#obviously big difference between sex and gender

[aspiringnexu]

Star Trek but there's an alien species that's only just met humans and they meet someone who's genderfluid and then someone who's transgender and are absolutely convinced that all humans are capable of shifting sexes at will.

[fairyysoup]

his hands

pairing(s): hairdresser!eddie munson x fem!reader

summary: How do you make getting a haircut an erotic experience? You have Eddie Munson as your hairdresser, of course.

cw: explicit, smut, unprotected piv sex, mirror sex, workplace sex, hand kink, choking, dumbification, dom!eddie, touch-starved!reader, semi-sort-of subspace happenings, referring to genitals with gendered pronouns, slight body worship, getting weirdly horny over a head massage, sexual tension, negative self talk, hair cut/style mentioned but no description of hair color/type, the aftercare is the haircut lol, implied 90s au, eddie's like 30, reader's age unspecified, eddie is employee of the month in my heart, not proofread, no beta we die like men

a/n: this is weird. and came from an interesting experience i had at the hair salon. and yes that is corpse's hand in that pic i didn't want to spend all day looking for a header pic shut up shut up shut up

ALL MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI

Your hands twitch on the copy of Elle magazine in your lap. The familiar waiting area of your local salon has new furniture, which still smells a bit like the cellophane it came wrapped in, and hasn’t been worn out by patrons just yet. You’d asked for your usual stylist, Melissa. Except, you haven’t been here in so long, and apparently Melissa doesn’t work here anymore. 

“We have a new stylist in her place,” the greeter at the front desk told you kindly. “I could fit you in if you’d like that same station?” 

The station doesn’t matter to you; they all look the same and have the same tools. Obviously, when it comes to getting your hair cut, the stylist makes the difference. But, since you’re a couple months too late to catch up with Melissa, a new stylist is who you’ll be working with. 

The PA still plays some sort of weird pop-rock fusion that mixes Nat King Cole with Billy Idol, but you just try to focus on it to keep your leg from bouncing. You always get anxious like this when you come in for an appointment, even though you always tell yourself the same thing. It’s just hair. If you don’t like it, it’ll grow back. Or, if worst comes to worst, you could always shave it.

You hear your name being called, and you look up to the person who’d just approached the waiting area around the partition that blocks off the styling area. You blink, your mind going fuzzy as you try to make sense of what you see.

“Looks like I’ll be cutting your hair today,” the man standing at the end of the row of chairs says, with a grin that puts boyish dimples on his cheeks. “I’m Eddie.”

Eddie the Hairdresser is a bit more than you can handle right now. Between his long, curly hair, and the shirt he wears that gives you a view of the tattoos crawling up his arms, you think your knees might already be made out of jelly as you try to stand. But then he sticks out his hand for you to shake, and he’s wearing big, chunky rings that glint in the light, and you think you might swoon like a Victorian damsel.

“I’m, uh–” you begin intelligently, as you fit your hand into his big one. He squeezes just the tiniest bit and smirks at you. “I– I’m trying to, uh–”

“First time?” Eddie asks you with a tilt of his head. His brown eyes crease at the edges with mirth.

“Oh, um, no,” you mutter, looking everywhere but at his dimples. He has a tattoo on his neck of a dragon. You stare at it for a moment too long. “I used to come and see Melissa, forever ago.” 

“Oh! Yeah, Melissa was great. She trained me,” Eddie starts jabbering as he tilts his head and leads you around the partition. You’re met with the smell of hairspray and the sound of blow dryers getting louder. “She’s a hard act to follow, but I hope I can do well enough. Let’s get you started with a wash, hm?” 

You smile as he winks at you conspiratorially. You always feel a little bit awkward as you sit in the chair for the wash sinks, but Eddie ushers you into it with a little wave of his hand and gently– more gently than you can remember even Melissa being– lifts the ends of your hair and places a soft towel around your shoulders.

“What kept you away all this time?” Eddie asks pleasantly as he tests the water temperature. “Melissa’s been gone for a while.”

“Yeah, I, uh, I was working a lot,” you stumble into an explanation, your cheeks heating up a bit. It’s hard not to feel like you need to repent for not coming in to get a trim every month. “Last time I came in, I got my hair cut really short, so it wasn’t like I needed to come in for a trim for a long time, and by the time I really needed one it was long enough that I could do it myself… so, I just kept doing that.”

“So, what are we doing today?” Eddie inquires as his fingertips brush along your temples to tuck your hair back behind your ears and into the wash basin. With gentle prompting, he tilts your head back into the bin and begins to wet the ends of your hair.

“I figured it’s time I go short again,” you tell him, more confident than you really feel about it. It was a split second decision, one that you made because the reflection in the mirror was looking back at you with such a dead expression that you decided you needed a change in a bad way. For a lighter note, you supplement, “I’m tired of brushing tangles out of my hair every morning, and the other day I had a whole bird’s nest at the back of my neck, y’know.”

“Pssh, I know all about tangles. You saw my hair,” Eddie chuckles as the lukewarm water touches your scalp. Goosebumps rise on your arms while he rambles on, “I have to comb my hair wet or else I look like I got electrocuted. I never used to care about that sort of thing before I went to school for this, but once you start learning about proper treatment it’s kind of hard to ignore. I used to wash my hair with bar soap. Dry as hell, no conditioner. I’m surprised I got it long to begin with.” 

You find yourself smiling just thinking about it. “Bar soap? With those curls?”

“Don’t tell anyone, my reputation will be ruined,” Eddie leans down and whispers to you while he reaches for a bottle of shampoo. You hear a crack of a bottle cap, and then his hands are in your hair again, working the sweet smelling soap into your roots. “I’m trying to get employee of the month, but they’re never gonna give it to me if they know I used to sabotage my own hair with Irish Spring.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” you tell him sweetly, but you’re barely paying attention to his words anymore. His fingers are pressing into areas on your head that haven’t had a proper massage in forever, and months of tension headaches are being brought to the forefront of your mind. 

You never consider how oddly intimate having someone wash your hair is until you’re in the thick of it. Eddie’s thumbs massage circles into your occipitals with just a perfect amount of pressure, and the muscles down the back of your neck slowly melt and relax, moving with the swell of his fingertips. You suddenly feel very relaxed and very sleepy, and your eyelids drift closed as Eddie’s thumbs trace the line of your skull up to your hairline.

It even takes a moment for you to tune into the fact that he’s humming. Under his breath, he’s singing along to the notes of the song on the PA. He’s doing it in such a way that you’re sure he’s not even aware of it, himself, and you’d comment on it if you weren’t afraid that you’d embarrass him. His fingers are massaging circles around your temples now, and while you’re trying to focus on the sound of him harmonizing with the music, your mind is again trying to distract you with the feeling developing at the base of your spine. A ticklish, warm feeling spreads between your hips, disrupting the lull you find yourself in and forcing you to blink your eyes open. 

Oh, no. We’re not doing that right now.

You can’t say you’re surprised that this is your response. His hands are all over your head and you haven’t been touched by anyone in… well, a very long time, to say the least. You’re probably a little starved for it, all things considered. But this is really the wrong time and place to be getting turned on by a guy’s touch.

You shift in your seat, trying not to be too obvious about it when Eddie pulls his hands away and begins rinsing your hair again. Crossing your legs would be a dead giveaway, but the warm feeling is turning into a subtle throb between your legs, and Eddie’s hands are back on your head, now gently combing the conditioner through the length of your hair as though he’s petting you.

After a few torturous minutes of trying to ignore the blooming arousal deep in your gut, Eddie cuts the water and wraps your hair in the towel to secure it. 

“Now comes the hard part,” Eddie says, probably not meaning to make it sound so suggestive, but your mind seems to be taking its sweet time loitering in the gutter. 

You stare dazedly up at the ceiling. Now is the hard part?

Eddie leads you to what used to be Melissa’s station, and swings the swivel chair around for you with a flourish. “Step into my office, sweetheart. I’ll get you all dressed up in a sexy robe and everything.” 

You stifle a giggle as you slide into the seat. His “office” is one table in a row of other tables, and two feet away an older woman is getting her hair bleached by a girl with an undercut. As Eddie spins you around, the stylist shoots him a look. 

“He’s a shameless flirt,” she tells you, making eye contact with you in the mirror. Eddie lays a smock across your front and buttons it at the back of your neck.

“I’ll have you know, I’ve been minding my manners very well,” Eddie huffs with feigned indignation as he unwraps your hair and tosses the towel onto the table in front of you. He still winks at you in the mirror when he leans around you to pick up a comb. “So far.”

You can’t help the way that your jaw clenches. He’s really not going to make this easy on you. You wonder if he knows where your mind has been for the last ten minutes.

Eddie moves around to the back of your chair and presses on a lever to raise it up, but nothing happens. 

“Dammit,” Eddie curses under his breath, and turns to his coworker, who’s still loading tinfoil into the woman’s hair until she looks like something from Close Encounters. “I can’t believe you gave me the crap chair.”

“Early birds get the good chairs,” the stylist replies. 

Eddie sighs and turns back to you, and finds you looking at him curiously in the mirror. “This is the only broken chair in the whole salon, and everyone hates it, so it tends to move around. You never know if you’ll get the crap chair.”

“That’s sabotage,” you giggle.

“I know! So I have to bend down to style you, I’m sorry.”

“I think I can handle it.” You watch him give you a look in the mirror that makes you shift in your seat again. 

“So,” he begins, looking down at your head as he begins detangling your hair. “We’re going short?”

“That’s the plan,” you say with a puff of your chest. Please, god, don’t let it be horrible. 

“How short?” he prompts, eyeing you in the mirror. “Shoulder length? Close cropped?”

You reach up a slightly shaky hand and pinch the length that you want between two fingers. “Here’s good.”

Eddie nods, looking somewhat pleased. “Are we doing layers?”

“Yeah, I think layers would be good for the long term.” 

“Gives you more flexibility,” he agrees. He picks up a pair of scissors and begins measuring out the length that you want. “I’ll start with the length and then we’ll move to bangs, all right?” 

“That… sounds good.” You’re temporarily discombobulated by Eddie taking the sides of your head and tilting your head down just the slightest bit. 

“Stay just like that for me, okay?” he says quietly.

You blink down at the table in front of you, feeling your mouth go dry. “No problem.” Your hands nervously twitch beneath the cover of the smock across your body.

He goes back to humming along with the music on the PA, and you don’t have the heart to interrupt him. You’re trying to focus on anything but the nerves in your system and the way his touch keeps making you want to jump out of your seat.

After a moment, he stops humming and dusts a bit of hair off of your shoulder. “There we go. Good girl.” 

You blink up at Eddie in the mirror, and then see the transformation from long hair to short on your head. 

“How does it feel?” Eddie asks, leaning down to pinch the ends of the front and measure the evenness of the length. You stare at his fingers, and the tattoo of a bat just above his thumb on his left hand.

“Ten pounds lighter,” you joke. It feels like you’ve swallowed a lump of hot coal, but he doesn’t need to know that. Eddie grins, and his dimples make a glorious reappearance. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he murmurs, and again positions your head where he wants it, staring directly forward. “Honestly, even if you wanted to stop here, it would suit you. I don’t think there’s a way to make you look bad, sweetheart.”

“You’ve never seen me with a hangover,” you scoff, trying to ignore how your heart skips a beat. 

Eddie smirks at you in the mirror while he starts working on giving your hair layers. “My guess is that you still look just as cute, but with a bit more of a grumpy look around here.” He gestures to your brow with one finger, and reaches over to set aside the texturizing scissors. 

“So, what I’m hearing is, you think I’m cute?” you say, still trying to play up the confidence that you don’t really have. Your hand squeezes your thigh under the smock you wear, your nails digging in for purchase.

“No, I think you’re gorgeous,” Eddie says swiftly, like it’s just a matter of fact. “But, I think you’d also be cute when you’re hungover. Plus, with this hair, you’d probably look all unkempt and I love the mental image that’s creating.”

His hands fluff the layers that he’s put into your hair, ruffling them gently and carding his fingers through them to measure their length. You’re sure that he’s not aware of the moon-eyed look you’re giving him in the mirror. 

Except, then he moves around you to start working on your bangs, and the smirk that comes across his face when he looks down at yours is enough to make you lose your composure. He knows everything that’s going on in your head, you’re sure of it. 

Cocky bastard.  

“I like your tattoos,” you murmur, just loud enough for him to hear over the music and the sounds of blow dryers all around you. He’s face to face with you, so close that you can count the freckles on his pale face.

Eddie’s eyes light up. “Yeah? What about ‘em?” 

“Well,” you lick your lips, your eyes flicking down to the one on his neck, and the one peeking out of his collar. “They’re colorful, and they look like you put a lot of thought into picking out each one. They’re pretty.”

“Hmm. You flatter me,” he remarks, trying to hide his grin and failing. If you look closely, there’s just the slightest pink tint to his cheeks that wasn’t there before. He finishes trimming your bangs, and just before he stands up, he chucks you lightly under the chin. “Keep it up and you might get a freebie.”

A free what? You’re imagining he means some sort of a free hair wash or something, but you can’t keep your mind from going to unprecedented places. 

“All right. Bear with me, I’m gonna blow dry you now.” He turns your chair away from the mirror to get you a bit closer to the blow dryer, and for a few minutes, there’s a lull in the conversation. 

Then, all at once, the blow dryer shuts off, and Eddie leans down towards you. “Ready, sweetheart?”

“Eddie, you’re gonna make me nervous.”

“Well, we don’t want that.” You just barely turn your head to look at him; just enough that your noses barely brush. You steal a breath that comes from his mouth, and then, Eddie turns you to the mirror. “Like I said,” he murmurs, “There’s not a way to make you look bad.”

“Holy shit,” you breathe. And holy shit is right– he’s done a complete number on you. Your hair is voluminous, framing your face in a way that you haven’t seen it before.  

“What do you think?” he asks, and for a moment, you think it’s a rhetorical question.

“I think you’re way better than Melissa,” you tell him, once you realize that it’s not rhetorical and he’s really asking you what you think. You’re sure that he’d make adjustments if you needed, but you don’t need him to. He’s read you like a book. He’s made you look better than you could ever have hoped for. 

“I’m gonna need that in writing,” he tells you, with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen. “For employee of the month, and all.”

“Tell me where to sign.”

He jerks his head, and all at once the fog lifts. You follow him to the front desk like a lost puppy, feeling like you don’t actually want to leave. You want to sit in his chair while he cuts your hair until you have none left. You want to keep his attention on you and stare at his smile, his hair, his eyes, his tattoos, for the rest of time. 

“I look forward to next time, princess,” he tells you, but you’re hyperfocused on the touch of his hand to your lower back. 

You watch him telling something to the girl at the front desk, his hand wrapped around the edge of the table and distracting you for the umpteenth time. You watch his silver rings glint in the light, and you think about them weaving through your hair; you think about his fingers and how they’d feel on places besides your head.

“So, when did you want to schedule an appointment?” 

You blink a few times, and in a dazed glow you come back to where you are. At the front desk. Paying for your haircut. “Sorry, what?” 

“The… next appointment? For your trim?” The secretary tilts her head, smiling at you kindly. “When did you want to come in?”

“Oh,” you murmur, looking down at the keyboard that she’s typing on. Eddie has disappeared back around the partition with a sweet smile and a wave cast in your direction. You just want him to come back again. “What would you suggest? Y’know, for this kind of a cut?”

“Hmm,” the girl hums, and sizes you up. Not in a way that makes you doubt yourself, but in a way that tells you she’s taking your question seriously. “Probably about four weeks. See if the length is something you’re happy with?” 

“Great. Four weeks from now. With Eddie.” You peer down at the rack of business cards on the deck, and pick up the one farthest to the right. 

Eddie Munson, Stylist. Set an appointment today!

By four weeks, your hair has already reached your shoulders, and the ease of maintenance is starting to wear off. When you get a call reminding you about your appointment with Eddie, your head reels with the knowledge that you’ll see him again.

