#obey me incorrect quote

[overheardbyvarioustherapists]

MC: What a day... Lucifer: MC, it's not even noon yet. Simeon: That makes three of us in need of a tea break. Barbatos, with a tray of tea and snacks: Make that four.

[digital-heart]

Now, I was not aware this was a Homestuck quote until I made it. Lol

[notcreative360]

So I'm not sure if it's the same with other pp, but I panic when a NEW problem comes my way, and I technically have a mental breakdown when I don't know what's gonna happen, and the effects the new problem could bring me, which does lead me to overreact. So now I'm just wondering how the brothers would react to an overreacting MC who doesn't know about something, cause they never had dealt with it before (they don't know how to deal with the problem either lmao).

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MC: Thanks for the allergy pill, Mammon.

Mammon: Heh, you always got your first to rely on.

MC: ..! ...uh oh..

The brothers: 👁️👄👁️

Beel: That didn't sound good...

Mammon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN UH OH?!

MC: I might've chewed the pill by accident...

Lucifer: *Tries to stay calm* What do you mean you chewed the pill by accident?!

MC: I DON'T KNOW! INSTINCT?!

Levi: Are you feeling ok?!

MC: I DON'T KNOW!! My mouth feels bitter, am I foaming?!

Satan: Someone call Solomon!!

Asmo: I'll do it!!

Mammon: Don't worry! I'll carry you to a hospital!

Belphie: What the fuck are the demons gonna do, bitch?!!

Mammon: I'm trying here, don't start calling your big brother names now!

*The brothers fighting in the background*

MC: *Starts having a mental breakdown*

[zouzoru-comms-open]

H-hey *drops all their obey me fanarts because I wanna make commissions*

[corvus-for-ddd]

[usagiglamour]

On the phone

Kidnapper: We have your sister.

Mammon: uh?? All my brothers are boys.

Kidnapper: Then who tf is this weird girl telling us that it's very normie of us to mistake her for a girl??

Mammon: Screaming OH SHIT THEY GOT LEVIATHAN COSPLAYING RURI-CHAN!

[villianbell]

Mc *texting lucifer* : sends a voice message

Lucifer *texting back* : I’m a little busy. Is it urgent?

Mc : No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Lucifer : *presses play*

Mc (voice message): THERE’S A FIRE-

Mammon : *screaming in the back ground*

[comfortcharacterprompts]

Lucifer: It’s dark in here Mc: Don’t worry, I got this. Mc: *Stomps their feet* Mc: *Skechers light up*

[authormars]

MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

[tsukii0002]

Mc: Remember when I told you about my period?

The brothers: ...

Mc: And how it was recommended that for those days there should always be chocolate and hot water bags because it helped me and gave me comfort?

Satan: Yes, we remember it...

Mc: And remember that I told you so you would not be caught off guard?

Belphie: Yeah...

Mc: Well *taking a breath*, it's time for us to talk about YOUR periods.

Mammon: We do not have periods!!!

Mc: *slamming the table* Periods, heats, mating time…. Call it what you want but it's time to talk about it!!!!

Levi: *very flushed* But...

Mc: But nothing!! I'm tired of waking up in nests in random places in the house time to time!!!! It's not nice to wake up with feathers in my mouth!!!!!

Lucifer:*blushing*...

Mc: I would also like to be prepared in case I find any animal corpses at the foot of the bed!!! I appreciate the thought but I am human!!!! I don't need you to show me that you can get resources!!!! That's what supermarkets are for!!

Satan: *dodging the gaze*

Mc: And it would really be nice to know when you produce pheromones, that would have avoided me a lot of problems in RAD.

Asmo: Ha, ha *nervous laughter*

Mc: Or to know when to prepare myself to wake up in a cave dug in the garden or underwater.

Beel: ...

Levi: ...

Mc: And it would not be bad to know that during your period you are showing your demonic forms, I almost had four heart attacks the first time I saw your eyes glowing in the dark Mammon!!!

Mammon: That was an accident...

Mc: *enumerating with their fingers* Or that your sleep schedule changes, or that you don't sleep at all, or that your temperature changes, or that some of you become non-verbal, or that your wings produce a specific sound as a call…

Lucifer: Enough *massaging his temples while blushing* It has become clear.

Mc: You didn't think that, as a human living with seven demons, I should know these things???

Mammon: We didn't think you would notice...

Mc: *looking at him exceptionally* Mammon, my dear, last time you brought me a cocatrix egg because it glowed.

The brothers: ...

Mc: This is my last warning! Either we talk and set schedules or I take Solomon and Luke and go live somewhere else.

The brothers: !!!!

Satan: *whispering* Why only Solomon and Luke?

