#nun's farts

[clover-sky]

The pets de soeur (nun's farts) had been baked a bit too much and thus were one with the aluminum plate. The spoon wanted to be in the pic even though it didn't help getting the sweet dough out.

[botched1up1brain]

POV: you became a nun to avoid marriage and now the priest won't leave you the fuck alone

Michah scares me 😨 yandere priest oc by @meo-eiru

[cynthiabertelsen]

Nuns' Farts, or, How Sweet It Is

Why would someone ever call dainty sweets “nuns’ farts?” How unappetizing and disrespectful … But call them that someone did, possibly a few disgruntled novices in a Catalan convent during the Siglo de Oro (Golden Century or Golden Age). Just imagine the young women giggling as they fried the dough, the popping sound of air escaping from the wet dough causing even more laughter. And then sudden…

[bartruto]

i’m supposed to be able to get this certificate in 6 months and i’m already on my third month what drastic change will i make to accomplish it hm

[mostly-sentence-starters]

God of War (2018) Sentence Starters

Add context / edit as you need!

"Now its guard is up!"

"Do not fire, unless I tell you to fire."

"Do not be sorry! Be better."

"You are not ready."

"I haven't been sick in a long time."

"But you told me never to go down there!"

"I can't feel any of this!"

"You live in a tree?"

"But how did you--"

"Nun ya fucking business! Now get in here, I got something for ya!"

"Wow, you really are strong."

"But no one's killed a dragon for hundreds of years…"

"Do not stray from the path."

"I know you're a god."

"It speaks!?"

"I'm going to cut off your head now."

"But we're gods. We can do whatever… we… want."

"Is he eating okay?"

"There are consequences to killing a god!"

"Have you any idea who this is!?"

"He said you could revive him."

"____? Your father was ___ ? Well, that explains a lot."

"Close your heart to it."

"She got a name?"

"I dunno, rude bastard never ask mine so I never asked hers."

"How about I name her 'Fucking Gratitude'!?"

"Behind me."

"Step aside."

"Is the statue lost to us?"

"By the by, he's not wild about it either."

"Yeah… but can you put it down over there? That handle is… filthy."

"How are you here before us?"

"That is not an answer."

"You have nothing to offer me. So take your questions, take your threats, take these two worthless wankers, and piss off!"

"He tortures me, you know."

"No! You destroyed the gate! That was our only way to ____!"

"Well even a blind pig farts up a truffle now and again."

"Have you seen my brother again?"

"What!? I'm on a fuckin' break!"

"Well you already soiled my solitude so you might as well join me."

"I don't need your protection!"

"You will not come for us again."

"No matter what I do or say, you won't stop interfering with my life!"

"You still need to pay for the lifetime you stole from me!"

"I have paid."

"I was just trying to protect you!"

"If seeing me dead, will make things right. I won't stop you."

"Why? Why do you even care? You could have walked away!"

"The cycle ends here. We must be better than this."

"___. He chose this."

"I killed many who were deserving... and many who were not."

"I will rain down every agony, every violation imaginable, upon you."

"I killed my father."

"Well, I guess we're the bad guys now."

"I was not the only parent with secrets..."

"She sent us here, knowing we would find this."

"She saw every step we took before we took it."

"Well that was a waste of a perfectly good apple."

"I have nothing more to hide."

"Can we go now?"

[oneatlatime]

Appa's Lost Days

Dare I hope?

You know, if ten year old me had turned on my TV to watch my weekly dose of Avatar and been greeted with a nearly two minute long uninterrupted sequence of a frightened and distressed animal being mistreated, that TV would have turned right back off again.

I don't buy that a ten tonne bison who has the leverage of his own weight as well as his airbending abilities would succumb to so few people.

Name one other character that Avatar has presented as so thoroughly without any redeeming characteristics. Even Zhao was at least kind of funny. Everything about the chucklehead on the left is rotten to the core. "What's your dad going to do when he finds out we broke his stuff while doing crime?" "Nothing. It's not his stuff; it's previous crime."

I thought beetle-headed was a commentary on their intelligence, but it's actually a description.

I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that I should have waited to get my hopes up until I came to an episode called Appa's Found Days. Is this whole thing going to be a series of near misses with the Gaang?

You know, if I had a nickel for every time an animal companion on this show has been threatened with a trip to the butcher's, I'd have two nickels. In the space of two episodes.

This is not fun to watch guys.

Not if I break you first asshole.

The way this Nurse Ratched type circus guy says "earn it" is chilling.

Of course the Fire Nation would find a way to turn bending into animal abuse. Of course.

a) that cage is way too small b) who knew cabbage suction could be so cute?

