#obviously this does not apply to certain people but if they want to understand they will try and that's what matters

[it-was-dead-when-i-found-it]

Most of the time, not always but much of the time, my experience has found that any LGBT+phobia you might encounter in someone is simply ignorance that, once removed, reveals compassion in its place

Today I explained why I can't really travel to Florida right now to my dad & watching him get increasingly frustrated with the realization that Transphobia Exists was honestly something else.

him: "well if you're not allowed to use the men's bathroom, just go to the women's! that'll show them."

me: "yeah but I'm just as likely to have the cops called on me for 'using the wrong bathroom' in there. have you seen me lately?"

him: "but if one of the options is wrong and not allowed then the other one has to be the right option. what do they want you to do?"

my grandma, helpfully: "I think they want trans people to not go to Florida"

my dad: spluttering frustratedly

me: "I think the thing is that you are more logical and reasonable than Ron DeSantis."

the face of a semi-reformed(?) conservative when realizing with dawning horror that laws can be unfair on purpose is truly special tbh

[nohoperadio]

That cool bee book I was talking about a while ago mostly refrains from philosophical digressions (which I think is a strength, I appreciated how the author had total confidence that just clearly presenting the facts about his subject would be enough to make a fascinating book without the need for any "...and here's why that should blow your mind" editorializing, and he's totally right), but there was one towards the end I've found myself thinking about a lot, which is: he wants people to stop using "self-consciousness" (i.e. the concept exemplified by the mirror test but used implicitly or explicitly in tons of other contexts) as a criterion for which animals can be considered sentient/morally relevant/having significant inner lives/however you want to describe it. Not, as you might expect, because he thinks it's an unreasonably high bar to meet, but because it's such a low bar that it produces no distinctions: he argues that basically any animal with any kind of developed central nervous system has to have some kind of self-consciousness almost by definition.

The example I remember best is: imagine you can see an object in your visual field getting closer to you. No matter the specifics, it's obviously always going to make a huge difference to how you evaluate this situation whether the cause of the object getting closer is a] the object is moving towards you, or b] you are moving towards the object. If a, then something might be pursuing you or falling on you or a thousand other things that are just not even worth considering in the case of b. But visually the two cases are indistinguishable; if you're going to be able to track the difference, your brain has to be putting at least some work into keeping tabs on what your own intentions are and what choices you're making as you move through the world, predicting the expected consequences of those choices, and maintaining a fairly tidy mental separation between stuff in the world that you're making happen and stuff in the world that's just happening of its own volition. Otherwise, every time you walk towards a rock you'll freak out and think the rock is rolling into you, or vice versa.

And it's not hard to see how this applies to your entire sensory world right, it applies to sounds and tactile sensations and even feelings internal to your body to some extent, if you're going to both perceive the world and take actions in the world then it's mandatory to mentally separate yourself and the world before that's going to yield even an ounce of helpful information, you just can't function successfully on the most basic level if you're processing stuff that you're doing on the same level as stuff that's happening, if you're in that state then you simply don't have a usable model of the world at all, you just have chaos.

So you can very easily eliminate a certain seductive narrative about the evolution of consciousness, which starts with very primitive animals who are mentally processing nothing but basic sensory inputs, then as you rise up the chain more complex animals are forming concepts of objects and building up a more nuanced understanding of the world, until finally you approach humans and the mind becomes so subtle and sophisticated that it gains access to this special advanced meta-level of thought where it can even understand itself! No, the self is precisely the one idea that has to be in place from the very beginning, before any of it has even the most rudimentary practical value. Self-consciousness isn't the pinnacle of the mind's evolution, it's one of the lowest, most basic foundations that everything else builds off of.

I think this is really cool stuff! I don't know enough about the relevant academic philosophy of mind debates to say how far all this does or doesn't speak to that, maybe someone will tell me the "self-consciousness" concept being attacked here is a strawman somehow, I don't know. But it's definitely impacted the way I (just a dumb guy who likes creatures) think about our small small cousins and what their lives might be like and I think it's super interesting. If you think it's interesting too then maybe you wanna buy The Mind of a Bee by Lars Chittka and read it. It's mostly not about this stuff, as I say it's light on philosophy and heavy on bee-life immersion, but if you actually read this whole post then you're probably in the market for that I feel like.

[sabertoothwalrus]

I'm going to think out loud about the dungeon meshi ages for a sec

I'm going to preface this by saying that this is based on my existing knowledge, and fact checking is difficult because there is A LOT of contentious research out there.

First of all, I think a lot of people come at this from a modern lens, forgetting the context that this is fantasy medieval era. this is fiction. on top of that, this is specifically Ryoko Kui's understanding of medieval era aging. plus fantasy. So before anyone comes at me with a bunch of 'ermmmm actualy's just consider that I don't really care and also it might not matter in this context lol

as far as the "age of maturity" assigned for each race, something I don't see many people talk about is that "teenagers" are a fairly recent concept. For a long time, you were either considered A Kid or Not A Kid. but this doesn't necessarily mean kids were more/less developed then, just our cultural expectations for certain age groups have changed.

Laios says the age of maturity for tallmen is 16. I don't think that means 16 year olds in the dungeon meshi universe are necessarily "more mature" than modern 16 year olds, but moreso that they have more responsibilities. However, things like medicine, smoking, drinking, sun exposure, physical activity, etc all affect age, so it's possible that developmentally they're closer to modern 18 year olds? Izutsumi is 17 (less than two weeks from turning 18, actually), and very much acts like a modern 17 year old.

The age of maturity for half-foots is 14. Chilchuck was 13 when he got married and had his first two children. Even though, at age 29, he's the equivalent of a modern 50 year old, I don't think he was That much more developed at 13 than a tallman. I think if half-foot 14 is equal to tallman 16, then Chilchuck was Pretty Damn Young for a parent LMAO. Even if you're generous and say tallman 16 is a modern 18, he still would've been younger than that.

The long-lived races are interesting. Marcille is obviously a unique case, and not a lot of this applies to her. We do know what Senshi was like as a minor (miner, lol), and he seemed like a modern 15ish, considering he was 36 and dwarf maturity is 40. I think it'd be really interesting to delve into how a culture functions with people being developmentally adolescent for soooooo long. Imagine middle school lasting 20 years. that would fucking suck. I suppose it makes sense why long-lived races are so patronizing.

Moving onto lifespans, I want to emphasize that they're average lifespans. Even in the manga, they say some half-foots live to 100, it's just rare. So it's less that a tallman 60 year old is "older" than a modern 60 year old, it's that it's easier to keep people alive for longer nowadays. Modern medicine is a BIG contributor. Dental health as well, considering how much your health is affected by your diet (and how much the action of chewing alone aids in digestion). Curious to know what the FUCK elven dentistry is like.

It also makes me wonder if half-foots would have a longer average lifespan if they weren't like, used for bait and treated so poorly, but half-foot 29 does seem to be middle-aged for half-foots. so who knows!

In that vein, I don't know if I can see Mithrun quite making it to 400 😬 like, his experience as a dungeon lord took a lot out of him quite literally, and he's doing exceptionally well despite it! I imagine he'd eventually start to develop a lot of heart problems if he doesn't have them already. Perhaps early-onset dementia. His memory seems still quite intact (he corrects Kabru on his story's accuracy) and he doesn't act like, lobotomized. He doesn't seem forgetful or confused, and he has a sense of humor/sarcasm still. It's mostly his task initiation that's been affected.

I almost want to say that mana affinity could affect long-lived races' lifespans, except dwarves have very poor tolerance for mana, so it's probably not that.

okay anyway I didn't really have a point to this post so I'm just gonna end my rambling here

[subway-tolkien]

Okay, this is 1600 words of (positive!) meta regarding the OFMD finale. Included is character analysis and a treatise on why a certain trope people keep throwing around does not apply here.

