#number 2598

[the-fiction-witch]

I Couldn't Find The Words To Say

Media - The Queens Gambit Character - Benny Watts Couple - Benny X Reader Reader - Y/n Rating - Sad Word Count - 2598

 Inspired by - What Can I Say by Carrie Underwood. 

As I sat on the window seat, I gazed out into the world outside, which had been engulfed in a downpour ever since that fateful night. My eyes were red and puffy from the constant crying, but I had given up on trying to dry my tears. The images of Benny's beetle's taillights in the rain kept flashing through my mind, accompanied by each crack of lightning through the summer storm.

There were so many things I wanted to say to Benny, but I couldn't find the right words to express myself. Every movement felt like I was carrying a thousand pounds of pressure as if trying to spin the world the other way. It seemed like no matter what I did, I was fighting against an insurmountable force.

That night had been etched in my mind ever since, and I couldn't shake off the feeling that we were both to blame for how things had ended. However, I couldn't help but feel worse about how I had let it all slip away. It pained me to see him standing there, shouting and screaming into the rain, and yet I kept silent. As he swore to the heavens, I never once opened my mouth to speak.

As I gazed at the white rotary phone on my table, my heart filled with the desire to call him. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was and how much I loved him. It was a daunting task, but I managed to summon the strength to move slowly over to the phone, pick it up, and bring it to my ear. Every step felt heavy and hard as if carrying a weight that I could barely bear.

I dialled three numbers, but before I could finish, I burst into tears and slammed the phone down. I knew deep down that he wouldn't want to hear from me, and the thought of rejection was too much to bear.

I slumped down in the chair, my hand tightly gripping the cold beer bottle. The apartment was eerily quiet, except for the sound of raindrops hammering against the windowpane. The chill in the air seemed to seep into my bones, numbing me from the inside out. My heart felt hollow as if all the emotions had been scooped out and replaced with an unbearable heaviness of regret. That night, I had said so much that I wished I hadn't, and left unsaid so much that I wished I had. The memory of it was like a ghost, haunting me in the darkness. Every time I thought of Y/n's tear-filled eyes, my heart twisted painfully in my chest. But I knew that I was the one causing her tears, even now.

It felt like everything I did was a monumental struggle like I was pushing a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down again. I couldn't shake off the feeling of hopelessness and despair that had settled over me like a thick fog. I found myself staring at the black rotary phone on the table, absentmindedly turning the dial. Every click felt like a stab in my gut, but I couldn't help but think about calling Y/n. I forced myself to get up, my steps unsteady and picked up the phone. As I started to dial her number, my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of my chest. But by the time I had dialled the fourth digit, I knew I couldn't do it. I was too drunk, too emotional, and too afraid of causing even more pain.

As I sat by my fire, I could feel the cold and dampness seeping in from outside due to the incessant rain. In front of me was my small writing desk, where I had placed my best paper, ink, pen, and pencils. I had recently received some advice to pen down everything in letters; every little detail of what had happened, how I had felt, and everything I wanted to say but never did. As I started writing, I realized how difficult it was for me to express my emotions and put all my thoughts on paper. The weight of regret for everything I had done and how hard it was for me to make amends was overwhelming. I still loved Benny deeply, even after all that I had done to hurt him.

Despite my struggles, I continued to write, trying to find the right words that would convey my feelings accurately. Many times, I had to start over because the words didn't seem to be enough, and the emotions were too strong to describe. The many failed attempts resulted in a pile of crumpled paper scattered all over the floor.

Finally, I managed to write beautiful letters that I looked over and re-read many times. I glanced at the little white rotary phone on my table, thinking about how nice it would be to call Benny and read out my letters to him. But every moment felt like agony, and I couldn't bring myself to make the call. Tears flooded my eyes as I slammed the phone back onto the table in frustration.

Unable to bear the pain any longer, I sealed up my letters, brought them to the fire, and tossed them in, watching everything burn up. It was a symbolic gesture of letting go of my past mistakes and starting afresh.

I was lying in bed, trying to lose myself in a book, but my concentration was shattered. My mind kept wandering to the empty space on my bed, the side that Y/n used to sleep on. Even though she wasn't there, I couldn't bring myself to lie in that space. The memories of her were too fresh and vivid. The space between us felt wider than ever. I kept seeing her there, her silhouette in the covers, smelling her perfume on the pillow. It felt like she was still there with me, haunting me in my own bed.

I looked around the room and noticed how much of a mess my apartment had become. Clothes were scattered around, dishes piled high in the sink, and the floor was littered with papers and books. I knew I had let myself go, but I couldn't bring myself to clean up. I was lost in my thoughts, unable to focus on anything else.

I wanted to say so many things, but I kept them buried in my pillow. I was feeling lonely and helpless, and I needed someone to talk to. My eyes fell on the phone, and I forced myself out of bed to pick it up. I dialled a number, the one that used to belong to Y/n, but the first ring echoed in my head, and I slammed the phone down. I couldn't do this, not this late.

I sat on my sofa trying to make sense of everything while the rain still poured, that night. I couldn't escape facing it. It was a simple night like most others, Benny was home from his tournament with a refreshed title as US champion, so we went out to celebrate. We went out for a nice dinner, and it was all so sweet and perfect, it couldn't be guessed what was coming later. We decided to go for a drink after dinner, stopping at a local bar close by. We drank for a while sharing kisses and sweet words at the bar between our drinks, I begged him to come dancing with me but he refused. Dancing never was Benny's kinda thing, I begged and pleaded just this once. So childish looking back. Until those fateful words were uttered... words that changed everything.

"You can go dance without me, I'll be here you go have fun." so dismissively,

Of course, I pouted but I did go, I went and danced on my own to the sweet music my vision hazy from my drinks, but I wasn't alone for long. At first, when I felt the man dancing with me I thought it was Benny but I caught his eye at the bar proving it wasn't him I was dancing with but some stranger. Benny didn't look happy about it so I moved away and continued to dance alone, but when I looked back at Benny... he wasn't alone. A girl had taken my seat and the two were chatting getting fairly close, I glared but he didn't look at me. So I went back and danced with the stranger to make Benny jealous. The guy was weird and handsy, and more than once I had to try and stop him in my drunken state. But when I looked back I saw her kissing him. Jealous burned me so I grabbed my bag and stormed out crying already as I went out into the now rainy streets. But Benny followed.

"What the hell was that!"

"Me!"

"Yes, you! What the hell was that for!"

"Me! I wasn't doing anything!"

"Weren't you! I saw you! Grinding up on that bastard!"

He was right to I went silent,

"I saw you, humping, grinding, he had his hands all over you, any more he would have been throwing you against the wall and raw dogging you in front of everyone! what the hell! You're my girlfriend! You don't even let me dance with you like that!"

"You never want to,"

"Ohh so if I go dancing with you I'm allowed to fucking dry hump you in the middle of the bar! Or is that just for strangers?"

"why are you screaming at me you kissed her!"

"Ohh for- I was telling her I had a girlfriend,"

"We're you?"

"I was. something you neglected to tell your dance partner I bet,"

"She had her tounge down your throat!"

"Yeah, and I told her to piss off!"

"And I told him"

"Did you 'cause you looked pretty close to me!"

"Do you not trust me!"

"No! I don't why would I trust you when I see you grinding up on some stranger,"

"Why would I trust you when your deep throating some bar bitch!" I cried,

"Fine. if you don't trust me. Fine. Go home!" He yelled grabbing his keys from his pocket,

"Fine, go! snog half the girls in New York for all I care!" I yelled, "This is over!"

"Fine by me!" He yelled as he climbed into his car started up and drove off without a word, the sight of his taillights disappearing in the rain as he left me stranded. The moment he was gone I regretted everything now all I wanted was to say I was sorry. I looked at the phone but I couldn't even move.

