone in bed, although he worries about where Geralt has gotten to. But when he drags himself out of bed, he finds Geralt packed and ready to go with a hearty breakfast waiting for him.

"What's all this?" Jaskier asks, "trying to get away from me all of a sudden?" It comes out more bitter than he intends and he winces at the tone of his own voice.

"You were so sad, last night," Geralt says quietly. "I don't know how to fix this, how to remember you, but I thought you'd want to get started early. I had breakfast brought up." He offers a soft smile, gesturing to the food and Jaskier's heart flip-flops.

"Oh. Thank you."

"I've eaten. Take your time and we can leave when you're finished."

"Right."

Geralt just sits on the bed while Jaskier eats his breakfast and contemplates the fact that this is still his Geralt, as much as it doesn't seem like it. His own things are still ready to go and he has no idea who to go to to collect the reward for the drowners, but it couldn't have been much anyway, so he's not worried about it. Geralt won't be pleased about it when he remembers himself, but there's only so much Jaskier knows how to handle and he wants to get Geralt to Shani as quickly as possible.

They head out mid-morning, and Geralt insists on letting Jaskier ride, which is… nice, in a concerning way. Roach is equally confused and concerned, but Jaskier does his best to comfort her. Thankfully, they aren't far from Oxenfurt or Jaskier isn't sure how he would cope.

Geralt walks alongside him, happy enough apparently to let Jaskier ride. He hums as they travel, a low wonderful sound that had Jaskier's heart fluttering, but it tears him in two because the song is his which means Geralt does remember something, but he's also so sad to see him this calm and relaxed knowing his goal is to take that away from him.

For now, he won't say anything, will just let Geralt enjoy the journey. When and if they find a way to get his memory back, he'll explain everything and give Geralt the chance to decline if he wishes. The selfish part of him hopes he doesn't.

They carry on in much the same way, but even when Geralt talks, Jaskier struggles to find it in himself to be too enthusiastic about anything. He's already in a difficult spot and he just wants to get through this, whatever the outcome. But it's obvious Geralt notices and that he's trying to distract him from it.

Jaskier tries to cheer up a little, if only for him, but he finds it difficult because he knows Geralt can tell how he's really feeling. But Jaskier appreciates the effort, either way.

"Remind me where we're going?" Geralt asks and Jaskier realizes he hasn't told him, Geralt just trusted him not to be leading him towards certain death.

"To Oxenfurt," he says, trying to sound cheerful, "it's one of my favourite places on the continent. I have a friend who practices medicine, she should be able to help."

"You don't have to pretend for me. I know you're sad, I know you miss him. Me. I wish I could give you your friend back."

Jaskier's heart clenches and he takes a steadying breath. "I'm fine," he says, "and I can't miss him, he's you and you're right here." He feels odd, like he's talking to a child, but Geralt just smiles at him, softly but like he doesn't believe him. Jaskier wouldn't either, he's never been good at lying to Geralt.

There's a heavy silence that falls after that and for some time they continue forward unspeaking. Jaskier twitches to feel the silence, to sing or talk to something just to keep from thinking that Geralt is upset with him. Then, abruptly, Geralt speaks.

"What kind of man am I?" Jaskier doesn't even have to think to answer that.

"You're kind," he says, "more than anyone gives you credit for. You always try to take the less violent route, even though your job is to kill monsters. You're generous and loving and you care so deeply for your friends and family."

He pauses for a moment, swallowing a lump in his throat. Because he's not included in that group. He knows Geralt must care for him, but not in the way he loves Eskel or Lambert, or even in the way his friendship with Shani or Zoltan comes so easily to him. Next to him, Geralt is silent for a moment and then.

"Jaskier are you-" Jaskier shuts his eyes, dreading whatever is coming next. "Do you love me?"

"Of course I do," he says, forcing cheeriness into his voice, "You're my best friend."

"But it's more than that, isn't it?"

"Geralt-"

"I know I don't really know you, but I… think I love you, too."

"Geralt, don't say that," Jaskier shuts his eyes tightly, "you can't know that."

"I feel it."

Jaskier wants to scream. It's so unfair to hear those words from Geralt's mouth and know they’re not true. He pushes Roach a little quicker forward, but Geralt stops him.

Roach comes to a full stop and Jaskier grows frowns at Geralt as he comes to stand next to him. Geralt raised a hand up, cupping his jaw and guiding him downward.

"I feel like you won't hear it from me again, so I love you." He's soft, almost breathless, and when he stretches up to kiss him, Jaskier doesn't stop him.

It's just soft, no urgency, no want for something more than just a kiss and Jaskier can't help but lean into it just a little. Because those are Geralt's hands on him, Geralt's mouth against his own, soft and slow.

But Geralt moans softly against him and Jaskier remembers himself with a start. He pulls back from the Witcher, almost unseating himself, but Geralt steadies him.

"I'm sorry," he breathes, "I can't, it's not fair-"

"To me?" Geralt asks and there's sadness behind the humour in his voice.

"Yes."

After that, they spend the rest of the day in silence and Jaskier feels bad for Geralt - he can't imagine losing his memory and not knowing who he is - but he can't stand the fruitless hope. Because Geralt doesn't love him, he's made it known that they're not friends and how could Jaskier hope for more when he can't even attain friendship?

Then again, the man walking next to him now still is Geralt. He doesn't feel like Geralt and he doesn't act like Geralt, but he is. Jaskier isn't sure how people usually react when they lose their memories, so he doesn't have a basis to judge by, but it is still Geralt.

When they stop for the night, Geralt sleeps close enough to keep him warm but doesn't cuddle up like he did the night before and Jaskier hates himself for it. Maybe Geralt has a chance here at a new life, one where he can be happy and not weighed down by the memory of his childhood. And if he does, if he wants it, who is Jaskier to deny him that?

He's not sure he could be a part of it, though. Even thinking about him now, wishing Geralt would come a little closer, curl an arm around his middle, he feels like he's betraying his friend, betraying the old Geralt as the case may be.

Either way, he'll get Geralt to Oxenfurt so they can speak to Shani and see if there's anything that can be done. If there's not, he doesn't have to worry about making the decision to leave or stay, but if there is- If there is a chance Geralt can regain his memories, Jaskier has to let him make that choice alone and then make his own depending on what Geralt wants.

They reach Oxenfurt a few days later after what feels like a month-long journey and Jaskier is just glad to be somewhere warm where he can have his own room and not have to worry about wanting to be close. He leads them immediately to the inn and rents two separate rooms. It's fairly costly and he's reminded of the reason they needed to take the last contract, but he could be in Oxenfurt for a while depending on how this goes and he'll be able to pick up work easily enough.

Jaskier heads up to his room and makes sure Geralt gets settled, then he heads down and orders food and a bath up to Geralt's room before heading out to find Shani.

The first place he looks is the hospital, but the nurse working informs him that Shani has her own clinic now and she's located near the centre of town. Jaskier thanks her and doubles back, following the directions she'd given. Shani's clinic is tucked between two other buildings and Jaskier knocks before entering. There's no one inside but it's only a moment before Shani emerges from a back room, the neutral look on her face quickly growing into a smile. When Jaskier doesn't return the gesture she frowns.

"I take it this isn't a personal visit," she says and Jaskier can feel something inside him slip. He shakes his head.

"No, I'm sorry. I- we need your help."

"Geralt?" she asks and the last bit of his self-control gives way and he chokes on a sob. "Hey," she says, "come sit down."

Shani guides him to a back room and sits him down on a plush soft, surprisingly nice for a medical clinic. She shuts and locks the door behind them and sits next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Geralt," he chokes, "hes'-" he takes a deep breath, swallowing back another sob. "Shani, he doesn't know who he is. He doesn't know who I am."

"Oh. What happened?"

"I wasn't there. I just- they came to get me because no one else would get near him. It was just supposed to be a drowner contract but he got hit in the head or something. I don't know what to do."

"Where is he now?"

"Back at the inn."

"Here?" she asks. Jaskier nods. "Why don't you take me to him, I'll take a look."

"I- I don't know if he'll want to be fixed? He came with me but Shani, he seems happy."

"Why don't we go and see him first. We'll figure out what's wrong before worrying too much, hm?" Jaskier agrees and Shani packs a bag and they head for the inn.

They find Geralt in his room, having eaten and bathed and he looks good. He's got his hair down around his shoulders and he's shirtless and Jaskier has to avert his eyes. He takes a seat in the corner and lets Shani introduce herself and asks to look him over. Jaskier stays quiet and watches cautiously as Geralt easily lets Shani look him over. Once she's finished with his body, she examines his head.

"Well," she says at last, "you obviously took a pretty hefty blow to your head, but the good news is it should be simple to reverse the memory loss."

"Good," Geralt says quickly. He spares a glance for Jaskier before turning back to Shani. "What do we have to do?"

"It's simple really, just a shock to your system should do it. I have a friend who can help."

As Shani goes into the details, Jaskier tunes out. He hears something about neurons, but he's more concerned about getting Geralt alone for a couple of minutes before he makes a decision. He loves Geralt, wants nothing more than for him to be happy, so he wants him to go into this knowing everything Jaskier can tell him.

"Can we have a moment Shani?" he asks and Geralt looks at him as Shani nods and ducks out of the room.

"You want to do it?" Jaskier asks and Geralt nods.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You're happier like this," Jaskier whispers, "Geralt, I've never seen you this relaxed. In twenty years, you've always been miserable. I just- I want you to make an informed decision."

"You say you want me to be happy," Geralt says, "but since I told you I didn't know who you were you've been so sad. How is it fair for me to be happy like you say when you're still suffering." He tips Jaskier's chin up with two fingers and looks into his eyes. "What I said before, I wasn't lying. I don't know where all these feelings are coming from but I know you are so important to me."

He pulls up a smile and Jaskier knows how this is going to end. And he'll be happy to have his Geralt back, but know him like this? To know this Geralt wants him, even in some weird, imaginary way? He doesn't know how he'll be able to continue.

"Okay," Jaskier relents. "I just… wanted you to know what you were getting into."

"I'm sure it can't be all bad. I have you."

Jaskier's heart clenches, but he doesn't get another chance to speak because Shani enters the room. Thankfully, Geralt has stopped touching him, but he's still close and she gives Jaskier a look.

"I put out a call to my friend," she says, holding up a box that looks vaguely familiar. "Xenovox," she explains, "Marilla is a mage. She should be here in the morning."

It's late afternoon now, so that means spending another night at the inn and Jaskier is torn. On the one hand, he wants Geralt to be back to normal, but on the other- he's selfish and he wants Geralt like this. He wants so badly to have anything and- no. No, he can't.

Shani leaves them shortly after assuring Jaskier that it will be alright, that Geralt will be fine. He wishes these were better circumstances, that they had come to visit Shani instead of asking for her help, but she waves him off with a smile.

"Come and visit when things are back to normal," she says, "I'll see you in the morning."

Jaskier sees her off and then returns to the room to find Geralt sitting on the edge of the bed, contemplating. He's still shirtless and Jaskier finds it hard to look at him directly. He sits in the bed next to him, hands folded in his lap.

"Well," Geralt says, "we have the night. Things will be different after I get my memory back, right?" He turns, reaching out to cup Jaskier's cheek. "Be with me tonight," he breathes, "just for tonight, let me take care of you while I have the chance."

Jaskier huffs a humourless laugh. "That's the problem, you always have the chance, but you never want to take it."

"Then let me now," he hums and his hand falls to Jaskier's thigh.

And it's so tempting. Because Geralt is right here offering everything he's ever wanted, if only for a night. But this is not the Geralt he fell in love with. This is not truly his Geralt's consent. When Jaskier looks up, it's obvious that Geralt knows his answer before he even speaks.

"I'm an idiot," he says softly, "to not jump at the chance to be with you. If I don't remember tomorrow, I want you to know you're important to me." Jaskier nods weakly, but he can't find the words. "Maybe we should turn in early? We have a long day tomorrow, I think."

Jaskier nods and he lets Geralt pull him down to the bed and tonight, he lets himself be held, curls into Geralt's hold and presses his nose into his neck. He doesn't let himself think, just buries himself in Geralt's scent, so warm and familiar and shuts off his mind.

Jaskier awakes to a knock on the door and realizes he's still in his clothes from yesterday. Geralt answers the door to Shani and Marilla, and Jaskier is only just climbing out of bed when they come into the room. He gets a look from Shani, but if she's feeling any particular kind of way about finding him in Geralt's bed, she doesn't say anything.

The actual process doesn't take any time at all. Marilla comes in and does something to Geralt, what she does is unclear but he falls unconscious and Jaskier panics at first, but Shani holds him back.

"Sorry," she says, "I should have warned you."

Jaskier does his best to make Geralt comfortable in the bed and he leaves with the two women to let him sleep. He thanks Marilla desperately and asks her to stay until he wakes, but she tells him she has other business to attend to and after dipping down to kiss Shani briefly, she disappears down the stairs.

"Friend, huh?" Jaskier asks and Shani smiles at him.

"Don't try to change the subject."

"Actually, can I ask you about something?"

"Of course. Why don't we get a drink, he could be out for a couple of hours."

They head down to the common area and Shani orders them a pair of drinks while Jaskier finds a table out of the way. He's never understood why Geralt likes corner tables, but right now he gets it. He doesn't want anyone to talk to him and he just wants to be able to sit and drink with Shani.

When she returns, she slides his drink across to him and slips into her seat.

"What did you want to ask about?"

"Uh," Jaskier starts, turning his mug in his hands, "when I first took Geralt back to our room, just after he was hurt. He tried to kiss me. He… thought I was bringing him back there to fuck him."

"Oh."

"You don't sound surprised."

"I'm not, really. I'm surprised he acted on it, but-"

"What does that mean?"

"Geralt doesn't have any brain damage," Shani explains, "something just… got knocked loose, so to speak. He was still him, Jaskier. His thoughts, his feelings? That was all him, Jask."

"You're telling me-" abruptly, the memory of Geralt telling him he loved him comes back to him and his mouth goes dry. "You're telling me that was just him?"

"Mmhm. Without all the baggage and self-loathing."

"I don't- he can't- if he wanted me that way, I would know."

"Would you?" Shani asks, "because I think you would be the last person to know. Wait till he wakes up, talk to him."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Shani, for this and for everything."

"Happy to help."

They finish their drinks and Shani heads home. Jaskier thanks her again and promises to visit when things are better and waits until she's gone before heading back up to Geralt's room.

The first thing Geralt knows when he wakes up, is a pain in his head. He blinks awake to find himself in a bed in a nondescript inn. A better look around finds Jaskier asleep in a chair next to him, but he stirs as Geralt sits up and then he's scrambling to pass Geralt a mug of water.

He feels woozy, but Jaskier's presence soothes him; he knows from experience that Jaskier would never let anything happen to him and is willing to risk his own health and safety to assure it. There's no one else he'd rather see upon waking. But he doesn't remember falling asleep. The last thing he remembers is taking a hit and stumbling away from the scene.

"Geralt?" Jaskier asks gently. He looks up and the first thing he notices when he looks at Jaskier is how sad he is. The emotion wafts off of him, but Geralt doesn't need his heightened sense of smell to be able to tell.

"What's wrong?" he mumbles, his voice thick.

"Tell me what you remember. From the start."

Geralt thinks back, going through the events of the hunt, none of which are very interesting until he was thrown into a tree. Water hag, he remembers, chucked mud and blinded him. Then he's stumbling away, all three monsters dead and then- fuck.

His gaze snaps up to Jaskier's face, looking for any sign of recognition, but he remains eerily calm, even as Geralt recollects kissing him, pressing him up against a wall and- fuck, what was he thinking? The more he thinks about it, the more comes back to him, but in bits and pieces.

Kissing him, touching him, pressing up against him in bed. The memories are all foggy, scattered, but they feel too real to have been a dream. But Jaskier shows no signs of being assaulted by him.

"I'm-" he starts, but sorry doesn't feel like it's enough. Jaskier is open with his affections, but he wouldn't be okay with that.

Geralt tries to push himself up, to get out of bed and away from Jaskier because he can't stand the thought of doing something like that. He can't remember why he did, but the more he thinks about it, the more real it feels.

"Geralt," Jaskier says firmly, "I'm not mad. But I think we need to talk if you're up for it."

He doesn't want to talk to Jaskier. He would rather find out from someone else, he can't bear to hear the words from Jaskier. And he knows Shani was there. Shani and another woman who he didn't recognize.

"Where's Shani?" he asks.

"She's gone home, darling. Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?"

Geralt looks up at him and he feels hopeless. Jaskier is exhausted, he can see the bags under his eyes, the dark circles. And he doesn't seem any less sad than he did initially. It doesn't take much to realize what happened.

"I'm sorry," Geralt mumbles, "about what I did- when I kissed you, I-"

Jaskier stops, already halfway toward the door and sighs deeply, stopping in his tracks before turning around.

"Okay," he says, "we're talking about this now, then." He comes back and seats himself on the end of the bed, facing him. "Tell me exactly what you remember, Geralt."

"I remember taking the contract, fighting off the drowners - and a water hag - got mud in my eyes, stumbled and something hit me, threw me into a tree. Probably one of the drowners pushed me. I took them out, started back toward town but I must have passed out, the next thing I remember is-"

"Me."

"Yeah. You took me back to our room, I thought you were- I thought you wanted sex."

"I know, you were fairly adamant about that."

"Fuck. Jaskier I'm sorry-"

"You didn't know who I was. If a handsome stranger took me back to his room, I'd think the same. When you didn't know who I was I was… terrified. I didn't know if I'd get you back." They're both silent for a moment and then Jaskier prompts him to continue.

"I remember that. I remember talking to you," he lowers his eyes, "I told you I loved you, I don't know why." Immediately Jaskier's sadness intensifies and he catches it in the twitch of his lip, the way he glances away.

"You asked if I was in love with you," Jaskier explains, "and told me you loved me. What else do you remember?"

"I remember asking you to- suggesting we- I propositioned you. And I remember being in bed- Jaskier, did we-?" He can't imagine anything worse than sleeping with Jaskier while he's not himself, than having the chance to be with him and not truly being present in the moment.

Because he certainly won't have another chance, especially not now that he's gone and muddled things up.

"No," Jaskier confirms and for the first time a small smile tugs at his lips, "not that you didn't try. But It didn't feel right. I knew when you had your memories back, you'd hate me for it and I couldn't-"

"I could never hate you," Geralt interrupts, "if anything I'd hate myself for pushing you into it."

"No," Jaskier says, shaking his head, "Geralt you don't understand. I wanted to. I wanted so badly to just say yes last night when you asked me. I tried to work it around in some way that you wouldn't hate me for taking advantage, but every time I just feel terrible to even think about it. The reason I didn't sleep with you is because I couldn't bear the thought of fucking you when it wasn't really you. Because I didn't want him, even if he was you. I wanted- I want this you."

"You do," Geralt snorts, "someone who throws himself at his friend because he doesn't remember, someone who tells him he loves him unprompted-"

"Do you think," Jaskier suggests, and it's clear by the look on his face that he's considering his words very carefully. "That maybe what you said to me and what you did- what you offered," he corrects quickly, "was because you do have feelings for me?" His voice shakes just faintly and Geralt can smell the anxiousness coming off of him.

It's cloying, overwhelming and it mingles with the scent of sadness and fear and just the faintest hint of something hopeful.

"It's just that Shani said there was nothing wrong with your mind, it was still you in there when you asked, when you said that." Jaskier looks up at him and Geralt feels years of emotion welling up inside him and he doesn't know how to hold it back any longer, not what Jaskier is asking him outright.

"Jaskier, I-" he takes a deep breath, focuses on a mark on the blanket between them. "I don't remember everything. But I did mean what I said. I do… I love you," he whispers, "I didn't want you to think less of me or," he glances up and Jaskier's eyes are shiny like he's trying not to cry. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out like this."

"I'm not sad," Jaskier says, "Geralt, I have been following you around for half my life, caring for you, singing about you and you didn't think for maybe a moment that I could love you back?"

"You-" Geralt stumbles over his words as Jaskier's confession sinks in. "You sleep with everyone. Everyone but-"

"You don't even call me friend, Geralt. Why would I try and take you to bed with me thinking you don't care enough to call me your friend?"

"Oh."

"Oh? You didn't consider that?"

"You're not my friend," Geralt says, by way of explanation, "but you're not a lover, either. You're not a brother. Not a comrade. I don't know what you are."

"Oh."

"But you could be… a lover?" the word feels strangely heavy in his mouth and he nearly regrets saying it at all until he sees the way Jaskier's eyes light up. A smile tugs at Geralt's lips and he leans forward, reaching out to take Jaskier's hand, tentatively turning it over.

"Jaskier," he whispers, "can I kiss you?" A wide grin spreads across his face and Jaskier tips forward toward him.