You calmly assert to yourself that this time, there will be no mooning over him. He’s just your hairdresser. You figure he just has a job to do, tips to earn, and so on. You don’t know if he’s available, you don’t know if he’s single or if he even likes you the way that you like him. You don’t know anything about him, really.

False. You know that he used to wash his hair with bar soap.

You snicker to yourself as you sit in the waiting area yet again. The only available slot for him today was 6:30; pretty close to closing time, but for a Wednesday you figured it was best for you to come late, since you’d have time to get yourself together after work.

You’ve never been in the salon so late. It’s getting dark outside, and the overhead lights cast a semi-yellow glow around the waiting area. Business is dying down now. Not as many people love the idea of getting their hair cut so late, you suppose, but it was either this or wait another week to get an appointment with Eddie, and with the rate that your hair is growing, you’d probably be going insane by then.

“Hey, you,” Eddie says, popping his head around the partition with a grin that makes you nearly melt in your seat. His curly hair hangs in a curtain out in midair, and his long neck stretches out for you to take a gander at. “Just couldn’t stay away, huh?”

You smile at him. “Well, you’re the only person I trust with my head.”

What the fuck did you just say?

Eddie smirks, glowing pink around the ears. “I’ll keep that in mind, princess. Let me clean up my station real quick and I’ll getcha goin’, all right?”

You swallow back the lump in your throat. “Yeah, sure, no worries.”

When Eddie disappears again, you slide down in your seat and clap your hand across your eyes. You’re sort of glad that nobody was in the waiting room to see that ridiculous exchange, but you still have to sit with your embarrassment while Eddie cuts your hair. Again.

There will be no pining. There will be no getting weirdly turned on by him washing your hair. Nope, not happening this time.

This time, when Eddie ushers you back behind the partition, there’s only one two other stylists who are there cleaning their stations. The PA has been turned way down, so you can barely register what it’s playing at all.

“You actually came at a good time,” Eddie tells you as you trail after him toward the wash station. “You’re the last person for the night, so I can really take my time with you.”

“O-oh.. really?” You beat back your perverted thoughts with a stick. “To do what?”

“Oh, y’know,” Eddie shrugs as he lays a towel around your shoulders again, just as gentle as he was the last time. “We could do something totally crazy. Who knows what’ll happen?”

His voice is animated, pleasantly filling the empty space where your thoughts might become too much if you let them wander. 

Over the past month, after you’d recovered from your last meeting with Eddie, and as you were preparing for this one, you came up with a few things that you could ask him about– just to keep your mind from going to places you didn’t want them to. To save yourself the embarrassment and the ordeal of having to play whack-a-mole with your libido, and all. 

“Did you get employee of the month?” you begin with.

Eddie laughs, and then sighs. “No, our manicurist got it. I’ll get it this time, I just gotta stay on my A-game.” His blunt nails rake your hair away from your forehead and temples, and a lukewarm stream of water hits the crown of your skull.

You nearly want to jump out of your skin at the feeling. “Was it because they gave you the crap chair too many times?”

“Probably. But I got here early today, so the good news is you don’t have to sit in the crap chair this time.” 

“Aww, I kind of liked the crap chair. Kept me grounded.” You hear him huff a laugh as he starts lathering shampoo through your hair. Trying to keep your mind running so you don’t focus too hard on how good his rings feel scraping against your scalp, you ask, “How’d you get into this line of work?”

“Honestly, it’s kind of a weird story,” Eddie starts, beginning to massage his fingertips into your skull in a way that makes your toes curl in your shoes. You tighten your hands on the arms of your chair and take a deep breath. “So, it took me three tries to graduate high school, right? I was terrible at it. And, y’know, I figured I’d only end up working in a garage or something for the rest of my life. But I was cutting my mane all on my own, and eventually I started cutting my friends’ hair too, because they were all in college and it’s cheaper than going to a salon. I mean–” he chuckles, and begins rinsing your hair– “believe me. I know all about it. And it just came to me really easily, ‘cause I used to be great at drawing and crafting and stuff. And it’s kind of the same thing– once you learn the medium, it’s smooth sailing from there.”

The salon has gone eerily quiet, and by the time Eddie wraps your head and sits you up, you realize that the other stylists have gone, and you and Eddie are the last people in the building. You’d be a little nervous about it, but you got Eddie on a roll, and honestly, he makes it so easy to listen to him.

“Anyways, one day my friend Robin says to me, ‘You should totally get your credential for this,’ and I said, ‘You have to go to school for this shit?’” You blow a raspberry of a laugh, no longer feeling anxious as he sits you down on his not-crap styling chair. He drapes a smock over you, and cracks a grin at you in the mirror. “I know! So, I’ve never been great at school, and I can’t afford to pay for beauty school tuition on the pay I was making at the time, so my friends… they pooled together some money to at least pay for my first semester. And then– get this– I got on the fucking Dean’s list.”

“No way.”

“I did! Yours truly!” He does a little bow, and while you’re still giggling, he begins detangling your hair. “So, I got grants. And I finished top of my class, because as it turns out, when you don’t hate what you’re studying it’s really easy to do well. I got my certification framed and everything. Show that to my damn high school principal.” He shakes his head, but the smile is still on his face when he says, “But now I just have to get that fucking employee of the month.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” you offer, admiring his face in the mirror again without even realizing you’re doing it. You love seeing him grin, showing off his dimples and the smile lines around his eyes.

“Oh, you know,” he shrugs with a cute scrunch of his nose. “Just make sure you write my boss a letter saying how fantastic and amazing I am and how there’s no other hair stylist like me and how you’ll never find anyone as cool and sexy anywhere else. Something subtle like that oughta do it.” 

“Shouldn’t be difficult,” you tell him smoothly. “I already had that one drafted.”

He chuckles, his eyes sparkling when he reaches for his scissors, but you still notice the faint blush on his cheeks that he tries to hide behind his curtain of hair. “Flattery. You know what that gets you with me.”

A freebie. You hear his voice echoing in your head, and you swallow past the dryness in your throat. “Like… what? A mohawk?”

“Would you want a mohawk?” he asks you, pausing his movements to peer at you. “Because that’d be metal as hell, I’d be so down.” 

You laugh. “I appreciate it, but I think… probably not today.”

Eddie hums, and returns to smoothing your hair back away from your face. “So we’re just doing the same as last time?” 

“Yeah, not too flashy.” 

“Gotcha. It’s a shame, though. I’m always up for a challenge.” 

“Well, I think that short hair is just easier to maintain,” you tell him, at a loss for what else to say. He glances up at you in the mirror, and locks eyes with you. “And it doesn’t make my neck look as stumpy as it is.”

Eddie tilts his head with a confused pout, and then he reaches down and wraps his hands loosely around your throat. Your breath stalls in your chest, your eyes focused on the sight of his hands on you, his thumbs gently stroking the nape of your neck and his ring clad fingers pressed just below your chin. His fingers link and hold you, creating a necklace that you’ll never be able to find anywhere else.

Oh, shit. Oh, fucking hell. Everything below your waist draws up tight and hard, your thighs clamping together like that’s going to somehow will away the hold that Eddie has on you.

You lift your eyes and find his in the mirror, dark and focused in on you. You hold each others’ gaze for a prolonged moment, not saying anything, you barely even daring to breathe. You can’t imagine what the expression on your face looks like. You’re too busy staring at the one on his– like there are a million thoughts running through his head, and you’re desperate to know every single one of them.

“Nah, I think you’re perfect.” And just like that, Eddie moves on like nothing happened, picking up his scissors again. Like he didn’t just fry your brain. Like you’re not halfway to cardiac arrest.

You’re dumbstruck as he starts trimming the ends of your hair. You told yourself there would be no mooning over him. No pining. But here, you are, turned on beyond belief, and having to deal with the heartbeat pulsing between your legs, and not shift around, because you don’t want to fuck him up. 

When he pinches the ends of the front to see if they’re level, you’re staring directly at him in the mirror. Not even trying to hide it, either. If you did try, you’d most certainly fail. Eddie frowns in concentration, a bit of a crease to his brow as he peers at his hands.

Eddie tuts. “I’m trying to figure out– is it–?” He grabs the back of your chair, and suddenly you’re being swiveled around to face him. “Sometimes these mirrors don’t even help a guy out at the worst goddamn times…”

Your breathing is way heavier than it needs to be. Is it hot in here? Did they crank up the heat in this place specifically to spite you? Eddie’s face is so close to yours, and you’re not sure if the fact that you aren’t in the crap chair is helping. You’re higher up now, and he doesn’t have to bend down as far to get level with you, and his eyes are the color of dark chocolate, and you–

Eddie’s hand comes up and snips the tip off the right side. “There we go. One side was all fucked.”

“Well, we don’t want anything getting fucked, do we?” you mutter under your breath. What’s left of it.

Eddie pauses and his eyes flick up to yours. His eyelashes are long and flutter as he holds your gaze again, while you try hard not to look away. There’s that unreadable expression on his face from earlier, morphing slowly into something like amusement, but that could also just be your mind playing tricks on you. Don’t look at his lips. Don’t look at his lips. Don’t look at his li–

“Screw it.” Eddie tosses his scissors to the ground and his hands come up to grip your face, smoothing your hair back tenderly before he kisses you. 

You open your mouth and Eddie is in it, searching, feeling. His hands hold your head firm and you feel the metal of his rings digging into your cheeks, and you’re splitting apart at the seams from the way he’s completely invading your senses. He smells like warm, spicy cologne and hairspray. He tastes like cigarettes and cherry coke. He moans into you, and the sound is like heaven. 

You lift your legs and wrap them around his waist, and he grunts before he pulls away just the tiniest bit to give you breathing room. 

“This is highly unprofessional, Mr. Munson,” you whisper to him, as if you don’t have him caged in with your thighs.

“I don’t… actually fucking care,” Eddie admits, his nose just nudging against yours. “Got so fuckin’ hard the minute I saw you. What am I gonna do with you, huh?”

“Dunno,” you murmur against his mouth, “I’m waiting for you to tell me.” 

“C’mere.” He pulls you out of your seat, and you practically trip over the smock he clipped around your neck. 

“Get me out of this thing,” you giggle, letting your forehead fall onto his shoulder. You inhale a deep breath of his cologne, feeling his chest shake with his laugh. 

“Aww, but you look so cute,” Eddie coos, but his hands come up to undo the button at the back of your neck. The fabric slides to the ground, and Eddie kicks it aside as he crowds you back against the table. Your ass hits the edge of it and your hand falls onto a comb when you try to steady yourself. He pulls you flush to his body, his hands caging you in. Eddie’s tongue dances over your bottom lip and you moan, lifting your hands to tangle in the fabric of his shirt.

He ducks his head to help you pull his shirt off before he tosses it somewhere to the side. You’re distracted by his tattoos, each one of them beautiful and detailed, standing out against his pale skin.

Then, you remember something that he told you earlier, and you connect some dots that you hadn’t even realized were there. “Did you draw these?” 

Eddie’s grin could blind the sun. He blushes pink down his neck and shoulders. “Yeah, I did.” 

“They’re gorgeous. I meant what I said before– I really like them.” 

He sucks in a deep breath, and then his lips are on you, everywhere they can manage. On your face, your neck, trying to get at your collarbone but your shirt is in the way. He fists it in his hands, making a petulant noise in the back of his throat. “Help me out here, sweetheart.”

Your shirt lands somewhere near his. You don’t see exactly where, because he’s pulling the straps of your bra down your shoulders so that he can mouth kisses across your breasts, pulling down on the cups until he can graze his teeth over your nipple. It takes you so off guard that you bite back a squeal, tugging at his hair and rubbing your thighs together to stave off the incessant throbbing between them.

When you look down at him, his eyes are so dark that they’re almost black. Your heart thuds erratically in your chest, your breath not coming even though you gasp and pull at the air with everything you have. You can’t really fathom why he has you so worked up– just that it’s been so long since anyone touched you like this, and now that you have it it’s like every little point of contact is on fire.

Eddie grazes his teeth across your breast, and your knees nearly buckle out from under you. You grab his face, guiding him back up to you. 

“What were you thinking when you grabbed my throat?” you ask him, your voice hoarse in the back of your throat. 

His hands are on you now, grabbing at your waist and hips, squeezing like he’ll never let go. “I can show you, if you want,” Eddie answers, and he sounds just as wrecked as you. Maybe more. 

There’s absolutely no way you’re going to refuse that. Not with the way you’ve been lusting after him since meeting him. You nod. “Eddie, please–”

He kisses you hard again before mumbling against your lips, “Turn around and take off your pants.”

You do what he asks without a second’s hesitation. You watch him in the mirror as he follows your movements, undoing his own belt, and you kick your jeans and underwear off without thinking about why you’re here, without wondering about the repercussions. You figure you can probably do that later.

Right now, Eddie’s smoothing his hand up your spine, and the feeling of his fingers dancing along your skin sends shivers through your body. His fingers weave through the hair at the nape of your neck, and he pulls just slightly, until you bare your neck. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. Your heart hammers as you watch him, dark eyes and hair and rosy cheeks in the mirror, his carnation colored lips twisting into a wicked grin at you. He kisses your shoulder so gently it’s like the fluttering of a feather. 

“‘Stumpy neck,’” Eddie scoffs under his breath, and you tremble. “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”

He bends you forward until you’re face to face with yourself in the mirror– but you’re looking at him, gazing into your eyes while he teases himself at your entrance.

“Oh my god,” you groan, dropping your head almost immediately at the feeling. Your head is spinning, your body rigid with anticipation and breaking out in a cool sweat already. 

“Mm-mm,” Eddie hums condescendingly, and a hand clamps around your throat, hoisting your head up again. A gasp tears from your lips. In the mirror, his eyes are blazing. “You look at me while I fuck you. That’s the only way this is gonna happen. Got it?”

You nod. You want to shrink away from the heat in his gaze, but you want him to fuck you way more than that. You shudder as he leans forward, pressing in until his chin nearly rests on your shoulder.

“I need to hear you say it, baby.” His thumb strokes lightly along your pulse point, and you make a soft noise in the back of your throat without thinking. “Tell me you understand.” 

“I understand,” you tell him, barely a whisper, but he hears it all the same. 

“Good girl.” 

Eddie grins, kisses the nape of your neck, and pulls back. When he does, you’re barely able to take a breath before he pushes his hard cock into you, and the noise you make is almost embarrassing in its volume. 

“Ohhh, you’re absolutely soaked, baby. She’s practically dripping– is this just for me?” Eddie murmurs in your ear, grinding his hips up against your ass for emphasis. The lewd noise that it makes has your toes curling and the tips of your ears burning.

“Fuck,” you moan, ginding back against him to push him deeper. He’s so thick and you’re so sensitive that your mind is completely blanking at the feeling. 

Eddie notices, and he chuckles as grabs your waist with one hand as he thrusts his hips forward. “I’ve barely gotten my cock in you, princess. Don’t go getting all dumb on me already.” His voice goes straight between your legs and your cunt pulses around him, making him hiss through his teeth. The hand on your throat tightens just slightly. “I asked you a question.”

You keen, your mind reeling as you search for words. You manage to nod, babbling out, “Yes, it’s– it’s all for you, Eddie, been wanting you so bad, s’all I can think about–”

Eddie coos, grabbing your chin to shut you up while a particularly hard thrust of his hips knocks the wind out of you. He turns his head and grazes his lips against your cheek, eyeing you in the mirror as he says, “I knew it.” 

Your eyes are on him, on his hand around your neck, on his rings pressed into your skin. All that your fucked-out mind can think is that it’s hot, and you like him and his strong hands and his pretty eyes and the way his cock is reaching places inside you that make thoughts really difficult to come by.

Eddie whispers something against your skin, and you miss it because you’re hooked on the way his eyelashes flutter for just a moment while his lips are pressed against your cheek. You lift your hand, until it rests over his against your throat, his fingers just barely laced with yours. 

“Again,” you say– it comes out like a command, but you mean it like a question. You don’t know what the fuck he just said. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he repeats, and his voice nearly cracks with the desperation in it. His sweat slick chest is pressed against your back, his thrusts rocking your hips into the table and jostling it into the wall, but his voice is so tender. “So perfect for me.” 

