#null exception comic

[null-exception-comic]

UPDATE

I wanted to give a little update on what my coming out of hiatus is. I want to solidify the relationships between my characters and their lifestyles.

That being said: I want to start fresh with things! I will be re-introducing characters and finally introducing the rest properly! Basically a restart of the blog.

This is gonna take some times because of college so bear with me lol. I am but one person lol

[madiroller]

Art Fight Attack #2

Drew a silly little image of my fantroll Suteka and @sharklilly ‘s fantroll Dexvig! It’s based on an image I will put down below under this caption!

[null-exception-comic]

How about a purple blood animator/artist that loves a gruesome plot line?

GRAB BAG JUDGE

Hi I am on bed rest cuz I uhoh oppsie got hurt at new job. So gimmie funny little guys for my freaks to judge. You know my usual rules. 1-2 characters trolls, humans, aliens whateves. Judge backs not required but welcomed always!

[the-meat-machine]

u just seem like the person to ask about hs cherub lore- has it ever been confirmed where the cherubs come from ectobiologically speaking?? like, from my tenuous understanding of it all, calliope and caliborn are living on the destroyed alpha earth that jane and co are living on- but if the cherubs are sbrub players, then they would have needed to do the self-fulfilling extobiology phase of the game, except for the fact that caliborn broke the game before they even had the chance. Are we meant to understand the cherubs were a naturally occuring species in the alpha universe unrelated to intelligent life destined to play the game, and that's why gamzee intervening to get them into a game resulted in a null session as well as the proceeding fuckery?

Yeah, Calliope and Caliborn are some of the few characters in the comic who weren't created through ectobiology. Instead, they were conceived and hatched the natural way for their species.

This is all explained by Aranea in perhaps unnecessary but IMO fascinating detail when she gives her whole cherub sex spiel. The mating battle that we witness during that section of the comic is in fact the moment when Calliope and Caliborn were conceived. Ah, the miracle of life.

And actually, the cherubs didn't hatch in the alpha universe—they hatched in the universe that the kids create!* They were born on Earth C, far far into its future after civilizations have risen and fallen and the sun it orbits has become a red giant. We know this thanks to this conversation between Hussie and Caliborn:

Earth has been through a lot. It was even relocated a couple times. YES. I BROUGHT IT WITH ME, I THINK. INTO THE GAME. Yes. But it was relocated once even before that. It was moved from its native solar system, where it circled around a little yellow sun. Then it founds its way to a new system, around your big red sun. It stayed there for a good while, until your sun started dying.

When Hussie says that Earth was relocated, he's referring to Jade (or Vriska? I guess it was Vriska post-retcon) bringing Earth from the alpha universe into the universe the kids create. Thus, the cherubs are from Earth C.

So yeah, cherubs are a naturally occurring species in the universe the kids create. In fact, I always imagined that cherubs exist in many/all(?) universes in Paradox Space, with their role being something akin to a universal immune system. This would put them in a special role that sets them apart from the ordinary species that evolve within each universe. That's how I interpret Aranea's spiel about cherubs, anyway.

Anyway! I'd also like to challenge the notion that all Sburb players have to be created with ectobiology.

Now, there are certain groups of people who are destined to have to play Sburb because they were ectobiologically created within the game. If they don't play, they don't fulfill the conditions for their own existence, causing a time paradox and dooming the timeline. The beta kids and trolls fall into this category.

But that doesn't mean that the reverse is true! You don't necessarily have to be created by ectobiology in order to play Sburb. In fact, we see in the early acts of the comic that quite a lot of humans on Earth start their own Sburb sessions and write up FAQs for the game and become Gents of Piss and so on. But there's no evidence that all of these people crashed to Earth on meteors as babies. Instead, they were able to piggyback off the version of Sburb that was created from the frog ruins seeded by the beta kids' session.

This is kind of similar to what I think happened for the cherubs. They have Gamzee's computer which presumably still has Sgrub installed, so that's most likely the version of the game Caliborn played. The cherubs don't have their own frog temple or their own version of the game; they had to piggyback off of someone else's.

Presumably, this sort of shortcut is the only way that Caliborn could ever have played the game. There's a lot in the comic about how cherubs as a species were never "meant" to play Sburb, and certainly it seems improbable that a dead session like Caliborn's could possibly be fruitful enough to seed its own player and frog temple through ectobiology. This means Caliborn was only able to play by taking advantage of a loophole, which I have to say is very fitting for him. That's my boy all right. That's my boy.