"Darling, I thought you'd never ask."

#geraskier #memory loss #200 fic celebration #no.1 #the witcher #rex writes

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avewritesmr · 3 years ago

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Can you do where GOT7 has a boyfriend who is too tall (2.00cm or 6ft5)?

Reaction to their boyfriend being very tall (2.00m/6ft5)

A/N: I picked 3 members at random again, I really love writing for GOT7 this has been the most enjoyable thing I’ve written since I got back to writing now that school is finished, I hope you like this, it took forever and is a little on the shorter side so I’m sorry 💖

Mark Tuan

Mark doesn't quite meet the ideal height for men (the fact that such a thing exists is just 😔), he falls about 10 centimeters short and has been on the shorter side (by a couple centimeters) in a few friend groups or large gatherings with people.

To make up for his (slight) lack of height Mark has amazing posture (he honestly does have really good posture and I am very jealous of him for it) so people very rarely comment on his height.

Like Jaebum height isn't something he notices most of the time, he does notice y/n's height, only because of a comment made by Jinyoung about y/n's height during an award ceremony they are attending.

He notices y/n is tall, it's hard not to notice really, but he just doesn't bother with it, like who cares if this amazingly handsome man is freakishly tall? Definitely not Mark.

Mark is a confident man, he has no trouble walking up to someone he deems attractive and striking up a conversation but backstage at an award show the whole process of walking up to someone to talk casually or introduce yourself becomes infinitely harder.

Mark doesn't end up talking to y/n that day, it leaves him a little bummed out and disappointed for the rest of the night.

Mark brushes it off and goes about the next few days of filming new years content and vlogs but sometimes he remembers and that he wanted to talk to y/n and is just a little sad.

A week latter he is filming with his members and they don't get back to the dorm till midnight, their manager, who is tasked with getting them food because they haven't eaten since lunch, calls to tell them he is stuck in a traffic jam and he might be an hour before he can get them the much desired food.

Among a cacophony of groaning and whining Mark, being the kind man he is, volunteers to go down the street to a convenience store to grab snacks and small sandwiches to tide everyone over.

As Mark walks out of the convenience store and into the dark street he collides into the back of a very tall male human being.

Mark wastes no time bowing down to apologies hitching his face mask just a little higher to avoid recognition.

When he rises again he comes face to face (more chest to face but you get what I mean) with the boy whose smile he has been dreaming about for the last week.

"I am so sorry I didn't mean to bump into you, I wasn't watching my way." y/n has his mask pulled down to his chin so Mark can see the blush adorning his cheeks.

Mark is gaping like a fish trying to remember how he is supposed to talk, "You're y/n...."

Mark can feel a blush creeping up his neck and his ears turning hot as he attempts to stutter out a sentences that doesn't make him sound like and idiot.

"Uhh.... I mean, I'm Mark.... from, like GOT7."

Realization dawns on y/n's face and the younger is immediately bowing 90 degrees and apologizing for being disrespectful.

Mark rushes to tell him it's okay and tell him that there is no need for honorifics.

Turns out they're heading the same way so they end up walking together, Mark laughs a lot during their conversation and y/n blushes a lot.

They exchange numbers before they split up and that is how they end up texting basically everyday.

They don't get to meet up at all because they're both very busy but after award show season their schedules are freer and they have more time so they go out together and it is then that Mark begins noticing y/n's height.

At first y/n's height is nothing of importance to Mark, he has developed his relationship with y/n on a very emotional level and not physical level so y/n's physical apperance doesn't matter much to Mark.

But he'll notice y/n hunching his shoulders when they walk together sometimes or frowning a little when he reads a comment or someone points his height out.

Mark doesn't say anything at first, he doesn't want to make y/n uncomfortable at all so he comes up with subtle ways to tell him that he likes how tall y/n is.

For example when their sitting together Mark will put his head on y/n's shoulder and make a small comment about how their heights work out perfectly together.

If he sees a couple in a drama with a height difference he'll point out how cute the height difference is making a vague comment about how that resembels them.

Sometimes Mark will massage y/n's shoulders when he notices their hunched in y/n's attempts to look a little shorter.

Mark glares at people when they bring up y/n's height and the other becomes obviously uncomfortable.

He is just over all very supportive and caring but very subtle with his support and attempts to help.

And when the day comes that y/n makes a positive comment about his own height or he won't hunch his shoulders while their walking together Mark will just beam up at him and make a joke about how his good posture has rubbed off on y/n.

A very wholesome couple, Mark silently reassures y/n that his height is amazing and y/n always gets snacks off the highest shelf for Mark.

Lim Jaebum(JB)

(Sorry this turned out a little short but I just felt like everything I wanted to express was expressed better in this short list of points than a whole scenario like I normally do)

Jaebum is tall, Yugyeom only has an inch and half on him and he's the second tallest in the group.

He has never really paid attention to height, it just never truly mattered to him how tall he was (he refuses to acknowledge the slight fear he had during 7th grade when most of his friends had grown like a foot and he didn't but thank god for delayed growth spurts).

He doesn't care about people's height, like he just doesn't think about it.

Of course when he started dating y/n he noticed the other was extremely tall, between people commenting on it and just his own observations he could tell y/n was close to 6'5".

Did he ever ask about y/n's height? No, because quite frankly he doesn't care.

Whether y/n had been taller or shorter it wouldn't have really changed their dynamic together at all.

Height just isn't a determining factor in their relationship and Jaebum makes it a point to shut down (obnoxious) people who find it necessary to comment on their height difference or just y/n's height in general.

Besides sometimes y/n's height comes in really useful, like some day's Jaebum just doesn't want to climb up on a chair to dust over the counters and y/n can just complete the task without needing to get on a chair. It is a mutually beneficial relationship, Jaebum now has dust-less counters and y/n got some exercise out of the experience.

Just because Jaebum doesn't care about someone's height doesn't mean other people don't and Jaebum is fully aware of that.

Being the leader of his group Jaebum has heard both Yugyeom's worries about being too tall and Jackson's worries about not being tall enough so he has (a little) experience with trying to reassure people over height insecurities.

He doesn't really notice his boyfriends insecurity (if he has any), he notices that sometimes when he stands next to y/n, the other hunches his shoulders and back to appear shorter.

Other times y/n will look dejected if someone tells him he's too tall.

Usually just a reassuring hug does the trick, just a reminder from Jaebum to y/n that Jaebum himself doesn't care, what other people say doesn't matter, straighten your back and let the short people be jealous.

Jaebum is the only person in the world who can convey all that with a simple hug but that is a story for another day.

Kim Yugyeom

Yugyeom is the tallest member in the his group and he’s struggled with comments about his height and feeling a little out of place because he is taller than his members.

Being the youngest in the group makes the fact that he towers over the other members a little hard as well, he feels awkward when it comes to affection and being babied or pampered because he is just taller than the older members and even though he appreciates all the attention he feels like he doesn't quite deserve it.

Now having a taller boyfriend is one of the best things Yugyeom could have ever asked for.

Of course height isn’t the deciding factor in the relationship and Yugyeom loves his boyfriend for lots of reasons other than the fact that he is taller, but, the height difference is definitely a plus in Yugyeom’s opinion.

Basically Yugyeom loves having someone taller than him to baby him because he feels less like an impostor when the personal is physically taller than him.

He loves being hugged tightly and being the little spoon and being held against a chest and he likes y/n’s chin resting on his head.

Yugyeom loves feeling smaller than someone.

Like he just likes the idea of someone who can physically take care of him and protect him especially since he doesn’t get to experience that often, all his members try really hard though and he appreciates their effort.

He loves it when his boyfriend rests his chin on his shoulder or head and wraps his arms around him and pulls him into his chest.

Having been criticized for his height before as well he also recognizes when his boyfriend is struggling with being comfortable with his height especially when other people won’t stop bringing it up.

In these situations it's Yugyeom to the rescue, he just reassures y/n that all is good, comforts him or massages his shoulders to try and get him to silently relax and unhunch his shoulders.

The same applies for Yugyeom, on days when there seems to be more comments about his physical apperance y/n will notice the slight discomfort in the way he walks and the way he tries to make himself look shorter and step up to reassure him that it doesn't matter.

"Being tall is a huge advantage, people who don't like your height are just jealous they can't reach the top shelves at a store." "Yeah, true, Jackson hyung gets angry over that sometimes." Yugyeom replies with a smile.

"See, your height is amazing, not only can you reach all the top shelves but your still short enough for me to use you as a head rest."

Yugyeom pouts and shoves the other man away from, "Hey, not my fault you stopped drinking milk and lost those 5 inches on me."

Even both Yugyeom and y/n sometimes have trouble being the tallest people in a room they learn to come to terms and appreciate their heights and help each other feel comfortable in situations that were previously uncomfortable.

Yugyeom has the added benefit of being able to laugh whenever y/n hits his head against a particularly low hanging lamp or short door frame.

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bxtchforstyles · 4 years ago

Text

‘Tis the Damn Season

Harry Styles x high school ex!Y/N

Y/N comes home from college back to her hometown for the first time in almost two years for the holidays where Harry, her ex boyfriend still lives. She didn’t know how much he missed her, but turns out, the feeling was mutual.

Warning: none

Word count: ~2.5k

gif not mine.

The winter wind brushed roughly against Y/N’s face as she walked out of the airport and into the open air of her hometown. She had decided to come home for her winter break, to spend time with her family during the holiday season.

Shockingly enough though, she was not excited to be home. She had left almost two years ago to college, and didn’t have any plans of ever returning.

But the girl loved her parents, and when they so graciously begged her to come home and enjoy Christmas with them, she couldn’t exactly find it in her to say no.

This town held many bad memories for her, she spent her high school working her ass off to get into college instead of enjoying it like she should have, she had friends that she never really cared about having. But the worst part of this town was Harry.

For as long as Y/N could remember, the only thing she ever wanted to take away from living in this tiny, no good town, was Harry. They had planned everything out, they were both going to go to college somewhere in America, fleeting the tortuous city that they had known much too long.

But when Y/N had announced to Harry that she had received a scholarship from NYU, Harry wasn’t as excited as she thought he would be. That’s when he had told her that he would be staying in London to go to University.

That broke her heart.

Now that she was back for the holidays for the first time since she had last seen Harry, she had no plans of seeing him, it was for the better.

“Y/N!” Her mother called for her, jumping out of her car door to embrace her daughter in a warm hug. “Gosh, I missed you so much.”

“You just saw me a few weeks ago, mom.” Y/N laughed, wrapping her arms around her mother’s thin shoulders.

The reunion was sweet, just her mother and her as they drove back to Y/N’s childhood home. Her mother had let her know that her father was at home preparing their famous ‘Christmas Eve dinner’ Where all of their family friends came over to enjoy the festivities of Christmas together.

Y/N’s parents had almost been quite the hostess’, so it wasn’t really a surprise to her when she found out about the annual dinner, it was pretty much to be expected.

But what she didn’t expect to see when she had walked into the well known house, was the Styles family, sitting at the familiar dining table.

She had wanted to walk back outside right then and there, get back in the car, drive back to the airport, and go back to New York. It was hard enough for her to be here back at her childhood home, being reminded of everything she hated about being here, but now that Harry and his family had entered the equation, the only thing she could think about was going home.

Luckily for her mother’s sake, she kept her composure and smiled sweetly to the multiple families that sat around the table.

Y/N knew very well this was her mother’s doing, since she had always been the one rooting for Harry and Y/N to get back together again. It wasn’t fair for Y/N, having to sit at a miserable dinner just because her mom was mourning the loss of her daughter’s ex boyfriend.

“Mom,” Y/N looked towards where he mother was standing, interrupting whatever useless story her mother was telling. “Can I speak to you, please?”

She looked up at her with a smile, “Of course, what is it sweetie?” God, she hated that pet name.

“Alone. Please?”

“Oh…” She then trailed off, seeming to finally realize that her daughter was being quite serious. “Let’s go to the kitchen.”

As soon as the French doors to the concealed kitchen shut behind her mother, Y/N felt like a fuse inside her was bound to burst. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Y/N, I can explain.” Her mother already seemed to know what she was talking about by the guilty look on her face.

“Please, do explain why you decided to invite my ex boyfriend and his family to our family’s Christmas Eve dinner when you knew very well that I would be home.”

“You have to understand, the Styles family,”

Y/N cut her off, “My ex boyfriend’s family.” She utters under her breath,

“That's enough from you,” her mother seethes back. “Their family are very good friends of mine and your father’s, and we had no idea Harry would be coming with them.”

“Mom! Why even are you good friends with Harry’s family?”

“Y/N, your relations with Harry has nothing to do with our relations with his parents, whether you think Harry’s a good person or not, his parents are.”

“Harry is a good person! That’s the problem!”

Her mother’s eyes widened in shock, “How is that a problem?”

“Because if I have to sit at dinner with they guy that still is civil with me, and is still nice to me even after I left him in the fucking dust, then I’m going to want to stay here! And I can’t stay here!” Y/N’s voice was rising as the tears began to well in her eyes.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.” When Y/N heard the familiar voice, she looked towards the door to see the person who had walked through the door.

Standing in the kitchen, quietly turning to shut the French doors behind her, was Harry’s mom, Anne.

That’s when Y/N realized exactly when Anne came in the kitchen. It was because she could most likely hear Y/N and her mother’s entire conversation, which meant everyone else did too.

But Anne didn’t say anything about the comments made about her son, only walking quickly up to Y/n and wrapping her in a hug. This only made the tears in Y/N’s eyes fall quickly as she sunk into the motherly embrace.

“You know, he still loves you, I see it in his face anytime we bring you up.” Anna whispered to Y/N, making her a sobbing mess.

“Y-you guys still talk about me?” Was the first ridiculous question that came to mind.

“Are you joking? Of course we do, when we heard that you had applied for medical school to try and become a doctor we were so proud of you, couldn’t stop talking about it for weeks!” Y/N smiled at her excitement, “And Harry isn’t the only one who misses you, we all do. You were a part of our family, dear.”

The girl sighed, “I wish it could have been easier.”

“Don’t worry about that, now let’s go upstairs and get you cleaned up for dinner, I promise that foolish son of mine won’t say a word.” She smirks, pulling Y/N along with her out of the kitchen and upstairs towards the bathroom.

------

Thankfully for Y/N, the dinner wasn’t as awkward as she thought it was going to be. It had already been over an hour of all of the guests sitting around the table, and it was almost time for dessert.

“So, Y/N, what kind of doctor are you planning on becoming?” One of the ladies who was friends with her mother asked, making everyone else look towards Y/N.

“Oh, Yeah! I heard you got into med school!”

“Aw, congratulations!”

Everyone continued to talk about her accomplishments and congratulate her before she had even gotten a change to respond.

After the conversation died down a bit, she finally took her opportunity. “Well, I really love kids so I would love to do something with pediatrics, but I haven’t even gotten to my clinicals yet, so I'm not one hundred percent sure yet.”

Everyone was intently listening to her as she continued to talk about what she was planning on doing once she was out of school, and everyone was obviously very excited for her. All of the attention was on Y/N though, which was not something she genuinely liked, everyone asking her questions while gawking at how smart she seemed.

It was difficult for Y/N to continue dessert after all of the talk about her going to medical school, mostly because she could only notice one thing among the people around the table.

and that was the fact that Harry never looked up from his plate during the entire time people were talking about her, and she wanted to know why. Could he seriously not even look up and smile at her to acknowledge that he was somewhat proud of what she had done over the past year and a half?

She quickly scrapped her plate into the large sink of the kitchen before opening the glass doors that led from the kitchen and into the backyard garden. Y/N always liked to walk around her when she was in high school whenever she needed to think, and there was even a wooden swing hanging from a tree that she used to do a lot of her studying while sitting on.

“What are you doing back here?” The all too familiar voice threw her off balance when she whipped her head around to see Harry standing directly behind her.

She stumbled slightly before quickly regaining her balance as she stood in front of her high school boyfriend. “I mean, this is my house, so I should be asking you that.”

“I had a feeling this is where I’d find you.” Harry sat on the swing before using his hand to motion for her to sit next to her, she didn’t know why she did, but she did.

“So then why’d you ask why I was back here if you knew this is where I would be?” She questioned with a confused face.

He smiled at her lightly, “I said I knew you’d be here, not that I knew why you’d be here.” That answer didn’t really satisfy her, but she didn’t care.

“Look, I know that you don’t want me here, but I wanted you to know that I miss you, a lot. And I told myself I’d never wait for you, because I had a pretty strong feeling that you would never be coming back. But now that you’re back in our hometown, standing in front of me, screaming about me in the middle of your kitchen, I knew that I was subconsciously waiting for you.”

At the moment Y/N definitely wanted to stop and say ‘wait, you heard that?’ But she already knew that he did. So instead all she could do was wait for him to begin speaking again, since she was much too shocked to speak for herself in that moment.

It took Harry a while to speak up again too, making her quite nervous for what he could possibly have to say next.

“You know I love you a lot, right?” He looked towards her, her eyes already widening at his confession. “I always did when we were together, and I never really stopped, even after you left.”

“I-” Y/N cut herself off with her own laughter, “This is definitely not how I was expecting tonight to go.”

Then Harry started laughing with her, and before they knew it, they were both sitting on the old wooden swing, back like when they were in high school, making jokes and laughing over old memories.

“I need to know that you won’t leave me again.”

It was sudden, much too sudden for Y/N to even comprehend what he had said. “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Y/N.” It was true, she did already know exactly what he was talking about, “Things were good between us, we were so happy together. But then you left, and I’ve never been the same.”

“Harry,” her tone was warningly. “Don’t go trying to blame what happened to us on me leaving.”

“What am I supposed to blame it on then, Y/N? I thought you were the only one for me, I thought we were going to last forever. The only thing that changed that was you leaving to go to America.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, “What do you think now?”

“You’re the only one that I could ever think about loving!” He didn’t act like it was supposed to be a surprise to her, because it wasn’t. “And I want you to stay, for us. I want you to stay here.”

“You know I can’t do that-”

“And why can’t you?” Harry’s questions were being asked quickly.

“Because I have nothing left here anymore, Harry!” She finally yelled, “I moved everything good about this shitty town with me when I left to New York, so no Harry, I am not going to stay here any longer than I half too.”

“........”

Tears began to well in her eyes, “I’m sorry that I left you, I know that I hurt you, I see that now. So whatever I can do to make us even, I’ll do it. Just tell me what it is that you want from me, that doesn’t involve me staying in this shitty town longer than this weekend.”

The sigh that left Harry’s lips was an accurate representation of how he was feeling right then. He knew he wasn’t going to win with Y/N, she was stubborn and wanted her left to stay the same as it was right now. She didn’t feel any sudden urgency to move back to London, but he wished that she did.

“Be mine for the weekend then.” He stated after a moment. “Like you were back in high school, let me see if I can change your mind by the end of the weekend, and if I can’t, you can leave. You can go back to New York and pretend that this weekend never happened.

“Fine.” She nodded affirmatively, “Call us even, I’ll be yours for the weekend.”

His facial expression said it all, and Y/N could basically feel the excitement radiating off of him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

Then she added, “I still love you too, by the way.”

“And why are you just now saying this?”

They both were smiling at each other at this point, making the night feel much shorter by the minute. She shrugged in response to his previous question though.

“‘Tis the damn season, right?”

#Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #high school!harry #harry styles #harry styles blog #harry styles blurb #harry styles x ofc #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #solo harry

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elizabeth-mitchells · 3 years ago

Link

follow you to the beginning (just to relive the start) - Sam/Deena - Fake Dating AU

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Deena Johnson, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Deena Johnson, Samantha "Sam" Fraser/Peter (Fear Street Part 1: 1994), Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Simon Kalivoda, Samantha "Sam" Fraser & Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Deena Johnson & Kate Schmidt, Deena Johnson & Simon Kalivoda, Minor or Background Relationship(s) Characters: Deena Johnson, Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Kate Schmidt (Fear Street), Simon Kalivoda, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Peter (Fear Street Part 1: 1994), Background & Cameo Characters Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon Lesbian Character, Slow Burn, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Best Friends, High School, Angst, Humor, Fluff, First Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Enemies, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Sam and Deena are next-door neighbors, and they inevitably and enthusiastically become best friends... until childhood gives way to tragedy, grudges, and regret.

By the time they make it to high school, Sam and Deena are still next-door neighbors but also sworn enemies... until high school introduces bigger threats that they will need to face together.

Faking a relationship might be a bad idea. But it might be the only way for Sam and Deena to understand their shared past and their feelings for each other.