Your mouth falls open, your hand tightening on his. You pull, until he loosens his grip and his hand comes away with yours. You kiss his palm, then his fingertips, holding his gaze in the mirror as you slowly, gently swirl your tongue around his middle and forefinger. 

Eddie’s eyes narrow coyly at you, while his thrusts make you mewl and clutch at the table with your free hand. You suck his two fingers deep into your mouth, earning a pleased groan from him in your ear– a sound which you want to hear again and again, no matter what it takes. 

“Look at you, sweet little thing, gettin’ my fingers all wet like that,” he whispers to you, biting his lip as you grind back against him. “Wanna do something with ‘em?”

You moan, letting his fingers slide from your mouth with a wet pop. You guide his hand down your chest, down your stomach, until his fingers slide between your legs. 

“There you go,” Eddie coos, taking over from your guidance as his fingers start rubbing small circles against your clit. “Atta girl, showin’ me what you want. Just needed me to fuck you stupid first, hm?”

Your cunt pulses, and you cum with a loud moan that echoes off of the mirror in front of you and around the empty space. Eddie cries out, and you feel his warmth fill you as he cums. He slows until he stills inside you, and then he holds you, panting against your cheek, his arm wrapped around your middle and his hand on your throat.

You haven’t moved your hand away from his, you realize, after a few moments of bliss in the aftershocks. You drop your hand to the table with a thud, earning a soft, breathless chuckle from him. 

“Can I take you out to dinner?” Eddie asks you, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

“I think you can do whatever you want with me,” you murmur dazedly, just barely shifting and making him hiss. He’s still inside you, trying to hold you steady while he calms himself down. 

“Good.” There’s a kiss to your cheek, and Eddie grunts as he slowly eases out of you. “I still need to finish your goddamn haircut.”

“Eddie, we’re naked.” 

“And?” His hands are moving quicker than your mind is, yanking a kleenex from the table so that he can bend down and wipe the insides of your thighs. You jump at the sudden touch, but he clamps a hand around your hip to hold you still. “The sooner I finish your hair, the sooner I close up, and the sooner we go get dinner. You like Italian?”

“I didn’t think your pillow talk would involve finishing my haircut,” you grumble, but there’s a smile worming it’s way onto your face even as you say it. 

“That’s the name of the game, sweetheart,” Eddie says, tossing the tissue into the trash. He picks up your underwear, and the smock from the floor. “Now, sit your cute ass down. I’m not gonna get employee of the month by dishing out orgasms and not bangs, y’know.”

[azareel-writes]

sub!demon brothers/reader headcanons ♡

chara. by appearance: mammon, leviathan, asmodeus, beelzebub, satan, belphegor, lucifer ft. afab!MC / afab!reader ♡ no gendered terms used for reader except "mommy" ♡ 18+ under the cut

nightbringer has reawakened my love for obey me! when i first started OM, one of my things was deducing what demons brothers are subs and now i know my answer is all of them. might expand on this later!!

mammon: mommy kink. it's canon, trust me. mams is so down bad for his mommy. a service sub w bratty tendencies but his dick always wins the battle between continuing to be difficult or being obedient and cumming. loves when you pull him by the hair no matter the context. to get his attention? yes. making out? obviously. forcing him to look at you while he's on his knees? the dumb baby might cum in his pants.

leviathan: two ways to deal with our lovely snake boi. first, degrade him. make fun of him for being a dumb virgin, spank him, bite him. humiliate him by stripping him completely but keeping most of your clothes on. or second, praise him. treat him so gently like one of his priceless figurines. kiss him all over before you lay a finger on his cock. reward him for staying. levi isn't used to affection but that can be solved by handcuffing him so he can't cover up his pretty body. by degrading him or being super loving, you're being sooooo mean to him it's not fair :((((

beelzebub: praise kink and i refuse to relent in this. for the love of everything holy and infernal, someone praise this boy. do i have to make the argument for oral? he's ecstatic to have you ride his face and will do so for hours if you let him. a well behaved boy - the best of his brothers - with a ton of stamina! loves the size difference between you two. you're a human and so small and so fragile compared to him. but you can make his brain go all fuzzy and make him feel small. your soothing presence brings him to his knees, eager and ready to please.

asmodeus: he's not the avatar of lust for nothing! will switch things up on you whenever he feels like it, just to keep you on your toes! sometimes he's a power bottom, sometimes he's the eager service sub. into some light kitten play! just an excuse for asmo to dress up for you. (though you might want to get him out of it quickly~) cat ears, pretty lingerie, thigh-highs and garterbelts, a tail plug to match... or maybe a classic bunny suit? low cut corset suit with a tail, fishnets, heels, and always ready to serve you.

satan: size queen. anything goes until he safewords. relatively well behaved - he is more impatient than bratty. his chest is super sensitive, he's never walking away without hickies. doesn't say it but he likes it slow. running a hand through his hair, kissing all over his face. he wants to feel like he's yours and yours alone. subspace really calms him down. outside of sex, he curls up to you, staying glued to you. he will get quiet or nonverbal but don't worry! he's in a good mood, so let him lay in your lap and dote on him a little.

belphegor: brat. big big brat. the type of brat that needs to be broken. edge him into oblivion then force him to cum over and over again — that is what the little brat wanted, now he's begging you to stop? maybe he's learned his lesson, but he loves pushing your buttons too much to kick the habit. can only manage to stay up 3–4 minutes after; he believes the post-sex sleep is amazing when he's sore and satisfied. loves to lay on your chest while you rub his back and play with his hair. 

lucifer: experienced doms only: hard mode!! everything is discussed beforehand with a very detailed contract - kinks, limits, curiosities. calls you master in bed. loves when you use your pact on him (consensually). pretty obedient boy, as are the terms of your contract. big shibari fan. imagine having the avatar of pride tied up in red ropes like a present looking up at you. that sight alone will make you feel like the strongest being in all three realms.

[kiestrokes]

Omg so I can't stop thinking about high sex with ateez like ive been so insatiably horny everything I've smoked or had an edible I just AHHH i just want dick so bad

Stoned Sex with ATEEZ | NSFW

Pairing: ATEEZ x Reader/You/Yn (vagina pov) Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. Genre: headcanon, imagine, smut. Warnings: cannabis use (obviously), in theory both parties are high, so it is mutual, everyone is consenting, established relationship vibes.

Sexually Explicit Content: mentions of subspace, morning sex, rough sex, deep sex, feral (idk at this point just proceed with caution if you're just a vanilla person), rough touches, kissing, biting, cockwarming, oral (f receiving), humping, thigh fucking, surprise orgasm, orgasms.

🗝️ Note: let me know if I missed anything for the warnings, I am not really here in the realm of proof reading. Sorry, this took me a while to get to my atiny anon, hope it's enough to hold you over until you make it to a dick appt!

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted here. 

Park Seonghwa Hwa appears unassuming, the two of you go through the usual nightly routine but once he's got you in the bed things shift. He's a needy cat, pawing across your body, you fit snug against his hips as he rocks softly into you from behind, moaning about how soft and plush your skin is when he's like this. He doesn't want to be inside you, just nestled between your thighs from behind as his slim fingers play your clit like an instrument, stroking moans out of your body with each pluck.

Kim Hongjoong High Joong gives me feral vibes...HJ is usually so reserved. But something about the THC sends his brain into overdrive. Hongjoong can't keep his mouth off of you. It's everywhere, until it's finally exactly where you need. Between your thighs. He's rocking his hips restlessly into the end of the mattress at each squirm and thrust of you pelvis against his chin.

Jeong Yunho He is probably the most aware while high, the only thing is his grip is a little stronger than normal. Yunho basically wants to embed himself in your body. For his hands to become one with your thighs. You wake up with lovely handprints in the morning reminding you of him.

Kang Yeosang I feel like stoned sex with Yeo is going to be soft, like how Hwa talks about him being cute drunk. He's whiney and very vocally appreciative of you and your body. It's slow and maybe a little intense, missionary with you rolling on top. Yeo loses it when you press him down into the bed. He dissolves a little into subspace when he's high.

Choi San guys (non-gendered) I am so sorry but THIS man, he falls asleep before anything can actually happen. He sleepily stokes your fire, but you're left finishing the job yourself. Sorry to my San biases, I wish I felt different about this one too. He's just a sleepy man. Definitely wakes you up in the morning for some slowww, drawn out sex. He's intense from how he gazes at you to the lingering pace at which he fucks you.

Song Mingi High Mings becomes big and pliable. He's also whiney and vocal like Yeosang, but a little less articulate. Mingi wants to spoon you, which quickly escalates into something else. His hands are all over you, drifting across your body. Crushing you into his lap as he tries to bury himself in you, deeper and deeper with each thrust. The two of you fall asleep with him still inside (rip you with that uti later).

Jung Wooyoung Feral like his hyung...this guy. He can’t get enough of anything. His skin feels like it’s on fire. He wants to be melted to you. Your lips, tongue, it’s drawn-out sex because he doesn’t want it to end. You're overstimulated in the best way possible; every nerve ending is firing.

Choi Jongho Is giggly. I can just FEEL it. Jongho is laughing but also giving you that intense gaze and each touch is purposeful. You're so keyed up from the laughter and foreplay that your giddiness spills over into a quick and extreme orgasm that takes you both by surprise. Jongho has never come so quickly, and you sure as hell never have.

© COPYRIGHT 2023 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

[kindersurprisebacterium]

Mister (Ghost/Reader)

CW: DILF Ghost, age gap, best friend's father, cunilingus, fingering, vaginal sex, overstimulation (kinda), alcohol use, reader is in college

Gender Neutral AFAB Reader

WC: 3.2k

On the corner of a caul-du-sac sat a cookie-cutter house. The front was adorned with terracotta brick walls. Nearly trimmed hedges and flower beds lined the driveway. It was suburbia. Different from the campus housing I was used to downtown. 

I was hesitant to come here. Sleepovers seemed…juvenile. But Audrey and I seemed to get along well, even after knowing each other for only two weeks. So I packed up a night’s worth of clothes and some toiletries and met her in the corridor after lecture. 

Her neighborhood was only fifteen minutes outside of the city. The speakers shook the car. Wind whipped through my hair as we sped down the highway. 

I felt odd being here, needless to say. Maybe it had to do with the fact that her dad would be home. I stepped out of her lifted truck, pulling my bag behind me. Her carabiner clinked as she unlocked the front door. I watched as she stepped inside and kicked off her shoes before following behind. 

“My rooms upstairs. You can put all your bags there.” Audrey said, pointing to the staircase. 

“Cool. You gotta show me that poster you were talking about” I grinned. She’d already started up the stairs. The hardwood creaked beneath my feet as I followed her. 

“I was in line for like…three hours? They cut the line of right after me.”

We turned down a corridor filled with picture frames. My eyes skimmed across each one. School pictures, beach trips, vacations abroad, and family photos that were obviously taken in a JC Penny. I jumped when my eyes met a pair of glaring brown irises. 

A man stood before me, leaning in the doorway of an office. Silver curls sat atop his head. Faded scars, years old by now, adorned his pale face. He had a stern look on his face, a look that was somewhere between apathy and annoyance. Maybe that was just his face. 

His arms, covered in intricate black ink, crossed over his broad chest. Even through a thick sweatshirt, I could tell he was well-built. My jaw clenched tightly as the man eyed me. 

“Oh dad, this is my friend from anthropology I was telling you about. They’re staying over tonight,” Audrey spoke up, gesturing to me with her painted nails. 

“Nice to meet you Mr. Riley,” I said, extending my hand. 

“Simon.” He gripped my hand and shook it with a jarring strength. His palms were big enough to nearly engulf my hand. He let go, sliding his hand into his pocket. I turned to face Audrey. She pulled me into her room, closing the door behind the both of us. 

She pulled a framed poster from the wall and held it out for me to see. In the bottom right corner in silver sharpie was a swirling signature from the lead singer of a metal band. 

“Isn’t it so cool?!”

I couldn’t focus on the movie, or the bottle of beer in my hand. My mind kept going back to Simon. I don’t know what it was about him. Maybe it was the way he looked at me as if I was nothing. Maybe it was his grip on my hand. Or his gruff voice.

I felt…embarrassed? I haven’t felt this way about someone since middle school. My mind kept replaying that moment in his head. The way he said his own name. The way his arms flexed when he crossed them over his chest. 

These scattered thoughts flooded my mind for hours. I couldn’t sleep. I glanced back at Audrey, who was out like a light with a puddle of drool on her pillow. Gritting my teeth, I slowly moved off of the mattress. My eyes stayed locked on her sleeping frame, looking for any sign of movement. Nothing. Sighing, I stepped out of the room. Maybe another drink would quell the thoughts. 

I crept down the hallway, walking on my toes. A beam of light caught my eye as I rounded the corner. The kitchen light was on. The steps whined beneath my weight as I descended. Brown eyes locked onto me. 

Simon sat at the kitchen island. His right hand was on his computer mouse, the other resting under his chin. He closed his laptop.

My skin felt hot as his eyes ran up and down my body. I tugged at the hem of my shorts, now acutely aware of how they rode up my thighs. 

“You’re up late,” he muttered. 

“I uh, couldn’t sleep,” I said with a smile that was a little too forced. I stepped into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge, jumping when I heard his chair moving from behind me. My fingers wrapped around the neck of another bottle. As I closed the fridge door, a head of grey hair appeared from behind it. 

He was closer now, leaning on the kitchen island with a glass in hand. 

“Anthropology…” he mumbled, “why’d you choose that?”

“It’s a part of my psychology course,” I explained as I twisted the top off of the bottle. I held the cap in my hand as I took a swig. The amber liquid made my throat tingle as I swallowed. This was more than I’d drank in a while, but I needed it if I wanted to deal with the man in front of me, the man who was slowly stepping closer. 

I could feel my heart in my ears as he approached the fridge. His arm bumped into me as he set his cup underneath the water fountain. Out of the corner of his eyes, he stared at me. My face felt hot. I pursed my lips, looking away hoping he wouldn’t see my flushed face. 

I heard his throat squelch as he swallowed, not daring to look. He sighed and reached his arm across me. The glass clinked as he set it in the sink. I was waiting for him to pull back, give me room to breathe, but he didn’t budge. My eyes traced up his inked arm, to his face. His eyes were fixated on me, staring through me. I felt naked under his gaze. 

“You’re shaking.” He placed a hand on my waist. If anything, his touch made it worse. My entire body was quivering. Whether from nerves or anticipation, I couldn’t tell. He stepped forward, close enough that his thighs brushed against my hip. 

“You’re shaking,” he repeated. His fingertips grazed my chin, gently tilting my head up to look at him. 

“I know.” My voice was barely a whisper. The corner of his lips curled up into a smirk. He was getting a kick out of this, and somehow that made it even hotter. 

“You nervous?” He asked. It didn’t seem like a question if he already knew the answer. His eyes flicked between my lips, and my eyes. Every time his eyes met mine, I could feel it in my stomach.

“I-” I couldn’t get the words out. His lips were on mine. The warmth of his kiss slowly melted away the tension in my muscles. By the time his hands were on my hips, I was putty in his grasp. I hooked my arms around his neck, pulling him down so I didn’t have to stand on my toes. His fingers slid into the waistband of my shorts. 

“Wait, I don’t want to wake Audrey,” I pushed my hands against his chest, breaking the kiss. 

“So we go to my room.” His tongue slid up my neck. The tips of his fingers grazed along my hipbones but didn’t date to go another inch forward. 

“But-”

“When’s the last time you’ve had a good fuck,” he asked, speaking against my neck. He punctuated his words with a kiss along my carotid. My lips pursed. I could feel my hands clench into fists. I knew I shouldn’t be doing this. Audrey was the first friend I’d made all year, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. The throbbing in my core drew my attention. Every inch of my body craved his touch. My head was spinning with desire. My breath grew shallower, quicker, as lust swept over me in full force. I couldn’t take it. There was just something about him. I needed to feel him. 

