#nyc screamo

[sefondre]

New OLTH ?!

[ameltzerdesign]

Infant Island @ Gold Sounds - 12.15.2023

Infant Island is a Godzilla reference, but this was right around when the latest movie came out and Godzilla imagery was everywhere, so I tried to make a Godzilla themed poster showing as little of Godzilla as possible.

[screamosucks]

silk poster

[crungochapel]

Howdy!

My name is Metal Doug X and I normally don’t post much (cus I’m shy) but looking to make new friends in nyc. I want to get back into greening out but also able to vibe in a chat or over telegram! I do musick as well and will happily draw sacred midi from just about any grimoire.

I’m unemployed with crazy hours so I’m not the most consistent with my responses, but I will reply! That being said! I also haven’t had much time to play games but some of my favorite, cozy games include:

• Worms: Armageddon

• Metal Slug X

• Ikaruga

• I wanna be the guy (it’s my cozy game)

• Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

• Tekken 3

Thanks for giving this a read and please give me some suggestions on other games! 💕✨ And please take my character from morrowind as a parting gift as you scroll!

[briarofthemountains]

Favorite Albums 2024 Part I: Local

I know it's like, many months late, but there were a lot of cool releases this year. Various different genres appear.

This first part contains bands local to me. I'm based in the Hudson Valley so I consider anything from Albany to NYC and parts of Northern New Jersey local to me.

Big Shot - Big Shot II

This is a very short release, from the Hudson Valley and Texas, totaling about 6 minutes over three songs. After last year's release of the Paid in Blood EP, this follow up takes a much heavier approach. There are growls, which weren't present in previous releases. The drums are much more pummeling, the guitars more chunky, but it still feels like Big Shot. If this is the direction Big Shot is heading in, I'm all for it.

3 tracks, 6 minutes

Favorite Track: Under Seige

Blouse/Silk - Split

Blouse is a screamo band from SUNY Purchase, the college I attend. Silk is a screamo band from NYC. Both bands have performed together a bunch, I even saw them at Purchase in March of this year. This split showcases both bands' styles in a very condensed form, with awesome cover art. This was also recorded at Purchase.

4 tracks, 6 minutes

Favorite Track: autumn

Cinnamon - Demo '24

Having seen these guys live in a practice studio in Albany, I had to check out their demo. Kickass powerviolence, this is a long demo, with 9 tracks spanning 14 minutes. They don't have a bassist, instead having a second guitar going through a bass amp, which is pretty cool. They're also super cool live.

9 tracks, 14 minutes

Favorite Track: Needle

Death Island - Tyrannus

The second installment of a three-single trilogy, Tyrannus is my personal favorite of them. This single trilogy are three songs written by an older line-up of Death Island, before their new third guitarist was invited in. These guys are also my friends and I've been on two bills with them. The Conan the Barbarian quote and the shout of "Tyrannus" into a breakdown are some of the highest moments of this song. They are a cool Blackened Death band that brand themselves as Trench Digging Death metal. I'm excited to see where they go from here.

1 track, 7 minutes

Final Girls - Prey on the Weak

I'm very lucky to have been on a bill with this death metal/hardcore band from New Jersey. They have an awesome live show, and their new vocalist's growls are crazy. This release shows a heavier progression from their last EP, Occult Classic, and I'm here for it. There's more growls than singing, and the instrumentation is brutal. A dynamic release that never relents in brutality, I'm excited to see where this line-up goes.

3 tracks, 10 minutes

Favorite Track: The Gallows

Fred Gillen Jr - Kaaterskill (Winter Instrumentals)

Fred Gillen Jr is my former neighbor in my hometown of Peekskill, and also inspired me to take up playing guitar ten years ago. This release is a very melancholy and calm release and I like listening to it on walks in the woods or when I just need to chill. The folk guitar work here is very good and shows off some skills that Fred isn't always able to utilize when he's also singing.

6 tracks, 16 minutes

Favorite Track: The Willows Part I

Grave Heist - Desperate Times

Being one of my introductions to the Hudson Valley Hardcore scene, I have a special place in my heart for Grave Heist's music. After three releases last year, they released only one EP this year, this one. It's a natural progression of the sound they've been building since Gravedust, and I think this has some of their best songs, being catchy and heavy at the same time. It's also great to hear these live and sing along. I hope they get big, they deserve it.

