#obey me catholic

[zephyrchama]

It was dinnertime in the House of Lamentation. Conversation petered out as everyone focused on the hot food in front of them, leaving a quiet lull interrupted only by clinking silverware.

“I’ve always wanted a traditional church wedding,” you said, entirely unprompted.

The clinking came to a stop as the seven brothers processed what you had just said. They turned their eyes towards you.

Beelzebub was the first to break the silence despite his mouth full of food. “Huh?”

“I just always thought it would be nice. A quaint wedding in a nice little church. Maybe a chapel.”

Leviathan briefly choked on what he was chewing.

“Oh I totally get it!” Asmodeus empathized. “Rows of pews with white flowers, those high arched ceilings, the evening light of the human world sun shining on us through a beautiful stained glass window as we kiss? Oh!” He clutched his shoulders, “it gives me chills just imagining it!”

“Asmo, we can’t enter churches,” Satan stated matter-of-factly. The knife handle gripped in his fist started to bend.

“Hah!? What? Lucifer, is that true?” Mammon slammed his fork down and just about jumped out of his chair as he shouted at the oldest.

“Sit down, Mammon.” Lucifer rubbed his temple and tried to perform damage control before the inevitable headache set in. “What brought this on suddenly?” he asked you.

Keeping a straight face was immensely difficult but you pulled it off. “I was just thinking about weddings and stuff, y’know. It’d be nice. Ever since I was little I thought a church wed-”

Belphegor interjected with “You’re not even that religious.”

A flood of complaints washed over the table as everyone started loudly protesting.

“You… You’re not allowed to get married anywhere without me!” Leviathan shouted.

“Does it have to be a church? What about a restaurant instead?” Beel suggested, looking worried. “I know a lot of pretty ones.”

“We could build a mock church in a studio and get married there,” Asmo fantasized. “The stained glass could be you and me as cherubs, we can ask Luke to be the flower boy. He’d be so cute in a little tux!”

“You wouldn’t even need a ceremony with me,” Belphegor said. “If you really want one, we can have it outdoors under the stars.”

Satan’s knife was bent at a 90-degree angle. “What a stupid thing to say. Libraries are just as quiet and nice as churches. Probably. They sure suit you better than a church.” 

“The restaurants also have in-house catering,” Beel continued.

“That ain’t gonna happen!” Mammon bounced his knee, shaking the entire table as he lamented, “I ain’t lettin’ my human get married in some church! We can go anywhere you want! Anywhere else!”

”There’s a church in my game!” Leviathan gasped. He thought an in-game wedding would be just as good as a real one. “I can show you! We can go now! Lets make you a character!”

Lucifer cleared his throat once. Then twice. The third time was a warning that got lost amid all of the whining. “Enough,” he finally growled. The room went silent for him. “You’re not getting married in a church. End of discussion.”

“Oh.” Weird of him to decide that on his own, but you were at your limit. A wide grin had already spread across your face. “Yeah, ok. By the way this roast you made is delicious.”

[mcx7demonbros]

One of the Brothers: *looks at MC with suggestive eyes and puts a hand on their thigh*

MC: *slaps the hand away* no, it’s Holy Week

[dirwael]

simeon, who tells himself that your soul will go to heaven. he tells himself that when your time comes, he will be able to greet you in the celestial realm, that he will smile at your halo and caress your white wings.

simeon, who hates the truth.

simeon, who knows that from your pacts on your skin - symbols of not even indulgence, flat out ownership of the seven sins - that you will be cast down to the bowels of hell. he knows that your soul will end up in one of the circles, where you will be punished for eternity, while he is supposed to turn a blind eye.

simeon, who can’t help but fantasize, but wish, but pray, that he could protect you in heaven. he dreams about hiding you in a forgotten corner of the celestial realm. he dreams about laying next to you in the plains, bodies concealed by the always blooming flowers.

simeon, who dreams about holding you.

simeon, who wishes he could kiss you.

simeon, who prays that he could be free to love you.

without the judgmental eyes of Him along his back.

[irishmammonagenda]

Catholic MC gets sent into hell! Maybe it was clickbait!! (part three)!!!

introduction, part one, part two, part three (you are here)

content warnings: implied AFAB MC, they/them pronouns used, ambiguous ending? kinda short

The council room was once more enveloped in an awkward silence. Lucifer barely masks the distate in his eyes as MC utters the words.

Beel, stops munching on his snack, giving a sad but innocent (or as innocent as a demon can be) smile, "His name's Belphie... well...Belphegor but we call him Belphie...He's up in the human world right now for his exchange program...so you wont be seeing him I don't think."