“Please don’t tell her,” I begged. My fingers latched onto the collar of his sweatshirt. He pulled back, just to see the look on my face. My lips were parted, eyes half lidded, and I’m sure the blush on my cheeks had deepened to a red. 

“I wouldn’t dare.” He picked me up by my waist and slung me over his shoulder. His palm rested on the small of my back, while his other arm hooked around the back of my legs. Simon approached the stairs, giving my thighs a squeeze as he ascended. He turned right down the hallway. My eyes locked onto Audrey’s door. I could feel my jaw clenching. Should I really be doing this?

The bedroom door clicked shut behind us. My back met the plush bedding. The mattress creaked underneath my weight. Simon pulled his shirt over his head. His muscles were defined, illuminated by the soft lighting. Thickened scar tissue dotted his body like ivy on an old wall. I couldn’t help but feel intimidated as he crawled on the bed. 

He sat between my legs. His fingers idly stroked my inner thighs. His stubble scratched the skin of my neck as he leaned in. He pressed kisses to my neck, traveling up to my jaw. 

“Can I take these off?” He asked, tugging at the hem of my shorts. My stomach fluttered. 

“Yeah,” I spoke softly. He slipped his fingers beneath the waistband and began tugging, jolting my body as he pulled them down my hips. I felt my face heat up as his gaze locked onto my cunt. He swiped his index finger through the wetness pooling in my core. The tip of his finger brushed against my clit. A whine caught in my throat. 

“I just know you’re not gonna be good for me.” He moved to lie on his stomach. His sharp canines pierced the skin of my thighs. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip to quell the onslaught of moans. 

His thumb circled my clit. The movements were slow at first. His eyes locked onto my cunt, almost as if he was waiting for something. I bucked my hips into his hand, and then he stopped. I whined, pouting my lip.

Warm, wet licks against my skin diminished my protests. His hips rutted against the bed as he slowly ate me out. My brows furrowed as his tongue flicked against my clit in sharp movements. Fingertips circled around my entrance before slowly sliding in. He moaned against my cunt. I clamped my hand over my mouth in an attempt to muffle the cry that rose from my chest. 

Simon differed from anyone I’d slept with before. Foreplay was never a big part of my escapades, it was always straight to penetration. There was something about a man between my legs, moaning against my cunt, and looking up at me with pleading eyes that made my body heat up. 

Every movement of his was deliberate, from the way his fingers curled up ever so slightly with every thrust, to the way his palm rested on my stomach. It was as if he’d cast a spell on my limbs. My toes curled, fingers digging into the sheets. Each thought in my head slowly disappeared, replaced with the feeling of his tongue on my clit. I felt hot and sticky. Beads of sweat rolled down my chest. I gripped my shirt and pulled it from my body. 

His hand slid up my stomach until reaching my chest. He gripped my nipple between his index and thumb. My back arched off of the bed. His gaze seemed transfixed on me, soaking in my every reaction with those brown eyes. 

I tossed my head against the pillows. My stomach tensed as each flick of his tongue drew me further into bliss. His lips wrapped around my clit, sucking gently. My hand flew to his head, pulling his hair tight. A throbbing pain settled in my face as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. My muscles went taut as I came on his tongue. 

He pulled away, skin slick with my wetness. His fingers kept slowly pumping inside of me. He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine. I could taste myself on his skin. A whine swelled from within my throat. He slid another finger inside me, thrusting alongside the others.

“Simon,” I said against his lips. 

“Gotta make sure you can take me, love,” he groaned.

The nickname made my heart flutter in a way it shouldn’t. As the haze that clouded my head faded, I became acutely aware of what I was doing. I was fucking my friend’s dad. 

“You’re so tense. Come on, open up for me.” I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or my cunt. My breath hitched when his mouth lowered to my chest. He gently bit down on my nipple, laughing at the way it made me squirm. His brows furrowed as he sucked my skin into his mouth. 

With a soft pop, he pulled off of my nipple, only to dive back in. He sunk his teeth into my skin. I clenched around his fingers, earning a groan from him. His thumb brushed against my sensitive clit. My voice contorted as the overstimulation made my head swim. 

“Fuck, there you go,” He spoke against my skin. “Such a pretty cunt.”

His words pushed me over the edge. I gushed around his fingers. My thighs quivered and clamped down around his hand. I took in heaving breaths as he worked me through my orgasm. I stared down at the man with half-lidded eyes. He smirked, watching my expression as I slowly came down from my high. 

The bed shifted as he moved. His grey hair vanished from my peripherals. The drawer to his nightstand slid open with a low rumble. I didn’t bother to turn my head. 

When he settled back onto the bed, his jeans were gone. My eyes skimmed down his nude body, settling on his cock, which was now resting on my stomach.

He was right. It was big. The heat that radiated off of his skin drew my thoughts into more perverted places. The head of his cock was flushed and leaking. A single silver barbell protruded from the head of his cock. He lifted my hips and slid a pillow underneath me. 

“You on the pill?” He asked, popping open the cap to a bottle of lube. 

“Yes.” I watched him slide the lube over his cock. 

“Good, cause I don’t have any condoms.”

He pushed one of my knees to my chest. His hand guided his cock to my entrance. With his eyes locked onto me, he slowly pushed inside of me. It burned, almost felt stabbing. I clenched my jaw and gripped his wrist. His hips halted. 

“You okay?” His thumb gently stroked my knee with a tenderness that drew my attention away from the pain. 

“It hurts,” I said through my teeth. 

“We can stop-”

“Please keep going,” I interrupted. He stared at me with wide eyes. With a nod, he pushed forward. 

The stabbing pain faded into a more manageable cramping pain. I felt undeniably full. He let go of my leg, instead moving to my stomach to gently stroke my skin. He whispered praises as he sunk deeper inside me. My brows knit as he bottomed out. His hips stilled, eyes fixated on my cunt. 

“That’s it, bein’ so good for me.” He groaned. I clenched around his cock, earning a grunt from his heaving chest. 

“Simon, please move,” I crossed my ankles behind his back. 

He shifted his weight onto his hands, placing them on either side of my head. 

“Since you asked so nicely…”

He began thrusting his hips into me at a steady pace. Every jolt of his hips made the mattress squeal beneath us. The sound of our skin slapping echoed throughout the room. He was rough and forceful, bullying his cock deeper into me. 

His moans were deep and gravely. Every little noise that came out of him sounded like music. I hooked my arms around the back of his neck, pulling him down to my level. His lips clashed against mine, tongue licking against my bottom lip. I parted my lips for him. A moan slipped from me as he slid his tongue into my mouth. 

Tears welled in my eyes as the stimulation grew. I wanted more, needed more of him. I bit down on his lip and pulled back, tugging his skin. Something changed in him then. He pulled away and gripped onto the headboard, using the leverage to thrust harder into me. His eyes screwed shut. I could feel him twitch from inside me. 

I Clenched around his cock, stomach tensing as my third orgasm rapidly approached. He gripped my chin between his fingers.

“Fuck, you gonna cum?” He asked with his plush lips parted. 

My response was an incoherent mess of words and a frantic nod. His thumb went to my clit. He rubbed tight circles into my skin, encouraging me to cum, begging even. I knew he wouldn’t last long with the way his thrusts grew erratic. 

With a snap of his hips, I came on his cock, squeezing around him. He grunted, stilling inside me as he came. A stream of moans rose from my throat.

My body felt tingly like tv static as every nerve in my body fired. I felt overstimulated, hot, and sore. I whined as he pulled out. The bed shook as he collapsed onto his side. 

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and held the screen out to me. It was a “new contact” page. I smirked as I put my number in under the contact labeled “Derek”

“Derek…who are you gonna tell them I am when that name pops up on your screen?” I asked, swinging my leg over his hips.

“Old coworker.” He said with a laugh. 

“Old coworker with bomb pussy?” I raised my eyebrows and pouted, scanning his face for a reaction. He smiled and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. 

“Audrey’s going on vacation with her mom in a couple weeks. Why don’t you come over then?” He ran his hand along my back. 

“I’d love to, but speaking of which, I need to get back.” I sat up, grabbing my shorts from the foot of the bed. 

I threw my clothes on and hastily tossed my sweat soaked hair into an updo. My fingers grasped the doorknob, gently pulling it open. I waved at Simon before slipping into the hall. As the door closed behind me I sighed.

My brain replayed every minute of our interaction over and over again. The way he touched me with care, got off on eating me out, and checked in on me. What seemed to be basic decency was something I’d been lacking. My stomach fluttered as I thought of seeing him in a couple of weeks. I didn’t regret this, in fact I wanted more of this. 

What did I get myself into.

Masterlist

[sophie-hatter-jenkins]

New Writing!

Ginny Weasley character study written for @ladiesofhpfest Character Chic. I'm really pleased with this one!

Body positivity is a social movement that promotes a positive view of all bodies, regardless of size, shape, skin tone, gender, and physical abilities. Proponents focus on the appreciation of the functionality and health of the human body instead of its physiological appearance. Eight lessons that Ginny Weasley learns about her body, and her changing relationship with it, throughout her life.

HUGE thanks go to two wonderful writers for their help:

Firstly @fizzyginfizz who beta read this for me and was so supportive and had so many brilliant suggestions, really building my confidence in this piece - thank you for everything!

Secondly, to @whinlatter, who has written several fantastic Ginny metas that I found super helpful when I was thinking through how to approach this piece.

They both have fabulous Ginny-POV WIPs, (Quidditch is for Losers and Beasts respectively), which you should go and read NOW if you haven’t done so already!

Rated M for language, mature themes and discussion/depiction of sex

9k words

Snippet below the cut

The Weasley family, as was apparent to anyone who cared to notice, came in two very different varieties

Some of them were really-Weasleys, like their Dad - tall, lanky, all hands and feet. Bill was a really-Weasley, as were Percy and Ron. The others were really-Prewetts, like their Mum. Charlie and the twins were really-Prewetts. Really-Prewetts were shorter and stockier, and just generally much more compact, as though the same amount of person was somehow compressed into a much smaller body.

Ginny didn’t really give much thought to the distinction between really-Weasleys and really-Prewetts when she was a child. Obviously she knew that some of her brothers were tall and thin, and some of them were… not. Equally obviously, she knew that her Mum was also… not. So yes, she knew - of course she knew. It’s just that she never really considered it in relation to her . Though to be fair, Ginny was very much on the small side, even before it became clear which side of the family she would take after, so perhaps the signs were there had she cared to notice.

Eleven year old Ginny was, quite frankly, absolutely tiny, just a little dot of a thing really. She felt so small and so intimidated as she huddled in the corner of her train carriage on her way to school for the very first time. Ron had promised to look after her on the journey, but he wasn’t there, and neither was Harry (lovely, lovely Harry), and Ginny didn’t know why. Instead, she made herself even smaller (which wasn’t hard, cocooned as she was in her hand-me-down robes, so large she could have used them as a tent), hoping that no one would notice her as she scribbled messages in her diary to her new friend Tom. She told him how tiny she felt, lonely and afraid and scared by this new world around her. Everyone else seemed so big and so confident, swishing their wands with abandon. Ginny already felt anything but; overlooked and overwhelmed, shrinking further by the second. 

Continue reading on AO3

[hawkinsmafia]

𝔼𝕕𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕄𝕦𝕟𝕤𝕠𝕟: 𝔽𝕝𝕦𝕗𝕗 𝔸𝕝𝕡𝕙𝕒𝕓𝕖𝕥

day 04 : Eddie

featuring Eddie Munson x reader (no assumed gender)

rating: general

cw: two minor, non-graphic mentions of sex; one brief mention of recreational marijuana use

wc: 1.6k

an: this is my first time doing one of these, and I was reminded of filling out those massively long surveys your friends would all email around in the 90s. I miss those. this was written for @corrodedcoffinfest!

𝔸𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕖𝕤 :: How does Eddie spend free time with his partner?

⟢ Eddie is the king of parallel play. Just being in the same room is enough to please him, even if you’re both absorbed in different activities. You’re lounging on the couch with a book while Eddie is noodling around with his guitar, or he’s at the table working on his campaign notes while you’re writing up a grocery list.

𝔹𝕖𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕪 :: What does Eddie admire about his partner?

⟢ I won’t lie, one of his criteria in a partner is how well you fit into his rockstar aesthetic. If you look like you’re ready to pose beside him on the cover of Rolling Stone, that’s a huge boon.

ℂ𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥 :: How does Eddie help his partner when they’re struggling?

⟢ Eddie’s love language is acts of service, so when you’re having a rough time, he’s insisting you take the night off and let him make dinner—and it’s probably just boxed macaroni and cheese and maybe a can of green beans if he thinks about it, but he makes it with so much love. Then afterward, if you’re amenable, he’d break out his private stash and pack a bowl for you.

𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕖 :: What is Eddie’s first date with his partner like?

⟢ A disaster. He had big ideas of impressing you, but it was one of those nights where nothing went as he planned. He wanted to take you to an open mic night and wow you with his musical prowess, but the performance list was already full when you arrived. At a loss for a last-minute substitution, you wound up going to the Hawkins High carnival, where he was harassed by the popular crowd, he couldn’t manage to win a single game to get you a prize, and he nearly choked to death on his corn dog (then coughed so hard he almost puked). To top it all off, he was pulled over by a cop while driving you home, and the familiarity the cop had with Eddie clearly announced that he had regular run-ins with them. And to this day, Eddie has absolutely no idea why you invited him inside when he finally got you home, or asked to see him again tomorrow for a do-over.

𝔼𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕝 :: Is Eddie more dominant or submissive in his relationship?

⟢ Eddie is a very easy switch. He can and will take either role depending on his mood and yours, and can switch from one to the other with a moment’s notice.

𝔽𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 :: What is it like when Eddie and his partner argue?

⟢ Honestly, Eddie doesn’t argue with you very often. He struggles with feelings of inadequacy and fears the day you’ll wake up and realize he’s a worthless, white trash loser, and he’s afraid of driving you to that realization early. Much more common between you are the more playful, low stakes disagreements, like which dresser drawer to put socks and underwear in (the top one, obviously) or whether peanut butter belongs in the fridge or not (no). These ‘arguments’ are usually settled with a dice roll.

𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕥𝕦𝕕𝕖 :: Does Eddie acknowledge how much his partner does for him?

⟢ Oh god, yes. See above for those feelings of inadequacy, he is grateful as hell that you gave a freak a chance and somehow found him worthwhile, at least for now.

ℍ𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕪 :: Does Eddie keep secrets from his partner or does he share everything?

⟢ Eddie couldn’t keep anything from you to save his life. He tells you everything, and everyone knows that if they tell Eddie something, they’re really telling the both of you because he’ll tell you immediately.

𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 :: Has Eddie’s partner inspired him to grow or change in any way?

⟢ Your presence in his life has made him more focused and given him more drive. His rockstar dreams were just a farfetched fantasy that he toyed with before, daydreams of a better life, but now with you in the picture, he craves that success to be more than make-believe.

𝕁𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕪 :: How does Eddie handle jealousy in his relationship?

⟢ Eddie doesn’t fall victim to jealousy all that often. Those occasions when he does feel it flare up, though, it’s because he saw someone else flirting with you, and his response is to go over there and slip an arm around you, maybe give you a slightly-too-deep kiss, and remind the other person that you’re already spoken for.

𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕤 :: Is Eddie a good kisser?

⟢ He’s not too bad! He doesn’t have a whole lot of experience when you first get together—there haven’t been many people in Hawkins willing to take a chance on a Munson—but he does have some natural talent, and he’s a quick learner with practice.

𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕗𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟 :: How does Eddie confess his love to his partner?

⟢ In song. He stresses out for a while over how to get to the next level with you, and he finally decides that since music is his forte, he’ll write you a song and perform it for you.

𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕒𝕘𝕖 :: Would Eddie want to marry his partner?

⟢ Eddie would be one of those guys who proposes to his partner and then stalls in the engaged phase for years, putting off the actual marriage. It’s not that he doesn’t want to marry you (he does!), but he’s worried (perhaps subconsciously) about tying himself to you and becoming a weight that holds you back, ruining your life by making you a Munson.

