#nvm only 13th

[number-one-hog-hater]

What happened to tumblr mobile??? I go outside and touch grass (read sand) ONE TIME and it's CHANGED?!??!

[kats-bullshit]

Watching Brazil gp 2016

and my comments (mostly just me crying over Max and a lot of emojis, don't expect any wheel knowledge)

Max looks so young 😭

can't believe it, they're actually praising Max 🤯

GP sounds exactly the same 😂

6 laps and the safety car is still there, when will the fun begin? 😔

Toto looks so fucking young wtf

why is Max as VES on the timesheet instead of VER? (oh, apparently someone else had VER (reverse driver?))

intermediates with so much water still? Seems like a bad idea

the new timesheet is so much better, you can't see shit on the old one

Sebastian! That looked scary!

brocedes trading the fastest lap. I wish I'd watched their fight live 😔

Max going into pitlane when Ericsson was there looked terrifying from far away, but from the onboard, it looked quite controlled from Max's side

Horner and Magnussen's radio at the same time, congratulations, I didn't hear either of them 😒

safety car again

KIMI NOOO

safety car again 🥲

hearing Sebastian being a bitch (rightfully of course), I wish I watched him race and be a menace live

red flag, stupid rain

wow, Carlos, you don't have to look so good, chill

young Max again 😭

another crash, I wonder if they'll drive the whole race or finish earlier

"he is very much letting Nico Rosberg know he's there" Max being Nico's nightmare is so funny to me 😂

Max looks like when you're trying to pass some a very slow-walking person on the pavement. left, right, left, right 😂

and another red flag. I should've just watched the highlights 😭

IS THAT CHARLES

Daniel ☹️

this is the worst race to watch today, I don't have the patience for this today

I'm going to take my dogs on a walk and the race will probably still be red-flagged

we're racing again, I wonder for how long (lap 29/71)

I'm literally only watching this race for that one Max's overtake on Rosberg, how long till I'll finally see it 😭

Perez in 4th so weird, who would have thought he can do that

MAX VERSTAPPEN OVERTAKING NICO ROSBERG

"What confidence! The boy just goes and finds grip everywhere else! Okay, you're going there, I'll just go somewhere else then and see how it is out there! Absolutely brilliant"

"Get in there Maxy" 😭

I've seen everything I needed 😂

Fastest lap for Max. Little truck terror at the age of 19 stressing brocedes

SHIT MAX almost crashed! Kept it on the track beautifully, but Rosberg on his ass now! He kept the second! Looks to me like Max feels way more confident in the rain than Rosberg

Max's driving looked so calm during that almost crash. I'm always in awe of how the driver can keep calm in that speed

Max 5th again bc of the pitstop :/ and again intermediates when a heavy rain is supposed to come?

one thing didn't change, drivers screaming about being pushed from the track

imagine if Nico crashed, he would kiss that championship goodbye

and we've got another crash and safety car, yay 😒 just 20 laps to go, pls

RedBull just trading intermediates and wet like socks

Max in the pits again. I wonder how the race will end, max in 16th and 23 minutes till the end of the race.

nvm, Max in 13th 🤣

The 3 RedBulls in a row looked so cool

Max in the points!

"One word to describe Max: relaxed" "He's outrageous" "it's a textbook lesson on how to drive in the rain" the commentators are praising Max so much 😭 bring this energy back, I want to hear it in 2024 😭

Daniel and Max match each other's freak fr

what the fuck did they do to the cars now, people just casually are gaining 11 positions and now they barely overtaking 😕 or maybe it's the track, ig I'll see when Brazil happens this year

so Max just pushed Sebastian off the track and no one is screaming and calling for his murder?? They were amused by the thought of the talk whether Sebastian was ahead or not?? what is going on 🤯

RedBull loves Max so much 😭

Max is on the fucking podium from 16th and he is getting praise from everyone 😭

[patchdotexe]

doip. / 9.13.24: happy friday the 13th everybody

no this isn't two weeks overdue. i definitely did not have the world's most executive dysfunction about this and we definitely are not playing again Tomorrow. dont look at the date. dont

technically this is no longer doip. bc we have graduated from Dragon of Icespire Peak to Storm Lord's Wrath! but also doip. is iconic to me and slw doesn't have the same ring to it in a post title. snakes loving women

last time: Kepesk left the party to rejoin his old group, the Wilders, and the rest of the Skeleton Crew set out on a mission from Lord Neverember to head to the town of Leilon and help rebuild it! i spend the entirety of this session forgetting the second half of that sentence. this bodes well for me

today we're recording the session! and by we i mean nyx.

nyx: my computer go fast. leo: ..is that good? nyx: no.

(jorb wants a video record for archival reasons, im continuing notetaking bc its fun and more accessible for me than watching a ~2hr vod.)

oh nevermind, trying to record killed nyx on the spot. im recording now! i am also the only person that doesnt have spoilers on my character sheet apparently. jorb is doing a recap of the story so far! which is very appreciated because it has been several years. :,D

jorb: [..] big al calazorn-- leo: calzorne??? jorb: calazorn. leo: big al calzone vocaloid real??? jorb: no.

we're on the road to viridian ciiityyyyy there's a building at the triboar trail intersection! it's an inn / tavern. a tavinn, if you will. ah. people are trying to… break into the tavinn? something is Off about them. that's not good. theyve broken in! TIME FOR ALIDAAR TO SAVE THE DAY. oh shit, its zombies. good thing the skeleton crew is here!

dauble is curled up on alidaar like a scarf. perfect position to put him into a chokehold

im microwaving nyx.

arepo opens the fight with a spray of cards! and the half-elf lady in the tavinn is also good at dealing out damage. lets go! whoa. okay these guys might be capable on their own, actually. oh my god lmao. i was gonna say "nvm one of em has a nat1" but then it still hit. that owns. even random tavinn owners are ready to kick ass at any given moment

This Table Has A Hitpoint Bar

(there's a table being used as a barricade and the zombies are trying to break it down. jorb looked up how exactly that works and discovered that the table has a silly amount of hp. and then nyx asked him to put a hp bar on the table.)

jorb: are you happy?! nyx: i am. i am happy.

alidaar backhands a zombie to death.

(im screwing around in combat more and that includes doing things like "figuring out how to use unarmed strikes" and "getting silly with it". alidaar did, quite literally, backhand a zombie to kill it)

oh fuck theres wraiths too. thats not good. arepo gets so startled he vicious mockery's a wraith lmao OH THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. BADLY. WRAITHS SCARY :0 dauble has channel divinity + turn undead! dauble blasts everything with their fucking Aura

Alidaar Is So Fucking Annoyed these zombies do Not like staying down. alidaar does a cool slide under a table about it and climbs up on top to breath weapon! it does not achieve much. i hate it here i need to stop punching things bc then i lose track of my attacks. bc i have mainhand-offhand-mainhand and i got pretty used to the rhythm of it. but also im trying to vary up how i approach combat bc otherwise i feel like im doing the same thing over and over One Of The Wraiths Has Fucking Left

dauble and doorc are just chilling here. wait nevermind doorc is on the move. wait nevermind doorc is still just chilling hes just chilling somewhere else

(one of the npcs is an orc guarding the door. he is now forever the doorc to me.)

THIS FUCKING WRAITH IS 240 FEET AWAY FROM THE INN. ITS JUST GOING. IT CAN GO THROUGH WALLS. ITS STEALING RAVIOLI OOPS ALIDAAR'S MAX HP WENT DOWN. 59 -> 36! haha im in danger

nyx: how many times can i embarrass this wraith before it just gives up?

RED WRAITH DOWN! …blue wraith still on the loose. um. hm Ol' Pisspants Wraithy Will Come Back Eventually [dauble voice] Ol' Pisspants Wraithy ol' pisspants wraithy is fucking pissed

jorb: dauble, you're up! (leo: dauble!) nyx: im using turn undead. leo: NO,

dauble has used turn undead again. alidaar stares at dauble. crosses his arms. does nothing. arepo checks his pocketwatch. we wait Another Two Minutes for turn undead to wear off and this fucker to come back DAUBLE IS GETTING FUCKING OWNED dauble is down for the count! DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT alidaar does a sick flip, shoots the wraith with his crossbow, and then while arepo is getting ready to attack i remember i can still attack twice with this awful thing and miss. fantastic

doorc is the most competent person in this entire encounter.

dauble is rolling well on death saves at least :,D

nyx: [deadpan] you can tell by the joy in my voice. jason: you sound ecstatic. nyx: i am.

ALIDAAR IS SICK OF THIS WRAITH'S SHIT. IT IS NOW CONFETTI. GOODBYE

jorb: you know how trunks kills frieza? leo: yeah.

jorb: so dauble is dying,

alidaar pours a potion of healing on dauble. please do not cease to be dauble is okay! hooray! also we've saved martisha, teegar, and coorag. teegar and coorag are married and i mixed up who is who and thought there was lesbians. there isnt. sad. alidaar is carrying dauble around like a cat. he is Very unhappy that dauble ate shit and is bad at displaying it so there's a lot of Wiggling Dauble to make sure theyre ok hooray, we're heroes! somebody is paying for our lodging and teegar's paying for our drinks :D

arepo has ordered a diet dr pepper.

jorb: she gets you a nice frothy mug of diet dr. pepper.

arepo is socializing while i catch up on note-taking bc i was busy driving the bus diet dr pepper is the famous local brew. its a peppery version of diet doctor coorag has a trident necklace! arepo recognizes it as a symbol for water stuff. i have immediately forgotten jorb's phrasing. something something not faith just lifestyle we are two hexagons away from the ocean.

alidaar is making friends! and eating pork pie. and also shoving dauble's face into pork pie. DURNALD DEEPCRUST. LMFAO

(that's the name of the cook. he's a dwarf. also the return of the "cryovain is alidaar's dad" joke happened so alidaar (lovingly) bullied dauble over it)

alidaar is a wuss when it comes to spicy so he ends up having to use bardic inspiration and a tiny bit of frost breath to survive this pork pie. this is hilarious alidaar has unlocked a tastebud. just one. OH MY GOD MY MEMORY IS STRUGGLING SO BAD. hi. we're going to a place i forgot how to spell to help with repairs. one of the people alidaar's befriended, silla, is heading there to try and do fishing stuff and get a job. also she plays the harmonica :3 alidaar has successfully played the flute! and one of the other patrons is singing along about defending the inn and then getting owned by the spicy pies. this is adorable

dauble is taking everything so normally.

dauble: can we get the 3 bed rooms? alidaar: yeah sure :3 alidaar: [lies down] dauble: [gets in alidaar's bed] alidaar:

ah. hm. dauble has sneaked off to do something while alidaar and arepo are sleeping. that's.. fine. the third bed is for twigbias. dauble is tucking the terrarium in.

aaaand that's the session! \o/

(these are way more disorganized than usual. hoo boy. juggling "being the guy that initiates interactions", "making sure the recording functions properly", and "taking notes" means that some stuff got a bit unbalanced. this is still more thorough notes than i took for the first session of doip at least lmao)

[lesbienneanarchiste]

I'm gonna say something that I feel only mildly about, that has only just occured to me, and that is not a hill I'm willing to even be injured on nvm die on. But.

I think maybe "people who are very into the Friday the 13th and Halloween franchises" are to "fans of horror generally" what "Disney adults" are to "fans of fantasy generally" 🤔

[pandrewlin]

Just sum no context/might give context writing that ive done for my fav and current save in rimworld.

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"You are a waste of her gift" Anya snorts and intentionally pressses one of his wounds harshly.

○Wade○

"I am trying my best ya know, with only my hands and no weapon or armor. You were rushing me to pack up to find this stupid weapon and i couldn't even find my own."

○Anya○

"Still to end up having to soil your pants and stripped by the enemy is entirely too much. Then you couldnt even win and ended up having to be saved."

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Wade gets into yet another fit of anger after trying to conversate with Kurthos and turns to Anya and says

"Anyania where'd you meet this guy? This twerp keeps speaking as if you picked him up at a mental hospital!??"

And Anya just calmly responds back in full seriousness

"How'd you guess? He was such a cutie that i couldnt pass him up!"

(Anyania is Anya's full birth name and she hates it but allows only her uncle to call her it. Kurthos knows better to not use the name and all the help and servents know better to not try to piss Anya off or else their head will be on the stakes outside)

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"Shes gonna leave with our maid if we dont do something about that" Kurthos twidles his fingers nervously.

"And do what you nimwit, we told her the walls would keep her safe and she went out to pick fucking berries! As if she doesnt eat half the food she cooks and more if she thinks nobody sees her!" Wade cannot believe what he is hearing. Especially when he already knows that the one who will have to do 'something' will be him.

"I dont want to have to clean those big rooms myself. They wouldnt listen to me when i told them to stay still and clean after themselves earlier. The walls laughed in my face." Kurthos frowns slightly

"Honey could you be a dear and tell them to stay clean. They listen to you rather better."

"Of course my love. Though I'd rather just find some other forsaken person out past the hills to come clean up the premises for us."

15 of Septober

Rangly dirty middle aged man falls down from the sky. Wade runs to try to catch him but forgets we built a thick high wall and then proceeds to try to climb it to get to before said dirty middle aged man.

Im sure that my goddess only blessed him because of his blood and not his brains. Even though he doesnt fully believe in her yet but soon he will.

Anyway when Wade got to the dude I realized he had brought the midtech medpacks with him and although I probably should've stopped him, I just let him since we did just get a full stack of glitter medpacks last week.

Nvm we should throw Wade out of the walls and let the raiders have him. HE PUT THAT DIRTY OLD MAN IN MY BRAND NEW BED AND WHEN I TRIED TO TAKE HIM OUT AND PUT HIM SOMETHWHERE ELSE HE CRIED AND SAID "OH NO HE'S INJURED." Oh how i wish the goddess would just leave him for dead next time!

The dirty man has woken up and has since been in a frenzy talking about how his daughter is some baroness in the empire and she is waiting for him. Yadda yaddo doo if you ask me. I wanted to keep him as our new maid/butler but my dear husband also agrees with my uncle and says we should let him return since he has family. :(

I cant deny my sweet darling though so Wade wins this time and ONLY this time.

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12th of Decembary

Update the stinky man died:)

I might've closed and locked the bedroom that we put him in.🤷🏽‍♀️ Wade has the keys though. He could've opened it but apparently his nice charity act leaves once one of his research projects takes up his time again.

