#obv impact over intent

[god-has-entered-my-body]

Sun drowns the house - George Daniel & Matty Healy

aka: the spit roasting fic

A/N: took my meds just to write this fic, also thank you my love @justleaveatnine for forcing me to write and ALSO proofing this for me xx

wc: 6k

content warnings: litch everything i fear, smut, dirty talk, degradation, praise, so insanely gay dont look at me, this is what happens when a gatty truther writes a threesome fic, spit roasting (obv), handjobs (sort of), matty in lingerie (a given at this point), knife play, dom George for literally three seconds, insanely pathetic gatty for the rest, she orders them around (also a given atp), cunnilingus, slight impact play if u squint, begging, denial (sort of), facials, cumplay, mention of sub drop, but he's well taken care of x, disgustingly sweet because i have to, MDNI!!!!!!!!

You hear them first  

The door clicking open, Matty struggling to get the chain off to let George in, and then muffled footsteps as he toes his shoes off, throwing them into the floor next to the coat rack. Muffled voices laugh as Matty says something out of pocket, ushering him upstairs with a giggle. The door to the bedroom creaks open, stopping halfway through the motion because of its broken hinge.   

That's when you see both of them. Matty’s hand touching George’s arm, right above where his elbow creases. The glossy magazine in your hands is heavy, pictures of models in posh clothes littering the pages, pops of vibrant color drawing you in. It’s one of Matty’s, his extensive collection of them growing in piles next to the bed. You joke that you don't even need a nightstand anymore, you could just put the lamp on the stack of old vogue. 

You set it down, straightening your back as George looks in your direction, nodding at you as Matty keeps touching him, only letting go to close the door, leaning his back against it as you pat the bed next to you, asking George to come sit down next to you. The furniture creaks awkwardly, making you giggle when the mattress dips beside you, the unmade sheets crumpling even more under the two of you. 

George's eyes wander over to Matty, who surprisingly, is still just standing there, looking at both of you. He shifts on the bed, uncrossing his legs to sit with his feet planted on the floor, both hands on his knees as you move behind him, trying to figure out what he’s doing. 

That's when you see it. 

Matty stands there, a filthy smirk plastered on his face as both you and George stare at him, everything clicking into place slowly. His clothing gives his intentions away so blatantly, it almost makes you laugh. Clad in his favorite black, skin-tight jeans, he’s paired them with a pair of new heels neither of you had seen before. Cherry red platforms, rhinestones lined along the bottom, glimmering mesmerizingly as your eyes travel further up, taking in the sight of him all dressed up for you. 

You can feel George move oddly, and you know his little ensemble affects him just as much as you, if not even more. Matty’s top is pink and slightly see through, and you recognise it as one of yours, seeing how it hangs a bit loosely, folding and draping itself over his chest and torso. You hear the soft metallic sounds of jewelry as Matty takes a step forward, the glitter around his eyes becoming more and more visible the closer he gets the the foot of the bed

“What are you playing at, Matty?” George speaks, making you jump just a bit as his voice reverberates through your body, the low tone of his voice going straight to your core. Matty scoffs and shakes his head at the accusation, however true it might ring. 

“Just want to hang out with my mates, is that a crime now?” he deflects with another question, waving his hands around him gesturing to you, then George, like that somehow strengthens his point. 

“No one gets that done up just to hang out.” you breathe, blatantly enjoying the view as Matty’s hands find his hair, brushing back the freshly washed curls out of his face. George cocks an eyebrow at him, nodding along in agreement. Matty simply shrugs, picking at his nails in a bored way as the tension in the room builds, Both of you know what he wants, you just want to hear him say it. 

“What did you really have planned when you invited G over?” you say, hearing George suck in a deep breath in through his nose, steadying himself before Matty answers, who puts his hands up in defeat.   

“Got me there darling, m’not as slick as I thought.” now it’s your turn to scoff, “You really aren’t.”

Matty isn’t bothered by your jabs, pulling a playful face at you.

“I brought our sweet George over here to fuck him” he walks over to the foot of the bed, finding George’s choked reaction quite amusing. “Or watch him fuck you, I don't mind either way. But you knew that from the moment I walked in here.” 

"D'you want to get in my panties, George? Want me to scream your name like I scream hers?" Matty speaks, his voice sultry and low as George lunges towards him, catching his lips in a hot kiss, full of teeth and tongue and desperation as Matty whines into it, letting George take over. George’s eyes are wide when he finally pulls away, darting over Matty’s features before pulling him back in, both of them breathless as though they had just to run a marathon. You watch intently, taking in every movement and noise coming from the two of them, committing it all to memory. 

“Oh, I like this.” you whisper, grinning at the two of them as they turn to glance at you, sat back with your back against the headboard, watching the scene in front of you. “Of course you do, freak.” Matty murmurs, nipping Georges bottom lip with his teeth as the blonde gasps softly, eyes blown out and flicking between you and Matty frantically, not sure where to look. 

A delicate hand guides his face to look straight at Matty, their lips locking in another bruising kiss, making even you feel the heat of it, your fingers brushing your hair out of your face as they break away and turn to look at you. Both of their chests heave with effort, George using every ounce of self control left in him to not kiss him again, opting to bite his lip and try to catch his breath instead. Matty grins wildly, looking you up and down as ideas run through his mind, all of them absolutely filthy.

“Don’t want her to miss out on the action, yeah?” His voice is teasing as George looks at you in the same way Matty did, full of desire and want. “‘Course not.” The bed creaks loudly as Matty climbs off George, quickly pouncing onto you and slamming your back into the headboard, your crash cushioned by pillows and blankets. You yelp, a small giggle escaping you as a mess of curls bends down to press his lips to yours, tongue licking into your mouth dizzyingly 

Now it’s George's turn to watch how Matty kisses you, his lips moving from your lips to your cheek to your jaw, slowly trailing down until he reaches your collar bones, his teeth nipping at them lightly. He makes his way down your body, hands pushing your top up to reveal inches of skin previously concealed, a soft gasp leaving your lips as he presses a hot kiss right between your tits, pulling at your shirt hard enough to get you to raise your arms and have George pull it off you. No words, except a quiet “Fucking hell,” from George, are exchanged as you lean forward to unhook your bra, letting it slowly fall off you and be discarded in the corner. 

You can hear Matty exhale sharply, licking his lips before diving back in, sucking marks and bruises onto the skin of your tits, biting down every so often just to feel you twitch. He grins against you as George catches your lips in a sweet kiss, his hand coming up to cup your face as Matty presses wet kisses all down your stomach, his fingers digging into the fat of your hips, hard enough to leave bruises. 

The bed creaks again as George disconnects his lips from yours, proceeding to nudge Matty off to the left, making you spread your legs even wider. You feel obscene as George kneels in between your legs, right next to Matty, his large hands gripping your jean clad thigh and peppering kisses over the material.

“Fucking gorgeous, tastes amazing as well.” Matty mutters, almost inaudibly, his fingers toying with the button of your pants, tongue running over the zipper teasingly. The eye contact makes you dizzy with need, his eyes fluttering as the thought of his mouth on you takes over his mind. 

You look over at George, who looks like he’s trying to desperately suppress a moan at Matty’s words, his breathing heavy. Matty senses how worked up he is, his own cock starting to fill in the confines of his tight jeans. His fingers work to undo the button of your pants, the quiet pop insanely loud in the near silent room. Matty runs his thumb over the zipper, looking up and slightly behind him to get a good look at George, who is panting and bright red, rock hard in his shorts.   

“Want a taste?” Matty’s words are smooth, sure, sultry. George looks like he’s about to pass out when he pulls your zipper down, the sound ringing through his head as loud as sirens, his eyes wide and lips parted. “Fuck, can I?” George pants, his voice shaky and so turned on, he can barely form words. Matty looks up to you, his look asking for your approval, and you vigorously nod your head, pulling your gaze over to George.  “Yeah, yeah please, George– fuck.” you breathe, your eyes heavy and hooded, nipples hard against the cool air. 

Matty works on tugging your jeans down your thighs and off you, George’s hands coming up to roll your nipples between his fingers, making you gasp in a mix of pain and pleasure, head foggy with lust and desire for both of them. The moment your pants hit the floor you can feel Matty’s tongue on you, licking and sucking your clit over your cotton panties, the front of them painted with a visible wet spot, making his grin against you as the taste envelopes his senses. You roll your hips against his mouth, desperate for any friction you can get, a soft moan leaving George’s lips at the sight of Matty’s head buried between your thighs. 

With your eyes closed, you can only hear how George properly settles between your legs, mirroring Matty’s position, on his stomach. You watch as Matty moves to the side, leaving hickeys all over your thigh as George lets his fingers trace over the wet patch on the front of your panties, a mix of your arousal and Matty’s spit, shuddering as he feels you twitch under his touch. You genuinely can't think straight as George hooks his thumb into the waistband of your panties, slipping them down and off you as you arch your hips, Matty so blatantly staring at your glistening core it almost makes you giggle. 

You  bite back a whimper when George takes your panties into his right hand, stuffing them into his pocket with a smirk, Matty grinning wildly once he realizes what he'd done. George’s tongue on you feels like absolute heaven, his hand snaking around your waist to grip you tighter, pulling you impossibly close to him. Matty watches with lustful eyes, his gaze flicking from where you and George connect and your face, very much enjoying the blissed out expression painting your features. 

Your skin is flush, sweat making your hair stick to your forehead as your hips arch up and grind onto George’s tongue, blinding pleasure shooting into every corner of your body as he laps at your clit, quickly being pulled away by a very eager Matty, yelping as he’s yanked back by the hair. His lips are replaced by Matty’s, who is moaning into your cunt so obscenely it makes you blush even harder. “Want you to kiss him baby, show G some love, yeah?” you whisper, your hand running through Matty’s messed up curls as he nods, turning his head and being met with George’s face already incredibly close to his. 

The kiss is hot, all tongue and teeth and soft, breathy whimpers, the sound like music to your ears. George’s fingers circle your clit as they make out, sparks of pleasure making pressure build in your core. It doesn’t take long for George to pull away, his hand threading through Matty’s hair and staying there, guiding his mouth back to your clit, a choked moan leaving your lips. “Making her feel so good, doll, look how loud she is for us.” George coos, looking up at you as his hand presses Matty’s face further into your cunt, depriving him of any oxygen. 

You can tell how much Matty is enjoying this, his hips bucking into the mattress helplessly as George talks him through it, whispering filthy things into his ear as his lips connect with his neck, the angle awkward but still insanely hot, your eyes rolling back when George rests his head on your thigh, watching Matty eat you out with such an intensity it makes his head spin. You can feel your orgasm approaching rapidly, your chest heaving and mind hazy with pleasure, making Matty redouble his efforts as George keeps guiding his head. 

You try to warn him, but Matty just nods into your cunt, swirling his tongue around your clit and sucking it between his lips, making your vision white out in pleasure as you cum, legs trembling even in George’s firm grip. “Fuck, there you go doll, making her cum so hard, aren’t you?” George whispers, breathless at the sight of you thrashing and grinding down onto Matty’s tongue to ride out your orgasm. 

Matty’s face is slick when he pulls away, licking his lip with a filthy smirk plastered on his face. Both of them get on their knees, now kneeling in front of you, still panting and hazy from your climax. 

The kiss they share is frantic, needy, almost animalistic as Matty presses his body against his, hands tugging at George’s shirt, moaning wantonly into his mouth. “Off, need this off.” he whines, George obeying and lifting his arms up to allow Matty to take his shirt off him, leaving his sweaty chest bare. You watch as Matty’s teeth sink into the skin of his shoulder, making George cry out in surprise. The yelp slowly turns into a groan as the pain morphs into pleasure, Matty sucking hickeys into the space right below his jaw, hands roaming his chest and tweaking his nipples. 

George gives in to his touch for a while, feeling every intense sensation tenfold as Matty touches him, overwhelming him with pleasure and pure need. It’s almost painful to pull away, but he does, making eye contact with you as Matty cocks his head, following his gaze to you. You’re still laying there, though slightly sat up now as you watch the scene in front of you unfold, grinning at the show they’re putting on for you with hungry eyes. 

“I want..'' George stammers a bit, trying to form a coherent sentence as his cock strains against his trousers, Matty’s mouth back on his chest not helping him in the slightest. You smirk at Matty, parting your bruised lips to speak, your words coated in thick honey. “Tell me, baby, what do you want? Don’t be shy.” Your tone doesn’t help George speak clearly, it only clouds his mind even more, thoughts and fantasies flashing in front of his eyes faster than he can verbalize them. 

“I want you to, uhm–,” George pauses again, biting his lip as teeth graze over his nipple, the sharp pain making his cock even harder. Matty giggles at his reaction boyishly, like he isn't just as hard and twice as desperate as him, his cockiness turning you on even more. 

 “I want you to fuck him. Like you told me, wanna see him take it.” 

Those words make Matty perk up, his eyes fluttering at the thought of being filled by you, feeling you pounding into him mercilessly. You don't even acknowledge his reaction, ignoring him completely as you speak to George and only George. 

“Yeah? Wanna see how pretty he looks crying for us?” You can tell how turned on Matty is, the way you two speak about him like he isnt in the room making him dizzy with lust and want, his lips pulling away from George’s now marked up chest in favor of frantically trying to look at both of you at once, hoping to see a spark of interest in your eyes. What he sees is so much more than interest. He sees promise, and George’s next words only solidify what he hopes is going to happen. 

