#o regret the decision so badly

[leahcee]

why am I even trying? what’s the point in trying if all I ever get is let down??

[mitchellpete]

Kinktober Day 13 - Hate sex

pairing: tom “iceman” kazansky x f!reader

cw: rough sex, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, penetration, dirty talk, hair pulling, light slapping

word count: 2073

kinktober masterlist here.

18+ ONLY | MINORS DNI

-

You’re certain you don’t hate anybody more.

And despite that, you still can’t help the quiet cry of his name as his lips travel down your neck. It’s really not your fault; he’s being incredibly rough about it. With Ice, it’s not just lips. It’s teeth, it’s tongue, it’s a huff of annoyance. He fucking hates the effect you have on him, just as you hate his effect on you. It’s there and it’s inevitable. And it was only a matter of time before you both did something about it. 

You’d been mingling at the O Club, chattering and laughing a little too hard at something Maverick said, smiling up at Slider, a hand on Hollywood’s arm. You wanted it to be nice and obvious, how much you got along with the rest of them. Ice watched from under his aviators and a glass of ice water. He swung around eventually, a smug look on his face as he talked to his RIO, to his rival, with a gleam in his eye. Ignoring your presence right in front of you. His turn to make it obvious, how much he didn’t care about you. He didn’t care that you got along with them, because guess what? He got along with everybody but you, too.

His efforts are funny now. He’s definitely not ignoring you anymore.

He’s got you against the wall in his housing unit, a short walk from the bar, body pressed tight against you. Following him here was an impulse decision, one that you’d made after all the pilots scrambled away and Ice finally turned to look at you. It was a glare, but there was something in his eyes that read Follow me. Because why else would he make his way to the exit, and then glance right at you again before slipping outside? You’d left your glass half full on the bar top and followed after him. 

You’d been very correct in assuming. 

It’s kind of sickening, how soft his lips are against your skin. Even despite the rough dragging of his teeth. You angle your head back to allow him access, letting him mark your neck. Probably a big regret the following morning, but fuck it, his mouth feels good. He’s putting it to good use for once. 

You yelp when he bites a little too hard, and immediately reach in between your bodies to shove at his chest, hard. Ice stumbles back, eyebrows creased together in irritation. You tongue at the corner of your mouth, pressing a hand flat against your dampened neck to soothe the sting, and then step forward to press the other hand to his chest again. For a second, you walk him backwards in the direction of his bedroom, but then he stops you by grabbing your wrist, wanting control. You scowl when he pulls you forward, and you land chest to chest. He matches your scowl, sneering down at you before you see the idea visibly cross his face. 

It happens quickly: Ice yanks you into his room, striding backwards with your wrist still in his grasp until the back of his knees hit the bed. The action pulls you down with him, down on your knees and it’s when he lays back and starts unbuckling his belt that you realize. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sak—” you start, but cut yourself off with a gasp when his fingers slide into your hair, pulling you down so that your face is inches away from his briefs.

“Make yourself useful,” he snaps, sliding his pants down with his free hand. The other tightens around your hair.

“Let go of me,” you warn between gritted teeth.

He smiles tauntingly and suddenly yanks you even closer, your mouth briefly brushing over his covered cock. It’s then that he lets go of your hair, but what the hell, you’re already in place. 

With a huff, you start pulling his briefs down, and he leans up on his elbows to watch. You avoid his gaze, unable to deny it to yourself how badly you need to do this. 

Your eyes slightly widen when you free his cock. Even half hard, it’s fucking big. His devious smile only widens, amused at your susceptibility. He’s so annoying. And you’re gonna wipe that stupid smile right off his lips. 

You’re not at all gentle when you take his shaft in your hand, leaning in to run your tongue along the underside. His smile drops, and he flinches with a groan, taken back. You squeeze at the tip and dance your tongue along his length, all the way from the top down to his balls, getting a very loud hiss out of him. 

It’s your turn to be amused. 

You watch as you take him apart, focusing on the bottom half of his shaft with your tongue, while your hand slathers the tip with a bit of saliva, massaging it in circles. It starts to leak precum, and Ice starts moaning freely.

You work him like that for a minute, your head bobbing with stride. Tongue rough, saliva pooling in your mouth and dripping out all over. You get the courage to look him in the eye, cocking a brow at his reactions. The Iceman himself. Trying not to lose his composure as you work your tongue on him. 

You decide to actually take him inside your mouth when he’s fully hard, the staggering size of it. Your hand slides down and you take the tip into the wet heat of your mouth, cheeks hollowing as you sink down around him as much as you can. His hips sputter, hands inadvertently sliding into your hair once more to yank you down. You nearly choke and let out a strangled noise. Your fingernails dig into the flesh of his thigh, and he groans again, lets you come up for air, and then pulls you back down once more. Your throat wasn’t at all ready for the intrusion, tears pooling in your eyes. At your stifled noises, Ice’s grasp on your hair loosens. You come up for air again, and then he’s not really pulling you down anymore, more so thrusting up into your mouth. His cock feels too big and uncomfortable, hitting the back of your throat and driving the unintentional tears down your cheeks.

It’s rough, and it’s messy, but you can’t deny how fucking turned on you are, pleasure coursing through your body despite the fact that he hasn’t even touched you yet.

Ice moves lightning fast, his thrusts into your mouth halting as he gets a different idea. You slide your mouth off of him with an exaggerated gasp for air.

He grabs at your arms and pulls you up into a heated kiss, your mouth overly wet and slick. It’s very brief, not meant to be intimate at all, so he pulls away almost immediately. Then he’s shoving you away from him, like you did earlier, and stands up off the mattress. Breathless but eager, you take the opportunity to unbutton your pants and slide them all the way off, along with your underwear. Ice scoffs from behind you, grabs at your arm to manhandle you again, and then with a harsh grip to the back of your neck, shoves you down face first, ass up onto the mattress.

“What the fuck, Ice?!” you yell, slightly muffled by the sheets. You grit your teeth again, exploding in anger, “Oh, you fucking asshole.”

A sharp, sudden spank to your ass jerks your entire body, unexpected and painful. 

“Fuck—oh, fuck you,” you groan out. 

“Hm, you’re about to,” he says, toneless.

You gasp at the feel of his dick, the tip rubbing through your wet folds and all you can do is fist at the sheets when he lines himself to enter you.

As if he read your mind—

“I didn’t even have to touch you, and you’re already—” he remarks, cutting himself off with a small hiss at the feel of your tight slit.

You groan, pleasure budding inside you. “Shut up. Shut up, I fucking hate you.”

Ice pushes in. The stretch is deliciously achy. Bigger than anything you’ve ever had, and you hate him for it. 

You’re ashamed at the noises that come out of you the more he fills you. The amusement returns to him. As long as you can’t see it, you think to yourself, almost glad you’re facing the mattress and not his stupid fucking face.

When he slides in all the way, balls pressed against your cunt, something switches inside you. You’re hungry for it. You start squirming, hips moving against him. He shuts it down immediately with another rough grasp to the back of your neck, using it for leverage as he slides out, and then back in. It’s slow for maybe a second, and you think he might take it easy and take his time, but no. A loud, sharp thrust hits you by surprise and then there’s nothing you can do but rock against him as he takes you, hard and quick. 

Your cheek rubs against the sheet with every harsh slam of his hips, face digging into the mattress from the force of his grasp on your neck. 

“F–fuck, oh fuck.”

He chuckles dryly, pace relentless and harsh. “Fucking know-it-all, look at you now,” he taunts. 

You gasp as his cock repeatedly hits that sensitive, spongy wall inside you, over and over and over and over again. You want to respond, want to shut him up, but it’s hard to even articulate a thought with the way he’s fucking you. Your attempted response turns into incoherent mumbling, muffled even more as your face sinks into the mattress. 

It’s like he wants to hear it, because his grip on your neck loosens and then he’s grabbing at your hair instead. Roughly, fingers tight around the strands, he pulls. 

The pleasure licks up your body from head to toe. There’s a slight sting in your scalp and down below from the harsh skin on skin, your clit swollen from the repeated slam of his balls. Your incoherent mumbling turns into higher pitched moans, and it’s only then that Ice allows himself to make some louder noises too—fucking bastard. 

His thrusts begin to falter just a little, which he won’t have, so he lets go of your hair and grabs at your arm again to flip you onto your back. He collapses onto the mattress beside you at the same time, his dick almost slipping out from how slick you’ve become. Leaning up on his side, he’s able to hit a different spot inside you, and you have to fight back the urge to spill your release. He likes how disheveled you look, how red your cheek is from rubbing on the mattress and how wet your lashes are from sucking his dick. He almost wants to lean down and kiss you again, but he opts not to. 

“Look at you,” he repeats, panting heavily through his teeth. “So fucking needy for me, huh?”

You can’t even respond, the build up threatening to spill. “I—Ice.. Oh, Ice.”

He leans in close over your face, hips still slamming into you, the noises loud and sharp. Grabbing at your jaw with an achy grip, he slaps his fingers against your cheek one, two times. “Use your words, come on,” he sneers. Another light slap. “Tell me.”

“Nnghh—Fuck. You,” you whimper, voice weak. “Fuckinghateyou.”

You cum soon after at the sight of his face, adorned in pleasure. Eyebrows pulled together, lips parted, cheeks flushed. Little ah noises spilling from his lips. He lets it go just seconds after you do, his face falling into the crook of your neck to moan into your shoulder. 

It’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had, your entire body shaking in ecstasy. Ice pulls out, rides the wave with an unintentional throw of his arm over your waist. He’s close, his body pressed tight behind you. He’s kind of shaking too, you notice. His breath is warm on your shoulder, almost comforting. You don’t know whether to roll over away from him or to take the opportunity to sink into him instead, just to see what he does about it.

He’s probably tired because he doesn’t budge, allowing the feeling to course through his body. That and your warmth.

What an asshole.

You still hate him. Even in the floaty afterglow.

You think.

[witchthewriter]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐭𝐑 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

Warnings: not self-harm scars, but there are mentions of war/battle and violence, talks of being a prisoner of war

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ        

Legolas’ is here. 

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲: You’ve been in many battles, fights and wars. And your s/o is seeing your scars for the first time. 

𝐀𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐧

・It was late evening, both of you had had your supper, but even after you had finished eating, you were still sitting at the oak table

・Unwinding, you were both relaxing after a big day

・Aragorn was smoking pipeweed, and you were happy with your wine

・The snow was falling outside and you were both rugged up

・The conversation from the day had found its way into your chambers 

・Although there was no threat of war, it was still spoken about since Aragorn was the ruler 

・He was no stranger to seeing the horrors of war, it was drastically different when he saw the effects of it on your body

・He was devastated. 

・His gruff voice asked about what you had been through

・Aragorn filling both your cups in celebration of surviving 

・Though neither of you were drunk, the affect of the drink was starting to make you both loosen up

   “Do you regret them?” Aragorn said suddenly, breaking the impregnated silence

    “I don’t.” You said after a while, insinuating that you didn’t see your scars as a negative thing 

   It was quiet for a while. But not the type of silence that was awkward. Nothing with Aragorn felt awkward, nothing. 

    After taking another sip from your cup, you asked him the same, “Do you?” 

“For some...I do.” 

・He said it without looking in your eyes

・And he took a long puff of his pipe. After blowing the smoke from his mouth, he reached across the table and took ahold of your hand

   “I just want you to know. I love you.”

𝐄𝐨𝐰𝐲𝐧

・She hadn’t been in many battles herself, so seeing your scars took her breath away

・Many long slices that had healed badly, some healed well

・All depending on how many healers had been there during the fights 

・Eowyn’s long hair travelled down her back in a braid that you had done earlier

・Making it so her hair didn’t fall in her face as she trained 

    “That looks like it hurt,” she said absentmindedly, reaching out to stroke the reddish coloured scar. 

  Without meaning to, you laughed and nodded enthusiastically. “It bloody did.”

・Her heart broke for you

・But she laughed lightly at your response

・You were both standing, staring out the window which overlooked the village below

・Her hand snaked down to yours and squeezed 

   “I’m sorry,” she whispered, entwining her fingers, still looking out the window

“Thank you, but I did what I had to do. And this is what came of it.” 

・She turned to you then, and leant her forehead against yours

“I won’t let you get hurt again.” 

    “And I you.” 

𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐫

・Sighed when he saw them, hanging his head in defeat. “I wish you never had to go through that.”

 You smiled at him, “No other choice, my lord.” 

・Although you meant the name as a joke, a teasing nickname, he took it in a different way - 

・Like he could have somehow stopped this from happening. That he had the power to stop it. 

