#nvm hes chasing a fly

[zimzshite]

dummmppp

[lovekz]

turn up friday

syn -> it’s rindou’s birthday, and you make sure he smiles at least twice today

warnings : slight angst to fluff, rindou is a birthday princess, ran is a travel model, a bit of dark humor, rindou and ran have a leopard gecko named freya, a bit suggestive

note : happy birthday to rindou! ts is so late and short tho i swear

-

the clock hit twelve, signaling the beginning of a new day.

a very special day.

it was now rindou’s birthday, and he was sitting at his kitchen counter.

in silence.

for the first time in years, rindou has gone into his birthday in an empty home.

no friends to come see him, no brother to smash five different cakes in his face.

nothing.

but him and his lizard.

freya, her name was.

it was a gift from him to ran for his birthday, but he gave it back when he would go overseas.

so freya was with him 90% of the time.

rindou sighed quietly in frustration, lifting himself to his feet and making his way to his room.

humming the tune to ‘happy birthday’ with freya’s fast little legs chasing behind.

before he could make it his doorbell rang about 5 times at once.

rindou pauses in his steps, before resting his hand on the floor.

freya climbs up his arm and rests on his shoulder.

he walks to the front door and opens it, eyes widening immediately.

“happy birthday!” you practically scream, holding dozens of bags.

and that was so you.

screaming when everyone was well into their beds asleep.

it only happened when you were really excited to see your boyfriend though.

rindou couldn’t even stop his smile.

“what are you doing out so late by yourself? come in.” rindou says, tugging you in.

not hard enough for freya to fly off his shoulder.

you place the bags down onto the counter, refusing to let rindou touch any of them.

it was his birthday, you didn’t mind doing the work for once.

“I can’t let you be by yourself in your birthday, honey. it’s bad enough you went into it by yourself.” you sighed, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

rindou’s heart swoons immediately at your words.

he knew you probably rushed over here to come greet him on his birthday.

“now let’s go to bed. we can open these tomorrow.” you insisted, taking freya from him and guiding him to his room.

he couldn’t wait to see what you had in store

-

and it was exactly how he wanted to spend it.

you make him breakfast first thing in the morning, pancakes and hashbrowns.

he wasn't a big breakfast person, but that was more than enough to give him a big smile for the day.

then the two of you sat on the couch, opening all of his gifts.

you got him new cologne, one of his favorite albums on a vinyl, a snack basket, and a new video game.

he also received other gifts from his friends and his brother in the form of text messages (and cashapp).

raaan sent $200 : srry i cant make it :( happy birthday you shit

shionneedsmoney sent $1.72 : treat urself 2 smth nice bday princess

izanakok sent $50 : ty for not kys, check ur emails (he pre-ordered the new spider-man 2 for him)

kakuchopp sent $2 : you can get the rest when i get paid, happy birthday rindou.

kakuchopp sent $98.23 : nvm js take my bank account i feel bad

rindou was happy from all the gifts he received from his friends, also receiving gifts in the mail and people dropping things off.

now the sun was getting ready to go down, and the two of you pushed the cushions together to create a big bed.

rindou was scrolling through netflix, trying to figure out what he wanted to watch while you ordered food.

you apologized for not being able to get him a cake, but he really didn't care.

you were right next to him in his arms, nothing else mattered.

unless you were offering yourself as the cake, in which he would never refuse that.

now the two of you were about ten minutes into peppermint, holding hands under the fluffy pink blanket you left here.

rindou goes to open his mouth to say something, but gets interrupted by a door being thrown open.

the front door.

"honey i'm home!" ran yelled, holding a pastel blue two tiered cake.

rindou shoots up out of his seat, eyes wide as he stares his brother down in shock.

freya gets scared from this, and ducks under your blanket and in between your hands.

rindou launches himself over the couch and ran immediately places the cake onto the table.

the brothers share a tight hug, rindou crying in his arms.

his big brother was here in the flesh, right in front of him, for his birthday.

kakucho and shion walk in, holding bags of food in their hands.

everyone frees their hands and gets up to hug him, even shion who was recording.

he truly felt blessed.

- bonus -

ran laid out the cakes that he bought with him, a cheeky grin on his face.

you giggled, standing next to him.

rindou was in the bathroom, getting ready for the photo shoot ran promised him.

“everybody grab one.” ran ordered quietly, grabbing the blue cake.

you grab the yellow one, kakucho grabs the green one, and shion grabs the red one.

rindou walks out of the bathroom, fixing the white shirt he had on with white suit pants.

rindou looks to his left, and ran is already smashing the blue cake into his face.

not hard enough to make it hurt though.

everyone follows behind, smashing cake into his face with big grins and cheeky giggles.

when you all finished, you screamed happy birthday at the top of your lungs.

rindou rolls his eyes, licking the icing off the corner of his lip. he should've anticipated this.

"okay lets do your photo shoot, and then clean up. drinks on me!" ran yells, holding a bottle of wrap & nephew and hennesy.

now that was rindou's type of party.

he can beat ran up later, right now it was his birthday and he was with his favorite people.

people who would do anything for him.

rindou's pics came out something like these -> link link link

[shikai-the-storyteller]

QSMP PURGATORY FINALE

Liveblogging Phil's POV - Part 1

[ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 ]

Strap in lads, this is a longgggg liveblog.

NEW BOLAS EMOTE LETS GOOOO

Aw, the idea of a shared playlist is so sweet.

Yeah I'm sick of Purgatory it's super stressful watching it and seeing the Fandom being stupid about it. If they keep Purgatory going (which I doubt they'd do, but One Fear and all that) I might stop watching stream as much. It's really not my vibe. If I do watch I'll probably just solo Phil's POV and that's it. I've been watching Fit more than Phil lately (for once) but that's been stressful).

Whenever Phil and Roier interact I gain a +10 boost to my mood

Oh, Maximus was streaming? OK yeah he's definitely set off that bomb today LMAO

Noooo they're all shouting over Maximus and he just goes silent noooo :((( SHUT UP AND LET MAXIMUS SPEAK GOOD GOD

Thank you Phil and Mouse for answering him I was losing my mind

Roier and Etoiles arguing about stupid stuff with each other is so funny, I'm so glad Purgatory made them become so close

LMAO Etoiles I'm so sorry, your team just loves dying

It's sad that Maximus didn't log on more, I wish more people knew how funny he is and what a good RPer he is :(

Mouse is so funny too I wish I had time to watch her

44m - Phil: Do we have a choice? Tubbo: We always have a choice. Banger convo

46m - Etoiles: I could kill them naked You sure could dude

NOOO ETOILES DONT SAY THAT THE EGGS ARE GONNA HAVE A DEATH BATTLE MY HEART DROPPED INTO MY STOMACH oh nvm "Dapper clears" made me laugh. Pomme would be awesome too.

52m 30s - Two coffee beans and a wooden hoe I'm DYING

Cellbit was only holding back his murderous tendencies on the Island because of coffee (and Roier)

POP OFF ETOILES I KNOW THAT SONG!!!!

The pure serotonin of hearing Etoiles sing a Spanish song I know :')

Poor Maximus coming back after 30 minutes. Surely he isn't working on his bomb (copium)

LMAO Maximus and his new server

58m - Maximus: Gays, any news?

I love him

OH CRAP CUTSCENE

"I SPY WITH MY GIANT EYE" LMAO

Oh Phil is gonna wipe the floor with Tubbo

LMAO of course he says stick fight

Poor Etoiles he's suffering

"Switch your hearts to Hardcore" Ok, Slime said that as a joke but that'd go so hard

Thank god Phil is going to be honorable about it, I know Tubbo will be too.