13th of Decembary

Our gardener died:(. Now Kurthos has to plant and harvest all by himself. He is happy to pick up the work though so maybe its for the best.

14th of Decembary

We manged to hire 2 new servants. A doctor and a crafter/miner. I will have the crafter start making up some statues as i want to decorate the place. Also the new house has been built and floored. I am working on setting up some lights in the hallways and rooms as sleeping in the dark is never good.

The very first thing our crafter does when he gets here is apparently flirt with our doctor.

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4th of Aprimay

Some feral child is wandering near the northern walls. Looks saurid and probably about to enter preteen age by the looks of it. Kurthos wants to go out and convince him to stay because in his head "then our child can have a play date to grow up with". Im not totally against the idea but he seems a little old and I've known saurids to be aggressive.

6th of Aprimay

A muffalo hit one of the same damn traps that Wade hit earlier. Lucky that we have that mj girl she has a god's touch for repairing skin and bones. Throw some glitterworld medicine and she could heal the dead probably. Unfortunately the muffalo died before she got there but thats okay we have a few left.

9th of Aprimay

Wade has been mostly out of commision since the trap incident due to his injuries and an infection. But he apparently managed to use his hurt and frail body to woo our doctor, MJ. I have pulled her aside to let her know that even though she works for us and theres a bit of a power gap, that if she's being forced to like him then i could slip her some money and a pack animal to run away with.

She kindly smiled at me and just said that he is interesting and his love for cooking wowed her. Huh guess he's got sum charm then ig. Dont know if they're gonna stay together but if they are serious then we can convert our old bedroom turned hospital room into a couple room again.

Got the lights working in the new house too. Adding a few in the dining room just to make sure it stays lit. Tried to set some up in the old house but the power grid over there collapsed because the batteries kept breaking.

10 of Aprimay

Its 2 in the morning and someone is chatting over the intercom about needing a place to stay for 6 days. Got a group of 4, leader named Kisaki, old caravan robbing and nothing and nowehere to go.

Wade is on his charity behaviour again and says we should take them and for once.....i agree. We need some new hands around here because the whole MJ/Wade situation has me making a plan to turn the old house into a boarding house so then any new servants dont have such awful rooms and can have a little luxury.

Forgot to get them some rooms before they got over here but thats the wonderful part! They'll be making them!

I asked them about their skills and needs and adjusted them to job work accordingly.

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1st of Jugust

Been a while since ive written. The refugee group of servants has left now and this is all they've done since they got here-

Move most of the rocks to the new place for a possible stone workshop.

A series of 3 bedrooms were made. They will be converted into guest bedrooms.

Mined most of the unnecessary rock forces away.

Also huilt the second entrance to the outside but its mainly just for raiders

3rd of Jugust

Wade and Mj have recently announced that they are engaged. Wade is going around smirking and smiling, i hope MJ rethinks this. Glad to know divorce isnt a sin to our goddess. Also i have recently noticed neither are formally members of our religion so i have tooken it upon myself to change that.

I have told her now that since the relationship has progressed so far, she is no longer a servant but she still has to listen to me as i am the master of this house and field. Kurthos is happy to build another double bed for the couple.

6th of Jugust

My pregnancy is nearing the end now. I can feel it. My stomach is wide enough where opening doors takes longer and walking outside the walls takes half the day because of limited speed. Kurthos asks that i stay near the house and chill for the upcoming days and at this point im eager to listen to my dear. My days are filled with walks and looking at fish and playing horseshoes.

Oh however MJ stepped over a trap earlier and although we tried to save her life at first, she died. The goddess has accepted her although MJ hasnt though so she isnt dead dead. She will get used to the feeling of death being further.

9th of Jugust

I have been feeling like I've forgotten something over these passing days and i finnally remembered this morning. There was a boy that i wanted to recruit outside the walls but i forgot with all the other stuff that was happening in the walls. I was curious if he died or finally passed the area and i found my answer when wade came back after searching the near grounds. The poor boy apparently got too cold during the spring and had no where to go so he slowly froze and died. He wouldve loved this heat wave we are recently having.

Speaking of heat wave I've had Kurthos be a dear and set up some passive coolers for some rooms around the house even though he swears its not that hot. Apparetly only me and MJ are feeling the sweltering heat as all the men(even Leikvoid!) have sworn that its normal heat outside. How odd.

10th of Jugust

My wife is in no condition to continue writing for right now so she asked me to finish it. The baby was born healthy and oh so cutely. Named him Michelangelo. He's a cutie patootie.

[anyasmcm]

November 7th - 13th research

Observational research:

This week I went to Printed Matter in Chelsea to do some observational research exclusively relating to words. I wanted to see different type faces, methods of communicating, and see if I could find words in a purely material form. I'm not sure if it was super helpful for where I'm headed with my project, but I did enjoy seeing different fonts and feeling the textures on the covers and pages of books. I'd like to do some active research using different types of paper since I enjoy the material and also want to see if it would be a better fit for my current idea than the beads.

Here were a few of the works that made me think about material, organizing text, fonts, and deceiving the viewer.

Active research:

I ordered a ghillie suit and I decided to take some photos with just the head piece on because I felt like it but also because I wanted to see how it would look and tbh it looks pretty cool:

I agree that they're kinda goofy, but I'm starting to think about possibly just doing a head piece and wearing baggy clothing, like streetwear style clothing.

The reason I'm thinking about just doing a head piece and then wearing baggy clothing kind of flows into my other active research I did this week.

I started to realize that I want my audience to be people my age, and the main form of communication for people my age is texting. Streetwear is also incredibly popular among people my age, so I think the fusion of these two ideas has kind of manifested itself this week in the piece I worked on this week.

I knew I couldn't realistically make a ghillie head piece using beads this week because I'd need a sewing machine and I don't know how to use one (its been a while). I still wanted to create a piece with beads, so I decided to create a set of text messages between 2 people that exclusively uses the following words:

What are you doing (WYD), let me know (LMK), I don't know (IDK), be right back (BRB), right now (RN), I don't care (IDC), laughing my ass off (LMAO), what the fuck (WTF), just kidding (JK), nevermind (NVM), I love you (ILY), love you so much (LYSM), hugs and kisses (XOXO), how about you (HBU), shut the fuck up (STFU), to be honest (TBH), I don't give a fuck (IDGAF), shaking my head (SMH), happy birthday (HBD), I miss you (IMY), talk to you later (TTYL).

The rules I set for myself for this conversation are:

Each word can only be used 2 times, once in it's full length and once in its abbreviation

Only the words above can be used

This created an odd conversation but it's surprisingly cohesive (each little cluster is intended to be a new set of conversation)(labeled person a (a) and person b (b) for easier reading):

a: WYD b: Right now a: LMK b: IDK a: Nevermind b: BRB

a: What are you doing? b: RN a: IDC b: I don’t know a: What the fuck b: Just kidding a: I don’t care b: LMAO a: I don’t give a fuck

b: Happy birthday a: Shut the fuck up b: WTF a: JK b: I miss you a: Hugs and kisses

b: To be honest a: Be right back b: NVM

a: Let me know b: ILY

a: How are you? b: LYSM a: XOXO b: HBU a: STFU b: Laughing my ass off

a: TBH b: IDGAF a: Shaking my head b: Love you so much a: SMH

b: HBD a: I love you b: IMY a: Talk to you later b: TTYL

I wanted to craft this conversation in a way that was somewhat easy to understand, but also gave the vibe that there was more going on behind the scenes, outside of the text messages. I also tried to create a couple inside jokes, such as person a acting like an asshole as a joke and person b doing it as well towards the end of the convo. By hanging this piece on my mirror, its unavoidable that you stare at yourself while reading the messages. Ultimately, these are just letters on beads that form words. However, its the viewer who projects personalities into the conversations and finds meaning in these convos, whether its a blossoming romance or friendship.

Something that really interests me about text conversations is that people do not text when they are together (unless the situation permits it). So what you're left with are these weird gaps where there is clearly a shift in the vibe of the conversation, but as a reader who only sees the texts, we cannot understand what happened between each conversation.

I really enjoyed making this piece, and it made me more excited to try and dive more into studying text messages and the communication that surrounds my generation as well as fuse streetwear with that communication.

[racingliners]

F1 Re-watch 2022: Round 6 - Spain

To quote Manuel from Fawlty Towers: I know nothing

The only thing I remember from this race is the gifs of Seb and Lewis sharing an umbrella during the national anthem.

So yeah, this could be... fun???

I did not know Lewis and Schumi were the joint most successful winners in Spain. That is a fun fact (Just goat things)

Also Charles is on pole, so I fear I know how this race is ending.

Seb in 16th 😭 (To repeat a previous point, the AMR22 was beautiful, but boy she was a tractor)

Livery watch: Alpine preeeeeeeeetty (blue and pink livery my utter beloved)

Lewis starting on the mediums??????

Fernando taking his sweet, sweet time getting to the grid

[Start/Lap 1]: Another clear turn 1, I’m genuinely shocked

oop didn’t last long Lewis and Kev went into each other

Seb up into 13th though!!!

[Lap 5]: Damn Ocon got past Dan like he was slicing through butter

[Lap 6]: and again on Mick

ahhhhhh Seb on Fernando violence

THAT’S MY BOY!!!

(Insert quote about how Seb and Fernando have always raced each other)

Ugh Fernando got back past it was fun while it lasted

[Lap 7]: Oop Sainz in the gravel

[Lap 9]: Verstappen in the gravel????

Not the gust of wind excuse. *2015 Testing flashbacks*

[Lap 10]: Comms are already talking about team orders. 😬

oof Dan dropping down the top 10 like a stone 😶

[Lap 12]: Russell’s car is overheating???

[Lap 13]: And Verstappen’s DRS isn’t working. 

F1 cars don’t like heat too much do they?

[Lap 14]: Given how the second half of the season went I simply do not trust the face that Leclerc is leading by 14 seconds. I will not be lulled into a false sense of security by Ferrari I know better. I just about survived Seb’s years there 😭

Unrelated: where is my midfield spice???

Livery watch: Alfa Romeo preeeeetty

[Lap 15]: SEB IN P5 STOP THE RACE

(shhh I know he hasn’t stopped yet)

“DRS = Doesn’t Really Stay” Brundle I will give you that one right bc that was funny

This race is playing into Ferrari’s hands and I still don’t trust it

aeuvheugh we’re not in 2002 Crofty

(which reminds me I need to watch some old Schumi races when I have the time)

[Lap 20]: “So Perez is on a one stop” “Blimey!” fguehguehsg

Tell me George is British without telling me he’s British

Stop interrupting Ted, let him speak!!!

[Lap 22]: Yay Seb finally pits... and drops from 8th to 17th 😭

[Lap 24]: Russell on Verstappen violence, some spice at last

Who would win? A multiple F1 race winner or one (1) rear wing flap?

Livery watch: Glossy silver Merc preeeetty

[Lap 26]: uerhaguiehgueh Perez straight up asking for Verstappen to be moved out the way. I would have spat out my tea had I been taking a drink.

“Why won’t you let me by?” Honestly, valid question.

(I’m still laughing)

[Lap 27]: Ah. There it is. The sight and sound of Ferrari betrayal. Number 16 Ferrari goes poof.

Rule 1 of watching F1: Never, ever trust Ferrari

Ted is surprised. I am not.

Ouch, that on-board of the car dying is brutal though.

ANYWAY Seb up into P13 let’s get it

aaaand Lewis got past him 😔 (It’s fine it’s Lewis I’ll allow it)

[Lap 31]: Oop Perez’s turn to get past a car like cutting through butter

(something something the W13 was not a sexy car)

VAL’S IN THIRD?????

I mean it didn’t last very long but DAMN

[Lap 33]: SEB INTO THE TOP 10!!!! STOP THE RACE

I take it it’s bc others pitted, but anyway STOP THE RACE

I feel like this race sums up the 2022 Season. Ferrari start strong, then they fuck up. Red Bull pick up the pieces.

[Lap 39]: BOTTAS IS IN 4TH???? FOURTH?????

I mean damn Val go off but FOURTH?!

Seb gets passed by Lando for 9th

Ferrari engineers looking at their remaining engines like:

PASTOR MALDONADO?!?!

[Lap 43]: aaaaand we’re back with Seb vs Fernando

nvm Seb pitted

Livery watch: metallic green AM preeeetty

continued Seb footage... feels good feels organic

[Lap 47]: Bono sighting!!!

...RBR team orders.

If I speak 😶

(They are 1.7 seconds apart my dudes)

What do you mean this race was six years after 2016???

Christ has it been that long??? The season aged me more than I’d care to admit

[Lap 50]: Bottas is still in P4. Porridge power.

[Lap 57]: Mick: Can I get points??? F1: NO

It’s fine he scores points with Seb in Silverstone 🥺😭

[Lap 58]: Three car fight for 4th? 👀

oh nvm that lasted two corners

Crofty shut up about Seb and Mick crashing in Miami I don’t want to hear about it

[Lap 60]: Oh that was a nice pass from Lewis on Sainz

I would like an emotional support Bono, he sounded so proud 😭

[Lap 64]: Seb in P11. 15 secs behind P10. 😭

DNF risk on the Mercs???? wat

OH cooling issues. shit.

cut to Displeased Toto™️.

[Lap 66/Finish]: A water leak??? a water leak?????

Anyway Verstappen won quelle surprise

Are the Mercs gonna finish though???

They lived!! That was very wild though.

Hmm. It was fine I guess?? Much more interesting than Miami, but the bar was very low. I missed my spicy midfield drama. Russell v Verstappen was fun to watch, and seeing Lewis come through the field as Lewis does was cool. Overall 6 front wings out of 10. Monaco next!

[drawlfoy]

pink in the night p.4 - FINALE!

masterlist

series masterlist

pairing: hufflepuffmuggleborn!reader x draco

summary: when y/n y/l/n starts having weird, recurring dreams about her long time unrequited crush in her 6th year, she begins to wonder where fantasies end and reality begins. 

(based on a request from anon asking for a fic about a hufflepuff reader, who had been average in hogwarts before she had a big glow up. i took many, many creative liberties with the plot, as you can clearly see in the summary).

warnings: mentions of sex, implied sex, violence, mild gore, explicit language, mentions of drug use (if u squint ig)

a/n: remember when i said i was splitting this into two parts? nvm! this is the whole finale! please heed the warnings on this one!

wc: 12.6k

playlist

The fork Y/N had been holding made a dull clank when it hit her plate. Thankfully—was it?—Draco hadn’t even looked her direction since Pansy had sat next to him, 

Her mouth felt fuzzy, but she picked up her fork, speared a potato, and began to eat. 

