#obviously pirates cannot exist without Jack

[smilesrobotlover]

If Jack is still in the 6th movie I would love to see Angelica again cuz I think she’s such a fun character and needs development from Black beard cuz holy nuts that man

[destielreboot]

Something Worth Celebrating

Summary: Dean’s tired of Cas not understanding his not-so-subtle hints that he’s in love with him, so panics his way through using a movie to make his point clear, as if that makes any more sense.

Words: ~3.8k

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Dean never really celebrated his birthday, not in any way that mattered. It was a date that marked him maybe surviving another year, and he figured it couldn’t be all that accurate a marker anymore given that he’d died so many times. Was he supposed to subtract the four months in Hell? Was his birthday now after Sam’s? None of it mattered much, and he was not about to accidentally jinx himself or something by celebrating an arbitrary day. Instead, he grumbled all the way home about the snow and salted roads being bad for Baby, then immediately went to his room and started flipping through his movie collection with the hope a new case wouldn’t come in for at least a few hours.

“Dean?” Cas knocked once and swung the door halfway open. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to find something to watch. I figure I deserve a bit of R&R after the week we’ve had.”

“Of course. Ghouls are never particularly pleasant, although the hunt went well, all things considered.”

“Hell of a lot better than the last one. You stickin’ around for a while?”

“I have no plans to leave.”

Dean looked back down at the drawer full of DVDs and smiled softly. “Good. It’s nice to have you here.”

“Dean? Can I… watch the movie with you?”

“Uh, yeah, as you wish.”

Dean’s hands shook slightly as he picked up a DVD case. It was dumb—so recklessly stupid—and if it didn’t work out, he’d have to live with that, but Cas hadn’t said a word about the mixtape. Not a damn thing about something he’d spent hours anxiously perfecting. Odds were good this would go over his head as well, but hey, at least they were spending time together. And not even Cas would leave during a movie unless there was an emergency, right?

“What are we watching?” Cas timidly sat on the edge of Dean’s bed, the usual comfort level gone as this was Dean’s space, and Cas had become nothing if not respectful of that boundary.

“A classic from my childhood.”

“It’s designed for children?” Cas narrowed his eyes and frowned.

“No, it’s—it’s about… pirates and thieves, sacrifice, rewriting destiny—” The words slipped out of their own volition, as they weren’t quite true, but then again, Dean wasn’t solely focused on the plot of the film. “Um, it’s about overcoming evil forces, fighting for those you care about, and outsmarting the enemy.”

“No cowboys?”

“No cowboys,” Dean chuckled as he put The Princess Bride into the DVD player. He plopped down onto the bed and kicked his feet up, instinctively patting the place next to him so Cas wouldn’t stay perched on the edge. “Settle in, I think you’re gonna like this one.”

Cas inched closer, far too conscious of Dean’s repeated complaints about lack of personal space to get close, but he let himself relax slightly as the movie started.

“This time period is inconsistent with most pirate-centric media. Dean, what does this ill child have to do with the plot you described?”

“Shh, just watch.”

Cas begrudgingly obliged, although biting his tongue was never his strong suit. He’d joined Dean for enough movie nights to know his questions would not be answered, and silence was the preferred initial viewing state—aside from laughter, that is; the uproarious joy that bellowed from his best friend never failed to elicit a smile from the angel.

The first few times he heard Westley say “As you wish” seemed inconsequential, as Dean had been incessantly quoting movies at him for years, and it wasn’t difficult to see why he would relate to this roguish character. He was vaguely aware of Dean glancing back and forth between him and the screen, no doubt to make sure he was paying attention, a task that would be much easier if he didn’t feel Dean’s eyes on him quite so often.

For the most part, Cas did well at keeping quiet, though certain absurdities in the movie had him itching to ask questions.

“What is the point of her throwing herself down this hill? I understand that it’s too steep for comfortable walking, but there has to be a more convenient way to reach the bottom.”

“I guess it’s supposed to be sort of romantic?” Dean shrugged. “She’s just been reunited with Westley after believing he’d died; she doesn’t want to waste time getting to him.”

“Hmm.” Cas looked pensively at Dean for a moment, then turned back to the tv with a hint of a smile.

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while,” Westley declared.

“Do you believe in the existence of true love, Dean?” Cas asked innocently.

“I—uh—um—I’m gonna go grab a drink,” Dean stammered. He did his best to nonchalantly leave the room, an action made far more difficult by his pounding heart. Once safely in the hallway, his pace quickened dramatically. If he was going to have a panic attack, it’d be away from prying eyes. Jack may have been at Jody and Donna’s, but Sam was home—he couldn’t see him like this. Diverting his path, he headed for the Dean Cave instead and sunk into one of the recliners.

He knew it was stupid to be panicking over something so small, but this was the closest he’d ever come to outright stating how he felt, and it was scary, goddammit. Growing up, he would’ve been beaten for even entertaining the idea—John didn’t raise no goddamn fruit—and that intense unease had settled itself into his very being, become a core tenet of his identity. Undoing several decades of damage was more difficult than he’d ever imagined, but fucking hell, he wanted to try.

It took longer than he’d hoped for his breathing to return to normal, which amped up the fear that Cas would come looking for him, and he realized on his way to the kitchen that he’d probably need an excuse. He grabbed a couple beers out of the fridge—maybe Cas would drink one, maybe Dean would end up chugging both—and turned to go back before thinking better of it. He pulled some popcorn out of the pantry and tossed it in the microwave, hoping Cas wouldn’t know how quickly it cooked. Once it was done, Dean took a few deep breaths to steady himself, dumped the popcorn into a bowl, and walked as calmly as possible back to his room.

Coming back with a snack seemed to somewhat assuage Cas’s concern for Dean having been gone so long, but Dean could tell he would be asked about it later.

“You missed the Fire Swamp and something called the Pit of Despair? I can’t find much validity in the mechanics of the machine, although the concept is interesting. Taking time off the end of life, which is by its very nature uncertain, rather than reducing to a set number of years.”

“Try not to think about it too hard.” Dean smirked, holding out the second beer as he settled in. Cas habitually accepted the offer, even though everything tasted like molecules. He didn’t mind too much; partaking always seemed to make Dean happy, a sight Cas didn’t see nearly enough.

“I agree with the pestering child on this one, killing off the hero of the story this early makes no sense. Unless, of course, they live in a world like ours? Is there someone who can return his soul to his physical form, as I did with you?”

Dean choked on the handful of popcorn he’d just stuffed in his mouth. Cas looked on, worried, as Dean coughed and took a swig of his beer.

“Uh, no, nothing like that… They’ll, uh, they’ll explain it.”

“Hmm. Are you alright, Dean? You seem… preoccupied.”

“What? I’m fine.” He picked up the bowl and held it out. “Popcorn?”

“Dean.” Cas took it from him and set it further down the bed as he pivoted to face Dean, sliding a bent leg across the blanket between them.

Dean made a show of rolling his eyes. “I said I’m fine, Cas. You’re missing Billy Crystal.”

“We could pause the movie, if you’d like. Ordinarily I wouldn’t push—”

Dean snorted. “Yeah, sure. Can we just… not do this right now?” He raised his hands in resignation and let them drop without looking, one landing on the outside of his left thigh, the other on Cas’s knee.

Dean immediately felt heat rush to his cheeks as they stared at each other, unmoving, for an undetermined amount of time. He was vaguely aware of the Miracle Max scene happening in the background, containing yet another discussion of true love, and he prayed Cas wasn’t paying attention. This had to happen now?

“Dean?” Cas asked softly, finally breaking the silence enveloping them despite the continuing movie, which was obviously oblivious to the quiet scene of bi panic unfolding in front of the screen. “You seem uncomfortable and in distress. Can I—”

“I’m fine!” Dean responded a little too loudly, too quickly. He jerked his hand back, unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fist, his thumb rubbing over his fingertips, as if trying to force the feeling of touching Cas’s knee into his memory.

Cas continued to fix him with that concerned gaze he was all too familiar with, so he downed the rest of his beer as a distraction. Out of the corner of his eye, he swore he saw Cas run his own fingers over his leg exactly where Dean’s hand had been, but surely it was out of discomfort, right? Friendly pats on the back and occasionally the knee were common enough, but accidental lingering touches? Not so much.

“I need a refill. You?” Dean asked, although he didn’t wait for an answer, once again quickly making his way down the hall.

“Dude, are you okay?”

Dean just about dropped his empty bottle, having not noticed Sam seated at the kitchen table with some sort of preposterously healthy grain bowl in front of him.

“Will everyone stop asking me that?” he huffed, his free hand on his chest. “I’m fine.” He set the bottle on the island and pulled the fridge open. They were down to their last few beers, and, simultaneously thinking too much and not enough, Dean turned around to search for something stronger instead.

“Don’t bullshit me.” Sam gave Dean his best bitch face—probably the best he’d seen in years—and stood, crossing his arms. “Is this about what happened with the ghoul? Because there’s no way we could’ve—”

“Yep, that’s it. Congrats, Dr. Phil, you’ve done whatever psych crap and managed to cure me. How on earth do you do it?”

“Dean.” Sam followed him out of the kitchen and back toward the library, where they’d most recently stashed their rolling booze cart—yet another feature of the bunker Dean still couldn’t quite wrap his head around, although he had to admit it was rather nice.

“Don’t ‘Dean’ me, I’m fine. It’s been a long week, cut me some slack.” He unscrewed the top of the whiskey bottle and poured a generous amount into a glass. Sam shot him another exasperated look. Dean sarcastically saluted as he backed out of the library.

He stopped just outside his door and took a quiet breath, releasing slowly, urging the tension in his chest out with it. He glanced in and couldn’t help but soften at the view in front of him: Cas was engrossed in the wedding scene, albeit a bit confused by the clergyman. Dean watched him take a drink of his beer and wince, an instinct he almost always suppressed around others.

Once Inigo, Fezzik, and Westley were back on screen, Dean sauntered back in. Cas immediately turned and smiled at him, but his brow furrowed at the sight of the whiskey glass. Dean shrugged and took a sip, savoring the slight burn and the slow spreading warmth. He flashed Cas a reassuring grin as he sat down on his side of the bed.

Everything was fine, it had to be. Besides, Cas had definitely missed some important dialogue, so all Dean had to do was get through the end of the movie and shrug all his anxious behavior off as lingering effects of the hunt; there was a good chance Cas wouldn’t believe him, but if he got adamant enough, he’d be left alone. Not that alone was what he really wanted, but it was better than rejected or ridiculed, and he was far too accustomed to being by himself—yet another thing to thank his father for.

They got through the rest of the movie without another incident, even if the silence was a tad tense. As the credits rolled, Dean glanced over and noticed Cas was frowning.

“So… uh, did you… did you like the movie?”

“I still have many questions that have gone unanswered. Or, rather, we were otherwise occupied while they were explained, I suppose.”

“We did, uh, miss a few things.”

“Also, I’m no expert on the matter, but I’m old enough to know with relative certainty that there have been kisses more ‘passionate and pure’ than that one. I assume this particular kiss isn’t leading to the consummation of their relationship, as carnal desire would prevent it from being pure, I suppose, but I’m afraid I cannot agree with the story’s assessment.”

“The slow-burn romance wasn’t drawn out enough for you, huh?” Dean laughed.

“She only believed him dead twice, Dean. I think our own experiences have reduced the impact of that. Besides, their relationship required more exposition. With what we were given, you can’t expect me to be truly invested.”

“Maybe she should’ve died at least once, just to shake it up a bit.”

“My sentiments exactly. Westley cannot understand the same levels of grief without experiencing it firsthand, and it’s always more interesting to allow characters beyond just the hero the chance to die. Imagine how monotonous our lives would be if we only consistently lost one of us.”

Dean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, a goofy smile plastered on his face. His shoulders shook as he laughed, the bed eventually shuddering along with the movement.

“I don’t understand what’s so funny, Dean.”

“It’s just… Our lives are so ridiculous. No one else watches this and thinks it’s not realistic enough because only Westley dies and gets resurrected.”

“I’m aware it’s outside of the usual human experience, of course, but I also can’t help but—” He paused, eyes widening slightly. “Never mind.”

“C’mon, Cas, you know you can’t do that! Say it.”

“I’d really prefer keeping it to myself, thank you.”

“Cas, dude, just say it.”

“You won’t let this go, will you?”

“You know I won’t.” Dean smirked.

“Fine,” Cas sighed. “I can’t help but see similarities between the characters and, well, our family.”

“Oh, of course, I project us onto characters all the time! I’m Westley, right?”

“Buttercup, actually.”

“I—” The smile slipped from Dean’s face. “You see me as the princess? Why?”

“You’re both stubborn and remarkably willing to sacrifice yourself for those you love.”

“You know, I did not show you this movie just so you could turn around and attack me,” Dean grumbled, but he flashed Cas a small smile so he wouldn’t take the complaint too seriously.

“I feel it’s a proper evaluation of your character.” Cas shrugged and grinned back.

“Does that make you Westley, then?”

It took Dean approximately two seconds after the words left his mouth to process what he’d said, fear twisting his stomach into knots as he realized the implications of it. Cas, on the other hand, chuckled quietly and looked down at his beer bottle.

“I suppose Westley saving Buttercup from the quicksand does mirror me pulling you out of Hell, at least a bit.”

“Lightning sand. Way cooler than quicksand,” Dean corrected, latching on to anything that would distract from his question.

“Ah, yes. Lightning sand. It’s no match for Hell, but I don’t need to tell you that.”

“Yeah… Hey, I don’t think I’m ready to turn in for the night yet, would you want to watch something else? You can pick, if you’d like.”

“As you wish.”

Dean froze, his hand halfway to his whiskey glass, the gears in his head screaming into motion. It wasn’t every day that Cas made a movie reference, especially one with such a blatantly romantic connotation. He was well aware of his own intention in saying it before the movie, but was Cas just emulating him? Picking up on yet another of his habits? Or— No, no. Dean had to remind himself that Cas wasn’t human, that he couldn’t experience affection the same way, that everything else had completely escaped his understanding.

He figured he’d put his foot in his mouth enough times that evening, he should just change his mind about stretching this out any longer, just go to bed. But the thought gnawed at him, the silence had continued to the point of becoming awkward, he needed to say something.

Dean turned to face Cas and swallowed down his pride and insecurities, hope and fear clashing across his features. Cas was waiting patiently with a soft smile, his bright eyes crinkling beautifully.

“Did you just—” Dean whispered, his voice getting caught in his throat.

“I believe so. Did I use the line incorrectly?”

“No—I… I just never thought—”

“That’s fine, too,” Cas quickly cut him off, his shoulders sagging slightly.

“Cas.” Dean reached out and tentatively brushed his fingers lightly across the angel’s stubbled cheek before settling on his shoulder, thumb resting softy on the side of his neck. “Why do you think I said it?”

It was as if someone had just powered Cas back up, he so nearly glowed with joy, and Dean thought to himself that this was the most angelic he’d ever looked. Messy hair, glassy-eyed, and all, he was stunning.

Dean felt the knots in his stomach unravel, the weight he’d been carrying for so long lessened. The hesitation of entering unknown territory faded as it started to sink in that Cas wanted this, too, and he stopped thinking, painfully aware that if he thought about it too much, he’d never do it. And he so desperately needed to do this.

He leaned forward, making his intent clear while also looking for consent, and Cas eagerly met him in the middle. It wasn’t the most graceful kiss, as they were both a little out of practice and had yet to learn each other’s rhythms, but Dean was looking forward to learning.

Cas rested his forehead against Dean’s and sighed contentedly.

“With a little more practice, I think we could top Buttercup and Westley’s kiss.”

