#number 2598

[uyuforu]

Hi! When you draw a solar/lunar return/natal chart on astro.com, what asteroids would you recommend to include? Apart from the ones you get if you choose the "Astrodienst w. asteroids“ drawing style. I‘ve been ignoring them for years and I feel like I‘m missing out lmao, but having to type the asteroid numbers out is really bothersome to me 😭💀 Thank you in advance <3. Also sorry if you have a post where you talked about something similar. I tried to look before asking but I couldn’t find anything

I have a list of all asteroids I have, and depending on what you wanna see, you can check those here ^^

Romance Asteroids

° Juno (3) (marriage and soulmate)

° Destinn (6583) (destiny)

° Groom (5129) (groom)

° Boda (1487) (marriage)

° Briede (19029) (bride)

° Union (1585) (how do we meet fs)

° Eros (433) (kinks and sex)

° Kiss (8267) (kiss style)

° Lovelock (51663) (how do we fall in love)

° Cupido (763) (how do we fall in love)

° Valentine (447) (cute, pure, tender love)

° Amor (1221) (passionate love)

° Alma (390) (Soulmates/ Twin Flames/ Karmics/ Soul Links)

° Alinda (887) (kissing, making out)

Fame Asteroids

° Fama (408) (fame, rumors, gossips)

° Europa (52) (fame and recognition)

° Mireille (594) (easily gaining people’s love and admiration)

° Glo (3267) (glowing shining, attention)

° Lumier (775) (where do you shine)

° Populus (8647) (being popular and well known)

° Musa (600) (inspiring other)

° Starr (4150) (shining, standing out)

° Zeus (5731) (gaining fame)

° Varuna (amazing and incredible fame) (20000)

° Fan (151590)

Money Asteroids

°Abundantia (151) (having a lot of money, abundance and inheritance)

° Mony (7782) (how can we obtain money)

° Fortuna (19)

° Tyche (258)

° Banks (13956)

° Gold (4955)

° Midas (1981)

Spiritual Asteroids

° Teller (5006) (Tarot abilities)

° Apollo (1862) (talents)

° Kalchas (4138) (divination talents)

° Horus (1924) (linked to 3rd eye)

° Arrokoth (486958) (astrology talents)

° Estrella (11697) (shining, beauty and talents of astrology)

° Merlin (2598) (magic and prophetic abilities)

° Spirit (37452) (seeing spirits and entities and communicating with them)

° Telephus (5264) (linked to telepathy)

° Aura (1488) (Ability to see the real aura or intentions of people)

° Karma (3811)

° Erda (894) (our past life)

° Spirit (37452) (our spirit guys)

Talents Asteroids

° Dones (21965) (our natural gift)

° Probitas (902) (being good and excellent)

° Carrera (3050) (our career)

° Industria (389) (our career)

° webb (3041) (the internet)

Psychology & Medical Talents Asteroids

° Hylonome (10370) (psychologist abilities)

° Makhaon (3063) (talent for medicine and healing)

° Anahita (270) (creative and therapeutic talents)

Writing & Communication Asteroids

° Calliope (22) (writing and singing)

° Erato (62) (writing poetry, romance and erotic matters)

° Biblialexa (51895) (writing or reading books)

° Murray (941) (excellent communicator, writer, speeches, etc)

° Elatus (31834) (good at speaking in public, amazing speeches)

° Kleopatra (216) (being loved and admired by our communicating skills)

° Mnemosyne (57) (good communicator, good at telling stories, good at acting with our voice)

Acting Asteroids

° Thalia (23) (ability to entertain and comedy)

° Lumiere (775) (acting abilities)

° Melpomene (18) (acting abilities and dark writing)

° Actor (12238) (being an actor)

° Mnemosyne (57) (good communicator, good at telling stories, good at acting with our voice)

° Fantomas (242492) (Acting skills)

Singing & Musical Asteroids

° Cantor (16246) (sings a lot and talent in singing)

° Harmonia (40) (singing abilities)

° Singer (10698) (singing abilities and talent)

° Terpsichore (81) (dancing and singing)

° Piani (10573) (related to piano and playing instruments)

° Euterpe (27) (musical talent)

° Echo (60) (beautiful voice)

° Melpomene (18) (Muse of Singing)

Painting & Cooking Asteroids

° Pintar (33103) (painting)

° Van Gogh (4457) (painting)

° Picasso (4221) (painting)

° Cook (3061) (cooking abilities)

° Baker (2549) (baking abilities)

Sexual Asteroids

° Eros (433) (kinks & sex)

° 1988 XB (7753) (extreme sexual activity)

° 1996 TL66 (15874) (discharge, squirting)

° 2002 XW93 (78799) (group sex)

° 2005 PQ21 (134210) (porn, extreme sexual activity)

° 2010 EN65 (316179) (discharge, orgasm)

° 2000 CO104 (999004) (orgasm, ecstasy)

° Alinda (887) (rough, passionate sex)

° Ignatius (3562) (our kinks, the one we keep as secret)

° Kama (1387) (how we have sex, our sex style)

° Lust (4386) (our sex style, what turn us on, our sexual desires)

Children & Home Asteroids

° Child (4580) (inner child)

° DNA (55555) (our DNA, children)

° House (4950) (our home)

Hoping it can help! You can also check those on other types of chart ^^

[dearly-somber]

body art | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. f2l, slow burn, eventual romance, eventual smut, mutual pining, fluff, university!au

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 2598

-> warnings. lots of touching (not inappropriate); sexual tension 🤡

-> a/n. Listened to Pictures by ECÂF for the entirety of this one and whoOo bOy 😮‍💨. The brain-juices were Flowing

-> collection. mini-series

-> started. Mar. 4th, 2023 @ 20:07

-> fin. Sun., Jun. 23rd, 2024 @ 03:32

-> edited. Mon., Jun. 24th, 2024 @ 02:35

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn

Sometimes, Jungkook feels like the biggest idiot on planet earth. Forgetting about a very important, fast-approaching project deadline happens to be one of those moments.

What sucks more than that is that he was tasked to do something in a medium far from what he usually does (oil pastel), but now that he has very little time to prepare, he also needs something that won’t take him more than 24 hours to complete.

He bites on his lip, pacing around the empty art studio with his hands on his hips. His buddy Eunwoo does a lot of body art, he thinks… he’s always said that it’s pretty snappy. Not that Eunwoo doesn’t spend time on his craft, just that the simpler pieces take significantly less time to do than anything else Jungkook’s tried (with the added benefit of being in a medium wholly different to his go-to).

If he can pull this off, Jungkook will be one step closer to passing his midterm.

“Aish, fuck it,” he mutters, striding across the room to the dirty white plastic table stacked with his art supplies, picking up his phone with a concentrated furrow in his brow as he dials Y/N’s number from his Favorites list before bringing his phone up to his ear, anxiously chewing on his thumb.

She picks up on the fourth ring. “Kook-ah?”

“Y/N.” He automatically smiles at the sound of her voice. “Hey,” he sighs, “sorry for calling you so late—“

“Not at all, Kook. What’s up?”

“Are you busy right now?”

“No…?” She pauses a moment. “Why? Did you need something?”

Jungkook sighs into the other line, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah... Can you come to the studio?”

“The one on-campus?”

“어…”

“Sure. I’ll be there in five.”

🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕

“What haven’t you done?” Y/N asks as soon as she steps through the threshold, a teasing smile on her lips.

She throws a plastic bag filled with snacks beneath the table, the plastic inside crinkling on impact as she takes a seat on top.

“A project,” Jungkook laughs, hoping she doesn’t hear its nervous crack.

“How much’s it worth?”

“Like… half my grade.”

“Jungkook—“

“I know. I know, I’m sorry.”

She laughs, not unkindly. “What’re you apologizing to me for? It’s your grade.”

“I know,” he mumbles, running his palm over his face with a sigh. “I don’t know. I don’t like disappointing people.”

He looks at her with a pitiful smile. “You especially…”

Y/N’s brows furrow as she hops off the table to hold his hands, coaxing his gaze up with an encouraging tug. “I’m not disappointed, Kook.”

He nods noncommittally, tonguing at his lip ring while staring at their intertwined hands instead of her soft smile.

“What can I do to help?” she asks then, running her thumb over the back of his tattooed hand.

“Actually,” he sighs, “that’s why I called you.”

“Oh?” she asks, a smirk tugging at her lips.

Jungkook clears his throat and lets go of Y/N’s hands to show her the large tubes of acrylic paint he stole from Eunwoo’s work station. “I was hoping you’d model for me.”

Y/N’s eyes widen to the size of saucers, her lips parting in a surprised o-shape that makes Jungkook’s heart flutter. “M-model? For you?”

He smiles. “Yeah,” he says, “for me. You know how Eunwoo does body art?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I needed to do something different for this project, and body art seemed like it’d be the fastest and most efficient option, so…” He laughs awkwardly, tapping the tube of yellow paint against his thigh. “Here we are.”

“Doesn’t Eunwoo usually hire models?” Y/N asks.

“Well, yeah, but…” Jungkook shrugs. “I figured you’d be willing to help a guy out.”

Y/N snorts, rolling her eyes with a growing smirk that makes Jungkook’s stomach twist. “You’re lucky you’re right, Wolfie.”

He scrunches his nose at the nickname, nevertheless feeling a massive weight lift off his shoulders when Y/N giggles and punches him in the arm, walking to the centre of the room with a happy smile.

“How do we do this?” she asks.

Jungkook hums thoughtfully, imagining how he’ll transfer the rough sketch he came up with while waiting for Y/N to arrive from the scrappy piece of paper he’d had lying around onto her skin.

“I’m not entirely sure,” he mumbles distractedly, sucking air in through his teeth as he finally settles on going greyscale, lining up the handful of paint tubes from lightest to darkest, turning to the side to grab different sized brushes and a plastic cup of water. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Obviously,” Y/N says, smiling at him when he turns around to give her a deadpan look. “Can I help?” she then asks, standing over his shoulder.