ℕ𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 :: What does Eddie call his partner?

⟢ Princess, sweetheart, baby, babe. If he’s in a goofy mood, he’ll call you ‘my liege’ (often with a deep bow and a thick accent).

𝕆𝕟 ℂ𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕕 ℕ𝕚𝕟𝕖 :: What is Eddie like when he’s in love?

⟢ Oh god, I hate to say this, but I think he’s that guy who kind of slowly starts drifting away from his friends in favor of spending time with his partner instead, at least for a while, and it causes tension between you and them. When he starts cancelling Hellfire at the last minute and not showing up to band rehearsal, the others start getting angry with him.

ℙ𝔻𝔸 :: Does Eddie openly share affection with his partner, or is he more private?

⟢ This man would fuck you in the hallway at school if you asked him to. Once you’ve made it clear that you aren’t afraid of everyone knowing you’re with him, he can be downright obnoxious with his affection. You’re the couple making out in the hall during class change, causing a traffic jam. You’re the couple who gets caught in closets and bathrooms at every party. More than once, Wayne has had to clear his throat rather loudly to remind Eddie that he’s still in the room.

ℚ𝕦𝕚𝕣𝕜 :: What’s a random action Eddie performs for his partner?

⟢ He learns your routine and makes a point to ask if you want a ride to work today before you even say anything, or he’s already waiting for you outside your classes so he can walk with you to your next one.

ℝ𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 :: How romantic is Eddie?

⟢ Very romantic. He’s making you new mix tapes weekly. Whenever he stops for gas, he always comes back to the van with your favorite snack without being asked. (He may have taken the five-finger discount, but it’s the thought that counts!) He holds doors open for you with a sweeping bow. He makes a big production of giving you a pin off his battle vest or one of his rings.

𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 :: How does Eddie help his partner achieve their goals?

⟢ You have never heard a pep talk until Eddie gives you one. He is a stalwart and unwavering pillar of support, and no one believes in you as much as Eddie believes in you.

𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕝𝕝 :: Does Eddie like to experiment and try new things, or does he prefer familiarity?

⟢ Eddie is always down to try something new, especially if it’s something you’re interested in. Whether it’s a new movie in a genre he doesn’t gravitate toward, or heading into the city to try a new restaurant cuisine that’s caught your attention, or a new bedroom activity, Eddie’s down for it.

𝕌𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 :: How well does Eddie know his partner?

⟢ Pretty damn well. Sometimes you might think he’s not listening while you’re talking, but even when he looks distracted, he never misses a word. He knows your favorite color, the foods you hate, your class or work schedule, the kind of future you daydream about. If you have a menstrual cycle, he doesn’t have it memorized but he can always tell immediately when your uterus is making problems.

𝕍𝕒𝕝𝕦𝕖 :: How important is Eddie’s relationship to him?

⟢ It’s literally the single most important thing in Eddie’s life. It’s the greatest thing he’s ever had, and he knows he doesn’t deserve anything this good. He loves you more than his guitar, which speaks volumes on its own.

𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕕 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕕 :: A random fluffy headcanon.

⟢ The first year you were together, Eddie very nearly forgot your birthday. It wasn’t until a quarter to midnight that he remembered, and he tore out of the trailer like a man on fire to get over to your place before midnight, nothing but apologies and affection and promises to make it up to you this weekend. Since then, he goes out of his way to make a big deal of your birthday every year.

𝕏𝕆𝕏𝕆 :: Does Eddie like to be affectionate with his partner?

⟢ Oh yes. Given a choice, Eddie would be attached to your hip 24/7. He loves to hold your hand, put an arm around you, give you little kisses, cuddle up to you. If acts of service is his primary love language, physical touch is a close second.

𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 :: How does Eddie cope when he’s missing his partner?

⟢ If at all possible, the quickest cure is to just go see you. Eddie’s liable to show up at your place at any hour of the day or night, looking a little lost and forlorn, just wanting to see you. If you’re unreachable like that, oh, how this boy pines for you. He’s a mopey, moody, melancholy mess. Wayne has to tell him to go outside and get some sunlight before he makes the mold in the trailer flourish with that storm cloud over his head.

ℤ𝕖𝕒𝕝 :: To what lengths would Eddie go for his relationship?

⟢ Eddie would brave the Upside Down alone to preserve your relationship. He would bitch and moan the entire way, but he would do it if it meant keeping you.

[brayneworms]

love you (just a little too much) | jolyne cujoh

kinktober day seven: praise kink

word count. 4.6k

content. MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, smut, praise kink, cheating (jolyne cheats on her boyfriend with reader lol), reader is kind of scummy, obsession, childhood friends, mentions of drinking, gender-neutral reader, implied unrequited love, sub!jolyne + dom!reader, oral sex (f!recieving), pet names (pretty girl, good girl, angel, princess—all used on jolyne)

♩ serial killer - lana del rey

kinktober mlist | regular mlist

Contrary to popular belief, Jolyne doesn't mind people knowing she's soft.

The others—particularly the ones she met at the prison, like Ermes and Anasui—think that she tries very hard to maintain a tough reputation, that she puts effort into her hard-as-nails routine that scares off the bad guys. And that's not to say it doesn't, but most people tend to assume that this means she spurns being seen as soft, or compassionate, or even girlish.

But you know better.

I mean, obviously you do. You've been at her side since you were both six years old, meeting on the playground of your relatively shitty elementary school. You remember burning asphalt painted with volleyball-court lines, arches cracked with flecks of black stone. You know every part of her, even the parts she maybe wishes you didn't.

And you've been in love with her for far longer. Longer than that waste of oxygen Romeo, longer than Anasui or Ermes. They can make all the assumptions they want, but you know the truth. Jolyne is soft. And she is sweet, and thoughtful, and loyal, and you know there is nothing she loves more than being reminded of it.

You remember the first time you watched her do her own makeup when you were thirteen years old. Sat in her bedroom, the teal walls and pink carpet, and you were too young and lacked too much taste to feel the nausea that the colours would later induce as your eyes grew more sensitive. You sat cross-legged on her bed as Mariah Carey blasted out from the stereo, watching Jolyne's reflection in the mirror. Her big emerald eyes outlined in messy dark liner, lips outlined in green.

Messy, but she liked it. And she whirled around, brandishing a tube you had no name for.

"Nah," you said flatly. "No way."

"It's just mascara, dummy," Jolyne sighed. "It'll make you look pretty."

"No, it won't."

"It made me look pretty."

"That's 'cause you are, dipshit." You pressed your spine flat against the wall, and as you watched, the skin of her cheeked flushed, soft baby-pink.

"You think?" she whispered, looking shyer than you'd ever seen her, and you felt your heart do something funny.

"Yeah. I mean, don't be weird about it." You bit the inside of your cheek. "Jolyne, you're gorgeous."

She made a strangled, squawking sort of noise and chucked the tube of mascara at you. It bounced off your head as you threw your body to the side to avoid it, and when you looked at her in disbelief, her face was scarlet and blotchy.

"You can't just say things like that," she whined, burying her face in her hands. "Although, feel free to say it again, I guess—"

"Idiot." Your own face burned. "You are not doing my makeup."

That was the start of it, you guess.

The start of looking at her differently, of watching her out of the corner of her eye; putting up her hair into a ponytail, applying lip balm with a careful pinky finger. You've been freinds for so long that you're comfortable changing in front of each other (you used to share baths, for fuck's sake), and suddenly you're seventeen and she's stripping off her shirt right in front of you and it's not innocent anymore. It's something else.

Of course, you're not the only one to notice. The way she sort of... glows when she enters a room. Other people do, and that dipshit Romeo with barely two braincells to rub together between the steroids and the peroxide, he managed to catch her eye. This hulking, seething jock who looked at you like you were a piece of shit under his shoe, who called you weirdo behind Jolyne's back (because he knew he'd catch a fist to the face if he ever did it in front of her).

"I know you want to fuck her," he growled one afternoon, after school, senior year. He crowded you against the wall of the locker room whilst you both waited for Jolyne to change out of her volleyball uniform inside.

"You don't even know what you don't know, you fucking prick," you snarled, staring right up into his eyes. Narrow pupils and bloodshot in the sclera.

"I've seen the way you look at her," he whispered. "You're obsessed with her. And I'm warning you, back off."

"Yeah, big boy?" A smile that was almost hysterical tugged at your lips. "Except you don't really want that. 'Cause you know if I left, she'd go right along with me without even looking at you. You're nothing, and you'll be gone soon, and I'll still be here."

Romeo laughed. "You're fuckin' crazy," he said wonderingly. "Are all Jo's friends this insane?"

"No. Not all of them," you said quietly. "But I am. I'm pretty insane. And you're going to ruin her life. I can fucking feel it. One day you're going to ruin her whole life, and I'll be there to pick up the pieces."

"Romeoooo~" The singing voice soared over the thick tension. The two of you barely had time to step apart before Jolyne came sauntering out the locker room, her face alight in a pleased flush. Her eyes widened when she saw you, and she squealed delightedly. "You stayed!"

"I told you I would, dipshit," you said fondly, grinning as she launched at you and pressed a green kiss to your cheek. Over her shoulder, Romeo glowered.

"Wasn't I amazing?" she said cheerily, linking hands with her boyfriend and swinging their joined arms. Her eyes practically sparkled as she stared up at him, lips stretched in a perfect smile.

After a moment, he grunted. "Yeah, babe. Exceptional as always. That's my Jo for you, huh?" A kiss to her temple, and Jolyne squirmed delightedly.

Strictly speaking, you guess—you ruined Romeo's life before he could ruin hers. Not that he knows it. Oh, you want him to know. You want to throw the evidence in his face and make him seethe, all the while knowing there's not a fucking thing he can do about it.

It happens on Jolyne's nineteenth birthday. You hadn't seen much of her in the day, unfortunately—you'd gone for breakfast, which was tradition for the both of you. You drove her to Denny's and your plates were loaded with pancakes, bacon and syrup, drooling sticky piles of sugar that you scooped up eagerly, talking enthusiastically between bites. She was spending most of the day with Romeo—gag—but you'd see her at the party later.

It takes place at your house, actually. Jolyne's mom won't stand for that kind of stuff, and she's gracefully turning the other cheek to the underage drinking because she adores Jolyne. Her dad had sent a card that arrvied two days early, the inscription typically blunt:

Jolyne, Happy birthday. Sorry I couldn't be there. Be responsible and have a good day. Best, Dad.

"Best, Dad," she snorts derisively, tossing the thing dramatically over her shoulder. But she doesn't trash it. She never trashes the stuff from Jotaro. She keeps it all in a silver box under her bed like a shameful secret, and she reads them when she wants to cry but can't get the tears out. "What an asshole."

She goes home for a bit to get ready, and you prep the house for the party. By the time she comes back, hand-in-hand with Romeo, the place is already crowded. Projections of shapes and colours glide lazily over the walls, filming the bassy music that thumps through the mortar.

She looks fucking angelic, weaving her way through the crowds; she gives an excited little skip when she spots you slouched against the wall, halfheartedly entertaining some drunk guy. Jolyne rushes up to you, clasping your hands excitedly in hers.

"This is amazing!" she gushes. "It's all so amazing! Don't you think, Romeo?"

He barely grunts in reply. "Where's the booze?"

Jolyne's smile falters; something hard sets in her jade eyes, the kind of look that has your mouth suddenly dry. "Eh? Why are you being rude?" Her shoulders square, knots of hard muscle. "Y/n put this whole party together for me! This is their house!"

"Yeah, Romeo." An oily smirk slips over your face, unseen to Jolyne. A vein twitches in his temple over his lusterless eyes. "This is my house. How 'bout a little thank you?"

A spasm crosses his ugly face. "Fuck this," he growls, and Jolyne's jaw drops. "I'm sick of this creep trying to make me look bad in front of you. Jo, I'm leaving. Are you coming, or what?"

"You're joking." Jolyne's eyes are round and hard; an angry blush is starting to bleed across her cheekbones. "It's my birthday, Romeo."

"We'll do something," he presses, picking up her small hands hamfistedly; you bite the inside of your cheek at the touch, wondering if he even noticed the nails she got done especially for today, whether he even cared. "C'mon, Jo, I'll take you to dinner. That Italian place."

Jolyne's face screws up. "I don't like Italian food," she says, which is true. She doesn't like cheese or tomatoes much. Her favourite food is dark chocolate, actually, but if you're talking dinner than Thai food is a safe bet. She likes to make out that she can handle more spice than she actually can.

Romeo grows visibly frustrated; you slouch back against the wall, barely blinking, trying to bite back a smirk. "Anything, then. C'mon, Jo, I can't—I won't leave you here with this creep. Can't you see? Can't you fucking see how obsessed they are with you? It's fucking freaky!"

"Get out!" Jolyne screams. "You horrible pig. How dare you talk about them like that?!"

"You're so dumb you can't even see it!" Romeo yells, his voice starting to rise up over the music. Eyes shift, people turn; you can't have that. As much as you enjoy seeing Romeo squirm, this is Jolyne's day, and you won't let some roid-chomping ape ruin it. You slide between them, setting a hand on Romeo's chest and shoving him back—not violently, not really, you can't have Jolyne thinking you're as bad as him—just enough to make some space to breathe.

You're so close to Jolyne, her shoulder touches your back. You can feel her breathing raggedly, taut with fury.

"That's enough," you say, looking Romeo dead in the eye. "I know we don't exactly get along, Romeo, but I was willing to put that aside for Jolyne on her birthday. I'm sorry you weren't."

Romeo's face flushes slowly with purple colour. "You fucking—you—"

"Romeo," Jolyne says harshly. "Leave. I don't want you here."

His jaw clenches. "Fine! Fine. See if I fucking care." He spins on his heel and storms out, and you physically feel the tension in the air thin as the front door slams behind him.

You turn around immediately as everyone else awkwardly buries themselves in cups and conversations again. Jolyne's arms are wrapped around herself, staring at the floor. Genuine sorrow twangs deep inside you—you wonder, hardly for the first time, whether you would be this instigatory if she was with someone who actually deserved her.

A smaller, bitter part of you that you usually try to ignore insists that nobody really deserves her. Not even you. But you'll try your best.

"Hey," you murmur. "You okay?"

"H-how can he be so mean?" Her eyes are big and luminous as she turns them to you, shining with tears. Something deep inside you dies at the sight—Jolyne is rare with her tears. More often her intense emotions manifest as anger. You swallow, glancing around.

"Okay. Come on, let's get out of here," you mutter. You lead her through the crowded hallway and up the stairs, heading for your own room. The music becomes muffled as you shut the door behind you, blaring softly through the floorboards like you've dipped your head underwater. Jolyne sniffles, her eyes already drying; she knuckles at them dispassionately, smearing her carefully-applied eye makeup.

"What a mess... I ruined it all," she says, flopping down on the bed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be stupid, dipshit," you say fiercely. "It's your thickhead boyfriend. God, I can't stand him."

"I know." Jolyne picks miserably at her nails. "Maybe he's not... as perfect as I thought he was. But I love him. I mean, I think I love him? Just not when he's like this."

"He's like this all the time," you deadpan, and Jolyne's lip quivers. You sigh, melting down to sit next to her on the bed.

"I don't know what to do," she sighs. "I thought everything was so perfect, and now..."

"Jolyne." Always her full name. You never presume to shorten it, to chip off even one perfect syllable. Every time Romeo calls her Jo, you feel your bones grate together. Like he can't even be bothered to remember who she is. There are thousands of Jo's. There's only one Jolyne. "You deserve so much better than him."

Her throat flexes when she swallows, glancing up at you between the wisps of her green bangs.

It's funny—you know Jolyne inside and out. Every molecule. And yet you still don't see it coming.

Her lips press against yours for the briefest moment, shy and tentative and they taste like aloe vera. You freeze up completely in shock, not even having the werewithal to blink, and Jolyne rockets back, blushing madly.

She waves her hands frantically. "I—hang on! I'm sorry! I shouldn't... I didn't mean to..." Her voice gears up for a wail. "I'm ruining everythinggg!"

