#obviously there's more lore but this blog is long enough

[transjeffdr]

My Super Awesome Powerpuff Girls OCs

Despite the 24% of people who didn't want me to unveil these bad boys, I'm doing it anyway. People who followed my Instagram will already have met these fellas but I'm bringing them here anyway!

This is Bullet (no relation to the squirrel that was introduced in season 4, I'd created Bullet before seeing that episode but a Powerpuff with a gun was too funny to reject), she thinks of herself as an unofficial/honorary member of the PPG. They initially used their abilities to fight crime before the girls could but have become less of an asshole over time. Her sense of justice is VERY strong.

Professor Samuel Clyde Miller, Clyde for short, is the socially-awkward creator of Bullet who initially made her to impress his ex-girlfriend Stacey. He's generally well-meaning but his hypersensitivity, tendency to exaggerate his relationships with others and obsession with Metallica makes it hard to connect with others easily. When he's not looking after his superpowered edgy kid or moderating r/Metallica, Clyde works as a Professor of Chemical Engineering and gives university lectures (did work for a nuclear plant at some point)

Stacey (surname pending) is Clyde's best friend and ex-girlfriend who also works in STEM. She's an inventor who's very passionate about the craft and will drop everything to make something that she views as valuable. Stacey is optimistic, kind and friendly to other people even though she's constantly burnt out. Due to coming from a family full of scientists, Stacey feels like there's more pressure on her to be brilliant and she spends many sleepless nights tweaking her work to perfection but will neglect her own wellbeing. Fortunately, she recently realized that she's overworking herself and has begun seeking private help for the issues caused by her perfectionism

Bandaid (can be written as B4ND_41D) is part of a collaborative effort between Stacey and hospitals in Townsville to create a robot nurse. They were conceived during the outbreak of a nasty virus that was spreading to the hospital staff. The goal was to create a nurse that would be able to treat patients efficiently, with care and without catching any illnesses that could spread in a medical environment. After a hacking incident, though, there's still a lot of work that needs to be done.

Relationship Chart

Random fact that Bullet's hoodie is a personal comfort item she wears because it was a gift from Clyde. Obviously he's given them other stuff too, the hoodie is just very special to her.

[harmonysanreads]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ One Year Commemoration Post↬Sumeru Love Hexagon

-; ੈ♡˳ BEHIND THE HEXAGON

☆ The primary inspirations behind this AU are Alhaitham's Demo and this Fan Musical that debuted on Spring HoyoFair 2023!

Alhaitham's Demo no doubt gave many writers and daydreamers heavy brainrot and I happen to be one of them lol. But it was not until the fan musical that I had a concrete enough idea. I was charmed by the amount of tavern shenanigans this concept had the potential to bring, which is something that I really wanted to write at the moment :>

☆ Originally, Scaramouche or, Wanderer wasn't even supposed to be part of the AU!

Mainly because I didn't see many inclusion of him in the Sumeru Crew (at that time) and was unsure how it'd be taken D: But then, I remembered the v3.6 trailer where he was duking it out with the others and I was like 'why not?'. From that point on, he's come a long way and has even become the Best Boy of the Hexagon! :D

☆ Scaramouche's 'innocent in front of reader and the opposite behind their back' act is a tribute to his very first in-game appearance in the v1.1 Unreconciled Stars event!

This is something I'm humbly proud of, so to say. I still occasionally go back and admire the writing from that event. I think it's absolutely criminal for such a lore-rich and well-done in terms of character introduction event to be limited but oh well. Scaramouche, in my opinion, can be an excellent actor when he needs to be and if you watch the story from this event, you'll understand. Combining this with his mental state from after the Interlude Quest creates quite a messy situation though and, I kept it that way intentionally :>

☆ In the initial draft, Alhaitham was written as a very jealous character!

The cause of it being reader's infinite care for Kaveh. But obviously, I scraped it and wrote a much more toned down version and I sometimes wonder if I should've gone with my initial thoughts. Admittedly, I was playing it safe due to some reality checks regarding his character so I don't regret it a whole lot. But if it was up to the present me, I would be down to writing jealous Alhaitham immediately lol

-; ੈ♡˳ QUESTIONNAIRE

Does the Reader have White Knight Syndrome?

Well, I didn't originally write them with this particular condition in mind, however, upon further reflection I can see that they definitely show some symptoms of it. And considering the situation they're in, it's very easy for them to fall into the condition itself. I'm not at all qualified to diagnose someone with a mental condition so, my answer will have to a soft no. However, if anyone wants to imagine them as such, they're of course free to do so.

Is there any character you'd want to write differently if given the chance?

I already mentioned Alhaitham to a degree but, I really really wish I had been more considerate of Cyno. We're entering debatable territory here but the Hoyo writers putting so much emphasis on Cyno's TCG addiction and jokes while handling his actual lore whimsically made me lose interest in his character at that time. Though, I hope his upcoming Story Quest will fix this and do his character justice <3

Who is your favorite among the boys?

If you've lingered around my blog for a while, I know you thought I was going to say Alhaitham but, within the confines of the AU, it's actually Kaveh! He's like the initial spark that kindled the actual fire, as such, he's the first one you read about. I felt immense empathy for him after I learned about his lore through leaks, which is reflected onto the reader as well. Had this been a different timeline, Kaveh and Reader's relationship would be pure wholesomeness.

Who among the five is the endgame?

Ohohohoho.. place your bets because it can be literally anyone :) Even someone outside the hexagon in the off-chance they end up slaughtering each other lol. Kind of out of topic but, I think the Wanderer route would be genuinely heartbreaking unless he does something about Reader's mortality. He'd have to watch the one person who truly loved him decay slowly, while he remains afloat his raft of artificiality, safe from the clutches of death temporarily. Thinking about the endings make me feel quite sad honestly, it's a reminder that even the lighthearted shenanigans of the Hexagon will end at some point.

-; ੈ♡˳ ENDING NOTES

I could've easily done a writing event to celebrate the anniversary but I just really, really wanted to talk about these little tidbits. Many many kudos to you if you've made it this far, I hope I didn't bore you :')

Memories are fragile things, so I'd like to think of this as a memorial of sorts that I can look back to after a few years and not think of myself as a total failure lol. I wrote this AU at a rather difficult period of my life, which is why this is more lighthearted despite falling into the Yandere genre.

I don't really know how to express my gratitude without sounding overly sappy, but I'll forever remember every interaction, comment, ask etc regarding the Hexagon fondly. I even remember someone saying they're binge reading this late at night instead of studying for an exam or something which is.. wow, I hope you're doing well nowadays my fellow night owl! I appreciate every each one of you for even taking some of your time to read my silly ramblings <3

This is not at all the end of the Hexagon AU, just to clarify! I'll still answer any asks regarding the five losers (affectionate) because, despite the limitations placed by reality, in fiction, we have the power to imagine and write infinite tavern shenanigans.

Just before I posted the original concept, I thought to myself, 'If even one person smiles because of this, I'll consider it a success.' and now, looking back to the amount of people that enjoyed the Sumeru Love Hexagon (very silly name but I digress) I just feel so, so happy.

Thank you, everyone, sincerely <3

[delawaredetroit]

how much of overhaul’s actions are motivated by his childhood trauma, in your opinion?

imo the explanation about returning the yakuza to their former glory has only ever been a way for him to excuse/justify his actions. there are a dozen other things he could have done that would have served the same goal, many of which might not have required his quirk that much (i’m thinking things like making the yakuza a resource for the community in times of crisis (as i believe yakuza have been historically?), having his men “patrol” or act as vigilantes in areas that are underserved by heroes but need more support, etc).

instead of doing anything that meaningfully helped his community or the broader reputation of the yakuza, he pursued a goal that—actually i can’t fit it all into a sentence, so heres a list.

1) he put himself in a position of absolute authority over the organization he was part of. obviously he had to do this in order to pursue his broader goal, but i don’t think that’s the only reason why he put the boss in a coma. if he’s the one in charge then no one can hurt him, and everyone has to listen to him.

2) a central aspect of his plan seems to revolve around him keeping his quirk while everyone else has theirs removed. this is… almost exactly what AfO does, but it seems less like a power grab and more like a trauma response. if he takes everyone’s quirks then no one will ever be strong enough to hurt him again. obviously his beliefs about quirks play a role here as well, but again, i don’t think that’s the only reason he comes up with this plan specifically.

3) he’s reenacting his childhood trauma, but this time he’s in the role of the abuser—the one with power. obviously i’m not saying that everyone who’s been abused does this, but this is absolutely something that happens, and i think it’s a very reasonable explanation for why he suddenly goes off the rails when eri arrives. i know you’ve pointed out parallels between overhaul and OfA before, and i think there’s good evidence to support this specific interpretation of overhaul’s actions.

i had a fourth point but i can’t remember what it was. anyway, i know people have been weird about you comparing overhaul and AfO, and i’m coming in pretty hot with #3, so feel free to screenshot or copy/paste parts of this if you want to respond to some of it but not the rest.

sorry this got so long! love your blog and your analysis.

In retrospect, most of Overhaul's actions were in response to childhood trauma. He was not different from the other villains in that respect. But he was All for One's closest parallel, so he could not be humanized until All for One was humanized. (At least, that's the only logical explanation I can think of for that random lore drop about the origin of Decay at the end of Deku versus Shigaraki other than it was a loose end that needed to be tied up with no other place to put it).

Overhaul wasn't doing any of it to make society better or help his organization. He wanted to feel safe from anything that could potentially harm/contaminate him (quirks). Once the opportunity for that presented itself to him, he ran with it.

Overhaul put the boss in a coma because he couldn't stand the thought of the boss not being on his side. It wasn't just so he could take over the Shie Hassaikai. Similarly, All for One didn't force a quirk on Yoichi because he was a threat. It was because he couldn't tolerate the one person he cared about not following him down the same path.

True. He was certainly having less fun than All for One with all of it. All for One seemed to enjoy his larping as the demon king compared to Overhaul who started breaking out into hives whenever he believed he needed to act. (There's another parallel with Shigaraki. Both had stress related skin conditions related to their childhood trauma.)

