#obviously at some point i'll make this look Pretty
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disgruntleddemon · 2 days ago
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i've racked my brain trying to figure out an in character way for Shifty to be integrated into the better world timeline main cast, but i'm throwing my hat it. they can be a little ooc for this. this is pretty long, so i'll put it under a cut:
sometime after Fiddleford moves in, but before him and Ford are officially together, the trio goes to check on the bunker (ford mentions planning on doing this in j3, so yayyy, an excuse for them to be there)
they quickly realize the cryotube is broken, and shifty has escaped (how did this happen? is that when shifty escaped in cannon? i have no idea, man) anyway, Fiddleford needs to go in with them to fix it, so Ford and Stan are on shifty hunting duty. meanwhile, shifty saw them, and assumes Stan is another shapeshifter
at some point, Ford and Stan get separated, so Shifty goes to Stan like "idk what that guy told you, but it's probably a lie. lets help each other escape!" Stan uses this to lure him to Ford lol
this is where we get the big confrontation/conversation between everyone. shifty wants out cause he was taken by Ford and Fiddleford for the sole purpose of being experimented on and being used to test the cryotubes. he wanted the journal to get new forms as a defense, and to use it as a guide for escape and life on the outside.
he's been playing nice at the moment and not attacking anyone to prove he'll be fine now. he just wants to go to the surface and live his life like he was supposed to if Ford had never found him.
every one else is not sure what to do. well, mostly Ford and Stan. Fiddleford is pretty set on the "put him back in the tube" approach
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Ford is really flip flopping, he has a lot of trust issues after Bill, Shifty's original betrayal affected him, and it hurt Fiddleford (which was probably the worst part to Ford). but, he does see Shifty's perspective and feels kind of guilty.
i think i've spent like a week trying to figure out how they settle things, and i'm kinda calling it quits with that too. my best idea is a microchip. basically, Ford points out the cryotube thing really was unethical, and it broke before so it might again. plus, if they just leave shifty down there, he might tunnel his way out anyway, he's already forming some. and finally, killing him would also be unethical, and also a waste of an incredible scientific discovery .
so they decide to chip him and keep him at the cabin as a trial run. not great that shifty's still a prisoner, but i couldn't see them just letting him go. the chip, made by Fiddleford obviously, alerts them when shifty changes shape, if he manages to get it out, and prevents him from going too far out of a certain radius.
as time goes on, shifty is allowed to go further and further, and they trust him more. it's a very slow transition, that's mostly a matter of shifty becoming part of the daily routine. one of those "you can pretty much get used to anything after awhile" things.
i think they realize also, that shifty's still a juvenile. he's true form is still growing and changing. i put him somewhere in the 12-14 range. i haven't decided how they go about raising him just yet, but his human disguise is pretending to be Stan's son. between the mystery trio, stan having a random son makes the most sense.
shifty likes to keep his form kinda close to looking like himself, so if ppl ask about his appearance, he just says he's albino.
the transition period from not trusting him and being a prisoner, to being a proper member of the cabin is one i'm still very undecided on. but for now, i think the summery works well enough. once he's more comfortable with himself and his place in the house, shifty becomes very mischievous and adventurous! he likes doing pranks and getting into stuff
anyways, if anyone has any suggestions about him, i'm very open to it!! he's a hard character to figure out/integrate
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max1461 · 12 hours ago
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Ok, so obviously this is not going to convince the people who already don't agree with me on this, who find it contradictory or unsatisfactory, but I'm merely stating and not defending the position in this post:
I care about about people, I care about the general population of every country equally, and I don't care about countries or nations as entities. Actually this is not quite true—I believe that caring, if coherent, has to involve some degree of adopting others' ends as your own. @tsarina-anadyomene thinks this is one characteristic of love, and I would indeed like to be able to say that in at least some minor degree I love every person (indeed every creature) in the world. Uh, Serbian nationalists care about Serbia and therefore I care about Serbia, at least a little bit.
But governments, well, first of all fewer people care about governments qua governments as much as they care about nations in the abstract, but more importantly I think that governments as individual entities do a lot of really heinous shit that makes it impossible for me to like them. This is distinct from any anarchist position that the state should not exist—it's more like, point at any individual national government. Do I like those guys? Do I think those are good guys? Well they do some good stuff, they keep the roads paved, hopefully, deliver the mail, all that's great. But they also do a lot of killing and torture, and economic sabotage and shit like that, that hurts a lot of people. And the closer you get to the top, the closer you are to discussions of "grand strategy", the more you're explicitly or implicitly talking about shit like economic sabotage and killing people and the less you're talking about delivering the mail. I guess building roads definitely comes up, and that's good, but it's always "building more roads than the other guys so we can sabotage and/or kill them better" which is :/
I've always been a little contrarian on governments. I've always been a little bit of the famed "median voter" on governments. Get me talking about my preferred system and I'll sound sound like those peasants from Monty Python. Uh. I've made a bunch of posts about it. I want some kind of decentralized, directly democratic, cooperative, federated bullshit like the ancoms talk about for real life and the techno-libertarians talk about for software. Everything other than that is, uh, bullshit, it's the man keeping you down, man. But second place, if we don't get that? I'll take a well-run oligarchy, I'll take the façade of democracy to reduce political violence and attract foreign investment while a party of crony-capitalist technocrats actually runs the show, I'll take the 1955 system before the Plaza Accords, you get the idea. Representative democracy is a sham, basically, it's a sham. So if you're not going to give me freedom, which none of the liberal democracies do, at least give me peace, stability, and prosperity—which they're pretty good at!
But this means I look at, say, China, and I think... sucks they don't have freedom of speech, that's a big issue for me. I mean not so big an issue that I couldn't live there, just a big issue. I'd strongly like it to be otherwise. But the rest of it? Single party state? Who cares. Standard of living is high (for the urban middle class—actually this is my biggest issue with Chinese policy at the moment, they need to do massive wealth redistribution towards the rural poor) but anyway, standard of living is high, there's political stability, it's fucking fine. I hung out with a tone of Chinese international students in college and none of them were like, unhappy with the state of China, although the really wealthy ones all wanted to park their wealth abroad for pretty obvious reasons—
Right, that's another thing China needs to fix: fears about overall stability lead the local elites to siphon money out of the economy and park it abroad. I think, as a non-expert, it seems like Xi's rise and centralization of power have been worse for this. Go back to Deng, go back to term limits and power sharing! God I love Deng Xiaoping.
Uh, freedom is a ruse, uh, Ted K was lowkey right that in a modern techno-world freedom is kind of a ruse. I mean people have to be uh, we have to act or be made to act like worker bees if we want a hive this big and cantankerous to function. Uh, sucks man, sucks that we had to choose between freedom and antibiotics. Maybe we don't, right, that's my whole idea. You know how they had the Juche idea, Kim and his assholes had the Juche idea, well I also have an idea. Maybe we can have decentralized, directly democratic control of economic and civil institutions and still maintain a modern industrial economy. Maybe we can escape Ted K's trap <- new name for it I am inventing. Well one can dream, one can solve a lot of math problems and maybe one day I'll read a bunch of econ books and solve the right math problems and discover the answer. Marx, I love Marx I'm a genuine Marx fan but he doesn't have it. Sorry. Just does not got it. Soviet Union was in a Ted K trap just like all the others. They drained the Aral sea bro! That's hard to forgive...
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rookedcrow · 3 months ago
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so while i'm still in the middle of my playthrough for emilia!rook, i still wanted to be able to keep track of the little bits and pieces of her backstory and #justlittlerookthings that come up based on reactions to in game events and my talking nonstop about her outside of it. also as a reminder, as far as my rook's canon is concerned, any mention of luc.anis is @spitecrow, specifically 💜.
emilia is born in trevis.o, her parents ( distantly orlesian by a generation or three, but nothing about that place holds any significance for anyone in the family, tbh. and don't hold your breath for too many kind words about the chantry coming out of her mouth ) both working within king fulgen.o II's household. it's here emliia's mother sarah befriends viag.o's mother, and even though viag.o is a good few years older than her, the two often will play together ( more like viag.o's patient enough to deal with the ball of energy that is a young emilia ). her parents pass when she's 11, and with no other place to go, viag.o suggests she joins him in the ranks of the crows. ( she'll joke that he's reached the peak of desperation for a sibling since the vast majority of the king's illigitimate children opt for exile. )
up until joining the crows, her name is florrent, like her parents. as a gesture of love to her ( adoptive, but don't say it in front of her ) big brother, she takes on the surname 'de riva'.
viag.o tries to have her follow in his footsteps as a poisoner extraordinare, but emilia has a tendency to sometimes .... improvise some of the recipes. she's gotten herself pretty ill on more than one occasion unintentionally. it doesn't mean she's terrible at mixing poisons, she just has to really focus on them and take her time. 
it's about this time she ( and viag.o ) realize she's much more deft with a blade than with vials.
she focuses her talents towards dueling more than subterfuge, which results on her rising through the ranks of the crows fairly quickly.
being around crows from a relatively early age through her connection with viag.o, she absolutely 100% knows who lucani.s is ( and illari.o. and what a pain in the ass the latter is ) and has probably seen him in passing while she was still a fledgling ( probably with little baby birb heart eyes tbh ). so we are ignoring any / all dialogue choices in the se.a of blood questline that makes it sound like roo.k has no idea who the demon of vyrantiu.m is or his reputation. she knows.
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the crows will call her rook after her return to trevis.o, no exceptions. not even viag.o or tei.a. there's only two people who can / will call her emilia, and it's saved for private conversations. varri.c of course uses emilia when he needs her to listen ( 'kid' is far more playful. if she hears him say emilia, she knows she's in trouble. ) .... or if one of them was sure they were .02 seconds away from meeting the Maker. the other is lucani.s / spitecrow and he's got very good timing when it comes to using it.
speaking of, a shared headcanon w/ spitecrow is that after they're committed to each other, lucani.s gives rook a small vial of his blood for her to keep. ( metric wrote a beautiful post about it and there's no way i'm going to even attempt to summarize, so please go look at their gorgeous writing here ) it's a gesture and a token of his feelings she certainly doesn't take lightly --- especially knowing all about the last time someone had his blood in a vial. she wears it always, tucked under her leathers or whatever she cares to wear around the lighthouse. in several ways, it's the most precious thing she owns.
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#justlittlerookthings ( will be updated!! )
hates water. especially deep water she can't see the bottom of.
her sweet tooth is made worse after being able to visit tervi.so again; there's a pastry shop that makes amaretti cookies that she would probably kill for. ( but not yet, ..... today )
sombra de riva is her adopted stray cat from trevis.o and unofficial official veil.guard companion.
sees bellar.a very much as a little sister regardless of age. it's very must protect the vei.l jump.er. mostly from herself.
way too competitive when it comes to wicke.d grace. scary poker - face levels. do not engage unless you want to lose your shirt.
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sysig · 4 months ago
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The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#As if it wasn't bad enough when it was just Doran oh no - I knew I'd want a separate tag for this in earnest at some point ahhhh#Damned#Alright sure lol good enough - I'll go back and edit the tag in a bit#I just can't help it wahh the Institute is such a fun and interesting setting it scratches my brain in Such a way#It's been really fun poking around to see who's there but there are some who I'm like ''Why wasn't [x] there? :0''#Some make sense lol like characters that didn't exist/come into the cultural vogue until after the game started or ended#Totally understand that - and it's still really fun to speculate how they'd react! Very enjoyable!#But others - like the above - I'm just like But they existed before the game and are such fun characters! Why!#Neverminding that Osmosis Jones was yet another box office flop in an impressive lineup of likewise siblings oof lol#It'd be such a good movie......if only (lol) Like I love it! But yeah it's still pretty rough haha#Gosh if the animated sections aren't beautiful tho hh <3#The show's even rougher - like why choose a nearly PG-13 movie to turn into a Y-10 (at the Most) cartoon? The tone shift is so jarring lol#So yeah! Why weren't these characters a more popular draw five years later! That's practically still pop culture! Lolol#No I'm well aware I'm probably The entire pool of people interested in this crossover but hey - I offer >:3c#Obviously I had to have Ozzy judging me for subjecting him to the Institute - this is what you get for being a fave Oz <3#Thrax is All over him (a criminal) and Ozzy (a cop) being equalized in the same prison uniform lol - I mean yes but actually no#It's an escape game of course he wants out#I have way too much fun making ''real person'' profiles wagh I've already made a bunch of backstory stuff helpppp#The names are pulled around from the various voice actors/real names based on character names which was Quite fun#And of course Oz had to get punched :) That meme's not completely dead yet is it lol#But really it was just fun posing ahhh I'm really rather pleased with it <3 Excited to scene-stitch that one together too#Drix fussing over Oz is my favourite ahhhh yesss <3 <3#Can you tell that hunched-over Thrax was my first pass? Here's a hint - he doesn't have a burned finger there!#I wrote up his profile after that one and forgot to add it afterwards haha but yeah! Just barely touched on in-fic so far lol#And then him in his proper clothes.... Look all I'm saying is that I was uniquely primed in my media diet to enjoy Vargas lol
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perilegs · 10 months ago
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i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans
#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was#a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha''#yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans#i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that#but it's still a bit. hmmm.#also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute#i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way#but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my#wavy hair and slight babyface and round features#which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man#as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this#though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c#well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow#also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which#once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans#the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy#oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute#face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man#and i love that#but also one of these ppl is not cis#if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people#but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans#but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im#living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow#but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl.#anyways i dont want to ruin our broship#i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared#agh idk#leevi talks
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cassmouse · 10 months ago
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Working on my new main original project atm and-
'I'm not gonna go overboard on the poetic romance'
'I'm NOT going to make this too much of a romance'
And then
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Oh my god I am going overboard with the romance
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sukunasweetheart · 3 months ago
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Being the bane of sukunas existence as you're his girlfriend because you act like a perverted old man around him... he kinda digs it tho, its mildly hilarious and he doesn't dislike the unhinged attention (he tries to be so lowkey about it)
Every once in a while, you'll caress his behind or fondle his big boobily man breasts, the same way he does to you. he was only stunned at first - now he is completely unphased by your sneaky little hands.
he texts you, asking you what you want for dinner, and he's not surprised when the answer is "i want you oiled up and naked in bed by the time i get home". then he just replies with "making pasta"
Big obnoxious smacking noises when you kiss him all over, and sukuna just lets you be, he'll be sitting on the couch turning the tv on and here you come, smooching his cheek. sometimes, its the top of his head, other times, its his forehead or neck. if you do it too much though, you'll get covered with his bite marks in return.
when sukuna gets up to go to the toilet, you ask him if you can hold his peepee while he takes a piss, bc you saw a funny tiktok talking about it... he gives you a silent judgmental stare as he closes the door on your face. but behind it, he lets out the tiniest snort and shakes his head bc the idea of it is so ridiculous.
one time when you go outdoor camping with him you genuinely accidentally stumble close to sukuna who is taking a leak in the forest bush area and he catches you staring from behind as he's buttoning himself back up. and then he's chasing you down while you're screaming that it was an accident and that you only heard him peeing and didn't actually see anything. (not that you don't know what it looks like, anyway.)
when he's sweaty after a workout or some physical exertion, you'll definitely be approaching him deviously, talking about some "covered in flavour" type of bullshit... he'll push your face away and head into the shower but his ears are flushed with red.
just... sukuna who will let u mack on him endlessly bc he secretly doesn't hate the doting 🥹🥹🥹 and if you're not being obnoxiously lewd or affectionate?? thats when he knows something's up...
and obviously, every now and then you'll say something that makes him know that you're not just lusting over his body.
during a walk back home on a summer afternoon, you point upwards while holding his hand and looking up.