Completely unsubtle parallel with the boy here, right down to the complete disregard they show to the threats thrown their way.

Stubborn and wilful are not adjectives I would use to describe Appa this episode, or ever.

Wind buffalo. Wind Buffalo. Really? Was Fart Cow taken?

That's a very relatable facial expression.

That makeup and costume is awful.

Now that's satisfying.

Is the Fire Nation kid voiced by Aang's voice actor?

Nevermind. THAT'S satisfying.

I was right - this episode is Appa always being a step behind the Gaang.

Baby Appas! This almost makes this episode worth it!

It's funny how a single feature can contribute so much to a character's design. Arrowless Aang is just some kid. Let me rephrase that, since such a big part of Aang's character is the fact that he's just some goofy kid. Arrowless Aang is indistinguishable from other kids for the first time this series, because every other time we've seen him on screen he's either the only child airbender with his arrows, or the only airbender left.

Lady monks. Nuns? I don't think I've seen those before.

Appa and Aang share a dreamscape? That could be useful.

There's dumb, there's really dumb, and then there's 'wake a completely asleep and therefore harmless unknown creature with threats of violence' dumb.

Close call for Iroh. Do you think he's suspected that Appa (and presumably the Avatar) haven been in Ba Sing Se this whole time?

Bipedal Appa is strange. A very effective fighter, but strange to look at.

I'm amazed that giant boar thing walked away from that.

And now they're hitting me with an 'Appa's given Up' montage. Someone who works on this show hates me.

*Heroically refrains from ranting about the impracticality of using white fabric for an active warrior's glove.*

"This could be our most important mission yet." Foreshadowing?

Did Suki and Appa actually meet at any point in the Warriors of Kyoshi episode?

Turns out 'Aang' is a magic word.

Appa kisses!

Appa is apparently legally banned from having anything good for more than five minutes. Although it's good writing that they're using a previously established weakness - Appa's shedding - to bring the danger ladies back in.

I guess they have Azula drop the line about her brother to remind the audience of who she is, but surely Suki's like "Who are you? Who's your brother? Why should I care?"

Azula going after the Kyoshi warriors is completely unnecessary right? The Avatar isn't there. Neither are Zuko and Iroh. It doesn't even net her Appa. She's just looking for someone to beat up.

WOW this is bad writing. Like really bad. My Immortal levels of bad.

Would it be too much to ask for the Kyoshi warriors to do even slightly ok against the Azula ladies? Couldn't they at least get a couple of hits in?

Kudos to Suki for essentially sacrificing herself and her warriors to save Appa. 'Most important mission yet' was a bit on the nose.

Out of options, Appa goes home. Ouch.

Someone explain this to me. Air Bison teething ring?

My what a human sounding cough you have buddy.

This is why you don't use Air Bison as guard dogs.

I like what this Guru is saying. Fear displacing trust but not love feels more accurate than how I usually see the consequences of trauma discussed.

The music playing throughout this sequence fits so well. I think it's some sort of metal thing you hit - I want to say a variation on tubular bells, and maybe something Glockenspiel adjacent? It's unlike anything I've heard in this show before and it fits so well that I'm nerding out a bit.

Disney princess Guru. Aang has Disney princess moments too. Maybe it's an Air Nomad thing?

No wonder the monks built a temple here. Even destroyed, it's gorgeous.

And Appa decides to trust again. I love it when an animal visibly comes to a decision about your trustworthiness.

This energy reading stuff makes sense given that Aang and Appa already share a dreamscape.

He IS a great beast. The best!

OH COME ON

Someone whip up a wanted poster for Long Feng: Cattle Rustler. It had also never occurred to me that he was an earthbender.

That flip move with the earthbending platform must have caused Appa to land on his back. I bet that hurt.

One of the times I am very grateful that the closing credits music is so upbeat.

Final Thoughts

@aboutiroh I see why you recommended I save my chocolate for this episode.

The Tale of Momo was really just a preparatory taste of things to come, huh? Almost a microcosm of this episode.

This is the first episode where I had to take breaks while watching. Especially the circus sequence, I think I got up twice to do things like get a cup of tea and stare randomly out windows at squirrels. I didn't even have to do that with Zuko Alone, despite freaking out a lot about it, because at least that episode took breaks from the child abuse to check in with Aang being miserable. This episode was unrelenting.

If I had seen this episode when I was the age of the target audience, this may well have turned me off the show for good. If my Mom had seen this episode, I would have been banned from watching the show entirely. Not a decision I'd agree with, but my Mom is the type of person who banned her kids from watching Bambi.