SHAKING MY SCREEN PLEASE STOP TALKING OVER MAXIMUS EVERYONE!!! This is a topic we’ve talked about a billion time but man, I wish they could implement translations / subtitles into their group chat as well, every conversation during events is biased in favor of English speakers. Aypierre was based for speaking only French with Bad and Fit the other day.

I love Etoiles he’s so funny

I LOVE THAT PHIL AND TUBBO ARE TALKING THIS OUT, AGH!!! I LOVE COMMUNICATION I MISSED THIS!!!!! I hated the lack of communication during the first week and a half of Purgatory

LMAO CELLBIT BEING SO TOXIC TO BAGI I LOVE HIM HE’S SUCH A TERRIBLE LITTLE BROTHER

Awh, Fit checking in on Maximus :’)))) Fit’s always been so sweet to the OG Spanish-speaking members of the server, it melts my heart. He brings them up every so often during his streams and he’s always so kind.

I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED THIS GAMBA IM SO SAD

LMAO I was gonna be like “Aw Tubbo being sweet about the kids” and then of course he’s like SCREW DAPPER, classic Tubbo

TUBBO HAD DREAMS ABOUT CELLBIT CHASING HIM DOWN WITH A KNIFE??? LMFAO This does not surprise me, somehow.

The only real winner of Purgatory is Antoine, he knew better than to log on while Purgatory was going on.

OH GOSH THE TRANSCRIPTIONS ARE A NIGHTMARE ok so it was definitely a good call to watch an English streamer for this. I know better than to rely on the transcripts / translation box during an event day with THIS many people online

PFTT ElQuackity wandering through

The gasmasks make me crack up so much because they remind me of a fly and also an old Majora’s Mask mask

“May the cursed team win” STOP BAITING THEM TBH I think they’re either all cursed or there is no cursed team

NOOOO I’m so sad I can’ hear the music Phil played during this fight

Screw it, pausing the VOD and pulling up my own hype music

I love seeing Phil going into sweat mode, his whole posture and expression shifts

Yeah no surprise there, Phil is cracked

Aww Bagi being so supportive of Tubbo is sweet

LETS GOOO WAY TO GO SLIME LMAO EVEN THE ADMINS WERE LIKE “FRICK THIS GUY” based

Wait noooo I just realized Pac isn’t online :(((((((((

Uh oh ladies

“I had my fun shuffling those friendships around” man wants to be taken seriously so bad with his little villain of the week speech PISS OFF oh ok just a few more games PHEW I thought he was ACTUALLY gonna pull a “Purgatory 2: Electric Boogaloo” on us and I was about to straight up turn off my computer and go to bed.

THE EYE IS GONNA PARTICIPATE????????

That’s sick as hell actually LETSGO I wanna see them wail on this circus clown

Phil: KILL HIS ASS KILL HIS ASS Phil just like me fr

“I’ve been close to you this entire time” Mouse: I’m gonna kill Quackity Based. Everyone immediately attacking the frickin admin I’m cackling LMFAO THEY ALL JUST KILL ELQUACKITY everyone be like “THIS IS FOR SENDING US TO HELL FOR 2 WEEKS THAT WAS SO STRESSFUL”

OH??? LETTERS NEXT TO THEIR NAMES??? Everyone except Aypierre, Bad, Fit, Baghera, Cellbit, Foolish, and Slime… Hmmmm… G I L G H S C M Ok well that’s a bunch of nonsense. I’m pausing the VOD I wanna try and work this out. Yeah I got nothing, I’m gonna keep watching for now lmao. I wonder if this is related to their tickets maybe? Though that doesn’t match up

Bagi has a 4 now??

I’d say “Maybe this is another ploy by the Eye to make them suspicious of each other and fight” but I think it’d be more interesting if the Eye was saying the truth this time

Aypierre (ha– “EYE-pierre” I wish someone made that joke) and Max having a private convo??? I’m sure there will be no major lore repercussions from whatever they’re talking about! (Copium)

LMAO I’m glad one of them was finally like “Is this a trap? Maybe we shouldn’t ALL run head-first into whatever this is.”

I swear if Quackity logged out to switch accounts or something–

I always wonder what “logging out” would translate to in the world. Would it just be like, the character falling asleep? Phasing out of existence? Hmm…

NOT ANOTHER FRICKIN ROULETTE WHEEL

1h 48m - Bagi: I think the one who should spin it is Phil! Phil:

Big mood Phil

I wonder if this is gonna determine what Egg we get back… will we only be able to rescue one? OH ACTUALLY NO – the Eye talked about multiple games. Maybe each game is about getting one of the Eggs back? That seems to easy though, I’m starting to wonder if they only get one Egg back. That would suck though because it implies that they’d have to do a whole Purgatory-esque event again for EVERY single Egg, and if they did that I’d drop dead.

Fit I love you, thank you for telling everyone to shut up and listen to Phil. Too much chaos.

Slime: I think I misclicked SHUT UP LMAOOO Oh so the Eye told Phil to spin it too, so they were right.

I FRICKIN KNEW IT THEY ONLY GET ONE EGG BACK

Poor Phil :(((( That’s so much pressure on him

THE WORKER HAS AN EYE WTF Lmao Roier immediately laughs at it Is that supposed to be the thing that was “close to them” all along? That doesn’t make any sense.

Ok cards on the table here: my first choice would be Richarlyson. I know this is all RNG based, but he’d be my first choice of all the alive Eggs. I’m almost certain it won’t be him though, I feel like it’s gonna be Tallulah or something.

Number 7? Roier: Vegetta? 777? Pftt

LMFAO NO SHOT SLIME ACTUALLY SCREWED IT UP

They should’ve just had Phil be the only one in the room– OH DOOR? Slime: YOU COULDN”T AFFORD A FASTER DOOR? GET THEIR ASS SLIME LMAO

Foolish: I’m drowning! Oh wait no, I meant the opposite of that. Pfttt

That frickin one-eyed worker looks so tired I wonder if that’s the worker Cucurucho sent, and it just got possessed by the Eye dude since the Eye didn’t have a physical body or didn’t want to show them its actual physical body or something? Hmmmmm.

RICHARLYSON AND POMME??

OH WAIT ITS ALL THE EGGS OH NO

OH NO DO THEY HAVE TO PICK ONLY ONE???

OH THANK GOD THEY CAN GET OUT wait but no they're blocked by glass still?

RICHASSSS CHAYANNE SOBS!!!

RAMONNNNNNNN FIT CALLING FOR RAMON IM GONNA CRY, THAT'S HIS BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY MADE IN HEAVEN BY GOD HIMSELF

I'm so sorry Chayanne but that did make me laugh

Phil: You did well Me: *BURSTS INTO TEARS*

LMAO Why is Tallulah just dancing

Ramon: Took u long enough to find me Me: *BURSTS INTO TEARS EVEN MORE*

Bro I missed the Eggs so much dude :( I know we probably won’t get them all back rn but it’s so nice just seeing them

FRICK OFF, DON’T MAKE THEM STAY HERE I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF

Slime: My sleep schedule, no–

1h 55m - Foolish: CUCURUCHO, BREAK US OUT! FRICKIN FOR REAL, CUCURUCHO GET THEM OUT OF THERE IM  LITERALLY GONNA DIE IF I HAVE TO SEE ONE MORE DAY OF PURGATORY

Cucurucho please get your ass over here

FRICKIN REAL AS HELL ETOILES

Genuinely though, if they kept this event going any longer I think so many streamers would actually quit and I wouldn’t even blame them. I’d probably drop it too for a while, it’s just way too much stress.