 “Please…Fuck, darling–”

“I know baby, just lie on the bed for me, yeah?” you coo, getting up to a kneeling position and pressing a (hardly) chaste kiss to George’s wet lips. You get up slowly, turning your back to sift through the nightstand drawer, hearing the bed creak behind you as George lays down where you previously were, leaning his back against the headboard. Your hands finally feel what you were searching for, grinning to yourself as you pull the strapon out from the mess of toys and lube that live in your bedside drawer. 

Turning back around, your breath hitches at the sight in front of you. Matty on his stomach, settled between George’s spread legs, cheek nuzzling into his tensed thigh. Strap in hand, you grin at them, both blatantly ogling your naked frame, eyes raking over the curve of your hips, the slight pudge of your stomach, and you feel a flash of power, of control rush through you at how much you affect them. 

“Getting started without me? Not that I'm complaining.” you giggle at Matty’s smile, eyes hooded in overwhelming lust as he rubs against George’s bulge, knowing how much you love it when he does shit like this. 

“And I thought Georgie here was the voyeur.” he says, his teasing tone making an already nervous George stammer and stutter over his words pathetically, trying to defend himself. “I– I don’t–” 

“Shh, it’s alright darling, no need to be shy.” you speak, slipping on the strap tightening the harness around your hips, watching how Matty’s eyes widen in anticipation. You know you look hot, evident in the way they both look at you, silently begging you to do something, anything, or at least allow them to do something to each other. 

“Oh– fuckk– ” the desperate noise comes from George, caused by Matty suddenly unzipping his trousers, the pressure on his cock finally being relieved after what feels like hours. Matty practically salivates at the sight of his cock straining against his boxers, eyes flicking back up to where you're standing, wordlessly begging for permission to touch him properly. “Just keep being pretty for me, I'll be right there.” you tell him, his defeated nod making your core stir with desire. 

Brushing your hair with your fingers, you grab the bottle of lube sitting on the nightstand, fumbling it and earning a giggle from Matty. You watch him mouth along George’s cock through his boxers, the blonde’s eyes screwed shut in torturous pleasure as Matty teases him. Matty, still fully clothed, attempts to grind against the mattress, being the only one that hasn't been properly touched this whole time. You chuckle to yourself and so does George, and you make playful eye contact as Matty whines, slowly getting more and more impatient. 

“Getting so worked up for us, aren’t you baby? Want me to fuck you, is that it?” you tease mercilessly, dragging out each syllable until Matty feels like he’s going to cum on the fucking spot, his hips bucking wildly against the sheets. George watches as you kneel on the bed right behind Matty, nudging his legs telling him to spread them. “Let's get these off you, yeah?” Matty nods frantically, too turned on to speak as he licks up George’s shaft, watching him twitch under the heat of his tongue. 

Matty shuffles on the bed, kneeling and staring at George as he unbuttons his skin-tight jeans, moaning in relief as the pressure is lifted off his leaking cock. The lust is so dizzying that he fumbles with the zipper for a few beats, finally getting it down far enough to show both of you the new lace he had gotten especially for today. You make eye contact with George, the sight of him palming himself over his boxers, skin flushed bright red and chest heaving burning itself into your memory. Matty throws his jeans off the bed, taking a moment to mirror George’s movements on his own cock, pornographic moans spilling from his lips at the sensation. 

Matty’s your top is next to go, joining the crumpled up jeans on the floor. Your breath hitches when he looks back at you, winking provocatively before running his hands up his chest, finally able to touch himself properly. You let him, knowing how much George is enjoying the show based on the choked groans leaving his lips, the whole scene going straight to your core. 

“Get on your stomach, baby, make G here feel so good for me.” you speak slowly, smiling condescendingly as Matty’s eyes cloud over with lust, his nod dazed and desperate, and you know he’d do anything right in that moment. He does what you say, leaning forward and scooting onto his stomach, back in the position he was before. Clicking your tongue, you grab his hips harshly. “You know what I need from you Matty– yeahh that's it baby, arch that pretty back for me, doesn't he look so good like this, George?” 

Both of them whine at your words, and you can physically feel how bad Matty needs you, his breathing heavy and irregular, skin glistening with sweat. You’ve dragged this out as long as you can, teasing and toying with both of them to near tears. Right when they think it's over, all the games and demands, that's when you pull out one final item from under the sheets. 

A small pocket knife. 

Matty can’t see it, but George can. His eyes widen as you twirl it at him, grinning wildly as you lean down to whisper into Matty’s ear, your strap pressing up against him, making him tremble in anticipation. Trailing the blade down his spine, you watch goosebumps erupt all over his skin as he slowly realizes exactly what you’re doing, a strangled whine ripping itself from his throat. 

“Want me to cut your pretty panties off you, baby? Have you all exposed for us?” 

Your words make Matty genuinely shiver, his nodding frantic as he turns his head back to catch a glimpse of the knife, so overwhelmed with sensation he can't form a single coherent thought, his hips pressing back into your strap. “Don’t neglect poor George just because you’re a fucking whore for me, yeah?” As the focus is brought back to him, you watch George’s eyes snap up to meet yours, wide and hazy. 

Matty whimpers quietly, his fingers quickly working to tug George’s shorts further down, taking his boxers with them. George stifles a moan as Matty’s cool hand wraps around his cock, gathering the precum at the tip and smearing it down his shaft. “Fuck, you’re so hard.” are the only words he can force out, mesmerized by George and his reaction. “C’mon baby, spit on his pretty dick, get him nice and wet.” you urge him, and George can't stop the pathetic obscene moan that leaves his lips when Matty does just that, spit dribbling down his as his hand moves up and down his cock. 

What finally does George in is the way Matty looks at him, teary eyed and desperate, his tongue darting out to kitten lick the tip, sucking the head of his cock between his lips. The look of absolute bliss on George’s face makes your breath hitch, one of your hands trailing up to grope yourself, enjoying the scene playing out in front of you. 

You use Matty’s preoccupation to trace the knife in your hand further down his back, hooking the blad into the waistband of his panties, slowly letting the material split until it quite literally falls off him. 

You can tell exactly when Matty takes George completely into his mouth, a dragged out, “O-oh god– shittt.” leaving his lips as George lets one of his hands find Matty’s cheek, soothingly rubbing it as he bobs his head, making the blonde’s eyes screw shut in pleasure. You don’t let yourself get lost in it though, but fuck, it’s hard not to. The sound of the cap opening is impossibly loud, and Matty recognises it immediately, his hips bucking violently as he gags around George, eyes tearing up from the effort. 

You slick up your strap with a generous amount of lube, using the remaining liquid to draw a small heart on Matty’s back, the shape shining even in the dim light of the bedroom. Matty coughs violently as George accidentally thrusts up into his mouth, a mix of spit and precum dripping down his chin as he pulls off for a second, wiping away a few tears.

“I’m okay G, I promise. Fuck, that was so hot.” he assures George, grinning up at him with sparkling eyes, mouthing an inaudible “I love you,” before taking him back down his throat. 

You watch as George threads his hand into Matty’s hair, pushing his head down slightly and gauging his reaction, a muffled moan telling him all he needs to know. Using more force, he guides Matty’s head up and down his cock, slowly, almost lovingly, fucking his mouth. The groans that spill from his lips are nothing short of delicious, spurring Matty on to take him even further, doing his absolute best to suppress his gag reflex, relishing in the feeling of George’s cock hitting the back of his throat. 

Leaning down once again, you whisper quietly against Matty’s ear, “Relax a bit Matty, mhm? I’m so proud of you, you’re taking this so well for us.” Matty can only whine in response, attempting to nod even with his mouth stuffed full of cock. . 

You inhale deeply before pressing the tip of the strap to his hole, teasing him one last time, just for the sake of watching him squirm and writhe under you. You know his cock is leaking onto the sheets by now, making a mess of them because he can’t help himself when it's the two of you, thinking his with dick instead of his brain. 

“He’s so fucking pretty George. Look how good he’s gonna take my cock, aren't you baby?” you speak, nodding at a blissed out George, so overwhelmed with pleasure he can barely respond, nodding back at you. The relieved moan that leaves Matty’s lips when you finally, finally press into him is nothing short of pornographic, audible even over the wet sounds of his lips sinking down on George’s cock, bringing him closer and closer to the edge with each and every movement. 

“So gorgeous doll, feels good?” you coo, your hands gripping his hips and holding him in place, mercilessly fucking into him and never once letting up for even a second. Matty pulls off of George to answer, his hand taking over while he speaks, stumbling over his words pathetically. “P-please, feel so full, fuckk–” 

George just watches you thrust into him, brushing against his g-spot with each movement of your hips, Matty’s whines once again muffled by his cock fuckign into his mouth, taking pleasure like it belongs to him. “Taking us so good Matty– looks so fucking pretty too, doesn't he?” Your words motivate Matty to no end, and he deepthroats George until he can’t breathe, so eager to please it literally possesses him, the only thing on his mind being you and George. 

“Yeah, y’look so beautiful choking on my cock, fuck.” George groans, and you know he’s close because of how his voice pitches up, sounding eerily similar to Matty. You almost scold him when he pulls off again, his obscene moans now even louder as your strap hits his g-spot over and over again, making him dizzy and all his thoughts go away, pleasure taking over every inch of his being. 

“Feels s’good, shit– Please make me cum, darling I need to cum so fucking bad, been so good f’you, please.'' Wet sounds fill the room, and you're sure you look like something straight out of a porno, the position so filthy it clouds your mind, your movements speeding up, causing Matty to moan louder, loud enough for even the neighbors to hear. Not that you would mind.   

“George–” he starts, interrupted by your chest pressing to his back and you reaching to wrap your hand around his cock, squeezing him before putting on a condescending tone “Speak up baby, he can’t hear you.” George can barely think, so fucking close to the edge he can taste it, his cock leaking and twitching with every jerk of Matty’s hand, his knuckles ghostly white where he grips the sheets, trying desperately to hold off his rapidly approaching orgasm. 

“George, I want– FUCK– please, oh god fuck.” Matty’s voice cracks as you start drilling impossibly deeper into him, stretching his hole around your strap, mesmerized by how absolutely fucked out he looks even though you can barely see his face. 

“Want you to cum on m’face G, please darling, please.” he slurs, eyes hooded and heavy as he twitches in your hand, threatening to cum in mere seconds if you don’t get your hands off of him. You want this to last, after all.  

“So filthy, and here we thought you had a bit of dignity left in you. I don’t blame you though, baby, just look at him.” you let go of his cock, a quiet whine interrupting you, earning Matty a soft slap to the flesh of his arse. 

George pants, his hair wild and eyes glazed over with lust, looking like the fucking personification of sex. Matty’s eyes light up when he nods, blinking slowly as his hands settle on his stomach, leaving Matty to do all the work for him. You can tell how much he loves the idea of finishing on Matty’s face, the thought messing with him much more than he lets on. But you know, and he knows you know. 

It doesn't take anything but a few jerks of his cock and Matty batting his lashes, looking up at him with that eager, fucked out expression on his face that could make anyone give in to him to make George spill all over his face, painting his features with thick ropes of cum. George shudders violently, bucking his hips into Matty’s hand as he works him through his orgasm, sticking his tongue out to fuck with him even more. 

You don't stop pounding into Matty, not even for a second, the bed shaking with the sheer force of your thrusts as Matty’s moans and whimpers go unmuffled. “M’so close, fuck, please darling, fuck me harder.” George sees him genuinely tear up, bringing his hand up to cup his face sweetly, wiping away stray tears as a wanton moan spills from his lips. 

“Jesus christ, he’s–” you don't even let him finish, nodding in agreement as Matty presses his cheek into George’s hand, his please borderline incoherent by now.

“Fucking wet dream, isn’t he? Can never get used to how sweet he sounds, can I, baby?” Matty nods violently, his cock twitching and leaking precum, and you know he’s never been more ready to cum in his life. Yet, he knows he can’t, not until you allow him to. 

“Pleasepleaseplease, oh god m’gonna cum, please George–” Matty uses the last of his strength to beg the one person who he knows would let him, tears rolling down his cheeks, mascara and eyeshadow mixing with his smeared lipstick as he begs for permission

“Go on doll, cum for us. I know how bad you want to, yeah? Fucking soak our sheets.” George speaks slowly, his voice rough and strong, a flash of dominance coursing through his veins right in that moment. 

Matty cums, hard, writhing against the mattress, legs shaking while George's hand soothingly runs through his messed up hair, the touch comforting as his orgasm washes over him in violent, almost forceful waves. 

“Look so beautiful Matty, just let go, let it all out, baby.” 

You swear he’s never looked this good in your life, having taken absolutely everything you’ve given to him with an obedient nod and an eager expression, holding off until he’s made both you and George cum. You stroke his back lovingly as he goes limp against the bed, breathing heavy, his small sounds of pleasure as you pull out making you smile. 

George whispers unintelligible praise, making sure he knows how good he had been for both of you, how absolutely loved he is. 

“I love you so much baby, did so well for us.” you say, your tone loving and soft, peppering kisses down his spine as you slip off the harness, discarding it somewhere behind you. Matty nods weakly into George’s thigh, muttering a small “love you too,” back at you. 