・He was very upset

・And went to sit by himself for a bit

・You didn’t go after him; sometimes people just need time to process their feelings. In other words - to feel their emotions...and work through them

・When he came back, Boromir got on both of his knees and held your hand against his face. 

・Shocked, you let him lead the situation

    “Y/n, forgive me. Please forgive me.” 

・Your shock didn’t waver, it didn’t falter - only grew

“Boromir, why would you ask for my forgiveness?” You knelt as well, so you were on the same level.

    “Because your family has lived in my kingdom for so long. Every decision my forefathers have made led you to endure this. They are to blame, and therefore, I am to blame.” 

・Tears welled in both of your eyes and he stroked his thumb against your cheek

       “I will not forgive you. Because there is no need for you to apologise. I know you will be a just ruler, but I will not have you apologise for my decisions.”

・Kneeling, he took you in his arms and hugged you fiercely. His hand firmly holding your head to his chest. 

𝐀𝐫𝐰𝐞𝐧

・Her gentle voice soothes you, it was the end of another battle and she was healing your wounds 

・As your partner, she tended to you without breaks. You had your own rooms that she took you to, getting help from the other’s to move you to the bed

・She was with you day and night

・So she saw your scars when you were unconscious and her heart broke from what she saw

・Arwen never wanted you to go through the hateful thing that was war. And seeing the results of that on your skin made her want to kill every person who did that to you

・When you finally awoke, she was asleep next to you

・But the moment you stirred, she jumped up and hurried to your side

    “My love, how do you feel?” 

“...sore,” you said in a croaky mumble 

・She smiled, going to get you some salve and drink that would mull the pain 

・When you realised you were topless, you deflated

・And when she came back, you stared at her, trying to see if anything had changed in her since seeing your scars 

・When you were about to talk, she beat you to it 

    “Yes, I’ve seen them. And I’m sorry you went through that.” 

・You were glad she spoke, because you still didn’t have the strength to explain 

・It was like Arwen could sense it; or maybe she just understood beings better than most. Because she didn’t push for it, she didn’t ask you too many questions. 

   “I can do my best to fade them as well, if you wish.”

・It took you a while to decide, but at the end of it. You decided against it. 

   “They’re apart of my story.”

・And again, she understood. 

𝐅𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐫 (this is where talks of being a prisoner of war is)

・You were both up late talking about life and the conversation went to war and what you had both experienced

・A deep conversation that you both didn’t intend on having 

・It was late night, with the stars above you, a fire in front of you and two pales of ale next to you

・Faramir didn’t mean for the conversation to go to a darker place 

・But you were in the beginnings of your courtship and you wanted to learn more about each other 

・It wasn’t until you took off your large jacket and left on your undershirt that he noticed the raised slices on your skin

・He took a sharp intake of breath, seeing your arms alone...it broke his heart to see just how hard you had fought for what you believe in

・Faramir didn’t know how to bring it up, but you knew what he was talking about

・You had been a prisoner of war, and had been tortured for information...but still held strong. They got nothing out of you but a bunch of spitting and swears 

・It was Aragorn who had found you, and both you and Faramir were eternally grateful 

・But Faramir hadn’t seen how bad the orcs had hurt you

・Their brutality was obvious and it took everything in Faramir not to scream out in agony and hatred

・You, who he loved so much. Who made him feel whole, who made him feel like the world made sense, who gave him a purpose - a will to live

・The fact that someone had hurt you so badly... he wished he could return the favour a hundred times over 

[mechanicalpiper]

helluo....would u write a henchman who Really likes cats and villain who has cat based power (which technically means they also have the habits of a cat (i.e loaf, etc etc.)) . wirh the ears n tails n stuff

HENCHMAN X VILLAIN? SAY NO MORE!

Love this prompt, was a really fun write :3

Got fuckin sappy with this one (I mean tbf I have for most of them but you know)

Snippet #6

Henchman peeked up from their work again for maybe the thousandth time so far- they couldn't keep themself focused on the paperwork on their desk with that view constantly at the side of the room!

Villain was laying prone across one of the couches in the room. They were usually meant for people waiting on Henchman for meetings and whatnot but about an hour ago Villain just sat down and got comfy, idly batting around a small pet toy in front of them.

Henchman couldn't take their eyes off- they'd barely completed half a page of the stack in front of them since Villain settled there.

They just looked so goddamn cute!! Their fluffy little cat ears flicking around playfully, their genuine enjoyment of and intent focus on the toy in front of them despite their typical seriousness, their generally adorable face looking so content right now-

"Do you need something, Henchman?"

They snapped out of their daydream at Villain's firm voice calling them out for losing focus, still just as stern and precise as ever despite their adorably tonally unfitting current activity.

"N-Not at all, Villain!" Henchman hastily lied, directing their attention back at their paperwork.

"Then don't lose focus."

Henchman looked down at their paper, trying their hardest to keep their attention on it... but god, they couldn't take their mind off Villain. They so badly wanted to just... pet them, feel that soft fur, hear lil sounds of contentment from them...

After about a minute of failing to keep their mind on anything but their adorable feline boss, they sighed and looked back up.

They weren't sure if asking this was a good idea, but they figured it was either this or disobey Villain by continuing to get nothing done, and they'd rather do absolutely anything than disobey Villain.

"V-Villain?"

They looked up from the toy again to see Henchman... blushing. They weren't sure why, but it was honestly kind of adorable to see. "Yes?"

"I'm, uh... well- uh, I'm getting a little too... d-distracted to focus? Can I take a small break-?"

They hastily whispered something after 'break' that Villain couldn't quite make out. They cocked their head to the side in a way that made Henchman melt just a little more.

"What was that last part, Henchman?"

"O-OH, uh, well, it- uh, well, y'know, it's like- well, I mean-"

"Shh." Villain interrupted, causing Henchman to stop instantly. "Take your time."

It flustered Henchman even more, but they kept it together enough to take a few deep breaths and gather their thoughts.

"Okay... I also- well, I didn't mean to, but-"

"Focus."

"U-Understood. I... asked if I could maybe... pet you a little, too...?"

Henchman was both blushing like mad and was nervous as all hell. It was such a stupid thing to ask, especially to someone this powerful, notorious, and rather amoral. They braced for the reacti-

"Eh, sure. I've got nothing better to do."

Henchman blinked a few times in surprise, processing that they were actually just granted permission before being completely overtaken by excitement.

"REALLY?" They squealed embarrassingly loud, still trying to be careful just in case.

"Ow- Quiet! But... yes." They grumbled back.

"Q-Quiet! Got it!!" Henchman stuttered out, quickly and eagerly going around their desk to the couch. They kneeled next to the couch to be directly next to Villain's head laying on it instead of awkwardly sitting next to their sprawled form.

They took another quick deep breath when they got there to steady themself- they didn't want to be TOO overzealous and make Villain regret their decision. Keeping themself calm for Villain's sake, they gently reached a hand out to brush it across Villain's head... and they let out a gasp, almost melting on the spot.

It was so, so much better than they could've imagined.

It was soft. Not just Villain's precious cat ears, but their beautiful hair entirely! Villain's ears even twitched and they let out a small, adorable sigh on contact!

What got to Henchman the most, though was the temperature.

It was so... warm. Villain was so warm.

Henchman couldn't remember the last time they felt anything like it.

They reached their hand slightly forward to scratch behind Villain's ears. The little sigh that escaped, the visible release of tension as Villain felt the scratch... Henchman had never seen anything so precious in their life, they couldn't get enough of it!

They moved their other hand up as well to pet Villain with both, who let out a typical catlike drawn-out, squeaky yawn in response that almost brought Henchman to tears.

Still maintaining contact, they slowly went from kneeling by the couch to sitting on top of it just next to Villain... who pulled themself forward to rest their head on Henchman's lap.

So much built up serotonin flooded through Henchman, they felt like they could've died on the spot, but they were more than content with that happening by now. The feeling of Villain on their lap, accepting their affection like this... the immense, wonderful sensation of warmth wasn't just physically. They felt so, so comfortable. Safe. Content.

Minutes passed as Henchman cherished every passing second they got to spend like this. They didn't realize how much they'd been wanting... any kind of comforting touch at all, let alone from Villain.

Villain didn't expect to like it... but here they were, relaxed in Henchman's lap, feeling their touch, hearing their precious, flustered, loving, grateful little noises and reactions... they could get used to this. It felt amazing to make Henchman so happy.

As minutes passed, Villain slowly began to doze off. From another small yawn to precious little mumbles to the tiny, slow breaths of sleep, it was impossibly easy to drift off in an environment this comfortable.

It didn't take long for Henchman to follow.

The most peaceful, restful night of either of their lives followed... and even better ones were soon to follow.

Neither had felt so safe before.

[shcatsscratches]

Maybe someone can help me...........................

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away. 

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

A moment on the lips, forever on the hips.

Thinner is the winner.

You can never be too rich or too thin.

Hunger hurts but starving works.

The flat stomach is nice, but a concave one is perfect.

You will be tempted quite frequently. You will have to choose whether to enjoy yourself wholly for those 20 minutes or so that you will be consuming excess calories, or whether you will despise yourself cordially for the next three days.

Eat to live, but don't live to eat.

(What nourishes me, also destroys me.)

It's simple: You decide once and for all that you aren't going to eat, and there are no further decisions to make.

In the body, as in sculpture, perfection is attained not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

It's not deprivation, it's liberation.

Being normal is over rated.

Food is like art, to be looked at not eaten.

Every time you say no thank you to food, you say yes please to thin.

You have a choice to make, do you want to be "Normal" and overweight like the rest of the world, Or do you want to be unique and be that girl every overweight person wants to be? It's all up to you.

Think higher of yourself, your too good to put that in your body.

When I wake, I'm empty, light-headed. I like to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling light. For me, food's only interest lies in how little I need, how strong I am, how well I can resist, each time achieving another small victory of the will.

The difference between want and need is self control.

They always say they're concerned with me, about my health, when all they want to do is control me. They want to pin me down and force-feed me with lies, with what they call love.

The greasy fry, it cannot lie, its truth is written on your thigh.

They say I could die if I get to thin and I tell them I Could die getting to fat also. The difference is dieting thin is a challenge and I am not one to give up one a challenge.

We are prisoners of our taste buds - BREAK FREE!

I want my collarbones and hips to be as sharp as my mind.

You can learn to love anything I think, if you need to badly enough. I trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry. If my stomach contracts, or I wake up feeling nauseated, or I'm light-headed, or have a hunger headache or better yet, all of the above, it means I'm getting thinner, if feels good. I feel strong, on top of myself, in control.

Denying yourself food is not true deprivation - never being thin is.

There is no try, there is only DO.

You have such a pretty face, why don't you try dieting?

Pain is temporary; Pride is forever.

An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person.

Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment.

Empty is pure, starving is the cure.

Feed the soul; let the body fast.

I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.

If it tastes good, It's trying to kill you.

An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist – but ordinary's just not good enough today.

The word is control. That's my ultimate - to have control.

There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, 'It all depends on me'.

Food is the most primitive form of comfort.

Act as if it were impossible to fail.

Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.

You want food? Look at those THIGHS!

Fridge pickers wear big knickers.

Don't eat anything today that you'll regret tomorrow.

Craving is only a feeling.  

Bones define who we really are, let them show.

Giving in to food shows weakness, be strong, and you'll be better than everyone else

Do not give up what you most want for what you want at the moment

An imperfect body reflects an imperfect soul

Craving is only a feeling

An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist, but ordinarily is just not good enough today

If it was easy, everybody will be thin

If it tastes good, it's trying to kill you

Calories CAN NOT make you happy

Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better

The beginning is always today

It doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop

It's the mind that makes the body

Every time you say no to food, you say yes to thin

Eat to live, don't live to eat

When you resist the pain of hunger, it means your not a slave of your body

Don't eat! Do you want to stay fat?

Being thin is more important than everything!

You want food? Look at those thighs!

Bones define who we really are! Let them show!

Do you really want to be that weight for the rest of your life?

Eat less, weigh less

Thin is beautiful, even thinner is perfection

Anorexia is a lifestyle, not a diet

I only feel beautiful when I'm hungry

Skip dinner, end up thinner

Respect yourself, put down the fork

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

Thin is perfection, I'll die trying to achieve it

Your mind should always be on your diet! 