* Interestingly, this means that no matter how much Caliborn/Lord English opposes the kids, he actually needs them to win the game—if they don't, his own home universe will never be created and he can never be born!

[half-developed-frontal-lobe]

The way my emotions and frustrations were so recognized in this video.

I feel just as angry and tired as the rest of the lore community where, though I understand that another generation of Overwatch is coming up and characters like D.Va, Brigitte, Illari, Juno, Venture, Lifeweaver, etc. are going to be filling spots of old characters.

But there's no story or plot where these characters could be implemented except for an introduction animatic, and where the animations that should be coming out for this story are having their budget wasted on marketing and advertisements.

With the Christmas comic that just came out a month ago, I'm not even sure if Null Sector was taken down, and if they were-

It did not come across as such by the players.

I still feel like I'm stuck in the Liberation mission, wanting to move on to more storyline.

Right now, there is still a Null Sector invasion. Right now, Omnics are still getting subjugated. Or at least that is what it feels like. There's no connection. No story arc, and no proper ending.

No white flag was flown to show a means to an end of the war.

So, to show that there are happy Christmas festive events happening while the world is getting ransacked, there is a MAJOR disconnect and a bridge that isn't complete enough to cross.

[snow-on-mtsilver]

reposting from other acc :3

anyways HAIIII we have like a bunch of collective names (list below!!)

we go by any pronouns collectively for the most part (there are exceptions but!!)

we're currently 16!!!

we're a non-disordered mixed origins system!! (suspected system of 26(may lower since we haven't seen candle in a long while), we nicknamed ourselves the lunar system!!) also we might possibly be alterhuman!!

BIG NOTE. i am openly very pro endo, but i do not support harassment or rudeness on either side, i also do not fully feel comfortable whenever i see "____ fuck off" tags no matter what side it's from (especially since i have moots from both sides of the argument), i am okay with antis interacting if it's not for harassment or arguments

ANOTHER NOTE. I am a lightshipper, which is the opposite of a darkshipper, i ship non-problematic legal ships such as mortal x immortal. Do not group me up with darkshippers just because both lightships and darkships can fall under the comship(complex ship) label.

(suspected) alters, in order of when we noticed them:

- blake (🧊🌙)

- kaz (❄️🍃)

- 303 (🔥🌙)

- lost silver (🥇👁️‍🗨️)

- xander (⭐🐉)

- hoarfrost (❄️💀)

- silver (🥈🐊)

- glitchy (💥🔴)

- guardian (⬜🎩)

- kai (🐱😇)

- candle(although she hasn't spoken in a while) (🕯️🔮)

- null (⬛👁️)

- ethan (⚫🦌)

- steven (🔥🐉)

- stubborn (🗡️🐦‍⬛)

- julius (⚙️💀)

- aster (🌸🐱)

- austin (🥩☠️)

- sonic.exe (💀🦔)

- norway (❄️🇳🇴)

- usa (🦅🇺🇸)

- blue (💦🐢)

- red (🔇🐉)

- bloodbear (unfortunately)

- ??? (No name, no pronouns, and probably no faceclaim because this guy feeds on being confused/altref)

- min-su

FANDOMS/FAVORITE GAMES/HYPERFIXATIONS, DNI, AND PLEASE INTERACT UNDER THE CUT

our biggest fandoms n hyperfixations rn are: - squid game (biggest hyperfixation rn)

- pokemon(and pokepasta)

- minecraft creepypasta

- creepypasta in general

- minecraft in general

- Fnaf

- godzilla

- args

- slendytubbies

- transfur(ESPECIALLY changed)

- eddsworld

- countryhumans!!

- hermitcraft (or any minecraft smp really(except the problematic ones))

- steve saga

games we play or have played and really enjoyed:

- minecraft

- pokemon

- roblox

- gmod

- slendytubbies

- among us

- undertale

- fnaf

- tf2

DNI if:

- basic criteria

- you post mainly NSFW or suggestive stuff (especially since we are a minor, esp don't follow if you have "minors dni" somewhere on your page </3 (somewhat targetted but in their defense we never posted anything abt our age before))

- ship minecraft creepypastas (like entity 303 and herobrine)

- you are anti endo or sysmed (EXCEPTION: if we were already friends/moots from before we found out you were anti endo or from before we knew what an endogenic system was OR if you're really chill and are nice about it (as long as you're not being hateful about it we're chill :3))

- radqueer, proship, or darkship (realizing now that censoring is stupid so uhm)

PLEAAAASE interact if:

- you like any of the fandoms we like

- you're a silly critter :3

- you selfship or like oc x canon!!

