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heeliumhaze-elle · 3 months ago

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close friends

「synopsis」 — after running into her extremely toxic ex at jake's birthday party last year, y/n seemed to disappear off the face of the planet. the only traces of her were her instagram story posts during her month-long trip to the states at the start of the new year. but other than that, no one had seen or heard from her since that night in november. the boys have speculated that it was because of the run-in with k all those months ago; however, when something y/n posts on her 'close friends' story begins to circulate through their group, they grow increasingly suspicious and angry over their speculations. ... except something about all of this doesn't sit right with heeseung. 「warnings」 — mc suffers from depression & struggles with thoughts of suicide, the boys are kinda petty assholes imo, cursing. please dm me if i missed anything! 「word count」 — 4923 words 「author's note」 — lowercase intended. only slightly proofread. no real plot, rushed ending - like seriously i didn't know how to end it so i just did... this is my first story, so i'm really nervous, lol. this is all fictional. the way the idols are portrayed in this story does not reflect how i view them by any means. 「dedication」 — this story is dedicated to my friend ani - may you always remember that you are never alone, not anymore.

"can you fucking believe her?" asked sunghoon, staring at the screenshot on jungwon's phone.

jake and jay agreed, peering over sunghoon's shoulder to get a better look at the photo. sunoo, who sat opposite the 02z, let out a tired sigh while ni-ki, who sat on the tabletop between jake and sunoo, massaged his temples. meanwhile, jungwon looked at his hyungs uneasily. heeseung wondered if he regretted asking if y/n was okay.

heeseung kept his gaze fixed on his friends as they continued to skim through the now-infamous screenshot.

"literally though, like what the fuck are we then?" ni-ki asked. "how dare she."

"god, no! and then to re-add us to her 'close friends' as if nothing happened," jay added. "like jungwon wouldn't have said anything to us."

"right?" sunoo said, rolling his eyes as he read through the post. "as if he wasn't going to tell us! like hello? he's our best friend!"

"it's like it was about us," jake said. "i'm not here to play these games. if she has a fucking problem with us, she needs to just fucking say so. we're not in high school anymore!"

"... well, except ni-ki," muttered sunoo.

jungwon let out a nervous sigh. "guys, i didn't mean to start anything-."

"no!" jay interrupted. "jake's right. we're all old enough. she needs to use her fucking words. she has a problem with us, just fucking say so. don't fucking act like we're all 'good' when it's clearly about us."

"because what the hell did we ever do to her?" sunghoon demanded.

all the while, jungwon's phone was making its rounds to each of the boys. and soon, the phone was in heeseung's hands. he was finally able to read the screenshot that started this entire uproar.

... and he was gutted.

"my sleep schedule is so fucked as of lately. all i do is lay in bed for 85-90% of my day. i can't keep pretending i'm jet-lagged from my trip to the states. i desperately crave to get out of the house to do things with other people, but i literally have no friends here — outside the ones that i made at work. even when i try to do things on my own, it's just so mentally taxing that i end up sleeping for 24+ hours after attempting to make myself feel better. it's a lot, i guess.

"... if i wasn't so afraid of death and dying, then maybe-."

heeseung felt his heart drop. he forced himself to stop reading; he couldn't continue, knowing that's where y/n's mind went.

how long had y/n been feeling this way? was there truth in what the other boys were saying? was this post about them?

shaking his head, heeseung refocused his attention on his friends. they all sat around him, angered by the post that y/n had made just the day before. the only person - save for himself - who wasn't mad about what y/n posted was jungwon. but heeseung couldn't tell if that was because he was still able to view her close friends story on instagram or if jungwon was genuinely worried about y/n.

even if the post was about them, heeseung told himself that that was the least of their concerns. the only thing that mattered to him (and he was surprised that his friends didn't seem to think similarly on the subject) was how y/n felt.

as the others went on to bash y/n for posting that and not being upfront with them about her feelings, heeseung handed jungwon back his phone.

"like honestly, i thought we were friends. what is her problem?" sunghoon circled back.

heeseung stood from his seat at the park table, white-knuckled fists suddenly clenched at his side. he startled the others with how abruptly he got up, but he didn't seem to care. "are you all fucking hearing yourself right now?"

"did you not just see what she posted yesterday?" jay asked.

ni-ki looked up at his hyung and added, "and she's so messy for re-adding us to her close friends list. if it wasn't for jungwon hyung, we wouldn't have ever seen this. so i bet she thinks she got away with talking shit about us like that."

"that's exactly what she was thinking!" jake chimed in.

heeseung didn't stay to hear what his insensitive friends had to say next. he simply told the five of them to "fuck off" and bid jungwon goodbye before storming off from the scene. as he neared his car, he reached for his phone from his back pocket; he wanted to text y/n. he needed to! however, upon closer inspection, he realized that his phone was out of battery. and of course, today was the day his car's charging cable broke!

groaning to himself, heeseung let himself into his vehicle and just drove. with his phone dead, there was no way for him to reach y/n to give her the heads-up that he'd be arriving anytime soon... but he also figured - given what he had read only minutes and minutes ago - that she would be home regardless.

his thoughts drifted back to y/n. he kept wondering how long she had been feeling that way. he wondered if she felt lonely because while she was locked away in her apartment, the rest of them were still going to each other's houses and planning group excursions... excursions, heeseung came to realize, that y/n wasn't invited to.

fuck! he thought as he came to a red light. if that post truly was about him and the rest of the guys, was it not deserved? he thought back to all the times that they went out without inviting y/n and he wondered if her fomo eventually got so bad she thought that they had silently kicked her out of the friend group. no... there's no way she thought that! right? y/n had a lot more sense than to think that a few outings without her meant that they no longer wanted to be her friend. right?!

the light stayed red as heeseung's mind swirled with several different thoughts. there was more to the post. heeseung knew that. granted, he didn't read it as thoroughly as his friends had, but he had skimmed through it quickly enough. the others were so hung up on the fact that y/n said she didn't have any friends; heeseung also guessed they were angry over the little bits of text that followed her dark thoughts. but... was she wrong to say all those things? the other seemed to think so. so much so that they completely ignored the blatant cry for help that was the entirety of y/n's post.

when the light finally turned green, heeseung couldn't stop thinking about the first line of the last paragraph. "...if i wasn't so afraid of death and dying, then maybe all of this would be so much easier."

in the three years that heeseung had gotten to know y/n, he had to admit that he was very aware of how dangerously dark her thoughts could be. there were moments when he wouldn't hear from her for weeks at a time. he remembered how y/n would lament on the droves of friends she had lost in the years prior because they hated when she would fall into her slump. after all, she wouldn't text anyone for days at a time; he recalled how when she recalled those memories, it somehow always ended with the friends telling her that she was selfish or that she wasn't trying hard enough to get better.

heeseung quickly parked his car in the guest space of y/n's apartment complex. from his spot, he could see the curtains of her bedroom window weren't drawn, but the window was cracked opened ever-so-slightly. he found himself devising a plan b in case y/n didn't come to the door and it involved somehow shimmying up to the second floor and busting through her window.

without another moment to lose, he rapidly bashed his pointer finger against the doorbell. at least if she was sleeping, he was certain that this'd wake her up!

not even a minute had gone by when y/n flung her apartment door open. heeseung took in the sight of her. her hair, a tangled, matted mess. if he had to guess, he assumed her knots were much worse at the back of her head. he noted that the fullness of her cheeks had vanished. she looked so gaunt compared to the last time he saw her; he wondered when the last time she ate was... or at least when the last time she ate anything of sustenance was.

y/n looked at heeseung with tired eyes. she frowned for a moment, only to replace it with a sad smile.