[pavardscherie]

Hi can I request something angsty with Benji where he used to date a player from Bayern’s women’s team but they broke up after she transferred teams and he sees her for the first time at a fancy event but she’s already moved on with someone else

if we ever meet again, benjamin pavard

summary benji & you used to date before you transferred to the women's team of borussia dortmund for a better chance to play. at the glorious bayern munich event, the two of you meet again. pairing benjamin pavard & female reader

izzy's talk. here we go again & again. i've literally watched benji videos the entire weekend, and i don't know, he's not leaving me. haha. pushing through requests now as long as we haven't moved apartments yet. the very detailed requests take much longer, cause i'm really trying to keep in the requested stuff, so they're still going to be written, no worries.

he did not remember how many weeks, certainly months, have passed since the last heartwarming conversation. excluding the heated arguments shortly before and while breaking up, the image of your bright smile radiating comfort off in waves stayed deeply burned in the back of his head. it was impossible to push it away since the night, you left the apartment with tears staining your cheeks.

it was his fault. he knew that. he blamed himself for each little drop that blemished your face with sadness and hurt. but staring at you, swaying and laughing from across the room didn't bandage the broken pieces of his heart. it was done, finished since you moved cities and had another man by your side.

by the way, your eyes twinkled in the bright, yellow light from the lamps above, and you pressed your fingertips to your chest while giggling about his words, benjamin knew, you moved on and he was certainly screwed for still believing.

haunted by the demons of his past, the regret from decisions he made, and they all had your face. a couple of teammates, who became like extended family, already informed benjamin about how much he has changed since the breakup. quieter, less laughter, and aggressive in too many innocent situations on the pitch.

badly cut fingernails scratched over his forehead, letting the long fingers brush through the curls afterward. being his old self again after the breakup wasn't possible. anything connected with you.

it was beautiful, certainly a rare relationship. and yet, ruined. and he had to act like it did not bother him anymore when your beautiful eyes found his figure on the other side of the room. glued to the ground, shifting slightly from the left to the right foot while forcing himself to smile at least mildly.

you moved on over the past weeks, it took you long to forget about benjamin pavard. the night it ended, broke more than just your heart, and it was difficult to puzzle the pieces back together until a new man appeared in your life. showing you a glimpse of happiness again. nothing compared to the relationship with benjamin, but yet enough to feel alive again.

brushing a thick strand carefully out of your face, you excused yourself from the man by your side and crossed the room toward the football player. you did not hate him, nor despise him for his decision. after all, benjamin wasn't made for long-distance relationships. seeing each other would have been almost impossible with the busy schedules of both. stuffed with games, events, meetings, and somewhere between time to sleep.

watching you intensely while walking through the crowds of people, associated with bayern munich, his eyes stayed glued to the movements of your body. along the way, the other guests disappeared and the loud conversations vanished into thin air. for merely a couple of seconds, it was just you and him. again.

"benjamin pavard," you cheered, stretching out the arms to offer him a warm hug and pulling him out o the trance-like state. a reminder that he wasn't alone with you anymore. "i did not expect to see you. you've always hated those events and the tight suits." shaking his head with a chuckle about how good you knew him, especially remembering the little details about him, he reached forward and pulled you tightly against his chest.

and if you moved on, with another man, who was waiting across the room for you, then why did benjamin's loamy scent smell like coming home again.

"will you believe me if i tell you that lucas and choupo dragged me to the venue, and then left me alone?" benjamin's question was genuine, because it was actually what happened, hours prior the start of the event. begging and long explanations about how he had to leave the house once in a while for other things in life than training sessions and games. impossible to decline them.

but the warmth of your embrace made him feel like he belonged in your arms. it immediately found a way into his veins, igniting a small spark of hope. the one, he had carried with him since the breakup. but when you slowly let go, taking a step back to increase the personal bubble, it felt like the day you left.

"i believe that. they are really convincing." you giggled, remembering how lucas talked you into telling benjamin how you felt about him. hernandez noticed the small glances of jealousy when another girl caught the french player's attention, or the envy twinkling in the corners of your eyes, when women touched him. without lucas, the relationship would have never been a thing.

"my parents are still asking about you." benjamin confessed, changing the topic to the break up once again. somehow, when he wanted to talk about something else, his mind always reminded him about the day, you left.

a warm summer day. you just received the news about the great transfer and wanted to share them with benji. but instead of being happy for you, or with you, he questioned the entire relationship, based on one change. no matter how bright the sun shone outside, or the chirping of the birds, which turned into a comforting melody, inside of the apartment, tears rolled and screams were exchanged.

"you haven't told them about.." you trailed off, not daring to say the word us after it has been destroyed. pointing a slender finger between your body and his towering figure, was all you could do to reference to the loss of words.

shaking his head, the quiet chuckle and following smile surprised you. but it wasn't happiness. sarcasm tugged on the corners of his mouth, the disbelief about the past decision. "no, i couldn't disappoint them after already breaking two hearts."

"oh benji.." you muttered, feeling the tears on your waterline. meeting him again after being together for almost two years, and sharing such an intimate bond, made it difficult to act like it did not bother you. the way he fought with the tears himself, attempting to hide the sadness and regret.

benjamin's heart broke for a second time, slowly and painfully as he realised once again, what he lost the night. instead of accepting the distance and trying to figure out how to handle it, he decided against your love, and being with you.

and he regretted nothing more than that one night.

[skrunklepng]

OFFICIAL SKRIM REF CAUSE HE DESERVES IT <3

he likes pierce the veil and is a scene kid for SURE

l o r e 👇👇

skrim is the son of Eros (aka cupid) and a succubus named Scarlet

he has minor shapeshifting abilities from his dads side to make himself as appealing as possible

in his "hunting" form (left) hes quite the charmer, putting on a completely fake facade. Skrim doesnt get any s3xual pleasure from his hunting like some succubi/incubi do, so any charm he has is entirely for the goal of killing his prey for fuel (they get very little energy from typical food)

skrim's father was gone before he was even born and he lost his mother, scarlet, early on so growing up he was more or less apprenticed by a handful of succubi who taught him the skills to hunt. when scarlet got pregnant with skrim she gave up killing to protect Eros's reputation in the music industry, but this caused her to not get enough energy to feed herself snd her son. by the time skrim was born she went rabid with hunger, going on a killing spree. a peace keeper, afraid for his life and owning an illegal gun, shot her and she died from the injury (dont worry they lost their job). the entire incident was swept under the rug by Eros's lawyers to preserve his job and he is still a successful musician to this day, having had Ally with Leona and 3 more kids with his current wife

when skrim was 16 ellie, another succubus and a friend of scarlet, found him and took him in, hoping to teach him the ways of getting energy from s3ggs alone (which is the legal alternative to killing) to save him from a life of imprisonment. skrim struggles with this very badly as he doesnt enjoy s3ggs at all. regardless ellie thinks of him as family and they have an aunt/nephew relationship, though she never told skrim about his parents

fun fact, skrim never existed legally until he met ellie. when she took him to get registered as a citizen in Community City he was forced to pick a name for himself. due to his "fuck all this" attitude about life he jokingly wrote down "skrimblo dimblo" as his name. later he would soon regret this decision and started going by skrim cause that sounded cooler. while the name changing process is free and relatively easy, he was too lazy to go back to the courthouse and thats his legal name to this day

skrim is ally's half brother, both being children of Eros. due to the passing of scarlet and Eros not knowing what happened to skrim, ally grew up as an only child. they didnt find out they were siblings until ally had started working at ellies strawberry delights for around a year when sorren pointed out their similarities and ally had to contact her dad who had been out if the picture for years at that point

[fire-fist-ann]

Star crossed lovers

According to the rumors deep in the vast forest of nymphs and other creatures that walked around the land .There was a lonely kitsune who had everything life had to offer.  He had everything he could ever want, everything that was but a lover.  Across the years he had found men who wanted to appease him by offering their bodies and souls laid bare to him . But even that was not enough for him , humans all died so young and so much faster than he would have liked. The Kitsune ran his fingers through his black silky locks, sighing at the gifts left at his shrine once more .  He had told humans time and time again that he did not require gifts or even food.  His pointy ears twitched hearing the jingle of the totem around his shrine he had to alert him of anyone snooping around. Izou arched a thin black eyebrow as he stepped out of his shrine, his long black and golden robes dragging behind him on the ground . His shoes clacked as he turned the corner.  He had to suppress a gasp seeing what looked to be a Nymph .  He had heard rumors of a garden Nymph getting into everyone’s offerings. “ And who might you be?” He asked, his voice lacking any amusement despite the curl of his red painted lips . The Nymph in question let out a loud yelp tripping over his own feet and landing right into the koi pond. He sat up with a fish in his hair , he blew a strand out of his eyes . As he sat there soaked his white tunic sticking to his chest . He let out a loud laugh rubbing the back of his head“Ah I'm not making a very good first impression am I?, the name is Thatch , what’s your name?” Izou pinched the bridge of his nose  “ Izou is my name , so Thatch this does not explain what you are doing around my shrine. “ Thatch’s face tinted pink “ Ah I wanted to meet you but I heard you liked lava lilies so I was trying to place them with your offerings in hope you would come out.” “ If that was the case you could have just knocked on my shrine door, instead of looking like an utter fool” “ I do look pretty dumb huh? But I think it was worth it, you're much more extraordinary in person if I say so myself” . He said flashing a cheesy smile in the Kiatune’s direction . Izou blinked before he felt his face turn red, damn him it was like he was trying to get him worked up on purpose . He could withstand human men; they were nothing but a means to an end but this man was different . Maybe it was due to the fact he was a creature like himself. “ Flattery will get you nowhere you know , you have to fix my flowers and pay for scaring my poor koi fish,” “O-oh sorry about that , I can replant the flowers but uh how can I make it up to you?” Izou sighed, pushing his hair out of his eyes “ Well since you gave me such a headache . You may come to my shrine for a cup of tea and tell me why you wanted to see me so badly.” Thatch winced before his whole face lit up like the sun jumping out of the koi pond right over to him “ Really?!” “ Hold it, you may come once you are wearing something not so wet and flimsy , ring the bell when you come back.” Izou said as he turned on his heel walking back into his shrine the doors locking in place. Izou put his hand over his face. What was he even doing at this point? It's not like he could back off this now . He just hoped he would not regret this decision. He was only going to have a cup of tea with Thatch, that was all, so why was his heart racing. Like it once did when he had a new kitsune .                                             xx

Izou jolted hearing the bell ring of his shrine . He stood up opening the door to see that same garden Nymph from before . Thank the heavens he was wearing something that would not make Izou feel like he would explode . “It’s nice to see you can dress up,“ “I always dress to impress! “ Thatch countered with a arched eyebrow Izou shook his head “Just get in, I made the tea already, “ he said before pausing “what’s that in your hands?” Thatch let out a laugh “I like to cook so i asked your worshippers what foods you like so i made some onigiri, “ Izou could not help but to look surprised at that. A red tint matching his lipstick spread over his cheeks .“Is that so then it would be a waste to not give them at least a try,” He mused out loud with a sliver of a smile. “You won’t find anyone who can cook better than me, just so you know, “ Thatch said wiggling his brown brows at him getting in his face. Izou moved his hand pushing his face from his “Don’t get ahead of yourself there dumpling,” “Eh? Are you saying i'm chubby or something?” Thatch asked. “Mhm if the shoe fits.“ Thatch gasped pushing him over before he paled ah shit this day really was not going the way he would like. But it felt so natural to be around the Kistune like this it almost felt as if he knew him in another lifetime. Izou chuckled as he poured two cups of his finest green tea handing it to Thatch “Here drink before you say something stupid,“ He raised an eyebrow but took it, sipping it, his lips puckering. Oh that was bitter he forced a smile “It’s delicious thank you,“ Thatch forced himself to get out just barely able to. Izou’s lips curled up  “You don’t have to lie to appease me, green tea is not for everyone,“ Thatch relaxed “I was not trying to be insulting the taste is good but it’s not my thing:” Izou leaned back “So tell me why did you want to meet me was it because of the rumors of my beauty or something more>“ “Truthfully I wanted a friend, I have none here, sure there is the giant man, but he sees me more as a son, rather than a friend,” Thatch remarked with a fond expression on his face. “Ah whitebeard tends to be that way, you want to be friends? My answer is no,” Izou said as he took a sip out of his teacup. Thatch’s chocolate brown eyes went wide “Huh?! Why not?!” He exclaimed in complete and utter shock. Izou snorted “As ifI would be friends with someone who fell into my pond and scared my poor koi fish, you lack elegance, “ Instead of being turned away Thach grinned wider “ I will make you be my friend, you'll have to admit it.” “Fine then will give you one year to make me admit to being your friend,” “Challenge accepted! And just know I plan to win.” 