- you play any of the games we play

- pro endo (or endo neutral, we chill with both :3)

discord is r3iyo !!! ( please we need friends :[ /nf )

OTHER BLOGS BY US:

@r3iyo (original account, not using anymore, basically abandoned bc we're scared of a moot finding out we're pro endo)

@lunarmonau (gonna use for a comic/pokemon au)

@lunar-bah (build a headmate blog)

@breaking-of-the-dark-moon (minecraft documentation)

Rotomblr blogs:

@mtsilver-enjoyer - (Canon Character: Red)

@cyndaquil-supremacy (Canon Character: Gold)

@xxdark-lycanroc-slayerxx (Canon Character: SIlver) (idk if i'll consistently use this)

@the-faraway-trainer (Canon Character: Rei)

[null-exception-comic]

How about a teal bioengineer that’s been falling out of grace with the Empire as of late? (Sorry I don’t have a full body lol and she is an adult)

🌑 Aressa Judgements 🌑

Come see what this rebellious girlie thinks of ya. Bonus points if you're a lady ;)

[stiltsthegm]

GOTY 2024 #7 - The Room Quadrilogy

This year was the first time I played any of the Room games at all. The Room 2 happened to be on Apple Arcade, and I needed something that wasn't yet another gacha to play on my phone to pass the time at work. I finished it in a couple days, and then almost immediately bought and binged the other 3 games in the span of a week and a half.

For some reason, I had always assumed The Room was too basic to bother with. It's a mobile game, right? Just spot a thing, tap on it, and move to the next screen.

I owe you an apology, The Room, because it turns out I was not familiar with your game.

I've been a fan of Myst (and games like it) for over 20 years now. While none of the Room games are on the same level of complexity and environmental design as any of the Mysts, it's pulling inspiration from there way more than I expected it to. Yes, you will certainly spend plenty of time trying to spot a lever or screw you haven't fiddled with to unlock the next puzzle, but there are quite a few actual brain-teasers in these games. Heck, Room 3 and Room 4 even have you moving between different areas to solve interlocking puzzles. For the most part, these games are just complex enough to give my brain something to focus on and solve without being too frustrating (with the exception of a couple somewhat obtuse puzzles in Room 4).

Also, the presentation of these games is immaculate. There are so many beautifully-animated scenes of boxes or models unfolding into new and impossible shapes, your most-regular reward for solving a puzzle or finally noticing that switch you needed to flip. There are few times where a structure transforms so much that it crosses a line into comical absurdity, but that's honestly a charm point for the game, too. There's even lore reasons for it. We're dealing with The Null, folks, a secret elemental force that disrupts space and time and sometimes causes eerie tentacles to cover the walls. Just roll with it!

I had a lovely time with these games, and they exceeded my perhaps-unfair expectations in every way.

[shadowtherat16]

Null!Sans explained

(I'll make a comic at some point, but my neurodivergent ass brain can't focus at all so it probably won't be soon lol)

NO HE'S NOT A SHIP CHILD ISTG PLEASE DON'T CALL HIM THAT

The way the world started is that someone or something started to load the game, but it crashed and won’t be opened again. The only things that loaded were the terrains (Ruins, Snowdin, ect.) and the first save point as well as Sans.

Except that the game crashed while loading him specifically.

He had no power. No personality. No SOUL.

He wandered pointlessly until he came across the save point. It was a weird thing. It was warm and comforting while also feeling cold and metallic, but it was better than nothing. He put the save point where his SOUL should have been. While the thing didn’t replace it, it kept him alive, filling him with determination to escape the corrupted world, and that was enough.

There was one small, tiny piece of terrain that didn’t load. A glitch. A mistake in the code. It was a door to the antivoid, a chance to escape… and he took it.

And once he was in the antivoid… there was more pointless walking. Sometimes, he would come across things left after battles in the white wasteland.