“Uhh…” He turns to her, suppressing his urge to scent her and instead wracks his brain for something for her to do. “Oh! Why don’t you get some of that plastic covering there against the wall and lay it down on the floor for me?”

“Where?” She eagerly grabs a clean roll and struts determinedly to the middle of Jungkook’s work area. “In the middle?”

“Yeah, there’s fine.”

“Why on the floor though? Also, does it matter? The floor’s just as paint-ridden as every other surface in this room.” Y/N laughs as she smooths the plastic crinkles out, ensuring it’s flat against the floor.

“It’s so you don’t get dirty,” Jungkook mutters, squeezing small amounts of paint onto his palette before grabbing his brushes and making his way over to where Y/N is now standing confused in the middle of the room.

“What do you mean?” she asks suspiciously, watching as Jungkook slowly crouches to put down the brushes and palette before going back to the desk to grab his water and set it down alongside his other tools.

“You’ll have to lay down on your stomach,” he says, laughing at the deadpan look she gives him. “What can I say? Your back is the perfect substitute for a canvas.”

Y/N sighs dramatically, getting down on her hands and knees with an old-man groan that makes Jungkook grin.

When Y/N sits back on her haunches and turns to look at him with a slight furrow in her brow, his grin dilutes only a little bit. “What is it?”

“I need to take my shirt off, don’t I?”

Well, shit.

“Uh…” Jungkook, also on his haunches, feels like an idiot as he gapes at her, trying to wrap his head around his current situation. “Well, yeah.”

He has to internally yell at his wolf to shut the fuck up. “You’ll have to take off your bra, too.”

Y/N’s eyes widen, and Jungkook hastily backtracks. “The strap’s gonna get in the way of the painting,” he explains, “so unless you’re fine with me painting over it…”

She bites down on her lip, nervously fiddling with her fingers in a way that makes Jungkook frown. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Y/N. If you’re uncomfortable I can just paint over your shirt—“

She pulls a scandalized face. “No! This is my, like” —she tugs at the hem of her shirt, looking down at the Harley Quinn illustration with a furrow in her brow— “second favorite shirt.”

“Which one’s your favorite?” he asks, a little confused.

“The one with your face on it,” Y/N says with an evil grin, cackling when Jungkook deadpans at her.

Of course she’d like that one.

“Seriously though. You don’t have to,” Jungkook reassures her again, his palms flat against his thighs.

Y/N searches his face for a second before shaking her head. “It’s okay,” she says. “I can do it.”

Jungkook checks her face for any sign of hesitation before he nods and turns his head to the side, last-minute turning back to stop her. “Here.”

He tugs his shirt off and lays it down in front of her, spreading it a little before sitting back again. He clears his throat at the way Y/N’s eyes roam over his body, heat crawling up his back at the sensation.

“So you can lay down on it,” he explains hoarsely, clearing his throat again as he turns away, squeezing his eyes shut.

She whispers a thank you under her breath, the room turning dead-silent as Jungkook’s ears hone in on the sound of rustling fabric and a bra-clip being unhooked.

“‘M done, Kook-ah.”

Jungkook takes a deep breath, praying to whatever god is out there to help him be normal about this in ways he knows he’d be otherwise incapable of.

The moment he opens his eyes, all thought of normality flies out his brain like someone opened it up, called it empty and yeeted it across the room.

Y/N’s back is strangely ethereal.

Prominent shoulder blades guide his eyes down her spine, his eyes drinking in the valley of smooth skin like a starved animal.

The only thing that snaps him out of it is the sudden and very intense urge to lick her. (He blames his wolf and refuses to take accountability.)

Shaking his head on right, Jungkook hurries to shuffle closer, his legs tingling from disuse.

“So…” Y/N starts, clearly trying to fill the silence. “What are you painting?”

Jungkook laughs a little, grabbing the thickest brush he has and lathering it in titanium white, shifting close enough for his knees to touch Y/N’s sides. “I dunno if I should tell you.”

“What?” she whines. “Why?”

“Because you’ll make fun of me,” he says pettily, whispering a warning under his breath before setting the tip of his brush to her skin.

Y/N gasps at the sudden cold. Jungkook watches her with a tiny smile, waiting for her to relax her shoulders before he continues lathering paint on in the faint shape of a box.

“Just tell me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Jungkook~” she whines, pulling a laugh from his throat with barely any effort at all.

He snickers as he shakes his head, finishing up the background before swirling the brush around in his water, grabbing a separate, thinner brush and dipping it in a blob of wet concrete-grey paint. “I’m drawing us.”

“Aww,” she squeals, giggling when Jungkook over dramatically sighs at her antics. “That’s super cute and all, Kook, but aren’t you supposed to be doing something different? You draw portraits of us all the time.”

“I know,” he says, tongue sticking concentratedly out the corner of his mouth. “That’s why I’m drawing us as animals.”

She gasps loudly. “Really!? Are you finally doing another Wolf-Y/N drawing?”

“I should keep that in mind for next time,” he chuckles. “But no, I’m making you a rabbit.”

“Of course you are,” she whispers, though Jungkook can’t help but think he hears a note of fondness in her voice. “So, what? You’re the big bad wolf, then?”

“Since when was I bad?” Jungkook scoffs.

“I dunno. Since you started slacking on your school work.”

“It’s one time!”

“It’s worth half your grade!”

Jungkook pouts, humphing. “Whatever. It’s a cute painting.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. My wolf’s tail’s all curled up ‘round you… you’re all sleepy, ‘n’ stuff,” he mumbles.

Jungkook swears he hears a smile in Y/N’s voice as she says, “That is pretty cute.”

“Yeah…”

Their conversation trails off as Jungkook focuses on his work, gradually laying out the groundwork for the line art.

When he finally starts working on it, though, he mumbles a short apology before swinging a leg over Y/N’s ass, straddling her lower back so he’s centered.

“You okay?” he asks, trying to keep his weight off her back.

“Yeah, ‘m fine.”

“Don’t need a break?”

“I’m fine, Kook. You can keep going.”

Jungkook clears his throat, mentally swatting the dirty thoughts away as he leans down to start on the line art, using his wrist to keep his hand steady as he uses his arm to keep his lines smooth and at an even thickness level.

“Would you have gotten someone else?”

“What?” Jungkook asks, leaning back to get a better view of his piece, but also to try and shake off the feeling of your skin on his palm.

“If I said I couldn’t make it, would you have gotten someone else to model for you?” Y/N asks, trying (and failing) to keep her voice neutral and nonchalant.

“No,” he says. “I don’t think I would have.”

“Why not?” she whispers, her heart beating a little louder in her chest.

Jungkook shrugs even though she can’t see. “I dunno. This feels too… intimate, to do with anyone else,” he admits, leaning back down to finish up the bunny’s line work so he can move on to the smaller details.

She hums softly, the vibration tangible against Jungkook’s hand. He’s been so hyper-focused on every little feel, he barely has time to register what he’s doing before he finds himself with his nose pressed to the back of Y/N’s neck.

“Kook-ah?” she whispers, a shiver running down her spine as Jungkook huffs out against her skin, hot all over and a little dizzy.

“Sorry, bunny,” he mumbles, squeezing his eyes shut. “You smell nice.”

She giggles, and Jungkook relishes in the wave of oxytocin that blasts him right in the face.

“You know, sometimes it’s like you can’t go thirty minutes without doing something to remind me you’re part dog.”

“I’m not a dog,” Jungkook grumbles, unaware of the slight growl in his voice as he takes another whiff of Y/N’s scent, letting it wash over him.

She shivers again, and that seems to be adequate enough for his wolf to let Jungkook pull away again. He mumbles an apology as he brushes her hair over her shoulder, sitting up straight and taking a moment to breathe deeply.

“You smell nice too, by the way.”

Jungkook laughs a little, wiping off a small smudge of paint as he finally stands to grab the digital camera he keeps for the moments when he wants to capture something he’s made for later review, wiping his paint-stained hands down on his pants.

“Is that so?” he teases lightly, telling Y/N to stay still as he stands over her, lining up the shot and taking a couple before he finally gives her the okay.

“You have a really nice smell,” she explains almost defensively, pulling her shirt back on while Jungkook’s back is to her. “You smell like… like rain, and that vanilla laundry detergent you like so much.”

She bends to grab and then throw Jungkook’s shirt at him, smiling as he leans back against the table with a smile of his own.

“I’m glad you think it’s nice,” he says, not bothering to hide the smugness to his tone but hoping she can’t tell with some kind of best friend magic that her liking the way he smells can also be interpreted as a (as she would call it,) “wolfy” thing.

Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, he drills to himself.

“Whatever. You took pictures?” She stands next to him.

“Mm. I’ll give you a copy once I get them printed.”

She smiles. “Thanks.”

“‘Course, bunny.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/N stands on the tips of her toes to wrap an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders, guiding him out the door with a strength and determination that surprises him.

“Now,” she says, “let’s get fucked. I know a great place like, down the road from here.”

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[drhoz]

#2598 - Protosynaema eratopis

A VERY rarely recorded moth - the tiny handful of other sightings and collections are all from Arthur's Pass. It happened to be hiding behind a bluebell as I was trying to photograph a tiny Mirid bug.

First described by Edward Meyrick in 1885. One of the few images of the moth online is this illustration from George Hudson's The Butterflies and Moths of New Zealand (1927).

The eyespots and diagonal stripes strongly suggest to me that this is a jumping spider mimic - a tactic used by a startling number of unrelated moths, flies and caddisflies.

Petrophila sp. Moth (Crambidae) - photo by Nicky Bay

Here's a selection of more just from the Nearctic. And a paper where neural networks trained on jumping spiders mistook the moths for same.