To watch through all of that unrelenting animal (at best) unhappiness, and still not get Appa back at the end of the episode? That's a bit much. It's not often that this show ends its episodes without at least a little bit of something positive.

Once again, the music did a lot of heavy lifting this episode. The animal noises weren't quite as emotive as the ones in Momo's Tale, but Appa's face is more expressive, and more was shown through his expression than through Momo's, so I feel like this episode had just as much non-verbal animal communication as Momo's Tale.

I think I'm renaming season 2 "the Suki redemption arc." I really didn't like the Warriors of Kyoshi episode, and I didn't like what her character did in that episode. But every time Suki appears in season 2? She absolutely nails it.

The show since losing Appa has taken to wallowing. Even with bright spots like the poetry bouncer, the overall tone since Appa's appanapping has been ever more dark. If this keeps up for many more episodes, it will no longer be fun to watch.

Somehow I don't think this one is going on my rewatch list.

[paparitoffxiv]

Finally got around to drawing Dewlala. Thinking early on about other characters that Lolorito and Papashan would interact with and, given Lolorito’s position (an asshole with a ton of money and power, probably surrounded by ass kissers daily), I thought that Dewlala could be a good fit for a “friend”.

More thoughts under the cut.

Though if you would ask either of them they would NEVER call each other that. Colleagues or co-workers, AT BEST! But the fact is that they are two (I believe) pretty smart people in positions of power who don’t have many other people in the same situation who they can just relax and shoot the shit with.

And given that they probably also have pretty different ideologies and opinions on everything (a capitalist and a nun, I mean cmon), they would also be able to have engaging conversations with and even, maybe, have some pretty personal talks that they wouldn’t be able to have with anyone else (under threat of death to each other if any of it is used against them).

I like that Lolorito would have someone who can call his shit out on him when needed. And someone with whom he can be allowed to show more than just a veneer of smugness and pride.

They wouldn’t exactly be nice to each other; in private, he would call her hag and she would call him a dick fart and they would bicker and talk shit about the rest of the Syndicate over a drink and pastries until they were tired of each other’s faces and then do it again next Tuesday.

He probably donates to the Order. She probably gives it straight to ala mhigo refugees to fuck with him.

He makes fun of her taste in hats; she makes fun of his taste in men. You know, friends!

And of course, from the scene where Lolorito comes clean with Raubahn about the whole Nanamo plot, beforehand Dewlala was nagging his ear off to get it done once she figured things out and so HELP HER she will drag him by the ear if she has to!

[journeytothewestresearch]

Peng Doesn't Like Farts

Fans of Lego Monkie Kid, as many of you may already know, Peng is based on an ancient monster king appearing in chapters 74 to 77 of  Journey to the West (Xiyouji, 西遊記, 1592). In the end of his arc, he is trapped above the Buddha's throne and submits to Buddhism. But you may not know that this very same character appears in a later novel, The Complete Vernacular Biography of Yue Fei (Shuo Yue quanzhuan, 說岳全傳, 1684 CE; a.k.a. The Story of Yue Fei). Peng is exiled from paradise for ... and I'm not joking ... killing a stellar spirit for farting during the Buddha's sermon.

Chapter one of Yue Fei's biography reads:

Let’s talk about the Buddha Tathagata at the Great Thunderclap Monastery in the Western Paradise. One day, he sat on a nine-level lotus throne, and the Four Great Bodhisattvas, the Eight Great Vajra Warriors, the five hundred Arhats, the three thousand Heavenly Kings, nuns and monks, male and female attendants, all of the heavenly sages who protect the Dharma, gathered to listen to his lecture on the Lotus Sutra. His words were like flowers and precious jewels raining from the heavens. But, at that time, a star-spirit, the Maiden Earth Bat, who had been listening to the lecture from beneath the lotus throne, couldn’t bear it any longer and unexpectedly let out a stinky fart. The Buddha was a great, merciful lord, so he didn’t mind even the slightest bit. But don’t sympathize with the Dharma protector above his head, the “Great Peng, the Golden-Winged King of Illumination,” whose eyes shone with golden light and whose back was a scene of auspiciousness. He became angry when he saw the nasty, filthy Maiden Earth Bat, and so he unfurled both his wings and dropped down to kill the spirit by pecking her on the head. The light-point of her soul shot out of the Great Thunderclap Monastery and went to the Lands of the East (China) in the world below to find a mother and reincarnate. She was reborn as a daughter of the Wang clan. She would later marry the Song Prime minister Qin Hui (1091-1155) and come to cruelly kill the righteous (i.e. Yue Fei) as a means to get revenge against today’s enemy. We will talk about this later. Let’s return to the Buddha, who saw what happened with his all-seeing eyes and exclaimed, “Good! Good! It turns out that this is an episode of karma (cause and effect).” Then he called the Great Peng bird to come closer and shouted, “You evil creature! You already took refuge in my teachings. How can you not follow the five precepts by daring to commit such a horrible crime? I don’t need you here; you will descend to the mortal world to pay off your (karmic) debt and wait until you have fulfilled your work. Once that is completed, only then will I allow you to return to the mountain to achieve the right fruit (Buddhist merit).” The Great Peng complied with the decree, flying out of the Great Thunderclap Monastery directly to the Lands of the East to be reincarnated. We will stop here (translation by me). 且說西方極樂世界大雷音寺我佛如來，一日端坐九品蓮臺，旁列著四大菩薩、八大金剛、五百羅漢、三千偈諦、比丘尼、比丘僧、優婆夷、優婆塞，共諸天護法聖眾，齊聽講說妙法真經。正說得天花亂墜、寶雨繽紛之際，不期有一位星官，乃是女土蝠，偶在蓮臺之下聽講，一時忍不住，撒出一個臭屁來。我佛原是個大慈大悲之主，毫不在意。不道惱了佛頂上頭一位護法神祗，名為大鵬金翅明王，眼射金光，背呈祥瑞，見那女土蝠污穢不潔，不覺大怒，展開雙翅落下來，望著女土蝠頭上，這一嘴就啄死了。那女土蝠一點靈光射出雷音寺，徑往東土認母投胎，在下界王門為女，後來嫁與秦檜為妻，殘害忠良，以報今日之讎。此是後話，按下不提。 且說佛爺將慧眼一觀，口稱：「善哉，善哉！原來有此一段因果。」即喚大鵬鳥近前，喝道：「你這孽畜！既歸我教，怎不皈依五戒，輒敢如此行兇？我這裡用你不著，今將你降落紅塵，償還冤債，直待功成行滿，方許你歸山，再成正果。」大鵬鳥遵了法旨，飛出雷音寺，徑來東土投胎不表。

[toooster]

My vocabulary consists of

Are you shitting me

Whore

Bitch

Damnit

Freak

What the fart

Fuck me running

Slut

Hoe

Boobs

Balls

It’s hot as balls

What the shit

Fucking shit

Are you shitting my dick

How the shit

Naur

Nun uh

Rizz

Cooked

Aura

Skibidi

Dildo

Sexy

Dilf

Daddies

Coochie

[inthefallofasparrow]

Good Evening. Are you ready to order?

[cncbb]

Hi, call me Fae! 21, they/them, genderfucky boygirl girlboy puppyboy autistic slut thing

♡ help a disabled slut make rent? ♡

find my posts under #mine

some of my kinks, in no particular order:

petplay, CNC, degradation/praise, humiliation, forced fem, forced masc, gender play, male superiority, 1950s gender roles, bimbofication, dumbification, objectification, intellectual degradation, kidnapping, free use, piss, intox play, forced intox, knives, guns, choking, breathplay, smothering, rimjobs, licking taint/balls, cock worship

I wanna make it clear that all the stuff I post is fantasy. I'm not a woman, and women aren't inferior, and I don't believe in misogyny (but sometimes misogynistic porn makes me cum, okay?)

soft limits: xtian kinks (nuns, priests, etc), fauxest w/ sisters, needles, references to panties, CG/L, being called "kiddo", misgendering (I am NOT your good girl)

hard limits: scat, farting, beast, pro-ana or thinspo shit, feeder/feedee, necro

* a brief note on misgendering and detrans kinks*

as a genderfluid person, I post both forcemasc and forcefem - to me, neither of these are misgendering. they're both just forced gendering depending on how I'm feeling that day. however, that does mean that I do interact with blogs that post detrans kinks. if that's triggering to you, this might not be a good blog for you to follow. I tend to only interact with other trans ppl who post these kinks, and I block actual transphobes and terfs on site. trans rights are human rights!!

feel free to message me or send asks, inbox is open and anons r on! I love hearing from y'all. and you have my consent to be a little bit gross. I'll block if you demand pics tho. either enjoy the ones I post, or send me a few dollars for more, but don't demand shit from me!

PEDOS GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG. IF YOU INTERACT WITH MINORS, DIE. MINORS: BLOCK ME. NO ONE UNDER 18 ALLOWED. I BLOCK ALL AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS. I REPORT IF YOU INTERACT WITH MINORS. GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE.

