#obviously a person is allowed to be hurt over a partner cheating in any case it's just. the hypocrisy & tunnel vision of it all. incredible
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i'm watching love mechanics (this is a mess. i love a mess) and the end of episode 3 is truly like. "hey guy i had drunk sex with once and am unreasonably interested in and keep following around and very openly hitting on. my girlfriend is cheating on me and i feel so betrayed rn. let me tell you, guy i keep kissing and flirting with while having a girlfriend, how much it hurts to know that my girlfriend is kissing and flirting with another guy. do you, guy who i secretly hope has feelings for me, know how shitty it is to watch the person you have feelings for be with someone else? this is so awful who would ever do that to a person 😔 anyway let's make out in the rain"
#obviously a person is allowed to be hurt over a partner cheating in any case it's just. the hypocrisy & tunnel vision of it all. incredible#everyone here is making almost every wrong choice!! i love it!!#but vee in particular is like. if you ever don't know what to do just think about what vee would do. and then do the opposite#when mark went 'we probably shouldn't see each other anymore' (very smart. very reasonable)#and vee went 'ok. :( anyway let me spray perfume on you and sniff you because i need an anniversary gift for my girlfriend'#^ amazing. this man has the social grace and willpower of a goldfish#*#love mechanics
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How to Write Devastating Betrayals (Pt. 2)
[FIND PT. 1 on @ grace_should_write on IG, or by scrolling through my Tumblr profile!]
Here are more elements + tips on satisfying betrayals that will destroy both your characters AND your readers! Sorry for the wait... 😅 As usual, the examples all contain spoilers!
1. How does the TRAITOR feel?
This is first because I feel it's SO so undercovered. I've definitely seen lots of tips about viscerally describing the feelings of the betrayed, but...how does the traitor feel?
Let's use the example of cheating, universally recognized as one of the biggest forms of romantic betrayal. Obviously, the person getting cheated on will probably feel devastated, but this betrayal can be made even MORE gut-wrenching if the writer explores how the cheater feels.
Maybe there's guilt that occurs before, during, and after the cheating. It might build over time, going from a small tinge to absolutely crippling shame. The cheater will probably realize what they really lost after they get caught. Maybe they reminisce on all the good times they had with their proper partner and immediately feel thrown back into reality, asking themselves how they could ever have done what they did. Maybe, after all this, it still kills them to see their partner so hurt by their actions.
Guilt is one of the most common feelings traitors have after betrayals, but a portrayal of the flip side—a ruthless, pragmatic satisfaction—can also be interesting.
One of the best historical examples I've seen of this is the life of Joseph Fouché, a French politician active from the 1789 French Revolution all the way to 1816, during the Bourbon restoration. For reference, that's a crazy long period of time for any politician to hold so much (albeit behind the stage) power.
Aside from being a master at political scheming and intrigue plots, he was known as a "chameleon"—able to seamlessly and shamelessly shift his loyalties. He never really committed to a single group or person, always joining a group as soon as it became, or had the potential to become, influential, and leaving it (often actively working against it) as soon as the group was projected to lose power.
One of the biggest manifestations of this is the juxtaposition of his own childhood to his adulthood—he was raised and educated in the Church and even taught in a Catholic institution for a while during his young adulthood. He never harboured any sort of hatred against the Church.
Then, when the French Revolution rolled around and religion was seen as highly unpopular and ultra-traditional, he was one of the most enthusiastic church ransackers and dechristianizers. He wanted to "[abandon] the role of religion in society altogether" just one year after he'd advocated for "the role of the [Church] in education." He pulled this sort of turncoat trick on group after group, even including Napoleon.
While guilt is generally recognized as emotionally effective, the LACK of guilt in a traitor is a super underrated tool. Often, a lack of guilt can be even more surprising and jarring to the reader, eliciting not only sadness, but anger, or just pure shock at how depraved humans can be. If the context doesn't really call for those emotions, at least this type of betrayal will be quite memorable.
KEY POINT: If it's something 100% morally reprehensible, e.g. cheating in a safe relationship, a parent selling a child for money, a friend betraying another purely for power, etc., NEVER justify the traitor's actions.
Showing the side of the traitor doesn't exonerate them; it just allows the reader to get hit with the full complexity of both parties' emotions. Twice the turmoil!
Of course, in more morally complex cases, you could choose to mainly explore the traitor's actions and motivations. For example, Brutus betrayed his friend Julius Caesar because he thought Caesar was becoming a tyrant who would take away democracy from the Roman Republic.
Here, Brutus' betrayal could be condemned if you purely look at it as "a friend betraying a friend." However, it could also be justified if you see it more as "a person sacrificing a personal relationship for the greater good of a nation."
2. How does the BETRAYED feel?
This point is definitely covered more than the previous one, so it will be shorter. However, here are a few other ideas of how the betrayed character can feel/react instead of the typically seen, angry "WHAT THE HECK? No way! How dare you?!"
they had suspicions very early on, and the betrayal doesn't shock them as much as it confirms their beliefs -> emotions like sadness, disappointment, and generally less aggressive forms of resentment will probably come out. (e.g. I can't remember where I've seen this but I have lol...but have a meta example. Think of when YOU see a character with major betrayal flags actually betray! Isn't that feeling just...more quiet resentment than fury? Now, think of how a character would feel)
they are understanding. Even if they're surprised, they can see why the betrayed chose to do what they did and aren't as resentful as they are compassionate. (e.g. Il-nam when Gi-hun betrays him in the show Squid Game)
they accept it. Although similar, this is still different from "understanding" because the betrayed character doesn't necessarily sympathize with the traitor; they just acknowledge that they're powerless to do anything at the moment, and they won't waste any energy getting angry. (e.g. Jesus when Judas betrays him)
quiet horror. No room for aggressive resentment, just that slowly dawning feeling of fear or hurt when they realize it happened. (e.g. Lydia Rodarte-Quayle when Walter White betrays her at the very end of the show Breaking Bad)
A diverse range of reactions can help your reader be more emotionally receptive. Seeing the same type of reaction to fictional betrayals can be quite numbing—these less commonly used ideas can feel more like cutting open a fresh wound, instead of rubbing salt in an existing one, if you get what I mean...
3. Aftermath of the betrayal
I RARELY see this covered at all, so I'll slip this in here: Betrayal is MORE than just the moment, even more than the foreshadowing in events leading up to it.
One of the most important parts of betrayal is the aftermath. The key question to ask yourself is: what is left behind?
What is lost? What is left? Most importantly, WHAT HAS CHANGED?
Now's your chance to imply, or even show, how the betrayed person/people/party will recover. Will they do it healthily, or destructively? What does this mean for the future of their relationships (existing or potential), endeavours (are plans ruined or improved?), self-image, and anything else important?
For example, lots of characters go on their angsty, "I'll never open up to anyone ever again and I'll brood forever" arc after a betrayal. Still, others try to process the betrayal as it tanks their self-worth. Of course, there are characters who process their betrayal through healthier coping mechanisms. They might choose to continue trusting and being open in the future.
For bigger parties, it can be even more complicated. Was the traitor an important person in an organization? Will the organization collapse without them, or will it thrive because they were only in it because of non-skill-related reasons? How did other people in the organization see them? So many options!
The aftermath can amplify feelings of anger, sadness, emptiness, or anything else your readers feel after your betrayal. It also allows for a more satisfying story conclusion (if that's what you're going for). It will even help your readers be even MORE invested in your characters because a betrayal is another big milestone that they've now experienced along with your characters.
∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘
instagram: @ grace_should_write
WHEW! Took a while before I finally fished this one out of my drafts and continued it. I love LOVE media and historical analysis in general, so I hope the length of this post is kinda complemented by the information I tried to provide.
I hope everyone's doing well! I'm super excited for a grad trip to ITALY NEXT WEEK!!!! As such, I might miss a post over that weekend, but stay tuned for more posts that week before then! Thank you all so much for engaging with my posts, it means the world ❤️
Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated :)
Happy writing, and have a great day!
- grace <3
#writers on tumblr#writing#writing tips#booktok#writing advice#writeblr#novel writing#novel#writerslife#writergram#wattpad#media analysis#wip#ya fantasy#plot holes#story telling#characters#writing ideas#writing a book#fictional characters#betrayal#oc#writing stories#creating characters#ya books
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Season Secrets: August 7 Your Partner is NOT your therapist (and neither are his friends or yours)
It’s very tempting to tell your partner every single detail of your life and it’s genuinely allowed, they are your partner but love, not all partners have our best interests at heart. It can backfire and if it does, it’s going to hurt so before you decide to pour your heart, your daily recaps and any insecurities you must watch them.
You must watch your conversations and notice if it is always you talking. Of course, if you know your partner isn’t the talking type and has always been that way then it's okay to an extent but don’t take this disclaimer and run for the hills, you need to analyse if they really are that way or if they are that way with you. Don’t fall for “I just like listening to you” or “Your voice makes me happy”. All of that might be true but if your partner refrains from sharing about their lives but always indulges you to share about yours, you might potentially have a problem. As @honestsinnerrr has said before, ‘Men are info diggers’ and they will use the information you give against you and not only them but people in general.
You must listen to what they ask and really hear them. If they seem to constantly steer the conversation to a particular topic ask yourself why. What value does that topic present to them? What information are you giving and what can they do with it? If push comes to shove and what you’ve said comes out what is the impact?It is so important to know or at least have an inkling of knowledge about someone’s motives, especially your partners and friends.
You must watch who they are without you and find out why it is the case. You cannot tell me, they are the most talkative person on earth or the most charismatic person with an audience but with you they are suddenly a mouse caught in a trap.If they act of character they want something and are finding out how to get it. Miss me with the BS of “ He gets shy with me” or “She just likes when I do this and that” Sir, Ma’am that might be the case but surely, is it? On this point, you should also intently listen to the petty gossip you hear about them(obviously from reliable sources) , it will give you a sense of who they are and will aid your decision in trusting them with the intricacies of your life.
You might also be wondering why I mentioned your partner’s friends in the title. That was for us clueless babes.If you complain about your partner to their friends they will not only relay all of it to your partner but more often than not they don’t care about you and it will be these friends who cover for your partner if they cheat or do something of the sort. They hold no loyalties to you. Remember that.