Reenacting his trauma is a good way of phrasing what Overhaul did during his arc. The boss clearly wanted him to do what Aizawa did for Eri after she was rescued: be her babysitter/quirk counselor. It was an insane leap to jump from babysitting to human experimentation. It's not like the yakuza had the money for a pre-existing lab either. The best explanation was that he started reenacting his own childhood when presented with a child "with a quirk like his"

[zykamiliah]

Hey, sorry to bother you, but I've been seeing something in the fandom that kind of confuses me, so I'm leaving this ask to my favorite svsss blogs.

I've been trying to get more into Shen Jiu's character, as he is pretty interesting and arguably a fan favorite, and I've noticed that, so far of the fanfics I've read, he is more often than not depicted as a good teacher. A harsh one, but still good? Or not terrible?

One that likes teaching, is involved with his students, taking the little of what we've seen of Shen Yuan's teaching methods and just, giving them a twist, "improving" them even sometimes.

Often it ends up being a show of how Shen Yuan was clumsy, not that good of a teacher (or of a Shen Qingqiu) and I'm... Kind of confused by this trend? Like, is it rooted in canon? Obviously this is still more interesting to read than the "SJ is just a tsundere that never did anything wrong ever" thing, but it feels kind of similar.

I cannot imagine a character as genuinely bitter and angry as Shen Jiu enjoying being a teacher, having a nurturing bone in his body or even being hands on in the teaching of his disciples, several of which he literally bullied out of his peak. But maybe it's just me and I'm wrong?

Was Shen Jiu a good teacher?

I guess I'm just curious of where it comes from. I like Shen Yuan's character, and it often feels like people take Shen Jiu's to show how bad at everything SY is, even if it isn't consistent with SJ's character and often lack nuances, in my opinion.

(Or even if the story claims loving SY while also stripping him away of everything that makes him interesting other than his obliviousness, but that's a whole other thing.)

Sorry again, and I also apologize for the long ask, I'd just figured you or someone that follows you might have an answer.

(Also, I get that fandoms gotta fandom, and I'm not saying people shouldn't write it or anything, I may be a strickler for canon but I'm not the police. Write what you want. I just wonder where it comes from, as I figure that knowing its origins might help me in the future, but I promise I'm not trying to start discourse or anything, so I hope I've made my point clear enough without offending anyone.)

hello!! :DD

well sj being ooc in fics is a common thing by now. people tend to portray him softer than he's in canon, to the point it sometimes turns his whole character upside down. in extreme cases, you'll be dealing with a bitter, more tsundere version of sy with sj's backstory, which is secretly what many people want IMO lol often this people also perceive sy as an incompetent dumb nerd that only knows about monster lore and has no other skills or abilities aside from that-- essentially, they fall for the unreliable narrator's trap of believing every lie he tells about himself.

it's never outright stated, but sj didn't like children, so is fair to assume he didn't like teaching or caring for them either. taking into account qing jing peak's toxic atmosphere pre sy's transmigration, AND the fact that sj was paranoid about being overthrown since he hadn't developed a golden core even after becoming a peak lord and taking lbh in, I don't think he'd be interested in teaching anyone anything. in a lot of cultivation novels, disciples are just given manuals and left to self-study them (like he let lbh use the fake manual, expecting lbh would die from using it. haha. such a good teacher!). this could be the case. aside from that, I don't personally think sj would want to provide any kid guidance. and that's not mentioning how he allowed and enabled bullying, targeted talented disciples, and overall was more worried about his own cultivation and survival and reputation than other things or people.

so where this fanon sj comes from? I'm not sure, really, but I think some people just want a version of him that's palatable AND defensible, like my friend furby says, a declawed sj that's just a poor misunderstood meowmeow who deep inside is secretly good and nice. it's a thing that people who struggle with liking "villainous" or "morally bad" characters do: twisting the narrative around to justify this character's actions. It doesn't help that he's SO complicated, and people who have very black-and-white thinking struggle to place him in either side of the spectrum-- it's the problem mxtx outlined through sqh and sqq's voices

ch.14 house arrest

ch.19 shen jiu

really, the fandom has just proved mxtx's point xD

anyway, there's a lot of misconceptions about sj. there are some pretty wild theories around. some fans also treat his abuse as The Worst Abuse in comparison to the Child Abuse he did, because of the (unconfirmed) hints that sj was sexually assaulted by qiu jianluo, as if SA is the worst kind of abuse and child abuse falls back on the tier-list ¯_(ツ)_/¯ because obviously anything that involves sex in inherently worse, apparently

in other cases, people are simply more familiar with the fanon version of the characters, and that's who they portray in their writing. after all, many people read the novel once and then go on to read dozen of fics; it's normal the fanon sticks more on the brain than canon (not judging! it happens to me as well lol) and those fanon versions are more popular because, as i said, this version of sj is more morally palatable (and bland and less fun ┐(︶▽︶)┌)

thank you for the ask!! :DDDD ❤️❤️❤️ i love receiving asks~

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Tanuki

CR 4

Chaotic Neutral Medium Monstrous Humanoid

Bestiary 3, pg. 259

These mischievous, fun-loving, shapeshifting raccoons are far less violent or angry than the one displayed by the actual art, preferring trickery and music to brawls and battle. Fittingly enough, it's often believed that a Tanuki is born from the proto-soul that comes to inhabit any well-loved and well-used tool or appliance that manages to last a whole 100 years while still being used (an origin story that may be accurate or may yet be refuted when new canon material comes out later this year), so it's very likely that most Tanuki are generally decent folk, depending on which tool they were born from.

small annoyance before we continue: I'm a bit miffed that Paizo didn't give the Tanuki their ability to transform into inanimate objects (though they allude to it in their lore block), but it's an easy enough fix for a DM that wants to let them have one of their more famous features. We will uh. we will not be discussing their most famous feature anywhere on this blog. paizo wisely decided to leave that out.

Anyway, these amusing little raccoons live for the moment, spending their days merry and their nights curled up in the comfiest beds they can find, working to fill their lives and the lives of everyone around them with fun and food. While they can freely shapeshift into the form of a mundane raccoon, they're more likely using their 1/day Veil to masquerade as a humanoid, slipping into civilization to partake in whatever fun and festivities they can find. If they cannot find any, though, by god will they make some, utilizing their 3/day Major Creation to conjure whatever gems and gold they need to pay for it and their 1/day Create Food and Water to whip up some meager but filling fare. That this conjured money disappears an hour or so later is of no consequence to the trickster, who expects to either be long gone or too drunk to care by then. They frequent bars and eateries, exchanging songs and stories for food and drink as they look through the crowds for potential marks.

Not to steal from, mind, but to mess with. Tanuki enjoy humbling braggarts, humiliating bullies, pranking those they've judged as evil, and joking about with the dour and brooding for the entertainment of not only themselves, but whatever friends they've made for the night. Their goal is good times, after all, and anyone who sours the mood can find themselves at the tail end of whatever ridiculous scheme the Tanuki has hatched to maximize the day's joy. Though the book mentions their ability to turn weapons and tools into harmless items like teapots and cutlery, they do not possess this power in the game proper, but what they DO have is Shrink Item 1/day to collapse the first sword brought against them into a toothpick or, even more pettily, transforming the chair or table some stuck-up schmuck is sitting at into a washcloth and watching them tumble to the ground.

Shrink Item obviously has utility beyond this for the Tanuki with its days-long duration, but using it to mess with people is their go-to. Its other primary use is allowing the little raccoon men to hide weapons in unexpected places, typically having their primary weapon--a quarterstaff--masquerading as a straw stuck in their mouth, woven into their hair, or used as one half of a set of chopsticks. It's rarely brought out with the intent to kill, the Tanuki more likely to fight defensively or battle for only a few rounds as an opponent makes a fool of themselves and the little spirit can dance about and drink as it avoids their blows, but they can be startlingly vicious in combat when it comes to it.

Tanuki can wallop someone twice with each end of their staff for 1d6+2 and 1d6+1 damage a round, then quickly spin around and give them an extra slap with their sturdy tails or shoulder-check them for an additional 1d6+1 damage... but it's rarely going to stay at base numbers. Remember what I said about them drinking during battle? They have a reason to. Tanuki carry around special gourds at their side that always seem to be full of delicious sake while in their hands, and as a swift action they can drink from these gourds to gain any one of the following spell effects at will: Haste (for more AC and extra attacks), Rage (for additional damage at the cost of AC), False Life (for a chunk of long-lasting temporary HP; typically they've already done this hours ago), or Divine Favor (for +2 to attack and damage rolls). The book notes that Tanuki with more HD or class levels can gain different or more powerful spells from their sake bottles, essentially handing the DM a blank check to give them literally whatever advantage they want in case Haste + Divine Favor isn't enough to turn the tides.

This isn't without cost, as one may expect. Sake is strong stuff, and though a Tanuki's Sake Affinity blesses them with powerful magic, it also lowers their AC and their Reflex saves by 1 for one minute per drink they take, and these penalties stack with themselves. They trade their defenses for offensive power, and with only 17 AC and +5/+7/+6 as their defenses (no resistances or immunities!), they have to be sure that their offense is as powerful as possible to dissuade their targets from going further. Often, one just needs to reduce a Tanuki to about half or so HP before it cuts its losses and flees, very few willing to fight to the death for any cause, but be wary of turning your back to it once it starts running, because it's got Magic Stone 3/day and a sling to huck the enchanted pebbles to get in a few painful (and dangerous) parting shots once your defenses are down.

Some side notes before we close out: Tanuki have a constant Detect Poison on themselves, which at first seems to be there to combo with their at-will Purify Food and Drink, but PFaD is actually there to keep their travel rations created from Create Food and Water shelf-stable for as long as they need. The TRUE purpose of Detect Poison is to give the Tanuki a beer radar, because all alcohol is classified as a poison in Pathfinder. They're basically bloodhounds for booze!

You can read more about them here.