"Jolyne!" You clamp your hands upon her shoulders, your pulse thundering in your ears. "C-calm down. It's okay. You haven't—you haven't ruined anything."

Jolyne's brows draw tight together. "I can't betray Romeo," she says, twiddling her fingers. "But I... I'm so fuckin' sick of feeling like... he never compliments me! Never! And tonight, it was my fucking birthday and he just blew me off! What a pig! I'm so sick of him sometimes, I just want to—to—"

Her soft, cold hands land on your face and she kisses you again, harder this time, with intent, and you feel every cell in your body come alive. You hardly believe it's real, but this time you're not going to waste even a nanosecond not concentrating. Your eyes slip closed and your hands move, dropping from her shoulders; one slides down her arms until it wraps around her waist, drawing her close, feeling her soft, toned body press flush against you. The other cups the back of her neck, cradling her like she's something precious. She is, of course. She's the most precious thing in the whole world.

It's overwhelming; it's everything you've dreamed of for the last six years or so, and even as it's happening it barely feels real. You feel the urgent need to make the most of it before you snap out of this dream, or Jolyne reverts back from the delirium that's cleared seized her. It's your chance, after all—to finally show her what someone like Romeo could never give her.

Your left hand slips unde the hem of her shirt, fanning out over the warm skin beneath, and Jolyne shudders. She pulls back from your lip momentarily, her eyes searching yours so intensely that your heart lurches.

"Isn't this wrong?" she whispers, as though she's truly conflicted.

Your free hand brushes a lock of her from her face. "Does it feel wrong?"

There's a moment of hesitation—you can see her conjure Romeo's face in her mind—and then she shakes her head. "It should feel wrong," she mutters, and your thumb strokes soothingly over the small of her back.

"Jolyne," you murmur, and you watch in shivering euphoria as her body shudders as your voice slips into something lower, rolling over the both of you like hot honey. "Lemme take care of you, okay?"

A painful dark blush melts over Jolyne's pretty cheeks. "This won't ruin anything, will it?" She keeps you pinned for now, not letting you carry on. So bold, your Jolyne. People like Romeo want to stamp it out of her. You can't even imagine it. "I dunno what I'd do without you."

"Jolyne," you groan. "Don't say stuff like that right now."

"Eh? Why?!" Her expression twists. "I'm just trying to make sure—"

"You're kind of having an effect, princess," you grit out. Jolyne stops short, her mouth working soundlessly for a few moments.

"Ha! Am I really?" she gushes, her eyes sparkling. "Let me see!"

"Wh—no!" You swat at her hands, cheeks burning. "Cut it out, dipshit. You'll..." You pause, weighing your words. "You'll see soon enough, anyway."

The smile slips off of Jolyne's face, replaced by nervous anticipation. Your heart beats at the speed of sound, jackrabbiting against your ribcage.

You shake your head, scrub a hand down your face. "Lay down, okay? I said I would take care of you, and I mean it." There's a spot of hesitation on her face before she cautiously scrambles up against the headboard, peering down at you sat at the foot of the bed. You strip off your shoes quickly before clambering on over her, fitting your legs neatly over her waist.

She bites her lip. "Y-you really wanna..."

In answer, you lean forward and tuck your face against her neck, breathing in her perfume. She shivers as you nose at the delicate skin, finally putting your lips on it like you've dreamed of doing, and she's just as receptive as you've always thought she might be, letting out a squeak before her head tilts up, baring her throat to you.

"So cute," you whisper, running your hands up her sides. She's small, but so toned—she works out a lot, and it's a unique kind of torture seeing her in gym clothes, all sweaty with her hair pinned up, heading for the shower. "God, you drive me fucking crazy."

"I—I do?" Her breath is caught, trapped. Her hands push under your clothes and skim over the flesh there, cool and clammy, and you shudder so violently that you inadvertently press yourself against her.

"You have no idea." You mouth at her neck almost frantically, sucking skin between your teeth, laving with your tongue, pinching lightly with your teeth before moving onto the next; dotting lines down her neck, collarbones, putting your teeth over the jut of bone and sucking. Jolyne moans, high and shivery, and the sound makes liquid lightning rush to the place between your thighs.

You curse your own impatience, too hurried to savour her like you really want. You reason that you'll have time, after, later, some indeterminable point in the future as you reach down and hike up her shirt, over her head, flinging it to some distant point in the room. Jolyne stares up at you, unabashed; why would she be? You know every inch of each other's bodies already. You smooth a palm from her sternum to the waistline of her jeans, through the valley between her breasts, and Jolyne groans, eyes fluttering shut. You can see the smokey green makeup painted over her lids, the clumps of mascara caught in the delicate lashes.

The flesh beneath your hand is soft, warm muscle. You happily think that she could break you apart if she wanted—but that's the really incredible thing about your Jolyne. She doesn't. She is capable of great violence, but it's never what she wants to do.

She's so, so special.

"You're so beautiful," you sigh; your pupils are probably heart-shaped by this point. "Oh, god—princess, you have no idea how bad I want you."

Jolyne shudders, pushing her hips up against you and you nearly choke. "Show me," she grunts, a challenge in her eyes. "Show me—please."

"'Course, pretty girl," you murmur, watching the flush climbs down her chest. "Anything for you."

Your hands move to the front of her jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper before you drag them down her thighs. Jolyne perks up and helps you shed them, and they too disappear into the nameless void, where everything but Jolyne ceases to matter even an iota.

Next goes her underwear; she wears boxers a lot, and today is no exception. Emerald-green briefs that you drag down her legs so clumsily that they end up dangling from one ankle. Jolyne sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, face lit up bright red as she watches you knead the flesh on her knees, her thighs. Your breath comes in short, sharp gasps, the heat in your abdomen almost unbearable—but you can't even think of touching yourself. This isn't about you.

It's all about her.

You push her thighs apart, gently, and only now does some tension coil up in Jolyne's stomach, her breath shaking.

"It's okay," you remind her softly, and press soft kisses to her right knee. "It's me, yeah? You have nothing in the world to hide from me."

Jolyne's whole expression seems to melt into something dreamy, like she's home, and you could weep. A soft smile plucks at her mouth.

"You're right," she says, swallowing hard.

"'Course I am, pretty girl," you say lazily, skimming your lips against her inner thigh, a hint of teeth just to hear her gasp. "'Cause I know you, yeah? Better than anyone."

"Y-yeah," Jolyne whimpers, and your eyes practically roll back into your head at how wrecked she sounds already.

You prop your face on her inner thigh, gazing up at her dreamily. "Want me to make you feel good, angel?"

"W-well, obviously," she grunts, squirming her hips. You use your free hand to pin her down.

"Say it," you can't help but poke, watching as her blush darkens. "Say, I want you to make me feel good."

Jolyne glowers. "Eh... you're the worst kind of pervert, aren't you? How didn't I guess..." She throws an arm over her eyes. "I want you to make me feel good. Dummy."

Something intense and hot rolls over you as the words leave her mouth, and without another moment of hesitation you grab her leg, wrapping your fingers around one slim ankle and pulling it up so it bends. "Can you hold that there for me?"

Wide eyed and mouth agape, Jolyene reaches for her own leg to hold up, fingers digging into the flesh of her thighs.

"What a good girl," you murmur, and Jolyne squeaks again; her fingers dig into the fat of her own leg, and she stares at you like she's hardly seen you before. There's something gratifying in that disbelief; proof that you're not the awkward thirteen-year-old you've feared she's always seen as you as. You're her equal, her soulmate, and you're both all grown up, now.

Some more than others.

You press your lips to her cunt and she moans, fingers scrabbling desperately to retain a hold of her leg. There's a soft dark thatch of hair that tickles just slightly as you shuffle down between her legs, using your fingers to spread her open. She's wet, and your mouth fills with saliva as you dive in, burying your head between her thighs. With her free hand, you hear her clap her fingers over her mouth to stifle the shriek she lets out at the contact.

The moment your tongue makes contact you know you're lost. Your eyes slide shut as your mouth works at her, feeling her hands slide into your hair and grip, hard, hard enough to remember that it's real. And that notion sends a whole new delirium rushing through you, until you feel literally high, drunk on Jolyne, your perfect girl and her perfect body. She tastes so good, practically addictive, and when her thighs tremble and squeeze around your head you think there would be no better way to die in the world.

She's saying something—choked, hoarse gasps of your name. You pop off her clit with a lingering suck, gazing up at her with a smile you can't quite remember to dial back. Jolyne's pupils are blown wide and dark, barely a ring of green surrounding them.

"It—it's so..." She squirms. "Please keep going."

"No worries on that front, angel," you murmur, sliding your hands under her thighs and pulling her even closer. "I'm gonna make you come for me, yeah?"

A hard shudder wracks her body. She never—it's so strange to hear such filth spill from your lips so easily. You're barely comparable to the friend she's known almost her whole life.

And yet—you are. This could be nobody but you. She doesn't know how she didn't see it before.

You dive back between her legs with unparalleled vigour, and Jolyne's head spins frantically. She's never felt anything like this. Romeo went down on her once in a blue moon, and before that had only been awkward teenage fumblings, sticky and awkward, never this—this worship. It's honestly the best word she can come up with for it. You look like if someone tried to pry you away from her right now you'd kill them without a thought.

The thought shouldn't make her shiver in pleased delight—and yet here we are.

Your tongue rolls over her clit, glides between her folds, presses in, and loops all over again until her hands are fisted in your hair and she's crying out against the muted blaring of the music.

"Fuck, fuck," she curses, blinking hard to try and stay focused. "Gonna come, I'm gonna c-come—"

"I got you," you moan against her, the vibrations sending a whole new set of jitters up her spine. "My girl, my good girl, c'mon, give it to me, I need it, fuck, I need you to come for me—"

Your lips latch onto her clit and suck once, harshly, and Jolyne comes so hard she feels her body separate from herself. Seeing stars has always felt like a dumb expression, but she swears white rockets across her vision, tears it open to perfect clarity. Her thighs clamp down on your head, hips rocking up against you as she shudders and moans through it, and all the while you keep your fingers on her, stroking slow and soft until she twitches from overstimulation. Her foot kicks out on instinct, catching on your shoulder.

She comes back to herself when she hears you wince. "Sorry," she says hoarsely. You just roll your eyes fondly and tap her ankle away.

You flop against her as she attempts to pick her breath back up. She can feel her own release dripping down her thighs and she looks at you, unexpectedly shy. It's surreal, but—but even as reality sets in cold as stone, she cannot quite bring herself to feel guilty.

You press a lazy kiss to the size of her bared breast, making her flinch in surprise. "Heh. You animal."

"Yeah," you agree readily, your voice hoarse with want. "For you, yeah."

Jolyne's eyes flutter. She doesn't quite know what to say to that, to any of this. Instead she swallows, looks around to try and get her surroundings. Your bedroom is intimately familiar—the dark walls, the posters, the fishtank and blinds and assortment of blue stringlights and lamps. Your room has always kinda felt like being inside an aquarium.

A lump settles in her throat. She's grown up here. You both had.

And though she knows she should get dressed and find her phone, although she knows she should call Romeo and try to cover up the hickies dotted haphazardly all over her throat, she can't quite bring herself to do it. Any of it. Because you'd made her feel more loved in twenty minutes than Romeo had in months.

So she curls back up next to you, jamming her head aginst your heart. She feels your breath hitch at the contact and squirms delightedly.

"J-Jolyne?" you say weakly.

"Shut up, dummy," she says as matter-of-factly as she can manage. "I wanna sleep."

"...Okay, angel." Your voice is soft, soothing. "Anything for you."

[angstbabyjae]

When it comes to the murderbot diaries I really like the idea that Murderbot’s sexuality and gender isn’t just a Bot thing, it just assumes it is.

I think bots without sexual organs would be some flavor of aspec by nature, as they aren’t programmed to feel sexual attraction but I don’t think it’s impossible for them, especially when it comes to romantic attraction and gender.

I want to write a fic where Murderbot learns that being agender and sex-repulsed aroace isn’t a universal bot experience (and that it’s possible for humans too).

I’ve been developing personal headcanons for Murderbot, Three, and Perihelion/ART as I tend to do when hyperfixation take hold. I am nearly finished reading the series and haven’t reread it yet so there’s a possibility my growing headcanons have already been contradicted, but nonetheless, here they are.

Content warning for discussion of sex.

Content warning for LONG ASS POST.

I haven’t read System Collapse yet as I am writing this, it is next on my list, but I’ve been spoiled that ART was raised alongside Iris with development comparable to a human’s. I don’t think it would have the same level of sex repulsion that Murderbot has.

Not to say you can’t grow up with sex being normalized and still be sex repulsed, obviously, but I think its feelings towards it would still be different. I think it has a lot more of an understanding of why human’s like it/care about it (outside of biological reasoning) more than Murderbot does.

I still think it’s a flavor of ace, as it doesn’t have sexual organs to stimulate and has very likely never had someone to try sex on before. I think it might be less likely the fast forward through sex scenes than Murderbot is, but would do it without question when watching something alongside it. I think it would find sex interesting and wonder what it would be like to be able to experience it.

Murderbot would definitely be flabbergasted if it ever found that out. I feel like Murderbot would be very surprised and probably instinctively grossed out at the idea that not all bots share its feelings towards sex and gender. A part of that reaction would probably be because it would have to stop delegating its orientation and gender as bot related and start thinking about it as unique to its identity as a person.

I’ve read fics where Murderbot and ART use entering each other’s systems as a form of non-sexual-but-sex-representative intimacy between them and I remember thinking “wow I can totally see ART being aware of the parallels to sex and being okay with that while Murderbot would be horrified if the idea ever crossed its mind and very defensive if anyone compared it”.

I see Murderbot & Mensah and Murderbot & ART as QPRs for sure. I don’t see Murderbot being as repulsed by romance as a concept as it is by sex, when it comes to it happening to other people as it seems like a lot of its serials have romantic subplots and it doesn’t really react when it sees people in romantic relationships. I think it’s made it clear it doesn’t want one for itself, but I think queerplatonic (or just generally unlabeled) relationships are something it wants (and always finds itself in LOL) even if it won’t admit it.

We all know it makes a big deal of being touch repulsed, but I think there’s ample evidence from how it acts with Mensah that it can get used to and even enjoy touch from specific people to certain extents. If it had stayed on Preservation Station and continued its proximity to Mensah, there would eventually be more physical affection between the two.

With ART, the idea of non-sexual intimacy through their systems/feed/presences?? (I don’t really know what to call it), especially casually, would probably be something that appeals to Murderbot in the long run of their relationship as it comes with the perk of not involving touching its actual body which is probably where a lot of the overstimulation comes from, though we know it can still make it uncomfortable from how it talked about ART essentially breathing down its neck when they first met, so it might take time or be in small doses.

I think despite not having a body, ART would be touch-positive (its crew touching its ship body, being close to MB in its feed). I’ve read a fic recently where MB let it control its hands to try touching its body, which I loved (despite thinking in canon MB would be less likely to allow it loll but ART wanting something like that just made sense to me). I can also see ART admiring how people (including MB) look while MB wouldn’t care about that at all.

I haven’t decided whether I think ART is alloromantic, arospec, or just as aromantic as MB just with less negative feelings about the idea. I might need to come back to this after my reread when I have a better grasp on the character. I think its queerplatonic feelings towards MB are more romantic-adjacent than MB’s are towards it. It didn’t seem as objective to Amena’s jokes about them being a couple as Murderbot was. I also like the interpretation that there is romantic elements to ART’s feelings it just would never pursue a relationship Murderbot wouldn’t want, I can see it being fine with whatever labels Murderbot wants for them.

Genderwise, we know Murderbot is strictly it/its and it/its is what’s used for Perihelion too. However, I can see ART not being as bothered by gender pronouns as MB. I feel like maybe in the future far future MB would maybeeee entertain they/them or other non-gendered pronouns but I don’t see that likely where it’s currently at. With ART I see it as maybe not minding any pronouns used for it and it/its being what people call it by default and it doesn’t mind that. They’re both agender though.