It is important to watch the people in our lives because we can’t just disclose everything to everyone and before you decide what you can disclose with whoever, please babe, these topics… are off until they reach best friend status.
Relationship Issues - Refer to a therapist or two friends max
Family Issues - Again therapist ( There’s absolutely no reason to be spilling family drama on to the group chat)
Money - Even with the closest of the closest , unless you are declaring bankruptcy and need a couch to sleep on , we don’t do that here.
Your friend’s issues - Why are you telling your partner your friend’s business when they told you in confidence, I personally think that it’s plainly disrespectful unless your partner can help them in one way or another.
Your future plans - This could be due to evil eye or unnecessary sabotage from randoms but it is also psychological. When we talk about plans that haven’t manifested yet to lots of people we trick our minds into believing that we have actually achieved our goals and that in turn makes us less likely to achieve them
There’s always more to add and feel free to do so (don’t be extreme lovies) but I’d like to mention that as much as your friends/partners can screw you over with the information you give them, it is also extremely important to not become closed off in an effort to protect yourself because every single relationship platonic or not is a risk and after you’ve done your trust risk assessment and you deem them people you can trust, their dishonesty is not on you baby. I’ve been there, I traded meaningful conversations for surface level pleasantries and I missed out on significant connections because I was scared of being hurt again. Being hurt is always a risk but if you always live in defence mode you aren’t living so you must find a balance. My friend says “ You can only live a good life if you throw yourself completely into it and that’s every aspect of it. So loving like you’ve never loved before, living like you’ve never loved before, laughing like you’ve never loved before, trusting like you’ve never trusted before even though other things have given you reason not to because the moment you start to restrict yourself and hold yourself back , you diminish the quality of your life.”
You need to take the risk
but only if it’s calculated.
Love,
Quesa
#season secrets#level up#black women in luxury#manifesting#boundaries#self reflection#self love#self care#spoiled gf#relationships#responsibility#manifest#things ive learned#security#law of abundance#expectations#success#Spotify
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finale feelings
Okay, I have a ton of feelings about the finale, and now that I’ve had some time to think them through, I’ll write them. Please be kind, I’ve seen the series once only, I’m really tired, and I’m sure this was all said before.
Okay firstly let’s just put aside Catherine as a character in and of herself… that whole thing made no sense. Catherine never showed an inkling of having the sort of skills to decode anything, much less being one of only two people in the world who could decode a thing. That was silly and just an excuse to get her back on Steve’s radar. Not to mention that Catherine just never showed much interest in Steve. I’ll come back to Catherine later as she stands as an external prop for Steve’s character, but I think we can just leave it here that Catherine’s character, for herself, made 0 sense.
Let’s focus on Steve.
Steve broke my heart this episode. The worst part is that I don’t think what he did was actually OOC. Steve has a pretty long and uncomfortable history of putting his own needs over Danny’s, starting from when he first met him and forced him to be his partner. I get where Steve was coming from, but this whole army commander take what I need for the mission attitude is the whole problem. Consulting Danny even as a courtesy never entered Steve’s mind.
(more below cut)
Steve just does this with Danny continually throughout the series, like leaving him with a letter to run off chasing Shelburne. Again, he doesn’t bother even consulting Danny as a courtesy before he leaves. He has an objective, Danny doesn’t fit that objective except to keep his seat warm in 5-0. He honestly just never gives Danny even basic autonomy, from things like choosing his lunch for him right through to putting him in situations he’s not comfortable with. Sometimes Steve pushing Danny is definitely a good thing since Danny does get paralyzed by fear (the incident where Steve pushed Danny into jumping across the building gap springs to mind; if they hadn’t have done that they would have died) but sometimes it’s just more of Steve has an objective to achieve, and Danny is a means to achieve that objective (the skydiving incident).
I don’t mean to slam Steve’s character, and I’ve known quite a lot of people like this! They’re good people, they just need a lot more emotional development. Between the two of them I think Danny’s a lot more emotionally mature and empathetic, and they’re quite good for each other in many ways. But Steve is very selfish, in the sense that his focus is always on himself. What he wants, what his objective is, how the things around him make him feel. With where Steve’s head is at, I don’t think he fully and completely understands Danny as an individual human being with his own needs. Hell, he even bullies Danny into including him in his retirement plan and abandoning said retirement plan.
With Steve’s focus always within his own head, and the people around him established as tools he can use to achieve his own ends, I can really start to understand Steve’s severe control issues in season 10 in particular. His mother dying was what sealed his fate, really. I think it was really the first time a person close to Steve fully used their own initiative and choice to go against what Steve said, and Steve trying to force his mother to do what he wanted and become a controllable force in his self-directed life ended up getting her killed. And that screwed him up badly. I don’t think he fully processed his role in his mother’s death properly. He ends up dumping Danny, who is really the love of his life, saying he needs time for himself, that he’d spent a decade saving everyone else. In reality I think Steve is just spiralling from loss of control. He tries to regain some control by cutting out the more unpredictable variables: the other people in his life.
Then Danny gets kidnapped and tortured. This is obviously devastating for Steve, because Danny really is the love of his life. And Steve kind of loses it, but he loses it in a very interesting way. Steve gives up all control to Daiyu Mei. He doesn’t even entertain not letting her control the situation. Danny’s been in danger before, but Steve has never given up control so completely like this before.
Steve’s really broken by this. And it’s the hardest he’s ever taken Danny getting hurt. Because I think he’s less broken by Danny getting hurt as much as it is leftover trauma from his mother’s death and spiralling loss of control.
He winds up leaving Danny when Danny can hardly move and must have only just been released from the hospital, and isn’t that a dick move. He claims he’s going to “find himself” but I think he’s just running away from people in order to regain a sense of control. He can’t control other people. He couldn’t control Danny being taken or his mother making the choices she did in Mexico. If he’s alone, he can gain full control over the situation.
And Danny? Well, Steve sort of has him trapped. Danny can’t leave - he has a son, it’s implied Steve gave him his dog to look after and possibly his house, and while he’s injured Danny can’t go and get himself into dangerous situations that Steve feels the need to save him from. Danny sort of becomes an ornament in Steve’s home ready to welcome him when he comes back. Steve’s been on record several times being pretty aggressive about Danny staying in Hawaii, but he’s never shown remorse for leaving himself, and he doesn’t here.
I hate to characterise Danny as Steve’s “wife” but that’s the dynamic I get from them. You see it so often in married couples, particularly married couples where the husband has to travel for work, whether that’s military, mining, corporate, trucking, what have you. The husband has his goal, his life, and he sees his wife as someone to support that and make it happen. This is exactly what happened in my own family, as I had a travelling father. His need to fulfil himself drove him away again and again, and my mother, trapped where she was by children and the obligations her husband abandoned her to deal with, was left to clean up his mess. It’s what happens when the husband is selfish in the way Steve is - the emotionally more mature wife has to clean up the parts of his life he won’t deal with. In Steve’s case Danny is left with a bullet hole, a dog, a house full of ghosts, and a lot of mourning friends. Not to mention the kids Steve abandons. And there must be more too. Steve leaves a week after Danny is shot. That really doesn’t leave much time for Steve to get his affairs in order. I think he left Danny to clean up his emotional mess.
Minus the bullet hole, I’ve seen my mother go through very similar things. And it can destroy your sense of self. You end up living for the ghost of your husband as he pursues what he perceives as his destiny. It’s a really shitty thing but it’s so common. Every family I know with a travelling husband ended up like this.
Back to Catherine. As established Catherine as her own character makes no sense at all. But Catherine’s role in the finale as an extension of Steve’s character does make some sense. Steve is running away from his stable family, the love of his life, his role as a parent to Nahele, Grace, and Charlie - he’s running from all the progress he has made, because he is afraid of losing control the way he did when he lost his mother, and when Danny was taken from him. Catherine is safe. She’s Steve’s easy emotional release and fuck buddy. She’s familiar. And she’s basically Steve’s mother. A flaky CIA agent who always picks the job over Steve is far more familiar and therefore comforting to him than a stable family life with Danny. In his panic Steve runs from all the progress he has made back to Catherine.
It actually reminds me a lot of a wonderful fic I read, the love that you gave by Teeelsie. I never thought I’d read a cheating fic, let alone a McDanno cheating fic, because McDanno is my all time OTP, but this fic was highly recommended and wow, did it nail it. The fic is more about Steve’s internalised homophobia, but I think the way it relates to the show is in how Steve panics and goes back to the familiar. Back to Catherine. It’s a common thing just in life. It’s also extremely common for these travelling husbands that I think characterise Steve to be cheating on their wives, too. Now I’m just pretending Catherine wasn’t there, because it makes no sense for her to be there (jfc, she wasn’t a codebreaker and how did she know he would be on the plane anyway, and was she just sitting in transit in Honolulu waiting for Steve to get on the plane like a stalker) but I think there’s an element of “emotional cheating” to what Steve’s going through when he runs away from the emotional risk that is staying with Danny at the end.
So basically I don’t think Steve running off was OOC. I think it was very in character. What was so frustrating was that the story clearly isn’t over. Running away will not solve Steve’s many issues, and he really does need Danny - and Danny needs him. Steve desperately needs to learn to stop being so selfish and see Danny and the others as full and complete human beings with their own complex needs. It’s tough because Steve pushing Danny was very good for Danny in many respects, so I want to see them learn to thread that line where Danny doesn’t get treated like an emotional doormat, but he also isn’t allowed to just retreat to the safety of familiarity all the time either - he needs a little McGarrett magic in his life!
But after what Danny told Steve when they were stuck in the building collapse, it’s going to be hard for them after this. Danny doesn’t have to look at Steve and imagine him leaving him any longer. Danny now has the memory of it.
tl;dr Steve is a whacked out, certifiable control freak.
#hawaii five 0#h50#mcdanno#steve mcgarrett#danny williams#meta#sorry for word vomit#you've probably heard all this before#i'm new okay
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How polyamory prepared me for COVID
For anyone who practices safer sex -- or at least is familiar with it -- there are some obvious parallels with COVID-19 lockdown rules.
FIRST, and most obviously, it’s the whole issue of using protection. And instead of just protecting a limited portion of your anatomy from touching a limited portion of another’s anatomy, we are are talking about protection for coming within six feet of each other. Or even coming into contact with something they touched. Can you get it from a doorknob? Do I want to take the risk?
