#numero uno in my heart and in net

[fishyy-fish]

If swayman and ratthew fight tonight, I will get a tattoo to commemorate it

[azritesx3]

“A Devil’s Love” Chapter 2: Show Me All I Don’t Know

Description: Chloe’s best friend is back, and Lucifer’s charm can’t seem to affect her either. Is she also a miracle child? Or something…more? [Story starts during S2 Ep4, Female Reader Insert]

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AN: Updated March 14, 2020 - Grammar AN: Updated July 14, 2020 - Grammar/Minor changes

Rating: Teen Warning[s]: Swearing

Show Timeline: Season 2 Episode 9

Spotify Playlist /// AO3 Fanfiction Net Wattpad DeviantArt

Tag List: @ayanna-wild​, @anushay1998, @emiwrites3reads​, @i-am-canada-13​, @heart-of-pots-and-pans​, @tinyybiceps, @jessicarene99​, @lucifersnipnips​, @givemebooksorgivemedeath​, @sailor-earth-1

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To say your first couple months back home was a walk in the park would be a big fat lie.

Nothing bad really happened. Well, except when your BFF got in that bad car accident and you swore up and down it had something to do with you, but she pushes you away and says she's fine and can't stand you and Lucifer taking the blame.

Why would Lucifer be taking the blame, you thought. So, you ask him. Like any sane person would do who was overprotective of their friends. If you ended up being wrong about this guy being “good” and “nice”, you had to get him away from Chloe.

But no. He's not bad. Just crazy. What with continuing with his “Devil” shtick and claiming it was one of his “Angel” brothers trying to take what his father, aka “God”, gave him in exchange for a favor.

And you thought you were crazy before, but it wasn't true for you, so why would it be true for him?

Oh, and after that whole fiasco poor Chloe finds out that her real father’s killer has been free all this time. No reprimanding, no worries. Just a cop killer who got to continue his life freely. Turns out the killer was Warden Perry Smith, and he was responsible for many set up kills. You remember the failure you felt when Smith managed to destroy his scent from your hounds. The bastard didn’t get far, though. Maze managed to easily capture him, and from then on became the LAPD’s number one bounty hunter.

But, with all that bad came a lot of good. Not easily, of course. It's hard work trying to find a suitable building in the perfect location for your next veterinarian hospital. You, with the help of your trusty sidekick Alice, managed to find just that though.

Next, while you sorted out the building paperwork and searched for a good construction company, you had to find a place to live. That, thankfully, went much quicker than finding the next “Circle of Life Veterinary Clinic” building.

Chloe kept trying to convince you to move in with her instead of Maze, but you politely declined. You didn't want to be the one who made that badass fighter homeless. Besides, you like having your own space.

And to top all that off, you got your old job back as the Captain of the K9 division of the LAPD. You missed training your dogs & officers, plus having that paycheck, the paycheck from the “COL VC” in New York, and the future paycheck of the next “COL VC” building allowed you to not stress financially.

Currently, you are standing in “COL VC #2” watching the progress come along. You smile as you see how well, and fast, things are going. If this keeps up, you'll be able to open up within the month.

Which means you and Alice need to start hiring people.

You sigh to yourself and rub your forehead, closing your eyes. First things first, you had to find some way to properly thank Lucifer for giving you the name of this construction company.

“They are a fantastic company! Did very fine work in my club. Why not come see for yourself tonight?” Lucifer looked at you like he looked at Alice the first day.

“Not a chance.” You smiled at him and crossed your arms, building up a barrier.

“Oooh, playing hard to get are we?” He licked his lips and looked you up and down, “I like it!”

“Ok. This was obviously a bad idea.” You huffed and started to leave Chloe’s desk.

“Wait, K9!” You stopped and turned back towards him, “I’m sorry, truly.” he looked sincere and placed his right hand over his heart, “Here.” He grabbed the yellow sticky notes and a pen from Chloe’s desk and began to write.

“Just tell the owner that you’re with me.” He handed you the note and smiled, “He'll give you a large discount, I'm sure.”

