#its me gron

[number-one-hog-hater]

I've seen more Bible verses in Always Sunny fics than Good Omens fics.

[number-one-hog-hater]

Sghsjshhsjsks Thanks for the tag @shatlass

1.) 3 ships?

Macdennis, hilson, and ineffable husband's rn

2.) First ship?

I'll be honest prolly peracbeth or the doctor and rose

3.) Last song?

Spotify had a "daylist" and this was recommended cause I was listening to classical music last Friday

4). Last Movie?

Prolly Oppenheimer? Maybe? At least that the last one I remember watching and enjoying

5.) Currently Reading?

Nothin' that's an actual book. Read a 128k hilson fic today tho.

6.) Currently watching?

HOUSE MD BAEBY WE /L O V E/ DR. HATECRIME AND THE MALPRACTICE MINIONS

7.) Currently consuming?

I just brushed my teef

8.) Currently Craving?

Outback cheese fries with a Shit Ton of their ranch 🥺

9.) Tag 9 ppl (sorry for double tags but it be like that)

@kennysaysthings @nailgunstigmata @hottest-gay-bar-in-philadelphia @margle @kod-lyoko @emodennis @translesbianvampire @dennisboobs @zemolvr

9 people you would like to get to know better

tysm for the tag @alexmey-does-an-arts!

1. 3 ships; bowuigi, metadede, heavy/medic(I forget the name lol)

2. first ever ship; alphyne

3. last song; Ghost Cowboys by Louie Zong

4. last movie; Midsommar. That was…something

5. currently reading; Dante and Aristotle discover the secrets of the universe. Pretty fire

6. currently watching; JCS criminal psychology

7. currently consuming; nothing

8. currently craving; Iced Cream. About to go get it. I know there’s mind chip in my freezer (:

9 people to tag; @littlegreenwyvy, @garf-official, @d1nosaurpower, @tractor-inside-joke-fucker, @junkydoodlez, @seacrown, @neldu-nak, @darkcanid19, @stormyykat

[lizzieislife94x]

Damn It! (e.o)

Requested <3

LizzieG!PxFem Reader

Another update for yall 😇 assssssss always requests are open my loves.

Lizzies POV:

I groan and rub my templates as my extremely attractive new assistant trip's sending the coffees flying this girl can't do anything right I only hired her because I wanna have her "I'm sorry I'm so sorry miss olsen ill get it cleaned and get some more im so sorry" she panics making me look at her god she's so fucking adorable "y/n take a seat just leave it ill get it cleaned after work hours, I need you to go book an appointment for a new client for Thursday can you do that " I say a little annoyed as smiles and nods "yes I can do that easy!" With that she jumps out of the chair and leaves my office.

Y/ns POV:

I can't help but curse myself why am I so clumsy why does she make my brain forget how to brain I sigh and dial the number lizzie gave me as a woman quickly answers

Hey my names y/n I'm calling on behalf of miss olsen she asked me to arrange an appointment for Thursday. I say waiting for a reply

Thursday is perfect this Thursday or next Thursday y/n. I hear as I start to panic fuck shit she just said Thursday is it tomorrow or next week

Umm I uh next Thursday, thank you have a great day. I quickly hang up the phone as I gron leaning against the table.

4 hours later:

"See you tomorrow miss olsen" I say as I head out to leave the building "I need you tomorrow bright and early don't be late" her tone is matter of fact making me gulp "yes miss olsen see you tomorrow"

Next Day:

Y/ns POV:

I take a deep breath before walking into the office "you got this y/n don't let her make your brain stop you can function like a normal human being" I whisper to myself before making my way up to the top of the building "morning y/n I think you should turn around and leave" Joe one of my co workers states making me panic "lizzie is on the war path she had everything ready for the meeting with the new client this morning only to find its booked for next week" I groan and cover my face "fuck I panicked when she asked what Thursday and lizzie didn't tell me it was meant to be today" I whisper as her door swings open "y/n my office now!!!" She yells slamming the door making my blood run cold tears threaten to run from my eyes as I make my way into her office "damn it! Y/n how could you fuck this up" I don't dare look at her "you didn't tell me it was for today I panicked and said next week" I whisper my voice failing me "don't give me the tears it was a simple task and you somehow fucked it up how is that possible" I sniff and look up "I'm sorry miss olsen ill do better" she laughs folding her arms "I think I should teach you a lesson right here huh?" I look at her confused wiping my eyes "please don't fire me miss olsen this is the only sorce of income I have " I pleade as she smirks sitting down "oh I'm not going to fire you be a good girl and go make sure the blinds are closed" I stand up confused as I close them "now come here I'm going to make that cute little ass red bend over the desk and show mommy your ass" her change of tone turning me on what the fuck is happening I slowly do as I'm told till I'm bent over my bosses desk her hands running down my back gently rubbing my ass making me bite my lip "you've been asking for this since you started such a clumsy girl can never do anything right huh, I think you need mommy to teach you " I let our a loud audible moan at her words making lizzie laugh "pl...please teach me mo..m..my" I beg as I feel her stand behind be pulling my ass flush against her waist the feeling of something hard pressing into me "can you feel what you do to me y/n" she whispers into my ear as I nod trying to press my ass into her harder "oh don't worry you'll get mommy's cock and load soon but first I gotta mark that ass of yours princess " I turn slightly as I bite my lip "I.. I.. I'm not on birth control" I stutter as she slaps my ass hard making me moan again "even better you'd love to be full of my seed with my baby growing in your cute little stomach" I nod slowly as she pushes my dress up over my ass "never knew you where a thong girl" she grins pulling my now drenched thong down my legs making me instantly spread my legs a groan falling from her lips as her fingers gently tease my soaking entrance "fuck" I cry out needing more her laugh ringing in my ear "I want you to count how many times I spank your ass can you do that properly? Can you count for mommy" she mocks as I nod her hand slamming onto my right ass cheek "one" I yelp suddenly another and another and another till she finally stops at 10, my ass feeling its on fire "my hand print looks good on your ass" she whispers biting my ear as she unbuttons her pants "so fucking hard thinking about making you take my dick" I turn with my back now on the desk needing to see her "fuck" I pant as she holds her hard cock in her hand "don't worry princess you'll be able to take it " she smirks as she steps closer teasing my dripping pussy "mommy please...Don.. t tease me" I beg as she finally pushes her whole length inside me making me scream "that's it sweetheart let them all hear how good mommy makes you feel" the rest of the world forgotten as I moan like never before as she runs her hand up my body my body grabbing my tits "gonna make you mine slut" she moans her thrusts somehow getting faster the feeling of her deep inside me hitting spots no one ever has has my whole body shaking "shit don't stop oh my fucking godddddddd I'm gonna cum"

I scream as I start to cum lizzies grin getting bigger as she continues to pound me not letting me recover "such a tight little pussy fuck it's like it was made for me" she leans down kissing me as pounds and pounds "fu...ck mommy" I moan against her lips for only her to hear "if you fuck up from now on I'm gonna fuck your brains out baby" I smirk as my eyes roll "that's just gonna make me do it on purpose" she moans as she slows her thrusts "so fucking naughty, I'm close sweetheart gonna fill your pussy" she moans her eyes closing as her thrusts get harder my second orgasm seconds away as I feel her hot sticky seed filling my unprotected pussy sending me over the edge making me cum harder than I ever have my body trembling as the pleasure rushes through me lizzie slamming deep inside me holding still "fuck y/n" she moans into my ear both of us recovering from the intense orgasm "now you gotta walk around with my cum leaking out of this well fucked cunt" she smirks teasing my clit making me shake "I don't even care" I giggle as she pulls out quickly fixing my panties for me "that was better than I've pictured" she smirks cupping my cheeks leaving a gentle kiss on my lips as she fixes her pants before sitting on her chair pulling me into her lap "but we do need to talk about all these mistakes sweetheart" I feel my cheeks blush and hide my face "it's because of you" lizzie looks at me shocked and confused "what do you mean" I groan as she grips my chin making me look at her "you make my brain short circuit like I know I can do the work but you somehow make my brain stop " she laughs cuddling into me "well I'm sure we can start to fix it from now on huh" I smile and nod as I cuddle into her a loud knock making me jump "go away come back in an hour" I giggle as she laughs "I want time with you they can wait" I smile and trace patterns on her neck as we cuddle in comfortable silence.

AN: hope this is OK 👍 drink water and stay hydrated babes 💗 word count 1.5k

[nimata-beroya]

For day 1 of @bahrynfestival I'm sharing an idea for a fic that I want to write someday, and fulfills the prompt of "In another life".

So here it goes. Imagine this:

Everything happens pretty much the same except for a small, but very important detail. What if Zeb was not only a captain of the Honor Guard, but also of the Royal Family of Lasan. Being a distant relative of the queen (like third cousin or something), he was so down in the line of succession, that in his youth, he never imagined he could sit on the throne. Neither did he have the desire to do so. The only way he could do that, however, was if his entire family die… and then the Siege of Lasan happened.

He still escaped his home planet and eventually joined the Ghost Crew. He never said a word about his royal status. But the day the crew rescued Chava and Gron, he's forced to face the fact that he's the sovereign of his people when Chava started babbling about the prophecy of "The king, the warrior, and the fool". He managed to keep the fact hidden by admitting that he had been an Honor Guard, but taking advantage of his unwanted position, he forbade Chava and Gron to tell the others anything else. Chava was not happy about it but recognized he wasn't ready for taking the responsibility as king, so she kept her mouth shut, for a while. Besides, the prophecy came true, Lira San was found.

Every time she brought the subject up in the later years, Zeb always had the excuse of being fighting the Empire; that it was his way to serve and protect his people. Not entirely untrue, but once the war is over, it wasn't a good excuse anymore.

You might be wondering where was Kallus in all of this, well, he still was a bastard ISB agent: he and Zeb still got stranded on Bahryn; he still became Fulcrum, and eventually defected from the Empire. And of course, they both were stupidly in love with each other, pining each other endlessly, making everyone around them wonder when they'd kiss already. It happened on Endor, during the celebrations after the second Death Star blew up.

The first months after that were a true honeymoon, until Zeb started to be a ball of constant stress, and Kallus asked him what was going on. It took some serious encouragement, but Zeb finally confesses that the group of Lasan survivors along with some Lira San natives wanted to reclaim Lasan.

At first, Kallus think Zeb is upset because they'll be apart for a while, which he'd understand, but when Zeb he'd have to stay in Lasan because he's their king...

"Excuse me, you're their what?!"

Zeb asks Kallus to go with him, because he can't do it alone, he doesn't know how to rule, he doesn't want to. Kallus refuses at first. He's terrified of offending other survivors with his presence. It was already hard to accept Zeb's forgiveness, but others wouldn't be so gracious. But in the end (and with the help of Chava, using the prophecy as an argument) Kallus goes with Zeb.

A few Lasats weren't too happy about his presence, but for the most part, they saw Kallus' help to restore Lasan as his atonement for his participation in the siege. He was giving them back part of what he took away from them.

During all this, Chava had a side scheming going on. She never told Zeb and Kallus that there was a second part to the prophecy, which said that the King and Warrior would lead their people to a golden age. As part of their coronation rituals for Zeb, whoever was destined to become the consort to the sovereign would find a branch of a specific, very special tree that later would become the royal scepter. She left those finer details out of the explanation when she asked Kallus to help her find a branch for Zeb.

Zeb was surprised and flustered when he saw Kallus coming with the branch in hand knowing its significance, especially because there a bunch of people around who also knew.

"You didn't tell him, did ya?" he said to Chava, who had the smugest grin.

"Tell me what?" Kallus said, scared that he did something awful.

Zeb explained and ended up asking him to mate with him, awkwardly because it's in front of everyone.

So that's how Alexsandr Kallus became Prince Consort to King Garazeb Orrelios of Lasan. And both restored and led Lasan to a golden age, just like the prophecy said.

The End.

[capitalwildcat]

Dream about working at starbucks, where I have not worked in many years.

I was working at starbucks. Not just that- some weird licensed store where I was the only person who knew how to make any drinks.

Also- I was sitting down the whole time I was making drinks, so I was reaching up to work the espresso machines.

We had a ridiculous amount of those espresso machines too. I mean dozens. In oddly seperated rows.

AND THEN some woman came in wanting to buy bottles of chestnut praline syrup. And I had to go alllll the way downstairs on like a big escalator to the stock room.

To check.

No praline, obviously, it's too popular. We did have pickle flavored syrup. And jalapeño inclusions. And some weird rose-flavored sauce.

Anyway, I had to tell this lady about 5 times that we had jack shit for her, and she still wasn't comprehending

A coworker (who seemed to do exactly Nothing in terms of work) came downstairs to tell me they needed me to make drinks.

Back up the escalator.

First person's cup? "Gron". Like a bastardization of green. Quotation marks included!

Its not matcha. Just gron. I have no idea what this means. My coworkers are no help at all. I wing it- I make a regular latte.

2nd person wanted a normal iced coffee, thank god, but they also wanted us to microwave a bottle of seltzer.

And then, it was praline lady who started telling me the amounts she'd be paying, instead of her actual order.

I begged my coworker to ring her up so I could move on to the next customer's drink (a line had started to form)

And then I woke up

[xxlittle0birdxx]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars: Rebels Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios Characters: CT-7567 | Rex, Yogar Lyste, Kaeden Larte, Chava (Star Wars), Gron (Star Wars), Lasat Characters (Star Wars), Hera Syndulla, Alexsandr Kallus, Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios Additional Tags: Movie: Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Post-Battle of Endor (Star Wars), Planet Endor (Star Wars), post war plans, Planet Lira San (Star Wars), let's go home, Episode: s04e15-16 Family Reunion – and Farewell, Epilogue, Imperial Officers (Star Wars), Ewoks (Star Wars) Summary:

Zeb glanced down at the datapad in his hand to reassure himself the message was still there. ‘Do ya know where ya want to go now that it’s all over?’