This is of course just my take, and I'm sure people will disagree, but I needed to get this out. Apologies if it comes off disjointed, I've had like no sleep.

Spoilers within, obviously. You have been warned. Heed the tags. I didn't tag any characters because I consider it a spoiler, but you know who this is about.

Listen. Listen.

Let me start off by saying I have been where you are. I’ve had beloved characters die, either because it was important to the narrative or for shock value. I’ve been there, so I’m not coming at this without empathy. I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him as a character. I’m truly sad to see him go.

But from what I’m seeing around Twitter and tumblr, some of you do not understand the role of an antagonist in a story.

Izzy was always meant to die. The moment he said, in the first season, “the only retirement we get is death,” I knew he was meant to die in the end. The foreshadowing ran through both seasons. Izzy was the true antagonist of S1. He was there to keep Blackbeard tethered when he started pulling away, and yet he also set the plot in motion. He inadvertently introduced Blackbeard to the person who let him be just Ed. He put Ed on his own path to redemption without even knowing it.

S1 ended with Izzy getting what he wanted as Ed lost everything he had. S2 was about Izzy coming to terms with the fact that he’d gone too far, he’d turned Ed into a monster. It wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Blackbeard back, just like old times. Instead, he got the Kraken, and it was more than he bargained for.

Especially after it cost him his leg and he realized how far gone Ed really was. The conversation that ended with Izzy’s half-assed suicide attempt was the final blow to Izzy—Ed really didn’t seem to care anymore. Where Izzy wanted him to stop giving a shit about his silly boyfriend, he instead got a Blackbeard who didn’t care about anything, and he was apparently now included in that category.

(I said half-assed suicide attempt because Izzy wasn’t meant to die then, THAT would have been an empty, pointless death. It wouldn’t have taught Ed anything—in fact, all it did was make him more self-destructive, which was Izzy’s purpose to the narrative, but not his endgame. That Ed thought Izzy killed himself pushed Ed to the brink. Ed wanted to die and take every scrap of Blackbeard with him. Had Izzy successfully killed himself, Ed and the Revenge would be at the bottom of the ocean.

It wasn’t until the crew left Izzy the unicorn leg that he realized the power of compassion, the incredible act of grace from a crew that suffered so much from Izzy’s own machinations and didn't need to forgive him. It moved him to tears, and it moved him to accept that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to let people in, to let himself be cared for. It was a foreign concept and something Izzy likely hadn’t experienced since losing his family (I fully expect a shit ton of fanfic of Izzy’s life before piracy).

Israel Hands found the capacity to let love all the way in and by god, did he pursue it.

But, again, Izzy was always meant to die, and I’m glad they stuck to the narrative they set out with instead of placating fandom and letting our influence dictate how they told this story That’s never good, trust me. Fandom should not influence a creator’s decisions regarding their own characters. It rarely if ever ends well.

[Stares in Voltron S8]

And I see a lot of people out here throwing the “bury your gays” phrase around—I beg you, please look up the definition of the trope. Izzy didn’t die because he was queer, he didn’t die because of his disability. He wasn’t one half of the only queer couple in the show fridged for shock value. He wasn’t killed off due to pressure from conservative viewers. He wasn’t the only queer, disabled character.

They didn’t kill off Lucius, or Jackie, or Wee John. Would you be as outraged if it was any of them?

Killing Eve is bury your gays. Supernatural is bury your gays. Pretty much any film, book, TV show, whatever, where a queer character dies because they’re queer, of AIDs, to further the narrative for a straight person, etc—that is burying your gays.

Izzy’s death was none of those things. Izzy’s death had meaning.

Izzy’s death freed Ed from the Blackbeard persona. It finally forced Izzy to say the things he couldn’t say until he realized it was his last chance. Izzy was also tired. I honestly think he stuck it out for Ed’s sake, because he was afraid to let Blackbeard go without making sure Ed would be ok.

He loved the idea of Blackbeard, but over time, he learned to love Ed. He finally understood what Ed tried to tell him the whole time.

“Fuck off, you twat. You’re surrounded by family.”

You’re safe. You’re loved. You don’t need me anymore. You don’t need to be reminded of who you’re capable of being, you need the people who will guide you to who you will become, and I’m not one of them.

I know a lot of Izzy fans are stung by his death, some of you are deeply upset. I get that. Like I said, I’ve been there. Sirius’s death made me throw that fucking book across the room. That Fucking Woman™ killed off my entire OTP, purely for shock value and, imho, a direct response to shippers. Trust me, I have felt betrayed by a creator for their decisions.

But I need you to understand that no, this was not a personal attack, this was not malicious, this was not “bury your gays." A show that celebrates queerness and diversity is not suddenly homophobic and ableist because your favorite character died and happened to be both of those things. But when the majority of your cast of characters is different in some way, and they’re in a show about 18th century pirates, you have to accept that one of them could, in fact, die. “Anyone Can Die” is also a trope and the more accurate one to describe E8.

If only being queer and disabled made you invincible.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

And no, I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him, I loved him as an antagonist, and I loved his redemption arc. He was fascinating and Con put his whole O’Nussy into that part. I’m sorry to see him go, but as a mystery writer who often has to kill off beloved characters, I understand that he served the purpose he had from the beginning.

I swear, if some of you had your way, there’d be no conflict at all in any form of media. This what a steady diet of nothing but fanfic gets you. This is not a fluffy one-shot with magical healing dick and a happy ending where everyone sails off into the sunset. If that’s what you wanted, what you headcanoned, you did this to yourself. It’s not David et al’s fault that we took that character and babygirled him. That’s the risk we take when we decide to love a specific character, when we take a genuinely terrible person (in S1) and woobify him.

So, please stop harassing and attacking David, Alex, et al. David did not and should not change his story to placate us. The fact he went ahead with it despite the backlash I’m sure he expected makes me respect him as a creator even more.

Anyway, I’m going to revel that we have three (!) queer relationships with happy endings where one or both didn’t immediately die (again, the actual definition of “bury your gays”) and that we got at least two seasons of a little show that celebrated individualism, diversity, queerness, compassion, and love.

In the end, it all came down to love.

“There he is.”

Goodbye, Blackbeard.

Hello, Ed.

[lachiennearoo]

How to Make Friends

A more-or-less clear guide on social interactions

Growing up with heavy ADHD and generalized anxiety, it was always a bit hard for me to make friends and socialize. Despite my yearning for friendship, I was always "the quiet one" and "a loner", simply because I didn't know how to approach certain social situations, and it made any friendship I had extremely unstable (except for my sister @vive-le-quebec-flouffi, who was so extroverted and friendly it was literally impossible to escape her clutches of socialization)

As I grew older, I learned through a lot of trial and error what makes a good friendship.

Or, rather... what's the best way for someone to WANT to be your friend (without being superficial or hypocritical.)

Now, obviously, this doesn't work for everyone. But this is what I found helped me the most in social circles (especially online) and I hope it can help others too

LET'S BEGIN!

1 - Be yourself

Now that sounds very cliche and cringe, I know, but hear me out, because my opinion on this is not the same as all those feelgood inspirational movies and ads.

"Being yourself" isn't as simple as it seems. Because after all, what does "self" imply? If someone is, say, a criminal, would "be yourself" mean that they should embrace their sinful side?

No, obviously not.

"Be yourself" is a bit more nuanced, but I'll try to boil it down for you.