You looked down at the note and couldn't help the thought of how beautiful Lucifer’s handwriting was, “Thank you, Lucifer.” You looked up at him and smiled, a genuine one this time.

“You’re quite welcome, my dear.” He gave you a genuine smile back, then turned flirtatious again, “Though I would like you to come to my club, so you can see what those constructors are really capable of. It’s so sad their talents will be wasted on an animal clinic.”

“Uh-huh.” You shook your head, still smiling, and walked away.

Your phone’s ringtone knocks you back to the present. The call says it’s Chloe, but when you answer it-

“SOME DADDY KILLER BOY IS GOING TO MAKE ME HOMELESS!” Lucifer’s voice blares through your phone so loud that the workers around turn towards you and you swear your ear is bleeding.

“Sooo, you think the perfect way to stop this ‘Daddy Killer Boy’ is to make me go deaf? Well, you’re doing very well so far.” You bring your phone to your none deaf ear and rub the now deaf one.

“The Detective won’t help me-” you can hear Chloe yelling at him in the background saying to give back her phone. You hear a bit of a scuffle, and can imagine Chloe shaking her head as she gets her phone.

“Sorry about that, Earth. Calling you is the only way I can think of to help Lucifer.” You can tell Chloe is saying that last part to him directly, and can just imagine his eye roll.

“What’s going on?”

“Our new case victim is Dean Cooper.”

“That LA real-estate tycoon guy?”

“Yup. It looks like he died having dinner with his possible killer. The killer looks to have shattered a champagne glass and stuck a shard in Dean's throat.”

“Ouch.”

“Ella’s still at the crime scene trying to piece the glass back together in order to get fingerprints.”

“Oh, Ella.” You smile and shake your head, “What a good little scientist.”

“Agreed, if a bit crazy.” Chloe holds in a laugh, “Well, Mr. Cooper was the one who owned the block that Lucifer’s nightclub is on and it seems like Mr. Eric Cooper, Dean's son, is pretty quick in reclaiming his father’s properties.”

“I see…So I’m guessing he’s suspect numero uno?”

“Yes, but this is why I’m calling you,” Chloe gives an audible stressful sigh, “I just...I can’t seem to keep my mind on this case with the court on Perry Smith right around the corner. Plus, with my mom flying in tonight and Dan being busy with a bomb case-”

“You don’t need to say anymore, Chlo. I’ll take care of this. Just send me the address to the crime scene and I’ll take over.”

“Thank you, Earth.” You can just hear the weight lift off your BFF’s shoulder, “I’ll text you the details right now. I owe you one.”

“This is what friends do for each other, Chloe. You should know that by now.” Before you hang up you can hear Lucifer in the background, “Hurry along, K9! Every minute I get closer to homelessness!”

“Proper thank you, here I come.”

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As you pull up to the crime scene you see the medics carrying away a body bag, aka Dean Cooper. So there will be no need to worry about seeing a dead man, but there is an angry British man heading straight towards you.

“Finally! Does my homelessness mean nothing to you?” Lucifer says, but despite being upset he still opens your car door and helps you out.

“Lucifer you’re, like, a zillionaire or whatever.” You nod your thanks and you both head inside the dead man's house, “I highly doubt you’d let yourself be ‘homeless’ for more than an hour, at most.”

“But this is LUX, K9.” You try to ignore Lucifer’s desperation and come up beside Ella, who was just about to complete the champagne glass puzzle.

“Annnd, that’s how we do it!” Ella manages to place the last piece perfectly, stands up and shoves her fist in front of your face, “Ta’vonlu!”

“A puzzle solver and a Trekkie?” You laugh and smile, “Ella, I’m liking you more and more each day.”

“Woohoo! Fellow Trekkie!” Ella’s hand goes from a fist to the Vulcan greeting and you return it. Lucifer’s eye roll is incredibly loud.

Ella gets back to work on scanning the glass for fingerprints and in the meantime, an officer hands you a folder of all info found about Dean Cooper. As you skim through the words you become disappointed, and impressed. It was amazing that a shark like Cooper had no record whatsoever.