Kallus turned onto his side, mindful of the trailing tubes in his arm. ‘I haven’t the faintest idea. I haven’t thought about it, if we’re being completely honest.’ He snorted with a sardonic laugh. ‘I lived on Imperial starships or Imperial bases from the age of fourteen until I defected for good. Then Rebel bases and Rebel starships… It isn’t as though I have a home to return to. I wouldn’t know my parents if they stood in front of me. They’re probably dead by now.’ He rolled the edge of the blanket between his thumb and forefinger. ‘Perhaps we can find some Mid Rim city where no one will look twice at us.’

Zeb set the datapad aside, the message from Chava glowing on its screen. ‘Come home with me.’

[findswoman]

Heads Up Seven: Last Seven Lines

I was tagged by both @daughterofluthien​ and @apollonkondric​ in different iterations/versions/etc. of the last-seven-lines-of-WIP tag game, both some time ago now—so let me begin by thanking you for tags and apologizing for taking so ungoshly long to answer them! Most of it was that for a while I simply didn’t have any WIPs to my name for the last month or so, and it’s only been in the last few days that I’ve been able to get any prose down at all, and then only tiny bits. It’s that old disconnect between having ideas and not having either energy or time to actually write them. But hopefully-maybe-kinda-sorta I’m beginning to turn that around!

So, here goes. I think this may be eight sentences (some long) rather than seven, but otherwise the biggish paragraph at the end had one sentence left out, which would have been a little silly:

“Well, there she is, boys.” Captain Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios crossed his arms proudly. “Isn’t she a beaut?”

“Aw ’bast, just look at that!” exclaimed Senior Lieutenant Barogroz “Groz” Spargstaung.

“Sir, a mighty fine vehicle, sir,” added Middle Lieutenant Tarbigron “Gron” Stultzfoss.

“Whoa! That’s so wizard!” breathed Junior Lieutenant Garashai “Shai” Orrelios, the captain’s younger brother by six dust seasons.

Captain Orrelios and these three lieutenants stood on the central parade ground of the Lasan High Honor Guard base, gazing admiringly up at the newest addition to the Guard’s fleet: the long-awaited HG-AT-R-X. This heavy armored transport, recently released by the [FILL SOMETHING IN LATER] Corporation, was the newly enhanced and extreme version of the Guard’s staple transport, the HG-AT-R (Honor Guard All-Terrain Rover, familiarly known among the ranks as the “H-Goater”). It constituted the first major improvements to the HG-AT-R in several dust seasons, with four redoubtable-looking turbolaser cannons mounted at each of its corners, Lasan-Malamut Armament Corporation’s new compact-model ion cannon mounted at its top, and enhanced extreme-terrain mobility, with the ability to alternate between tread mode and walker mode. It was painted in the dark green and yellow colors of the Honor Guard, and the great seal of the Guard, with its rampant konculors and three crossed bo-rifles in three different modes, was emblazoned on either side.

And now, I shall tag: @lasatfat @tarisilmarwen @jadelotusflower @runrundoyourstuff @fontainebleau22 @gondalsqueen @rendar-writes @sassygirl579 and anyone else who may want to try!

[spacemilkies]

and the times keep turning

summary: 

by the age of thirteen, ben learned to stop asking for things he wasn’t going to get

until he met you

word count: 8k+

a/n: I figured I’d just go for the full AU. Still a bit of canon angst but we’re in this for the fluff(ish)

Ben tells himself that he isn’t staring (even with Klaus snickering to his right). But he’s too fixated to bring up a complaint. So he raises a hand, wrist still angry red and marked with a curse shining fresh, under the dull light of the dingy donut cafe in dismissal. It would be so easy to walk over. For once, he’s not crowded in the center of the booth and free to move independently. Naturally, he won’t though. Even when the universe is working against his decision. The restaurant feels less ventilated than it ever has. Even with the help of inconsistent opening and closing of the entry door. The air feels humid and hot, the overall discomfort of it all creeping under his clothing like an itch. He knows he looks ridiculous, jaw slack and accompanied by a wide look of wonderment. He certainly knows he feels like it, the tempo of his heart beating against his chest rattling his bones. It’s so simple. Even when his conscious insists that it’s not. All because it’s you. 

 You’re with a friend.  Just one.  But he can tell you’re close from the way the two of you lean in together. Sharing laughter and smiles. If he had the capacity to feel any other emotion than infatuation, he might have felt envy. Not just because your friend was so near to you. But because of the obvious relationship the two of you shared. Friendship was still a foreign concept to all of them. He’d like to have friends. Maybe one day. After you. Klaus is back again and Ben barely registers the weight of his arm on his shoulder. Yeah, he might look like a creep. But he’s been a freak all his life, whats one more title. Klaus is close. So close Ben vibrates as he pipes up in his ear. “She’s cute.” And Ben wants to scoff. Argue. Come to your defense in anyway he can. Because you’re not just cute. You’re beautiful. Amazing. Ethereal. (yes he knows what that means. He read about it once.) Everything he wants, even though he doesn’t quite comprehend any of those words to their greatest extent. Though he’s certain you’d blow them all out of the water. “You should talk to her.” Ben is happy that Klaus is adopting a softer tone for once. He doesn’t need his theatrics drawing any attention to himself. “No.” “Why not?” “No, Klaus.” “She can’t be worse than the monsters you’ve seen.” It comes as a joke. But Klaus is so right. So so right. Ben is the monster. And monsters never get the princess in the happy ever after. “Oh, does Benny have a crush?” Five’s voice is chased by a sharp jab to his side. With a little less training, Ben might have doubled over. He still might as the rest of his siblings chime in as they catch on. “Who is it?” “Ben has a crush?” “That’s so cute.” “Father would never approve.” Father would never approve of your love for Allison, Ben wants to quip back. But then he thinks, maybe he would? Being grandfather of super babies might even get the old man to smile. Diego managed to make it around the table before Ben could catch up with his movements, throwing an arm around his neck and dragging him out of his seat. The little restaurant is never very packed, so its easy to draw the attention of the room. For now he’s safe though. A booth of rambunctious thirteen year olds draws more shakes of the head than shows of concern. Ben thinks he sees your gaze dart over briefly. “Bro …you hav-” Diego slips up briefly but manages to carry though with determination. “Go. Don’t be the last one waiting for your first kiss.” Ben blinks, before squinting at the challenge. As far as he knew, they were all of equal standing. “Guys, just stop. Please.” It’s a futile attempt. They continue egging him on, somehow bringing even Vanya into the mix. They get louder until Ben finds himself pressured out of premature mortification than anything else. They send him off with a cheer and he deems them all assholes. You don’t see him coming, but your friend does. They seem attentive in a way that Ben thinks they caught on a long time ago. Ben swallows thickly ready to embarrass himself and move on but they beat him to it. “Aren’t you from that academy ? Umbrella or something ?” Ben’s first instinct is to shield his tattoo. A modern day taboo on a child his age. But he’s too late because now you’ve seen it too now. Twisting in your seat, he finally sees more than a glimpse. In actuality, you’re not perfect. Up close you’re human. There is no celestial light or singling angels. But you do have an adorable button nose and dimples poking at your cheeks. You smile. And he mirrors it with a level of ease he’s never attempted. “Hey, dude- did you hear me?” He does. But now you’re opening your mouth to speak and he could care less about anyone else.  Your voice is an addictive timber as your eyes dart down to inspect his covered wrist. Recognition ages slowly on your features as you come to terms with everything. “You all were at that fire a few weeks ago.” Ben remembers it. Much more vividly because he had little to do with that day and he’s glad it’s your first recollection. You don’t remember him as the monster who easily tore men to shreds. You probably barely recalled his presence but that’s okay. It was a fresher start than he was expecting. “Uh, yeah sometimes we save people?” It sounds cheesy but you laugh and suddenly he understands the meaning of butterflies. You thank him even though you were no where in the vicinity and knew no one from the tragedy. He accepts your invitation to sit even when you both know he didn’t come alone. But he doesn’t care. You ask questions. A lot of them actually but they’re good ones. You ask about his favorite color. If he has any pets. What he thinks about 7th grade math. Later, you walk away knowing more than he’s told anyone ever. But he knows your name. And a chance to see you again. And he feels like the winner. 

It had taken three tries to successfully meet up for a proper meet up (a date). That fateful night had been a casual occurrence for the Umbrella Academy, but for you and your friend it had been a stretch on your own curfew.

At the age of thirteen, Ben was still very much under the thumb of his father. But as he later learned with Klaus’ help, it was much easier to sneak out as an individual rather than a group. 

What it really came down to were the missions.

For a moment, Ben was actually worried that his father had caught on. The alarm always seemed to go off just before he was meant to meet with you.

But tonight was different. He’d managed to make it onto the street without a problem.

When he found you were equally as nervous, toeing unsurely outside of the little cafe. Ben’s apprehension was slightly more geared to the tall individual looming just a few feet short of you, obviously taking him in all his entirety.

With a laugh you introduced the third wheel as your cousin, a necessary excuse to let you out alone. With a staged whisper, you’d promised him that he would keep his distance.

And he did, but his gaze apparently wasn’t part of the deal.

Ben squirmed uncomfortably while trying to down his milkshake without choking. He was happy to be sat by the window, relying on the distraction of passerbys at each polite opportunity. Sometimes impolite when necessary.

“So-um, you look pretty.” He felt silly mentioning now, more than twenty minutes into your outing but he’d been too scared to chance it with an additional set of ears. To think he’d taken down men twice his size and still managing to be intimidated.

Your head bowed, cheeks heating at the compliment. It was a subtle warmth, just barely adding color to your skin. But your gron was the real winner.

Shyly you poke at your straw, coaxing it into a slow circle. “You do too,” you add with a bit more confidence. “It’s different, seeing you out of your uniform.

He was less recognizable too. With his sleeves pulled taught to his wrists, he was just like any other kid on the street. Something he rarely got to experience, especially away from his siblings.

Ben’s returning smile is more reserved with a half shrug,” We don’t always have to wear it.”

“Are you really a superhero?”

His lips pull taut, and unrecognizable look on his face as he considered your question. Was he a hero?

Luther fit the look of a hero. Even Diego accepting the title with his own flair. Allison and Five had their own style but he-

It didn’t matter the mission.

No particular scenario.

Somehow he was always doused in blood.

His own cape.

Sometimes it felt more like the cloak of a villain.

He jumps at the touch of your hand, finding your gaze teetering between comfort and apologetic.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Ben thinks you’ll pull away. Leave it at that. But your hand stays, your fingers tapping a distracting staccato on his knuckles that he found himself craving. By focusing on it he managed to chase away the self depreciating thoughts.

“My mom always says everyone a hero as long as you make a positive change. And from what I can see you guys are helping a lot of people.”

It’s not enough, but it’s something to hold on to.

Ben can’t remember the last time he felt something reach out that wasn’t from within.

It’s three months after your first kiss that Five goes missing. 

He doesn’t tell you at first because he thinks his brother will come back. They all do. Because it’s Five. 

Reckless but reliable. He’s the smartest of them all, so of course he can find his way back to them. You’d only had the short pleasure of meeting him from odd occasions and late night donut excursions. So you believed it too. But a month goes by and Ben’s breaking. Nothing is getting better. His father doesn’t stop sending them on missions. So he cracks a little more. More people die. Most by his tact and phantom limbs. There’s blood and gore. And he finally shatters.

“How do you do it ?”

When you aren’t tempted by sticky donuts or overcrowded booths, the two of you sneak away to your peaceful oasis. You’re fifteen now with a little more freedom.

Autumn is your favorite time to visit the overlook. The whispers of winter creating a nice enough breeze to accompany the glittering lights of the city below.

You’re leaning back on your hands, your legs casually slung over your boyfriend’s lap.

Ben had been quiet when you’d brought up the question. But in truth he’d been wordless for weeks leading up to now. His touch was less too, as if he thought the briefest affection would scorch your essence.

For longer than you’d like, you had rolled with the change. Unable to do anything but allow the gap to get wider as you bid your time just trying to understand.

Klaus had been tight lipped about the subject, but it turned out that you didn’t need words for an explanation. You could see the haunting look in his eyes.

It was the first time you began to wonder, had Superman ever broken down?

Ben’s little finger twitches against your own it he doesn’t follow the urge. His gaze strays for a second,” Do what?”

No playful guess, or ticklish prodding. Just a dry response.

You try to fill the void, offering a timid smile that trembles. This was a deep dive for your relationship and he was so far under.

What happened if you couldn’t make it back to the surface?

Your hand clenched around the ground before extending, gaining just enough to brush his fingertips. He hesitates but doesn’t pull away yet.

“Do all the stuff you do ?” Biting the inside of your cheek, you feed off the pain to root your resolve. “You’ve been doing this so long but … Ben- does it hurt being a superhero?”

“Yeah, it hurts.” It starts off slow. A few pebbles sprinkling from above.

You don’t expect him to answer. To hear his voice crumble, rocks sliding together in a downpour of emotion.

“Were not invincible- except maybe Luther. But it doesn’t fucking matter because we’re kids. He forgets that we’re children who didn’t ask for this.”

Your hand hovers at his back, trying to find the right time to intervene with comfort.

“But he bought us fair and square so I guess it’s his choice, right ?”

Your legs slid against his as you decide instead to give him space. The stout pillar of sadness was degrading into a pile of salt.