It just means "be unashamed of your qualities which you think are flaws". For example, "be yourself" would apply to someone who sees themselves as ugly, or maybe someone with an odd yet unharmful hobby, or a weird sense of fashion, or someone with say a handicap, a speech impediment. "Be yourself" is a sentence for the specific people who have genuine good in them, but are afraid to show it to others because they have been persecuted in the past, or are scared to be. It does NOT mean to accept genuine flaws. "Be yourself" does not include say violent anger issues, an addiction, a recent crime committed, or a generally unpleasant personality. Those are obviously not things to encourage. You can understand they may be a thing that happen to you, and accept it in your life, but that's different from being proud of it or encouraging it.

Speaking of personalities... let's talk about that

2 - Be kind

Now when some people hear that, they think it means "always smile no matter what, always look happy and positive, always agree with everyone just so you don't hurt their feelings, and never cause any drama", like you're Deku in My Hero Academia or Steven Universe in his titular show.

But that's... not quite that.

Obviously, kindness is something you use to help people feel better, to cheer up, and feel happy, and obviously to be kind, you need to have compassion, heart, empathy, and always put yourself in other people's shoes regardless of who they are. But it is not necessarily all-encompassing.

There's a rule that I think anyone learning kindness must learn. It's that sometimes, kindness means to be firm.

Not mean, of course. Not judgmental, not insensitive. Don't insult anyone, don't belittle or patronize anyone or make them feel inferior to you. That's still very rude and that's not what you want.

But what I mean is that sometimes, if you know that a person's actions towards something are wrong, especially if it's towards someone else, you must be able to point it out, and act accordingly. Don't just stand there and agree with them just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You must still be able to know right from wrong. Kindness just means you won't be an ass about it, it doesn't mean to stay silent.

Hey, that brings me to point three!

3 - Show your own opinions

If there's one thing people hate just as much as meanness, it's those who stand by and do nothing about it.

Regardless of if you agree with them or not, if you say absolutely nothing when genuinely bad behaviour is happening, out of fear of "starting a fight", you are actively making the person who is being attacked feel alone.

I remember myself, when I was bullied in the first two grades of secondary school (11-13 years old for those who don't know) for "being ugly", I was told by my mother (who was friends with other kid's parents) that some of the kids "didn't hate me" and "didn't agree with the bullying". And I asked her "if they don't hate me, why won't they talk to me?" She never managed to answer that one. And it broke my heart, because outside of my sister, I had no one else.

Don't be like that. You may be scared of acting, but you know who would be grateful if you did act? The victims. And isn't their opinion of you much more important than the opinion of someone who acts with hatred and bigotry?

If you see someone suffering injustice, or even just hear someone who has a rather harmful opinion, don't be scared to tell them that you disagree. Obviously don't be an asshole about it, stay civil, but if you voice out your opinion, you will be seen as someone who stays true to their beliefs and is brave enough to stand up for them if the opportunity comes.

There's obviously much more that comes with social life (nonverbal cues, sense of humor, timing and mood), and I don't know everything (I'm just some random québécois girl on the internet). But I hope this was a bit more helpful. I did have fun writing this, at least. So I guess that's better than nothing!

[doberbutts]

(Some other guy entirely here) I do think there's not much of a reason to be so against the terms tma/tme though, and I don't really understand why some people are? Like, in the same way we want a word to describe our experiences so do transfems, and while I do believe that all trans people are affected by transphobia and misogyny, it's obviously also true that we're affected by it differently depending on how we present, cause otherwise we'd all be satisfied with just the term transphobia (not saying anything new here so far)

So, since it just so happened that the term transmisogyny was coined to mean specifically the oppression transfems face (regardless of what anyone might feel on the matter, that is what it means in practice), what's really so wrong with having terminology to specify whether you're affected by it or not in online discussions of specifically transmisogyny? I'd think that would be relevant enough information, and you're not obligated to share it unless you want to.

I think what's really bothering a lot of people is that these terms exist for half of our community but there's no acceptable equivalent for the other half, and there's constant backlash against attempts to fill that void in the language. But that's not the fault of anyone who advocates for the use of tme/tma, or rather, they are separate issues that I don't believe should be conflated even if the proponents of tme/tma are the same people who are against specific terms for transmasc oppression.

When we do this, from the pov of trans women we are the ones rejecting their terminology and trying to silence them when they talk about their discrimination, and since we know exactly how that feels, I think we as a community should take a step back on the matter and just let it be.

Just because we feel dismissed when it comes to a similar matter doesn't mean we should dismiss in turn.

Not that anyone needs my permission or anything for this but:

I don't really have any problem with the words transmisogyny or trans-misogyny, as I think they are valuable labels to discuss a specific intersection of transphobia and misogyny.

I am not sure I necessarily have a problem with the terms TMA or TME themselves, outside of that I think it is not possible to be exempt from oppression because it will apply to you even if the label itself is wrong. This is also how hate crime and discrimination law works in this country- it is both your label and what the offender thinks of you, not just one or the other.

In other words, the guy who screamed at me about how I'm a Mexican is incorrect because I'm not Mexican, but it is still considered to be discrimination against Mexicans because it was his hatred of Mexicans that fueled the attack. It doesn't mean that actual Mexicans aren't the actual targets or this, but it does mean that it's not possible for me to be exempt from anti-Mexican sentiment. It doesn't mean that hatred of Mexicans doesn't exist, it does mean that if I want to stop getting screamed at for saying non-English words while visibly brown (I said pate, which is FRENCH and not Spanish, in reference to a can of dog food he was buying), then I need to ally myself with Mexicans and see what I can do to help decrease this hatred of Mexicans within my country.

What I do have a problem with is how these words are used and applied.

Caster Semenya is a "TME" intersex woman who was caught by transmisogynist Olympic rulings intended to hurt trans women, and to this day is still not recognized as a woman. How is this exempt from transmisogyny? She is literally being affected by transmisogyny- and interphobia, and misogynoir, and lesbophobia. And there are more examples than that, but this will already be a long enough post.

Moreover, I'm finding a lot of hypocrisy in the theory itself, labeling certain instances of oppression as things only TMA people experience and then refusing to listen when TME people say that they experience it too. I don't really care what or how people talk about their own experiences, but I do think it's a little ridiculous to be told that someone else who is not me can tell me what I experience better than I can. And then refuse to listen when I say that I have felt the hurts they're saying don't apply to me.

If TMA/TME had stayed within the limits you've set, being about descriptors of your own personal experience rather than trying to apply theory to entire demographics in a way that very little other theorycrafting does, I wouldn't have cared. Unfortunately that's not how it's being used and I don't like that.

[sassykinzonline]

sometimes its actually alarming HOW uncritically the naruto fandom looks at the text like because something isnt "shown" in canon/on-screen (it usually is, but just implicitly) people think it means it couldnt have happened and therefore making sweeping statements about the character like "theyre just weak" or "they make no sense"

as usual im going to focus on naruto (😌) heres an example but it applies to many others (itachi, gaara, neji, hinata,...me)

here are some things we know about naruto:

he is inexplicably talented at taijutsu despite having no mentor

he created sexy jutsu for attention from older men (he craves a father figure)

he is rather repulsed by affection aside from certain people

he relies on shadow clones to outnumber his enemies and protect him from damage, as well as acting like diversions (he only later on seems to learn to use them practically as well, and he doesnt use them as an actual team iirc)

he represses his memories and life severely if they cause him distress or negative emotion, and when he doesnt do that it causes him to lose complete control of himself in anger

some of these things are basic signs of a child who has been abused in multiple ways (particularly verbally, physically, and sexually), but also just logically how is it possible that naruto became proficient at taijutsu when he didnt train with anyone and had no teacher to correct him? why would it be important to naruto to have, what are essentially, human shields? why does naruto freely tolerate physical abuse he receives while others openly complain about it? why would that lead to naruto eventually wanting to defend/protect everyone in tandom with ANOTHER orphan who feels the same? why would WE not be able to have a clear directly depicted answer to this as a reader?