The first night was the worst. Y/N broke down in her dorm bed as Susan hugged her fiercely and promised her that it would get better.

“I feel so fucking stupid,” she gasped, swiping the tears away with the heels of her palms. “I knew it was hopeless. I knew this would happen.”

“It’s okay,” soothed Susan, smoothing her hair away from her face. “It’s okay to be upset. Love makes us all fools.”

“I never loved him,” said Y/N sourly, her voice cracking. 

Susan shrugged. “It’s just a saying. But it doesn’t matter whether you loved him or not. What matters is that you cared for him and he didn’t treat you the way you deserved. It was inevitable that he was going to see other people, sure, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be hurt. It’s good that you feel hurt. It means that you have it in you to care for someone blindly.”

“For the last time!” added Y/N. She blew her nose loudly. 

“Hopefully not,” said Susan, her eyes crinkling in amusement. “That’s what romance is—that’s what makes it so fun. It would be boring if you knew everyone you dated was perfect. Then you wouldn’t know the right person when he comes.”

“I think we both need therapy, Susan.” Y/N’s sobs had since settled. Now she just wanted to sleep. “That sounds a bit masochistic.”

“We can discuss mental health professionals after you get some rest,” Susan decided, grabbing Y/N’s comforter and pushing her into her nest of pillows. “The first night is always the worst. I know it feels like the end of the world now, but the sun will shine tomorrow. You’ll see.”

And so it did. The sun rose, set, and gently stroked her cheeks as she walked between classes. She went to dueling practice, hung out with her friends, and studied in the library. January swallowed her and spat her out in the middle of February before she knew it.

On the 13th of the month, Y/N sat at the Ravenclaw table for lunch with Terry, as she so often did now when Susan went into Hogsmeade with Theo for the day.

“Any plans for Valentine’s Day?” asked Terry..

“No, none!” she chirped. “What about you?”

Terry grimaced. “Well, after what happened with Cho…not much.”

“I’m sorry,” said Y/N sympathetically. Terry and Cho had been together since November. Terry had really liked her, too, but Cho had broken things off after they had returned from break, saying that she still had things to work through and couldn’t handle another relationship. She supposed she understood. She couldn’t even imagine the heartbreak of seeing a partner pass away. “Is there something you’d like to do?”

“Platonic Valentine’s date?” asked Terry, wiggling his fingers at her. “I’ll buy you sugar quills and let you beat me at Exploding Snap.”

“Only if we play Exploding Snap at Madame Puddifoot’s.”

“They’re going to kick us out if we do that.”

“That’s part of the fun!” Y/N was already grinning ear to ear. “I’m in.”

24 hours later, they were staring at each other across the tiny table. Madame Puddifoot herself had set out plates of fine china cups, filled to the brim with steaming pink and gold tea that smelled of roses. Terry and Y/N had taken one look at them and shoved them aside.

“You deal,” said Y/N, tossing her deck to him. He caught it before it managed to sail over his shoulder and hit Susan and Theo, sitting in the booth behind them.

“You guys,” Susan groaned, peering over her date’s shoulder. “Please don’t. This is a public establishment.”

The cards crackled as Terry split the deck, shuffling them once in an elegant swoosh. “Bavarian version?”

“Only if you think you can handle it.” Y/N smirked, watching as he quickly arranged the deck into a circular formation. 

“First to get 7 pairs wins,” said Terry. “And if we tie, the winner is the one covered in the least soot.”

“Why not 11 pairs?”

“Because Puddifoot is looking at us weird.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just start!”

Just like that, they were off. Y/N had gotten 3 pairs in quick succession, only blowing up one card—the Manticore card.

“Bloody hell, Y/N,” Terry mumbled as they scrambled to turn the cards over and collect pairs before the entire desk combusted. “3 already?”

“You have 5,” said Y/N through gritted teeth, not even bothering to look at him as her nails scraped against the table. She flipped over another card—a Manticore.

“Fuck,” she mumbled. She’d exploded the last one. Now that it was destroyed, there was no way this one wasn’t going to blow too. She abandoned it in search of other pairs.

“Excuse me,” said a very stern, angry voice.

Y/N looked up, but not before the Manticore card went up in flames with a violent crack. 

“This is highly inappropriate behavior,” said Madame Puddifoot, scowling down at them through her spectacles. “If you’ve not already noticed, today is a very special day to those of us enjoying the fruits of love and passion. No tomfoolery such as this is allowed. Out! Both of you!”

“You don’t understand,” simpered Y/N, blinking up through her lashes. In a last minute decision, she darted forward, taking Terry’s hand in hers. “This is our 1 month anniversary, He asked me out with Exploding Snap. It's very sentimental to us, you see. But I suppose if we aren’t welcome here we can leave.” She coaxed her lips into a pout. “Maybe the Three Broomsticks will be okay with us celebrating. We were just so excited to finally come here as a couple.”

Madame Puddifoot’s face contorted as she thought, her long nose wrinkling. Finally, she stepped back and nodded once. “Well, alright. I’ve forgotten the beauty of young love. It turns anything into an occasion. You’ll have to forgive me.”

“I understand,” said Y/N, sniffling for good measure. “Thank you, thank you!”

Susan caught her gaze. Her jaw was dropped. Once Y/N was sure Madame Puddifoot had walked far enough away that she wouldn’t notice, she sent her best friend a wink and let go of Terry’s hand.

“That was horrifying,” said Terry gravely. “Don’t ever fake cry again. It’s so…Slytherin of you.”

“And it kept us from getting kicked out, didn’t it? Also, I win.” 

True to her word, they had both made 6 pairs, though Terry’s pale blue shirt was smudged with ash. 

“Only because I let you.”

“Uh huh.”

Susan was still trying to catch her eye. Y/N frowned, mouthing a “what?” in her direction. In response, her roommate lifted her chin, looking pointedly at the space behind Y/N.

Slowly, Y/N eased around in her seat so she could peek over her shoulder. When her eyes met Draco’s, she whipped back around.

“Another round?” she squeaked at Terry, shoving her pairs in his direction. Draco was there with Pansy—surprise—but had been glaring at Y/N intensely.

“I dunno,” said Terry. “I feel like we’ve pushed our luck enough. Want to head back?”

“Sure,” said Y/N, secretly relieved to be given an out. Now that she knew that Draco could see and hear everything she did, she felt stiff and uncomfortable under the weight of his eyes. “Rematch in the common room?”

~

Y/N didn’t see Draco much outside of class anymore. Not like she had ever seen him much to begin with—but the occasional tapestry and side corridor episodes they’d shared over the last month of fall term constituted as extracurricular events to her. But now that he was apparently Pansy’s very committed and loving boyfriend, he was nowhere to be seen when he wasn’t sitting across the room in Potions.

It was stupid, but she missed him sometimes. If anything, she missed getting to bitch at someone who had next to zero moral compass when it came to talking shit. In her dreams, when they weren’t shagging and she wasn’t waxing romantic, they would gossip. It wasn’t as though Y/N was particularly nasty, but Hufflepuff house was just too clean cut sometimes. It was nice to really complain about the way that Harry Potter and his friends consistently disrupted the school year to someone who had no interest in pretending to be morally spotless. 

She also missed getting to kiss him and lay in his arms, too, but it would’ve been easier to forget all about him if it had been purely physical attraction like it’d started as. Now she actually knew him, and even worse, she liked what she knew about him. Disregarding the whole Death Eater thing—of course—but beggars can’t be choosers, and Y/N would’ve been ready to get on her knees and grovel if it meant going back in time and enjoying it all one last time. 

And now Pansy got to enjoy every good thing that Y/N had seen during their time together. And Pansy had gotten to do it in this dimension! Life wasn’t fair. 

The Monday after Valentine’s Day was strange. Y/N made a conscious effort to not look at Draco, but it was hard when he was so obviously staring at her from his seat on the other side of the room. When she finally dared to meet his eyes, he wrenched his own gaze away, staring at the table instead. 

Once class ended, she thought about catching up with him to ask him what his deal was, but he was gone before she even finished packing her satchel. It was unnerving, really, the way he’d been looking at her.

Her mind was still preoccupied when Professor Trelawney addressed the class.

“Good morning, students,” she greeted, looking rather solemn. “I come with some…rather disappointing news. I trust each and every one of you, which is why it saddens me that one of you saw fit to break into the classroom last weekend and steal equipment.”

Y/N shared a wide-eyed glance with Terry, raising her eyebrows and pursing her lips dramatically. 

“If you are in possession of an illegally required crystal ball,” said Trelawney, looking nearly close to tears, “Please return it as soon as possible. Many bad, bad things can happen if you use these special tools without proper supervision! Children, please heed my warning. The pupil who stole this will face great struggle should they choose to not come forward.”

Terry wiggled his brows back at her, but Y/N was feeling a little suspicious. Crystal ball? Wait a damn minute…

By the time dueling practice rolled around, she had largely forgotten about the whole ordeal. Y/N had been paired up with McLaggen, easily the most ruthless dueler on their team, and he was giving her enough to think about as she scrambled to defend herself in the dueling circle.

The classroom they practiced in was large, airy, and school gymnasium-like. The dueling circle was lined with mats and warded at the border to ensure that rogue spells didn’t attack the audience. Whenever Y/N hit the faded red mats (which happened a lot when she was up against McLaggen), she found that they smelled like salt and chalk.

Her wand was almost buzzing in her hand as she stalked along the perimeter of the circle, waiting for her opponent to retaliate. She’d somehow managed to get him good with a well aimed Jelly Legs jinx, but now that he’d recovered before she managed to disarm him, he was clearly miffed and ready for revenge.

“Watch your feet, Y/L/N,” called Professor Flitwick from the sidelines. Surprisingly, the Ravenclaw house Head was a marvelous and enthusiastic dueling coach. She accredited much of her improvement to his teaching. “He’s going to go for your feet unless you can extend your shield to the ground.”

Y/N frowned, deeply concentrating on the shield she had just raised with her wand. Sure enough, the pale blue shimmering air paused at her ankles. If he managed to make the mark, McLaggen would have no problem bringing her to the ground and disarming her. 

If she recast it now, he would no doubt take the opportunity to strike her, but taking the time to wait for the right moment meant leaving her feet undefended. Though it would be tough to strike her under her shield, McLaggen was renowned for his perfect aim. She was on borrowed time. 

So that settled it, then. She would make the first attack. 

The room was completely silent now except for the slow thump of her steps and the rhythm of her exhales. McLaggen’s large, looming frame rotated in time with her movements, keeping his wand raised at the ready. 

He wouldn’t expect her to be on the offense. It was unusual for the weaker, younger dueler to forgo a shield in order to lay on another hex in standoffs. This could work to her advantage, she realized. McLaggen would be ready to attack her when she removed the shield spell. But that would mean his own guard would be down. If she could non-verbally cast an attack…

Y/N walked another quarter of the circle, feeling magic gather at her wand hand, thrumming under her fingertips. McLaggen was smirking as he cracked his neck, rolling his shoulders. 

Flipendo, Flipendo, Flipendo. Y/N shouted the words in her head, building up the strength to silently send it his way. One, two….three…

A crackling green ball burst from the tip of her wand at the moment she ended the shield spell and thrust her hand forward. McLaggen hadn’t even opened his mouth to speak the incantations of his hex before he was launched high in the air, crashing into the mats outside of the dueling lines.

“Absolutely marvelous use of non-verbal spellwork,” said Flitwick approvingly, giving her a very firm nod. “Spectacular. Well done.”

“Yeah, Y/N,” said Justin, creeping forward from the crowd of onlookers. “That was incredible. You just wiped the floor with him.”

Y/N grinned back at him before striding over to McLaggen and offering her hand. “I can’t believe I finally managed to best you.”

“Just barely.” He groaned as he rolled onto his back and let her help pull him to his feet. “Next time I’ll get you back.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

~

The floor was springy under her feet as she slowly stalked the outer rim of the dueling circle, her wand clutched tightly in her fingers. It was darker than the usual lighting they used for dueling practice, and Y/N had no clue how she’d ended up back in the circle.

That is, until she saw the bright blond head of hair at the opposite end. Then it all made sense.

“Hi,” Draco said. He wasn’t walking like she was. Instead, he was standing with his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked awkward.

“So it was you,” said Y/N, finally stopping her steps. “You stole the crystal ball from Trelawney.”

“She’s already noticed?”

“Unfortunately.” She rolled her wand between her fingers, letting the ridges of the handle pull across the pads of her fingertips. “Why’d you steal it? Is it for your task?”

It was a cruel reminder. He paled and shifted his weight. “No, actually.”

“Oh,” said Y/N. For one glorious moment, she forgot all about Pansy, entertaining the idea that Draco broke the crystal ball to confess his love and devotion for her. But then she remembered the way she had seen him bend down and kiss her forehead from across the Great Hall that morning, and reality settled into her stomach like a cold medicine ball. “Was this—” She motioned to the air between them “—an accident?”

“No,” Draco said, swallowing hard. 

Anger rose in her chest when he didn’t elaborate. He had left her in December thinking that he was going to die. He had left her letting her believe he cared for her. And then he came back, dating Pansy Parkinson out of every other person available. 

“I’m glad you’re alright,” she said, stiffly. 

“Thank you.”

Y/N twirled her wand around her fingers once, twice, watching as the cherry red of the wood flashed around her nails. 

“Dueling club, huh?” prompted Draco. It was stupid, really, how he was trying to make casual conversation after everything that had happened. After everything he’d done.

“Why are you here?” she asked finally, scowling.

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? That’s it?” 

She stared at him, her mouth momentarily agape. “Yes, of course that’s it. If you’ll recall, you snogged me in a dark corridor, made me spend the entire break thinking that you were either dead or dying, and then proceeded to enter a very public relationship with the only person with which I’ve ever had a physical altercation. Do you seriously expect me to just forgive you like that?”

“Says the person who started dating the only person I specifically asked you not to go out with!” said Draco. He remained standing still, but his fingers were drumming along the length of his wand.

“Terry?!” 

“Don’t play dumb,” he snapped. “I was there at Puddifoot’s, you know. I saw you two together. And you always sit together at lunch.”

She supposed she could tell him that she wasn't actually dating him, but she was furious, and his jaw seemed to clench the more he thought about her and Terry. “That doesn’t change anything. Like I said, I don’t do everything just become you tell me to.”