The first thing he found was a splatter of ink and paint. Surprisingly, when he touched it, he could absorb it. He gained some personality as the save point replacing his SOUL started changing.

He walked around more and more, finding things like weird black goop (he dropped his sandwich in it), pieces of arrows (?), and many other things. He felt the curious need to poke at each and every one.

Like icing on a cake, they changed him. A base was already there, but the parts put colour on it.

anyways.

Null has a pretty childish personality. He would much rather play with a rock or something other than fight, and he usually only fights playfully.

In terms of his powers, he has a bit from a lot of people. (you can find his character sheet here: Null!Sans sheet)

[nights-flying-fox]

☆ DIMENSION HOPPER LEO AU MASTERPOST ☆

💙 What is this au? It is an alternative universe/timeline where Leo manages to teleport out of Prison Dimension using his portals. Except he ends up in the wrong timeline somehow and has to find a way to get back to his own timeline. Meanwhile, his family is searching for a way to find him.

The story mainly includes the different timelines/worlds/dimensions Leo travels, with some more plot related stuff :] it is always open for collabs too, since every au can be considered canon here hehe

☀️ To not be confused with other Leos, he has many nicknames through the story. But the name I use to call him is Hop!Leo, or shortly Hop. ♡

💠 Click here for the fanfiction!! Currently on ARC 1 (Recovery).

🌠 Click here for the tag OR use #dimension-hopper-leo-au

🌌 Click here for the playlist ♡

🌟 Click here to join the Portal Fam Server!!

⭐️ Hop reference sheet

✨️

° The first doodles

° There are two of them now

° LGAST crossover comic: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 + 11 | 12 | 13 |

° TMNT AU Summit Propaganda 1

° Screenshot Redraw: Happy!!

° Meme redraw

° Rounds

° Leo drawing. Idk it's just him. The silly.

° ITS DECEMBER 10TH!!

° Merry Christmas!!

° "you aren't hopping. you are lying."

° change [lgast crossover mini comic]

° Hop pmv wip

° Mini One-shot about Hop's memories and notebook

°

🌙

☆ Check out the art Nox did of Hop & Null here!!

☆ Hop & Null interacting after Null's "recovery"

☆ Colored panels from the previous comic

☆ More of Hop and Null!!

☆ Hop drawn by honey-rye : D

☆ Null got dragged into the TMNT Siblings AU Comp by Hop!!

☆ Hop and Twin-Sync Leo [collab]

☆ Hop introduces Null to Twin-Sync Twins

☆ Twin-Sync Twins are cheering for Hop!!

☆ Portal Trio Pokedance!!

☆ Portal Trio styling their masks

☆

💫

° Hop in Comp!! Sagas (WIP):

Hop in Comp Tag!!

- flowers || - he got in... || - he got lost || - a Donnie approaches 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 || - *points* It is him, Gary! 1 ~ 2 || - Hop is a lil brat || - Where are we?? 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 || - AAAAA || - Water. It is water. || - mushrooms are evil, kids || [tba] || - Hop Comp ID Card

- Twin-Sync twins cheering for Hop!!

《 poll 1 》

🎻 Bard Hop Saga (tmntaucompetition 2025)

- You're all invited to their concert!!

- Thank you for the votes 🫶🏼 + Bard!Hop ref!!

- Hop makes his entrance ✨️

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[fleouriarts]

posting ocs on this account for the first time in forever... and making NEW ocs for the first time in forever too. please welcome my new funny animals

heights on the pic are measured from top of the skull (so not including hair or ears)

more info about everyone below the cut

JAMIE NAM: banded linsang. 19. he/him tboy. animation student. he is a nervous wreck and kind of a cringe failboy but by god he's trying his best

SANTIAGO FLORES: sheep. 20. he/him cis dude. fine arts student. absolute sweetheart with a huge family who's been dating jamie for only a few months before the inciting incident of the story (detailed below)

JOHNNY DEAN CLANTON: red appaloosa horse. 21. she/her cis butch. worked on her family's chicken/various other birds farm for a year after high school, then decided to just be a "free spirit" living out of her van and doing odd manual labor jobs for people. she's also an absolute player (with a thing for small carnivores in particular)