"sukuna, look. you're in the sky."
he reluctantly looks up, expecting some sort of dick shaped cloud or something like that. but there are no clouds in sight.
"what is there to look at?" he asks, quizzically.
"the colour, silly. when the sun's still setting, the sky always gets like this, around the same time everyday. the pretty pinkish colour, like your hair."
he turns silent and observes the sky for a minute. you call him silly, as if it's an everyday thing that you compare a person with the literal sky.
"it's my favourite time of the day..." you mumble, just barely audible to his ears. and something about the way you stand there, and speak so softly, makes you look so pretty to him. "i'll always think of you when the sun is setting."
"oh- but i think of you everyday regardless, i suppose."
he already knows that. he already knows you love him. why does he feel so flushed right now?
"alright, i get it. enough. let's continue home," he urges you, holding your hand tighter. you follow him down the street, like a puppy.
life couldn't feel more at peace right now, with your fingers interlocked with his, listening to you hum your favourite song on the way home, the street now covered with the orange light of the sunset.
"any ideas for dinner?" he asks, a few minutes after some silence.
"mmm..."
oh, he regrets asking the question now, fully knowing what's coming.
"i want your tatas in my mouth, please."
"tatas?" sukuna's asks with furrowed brows.
after bursting into laughter at the way he said it, you attempt to think up an actual food you want for dinner.
"...just for tonight." sukuna mutters.
"huh?"
"don't ask me again, i might change my mind."
"wait- really?"
let's just say, your mouth had a taste of heaven for the first time that night.
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mrsstarkey1 · 3 months ago
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getting rafe hooked on dress to impress
my fav thing i’ve ever written i can’t even lie
word count: 1.2k
obx masterlist
you yawned loudly and abnoxiously as you walked into rafe’s bedroom. you kicked your shoes off, grabbing one of rafe’s t-shirts from his drawer, changing out of your uncomfortable clothes. “didn’t think you were coming back, it’s late as fuck.” rafe said, looking at you oddly as he sat up on the bed against the headboard.
“longest fucking day of my life. need to unwind.”
rafe smirked, reaching his whole body over the bed to grab your forearm. "like the sound of that," he mumbles.
you let yourself move toward him, but you groan, “not like that.” rafe momentarily pouts, but doesn’t let go of your arm. in fact, he pulls you closer onto the bed with him urging you to cuddle up into him.
he snakes his arm around you, soft fingers tracing circles into your side. "wanna talk about it?"
you yawn and shake your head, "nah, can we just watch a movie or something?"
rafe nods, grabbing the TV remote from the nightstand. "you don't wanna watch some chick-flick do you?" he asks, grimacing already.
you sigh dramatically, “i guess not. fast and furious?”
rafe obligies, satisfied with your suggestion. you get comfortable on the bed, your head rested on rafe's shoulder and your phone rested on his chest as you scroll through tiktok.
about 20 minutes later, you see a video about the new halloween update on dress to impress and gasp before you can stop yourself. rafe jumps slightly, eyes wide. “jesus christ, what’s wrong?”
"sorry, nothing," you grin apologetically, "can I borrow your laptop though?"
he looks at you like you've lost your mind, but he still grabs his macbook from the nightstand, handing it over to you. you sit up excitedly, leaning up against the headboard.
you open the laptop and sign into your roblox account, side eyeing rafe as he gives you an odd look. "the fuck are you doing?"
"playing a game," you respond innocently.
he raises his eyebrows, "roblox? wheezie used to play that shit.. when she was 8," he says, judging you hardcore.
you glare at him, "you don't understand," you sigh. "just watch me play, it's genuinely fun."
he watches you click on dress to impress, making a disgusted face. "yeah I can't defend you on this one," he says and you shove his shoulder.
"well have you ever played dress to impress?" you ask him.
"obviously not," he says, his sassy side on full display.
"well don't judge then. just watch and i'll let you play a round when i'm done," you say with a smile, patting his cheek softly.
"hell nah," he says, directing his attention back to the movie.
you shake your head, giving up on getting him to play. you start a round, looking around at all the new pieces they added. the theme is holiday for your first round, so of course you do halloween.
you notice rafe's eyes on the computer screen as his curiosity clearly starts to creep back in despite himself. he watches as you piece together combination of a witch hat, spiderweb dress, and dark boots.
“what even is this shit?” he asks, trying to sound nonchalant but clearly intrigued.
you grin, not taking your eyes off the screen since you only have a minute left. “you compete with other people to make the best outfit based on a theme. you'd be pretty good at it, you've got great style," you say, trying to persuade him.
he gives you a look, shaking his head, "sounds dumb as fuck," he says, and you just laugh. he's silent for a moment before turning slightly to have a better view of the screen, "so what you just like... dress them up and shit?"
you nod, watching the time run out. "yes, then everyone votes on each outfit and the top 3 get on the podium. see," you point to the screen, "the voting's starting now."
an outfit that's completely off theme struts down the runway and you grimace, "see like that one's ugly as fuck so i give it a 1. oooh look, this ones mine," you say with a proud smile. "doesn't she look great?"
rafe shrugs, "i guess."
you ended up getting third place, losing to two terrible outfits. you curse under your breath, before turning to him. “you wanna try a round?” you smile, looking up at him.
rafe scoffs, glancing back at the movie, but curiosity gets the better of him. “alright, fine, hand it over.” he takes the laptop.
"okay the theme is beach day," you tell him.
he hums in response, looking around at the clothes aimlessly. "rafe, you gotta pick something that actually matches,” you say, stifling a laugh as he pairs a yellow bikini top with neon green shorts.
"shh, I have a vision," he says, dismissing your words. "wait why the fuck doesn't she have a face?"
"you gotta go to the makeup and hair room, over there," you point at the screen.
he scrolls through the makeup options, finally decided on one. "mhm, she bad ain't she?" you chuckle, knowing rafe is secretly loving this.
time runs out just as he adds the coconut drink, and you see him watching the screen eagerly, waiting for the voting to end. one girl dressed in long pants and a jacket walks out and he looks over at you, disgusted, "this bitch didn't even look at the theme." all you can do is laugh and nod your head in agreement.
when rafe places second, he smirks, looking way too pleased with himself. "ha," he says, "i did better than you."
you roll your eyes. "yeah you're done playing," you say, snatching the laptop back.
the next night, you texted rafe that you were gonna come over after your morning shift and you didn't get a response, which was odd. you let yourself into his house with the key he'd given you. "rafe?" you called out, walking into the living room. "you here?" no response.
you furrowed your eyebrows, walking up the stairs. maybe he was just in his room, you thought, taking a nap or something. you creak open his bedroom door, met with the scene of him sitting on his bed, looking intently at his laptop.
his eyes shoot up to look at you and he slams his laptop closed, guilty look in his eye. you raise your eyebrows, "what were you doing?" you question him, walking toward the bed.
he rubs the back of his neck with his hand, shaking his head. "nothin.'"
your eyes narrow, "were you watching porn?" you joke, sitting down next to him.
he sighs, "worse.." he trails off. he mentally debates for a minute, before pulling his laptop back into his lap, opening it slowly to reveal dress to impress on full display.
your hand shoots to cover your mouth, laugh escaping your lips anyway. all he does is glare at you, "this is your fucking fault."
you lean into him with a laugh, "I know I know, sorry. don't be embarrassed, rafe." you press a kiss to his lips.
as you kiss him, you can’t help but laugh again, glancing at his screen. "okay wait that's actually a cute outfit. you're getting good," you nudge him, "fashionista," you add quietly with a chuckle.
he looks at you straight-faced, "I'm only playing this dumbass game because you dragged me into it. i was just bored so,” he gestures to the screen.
“sure, rafe, whatever you say,” you tease, cuddling up beside him. "feel free to keep playing, don't stop at my expense."
he scoffs, but gives in and restarts the game.
you wrap your arm around his middle and watch as he puts together outfit after outfit, the grin rarely leaving your face.
you just love your little fashionista.
----
requests are OPEN 💌
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ozzgin · 3 months ago
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OZZ OMG OMG OMG THAT YANDERE PRISON THING OMG OMG OMG
*jitters with excitement*
I NEED MORE AHHHHH IT TICKLED MY BRAIN THE RIGHT AND WRONG WAY AT THE SAME TIME
Like if you're nice they'll just become your dogs and if you're not nice they'll give you a very rough foursome I'm down for either OMG OMG OMG help I have problems
To quote Markiplier: "I'm not a masochist, this is about power"
*drops dead*
*instantly revives*
Ahem, I saw you mention you might come up with small plots, so I'll do the logical thing to try to inspire you:
- clueless darling ask the leaders about their gangs and whatnot. Like nonchalantly. Because they're too nice darling thought it's no big deal lol
- darling subconsciously avoid blonde man (even tho he is my favourite hahah) after seeing him beat up the guy
- darling got drunk (somehow in a prison) and either gets horny (and try to let it out under the blankets forgetting they got roommates)or innocently touchy hugging all three of them and poking their unique features, sitting in their laps and so on. Or better yet, touches/approaches other inmates in front of the roommates...
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content: gender neutral reader, alcohol consumption, NSFW below the cut!
Inmates are creative. They will always find a way around the rules, and this time it happened to be a rather clumsy attempt at brewing alcohol. Had this been discovered by a guard, whoever concocted the beverage would've landed in detention.
Instead, it was you who found it, innocently assuming someone must've forgotten their water behind. You gulped down the clear liquid, thirsty after you walk, then promptly grimaced at its unexpected bitterness.
Safe to say you're now quite drunk.
That in itself would already be troublesome enough, but another thing is endangering yours and everyone else's peace: you're in a particularly flirty mood.
"What the hell are you doing?"
The officer's smile drops instantly, and he turns towards the deep voice. One of your criminal roommates glares at the sight with hollow eyes. You were clinging to the officer's arm, a dumb grin plastered on your face. The man in uniform quickly shoves you aside, his features pale and drained.
"It wasn't me who started it," he pleads.
You're quickly picked up by your bunkie, who is still staring at the guard. He won't be leaving this prison alive, that's for sure. Now, however, his priorities lie somewhere else.
The hallway spins as you're being carried away, and you shamelessly cling to your ride, feeling and groping the muscles and tracing along his tattooed skin.
"My God, at least wait until we're back to our cell," he groans with flushed cheeks.
The blonde one is trying to play it cool. Come, now, you're obviously out of it. He needs to be mature and tuck you in, or something along the line.
Easier said than done, especially with a raging boner. You're quick to notice it, and you certainly don't hesitate to point it out, making lewd gestures with your hands as some sort of offer.
"Are you sure you won't regret it tomorrow?"
"Hey now, I'm drunk, not unconscious," you bark between hiccups.
He may have interrogated you further, but the thought of your pretty little mouth struggling to take him in is too much to bear. He's essentially drooling by the time he pats his knee for you to come over.
The pierced one drops you on your bed with a flat expression. Annoyance? A closer look at his pursed lips, and one can tell he's really just struggling to maintain his composure.
"Please, I really need to-"
You hold him back by the arm and bat your eyelashes. In return, he clicks his tongue. Is this some sort of test from above? His beloved Darling is essentially begging to be fingered. Yet, he shouldn't be taking advantage of your state. He shouldn't...
Too late. You gasp at his rough fingers making their way in.
"Alright, don't be too loud," he concludes with a faint smirk.
The masked one gently places you on your bed, then plants himself before you with crossed arms.
"Nonsense. You're drunk."
"I mean it", you repeat yourself.
He does his best to look imposing. Truth be told, his knees weakened from the moment "fuck me" slipped out of your mouth. He gladly would, but he has morals. Well, when it comes to you, anyways.
Your pout seems to suggest this would be a long standoff. He sighs, then pushes you back onto the mattress.
"How about this? I'll take care of it," he explains quietly, his cloth hovering above your groin. "I'll be awaiting your offer again once you're sober."
For now, his tongue will have to do.
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[Yandere Prison] | [More Yandere Stories]
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pretty-little-mind33 · 1 year ago
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James Potter x slytherin!fem!reader
Summary: When your "friends" play a dangerously stupid prank on you, James is the last person you'd think would help you.
Genre: Fluff, hurt and comfort <3
Warning: swearing, mentions of being drugged/drunk, violence, mentions of blood, protective!James
JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST
When James sees you walk into the classroom with an unusually cheery smile, he can't look away.
"Sirius," he pauses and leans in closer to his friend, "does she look unwell to you?" James whispers, clearly concerned for you. Sirius lets his chin rest on his palms as he looks over at you nonchalantly.
You almost trip on your shoe-laces as you make your way to your desk and you laugh a little too loudly, but only James seems to notice that particular detail.
"Y/l/n? She seems quite happy to me," Sirius's smirk is heard in his voice but James doesn't look amused. 
"No, something's wrong. She's usually quiet and she," he doesn't finish his sentence when he sees your friends in the corner of the classroom.
Some of them look as concerned as he is while most hide smiles and snickers behind their hands as they look at you. James's eyes bounce back to you and his frown deepens. Something is wrong. Instantly, he's on his feet.