I sat at my table trying to play chess but my mind couldn't stop thinking about... that night. It had all been so perfect I came back to her waiting for me and I gave her all the hugs and kisses telling her how bad I missed her while I was gone. We went out to celebrate my victory and she was as sweet as sugar, after dinner we went out for a drink. We both drank far too much but we were both in a flirty giggly mood likely excited about going back and having fun after I'd been gone for six months. she wanted to dance as always, she loved to dance but it's never my kinda thing, she begged and pleaded so I gave in.

"You can go dance without me, I'll be here you go have fun." I gave her cheek a small kiss, I know she loves to dance I'll just slow her down.

She went and began her dancing I had my drink and kept an eye on her, she really is an amazing dancer I just wish I could keep up with her. I spotted some guy eyeing her up so I glared in his direction but that didn't deter him, he went over and danced with her and I couldn't hold back my glares. She saw me but before I could go over or see what she did A girl sat in Y/n's seat,

"Ohh someone's sitting there," I told her,

"Not right now," she cooed, "what's your name?"

"Uhh Benny,"

"Lina, you're really cute."

"Uhh thanks but I have a girlfriend,"

"Oh? she the invisible girl in this seat then?" she chuckled,

"No, no she's dancing, but I am very much taken you're better putting your moves somewhere else."

"The Y/H/C?" She asked looking to the dance floor,

I looked and my blood boiled with jealousy seeing him dancing with her, He had his hands all over her, grinding up on her practically dry-humping her on the dance floor! "What the hell-" I began,

"She seems busy, how about I make you busy too," she cooed grabbing my neck and pulling me to kiss her, I did kiss back for a second or two but I forced her away I looked and saw Y/n storming out,

"I said no." I told the girl before I followed Y/n out into the rain, "What the hell was that!"

"Me!" she got defensive immediately like she'd done nothing wrong,

"Yes, you! What the hell was that for!"

"Me! I wasn't doing anything!"

"Weren't you! I saw you! Grinding up on that bastard!"

She went silent, as she always does...

"I saw you, humping, grinding, he had his hands all over you, any more he would have been throwing you against the wall and raw dogging you in front of everyone! what the hell! You're my girlfriend! You don't even let me dance with you like that!"

"You never want to,"

"Ohh so if I go dancing with you I'm allowed to fucking dry hump you in the middle of the bar! Or is that just for strangers?" I yelled both of us getting soaked through by the rain but I was so angry at her I couldn't stop,

"why are you screaming at me you kissed her!"

"Ohh for- I was telling her I had a girlfriend,"

"We're you?"

"I was. something you neglected to tell your dance partner I bet,"

"She had her tounge down your throat!"

"Yeah, and I told her to piss off!"

"And I told him"

"Did you 'cause you looked pretty close to me!"

"Do you not trust me!"

"No! I don't why would I trust you when I see you grinding up on some stranger,"

"Why would I trust you when your deep throating some bar bitch!" she began to cry,

"Fine. if you don't trust me. Fine. Go home!" I yelled grabbing my keys,

"Fine, go! snog half the girls in New York for all I care!" she yelled, "This is over!"

"Fine by me!" I yelled as I got into my car, if she really doesn't want me fine I'll go she can do whatever she wants, I watched her crying in my rearview mirror as I drove away and the moment I left I knew I fucked up.

The memory of it all makes me feel so shitty, we should never have gotten so angry at each other if we just talked like adults and if we both hadn't been such jealous idiots... none of this would have happened... we're both to blame. And I've never regretted anything more in my life. I looked at the phone next to me but I had to I grabbed it and dialled her number listening to it ring.

"Hello?"

"Y/n?"

"Benny?"

"Yeah... I uhh" I sighed before I let it all out, "I love you, I love you so so much I regret everything I said please... please I am so sorry."

"I love you too, I'm so sorry-"

"It's okay, it's okay. Please just come home... please... we'll talk it all out once you're here but... please come home, Y/n."

"I'm on my way." 

[lilolilyr]

Reader Wordcount tag - April

January, February & March

I just spent half an hour going through my history, adding my external source bookmarks, subtracting my 'to read' bookmarks etc... and apparently I have read something between 1mil400k and 2mil300k words last month!

Tagging everyone who sees this and is insane enough to go look through their Ao3 history :))

My Ao3 history March 2024: 2757+18225+1456+8301+12275+6971+1214+2182+1045+10154+34403+5649+11818+32509+1508+1997+2006+12257+1021+4502+11753+4794+819+5887+4923+865000+500+1803+2783+2429+5402+753+3232+6704+6673+2386+19827+2132+19418+7333+59415+11818+1503+12046+2227+5073+3304+32193+4323+10955+3680+5780+3451+3689+10510+15443+8032+12285+4176+3774+208882+1436+2995+2600+30000+2307+86+10560+2105+11813+48360+592+404+6319+2770+821+1738+3325+52+88468+78101+6780+31630+3589+3991+208558+5504+80+1034+16257+2965+4202+4481+16831+1075+40827+4080+4390+1492+6457+9272+7963+6482+12347+8018+1765+3895+45593+10832+1730+14534+1038+3788+1809+1796+39243+518+1434+3497+4198+3465+1487+2357+4598+3772+30+20391+8554+13051+625+7621+2561+1003+2395+106610+2397+1175+32757+1416+1102+1545+1915+65845+3882+2825+9454+92448+41603+990+70458+14+360646+28775+29793+29012+7385+5618+2598+2928= 3.383.288

'to read', 'to continue reading' and 'don't read' bookmarks': −4753−29012−7385−5618−2598−2928−35002−92448−9454−252116−2397−9922−14534−45593−6457−40827−16257−1034−3774−6485−78101−11818−10510−34403−10070−865000−2105−39243−48360−402442−39243−106610−20391−4481−40548−78101−15443−34403= −2.429.866

'external source' bookmarks: 21000+69000+81000+113000+3000+5000+51000+6000+33000+39000+10000=431.000 (suspicious that so little. I think I missed some)

3.383.288−2.429.866+431.000=1.384.422

But apparently a bunch of the numbers I subtracted don't have a corresponding identical number in my history?? Maybe I bookmarked some series to read, in which case I may or may not have clicked on some or all works in the series... Not gonna try to figure that out. Anyway 4753+252116+6485+78101+34403+10070+39243+402442+40548=868161words which I may or may not have read

1384422+868161= 2.252.583

@toboldlynerd thx for letting me live blog spam you with the math xD

[maitreychauhan]

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[yourkeeperoftherunners]

A Brief Commentary on Clothing Construction

I’ve seen a lot of people on here and other social media platforms discuss fashion, especially why things cost so much and why our favorite celebrities spend so much money on expensive brands or goods. I know for many people it’s shocking to see someone wearing something that can cost a month’s rent or even the down payment on a property or car for a single item, but keep in mind the following factors:

Your favorite celebrity was probably borrowing/renting the clothes for free. Luxury brands are striving to get likeable role models wearing their clothes, which in turn spurs their fans and other individuals in that age group to buy or consider their brand.

A stylist probably chose that clothing item or brand so the celebrity looks modern and pulled together. These people are paid to make celebrities look good and photo-worthy – while they may take input from their clients, they’re dressing the celebrity to fit an image.

Based on the celebrity’s profession and net worth, they may have been purchased with their funds based on their personal taste.

Regardless of the reasons, I know many balk at the price tags of things and wonder why spend so much when you can get something cheaper. Below the cut, I delve into some of my learnings from sewing and clothing construction courses I’ve taken, plus general observations I’ve made as I’ve done my own projects and information I’ve read. Please note I am not an expert in this field – these are my personal thoughts.

Back in the olden days, people either made their clothes at home (sewing was a practical skill taught at a young age) or if you had money, you paid a tailor to make you clothes based on your measurements. It wasn’t until the 20th Century when clothing that was made and ready to purchase and wear was sold in designated clothing shops and boutiques. (Ready-to-wear)

Sewing as a skill has evolved throughout the recent years – before the invention of the sewing machine, you sewed by hand, which is a tedious act that requires focus and patience. Modern sewing machines nowadays can create beautiful rows of even stitches that will stay in place with every tug, pull, and stretch that the garment goes through. (Also it requires less time to assemble pieces of fabric into something wearable.)