“I’d like that,” Cas laughed, his warm breath tickling Dean’s nose.

“Their slow-burn seems almost boring next to ours.”

“Oh, speaking of…” Cas straightened up suddenly, causing Dean to have to catch himself before he fell face-first into the angel’s shoulder.

“Speaking of?”

“I missed how they brought Westley back,” Cas said sheepishly. “Would you mind explaining?”

“A little distracted, were you?” Dean smiled cheekily and leaned in for another kiss, something he could never imagine getting tired of doing.

“More than a little.”

Dean launched into a detailed explanation of the Miracle Max scene, the chocolate-coated miracle pill, and the plan to break into the castle before the wedding, going so far as to include all the dialogue he could remember off the top of his head. Cas tilted his head to rest on Dean’s shoulder and laughed at the exaggerated voices, each distinct and absurd in their own way. When the story was over, they slipped into a comfortable silence, Dean’s arm snaked around Cas’s waist, personal space no longer a concern.

After some time, Cas glanced at the clock on the nightstand and was startled to find it was nearly midnight.

“Oh, before it gets too late…” He lifted his head and placed a hand gently on Dean’s cheek. “Happy birthday, Dean. I would’ve gotten you a gift—”

“There’s nothing I want more than this.”

…

The following morning, Dean woke up early and decided to make breakfast, tossing some slabs of bacon on a baking sheet to crisp up in the oven. Sam stumbled in a few minutes later, drawn in by the aroma. He gave Dean a questioning look and was met with a broad grin.

“Rise and shine, Sammy! Are you going to eat like a normal person, or do I have to separate your eggs for you?”

“I… uh, just the whites would be great, thanks.”

“Normal person breakfast, it is!”

Sam rolled his eyes as he turned on the coffeemaker, but he smiled quietly to himself, glad to see Dean had gotten over whatever had been bothering him the night before.

Cas wandered in as Dean pulled the bacon out of the oven, and Sam just about choked on his coffee; instead of his usual trench coat and suit, Cas was wearing a soft purple and blue flannel he’d most definitely pulled from Dean’s closet, and he’d neglected to button nearly the entire top half.

“Mornin’, sunshine!” Dean slapped his hand away from the hot tray and passed him a mug of coffee instead. “You lookin’ to burn yourself?”

“I’m an angel, you ass,” Cas chuckled, stepping around him to reach the bacon. “I can do what I want.”

“You can’t even taste it properly.”

“Dean, too much grease is bad for your health,” Cas deadpanned as he took a bite of the still steaming rasher. It was hotter than he’d anticipated, but nothing a little grace couldn’t fix.

Sam cleared his throat loudly and gestured at the stovetop, where the eggs were burning.

“Fuck!”

“Good morning, Sam.” Cas took a sip of his coffee as he walked toward the table. “How was your night?”

“Evidently not as good as yours.” Sam looked up at him in stunned disbelief. “You two finally figure your shit out?”

“Hell of a way to phrase it, but yeah.” Dean beamed as he set the plate of bacon on the table, his other arm slung around Cas’s shoulder. “This idiot’s in love with me. Who knew?”

“Practically everyone else,” Sam laughed. “But I’m really happy for you guys, I don’t know anyone more deserving of this. One request, though, seeing as Jack and I live here, too.”

“Shoot.”

“Minimal PDA in communal spaces?”

“No deal.” Dean grinned and promptly pulled Cas in for a kiss.

[parf-fan]

Ask and ye shall fucking receive, bitches!!!

Oh yeah, that’s right, the cast lists have been posted!  Moreover, posted IN FULL!  Actors, character names, character professions, and chARACTER DESCRIPTIONS HOLY SHIT!!!!1!!

Once again, I have done my best to sort the Bacchanalians by track.  It was much more challenging than last year (and took a good deal longer), where I only mixed up two.  The music track is easy, of course, but combat and improv are another matter.  In the end, I simply could not decide for a fair number, and these are listed in a separate section.

A small note, I had to copyedit the FUCK out of these descriptions.  Man, I dunno, I think their apostrophe key was maybe busted? and there were loads of misspellings, a few missing spaces, and occasionally just the wrong word entirely.  If anyone with any sort of influence on the Faire’s website happens to see this, PLEASE go back and fix these errors.

As always, check the Faire’s website for headshots.  And also for the scenario, I guess, because I just realized I never got around to making a post about that.

Leads

Mary Huff :  Queen Elizabeth I – Queen of England

Young and full of hope for the future of her country, Queen Elizabeth I is eager to take part in the day’s festivities and to learn more about the people she is meant to rule. Though she is youthful in appearance, she should not be underestimated. Queen Elizabeth I is intelligent, quick-witted and does not suffer fools lightly.

Joshua Kachnycz :  Robert Dudley – Master of Horse

Wealthy and benevolent, this Englishman seeks to ensure everything is perfect for the Queen’s coronation day. Though he is a strong, independently wealthy, and capable man, he is not afraid to listen to and heed a woman’s opinion, which quickly makes him one of Queen Elizabeth I most trusted advisors and friends.  [Listen I am so glad this man is returning, he is such a joy to watch act.]  [Zis is pleasink to me!]

Alex Stompoly :  Henry Carry – Nobleman

Cousin to Elizabeth I, Henry Carey has a claim to the English throne and is not likely to let you forget it. While he ultimately wants what is best for the country, he doesn't always have the hearts of the ordinary citizens he represents at the forefront of his political strategy. It may take him a while to believe that such a young Queen can be a strong leader.  [OH FUCK YEAH ALEX IS THE VILLAIN THIS IS EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED]

Combat

Sunny Vinsavich :  Bev Tanningrove – Tanningrove Family Muscle

When carousing with friends, she is playful and carefree; but this cousin to Jack Tanningrove is quick to anger if she suspects you of disrespecting the Tanningrove name. Bold and hot-blooded, it doesn't take much to convince her to enter into a brawl to defend her house.

Emily Wirthwein :  Sylvia Forel – Sword Mistress

As lethal as she is lovely, this German Master Swordswoman is renowned throughout Europe. If you are lucky enough to have her in your employ, you can expect her complete loyalty and services as a sellsword – as long as you aren't outbid by a wealthier party.  [Oh good, the German mercenaries are back.]

Mel Angelo :  Mary McBride – Dance Mistress of the Shire

Best friend to Rose Hopfield, this dancing mistress makes a loyal, dependable, and energetic companion. Shire folk beware: don't call her a coward or insult the Hopfields, else you might find yourself face to face with the pointy end of her sword.

Ilana Lo :  Fan Liu – Pirate

Running away from home at the age of thirteen, Fan Liu spent her formative years as a member of pirate crews in many different countries. Because of these varied experiences and her own innate charm, Fan Liu is a brilliant negotiator, easily able to talk people into doing just about anything she asks. And if they make the mistake of not doing as she asks, they will soon face her steel.

Leigh Loureiro :  Bonnie Buchanna – Pirate

A formidable opponent who can fight, curse, and drink just as well if not better than her male counterparts. Nicknamed ‘Bloody Bonnie’ for her reputation of leaving no survivors, many would be surprised to learn that she secretly has a soft spot for soft and cuddly critters. But,please, don't tell her we told you!

Amanda Darrigo :  Mistress Quickley – Tavern Keeper

Thrilled at finally fulfilling her dream of opening her own tavern, this little lady isn’t shy about inviting people in or delegating responsibilities to her subordinates. In fact, she loves being a boss so much she might try to hire you to manage the day-to-day operations so she can focus on big-picture items: like how to spend her hard earned ducats.

Sean Besecker :  Captain James Thatch – Captain of The Queen's Vengeance

Thatch grew up on pirate ships watching and learning from the best sea-robbers in the business, so it is no surprise that he is one of the most ruthless and cutthroat pirates to sail the seven seas. While polite society would consider him uncivilized, he does live his life adhering closely to a very important set of rules: the Piratical Code.  [pyrate ship count: 1]

Matthew Glen Clark :  Bartholomew Wainwright – Yeoman

Dark and brooding, the mysterious Bartholomew Wainwright is often mistaken as cynical when a better term for him would be logical. He makes decisions using his brain and not his heard – the same cannot be said for some of his fellow Yeoman.

Austin James :  Edward Mawson – First Mate

With knowledge of the civilized world, Edward Mawson, sometimes referred to as Maw, is the perfect First Mate to his unruly Captain. He is easily able to represent the Captain at important affairs and likes to mingle with the upper crust of society. In fact, he likes it so much that he dreams of bettering his own position so that he might one day join them.

Music

The Sirens

Sarah Bartley :  Captain Sheena Daley O'Connell – Captain of The Unyeilding Tempest

The Leader. She is bold, brave, fearless and knows the world of piracy like the back of her well-worn hands. Sheena actively attempts to keep the peace in ORC but enjoys looting and pillaging as much as her fellow captains. Her deeds are heroic, but often tall in nature! Ask her to tell you all about when she saved her entire crew with a single plank of wood. She will regale you.  [pyrate ship count: 2]

Leigh Anne Hamlin :  Captain Scarlett Seymour – Captain of The Shadow of Prophecy

The Joker. She is laid back, extremely confident but relentlessly lazy. Scarlett always cracks jokes and makes light of difficult situations. She has been a pirate all her life and she is damn good at it! She is fond of long naps, drinking and gambling. Whats her secret? Good luck and tons of it!  [Four things.  First, pyrate ship count: 3.  Second, presuming she named he ship herself, I guarantee that this character is queer, because that’s the most Extra ship name ever, and only us queer folk are that overdramatic.  Three, prophesy? seymour? see-more? r u kidding me?  Four: if you go look at her headshot, this actor bears an uncanny resemblance to Vanessa Sterling.]

Megan Jones :  Captain Ruth "The Blade" Gibson – Captain of The Jolly Walrus

The Wild Card. She is tough, blunt, and has a wee bit of a rage problem. Although she loves piracy and has the scars to prove it, she melts at the sight of children and cuddly animals, who have the ability to soften her strong demeanor. Do not dare question her about the name of her ship! Shes sensitive about it.  [Oh hell yeah, Megan Jones is a pyrate! I am very pleased about this.  Also, pyrate ship count: 4.]

Sarah Williams :  Captain Elanor Keetly – Captain of The Malevolence

The newly appointed Captain of The Malevolence. The innocent. She has inherited her newfound position of Captain after all the members of her crew mysteriously perished in a tragic maritime accident. She has a thirst for knowledge and craves to be the very best in her new career! Elanor is extremely enthusiastic, but a bit frightened of the weight of her new position. She has a malicious alter ego named Cookie.  [Well, that certainly took at turn at the last line!  Pyrate ship count: 5, and whomever named this vessel was definitely queer, too.]

The Irish Revels

Autumn Sheffy :  Siobhán O'Sullivan – Royal Music Tutor

Having left the rest of her family behind to seek her fortune, this maestro has ascended to the ranks of the English court! Surely she wouldn't lord this success over the rest of her siblings...

Jordan Bell :  Gilda O'Sullivan – Musician

Gilda is an optimistic and charismatic leader. She hasn't the time for negativity or ill will amongst her siblings, so she simply pushes through it with a bright smile. She is a perfectionist and an overachiever. She adores music and her siblings, despite their failings, and will do anything to make sure the festival day goes off without a hitch. She has the color-coded scrolls to prove it! because what are we, animals?

Morgan Harwood :  Alannah O'Sullivan – Musician

Alannah is kind, carefree, and a bit odd. She is the youngest of the quintuplets and the most connected to the universe. She has the ability to see magic creatures and is often overtaken by her imagination. Her magic touch can calm her siblings when the time arises. The music she performs grounds her back in reality. She doesn’t walk, she floats.  [Whelp, this character obviously has a connection to the fae, so she’s definitely Autistic.]

Jared Haverdink :  Keagan O'Sullivan – Musician

Keagan is a realist, has an excellent sense of humor, and is endlessly sarcastic. He has a bit of the ol’ Irish temper that is easily set off by small things. The most talented musically of the O’Sullivan siblings, he was always very skilled, but has recently improved dramatically, almost overnight. His siblings are suspicious he has made a deal with a sea witch for his newfound shredding skills.  [I’m so glad that last sentence exists.]

Joey Mudd :  Deklyn O'Sullivan – Musician

Deklyn, like his sister Gilda, is a very friendly and charismatic young musician. He is full of life, energy, joy and is extremely earnest. However, he does tend to worry, and his imagination takes hold, extrapolating the smallest misstep that could lead to the doom of his family. Frequently stares into the middle distance, right between the crucial and the trivial, between existential dread and I’ll take the dressing on the side.  [The Millennial™]

The Rakish Rogues

Christopher Burch :  Sterling Armstrong – Highwayman, Leader of Group

The leader of this merry band of misfits. He is bold, ambitious, but a tad arrogant. Sterling fancies himself as a ladies’ man, but when approached by a woman, he can’t always follow through. His leadership style is that of blind intuition. His British dialect is very put-on and manly, but he often slips into Cockney, his real voice, when angered. Sterling doesn't walk, he glides. Is that his real name or did he make it up?  [FUCK YEAH THEY DID THE THING THEY PUT HIM ON THE MUSIC TRACK YESSSSSS!]

Chase Brackett :  Tucker Abbot – Highwayman, Sterling's Protégé

A former homeless orphan who was adopted by Sterling Armstrong as his younger brother and protégé . He absolutely worships the ground his brother walks on. Tucker is very bright, optimistic, and somewhat naïve. He is completely unaware when he says filthy and inappropriate things. Sterling said it so it must be fine! He loves the life of crime, but mostly he just wants to find a beautiful lady and sing songs to her pretty face forever.  [This character description has newsie energy.]

Pete Hedberg :  Jeremiah Slight – Highwayman, Sterling's Right-Hand Man

He is the muscle of the group, but secretly the brains. Jeremiah is the only person keeping this group afloat, but he would rather stick to the shadows than be in the limelight. He is excellent at thievery and a master of disguise. If you get close enough to find out how many accents he can do, you may not live to tell the tale!  [*laughs in a decade of faire accents*]  [also slight is the right hand man? slight of hand? fuck you.]

Ian Agnew :  William "Bill" Crimson – Highwayman, former Benadictine Monk

A former Benedictine monk who was living a pious life in an abbey. He one day was hit in the head with a bible, decided to leave the cloth and turn to a more exciting life of crime. He adores his new lifestyle and lives it with absolutely no restraint or regret. Bill has a newfound love of drinking, women, and gambling. He may have a few loose screws, but he’s never been happier.  [So there’s a good bit to unpack there.  Kind of like a reverse Cadfael.]

Improv

Sheila Barton :  Lady Delores Anne Penburthy – Lady Mayor of Mount Hope

Effervescent and vivacious, the Lady Mayor is sure to give Queen Elizabeth I the warm and generous welcome deserving a ruler of England. Having earned the love of the townspeople, the Lady Mayor could teach the young Queen a thing or two about earning the trust and loyalty of her people.

Adam Shepley :  William Cecil – Advisor to the Queen

Her Majesty’s most stalwart advisor, and head of her privy council. Usually the smartest man in the room, and well aware of it, Cecil knows Elizabeth will be a good queen. Honestly after her sister Mary, things can only go up.

Joe Penn :  Jacob Perry – Sheriff of Mount Hope

He loves putting away bad guys and solving mysteries. The only mystery he cant solve: how to grow up.  [Oh. Hell. Yeah.]

Jonathan Handley :  Sir William Pickering – Nobleman

Well educated, well bred, well connected. William Pickering has studied at the best schools, spent time among the French court, and is a good friend of Queen Elizabeth; but surely he would never let those things go to his head. He is still a man of the people, with his finger on the gilded pulse of the court.