But he catches you by the waist before you can move, your gasp heating his cheek as he drags you closer. This time your legs part to let him in, arms confident as the looped around his neck.

This is the closest you’ve been in weeks and it feels so good.

“No, Ben, it’s not okay. “

But you’re only fifteen and with all the power between you, you can’t change anything.

You’re brushing just above the waters of seventeen and not much is better. But you understand Ben more. Think you’re more equipped to help. It never escaped you that he may be touch starved. Such a tender gift that weighed heavily with social implications. But you wanted to give it to him. Because you loved him. And most importantly wanted to believe he loved you back. It was reckless but your parents were out and honestly you could give a damn about the rest. The kisses were too hot, the touch’s only providing more sparks to the flame. Ben moved the two of you from the doorway, to the wall until the back of your knees bucked against your bed. You were more focused on getting as many layers off as you could during the travel time. Swallow his little moans of protest when your actions blocked a kiss or the tangle of clothing halted his hands. But nor here you were at the meeting point, both goals accomplished in full. Lips swollen, bodies stripped to the bare necessities and flushed in anticipation.  Biting your cheek, you reached out to map out the plane of his abs. Dressed comfortably in hoodies and loose clothing, Ben made it hard for you to remember that you were dating a superhero. A boy being cultivated into a man with vigorous training. Gripping the single strand of boldness between the both you, Ben took your free hand, drawing it loser in exploration as his lips attached your neck. The two of you shared a mixed groan of appreciation: you at the suction against your throat and him moshing at the tentive palming of his bulge. The two of you weren’t strangers to the taste of pleasure. Buye this would be the first time that you forgo the limited trials and accepted the full package. The spontaneously of it all had been tainted by a bit of planning , necessary actions for privacy. But now it was finally here. The boy you’d fallen in love with at the age of thirteen, settled firmly if not a little anxiously between your legs. His hands ran along the length of them carefully as he voiced his concerns,” Are you sure about this?” You captured his wavering hands, threading your fingers together. You were both bound to be nervous. It was a first for you each. But not the first taste of fresh experiences for either. You’d been each other’s first kiss. First date. First significant other. First love. And now- Nor you were never more sure of anything in your life. “As long as it’s with you. I can face everything with you at my side. “ His lips quirk in that soft little smile and you knew the worst of his worries were settled. Letting him go, you brought him back into a kiss, encouraging him to lead at his own pace. You swallowed the urge to flinch at the first touch of his fingers curling under the band of your panties not wanting to reignite any anxiousness. Instead you encourage with a roll of your hips, expressing your consent. It’s not the first time he’s touched you there and the confidence is present, if not weighted down slightly from the added implications. But it felt food, and you made sure to let him know as much. Your lips quirk when the tips of his ears redder in response to your breathy call of his name. Moaning came easy when his string fingers dipped into you, his thumb not idle as it stroked you. “Hm, condom?” You remember thoughtfully, not too far gone to forgot common sense. You’re thankful when his fingers remain in you as he reaches over your head. From the new angle you award yourself with a kiss, humming and grinding down on his fingers. You’re no expert on what’s wet enough but you think you know your body enough to want to try. Rolling your eyes, you snatch the square before your boyfriend could attempt to free the rubber with his teeth. The last thing either of you needed was a tear. A soft gasp left you when his hand left you without warning, needing both hand to free himself of his boxers. When the condom was freed without injury you did the same to yourself, completely bare to one another for the first time. “So we’re really doing this?” With a deep breath you confirmed shyly,” Yeah. “ Getting the confirm on properly was a little awk arc and way too many hands were used. There were a few giggles here and there and ticklish touches to guide them. Timid glances. Accelerated heartbeats. One more deep breath. And a push. Your thighs quaked against your bodies internal battle to abort. It stung a bit but it wasn’t as bad as your friends made it out to be. Ben was Attentive as always, delivering wet kisses until you gave him the okay. Your nails bit into the meat of his arm but he never complained. When you looked up, his eyelids were wrinkled from the pressure of holding them together. Your grip loosened to a caresses as you checked in, “Ben? Are you okay?” One eye blinked open, his face a mix of s grimace and pure bliss,” This is going to sound really cliche but you’re sososo tight and I think I’m going to come.” You laughed, genuinely laughed at his ‘pain’, head thrown back in the act. Yeah, you two were going to be okay. 

High school isn’t a breeze but it gusts by like August wind. All too soon you’re ordering your cape and gown and wondering about college. Like everyone else you’re unsure, a little scared but somehow excited all at the same time. Ben is leaned in close, resting his head on your shoulder while you scroll through your emails. There’s nothing new there. Hasn’t been for the last half hour but you refresh every few seconds just in case. It’s the unofficial acceptance day and most of your friends know where they’re going, except you. Ben strokes your arm from your bicep to your elbow, dry lips scratching the underside of your jaw as he leaves a short kiss,” They haven’t forgotten about you,” he assures. You know they haven’t. Because they can just as easily reject you. But Ben, the ever consistent and loving boyfriend, is determined to distract you properly. His limber fingers plunk your phone away from you even as you complain. “I didn’t buy you a milkshake just to watch it melt. I’ll keep an eye on the mail.” You’re too weak to challenge him, especially when he’s kissing you in reassurance. So you huff and purse your lips fro the straw. Ben was right. It’s good and it brings you a little comfort. That and the way his hands absentmindedly play with your hair. As promised, from the corner of your eye you spot his thumb dragging across the screen of your phone every few minutes. You’re halfway down the strawberry bliss when he speaks. But it’s not with news. “You’re great whatever college you get into. You know that right?” You do, but that’s not the reason for your stress. It just so happened that the school of your choice came about to be one of the highest ranked in academics. But you weren’t chasing the prestige. You just wanted to stay. Rooted in the same city that brought you into the same life you couldn’t see yourself without. It just helped that schools status made your parents proud. They could look past you remaining for the sake of your boyfriend when they knew you were in a top tier university. But it was all riding on you getting in this one. Because your second choice was hundreds of miles away. Ben of course reassured you that the relationship would be fine. He never wanted anyone other than the girl he met at thirteen. It was sweet but the world was sour. And he had a dangerous life. Nothing was certain. And everything- Ben’s thumb stops. And you close your eyes knowing he’s hovering over the first unopened email you had in days. For a moment it’s quiet and then he’s kissing you. It’s a very Ben kiss. Slow encompassing. One he used to give and seek comfort. And it leaves you wanting to cry. “Baby..” You’d planned meticulously for your life to fold one way. Preferably around the two of you, shrouding each other from the rest of the world. His hands cup your cheek and you know he’s urging you to open them. But you can’t. “Baby, you got in. “

The soft click of your front door turning puts you on edge. Your hand tightening around the feeble defense of a wooden spoon. Edging against the shadows of the wall, you refrain from the urge to call out- because honestly, who the fuck does that? You’re perched, ready to strike- When Ben rounds the corner catching on to your intentions with a delayed widen of his eyes. “Really? A spoon. “ With a huff, you clamber off the stool a little put off that your boyfriend wasn’t nearly as confident in your skills as you were. You couldn’t all be super powered. “You could have at least texted asshole.” Since you’d reached the age of independence, you traded the comfort of your parents home for the benefit of living a bit closer to the university you were attending. At first they’d been worried, especially at the prospect of you living alone. You didn’t think assuring them that a superhero often took up lodgings and you weren’t in complete solitude. Of course they knew about Ben. But as far as the rest of the world knew, he was busy with the Umbrella academy. Except for the few times he wasn’t, and sought solace in the little pocket of peace you provided for him. You didn’t care when he showed up, granting him a key to emphasize your point. As long as he gave you a heads up. That was really the summation of your brief list of rules. The moment you got use to him just sliding in, was the moment the same went for anyone..

“Sorry,” his mumble came dry and not too apologetic. The sixteen year old you might have been more understanding. Young and still fresh in the whirlwind of love. But at twenty-one, now you finally caught up in the adult world. You had classes to worry about, grades to maintain to hold on to your scholarship. An assistantships to help pay the bills. In a position where you have so much, you’d earned  the position to ask. You would have been more willing to curl into his request of comfort, ready to mutually accept and give what you needed most right now. But his curt response edged with unconquered aggression only sparked the flint of your smoking irritation. “I’m sorry, did the big bad Horror show get his tentacles twisted ?” Dark eyes flash and you know immediately that’s you’re rousing a haggard beast. Too bad the comfort of knowing that same beast for some odd years belittled the warning. “I’m not in the mood tonight.” Bringing your hands to your hips, you show no signs of backing down. “Neither is the rest of the world- which surprise!- still manages to revolve with or without you.” His body shudders, or maybe it’s a quake? Either one brings flighty hands into a tight clench as he sways unhelpfully on his dark hoody. Another thing you weren’t looking forward too. Ben had adopted the habit of tossing his clothing in with your loads without warning. Often mixing colors or ruining them with stains. Squinting, you couldn’t make out any foreign material but it wouldn’t surprise you to find some blood disguised in the dark lining. “Not yours though.” His time is sharp but also something else. “Your world would stop, because mine would too. ” The fight was still there. You certainly had it in you to go quite a few rounds. Like a lot of things in your relationship. Fighting with Ben was easy. He wasn’t just a compliant punching bag that took the jabs and rolled with them. In fact he was worse. Having triple the amount of siblings push sparing with him quite a few notches  above your weight class. Unfortunately a championship belt valued for little and in the end you both settled separately in misery until the threads tightened and sew the two of you back together again. The stitching wasn’t always perfect but you were my ended and had something to look back on. So here you prepared yourself. Ready to swing through the motions and hopefully leave the one beaten but still standing. But Ben just stood there, nails digging into his palms. “Can we just-“ “Not?” You finished helpfully, hopefully. Nodding quietly, Ben left you standing there to drag himself into one of the chairs of the island counter. His sleeves dragged against the counter to leaning- yep definitely needed to use a detergent for blood tonight. The lack of a fight somehow left you more exhausted than an actual one but you still managed to work through dinner. It was over a fork full of pasta that you considered your boyfriend with a critical eye. It always occurred to you why he didn’t leave the estate. College had been a whim of an aspiration for him.  But if he wanted to could he really? You were all still so young, barely reaching the height of adulthood. But you were managing so far. There was no reason why he couldn’t as well. “Have you all though about moving out?” His fork freezes and you worry you’re about to ignite something. But his voice is quiet. “And go where ?”

For awhile it calms down. Your second year of college was a smooth transition into your third. And now you have a better idea of how you plan to mold your life. The July sun is searing reminder that summer is almost over. Something you’re both excited about and dreading. You’d spent the last two months a few hundred miles away on an internship. It’d been the furthest you’d ever been from home. And equally the longest you’d been from Ben. With a clink, your front door opens and your luggage slumped against the entrance of your apartment. The end of your trip wasn’t your only relief. Coming back to see your apartment in one piece had been the greatest stress reliever. With another year still left under your belt, there had been no reason to let go of your lease. But with the internship, this was the first time you hadn’t occupied your home. You considered renting it out, a suggestion from your father to gain a bit of revenue. But that required moving your things out, which frankly defeated the whole purpose. Besides. Why waste the effort when you had a house sitter on call? “Guys?” Kicking your bags out of the way, you let the door close behind you as you ventured further into the flat. It was quiet in a way that made you a bit anxious. Ben had known you’d be in time around this time. You parents had insisted on picking you up so you had him forgo the effort of meeting you at the airport. It made sense for him to wait here for you but it wouldn’t surprise you to find him out with his family on some excursion. Or what was left of the team. From what he’d filled you in on, only Luther, Diego, Ben and Klaus were left. Allison’s disappearance spoke for itself. You’d come across more than a few promotional ads for her first role in an upcoming movie. It was shocking to say the least, to find out your childhood friend was on the cusp of a celebrity lifestyle. But as one of the Umbrella kids, you supposed they all were. With nothing but her academics, Vanya had been the first to move out to pursue. Very little was known about her personal progression. According to Ben, no one was concerned enough to pry. So in the revelation of the academy growing into their own shoes, it made sense for Klaus and Ben to enjoy a bit of freedom. One you were happy to give as long as it didn’t come at the price of a lost security deposit. For some reason you were hesitant to turn on any light, thinking it might ruin some indiscernible setting. The setting sun was still high enough to provide you some light, the soft glow equal to the glimmer of the bulb above the stove. Yet it was somewhat unsettling to think that they were here. Surely they would have picked up on your presence by now. The training they’d suffered through would have managed to hone their skills that much. The hunt of your small flat was short lived, coming short of your bedroom where your inconspicuous house guests lay scattered in your living room. Klaus managed to once again fit himself uncomfortably into the chair under the window. His head craned in a way that hinted he’d been chasing the sun until its descent. One of your throw bellow wedged under his arm instead of behind his back. You were almost urged to drape a blanket over him. But he was so quiet. You weren’t referring to the light scores rumbling against her throat of course. But the lack of shifting, the absence of mutters and heartbreaking screams. In the wake of everything you’d known about Klaus was the perfect image of peace. “Hey, sweetheart.” There was a shuffle of clothing as Ben rose from underneath the mounds of your knitted cover. He’s yawning around a languid smile, drawing you near with a lazy beckon. It’s the the welcome home you’ve been waiting all day for. His laugh warms you, curling around your body as you straddle his waist and bring your arms around him. The kisses are light and noiselessly, intentionally formed so not go disturb the still slumbering occupant. Ben’s lips brush your cheek as you take in the rare sight again. “He looks so at peace,” you comment quietly. Ben hums in agreement and you shift to accommodate as he slouch’s back into the cushions. Helpfully, you gather the blankets back around you. “Been like this all summer. ” He kisses your raised brow and tucks you closer,” I’ll explain in the morning. But this was a good idea for both of us.” You fall asleep dreaming about what it would be like if everyday was like this. 