NULL: blue point siamese cat. 20. they/them agender. chemistry student and pawblix (furry version of publix) cashier. they are actually friends with people, but they're also great at lying and generally pretending to get along with people they hate. needs a smoke break

ARGYLE LANCASTER: lion. 21. he/him cis dude. engineering student who burnt out and decided to go into fashion design instead. chill and agreeable to a fault, he will go with whoever else's flow even if it ends up hurting him (or someone else)

the general gist of this story is that everyone here except for santiago knew each other in high school. jamie is childhood friends with johnny, johnny is friends with null, and null is friends with argyle. jamie gets introduced to null through johnny, then gets introduced to argyle through null. jamie is immediately smitten and has a crush on argyle for months

at the end of jamie's junior year/argyle's senior year, jamie finally asks argyle out. argyle says yes, but he's really not that into jamie, he just wants to see what will happen (... and also feels bad for him). over the course of the summer it becomes clear to argyle that this relationship cannot last but he keeps putting off on breaking up with jamie. finally, the day before argyle moves across the country to go to college, he admits to jamie that he was kinda dating him out of pity and breaks up with him. jamie, understandably, loses his fucking mind, blocks argyle on everything after he leaves, and proceeds to have the worst senior year of all time

flash forward a few years. jamie is now a sophomore in college in an animation program. he's got a new beautiful sheep boyfriend named santiago. null, who was only really an acquaintance before, goes to the same college as them and they become better friends. johnny isn't always in town but they still hang out on the regular. jamie is still mad at argyle, because why wouldn't he be, but there's enough good in his life that he doesn't have to focus on his one bad high school relationship

... until argyle, dropping out of his ruthless engineering program, decides to transfer back home. to jamie and co's college. now BOTH of them have to deal with feelings that have built over the past three years as seeing each other becomes almost unavoidable. jamie has to grapple with the fact that he can't be mad at argyle forever, and argyle is forced to actually deal with the fact that he hurt someone like that instead of just hoping they've gotten over it

... ok wow i did not expect to type that much. i scripted a comic of jamie seeing argyle for the first time in three years in a frenzy a few weeks ago, and i've been telling myself that i HAVE to do a longer comic (and by longer i mean like. more than 3 pages) with my ocs this year, so hopefully i'll start working on that soon. i'm also gonna make a separate Lore Post about my furryverse because there's some silly stuff i've come up with for it. anyway ENJOY

[null-exception-comic]

I'm unsure if I've asked this before or not, but Deslen and Wixari, how did you two become moirails? :0

I think it’s best if I answer for the both of them. Deslen would not be able to answer and Wixari doesn’t know exactly what happened either prior to the events I am about to show you.

So to put it simply:

Let’s just say she found him…

A stranger that needed help—

—A simple act really.

— S

[kariachi]

Random: Anyway yeah the fact that Kevin can absorb, produce, and to some degree manipulate solids and apparently plasmids (electricity, presumably generic energy falls into the same category, etc), that his absorbing mud in the comic indicates liquids aren't off the table (seeing as mud is a good bit liquid and that to not take in the liquid as well would leave him working with dirt), that shit is wild. The fact it likely means he can do gases as well, since he can be reasonably assumed to be able to do all the other states of matter, absolutely mindblowing, terrifying shit.

The fact that this comes alongside being able to absorb, store, and utilize the DNA of other species. That he apparently has a fucking DNA repair function built in to facilitate doing this.

Because here's the thing, being able to do states of matter? That's it's own thing. Makes sense, once you've got two, may as well have the set. It works together, nothing more or less than you'd expect. But the DNA thing, the powers thing. That's a whole other category to be working with. Man has parts from critters there's no reason to believe are in the Omnitrix (Null Guardians) so we know that chunk of his powers isn't limited to fucking with the watch. Fucking with the watch may have thrown him into the deep end of it, but it's a perfectly logical assumption that that's just him.

Solids, plasmids, liquids, presumably gases, definitely DNA to gain access to associated shapes and powers.

Kevin can be reasonably assumed capable of absorbing, becoming, producing, possibly manipulating, and passing on to his children anything he can get skin contact with. There's what, one exception that we're shown? With no explanation, it honestly raises more questions than anything else! All with a built-in ability to eventually reset himself with at least the DNA and combinations thereof stored away and able to not only be utilized later as shown with his repeated transformations in Framed but also be passed on.