5 tracks, 11 minutes

Favorite Track: Hard to Breathe

Low Fiction - Vestige

Low Fiction released two EPs this year, but the contents of the first one are also rerecorded and put on this EP. This is the year of bands getting heavier productions, and Low Fiction is no exception. Keeping their esoteric Stoner Metal composition, the guitars take center stage in this release, around the same level of the vocals.

4 tracks, 15 minutes

Favorite Track: End Path

Quiet - Live in Troy, NY

Quiet was the first HVHC band I ever saw. Their second release, this Live EP is well mixed for a live release, maintains a very similar sound to their first EP Talk is Cheap. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's a classic hardcore sound that I really like and hope they continue with.

4 tracks, 7 minutes

Favorite Track: Memorial Day

Scumbag - Homicide Cult

I've also been on a bill with these guys too, a mixture of technical and brutal death metal. This brutal album, with disgusting vocals and lyrics, is a fun listen, returning more to the sound of their 2021 EP Scumbag, as opposed to the lengthy compositions of 2022's Blood Drinker. This was even reviewed on the blog Angry Metal Guy which was a big surprise to me.

9 tracks, 29 minutes

Favorite Track: The Meating

Stutter - S/T

Their first release other than 2023's demo (now only available on Bandcamp), this powerviolence record is blistering. Featuring two members of Blouse, this Albany based band kicks ass on this record. The last song, "RJs Song (Hidden Track)" pays homage to a lost member of the Albany HC community.

10 Tracks, 11 minutes

Favorite Track: Useless

Warclouds - Demo

A side project of a member of NYC Crust Punkers Drogato, Warclouds covers similar ground to Drogato in terms of sound and lyrics. It's a quick demo of raw d-beat. It's good, and I almost consider it just another Drogato release, but I do love Drogato.

5 Tracks, 9 minutes

Favorite Track: Never Forgive

[teethfreak-xo]

middle earth + olth march 30, 2024 somewhere in nyc

[fumejumesippy]

Fake Funeral Diner flyer I made

[classycorekid]

ok not usually my type of post but does anyone in the nyc/newark area know how to get a fake id for concerts 🙏 not for too much pls

[piss-bong]

so anyways fuck chappel roan here's some actual queer music

Scramble (hxc from Baltimore) - Bandcamp

Proprietary Energy Faggots (dance punk from Brooklyn) - Bandcamp

Anita Velveeta (idek from Minneapolis) - Spotify

Pyre (screamo from NJ/Philly) - Bandcamp, Spotify, @pyre-screamo

Morning Dew (skramz from Pittsburgh) - Spotify

Ok Cuddle (weird emo from Brooklyn) - Spotify, Bandcamp

Funeral Doors ('queercore' from NJ) - Spotify, Bandcamp

Crush Fund (dance punk from Brooklyn) - Spotify

Ugli (post-punk from philly) - Spotify

Flummox (post-hardcore?? from Tennessee) - Spotify, Bandcamp

Civil War In France (skramz from Philly) - Spotify

Exciting!!Excellent!! (emo chiptunes from Portland) - Spotify, website

Home Is Where (5th wave emo from Florida) - Bandcamp, Spotify

B00B (punk from Philly) - Bandcamp

Estelle Allen (hyperpop from somewhere??) - Spotify, Bandcamp

Ash Bricky (screamo from Cali) - Spotify, Bandcamp

Yours Forever Yours (another Ash Bricky project) - Spotify, Bandcamp

Pop Music Fever Dream (punk from brooklyn) - Spotify

MIDDLING (midwest screamo from Ohio) - Spotify

Um, Jennifer (Indie Pop from NYC) - Spotify

Cemetary Girl (Hardcore from Detroit) - Spotify

One Hour Photo (Emo from Brooklyn) - Spotify

[aflowerdrops]

Jackson/ever.rot on twin cities metalcore/hardcore scenes, his photography’s technicalities, and more | Interview

Pictured here: ostraca

Photographers are crucial to music scenes, they’ve been important before the advent of and with social media. Last week I had the pleasure of talking to Jackson / ever.rot on Instagram - he’s taken pics of Sunami, Saetia, Jeromes dream, and loads more cool bands. He also does urban/landscape photography. In this interview he talks local music, and dives into the details of how he achieves different looks in his photos - something you’ll definitely find interesting whether or not you’re into photography. He has selected a set of 20 pictures that show the different kinds of pictures he takes, which are included in this article. Keep reading to check them all out! And make sure you follow him on Instagram!! 