It's a pretty effective way to discourage attacks from real jumping spiders, given how frequently they'll cannibalise each other. And if the spider attacks anyway, the moth can fly off in an unexpected direction.

Arthur's Pass, Aotearoa New Zealand

[the-fiction-witch]

I Couldn't Find The Words To Say

Media - The Queens Gambit Character - Benny Watts Couple - Benny X Reader Reader - Y/n Rating - Sad Word Count - 2598

 Inspired by - What Can I Say by Carrie Underwood. 

As I sat on the window seat, I gazed out into the world outside, which had been engulfed in a downpour ever since that fateful night. My eyes were red and puffy from the constant crying, but I had given up on trying to dry my tears. The images of Benny's beetle's taillights in the rain kept flashing through my mind, accompanied by each crack of lightning through the summer storm.

There were so many things I wanted to say to Benny, but I couldn't find the right words to express myself. Every movement felt like I was carrying a thousand pounds of pressure as if trying to spin the world the other way. It seemed like no matter what I did, I was fighting against an insurmountable force.

That night had been etched in my mind ever since, and I couldn't shake off the feeling that we were both to blame for how things had ended. However, I couldn't help but feel worse about how I had let it all slip away. It pained me to see him standing there, shouting and screaming into the rain, and yet I kept silent. As he swore to the heavens, I never once opened my mouth to speak.

As I gazed at the white rotary phone on my table, my heart filled with the desire to call him. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was and how much I loved him. It was a daunting task, but I managed to summon the strength to move slowly over to the phone, pick it up, and bring it to my ear. Every step felt heavy and hard as if carrying a weight that I could barely bear.

I dialled three numbers, but before I could finish, I burst into tears and slammed the phone down. I knew deep down that he wouldn't want to hear from me, and the thought of rejection was too much to bear.

I slumped down in the chair, my hand tightly gripping the cold beer bottle. The apartment was eerily quiet, except for the sound of raindrops hammering against the windowpane. The chill in the air seemed to seep into my bones, numbing me from the inside out. My heart felt hollow as if all the emotions had been scooped out and replaced with an unbearable heaviness of regret. That night, I had said so much that I wished I hadn't, and left unsaid so much that I wished I had. The memory of it was like a ghost, haunting me in the darkness. Every time I thought of Y/n's tear-filled eyes, my heart twisted painfully in my chest. But I knew that I was the one causing her tears, even now.

It felt like everything I did was a monumental struggle like I was pushing a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down again. I couldn't shake off the feeling of hopelessness and despair that had settled over me like a thick fog. I found myself staring at the black rotary phone on the table, absentmindedly turning the dial. Every click felt like a stab in my gut, but I couldn't help but think about calling Y/n. I forced myself to get up, my steps unsteady and picked up the phone. As I started to dial her number, my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of my chest. But by the time I had dialled the fourth digit, I knew I couldn't do it. I was too drunk, too emotional, and too afraid of causing even more pain.

As I sat by my fire, I could feel the cold and dampness seeping in from outside due to the incessant rain. In front of me was my small writing desk, where I had placed my best paper, ink, pen, and pencils. I had recently received some advice to pen down everything in letters; every little detail of what had happened, how I had felt, and everything I wanted to say but never did. As I started writing, I realized how difficult it was for me to express my emotions and put all my thoughts on paper. The weight of regret for everything I had done and how hard it was for me to make amends was overwhelming. I still loved Benny deeply, even after all that I had done to hurt him.

Despite my struggles, I continued to write, trying to find the right words that would convey my feelings accurately. Many times, I had to start over because the words didn't seem to be enough, and the emotions were too strong to describe. The many failed attempts resulted in a pile of crumpled paper scattered all over the floor.

Finally, I managed to write beautiful letters that I looked over and re-read many times. I glanced at the little white rotary phone on my table, thinking about how nice it would be to call Benny and read out my letters to him. But every moment felt like agony, and I couldn't bring myself to make the call. Tears flooded my eyes as I slammed the phone back onto the table in frustration.

Unable to bear the pain any longer, I sealed up my letters, brought them to the fire, and tossed them in, watching everything burn up. It was a symbolic gesture of letting go of my past mistakes and starting afresh.

I was lying in bed, trying to lose myself in a book, but my concentration was shattered. My mind kept wandering to the empty space on my bed, the side that Y/n used to sleep on. Even though she wasn't there, I couldn't bring myself to lie in that space. The memories of her were too fresh and vivid. The space between us felt wider than ever. I kept seeing her there, her silhouette in the covers, smelling her perfume on the pillow. It felt like she was still there with me, haunting me in my own bed.

I looked around the room and noticed how much of a mess my apartment had become. Clothes were scattered around, dishes piled high in the sink, and the floor was littered with papers and books. I knew I had let myself go, but I couldn't bring myself to clean up. I was lost in my thoughts, unable to focus on anything else.

I wanted to say so many things, but I kept them buried in my pillow. I was feeling lonely and helpless, and I needed someone to talk to. My eyes fell on the phone, and I forced myself out of bed to pick it up. I dialled a number, the one that used to belong to Y/n, but the first ring echoed in my head, and I slammed the phone down. I couldn't do this, not this late.

I sat on my sofa trying to make sense of everything while the rain still poured, that night. I couldn't escape facing it. It was a simple night like most others, Benny was home from his tournament with a refreshed title as US champion, so we went out to celebrate. We went out for a nice dinner, and it was all so sweet and perfect, it couldn't be guessed what was coming later. We decided to go for a drink after dinner, stopping at a local bar close by. We drank for a while sharing kisses and sweet words at the bar between our drinks, I begged him to come dancing with me but he refused. Dancing never was Benny's kinda thing, I begged and pleaded just this once. So childish looking back. Until those fateful words were uttered... words that changed everything.

"You can go dance without me, I'll be here you go have fun." so dismissively,

Of course, I pouted but I did go, I went and danced on my own to the sweet music my vision hazy from my drinks, but I wasn't alone for long. At first, when I felt the man dancing with me I thought it was Benny but I caught his eye at the bar proving it wasn't him I was dancing with but some stranger. Benny didn't look happy about it so I moved away and continued to dance alone, but when I looked back at Benny... he wasn't alone. A girl had taken my seat and the two were chatting getting fairly close, I glared but he didn't look at me. So I went back and danced with the stranger to make Benny jealous. The guy was weird and handsy, and more than once I had to try and stop him in my drunken state. But when I looked back I saw her kissing him. Jealous burned me so I grabbed my bag and stormed out crying already as I went out into the now rainy streets. But Benny followed.

"What the hell was that!"

"Me!"

"Yes, you! What the hell was that for!"

"Me! I wasn't doing anything!"

"Weren't you! I saw you! Grinding up on that bastard!"

He was right to I went silent,

"I saw you, humping, grinding, he had his hands all over you, any more he would have been throwing you against the wall and raw dogging you in front of everyone! what the hell! You're my girlfriend! You don't even let me dance with you like that!"

"You never want to,"

"Ohh so if I go dancing with you I'm allowed to fucking dry hump you in the middle of the bar! Or is that just for strangers?"

"why are you screaming at me you kissed her!"

"Ohh for- I was telling her I had a girlfriend,"

"We're you?"

"I was. something you neglected to tell your dance partner I bet,"

"She had her tounge down your throat!"

"Yeah, and I told her to piss off!"

"And I told him"

"Did you 'cause you looked pretty close to me!"

"Do you not trust me!"

"No! I don't why would I trust you when I see you grinding up on some stranger,"

"Why would I trust you when your deep throating some bar bitch!" I cried,

"Fine. if you don't trust me. Fine. Go home!" He yelled grabbing his keys from his pocket,

"Fine, go! snog half the girls in New York for all I care!" I yelled, "This is over!"

"Fine by me!" He yelled as he climbed into his car started up and drove off without a word, the sight of his taillights disappearing in the rain as he left me stranded. The moment he was gone I regretted everything now all I wanted was to say I was sorry. I looked at the phone but I couldn't even move.

I sat at my table trying to play chess but my mind couldn't stop thinking about... that night. It had all been so perfect I came back to her waiting for me and I gave her all the hugs and kisses telling her how bad I missed her while I was gone. We went out to celebrate my victory and she was as sweet as sugar, after dinner we went out for a drink. We both drank far too much but we were both in a flirty giggly mood likely excited about going back and having fun after I'd been gone for six months. she wanted to dance as always, she loved to dance but it's never my kinda thing, she begged and pleaded so I gave in.

"You can go dance without me, I'll be here you go have fun." I gave her cheek a small kiss, I know she loves to dance I'll just slow her down.

She went and began her dancing I had my drink and kept an eye on her, she really is an amazing dancer I just wish I could keep up with her. I spotted some guy eyeing her up so I glared in his direction but that didn't deter him, he went over and danced with her and I couldn't hold back my glares. She saw me but before I could go over or see what she did A girl sat in Y/n's seat,

"Ohh someone's sitting there," I told her,

"Not right now," she cooed, "what's your name?"

"Uhh Benny,"

"Lina, you're really cute."

"Uhh thanks but I have a girlfriend,"

"Oh? she the invisible girl in this seat then?" she chuckled,

"No, no she's dancing, but I am very much taken you're better putting your moves somewhere else."

"The Y/H/C?" She asked looking to the dance floor,

I looked and my blood boiled with jealousy seeing him dancing with her, He had his hands all over her, grinding up on her practically dry-humping her on the dance floor! "What the hell-" I began,

"She seems busy, how about I make you busy too," she cooed grabbing my neck and pulling me to kiss her, I did kiss back for a second or two but I forced her away I looked and saw Y/n storming out,

"I said no." I told the girl before I followed Y/n out into the rain, "What the hell was that!"

"Me!" she got defensive immediately like she'd done nothing wrong,

"Yes, you! What the hell was that for!"

"Me! I wasn't doing anything!"

"Weren't you! I saw you! Grinding up on that bastard!"

She went silent, as she always does...