idk to me personally there are a lot of things people say are "headcanons" are just things they logically put together based on subtext, and theres a reason why a vast majority of people who read the same text come to the same conclusion. it seems like this is a lot less common in manga form (i dont read manga so i wouldnt know, i understand different mediums have different communication norms but some things are just literary basics), so its the first time ive encountered this "why does everyone believe in [some idea not said in plain english]? it's never said anywhere!" logic...it doesnt need to be. there are certain clues and patterns youre supposed to be able to draw conclusions for based on common life experiences (archetypes/universal symbols).

if you can do these above steps and come to a conclusion, and a plurality of people come to the same conclusion, it was probably intentional on the author's part. if the author explicitly states its not intentional, then sure, but that doesnt take away from how/why the story is impactful because the author may not even realize theyre doing it. an easy example i can think of is tsunade's fear of blood, where its meant to symbolize death, but in her case also ends up symbolizing love wrt her relationships with naruto and jiraiya. and thanks to blood gaining this symbolism through tsunade, when you see uchiha tears of blood, you instantly make those same connections. then you think back to gaara screaming about having never seen his blood (coming from his forehead where that tattoo of his is......), then the eventual resolution of that being an inversion of the symbolism the manga establishes when he battles his father during the war.

more than anything though i find it kind of concerning that adults sit around laughing at obviously what is meant to be traumatic. as if there arent people in your life who sit around with these same experiences and signs, with something they havent told you about because theyre afraid youll laugh at them.

[boy-gender]

How do you deal with guilt around being a man, and like generally feeling like you're "betraying women" or choosing to be something bad by transitioning? It's something I've really been struggling with..

I sort of have two answers for you.

The first is a bit glib, but I think you've got some bioessentialism to unlearn, anon. I know that it's probably not a belief you arrived at yourself- rather, a bunch of hateful radfem douschebags have so often repeatedly said shit like that, that you're a traitor, you're failing feminism, youre just trying to escape the patriarchy, you're mocking what women are, men are evil and youll become evil especially with testosterone. That kind of crap.

Genuinely I do not give it any thought. It's ridiculous on the surface, so I write it off as misguided and inane. There is no logical way to justify grouping an entire half of the population together, deciding that the one thing they have in common (being men) is somehow the defining trait about them (because nothing else is being taken into account, like their sexuality, ethnicity, trans or intersex status, poverty level, where they live, whatever) and then also deciding that one common trait is the root of all evil. I've personally had a lot of experience with people doing this with certain mental illnesses- particularly cluster B personality disorders- and deciding like "yes this one thing about you makes you evil. You have Evil Person Disorder," and seeing how stupid that was, I just applied it elsewhere. Humans are far too diverse, nuanced, and contradictory for any flat rule like "all X people are bad" to ever be accurate. If it's not accurate, it's not useful, so I don't judge myself by it. I literally just block the people spewing that shit and let it slide off like water on a duck. I have enough warped internalized beliefs from my upbringing- I'm not adding more when I can immediately and obviously see their flaws.

So my advice is to block anyone you see saying that shit. You might be beginning to internalize it because of just how often you see it- so you need to cut that off at the source. Radfems are not and never will be allies; they do not have "some good points." Their movement was specifically designed by conservatives to uphold white supremacist capitalism, and nothing that comes from that is ethically correct. I'd suggest picking up Mothers of Conservatism by Michelle Nickerson. A lot about the origins of the radfem/female separatism movements are detailed there, created by fundamentally conservative women. With this new 4B movement shit on the rise, it's helpful to understand how fucked up and wrong they've always been from the beginning. My second answer to you is to look at what manhood means to you. If you don't think you can be objective about this, ask a friend to help. List the traits you associate with what *you* personally want to be as a man, what you hope you transition towards. Do you want to be a financial provider? Do you want to defend your community? Do you want to be generous? Brave? Do you want to be an expert in a special interest? Do you want to make lots of friends?

Make a list of those traits. Then look at them, divorced from the idea of gender. Is being a financial provider "bad?" Is being generous bad? Or brave? Or having lots of friends? Are any of these things bad in isolation, or does your guilt about them come from their association with manhood? Is that /your/ association, or did other people cause you to think there is an association?

For me, I had two formative male relationships as a child. My father, and my maternal grandfather. My father was an abusive piece of shit who liked to pick me up by the throat and slam me into walls, threaten our pet cats, scream at me until I dissociated, called me slurs, hated my opinions on anything, belittled me, believed only in capitalism, is a social darwinist capitalist schill, hates my mom, treated me like a servant and punching bag, and is a miserable fuck with no friends.

My grandpa was an old man who loved scotland and tartan and scottish terriers even though he never had one, loved each of his cats which he had all the time. He collected coins and read about history, he made model planes. He watched judge judy with me and talked about the cases and if we agreed with her rulings; he watched the news from multiple different outlets a day and taught me to weigh them against one another. He loved sitting on the porch and watching neighborhood kids play, and he drank a lot of lemonade. He was a brilliant chemist, provider, raised 4 kids in near poverty, then raised 8 grandkids after that. He would sneak me chocolate malt balls as a "vitamin" and he would tease my grandma by pretending to pick up and lick his plate after dinner. He taught my uncle to garden who then taught my cousin, so all my life gardening has been "mens work" to me. He was soft spoken, curious, patient, and mischevious. He loved my grandma for 60 years until he died.

These men have nothing in common except that they were men. Being a man didnt make my grandpa evil because he chose not to be. Being a man didnt make my dad evil either; he's an evil fuck because he made that choice. They are both sentient beings, who can use logic and emotions alike. One chose poorly. It never made sense to me as a child to assume all men would be like my dad or like my grandpa, because they were both men and they weren't at all like each other. Some categories are just so broadly diverse that they aren't really helpful- if I ask you to picture a mammal, do I mean a monkey or a mouse? Does "sea creature" mean a giant ass blue whale or a tiny piece of plankton? "Man" as a category is too broad to make assumptions about. I know it sounds circular and reductive, but the only thing that makes someone a man is...being a man. Nothing else.

I find it helps to look at a diverse array of men, to see all that men can be, especially men not like myself or the men I know. What does it mean to be a man in rural Yunnan farm country? What did it mean to be a man in medieval europe? What is it like being a gay black man from california, or a hunter living off the grid in appalachia? What does it mean to be a man in a culture where long hair is masculine, or where harvesting plants is masculine, where being a doctor is masculine? What about cultures where adornment is masculine? Hell, what about animals? What's it like to be a male lion vs a male house cat? What do I think about male cardinals, who are the bright lovely red ones, whose color is meant to draw a predators eye to them and away from the female cardinals and their nests?

To me, gender is an all you can eat buffet. It's customizeable. You can pick up or ignore or throw away any traits you want or don't want. Grab things that are feminine in your culture and incorporate them into your manhood in a subversive, gender nonconforming way. Take things that are masculine that make you happy, that you're reclaiming in a way because you may not have been allowed to do/be them before. Fill your gender with the ideals and aesthetics you like. You are fundamentally changing manhood by being a man, by being a different kind of man than any other man. If there are 4 billion men on the planet, there are 4 billion different 'microgenders' of man.