Rundown of Sewing Methods/Machines

Hand sewing: Takes the longest, requires a steady hand, and a lot of patience and practice to achieve. Ideal for small fixes (Ex. Loose buttons, small holes in clothes, etc.) in a pinch. Often fashions houses will employ this technique when applying a decoration or design treatment to highlight the craftsmanship. (The latter may contribute to a higher price as this cannot be achieved by a machine – often an individual or artisan is doing this one by one.)

Basic Sewing Machine: Good for the home sewer, pre-programed with basic stitches and sewing functions. Anyone from a beginner to an expert can use one. Most of the models are digital and have screens where you tap to adjust the stitch size, width, and type before using a foot pedal to make the machine start sewing. Typically these are suited for lightweight and medium fabrics – exercise caution and care if sewing with heavier duty fabrics like furniture upholstery and leather. (The latter will require special needles.)

Industrial Sewing Machine: Like the name indicates, these are for factories who produce tons of clothing on a regular basis. They are robust machines that can sew any type of garment with any fabric with few errors or issues. There are a few available for regular home sewing purposes, but keep in mind these are going to be bigger and may require more space.

Serger: If you’ve ever seen the hem on a t-shirt and turned it up to see a complex network of threads intertwined in the back, while 2 parallel lines are visible on top, this was done on a serger machine. Often these are in factories and they create finished seams in garments, creating a cleaner look inside the garment. (Also they reinforce the areas where pieces were sewed together – the complex network of threads helps to keep those areas sewed together.) There are home versions of these machines, but smaller.  

Reasons for Higher Cost

Where was this made? Every garment has a tag that states where your clothing was made. If your clothes were made in a first or second world country, chances are the costs are higher to produce that garment, based on wages for the workers, conditions, etc. Third world countries have different labor laws and it’s cheaper to outsource goods – this is why many people will see Made in China/Vietnam/Thailand/etc. on cheaper clothing.

What materials were used to make this? Synthetics like polyester, nylon, and some viscose blends are manmade and they’re cheaper to manufacture. Natural fibers like cotton, silk, and wool came from plants and animals – depending on a variety of factors including weather and conditions where the fiber was produced, the cost of natural fibers can fluctuate based on demand and availability of raw materials.

How was it constructed? Study the seams and the decoration application. One of the basic things they taught me in clothing construction was a variety of seams, from zigzag to French seams. Flat fell seams and French seams require more time to complete and finish than a zigzag seam. The high end designers tend to use these last two seams, along with serger finishing for a clean look. If you’re a woman/identify as one, you may notice some rounded seams in the chest areas of dresses, blouses, and other fitted apparel – these are called princess seams and they’re added to help the fabric lie/drape around your chest in a flattering way. (They can be tricky to construct but they can elevate and improve the fit in a garment – another detail you may find in designer clothing.) If you notice that something is lined (inside of a jacket, inside of an evening dress, etc.), that may be a contributing factor to the cost. Essentially, you’re making a thinner/lighter “shell” of the item to put inside the main garment to give it a more professional finish and feel. In many cases for jackets, linings hide seams and the person wearing it will have something softer against their skin. (Ex. Sports letterman jackets are usually made of wool/wool blend , but the main body of the jacket is lined with a satin or silk fabric so it’s gentler on the wearer’s body and makes it easier for them to slip their arms into it.)

Misc

Leather can be difficult to work with. Based on the animal your hide came from, how old it is, and the treatment done to the leather, prices can vary on leather goods. Those who work in the material tend to make a draft version in a cheaper fabric (a muslin) before they start sewing because once you put a hole in leather, it cannot be removed/disappear like a knit or a woven. No two hides are the same and every single one will have imperfections, unless the designer cuts or treats the leather in a way that hides those imperfections. The trade off with this material is that it is very durable and with proper TLC can last for a long time. (You’ll often see it for motorcycle and biker apparel because it will protect the wearer if they fell from their bike and not rip open.) Doc Martens are known for being made of very stiff leather that requires patience (and pain in many cases) to break in and mold to your feet – the original intention of these shoes was a practical, long-lasting utilitarian shoe for the worker that would protect their feet while working.

Modern clothes are colored with synthetic dyes, which is how you can achieve vibrant colors in a broad spectrum of shades. Anything made with a natural dye (from plants) will have a less vibrant shade, unless the garment has been dyed multiple times to get a deeper/richer hue. Often the natural dyes will be in more neutral colors and the dye job may look uneven, depending on the treatment/process. (Ex. BTS’s RM wears a lot of clothing from Visvim, many of which were dyed using veggie and plant-based dyes, which are gentler on the earth.)

Denim has changed, due to material availability and a broad range of body types in consumers. Previously denim was 100% cotton and was stiff – often it required many wears to soften the denim and mold it to fit your body well. With people being different shapes and sizes, majority of denim seen in regular retailers will have higher percentages of elastic and synthetic fibers that are stretchy to accommodate different wearers. The elastic and synthetics are more forgiving to those with curvier figures and they won’t be as stiff to wear off the rack. (Most Western brands utilize this material composition as it allows them to sell their pairs to a wide range of consumers.) In contrast, Japanese selvage denim is constructed with a higher cotton content and minimal elastic/stretch and in some cases is dyed with real indigo plant dyes. (Western brands are rarely utilizing true indigo dye and rely on a manmade version to achieve the denim blue color.) Japanese selvage denim will have a stiffer feel and will take time to break in, but the pairs may last you longer as there’s less elastic fiber content. (Over time, elastic stretches out and with frequent washing and drying at high temperatures, fibers snap and break, often resulting in the jeans losing their shape and looking baggy.)

[sugar-petals]

interesting asteroids to look up in your natal chart

➝ use the number to find it in an extended chart selection 

3 Juno — your marriage and commitment

46 Hestia — your home life

433 Eros — how you fall in love

399 Persephone — how you retreat

1108 Demeter — your relation with food

2 Pallas — your wisdom

3361 Orpheus — your obsession and grief

78 Diana — your independence

4450 Pan — your relationship with nature

3671 Dionysus — how you indulge

7328 Casanova — your flirting style

3989 Odin — your personal power

76 Freya — your gift of sorcery

1388 Aphrodite — your brand of beauty

1862 Apollo — the talents that make you beam

80 Sappho — your poetic side

42 Isis — your caring side

1923 Osiris — how you regenerate

2598 Merlin — your magical skill

9499 Excalibur — how to find your breakthrough

1198 Atlantis — a forgotten wisdom

6123 Aristotle — how you break your delusions

5450 Sokrates — your conversational skill

5451 Plato — your world view

11911 Angel — your heavenly task

tip: the houses you find them in represent the areas in life where their influence is felt the most. conjunctions with chart angles and planets (esp sun & moon) give prominence to an asteroid as well.

[aureumjeon]

hush (m) jjk

pairing; jungkook x reader

genre; established relationship, college au.

warning; public indecency, exhibitionism, exhibition kink, tit sucking, jungkook loves your tits, fingering, degradation, pwp really.

word count; 2598

summary;

➜ when you invited your boyfriend to a study date at the library on a Friday night, studying was your only intention. Of course, Jungkook always had a knack of ruining your plans.

a/n; now that this is out of the wayy, i will now be working on my money matters prequel! i hope you look forward to that one! 

"For the last time, kook," you discreetly pushed off his arm around your torso, hand comfortably purchased on your clothed breast. "I called you here to study with me, not mess around."

He only let out a small airy grunt in reply, not caring about a single word you just said. The wooden legs of the chair he was situated on dragged across the gray carpeted floor as he moved closer to you, once again sliding his arm around your body and fixating his hand back to its previous position.

"J-jungkook..." You whined as you felt his slender fingers gently knead at your mound, even with a bra on, he could sense how hard your nipple has become at his lingering touch. The words that tumbled out your mouth said no but your body language says otherwise. The blunt edges of your teeth painfully dug into the soft flesh of your bottom lip while you tried your best to suppress the needy moans wanting to escape.