[batsplat]

can’t ask via side blog so this is matchvedev 🫡 you mentioned catalunya in that reblog of vale celebrating his 100 wins… 👀 what’s the story behind that and are there any other fun anecdotes that come to your mind looking at that poster? only if you wanna talk about it ofc but super lowkey, just anything you might wanna talk about

(x) oh yeah sure! I'm gonna leave the other bits of the poster for another time because this post is already long enough and tbh I need to find a version where I can make out a little more of the poster. but I will at some point!!

so, assen 2009 was the race directly after catalunya - a race that valentino also of course just happened to win. it's actually super convenient that these were consecutive wins, because can you imagine if they'd had to lug that massive poster everywhere they went until valentino finally got his 100th? anyway, catalunya was very much the turning point of the 2009 season. going into that race, valentino was in a little bit of trouble... actually, y'know what I do have a post about this race already so I'm just gonna plagiarise from that:

so, long story short, obviously that race was a banger. if anyone reading this hasn't watched it, please go and do that. valentino won it with a final corner overtake on jorge at a bit of the track you're not supposed to be able to overtake at. every time this race comes up, I'm legally obligated to remind people jorge was going around telling pundits that as long as you're ahead going into the final two corners of the last lap, you're safe. which, obviously don't do that! casey did take a break from almost fainting so that he could rag on jorge for not preventing the overtake - not least since valentino had employed that overtake on casey two years earlier, which jorge was also aware of and was later kicking himself over (here, here and here, but don't click on that first link right now). so there's plenty of fun lore with that overtake... anyway, valentino goes full ham with his celebrations. he's now tied in the championship standings with casey and jorge. more importantly, he's shown that he's still got it AND he's beaten his annoying young teammate at home. he breaks out of parc fermé to accept the adulation of jorge's home fans and also interrupts jorge's interview to shake his opponent's hand... just in case jorge is less than generous after his brutal defeat, this interaction will be nicely caught on cameras and mics

there's one more thing he does in his celebrations - but we're going to need a bit more context here. let's go back a few years, to the early noughties. (I promise this is relevant.) now, fun story, did you know that casey was talent-spotted by dani's long-time manager alberto puig and that's where he knew dani from? (stick with me here.) also, did you know that this is actually the reason why dani and casey run consecutive numbers, 26 and 27 respectively? from casey's autobiography:

I'd wanted to use the number 66 when I raced, but another rider had taken it. Number 66, or 166 if there had to be three digits, had always been my number in dirt-track because Dad had used number 6. I had run 66 in the Aprilia Superteens but it had been taken in the British Championships so I'd used 48, which is what I was given. For the Spanish series Alberto had block-booked all the twenties for his riders and I was given the number 27. It was the number I would keep from then on.

and here's another bit later on:

Unfortunately my favourite number, 66, was again already taken, this time by the German rider Alex Hofmann, so we decided to stick with my number from the Spanish Championship, 27. That same year in the 125cc class Joan Olivé would be running number 25 and Dani Pedrosa number 26, so having the number 27 on the front of my bike was a subtle but nice way to maintain my association with Alberto and his team of riders and show my respect for him.

something nice about how those two numbers always remained linked, isn't there! now, back to jorge: for most of his career, he'd been running the number 48 (yes, coincidentally, the number casey had used in the british championships), in honour of his manager dani amatriain who he met when he was ten years old. more on their relationship here, but the most relevant bit is this:

so, until the start of the 2009 season, he'd had the number 48 on his bike (minus the one year where he ran the number one plate). he then had this massive and pretty traumatic falling out with his manager, and he went so far as to change his number to distance himself from the man:

which, good - it was obviously meaningful to him. he later chose to use the number one plate after his first premier class title but stuck to the 99 for the following two... in the end, he really made that number his own

except, one more thing. why 99? so apparently, he ran a fan poll at the end of 2008, and he chose the number that won. here, from an article after the 2015 season:

unfortunately, this doesn't give you a lot of detail about the fan poll... but if you get creative with the wayback machine, you can find an article from the motogp website from 2008 that gives you a little more to work with:

so he didn't really use a fan poll, he got the fans to just... slightly narrow down his preexisting choices. which is important context! fan poll this or that, he did basically choose the number himself

now, regrettably the next bit basically just urban legend. I have found no good source confirming this, it's just something you see on forum posts, it might just be conjecture. but... well, let's just take a second to consider who his three major rivals were at this point: dani, casey and valentino. and if we do some basic arithmetic...

26 + 27 + 46 = 99

look. I have zero evidence that this was actually the reasoning behind jorge's choice. but you have to admit it's one hell of a coincidence, and quite a funny one at that. there's something kind of charming about the idea that all four of those numbers ended up being connected in some way, first through the dani and casey thing and then by jorge linking all four of them together... and of course, it'd also be hilarious if this is how jorge approached choosing his number. 'actually, I'm all three of my rivals combined' - sorry, but I buy young jorge doing this. apart from anything else, that is a man who was canonically obsessed with his rivals, especially vale and dani. is this a dig at them or a tribute? both? neither? what's going on here? who's to say

maybe this isn't actually the explanation! either way, in 2009 jorge rocked up with his new number, having distanced himself from his manager and determined to be his own man now. he might have pretended like he didn't have big title ambitions for that season, but obviously he wanted this to be his year. at latest by the time he got to catalunya, he believed he could win this title and really wanted to beat valentino... he would have loved nothing more than to beat his teammate in a close and dramatic duel at home. except valentino gets the better of him, in pretty much the cruellest way imaginable

remember how we've established that assen was valentino's 100th victory? well, in an extremely annoying coincidence, catalunya of course just had to be valentino's 99th victory. because of course it was. and of course, because it's valentino, he does actually remember this while he's celebrating

funnily enough, the dorna commentators have no clue why he's doing this and are a little confused by valentino pointing at the 99 on jorge's bike. but I got it, valentino, don't worry! which is just... wonderfully irritating, isn't it. during his extremely extensive celebrations where he's really rubbing it in, taking control of the season and all that... he's also remembered exactly what number of wins he was on and decided to be an arsehole about it. think about all the things that had to play out the right way for this celebration to hit the way it did. even if you don't believe jorge's number was directly inspired by [valentino plus his other rivals], it was still a number he'd only gotten THAT year, just in time for this duel. of all the wins that could've given him 99, it had to be one of the very finest of valentino's career. it's just. so annoying

which brings us to assen 2009, victory number 100. they had two weeks to complete their lovely poster and choose the photo they'd take for victory number 99. of course, there's really only one way you can go here:

now, some scholars may recognise this photo as the 'knee retraction shot', where they got very close to making contact. this is headed down the main straight on the penultimate lap, where jorge has overtaken valentino on the straight but valentino has taken the outside line to out-brake jorge in order to reovertake him... and he's so close he actually has to briefly retract his knee to get past (see here for a little more detail). on the final lap, jorge does flirt with running valentino off the track to prevent this, so he did learn his lesson! still, it's the perfect shot: you've got the two numbers clearly displayed and they couldn't be closer together (actually *checks motegi 2010 notes* I suppose you can get them a little tighter still). yes, it's the obvious choice for the 99th victory photo - but again, incredibly annoying behaviour from valentino

one more fun thing: there was actually a second dramatic duel between jorge and valentino in 2009 that unfortunately has gotten forgotten about a little bit. this one was at the sachsenring, and again valentino emerged on top... another decisive blow against his young teammate's morale in a title fight he was increasingly in control of. let's just quickly check in on the painfully slim winning margin

now, I have zero proof for this, but in my heart I truly 100% believe that valentino both noticed and appreciated the coincidence. this whole thing is just very him, isn't it? jorge changes his number for deeply personal reasons, goes through some extensive introspection and an overly convoluted public process to choose his new number which may or may not have been directly inspired by his closest rivals... and then valentino (with an assist from the whole bloody universe, apparently) spent the next half year making this into another new fun part of valentino's story. it's valentino's super special 99th career win! it's part of the 100 career wins poster now! what a lovely coincidence, isn't valentino lucky! doesn't everything just somehow work out perfectly for him! wouldn't he fucking infuriate you! god

[speyeralling-down-thy-majesty]

OOC ramblings,aka personal RP pet peeves ✨

NOT CARRYING TAGS. Some of us use tags for organisation,and/or have custom tags,so it's always slightly irritating when people leave them out.

Poorly written pinned posts. In my opinion,your pinned post should include a little bit about the character. I am [BLANK], avatar of the [BLANK] doesn't suffice imo. If you want to keep your character's lore a secret,then that's another topic. Usually a few facts like personality,interests, workplace (if important) pets, etc etc,help a lot in deciding if I want to interact and how.

Not providing translations for big chunks of distorted/otherwise weirdly typed out text. If you want your text be entirely in distorted text, or replace vowels with numbers, I can't stop you, obviously,but atleast please provide a translation. A lot of us are neurodivergent and find it hard to read this sort of text.

Using non rp related fandom hashtags. Please do not use any hashtags similar to The Magnus Archives/TMA/TMAPOD/etc on your rp blogs, it tends to clog the feed for those who don't like seeing it. If you want more engagement -join a Picrew chain!

Those are my personal pet peeves, and might wary from person to person,but it's been bugging me long enough to bring attention to it.

If anyone ever has any rp related questions,my dms are open,and I can try my best to answer, I don't bite!

[freebooter4ever]

I've been doing my best to stay up to date on the boots brainfog fatigue lore for a while and I have two things to say. First, I am so glad the antibiotics are working and helping you and you're able to somewhat pause your symptoms. And second, your story is so terrifying I had no idea anything like this could happen and I hope the saga ends soon with you going back to a normal livable life.

Apologies for the slow reply, it took me a while to come to grips with my story being used as a 'lore' example. Legit i sometimes forget that i have a lot more followers than just the ones who talk to me on a regular / semi regular basis. So thank you to anyone who is quietly watching this painful illness play out and rooting for me <3 i hope it ends up being a happy ending, though my depression right now is being a witch and telling me it wont. As i type right now my eyes are doing the '300 times more effort to focus' thing because i ate dinner an hr ago, and im slowly getting used to putting this much work into something as simple as writing but...gosh this is all exhausting.