WAIT NO RAMON DOESN”T HAVE HIS MOUSTACHE oh wait no 

Tallulah: So he is not here? again? :( I hate to be that guy but literally what did you expect LMAO his ass is NOT coming back for some random Purgatory event

Phil: Don’t worry, I am here. HELL YEAH YOU ARE!!! BEST DAD PHIL

Oh… Phil running between Tallulah and Chayanne breaks my heart a little bit :(((

I wonder if Chayanne is separated because he’s the leader / eldest of the group. :(

Maximus: Guys, I’m gonna explode an atomic bomb. Phil: WHAT?

IM FRICKIN CRYING, MAXIMUS PLEASE, THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE BUT NOW IS NOT EITHER

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD”VE FRICKIN LISTENED TO MAXIMUS EARLIER!!!!!!!!

Head in my hands everyone is STILL talking over him while he’s doing this big important lore thing. I am dying. Maximus you deserve the world I am so sorry.

On a meta level, I wonder how many creators actually KNEW that Maximus had a bomb because I know for a fact at least a few of them were genuinely in the dark

This is miserable actually, I’m pulling up Maximus’ VOD rn because this is genuinely frustrating me. “Everyone always talks over everyone else in an event” and all, I know I know, but it still sucks to see.

MAXIMUS’ VOD INTERLUDE

OH DANG HE REALLY JUMPED STRAIGHT INTO THE LORE Lmfao not the cutesy hello in the midst of tense music, Max I love you.

Bro I’m about to start posting Sapo Peta clips, I NEED people to know how insanely good this man is at storytelling and RP, nobody frickin Gets It

I’m jumping to his conversation with Aypierre.

Aypierre: I’m a little curious Maximus: You can keep that “curious” in your mind. I love him.

1h 16m - Maximus: When all of this is finished, you won’t need my trust anymore. Banger line.

Aypierre: …Are you gonna kill yourself, Maximus? No, don’t do that. AGH.

Maximus: Maybe. AGH!!!!!!

Head in my hands, Maximus saying hi to Tina and getting no response, I think she was AFK

1h 18m - Maximus: I don’t trust you.

LMAO not Aypierre saying “I won’t kill you anymore.” Completely normal thing to say.

Aypierre: Will it kill only the Federation, or everyone? Maximus: *dead silent* Me: YEAH ALRIGHT, BUCKLE IN BOYS IT’S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Maximus what the hell is wrong with your facecam

Maximus just laughing after the Eye said they couldn’t leave. Badass.

Nobody listening to Maximus. I am chewing a live wire.

Bagi I love you but your volume is so frickin loud in everybody’s POV I’m dying

OH WTF ITS THE EYE THING????

THAT”S FRICKIN TERRIFYING WHAT THE HELL

That being said: absolutely badass of Maximus to just reveal where it is

AYO WHAT IS *THAT*

THAT SKIN IS FRICKIN HORRIFYING WHAT *IS* THAT QUACKITY

LMFAO POOR CHAYANNE JUST HIDING IN THE CORNER WHILE FRICKIN ELDRITCH MONSTER ELQUACKITY IS STANDING 2 FEET AWAY FROM HIM

I hit the word limit so I'm splitting this liveblog into 3 separate posts! Please see Part 2 and Part 3 here for the rest.

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 17: My Brother Is A Robeast Season 1, Episode 18: Zarkon Is Dying

Episode 17: My Brother Is A Robeast We're introduced to the Polluxians! King Kova is trying to ally himself with Doom by offering up his son Avok to become a robeast to destroy Voltron Except Zarkon thinks he's weak, so he's putting him in a gladiator fight, Lotor is just being a hater in general lol

THERE SHE IS GARY THERE SHE IS

Avok fights and wins only for Lotor to have a fit and try fighting him himself before obsessing over his younger sister Romelle who looks exactly like Allura Oh, and the youngest sibling, Bandor, is there cheering his brother on too They're all supposed to be Evil, but knowing what I do, it's really sad since the siblings don't seem to understand what becoming a robeast means, they're excited about that transformation

As usual, there's some double-crossing as Zarkon plans to destroy Avok after he destroys Voltron but Lotor is doubting only because he's gaga over Romelle On Pollux they send a challenge to the team and mention their planets' legend of long-lasting feud, two royal brothers of Arus were waiting to see who inherited the throne from their sickly father, one was good and the other not so much, obviously the good one got the throne while the other got sent to Pollux, making it Arus's evil twin

I wish the anatomy of these guys got played with more, it would've been cool to see some differences, maybe it's something in golion

The team chooses to fly to Pollux as Voltron to try and make peace, apparently every century Pollux's orbit puts it real close to Arus, so it's a quick trip More double-crossing, Kova doesn't actually want to split Arus and instead wants to rule the universe himself but Coba (Haggar's cat, yes it's confusing) is spying and Lotor already knows their plan Kova seems very arrogant, no wonder people paint him as a horrible father in all the fanfics I've read that he's in

The team has sewer time lol, they're trying to sneak into the castle after pollux refused to answer their message of peace At some point they're swimming and Keith pushes Pidges head under the water, dude what the fuck lol It's to get inside the castle though, and they end up basically rock climbing their way in which is wild

Look at him, so confident he can bust them into the castle, and he's right to be

Bandor and Romelle have a slight heart-to-heart, he's sad because Avok doesn't recognize him now that he's a robeast (that's rough kid) and Romelle isn't happy that there's going to be a war in the first place, Bandor got red pilled so hard :/ he's believing in Lotor's lies

Pidge fucks up and gets caught by Bandor who holds a sword to him, but Allura and Romelle go to their respective kid brothers (at this point Pidge is one for her) and meet, freaking out everyone since they look identical Allura begs Romelle to start a peace with her while Bandor is going nuts at the thought of even working with Arus Coba (cat) spots the scene and now the castle is surrounded by enemies which turns into a shoot out AND THE TEAM PROCEEDS TO JUMP OUT OF THE NEAREST WINDOW, insanity

Voltron doesn't have a time limit then, at least not now, since the team manages to land in the water and get back into the big guy which means Avok-beast gets sent out and he legit disarms the blazing sword from Voltron, good for Avok, but they take their new wrestling fight to the nearby bay and Voltron shocks him

Now Zarkon's plan starts as the Drule fighters start blasting at both of them, making Avok freak out and swim out to sea which freaks out Romelle who tries to chase after him but ends up kidnapped by Lotor's officers I don't think the team saw that because they chase after the fleet ship but don't stop the extra ships that leave, including the one that Lotor is in with Romelle Oh nvm Bandor told them and they know Lotor has to stop at Arus because his ship is kind of fucked so the team is taking him with them to get Romelle back, new ally acquired!