“Gotta get up for us, doll, need to clean you up.” Matty groans in protest to Georges implication that he should move, eventually giving in at the promise of a more comfortable, less wet sleep. You get up to get tissues, wiping the cum off his face with a giggle, earning an amused chuckle from George, who is holding Matty against his chest, stroking his hair and kissing his shoulders lovingly, showering him with the affection he most definitely deserves. 

“Sleep?” Matty whispers quietly, evidently tired and half asleep already, his head resting against George’s shoulder. You nod, guiding his frame to lay down between you and George, letting your arm drape over him comfortingly. 

“You were so amazing Matty, we’re both so, so proud of you.” Matty, now slightly more coherent, offers a cheeky “Yeah I know that, fucking look at the state of me.”  

George lets out a girlish giggle at his words, wrapping his arm around his waist, letting Matty slowly drift off into sleep, absolutely exhausted and rightfully so, given the relentless teasing and torture you had put to poor boy through. He loved it though, and reassures you of that every chance he gets

You make eye contact with him one last time, George mouthing a barely audible “I love you,” shutting his eyes just in time to miss the massive, stupid grin plastered on your face. 

Their soft snoring and the heat of their bodies beside you lulls you into a deep, comfortable sleep, peacefully surrounded by the two people you love most. 

[tangents-within-tangents]

Local Ace overthinks headcanon and shipping culture

Happy ace week, my friends! Imma be posting some aspec hc's this week so I felt the need to overexplain my personal stance on orientation headcanons and such

To start, as with any and all fandom things: to each their own. People can do whatever they want, and (for the most part) I can choose what I do or don't engage with. I know that hc and shipping and stuff is mostly for fun, or for seeking/creating representation, no hate to anyone who does it and enjoys it.

But also sometimes things can be problematic and I can still be bothered by those things. Even things that are 'just for fun' or 'not for you' can impact and reflect our views and behaviors, so it's still worth speaking about.

Aro/ace-spec identities are really diverse and complex, and we're really underrepresented as is. We have historically and chronically been plagued by problematic misconceptions and tropes, both in canon representation (or lack thereof) and fanon mindsets. Some of the main issues to be aware of with this topic specifically:

The majority of (sometimes unintentional) representation being non-human characters (like aliens and robots) implying that sex/romance = humanity and/or a fulfilling life. (Here's some video essays that touch on this: X X)

Related stereotype issues like racist or ableist de-sexualization and infantilization of certain groups like Asian men, physically disabled people, or people with autism. (It's an intersectionality thing bc yes those people can be aro/ace as well but it's still complicated) (more video essays! X X)

Common erasure of historically aspec characters in favor of allo plotlines bc that's "more interesting/realistic". Or ignoring canonically established aspec characters in favor of allo shipping (often excused by the fact that some aro/ace people do have sex/relationships, which is true but the complexities and nuances are often ignored and there's lots of double standards) (Here's some posts that touch on this: X X X)

Amatonormativity's over emphasis on sex/romance as a fundamental and necessary part of life, which is often reflected in how media and shipping culture are generally allo-centric, and it can just get pretty pervasive at times (note: we aren't a monolith obv, some aro/ace people enjoy it and participate too, but others don't and it is hard to avoid) X X

So while I know there's lots of reasons for shipping and headcanoning, and for the most part there's nothing wrong with it and people aren't trying to do these things, there are still issues that exist. Honestly seeing posts talking about these things has been really validating for me bc it let me know like yeah this is a problem other's have noticed too and I don't have to just accept it.

So with respect and awareness of nuance, ship and headcanon however you want. The rest of this post is about my own personal preferences and such. I'm not necessarily trying to persuade anyone here, I just have some thoughts I want to put into words:

For me personally, when it comes to characters' sexualities/gender identities/etc, I prefer just to stick to whatever is established in canon (or in confirmed intentional coding), and, if nothing is specified, headcanons that are based in canon evidence (more like theories I guess, as opposed to reimaginings or straight-up projection that knowingly ignores parts of canon. Which is fine and fun if that's what you like but to me there is a distinction). This is because:

1: While fandom culture is all about freedom and creativity, I do think it's important in this day and age to recognize actual canon representation and strive towards that because that is what will reach more people and have impact (and personally I think that writers' intentions should actually be given more thought/value)

2: I think that shipping/hc/fandom culture in general tends to perpetuate amatonormativity (specifically in devaluing/erasing friendship and non-romantic love), and sometimes leads to harmful parasocial queer speculation in real life (though again, I know that's not the intention but it's still a thing).

3: Generally, unless it’s explored as a part of a reimagined fic or something, just saying a random character is aspec (or whatever identity) when they did not present that way at all in the actual media doesn't really help me feel seen.

For example, I've seen a lot of people headcanon Mabel Pines as aromantic and that really threw me off bc in the show she is obsessed with romance. Like if other's see themselves in her that is great I won't stop you (the idea is that her crushes are comphet, which is not something I personally struggled with, and maybe I could see it if I rewatched the show with that in mind) but when I watched the show, I specifically did not connect with or relate to Mabel BECAUSE of my ace identity (yeah this post was mainly about her lol) so it just doesn't do much for me to claim her as aspec, in fact it feels counterproductive.

Sometimes it can feel really tacked on too, like 'well it's not confirmed that this character has sex so they could be ace', or 'some ace people do have sex so they can still be ace.' And like sure yes they could be but often it's like a kid show or something so none of the characters' sex lives are relevant or explicitly confirmed. Just bc they aren't not ace doesn't mean that they are, or that saying they are is meaningful if the character/story doesn't actually speak to anything related to the ace identity or experience. (This can happen with canon characters too, like Sponge Bob being asexual means absolutely nothing to me, especially since I get the sense that the creator said that more in a 'sea sponges reproduce asexually' type of way :/ )

So basically, in terms of representation I prefer the theory/interpretation type of headcanons that have supporting evidence of some kind, because that evidence is what makes me see myself in a character and feel represented in some way by them. So that's the type of headcanons I'll be posting, and that's why I'll be discussing evidence and explanations, even though I know plenty of people have fun and find value in just claiming identities without any of that.

Another thing I feel the need to overexplain is kinda the reverse of that. I think it's important to recognize that a character does not have to be a certain identity for you to see yourself in them. Like that sense of relatability and representation is still valid even if they aren't, and I think it's good to leave space for that ambiguity.

This is coming mostly from the fact that I have always valued platonic relationships (between any and all genders) long before I ever knew I was ace. I've always wished that was better normalized and represented in media and real life. I think that is just as important as queer representation, and sometimes they can counteract each other.

Like yes Min and Ryan could be gay and if that's what the writers were going for despite restrictions, or if people see themselves in that, great! But I would also love for this story to give a close friendship this much narrative value for once.

Merida does not HAVE to be aro/ace (or lesbian) to not want to be forced into marriage with a stranger at the age of 16 (in fact she specially says "I'm not ready" and "not yet"). But regardless, aspects of her story are still really relatable to us and applicable to living in amatonormative society.

Mako and/or Raleigh do not NEED to be aspec for this glorious refreshing no-romo moment to happen (nor does one need to be aspec to appreciate it)

And maybe claiming them as aro/ace could even undercut the power of this platonic bond (like saying the only way they could not be interested in each other is if they are not interested in anyone (same if you said they are gay, as if that's the only possible way for a man and woman not to be attracted to each other)). But it's still a moment lots of us aspecs love because platonic relationships AND aro/ace characters do go hand in hand and BOTH are so rarely portrayed in media.

So these ideas also play into my preferences, and I want to acknowledge that my headcanons don't have to be definitive (which like I know that is normal amongst fandom culture anyway) but are more about pointing out aspects we can see ourselves in and relate to, especially in a media landscape that is so lacking in representation and understanding of our identities.

[roobylavender]

second tag meme and also from @ravenkinnie: book recs!

no time to spare / ursula le guin / i've been slowly trying to make my way through her essay collections and this is one i really love so far. i also read words are my matter but that one had some of her more questionable political stances so i enjoyed this one bc it was focused on more generic and personal topics

good intentions / kasim ali / i would honestly highly recommend this to south asians specifically bc i don't think i've seen any other book that holds south asian millennials accountable for their tendency to damn their parents to inflexibility from the outset and then fail to hold themselves accountable for never challenging traditional mindsets. this book specifically deals with anti-blackness within the south asian community and i think it does a fantastic job of it (please wait until the end bc it does end as it deserves to end but for a moment you will get worried towards the middle that it won't go that way lol. trust me)

the king of attolia / megan whalen turner / obv i would rec the queen's thief series in general but this is by and large my favorite of the whole series (well. bar the sixth book which closely ties with it) and much as i am sure everyone loved this series the most when it was from eugenides's perspective i cannot help but think that i never love eugenides more than when i read about him through the perspective of those who love him dearly

each little bird that sings / deborah wiles / this was a pretty formative book in my childhood esp wrt the concept of how children process death. it's actually part of a quartet of companion novels, each of which i love dearly and one of which is actually the inspiration for my current username, but i think this one is executed the best and it also happens to be the most well known installment, definitely for good reason

supreme inequality / adam cohen / i feel like if you're not necessarily into studying the law but want to gain a better, in-depth understanding of why we are where we are right now with american law this is a good book to read. it corrects a lot of misconceptions around the idea that the supreme court was ever consistently progressive (ie severe brevity and breakdown of the social welfare oriented burger era) and discusses the evolution of judicial interpretation of major topics over the course of the last several decades

the f team / rawah arja / this came as a rec in a melina marchetta newsletter and i'm so glad it did! it's a really fun and messy look into life as a lebanese-australian boy and what i think it does well is not shy away from culturally ingrained flaws, rather seek to dissect and understand them and highlight how crucial an emotionally mature and communication-dependent upbringing is for young muslim/arab boys. there are a few jokes here and there that caught the side eye from me bc they felt severely lacking in self-awareness but other than that i really enjoyed it

the piper's son / melina marchetta / my favorite marchetta novel forever and always, and the second installment in the inner west trilogy of companion novels, following saving francesca. what i really adore about this one is the interplay of grief between so many people and this guilt you have to overcome over the impact of the death of a loved one on your life. bc sometimes it utterly tears you apart and other times it brings you together and the emotions of that are so horribly complicated. i also simply adore the continued exploration of the main friend group and how as harsh as the girls are on tom they are so protective and dedicated, too, bc that's how they all are with each other. it's a book that constantly makes me ache

beloved / toni morrison / interestingly i find this book to be highly relevant considering the recent abortion fiasco in the american legal scene and its relation to abusive domestic situations but it's also one of the books i loved reading the most in undergrad particularly bc of its brutal exploration into how oppressed peoples are driven to self-inflicted violence as a last resort. can you blame a woman for killing her child when the only other option was damning that child to a life of slavery? it's a situation that has to be analyzed with so much empathy and compassion and that's exactly what morrison affords it

the secret garden / frances hodgson burnett / one of two other books i loved reading the most in undergrad (with the third one being north and south). i read this for a british literature class that i took at a time i was severely starting to doubt my degree again after having already gone through a really rough depressive period following jonghyun's death so it really opportunely entered my life. i remember reading the magic monologue towards the end and just crying and crying bc it felt so liberating and while the rest of my undergrad journey was not necessarily a total high i do think this helped comfort me a lot

tagging: @briarhips, @lateafternoonsunlight, @senorscotty, @dankovskaya & @infatuate !

[atomatowriter]

🌠🌌🌙

I can't tell what the shooting star one is but I think it might be comet so: Who is your most self destructive character? Why are they like that?

It's a tie between Zane (no current WIP) and Celin probably. Zane is very reckless and constantly getting himself in trouble for a number of reasons but partly because he's learned that the best way to get attention is to cause a scene. So he'll do dangerous shit to stand out and end up endangering himself. Celin is more careful and deliberate than Zane, but her Wisdom also requires her to hurt herself in order to help others. And she does want so, so badly to help everyone she can.

What is the character development like for your characters? So they change a lot or not much at all?

I usually like to play with the lie they believe. For instance, in Changeling WIP, Rhys struggles with constantly feeling unwanted and not feeling like he's enough. This is compounded when he learns that he is a changeling. One of the things that I want to play with is give him a situation where he is VERY MUCH wanted, but in all the wrong ways. I like to play with that in development, too. Showing characters a version of what they want but not the way they want it (Celin went through something similar in Wounds). And of course, his family, his brother especially - DOES love him, and part of his development is being able to recognize that.

It's very fun to me how one flaw that came up a lot in Wounds was Celin's indecisiveness, her fear of making a decision especially when it could impact other people. Over the course of the story, she learned to stick to her decisions with more confidence, and now in The Sequel, one of the things she struggles with is actually being a little too controlling (with good intentions; she feels like she's trying to do the things so the people around her don't have to, but obv it's still a flaw).

Do any of your character have to hide a part of themselves? Why?

That's a HUGE part of Celin as a character. Throughout Wounds, as she goes into court, she's so afraid of doing something wrong that would come back to her family or of exposing her grandmother. She also hides her anger, hides her pain, hides her capacity to be "a terror." She is an extreme people pleaser and she's very careful about the sides of herself that she shows anyone.

Space related asks!