"Tell me to stop." A hint of challenge lacing his tone with the slight curve of his lips. He knew how much he affected you; how his honey slicked voice crawled under your skin and shot straight to your core. 

Exhibitionism wasn't on top of your list but it was on his. 

Although no matter how much he wanted to do bad things to you under the prying and watchful eyes of those around you, your consent has always been and always will be his priority.

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop." jungkook was growing impatient by the second, you can tell by how hard he was squeezing at your breast.

"D-dont--" you faintly mouthed, burying your face in the curve of his neck. His musky scent overpowering your senses and doubling the wetness forming between your legs. "s-stop..."

"Fuck" he cursed under his breath, you were too fucking good for him. He temporarily released his grip on you and plotted his next move.

At this point, the only thing you could do is hope your mouth stays close like your eyes.

You felt the hem of your skirt hitch up as his right hand roamed the expanse of your quivering thighs. Just as you were about to close it shut, he jammed his hand in between them.

"I don't think so, baby." It came out as a whisper and got you squirming in your seat. He scanned the premises of the facility, the number of people inside could be counted with the fingers on his hand. It was pretty empty considering that it was a Friday night, most college students would rather hang out at a party than study in library.

In the eyes of an outsider, the two of you only looked like a normal couple. A loving boyfriend letting his exhausted girlfriend take a nap on his shoulder. How sweet. 

What they don't know won't kill them and if they find out, well, it'll only rile him up more.

At the back of your mind, you thank god that you chose a spot facing the wall. If you didn't, the person sitting on the table parallel to yours would have a front row seat to your dripping pussy.

"You like that?" Jungkook's hand found its way to your clothed core, trailing the pad of his fore and middle finger over the newly moistened patch. "God, you're always so fucking wet for me, y/n."

The heat and wetness of your aroused cunt have gotten to him, a noticeable tent forming at the crotch area of his sweatpants. He quickly grasped your hand and pressed it against his growing erection.

 "Shit..."

 You shut your eyes even tighter and braced yourself for what was about to come next when he began pushing your underwear to the side.

A breathless whimper was all you can utter at the sensation of sudden intrusion, his middle finger shoved inside your hole down to the last knuckle.

"Always so tight, you dirty slut. Clenching around my finger like vice grips."All his words came out as a mumble, barely audible, still it sent shockwaves of electricity throughout your entire body. Nobody does it like him, only jungkook has got this much control and power over you.

"Be good a girl for me and unbutton your shirt, I want to suck on those perky nipples of yours."

Somehow your breath gets caught up in your throat, and you're suddenly gasping for air. How can his presence be so suffocating and enticing at the same time like you're drowning in a deadly sea with a lifeboat next to you but you decided you’d rather die and be enveloped by the waters. 

You do as you're told, unbuttoning your blouse half way through just enough for your boobs to poke out.

"Damn," Jungkook kissed your forehead, giving you ample time to hold your head steady after leaning on him for a while.

He then laid his head cradled by his arm on the surface of the table, his face conveniently positioned in front of your chest. With his same hand, he hooked a finger under the front band of your bra and tugged it downwards. Your plump breast bounced deliciously against the force and you can see the way his pupil blew up with lust and fervor.

"Will never get tired of these." Jungkook confessed, dipping his head closer and taking in one pert nipple in his mouth. Slowly and surely, he was taking time sucking at your sensitive nub. His idle hand took note of the nipple he physically couldn't reach with his mouth and did its purpose. Pinching and tweaking.

The wet feeling of his mouth, tongue and fingers on your burning skin had you bucking your hips into his stagnant finger. Whining and yearning for any sort of friction.

"Oh," he smiled while still latched onto your nipple, "I'm sorry, I forgot." He sunk his teeth into your hardened bud; the ardent sting has got you curling your toes inside your shoes and hands gripping at the edge of your seat.

"They don't call you golden tits for nothing," he proudly boasts, not his fault that his girl was one of the hottest chicks in the entire university.

He slid another finger in you, pumping it at a leisurely pace while his hot mouth was still connected to your breast. Lapping and nipping at the bud and the skin around it, eliciting goosebumps to emerge on every square inch of your body.

 "J-jungkook.."

 "Yes?" He cooed, slightly tilting his head up and peppered your collarbone with kisses. Occasionally stopping and sucking at a certain spot until a purple bruise blooms.

You deduced Jungkook was certainly taking his time. His digits stroked your aching walls at an excruciatingly timid pace, thumb not even meeting your clit once. At this point getting caught was the least of your worries, the only goal you wanted to achieve was to come.

"Please, please, please..." You lowered your head and rested your burning forehead against his cheek while he continued marking your unmarred skin. "I w-want to cum,” 

You almost choked on your own spit as you fought the sob crawl from your throat when he shoved his digits deeper into you, the tip of his finger caressing the rough spot inside your sex. Your back arched on the backrest of your chair and you held your head from falling back too far. 

“Hmm?” his hooded gaze stared at your face inches away from his, a recognizable grimace inscribed on it. Your brows furrowed, almost meeting at the center of your face; eyes shuttered, scantily masking the ache you were feeling; cheeks flushed hot, dusted with a carmine tinge. Your lips trembled, even when set in a thin line. Jungkook knows this ‘face’ of yours all too well, he’s well aware of what he needs to do.

“Please…” this was too much, you could feel every muscle in your body tense up and knot to the point where it started to hurt. Your hands shook uncontrollably when you clutched onto Jungkook’s shoulder, nails digging into his jacket, pleading, begging.

“Jungkook…” Tears began gathering at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill if you were still denied of your craved orgasm. 

“Y/n,” You opened your eyes only to see Jungkook staring intently at the distraught mess you’ve become. “Hush.” With a lecherous smirk etched on his pink lips and an amorous glint in his deep-set brown eyes. 

His wrist snapped and his calloused fingers recklessly propelled into the deepest depth of your pussy. The clogs in the pit of your stomach finally began turning, and you felt your strained shoulders loosen up as he continued to assault your starving cunt with his straight jabs.

You steadied your breathing as best as you could and carefully observed those around you. Thankfully they were still busy minding their own business to notice yours. You leaned back in your seat and angled your hips so that your boyfriend’s fingers can sharpen its thrust into you. A relieved and blissful sigh escaped your lips as you revelled at the new and exhilarating emotion this was bringing you. 

“Such a needy slut.” Jungkook chuckled, watching his digits get sucked in by your narrow cavern and every time he pulled out, it got even more coated with your slick juices. He suddenly pulled out completely, making you clench painfully around nothing and you wail a little too loud. Your hands came flying straight to cover your mouth.

Jungkook’s clacked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, eyes piercing through yours “If we get caught, you won’t be able to cum, understand?” He inserted his two fingers drenched with your essence inside his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and sucking on it until it was bone dry, releasing it with a lewd pop. “Now, be a good slut and shut that dirty mouth of yours or else.” You know Jungkook well enough to know what me means with ‘or else.’ He’d have no trouble depriving you of your orgasm and walking out on you this instance if you commit even the slightest mistake.

 You obediently nodded without hesitation. 

 “Good girl.” He gently stroked your tear stained cheeks with his thumb and placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose. “Now,” This time he advanced three fingers past your dribbling folds and the stretch is indescribable, divine even. The way his long digits mercilessly scissored inside you, going against the natural reflex of your walls to constrict them has got you soaring near your anticipated high.

“Fuck,” he groaned at the way your balmy velvet walls wrapped around him perfectly. “You’re even tighter than before, fuck.” He imagined his dick in place of his fingers being hugged and milked by your incredible pussy for all it's got. The mere thought of him pounding into you made him harder. Shit, he can do that later. Now, he needs to give you what you want, what he came here to do. 

His lips found your neglected stiff nipple, latching onto it and sucking like a starved infant. 