And all that's before you see him utilize an armor to regrow fucking limbs!

This boy is something. Mutant, alien, eldritch being, flip a coin, boy is something.

[tgrailwar-zero]

can you tell us a bit about the 'Cuauhtli vs. Strong Mask' match? We weren't able to watch it. I know we could probably see a recap on the news later, but I think it would be more interesting to hear a first hand account from a Bout Fan.

Ooh, what about you, Citt? Maybe you got to watch the Man-Slayer vs. Tri-Star match. I mean, if you weren't busy before your own match doing promo events? We didn't get to watch that one either, but we heard briefly about the outcome from Null Zero. (note - not asking about Jishnu vs Adamant is deliberate, I don't want to cause PR Nightmare for Jaguar)

ARCHER: "Well, it was an interesting fight. 'Strong Mask' had serious physical strength- in terms of physicality alone, I'd wager that he's one of the mightiest. 'Cuauhtli' was faster, and had more magical potential, which seemed to balance things out. It was rather intense. It ended rather abruptly, with Cuauhtli firing off a sudden burst of magical energy and destroying nearly half the battlegrounds."

CITT: "The Manslayer performed as expected, as he's one of Lady Cleopatra's guards. His sword-work was exceptional, his speed was phenomenal, and he would vanish into the shadows and re-appear with astonishing brutality. Well... such brutality was lessened due to Tri-Star's plush-toy appearance. It made it rather comical, really."

[vangold]

-----

 *MWEH.....OKAY LET ME TRY THIS AGAIN.

*SO, THE VERY BEGINNING......I USED TO BE A NORMAL SWAP....SO SORTA LIKE YOU, JUST - YOU KNOW - A SANS, MWEHEHEH

*ONE DAY - WAS IT TUESDAY? YEAH YEAH PRETTY SURE IT WAS TUESDAY....

SYRUUUHS~

 *SORRY~

 *SO....THAT TUESDAY...

*THAT RATHER MAGNIFICENTLY NORMAL DAY.... 

 *THAT WAS THE DAY WHEN THAT..... OTHER ME APPEARED - THE FIRST TIME I EVER SAW ANOTHER SANS - AND-

*WELL HE.....HE.....

*KILLED EVERYONE.....EXCEPT FOR PAPY AND ME......

*ANd after he could not manage to make me kill my brother

*he abducted me to his hideout.

 *Most of those knowing a bit more about the Multiverse tend to call it "The Antivoid". However. I agree with my friend, O - and so does Chacha - about the opinion that the term "Antivoid" ist still too much "something", to describe that place.....we eventually came to the agreement with each other that we from that point on where we agreed to that, we will only call it

*null.... 

-----

So here now comes chapter 1 of The Grand Escape. Picking up around where The Error Askblog ended for the Blueberry back than....just probably a couple of god knows how many years later or milenias or something. Syrus tried to count at first but gave up pretty fast, since there's no way to tell the time in the Antivoid. Even if he had a clock it probably would go all out nether on this place. There's neither time nor anything else to pass time with either. He at some point just started talking to the soul. Maybe they started responding? Maybe he can even hear them? Who knows...

I wanted to make a point about the emptiness of the anivoid and literally removed the background all together. White? pfff, still too colorful. Have a lovely NOTHING instead. :P

Shadowing I aswell reduced to a minimum. Nothing there of lighting or shadowing anyway. It's pretty much just plain copic markers.

----

Main Cover

Prologue

Chapter 2

Based on @askerrorsans

Talk emojis belong to Kaweii

--- Other Comics related to this one: ---

An Ideal Brother

Jazztale

Much Ado About Nothing

The Trial

--- Wanna support your humble artist? ---

| Deviant Art | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Instagram | Bluesky | YouTube | Cara | IO |

[whatyourusherthinks]

Venom: The Last Dance Review

Venom hehehe.... Ahem. Venom: The hahahaha... Sorry, sorry. Ahem hem! Venom: The Last Dance BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ROAN! *Clap Clap* Get it together! My bad. I've seen the first Venom and it was bad. I didn't watch Venom: Let There Be Carnage for the same reason I didn't watch Deadpool 2. Because it seemed like the studio was queerbating. Regardless, I was curious about this one because the marketing was kinda insane. In the teaser trailer, every shot looked like it was from a different movie. The actually trailer made it seem it's a King in Black adaptation. And that comic is fucking stupid. PERFECT FOR SONY!