[jamoncitofail]

Chocolates that Saiki K characters like the most and the ones that they hate according to me (I’ll be mentioning ones that I think are only sold in latam, so I’m leaving reference images at the end):

[all of them are ones that I have tried before, so the ones that I choose for Saiko are uhhhh, not expensive lol]

Kusuo: he loves “three musketeers” and hates “Nucita” (that one technically is not a chocolate but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Nendou: he loves the “Vaquita” chocolate and hates “Chocoretas”, he finest like the mint flavor

Kaidou: he loves “Reese’s” and hates “Ranita Croa”, he doesn’t like the puffed rice

Kuboyasu: he loves “Kracao” and hates with all his soul “Nugs”, he doesn’t like the texture nor the flavor.

Kokomi: she loves “pedos de monja”, not that she would ever tell anyone thanks to the name (nun farts), and she hates “Crunch”

Yumehara: she loves “Carlos V” (especially when submerged in coke) and hates “Mars”

Hairo: he loves “Bocadin” and hates “Milky Way”

Mera: she loves “Freskas” (also technically not a chocolate) and hates “Twix”

Saiko: he likes “Lindt Lindor” but he loves “Cerize” and he hates “Kinder Delice”

Toritsuka: he loves “Kranky” (also not a chocolate) and hates “Hershay’s” dark

Aiura: she loves “kisses” and hates peanut “m&m’s”

Akechi: he loves “Fass” and hates “Hershay’s” almonds (he found out that he’s allergic to almonds because of it)

Suzumiya: she loves “Bubulubu” and hates “Ferrero Rocher” (she almost choked with it once)

Satou: he loves “snickers” and hates “lunetas”

Kusuke: he loves “Huevitos” and hates “Milch”

Makoto: he loves “Cremino” and hates “Larin”

I think that’s all of them, now the images:

(I added even the famous ones because I don’t like doing incomplete things)

[thedaselcor]

French Canadian food that sounds gross if you just literally translate its name but it’s pretty good and probably sounds fine if you describe it (idk it sounded like a fun thing to do)

Nun’s farts: brown sugar and butter rolled up in pie dough

Pig’s foot stew: generally ground pork or ground pork and ground beef rolled into meatballs with onions and slow cooked

Mayonnaise cake: dense chocolate cake (mayo is used instead of eggs and stuff and it makes the cake almost brownie like)

[frumfrumfroo]

So it appears that Kathleen Kennedy is doubling down on Rey being Luke 2.0 space nun addition. And I've heard that no one else from the past films will even be in the Rey movie concluding that DLF has learned absolutely nothing. Now that A Reylo fic turned OG novel is getting it's own TV series and another well known Reylo fic turned OG novel is anticipated to be the next LOTR series. It sounds like they've either surrendered Ben Solo and the concept of Reylo to its community or couldn't care less due to their warped code of ethics until maybe their filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy. And that's a BIG maybe for me. Any thoughts?

I mean, this is exactly what I said they would do barring some massive shake up. Except rather than no appearance at all, I'm sure there will be horrible CGI thrawls of past characters if they actually make this slop. They're not going to stop trying to legitimise this.

They clearly already decided they do not want our filthy reylo money and it's a question for the philosophers if that's because they're so staggeringly headass that they genuinely can't see the fortune being left on the table or if it's because they think we'll taint the franchise with our terrible girl cooties and drive off all the mouth-breathing manchildren who are apparently their desired audience.

The new disney entertainment monopoly seems terrified of romance, probably because a) aforementioned cooties and b) it requires sincerity and vulnerability, and God forbid we have any of that without quashing it instantly with a fart joke.

[lady-of-tearshed]

Hello my dear! Santa has come back to check on you 🎅!

I hope you are in good spirits and excited for your gift soon! To really spread the holiday joy, I have a question! Do you have a favorite traditional holiday/Christmas dish you enjoy?

Oooooh!!! Santa! Hi! 🥹💕

I missed you! I'm a bit sick, but it's November. Everyone's sick in this time of the year. I hope you're doing great as well!

I'm fucking PUMPED to see what you've made for me. AND to discover who you are... to be honest, I'm very curious. 🤣

My favorite christmas dish is... idk if you know what that is, but in French we call it "pet de soeur", which basically translates as "Sister (or nun) fart". I know, I know. The name of this desert doesn't sound appealing, BUT it's a delight. It's a bit like cinnamon rolls, but maple flavored.

Here's what it looks like:

Are you excited about the holidays? Anything planned?

Take care of yourself! I'm sending lots of love and good vibes in your direction. Thank you for reaching out Xx

[newpartnerincrime]

thinking about the time this ex nun went to my mil’s house uninvited unwanted then farted loudly three times in a row and said “i’m serenading you”