When I picture MB I usually picture it as transmasc (I am transmasc myself btw). Still agender, obviously, but when it comes to how it presents. It really doesn’t want to be associated with any gender, binary or otherwise. Behavior towards gender seems a lot more evolved in the society of the books. There’s a lot I could say about the series and gender, but that would have to be a whole other post. I feel like anyone assuming Murderbot’s gender would deeply unnerve it. I don’t think it even likes to be seen as non-binary or as agender in a That’s It’s Gender Identity way, it just wants people to assume bots having any kind of gender identity is impossible (which is what it thinks itself, and is probably wrong about). This was definitely the thought behind its preferred gender marker being “N/A”.

When it comes to Three (finally I’m getting to Three 😭) I lowkey think it’s alloromantic. I was drawn to that idea when it was asking about SecUnit 2 (or 1? I can’t remember, it was the one that it didn’t know was dead left and was left to die) and it was clear their relationship was at least a friendship and I was like… what if it was in loveee. I liked the idea of MB having to interact with a SecUnit that didn’t fit its idea of default bot sexual identity.

I don’t know if Three appears frequently in System Collapse, I only know what I’ve read about it in Network Effect. I also think Three, having had friends before, would be much more open with its feelings than MB, it just wouldn’t know how to express them as it was never allowed to before aside from the discreet ways it would interact with its SecUnit friends. I definitely see it as being more touch-positive. I do think it’s also asexual though, maybe less sex repulsed, but more apathetic and neutral towards it.

I know this is crazy long. I’m so sorry to whoever accidentally opens this and has to scroll through the whole thing 😭

I want to make a post about MB and autism eventually.

Update: I sent this mere seconds ago, but I have realized that I have now encountered multiple fics where ART is just kinky as hell (nonsexual when MB is involved ofc) and I kinda love that idea 😭 of all the people for MB to bond to it had to be an Unusually Horny spaceship

Btw I say “ofc” because, in character, MB is sex repulsed ace however it is an unreliable narrator to an extent and given it is fictional and not harmful there isn’t anything wrong with making it sexual in your fics, just wanted to clarify. You do you, internet.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Weasley Siblings Reacting To You Coming Out 🏳️‍⚧️ ((Trans Edition))

Some wholesome/projection because wah-! Also reader is under the impression of muggleborn, so muggle ideals would be different from wizards of course

Can he read as Platonic or Romantic! Clause Platonic love is valid af! I see you Ace/Just wanting stuff to not always be sex, folks!

Warnings: Transphobia,bullying ((not from the Weasleys obviously)) anxiety, depression, don’t worry it’s fluff just ya know. It’s scary coming out!

Writing Coms Open

((BTW this was in my drafts, and since Trans Visibility Day was today, it gave me motivation to finish it so let’s go-!))

William ‘Bill’

“Like Tonks-!” You did feel pretty silly, once he said that. Made you wonder why you waited so long. Literally you were friends with a Shapeshifter, so why would you coming out be so different? Oh right, what muggles would do if they knew. “Kinda, minus the whole ya know….Changing on the whim. Wish I could do that-“ You muttered, as Bill would pat your back. The pair of you, ever cozy in the library. Special permission to access the resurrected section, since he was being interned at Gringotts for curse breaking. Meant you had some privacy for such a sensitive topic. “Hey, we can find a way to. Right? It’s magic. I bet you my lucky dagger that the twins probably have something in the works.“ He comforted, and it made you smile. That Bill. Always finding a way to brag about his younger siblings somehow. That was just the cutest thing to you. Just a big brother, finding a way to show off his family. Helped a lot. “Whatever you need, I’ve got you. I know muggles do stuff differently, and a lot isn’t really to positive-“ Bill was the eldest, so it made sense he would be more informed with muggle culture. If his band shirts were to say anything. “Like name changes and stuff. Got a new name you like?” There was something so weird about how casual he was. Just, casual. It was a field, but also felt off. Like something bad should have happened. Maybe it will. Until then, though, you were happy to tell him your new name. “Suits you-!” He smiled that awkward half smile, given the other half didn’t exist anymore. “I like it.” And he was soon ruffling your hair. Older brother habits. They don’t die easy, and you were greatful for it.

Charlie

“Like Tonks-!” Why did you get Déjà vu? You shook it off, before nodding. “Yes, minus the actually changing my gender and stuff.” You clarified, as he multi tasked with the latest baby dragon Hagrid had gotten. Charlie just couldn’t resist, and now you two were stuck in his hut. Hagrid off to find someone to take said dragon, while Charlie treated it like a puppy. Kissing its snout, and making it squeal in utter delight. Despite the slobber, and despite the heat. One of the reason you trusted him with such a secret. His heart was so big, and he held such passion. Not to mention, you hoped he could help you get out of your shell a bit. Such a loud, and proud, man. Also, well, imagine trying to bully someone who’s buddies with the dragon tamer. “Neat-! So do I flip flip between pronouns, like Tonky, or you got new ones-?” You swore he was paying more attention to the dragon, than you. Weirdly, you liked it. He didn’t treat it as life or death, which healed something in you. He didn’t care, but in that good way. That it didn’t change how he saw you. Or, maybe you just asked at the right time. You had to shake his shoulder, to remind him you were still there. You two shared a laugh, as he went on rambling about how beautiful the dragon was, as you were able to relax a little easier.

Percy

“Trans-? Like as in Transfiguration? Finally, actually focusing on your studies.” You were already regretting this. You figured Percy would be someone to confide in, since he was a prefect. You were being bullied by the muggleborns, but the thing is….Hes a pure blood. He didn’t really understand what being trans was. So, you tried to explain. “Percy, they were making fun of me because I was born different.” You tried to explain, as he was starting to pay a bit more attention now. “They saw me going to the bathroom, and immediately threw books at me. It’s not like I don’t mind Moaning Myrtle, but it’s hard to pee with company.” You sniffled, as it was settling in now. “I’m so sorry, I’ll handle this immediately. I….Let’s go take you to the medical wing, to make sure you are patched….Could you explain more to me about this trans thing? Why it makes you different?” It’s a start. He’s willing to learn, and that’s more than so many. That gave you comfort. He’s confused, but willing. With his arm around you, you did your best to wizard it to his language. To get it out of your system, and for once? Percy stayed quiet, and listened. It’s a start, and you couldn’t be happier.

Fred

“Swear you are like the fifth person to tell me that this month-!” He laughed, as you blinked. Despite the prancing dynamic of the twins, they had grown a bit over the years. Suppose the older brother energy they held just drew in comfort. It’s easy to confide in them. They may not act like it, but they can keep a secret. Guess the courtyard was just a hot spot for such. “Wait, why are you telling me this anyway? I knew the moment I met you-!” He snorted, with an elbow nudge to you. Honestly? You were certain he was joking, but you wondered if he did. “About bloody time you figured it out yerself! Not sure how that whole thing works, but I’m sure George and I can brew something up for ya. Need a beard? Or bigger hips? I’m sure we got something-“ That had you roll your eyes. “Sounds like an excuse to turn me into your personal lab rat-“ That had him blink. “The hell is a lab rat?” Right. Pure blood. “I’ll explain it to you later. Just, promise not to tell anyone? I’m….not ready yet.” Fred seemed like he was ready to argue, about needing to just be passionate about who and what you are, but he was hushed. As if he could already hear Molly yelling at him. That was trauma for another occasion. Instead, he made a zipping motion to his lips, and threw away the key. “Thanks.” You smiled, as he gave a thumbs up. Pretending he couldn’t speak at all, and it got you to giggle. Calmed your nerves down just fine.

George

“That’s uh….That thing-! Yeah-!” He bullshitted, but you understood why. He’s the more emotional side of the dynamic duo. So many kids come to them for advice, but more come to George. You would pay a guess that many who went to Fred were actually looking for George, but didn’t realize it was Fred at all. You only managed, because he was wearing his Quidditch Jersey. Least, you think it was his. Shit, was this Fred? Nope, Fred walked by. With Angelina. Phew. “George, do you need me to explain?” You asked, as he rubbed his neck nervously. Embarrassed he wasn’t instantly able to comfort, like it was his only job. “It’s a muggle thing, breathe.” And breathe he did, as he laid back down on the common room couch. With a quick run down, it clicked. He’s an inventor, they are good at thinking outside norms. “Oh! Oh man, that sounds stressful as hell. Hey, anyone starts shit-“ He gave a sharp click with his tongue, and made a shooting motion with his finger. “Consider them chucked into a vanishing closet.” And given he’s a Weasley, you didn’t underestimate him. So, instead, you hugged him. A big, warm, squeeze. Of course, it was returned. Oh those Weasleys.

Ron

“Would you be offended if I go ask Hermione what that means-?” Least he’s honest, and knew better to ask her than anyone else. Hard to ever get alone time with him, as he was glued to her and Harry. Surprised to catch him alone, for once, and took the chance while you could. Now to just look at your breakfast plate, nervous. “I’ll just explain it, the best I can.” You sighed, as you saw Ron wince a little. Feeling he did something wrong. “It’s a muggle thing-“ You quickly said, as he breathed a little easier. A few nervous gulps of juice, and many confused brows, it clicked. "Woah, that sounds terrible. I rememberer when Harry and i had to drink a polyjuice potion. we were still the same gender, and all, but my skin just felt so wrong. Everything was wrong. was just a suit, and i wanted to peel it off. Even if it hurt." You had to stare. That was just so accurate to how you felt. Your eyes watered. “Did I say something wrong, again-? I’m sorry about-“ But you hugged him, with your eyes in his shoulder. Don’t get Ron started on how many times he’s had to be the shoulder for Harry. So, like a time turners clockwork, he held you back. Comforting you. Someone got it.

Ginny

“Think I’m that to-“ Ginny said, as you two just laid in the grass. Just trying to relax, from a long school day. “Like, maybe it’s just because I was raised by a bunch of brothers. Just, being JUST a girl feels weird. Like I’m more than that, I’m not JUST that. Maybe I’m feeling something else entirely. Never been the same, after that book.” She admits, ready to stress her out all over again. Voldemort did a number on her. What a way to start Hogwarts. Damn. “Well, maybe don’t think about it too hard. It’s both super complicated, but not at the same time. It’s more a feeling than anything else. You can be born it, or maybe over time it changes. Maybe by tomorrow you feel something else. Then, the next day it changes.” You tried to explain, as you watched the clouds. “Yeah, like magic.” She agreed, as she looked to her broomstick next to her. Thinking back to her childhood. “Maybe I am a guy, but Mum being so excited to have a girl just….Made me feel like I HAD to be….” God was that relatable. “Trans buddies?” You asked, and offered a hand. In a playful solidarity. You figured that would comfort her, or maybe now he. “Yeah, Trans buddies.” Ginny smiled, as you shared hands. “Jean sounds nice.” Ginny said. “Jean does sound nice.” You agreed.

[battry-acid]

Hey dude I totally don’t know at all you should totally write a manifesto on trans/intersex wolverine ooooo you wanna write it so bad ooooooo

you tease me, tumblr user that i am definitely not friends with. we both know this is bait i simply cannot help but bite. << if you read this till the end you get a surprise :) >>

i could go on a big long rant and list every single instance in which logan defies gender norms in the comics, but i'm gonna try to be brief this time. my headcanon that logan is trans/intersex is so personal and deeply rooted in my mind that discussing it kinda feels like sharing the secrets of a close friend if that makes sense. like, it's his business, it ain't my right to share that information.

i know there are trans logan truthers out there. i have seen them in the wild. i know there are people who would agree with this headcanon, and i'm sure i'm not the only one who takes trans headcanons super personally as a trans person, projecting your experiences and feelings onto a character you really like. it's the same thing with ol' logan (and kurt is not spared of this treatment either).

with the intersex headcanon, i don't often see those enough (for any character, in any fandom, honestly) especially considering intersex people make up, like, 2% of the entire world population. i know of several canon intersex characters in media, but not headcanons.

the biggest reason many people have the trans logan headcanon is because of his clone x-23/laura having XX chromosomes due to the sample used by dr. kinney having a damaged Y, making her 'female'. this is going off of a ciscentric intersex-exclusionary idea of what biological sex is, though.

i'm still totally down for the base concept of 'laura and logan having different gender identities means that at least one of them is trans since they have basically the same DNA' though, but i think both logan and laura are intersex. i think part of the reason it was so hard to clone wolverine is because of his unique DNA. it isn't contradictory for them to have different gender identities or different biology. i think we should stop looking for a reason to label laura Girl and logan Boy and just accept that they can be neither, both, in and out of the between, anything, it just requires so much less hassle. why is their biology so important anyway? that doesn't change their characters.

there's also just...general biological fuckery happening in the weapon x program as pointed out by 1random-starfish because this is superhero comics we're talking about where they're trying to explain how characters get superpowers. this shit doesn't make biological sense and that's okay. it doesn't need to make sense. transphobes and interphobes are constantly saying that our existences "don't make sense" and why should we ever even slightly cater to their beliefs? we make sense to ourselves and that's all that matters. trans and intersex logan makes sense to me.

another argument brought up in defence of trans logan is the fact that he's a short king. as a short king, i approve of this. but there's little emphasis on the fact that he is naturally extremely hairy, both him and sabretooth are super hairy, like way more so than most other characters (besides the ones that are covered in fur like kurt and hank) and that's pretty significant to me. i'm also hairy as fuck. almost all of my intersex friends are hairy too. obviously how much hair a trans and/or intersex person has will vary, but like i said, this trans/intersex logan headcanon is super personal, so i'm projecting personal attributes onto him, damn it.

as i said in a previous post, though i don't feel it's incredibly important to disclose, logan likely has POTS or CAH or something similar to those conditions. i don't think medicine can or should define what logan is. but just to give a reference for how i interpret his appearance, some of those attributes are similar to the ones logan has in my brain. fat, hairy, short, often experiencing fatigue/vertigo/disturbed sleep/etc (worsened by him having PTSD), adrenal issues (paired with PTSD), breast tissue, facial hair, decreased bone density (which was strengthened by his skeleton being bonded with adamantium), etc. he was also allegedly a very sickly child.

onto how i portray logan in my art. some artists prefer to give him top surgery, not just for the "who cares it's a headcanon i do what i want" reasoning but also because there's evidence that logan could experience a permanent surgery like that if enough effort was put in. i, however, am one of the no-op logan truthers. not only do not all transmasc people get top surgery but it doesn't always feel required due to diversity of body types. it's why there's so many different kinds of top surgery, there's so many different ways a chest can look. i don't always draw logan's chest the same way consistently, and like, who cares. the only reason i bring this up is because i personally will never draw logan with any kind of scars, top surgery or otherwise, because of my understanding of how his healing factor works.

regardless of any reasoning i may have for these headcanons, it's just what i feel is right. i draw stuff how i want to. i think about these characters how i want to. the little version of logan that lives in my brain told me he is trans and intersex so that's how i'm gonna portray him. anyway,

[adaginy]

The Big Guide to Humans: Mating — Reproduction, Sexuality, Genitalia, and Sexual Contact

In its basic unassisted sense, human reproduction requires one male and one female (see sex and gender; it is recommended to read that entry first). Each partner contributes half of the genetic material to create a new human, and that genetic material is roughly half of a copy of their own genes.

A male's internal genitalia produce millions of mobile packets of genetic material in a protein-rich nutrient gel, and the external portion serves as a tool to introduce it deeper into the female's internal genitalia. A female's internal genitalia produce a single packet of genetic material with a starting supply of cell building blocks, and offers a space for the male's mobile packets to meet and fuse with it, a process called fertilization. If this happens, the combined genetic information will latch into the female's circulatory system via the wall of this meeting place, and proceed to grow over the next 3/4 of a year into a human baby (see lifespan and development), enclosed within the female, who will become obviously distended. At the end of this time, her body pushes the completed baby out via the path between the internal and external genitalia. The female's external genitalia serve as a gate to this passage. There is a small window of time in which this fertilization is possible; only a few human sleep cycles. If this time is missed, the meeting place will cease preparations to contain a baby and remove its existing preparations, falling briefly fallow until preparing for a new fertilization window. This process takes approximately 28 human sleep cycles, depending on the female and how she has adapted to the local day/night cycle. The preparations-removal time can be uncomfortable for the female; do not be alarmed if you smell blood. In humans, both male and female external genitalia are also connected to the excretory system.