Chapter 1:

Sam and Deena became best friends during one perfect summer day when they were seven years old. In Shadyside, however, perfect days weren’t meant to exist. The only reason little Sam Fraser finally had the time and freedom to spend time with her next-door neighbor was because her parents were caught in the first big fight of hundreds more to come. A part of Sam would associate both events as one and the same for a long, long time. The beginning of her friendship with Deena and the downfall of the Fraser family. In contrast, Deena was living some of the best days of her life. Days that she would treasure and idolize, perhaps more than she should have, for many years to come. Her mother was alive, her father was sober, her little brother was safe in their hands. She had all the time in the world to go out into the backyard, lay on the ground, and look for shapes in the clouds. She had been doing that for a while then a shadow suddenly appeared over her.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked. Her voice was still trembling slightly from the way she had run out of her house crying. Her eyes were red and she had a runny nose, but she looked genuinely curious to understand what her neighbor was doing.

Deena didn’t reply at first. She couldn’t. She was too shaken by the impact of Sam’s first impression on her. It wasn’t the very first time they met, of course. But their parents were usually hovering above them. So far they had never been alone together. They were very different kids, it was easy to tell with just one look. Not just physically, with Deena’s wild mane of curly brown hair and Sam’s being straight and blond, Deena’s brown eyes being warm and guarded meanwhile Sam’s blue eyes cried out her every emotion. It was also about the way Deena was thrown on the grass, comfortable and taking as much space as possible in her slightly oversized clothes that she picked herself, as long as they were in sale, while her mother fondly chuckled and followed her around the store in spite of which gendered aisle her daughter got lost in. Sam was the complete opposite, in her bright pink clothes that were always too loose or too tight because her mother didn’t care to bring her along when buying her clothes and it was made all the more noticeable by the way in which Sam stood tense and awkwardly, uncomfortable from head to toe, her feet restless as if ready to run at any given moment.

The silence between them had stretched out for too long, but Sam was good at waiting. Deena moved to a seated position and took a better look at the girl in front of her. “Fraser,” she blurted out. She couldn’t remember her neighbor’s name, but she knew her parents were Mr. and Mrs. Fraser of the constant frowns.

“Um, Johnson?” Sam tilted her head. She didn’t understand this game of calling out each other’s last names.

“I’m Deena,” the brunette said and jumped to her feet, not bothering to brush away the grass stuck to her clothes.

“Sam,” the other girl offered her hand.

Deena laughed, but she was troubled. She wanted to laugh so much more. There was this weird girl in front of her, obviously a second away from bursting into tears again, probably from the weight of the glittery pink ribbon on her head, and she was offering Deena her hand in greeting. However, her laughter died in Deena’s throat. The instinct to tease was, for once, overpowered by something new and somewhat unfamiliar. She didn’t know it was protectiveness, she didn’t understand what it was at all. She only felt a pull on her heart that wanted to make sure her neighbor was okay.

So, Deena shook Sam’s hand. She invited her to lay down with her to watch shapes in the clouds. She didn’t laugh at Sam, she made it her mission to make Sam laugh. Unknowingly, with that innocent handshake, they were starting out together the greatest adventure of their lives, with all the glorious ups and devastating downs that it would include.

It was still early, they had the entire day ahead of them, and under the clear blue Shadyside sky, the world was all theirs.

They started lying down on the grass, side by side, looking up at the clouds. At first, it was perfect, and fun. Sam’s stomach started aching from how hard she was laughing every time Deena pointed out at the sky and said “That one looks like a butt.” And then Sam would point at a completely unidentifiable cloud and say, “That one looks like a robot.”

“What?!” Deena laughed wholeheartedly. “No, it doesn’t! You weirdo.”

Sam’s laughter dimmed. “Do you think I’m weird?”

“No!” Deena scoffed. “Isn’t that like a compliment?”

The blonde hummed in response. She hadn’t considered that the other girl was just as inexperienced at talking to other girls her age.

For a moment, there was silence between them. Enough silence for Sam to remember the deafening noise of her parents fighting, blaming each other, blaming her, blaming the town. Before she could stop it, Sam was crying again.

“Sam?” Deena called her name. She moved to a seated position and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder gently. “I’m sorry. I really don’t think you’re that weird.”

“That weird?” Sam chuckled through her tears.

Deena laughed along with her, but she still looked out of her comfort zone dealing with her crying neighbor. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“I’m okay,” Sam wiped her tears away, willing herself to regain her composure as her mother always told her to do. “I just… cry a lot. My dad says it’s because my mom doesn’t have feelings and I have to cry for the both of us.”

“Okay,” Deena nodded, not knowing how to put into words how wrong that sounded. Then she noticed a single blade of grass stuck to Sam’s pretty blonde hair. “Hold on Sam, you have grass on your head,” Deena said, and reached out to take it off.

However, Deena’s hand on her hair made an idea light up in Sam’s mind. She gasped and grabbed Deena’s wrist, holding her in place. “We should make flower crowns!”

“What?!”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to do it,” Sam smiled teasingly.

“Of course I do!” Deena scoffed. She was happy to see Sam smile, but she was second-guessing her previous statement about the blonde not being weird. Plus, it turned out not even Sam knew how to make flower crowns. It wasn’t as easy as it seemed.

The two girls ended up hiding behind flower bushes between their homes. Sam had entertained herself weaving the prettiest flowers she could find in Deena’s curls. Meanwhile, Deena was content pulling blades of grass and unceremoniously letting them fall on Sam’s head. Deena couldn’t understand how Sam could be unbothered by the game. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Sam didn’t have many friends. In fact, not too long later, Sam whispered, “You’re my first real friend.”

Deena beamed upon hearing the words. She was happy with her parents and baby brother but, secretly, she had always wished for a friend, a girl like her, and here she was, finally. “You’re my only friend too,” Deena replied, a little shyly.

“Really?” Sam’s eyes widened.

“Yeah,” Deena chuckled.

The blonde hummed thoughtfully. “I think that makes us best friends,” Sam said.

“Oh yeah?” Deena asked. She received a confident nod in response. That made sense to her too. “Then we should celebrate.” She jumped to her feet and offered her hand to Sam, who didn’t hesitate to follow.

The day was long, and there was so much they were dying to show each other. The hours passed by in a sun-bathed blur of childish laughter. They did everything and nothing, jumping without reason, running without destination, rolling in the grass, picking flowers, climbing trees, scratching their knees, and jumping back up into made-up games and fantasy scenarios that they hadn’t ever had a chance to share with anybody.

There were a thousand little moments that years later they would wish they could have immortalized some way. When Deena showed Sam a spider and Sam ran away. When Deena hurt her finger with a thorn from Sam’s mother’s rose bushes, and Sam kissed the afflicted finger and promised she wouldn’t tell anybody Deena cried.

When Deena started climbing the tree at the back of the backyard, Sam started freaking out. “Deena! You’ll hurt yourself!” Sam repeated many times. Deena was thinking Sam sounded older than she really was when she was worried.

“I won’t,” the blonde scoffed, getting comfortable in what actually was a really low branch of the tree. “Besides, if I fall you can catch me!”

“I can try!” Sam said, throwing her arms around her. “But you’ll probably crush me and then we’ll both be dead!”

“Hey! I’m not that heavy!”

Deena’s protest, unfortunately, made her lose her balance. For a moment, she was hanging from the branch of the tree, feeling her heart on her throat. But then Sam’s slender arms were holding on to her legs, as tightly as the little girl was capable of. Deena smiled brightly. She felt surprisingly safe, even if she knew that Sam wasn’t strong enough to literally hold her up. “Sam, let go, it’s okay, I got it,” Deena let her know.

Sam stepped back to let Deena land on her feet, but a second later she was back, wrapping her arms around Deena’s torso this time, holding just as tightly if not more. “You scared me,” Sam mumbled, her voice muffled by the way she had her face pressed against Deena’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Deena said. She let her arms fall limply at her sides. She still felt out of her depth with Sam, even after one of the best days of her life. Her instinct told her to make fun of Sam, who was moved near to tears. But her heart stopped her for unknown reasons. Instead, she let her cheek rest on top of Sam’s head. At the time, Deena was taller. “It’s okay,” Deena repeated. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m your best friend, remember? I don’t think I’m allowed to leave you now.”

Sam chuckled and finally dropped her arms. Deena felt a chill at the loss. “Do you promise?” Sam asked.

Deena frowned a little, but continued to smile. “I promise,” she said, finding it increasingly difficult to say not the blonde girl that had stumbled into her personal space earlier that day with tears still in her eyes.

“Okay,” Sam exclaimed. She leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on Deena’s cheek. She was so excited it nearly threw both of them off balance, and when she pulled back, they were both blushing. But they moved on quickly, that day. Sam took Deena’s hand and started leading her to a different spot in the wide and free space behind their houses. “My mom told me about a spa. It’s a place where they put mud in your face to make you pretty. We should try it.”

“I’m already pretty!” Deena protested.

“Yeah, you are,” Sam shrugged. “But maybe it can help me.”

“You are more than pretty, Sam,” Deena frowned.

That made the blonde girl stop in her tracks. “Do you think so?” She asked Deena, and the brunette nodded enthusiastically. Sam was thoughtful for a moment, but eventually shrugged, and tried to continue with her plans, clearly not completely believing the other girl’s words. She was stopped by Deena a moment later, refusing to go further.

“Hey, you didn’t make the promise too,” Deena pointed out.

“Oh! You’re right,” Sam nodded, very seriously. “Okay then… I promise to always be your best friend, and to never leave you, and… um, is there something else?” She looked up at Deena for guidance.

Deena grinned at her. “No, that’s it. That’s cool.”

The two girls started laughing again, and continued with their games for a long time. They did end up playing with the mud, and then tried to wash it off, creating a bigger mess, with the hose they found behind Deena’s house.

Toward the end of the day, when the sun started to set, both girls were well aware that their parents would be coming out at any moment to call them back home. They chose to end their first day as best friends exactly how they started it. They lay on the grass in the backyard in between their houses, and they looked up at the infinite sky above them. There weren’t many clouds anymore, but the first stars were showing up in the sky, and they were more than happy to count them one by one.

That was how it started. One perfect day, and dozens of them just the same. Sam ran away from her house to the backyard every time her parents were having a fight. Deena made her laugh until Sam couldn’t remember crying for anything other reason than pure joy. Sam picked the prettiest flowers she could find and gave them to Deena, and hugged her especially tight every time Deena fell down from the tree she loved to climb. From the Johnsons’ window, Deena’s mom watched them fondly, happy that her daughter had a friend. From the Frasers’ window, Sam’s mom watched them with a frown on her face, upset about Sam ruining her clothes. But they never had reasons to stop them from having fun, they didn’t have any reason to put barriers between their daughters. And the two girls couldn’t imagine a world where they would be anything but the best of friends.

Much like everything in Shadyside, their perfect days would soon come to a bitter end but, even then, it wouldn’t be the end of Sam and Deena’s story.

#hello! please support and share and read and comment and i'll love u forever! <333 #it's my attempt at childhood friends to enemies to lovers via fake dating #fear street #sameena #sam x deena #deena x sam #sam fraser #deena johnson #fear street fanfic #fs #my fic

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honey-boyyoongi · 4 years ago

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La Vie en Rose

Part: 40/??

Jungkook x Yn

Y/N is just trying to survive school and her best friends. As well as the cutie from her tutoring group.

Warning: a few curse words; violence? there’s a couple of slaps; this is not beta read and the author doesn’t know what they’re doing :)

Word count: 2.5k (my longest yet)

Was this a good idea? Objectively, no. Y/n knew she shouldn’t speak with Yubin, but the burning curiosity was overwhelming. Why did she feel the need to ruin her friends' relationships? Why did she feel entitled to them? What does she gain from this? Does Yubin actually harbor feelings for Namjoon and Jungkook? Was Yubin taking forever, because she wants to make a dramatic entry? No, but right now Y/N is trying to calm herself down with silly thoughts.

Jiminie 12:44 pm

Y/n where are you?

She knows she should respond, but this is the one thing she wants to do on her own. Y/n spots Yubin, and motions towards her table. Yubin looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world, as she takes her seat. Which is a drastic difference between them. Y/n knows her eyes are puffy, her hair is not done, but she did enough to manage it, her nail polish is cracked from the constant picking, and she’s in her most comfortable clothes. Yubin looks likes she’s ready to go out for the day, hair immaculately done, falling gracefully down her shoulders. Makeup done to perfection, nails done without a single chip in them. Dress fitting her lovely figure and showing off her long legs.

“You’re probably wondering why I asked you to be here. I need to talk about your relationship with Jungkook.”

Yubin sighed, trying hard not to roll her eyes,” what exactly do you want to know?”

“When did your relationship start?”

“We started sleeping together before school started, we stopped for a bit, then one night he invited me over and we fucked. We slept together more frequently, then I found out you were a thing. I felt bad that he was lying to you, so I decided to tell the truth,” she explained with ease.

Y/n didn’t miss how vulgarly she pronounced ‘fucked’, like Yubin was trying to indifferently apply more salt to her wound.

“Did that stop before, or after you started sleeping with Namjoon?”

Yubin’s indifference almost cracked, almost. With practiced ease she replied,” I don’t know what you mean. I’ve never slept with Joonie, he’s one of my best friends.”

“But you slept with Jungkook… who’s your other best friend?”

Yubin was starting to get irritated, what did Y/n know? She couldn’t possibly understand the connection she, and the boys had,“Yes, Jungkook and I share a special bond. It was natural for us to go the next step.”

“Oh, really,” Y/n paused, pulled her phone out and unlocked it to her gallery,” if you didn’t sleep with Namjoon, then why does he have these pictures of the both of you?” Y/n slid through the pictures Namjoon was kind enough to send,” You look so happy together, it’s such a pity that it didn’t last.”

There in the palm of Y/n’s hand, were Yubin’s and Namjoon’s happy moments. Their dates in his dorm, the trips to the park, early mornings at the cafe, and the nights they spent together. Yubin was seething, how did she have those pictures? More importantly, who did she think she was questioning what she did with the people she loved.

“Why do you have those pictures?”

“Namjoon was kind enough to tell Jungkook about your relationship. They told me everything Yubin,” Y/n muttered. “Why did you lie?”

“You wouldn’t understand. We have a bond, ever since we were kids it’s always been the three of us. They promised it would always be us, then Namjoon started attracting girls, obviously I had to keep them away. Those girls weren’t good enough for him. Jungkook was always shy with people, I wasn’t worried until he got his first girlfriend senior year. They didn’t last long, I made sure of it,” Yubin explained. Y/n felt uneasy hearing her explain her motives with fondness. “I didn’t lie about sleeping with Jungkook, we shared our first time together, and Joonie had a lot of firsts with me. We’re meant to be, I’ve been trying to show them but they just can’t seem to get it. You showed up… and all of the sudden I wasn’t important. They didn’t tell me about you, they didn’t introduce you, Jungkook was blowing off plans. Namjoon rejected me, and so did Jungkook. All because some random little girl got involved in our friendship. Could you imagine if out of nowhere your best friends left you for some person they barely know?”

“Did you ever think that maybe you’re the issue Yubin,” Y/n hesitated,” I’ve been friends with Jimin, Yoongi, and Seokjin for years, obviously things change as we grow up. There was a time where I felt we were drifting apart, but that happens. I always encouraged healthy relationships, we always got along with each other’s different friends.”

“What do you know? Have you ever felt connected to someone to the point you’d do anything to stay with them? You don’t understand what I feel,” Yubin was starting to get frustrated. She didn’t need to explain herself to someone so insignificant, Yubin started to raise her voice,”Leave us alone, they are mine. They are my friends, they are going to be with me as long as I can keep them.”

“Where do you think she is?”

“I don’t know Jin, she hasn’t answered,” Jimin sighed.

“Do you think she’s ignoring us,” Yoongi asked.

“No, I don- guys it’s better if we look around and see if we can find her.”

Y/n had ignored all of their texts and calls, which was very odd. They all agreed to answer texts, even if it was short to let each other know they were still breathing. She was a big enforcer with this agreement, ever since Yoongi and Seokjin started getting busier with their 3rd year. They checked the park, the local bookstore, the library, and even texted Jennie to see if she knew where Y/n was. Jennie hadn’t seen Y/n since she left in the morning for breakfast with her girlfriends, but she’ll keep an eye for her since they were leaving the restaurant.

They were starting to get worried, Seokjin decided to text Jungkook as he was the last to talk to Y/n.

Seokjin 01:15

Have you seen Y/n?

Jungkook 01:16

Not since last night.

Why, did something happen?

Seokjin 01:20

We’ve been trying to reach her, but she’s been ignoring our calls and texts. Jennie hasn’t seen her since this morning and says she’s going to help look as well.

Jungkook 01:25

I’ll start looking for her too. I’ll let you know if I find her.

Just as Jimin was going to inform Yoongi and Seokjin to split, there at the corner of the cafe was Y/n speaking with Yubin. It didn’t take a genius to see the tension between them. He motioned towards them and Seokjin was visibly confused, “What’s y/n doing with Yubin?”

“Y/n is with Yubin?” All three made their way into the cafe, trying their hardest to be inconspicuous. They ordered small items, and slowly made way to a table opposite of them. So far everything looked calm. In Jimin’s opinion something in Yubin looked defensive and rigid.

Seokjin 01:30

We found her. She’s at the cafe with Yubin.

Seokjin found it a bit masochistic of his friend, to be here with the person who is saying they slept with their boyfriend. But knowing Y/n, this is probably a last ditch effort to find out what exactly is going on.

Seokjin sees Jungkook pass by, and flags him down. He makes hand motions to be inconspicuous and hopes he understands. The way Jungkook’s eyes widen at the sight of them, he immediately becomes hyper aware of his surroundings. Jungkook attempts to make himself as small as possible, and slithers on the sidelines. He sneaks up on the boys and tries to hide behind Seokjin and Yoongi. “Has anything happened?”

They all shake their head no and Jimin whispers,” They’ve been talking a little too calmly for the last 20 minutes. It’s a little worrying to be honest.”

They watch Y/N pull out her phone and show Yubin the screen. They immediately see a change in Yubin, her eased demeanor cracks looking at what Y/N shows her. “What do you think Y/N is showing Yubin?” Yoongi whispered. Jungkook has an idea of what it could be, “It might be the screenshots I showed Y/N.”

“Screenshots?” Seokjin asked

Jungkook nodded, “I meant it when I said I wasn’t anything with Yubin. I showed Y/N everything.”

Seokjin and Yoongi sighed in relief, Jimin was still hesitant. While he knows the history between them, that still doesn’t mean Jungkook was honest about their past relationship, if you could call it that. Taehyung had told Jimin not to be harsh with Jungkook. It’s not his fault Yubin was the way she was, and they’ve tried to call her out on her behavior without any success. Taehyung said while yes, Jungkook should have been honest about his past with Yubin, it wasn’t anything serious. They never had a relationship, and only had their first intimacy with each other based on mutual trust. Jimin didn’t want to budge.

“What do you know?” They all turn their attention to Yubin’s raised voice. “Should we do something?” Yoongi hissed. Jimin shook his and responded, “Only if they get a bit more aggressive.”

“Have you ever felt connected to someone to the point you’d do anything to stay with them? You don’t understand what I feel!”

Jungkook is starting to get nervous. Yubin has never been a physically violent person, verbally mean absolutely, but the way her hands are whitening at the sheer grip she has on the table says otherwise.

Seokjin has had his fair share of upset women in his life. Comes with the territory of being a T.A. and his mother’s friends trying to set him up with their children. All those instances could not have gotten him ready for this type of situation. Should Yubin lay a hand on Y/N he knows she’d defend herself, but if it got too out of hand he knows he’d have to step in as the oldest. He’s never had to get between Y/N and altercation and he hopes today isn’t that day.

“Leave us alone, they are mine. They are my friends, they are going to be with me as long as I can keep them.” Yubin abruptly stood up and sneered at Y/N. “Stay away from them.” In a split second Y/N’s head shifts to the side and a loud smack sounds through the cafe.

Instantly all four are out of their seats and go directly to their table. Before either of them could realize the guys were there a loud smack rang through once more. “Don’t you ever put your hands on me.”

Jungkook could see Yubin was absolutely seething. He and Yoongi pulled Y/N towards them along with her bag.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“We were looking for you because you hadn’t responded to our texts. We saw you were in here while we passed by and wanted to make sure you were okay.” Jimin responded.

“Well you found me and I’m going home.” Y/n tried rushing out. She could feel the stares of all the patrons. She grabs her bag from Yoongi and quickly makes her way out, ignoring the barista trying to check on her.

One by one the guys made their way out, each one apologizing to the baffled employees. Trying to make his way through, Jungkook is pulled back by Yubin. He pulls away, and rushes to catch up to the guys and Y/n. He can hear the quick clacking of Yubin trying to catch up to them. He wants, no he needs to speak with Y/n. He needs to make sure she’s okay.