"have you come to air your grievances with me in person?" she said in a strained whisper.

if heeseung had been gutted before, he had no idea what this new feeling was. whatever it was though, it shattered whatever was left of him. he had known y/n to have horrible episodes of hopelessness and defeat, but this was too much for him to bear. he couldn't even begin to imagine how she was feeling. she was a shell of herself.

"... what are you talking about?" he asked gently.

"i just thought..." y/n let out a deep, long sigh. she looked down at her hello kitty house slippers, not finishing her thought aloud. she tightly wrapped her arms around herself as she stroked her right upper arm slowly.

instinctively, heeseung removed his coat and draped it over y/n. her bloodshot, tired eyes looked up at him once more. he wanted to hold her. to make her feel his warmth. to make her feel his love. he just wanted her to see she wasn't alone anymore.

"you just thought what?" he asked as y/n ushered him inside.

she shut the door behind her and wordlessly led him to the small couch in her living room. heeseung saw the nest she had created for herself with her blankets, pillows, and plushies in the dark space. the only source of light came from her muted television, which was currently airing reruns of old cartoons from the 1990s and the early 2000s. there were torn-up bags of chips (some empty and some half-full), unfinished, open bottles of soju and cans of beer, and a plethora of takeout boxes scattered around her little nest across her tiny coffee table. trash and dirty laundry lined the floor around her couch.

"sorry about the mess. i haven't had visitors in over six months now..."

six months. the last time anyone had seen y/n had been over seven months ago. sure, they had seen her posting all about her trip back to the states a month ago, but no one had physically been in her presence in over half a year. heeseung wanted to kick himself. why hadn't he visited sooner?

"no... please don't apologize-."

"i'm embarrassed," she whispered, trying to make space on the couch by tossing all of her used bedding to the floor.

heeseung stopped her in time, insisting that it was fine. after all, he had been the one to show up unannounced.

"what were you talking about before, y/n?" heeseung tried holding her gaze, but she quickly averted her eyes to her slippers once more. "what grievances are you talking about?"

every sigh that escaped y/n's lips was a dagger to heeseung's heart. he watched as she struggled to find the words to say. sensing her panic, heeseung guided her into her cocoon of blankets - making some room for himself as well. the two of them sat side-by-side in silence. he could wait all day for her to reply, especially if it meant not leaving her alone in this state.

"your friends," y/n reached for her phone from the recesses of her blankets, "they all texted me these paragraphs about something that i posted privately yesterday."

WHAT?!

heeseung could feel his blood boiling. "how do you mean?"

PARAGRAPHS?!

y/n unlocked her phone and handed the device to the man beside her. just as soon as he got a hold of her phone, she quickly retracted her hand and brought it to her eyes, rubbing away at them.

heeseung first watched as y/n began to curl up into a ball, then he directed his attention to her phone. upon first glance at her message app, he noticed that there were three circles pinned to the top: two group chats - one called "ohana 👑" and the other "the tortured poets department 🖊️" - and a silly selfie of him and y/n with the nickname "evan lee 💜" plastered just below it. a blush danced upon his cheeks at the sight of it all.

however, the warmth in his cheeks lasted for only a millisecond as his eyes fell just below their text thread; it appeared that ni-ki, jay, sunghoon, jake, and sunoo all sent messages to y/n in the time that it took for heeseung to arrive. heeseung tapped at the most recent of the texts, sunoo's. he repeated the process with jake's, sunghoon's, jay's, and finally, ni-ki's texts. with each scroll through of texts from his friends, he found himself getting angrier and angrier at them. especially after reading y/n's responses to each of them.

it was hard to tell tone over text, but heeseung knew his friends well. each message to y/n was crafted uniquely and in the sender's own words, but the gist of what they were saying was all the same.

they each started their message by telling y/n that they had been with jungwon the day before and how he had asked them if she was okay. they all state that they didn't know what he could possibly be talking about until jungwon mentioned that it was in reference to her instagram story - a story he failed to mention was only for close friends.

jay and sunoo went on to say that they didn't mind that they couldn't see her story; y/n was allowed to pick and choose who she wanted to see those stories. jake, ni-ki, and sunghoon - on the other hand - took major offense into not being able to see her story, considering "everything" they had been through "together with k". they all mentioned how deeply hurt they were by the fact that y/n said she had not friends. ni-ki had gone as far as to say, "i thought that me and the hyungs were your friends. but i guess not, huh?"

they then followed up their emotions with the same statements they were exclaiming at the park, about how if y/n had something to say about them to just outright say it and not dabble in this "high school bullshit and make everyone play this stupid game where they have to figure out what the hell it is they did wrong" (as jake put it in his text). in sunoo's message, he claimed that he was only reaching out to y/n because he wanted to be upfront with her and couldn't think of a single thing he might have done to offend her. jay and sunghoon continued to stress the fact that their text wasn't meant to be read as an attack, but they "wanted to be adults about the situation instead of resorting to petty, childish drama" because they too couldn't think of anything to warrant such a post from y/n. ni-ki drew from the fact that he and the rest of the boys were hurting over this and how it was "shady and cringy" to post a story like that on her social media account; he accused her of just wanting attention because he "didn't do anything wrong" so for her to post that with the implication that he had irritate the maknae to no end.

just like that, each of them wrapped up their lengthy chunks of text to y/n with such vitriol that heeseung couldn't believe that these were his friends. he knew they were coming from a place of hurt, but he was surprised that they didn't see y/n's post for what it truly was: a cry for help.

instead, they turned her raw emotions into their hurt egos. they decided to take bits and pieces of y/n's story and mold it into this narrative where she attempted to assassinate their characters. it went from being a post about how utterly depressed and pathetic she felt to being a post about them.

and heeseung was livid.

with all of them.

when had they become so self-important? if they were truly y/n's friends like they had so furiously claimed to be, why hadn't any of them asked if she was okay? even jungwon failed to ask her, opting instead to ask his hyungs and ni-ki - which, arguably got everyone in this mess in the first place.

heeseung felt his mind drift back to y/n's reply to each of the boys' texts. while he didn't read every single one, he did read the only one that got a text back, y/n's text to ni-ki. it was a long, heartfelt apology from y/n; heeseung could see how this whole mess was tearing her up inside just from her words to ni-ki alone. but he got even madder when he got to her parting words, only to see that ni-ki had replied with, "k. thanks for reaching out. i just need time for myself if i'm being honest. bye."

before he could say anything, heeseung was brought back to reality when he caught y/n silently sobbing into her hands from the corner of his eye.