[coollovelost]

Desabafo 8

… Me parte o coração muitas coisas. Uma delas e ver a confiança de uma pessoa indo embora. Quem dirá, duas ou três pessoas que você considerava muito. Posso até tentar relevar e tentar ver como uma coisa que acontece em nossas vidas. Mas para quem vê essas pessoas como Porto Seguro, não, não é fácil. Cometi alguns erros, reconheço esses erros, deixei meu ponto de vista ao olhar de todo mundo ao meu redor, expus meus sentimentos para pessoas, que hoje eu sei que não devo confiar, senti coisas que não gosto de sentir e que são unicamente meus demônios que as vezes falam mais alto que eu mesmo. Um deles é o medo de se sentir sozinho. Outro deles é a sentimento de exclusão. E além desses dois, ainda tem um outro muito bem escondido que é a loucura de achar que todos ao meu redor estão falando de mim. O que me deixa extremamente chateado é ver que pessoas que viveram comigo por anos, não conseguiram ver isso, e simplesmente se pegaram acreditando em uma ideia completamente contraditória do que realmente aconteceu. - Bom, uma hora ou outra vamos percebendo quem é quem, e cabe a nós abrirmos o olho, ou aceitar uma ideologia controvérsia de amizade.

(...)

I don’t know what is going trough their minds, but I just don’t get it. Let me say everything that happened from the beginning.

First part, I called a guy from Brazil to live with us. When we was talking about a lot of things day by day, he was texting me things like “just friends” don’t do. I started to feed this feeling inside me more and more. Than he got here, we agreed to share my queen size bed, so would be cheaper to split the rent with my others 2 friends in the apartment. So, we were living like that, and that was a night we had something. It was his hand and my hand coming together, cuddling each other, sleeping like a couple as my understanding. So I felt some erection, yes, because it was me and him laying on bed together. This episode repeated for some nights, and there was a day I just asked him what was happening between us. He told me we were just friends. I asked him, but friends don’t sleep and don’t do the things we’re doing here. And he came saying he had some friends in Brazil who did the same thing with him, and that was normal. At that point I told him; JUST BE IN MY POSITION, to feel how I feel. Being cuddled by a guy that I have feelings for, and the guy saying that we are just friends and the things we done at night it’s not more than friendship. C’mon. (...) So after this we decided to not do this anymore, and start to be real real friends. 1 week later we just did the same thing, and I regret, deeply in my heart. Cause if I didn’t have done that again, now I would have my peace of mind, not a disturbing one.  So, We went to NYC together and we really had a good time there. For everybody that I know, they came to me asking how was NYC because is was their dream going there. Me, particularly, I didn’t love, I just liked. Not even this I think, cause everything is too expensive, I felt unsecured a lot, and the streets has a lot of trash and mouses. Yes. The central park is beautiful, the Empire state, gorgeous. The Brooklyn Bridge, perfect. But these are the main points for the tourists, so  of course I will feel very good being there. But talking about city, I just liked. So when the people nearby me asked about how was the tryp because they wanted to go there as well, I said it was perfect and that I loved. I would not say bad things for those who wanted so badly go there. In NCY, it was my birthday, so me and him hung out that night and we got too drunk. Really drunk. When we got at the hotel, we went to sleep cause we had to wake up early to take the flight, so we did that. Well, after we fell asleep, I woke up with his hand touching my parts, wanting to do things, like sex and everything else. Did I go further with that? Of course I did. Yes, being the stupid one once again. But before that specific thing happened, I went back on my decision and I told him we were just friends and we should stop. We helped each other baiting. Yes. But it was just that and we went to sleep. All this happen in NYC.

Second part, After we came back from the tryp, the things were weird, but we were just faking everything was good and nothing happened. I got really sad, because I was feeling alone more than ever, and I was missing that “thing” that we were having for months. As I was really sad, I always went to friends next to me to blurt out about everything that was going on between me and him. So I went to Patty and Edward, two friends from work to talk about him. And for me that was ok. I just didn’t know that in the next months, these people would say everything to him. It was a mess. In the next one I will tell you.

I knew. Deeply inside, that I just had to fix this feeling inside me before moving on in my life.

[ivpapaemeritusiv]

Chapter 32: And You Know That It Takes Two

Summary: In this chapter, Addy finds her way back into Papa's heart, much to Swiss's dismay. But will it last? Can she remain faithful to Copia from here on out, or is she doomed to succumb to her heart's desires?

Word Count: 5,400 words

Addy awoke to find that it was already noon. The absence of Papa’s touch and words since their intense confrontation the night before weighed heavily on her heart. Before, he would never leave without saying goodbye to her, kissing her gently, promising to be back as soon as possible. She couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever find it in his heart to forgive her.

For now, Addy pushed those thoughts aside, as she had a mission to fulfill. She had to talk to Swiss. The man was usually found in one of two places. Either he would be in his room fiddling around with his guitar, or outside near the tour buses, sneaking a smoke to calm his nerves. Given everything that had transpired in the last couple of days she considered the latter.

Sure enough, she found him there talking to Rain. He was deep in conversation—most likely discussing music. These guys were all passionate about music after all. The sun’s rays caressed his skin and highlighted his complexion—a harmonious blend of darkness and lightness. With each curl of brown hair, there was an air of elegance. A subtle 5 o’ clock shadow added a hint of rugged charm to his face.

Swiss glanced up, meeting Addy’s gaze with raised eyebrows, acknowledging her presence. He paused his conversation with Rain, putting it on hold momentarily, as he made his way towards her. With his hands tucked into his pockets, he approached her slowly, a mix of curiosity and concern in his eyes.

He noticed that her face was less swollen. With a gentle touch, he caressed her cheek and softly spoke, “It looks much better today.”

Addy’s conflicted heart yearned for his touch, and she couldn’t resist the urge to grab his hand and hold it firmly in place where he had caressed her. In that moment, their connection felt both comforting and bittersweet, as she knew she had to soon confront the difficult decision the Cardinal was forcing her to make.

“Let me guess,” Swiss said, his voice tinged with preemptive sadness, “He’s not going to let me see Meliora.”

Addy cringed at the very thought of the Cardinal keeping Swiss’s child from him, and she quickly reassured him saying, “No, Swiss, not at all. He actually agreed to continue letting you see him.”

Swiss chuckled ironically at the situation, acknowledging the twisted sense of gratitude he felt towards the Cardinal for granting him permission to see his own child, “I guess I should be thankful, huh?”

Addy empathized with the man, but she also wanted him to know how difficult it was for her to even ask Copia. With a compassionate tone she replied, “I understand how you feel, Swiss. Don’t you think I of all people would understand what it feels like?”

Addy, overwhelmed by guilt and conflict, glanced down at her feet, seeking a momentary respite from the weight of Swiss’s solemn gaze, “It wasn’t easy for me to bring this up to him. I hope you can at least appreciate that.”

The ghoul, feeling remorseful for making Addy feel bad, gently lifted her face with his fingers, urging her to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I just feel like I’m trapped in some sick fucking twilight zone.”

His voice was filled with longing and desperation. He yearned to whisk her and her children away under the cover of darkness so badly.

“You know, I wish I could save you, Addy. I would take you and your clan of tiny Munsters away in the middle of the night. All you have to do is say the word.”

As tempting as it was, Addy couldn’t bring herself to ever leave the Cardinal. She wouldn’t dare take his children away from him. The guilt would be unbearable, a burden she couldn’t live with. With a heavy heart, she looked at Swiss, her eyes filled with regret and sorrows.

He didn’t need Addeline to answer out loud. The expression on her face spoke volumes.

“But you don’t want that,” he said very matter of fact.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Do you still love me, Addy?” Swiss asked, his voice filled with vulnerability. He searched her eyes, longing for a reassuring answer but knowing he wouldn’t receive one.

Addy simply shrugged her shoulders and said, “I love you both.” Her words carried a mix of honesty, but also uncertainty. It was clear that she cared deeply for the ghoul and her husband, but certain factors made it difficult for her to fully commit to one path.

Swiss shook his head with disappointment, his voiced filled with resignation as he replied, “There’s not enough room in your heart for two people, Adds.”

He struggled to understand and accept Addeline’s feelings, his emotion evident in his expression. Before walking off he made a request, “Bring my son to me, will ya? I wanna spend some time with him.”

“It’s time for him to eat,” Addy admitted.

Swiss, quickly replying, “Then bring me a damn bottle.”

It seemed like an act of spite, a way to assert his presence and remind Addy as well as the Cardinal that their child belonged to him too. And with that, he turned and headed back to his conversation with Rain.

*

Two weeks flew by, and the Cardinal made sure to keep his distance from Addeline, although he had permitted her to join in on stage once again. He only spoke to her when necessary and he spent his nights on the tour bus. It was time for yet another show. The set up was taking longer than expected due to inclement weather. Addy couldn’t find her boys anywhere, so she had not yet been to rehearsals. She thought they would be with the nanny, but she couldn’t seem to locate the woman. She thought to herself “Papa should know where they are.” With that in mind, she set off to find them in the green room, confident that he would be getting ready for the show. Sure enough he was there, sitting in a chair getting ready to have his usual ghastly face paint applied. She was always intrigued by the transformation he would undergo for a show. She ran to him frantically.

“Tesoro,” Papa asked, quickly turning from the make-up artist, “Shouldn’t you be practicing?”

“Kaisarion? Meliora? Where are they? I can’t find them.”

Papa looked back towards the mirror, ignoring the woman’s reflection, and laughed under his breath, “I’ll give you one guess, darling.”

She remained silent, not feeling like engaging in a confrontation before they went on stage.

“They do adore him,” Papa continued, “It seems his irresistible charm effects everyone in this family.”

“I just wanted to know that he was somewhere safe,” she turned to walk away.

He yanked her shirt, pulling her back, but then his mind went blank. He released his grip and gestured for her to go away. She felt deeply hurt by his icy demeanor towards her. But what did she expect? “Maybe he needs time.” She wondered how much longer he would keep this treatment up. The thought of his touch lingered in her mind.

As Addy settled into her new spot-on stage next to Aurora, she couldn’t help but feel a bit intimidated. The young ghoul was a remarkable singer with a powerful range, and it was a bit daunting for her. She already struggled to keep harmony vocals, unintentionally singing on Papa’s key during rehearsals. Having Swiss there to guide and assist her was a true blessing and with his help she was always able to pull it together for the show.

She wished she could find a way to convey to Copia that, for the sake of the concert, standing next to the multi-ghoul would be a better choice. But how could she ask him to let her be beside her former lover without causing any tension? She wondered if the fans would notice.

She was so nervous under the lights but luckily, she was well hidden behind Cumulus’s lavish keyboard as opposed to the open stage that Swiss stood upon. Despite a few slip-ups, her mistakes went unnoticed. In the end, she delivered an okay performance, and the audience was none the wiser.

She concluded her performance on stage and opted not to return for the encore songs. It turned out to be a fortunate decision because the Cardinal had added his track, “Stay” to the line-up. She didn’t know how Swiss felt about the choice of song, but it sliced through her like a sharp piece of glass… “In the silence of your room, in the darkness of your dreams, you must only think of me, there can be no in between”. She couldn’t bear to watch until the end. She hurried back to the green room to change into her regular clothes so she could call it an early night.

At some point during the evening, Papa climbed into bed. Addy could sense the exact moment he settled beside her. She couldn’t help but feel a surge of excitement as she realized he was actually in the same room with her, willingly. She longed to reach out and touch him, but fear of rejection held her back and she began to cry softly.

She didn’t expect her quiet sniffling to make a sound, but its delicate melody caught the Cardinal’s attention.

He turned toward her, “Amore? Are you crying my dear?”

She turned over, exposing her tear-stained face, and pleaded for forgiveness, “Papa! I am so sorry,” she cried. “I can’t take the cold shoulder from you any longer. You have to forgive me.”

He gently brushed away a tear from her eye, showing his compassion, “Oh, Cara Mia. You must stop this. I am trying to be angry with you and you are making it difficult.”

“Touch me, Papa!” she begged, “Can you please just touch me?”

The Cardinal’s mouth curled up into a mischievous grin, “You want to make up for what you did?”

Looking into his eyes, she whimpered, “Yes, more than anything.”

She buried her face between his thighs, so close that she could feel the warmth radiating off him. Copia gently took hold of her and turned her around, positioning her facing the wall while he looked at her back. She held her breath, feeling the heat build up behind her as she felt the tiny hairs of his moustache tickling her ear.

At first the Cardinal began gently by letting his fingers tickle her spine as he made his way closer to her head. He latched on to Addy’s hair and yanked her head back, forcing her up onto her knees. She gasped underneath his harsh grasp and looked up into his eyes, wondering if she had made a mistake.