“Y/-“

“Jungkook! Stop ignoring me!” Yubin screeches.

He keeps ignoring Yubin, and finally catches us to Y/n. Jimin looks behind him, and sees Yubin making her way towards them. Jimin motions his head towards her, “You have to get rid of her Jeon. If she gets close to us I’m going to go off on her.” Jimin pulls Y/n away from the commotion and whispers words of comfort.

Jungkook nods and turns to face Yubin. He decides to meet her halfway and instantly regrets it “Jungkook, stop walking away from me! Why do you keep ignoring me? I’ve been trying to talk to you and Joonie, but both of you don’t answer.” She crashes into him, and starts to breath heavily. “Did you see what she did to me? I was trying to talk to her, and she hit me!” she sobbed. She started to cling onto him more, and attempted to wrap his arms around her. “No, Yubin” he mumbled, “We’re done.”

“You’re done with her? Oh good, maybe you can talk with Joon, and we can get this situation figured out. Then may-“

“No,” he interrupts her, “Yubin, we’re done. Us being friends, I can’t do it anymore.” He gently gets her hands off his shirt, and pushes her away from him.

“What do you.. what do you mean done? We’ve been friends since kindergarten. We can’t stop being friends. What about Namjoon? Are you going to stop being his friend too?”

Jungkook shakes his head, “Joon is still my friend Yubin. I, we can’t be friends with you anymore. What you’re doing is not okay. It’s never been okay. Yes, the three of us have been friends for a long time, but you’re not who you used to be Binnie. I don’t know who you are anymore, and I don’t want to be friends with the person you are now.”

He could see Yubin go from heartbroken to completely livid. “Are you fucking kidding me!” she screamed “ I did this for you! For Namjoon!” She enunciated by slamming her fists to Jungkook’s chest. Yubin slowly started to sob heavily. She tried to explain her reasoning between her cries, but her words came out mumbled.

Jungkook didn’t know what to do. Should he help her calm down? Should he call one of her friends? Should he walk away? He decides to pull Yubin to the side, and wait for her to at least get back to breathing normally. He whispers to her how to control her breathing, and hopes that’s enough to calm her down. He waits a few more moments, and decides it’s time for him to leave.

As he starts to walk away Yubin pulls on his sleeve “Kookie please don’t leave.” For a tiny moment, Jungkook sees the Yubin he was friends with years ago. Jungkook removes Yubin’s hand from his shirt and starts the walk back to campus.

A/N: geez haven’t posted in a hot minute. Time passes by when you’re an adult lol. We’re almost to the end y’all! If you have any feedback pls let me know!

Tag list: @papamochiissad @smoljams @betysotelo18 @atomickokorox @xxxanimangxxx @icedoutmywristtitanic @lyndseygoregasmxo @beeeb05 @glossyrere @nanskidoodle

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binniedeactivated · 4 years ago

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➥ PAIRING || taehyun x beomgyu

➥ GENRE || soulmate au! , enemies to lovers!, fantasy fanfiction

➥ W/C | 10k+

➥ SYNOPSIS || in which the both of them were admitted to Halls of Brotherhood: University of Magic. They were soulmates. yet they hated each other. But the marks on their skin said otherwise.

→ soulmate au where the thoughts of their soulmate inscribe themselves on one another’s skin

➥ WARNINGS || profanity, slight violence, angst I think?, fluff, mutual pining, slow burn kinda?

a/n; okay guys, this is my first time writing fantasy fiction so pls forgive me if it isn’t good. I’ve been trying to write this genre for years but couldn’t get it right. @moonlit-lixie your ask inspired me to write a soulmate au 🤲🏿

“You promised me I’d go to a normal school. You promised that I wouldn’t have to practice any of that stuff”. beomgyu whines to his mother from the passenger seat. It was the middle of the night and his heart was pounding in annoyance. He takes a hefty glance out the window through his bifocals and loses himself in the fast paced scenery. He wished he could be one of them. You know. a part of nature. Like a tree, a flower on the side of the road or something. He would do almost anything to escape this.

“Gyu sometimes things just have to change”. She swiftly replies. her beautiful face was calm and sullen while her hands rested on the steering wheel. That was one thing beomgyu always envied about his mother. She was so full of serenity in the midst of anything. she was a brave woman in the dust of any type of chaos.

“I don’t want to dabble in that stuff ”.

beomgyu swallows the leftover spit trapped in the space around his tongue. Magic has done nothing for him in life and in his mind, it never will. Magic was a nuisance. Magic was unforgiving. Magic killed his father.

She sluggishly presses her foot on the break and the both of them lean forward a bit at the sudden halt. beomgyu peers out of the windshield loathing in nervousness. They arrived at the train station and to his luck the boys were still boarding. His mother unbuckles her seatbelt shortly and beomgyu could only take a dreadful gander at her in shock. He wondered how she could be so comfortable mindlessly sending her only child away to practice the very thing that did his family no good.

“Why do I have to go? What difference will I add to them?”.

“gyu what did I tell you about talking like that?”.

He bit his lips feeling a little sorry for himself. He could’ve backtracked but he didn’t. That’s how he felt about himself and he couldn’t help it. He was too puny to do much of anything. Puny, anxious and hot tempered. And without those thick round glasses he could barely see what was right in front of him.

She gets out of the vehicle and once she did that beomgyu realized there would be no further discussion in the matter. He pushes open the passenger side door and tugs his luggage with him. He stuffs a hand in his pocket while the wind tousles his lengthy, black hair across his forehead. It was cold as hell outside and he wished he could just go back home to his bed. His mother approaches the conductor, showing the piece of mail she’d gotten days prior about beomgyu’s admission. Although the wind was tossing his hair a great deal beomgyu could still make out the sight of the conductor nodding in confirmation, gesturing him over. His mother awaited him at the entrance of the train to which he approached her with hesitance. Almost as if he were waiting for her to stop him in his tracks and admit this was all a prank. Or shake him vigorously, admitting this was just a dream But no, everything was just as surreal as the hopeful sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him, as if she knew something he didn’t.

She clutches either side of his head and plants a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you okay? You know I'm not doing any of this to spite you. Magic is in your bloodline. I’ll be in contact with you always alright?”.

He clutches her wrist. “I don’t want to do thi-”.

“Be strong for me beomgyu. Please”.

His heart ached at the agony in her eyes and he obliged. Magic was never his dream. It was hers. He nods his head though, telling her that he loves her and bids his farewell while stepping into the train cart. When he stepped on he was immediately pissed, assuming maybe he got the wrong cart. Out from the cold he was immersed into a noisy train, with loud and rowdy boys who were either talking at an ear piercing volume or pointlessly horsing around. none of them paid any mind to beomgyu though. Which was good, beomgyu hoped they kept that behavior up for as long as he were there. He swallows and pulls his varsity jacket sleeves over his fingertips, suddenly feeling anxious whilst walking down the aisle eyeing the empty seat in the back by the window. He hated settings like this. So lively and obnoxious it felt like the walls around him were closing in.

“Bro! Let me see!”.

A voice shrieks at a distance behind him before his footsteps grew closer, sounding as if he was sprinting. Within a blink of an eye beomgyu’s shoulder thrusted forward and he fell to the side, a result of the boy roughly running past him hitting his shoulder with no regard. Beomgyu felt his elbow suddenly press into the plastic bottle that the seated boy beside him was drinking from, leaving it now dented and water spilling all over the boy’s shirt. just by the way the boy was breathing beomgyu could tell he wasn’t too pleased. He pushes beomgyu off of him, so hard that his back almost hit the seats across from him.

“Yo! Watch where the hell you’re going!”.

Beomgyu peeled himself off the seat and fixed his ruffled clothes. His heart rate quickened just seeing the boy’s face drawn into an angry expression. Overwhelming fury coiled in beomgyu’s stomach.

“It was an accident!”. He hisses.

“Well don’t make accidents you just spilled my water all over me you fucking idiot!“.

Beomgyu clenches his jaw and balls his fists until his knuckles turned white.

“Don’t call me that”.

“Yeah? Or what? What are you going to do?”.

Once beomgyu charged forward he was immediately braced back by a long arm stretching across his chest. A clean shaven, outrageously hefty man who they would later know as Cyprus-- one of the headmaster’s faithful subordinates--had made it his duty to prevent the dispute from going any further.

“choi beomgyu”, he bellowed, his voice much more hoarse and gruff than beomgyu, or any of the boys expected. The cart grew quiet once the man spoke, they were tight lipped-- as if he used his hands and closed their mouths himself. beomgyu swallowed nervously and casts his eyes up at him.

“kang taehyun”, he bellows next. his dark eyes loomed over the both of them. taehyun breathed.

“yes?”. he mutters, something in him refusing to sound as scared as he looked.

“when you speak to me you use yes sir or no sir. do you understand?”. Beomgyu could only rest his eyes on the boy who was on the verge of beating the living shit out of him minutes prior, now mumbling with a speck of fear in his eyes.

“yes sir?”.

Cyprus then peers over at beomgyu. Beomgyu shifts his eyes from taehyun to cyprus a couple of times before realizing what he wanted.

“oh um--um yes sir?”.

“violence is not tolerated here. unless you want to face your discipline before you even get your room key, I suggest the both of you sit yourselves down somewhere”.

Like the fall of a microphone cyprus unhands be0mgyu and continues his journey along the carts making sure the rest of the boys were in order. Even after his disappearance the cart was dead silent.

Beomgyu tugs his luggage along with him to a random seat in the back, throwing himself down and laying his head back on the head rest as soon as he touches the chair. The doors were closing and the train was about to take off soon. The chatter on the cart began to sprout back up again. beomgyu sighed with his attention out the window. He wanted to be anywhere but here.

“don’t worry about tyun, he’s been like that ever since we were kids”. A rather mellow, wistful voice spoke beside him.

Beomgyu rolls his head over tiredly to the direction of the voice. He hadn’t even realized he was seated next to someone.

“He’s been what? A sensitive piece of shit?”,

The blonde haired boy smiled and laughed a little. Beomgyu had never seen a smile so bright in his life. His face was sort of angelic too, it had this shrill glow to it that beomgyu couldn’t stop looking at. He wondered if the boy was even real.

“No-- i mean he’s hot tempered like that all the time. So don’t sweat it. You’ll eventually learn to just stay out of his way”.

Beomgyu sucks his teeth. “or he can learn to stay out of mine”.

The boy laughs again, his face glowing so uncontrollably bright that his smile was a little contagious, spreading the disease of a small smile on beomgyu’s face also. The boy offers his hand,

“You’re funny. I’m heuning kai. Maybe we should be friends”.

Beomgyu was hesitant at first but nonetheless he shook it.

“I’m choi beomgyu”.

Heuning kai nods, thinking it was pretty odd to respond with “I know who you are”. Even though he did. He knew exactly who beomgyu was.

Beomgyu continued staring at his face-- it was obviously glowing at its edges. A sharp, pretty silver lining coasting along his jawline and over the crown of his blonde hair. Either that, or maybe beomgyu was just sleepy.

“So? Heuning kai …. what are you? Are you even a human?”. Beomgyu jokes. He really couldn’t fathom the other’s angelic appearance.

Kai’s cheeks began to tint pink in embarrassment. He thought he was blending in pretty well for the most part. “What makes you ask that?”.

“You’re glowing”.

Kai’s hands immediately touched his face which was incredibly warm. “Oh gosh I thought I had this under control”. he reaches into his bag and pulls out a small bottle of milk to drink.

“Have what under control?”.

“The glow. I’m half human and um--half fairy. I applied here so I can practice my magic”.

Beomgyu had an urge to touch him. He looked so pretty and perfect he wanted to see what he felt like at least once. He reached his hand out slowly to press his hand against kai’s. His skin was so velvety and pillow-like their hands practically melted into each other.

“Wow you’re so soft. I’ve never really met a fairy before”.

“Half. I’m a half fairy. A hury”.

“What’s the difference?”.

“Well, full blood fairies are incapable of feeling human emotions and they lack human-like qualities. They act off of magic instead of logic. But since I’m half, I’m able to use my magic wisely”.

Beomgyu nods in response, yawning with a sudden weary feeling washing over him all at once.

“That’s pretty cool. Can you do me a favor though and wake me when the train stops? I’m beat”.

Kai agrees, even though he wanted someone to talk to for the duration of the ride. He knew the other boys would think of him as a weirdo or freak of some sort. He was glad that beomgyu didn’t. No one ever took fairies too well. Beomgyu turned over though, curling his legs in the seat and allowed the moving moon to be his lullaby until he fell into his slumber.

By the time the train arrived at their destination the morning had already beat them to it. Kai had done his duty by waking beomgyu as he asked, even though it wasn’t easy. He remembers his mother--who was a full blooded fairy-- used to sprinkle sleeping pixies over his face when he was younger to get him to wake up. Oh how he wished he could’ve used them for gyu. Hopefully when kai gained some more experience he’d have those under his belt.

Beomgyu tugs his luggage and tiredly walks through the grassy quads of the campus which was utterly beautiful. The blades of grass reflected hues of vivid greens he only saw in his dreams. Even the shadow stone architecture of each building was built into a modern piece of art. Each building had different words carved into the stone at the top of the building. Words such as “Magic Engineering house”, “Magic Alchemy”, and even “Philosophy of Magic”. along these Multi colored stone walls and lining them occasionally were these big glass windows that were shiny and the cleanest he’s ever seen. But of course his moment of fascination came to an annoying end when he saw a big arrow sign, pointing first years to the direction of the auditorium.

“Oh gosh”, beomgyu whined. “I just wanted to sleep”.

“It’s morning time now. Plus you didn’t even get your room key, where are you going to sleep?”. Kai spoke from beside him. Beomgyu shrugs.

“I’ll sleep on this grass if I have to”.

Beomgyu meant it too. He really would’ve if he wasn’t so afraid of looking like an idiot. Instead he followed kai into the crowded auditorium, it was filled with all of the first year boys babbling excitedly about what kind of magic they were going to be best at. Pft. as if they knew. Beomgyu refused to sit by himself so he followed kai to the end of the seventh row.

Once beomgyu sat down he only looked up in demise, of course kang taehyun was also sitting at the end of the array of seats across from his. Beomgyu pretended he was taking short glances around the auditorium just so he could let his eyes fall on taehyun every once in a while. He happened to be conversing with his own friends looking as smug as can be. Beomgyu watches him talk with his hands. So sophisticated-like. Like he knew what he was talking about all the time. He watched as his black hair sat so neatly over his eyes, how cool he kind of looked with his red hoodie falling off his shoulder a little. Or how cute he looked with his dimples pushing into his cheeks whenever one of his friends said something funny.

No, no way. No way could he be this cute.

“Good morning first years! Headmaster Hutton welcomes you to Halls of Brotherhood: University of Magic!”.

The applause after those words were extravagant. The boys clapped like they were at a concert or something. It was so loud it actually made beomgyu blink back from his small trance. Taehyun shifted in his seat uncomfortably amongst the applause. While he was clapping he felt a stinging sensation along his forearm. He was going to ignore it thinking maybe his hoodie sleeve had scratched him a little. But it felt as though something was writing into his skin. He hesitantly pushes his hoodie sleeve up his arm with black ink catching his eye. His forearm was stained with sloppy yet surprisingly legible handwriting.

No way. No way could he be this cute.

Taehyun shakes his head and pulls his sleeve back down over the dark mark with his stomach churning. He’d just gotten on magical grounds and his soulmate had already begun thinking about him. In a way taehyun felt selfish. He wasn’t thinking of his soulmate at all nor did plan to at any point. He just wanted to study magic and that was all.

He couldn’t help his curiosities though. He snakes his eyes through the overstuffed auditorium full of boys, trying to decipher one by one who could it possibly be, who was looking at him at the moment or even sneaking glances his way. But from what he could tell everyone was paying attention to whatever the headmaster was saying. He still searches around even circling his eyes to beomgyu a couple of times. Of course beomgyu was paying him no mind, sneaking whispers over to heuning kai ever so often. After the episode they both had on the train it was safe to say that taehyun wasn’t fond of beomgyu at all. hell, he still wanted to beat the shit out of him for that. But in this moment he felt quite different. He watched as the boy's lengthy sleek black locks fell all over his head each time he moved and even the strands in the back reached down the nape of his neck. With the numerous piercings in his ear and the tan colored varsity jacket he was wearing taehyun noticed that beomgyu’s face starkly contrasted his look. A cute, rather anxious boy who dressed confident, maybe taehyun found that to be a little attractive.

Maybe he’s a little attractive.

He quickly casts his eyes back on the headmaster though, catching up on the instruction of where to get room keys and uniforms. Beomgyu thought uniforms were kind of stupid, then again he didn’t mind waking up in the morning not having to think of an outfit. He wasn’t much of a morning person anyway, so that situation seemed pretty glorious. What wasn’t so glorious though was the tingling sensation crawling across his skin. He smacked himself, thinking it was a bug or something but the scrawling only insisted.

“You alright?”. Kai whispers.

Beomgyu breathes and lifts his shirt sleeve up glaring at what looked to be a tattoo in someone's handwriting. It was slanted and italic, quite beautiful actually.

Maybe he’s a little attractive.

“wow already?”. Kai whispers again. “Your soulmate is already thinking of you”.

“I don’t know why. I’m just sitting here. I’m not even worried about a soulmate. I don’t want one.”.

“nonsense. You should think about them more. Having a soulmate is quite nice you know”.

Beomgyu shrugs it off, ignoring his words and anticipating the end of orientation. He was grateful to finally get his room key, class schedule and uniform-- khaki pants, a yellow argyle sweater vest, a red tie and a white long sleeve button up to wear underneath. They were going to be sent an extra supply of them later, but for now they were required to wear them to each class. To his great fortune he was rooming with heuning kai. Well, to his fortune and misfortune. He wasn’t sure how kai would be as a roommate yet.

On the other hand the room they were given was nice though, the typical two bed duo with a good amount of space in the middle as well as their very own desks and top cabinets on both walls. Kai throws his things down just to look around. And beomgyu did the same, trying to figure out what kinds of things he could put on his desk to encourage him to study. god, he hated studying. Just the thought alone made him want to pack his things and go home. But studying was the only way he'd get stronger in magic, so he had to learn somehow. He hoped kai had good studying habits. Perhaps he could copy off his paper every once in a while.

“Wow. This room is pretty nice. I was expecting something smaller”. Kai spoke, walking around a bit.

“Yeah me too. I wonder where we shower and stuff though”.

“Headmaster says the showers are down the hall for each floor”.

“Shit. so you’re telling me I can’t have my privacy either”.

Kai laughs. “Well, the showers have curtains you know. They’re like little stalls. It isn’t like a group shower or anything. Like the ones in prison”.

“Great. How awkward it’ll be to walk out the shower in front of a bunch of boys with just a bathrobe on”.

“You’ll be fine hyung. Don’t sweat it”.

Beomgyu sighs and plops himself down on the vacant bed, lying in a fetal sleeping position. “Can you wake me when another big event happens that requires my attendance?”.

“Going to sleep already? You don’t want to go to breakfast?”.

“Breakfast? We have breakfast?”. Beomgyu asks, still lying in his position contemplating on getting up.

“yeah it’s still early. They can’t have us settle in without feeding us. You coming or what?”.

Beomgyu sighs. “You know what I guess I’ll come. I guess I am a little hungry anyway and I should take advantage of this food while I can”. He gets up and straightens his jacket a bit before following kai to the refectory. It wasn’t a long walk persé but it did take quite some time to get there. He was glad he tagged along with kai because it would’ve been kind of sad for him to have to walk this path alone.

“So? Heuning kai? Why aren’t you as excited and obnoxiously outgoing as the other boys?”. Beomgyu couldn’t help but ask on their way. Kai gives him a light shrug.

“It’s just college I mean, what’s there to be excited about? It isn’t like anyone is going to take me seriously anyway. I might as well stay out the way”.

“Take you seriously? Why wouldn’t they take you seriously?”.

“Wow you seriously don’t know much about the world of magic huh?”.

“Growing up I forced my mother to raise me like a regular kid. It was only until now where she decided that she wanted me to follow the mages in my bloodline. I’m practically a human. Anyway though, why wouldn’t they take you seriously?”.

Kai exhales with shame creeping up his throat. “Well in the world of magic, you have the big leaguers kind of like the NBA. the mages and the wizards and all. And then you have those in the middle, who are really good alchemists and magical engineers. And then all the way at the bottom there are the fairies. That is where I come in”.

“Why are you guys at the bottom?”.