"i'm sorry!" she whispered. over and over again. each time more broken than the last.

heeseung gently pulled her closer to his chestm cradling her to him as he rubbed his thumb against her back in an effort to comfort her. "you have nothing to be sorry for..."

"i hurt everyone's feelings-!"

"fuck them," heeseung growled, holding her tighter. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry that they let their egos get in the way of being decent human beings. i'm sorry that you've felt so alone for the last few months. i'm sorry that i haven't shown up for you in the way that you needed someone to be there."

y/n cried harder. "i... i... i... i didn't... i didn't mean..." her hiccups were affecting the rhythm of her speech. "i didn't mean that... that we weren't friends! i just... i just felt-."

"shhhh," he soothed as she shuddered under his embrace. "we haven't been very good friends to you as of lately, anyway. they're like my brothers and i love them, but those messages alone... we haven't been decent friends to you. i can understand how easy it is to feel like you're this lonely, little island, especially when the rest of us are still going out and making no effort to see how you're doing.

"i saw their messages to you. in ni-ki's case specifically, i scrolled up a little too far and saw that you've spent the last half of these past few months messaging him little things like tiktoks and memes only for him to like them or reply to you with one word. have you been reaching out to the rest of the boys?"

he felt her nod against his chest.

oh... so he was the only one to not have heard from her. the green-eyed monster crept into his thoughts momentarily, only for him to realize that the others' text threads were probably just as dry as ni-ki's.

"i'm really sorry that i didn't reach out to you sooner," heeseung sighed. "i really don't know what i was thinking. i'm sorry that you've felt so alone."

once y/n had calmed down enough to stop her hiccups, she excused herself to grab a glass of water. she asked heeseung if he wanted anything while she was up, but he declined - instead offering to get the glass for her. she appreciated the gesture but went to get the water herself.

this moment alone left heeseung in his thoughts again. he didn't want her to have to recount anything to him if she didn't want to, but he still needed to know. in her text to ni-ki, she said that she hadn't meant to keep jungwon on her list of close friends. that what she posted hadn't meant to be for the people she had met in south korea; it was for her friends back home - as a way to vent out the frustrations she hadn't known how to put into words for her korean audience. these frustrations, from what heeseung could gather, were things she wasn't ready to tell him or the others.

but the others had practically forced it out of her in her apologies to them...

... and ni-ki had the gall to tell her that he needed time and space from her. the rest left her on read - as if only turning their read receipts on for this moment alone.

heeseung could feel himself getting worked up all over again. gripping tightly at the fabric of his jeans, he sat up straighter when he heard y/n coming back to the darkened living room.

"i'm sorry," y/n whispered as she neared him.

heeseung stared up at her helplessly as she sat beside him. "no, there's nothing to be-."

"i meant to take all of you off my 'close friends' list. it wasn't because i didn't think we were friends; there are just some things from my past that i'm not ready to talk about with you guys yet-."

"and you don't have to! i'm sorry that the rest of them think that you owe us that..."

"i mean... they thought it was about them; they just wanted to clear things up and let how they were feeling be known," y/n said with a sigh, pulling heeseung's coat closer to her chest. "i offended them. i respect them from being upfront about their feelings-."

"IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!" heeseung stood up to face y/n. "WHY ARE THEY ALLOWED TO EXPRESS THEIR EMOTIONS LIKE THAT AND YOU'RE NOT?"

regret washed over heeseung as he noticed y/n's sullen eyes widen. she bit her quivering lips and heeseung wanted to punch himself in the face.

"sorry," he muttered. "i didn't mean to blow up like that. i just..."

heeseung knelt before y/n.

"no, it's okay," she said, avoiding his gaze.

"it's not... and what the guys did isn't okay either. yeah, they confronted you because they thought it was about them and they want to clear the air, but there's a way to go about that. and for ni-ki to go off on your like that only to leave you with that 'i need space' bullshit of a text-."

"he's just a kid."

"i get that, but i have no idea where the boys get off with being so... i don't know... vain? for lack of a better word. their reactions just feel so... guilty. as if they had done something-."

"i was being extremely vague in my post."

heeseung took y/n's shaking hands, finally holding her gaze as she looked at him. she seemed shocked by the physical interaction; he wondered how long it had been since she had touched another person outside their hug minutes ago.

"exactly! if it wasn't about them, but they somehow found a way to relate to it? i don't know... again, i think they're acting out of guilt," heeseung caressed the back of her hands with his thumb.

y/n gave heeseung a sad smile. "i get their side. with the way i worded everything, i can see how they relate what i wrote with the way everyone handled everything between k and me a few years ago."

heeseung felt y/n rip her hands away from his as she buried her face into her hands. sitting back on the couch, he pulled her into another hug; she didn't seem to be crying again, but he couldn't be too sure anymore. y/n hadn't mentioned her past relationship with k since their nasty breakup, but he remembered how unbothered she had been upon seeing him seven months ago at jake's birthday party. he also remembered how angered y/n had been - despite being unbothered at k's initial presence - because he attempted to approach her while she was alone at the open bar, grabbing refills for heeseung, sunghoon, and herself.

"... did the post have anything to do with k?" heeseung asked. he felt her go stiff at the mention of her ex-boyfriend before shaking her head against his chest and letting out a small sniffle. "okay, then? so the boys had nothing to worry about. it's just this huge misunderstanding. if they want to hold it against you, fuck 'em."

"i still really hurt their feelings."

"you apologized. did they?"

y/n pushed heeseung away to hug her legs to her chest. she shook her head. "but... a selfish part of me really feels like i'm owed one."

"it's not selfish - especially after you cleared it up with them. they jumped conclusions and said extremely hurtful things to you. if they truly did no wrong - which who knows, maybe they didn't do anything wrong! - i don't know... maybe they shouldn't have been so defensive. i don't know! maybe it's just me... but their behavior is downright embarrassing!"

with another sigh, y/n leaned against heeseung, who instantly wrapped his arm around her; it felt just like before, like no time had passed between the two of them. like there wasn't this mix of guilt, hopelessness, and despair in the air between them.

"embarrassing?"

"how else would your describe it when you make someone else's trauma and hurting about you?" heeseung asked, giving y/n's shoulder a tight squeeze. "y/n, i know you. i know you're not going to hold this another the boys, but i think their reaction to all of this is downright stupid. you talked about some pretty serious stuff in your post, but they pushed past that to complain that you might have posted about them. that doesn't sit right with me-."

"it's not that deep, hee-."

"except it is, y/n! this is exactly what happened with k hyung after you two broke up and more recently after jake's party. specifically after jake's party, you posted something privately about how hard things have been on your end and how it was affecting your mental health; someone shared it with him and he confronted you-."

"k apologized-."

"but then he immediately turned the conversation into 'i'm sorry, but also you hurt me!' and then you two only focused on his feelings!" heeseung thought back to that time. "i just... i feel like the boys took whatever was posted in the wrong direction. and even then, it wasn't even aimed in their direction to begin with! there are worse things to be done and that have been done than taking someone off your story then putting them back on..."

y/n pressed herself closer to heeseung as he continued.