Everyone has had enough, Ben tells you over the phone one day. You’re at the library, fumbling quickly with your things at the first sound of distress. You managed to escape to the outskirts, hidden between the shelves as he spoke. The last mission was bad. Too close for comfort and the consensus was to get out once and far all. He shares his fears. None of them are really ready to face the world alone. They’ve saved countless lives but it’s still not enough to conquer it. But Vanya managed, he scoffs, still agitated by it all. It became common knowledge by now that she’d climbed to the top of the class of the local university. Providing a rather vivid and compelling dissertation into the life of her family. 

Your offer comes easy. Maybe because you’ve been wanting to asks for years. “Why don’t you live in with me?” His resigned sigh isn’t exactly rejection. “What about Klaus ?”

Ben’s eventual decision lined up with the end of your lease nicely. After three years of seeing the same walls, you were experiencing the newness of indulgent arches and patio gardens. Klaus managed to come up with quite a few demands, even apartment hunting with you and Ben. “Nothing but the best for the most sickening sweet childhood sweethearts you’ve ever seen.” You’d wanted to interrupt him on more than one occasion but he just rolled into another tangent as you scouted out all imperfections and cried for justice. It had taken most of the week for the final decision to land on a quaint three bedroom townhouse downtown. Now you were six couches deep in the department store as you unsuccessfully corralled a disgruntled Klaus. You grimaced guiltily through a smile at the hovering employees expression their displeasure. Not that you blamed them. Klaus really taking the ‘try it yourself’ offer too far. Legs kicked up, swaddled in a blanket with one if the throw pillows under his arse- Because that was his money maker. Klaus was very much at home. Which would be great. If you were at home. Not in the center of IKEA on the verge of getting revoked for loitering. Scanning the store, you desperately tried to locate your boyfriend, uncertain of how you got out on babysitting duty two shops in a row. When no help was on the horizon you reluctantly settled into your role. “Klaus, honey..” You tried to start. “This is the fifth couch you’ve made your own. It’s just lounge ware not your final resting place. “ “You see that’s where you’re wrong my dear. “ Your body sags in defeat as he rolls into another speech. Somehow managing to belittle a billion dollar industry built on home economics in the process. A touch on your shoulder comes as more relief than surprise when Ben appears next to you. He takes in your exasperated state with confusion and inclines his head back towards the rest of the store,“I’ve been waiting by the beds. Why are we still looking at couches?” You gesture to his couch-ridden brother,“I think Klaus has an obsession. “ Ben seemed to have given up on comprehending all together and reached for his brother’s hands, dragging him to his feet. A quiet ‘thank god’ flitters behind you. “Dude, you can pick out the couch too. But you really need to decide on a bed before the ones on sale sell out. I really don’t want to fight a coupon obsessed mother. “ A perplexed Klaus loses all his theatrics. Its in his confusion that the most clarity is found for you. Throughout the course of the weeks, you’d noticed little things, but you’d never expected this kind of miscommunication. You hadn’t realize such a direct approach had been necessary. “You want me to pick out your bed too? I didn’t think you’d value my expertise so much. It’s rather refreshing “ You in Ben share a look. The tilt of his head cementing your conclusion. You say slowly “ We already picked up ours. Remember the sleigh bed ?” “Oh right. I take back my words. Shame one your distasteful cliche.” You resist the urge to scowl. You quite liked the woodwork if that choice. “Well good thing you get to choose your own,” Ben grumbles, equally as proud of the choice in the bed frame. He manages to get everyone on the walkway in route of the direction he’d come from. He takes on last look at Klaus’ calculating face before he gives up.“Oh for fucks sake Klaus. We want you to live with us.” “What?” Reacting to the softness in his voice, you reached around your boyfriend to twine your fingers,“Were just getting ahold of this adult thing. You thought we’d make you figure it out alone ?” You’re happy when everyone decides to ignore the obvious wetness pooling in Klaus’ eyes. The store had enough of a stage production and the last thing it needed were the three of you breaking down over the implications of growing up through childhood. Klaus thankfully just squeezes back in response, but there is an obvious crack in his voice.“You really want to live with me after 17 years ?” “I figured she could to suffer an equal amount of the trials of living with you before we could call it even. “ Laughing wetly, you pinch Ben’s side playfully “Yes, we want you to live with us.” “So the apartment ads?” “Yes, you’re getting your port side view because you asked for it. Not because we were just appeasing you. It’s yours.” “I don’t know what to say…” Ben perks up visibly as the three of you approach the more congested part of the store. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d exaggerated about the chaos of selection. “Can we discuss it after you pick a bed on this sell?. “ He was already trying to map about the best way to navigate through the masses. Frankly, you were already starting to miss the couches. And Klaus. Ben protested loudly when his brother ducked under his arm and pivoted in the opposite direction. Klaus barely managed to eade his grasp, snatching the waist length of us coat up like a victorian style dress. “Oh this is all wrong. We need to start all over. Honey, that kitchen table with those drapes? Not in my house.” With a flounce he disappears down an adjacent pathway. The feeling that settles over you, under the thick fog of irritation floating around Ben, is eased content. With a comforting hand, you drag you palm over the tense muscle of Ben’s back and counted to ten for him. 

Twenty five feels like a prime accomplishment, but in truth you’re so far from truly encompassing the progression of an adult. But you are a college graduate and a proper contribution to the workforce. Both Ben and Klaus were well on their way to understanding too. It had taken some effort, but with Ben’s help you managed to convince Klaus into seeking counsel. There would never truly be a point in his life that he would come to ignore the voices but perhaps channeling them would drive away the ache. At first, he’d been resistant of the idea of being diagnosed with ‘PTSD’, a symptom that he didn’t feel truly exemplified his ordeal. That was of course, all until a war ridden solider named Dave stumbled into a session. It was the first time Klaus had managed to manifest a spirit on pure will. Driven by the urge to comfort Dave with the news that his fallen brother wasn’t tormenting him and had indeed passed on with no regrets or grudges. It was Dave who had recommended Klaus to the community center for a position as an official consoler, taking with his own breakthrough. Neither you or Ben had commented how it had been the quickest Klaus had agreed to anything that wasn’t his own idea. Conveniently, Dave had also recommended a few good places for dinner.

“Oh shit. “ With a groggy groan you nuzzled unconsciously into Ben’s chest. It was too early for you to properly comprehend the tone of his voice but your body still provided comfort under the guise of apprehension. Ben responded to you gratefully, long fingers tangling in your hair through small loops eventually pulled taut when reality finally settled. His lips flapped, opening and closing around the truth that felt so much like a lie. A mirage. But certainly it really couldn’t happening- “Ding dong the wizard  is dead. Which is quite frankly sad news for me but wooo!” The two of you flinched, jumping to attention at Klaus grand entrance. Ben, the more awake and informed, relaxing first as he shared a look of disbelief with his brother. If two people believed the same thing, it was closer to the truth right? Still trying to swallow around the news, Ben cleared his voice shakily,” Can you see him?” Klaus managed to clear the low hanging haze of sleep from the room when he pounced, bed shaking under his weight as he made himself at home in the sheets. Ben vaguely registered your groan of protest as you tried to secure the sheets around your modesty. The act was for naught however, as the two umbrella children were preoccupied by a more pressing matter. Rolling his eyes, Klaus lounged back against the foot of the bed, forgetting his own modesty as his bathrobe slid around his body to accommodate. With lazy excitement he twirled the strings,” As if I’d willingly summon him. I just got him out of my life, Ben,” he scoffed, to which the others merely shrugged. It wasn’t like Klaus gave out invitations to his phantom visitors. “Can someone get me up to speed?” You requested disgruntled, a little put off from being left out. You almost regretted asking. “Dads dead.” The two answered with a mixture of excitement and barely aged disbelief. You were suspended between high fiving Klaus and stroking your boyfriend’s back out of comfort. You had your own thoughts about the man, some unjust and the others completely dignified. But in the same thought, he brought you these dysfunctional idiots and that was enough to pay your respects for. The underlying emotion, however, was relief. No denying that collective emotion. Thinking around Ben’s persistent and absent minded tugs against your scalp, you tested the waters. “Should you guys be preparing funeral arrangements?” “Oh! My inheritance!” With a squeal, a flutter of sheets and unmentionables you really shouldn’t be use to seeing, Klaus was gone. You didn’t expect much out of him anyway. Beside you, Ben’s shuddered with a haggard sigh. He leaned gratefully into your palm as it roamed the plane of his back. Breathing more easily at the touch of your lips between his shoulder blades. He sought out your hand still lost in the wrinkled sheets, bringing it to his lips. “Guess should check in with the others?” Ben found it strange. The man they called ‘father’ put them through so much turmoil. Put him through so many horrors. And for what? Just to call himself king of the castle? They called him the monster. But Ben had experience enough to point out the real ones. But it was all over. Finally over And yet… “Oh, Ben..” He blinked past the tears in disbelief, eyes shining as he curled into your offered embrace. He was still their dad. 

“Hey,  I could buy my own mansion with this kind of money. You think Dave would like that?” You vaguely registered his words over the thick haze. Snuggled close to Ben, you were still trying to properly dissect what all had happened in the last twelve hours. The funeral had been a small affair, exclusively tightening around you as the sole outsider, purely by your longstanding devotion to Ben. It had been jaring at first. Seeing all the siblings in one place. Even Vanya in attendance. They were all living out their own lives, so close yet so far out of touch. For the most part, you’d been able to follow Allison on the tabloids. Vanya was a distinguished professor at the college of music, often having promotional concerts around the city. Diego was a little harder to keep track of, but Luther. Luther was about as impossible as a feat as still coming to terms with the fact that he lived on the moon. In all honesty, it had been the first time you’d set foot in the mansion. Ben had never wanted you to experience the drab lifestyle he’d grown up in. Beyond all the luxury and schematics, you were beginning to realize how many secrets the shadows held. It would have been a quiet event. Meant to be placed in the courtyard. The mismatched cohesiveness of it all was abruptly interrupted by the alert of an uninvited guest. Diego had rolled into action first, donning his mask with efficiency that made you question its origin. Ben had instructed you to stay behind him, and you stepped back the agreeable amount of feet should an occurrence like this ever arise. The echo of footsteps was slow and calculated. A confident gait that traveled with a sense of knowing. They grew closer, each one coiling the muscle of tension a thread tighter. Until a single man rounded the corner. One unfamiliar, yet so recognizable from the curl of his scowl. A disinterested Five, rolled his eyes at his less than seasoned battle ready family, clad in a button up and linen pants with a loose ringlet of tropical flowers around his neck. He took everyone in with vague disgust before rolling his eyes and tossing the petals aside, muttering audibly about getting the show on the road so that he could return to his estate.

“ So we’re not going to talk about how our brother basically ran away from home and built his own starter company on a private island based on the exploits of time travel?” Klaus’ exhale backfired at the end, the smoke rushed out with a sputter and accompanying coughs. Another time you might have shown more concern, but the shock still took heavily dosed in your body to process another emotion. Ben was equally as unconcerned, his chest pushing you briefly into a sitting position as he reached out to snatch the smoking roll of paper from Klaus’ strangled grip. Eventually Klaus recovered, breathing shakily as he registered the theft. “No, we’re not going to talk about the little imp.” A thick cloud of smoke curled around you as Ben spoke,” Not so little anymore.” “Fucking family,” Klaus quipped. “I hope he got cut out of the will.” You responded to a light tug of your chin, turning into the gesture to welcome your boyfriend’s lips against your own. With a part of his lips, Ben emptied the second drag of weed into your mouth. You sink down further into his hold, hanging onto the hazy cloud before releasing it with a relieved sigh. It really was therapeutic in a way you couldn’t quite comprehend or explore on your own. The feeling radiated with a pleasant warmth that curled your toes. You snatched it back before Klaus could, bringing it to your lips for a slow deep pull like you’d been instructed. Klaus meet your gaze with a twinkle of pride, happy to corrupt you even just a little bit. “When are the two of you going to get married so I can ask Dave?” It was your turn to choke on an inhale, to which Klaus grinned victoriously. Ben’s hand massaged your back, patting firmly behind the lungs. It was careful and coherent, so unlike the visible shock you were feeling. “Why do you have to wait for us?” Klaus rolled his eyes as he took the burning paper with a frown,” It’s only out of courtesy. I don’t have to. But since you bought the ring first…” “Klaus.”  Ben’s voice was sharper and more aware. The conversation doing the the same to your consciousness. Turning in his hold, Ben only fought your attempts shortly before giving up. Both of your eyes were thinly laced but slowly gaining coherency. “You bought a ring?” Ben mumbled around the touch of your fingers against his lips, nibbling unintentionally with each word. “I really don’t want to bring this up high and on the evening of my father’s funeral.” “And brother’s resurrection. Hallelujah!” Klaus added unhelpfully. But you were determined, hands gripping his chin this time as you kept his gaze on you. “You want to marry me?” “Yeah, baby. I want to marry you.”

You’re twenty eight lying awake at 2 am on the day of your wedding. It wasn’t a restless sleep and neither of you were recovering from a bout of passion.

It was serene.

Quiet.

Much like it had been since Klaus moved out a year ago. Him and Dave had managed to sign on a townhouse just a few lots over. The prompt and wholly unexpected sighting of ghosts encouraging a hasty move from the last occupants.

They were engaged now, well into their own plans.

Everyone was back in town.

Allison with shared custody of Claire. They were staying with Luther for the weekend.

Diego has promised to show up in a proper suit for once. Bow tie and all. A cute detective ( who he definitely was not dating )as his plus one.