“Well the others don’t think we’re as capable of having strong magic. They think we all just dance in glitter and glow in happiness. Like we’re completely oblivious to the world around us which isn’t true. And since fairies are kind of rare, there hasn’t really been a single fairy that proved otherwise. Meanwhile we hear about these great mages and wizards all the time, so it’s kind of like we have nothing to go off of for ourselves”.

beomgyu takes some time to think for a moment. In a way it was kind of true, he hasn’t really heard of fairies and their capabilities throughout the span of his life, hence why kai is the first fairy he’s ever met. Well, half fairy. The dilemma was still kind of surprising to hear about nonetheless. They were now opening the door to the entrance where beomgyu sits his hand on kai’s shoulder.

“Well, I believe in you heuning. I think you can prove these bastards wrong”.

Kai chuckles as his gesture, more appreciative than gullible. “Thank you but you don’t have to say things like that to cheer me up. I know mages and wizards are very strong in magic so maybe I won’t ever be able to top them. But as long as I’m perfecting my craft I guess that’s okay”. When he said that it kind of hurt him a little even though he internalized it prior to even attending the school. I guess it just hurts more when saying it aloud.

Once they opened the double doors it wasn’t a surprise to see a little over one hundred first year boys in there already. The dining hall looked like something out of a Victorian era movie. There was a big beautiful bright chandelier hanging from the center of the ceiling and elegant designs engraved in the stone walls along the drapes. Even the floor was pure marble, sparkling and shining as if they were inviting every foot possible to walk on them. There were four extremely long dining tables in the center of the hall and buffet styled food around them at a distance along the walls. The boys were noisily eating at the tables and conversing with their friends. It made beomgyu kind of wonder how these guys made friends so fast in the first place.

Okay, so maybe beomgyu hadn’t been thinking about the pros and cons to this school before but after seeing the food he realized that it was definitely a pro. He’s had his fair share of good meals but he hadn’t ever seen food as perfect and well cooked as the food there.

“Wow,”. beomgyu tones with his eyes grazing over the strawberry banana pancakes, topped with whipped cream and melted butter. Kai withdrew two metallic trays from the stack, one for him and one for beomgyu.

“I know right. I was not expecting this”.

And taking a few glances from a couple of tables behind them was taehyun who was chewing into his food and half listening to the conversation with his friends. There had to be some way he could get revenge on beomgyu. Especially with how unapologetic he looked when he did what he did to him. And then arguing with him after that made it much worse. Taehyun didn’t like disrespect of any kind, and he especially wasn’t going to take it from some puny kid.

“I think, when we get really good at magic we should form a larger friend group you know? Like one of us could be good at alchemy, one at spells, one at history, you know”. Soobin begans, forking a big glob of rice into his mouth and finger combing his hair.

Yeonjun chews with his cheeks full, “who ever told you that you’d be good at magic?”. Earning a slap on his shoulder from soobin.

“To have you know both of my parents were great mages that graduated from this school”.

Taehyun sips orange juice from his straw. “Yeah and you’re they’re idiot son”. To which yeonjun tries his best to laugh without the contents of his mouth making a disgusting mess all over the white table cloth. Soobin rolls his eyes though and follows taehyun’s line of sight.

“Hey isn’t that the kid who spilled water on you on the train last night?”.

“Yeah. that little bastard”.

“Tyun give it a rest, man. Mistakes happen”. Yeonjun consoles while wiping the corners of his mouth.

Taehyun ignores him and gathers the small plates of food he hadn’t planned on eating, settling them onto his tray.

“I’m going to go throw this stuff away I’ll be right back”, he uttered, removing himself from the table before even getting a chance to hear what they had to say. He breaks his way through the crowds of kids clutching his tray tightly in his hand until he was finally in the spot he was aiming for. He squeezed into the space in line,Just behind beomgyu where the trash can was located. He fake trips over some boy’s shoe, leaving him and his tray flying directly into beomgyu’s back. The metallic tray flipped and smeared the food all over the back of beomgyu’s jacket and fell to the floor obnoxiously loud. So loud in fact that it caught the attention of everyone in the refectory.

Beomgyu stood there stunned, hoping what he thought happened to him hadn’t just happened. He could feel the heat of the food slide down his jacket and onto the floor below him and he turned around to see taehyun, stepping back and holding his hands up in surrender innocently. “It was an accident”. He admitted. But beomgyu knew full well it wasn’t. He could hear the animosity laced in his tone. Anger pooled in his chest and he grits his teeth. He automatically reaches his hand out to push taehyun back a couple of inches, almost knocking him into the heads of the boys behind him.

“What the fuck you moron!”.

Taehyun stumbles back to his feet and clenches his jaw even angrier. He pushes him back twice as hard. Beomgyu runs back and tackles him to the ground, trying his best to wrap his hands tightly around the younger’s neck.

“Get the hell off me!”. Taehyun grumbled, snaking his hand from his side and finally managing to punch beomgyu in his jaw with it.

After escaping his trance of shock kai rushes over to beomgyu’s aid and tugs him off of taehyun, trying his best to hold him back from going for a cheap shot. Soobin and yeonjun finally decided to amble to the scene also; they too were in too much shock to do anything the first time. Soobin helps taehyun off the ground and yeonjun acts as the safeguard to prevent taehyun from going back for another punch. Not that he could anyway, they could hear the sound of heels clashing against the marble floors gradually breaking their way through the group of boys until taehyun and beomgyu found out who they belonged to.

A gorgeous woman who wasn’t any much shorter than them but was visibly older. A loose black bow tie clung around the collar of her white button up which she tucked into her long, plaid green and purple skirt that kissed the floor. Her dark spiral curled hair sat on her shoulders, unwilting and uptight, just like her displeased face when she approached them. She had this beautiful staff in her hand, it was purple and it had a pretty crystal ball at the top of it, like she withheld all of her magic within it’s confinement. She held her head high with pride before she spoke,

“Mr. kang? Mr. choi? come with me please”. She beckoned before strolling out of the exit door. Kai pats beomgyu’s shoulder before letting him leave with taehyun following shortly after. The two boys were nervous as they followed her, for she hadn’t turned around once but it was like she could sense where they were behind her.

“Look around yourselves dear. I want you to ask yourselves whether you see a campus or a boxing ring”. her high aristocratic voice bellowed as she walked, placing her staff in the space in front of her as if to help her get there. however beomgyu noticed she could walk just fine, she had perfect posture even. well she had the posture of a stuck up snob.

“I expect an answer,”. she adds after their silence.

“I see a campus mrs”. beomgyu rushes to speak in hopes of lessening the punishment they were already set on getting. he wishes he wasn’t so quick to talk though, his jaw was still aching in pain. he clutches it softly.

“It’s madam genevieve to you darling. kang taehyun? I’m assuming you see a campus as well?”.

“yes madam genevieve”.

she kept her thin red lips pursed into a fine line.

“hm. I want you both to know that violence is never tolerated here. now since this is your first quarrel I shall start you off with a warning. anything after this will be detention and grade point deductions. do I make myself clear?”.

beomgyu swallowed. cyprus obviously didn’t tell her about their train incident but he wasn’t going to be the one to tell her. And from the look on taehyun’s face taehyun wasn’t going to be the one to tell her either.

“yes madam Genevieve”. The both of them stated in unison.

“this university isn’t called halls of brotherhood without reason. we’re all on the same team and we should treat each other as such. now run along. mr. choi I suppose you need a slip to visit the medi?”.

beomgyu was still stunned on how she could see him painfully rubbing his mouth when she hadn’t turned around. hearing her say that made beomgyu want to punch taehyun back twice as hard but he rather not risk his grades when the first day of classes hadn’t even started yet. he deserved to be in just as much pain as him.

“yes madam”.

she curved her hands at an angle and blew into them softly, a signed slip of parchment paper gradually appeared in beomgyu’s hand. he jumps a bit at the sudden use of magic but he figured these are the kinds of things he’d have to get used to in this school. he bowed to her and graciously thanked her before going on his way to find the medical building.

taehyun hated himself for feeling a little guilty after beomgyu departed. he deserved it didn’t he? he was trying to convince himself that he gave him a taste of his own medicine. But the tinge of guilt still hadn’t gone away.

beomgyu was laying down when he felt the scrawling on his skin again. the medi-wizard was rubbing the scented magic oil along his jaw, it smelled of hints of chocolate and cocoa butter. beomgyu wondered what would happen if he licked it. but he was still a newbie at magic and didn’t want to risk those types of experiments with himself. as the oil settled on his skin he felt the aching pain go away. he could finally move his jaw properly.

“there you go. that should do it. you’re all set to leave lad”.

beomgyu sits up promptly and thank him, not expecting this visit to go by as fast as it did. after what happened though he lost his appetite. so instead of going to the refectory he went to back to his room and plopped himself back on the bed like he was before. the stinging sensation in his forearm resurfaced and he lifts his sleeve up to read.

I wonder if he’s okay.

beomgyu sucks his teeth wondering why his soulmate had sat and watched the incident occur instead of helping him. Or preventing it from happening even. This is why he didn’t care much for a soulmate. He thought the only thing they’re good at is thinking. he withdrew his soiled jacket and he turns over in fetal position, ignoring the fact that he still hadn’t put his sheets on the bed yet and fell asleep anyways.

he hadn’t known how much he was tired though. by the time his eyes fluttered open the sky had darkened, and kai’s half of the room was already set up with posters on his wall, yellow and blue sheets on his bed, and his clothes folded neatly and put away. the room was dark but glowed a soft dark blue due to the string lights that kai had along the top borders of the walls. music was playing from somewhere though and beomgyu blinked again this time trying to find where it was coming from. he found kai sitting at his desk on his laptop, the soft + chill indie playlist was coming from his computer.

beomgyu breathed. “kai? what time is it?”. he says groggily.

“hm? oh you’re up. it’s around 8pm or so. you missed dinner so I brought some back to the room for you. It’s on your desk”.

beomgyu was grateful, as soon as kai mentioned dinner his stomach practically wanted to bite him. “god you’re a lifesaver thank you”.

he got up and approached his desk clutching the container, “what is it?”.

“Steak, mashed potatoes with gravy and snow peas”.

immediately upon opening beomgyu grabs a fork and shoves a piece of steak in his mouth and sighs in relief. he was starving. he hadn’t eaten all day.

“Is your jaw alright? What happened in the refectory today?”.

beomgyu sighs before sitting at his desk across from kai.

“yeah I’m fine. the medi rubbed some chocolate magic oil on me. But that little son of a bitch taehyun threw his food all over the back of my jacket. On purpose”.

Kai furrows his eyebrow, “the medi rubbed chocolate magic oil on you?”.

“yeah”.

“And then what?”.

beomgyu thought for a moment trying to figure out what the younger was getting at. once it came to mind he grabbed one of his salt packets and playfully launched it at kai’s head. kai laughed in response and dodged it. he dodged it way too late though.

“It wasn’t like that”, beomgyu starts, “he only rubbed it on my jaw. plus that medi wizard is old as hell”.

“for all I know you could be one of those people who likes when old men rub oil on you”.

beomgyu chuckles and clutches his plastic knife in launching position. “you say another fucking word heuning and I will dart this at your eye”.

kai chuckles again. “Anyway. taehyun was probably just trying to get revenge”.

“revenge for what? the train thing was an accident. that kid is insane”. beomgyu sits his bowl down eyeing kai’s laptop. “what are you doing online anyway? classes aren’t until tomorrow morning”.

“our class schedules were posted. you should check yours to see if we have classes together”.

“I will after I take a shower or something. I think that breakfast food settled into my clothes a little”. beomgyu pulls up his collar and sniffs, crinkling his nose at the weird scent.

“I think now is a good time. earlier when I went it was a bit crowded”.

beomgyu huffed and looked through his luggage to find his pajamas and toiletries. he threw a towel over his shoulder and promised kai his return. It was weird being away from home. I mean it was college, of course it’s what beomgyu expected but he wasn’t expecting all of it to happen so soon. it was what his mother wanted for him.

beomgyu was coming near the bathrooms and he was happy to hear how empty it was. well, he thought it was empty. he strolled inside, hearing quite a few voices and laughter. he immediately stopped in his tracks though when he spotted taehyun in the wide bathroom mirror in front of the sinks, shaving his face with a towel wrapped around his waist. beomgyu immediately stood back by the wall near the entrance where taehyun couldn’t see him.

it wasn’t like he was afraid. but it was late and he didn’t feel like dealing with taehyun’s shit right now. it had been a long day, only the first day in fact. He couldn’t afford any deductions this soon.

beomgyu stepped up inch by inch, peeking over the other side of the wall. he saw taehyun’s wet black strands of hair falling over his forehead. he was focused, in the mirror trying to shave as much as he could. beomgyu’s eyes fall onto the younger’s arms and body. his abs were chiseled and he built quite a bit of muscle in his biceps from what beomgyu could tell, they were glistening every single time taehyun shook the can of shaving cream. beomgyu curses at himself.

fuck. why is he so good looking?

Beomgyu places his head back on the other side of the wall where taehyun couldn’t see him. He decided to get a towel and throw it over his head just to get himself safely to a stall. although he looked like an idiot, his plan worked and he was sure to lock the stall behind himself and immediately stripped himself of his clothes.

taehyun ran the razor underneath the warm water. he felt that sensation again. The one he felt earlier with the feeling of something inscribing itself on his skin. he glanced at his forearm to read,

fuck. why is he so good looking?

taehyun laughs a little to himself. he looked around at the few guys that were in the bathroom. most of which were either talking to their friends or in the shower stalls but neither was paying him any mind. he didn’t want a soulmate but he also thought the little aggression in his soulmate’s tone was kind of cute. maybe it wasn’t so bad not knowing who his soulmate was.

he goes back to shaving and looking at himself in the mirror, thinking about the message on his forearm over again.

*********

“You look fine hyung, really”. Kai tried to encourage, but beomgyu wasn’t having it. He could feel his body growing hot inside the uniform and to make matters worse, he looked too preppy for his liking. He stood in the mirror, tugging on the collar of his button down with disgust.

“Why does it have to look like this?”.

Kai clutches the notebooks in his hand, “it’s school orders to wear our uniforms to each class or it’s a deduction. And speaking of, being late for class is a deduction also. So you might want to put your shoes on”.

“Shit”. Beomgyu grumbles, clutching a shoe off the ground and trying his best to quickly shove it over the heel of his foot. “I’ve already got several warnings. Hey what class do you have first?”.

“I’m in the philosophy building. What about you?”.

“Damn it. I have alchemy”. Beomgyu shoots up after he was finished, taking another glance at himself in the mirror before swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I look like an idiot. But whatever”.

Kai laughs and opens the door, “let’s go”.

Parting ways with kai was kind of hard, beomgyu will admit. He wasn’t fond of making friends on his own. If it was up to him he’d rather talk to kai for all of his years enrolled. He didn’t mind kai being his only friend. Anyways though, it took him a good amount of time to even find the alchemy wing, much less arriving on time. And professor harlow made that known as soon as beomgyu walked in. wasn’t scribbling on the chalkboard, no-- rather the chalk was scribbling for her while she leaned on her desk and took sips of her black coffee.

“you’re late mr. choi. had trouble finding the room?”.

Shit. beomgyu thought if he said nothing and just kept walking it would keep her from speaking to him. But no, of course she discussed it out in the open and everyone’s eyes were on him now.

“yeah sorry about that. gonna try and be earlier tomorrow”.

Beomgyu quickly informed as he kept walking to the back of the room where the empty seats were. He wanted the interaction to be over with as soon as possible.

“In Alchemy we have labs and lab question discussions. Everyone is assigned to a three person group. Mr. choi you’ll be in group #4”.

Beomgyu took a breath and searched around the table numbers. A solemn feeling of relief washed over him once he found that it was on the other side of the room, he probably was looking like an idiot in front of everyone. He pulled out his chair and threw his backpack down, nodding at his tablemates. It was only a matter of time before professor harlow began speaking again, laying out the rules and expectations of the class. The pink haired boy held his hand out to beomgyu with a small smile,

“What up. I’m yeonjun”. He whispers.

The blue haired boy beside him held his hand out also, chewing on a snack he snuck in.

“I’m soobin”.

Beomgyu nods and shakes both of their hands firmly. He didn’t understand why they were so fond of handshakes at a young age. I mean, he didn’t want them to jump into an extravagant hug or anything but gosh, It felt like he was greeting a professor or something.

“I’m beomgyu”.

Yeonjun nods. “how are you doing? I’m sorry about taehyun the other day”.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes at the reminder. “It’s alright I’m fine, thanks for asking’.

“yeah he’s a little hot tempered. Don’t worry about him though. We’re going to do our best to keep him cordial with you in this class”. Soobin adds.

Beomgyu could almost snap his pencil in half with his hand. “he’s in this class?”.

Yeonjun turns a little and points his head in Taehyun's direction. beomgyu’s eyes followed and he saw tahyun seated with his own tablemates, highlighting due dates on the syllabus. By that gesture alone beomgyu already knew what type of student taehyun was. And he always hated those types of students. The know-it-alls.

Beomgyu annoyingly shook his head, making a pft noise before turning his attention back to the chalkboard. “this is going to be such a shitty year”. he told himself, frankly not caring if the others heard him or not. whether or not they heard him throughout class, all he could hear was them. each and every day they were consistently arguing back and forth over stupid things. most of which beomgyu tried to ignore for the most part. but it was hard to get a lab done when his partners just wanted to get on each other’s last nerve. maybe this is why they repeatedly failed alchemy.

“I totally won that bet. hand over the cash soobin”.

“no because you didn’t win”.

“yes I did. I won it fair and square and you know it”.

“you always want to win everything hyung. how about you learn to lose sometimes?”.

beomgyu shook his head and adjusts his safety goggles and lab coat, placing the beaker full of liquid on the weighing scale and recording the data on the sheet of paper. he hadn’t known making potions would be exactly like chemistry. he was never particularly good at chemistry but since yeonjun and soobin were no help he had no choice but to put his own skills to the test.

“that’s why I can’t play these types of games with you soobin. you’re a sore fucking loser”.

“I’m not you’re just a big brat who thinks he needs to win every possible thing in life”.

looking right past them two though beomgyu glances over at taehyun who was at the other table across from him, of course doing the lab as he was told. he was talking to his group mates and for some reason a tinge of jealousy stained beomgyu’s heart.

beomgyu hadn’t realized that his thought provoked an inscription in taehyun’s forearm. he faltered a little while pouring the bits of sodium in the hydro flask before turning away to check the message.

I hate the fact that I’m so jealous of everyone who has access to you

access to your humor , your friendship, your heart.

possessiveness comes so easy for me I feel like you’re mine.

taehyun’s cheeks tinted and his heart flutters in a way he never felt before. He decides to continue with the lab experiment so his groupmates wouldn’t question him about anything. He couldn’t help but to think of it over and over. before thinking of something else.

I am yours. always and forever, sweetheart.

“they called you sweetheart? that’s so cute!”. Kai jeers at the dinner table, making the boys around him look at him a little oddly. Beomgyu rolls his eyes and spreads the butter on his piece of bread. “Stop it kai. It isn’t that serious. And I also think you’re glowing a little”. Beomgyu said the last part rather quietly. Kai settles himself and smooths his hands over his hot reddening cheeks. He couldn’t wait to learn more magic so he could control it a lot better.

“I’m sorry I just got a little excited. You should be excited though. who knows what can happen. Maybe you’ll fall in love”.

“pft I will not”.

“ I think you will. especially since you’ve never been in love before”.

beomgyu takes a pause before chewing into the buttered bread. “wait--how do you know that?”.

“oh um well it’s another hury trait of mine. we know a lot about the lives of different humans”.

“so you’re telling me you knew who I was this whole time?”.

“yeah but i know everyone. everyone just doesn’t know me”.

beomgyu chews on a sweet potato fry. he glanced over kai’s features, thinking the boy was way too innocent for his own good.

“have you ever been in love before kai?”.

“yeah but I think it was one sided. I hope to find true love someday”.

beomgyu smiled a little to himself, sliding his arm around kai’s shoulders. “you will. don’t worry. for now we can have fun and fool around until then”.

kai’s heart grew warm and beomgyu could tell he was a happy about the gesture, his face started glowing again.

“thank you hyung”.

“so like are you guys dating?”. beomgyu heard someone ask from the other side of him. he turns to look and by the boy’s face he could see that the ginger haired boy wasn’t genuinely curious at all. he looked as though he was on the verge of laughter, like someone sent him to their table as a joke.

“why the hell do you care? who even are you?”. beomgyu rebuttals.

“just wanted to tell you that you guys look cute together”. The boy adds, cupping his hand over his lips to keep from laughing. kai didn’t like feeling like this. he hated the feeling of becoming angry. it was a feeling his fae family had felt way too often, they were evil creatures and kai didn’t want to be that way.

“go away”. kai mumbled underneath his breath in a tone that beomgyu had never heard out of him before. it was dark and didn’t sound good at all. the boy stands up, making a scene.