Suddenly it hit her.

“I know why you’re here now,” she said, sounding smaller. His silver eyes snapped up from his hands to meet hers, his brow raised. “You think that because I’m rolling back on my word with Terry, I’m going to stop protecting your secret, too.”

“Well, that’s—”

“How many times do I need to tell you, Malfoy?” Her voice was sharp, her consonants punctuated. It echoed. “Give me a fucking break. I’m not stupid. I know that some promises are more important than others. I’ve told you, time and time again, that I will. Not. Tell. So stop bugging me and—” She paused to look down at her body, seeing that she was once again in her Slytherin party dress, sans tights. “—and stop fucking fantasizing about me without my tights! That’s lewd and disgusting. Imagine how your girlfriend would feel knowing that thoughts like those are rattling around up there in that vacant brain of yours. Honestly! You’re depraved.” 

Draco’s eyebrows were nearly touching his hairline, his jaw slack before he regained his composure. “You’re really going to start calling me Malfoy now? After everything?”

“Yes,” spat Y/N. “Now get out of my dream. Finite Incantatem!”

A flash of blue light sprung from her wand, puncturing Draco’s middle. Then he was gone, and Y/N was all alone in the abandoned dueling room. 

The next morning, the news of Katie Bell’s return broke in the Great Hall. Y/N and Susan had left late due to Y/N being in a particularly rotten mood. Susan, to her credit, had stayed behind and listened to Y/N rant about how Draco had been the one to steal the crystal ball Trelawney had lectured their class about. Naturally, Y/N had twisted the details, omitting the bits where Draco was technically an enemy of the state. Her roommate shared her malaise nonetheless.

“I can’t believe him,” she had said, shaking her head. “What a twat. I’m glad you stood up for yourself. That must’ve been hard.”

One short, embarrassing sob session in their bathroom later, Y/N was fresh faced and ready to walk down to the Great Hall. The entire student body was buzzing as they pushed open the heavy doors.

“What’s going on?” asked Y/N as they settled down next to Hannah.

“I was wondering where you guys were,” replied Hannah. Her spoon clinked against her mug of steaming coffee as she stirred in swirls of cream. “You missed it. Remember Katie Bell, that 7th year Gryffindor who had been cursed?”

Susan and Y/N nodded.

“She’s back,” Justin cut in, for once looking excited. “She’s alright.”

“That’s great!” For the first time that day, her lips turned into a genuine smile. Katie Bell had been at the first Dueling Club practice she had attended and had been an angel, helping her walk through the motions and shake off the nervousness of being one of the only female students there. “Is she coming back to team practices, then?”

“She’s missing the tournament this weekend,” Justin said. “But I think she’s coming tomorrow night.”

Y/N bobbed her head, her newly discovered excitement wavering in the face of the upcoming weekend. Beauxbatons was hosting the annual Pygmy Invitational Dueling Tournament, and Y/N was finally competing. There were no divisions—she was just as likely to be against someone as renowned as Hristo Krum, Viktor Krum’s younger brother as she was a weaker, more novice dueler. She’d managed to put off thinking about it, planning on not letting it sink in until she was actually there—or, preferably, never—but she was already failing.

“Hey,” said Justin, reaching out to touch her elbow in a brief, perhaps not entirely platonic gesture. “You’ll do great.”

“Are you coming?” she found herself asking. Even though Justin had a knack for getting on her nerves on occasion, he was growing on her. 

Justin flushed, setting his gaze on his plate. The precision in which he was slicing up the breakfast potatoes impressed her. “If you’d like me to. Do you think they’d let me?”

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t.” The only struggle would be finding a way to transport another student to France, but considering how wealthy the Finch-Fletch’s were, he could probably come across a Portkey some way or another.

Y/N finished up the rest of her breakfast, engaging in light conversation with her friends. Out of habit, she cast her gaze over to the Slytherin table, searching for a head of startlingly light hair amongst the sea of forest green. Draco wasn’t there. She berated herself for looking in the first place. What did it matter if he was there? 

Her muted curiosity morphed into full-fledged concern when, by Thursday morning, she had yet to see Draco at all. He no longer showed up during meals, leaving Pansy to eat alone with a rather harrowed look on her face. He was nowhere to be seen in corridors between classes with his Slytherin friends, which she supposed made sense as he hadn’t shown up for class since Monday. And, of course, since she hadn’t seen him in person, he never appeared in her dreams.

When Y/N brought it up to Susan on her way to Divination, her friend had no idea.

“Theo hasn’t said anything to me,” she admitted. The heels of her loafers made satisfying clicks on the cobblestone as they walked. “We don’t really talk much about Draco when I see him, though. I can ask?”

“No, no, that’s okay,” said Y/N hurriedly. “No need. I’m still mad at him, anyway. I shouldn’t even be talking about him.”

“Smart! I’ve always heard that pretending that someone is actually dead is a good way to get over them.”

“Haha. Maybe I’ll try that.” She said this in a deceptively casual tone, and her blood ran cold. What if something truly awful had happened to him? Even if he was a right arse, he didn’t deserve to die. 

Nausea built in her throat as she sat through the day’s Divination lecture. All she wanted was for her free period to begin so she could curl up in her dorm bed and nap. She’d barely slept since she’d dreamt of Draco on Monday. 

She was just on the way towards the common room when Madame Pomfrey appeared around the corner, walking towards her with a purpose. Y/N was suddenly queasy. Could Madame Pomfrey tell if she was having her dreams again? Would she accuse her of stealing from Trelawney?

“Miss Y/L/N,” she said, her heavy footsteps coming to a halt in front of her. “You need to come with me.”

Her tone betrayed nothing. She spoke with her usual no-nonsense voice, but she at least didn’t look angry—just stoney faced. 

“Er—well—alright then,” Y/N stammered. So much for her napping plans. She followed the healer down the corridor, up the stairs, and through the wide doors of the hospital wing. This was it. She was going to be blamed for Draco’s theft, and she was going to get expelled. Well, maybe not that. Trelawney would just look at her in class with a deeply hurt expression, like she had personally betrayed her professor. And, although Y/N was never particularly attuned to Divination, the sadness she’d see in one of her mentors’ eyes would be almost worse.

The hospital wing was remarkably quiet. Their footsteps echoed as they walked past the white beds, all empty except for one at the end, the furthest from the door. That one was obscured entirely from view by crisp white curtains, sparking a morbid interest in Y/N. Unless someone was seriously injured or were changing, curtains were rarely used. 

To her surprise, Madame Pomfrey didn’t lead her through the beaded entrance at the end to her office for a serious talking-to. Instead, she motioned towards the curtains. 

“You have a visitor,” said the healer, ignoring Y/N entirely and poking her head through the curtain. 

She was too far away to hear whatever the patient whispered back.

“It’s the girl you’ve been moaning about,” added Madame Pomfrey, rather snippily for someone who was treating patients. She turned to face Y/N. “Come along, you. Your free period doesn’t last all day.” A scraping sound emanated from the metal rods as she parted the curtains.

The first thing that hit her was the smell of Dittany—a strong musky, herbal scent with notes of mint. Y/N had smelled it the first time when she’d sliced her finger in Potions class in second year, and she’d never forgotten the way the viscous brown substance looked as it trickled into her cut. 

Madame Pomfrey stepped aside from the gap she’d created in the curtains, ushering her inside. “I’ll let you know when you need to leave.”

Y/N crept forward, passing the threshold of the curtains. She gasped when she saw who was inside. “Malfoy?”

He looked awful, even worse than when she saw him that night in December. He was so gray that he resembled a corpse. The crisp white hospital linens were pulled tight around his otherwise bare chest, where she could see the beginnings of angry red gashes poking out from above the sheets.

“I’ll give you two some privacy,” said Madame Pomfrey before shutting the curtains behind Y/N. 

When she was sure that Pomfrey’s footsteps had faded, Y/N produced her wand and cast a silencing spell around the curtains, unsure what else to do or what to say. Finally, when she met his hooded eyes, she settled on: 

“Are you alright?” That was a stupid question. Thankfully, he ignored it completely. 

“You came.” He was gaping at her vacantly. “I didn’t think…didn’t think you would.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” said Y/N. “Pomfrey didn’t tell me who it was.”

He sighed, then shut his lips, pouting childishly. 

“What happened to you?” she asked. Everything in her wanted to come up and embrace him, brush his hair away from his forehead, and tell him how much she’d missed him and how afraid she was for him, but the thought of acting on these desires made her sick to her stomach. “Who did this to you?”

Draco stared blankly at her before letting his head fall back on the pillow. 

“When did this happen?”

“I miss you.” He said this with his eyes closed, so quietly Y/N thought she had imagined it.

“What?”

“It’s not fair,” he mumbled. “None of this is fair.”

“You’re not making any sense. Why did you call me here? Where’s Pansy?” She gingerly sat down on the chair beside his bed, which produced a little creak as she transferred her weight onto the seat. At the sound, his eyes cracked open and he twisted, wincing as he reached out. After some waving about, his fingers found her hand.

She stiffened. Worry welled up in her throat. His hand was blazing hot, warm from sleep. 

“Don’t go,” he whispered as she attempted to wrench herself from his grip. “Please don’t go.”

“You’re not well,” she said, pointing out the obvious. Draco hardly seemed to hear or register anything that she had said to him. Realization hit her when she saw the empty potion bottles on the nightstand. Madame Pomfrey must’ve dosed him with a cocktail of pain potions, leaving him with barely half his mind. She was speaking to the most incoherent version of Draco she’d ever seen.

He probably wouldn’t remember any of this, she bitterly thought to herself. She would have to be the one who carried the burden of this interaction. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for what I’ve done.”

“It’s okay.” It definitely wasn’t, but Y/N wasn’t about to say so to an invalid clearly on the verge of an emotional breakdown. 

“I’m not allowed to love you,” he said, almost ruefully. 

“I’m aware,” Y/N snapped.

“I miss you,” he said again, his fingers tightening around hers. “I wish you still called me Draco.”

Y/N didn’t even dignify this with a response. This wasn’t even a conversation—he was so high on whatever Madame Pomfrey had given him that he probably didn’t even realize that she was actually there. 

“I hate Terry Boot,” he mumbled. “It’s not fair.”

Y/N blinked. What had Terry ever done to him? 

“You have to stay,” he said. Y/N cocked her head. 

“I’m here,” she said gently, though she knew it was futile. He wouldn’t understand, even if he did hear her. 

“Don’t leave me. Please.” He was begging now, which confused Y/N. She hadn’t so much as shifted since she tried to pull her hands from his in the beginning. Nothing in her body language hinted at her leaving. He must’ve been so far gone that he was hallucinating her getting up and letting go. 

“I’m right here,” she repeated. Tentatively, and mostly because she knew he wouldn’t remember, she leaned forward and touched her palm gently to his cheek. He pressed into the contact like a housecat, his eyes fluttering shut.

“I don’t deserve you,” he croaked. “But I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Y/N’s frown deepened. “What do you mean?”

“I love you,” he breathed. “I’m yours.”

Her heart dropped. She pulled her hand away from his face, feeling for a moment as if she was going to puke right then and there.

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she whispered, feeling hot tears prick at the backs of her eyes. “I’ll ask Pomfrey to get Pansy.” Because if he was going to confess his love to anyone, it was going to be Pansy Parkinson, heiress to the Parkinson fortune and by all accounts a perfect Slytherin Pureblooded Princess. It wasn’t going to be Y/N. 

He made a small sound of protest as she stood up and wrenched her fingers from his grip. Her heart ached as she looked down at him, taking in his newfound feebleness and delirium. 

“Don’t,” he rasped. “Please—don’t go—”

Y/N waved her wand, breaking the silencing charm before stepping through the curtains without another word. 

“Back so soon?” asked Madame Pomfrey. She was on the other side of the room, tediously logging the potion inventory into a sheet of parchment.

“I think there’s been a mistake,” Y/N said. “He thinks I’m someone else—his girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson. He’s very discombobulated.” 

Madame Pomfrey frowned. “Girlfriend? The Slytherin girl with black hair?”

“That’s Pansy.”

“She was just in,” she said. “She dropped off notes. He asked for you by name.”

“He has no idea what he’s saying,” said Y/N stubbornly. “He didn’t understand anything I said to him. He didn’t mean to ask for me, I’m sure of it.’

She bid her goodbyes to Madame Pomfrey before heading to her next class.

~

Her sheets felt stiffer than usual. And warmer, very warm, like she wasn’t alone. 

Y/N jerked awake to find herself in the hospital bed with a very awake, very lucid Draco staring at her. The tiny bed left barely any space between the two of them, and she’d found that part of her body was draped over his.

“Fuck,” she hissed, frantically pulling the blankets off of her and scrambling out of bed.

“How are you here?” asked Draco. His voice was prim, crisp, and posh—a return to normalcy. “I haven’t seen you in days. I thought we only dreamt of each other when I saw you.”

Y/N sighed. “I did see you today. Pomfrey got confused. She brought me to you instead of Pansy.”

“Oh,” said Draco. He was significantly paler. “I don’t remember.”

“I’m not surprised,” she responded. “You were absolutely delirious. Completely nonsensical.”

“What kinds of things did I say?”

Y/N shrugged. “Nothing important.” Because it really wasn’t, not in the grand scheme of things. Because he didn’t mean anything that he’d said.

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows.

“I think you thought I was Pansy,” said Y/N. “So you said some weird things.”

“Like what?”

“Things,” she hissed through her teeth.

“What kind of things?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Y/N rubbed the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb. “What happened to you? Why are you in the hospital wing?”

“Potter cursed me,” said Draco. “He used some backyard homemade curse that almost killed me.”

Y/N gasped. “What? Why?”

“He suspected that I was behind Katie Bell’s affliction,” he said simply.

“On Tuesday?” Y/N knew that if she thought about it for long enough, she’d feel nauseous at the thought of what he’d had to endure. But now she was numb, instead focused on the hurt that he’d caused her over the past month. 

He nodded.

“You need to ask Pomfrey for the antidote to this whole dreaming business,” Y/N informed him. “I’m not going to ask. She’s going to think I was the one who stole the crystal ball, and you’re under her care, anyway. It’ll be more convenient if you ask.”

“I can’t ask her either!” he said. “If I do, she’ll know it was me. I can’t have a target on my back. Not now.”