"and honestly... whatever was actually said in your story was so much bigger than their feelings being hurt, y/n. because we both know that wasn't what it was about."

"hee..."

"look, i know... i know that you never meant for any of us to see it, but we did. and instead of seeing it for what it was, most of them made it about themselves. and i'm sorry for that. i'm sorry that we haven't been good friends to you lately - to the point where you felt like we weren't your friends to begin with. they're allowed to be hurt over it if they truly think that it's about them, but they can't just ambush you like that and then close the discussion when you clear the air and open it up for them. honestly, with the way all of this was handled, i wouldn't be surprised if you still stood by that statement! it's almost like... at every turn, you're reprimanded in some way for posting about your feelings. someone always has to take it out of context and make it about themselves.

"you literally told every single one of them that it had nothing to do with them and they have the audacity to sit there and say that they need time away from you? again, that doesn't sit right with me! why are you made to be the problem in every situation you're stuck to struggle with!"

there was still so much more heeseung had wanted to say, but the sounds of y/n's violent sobs had stopped him. she began to wail into his chest again and she squeezed him closer to her. heeseung felt his heart breaking as he looked down at one of his best friends. she wept loudly, screaming incoherent phrases into him while heeseung held her tightly.

"i'm sorry," heeseung whispered into her hair, pulling her onto his lap. "i'm sorry that i wasn't there for you before... i'm sorry that it's taken me so long to see how much you've been hurting. i'm sorry for everything. but i'm here now."

#heeliumhaze-elle writes #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #heeseung angst #heeseung au #enhypen #enhypen angst #enhypen fic #enha fic #enha angst

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noctuadora · 2 months ago

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About the Japanese relationship charts circulating around RE Twitter…

I've been seeing these images used to spark discussion... and arguments. Shipping wars aside, I was more intrigued by this Japanese term used to describe Leon and Ada’s relationship.

I want to explain these words in more detail, so this post will be about that + answering questions that some might ask. I'm also including Leon and Claire's chart as well.

Note: I am currently studying Japanese. I made this post partly because I like to understand advanced terms that are unique to a specific language. Despite this, my explanation is not immune to errors.

Leon and Claire’s relationship chart in Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021).

Explaining this first because this is fairly easy to understand.

信頼関係 (しんらいかんけい・shinraikankei) - A relationship of mutual trust.

Kanji breakdown:

信頼 > reliance, trust, faith, confidence // 関係 > relationship

It should come as no surprise to anyone that Leon and Claire trust and rely on each other.

Q. ‘Is the term exclusively used for them only?’

No. 信頼関係 was also used to describe Leon's relationship with President Graham (and Jason or Patrick).

Leon and Ada’s relationship chart in Resident Evil: 6 (2012).

This is the term that others can't seem to grasp well (I mean they kinda do, but they also misinterpret it weirdly). In the English version, their relationship is described as ‘fatal ties’, but I don't care about that - I'm focusing on the Japanese version.

腐れ縁 (くされえん・kusareen) - an undesirable but inseparable relationship.

Kanji breakdown:

腐れ > to rot // 縁 > relations

The highlight of this word is the kanji 腐る, which is a negative verb used to describe something rotting/decaying.

The "inseparable relationship" part may be interpreted as romantic to some; as some shippers say, 'they are fated' (more on that later). But first, we need to understand what 腐れ縁 means in more context. Here are some excerpts I've taken from multiple sources.

離れようとしても離れられない関係 - A relationship that you know you should let go of, but can't. (This is consistent with OG RE4 Leon's line of 'she's a part of me I can't let go'.)

Note: 離れ (はなれ・hanare) mostly means 'to let go (of something/someone)' and 'to separate/to give up/to part ways'.

離れよう、縁を切ろうとしても断ち切れない好まし��ない関係 - An unfavorable relationship that you can't cut off no matter how much you try to.

Note: 好ましい (このましい・konomashii) means desirable. 好ましくない (このましくない・konomashikunai) is the negative conjugation of it. 好ましくない関係 - undesirable relationship.

Just from this alone, you can see that their dynamic is difficult to understand. And that's what 腐れ縁 is.

Q. ‘Is the word 'rotten relationship' an accurate translation of the term?’

Google Translate translates this word LITERALLY. I think there is no true English equivalent of 腐れ縁, but yeah, 'fatal ties' is the term closest to it.

Q. ‘Can Leon and Ada be described as 'fated'?’

The answer is yes... and no. Here is another excerpt I find to be interesting:

「運命の相手」を思わせるようなニュアンスですが、実際には好ましくない関係に使われることが多い言葉です。- The term 腐れ縁 does have a nuance that is reminiscent of "destined/fated partner (or in other words, 'the one')", but in reality, it is often used to refer to undesirable relationships.

Q. ‘So... Is their relationship that bad?'

The answer to this question will depend on your own interpretation of Leon and Ada's dynamic - and that's why people are quite divided when it comes to them. It is said that 腐れ縁 can be positive... in the sense that if you experienced it before, you can now have a better judgment of people (lol). But in some cases, a long-lasting rotting relationship (like theirs) could mean that they at least have some level of mutual trust only they understand. It can work... but even the article I've read wasn't so clear on how it can work, so.

If you made it this far, I hope you found this interesting. :)

#kusare en truly is the perfect term to describe the relationship between these two in my opinion #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #ada wong #claire redfield #resident evil #analysis #adorathoughts #日本語の勉強

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lemonhemlock · 4 months ago

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I love Larys this season and his scenes with Aegon that's all. Compelling and Matthew Needham is quite a force. Well and Rhaena hunting down Sheepstealer is good. Nothing else is fun.

i agree about larys with the one caveat i'm going to list below

larys is probably the one green character who makes the most sense, both that his characterisation is consistent AND the way others view him and his reactions to that MAKE SENSE. larys is still larysing but when aemond proves to be a contrarian he switches back to aegon. for once, aemond's shenanigans get proper consequences from his small councilors.

how does alicent not have any leverages against being dismissed when she is the one hightower representative left? sure, aemond sends back for otto, but do you think the story frames that as compensation for dismissing alicent or did the writers feel obligated to bring him back bc he needs to have his death scene? not one braincell was put into this. daemon does shit in the riverlands and the riverlords STAND UP and bully him back. he also has a big scary dragon and they don't give a shit, so it CAN be done, the writers know deep down how to do this, IF THEY CAREF

why is tyland not putting his foot down and demanding something for house lannister? his brother has a bunch of maiden daughters and daeron is unmarried and has a dragon. the frey lord and lady negociated with jace for their support, jeyne arryn is PISSED that she didn't get what she wanted

what the hell is ironrod even doing? he threw in his lot with aemond but aemond doesn't seem to like him or even give a shit about him so why doesn't he have some kind of reaction. i guess the discussion with larys could have been a step in the right direction because you can say he is testing out the waters to see if he can curry favour with aemond by offering up intel OR if he could forge an alliance with larys and go from there

and this is where i have an issue with the writing bc, on the one hand, they are categorically NOT portraying larys as incompetent, but they are also inadvertently making him SO BAD at his job by making these stupid changes from the book. another symptom of wanting to have one's cake and eat it too. the city is in lockdown but rhaenyra can sneak in, no problem, elenda can not only sneak in, she can access an entire network of pro-rhaenyra agents larys somehow knows nothing about, can raise literal riots, can recruit dragonseeds (why do you even need dragonseeds from KL when you're living on dragonstone?!), rhaenyra's food can reach the population somehow even though there are checkpoints at every entry, the dragonseeds can leave by boat and LARYS KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS 🧍and no one even thinks to ask him 'hey wtf is going on? you're kinda fired'. but they can't, can they? they can't get rid of larys because he is important to the plot and they need him in the thick of things!