[calumhoodgoss]

re: arzaylea accusing the friend group of racism or whatever, just reminded me of a phenomenon that I feel like you kinda have to live to understand but as a fellow aussie you'll probably get more than most: and it's that sydneysiders are fucking bullies

and i mean like insults being the norm, in ways that comes out to look like, for example, far worse racism than what actually happens, and there's a lot of lateral racism especially coming from poc but also that weird comradery of living in the same area too. same way in which queer and neurodivergent folk i grew up with use the worst slurs against both those groups but then are also out there tryna help it get better. idk, that's just what I grew up with and my area wasn't too dissimilar demographically from where they were, working class areas with people with a lot of generational baggage all trying to interact together. and if anyone wouldn't get it it's if you grew up a poc in the usa where conversations about activism happened a lot earlier and are a lot more performative, and from a rich family. like obv we haven't really been taking seriously anything she's said in that era (which on principle I hate treating anyone this way btw, but i'm also protective of luke and sometimes it's just not the time to pick apart everyone) and sometimes it's best to just move on from it all

but in case it does come up, I know this (what I've described above) isn't really the image they put out but 7-9 years ago they were a lot fresher out of oz and you can tell by the way they used to interact with each other. and i feel like i'm always defending the boys and yes there's always gonna be areas they're not exactly role models in but i've seen far too many 'racism' allegations that pick apart wordings of things said by them and their circle rather than look at the bigger picture culturally, and how we all come from a background of racism we're trying to unlearn collectively (which I feel like aussies get rn as we scramble to understand Indigenous rights and reconciliation) and then there's also the fact that no one ever acknowledges the fact calum's half Maori and it would impact him and his experience with all things colonialism and race. and they all do care about him, they care about sierra too--rant's almost over but i just wish we had better conversations about how to actually unlearn racism together rather than just accusing each other of being racist when it's like, no one's completely innocent but the only way things are ever gonna get better is if we all do the work as part of a movement and stop picking each other apart (especially in culturally insensitive ways) and infighting. anyway. disgruntled aussie I guess. i'll get back to real life activism and leave arzaylea alone

very interesting concept. i definitely agree to a certain extent that the cultural difference between American and Australian humour could not be bigger. i feel like over here (particularlyin middle to lower class groups), there is a general understanding between friends that things we say as jokes are not our true feelings on the matter. rather, we discern whether someone respects us through their actions and tone. we very much have a culture where everyone is on the chopping block, no matter what culture or hardship you have

i can totally understand though that these are not the same underlying nuances in America. and the boys not having known that could have said or done things that caused actual harm to people. was that their intent? probably not, but the result is what matters. i have no idea how those situations were handled or how those conversations went; but the least we can expect from them is that if they said something insensitive theyd own up to it and make a conscious effort not to make the same mistake again

yes its a cultural difference for sure, but it doesnt completely absolve them

i dont know the full situation and as you mentioned, arz has been widely accepted as an unreliable source. so who knows how they truly act and what their real attitudes are, but this is an interesting take and worth mulling over for sure

[forgottengodfrey]

ok so since the above we've uhhhh developed some of the stuff that's gonna impact these two alksdfjklsdjf i feel like godfrey is still hoping tho to -- should he learn of it, himself! -- expose valentina and cassimir's mistreatment of the og girls but yeah like i said...i don't think he at present knows anything abt that bc im just guessing BAHAHAHA but i doubt @forgottensebastian 's first move was to run and confide in not!uncle godfrey when he learned abt that hahaha but anyway if he ever did learn, he'd def make hayyyy w getting that out in the open! LOOK HOW THESE CRUEL INVADERS [don't think too much abt the fact that they're pre!roderick....] ARE TREATING EVEN THE NOBLEST ASTAIRANS, AND NOW EVEN FORCING THEM INTO MARRIAGE TO ESCAPE THIS VILE TREATMENT! RISE UP, ASTAIRA! FREE URSELF! etc

leaving that bit to the side for now tho, i def agree that godfrey ~will be taking in the terrain at least insofar as the og girls are beloved by astaira and the new ones are uhhhh noT lakjsdfkjdsf and w edmund already having a relationship there ( @forgottenedmund do you think edmund will tell his uncle abt what's going down there now re: the battle of m, etc? he'd deffff be looking to repair that! *facepalm* 'pls just be friends!!!!!! i need you all to be really put through the ringer/possibly die terribly w edmund as ur only defender here ok!!!!!!! lets repair this rn!!!!!' rosie probs: 'tristan and edmund are so nice why does his ~other uncle have weird energy rn/seem a lil ~too into our probs pre!doomed-anyway-from-the-v-start relationship????...oh well its probs just good intentions! wow, edmund's mom must be really nice that must be where they get it' heh ;D only ~kind of kidding ;DDDDD amira must just be so nice!!!1 laksjfkljdsfkjlsdf)

but anyway, as we've established, godfrey is here to help save them from the flames (yknow just as a favor to his brother and nephew!! and bc its the right thing to do and he's had enough!! def nothing nefarious here shh! ;DDD) and i def think he'll be wanting to put them out in front of rebeles he's cooking up to encourage them etc that yes we need to fight back or roderick will just keep burning defenseless, innocent women to death!!!!!!

and yes!!!! since edmund doesn't have a ~full sister, idk if this is how edmund actually feels or not hahaha but i do think godfrey will be making all kinds of noises abt how its roderick who is barring women from the throne!!!! but edmund truly believes they ought to be able to rule!!! etc etc and when he's stepped over his own older sister to claim his throne ;D he'll allow women such liberties!!! don't think abt this too much!! ;DDDD akjsfksdhafkjhsdf no, but tbf i ~do think there is a good bit of truth to what he says (godfrey ~is def of the school that you gotta have truth in there after all!!! it won't fly otherwise!!) bc like lbr if guin ~hadn't been born a girl, it probs wouldn't have occurred to roderick to wait to name an heir and yeahh that probs would've been clear from day one ngl!

yeah, ouch! arthur would DEF be hella hurt if eithne first rejects him for ~cassimir of all ppl, and then turns around and endorses edmund al;ksdjfkljsdf arthur: 'jeeze i didn't realizee you actually hated me all along' lkajsdfkljsdjf arthur, man, newsflash: ik ur tryin ur best but not everything is abt you, bud! ;laksjdflkjsdkfjsdf arthur: '??!!?!???!'

anyway, i do think godfrey does drop by malconaire when he's got a spare moment esp since he's doubtless noticed that edmund spends a lot of time there etc. i do think godfrey is a pr charming guy, and obv he's in a powerful position as both brother to amira and lord of hanthom in his own right as well as i think effectively running kolchis (tho idk that that's quite as big a job as it sounds bc bart's ofc overseeing the empire so gofrey's more like a...glorified governor kinda position than like a little king or anything like that, i just mean he's administering and so forth), etc, so im ~confident valentina, at least, is glad to see him (too bad he's already spoken for bc otherwise...he could be yet ~another sonya back up smdh)

for rosie's part, she is super eager that godfrey like her (unfortunately for her, godfrey emotionally tries to tune her out since she's an innocent he's gonna have to use! fortunately for her, he's VERY good at appearing ~to care!! rosie's sold!) since, obv, she's got smth going w edmund so she'd like all his relatives to like her etc, but edmund does seem to be esp close w godfrey etc so yeah! that relationship's big in her head! and i def think she's like 'pls be nice!' to her sisters since that all means a lot to her etc. i mean, idk that eithne needs anyone telling her to be kind to anyone HAHAHAHA but you know what i mean hahaha anyway, idk what eithne would think of ~any of that hahaha but yeah! there it is hahah

for his part, he's always super polite, tries to step in and save the girls from valentina and cassimir and their interference, is generally pr charming and kind, plus he's got edmund and tristan there to recommend them and, until eithne's unfortunate tea part expereince at the palace (godfrey: damn it, amira, why're you always ruining my plans!), i doubt anyone had met amira who uhhh def casts a cloud on that lil family unit lakjsdflkjsdfjksdf oh well l;akjsflkjsdkjf but yeah! that was a v, v long and involved way of asking...what do you think eithne generally makes of godfrey? lkjsadfakljsd

OOC | Godfrey & Eithne

eithne honestly deserves so much better and godfrey is sorry that all of this is happening to her!!! i kind of feel like, since godfrey wants to align astairan interests w edmund, he'd love to play up edmund's friendship w the malconaires and maybe even help them cast off the shackles of cassimir and valentina to make a public statement that way, but for that to be really dramatic, their servitude situation would have to be known about publically, (or else get much worse,) and im not sure if it is? but anyway, as a result, godfrey's simultaneously wishing both worse and then better for them so!! that's fun!! hahah w the hope of ultimately helping all astaira attain at least a modicum of liberty via emperor edmund lkadjsfjkdsf

[sayaberry]

finished magireco s3 and while i liveblogged it on my twitter i tried to summarize my thoughts here if you didn’t want to scroll through that (spoilers under the cut obvs)

the good:

they actively fixed the hospital tiro backstory so it not only flows better (ex: instead of alina showing up randomly when ui was turning into a witch she showed up bc she was hunting down kyubey bc he kept info from her) but it actually makes more sense now

animation was solid as per usual

speaking of animation the new transformations? great

i liked how even after remembering the whole truth touka and nemu still went ahead with their plan in order to save ui/iroha specifically, i think this was more in character for them compared to in game where they stopped the entire plan once they remembered

the mifuyu scene was really well done and thematically perfect for her character, as she is based on the bird catcher from galactic railroad, so what better way to showcase that by her saving the “birds” (magical girls) she lured into her “net” (magius) by “turning them into candy” (purifying them/giving them hope)

the stuff with mitama as well was really good too

OH and the rena/kaede stuff was great i love how rena finally found the words to tell kaede what she means to her (only took 3 seasons lol)

SPIN OFF CAMEOS I ACTUALLY YELLED SEEING TART AND KAZUMI

kuroe’s witch design is cool

i liked the speech iroha had with her doppel about hope (although i do wish anime iroha had more of game iroha’s development carried over as its less impactful, i don’t think its bad which is why im putting it here but i think it could've been better if she had it tbh)

i got my karin cameo :)

“NEO DOROTHY MOTHERFUCKER”

i was so absolutely right about godoka cameo-ing wow

the bad:

kuroe im so fucking sorry but im also not very surprised you got done dirty for what was ultimately sub-par character development for iroha

no seriously why was kuroe even THERE?? was her character only there for this moment of angst for iroha?? if so then wowww

why is momoko dead. no actually why tho. mifuyu i understand that i saw coming from like s1 but momoko??? why

why did alina’s plan change. like what was the point

i cannot believe they went ahead and killed the hospital trio, like touka and nemu i get BUT also ui?? wow

they kept holy alina (well. kinda) but no magical artist ost my biggest F

homura gets so screwed over in the end like actually tho im making another post about this (edit: i made the post here)

the ???:

touka is just like that bc she doom scrolls on twitter too much, incredible writing decision

“I AM THE RAGE OF MAGICAL GIRLS” bby ur 12 with a god complex

i find it extremely funny how now every spin off has been acknowledged before different story (excluding comedy spin offs and wraith arc for obvs reasons) what kinda monkey paw bs is this

given the final shots of the show im assuming that the anime is supposed to be the ‘bad’ end while the game timeline is the ‘true/good’ end? if this was the intention then props to shaft for having the balls to try and execute it (prob couldve been done better considering all the jp fans i saw giving out magireco app download links LMAO)

what the hell is going on with iroha at the end of the series no actually tho (EDIT: NEARLY 2 MONTHS LATER HERE IT IS)

[autumn-foxfire]

OH SHOOT!!! Now that I'm seeing my own ask and you answer it, do you think that was a bad response for Hawks?!?!? Oh my god. What if that's what gave him away. The fact that Hawks really could have been hanging out with Endeavor that day. Dabi knows he was expecting the attack to be tomorrow. Dabi KNOWS he was accusing Hawks to cover his own ass, but when Hawks confirmed it? That he was intending to bring Endeavor? (Not directly, but it's the same meaning. It was when Dabi says "we're both a little guilty" that they're now on the same level here, so talking is a little more safe, presumably. Though what Dabi's guilty of isn't what he sells it as. I can't tell if Hawks' "I thought you'd be thrilled to inflict that kind of damage on him" is meant to be read as him admitting Dabi was right in his assumptions or as a way to say "why are you angry at me over this? shouldn't you be happy you got to damage the No.1?" Both maybe.) It's also not the best line imo, because it implies Hawks was lowkey expecting the Nomu Dabi brought to be strong enough to damage Endeavor. But really honestly, I could give myself a headache going over the Pros and Cons of everything. This is why I'm not a spy, because everything that's a good save will always come with something someone can pry into if they overthink.

Anyways, back to what I was saying earlier. At that point, that was no longer a simple hangout Dabi intruded upon. It was a very real scheme, and tells him Hawks was planning this early. Of course it's understandable that even to bring someone "kinda strong" he'd need to lead them into it instead of just dragging someone there on the day of, but Dabi doesn't underestimate people once he knows they're clever. And Hawks couldn't exactly cover himself by saying he didn't let anyone die because he didn't know if this attack was because he got exposed or if it was Dabi's Nomu attacking, because he'd never seen it before. That would end up telling Dabi that Hawks is essentially saying he'll only let people die if it's a League attack aka to butter up to them, not in any other scenario where he'd be willing to risk lives just cause he's a corrupt hero tired of his job and wants to sincerely leave and join them + sure as hell can't mention his concern over being exposed! Obvs. These two's double crossing secret conversations are so riveting, you really have to psycho-analyze their words, which things they respond to, which claims from the other person they try to work around and ignore. It's so good but so frustrating for my poor brain lol

Dabi and Hawks were playing 5D chess while we are all just trying to understand XD Maybe we're giving them too much credit but I've always loved smart interactions between characters, battles of wits are just as entertaining as battles of strength.