Rob Condas :  William Shakespeare – Apprentice Glover

Everyone needs gloves, and serving all levels of society has made young Bill a keen observer of the human condition. He has heard many stories, and feels that he has many stories to tell. He’d like to try his hand at playwrighting – maybe he can wrangle up some actors to try out a new play or two.  [This is absolutely genius, because if we remain in the same universe for a couple years, we’ll get to see his transition to fully-fledged playwright!]

Adam Kampouris :  Christopher "Kit" Marlowe – Playwright

Full of charm and swagger, this playwright can woo a hundred paramours without running out of pickup lines; finish several thousand tankards of ale without retiring for bed; and accomplish almost any task without exerting too much effort; but he cannot seem to finish a play. He is hoping Mount Hope Shire will provide him the inspiration he needs to pen his next masterpiece.

Kelsey Jefferies :  Gretchen Froman – Heir to the Sausage Throne

Her parents have newly acquired a fortune from their successful Sausage empire, and they like to flaunt it! Fortunately for them, their daughter is responsible enough for both of them and makes sure they don’t blow it all in a single shopping trip. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t enjoy some of the perks – just that she is the only one of the three with some class about it.  [For context, see the Blackfryars’ descriptions.]

Noelani Stevenson :  Eskarina Nutter – Wise Woman

This cunning woman knows that there are things in this world that cannot be explained, and their solutions must be equally inexplicable. A mistress of folk medicine, herbal lore, and charms, she will heal you up quick or dispel the evil eye. Just remember that what she can cure, she can just as easily give back if you cross her.  [hell yeah my pagan girl!  Also if you look at her headshot, her design is literally Sabrina but a little paler and with blond hair, which is most amusing to me.]   [but like,,, why is her last name nutter.]

Kira Gaudynski :  Stella Hopfield – Bottler

Wife of John Hopfield. Though her title is Bottler, she does so much more – marketing, distribution, HR, pretty much everything that isn’t the actual brewing of the beer...and girl, is she good at it! She thrives under pressure, and fortunately for her, there is always pressure abounding.

Ryan Perry :  John Hopfield – Brew Master

Patriarch of the Hopfield family. His brews are best. His ales are awesome. His stouts are stellar. His lagers are...really good too. Hes proud of the name he has made for his family, and knows that beer is the true heart of Mount Hope.

Katelyn Shreiner :  Sherry Tanningrove – Mistress of the Cellars

Sister of Horice Tanningrove and his partner in the winery. Her mind is like the aging process of wine: calculating, patient, and meticulous. She has an eye for detail and rarely jumps to conclusions. She knows that trends come and go, but wine will be forever.

Michael Stahler :  Horace Tanningrove – Vinter

Patriarch of the Tanningrove Family. Wine is what put the shire of Mount Hope on the map, and Horace is proud of that family tradition. He knows Queen Elizabeth will have a more refined palate than her late father and sister, and will help bring Mount Hope’s wines back to the top no matter what those uppity Hopfields say.  [yeah okay so there’s definitely a family rivalry here]

Alright, You Stumped Me

Katie Burch :  Theresa Ratchet – Rat Catcher

Sickness has begun blanketing the world. Some people blame it on bad smells, some people believe it to be God’s wrath due to the sinful ways of today’s culture. Theresa, however, believes it to be because of the rats. She can’t prove it, and no one else believes her, but she will do whatever it takes to rid Mount Hope of these verminous infestations and save the populous in the process.  [Heck yeah, my science-based girl, go get it!]

George Hamilton :  Douglas Johnson – Master Thief

He’s been arrested so many times by Sheriff Perry, they know practically everything about each other. One might even suspect they’ve become friends, but Douglas Johnson would never take advantage of his friendship....in any way that would be obvious to Sheriff Jacob.  [I’m always a slut for this sort of dynamic!]

Shannon Holder :  Rose Hopfield – Brew Master's Daughter

Impulsive, independent, and passionate, this young woman is exploring the world on her own and beginning to see things in a new light, not solely from the perspective of her brewmaster father. By the end of the festival day, she may even sip her first glass of wine!

Jesse Kortus :  Jack Tanningrove – Vinter's Son

Idealistic, intelligent, and inquisitive, this young man is coming into his own and beginning to question the things he has grown up with as facts. For example: contrary to his father’s opinion, there seem to be a great deal of people upon the shire who prefer beer to wine. He intends to spend the day finding out just why that is.  [....oh great we’re gonna have friggin’ het star-crossed lovers up in here, aren’t we.]

John Surgener :  Charles Kent – Yeoman

Fiercely loyal to the Queen, Charles Kent is every bit the ideal hero. With a strong moral compass and an idyllic spirit, Kent is fast, powerful, and has quickly leapt to the top of the list of the Queens favorite Yeomen.

Haley Ward :  Amy Cooper – Cooper

Who would have thought a business person could suffer from TOO MUCH demand? With the ongoing conflict between the Tanningroves and the Hopfields, Amy has been profiting, but at the cost of much sleep. Maybe today she’ll finally be able to enjoy a day off.  [*sleep-deprived fistbump*]

My Reasoning

A section I include purely because I don’t like feeling stupid: therefore when I’m wrong, I prefer people to at least see the logic I followed to arrive at my conclusion.

Leads

Robert Dudley and Henry Carry are both mentioned by name in the scenario, so they’re obviously leads, and Queen Elizabeth is sort of, well, Queen Elizabeth.

Combat

Bev Tanningrove – Tanningrove Family Muscle: character description puts her pretty firmly in the combat territory; Sunny Vinsavich’s resume backs this up with necessary training/abilities.

Sylvia Forel – Sword Mistress: character description puts her pretty firmly in the combat territory; Emily Wirthwein’s resume backs this up with necessary training/abilities.

Mary McBride – Dance Mistress of the Shire: character description puts her pretty firmly in the combat territory; Mel Angelo’s resume seems to back this up with necessary training/abilities.

Fan Liu – Pirate: character description indicates combat as a definite possibility; Ilana Lo‘s resume backs this up with SO MUCH necessary training/abilities; character seems to fit better into the pattern of the combat track than the pattern of the improv track.

Bonnie Buchanna – Pirate: character description indicates combat as a definite possibility; Leigh Loureiro‘s resume indicates potential necessary physicality; character seems to fit better into the pattern of the combat track than the pattern of the improv track

Mistress Quickley – Tavern Keeper: can’t freaking find a resume for Amanda Darrigo, but in my PARF experience, tavern-keepers tend to be involved in brawls and melees, thus indicating combat track.

Captain James Thatch – Captain of The Queen's Vengeance: character description indicates combat as a definite option; can’t find a resume for Sean Besecker, but did find a facebook post mentioning his participation in leading a stage-combat workshop alongside Sam Little, thus implying the necessary training/abilities; character seems to fit better into the pattern of the combat track than the pattern of the improv track.

Bartholomew Wainwright – Yeoman: though character description does not necessarily indicate active combat role, one would imagine a yoeman to be involved in combat, and I know past casts have included combat-track yeomen; Matthew Glen Clark‘s resume backs this up with necessary training and physicality.

Edward Mawson – First Mate: character description does not necessarily indicate active combat role, and I was completely unable to find any sort of resume for Austin James, but the character seems to fit into the pattern of the combat track well enough, so it’s my best guess.

Music (hardly challenging, as I mentioned, yet shall display my reasoning anyway)

Captain Sheena Daley O'Connell – Captain of The Unyeilding Tempest: woman pyrate whose character description matches the format of the other Sirens’.

Captain Scarlett Seymour – Captain of The Shadow of Prophecy: woman pyrate whose character description matches the format of the other Sirens’.

Captain Ruth "The Blade" Gibson – Captain of The Jolly Walrus: woman pyrate whose character description matches the format of the other Sirens’, plus we already know Megan Jones is music-track certified, so to speak.

Captain Elanor Keetly – Captain of The Malevolence: woman pyrate whose character description matches the format of the other Sirens’, plus we already know Sarah Williams is both music-track certified and Siren certified.

Siobhán O'Sullivan – Royal Music Tutor: surname matches that of the four Irish characters listed as “musician”.

Gilda O'Sullivan – Musician: surname matches that of the other Irish characters listed as “musician” or similar; Jordan Bell is already both music-track certified and Revel certified.

Alannah O'Sullivan – Musician: surname matches that of the other Irish characters listed as “musician” or similar; Morgan Harwood is already music-track certified.

Keagan O'Sullivan – Musician: surname matches that of the other Irish characters listed as “musician” or similar; Jared Haverdink is already music-track certified.

Deklyn O'Sullivan – Musician: surname matches that of the other Irish characters listed as “musician” or similar.

Sterling Armstrong – Highwayman, Leader of Group: highwayman; we already knew Christoper Burch is music-track capable.

Tucker Abbot – Highwayman, Sterling's Protégé: highwayman; singing is specifically mentioned in description.

Jeremiah Slight – Highwayman, Sterling's Right-Hand Man: highwayman; we already knew Pete Hedberg is very very music-track certified and Rogue certified.

William "Bill" Crimson – Highwayman, former Benadictine Monk: highwayman; we already knew Ian Agnew is both music-track certified and Rogue certified.

Improv

Lady Delores Anne Penburthy – Lady Mayor of Mount Hope: Duh.

William Cecil – Advisor to the Queen: Adam Shepley is historically improv track.

Jacob Perry – Sheriff of Mount Hope: Joe Penn is historically improv track.

Sir William Pickering – Nobleman: Jonathan Handley is historically improv track.

William Shakespeare – Apprentice Glover: character description gives no indication of combat; Rob Condas‘s website extols his improv ability and love of the same.

Christopher "Kit" Marlowe – Playwright: if Shakespeare be improv track, it follows that Marlowe is, too; character description gives no indication of combat.

Gretchen Froman – Heir to the Sausage Throne: one parent is a Blackfryar and the other an improv director, so the statistical likelihood lies with improv;  character description gives no indication of combat.

Eskarina Nutter – Wise Woman: character description gives no indication of combat; it makes more sense for a healer-witch-type character to not be combat-focused anyway (though that would make for a really cool character); I could not find any resume for Noelani Stevenson to verify anything one way or another, but I’m relatively confident in my verdict nonetheless.

Stella Hopfield – Bottler: character description gives no indication of combat; Kira Gaudynski’ resume seems to indicate greater improv strength than combat strength.

John Hopfield – Brew Master: character description gives no indication of combat; if the Hopfield matriarch indeed be on improv, it seems to heighten the likelyhood of the Hopfield patriarch being on the same; could not find Ryan Perry’s resume to check training/abilities one way or another.

Sherry Tanningrove – Mistress of the Cellars: character description gives no indication of combat; Katelyn Shreiner‘s resume seems to indicate stronger improv skills than combat skills; following my previous path of reason, if the head Hopfields be on the improv track, likely the head Tanningroves will, too.

Horace Tanningrove – Vinter: character description gives no indication of combat; Michael Stahler‘s resume seems to indicate average stage-combat abilities; once more following my path of reasoning through to the logical conclusion, this other head Tanningrove will likely be on the improv track.

Alright, you stumped me

Theresa Ratchet – Rat Catcher: while Katie Burch has historically been combat-track, the character description gives no indication of combat; moreover, her participation in Theatre in the Mansion indicates to me that she has the necessary abilities for the improv track; neither her website nor twitter reveals anything one way or another; finally, I have a unproven gut instinct that one is more likely to remain on cast more years running if one switches tracks.  Verdict? could go either way.

Douglas Johnson – Master Thief: George Hamilton has been on both the music track and the combat track (though music is here ruled out), and his participation in Theatre in the Mansion indicates to me that he has the necessary abilities for the improv track; thieves of various sorts are often on the combat track, but it seems his main acting partner this year is on improv; I cannot find a website for further information, and his social media reveals nothing.  Verdict? six of one, half-a-dozen of the other.

Rose Hopfield – Brewmaster's Daughter: character description indicates a divergence from her parents’ worldview, so while I have her parents under improv, it would make some degree of sense for her to be on a different track; only some degree, though, and character description does not indicate combat; Shannon Holder‘s resume seems to indicate possibility in either track.  Verdict? honestly probably improv but there is wiggle-room.

Jack Tanningrove – Vinter's Son: character description indicates a divergence from his parents’ worldview, so while I have his parents under improv, it would make some degree of sense for him to be on a different track; only some degree, though, and character description does not indicate combat; I could not find a resume for Jesse Kortus to check training/abilities either way.  Verdict? yeah prolly improv but who knows.

Charles Kent – Yeoman: though character description does not necessarily indicate active combat role, one would imagine a yoeman to be involved in combat, and I know past casts have included combat-track yeomen; however, John Surgener’s resume seems to me to lean more toward improv than combat, though he has some degree of experience in both.  Verdict? heck if I know.

Amy Cooper – Cooper: character description does not indicate combat; Haley Ward’s resume indicates the necessary training/ability for combat; the character description gives me improv-track vibes somehow.  Verdict? yeah at this point your guess is as good as mine.

Phew!  That’s more than long enough for one day, so the Blackfryars shall get their own post on the morrow (maybe this evening if I’m responsible... haha...).

To the newcomers, welcome!  To those returning, welcome back!

[imnxtsorry]

about & verses (or my hot take on Elizabeth Swann). Read at least the main verse after the about if you skip this part, to know what I’ll write by default.

about my Elizabeth (again, you can skip to the next section)

I write Elizabeth as clever, opinionated, bold (but without being too scandalous unless it’s truly necessary). But I don’t see her as hating everything about her regular life, I see her as wanting adventure, freedom, which women in her world pretty much lack if they aren’t criminals, but also as genuinely wanting to be married as soon as she feels she found the one so she won’t have to compromise her values, and wants to have a ‘safe place to go back to’ whenever her curiosity is sated, which can be one person too; she would find being always at sea a limitation too because she must have choices. She won’t hate all women’s clothes but only the ones that are uncomfortable, won’t hate the social events as much as the formalities and boringness that comes from most of the people invited, and could enjoy them in the right company and forgetting some unnecessary ‘proper’ ways to behave. Will not calling her by name despite having known each other for years ends up insulting her, after all.  She’s ready to do anything to get what she wants, like kissing Jack to distract him when she wants to chain him to his ship or agreeing to a proposal in the heat of the moment, but also as someone with enough heart and ability to feel guilt Elizabeth will try her best to make amends after, even if she doesn’t often apologize nor explains her reasons until cornered. I do believe that for a moment there, when convinced things wouldn’t work with Will, she saw James Norrington as a viable option for a husband even if she didn’t love him, simply because he is a fine man, someone she clearly got along with (once past the awkwardness). He wasn’t fully her type, he was formal, he followed all the rules without complaint, but after all she clearly intended to follow what was expected to her too, even if she wanted more. But at the same time her yes to his proposal, while not given lightly, was not as unconditional as she claimed when first made, it gave him a reason to follow her requests, and after she could turn it unconditional and claim the truth only because she knew the commodore wouldn’t take his word back either.