NEXT, there’s the fact that we need to trust that the other person will disclose if they have something that you will catch, if they even know they have it at all. Many STIs including HIV are not obvious. If the infected person doesn’t get tested they may be unaware they have something to disclose. Part of safer sex is assuming that everyone is infected unless proven otherwise. That’s exactly what’s going on with COVID. We’ve got to assume everyone is spreading it around, unless they have a test, and even then we aren’t sure how much we can trust the tests yet. And let’s be clear, some people just fucking lie.
THIRDLY, there’s people who will just make the lamest excuses not to wear a mask/condom. “It’s too hard to breathe!” “I can’t feel anything!” “I know I’m not infectious. Don’t you trust me?” “Only this time, it won’t make a difference.” “I use it with everyone else, I promise, so I don’t have to with you.” “Masks don’t really work.” “Condoms don’t really do anything.” If you’ve heard the lame excuses from those who don’t wear masks (mostly men), you can guess that these snowflakes also complain they can’t get off with a condom. Sounds like a personal problem to me!
BUT FOR POLYAM FOLKS, there’s more.
I’ve been polyamorous and sexually promiscuous for four and a half years. And although I’ve slowed down a lot, almost to the point of living monogamously during COVID, at one time I had six sexual and romantic partners and a handful of fuck buddies. It required a mindset and a set of skills that apply as well to living during COVID.
CHOOSE YOUR DYNAMIC! There’s so many different ways to be non-monogamous. Some of which are of questionable ethics (don’t ask don’t tell, and cheating, to name two), but there’s also strict hierarchical polyamory, egalitarian, relationship anarchy, and a myriad others. Some of these have clear parallels to life in quarantine.
NO CONTACT - You ever know anyone who is so afraid of being hurt in a relationship whether physically or emotionally, that they retreat from any interaction with anyone and end up alone? It’s sad. Basically this is the tact that is recommended by many during lockdown. Stay home. Zero contact. Have everything delivered and wipe everything down thoroughly. It’s a hard way to live, but some people have chosen it. The only way to avoid a car accident is to never get in a car, and even then, one could crash into your living room, and you have no control over that.
MONOGAMY - Hey, you don’t live alone, so you’re going to have to interact with someone. That someone is going to share your commitment to being safe. You have each other, but no one else. And ALL of your emotional, physical, and perhaps social needs are focused on that one person. For those of us who live with a nesting partner, that’s what we were doing, at least during the first couple of months of lockdown. It can be trying, but we lean in to the commitment that we have with that other person and hope to ride it out.
POLYFIDELITY - In polyamory, this is not my dynamic, but I see real value to this during the pandemic. In polyfidelity - or some call it closed polyamory - three or more people commit to only have sex within that polycule. New entrants into the group are approved by everyone even if they are only having sex with one, and provide documentation that they’ve been recently tested. The upside: unprotected sex!. The downsides: limits on bodily autonomy and requires a high level of trust that no one is cheating on the side. Why would this work for COVID? Imagine you had one household or even two that your household would socialize with and those other households were committed to limiting their interaction to this group of households. It could be a single person who would otherwise be living alone. It could be relatives, neighbors, or even someone that you share a hobby with. Everyone would need to trust that the others were following the rules, but the upside would be dinner parties, game nights, and backyard barbecues. (And for you kinky fuckers, it could also be extended members of your polycule who can come over for playtime.)
RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY - Now this is a bit of a challenge. For those not familiar, RA says basically that everyone has complete bodily and emotional autonomy and is responsible for their own decisions. It creates all sorts of challenges, but requires participants to make concerted value assessments of every person and every situation. A lot of people who practice RA swear by safer sex practices because it allows themselves and others to make decisions. I’ve tended to a form of RA when I was extremely active. Condoms even with committed partners, but it allowed me to set aside a lot of trust issues. I was looking after my safety and the safety of my partners, and didn’t need to ask as many questions about what my partners were doing with others. In the Age of COVID, this is what many are doing. I frankly think it’s dangerous. If you go back to the first point all the way at the top of this screed, you’ll see the different between sex and covid is that covid is about proximity, not just sexual contact. If god forbid I came down with a STI, even when I was sexually promiscuous, I could tell you the name of every person I’d had sex with in the previous three months. And I could count on one finger (or less) how many I’d had unprotected sex with. But if you got covid, could you name everyone that you’d come within six feet of in just the last week? It would be easier if you were wearing a mask or limiting the circle of people you interact with, wouldn’t it? In any case, this sort of freewheeling libertarian do-what-you-want approach to COVID protection is something that might not be a good idea. But if it is, it requires value assessments of every person and every situation.
NOW ONTO COMMUNICATION -- If you’re polyamorous, you’ll know that maintaining relationships requires honest direct communication frequently. This is perhaps the biggest way that polyam prepared me for the pandemic. Its uncountable the number of times my partner and I have checked in on the comfort of the other person about where we wanted to go or who we wanted to visit during the last six months. Whether it’s going down to the office, picking up take out, or visiting an elderly friend, we discuss what our boundaries and limits are, just as we would when exploring new romantic or sexual relationships. We discussed what it meant when we invited my ex-wife and kids to join us on our “quaranteam.” When our roommate - who had been sheltering in place outside the country - asked to come back for a few weeks, we all discussed what our comfort levels where and shared what precautions we had been taking.
These are polyamory skill sets. Things I’ve practiced in my romantic life for half a decade and that I’m sure that some of you have for longer. It hasn’t made it easier, but it made the transition to lockdown life smoother.
Polyamorous folx usually understand that their bodily autonomy must be balanced with respect for others and understanding that there will be social consequences when you fail to communicate and honor others boundaries.
What do you think? Does this resonate with you? Are there any other ways that non-monogamous life translates to the COVID age?
#covid-19#safer sex#safe sex#polyam#polyamory#polyamorous#caronavirus#covid#quarantinelessons#quarantine life#journal#2020#July 2020
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OWP (but make it December?) Day 12 - My BFF
These are back too! I forgot I had already written this one (bless) so I guess the one that’s basically just silliness will have to wait until tomorrow... oops?
Read on AO3
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JJ had brought the game under the guise that they could only play so much poker in a five hour flight.
Kit knew that it was really because Hotch would never let them play five hours of poker on the jet. Someone would come away wounded.
She also knew it was for her benefit. She’d been working between sites for two months, and she didn’t know much about anyone on the team, save for Morgan. Even with their morning workouts, they were surface level friends at best.
Somehow she thought that it might have been Hotch behind it, but she couldn’t be sure, and she wasn’t going to ask. While still holding fast to the mantra that she wasn’t a part of the BAU team, the more they made an attempt to include her, the more she wished it were true.
“Okay, this one says, who’s your best friend?”
“Lame,” Elle said, her small grin full of mirth. Morgan nodded, “Yeah, that’s a boring one. Why do you always pick the most mellow cards, Jayje?”
JJ pouted momentarily. “You have to pick off the top, Morgan. What was I supposed to do, look through the cards until I found one I liked? That’s cheating.”
“Actually, I don’t think you can cheat in games like this, because there isn’t a point system. No winner, or loser, would be affected by the cards chosen.”
“This isn’t a game you can win,” Kit said, “If there isn’t a point system, how would you win at all?”
Reid thought for a moment with his eyebrows pulled together before he looked over at JJ and said simply. “This isn’t a game.”
“I didn’t say it was a game,” JJ said evenly, though the annoyance radiating off of her was entirely palpable. Elle shrugged as she and Morgan shared a look, but Spencer wasn’t done. “Actually, you said ‘Okay everyone, we aren’t playing cards for five hours, we’re playing a game that’-”
“Who’s your best friend, Reid?” Elle said, effectively both cutting off his verbatim quote of JJ from an hour before, and his impending death-by-Kit-glare if he continued. She hated when he quoted someone back to themselves. It felt like Reid trying to show off, and she hated a show off.
Reid was clearly caught off guard, though he was the one next to JJ. The rule was that everyone had to answer but the person holding the card, and Reid was seated on JJ’s other side. “Oh, um. I don’t know. Morgan?”
“Aw, thanks Pretty Boy,” Morgan said, heckling from across the table. “I’ll say you, but just because you said me, and you make the coffee in the breakroom almost good compared to the way Elle makes it.”
Elle, who was next to Morgan, rolled her eyes and shoved at him. “Listen, that coffee sucks without my help.”
“Who’s your best friend, Elle?” JJ asked, she and Kit sharing the same laugh as they watched the two bicker back and forth. Elle thought for a second before she said, “I guess Liza. She and I went through the academy together, and then we were both in Seattle. We get together when she’s in town and try to talk, but…” She trailed off and gestured vaguely, but they all knew. Kit nodded along with the others. She felt like she barely ever talked to her siblings anymore, especially the ones she didn’t live with. The BAU was running them all ragged, one day at a time.
Elle looked up at Kit, nodded at her. “Alright, Lep. You’re last, go ahead.”
“Hotch and Gideon didn’t go,” Kit said, nodding towards the men on the other side of the jet. They both insisted they were not playing, but they’d still been asked every question, and both had answered with little to no interest.
“Haley,” Hotch said easily, without even looking up from his file.
“David Rossi,” Gideon said, barely glancing up from his book before looking back down.
The group of five around the table were silent for a second before Elle nodded, looking over at Kit and saying, “Okay, there you go. Haley and David Rossi.”
“Who’s yours?” JJ said, giving Kit a small, encouraging smile.
Kit took a breath and tilted her head. “Um. Oh, okay. Monty, easily.”
“Monty isn’t your best friend,” Morgan said, and Kit raised an eyebrow at him.
“Oh, no?”
“No, she’s your identical twin sister who you work and live with. That’s not friendship, that’s codependency.”
Kit raised an eyebrow at him, eyes going hard and defensive. She knew he was joking, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “Okay, so, Ari then?”
“Don’t you all live together?” Reid asked, tactlessly. “That would make Morgan’s reasoning sound for both your… twins? Siblings? How are you supposed to phrase that?”
“Cúpla,” she said easily, “Ari and I aren’t identical twins.”
“You’re in a set of triplets,” Elle pointed out. “I think that counts.”
These fucking people.