What's The Movie About?

After getting drunk in the end credit scene of Spiderman: No Way Home, Eddie and Venom need to get to New York for some reason and the fed are chasing them down because the god Null is sending bug wood chippers to find a MacGuffin.

What I Didn't Like.

Hold the phone... I have a reason for this Buggnutz, just wait. Venom 3, much like every live action Sony Spiderman movies since 2004, is terrible. At least in the objective construction sense. The individual plots are fiiiiine but they way they are structured together and paced once again leads credence to my theory that all the editors Sony hires are drug addicts. The individual scene writing sucks. Every intentional joke fails, but I was still laughing plenty at unintentional comedy. The stakes of the plot are incredibly random. Basically Eddie and Venom are trying to get to New York City because the San Francisco police thinks they killed the detective from the last movie (The one Carnage killed), but they don't get chased by the police. They get chased by soldiers from Area 55 because the detective is actually alive! He was bonded to a cyan symbiote (Who I can't lie, looked pretty cool actually) and told the government about Null. Null is looking for Venom and Eddie because Eddie died in the first movie and Venom saved him by bonding together and I bet you just noticed the plot hole. Yeah, why is Venom and Eddie the only one with the MacGuffin if the detective died and Cyan bonded with him to save him? Also, considering there's like 10 new symbiotes that all look awesome, these new monsters, a hippy family, and Area 51 getting destroyed all happening in the movie, the events of the movie are shockingly low key. It feels like nothing major happens in the movie. EVEN THOUGH THE MAIN CHARACTER DIES. Spoiler. They're literally marketing the movie based on that fact fuck off Buggnutz. Mercifully, Null is barely in the movie, but honestly I'm wondering why he wasn't just cut out entirely. With the exception of sending the bug wood-chippers, all he does is stare at the floor. And this movie has the worst end credit scenes ever. One is Null, boo, promising revenge except the line is something about how his champion is dead so it doesn't even make any sense. And the second is a comedy scene? Except I don't know what the joke is supposed to be?

What I Like.

But here's the thing. I actually like this movie. What?! Yeah. I actually like this movie more than Deadpool and Wolverine. WHAT?! HOW? Well, to be honest, they are kinda similar with the intent of the creator. As in, both these movies were clearly made with fans in mind. But Venom 3 feels like it was made by a fan of the Venom movies, and D&W feels like it was made by someone who reads a lot of fan forums. The Last Dance is goofy, it indulges in weird ideas, not everything lands but it has charm in a puppy-stuck-outside-during-a-rainstorm kind of way. D&W feels like it's expecting massive overpraise for doing the bare minimum. I'm not gonna suck you off because you threw away your garbage in the trash can instead of the floor! Uh... What does this have to do with Venom: The Last Dance? Nothing, sorry. I like the bug wood chippers. They have actual names but I forgot what they are. The way they attack is cool even if it makes no sense that they can jump around all over buildings and no one can notice. The effects are probably bad, but I liked the monster designs of both the bug wood-chippers and the symbiotes that appear in the movie. They are fun colors and have different body shapes and stuff, it's fun! Unlike a lot of Sony-man movies, the don't miss any opportunities. When the feds start melting the military hardware that was left behind in Area 51, or reveal that they have those several symbiotes hidden away in Area 55, you can see where they were going with it but there was a small niggle in the back of my head that the movie was going to not do the obvious thing. Because these movies are made by incompetent chunderheads. But these heads have less chunder than usual, since I did get exactly the climax I was expecting, even if the cinematography and editing sometimes made it incomprehensible. I like the music. It's ridiculous choices but again I had fun with them. Of course I want to see Venom and Mrs. Chen dance to an ABBA remix. And I had a fun time yelling all the Venom animals over the credits.

Final Summation.

Thank Sobol that Venom: The Last Dance doesn't kill off Eddie Brock, because I do not want to put movie as my best of the year. You were actually gonna do that? Yeah well, I made a promise. Here's my 50 cent reduction of this entire review: This movie is great when you have no expectations. If you go in expecting a well made film, you will hate it. If you go in knowing it will be terrible, you will have a good time. This makes it perfect fodder to be a Recojected Movie! (Yeah, bet you thought I forgot about that, huh?)