Basically: she will not compromise her morals (however what’s acceptable to her might not be to others) or take the easy way out, to her it's unthinkable to leave everyone behind and running away if the option to fight and save them exists, but at the same time when it's a lost battle she does expect a brave sacrifice (see Jack and the Kraken) or she will make it happen. Not all that is proper is bad or boring, the problem is the limitations she has to face as a woman, and daughter of a governor at that, and her father never actually discouraged her from following her heart if it wasn't actively hurting her (including pointing out Will as a viable option too). She wants a good man with a rebellious and adventurous streak. She adores her father. She feels good being the pirate king and at ease around pirates, she definitely enjoys learning everything she can, and she’d want to find a way to work and keep herself occupied regardless of how her life goes - as much as possible in her situation, but would not want to be a pirate for love because of all the things that the job entails in reality and her wish to be able to choose what to do and when to be on land. I also see her as having serious communication problems with Will that need to be solved (he didn’t share his worries about her being in love with Jack, she didn’t share what she had done or how she felt, and the first time they addressed it in ended in her leaving the room). Whether I write with a Will rper and they are together or they broke up, that’s something to be solved if we want a ship.

 She’s a mix of traits because her world is too small for her before the first movie, but I also doubt she’d want to live as a pirate for long with everything that it entails in reality. I will come up with more personalized headcanons here.

two (admittedly norribeth) metas have inspired me to explore her character in general, here and here. Not a must read, only if you are curious.

verses - note that I will not impose my headcanons about her relationships with a character on people who play said character, but only allow her to express them with others:

v. free woman. main verse. she and Will break up before the wedding due to their communication problems (and more reasons) and that will cause a certain amount of insecurities and soul-searching. She will fight to free Will just as much and follow the rest of the main plots. Obviously threads will explore the differences from canon, but it wasn’t romance the driving point of the next two movies and we can assume they looked for Davy Jones’ heart, she gave Jack to the Kraken, etc. If you don’t play Will and the thread is set in the second movie, your muse might need to be told they broke up. If you play Will you can ask for v. mrs turner as default. If threads are set after the movies she’s keeping Will’s heart safe regardless of their relationship status and trying to build a new life (maybe away from Port Royal or maybe not, details are thread-dependent) while also dealing with random Pirate King’s duties, very likely having more adventures every now and then with Jack, since with him she won’t have to commit or condone horrors that she would never accept. She’d also get to slowly deal with the constant traumas and losses starting from her father’s death. 

v. mrs turner. for will rpers only: they don’t break up after the first movie, and events can follow the next movies or be completely different in threads. Point is they stick together and navigate this new relationship - which after all is a big change after years of keeping proper distance. 

v. hold on. she doesn’t break up her engagement with James Norrington even if she does help Jack escape his hanging - whether because not in love with Will or because Will never confessed his feelings. In the second movie she’s likely looking for James in Tortuga on top of wanting to free Will, and ends up joining Jack anyway. 

v. follow the compass. threads about random plots like ‘soulmates au’ and the like. The events of the movie can or cannot happen depending on what we’ll decide.

v. fine woman. threads where the movies haven’t happened (or not yet and will happen later than in canon), and Elizabeth is living her life as a lady and growing sadder, longing for more. The stories will start from there. This includes threads with Will or James where their relationship develops in a different way (slightly younger Elizabeth etc.)

v. bring me the horizon. threads where the movies haven’t happened or not yet but one way or another she runs away looking for adventure. May or may not be kidnapped and brought to Tortuga. Her reputation ruined, she has to make a life there. 

v. gilded ship. after the events of the movie, regardless of other differences from canon, she can’t return home because she has been ‘outed’ as pirate in most lands, being the king and all, and has to adapt to a pirate’s life and/or look for other options because she doesn’t want to be trapped that way either. 

v. captain. one way or another, it’s Elizabeth who succeeds Davy Jones. Threads can be set before, maybe during, and of course after, when she comes ‘home’.

[stilljumpingback]

(via Episode 203 - XI)

BLACK SAILS EPISODE 203 - XI REVIEW

WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

Miranda:  In my experience, there is an inverse relationship between the degree of one’s happiness and the concern one suffers for what the neighbors think.

Miranda:  I think you’re someone who’s very good at managing how you’re perceived, and perhaps getting what you want without anyone knowing how you did it, or perhaps if it ever happened at all.  Perhaps– James:  Don’t tell me propriety has worked its evils on you too, now. Miranda:  I was going to say that perhaps you’re more concerned with whether or not people talk about what you and I may be doing behind closed doors more than with what we actually are doing.

Thomas and Miranda offer James a world in which one can take the things that make one happy without worrying if it is the “proper” thing to do.  At that time (and this time, honestly) an open marriage was something to be feared, scorned, or punished.  Yet Miranda knows James well enough to see that he isn’t as interested in social conventions as his naval uprightness implies.  She sees some of the “darkness” and “wildness” that was shown to us in the last episode.  But where those qualities were condemned by Hennessey, Miranda encourages them.  She invites him to leave propriety behind and take what will make him happy.  The fact that we see them so unhappy together in the present day makes us ask all sorts of questions that I cannot wait to see answered.

FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

I’m still in love with Thomas’s confidence that the problem in Nassau is not the pirates but the corrupt governors.  His idealism is so sexy!

James’s realism is also sexy, but that’s because James is still looking so good in these flashbacks.

James:  Put a man on an island, give him power over other men, and it won’t be long before he realizes the limits of that power are nowhere to be seen.

Silver is officially popular!  The scene where Dooley insists that they return to Nassau despite the incredible danger of sailing into harbor in a Spanish ship seems to imply that the democratic pirate government is flawed.  A popular vote, after all, allows dumb men to make potentially devastating decisions.  If their captain were anyone but Flint, I think I’d be suspicious of this.  As it is, I’m all for Flint as Pirate King…it’s a little unnerving how much I’ve drunk from his Koolaid.

Vane’s men need better wigs.

I loved seeing Miranda and Eleanor together!  It must be weird for Eleanor to see evidence of Flint’s domesticity and to hear him called “James.”  She’s SUPER suspicious of the power Miranda seems to hold over Flint, and while that’s warranted, I’m still annoyed at how rude she was at implying Miranda is unremarkable.

Miranda:  Every man has his torments, demons born of past wrongs that hound and harass him.  You perceive the effects of Captain Flint’s demons, echoes of their voices.  But I know their names.  I was there when they were born.  I know the things they whisper to him at night.  So you can believe me when I tell you that within his chorus of torments none of them look or sound like me.

The scene between Max and Vane is beautiful.  Her suppressed fear of him is so sad considering the last night she saw him, he was letting him men abuse and assault her.  Max seems to be implying that it is weak of Vane to want to protect Eleanor from Ned Lowe, but like, Ned is a brutal psychopath?  I don’t think you have to still be hopelessly in love with someone to not want to see them raped and tortured (though…he totally is).  “I found a way to stop caring about her.  Would you like to know how?”  “No.”

Eme and the other former slaves are working and finding places in Nassau!

UM, I too would invite myself into James’s apartment if he answered the door shirtless and with messy hair.  This is a painful scene in some ways, though, as the power dynamic between James and the Hamiltons is driven home.  He is so obviously pained at her attempts to compliment his small and undecorated room.  Later, we see class rearing its head again when he says the Hamiltons are wealthy and secure enough to scorn propriety – James doesn’t have that luxury.

They are SUPER good at flirting.  Wow, their faces!

Fandom seems very married to the idea that Vane is Loyalty Personified, but I don’t really see it.  In this episode, he restores Jack and Anne to influence, abandoning loyalty to the crew they murdered, and NOT because of loyalty to them, but because he got him what he wanted from Max.  Which!  I love!  Because I like my Black Sails characters morally complex.  But why is fandom so determined to see a Vane that I cannot?

As Flint remembers his past with Miranda, it inspires him to make a gesture of reconciliation by bringing La Galatea to her.  But when he arrives at her house and sees her giving piano lessons, it’s clear that there is no place for him there.  He leaves the book instead, and my heart breaks because he cannot have everything that he wants.

Ned Lowe is DEAD, and I rejoice!  Vane is such a badass, and I was very impressed by his subtle dig implying that Ned not only will submit to Vane (“you know your place”), but that he’s one of the only captains that will do so.  This scene plays out so beautifully, leading us to assume that Ned has the upper hand, but Vane was playing him all along!  I’m so impressed that this show had the balls to kill off such a charismatic, terrifying character after just three episodes.  It shows that they know how strong their central characters truly are.

After seeing Ned’s head on a stick, Eleanor goes to Vane to reward him with sex.  WAH WAH.  I mean, honestly, half of me is annoyed by this trope, but the other half of me is genuinely touched.  This is the most intimate they’ve been during and after sex, and the fact that Vane watches her sleep does things to my heart. I am NOT a believer in their relationship as something healthy, but there’s just enough good there to convince us why they would keep returning to each other.

Speaking of surprisingly lovely sex scenes, Anne’s mostly unspoken invitation for Jack to join her and Max is really sweet.  Despite Max wanting to get between Anne and Jack (“did he see you come up?”), Anne refuses to play these power games and goes for everything she wants.  And in asking for everything, she gives up everything, disrobing for the first time.  It’s a vulnerable moment for anyone, but especially for Anne, who lets Max (and us) see her back full of scars for the first time.

Flint’s final speech resonates VERY hard after knowing some things that are going to happen to him in the near future:  “I know how you must feel, how desperate you must be to go home and be embraced by Nassau again.  But I’m here to tell you, that place no longer exists.  It has been taken from us by a madman, held hostage by threat of force that no one on the island seems able to resist…Nassau was unable to resist him, but we have yet to have our say.”

[mommabearclarke]

PotC: Dead Men Tell No Tales

or alternatively, apparently: Salazar’s Revenge.

Summary: “Johnny Depp returns to the big screen as the iconic, swashbuckling anti-hero Jack Sparrow in the all-new “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.” The rip-roaring adventure finds down-on-his-luck Captain Jack feeling the winds of ill-fortune blowing strongly his way when deadly ghost sailors, led by the terrifying Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), escape from the Devil's Triangle bent on killing every pirate at sea—notably Jack. Jack's only hope of survival lies in the legendary Trident of Poseidon, but to find it he must forge an uneasy alliance with Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), a brilliant and beautiful astronomer, and Henry (Brenton Thwaites), a headstrong young sailor in the Royal Navy. At the helm of the Dying Gull, his pitifully small and shabby ship, Captain Jack seeks not only to reverse his recent spate of ill fortune, but to save his very life from the most formidable and malicious foe he has ever faced.”

So I went to see PotC 5 with my father this weekend - like Harry Potter and LotR, this is a movie series we always watch together no matter what - and I am surprised to notice that I have thoughts that I want to write down.

So here it is: Lily’s (first ever) Movie Review! (NOT SPOILER FREE)

It’s Time For a New Generation

I’m not sure if it was intended that way or if it just...happened. But this movie seemed to make way for a new generation. Captain Jack Sparrow’s presence is decidedly less than in the other movies, and what had been teased in the trailer - Will and Elizabeth returning to our screen - was basically just that; teasing. Will only has about 10 lines at the beginning of the movie and Elizabeth never even speaks.

So a new generation! We open on little Henry Turner, going after his father - and who can blame him? Growing up without a father - a father who is a hero and is most certainly alive - cannot be easy. Next we go to grown Henry, who has certainly inherited the looks of his parents (congrats on your genes, boy!) who, like his parents, apparently likes to do his own thing and gets into trouble for it a lot.

And oh, what a character he is.

A man ahead of his time, really. Undaunted by the fears of the men of his age (witches aka women, lack of power, you get the picture), and obviously raised by the King of Pirates. Both as brave and as handsome as his parents, he fights tooth and nail for what he wants; to free his father from the Curse of the Flying Dutchman. There are several moments in the movie where I wanted to shout how much he was like his parents. The cocky smirks, the way he talked the crew of the (then non-existent) Black Pearl into helping him save Jack and Carina, and his absolute disdain of authority, reminded me violently of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, and it made me incredibly happy. About two minutes in, he has wormed himself into your heart, and will not leave it for the rest of the movie.

And what has made me most excited about this film?

Carina fucking Smyth

My girl here is the most amazing female character I’ve seen in a while in movies. She definitely matches Elizabeth with ease. At first I was extremely afraid they would use her to make unfunny sexist jokes, and have her be only Henry’s love interest (or worse: Jack’s).

Instead I got this incredible clever, witty, no-nonsense woman who rolls her eyes at sexism, and is a tiny bit naive of the world of the PotC supernatural (resulting in some hilarious moments between her and Henry). A woman of science, accused of being a witch (among others by a man of science, sexism really knows no bounds), she stumbles upon first Henry and then Captain Sparrow (whom she outwits, by the way, while they are both on the verge of being executed). She isn’t scared of anything, and when she picks the lock of her cell with her accuser standing right in front of her, she’ll have already won your heart.

And while I really want to say that Captain Jack Sparrow was the shining light, as in every movie, he was most certainly not. He was drunk the entire movie. Not Captain Jack Sparrow-drunk, but really drunk. Not-talking-clearly, being-annoying, adding-nothing-to-the-entire-narrative-whatsoever-drunk. He did not have his witty jokes, but his humor was based on his drunkenness (and that is not funny humor), and his jokes were silly and badly done. And perhaps that was the intent - like I said, it is time for the next generation.

Special Effects

The most spectacular special effect was of course, the de-aging of Johnny Depp. After Princess Leia appearing in last year’s Rogue One, it was one of the only ways to de-age Johnny (dude is old), and they did it. It was fairly well done, but, just like with Leia, fairly obviously a special effect. Still, it got the job done rather nicely, and it was nice to see a Young Lieutenant Sparrow.

Another one was Javier Bardam’s...colourful physique. It was hauntingly well-done, and of course Javier’s phenomenal acting went a long way of making the entire thing believable. 

There was no real spectacular sword fight a la the final fight in At World’s End, the fight between the two Sparrows, or where Sparrow meets Will for the first time. They made up for that with a spectacular fight on the bottom of the sea (as the sea parted for Carina as it did for Moses) and the ending of ALL curses on the sea, where Javier briefly regained his handsome features before being crushed by the closing sea.

The Twist (there be major spoilers ahead!)

Oh, it was so beautiful when it turned out that Carina Smyth was in fact Carina Barbosa. It was beautiful to see, for the first time, some real emotion and humanity in Hector Barbosa’s face (giving Geoffrey Rush some new material to work with - and how beautifully he handled that!).

And of course, at the end, when Will and Elizabeth reunited after almost twenty years apart. It was like coming home.

I must say that I had expected Will and his Dutchman to come to the rescue - when Salazar took Henry, for example. It would’ve been epic to see Will in action with the Dutchman and his father (who was completely absent from the movie sadly) to save Henry and his future daughter-in-law (because yes, of course she and Henry got together. No PotC without a love story).

Final Judgement

I enjoyed this movie immensely. Whilst I truly believe no amount of sequels can measure up to the first movie (and the second and third), this fifth instalment of Pirates was considerably better than its predecessor (On Stranger Tides). The special effects were an awe to behold, and the characters were more real than I have ever seen them. I missed the regular old Captain Jack Sparrow, though. I still can’t figure out if it was Johnny’s acting gone off the rails, a writer who does not understand Captain Jack Sparrow, or a deliberate move to - once again - make way for a new generation. Perhaps Jack Sparrow really is a “dying breed”, only three movies later than Beckett predicted.

After “On Stranger Tides”, “Dead Men Tell No Tales” makes a spectacular come back, with interesting new characters and spectacular new special effects. I give it a solid 7.5/10.

[blackgirlcouch]

Black Sails 4×9 Thoughts

God Bless Hands for reading this shit correctly. You gotta love that he calls Flint out on all his bullshit. He knows Flint has been playing Silver like a fiddle and that the man is persuasive. It’s a talent, I will give him that. But guys seriously can you not see the way he fucks over Silver. It’s horrible. He immediately gives him this hurt look to disarm him when they meet and I'm like....oh no no no. He cant kill Silver obviously because how the hell will he cover his own story, particularly at the Maroon Camp where Silver’s army awaits. Explain stealing the cache and killing the King. Hmmm. And then he used Madi’s name to bring him to heel. He literally used the thought of losing her against him!!! How awful and "if" I help save Madi??? Omg Flint really.