“So, can we go to this baby shark now to arrest him and get my home back?” Lucifer stands in front of you, hands intertwined together in front of him.

“We don’t have any proof with which to arrest Eric.” You look at him as you hand the folder back to the officer.

“He has motive. That's all the proof you need!”

“Actually, you may have more than that!” Ella calls out and you go to her. She points to her laptop screen where it clearly states that Eric Cooper’s fingerprints were on the glass that killed his father.

“There you go! Come on chop chop!” Lucifer pushes you by the small of your back out the door and to your car, “We’ve got a baby shark to arrest!”

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You barley park and shut off the engine before Lucifer is out and heading towards the Cooper building, “Lucifer wait!”

“You know, you drive just as slow as the Detective?” Lucifer stops and waits for you to catch up.

“If by slow you mean ‘following traffic laws’ then yeah.” Lucifer just scoffs, “Look, Lucifer.” he looks at you with a bit of interest, he’s never heard you sound serious before.

“I understand how you’re feeling right now, I do,” you lightly touch his arm, “but Chloe has told me how you get sometimes and let me tell you: threatening to tear this guy up or torture him is not going to help you get LUX back, or this case.”

“Very well.” He returns his hand to your lower back and guides you, “I solemnly promise that the man will remain unthreatened and unharmed.”

The sound of a crash and a car alarm blaring causes you both to stop and turn around.

Eric Cooper lays on top of some poor civilian’s car. His body bleeding from almost every pore.

“Not me.” Lucifer holds up his hands in fake surrender.

“Well, shit.”

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You did miss solving cases. Really, you did.

But this one was turning into a real sack of ass.

Eric Cooper was hospitalized for a full twenty-four hours before the hospital allowed his wife, Christi Cooper, to take him home.

A whole twenty-four hours closer to Lucifer's homelessness, and he would not shut up about it.

You and Lucifer arrive at the Cooper house to question Eric and Christi, but all you two got was another real estate shark’s name, Eleanor Bloom. Plus an extra case of nausea for both of you at the sappy love between Eric and Christi.

Eleanor, it turns out, was a real shark. Making sure Eric wasted no time in selling her that property that his father had been sitting on. That property in question was LUX, and even with Lucifer’s charm she was not giving up that land.

Which pissed Lucifer enough to abandon you with this case. Chloe offered to help, but with her father’s killer’s court so close there was no way you were going to burden her even more. You already swore you would solve this case for her, and you meant it.

You follow up on Eleanor's lead, alone, about some shady numbers found in her accountant's books that looked like someone was hiding money. Turns out that money went to some private investigator Dean had hired to investigate someone, but the man wouldn't tell you who. You had a hunch though.

Your hunch had to be put on hold though as one of your officers comes up to you. He says they got a call about an illegal party happening at a building that was supposed to be abandoned by now.

Of course he would.

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You stand before the “supposed to be abandoned” LUX nightclub with an entourage of your officers, and just sigh.

Here we go.

You have your men walk in first with you close behind, and you can hear the music cut off and people booing as soon as they see your men.

“Awww!” You hear Lucifer’s voice clearly over the crowd, “Stormtroopers have arrived, everyone! Don’t worry I’ll deal with the boys in blue.” Lucifer walks towards the officers, “You are the boys in blue, yes? The fun boys in blue aren’t due for another hour.” He chuckles and shows a wad of cash in front of your main guy, Officer Miller.

Miller just gives Lucifer a side smile and looks to his side. Lucifer follows his eye movement and his smile disappears as you walk up.

“K9?”

“I know him, Miller. I got it from here.” You ignore Lucifer and look to your officer.

“You’re sure ma’am?”

“Oh yeah.” Now you look at Lucifer as you pat Miller on the shoulder, “He’s harmless.” You don’t speak again until all the officers have left, “I got to say Lucifer, I’m disappointed.”

You think your eyes might be deceiving you, but Lucifer Morningstar actually looks ashamed. You don't know why, but you actually can’t stand to see him like that.