"Prongs!?" Sirius sounds surprised but it's no use trying to stop him because James is already on his way to you.
Just as you raise your arm to run a hand in your – already annoyed – desk partner's hair, James quickly swoops in and catches your wrist. You pause and when you turn your head to look at him, your smile widens. 
"Potter!" you slur.
James can be an idiot sometimes, but he does know you're not drunk. He's never seen you drink. You look dizzy and he comes to the conclusion you must be under the influence of some kind of spell. He looks you over and sees the nasty cut on your knee. Anger bubbles in his stomach as he remembers how your friends somehow found this all incredibly funny. 
You tilt your head at him slightly and say, "You have pretty eyes, did you know that?" you smile a smile James usually loves and was never directed at him before, but by now the entire classroom has their eyes on you and, because he knows you would hate all this unnecessary attention, James helps you stand.
You let out a breathy giggle when his hands find your waist and hold you steady.  
"What are you doing?" a shrill voice asks from behind him and James clenches his jaw. He turns around. It's one of your friends. She's also in Slytherin and as hard as he tries, James can't remember her name.
"Helping your friend," he says blankly, "She seems a little out of it, doesn't she?"
"She's fine," your friend rolls her and tucks her dark hair behind her ear. "Aren't you, Y/n?" she asks you with a faint smirk.
Your body sways and James's arms move from your waist and swoops around you to hold under your armpits. "I'm okay — y-yeah, I'm okay. I feel better than fine," You mutter, eyelids fluttering slightly as you giggle at his touch.
James isn't at all convinced you're okay. 
Your friend's cruel smirk and the mystery of how you've bruised your knee leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
"She's bleeding," he states as calmly as he can. 
"She's just clumsy." 
"She's obviously been hexed or something," James narrows his eyes.
Your friend laughs at his accusatory tone. "What? And you think I did it?"
"Yeah, actually, I do."
At this point, it's obvious you aren't paying attention to their argument as you start to play with James's collar. His cheeks flush pink as your hair skims his chin and the smell of your shampoo fills the air.
"Well if you won't tell me what happened to her, then I'll find out myself," he says and his hand moves to hold yours. "Come on," he whispers sweetly and you let him lead you out of the classroom.
James is extremely careful with you. He makes sure you don't trip in the hallway, or run into any doors and walls, and more importantly he stays with you when the nurse comes to make sure you're okay.
He leans over the hospital bed as his hand hover over your knee as he asks, "What's happened to her?" 
"Veritaserum," the nurse says as she presses her palm on your forehead. 
"The truth serum?" James is confused. "Doesn't that make someone tell the truth? Why would it make her act so," he turns his head to look at you and conflicting emotions creates what feels like an empty pit in his stomach. You look so beautiful with your eyes blown wide as you glance around the room. "So ditzy?" he finishes in an endeared whisper.
"It isn't uncommon as everyone can have different reactions," The nurse explains as she gently inspects your knee, "I think whoever made this potion must not be particularly skilled."
James clenches his fist around his cloak and tries to remind himself that you probably wouldn't want him to beat up your so-called-friends.
"What's happening to me?" your voice comes out strained as you try and focus on their conversation as you catch on to their confused faces. 
"Nothing, honey, you're fine. Your friend was worried and he," 
You interrupt her, "James Potter? Oh, he isn't my friend." You look up at James and his smile disappears. He's embarrassed as he searches your face for any indication that you're joking but clearly you aren't because you ask him. "Potter, do you even know my name?" You sound serious.
James hesitates to answer, "Of course I know your name, Y/n," he finally admits.
He doesn't expect your eyes to light up but they do and you turn to the nurse, "He does know my name," you whisper with a smile.
James's heart swells at how happy you seem and he smirks a little. Amused, the nurse lets you continue, "You'know," you lean in closer and mutter just loud enough for James to hear without you knowing, "I really like him."
Surprised, his heart jumps and the nurse panics as he quickly shuts you up. "Alright honey, let's clean up this nasty little wound and then wait for the potion to pass, ok?" you nod and focus on her as she waves her wand across your knee and the cut disappears. 
Once she's done, the nurse turns to James and says, "I know you must be curious, Potter, but I think Y/l/n should be alone while she recovers," the nurse turns to you again and looks at you sympathetically.
"He can stay!" you insist, "I want him to stay."
James looks into your eyes and he wonders how he can even think of disappointing you.
But, when he looks at the nurse again his heart sinks. He can't stay, he knows he can't. It would be unfair. You deserve to keep your secrets — all those feelings you wouldn't share with him normally — hidden away in your pretty little head. 
James knows he can't take those away from you so he nods, stuffs his hands in his pockets, and sends you a lopsided smile. "I'll see you around, mmh?" 
He leaves before he can focus on the way you called his name because if he does, he knows he'd feel compelled to rush back in and stay by your side. On his way back to the classroom, he can't help but smile as he remembers your words. Only, his smile disappears the moment he hears your friends in the hallway. 
James stops in front of them and they do the same. The girl from earlier crosses her arms. "What's your issue, Potter?" she snarls, "Where's Y/n?"
James refuses to answer her question. "You gave her the Veritaserum, didn't you?" he accuses and some of your friend's squirm guiltily. The dark-haired girl just smirks.
"So what if we did? She isn't dying, is she? It was funny," she turns to your other friends with a grin and they nod meekly. "You should have seen her stumbling around, she wasn't even fazed when she fell and scraped her knee on the cobblestones. It was hilarious," she continues.
James's face burns from the points of his ears to his cheeks. "Hilarious?!" he repeats, his voice stern, "What kind of friends find it funny when their friend hurts themselves? She didn't know about the Veritaserum, did she?" 
The girl shakes her head but one of your other friends interrupts. He's a tall, lanky Slytherin with icy blue eyes and vibrant auburn hair.
"Of course she didn't know, Potter. It wouldn't be as fun if she did. I would think you would understand," he admits with a grin.
James's hands shake as he stares at your friend rambling. The boy only chuckles and turns to his friends, amused, as he taunts, "Slipped the potion in her drink myself this morning."
He doesn't finish his sentence as James punches him. He stumbles back into the girls, cupping his hands around his nose, as they shriek in surprise. James shakes his hand out a little and narrows his eyes. "You don't spike someone's drink, asshole. And don't fucking insinuate I would ever do something like that to anyone!"
"What the fuck? Why do you even care?" The boy hisses as one girl holds his shoulder and tends to him. "You're crazy." 
And sure, maybe James was crazy but he won't tolerate someone hurting you. 
Ever. 
* * *
"James, just give the poor girl some space," Remus sighs as he tries to concentrate on his essay. "She's gone through enough these last few days. Haven't you heard the rumors going around? They're brutal."
James resists the scream that bubbles in his throat. "I know. I know. I just want to be there for her," he whines and Sirius wraps his arm around his shoulder.
"You'll just make things worse," Sirius says, "Last rumor I heard is that she faked it all for your attention." 
James clenches his jaw. "How would I make this worse? It's all so fucking cruel, Pads. She's all alone," his heart has been slowly breaking whenever he thinks of you sobbing in your dorm or sitting alone during your classes and meals. 
He shuts his eyes a moment and then sits up abruptly and says, "I know what to do."
Remus looks up and with a worried expression, his eyes widen. "Prongs," he starts but James is already standing. "Sirius! Don't let him leave!" Remus insists but it's too late because their friend is already out the Common Room door. 
When James enters the Great Hall, he pauses and searches for you. He sees you sitting alone and he becomes so angry he can't think normally.
He storms up to the Slytherin table and jumps on top of it. Some cutlery and food falls to the floor and students turn their heads. James just clears his throat, making a show as he stumbles on his feet. 
If everyone wants to gossip about something, they can gossip about this. 
With a grin, he spreads his arms and shouts, "Can I have everyone's attention?" The Great Hall turns silent and James struts down the table until he's much closer to you. You feel your cheeks heat up and you hold your breath.
Remus and Sirius run into the Great Hall, calling James's name but it's too late because James is now standing in front of you as he holds out his hand. "Y/n, will you go out with me?" He asks, his voice loud and calm.
Whispers break out as your heart thumps in your chest. You look into James's eyes, searching them and when you reluctantly take his hand he nods a little and pulls you up onto the table with him. 
Quickly, he pulls you closer and then whispers in your ear, "Say no. Trust me." 
Your frown deepens but the words leave you without thinking, "No?" 
James smirks and just subtle enough for no one to see, he kisses your cheek and pulls you away from him. Dramatically, he stumbles backwards and covers his heart. "Ow, you're killing me here, love. What will I do without you?"
If you didn't know he had just asked you to reject him, you would think he sounds genuinely hurt. As he stumbles, he trips on someone's glass and with a loud crash, he falls to the ground.
Students gasp loudly and so do you as you cover your mouth with your hands and rush to the edge of the table and peer down at him. When you see him sitting on the ground he suddenly blows a kiss up to you, a small paper bird flutters up to you and then turns into rose petals.
Your eyes widen and you can't help but laugh when James continues to make a scene and the petals fall in your hair. "You're breaking my heart, darling. Criminal," James whispers and winks dramatically. 
"James Potter, detention. Now," McGonagall's voice booms and when James sees you hide a smile behind your hand, he smiles too.
A while later, as James sweeps up McGonagall's classroom floor, all he can think of is your happy smile.
"James?" Your voice interrupts his memory and he jumps a little, turning towards the door. You stand in the doorway, a flustered look on your face as you hesitate to come inside. James drops the broom and rushes over to you. 
His knuckles hover over your cheek as he says, "Y/n, are you okay?"
Your eyes widen and you touch his hand. Gently, you pull it down to his side again as you whisper and ask, "What was that all about?"
James searches your face for anger. "I wanted to take the embarrassment off of you. You don't deserve anything that's been happening to you, love. None of it is your fault."
You look at him more seriously. "Yeah, it's been a little hard but I can handle the teasing. You shouldn't have done that," you say and James's heart clenches in his chest. 
"I'm sorry if I upset you, Y/n. I just wanted,"
You interrupt him, "No. I mean you shouldn't have asked me to say no," you pause and look up at him, "unless, you don't actually want to go out with me. But, I know you know how I feel about you and I,"
Your sentence dies and you don't know what else to say. 
James's expression softens. You look up at him, almost pleading with him, "Please don't make me repeat what I said in the Hospital Wing. It's so embarrassing, and I know you heard me. I wasn't exactly quiet."
James smirks. "When you said you like me?" he holds up his finger and pretends to ponder, "No I'm sorry, you really like me," his smile widens as he looks at you. You feel warmth in your cheeks and look away.
"Yeah, that."
"Well, I really like you too."
Your eyes widen and you look up at him. James uses his thumb to lift your chin. You realize how close your body is to his and your breath hitches in your throat. James's hand moves to your cheek, caressing it softly as you whisper, "You do?"
James lets out a breathy chuckle. "Of course I do. You're beautiful, kind, incredibly smart it's annoying," his eyes are full of admiration, "What's there not to like, darlin'?"
You frown, glancing quickly at the emblem stitched onto my robes and then you look at him again. "But, I'm a Slytherin. I didn't even think you ever knew who I was until last week. We've never really talked."
James's smile falters and his thumb moves behind your ear as he holds your cheek. "That's my fault. I should have said something sooner but with my reputation and all," he looks away, his face twisted in shame, "I didn't want to scare you away."
You see the sincerity in his eyes but ask wearily, "So it doesn't bother you?" 
"That you're in Slytherin?" James smiles a little. "No, it doesn't, love. I don't care. I've seen how you are and I think you're absolutely lovely," he catches himself, "I mean, I'm not saying Slytherin's aren't lovely,"
You shut him up with a kiss. It's confident and startling but James doesn't complain. He simply pulls you in closer and lets his mouth explore yours with a passion he didn't know he had. He didn't know how starved he was of your taste until now.
Fuck, he's fucked. 
You pull away, lips wet and stare at him. "Sorry," you mutter.
"Sorry?" James frowns and leans in to kiss you again, "Don't you dare be sorry. Just kiss me," his words leave you a mush in his arms and you're happy for his hand around your back because otherwise you would fall over. 
When he finally disconnects your lips, he leans his forehead on yours and whispers what he'd been thinking, "You'll kill me, love."
You smile and hold his arm. "Thanks for saving me by the way, when I was under the potion," you say. 
James leans away and studies your soft expression with a small smile. "I'd be an asshole not to help you. I didn't want to see you get hurt." 
"Still, if you hadn't seen that something was wrong I don't know what would have happened."
"Nothing would have happened because I was there," James insists and kisses your forehead, "I'll always be there." He adds in a whisper into your hair.
It's only for him to hear. He doesn't want to just tell you he's there for you, instead he wants to show you. Everyday.
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aliteralsemicolon · 6 months ago
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I'll wait for your love - 18+
See part 1 | See Part 2 | Part 3 of We can't be friends (wait for your love)
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The only thing you’re sure of is that you don’t want things to go back to the way they were and Spencer agrees that change may be for the best.
Spencer Reid X Fem! Reader
DISCLAIMER This story is NSFW and contains graphic depictions + detailed descriptions of adult content. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact!  You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read. 
WARNINGS: Panic attack mentioned, slight PTSD depictions, case details (barely) mentioned, alcohol mentioned like once. Smut (not the focus at all): making out, nipple play, clitoral stimulation, praise, use of pet names (angel, pretty girl, etc). Proceed at your own risk.
Word count: 10.4K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.
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Avoiding Spencer wasn’t overly difficult on the flight back to D.C. You weren’t entirely sure how to face him after he risked his life for you, so you just pretended to be asleep the whole time. You even took a separate jeep from the tarmac to avoid a car ride back with him, and almost made a clean getaway to your car in the parking lot when Hotch stopped you. 
“I’m sorry to hold you back, but I do need the Anchorage report on my desk before tomorrow morning. It can’t be put off any longer.”
He looked extremely apologetic and you understood. You’re grateful he gave you as much time as he has. That’s how you ended up stuck at work til the later hours of the evening. Besides the few workaholics, security guards and janitors roaming around the corridors, the only other person there with you is Spencer, oddly. Even Hotch has gone home. You’ve spent more time stalking the doctor work through the pile of case files on his desk than you have writing in the one on yours. Only when you're caught do you look away. 
“Everything okay?” The innocent curiosity in his big eyes further reddens the hot embarrassment in your cheeks.
“Fine.” You mutter, dipping your head back down to the open page.