Asmo: *also whispering* Mc has given this same talk to Lord Diavolo, Barbatos and Simeon….

Mc: *taking out a notebook* So stop behaving like a pubescent teenager and tell me how your periods are going and if I can help you in any way.

Lucifer: Okay, you win…but this is not like your period.

Mammon: It's not fair!!! It's not like we can avoid it

Levi: *covering his face* This is going to be worse than a public exhibition…

Asmo: Well, at least this way we won't have to hide it….

Satan: *sighing* Will it really do any good?

Beel: *worried* It won't be a problem for Mc?

Belphie: … Well, I do want them to spoil me on my period.

The brothers: Belphie!!!!

Mc: *holding back laughter* That's the spirit.

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I would like to write more extensive headcanons about it in the future 😊

Part 1 Part 2

[slutifer]

Lucifer: mc, you can’t just say “spit in my mouth” when one of us does something you deem attractive

mc: but why not??

Mammon: yeah it’s just saliva, what’s the problem??

Satan: did you know that saliva is almost entirely water? only 0.5 percent of it is anything else, but that tiny portion is full of useful enzymes-proteins that speed up chemical reactions-

Lucifer: stop-

Satan: among these are amylase and ptyalin, which begin to break down sugars in carbohydrates while they are still in our mouths. if we chew a starchy food like bread or potato for a bit longer than normal, we will soon notice a sweetness. unfortunately, bacteria in our mouths like that sweetness, too-

Lucifer: STOP-

Satan: they devour the liberated sugars and excrete acids, which drill through human teeth and give them cavities. other enzymes, notably lysozyme-which was discovered by human scientist alexander fleming before he stumbled onto penicillin-attack many invading pathogens, but not the ones that cause tooth decay, alas.

Satan: …

Lucifer: …

mc: …

mc: spit in my mouth

Lucifer: MC

[overheardbyvarioustherapists]

Lucifer: [slams his foot on the wall next to MC for intimidation purposes] MC: Bold of you to put your ankle within biting range.

[rainiishowers]

Lucifer: *Wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Asmodeus: I see you're bursting out the spring colors.

———

Mammon, rolling down the car window: what seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: get the FUCK out of my car

———

Luke: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it

Luke: And I started thinking

Luke: Like it was just trying to get food

Luke: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck

Luke: How would I feel

Simeon: Are you okay???

———

Mammon: You should always say "please" and "thank you".

Baby! Satan, deadpanned: Please shut the fuck up, thank you.

Mammon: Not what I meant, but still progress!

———

Mammon: *flirts with MC*

MC: *flirts back*

Mammon, internally: i did not plan up to this point. what the fuck do i do now…?

———

Belphegor: *washing the dishes* Who the fuck used this pan??

Belphegor: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

MC: It was you the fuck

Satan: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Beelzebub: He the fuck

———

MC: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an Energy Smoothie would it kill me?

Solomon: *shrugs* Only if you die young

MC, getting out the blender: You're so smart

Mammon, running into the room: MC STOP-

———

Satan: I'm gonna open a cat cafe, but I need investors. Here's the plan. The first floor will have normal cats, but as you go up, each floor will have more and more dangerous cats, and at the top floor is me with a gun.

———

Beelzebub: *is carrying all the groceries*

M: *holds out hand to help*

Beelzebub: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold MC’s hand*

———

Asmo: And once again, Asmo and Solomon save the day.

Barbatos: You didn't do anything. It was all Solomon.

Asmodeus: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

———

Diavolo: Would you kiss me for 1k grimm?

Lucifer: Why?

Diavolo: Just curious

Lucifer, playing along: ..I suppose

Diavolo: [Slams 1k onto the table] would you look at that-

[midnightsunnyday]

Lucifer: What a wonderful end to a perfect evening.

MC: I agree. I had a lot of fun with you tonight, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I'm glad to hear it. Though perhaps we should continue said "fun" in my room?

MC: That's ok, I'm feeling a bit tired anyway, so I'll head on back.

Lucifer: No, what I meant was we should allow ourselves to get further acquainted...alone...in my room.

MC: Oh, Lucifer, I already spend plenty of time alone with you. No need to get possessive.

Lucifer: That's not what I...look, what I'm saying is I'd like to know you more intimately, preferably without your clothes, if you catch my drift.

MC: Oh, so I see.

Lucifer: Indeed.

MC: ...

Lucifer: ...

MC: ...So are you saying you hate my outfit? Because I tried to go for a more casual look but--

Lucifer: I'M TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

MC: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?

[squeakyducky]

Lucifer : MC, why do you get away with crimes.

MC: Diavolo loves me.

[corvus-for-ddd]