“I mean,” you throw your hands up and turn around a full 360, “this is the first time I come to your club and you’ve got no music playing, and no one dancing around with no worries?”

You smile at him, cross your arms and raise a brow, “Tisk tisk. I may have to leave a one-star review afterall.”

“Oh ho ho!” Lucifer's light returns in him, “Well, I can’t have that now can I?” He’s smiling ear to ear now, “TURN IT UP!”

The crowd cheers as the music comes back full blast. Everyone resumes their dancing, drinking, laughing, and you can’t help but laugh right along with them.

“K9!” You turn to Lucifer who gives you that beautiful smile, “I didn't know you had it in you!”

“There’s a lot you don't know about me, Lucifer.” You smile back at him.

“Evidently! Come on,” Lucifer grabs your arm and pulls you to the dance floor.

“Oh no, I really shou-”

“Come on, K9!” Lucifer laughs and drags you to the dance floor, “Show me all I don't know!”

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“Oh, now that’s interesting.” Linda watches you and Lucifer dance away together.

“What is?” Mrs. Charlotte Richards, well actually the body of Charlotte Richards that now belongs to the Goddess of all Creation [aka God’s ex-wife and Lucifer’s mother], looks down at the tiny doctor.

“Oh, nothing much.” Linda looks at her and gives a small smile before turning her attention back on you two, “I just thought of something I have to ask a patient of mine about.”

As Linda drinks her martini the Goddess follows her eye line sight and stares at you dancing with her son. Her eye twitches.

“My son was right about you, Doctor.” The Goddess smiles wickedly, “You are incredibly insightful.”

[theheirofillea]

S E L E C T I O N   A P O C A L Y P S E   W E E K   ~   D A Y  1

hey babes! so i had absolutely no idea what to do for this theme, so i decided to make a little mini edit and just have a rant session hahah because you can never go wrong with rants!  oh yeah quick psa; some of this seems really harsh but in all honesty i love the characters and i just wanted to embrace the theme in its entirety lolol! so please dont take any personal offence! i love you all! <3

1. our leading lady, america singer schreave

also known as america “im doing this for me but im gonna screw up all of your lives as well” singer schreave. like more than once, america has done actions to help herself, but have hurt other people around her. For example, she keeps her romance with Aspen as a safety net during the selection, just in case things didnt work out with Maxon. um, there are many flaws that america has done, but honestly, if i were in her position, i would have done some of the same things, so i dont really have the right to rant about it lol

2. eadlyn helena margarete schreave, aka the princess shining pearl

ok, so i love eady, but some things (whilst reading the heir and the crown) shes done have made me scream considerably. Numero uno; PICKING ERIKKKK. ok so i dont have anything against erik or eadrik shippers or the ship itself, but lemme lay this down on you all. so ive been a hardcore keadlyn shipper since like day one lol. it seemed perfect, theyve known eachother their whole lives, and its so cuuute omg like marlees kid and ames kid falls in love, like its perfect! (ok i know josie and kaden fall in love later so technically its good that keadlyn didnt happen because if it did, then kosie wouldnt have happened so im thankful in that sense). i also kind of felt that (in my personal opinion) there wasnt really enough buildup for eadrik. like im used to ships progressing in like 2 or 3 books, but i feel like eadrik was more rushed than keadlyn would have been. but anyways, moving on. i feel like its pointless for me to rant about her behaviour in the heir but honestly props to @partylikeawordstar because that character development in the crown though was A++++ 

3. aspen ‘go to the palace and forget about me but waaait i love you come back’ leger

haha ok so this is going to be funny. ive forgiven aspen over the past couple of years and with alot of coercion from @skylars-selection but when i was still reading the books i was soooo mad. like honestly, he loved ames, and he pushed her away, but when he realized that america may actually like maxon or may have a possibility of liking maxon, he runs to the palace to watch her and be there for her. he redeems himself through saving maxon and ames during the one though, so its okay aspen! also, him being there for eady was adorbs omg like ahhhh *heart eyes*. he was just sad that his lover was moving on and it was kinda sorta his fault for sending her away. but i love lucepen so im not crying lol (theyre so cuuuute)

thats it for day 1! im not sure if ill be posting tomorrow, it depends on if i have time lol. again, this is probably the first time im posting something so opinionated, but i thought it would be fun! please dont take any personal offence to anything i have said above, im just exaggerating everything (as the theme says lol). thanks again, everyone!! special shoutout to @prince-consort-erik for hosting this week!