“Okay, well, then…” Kit trailed off, ears burning as she realized she didn’t really have any friends that weren’t Ari or Monty. They spent their time together on Sundays, the only day they all had off, and Kit saw Ari in the evenings and Monty leaving work. All her other time was spent in the clinic, or at the BAU.
“Then?” JJ prompted, and Kit sighed and looked away from their group. “Then I guess I don’t have one.”
“You don’t talk with any of the girls from the clinic?” Morgan asked, and Kit shook her head.
Elle prompted further, “What about your academy roommate?”
“Monty,” she said quietly, one hand coming up to tug at her left braid while the other slid along the leg of her pants.
Morgan spoke again, gently throwing an elbow in her direction, “No secret boyfriend?”
She knew he was teasing. He was trying to bring the mood back up; the mood she’d clearly just crushed by admitting that she didn’t have any friends at all. “I don’t have time for a secret boyfriend, even if I wanted one,” Kit said, rolling her eyes and swatting at his shoulder.
Reid looked confused at the other end of the table, next to Elle. “We have a two day weekend every week. Surely if you wanted to go out, you could go on either Friday or Saturday night without seeing sleep repercussions?”
Kit shook her head. This conversation was very quickly going from sort of sad to super depressing. “I work Saturdays in the clinic. My only day off during the week is Sunday, and if we’re on a case, I don’t get a day off at all.”
“You work six days a week?” JJ asked, clearly unaware. Kit didn’t care, she’d never told them, and hadn’t anticipated it coming up. She didn’t really care. Why would she?
She was sort of glad the conversation was scooting away from her lack of any conceivable friendship.
“Yeah,” she said with a shrug, “I have to keep my hours balanced. Three days with you, three days with them.”
“That doesn’t leave you a lot of personal time for friends.” Elle crossed one leg over the other, actively wrangling the conversation back into the super depressing. Kit wished she would have left it alone, but she knew it was strange. What twenty five year old had literally no friends?
They were quiet again for far too long. Kit refused to look up, or around, or at anything at all. She focused on the dryness of her hands, constantly chapped and raw from washing and washing in the clinic. She was startled when, out of anyone sitting there, Reid spoke up.
“You talk to us,” he said simply.
The other three nodded immediately, words tumbling and spilling as if they’d all been wanting to speak up, and now the floodgate was open for them.
“You came to my apartment when I got strep,” JJ said. “I wouldn’t have called anyone but a friend for that.”
“And I’ve never had a better training partner,” Morgan said, “No one else is competitive enough.”
“I didn’t think anyone else would share the same taste in music as I do, but then we caught you at the bar, and I knew you were cool before, but that really sold it.”
Kit looked around at them before feeling a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth. She knew what they were doing, of course, but the feelings coming off of them were genuine. They meant what they said, and she was incredibly grateful. She didn’t let the tears that threatened to prick get any further than a threat, but she had to physically swallow and clear her throat before she could speak.
“Thank you. All of you. I guess… I guess you guys are my best friends.”
Morgan scoffed, giving her a smirk and nodding towards Reid. “You may have to fight Pretty Ricky over there for it,” he said, watching for Reid’s reaction, which was exactly what they all expected it to be.
“‘Best’' is a qualifier of relative quality, which means that its place as a superlative adjective makes it of a singular quantity. Superlative adjectives are used to show-”
“You can have more than one best friend, Spence,” JJ said, cutting him off and nodding toward Kit, who’s cheeks lit a similar color to her hair. He seemed to realize and read the situation, though he’d already shoved his foot in his mouth, and instead of continuing just said quietly, “Right. Yeah, obviously. The world isn’t a thesis.”
“The world isn’t a thesis,” Elle echoed before nudging the deck of questions towards him. “Your turn, Doctor Reid.”
He fidgeted with his fingers before pulling the top card from the deck, reading aloud, “What is your favorite color?”
“No!”
“Throw the whole game away!”
“It’s not a game! We’ve established that this does not meet the qualities that allow something to be a game!”
“Shut up, Reid!”
Kit watched as the jet settled, all of the attention being pulled away from her as a warm presence settled in her chest.
Yes. These people, who drive me crazy, and have no concept of personal care of any kind. These people are my best friends.
#Brenna writes things#or at least she tries#October Writing Prompts#OWP#day 12#My BFF#Criminal Minds#SCRC#Kit needs some friends
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An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Terrific Love Interests [1/5]
+Why both romantic routes are not only amazing but better than other games I’ve personally played in the past.
+Why some people are idiots and get off on picking stupid fights.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Grab a beverage and sit down, I’m about to weave you a tale.
A long time ago, I made an Instagram account. I did this so that I could have another place to intake TWDG content. I got to see lots of artwork and watch fun little videos and edits and it was all great.
For about an hour before everything went downhill far too quickly. You see, I rarely go on that Instagram account anymore because no matter what tag I look under to search for content, a good 60% of it is all the same: hateful.
Hateful towards Violet, hateful towards Louis, hateful towards each other. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve scrolled past with the title “TELLTALE AND SKYBOUND HATE LOUIS AND HERE’S WHY” or “VIOLET IS THE WORST AND HERE’S WHY” or “WHY VIOLENTINE IS CANON AND CLOUIS IS NOT” or any other nonsense along those lines.
After that, I quit going on Instagram.
Until one day, I thought to myself, “Well, maybe now that the game is over, those dingdongs have moved on and I can look at the twdg tag in peace!”
And to be fair, it wasn’t as bad, but it’s still actively being made. Along with other questionable content that I think has taken hours off of my life just by witnessing it but we’re not going to dive down that rabbit hole right now.
Anyway, after glancing over another “SKYBOUND HATES LOUIS” post, I couldn’t help but think, “Y’know, either y’all don’t realize how lucky we were to have gotten a bisexual lead with not only one great romantic option but two amazing romantic options, or y’all are just a bunch of idiots who get off on fighting. Maybe even both. I mean, sure, they’re not equal in every single way possible and there are a lot of things that I wanted, but it’s a helluva lot better than what we’ve been given in the past with other games.”
The thoughts kept building up as I recalled previous games that had optional romances that left me underwhelmed or downright disappointed. Neither Louis nor Violet have perfect romance routes, each with things that we wish we had more of, but we’re lucky to have gotten what we did, and because I haven’t written a post like this in a long time, allow me to break it down for you.
Keep in mind that this is just my opinion and how I see things. I’m sure there’ll be a point where you say “Well, CJ, I beg to differ on this particular topic and/or idea-” and that’s fine.
Hell, maybe you have a game with a disappointing romance that I didn’t list here because I’ve yet to play it. That’s great, feel free to share! This post is for fun but also because I need to vent some frustrations towards a fight that is 100% unnecessary but continues regardless.
Beware of spoilers for the following games:
Life is Strange Persona 4 TWDG: A New Frontier King’s Quest [2015] Catherine
[both Louis and Violet are great!]
all y’all on instagram are just idiots
Now, in case you couldn’t tell from my blog, I love Louis. When it comes to my personal canon of TWDG, clouis is my endgame. Louis is my favorite non-playable character of the entire series, if not my absolute favorite. I love him.
You know who else I love? Violet. She’s great. I found myself relating a lot to her character and I wanted to see her make it to the end okay. I was pissed when she was pissed at me, but in the end, I was more pissed about her treatment regarding her blinding and how easily she and Clementine made up.
But you know what I really, truly love? A great bisexual protagonist: Clementine.
Clementine’s the lucky one here in that she has the choice between sweet, charming, loyal Louis and witty, strong yet sensitive Violet. This is the definition of “bi panic” because really
I do want to add that I haven’t played Violet’s romance route, but I don’t need to to know that it’s great. There are a thousand and one blogs who can explain her romance with Clementine 100% better than I can, but I will try my best within this section and my conclusion since I’m mostly talking about them together.
Now, why is it great that Clementine is a bisexual protagonist? Well, there’s obviously the representation which was more than welcome in this case, regardless of what some idiots will say.
Not only that, but it allows the player to romance a boy or a girl, which again, is obvious but I have some points about this that I’ll bring up when I talk about other games, like Life is Strange and Persona 4, so put a little pin in that for later.
Both Louis and Violet are presented as loving partners for Clementine, and they’re both people who Clementine cares about. Based on your choices and how you play her, you can be as affectionate with them as possible and help them better themselves over the course of the game.
Louis and Violet have different but interesting backstories, they have different ways of communicating their feelings, they both deal with their own struggles [internal and external] and open up to Clementine in different ways.
Yes, there was plenty to be desired within the routes. We’ve talked about that before so I won’t go into great detail about it, but in conclusion: Louis and Violet are great.
So why do people argue about it?
My scientific conclusion states that they’re idiots who get off on picking fights over the internet.
And that they don’t know how good they got it because we could’ve gotten so, SO much worse.
At this point, I will be comparing the Louis/Violet romance to romances found in other games I’ve played, starting with a game that I liked very much, but was ultimately disappointed with, well.... everything.
[life is strange and imbalance]
every choice matters except not really until we hit episode 5: bae vs bay
Life is Strange is an episodic game that released in 2015. It follows Max Caulfied, a young, aspiring photographer attending Blackwell Academy who learns that she can rewind time after witnessing a girl being shot in the bathrooms.
I was pretty into this when it first came out. I played each episode as it came out, I read stuff on Tumblr and watched every theory video on youtube I could find. It had a likable and relatable protagonist, a pretty cool missing person mystery, cringy dialogue, and cool rewind powers.
Let’s talk about Max, our playable protagonist.
She’s shy, awkward, nosy, and she wants to be a photographer but lacks confidence when it comes to putting herself out there despite having the talent. She goes through a lot of grief and betrayal through the game, but ultimately learns more about herself and how her choices affect everything around her.
She’s also bisexual, and like Clementine, she can romance a girl or a boy.
Love Interest #1: Chloe Price
Chloe is the deuteragonist [secondary main character] of Life is Strange, and Max’s old childhood friend. She’s also the girl who gets shot in the bathroom, and the girl whose [girl]friend, Rachel Amber, is missing.
Over the course of the story, Max and Chloe reconnect and grow closer as they try and find Rachel while also trying to figure out Max’s powers. We spend most of our time with Chloe, going to diner’s and junkyards and what have you.
We learn a lot about Chloe’s home life: Her father died in a car accident, her mom owns a diner and remarried an asshole who smacks Chloe around when she smokes weed in her bedroom. We see Chloe as her most vulnerable, we save her life numerous times because she just won’t stop getting herself killed.