He asked the woman, “Are you sure you’re ready?” his voice dripping with lust as he let go of her hair causing her to fall forward onto her hands. Addy looked back letting her eyes wander upward slowly to see the Cardinal removing his pants. After throwing them to the floor he stripped Addy’s shorts away so quickly that they rubbed her skin raw and left a rosy ring around her hips. The force of it knocked her flat on her chest.

Copia’s eyes darkened as he lifted her back to her knees and although Addy was a bit scared, she was also quite aroused. The Cardinal began to stroke himself as he reached down Addy’s panties, teasingly exploring familiar territory.

“You’re wet, Amore,” he said surprisingly, “Does that feel good after not having it for so long?”

“Yes, Papa,” She cried out desperately, her words laced with a sense of urgency and despair.

He let his fingers roam up and down the slits of her, ribbing her delicate areas. Craving to immerse herself deeper into the sensation she tried to lean back against him for more friction. He mounted Addy, letting his chest rest on her back. He began to blow into her ear while his moustache tickled the sides of her face. She moaned as he pressed against her—feeling his hard bulge at her entrance where his fingers still lived.

Lost in a short moment of calmness, Copia suddenly pulled his fingers away from her aching core causing her to huff in desperation. He cuffed her mouth, parting her lips with his fingers, letting them rest between her teeth. The Cardinal slowly began to caress her rear, but the tender moment was broken by the sudden sound of his hand hitting her ass cheek. Addeline let out a startled yelp and chomped down on his fingers like a ravenous piranha.

This caused Copia to strike the same place again, but with even more force, “No biting, Amore.”

He kept hammering that spot, relentlessly striking it over and over. Addy couldn’t take the pain of the impact any longer and shouted, “Red! Red!”

He didn’t catch her voice at first, but she belted out a much louder shout, causing him to immediately halt.

“Does it hurt, my darling?” he asked, now rubbing the sore spot on her rump where he had just spanked her. He gave the area a few tender kisses then climbed onto her back and settled in once more. He grabbed her throat gently and squeezed it lightly making the woman gasp for air a little bit, “Tomorrow,” he said, “You will not be able to walk.”

Addy’s skin caused her some discomfort, a burning sensation where he spanked her and removed her shorts.

“I will make you scream for forgiveness, my love. Now, tell me what you want!” He let out a seductive husky shout, sending shivers down Addy’s spine.

“Your cock, Papa,” she pleaded.

His grin widened as he let his fingertips sink into her skin, leaving behind faint marks as a testament to his touch, “Do you think you deserve it, Amore?” he asked.

“No, papa, I don’t deserve it,” she cried, her voice mixed guilt and longing, knowing deep down that he would still fulfill her wishes.

“I’ll give it to you if you promise to be a good girl from here on out.”

“I swear, Papa,” she shouted, her tone pleading and filled with exhaustion. She had grown weary of his taunting.

He ripped off her panties and shoved himself into her from behind, bottoming out without a warning. Addy was a bit overwhelmed by his cock now suddenly buried deep inside of her. He was giving the most delicious growl, his strong chest vibrating against her back.

Copia put his free hand around Addeline’s chest and began squeezing her breast as his other hand still held gently to her throat. She could feel him angling his hips forward in a way so that he could shove himself all the way into her.

She sobbed as he pulled out, only to thrust himself back inside with even more power than before. She screamed his name into the mattress as she clawed at the bed sheets.

“What was that, Amore? I… can’t… hear… you…” he groaned through gritted teeth, every word supported by a powerful thrust.

“Ah, Papa!” she continued to call out his name.

“Is this your favorite cock?” He yelled out, using his dominance to establish himself as number one. He wanted to hear her say that he was better than Swiss.

Addy on the verge of an orgasm, screamed out, “Yes Papa!”

“Can anyone else fuck you like this?”

“No Papa!”

“Say it!” he ordered, commanding her to utter those specific words.

Drenched in passion, she repeated with ragged breath, “Nobody can fuck me like you can, Papa!”

Addy screamed in pain and pleasure as he purposefully clashed himself against her bruised rear cheek.

For a second, she tried to escape but he pulled her back, “You stay here and take what I’m giving you,” he snarled, his breath heavy.

Addy’s erotic cries were music to his ears as he tried to bring her to an ultimate high, “Don’t you dare hold back,” he shouted. He sank his teeth into her shoulder, leaving a visible imprint that showcased his bite to everyone. He wanted to show the world who she belonged to.

Copia changed angles once again and frantically began rubbing Addy’s clit. She could barely hold back her impending release.

He knew she was close, but he also knew she would wait for him to say she could let go. He contemplated making her hold off, to torture her more, but decided she had had enough torment for one session, “Cum for me, Darling!”

Addy let go around his cock, screaming his name into the air but he didn’t slow down. It was like being on a roller coaster, except her pulsing heart was in her groins instead of her chest.

“Good girl,” he said. Still gripping her neck, he rubbed her nape gently, “I won’t stop until I put every last drop of myself into you.”

With a renewed vigor, he was planning on overstimulating her.

She was rising to a crescendo, crying out as Copia continued to hit against her cervix.

“Papa please… I can’t take anymore—”

“—Shh,” he cut her short with a deep guttural groan and a few less controlled but powerful pelvic slams. The sensation was a merciless attack on Addy’s overly sensitive clit. It began to send her into another, even more powerful orgasm. She screamed his name louder and more strained than she ever had. She felt the Cardinal pump his seed into her while she listened to him grunt slurs into her ear.

He let go of her throat and collapsed on top of her, panting, making her fall forward onto the bed. Everything in her body gave out. Addy felt an abundance of sensations, her sore rump and throat, the bite marks on her shoulders, Copia’s softening cock inside her still pulsing. Her face squished uncomfortably against the covers with his weight on top of her.

“Was the punishment fit for the crime, my love?”

Addy remained motionless and silent—so exhausted she was unable to even hoist her body up. Papa smiled at her, wiping himself off with tissue paper he found on the nightstand. He then picked up Addy from behind and laid her down on her back.

“Come,” he whispered, “It’s over now.” He grabbed more tissue and began cleaning her off as well. She flinched when he touched her sensitive areas, but Copia was gentle now.

“Rest now, Cara Mia,” he said with a final wipe.

She could not rest, however. Something was still on her mind.

“Papa?” she asked, a hint of desperation in her voice.

“Yes, Tesoro?”

“Will we ever get past this?” she asked.

He looked at her with eyes that held a sense of shadow, his blue eye appearing more somber than the other.

He understood that she longed to hear reassurance, to be told that all was fine. He wanted to give her that comfort, but the pain was still raw and ran deep within him. He knew he had to let go of his resentment, however, because he would never abandon her.

“We could get past it, Amore,” he began, “But there is one big hurdle in our way.”

“What’s that?” she asked curiously.

“You love him,” It pained him to admit it, but he knew there was still a part of her that had deep feelings for Swiss. “And he loves you,” the Cardinal continued, “I’ve watched him with you, and it’s clear.”

Addy was at a loss for words, hearing her husband speak these words out loud.

“In my absence I will always know that you will be well taken care of. But I’m not sure if that is a comfort now or a burden.”

“Papa,” she began to say, “Don’t mistake my infidelity as the death of my love for you.”

“My dear, I don’t doubt that you love me,” a regretful smile crept across the Cardinal’s face, and it didn’t please him to say, “But you love him too.”

Copia’s words left Addy feeling conflicted. She was torn between her love for the Cardinal and her feelings for someone else.

“He said there wasn’t room in my heart to love you both.”

Papa laughed childishly, finding the words amusing, “You see, my love, I think there is room. I think what he meant to say was that there is not enough room in his heart to share you.”

The Cardinal let Addy ponder those words before he continued, “So he had you choose then?”

Addy’s eyes widened as she looked at Papa, a sudden realization dawning on her. She realized that it was actually Swiss who had ended their relationship. It was a tough pill to swallow, and she couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of loss. Addy couldn’t hold back her tears any longer, and the Cardinal, against all internal instincts, reached out to console her. He wrapped his arms around her tightly allowing her to grieve over what had been lost. In that embrace, he provided a safe space for her to let go and find solace in his presence.

“It drives me mad to see you long for another, my Amore,” he said with a heavy heart.

Copia dug deep into his memory bank, searching for a picture of them. Scrolling through the mental snapshots, he thought of one instance. In hindsight, he realized that there were subtle signs that something was happening between them.

He went on to describe the perfect scene, “Do you remember when you were pregnant with Opus and Cirice at the beginning of the North American Tour? I caught a glimpse of you two, down by a small pond with a water fountain in the center. You were holding Kaisarion and Swiss took him from your arms. I watched you touch his shoulder and laugh at something he said to you.”

Addy interjected, “I wanted to throw pennies in that fountain,” she laughed recalling the same memory and was able to add a new perspective to the story, “But there was a sign that said it wasn’t allowed. Swiss took Kaisarion from me because he said he wanted to help me break the law,” she was giggling.

The Cardinal sighed, “It’s my fault too,” he said to her. “I neglected you, allowed the Clergy to treat you as their punching bag. I’ve left you to raise our children alone, burying myself in work while you sought comfort in others.”

It was a pivotal moment of self-reflection for the Cardinal. He realized that at some point he had unintentionally stopped giving Addy something she deeply needed, something Swiss was effortlessly able to provide. It was difficult for him to admit his failings, but it was a big step toward repairing their relationship.

She held onto Copia tightly, burying her face in his chest. He was so warm and smelled so good. It felt like she could have made a home right there forever, lost in the sensation of his touch. As she clung to him, cherishing his long-awaited touch, she suddenly remembered all the things she loved about him. Memories flooded her mind, prompting her of the joy, laughter and shared moments they had together. It reminded her of their special bond.

“Papa, I love you,” she whispered to him.

He placed his hand on her hair and began to rub it. The tender gesture filled her with a sense of security, “I love you too, Amore.”

*

Addy woke up feeling very sore from the night’s antics, but she was happy to have earned her way back into Papa’s arms. As she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of Copia’s resting face. The sound of a baby crying caught her attention, seemingly coming from the room next door. Addy’s ears perked up, and she recognized the cry as her own child’s. It was odd since the Nanny’s room was at the end of the hall. Meliora she thought. She assumed Swiss must have kept the boy in his room that night.

Addy, being careful not to wake Papa, quietly slipped out of bed and put on her slippers and a robe. She knew Meliora needed to eat, and Swiss probably didn’t have any bottles for the little one. With a key card in hand, she snuck into the hotel room next door, trying not to disturb the other ghouls who shared the room with Swiss. Addy wanted to be quick so Meliora wouldn’t wake them. As she entered the room, she saw the young child next to Swiss, who was still fast asleep. It seemed like he had a long night taking care of the baby. The man was sprawled out on the bed, mouth wide open with a bit of dried drool on the corner and missing a shirt.

Addy couldn’t help but burst into laughter. On the edge of the bed, she cradled her child in her arms and began to feed him. Swiss stirred from his slumber and squinted his eyes to see the mother of his child sitting on the bed. He placed a warm hand on her back and greeted her with a “Good morning.”

Addy glanced at him, feeling apologetic for waking him up. “I was trying to be quiet. I heard Meliora from my room and thought you might not have anything to feed him. Thanks for watching him,” she said.

Swiss laughed and replied, “He’s, my kid. I’m raising him, not watching him.”

She smiled at his response. Swiss closed his eyes again and casually said, “Lay down with me.”

Addy looked at him, surprised by the request. “I thought you were mad at me,” she responded.

Swiss chuckled and replied, “Oh, I’m still mad at you, but you’re already sitting in my bed, so...”

She positioned herself under the covers, placing the baby down by her chest so he could continue to feed from her breast. She felt the same warm hand that had touched her back go up her robe. The sensation jolted her enough to disturb the child who whimpered at the movement.

“Are you naked under here?” Swiss asked, as he slipped a finger inside of the woman.

“Oh my God, Swiss, warn me before you do that.”

The man giggled and continued with his exploration. It felt as though she had just made up with the Cardinal and did not want to jump off the deep in with Swiss again at the moment. “But then again, he is the father of one of my children” she considered. Swiss kept his hand between her naked thighs and moved her hair to kiss her shoulder. That’s when he saw the bite mark, a token from the Cardinal.

Unbeknownst to the couple, Aurora was walking by and happened to hear their conversation. She knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop, but she couldn't help wanting to understand more about Swiss and the dynamics he had with Papa’s wife. She moved closer to the door of Swiss's room and stayed just behind the corner so nobody could see her. Aurora's heart raced as she strained to hear every word, hoping to piece together the parts of Swiss's story that he didn’t tell her.