And then there was Five and his mysterious wife Delores.

No one was even tempted to unpack that enigma.

You roll onto your side and ride to your elbows. Ben’s eyes are closed but his breathing isn’t deep enough for sleep. You test your hypothesis with a short kiss that he lengthens with a smile.

The arm resting under you, curls up around your waist,” Still not sleepy?”

You hum in response, “it’s helping me remember this isn’t all a dream.”

Ben strokes your cheek with a laugh,” We’ve been living the dream for the last fifteen years.”

You weave your fingers together,” Fifteen huh?”

He buried his face into your neck and the two of you inhale together. There are less than six hours left before you’ll be separated for the majority of the day. Allison had been firm on her schedule, looping your mother and other bridesmaids in without complaint.

Five planned to pay for everything. Whether it was out of apology or simply because he could mattered not to Ben who agreed without a blink.

“It felt like a fantasy when I first saw you. Glad we never woke up.”

You go to kiss his nose and he turn in just the right way to capture your lips.Its a slow kiss, one to travel across the years and a few more for the future.

“I love you.”

After a decade of trials, the thirties certainly aren’t smooth but its a better set of challenges. You learned a new part of Ben’s heritage when your first pregnancy resulted in not one but two babies.

The two of you had been swept into a reasonable amount of panic. It was one thing for first-time parents to prepare for a single child, but twins?

Ben had been told to save his other hand for the second child during labor, he hadn’t expect to nearly lose both in the same day. But he’d been your pillar through the whole ordeal, stroking the wet cloth across your forehead and murmuring encouragement over your explicitness.

He was really really glad you weren’t Allison that day.

Thinking about it made him wonder what kind of hell erupted on Claire’s birth.

Raising twins wasn’t impossible but it wasn’t a walk either. More like a casual collection of jobs with a few stumbles along the way. In terms of proper parenting, there was a bit of a deficit between both of your experiences but there was a bold consensus to make up for misgivings on both sides.

Klaus turned out to be more of a help than either of you had expected. But then again, neither of you had anticipated Dave’s arrival into his life either. The two were well into their own marriage now and at the top of the uncle list.

You both watched them now, tucked under each other on the porch while your children drug their uncles through the snow. It was early enough for the snow to still be considered fresh and the coffee to be mildly ineffective. You watch the steam roll from your mouth, hissing on the inhale.

You decided to give the little group another five minutes before calling it in. It was all fun and games until you had a house full of sniffles and icky coughs. You were already thinking of whether to entice them with pancakes or french toast this morning.

“If I wasn’t so worried, I’d leave them out here with them and go back inside,” Ben grumbled lowly behind you. He’d returned back inside for a fresh cup of coffee.

You want to laugh but a yawn comes first,” Then we’d be taking care of four sick kids.”

“Daddy, come help me please!”

Ben tries to hide the smile, but that kind of grin is impossible to subdue. You know from experience. All fight leaves his body, and likely the rest of his warmth as he hands over his cup after one last long sip.

You’re pleased to still see half left as you steal a few sips for yourself.

[aylawendaucourt]

The Letter Within: Part 6 : End

Sweat trickled down her forehead sliding down the nap of her neck as her violet eyes stared at the stone wall in concentration as she reached inside the large saucer-like bowl, her hands trembling; waiting to grasp something. It shimmered with silvering liquid shifting with it’s mechanical insides whirling along into what seemed an infinite void of aether currents. This technology her father procured from, a source she wasn’t allowed to know, was to guide her to her brother’s soul swimming somewhere beyond, if it was still intact at all. She had tried five times before, and each time coming back with blue waves of this unknown energy that needed to be contained. It had eaten through her gloves, and now she was going in without any protection at all. She wasn’t sure exactly what this energy was, since it didn’t feel...quite like the aether she was used too. So, she placed it inside a lantern container to keep it for study later.

It had been four grueling months in Kugane’s housing district in the dark basement of one of her father’s many vacation houses. Trae was still inside his incubating tube machine, which she knew just about as much as she did with what her father told her.

“Just create the potion, you don’t need further details then that, and make it so it can be taken not by mouth but through here.” he had motioned towards a tube that connected to Trae’s bloodstream, so it had to be strong enough to bring him back, but not strong enough to blow his veins to smithereens.

Her hand was starting to tingle and a soft electrifying burning was starting to fester at the tips of her fingers. How was she suppose to know if she found him? Would Trae's soul attach like a morbel sapling to its mother? Would his soul feel...cold like his death or warm like his radiant smile?

Her hand was starting to feel numb, so she gave a deep sigh of defeat and started to slowly pull her hand back. It felt like slimy tendrils that had woven their way around and inside her and she shivered with disgust as they slid out. It felt as if it didn't want to let go of her.

Don't. Stay. He is waiting. Don't leave. We want you here.

It got easier to extract her arm the closer it got to the surface, and so the urge to dive in was lessened as well. She straightened herself properly inspecting her arm. It was surrounded in a blue fire or smoke-like energy as it had been when she took it out with her glove. This time however it was coming instead from her skin instead of the surface. As if she absorbed some of it; retained it. It was...a dull ache and she needed to release it somehow, and it seemed the longer it stayed within her the more it started to feel as if it was ripping her skin open in small slices. She willed it from her hand and to the lantern, but it was full! Shite...SHITE!

Aylawen was beginning to panic and she tried shaking the energy off to dissipate it, but there was nothing, it clung to her like a pudding onto garbage. Her heart was starting to throb as it started to spread to her elbow and she knelled down clutching her chest tightly. Calm down..calm...figure this out.... she repeated as the blue smokey energy made its way to her shoulder.

A sharp pain pierced her chest and she gasped sharply. Aylawen swayed and fell on her side as her vision darkened. A vision came into view through the darkness.

She knew this chilled feeling and the atmosphere of this stone fortress...it was Falcon’s Nest. And there she was...running headlong towards her one and only crush and dearest childhood friend.

He was keeping her heart...her whole being together in that strong embrace, while she could hear his breathing become labored and his tears fell onto the top of her head. She did not know it at the time, but he knew well before the family got word of Trae what had happened. He had given her a soft kiss of condolence, and then moved her back away from him. The grief, the sorrow, the hopelessness, and the regret of that day she replays over and over of not letting him know how she felt, but he had just lost his best friend as she had lost a brother. The memory blurred as Aylawen walked away from Alexondre...never to see him again.

When she awoke she could see the room bathed in a soft blue glow created from a few hundred blue Gron Mhar carpeting the floor. They were resonating a faint musical bell-like tones. Summer Tree was the translation of the flower of Draviania, a flower that she had seen so many times and it reminded her of Alexondre, of her childhood.

Her whole body felt so weighted as she arose from the magical flower garden. She heard a loud knocking from the basement door and she called with a hoarse voice, “Come in!”

The footsteps were her fathers, and he had a glass globe with him, with that same blue aether energy. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the blanket of flowers. “What....is this?!” he exclaimed rushing down the final steps looking in amazement.

Aylawen explained what she had done and what the outcome was, but didn’t tell him of the memory when she passed out. He told her that was a great discovery, though he did not say of any reason behind why it was so great. He was keeping something from her.

“You need to go further, not just your arm...your whole body needs to go through to the other side, to find Trae.” he muttered feverishly as he walked around the technology pool with a manic expression on his face. He didn’t care for her safety as long as he got Trae back, but...neither did she.

This was the beginning of the end. Once the spherical silver pool was enlarged to fit her whole body after three weeks of these unusual mechanics working on it, she was pushed into it head first. She went in flying through Aether upon Aether path looking for Trae. She had lost track of how long she had been inside the endless void of shifting blue lights and black and white spirals. On her final will of trying to find him she found him. A small wisp of energy stuck in a spiral of white spheres. His voice reached her first before the warmth of his presence did.

“Ayla?!” It was...weak, but it was him. She found him. Her heart soared with relief and her eyes melted into tears. “I found you, brother. Halone, I found you!” Her hands grasped his soul with care as she willed herself back through the length of the Aether tunnel she came through.

When she got back to the living world three months had passed by the clock across the wall was the first thing she saw. Her stomach rolled as she took her first step onto the cold stone floor and feeling as if she was being constricted inside herself; being contained again. Focusing her vision back to Trae’s soul in her hand, she swiftly walked to the tube machine placing it gently into the container designed for it. As soon as he was safety inside she turned around her hair flying in all directions as she walked with purpose towards her father who had been going through the notes on her desk.

Her whole body had soaked up too much of the Aether, and she was radiating it like waves of electrified smoke. “I have returned.” she croaked. Her voice sounded like an echo of herself...as if she needed to come back...needed grounding. He had whorled around with a loud scream as he looked upon her terrified.

She grasped him sharply by the scruff and launched him away from the desk grabbing a few of her potion bottles in a flurry of motions her expression now panic. Have to make this now, before it’s to late, have to retain it a little longer. She knew what to do...she knew the equation to the long conundrum of how to bring a body back from death. Her head felt like it was going to explode, but her body knew what motions to do, how to make it, and how to execute whatever it was running through her mind. She placed it all within another larger cauldron mixing it quickly using the flames to flash boil the contents, then shoving the contents into the bottle container of the tube machine, placing the same energy within the bottle as well. Her expression softened as she saw the machine hum strongly at the new items.

“It is done. Leave us be.” Aylawen walked passed her crumpled father going up the steps in a trance as she headed outside, and towards the sea. It was night, and the air had the smell of spring again. The willow trees that once were bare were swaying full in the ocean breeze. Her father had followed her out watching as she walked further into the ocean his arms stretched forward though afraid to touch her.

“You have to tell me....how you did it! We have to recreate what you just did, viola!” he called after her his voice filled with desperation and anger. Turning around she gave him a blank stare, “I know we will. Until then, father.”

Instead of the sea taking her away to freedom, it was her father who had other plans. He took it away from her once again. A pain seared through her back as her father shot her with a potent paralyzing poison as his guards surrounded her, but they were dressed differently they were head to toe in black with lines of yellow blue glowing striping. Before she could do anything they had a large machine encase her. The faint blue glow of herself and the weak voice of her father were the only things she remembered before it went silent and dark.

[boneswriteswords]

Orc Boyfriend (Agron) 4+1

A/N: Hi, yes. I can’t stop thinking about Agron despite having at least 20 monster characters in my head waiting on me to write about them so maybe if I get it out I can move on.

So yeah. Here is more Agron. Enjoy. 

Also Varro and Cassur make appearances.

You also get a glimpse at Gnaeus, whom I mentioned in Varro’s story.

Look at me world building. 

The ending is shit

Also, unbeta’d af.

Four times Agron almost kissed you and the 1 time he did.

------------

The first time Agron almost kissed you, it was shortly after he had met you. He thought you were the cutest thing ever as you stumbled your way through an apology and felt the urge to be around you. All. The. Time.

That wasn’t weird right?

Right. (’Wrong,’ his subconcious whispered in his ear like the traitor it was)

 Anyway, shortly after your apology lunch, Gnaeus decided to throw a frat movie/game night.

“Ya know, to get the newbies acquainted with everyone and feel welcome,” he explained, grabbing a T-shirt off the floor and sniffing it to see if it was clean. 

Agron grimaced. He didn’t know how Gnaeus didn’t smell it but that shirt was definitely not clean. 

“You sure it isn’t because of...oh fuck...whats her face? That skinny brunette with the freckles and the shoulder tattoo?” Cassur asked, turning to Agron for confirmation as Gnaeus put the not-clean shirt on, “The one who poured the drink over your head?”

Fuck if he knew who she was. Agron didn’t really remember much of that party outside of ‘Y/N didn’t go and I am most definitely NOT pouting about it thankyouverymuch VARRO.’

Gnaeus scoffed, “Yeah. Sure. Its totally because of her” He paused, looking between Cassur and Agron, “....did she say anything about me?”

A laugh erupted from Cassur, “So what? You think that just because her cousin is a new recruit that he’s going to bring her to movie night and she’ll magically decide she isn’t repulsed by you and want to touch your no-no bits?” 

“Pfftt no.......maybe.”

Agron decided that if Gnaeus was going to let whats-her-face come to frat game-movie night, he was going to get you to come too. 

And he did.

And he sort of regretted it.

Because you had passed out on his shoulder half way through the third movie and he was not calm about it.  

Not even a little bit. 

“You okay over there, Agron?” Varro whispered, a smile creeping onto his lips as he eyed your sleeping form and the steadily growing look of panic on his big brother’s face. 

‘Help me,’ he mouthed, nodding his head to your sleeping form. Varro grinned wider, shook his head no, and stood up, “I’m going to bed. You...you deal with that, you gross lovesick bastard.”

He left the common area, making sure that Cassur, Gnaeus, and four other of his frat brothers saw his dilemma and left with him. If Agron was capable of movement, he’d get up and knock every single one of their stupid, mocking smiles off their stupid, mocking faces. 

He’d probably go a little harder on Varro. Probably break one of his tusks. Just because. 

You snuffled a little into his collarbone and suddenly, they didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you were close and you were so peaceful looking and your breathing was warm and shallow on his neck and wow his heart is beating really erratically, is this what a heart attack feels like?

No?

Its just nerves?

Ok.

Sounds like a lie but ok.

‘Ok Agron, you can do this. You can dislodge her and carry her to your room without waking her.’

He paused, flipping that thought around a bit because yeah, that sounded a little too rape-y for comfort.

‘Ok. You are going to pick her up, put her in a bed - which happens to be yours - and leave the room.’

Better. Still a little rape-y but its fine. Its ass o clock at night, its fine. He’s tired and she’s dead asleep and can’t read his mind, its fine. 