/episode end

Episode 18: Zarkon Is Dying I sure fucking hope so

Lotor takes a very dramatic walk to a different witch who makes a Rose-beast (lol) for his next attack on Arus, but he's then told that Zarkon is gravely ill and actually seems worried for once Haggar does a weird seance to ask for guidance on how to help and sends Lotor to get a berry that grows on Arus to cure his father, funny how everything fits together

Apparently the boys are helping build a school for the kids in a nearby town so Allura helps her maids forage in the nearby woods for lunch, except Lotor also lands in there and uses some of the potion he was given earlier to make some plant robeasts, rotten timing honeslty

Obvs the ladies are trapped and Keith leaves Pidge in charge of the kids and takes the other two with him after they noticed birds circling above where Allura is, he mentions that the birds only circle when something or someone is in trouble, so I wonder if they're an omen of some kind

oh these things are HORRIFYING

Lotor starts talking big game with Allura but Keith tarzans his way towards him with a gun in his hand and knocks him onto a nearby branch, very iconic of him LMAO After all 3 guys tarzan in to swing the ladies out of danger, minus nanny who keith goes back for, they run out of the forest so Pidge can hold off the freaky mutant trees while the team gets to their lions

"they're only a bunch of tress! I think I'll start a forest fire!" Smokey The Bear would be disappointed in you Lance

The trees fused together as if they were in Dragonball or something and end up catching Pidge and Allura who tried to hit it head on, so Keith Lance and Hunk resort to playground tactics and knock the guy over by black pushing him onto red and yellow I wonder if this is where VF got their idea for episode 2 lol

It's voltron time except the tree robeast grabs them by the legs are starts SWINGING THEM AROUND AS IF HE WERE DOING A WEIGHT THROW Hunk and Allura throw fire at it though and voltron is free to form blazing sword and cut it down

Back at home he almost forced the other witch to drink poison for failing him, but she convinces him to give it to Zarkon instead, except when he drinks it, it actually heals him even though there weren't any berries in the thing Zarkon says Haggar has protected him from poison, so he can't die from pathetic attempts like that bummer

/episode end

[kissmyaft]

Story time because I do too much stupid shit with my life

Me and my friends like doing cop runs.

There’s an abandoned hotel and hospital like 8km away from my area, but it’s on private property and still has owners, they just do nothing with it.

But basically, this one cop run we did in autumn we went to that abandoned building and climbed on there. And what we like doing is we call the property owners under a private number and basically complain how “there are young adults climbing on the abandoned buildings” and they usually send a security guard or call the cops.

We was climbing the wall (only way to get up is to manage to run yourself up a wooden plank for like a meter and a half and then jump and grab onto the second roof ledge and hoist yourself up) to get to the second story a few minutes after we had called the property owners.

Just then as i’m finished hoisting myself up we see the Security car come flying in. Two of my friends who were on the very top of the building already went and hid inside the building, but me and my other friend were spotted. So call us crazy, but you know what we did? We said fuck it and jumped off the roof💀 that was like a good 3-4 meter fall down, but yolo. How did we not break our ankles? We’re just that good I guess.

Me and him went and ran and hid behind a darker corner and heard our friends taunting the security a few minutes later (fav thing to do)

They later told us the security tried to be a smartass and negotiate them to come out

And like ten minutes of that they come flying out of the building like “Shit, run, run! It’s fat Genka!”

Now the thing is, that security guard is fat asf, BUT BOY DOES HE HAVE A GOOD PAIR OF LEGS. we go flying into the woods and no idea how Genka manages to keep pace. But, it’s the woods, we know it like the back of our hands having grown up in the forests and wilderness💀 so we still manage to get away.

So we just chill somewhere for like 30minutes before making our way back because we left our bags there (running with them would slow us down so it’s best to hide them). Lo and behold, we see a cop van nearby. I mean we still go and get our bags. It was all going fine until one of us notices that we were spotted. So we try to walk away with our bags as if we were just innocently looking around.

Yea nvm that plan was out the window once we heard the police car reverse out and the sirens go on. we were OUT of there. We pair up me with the guy I was with before and the two others together and split up. We sprinted for like a good 1,5km out of the property until we reached the main road and then ran over to the other side into the forest. We could’ve just hid and waited for a bus to come and leave, but where’s the fun in that? So we fucked around, almost got arrested multiple times, and still got away(mind you we are all adults so if we got caught it wouldn’t be as simple as a warning and a ride home). The police took the L.

Sometimes we go there with dirtbikes and get them to chase us on the roads. Sometimes we don’t run away at all and just taunt the security or police until they give up and leave or we just “magically disappear”.

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

Sooo what happened after vampy got out of the bathroom?👀

Can't believe you left us at that cliffhanger, nvm I can believe that you leave like that, miss rick riordan 2.0

Harry ends up chasing her around his condo in nothing but a towel, one hand clutching the fabric into a wad around his hips so it doesn’t slip off, the other reaching for her wildly as they run circles around his coffee table. In the time it took him to get out of the shower and wrap himself up accordingly, Y/N had somehow managed to acquire the leather crop he usually keeps at the bottom drawer in that special nook in his closet, and she’s decided to use it as a weapon against him, much to his misfortune.

“Give it!” Harry grabs at his girlfriend for the billionth time, trying to trap her wrist in order to force her to surrender the sex toy. “It’s custom-engraved!”

Y/N uses the tool to ward him off, slapping the backs of his fingers in a quick, brutal motion that makes him yelp in pained surprise. She scampers away to the opposite end of couch between them, swaying the crop tauntingly as she sticks her tongue out as a childish gesture, giggling evilly. “Eat shit!”

“Ow!” The vampire shoves his wounded index and middle fingers into his mouth, sucking at them almost petulantly to wean out the pain, circulating blood back into the area as his brows crease into a dark scowl. A low growl stirs the gravel in his lean chest as he watches her mock him, but the way he’s suckling at his digits dissolves whatever threatening aura he’s trying to instill. “I’m gonna wring your neck.”

“I’m gonna wring your neck.” Y/N mimics his accent brutishly, making a stupid face at him as she waves the crop around like a magic wand. “You gotta catch me first, Barry Allen.”

Her boyfriend rips his fingers form his lips, pointing at her accusingly as he glowers amidst his damp curls, wet chest, and daisy-printed towel. “What about when I grab my paddle to level the playing field? What then?”

“No offense, but in terms of size,” Y/N glances down at his clothed crotch to support her crass innuendo, a dirty grin plastering across her twitching cheeks, “I think I have the upper-hand. When it comes to combat artillery, anyways.” 

Harry nabs the nearest sofa cushion, gripping it tightly as he hones his aim as accurately as he can, considering she’s shuffling from side to side in an attempt to psych him out. He directs his suggestive (yet cautionary) words towards her, though they’re distant and distracted as he busies himself with his new sniper agenda, tracking her every motion to compile a solid target in his brain. “We both know girth is just as important as length, darling.”

“Not at the moment, honey.” Y/N punts his fabricated condescending affection back at him, her eyes gleaming with mischief. She suddenly pounces forward, swinging her arm across the couch and using the flat of the crop to smack the pillow out of his grasp, shrieking with triumphant glee as Harry squeaks out of stunned instinct. She uses his lapse in attention to then reel sideways, using the same end to plant a harsh spank across his backside, not holding back on her strength whatsoever. “Length is definitely the winning team right now.”

The girl jumps back a few feet once her attack has succeeded, laughing fully as Harry’s hips jerk forward in an aftershock, both of his palms flying to his ass to provide comfort, even if it means losing his dignity in the process. He massages the aching area to soothe the throb, smoldering at her as she scurries towards the kitchen, spewing venomous curses under his breath. He shuffles after her slowly, wincing slightly at the tides of pain that swell across his behind. “I’m not letting you leave this house alive.”

“Good luck getting around after that botched BBL I just gave you.”

[springki]

Isu 10

The start of the third arc lets gooooo

spoiler ahead as usual~

The scene starts at Uncle Kumar's stall. A guy with big red hat and red robe approached uncle kumar. He asked unel kumar on where he can find boboiboy, to which uncle kumar answered that he can find him at kokotiam. Just then, Gopal came by, and his father wanted him to show the way. However, the mystery guy vanished, leaving behind coins with butterfly motifs (because he was forced to buy ice cream by uncle kumar). Gopal then walked to Kokotiam. Otw, he was approached by a blue glowing butterfly and upon seeing it, he became sleepy and collapsed.