[youreghanamissme]

youth camps

There are a lot of things I’m proud about (and equally, many things that I would like to forget at the bottom of an empty pint of ice cream) and participating in Peace Corps-organized youth camps may be the brightest highlight of my time in Ghana thus far. PCV’s do a lot. Some of us facilitate health lessons in local schools, fund animal-rearing projects, help build ICT centers and libraries, build latrines for our community, and get boreholes constructed at our sites, but youth camps are one of the best, most rewarding projects that PCV’s churn out. Sure, it’s not a sustainable venture, but I think it produces sustainable results in the way we make Ghanian youth feel. As finite volunteers, it isn’t guaranteed that we’ll see those results while we’re here, but it squeezes my heart small to think about a grown Ghanian student who reminisces about that one week in JHS when they were compelled to critically think about their future, their wants and needs, their place in the fabric of society and where society’s pushes and pulls fits into their perspective; when they met other students, just like them, but from other communities 50, 100 miles away; when they interacted with deaf students and realized that friendship transcends spoken word.

When I think about that, I'm grateful. This is happiness.

When I recall the connections I’ve made with my campers, I regret forgetting that happiness. It’s so easy to dismiss our successes when our failures are imprinted in our minds like murder scenes–murder of our pride, feelings of self-worth, and consequently, the fear of failure. I try to think about Maya Angelou’s quote in moments like these: “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”

In the past month, I've been a group leader—from set-up to re-pack—of two amazing PCV-organized youth camps.

GLOW/BRO – Girls Leading Our World/ Boys Respecting Others. GLOW/BRO camps are regional camps. I participated in the most recent Northern edition, and let me tell ya what– it was fucking fantastic. It took a few days for the students to warm up to each other, but by the end of it, I wish we had more time. My group named ourselves Golden Royals because our bandana color was yellow. How fitting because these young people are kings and queens in their own right; a PCV in their community felt that they were exemplary and hard-working and leaders that needed a little more polishing.

Not everyone's English skills were on the same level. It was somehow disarming to see the disparity in English comprehension amongst JHS students across the Northern region. It goes to show that there are many elements at play in the Ghana Education System-- the teachers, the students themselves, external pressures (parents, the household chores), and the curriculum. English typically becomes the primary language in the classroom by Primary 4, and many of the JHS students in attendance knew little beyond greetings and survival English. But we needed to converse in English since not all students spoke the same language. Some spoke Dagbani, others Mamprouli, Linkpapang, and Ghanian Sign Language (GSL).

One of the amazing aspects of the northern GLOW/BRO camp was its location. The Savelugu School of the Deaf hosted us, and a good fifteen or so Sav Deaf School students also attended so that there were two hearing impaired student groups in addition to the five hearing groups. Each group also had a Ghanian counterpart—a SHS student or graduate to be a sort of role model (and translator, in many of our cases) to the JHS students.

Camp was set up so that each full day was devoted to a theme: health, business, and gender equality. The Golden Royals ate meals together. We had end-of-the-day group discussions to explore sessions that day, and the conversations within our small groups teased out the nuances of each theme. Sex. Pregnancy. Stereotypes. Self-esteem. Defining Success. Gender norms in Ghana. We tried to cover the big stuff. We made an effort to get as many Ghanian professionals as speakers as possible. It's one thing to have a PCV lead a session, but it's much more powerful for the students to see someone like them—especially women—center-stage, commanding an audience.