“or what? no one is scared of you, softie. you look soft you can’t be a wizard or a mage. what the hell are you? a fairy?”.

at the sound of that word almost everyone around them dropped their jaws and stared, just waiting to see what kai’s reaction was going to be. and by this time kai’s face grew hot but it didn’t glow. this time it was almost crimson red. he reaches his hand over and pulls the boy by his collar. the boy’s heart dropped at the sight of kai’s pupils growing larger, and not in a cute way. no, kai’s eyes had become all black.

“offuco”. he growls, with pixie dust flowing from his mouth and into the boy’s. and sure enough the command did exactly as kai expected, the dust sneaking into the boys throat made him choke to the floor. his neck and face had begun to turn red, so much that his friends had to practically drag him to the medi wing.

beomgyu’s heart was pounding and he was terrified. So was everyone around him who had now turned around back to their tables, not wanting to partake in anything else. beomgyu swallows with his eyes peering over at kai. he looked much more normal and his pupils even decreased in size. the red in his face had seized and his milky skin was arriving again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I have to go— take my meds or something”. he quickly clutches his backpack and makes his way out before beomgyu could even say his next word. dinner wouldn’t be anything without kai though and he truly felt bad for him. he didn’t want to just sit and eat alone not knowing what was possibly running through the boy’s mind. so beomgyu grabs his backpack too and takes an early exclusion from dinner.

he trudges down the hallway cursing at himself for taking this way. to his luck taehyun, soobin and yeonjun were all standing by the vending machines at the end of the hall. he needed to get to kai though and this was the quicker option. he sucked up his pride and tried not to make eye contact but of course yeonjun had something to say anyways.

“beomgyu? what’s up”.

shit.

“yeah what’s up gyu. I’m going to try to work on the lab questions tonight. I feel sorry that we didn’t do the experiment”. Soobin adds.

beomgyu shrugs. “yeah it’s alright. I’ll try to work on them too”.

Yeonjun nods, “later on we’re having some drinks in my room if you want to stop by”.

taehyun glares at the pink haired boy.

“what? he can come along if he wants”.

“no he can’t. him and his weird ass boyfriend can stay where they are”.

“oh shut the fuck up taehyun”. beomgyu harshly replied.

“you shut the fuck up. I can say what I want to say. you’re not coming”.

“tyun relax a little”. soobin warned, eyeing Cyprus who was already down the hallway.

“don’t mind him he’s just being an ass. you can come if you want”. yeonjun continues.

“no thank you. I don’t want to go to a place where I’m not invited by everyone”.

“so keep walking then”. taehyun adds with his arms folded.

beomgyu shoves him back into the vending machine.“you fucking have issues”. taehyun gets off of it getting ready to shove him back but yeonjun acts as a safeguard once again, preventing anything else.

“guys. relax alright? you both aren’t going to be practicing shit but detention if you’re just going to fight all the time”.

“fuck that. fuck him. I have to go”. beomgyu snatches yeonjun’s hand off his chest before continuing the walk back to his room.

he knocks, barely hearing anything before he walks in. he was happy to see Kai sitting on the edge of his bed with a pill bottle in his hand and a bottle of water. he looked normal for the most part, just a little spaced out. which is completely normal after the episode that just occurred.

“you alright kai?”. beomgyu asks, shutting the door behind him.

“I’m okay hyung. I'm sorry about earlier”.

“you don’t have to apologize for your traits. stop doing that. I’m your friend and I just want to learn more about you”. beomgyu takes a seat on his own bed, rubbing his hands on his slacks. “so what was that?”.

“remember when I told you everyone thinks that fairies dance in glitter and glow in happiness?”.

beomgyu nods. “yeah?”.

“fairies are evil hyung. and the worst thing you could ever do is use the word fairy as an insult to any of us. and some fairies don’t like being called that”.

beomgyu’s eyes widened. It scared him a little. “so what are you called?”.

“we’re called the good people”.

“geesh kai. I wish that boy knew that. you practically choked him to death without even touching him. I think next time I have alchemy I’ll try my best to make a potion for that. that was kind of cool”. beomgyu laughs a little in attempt to lighten the mood. kai smiles a little along with him.

“don’t use your magic to hurt people. I didn’t want to do that but I was angry and evil magic is the only thing I was really taught when I was younger”.

“It’s alright. that’s what we’re here for. to get our magic under control.”

“you’re right. thanks hyung. well thanks for checking on me”.

“no problem. I was trying to get here faster but I almost faught taehyun’s dumb ass again”.

“Again?”.

“he’s such a bitch kai. you out of all people should know that. yeonjun invited me for drinks in their dorms or whatever— and taehyun got all defensive saying that I couldn’t come”.

“drinks? you should’ve gone and had fun with the third years”.

“without you? If I would’ve gone tonight you would’ve been coming with me”.

this was true. If beomgyu had gone he would’ve bought kai along. but taehyun knew if beomgyu tagged along he didn’t know what would come out his mouth while he was drunk. perhaps he would’ve admitted everything he thought about him. and he couldn’t afford for beomgyu to know any of that. he hated him yet he was attracted to him all at once. this is what mainly had his heart racing as soon as beomgyu walked through the door.

“gyu! wassup man”. yeonjun for some reason yelled a little louder than he intended. there weren’t many people in the third year suite drinking along with them but it was quite enough. more than beomgyu or kai been around at least. the room was dimly lit and there was music playing amongst the chatter between the boys in the room.

“what’s up. I bought heuning with me”.

“that’s no problem I’m glad you came. thought you were going to ditch us after you were about to beat taehyun’s ass”.

Beomgyu swatted his hand as if to discard the statement. “never mind that shit. we’re just here to experience the fun with third years”.

a drunk soobin immediately pushes a bottle of whiskey to kai’s chest. “let the fun begin”.

and truly beomgyu wasn’t expecting kai to drink as much as he did. beomgyu drank a little, but not out of control. he was too busy laughing at the piss poor job the third years were doing at karaoke. kai was too, he was laughing so hard on the ground next to him that his face flushed pink.

taehyun had been on the other side of the room talking amongst his other group of friends, eyeing beomgyu every chance he got. he didn’t want him here but he was too drunk and weak to do anything about it. especially when beomgyu locks eyes with him back, the both of them stared each other down for what seemed to be five minutes before they nervously looked elsewhere.

If only you knew how pretty you are to me.

taehyun’s drunk thoughts were scrawled across beomgyu’s arm. to which beomgyu slides his sleeves down and tries to hide the blush in his cheeks.

If the sun could laugh or smile I’m sure it would look a lot like yours. stunning, and it takes my breath away.

I know I can’t have you

and I hate the fact that a small piece of me wishes that I could

I’ve grown weak for you and It feels like I’ve known you before. It feels like I’ve loved you before.

and the more taehyun watched him laugh and smile he realized it was true. he did. he loved beomgyu so much. and when beomgyu locked himself in a bathroom stall just to read the numerous tattoos all over his body he had realized he loved them too. whoever his soulmate was, he was in love. and he couldn’t help it.

#choi beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu angst #kang taehyun #taehyun angst #taehyun fluff #taegyu #soulmate au #taegyu au #tomorrow by together #choi beomgyu fluff #choi beomgyu angst

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beckydoesthings · 4 years ago

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I spend far too much time on AO3 to let it all go to waste, so here’s a collection of ABO fics that I thoroughly enjoy. These are all hxl unless specified otherwise. I tried to condense my total list into one post, but I very quickly realized it would be waaaaay too long, so I split it up.

*will continue to update this. also if i mistagged an author, i deeply apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

sleeping on our problems

E | 67k | @falsegoodnight

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down. There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word. His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared. - Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

this is everything i’ve ever wanted in an ABO fic and i’m genuinely in love with this. i think i cried reading this lol and i’m not ashamed of it. also the smut!

A Distant Hazy Light

E | 198k | @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

this is part one of a three part ABO series that also probably made me cry at some point. chock full of angst and heartbreak with an (eventual) happy ending. also the side ziam is just *chef’s kiss*.

pray for some sweet simplicity

E | 237k | @eeveelou

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

it’s just so beautiful. their relationship development was soooo good and i adored reading this piece. i never thought i could enjoy a motorcycle racing story so much!

A Sea Without Water, A Compass Without Direction

T | 84k

”Tell me, Louis,” Captain Styles said, leaning forward a little. ”D’you think I’m an idiot?”

”I—what?” Louis asked, surprised by the blunt question. He had expected something different, something along the lines of how he learned music, or how he ended up as a prisoner on the other ship.

”Do you think I’m an idiot?” The captain repeated, putting emphasis on each word as though Louis couldn’t understand him otherwise.

”Of course not,” Louis said, shaking his head. He’d be a fool for thinking such a thing, and an even bigger fool for saying it out loud. ”Captain.”

Captain Styles nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. ”Then why did you lie to me?”

”L-Lie?”

”Out on the deck. You lied to me,” he said. He held up his hand, three fingers up. ”Three lies total. I hate liars.”

i think i’ve read this like a dozen times and it’s still. so. good. probably the first pirate fic i read and i love it so much! the dynamic between them is awesome to read.

Seeing Blind

E | 46k | @that-idiot-overthere

Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.

the smut in this fic is absolutely filthy and i love it ;). but watching the two boys be idiots in love made this fic for me.

The Space Between

E | 40k | @alltheselights

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

i wanted to smack harry the entire time i was reading this, but in a cool way obviously. it’s quite fluffy but it’s got enough angst to make it suspenseful.

Face Your Fears

E | 92k | @sadaveniren

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

this fic is a rollercoaster of emotions from beginning to end and it’s amazing to read. i’m not sure what i love more, the fact that harry’s a baker or half the plot being based around wikipedia being false.

The Compulsion to Find Love

E | 140k | @toomanydreamers

The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known.

it is quite a lengthy story but totally worth it. i adore louis’ fierce determination in this!

We Both Got Nothing to Hide

E | 43k

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

personal favorite because i have a soft spot for nesting. but i love the relationship between the two and it’s. so. fluffy i could melt.

lemon eyes

E | 50k

It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

ah yes a fic where Louis is an alpha and both are versatile?? wack. anyways, the smut in this is awesome and harry’s an idiot. what’s new?? (jkjk)

A Taste of Desire

E | 104k | @casuallyhl

“As forward as I have been with you this evening, I am also aware this dinner party isn’t the place to conduct business.” Mr. Tomlinson chuckles quietly to himself, shooting a subtle glance across the table towards their hostess. “And besides, I am sure our hostess would be horribly disappointed to learn that we went away this evening with a business agreement and not a mating one.”

Harry, who had been sipping his wine, coughs harshly at this. He splutters, unaccustomed to such blatant statements about mating.

Mr. Tomlinson continues to laugh quietly, clearly pleased at Harry’s reaction.

“Mrs. Humphreys promised that there was an alpha attending the dinner tonight that I would certainly get on well with,” Mr. Tomlinson continues, voice teasing. “She assured me that we would have much in common since we both work with mills.” Mr. Tomlinson glances at Harry, eyes flashing with mirth. “Little did she know that would be where our mutual interests began and ended.”

Or, a Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

one of my favorite historical AUs! i love how strong and opinionated Louis is and how Harry comes round to follow.

Canyon Moon

E | 40k | @eeveelou

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

disney AUs are the shit! i’ve got a small love for werewolf fics and this is one of my favorites. love how this takes the story of lion king for a spin.

Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds

M | 38k | @2tiedships2

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

i love how just sappy and sweet this is, like there are just hearts pouring out of my eyes as i read this. also broadway!

*updated 2/15/21*

#fic recs #ao3 #in no particular order #abo fics #hl

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wingsofthewibbets · 3 years ago

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Hello I Made A Playlist

It is specifically for the vibes of the Calamity Trio! Also, I feel like contributing to fandom, so I tried to explain why I felt each song gave off the ~Vibe~. Apologies for the length of this monstrosity. It’s on Youtube and Spotify, but there is a song on Youtube I used that was unavailable on Spotify. It’s in no particular order, although maybe I’ll organize it one day.

~‘California Friends’ (The Regrettes)- Generally the fun upbeat vibe of the song, but also these specific lyrics make me think of Anne’s :

I think I love you but then I think

No way!

I gotta go but I wanna stay

Just stay!

I guess I’ll save it for another day, well okay?

As well as:

I get mixed up in my head, you do too

But I don’t forget a thing you’ve said

Well that’s true

I think the lyrics definitely give me more Anne/Marcy vibes, but the music itself makes me think of Sasha getting them into trouble. There’s some big garage band energy here, and it just makes me think of them running around and causing chaos. (also the ‘i gotta go but i wanna stay/just stay’ definitely reminds me of the end of the aquarium episode)

~’The Archer’ (Taylor Swift)- Oh man this song where do I even start?? There is so much?? (I know I’ve already talked about this one, but Imma do it again) I was listening to this song one day and the lyrics hit me so hard as reminding me of all the girls, specifically:

For Anne:

Combat, I’m ready for combat

I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

‘Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory, but this seriously makes me think of her relationship with Sasha -or the shambles of it anyway oof- and the speeches line just makes me there’s so much that she doesn’t tell her friends about what’s running through her head.

Anne’s an emotional person to be sure, but she’s also a very impulsive one, which means a lot of times, what people get from her is the unedited, unreflected version of her thoughts, which don’t make them any less true, but that also means that she’s probably a little more reticent with the deeper ideals that don’t get unearthed through dramatic moments. She just does things a lot of the time, and when she gets stuck on something, it is kinda obvious from the outside, but she also gets uncomfortable with trying to talk about it, because there is no clear solution she can enact in the moment to resolve it.

For Sasha:

Screaming who could ever leave me, darling?

But who could stay?

I see right through me, I see through me

As well as the repetition of ‘they see right through me/can you see right through me’, these lines give me huge Sasha vibes, specifically. I think of them kind of especially applicable to the Reunion episode, but also just how there were a couple scenes where she seemed to be regretting hiding from her friends the toad rebellion that was going to take place in Newtopia, and that conversation Anne and Sasha have in The Third Temple. I don’t think she ever considered regretting the rebellion at all, but I do think she worried over what it might do to her friendships.

The end of Reunion was heartbreaking, for both Anne and Sasha, because if the Plantars had been able to pull both girls up, I think there would have been more opportunity for Sasha and Anne to have a better reconciliation. (i think this about this a lot ngl) And, also because she was willing to die for Anne??? I don’t think that gets discussed enough. That episode has big ‘who could ever leave me’ at the beginning, and then at the end ‘who could stay’ vibes.

For Marcy:

And all of my heroes die alone (OOF)

As well as

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men

Couldn’t put me together again

‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Ahahaha this is the ANGST. So. I mean, obviously the king’s horses part makes me think of the ending of True Colors, and I don’t think that Marcy considers Sasha and Anne to be her enemies by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t think that Andrias is above manipulating her to think that they think of her that way. (Also the line ‘cause all of my enemies started out friends’ line is very applicable to Anne and Sasha as well, it just happened to be part of the lines that made me think of Marcy) Plus sticking around the king and whatever the heck he has in store for her will definitely not put her back together sooo-

The ‘help me hold onto you’ and the ‘I’ve been the archer/I’ve been the prey’ just apply to all of them (for the former, think Sasha and Anne in Reunion, the way Marcy tried to mediate in The Dinner, and just True Colors in general; for the latter, it makes me think of the sword-fights between Anne and Sasha, as well as how Marcy once believed that Andrias actually cared about her). The ‘Dark side, I search for your dark side/But what if I’m alright, right, right, right here’ make me think of how Anne is going to be reevaluating her friendships with both Sasha and Marcy, as well as how all of them seemed to grow into the Amphibia communities that they landed in and what they are going to struggle with leaving behind.

I had this song on loop for way too long trying to word my feelings out about it.

~’Soldier, Poet, King’ (Oh Hellos)- This song is just so absolutely perfect for the three girls. I’d like to take the time to state that I think Sasha fits soldier, Marcy poet, and Anne king, but what are y’all’s thoughts?

There will come a soldier/Who carries a mighty sword

He will tear your city down

Big Sasha vibes, fits with what’s she done so far in the show, as well as how she’s being set up for the third season to be a hero (whose intentions somewhat align with the consequences of her actions).

There will come a poet/Whose weapon is his word

He will slay you with his tongue

Marcy spends a lot of time journaling, and she even takes the time to learn a dead language! She seems rather skilled with more traditional weaponry, but her biggest boon is her intelligence and her quick-thinking. I also think that if she does end up getting possessed by the Night, its words being spoken by Marcy’s voice is absolutely going to SLAUGHTER Anne and Sasha.

There will come a ruler/Whose brow is laid in thorn

Smeared with oil like David’s boy

Apart from the fact that Anne literally has plants growing from her head in the S2 finale, she is also a charismatic leader who has made connections all over Amphibia. She genuinely cares about the people around her, and takes the time to get to know them and spend time with them. Also, a lot of times, she is underestimated and seen as the David to her opponent’s Goliath- whether that be physically or in skillset.

~’Someone To You’ (The Banners)- No specific lyrics here, but the general vibe of the song. There is a sort of desperation that seems to permeate it, as though if the narrator isn’t someone to the person they are singing to, they will be nobody at all, and I think that is very much how all of the girls view their friendship, at least at first.

Marcy gets the music box thing going because she doesn’t want to be alone; Sasha is desperate to have Anne, and she wants so much for both Anne and Marcy to look up to her as someone who is strong and present. I think for Anne, we kinda see this song in the speech she gives to Sprig in Best Fronds when she’s trying to get him to break the rules with her, but also in how she is open to reconciling with Sasha in The Dinner and giving her a second chance. Mainly, though, what I associate with Anne for this song are the scenes where she reunites with Marcy and Sasha for the first time. The spinning hug she gives Sasha, and how tightly she hugs Marcy with tears in her eyes- she really does love and care about these girls.

They all cling to this friendship so much, in different ways, both healthy and unhealthy, and I think this song really captures that.

~’Lost Girls’ (Lindsey Stirling)- This song is mostly instrumental, so again, no specific lyrics here, but there is a very deep, melancholic feel to this song. It gets kinda fast-paced at some points, and reminds me of the ending of True Colors, with Anne and Sasha and Marcy separated. There is so much space- literal and internal- between all of them now, and I think this song does a really great job of getting Those Feels across. They aren’t just lost to each other, they are also struggling with battles inside of themselves.

But the lyrics that are in this song, (lol I just said I wouldn’t mention them whoops) ‘Lost girls find a way’, are sung, the music played after them that plays remind me that, like Matt Braly said, sometimes things have to be broken to be fixed again. They can find a way. It’s not a happy song to be sure, but there’s a quiet strength and determination in it.

~’Long Live’ (Taylor Swift)- I could cite specific lyrics here, but this song has just always given me epilogue-end-of-the-battle scenes, where we get to see everyone exhausted, but happy and most importantly together. This song is what I’m hoping the future gets to be for Marcy, Anne, and Sasha; happy about their present together, being able to heal despite the past, and accepting that even if they aren’t together forever in the future, that doesn’t mean they weren’t important to one another.

~’Torches’ (Oh Hellos)- ‘Torches’, on the complete opposite hand to ‘Long Live’, kind of represents where the girls are right now with one another.

Despite keeping that old wheel turning, despite laying that next spoke down (yes these are direct lyric references), they are also continuing to make mistakes with one another.

I got a venom like a snake running out of my mouth

(Running out of my mouth, running out of my mouth)

It’s got you burning at the stake

Innocent or not, you’re not a bet I care to take

And, yet, somehow, they keep being led back to one another. They are more alike than they think, and even if they get back to Earth, they will still be bound by the mutual experiences they had on Amphibia, that no one else is likely to ever understand. The ways they misunderstand one another and don’t communicate cleave them apart, but also together, in a way.

And Father Ignorance will make brothers of us all

(Brothers of us all, brothers of us all)

As he sets our torch aflame

Chasing down the flimsy specters that we pro-create

As well as

Mother Fortuna, O, she makes sisters of us all

(Sisters of us all, sisters of us all)

When the faces in her wake

Look more like our own than the effigies that we immolate

~’Castle On The Hill’ (Ed Sheeran)- Purely just the vibes. Nothing super deep, just makes me think of how Anne, Sasha, and Marcy are going to look back on their friendships and their time together.