The scene moves to Tapops-U greenhouse. Bbb was watering the plant (from the oakuat seed) in pasubot's soil. Yaya and Ying commented about how fast the plant grows and pasubot said that it did not know how long the plant takes for the fruits to bear. It could be a week or a month. Well, at least not a hundred years :v ..Tok Kasa came in.( He's still chilling in earth lol) Yaya asked him that, is the legend of the oakuat is true ?, to which tok kasa was not sure too as there is no one who has eaten the fruit, because of how long it takes to bear fruit. Tok kasa also praised them for their efforts to make the plant grows. Bbb then went to kokotiam to tend to the shop in tok aba's absence.

(can i put my thoughts here: Im confused about the oakuat actually. I thought King Balakung ate it before but then tok kasa said otherwise. So how does Gaharum knows that the oakuat can help bbb get kuasa Balak? hMmmm he got scammed :v nvm continue~)

Fang was at the shop as well. Bbb felt weird about gopal not coming to the kokotiam yet. Then, a glowing blue butterfly approached the two. The butterfly sprinkled dusts(?) and it formed the shape of gopal trapped in a cocoon-like trap along with it, is a voice; threatening bbb to come alone to the designated place if he wants to save his bestfriend. The butterfly then fly away~ Both bbb and fang was in shock.

Bbb arrived at Pulau Rintis Park. As soon as he arrived, he shouted for the guy to show himself. The guy with the hat and robe was sitting on the tree. He came down upon bbb arrival, and introduced himself as maripos. (I think maripos means butterfly in spanish?) You can tell that he is an insect-like alien from his antennas. He said that he was a wanderer who goes around looking for miracles in the entire galaxy. He stumbled upon the story of bbb defeating Retakka during his journey, and thus got interested to meet the boy. Then, Bbb demanded that he let gopal go now, since he had already meet bbb. Maripos then showed gopal, who are trapped in a cocoon that are attached to a tree behind him. Before he released gopal, he wanted bbb to give him one of his power (guess which one is it :3) bbb obviously denied to do so.

On the other hand, Fang who tagged along, tried to save gopal with his shadow hands. Maripos said that he was disappointed with bbb's answer and proceed to throw his baton-like weapon to the tree where gopal is, ruining Fang's plan. Fang appeared from behind of the tree. Maripos then floated in the air with his 'sky walk art', provoking Fang that none of his attacks will reach him. (He's so sassy wth) Fang accepted the challenge and turn into half shadow garuda and went to chase after him, leaving bbb to save gopal.

So, there's an intense fight going on in mid-air with the two while bbb struggling to save gopal who wrapped tightly in the cocoon. Maripos provoked Fang about how weak they are and he cannot believe that they are able to defeat Retakka. Fang said that Retakka lose because of how overconfident he is. Then he ambushed maripos with shadow trap, and dived in to successfully attack him. Just when he was rejoicing, he realized that; what he had injured was actually tons of blue butterflies that dispersed from maripos body! (I will put pic because duh idk how to explain this ) so basically maripos body can split into hundreds of blue butterfly and can merge back to form his physical body. He used that ability to ambush Fang and defeated him. Fang fell to the ground.. In that moment, gopal sent an alert to Tapops-U.

In the station, Qually cooked fried spinach for tok kasa when the alert alarm went off. They went to monitoring room to search the whereabout of the signal by using the security camera. The two saw fallen fang and bbb who is ready to fight someone.

Bbb was enraged by what Maripos had done. He switched to Hali and proceed to attack him. Although he met in speed but Maripos random flexible movements throw him off. He even used his 'rain of thunderstorm spear' to attack him. Maripos attached his two batons along with big butterfly shaped fan, and counter the attack with his 'art of fan slash' that formed strong wind slashes, breaking the thunderspear and throwing Hali off his feet. (im not sure about the translation of the attack names :V).

Bbb then commented on how Maripos' movement are so random just like the wind! That's when he got the idea to turn into our happy boi, Taufan and fought maripos one on one :DD Maripos said that he had been waiting for bbb to use that power. Behind a big tree not far from the two, a mysterious woman with a robe covering her head was surpeised of bbb having the 2nd tier of wind element. (uwu who are u milady) The next ten pages are all about their fight. I wont write on the whole fight (cause it will be too longgg), i will just give some snippets that I like :D Anw I just wants to point out that this is the most satisfying fighting moments in all bbb series and movies for me! This is the only time bbb use one element, a hand-on, one of one fight with someone of same physique. *chefkiss*

The fight was stopped by Tok kasa and the lady in the robe. bbb questioned why tok kasa stop him, and tok kasa calmed him down. He greeted the lady in the robe. She revealed her face under the robe and she is an old friend of Tok kasa. Tok kasa then introduced her as, Kuputeri, The original user of beliung power! (I forgot what beliung in eng is lol, its wind 3rd tier power) She's still alive after fighting retakka :D even tok kasa was surprised that she survived. Then, she explained to bbb that she just wants to test bbb's power capability by using maripos, but maripos went overboard tho haha. Lastly she revealed that she wants her beliung power back from bbb O.o

That's all it! Illegal cliffhanger as usual uwu

imo: dude this chapter is AWESOME O.O ive said before that this is my most fave issue so far! idk maybe because of how intense the fight was i guess haha. But anw I like how the start of the arc is with taufan solo fight, indicating that this might just be a serious arc after all and the last time we might see upan *cough* Andd another thing I like is the conflict within bbb. Look, he has 7 powers so by an outsider person view: they will think its ok even if he lose one, he would still be super strong! Some would even think that he's greedy to want all 7 elements. But then from bbb view: obviously he has sentimental value with his power, its impotant to him and to lose one? It would affect him mentally (just like in movie 2) But what if there's a dire situation that require him to give taufan away? Would he still oppose it or will he went with a more morale solution: give it away ? hmmm i have a feeling this might went to the cliche ending route but nvm we'll shall see~

oh and maripos is awesome btw ehe i have a thing for guy with long hair ///

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

[chiiquititamoved]

ep 1 of bbc dracula - observations

beginning looks very creepy. am i down? not sure. 

there’s a cool nun! i’m getting some very good badass vibes 

wHEw, okay, i was expecting some queerbait-y type stuff from this show but literally before even the intro, this (AMAZING) nun just goes “mr harker. have you had sexual intercourse with dracula?” 

just. right out of the gate

we’ve established that this nun doesn’t have any faith in god

okay now we’re getting into the castle stuff. (this is right after the intro) 

aw mina (from her letter) seems like a sweetheart so far 

this is very beauty and the beast so far. like when belle’s dad goes into the castle and there’s no one there 

oooh we just met dracula. he’s very wrinkly and old 

“they [people of transylvania] are without... flavour.” “perhaps you mean character?” “ahahahaa.”

i feel like i should clarify that harker is staying in a convent, being cared for by nuns while he’s sick. he’s telling his story to badass nun and this other nun and the viewer is seeing what happened through cuts or whatever 

okay you know just some book stuff is happening - dracula’s being a weirdo, johnny harker notices some odd goings on, etc.

so, this has always struck me - in the book as well - why is dracula always climbing up walls like a fucking lizard? why? first of all, he can turn in to a bat, so if he needs to get OVER the wall then he can fucking FLY. if he doesn’t need to get over the wall then wtf is he doing? harker is going to see or hear him - i mean, god knows he’s acted weirdly/suspiciously enough for harker to be scared/nervous around him - like??? dracula really is an idiot psychopath bisexual  

harker’s having an *ehem* mildly i n n a p r o p r i a t e dream. he and mina are having sex but then mina turns into wrinkly old dracula. yucky yuck. 

now harker sees ‘help us’ written on his window

it’s in english! very convenient for mr harker - so our wonderful nun points out: “you are an englishman: a combination of presumptions beyond compare.” (no hate to englishmen)

harker starts to explore the castle. uh oh. 

he gets lost + dracula finds him

our man dracula is wining and dining johnny!