I didnt know this could happen either, but i cherish all the friends and strangers who have gone through this or are going through this who immediately reached out to support me. I've met one guy in person who was a casual friend until now, but who is becoming one of the few people i can randomly text depressing symptoms to and just know he at least semi understands. He also promised to take me on his motorcycle the minute i get back into a physically stable condition so i at least have a carrot on a stick at the moment.

I have also had a lot of really really enlightening conversations with my grandma who has MS, and she's told me stuff about her own illness that I don't think she ever would have divulged to me if this hadn't happened. And I now almost understand why. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to complain about a symptom and then have a friend or loved one immediately counter with 'oh, i have that!' and then go into detail about how they handle it when their symptom is obviously fleeting and passing and much less intense. Also, there's certain people in my life who i just cant get to understand how this illness is connected to food. Every time their response is 'I'm sorry you feel bad, let me make you something to eat' and i have given up trying to explain, lol.

I think it's also important for me to note that although my blog has seen a lot of this drama that i shared...the WORST parts of it i have not posted because i simply dont know how to process or talk about it yet. And also most of the worst moments happened while with my friend G, and when I'm at their house I tend to not need social media so much.

The funniest part in all this - it took a month for me to become so terrified of food because of the intense pain/reactions after eating, that I don't miss food at all despite my diet being severely limited. I miss peanut butter, although my reaction to peanut butter is not so bad that i can't eat it sometimes (but not daily like i used to). Strangely enough, I don't miss bread at all, except I do miss the easy convenient calories bread provided so I could run/dance/exercise. There is only one thing I have been craving this entire month....this fucker from 85c:

I have dreams about this guy. I vividly remember the taste and texture and how it felt to bite into one. The joy of snacking on one in the California sun under the arroyo trees. I long to be able to eat it again ;_; But with how little food I've been able to eat, I can't afford to waste calories on anything that isn't packed with nutrition so :( no taro bun.

[skekdris]

The Visitor - Behind the Scenes

"The Visitor" is my first big story of mine that saw the light of day. In this post, I'll be explaining my thought process behind why and how I made it. In a future post, I'll be explaining my Arhulian species, and my character Niadris in more detail. But for now, I'll be on to explaining my creative process. Firstly, a few months ago I got back into tumblr after finding the blogs of @chocodile and @kwillow. Their characters, their art, their stories. They moved me, they inspired me! Drawing was never my strong point, (I had to enlist @aryeonos to graciously sketch my species reference for me <3) but descriptive writing is something I can do! So through that, it was the avenue I expressed my creation. That said; Ary being my editor and proof reader really helped me achieve a level of polish I don't think I could have accomplished on my own. <3 The Amaranthine characters are so rich and vibrant, I just wanted to write for them. Their personalities just seemed really fun to write for, as well as gave me a clear picture of how each character would behave in a story. A solid baseline for my weirdo badger-pede to contrast with. So I poured over Kwillow's and Chocodile's art pages for information about the characters and the setting. I wanted to respect the lore and setting as best I can; as well as the fact, the more information I had, the easier it would be to write.

Feelin' A Bit Drafty In Here

In a very early pre-draft version of the story (where I was still ideating over it), I thought I would try to tell the story from Niadris' perspective, but Aryeonos felt it would ruin a lot of the mystery and suspense surrounding Niadris, as well as deprive me of character interaction moments for the rest of the cast. So I redid the entire tone and course of the story to focus on the Rising dawn quartet, (sans snoozing bunny) with Niadris being the add - an apt decision since the cast literally considers them an intruder! In the new story format, I thought about Theo being so nerve wracked by Niadris that he would try to poison them, only for it not to work, and for Niadris to then reveal their life-sensing ability to Theo and tell him that they are not mad because always knew where he stood as a veiled threat. The story would have had a more adversarial tone; but then after doing some more lore spelunking, I learned that Theo prefers to handle confrontation openly and honestly as opposed to taking the scoundrel's way out.

So after learning that wasn't a very gentlemanly move, I decided to shift gears and redo the story (again) to what you see today. After that, I looked up the other characters for pertinent lore and information about them. I was already pretty familiar with Hyden, and Theo was the first character I discovered since I'm a diehard rat/skaven fan and always combing the internet for rat characters!

Then came to Alex and Ridge. After having my "cast" in hand, I figured out what to do with them. In the current iteration of the story, I wanted Niadris being self-conscious of their frightening appearance (they've certainly been screamed and shot at enough) and opt to meet the cast in a way that does not end in violence. Hence the Arhulian observing the cast for a long time and then making their carefully planned move. Likewise, first impressions are very important, and Niadris trying to approach the situation in a delicate manner (whether or not it worked) was one of my central goals in depicting them, and Arhulians as a whole. They are far from mindless brutes... Switching back to the the Amaran quartet, they are not my characters obviously - I'm just writing for them - so I tried to make educated guesses on how'd they react based on the information I had at hand. So keep in mind these are my personal head cannons of these characters!

Character Dynamics

Hyden - Due to the way the story was structured, he was not utilized very much. Which, is a shame on one hand, but on the other, it leaves my options open for how he would react in a future story. He could be just as lost as the rest of the cast, then shift to be deeply fascinated by the unnatural being that is Niadris. Treating them like magic buddyTM Ambroys 2.0. (Though he may find it much more difficult sink his roots into Niadris, as they are far sharper, and not blinded by idolism like Theo.) Or, alternatively, Hyden being a time displaced scholar could know something about Arhulians the present day cast does not, and is trouser-browningly terrified. But that is as much as I'll reveal for now. We'll see what way the coin falls. :) Theo - Theopolis North was the most fun to write for. Poor little Rat man pinballed through many different emotions across the story. Firstly, fear. Secondly, he's even more unnerved by the fact Niadris can go toe-to-toe in his smartassery which means it's intelligent. And that's extra dangerous in his eyes. I thought about writing Theo being even meaner and more hostile, but I decided Theo has a few reasons to keep himself reeled in. 1) Theo - though a poorly adjusted meanie - has enough sense to know that trying to stress-test this thing's patience would not go in his favor if the matter escalated. Especially with a thing that could throw him across a room or eat him alive. Unmetaphorically. Best to let a sleeping dragon lie so to speak. 2) I've noted that Theo appears to be a dire misanthrope, so a thought occurred to me that Niadris is just so alien they just end up in a loophole of sorts. And I decided that is a funny dynamic, and I'm going to roll with that. :) 2.5) Theo's aggression seems to be heavily rooted in his own insecurities. Niadris is somewhere between socially illiterate to too logically minded to care. So in a way, from theo's perspective; that's big wall that isn't there for him. 3) As much as it agonizes him to admit, the alternative is telling this thing to sod off, resulting in them just roaming about unaccounted for entirely. At least this way, he can keep an eye on them... 4) Granted, he does not want to admit it outright and 'encourage' them, Theo is personally intrigued by Niadris. Although he hasn't quite put it together it yet; Arhulians are intelligent, sentient, beings that definitively exist outside of "ascension". The implications would be defining to say the least. Theo's name would go down in the books for sure... And lastly, this being gives him a sense of deja vu he tries not to think too closely about. Henceforth, I laid down the roots of what may be the beginning of a very odd "friendship" as hinted at in the closing paragraphs of the story.

Alex - From the lore I got on her, she jumped out to me as the most rational and calm-minded of the group. She's a cool, collected soldier. Her perception is sharp (and unlike Theo, it's not calibrated in entirely the wrong direction via paranoia). Her nature as a sniper means it's natural for her to sit back, absorb information, and think about a decision before making it. Because of this, it felt natural that she'd fall into the role of "team mom" because she's the most level-headed and surprisingly enough, the most socially adjusted of the group. Especially since her competition is: 1) Hyden; a washed up noble that doesn't know what century he's living in - whose social resume is bossing around servants and bullshitting noble asses.

2) Theo; a misanthropic, paranoid, bulgy-eyed weirdo that's a reclusive shut in. 3) Ridge; Likely the best of the three. But if I remember the lore right, it's heavily implied that Ridge was in jail for some time, so I'd wager that has not done his social skills any favors. So with that in mind, Alex is the glue desperately trying to keep (the now) quintet from unraveling.

Ridge - Of the four characters here, Ridge has the least information available that I could find, so a lot of his character is implied from his surface level details, like him being big and brawny, that he had spent time in jail, and is at the very least in a non-hostile relationship with Alex. With all that said, I guesstimate he has the least amount of emotional baggage and personality extremes, so I felt that Ridge would be the best fit for a layman character. Niadris - Beyond what I already mention here, I'd rather keep their inner workings hidden, as they are both a mysterious, and a still developing (both in-universe and in a meta sense) character...

What's Next?

Without giving away too much, the logical path forward to the story is that Niadris is playing it safe as they have never been around multiple people for an extended period of time before. So they take on a passive role to learn and observe the... odd group dynamic the rising dawn quartet have. There will be a great deal of funny character moments and learning experiences for all involved! Over time, Niadris will start to make their own waves as they get accustomed to the group, and begin manifesting their own wants once they feel comfortable exerting their own social pressure. Likewise, everyone is wary of the big, scary Arhulian. But on the other hand, their value as an asset is undeniable! And they would be a pretty definitive tie-breaker should a schism arise... Various parties will likely be setting plans into motion to try and vie for Niadris's loyalty now that this wild card has scuttled their way into the group. With the groundwork of Niadris' and the Arhulians' introduction laid, I have to spend some time thinking about the path forward; as this is the point where things can really diverge, so I must decide what direction the story is going to head in. So alas, I don't really have an ETA in mind for the next chapter of this fan-story.

[911-on-abc]

the second they made buck bi i watched the whole show for the first time, took a week, finished just before the latest episode came out. this obviously means i do not know my first thing about anything, most theories and fanon storylines included. what is the most important stuff that i need to know? the more deranged and delusional the better 🌸

oh LORD buckle up anon!! but also... hi!! Welcome!!! I'm so glad that ur here and that you've enjoyed the show enough to (hopefully) stick around!!!!

Full disclosure, I've only started watching 911 since season 6, so there are years of fandom lore/drama that I'm not even aware of. I really recommend checking out blogs such as @captain-hen @gracieryder @maygrcnt who have been around here MUCH longer (I'll tag more people in the morning) & follow @911bts who keeps track of literally EVERYTHING 911.