I was lucky to have the opportunity to lead two sessions: one on sexual and reproductive health, another on recycling used pure water satchets into zipper bags. The SRH lesson was INTENSE. I talk fast, so it became a funny and somehow laugh-at-myself awkward lesson where I would talk, my co-leader Jenn would translate my Ghanian English into even slower Ghanian English, and my Dagbani Language and Culture Facilitator (LCF) Alhassan would translate what Jenn said into legit Ghanian English with the cadence that the students could understand. No matter how hard I tried to slow down my speed, it was still too fast! It became more like a Q&A session as students became fixated on the STI's (and all the extremely complicated hypothetical situations of contracting an STI) and lost in all the technical terminology. It's kind of a hard topic to smash into an hour and a half... and still leave room to talk about consent and frame the whole discussion within a sex-positivity vibe. Ghanian youth are so used to getting  abstinence-only drilled into them at school because of the cultural climate in Ghana. Sex is taboo, as it is in many cultures, but it's even more scandalous in a country whose population is mostly either Christian or Muslim. Unsurprisingly, teen pregnancy still happens here, like it does in many other countries. We tried our best to impart that it's OK to have sex; just be responsible and mature and make sure that you're ready. After, we had condom demo races where campers competed against and each other as they practiced saying the steps to opening and putting an external latex condom onto a penis demonstrator. When there is a lull at camp, pull out the bag of condoms!

And the sign language interpreters had to sign everything. Kudos to them!

Each day had a mini sign language lesson, and students would ask for more sign words and practice greetings and signing their names... it made my heart swell to see how keen the hearing students were in absorbing as much GSL as they could.

Camp was exhausting, but what a lark it was! It was my first all-around camp. I had group-led day camps before, but I had never been a leader from 6am – 10pm for a week! Despite the exhaustion, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

The Golden Royals Crew.

Some highlights:

Four of us arrived a day early to set up mosquito nets for campers. We didn't realize how potent the insecticide on the new, treated nets was, and you know how it is—folks don't realize how often they touch their face. By the end of the night, everyone's faces and eyeballs were on fire! It was horrible and a little traumatic.

One of favorite campers from my group, Gifty, still keeps in contact with me! She updates me every now and then on her successes in school. My heart melted when she gave a photo of herself to a fellow student in her community who was attending STARS camp to give to me. Printed photos are not cheap and easy to procure in the village, y'all. I was impressed and deeply touched. I can't articulate fully how much of an effect that the gesture had on me. Camp lives on, in a way, even when it’s over.

I still get the occasional phone call and whatsapp message from GLOW/BRO campers :)

The GLOW/BRO dance parties were DOPE AF! These young people had some killer moves. I took mental notes.

STARS – Students Taking Action, Reaching For Success. I tell ya what-- Peace Corps sure loves its strategically-derived acronyms. Whereas GLOW/BRO occurs all over Ghana, STARS camp was on a national scale. This was for the cream of the crop. The best students at their local SHS and JHS were elected by a PCV, and those students were the chosen few to attend camp at the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology (KNUST), the premiere university of Ghana; #1 for the numero unos of our communities. Folks from all over Ghana congregated in Kumasi for this camp focusing on technology, business, health, and art. SHS students were at STARS for a full week whereas JHS students were only there for a few days. We staggered their arrival so that we can teach specific lessons to the SHS students who would in turn conduct teach-back lessons to the JHS students when the latter arrived two days after the former. 

It was an intense week as every minute of every day was accounted for. We were in the big leagues now. Big city, college campus with college students walking around, y’know? We had to make sure nothing funky was going on with our young people. In that regard, GLOW/BRO was a lot more intimate. There was no one else on campus but us. The site was smaller. There were more opportunities for group bonding at GLOW/BRO too. Since I was a JHS group leader again, I only had about three days with my Super Black Stars (punnily and understandably, most other groups also paid homage to the STARS theme) before camp ended. 