~’Trouble’ (Valerie Broussard)- Though I will forever associate this song with Six of Crows thanks to a fabulous animatic, I will say that it also makes me think of the darker tone that Season 3 might take on, and how each girl is poised to take on a different problem. I see it as a very Sasha song (especially ‘I’m your Number Two man in a fight/We are revolutionaries tonight’), but all three of them tend to lead a trail of chaos in their wake. (Also the vibes here are impeccable)

~’Time Alive’ (K.C Katalbas)- (not on Spotify, definitely recommend checking it out) This song just has that perfectly nostalgic, yet aspirational feel to it. It is hopeful, yet it it has its own sort of weight. It pairs nicely with ‘Long Live’ and ‘Castle On The Hill’, in a way, I think. It makes me think of what the future could be for the girls, once again, and how even if something is bittersweet, you are still allowed to be hopeful. Mostly, it makes me think of each girl reflecting about one another, and the time they spent together.

And this is your life, every plan has a right to fall

And this is your heart, through the dark it’s the loudest call

And this is breathing

And seeing her go

~’Try’ (The Lightning Thief)- True Color battle against Andrias vibes! And Season 3 vibes! A lot of these lyrics are kind of specific to Annabeth, Percy, and Grover’s characters, but I also think the general feel of this song is very applicable to Anne, Sasha, and Marcy. Particularly, I am reminded of how Sasha and Anne will be feeling about Marcy.

I may fail you

I may fail you, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t try

And

I’m not leaving your side til we find what matters

I’m not leaving your side til we’re back home

I’m not leaving your side til you’re remembered

No matter how far we have to go

As well as probably the guilt that Marcy was feeling during True Colors:

Two thousand four hundred forty eight reasons I have to come along

Wash my hands of past mistakes

As well as

The weight of the world’s on my shoulders

Like Atlas, it’s crushing me down

We’re not brave, we’re not strong, we’re not soldiers

And how could I forget?

L.A doesn’t seem so far away…

~’Drive It Like You Stole It’ (Sing Street)- Again, like ‘Trouble’, but a little softer. If ‘Trouble’ has Sasha vibes, this one makes me think of Anne, but it also has a similar line to ‘Time Alive’- this is your life. For the most part of Amphibia, I think the girls focussed a lot on fitting in and adapting to their surroundings, but I think Season 3 is really going to see them owning who they are and taking it upon themselves to enact change.

It also just makes me think of them messing around and being kids, trying to figure out who they are. It’s like, if they ever make it back to Earth in one piece and stay friends, but still manage to get into shenanigans.

~’What’s Up Danger’ (Blackway, Black Caviar)- local newt king gets mauled by three newly empowered thirteen-year olds

~’How Far We’ve Come’ (Matchbox Twenty)- This one is a classic. No playlist of mine is worth its salt if it doesn’t have this song here. It has the ~vibes~ of pre-last battle energy, and also I can definitely see Sasha and the Sharps playing it at some point.

Alternately, this also makes me think of Anne, Sasha, and Marcy finally going home together or reuniting properly after the end of True Colors. Lots of angst either way.

~’We Are Young’ (fun.)- What I picture with this: Anne, Sasha, and Marcy are not entirely reconciled with one another yet, but it’s the night before the last battle or somethin’, and they still care about one another a lot. This has that energy. They’re just kids, but they’ll be damned if they don’t go out without a fight, and without standing by one another’s sides.

(and marcy found someone(s) to carry her home nanananananana)

Slightly more uplifting(?) than ‘How Far We’ve Come’, but similar energy, I think.

~’Pump It’ (Black Eyed Peas)- three local teenagers get pumped to cause problems on purpose; montage time. I have no justification for this song, only that it has the vibes of Sasha and Anne’s relentless energy and the confidence of Marcy swinging down on a rope she doesn’t know will actually hold her weight.

~’Disaster Hearts’ (I Fight Dragons)- I feel like this song is the definition of Matt’s tweet about how some things have to be broken to be fixed. It has vibes of the aftermath of a battle, and opening the door to reconciliation and forgiveness. Amphibia has tied these girls together, for better or worse, and I think there is room for them to become better friends and mend their relationships.

Disaster has a way of remaking our hearts

Long after all the thunder and scars

Days pass and bit by bit we begin to restart

Our disaster hearts

~’Thus Always To Tyrants’ (Oh Hellos)- It makes me think of where Anne and Sasha are left at the end of Reunion, but also in how Anne wants to find Marcy now that she know she’s definitely out there. The sound of the song gives me huge Marcy vibes, with how it does seem to be almost cheerful? The very last line makes me think a lot about Sasha (‘Learn to love without consuming’), but I think a lot of the song is applicable to all the girls in different situations.

#amphibia #amphibia spoilers #wow this was really long #amphibia playlist #yes i listen to a lot of taylor swift and oh hellos how did you know #i had the archer on loop for so long while writing that part #what songs do you guys associate with the trio?#one day i will actually put them in a sort of order #i can't believe this is how i spend my time now lol #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #my brain is only funky frog music now

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lost-in-the-80s · 4 years ago

Text

I Don’t Wanna Lose You

Pairing: Slash x (fem) reader

Words: 1,716k

Requested by: anon

Summary: It’s a Friday night and you and your boyfriend, Slash have a birthday party to attend. Everything is going as planned, that’s until he gets drunk, of course. (fluff)

A/N: I hope this was what you had in mind, honey. I got two different ideas for this, but chose to do this one ‘cause I thought would fit more your concept.

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car @ladieswttda @teasid add yourself to my tag list :)

You were at your house getting ready, Saul, your boyfriend would pick you up soon.

It was Axl's birthday and the guys were excited about finally meeting you.

You and Saul were together for a few weeks now, a little bit more than a month, and he had been talking about you all the time.

You two met through a mutual friend, Rachel Bolan, who introduced you guys.

It was during one of his band's parties and you two spent the whole night talking, exchanging your numbers when you finally got tired and decided to head home.

You knew who he was, obviously, you had seen his band on MTV, and he had caught your attention right at the first moment you saw him playing his guitar.

He knew you too, you were a model, starting to become famous because of some big campaigns you had done in the past months.

When he saw you for the first time, it was in a television campaign, and he couldn't take his eyes off of you, even though there were other models with you.

After that party, you two went on a formal date, having dinner and going to a Bon Jovi gig after.

You two became inseparable after that, going out on dates every weekend and talking through the phone every day.

Then, Axl's birthday party arrived, and he decided that it would be the perfect opportunity to introduce you to his bandmates.

You decided to wear a short satin white dress with some silver high heels.

You put on a simple makeup and applied some perfume, checking yourself in the mirror and liking the result.

You looked at your living room clock. 7:56 pm. He should be here soon. Sitting on your yellow couch, you played with your kitten's ears while waiting for him.

Suddenly you heard the house bell ringing. Getting up and stretching your dress, you walked towards the door, opening it slowly.

"Hi!" You smiled, seeing how handsome he was in his leather jacket and jeans.

"Hey, gorgeous!" He leaned in, giving you a quick kiss on the lips.

"You look stunning tonight!" He touched your hand and lifted it, motioning for you to make a spin, so he could see you better.

You chuckled a little. "You look great, baby."

He gave you one more kiss, this time a slower one. "Are you ready?"

"Yes!"

You said goodbye to your cat, closing and locking your front door, before walking with Saul to his car.

He drove for almost half an hour before you two got to Axl's mansion. It was huge and all its walls were painted white.

You locked your arm with Saul's, while you walked through the garden.

Once inside that blasting music took a hold of your ears. People from all over the house showed up to say Hi to Slash. He introduced you to all of them, always saying: "This is Y/N! My girlfriend!" Or "This is my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N!"

He looked so proud to be with you that you felt your love for him grow even more.

Love was a strong word. And it hadn't been said yet, but you knew you felt it.

You knew it, because every time he touched you, it was as if the world had stopped, and every time he called your name, it sounded like music. He was your first and last thought every day and you felt so glad that you met him.

But you hadn't said you loved him, and probably wouldn't, for now at least. It was still early and you were afraid that he would get scared by the gesture and would leave you.

The night went by, he introduced you to his bandmates and you really liked them. They were all nice to you, and introduced you to their girlfriends, making you feel yourself at home.

After a while you two parted ways, Saul went on with his friends, while you sat at the living room couch with Axl's girlfriend.

"Seriously, you're the only thing he's been talking about lately." She told you, taking a sip of her beer.

"I can't judge him, I think I do the same thing all day too." You chuckled.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"Yeah! I do!"

"I can see, there's a sparkle in your eyes when you're talking about him!" She smiled at you.

You chuckled, feeling your cheeks burn.

"Speaking about, have you seen him?"

"Not really, I think he's in the backyard with Ax."

"I think I'll look for him."

"Okay! Call me sometime so we can go shopping together!"

"Will do!"

You started walking through the crowd of people, everybody dancing, laughing and singing.

Spotting Duff with his girlfriend at the stairs, you got closer.

"Hey Duff, where's the backyard?"

He pointed to the kitchen direction, without parting his lips from hers.

"Thank you!"

He gave you a thumbs up.

Walking towards the kitchen you saw no other than Nikki Sixx himself. You were a huge fan, Motlëy Crüe was one of your favorite bands, so you decided to say Hi.

"Hi! Mr. Sixx? I'm Y/N Y/L/N!" You extended your hand for him to shake.

He looked at you and changed his posture, leaning against the kitchen's counter and shaking your hand.

"Call me Nikki!" He shouted over the music.

"I love your band! You guys are awesome!"

"Oh really, I'm glad to know that such a beautiful chick like you, likes us."

You felt your cheeks burn and giggled a little, putting a lock of your hair behind your ear.

"I have all your records, and got a tattoo!" You showed him the back part of your arm, where you had Motlëy's Girls Girls Girls logo on.

"Fucking nice!" He said touching your arm slightly.

You smiled at him.

"Are you here alone?" He asked.

"No. I'm with my boyfriend, actually."

"Hmm. He isn't very smart then, to let a girl like you alone here." He took a step closer.

"He doesn't have a reason to be worried." You replied stated, not liking the turn this conversation was taking.

You didn't notice that Slash had entered the kitchen, looking for you. He saw you and Nikki talking, you laughing at him, he getting closer to you, and his blood boiled.

"Are you sure?" Nikki took a step closer to you, his body almost pressed against yours. "He's not here now, and I can think about something very fun for us to do."

Before you could dismiss him, Saul arrived, circling your waist with his arm.

"Leave the girl alone, man!" He was drunk, you could tell by his voice.

"She doesn't seem to mind my company, bro."

Everyone around you stopped, even the music got quieter, everybody wanting to see the fight that was about to come.

"Stay the fuck away from my girl, Sixx!" He gritted his teeth.

"Oh, so you're the famous boyfriend? I think you don't really like her, since you left her all alone here."

That was it, Saul lost his temper and shoved Nikki with all his strength.

"I said: Stay away from my fucking girlfriend, Sixx!"

"Oh yeah? Or you gonna do what?"

Saul closed his fists, his knuckles getting white because of the strength.

You touched his shoulder, but he didn't seem to feel your touch. You got worried. What would you do if they started punching each other?

At that moment, Duff showed up. Saving the party.

"Wow, wow, wow, guys! Let's calm down ok?" He positioned himself in the middle or both men, towering over them.

"This is clearly a misunderstanding, let's have a drink and calm ourselves huh?"

They didn't seem to calm down.

"Come on guys, this is a fucking party! Let's not fuck this up alright!?"

Then, Tommy Lee showed up, grabbing Nikki's arm and pulling him away.

You got closer to Saul's ears and whispered. "Please, baby. Calm down!"

Your words seem to affect him, as he let go of a long breath and opened his hands again.

Everyone went back to the party, dancing and laughing again.

You grabbed Slash's hands, pulling him towards an open bedroom, closing the door once you were both inside.

"What the fuck was that?" It was your turn to get angry.

"I should be the one asking you! Why were you flirting with him?"

He had sobered up by now, the adrenaline affecting his body.

"I wasn't! I told him I had a boyfriend! And I could have handled that without making a scene if you hadn't shown up!"

"Bullshit!"

"Why did you make such a scene? I thought you guys were friends!"

"Friends don't flirt with your girlfriend!"

"He didn't even know I was your girlfriend, you didn't give me a chance to solve the shit!"

He ran his hands through his hair, groaning with annoyance.

"You looked like a fucking asshole out there! We could have dealt with that in a much calmer way!" You kept complaining.

"An asshole!? I looked like an asshole!? Well, I'm sorry if I get pissed when I see someone flirting with the woman I love!"

You froze. "Wait, what?"

"I fucking hate it. It looks like I mean nothing to you!"

"No. The other thing. You said you love me."

"I fucking do Y/N! I love you! And I see the way men look at you, and it lets me fucking crazy!"

You walked closer to him, cupping his face. "Hey! Calm down, baby!” He looked in your eyes, getting calmer “I love you too!"

He frowned.

"I don't care about how they look at me, because you're the only one I love!”

He let go of a long breath. "You do?"

"Yes, Saul! I love you!"

He hugged you, getting calmer. "I'm sorry. It's just that… you're fucking perfect, you know? And I don't wanna lose you!"

"You're not going to lose me, silly! I'm staying with you until you get bored with me." You pecked his lips.

"Then I guess you'll be staying with me forever."

"I don't see a problem with that." You put your hands on the back of his neck.

He grinned, involving you in a passionate kiss that stole your breath away.

#slash #slash imagine #slash x reader #slash fanfiction #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses fic #guns n roses x reader #harley writes

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k-s-morgan · 4 years ago

Note

I am really sorry you received that kind of ask. It is ok for different people to perceive things differently but sharing with you doesn't make sense since you clearly ship Hannigram. I have a genuine ask here. I came to know some of the main blogs. And they all turn out to be shipper of Hannigram or Hannibloom. I like some of the writing but some bloggers seem to demonize Will. Also why do you gloss over the problems and the abusive part to look like it is romantic. I am genuinely clueless.

Sorry if it came across as anything else, but my problem is that when I watched I saw those problems. Then what am I missing if so many bloggers are saying something else. Is it not true that abuse happened, Will was turned into something bad like Hannibal. They develop some bonding but how can that be good or true bonding ? It looks like trauma bonding on part of Will and obsession from Hannibal. And represents Will's seduction to madness and evil. How can this be love or good ?

And really sorry if this feels not ok ask for you since you ship it. I am confused about the romantic thing fans represent as if soulmate and true love. Then maybe fans like to imagine it's like that ? Or is it really seen as something sweet nice. It is ok if you don't wish to answer. Have a good day.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello! Don't worry, I don't mind getting genuine asks even if I disagree with them)

The first thing to understand is that no one thinks Hannigram is healthy or sweet by real-life standards. It's a dark romance between two awful people, so what's sweet for them is giving each other gifts made from corpses and sharing a cannibalistic dinner. Such pairing is not for everyone, so if dark romance isn't your sort of genre, you are highly unlikely to appreciate it. It's simply about preferences. You also need to understand that real-world morals cannot and shouldn't be applied to a show like this. Unless you can, you won't be able to understand why fans love Hannigram or even this show (and since it’s majorly about their relationship, it’s not surprising most fans ship it).

If you addressed the "glossing over abuse to make it romantic" part to me, then I have never done that) Most other fans don't do it either. 'Hannibal' is a very complex show. What Hannibal has been doing since the start of S1 is help Will accept himself and become stronger - this is a fact. Is it romantic? In a way, yes - he just met this man and became so invested that he started planning a family for them, taking personal risks to ensure that Will gets freed from society's expectations. Is it a normal thing to do and is such 'tough love' approach acceptable in real life? Of course not. That's why the two shouldn't be confused. 'Hannibal' is pure fiction, a show set in a heightened reality, so any attempts to tie it to our standards will inevitably fail.

Hannibal's behavior in S1 can indeed be described as abuse, though the situation is far more layered than that. For one thing, his end-goal is Will's happiness - it's not his delusion, it's what he knows Will is going to have once he stops hating himself and accepts himself as he is. For another, Hannibal is a killer who cannot allow Will to see him until he's sure Will won't turn on him. It's not a typical relationship.

How is what Will Becomes a result of trauma bonding? Will is extremely far from being fragile. He saw who Hannibal is at the end of S1, felt furious and betrayed, and for the half of S2, he was planning revenge. He was cold, manipulative, and deadly - and fully in his right mind. He started opening up to Hannibal again only after he realized that Hannibal does love him and wants to help him - and that he's right about who Will is. Even then, Will hasn't been fully on his side until S2 finale - he couldn't forgive Hannibal for Abigail. What they share starting from the middle of S2 is mutual understanding. Will has been lonely all his life. He knows normal people can't understand him, can't accept his darker impulses, but Hannibal can. Hannibal encourages him and supports him wholeheartedly, and Will is drawn to that. Like he says later, "I've never known myself as well as I know myself when I'm with him."

As for demonizing Will - Will is a bad person. The show, the showrunners, the actors all present him as Hannibal's soulmate, so obviously, he cannot be someone good and innocent (you can check some of the interviews here). The degree of his badness can be interpreted differently, but there are some indisputable canon facts: Will loves killing, enjoys making artful displays out of corpses, willingly engages in cannibalism, chooses a serial killer above everyone else repeatedly, toys with people like Chiyoh and her prisoner (who Will assumed might not even be guilty) by making one kill another, sets up a man like Chilton for horrific torture and says he deserved it for being vain, sets up police officers to die with no regret or confusion to break Hannibal free. If you want more specific canon reminders, I suggest checking this post.

Being seen is a huge theme in this show, and Hannibal isn't the only person who wants it - Will wants it, too. Every time Will does something morally bad, like kill someone or cover for Hannibal, he makes his own conscious decision. He consciously decided to throw away a gun and attack Randall with his hands; he consciously decided to cut some meat from him and eat it with Hannibal, even though Hannibal already trusted him completely; he consciously saved Hannibal from Mason and decided against arresting him in that same episode, etc. Will has agency. He's responsible for his own actions - Hannibal, in turn, admires him for his unpredictability.

This bonding is good in terms of the world of the show and Will and Hannibal as individuals. They stop being lonely and find a partner. Obviously, it's not good for other people or in the real life.

Also: the show presents their relationship as romantic and them as soulmates. It's very important to remember this. Bryan Fuller has been calling 'Hannibal' a love story for many years. The words about it being love sound several times in the show itself. Music, setting, lines, events - everything invites you to root for Will and Hannibal. Of course, you can do the opposite, but this is how the show is structured. Darkness is alluring here; killing someone together is a consummation of a relationship; being true to yourself, even if you're a murderer, is encouraged and celebrated. If you cannot buy the show's surreal, blood-soaked logic, then you're unlikely to enjoy it - and that's okay. But fans merely react to what they are shown.

In the end, Hannibal sacrificed everything for Will, from his reputation to freedom and life. Will chose Hannibal above everyone and everything. They fell from the cliff together under the “Love Crime” song. It’s as romantic as it gets) Darkly romantic, yes - but that’s the point.

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter

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thisdreamplace · 3 years ago

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I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

#eiypo

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thattimdrakeguy · 5 years ago

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Toxicity, gaslighting, hypocrisy, an overall just bad fandom folks on twitter.

I’m glad I’m not involved with twitter comic fandom cuz the amount of people trying to make Tim look bad like throwing a fit cuz he’s under too much pressure or like-- not being a saint. While calling characters that constantly murder people or violate human rights “baby” is way too high.

Even just the minor lies are nutty, acting like the 90s edgy art style at the time shows Tim is twisted cuz he looks scary in it-- when it’s just dated art

But then-- complain when people say things out of context for other characters-- when the context doesn't make it better. I really can’t process those people. they confuse me.

Also one of them apparently said Tim being a rich white kid makes him a power fantasy? Which is superficial at best when applied to Tim given when you read 90s Robin-- (Which I assume they’re complaining about, cuz he still lives away from Bruce then-- cuz otherwise Jason would technically count as a rich kid) Tim is just this dorky kid, who’s scared on the inside, putting on a brave face and fighting crime and his insecurity problem. He’s not some masculine power fantasy, he’s a relateable kid, his wealth besides being able to spend money in his first mini was even portrayed negatively if any thing sometimes with his dad as having been away for a lot of his childhood and leaving Tim without proper social development and being pretty socially clueless to the point it‘s a problem he has no street smarts.

So pretty much just gaslighting and strawman arguments.

You’re racist if you don’t like Damian.

You hate poor people if you don’t like Jason.

You’re sexist if you don’t like Stephanie.

But I’m someone who still likes Jason a lot even if I don’t like any thing in the Red Hood era not done by Winnick (and even then there’s a scene in Lost Days that creeps me out), and used to like Damian and Steph, I just stopped liking them because I just found myself realizing I don’t particularly like a lot of their writing.

At the same time as well, isn’t it just more reasonable that people don’t like them cuz of simple taste or their character actions?

Damian does kidnap people and violates people’s human rights currently, and did chemically paralyze and trigger Jon in their first meeting, as well as smacks him for freaking out later on that miniseries.