Hi there, thank you so much for doing this with me! Introduce yourself to our readers please.

Hi!! My name is Jackson. I’m also @ever.rot on instagram, that’s where I post all my weird, fucked up photos if you’re into that kinda thing. :D

How did you get into live music photography, and photography in general?

I got into photography through a friend I made as I was beginning to get into the local twin cities beatdown hardcore/metalcore scene after moving to Minneapolis (thanks Brett!!). I recently did some exploring with a group of friends all over the rotting state of New Jersey and started documenting everything we found. I wanted to chase this eerie look in the photos I took that I was able to get with just my phone, and after a two and a half hour conversation Brett sent me spiraling down a photography rabbit hole. Since I was already going to shows nonstop at that point and I had friends in bands, it only felt natural to try out concert photography.

Can you talk about your relationship to your local music scene? Did you grow up in/around it? What would you say makes it different from other scenes?

I really didn’t grow up with live music, so I’ve only really been truly seeking it out for the last year and a half or so. Between college and visiting family I’ve been split between the hardcore/metalcore and screamo scenes in both NJ/NYC and twin cities, Minneapolis and St Paul. I’ve met so many incredible people so far, and I’m hoping to make more of an impact as I figure out what the fuck I’m doing with my camera and fingers crossed if I finally get one of these bands I’ve been planning with friends off the ground. 

How do you think photographers contribute or maybe give back to a music scene?

I think while we (me especially) might get in the way here and there and might be a little distracting if we all decide to show up at once and there’s like 10 of us for no reason, photographers at their best are great for immortalizing moments that lets a show live on past the night doors opened. Everyone remembers that one 1988 Fugazi show in Philly because there’s a shot of Guy Picciotto dangling from that basketball hoop. 

bulletsbetweentongues, opposition dolls, grimlitter

Granted, most shots aren’t that iconic. My hope is that, despite the fact I might miss some great moments due to how I take photos and a soul crushing skill issue, I might be able to make that dream of being in a band with all your friends feel a little more real–just with whatever artsy bullshit I’m doing on top.  

The way you capture your subjects is really beautiful. Something about it makes the pictures feel so lively. I find that the energy in your work is super unique. What’s going through your head while you’re taking pictures at shows?

Thank you so much! That’s so sweet!!

Since my photos are so dependent on lighting and I haven’t really relied on flash for concert photography to date, I first focus on how I want to change my white balance settings and how I over/underexpose my photos to best make use of the light I’m given. 

Then, I typically focus on positioning myself where I can best compose my subjects, get compelling angles, and potentially capture something between members of the band or between the band and the crowd. 

jerome's dream, saetia

Last, I try to capture moments. Given how many on-the-fly plans and adjustments go into preparing and lining up my shots, I often just have to get lucky or adjust super fast to get a picture of a big moment if it doesn’t happen exactly where I’m preparing to take a photo.

Doing all of that manually at a show where my subjects are moving and I’m getting kicked in the head is honestly very mentally taxing but god do I love the challenge. 

You also take really cool pictures of landscapes. Are most of these taken where you live/grew up, how would you say that inspires and affects your work? How would you describe the difference between your mindset taking pictures at shows and taking pictures of landscapes?

The few landscape shots I’ve done were all out of a window of a car moving about 70 mph through Wisconsin on two separate roadtrips with no real tie to my past. What motivated me to take them was simply how beautifully desolate the state looked that spring. That’s what separates my band photography from most of the other photography. Whenever I’m not in a music venue, I’m typically seeking rot and decay, in whatever form that may take. 

You told me you don’t edit your pictures. Some of them have an analog/film look to them while some look more modern but they’re all really fucking awesome! How do you achieve/switch between those styles, in the technical sense? Can you describe your overall process for taking pictures, maybe talk about the gear you use? Feel free to include as much detail as you want — I’m sure there’s plenty of people reading who are into photography!!