"I saw you, humping, grinding, he had his hands all over you, any more he would have been throwing you against the wall and raw dogging you in front of everyone! what the hell! You're my girlfriend! You don't even let me dance with you like that!"

"You never want to,"

"Ohh so if I go dancing with you I'm allowed to fucking dry hump you in the middle of the bar! Or is that just for strangers?" I yelled both of us getting soaked through by the rain but I was so angry at her I couldn't stop,

"why are you screaming at me you kissed her!"

"Ohh for- I was telling her I had a girlfriend,"

"We're you?"

"I was. something you neglected to tell your dance partner I bet,"

"She had her tounge down your throat!"

"Yeah, and I told her to piss off!"

"And I told him"

"Did you 'cause you looked pretty close to me!"

"Do you not trust me!"

"No! I don't why would I trust you when I see you grinding up on some stranger,"

"Why would I trust you when your deep throating some bar bitch!" she began to cry,

"Fine. if you don't trust me. Fine. Go home!" I yelled grabbing my keys,

"Fine, go! snog half the girls in New York for all I care!" she yelled, "This is over!"

"Fine by me!" I yelled as I got into my car, if she really doesn't want me fine I'll go she can do whatever she wants, I watched her crying in my rearview mirror as I drove away and the moment I left I knew I fucked up.

The memory of it all makes me feel so shitty, we should never have gotten so angry at each other if we just talked like adults and if we both hadn't been such jealous idiots... none of this would have happened... we're both to blame. And I've never regretted anything more in my life. I looked at the phone next to me but I had to I grabbed it and dialled her number listening to it ring.

"Hello?"

"Y/n?"

"Benny?"

"Yeah... I uhh" I sighed before I let it all out, "I love you, I love you so so much I regret everything I said please... please I am so sorry."

"I love you too, I'm so sorry-"

"It's okay, it's okay. Please just come home... please... we'll talk it all out once you're here but... please come home, Y/n."

"I'm on my way." 

[health-views-updates]

Forecasting Molecular Modeling Market Growth, Size & Revenue 2024-2032

The Molecular Modeling Market is witnessing rapid growth, driven by advancements in technology and an increasing demand across various industries, including pharmaceuticals, biotechnology, and chemical manufacturing. According to recent reports, the global market for molecular modeling is expected to experience substantial expansion, with projections indicating a significant rise in market revenue over the coming years. Molecular Modeling Market Revenue is expected to increase as companies leverage this technology for applications in drug discovery, material science, and chemical analysis, among others.

The rise in the demand for computational chemistry and molecular simulations is a primary factor driving the growth of the molecular modeling market. As pharmaceutical companies increasingly rely on molecular modeling to develop new drugs and materials, the need for accurate molecular simulations continues to grow. This demand is complemented by advancements in artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning (ML), which have significantly improved the efficiency of molecular design and simulation processes.

Molecular modeling involves using computer-based techniques to predict the structure, properties, and behavior of molecules. With applications across drug design, material science, and environmental science, molecular modeling tools assist researchers in making predictions about molecular interactions, reactions, and properties without the need for expensive and time-consuming experiments. In pharmaceutical industries, for instance, molecular modeling plays a key role in simulating the interaction between drug molecules and biological targets, enabling more effective drug design processes.

In addition to its prominence in drug discovery, molecular modeling is also gaining traction in industries such as materials science, where it aids in the development of new materials with desirable properties, including polymers, coatings, and even advanced semiconductors. This sector’s growth further complements the expanding scope of the molecular modeling market, which is expected to see significant investment from key industry players in the coming years. The growing demand for automation in molecular simulations is also anticipated to contribute significantly to market growth, offering promising opportunities for both established and emerging players.

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The increasing focus on sustainability and the development of eco-friendly solutions has further boosted the demand for molecular modeling in the chemical and materials industries. Molecular modeling techniques enable the design of greener chemical processes, less harmful materials, and sustainable solutions that address the growing global emphasis on environmental concerns. Additionally, the integration of molecular modeling with big data analytics is expected to improve the overall accuracy and efficiency of molecular simulations, thereby increasing the market value.

The market is also being shaped by the growing number of collaborations between academic institutions, research organizations, and private industry players. These collaborations are aimed at accelerating the development of new molecular modeling tools and techniques, enhancing the accuracy of simulations, and pushing the boundaries of what molecular modeling can achieve. As a result, the molecular modeling market is poised for continuous evolution, as new research breakthroughs and technological advancements unlock further opportunities.

Geographically, North America currently holds the largest share of the molecular modeling market, followed by Europe and the Asia-Pacific region. The presence of leading pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies, as well as robust research and development activities, contributes significantly to the dominance of North America in the global market. However, the Asia-Pacific region is expected to witness the fastest growth rate, owing to increasing investments in R&D, the expansion of pharmaceutical and biotechnology sectors, and growing demand for molecular simulation tools in emerging economies such as China and India.

Market leaders in the molecular modeling space are continuously investing in the development of new solutions that cater to the evolving needs of industries such as healthcare, chemicals, and materials science. These innovations, along with advancements in computational power and software capabilities, are set to further enhance the growth prospects of the molecular modeling market.

Overall, the molecular modeling market is on track for substantial growth, with increasing applications in a range of industries and the continuous development of new technologies. Companies involved in this market must remain agile and forward-thinking to leverage emerging trends such as AI, machine learning, and sustainable solutions to maintain a competitive edge.

About Us: SNS Insider is one of the leading market research and consulting agencies that dominates the market research industry globally. Our company's aim is to give clients the knowledge they require in order to function in changing circumstances. In order to give you current, accurate market data, consumer insights, and opinions so that you can make decisions with confidence, we employ a variety of techniques, including surveys, video talks, and focus groups around the world.

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[mateodoodle]

Dear friends🕊

I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for your kindness during this challenging time. I am Ghadder Al Arqan, Ashraf Almughanni's wife, reaching out to share our urgent situation. ‼️

We have lost everything due to the conflict in Gaza. Our son Yamen was born just months after the war began, and his future is uncertain. Ashraf is working tirelessly to secure a safe life for us.

Even a small donation of €10 or €20 can make a significant difference for Yamen’s future. And Your contributions will help us navigate this crisis and build a brighter tomorrow.

Our campaign is verified by ✅️

🟡 @gazavetters

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Thank you for your support. It means the world to us.

Vetted link, number 3 here. €9,419/10k

[jasperhyde]

Hi, I'm Abeer from Gaza. Help me, my kids and my family by donating and sharing. I would be very grateful if you donated to us. Thank you in advance. 🙏❤️Please don't ignore my message🙏🏻✌️🍉🫶

Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #79 ) https://www.gofundme.com/f/urgent-relief-for-family-living-in-tent

[lilolilyr]

Reader Wordcount tag - April

January, February & March

I just spent half an hour going through my history, adding my external source bookmarks, subtracting my 'to read' bookmarks etc... and apparently I have read something between 1mil400k and 2mil300k words last month!

Tagging everyone who sees this and is insane enough to go look through their Ao3 history :))

My Ao3 history March 2024: 2757+18225+1456+8301+12275+6971+1214+2182+1045+10154+34403+5649+11818+32509+1508+1997+2006+12257+1021+4502+11753+4794+819+5887+4923+865000+500+1803+2783+2429+5402+753+3232+6704+6673+2386+19827+2132+19418+7333+59415+11818+1503+12046+2227+5073+3304+32193+4323+10955+3680+5780+3451+3689+10510+15443+8032+12285+4176+3774+208882+1436+2995+2600+30000+2307+86+10560+2105+11813+48360+592+404+6319+2770+821+1738+3325+52+88468+78101+6780+31630+3589+3991+208558+5504+80+1034+16257+2965+4202+4481+16831+1075+40827+4080+4390+1492+6457+9272+7963+6482+12347+8018+1765+3895+45593+10832+1730+14534+1038+3788+1809+1796+39243+518+1434+3497+4198+3465+1487+2357+4598+3772+30+20391+8554+13051+625+7621+2561+1003+2395+106610+2397+1175+32757+1416+1102+1545+1915+65845+3882+2825+9454+92448+41603+990+70458+14+360646+28775+29793+29012+7385+5618+2598+2928= 3.383.288

'to read', 'to continue reading' and 'don't read' bookmarks': −4753−29012−7385−5618−2598−2928−35002−92448−9454−252116−2397−9922−14534−45593−6457−40827−16257−1034−3774−6485−78101−11818−10510−34403−10070−865000−2105−39243−48360−402442−39243−106610−20391−4481−40548−78101−15443−34403= −2.429.866

'external source' bookmarks: 21000+69000+81000+113000+3000+5000+51000+6000+33000+39000+10000=431.000 (suspicious that so little. I think I missed some)

3.383.288−2.429.866+431.000=1.384.422

But apparently a bunch of the numbers I subtracted don't have a corresponding identical number in my history?? Maybe I bookmarked some series to read, in which case I may or may not have clicked on some or all works in the series... Not gonna try to figure that out. Anyway 4753+252116+6485+78101+34403+10070+39243+402442+40548=868161words which I may or may not have read

1384422+868161= 2.252.583

@toboldlynerd thx for letting me live blog spam you with the math xD

[maitreychauhan]

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[truhomesrealtyqualityproperties]

𝘼𝙧𝙞𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙊𝙣𝙚 upcoming properties location is nothing short of number one and is strategically located in Sector 1 Greater Noida West.

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 - 𝟖𝟓𝟏𝟐 𝟖𝟖𝟖 𝟕𝟎𝟎

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

A Brief Commentary on Clothing Construction

I’ve seen a lot of people on here and other social media platforms discuss fashion, especially why things cost so much and why our favorite celebrities spend so much money on expensive brands or goods. I know for many people it’s shocking to see someone wearing something that can cost a month’s rent or even the down payment on a property or car for a single item, but keep in mind the following factors:

Your favorite celebrity was probably borrowing/renting the clothes for free. Luxury brands are striving to get likeable role models wearing their clothes, which in turn spurs their fans and other individuals in that age group to buy or consider their brand.