Okay, 911blr 101 is couch theory. What is couch theory you ask? well, it all starts at the beginning of S6 when Buck's couch (or lack there of) was used as a metaphor for Buck's romantic relationships. In S5, when Taylor moved into Buck's apartment replaced Buck's couch (that he got with Ali) with her own. When Buck and Taylor broke up, she took the couch with her, leaving Buck couchless. The connection between girlfriends and couches first comes up during a conversation with Buck, Eddie, and Christopher. Buck's struggle to find the 'perfect' couch reflects Buck's struggle to find the perfect person to partner up with. At the end of the episode, Buck decides to move his armchair where the couch used to be, signifying that he is trying to become comfortable with himself outside of a relationship.

Then we get to the start of S6b. Buck's parents come to town, Buck gets struck by lightning (as one does), and his parents buy him a new couch. There is probably some metaphor there about family and blah blah blah, but that doesn't matter because the couch is uncomfortable and Buck can't sleep on it and everyone keeps bothering him, and who does Buck run to? He runs to Eddie. And then he falls asleep on Eddie's couch.

and like this is a big fucking deal. because it shows that he is comfortable with Eddie! he feels safe in Eddie's home! he is more safe and comfortable on Eddie's couch than he is on his own and Eddie welcomes him there!! and couch = romantic relationship, so falling asleep on eddie's couch = relationship with Eddie???? There is another scene in S6 where Christopher falls asleep on the couch and people are like!! we are connecting the dots! (we were not connecting the dots)

and then!!!! the Kameron gives birth on Buck's couch and the couch is ruined and then y'all never guess what happens. In one of the last scenes of s6 Buck asks his brand new love interest Natalia if she wants to go couch-shopping and everyone is like WTF???? aren't we past this?? didn't we just have this conversation about NOT buying a couch with ur gf at the beginning of this season???

uhhh this explanation was NOT supposed to get this long. okay, let's speedrun this shit. The Christmas Elf!! Very important!! OG Buddie Queen!! Buck Navy Seal AUs (ugh. he literally talked about how he was too emotional for the Seals I hate this AU so fucking much!!) everyone is fucking irrational about the lawsuit arc, just filter that shit out. eddie = gay and/or demisexual. buck = christopher's second dad. literally, everyone is bisexual. Chimney? bi. Bobby? bi. Maddie? bi. is this canon? no, except for in my heart. there is SO much that I am missing. but if u are still reading this drop ur favorite/least favorite fanon theories in the chat and drop the @'s of some good blogs to follow. OH!!! ALSO!!! do NOT trust Tim (the showrunner) that man LIES!!!

[gyofukuki]

Shipping Info | Answer the following for your muses so people know how shipping works on your blog

What is your OTP for your character(s)?

None of them come with an OTP! I'm just here to write stories, so while the canon serves as a valued background, we all start from scratch otherwise!

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

Short answer - depends! To me the matter of age can, but doesn't have to be tied to screwed power dynamics where adults are concerned. So I'd be wary of that, but not in an absolute way, if that makes sense.

Long answer:

When they are still developing physically and mentally, I'd keep them really close in age, classmate childhood sweethearts and all that, for the simple reason that the development is relatively rapid and what "being together" means changes with that.

Where adults are concerned, I'm biased toward them being in a similar stage on life at least (young adults with young adults, middle aged critters with middle aged critters and so on), but otherwise, two adults able and willing to give their consent is just fine with me when they're aligned enough otherwise.

And then where it gets to lifespans much different than average human, it's up for talks cause obviously it will depend on lore and whatnot (above points still applying).

How far do steamy moments have to go before they are considered NSFT?

Uh, for me usually it's generally a pre-plotted sorta thing, so even if it's starting with banter, it may be tagged as such or as suggestive at least. Otherwise, I'd say when you can tell the intention switches, it's enough to go the safe route and mark it for others.

Are you selective when shipping?

Yes but mostly just in a sense of - can we figure out a love story together that will ring true for our characters? So it makes some of the critters in my roster easier, some - much harder, to ship.

Who are other characters you ship your character with?

That'd be a list as long as my history of rping, which is over ten years hshshs, but if you ever curious specifically don't hesitate tot ask!

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Well, gotta acknowledge first that none of the critters here are mine so, there's that. But if you wanna write a specific storyline with me, yep, chances for it going your way rise if we are in contact! At the same time, nothing against winging it and seeing where it goes.

Are you ship-obsessed or ship more-or-less?

S-somewhere in between?

What is your favourite ship in your current fandom?

Don't have one.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Ah, probably spoiled that one already with previous answers kgjahgasl but welp, if you wanna test waters, feel free to just throw your critter at mine in any way and we can see how that goes. If you wanna have something pre-established tho, let's talk and figure it out together. If we've been writing for a while and you want to head that way, also let me know in any way that feels comfy for you.

Tagged by: @chikoyama thank youuuu!

Tagging: if you like the thingy, fill in the thingy! it may be helpful for other shippers out there uwu

[marvel-television]

The X-Men: Evolution tie in comics suck, issue 1

I typically talk about the old MCU shows on this blog, but I also really love X-Men: Evolution and finally got around to watching season 4 the other day. It is far and away my favorite X-Men adaptation, and up there with the likes of Agents of Shield, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Cloak & Dagger in terms of my favorite marvel shows.

After I finished the show, I started getting mad that there wasn't more, and that TAS got the revival instead of Evolution. Lo and behold, there was a nine issue long tie in comic series for the show, made during the second season. Of course I decided to read them, you can't go wrong with more X-Men Evolution, right?

Wrong. These comics fucking suck, and I'm gonna show you why. Let's start at the beginning, with Issue 1, "Lines in the Sand".

The first couple of issues take place before the first season of the show, and provide some extra backstory for certain characters. This first issue starts with a couple of guys finding Logan half naked in the middle of the woods, before cutting to Xavier, who just finished a college lecture. A car crashes into a tree nearby, and Storm, who is currently a grad student, uses her powers and rescues the people inside.

This right here shows the first issue with these comics. In the first two seasons of X-Men: Evolution, the public doesn't know that mutants exist. In the first ten minutes of the first episode of the show, the Professor erases a cop's memories when Scott got his glasses knocked off and accidentally blew up a propane tank.

Meanwhile, several times throughout these comics, mutants will use their powers in public, and Charles just does nothing about it. Again, these comics came out during the second season, there is no excuse for the people writing these comics to not know that this is a part of the show's lore. I'll keep bringing up these moments when they happen, but for now, let's move on.

Anyways, later in the night, Professor X comes up to Storm while she's walking home, and tells her that she's a mutant, but what's strange is that he doesn't seem as though he actually knows for sure what mutants are and what causes their powers. I don't think it contradicts the show, and it's kinda interesting, but still, I thought it was worth bringing up.

Cut to the mansion, the Professor and Magneto are discussing Storm, and he reiterates that he didn't know there were any other mutants. This is all pretty standard Charles and Erik mutant philosophy talk. Take note of the maid, she'll be important in a minute.

Erik turns on what I guess is the TV equivalent of LiveLeak, and there's Logan, wrestling a bear and using his claws. Again, nobody is supposed to know about mutants other than the people in this room. I genuinely don't know how this got through to release.

Erik mentions that Wolverine is in police custody, and the Professor says he's gonna go save him. As he leaves, we see the maid revealed to be Mystique, and the Professor had no clue that she was a mutant, somehow. He can literally read minds, how did he not idly sense that? Her being immune to mind reading isn't an argument, since she doesn't unlock those powers until later on, and even if she did have those powers, you'd think Charles would be able to notice that he can't read this random maid's mind.

The Professor locates Wolverine through Cerebro, which Storm supplied the electricity for, and they head off to find him. By the time they get there, Logan's already escaped from jail, and while the cops are sent in the wrong direction by Mystique disguised as a homeless person, Storm gets him to stop running long enough for the Professor to give him his whole pitch for his ideology. But then Magneto shows up, and also starts giving his pitch.

Logan chooses the Professor, obviously, and Magneto pretty much just leaves after that. This next page is literally the last one before a timeskip. No fight, nothing. Come on, man...

Fast forward to a year later, the Professor has an upgraded Cerebro, and locates Scott Summers, who they're gonna recruit in the next issue.

All in all, the first issue isn't great. The issues with mutants just using their powers out in the open really prevent me from seeing this as an actual backstory for how Storm and Logan got recruited, and the climax of the issue was very boring. It's far from the worst issue of the run, but it's sure not great, either. I'll continue this series with the next few issues whenever I feel like it, because the problems with this comic are only getting started.

[ausrache]

𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗶 & 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻. — 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘣𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘮, 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦.

description: this is the first post of a series of meta & world-building posts that will explore the symbolism of certain characters. they go more in-depth into their place within the world's lore, their powers as well as their general character. the first characters will be the main muse of the blog: mali. ( for the sake of simplicity, she will also be referred to as mali in this post even though her name as a goddess was b'aelzei. ) content warning(s):mentions of blood.

as an entity of the void, mali prevailed in an environment which was doused in darkness ever since it came into existence. its only nourishment had been the negative energy that flowed through the universe & thus, it was no surprise that it only created creatures with fitting attributes. alas, there was mali. b'aelzei, as she was once called. a goddess of justice. retribution. vengeance, in its most negative sense. & yet, these concepts were often even seen as something positive, especially in hopeless environments; the desert-like garden of the end, the void where lawlessness & chaos prevailed. creatures that roamed these lands only followed the concept of to eat or to be eaten; the stronger ones prevailed, no matter how dirty they fought. no matter how unjust their climb was.

but then came mali.

an entity that defied everything within the void. a paradox. she was a twist of the fates; a gamble, really. they wanted to see what would happen if a goddess of justice would be born into a world where injustice had reigned for over millions of years. they thought she would be eaten. consumed by the unjust & darkness of the creatures. she was a joke. an experiment at best.

but mali prevailed.

she became a beacon.

she became the moon.

at least, in a symbolic sense. just like the moon, mali would reflect the injustice upon those who brought it to this world. just like the moon, mali would reflect the justice of the cosmos upon those who needed it. through mali's existence, a new era was ushered into this dark environment — for a lot of tinier, weaker creatures they saw mali's reign as hope. she was like light in this darkness. through associating themselves with her, they could escape the fate that seemed inescapable for so long.

however, mali didn't just acquire her position within the void by simply existing. no. it took several hundred thousand years before she was at a place where she had become influential enough to provide shelter for weaker entities. she tore through the desert like any other budding god; tearing herself through the flesh & dirt, consuming the souls of unjust beings & growing in power. a self-made entity whose had all the odds against her, ever since it was decided that she should even exist.

but it didn't stop there.

as the fates realized that their plan had backfired, they obviously tried to make it harder on the young entity at the time. however, even as they created new gods & creatures to torment her — mali would not back down. like the moon, she would reflect their own injustice upon themselves until they self-destructed. that is what her justice is. imposing a reflection of one's actions upon themselves; illuminating their souls with their own behavior. for some, it wouldn't do anything. but in a land where the most grotesque & horrible behavior was the norm? where it even was rewarded with more power? a being who could bring punishment to those who were unjust would flourish as long as they didn't back down. as long as they pushed forward.