there's a dumbass post circulating now in which someone ✨generously✨ gives people permission to complain about the show but without bringing that "boring book" (FB) into discussion for a comparative analysis. because apparently the book is bad but somehow not bad enough to keep watching tv media derived from it 🤡

the problem with HotD is that it makes FB the pinnacle of logic and storytelling. it doesn't fix any problems, it compounds them. this shit with larys would not fly in the book bc it is dumb as fuck! so you can't help but compare it to the book where these things did not have to be explained away by waving a magic wand or getting a lobotomy

this post is long enough as it is and other people have already explained the problem with the rhaena storyline, so i won't get into it right now, but, in a nutshell: her story can make sense in a void, she get a semblance of an arc: she wanted a dragon and now she will get one and goes on a journey of re-defining her identity, i suppose, after having been dismissed as not sufficiently targaryen as a result of her being dragonless. so, it's the classic problem of making sense in a watsonian way, in the context of the show, but in a doylist way it's Not The Best because they have to delete the only canonically POC low-born character. so we lose that perspective in a show that already prioritizes the highborn

larys has the same problem with him being a sexual deviant directly connected to his disability. as an individual character, it can be explained and justified, but as representation for disabled people (who suffer from a severe lack of representation in media as is), it's Not Great

#ask #anon #hotd s2 #larys strong

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diluclover300 · 9 months ago

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Just One Week (2)

Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Also posted on my ao3 account: diluclover300

CHAPTER INDEX:

I H8 U

My Kinda Fun

Balance

{S] Awake

Eggs and Rice

Wait, but I'm broke

Couple's Discount

CHAPTER 2: My Kinda Fun

Damn it. When you said you wanted to fight him, you didn't think he'd actually say yes. You didn't think he'd take you seriously!

Now you're shaking like a cat who's just been thrown into a very unnecessary, cold bathtub, shoving your reading glasses into your now discarded backpack on the floor. Except that bathtub was a random rooftop he's managed to transport you to. So you shiver as the breeze hits your bare legs, crossing your arms so tight that your blood circulation has gone out the window.

"So? What now?" You say through clattering teeth, squeezing yourself together as your hair blows in the direction of your face. Every now and then you see Gojo in front of you, like a game of hide and seek but with your own hair.

Your audacity has only gotten worse with time, Satoru thinks. You're the one who asked to fight in the first place, why were you trembling like a little mouse? It's laughable.

He shrugs. "Dunno. Hurry up and land a punch before I do it first."

He moves, rotating his arm in a steady circle, as if he's winding up the air against his muscles. In reality, he's combining his fingers together into a fist, one that aims at you.

"W-wait!" You clear you throat, sounding like a shrill little girl with a small, little voice.

"What?"

He pulls off his sunglasses, white hair blowing along the wind as his eyes glint against the night sky. A threat is what that stern look is, the drop of those glasses following.

It's not an romantic reaction when your heart skips a beat. That twinge in your heart is one of utter fear.

God. You're dead if he uses those eyes of his.

A losing battle is what it is. You sure as hell don't want to fight if there's nothing in it to win other than your already-bruised ego. Which you don't need to resurrect by any means, but what you do need is for Gojo Satoru to be gone, for peace to re-enter your miserable life.

"If I win, then, will you–"

"Fine."

"I didn't even–"

"You're losing anyways."

"Why you–"

"If I win, you'll grant me three wishes. Sounds like a deal, doesn't it?"

"I never said yes." You brace for impact, bent at the knees as you ground your rather wobbly feet against the cold rooftop. Geez, you can see the entirety of Japan from this building.

"It's called a mutual agreement."

"Whatever."

The breeze almost sways you, almost. You try to squeeze your focus into your arms. Knowing that you've been on your feet all day was your biggest disadvantage against Gojo Satoru, who had the strength of the Gods. Figuratively, of course.

He doesn't do anything, he just folds his legs until he's sitting on the floor, feet crossed together.

"What're you–"

"Come and get me."

Fine. You will. You're no pussy.

A long sigh draws out of you before you charge at him, coursing cursed energy through your left arm.

"Predictable." Gojo clicks his tongue, unimpressed as you swing with all your might. "You need more practice."

Of course, it doesn't land. He has that stupid limitless thing, a barrier which you can't predict. He's gotten stronger, just as Gojo Satoru does.

"I fucking hate you." You heave, so badly out of shape. Fuck, you need to hit the gym someday. "It's not fair, you have that stupid... that stupid limitless thing!"

Satoru looks up at you. It's admirable to see how weak someone so strong has gotten over the years. How the cold air puffs in and out through your lips.

It's what a office job does to a person, huh? He thinks.

"You whine too much for a jujutsu sorcerer." He groans as he gets up from the ground. "Is this how you intend to win? Against me?"

Ha. Even he knows he's not some ordinary Joe. It makes your blood curdle as you wipe off your sweaty palms against your knees.

"Cocky bastard."

You begin to back up as he walks towards you, each stride slower than the last.

"Am I? You know, I could beat you without that limitless thing." His eyebrows furrow, frustrated at your puny little attempts of putting up a fight.

"As if." You stumble over your steps and you swear that he's trying to kill you. That looks in his eyes is nothing but sinister.

"Don't believe me?" He laughs, sending a slight chill down your spine. "Try it."

Humiliating, you believe this to be. He's baby-proofing this fight for you, making things easy for you. Though you've sworn off your pride, it swells up in your heart.

You won't have any of this.

"Fine then. I'm not using my technique either." You step back until you're finally cornered, back straightening up against the cold, gray walls.

"Okay." He looms over you, hands stuffed in his pocket. "I'd win either way."

Your back compresses even further against the small entrance to the rooftop, breath caught up in your chest.

Okay, you think. There's no technique involved whatsoever. You can either land punches or kicks with cursed energy. Nothing more than that.

"I'm waiting." He looks down at you, with such intensity that you're turning into goo, a bag of nerves.

"Okay. I get it. Give me a second to think."

You blink, looking up at him.

You're going to lose, you're well aware he has a better sense for... well, everything. He's better than you, which was one reason why you quit, but you didn't want to do a deep dive into that right now. Not when you've got a once in a lifetime reward on the line.