What was the problem with letting Rodgers have the cache THEN attacking him if you were just going to take Nassau? Silver promised to make it right. FLINT made this shit worst because you KNOW deep down Silver has surpassed him on that boat and the cache is the only card he has left to play

Because CLEARY whatever he’s preaching, no one gives a fuck about other than the plunder. The pirates are thinking of sacking as spoils...not freedom. He knows that. And these are the men he wants to lead a revolution….people who want a revolution just to loot?

Am I the ONLY sane one!!!! Silver knew exactly what and why Flint did what he did. He knows that despite their “friendship” he’ll still never let Silver do anything that isn’t supported by him and straight up, that’s not healthy. It’s not nearly as true a friendship as Silver has been to it. Fuck all the selfish motivation noise, everyone is selfish! Silver broke it to him last episode that despite him not agreeing or understanding or supporting he did it and Flint cannot return the favor? Just this once even if he don't agree? And now he’s clearly using Johns insecurity about Madi believing he’s enough to play on him because he thinks he’s that good and because he really can’t do this without Silver. That’s not a sentiment. It’s a fact.

If anything this episode truly exposed the unequal balance between these two and how dare ANYONE say Silver is acting crazy. No, he’s realizing some truths and even then he paused at the thought of killing him. HE didn’t want this to happen. Flint made this happen. I’m sorry but I would not find giving up my most cherished loved one via a battle for something you don’t believe in even if they do. And all that Madi talk was supposition on Flint's part. Yeah we know what she said but Flint and Silver have no idea. And who's to say she can't after hearing everything understand Silvers stance?

And I get Silvers desperation because he led her to him. Imagine the guilt if she’s slain while Flint used her story to continue his own destructive path for again no altruistic reasons. And no, I think Silver telling Madi about Flint's past wasn’t inappropriate. It’s his lover and wife in his eyes. Honesty is something that exists between them and they trust each other enough with the secrets. She shares his burden with him as a tether. She's never told so this anger Silver trusted her with this is just stupid. Flint didn't make him pinky swear. And he obviously told her to get her to understand his loyalty to Flint when SHE was the one completely distrustful of him. She was right to be worried and he convinced her otherwise. Her dying because of that...yeah I'd be feeling some kind of way too.

I wonder if he told her his backstory. The flashbacks looked incomplete. And what the hell happened Silver? Seems like a loss he never got over. A mother or family attacked…omg what if it’s by pirates lol no seriously though something BAD happened and him not telling Flint was that part of Silver that has always remembered who Flint is. I feel like Flint would have had a huge weapon against him and if you feel the need,again, to protect yourself from someone it is not a good sign of friendship.

I have a feeling his backstory is obviously connected to why he will burn it all for Madi though I felt cock teased we didn’t get it. WTF Starz.

Billy was Billy. He better not hurt my Madi!!!!was that his arm in the preview with the knife ?

Lastly to Madi. I loved her dragging Woodes for filth and speaking her truth. What she said was absolutely correct and valid…..buttttt….some observations.

A. She looked terrified. She has resigned that she will die and she’s clearly out of her depth with the real world.

B. Everything Woodes said to her was true. Hate Woodes all you want. She was right in placing Eleanor’s death on the correct door but she is lucky! That he is choosing to have her brought to his cabin and talk to her is more than anyone else would do personal feelings aside. Everyone on that Island was raped or killed. She is in the eyed of the law property but speaks to her like person. He could have had her tortured for info. He could have given her to the Spanish in angerm Yeah she truly is lucky and she DOESN'T know it. >Yes as a black woman I was totally clapping when she told him about her people’s suffering. But again this is where her sheltered life becomes apparent as she says she is doing it for her people when she hasn’t spoken with her people. Things have happened that she remains unaware of.

Does she even know Flint stole the cache? She is speaking on half info so her remaining her stance does not equate her siding against Silver or means she may side with Flint against Silver. Oh no. If anything the speech gave us clues to her own wavering as well as the obvious emotional state she is in. She’s resigned that she’ll die. She will accept the martyr role if it sparks the cause. But she said, “Flint’s war” and “my war” They are as aligned as their shared purpose which we all know looking in is not exactly the same.

I mentioned it in another post but how can one person choose for a group of people? You know I love her but I feel like in fairness to her people they should get to decide what they can and cannot live with it it willing to sacrifice for. Julius understands this because he’s been in those chains longer than Madi and as smart as she is she isn’t street smart as they say. I hope this is brought up. Because imagine it like this. What if Germany offered a peace treaty days before D-Day and the president never told the American people? Wouldn't you have at least considered or even after all the horrible things done if it avoided bloodshed? Even if it didn't comes with everything to avoid that many men? Dictatorship on any level even for the better of her people is still not ok and that's not just in the show but I'm life as someone issuing out ultimatums recently learned.

Both she and Flint are dictators and Id be remiss in pointing out that both are wrong in believing they alone can dictate the course of this "war" but Zethu was right. Silver has to reign wifey in.

I wanted more of her of course.

And I can almost pinpoint where Flint fucked up in his speech. “ you cannot tell a story that will make her forgive that ” Did you just tell the master storyteller who even fooled you he was an orphan for the past however long? to come up with a tale Ha. That’s LJS speciality right there and he learned from the master! He may think Madi is dead right now or worse since Woodes has no use for her now, at least that’s what Silver is thinking and where does that leave you Flint?!.

Look at Jack lol He’s going to be the rescue plan but so many things will go wrong for him. The stroke guy should have been the sign to turn back

Ben Gunn’ s tragic marooning.

Who has a knife to Madi? Really, Flint is going to keep with the Koolaid. Dude. Dude. Duuuuuddddeeee. DeGroot is dead. Have you no soul man! He thinks making it mean something gives him a pass on all the death he’s caused. Poor thing. I almost want to hug him and then snuff him out for his own good.

Woodes wants Flint alive? Why? Why do I suspect Flint ends up with WR as Billy has to get the map? Omg I hope Billy and Flint don’t collaborate to use Madi to get Silver to back down though why Idk…

Great episode overall. I don’t get the complaints. The story was consistent with everything and its playing out beautifully. The sword teaching was awesome. R.I.P. Walrus.

[starbinds]

so, i’ve been wanting to make a sort of character analysis of jack rackham for a while, because i think there’s a huge misinterpretation of him in fandom.

warning: if you love jack and don’t want to see anything said about him other than positive things, it’s probably better for you to skip this. i’m not saying this to be mean, and this is not really a hate piece, but it shines a different light on jack that may not always be favorable or good. so, if you want to avoid negativity, which is perfectly understandable, please don’t read this. because a) i don’t want to upset anyone, and b) quite frankly, as much as i love to talk to people about these things, i’m also not in the mood to deal with defensive fans who refuse to see him as anything other than a saint.

now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. let me start by asking something of you: mentally describe jack in 5 words or less. what are his major characteristics/personality traits? you see, i guarantee you that most people, when confronted with this question, would probably have “smart” or “intelligent” somewhere in those 5 words. maybe you did too. it’s the 1st thing you think off when you think about jack: he’s smart and funny. he describes himself as such. “my only assets are my wits”, right? jack is supposed to be the archetype of the dude who’s not physically capable, but that makes up for it with his smarts and humor. except that this is not true.

at the risk of sounding annoying and condescending, i’ll ask something else: what has jack accomplished on the show that has been done so through his own merit? because the answer is, not much, if anything at all. jack consistently is only able to achieve something through either the help of someone (and by help, i mean getting carried there by them, pretty much) or through simply using someone else to prop himself up by throwing them under the bus.

i’m going to give you a rundown of jack’s major successes and general most important achievements and plot points:

1. getting the brothel? vane is responsible for that, since he was the one who killed noonan. jack’s only merit is getting mrs. mapleton on their side, and he basically only had to offer her more money.

2. backtracking a little bit here (sorry for that, but this is very important), how is jack even alive and well at this point, having suffered no major consequence after his colossal fuck up with losing all that money? max is suffering the consequences for him. which he has no problem with btw, even though he’s really the one to blame.

3. getting back to chronological order, what about actually running the brothel in an efficient manner and actually making profit? max’s there for that too, and she’s the sole responsible for this tbh, because jack, for all his talk of how smart he is, cannot seem to accomplish anything here (spoiler alert: this is a pattern). anne herself says, "ain't you always the one telling everyone how fucking clever you are? figure it out." except he never does, really. max comes along and solves all of his problems for him.

4. getting his captainship and a ship back after vane “disowns” him? max again! hurray, isn’t she awesome? he also achieves this by throwing anne under the bus, when she would have been just as legitimate a choice for a captain as he was. it’s not like you can tell me he’d be more competent.

5. getting the gold? max! AGAIN. fantastic.

6. getting an important position in running the island in s3? well, he’s sure not there because he’s good at it, that’s for sure. he’s there because of the gold, which in turn only exists because of max. also possibly because vane and him are buddies.

6.1. now, this is not an achievement per se. or an achievement at all, because it is disgusting. but it is a prime example of jack using and abusing others to make something of himself or fixing his own messes, and that’s rebuilding the fort. so, like, think on this: this man goes on and on about how smart he is, right? anne attested to that, as previously mentioned. and what’s the best idea he can think of to deal with his own incompetence? slave labor! i mean, it sucks, but, hey, at least he feels bad about it!

7. being able to come out of this whole mess with a shitload of money and the prospect of a peaceful future when england takes nassau? max, our always reliable friend, is there for that too. of course, jack threw all of that into the trash can because of his own hubris and self-centered crap, and his absolute need to have people remembering his name somehow. but we don’t talk about that. no, really. we don’t talk about it. but we sure do talk about how max didn’t risk her life to save him from his own ignorance, all the time! jack is still a child, you see! he can’t be held accountable for his actions, that he is well aware will endanger his life.

8. and, finally, becoming buddy buddy with blackbeard and apparently commanding with/beside him? yeah, that’s on vane. who died. oopsy. i guess we really are emotional beings after all and not even the almighty blackbeard escapes sentimentality. because he sure as hell did not give a single fuck about rackham before that.

so, there, let’s make a headcount to summarize:

max helped out/literally did everything for him/was brutally abused to save his ass: 6 times

anne was fucked over: 1 time

vane killed people/died/bros before throwing my buddy out for being an incompetent fuck: 3 times

slave labor is the way to go!!1!: 1 time

so, i think i made my point. all the major things jack was able to achieve were done mostly on the backs of other people. in fact, when left to his own devices, self-proclaimed “smart as hell” guy, is hilariously incompetent. and i really mean the hilarious part, because, at this point, the funny part of jack’s character doesn’t come from us laughing with him or what he says (making him funny), but from us laughing at him. at how utterly incapable he can be.

even prior to the show there are suggestions that it was pretty much the same. anne says, "i've put a lot of bodies in the ground for you, haven't i? [...] watched your back. cleaned up your messes. carried out your plans. i didn't always understand. didn't always agree. but i did it. some fucked-up, awful shit 'cause i knew you needed it done." i think it’s pretty self-explanatory.

you could say that this inconsistency with what jack says and what he actually is like is bad writing. and maybe it is. maybe the writers really want me to believe jack is smart by making him fail miserably repeatedly, but i don’t think that’s their goal at all. and even if it is, it doesn’t matter, because what they show me works in a completely different way. you think jack is supposed to be the smart and funny and less athletic stereotype, but in reality it’s far more complex than that. 

personally speaking, i think jack is deeply insecure. i mean this has been proven this season already (s4). he knows he’s never going to be like vane, for example, he’s never going to be able to fight like him or be feared or worshipped for the same reasons (which is okay, obviously. why would anyone want to be like vane tbh.), so he feels he has something to prove. 

and he thinks he can accomplish this through his smarts. and that by loudly shouting at the world how smart he is, people will believe it.(and apparently it works because a lot of the audience eats it up.) this in and of itself should tell us something. the fact that he needs to even proclaim and assert it. 

you know that scene in 1.02, where he says that he has slit men’s throats in their sleep without remorse, so the sex workers can’t hope to con him, or whatever? and it’s all bullshit, obviously. that’s what jack claiming to be so smart feels to me.

max, silver and flint are some of the smartest people on the show, and, most importantly, they are able to use their smarts to understand and manipulate the situations and people around them in the very way jack claims (and the fandom thinks) he can do. but they don’t brag about how smart they are. they don’t have to. 

so, jack, to me, works as a foil to these characters. they are what he wished he could be, but will ultimately never achieve. and that’s the ironic and somewhat sad thing about jack. what he really is all about to me. he’s is always trying so hard, too hard, but he’ll always fail to accomplish it, precisely because of that. he wants to make history, he wants to be remembered so badly, and while we know he somewhat succeeds, he will never be a flint, or a silver, people who will undoubtedly become legends in the world of black sails.

i’m going to end this here somewhat awkwardly, because i feel i’ve said my piece. like i mentioned, this is not supposed to be about hate. it’s something that i’ve been thinking about for a while and that has been bothering me. 

i also know there will be people that will be like, “well, but max needed jack too!” and yes, she did. but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s essentially the driving force behind everything jack accomplishes. it doesn’t change the times in which she literally does everything for him. max needs jack the way a captain needs a crew. you can remove jack from the equation very easily tbh, she could get the help of any other pirate (and probably not have had to deal with so much shit.) but max is the source. it all revolves around her. you cannot remove her.

so, the bottom line of all of this is: jack is not as smart as everyone thinks he is. but!! that’s also okay, because, personally speaking, it makes for a more interesting story and character. now if only people stopped acting like jack’s very smart and ignoring max’s role, that’d be great.

[hyperfixatingrn]

Rewatch & Explanation

TL;DR: I rewatched all of season 4 and took notes on interesting things, themes, and just general things I noticed. I also responded to supposed plot holes and other questions I’ve seen floating around. The extensive notes are, expectedly, in the “keep reading.”

For anyone who cares: Season 4 of Sherlock fucked me up. Not necessarily because I was depressed by it; it was more because the show literally consumed me for almost the entire month of January. The day after TFP, I looked in the mirror and realized that I had forgotten to take care of myself for over a week.

I wasn’t fully satisfied with season 4 on my first watch, but I liked it enough. But having trusted Moftiss almost implicitly when it comes to the writing of this show, I was really surprised when this season didn’t wow me as much as it usually does. The negative attitude that just erupted with the end of the season and the feeling of impending doom concerning the show’s future was a bit too much for me. I felt my opinions of the season were too clouded and influenced by my own anxiety and other people’s frustrations. But this show has really meant so much to me for the past 7 years.  So, on the Monday after TFP aired, I did what was most therapeutic and rewatched the whole season while commenting on it/answering any questions or assumed plot holes I have seen floating around, so that I could decide my real, final opinion on the season. At the end of the rewatch I cried tears and tears of joy. I really think this season is worth another shot. It wasn’t the best, but that doesn’t mean it was bad. I am finally posting it.

P.S. A side note... I’ve never really done meta and I’m too fragile/insecure to test my abilities out right now. So sometimes I will point out something or a theme/motif but not go deep into why I think it is that way. Sorry!

1. “Sherlock said he knew exactly what Moriarty was going to do next, but he didn’t.”