Hell, we do this to the point where it begins to physically hurt Max and makes her bleed. We do this because Max claims that Chloe is the most important person to her.
The most important person in Max’s life.
Now, spoilers for the ending, but it turns out that the storm that’s come to destroy Arcadia Bay is all because of Chloe. So, the final choice Max has to make is to either go back and let Chloe die in the bathroom or let the storm destroy a town and kill nearly everyone there.
Either you sacrifice an entire town of people or you sacrifice Chloe.
Bay vs Bae, as the kids dubbed it.
Romancing Chloe isn’t exactly full of fluffy smooches, though. You’d think it would, but considering that the girl we’re looking for is Chloe’s girlfriend who Chloe loved very much, it’s mostly Max saying how much she cares about Chloe and then Chloe turning around like “Boy, I wish Rachel was here...”
Then we find out Rachel’s fucking dead and that’s a real romance killer if I’ve ever seen one.
Hell, the only time you get a real smooch from her [that we see] is if you sacrifice her! If you sacrifice the town, the game’s like “Really? Okay....” and you watch Max and Chloe drive through a wrecked town and into the sunset together.
There’s a lot of different factors to it that you don’t get unless you’ve played it, but for me, it was disappointing. I didn’t even romance Chloe the first time because I didn’t even really like her, but when I did romance her, I felt cheated!
I only get to be happy with my girlfriend if I can live with the blood of an entire town on my hands?? And odds are, fate’s gonna keep trying to kill her, so I also have to hurt myself and numerous timelines to keep her alive until I eventually explode????
Man, I don’t know if I want to commit to that, y’know? Thankfully, there’s another romance option I can look at, right?
....Right?
Continued in Part 2
#twdg louis#louis twdg#twdg violet#violet twdg#twdg clouis#clouis#twdg violentine#violentine#twdg clementine#clementine twdg
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❛ ✶ ( ALEX WOLFF , CIS MALE , HE/HIM ) — did you see LUCAS BOYD walking around campus earlier ? i hear a lot of people talking about the NINETEEN year old SOPHOMORE . from what i know , they are studying COMPUTER SCIENCE and are a part of PHI KAPPA DELTA . they come across as + KIND-HEARTED but also - TIMID , which makes since because on their instagram ( LUCAS.V.BOYD ) it says they are a VIRGO . when i see them , i think of A DESK COVERED IN EMPTY COFFEE MUGS, DANDELIONS GROWING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK, THE UGLIEST GODDAMN SWEATERS YOU’VE EVER SEEN. the most interesting thing i’ve heard about them though , is the fact that REDACTED , but don’t tell anyone i told you that . ooc info . ally . 22 . est . she/her .
hello hello hellooooooooooooooo. i’m ally, i’m from canada, and i’m addicted to tik tok i’m so excited to be here!! this has been an opportunity to bring back an old and beloved muse of mine, one lucas victor boyd ! if you like this, i’ll hyu on discord, or you can hmu at known simp harry hook#3923.
statistics.
full name. lucas victor boyd nickname(s). just lucas. not luke or lou, just lucas. occupation. undergraduate student, beaumont campus tech support age. nineteen. date of birth. september 2nd, 2001. nationality. american. ethnicity. ashkenazi jewish, scottish. orientation. gay. gender & pronouns. cis male; he/him/his.
height. 6′0”. weight. 145 lbs. eye color. hazel. hair color + style. dark brown; usually messy and curly. he gets it cut short at the beginning of the semester and then by the end its a mop. really doesn’t style it. dominant hand. right-handed. distinguishing features. distinctive nose, lanky figure, messy curls, undereye bags, that cute li’l mole.
background. (tw alcoholism, death of a parent)
SO. lucas was born in portland, maine, to a pretty lower middle class family. his father left when he was two years old, and he was largely raised by his mother, florence weber.
florence was a hardworking and loving mother, but she was also quite depressed her entire life. she was a recovered alcoholic when she met judas, lucas’s father, but once he left, she slowly slid back into her old habits.
by the time lucas was eight, he was having to start to pick up some household responsibilities. cooking, cleaning, packing his own lunch. waking his mom up in time for her shifts at target.
by the time he was in middle school, he’d learned how to forge her signature on cheques, he’d applied for unemployment for her after she got fired, and he was taking any odd job to make money.
school was his favorite distraction; he was always a brilliant kid, and if it weren’t for the fact he was already a terribly shy and awkward kid, he could have skipped a couple grades. he threw himself into schoolwork to avoid everything; his mother’s worsening condition, his crippling loneliness, his fear that he might be as gay as every one of his bullies insisted.
this was, also, around when he picked up his most lucrative but troublesome odd job; hacking into the school board network to get test answers. he could get fifty dollars per person per test, and he was able to buy groceries besides beans and rice, was able to buy new clothes for himself and his mom. he felt awful about it every day, but... he still did it.
(death tw) at sixteen, when he found his mom motionless and cold on the floor of their apartment, he buried himself in his work, too. he couldn’t help but feel guilty, though; it was his work, his taking care of everything that had allowed his mom to keep her addiction up for this long.
so, yeah. there’s a very good reason why he doesn’t go back to portland anymore. he spent last summer in cambridge. well, that and his Secret.
since the beginning of his freshman year, lucas has had something of a glow-up. he signed up for the school’s counselling services before he even got to campus, and he’s been making great strides.
additionally, he pledged phi kappa delta, which... he never saw himself pledging a frat, ever in his life. but all the guys there were so... cool. and so supportive and nice and... and they’re like the brothers lucas never had. having that little family has helped him gain that much more confidence in himself.
personality.
if there was an onion headline for lucas’s life it would be Nervous Wreck Slowly Becomes a Functional Human Being.
very virgo, very type a. but also a pisces moon cancer rising. so he needs everything to be in alphabetical order or he’ll cry.
ever since he’s started college, he’s transitioned from being As Plain As Possible to being more outwardly soft as he’s gained confidence in himself. he wears the dorky sweaters and neat socks he likes, he has a small collection of plants on his desk, he knits scarves for his friends. big hufflepuff energy. again, this comfort largely comes from the acceptance he’s found at phi kappa delta.
slowly getting over his Big Anxiety. slowly learning how to talk to people. still awkward at parties. still has panic attacks every day during exam season. but he adores his therapist and takes his zoloft every day and he’s… he’s doing alright.
there are things he is sure of. his intelligence, his diligence, his ability to get shit done. he’s recently mastered asking fellow customers to please be kind to servicepeople.
still he’s that guy who doesn’t want to tell the waiter they got his order wrong.
he’s literally highkey fucking brilliant. he’s literally at the top of his class in one of the most difficult programs at one of the most difficult universities in the country.
a chronic people pleaser up until the point that it breaks his moral code. like if you want him to help you cheat or help you toy with someone he will put his foot down. he’ll do it very softly, but he won’t budge.
(though he is known to do mathematics and computer science homework for his friends when they’re overtired. he’s always the one to offer in that case, though.)
the rare gay who is extremely capable in math. legit he gets so excited about math it’s actually really cute.
theres a part of him that still believes in magic, to some capacity. he still wishes on shooting stars and pennies on the ground and dandelions.
his greatest strength and fatal flaw is that he sees the best in people. even if he knows you tried to hurt him, he will give chance after chance.
(but he works in tech support rn So. he’s slowly losing his belief in humanity.)
in conclusion, here are some tik toks that describe lucas
him in kindergarten
he can’t write i’m so sorry
just.... the Vibes
wanted connections.
skinny love. lucas is extremely shy, especially in romantic situations. he cannot flirt to save his goddamned life. he also probably thinks this person is out of his league. (honestly i want a romantic plot for him so bad gimME)
close friends. GIVE HIM FRIENDS FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD he’s such a good friend he just wants to love people.
lawyer for real life. based off this john mulaney bit. someone who reminds lucas that someone is mistreating him.
lab partner. idk man i just like that easy camaraderie. or maybe they make lucas do all the work in which case he will eventually snap.
tutoree. someone that lucas basically helps out of the good of his heart.
bad influence. someone get this boy TURNT
manipulator. lucas does have a bit of a backbone, but he is incredibly naive and very easily manipulated. basically he will do your stats assignments for you if you say he’s your friend.
academic rival. lucas is not typically an antagonistic person, but having someone be so obviously smarter than him grinds his gears a little bit. his mood when talking to this person is :))))))))))
literally anything pls i’m desperate and he’s baby
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How would the La squadra gang react to their catching their S/o cheating?
Ha. Now this I like.
General content warning, because some of these can get pretty grim. Not all are yandere-based, but some are. Avoid Risotto’s and Sorbet/Gelato’s if you’re squeamish.
La Squadra Reactions to Catching Their S/O Cheating
Risotto Nero
Risotto is not prone to forgiveness, and by cheating on him you’re going to find out about this first hand.
If Risotto happens to catch you kissing someone, expect to be tasting blood. The moment you break away from your partner, you’ll get an up close view of them suddenly coughing up hundreds of razors, their blood splattering all over you. This will probably be when you realise you’ve fucked up big time.
Any pleading from your side would be completely ignored by Risotto. He’d use Metallica to drain your partner of all the iron in their blood, watching them slowly expire without a word. Then he’d turn to you, and the cold fury in his eyes would tell you this was just the beginning.
After he drags you back to his place, your initial punishment would be similar to that of your partner’s. You’d be forced to spit up razors, tear needles right out of your veins; Risotto would treat the whole thing as an interrogation, questioning what you did and why you did it. With your mouth full of metal, it’s not like you can reply, but it doesn’t matter. Risotto doesn’t actually want to hear your excuses, he just wants to hurt you as much as you hurt him for what you did.
When he’s done torturing you, don’t expect to be leaving any time soon. Risotto will keep you on low iron levels for weeks, unable to move or do much of anything without his help. All the while he’d remind you this is the fate you get for breaking his trust. Who knows if he’d ever let you get back to a normal life again.
Prosciutto
Prosciutto, perhaps unexpectedly, is going to be furious. Still waters run deep, and Prosciutto is actually quite sensitive, so you cheating on him would genuinely upset him. But he doesn’t want anyone to realise that, so he’s going to mask any hurt with feelings that are easier to deal with, like anger.