Whatever. You were going to give it your all.

SMACK.

You slap him. Once. The satisfaction, the hopeless toss of his head as you do this feels great. You feel alive as the cells of your palm lightly tingle against each other. Nice.

SMACK.

Twice. You don't even let him recover. He's silent, that pale skin of his cheek reddening.

SMACK!

Three times a charm. His eyes go wide like a fish as he winces, rubbing his cheek.

"Ow." You frown, looking at your brightening skin. It burns. "That hurt."

It's quiet for a good moment as you contemplate your next move, the metallic taste of adrenaline staining the roof of your mouth and tongue. You haven't felt this in five years. It's so familiar, yet so foreign that it becomes difficult to deal with, to process as millions of thoughts and strategies run in circles around your mind. Gojo's small pants and breaths are the last thing on your mind as your eyes dart around the rooftop.

Now what? You ask yourself, watching as he slowly re-composes himself, stretching back up. There are so many possibilities, however, they're all quick to flee the confinement of your mind when your eyes meet with his trembling ones.

"You're done having fun?" He breathes, looking back at you with a wide smile and a bruised cheek. "Already?"

Oh. If you weren't in trouble before, then you were really in trouble now. He's got you right where he wants you, cornered, trapped against a wall, saving up his energy for something more. That smile of his stretches throughout his face, teeth almost grinding together, akin to a predator eyeing it's prey. Eventually, that disturbing stretch reaches his eyes as your legs practically turn into jelly, slightly jittering as he laughs to himself, the sound echoing and dissipating into the cold, frigid air.

Run. You must run.

"Uh.. uh.." You sputter, eyes darting from him to the rest of the rooftop. "I..."

You slap him again, wincing as you run for your life. Your hand burns. It burns so bad that you're dreaming of the damn ice pack the school nurse would give you for your weekly tummy aches. You try to push further, the muscles of your legs straining and squeezing every bit of energy left in you.

Unfortunately, a forty hour work week exhausts you, wrings you dry of any sort of life. Your feet begin to drag against the concrete floors of the rooftop, as if the Gods already decided on your eventual demise days ago. Your steps and strides fight with the air instead of working with it, the ice-cold air entering and exiting the burn of your throat at an unusual pace.

"Hey. Where are you going?" His voice is low, predatory, awfully close. Your lungs clench for any source of oxygen, and your physical incompetence – if it wasn't before – finally catches up to you now.

Your hair sticks to the sweaty mess that is your forehead, strands slapping against your stinging face, chest crying as it rises and falls. Knees cracking as they bend, every inch of you pulsating along with your feverous heartbeat.

You have no clue where Gojo is, and a string of spit escapes your lips as you pant like a dog, weakly wiping off the filth.

"Come on now. We were just getting started on the fun."

"You sick freak, none of this is fucking fun, you–"

You hiss, teeth clenching together.

You feel a tug at your lower half, and then it only grows harsher from there on out.

"Hey, you–" You huff, voice cracking when you lose your balance.

He's underneath you, twisting and turning your ankles. It's impossible to stand still, each twist and turn more violent than the last.

You shriek.

Maybe, maybe that was the most blood curdling scream of your life as his fingers clasp around your bones, twisting and turning them like some sort of bop-it toy. Relentless as he lets out a psychotic laugh.

"What's wrong, huh? You were so confident earlier, weren't you?" Another yank, one that throws you off your feet and knocks the air out of you. If you ever had any to begin with.

Then you fall back, keeling over on the rooftop, curling in on yourself as the pain continues. The adrenaline wears off as your shoulders thud against the floor.

"P-please.." You gasp, feeling a force tighten around your skin. He crouches before you, lightly turning your jaw as he examines the sheer agony he's caused.

You're weaker than he's remembered.

"Don't worry, they'll work just fine– your feet and legs, I mean."

"That's not what I–"

You let out another airy gasp, tears welling in your eye sockets. It hurts. You cry like a baby waiting on it's mother.

"Ah, ah!" You roll around on the ground, bringing your knees up to your chest. "S-satoru, I'm sorry. I lost, I– Fuck!"

He slides his glasses back on with a tut, frowning at the sight. He almost feels sorry for you. Then he remembers that you've brought this upon yourself. Poor you. Boo hoo. Cry him a river.

"That's right." He hums along to your cries, poking a finger into the heart of your forehead with each word. "You lost, which means..."

You feel the inside of your brain crack, it's so terrifying that you cry out, you wail out the answer.

"Fuck, fuck, the wishes!" You roll around, rock around the ground as if you're being sung a lullaby. "I'll do anything, so just– shit, just..."

He wastes no time, straightening his back as he gets up. You look more pathetic from a broader point of view, he decides.

"Alright." He sighs, as if winning was some sort of chore for him.

He'll try his best to be gentle with you from now on.

You're so weak.

"Number one, you'll show me around here. I gave up my vacation days to be here for one week, work free. Don't waste my precious time, got it?"

"Wait, but I don't have the money for that. No! I can't, I–"

He presses the toe of his shoe against your forehead and you sputter into another gasp, breath hitching as your eyes roll back.

"I'll wire you the reimbursement."

You brain, if you even had one to begin with because what idiot would willingly lose to Gojo Satoru, has completely shattered into a million pieces.

"O-okay.." Your voice breaks as you hold your knees tighter. "Satoru!"

Hm. You only want to say his name when you're crumbling beneath his feet. How funny.

"Two, you'll provide me with housing."

"No. I refuse–"

You gasp like a fish out of water.

"O-okay! Fuck, shit, fine! Fine! I will! Live with me, please!" You can't believe the sheer amount of nonsense that just pours out of you.

"Good."

He doesn't mention the third wish. However, you don't have the brain capacity for it to hold any significance as you rock and roll against the ground, choking on your own spit as you holler like the cat from Tom and Jerry.

"Satoru," You whine, a pitiful one that rings and disperses into the air. "S-satoru."

"What?"

"It hurts."

You turn over, and he's almost jilted. The sight of your tears is something he doesn't expect as they stain your cheeks, hot and thick as they land.

For a moment, the word "sorry" ghosts over his lips. He refrains, the words "I hate you," tickling the rims of his eardrums.

Instead, he goes down to you, raising up a finger as you scramble across the ground in fear. You scoot back with your legs, kicking against the ground like a helpless puppy.

"N-no, Satoru, I said, I said... I.. sorry–"

He flicks his nails against the heart of your forehead.

"Calm down. You'll be fine."

The last thing you see as your eyes slowly blink is the image of Gojo Satoru towering over you, removing his jacket. You think about tripping him, but your body fails you. As it always has.

"I hate you." You croak as possibly your last words escape your lips.

Then you knock out, cold as you lie against the ground.

...

#fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #ao3 tags #archive of our own #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu sorcerer #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #eventual smut #eventual romance #romance

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gamesoflevitation · 1 year ago

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I <3 a music company taking music leaks away from us because in a hypothetical timeline where they were released (which we aren’t in) we would be buying them instead (which we’d all be willing to do but we’re not allowed to) so they’re theoretically losing money over this. And all from an artist who has encouraged pirating his music Capitalism kills art

LITERALLY!!! And if right now, or in 10 years, or whenever, the powers that be decide that they wanna officially put out these songs in like a unreleased compilation album or something, I can’t imagine that these leaks rn would even hurt their sales. also also deep deep down in my heart I know that it is due to the commercialization of music that a lot of these songs didn’t make the cut to be on main albums in the first place.

It makes me so mad that these songs aren’t as easily accessible now as they were literally yesterday AND there are already other channels re-posting them on YouTube now. I wonder if those channels will be targeted as well.

A couple months ago there was a song officially released by Lana Del Rey which has been unofficially posted all over YouTube for years called Say Yes To Heaven. In the months leading up to the song officially being released, the YouTube videos were all targeted and removed. This kinda gave the fanbase an idea that the song was going to be officially released and it shortly thereafter was. HOWEVER, in the case of Panic!, who just announced the end of the band like 6 months ago, I don’t think there’s any real chance of them putting out an unreleased album at any point soon??? I think it is way too quick of a turnaround. So I really genuinely think that through and through this is just Warner or whoever being dicks and trying to make it so nobody ever hears these songs, at least not until they can make money off of it. ThE mArKEt iSn’T riGhT at the moment or whatever.

On top of that, Brendon used to play demos on stream occasionally which have never been officially released. Two unreleased Panic! songs are still in online circulation from being played in the House of Memories lounge during the PFTW tour cycles (Turn it Back Around and Stuck in the Middle). “Leaks” aren’t anything new.

But also there’s a google drive I have access to with all the recent panic! leaks in them if you want :)

#anon you went off #sorry about the wall of text #panic! at the disco

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publicuniversalenemy · 2 years ago

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I just wanted to pop back to this post with a little bit of info RE: ‘skin tone’ as it used in prehospital emergency care now that I’m nearing the end of my first term of EMT training. so, as far as I’ve been taught, when checking for things like cyanosis or jaundice (or pallor or flushing or anything else), you’re supposed to check the places where we’re ALL (supposed to be) pink - on the inside! so, ideally you want to be checking in the conjunctiva of the eyes and the oral mucosa.

if for some reason you can’t do that, then move on to the lips, and, failing that, to the nailbeds, palms, and soles of the feet. these places are not as universal for the reasons discussed above - melanin content of the skin does play a role in presentation, so resources like the above mentioned book are incredibly important to familiarize yourself with.

another big reason that the conjunctiva and oral mucosa should be your first stop in an emergency situation where you suspect hypoxia: they are central locations. if you have shit circulation and perfusion to your extremities, yeah, there’s gonna be tissue damage long-term, and it sure as hell isn’t ideal, but you can survive for quite some time as long as you have circulation and perfusion maintained in your core. however, you will die very very quickly if you lose circulation/perfusion to your core (including head, because that’s where your brain is, and without that you’re kinda really fucked).

tldr: in an emergency, when determining whether the patient is cyanotic, you wanna check a central location where tissue is universally supposed to be pink: this means the conjunctiva of the eyes and the oral mucosa.

Public service announcement.

Blue/purple lips and fingernails is a symptom of low oxygen in lighter skin tones.

In darker skin tones you're looking for grey or white lips and fingernails. Other places where this may be not evidence is the tongue and gums.

Figured since everyone gets taught what low oxygen looks like on lighter skin. Everyone should know what it looks like on dark skin too.

-fae

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historyhermann · 2 years ago

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Kaisa's defense: Are patrons who borrow books, liable to return them?

Kaisa gets annoyed with the committee of Three Witches

Happy Book Lovers' Day! On December 16, 2020, I submitted a post to I Love Libraries about Kaisa, the recurring librarian in the animated series, Hilda, titled "Witches, patrons, and the value of libraries in Netflix's Hilda," and included a section, where Kaisa argues that the "person who borrowed the book is liable for its return," with the obligation passed from the librarian to the patron, while the witches say SHE is the one responsible. While this was included in the final article, which was published on January 8, 2021, and re-titled "The Mysterious Librarian in Netflix's "Hilda" Finally Gets a Name," it was worded differently, [1] and I didn't explore it in-depth. So I'll re-examine that part of the episode and note its implications more broadly in terms of relations between librarians and patrons, and the ever-present problem of missing books from libraries.

This post is reprinted from Pop Culture Library Review and Wayback Machine.

In the episode "Chapter 3: The Witch," Kaisa comes before three witches who govern the tower and they tell her that she must return a book missing from the library for almost 30 years! She challenges this, saying that the person who borrowed the book is liable for its return, passing off the obligation from the librarian to the patron. The witches remind her of her responsibilities and say that if she does not find the book, she will be cast into the void! While librarians obviously are not cast into the void for misplaced books, the episode is right to highlight the problem of missing books and how librarians solve this problem. Later, Kaisa reveals why she had not tried to return the book until now: she was embarrassed that she could not use the right spell to find the book. They later return with the book and Tildy pleads with the witches to not punish them, the void of no return is unintentionally opened, trapping Kaisa, Hilda, and Frida.

The question at the title of this post still itches my brain: Are patrons who borrow books, liable to return them? Some on /r/Libraries and /r/librarians have shared that they give students who fail to return a book a warning, the terrible condition of returned books(which is kinda funny to read), stolen/lost book, and lending to the wrong person. Others shared the return of missing items, horrible patrons, weird sense of guilt when checking out books, getting patrons to return their books, presenting photo IDs to check out books, and libraries that give anyone a library card. [2] One of the most interesting discussions was one on /r/asklibrarians where librarians responded as to how a librarian could cover up a theft:

...Books disappear all the time. Depends on if the library uses any security measures like RFID tags...Here are a few ideas: Checking the book out to another user. Marking it as lost under that other users identity. Checking the book in but just taking it. Makes it appear lost in the shelves. Simply taking the book through an employee entrance with no security gates. Or simply desensitizing the security strip and walking the book out the front door. Or you can purge the user from the system making them not exist. Assuming a modern library, the librarian could alter the records if they had the right circulation authorizations. In most cases, there is likely to be an audit trail, but no one is likely to be looking for that unless alerted to the possibility that someone did that. Someone with the right IT privileges for the circulation software, could probably alter those audit trails as well.

In some ways, Kaisa may have done this when not getting the book back from Tildy. She probably as had to deal with those who return books with "illegal drugs, water damage, urine odors, cigarette burns, coffee stains, fecal matter, roaches, or peanut butter globs," those who have tried to argue that they don't need to pay library fines, while dealing with account issues, checking out books, and other tasks. [3] As one librarian put it, not only can the length of a loan period " have a big impact on staff workload and patron satisfaction with a library," but overdue materials are an issue "because they are not available to other library users" while fines lead to the perception that overdue fines allows the library to function and buy materials.