Dracula looks younger now. :| this is suspicious

dracula is EVEN YOUNGER! glow up!!!!

harker is starting notice there’s NO STAFF IN THE CASTLE... and his health is deteriorating 

wow johnny is actually being very brave!! i must say i am proud

johnny is finding a bunch of old pictures in a wooden bin somewhere in the castle. are these dracula’s previous victims?? WHO KNOWS

FUCK there’s a fucking dead lady in the wooden bin. yuckkk i do not approve 

she just chased him down this tunnel, and now dracula’s there and harker passes out

badass nun (agatha) is telling us about the UNDEAD. explains a lot

drac says he found johnny asleep on the floor in the basement, all the while looking SUSPICIOUSLY young. 

HEY drac is calling him johnny! that’s my thing >:(

now johnny doesn’t recognize mina’s picture! what’s going on?

he’s making johnny write three letters to mina: one saying he’s almost leaving the castle, one saying he’s leaving the next day, and one saying he’s left safely, etc. 

john’s hallucinating that a baby’s crying in the distance. OR IS HE?

harker is willing to sacrifice himself for a baby he doesn’t even know exists. i’m actually proud of how brave he is :’(

AGATHA!! i love her

so harker is starting to plot an escape - he looks for a map to the castle. he knows that drac said that it doesn’t exist but his reasoning is that the architect was an artist and would have wanted his art preserved. he finds the map in a painting of the architect’s dead wife (because she’s the sunlight of his life and he built this place to escape the actual sunlight when she died?? i think?? Sorry that was confusing)

so, the architect made hidden passages through the maze of the castle 

harker finds a passage! yay

okay the passage led to a room, and in the room there’s a lady in a wooden box thing eating rats. she comes out of the box, she’s a vampire, and johnny’s talking to her. she left the message on the window earlier? maybe? this is unclear. 

she bites john

harker askes nun agatha why she’s got no “faith” and she says “I have looked for god everywhere in this world and never found him.” “Then why are you here?” “Well, like many women of my age, I am trapped in a loveless marriage, maintaining appearances for the sake of a roof over my head.” GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN

eww there’s a deadish baby in the box thing

drac kills the lady in the castle

harker: “you’re a monster!” drac: “and you’re a lawyer. nobody’s perfect.”

okay drac and harker have a suspenseful chat, bla bla bla. drac is trying to REPRODUCE? 

If this turns into some fucking mpreg fanfiction bullshit i’m suing 

drac goes outside onto a balcony thing in the castle w/ johnny and they lay down (drac in the shade and harker in the sun) and drac asks johnny to describe the sun to him?? cool i guess??

drac, about the sun: “But that’ll burn me to dust.” my man john harker: “Good.” “fair enough.” 

i LOVE how johnny is literally on death’s door, and still manages to snark at the man who put him there

okay so john’s still outside w/ drac, it’s established that he’s either going to die (fully) or be stuck in the castle for the rest of his “life”. harker is shaking, bla bla, and he goes “drac! spare me!” and drac’s like “how, dude?” and then we cut to agatha and harker in the convent and it turns out that harker just wrote pages of shit like “dracula is my master!” “dracula will be obeyed!” “dracula is god!” when he got to the convent and it’s like... whew

turns out he thought he was writing an account of his stay at the castle but he really just wrote like 100 pages of that 

oooookay - now, johnny’s begging drac to let him go and drac’s like “how?” and john says he won’t tell anyone about drac’s plans to move to england and kill everybody so drac’s like “sure,” and harker’s like “wait really,” and drac’s like “oooh i’m going to destroy everyone you love bla bla bla but if you swear you won’t try to stop me i’ll let you go.” UM. 

but now harker gives this impressive last hurrah thing where he kinda like... climbs up dracula’s body? like drac pulls him? and he goes “i swear that if you let me out here alive... I’LL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO STOP YOU!” psych 

and then drac kills him and he falls down 

“SO HOW IS HE ALIVE?”, you ask

“HE’S A VAMPIRE,” i say

oh no! he’s not! my lovely agatha reveals that he’s “undead, but not a vampire,”

aggie: “it’s not something that one anticipates asking: but, what happened after you were murdered?”

okay so now johnny becomes undead and he still has a spirit! johnathan harker has a will, etc and he tries to jump off of the balcony thing. drac’s like hey you should stay w/ me! ur kinda like me u kno and john’s like NOPE

then the sun hits drac’s face and johnny falls from the balcony

now aggie reveals that a river, which john fell into, bore him out to sea and a fisherman found him caught in his net. he was brought to the convent/agatha 

agatha: “i am known to have some expertise in the realm of witchcraft and the occult.” johnny: “You’re a nun.” ag: “We can discuss my imperfectly suppressed fascination with everything dark and evil another time.”

oh!!!!!! so - the sun reflected the cross that harker was wearing onto drac!!!! and that’s why drac fell/was hurt whatever 

so basically like minor vampires and shit don’t fear the cross??? but big guy (drac) does?

agatha’s like “i looked everywhere and finally i found god!!!! yay” and she’s happy 

OH FUCK!!! THE SECOND NUN IN THE ROOM IS MINA!!!

basically aggie found out who he was, traced him back to london, and found mina (she mentions a detective acquaintance - sherlock crossover, anyone?) 

mina: “we are to be married, so who you are will always be my decision.”

they have a really touching “i still love u!!” type scene and then a bunch of fucking bats fly in

turns out drac’s at the convent now

mina got bitten (on her face) by a bat and she’s kinda bloody and harker’s like woooh take this stake so you can stab me if i try to drink that

god agatha has SO MANY good lines!!!

now dracula has turned into a wolf and he’s outside the gates of the convent 

mina hugs johnathan and he licks her blood :(

now he backs her into a corner and tries to drink her blood, but then he stops and tries TO IMPALE HIMSELF ON THE WOODEN STAKE

the wolf has this really gross transformation scene and he turns into dracula as a human

OOKAY so a bunch of nuns come to the gates (i should clarify that that’s where dracula is) and they pull out wooden stakes and agatha’s like drac you’re going down. 

agatha opens the gates of the convent!!! and tells dracula he’s not invited in and he can’t come in

agatha to drac: “I expect a beast to follow rules, I don’t expect it to understand them.”

agatha cuts her hand open and like taunts him w/ the blood 

SHE’S AGATHA VAN HELSING OH MY GOD

THEY REALLY TURNED VAN HELSING INTO A WOMAN!!!!!

drac: “who are you?” agatha: “your every nightmare at once. an educated woman in a crucifix.” !!!!!!!!

OH FUCK!!!! johnathan really is dead!!!!! :((( i thought he wouldn’t be but nvm i guess

mina and aggie have a talk and mina says she’ll never love anybody else :’(

oh shit!!! i was right he isn’t dead! drac does that weird lizard wall climbing thing again and goes into his window and tells johnny that “suicide doesn’t work.” great. 

dracula’s like hey bud i can kill you properly! since it needs another person! all you’ve gotta do is invite me in! :))))))

we cut to the mother superior and she’s giving a nice little lecture about god 

and then dracula comes in and cuts her head off

the nuns are obviously terrified BUT they’ve got their crosses and they push him away, whatever, but then drac calls a bunch of wolves 

“I’m undead, I’m not unreasonable.”

the nuns get attacked by the wolves EXCEPT for agatha and mina, who went to agatha’s workshop to escape

harker comes down to the workshop! (which they surrounded by sacramental bread or something) and they’re arguing over whether they should let him in and mina’s like i’m gonna do it! and she almost does but she sees that harker’s eyes aren’t blue anymore, so she’s like hey what’s up with that and then harker starts PEELING HIS FACE OFF and it’s dracula

THE END OF EPISODE ONE 

phewwwwwww. So this is almost 2000 words? And very incoherent. If you’ve had the courage to read this far, thank you. 