If you made Steph a dude, more people would be very likely to call Steph a sexual harasser for flirting with Tim past what he’s comfortable with, even with the knowledge he has a girlfriend. Plus she has shown dangerous cynicism in nearly letting criminals die, and even tendencies found in emotional abusers given her gaslighting, ill-trust, and attempts to go behind Tim's back, and even throwing crap at him while refusing to talk as he’s trying to apologize for some thing he didn’t actually do.

Not even to say Tim is a saint, he’s shown to be insensitive, and condescending, but if you start with his origin and not Red Robin, in my experience it ‘s more likely you’ll read him as a socially oblivious boy scout-esque kid rather than an angsty jerk. Doesn’t make what he did not bad, but just more interesting, because if a character is a saint it‘s boring, and Tim's actual original character makes what he does less offending to people. He has gotten incredibly pissed off at his friends, but ... he’s a literal kid that has to lead other kids with super powers. It‘s bad that he threw fits, but it ‘s never done in a way that makes it feel like “Oh i must hate this character”. Damian is also a kid, but what he does is way more notably offending to some people. He has a bad backstory but it is fiction, people have different standards with specific actions depending on how they feel about it. It‘s not illogical to be fine with a socially oblivious kid being insensitive but not be fine with a character that consistently does bad things even after they’re aware it‘s bad.

(Heck, Tim even cheated on his girlfriend, but given how that whole storyline chunk was written, it‘s more out of character and an example of bad writing than anything else, given how Tim feels on the topic of cheating before and after, as well as how much he cared about Ari. It was inconsistent and even the writing breezes past reality with how Ari suddenly agrees to mutually break up. I don’t believe the story actually treats it fully as cheating either, making it feel like they knew. So it feels more like bad writing than a thing to judge Tim on, because that‘s just something people use to criticize bad writing, quite commonly even with many shows or movies. I can still get why people don’t care. It‘s more of a writing complaint. Like Jason being a serial killer is. It‘s inconsistent, doesn't add up, and isn’t a good reflection of the character.)

If you are fine with it is some thing else, cuz that‘s a matter of tastes.

I actually started calling Tim “baby” cuz Damian fans called Damian baby-- which I find a bit more odd (sometimes honestly just worried given the crap he does in the images they say that to some of the time), cuz while I’m aware Damian is younger obviously, he’s only cute in pandering moments that‘d I’d actually deem ooc, using basic standards that it isn’t consistent with anything before and after, as well as not fitting who the character is or even built up properly if they even try. (Also cuz Aunt May called Peter and friends babies and thought it was charming). My blog as well is about 90s Tim Drake as well, where’d he’d be a year off of the same age as Damian mainly, I may call him baby past that age, but that‘s just cuz it‘s s tuck in my head now. I really can’t picture calling RR Tim baby in fandom usage of the word (which is the only way I use it) if that was the only way he’s ever been.

Like with characters I start from the beginning (besides Dick and Bruce cuz gosh that’d take forever) and judge what ‘s in-character from there and read, while noticing development as well as things they’ve done. i didn’t read Red Robin first, I read Robin first. I didn’t read Batgirl first I read her Robin appearances first. When I studied Jason I wen t with his post-crisis Robin run (I deem pre-crisis Jason a different character given so much is different the same way i do with the New 52 teen titans core four generally speaking besides comparing to pre-New 52 versions). When I went to study Damian for stuff I read his first appearances forward much the same. And at one point in time I liked all these characters, I judged them based off of reading them.

So I’m not someone with just a bias-- I’m aware some of my friends do, but I’m not my friends if that wasn’t obvious. I’m friends with some people that like vastly different things than me even.

All I can say in the end is that it bugs me that toxic people have convinced themselves they are some victim while spreading harassment, lies, and gaslighting, because other people just enjoy different things or read things differently.

A lot of these people bother me especially because they frame themselves or the character they like as some victim they have to defend, and even target specific people over, when they themselves are the ones showing basic toxic behavior. they are the toxic ones yet believe they’re the victim-- cuz someone read a comic differently or didn’t like the same character as them.

That is nuts to me

I’ve even had to deal with similar people since I gotten called a racist for not liking Damian-- when I’ve even mentioned that I’ve liked Damian previously, and explained I simply didn’t like his comic or his writing enough to reasonably like him. Meaning I guess the action of not liking Damian-- in of itself-- is racist, which is gaslighting at best. I’m sure someone out there even hates Damian because they’re racist, but why treat everyone (or at least some notable chunk to be worth talking about) that doesn't like him as if they’re that person?

They’d rather believe that people that don’t like what they do must be terrible people of some kind rather than treat them as normal people.

They’ve even showed hypocritical behavior, by complaining of others not giving context-- while doing the same thing to other characters.

As I said, I’m not on comic book twitter, I have not even interacted with these people. I’ve just seen it, and it‘s just so toxic to me. It‘s a bad thing to see over fiction.

#tim drake #Robin #DC Comics #fandom toxicity #discourse

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nabtime · 4 years ago

Photo

Hold My Broken Hands, Ignite My Burning Heart

1h27min/25 songs that make me think of Tododeku in different ways

Fire - Diskopunk // Out of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums // Aawake at Night - halfalive // Bad Liar - Selena Gomez // Collide - Howie Day // Falling For U - Peachy!, mxmtoon // Crush - Tessa Violet // Would You Be So Kind - dodie // Please Notice - Christian Leave // I See You - MISSIO // Talk Too Much - COIN // Tongue Tied - Grouplove // When the Day Met the Night - Panic! at the Disco // First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes // Home to You - Sigrid // Fall On Me - A Great Big World // Grow As We Go - Ben Platt // Two - Sleeping at Last // High Hope - Patrick Droney // Talk to Me - Cavetown // Sunkissed - khai dreams // I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill // Pink in the Night - Mitski // Laundry Room - The Avett Brothers // Brand New Day - Kodaline

explanations for song choice under the cut ! its looooong

Fire - “When I saw you a fire / Started in my heart / I looked at you again / Yeah, you've burned from the start”

Every tododeku fic youve ever read has a moment like this or a moment similar. izuku has to light shouto on fire either metaphorically or literally. “It’s your power, isn’t it?” This song is for that. its about a spark that ignites between them, whatever the catalyst, and sets the world around them ablaze (wonder, gratitude, amazement, relief, an all-encompassing light and bubbly feeling that leaves them stunned and in love)

Out of My League - “You were out of my league / Got my heartbeat racing / If I die, don't wake me / 'Cause you are more than just a dream”

both of these idiots, at one point or another, think that the other one is out of their league. Izuku is far too cute and personable and an over all sunshine beacon and obviously he is far too good of a person to ever be in Todoroki’s league and Todoroki is far too beautiful and composed and an over all competent badass to ever be in Midoriya’s league

Aawake at Night - “ Alone in a crowded room / My eyes will search for you / Abandoned by my company / I'll search for what's in front of me / And hope that I find something new”

a tribute to those fics where Midoriya and Todoroki meet at a party. where they lock eyes and everything begins from there bc damn if they hadn’t just spotted the hottest person theyd ever seen. its about those fics where theyre both awkward wallflowers finding solidarity in not wanting to be at this party that their friends dragged them and abandoned them in

Collide - “ I'm open, you're closed / Where I follow, you'll go / I worry I won't see your face / Light up again / Even the best fall down sometimes / Even the wrong words seem to rhyme / Out of the doubt that fills my mind / I somehow find / You and I collide”

what is this an early 20s comedy show that has its surprisingly deep/romantic subplot moments? absolutely and there’s noting you can do about it. its about Midoriya punching Todoroki with friendship and then showing him via the dekusquad how to be a person and that friendship slowly evolving into love. its about Midoriya being fumbling and awkward sometimes bc this is the first time hes ever had friends or a crush that he actually talks to?? on a regular basis?? and even though getting together is a clumsy mess they still come together

Bad Liar - “ Oh I'm tryin' / Not to think about you / With my feelings on fire / Guess I'm a bad liar “

Theyre gay and trying to repress their feelings and thankfully its not really working out for them. its about the boys trying so so hard to not be in love with the other for whatever reasons the fic has (he’s my best friend and i dont wanna ruin it, obviously he doesnt like me like that, my father would kill him, etc etc) and failing miserably.

Falling For U - “ I didn't wanna believe my feelings for you / I didn't wanna believe that I could lose you / If I told you just how I felt “

Gay repression and mutual pining take 2 ! but also including That Moment when oh everything comes together and oh my goodness im in love ?? and Midoriya cant believe the world is crashing down around him and Todoroki has set himself on fire and theyre both so dense and suffering from so much emotional trauma but here they are, in love.

Crush - “ You make it difficult to not overthink / And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink, ah / I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird / It's such a rush, I'm thinking wish you were here, ah-ahh “

doesnt matter when the fic is set, if theyre teenagers or adults, these boys are the epitome of puppy love crushes and blushes and fumbled awkward words and gestures and not quite knowing what to do with their feelings and theyre both so anxious about and its always such a relief to find out that its all mutual but still, having that crush is always like being hit over the head with affection

Would You Be So Kind - “ Oh would you be / So kind / As to fall in love with me, you see / I'm trying / I know you know that I like you / But that's not enough / So if you will / Please fall in love “

oooo its about that sweet sweet mutual pining that they both thing will forever remain unrequited and that yearning for the other to love just as much as them. its about the boys falling into daydreams about what it would be like if their feelings were mutual. its about that first fumbling confession maybe where its either todoroki being blunt or midoriya finally scraping together his courage and always always saying “its okay if you dont feel the same, we can forget this and still be friends, but i need you to know...” and its about hoping, hoping so much, that they wont stay friends and that maybe, if the other takes the chance, he’ll fall in love too (even tho he’s already there) its about skirting the edge of friendship and pushing boundaries into the romantic hoping that it sparks something (even tho it already has) its about fake dating with a crush and never demanding that the other not fall in love (bc maybe theres hope)

Please Notice - “ Do you know how in love with you / I am / Do you see how in love with you / I am / Every thing that you do, it makes my heart stop / Oh, it stops / And baby when you sleep, do you dream of me? “

its about that hope again. its about midoriya staying up so late at night overthinking everything hes ever done and wondering if todoroki is just humoring him bc his crush on the other is just so so obvious and it feels so awful to know that hes so obvious and todoroki is just playing along and he wonders if todoroki really knows how much he loves him. its about todoroki in his own room, worrying about the same thing. its about noticing the little things about each other. its about already knowing a whole host of secrets and knowing its okay to trust themselves to the other. its about midoriya noticing everything about todoroki and detailing all his little ticks and favorite things in his notebooks and hoping that todoroki notices just as many things about him, wanting the other to feel the same depth of feelings. its about todoroki becoming more and more emotionally aware (heroes can cry too) and noticing everything about midoriya and thinking hes just cataloging everything he’d need to take down a rival but do you really need to know all of someones different smiles in order to fight them?

I See You - “ I'm alone with you / You're alone with me / And I'm hoping that you will see yourself / Like I see you / Yes, I see you “

its about mutually loving each other even in the hard times, even in the sad times. its about that sweet sweet hurt/comfort that the both of them inevitably have to have bc of the trauma each of them have faced either in their childhood or together as heroes. its about being able to see through the masks that they both have whether it be a stoic one or a smile. its about hoping that the other will see their own inherent worth past their hurting and understand why they love them. its about hoping the other will see how much they love them

Talk Too Much - “ You know I talk too much / Honey, come put your lips on mine and shut me up / We could blame it all on human nature / Stay cool, it's just a kiss / Oh, why you gotta be so talkative? / I talk too much, we talk too much “

a cute and silly song about midoriya being overly talkative bc hes a little chatterbox and we all know that todoroki loves it but sometimes it get a little frustrating when he wants kisses instead of the fifty-third rant about all mights golden age costume design (really todo it was a brilliantly done color scheme and- and the symbolism!) and maybe sometimes even midoriya would rather be kissing than talking too

Tongue Tied - “ I loved you then and I love you now / Oh yeah / Don't take me tongue tied / Don't wave no goodbye “

kinda debated about whether or not this one fit enough to keep but its a bop so it stays. its mostly the tongue tied part of the lyrics that apply bc both the boys get a little mixed up and tongue tied when it comes to talking to each other when theyre in love and crushing hard ( mostly midoriya but todoroki too)

When the Day Met the Night - “ When the moon fell in love with the sun / All was golden in the sky / All was golden when the day met the night “

do i really need to day more than sun and moon motif tododeku? its about izuku bringing warmth back to shoutos life and shouto being a steady gentle presence for izuku. its about izuku being able to light up a room and shouto being full of radiant grace and the two coming together as opposites in harmony

First Day of My Life - “ Yours was the first face that I saw / I think I was blind before I met you / And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been / But I know where I want to go / And so I'd thought I'd let you know / Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow / But I realized that I need you / And I wondered if I could come home “

we’re getting into the really mushy gushy songs that make me sigh like a lovelorn maiden or something. i love this one for tododeku especially with the sports festival in mind as a sort of awakening. like shouto had only just realized what it was like to fully live for himself bc of izuku. izuku really opened up a path for him and guided him out of his misery into a brand new life full of acceptance and love. and shouto was there to return that love tenfold to izuku who hadnt really ever felt such devotion before. its about finally realizing that they can be so good together. its about wanting to come home to each other

Home to You - “ But I see the world so different now / But there's a place by the sea and that's my town / When I don't know what to say / When I don't know what to do / There's a room I need to sit in / Surrounded by my favorite view / When I need a hand to hold / Someone to tell the truth / Would it be okay if I came home to you? “

One of my favorite ooey gooey songs about coming home and finding solace in another, which is just so perfect for tododeku. i love it when shouto feels like izuku is his home. that hes never felt like he truly belonged anywhere before he started belonging in izukus arms, holding his hand, and loving him. i feel like they would be good for settling each others doubts and fears. izuku worries that hes not good enough, that he needs to do more in whatever hes doing, that he will once again be found useless. but shouto is no nonsense enough to tell him straight that hes enough, hes wonderful, and already does so so much that its astounding and izuku cant help but to believe him. and when shouto starts to think hes like his father too much in the wrong way, starting to doubt is path in life, or thinks that his trauma makes him too difficult to deal with. but izuku is far too open and loving and shouto knows hes far too good to ever let shouto be what he fears most and izuku is there to remind him of all the good things hes done to earn that love. its about both of them being emotionally repressed in different ways and not knowing what to do or what to say but finding a way to communicate with each other anyway.

Fall On Me - “ Fly like a cannonball straight to my soul / Tear me to pieces and make me feel whole / I'm willing to fight for it / To feel something new / To know what it's like to be sharing a space with you “

there can be a lot of challenges for the boys depending on the setting their relationship takes place in; shouto’s father always plays a role, kacchans attitude whether a constant interference or a ghost of izuku’s past, acceptance from the outside world, acceptance from friends and family, power imbalance (shoutos a prince and izukus a servant/knight/random adventurer) and a whole host of fic specific issues. this is about falling in love with each other despite them all, this is about begging each other to fall despite the dangers, this is about fighting to be together anyway. this is about finding an impossible love that shocks your soul and embracing it with all your heart.

Grow As We Go - “ I don't know who we'll become / I can't promise it's not written in the stars / But I believe that when it's done / We're gonna see that it was better / That we grew up together / Tell me you don't wanna leave / 'Cause if change is what you need / You can change right next to me / When you're high, I'll take the lows / You can ebb and I can flow / We'll take it slow / And grow as we go “

you know some of those fics that hurt good bc mostly izuku but sometimes also shouto decide that their hero careers need to come first and that having a relationship would only interfere with that despite the fact that they love each other a lot? this is the song that plays when they realize that’s not true and come together and decide to be together anyway and that theyll be stronger for it. its about growing together as a couple as well as separately and still loving each other even through the changes. its about rising through the ranks together. learning about the world, together. and its about taking on any challenge thrown at them. together. growing, changing, loving.

Two - “ I know exactly how the rule goes / Put my mask on first / No, I don't want to talk about myself / Tell me where it hurts / I just want to build you up, build you up / 'Til you're good as new / And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too / Like a force to be reckoned with / A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss / I will love you with every single thing I have / Like a tidal wave, I'll make a mess / Or calm waters, if that serves you best / I will love you without any strings attached “

listen listen this song is so so so good for tododeku like look at those lyrics i just wanna cry about it. its about highlighting the flaws that can happen in their relationship when theyre both trying to fix the other more than to help themselves (especially izuku like baby boy please) its about making the promise to love each other unconditionally bc neither have really had that before outside of their moms? (and shoutos sibs) love without strings attached (doesnt matter if you were quirkless, doesnt matter if youre not the number one hero, doesnt matter that youve been through so much trauma ill help you and love you anyway) both of them striving to be the best fit for the other either a tidal wave or calm waters, eaither righteous fury or gentle love and its about just being so so thankful that they love each other even through the hard times

High Hope - “ Know you're coming from a bad place / Honey, I was there just yesterday / So I know the time it's gonna take / For you to feel like you again / And I'll be here if you need me / If you don't, just know / I've got a high, high, high, high hope “

this about past trauma and shared trauma and healing both on their own and together and knowing their relationship can weather through it all. this is about izuku comforting shouto through everything about his father and his family and the feelings that dredge up when someone asks about endeavor and its about shouto helping izuku through his complicated relationship with katsuki and how he flinches when a villain says his hero name in just the wrong tone. its about izuku covering shoutos scar with kisses and its about shouto tracing his fingers along the scar tissue on izukus hands. its about being patient and waiting and helping each other through times that feel like just too much to handle.

Talk to Me - “ You don't have to be a hero to save the world / You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique / You don't have to know what to say or what to think / You don't have to be anybody you can never be / That's alright, let it out, talk to me “

its about both of them living up to the high expectations placed on their shoulders and telling each other that theyre enough. that izuku doesnt have to be the next symbol of peace exactly like all might. that shouto doesnt have to be the number one hero exactly like his father. its about encouraging each other to talk even though their both bad at it; izuku mumbles and stutters and takes forever to get to the point and shouto takes a long time to say what hes thinking and form it all into words and sometimes he still cant find the right ones. but shouto is patient and so is izuku.

Sunkissed - “ So slowly a sunlit dream pulls me out of sleep / Feel the morning through the blinds / I turn my head to meet your sunkissed face / In this quite place I can give you all my time “

the ooiest and gooiest and again with all the sunlight that always used as a lovely motif. izuku is always lit up like the sun and shoutos hair always catches the light just so. its about finding each other and falling into a home and comfort together and being disgustingly in love with each other. its about the comfort that comes after the hurt and being happy and being at peace with each other

I Do Adore - “ When you're near, I hide my blushing face / And trip on my shoelaces / Grace just isn't my forté / But it brings me to my knees when you say / Hello, how are you, my darling, today? / I fall into a pile on the floor / Puppy love is hard to ignore / When every little thing you do, I do adore “

ah another cute to emphasize that both the boys are dorks and sometimes even when theyve established that they like each other they cant help but combust into blushing messes. its about how sometimes shouto still lights himself on fire when izuku has a rare bout of confidence and really zuku that was very bold and my heart cant take it and about how shouto can still shock izuku speechless with a few well timed kisses

Pink in the Night - “ I could stare at your back all day / And I know I've kissed you before, but / I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again / Try again, and again, and again “

izukus got a nice strong back and so does shouto (theyre heroes of course they cut a nice figure) and sometimes shouto gets lost in daydreams and sometimes izuku does too and its about the soft soft kisses that neither can get enough of. its about the yearning despite finding each other bc sometimes it doesnt feel real and ya gotta kiss again and again just to make sure and honestly its a mitski song what more to you want from me

Laundry Room - “ Don't push me out / Just a little longer / Stall your mother / Disregard your father's words / Close the laundry door / Tiptoe across the floor / Keep your clothes on / I've got all that I can take / Teach me how to use / The love that people say you made “

theres just so many fics about laundry? what makes doing laundry together so intimate? sharing detergent and smelling like each others clothes? showing a part of yourself to someone else? anyway, its about love and being home with each other and wishing the love will last. its about sometimes things dont end so well and you want to turn back time and sometimes izuku leaves and sometimes shouto runs but most times one or the other comes back and it all hurts but the love again is worth it

Brand New Day - “ I'll be flicking stones at your window / I'll be waiting outside 'til you're ready to go / Won't you come down? Come away with me / Think of all the places we could be / I'll be waiting, waiting on a brand new day “

its about running away together or just traveling the word together or going out on a journey (always together) its about izuku wanting to go to the states for hero work or about prince shouto needing to complete a quest to be free of his father and its about izuku not wanting to go without shouto and about prince shouto only loving the journey after picking up a stray green-haired adventurer. its about beginning something new together, its about ending one chapter and starting another.

oh tha t took soooooo long . .. anyway ! hope you enjoyed !!!

#tododeku #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #naps mixes

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