Swiss let out a huff and remarked, “Seems like you two patched things up.”

He rolled away from her, seemingly convinced that it was for the best. Addeline sat up and examined the bite mark, feeling a surge of frustration.

“Maybe I should leave my own mark on you,” he mused, half-jokingly.

“Swiss, I had to make things right with the Cardinal. He has the power to make my life completely miserable, which he has been doing up till now.”

“Yea, I see that,” Swiss grew a bit envious, “Did you enjoy it?”

Addeline shot him a glare, her frustration evident in her eyes. She was growing upset with his childish attitude.

“I know I can’t possibly ask you to stop fucking your husband, but God I hate thinking about you guys being together.”

“Swiss, I don’t get the option to choose! You know this! I can’t go anywhere. They OWN my kids! They own Meliora too! You will never see him again if I do what you’re asking me to do. Do you know what that feels like? Elizabeth and Cirice would be my parting gifts but they might keep them just to hurt me.”

Sensing her emotions, he quickly realized his mistake and offered a sincere apology. He acknowledged that he could be difficult at times, showing a lack of self-awareness, “Sorry. I just… I mean it when I said I didn’t want to share you but now you’re here, in my bed, naked and all I want to do is fuck your brains out.”

“Maybe now is not the best time. He hated me for weeks. He actually slept out in the bus.”

“Resented you,” Swiss corrected, “He resented you. Resent is not the same thing as ‘hate,’ Adds. He’ll never hate you.”

Swiss, pushing his jealousy to the side, moved closer to her. Meliora had finished feeding and drifted off to sleep. Addy offered to give the man a break from fatherhood, “I can leave him here with you if you want or I can take him with me.”

It appeared as though Addeline were getting ready to leave the room, so the ghoulette tiptoed away quickly, hoping to avoid detection. Aurora's heart pounded as she made her escape, hoping she hadn't been noticed. She was content, feeling as though she knew much more of the story now. She knew that the two were deeply in love and that Swiss couldn't move on, yet Addy couldn't move away. Her heart ached for the man.

“Stay with me,” the ghoul pleaded.

Addeline was torn between her desire to have Swiss by her side and the lingering thoughts from her night with Copia. The weight of their recent discussion still weighed heavily on her mind, making it difficult for her to fully embrace the idea of staying with Swiss.

Yet she couldn’t help but be captivated by his handsome features as she gently placed her hand on his cheek. His half-witted smile melted her heart, and for a moment, she was tempted to give him what he wanted. However, she shook her head gently, whispering, “Not right now,” as she got up to leave. Swiss grumbled playfully, but his smile persisted as he watched her walk away, her robe undone.

* Now fully awake and alert, Papa was quick to catch Addy as she made her way back into their bedroom. He was like a nimble cat, ready to pounce, “Did you just come from his bedroom, Cara Mia?”

Addy desperately wanted to convey to the man that things were not as they seemed. She searched for the right words, hoping to clear up any misunderstandings, “Papa, I only went to get Meliora?”

“In your birthday suit?” he conjectured.

“I’m wearing a robe,” she snapped, “I’m not naked.”

The Cardinal, somewhat frustrated, voiced his concern, “Doesn’t he know we hire a nanny to care for the children on the road?”

“He’s a very hands-on father, Papa,” she reminded him, “You know that already.”

The Cardinal, feeling a bit defensive, grumbled at the thought of being compared to Swiss in that department, “Well, we’ll have him an award made up,” he muttered sarcastically.

It was clear that he didn’t appreciate the jab, but he couldn’t help but let out a slight chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

“Oh Papa, you’re just as childish as he is,” Addy had grown fed up, “The both of you are getting on my nerves with this pissing contest.”

“Pissing contest?” he repeated, “You’re my wife. It’s no contest. I’m establishing what is mine.”

“That’s what a pissing contest is, Papa,” she told him. “Now, if you don’t mind can you be a father for a second and take Meliora so I can shower.”

Copia was surprised by Addy’s tone. She rarely raised her voice or challenged him, but he decided to let her have this small victory.

As the Cardinal cradled the sleeping infant, his love for Meliora shone through, regardless of paternity. He was determined to ensure that the boy would always have his rightful place among his other children. He embraced the unique circumstances, grateful that Meliora would grow up as an Emeritus child, learning the ways of the ministry. With Addy turning on the shower, the Cardinal’s mind filled with possibilities for the future. He cherished the moment, showering the little baby with his affection.

[girlreviews]

Review #359: Radio City, Big Star

When I got to see Big Star in Memphis in 2022, they went ahead and played all three of their records more or less from start to finish. It was to mark the 50th anniversary of #1 Record. Time loses all meaning lately and death is all around us, but the point is, Radio City turned 50 in February 2024.

When I first fell in love with Big Star (see review #474) it wasn’t even possible to find their records. Anywhere. The only format available at that time was a reissue double album that had both #1 Record and Radio City on it. That was fine with me, and I found it at McKays when visiting my cousin before moving here. But I never super separated the two albums since I always heard them together. Based on ranking, and general popular opinion, Radio City is better than #1 Record. I really don’t know about that, but I do know that the tracks on it that are really good, are really fucking good, and that’s what gives it’s older sister a run for her money.

It opens with O, My Soul, which is… Well, what can I say. The drums really steal the show on this track. When I got to see Jody Stephens play this song, I damn near lost my tiny mind. He also messed up, so they started over, which meant that I got to hear it twice. I had waited long enough so I like to think that was just for me. This song can’t decide if it wants to be some kind of garage band banger or if it’s too lazy and just wants to take a nap. And you know what? That fucking speaks to me.

When I was turning 17, which is how old you have to be in England to learn to drive, I was offered driving lessons or a guitar from my parents. First of all, I wanted the guitar so badly, it wasn’t even a question. I also knew it was annoy the shit out of them that I would pick it over driving lessons. Driving lessons meant driving, which meant a car, which meant freedom. Except that I knew that it didn’t really. If it came from them, the lessons, the car, the anything, I’d really have no freedom and it would all be an illusion. So my wise teenage ass took the guitar, and remained so painfully committed to public transportation that we could do whatever we wanted (with a lot more effort), for real. I used to really lament that decision as all of my friends got their licenses and cars and I was stuck on the damn bus, but I knew what I was doing. I used to listen to O, My Soul to remind myself of why I did it, and to build up my confidence:

“I can’t get a license

To drive in my car

But I don’t really need it

If I’m a big star”

Love when a band references themselves, for starters. I kept this tradition up, though. I listen to this song any time I have a big meeting that I need to crush, an interview for a job, or just anything that I need to hype myself up (you’re really a nice girl, and I think you’re the most, and when we’re together, I feel like a boss). Yeah I sing it to myself about myself, what about it? It’s my very own Eye of the Tiger. I learned to drive when I was 24 years old, in London, with my lessons and car entirely self-funded. I have no regrets.

Mod Lang sounds like a T. Rex song. I’m into that. I hear The Byrds in this record, especially in September Gurls, which really is a Big Star classic and is a pretty compelling reason for this album to rank higher than its successor. It’s had more influence on pop culture than I had ever realized — for example. Katy Perry’s California Gurls was titled with that spelling because her producer was a Big Star fan and wanted to pay homage. It’s a really beautiful song, about Alex Chilton’s complicated love life. The three women he was involved with, or formerly involved with, that the song is about, all had birthdays in September. Chilton was very into astrology, as it turns out. That seems about right for him.

I have always had a real soft spot for Morpha Too. It’s so strange and simple. It feels like being dizzy and trying to walk a few paces. The harmonies are really striking and it just seems like a song that never really got finished. That’s how it sounds to me. I love it exactly how it is.

The record ends with I’m In Love With A Girl, which rivals Thirteen but is cute, rather than poignant. I had a man sing this to me once, on a roof. He stole my guitar and just had at it. It kind of makes my skin crawl to think of it (think Ken singing Matchbox 20 to Barbie). But, we all know how I feel about letting those kinds of things spoil songs for me, especially Big Star. Wilco’s Pat Sansone was in charge of this track at the 50th anniversary show and he was perfect, sang “gorl” and everything. All was right with the world. I was there, he wasn’t. The best part of this song is one single line repeated that serves as a bridge of sorts:

“All that a man should do

Is try, oooooh, oooooh

All that a man should do

Is try

Ooooh ooooooh”

Listen to it. It’s a beautiful sweet song. Please do not serenade any women with it on their (or any) guitar. Don’t be that guy. All you have to do is try, and trying doesn’t involve that.

[spade-of-hearts]

Star crossed lovers chapter one

According to the rumors deep in the vast forest of nymphs and other creatures that walked around the land.There was a lonely kitsune who had everything life had to offer.  He had everything he could ever want, everything that was but a lover.  Across the years he had found men who wanted to appease him by offering their bodies and souls laid bare to him. But even that was not enough for him, humans all died so young and so much faster than he would have liked. The Kitsune ran his fingers through his black silky locks, sighing at the gifts left at his shrine once more. He had told humans time and time again that he did not require gifts or even food. His pointy ears twitched hearing the jingle of the totem around his shrine he had to alert him of anyone snooping around. Izou arched a thin black eyebrow as he stepped out of his shrine, shoes clacked as he turned the corner.  He had to suppress a gasp seeing what looked to be a Nymph. He had heard rumors of a garden Nymph getting into everyone’s offerings. “And who might you be?” He asked, voice lacking any amusement despite the curl of his red painted lips . The Nymph in question let out a loud yelp, tripping over his own feet and landing right into the koi pond. He sat up with a fish in his hair,  blew a strand out of his eyes . As he sat soaked with his white tunic sticking to his chest . He let out a loud laugh rubbing the back of his head. “Ah I'm not making a very good first impression am I? The name is Thatch, what’s your name?” Izou pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Izou is my name, you still haven't told me what you're doing snooping around my shrine. Thatch’s face tinted pink. “Ah I wanted to meet you but I heard you liked lava lilies so I was trying to place them with your offerings in hope you would come out.” “ If that was the case you could have just knocked on my shrine door, instead of looking like an utter fool” “ I do look pretty dumb huh? But I think it was worth it, you're much more extraordinary in person if I say so myself” . He said flashing a cheesy smile in the Kitsune's direction . Izou blinked before he felt his face turn red, damn him it was like he was trying to get him worked up on purpose . He could withstand human men; they were nothing but a means to an end but this man was different . Maybe it was due to the fact he was a creature like himself. “ Flattery will get you nowhere you know , you have to fix my flowers and pay for scaring my poor koi fish,” “O-oh sorry about that , I can replant the flowers but uh how can I make it up to you?” Izou sighed, pushing his hair out of his eyes “ Well since you gave me such a headache . You may come to my shrine for a cup of tea and tell me why you wanted to see me so badly.” Thatch winced before his whole face lit up like the sun jumping out of the koi pond right over to him “ Really?!” “ Hold it, you may come once you are wearing something not so wet and flimsy , ring the bell when you come back.” Izou said as he turned on his heel walking back into his shrine the doors locking in place. Izou put his hand over his face. What was he even doing at this point? It's not like he could back off this now . He just hoped he would not regret this decision. He was only going to have a cup of tea with Thatch, that was all, so why was his heart racing. Like it once did when he had a new kitsune .                                             xx

Izou jolted hearing the bell ring of his shrine . He stood up opening the door to see that same garden Nymph from before . Thank the heavens he was wearing something that would not make Izou feel like he would explode . “It’s nice to see you can dress up,“ “I always dress to impress! “ Thatch countered with a arched eyebrow Izou shook his head “Just get in, I made the tea already, “ he said before pausing “what’s that in your hands?” Thatch let out a laugh “I like to cook so i asked your worshipers what foods you like so i made some onigiri, “ Izou could not help but to look surprised at that. A red tint matching his lipstick spread over his cheeks .“Is that so then it would be a waste to not give them at least a try,” He mused out loud with a sliver of a smile. “You won’t find anyone who can cook better than me, just so you know, “ Thatch said wiggling his brown brows at him getting in his face. Izou moved his hand pushing his face from his “Don’t get ahead of yourself there dumpling,” “Eh? Are you saying I'm chubby or something?” Thatch asked. “Mhm if the shoe fits.“ Thatch gasped pushing him over before he paled ah shit this day really was not going the way he would like. But it felt so natural to be around the Kistune like this it almost felt as if he knew him in another lifetime. Izou chuckled as he poured two cups of his finest green tea handing it to Thatch “Here drink before you say something stupid,“ He raised an eyebrow but took it, sipping it, his lips puckering. Oh that was bitter he forced a smile “It’s delicious thank you,“ Thatch forced himself to get out just barely able to. Izou’s lips curled up  “You don’t have to lie to appease me, green tea is not for everyone,“ Thatch relaxed “I was not trying to be insulting the taste is good but it’s not my thing:” Izou leaned back “So tell me why did you want to meet me was it because of the rumors of my beauty or something more>“ “Truthfully I wanted a friend, I have none here, sure there is the giant man, but he sees me more as a son, rather than a friend,” Thatch remarked with a fond expression on his face. “Ah whitebeard tends to be that way, you want to be friends? My answer is no,” Izou said as he took a sip out of his teacup. Thatch’s chocolate brown eyes went wide “Huh?! Why not?!” He exclaimed in complete and utter shock. Izou snorted “As if I would be friends with someone who fell into my pond and scared my poor koi fish, you lack elegance, “ Instead of being turned away Thach grinned wider “ I will make you be my friend, you'll have to admit it.” “Fine then will give you one year to make me admit to being your friend,” “Challenge accepted! And just know I plan to win.” 