"J-jungkook.." You sighed, droplet of sweat forming at your temples. The library was fully air-conditioned, but you were sweating buckets like you've been sitting in a sauna for the last ten minutes. Damn this boy and what he does to you. 

The force and accuracy of his fingers pushing into you and abusing your sweet spot while suckling on your bud has sent you spiraling into a delirious state. It's so tight, the coil in your stomach. "I'm so close…" 

 "Then come."

 He coaxed, tripling the speed of his digits rubbing against your convulsing walls. You never ceased to amaze him, if you were already tight before, he doesn't understand how your pussy is still clamping down on his fingers. "Fuck… Your cunt is fucking amazing..."

It doesn't take long before your eyes start rolling to the back of your skull and images of white stars fill the back of your eyelids. Relief, sweet relief flooded your body the moment you came. 

Before any of your juices got the chance to dribble down your thigh, Jungkook slides his finger across your swollen slit, scoops it up and shoves it back into you making you squeak in surprise.

 "You're not gonna let any of that go waste until I eat it out of you, understand?" 

A sly wicked grin appeared on Jungkook's face and you knew exactly what that meant. 

 --

 The jog from the library to Jungkook's apartment was the longest five minute in your life. Every part of your body, even the backs of your knees were coated with a thin sheen of sweat. Fuck all of this, you couldn't wait any longer. You slithered your body between him and the door and attached your hungry lips to his jugular. Your manicured fingernails scratching and digging into his back with much impatience.

"Fuck baby." Jungkook groaned as you nibbled and licked the expanses of tense his neck. Tasting the concoction of his sweat mixed with his favourite scent from Hugo boss. God, you loved how he tastes. How hot his skin becomes when it collides with yours, and how he makes you into the horny mess you are now. Fuck, you love everything about this man.

"So impatient." He fumbled with the keys for a few seconds before finding out it was unlocked. Hyung must have left if unlocked since he knew I was coming home, he thought. Paying no mind to it, their apartment building had great security anyways. 

"Kookie," you moaned, desperately trying to peel off his restricting clothes from his body while he did the same to yours. "Want you now." You mumbled, gliding your hand over the taut muscle of his abdomen.

Jungkook captured you by the waist, allowing you to wrap your legs around his torso. Taking a handful of your plump ass in his hand and then giving it a harsh slap. He trod the ten step walk from their front door to the living room couch, gently setting you down on the soft furniture.

"Want you, too" He couldn't wait either. With hooded lids, he marvelled at your immaculate image sprawled on his sofa. Supple skin glowing under the fluorescent light, tits barely contained by your lace bra, and your hair acting as a halo around your radiant face. You looked fucked up as ever, and he lives for it.

As he was about to unbuckle his belt and finally stick his dick into you, he was interrupted by a cough.

 "Um, excuse me?" Jungkook's platinum blond haired roommate started.

 "Oh shit, Yoongi-hyung." 

You bet yourself you were faster than flash, grabbing the decorative pillow next to you and concealing your exposed body.

"I-I thought you were..." anyone in the room can hear the sound of Jungkook gulping. "out with Namjoon-hyung?" He gave a crooked smile, side-stepping to the left just enough to cover you with his own naked self. 

"Last minute cancel," the elder shrugged nonchalantly, as if he hadn't seen something he shouldn't have. "Don't worry about me. I'll mind my own business. You love birds can continue." He retreated back to his genius lab.

Jungkook looked at you, blush creeping up to the curve of his ears. "Sorry about that," lips curling into an innocent smile "where were we?" 

Your fit of giggles we're unstoppable as you threw the pillow you were holding onto, aiming for his face. “Shut up, Kook.” You couldn't believe the audacity of this boy. 

--

[mxtxsblog]

SJ's popularity in Chinese fandom

Hi! So discussing about SJ’s characters, I got curious.

I love fandom statistics, but unfortunately I can’t do them. Shame.

But I like to compare numbers.

So I’m glad to present you the popularity of SJ in Chinese fandom.

And of course if I’ve messed up something, please correct me.

So SV is not a new novel, but the fandom is pretty active, because it was greatly delivered by MDZS’s success.

Of course many fans existed pre-2019, but it was not so common.

So. Ok.

The platform I’ve studied is Lofter, because I already know and like it. I can repeat this analysis with Weibo, if anybody is interested.

If you think Lofter isn’t representative, I’d love to discover a new one.

The machine translation I’ve used is google. I’ve tried DeepL, but I preferred Google for this one.

Disclaimers:

-Of course those are numbers. We can’t know if those posts are positive or negative about the ship and the character. My subjective experience as a fan is that usually Lofter users tag appropriately and not use lots of “anti” rhetoric.

-I know that fandom popularity doesn’t mean lots. Some pairings are AO3 very famous and the characters never interact! Some very popular ships are about characters who don’t even exist (like MorMo*!). But sometimes is nice to win the fandom lottery. Especially if my fave has a tragic terribile canon.

The fandom

http://www.lofter.com/tag/%E4%BA%BA%E6%B8%A3%E5%8F%8D%E6%B4%BE%E8%87%AA%E6%95%91%E7%B3%BB%E7%BB%9F

SVSSS

19.19 million views  55768 Participate

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B8%A3%E5%8F%8D

Another tag for SV

2.738 million views  20252 Participation

The characters

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B4%9B%E5%86%B0%E6%B2%B3

LBH

81 million views  26646 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B2%88%E6%B8%85%E7%A7%8B

Shen Qingqiu

1.557 million views  24757 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B2%88%E5%9E%A3

Shen Yuan

158,000 views  1952 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B2%88%E4%B9%9D

SJ tag

2.381 million views  18145 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9F%B3%E6%B8%85%E6%AD%8C

LQG

615,000 views  4585 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%B0%9A%E6%B8%85%E5%8D%8E

Shang Qinghua

201,000 views  4230 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%BC%A0%E5%8C%97%E5%90%9B

115,000 views  3225 Participation

Mobeijun

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%B2%B3%E6%B8%85%E6%BA%90

YQY tag

86103 browse  2040 participation

The pairings

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%86%B0%E7%A7%8B

BinqQiu

15.748 million views  31865 Participate

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%86%B0%E4%B9%9D

BingJiu

19.307 million views  24873 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%BC%A0%E5%B0%9A

Moshang

4.755 million views  10113 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E4%B8%83%E4%B9%9D

QiJiu

1.292 million views  4363 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9F%B3%E4%B9%9D

LiuJiu

1.368 million views  2598 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9F%B3%E6%B2%88

Liushen

1.096 million views  1616 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E4%B9%9D%E5%9E%A3

Shencest

374,000 views  760 Participation

In comparison (minor but fan favorite characters from MDZS, numbers a month old)

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E8%96%9B%E6%B4%8B/new (Xue Yang’s tag, 4.285 million views 63724 participation)

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%99%93%E6%98%9F%E5%B0%98 (XXC’s tag, 1.261 million views 42671 participation )

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%AE%8B%E5%B2%9A (SL’s tag, 294,000 views 8902 participation )

http://www.lofter.com/tag/%E8%96%9B%E6%99%93 (XueXiao’s tag, 11.715 million views 27473 participation )

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%8F%8C%E9%81%93%E9%95%BF (S*ngXiao’s tag, 2.134 million views 8933 participation)

Big villain and pairing:

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E9%87%91%E5%85%89%E7%91%B6

JGY

7.574 million views  53113 Participate

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9B%A6%E7%91%A4

XiYao

29.03 million views  50793 Participate

Conclusion:

-SVSSS is smaller than MDZS but it’s an healthy and lively fandom

-SJ seems to be very popular. In fact he’s the most popular characters after BingQiu.

-XY has more posts than JGY. (My baby wins the lottery fandom)

-LBH is the most popular character, followed by SY (called SQQ, ofc)

-BingQiu is the most popular ship of the fandom (duh)

-BingJiu is SJ’s most popular pairing (duh)

In conclusion:

I’m happy because I’ve won another fandom lottery and this means lots and lots of free content for me.