Thank you!!

I think what separates the analog vs. modern look to any photo is just how I use the lighting conditions at any given venue.

I use a Nikon D100, one of Nikon’s first DSLRs from 2002, which I specifically bought for its old, beautiful CCD sensor and its poor noise reduction. Definitely not because I could find one for $55 on eBay. I essentially wanted something with a relatively high max ISO so I could drown my photos in as much noise as possible, and to date almost all of my photos are taken that way.

I use two lenses. My general purpose is an f/2.8 28mm manual focus Nikkor AIS that some photography forum thread from 2008 told me is Nikon’s best wide angle lens. I trust them. It’s old, made of metal, looks pretty, and survived getting lost and kicked around a Harvest pit. The other is a lensbaby composer with an edge 80[mm] optic, a tilt-shift lens that allows me to selectively focus on other things in frame that aren’t directly in the center of my viewfinder.

I manually adjust my shutter speed and aperture, and I manually focus, so I’ve got all the control to either succeed and capture something sick or fail and end up with an underexposed, out of focus mess. Lots of the latter. 

raein, sunami

As you said, I don’t edit any of my shots (besides adding white borders to fit an aspect ratio) so the appearance of a photo is influenced by choices made before and during the shot. 

As for my process, any band photography I do is reliant on the lighting at the venue I’m shooting at. I’ll typically start by trying to figure out how much I want to under/overexpose my photos, and adjust as needed throughout each set. I don’t use a light meter. Next, I’ll start looking for angles I find compelling. Throughout a show I’m constantly referencing the photos I’ve just taken on my little LCD screen for hints as to what I need to adjust to give me the best chance of getting a usable photo; that probably separates my process of taking photos from shooting film the most. At the moment, I tend to lean towards portraiture but in the future I’m trying to make an effort to capture more of the energy of the room.

(left to right) herlovebeheadsdaisies, knumears, my buddy eric, bloom dream, whenthedustsettles, datura dread, flooding, eyelet, newfound interest in connecticut

Thank you once again for doing this with me! I’m really excited to post this and showcase your work. Are there any projects (etc.) of yours that you wanna promote? And/or if you’re available for work (live show photography for example) feel free to mention that here.

Thank you for taking the time to put a spotlight on my work! At the moment, aside from whatever I end up posting on instagram, I don’t have any other projects to promote. As for work, I’m just an amateur photographer fucking around with a camera. If you like my work and want me to flick you up, dm or email me!! I’d love a photo pass at events.

Follow Jackson on Instagram - @ever.rot 

Written by Mio | aflowerdrdops. Follow us on Instagram and turn on notifs so you don’t miss an update! 

[loneberry]

Loved the deadpan humor of this piece by Agustín Fernández Mallo. It serendipitously ties all the threads of my summer together... I read novels by Fernández Mallo and Pavese this summer and am en route to Turin in the shadow of Nietzsche. I hope I won't lose my mind in Turin. I hope I won't wail “Mother, I am stupid,” never to recover my fragile wits again.

Should I stay in the room where Pavese suicided? (Maybe that would be grim but I am grim.)

*

When I tell people I am moving to Turin they always say the same thing:

Isn't that where Nietzsche lost his mind?

In fact, Geoff Rickly, the singer of a screamo band I was obsessed with as a teen, asked me this very question as we were chatting in the Moynihan Train Hall at Penn Station in NYC a couple weeks ago, right before I hopped on the Amtrak to DC. (A poster of Rickly's band Thursday is literally plastered on the wall behind my head as I type this from my childhood bedroom in Florida.)

Me: I'm moving to Turin soon.

Geoff: Isn't that where Nietzsche lost his mind?

Me: Yeah, when he witnessed the horse being flogged. Well, the story may be apocryphal...

Geoff: Ah, Turin Horse. Not my favorite Béla Tarr film...

Me: Yeah, it's not even about Nietzsche!

Geoff: Maybe obliquely...

Me: Werckmeister Harmonies is my favorite Béla Tarr.

Geoff: Damnation is mine.

Me: Sátántangó is pretty great.

Geoff: I like the book better.

Me: Oh, I love László Krasznahorkai. [How many times had I practiced pronouncing that unwieldy Hungarian name?? Well the practice paid off I guess... all for this one moment, probably the only time in my life I will have an occasion to utter "Krasznahorkai" aloud.]