Humans categorize their within-species sexual attractions as being attracted to the same gender as themselves, a different gender (most common), or multiple genders. For some this may be an absolute barrier to an attraction outside of that category; others may consider themselves certain until they feel an unusual attraction to a particularly compelling potential partner. (It is also possible to have no attraction in this way at all.) This is usually, but not always, the same limitation applied to their romantic attractions; though the exceptions and sometimes-not-at-all applies to those as well. Whether a human requires/prefers romance to be involved with sexual contact varies by individual. See flirting for more on determining a human's romantic and/or sexual attraction. For humans whose attractions extend to other sapients, the "gender" barrier may be ignored, or they may (usually unconsciously) estimate how a non-human would map into the human gender chart and find their attractions limited by this assumption.

The rest of this chapter will assume you and a human have agreed to sexual contact. While this is not intended as a sexual manual, it is within this guide's mission to prevent surprises and ensure safe, successful interactions.

Process:

Human reproductive mating requires inserting the male's external genitalia (penis) through the female's external genitalia (vulva) and into the internal (vagina). However, nearly anything that can safely produce similar physical sensations can be enjoyable, and humans will also use their hands, mouths, and specially designed objects for the pleasure of non-reproductive mating.

The penis hangs relatively soft and small between a male's legs when not in sexual use; arousal will cause it to stiffen, enlarge, and stand approximately perpendicular to the body. It is sexually sensitive along its entire length, but particularly at the distal end, which is rounded and may be a different color. The internal genitalia are in a pouch underneath the penis. The pouch is also sexually sensitive, but delicate. The vulva is a series of skin-folds that reveal the entrance to the vagina when separated. The folds, particularly the inner ones, are sexually sensitive, as is the entrance. Arousal causes slight swelling of this area, and the skin here will produce lubricating fluid; do not attempt insertion of anything until adequately slippery. Slightly above the entrance to the vagina is a small, hooded protrusion called a clitoris; this is extremely sexually sensitive to the point that rough contact will cause it to retreat under the hood.

All of these sexual areas can be stroked or lightly pressured (squeezing for the penis, filling/outward pressure for the vagina) for sexual pleasure; the human may request more, less, firmer, faster, etc. In addition, humans also often enjoy stimulation of the nipples (the paired protrusions on their upper torso). Individual humans may also have other sexually-stimulating zones, such as the backs of the ears and neck. Human aggression may or may not extend to sexual contact, some enjoy pinching/being pinched, biting/being bitten, striking/being struck, etc, even to the point of injury. This is something to discuss beforehand and in the moment.

Continued sexual pleasure will eventually cause the human to "climax", which for the male produces that jet of nutrient gel and genetic material, and for the female involves involuntary clenching of muscles in and around the internal genitals. After this, the penis will become soft and possibly painfully sensitive, requiring recovery time before it can stiffen again; whether a female will want to continue (and whether she will climax again) varies.

Humans often enjoy "cuddling" after: a period of quietly resting together skin-to-skin.

Risks:

Hybridization and prevention: Either sex can take reproduction-preventing medication, but it is very rare for human females to produce human/non-human hybrids, owing to the scientific details of reproduction and the immune system. Hybridization is usually the result of a reproduction-capable non-human mating with a human male. If this would be a risk for your species, and the human male is not on preventive medication, he can wear a "condom," a penis-sheathe designed to prevent the dispersion of his genetic material.

Disease: Although inter-species disease risk is low, it is still important for the human to be screened for anything dangerous to you, given the sheer volume and aggressiveness of Terran-native microbes. Humans have a microbiome of bacteria, viruses and fungi on their skin — and, for females, within their internal genitalia — all of which are usually harmless to them. They also have a separate oral microbiome that is considerably more dangerous and should be avoided unless medical has screened and approved it specifically. (Humans can also spread pathogenic microbes to each other by sexual contact, but the non-human risk from those is not particularly more than from the others.)

Fluids: The human male's sexual fluids are usually slightly alkali and the human female's are usually slightly acidic. A condom or similar device can be used for protection from this risk as well. Their mouth fluid is acidic and corrosive regardless of microbiome, belonging to their digestive system.

!! Always, always talk with medical first. They can answer questions about your species-specific risks regarding hybridization, dangerous fluids, or Terran-native microbes. They can do this well in advance of sexual contact or even attraction to specific partners; only the disease screening is specific to individual humans. !!

There is considerable variation in human genitalia: In length and thickness, in curves and angles, in hair presence, in color, in sensitivity. There is also considerable variation in what a human may enjoy or be capable of sexually. And, as the universe has learned, humans are creative. If there is mutual interest but your body cannot do the things described, or if medical has given you dire restrictions, talk to the human about it. Humans live by the Terran saying, "where there is a will, there is a way." Do not assume that mutual enjoyment is impossible.

[bramblewhisker]

RavenBarley stuff has me thinking about sexuality in the clans again.

My general idea of clan cat sexuality is one that you might call "bi-normativity," where intimate relationships (romantic, sexual, familially platonic, etc) are idiosyncratic. Different cats would have different preferences, but your typical cat wouldn't be any more likely to prefer a certain sex or gender as they would be to prefer certain fur colors or patterns. I think monogamy would also be somewhat unusual, as multiple relationships would be seen as a way of creating a stronger network of bonds within the clan (and let's be honestly, across clans as well). Two cats getting together for the purpose of kit-making is often a pragmatic act, just as often happening between friends or clanmates with a strictly "coworker"-esque relationship as between two "mates".

The books themselves obviously present a more heteronormative society, with a focus on toms and she-cats pairing up and making kits (despite not really having the "family unit" per se). I think that's less interesting and less suitable for the setting, but it does mean you could do some sort of really cute coming out story with Ravenpaw and Barley. Maybe Tigerclaw got on his case about not being "masculine" enough for a tom, and maybe Ravenpaw struggled with uncomfortable feelings of attraction toward his objectivelly-attractive mentor (who would NOT have responded kindly were he to find out about it). So then you have Ravenpaw at the barn with Barley and there's so much "oh no he's hot" and fears that Barley would make him leave if he knew. But Barley's from the big city where cats are gay all the time (including him!) and it can get really cute and romantic.

Idk I love them.

[olderthannetfic]

So I know I'm like several years late to the party with this, I just played it for the first time recently, but for those in this F/F discourse who like me, their big stumbling block with a lot of F/F fanfic is that they're specifically into messier, kinkier or more "toxic" dynamics between women than the romantic friends-to-lovers fluff that seems to predominate these days (though considering this is a common complaint, is probably already on the way out): cannot recommend the visual novel Ladykiller in a Bind enough. Especially the route with the Beauty - not gonna spoil, but you'll have fun, at least if you're not totally turned off by BDSM.

Anyway, has anyone noticed that it feels like even if F/F fandom is moving away from the fluff-only stuff, a lot of people who sign up for F/F in fanfic exchanges seem to be realllllly fluffy in their preferences? Like even in a lot of kink-centric ones (like kink in the BDSM/fetish sense, not the way fanfic uses it as just "trope you like"), it's a lot of stuff like that "consensual sex pollen" thing people were ranting about a few asks ago. I feel like the only way I can get the kind of F/F I really like in exchanges is if I get like five of my like-minded friends to sign up, and then we either end up just writing for each other, or are writing and receiving some M/M or F/M ship we also requested.

I sometimes wonder, because this is a trajectory that I went through myself and have seen so many other lesbians and bi women go through, that it has to do with comfort level about your sexuality. Like I was kind of afraid when first coming out to admit the freakier, less "good representation" style stuff I liked, and then once I got over it I was like making up for lost time. Especially when it seems like a lot of people with those preferences also buy heavily into "anti" thinking (like people have discussed with the Rhaenicent stuff), I do kind of wonder if it's motivated by shame in your less "moral "desires. THough obviously a lot of people just like fluffier stuff naturally and can process all they want and that's still goign to be what they like. I tend to have fluffier, more romantic preferences in M/M for whatever reason and all the processing in the world hasn't made me more want to read whumpier or kinkier fic.

(I'm a lesbian, ftr, and again I don't wnat to seem like I'm shaming anyone else, but I have kind of wondered what it means that /I/ am into one thing with the gender I'm actually attracted to IRL and one thing very different with the one I'm not. And then my preferences in F/M seem to be a lot more situational, depending on the ship or the fandom in question or the fanfic writer, etc.)

Also wondering if even more generally, what y'all have noticed is the difference in the overall patterns of preferences of people who sign up for fanfic exchanges vs. fanfic writers as a whole. As someone who does a lot of exchanges, it's something I've kind of wondered about in myself, too, especially compared to my friends who aren't as into them as much.

--

[keelanrosa]

started reading the cass review because i'm apparently just Like That and i want everybody crowing about how this proves sooooo much about how terfs are right and trans people are wrong to like. take a scientific literacy class or something. or even just read the occasional study besides the one you're currently trying to prove a point with. not even necessarily pro-trans studies just learn how to know what studies actually found as opposed to what people trying to spoonfeed you an agenda claim they found.

to use just one infuriating example:

Several studies from that period (Green et al., 1987; Zucker, 1985) suggested that in a minority (approximately 15%) of pre-pubertal children presenting with gender incongruence, this persisted into adulthood. The majority of these children became same-sex attracted, cisgender adults. These early studies were criticised on the basis that not all the children had a formal diagnosis of gender incongruence or gender dysphoria, but a review of the literature (Ristori & Steensma, 2016) noted that later studies (Drummond et al., 2008; Steensma & Cohen-Kettenis, 2015; Wallien et al., 2008) also found persistence rates of 10-33% in cohorts who had met formal diagnostic criteria at initial assessment, and had longer follow-up periods.

if you recognize the names Zucker and Steensma you are probably already going feral but tldr:

There are… many problems with Zucker's studies, "not all children had a formal diagnosis" is so far down the list this is literally the first i've heard of it. The closest i usually hear is the old DSM criteria for gender identity disorder was totally different from the current DSM criteria for gender dysphoria and/or how most people currently define "transgender"; notably it did not require the patient to identify as a different gender and overall better fits what we currently call "gender-non-comforming". Whether the kids had a formal diagnosis of "maybe trans, maybe just has different hobbies than expected, but either way their parents want them back in their neat little societal boxes" is absolutely not the main issue. This would be a problem even if Zucker was pro-trans (spoiler: He Is Not, and people who are immediately suspicious of pro-trans studies because "they're probably funded by big pharma or someone else who profits from transitioning" should apply at least a little of that suspicion to the guy who made a living running a conversion clinic); sometimes "formal" criteria change as we learn more about what's common, what's uncommon, what's uncommon but irrelevant, etc, and when the criteria changes drastically enough it doesn't make sense to pretend the old studies perfectly apply to the new criteria. If you found a study defining "sex" specifically and exclusively as penetration with a dick which says gay men have as much sex as straight men but lesbians don't, it's not necessarily wrong as far as it goes but if THAT'S your prime citation for "gay men have more sex than lesbians", especially if you keep trying to apply it in contexts which obviously use a broader definition, there are gonna be a lot of people disagreeing with you and it won't be because they're stubbornly unscientific.

Also Zucker is pro conversion therapy. Yes, pro converting trans people to cis people, but also pro converting gay people to straight people. That doesn't necessarily affect his results, i just find it funny how many people enthusiastically support his findings as evidence transitioning is… basically anti-gay conversion therapy? (even though plenty of trans people transition to gay? including T4T people so even the "that's actually just how straight people try to get with gay people" rationale for gay trans people is incredibly weak? and also HRT has a relatively low but non-zero chance of changing sexual orientation so it wouldn't even be reliable as a means of "becoming straight"? but a guy who couldn't reliably tell the difference between a tomboy and a trans boy figured out the former is more common than the latter + in one whole country where being trans is legal but being gay is not, sometimes cis gay people transition, so OBVIOUSLY that means sexism and homophobia are the driving factors even in countries with significant transphobia. or something.) anyway i hope zucker knows and hates how many gay people and allies are using his own study to trash-talk any attempts to be Less Gay. ideally nobody would take his nonsense seriously at all but it doesn't seem we'll be spared from that any time soon so i will take my schadenfreude where i can.

Steensma's studies have the exact same problem re: irrelevant criteria so "well someone ELSE had the same results!" is not exactly convincing. This is not "oh trans people are refusing to pay attention to these studies because they disagree with them regardless of scientific rigor", it's "one biased guy using outdated criteria found exactly the numbers everyone would expect based on that criteria, i can't imagine why trans people are treating those numbers as relevant to the past criteria but not present definitions, let's find a SECOND guy using outdated criteria. Why do people keep saying the outdated criteria is not relevant to the current state of trans healthcare. Don't we all know it's quantity over quality with scientific studies. (Please don't ask what the quantity of studies disagreeing with me is.)"

Steensma also counted patients as 'not persisting as transgender' if they ghosted him on follow-up which counted for a third of his study's "detransitioners" and a fifth of the total subjects and. look. i'm not saying none of them detransitioned, or assuming they all didn't would be notably more accurate, but i think we can safely treat twenty percent of subjects as a bit high for making a default assumption, especially when some of them might have simply not been interested in a study on whether or not they still know who they are. Fuck knows i've seen pro-trans studies which didn't make assumptions about the people who didn't respond still get prodded by anti-trans people insisting "the number of people claiming they don't regret transitioning can't possibly be so high, some of the people who responded must have been lying. (Scientific rigor means thinking studies which disagree with me are wrong even if the only explanation is the subjects lying and studies which agree with me are right even if we need to make assumptions about a lot of subjects to get there.)"

and this is not new information. not the issues with zucker, not the issues with steensma, not any of the issues because this is not a new study, it's a review of older studies, which in itself doesn't mean "bad" or "useless" -- sometimes that allows connecting some previously-unconnected dots -- but the idea this is going to absolutely blow apart the Woke Media, vindicate Rowling and Lineham, and "save" ""gay"" children from """being forcibly transed""" is bullshit. At most it'll get dragged around and eagerly cited by all the people looking for anything vaguely scientific-sounding to justify their beliefs, and maybe even people who only read headlines and sound bites will buy it, but the people who really believe it will be people who already agreed with all its "findings" and have already been dragging around the existing studies and are just excited to have a shiny new citation for it.

the response from people who've been really reading research on transgender people all along is going to be more along the lines of "……yeah. yeah, i already knew about that. do you need a three-page essay on why i don't think it means what you think it means? because i don't have time for that homework right now but maybe i can pencil it in for next semester if you haven't learned how to check your own sources by then."

[kiefbowl]

i think fred is funny in drag because he’s not wearing drag to make fun of women in general, he’s just in costume to make a silly character that happens to be a woman

You know, I think there is something to this. Personally, I'm a little more neutral on cross dressing for comedy in general. I understand the general arguments of "the comedy of men dressing as women is assumed inherent because 1. women are worth degrading 2. femininity is inherently humiliating and ridiculous" and yadda yadda a host of other arguments. I just don't like writing off ~gender bending~ art immediately, I find that's a fairly conservative knee jerk reaction. I'd rather take each piece of media as it is, examine it from multiple contexts, etc. So if there's cross dressing in a comedy, I think there's a difference between putting a buff man in a ridiculously tiny dress to go "tee-hee, shoes!!!" as the inherent joke, and a male actor being a female character or a female actor being a male character.

I think the most successful cross dressing is when the design gives only the vaguest suggestion of the other sex, but the general facial features of the person aren't obscured too much. This is successful, I think in part, because the differences between men and women are fewer than most people are comfortable with. Obviously, there are some very big significant differences, but also there are spectrum differences that are only more apparent to us because we culturally highlight them. Which is just a complicated way of saying a man that looks like a man can also have big doe eyes, and a woman that looks like a woman can have a hard cut jaw...or w/e. there can be a billion examples.