It's interesting how much this single interaction told each other so much about the other and how that impacted their interactions going forward. I definitely think Hawks response gave away more of his intentions than he wanted to reveal but so did Dabi's.

Ah, this is reminding me why I loved Hawks and Dabi's dynamic.

[shreddedleopard]

Scene 1 - Erwin, Serum & Levi’s Dream

For @rivahisu107​

Okay, where to start. My apologies if these are very rambling!

So this is a scene very early on in my writing journey for AQR, appearing in chapter 5 - Consent - so my thoughts at this point were in many ways very different to how I feel now. I will say though that a lot of my intent for the sentiment of this scene hasn’t changed. So when I first came up with the idea of AQR as a story, I wasn’t necessarily very deeply into the Rivahisu ship. Don’t get me wrong - I’d toyed with pairing them together simply for the fact that they were both very aesthetically pleasing as a pairing, but it wasn’t deeper than that. Then I caught up with the manga and Hisu’s pregnancy had JUST been revealed and I thought hey, wow. Okay. Who’s the dad then? Because the farmer seemed like a deliberate red herring for me. But anyway, let’s not get into THAT debate right now lol. So I head online and do some googling, looking for some decent theories. I see the Eren stuff, I see other characters considered, but never Levi. And it surprised me. Because at that point, when we knew nothing past chapter 108 or so of the manga, I felt like there could be a plausible argument built for Dad Levi. AQR is basically the result of me wanting to explain why logically, logically, it could have been done, but not having the balls (at that point LOL) to write the theory out seriously, so I opted for FanFiction instead.

Um yeah sorry for that garbled explanation, but I feel like I needed to explain that first, because that brings me on to the point I wanted to make firstly about this particular passage. I’ve never really shipped Eruri, but I was completely drawn in by Levi and Erwin’s relationship from the get go, and even though I hadn’t poured over the manga with as finer detail as I have now, even then I think I understood the gravity of Levi’s choice and how it impacted him psychologically. Writing AQR was never about pushing any Rivahisu agenda (lol now I’m hooked obvs but still). It was about exploring a theory and seeing whether I could convince people that two unlikely characters could be romantically involved. I never really buy into the idea of one pairing the trumps the rest - I enjoy all the relationships between the characters for their own individual merits - and so throughout AQR, I wanted to explore Levi and Historia as people with real histories and complicated pasts, not just one-dimensional objects to pair with other one-dimensional objects and be done with it. 

Here I’m gonna be crazy and hold my hands up and say I essentially failed with this in terms of Historia (yeah the Levi simp in me gets the better of me sometimes HA) and this is why I started The Other Side of History - my attempt to give BOTH these characters the attention they deserve, rather than too much indulgence with Levi and not enough consideration of Historia’s past loves and losses.

Okay talk about the damn scene, Soron. Yes. Okay. Gotchu. 

I wrote Levi resisting, resisting, resisting this idea of Historia’s. Which, I still think, he would’ve. But I needed a reason for him to change his mind. I knew Levi’s inner compassion had to be the thing that would win out in the end, and he’d do it for Historia herself. So I needed something to trigger this sort of, protective reaction in him. And when I thought back to moments where Levi had to make choices before, and compassion won out over logic, of course Erwin and Shiganshina and the serum came to mind. I wanted to combine that image for him but also bring Historia into it, so the idea of this dream came to me. 

I think Levi of course retains a lot of trauma inwardly from that day, so seeing Erwin with that serum again would immediately cause an emotional response from him. But also, I needed Levi to be shown the direct consequences of his choice, and what better man to do it than Erwin himself - the man Levi trusted and respected above all. Erwin was never a man Levi could simply brush off - so the crux of the dream, while it evokes lots of haunting imagery from Levi’s past, was to have Erwin hold Levi directly responsible for the consequences of the choice he was going to make with Historia. Of course, it’s not Levi’s fault that Historia has put him on the spot and made him responsible for this choice, but then, didn’t Levi do the exact same thing to her, back when he told her to either take the throne or run away? Both of them once again being burdened by their bloodlines - Historia’s makes her royal and so the only one who could have taken the throne, Levi’s gives him super strength and makes him the perfect choice to father an heir. They put one another on the spot because of their ancestry. 

We see Levi come face to face with the idea that if he doesn’t act and make the right choice, Historia will very likely be turned into a titan. It’s the dilemma on the rooftop all over again, except this time, Levi doesn’t actually have to sacrifice anyone’s humanity in favour of another’s. He has to commit to bringing new life into the world, and that itself should save Historia from the fate of becoming a monster. 

The irony is, Levi’s choice actually never prevented Historia’s destiny, in the end. (But don’t worry - things will work out as they should!)

This I think makes Erwin’s words to Levi all the more important - Don’t regret your decision, Levi. 

[shoyouth]

Hey you’re writing is really cute and I saw your hcs for a mc with a girlfriend and I really loved it! Do you think you can do a ikevamp suitors react to a transgender mc? One who was born female but identifies as a man? Lgbqt otome fans don’t get enough love so I’d be super awesome if you could write something ❤️

Hello darling!! I’m so sorry this took me a month or so to get to, but I’m glad to be doing it now! I also had an ask for a non-binary!mc but since I feel like all the suitors would treat the two similarly, I’ll be trying my best to fit it into one/accommodate both here :) hope you enjoy, love! Please lmk if anything sounds sketchy/offensive, since I don’t have experience with this myself!

napoleon ; okay. You stare at him dumbstruck bc he’s not taken aback for a moment, he just shrugs and then asks if you want to spar. I feel like he’d treat you v similarly to issac and jean even if you are his lover, bc there’s a v specific respect and care he treats those two with, a way he looks out for them. Would never falter with your pronouns, and if anyone makes a comment he’s like?? Your point?? They’re obv a man/non-binary, idk how you’re seeing a woman. He would also never hesitate to draw out his sword if anyone dared to grow a little too bold/rude.

arthur ; handsome ol’ chap! absolutely slathers you in compliments to validate your identity and make you feel confident, you almost wonder if he likes the way calling you by your pronouns rolls off his tongue. Though he normally was into women, I don’t think he would be opposed to dating you at all, and would grow icy with others who made comments about your relationship. He’s be very vocally supportive, but his teasing compliments will take a softer, more sincere turn if you ever need him to remind you that you’re valid.

mozart ; I see him helping you fix up your appearance ngl? Like not spending a bunch like comte, but silently aiding you in how to appear/act manly/non-binary for the 1800s, such as fixing/trimming your hair into a more “fashionable” look for the times, or nonchalantly informing you that your sleeves should be a little longer. He doesn’t do this to invalidate you at all! He thinks it’s a more subtle way of helping you feel confident navigating their world in your own way. Never hesitates to inform you that you look rather dashing that evening, or to run his finger along your chin with a proud/loving gaze in his eyes.

leonardo ; he’s immortal, he’s heard many a things that haven’t been considered ‘the norm’ for the times. He just kind of nods and takes a step back to admire your face, saying that your features are beautifully androgynous/masculine. If you bind your chest, he’ll frown if you suggest using a kind of corset, and will instead get to work tinkering a more comfortable and safe binding for you to use. Always refers to you as your desires pronouns, and corrects anyone who uses incorrect ones nonchalantly. He likes that he can get away with certain things with you that normal het couples wouldn’t be able to.

vincent ; I think he’d be intrigued and easily adapt to your pronouns; he’d treat you with respect regardless. He’s probably heard of transgender/non-binary before, but I think he, like leo, would spend a lot of time admiring your face and the way you present yourself. Will constantly compliment you, but unlike arthur, it’s not to fluster you or subtly make you feel confident, but bc he keeps finding things about you to be in awe of. You’ll be a very common subject in his sketches and paintings because of the way you hold yourself.

theo ; His brows raise a bit, but they lower just as quickly and he accepts it. You almost think he doesn’t care/remember bc he always calls you a dog instead of your name/pronoun, but he instantly corrects anyone who uses the wrong one, and glares at anyone who gives you shit. If you ever get down on yourself for your appearance not matching your identity, he sternly sits you down and firmly lists everything about you he finds beautiful and fitting to what you want to be. And though it wasn’t his intention, you never fail to grow flustered bc of the little details he’s picked up on, due to the nature of his job rubbing off on his own perceptiveness.

issac ; A little flustered boy. Similar to jean, I think he’d have the right attitude but be a bit clumsy about it. He doesn’t want to offend you! Ofc being trans/a man/non-binary doesn’t matter, he just loves you, but he’s anxious and overthinks how he address you, how he acts around you. Should he not call you petnames? Are those considered feminine? Am I invalidating them by using them?? He just grows stiff and nervous and you have to remind him to breath: just use the correct pronouns and respect you, there’s not much else to it. After a while he relaxes and it comes easier, but he just doesn’t want to lose someone else he loves of his own doing.

dazai ; I will admit he’s a little hard to grasp for me, but I believe that elusiveness is a part of his character anyways lol. Nothing about how he perceives you changes. You’re still you, aren’t you? Doesn’t matter what gender you are, what name you go by, what appearance you have. Maybe his nickname for you will change, but that’s it. I feel like with him you may not even be aware of your gender/it’s impact, bc when you’re with him it doesn’t matter, so you feel light and free from having to think about/act like your identity. You’re just you.

jean ; I think he would be open-minded to it, albeit confused. If you took the time to explain to him what you identify as and what it means, he’ll accept it, not one for many questions. I personally believe he’d be awkward about it a bit?? But would never treat you wrong! I mean in the sense of those clumsy lgbtq+ supporters with the right attitude, if that makes sense lol? So unsurely asking if you’d like to spar...? Or constantly looking to you for confirmation on things you like, what you do, etc etc. Ik jean is supposed to be silent and intimidating, but I imagine him as a clumsy man whose seen too much and doesn’t know how to act bc he was robbed of a childhood, so yeah hopefully this makes sense!

comte ; he’s seen even more than leonardo bc he’s immortal and timetravels; it doesn’t phase him. Tbh he just beckons you to come shopping with him so he can find you the latest male/androgynous fashion, with charming suits and coats and hats. For binding, he’ll try his best to buy you a safe kind, or he may enlist Leonardo’s help or even go to the future to find you one—nothing is too much/expensive when it comes to you. Will always treat you right/like royalty, and remind you that you’re valid and anything you need to feel that way, he will make it so. Gets a v dangerous look in his eye if someone disrespects you.

sebastian ; he’s from the future, so nothing new. Honestly he may even be relieved?? Idk he’s just so formal and polite that I think he’d feel more relaxed with another masculine/non-binary individual from the future, bc he would be able to talk in a certain way he would feel wasn’t as “proper” with a woman, if I’m making sense? He’d have no problem refering to you as your identity, and will always find a way to make you feel comfortable/valid, even if he needs to try and sew his own version of a binder for you.

shakespeare ; okay I’m sorry for those who like shakespeare but I feel like he’d lowkey fetishize it oof. Just like how I think he’d use unrequited love of a lesbian!mc to fuel his plays, he’d think of you as interesting inspiration—at first, at least. He’d run his hand through your hair, down your lapels as he admires you, amused, and it’s only if you grew cross and forced him to see you as your identity/a person, that he may fix his unhealthy perception. After reading Vincent’s route, I’ve come to think that you really need to push against him to reach his actual feelings/past his unstable/dangerous side. Once he’s over that, he would love to cast you as male roles in his plays, bc you have even more conviction than the regular men tbh.

[spiderman616]

hm well i dont think i agree on some of these i do think scourge and fiona dont have the best most healthiest relationship but i think theyre generally communicative and gel well together (as of the end of lockdown since thats when we see them last, there are seeds of conflict it seems but nothing presently) i do think the joker/harley quinn comparison is disingenuous to both their characters though scourge is linked with the joker a lot because they made him say that one line but it was frankly delivered with much less of an impact and id go as far to say that was intentional because the subsequent scourge arc was ultimately all about showing HOW exactly scourge was wrong and picking apart his own image. also i dont think scourge would be abusive in a relationship frankly hes obv not the best boyfriend for anyone to have but if anything he would be pretty lackadaisical. however i do think he has a good enough dynamic with fiona where he trusts her pretty well (or at least as well as scourge can trust anyone) if anything probably fiona would be the first to doubt him since he turned down her suggestion to work for finitevus at the end of lockdown. but again as of current i dont think any of that would be shown externally i know they were planned to split down the line before the reboot which there were a few hints at but again i see it as moreso a conflict over differing goals rather than anything along the abuse track

qannna talk with me about archir sonic

Sure, lol. I'm up for it!

[cattles-bians]

Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

[kosakawalterwhite]

On Komaeda’s Love Confession

The official translation for the final line of Komaeda’s free time events is as follows:  “I love...the hope sleeping inside of you from the bottom of my heart.” 