& for a while, the forces that went against her would cease. the young goddess thought she could make a change within this world. transform it. bring forth another cycle of life that wouldn't just be dictated by injustice. to bring some sort of guidance. real hope.

oh, how naive she was.

mali forgot that she, too, was a product of this world. she was nourished by the darkness. by the negativity. by everything that shaped the void. just like the moon, she also had a dark side. the shadows that lingered within her soul were bound to erupt & swallow everythng in its path but she didn't know. she didn't want to know. perhaps, she was aware of what had been happening to her, yet ignored it. made excuses. she hasn't eaten in so long. she hasn't eaten in so long. the moon was waning. its light dimmed. & when there was no light left, the shadows were unshackled.

under the blood moon, the goddess of vengeance would arise.

in an instant, everything that she had built for herself was gone. taken by her own hand. consumed. bit by bit. the wasteland was wasteland once more as the fates laughed from above, watching the eclipsed moon as it struggled to understand what happened. no one would ever be able to beat their nature, would they? she had never been so different from those lawless beings of injustice that she had once killed. she, too, had used them to acquire strength. was she any different?

as the blood moon came to a close & the cosmos was able to shine its light upon mali once again; the darkness ceased. for a while. it would come back, she was sure. with every eclipse; every time there was no light to be reflected; no justice to illuminate the world; mali would become one of them. a true voidborne whose nature was written into the sand from which she had risen millions of years ago.

as the waxing moon represented the light of justice.

the waning moon would forever be a reminder that vengeance was near.

one that was all-consuming. every negative aspect. every mishap. every wrong-doing. it wouldn't matter.

the blood moon consumed it all under mali's gaze.

after the events that transpired after her first 'eclipsed state' mali fled to the human world where she would eventually loose her original body to the poet & wander through the mortal plane as a ghost for thousands of years. it is certainly possible that even the poet's existence itself had been another ploy by the fates to finally kill mali for good. she contradicts her own self. she's a paradox. a mistake. something that shouldn't exist in the first place. & the fates wished to eradicate every smudge upon their perfectly laid out plan for this world.

at present time, mali watches the moon in melancholy & regret. she searches for answers but no one ever speaks to her. the universe once sang through the moon, coaxing her into transforming the land with her own two hands. but now? it was silent. deadly silent. perhaps, all the gods are dead. perhaps, even the moon in the sky doesn't know the answers anymore. & yet, every time it slowly disappears from the nightsky, she feels the darkness within her grow. despite its silence, it still coaxes her with a shrilling cry for vengeance & doom.

but does she know her name? does she know her story? the moon & the universe that reflect upon mali; she is but a stranger to them. a vessel, at best. a disposable tool, at worst. after all, if she was to die, they could simply create another entity as a vessel for whatever they wished to achieve. for all that she knows, there has never been any hope in this world — and the light of the moon has never been so dim.

TLDR; moon symbolism.

REFLECTION — mali's power rely on reflection. her powers act like a mirror to the other person, particularly their character as well as their actions. mali cannot harm or bring justice to a person whose behavior does not reflect such. additionally, mali does not decide which actions should be punished by her powers; she simply reflects the will of the comos & the fates, acting as a vessel of the universe. this directly corresponds to how the moon reflects the sunlight & thus, brings us light.

ILLUMINATING — just like the moon in the darkest of night, mali was seen as a beacon of hope within the void. she was the force that illuminated the place & made it possible for weaker beings to exist.

TRANSFORMATION/CYCLES — with mali's doings, she wanted to transform the void & the entities that lived there. however, she was unable to. but it still speaks to the moon symbolism as the moon, in a sense, trandsforms, too. that 'transformation' is just an optical illusion of light, though, as the moon never really physically changes. in the same sense, mali's transformation of the void was also just a mere illusion & it never really changed in the first place.

GUIDANCE — the moon is often seen as a beacon within the night & helps people find themselves within the darkness. this was also mali's mission within the void.

TLDR; blood moon & eclipse symbolism.

OMEN OF DOOM — just like the blood moon, mali's transformation under the waning influence of the cosmos meant for impending doom. on earth, it is no different. the eclipsed moon signals the time where the universes' influence on mali's voidborne powers is the weakest, thus, leaving room for said doom.

SHADOWS — this is pretty self-explanatory; the blood moon rises during a lunar exclipse when the earth's shadow partially or fully blocks the sunlight from reaching the moon which makes it appear red. mali's light (aka her sense for justice or her "humanity", to a certain degree) are also blocked due to external forces, humans being one of them, which severs her ties to the universe & unleashes the shadows within her.

TRANSFORMATION & RENEWAL — through eclipses, the moon can be seen as it 'renews' itself; in mali's case, this is almost the same. mali's powers & vitality both gain a boost through this process, even if it extremely painful.

WAXING & WANING MOON — with the waxing moon illuminating/showcasing more light, the justice & light within mali grow. however, as it wanes; so, do the traits within her. the need for blood & violence rise with the waxing of the moon, making her prone to revert to her voidborne tendencies.

next part here (coming soon! mali & the hare. )

[fallenclan]

How do you keep track of all the cats? I’ve been looking at clan gen blogs but it seems overwhelming to keep track of so many characters.

How do you know which interactions are important enough to note. I know romance, death, kits and new clan cats are notable but beyond that it seems hard?

Is your play session one moon at a time? Or are you able to do multiple moons?

Hopefully this is not too much at once I’m just hoping to get a bit of advice ig

no problem! not too much at once at all lol

for keeping track of all the cats, i don't find it too difficult just because i spend so much time with them--drawing them, writing little bits, thinking about relationship dynamics and family trees and such. for people who aren't as autistic about them as i am, i imagine its very difficult to keep track lmao. best suggestion i'd have if you're having trouble with your own cats is just to have a document with their name, maybe a brief description, and a few bits of lore. for instance: "Goldenstar (long furred golden tabby tom) - mate [Morningbloom] died in childbirth, was made deputy at a young age, was leader for most of his life" stuff like that!

for interactions, its mostly a personal preference thing. obviously i show favoritism to my cats and so i'll draw more interactions involving them. or if i see an interaction between two cats that aren't my favorites, but the interaction is interesting, i'll draw it! or if it's something like, say, otterslip and stormsight not getting along, i'll hop back a couple moons (i usually have a few posts queued up) and sneak in a few negative interactions, just so that the crux of the relationship (in this case, murder) doesn't come out of left field. i also draw patrols that are interesting to me, and (as i've mentioned before) usually avoid drawing every time a cat gets a sprain or a runny nose. if i did that, i would be so burnt out lmao, i usually only draw serious injuries like a broken back or clawed eyes

my play sessions! personally, i have a little rule that i need to have (at least) 3 drawings per post. they don't have to be extensive drawings, but i like to have them, so i just do as many moons as is necessary. sometimes i'll just have one moon per post, other times 3, or even more if one or two of the moons doesn't have any interesting events! i try not to skip ahead any further than one full post, because personally, if i see All That Stuff i have to draw with no gameplay in between, it'll intimidate me into not drawing at all. i encourage you to try out what works for You, though, bc what works for me won't work for everyone :)

have fun! lmk if i can help with anything else

[spicymoonmenace]

Club AU FAQ

These are some questions I've typically gotten every so often or ones I think would be important enough to answer!

(I'll be updating this over time if more questions come up!)

Can I make my own Club AU?

I don’t own the concept of Sun/Moon/Eclipse working in a club, so by all means go for it! Obviously just don’t go using my specific characters/designs/lore/concept and please don't heavily base yours around mine. If you’re worried about something being too heavily inspired feel free to message me about it!

Can I make fanart?

Yes, absolutely! I’m very open to people drawing fanart for the Club AU, just credit me is all! Feel free to draw the boys with your original characters, fan characters, sonas, or yourself if you’d like too! Romantic/16+ sexy art is a-ok! Also please don't be afraid to keep tagging me if you happen to make a lot of art or feel like you're spamming me, I'm very happy and appreciative for all the art I receive!

Can I write stuff about the AU?

I’m ok with people writing stuff! However, I highly prefer you not write your own lore dense multi-chapter fic(s) based around what goes on in the club since I do plan to write an official fic eventually. I also highly prefer that you state somewhere in your writing that it’s non-canon and credit me. You’re more than welcome to write things with yourself, characters, or sonas getting into shenanigans with the boys. Again romantic/16+ sexy stuff is a-ok! Also please tag me cause I’d love to read it!!

Can I write or draw AU crossovers using the Club AU?

Yep, that’s fine! Just credit me, and also follow the rules of the previous question!

Can I make 18+/explicit art and/or writing for the AU?

I’m ok with N/S/F/W stuff AS LONG AS you are of age (18 years old or older), you tag/label your work properly, and you credit me. You're more than welcome to post your stuff on tumblr and tag me in it or send me asks with it, I just won't be reblogging it or posting your asks. If you post or link it on Twitter feel free to tag the 18+ Twitter (@club_eden_au)! If you post it on A03 you're more than welcome to link/gift/tag this blog or my A03 account!