At the end of TAB, we see Sherlock say he knows what Moriarty is going to do next. This line is referred to in the beginning of TST. Lady Smallwood says, “...You also say you know what he’s going to do next.” To that, Sherlock responds that Moriarty has, “Planned something, something long-term. Something that would take effect if he never made it off that rooftop alive. Posthumous revenge. No, better than that - posthumous game.” What we see here is that while Sherlock does not know “exactly” the specifics of Moriarty’s return, he has basically hit the nail on the head in terms of a “posthumous game,” which we see in TFP.

side analysis: Sherlock asks if it is his birthday in TST, and then it is his birthday in TLD. Cute little wrap up.

2. In TST, we see Mycroft look at a photo of a baby girl and have no idea what to say about it. He goes on to say that he has never been good with humans. This is indicative of how he could put his sister in a prison for 30 years and tell her parents she was dead and allow her other brother to believe she doesn’t exist.

3. “Eurus’s powers are over the top. She is not a superhero.”

In TST Sherlock says, “The world is woven from billions of lives, every strand crossing every other. What we call premonition is just movement of the web. If you could attenuate to every strand of quivering data, the future would be entirely calculable. As inevitable as mathematics.” This theory is brought up a second time in the season in TLD: “Interesting, isn’t it. I have theorised before that if one could attenuate to every available data stream in the world simultaneously, it would be possible to anticipate and deduce almost anything.” As this is brought up TWICE, we can assume is how Eurus operates. It is a foreshadowing of Eurus’s impressive capabilities. She is able to predict and control the world. She is so clever that she makes herself aware of all the data of the world and can therefore predict the future. It is also worth noting that Mrs. Holmes is a former mathematician. So Eurus’s intelligence/attention to the world’s data is as easy for her as mathematics is for her mother. Ahhh... family.

4. In TST, Mycroft reveals that Sherlock wrote his own version of “Appointment in Samarra” as a child because he didn’t like that the man had to die. He writes “Appointment in Sumatra” instead where the man actually outruns death and becomes a pirate. (Sherlock is the softest.) In TFP, Moriarty reveals TO Mycroft (five years in the past) that he wrote his own version of the Nativity as a child called “The Hungry Donkey.” He says that putting a baby in a manger is just asking for it. Sherlock and Moriarty’s fan fictions give insight to the inherent emotional differences between Sherlock and Moriarty. Sherlock is highly emotional and afraid of death, while Moriarty welcomes it. Much like how Sherlock fakes his death, but Moriarty shoots himself in the mouth just to win the argument.

5. “TFP was just a bunch of horror movies in one episode.”

Well, while I lack the knowledge to actually dispute this (I don’t watch horror movies) the horror movie trend was already set in TST. While John and Mary discuss Rosie’s destruction of the front room, they mention a couple of horror movies, The Exorcist and The Omen, and then speak about how Rosie cannot be both the devil and the antichrist.

side analysis: Napoleon is mentioned twice in the series. Once by Craig in TST: “Thatcher’s like, I dunno, Napoleon now.” And once by Sherlock in TLD: “Napoleon Bonaparte... Actually, just Napoleon would do.”

6. A theme of daughters.

I was suspicious of this, but I believe my theory has been confirmed. There is at least one daughter in every episode. TST: Rosie and also the daughter of Jack Sandeford, the owner of the last Thatcher bust. TLD: Culverton’s daughter Faith. TFP: Eurus. In TST, Sandeford’s daughter is swimming in the pool. This is most likely a foreshadow for the deep water nightmares and Eurus’s relation to it. Faith is the daughter of a psychopath, while Eurus is a real psychopath, and Eurus disguises herself as Faith. This obviously isn’t a proper analysis... but the fact is there.

7. Sherlock is off his game is TST, but the revealing part is why.

Sherlock is trying very hard in TST to be Season 1′s “high functioning sociopath.” He wants to be unemotional and focused on only work. He texts during his best friend’s important life events and doesn’t seriously engage with anyone in a manner that is unrelated to work. He is assumes his strategies have succeeded and that he knows exactly what is happening. He assumes Moriarty is behind the busts because Mycroft mentioned that Jim had, “latterly shown some interest in tracking down the Black Pearl of the Borgias.” Which is why Sherlock breaks the Thatcher bust with such arrogance saying, “Let me present Interpol’s number one case. Too tough for them, too boring for me.” He is wrong about what is in the bust, obviously. He misses what is “right in front of him.” Sherlock also loses his cool and goes off on deduction temper tantrums twice in the episode. First, he fake-deduces that a man’s wife is a spy, just because the man thought he had “done something clever,” but it’s actually quite “simple.” In this moment, we see that Sherlock still has a lot of growing up to do. We see it again in his interaction with Mrs. Norbury as he degrades her again and again, even as Mary warns him not to. He ends it with a kicker: “Vivian Norbury, who outsmarted them all. All except Sherlock Holmes.” The second fit proves fatal to his best friend’s wife. In the end, Sherlock must realize that it is not his detached, callous, emotionless manner that gets him to solve the cases AND save the life. It is his heart. That is what is so important about this episode and really why it starts the journey of Season 4.

8. “Families fall out.” - Sherlock

Sherlock says this in TST in response to Mary. Clearly foreshadowing Eurus. What is even more damning is the game he plays with the boy in Morocco. 

Sherlock: Mr. Baker. Well, that completes the set. 

Boy: No, it does not. 

Sherlock: Well, who else am I missing?

Boy: Master Bun. It’s not a set without him.

Sherlock: I suppose I’m not familiar with the concept... happy families.

This is so clearly a reference to the fact that Sherlock is unaware his family is incomplete, yet still completely aware that his family is unhappy. Also Mr. Baker? Baker Street? Mr. Baker is probably a symbol for Sherlock. Sherlock saying that Mr. Baker completes the set shows that he believes he is the youngest child and the end of the Holmes family. The boy then says Sherlock is missing “Master Bun,” who is apparently a “him” in this game, but I think that the metaphor still holds. 

9. “There was no indication that Sherlock dreamt of water. Also how could Sherlock dream of water if he had no idea about the well?”

Well first of all, it is clearly stated that Eurus called him “Drowned Redbeard,” but never told them where he was. So it is perfectly reasonable to believe that Sherlock would be haunted by water as his “dog” drowned in it. We also see that Sherlock’s memories are coming back to him even before he is aware of Eurus. When Mary knocks Sherlock out with the drugged letter he has a dream of Redbeard, playing pirate, and Eurus’s song. Then as the dream fades out you see Sherlock running off in the distance, with another boy. Who we know is not Mycroft, because Mycroft was pretty overweight as a child and also much taller than Sherlock. So this is clearly a hazy memory of Victor coming back to Sherlock. As Sherlock wakes up you hear the crashing of the waves, which again emphasizes the importance of water. When the bullet starts towards Sherlock he instantly has a look of fear as a reflection of water dances across his face and loud sounds of water splash all around him. Here we see another example of how Eurus was right and it is true that Sherlock has nightmares of deep water. In Sherlock’s session with Ella, she asks him, “You’ve been having dreams. A recurring dream?” SO we must assume this is a dream about water as it is a reoccurring motif. Sherlock AGAIN hears Eurus’s song in TLD when he is on the bank after Eurus, disguised as Faith, says, “Anyone.”

10. “Not on my watch.”

This phrase is said three times in season 4. It is said by both Sherlock and Mycroft. Mycroft says it in TST, “I don’t like loose ends, not on my watch.” Sherlock says it in TST and TFP. He says it in TST in response to Mycroft suggesting Mary would be “retired in a pretty permanent way.” And he says it in TFP in response to Eurus. “Five minutes. It took her just five minutes to do all of this to us. Well, not on my watch.” I feel as though the implication of actual minutes gives a deeper meaning to the phrase “not on my watch” in TFP. Like, perhaps it wasn’t actually five minutes, it was much longer or much shorter... Just a thought. Fucky.

11. Planes

This is a weak thought, but again the facts are there... There’s never been a season with more than one plane and in season 4 there are three. The one Mary is on disguised as an American, the one all three of them are on, and the one Eurus is on. And John daydreams Eurus (disguised as the girl on the bus) while on the plane, which is coincidental considering Eurus’s main dream/hallucination is that she is on a plane. 

12. Culverton poster in TST foreshadowing (I just honestly didn’t notice the tagline)

“It’s murder in...”

13. In TST, in between the shots of Norbury being escorted out of the aquarium and John in the cemetery, we see a visual of a casket burning. This cannot be Mary because she would either be cremated without a casket or put in a casket (I’m not an expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s how it works?) After watching TFP for the second time, I can confirm that the casket is either pratically identical or is the Molly Hooper casket in TFP. So the question is: Why? Honestly I don’t know. I’ll get back to you.

14. I wish this was #13, but it didn’t work out that way. So the question is WHAT is 13th? It is on a post-it note on Mycroft’s fridge and he sees it and immediately calls Sherrinford. What does it all mean? That doesn’t mean it’s a plot hole, it just means it’s something that hasn’t been explained explicitly. There is a difference.

15. “Your kitchen window faces east.”

Sherlock says this in TLD in his explanation to “Faith” about how he knew her kitchen was tiny. “Faith” is Eurus. Eurus is the east wind. EAST WIND IS COMING. Obviously a foreshadow that this woman is Eurus and the east wind.

16. Development: Mycroft

In TLD, when Lady Smallwood defends Sherlock’s grief over Mary, Mycroft says, “Everybody dies. It’s the one thing human beings can be relied upon to do. How can it still come as a surprise to people?” He is so callous he almost sounds like Moriarty. However, in TFP, he refuses to take a man’s life, “I can’t do this. It’s murder.” He is the one at Sherrinford who cannot take the violence or death. He is constantly shocked by death in TFP. This is clear human development on Mycroft’s part. He is learning and growing and becoming more human.

17. “Is he with someone?” “Not sure. We keep losing visual.”

I think this part has been vastly overlooked. At the time I believe some assumed (though not me because I know a Sian Brooke when I see one) that this little interaction between Mycroft and the man watching the video feed suggested that Sherlock was hallucinating Faith, but after it was confirmed that she was real, the interaction was glassed over. The interaction signifies, to me, that Eurus has power in the government as well or at least that Sherrinford kept keeping Mycroft from seeing her.

18. Game of chess.

Remember in TEH, we think we see Sherlock and Mycroft enraptured in a game of chess, but it actually turns out to be a simple game of operation. In season 4, there were many visuals of a chess table. The hostages in TST play chess and say, “Chess palls after three months.” In TLD, as Sherlock falls onto his couch after his swirling hallucination, we see a chess table underneath the couch. It also in the last shot of the flat before the scene in which Eurus is revealed. In the promotional photos of TFP, Mycroft and Sherlock are actually playing chess, as opposed to in TEH. This probably suggests that season 3 was easier and more child’s play, and that the struggles the boys are up against in season 4 are much more serious and complicated.

19. Once More Unto the Breach

EASILY my favorite scene in the entire seires, besides the hug and Sherlock/baby scenes. Drugged out Sherlock/Ben reciting Shakespeare is something I thought I could have only imagined in my wildest fantasies. This speech itself is usually pretty tame in comparison, though, in context, it is King Henry V RILING his troops up to try to once again attack a weak spot in the enemy’s walls. What is worth noting is that this is the speech when Mrs. Hudson becomes part of the plan to save John Watson. She watched the video, so she might be aware of what Sherlock is doing, but she decides to speed him up. She becomes one of his troops. Also, at the end of his speech he shoots a picture of Culverton with a quote that says, “You wouldn’t believe the things they let me get away with!” Nice detail.

20. Eurus answers John’s phone

WOAHH. Something I totally missed first time watching. Eurus answers John’s phone while he’s dealing with Sherlock and the person on the other end is Culverton Smith. So... that’s worth noting. Especially considering later that she says that Culverton Smith “gave” her the letter. Also like... John is polite to women and also distracted so he doesn’t call her out on this, but like that ISN’T chill. That’s his first session and she answers his phone? Something was off right away.

21. “Get me a fresh glass of water, please, this one’s filthy.”

VERY funny. I laughed, we all laughed. BUT Eurus actually gets him a new glass of water. A metaphor possibly? We all know that he is haunted by her song and water... sooo.... idk just an idea

22. “It’s gone downhill a bit, hasn’t it?”

Everyone assumed that this scene was an indication that this was a dream. No one really knew who John was. It was off, but maybe for a different reason. Let’s consider the fact that John probably hasn’t really been with Sherlock for a significant time. It’s been over three months since Mary died (because it had been three months from when Sherlock had the drug hallucination after Faith to when he and John met Culverton) and also it has been over half a year since the baby was born. John hasn’t gone out with Sherlock in, I’d say at least four months. And before that he was going out with him less and less because of the baby and maybe his last blogs were rushed or spotty BECAUSE he was multitasking and he had a lot on his mind. So, what we can assume is that the blog HAS gone downhill and people are maybe even starting to forget John Watson, which is frankly John’s worst nightmare and sets off his temper. It also makes me wonder if this is related to why John was looking at an image of his blog in TST.

23. The sheep in the waiting room

This visual IMMEDIATELY reminded me of “The Story of Sir Boast-a-lot” in TRF. I actually thought it WAS the exact same visual at first. The sheep are jumping over a fence which is suggestive of “counting sheep to get to sleep.” SO, it is understandable that some people believed this was a dream. I tend to think that instead it was just a hypnotizing, drug-affected scene. Sherlock isn’t totally there. He feels “psychedelic,” as he just topped up in the bathroom. He’s awake, but he isn’t totally there.

24. “Why did John beat up Sherlock? Why didn’t he trust the evidence in front of him instead of listening to Culverton?”

Well, from what we’ve learned from TFP, Eurus can reprogram people’s minds. Eurus was John’s therapist. Whether Eurus made John more susceptible to insecurity or the death of his wife did, I’m not sure. But what we do know is that in the scene in the mortuary Culverton mocks John’s intelligence many times. He really drives home the point that John’s an idiot and not a real doctor for listening to Sherlock who is too high to know what’s real anymore. These attacks really shake John, whereas I argue they would not have in the past. He is usually rather confident in himself and his abilities. But this insecurity in him is rather noticeable. It is also pretty valid. John is nearing rock bottom already and it takes one more nudge from Culverton to get him to the bottom of the barrel. Whether it was Eurus or Mary’s death that made him so fragile, is up for debate. As for John attacking Sherlock, we can speculate whether Euros programmed John to beat up Sherlock. However, I would like to imagine that John just loses his mind in that mortuary. He is not himself. He hasn’t spent time with the man who keeps him grounded, Sherlock, in maybe over 4 months. His wife is dead. He doesn’t spend time with his daughter. He is losing himself. He takes it out on Sherlock, which is not healthy or good, I agree. I cannot explain this away. I would like to quote John Watson on this one, “Why can’t some things be unacceptable and we just accept that?”

25. “Why did Mrs. Hudson call Mycroft a reptile? A bit overboard?”

Well, right before Mrs. Hudson calls Mycroft a reptile she tells everyone to get out because they’re about to watch John’s deceased wife’s video. She says that “Anyone who stays here a minute longer is admitting to me personally they do not have a single spark of human decency.” And then everyone leaves, except Mycroft, who stays with his eyes fixed on the screen ready to watch. So she calls him a reptile because he has just proved that he doesn’t have a “single spark of human decency.” She is such a BAMF. She is the ideal grandma.

26. “I don’t want to die.”

This is profound for me. Sherlock has always been incredibly careless with his life. In ASIP, he was willing to risk the 50/50 chance of death, just to prove he was clever. In TGG, he anxiously scratches the back of his head with a GUN. He doesn’t appear to value his life. He risks death, or great harm, more times than I can count, just for the high or just to prove he’s clever. BUT, this episode we finally see the turn. We see Sherlock understand that when you die you’re not losing your own life, your friends and family are losing you. “Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it. Off it.” And now as he faces death, he cries and admits that he doesn’t want to die. This man is not Season 1 Sherlock Holmes.