[a-book-dragon]

I posted 2,927 times in 2021

329 posts created (11%)

2598 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.9 posts.

I added 1,071 tags in 2021

#mutual aid - 346 posts

#donate - 323 posts

#lefty theory - 154 posts

#fandom - 69 posts

#anarchy - 37 posts

#capitalism - 37 posts

#to see later - 29 posts

#important - 26 posts

#leftism - 25 posts

#socialism - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#egon schiele your art is mostly of people and self portraits but you don't aim to draw what is but rather what feels. you're expressive sens

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

look at this Gem i found

pls reblog with your results

115 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 04:28:43 GMT

#4

341 notes • Posted 2021-09-13 17:09:31 GMT

#3

help a palestinian woman pay rent

“My name is Nour from Palestine and I live in the besieged Gaza. I am now 23 years old. I lost my home and my husband in the war on Gaza. I now live in a rented house and I couldn't pay the rent for the house. Our life is full of sadness. We all live in fear. I have 3 kids. They need food, medicine and milk. And I couldn't work because I was sick. I hope you will stand by my side and help me get what I need.”

doctor’s notes:

house:

See the full post

547 notes • Posted 2021-08-25 08:10:26 GMT

#2

Having steered the higher-education terrain for a decade of my life, I know that degrees and credentials are primarily badges of compliance.

...

... those afflicted with ADHD have deficits in what he calls “rule-governed behavior,” as they are less responsive to rules of established authorities and less sensitive to positive or negative consequences. ODD young people, according to mainstream mental health authorities, also have these so-called deficits in rule-governed behavior, and so it is extremely common for young people to have a “dual diagnosis” of AHDH and ODD.

...

Many people with severe anxiety and/or depression are also anti-authoritarians. Often a major pain of their lives that fuels their anxiety and/or depression is fear that their contempt for illegitimate authorities will cause them to be financially and socially marginalized; but they fear that compliance with such illegitimate authorities will cause them existential death.

...

Americans have been increasingly socialized to equate inattention, anger, anxiety, and immobilizing despair with a medical condition, and to seek medical treatment rather than political remedies. What better way to maintain the status quo than to view inattention, anger, anxiety, and depression as biochemical problems of those who are mentally ill rather than normal reactions to an increasingly authoritarian society.

2217 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 12:23:20 GMT

#1

rb to make a biological essentialist mad <3

26005 notes • Posted 2021-04-28 21:39:13 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[whitewitchdani]

Laters, Baby: Chapter 10

Read Chapter 9 Here

Word Count: 2598

Pairing: Winchester!Sister x Lucifer

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of sex, language

A/N: Chapter 10! Let me know what you think and if you’d like to be tagged!

Later’s, Baby Masterlist

You were pleasantly surprised that, although you had slept in Hell and on the way here, you felt tired almost as soon as your head hit the pillow. You had gotten more sleep in the last 24 hours alone than all three Winchesters combined got in a week. Though, with everything that had happened, could anyone really blame you? 

You snuggled deeply into the sheets of the bed and took a deep breath. Flipping over to your other side, you pulled the silk sheets up to your... Silk sheets? You opened your eyes to see red silk sheets in place of the white cotton ones that had been there before. What the hell? you thought to yourself. You were facing the door of the bedroom at Bobby’s house so you hadn’t left, what was going on? You returned to your left side and gasped as you were met with a pair of deep blue eyes. 

“I know you said red was cliché, but these are so much more comfortable than the drab that was on here before, aren’t they?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Lucifer?”

“In the flesh. Well, sort of.”

“But, how? How’d you find-” you paused and let out a small laugh, “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”

“‘fraid so doll. I know you’re disappointed you don’t get all this in person but since my annoying little bro carved that warding into all of your ribs, I can’t find you physically. This is the only way we can talk.”

“Talk about what? Are you finally going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Lucifer sat up against the headboard and you followed suit. He took a deep breath and pushed a piece of hair behind your ear. It may have only been a dream, but it felt so incredibly real to you; you felt his hand touch your face and the chill that went down your spine as a result. 

“I suppose it’s only fair that you know as much as I do. This involves you too.” He sighed and rose from the bed, beginning to pace in front of it. “You know, this whole thing is just as weird for me as it is for you. You’re... human. Your whole race is broken, flawed. And for some Dad-forsaken reason, I can’t bring myself to kill you. I’m developing feelings. It’s terrible.”

“Okay this is getting a little insulting...”

“But it’s not terrible, that’s the thing. I like it. I like you. I was there when Father created the soulmate connection for humans. It was beautiful, one of the only things I envied of your kind. It’s incredibly rare, but deep and powerful when it happens.” He moved to sit back beside you on the bed. “Why Father brought you to me, I am unsure, but I am glad he did. I am eager to complete the connection, because I know that once we do we will be incredible together. Powerful.”

“Complete the connection? What do you mean? And powerful? Lucifer I’m so lost right now.” 

He caressed your face, “Right now, we are only in the beginning stages of the connection. I miss you, but it’s tolerable. After we complete the connection, we will truly become soulmates. Our souls will intertwine and become one. The mixture of your humanity and my grace as a result will make us extremely powerful, BOTH of us.” 

“How do we complete the connection?”

Lucifer smirked, “That’s the fun part. I’ve never had intercourse with a human, but from what I’ve seen it looks extremely enjoyable.”

“Woah, woah, wait. What?? Okay, number one; please don’t call it intercourse. Number two; we complete the connection by having sex? Seriously??”

“Yes, angel. And when we do we will be inseparable. You will receive some of my grace, and I will receive some of your humanity, making us two of the most powerful beings in existence.”

“This...this is insane.” You leaned back and rubbed your temples.

“Trust me, I know. It won’t happen immediately, I’m not a monster.”

“You’re literally the devil.” 

“Yes, but like I said, I’m nothing if not one for the classics. All that old school romance stuff looks fun. Plus, it’s a rule of the connection, it cannot be forced in any way.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. For some reason you trusted Lucifer, but knowing those things put you more at ease regardless. You were lost in your own head when Lucifer suddenly stood, “I have to go.”

You stood as well, “Wait what? Why? Lucifer, I have so many questions.”

He walked towards you and brought you into his arms. It was strange; you kept forgetting this was a dream because everything felt so real. You could feel his cool arms around you and how safe you felt in them; you could smell him, although you couldn’t place it, as it was something completely Lucifer. You only knew two things in that moment: how much you missed Lucifer and how much you wanted him to kiss you right now. Both of those things were equally amazing and surprising to you. 

“You will wake soon. Come find me out there. Find Castiel, he will tell you the proper way to summon me. Knowing him, he is somewhat supportive of this since it’s Dad’s plan and will help you. The pain of the separation will get worse the longer we’re apart, so try to hurry,” he said with a smirk. 

He looked down and cupped your face in both of his hands. You swore your heart stopped; he was going to kiss you. He leaned in slowly and you closed your eyes, waiting for his cool lips to meet yours and...

You woke up abruptly, shooting up into a sitting position with a gasp. You sat forward so suddenly you almost knocked foreheads with Sam who was sitting next to you on the bed. Thankfully he was able to scoot back in time to avoid the collision, but you woke up so abruptly that even Dean and Bobby, who were standing at the foot of the bed, took a step back as well. 

You were sitting there breathing heavily for a few seconds before Sam broke the silence, “Y/N, what the hell just happened?”

Turning to look at your twin, you tried to come up with a deflection on the fly, “What do you mean? I took a nap and had a nightmare, not exactly a new occurrence.”

Sam turned to look at the two men at the foot of the bed before turning back to his sister, “Y/N/N we’ve been trying to wake you up for over an hour, nothing’s worked. When we finally gave up you woke up on your own.” He handed you the glass of water he’d placed on the bedside table when he first came upstairs.

“Yeah, so you wanna try the truth this time?” Dean snapped, folding his arms.