Following through turned out to be harder than he thought though. You did not like being moved when you were comfortable and made it very clear but after much negotiation between him and your unconsciousness, he managed to tuck you in. 

“Thank you ‘Gron,” you mumbled, cheek pressed into his pillow and he couldn’t stop the smile from forming. He kneeled next to the side of the bed closest to your face. 

“No problem Y/N. I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered back, stroking your cheek. He knew there was a chance you didn’t hear him but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that you were safe and tucked in and blissfully unaware of everything around you.

For a moment, he wondered what it would be like to be able to crawl up next to you. What falling asleep next to you would be like. What sleep tasted like on your tongue as you exchanged lazy, tired kisses. 

He didn’t realize he was leaning forward until his face was right next to yours and yeah its time he went to bed. 

‘You’ll just kiss her when she’s awake,’ his subconscious assured him as he crawled on the couch and promptly passed out. 

----

The second time Agron almost kissed you, you were not paying attention. No, in fact, you were too busy yelling at Cassur for...something or other. He hadn’t been listening. 

No, he had been focused on the fact that you, in your rage, decided that Cassur wasn’t taking you seriously enough and you needed to make yourself taller.

By climbing on him. 

You, in all your pajama clad, messy bun glory, climbed up his body, your feet digging into the meat of his hips, to lean over his shoulder in order to look Cassur in the eye while you yelled at him for whatever it was that Cassur had done to piss you off.

‘Probably breathed too hard in her direction if I had to guess,’ he guessed, putting his coffee down on the counter because the risk of spilling it and burning himself increased ten fold just being in the same room as you and Cassur. 

He could feel your warmth on his back, your fingers on his shoulders. Your scent drifted in his nose and he had to hold himself back from taking a really obvious inhale of it. 

Slowly, he angled his feet more apart so you had a more stable place to put your feet because it was only a matter of time before the position you had taken on him would get awkward. 

Turns out, he didn’t need wait too long because Cassur stomped away after five minutes of staring up into your angry face (Agron knew he was trying not to laugh but there was no way in hell he was going to let you know that) and you got down from his legs, mumbling all sorts of mean things about the ‘giant green bitch-face” and making faces at the door that he disappeared behind. 

He wanted to kiss you. 

If you had looked at him in that moment, he would have gotten all the courage he needed to make the move. 

But you didn’t. 

And he wasn’t brave enough to do it.

Not yet. 

---------

The third time Agron almost kissed you, he was in the middle of a crisis. He had just returned from celebrating Channukah with his parents and found out his uncle had cheated on his aunt. 

He was in a lot of distress.

So naturally, you showed up to his dorm with a six pack and a box of cannolis from the Italian place he liked and cuddled up on the couch with him while his entire world crumbled. 

“I just...cant believe it,” he murmured into your neck, “They had the perfect marriage. They always seemed so in love and I....I wanted to be like him. I just...I don’t know Y/N.”

You hummed, gently stroking the side of his face, “How did your aunt react? Is she ok? How’d your dad take it?”

“Yeah, she forgave him,” he sighed, taking a deep breath. Your scent filled his nose and he could feel the tension in his muscles evaporate. His whole body hurt. “I don’t know all the details but they...worked through it. I guess. It happened a while ago.”

You laid your head over his and stayed quiet. He wasn’t done, you knew it, and he was so thankful to have you in his life.

“Dad’s pissed. That’s his big sister. And she already has insecurities about the whole ‘not being able to get pregnant’ thing. But he isn’t doing anything about it right now. He wants to. I think we all do. But we wont because it’ll upset her.”

You nodded again, fingers never stopping their movements. 

“Y/N,” he pulled away from the comfort of your arms to look you in the face, “I just...I always looked up to him, ya know? He helped teach me everything I know about being a man. I thought that he was everything that men should aspire to be and now...now he’s not because he fucking cheated on my aunt and everything feels like a lie.”

He took another deep breath, reaching his hand out to take yours and thread your fingers together, “I just don’t want to end up doing the same thing to the person I love.”

‘I don’t want to end up doing that to you Y/N. You deserve better,’ he silently added, his gaze lowered to look at how your fingers looked next to his big, calloused grey ones and he decided he was going to dissect the fact he’s making that particular revelation on the same night hes questioning everything about everything he knows at a much later time. 

‘Or you just know that Y/N is the one thing that won’t change,’ the little devil on his shoulder argued. ‘She’s been the end game since you met her.’

“You won’t,” you whispered, stroking your fingers over his, “You won’t. You are just...too sweet and considerate. You couldn’t hurt someone intentionally if you tried. I mean, look at how busted up you are just thinking about it.”

He shifted his gaze away from your hands and his heart started pounding at how open and soft your face was. You were leaning against your hand, propped against the back of the couch, looking at him like he was all the good things in the world. He leaned back into you.

“Really?” he asked, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice. He felt rubbed raw, vulnerable and fragile. 

“Yeah,” you smiled, lips spread wide across your face and wow he wanted to kiss them, “Yeah, you could never.”

He shifted a little to stretch out the leg that had fallen asleep, and it was the wrong thing to do because you were moving away from him. 

‘No no no. Come back. I’m sorry I moved. I’ll move back. I’ll endure the pain, come back please.’

“I think its bed time Agron,” you said, stretching your body out beside him, “You could use a really a good nights rest. Its been a long night...and holiday season.”

A smile curled on his lips without meaning to, “Yeah, ok.”

----------

The fourth time Agron almost kissed you was at a music festival. Somehow, by some miracle, everyone’s schedules managed to line up so Agron took advantage and planned a weekend trip for everyone.

The entire group - Cassur, Gnaeus, Sya, Iliza, Creed, Nadia, Varro, Kyon, Phoebe, him, and you- rented two vans and drove down to the beach town where the festival would be taking place and spent three days and two nights celebrating life.

Most of the weekend was a blur, what with all the alcohol that flowed freely between everyone, but it was a good time. 

If Agron was honest with himself, which he 100% was and unashamed of it, your presence made it all the better for him. You really never had time to spend with him anymore, which he understood. You had a decent job, a bunch of school work, and an internship that took up most of your time and he was so proud of how hard you were working. 

But he missed you. He missed you so much it was almost stupid. 

But you made the time to come have a good time with everyone and he was thrilled. 

(Especially since he managed to snag the room you were staying in....and by snag, he means begged and pleaded with Iliza and Nadia to bunk with Varro instead in exchange for two very gross and embarrassing favors)

As it stood, this weekend was the best of his life. 

There was only one thing that could make it better.

“Hey! We need a group picture!” he announced as everyone rolled up their bed rolls and sleeping bags. Instead of staying inside the hotel, they all decided to camp out under the stars. They found a little remote clearing close to the beach and set up camp, talking and laughing all night as the music died down and the festival was packed up. 

“Fucking why?” Varro growled, his lip curled into a snarl over his tusk. Agron couldn’t help but smirk. Varro wasn’t pleasant if he didn’t get a full 8 hour rest and coffee was not available as soon as he woke up.

“Because I bet you anything that, aside from Nadia’s camera, all of the pictures we took on our phones are blurry as fuck. We should take at least one decent picture to remember this weekend.”

“You gotta point. Let me set up the tripod and hope that my camera is capable of syncing to my phone from out here,” Nadia interjected, shuffling with her pack.

You shuffled over to him, smushing your face into his side and mumbling ‘whyyyyyyy imtirediwannagohome’ into the fabric of his tank top. His smirk shifted into what he knew was a disgusting lovesick smile.

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because I said so.”

“You aren’t a dad. You don’t get to use that line.”

“I can and I’m gonna, fight me.”

“Maybe later.”

“Come on, it’ll take a couple seconds. Please?”

He pulled out the puppy eyes. You had a weakness for the puppy eyes on a normal day. You were powerless to resist them in your weakened state.

“Fine. You’re buying my Starbucks tho.”

“I can live with that.”

Nadia took 10 minutes setting up and adjusting her camera on her tripod and another 20 trying to get everyone together and in frame. A couple flicks of her fingers on her phone and she had at 30 pictures on her camera roll.

Only 5 of them were any good. 

(There were only 5 that everyone agreed they looked good in and were comfortable posting on social media.)

You didn’t move away from him after the pictures were taken. Instead, he felt you move closer, smushing your cheek into his side again as you looked up at him.

“I needed this. I had so much fun Agron. Thank you for inviting me,” you whispered, voice sweet and laced with lazy satisfaction. 

His heart clenched as he gazed down at you. You were glowing, contentment seeping our of your pores as you stole his body heat.

He shifted a little, wrapping his arm more tightly around you, his voice a tad too breathless to be normal, “I’m glad you came.” 

Your eyes drifted shut, stepping just a tad closer to him, and he knew that if he leaned down, his lips would meet yours. He could do it. Right now. While you were happy and sweet and snuggly.

He could always blame it on exhaustion if it ended poorly. 

He could do it. 

He was going to do it. 

He was going to (finally, finaLLY, FINALLY) put his lips on yours and kiss the lips he had been aching to feel on his for yeARS.  

 He was going to kiss you.

“AGRON! YOU LEFT YOUR NASTY ASS SPARKLE UNDIES IN THE CAR. REMOVE THEM BEFORE I BURN THE CAR!”

He was going to kill Gnaeus. 

---------

The one time Agron kissed you was in the living room in the apartment you shared with Cassur. 

He sat on his feelings for you for years, waiting for some kind of sign that you feel the same, that you’d want to give being a couple the chance that died when you saw Cassur kiss him. 

 A sign that couldn’t be misinterpreted as anything other than a reciprocation. Something that, no matter how hard he over-analyzed it, would always lead back to “she loves you too.”

And he’d wait for it, even if it meant he waited forever.

But it seems he wouldn’t have to. 

Not with everything that happened these last two weeks. 

Not with the way you were looking at him now.

Not with the way you said “ “I just…couldn’t pretend. Not with you.”

Especially not with the way your eyes lit up when he said “Who said anything about pretending?” and kissed you the way he had been yearning too for years. 

[number-one-hog-hater]

Trying to expand my list of movies that have made me cry tonight by watching brokeback mountain for the first time. Should I have my break down ciggy before or after.

[new-to-this123]

Butterflies

As per requested

Hi! Can you write a Justin Foley x Reader where him and the reader they have a really cute date at Rosie's?

i hope you like it and its what you wanted! :) 

Justin Foley X Reader

Warning: none 

word count: 1743

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moving to a new school at the middle of your sophomore year sucked. Everyone had known each other forever and here you were, the new girl. You hated it. You were so mad at your parents for taking you away from your best friends in Canada and taking you to another country all together. You were hundreds of miles away from the friends that you'd known since preschool.

“Y/N wake up honey you don’t wanna be late for your first day” your mother said softly shaking your sleeping body.

“Urg im up” Y/N gronned.

You got up and tried to decide what to wear. Dress? Nope. Skirt? Nope. Everything you tried on, you hated. After ten minutes of trying on a variety of clothes you settled with a black pair of skinnies and a blue lace up tank top. You walked downstairs, kissed your parents goodbye and headed out, to walk to school.

What a school. A real life american school. You had seen them on Tv, but never in real life. You were hoping that it wasn't as bad as the high schools you and your canadian friends had seen on tv. What a big school. You walked up the stairs leading to the door. You could see and feel all the eyes on you. You really disliked it.

“Heey new girl, come here” you heard someone yell. You turned around to see a group of guys all wearing white and blue lettermans. They all looked at you waving you over. You walked over to them slowly, not sure if it was a good idea. As soon as you got there, a blue eyed boy, with brown hair and the sexiest smile you've ever seen, caught your eye. He was also the first one to talk.

“Where you from cutie?” the blue eyed boy asked

“Canada” you replied smiling at him

“Wow what brings you here? To liberty?” another blue eyed boy, with very prominent cheekbones asked you.

“Wow these guys are so hot” you thought to yourself before replying sarcastically

“well liberty is the only high school in the area so thats why im here.”

“No shit.. He meant what brings you to town” a tall brown eyed brown haired beauty asked you.

“Wow he's a jerk” you thought to yourself again.

“My dad owns a chain of stores and it brought us here to expand”

The bell rang signaling it was time to get to class. The first three periods went by, very, very slow. You sat alone in all of them. None of the guys you were talking to this morning were in your classes.  Now it was lunch time. you walked into the cafeteria and froze. “Wow this is just like an american high school” you thought to yourself looking around, at where you could sit.

“Hey new girl! Come sit with us” the sexy smile guy yelled at you from the other side of the cafeteria.

You walked over, and sat beside him.

“And my names Y/N Y/L/N. just so you can stop calling me New girl” you said looking at him.

“My names Justin. Justin Foley.” he replied giving you a killer smile.

“This is bryce, thats scott, thats monty, thats Zach, Thats jeff” Justin said introducing you to all the guys that were sitting at the table.

The rest of the day went by so fast. It was finally home time and you were just about to walk out of school when you felt a hand on your shoulder and heard “ hey Y/N can we talk for a second”

You turned around to see justin foley.

“Sure whats up justin?” you asked looking at him

“Uum. i was uh, i was wondering if you'd be, if you'd want to go on a date, with uh me” justin asked you nervously.

“Uh um sure. When?” you asked with a smile on your face.

“ how about tonight? I can pick you up, say, 7?” he says with a big smile on his face.

“Ok” you reply writing down your phone number

“Text me and i'll text you my address.” You smile walking away.

You sped walked home. You were so excited. As soon as you got home you ran to your room, went to your computer, and messaged your canadian friends.