[drowning-inmysleep]

love me while I leave. my persona yours to keep

“Maybe someday your 'maker' will come…haul you away, take you apart, and announce the recall of a defective product. What if all that's left of the 'real you' is just a couple of lonely brain cells, huh?”

[edit: 9.26.23] this has since been edited and updated a month post initial release, edits will be notated in red, feel free to skip them to read the original writing. [/] August 20th, 2023 I played my last show in a town (Austin, Texas) I moved to to be with my at the time girlfriend. We're separating now, as I'm returning home (Saint Louis, Missouri), the place I left behind. During my stay in Texas I had a hard time making friends, though that's not to say they weren't readily available. I intentionally avoided making them, partially because I was afraid of leaving them behind if anything were to change and call me back home. I have a crew of friends (Materia) in Saint Louis - the best I've ever had. When I moved, I wanted to take a leap and leave the place I'd spent my entire life, and try to fix my relationship by moving closer to them.

Leaving behind those who loved me so much was something that affected me in a way I wouldn't understand until much later. Saint Louis is one of the top rated most violent cities in the United States. Growing up there I normalized a lot of the things I saw and a lot of the trauma I gained from being in that environment. It's shaped me as a person, both good and bad. I got good at existing there, as I spent most of my teenage years in the inner city going to DIY shows.

Most of the shows were Emo / Screamo revival, and eventually that's where I started as a musician. I think Emo / Screamo music is so prevalent in the Midwest because the Midwest is a comfortable but at times very bleak and sad landscape. In the city you can see someone get murdered in front of you, and in the plains farmer's kill themselves because the world moved on without them. The veracity and unrelenting emotional outpour of these genres is some sort of ancestral representation of growing up somewhere like that. Paired with the ignorant approach to song writing / sound engineering, it represents the lack of educational opportunities whether it be due to generational financial issues or dismal public schools, paired with familial trauma from living here. It's pure.

I always dreamed of being a musician as a child, if anything it's the only dream I ever had. Once I started working on my solo project, I was having a hard time being booked in Saint Louis since there wasn't a scene for the music I made. So - I decided to make one for myself. That's how Materia came to be. I wanted to bring as many different people together as possible, so we formed the crew in a way that each member represented a different aspect of the Saint Louis music / night life community. Our first shows were in peoples basements, or shitty bars in the bad parts of town. Just like the DIY shows I started out in when I was 19. Over time Materia got big enough to where I finally became recognized as my solo project in my own city, but by the time it took hold I fear I was too jaded to appreciate it. Before Materia, I had been playing shows all over the country, and was recognized globally for what I made and what I was involved in. Even with that being said, playing shows out in places like LA and NYC revealed a dark reality to the dream I had. That reality being that even if you do blow up, the lifestyle of being a internationally recognized musician doesn't create a long-term sustainable lifestyle. What it can / inevitably will create, is a perception of you others hold based on your art and performance of it. At first it felt really cool to have people think I'm a celebrity of sorts, that I am the dark persona I portray in my music. Over time it felt less and less genuine, that being others opinions of me. As I got bigger I built up a slow poison of being paranoid people only saw me for my plays on soundcloud, follower count, or pre packaged brand I created for myself. Eventually that paranoia showed itself as not just being paranoia, it was partially true. A lot of the music and art I make is representative of the difficulty I've endured mentally. I spent most of my childhood/teen years disassociating and hiding away in MMORPGs. I felt more able to genuinely express myself in these digital worlds. In the real world I was being made fun of for looking like a girl, and being forced to fight others to just be left alone. I had to survive, and eventually I started fighting myself. I tried to kill myself multiple times.

These experiences alienated me in a way that my friends that did experience my breakdowns eventually distanced themselves from me, and I don't blame them for it. It's a lonely feeling. I try to replicate that in music, both that feeling of yearning for lost times / feelings of comfort felt in a video game, while knowing that those times are gone and they weren't that good of escape to begin with and - the feeling of knowing the damage you've caused. I can't listen to a lot of the music I've made in the past because it hurts too much, it's like reading a suicide note from a failed attempt. Jumping back to me now, a 28 year old DnB / Trance musician, I am pretty consistently swarmed with people praising and celebrating me. On one hand I really appreciate it, on the other it is the actualization of the paranoia mentioned above. My fans enjoy my music because what they earn from it, they have no idea what I was going through when I made it. I've been told I've helped people going through similar things that I went through as a teenager, and I love that. Last night at my final show in Texas, a genuine fan of mine expressed that I was a good example for them to follow as a trans woman. This is the case in which that paranoia I mentioned is not true.