You’re never going to get this damn file done if you can’t get him out of your head, and him being barely three feet away from you doesn’t help. It’s very difficult for you to get your words from pen to paper. Anchorage wasn’t haunting you like it did at first. It was a traumatic event, yes, but alone isn’t the cause of this…block. Obviously the reality that you’re leaving is starting to dawn on you. Somehow your mind has linked this case with your departure and finishing this report makes it more official than your actual resignation. 
Plus, as much as you definitely hate Spencer, you do did care for him. The shock of him almost getting himself killed in front of you is another thing occupying your mind. It’s barely been twenty four hours since then, it’s still fresh. You can see him stand and grab his satchel in your peripheral vision, he’s preparing to leave. There are a lot of memories attached to that brown leather bag. 
Things he would carry in there for you when you forgot your own bag. 
You don’t make it obvious that you’re watching him gather his things in small glances. 
He bought extra hair clips for you to keep in there because you would often forget those too. 
It’s over now. No point in dwelling on it. You shake your head once he’s out of sight, trying to force him out of your thoughts. Now that he’s gone you’re hoping to actually be able to get some work done.
He taught you chess with the mini chess set he keeps in there. You discovered that you actually quite liked chess and would ask to play with him all the time. It was also his ‘secret’ weapon to help you calm down. 
You roll your eyes to push back the tears from the memories that refuse to stop playing. This can wait until you get home, it’s not important. 
It wasn’t the chess set that helped you feel calm. Spencer could win chess against you in just a few moves, but he would deliberately stretch out the game so you could have room to breathe. The longer the game, the more time you had to spend focused on the moves and slow down your thoughts. You could open up at your own pace. He would let you feel in control.
It doesn’t matter if he’s near you or not, Spencer has a way of invading your headspace wherever he is. Your train of thoughts is interrupted with a light thud on your right. You covertly roll the tears away again and turn to examine the source of the noise. A mug of coffee placed on your desk by
“Spencer?” You sputter breathlessly. 
“Sorry. I know you told me to stop. This is the last time I promise.” 
You don’t fully comprehend what he’s going on about, not expecting him to be here at all. 
“I thought you left.”
“I did– was. I was leaving, but I thought I’d make you some coffee before I go. Since you’ve been here a while.” He awkwardly explains. 
You steadily direct your attention back to the mug, reeling in what was happening. 
“Before you get mad, this really is just a cup of coffee from a colleague who thought it might help keep you energised if you’re planning to stay late. There’s no ulterior motive…”
He continues rambling but you’re not mentally present to hear any of it. 
He made you coffee. 
Even though you’ve been nothing short of an absolute bitch. Granted he was a bitch first, but the point is that he’s still thinking of your well being regardless. You can’t hide your tears from him this time. It’s the soft buzz of your name that draws you back to him. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you! I’ll take the coffee–”
His panicked sentiment is cut short when you jump out of your seat and shove past him. The breakdown you’ve been avoiding hits you like a ton of bricks. You run into the nearest empty office and he runs after you, making it past the door before you can lock him out. 
“Spencer p–please get out! I’m fine.” You’re pacing in the same spot, fanning away the stream falling down your cheeks, hyperventilating.
He doesn’t respond to you, instead cautiously taking your hand in his. You’re in too frenzied a state to care. He guides you to sit on the couch against the wall and you blindly go along with it, still trying to get yourself together. 
You want to stop the tears, but you can’t do that until you get your breathing under control. He slowly wraps his arms around you and you slump into him, head buried in his chest. You should try to fight it, you should push him away, but you can’t. Right now, surrounded by his scent, held in his arms, you don’t want to move. It’s not something you can properly explain, but the feeling is so comforting that nothing else matters. All you know is that you’re safe and that’s enough for you to allow yourself to finally break down. 
The first few sobs are loud, like there’s not enough air in the world to stabilise your lungs. They fizzle out into silent whimpers and you grasp onto the fabric of his sweater, balling it in your fist, just letting yourself feel. Spencer still hasn’t said a word. His right hand is rubbing circles on your back and his left hand is gently scratching just above the nape of your neck. 
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You stay like that for a while, even after you’ve stopped crying. It’s been so long since you’ve been in this little bubble with him and you don’t want it to end. You pull away when you feel the strap of his satchel across his stomach as your hand drops to his lap. He visually follows every move you make. 
“You’re still wearing your bag.” You sniffle, leaning back. 
“I am.” He whispers, understanding that you no longer want to be touched. 
He stays in his original position; facing you, but now with one arm resting on top of the backrest and the other idly in his lap. You’ve moved so that now you're facing ahead with your back leaning against the cushions, pulling your knees into your chest. You had never found comfort in silence until the first time you experienced it with Spencer. Staying huddled, you divert your eyes towards him. There’s a distinct wet patch on his shirt. It’s less visible on his sweater-vest, but it’s there. 
“Your shirt’s wet now.” It’s almost impossible to make out what you’re saying with your mouth muffled against your arm, but of course, Spencer manages anyway. 
“It’ll dry.” He smiles, tone delicate. 
“But– germs.” You choke a little due to your previous crying. 
“It can be washed.” He’s using his comforting voice again. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
The silence resumes. Neither of you dares to move, trying to freeze this moment. It’s obvious that you didn’t grasp how badly you craved each other’s presence. 
“D–do…” The initial sound grabs Spencer’s full attention again. You take a deep breath, hoping he wants to stay here as much as you do. “Do you still carry that little chess set with you?”
A small, airy chuckle comes out from him. 
“Would you like to play?”
“Please.” 
He creates some more space between you and begins to set up the board once he’s pulled it out of his satchel. You move to accommodate the set up, now facing him with your legs crossed on the couch and shoes abandoned on the floor. You wait for him to make the first move. After the opening moves the game doesn’t seem to get any harder and you know he’s throwing the game. You’re okay at chess, but he’s obviously a lot better. 
“You’re going easy on me.” You mumble.
“Because you’re not even trying.” He replies blithely.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Like I said, you’re making it too easy.” He gently teases.
“Not that. Helping me. You hate me, remember?” You say it like it’s the most casual thing in the world. 
“I don’t hate you.” 
“You literally told me that you hate me.” You chuckle, numb to the hurt that sentence once brought you. 
“So did you.” He counters in defence, trailing your hand as it carelessly moves your queen to her demise. 
“I was angry.” 
“So was I.” He spared your queen, in turn leaving his king vulnerable. 
“It doesn’t matter now…” You don’t finish the rest of your sentence but Spencer still hears it.
You’re leaving soon anyway.
“It matters to me.” If he left something unsaid you choose to ignore it. 
“You’re letting me win.” You whisper, feeling the urge to cry some more, but there’s no tears left. 
He doesn’t make a move, bringing the game to a halt. He’s waiting for you to meet his eyes. You know what he’s going to say. 
“Spencer, don't.” You beseech.
“Why?” If you looked at him instead of the board you’d see the way his eyes are pleading at you. 
“There’s no point.” This time it’s your voice that cracks. 
You're looking everywhere else and it makes you too aware of your surroundings. Like how the couch is lined up directly under a window that anyone could peek into. 
“Leaving is not the only option.” He solicits. 
He regards your discomfort and closes the blinds from where he’s sitting, pulling you back into the privacy of your bubble. 
“There’s nothing that you can say to make things go back to how they were.” You bite the inside of your cheek, fiddling with a random pawn. 
It’s not a proper two way conversation. You’re talking to yourself just as much as Spencer’s talking to you. You’re both trying to convince you of what you’re saying. 
“Things don’t have to go back to how they were.” The squeaks in his soothing tone are starting to melt any resolve you have left. 
“There’s no reason for me to stay.” You oppose, trying to make any argument stick.
“I can think of more reasons for you to stay than for you to go.” 
There’s an underlying tension bubbling. Neither of you notice it over your desperate tug of war. 
“I don’t think there’s anything that you can say to get me to stay.” Another baseless sentence meant more for you than for him. 
“Give me one chance. One chance to convince you.” He can see your internal struggle at his request and he throws out one final plea to sway you. “For nothing more than closure.” 
Closure.
You’ve spent months in turmoil over the hows and the what ifs, trying to conjure answers to questions that wouldn’t stop pestering you. You couldn’t turn him down even if you wanted to. 
“Closure?” You repeat, eyes finally latching onto his.
“Closure.” He whispers back in reassurance. 
“Even if you can’t convince me?” You caution, not wanting to give him false hope.
He doesn’t say anything, thinking over the scenario in his head. He simply nods and you mimic the action, blinking away the blur in your vision and dragging around chess pieces. It takes Spencer a second to figure out that you were moving them back to their default places.
“Okay new game.” You announce. 
Spencer blinks in confusion, waiting for you to elaborate. 
“I can ask you any question I want and you have to answer honestly. If by the end of the game I’m not convinced to stay, you back off for the remainder of my time here.” You pause for him to interject, but he doesn’t. “That means we stay away from each other, only talking when needed for work. Even then as cordially and professionally as possible. No more trying to make casual conversation or bringing me coffee or anything like that.”
“Till the end of the game?” He studies you. 
“Yup.” You smack your lips together. “Til one of us checkmates the other.”
“This means you’ll actually give me a fair shot?” 
“Between the two of us, I’m not the one known for cheating at games.” You jab, trying to ease the tension you could definitely feel now. 
“I meant a fair shot at convincing you. As in you’ll seriously take what I have to say into account.” He discards your attempt.
“No, I know. The opportunity was just too good to pass up.”
He can tell you’re trying to hold back a laugh from the small smile on your lips. It’s as adorable to him now as it was the first time he saw it. 
“Any rules before we start?” He asks, unable to hide his own smile.
“Only that we have to be honest.” You answer, immediately dropping your smile.
“Okay.” He agrees, smiling slightly wider.
“Okay.” You nod again.
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When he finally makes the first move it hits you that you don’t actually know where to start. Theoretically, you know what you want to ask, but don’t know how to ask. You don’t know if you should jump straight into the questions or start with some ice breakers. Nothing is said for about four to five moves when Spencer pauses the game. 
“Are you going to ask any questions or have you decided that you just want to play one last game for your closure?”
“Huh?” You snap your vision away from the board. “Oh, sorry. I was thinking.”
“Do you want to return to the game after thinking of a few questions to ask?” He raises his brow and relaxes his jaw.
“No, no, we don’t need to do that. Let’s keep playing, the questions will come to me.” You brush off his suggestion and motion for him to continue with his turn. He doesn’t.
“What?” Your voice raises and you scrunch your nose from perplexity.
“Sorry, it’s just that you’ve put us on a time limit and this is how you’re using our time?” He airs, failing to conceal his amusement.
“Well excuse me if I don’t exactly have a list of questions ready to go for you.” You narrow your eyes in annoyance. 
“Why would you suggest this if you don’t have any questions?” He tries to hold back his laugh and ends up snorting as a result. 
“I have questions!” You jabber, unable to maintain your annoyance. “I don’t know what– where do I even start?”
“Start with whichever one comes to you first.” He shrugs, finally making his move. 
A lot of things come to mind when you think about it. The thing that screams the loudest twitches a nerve and you become instantly irate. 
“Okay.” You nod, tone harsh and flat. “Let’s start with whatever the fuck possessed you on the last case. What was your thought process when you put your life in danger like that?”
He almost gets whiplash from the change in mood, his face literally reads ‘are you serious?’. 
“He was going to shoot you.” He states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 
“I was wearing a vest, I would’ve been fine.” You contend. 
“I wasn’t willing to take that risk.” 
“Risk?! You literally put yourself in danger for no reason!” 
“I think it was a pretty good reason actually!” 
“Spencer that was–” You stop yourself with a grumble, inhaling deeply. 
“It was instinctual, okay?” He softly explains. “I saw him aim the gun at you and I just reacted.” 
“Well it was a stupid reaction!” You whine. 
“I’m not going to apologise for it.”
The glare you give is piercing, you bite the inside of your cheek to hold your tongue before you say something you can’t take back. Spencer throws his head back and sighs. 
“But I will promise not to do it again.” He adds, not fully intending to keep it. 
This was slowly turning into another argument, both of you shooting back too fast with your responses. You aren’t in the mood for another argument. So you redirect your attention to the game. 
“Check.” You mumble, buying yourself time to think of another question. “Why are you here so late anyway?”
“I wanted to finish some work before tomorrow morning.” He replies, moving his king to safety. 
“Yeah, what’s up with that? You could’ve done those tomorrow as well.” Your voice softens out of curiosity. 
“I wanted to get them finished in case there were more tomorrow.” It’s not his best excuse. You don’t know what he means by that. He doesn’t know what he means by that. He’s lying to you. 
You scoff, poking your tongue against your cheek. “Wow. You really can’t not cheat during a game, can you?” 
“Right, sorry.” Spencer clears his throat after the initial confusion clears. Complete honesty, it was your only rule. “I wanted to be here.”
“For…” You egg on, purposely rolling your ‘r’s to prompt him. 
“I wanted to make sure that you were okay.” He admits, looking away from you. 
“Why?” You’re genuinely puzzled at the admission. “You’re the one who almost died. I mean, it was stupid and your fault, but still. If anything I should be checking up on you.”
“Check.” That’s the only response he gives you. He hopes that you don’t push further, but he knows that you will. 
His lack of response only forces you to think about the possible reasons by yourself, using context clues to figure it out. You are a profiler, after all. 
“Is this because of the panic attack?” You note how his jaw twitches when he swallows at the mention. “It is! You seriously chose to spend your night stuck at the office because of that?” 
“What else was I supposed to do? It’s not like you would talk to me, you literally refused to even look at me!” He gripes. 
“Spencer I think anyone would panic if they got tackled to the ground by a six foot man without warning. I’m fine.” You giggle.
“What happened to complete honesty?” It’s his turn to glare at you.
“I am being honest!” You protest.
“Lying by omission is not being honest.” He rolls his eyes.
“Okay Mr. know-it-all, what am I lying about?” You challenge.
“Seriously? You don’t remember?” His approach is doubtful and he just stares at your dazed expression.
“Fucking spit it out already, Spence!” 
Any sarcasm he had geared up for a response dissipates at your use of his nickname. He’s heard it plenty in the last few months, but not from you. For a moment things feel like they never changed. It stings in a bittersweet kind of way. 