Seems silly to write off an entire 4 billion people as inherently evil and incapable of either goodness or change. It's just illogical. For me, that's enough to discard the idea wholecloth. If it doesn't make sense, I'm not wasting my time with it. That's not an ability everyone else has easily though, so you take the time you need. Try to look at yourself as objectively as possible, as an outsider. As you transition, have your actions become more evil? Are you committing sexist acts? Have you literally betrayed all the women you know somehow? Do you feel yourself becoming less kind, less patient, less interested in equality or the preservation of life? I'm betting, since you're nervous about it enough to ask, that none of those things are happening to you. Do not let yourself be gaslit into believing you are becoming something you're not. Look at your actions, your words. Look at your values and how you live up to them. If you don't see any sudden discrepancy, then you know anyone who tells you you're becoming evil by becoming a man is straight up lying to you. They're projecting an idea onto you that doesnt fit reality; trying to put a round peg in the square hole. Be curious, be objective. Do not be misled, and for those who try to mislead you, hit them with a chunky block button.

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

Knowing me I’m gonna absolutely make this into a longer post but like. Isn’t it just SOOOOOOOO SILLY AND SO GOOFY that Luis bestowed the role of Sancho Panza onto Leon even though they’d only JUST met

Like,,,, Don Quixote isn’t just a book Luis loves a lot- he bases his ENTIRE MORALITY on his own ideas of what Don Quixote means and what the messages behind it are. He SURROUNDS himself with chivalric ideals and so, obviously, he holds that book and it’s characters VERY near and dear to him- hell, he doesn’t even let Ada or Ashley in on just how much this damn book means to him!!!!!!! The other scientists who he worked with during his time with Los Illuminados also called him Don Quixote, but realistically, how much would they have known of Luis’ deep-seeded love for that novel??????

So like. Clearly. There is NO WAY IN HELL Luis doesn’t understand the impact of Alonso (Don Quixote himself) and Sancho’s relationship. He ABSOLUTELY understands the importance of it and how vital to the tale each other are and how intrinsically intertwined they are in each others lives and how one would quite literally have not survived without the other and how they’ve gone through hell and back for each other (in Alonso’s eyes LITERALLY) and how Sancho was there for him when his illusions of fantasy finally faded away

So. Like. Luis picking Leon to call his Sancho HAD to be purposeful right????????

He HAD to have understood the weight of his words and the weight of his decision. Maybe Leon didn’t quite understand at first but Luis????? Luis knew DAMN WELL that Don Quixote and Sancho Panza’s relationship went further than two people who just happen to be on the same adventure. Luis picking LEON to be his Sancho was PURPOSEFUL.

He’s not just any old chum he happens to he stuck with; Leon is a man who fully encompasses EVERYTHING GOOD Luis believes in in the world. Leon is EVERYTHING his chivalric ideals want him to be. He’s an inherently kind and caring and selfless human being and he’s everything Luis wants to see in himself. He saved him from certain death and now they’re connected more by just the circumstances of their situation- they’d go through hell and back for each other and they HAVE. He wants Leon not just to like him but to LOVE him. Because Leon sees past his actions; he sees past his mistakes and up until now, nobody has ever given him that privilege. Just like how Sancho still believed in Alonso and still believed that there was worth in his fantastical delusions.

So how does Luis express this gratitude without just straight up saying ‘I love you’????

By using language he understands and is comfortable using, of course.

By projecting a story that has meant SO MUCH to him onto the both of them.

And GOD. THATS SO POIGNANT TO ME. HES TELLING LEON HE LOVES HIM IN A WAY HES BEST AT AND MOST COMFORTABLE DOING. HES SAYING ‘I LOVE YOU’ IN ALL OF HIS ACTIONS AND PROJECTIONS. WHICH MEANS MORE THAN THOSE THREE WORDS EVER COULD. HES USING HIS OWN LOVE FOR THAT BOOK TO PROJECT HIS LOVE ONTO THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABT GODDAMNIT‼️‼️‼️

(ALSO SIDENOTE THIS DOESNT JUST APPLY TO LEON!!!!! THIS APPLIES TO ASHLEY AND ADA TOO!!!!!!!!!!! HE PROJECTS THIS SAME LAMGUAGE ONTO THEM AS WELL, JUST NOT TO THEIR FACES!!!!!!!!!! HE SHOWS THEM KINDNESS AND LOVE IN HIS ACTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!)

And I think on some level Leon knows this too. He probably hasn’t analysed Don Quixote from every angle possible like Luis has, but he knows- in those final actions, when he takes up the mantle of his Sancho and confirms to Luis that, yes, he WAS a fine knight, he WAS his Don Quixote- I think he knew exactly what Luis had been trying to say to him this whole time. Just…. Using words that best describes it in his own way.

[overleftdown]

farleigh start and racism; oh boy.

(some people are going to find this post really annoying. some people are like felix catton.)

read this.

just some thoughts from the perspective of a person of color who is slightly too obsessed with this character. this movie leaves the viewer a lot of wiggle room to interpret how dynamics such as race and privilege come into play. there are certain parallels between this movie and the real world, and how unnoticeable white privilege tends to be for white people.

lemme lay some groundwork. from what i understand, the most prevalent form of racism and white privilege within upper- and middle-class circles is implicit bias. this is racist conceptualization that subconsciously interacts with one's perception of society and people. implicit bias is often externalized through microaggressions, differences in treatment and language towards a marginalized person, misplaced guilt or pity, and persistent denial of any existing privilege or marginalization. most of these biases are also founded on stereotypes. some racial stereotypes are heightening (e.g. asians are all smart) and some are lowering (e.g. black people are all lazy). all stereotypes are harmful. i'm going to discuss some of the stereotypes that could theoretically interact within the saltburn canon, as well as some things i've noticed within viewers. can of worms, to be honest. boutta get INTO IT.

to use one of my externalization examples, let's discuss (or, more accurately, let me discuss) the denial of existing privilege or marginalization. this is a subconscious way to uphold a sense of morality, effectively avoiding "white guilt," so to speak. as is clearly presented to us, the cattons are very attached to their methods of upholding their own self-righteousness. saviorism is a common theme within both elspeth and felix. in oliver's conversation with elspeth about poor dear pamela, you can see that oliver recognizes elspeth's need to justify her actions in an attempt to preserve her sense of decency. one can only assume that this applies to how they view farleigh's relationship with them. there's more to talk about there, but i'd like to start with the only overt mention of race in this movie.

in felix's confrontation with farleigh, farleigh makes the bold and brave decision to mention his blackness. i call this brave because it's genuinely a terrifying thing to do, and the end of this conversation is proof. "oh, that is... that is low, farleigh. seriously, that's where you want to take this? make it a race thing? i never know our footman's names; the turnover for a footman is notoriously high!" we have felix's intentional or unintentional shaming of farleigh. we have felix's appalled denial of any involvement of race or racial bias. we have felix's diversion away from farleigh specifically and onto his own inability to know his staff's names. felix made no further attempt to recenter farleigh, aside from telling him that the cattons have "done what they can." (which is SO absurd on its own. they are clearly and obviously able to do more. they are disgustingly rich). farleigh does feel ashamed after felix's response; you can see it on his face, and archie says it directly. here is a relevant and prevalent stereotype for all marginalized people: that the discussion of marginalization is exclusively weaponized to gain something or manipulate a situation. this is how felix chooses to see farleigh's implication of existing white privilege. this conversation results in nothing, does nothing, as felix chooses not to confront what he's probably thinking as he repeats the words "begging bowl" to venetia.

now. saviorism, guilt, and pity. felix specifically tells oliver that sir james made an effort to support farleigh out of guilt. i'd like to order some things in a way that i perceive them. frederica start runs from england, which is explained in a condescending way by felix. frederica start marries a so-referred-to "lunatic" who dug through fred and jame's money, although it's farleigh who only mentions fred's financial irresponsibility. out of guilt, james offers to pay for farleigh's education. the specificity of education is compelling to me. perhaps james is simply a patriotic man who strongly believes that english education is better. or this is a mobilized racial stereotype! who can truly know. i digress. james' offer to pay for farleigh's foreign education puts the cattons in an odd position; if farleigh is to attend english schools, he will need to stay with the cattons. if farleigh is staying with the cattons, he will need to be treated as equal to felix and venetia. this is all one long chain of obligations. none of these acts from one family member to another should be considered "charitable," because family should intrinsically create a trustworthy and supportive dynamic.