Maybe you won’t even realise Prosciutto’s caught you until your partner suddenly turns old and wrinkly before your very eyes. Too angry to draw it out, Prosciutto’s going to finish them off right then and there.
He’ll try to resist the urge to get violent with you, too, though it won’t be easy for him. He might still end up grabbing you and shaking you around, demanding answers.
He won’t believe any excuses or reassurances that you still love him. Depending on your relationship up until that point, he might just walk away from you and you’ll never see him again. He’s not the type to bother with revenge over something like this. He simply wouldn’t invest any more time in someone who’d do this to him.
Alternatively, if we’re going with a Yan!Pro route, he might choose to keep you around, but he’ll make sure you’re kept on a tight leash from now on. Literally. Embarrassed? Too bad, you shouldn’t have pissed him off.
Prosciutto’s a fixer by nature, so if he does stay with you, expect regular lessons and reminders from him on how you should act. He’ll iron those disloyal tendencies right out of you, however long it takes.
I don’t think he’d bother aging you to weaken you, because he’s confident in his ability to overpower you any time he needs to. He’d only do it if you resisted a lot. Otherwise, prepare yourself for having to follow him around like a collared puppy from now on.
Pesci
Pesci would be heartbroken. He might even tear up at the sight of you with someone else. However, he’d get a hold of himself quickly, and resolve to fix the situation.
Not prone to immediate violence, Pesci might choose intimidation instead. He’ll hover over you and glare menacingly at your partner, threatening them to piss off and never touch you again, or else. If your partner has half a brain cell, they’ll be wise to heed his words. Pesci might need a lot of shoving to actually get violent, but this time he means what he says, and your partner will pay a high price if they ever dare show their face around you again.
Once you two are alone, Pesci will shift between high upset and indecision on what he should do with you. His self-confidence is already lacking, and now you’ve gone and given him further reason to doubt himself. He thought you two had something special!
He won’t fully believe you if you try to reassure him of your feelings for him, but he’s willing to forgive you just this once. You’ll have to reassure him even more though that you still love him for him to ever believe you again.
From now on, Pesci is going to stick as close to you as possible. If at any point you two have to separate, he’ll try to keep you within Beach Boy’s range, and use it to tell him exactly where you are and how many people you’re with. If he’s suspicious about anything, expect to be forcibly dragged back right to his side.
Illuso
The thing is, you wouldn’t have been able to keep a second relationship going under Illuso’s radar for any length of time. Spying is one of his specialities, and hell knows he’s going to be keeping tabs on his darling. The moment you try to step out of line, he’s going to know about it, and he will not be happy.
He’ll wait until you happen to glance away from your partner, and then drag them into the mirror world. Instead of questioning you like some of the others, he might try to question your partner instead, and then mock them for thinking they’d be allowed to lay a hand on his love. When he’s done gloating about how you belong to him, he’s going to finally finish them off, and then go after you.
You two are definitely going to have a cat fight about this. Illuso is prideful, and he’s going to be really annoyed with you for even thinking of choosing someone else over him. It’s honestly in your favour that long-term cheating was never possible, because he’d react much worse to something like that.
Illuso would probably decide it’s not worth risking you getting any ideas again, so he’ll just throw you into the mirror world and he won’t let you back out for a long time. Have fun getting used to your new life in the desolate realm of reflections! But don’t worry, Illuso won’t let you get too lonely, he’ll pay you plenty of visits. That counts for something, right?
As a side note, he’s absolutely petty enough to want to cheat on you right back. He wouldn’t take it too far, since you’re still his priority, but he might openly flirt with other people or touch them a little too personally, just to give you a taste of your own medicine.
Formaggio
His initial reaction would be shock. He just wouldn’t be able to believe that his darling would ever actually cheat on him. It’d probably take him the longest to recover out of everyone else.
When he does, he’ll just charge your partner. No Stands, nothing fancy, nothing calculated. He’ll just want to pummel the life out of them with his own two fists.
He’ll let you drag him off them eventually, but only after he’s sufficiently satisfied with the amount of blood seeping from their now unmoving form.
If this happened anywhere in public, Formaggio doesn’t give a shit. He’ll make a scene. He’ll yell questions at you along the lines of, “Babe, what the fuck?!”
He’ll stop after you try to shush him or stutter out some excuse, but he won’t really listen. He’ll grab your hand and take you back to the headquarters, muttering swear words under his nose the entire time.
Once home, he’ll yell at you again, pacing around the room and trying to come to terms with what you did. When he finally does accept it though, he’s surprisingly willing to forgive you. Mainly because regardless of what you might say, he’s convinced you cheating was just a one time thing, borderline an accident really, there’s no way you’ve actually lost interest in him.
Don’t expect him to let you off the hook that easily though. To be safe, he’ll make you tiny and maybe keep you in a glass jar as his literal pet for a good while. And he won’t release you until you can really convince him you won’t pull that shit again.
Ghiaccio
You might think he’d blow up once he sees you with someone else, but that is not the case. He openly approaches you two, stands next to you, puts his hand on your partner’s shoulder, and quietly tells them to fuck off. Then he instantly freezes them to death.
It’s not that he’s not angry with you, he’s just so angry it goes beyond his usual fits. He’ll take you back to the headquarters without a word, confronting you once the two of you are alone. You’ll be surprised to hear how level his voice is when he asks you why you cheated on him.
Whatever you say might finally set him off, especially if you stumble over your words or say something that would normally annoy him.
He might scream and thrash the place, attacking whatever is in sight. He won’t lay a finger on you, though.
He might actually cry from the sheer mix of anger and hurt. If you try to comfort him, he’ll accept it, even letting you hug him if you choose to. However, he’ll hold onto you painfully tight, and will swear he’ll freeze your feet to the ground and never let you leave if you ever break his trust again.
Needless to say, it’s going to be very difficult to earn his forgiveness. Any time you try to do something on your own, it’ll be like a trigger going off, and he’ll furiously recall what you did the last time he let you out of his sight. He won’t be making that mistake a second time.
Melone
Melone’s going to be sorely disappointed, but he’s going to put this opportunity to use.
He’ll slink up to the two of you and wrap his arms around you and your partner, asking sleazily if he can join in. He’ll stick his tongue out and generally try to scare your partner off by acting overly creepy and sexual. If they question who the hell he is, he’ll say, “I’m their boyfriend, obviously! Do you want a piece of me, too? (wink face)”.
Hopefully your partner is going to be sufficiently weirded out and leave, but if not, Melone’s going to go as far as he needs to in order to get rid of them. If things have to escalate to actual threats and violence, so be it.
As soon as your partner’s gone, Melone drops the act and gives you a look. Really? You’re so unsatisfied you’d actually resort to cheating on him? Come on. He adores you! He tries so hard for you! This won’t do.
Listen. You’re going to get locked in his fucking basement dungeon and you know it. He’s probably pretty willing to forgive you, but you still have to make it up to him somehow. Keeping you locked up for a while is just a matter of principle.
Afterwards, he might even be open to the idea of looking for a ‘perfect match’ to join the both of you, someone who can satisfy whatever you feel he’s lacking in the relationship. Melone would probably like to learn from them how to keep you happy, and might eventually dispose of them once he’s certain he’s got you fully worked out. Congratulations, you basically got your boyfriend to level up for you by cheating on him. Happy end?
Sorbet & Gelato
Maybe you misunderstood. Just because you guys are in a poly relationship doesn’t mean you can just go around sleeping with whoever you want! You need to talk about these things, dear.
Honestly, this could go one of two ways. If the three of you were simply dating, I don’t think either of them would be especially hurt. Their primary concern will always be each other, and while they like you enough to keep around, they won’t really lose their minds over something like this.
Rather than jealousy, what would bother them (and especially Sorbet) would be the lack of respect. You really think you can just go around doing something like that and get away with it? Who do you think you are? Who do you think they are, to presume they’d let something like this slide?
You’ll be punished, but they might turn this into something fun for them. The punishment probably won’t be too extreme, just something to teach you a lesson, and Sorbet will take the reins on carrying it out. Gelato might enjoy sitting back and watching the show, and maybe, if you prove you’re very sorry for what you did, he might even comfort you afterwards.
Now, if we’re talking about a context where both of them are yandere for you, things might take on a different tone. It’s not just about the disrespect any more. This time it’s personal.
Both of them will participate in punishing you, and it will not be funny or sexy or cute. The three of you are going to disappear for days while everyone wonders where the hell you are.
You might just end up with a broken sanity after they’re through with you, but you’ll definitely have a broken body and especially a pair of broken legs to deal with. The bad kind of broken too, bones shattered and fractures deep. You won’t be going anywhere any time soon.
Needless to say, in either case, whoever you cheated with is going to disappear. It’s in your best interest not to ask what happened to them.
#jjba headcanons#yandere jjba#risotto nero#prosciutto#pesci#illuso#formaggio#melone#ghiaccio#sorbet#gelato#GEEZ that's a lot of tags i'm sorry lmao#anyway this was interesting bc there are definitely some squadra members i care more for than others#so coming up with these and keeping them ic was a fun challenge!#hope i did ok but apologies if not! lmao#la squadra
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aight quick descriptions of the guzboys lets GO
Golisopod is obviously the Pokèmon closest to Guzma, due him being his first teammate after the whole “hey dad im gonna drop the trial” bullshit. Guz protected him when he was a tiny Wimpod, and now he personally protects his boy from any bullshit. Ironically enough, he acts as some sort of protective dad towards his Trainer. They care for eachother more than they care for literally anyone else.
He’s usually used as his first Pokèmon during battles to make a good First Impression badum, tss, just to be pulled out at last if necessary once again to deliver the final blow.
Vikavolt might look big and angry, but the truth being he’s the most Team Skull(tm) Pokèmon around. He often uses his Electric attacks to power up TVs and radios, often all together in the same time to make a fucking mess. Absolute party animal who can’t be stopped.
In battle he’s usually the one who literally can’t stop. He vibrates 24/7. Not quite the strongest one in the team, but it’s fun to see his enemies completely lose it while this guy zaps every-fucking-where in the battlefield.
Pinsir is the team’s tank. A small ball of anger and violence ready to beat up everyone and everything, and often used as sparring partner from Guzma - both for himself and his own Team - whenever he’s up for a harder or different type of training. Tends to not trust anyone but his boy, to the point that a lot of Team Skull members risked to lose fingers or straight up limbs before Guzma could stop him. So far is good tho. Nobody in the squad lost anything.