“Well then.” Y/N scowled as she whipped out her wand and transfigured her chair until it was a large, cozy armchair. Then she tucked her legs under herself and rested her head on the arm.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to sleep,” said Y/N. 

“There’s a perfectly fine bed right here. No need for the showy Transfiguration.”

“It’s not perfectly fine when you’re in it,” she retorted. 

He rolled his eyes and held open the sheets. “Come here. Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll get out if you want.”

“No.”

“You’re so stubborn,” he said. There was no venom in his tone. 

She ignored his comment, lost in her own train of thought. For some reason, what she’d told him about Terry emerged in her ponderings. She was angry at him, yes, but there was no reason to try and keep up the lie. Letting him believe that she was dating Terry would eventually catch up to her, she was sure of it. It would be more embarrassing if he discovered the truth from someone else.

Once she’d found her resolve in confessing, she cleared her throat. “I, ehm, I need to clear my conscience while we’re both here. I need to tell you something. I haven’t been entirely honest with you.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not dating Terry,” she said. His eyebrows shoot up. “I just let you think I was because you were getting on my nerves and it seemed like it upset you.”

His silver eyes glittered in the moonlight as he laughed, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you’re a Hufflepuff sometimes.”

She sent him a weak smile in return, though she didn’t really feel it reach her eyes. It felt good  to get her secret off her chest—he surely would’ve found out from someone else eventually—but she’d lost her last bargaining chip. Nothing else about her seemed to elicit any indication that he cared.

“Don’t feel too guilty,” he continued. “We’re even.”

“How so?” she asked, inspecting her fingernails instead of meeting his eyes.

“I’m not dating Pansy.” 

Her head snapped up, her gaze meeting his. There was no trace of insincerity in his face. “What?”

“Pansy and I aren’t really together,” said Draco. “I was going to tell you earlier. I just never had the chance.”

Anger and relief simultaneously rushed through her. Anger, because what did he mean he didn’t have any time? They’d been at school for over 2 months after the fact. Relief, because…well, she didn’t need to explain that.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” admonished Y/N. 

“I couldn’t,” he answered.

“You are right now. I don’t understand.”

“The Dark Lord—I mean, Voldemort—went through my thoughts over the break,” said Draco, looking rather solemn. “He saw the memory of us in the corridor from when I came to say goodbye. It was dark enough that he didn’t see who you were, so I told him you were Pansy.”

“But we’ve been together so many other times. How did he not see those?”

“Legilimency only works on memories created in our usual reality,” he explained. “He can’t see my dreams. So I couldn’t tell you because I couldn’t figure out how to break into Trelawney’s classroom until last weekend. And I also didn’t want to try in my real corporeal form, anyway.”

“Why not?”

He looked sheepish. “You’re scary when you’re angry.”

“I'm the scary one?” 

“I thought you were going to hex me in the last dream,” he said. “I’ve heard how good you are at dueling. I’d prefer to not be on the receiving end of that.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but her heart was pounding from all that he’d just dumped on her.”Does Pansy know?”

“‘Course,” he said, frowning. 

“And she’s okay with you pretending to be her boyfriend so you can cover your tracks after fucking around with a mudblood?” The words tasted acrid in her mouth. 

“I didn’t give her your name,” he said, looking even more uncomfortable.

“She’s in love with you, you know.”

Draco sighed, a sharp breath leaving his nose. “I know. That’s why I didn’t tell her it was you. She’d be ruthless.”

“So what does she know?”

“That I’m involved with someone that I’m not supposed to be with,” he said simply.

Her middle began to feel weightless with hope, hope that she unsuccessfully attempted to tamp down. “That you are involved with? Present tense?”

He shrugged. “That was the plan, yeah. Before Boot, of course.”

“Is it still?” She hated the way she sounded so expectant, so optimistic. 

“Would you like that?” asked Draco. His long, dark lashes nearly touched his cheekbones as he looked down, focusing on the hospital sheets instead of Y/N.

“You’d only ever see me in our dreams,” she pointed out. 

“That’s okay. It’s better than not seeing you at all.”

She wanted to say yes. She wanted to agree wholeheartedly, to jump in the hospital bed with him and bury her face in his neck. But what stopped her was the fear. He’d gotten her hopes up so many times before, and dealing with the aftermath had been nearly catastrophic for Y/N. 

As if he could read her thoughts, Draco shifted and met her eyes. “It’s okay if the answer is no. I know that asking you to trust me again is…a lot.”

“I’m just not really sure what I should do,” she admitted. “I’m afraid of getting hurt again.” But who was she kidding? Draco Malfoy, her school crush of over 2 years now, was handing himself over to her on a silver platter. She’d let her filet her with a plastic takeaway knife if it meant getting to shag him again. She considered indicating that she’d come to her senses, but the way he was looking at her with such sorrowful and empathetic eyes made her decide to hold her tongue for a bit longer. She did deserve a good apology, after all, not one from when his brain was addled with pain potions.

“I know,” he said gently. “I wish I could find a way to atone for the things I’ve done. Words can’t describe how much I regret how much I’ve hurt you. I’ll do anything if it results in your forgiveness.”

The pretty words he offered were empty. There were of course things that he wouldn’t do, lines that he wouldn’t cross if it resulted in harm to his family. But they were good enough, she supposed. She couldn’t fault him for loving his mother.

“Okay,” she said. “I forgive you. But if you ever do anything like this to me without warning again, I’m breaking a thousand crystal balls and haunting you for the rest of your life.”

He was grinning by the time she finished her threat. 

“You’re supposed to act at least a little scared,” she told him, sounding much more wounded than she actually was. “I was just very intimidating there.”

“Oh, yes, very scary,” he said gravely. “Terrifying. Appalling. I’m trembling. Will you get back in bed with me now?”

The spot where she had appeared was still warm as she settled down next to him, letting him pull her into his side once again. They didn’t talk. Y/N just laid as she thought, feeling his fingers stroke through her hair.

“What did you mean by ‘involved’?” she asked, finally. The question had been nagging her for however long she’d been lying there. “What does this mean to you?”

His fingers threaded into the hair behind the nape of her neck, stilling. “Is this a ‘what are we’ question?”

“I guess,” she said. When he phrased it like that, it made her feel a little ridiculous. She knew what they were—a distraction for him, a fun side quest to keep him from thinking about his real responsibilities. When they graduated, he’d be a good little boy and get engaged to someone like Pansy or Daphne. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I assume nothing’s changed since last fall.”

A sick, heavy sense of dread filled her stomach. Now that she’d thought about it, she really didn’t want him to answer. It was easier for her to read into things, to pretend like there was meaning where there wasn’t if he didn’t explicitly tell her otherwise. That’s how she’d handled it the first go around. The tender way he touched her near the end enabled her fantasies of him returning her feelings. Could she do it all over again if he told her what she feared most?

She wasn’t sure. And he’d been quiet for a long time, too, which was stressing her out more.

“Please don’t answer if you don’t want to. I won’t make it into anything it isn’t,” she lied. She totally would, but what she thought in the private recesses of her mind was her business and her business only.

“Hey.” His voice was gentle but firm as he used his hold on the back of her hair to softly tilt her face up to meet his gaze. “I’m really sorry I’ve made you feel like that. I know I’ve been a bit of an arse to you, especially at first. It’s not a real excuse, but in my defense I didn’t think you were a real person for a while.”

She snorted. Where was he going with this?

“If things were ordinary,” he continued, “I’d be a much better boyfriend—actually take you out on dates and study together and all that normal stuff. But—are you alright?”

He’d paused because Y/N had stopped breathing.

“What?” she said after she finally checked back into her body and inhaled through her nose. “You’d want that with me?”

“Of course,” he replied, his voice soft. “But things aren’t ordinary. I can’t give you those things, at least not now. It’s too dangerous for both of us.”

“Oh. Yeah, I understand.” Her momentary high had dropped considerably.

“That isn’t to say that I don’t want anything real with you,” Draco said hastily. His fingers moved out of her hair, his palms coming to her jaw so his thumbs could run across the lengths of her cheekbones. He was still wearing his signet ring, and the coolness of the silver against her hot skin was startling. “I do. I care for you—more than what’s good for the both of us. That’s why I stole the crystal ball. I couldn’t stay away any longer, and that was terribly selfish of me. I know that seeing me like this doesn’t even hold a candle to what you deserve, but it’s all I can offer right now.”

“And is what you’re offering the same as you did last fall?” she prodded. Hope treacherously made its way back into her chest cavity.

“No.”

“So are you proposing that you be my boyfriend, but only in this realm?”

He rolled his eyes, but a smile danced across his lips. “I was thinking more along the lines of your actual boyfriend. With the caveat that we meet up at night in another dimension instead of, say, Saturday afternoons at Hogsmeade. What do you think about that?”

“I think I can manage,” she said mildly, trying her hardest to seem cool and collected.

“I can feel your heart racing,” he said smugly. The hand that was stroking her neck pressed into her pulse point in a light demonstration.

“Oh, stop it.” She flushed, frowning. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not,” said Draco. “I think it’s cute how much this affects you.”

As if to prove his point, he bent down until his face was almost level with hers before lightly kissing the tip of her nose, then the tops of her cheeks. She was grinning stupidly by the time he was done. 

Shyly, she pushed her weight into her toes and shifted forward. Her nose nudged against his cheek as she tilted her head up. When her lips finally pressed into his, his fingers curled around her waist, pulling her further into his chest.

It struck her then, really struck her, that she wasn’t just kissing Draco Malfoy—she was kissing her boyfriend. Her boyfriend, Draco Malfoy. He was hers. 

The thought made her entirely giddy as she rested her hands on his chest, letting her thumb run across his skin. His skin was so warm to the touch. She was overwhelmed by the need to be even closer to him than she already was, to somehow intertwine themselves until there was no telling where one ended and the other began. 

For the first time in months, Y/N awoke feeling completely at peace.

~

Draco sat next to her in Potions on Friday. As Slughorn lectured, droning on about the properties of Valerian root, Draco’s knee nudged against hers. They managed to look entirely serious and no nonsense when they spoke to each other and jointly brewed a Draught of Peace, but under the table, his fingers would briefly rest on her thigh or tangle with hers. 

Y/N thought she was going to absolutely combust with happiness by the time she joined Justin and the rest of the Dueling Club in the meeting room to travel to France. She wasn’t afraid anymore. Now that she was riding the euphoric emotional waves of her renewed relationship with Draco, she felt like she could take on the world.

“I have a tournament tomorrow,” she told him that night after she’d fallen asleep in the French hotel room. She’d awoken to find herself next to Draco in his own dorm bed.

“Where?” he asked, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. He was hovering over her, letting his forearms support his weight from their place besides her head.

“France,” she told him. “I’m there right now, actually. I took a Portkey a few hours before dinner.”

“That’s exciting.” Draco smiled encouragingly down at her. “I’m sure you’re going to wipe the floor with everyone.”

She frowned, deep in thought. “I’m not sure. I’m actually really nervous. I can barely beat McLaggen, and he’s probably like a child compared to the other duelers. Durmstrang is sending their best.”

“That sounds intimidating,” he agreed. “But you have a natural talent for dueling. You’re going to do wonderfully.” To punctuate his last point, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her forehead. 

She smiled, then changed the subject to something Slughorn had said in class. It struck her then how domestic and normal their meetings were becoming. It felt so natural now to tell him about her day and how it made her feel. The newfound emotional vulnerability felt like a warm, fuzzy blanket around Y/N’s entire body, wrapped tight.

The next day was a blur. Every dueler was scheduled to partake in 6 sessions. The first opponent Y/N had was a lithe, elegant Beauxbatons boy with rich chocolate hair and a demeanor that reminded her distantly of Draco. 

Despite Professor Flitwick’s pep talk to her before she’d stepped into the ring, the sudden gravity of it all weighed on her the moment she passed through the protective wards. The Beauxbatons boy, who she was pretty sure was named Clement, was languidly twirling a short, stumpy wand around his fingers and eying her up and down. She had refused to ask how accomplished this dueler was—it’d only serve to make her more nervous—but the way he was smirking at her made her think the feeling was not mutual. If he hadn’t heard that this was her first tournament, he had at least figured out she was a muggleborn 6th year by now. 

“Take your stances!” called out the moderator from outside the circle. She was a wiry looking woman, with carrot red hair and some flavor of Scandinavian accent. Y/N’s knees nearly buckled as she bent them slightly, staggering her legs and readying her wand. “Begin!”

A curse, white hot and scathing, hit her chest before the word had even finished echoing throughout the hall. It struck Y/N head on, making her double over and wheeze as her lungs seized. 

“Stop!” cried the moderator. “Illegal spell. Beauxbatons 35 is disqualified. The win is given to Hogwarts 2.”

Clement scoffed. “Illegal? Zat was a simple burning ‘ex!” He stomped out of the ring with a flourish, meeting a tall blonde woman who patted his shoulder and scowled nastily at Y/N—the Beauxbatons coach, she assumed.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” asked Katie, appearing at her side with worry in her eyes. “That looked like it was nasty. He cast it early. You didn’t even have a chance to block it.”

“I’m alright.” Her voice was shaky and hoarse. “Everything just happened so quickly. At least I technically won, right?”

Katie clapped her on her back. “Good. You’ll get more used to it. I can’t believe he used that curse—no international dueling competitions allow any body alteration spells in the preliminary rounds. I’m sorry. Do you want to stop by the infirmary?”

“No,” said Y/N. If she stopped by the infirmary, she’d have to tell someone how she felt, and if she thought about how she felt for too long, she’d probably vomit from the nerves. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“It must’ve been just a temporary burning curse, then,” explained Katie. “I have to go visit Cormac and watch his round. Good luck on the next if I don’t see you before, yeah?”

The next 5 rounds were even more nerve wracking. Y/N was matched exclusively with Durmstrang wizards. They were impossibly burly, nearly twice her size in both height and bulk. Miraculously, Y/N managed to nudge her second opponent into the barrier charms with a well placed Jelly Legs jinx. The wards glowed a blood red once he breached the perimeter of the circle, and she was declared the winner. She won her third, fourth, and fifth rounds with equal fortune, just barely managing to aim her curses enough to strike them where they least expected it. She even took after McLaggen, sending a Stupefy at the toes of her fifth opponent when his shield wasn’t fully comprehensive. 

“You’re 5 for 5,” said Katie once Y/N returned to the room that the Hogwarts kids had been hanging out in between rounds. “I want to watch your 6th round. Who’s it this time?”