After taking a long drink, you dropped your head into your hands; everything that was going on your life was starting to give you a migraine. The last thing you wanted to tell your family was that you spent your time in dreamland with Lucifer. You rubbed at your temples while contemplating on how to explain what had happened, reluctantly deciding on the truth.

You looked to your family and began, “I came up here to lay down and must’ve fallen asleep because when I rolled over, Lucifer was there.”

Dean cursed and ran a hand over his face, but Bobby was confused. “I don’t understand. How exactly did that happen?”

“Angels can enter our subconscious mind while we’re dreaming. Cas has done it to Dean before and Lucifer did it to me soon after he took Nick as a vessel. Y/N, what did he say to you?”

“He explained the soulmate connection; what it takes to complete it and what will happen afterwards.”

“Yeah you complete it and you’re like, officially soulmates. Being separated from you wouldn’t weaken him,” explained Sam.

You looked at Sam and sighed, “That’s part of it.”

Dean walked forward, “Wait, part?? What the hell else is there? Cas only told us about the completing part.”

You looked at your brother incredulously, “Good to know you knew more about this thing that affects me than I did,” you fidgeted with your hands and took a deep breath. Telling your brothers the next part was not going to be easy, you partly expected Dean to actually explode. 

“According to Lucifer, we complete the bond by, well, having sex,” you continued, causing everyone in the room to cringe at your statement. “But after that, apparently something happens, something mystical. He said that once the bond is completed, I will receive some of his grace and he’ll receive some of my humanity, causing us to become two of the most powerful beings in all of creation.”

You looked up from your fidgeting hands to see three pairs of wide eyes staring back at you. It wasn’t really surprising; you did just drop a huge bomb in their lap. You were having trouble believing it yourself. 

Dean suddenly swiped the books that were on the desk across the room onto the floor. You flinched at the sudden outburst. It wasn’t too surprising though; you knew Dean would be pissed.

“Hey, some of them books are one of a kind boy. I know you ain’t happy but if you ruin one of them books, I’ll put a boot in yer ass.” Bobby moved to pick up some of the books off of the floor, “I was buildin’ up a collection of books on archangels and this is what I got so far. How about instead of getting all hot and bothered, we do some research and try to find out what to do about this?”

Before anyone could move, Dean exploded. He turned to you, looking madder than you had ever seen him. “How are you so calm?? You just dropped that giant bomb on us so nonchalantly. Are you, like, okay with this or something?”

You stood from the bed, “Of course I’m not okay with this Dean! I don’t think any of us are okay with anything that has happened in the past year. But after talking to him, I think that I am Lucifer’s main focus, not the apocalypse. If we become as powerful as he says we will, we can strengthen Nick and he won’t need to take Sam as a vessel! 

“And I’m human! Don’t you think maybe loving and being with a human will cause him to maybe not hate us as a species so much? Angels are real, Dean, which means God is real. I know this is a concept that both of us have struggled to come to terms with, but now? I don’t think we have a choice. He apparently made me for Lucifer and I can feel it. It’s not something we can just ignore and hope goes away. Being away from him much longer is going to start to be physically painful. We’re running out of options.”

Dean’s face was stone; he always was hard to read. You couldn’t tell what was running through his mind and you were worried. Bobby and Sam were silent near the door, watching the scene unfold before them. They had learned long ago to not get in between a Dean-Y/N fight; it was how Sam earned his first black eye as a kid. 

The stone face was beginning to turn red, “No. No we are not out of options. Our original plan could still work. We can still shove the Devil back in the box!”

“And how do you think that would affect me, huh? I can already feel how being away from him is affecting me. Imagine if we put him back in the cage, what would happen to me? We’re Winchester’s, this is apparently our destiny!”

Dean scoffed, “Destiny?? God can take destiny and shove it right up his ass. You shouldn’t have any part in this, Y/N. I should’ve made you stay at Stanford when Dad went missing. This isn’t your fight; you aren’t even really a Winchester.”

“DEAN!”

You barely heard Sam’s exclamation. Your eyes went wide and your chest tightened as your worst fear became reality right in front of you. Ever since you found out you weren’t really their sister this was your greatest fear, that they’d drop you like yesterday’s newspaper. 

The room was silent as they awaited your reaction. A single tear slipped down your face as you finally met Dean’s gaze again.

“Get out,” you said quietly. 

You were too calm. It would’ve been better if you had started screaming at him. Bobby started herding Dean towards the door while Sam remained in the corner of the room. Dean had immediately regretted what he’d said as soon as it slipped past his lips. He turned and paused in the doorway, “Y/N/N-”

“I SAID GET OUT!” You grabbed the glass of water from the bedside table and launched it towards your brother. It impacted on the wall near his head, Dean ducking out of the doorway in the nick of time. 

You were breathing heavily as the door closed. You walked up and leaned your forehead against it, tears streaming down your face when a hand landed on your shoulder. Spinning around you came face to face with Sam, who you had forgotten was still in the room. 

“Please, just go Sam.”

“Dean didn’t mean that, Y/N. He’s just upset and worried. You ARE a Winchester, no matter if John and Mary are your parents or not. Obviously, you were meant to be in our family and as Bobby always says, family don’t end with blood.”

You smiled at your twin who returned it. In that moment you knew what you were going to do about the situation at hand. But you knew you couldn’t without saying something to Sam.

“Sam, you’re the best twin any girl could ever ask for. You’ve been my best friend my whole life and you were there for me through everything. I love you, Sam. So much. But you can’t be there for me through this. I’m sorry.” 

“I love you too, Y/N/N. What’s going on? What’re you sorry for?”

“For this.” You opened the door and shoved your brother through, closing and locking it after he was out. To ensure your twin’s six-foot-four frame wouldn’t bust through, you shoved the dresser in front of it as well. 

Standing there for a second, you just listened to Sam bang on the door, calling for you and then for Dean and Bobby. You knew you didn’t have much time before the three of them would be able to get the door open.

You closed your eyes and for a minute the room was bathed in silence. When you opened them again, you waited expectantly. Suddenly, there was a whoosh sound and you turned to the figure that had appeared in front of the window.

“Y/N, your brothers are on the other side of that door and very upset. What is happening? Why have you barricaded yourself from them and called me?” Cas squinted his eyes and tilted his head at you, a trait you had always found endearing. 

“I need help Cas and I know you’re the only one who will help me.”   

“What is it that you need?”

You took a deep breath and took a step towards the angel, “I need you to help me summon Lucifer.”  

Read Chapter 11 Here

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[dominikagruzlewska]

STOP-MOTION: STOP MOTION TECHNICAL TASK

What equipment is needed to create stop motion?

Camera body and lens

Tripod

Shutter release

Source of light

Computer

Editing software

Backdrop/background/flooring

Light modifiers

RESOLUTION AND PPI

Millions of pixels that make up the image sensor in a digital camera are actually tiny light-sensitive squares. Each pixel registers the brightness of the light striking it, when you click a snapshot. These pixels in a photograph cannot be identified unless you magnify a digital image. On enlarging an image, you will find that the whole picture is a web of inter-connected lines known as rows and columns forming small boxes or squares filled with colours. These boxes are known as the pixels.

Resolution is the camera’s ability to classify and effectively present discrete image information, such as details, patterns and textures within a given photographic image and it corresponds to how large a photo can become without becoming unacceptably blurry or grainy. Camera and image resolution is measured in Pixels Per Inch or PPI.

Resolution can be identified by the measurement of pixels in dimensions of height and width. For example, a camera manufacturer can describe the resolution of the camera as 3904×2598 (W x H) pixels, which again can be termed as 3904×2598=10,142,592 pixels. If this number is divided by 1 million, the figure thus attained will come out to be 10.1 megapixels (one megapixel is equivalent to one million pixels). Hence, the resolution of the image can also be described as 10.1 megapixels, or 10.1 MP.

PPI describes the resolution in pixels of a digital image whereas DPI describes the amount of ink dots on a printed image.