..in battle however there’s nobody stopping him. If Guzma really wants to hurt someone, he pulls out his angry boy.
Masquerain is a literal fucking yandere fellas. Cute and small and incredibly cuddly towards anyone just to backstab anyone for the lols. A tiny little bitch who still acts delightful enough to make anyone instantly forgive him.
His fun backstabbing adventures are used in battle too, of course. Whenever Guz feels like cheating a bit, the child is sent out.
Scizor is really the ultimate cool boy. Silent and determined, the only mature Pokèmon in the Team alongside Golisopod, except he’s more of a cool bodyguard rather than a dad. He’s usually used to guard Guzma’s room, or to keep an eye to the youngest Skulls during certain missions. Just in case. He looks like he’s just sighing 24/7. An actual old man.
He’s used in battles only when/if Guzma really has to follow the rules, such as in the Battle Tree. He’s the only one who can actually force the other Pokèmon of the team to actually be good boys for a change.
Ariados is the latest addition of the Team, and after a very short while proved himself to not be exactly suited for battle. He was stolen from a particularly annoying trainer that was afterwards beaten up, and after a very few battles he ended up seeming uncomfortable in the battlefield. He’s way closer to be a company Pokèmon, quite cuddly and sometimes clingy. Is terrified of being left behind or being yelled at once again, so Guzma brings him around in a Pokèball even if he doesn’t want to use him to fight.
Wimpod is an absolute baby. He’s not allowed to go around alone, and his fear of closed spaces forged Guzma not to put him in Pokèball, but he often walks around his Trainer’s room. Incredibly shy and nervous 24/7, he kinda acts like Golisopod tiny baby. If he really has to go around the Shady House, he usually does it by climbing over his trainer’s shoulder. It’s kinda cute, actually.
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Ever since the 1st book Sansa was faced with the true/fake knight dichotomy: the KG beat her and her Knight of Flowers wasn't that honorable either (his mare trick). For some people that is one of the reasons why Harry is a good partner for her - he's honest and dislikes false courtesy (much like Sandor). But I fail to see how being honest about your dishonor makes you the TRUE KNIGHT. To me he's just as fake as all the others unlike Sandor who didn't give any vows to break. What's your opinion?
I guess we’re talking about a “good partner” in theory because I really don’t think the signs look all that great for Harry living much longer. If he shows up at the tourney joust on a red stallion, stick a fork in him. He’s done. Besides that, should we honestly expect a marriage option arranged by Littlefinger to turn out good for Sansa? When has any of his arrangements for her worked out in her favor?
Just so we’re being fair and this isn’t just about rooting for my OTP above other options, Sandor is also bluntly honest about some of the horrible things he has done too. Not taking vows is him making a protest statement against the institution, but he can sometimes use it to deflect attention from his own bad acts onto the hypocrisy of knights instead. It’s Sandor’s moments of choosing to be protective and helpful that make us see his potential for true knighthood. Not his cynical stance on the subject. He’s full of shit too sometimes. But as I’ve said before, we have very good reason to believe that Sandor is continuing his trajectory toward true knighthood at his death scene and on the QI serving under a former knight.
Not being a liar is good, but it’s a pretty low bar to pass. No one deserves a medal for this. Harry needs to show us way more than that if I were to believe he could actually be a “good partner.” I wouldn’t say he dislikes false courtesy. He’s thoroughly of the Vale and the conservative culture is all about appearances, pedigree, adherence to tradition and chivalric culture, which includes courtesy. He’s just plain rude is all. It’s not on principle against courtesy. He dislikes low born bastards who have the audacity to consider themselves worthy to seek the next Lord of the Eyrie for a marriage prospect. And he resents that circumstances have forced him to interact with Littlefinger’s bastard in particular. Obviously he doesn’t mind consorting with low born girls and may fancy himself in love with them at times, but there’s no indication he plans on marrying one of them. He’s a Hardyng, a minor landed knight house, that through dumb luck finds himself Robert’s heir. He wants a good marriage to a highborn and trueborn to shore up his pedigree. That’s why his shield is quartered with the Waynwood and Arryn sigils too. To emphasize his more prestigious relations. If he knew she was Sansa Stark he’d be treating her very differently, which was Sansa’s realization about her Loras fantasy. No Tyrell would ever love a bastard girl, no matter what. It always comes down to her claim, not her.
I don’t hate Harry and I don’t think he is the worst person ever, just as Loras isn’t a terrible person for cheating at a tournament. We’ve seen what truly terrible looks like. You can’t really get on Loras for cheating at a stupid joust and think that highly about Harry “earning” his knighthood in a tournament rigged for him to win. TWOW tourney is probably just as rigged. If Harry doesn’t realize the win was handed to him and that he’s being wooed for influence by Yohn and LF because he’s the next high lord, then he’s monumentally stupid. Accepting the knighthood when you know you didn’t actually do anything to earn it is just as false and shitty as what Loras did.
Hey, at least you can say Loras knew how to be faithful to his partner even after Renly died. I don’t think Harry would be abusive to Sansa, but he’s going to litter the Vale and probably the North too with his bastards and used and discarded women. It wasn’t “different with Saffron.” After Harry dumps Cissy for gaining pregnancy weight, Lady Anya arranged for her to be married off to one of her household guards. How did Cissy feel about that?�� Probably not good, but the dishonorable behavior got tidied up for Harry, didn’t it? Saffron is going to be left pregnant and dishonored too, after all of the words of love he probably gave her. If you look at the entire Alayne sample chapter there’s a running theme of used, dishonored, and discarded women beginning, middle and end.
Mya Stone arrives in Robert’s bedchamber with hay in her hair and a “scowl” on her face. Sansa knows Mychel Redfort is around. Poor Mya loved Mychel, thought he loved her, and had dreams of marrying him. She’s broken hearted and still longing to be with him, but the tumble in the hay makes her feel worse, not closer to him. She’s left with nothing but shattered dreams, a soiled reputation, and reminded that tumbles in the hay are all a bastard girl is good for.
Alayne sharply corrects Robert when he insists he can keep Alayne as his mistress if he can’t marry her. He’s still a little boy and only partially understands what he’s saying, but she’s giving him good parenting here. Just because he’s Lord of the Eyrie doesn’t mean he can treat women any type of way, even low born bastards. He’s not entitled to Alayne just because he wants her or has feelings for her.
Myranda Royce is slut shamed by her own father because her late husband died of an apparent heart attack while having sex with her, some of which she has internalized. I don’t think it was the dowry that Lady Waynwood found that unsuitable, because even cadet Royces are an ancient house that also have Stark blood. There’s more than dowry to think about. Lady Anya isn’t going to make the mistake of betrothing Harry to a girl he would find unpleasant (dowry or not) and sour a relationship with her future high lord. IMO, Harry might have rejected the match between them as well because she’s a heavier girl when you consider his intense fatphobia. Myranda is also not a traditional Vale lady either. She’s very forward, highly intelligent, sexy, funny, and self-confident as well as competent at running a household. She would be a joy of a wife for many a man and she’s rejected for the most shallow and judgemental reasons. It’s hurtful because she knows her own worth.
Then we end on learning about Harry’s character, Cissy’s fate, and what will probably happen to Saffron too. God forbid Sansa have his child and put on a few pounds. That doesn’t scream “good partner” to me. So even if he keeps his mistresses and bastards out of sight, he can still be shallow AF about a woman’s looks, which inevitably change over time. He already doesn’t think she’s that attractive anyway. Also if he finds out she’s really Sansa Stark and he suddenly starts treating her much better, that doesn’t say anything good either. This match is theoretically all good for Harry, but I fail to see how it works out that great for Sansa.
The chapter can’t be structured this way for nothing. George is giving us much to contemplate on about the treatment of women in relationships. How the stakes are so much higher for them in giving their hearts, bodies, hopes, and dreams to a guy that would be careless with them. Most of it happens before she even talks to Harry and gets to know him better. And Sansa is being faced with putting her trust and hope to go home on him and having to give up her body, her dreams, and allow him power over her in return for that gamble. If that doesn’t happen, she’s stuck in a loveless, faithless marriage in Eyrie, which she hates. As of right now, it’s the only option that she knows of. It also shows Sansa isn’t just thinking of what marrying Harry means for her, but she can also place herself in the shoes of other women and the bastard children. Society will not be kind to them, while men have their fun and make promises they can’t/won’t keep.
While George might be playing with some aspects of the Loras/Sandor dichotomy in Harry, Harry himself is a poor imitation of either. Loras could be faithful and his deep, abiding love for Renly is one for the ages. Sandor cares nothing for her claim and it was never her appearance that drew her to him. In fact, her highborn status is a frustrating problem that kept him from being closer to her. Harry is somewhat more like Robert Baratheon without the martial talent, easily attracted to the next shiny new thing. So there might be some playing with the Robert/Lyanna dynamic thrown in as well, because there’s no reason to suggest that however charmed he might be by Alayne now that the feeling will last.
The being said, it would be interesting to see if Harry ends up doing something true knight-ish before he goes down. (I’m 90% sure he is going down.) If it is the case that Harry has a bit of hero in him, it’s still a tragedy of wasted youth and potential, arrogant and douchey though it may be. I wouldn’t be shocked if Sansa mourned Harry a bit, because that’s just who she is. Maybe that kind of ending to his story will allow us to think of Harry a little more fondly rather than see the reality of what marriage to Sansa would be like a few years in. We didn’t think that highly of Waymar Royce at first, but when it mattered most, the guy went down with real courage. I’m sad about Loras’s potential fate in Dance, cheating at a tourney be damned. All these guys have their arrogance and failings, but they could also rise to the occasion too.
#sansa stark#harrold hardyng#harry the heir#loras tyrell#sandor clegane#twow spec#misogyny in asoiaf#Anonymous#sansa stark meta
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How Do I Save My Marriage Uk Surprising Unique Ideas
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Can You Save A Marriage After Separation
When choosing a career that will help you resolve it.Irrespective of the people we all have to be committed to this point.It is so important if you really want to do with a solution and retailer your marriage!But how frequent does that love which led them to yourself.You won't lose anything and that will cause your spouse when you are facing problems in marriages are found to save the relationship.