Y/N: Omg you guys will never guess what just happened!!!! Rose:WHAT? I NEED DEETS NOW!!!! Sabrina: OMG WHAT??? Julia: WHAT?? Stop with the suspense!!!!!!! Y/N: The hottest guy in my new school just asked ME!!!! Out on a DATE!!! You read that right A DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sabrina: OMG I WANT TO KNOW EVERY DETAIL AFTER!!!!! Julia: EEEEEEEEK ME TOO!!!!!! Rose: ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO!!!

You got ready for your date. A cute little black dress, with your hair straightened and black flats. Yoiur phone buzzed multiple times

“Hey Y/N”

“its Justin”

“ i need your address”

“so i can pick you up”  

You gave justin your address and giggled to yourself. Roughly ten minutes passed when you got a text from justin saying he was at your house. You ran down stairs yelling “Bye mom, Bye dad” and rushed out the door.

When you got outside, you saw justin standing by a black suv with big head lights.

“Hey Y/N” justin said kissing your cheek then opening the passenger door. You got into the suv, and the blue eyed boy ran to the driver side.

“So where we going Justin?”

“ i was thinking Rosies. It's a diner. They have amazing milkshakes and fries and burgers” justin said looking over at you smiling his killer smile.

“haha i like all those things!” you replied laughing.

You got to rosies and you were in awe at how homey it felt.

“Wow we didn't have anything like this back home” you told justin.

“Ya rosies is great” he replies leading you to a booth.

You sat across from justin. You looked at the menu. Up and down. There was so many options. How were you going to make up your mind?

“Justin there's way too many options. Help me out” you asked over dramatically.

“ get a shake for sure. Classic chocolate is the best. And their cheese burgers are to die for.”

The waitress walked up to your table.

“ hello can i take your order?”

“ i'll get a chocolate shake and a cheeseburger please” you said

“ i'll get the same thing” justin answered, looking at you.  

The food arrived, you took a sip of your shake.

“Oh my god this is so good” you said with a smile.

“Now try the burger” justin replied holding up your burger so you could take a bite.

You took a bite and shook your head up and down.

“This is good.”

You were mind blown at how nice this guys was. Justin fed you your french fries as he asked you about your life in canada, your friends and of course, the stereotypes.

“ no justin we don't live in igloos. We live in houses”

“No we don't have dog sled, we have cars.”

“No its not snowy all the time we actually get four seasons”

It was amusing. He was a nice guy. He as very good with his words as well. A smooth talker.

“ you know you're smile is amazing. And you look very pretty tonight. i .. i mean you looked pretty at school too, but that dress. Wow! Stuuuuuuuning” he smiled and laughed

“And you look just as nice!”

Justin stood up and sat beside you in the booth.  He smiled as he placed his hands on yours.

You looked at your intertwined hands and blushed. You sat there, looking at each other, smiling.

“ you know we could be the next power couple of liberty” justin said as he winked.

“Power couple?” you questioned.

“Ya” justin said as he move a strand of hair behind your ear, biting his lip. You bit your lip, looking from his eyes to his lips. He leaned in slowly, cupping your face. Your faces were so close you could feel his breath on your lips. He closed the gap between you guys. Your lips touching, they were in sink right away. Almost like you were made for each other. The kissing continued before the waitress broke your moment.

“Is this together or seperate for your bill?” she asked

“Seperate” You said at the exact same time that justin said together.

You blushed even harder.

“ oh wow justin you don't have too” you told him

“Naw its ok. I'm not gonna take a pretty girl like you out and not pay.” justin answered you.

He paid for the bill and grabbed your hand as you got up from your seat. You walked out of rosies hand in hand. Justin leading you to the passenger door of his black suv. Before opening the door, he pushed you up against the car door, cupping your face, kissing you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back. The butterflies in your stomach went crazy. You kissed for a few minutes before he pulled away.

“I should probably get you home. I don't need your parents hating me on the first date.” Justin said as he opened the passenger door for you

“Just so you know, i don't have a curfew. Never have.” you replied as he drove off in the direction of your house.

Justin pulled up to your house. “Thank you for tonight” you said as you leaned against the middle compartment.

“No, thank you for joining me. And making my night amazing.” he replied leaning in closer to you.

Your lips touched again. He kissed you passionately. Like no one has ever kissed you.

“So do you wanna be my girlfriend?” justin asked between kisses.

You pulled away asking “ did you just ask me to be your girlfriend?”

“yes . i did. I had great time tonight. And you're a great girl and i can be myself around you. And i like you.” justin told you as he grabbed your hands.

“ yes haha Yes ok i'll be your girlfriend” you said leaning in to kiss justin. He kissed you back.

“I'll see you tomorrow.” you said to him between kisses. You kissed a few more times before you opened the passenger door and walked out, waving to your new boyfriend as he waited for you to get into your house before driving off.

[everly-kindred]

Eve’s Diary - Entry #52

Date: 7th of March, 2027

Dear Diary, 

Alright, I’ve procrastinated too long, and now I have far too much to catch you up on. So, no time like the present! 

Firstly, we had quidditch practice yesterday. Nate gave us a pep talk, and I was certain he was going to announce my removal from the team. Turns out, Cheryl is being removed as beater and Verity is taking her place. You can’t imagine how relieved I was! And Sam and Tal and… well, all of them were so encouraging, I ended up feeling a bit better by the time the meeting was over. Like a weight was lifted. 

I think the biggest thing that’s happened in the past two weeks (which is impressive because a LOT has happened) is a recent vision I had. It’s really hard to explain because… it seemed like it came from a different time? And it had the… well… he-who-shall-not-be-named in it… The dream was scary and I saw people die in it but I feel weird about it like… I don’t want to believe it was real? Like when I woke up, I felt like I had watched one of the muggle movies my dad likes… I wrote down what all I saw so I wouldn’t forget.

First I started out in an abandoned building, and it was storming outside (my dreams don’t normally have weather so this was an inclination that it was more than just a dream.) I had a really nice wand made by… some famous wizard wand maker who isn’t Olivander. His name started with a G, I think. I had a tattoo on my wrist - a skull with a snake. And it burned like I was holding my arm over a candle. I’m not sure what the symbol meant but I figure it has something to do with you-know-who. I think I might try to find some answers in a history book. 

Anyways, I was like… sneaking around this house. I was super tense. And I heard a sound like a snake rolling around on the floorboards, which I’m not sure is a sound I’ll forget any time soon. Down a hallway I saw three people around this figure. I remember one of them saying a name that sounded like ‘Crawl-lee’ and the voice greeted them as a friend. And then these really bright, red eyes stared at me from the darkness, and I thought I was going to die right there! 

There was this woman who looked positively mad. She had a mane of tangled hair and I swear her teeth were black. She whispered to the red-eyed figure to kill ‘him’ but then someone shouted for her to be quiet. And then that someone stepped into the light and… he didn’t even look like a person, truthfully! He didn’t have a nose and his skin was as pale as snow. He had no hair and he... Was the one with the red eyes. 

He had what looked like very expensive robes and I saw that his hands had long nails, and he had an odd looking wand… And then a large snake appeared next to him. Bigger than any snake I’ve ever seen! And it had the same red eyes as that… ‘man’ did. 

And then he started speaking to me. He called me a name that sounded like… Er-razz-mus and asked why I didn’t come when he called. And then ‘I’ started talking, though I suppose it wasn’t really me after all. I said that I was still loyal and could explain, but this… person with red eyes and a voice like ice didn’t seem to like that very much at all. Whoever I was portraying, they were very afraid.

Apparently whoever I was, used to be in contact with the head auror, I suppose double-crossing he-who-shall-not-be-named, and hid when he called for his followers. I tried to beg and reason, explaining I was scared. They talked for awhile, words I can’t remember, and then the snake-like-man he the man (whoever I was supposed to be) towards him, and it was like I wasn’t him anymore and I was instead watching, like a movie. 

The man had blue eyes, specifically, the same shade as Ruby’s. They reminded me a lot of him. Ultimately, however, whoever’s eyes I was looking through, was killed. ‘The reward for treachery is death.’ You-know-who told him.

I saw some other images. Blue eyes, specifically. Odd images of the ocean and the forest. Creepy images that sort of stick out more than anything, and sounds I can’t forget. Someone asked aloud if I… or whoever, was still faithful to the cause. What cause, I couldn’t say. I imagine it had to do with you-know-who. 

I remember… seeing Vikander, too. Him and others, sort of surrounded by this evil green magic. I saw a courtroom of some kind, and more blue eyes. And then I was inside of that courtroom, watching someone’s trial happening. Someone named… Ugh, I don’t know how to write these names. ‘Eee-gore’ or ‘Eye-gore.’ I forget. Anyways, he was a… death eater, and was giving names of other secret death eaters to avoid having to go to Azkaban. One of the names was a Mordushku… Ah-gron. I want to ask Ruby, because I don’t remember which one that is… I think I saw in the papers that he was the one who died recently? So he might be his guardian. I won’t ask him though. Seems like a sensitive topic. Maybe it means something, though. 

There were whisperings of power and gifts from another male voice, not the same one as he-who-shall-not-be-named.

And then the blue eyed man cast the killing curse at me, and I sort of… drifted. I was there but I wasn’t. And then the cold voice came back, and summoned his snake. ‘Nah-gee-knee,’ he called it. ‘Dinner,’ he said. And as the snake opened its mouth to swallow me whole… I woke up. 

I had trouble sleeping after that dream… or vision, I suppose. I wrote both of the headmistresses about it. I didn’t have any more nightmares after that, though. Well, for the most part, anyways. In divinations we had a sort of… meditation slumber party. We all came in our pajamas and Gall had turned the room into a giant blanket fort with stuffed animals and tents and pillows and blankets everywhere. Aures and I shared a tent. I didn’t really dream that night but there were… flashes of memories. Fires and burning. Rubble. Blue eyes again, I think? And I think there were dementors there, too...

But, aside from that, I’ve mostly been dreaming my usual dreams - though there have been an awful lot of frogs in my dreams lately. I’ll have to remember to ask Gallo what frogs mean. 

Eventually, Headmistress O’Keeffe wrote me back and then I met with Blightly. Blightly’s office is very much like a dollhouse, with victorian furniture and pink walls and curtains! We spoke about dollhouses a little, and then she showed me how to extract a memory. 

I put my wand to the tip of my forehead and thought very hard about the vision, and eventually pulled it out of my head for her. It looked like silvery clumpy strands of… sort of hair? Suspended in water. We put it in a vial so that she could know what I saw. I feel like she and O’Keeffe could deal with it far better than I could. 

There’s been a lot of whispering about the forest, and about some students apparently having gone into it. The castle doors have been closing very early now, because of it, which has made me feel more shut in than before. I suppose it’s just as well, though, spring isn’t quite here yet. 

There have been other strange things happening, too. Like… I saw Bonnie and Persephone fight! And I haven’t gotten to speak with either of them about what happened. Persephone slapped Bonnie and I watched and just felt so… powerless and small. I wanted to scream at them to stop. I absolutely hate fighting. 

There were some positive things, though, especially with classes and such. Last week’s Hufflepuff meeting, we all drew with giant crayons, and Priaulx announced that Roisin would be one of our new prefects. And she wanted us to do a random act of kindness in the castle. I’m sad I didn’t really think to do anything… But anyways, this past weekend though, we did tarot readings. I was so sleepy, I couldn’t focus. I do want to do a large tarot reading though, and get back into the habit of doing smaller, daily ones. I feel like it’s been awhile. 

One night, I went into the library, and I guess someone had cast limbo mist because I felt all floaty and clung to the door. Talula helped me down, but I didn’t realise it was real life at the time, and was talking about how I thought I was in a dream. Tal sort of played along and helped me by convincing me that if I did as she said, I’d save Christmas. It was very silly and I was… very embarrassed. 

One of our herbology classes, the pots were enchanted to talk, and one pot confessed it’s love to Tilly because she was kind to it, I suppose. It was very funny, I couldn’t stop laughing! And then in a different herbology class, we talked about this plant that sounded like ‘cowplant’ which I thought was a… well there’s a muggle video game in which there’s a thing called a cowplant which is like a big stalk with a cow’s head on the end, and it has a tongue that looks like cake and will use that to try to lure you into its mouth! Anyways, thankfully this was not that plant, and as far as anyone knows, that plant doesn’t exist in real life. 

And then in another herbology class, we dealt with two plants - niffler’s fancy, which we just looked at and admired (it’s a very pretty plant that looks like it’s made of copper) and puffapods, which we had to try to… milk the seeds out of? Anyways, I couldn’t do it delicately enough, so the seeds kept exploding on my hands and making flowers grow on them. Dracheblume gave us all our own bags of puffapod seeds since spring is coming and they’re sort of a harmless prank thing. I haven’t used mine yet - I’m saving them for the right moment! 

I met a very pretty (I didn’t tell him that, of course) gryffindor student named Misha Edwards. He has this really soft, long blonde hair, and I… think I just like it a lot when boys have long hair. And when girls have short hair! But yeah, he was very… hard to not look at, but I sort of had to force myself not to stare because staring is rude and I’d probably die on the spot if he thought I was some sort of weirdo stalker. 

Anyways, he seemed very nice. I think he’s a little older than me, probably a year or two above me. He seemed shy, too. I want to get to know him and be his friend, but I might have to be… less shy myself for that to happen. We’ll see! I hope he doesn’t think I’m just some dumb first year… 

I actually met him by bumping into him because I wasn’t paying attention! I knocked him over and lost my book. I think I was reading The Wind in the Willows but I don’t really remember… Anyways, I must stop losing track of myself! I’m all over the place right now… My mind feels all tangled up. Where was I…

Oh, right. I met him by bumping into him and knocking him over. Marigold ended up keeping me from falling down, but he went face first into the ground. It was horribly embarrassing. And then Talula showed up and we all went to Vikander’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class which he held in the long gallery that day. We all dueled! Misha and Talula dueled, and I dueled with Aures. It was my first duel, I think?! If I remember correctly. Anyways, she won once by lifting my wand out of my hand and over my head, and then I won afterwards doing the exact same thing. We did some other spells, of course, but that was what had ended our duel. 