MC nods absentmindedly, Lucifer, for being the Avatar of the Gays...(Pride joke) was acting kinda sus. (gay joke)...either way, this was fever dream inducing.

Simeon smiles awkwardly, something felt...off.

Lucifer clears his throat..."Anyway, Mammon will be responsible for taking care of you." He says practically thrusting Mammon in Mc's face, which made sense seeing as the tan demon in question was trying to book it.

"Nuhuh!"

"Yuhuh." Lucifer mutters under his breath.

"Nuhuh!" MC chimes in.

"Shut up both of you!" Satan says, knowing him having an 'outburst' would stress Lucifer out more. He wasn't actually annoyed, in fact, he was quite amused.

MC looks around at the Demons, Angels and very shady man that's definitely from France and thus cannot be trusted. (Solomon is in no way french, and is offended by that notion.)

"Okay...Sorry for freaking out earlier...." MC mumbles to the group embarassedly.

"You're fine! No harm was done" Diavolo reassures them, though Simeon still can't shake the feeling.

And that's fair enough, as up above, above the shining ever-present Devildom Moon, above the ever changing realm of the humans, above their fluffy clouds and shiny sun, in the Celestial realm a certain Archangel kept watch, watching his brothers, both estranged and un, the Devildom Prince and Butler, as well as the shadiest man he has ever met (who is not french apparently) and a small, fragile human.

He was omnipresent, a fly on the wall if you may, careful not to move lest the Prince or the Butler notice him. Shouldn't've prayed to him so much in such a short span of time, little lamb.

After all, we all have our skeletons in our closets, perhaps in our attics, too.

[absolutepokemontrash]

The “brother in christ” thing gets even better when you consider that Jesus probably wasn’t even born at the time the brothers fell in Nightbringer lol

According to some religious texts that are not necessarily canonical to the Bible, but are still held in high regard (ie. Dante’s Divine Comedy) like Paradise Lost, Jesus was already around in Heaven when Lucifer was still an Angel, and part of the reason Lucifer fell was because Jesus was the one who was going to die for humanity. Lucifer wanted to do it for the glory, while Jesus wanted to do it out of love for humanity.

ANYWAY, none of that is really canon in Obey Me, but fucking imagine-

Mammon: Okay so what’s happening with Jesus over in the Human World?

Belphegor: I mean… something pissed him off, he’s flipping tables.

Mammon: Wait what?!

Beelzebub: Yeah, he caught a bunch of merchants in the Temple selling stuff and now he’s yelling.

Belphegor: Wait… merchants? (*turns to Mammon*) HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO PISS OFF JESUS?! HE’S LITERALLY THE MOST CHILL MOTHERFUCKER-

Lucifer: Mammon’s sin and scumminess can break even the most patient of men, it seems.

Mammon: Heheheheh… *sweats*

[saitamastamaticsoup]

Nightbringer is so funny bc if diavolo didn’t threaten to send us back to the human world(idk of that happens I’ve only heard) Lilith would still he here no? I don’t think she would be like a baby when they said she was reborn as a human I just assume they just put her in the world and erased her memories but she was probably reborn as a child and grew up. But she would still be around meaning that it would be so incredibly far into the past because even they had a hard time tracing MC’s lineage😭 so imagine going back to like a time before lightbulbs were invented. Absolutely the FUCK NOT!!! I could not for a second live as a small sickly Victorian child no way I would be able to survive watching people Live in their own filth😭🤢 I’m sorry i’m not witnessing slavery or the black plague Dia has me all the way fucked up I’m too spoiled by modern technology like socks and hoodies

[doodlboy]

🐐

[amasiusblog]

currently losing my mind over the idea of a very catholic-raised mc getting sent to the devildom for the exchange student program. they don't even have to be religious because when you're raised super catholic some stuff sticks.

now picture this:

mc is sent to the devildom and in their pocket is a travel-sized prayer book and a wooden rosary blessed by a priest. these are things that never leave their pocket not because they're personally religious, but because their parents would throw a fit if they don't carry it with them.

their first reaction to seeing the student council? not very good.

lucifer: welcome to the devildom. you are out exchange student from the human world and--

mc: sorry but could you repeat that?

lucifer: what.

mc: i'm so sorry but i think i'm hearing things-- didyoujustsayi'minthedevildom?!!

mc: oh my god i'm in hell i'm in hell oh my god what did i do to deserve this i mean the worst thing i've ever done was shoplift a magazine and i returned it! oh please tell me this is a joke please please tell me this is just a silly daydream that i'm having while asleep during mass i'm so sorry father garcia i'll never sleep through your service ever again even if you bring up your ex-wife--

diavolo, visibly upset: ...

lucifer, visibly pissed: ENOUGH [transforms into demon form] YOU HAVE BEEN HERE FOR ALL OF 5 MINUTES AND YOU ALREADY PROVE TO BE IN--

mc: AHHHHHH A DEMON [whips out prayer book and throws the rosary at lucifer before he can grab them] ourfatherinheavenhallowedbethynamethykingdomcomethywillbedone

lucifer: WHAT THE FUCK.

lucifer: STOP DOING THAT.