[truckreincarnation]

(vee)sceral reaction | Vee | Trial 2.3 | Re: Theophania, Manami, Bian

Part of Vee is experiencing the same struggle Esmée and Shinjuku are undergoing, even if they don't have the bravado to voice it like the others do. He who survived through several years of therapy, both on the giving and receiving ends at various points in time, recognises that the human reaction to seeing such a violent end is to lash out at those they deem responsible, especially on behalf of someone they deeply cared about. Care, about. Grief is but love persevering. 

They rub both sides of their head as the situation devolves to a lot of shouting, back-and-forth arguments about whether there is someone to blame, if there should even be someone to blame. His tears have long dried up by now, but as he considers the ramifications of what he might have to reveal, they threaten to spill over again as he can only quietly beg forgiveness of the Perry in his head. It might be vindicated if this succeeds. It might be his worst mistake yet if it doesn't.

"...I d-don't think Perry's t-talked much about how she p-passed away, the first t-time." They say softly, in the aftermath of Bian's outburst as everything has gone silent. "We were o-out hikin'... She was, out h-hikin' on a mountainous trail." They'd stayed behind on account of the sunlight. "She had a b-bad fall, and passed a-away before we could f-find her because the t-terrain was too hard to t-traverse by evenin'." At last, context for why they've taken this entire case quite as badly as they have to the point they were all but catatonic in the beginning. It was one thing to lose Perry, another thing to see the circumstances that led to her second death being so eerily similar to what claimed her the first time.

"Even... a w-week ago, when she a-accepted the dare to j-jump from the second s-storey balcony in the l-library... At the bottom, she r-regretted it. It wasn't h-heights, or climbin' trees, it was that p-panic from fallin' and... M-Maybe that explains how a-and why she's made d-decisions we've found bafflin' a-about this case. Maybe it doesn't a-and I'm just lookin' for the b-best explanation that won't m-make me throw up from c-considerin' the alternative. I don't... know or claim t-to know what was goin' t-through her head, but I... don't w-want to attribute to malice w-what could be the e-end result of a fit of t-terror and bad decisions."

Their breathing is shallow, as they shake their head and wipe the start of tears away. "She must h-have been in so m-much pain... Feck, I s-should've done more the m-moment I saw Shinjuku r-run. I should've convinced h-her not to do a lot of t-things but I wanted her t-to be happy, same as it e-ever was... And I don't w-want to believe anyone h-here would take advantage of h-her in such a vulnerable s-state, knowin' that even actin' w-would end up dooming s-someone else here if they w-were not caught." Vee turns to face Frank. "I w-want to believe that Bian's o-outburst would have been r-reciprocated in most circumstances. That it's n-not a one-way bond, that if n-no one else, you wouldn't b-bet her life on this. S-Same with Nao, twice o-over. I want to c-consider what Manami and T-Theophania have to say. And to that e-end..."

She holds up her notebook, once again etched in blood-red ink.

PERRY

"I'm goin' to t-trust in the g-good that makes us h-human." She mumbles. "If it s-should turn out that t-trust is misplaced, I will drag w-whoever did this d-down to Perry's new room m-myself, but I don't... W-Want anyone else to d-die too." Spineless, perhaps, when they came into this trial seething and upset, craving justice if not revenge for their best friend, but they've heard enough to be convinced of an alternative. "I'm w-willin' to try that r-risk."

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 150

Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magic Menagerie/A Christmas Carol

“Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magic Menagerie”

Plot Description: Sam confronts his fear of clowns when he and Dean investigate a children’s pizza chain that’s manifesting children’s worst (and deadliest) fears

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I don’t know what my worst and deadliest fear is, so it’s up in the air

Working with Frank seems to be a real pain

Yeah I’d say octopuses are rare in….Kansas

…who’s afraid of unicorns??? Horses, sure. But UNICORNS??

Sam’s really fighting his demons…or…clowns. Kinda same difference.

Oh this place is a sensory nightmare

Man, that maintenance worker just told Sam to do the worst thing he could probably imagine: come back after close

Obviously?? Obviously unicorns are evil, Dean??

Nooooo, not the maintenance guyyyyyyy. K but what HAPPENED to him? Shark in the ball pit? He already had to clean up puke in there, whyyyyy

K yeah. Shark. Dean exasperated that Sam does not celebrate Shark Week

Hope that kid’s drawings don’t come to life. Giant robot with laser eyes?? Nope

Oh damn, Sammy’s not playing around any more

Is it the too eager ticket taker?? Is he partly the problem? It’s him or the other worker’s kid

Dean’s always so good with kids. Warms my heart

Omg Sam. Playing extremely bad cop here?

The guy in the lion costuuuuuuume 💀 asking a guy he thinks is a federal agent if he’s ever done shrooms in a ball pit. I’ll admit, doesn’t sound like a bad time

Yeah. The overeager overachieving prize counter worker. Of course it’s him. Oh. He got passed over for promotion…

Dean…I know this guy sucks but…you’re not gonna let him just drown on dry land, are you??

Awwwwwww, Sam got Dean that giant slinkyyyyyy, and in return, Dean got him a Plucky doll. Great job.

“A Christmas Carol”

Plot Description: Amy & Rory are trapped on a crashing space liner, and the only way the Doctor can rescue them is to save the soul of a lonely old miser. But is Kazran Sardick beyond redemption? And what is lurking in the fogs of Christmas Eve?

From a…purely…artistic standpoint, I am curious what the scenario Amy and Rory were, um, playing out in her cop kiss-o-gram uniform and his centurion uniform.

The chaos of Matt Smith’s Doctor is pretty unparalleled

In 900 years of time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before ❤️❤️

Watching the Doctor deduce what’s going on with Kazran and why he didn’t hit the young boy this soon after watching an episode of Sherlock reeeeeeeeeeeally is something. Steven Moffat did in fact write this one. It’s almost embarrassing how he has his two leads be this similar. Benedict would have delivered this in the EXACT SAME CADENCE

Omgggg I forgot he didn’t just bop around this guy’s timeline for funsies or to solves mystery. He DELIBERATELY DECIDED to A Christmas Carol him. Amazing

The Doctor? Universally? Recognized as a mature and responsible adult??

He just wanted to see the fishhhhhhhh. He was such a kind boy

(You ever regret a decision so badly?? That’s how I’m feeling RIGHT NOW about this whole rewatch, but I know it’s just because I’m exhausted and work was terrible this week)

The tragedy of how much fun they’re having vs how much time Abigail has left vs the fact that they don’t really know….

How do they not notice?? The Doctor noticed before. He saw the number, and he’s just living each Christmas Eve. How does he not see it now?

Oh…the change after he finds out how much time she has left. No no noooo

I can’t imagine WATCHING so much of my life be rewritten

It’s a good little twist that he brings little Kazran to see how he grows up as the ghost of Christmas future

[mrsman]

Honestly? I really want to enjoy being single but I just fucking don’t I don’t see the benefits of it I don’t see why he wanted to be single so fucking badly but I guess I don’t have to worry about his bitch ass looking at me like I was a burden he didn’t know how to carry

Stupid asshole never once took care of me the way he promised he would he just bitched and moaned and “tried his best” except his best was to take me up the hill and then cheat on me so yea hm not the best I guess and then he had the audacity to tell me that I talk too much and I’m annoying and accuse me of not liking him anymore hey have you ever considered that maybe you’re a dumbass? Have you ever considered that you were so dishonest with me that even your honesty is tainted? I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but I’ve always known you I’ve known this was a possibility because you’re too insecure to ever accept a love that’s worth changing for hey that’s fine fucker more power to you I hope you enjoy dying alone 🤙🏻Because I will also be dying alone. We’re in the same boat.

You act like you tricked me into having sex with you or being with you for 5 years or getting back together with you 3 times as if I’m blind dead and dumb

You may have treated me with hatred and contempt and shitty judgement but I always loved you I always love you I will always love you and I chose you over and over and you never choose me bc of your insecurity oh gosh darn I guess I was too stupid to see that I should’ve just not accepted you right? No I made my decisions I have no regrets and if you do that’s too damn bad.

I gave myself security and safety I gave it to myself I want you to know that you failed me as a man in every damn way possible and the only way I’d consider seeing your sorry ass again is if you begged bc by never ever taking what I want into account you are the biggest asshole I’ve ever met. I want a partner that’s fucking obsessed with me that would marry me at the drop of the hat but I also only wanted you so I gave up on that. Now I’m giving up on both. I’d only give it to you if you gave me that. And you’re not going to. You’re a pussy and a coward and you want me to yell at you so you feel better? Fuck you.

My anger isn’t that you made mistake after mistake and failed me in every imaginable way possible my anger is that you never choose me you always reject me and say “it’s for my benefit” the only person that’s being benefited from my perspective is you bc now you can live freely w/o me bc I was such a damn burden for you. Like just admit that admit that you didn’t want me as much as I wanted you and every time I said I love you and you said I love you way more you don’t even know how much I love you. You were lying to me. Dishonest to the end I see. I’m not the one who’d be getting closure you would be.

I just wanted someone who would choose me over and over and over and say this is my person Suzy is my person I love her I’m gonna give her everything my whole self and life is for her bc I always gave as much of myself that I could I always gave that to you and you gave me dishonesty and rejection and hemming and hawing. I’m not gonna give you the satisfaction of saying you wasted my time bc I can’t it would be a lie. You didn’t waste my time. It wasn’t a waste of time. What you wasted was your own time when you could’ve been fucking other girls bc it seems that was your ultimate goal. For me? It was to be loved. You gave me that. It wasn’t the way I wanted it wasn’t all consuming you never committed to me honestly and wholly and I accepted that. I accepted we’d end up broken up and you’d never actually marry me unless you woke up with an epiphany but that didn’t happen did it. And I don’t regret any of it I enjoyed your love what little you could honestly give. You were good to me. Everyone but you can see that. Even the one friend I confided in saw how good you were and that this is salvageable.

So I give up on both I’m not looking for someone else bc they won’t be you they’ll never be you they’ll never see you like you see me and if they were you they wouldn’t choose me. You don’t ever choose me. That’s your problem you won’t accept that. You aren’t a victim of your own crimes you aren’t a victim at all and you think by calling yourself names and asking me to do it too that makes you not a victim but you’re a liar and an idiot. Either be a villain and accept the malicious intent or admit that you’re not a victim and you were in complete control you acted in ways that you couldn’t even believe for yourself but that was you. So who has to take responsibility at the end of the day? You. You know what taking responsibility means? It means you go to the person you wronged and you beg forgiveness and you offer to make up what you’ve done wrong to them and you give them as much as they ask as you can give to make amends and CHANGE so it never happens again it would never happen again I would trust you I could trust you again. You don’t want that. You don’t want me. You don’t want this. I heard you. I keep hearing it over and over I can’t stop hearing it. I get it.

I get that you’re a fucking coward and you want me to do the heavy lifting of hating you so you can be vindicated and victimized. Yes my ex gf hates me 🥺 I cheated I’m so terrible I wasted her time 🥺 yea I broke up with her so she wouldn’t have to be w my sorry ass 🥺🥺🥺 she still wants me but I can’t do that to her 🥺🥺 then she’ll leave me when she figures out that I hate myself and I’ll be alone bc she rejected me and I can’t handle that 🥺🥺 I was soooo terrible please feel bad look how sad and pathetic I am!! Look how much I still love her but won’t give myself to her or change!! How sad is that!! I’m soooo bad 🥺🥺

Fuck you and fuck the sad little horse you rode in on I’m so mad that you still don’t get it after 3 months and stalking my shit and hacking my personal prayer journal and reading it like it was the newspaper like it didn’t even matter that you weren’t supposed to see it you still don’t get it you still don’t see me as a person worthy of your love

That’s fine. I want it. You don’t want to give it. Break it down it’s really that simple. You don’t get to decide what’s good enough for me and you don’t get to decide what I should want and what I should get. You’re cruel. You go out of your way to hurt me and then uwu your way through the rest of our lives apart. I’m so sick of you acting like you love me and want the best for me. You aren’t listening to me. You don’t love me. Admit it just admit that and move on. Find someone else you didn’t want someone so high maintainence and they won’t be me but you’re probably already looking so who am I kidding.