STARS was spectacular at encouraging the pursuit of high education. I don’t know if the campers felt the same effect, but the college vibe was a little infectious... like it seeped into my consciousness and my energy by osmosis. STARS did a good job of trying to bring it back to reaching for success, whatever that may mean. Some folks want to be doctors; others want to be fashion designers. How great is that? We had a university student Q&A panel. It was especially powerful to hear from female students who are in STEM share such aspiration and good advice for our female SHS and JHS students. Campers also got to tour the extensive KNUST campus. I woke up reeeal early some mornings in order to go on a short jog/walk and was in awe of how large and elaborate parts of the campus was. There’s a track, a gym, and an art department… I cannot fully describe how cool it was. So many student housing halls, all with their own personality! And there was a mini-mall ON CAMPUS! What?!

All campers got to visit the ICT lab. It was amazing. This was the first time that many of them used an actual computer. There are ICT classes in JHS schools, but it’s all theory. It’s fucking crazy—ICT teachers often roughly draw a desktop on the worn chalkboard and explain how to do things on the computer, like open a Word document, create a folder, or how to bold a sentence. It all boils down to memorization at the JHS level if your school doesn’t have a computer lab. Some students had trouble just moving the mouse. One could really see the difference between the JHS students and the SHS students. The latter were more exposed to computers and could imbed photos or change their font colors with ease in Microsoft Word.

To encapsulate STARS in a few paragraphs is rough. I really enjoyed the reusable menstrual pad workshop PCV McCrady did. We did yoga every day (what a work out for my stiff self!). The food was so good. There were meals where I ran out of soup and continued to eat my banku or fufu ball – pure carb ball, baby! Students learned how to do batik dyeing. Campers tried deep-fried, garlic-y curry eggplant (and hated it, unfortunately!). Professionals in volunteerism, business, and in STEM came to talk to them.

No lie – I was pretty burnt out right before STARS. I had just finished GLOW/BRO and had been busting my booty doing working group stuff (I’ll post on that later). I had just finished the first part of a bee-keeping training and a GRS malaria bed net distribution at my site. I was busy, busy, and busy… but I have never felt so low and alone in Ghana. I was dealing with a lasagna of stress, anxiety, and depression going on a month. I was managing, but barely. The last thing I wanted to do was go to another camp and be pretend-happy and pretend-cheerful. But STARS really brought me up. I am happy I went and met and worked with incredible people and saw a side of Ghana/ Kumasi that I’ve never seen. Definitely had a blast!

Some highlights:

I’ve never purchased a pair of TOMS shoes in my life because they’re expensive af. I also feel that the company culturally appropriates the shoe design of indigenous Chileans, but you can only spill so much haterade… Would you believe me if I told you that my first pair of TOMS are on the receiving end from Ghana? Thanksss, ‘murica! Really though, I don’t believe in the BOGO model of “charity”/ “international aid.” I think that model encourages a handout environment around international aid and takes away from local businesses (I go to a cobbler for my sandals more times than I’ve ever done so in America. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle is a way of life because of necessity rather than mindfulness.)

I felt it was OK to give students free shoes at camp only because it was an isolated event. It wasn’t as if we were dropping them down in a village (something I would not be cool with). I did, however, wish we discussed with our youth more about where the shoes came from and why they were receiving it, rather than just handing it to them like we did. I feel like consciousness about our impact as foreigners coming to volunteer in Ghana is vital in sustainability.

The STARS talent show was lit! I liked how our Ghanian students interpreted talent. You get the usual dancing and singing, but students also told jokes and performed short plays. The group leaders attempted to do the electric slide...

We had an activity where we literally set our “I can’ts…” on fire in a pot. Did I already say that STARS was lit?

I designed the STARS shirts. Schedule an appointment with my agent if you want to meet, bwhahahaha!

I know I share crumbs about struggling here and there on the blog, but that’s just part of life, and by extension, part of my PC experience. Life is a struggle, and I’m a work in progress. Fuck feelings. Sometimes it’s better to just accept circumstances that you can’t change and focus and celebrate the things you can. And camp helped me take a step forward in that direction. It reminded me that I do good work; that I am a good person; that I have friends who care and are there; that there is a world out there that I haven’t seen yet; that so much beauty and joy exists in just hearing “I will miss you” from a student. I fuck loving camp.