[acaribeau]

I founded it!!

The plague that almost kill Solomon!

The three days plague in Jerusalem

13So Gad went to David and said to him, “Shall there come on you three b years of famine in your land? Or three months of fleeing from your enemies while they pursue you? Or three days of plague in your land? Now then, think it over and decide how I should answer the one who sent me.”

14David said to Gad, “I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into human hands.”

15So the Lord sent a plague on Israel from that morning until the end of the time designated, and seventy thousand of the people from Dan to Beersheba died. 16When the angel stretched out his hand to destroy Jerusalem, the Lord relented concerning the disaster and said to the angel who was afflicting the people, “Enough! Withdraw your hand.” The angel of the Lord was then at the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.

17When David saw the angel who was striking down the people, he said to the Lord, “I have sinned; I, the shepherd, c have done wrong. These are but sheep. What have they done? Let your hand fall on me and my family.”

It was a punishment to his father, king David...

2 Samuel 24 if someone wants to read

[seajellyx]

homemade inktober prompt list <3

demonology inspired! or as i like to call it- ex-catholic edition!

anyone is free to use these prompts!

i do hope they're readable lol

[thecherrypitpie]

a post about a fic idea i will never write for lack of time and patience

imagine if michael really is nightbringer and Sky Daddy gets tired of him playing the villain in mc's demonic nancy drew adventure so literal *DIVINE INTERVENTION* is what sends mc back to their present... but at a cost.

they pop back up during a council meeting (totally not discussing how to next try to find mc and rescue them since solomon is taking forever)

lighting quick one of the brothers grabs mc to pull them in for a hug

mc: "no! don't" *squeezes eyes shut and screams, clutching their head*

when their eyes reopen they're a glowing iridescent white

mc?: "SAMAEL, IT IS TIME YOU RETURNED TO ME. GATHER THE OTHERS AND ASCEND TO MY SIDE ONCE MORE. DO THIS AND AS A GIFT FOR YOUR OBEDIENCE, YOU MAY KEEP THE MORTAL."

mc collapses, comatose into the arms of whomstever grabbed them first.

you, yes *you*, should write this and tag me so i can read it

[mcx7demonbros]

Catholic!MC: I’m a Catholic

Satan: *frowns*

Catholic!MC: I’m a CATholic

Satan: 😊

[sachsoup]

me reading and being interested in demonology while casually listening to ghost and plays genshin and obey me (i have a religious family (they are roman catholic))

[irishmammonagenda]

CATHOLIC MC WHO GETS SENT INTO HELL?! NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!! (part two)

introduction, part one, part two (you are here), part three

Warnings: None? Mentions of religion (obviously) and GN but AFAB MC,Mammon being an idiot, and me not being able to type irish accents out phonetically.

The sound of the council room door beckons the brothers to look toward it, Diavolo’s gaze stays upon the litte human in front of him. How interesting! This was a rare insight into human world culture, he couldn’t look away!

Barbatos stands at the doorway, explaining that Simeon was helping Solomon with a spell and he would be in the student council room the moment it was safe to walk away from the cauldron.

Diavolo nods, looking back to MC, who is currently praying. (surprise surprise) Well Simeon would be here soon!

.

.

.

Simeon arrives by the door with Solomon and Luke in tow, his calmed smile slightly strained as he asks what exactly the problem is.

"What the problem is?! This!" Mammon says, or rather, shouts. "This right 'ere is the problem!" He points towards MC and Simeon's gorgeous blue eyes widen, just a little.

Hearing a gasp from Luke, he immediately turns around, concern for the young angel quickly vanishes when he sees the stars in the young boy's eyes.

Simeon nods, so the young angel felt it too. The aura was pure..someone had been praying.

That someone must be the young human on their knees. Simeon chuckled, it was an adorable sight.

“MC was it?” he asks gently, making sure to shove on his halo before the human looked up, immediately, they ceased, their tense posture relaxing.

“Y-yeah.” MC nods, Simeon can see the relief on their face. What an adorable human, Diavolo seems to agree as he coos softly and tries to cover it up.