If you ever make another girl your girlfriend and fuck other girls in general besides the one before we broke up though it’s really done for me so if you do I hope you let me know via email or carrier pigeon so I really know there’s no hope. I’d appreciate that 🙏🏼 enjoy your singledom I’ll be waiting patiently for you to break my heart one last time so I can not want you back entirely. I don’t see any other way for me to let go 100%. Since that is so important to you, bc again you don’t care what I want or my say or my opinion or my feelings even.

You don’t want to change you don’t want to be better you don’t want to grow up you don’t want to grow up you don’t want to grow up just look in the mirror and be honest for once in your life be honest look at that kid looking back he doesn’t want to grow up. Accept that and live it out. Stop feeling sorry for me I don’t want your sympathy or your help. I want you to want me enough to be grow up. You don’t. Okay. That’s fine. I’m single I’ll figure it out. Maybe I’ll finally get to fulfill the fantasy of having sex with the lead singer of Joywave or maybe I’ll figure out how to let someone else touch me without wanting to throw up from the instantaneous nausea and I’ll get a long term bf. I’ll let you know so you can also move on. You’re welcome for that btw. I gave you what you asked for. I didn’t want to and I won’t do this in person bc watching you walk away from me again will absolutely push me over the edge.

I just can’t stand it man. I just can’t stand how someone can look me in my eyes and tell me I’m not worthy enough to change for and be with long term. Not the person I love so much the person I wanted to change for and be with long term. Not you please don’t ask me that again I will throw myself off a bridge I’m not lying or exaggerating this time at all. I’m ready to end this game of life and this back and forth. Act like we don’t communicate in our own way go ahead I don’t care anymore.

[ritz-writes]

okay im gonna pass out after this BUT LETS GOO

With a quick glance around the car, you pull off a number and make a wish.

OOO wishing time wishing time!

The cover is a nondescript light brown moleskin (because moleskin feels SO nice), the only clue of its contents on the front, written in red script: AO3 Favourites: Good Omens Edition.

:O :D

(vital, you see, got to make sure it’s nice, complete, and accurate)

hehehe

“What is it that you’re reading?”

😬

There’s a twinkle in his eye that makes the decision for you. Well. He asked. Whatever happens next, it’s his fault.

welllll since u asked so nicely aziraphale <3

“How lovely!” Aziraphale says, “What kind of stories do you have in there?” “Smutty fanfiction.”

PAHA. not even a hint of hesitation i love it

“I…beg your pardon?” He asks in his I’d-be-clutching-pearls-if-I-had-them voice.

i am cackling

“Well,” You say, “Good Omens is my favourite thing--” “-- The story about me and Crowley,” Aziraphale interrupts.

I AM CACKLING

“Oh my god,” she looks at you across Sardis, glee and amusement lighting up her face, “You made a book of your favourite Aziraphale-Crowley porn!?”

PFTTT

You notice that Crowley has stopped laughing. He and Aziraphale are staring straight ahead now, and the tips of their ears are going red.

i am loving this omfg

“Wow,” she manages between fits of laughter, “I wonder what that looks like!” Okay, well with that kind of encouragement how can you not elaborate?

ELABORATE--?

Every kink and position you can imagine. In canon, canon divergent and – ” “FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE,” Thunders Aziraphale from the front seat, “WOULD YOU STOP PLEASE.”

ASDFGFDS

You go quiet. Which bothers you because you hadn’t quite finished. You bounce your knee for a second before adding quietly: “And crossovers.” There. Now you’re done. Aziraphale groans in frustration from the front seat.

i think aziraphales thought process is suddenly filled with smth along the lines of "just how badly do i want to save the world again?"

At some point during the conversation the music had stopped altogether, and now the car is just full of a horrible smothering silence.

oh god i can feel the awkwardness

You’re starting to regret bringing this up, until you notice Anathema’s hand, reaching across Sardis, making gimme motions. With a glance up at the front seat, you hand the book across to Anathema, who immediately opens it and starts flipping through it, Sardis leaning over her shoulder.

:0 >:D

Her eyes and mouth are wide as she mouths “OH MY GOD.” Sardis mirrors mock-horror.

ASDFGHGFDS

You decide to leave the Plot-What-Plot stories out of this for now. When you’re making progress in an argument, it’s important to quit when you’re ahead.

smart move

Under the cover of music, you lean over and say quietly to Anathema (and Sardis) “Wait till I show you the comics.”

omfg--

VOTING TIMEE

ohh this kid is committing some kind of crime for sure. i can see him doing it with his "friends" (probably equally shitty rich kids) and them totally just leaving him behind in favor of getting away faster. and poor jere-bear suddenly finding himself at the mercy of 3 celestial beings, 1 witch, and 1 thrown-out-of-their-universal-norm entity. tho i know he'll still be a lil shit about it like "do u know who my parents are bleh bleh bleh." heres to hoping the team can teach him some manners

wonderful work as always <3

Fanatic Intervention Part 22!!

And we're back to Team Ineffable!

Since the winning vote from the Fanfiction question was to include smut, Younglings beware. I don't mention anything specific, other than a vague line about some trolls. I will link the fic for those who want it. That's as bad as it gets. You're still good to read this on the bus if you're the kind of person who worries about the old ladies sitting behind you (pro tip, if they're reading smut off your phone over your shoulder, they're enjoying it).

Next installment we're meeting Jeremy!!

Okay, let's do this.

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******************************************

The five of you have been on the road for a few hours now, and honestly it’s been very uneventful (disappointing, I know). In the last five hours, the peak of Interesting Happenings was Aziraphale wondering if the Shuffle was working properly on the playlist, because he was certain they hadn’t put nearly so much Taylor Swift on it. But the song quickly switched to Moonlight Sonata, so Aziraphale stopped complaining. That’s it. You sort of vaguely notice that that music has drifted back to Taylor Swift, but it’s all basically white noise at this point.

It is for this reason that you pull out your Miracle Enabler, and decide that you may as well get started since you have the time. With a quick glance around the car, you pull off a number and make a wish.

No one questions the book for another hour. It’s about the size of a graphic novel, slightly bigger than you would have liked, but aside from that it’s exactly what you wanted. The cover is a nondescript light brown moleskin (because moleskin feels SO nice), the only clue of its contents on the front, written in red script: AO3 Favourites: Good Omens Edition. Making the book was step one, and step two is reading the entire thing (vital, you see, got to make sure it’s nice, complete, and accurate). So far, it’s perfect. A tip-top piece of Miracle Making, if you do say so yourself.

“Oh!” Aziraphale says from the front seat, “I didn’t realize you brought a book!” Of course he’s the first one to notice. You wonder if you’re blushing at all because you’re pretty sure you know the next question he’s going to ask. “What is it that you’re reading?”

Yup. Nailed it.

For a moment you hesitate. Should you? Well, there was nothing to be ashamed of really. He’d probably read Lady Chatterly’s Lover and had it signed by the author.

“Oh come now,” the angel presses, “There’s no reason to worry, you’ve seen my bookshop after all.” There’s a twinkle in his eye that makes the decision for you. Well. He asked. Whatever happens next, it’s his fault.

“Well,” You say, “I was starting to miss some of my favourite stories from back home, so I made them into a book.” You hold up the volume, showing the cover.

“How lovely!” Aziraphale says, “What kind of stories do you have in there?”

“Smutty fanfiction.”

Crowley and Sardis both start laughing (Crowley’s going to regret that in a minute, you think), Anathema has put down her phone and is smiling as she tries to contain laughter herself. Aziraphale isn’t laughing.

“I...beg your pardon?” He asks in his I’d-be-clutching-pearls-if-I-had-them voice.

“Well,” You say, “Good Omens is my favourite thing--”

“-- The story about me and Crowley,” Aziraphale interrupts.

“Yeah,” You say, “That one. It’s my favourite thing, and a lot of other people’s too, so a lot of them write fanfiction about it. Like...stories about you and Crowley in...alternative situations and realities.”

Neither Aziraphale or Crowley have figured out where you’re going with this yet, but Anathema has, and she can’t seem to contain herself any longer.

“Oh my god,” she looks at you across Sardis, glee and amusement lighting up her face, “You made a book of your favourite Aziraphale-Crowley porn!?”

You notice that Crowley has stopped laughing. He and Aziraphale are staring straight ahead now, and the tips of their ears are going red.

“Pretty much, yeah,” You say in answer to Anathema. She cackles in response.

“Wow,” she manages between fits of laughter, “I wonder what that looks like!”

Okay, well with that kind of encouragement how can you not elaborate?

“Oh,” You say, “I can tell you exactly what that looks like. In every version you can think of. I have them as is, I have them as fairies, trolls, merfolk, aliens, mixed species, humans, some experimentation of celestial forms, and reversed. I have them as men, women, mixed, fluid, doppelgangers, current time, through history, future, on beds and ceilings and in public bathrooms. Every kink and position you can imagine. In canon, canon divergent and – ”

“FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE,” Thunders Aziraphale from the front seat, “WOULD YOU STOP PLEASE.”

You go quiet. Which bothers you because you hadn’t quite finished. You bounce your knee for a second before adding quietly:

“And crossovers.” There. Now you’re done. Aziraphale groans in frustration from the front seat. For a moment you sit there, book closed, hands in your lap. At some point during the conversation the music had stopped altogether, and now the car is just full of a horrible smothering silence. You’re starting to regret bringing this up, until you notice Anathema’s hand, reaching across Sardis, making gimme motions. With a glance up at the front seat, you hand the book across to Anathema, who immediately opens it and starts flipping through it, Sardis leaning over her shoulder.

“Oi!” Crowley calls. He’s staring at you through the rearview mirror. Huh, you didn’t think he actually used the rearview mirror. You learn something new every day apparently.

“Look,” You say, “It’s important.”

Aziraphale scoffs.

“No really,” You pull out the Miracle Enabler and wave it around, “I’ve been thinking about this thing. And I’m thinking hey, there might be a very real chance that we end up in a boss fight kind of situation. And I was thinking that I should probably know exactly what I can do with this thing before I’m standing on a battle field.” You take out a folded piece of paper, and hand it to Aziraphale. He takes it and unfolds the list written on motel stationary.

“Hm,” He says, putting his glasses on his nose.

Movement in your peripheral vision distracts you. Anathema is waving at you. She’s found that some of the stories are illustrated, and she’s landed on “Boon of the Blue Moon,” specifically the illustration that shows Troll!Aziraphale and Troll!Crowley in a very interesting position that’s only achievable for trolls with long tails, or acrobats who occasionally work from home. Her eyes and mouth are wide as she mouths “OH MY GOD.” Sardis mirrors mock-horror.

It takes all of your self control to hold in your laughter and try to wave them away. If Aziraphale sees this right now, he might actually smite you. And Crowley would probably help him. (And yeah, okay, you still have four lives left, but let’s not use up one of them on friendly fire if we can help it.)

“Make something that doesn’t exist,” Aziraphale reads aloud, “Make a common object, what’s this Matrix- Kung Fu mean?”

“It’s like...shorthand for giving myself a talent or skill that I never actually learned.”

“Ah,” He replies, folding the list again and handing it back, “I just don’t understand why you needed to start with...erm...”

“Smut,” You finish. The blush is creeping across his face, and you figure that saving him from saying the word out loud is the decent thing to do. Aziraphale nods as he removes his glasses and places them back in his pocket.

“Um yes, that.”

“Well some of them are really beautiful. I mean the sheer talent of these people. There are some stories in there that are so lovely they actually made me cry. And let me tell you, there are an awful lot of critically-acclaimed ‘proper’ works that haven’t evoked emotion for me the way that these have. It’s not just about the sex.” You decide to leave the Plot-What-Plot stories out of this for now. When you’re making progress in an argument, it’s important to quit when you’re ahead.

Aziraphale considers this for a moment, before the car’s audio turns back on, blaring Taylor Swift’s Love Story.

Under the cover of music, you lean over and say quietly to Anathema (and Sardis) “Wait till I show you the comics.”

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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