IN CONCLUSION: will i keep watching this show? yes. i’m very squeamish so i’ll probably skip some of the gory stuff later on but other than that i will definitely continue.

did i like this show? YES. i honestly started it with very low expectations but so far it’s really good. to be fair, though, i found that in the book the beginning was the best part and i didn’t love it after, so i guess we’ll see. 

did i like it better than the book? so far, yeah. The book was full of bullshit like “ooh you have a man’s brain and a woman’s heart,” to mina, which :/. (obviously it’s not like i could have expected much better from a male victorian author but still.) i love how they made van helsing a woman! I know agatha is going to be wonderful.

[jadvviga]

so i finally saw the Sonic Movie

and I love it

and also I. have some. thoughts (?)

not super smart or important or anything. but. I just. wrote them down.

not like it gonna interest anybody but ill give it a try

(there might be spelling and/or grammar errors, cause English is not my native, so sorry in advance)

((and also I've seen this movie not in English sooo))

"Sonic the  Hedgehog" spoilers  below! (well you won’t get most of it if you haven’t seen a movie, but still)

Hmm beginning is kinda like in Megamind. I like it

BABY SONIC

"She’s my Obi Wan Kenobi" well guess who’s gonna be dead in 10 seconds

We have a little Lord of the Rings here

He is so cute I cant-

This other cop is little weird but also relatable

Sonic is still a baby even when he is not

Don’t stop me know fits perfectly (insert Pacha meme here)

AAAAAH he just want to have a friend :<

asfdghgh She prepered a second cake just in case XD

Aaaaaaaa baby is lonely :<<<

Well nobody gonna notice a little sonic-boom tantrum, right? RIGHT?

"Oh we have to get the evil crazy guy, we have no choise"

Hey what’s Damien Darhk doin here?

Oh just to get roasted by Jim Carrey, okay

Carrey as Robotnik is soooo goood

I love his asistant. And their relationship

These robots give me huge Portal vibes

Yeey road trip :D

A hedgehog and a cop walks into a bar...

Scenes with super fast character going around a paused world are ALWAYS good. Especially with fancy music

I just realised that not only Sonic acts like 10-year-old, but actually IS ~10

I bet 10 donuts that most of the jokes and puns are 10 times funnier in English

Robot get destroyed. Deploy new baby robot. Repeat.

This reminds me of Madagascr 3 chase scene

Sonic doing little dance, and y'all now what dance

(not the fortnite dance)

Oh no baby hurty :c

Oh Doc actally calls his place "evil lab", how cute

Assistant carrey him some gud coffe :D (get it? cuz... ah nvm)

This scene is gold btw

I really wish that i could have seen this movie with captions btw :/

Tom wife's sis is crazy, but i like her

I absolutely love Jojo

"Uncle Tom bring blue hedgehog. Blue hedgehog good. Bring him new shoes."

Tom and his wife's relationship is great.

Yet I still haven’t remebered her name.

"Do yOu HaVe KiD hErE???" "Don’t worry maam, he is not mine" XD

Awww these two are cute. And that actually are not my words, it’s said in the movie 

It’s nice that they didn’t translate "Eggman", but I’m thinking that these 2 other kids that were in the screening room didn’t get why Sonic calls him that *shrug*

Ooooo another slow-mo scene

Gotta go fast (does he actually say it in the movie? cuz I didn’t hear it, but this might be because of the tranlation???)

The guy with chainsaw is cool.

Awwwww he is so happy about the high-five I CAN’T

Awwwww he’s got adopted

"See, I’m not crazy" said totally not crazy Robotnik to his mushroom friends.

Oh hey there is after-credits scene.

GASP it’s Sonic’s buddy??? There gonna be MOAR??

OMG HE CAN FLY. WITH HIS TAIL(S)

(probably should have mention this eralier, but I know nothin about Sonic games, lore and such. I went to a movie for fun. I just know some memes :p )

Some legends say that Jojo is still running around the house

[heartslogos]

the declassified texts of the inquisition’s elite [37]

920): That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating

(585): Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.

“Sera’s fever is so high she’s forgotten dinosaurs exist,” Malika says, “I think they’ve moved her from her room into the med-bay. Dagna had to throw all of their stuff into the laundry on the heavy duty sterilizing mode and the rest of their stuff got sterilized in the legit sterilizer.”

“We have a sterilizer?” Max turns to Dorian.

“For medical equipment,” Dorian answers, flipping through a plain covered journal before tossing it at Max. “That one needs to be shredded.”

“You moved here — as an escapee and asylum seeker actively being chased after by your government — less than a year ago and the sheer volume of things you’ve amassed — keeping in mind that our first base got crushed underneath a mountain — is astounding.” Maxwell throws the book into the large box at his feet along with the others Dorian’s deemed safe to dispose of.

“I do a lot more work than you lot give me credit for. It’s not all sipping wine and leaning against doorways and looking artfully composed at every angle,” Dorian replies, pulling down another half dozen books into one arm and flipping the first one open the go through it. “I am a valuable asset and a dedicated contributor to our cause. Sera forgot dinosaurs exist? Doesn’t she have a tattoo of one?”

“Yeah,” Malika sighs from Dorian’s bed, arms crossed over her chest. “Do you think she’s going to be okay? I mean. In this day and age the odds are stacked heavily in her favor, right?”

“Of course.”

“The Inquisition has some of the best and most innovative minds in every field working for it, or at the very least, contributing towards it. Myself included. Sera is going to be fine. She’s just unlucky that she got a cold, an allergy, and a series of infected cold sores all at the same time. Let the medical team do what the medical team needs to do and she’ll be right as rain. The rain that caused the cold, now that I think on it. Hm. Unfortunate.”

“Sera says it’s seasonal,” Malika says, “She gets cold sores in and around her mouth every year during the end of fall and start of winter. She’s even got a scar from a really bad one she got a few years back at the corner of her mouth.”

“Yikes.” Maxwell grimaces. “A scar? That’s not even a sore anymore, is it?”

“Well. The way she described it, it was more of a rip.”

Dorian and Maxwell both shudder.

“That’s a lovely and stunning visual,” Dorian hands Maxwell a few more books. “Toss these also, I’ve got more improved notes in my later journals. Alright. Onto the reference pile. Which of these can I donate to the Inquisition library to better educate the masses?”

“You have any books on what to do when your friend is hit with a triple whammy and ends up rushed into observation?”

“Malika, you know I studied biology, but it was less about disease control and prevention and more on post mortem analysis and pharmaceutical research. And all of that was a side thing to the physics.” Dorian frowns. “Actually. Wait. Hold on.” He abruptly crouches down and starts pulling books out of the lowest shelf. I think I did do some studies on allergies way back in my misbegotten youth when I thought I might enjoy being a doctor. Can you imagine that? Me? A doctor? Of medicine? I’d have to be civil!”

Malika laughs, “You’d have to treat the Iron Bull.”

Maxwell starts laughing, “Dorian, the face you’re making right now — “

“Never say that again,” Dorian says, “Get out of my room for saying that. I’m banishing you. Go complain about being short one troublemaker to the Iron Bull.”

-

“That’s what happens when you work with chemicals,” Dagna says, “You run out of pants. And then you have to buy new ones on the fly. Thank every higher power for two day shipping, right? Sera’s legs are way too long and skinny for me to be borrowing her clothes. I’m surprised I haven’t ripped these sweats open yet.”