i believe that the cattons do consider their fostering of farleigh as obligatory. moral obligation, as they recognize that families are intended to have a sympathetic and loving relationship. they cannot, however, escape the truth that they're just guilty. the "begging bowl" and "biting the hand" are more symbolic of a starving dog and its charitable adopter than a cousin/nephew who's staying with his absurdly rich family. see, the cattons are fully and entirely capable of affording another child, of supporting frederica financially, etc. the only way i can rationalize their reluctance to do so is by assuming that they don't feel like farleigh deserves it. is this a crazy assumption? i genuinely don't see why else. of course, i don't think this mentality is explicit or conscious. it's more-so the reality that when farleigh walks in a room, he's not the same as anybody else. aside from background characters at oxbridge, the only on-screen black people are liam, joshua, and james' godson's wife (who gets degraded on-screen). this is the reality of being different in an environment such as the english aristocracy. the cattons choose to see themselves as the hand that feeds the less fortunate, more entertaining, and least inconvenient. the cattons' inclusion of farleigh is not only reliant on how well farleigh performs, but also on their own pity and guilt.

all of this is somehow, painfully mirrored by some takes i've seen on farleigh. maybe this entire post is presumptuous, but you know what isn't presumptuous? saying that certain people hold farleigh to an incredibly odd standard. while the cattons never canonically said anything along the lines of "farleigh doesn't deserve our love and support," mfs on the internet have. the number of times people have referred to this character as greedy, lazy, petty, and malignant is so odd to me. i'm insane, i know. i just don't understand how people can hold farleigh to the backdrop of an english aristocratic family and so passionately say that he, of all characters, is the most detestable. or that he, of all characters, has no reason to behave in the way he does.

is farleigh greedy? greed is defined as a desire for more. farleigh has no desire to climb ranks, no desire to replace or surpass felix, no desire to hold any power over any family member. he is maintaining, upholding a standard that has been set for him throughout his life. is it kind or selfless of him to meddle in other people's affairs with the cattons? no. does he have a reason to be upset that non-relatives of the cattons are a threat to his inclusion in the first place? yes. is farleigh lazy? i don't even need to explain this one. no. if you don't consider oliver lazy, then i really don't want to hear anything. is farleigh petty? pettiness is defined as "an undue concern for trivial matters, especially in a small-minded or spiteful way." farleigh's meticulous attention to trivial matters isn't undue in any sense. a person of color and their meticulous attention to trivial matters is almost never undue. elspeth is a good example of petty. is farleigh malignant? there are a lot of definitions of malignant and i've seen people apply all of them, in some way, to farleigh. that's just wrong. archie madekwe once said, "i was interested in humanizing what, on paper, seemed like a mean character, a villain, or a bully. i don't think he's any of that. he's very self-serving, but i think he's really a heartbreaking character." case closed, this was for my own piece of mind. had to write this section because good lord.

in conclusion to this post that has gone tragically off the rails, i think the in-canon and viewer perspective of farleigh is, perhaps, a little racially motivated. sue me. they are all very centered on this idea that farleigh doesn't deserve inherent respect, support, and love. to remove farleigh's rational position within the cattons family would be akin to removing his right to familial love. genuinely, that's how i see it. the transaction nature of farleigh's actions is responsive. he sees felix as a social shield at oxbridge, he sees elspeth and james as the beholders of his perceived security, and he sees saltburn as a way to escape from his lack of privilege and his lack of stability in america. boom. bam. pow.

[hero-israel]

There's a lot more like this.

I think we can take some pride in the fact that, even on a steadfastly very very pro-Jewish and pro-Israel site, readers are NOT galloping towards revenge and butchery, they are showing basic humane care for Palestinians. It is much better than you see aimed at Jews from our enemies.

So much of the popular understanding around Gaza has been twisted by propaganda and weasel-words. People can be astounded - or accuse you of lying - if you point out the normalcy, even luxury, in the sectors where the favored and well-connected live, or that the widespread accusations of "starvation" are a pure hoax, that so much of the "humanitarian aid" meant for them are just photo ops. The obviousness of how much the outside world doesn't care about Gaza is matched only by the obviousness of how we are expected to forget the hysteria and moral panics of each successive "report".

When the same people who claimed Gaza was a starving ghetto that would spontaneously Rapture into total emptiness four years ago now make more accusations against Israel's conduct, how are we supposed to believe them?

As a Jew, I cannot respect any notion of "genocide" that is NOT both deliberately aimed at cutting down / destroying a racial / ethnic population and also at least somewhat successful at it. The Palestinian population has never shrunk, has more than quadrupled since 1967, and in Gaza has more than doubled in the last 20 years. If that was like the Holocaust, like Warsaw, where do I sign up? There are people who recommend different definitions of "genocide," but before I take them seriously I would first ask them whether they apply the same term to the Oct. 7 massacre, or if they are purely bullshitting together ad-hoc terminology, like how Amnesty International made up a new definition of "apartheid" that is explicitly not supposed to resemble South Africa at all so any differences between Israel and South Africa are irrelevant neener neener no backsies.

My position is that there is a difference between genocide and killing civilians while bombing military targets. But I also recognize that beyond a certain number of dead civilians, that difference might be moot. I am still very worried that we might see a true cataclysm in Gaza. That that there could be a civilian death toll one or two orders of magnitude greater than any previous round. It never used to be true and I really, really do not want it to actually come true now. As my previous post said, I spent a year hoping the Israeli government would be less a gang of talentless fuckups than they seemed to be, they dashed those hopes, and now they're the same ones supposed to be managing the counterattack. They have to know the risks. It is their job to know and plan around those risks.

David Schraub does a decent job of capturing the "what comes next?" part. There needs to be SOME vision of breaking this cycle. The best scenario I let myself imagine would be that Israeli raids are able to truly wipe out Hamas' command capabilities, weapons, and infrastructure, and Munich-style track down and kill all the perpetrators of Oct. 7. The most respectable and talented leaders in the Palestinian Authority (*crickets*) will have to be physically airlifted into Gaza to assume command, maybe with some plucky UN peacekeepers, then Israel and regional partners (assuming it still has any) work on humanitarian aid and rebuilding so the locals feel like there is some option for a future that doesn't involve suicide belts. I have no hope for live hostage rescue.

[bestbeest]

Service Dogs and Prong Collars

While I personally am a very hippy-dippy +R trainer, and do not use a prong on my dog, I wanted to make a post in response to the common notion that "no real service dog uses a prong collar." I've seen this sentiment several times in the last week or so and it's worth discussing, especially given how harmful 'fake-spotting' can be to service dog teams.

Let's start with some context about the prong, first. Unlike some training tools, it's not an inherently aversive tool, in that if no pressure is applied to it (i.e. the leash is not pulled at all), it doesn't pinch or poke. A certain level of force has to be applied for the prongs to pinch the dog. I am NOT saying that prongs are not typically used aversively or that they do not ever hurt the dog. What I'm saying is that the prong itself is just a magnifying tool, which magnifies small amounts of pressure from the leash by focusing them on very small specific points.

I also want to note that some professional service dog trainers do use prongs as aversive training tools, and while I am personally of the opinion that if your dog is service-dog quality, you should not NEED aversers to train it, other valid professional trainers in the field do use them to turn out well-bshaved effective service dogs. And of course, many unskilled owner-trainers rely on them to bridge the gap between their lack of training experience/skill and the extremely high behavioral standards required of service dogs (yes, you CAN very slowly train a dog not to sniff other people by reinforcing it each time it chooses not to and then fading out treats; you can also just do a quick leash pop when it leans over to sniff someone, and the dog will get the memo much more quickly and without the level of skill at timing needed). So this post is not intended to denigrate balanced trainers who use the prong as an averser, either.