As I had a hard time making friends in Texas, I also had a hard time getting booked or respected for who I am as an artist. Even though I'm arguably one of the biggest contemporary electronic artists in this city, a city in which there's so many shows it's oversaturated, I was hardly ever booked. This is similarly due to why I did not have friends, as I didn't want to have to put the work in again. I felt like I didn't need to, and that's my fault.

The show we threw last night in Texas was with my crew of people gathered semi randomly through hilariously unplanned circumstances. This crew is called Unreal.

Two months ago, someone on instagram hit me up and told me they had a generator, asked if I wanted to do a show. Through my jaded eyes I almost laughed at the idea, like sure, lets try and throw a show in 2 days. That person became one of my best friends almost immediately. It's like we were meant to of always known eachother. [edit.9.26.23] This friend has gone on to completely isolate themselves from me along with my ex, as they started to hangout only two days after I left. I guess that paranoia mentioned above bleeds into more than just fans right? These are two more people that proved to me they loved me for the caricature presented in my music more than the person I am in real life.

I will do my best to not let this further validate my paranoia of getting close with anyone who know me only as Manapool. [/] I grabbed a friend from a failed show in Texas, my girlfriend and lastly another who arguably was the only friend I had during the almost year I lived here. The first show was a success and we decided to do it again when my girlfriend returned from her trip to Europe. Last night was that show. I'd been working on a album that represented the dark place I'd been in for the past few months, mainly stemming from preparing to leave my partner. This project is called Mana no Uta, or The Song of Mana. While a genuine portrayal of the dark place I'd been in, it was also my attempt of taking a semi ironic genre (Nightcore) and making it painfully authentic. Nightcore is a genre that mainly takes pop songs and speeds them up, with the lyrics usually being romantic or broken hearted in subject manner.

Every now and then I come across a Nightcore version of a song that hits in a much more graphic way than it's origin. I have attempted to bottle that lightning into six songs, pushing their Maker to their nightmarish limit. In a way this circles back to my taste for being punishingly nostalgic. To me, real art not only moves you but haunts you. [edit: 9.26.23] While I genuinely loved my partner, this year I had spent living with them ended up doing an immense amount of psychological damage. I'm doing my best not to write about her in a negative light, but I consistently felt neglected. I wanted things to work, all in all that's why I sacrificed the life I had in Saint Louis in the first place. That feeling of neglection and failure to recognize the effort and love I'd given led to deep rooted feelings of resentment. Eventually this resentment bled into my perception of self, and in a way it poisoned me. I felt guilty for being unable to rid myself of these, regardless, I was constantly in a state of accepted defeat paired with anger at myself for leaving Saint Louis behind just to end up unhappy.

These feelings are what I wanted to represent in this album. Isolation paired with wishing you could salvage the love you have for someone while knowing it's already too deep.

It's part of you. I often felt sick. [/] I wanted people to feel sick listening to it, like you're at the club and you took too much ketamine but you can't go home. Or you're about to play a set but in a fight with your girlfriend. Everyone around you is having so much fun but you're not and you won't. Both the ketamine example and the ladder are things I've experienced in achieving the dream mentioned above. I don't want people to relate to this album. I want it to hurt them. Last night, I played the album in it's entirety as a parting gift to fans like the ones that said such sweet things to me last night. Me and my (now) ex-girlfriend got into a fight on the way to the show. It went over very well, and by the time the live performance phase of my set (Mana No Uta) was over, I began to cry as I transitioned into djing for the last portion of my set. I finished the set and tried to escape to go clear my head. On the way out someone gave me ketamine, I took some and went outside to be alone and get myself together after performing my most emotional piece yet. I wasn't really able to decompress, I kept thinking about how I'd be moving away from here and leaving everyone behind. As this is happening, I'm getting swarmed by people telling me they loved my set, complimenting me, celebrating me. I appreciated it but I wanted to be left alone. Performing that album felt like a instance of public self harm. I was literally going through what I wanted the album to represent. I was the character I created in the screenplay I wrote.