Can I send N/S/F/W related questions?

I don't mind getting those kinds of asks, but if it's way too explicit then I'd prefer not to answer them! Casual 'spicy' questions are ok tho! (For example, I won't go into like extreme sexual detail about the boys (that'll be on twitter), but heavily suggestive stuff is ok!)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So, I weirdly haven’t written enough about this on this blog so far, given what a big thing it is for me – I’m going to the fucking UK this summer. For real this time. For real. Here is a post about it.

I first posted on this blog about wanting to go to the UK in early 2021, I think. I remember making posts about how maybe once the vaccines were finally released, and I was all vaccinated, travel would be safe, and I could go for a little while before I start my college courses again. That didn’t happen for quite a few reasons.

I spent much of 2021 planning a hypothetical trip, knowing it probably couldn’t really happen, because obviously things like this don’t really happen, but I needed something to fantasize about in the depths of lockdown. It’s odd that a global pandemic made me interested in international travel for the first time. Pre-COVID, my life was so full of a single sport that I didn’t really have time to think about anything else as a hobby. I was on the road most weekends, but that road was the 401, driving off to the same few cities anywhere from two to twelve hours away, to sleep in a cheap hotel or on someone’s gym floor and then shout at teenagers at day and immediately drive home. Every once in a while we’d go to a tournament in the States, which counted as exciting international travel. The idea of actually seeing places that are not in or near the border with my country just hadn’t occurred to me.

Then the world ended, I fell deep into the Britcom rabbit hole, all that stuff. And in 2021, I got really into 1) memorizing how to label all the countries and major cities in the world, and all the counties or other regional areas in the UK and Ireland, on a blank map, because I’d learned that the larger world existed and I wanted to be clear about where it all is, and 2) going through places I’ve never been on Google Earth, usually while listening to audio comedy. I also took to looking up things to do in the UK on Trip Advisor, mapping the route on Google Maps and following it on Google Earth, knowing this was all for a hypothetical fantasy trip but still researching things like train fares and schedules because it was more fun if it felt like it could be real.

I’m fascinated by the idea of places that are Different From Here being actual real physical places where people could actually go. Which is especially weird in this case because I actually have been to the UK. I have a godmother there, whom I’ve met in person three times, twice when she’s come to Canada and once when for my sixteenth birthday she paid for my mother and I to go to England for a week. We stayed at her place in London, did all the tourist-y things, also spent a day in some spot in Somerset but I’m fuzzy on where or why, it was 2006. My clearest memory of the week is seeing Spamalot on St. Patrick’s Day and thinking it was the coolest thing ever. I’ve also got fairly clear memories of climbing stairs at St. Paul’s Cathedral, thinking Westminster Abbey was the most beautiful building I’d ever seen, and seeing some extremely cool stuff at the British Library including some original handwritten Beatles lyrics. And I remember the tube and being impressed that the cars really do have driver doors on the wrong side, that’s not just a thing they made up on Fawlty Towers.

Still, it was so long ago, and it was such a short time compared to the amount of time that I’ve spent watching Britian on TV, that it does feel a bit like Britain is a fictional place that exists on TV. Obviously I realize that’s a very ignorant North American thing for me to say, and in my defense I think I know a hell of a lot more about Britain than the average ignorant North American. I can label all the regions in England, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales in under five minutes. But I’ve got to admit, on a visceral level, learning all that stuff does feel a bit like memorizing lore in a fantasy novel.

There is kind of an appeal in the idea that… okay, the last time I was this obsessed with something besides a sport in which I actually participated, I was a kid in the Harry Potter fandom. I was a kid who read a lot of books, and a lot of my favourites happened to be British fantasy or sci-fi novels (Harry Potter, CS Lewis, Tolkein, His Dark Materials, Douglas Adams), but Harry Potter was the one that took over my life from the ages of about ten to fourteen. You classic situation of – didn’t have friends in real life, all my social interaction came from Harry Potter message boards, a vast chunk of my free time dedicated to reading every passage of the books over and over and over and analyzing them and writing things about them and I made some friends on the internet who loved Luna Lovegood as much as I did. Then I got to high school and started wrestling and made some friends in real life and slowly moved away from online fandom, didn’t do anything except that for fifteen years, then the world ended, I came back and found a new online fandom that was also British but had less magic and more panel shows, then the author turned out to be a terrible person and ruined my childhood.

Anyway. The point is that I remember when I was a kid, obviously I spent ages fantasizing about being able to actually go to all those places in Harry Potter. But I couldn’t, because those are not real places. Well, my new foray into fandom also feels a bit like that – like this fictional thing I’ve got obsessed with that no one around me knows anything about but some people on the internet are into it. Except that this time, the place where all these things happen is actually a real place, and I can pay money to go there. This concept remains amazing to me.

So I mapped out the idea of this trip a couple of years ago, and for a long time, it stayed in a limbo between fantasy and genuine possibility. I did actually start working out budgets and putting money aside for it, but all the while thinking this won’t actually work. I was starting to do things post-lockdown again, the sense that we were all locked down so nothing is real so I may as well engaged in some escapism and plan some fantasy trips – that started to give way to regular life, and in regular life, I’m not a person who does shit like that. I can’t just fly across the ocean to see a fictional place. I still had it vaguely in my head that maybe someday I’d like to, but I stopped actively planning anything.

But at the same time, the whole concept of Britain was starting to feel a bit less fictional (I’m… I’m feeling the need to clarify, again, that this is just a sort of emotional automatic response to put “the place where Britcom happens” in the “fictional” category in my brain… I did not at any point genuinely think the United Kingdom was fictional… especially since I’ve been there before). I do remember the first time I got physical, tangible proof that the people in the fictional Britcom world are real, when Russell Howard came to my city in March 2022 (my then-girlfriend got us tickets because she knew I liked British comedians, she was excited about it so I didn’t tell her that actually I’m mad at him for the Jordan Peterson apologism so don’t want to go, it’s not something I’d have chosen myself but it was a thoughtful gift and to be fair an extremely fun night), and I could not get over the idea that the man from the fictional place was here in real life displacing air like he’s a real human being and actually all of it is physically real. Over the next few months I did an 8.5-hour drive to New York City to see Nish Kumar, and then two months later a 2-hour drive to see him do the same show in Montreal, because it was that fucking great a show. I also saw James Acaster in Montreal, and a club night with Dara O’Briain and Fern Brady and Phil Wang and Tom Allen and Sindhu Vee and every single one of them was an actual real person breathing the same air as me. Before the show I saw Dara O’Briain on the street and was so shocked that I hit my mother too hard to show her and she jumped and the commotion attracted his attention and I didn’t know what to do except stare at him like he was a zoo animal until he smiled awkwardly at me and went on his way.

Things like this did rather renew my interest in a trip, not just for the novelty of seeing a place that feels fictional, but for the more practical purposes of seeing my favourite comedians live. My interests within Britcom were starting to shift significantly toward stand-up, I got obsessed for a while with learning everything about the history of the Edinburgh Festival in the 21st Century, it seemed like another world, the time of the Chocolate Milk Gang and 24-hour shows from the early 00s, but then I watched videos on the internet that were filmed at the 2022 Edinburgh Festival and realized this place is actually real and still happening now and it is technically possible to go there.

After that, the concept rapidly became de-fictionalized in my mind when I sent someone a message on a comedy forum, in the hopes of finding a few comedy recordings that I heard existed, and by complete coincidence stumbled upon the best person I possibly could have. I’d thought worst case scenario is he doesn’t reply and I will be left to assume he saw my message and considered it horribly rude, great scenario is he has a few things I’m asking for, amazing best case scenario is maybe he has lots of stuff and is willing to share. As it happened, I got the best case scenario, plus far more than that. Specifically, a the coolest fucking person I could possibly have found, as a new friend, direct interaction that made all of this seem a hell of a lot less fictional very, very fast. He said things like “So are you ever going to come out here and actually see this stuff yourself”, and I said things like “Obviously I have plotted a route and looked up train fares but don’t be silly, that was just the stuff of lockdown-induced dreams.”

I quickly started planning things more seriously, but at the same time, the editing work I’d been doing started drying up, I had a bit of a financial crisis where I became concerned that I’d be unable to pay rent, and couldn’t save for a trip. I followed the 2023 Edinburgh Festival from afar, from NextUp streams and hearing stories about it from a friend who actually went there and sent me pictures, which was so fucking cool, and it was all so very very real.

I got a new job, this one much harder because it involves leaving the house all day for five days a week, but also it’s much more stable than the editing work I did for all of lockdowns, and I was able to start saving money in the second half of 2023. I learned that the place where I work shuts down for the last week of July, and the Monday of the following week is a holiday. So I put in a request for just four days off, the Tuesday-Friday, to create a two-week holiday. One week in London at the end of July, and one week in Edinburgh during the first week of the Edinburgh Festival.

The time off got approved (barely, I was told I can’t book any other vacation time in 2024, but I got it) in late 2023, and it was so exciting, and that’s the first time it started to feel even a little bit real. Then I booked an Air B&B for the week in Edinburgh, because it’s my understanding that accommodation availability and prices are a huge issue there and you want to book early. I think I did well, though. Found a place that’s not cheap but not unfeasibly expensive, I can have my own room and it’s a 50-minute walk or 10-minute bus from Edinburgh city centre. It was so exciting to book the place, put some money down, finally have something on the books for sure. Though I did triple check that it’s fully refundable if I cancel up until pretty much the day before, just in case something goes wrong.

I booked the flights over Christmas. They weren’t cheap, but I was able to afford them without destroying my ability to pay rent, because it turns out there is a reason why I put myself through human interaction for 8-10 hours five days a week. I did pay an extra fee to give myself the ability to pay another fee and cancel them, because still, it felt like I can’t be totally sure this will actually work. But that was a big commitment.