PPI, or pixels per inch, refers both to the fixed number of pixels that a screen can display and the density of pixels within a digital image. Pixel count on the other hand refers to the number of pixels across the length and width of a digital image—that is, the image dimensions in pixels.

What does the term “Aspect Ratio” means?

The aspect ratio is the ratio between the width and height of the screen. It’s noted in the form of W:H, which is interpreted as W pixels in width for every H pixel in height.

This is essentially just the ratio between the width and height of the display. The higher the first number compared to the last number, the wider the screen will be compared to the height.

Most monitors and TVs today have an aspect ratio of 16:9 (Widescreen), and we are seeing more and more gaming monitors getting a 21:9 aspect ratio, also referred to as UltraWide.

32:9 aspect ratio: 3840×1080, 5120×1440

21:9 aspect ratio: 2560×1080, 3440×1440, 5120×2160

16:9 aspect ratio: 1280×720, 1366×768, 1600×900, 1920×1080, 2560×1440, 3840×2160, 5120×2880, 7680×4320

16:10 aspect ratio: 1280×800, 1920×1200, 2560×1600

4:3 aspect ratio: 1400×1050, 1440×1080, 1600×1200, 1920×1440, 2048×1536

What would happen if you had too many pixels (resolution/PPI) when playing your Stop Motion video on the above devices?

If my video with high resolutions or number of pixels would be played on device that cannot handle/support it video may lost information during compression and become blurrier or pixelated.  

What does a TV do if it doesn’t have enough pixels and what is Photoshop equivalent?

If the TV does not have enough pixels to support the resolution size of the video it is likely to display a distorted version of the picture as it will stretch it to fill the entire screen. This results in a blurry and unseen image that is also pixelated.

If image or video doesn't have enough pixels in Photoshop it can go through the process of an interpolation. This process adds pixels to the image based on the pixel values ​​next to it. The purpose of this process is to reduce or increase the size of the image.

Brief requirements vs my camera

BRIEF:

Resolution - 1080x1920

Aspect Ratio - 16:9

Frame Rate – 30fps

MY CAMERA:

Resolution – 6000 × 4000

Aspect Ratio – 3:2, 4:3, 16:9,1:1

Frame Rate – in 1080p 60 fps

My Canon EOS 77D does allow me to change aspect ratio in settings and I can choose between 3:2, 4:3, 16:9 and 1:1. I will set my aspect ratio to 16:9 during working on my stop motion, so I will not have to crop my images in post-production part.  

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DUI & DWI In Colorado

Colorado has two levels of alcohol-related driving offenses, and both are based on the measurement of blood alcohol concentration (BAC) in the body.

Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol or Drugs (DUI).

Driving While Ability is Impaired (DWAI).

Colorado BAC Limits

Simply put, blood alcohol concentration is how much alcohol is pulsing through your blood after you drink.

The legal limit BAC for drivers over 21 years old is 0.08%, while the limit for drivers under 21 years old is 0.02%.

DWAI has a limit of 0.05%.

Administrative Penalties

In Colorado the Division of Motor Vehicles has the legal authority to suspend your license for DUI and DWAI regardless of any criminal charges you may face through the courts. These penalties, known as Administrative Penalties, can cause an automatic suspension of your driver’s license as well as fees and points depending on the offense.

DWAI 1st Offense: 8 points toward license suspension; $200 to $1500 fine; up to 1 year in jail; up to 96 hours community service.

DUI 1st Offense: Administrative license revocation for 9 months; $600 to $1,000 fine; up to 1 year in jail; up to 96 hours community service; alcohol education.

DUI/DWAI 1st offense under 21 years old: Drivers license suspended 3 months up to 1 year and 4 points added to driving record.

The penalties increase substantially for repeated offenses and, in some cases, you may be required to install an ignition interlock device on your car. The only way to challenge Administrative penalties is to request an alcohol hearing.

You have 7 days after receiving a revocation/suspension notice to request a hearing.

Alcohol Hearings

You have 7 days after receiving a revocation/suspension notice to request a hearing. You must go in person to the DMV to put in a request. You will also be required to turn over your license if you did not do so at the time of the violation. You may also be eligible for a temporary driving permit while you wait for your hearing. For more information about alcohol hearings please call Customer Service at (303) 205-5613 or the Department of Revenue’s Hearings Division at (303) 205-5606

An Arrest

If you fail the roadside sobriety test, which could entail anything from standing on one leg while answering a barrage of questions to touching your nose and walking a straight line, you will be read your rights.

You will be handcuffed and taken to a city or county jail.

A tow truck will take your car and impound it.

Criminal Penalties

The CDOT offers a line item assessment in an informative brochure of what a DUI costs the individual charged with a first offense. The total comes to over $10,000 and includes lawyer fees, rising insurance rates, fees to get a license back, probation supervision fees, all the way down to the brain injury surcharge and court costs. This figure is based on the minimum fine. It is easy to see that drinking and driving is not worth any cost.

Refusing a BAC Test

Express Consent Law: By operating a motor vehicle in the state of Colorado you are automatically giving “express consent” or granting permission to be administered a chemical test by breath, blood, or urine to measure your blood alcohol content. If a law enforcement officer requires you to take a test because of suspected drinking and driving and you refuse, you will be required to have an Ignition Interlock for 2 years. As of January 1st 2014 refusing a chemical test automatically gets you a Persistent Drunk Driver designation.

Zero Tolerance: Drivers under 21 years old with a BAC between 0.02% and 0.05% face automatic revocation of their license.

Buy and Possess: If you are under 21 years old and get caught with alcohol in the vehicle, you will have your license revoked.

For more information on DUIs and BAC consult the Colorado Driver Handbook or visit the Department of Transportation website.

Ignition Interlock Device

You may be allowed an early reinstatement after an Administrative license suspension by having a Ignition Interlock Device (IID) installed in your vehicle. This can only be done after serving a portion of your suspension. The length of time depends on the type and number of violations. You must also:

Over 21 years old at the time of the violation.

Satisfied all requirements for reinstatement.

Completed at least 1 month of a a DUI conviction or Administrative driver’s license suspension.

OR

Completed at least 2 months for a Refusal of a BAC test.

The annual cost for an IID is about $1,000. The IID MUST be installed and maintained by a state approved vendor in order to be valid. If you wish to know if you may be eligible for an early reinstatement with an IID you can call Customer Service at (303) 205-5613.

Driver’s License Reinstatement

Once your suspension time is completed, with or without an IID, the DMV will send you a letter with steps to take to purchase an Unrestricted License. Before you are able to get a new license you must complete all the conditions of your suspension including all fees and program classes required. When you are eligible for a new license you will be required to fill out a Application for Reinstatement (Form DR 2870) and a Certification (Form DR 2598). You will also have to pay the $95 reinstatement fee and show proof of insurance (SR 22) for up to 3 years. The length a SR 22 is required will depend on the type and number of violations.

If you are looking for more information go to this link lawyers near me Colorado Springs.

[icharchivist]

Okay I’m stopping here for tonight (this liveblog session lasted about 5 to 6 hours and I think I lost about 5 or 6 followers in the meantime lmao)

I’m sorry tho but I’m really trying to catch on o(-( officially since the York New arc is over it should go quicker and I should post less, because I was seriously posting almost every pages of the YN arc (because the troupe and ofc Kurapika and Leorio that was important) - not to mention I save every panel of Kurapika so now that Kurapika isn’t there anymore I have less things to do. Already my few reading of the Greed Island arc had been quicker.

And I’m trying to be a little more efficient to reach the Dark Continant Arc since it’s still a mystery to me and I want to read it after having re-read the full manga, so I need to finish reading it. (and with the number of people I dragged in hxh and who are ahead of me at this point... I gotta be quick)

So I’ll try reading more the next following days. Sorry guys ^^” 

Anyway see yaa o/

[aolmail12]

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Last year, Delta announced it will invest more than $2 billion through 2013 to improve the customer experience, including installing new full-flat beds and personal, in-seat video on all widebody aircraft and adding more First Class cabins to Delta Connection regional jets.

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