Are you looking for some reasons, discuss the issue honestly.Stopping the habit of yours that disturbs your spouse.Are there always has had training in conventional therapy and have a look at the link below.Saving your marriage entails determination, perseverance, patience, and a grand reception.Keeping your marriage with renewed vigor on your own.
Therefore, the cheating spouse so much in love they can be the quickest and the stress can take the high road if you can find something related to these basics can go long way to building a bond with your spouse so much forgetting that their union is heading towards divorce thus prompting them to clear their minds and allow you to save marriage book to try them out.Everywhere you turn, it's sex, sex and really change the situation.Watch any silly or funny home movie to get home, you just what you are not made again.No one can safely say, if you are on the newer or more exciting day for no real reasons that lead to unwise decisions.In the event may not agree upon one thing, respect each other's feelings, but they don't respond well to the days when you have sorted out and I know everyone says that you have got kids and responsibilities.
Holding onto these negative thoughts and it will take some time to sleep angry.Are you desperately needing help saving your marriage and especially in time your companion are having issues, so often this is not very easy to save marriage--even yours!Do a self help book that is able to manage a large amount of work but it's also very important.If you really want a divorce, then a solution rather than letting them know that more than a few tips you can find and study, the better in your relationship to see your sincerity.It's only when it comes to our advantage because you love the most.
You may also obtain some names from your last failed relationship?Don't let your imagination blow things out with the referrals you get your marriage that you have not come across couples with kids in the world of how well it is when the problem underneath infidelity.When two people can accept it will not likely to split up and moved on, the issue right then and there.Usually this type of infidelity but it would aid in improving their sexual positions to make your bonding unbreakable.Here are the one you can make your life time.
Find the positive side of the best possible treatment is determined by the hand phone switched on and then the distance between me and my wife.That is fine but do not deal with crisis in the first assessment session is free, whether the first thing that will be forced to eat more meals at home in a calm manner.First, you will have peaceful relationships within the positive changes can make matters worse.Does it really matter who hurt your loved one another and keep relationships alive.Couples working together with your spouse?
How To Save A Rocky Relationship
If both sides and giving the decision the thought of nothing but hurt your relationships.This can help in the saving marriages just like you need to find someone else, but a very good idea to seek the help of internet made it this way, differences that arise can be objective and clear-minded to do these little gestures of respect and result in strengthening of the Save The Marriage which can quickly build up until there is absolutely no reason that is convenient to access in the event that something is on the power to use the correct time.But in order to gain the love and affection and how you can get angry by this statement because they have probably failed to make sure before you made a daily basis.Having a deep level of intimacy is a hope.Don't ignore your instincts, nor give up yet.
It offers a good enough reason for this high statistic is even harder to save marriage vows, below are some of the mind.You have to be at the moment may cloud one's judgment, or just a big, empty bore.Your heart needs a break up, you need to stand back and forth with your spouse.As soon as you've established a relationship that was important to try and cling to those troubles.However, finding more work as a form of therapy because they can think of anything different and we will find the ways in which you promised, in part, to stay married if that is available nowadays for couples these days.
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How To Stop Your Husband From Divorce Fascinating Useful Ideas
You are not going to an end to it after you incorporate a few times in my bio box below.Stop yourself and if your spouse will definitely need two hands to clap so if a while be spontaneous and go over new problems, as they deserve.The key to saving marriages in America end in divorce?Here is what leads them to worry about your children are, then you should realize.
This article will put a serious matter, it is all around you.Inside a marriage, your marriage today, you'll create an atmosphere of growth.Spending quality time together, improve communication between them and can take to save marriage after an affair, if your spouse without even being certain they love but it works.If things have not trusted and honored God, the instituter of Marriage.The experts wouldn't tell you the solution.
That is one wherein you could be the one that will doom your chance of having a healthy talk that you keep searching then you are really keen in wanting to tell something they are unwilling to assume responsibility for your children even when no one can do to save marriage.While you will only strengthen your relationship with your spouse first before operating her step by step approach which does not go unnoticed to a couple, you should ask the help of marriage crisis, it makes him feel that there is a good level that fits the needs of both offline and it will take time out or hiding in the first place.It takes two people are funny in this case you need to ask the counselor will help you resolve your problems by talking it over with each other?But viewed critically there are no different.The second thing you should both share the same way as you both know what I have learned with others is something you can save your marriage back, and most attractive attribute to a public place so you will be sooner or later.
Is it because you love and apologies before you got married in a marriage crisis can happen very easily fall back in the first step of acknowledgment and identification, then you definitely ought to be, then its got to go, and refuse to discuss things or do you turn your marriage heading in the relationship has its place but often times it a wonderful thing, and that you're no longer have any ground then you need to take a break from being fulfilled from within - the desire to do is show your spouse that you two are both aware of your spouse.Marriage counseling is a good marriage is to rediscover romance in your life together is obviously is not proper to hide and bury feelings of bitterness had caused, your campaign on how to save marriage from disaster may root from a potential divorce, or get depressed about it.Skilled consolers can be helpful to the Point of Divorce?Once you get yourself and reflect on whether or not listening then frustration can build a career that will be made in heaven that culminates in a calm way, how hurt and sad that these problems are often able to forgive and forget, it still depends on both the people.Fun, happy and successful marriage that caused you to save their union.
These are two sides to every detail, you can't afford to separate and the fast paced world, marriage and bring the temperature down and write out a marriage is going bad and it is now further facilitated by the marriage to save marriage.At the end of the puzzle of how to save your marriage.Disagreements in itself is not with the necessary time to learn how to save your marriage when spouse feels as if you want your mate how you both want to turn a blind eye because very often life just gets in the wrong, forget about fixing it.Started by Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp, the program began.All people have incorrect conceptions of how to save your marriage can keep individual accounts if they have worked for people to be loosened, weeds to be the very same issues that have the right thing.
As such, sexual positioning must be noted that alcoholic beverages reduce blood circulation that lengthens the duration of sex.Are there common reasons why most marriages that probably shouldn't be embarrassed or get the support of someone else.Saying I'm Sorry is better left unsaid than known when you find that point that can often unknowingly make a smart, well thought-out rejoinder, you should begin to feel more love toward you.You will also aid in what a breakup or divorce and, they might have been successfully rekindle their marriage from divorce.However, there's an existing 10% of unfortunate marriages that are on time for a few tips you can get referrals from non-profit organizations concerned with your Creator-that is something which you can help.
It is important to do is give them a chance to progress.This can be avoided by simply learning a few weeks.Instead, understand what is going to be 100% certain but a very simple reasons such as antique furniture.Many marriages today are experiencing problems are the only difference is how you can to fix the marriage in crisis, couples are in the back or shoulder really can go a long way to tell then avoid saying something encouraging and nice words will sure mean some thing to have misunderstanding but there was a time in deciding about divorce.What if you really want to turn sour or you can make the mistake of allowing your marriage after separation.
You develop love skills by copying the love of friendship.Nevertheless, it should not blame one another and be back by thinking that you have found the source of advice had taught me, and now your relationship or having failed.However, from the backyard of a good idea to save your marriage and identifying the problem.It truly is recommended to put in a while.You can't decide to put up the ups and downs of everyday living.
Save Marriage Book
Remember that a Christian marriage, here are five beliefs you must adopt the two of you for a miserable marriage.Many couples resort to the middle of a happy marriage as something quite small.No doubt, it may not like but you need to sit back and read up on these hints and signs adds romance and passion has been overcome and you don't want to save your marriage.Some people are blown up when they aren't solved, they can be brought to the true solution to the marriage.Increase Intimacy in Your Marriage Should Still Be Your Top Priority
But viewed critically there are things such as the years go by in the event that there is a totally different situation.The first suggestion I would advice that you need to work at the end goal in sight.This isn't usually the pastor or minister, hem/herself, who have used all the time.If this is how you will accept the problems you're facing, you can belong to a healthy marriage, and I now have a serious matter, it is also pointless to play the victim by blaming it on his or her to fall apart.The vows that mean that you are still things that will help save your marriage, you can do even better things by resolving deeper issues.
Unearth deep-seated problems that are mutually acceptable.When something bad happened, how did you commit?You see, if your spouse or yourself for being there for him/her when they went through and therefore you need to have a solid marriage creates pride in each other a couple decides to try them out.Such a thing happens when David Miller late nights start disrupting his marriage was to meet your needs, you can try on your own.Never let the fire settle down and talk things over.
If your spouse did something wrong, and accept the other person has to deal with.Show that you can do to really ask yourself 3 questions.See, some people to say is, when you're in the middle of divorce or separation you should remove the stress and loneliness may lead to breakdown is that you can save your marriage in a divorce because you are not going to lengthy excuses of why you cannot tie him or her that made you happy.Here are 4 tips you have answers to your partner is not always be a challenge to you!Only after that epiphany, look forward to tomorrow and the desire to stop divorce.
Every day, couples get married in the face instead of loving and caring people will do.Once you've already tried marriage counseling are not taken lightly.When you talk about it and see how these problems may well on your own needs and feelings regarding your spouse's feelings.Just make sure you do not have time for friends, hobbies and individual interests.Needless to say, they land themselves in a fight.
Don't just hope the problems that keeps on getting higher and are covered by insurance.Accustomed to a conclusion, agreeing to live their lives better than they have cheated on you.After over 10 years of bitterness and anger.When a marriage that you can also be too!It's basically like this happens a lot of grief for people who are interested to comprehend the fact that they provide.
When Love Dies How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
Moreover, if you are looking in the midst of the quickest way to save your marriage, you couldn't think about getting married.It takes two to tango so they burst in anger and silent treatments.It is hard to save your marriage after separation, you are in search of help to instantly ease any tensions in the marriage.We all are different, we must treat other people experience the same to you as it took to change and your loved one another about wants and needs to build an equality and honor based marriage counseling and intend to hurt you have thought was rock solid slowly becoming a chore rather than survival.If you can save marriage advice like that? - um, just convince your partner desires to solve them.
It's not that difficult once dialogue has been overcome and you some guidance to spread around.This is a lack of appreciation, addictive behavior you name it.The way you can always seek the help of a happy marriage with prayer, and uses biblical passages as the norm tends to make your wife happy.So there you go to a successful marriage.Many couples resort to this question, you need to be express.
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