“You sc–screamed– uh–” He clears his throat and rapidly blinks, his nose twitches in the process. “During that panic attack, you repeatedly asked me to stay with you. Y–you, uh– you said you didn’t think you could li–”
“Stop. Stop. Stop talking.” Your voice quavers and you hold your hand up, ears burning up. “I don’t wanna know.”
You don’t know why it makes your heart race the way it does, you don’t even remember it. He waits a while before speaking up again, wanting to be careful about how he goes about the topic without you shutting down.
“May I ask you a question?” He voices professionally, trying to make the conversation less personal so you don’t feel cornered. 
You nod, moving your king out of check.
“Is there anybody you will talk to about Anchorage? Without pushing them away?” He keeps the game going as he speaks to provide you with a distraction. 
“Woah– Anchorage? Where is that coming from?” You titter.
“I want you to remember that we promised to be honest and I won’t push if you ask me to stop, but I know for a fact that you aren’t okay.” He waits for you to stop him but you don’t, even though you know roughly what he’s going to say. “Panic attacks aside, your avoidant behaviour around the topic, inability to focus, being easily startled, you’re showing signs of PTSD.” 
“Spence, c’mon. I don’t need to talk to anyone. I already passed the psych evals.” You attempt to make light of the situation with carefully chosen words so you’re not lying. It was a futile attempt, you know he’s not willing to budge when he doesn’t give you anything more than a blank stare. 
“Why does this matter so much to you?” You sigh in defeat. “Whatever happened…that’s a part of the job, you know that.”
“I also know, first hand, that it takes over your life. You can’t run from it, no matter how much you try to.” His tone is soft as he speaks, yet you feel like he’s accusing you. 
“I am not running! Why would you say I’m running?” You object with a high voice, shrugging your shoulders. “And it’s not taking over my life. Also, check.”
“Because that’s what you do when you don’t want to deal with something.” He states point blank.
“Woah– so– that was entirely unnecessary.” You stammer, unable to deny it. 
“I’m not criticising you. I just happen to know you and I know that you have a tendency to run from your problems. And it is taking over your life.” 
“You’re profiling!” You gasp.
“You know that it’s not something we can just turn off! No matter how much we pretend like we can.” He waves his hands defensively. 
You can’t argue with that, your lips twisting to the side. 
“You want me to be honest?” You murmur sheepishly. 
“Always. Please.” He responds gently, wanting you to be as comfortable as possible.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I spend a good chunk of my day actively avoiding thinking about it, but somehow I always end up thinking about it anyway. At times it’s like I can almost feel…” You breathe in instinctively. “This is the first time in months I’ve been able to do anything without it lingering in the back of my mind. Can we please talk about it another time? I would rather talk about other things…”
Another time. 
“...right now.” 
You’ve implied that there will be another time to talk and he definitely caught it, even if he pretends that he hasn’t. You don’t even know if what you said is true, you got too comfortable with the familiarity of his friendship. It was something you said out of habit from back when you two actually were friends. Not even a full hour's worth of conversation with him and he’s already worming his way back in.
“Um–” You drag yourself further back on the couch, creating more physical distance. 
“That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it at all.” Spencer senses your urgency to leave the situation and jumps into damage control. “It’s your turn.”
“No, um, I should– I should go. Thanks for doing thi– helping me.” You turn away from him, aiming for your shoes and ready to bolt.
“The game’s not over.” He points out.
“Yes it is.” You declare, still in the process of putting on your shoes.
“You said til checkmate.” He huffs, shifting out of his seated position. 
“I forfeit!” You throw your arms out in a shrugging manner, standing up after him.
“I can’t believe this. You’re going back on your word!” He doesn’t even raise his voice. He’s just hurt. 
“What’s the point, Spencer? Closure doesn’t mean anything, I’m still leaving! You can’t magically change my mind!” You yell, getting louder with each sentence. 
“I disagree. I think that you’re running again!” He blocks your way and yells back, maintaining his volume throughout. 
“Maybe you should think less!” You suggest, still yelling. Sarcasm is your defence mechanism when you have no actual defence. 
“You know what else I think?” He continues, emphasising the word ‘think��� every time he says it out of spite. “I think that you agreed to this thinking I won’t be able to convince you, but I am!”
“I don’t care what you–”
“I think you don’t want to finish the game that you started, because you’re afraid to ask the harder questions!”
“Stop.” You command, but it doesn’t deter him.
“I think that you’re scared to hear my answers because then it all becomes too real for you–” 
“Stop!” The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you choke them out. “You’re wrong.” 
“If I’m wrong then prove it. To both of us.” He sits back down and motions to the board. “Ask the real questions.” 
“I don’t need to prove anything, you’re wrong.” You uphold.
“So leave.” He challenges, knowing that you won’t be able to. 
If you truly believed that he’s wrong you wouldn’t feel the need to prove it, but you do and he knows that. You walk back over to the couch, head nodding from irritation, tongue poking your cheek. You kick your shoes off with a bit of force and return to your earlier position across from him. 
“Your move.” He reminds you as you settle in.
You don’t reply yet, but move your rook to set him up for the next move.  
“Check.” He smugly states.
“Who was she?” 
You don’t move, examining him close for any change in his behaviour. He obviously didn't anticipate that question first, snapping his sights back on you. 
“Sorry?” 
“The woman who greeted me at your door. That night at your apartment.” 
“Charlotte.” He replies, holding your gaze to show you he’s got nothing to hide. “We met at the library a week before.”
“Are you guys together?” You break away first, diverting your eyes to the chess board and trying to seem unfazed when moving your knight. 
“No, God, no.” He denies immediately. 
“I don’t know, she seemed pretty cosy for someone you met a week prior.” You don’t mean to sound as snide as you come across.
“No, it wasn’t like that at all.” He shakes his head. 
“You sure? Because I’m pretty sure I saw her mark you up with a kiss on your cheek before disappearing.” You don’t look at him, examining a captured pawn as you wait for him to make his move. 
“Mark me up?” He cognizes it instantly. “Are you…jealous?”
“What? No!” You vehemently deny, your voice rising in several pitches. 
“You are!” His eyes widen. 
“I am not jealous.” 
His jaw slacks and he lets out an amused scoff. He doesn’t say anything, making you feel the need to fill the silence. 
“I only bring it up because…I know you have a thing with…germs.” Your words falter because of your own uncertainty and you want to dissolve into the fucking floor. 
Spencer tries to suppress a smile by poking his tongue out slightly. If the atmosphere was lighter he’d tease you about it, but he doesn’t want to make you take off again. Still, he feels the need to clarify the events of the night. 
“I don’t know why she kissed my cheek, it was completely random.” He takes his time saying it, still fighting a smile.
You swallow nervously and purse your lips to the side in response. One question answered and you only have new ones in its place. Did she stay the night? Did she sleep on the couch or on his bed? Did he see her again? 
“I drove her home right after you left.” He can almost hear your thoughts. 
“Was it a date?” You softly gulp again, unsure if you even have a right to know.
“Yes.” He hesitates. 
“Oh.” 
“I wanted to try out casual dating for once.” He chagrins. “I honestly don’t know how you did it, it’s not even fun.” 
“No it’s not.” You chuckle dryly. “So no second date, I presume?”
“Definitely not. I was just stressed the whole time.” He chuckles with you. 
“Take a shot of tequila before you go next time, it helps settle the nerves.” You joke, jumping to give him advice you hope he doesn’t take. You can’t help it, it’s what you’ve always done. Even if it goes against what you desire. 
“While moderate consumption of tequila can help relax the nervous system, I will not be turning to alcohol for stress relief.” 
“Then blast classical music while you get ready and give yourself a pep talk out loud, it’s actually really efficient–”
“There won’t be a next time. For a really long time, if ever.” He interjects, miffed at your insistence. 
“You willingly plan on committing to lifelong celibacy?” You exclaim with a puzzled look. “Why?!”
Spencer laughs at how raw your reaction is. He didn’t plan on giving out any more details but, with that prompt he decides that it’s now or never. 
“I don’t think any future dates will appreciate me picturing someone else in their place the whole time.” 
Oh. 
Both of you lock eyes at the same time. This is not a road you’re prepared to go back down, even if that’s literally the whole point of this conversation. You’re too stunned to reply and Spencer uses this as an opportunity to be elaborate. He doesn’t want any misunderstandings this time. 
“I couldn’t stop pictur–”
“Shut up.” You blurt out the sentence in almost one word. 
Your heart’s racing like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff. You’re flustered, every part of your body is heated from how terrified you are.
“Y–you don’t have t–t…you don’t owe m–me an explanation.” You try to elaborate, contradicting yourself and stumbling on your words.
“I want to.” He reads that you’re apprehensive but pushes regardless. 
“Please don’t.” The tears that you thought had dried out were building again.
“Why ask if you won’t let me answer?”
You don’t have anything to say to that. Did you want answers? Yes. Still, you didn’t expect how hard they’d be to hear. He whispers your name and you scramble to think of your next move, and not in chess. You’re unable to even think about the game right now. You want to bolt, but you can’t even get yourself to move. So you deflect. 
“Because it doesn’t matter.”
“I disagree.” Although his tone is subdued, the pace of his wording is faster. “I think it does matter and that’s why you’re afraid to hear it.”
He’s right but you can’t bring yourself to agree. This is only going to over-complicate an already complicated situation.
“It’s not enough.” Your voice cracks.
“How can it be if you won’t even give it a fair shot?” 
“Fair?” 
It comes out louder than you intended. His words trigger resentment within you and you snap. 
“Nothing about any of this is fair! I mean, fucking hell, Spencer, four years. That’s how long we’ve been friends. I mean I’ve shared shit that I thought I would be taking to the fucking grave with you! You were my best friend for four fucking years and all it took was like, five seconds?”
You sob, softer than when you were first crying, but the frustration is clear. He reaches out to touch your hand, but you push his hand away. 
“No!” You choke, sobbing harder when you try to compile your thoughts. “Five seconds to destroy all of it! It makes me wonder if everything we shared, our friendship, was it ever even that strong?”
Your anger simmers to sadness, as evident with how your yelling fades into whispering in the last sentence. 
“I can’t even tell you when exactly those five seconds were. I mean, I know…but…I don’t. Where did it go wrong, Spence?” 
“I don’t know.” Is all he can say after a beat of silence.
He knows exactly where it went wrong. 
“Yeah, me neither!” You sniffle, immediately wiping a single tear that manages to escape. “So again, it doesn’t matter.” 
“When you took it back.”
“What?” 
“That’s where everything changed for me. You showed up at my apartment drunk, after your date with Nathan. Your exact words were ‘I mean as an amazing friend’.” His voice strains like he’s forcing himself to speak. 
Your gaze falls, eyes darting everywhere as you try to jog your memory beyond the one sentence you remember. 
“I don’t understand.” You croak.
“You know, if I wasn’t who I am, maybe you could love me the way I love you.” He chuckles bitterly, fighting back tears of his own. “That was– that was, uh, what you said before you took it back.”
“Spence, please…” You whine without sound, tilting your head back and chewing on your lip as a final attempt to stay composed. 
“No, you wanted to know where it went wrong.” He laughs falsely to downplay his tears. “You can say it doesn’t matter all you want, but the fact is, it does matter. It matters to me and I won’t let you run from it anymore.” 
You can’t look at him. Not with tears free falling down your face. You cup your hands together in your lap, pressing your fingers and nails together. 
“You told me that I couldn’t love you.” You struggle to sound your words. 
“I’m an idiot.” Another chuckle, but he sounds defeated. “When you said that, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to say that I do love you.” 
You tearfully laugh at this admission. 
“I only took it back because of what you said. I panicked. I thought I’d ruined things…which I guess, I still did.” Another laugh from you.
Spencer responds with the same regretful sound. 
The irony spurs another fit of giggles amongst you, this one slightly longer and infinitely more rueful than the last. You look anywhere but at each other until it grows quieter. 
“If you loved me, why the fuck would you tell me that I couldn’t love you?” You sound just as, if not more, defeated than him. 
“Love.” Spencer corrects without missing a beat. 
Your brows twitch up and your heart jumps. 
“I was so hung up on every single part of your sentence that I didn’t know what to say first.” He proceeds to answer you without leaving much room to process what he said. “I wanted to tell you that I do love you. I love you as you are. Not as somebody else.”
“But you didn’t say any of that.” You ignore all his admissions, not fully comprehending. 
“Like I said, I’m an idiot. I was in so much disbelief and that was the first thing that came out of my mouth.” He sullenly huffs.
You don’t reply, sniffling with your head down. 
“For like a second, I had everything I wanted. Then you took it back and it was like my whole world had been ripped out from under me. In those five seconds, you’d given me a taste of what I’d spent four years convincing myself I couldn’t have and I just– I couldn’t go back after that.” He adds after a stillness. 
After a short while, your focus shifts from your hands to the board in front of you. The game’s been long forgotten. You’re immersed in the conversation, in spite of how strenuous it is. 
“I understand why you were distant, even mean, at first.” You snivel. “But after a while you just became downright cruel.” 
Spencer doesn’t shy away from your gaze when you do look at him. His skin is as drenched from crying as yours is. 
“I mean ‘I don’t want to see your face’? I know that I don’t really have a leg to stand on anymore, but, what the fuck Spencer?” 
He doesn’t cringe any less with every reminder. He’s truly regretted the words since they left his mouth. 
“I wanted to hurt you.” He reveals. “I thought you were being deliberately cruel and I wanted you to feel exactly how I was feeling.”
“Deliberately?” 
He nods, hanging his head.
“I thought that you knew how I felt and were just trying to be funny or something.” 
“Well I didn’t. I wasn’t.” You cut him off with a constricted voice.
“Even if you did, it’s not an excuse.” His eyes are glistening from the outpour of tears, but he still lifts his sights back to you. “I’m sorry.” 
You don’t know how to acknowledge his apology at all. You’re not even angry anymore, all you feel is sorrow and regret for the way everything happened. An entire friendship down the drain due to an unfortunate set of circumstances. 
“This is so fucked up.” You say with another mordant laugh. “All of this could have been avoided if we just talked about it.”
It stung less when you had somebody to blame for it. Your vision blurs and you make no effort to clear it, letting yourself cry openly. 
“We’re talking about it now?” It’s almost a squeak, the way it’s spoken.
“Yeah, but,” your shoulders slump, defeatedly, and you have to pause to control your sob, “what good does it do now? I’ve already lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me in the most pathetic way possible.”