27. “How did Eurus get the original note??? Why?”

This one is tricky, not a plot hole, just challenging (as Gatiss said). But I do have some theories. Eurus says that, “Culverton gave me the original note. A mutual friend put us in touch.” We must assume, or at least I did, that this mutual friend is Moriarty, unless Eurus made other “friends” on Sherrinford. We can also assume this because Eurus says that Sherlock didn’t get the “big one” (one as in deduction that she added to the note), which WAS “Miss Me?” Now what she says about who gave it to her causes me to come up with three possible theories all of which start which the fact that I assume Culverton is friends or at least in touch with Moriarty as they are both legendary criminals. These are the theories: 1. Culverton decided he wanted to finally be free and confess to everyone permanently (why else would he keep the note after all that time?) and gave Moriarty the note to give to someone to help him out. BUT based off of Culverton’s face when he finds out that Sherlock had a recording device in John’s walking cane, this theory seems unlikely. 2. Culverton gave it as a present to Moriarty because Moriarty is weird and twisted like that and would probably love a present like that. THEN Moriarty gave it to Eurus. And finally... 3. Culverton told Moriarty about the note, Moriarty told Eurus about the note, then Eurus drugged Culverton (with TD-12???) and stole the note herself. So perhaps when she says that Culverton gave her the original note, she’s more being ironic and doesn’t mean it as precisely as it comes off.

28. The gun. “A tranquilizer gun is not the same as a real gun...”

I thought that I was going to have a very difficult time analyzing this or even proving this wrong until I actually rewatched the scene. The focus is never put on the gun. The gun is actually never in focus. Then we hear a gun shot and we look down the barrel of a gun. When you look down the barrel of the gun in the end and the screen turns red, I believe that meant to be a literal red herring because quite honestly, to me, the barrel we stare down in that final moment does not look the same as the gun in the rest of the scene. The gun she is flailing around (out of focus, mind you) seems to have two separate barrels, which is what appears to be the requirement of a tranquilizer gun. And I did some research on tranquilizer guns and what they can look like, and they can look quite similar to a regular gun, not exactly alike, but similar. And then the plot hole question becomes “John is a soldier, shouldn’t he have known the difference?” Well, as capable as John is, I’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt in this situation, because I’ve been to therapy and I know what it’s like to have your guard down and then suddenly realize your therapist isn’t trustworthy. It’s very intense. So a woman he trusted suddenly started locking him in and revealed she was the crazy secret sister of his best friend who he had also vaguely had an affair with and then she pointed a gun to his face. No matter his training, he was not prepared to be in battle mode and check out whether her gun was real. If it looks like a psychopath and talks like a psychopath, assume she’s pointing a real gun at you, was probably his instinct.

29. “So you’re telling me Eurus was just going to “tranquilize” John so he could just run and tell Sherlock??”

Yes... literally that is what I am telling you. She planned a massive, intense, dark game for Sherlock at Sherrinford. Are you telling me she was just going to kill John and risk Sherlock never showing up to her murder island? Of course she wants him to find out who she is. But also she’s a HOLMES. She wants credit for her cleverness. THEN ALSO people are saying, “Yeah ok, but then why did she send a grenade to their house.” As we’ve already discussed Eurus can accurately predict people’s actions almost perfectly. She probably predicted how they would react to the grenade and how they would try and save themselves from the grenade. A point I will make later is that the aftermath of the blast does not seem that devastating. All of the walls are fine. Sherlock and John’s chairs are fine. Papers and stuff are burnt but there is no structural damage. I believe Mycroft overestimated how awful the grenade would be. I don’t even think it would have killed them. They all survived. She wanted them to come. She didn’t plan for five years for nothing. She just wanted to play with their heads.

30. “Why would Mycroft’s first instinct be to smile when he saw his family film rather than the movie he was watching? Rather than wondering what was wrong?”

Well as they (they as in Mycroft and Sherlock) say, “Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.” Mycroft is clever, but as Mrs. Hudson points out... he’s an idiot and he’s becoming more human every episode. So when he sees himself as an overweight child eating cake next to his “brother mine” of course he smiles. Of course, he’s confused. But of course he smiles.

31. If TFP was going for the horror movie theme, this opening scene really sets it up very nicely. It gave me chills the first and second time watching. 

32. “How could Redbeard have been a child? If he was, how could Mycroft talk about it as if it was nothing?”

Well, I believe there are a couple things of note here. Mycroft, while cold, cares about Sherlock a lot. This is made clear from the very first episode. We see in the TFP that even when Sherlock felt he was bullying him by bringing up Redbeard or the “east wind,” Mycroft was trying to analyze Sherlock and see if his memories had resurfaced, if at all. He’s very sensitive about it. He worries. In the scene in the flat, Mycroft is delicately telling Sherlock about his sister that he forgot existed and I think it would have been a bad idea for him to suddenly drop the bomb that his beloved dog was actually his best friend. Mycroft lies to protect Sherlock. When Sherlock accusing Mycroft of lying, he admits it and says, “It is also a kindness.” Another moment that is revealing is:

John: You don’t lock up a child because a dog goes missing.

Mycroft: Quite so.

So Mycroft is actually hinting that Eurus wasn’t locked up because a dog went missing, but for a much bigger reason: Victor Trevor’s death. He continues to go into depth on why they had to send her away, which reveals a scene in which she draws Sherlock’s death a number of times while her parents talk in the background. Daddy Holmes says, “She knows where he is!” To which Mommy Holmes responds, “We can’t make her tell us. We can’t make her do anything.” This already indicates that it is a much bigger issue than a dog, though I admit I missed it at first glance. If Eurus had drowned a dog, they wouldn’t still be worrying about where the body is. Only a human body would still be necessary for a funeral and also the family. Another side point is that, a dog is usually a family thing, but Sherlock has always described it as “his dog.” At first I thought this was endearing, but then I realized it was because Victor was HIS best friend and that’s how he remembered it.

33. “John knows what grenades are & Mycroft knew what that specific grenade was and could have mentioned it before the motion sensor turned on!”

In terms of Mycroft, he’s not used to field work. You hear him say the second he sees it, “Keep back! Keep as still as you can!” His reflexes are not as sharp as John’s or Sherlock’s because he’s a behind the scenes man. If Sherlock had known what it was he would have formulated a plan in seconds. He’s the “dragon slayer,” he lives for the action. Mycroft however is always on the other side. He panicked, I believe. He knew what he was seeing and tried to warn them, but it wasn’t good enough. He is not perfect or great in the field and we see especially in TFP. As Sherlock points out, “I’m beginning to think you’re not [clever].” In terms of John, this is very clearly not a regular grenade, or one John is used to, because someone would have to pull the plug and throw it, while this is resting on a drone. If John had seen a grenade thrown in a room his response time would be immediate. Again, when called to battle his reflexes are immediate. His question also comes immediately after he hears Mycroft say, “Keep as still as you can!” This I guess begs the question exactly what KIND of grenade are we dealing with? So he IMMEDIATELY, literally immediately after Mycroft says that, asks “What is it?” I think he was asking very specifically what kind of grenade it was rather than being like, “oi doi, what’s that? I’ve never seen one of these before.” He was responding to Mycroft’s fierce reaction. He wanted the specifics based on the reaction.

34. “How are Sherlock, John, and Mycroft not scathed at all after enduring a blast of a grenade?”

To be fair, I think Mycroft vastly overestimated its powers. I don’t actually think it was that deadly. If they had stood in the same spot, sure. BUT, the entire flat was mostly salvageable after the burst, so the bomb couldn’t have been that bad. There was absolutely no structural damage and all of the furniture was fine. I think it was a fire that burned hot but burned quick. It wasn’t that deadly. Eurus wanted them to get to her, so she wasn’t trying to kill them. Think of it like TGG when Sherlock endures the blast of the bomb from across the street, but is not in the bomb, so he doesn’t really get hurt. A second story window is honestly not that high. Yes broken glass, but their backs endured most of the damage. Their arms/elbows went through the glass first so as not to damage their beautiful faces. Who knows if they have scratches on their backs and arms. They were covered for the entirety of the episode. Anything that happened to them would probably be bruises or cuts beneath their clothes. The jump is a bit fantastical, yes. But Sherlock has always been that way. Always. We’ve just always forgiven it or accepted it as part of the world.

35. “How did they get on the boat?”

Helicopter. The new boy on the boat asks if he hears a helicopter, but the older man passes it off as just the weather. But this is the helicopter that helps Sherlock and John get on the boat. Helicopters have drop down ladders or ropes. Not that difficult really. They do it in the military all the time. John is a soldier and Sherlock is clearly very trained in many forms of things so, not that far fetched.

36. “It’s totally ooc for Sherlock to ignore Vatican Cameos.”

Well, yeah. That’s 100% the point. Eurus is intoxicating for almost everyone. Sherlock is so distracted by her psychotic nature that he doesn’t notice that there is NO GLASS. He admits the scheme is so easy “its transparent” (haha pun). But seriously, this moment was supposed to make you feel uneasy. None of them are safe, none of them are in their element. This whole EPISODE is meant to make you feel uneasy. 

37. “The Molly scene was sexist and unnecessary.”

Okay, but like... of course it’s unnecessary. Murder Island is unnecessary. Unnecessary is a very subjective word. The whole point is that Eurus is psychotic and an ACTUAL psychopath who doesn’t understand the benefit of emotions or sentiment. She is analyzing Sherlock for his emotions. She is using people to experiment with his emotions. It’s awful. Molly will survive, her entire life will not be defined by this moment. AND if it is it will be for the best reason. She will finally move on or she will figure out who she is. I’m not saying that this scene was good, but in the worst situations come the best recoveries. To me she is not “throw away” and never was, and I disagree greatly with anyone that says that “this scene proved she is.” I think that Molly is inCREDIBLY strong. It’s like John said in TLD, Molly “see’s through [Sherlock’s] bullshit.” And I really feel like we see that in this scene. She isn’t weak. She is a woman in love, but she isn’t weak. She almost hangs up on him and tells him to stop making fun of her. That is a very brave thing to do. And then, the best part for me, she makes him tell her he loves her first. He must embarrass himself too. She won’t allow herself to be the sole prisoner of this game. THEN after he says it, she almost hangs up. Molly is a bad ass ok? This scene isn’t fun. But Molly is a great character. Just since season 1, she has proved time and time again that she survives and every time you think she’s been broken she comes back better. In that scene, Molly was crying and having a bad day so, I assumed that she had broken up with her fiancee Tom. I should have done some engagement ring analysis from the rest of the season, BUT in TFP she is definitely not wearing an engagement ring. So by this analysis this is honestly just an awful time for her and why she’s crying so much. And as to her still loving Sherlock, I still love people I shouldn’t and have never even been with and they have broken my heart. It’s just that until you find the right person, you’re in love with the person you were in love with before. She is not destined to be the girl that never gets over Sherlock Holmes, she just hasn’t found the right man yet. It is not sexist or anti-feminist to be in love with someone for a long time. Loo even tweeted that herself. The really important part about this scene is what it does to Sherlock. When Sherlock finds out that he did that to Molly for NOTHING? He breaks a fucking coffin. He is DEVASTATED. He hates that he has to embarrass her like that. Which is soooo different from Season 1 Sherlock who embarrassed Molly all the time without even realizing it. For me this scene is beautifully dark. After murder island Sherlock definitely came back and was like, “Molly I’m so so sorry. I thought your flat was going to explode and that was the code word.” And she would be like, “Oh. You’re a bastard, but okay.” Long live Molly Hooper.

38. “Why is Molly talking to her home screen?”

On smart phones this is actually completely possible. You can have a call and do a million things at one time. You can click the home button and still be on the call. I’m sorry, but this question is really lazy. This might have actually been a mistake while making the show, but even if it wasn’t like... we all know that it is possible to still be talking on the phone while your phone is on it’s home screen. Maybe she accidentally clicked the home button.

39. “How did Sherlock destroy a coffin without hurting himself?”

Because it was a cheap ass coffin. Couldn’t we all tell the second we saw it that it was a cheap ass coffin? It’s tiny and flimsy. He also, when he starts actually grabbing at pieces and destroying it, pretty clearly grabbed it by the fabric (so it was soft on his hands) and flung it around.

40. A big moment for me in this episode was watching Mycroft watch John and Sherlock, like anytime they did anything. He realized how crucial John was. Especially after Sherlock destroys the coffin, John just goes over and tells him he has to get it together and helps him up and Mycroft clearly analyzes this. And in the next scene he is calculatedly callous to help Sherlock decide to shoot him instead of John. Sherlock reads into it immediately. It made me cry. 

Sherlock: Even your Lady Bracknell was more convincing.

Mycroft: You said you liked my Lady Bracknell.

41. “It’s out of character that John didn’t react when Sherlock had a gun to his head.”

John trusts Sherlock and this was Sherlock taking control of the situation. This is what John knows. In that moment, EURUS actually starts freaking out and you realize that Sherlock is now in charge. I don’t know if John believed that Sherlock would actually end up shooting himself. I know Sherlock believed it; he was willing to die for Mycroft and John, but I think John was perhaps in shock, maybe also not wanting to startle a man with a gun to his chin, but I also firmly believe that he finally had some hope.

42. “How did she get them from Sherrinford to Musgrave so quickly?”

Who said it was quickly? We have to assume they were out for hours. It was daytime when they were at Sherrinford and it’s the middle of the night at Musgrave. Sherlock even asks the “little girl” how long he’s been gone and she says, “hours. Hours and hours.”

43. “John is a doctor. He should know what kind of bones they are.”

This comment actually makes me laugh really hard hahaha. Look, it’s pitch black so he can’t see, he’s wet so his sense of touch is off, and also it’s been .05 seconds. He’s a doctor identifying bones with no eyes, not an archeologist. Give him a minute. He gets it eventually.

44. “Why does Victor eat out of a dog’s bowl?”

He doesn’t. This comment also makes me laugh REALLY hard ahahhahah. Eurus put it there for dramatic effect. Holmes siblings can’t resist a flair for the dramatic.

45. “Sherlock’s reaction to John in the well is so ooc. Remember how he reacted when John was in the bonfire?”

Okay, these are two ENTIRELY different events and reactions for MANY reasons. In the bonfire incident, Sherlock had no reason to believe John was in danger before Mary received the texts. Sherlock was enjoying his chips (well, to a certain extent... “You’re suicidal. you’re allowed chips.”) when Mary interrupted his evening. In TFP, John and Sherlock have been tested throughout the entire episode, so Sherlock was bound to already assume that John was in some kind of cell or dark, dingy place when they awoke. In TEH, Sherlock and John were not on speaking terms at the moment and Sherlock hadn’t truly spent time with him in two years. The idea of losing him just like that was, imaginably, very rattling. It prompted the first “Oh my God,” that we have ever heard out of the mouth of Sherlock Holmes. We can assume it is unnerving for Sherlock to ever think of losing John, but in that moment he was just not even close to ready, okay? In TFP, Sherlock and John are back to normal. They shared that lovely, tender hug, released all of their tension and are now basically as good as new. Their banter in the beginning of the episode was very classic. Sherlock has nothing to prove to John right now in terms of his loyalty to him and their friendship. ALSO John in TEH was literally unconscious, underneath a soon-to-be blazing bonfire that was miles awake from Baker Street. The response time in terms of saving John’s life needed to be much quicker in TEH. In TFP, John is fully conscious and aware in a flooding well that’s on the property Sherlock is standing on. He is also chained to the bottom of this well. Sherlock has no idea where this well is and there is also a little girl who he believes is about to die. He knows John is a very capable man who, at least in this instance (unlike TEH), is conscious and vaguely able to try and fend for himself while Sherlock tries to not only save his life but a child’s. We see the same sort of heat and fear in Sherlock when he insists, “I AM FINDING YOU!” but it is just a different situation. John is not burning and he can try to survive a bit longer while Sherlock buys them time. These are the same married men in a different scenario.