A stylist probably chose that clothing item or brand so the celebrity looks modern and pulled together. These people are paid to make celebrities look good and photo-worthy – while they may take input from their clients, they’re dressing the celebrity to fit an image.

Based on the celebrity’s profession and net worth, they may have been purchased with their funds based on their personal taste.

Regardless of the reasons, I know many balk at the price tags of things and wonder why spend so much when you can get something cheaper. Below the cut, I delve into some of my learnings from sewing and clothing construction courses I’ve taken, plus general observations I’ve made as I’ve done my own projects and information I’ve read. Please note I am not an expert in this field – these are my personal thoughts.

Back in the olden days, people either made their clothes at home (sewing was a practical skill taught at a young age) or if you had money, you paid a tailor to make you clothes based on your measurements. It wasn’t until the 20th Century when clothing that was made and ready to purchase and wear was sold in designated clothing shops and boutiques. (Ready-to-wear)

Sewing as a skill has evolved throughout the recent years – before the invention of the sewing machine, you sewed by hand, which is a tedious act that requires focus and patience. Modern sewing machines nowadays can create beautiful rows of even stitches that will stay in place with every tug, pull, and stretch that the garment goes through. (Also it requires less time to assemble pieces of fabric into something wearable.)

Rundown of Sewing Methods/Machines

Hand sewing: Takes the longest, requires a steady hand, and a lot of patience and practice to achieve. Ideal for small fixes (Ex. Loose buttons, small holes in clothes, etc.) in a pinch. Often fashions houses will employ this technique when applying a decoration or design treatment to highlight the craftsmanship. (The latter may contribute to a higher price as this cannot be achieved by a machine – often an individual or artisan is doing this one by one.)

Basic Sewing Machine: Good for the home sewer, pre-programed with basic stitches and sewing functions. Anyone from a beginner to an expert can use one. Most of the models are digital and have screens where you tap to adjust the stitch size, width, and type before using a foot pedal to make the machine start sewing. Typically these are suited for lightweight and medium fabrics – exercise caution and care if sewing with heavier duty fabrics like furniture upholstery and leather. (The latter will require special needles.)

Industrial Sewing Machine: Like the name indicates, these are for factories who produce tons of clothing on a regular basis. They are robust machines that can sew any type of garment with any fabric with few errors or issues. There are a few available for regular home sewing purposes, but keep in mind these are going to be bigger and may require more space.

Serger: If you’ve ever seen the hem on a t-shirt and turned it up to see a complex network of threads intertwined in the back, while 2 parallel lines are visible on top, this was done on a serger machine. Often these are in factories and they create finished seams in garments, creating a cleaner look inside the garment. (Also they reinforce the areas where pieces were sewed together – the complex network of threads helps to keep those areas sewed together.) There are home versions of these machines, but smaller.  

Reasons for Higher Cost

Where was this made? Every garment has a tag that states where your clothing was made. If your clothes were made in a first or second world country, chances are the costs are higher to produce that garment, based on wages for the workers, conditions, etc. Third world countries have different labor laws and it’s cheaper to outsource goods – this is why many people will see Made in China/Vietnam/Thailand/etc. on cheaper clothing.

What materials were used to make this? Synthetics like polyester, nylon, and some viscose blends are manmade and they’re cheaper to manufacture. Natural fibers like cotton, silk, and wool came from plants and animals – depending on a variety of factors including weather and conditions where the fiber was produced, the cost of natural fibers can fluctuate based on demand and availability of raw materials.

How was it constructed? Study the seams and the decoration application. One of the basic things they taught me in clothing construction was a variety of seams, from zigzag to French seams. Flat fell seams and French seams require more time to complete and finish than a zigzag seam. The high end designers tend to use these last two seams, along with serger finishing for a clean look. If you’re a woman/identify as one, you may notice some rounded seams in the chest areas of dresses, blouses, and other fitted apparel – these are called princess seams and they’re added to help the fabric lie/drape around your chest in a flattering way. (They can be tricky to construct but they can elevate and improve the fit in a garment – another detail you may find in designer clothing.) If you notice that something is lined (inside of a jacket, inside of an evening dress, etc.), that may be a contributing factor to the cost. Essentially, you’re making a thinner/lighter “shell” of the item to put inside the main garment to give it a more professional finish and feel. In many cases for jackets, linings hide seams and the person wearing it will have something softer against their skin. (Ex. Sports letterman jackets are usually made of wool/wool blend , but the main body of the jacket is lined with a satin or silk fabric so it’s gentler on the wearer’s body and makes it easier for them to slip their arms into it.)

Misc

Leather can be difficult to work with. Based on the animal your hide came from, how old it is, and the treatment done to the leather, prices can vary on leather goods. Those who work in the material tend to make a draft version in a cheaper fabric (a muslin) before they start sewing because once you put a hole in leather, it cannot be removed/disappear like a knit or a woven. No two hides are the same and every single one will have imperfections, unless the designer cuts or treats the leather in a way that hides those imperfections. The trade off with this material is that it is very durable and with proper TLC can last for a long time. (You’ll often see it for motorcycle and biker apparel because it will protect the wearer if they fell from their bike and not rip open.) Doc Martens are known for being made of very stiff leather that requires patience (and pain in many cases) to break in and mold to your feet – the original intention of these shoes was a practical, long-lasting utilitarian shoe for the worker that would protect their feet while working.

Modern clothes are colored with synthetic dyes, which is how you can achieve vibrant colors in a broad spectrum of shades. Anything made with a natural dye (from plants) will have a less vibrant shade, unless the garment has been dyed multiple times to get a deeper/richer hue. Often the natural dyes will be in more neutral colors and the dye job may look uneven, depending on the treatment/process. (Ex. BTS’s RM wears a lot of clothing from Visvim, many of which were dyed using veggie and plant-based dyes, which are gentler on the earth.)

Denim has changed, due to material availability and a broad range of body types in consumers. Previously denim was 100% cotton and was stiff – often it required many wears to soften the denim and mold it to fit your body well. With people being different shapes and sizes, majority of denim seen in regular retailers will have higher percentages of elastic and synthetic fibers that are stretchy to accommodate different wearers. The elastic and synthetics are more forgiving to those with curvier figures and they won’t be as stiff to wear off the rack. (Most Western brands utilize this material composition as it allows them to sell their pairs to a wide range of consumers.) In contrast, Japanese selvage denim is constructed with a higher cotton content and minimal elastic/stretch and in some cases is dyed with real indigo plant dyes. (Western brands are rarely utilizing true indigo dye and rely on a manmade version to achieve the denim blue color.) Japanese selvage denim will have a stiffer feel and will take time to break in, but the pairs may last you longer as there’s less elastic fiber content. (Over time, elastic stretches out and with frequent washing and drying at high temperatures, fibers snap and break, often resulting in the jeans losing their shape and looking baggy.)

[sugar-petals]

interesting asteroids to look up in your natal chart

➝ use the number to find it in an extended chart selection 

3 Juno — your marriage and commitment

46 Hestia — your home life

433 Eros — how you fall in love

399 Persephone — how you retreat

1108 Demeter — your relation with food

2 Pallas — your wisdom

3361 Orpheus — your obsession and grief

78 Diana — your independence

4450 Pan — your relationship with nature

3671 Dionysus — how you indulge

7328 Casanova — your flirting style

3989 Odin — your personal power

76 Freya — your gift of sorcery

1388 Aphrodite — your brand of beauty

1862 Apollo — the talents that make you beam

80 Sappho — your poetic side

42 Isis — your caring side

1923 Osiris — how you regenerate

2598 Merlin — your magical skill

9499 Excalibur — how to find your breakthrough

1198 Atlantis — a forgotten wisdom

6123 Aristotle — how you break your delusions

5450 Sokrates — your conversational skill

5451 Plato — your world view

11911 Angel — your heavenly task

tip: the houses you find them in represent the areas in life where their influence is felt the most. conjunctions with chart angles and planets (esp sun & moon) give prominence to an asteroid as well.

[aureumjeon]

hush (m) jjk

pairing; jungkook x reader

genre; established relationship, college au.

warning; public indecency, exhibitionism, exhibition kink, tit sucking, jungkook loves your tits, fingering, degradation, pwp really.

word count; 2598

summary;

➜ when you invited your boyfriend to a study date at the library on a Friday night, studying was your only intention. Of course, Jungkook always had a knack of ruining your plans.

a/n; now that this is out of the wayy, i will now be working on my money matters prequel! i hope you look forward to that one! 

"For the last time, kook," you discreetly pushed off his arm around your torso, hand comfortably purchased on your clothed breast. "I called you here to study with me, not mess around."

He only let out a small airy grunt in reply, not caring about a single word you just said. The wooden legs of the chair he was situated on dragged across the gray carpeted floor as he moved closer to you, once again sliding his arm around your body and fixating his hand back to its previous position.

"J-jungkook..." You whined as you felt his slender fingers gently knead at your mound, even with a bra on, he could sense how hard your nipple has become at his lingering touch. The words that tumbled out your mouth said no but your body language says otherwise. The blunt edges of your teeth painfully dug into the soft flesh of your bottom lip while you tried your best to suppress the needy moans wanting to escape.

"Tell me to stop." A hint of challenge lacing his tone with the slight curve of his lips. He knew how much he affected you; how his honey slicked voice crawled under your skin and shot straight to your core. 

Exhibitionism wasn't on top of your list but it was on his. 

Although no matter how much he wanted to do bad things to you under the prying and watchful eyes of those around you, your consent has always been and always will be his priority.

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop." jungkook was growing impatient by the second, you can tell by how hard he was squeezing at your breast.