“I’m right here.” He counters in such a small voice that it gives your goosebumps. 
“Spencer, too many things have been said…”
“When you first joined the team, I instantly knew I liked you.” 
He chews on his lip and darts his eyes around while he contemplates if he wants to continue. 
“I thought it was because of your kind nature. You were so sweet to everybody.” He decides he does, but his voice shakes throughout. “You have this gift…you make people feel so good about themselves. Whenever you spoke to me, I felt like the most important person in the world. It was impossible not to like you.”
You want to pretend like you don’t know where he’s going with this. You want to stop him, but your voice is stuck in your throat.
“It wasn’t until you bought me coffee for the first time that I realised just how much I liked you.” He chuckles again, as he reminisces in the memory. “You didn’t even get my order right until the fourth time, but it was still my favourite cup of the day.”
“You make me sound like a saint.” You finally choke out, attempting to play down the confession so it doesn’t crush your heart. “The only reason I even started bringing you coffee is because you learned how I like my coffee first.” 
“Not a saint, an angel. I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you that there are times where it genuinely feels like I’m in the presence of an angel.” 
It’s stated with such sincerity that it knocks the wind out of your pipes. Your eyes are widened and you’re biting your tongue with your mouth closed, staring at him with your chin tucked. He seems so confident, even with the glistening from previous tears in his eyes.
“I wanted to be in your life in any way you would have me. Even when it meant that I had to accept you with other people. And it was bearable, until…” His reminiscence only ends at the memory of the night that changed everything. “Like I said, I couldn’t go back.”
The last part fades into another whisper, only then do you find the courage to speak up. 
“Exactly.” You stick to your denial. “It can’t go back to how it was before.”
Your heart is so sure of what it wants, but your head is blinded by fear. You’re at a crossroads, except one path, the path that leads to everything you long for, is clouded with a fog of uncertainty. The other path is so painfully clear, you can practically see what’s on the other side. A fresh start, where the risk of fucking up further doesn’t exist. What you don’t see is Spencer.
“Good. I don’t want it to go back to how it was.” 
Spencer’s waiting for you to enter the fog. He’s going to be there holding your hand every step of the way. 
“I’ve already handed in my resignation.”
“That matters less than everything you’ve claimed doesn’t matter.” He leans in, intensifying his eye contact. 
“I’m pretty sure Hotch is really close to confirming my replacement.” You comment half-heartedly. 
You’re trying anything to dissuade both him and yourself from acknowledging the obvious, but he doesn’t plan on letting you avoid it. 
“I love you.” He whispers softly.
“Spencer…” You begin when he takes hold of your hands and whatever you had to say disappears from your tongue. 
“I love you. With every atom that makes up my body.” He repeats himself with further elaboration to instil it in your mind.
“I’m scared.” You whisper back with a sob, finally accepting it. 
“Why?” His voice can’t be any softer, but it still cracks a little.
“Because, you can’t guarantee that it’s going to end well.” You allow your vulnerability to peek through. “And that’s going to hurt more. I’d rather leave now than fall deeper.”
Although you didn’t say it back, it’s an indirect admission that you love him too. And it’s enough for him to fight harder.
“I know that my credibility isn’t the greatest,” he coaxes a small, sad scoff out of you, “but I truly believe that this, us, we’ll work. Because I know that I’m going to do everything I can to make this work.”
He feels bolder when you don’t pull away from his touch, folding your fingers into your palms and cupping over them. You observe the sight as it unfolds in lieu of a verbal response. 
“I’ve spent four years judging any man that comes into your life, wishing I was in their place, swearing I would treat you better than all of them.” 
Spencer feels the need to fill in the silence and he lets honesty guide his confession. He leans in further as if he’s indulging his deepest secret. 
“Four years wasted wondering what could be, cursing out those idiots, but taking no action to make it happen. And that makes me the biggest idiot out of all of them.”
When he speaks like this, with his big, imploring eyes and prayerful tone, it melts your heart to a point where it almost hurts. The more he talks, the more you begin to lean in, opening yourself up to him.
“It took losing you to realise how badly I fucked up and for that I will never forgive myself. I know that I have no right to ask you to waste any more time on me…”
There’s no more resistance against the pull you both physically feel to each other. 
“...but I’m begging you for a chance to do today what I should have done way before yesterday.” 
Your faces grow closer by the second, you can feel each other's breaths against skin.
“And I’m going to spend every tomorrow proving what I said today.” 
The likelihood of him changing your mind with one conversation wasn’t very high, both you and Spencer knew this when you got into it. You’re not entirely surprised when he somehow manages to overcome those odds too. You take the step to close the gap and lightly press your lips to his. 
It starts off soft, there’s no lust, no ulterior motive behind it. It’s a simple confirmation that you’re both present and this is real. Spencer doesn’t shy away from the kiss, not that you’d call this a kiss. It feels more intimate, more unguarded.
Spencer pulls you onto his lap as he shifts and leans back against the backrest to allow more room for you. You wrap your arms around him and the kiss deepens. In the midst of you straddling him, he slides the entire chess board off the couch and the pieces scatter on the floor. It’s only when you feel that the kiss can’t bring you any closer to him does the lust emerge. It fuels a desire to prove that you both whole-heartedly belong to each other. 
There’s no pinpointing when the switch happens. All you know is that the feeling of his lips against yours is no longer enough. You cup his jaw in your hands, swiping your tongue on his lower lip and it causes his grip on your waist to tighten. He parts his lips for you and it starts what you can only call a dance with your tongues. 
Your breathing grows hotter, your hips subconsciously grind against him. There’s a prominent bulge that brushes against your heat and you whine into his mouth. Spencer grunts your name in response and then abruptly pulls away.
“Wait, wait, wait, slow down.” He breathlessly whispers against your lips. 
“What?” You whisper back with concern. “What’s wrong?”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” He gazes into your eyes, afraid that you might regret this later.
“I’ve never been more sure, actually.” You’re confident at first but the look in his eyes makes you pull back further. “Unless…you’re not sure?”
“No, don’t misunderstand me. I want you.” His tone rises just above the previous whisper with his clarification. “It’s just that the last thing I want to do is take advantage of you when our emotions are running high.”
“Four years, Spencer.” You lean in again, just brushing your lips against his. “The only reason you should be making me wait is if you’re not sure.”
He shuts that idea down by crashing his lips on yours. The kiss is so hungry, so desperate, it’s everything both of you have longed for and denied yourselves everytime you’ve been in each other's presence. It doesn’t take long for hands to start to roam. He traces the curve from your waist to your hips, stopping just at the hem of your shirt, tugging it like he’s asking for permission. 
You rush to undo your buttons and he meets you halfway, starting at the bottom. His fingers brush against yours as you two reach the final button and you pull the fabric off yourself. You do the same with his shirt, lips remaining locked, except for the small gasps of air you take in between. It requires a bit more manoeuvring with him, but you’re both soon shirtless. 
His mouth travels to your jaw and you shut your eyes from pleasure as he continues down to your neck. The stubble on his chin tickles your skin. You cup it, gently pushing him away with a giggle. 
“Forget to pack a razor in your bag, Dr. Reid?” Your voice is teasing, more playful than seductive.
He chuckles, airily, hiding his groan. He knows you’re being sarcastic, but the use of his title, with your voice in this context, catches him off guard. You moan as you feel his growing bulge against your heat when his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you into his kiss. You swiftly undo the clasp of your bra, but before you can take it off, Spencer grabs you from just below the hips and lifts you up off him, gently laying you down on the seat of the couch. 
There’s no room for hesitation as his lips find your neck again and he nips at the skin. Every suckle earns him short gasps and the grip in his hair tightens as he travels lower. He stops just above your breast, pulling himself up to sit on his knees. You stare up at him with a heated gaze, the nail of your thumb resting between your teeth with your lips parted to make up for the loss of his lips. 
He reaches for your bra strap and begins pulling slowly, searching your eyes for any signs of you withdrawing consent. All he sees is how beautifully they sparkle when you give him a light nod. It’s been too long since he’s seen the stars that you hold in your eyes, stars he accustomed himself to before he even got to properly know you. 
Gazing into his eyes, you’ve never felt more sure, more safe. You trust him implicitly and you’ve never wanted anything more. His constant need to make sure you're comfortable sends shivers down to your core. He slides the garment off you and Spencer’s beyond grateful that he’s already on his knees, knowing that if he was standing he’d fall to them because of the sight below him. 
His eyes don’t falter once, he’s trying to permanently etch this moment into his brain. He hovers his fingers above your body, thumb brushing against your hardened nipple and you softly whine. He looks awestruck, almost like he doesn’t believe what’s happening. You can’t help but wonder if he thinks your boobs look weird. 
“Beautiful.” The words fall out of his mouth in a whisper, as if on cue. He’s really just thinking out loud.
Before you can respond he lowers down and plants a small peck to your sensitive nub before taking it into his mouth. You gasp again, head lolling back in pleasure. One of your hands goes for his hair, while the other clings to his hand that’s already holding yours. He switches between sucking, pulling and squeezing; rolling it between his tongue and uses his teeth to squeeze ever so slightly.
“S–spencer.” A strangled moan falls from your lips. 
You tug his hair, whining and moaning as your hips roll against the strain in his pants. When your motions become continuous, he lets out his own strained groan and is forced to release your nipple with a small ‘pop’. 
“Angel, I really need you to stop doing that.” He murmurs in your ear with a gentle, gravelly tone.
As soon as the nickname reaches your ears your hips involuntarily buck up again, making his hips automatically push down against yours. His cock presses against your core and you both moan, his head falling against your shoulder.
“Spence, more.” You quietly whine in against his ear. “I need more.” 
“More?” He echoes back, turning his head so that your lips brush past each other when speaking. 
“Mhm.” You nod weakly as he brushes a strand of hair out of your face and weakly connects his lips with yours.
Even when he’s got you vulnerable and at your most compromised, he’s still as gentle as ever. You don’t feel him undo your pants or sneak his hand in them, but you definitely feel him press the pads of his fingers against your clothed clit. Air escapes through your nose in a huff of surprise and you hum in his mouth, hips jolting at his touch. He can feel your slickness through your underwear. 
“Oh, my pretty girl.” He sighs, breaking the kiss and directing his whispers in your ear again. “All wet for me?”
“Please..” Even with your broken whimper you beg him for more. 
“Like this?” His deft fingers swipe your panties to the side, fingers landing directly on the clit this time. 
They feel cold at first. The contrast against your heated body makes you squirm and you groan in a soft, high pitch. 
“What are you feeling right now?” He pries a verbal response from you, circling your bud lightly. “Tell me.”
“Good.” You sigh, eyes shut as you try to savour the pleasure. 
“Good?” His voice is still soft against your ear.
“Mhm.” You nod, one arm draping against his shoulder and the other hand running along his scruffy jaw. “So good.” 
“And this?” He adds pressure to his movements. “Does this feel good?”
Your hips buck again and he feels rewarded when you moan. There’s no doubt that the sound of your voice is his favourite. He especially loves it when it’s directed at him. Whether that be in the form of a laugh or your sweet moans. It makes him somewhat dizzy. His lips attach to the skin just under your jaw in an attempt to coax more. 
It’s very effective. Fingers working your bundle of nerves, circling and flicking while changing the pressure, and mouth kissing and sucking near your pulse. It makes your back arch, hand gripping his shoulder so you don’t float away. He’s careful not to leave any purple traces of him on your neck, mindful of you being bombarded with questions from your colleagues.  
“I love how reactive you are, Angel. You sound divine– fuck.” He can’t help the grunt that escapes him. “You are divine.”
His touch alone is enough to make you feel electric, but the sweet nothings he’s whispering in your ear will be what send you over the edge. It’s a foreign feeling, being reminded that he values you for more than just your body. Just under an hour ago you had incredibly high walls built around you and none of them are left standing as you exposed under him.
Spencer’s not the first man to touch you, but he is the first that loves you. It’s something you’re not at all used to and it feels as overwhelming as it does good. It transcends the want, no, the need for the man on top of you beyond lust or love. You plan to show him just how strong that need is tonight. 
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The carpeted floor is littered with your clothes, carelessly thrown around and tiny chess pieces scattered around the abandoned chess board. Spencer’s comfortably lying on the couch, facing the ceiling and you’re lying directly on top of him with your face buried in his neck. 
You run your fingers back and forth along his jaw, scratching his beard in slow streaks. He’s enveloped you in his arms, one around your lower back and the other playing with your hair. It doesn’t feel as peaceful as it seems, both of you are afraid of being the first to speak. You know you can’t stay like this forever and you decide to bite the bullet. 
“Spencer?” 
You only get silence from his end. You know he’s awake because his motions in your hair don’t stop. You push yourself up to face him, trying to study his face. The sudden movement brings him back from wherever he was zoned out to. 
“Hm?” His features jump.
Does he regret it?
“What’s wrong?” Your voice shakes from worry. “You have this look on your face.” 
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking.” 
“About…?” 
“How bad we are at communicating.” He chuckles. “It’s concerning when you think about how all we ever do is talk.” 
Hearing this makes you snort and you fall into him again. It sends both of you into a short fit of laughter. 
“Oh that’s promising for the success of this relationship.” You giggle, sarcasm evident. 
Hearing relationship makes Spencer inhale sharply. 
“So you’re staying?” 
“Well obviously, Dingbat.” You scoff playfully at the question and shift upright, straddling him. “But we really do need to get better at the communication thing for this to work.”
Spencer mounts his weight on his hands by either side of him and pushes himself up to you, stealing a deep kiss. 
“Yes, we absolutely do.” He whispers, breaking away for only a second. 
The kisses fizzle in you a plethora of smaller kisses. 
“Spencer, I’m– serious.” You voice in between, loosely draping your arms on his shoulders. 
“I am too.” He says in a hushed tone as he pulls away. 
“I want to take it– this,” you motion between the two of you with your finger, “us, slow. Not four years slow, but, like, by a couple of months at the very least.”
“Okay.” He agrees, his eyes scouring your face with complete adoration. It’s not ideal, but he understands where you’re coming from. 
“That means that we start again. Romantically. We have to talk about a lot of things first.” 
He shifts his body out from under you, resting his back properly against the couch and pulls you back into his lap in one swift motion. Both of his hands graze from your shoulder to your wrist.
“How about…you come over this weekend,” He suggests, wrapping his arms around your waist for a hug, “we’ll do snacks, a movie, maybe an actual game of chess.” 