If you’ve been in the fandom for at least a week you’ve probably already seen the line being the most cited piece of evidence of Komaeda having a crush on Hinata. You may have also seen it being used as a counterpoint, because obv he just said he loves his hope, bruh. However, something that’s also often brought up is that this line is a mistranslation, and that in the original Japanese text, Komaeda was originally addressing Hinata as a person, but switched the direct object over to his hope at the last second. When the localization first came out this was actually a major complaint among Komahina shippers, as one can see if they look at the official video for Komaeda’s free time events on YouTube. This is backed up by fan translations of the line before the game was even released to international audiences, such as here and here. 

Is this true? The fan translations are definitely more accurate than the NISA version, but does that mean they’re entirely correct in conveying the intent themselves? 

My answer: ...Probably? 

Now, this isn’t going to be questioning whether Komaeda is in love with Hinata outside of haha hope big sexy, because even without this line, there’s a ton of evidence to support that yes, it is more than that. I’d argue that one doesn’t even have to do the free time events to see this. What I am going to be talking about is the line itself, because let me tell you, it’s a fucking bitch. 

I 100% agreed with the general consensus that this is undoubtedly an aborted love confession for about like, five years. However, one thing that has led to a little bit of doubt is that the line is rarely talked about among the Japanese fandom- in fact, just like the official translation, the “aborted” part is often skipped over when quoting it. I want to chalk it up to the change being incredibly subtle, which it is, but I’m not fully certain. Let’s break down the line itself: 

Obviously, before beginning to explain this, I should clarify that unlike English, the basic sentence structure in Japanese goes Subject-Object-Verb, and nouns are usually marked with specific particles indicating their role. 

In this case, the subject is Komaeda himself, and the object is something related to Hinata, referred to naturally as “you” (キミ) since he’s talking directly to him. キミの中に眠る希望 promptly translates to “the hope sleeping inside of you.” 

Now, direct objects in Japanese are marked with the particle を, which are attached right after the noun. Looking at the screenshot above, you can see that it’s initially attached to just the plain “you,” but is then attached to a full on possessive phrase before he can get the verb in. Based on this, it seems like everything’s set: he was initially going to refer to Hinata, but likewise, switched it to his hope- something Komaeda has already expressed his love for in the past (though not Hinata’s specifically, just everyone in general), and in a non-romantic way too (no, komaeda was never romantically/sexually attracted to hope in SDR2. rather, he likes it in the “using religion as a coping mechanism” way. you can blame dr3 for the hopesexual interpretations). 

However, that’s not the only way this line can be translated. In fact, it’s also common in Japanese for two direct objects to simply function as “and.” Komaeda isn’t exempt from this. Here’s an example: 

(sorry for the youtube cutout)

“I said that I love you all who embody hope...and those wonderful talents, from the bottom of my heart.”

Again, it’s the same structure, both “you all who embody hope” and “those wonderful talents” are marked with を, and not only that, but there’s the presence of the ellipses after the former, just like in the free time event. It’s also worth mentioning that 心から愛してる (from the bottom of my heart) is used in this line as well, drawing another similarity. I don’t think these lines are meant to parallel each other at all, more like it’s just how Komaeda speaks, but it’s definitely worth noting. 

If this is the way the original line was meant to be interpreted, then it would more or less be “I’m in love with you...and the hope sleeping inside of you...from the bottom of my heart.” This isn’t necessarily a new idea either. It’s how his confession in the manga (which in Japanese is the exact same line), is translated into English was well. 

So, does this mean that Komaeda just loves him and his hope equally, as if the two are inherently connected? I personally don’t think so. After all, a commonly forgotten factoid is that in the very same event, Komaeda tells Hinata he never sensed a talent (ergo “hopeful”) aura from him in the first place (and he seems to be happy with this, too), so I’m rather inclined to pass it off as a generic Komaeda-ism rather than a serious mark on his character. That being said, there’s also still an “aborted” feel to it. The “hope sleeping inside of you” part sort of feels like something tacked on in order to lessen the impact of his own words, though I don’t know, I can’t say for sure. That’s just what I’m getting from Ogata’s delivery of the line, which is also open to subjective takes.

Nevertheless, this still leaves open holes. If Komaeda so blatantly said that he loved Hinata specifically, then why doesn’t this part of the line make it into his report card? It’s simply cited as ボクはキミの中に眠る希望を心から愛してると with no regard to the initial キミを, which indicates that Hinata didn’t even pick up on it in the first place (or maybe, he just doesn’t want to acknowledge it because it’d be too hard for him. still, as interesting as this view is, it’s not supported by anything in his internal monologue). 

What translation appropriately conveys the meaning of the sentence structure? I can’t say for sure. Either way, it’s a really fickle line, and I don’t blame NISA for flubbing on it. I just wanted to share these thoughts to other Komahina shippers on tumblr because I find it really interesting. 

Also, as a bonus: On the use of 愛してる (aishiteru) 

Many people seem to have this idea that this word is like, the strongest expression of romantic love ever. And while that’s true, it’s not because it implies a “deeper” love, but because it’s extremely bold and cheesy. Most love confessions, especially in things like anime, use 好き (suki) or 大好き (daisuki) instead, and it doesn’t make them any less important or genuine. It’s just how normal people usually talk. Komaeda actually uses these two terms instead of aishiteru in his confession to Hinata in his Drama CD, just an fyi. 

Also, the word isn’t necessarily romantic either. Like, when I was in Japan, my host mother just like casually said it to a friend as a goodbye as we were leaving her house. Likewise, Komaeda using it in this line isn’t what indicates that his feelings for Hinata are necessarily deeper or romantic than his “feelings” for everyone else, because if you’ve noticed before, he uses the same word to describe his love for hope, talent, and even Junko at the end of DR:AE. If anything, what it’s supposed to say about Komaeda is that he’s really embarrassing and overdramatic in expressing his emotions. It’s honestly just kind of dorky. 

[zenosanalytic]

Harrow the Ninth: Wordplay and Implication

So I started reading Harrow the Ninth last night(haven’t gotten far; I’m only on page 47), but some interesting stuff cropped up I wanted to yack about. Explaining it requires some Serious Spoilers tho, so don’t read past this point if you haven’t reader further than me and are also avoiding ...spoilers... X|

Ok so: Harrow is obvsl going through some Things. To begin with she seems to be having some manner of psychological break exacerbated by(possible caused by) the Lyctor transformation? A huge part of it is obvsl grief over Gideon -she seems to be avoiding any memory or thought of her and this mental block seems to be impacting her ability to access Gideon’s soul and thus her full Lyctor capabilities- but she’s also overwhelmed by her new senses and her inability to feel physical pain, and a bit unstuck in time? Some of that just might be her grief-driven illness, but so far there’s been some jumping around in the timeline/her memories so it’s possible this is also a side-effect of the Lyctor transformation and existing on both sides of life and death.

Anyway, there’s some nifty wordplay associated with all of this :>

the first one is in an edited memory, and it’s right at the start of it, in the chapter-title for said memory: “Parodos”.

Now most obvsl, that looks&sounds allot like “parody” and, while they aren’t directly related, the connection btwn the two is STILL intriguing: “parody” comes from para(side/beside/parallel) and oide(song), in the sense of a comical/mocking “parallel” to another song; parodos literally means entrance, though specifically it’s the name of a SIDE-entrance in greek theater-design which gave actors access to the stage, or the chorus access to the orchestra, BUT ALSO it was the name of the song(oide) the chorus sung upon first entering the play, coming after the prologue. The connection to an actual side-entrance makes me suspect the “par-” phoneme is from “para”, but I can’t find a constituent breakdown of “parodos” so it’ll have to remain a suspicion :T

Regardless: it is, in the manner of a proper parodos(even IF Harrow, here, is her own Chorus; this is a 3rd person perspective section), seeming to introduce us to the central conflict of the tale; Harrow is censoring Gideon from her mind, altering her perceptions and capacities in response to her grief, struggling with feelings that she is LOSING her mind(associated with, possibly embodied by, her “hallucinations” of The Body[1]), and clinging to this expression of control as a life-raft among all this trauma. At one point The Body even appears in this memory just to tell her it didn’t happen like this which “gave Harrow a curious strength”.

IntriguinglyER(and this is more of a stretch and idk if Muir really intended this implication) parodos is often popularly confused with/assumed to be related to “parados” which is a fortification embankment built to protect the rear of a military position(it’s basically the backside equivalent of parapet. Parapet=forward, parados=behind). What makes this intriguinger to me(aside from the fun of a FALSE pun for a FALSE memory :p), is that the false memory is part of Harrow’s mental DEFENSES, and in it she asks Ortus Nigenad to PROTECT her by keeping the secret that she is “insane” because, since opening the Locked Tomb and seeing the girl trapped there, she’s been experiencing full-spectrum sensory hallucinations of said girl(ie: seeing her, speaking with her, feeling The Body[the girl] touch her, the whole hog, etc etc). I feel like this is MOSTLY symbolic though, and the REAL secret she’s asking him to protect her from is Gideon’s death(and her “consumption” there of; since becoming a Lyctor The Body has had Gideon’s amber-colored eyes). Of course there’s another aspect to this and one of two OTHER potential secrets; Gideon’s body wasn’t recovered from Canaan House, Harrow does not seem to be in “possession” of her soul(though she does have SOME aspects of Lyctor abilities, so perhaps it’s partial or a connection?); so

it’s possible the SECRET Harrow is actl using Ortus to protect is that Gideon isn’t dead, that they healed her after defeating Cytherea and somehow undid the Lyctor process. OR

They’re keeping Gideon’s existence a secret for some reason

Now I think these are a bit out there theorywise because, while I’m not far into the book, I’m fairly certain that it’s only Harrow who is thinking Nigenad was her cavalier at this point. I mean: the Emperor would have spoken to Ianthe, and there’s no reason why she’d keep Gideon’s existence secret(also everytime the Emperor says Ortus Nigenad it’s attached to a description of his mouth moving oddly, so I’m fairly certain he’s actl saying Gideon Nav and her brain’s editing it to Ortus Nigenad to spare her facing Gideon’s death). Also and SUPER tellingly there’s this passage:

The Resurrecting King took on the expression of a man working out a very difficult and emotionally taxing anagram. He said, “Ortus,” again, but the bile was sputtering up into your throat...”

Now that just seems like an INVITATION to see what Ortus Nigenad can be an anagram of, doesn’t it? And, INCREDIBLY OBVIOUSLY it’s a partial anagram:

Ortus Nigenad

Gideon

Of Gideon’s name. Partial, because it doesn’t include “Nav”, and also there are these left-over letters

rtusna

Hmmm... What can THAT be an anagram of?

rtusna

Saturn

Well flog me with a spoon! I have NO IDEA what this, GIDEON SATURN, could POSSIBLY mean in the context of this convo or of the larger story(also: maybe this anagrams to other words? I honestly didn’t try too hard after this very obvs one. AtRSun??? Taurns?? OF COURSE Harrow would play Horde if she played WoW, but I’d imagine she’d’ve been a Forsaken Warlock, or Orc one at the very least :p), but that we have a character’s name being called an anagram by the narration and then that character’s name turns out to BE AN ANAGRAM of the first book’s, now(mysteriously[2]?) absent, protagonist plus the planet Saturn[3], seems an awful coincidence. Of course that doesn’t mean it ISN’T a Coincidence, nor that it means anything in relation to the story even if it IS intentional; it could be meant to throw off theorycrafters, or just as something Muir thought would be fun to do(making Gideon Nav, “the greatest cav the Ninth ever produced”, a near-anagram with Ortus Nigenad, one of it’s worst). Of course, it could also be a hint to Gideon’s origins, or where she/her body is now. For what it’s worth, I seem to recall the big contenders for her origins were Third through Fifth House, and those seem to be the most likely to be the Gas Giants&GG Moons(Third’s the wealth-house, and there’s probably more concentrated resources in Jupiter and Saturn than on any other planet in the solar system. And, for whateverMORE it’s worth, Saturn WAS the Roman god of wealth&the harvest. If Mars’s ...Martial[X| X|]... associations are a firm enough basis for its guess in the order, then why not Planet Fucking Saturn? Of course the trident theme suggests Neptune, but why in the cosmos would THAT be the third colonized planet in the system? Makes no damn sense |:T |:T).

The last thing(two things?) that I wanted to bring up, though it’s not really related to any of the above, is Alecto, the name for the next book. Presumably, this is The Body/The Girl. Alecto means “Implacable/Unceasing Anger”, and it is the name of one of the Erinyes; the Furies; the goddesses and purveyors of Vengeance. The Furies, according to Hesiod, were born from the blood of Ouranos spilled when Kronos castrated him. Interestingly, the way Necromancy works in this universe(as explained in these early pages) is that the Cohort “breaches” a planet, after which point its “thalergy”(life energy; presumably metabolism-produced energy since necros aren’t snacking on ambient heat&light) begins converting to “thanergy”(death energy, tho it’d be more precise to call it the energy generated by the detachment of a soul from a body), which Necros can use to do Necromancy. The microbiology within a planet’s soil can similarly be drained, as can the animals and plants, and the process of “breaching” allows Necros to draw on the thalery/thanergy of all of these. So Necromancy is a metaphor for environmental/planetary destruction&exploitation. Kronos is a harvest-god(his name is obscure, but probably means something like “the cutter” or “the striker”); Ouranos is the sky(probably a raingod with a name related, hilariously, to the verb for “to piss” :p :p), but at the same time still a planetary deity. Coincidentally, the primary antagonists so far in the book are “Resurrection Beasts” which seem to have been created by The Emperor Necrotising the Nine planets of Dominicus, and who have been pursuing him and his Lyctors to destroy them for this/for becoming Lyctors(Lyctordom is legit called “the indelible sin” by the Emperor himself) ever since. Sounds allot like the Furies, doesn’t it?