46. “Okay but a CHILD? You wouldn’t stop looking for a CHILD!”

They probably didn’t! Remember, Mycroft has been lying to them! There was no dog and they definitely didn’t stop looking after a short amount of time. Remember Daddy & Mommy Holmes talking about how Eurus knew where Victor was? Well, that was them TRYING to find him. Trying to figure it out. Still searching for the body. If they they did stop looking, it’s only because they looked for so long. Child gone missing is a common report and many cases don’t get solved. And you also certainly don’t think to first look in a well because your son’s best friend’s sister just might have pushed him down there. 

47. After Sherlock solves the song’s puzzle he stands on the beach in his mind palace and young Eurus runs around him playing with a toy plane as she asks Sherlock to play with her. Maybe I was overstimulated the first time through, but I did not notice this. It gave me goose bumps.

48. “How could Sherlock forgive her? After she did all those things?”

Because he’s her brother. When he ran into the room after realizing who she is and says, “But I’m not a stranger am I? I’m your brother,” I instantly got emotional. Because in that moment it’s not about the psychopath, it’s about the terrified girl who never got to grow up or have a family. Eurus has been in a holding cell, alone, since she was a child. To me that is inhumane no matter how seemingly insane the child is. Children are children. She was never taught how to behave because she was never given a chance.  She’s a psychopath, but she craves love. Yes, people died because of her; she’s a villain. But, he’s Sherlock Holmes. She is his family and he’s going to save her. Sherlock understands what Mycroft didn’t. Like Daddy Holmes says, “Whatever she did. Whatever she became. She remains our daughter.” Family is family, man. There’s not much else too it.

49. “They saved John with a ROPE? HIS FEET ARE CHAINED.”

I originally agreed with this argument/plot hole until I realized... really, in what universe would a legitimate fire department or police department carry around a plain ass rope to save people with? They probably threw down the well’s rope (don’t wells usually have ropes to like pull up buckets of water?) to give John something to hold himself up and continue to “try as long as possible not to drown” (his feet weren’t chained right to the bottom. They had about a feet of chain on them) to give the rescue teams time to actually get down there and... rescue him. We didn’t see the rescue and John grabbed at the rope pretty anxiously (because he was dying), so we all just assumed that it was how he got out. But it’s also a pretty bad plan to pull a fully grown man (lol. even considering how short this man is) up a very deep, rough and stony edged well with a thin rope. So yeah... let’s not assume that he was saved with a rope just because that’s all we saw.

50. “You were always the grown up.”

There are some people complaining about this line and saying it is inconsistent. I actually find it completely consistent with a parent’s view of what a grown up is. A grown up is intelligent and emotional and able to make the correct decision. Yes, we see Mycroft taking care of a Sherlock’s most childish self a lot of the time, but when it comes to decision making, Sherlock has him beat by a lot. Sherlock is emotional and intelligent. He is able to make a more informed, adult decision. 

51. She just wanted to play with him. And now they’re doing violin duets together as she’s in solitary confinement. My heart swells.

52. The commentary on “Who you really are? It doesn’t matter.”

That quote itself, alone, is definitely not great. Who you are does matter. Always. But lets look at the context of the quote. “I know who you really are. A junky who solves crimes to get high. And the doctor who never came home from the war... Who you really are, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about the legend.” This quote is to say, you two, as individuals, are messes. But that doesn’t matter. Together you are one unstoppable legend. You are two halves of a whole. John Watson showed Sherlock where his heart is and if that’s not a love story...

Soo THAT’S IT. I hope you enjoyed...

@huglocked, @sherlock-addict 

[mechagalaxy]

Storm Warning

Bouncing Blue Brotherhood Intelligence Report 2290-Omicron Theta 7 Eyes Only BBB Distribution List: All Clan Leaders Classification: Top Secret

Recent analysis of the Cogwork briefings on the strength of the Pirate King forces indicated that past Clan War and Faction War defeats had left his networks unable to resupply and rearm enough to represent a threat to current force levels of the alliance.

Obviously the Clan Raid was a bit of a surprise, and the force levels of the Pirate King were greater than projected by an order of magnitude, both in number and quality of machines. Star League sources were able to extract a partial computer core from one of the larger machines. It turns out the Tower distributed computing networks are harder to wipe with existing wipe and purge protocols. One of the pirates, Harmonic Fisting, had been part of the Pirate Kings security detail and was present for a meeting that sheds some light on recent Pirate King activity.

[begin recovered record]

Pirate King: I want you guys to have your eyes out, heads on swivel. These government bozo’s have the kind of squeaky clean hands you only get if the bodies get buried good and deep. I have no intention of being swept under to bury anyone else’s dirty secrets.

Harmonic Fisting: What the hell are we meeting with these guys for? We have been playing Mammoth Jack and Duke Crimson’s backers off against each other so long neither side can trust any of their own people, but we haven’t got a damn thing on these guys. We have no idea what they want, and will have zero warning if they plan to do us dirty.

Pirate King: We got too clever last time, we made our move thinking no one could stop us, with Mammoth dweep and Duke dipwit having hammered themselves into scrap, and the Clans shot us to doll rags. We haven’t got the strength to take them out. These guys are offering. They just want Cogwork taken down.

Go silent, watch and listen. I don’t know how good their sensors are, I don’t want them picking up our chatter in case they can decode it later.

[unknown/hostile detected Class, Magnus. Shields live, weapons cold]

Pirate King: There is my guy, hang back here while I advance to the meeting

[unknown/hostile detection Class breakdown on tab A, total tonnage 3885]

Harmonic Fisting: Boss!

Pirate King; I see them, well, I didn’t come alone either. Don’t start nothin’, but if they move, shoot everything and get me out fast, you get me? Di di mau boys and girls.”

Unknown Magnus: Pirate scum, at least you are on time

Pirate King: Government errand boy, it pays to be punctual, it had better pay well too, or you will find this meeting harder to leave than to get to.

Unknown Magnus: Your threat would have been more convincing before your carefully horded forces got shot to scrap metal, and your pilots imprisoned or executed. Without outside assistance, you stand no chance of being able to exploit Mammoth Jack and Duke Crimson’s weakness.

Pirate King: And you care about my success because you esteem me so highly, what was it you called me, errand boy? Pirate Scum?

Unknown Magnus: You represent an opportunity to overthrow a system that has long been a thorn in our side. I will give you material support, empty our guardhouses of criminal scum who have enough experience to serve as your kind of pilots, and in return I only need you to carry out a series of small probing missions for us, and to establish a few discrete forward operating bases with access to your pirate gates.

Pirate King: So what, you can stab me in the back when I make my move? Government boy?

Unknown Magnus: Far from it. We wish you every success. Of course, in order to secure our future support in securing the core systems, and their local defense forces, we will require an adjustment of current borders, and enough material gains to justify the expense of our operations. After all, seventy percent of an empire is better than table scraps from its great houses.

Pirate King: Ok, it’s a deal. Here are the gate codes for our network. Your Special Forces can drop our goodies off on their way through. If I like what I see from you, I will show them where they can set up your bases. Double cross us, and even your best will have a hard time getting through our networks against us.

The Pirate King backed cautiously away from the meeting, before his bodyguard formed up and began to move away.

Harmonic Fisting: Who was that bozo, and what makes you think he can deliver?

Pirate King: That was Scipio Aemilianus, chief of the Illyrian General Staff, head of the Special Forces they Illyrians don’t have, head of the Intelligence Directory they officially don’t have, and guy behind all those raids the Illyrians had nothing to do with, and no nothing about. He does deniable crap at the highest level, and has been playing these kinds of games this long without ever getting caught. He can deliver. Now we just have to not be the next tool he discards when finished. That part of his record is awfully blank; not a lot of clue who he used before, and what happened to them.

[end recovered record]

The Unknown Magnus on scanner cannot be positively linked to Scipio, nor can the scrambled voiceprint be matched beyond a reasonable doubt. They do both, however, match his profile and performance on all measurable respects. Confidence is high that Illyrian is behind current unrest in Cogwork port. Be on the lookout for both increased pirate activity, and possible Illyrian Special Forces deniable assets working in border areas.

This does not constitute a war warning. Peacetime Rules of Engagement are in effect.

John T Mainer 28840

[brantleypollock]

On Moral Obligation

For centuries, humanity has wrestled with the idea of morality. Over the years, philosophers such as Plato, Aristotle, John Stuart Mill, John Rawls, Immanuel Kant, Friedrich Nietzsche, Bertrand Russell, David Hume, and William Lane Craig (among many others) have all attempted to give arguments for various moral theories. The purpose behind all of this seems to be an attempt at answering this question: “Should humans be moral?” Perhaps a better way of stating this would be as follows: “Does humanity have any sort of moral obligation? Are there things we ought to do and ought not to do?” It’s important to make this distinction initially because we are not talking about what would be beneficial, but rather, what we ought to do. There can certainly be acts that could be beneficial, but that does not mean that those acts are therefore morally binding – or that we are somehow morally obligated to do such an act. It seems to me that the only grounding for this moral obligation is found in a theistic worldview. That is to say, if God does not exist, then humans have no moral obligation. Theism is the only view in which humans have both a duty to be moral and things we ought to do.

In the early 19th century, philosophers such as Immanuel Kant and John Stuart Mill attempted to show that humans do have a moral obligation, but neither of them grounded such an obligation in God. Kant argued that morality is based upon eternal reason which exists both independently and necessarily, and Mill argued that morality is based upon the consequences of certain actions. For a time, these were the leading philosophical theories of morality. However, a few years later, the atheistic philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche essentially dismantled both of these ideas at their core. Nietzsche is perhaps most famous for declaring the “death of God”, which is obviously metaphorical in nature. Nietzsche did not actually believe that God had died because he believed that God never existed in the first place. In any case, by declaring the death of God, Nietzsche was able to convincingly argue for nihilism – which is a view that essentially removes objective meaning, truth, and purpose from life itself. In his work, On The Genealogy of Morality, Nietzsche dismantles (and invites us to do the same) our preconceived notions of what is considered right, wrong, good, and evil by showing how the very definitions of those words have changed over time. For example, he alludes to Mill’s theory of “usefulness” by showing that “usefulness” itself has had many different iterations over the years. Formerly viewed as mostly “aristocratic”, usefulness is now more following the “herd instinct” mentality. He says, “On the contrary, it is only with a decline of aristocratic value judgments that this whole antithesis between ‘egois- tic’ and ‘unegoistic’ forces itself more and more on man’s conscience, – it is, to use my language, the herd instinct which, with that, finally gets its word in (and makes words).”[1] By the same token, Nietzsche was able to refute Kant’s theory of morality by showing that there is nothing, on a naturalistic basis, that can ground any sort of moral truth because, as history shows us, it is all subjective. Nietzsche’s point with all this is to show that our views of morality stem from our own personal convictions and biases, which means that they cannot be binding in the slightest because nothing can be considered truly “good” or truly “evil”.

If we grant Nietzsche his initial statement, “God is dead”, then we have no basis to argue with his conclusions because it is clear that, without God, there really is no objective, binding truth whatsoever, and therefore – no moral obligation. If our moral compass has been tuned based on our evolution as a species, then it seems to me that we aren’t ever doing anything that could truly be considered “good”, but rather, what is useful to our own species. To continue with the compass analogy, if God does not exist, our moral compass lacks the magnetic pull of “true north”, and it becomes eerily similar to Jack Sparrow’s compass in Pirates of the Caribbean – it just points to what we want most. Bertrand Russell, another atheist philosopher who was prominent in the 20th century, says this, “Ethics arises from the pressure of the community on the individual. Man . . . does not always instinctively feel the desires which are useful to his herd. The herd, being anxious that the individual should act in its interests, has invented various devices for causing the individual’s interest to be in harmony with that of the herd. One of these is [government, one is law and custom, and one is] morality.”[2] What Russell is essentially saying here is that morality has been invented by humanity in order to preserve their species. If this is true, and the preservation of humanity can look different based on perspective (which, historically, it has), how can this morality ever be binding?

As I say, if God does not exist, then humanity has no moral obligation and there is nothing that we ought to do or ought not to do. As we have just seen, philosophers such as Nietzsche and Russell would agree with that. Certainly actions can be beneficial to the “herd mentality” or whatever else is deemed as “useful” in the centuries to come, but nothing can be considered morally binding and somehow become obligatory for humanity. However, when we consider the reality of where this logic leads us, we find ourselves in a very dark, unsettling place. The result of this logic is quite gruesome. If Nietzsche is correct, and life is void of ultimate meaning, purpose, and objective truth, then things such as rape and murder can only be considered an inconvenience to the victims. Without God, there is no objective moral law to say otherwise. Dr. William Lane Craig says this, “Or consider the nature of moral obligation. What makes certain actions right or wrong for us? What or who imposes moral duties upon us? Why is it that we ought to do certain things and ought not to do other things? Where does this 'ought' come from? Traditionally, our moral obligations were thought to be laid upon us by God's moral commands. But if we deny God's existence, then it is difficult to make sense of moral duty or right and wrong.” [3] Moreover, without God, there is nothing that gives human beings true value and meaning, and therefore it follows that ending an innocent human life prematurely is a perfectly acceptable choice to make. It might not be “useful” to the person whose life has just been taken, but it certainly could be “useful” to the one who is taking the life. This is where the logic of philosophers like Nietzsche and Russell takes you.

Alternatively, theism offers a view in which human life is inherently valuable and full of meaning, and it offers sufficient grounds for an objective moral standard. If we do not grant Nietzsche his initial statement, “God is dead”, it becomes very easy to show that humans do, in fact, have a moral obligation. If theism is true, and God exists, then at some point in the past, God made the decision to create the universe and everything in it. As the creator and sustainer of all life, God not only has the right to instill value in his creation, but also possesses the ultimate standard of objective morality, which creates the moral law that humans are obliged to follow. Christian theism, in particular, says that God has created humanity with a purpose, and has instilled in them inherent value which cannot be taken away from them by another human. If this is true, then it follows that we are morally obliged to treat others in a way that lines up with God’s moral commands – we ought not murder, we ought not steal, we ought not rape. Rather, we ought to treat each other like the valuable creations that we are.

In conclusion, when we deny atheism, we find a much clearer path to moral obligation. Certainly, simply denying atheism does not get you all the way to the Christian theism I have just spoken of – that is something that will need to be explored. However, the purpose was not to show Christian theism to be true, but rather to show that theism is the only viable view if one is wanting to provide good grounds for moral obligation. Alternatively, if one accepts Nietzsche’s statement, “God is dead”, there is no escaping the meaninglessness of life and the absence of any sort of absolute truth, and as a result, humanity has no moral obligation whatsoever.

[1] Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm, et al. “'On the Genealogy of Morality' and Other Writings.” 'On the Genealogy of Morality' and Other Writings, Cambridge University Press, 2016, pp. 12–12.

[2] Russell, Bertrand. Human Society in Ethics and Politics. Routledge, 2016. Chapter 10.

[3] Craig, William Lane. “The Indispensability of Theological Meta-Ethical Foundations for Morality.” Reasonable Faith, www.reasonablefaith.org/writings/scholarly-writings/the-existence-of-god/the-indispensability-of-theological-meta-ethical-foundations-for-morality/