That in mind, here are a few reasons that that service dog you just saw might be perfectly legitimate AND wearing a prong collar!

The dog was initially trained on a prong and now associates it with going into 'work mode.' Service dogs need some kind of cue to tell them when to be extremely professional and serious, and when they're okay to just be a regular old dog. My dog loves going up to people and saying hello, but obviously he can't be doing that kind of thing when he's on duty. Knowing that, I decided from the beginning to teach him that the signal was wearing a certain vest, and being 'naked' meant he could goof off. Other handlers use different signals, and if the dog was initially trained using a prong, that may be its de facto signal to get serious.

The handler's disability gives them hand strength issues and even a very small pull can cause them to drop the leash. In this case the prong provides noticeable pressure much earlier than a flat collar would and reminds the dog to be very gentle with their person.

The handler's disability gives them balance issues and even a very small pull can cause them to fall over. See above.

For some reason (cerebral palsy, wheelchair user, grip strength issues, etc), the handler needs a communication tool that can magnify very small movements of the leash into something the dog can notice and understand. I actually considered using a prong for this reason, so that I could just put a small amount of directional pressure on the leash to signal to my dog that we were turning one way or the other, but ended up going with a different method. Because the prong condenses the total amount of leash pressure into smaller, stronger points, instead of distributing it broadly the way a flat collar does, much smaller or subtler movements of the leash or the handler's hand can communicate a cue to the dog!

This is just one example of why it's so important not to assume that a service dog team is fake because they don't look the way we normally expect service dogs to look. There's an incredibly wide range of disabilities out there that affect people in a myriad of ways, and even more ways they navigate and manage those disabilities. Taking photos of people and posting them online, talking about them behind their back, or even harassing them about their legitimacy in person can be incredibly harmful and can lead to disabled people not getting the support and resources they need. Think about that the next time you see a service dog that doesn't meet your expectations!

[quirkwizard]

I have a lot to say about the potential of Izuku transferring abilities and losing out on his power and really want to talk about it, as well as him transferring abilities in the first pace, but I want to discuss a certain line. En brought up how he was the most useless one, but that got me thinking about which of Izuku's Quirks are the most useful? So here's my own list ranking them.

Gearshift: I understand this gives Izuku a huge boost in power, but in reality, it serves very little practical benefit. It puts such a huge strain on Izuku's body, and whatever his target is, it's only practical as a last resort super mode. It's only useful against someone as powerful as Tomura and how often are you going to fight someone as powerful as Tomura?

Smokescreen: This is obviously Izuku's least combat-applicable power and hasn't been used for much else but to make him look cool. That being said, it still has some uses, such as hiding Izuku from sight and blasting people back to give himself some breathing room to plan things out, giving this brawler a uniquely useful stealth option.

Float: I've ragged on this Quirk a few times for how boring it was given that Izuku can already launch himself through the air, but you can be boring and useful. It's been helpful in giving Izuku more control over himself in the air, helping him with bad terrain or long-distance travel, and letting him control enemies to a greater degree by air-juggling them.

Fa Jin: As a physical booster, this really doesn't add a lot to Izuku's arsenal on paper, but it still has some uses. The stored energy works better as a trump card with how easy the energy is to build up and the sheer jump in speed whenever he applies it, like if he needs to save himself or someone else. Plus, it has a lot of use in empowering the other abilities, expanding their applications as well.

Danger Sense: While the Quirk isn't the most diverse of the six powers, I cannot deny how useful it is to detect when someone is in danger. Not only does it save Izuku's life on several occasions and help manage his other abilities, but always knowing when someone else is in danger is immensely useful, both in finding people to save and knowing if allies are about to come to harm.

Black Whip: I mean, was there any surprise? From the very beginning, "Black Whip" has always been an immensely valuable tool in Izuku's arsenal. It's range and flexibility gave Izuku so many new options, both combat and utility-focused. From mobility to control to damage to support, this Quirk could do pretty much anything Izuku needed it for. Honestly, I could make a whole other post just gushing about it.

[georayn]

ok i'm not a hater of the idol format but wtf sm

I'm writing (and now posting) this on october 13th which is the day SM entertainment announced the departure of Seunghan from RIIZE. I'm not a RIIZE fan and don't even know some of the members' names, but I can speak on this company's lack of commitment to their artists as a NCTzen... yeah we've been through a lot and apparently briizes are being obliged into following the same steps, unfortunately.

I just wanted to quickly bring the topic of fanatization of idols to the table. as westerners, it's pretty easy to say that the whole idol format is weird and all just because it's not the way we do it here, so I'm not intending to fall into this discourse and hope nobody does. with that said, it's still pertinent to reiterate that the limitless idolization of real people can not be healthy after a certain point.

this whole situation was able to make a really old problem related to this VERY explicit. I've seen a bunch of korean "fans" depict it in the way of "this is just how our culture works, of course you foreigners wouldn't understand", when in fact the real danger of all of this is basically an issue that originated almost exclusively from your country/region that we fortunately almost do not have (on this level), so our exterior view on this should be of help.

of course, I'm not trying to start an international war here (every time humanity has done this it was not a good idea), so it is also of importance to highlight that the west and other parts of the world obviously have their own problems (big ones in fact) and not all korean fans reacted the way that I described, in fact it was probably a small portion, but it was big enough to make noise that SM judged unavoidable.

˖ ࣪⊹ ִ┈┈┈┈ ♰ ┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ִֶָ𓂅

well, here's the thing. the problem is not just in the way these "fans" reacted, but also in the way SM decided to judge their reaction as acceptable enough and chose to nod to their wants at the price of everyone who wanted his return, which includes themselves 1 day earlier and also the group members.

I've determined that the extreme negative reception by some "fans" was totally inadequate and the reasons can be compressed into: 1- past actions, specially pre-debut, should not determine the character of an idol currently; 2- when someone pauses their activities for such a long time, they probably stopped and reflected about what they did and changed to a better a person; 3- all of the previous shouldn't apply to Seunghan because, let's be frank, he only dated someone and smoked???? and even if he still actively does these, you shouldn't externalize your own concerns and have an affect on his well-being just because of the fact that you felt fooled by these silly things when he promised nothing to you. in addition, none of those were in front of the cameras, but they apparently are such deeply rooted problems in korea that they just stopped listening to the complaints.

you know who could have the power to change all of these factors, even if slowly? the companies. after all, they're the ones who decide what the rules are. some would say that the public's wants determine the rules just as much, and I actually agree. the thing is: SM's decision might seem the most profitable/stable to them now since the outrageous "fans" have a very strong opinion at the moment, but that will surely hurt them so much on the long run. and yes, I am also talking about money, so profit isn't even a last resource to defending this decision.

we've had and are still having problems of members departing from their groups in kpop so often, and SM is an incredible contributor to this issue. of course, in some cases, it has been the right thing to do when there are logical and concrete motives (ex: the taeil case), but when the reasons come from actual inappropriate reactions from the public exclusively, you should condemn their act and support the sane and actually healthy way of dealing with this. yes, you might get hit with some short term backlash and maybe a lot of it, but, especially if you are a big and resourceful company like SM, you should understand that your actions also have long term consequences.

from my experience, ever since NCT started to destabilize as a big concise project, my will of supporting their work has just fallen off. of course, I still love the boys and all the effort they put in their music, performances and other varieties, but it is essential to understand that most of the work put into the NCT brand as a whole comes from their company. because of this, it is hard to keep on buying merch, showing up to their events and getting excited for new projects that will probably get hijacked by SM. again, I am not a briize and have not followed their way to the point we are now, but I assume they have gone through similar cases of neglect.

with that said, a message to SM: people will keep losing their trust on you. you guys are too comfortable with the status that lee sooman has taken years to establish, and this equally gradual loss of trust is exactly what will make your reign fall off. you should not side with the crazy behavior of some sick "fans" for commercial success because that is purely a trap; you guys will feel the strong impact after some years, or maybe even less.

ok so I did not expect this post to be my return to blogging, but all of this was so absurd that I felt the urge of exposing (in my point of view) all of the problematics of the situation.