In this context, the Kronos Ouranos myth can be read as a story of planetary exploitation/injury(caution: I am NOT saying that’s the intended meaning of the myth originally, just that it is a possible application of it as a lens of analysis[it being referenced by the series through Alecto] to this story), and THAT suggests that Alecto, the Fury, may have been associated with this initial Necrotization(The Resurrection/Nine Resurrections, which SEEMS given what little I’ve read so far to be what they call the initial Necrotization of the Nine planets of the Sol System? Though maybe they were already Necrotized&all used up, and the Emperor revitalized them somehow?? I’m not sure yet), may be something instanced to stop it, or may be a “Resurrection Beast” herself; perhaps the initial form they took before 10k years of thwarted rage pushed them to become more monstrous. Alternately, I wonder if Alecto might be a manifestation or servant of Death? There’s a repeated focus on the Emperor having “defeated” Death, and The Body in the Locked Tomb is repeatedly referred to as a foe he defeated once but could not defeat again, so there are good reasons to disregard all the mythological trappings and focus on the clearer, less metatextual possibility.

Of course: it’s probably none of this and I’m just spinning Fantasy wholecloth from between my entirely metaphorical ears :p :p :p

[1]The Body is The Girl in the Locked Tomb which Harrow fell in love with. I’ll get to why this is relevant very soon after this footnote

[2]I mean we watched her force Harrow into Lyctorship by killing herself, so I’m still more convinced this is all trauma response. Her corpse IS MISSING, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t super-dead. Though: Camilla and Palamedes DID have a contingency, and Gideon DID wink at Harrow post-Lyctoring, and it was ambiguous if this was her impaled body or her spirit/hallucination doing the winking, so I can see ppl running with this theorywise...

[3]which is one of the Houses, obvsl(or at least it’s moons), though I’m only really confident on Sixth House(Mercury), Ninth House(Pluto), and 2nd House(Mars) at the moment. Seventh House is PROBABLY Venus, giving all its connections to poison, wasting disease, and Aphrodite(Cytherea is another name of the goddess), but that’s all just thematic suggestion. Oh also, I figured I should throw this in here given the large digression on Kronos and Uoranos, Kronos is Saturn’s Greek equivalent(or at least, the Romans considered him so).

[astrarche-x]

The Poppy War: thoughts

Context: I saw this book heavily recommended on tumblr and even though I didn't research it (to avoid spoilers), it looked like something for me. I also realized recently that I haven't read a modern high fantasy in a while, so when my friend told me "hey, I've read this book and need someone to rant about it with", I was like "sure can I borrow it?". It is worth noting that my friend's tone was rather disapproving and we mostly share our taste in books, but still, I approached The Poppy War with a very favourable mindset.

Which didn't last very long.

Fortunately, after some time the book got better, so: disapproval first, praise later.

- the first part, aka Rin's time in academia, was so predictable and cliche I went through it purely out of malice (to be able to roast it). It was fitting every cliche you can find in a books set at school and bore me to death.

- Jiang: aaaa. This is coming from my personal experiences, but I've had a hard time with my "cool but weird" teacher lately and I just can't get past this trope without being angry at writers who do not acknowledge how toxic it usually is. (tho in Jiang's case it was more or less ok) Also the reveal of his backstory was very predictable.

- Rin: i couldn't bear how "edgy" she was. I started to like her when the actual war begun and she turned from "i'm not like others lol" to "i'm so scared, i want to be safe. also what is sleep". (also because she has been a chaotic mess the whole time and the war actually made it more believable). I had issues with her character though - for example she comes to the academia when she's like 15/16 and even though a lot happens to her over the course of the action, i had a feeling she hasn't actually matured. Did she develop? In terms of abilities, knowledge, rage etc - yes. But I didn't think she was more mature at the end and it really bothered me (as i was still picturing as a 15-year-old and had to constantly remind myself that she's an adult now).

- self-harm: uuh handled in a weird way? It's obvious that Rin's self-harming to cope with stress in academia is not healthy and the context shows that the heroine is under immense pressure which has a bad effect on her, but the narrative seems to present self-harm as a necessity to manage life and never really condemns it - not only explicitly, but any negative consequences of it are also absent.

- this book (and Grishaverse) would be more enjoyable if I hadn't taken that basic Russian course. I cringed every time I read Kitay's name (and it appears quite often...). Literally why name your character China? It's such a bad idea...

- I don't know if the original edition has trigger warnings, but oh boy, i kinda wish Polish one had them too. Not that they would actually stop me from reading this, but I started this book with intent to get some nice escapism with a tad of intellectual challenge and I wasn't quite prepared for what I got. I saw a post that talked about how in fantasy or sci-fi wars are a thing that just happens and serve more as a plot device, but are not treated as like an actual tragedy and how this isn't the case for The Poppy War. I think this is a very good point and I very much agree with this but I wish this book was marketed in a more accurate way (with mention of the genocides) than "cool protagonist goes from poor orphan to badass" (almost literal description from the back cover).

- on genocides: the Golyn Niis part was so hard to read. It totally gave me flashbacks to the time when we talked about Shoah in Polish lessons in high school and I had to read like 4 short stories by Tadeusz Borowski about Auschwitz, one novella by Zofia Nałkowska about investigating Nazi crimes and one book about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising by Hanna Krall & Marek Edelman* (and it was all in the span of like 1-1,5 month) - all of which were written by survivors of said events, so it was an extremely difficult and emotionally exhausting read. Parts of The Poppy War had the same effect on me, so it shows the author really did her research and is to be appreciated, although while I would like to know what happens plot-wise in the next parts of the trilogy, I think it would be too emotionally draining for me to read.

- Having said all this, I found the Speer genocide theme really interesting. The legends and propaganda surrounding it, its impact on both country politics and Altan's (and Rin's) personal stories... Also I really liked how Rin's perception and understanding of it changed. Plus it served really well as a backstory - its effect on the whole plot was huge and manifesting in unexpected places but without the feeling of being hammered into reader's head.

- Altan: that guy. He was an interesting character, but a very unlikeable one. He was such an asshole... (And yeah obvs still trauma and all that but he really was one). Also I found it confusing that at the end of the book Rin was like "omg his power is so strong because he's fueled by revenge!"... duuh? It was obvious since her convo with Jiang about lore students?

- But generally Rin's relation to Altan was for me one of the strong points of this book. I'd say that Rin's emotions regarding him were very realistically written - admiration, longing for approval, the feeling of similarity, anger, frustration about his expectations, the need to rise to the challenge he posed, to be his equal... And then the shock as he fell from the pedestal she constructed; the understanding, the pity and the sadness. I loved how complicated that was and that we as readers got to see that Rin's Altan and the actual Altan were two different persons, even though the narrative is close to Rin's POV.

- Chaghan: he was my fave character. This is, again, personal, but works of fiction work 200% better for me if the characters are well-written - which The Poppy War rather lacked: few characters were interesting and even less were likeable. Chaghan was both - maybe he didn't have a big arc and was rather a secondary character, but he was intriguing, had that close bond with Altan (I ship them) and also was the most competent person in the cike (Quara was the second one). He was very straightforward and had that no-bullshit attitude, but unlike Rin, Altan etc., what he said and his actions actually made sense. So every time he had to went away from the main character I was devastated...

- What I really enjoyed about this book was the parts about shamanism. I'm not an expert about what goes on in modern fantasy, but I have a feeling that a character of a shaman often appears in a very exoticised way (wonder why is that /s), whereas in this book it was treated seriously and was a basis for a great magic system. 9/10 very original take, highly recommend.

* books mentioned: "Medaliony" by Zofia Nałkowska, "Zdążyć przed panem Bogiem" (eng: Shielding the flame) by Hanna Krall & Marek Edelman, Pożegnanie z Marią by Tadeusz Borowski

[moonlightstars16]

Chapter 10 ~ Lost From Within

Announcement: Since we are halfway to twenty chapters, I am going to take a break from posting for a couple of weeks(possibly after chapter 11 next week..maybe). I need time to catch up and write out the rest of the story. My focus has mainly been on other writing projects and one-shot requests. So this fanfic needs some much needed love. I want to thank you all for those who love and support this story. I enjoy reading the comments and seeing what each and every one of you have to say. Don't worry I'm not giving up on this story. I just need a break so I don't burn out and leave it incomplete.

I also want to quickly add that twenty chapters is the goal. Doesn't mean I'll stop there however...well hopefully.

Love yall lots! Enjoy!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The courtyard was full of lined path bushes, trees and many flowers. Insects were crawling, flying and helping the nature surrounding them. Connie at first wondered how this was possible, then Peridot had explained that Steven had ordered a few gems to retrieve things like this back on earth. She and many other gems like herself were ordered to replicate earth's nature. It wasn't too difficult to manage. Though was mainly an excuse to annoy the Diamonds out of spite. However glancing up at Steven, for the part of his face she could see, something in her gut told her he liked it more than he let on.

Her gaze moved from his face to their entwined hands. Through the leather gloves she still felt the warmth between them. It made her blush a little as she looked away. Suddenly she felt him stop, following suit as her eyes followed where Steven was looking.

"Here we are." Connie gasped at the sight before her. The view of the pavilion was beautiful. Circular and well hidden yet also stood out amongst the Garden. A small river with a bridge laid beside it. What laid underneath the roof was a array of foods and a table setting. Along with candelabras everywhere.

"It's beautiful..." Feeling her hand being pulled forward she quickly followed him over the bridge and under the pavilion. He gestured for her to sit as he did the same. The scent of all the gourmet stuff before them truly was intoxicating. "I don't understand."

"Well then that makes two of us." Steven spoke having opened what appeared to be a wine bottle and poured them both a glass. So much so that the sound pulled Connie out of her thoughts from his comment.

"Oh I don't-"

"There is no alcohol in this, I assure you." Once finished he set the wine bottle down before gracefully picking up his glass. Smirking a tad before gesturing her to do the same. After a moment Connie picked her's up, trying to imitate how others back on earth held a glass of wine. It felt weird for her to do so but since there was no alcohol, she supposed there wasn't any harm. After they clinked their glasses, she brought hers upon her lips. Allowing the smooth, cool and tasteful drink in her mouth and down her throat.

"Thank you." Steven had taken another sip before leaning back a tad in his chair. Watching as she set her's down gently on the table. The glow of the candlelight and fireflies illuminated her beauty. Still he had to focus on why he brought her here in the first place. For the next few moments they sat in silence. The sounds of silverware tapping their plates and crickets echoed in the background. He almost hardly ate a thing, watching her the entire time. Wondering why ti was her that caused him the most confusion recently. After awhile, as he wiped his hands with the cloth napkin and she dabbed her lips with er own, he spoke up. Finally getting to the point of there little get together.

"You have many questions for me." Her gaze met his immediately at his statement, reassuring that what he said was correct.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to ask any questions." Her tone full of subtle sarcasm.

"Perhaps that was so, however it would appear things have changed." He swirled the glass slightly, watching as drops of the red liquid stuck to the inside; as if bleeding upwards. "I have told you of...him." The expressions on her face turned from a cloud of confusion, to clear and transparent realization of what he was implying.

"Yes... I'm assuming he looks like you." He chuckled slightly before setting the glass down.

"In a way yes, however you have seen him before..." Connie tilted her head as her brows furrowed in confusion. When it suddenly struck her. Images of Steven turning pinkish red flashed through her mind. Her eyes widened as she pieced it together.

"That was him, wasn't it...."

"Ah, you finally made the connection, well somewhat actually."

"What do you mean somewhat?"

"The physical image of him is what you saw. But he hardly has any emotion without me." He folding his hands together on the table. Connie looked down at her own hands contemplating all he gave so far.

"Then what he spoke to me... the emotion came from you, the human half of you." His smirk faded as her narrowed his eyes slightly, using his power to not let the blush he was feeling show. Still Connie realized she was spot on with her assumption, as she watched him falter a bit.

"He learned it from me..." Was all Steven spoke before regaining his composure. Connie nodded as her curiosity grew from the burning question lingering in her mind since she first heard that voice.

"I see... but I suppose, if I may be so bold as to inquire, my only question is this." She took in a deep breath before answering. "Why can I hear him? I'm no creature of magic."

"While that is true, I think you know more than you're letting on." His statement made her froze in place.

"What? I don't know anything!" His eyes began to glow as if she was prey. It was becoming more and more uncomfortable as she stood up, her chair falling with a loud thump behind her. He had followed her actions, though a tad more eloquently.

"Oh but I believe you do..." The tone in his voice low and almost sensual. As he approached her, she took a step back, continuing the pattern until her back reached a pavilion column. Steven pressed his hand beside her head, his other holding her chin and cheeks between his fingers and palm.

"Maybe not on the surface... the answer is hidden." the tone and implication in his voice made her tremble slightly.

