#now. off to prepare for tomorrow
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hello hello, are there any tumblr blogs u wanna talk & interact with more?
answering this slightly late - sorry about that, anon!
this is an interesting question because i genuinely am. Terrible at interaction lmao. trying to get Better but i am. forgetful
but people such as @mutantmanifesto @disastrouscanasta and @kafka-ohdear are all people i see around A Lot that are very very lovely that i don't speak to all that much, but are all very talented and kind <3
#rie answers#linh and ewi get shoutouts of course but Do Not Count because not gonna lie. i talk to them more than i talk to like. my family#now. off to prepare for tomorrow#which is basically just chores and then begin to watch the terror again#or gen kill. or btvs.#working 24s is interesting because after i get 48 hours off so it's like. i forget how bad 24hr shifts are until i'm halfway through one#i'm in a rambling mood but love to all xx
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 1: Make It Sapphic AU
#once again we are ignoring the fact that it is not technically still day 1 where I live#look i am only like 30 minutes off so it's fine.#it's still day 1 in 3/4 of the US so we're fine#anyways here's sapphic Holloween because we all deserve a little bit of that in our lives#Inspired by the incredibly talented Snarky-wallflower#if you are reading this you simply must go check her out#she's an amazing author and a rad person so there are no downsides in lookin her up#but yeah that's crazy i finished two drawings in one day whoa#like i said i've got events back to back to back to back right now#so i've got another drawing to work on for tomorrow#but i'm not doing every day for this one#i've got art fight to prepare for as well#and work stuff to work on#fun fact: the most abundant mineral in the earth's mantle is Olivine#which is this beautiful green color#and even though it is so common#i do not have it in my collection smh#gotta get me some of that#did you know that i love rocks and minerals#i think i will start doing more rock facts because i've got plenty of those#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#holloweane#holloduke#miss holloway#duke keane#butch!duke keane#hatchetfield#nightmare time#nightmare time 2#kim whalen
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💘
#this might be the most scribble thing I post here yet bahahahahahahahahahahaaha#I still like how the hands turned out even though I didn’t finish them😇#but it’s pretty messy and the hands might be the only part I like🥲#but since this blog is my art journey documentation here you are#I was pretty busy today so no good art but maybe tomorrow we’ll see#I am preparing things to FINALLY answer my asks🥹#& if you tagged me in anything I actually have been meaning to respond!!!!!!!! my notifications are the WORST and so confusing on here😵💫#and I’m technology grandma…#hope u all have had an amazing day !!!! 🫶#my brother in law has been fishing and catching SO MANY sargo#(sargo = sea bream for the animal crossing playing English speakers😙)#AND ITS LITERALLY SOOOOOOOOO DELICIOUS !!!!!#i cook it in the weirdest way possible#you just have to gut the fish and cut off its fins etc#then you put it in a wet salt bed and cover it up…cook it for 30 min…AND VOILA ITS DONE !!!!!#I don’t add any spices…NOTHING…and this fish literally has the taste and texture of crab covered in butter#LIKE…😳 it might be my favorite food/fav thing to cook these days bc it’s so easy and fresh caught fish is just delicious😫#well that was my grandma cooking show of the day👩🍳#now you know how to cook sargo a la sal 👩🍳#also going back to the drawing🥹 I just love these two so much…#I love thinking of sweet moments…most of my angst is confined to writinc😆#the chapter I’m writing right now is SO ANGST DEPRESSING (sorry Eloise)#it will get better…I promise…#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc
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#so like#my mom is undergoing a regular procedure tomorrow#but my heart still hurts because of the preparation#AND#something happened last night that was awful#her blood pressure can’t go up right now and she’s literally not allowed to be upset that’s dangerous for her health especially right now#im so fucking anGRY#there’s nothing else I can do for her besides take care of her and be around#but jfc#my chest is annoying#anxiety is annoying#can’t wait to get green and calm my nerves#i was about to throw up all over the place this morning#this is so fucking frustrating#we will be okay btw#just venting into the void#i just need to keep her calm#and myself too because im not helping by going off the charts on who i waNT to all of them every single person fuck oFF#YOU PICKED THIS SINGLE TIME PERIOD YO BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE#FOR GENUINELY NO REASON#and now my momma has to bear the consequences?#absolute bullshit#a kick to the shin for ALL OF YOU#with spiked boots thank you for coming to my ted talk
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what the fuck is wrong with my pulls
#im getting prepared to have a meteor land directly on my house tomorrow to balance this out#literally yesterday i was like “guys do i spend my 300 tokens on logos potential or mumu” then the literal next 10 pull#well ok that answers my question#both wis and logos are at p4 now btw#how have i not gotten a random off rate non lim 6* is what im wondering#this is gods apology for 240 pulls for 1 arturia#gacha game screenshot
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Freed from the chains of academic misery just to immediately be thrown into the dungeon of a Full time position
#lord help me#i mean I've been working overtime a lot so it's better to have some more hours I'll actually get paid for#but goood i already feel drained#(starting next week/month (tomorrow's a holiday so at least i get a 3 day weekend before that))#((although i will probably have to do some work over the weekend because i need to prepare some stuff for the new hires#who i have to train#and also we have our print deadline next monday (so i mean. the monday after next week? idk)#and our medical advisor IS ON VACATION until November 14th#HELLO??? i don't wanna complain about her taking her well deserved time off but like. a little heads up would have been nice#now i have to find another suitable person to do the certification of that one article#and we have less than a week?#god i hate next week#i swear we Just did this#and heaven help me find some interesting urology news or the newsletter will crash and burn#sorry#got carried away#void screams#work stuff
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> You are encased in the cement that is those you love who love you.
> It protects you. Makes you beautiful. It will immortalize you.
> Your legs are restless.
> You're going to have to move, sooner or later.
> The sun will blind you, at first. The wind will feel like razors against your skin for a time.
> Do you think it'll be worth it?
> Who would choose to become human, over art?
> There will be times where your once graceful shoulders will hunch in pain. Your formerly serene face crumpled in ugly anger.
> You will be so scared to turn around and see the wreckage. Chunks of cement and dust are all that will be left of the statue you used to be.
> Aren't you scared?
#whoah personal#poetry#i guess but also oh god this sucks#idk. im just thinking about who i want to be#and how that'll mean taking a sledgehammer to the person i used to be#and I'm scared that whatever is left after that destruction won't be worth it#that I'll be so much smaller and more twisted than I was before#and I'm also scared that the people who lean on me as i am now will topple and break if i change#what if i look too different underneath. what if it hurts them. what if they leave#destroying a person who based thenself off of the love others gave them is gonna mean rejecting the love i took#all for what? to become something else? to change in ways I can't prepare for yet?#or what if the people who love me are hurt in the aftermath?#i love them too. it's just im always scared that love isn't enough on its own#i cant just be someone who loves them. i need to be someone they love too. someone they need#god who even am i#i dont know who i would choose to be if i ran away tomorrow#thats why i wrote this. i want to run away and start it all from scratch#but im scared to run away. i know itll hurt. would it be good or bad?#this poem is inaccurate because it paints their love as smothering. its not. i smother myself and i dont know why#but its warm and nice and safe#this is also sort of about being trans but thats like. not even half of what this crisis is about#its not enough to just be a daughter. you cant just be a daughter or an older sister or a friend your whole life.#that cant be all of who and what you are. you have to be you above all else and thats fucking terrifying#idk. anyways iput sparkly license plate covers on my work vans 2 months ago and if my bosses find out I'll get yelled at#so i'm going to go take those off now. bye
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Stressed and loathe to talk to people about it
#me#text#im moving TOMORROW and one of my parents is being a matyr about it because i need help from someone she has beef with#up to and including asking if she needs to be out of the house while hes here and pretending she just found out he has issues with her#while also saying he cant have issues with her because he didnt tell her??#im not prepared i have no food for the new place and no soap either or silverware but i can solve that#and at work im behind on my training. which isn't totally my fault but i wanna be done#also lowkey think my friend now coworker is subtly bragging about being caught up?#not sure if its me or not tho#im behind because i struggle to ask people to sign me off and people struggle to sign me off because they dont know everything#or theyre busply#plus i had at least a week where i wasnt training at all#but today i need one signature one sheet and one body fluid count and ill only be behind on one thing and not two#also also next week i go on shift hence the deadline#i can get caught up on diffs in between work but body fluids are another issue
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//vent
God please. Please just go easy on me. Too much. It’s all just too much. Please
#first my shower stopped working#then I tried again and it worked but then lost pressure and I had to wash quickly#then turns out our card is with my aunt#then my cat is acting way off and I’m like 70% sure it’s a low but my mom insisted it was a high bc he was refusing to eat anything#so we gave him a couple units of insulin#and now I just have to? wait? to see if he gets better or if we’ve fucking killed him????#im going to the beach tomorrow with friends and I’m already stressing about not being fully prepared for that yet#and then all of this#I don’t want my cat to die. at least not like this#vent#vent in tags
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love my leather boots sooo much.. polishing them at weekends is my favourite chore by far I always look forward to getting to do it :-)
#just re-lacing them rn so theyre ready for work tomorrow theyre so shinyyy muah#when my next payday comes around im gonna get a second pair so im not putting as much strain on the leather by wearing them everyday#but i think im gonna go for a different colour to my standard black.... ik solovair do similar ones in burgundy or bottle green hmm#well i have a month to think abt it before i decide!#red is my go to accent colour but green would probably fit better with my work wardrobe... and i do wear work clothes 5/7 days a week#anyway.... i need to meditate and then sleep. i usually settle down for bed 9:30 but im a little wired cuz new med change#so ive been putting it off until i feel actually tired so i wont stress abt not being able to fall asleep and then make it worse#i will probably feel pretty tired at work tomorrow but thats okay i dont have anything taxing scheduled#feeling so much better now this weekend is behind me. ik next weekend will likely be difficult again but im more prepared for it#i need to book myself this trip as well before train tix get too expensive so i have smth to look forward to next month....#just debating whether i actually want to invite other ppl or not. itd be rly nice for everyone to come but with recent events i feel-#a little delicate abt social stuff and i dont want to stress myself out and get insecure bc its meant to be a treat for me#like if i invite other ppl itll become their trip and suddenly im in the backseat third wheeling them all#and ill wish i had uninvited myself so they would enjoy it more etc but the POINT is its smth i wanna do!!!! for me!!!#we'll see how this week goes. i dont rly feel ready rn to unmute their server yet tho bc ill just make myself upset abt next weekend#letting sleeping dogs lie for now... ill come back around eventually it always takes some time to recover from mood swings that intense#okay now goodnight! xoxoxoxooxo#.diaries
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revelation: it's actually much easier to study if you haven't worked for 6 hours prior to that
#and what's more important: its much easier to FORCE myself to study#studying itself isnt hard#forcing myself to do it is#and when my brain havent melted from being at the office and doing tasks its surprisingly easy to persuade to study#ive already done the translation and am gonna now prepare for a tomorrow speech in class#and sent off a test task for a job yesterday#still a lot to do but much less than i had just yesterday morning#arnold's diary
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Also, I gotta say, because I did draft the results post in advance obviously, I DO fully understand how Sam's ad bits end up so absurd, like, the moment you commit to a bit you really just have to keep escalating, jesus christ.
#tbh has the same vibe as getting into character for dnd. like by the end of it I'm like#'who am I what kind of person am I why can't I shoot fire out of my hands what's happening'#like walking out of a theater but like you were also IN THE MOVIE#it's like the fucking. stun effect when haste wears off. WILD#anyway now that that's done lol I do actually have to write some notes and get prepped for feywild intrigue game tomorrow :3#which is gonna be fucking wild. I have a Lot of fear.#HE WAS WATCHING CALAMITY THIS WEEK 'IN PREPARATION FOR THIS SESSION' I AM DEEPLY AFRAID#HOWEVER Amana did go to the Coramar-Seelie school of wizardry and SOMEHOW MIGHT HAVE THE MOST HP OF HER PARTY? WHAT.#so she might be fine. she is also fully immortal. power of the fungus babeyyyy
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oh christ i just realized im actually going on a 9 day roadtrip and ending up on the opposite side of the country. starting tomorrow (21st). hello ...
#ive been preparing for it for days but its kindof hitting now once the clock changed to 12 am. its not an imaginary future its Tomorrow#also i have no idea how online im gonna be since im driving for hours and hours every day + actually im going w someone to pennsylvania 1st#and we're hiking/camping a lot#SO........................#if i disappear off the face of the earth u know why But i mean. we will see. phone addiction strong#omg the queue function . should i.
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#I have spent. 8 almost 9 hours resetting my laptop. I chose the option to keep all my files but uninstall apps. and it has been restarting#and installing for almost 9 hours. yeah I get that the process will be long. but ffs#I have been bored the past few hours so I watched the smile movie bc I got reminded of it yesterday#it was pretty bad. the couple gorey scenes towards the end were nice but some of the acting and writing was just terrible#I was also hoping the movie would’ve taken a different turn. I think it would’ve made it more.. idk. I can’t think of the right term.-#-it just would’ve made it better I think.#I’ve also eaten a lot today. more than I usually do. more than I have in months and years and im upset about that. im already bloated.#I hope I don’t work tomorrow. I have to call in in the morning to check. and I don’t mind working but rn I just kind of want to spend the#day relaxing#I’ve spent almost 9 hours on this resetting part. and 4 extra hours trying to simply repair it in restarts#I also need to clean up my room. a lot of it. and clean my pets cage. it’s ant season now and im really stressed about that#the smell of sharpie returns and I am just. overwhelmed. I have 3 days to prepare for my special week long activity and im not happy about-#-that.#I also had some feelings earlier that im stressed over too.#im being vague about that bc i just don’t want to go off about that to everyone#im tired and overwhelmed i just want my laptop to finish resetting so i can stop fretting about this. i want to sleep#im tired. of so much#to delete later
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Love having to help hold everyone else’s lives together but the second I’m struggling and need help then I’m too needy and being a problem
#god just once I want what I put into a person given back in return#I schedule and plan everything I make meals for everyone and drive people around#my whole life it’d always be my job to clean my brothers room and even now I’m the one that keeps others shit clean instead of themselves#and I really wouldn’t mind if any of it was returned#or at the very least don’t make me feel like shit#or like I give people rides but don’t get gas money and I make meals but no help paying for the groceries to make the food#and I can’t afford to sustain myself much less someone else#and I’m so tired#I work all the fuckin time#just once I want to get off and relax and not have to go and take care of a whole ass adult who’ll throw a fit if I dare say I’m hungry#or get mad at me when I run out of energy when I’m going non stop#ghost rambles#hh I’ll have some time to myself tomorrow morning before my blood tests at least#before I have to go home after and prepare for a taco night with friends#gonna go wander target I still have a gift card and maybe get a new piercing#I am excited for tacos and games with my friends I’m just so tired and tomorrow morning is my only break for the next week#I have so many appointments coming up and I picked up extra shifts
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I don't like thinking about work unless I'm at work but I have to talk through smth ignore me or whatever
#i want to quit soon but i dont know when the best time is#im working the next 2 mon/tues and then im off until the 14th#and the schedule for august isn't out yet so the last day im scheduled for now is the 25th#usually the schedule comes last minute#im considering..... telling my boss that my last day will be the 25th tomorrow#but if im going to do it i have to do it tomorrow#mayyyyybe Tuesday ig but i would wanna do it next week#but i cant see who im working with before i go in anymore. which is so terrible for so many reasons#i need to prepare before i go in and part of that is knowing who im gonna see but whatever#not only that but i wont know if my boss will be there for me to be able to quit until im there tomorrow#im also super anxious about quitting anyway i don't wanna have that conversation#and then i have to start looking for a new job#and im trying to move in the spring i need money#i did think... i could possibly bring the letter of resignation tomorrow.. hope he wont be there & leave it on his desk#and text him that it's there. but then theres not much of a conversation to be had#idek exactly how youre 'supposed to quit' but to me those rules are for employers you respect 💀#i dont respect these people ✌️#the only thing i feel bad about is that there'll only be one baker left in the company (6 almost 7 stores)#but its also not my fault that they haven't hired anyone and cant keep employees#i would've LOVED some help over the last few months as ive been the only baker in this district of 3 stores!!! they never hired anyone!!!!#i just have really not appreciated the way they've been treating me recently with all of the anxiety stuff#i also dont appreciated how my rights of privacy were violated 😀#and its literally coming to the point where im going to have to have uncomfortable conversations that i dont want to have#and/or literally take or at least threaten some legal action#or just quit!! and its not like im gonna be here much longer anyway even if i dont leave right now#i almost feel like... do i have a responsibility to hold them accountable for what they've done so it hopefully doesn't happen again#but idk i mean i didn't make them do this#tbh the more i think about it the more i want to quit tomorrow. im just nervous. and scared of not having a paycheck#idk its just scary!!! life is scary!!!!!
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