“That sounds like a date.” You wrap your arms around his neck to return the gesture and lean your forehead against his. 
“It’s not a date. Not yet, anyways.” He whispers. “I’m asking you to come over this weekend so we can talk about things properly, because frankly, I don’t think either of us is in the right headspace for it right now.” 
“Should I be offended at that?” You giggle, not entirely sure what he’s alluding to. 
“No!” He snorts with a high tone. “Dopamine aside, our Norepinephrine and Serotonin levels are too high right now for us to have a proper conversation about this.” 
“I’m not saying that you’re wrong, because you’re not, but I also think you’re just using science to try and confuse me, so that I agree to wherever this speech is heading.” 
“It’s times like this where your attentiveness puts me at a disadvantage, because this tactic has a hundred percent success rate on everybody else.” He grins and you chuckle, both leaning in for another kiss. 
“Can we hold off on starting over? Just for tonight.” He reluctantly voices, not wanting to push any boundaries. 
You draw back and raise your eyebrows with your eyes widened. 
“Spence, I have waited for years for this. You’re insane if you think I’m giving that up without relishing in it for at least a night. We’re not starting over until we’re both officially back on the clock.” 
“Okay.” He heaves from relief, leaning in for another kiss, but quickly withdraws with a new question. “Don’t you think the team’s going to be suspicious when we’re not fighting tomorrow?”
“Forget them, what am I gonna say to Hotch when I ask to withdraw my resignation?” You huff out a tiny groan. “He’s gonna hate me for all this paperwork.”
Paperwork reminds you why you’re here to begin with. You audibly gasp, jumping off Spencer and scrambling to put your clothes back on. 
“Fuck! Spencer, get dressed!” 
Spencer doesn’t share your panic, but adheres to your demand. You mutter a continuous line of obscenities as you throw on your clothes and when you don’t seem to be getting calmer, he intervenes. 
“Hey, hey, hey!” He coos as he steps towards you, still undressed on the upper-half. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is that we’ve been here for hours!” You shriek, now fully dressed. 
You push past Spencer and grab his shirt, deciding that he was too slow on his own. He lets you dress him as he probes further. 
“That’s okay. No one’s going to notice this late.” 
“No– Spence–” You sigh, throwing your head back. “In less than four hours, Hotch is going to walk into his office expecting the Anchorage report on his desk. I’ve barely been able to get half of it done in weeks, how am I going to finish it in four hours?”
You shake your head and begin working on his buttons. He grabs your wrists, urging you to look at him. 
“You’ll have it done in less than one. I’ll help you!” His voice is light, airy, soft and accompanied with a chuckle.
“Spencer, you’ve already been here later than you need to be. It’s okay–”
“Let me help you.” He resorts to pleading, releasing your wrists and cupping your face.
You don’t have it in you to argue, his eyes staring back at you with sincerity. He wants to help. There’s no point in pushing him away, because as scared as you are about being too vulnerable with your trauma from that case, you trust him wholeheartedly. You know he won’t push for more than what you choose to share right now.
“Okay.” You nod and smile into the kiss he leans in for after the confirmation. 
“Okay. Now, you go and start some coffee.” he instructs softly with a wide grin, waving to the scattered chess ensemble. “ I’m going to clean up here and join you.”
“I love you!” You lean for another kiss and hushedly exclaim as you break away, receding towards the door. 
It’s Spencer’s turn to lose his breath. He’s affirmed his love for you countless times tonight and this is the first time you’ve verbally reciprocated it. He knows that it won’t be the last time either. That, to him, makes him the luckiest man in the world. He stops you from going any further by your arm and gently yanks you in his direction, crashing his lips with yours. 
“I love you too.” He whispers after the kiss, letting you go. 
Heat rises in your face again and you struggle to hide a huge dopey smile, one that Spencer has too. You’re floating on cloud nine, finally out of the blurry hurricane you’ve endured for months. There’s still a lot of things that you need to work out, but the thought of them doesn’t make you feel dread like it once did. 
"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love." - Socrates
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Spoilers: Yapperoni (so much dialog in this chapter), BAU! Reader, enemies (kinda) to lovers, hurt, comfort, love confessions (they might be a little too sappy, idk, I was sleep deprived), the praise made me giddy at some point, smut but I edge you by not writing out everything, happy ending.
AN - I have a little tiny fear that people (me) will nawt (I don’t) fuck with this monstrosity, but out of all my drafts, this felt like the most natural course of action. I thought it would be really fun to go from friends to enemies to lovers. Now, literally nobody talk to me about writing fics after this. Uni’s started, so I’ll be very inconsistent for a bit. Casual reminder: I am not Spencer Reid. I don’t have an IQ of 187. Any facts I make him spew could very well be bull-shit and he only spews them for the purpose of the story. I also have no knowledge of how the FBI works and lack a ton of common sense. A lot of things were made up for the purpose of this story.
A comment today keeps semicolon away (from showing up to your house and eating all your snacks).
Thank you for reading!
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saturnicos · 1 year ago
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Giving a bracelet to them
With: Adam, Alastor, Angel Dust, Charlie, Lucifer
ps:: reader's gender is not mentioned
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. Charlie
She absolutely adores! Extra points if it have some decoration with rainbow.
She'll use all the time, only take off when goes to bed and when goes to take a bath — she is worried if she ends up breaking or losing the pieces, so try to be as careful as possible.
As she organizes and takes care of hotel paperwork she tends to feel stressed, and unconsciously looks at the bracelet, a smile forming and her spirits slightly picking up again. She's really happy with the gift.
"Wait, this's for me? Really? It's so pretty, thank you so very much!"
. Alastor
He... Definitely have it.
Like, don't get me wrong, he just not knows how really feel about it since he has never received a gift before from anyone, except from his mother.
Deep inside, he actually likes it! The color scheme matching with his clothes, and it isn't so much decorated and colorful; or how he would like to say, simple things are more pretty.
Alastor isn't using the bracelet frequently, most because he not like that type of accessories so much. He'll probably use when is far from you, like a way to remember of you and stuff (this man don't use phone not even if the world frozen), but in the most of the time the bracelet probably will be in the pocket of his coat.
"What do you have there, my dear? Oh, a bracelet, that's very interesting."
. Adam
He... Definitely have it/2.
But it's the opposite.
He's a bitch that will probably mock about it, but will quickly change when you feel upset and try to leave him alone, saying something like "Just joking, Sugartits/Hunk, I actually liked that, give me".
He'll use ALL the time, except when he's going to the extermination.
He will 100% brag about the bracelet to anyone when he gets the chance, saying how you spent your time making gifts for him (he's a complete idiot that loved this thing, but will never admit bc high ego lol).
Lute can't stand him talking about this damn accessory anymore, please, she begs you not to give him anything else.
TOTALLY extra points if it has a guitar pendant.
"Of course you make it for me, after all, you are madly in love with me"
. Angel Dust
Now, I think it's important to point out that Angel would act a lot more like Anthony with his S/O.
Using this as a base, he'll be SO happy receiving a gift from you. Obviously, he'll make some dirty joke about it, but deep down he wonders why he received it if it's not a specific date.
This poor boy is emotionally broken, little acts like this make him feel so moved and loved ☹️
Every time that him have a breakdown and isolates himself, Fat Nuggets comfort him, laying next to him and gently plays with the bracelet (or if he isn't using, Fat Nuggets will pick it up and take it to him, as if knowing it is an object of comfort).
"A gift? For me? You're so kind, baby~."
. Lucifer
Listen to me: this man would probably feel so much like crying — with joy — and nothing convinces me otherwise.
He'd passed the lasts seven years alone, without any love or compassion, having you in his life it's a great gift for him. Now, receive a gift from someone that he considers his greatest gift? God-
He would also be one of the will use all the time. Seriously, this guy probably don't take it off in any occasion, it's a regular reminder that there is someone else besides Charlie who loves him.
He's so grateful to have you.
Later, he'll make matching necklaces with duck pendants for you, he thinks that's a lovely way to say thanks :)
"What is this, sweetie? Oh... I'll use, that's so beautiful, thank you a lot."
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Thank you for read !! I'm so sorry if this is ooc, but I hope it was pleasant anyway :)
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sanguineterrain · 9 months ago
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Hey, I love your writing, your Jason fics are always so tender and authentic
I was wondering if you would write something where Reader is pulled aside by someone and asked whether they're in danger (since Jason is pretty big and intimidating) and later they laugh it off because they find it absurd but it gets to Jason and perhaps brings some insecurities to the surface
this is actually devastating!!! thank you for requesting 🤌
jason todd x gn!reader. tw: wrongly assumed abuse and jason being gutted at the idea, hurt/comfort, reassurance, estab relationship.
****
"Chocolate is obviously superior."
Jason sighs, flopping against the diner booth dramatically. "What a shame to be so wrong. Vanilla stays on top."
"Vanilla is boring as hell, Jay," you say, throwing your napkin at him. He catches it. Of course. "On the milkshake hierarchy, vanilla is barely a step above whatever monstrosity a peppermint bark shake is."
"Buddy, I happen to like drinking toothpaste." He points a finger at you. "And that's my God-given right."
"It's an abomination is what it is." You take a long, pointed sip of your shake. "Mm, the taste of good choices."
Jason traps both of your legs between his under the table. You gasp and try to wiggle free, but his strength is merciless.
"If it's an abomination, why is it on the menu?" he asks, grinning as you squirm.
"Well, what else are they meant to serve you freaks?"
Jason gently tugs you forward by your legs. He leans over the table. You meet him halfway.
"This freak appreciates the thought," he says and kisses you.
He tastes like vanilla shake. It's not what you'd order, but you really don't mind kissing it off of Jason's mouth. Funny how that works.
He pulls away and releases your legs, then scoots out of the booth.
"Gonna take care of business. Don't drink my incredibly irresistible shake."
"I'll certainly try," you say, looking up at him with what are undoubtedly giant heart eyes.
Jason disappears to the restrooms. You drink your shake and focus on trying to craft the straw wrapper into a snake.
You're close to shaping it when a woman comes up to your table. You've never seen her in your life.
"Uh, hi," you say. "Can I help you?"
She glances around the diner before leaning down.
"Hey. Look, if you're... in need of someplace safe, there's a great shelter downtown."
Your brows rise. "I'm sorry?"
"I was in your shoes once too," she says, eyes wide. "You don't have to rely on a guy to get you on your feet. Especially someone like him."
You shake your head slowly. "I... what? I don't understand. The man I'm with, he's my boyfriend."
She looks skeptical. You turn to face her fully, because now you're properly bewildered.
"Uh, I appreciate that you're looking out for people, and I know stuff you're referring to is everywhere in Gotham. But I promise I'm okay."
"I know physical intimidation is scary—"
"Whoa." You hold up a hand. "Just because he's a big guy doesn't mean he's throwing me around. He's the gentlest man you'll ever meet. I love him and he loves me. No one is in danger."
The woman's mouth pinches. You don't even have it in you to be upset. You've never once felt afraid of Jason. But you forget how he looks to others, how he's twice or triple most people's size and covered in scars.
"Here's the number to the shelter," she says, slipping the paper under the salt shaker. "In case you change your mind."
She hurries out the door before you can respond. You stare at the card, then shrug. You suppose, if anything, you're happy there are still good Samaritans in Gotham.
Presently, Jason returns. He purposely makes his footsteps heard because of the countless times you've lectured him about scaring the shit out of you due to his habit of going stealth mode without realizing.
"Hello, dearest," he says. "I've returned from war."
"My hero. Did you wash your hands in battle?"
Jason slides into the booth and sticks his hand in your face. "Smell 'em and rejoice, baby."
You take his hand and give it a deep sniff. It indeed smells like soap. Not that you ever doubted your boyfriend's handwashing capabilities.
"Smells like... wrong opinions about milkshakes," you say, then kiss his palm.
He rolls his eyes. "I can see my absence has taught you nothing. Unfortunate."
"I'm stubborn. I'm sure you of all people can understand that," you say, smiling.
"Mm. Y'lucky you're cute."
Your food arrives, the waitress cheerily informing you that she hopes you enjoy your meal.
"I think she's the happiest person in Gotham," Jason says, shaking the ketchup bottle.
You take a fry from his plate. "Probably a Metropolis native."
"Y'know my fries are the exact same as yours, right?"
"Nope," you say. "Yours have special boyfriend cooties on them. Adds flavor."
"You're gross," Jason says, quite lovingly.
You make a heart with your hands. He returns it, then takes a bite of his burger.
You don't even register it when Jason grabs the salt shaker. You're zeroed in on your lunch and don't look up until he speaks.
"What's this?"
Jason's holding the shelter hotline card.
"Oh! Some lady came over and gave that to me."
"Gave it to you?"
You should clock Jason's tone and the way he's stopped eating completely. But the experience was so odd that you can't fathom Jason thinking it as anything but a mistake.
"Yeah. For some reason, she thought I was here drinking a milkshake with you against my will. Probably 'cause it's Gotham, and you're my BBB: big beefcake boyfriend. Little does she know, I'm the heavyweight boxing champion of Park Row."
You swirl your fries in Jason's ketchup. He doesn't even blink. Usually, he'd give you a raised eyebrow and pretend he's cross.
Jason's still staring at the card. You catch his legs with yours. He doesn't look up.
"Jay?" you ask, smile fading. You drop your legs. "Hey. Y'good?"
"Hm? Oh. Sorry, baby." He puts the card aside and smiles at you, quick and strained.
"Everything okay?" you ask.
"Yeah. Uh, fine."
"Jason." You lean over and grab his hand. "What's wrong?"
He swallows. You wait, the noise of the diner fading. All that matters is whatever's causing his absolutely heartbreaking expression.
"How could she think I'm hurting you?" Jason whispers, finally looking at you. "How could—I would never hurt you."
"Oh, Jay. Honey, that's why I hardly entertained her. It was so silly to think about. I was so puzzled at first that I couldn't even decipher what she meant."
"But what if... y'know, maybe she sensed something about me. Sensed violence. I get it. I'd–I'd be scared of me if I were a regular person."
"Jason, sweetie, no. No, no, no. I think that woman experienced some hard things in her life, and that caused her to see something that wasn't there. She had good intentions, but she was absolutely wrong. I know you have a past, but I've never felt unsafe with you. Never. I could never be afraid of you."
Jason gnaws on the inside of his cheek. You get up and slide in next to him, crowding him against the wall. You curl against his arm.