I am working on a new post though! i much prefer writing about subjects of my interest that do not involve any news so I hope that it can be well recieved by you guys :)

see you soon!

P.S: sorry for any English or even factual mistakes! you can correct me if you want, I appreciate the feedback!

[nevarroes]

But WHY is cas obsessed with gortash specifically

hmm okay so to me it’s a combination of a few things let me try to get it all, I’ll add onto this if I forget some major dynamic!

Firstly, it’s that Cas just kinda admires the way he is, the cruelty, the way he enjoys making people hate him, the disregard for most people around him while still having a sense of honesty and lawfulness, if that makes sense. The way that he’s manipulative but there’s room to have proper business with him too. The arrogance and superiority with which he carries himself that at the same time was never disrespectful or applied in the same way to Cas himself. It always kind of…. reminded him of his own kind honestly, and even if Cas himself is less like most devils than Gortash is in this manner it still gave him a sense of familiarity almost even so far away from his home. This plus the inherent superiority he feels over mortals usually but it’s almost like… “hmm this one isn’t so unlike my kind” with Gortash which is why he even agreed to deal with him in the first place, because he never quite just saw him as “some mortal”. He also, even if he’d never admit this, is really drawn to the way that Gortash can manage to be dominant in public even next to CAS out if all people. how he still manages to be the assertive one, the sweet talker, the way he takes control in any type of social gathering naturally etc (some inherent introvert thing going on here w Cas honestly LMFAOO)

Secondly, I suppose there’s this whole underlying dynamic of them complementing each other really well in their approaches and their goals, making them pretty much perfect business partners so Cas was always intrigued by that. Guy that can tell u the ins and outs of how to physically harm torture and manipulate living beings and guy that makes evil inventions and machinations, you get the gist…. 🙏

Something about having a guy proudly mansplain his machinations to the literal devil from the bible . I suppose part of him always found the audacity endearing. sorry😭

And then lastly there is the physical aspect with the fact that they are just really…. different. Cas basically had the importance of physical appearance ingrained in his mind due to his past, everything that happened to him, good or bad, was more or less due to the way he looked so he obviously leaned into that more and more throughout his life, making him incredibly vain and almost…. overly protective of his own body, if that makes sense? With that in mind you then have Gortash, who very much isn’t conventionally attractive the same way that Cas is and clearly doesn’t care about it much either. Gortash to me is a person that only cares about his appearance when it reflects his power and status in some way, so… his clothing and jewelry, the rest? He bends the public eye to see him as he pleases anyways.

So, in a way Gortash is everything that Cas never had the luxury of not caring about, the complete opposite of the many things that Cas holds himself to such high standards over, which is exactly what makes Cas be so drawn to and attracted to that tbh, almost in a taboo-way

(I’ll link this ask over and over sorry but…. talked about here before in a bit more of a nsfw context if you want🙏)

Anyways i think Cas’ obsession with him stems from a certain degree of intrigue of “who the hell does this little Lord think he is to talk to me” as well as admiration for his work at the same time for being so… unlike what he does himself. Same thing as with the whole physical attraction topic, Cas likes him for just being so unlike himself yet similar in past experiences and cruelty. The way they manage to complement yet also understand each other. The way he sees Gortash’s nature as “above” the one of other mortals due to it reminding him of devils. Oh and I suppose he’s also just in love with him let’s not overlook that. Cas didn’t try to do whole ass infernal rituals on himself multiple times so he’d stop finding Gortash appealing for me to ignore this😭😭

[raelle-writing]

The reality is that most kids would be either a Fluke or Jin. If nothing else it’s because they don’t also want to be bullied or ostracized by their friends. You can criticize the choices that Jin makes but realize that he is also a child that doesn’t yet have the maturity and wisdom of an adult. I see this group of teens and their treatment of Non as a cautionary tale. Obviously this is ultimately a horror/thriller so everything is heightened to the extreme. Therefore I don’t have an issue with the gore, mayhem and fantastical elements. But this type of bullying could and does happen in real life sometimes with devastating tragedies. So I do wish that people on social media were more careful of the terms they use and directly harassing your character is not a good look. Hurling insults behind a computer screen hurts just as much as doing it in person. (IMO) The fact that they are essentially bullying you is ironic considering what DFF is about.

There is a certain irony to watch the fandom turn into bullies in defense of the bullied character. I understand being defensive of the characters you like (I'm defensive of Jin in case you haven't noticed lol). But I understand why people don't like him. I've never justified all of his actions, but I do genuinely think people are too hard on him a lot of the time.

And I also wish all the Non defenders would have a bit of nuance about his character too because he's a victim, but that doesn't exempt him from hurting others. I'll never say he cheated because I beleive we shouldn't apply that word to a situation involving coercion and power imbalances. But Non does still get his friends arrested. And he does lie to and gaslight Phee. And those are okay things to acknowledge while still having sympathy for him as a character.

I agree with you. I think most people wouldn't even do as much as Jin tbh because while he doesn't do enough arguably, he does a lot as far as defending Non over and over and over (even up until after Non disappears he's still snapping at his friends to address Non by his name). And it's really hard to be that level of defiant to your peers constantly. It's waaaaaaay easier to be Fluke and look the other way and tell yourself that you're not involved then, even if you could stop it.

Everyone online seems to have a hero complex and think they'd do the Absolute Right Thing even when there's no clear right thing in certain situations, and then they demonize these teenagers for not doing those things. (I made a thread on Twitter talking about Jin lying to the police and police corruption in the DFF narrative and in Thailand in general, including linking to a bunch of Thai tweets that talk about that and I got people replying to me saying that they live in countries with police corruption but they still would've told the truth to the police even if they would've disappeared and I got a good laugh out of that. It's so easy to be the hero in your head in a hypothetical situation, but reality is a lot harder than that).

Yeah, I don't know why this particular fandom seems to be so caught up on "if you like a character that I view as morally bad then YOU are a bad person" especially considering the audience crossover to the KPTS fandom like. Were you mad at all of the mafia boys doing mafia things in KPTS becaussssssse that was worse than a lot of what's happening in DFF so far ahahahaha

Anyway, I'm not ever going to demand that everyone likes Jin. I don't particularly care of people like him or not as long as they're not coming after ME about it. I wish people were a little less... vitriolic about the mistakes of teenagers, though I understand why many people are so mad about it. I just can't get past the idea that these people were all kids when they made these mistakes, and it's hard to see even Por die because I have sympathy for them all. Did they fuck up? Duh. Do they deserve to die...? I have a hard time with that, but I'm trying to be mentally prepared ahahahaha

I also hope all the people out there who have decided Jin is the worst person ever and deserves to die are prepared for if that doesn't happen. Because there are a lot of threads in the narrative point pretty strongly to a future redemption for him IMO (tho of course they could go in another direction, anything is possible at this point). And I have a feeling that all those people who are calling me names on Twitter aren't going to handle it well if Jin get redeemed or like... lives in the end. I have a feeling they won't handle that well.

Anyway, thanks for the message 💕