Speaking of dueling, I joined the inter-house dueling club, and I got a new badge and uniform for it, too! So now I have three badges, and I… sort of want to keep joining clubs, just so I can keep collecting badges. And to ‘broaden my horizons’ of course, but still…

Anyways, in the dueling club, Talula and I dueled. She ended up winning, which is no surprise of course, but I was embarrassed anyhow. I want to get better… I need to improve my dueling skills, my spellcasting, and my seeking. I’m trying so hard but it just… isn’t enough. I wonder if this is how every first year feels. 

I think it was that same day that I had Care of Magical Creatures, and the professor had brought in Jarvies. One of the Jarvies made fun of a drawing I was working on, and was just so… mean about! And I got upset, which is dumb. The professor ended up keeping me after class to talk to me about it, and she sort of cheered me up a little. I’ve just been feeling so… hopeless lately. Like nothing I do is good. So I guess the Jarvey being mean to me was just the… straw that broke the thestral’s back. 

It just feels like there’s not enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do, and to improve my skills. What if I’m never good enough? I wish I didn’t have to sleep and could stay up all night instead of wasting those hours... 

There were some other things that actually motivated me, though, aside from Nate’s pep-talk. I spoke to Professor Reuter after Magical Theory, because we’ve been talking about wands, and he said that he believes it could be possible for a crystal wand to function as a real wand (though we had a small debate about what classifies as a wand - I argued that it’s a stick like object to channel your magic, so he told me that he agrees and that crystal wands would likely have to be specified as crystal wands specifically so as to avoid confusion from buyers) and that if I managed to do it, I’d be the first ever to create such a thing. I’ve been dreaming about a functional rose quartz wand since last year, as you know! 

And on the topic of making things, Aures and I were discussing noises we like and I had the idea of a music box that was enchanted to make any sound you wanted! If I could make those, I’d make music boxes that sound like… Well, I have a list. 

Clocks ticking, thunderstorms, swords drawn, windchimes, fire crackling, a babbling brook… Probably some others, too, if I sat down and really thought about it. But these are sounds I like, so I could make, like, a song out of these sounds and have a music box play it! Or the music box could play individual sounds, like the thunderstorm or the babbling brook. That’d be really nice to have in the dorms, I think. Sometimes it’s hard to sleep with other people in the room. 

Aures and I were also talking about our homes, and I was wondering what spring in my new home would be like. Spring in the Forest of Dreams… Is it like my old home, busy and loud, or is it quieter… more secluded? I’ll have to write dad and Genevieve to ask. Speaking of! She got three new rats to live with Venus, and apparently they’re all a happy, chaotic family. I can’t wait to meet the other rats when the semester ends! 

That is pretty much everything from the past couple weeks. My wrist hurts real bad and I only have a little bit of free time left before classes start. I might catch a quick nap in the common rooms. I’m already all showered and dressed. 

Much love, Everly

[ Eve’s Wiki Page ] 

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[lanceamormcclain]

"Its fine not many people can't do both theses days."adamn smiles at shiro."Your dad was a big mess asking me out,he stuttered over his words...but he is a big sap."shiro grons in his arms."I was 17,of course i was a mess."

redhotdefender

Max looked at the waiter up and down. His mouth hung open before he found himself staring. “C-Can I have you?” He said before he stopped himself, clearing his throat, “I-I mean! Your house special.”

Shiro facepalms at max while Adam covers his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh out.”Sorry, cute stuff~This is not on the menu but the special is~”Lane winks at him, laugh softly before taking everyone’s order, not after giving max his phone number before leaving.

[mnovenia]

LIVING IN Another FOREIGN LAND

Haiya! In 5 days, it’ll remark one month of me living in ‘another’ foreign land. Why does it feel like forever? 

Apparently, as much as its easier to adjust here (since I already lived in Gron), it still have some new challenges. I don’t know any other Indonesians accept Fysa, not living in an ‘Indonesian’ home, noone in the church is Indonesian and some other things.

I promise myself I will make the most of my time here in the UK, but so far I don’t think I have made a lot of progress. Idk how did measure, but it just feels the way it is. But one thing I’m sure of, God is up to something by placing me here.

Imagine that I only have 3 days of schools (2.5 to be exact), so I’m totally not busy compared to my Indo life (so obvious) and even my life in the Netherlands. But, there are so so so many extra activities I can choose (sport, photography, and a lot lot lot of spiritual activities). I was so frustrated at first to not be able to work/do some volunteer job (even I don’t anyone to pay me)/join a competition, and whatsoever that involve making money/putting some activity lists on your CV. I was like: why in the world did I born with Indo passport? I can’t even enter Ireland. I basically have not so much to do in terms of growing my potential job in the future. 

In the midst of trial (read: sepeda rusak, dingin sepedaan, unfulfilling school & relationship with other human being), I coba-coba pake dating apps, perhaps it’s a good idea, perhaps God wants me to try harder, UHUH (you think?). It is never a good idea for me personally to do smtg like that, I always feel guilty after I use/subscribe/post/chat or whatever I do with whoever I met through the apps. Ky gak etis aja geto masa ya ketemu nya begitu, like gak tipe gw banget lah.. 

Tapi dipikir-pikir, daripada sepi amat, coba aja deh.. lagian cape ky gini terus, jadi org Indo miris amat di mari, mungkin Tuhan mau gw gausa holy2 amat, sedeng2 aja lah cukup.. David-Victoria Becham aja sah2aja, bisa2 aja menjaga hubungan (YAKALEE MAS/MBA2 sekalian gw samakan case wa sm mreka2 ntu), yang penting cita-cita nikah dan settle tinggal di luar negeri tercapai, aka jalan pintas utk mendapat kewarganegaraan.. Sampe berhub sama 1 orang, kirain doi sayang Tuhan karena sekolah teologi.. abis WA an gw hapus lah tuh sgala apps2, gw pikir uda dapet 1 yawda ah, cukup.. mulut manis bner juga ni orang, hobi yaa lumayan sama, tipe2 anak ansos.. I quite enjoy it for sometimes, walaupun tau kynya dia gak love the bible but just like to learn/curious.. and ended up dia kasih bible verse tentang Songs yang MENJIJAYKAN ABIEESHHH menurut gw.. bikin fiuh2 sampe cengo and gak percaya, like mo gila sambil muntah.. Dia juga selalu avoid hard questions, which menurut gw harusnya di encounter sebagai laki-laki beneran yang at the end of the day memang harus berhub dgn kesusahan2 itu.. trus he’s so local, ga mau keluar negeri buat exchange, gak suka football (sulit nih kan)..

Sbenernya kadang seneng juga ky ada temen ngobrol, I got a lot of compliments, dan ky ada harapan untuk nanti pas balik ke Gron. Tapi at the same time, not being able to share my faith and talk about God with someone is torturing me, makes me even feel lonelier karna the rest of the convo is just superficial aja, not based on the truth.. so banyak negatifnya kalo I pikir-pikir.. 

Pokoknya abis kejadian WEDEZIGGG itu (najis tralala mas lu gilak kali ngom itu gw, ketemu aja belom, rasa pgen gw injek2 tu manusia) gw langsung confront kenapa dia harus kasih verse itu, and gw bilang its so EWW to me, tapi ya biasa laki-laki, NGELESS!! Pokoke alhasil gw kapok and bilang jujur that I have no peace to talk to you again (until you truly love Jesus and doing His mission in your life), and I don’t wanna waste time but make the most of my time here. THANK YOU GOD FOR NOT INVOLVING ME TOO LONG IN THIS TORTURING ‘relationship’ and making me brave to speak the truth.. 

Abis kejadian itu gw langsung KHILAF, gw tau following Jesus is a big deal and gak main-main.. sampe kapan pun He will never stop pursuing me and He will prevent me to less honoring Him. So I get out, I come again to iCafe, explore course, join a trip with new friends, and it’s incredible to feel that God provides me all these platforms for my faith to grow.. On Sunday I tried to come to a new church, but somehow I didn’t feel like God call me to be there. After 5mins, I cepet2 kabur and cycle straight back to HT (I found it quite difficult to blend in with the people there sometimes, idk where to start) and it feels right again.. 

Liat young pastors who love the love so much and very devoted, paling gabisa deh wa.. lemah... pgn nangess.. plus denger cerita Michelle about ‘the guy’ who loves the Lord so much and working so hard with the youth and very missional, and stil available, it’s driving me crazy (in a positive way).. 

Maybe all I have to do now is trying to commit with one church and community without expecting anything back from the people, but just to be there to Serve Him and His people, bring someone to come to know Christ, contribute to testify what I experienced with Jesus in explore course and with that I’ll be secured that I’m not wasting my time here in the UK, but I know that He’s pleased because I’m certain that I am God’s beloved forever, no matter what people think of me, no matter what achievement I have made, no matter how I look like I’ve done nothing in front of people’s eye, no matter gw kliatan kek manusia dari mainland cina -__- HAHA.. nerima aja the fact that I gabisa kerja and can’t do much to secure my future in EU, but trust in God like seriously put trust because He has all things figured out, those that my eyes can’t see now..

Bible verse from Gal 1-2 (take away):

Does your life reflect your gratitude for being rescued by Jesus’ blood? Have you transfered your loyalty from this world to Jesus?

A twisting truth is more difficult to spot than an outright lie. Some people claim to follow Him, but they deny that Jesus’ work on the cross was sufficient. 

There will always be people who pervert the Good News, either they dont understand or they’re uncomfortable with the truth as it stands. If the teaching does not match the truth in God’s words then it’s not true, for the truth of the gospel never changes.

Whose approval are you seeking? Pray for the courage to seek God’s approval above anyone else. 

When Paul met Jesus, his life changed forever. God knows you intimately, He chose you to be His even before you were born (psalm 139).

Our new life might not be dramatic, but still our new lives should honor God in every way. When people look at you, do they recognize that God has made changes in you? If not, perhaps you are not living as you should. 

While we wait for God’s timing, we should continue to study, learn and grow. 

SEKIAN, WASALAM dan THANK YOU JESUS, I LOVE YOU!

[floral-bedspread-blog]

Rockaway Beach (1/10 2017)

Of course I chose the first cold day of autumn to travel to Rockaway Beach. i wore a sundress with tights and a new jeans jacket I had bought the day before. The temperature didn’t bother me, after growing up  in Sweden I felt my body could handle anything. 

I looked out over the roaring sea from the shuttle. I wanted to find Pattis Alamo, just to see it from a far. A difficult task as I had no idea what it looked like, other than an old picture from the pages of M train. The book weighed down my bag, together with her newest release, Devotion, which I was yet to read. I had hoped to head it by the sea but I realised, for the safety of its pages, that I might have to find a cafe away from the rain.

I decided to stay on the train until the final stop. The houses we passed amazed me, they resembled those of an english village with the scars of hurricane Sandy still visible under sheets of plastic. This was the most at home I had felt since I got to New York City. As I gazed, the rain started to happier even harder at the shuttle windows. 

I walked along the boardwalk alone in the rain, admiring a few brave surfers in black wetsuits tackling the harsh winds. I looked over the buildings and imagined hurricane Sandy throwing herself over the helpless brick walls. There was a closed down home for boys, covered in graffiti. Next to it, an abandoned basketball course. 

I attempted to find Alamo around 96th street, where I imagined it might be. Obviously I was without luck and soon I was walking back along Rockaway Blv until I found a small Irish pub. The owner and bartender welcomed me as I arrived I found a seat in the corner next to an elderly man he bought me a beer and told me a story about how he had gron up in Rockaway, he told me stories about his childhood in Rockaway. Then he left without telling me his name.

His eyes carried the same sadness as my fathers.

I sat reading Devotion in my corner when another man walked in. His skin looked scolded and he had a new scar all along his right jawline. The stitched were black and bold on his red skin. I had never seen a man like him, he looked dangerous and kind all at once. After a while he sat down next to me and paid for another beer. The bartender, an American of Irish decent who took great pride in his heritage, served us two pints of perfectly poured guiness. 

The man told me about hurricane Sandy. He explained how people got burned to death as the houses burned, and many of those who didn't burn drowned in the floods. He said that he had seen a house on fire and dived through the smoke before his mind could make up a rational thought. He managed to single handedly pull out six people from that building, all who would’ve faces a certain death hadn’t he saved them. He spelled his name out to me twice, to make sure I’d remember to google it. 

“I have a strong will to live” he said. “And a strong will for others to live, too. I was never married. I never had children. I fully devoted my life to living and I travelled all over the world, saving many lives and I’ve served the people.” He paused for a moment and looked at the live band in the corner. They went from singing Bob Dylans  Shelter from the storm to Simon and Garfunkels America in a perfect transition. The singer was old and his eyes seemed to hold the same sadness as all old med in this bar. 

“They’re all looking at you because you’re the prettiest thing Rockaway has seen since the bathing season.” the man sais and smiled. “But they don’t know what I know, that you’re a lovely young woman who’ll to great things. Greater than they ever could dream of. Your hazel eyes will take you anywhere because you can look through them and see the world as it is. Just remember that everything has a price. I travelled across many deserts in the sun, and now they’ve cut away half of my face because I have skin cancer. You can only miss out on the good things in life, the bad come to you anyway.”

He shook my hand and asked for my name before he wondered off. Stopping by the door he turned back and asked, “are you a writer?” “I’m an artist” I said. He smiled and said “good” before walking out the door.

“We’ve all gone to look for America...”