And that’s pretty well the main things sorted out. I still have to book a whole lot of train tickets, but I have the flights. I have the time off work. I have the Edinburgh accommodation. I have accommodation in London, because the absolute coolest person I could possibly come across on a comedy message board has a spare room, and is extremely kind and generous with his time and space, and I’ve said some pretty disparaging things about that message board before (based on some quite bad threads from like fifteen years ago, that I spent weeks reading in their entirety because, you know, autism), and I would like to take them all back.

Now they’ve announced the first bunch of acts at the 2024 Edinburgh Festival, and I’ve been going through picking out which ones look most interesting to me, and for maybe the first time, it’s finally feeling completely, entirely real. This is happening. For real this time. I am going through an Edinburgh Festival catalogue not just to take screenshots of the most interesting blurbs so I can save them in a folder and/or post them on my blog to say here’s an interesting piece of history. I am going through it to pick what shows I wish to see.

So here’s my plan, that I’m writing because I now feel confident that I think it’s actually going to happen. Obviously I have a spreadsheet with various tabs, and a KMZ file so I can open Google Earth with all the places I might potentially want to see already marked. I have been planning this trip for years. I have two weeks in the UK, and I don’t want to waste a single second. I want to make sure all that time spent planning comes to something, because as a fundamental part of my personality, I have always believed that there is a level of planning you can do to guarantee that everything goes right. This belief has been proven wrong time and time again, but I’ve never tried something with this much planning beforehand, so surely this time it’ll work. No taking a chance on some tourist attraction that might turn out to be shit, because I’ll have looked at it all on Google Earth beforehand and ranked things in order of how cool they look.

I have organized my spreadsheet into seven tabs: overview, plan by day, places to eat, things to see London, in Edinburgh, in Cambridge, and things to pack. I have organized each “things to see” tab into three sections: things I want to see for reasons related to general tourism, things I want to see for reasons related to comedy, and things I want to see for reasons related to Harry Potter. I apologize for the latter, and obviously I will not be doing anything that would give revenue to JK Rowling. But nothing JK Rowling can say in the 2020s will change my childhood, and I need to spend some amount of time indulging my childhood dreams of running around fancy buildings feeling like I’m in a magical British land.

London, tourism: pretty straightforward. Westminster Abbey and St. Paul’s Cathedral are on the list, because I remember how cool they were last time, and because for some reason when I stopped being Christian at age 16 I did not also get rid of my awe at fancy churches. I want to see Parliament and related areas, I want to try to get a picture of the Number 10 door as seen in Yes Minister. I want to see some bridges. Take a cable car across a river. Go look at Douglas Adams in Highgate Cemetery (I realize there are more famous people than Douglas Adams there, I’d like to see them too, but mainly Douglas Adams). Go see what The British Library has going on while I’m there. There are too many pubs on the list given the fact that I’m currently trying to stop drinking, I am going to cut some of those pubs off the list and I’m just trying to decide which ones, but I really love a good pub and the ones in London look so cool and even if I can’t have a pint I want to sit there in the atmosphere and have a burger or some shit.

Harry Potter tour of London is simple. Obviously I want to go look at King’s Cross Station, I did it when I was 16 and it was so fucking cool, I don’t care how stupid that is. Otherwise, I’ve looked up three different areas that were used in filming Diagon Alley, and according to Google Earth, seem like the do sort of look like Diagon Alley-like places. That’s what’s interesting to me. I’m not really interested in places where the movies just happened to be filmed (the movies were fine, I’ve seen them a couple of times each, but it was the books that I read until I had them nearly memorized), I want to see places that look like they could be where the books were actually set. And Goodwin’s Court appears to look like where Harry Potter could have actually been set. So I’ve made an appointment to go walk down a road.

For the comedy-related locations in London, there are a few venues I want to see. Ideally while something’s playing in them, but even if there’s nothing I’m interested in at the Soho Theatre while I’m there, I’d still want to go in and just see the building, after the all the shows I’ve seen and heard that were recorded there. Same with The Bill Murray. Battersea Arts Centre. I also wish to make a pilgrimage to the bit of Regent’s Park where Daniel Kitson’s done some of the most landmark nights of comedy in the last twenty years. Obviously I want to go stand outside the gates to the Taskmaster house and see just how close it is to that golf course. (There will also be a few hours of the itinerary where I might just leave some of the details blank, no need to get too much into what I want to see there, it’s in my spreadsheet as just “Crystal Palace”, and I will say that if you don’t want people to go look at a place where you used to live, don’t make your address the title of your theatre show – I need to stress again, just so we’re clear about what level of creepiness I’m talking about here, it is a former address, not anywhere that anyone significant lives now or has lived for the last fifteen years, it's just the subject of comedy stories that are now long in the past, as are various surrounding landmarks, it’s archaeology.)

Now, in Edinburgh I’ve put a lot fewer things on the itinerary, because I want to leave most of my time for going to see comedy shows. And going to see a couple of music shows, because that first wave of events they’ve announced includes a couple of traditional Scottish music things that I am so excited about, it’s going to be mostly comedy but I do want to do that as well. Celtic music, Harry Potter, British comedy – all the biggest special interests of my life besides the one where you beat people up, all easy to access at this festival (I mean, technically Edinburgh has something called wrestling too, but it’s best if I don’t hear anyone try to compare the Max + Ivan wrestling to the sport that I do).

I do want to climb Arthur’s Seat, because I’ve done it about a hundred times in Google Earth so I just have to do it in real life. When Mark Watson released his book last year, I got the signed and dedicated version and he said we can tell him about a problem we have for him to solve in the dedication. I said my problem is I’m going to London and Edinburgh next year and need advice on where to go, he said I should climb Scott’s Monument. Even though my levels of respect for Mark Watson have dropped significantly since that book actually came out, I am still going to climb Scott’s Monument because Mark Watson told me to.

Similarly, this extremely kind and cool person I know recently got the chance to get me an autographed copy of Tim Key’s new book (which I unfortunately won’t get until I go to London and pick it up in person, but it looks great), where he also asked Tim to give me some advice for my trip. Tim Key said to go to Mosque Kitchen, and Indian restaurant in Edinburgh, so I’m doing that. Oh, and while I’m in London I have to go to a place called Kebab Kid, because it’s Nish Kumar’s favourite shawarma place in England, which I know because I know a guy who could just walk up to Nish Kumar after one of his gigs and ask him what his favourite shawarma place is. Have I mentioned how fucking cool this is?

Anyway. That’s the extent of my interest in Edinburgh tourism, mainly. I mean, if I were going when the festival weren’t on, there would be plenty of other stuff I want to see. But I don’t want to take time away from festival events. I might do the castle. The castle’s probably cool. I definitely want to walk up that hill, as I’ve done many times on Google Earth, and look at the castle. Whether I pay to go inside will depend if there’s a hole in the comedy schedule, I guess.

In the Edinburgh – Harry Potter section, I have a few things. Greyfriar’s Kirkyard, the graveyard with the story about the dog that’s probably bullshit (I mean, it happened, but I think someone was just feeding that dog) but the story about how it inspired Harry Potter character names that’s true. Go get a picture of Tom Riddle’s grave. I’ve marked a couple of streets and a couple of buildings that look particularly like they could be from Harry Potter, those are on the list of places to walk. There’s a Harry Potter store that I want to go in and look through the stuff because the interior seems really cool, but I promise I would never spend money in there.

And then Edinburgh – comedy will probably take care of itself. I want to see The Stand and The Gilded Balloon, as the sites of many of my favourite comedy events over the last twenty years. But I’m hoping I’ll end up in those places anyway to see shows, so no need to make a special trip. If not, though, I’m making a special trip. I have to see the stage where the cow got torn apart. I absolutely have to go see it in person.

There is also the Cambridge tab, because I have blocked off one of my London days to take a train to Cambridge and back. I have made a Google Earth document with about 20 of the most interesting-seeming colleges marked. Obviously I’m not going to see 20 colleges, I’m going to look at them all in Google Earth and then rank them by how cool they look and go see as many as I can in order. I have also, of course, marked down which ones let you take tours and at what times. The place I’m most excited to see is the Wren Library, which appears to be a library from Harry Potter or His Dark Materials or something. I want to see Trinity College because it’s the college on which Douglas Adams based the college in the first Dirk Gently book. A few of the colleges have chapels that look really pretty and are interesting to me because I have for some reason not lost my awe of pretty churches. And mainly, I just want to walk around the Cambridge University grounds looking at stuff.

Oh, and we’re leaving another day to take a train to Kent, where they have an archive of stand-up comedy materials that I wish to see. But I haven’t made a tab for that, because I just want to see some stuff in the University of Kent and then go back to London.

I am also hoping I can block out one day from the Edinburgh week to not book any shows, and just take trains around Scotland. I have always wanted to take trains around Scotland. I have always romanticized trains, I have always romanticized Scotland, taking a train through rural parts of Scotland will make me feel like I’m on the Hogwarts Express, it’s everything my over-romanticizing heart fantasized about when imagining this trip. I’ve checked, and while it would be an incredibly long day, it is possible to take a train from Edinburgh to Mallaig in the morning, have a couple of hours in Mallaig, and take another train back at night. This would take me, twice, through something that’s supposed to be one of the most beautiful train journeys in the world, from Glasgow to Mallaig. Mallaig is a tiny village on the West Coast of Scotland and it’s got a hiking trail and a pub and I just want to take a train across a country and walk around the trail and then sit in that pub and look at the ocean. I want that so badly. It’s been a rough couple of months, I find it hard to spend 8 to 10 hours a day interacting with other people, the thought that one day in early August I might spend one hour sitting in a pub in Mallaig looking at the ocean is really getting me the through the day at this point. There are a few pubs in Mallaig, but obviously I’ve picked out my favourite. I want to eat seafood. I love seafood. That’s not just a Mallaig thing, seafood is my favourite food and I always eat lots of it when I visit the East Coast of Canada because it’s better near the ocean. All of Britain is near the ocean, so I want to eat all their seafood.

Okay, that’s the plan. I was going to write about what I’m thinking in terms of actual shows to see, but I might let that turn into a different post. Right now, I’m just excited about the idea of posting this on the internet because it is real and I am actually going to do it and having this to look forward to is way too big a proportion of my motivation at this point in my life.