"You love me so well, I forget that most people see a monster when I walk down the street," he says.
You squeeze your eyes closed. Pins in your heart.
"You're not a monster, Jay. You're good. I know it. Your family knows it. You're a protector."
He takes a deep breath. "If–if you ever felt afraid of me, ever, and you wanted me to stay away, then you tell me so, and I'd leave you alone. No questions asked."
"Jason," you whisper. You wrap your arm around his neck and pull him close. The vinyl squeaks as you shift. "Jay, I love you. I don't want you to leave me alone."
"But if—"
"No. Please listen to me. I know you'd never hurt or frighten me. Sometimes, people are wrong. She was wrong about you. She was kind but wrong."
You sit like that for a bit, feeling each other breathe. Jason's hand grazes yours. You grab it, lacing your fingers together.
"I love you too," he says quietly. "Never felt anything but love for you."
You smile and steal another fry off his plate. He snorts.
"I know." You lean against his shoulder. "Never doubted it."
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everyonewooeverywhere · 3 months ago
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NSFW BLOG | MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED
boss!yunho who's so horrible to you that you think he hates you.
you started at your new job two months ago. you're first corporate job. and your supervisor, jeong yunho, just won't let you breathe.
on your first day he called you into his office. he stared you down, eyes grazing every inch of your body and told you, "go home and change." and when you'd looked at him wide-eyed and asked "why?" he'd pointed at your skirt and said, "it's way to short. you look incredibly unprofessional." your face had burned in embarrassment as you walked out of his office, completely missing the way that his eyes lit up when your little skirt bounced as you walked out of his office.
and he works you to the bone, giving you assignment after assignment until your forced to stay overtime. and you do it without complaint because you finally want to get on his good side. and he watches from his office as you try so desperately not to fall asleep. he loves what a good girl you are. and if you do happen to fall asleep, he'll wake you up by calling you to his office once again and scolding you for taking so long.
when you finally get to your breaking point he gets so excited. you have your first performance review, but everyone else's took so long that he has to give it to you after hours. so you come back to his office for what feels like the 100th time. and he berates you for nearly an hour about how little you've been contributing to the team and how your work has declined in quality significantly since you were hired. and he tells you that they might need to let you go.
and he about comes in his pants when you break into tears. sobbing into your hands. apologizing profusely. "i'm sorry, mr. jeong. i'm trying so hard. i just feel so lost, and i don't know what i'm doing wrong. i want to do better. i can't lose this job. it's all i have. i'll do anything."
he rises from his chair and comes around his desk to your side, and you look up at him with teary eyes. he cups your cheek and wipes a tear, making sure to smudge some of your mascara, "anything? are you willing to do anything ms. l/n?"
yunho's thoughts are full of ways he could absolutely ruin you. thoughts of you forced to stay under his desk all day warming his cock in your mouth. you spending these late nights bend over his desk until you've squirted all over the floor, and he makes you clean it up with your tongue. making you turning in topless photos of yourself on top of your usual paperwork.
you nod and he smiles down at you, "good girl."
"what did you have in mind?" you whispered. desperately trying to avoid looking at his crotch where his obviously hard cock was straining in his pants.
"on your knees, pretty girl."
you move without hesitation, "yes, sir."
he groans at your compliance. "god, i'm not even gonna have to break you, am i?" your wide eyes look up at him from your spot on the floor, "oh but i am gonna ruin you, baby. ruin you for anybody else."
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megvmins · 7 months ago
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THE MOST TOUCHSTARVED VS THE MOST TOUCHY BOYS AWARDS
warnings: none, very fluffy
a/n: now i'm only doing the top three as the headcanons could get pretty repetitive but i'll do some headcanons for more characters later in a different post.
touchstarved boys awards
#3 KAJI: I believe he doesn't need that much physical affection overall but most of it stems from him being terrified that he could snap back into his angry self. before hiragi helps him get the hang of it, he avoids you like the plague which in turn makes you feel like he hates your guts but it's the opposite. he cares for you too much to let you see him snap and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt you. but once he gets it under control? he does crave some skinship – holding hands is almost a must but sometimes the guys would tease him and he ends up throwing a hand around your shoulders/waist instead. 
#2 SUGISHITA: he avoids physical affection if it doesn't come from umemiya most of the time but sometimes he kind of misses the warmth of another person. when you start dating he becomes your shadow, stands behind you closer and closer every time until he brings himself to rest his chin on top of your head or shoulder if you are taller. if you point it out he will flush deep red that even sakura would be amazed and immediately lets go. he doesn't want many people in his personal space but you soothe his temper. loves when you hook his pinky finger with yours and swing your hands between you two. 
#1 SAKURA: obviously due to his life up until joining furin he didn't even know there could be physical touch that's good so when he figures it out he finds himself almost hungry for any little bit of physical affection. the hunger only grows with every little brush of your fingers when you walk side by side or playful ruffle of his hair even if you scold him by flicking his forehead he cherishes the warmth of your touch. he definitely won't slip up much in public as his embarrassment would literally make him explode like a volcano but in private? he would become a lot clingier. hugging you tight and not letting go as fast, volunteering his chest for you to sit against when watching a movie or intertwining your fingers with his before he drifts off to sleep with a dopey smile on his face when you're already deep in slumber.  
the most touchy boys awards (under the cut!)
#3 CHOJI: straight up doesn't understand personal space, it's free real estate for him. he pulls you around by your hand everywhere. it's honestly admirable how fast he walks even though he is not that tall but he will slow down for you if you tell him to. something in me tells me he loves head rubs and head pats as praise. loves surprising you with quick pecks on the lips or cheeks because “i just felt like giving you a kiss.” i also believe he moves around a lot during his sleep so only if you literally lock him down with your legs and arms are you safe from getting kicked off the bed or hit in the face when he rolls over.
#2 TSUBAKINO: same as ume, tsubaki is a naturally touchy person, it's part of who he is. in addition to him having the worst cute aggression and absolutely zero self-control about it. if at any point his brain says you look cute he will act on it. if you eat something and it makes you look like a chipmunk he will gush and coo and dab the corners of your lips for you. definitely pulls on your cheeks out of nowhere just to make you talk funny because he finds it adorable. sidehugs, backhugs, welcome home hugs, you-look-so-cute-i-could-eat-you-up hugs you name it he does it. also please please please brush his hair for him with his head on your lap or massage his head like that and he will melt. will do the same for you in a heartbeat.
#1 UMEMIYA: it goes without saying but he won't let a single chance escape him. he offers high-fives to you when something good happens just to intertwine your fingers once your palms touch and pull you in to kiss your forehead. one of his hands is always on you in some way – around your shoulders, on your lower back guiding you through crowds, on your thigh when sitting down to give you gentle reassurance that he's there. he's so clingy that it's weird when he isn't around. you get so used to him in your personal space that when he's not there, you feel a sense of loss – like something is clearly missing and then you see him running up to you like an excited golden retriever to hug you and spin you around and everything feels right again. 
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wandixx · 2 months ago
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DPxDC WEEK 2024
Day 2: "There is only so much you can do for the dead"
Trigger warning: mention of character death (who would have thought xD)
Something was off. Not enough to call it wrong, but eno8gh to be an obvious break in routine. M’gann could feel it in her bones.
Not only was Phantom still with them, in the Mountain, even though everything mission related was over, he was nervous too. The one sure thing about Phantom was that he didn't get nervous, no matter if he faced Batman, Light or almost god-like ghosts, he took them on with an easy smile and he always went back to Amity Park as fast as he could after mandatory Young Justice activities.
Rest of the Team caught onto it too, but they put on a good show of looking relaxed and unbothered. Wally went off to storm the kitchen, Robin and Artemis dropped on the couch, only feet and told of the ponytail visible over the backrest. Kaldur and Conner took armchairs, either reading (or rather holding the book opened on the random page) or nodding off (sitting with his eyes closed). Normally M’gann would either drift to the kitchen or get whoever occupied the couch to make some space for her, but as it was, she kept standing so Phantom would feel less awkward from his place by the door. He looked like he considered bolting and ever coming back. M'gann smiled at him.
She liked Phantom. He was kind and funny, always beyond helpful. He wasn't the best at combat, be it aerial or on the ground, but he was willing to listen and learn. He was a good listener. He understood her struggle with Mars better than she expected anyone on Earth. He had a pretty smile.
There was no sign of it now.
“So…” Phantom started and everyone whipped around to look at him. Even Wally “coincidentally“ got back from the kitchen right at that moment (M’gann called him, like he asked) “I know it's not something we do, but uhm… do you maybe have a spare room I could borrow on Monday? Soundproof if you have it?”
Robin dropped back down, but turned on his wrist computer and jumped between some pages. M’gann didn't see a point in that, since they obviously had spare soundproof rooms, but she kept quiet. Robin usually knew what he was doing.
“No problem, why though?”
Phantom winced, rubbing the back of his neck. M'gann's nose wrinkled when she sensed a tangled mess of his feelings but she (barely) stopped herself from looking deeper. He wouldn't like it in the slightest.
Small red dot blinked from Robin's computer. He was recording it. Smart move.
“It's… it's a bit… ugh, I don't know how to even start”
“Take your time”
“I've been taking my time for two weeks, it's time I actually say it” he groaned, rubbed his face so hard it got a little bit greener and started again “Apparently, ghosts have this thing called Death Day and mine is coming. During this time, I'll re-live… re-die… re-experience my death and then just lie unresponsive for a few hours. It's supposed to lessen with time, but it's my first so… you know”
Everyone froze for a moment. It's not that they didn't know that Phantom was a ghost and ergo that he died, but… it was easy to forget when he had so many powers that for M’gann saw as normal, it was easy to forget with the way he bled, it was easy to forget with how he talked about his live still in present tense, it was easy to forget with how painfully normal he tried to be all the time.
But then he'd say something and make them remember. No matter how many times it happened, it was never easier to remember.
“That's… rough,” Wally muttered awkwardly.
“Yeah. I'm kinda scared actually.”
“No shit, it sounds terrifying even as a concept. Though, why soundproof?” Artemis asked, more curious than demanding. Phantom curled in on himself, looking and feeling like he needed only a slightest trigger to fully disappear.
“I will be screaming. Of course, I don't remember the time I actually died, but I was told I screamed, really loud. I don't want you to hear it. No need for you to feel guilty over something that already happened”
This felt… weird and M’gann wanted to elaborate but then Phantom’s phone buzzed and in five seconds flat he was out with a last yell of:
“Something came up in Amity, gotta go!”
***
Pshshshksh
“Hey Phantom, we've got an idea about your D Day”
“Never call it that again, I swear to God Kod Flash”
“Alright, alright. But do you want to hear our idea?”
“Shoot”
“We thought we could get you something for your grave. Aqualad reached out to some contacts to learn more about ghost stuff and apparently it should help”
“Huh, that's nice. There is only one problem”
“Yes?”
“I don't have a grave”
***
They were supposed to have a free afternoon, they already got all adults to back off, even Robin went to convince Batman to cancel all of the training and missions planned. They didn't explain why. Phantom hadn't said a word about adults, it felt like a betrayal to mention it outside of their circle.
They were supposed to have a free afternoon, so they could keep Phantom safe and be close in case he needed anything even if he said he'd rather have them as far as he could. They weren’t going to listen in of course, but there was no way they'd stay away.
They were supposed to have a free afternoon, but then, right after Phantom showed up, alarms started blaring, because it had to be the day when there was an emergency in Happy Harbour and they were the only ones on the watch. Because of course there was.
And of course Phantom went with them despite the protests, waving them off by saying his Death Day shouldn't start for a bit longer.
It wasn't reassuring.
Especially not with how he stumbled halfway through the hangar and was loopy in a way M’gann could sense without even a psychic glance in his direction.
“When exactly is your Death Day? Like, do we have hours or minutes?” Conner asked, clearly worried about his friend.
Phantom leaned awkwardly on the rough wall, trying and failing to look relaxed and casual instead of barely keeping himself upright.
“I'm not quite sure honestly–”
“WHY THE HELL YOU WENT ON THE MISSION THEN!!!”
Robin, maybe a bit frantically, waved at the ghost to make him follow.
“Chill Artemis, please. My senses are already going haywire, I would really appreciate it if everyone stuck to their indoor voice. Death Day mess starts only when I'm feeling safe, so don't worry, it wouldn't hinder the rescue”
“That's literally not the point but you seem out of it right now, we will talk when you're lucid again,” Artemis sighed, and nodded at M’gann who raised Phantom off the floor after he stumbled on the even ground for the third time.
They were following Robin, who was posturing confidence while he led the way to the room he picked, but without the usual bounce to his step. Wally was on Phantom’s other side with a plate of cookies he somehow got in the meantime, as if it gave him any purpose to follow other than worry, while everyone else trailed behind, not bothering with even a thin veil to cover their concern.
Even Phantom caught onto that, despite being almost loopy enough to start some deep philosophical debate with the next “incredibly intelligent looking” shadow, but kept it to himself. As far as M’gann could tell without going in deeper, he seemed happy if moved by all of their attention.
“How else can we help you?“ Kaldur asked, growing more and more angry with silence and inability to do anything of use.
“N'thin’” ghost slurred “Lithewally. ‘m suwe you want t’ help buh… buh… ‘m already dead, you c’n't do ‘nythin’. You c'n't save muh. No ned f’r you t’ see it. F'rget ‘bout it”
Nobody said anything to that, because what could they say?
Robin opened the door solemnly and M’gann carried Phantom over to the bed while everyone else came in, dragged in by both concern and morbid curiosity. Phantom refused to settle in though, desperately looking at each of them.
“Please, promise you'll forget about that” he begged again, in the surprising moment of lucidity.
“We will” Someone lied.
“Thanks. Now go,” Phantom said with a choked up smile before going limp like a puppet without strings. For a long moment nobody moved, just staring as Phantom’s body laid unmoving, as if they were watching a car accident that they just couldn't drag their eyes away from.
“Rigor mortiss is settling in” Artemis posted out with horrible emptiness in her voice. Robin suddenly looked ill. Wally put down the cookie plate on the nightstand with a loud clatter, before booking it out of there and dragging Artemis and Kaldur out with him. M’gann caught Conner and Robin, both still to stunned to move on their own, and lead them out at much slower but still quite hasty pace.
First gut wrenching scream rang out before the door fully closed.
There was no way they'd ever forget that.
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