“I have no idea.” Y/N panted as she finished up her water bottle. Though it wasn’t the most physically demanding sport, she was already drenched in sweat and her heart was racing. “I think they’re releasing pairings in 5.”

Katie nodded. “Exciting. You might make it to out-rounds, you know.”

“Out-rounds?”

“You know, the final elimination rounds,” explained Katie. “In a tournament this small, they’ll probably only go as far as quarterfinals. Octofinals are more common at larger meets. It’s really rare to win more than 4 prelims without getting there, so I think it’s totally possible. Especially when even Cormac is down 2.”

Y/N felt nervousness creep into her throat. Was she really the only Hogwarts dueler who hadn’t lost yet?

She did not hold this title for long. Hristo Krum was her last opponent, and he absolutely eviscerated her in a matter of seconds. In his defense, he cast a clean, respectful Flipendo aimed directly at her wand hand that sent her spiraling into the bounds. It was a fair win, and when he shook her hand after the round, he congratulated her.

“It is good to see another young dueler,” he said in his thick Bulgarian accent. “I have heard of your earlier rounds. You are doing well for your first time.”

His kind words were almost enough to make her forget the glares that the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students sent her as it was announced that she would be the only 6th year progressing into the quarterfinals.

“Out-rounds are different,” Katie instructed her as they hurriedly prepared in their prep room. “You won’t get to use shields, and almost all curses but those that are lethal are allowed. They’ll have a healer on site regardless, just in case. We’ve never trained you to do this sort of thing before, so don’t feel bad if you get eliminated.”

She was up against the same Beauxbatons boy from the first round. Anger bubbled up in her as the moderator told them to take their stances. Y/N nonverbally began to build up a full-body binding hex in her fingers. The moment that the words “Begin!” left the lips of the moderator, she cast. He was on the floor in seconds.

“Fucking bitch,” he spat once she’d been declared the winner and released the binding hex. “Mudblood.” He then added some French that Y/N didn’t quite understand, but she assumed that he was using equally colorful words.

Y/N awkwardly tossed her wand back and forth as he was led away, stuck between feeling the raw wound of being reminded of her place in Wizarding society and the euphoria of the fact that she was progressing into semifinals. It was harder to feel offended by someone like Clement when she knew she just simply was better than him, even if he had fancier lineage.

She ended up losing the semifinal round to a Beauxbatons boy that she’d never seen before. He’d sent a slicing hex at her wand hand, and the wound bled so profusely that she dropped her wand, immediately disqualifying her. 

“Don’t look too bummed,” said Katie as she sat next to her, watching the healer on duty slowly patch up the slice. “I have good news.”

Y/N peered up at the brunette. “What news?”

“You qualified for the Bulgarian Duel!” Katie grinned. “They’re taking everyone who made it to quarterfinals. You’re the first 6th year to go in years, and I think the first female 6th year from Hogwarts to go ever.”

Y/N laughed, shakily. “Merlin. I don’t know if I can do another one of these.”

“Isn’t it great, though? The adrenaline? Knowing that you’re on equal ground with everyone, regardless of gender or blood?”

“I suppose,” said Y/N thoughtfully. “I guess you’re right. Maybe that’s why I like it so much.”

“It’ll be in a month or so,” added Katie. “Some duelers spend the entire fall trying to prepare for it. You’re really lucky to have made it after one tournament.”

After the final round wrapped up, Y/N collected her medal for 3rd place and smiled for the cameras next to Hristo Krum and the boy who had beaten her in her last round. A reporter asked for her name, and in a dazzled state, she gave it to him.

“Y/L/N?” said the man, tilting his head and scribbling something thoughtfully down on his scroll. “I’ve never heard that name before. What do your parents do?”

“They’re muggles,” said Y/N boldly, holding her chin up high and daring the reporter to say something snide in responde.

But the nasty comment never came. Instead, the short stumpy man nodded and furrowed his eyebrows as he added a few more notes. “Thank you, miss,” he said. Then he moved onto Hristo and the Beauxbatons boy. 

~

Back at school, Y/N settled back into a comfortable routine. Draco would try and find excuses to at least be in her general line of sight each day, even if they weren’t in class, just so they could dream together. Though he never gave her any reason to worry, she found herself desperate to commit every moment they shared to her memory. 

Because as much as he said he cared about her and loved her, there was never any guarantee as to what would happen between them in the near future. There was no happy ending that she could clearly envision. The logical thing for him to do was end things with her before he completed his task, or before he returned back home. 

Even if somehow he didn’t want to break things off with her right then, she’d have to face the reality that he would eventually come to his senses. They wouldn’t so much as have the chance to owl each other over the summer, much less meet in person. They wouldn’t see each other for months. And who knows how he’d feel after being without her for a summer? Maybe he would decide that he wanted to be a good Slytherin lad after all and realize he didn’t need her anymore. And, even if that wasn’t true, they couldn’t go on dreaming forever. It would eventually need to end. She’d probably need to harvest her magical signature again at some point. Continuing this indefinitely would only result in her heart and her magic being harmed.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel. What she had with him was all she would ever have, she thought, as she tangled her legs with his in his silk sheets and shared secret, knowing glances with him in passing. This was finite. Unless he managed to convince his mother to escape, something he thought to be near impossible, they were doomed.

~

The Bulgarian Duel began on a cloudy Friday afternoon in April. Y/N had trained hard and long with Professor Flitwick to ensure that she would be able to hold her own against the older, more experienced duelers. Though she didn’t feel invincible, she felt less helpless. The plethora of printed articles about the Pygmy Invitational, depicting her as a rising superstar from unlikely roots, certainly didn’t hurt in raising her morale. 

Clement was her first opponent, and she made quick work of knocking him out of the circle with a nonverbal flick of her wand. The rest of her rounds did not go as swimmingly. She won 2 others by just a hair, but lost the rest, ending on a neutral record of 3-3. 

To cheer Y/N up, Professor Flitwick took her on a tour of the Bulgarian capital, Sofia. It was dark by the time they had finished up with the awards ceremony and embarked on their trip, opting to roam the streets of Wizarding Sofia until they found a restaurant that caught their eye.

It wasn’t like Y/N harbored any negative feelings towards Professor Flitwick—she’d just never really connected with the older professor when she’d begun taking Charms under his supervision. But the trip to Bulgaria was quickly warming her up to him. He was a jolly old man that reminded her of her late grandfather, with all of us stories and elderly man habits. 

Sofia was a gorgeous city. They got to walk past the Alexander Nevsky Cathedra and its appealing teal and gold architecture. Y/N had never seen anything quite like it.

“This is beautiful!” she said to Professor Flitwick as they rounded the corner. “Thank you for taking me, Professor.” 

“Of course,” Flitwick responded. “If we turn this way, there should be a fabulous restaurant a few blocks down. An old friend of mine runs it. It’ll be busy on a Saturday night, but I’m sure he’ll fit us in…”

She followed her dueling coach down a street that had become noticeably dimmer, succumbing to darkness of the twilight sky. The few lanterns that were hung outside the storefronts cast very little light on the cobbled road. Dark shadows huddled in the corners, whispering faintly to one another.

“Wait here, dear,” said Professor Flitwick. They’d stood in front of a noisy pub, full of wizards and witches joyously chattering. “I’ll be just a moment.”

Nervously, Y/N stood outside while her coach attempted to get them a table. The sky was quickly darkening, becoming pitch black and starless. Though the area she stood in was fairly well-lit, she was right across from a dark alley that made her feel uneasy.

The street quieted down as a large group of wizards left the pub and began walking their way down the street. The rate of passersby slowed to a trickle, and suddenly Y/N was virtually all alone.

“No! Please! Don’t!”

The sound of a woman crying shook Y/N out of her exhausted post-duel daze. It came from a crouched shadow in the alley, too far away and obscured by darkness for her to make out anything more.

“Please,” the woman begged again. “I have a family. Children! Please!”

Y/N’s blood ran ice cold. What was she watching? She was frozen in place. There was a movement in the shadows, and she could just barely make out another silhouette standing over the crouched woman.

An awful cackling sound came from the standing shadow. “Oh, dearie. Now I’ll have to find them too! You knew the rules. Get me what I want or suffer the consequences.”

It was a familiar, sing-songy voice. Y/N racked her brain. Where had she heard that woman before? 

As the mystery woman moved to brandish her wand, Y/N caught a glimpse of scraggly black curls, poking just barely out of the alley and into her sight. It hit her then.

This was the woman who had cock-blocked her in that dream about Draco! She was here!

The memory was enough to jolt Y/N into action as the crouched figure wailed, begging for forgiveness and for her family’s safety. The wood of her wand was cold against her palm as she sprung into motion.

“Petrificus Totalous!” 

By some miracle, Y/N’s blindly aimed spell hit her mark before the pair in the alley could move. The woman from Malfoy Manor limply fell into the street, her head bouncing once on the cobble before her body went completely still. The crouched woman scrambled to her feet and bolted down the sidewalk before Y/N could even open her mouth to shout after her.

“Miss Y/L/N!” said Professor Flitwick’s voice from behind her. “There’s a table ready.” When she didn’t respond—she was too busy staring at the woman who she had just paralyzed and likely concussed in the street—he spoke again. “Miss Y/L/N? Is everything alri—Merlin’s beard!”

Her elderly professor appeared at her side, gaping at the woman in front of her, then Y/N’s outstretched hand with her wand pointed directly at the body. 

Y/N never did get to try the pub that Professor Flitwick raved about. Instead, she enjoyed a dry protein bar that tasted of sawdust on her trip back to the hotel. Professor Flitwick was adamant that they find an emergency Portkey and depart immediately after gathering their things. Y/N wasn’t sure what the big deal was—all she had done was stop some sort of drug deal gone wrong, and the Bulgarian Aurors didn’t even bother questioning her as a suspect—but her professor looked like he was about to combust with anxiety.

Y/N didn’t understand what he was so worried about—she’d seen the woman be ushered away into custody. She tried to pry, but Professor Flitwick seemed too frazzled to offer any elaboration beyond, “What you did was very brave.”

~

Monday morning began like any other morning. Like always, Y/N sat in her chair and tried to nonchalantly crane her head around so she could stare at Draco at the Slytherin table. Today, he was thumbing through what looked to be a long letter. His eyes flickered up to meet hers for a moment, sending her a secret smile. She smiled back, the knowledge that she would get to have him all to herself that night humming in her chest.

The day took a strange turn when an arm reached out and yanked her behind a tapestry on her way to Potions. 

She shrieked against the hand that muffled her mouth, trying her hardest to pull away from the figure that had her tightly pressed to their front.

“Sh!” It was Draco. Once she had relaxed, he let go of her mouth and let her turn to face him. He looked happier than he had in months, with dimples peeking out of his slight smile and a friendly scrunch in the corner of his eye.

“I thought you couldn’t see me in person!” she whispered. “What are you doing?” 

His smile grew into a wolfish grin before he grabbed her around the waist and began peppering kisses all over her face.

“Draco! Stop!” she gasped. “Your memories! You can’t do—hmph!” He shut her up by finally covering her mouth with his, his hands twisting in the back of her robes before he finally released her.

“Actually, I can,” he said, looking far too proud of himself. “Guess what happened over the weekend?”

“What happened?” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him look so good-humored and light—probably not since 5th year, she realized.

“My mother just sent me a letter saying that she’s managed to escape,” said Draco. “She’s hiding out someplace in Muggle Canada.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped. “You’re free? You don’t have to do your task anymore? Or go home?”

He nodded, then pulled her into her chest so he could press a kiss to her forehead. It was sweet that he couldn’t seem to stop touching her. 

“How?”

“Her handler—my aunt Bellatrix—was caught somewhere in Bulgaria and taken into custody over the weekend,” he explained. “She was the one in charge of monitoring my mother and ensuring that she couldn’t leave. When Bellatrix didn’t return home, my mother went out on what she disguised as a shopping trip and left for good.”

Y/N paled. “Bellatrix? Like, Bellatrix Lestrange?” The puzzle pieces were starting to click into place. That was the name she’d seen appear everywhere in articles and journals about the darkest wizards and witches of their age. She’d never seen a picture of the witch, though.

“Yes.” Draco frowned. “Is everything alright?” 

“Oh, fuck,” she breathed. “Oh God.” No wonder Flitwick had been so stressed out of her mind. Y/N had single handedly taken out a war criminal.

“You’re worrying me,” he said, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t know that woman was Bellatrix Lestrange,” said Y/N. "I thought she was just—I dunno—a batshit insane lady who happened to be your aunt. You’re related to Bellatrix Lestrange?”

He grimaced. “I know. It’s weird, I’m sorry. She’s my mother’s sister.”

“No, no, that’s not what I’m upset about,” clarified Y/N, waving her hand.

“Then what is it?”

“I was the one who petrified her,” said Y/N. “I saw her in an alleyway. She was accosting some poor witch, and I didn’t even think. I just cast the spell and before I knew it, the Bulgarian Aurors were putting her in some sort of magical straightjacket and dragging her away and Flitwick was patting my shoulder and telling me how brave I was.”

She gasped for breath once she’d stopped—she’d been rambling.

Draco was doing an award winning “deer in the headlights” impression a few inches away from her. “You—you caught Bella?”

“It wasn’t like it was hard,” said Y/N, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her, like she had just turned into a unicorn. “If I had known it was Bellatrix Lestrange, I probably would’ve been a little more nervous. God. I had no idea it was her. She could’ve killed me!”

Draco blinked hard. “Ehm. Well. I’m not really sure what to say. You really didn’t know who it was?”

“No!” exclaimed Y/N. “If I had, I probably wouldn’t have been able to even point my wand at her. Jesus Christ.”

“It’s good that Flitwick had you leave,” said Draco. “The Bulgarians didn’t take your name, did they?”

“No.”

“So, no one will trace it back to you. The perfect crime. You never stop impressing me.”

She smiled at the praise, leaning into him. His chest was warm and solid against her. How had everything turned for the best in a matter of weeks? She’d gone from a nervous, heartbroken, and jaded girl to a semi-accomplished dueler who had caught not only a serial killer but the heart of the boy that she’d wanted for years.

~

After Bellatrix’s capture, things changed for the better between Y/N and Draco. Instead of their midnight rendezvous, Draco would find excuses to snog her in empty classrooms or behind tapestries. They hadn’t made anything public—doing so would’ve been dangerous for Y/N—but she was happier than ever. 