"D-dont--" you faintly mouthed, burying your face in the curve of his neck. His musky scent overpowering your senses and doubling the wetness forming between your legs. "s-stop..."

"Fuck" he cursed under his breath, you were too fucking good for him. He temporarily released his grip on you and plotted his next move.

At this point, the only thing you could do is hope your mouth stays close like your eyes.

You felt the hem of your skirt hitch up as his right hand roamed the expanse of your quivering thighs. Just as you were about to close it shut, he jammed his hand in between them.

"I don't think so, baby." It came out as a whisper and got you squirming in your seat. He scanned the premises of the facility, the number of people inside could be counted with the fingers on his hand. It was pretty empty considering that it was a Friday night, most college students would rather hang out at a party than study in library.

In the eyes of an outsider, the two of you only looked like a normal couple. A loving boyfriend letting his exhausted girlfriend take a nap on his shoulder. How sweet. 

What they don't know won't kill them and if they find out, well, it'll only rile him up more.

At the back of your mind, you thank god that you chose a spot facing the wall. If you didn't, the person sitting on the table parallel to yours would have a front row seat to your dripping pussy.

"You like that?" Jungkook's hand found its way to your clothed core, trailing the pad of his fore and middle finger over the newly moistened patch. "God, you're always so fucking wet for me, y/n."

The heat and wetness of your aroused cunt have gotten to him, a noticeable tent forming at the crotch area of his sweatpants. He quickly grasped your hand and pressed it against his growing erection.

 "Shit..."

 You shut your eyes even tighter and braced yourself for what was about to come next when he began pushing your underwear to the side.

A breathless whimper was all you can utter at the sensation of sudden intrusion, his middle finger shoved inside your hole down to the last knuckle.

"Always so tight, you dirty slut. Clenching around my finger like vice grips."All his words came out as a mumble, barely audible, still it sent shockwaves of electricity throughout your entire body. Nobody does it like him, only jungkook has got this much control and power over you.

"Be good a girl for me and unbutton your shirt, I want to suck on those perky nipples of yours."

Somehow your breath gets caught up in your throat, and you're suddenly gasping for air. How can his presence be so suffocating and enticing at the same time like you're drowning in a deadly sea with a lifeboat next to you but you decided you’d rather die and be enveloped by the waters. 

You do as you're told, unbuttoning your blouse half way through just enough for your boobs to poke out.

"Damn," Jungkook kissed your forehead, giving you ample time to hold your head steady after leaning on him for a while.

He then laid his head cradled by his arm on the surface of the table, his face conveniently positioned in front of your chest. With his same hand, he hooked a finger under the front band of your bra and tugged it downwards. Your plump breast bounced deliciously against the force and you can see the way his pupil blew up with lust and fervor.

"Will never get tired of these." Jungkook confessed, dipping his head closer and taking in one pert nipple in his mouth. Slowly and surely, he was taking time sucking at your sensitive nub. His idle hand took note of the nipple he physically couldn't reach with his mouth and did its purpose. Pinching and tweaking.

The wet feeling of his mouth, tongue and fingers on your burning skin had you bucking your hips into his stagnant finger. Whining and yearning for any sort of friction.

"Oh," he smiled while still latched onto your nipple, "I'm sorry, I forgot." He sunk his teeth into your hardened bud; the ardent sting has got you curling your toes inside your shoes and hands gripping at the edge of your seat.

"They don't call you golden tits for nothing," he proudly boasts, not his fault that his girl was one of the hottest chicks in the entire university.

He slid another finger in you, pumping it at a leisurely pace while his hot mouth was still connected to your breast. Lapping and nipping at the bud and the skin around it, eliciting goosebumps to emerge on every square inch of your body.

 "J-jungkook.."

 "Yes?" He cooed, slightly tilting his head up and peppered your collarbone with kisses. Occasionally stopping and sucking at a certain spot until a purple bruise blooms.

You deduced Jungkook was certainly taking his time. His digits stroked your aching walls at an excruciatingly timid pace, thumb not even meeting your clit once. At this point getting caught was the least of your worries, the only goal you wanted to achieve was to come.

"Please, please, please..." You lowered your head and rested your burning forehead against his cheek while he continued marking your unmarred skin. "I w-want to cum,” 

You almost choked on your own spit as you fought the sob crawl from your throat when he shoved his digits deeper into you, the tip of his finger caressing the rough spot inside your sex. Your back arched on the backrest of your chair and you held your head from falling back too far. 

“Hmm?” his hooded gaze stared at your face inches away from his, a recognizable grimace inscribed on it. Your brows furrowed, almost meeting at the center of your face; eyes shuttered, scantily masking the ache you were feeling; cheeks flushed hot, dusted with a carmine tinge. Your lips trembled, even when set in a thin line. Jungkook knows this ‘face’ of yours all too well, he’s well aware of what he needs to do.

“Please…” this was too much, you could feel every muscle in your body tense up and knot to the point where it started to hurt. Your hands shook uncontrollably when you clutched onto Jungkook’s shoulder, nails digging into his jacket, pleading, begging.

“Jungkook…” Tears began gathering at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill if you were still denied of your craved orgasm. 

“Y/n,” You opened your eyes only to see Jungkook staring intently at the distraught mess you’ve become. “Hush.” With a lecherous smirk etched on his pink lips and an amorous glint in his deep-set brown eyes. 

His wrist snapped and his calloused fingers recklessly propelled into the deepest depth of your pussy. The clogs in the pit of your stomach finally began turning, and you felt your strained shoulders loosen up as he continued to assault your starving cunt with his straight jabs.

You steadied your breathing as best as you could and carefully observed those around you. Thankfully they were still busy minding their own business to notice yours. You leaned back in your seat and angled your hips so that your boyfriend’s fingers can sharpen its thrust into you. A relieved and blissful sigh escaped your lips as you revelled at the new and exhilarating emotion this was bringing you. 

“Such a needy slut.” Jungkook chuckled, watching his digits get sucked in by your narrow cavern and every time he pulled out, it got even more coated with your slick juices. He suddenly pulled out completely, making you clench painfully around nothing and you wail a little too loud. Your hands came flying straight to cover your mouth.

Jungkook’s clacked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, eyes piercing through yours “If we get caught, you won’t be able to cum, understand?” He inserted his two fingers drenched with your essence inside his mouth, hollowing his cheeks and sucking on it until it was bone dry, releasing it with a lewd pop. “Now, be a good slut and shut that dirty mouth of yours or else.” You know Jungkook well enough to know what me means with ‘or else.’ He’d have no trouble depriving you of your orgasm and walking out on you this instance if you commit even the slightest mistake.

 You obediently nodded without hesitation. 

 “Good girl.” He gently stroked your tear stained cheeks with his thumb and placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose. “Now,” This time he advanced three fingers past your dribbling folds and the stretch is indescribable, divine even. The way his long digits mercilessly scissored inside you, going against the natural reflex of your walls to constrict them has got you soaring near your anticipated high.

“Fuck,” he groaned at the way your balmy velvet walls wrapped around him perfectly. “You’re even tighter than before, fuck.” He imagined his dick in place of his fingers being hugged and milked by your incredible pussy for all it's got. The mere thought of him pounding into you made him harder. Shit, he can do that later. Now, he needs to give you what you want, what he came here to do. 

His lips found your neglected stiff nipple, latching onto it and sucking like a starved infant. 

"J-jungkook.." You sighed, droplet of sweat forming at your temples. The library was fully air-conditioned, but you were sweating buckets like you've been sitting in a sauna for the last ten minutes. Damn this boy and what he does to you. 

The force and accuracy of his fingers pushing into you and abusing your sweet spot while suckling on your bud has sent you spiraling into a delirious state. It's so tight, the coil in your stomach. "I'm so close…" 

 "Then come."

 He coaxed, tripling the speed of his digits rubbing against your convulsing walls. You never ceased to amaze him, if you were already tight before, he doesn't understand how your pussy is still clamping down on his fingers. "Fuck… Your cunt is fucking amazing..."

It doesn't take long before your eyes start rolling to the back of your skull and images of white stars fill the back of your eyelids. Relief, sweet relief flooded your body the moment you came. 

Before any of your juices got the chance to dribble down your thigh, Jungkook slides his finger across your swollen slit, scoops it up and shoves it back into you making you squeak in surprise.

 "You're not gonna let any of that go waste until I eat it out of you, understand?" 

A sly wicked grin appeared on Jungkook's face and you knew exactly what that meant. 

 --

 The jog from the library to Jungkook's apartment was the longest five minute in your life. Every part of your body, even the backs of your knees were coated with a thin sheen of sweat. Fuck all of this, you couldn't wait any longer. You slithered your body between him and the door and attached your hungry lips to his jugular. Your manicured fingernails scratching and digging into his back with much impatience.

"Fuck baby." Jungkook groaned as you nibbled and licked the expanses of tense his neck. Tasting the concoction of his sweat mixed with his favourite scent from Hugo boss. God, you loved how he tastes. How hot his skin becomes when it collides with yours, and how he makes you into the horny mess you are now. Fuck, you love everything about this man.

"So impatient." He fumbled with the keys for a few seconds before finding out it was unlocked. Hyung must have left if unlocked since he knew I was coming home, he thought. Paying no mind to it, their apartment building had great security anyways. 

"Kookie," you moaned, desperately trying to peel off his restricting clothes from his body while he did the same to yours. "Want you now." You mumbled, gliding your hand over the taut muscle of his abdomen.

Jungkook captured you by the waist, allowing you to wrap your legs around his torso. Taking a handful of your plump ass in his hand and then giving it a harsh slap. He trod the ten step walk from their front door to the living room couch, gently setting you down on the soft furniture.

"Want you, too" He couldn't wait either. With hooded lids, he marvelled at your immaculate image sprawled on his sofa. Supple skin glowing under the fluorescent light, tits barely contained by your lace bra, and your hair acting as a halo around your radiant face. You looked fucked up as ever, and he lives for it.