Simeon was doing just fine in calming the little thing down, before, like usual, the brothers had to be chaotic.

“So MC, are ya normal now”

Simeon swears to Michael he is going to glare somewhat meanly at Mammon.

Thats all it takes to send MC back into panic, except this time they’re more of a logical approach and…

…bless their bottle of riverrock water.

…Making it holy water.

…And then chucking it at Mammon….

…and missing…

(moreso Mammom dived to the ground Rocky Style so it hit Asmo)

..the champagne haired demon screeches like all nine cricles of hell just went up in flames AGAIN.

Its a bit of an overreaction seeing as Asmodeus is one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom so Holy Water is more like a dull bee sting.

Lucifer sighs. Simeon tenses. Solomon is fucking cackling.

All the while MC stares at their hands, “…I can make Holy Water….Im not a priest…” they look down at their very much female school uniform “or a biological male…”

The confusion, thankfully, is what allows Solomon to swoop in like the housefly he is and take the bottle of Holy Water from the clearly dazed human.

This is an opening that Diavolo exploits. “So MC, we truly mean you no harm…! I’m Lord Diavolo, Prince of the Devildom and Acting Ruler! You’re here as an exchange student for a year as we chose you!” He says cheerfully, careful eyes watching MCs reaction.

“What.The.Fuck.” MC says, more to theirself than anyone else.

“We sent you an email.” Barbatos adds in gracefully.

“Oh. Must be in my spam folder. Also who checks their email.” MC looks around the room calmly. “So who are these emos?”

The black haired man from before steps forward a devilish smirk on his devilishly handsome face, “I’m Lucifer, the eldest brother and the Avatar of Pride.”

“Gay.” MC then turns to the Irish One who’s suprisingly not paler than milk (the Irish don’t exist)

“I’m the Great Mammon! Avatar of Greed…don't be messin’ wi’ me human.”

MC nods shakily, making a clear note to ask later if he has an Autism diagnosis.

Speaking of an Autism diagnosis, the third born introduces himself quietly before hiding into his game again.

The introductions go so on and so forth until MC stares at Lucifer, their head tilted like a dog not understanding something.

"…Pride, Greed, Envy, Wrath, Lust, and Gluttony…Theres supposed to be 7 deadly sins. Where's Sloth?"

shit.

[cheerfullycatholic]

Did you hear about the priest the Pope fired over his pro-life political tweets

Yes oh my gosh the whole thing bothers me. The priest who was dismissed is Frank Pavone, the director of the pro life organization Priests for Life. But he actually wasn't dismissed for his pro life work, at least officially. The official reasons given on the Vatican document was for blasphemous comments online and disobedience to his Bishop (which broke canon law). The whole thing is a mess, because the blasphemous comments was taking the Lord's name in vain (which he regretted right afterwards and confessed), and the disobedience was due to him getting involved in a political campaign (Trump's, to be specific) without his Bishop's permission. Both of which are bad things, but I don't actually think they're worthy of defrocking (unless there's a lot of disobedience over the years that we don't know about), especially since he went to confession for his comments. His pro life work with Priests for Life, aside from the Trump campaign, was never an issue. That's where Frank Pavone is making so many mistakes. That's what he's saying, not Pope Francis or the Bishops. And after his dismissal, instead of accepting his superiors decision or seeking a way to figure something out that involved talking to the Vatican respectfully, he became very vocal about continuing to be disobedient, disrespecting the Vatican's decision (calling it "just a piece of paper") more or less attacking some US Bishops, claiming that "the next Pope with reinstate me", and calling everyone who doesn't 100% support him an abortion supporting democrat. He was, even, in the beginning, still referring to himself as "Father" and having Mass, but I believe he has since stopped that. I do not believe that his dismissal from the priesthood was right for the reasons given, especially when apparently he didn't hear anything at all from anyone before the letter was written, but he is going about this the wrong way, and actually is causing some schism within his followers. The comments under his tweets are horrendous. So many Catholics are asking him to leave the Church and start his own, and Frank, as far as I've seen, hasn't said anything regarding them either way. I no longer keep up on the story too much, so I may not have all the information, but I've definitely heard enough to know it's a dumpster fire, people are being sketchy on both sides, and my mental health will benefit from ignoring it. There was also something, and I'm not sure if this has anything to do with his dismissal, but I guess back in 2016 he used the body of an aborted baby in a Trump ad, and as far as I've seen, he hasn't said where or how he got it. That's pretty much when I stopped following the story. Human beings deserve better than being used for political gain.

[karasuyourbestie]

Is Jesus a stepbrother for the brothers? Is Mary their stepmother?! Dawn I need answers!