June came quickly, along with Y/N’s concerns for the future. Draco couldn’t go home. Ever since he’d failed to complete his task or offer any progress reports to his ex-master, it was clear that returning to his childhood home would be a repackaged death sentence. Y/N usually tried to avoid the subject, assuming that he planned on fleeing the country or joining his mum or something, but as fate would have it, they eventually had to broach the topic. 

Draco had snuck her into his Slytherin dorm room by making liberal use of disillusionment spells. It was strange to be, really be, in his bed, watching fish dart by his window as his hand stroked up and down her ribs. 

“I’m really glad this all worked out,” mused Y/N, keeping her eyes trained on his window. His body, curled behind hers, kept her from getting too cold in the dungeon air. “I can’t believe I got this lucky. I’m really going to miss you.”

His hand paused on her waist, and she felt him nuzzle her shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to see you for a whole summer,” she said, trying not to sniffle or do anything else equally as embarrassing. “And that’s under the assumption that you’re even coming back to Hogwarts.”

“Oh,” he said, exhaling a shaky laugh. “You don’t want to see me over the summer?”

She sat up, turning to give him a stern look. “Of course I want to see you. But aren’t you going to be in hiding or something?”

He shrugged. “I mean, yeah. I wasn’t planning on appearing in Wizarding society. But you live in the Muggle world over summer, right?”

She nodded. 

“And on that note…” He cleared his throat, looking a little awkward. “I’ve meant to ask this for a while, but I don’t want you to feel any pressure to say yes. The last thing I want to do is intrude on your family over the summer. I’ve been thinking about that conversation we had before Yule in the corridor. You know how you said that I could stay with you over the break?”

Draco waited until she nodded to continue. “Did you really mean that? Or was that just a spur of the moment thing?”

“Of course I meant it,” said Y/N. “I’m sure my family would’ve been alright with it. And I would’ve wanted you there, too, of course.”

“Right,” he said. “I know that it’s poor etiquette to invite myself like this, but would you be willing to host me over the summer?”

Y/N gaped at him. “But your mother! Don’t you want to be with her?”

“She can’t tell me where she is in Canada over owls,” he explained. “She says it’s too risky to disclose that information, especially internationally. It could easily get into the wrong hands. I agree. I think it’d be best if I waited to come to her until after everything is settled and I know that we’ll both be safe.”

“So until after the war?”

He pressed his lips together. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, you can stay with me for however long you’d like,” she told him, reaching up to tap the top of his nose. The tension in his face was replaced with relief, then affection.

“I was worried you would say no,” he admitted.

“And why would I do that?” she asked, grinning madly. Her boyfriend was going to live with her for at least the summer. Why would she ever refuse something like that?

“I don’t know,” Draco said. His hands found her waist once again, and he leaned forward to kiss the corner of her mouth. “I know I’m asking quite a lot from you.”

“I’d do anything for you,” she said without hesitation. “I’m really glad you asked—oh!”

Something cold pressed into her bare waist—Draco’s ring. He was smirking at her as she tried to regain her breath.

“Something wrong?” he asked innocently, like he wasn’t dragging the cool metal from her waist down to her stomach, and then lower still. Then, leaning forward so his breath fanned over her neck: “I thought you liked my rings.”

For the first time since she could remember, she no longer dreaded the onset of her looming muggleborn summer.

final a/n: hi everyone :) thank you for coming along for the ride of this fun series! i'm not sure what i'm going to be writing next. it always feels so bizarre to finish up something like this. ik i keep sayign that (insert series name here) is going to be the last thing i write for this community but idk if i mean that...because it's sm fun to write these. thank you all for reading. i apologize if the end seems abrupt!

tags! @writeandtranslate @sycathorn-slush @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell @yiamalfoy @crystalox @dracoismybabey @dreamcxtcherr @decaffeinated-turtle @marrymetheonott @felicityofbakerstreet @daedreamss @sycathorn-slush @writeandtranslate @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural @sycathorn-slush @big-galaxy-chaos @lilyrachelcassidy @ynalouis @sivuda @zzoz942 @imabee-oralizard @afuckenslutforharrybro

[zathechaosgod]

Favourite Stream moments: Phil’s stream on Friday 13th of November

(Missed the first part bc dinner and he started early, will watch that back tho so I hope you don’t notice it too much?)

Quatress is almost done! (Possible new project soon??)

Phil is expanding his stream buttons and has an chat-in-emote-only button now!

The messages from bits and donations aren’t on screen anymore (you can still see them in chat though and they still get read aloud!) because they really filled up the screen and makes editing for youtube bad rip

Techno enjoys sleeping, grinding, and eating sandwiches

Phil didn’t call him despite it being 10am for Techno because you never know what his sleeping schedule is like

Phil will tell Techno at some point about his offline chat and get him to do something about it lmao

(It’s slightly hilarious seeing him working on the quatress when you know how much the stream ends up getting derailed lol)

Today is decorating the walls by using different quartz blocks!

Scott (Smajor) came by to tell Phil to watch the MCC update video

First TIM of the day

Phil is watching the MCC Update video!

Phil loses it over Scott singing happy birthday (and apparently he and Kristen impersonate Scott around the house lmaoooo)

Rocket spleef birthday cake!

Epic Landlord (who blew up parkour warrior) is not allowed to blow up another minigame and will repent for his crimes

The map for parkour warrior on the practice server is currently still a mess (they finally fixed it today nvm)

Parkour tag is the new minigame!

It has Battle Box vibes, but 60 second rounds of 1 hunter vs 3 runners, with both teams in two combinations of 4 players playing at the same time.

There’s a limited amount of number someone can pick to be the hunter! (So no dream as hunter every round)

Pink slime and Canal and Sky Battle won the votes on twitter

Phil is happy with Canal, and he understands Sky Battle bc Sky Blockle is slow and better for people not that good at pvp, but Sky Battle is way more entertaining to watch

Ace Race revamp! Old footrace map transformed for ace race!

(Probably because Techno broke the game last time, similar to Dream and Parkour warrior lol)

Chat says: Techno nerf

Nether Bingo sticks around!

TERRA FORCE SWOOP IN TGTTOS!!!

MCC ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY HYPE

Lava window under the stairs looking POG

Tommy visit to ask when and how Phil will die

(In his seventies to a heartattack, hopefully peacefully/in his sleep)

...Tommy says he thinks he knows how Phil will die

TERRA SWOOP FORCE TIME

“No one dies, they just pussy out” - TommyInnit

Phil speedruns all the tsf maps while I stare in awe

Tubbo wants to talk (despite not calling Phil)

Tim is still here (Phil saw him coming)

First run on stream: 135,5 seconds

Tubbo called to scream about the MCC update and swoop and the “harder” button

I honestly live for the way Phil calls GeorgeNotFound just Gogy, but entirely unironically

Tubbo claims Phil’s team is going down (both of them have decent teams, but Tubbo has Wisp and Phil has Wilbur)

Phil can and will ridicule Tubbo if he crashes during terra swoop, regardless of the reason lmao

Prediction: several people will just crash into the ground at the start because of not-opening their elytra

Tubbo got a mcdonalds mcmuffin today and took out everything but the meat and claims it’s a burger

Tubbo may or might not have build a redstone machine to place sand to drain the ocean monument, despite the fact that building (and rebuilding) it takes just as long if not longer than placing sand by hand

Mcmuffin sausage patty: beef or pork or cardboard? the debate continues

Debate has been paused because Tubbo fell in the zombie pit

Tubbo showed his sand machine, it’s incredibly slow

Uhoh someone asked for takeout advice again (wednesday this started an hour long discussion on which us states suck) (it’s all of them)

Practicing the last level because it’s the only one that’s not just muscle memory for him at this point

Star Glide by Muzz is a must listen holy wow that song is a BOP

Also Battle Cry by Mazare!

Second real run: 133,55, no mistakes!

Phil needs the sequel directly injected into his veins (pls add him to the tester team)

Berserker by Mazare as well lmao (although a lil bit too hype for minecraft, unless you put it under like,,, a techno killing spree maybe)

Is this a song rec list now? whoops

That’s On You by Mazare is another bop as the song recommendations continue

Phil keeps making mistakes on the final level and Ian is disappointed

Tim has figured out that Phil can’t skip him when he’s flying lol

126,70! MAN MIGHT HAVE SET A NEW PB

WR is 125, Phil could sumbit this run and get second place lmao

MORE SWOOP WON BY A SINGLE VOTE

Ad break did not start ads and he forgot to block notifs, as Ian so helpfully pointed out through a notif

Momza waved hi!

WR HERE WE GO

Philza is no longer a hardcore minecraft player, just a Swoop

Wilbur visit to ask “if phil has ever”

Phil is gonna get put in a home by wilbur and techno when he’s old if he doesn’t get wr

TECHNO CAME BY!

“Have you tried going faster”

Phil said Techno better not screw up this part in mcc

Techno just answered that he certainly wasn’t going to

(bc he’s not in mcc this time)

wr attempts continue

New pb 126.20!

Actual WR is 124.95 SO CLOSE

Getting verified on twt is either knowing people or paying a lot of money

“So the only thing standing inbetween Techno and getting verified on twitter is sociol skills? sounds about right”

Phil analyses the record video and he actually clips through a leaf block at one point???

Also the video is 1080p but also very obviously not at all

It’s all very sus gotta be honest

WR not happening tonight, Phil is doing something with Tubbo and Tommy (Tommy yelled YES through a message)

Raiding Scott who is also playing Terra Swoop Force!

Last thought bc this has gotten so long already but it’s honestly such a good marketing play to put a tsf map in mcc because it’ll get everyone hype for the updated version that’s coming!

[nem0c]

if you think about it the way the original sin story is written makes it seems like snake is the third gender

I don’t really think the Edwardian ‘Intermediate Sex’ theory provides a satisfactory explanation of observed phenomena, given that its couched in either primitive medical science (defect in the womb or ‘‘‘‘female brain’‘‘‘) or poetic allegory (female soul) but I think the observed sexual types broadly correspond to those you’d observe today and have the advantage of both being more varied than Freud’s invert with narcissistic and sadomasochistic tendencies and making clear that it is only extremely recently that society started conceiving of sexual abnormalities and gender abnormalities separately. i.e. the observation is good, but the explanation is lacking. (Additionally, I think it’s easy to see parallels in victorian and edwardian society because social relations haven’t effectively changed that much since then but I wouldn’t expect to observe exactly the same types in ancient thrace or 13th century mongolia or whatever)

In Catholic Canon (though idk if the Malleus Maleficarum can really be considered Canon) and English Literature, angels are composed of a bodily but subtle substance that can transform itself at will and chooses a gendered human form only out of convenience of communication. I always saw the eating of the fruit more as an inevitable encounter with duality, limitation and change (through death) which was necessary for worldly embodiment (and I think it’s easy to see this myth in Hegel’s initial separation from the Absolute Spirit). This makes God’s sacrifice of himself to himself to absolve humanity of a sin it was necessary to commit seem even more egotistical but nvm. A thorough criticism would have to deny the existence of the Absolute Spirit itself and start from a worldly embodiment that proceeds through stages of sublation with no particular final destination in mind (which is pretty much what marx does maybe, get those interpretations in).

[clairvoyantsam]

13 Reasons Why S4E4 Thoughts

1)Charlie talking in the unknown person’s funeral ... Is it ... Zack?? Fuck ... Why else would he have the football shirt on?? :S

2)”Anxiety is a motherfucker. Excuse my language but ... everything that’s out there is waiting to happen to you.” IF THAT’S NOT RELATABLE IDK WHAT IS ;_;

3)So ... the calls from Monty’s phone and the dummy were all a prank on Clay and all the jocks took part in it??? FUCK THOSE ASSHOLES. And Diego can go sit on a cactus.

4)Jessica being friendly and MORE towards Diego after what he did to Clay??? Yeah, girl, you’re getting on my nerves this season, just like S1.

5)Being a person who battles with anxiety all the fucking time, the sessions between Clay and his doctor, the things the doc tells Clay to use in order to face the anxiety sound actually pretty helpful to me, just sayin.

6)Who the fuck sent that confession/e-mail to everyone ...

7)Charlie making granola cookies for the camping trip. WHAT A PRECIOUS BEAN <3

8)Alex breaking up with Winston ... Me thinks Winston is gonna get angry and resume his Monty vengeance mission.

9)I FUCKING KNEW Clay would eventually lash out on Justin who only wants to PROTECT HIM!!! FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!! STG IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM, I’M BURNING DOWN EVERYTHING.

10)WHO CHANGED THE DAMN HUNTING CLUES??????

11)Oh no, Justin thinks Clay ditched him while the truth is Clay looked everywhere for him before he got jumped :S

12)WHICH ASSHOLES DROPPED CLAY IN THAT PIT????? IMMA BREAK THEM

13)ALEX????????????????????OMFG NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! HE FELL IN THE WATER AND HIT HIS HEAD AND ZACK IS FREAKIN DRUNK, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  OK NVM, Zack pulled him out THANK GOD

14)Bryce’s “ghost” having incects coming out of his mouth??? FUCK NOOOO

15)Alex crying in his dad’s arms :(((( I’m sad

16)Okay ... hold on ... is something supernatural really happening here ...?? Is the urban legend about the killer in the woods true??!?! O.o This episode is giving serious “Friday the 13th” vibes.

17)Uh ..... was that rope down there with Clay before?! WTF. And why is that symbol from the graffiti carved on that rock O.o Did Clay do all that .....?! Diego said Clay wasn’t in the pit when they went back for him ... WHAT IS GOING ON, I’M LOSING MY MIND

18)WINSTON, LEAVE CLAY ALONE.

~On to episode 5 ... And I thought the previous seasons were dark, bruh ...

[theday]

HIII!!! ITS YOUR MBB SECRET SANTA I HOPE YOURE HAVING A GREAT DAY FULL OF HAPPINESS!!!! I love monsta x and i bet you do too also I LOVE WONHO HES SO SQUISHY RIGHT NOW AND THE HAIR cries ok so i have a question of the day: what got you into mx? Mine was a long ride but it was w o r t h i t!!!