As he was about to unbuckle his belt and finally stick his dick into you, he was interrupted by a cough.

 "Um, excuse me?" Jungkook's platinum blond haired roommate started.

 "Oh shit, Yoongi-hyung." 

You bet yourself you were faster than flash, grabbing the decorative pillow next to you and concealing your exposed body.

"I-I thought you were..." anyone in the room can hear the sound of Jungkook gulping. "out with Namjoon-hyung?" He gave a crooked smile, side-stepping to the left just enough to cover you with his own naked self. 

"Last minute cancel," the elder shrugged nonchalantly, as if he hadn't seen something he shouldn't have. "Don't worry about me. I'll mind my own business. You love birds can continue." He retreated back to his genius lab.

Jungkook looked at you, blush creeping up to the curve of his ears. "Sorry about that," lips curling into an innocent smile "where were we?" 

Your fit of giggles we're unstoppable as you threw the pillow you were holding onto, aiming for his face. “Shut up, Kook.” You couldn't believe the audacity of this boy. 

--

[mxtxsblog]

SJ's popularity in Chinese fandom

Hi! So discussing about SJ’s characters, I got curious.

I love fandom statistics, but unfortunately I can’t do them. Shame.

But I like to compare numbers.

So I’m glad to present you the popularity of SJ in Chinese fandom.

And of course if I’ve messed up something, please correct me.

So SV is not a new novel, but the fandom is pretty active, because it was greatly delivered by MDZS’s success.

Of course many fans existed pre-2019, but it was not so common.

So. Ok.

The platform I’ve studied is Lofter, because I already know and like it. I can repeat this analysis with Weibo, if anybody is interested.

If you think Lofter isn’t representative, I’d love to discover a new one.

The machine translation I’ve used is google. I’ve tried DeepL, but I preferred Google for this one.

Disclaimers:

-Of course those are numbers. We can’t know if those posts are positive or negative about the ship and the character. My subjective experience as a fan is that usually Lofter users tag appropriately and not use lots of “anti” rhetoric.

-I know that fandom popularity doesn’t mean lots. Some pairings are AO3 very famous and the characters never interact! Some very popular ships are about characters who don’t even exist (like MorMo*!). But sometimes is nice to win the fandom lottery. Especially if my fave has a tragic terribile canon.

The fandom

http://www.lofter.com/tag/%E4%BA%BA%E6%B8%A3%E5%8F%8D%E6%B4%BE%E8%87%AA%E6%95%91%E7%B3%BB%E7%BB%9F

SVSSS

19.19 million views  55768 Participate

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B8%A3%E5%8F%8D

Another tag for SV

2.738 million views  20252 Participation

The characters

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B4%9B%E5%86%B0%E6%B2%B3

LBH

81 million views  26646 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B2%88%E6%B8%85%E7%A7%8B

Shen Qingqiu

1.557 million views  24757 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B2%88%E5%9E%A3

Shen Yuan

158,000 views  1952 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%B2%88%E4%B9%9D

SJ tag

2.381 million views  18145 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9F%B3%E6%B8%85%E6%AD%8C

LQG

615,000 views  4585 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%B0%9A%E6%B8%85%E5%8D%8E

Shang Qinghua

201,000 views  4230 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%BC%A0%E5%8C%97%E5%90%9B

115,000 views  3225 Participation

Mobeijun

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%B2%B3%E6%B8%85%E6%BA%90

YQY tag

86103 browse  2040 participation

The pairings

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%86%B0%E7%A7%8B

BinqQiu

15.748 million views  31865 Participate

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%86%B0%E4%B9%9D

BingJiu

19.307 million views  24873 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%BC%A0%E5%B0%9A

Moshang

4.755 million views  10113 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E4%B8%83%E4%B9%9D

QiJiu

1.292 million views  4363 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9F%B3%E4%B9%9D

LiuJiu

1.368 million views  2598 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9F%B3%E6%B2%88

Liushen

1.096 million views  1616 Participation

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E4%B9%9D%E5%9E%A3

Shencest

374,000 views  760 Participation

In comparison (minor but fan favorite characters from MDZS, numbers a month old)

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E8%96%9B%E6%B4%8B/new (Xue Yang’s tag, 4.285 million views 63724 participation)

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%99%93%E6%98%9F%E5%B0%98 (XXC’s tag, 1.261 million views 42671 participation )

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%AE%8B%E5%B2%9A (SL’s tag, 294,000 views 8902 participation )

http://www.lofter.com/tag/%E8%96%9B%E6%99%93 (XueXiao’s tag, 11.715 million views 27473 participation )

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E5%8F%8C%E9%81%93%E9%95%BF (S*ngXiao’s tag, 2.134 million views 8933 participation)

Big villain and pairing:

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E9%87%91%E5%85%89%E7%91%B6

JGY

7.574 million views  53113 Participate

https://www.lofter.com/tag/%E6%9B%A6%E7%91%A4

XiYao

29.03 million views  50793 Participate

Conclusion:

-SVSSS is smaller than MDZS but it’s an healthy and lively fandom

-SJ seems to be very popular. In fact he’s the most popular characters after BingQiu.

-XY has more posts than JGY. (My baby wins the lottery fandom)

-LBH is the most popular character, followed by SY (called SQQ, ofc)

-BingQiu is the most popular ship of the fandom (duh)

-BingJiu is SJ’s most popular pairing (duh)

In conclusion:

I’m happy because I’ve won another fandom lottery and this means lots and lots of free content for me.

[a-book-dragon]

I posted 2,927 times in 2021

329 posts created (11%)

2598 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 7.9 posts.

I added 1,071 tags in 2021

#mutual aid - 346 posts

#donate - 323 posts

#lefty theory - 154 posts

#fandom - 69 posts

#anarchy - 37 posts

#capitalism - 37 posts

#to see later - 29 posts

#important - 26 posts

#leftism - 25 posts

#socialism - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#egon schiele your art is mostly of people and self portraits but you don't aim to draw what is but rather what feels. you're expressive sens

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

look at this Gem i found

pls reblog with your results

115 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 04:28:43 GMT

#4

341 notes • Posted 2021-09-13 17:09:31 GMT

#3

help a palestinian woman pay rent

“My name is Nour from Palestine and I live in the besieged Gaza. I am now 23 years old. I lost my home and my husband in the war on Gaza. I now live in a rented house and I couldn't pay the rent for the house. Our life is full of sadness. We all live in fear. I have 3 kids. They need food, medicine and milk. And I couldn't work because I was sick. I hope you will stand by my side and help me get what I need.”

doctor’s notes:

house:

See the full post

547 notes • Posted 2021-08-25 08:10:26 GMT

#2

Having steered the higher-education terrain for a decade of my life, I know that degrees and credentials are primarily badges of compliance.

...

... those afflicted with ADHD have deficits in what he calls “rule-governed behavior,” as they are less responsive to rules of established authorities and less sensitive to positive or negative consequences. ODD young people, according to mainstream mental health authorities, also have these so-called deficits in rule-governed behavior, and so it is extremely common for young people to have a “dual diagnosis” of AHDH and ODD.

...

Many people with severe anxiety and/or depression are also anti-authoritarians. Often a major pain of their lives that fuels their anxiety and/or depression is fear that their contempt for illegitimate authorities will cause them to be financially and socially marginalized; but they fear that compliance with such illegitimate authorities will cause them existential death.

...

Americans have been increasingly socialized to equate inattention, anger, anxiety, and immobilizing despair with a medical condition, and to seek medical treatment rather than political remedies. What better way to maintain the status quo than to view inattention, anger, anxiety, and depression as biochemical problems of those who are mentally ill rather than normal reactions to an increasingly authoritarian society.

2217 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 12:23:20 GMT

#1

rb to make a biological essentialist mad <3

26005 notes • Posted 2021-04-28 21:39:13 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[whitewitchdani]

Laters, Baby: Chapter 10

Read Chapter 9 Here

Word Count: 2598

Pairing: Winchester!Sister x Lucifer

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of sex, language

A/N: Chapter 10! Let me know what you think and if you’d like to be tagged!

Later’s, Baby Masterlist

You were pleasantly surprised that, although you had slept in Hell and on the way here, you felt tired almost as soon as your head hit the pillow. You had gotten more sleep in the last 24 hours alone than all three Winchesters combined got in a week. Though, with everything that had happened, could anyone really blame you? 

You snuggled deeply into the sheets of the bed and took a deep breath. Flipping over to your other side, you pulled the silk sheets up to your... Silk sheets? You opened your eyes to see red silk sheets in place of the white cotton ones that had been there before. What the hell? you thought to yourself. You were facing the door of the bedroom at Bobby’s house so you hadn’t left, what was going on? You returned to your left side and gasped as you were met with a pair of deep blue eyes. 

“I know you said red was cliché, but these are so much more comfortable than the drab that was on here before, aren’t they?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Lucifer?”

“In the flesh. Well, sort of.”

“But, how? How’d you find-” you paused and let out a small laugh, “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”

“‘fraid so doll. I know you’re disappointed you don’t get all this in person but since my annoying little bro carved that warding into all of your ribs, I can’t find you physically. This is the only way we can talk.”

“Talk about what? Are you finally going to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Lucifer sat up against the headboard and you followed suit. He took a deep breath and pushed a piece of hair behind your ear. It may have only been a dream, but it felt so incredibly real to you; you felt his hand touch your face and the chill that went down your spine as a result. 

“I suppose it’s only fair that you know as much as I do. This involves you too.” He sighed and rose from the bed, beginning to pace in front of it. “You know, this whole thing is just as weird for me as it is for you. You’re... human. Your whole race is broken, flawed. And for some Dad-forsaken reason, I can’t bring myself to kill you. I’m developing feelings. It’s terrible.”

“Okay this is getting a little insulting...”