As the night ended the sadness I felt for leaving these new friends and my girlfriend overtook me. It scared me. I'm scared right now. But the worst part is it felt familiar. It felt exactly like leaving Saint Louis. These people will never leave my life permanently, but i'm leaving them behind. [edit: 9.26.23] I will most likely never engage with my ex-partner nor the friend mentioned in the last edit ever again. [/] To reiterate, as I'm realizing this and being consumed by it (at the show) people are coming up to me celebrating me. They're telling me how cool I looked. Telling me how amazing my set was. Telling me how much they love the character I play. I had just played the one of the most genuine sets of my life, and still at the end of it I didn't feel like they understood. My emotion was on my face, my true persona on my sleeve. My eyes were red from crying, my hands were shaking from amphetamines. Still I'm seen as the persona I sold them. Once you release your art to the world, it is no longer yours. The experiences people have listening to it are something I'll never fully understand, as they will never understand me. If they actually knew me, would they still be so impressed with what I've done? Who I've become? [edit: 9.26.23] Looking back on this writing and the album now that's it's finished, and now that i'm no longer in the heart of it's conceptual storm - I can truly say I am proud of what I made. I am most proud of being able to create something that had the emotional relevance that it could even put me in a situation mentioned at the end. In a way creating such a dark piece punished me and I will always love this album for that. I spent a lot of energy on making something that'd make the listener uncomfortable, and being the person to perform it made me just as uncomfortable. That's pure.With all that being said I don't feel as if I won't be able to listen to or play these songs out post release, as while it was based on the miasma I was in, I also wanted to make some dark club friendly Nightcore for the girls to grind to. Without:Me is my favorite song I've made in a very long time. I made it in one sitting on Umami's computer the day of Materia XX. The final song will most likely be the most difficult to revisit, however. I finished the song and then two hours later broke up with my girlfriend. It's titled: In Goodbye. [/]

[ameltzerdesign]

Nuvolascura / Zmar - 5.8.2024 @ Gold Sounds

Quick banger mixing medical illustrations, blue prints, and some sacred geometry because shapes rule. Or something. I dunno, I spent more time trying to shop painfully lo-res screamo logos than I did actually making the art on this one.

[screamosucks]

[amorinfinit0]

down with nyc screamo scene and up with goth scene but also twee revival.. is that too much to ask….

[shainawexlervoice]

ABOUT

As a classically trained professional singer/songwriter and performing artist singing has long been my deepest passion and most authentic expression of self! For the past 16 years, I have found so much joy in sharing this vocal expression with voice students around the world -helping them to cultivate, grow and expand their voices!

I love working with all levels, genders, and ages (8-96). I teach all styles and genres-from musical theatre to screamo. I have clients who are now on Broadway, some who are recording artists, some who are touring rock musicians, some looking to transition their voice, and some who just want to feel confident singing “Happy Birthday”! Whatever your reason for wanting to develop your voice- you are in the right place!

As singer/songwriter I have produced and released multiple studio albums, and have been on two international concert tours. Prior to that, I was a professional musical theater performer for nine years, starring in shows from L.A. to NYC!

As a vocal coach, I prioritize creating an uplifting, inviting space where students can express themselves through vocalization, build solid breath support, expand their range, and learn how to use body mechanics to help power their voice in healthy, sustainable ways. In my sessions, I also address the mental/psychological relationship with the voice- helping clients remove limiting beliefs and practices from their singing.

Your coaching sessions with me will include personalized stretches/body openers, breathwork, vocal agility games, and singing your very favorite songs and styles of music.

 As a vocal coach, I strive to forge honest connections with my students. I am grateful to be present for them and meet them wherever they are mentally, physically and emotionally on any given day - not just as an instructor, but as a human who cares. I consider it an important part of my role to help my students build confidence and self-esteem in their singing and in themselves!

If you are ready to take vocal lessons with me, please contact me for a consultation: Shainawexler@gmail.com or click the "Book Now" tab and click on "Vocal Coaching" to schedule your first session!