HELLO!!! MY DAY JUST STARTED ACTUALLY BUT I SAW A BUNCH OF MX ON MY DASH SO.. its already filled with happiness and love :-O btw this is rly long

how did u guess…. me …. a blog with the url cuddlychae… liking monsta x????? how didu make that connection… im just kidding i love you? already sjjsjsjd PLEASE JDSJJ I KNOW MY TAG FOR HIM IS LITERALLY SQUISHY KING I LOVE HIM SO MCUHCJS id write a whole ass essay but thats for another time 3 how do you like his hair??? he dyed it like . 3 times this cb rip wonhos scalp but god the purple really grew on me after awhile and then he went fiery red and i was like ? >:0 but the purple…. the red is grpwing on me too alsjjdjs i could never hate wonho(’s hair) i jsut wish theyd let his scalp breathe a bit or he’ll go bald soon

are we going straight into the questiosnsjjsjs tell me about yourself first!!! you can call me egg or megan if calling me a round food object is too strange jsjj i use she/her pronouns and !!! im turning 16 this december 26th which is literally nvm i wanted fto say smth like twice of today since its the 13th and 13 x 2 = 26 but never mind…. 

this got so long already my friend (what shall i call you?) this is how i am normally whenever i start i dont stop riidjjsjsjk we’re in for a long ride buddy :-D

ok so monsta x … the monsta men……. so firsts of all . my good friend buddy pal karissa (who is barely on tumblr) is a big mbb but i didnt get into them bc of her though she shld get mentioned bc of her i have someone to yell about monsta x.. irl… bless her . now shes kind of relevant to this story actually in june and i was at her place with another friend and that was the day mx had their coomeback shine forever so we agreed to watch it with her :-o back then i had no interest in kpop at all so i was like hm . the whole time but their music was great in my young opinion back then since she let me listen to beautiful right after that (also jooheon in the beautiful mv caught my eye in shine forever it was minhyuk and jooheon i didnt take notice of anyone else whoops) 

that was my only mx experience until .. after i got into day6 (after being more open to kpop) my friend (a different one, boxy) she started talking about mx bc she got sucked into their wormhole .. and she would talk about mister yoo kihyun for ages which was cute (ok honestly when i first looked up pics of ki i was like whys . he her bias bssjjsjsjsks now i understand) she’d link me videos such as the daeng daeng daeng cover and kihyuns hyeya to show us how good kihyuns vocals were (which i completely ignored for awhile bc of mister minhyukku…. kihyun im so sorry i did u dirty for the longest time) and then she linked us to the funny videos i had to bold that bc . monsta x are the best comedians alive… kings of comedy . she gave us this video to watch and i lost my mind watching it beyhjsjs

this is long and dramatic only bc i love to talk but basically i got into mx bc they were fucking funny that sounds so dumb but i watched all their reality/variety shows in less than 2 weeks without knowing who each member was (i could only recognize jooheon) every episode/series has made me laugh so hard and i think because i fell for their personalities more it was easier for me to??? for them to??? become one of my favorite groups??? after that i watched all their music videos (hey all in ruined my life and burnt my crops wtf…. i love all in so much,,,,) and then proceeded to watch most of the subbed vlives/monchannel videos it was a wild time honestly and it wasnt only after a while that i started following more mx blogs and just interacting with fellow mbbs??? the click idk if u know them but theyve helped me open up to other people on here too so im really grateful to them!! in the end i just??? i mean i got into them late august and it hasnt even been 6 months but i would really give my heart and soul to monsta x theyre so kind and just really fucking sweet + talented and im so happy they got their first win!!!!!!! 

this is really long so if you read this thank you!! something i want to establish is that (breaking some rules here) you dont have to send me 3 asks a day because.. thats ridiculous i mean i understand where the organizer is coming from but please dont ever feel pressured to send me asks - just do it when youre free/when you feel like it!! i want to make this a stress free and fun experience so dont worry about it okay!!! another thing, im completely fine if you send me more than 3 asks in one go (since theres that character limit stories will be hard to tell) i love reading people’s rambles so if you ever feel like writing a whole wonho love essay please go ahead!! 

my questions for you are the ones i mentioned previously at the start and how did you get into monsta x?? you said it was a long ride so im rly curious!! just tell me whenever!!! i might take some time to reply bc i only reply on desktop and ill be out the whole day but dont let that stop you from sending stuff if u want!!!

thank you so much for reading if you did, i hope you have a wonderful day and that if youre sleeping soon, youll have a good rest!! do let me know what youd like me to tag your asks with by the way! i love youuUU

[janiedean]

meme!

tagged by @doegred-main thank you! <3

Nicknames: lavi irl, I guess janie counts lol Gender: female Star Sign: leo MBTI Type:  isfp Height: 165 cm Time: 20:30

Birthday: august 13th - god guys I’m turning 29 in ten days STOP THIS NONSENSE Fav Band: bon jovi Song stuck in my mind: lately? the pearl by emmylou harris Last movie watched: the quiet man, re-watched but I WROTE A FIC WHERE PEOPLE MADE A REMAKE OUT OF IT SO XD Last show watched: ripper street, I’m mid-S2 and I need to go on When did I create my blog: 2011 What do I post about: asoiaf. mcu. dark tower. fanfic. politics. wank. a lot of wank. books I read. tumblr being dark and full of terrors. 

Last thing I googled: dimensions of ryanair luggage allowed on planes

Do you have other blogs: I have @thefemaleghostoftomjoad which one day I’ll manage to use properly (it was for srs philosophy/history talk/discourse and so on but I never managed to get it started XD), I have a few urls saved that I haven’t used yet and obv @theonexchange and the medici exchange blog which are just for fanfic exchange purposes and the theonweek one. one day I’ll actually use the other urls but hahahahaahah. ah no wait well I tried to keep it hidden but whatever @indecento is my the 100 sideblog I only ever use when the show airs because I don’t want discourse pertinent to that show in my personal blog ever like ever Why did you choose your url: janie is from jon bon jovi’s janie don’t take your love to town which is prob my fave solo song of his but I chose it when I was twelve, I wanted an internet name related to bon jovi and it was the only female name in any of their songs at that point, dean is for eddie dean from the dark towe. (alternatively: my fic/ao3 handle is janie_tangerine bc tangerine is my favorite led zeppelin song nvm that there’s an entire story behind the tangerine thing but no one wants to know that) (a few people know lol) Following: pfffffff *checks* 1268 blogs. yeah. I should cut some.... Followers: 2653 wow thanks guys xD Fav Colour: pink

Average hours of sleep: seven but I’d need eight Lucky number: 2 Instruments: I play bass horribly and I know the basics of how to play the piano What I’m wearing: violet dress

How many blankets do I sleep with: one tho it’s really iight Dream job: does published writer count, because if it was me I’d spend my life selling used records but I doubt it’s doable. I mean guys there’s a reason why I’m a mix of brienne and rob from high fidelity..... Dream trip: US road trip coast to coast Fav food: pasta al pesto Nationality: Italian.

Tagging: @robb-greyjoy @lunavagantt @haljathefangirlcat

@feanoriel @distractedbylife @sarah1281 and whoever else wants to XD

[yodiaryshitblows]

number 9 wanna pull out my spine

January 13th 2019

So it’s one week later and like, what do i have going on in my life? one job, no gf, frens i haven’t seen in a damn MINUTE, other frens i just saw a few days ago (but not really). 

just got a text from mah boi, the one i haven’t seen in a bit. respondin while writin which kinda dates this too so, coo? he talkin to his ex rn which to me is like :sideeyesemoji: but like, whatevs. he wants to talk to that chick it’s his deal idrc. 

anyways, back to my dumb ass. that’s a thing i don’t really do? often. which is funny cause that’s ALL i wanna do most of the time. just drag the convo towards me. I always in the background have this lil need to like, ask about myself. how do u see me and all that u know?i wanna, know how the perception filters of everybody else shake me out in the eyes of the people around me so I can be like, cool, how do I streamline their perceptions into something that I wanna be recognized as. 

got another text from mah boi hol up. nvm he just tellin me will do in response to me tellin me to tell that ho waddup but like, more politely and less like i’m tryin to crib black stereotypical speech in order to seem more personable and relatable to an audience that doesn’t really exist because no one is reading these ‘cept me atm. t

hat was a long one huh? I’m like, mexican, btw. idk if that’s clear? on main or in here but like, latinx babeyyyy! that’s a thing i’m tryin to do now too. add more exclamation points so that the general feel? of my message gets through instead of just like, blandish. that’s kinda how i always was back when i was more active in online chats and shit. blandish but sweet. anywhatsits. the formatting of this/these posts is garbage but I’m not gonna do anything to fix that. don’t really care enouh to nor do i know of a better way to space it all out. actually i’m gonna try rn but like, just so you know, this was all one massive text wall earlier. 

there, did a little spell check too. this might be my longest and most well formatted post to date. which isn’t saying much considering that these have only been going on for about a month and change but, shut up. I'm gonna end this post now because it’s devolved into a random tangent about what i’m doing atm instead of it’s intended diary purpose so, see ya in the next one!

[swiftiephobe]

wait nvm it says on the item page we should order by dec 13th to get it delivered by dec 25th (in usa) so it's not 24h only ok

is this merch only gonna be available for 24h? it says it's for black friday but there's no countdown so is it limited time only or not?

[booksbroadwaybbc]

Lets Transform Ourselves Day 9 (Pics on /dailyprogression) via /r/selfimprovement

Lets Transform Ourselves Day 9 (Pics on /dailyprogression)

Background information:

I'm a 20 year old Middle-eastern guy who's very figgity, impulsive and really only thinks about the short term benefits of everything. I used to be addicted to Gaming, but ever since i became 18 years old i decided to leave that part of me behind. I live in a lower-class home, we live off of welfare and I've had the fortune of being born with an above average-IQ which has led to me being able to go to university with a loan.

Last year 2017 December 17th I quit university, broke up with my girlfriend (whom i lived with for 4 months), ditched all my junky friends and moved back to my hometown.

So this is what I'll be doing every single day.

Waking up in the morning at 7:30 AM

Meditate for 10 minutes

Practise a skill/craft in my case Programming for 2 hours

Walk for 2 hours per day

Do 50 Pushups + 180 Situps

Read a book (Currently : 4-Hour work week) for 2 Hours

Go cycling for 1 hour

Be hygienic

Eat clean and track the calories that i'm taking in

Log of 13th of August 2018 - Current time 23:20 PM :

What's going on people, i'm back once again with a really sick vlog ! oh wait... No this is not youtube nvm. But jokes aside i'm back with another log! This time no hangovers no drugs... or maybe just a lil' teenie bit? Lets gets started.

Woke at 7:30 AM (hell yes) this is gradually being turnt into a habit, which means that it'll become automatic like teeth brushin' and taking a shit. Which is absolutely great, i will finish up my schedule (or so i thought) before my day's at its end so i'll be left with loads of free time !!!

I did my morning routines, I ate and then went for the shower feeling really refreshed. I didn't exactly hop on to the next thing on the list, at least not on this one. Yesterday i wrote down : Clean your room on my white board, which i take pictures of and post on /dailyprogression. And that's what i did, i cleaned the room, and it felt way more... I guess clean? and it stimulated me to be clean as well, clear in my mind. I then went on my laptop to check how my E-commerce "business" was doing and i found out that i received my money from selling products online which was a big chunk for me 880$ from just 2 weeks of passively selling online products. Not too bad, it made me feel happy the whole day because it's the first time i ever make this much money so quickly. And more will be coming soon.

Now i did my things that weren't really on the list, it was time to really clear my mind and actually meditate. I took 10 minutes off to do this, i started of being all excited because of what happened with the e-commerce business so my thoughts were being driven heavily by excitement and joy. Usually when i feel these emotions i also become impulsive and distracted. The meditation session went deeper into it and made me be in control of my emotions, i ended up questioning every single thought once it arised and countered them in a way that i'd like my thought process to go. No impulsitivity at least not on freaking monday and also calm down the excitement. All in all productive session !

after this I really wanted to exercise, it was about 13:00 PM and i went for a walk. I was feeling way better while i was walking than yesterday when i did it. Obviously it has to do with the fact that i was feeling like a train wreck back then, but today it was going smoothly. I noticed that i was taking the same pathways every single time and if i don't do this usually time goes slower. So i keep taking the same pathways that go through nature area's and usually the last path is to the city and back. This habit is becoming so strong that i really want to be walking all day, obviously if i'd do this my legs would be tore apart. But yeah i enjoy this more than anything, more than watching dexter, more than... fapping? Crazy right. 2 hours completed it was 15:00 PM and i was going to be doing my exercise.

Push-ups and sit-ups, i wanted to do 60 pushups and 180 situps. Didn't exactly go as plan. I did 10 push-ups per set for 5 sets instead of what i planned to do which was 15/4, not a big problem because i still managed to get a great pump and it'll keep my muscle active as i'm cutting down on the bodyfat. After push-ups comes sit-ups and those are important because i want those sixpack-abs it's a goal of mine it has always been and the chicks love 'em. I did 180 in total and per 30 repetition i change my form, at the end i do a plank of 30 seconds. The plank is so god damn difficult when you're 150 situps in, gosh.

Here's when i get distracted. It's about 15:30 PM my sister passes me a joint and we end up smoking one and that keeps me busy for about an hour. (never smoked with her before) It was very chill and i think it made me super relaxed for the rest of the day. from 16:30 onward it was me preparing diner and having it. After diner i decided to go biking for an hour.

Cycling is very healthy, and here in the netherlands everyone is transporting themselves through it. The traffic usually always has a traffic light specifically for bikers and the roads are adjusted for it as well. It's just super great, People should stop sometimes and acknowledge this fact and become grateful about it. I've cycled for an hour today and i noticed the same thing that i noticed with the walking, it's becoming easier to bike faster and my legs are feeling less sore. That's a deal breaker because this means that the coming days will be easier and easier that way i won't have to use as much willpower which means i might be able to add a couple other habits !

so 19:00, i wanted to go programming but instead my little brother comes in my room and asks me for attention. i give it to him being the good brother that i am, and we hang out for about an hour. 20:00 in and still didn't program, time's running out. I take a quick shower because i did sweat a lot from the cycling. I eventually start programming at 20:30, managed to watch 10 tutorial video's and repeat them. The language i'm learning currently is javascript and it went over some technical things that you can do with it primarily "variables" and "if-else statements" and some specific to the language content. Overall very very informational learnt a lot.

Now it was time to read and i am just not feeling it, i read about 10 pages and quickly lose my attention, my whole body is feeling tired and sore and i decide to stop at about 45 minutes in to write this on reddit.

Now guys, we're 9 days in and i'm still crushing it. please leave behind some feedback and also like the post if you enjoyed reading it !

Submitted August 14, 2018 at 12:37AM by AttackPrince via reddit https://ift.tt/2BgjpsC