“But it’s not terrible, that’s the thing. I like it. I like you. I was there when Father created the soulmate connection for humans. It was beautiful, one of the only things I envied of your kind. It’s incredibly rare, but deep and powerful when it happens.” He moved to sit back beside you on the bed. “Why Father brought you to me, I am unsure, but I am glad he did. I am eager to complete the connection, because I know that once we do we will be incredible together. Powerful.”

“Complete the connection? What do you mean? And powerful? Lucifer I’m so lost right now.” 

He caressed your face, “Right now, we are only in the beginning stages of the connection. I miss you, but it’s tolerable. After we complete the connection, we will truly become soulmates. Our souls will intertwine and become one. The mixture of your humanity and my grace as a result will make us extremely powerful, BOTH of us.” 

“How do we complete the connection?”

Lucifer smirked, “That’s the fun part. I’ve never had intercourse with a human, but from what I’ve seen it looks extremely enjoyable.”

“Woah, woah, wait. What?? Okay, number one; please don’t call it intercourse. Number two; we complete the connection by having sex? Seriously??”

“Yes, angel. And when we do we will be inseparable. You will receive some of my grace, and I will receive some of your humanity, making us two of the most powerful beings in existence.”

“This...this is insane.” You leaned back and rubbed your temples.

“Trust me, I know. It won’t happen immediately, I’m not a monster.”

“You’re literally the devil.” 

“Yes, but like I said, I’m nothing if not one for the classics. All that old school romance stuff looks fun. Plus, it’s a rule of the connection, it cannot be forced in any way.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. For some reason you trusted Lucifer, but knowing those things put you more at ease regardless. You were lost in your own head when Lucifer suddenly stood, “I have to go.”

You stood as well, “Wait what? Why? Lucifer, I have so many questions.”

He walked towards you and brought you into his arms. It was strange; you kept forgetting this was a dream because everything felt so real. You could feel his cool arms around you and how safe you felt in them; you could smell him, although you couldn’t place it, as it was something completely Lucifer. You only knew two things in that moment: how much you missed Lucifer and how much you wanted him to kiss you right now. Both of those things were equally amazing and surprising to you. 

“You will wake soon. Come find me out there. Find Castiel, he will tell you the proper way to summon me. Knowing him, he is somewhat supportive of this since it’s Dad’s plan and will help you. The pain of the separation will get worse the longer we’re apart, so try to hurry,” he said with a smirk. 

He looked down and cupped your face in both of his hands. You swore your heart stopped; he was going to kiss you. He leaned in slowly and you closed your eyes, waiting for his cool lips to meet yours and...

You woke up abruptly, shooting up into a sitting position with a gasp. You sat forward so suddenly you almost knocked foreheads with Sam who was sitting next to you on the bed. Thankfully he was able to scoot back in time to avoid the collision, but you woke up so abruptly that even Dean and Bobby, who were standing at the foot of the bed, took a step back as well. 

You were sitting there breathing heavily for a few seconds before Sam broke the silence, “Y/N, what the hell just happened?”

Turning to look at your twin, you tried to come up with a deflection on the fly, “What do you mean? I took a nap and had a nightmare, not exactly a new occurrence.”

Sam turned to look at the two men at the foot of the bed before turning back to his sister, “Y/N/N we’ve been trying to wake you up for over an hour, nothing’s worked. When we finally gave up you woke up on your own.” He handed you the glass of water he’d placed on the bedside table when he first came upstairs.

“Yeah, so you wanna try the truth this time?” Dean snapped, folding his arms.

After taking a long drink, you dropped your head into your hands; everything that was going on your life was starting to give you a migraine. The last thing you wanted to tell your family was that you spent your time in dreamland with Lucifer. You rubbed at your temples while contemplating on how to explain what had happened, reluctantly deciding on the truth.

You looked to your family and began, “I came up here to lay down and must’ve fallen asleep because when I rolled over, Lucifer was there.”

Dean cursed and ran a hand over his face, but Bobby was confused. “I don’t understand. How exactly did that happen?”

“Angels can enter our subconscious mind while we’re dreaming. Cas has done it to Dean before and Lucifer did it to me soon after he took Nick as a vessel. Y/N, what did he say to you?”

“He explained the soulmate connection; what it takes to complete it and what will happen afterwards.”

“Yeah you complete it and you’re like, officially soulmates. Being separated from you wouldn’t weaken him,” explained Sam.

You looked at Sam and sighed, “That’s part of it.”

Dean walked forward, “Wait, part?? What the hell else is there? Cas only told us about the completing part.”

You looked at your brother incredulously, “Good to know you knew more about this thing that affects me than I did,” you fidgeted with your hands and took a deep breath. Telling your brothers the next part was not going to be easy, you partly expected Dean to actually explode. 

“According to Lucifer, we complete the bond by, well, having sex,” you continued, causing everyone in the room to cringe at your statement. “But after that, apparently something happens, something mystical. He said that once the bond is completed, I will receive some of his grace and he’ll receive some of my humanity, causing us to become two of the most powerful beings in all of creation.”

You looked up from your fidgeting hands to see three pairs of wide eyes staring back at you. It wasn’t really surprising; you did just drop a huge bomb in their lap. You were having trouble believing it yourself. 

Dean suddenly swiped the books that were on the desk across the room onto the floor. You flinched at the sudden outburst. It wasn’t too surprising though; you knew Dean would be pissed.

“Hey, some of them books are one of a kind boy. I know you ain’t happy but if you ruin one of them books, I’ll put a boot in yer ass.” Bobby moved to pick up some of the books off of the floor, “I was buildin’ up a collection of books on archangels and this is what I got so far. How about instead of getting all hot and bothered, we do some research and try to find out what to do about this?”

Before anyone could move, Dean exploded. He turned to you, looking madder than you had ever seen him. “How are you so calm?? You just dropped that giant bomb on us so nonchalantly. Are you, like, okay with this or something?”

You stood from the bed, “Of course I’m not okay with this Dean! I don’t think any of us are okay with anything that has happened in the past year. But after talking to him, I think that I am Lucifer’s main focus, not the apocalypse. If we become as powerful as he says we will, we can strengthen Nick and he won’t need to take Sam as a vessel! 

“And I’m human! Don’t you think maybe loving and being with a human will cause him to maybe not hate us as a species so much? Angels are real, Dean, which means God is real. I know this is a concept that both of us have struggled to come to terms with, but now? I don’t think we have a choice. He apparently made me for Lucifer and I can feel it. It’s not something we can just ignore and hope goes away. Being away from him much longer is going to start to be physically painful. We’re running out of options.”

Dean’s face was stone; he always was hard to read. You couldn’t tell what was running through his mind and you were worried. Bobby and Sam were silent near the door, watching the scene unfold before them. They had learned long ago to not get in between a Dean-Y/N fight; it was how Sam earned his first black eye as a kid. 

The stone face was beginning to turn red, “No. No we are not out of options. Our original plan could still work. We can still shove the Devil back in the box!”

“And how do you think that would affect me, huh? I can already feel how being away from him is affecting me. Imagine if we put him back in the cage, what would happen to me? We’re Winchester’s, this is apparently our destiny!”

Dean scoffed, “Destiny?? God can take destiny and shove it right up his ass. You shouldn’t have any part in this, Y/N. I should’ve made you stay at Stanford when Dad went missing. This isn’t your fight; you aren’t even really a Winchester.”

“DEAN!”

You barely heard Sam’s exclamation. Your eyes went wide and your chest tightened as your worst fear became reality right in front of you. Ever since you found out you weren’t really their sister this was your greatest fear, that they’d drop you like yesterday’s newspaper. 

The room was silent as they awaited your reaction. A single tear slipped down your face as you finally met Dean’s gaze again.

“Get out,” you said quietly. 

You were too calm. It would’ve been better if you had started screaming at him. Bobby started herding Dean towards the door while Sam remained in the corner of the room. Dean had immediately regretted what he’d said as soon as it slipped past his lips. He turned and paused in the doorway, “Y/N/N-”

“I SAID GET OUT!” You grabbed the glass of water from the bedside table and launched it towards your brother. It impacted on the wall near his head, Dean ducking out of the doorway in the nick of time. 

You were breathing heavily as the door closed. You walked up and leaned your forehead against it, tears streaming down your face when a hand landed on your shoulder. Spinning around you came face to face with Sam, who you had forgotten was still in the room. 

“Please, just go Sam.”

“Dean didn’t mean that, Y/N. He’s just upset and worried. You ARE a Winchester, no matter if John and Mary are your parents or not. Obviously, you were meant to be in our family and as Bobby always says, family don’t end with blood.”

You smiled at your twin who returned it. In that moment you knew what you were going to do about the situation at hand. But you knew you couldn’t without saying something to Sam.

“Sam, you’re the best twin any girl could ever ask for. You’ve been my best friend my whole life and you were there for me through everything. I love you, Sam. So much. But you can’t be there for me through this. I’m sorry.” 

“I love you too, Y/N/N. What’s going on? What’re you sorry for?”

“For this.” You opened the door and shoved your brother through, closing and locking it after he was out. To ensure your twin’s six-foot-four frame wouldn’t bust through, you shoved the dresser in front of it as well. 

Standing there for a second, you just listened to Sam bang on the door, calling for you and then for Dean and Bobby. You knew you didn’t have much time before the three of them would be able to get the door open.

You closed your eyes and for a minute the room was bathed in silence. When you opened them again, you waited expectantly. Suddenly, there was a whoosh sound and you turned to the figure that had appeared in front of the window.

“Y/N, your brothers are on the other side of that door and very upset. What is happening? Why have you barricaded yourself from them and called me?” Cas squinted his eyes and tilted his head at you, a trait you had always found endearing. 

“I need help Cas and I know you’re the only one who will help me.”   

“What is it that you need?”

You took a deep breath and took a step towards the angel, “I need you to help me summon Lucifer.”  

Read Chapter 11 Here

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