"Y-you can't do this!" Her voice was shaking as well.  "I-I don't know anything!"

"Oh have you forgotten? I OWN you...well I will shortly. Unless you want innocent lives to be destroyed. Now, let's find out." Without warning he pressed his lips against her own, not caring if the mask scraped against her skin this time. Her hands pushed against his chest, but was was useless as he pressed his hands on her back as he kept her in his arms. The kiss much more rough than before.

'STOP!'

It was the voice again, only this time it made Connie take action. Something inside of him didn't want this, but she couldn't focus to much on that now. With a free hand she slapped his bare cheek so hard he pulled back and groaned, taking in a sharp breath. The sound echoing between them as he held a hand to his face. Their breathing was hard and deep as she began to step away from him.

"You are a horrible man! I don't belong to you!" She shouted before running away from the scene. Wanting to get as far away as possible, wiping away the sensation from her lips though failing at the same time. Steven watched as she fled from him. Eyes wide as the sting on his cheek began to fade.

'You drove her away, this is your fault'

'I thought if we... I never meant....' His thoughts were incomplete sentences but it didn't matter. Couldn't turn back time or change what he had done. And for the first time in years, he felt weak. Mixed into the overwhelming feelings of guilt.

'Intentions or not, you hurt her.'

With that he shouted so loudly it was almost inhuman. Lifting the table up and flipping it to the side. Pushing the candelabras down, the force so quick it blew out the flames before it could destroy the pavilion. Walking out he began to destroy all in site. A few gems were unfortunately caught in his raged poofed within a matter of seconds. Their gems falling upon the grass. Some were accidentally cracked from impact whilst falling on the concrete path.

The glow he was emitting was a lot more brighter than usual. Spikes from hand tore down everything that stood in his way. Upon seeing the human zoo he paused before slowly walking up towards the door.

'Do you want to loose her?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next couple of days, Connie avoided Steven like the plaque. Keeping busy as she practiced her sword-training with Pearl, the Library organizing and writing down her notes for when she got back to earth. Thoughts swirled around and around her mind as she hardly slept, barely ate and just kept on distracting herself from any intrusive thoughts.

It was obvious to everyone else that something had happened between them. Especially since Steven had disappeared for a few days. Connie couldn't help but feel inward joy knowing that. Although that was little energy spent since she had almost non at all. Her eyes barely kept open, scrapes covered her body and muscles aching. Pearl was in charge so she couldn't train like before. But that didn't stop her from training on her own.

The next day, she had finished her extensive training, drank loads of water and began to help with the work about the library. While standing on a high ladder step, rearranging some books, she yawned and began to lean backwards. At first it was just a tad , then more and more. Until suddenly she was falling backwards.

Letting out a slight scream as her feet swept out from under her with the wind. Then all at once she felt still. No wind brushing fast against her ears, stayng perfectly still in mid air. Of course she knew it wasn't her levitating. Lapis was right there, thankfully, just in time before anything serious happened. Bringing her down to a chair, the others gathered around.

"Okay Connie, you need to rest and get some sleep!" Lapis stated a bit to loudly. It was obvious she quite literally fell into an intervention of sorts. Karma really does catch up with a person.

"I don't have any-"

"You can cut the excuses Connie." Bismuth spoke firmly, crossing her arms. "We know something has been bothering you and are apparently doing a lot to avoid it."

"I mean it's not like it's serious" Connie lied with a small smile. "I might have overdone it a tad, big deal."

"A tad, hm?" Bismuth repeated slowly. Obviously they were not convinced. "Peridot, please give me your diagnosis on our friend here." Her tone softened a bit on that word.

"Affirmative!" Peridot got closer to her face making Connie leaning away slightly into the chair back. "Dark circles, eyes strained." Moving back she circled around her. "Muscles are showing signs of aching, Got a tad more thinner, and not in a good way, hair is a bit messed up..."

"What does my hair got to do-"

"...and from what I gather" Peridot continued ignoring Connie's question. "I would diagnosis this as, avoiding whatever is making her stressed out."

"Okay I get it!" She stood up only to have both Lapis and Bismuth pull her back down.

"Connie, whatever is bothering you, we can help. We are worried about you too." Lapis spoke while kneeling down on the floor beside her. Connie looked at her hands, unable to focus her gaze nor stop from continuously shaking. She couldn't deny her rest any longer. Closing her eyes for a brief moment, images from the night she last saw Steven, and the feeling of being used came flooding back instantly. Tears threatened to pour out as she bit her lip and sighed out any emotions she felt right then.  Instead she smiled faintly with a sort of defeated look.

"You all are right, I have been pushing myself more than usual. I guess it's because I'm facing the reality that I will be loosing my own home planet soon." It was strange and beyond bizarre. Of course she was upset over that. Feeling the prejudice of not belonging in his highness' court? Or here amongst gem kind period. Unfortunately she was used to that.

She already knew what was to happen. But did she accept it truly? Or did she just learn to deal with it and pushed away all her emotions on the matter? At the moment she couldn't face those questions. Right now all that clouded her mind was the person that she tried to distance herself from. When it came to Steven, everything was a blur. Her heart was pounding every time she was near him, and he has kept his promise to her so far.

However he was using her. Blaming her for the voice, or other half, surfacing from within himself as if it's her fault. Like she was responsible. Not to mention all the times he held her close without hardly any consent. Still she couldn't deny either that she grew sort of fond of it. In a strange, messed up and (in her mind) sick sense. So before her thoughts could spiral out of control, Connie shook her head and breathed in deeply.

"I think I need to sleep, I'll see you around!" With that she quickly ran out of the room. Needing to get away and be alone. Alone with her thoughts for the first time in weeks.

"Wait! Connie! We can help you!" They all cried out to her, in vain. Already out of earshot.

That night she tossed and turned in her sleep. Images of them together flashed in her mind. When he held her during the first session, carried her away in his arms, the pavilion picnic, the kiss... Everything swirled around and around in her mind. ...

Then she saw him turning towards her. Eyes glowing pink as he advanced in her direction. Connie instantly backed up until she hit the wall. Or what she thought was the wall. Turning around slowly she gasped and took a step back. It was his other half, all pink with pitch black eyes. Screaming she tried to run, but the human half pulled her back in his arms. Blood covered his hands.

"Where are you going? You can't run away from me." She struggled to push him off or pull herself away. But nothing seemed to work. Then the gem half gripped her chin and both her cheeks with one hand. Pulling her closer.

"He's right you know" Both held her down against them as her eyes darted back and forth between them. They laughed and laughed as the human half moved in closer. Lips almost touching hers. The gem half caressing her waist and middle. Almost like they were chaining her to them both. With no key.

"You belong to us" They laughed maniacally so while out of her peripheral vision, the earth exploded into a million pieces...along with multiple human corpses and blood. Reaching out to a familiar body that was her father, tears pouring down her face, she froze.

There on her own hands was drops of blood. Her father's blood.

"NO!!!" She shouted jolting herself up from her nap. For the second time since she arrived. Holding her chest while trying to control her breathing. But it didn't last long, flashes of dead corpses and the blood on her hands etched in her mind, as she covered her mouth. Racing towards the bathroom and leaned over the toilet. All the bile that rose from her stomach to her throat, she couldn't keep down any longer.

After hacking up everything in the span of five minutes, which shocked her since she hardly ate previously. Perhaps this was another side affect to that. Leaning against he wall she took another couple of minutes before reaching out and turning on the water in the tub. Washing her face from before and allowing the warm waters to ease any aches she had. Slowly allowing the tub to fill before putting her entire head under. Trying to let the water wash away any worries she had. But to no avail. Still it was soothing and helped to at least ease the tension.

It had only been an hour but she wasn't going back to sleep again. Once fully calmed from her dream, face and hair cleaned and dried up from before, she got up towards the balcony to get some fresh air. Putting her hair in a long braid and using her fingers to detangle while doing so. Still feeling a bit sore from before, but was okay for now.

Tying the end of her braid she pushed the door open and breathed in the cool she felt. Placing her hands upon the railing and leaning forward. Taking a few minutes to think of nothing and just breath. Moments later she faintly heard what sounded like fighting in the courtyard. Looking down below she saw Amethyst and Jasper going at it like one would poof the other.

Amethyst used her whip to wrap around a stone pillar. With a large tug she pulled the pillar out from the foundation. Causing it to crumble on top of Jasper. However she dodged it before any debris could hit her. Punching a few stone out with her bare fists as she laughed at the sight before her. Then she rolled herself into a sort of 'sonic-the-hedgehog' move and raced towards Amethyst.

She dodged the attack and landed right on the opposite end of the pathway. Using her whip she flung it towards Jasper. However in a haze of spinning orange and flowing hair, what happened next shocked them both to the core. Instead of wrapping around Jasper, it only got her arm. She smirked and laughed while pulling her arm back which in turn pulled Amethyst closer since she held the other end of the whip.

Before Amethyst could retaliate, Jasper punched her to the ground below. Watching as she slid deep in the grass, making fresh dirt appear beneath her. Hitting her head and upper body against another pillar. Groaning she tried getting up but Jasper kicked her down.

Again...again....again...

Continuously until Amethyst could barely see. Then she felt her throat being encased and tightened in a large hand. Jasper held her in the air and laughed at the sight before her. Watching as Amethyst waved her arms around and tried to break free and fight back. But it was useless since Jasper did have the upper hand when it came to brutal strength.

"I can't believe you, a prime kinder-garden gem would come out so pathetic. And yet are still willing to fight, even though you are the most useless gem in the entire universe! I mean look at you! A prime kindergarden gem loosing to the strongest Beta gem! Well not so surprising know me. However this doesn't change who you are. A runt, a pathetic weakling, a failure!"

"Let her go Jasper! If you're the strongest gem here, why don't you prove it and fight me!" Both gems turned to see Connie, sword in hand. Though not nearly full on energy, she had just enough to scale down the strong vines from the balcony to the garden and ready for a fight. What she was was brutal. Cruel didn't even begin to describe what she felt form what she saw. Jasper let go of Amethyst and walked towards her new opponent.

"Looks like we have a foolish challenger here." She growled a bit annoyed that she interrupted her fight. "I'll give you one chance to walk away before I pulverize you for good!" Connie didn't say a word. Only adjusted her stance to show she wasn't going to back down. Especially not after all she saw.

Everything begins with your stance. Keep it wide, body lowered and as your moving forward balance is the key.

Words from Pearl served her well as she was able to dodge Jasper's first attack. Blocking it well as she ducked and swung her sword against her arm. For gems they didn't get hurt the same way humans do of course. But Jasper was less in pain and more annoyed that Connie got him so easily.

Right foot, Left foot, now go even faster

Raising her fist and flung it towards her middle as quick as she could. However Connie had a smaller frame and was a lot more limber. So she dodged and rolled under Jasper's legs. Turning while standing up from the other side and kicking her backside. Causing Jasper to stumble forward from both moments of the kick and her fist.

On the battlefield when everything is chaos and you have nothing but the way you feel, your strategy and a sword.

After that it was a constant motion of dodging attack after attack. Connie used her sword to block her fists and kept advancing backwards. Carefully looking around to see where she can gain the advantage here. Spotting a tree with a very special looking branch, she smiled and began to use her footwork to make them go in that direction. Then at the precise moment, she ducked and rolled backward. Jasper hitting the tree branch and watching as the tree itself fell down.

Deep down you know, you weren't built for fighting, but that doesn't mean you're not prepared to try.

Connie took a few more steps back away from Jasper. Just enough distance to paused before going at it again. Her back hit a wall suddenly and with one glance she instantly recognized it. The wall that separated the courtyard from the human zoo. It was strong and durable through the most horrific of fights, but this wasn't a good time to test it when Jasper was beyond furious with her. Speaking of which Jasper came almost flying at her, another blow to give her. Jumping up at the last second she landed on top of the wall. Jasper followed her as they adjusted for the small foot space beneath them.

Hitting her in the head she watched as she stumbled back. Laughing as her helmet reformed and cracked her knuckles. Pushing her off the wall forcefully, Connie used her sword to scrape the wall and slow her speed. Then kicking herself off she landed back on the grass. Watching as Jasper jumped towards her and in the last second, flung her sword towards her body. Hoping to poof her and end the fight. Connie had already begun to feel the fatigue inside her. But she wasn't giving up. With a cloud of dust from her landing, in that moment everything was silent.

Until Connie gasped in shock

There was Jasper, still standing as she laughed louder and louder. Taunting her with every passing second as she pulled out the sword. Breaking it in half with her knee and letting it almost disintegrate right before her eyes. Connie's eyes were wide in fear. Knowing full well that without the sword she wasn't going to win this fight. Jasper smirked and finally stopped laughing so hard.

"Well, newbie, I didn't think you had this in you. I must admit you are a tough fighter, for a human."

"Is that you forfeiting the fight?" Connie asked sarcastically, brows furrowed and fists ready to fight.

"No"

With that Jasper punched her back so hard, she hit a tree. Thankfully not enough to have any spinal damage or broken bones. However just enough to knock her out of her senses. Shaking she put both her hands on the ground and tried getting up. Failing to do so as she fell and moaned in pain. Eyes closed she heard Jasper's footsteps getting closer. The ground shaking beneath her slightly from the heavy footsteps she took. Bracing herself for the impact that was too come.

"I win this fight, newbie."