“You wear protective gear over your regular clothes,” Kaaras points out, “How did it effect your pants?”

“It gets really hot when I’m working in the forge and when I’m in the labs,” Dagna waves her hand, “Besides. I don’t need the full protective gear all the time. Just most of the time. And whatever it was that ate through my pants and made them all melty obviously didn’t do any real damage because I don’t remember getting hurt. I even checked in the mirror. No burn marks. No signs of an irritant or rash. I’m fine.”

“As one of our leading researchers and R&D team leaders I feel like maybe you should, um. Well. Be a bit more concerned? About safety hazards?”

“Look. That’s all fine and good for the newbies, the interns, and the people who are doing stuff they aren’t sure about. Me? If I’m doing something rote? Something completely normal with the lowest risk of danger to myself? Something I know works and I know the outcome of? I’m going to do it. I’m a professional. I’ve got multiple degrees, national awards, and a wikipedia page the size of my entire torso with external reference links and everything.”

Kaaras shakes his head, “And melted pants.”

“And melted pants,” Malika concedes. “Hey, you think I can grab some of the Inquisition branded stuff? The sweats and the cargos?”

“Since it’s you, probably,” Kaaras says. “But how many do you think you’re going to need?”

“Well. I need something to get my by for the week. Probably some extra’s in case of more melting emergencies. Then some for the future? Oh, it would be nice if I kept some around the labs. Just in case. And maybe some for Sera?”

“Dagna.”

“It’s got to be a perk of the job, Kaaras. Unlimited pants seems like something that would definitely be a perk of the job. Just think about how fast anyone would run through them! Climbing mountains, going through bogs, trudging through desert sands, wading in swamps and marshes. They’ve got to have worked that into the budget.”

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball 083

This screencap doesn’t have much to do with anything, I just wanted to post it because it looks really awesome.   This is such a good cartoon, guys.

By the way, Goku wants to eat that bird.  

While that’s going on, there’s also a cool car chase happening nearby.    This green fox dude in a compact is running from three tough guys in a yellow muscle car.    They both run off the road, but somehow the three guys still think they’ve got their quarry right where they want him.   Even the bit players in Dragon Ball are extra.

So we’ve got a tiger-man, a gorilla-man, and a boar-man.   They work over fox-dude for a bit, when suddenly...

Looks like these guys made one mistake: They took a wrong turn and ended up in Goku Town.   Population: Whoop-ass.   Sister City: Clobberopolis.   Mayor: The Hon. Fightson McBeatemup.   I’ll stop now.

Green fox dude’s name is Konkichi, and he’s so grateful that he gives Goku a ride to the airport, since he’s got to be at Papaya Island for the World Tournament the day after tomorrow.   Goku was planning to run the whole way, so using an airport never even crossed his mind, but Konkichi explains to him that Papaya Island is on the opposite side of the planet, so he’s pretty much gotta fly.    Also, Konkichi gives Goku his stash of canned food, and starts calling him “bro”.  

I should point out here that we’re now in the “three years later” part of this arc.   I’m not sure what the chronology is with these last five episodes, but when Goku left it was still Age 750, and now it’s Age 753, so we’re definitely looking at the 15-year-old model of Goku now.   It’s a little tricky to tell him apart from 12-year-old Goku, but his neck’s a little more prominent than in the early episodes, and his arms and legs are longer and more defined.   I’m surprised that Shu’s ninja gear still fits him, but it was kind of loose anyway, and it does sort of look like Goku’s sleeves aren’t quite long enough anymore.  

The Yahhoy Airport, Konkichi learns that the next flight to Papaya leaves at 3pm today, and the one after that won’t be for another week.   But Goku doesn’t have money to pay for a ticket, because he was never planning to fly in the first place.  Konkichi promises to find another way, but his scheme to pickpocket a pair of travelers misfires, so he takes Goku out of the airport to come up with another plan.

And that plan is to hustle a carny.   If you can ring the bell on this strongman game, you win 30,000 zeni, enough to buy two tickets to Papaya Island (Konkichi has invited himself along too).   Goku forgoes the hammer and wins the game with his fist.   Well, that was easy.

Then they run into Fortuneteller Baba, who’s apparently just cruising around Yahhoy for fun.    Treat yo self, says Baba.    Konkichi chats with Baba, but then he gets all nervous, like she can see right through him.   He excuses himself to get some juice, but...

He runs into the same three guys he was running from when the episode started.   Long story short, Konkichi owed them some gambling debts, to the tune of 50,000 zeni.   They take the 30 thou he’s got on him, and tell him he can work off the balance by helping them with a little job...

Meanwhile, the rest of the gang is preparing for their own trip to Papaya Island.   All right, let’s do a fashion check here.  Roshi’s wearing the exact same suit he wore to the last tourney, but he seems really anxious about it because he want to look cool.   Bulma asks him what the point is in an old man trying to look cool.   Hey, up yours, Bulma.   Your raincoat and socks look dumb.    I don’t like this outfit, but at least she finally ditched that pink romper looking thing.   She looked like a toddler in that. 

Puar and Turtle are nude, as usual, very classy.   Oolong’s sporting a pink shirt.  Daring choice for a pig-man, but okay.  Yamcha and Krillin are in their blue World Tournament suits, so no problem there, and finally Launch...

Yeah, Launch is wearing what I like to call the Best Launch Outfit Ever.   Black shirt, some sort of army surplus pants, combat boots.    It suits Blonde Launch to a tee, and Blue Launch looks really cute in it too.   Launch isn’t coming along to the tournament because the city air is bad for her skin...

Wait, nvm she’s coming along after all.   Slay, Launch, slay.

Back at Yahhoy, Konkichi got arrested for robbing a bank.   He tries to explain this to Goku.   Okay, so he’s really a sneak thief, sure, and he owed those three guys money, but they only made him take the fall for robbing the bank.   He never actually robbed it.   I’m not sure the law makes much of a distinction there, but okay.   Anyway, he swears to Goku that he never had a friend before, and meeting Goku made him sincerely want to change his ways.  

And you know what, Goku believes him.   So he asks Baba where those three guys are now.   Baba doesn’t do psychic stuff for free, but Goku asks her to be a pal, and she agrees to take an IOU.   I wonder if Goku ever dropped by to clobber Baba’s five warriors again after this to pay the debt?

It doesn’t take long for Goku to track down the crooks.  They thought they made a clean getaway, but their GPS must have been malfunctioning, because they got all turned around and ended up back in Goku Town!

Incorporated Ninteen Eighty Backflip!

Home of the famous white squirrels!  Also car-lifting!

Your destinaton for outdoor wreck-reation! 

So that takes care of that.   Konkichi is truly sorry about betraying Goku’s trust, even if everything turned out okay in the end.    Then this kid he gave a lollipop to earlier at the carnival shows up and gives him a lollipop back.   He even calls Konkichi “bro.”  So it turns out Konkichi can make friends just fine!  

But Goku’s gotta jet.   He missed his flight, so he’ll just have to swim all the way to Papaya Island.   Now, in the dub, this whole episode focused on Konkichi calling Goku “brother”, and it was a bigger deal there.   When Goku learns the truth about Konkichi, he tells him to stop calling him “brother”, and then when after Konkichi repents, Goku calls him “brother” as he says his goodbyes.   It’s kind of sweet, especially since Goku’s actual brother turned out to be a real shitpiece. 

Meanwhile, Tien and Chiaotzu are on their way to Papaya Island, apparently on a ship full of karate guys, sort of like that ferry they used for the Dark Tournament on YuYu Hakusho.    This is a great cartoon.   It really is. 

And that’s the Fortuneteller Baba Saga!   Next up, the waiting is over; here comes the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai.