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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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CONCEPT FOR SOMETHING ILL TAKE 20 YEARS TO WRITE BUT IM PUTTING IT OUT INTO THE INTERNET IN HOPES IT GIVES ME MOTIVIATION: volley bunny
#like you know those groupies w hockey and stuff like that?? ok well hear me out#ur friend or u hear about a group who chases after athletes...#u decide to join in to see how it all works out and ofc its ur first time doing anything like this.. lowkey feels a little stalkerish#maybe u've been eyeing this particular athlete for ages... and now ur standing in front of the locker room looking nervous as hell and#persnaps im thinking of this w either bo or ushi or even hinata#theyre oblivious (except for ushi methinks... he knows what ur doing and hes more than happy to indulge a pretty little thing like u)#and this starts them tugging you into their teams locker room and fuckingg theeeeeee shit out of u... showing u athletes are nothing to be#messed with....#girl help#SOMEONE SEDATE MEEEEEE#MAYBE THIS IS ALREADY A DRAFT... HEAD IN HANDS#remi.rambles#hq.txt
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genuine question would anyone wanna play minecraft together... perhaps even voice call during it...? i Think it works on the cracked version i got,,, it sounds so fun to have a world together and do stuff Together don't u think?
#( 💭 faun thinks )#pretty sure my discord group does this but ackkkk theyre gonna ask why ive been gone i need to gather up more energy before being like hi#yeah im not dead sorry for disappearing w/ absolutely no warning as i do once or twice a year i'm sure ur all used to this by now
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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i had a great time at the hicksville grand reopening! extra thank you to everyone who said hi to me today, everyone there was so nice 💖 can't wait to visit this stage many, many, many more times in the future!
(also expect footage up on youtube soon 👀)
#juno.txt#cec#chuck e cheese#the district(?) manager (chuck is hugging her in the 2nd pic) gave a speech before the balloon drop#and commended the fans for fighting so hard to keep hicksville around and i was like YEAAAAAAAAAA HICKSVILLE YEAAAAHHHHHHH#i love this stage so fucking MUCH dude i cant describe how happy i am that it gets to stick around#they played every boy every girl and im barely familiar w that song so idk if they changed the lyrics for the event but#there was a bit in it about like. staying and continuing to make music and it had me almost crying in front of everyone ghdjg#it has me almost crying now lol im just so happy#also also also. matt sam tyler jack specifically as well as the group of kids i saw leaving who i didnt get the names of:#thank you for saying hello u were all so sweet esp matt and ur family yall were total angels#ok im gonna stop rambling in the tags i just love animatronics and the fandom hehe
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bitches be like. i hate vegans so much that i’ve decided i like killing animals and its fine and i dont feel bad and animals dont have feelings and its fine and im cool subversive and different and edgy and like to post fucked up stuff to make vegans uncomfortable bc im just so cool
#you sound like every cishet republican man to me#you're not a Cool Subversive Leftist you're literally regressing by seeing animals as just objects of your pleasure and thats it lmao#im sorry but you dont just get to throw out all of veganism. it does infact have some roots in leftism.#you can sit there and cope with the fact you agree w some vegan talking point by calling it 'animal welfare' all you want#doesnt change the fact that a lot of those ideas in those circles were formed by vegans.#damn woooah vegans arent a monolith and dont all agree on the same shit woooahhh who knew#literally i have no idea how we even got to this point or how this would be surprising.#when i was on vegan twitter bitches were arguing all the fucking time within it. ur really gonna sit ther en tell me they're all secret#eco fash that hates native ppl and people who have to eat meat? ya sure???#you would think the individuals on tumblr- of all places- would understand how frustrating it would be to be grouped in with the worst#members of their community as if you represent them and are the sole spokesperson#you'd think they'd hate when someone jumps to conclusions about them based on their lifestyle#but naur. i think yall take it too personally. as if a vegan just being in a room is somehow trying to force you to be vegan.#literally grow tf up.#if a vegan being in the same room with you triggers feelings in you that you Have to stop eating meat- i really think thats a you problem#bud. homeboy hasnt even spoke to you leta lone look at you and apparently you feel this weird pressure now#idk man dont you think that pressure might be coming within?? maybe.... you do infact feel things and feel a lil guilty abt eating meat?#not telling you to stop... i still eat meat here n there. but at least im honest with myself about how it makes me feel to do it.#its infact normal to take a second to think about the loss someone made in exploitation to provide you with whatever.#if you can let yourself feel a lil guilt about buying a fast fashion thing you can sure as fuck finally extend your fuckin empathy to#animals and stop treating them like objects or toys.
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i have been out for the count for almost a week with this horrid cold but i am Nearly better and reallyyyyyyyy . want to draw
#but i forgor how . or like i forgot what i want my art to look like. studies time#thinking about future wansho in particular .... successful stars and still giant dorks ... museum exhibit of all the shit they did as teens#maybe some poor soul tries to plot out all the relationships of these wildly successful groups that all ? came from the same neighbourhood#in the same time frame.. and they all seem to know each other some way or other.... and also there was The Miku Incident Of 2025..... hm!#also considered future emurui and w the hair colours theres like a high potential if they had a kid that it would just have like#bisexual flag hair . like. naturally. so obvs the thought combo of uncle tsukasa going to absolute pieces over this tiny baby and then nene#being like. [mental logic that only she can follow] congratulations on your autism^2 now nobody will mistake you for a het couple ever agai#and everyone else present in the room is just [visibly loading symbol] Sorry What? What did you mean by this.#(they are both bi and autistic and their child looks like the bi flag and yet. how did she get to this sentence as something to say)#the scenario entertained me greatly for some reason but i have no idea how to draw babies or emotions so you get to read it as tag fic lol#anyway theres ur fankid jumpscare. every fanart blog is entitled to do one at some point probably. i think
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every time i ponder the meliwes orb i get a little emo out of guilt. i am so sorry white boy wes n i say this as melina’s #1 defender she did NOT deserve that boy 😭
#what if YOU 🫵 befriended ur frenemy’s (n thats a kind way to put it) ex gf post breakup#bc she hit ur dms on some ‘im going thru it and ur the only 1 ik who wouldnt be biased against me bc u n amber arent close’#knowing you would feel bad for her#n then she female manipulated u into developing a crush on her and shooting ur shot and believing that was YOUR idea#n u were w this girl for 3 months. first ever girlfriend mind u#shes super sweet super affectionate gets on well w ur mom top tier absolute sweetheart#for the first time in all ur 17 yrs u even get to feel a tidd-*i am SHOT*#then ghostface rolls back up and ur girl gets stabbed thru the shoulder literally on day 1 after the massacre starts#ur already paranoid and now ur FR SCARED bc ghostface almost got ur bitch!#and then ghostface gets YOU (and unbeknownst to u ur momma)#n even when ur abt to die ur still scared for ur girl…#and turns out the same girl WAS the ghostface who put a knife thru ur neck and she aint even love u#and just used u to get back into the group to be around her ex again and then killed u at her command the min she offered to get back w her#imagine that. well wes hicks does NOT have to imagine bc thats wtf HAPPENED to him!#tbf melina feels incredibly guilty for it n his death haunts her like. BAD. but girl…yk he aint do shit to u 😭#like she was a lesbian the whole time but considered him a genuinely good pal 😭#yk that boy innocent n aint deserve allat but amber satan freeman says stab him n melina says yes my queen i live 2 serve u what can i do-#like i love melina w all my heart n i will defend her always but i cant get behind this. she was foul for that 😭#what toxic yuri does to a mf#— ♡ 𝘤𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥'𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦! // melina bates.#— ship: meliwes.#— slasherverse posting.#— ➴ 𝘢 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘦 (𝘤𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘭𝘧 𝘤𝘳𝘺.) // meliwes.
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hope the president of my uni dies in a fire btw ✌️
#hes resigned already but still here until a replacement comes in#fuck this guy for real#'peaceful protests for palestine are happening on campus so we closed down campus for everyone'#'a gathering and encampment sprung up in a business area only technically part of campus so we yelled at them to leave and when then didnt'#'we just sent a fuck ton of cops armed to the teeth and in riot gear to bombard this small group w tear gas and rubber bullets'#'no significant injuries (to anyone we care abt) though so all is well!'#'we will keep heavily policing this fucking Public Institution and Open Campus for the next two weeks. all cops are allowed to attack#without warning restraint or reason. nothing was done abt the counter protestors who were violent n yelling slurs btw we love free speech!'#hate this man SO much#ran the uni into a fucking budget crisis and cause so many layoffs alrwady and now this shit???#die in a fucking fire. get the inisde of ur shitty mansion eggs. get run over by 18 cars.#genuinely so enraged im trying to had to be professional at work but i wanna start biting people#fuck this uni and fuck the admin. pres robbins die faster challenge#rambles#sorry this is negative but a lot has happened in the past two days and im so angry
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any other systems / collectives / etc have alters / facets / headmates / etc who come out literally Just to do a bit. like the commitment to the bit is what they're here for
#i put real ramble in tags like always but#i was in the car and listening to music and yknow. much like any singlet i know you get the music videos! in the brain.#but. the thing is they're a group project now. you understand.#its different than *me* (s) just imagining a music video like playing with dolls. of the mind. this... its participatory. you get it.#anyway t is pretty much a frequent flyer only because he's constantly deciding he's the star of brain music videos#also. ok. if u havent like stalked this blog u may not know but our basement in headspace is a karaoke bar bc i heard another system had on#and we were like “you can do that???” so we built one#and now. much of the time. it is a Performance for many a song#this isnt just t btw. every fictive. and two npcs(?) all from the same source (of course.) are like. it's my time to shine#and again it is very much different than when like i choose to imagine a music video cause i do that often too. but im never Surprised#by the music video im making. bc im making it! im making conscious artistic choices#but when t or n or m just Appear to make the song about them. im surprised. i oft laugh at their sudden choreography. yknow?#also t will sometimes just steal the mouth for one second to blurt out a bad joke and then run away leaving me to deal with the consequence#if ur gonna badly flirt w our irl partner you have to at least stick around. take responsibility!! you dick!! /lh#anyways#system stuff#s post
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gonna word vomit in these tags oops
#rambling to myself whatever#ik i just need to settle into this flat and get used to living by myself but im kinda like#hmm have i cursed myself w being lonely#i think also this flat is pretty dark bc the other buildings block out the sunlight so my seasonal depression is going crazy in advance#like its dumb but im not very approachable irl so i dont have many uni friends on my course and im just kinda#idk how i feel about it all#if my timetable stays the same i have tues and wed off and im getting in my head wo the distraction#like ik ill be fine in theory but im overthinking rn and its not even 3am lonely hours#and ik i can go out and do things by myself bc i often do but sometimes its nice to have the company#i made most of my friends at dorms but it was intercollegiate so they all go to diff unis to me so timetables clash double#and my closest uni friend is studying aboard in ny rn :(#idk i just feel like sometimes im not on the same path as everyone at uni rn#or maybe ur 20s are really just isolating idk#esp after the pandemic and many many lockdowns like i took a year out and all my old friends went straight to uni#and the diff in experience just meant they got closer and i got further#i only talk to one of them now and shes my ride or die but also she was kinda in a diff group of friends#and its funny (?) to think my main friendship group all still talk to each other#i just dont think im an easy person to be friends with#and idk why#its not for lack of trying or anything i just dont think im the type of person who has longlasting relationships#idk im not going into that rn#i also chose to go to a uni close to home so theres a lot that ive already done#its ok i can always do them again#but also im kinda like what if i just go home !! lmao#and itd be nice but i think itd make me feel worse when im back in the flat#hh whatever let me just get on with it and move on#its only 5 weeks until reading week and i only have this year left of uni#endure endure endure
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abyssmare!!! woohoo!!! (u can tell who i liked drawing the most lol)
#crow's scribbles#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#neo#weronika#elsie#sophia#abyssmare#i dont know how to tag them lol#neo looks like saki in these drawings im sorry i was trying to get used to drawing them#the simplest one to draw has to be elsie#im sorry weronika but WHY DO U HAVE A BEAR CLAW????#AND SOPHIA UR JACKET IS COOL AND ALL BUT WHY ALL THOSE DETAILS??#the only thing im struggling w neo is her looking like saki#her outfit is semi ok to draw#i just need to get better w people who wear stuff that shows skin#i like the fact that bushiroad released canon lesbians and sophia 'i admire neo's voice so much im obsessed w her singing' abyssmare#at the same time. it's wack.#im now adding sophia to the 'djs who admire their vocalist's singing so much' group w aoi shinobu and haruna#u can form a unit w that#just a suggestion lol#might post michiru and lumina drawings once i got them down#dk just enjoy the abyssal mares
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getting asks makes me so happy, thank you guys for trusting my input and for taking the time to send asks!! 🥺💖
i have a feeling i'm going to be online quite often this week, so if anyone has any questions about astrology, spiritual stuff, healing, anything, i'm always here!! happy to answer asks about certain placements (ie: gemini moon traits, mutable dominance traits, etc), compatibility (taurus x scorpio sun compatibility), astrology topics (what do the planets mean, what are the houses, etc), take requests for posts (ie: what does saturn in the signs mean), etc!!! <3
#luna.txt#i'm going through some stressful weird life stuff rn#and it's nice to come back to tumblr again and talk about astro and take my mind off the bad 💕#i feel like i'm in a whole new healing girl era but like still kinda in my endings painful girl era#im having feelings and thoughts and as a scorpio u can understand how stressful that is for me#JLKFDJFKLDFJ#anyway<3 love u guys#hope ur all doing well#pls send as many asks as u want#(i just cant read ur entire chart im sorry!!!)#anyway i was supposed to sleep early tonight bc i have so many work meetings tmrw#but now my brain is just like on Go mode and stress mode so#perhaps ill stay awake going thru old asks and answering any new ones i might get!!!!#and also.. staying awake for le sserafim comeback omg.. my fav gg (along w purplekiss) im so excited#ANYWAY!! im happy to talk anytime even if its not abt astro#feel free to come yell at me abt ur problems or ur wins or anything<3#im always happy to give older sister advice too.. or younger sister advice if ur older than me..#also always happy to talk about girl groups or genshin or myg or exo<3#ok ill stop rambling now.. its been a while since i treated tumblr like a diary oops
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love is. love is stored in tumblr users @boodlesofdoodles and @beesallhail sharing all of their cb charlie thoughts and brain worms with tumblr user ocularmacdown who was ill and also asleep when they were being cooked up. that’s love to me.
#kissing you both passionately w tongue#/platonic#boodocular has become boodoculallhail <3#isn’t that beautiful? i think that’s beautiful.#figuratively we are all holding hands in a circle and skipping around#criminally offensive that group chats do not exist on tumblr.#what even. and why. what is that for. and why.#what about the boys in threes#what about. the boys in other time zones. what about them.#D:#/british#mook i can’t believe you dipped on me. i am POORLY >:(#u gave me u and bees big brained cb charlie thoughts and i felt better and then u disappeared and i felt WORSE#/j OFC big kiss have a good day#bees i hope ur having a good day too <3#waving to u both from the doorway of our prairie homestead with a white handkerchief#i’ll shut up now#zoot.posts
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the way i dont support a single relationship in only friends besides april and cheum LMAO
#like ive always been a top hater if i was the token dyke in their friend group i wouldve told mew to break up w him every day#but now even more so like when he started taking off his clothes and cuddling him in bed while he was drunk???#ur crossing way too many boundaries sir!!!!!!!!#tbh i could be a sandray enjoyer again if ray was completely committed to him which he isnt rn </3#and i dont like seeing nick act all pathetic STAND UP AND FUCK PAPANG#also its bostons turn now to be pathetic#vinnie talks
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man. sux to see ive actually radically dropped interest in pokemon. been meaning to replay violet for yonks now and i still have yet to even buy the dlc. used to be day 1 super excited go crazy go stupid over that shit but now its just smth neat i can put on the back shelf and interact w later. wild
#id say ‘oh maybe it has smth to do w my recent departure from a friend group’ but#no. i think its just harlivy/dc filling that big interest role now#like i still love pokemon to death its just. not my main thing anymore#which is weird and kinda sux bc its been my Thing since i was like. 5.#anyway. im not back yet. just wanted to pop in i suppose. had a bad mental health crash a few days ago n im still recovering lol#everything sucks and is bad when u purposely make ur friends u talk to daily hate u so u can remove urself from a cycle of pain#but it only makes it worse for urself. but hey. least they should all be doing better i suppose#eugh sorry for venting online ill stop that shit right there and just go back to my hidey hole. take care xx#bloom doom
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