In fact, many libraries spend a lot of money and time "attempting to retrieve overdue materials and collect various fines," meaning these fines represent "a drop in the bucket for library revenues" and saying that while overdue fines may "provide some incentive for returning materials" some studies have shown they are "not a significant deterrent to the ultimate return of items. Libraries can also collect fines on lost and damaged materials or lost library identification cards, which are meant to " replace or repair the material...plus a processing fee," while it was said that there "should be some flexibility with overdue policies." It has also been said that if a book is lost, then a fine should be collected, while for a missing book, "the library does not know where the item is." [4]

The same librarian urged library personnel to be "familiar with registration procedures and be prepared to answer questions about the library’s services and resources," and to have specific "procedures for dealing with security and medical emergencies and all staff should be thoroughly familiar with them." This connects with the mission of a librarian to not only handling books, but books themselves serving a vital function, and the responsibility of the library to "adjust the time allotted for the patron to have the item to ensure it reaches the originating library on time." It was also said that librarians should take into account copyright, freedom of information, privacy, duty of care, censorship, and confidentiality which assisting a patron. [5]

Committee of Witches annoyed with Kaisa

When it comes to actual libraries, there appears to be agreement with the idea that patrons who borrow books are liable to return them. In fact, of library policies I read, there was a consensus that patrons are responsible for book replacement, returning books on time (late books hinder ability of other patrons to use book), have to pay for damaged or lost materials, and responsible for books they have checked out under their name. [6] Some librarians even said that those who abuse privileges may be banned from interlibrary loan, holds placed on their student accounts, suspension of borrowing privileges, or being reported to a collection agency. [7]

There were libraries which laid out their responsibilities even more clearly. Some said they had the "responsibility of ensuring the availability of materials for the use of the community," but that the person who borrows materials is responsible for materials borrowed and "agrees to return them in good condition and by the date they are due." Others absolved the library from "liability, damages, or expense" from misuse of library devices, library materials, and asserted that librarians are responsible for renewing and returning items, with fees imposed if items are not returned. However, in some cases, librarians had the discretion to stop or restrict loans of materials or the ability to waive fines, charges, or fees in cases of hardship. [8]

Kaisa stands by her view that patrons who borrow books are liable to return them, while the witches say it should be the library's responsibility after a book is overdue for 30 years. If this was the real world, the responsibility of the patron would likely still be emphasized, but at that point, the library would have declared the book "lost" and probably charged the patron a fee for the lost book. Kaisa does not do that as she knows exactly who has the book, but she doesn't want to take responsibility for getting the book back, not at first.

The answer to the question, are patrons who borrow books, liable to return them, is generally yes, but that does not justify patrons being treated in such a way that they are heavily penalized with fines which discourage them from borrowing from a library. It is certainly a "wonderful surprise" that Kaisa is the keeper of the books, i.e. the librarian who, with the help of Hilda and Frida, was able to convince an old lady to return a book. An impressive feat, you could say.

Notes

[1] Worded as "the person who borrowed the book is responsible for it and the witches threaten to cast her into a void if she cannot locate the lost item."

[2] See the "checking out books" (Nov. 2018), "Librarians: What's the worst condition someone has returned a book?" (Apr. 2014), "Most stolen book at your library" (Jul. 2018),"I (accudentally) lent a book to someone who is NOT authorized to use the library. What to do?" (Jun. 2020), "Lots of (probably) missing items were returned!" (Nov. 2020), "Horrible Patrons: CoVid Edition" (Feb. 2021), "I'm struggling with a weird sense of guilt when checking books out now, it's very irrational" (Sept. 2021), "Academic librarians: strategies for getting checked out books back from faculty?" (Mar. 2017), "Violating the spirit of the policy but not the letter of it..." (May 2017), "I think one of our patrons is a hoarder, and he isn't returning our books." (Aug. 2018), "Borrowing Policy Inquiry" (Dec. 2016), "Borrowing Out of Town" (Jun. 2016).

[3] See K.W. Colyard, "How To Piss Off Your Local Librarian," Bustle, Jul. 16, 2015; Oleg Kagan, "Day in the Life: Reference Librarian at a Public Library," Every Library, Nov. 29, 2017.

[4] "Basic library procedures: Circulation functions," Living in the Library World, Dec. 18, 2008; "Basic library procedures: Library inventory," Living in the Library World, Jan. 18, 2009.

[5] See "Circulation of nonbook materials," Living in the Library World, Dec. 28, 2008; "Circulation's role in security," Living in the Library World, Dec. 28, 2008; "Basic library procedures: Processing library materials," Living in the Library World, Jan. 7, 2009; "Library co-operation, interlibrary loan and document delivery," Living in the Library World, Jan. 25, 2010; "Ethics," Living in the Library World, Nov. 22, 2010.

[6] "Library Policies," Galveston College, accessed October 3, 2021; "Loan Periods," Richard E. Bjork Library at Stockton University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Overdue Materials," Richard E. Bjork Library at Stockton University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Lost/Damaged Item," Richard E. Bjork Library at Stockton University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Outside Borrowers," University Libraries of University of Georgia, accessed October 3, 2021; "Circulation Policies," Princeton University Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrow," Pitts Theology Library at Emory University, accessed October 3, 2021;

"Library," Caswell County, NC, accessed October 3, 2021; "Interlibrary Loan Borrowing and Document Delivery Services," University of North Texas University Libraries, accessed October 3, 2021; "Library Fines and Fees," New York Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Library Policies, Guidelines and Procedures: Lost or Damaged Materials," Calvin T. Ryan Library, University of Nebraska Kearney, accessed October 3, 2021; "Step by Step – Billing Patrons and Libraries for Lost Books in Horizon," Clinton-Essex-Franklin Library System, accessed October 3, 2021; "Loan Periods and Fines," Pasadena Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Studio Use Policy," Pikes Peak Library District, Sept. 2019; "Interlibrary Loan (ILL)," SRSU Library & Archives, accessed October 3, 2021;

"Policies," Proctor Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrow Materials," E.H. Butler Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "InterLibrary Loan (ILL)," Osceola Library System, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing/Circulation," SCSU Research Guides at Southern Connecticut State University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Library Policies," Orange Coast College, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing and Renewals," Marriott Library, University of Utah, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrow," UC Berkeley Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing," Hawai'i Pacific University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Fine Free Library," San Francisco Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "FAQ : Interlibrary Loan," Smithsonian Libraries, accessed October 3, 2021; "Checkout Periods and Protocols," Fulton Library, Utah Valley University, accessed October 3, 2021 (discussed secondary borrowers); "Borrow, Renew & Return," Georgia Tech Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing Policies," Stewart B. Land Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing Materials," Memorial Library of Nazereth & Vicinity," accessed October 3, 2021; "Hennepin County Library goes fine-free," Hennepin County Library, Mar. 9, 2021; "Borrow Items," Charleston County Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021;

"Interlibrary Loan," Omaha Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Book Club in a Bag," Southeast Regional Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Interlibrary Loan," Kenton County Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Pageturners To Go," Multnomah Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Remote Delivery," UW-Madison Libraries, accessed October 3, 2021; "Library," Thesophical Society of America, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing Privileges," Penn State University Libraries, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing Materials," Circulation Services, Research Guides at Broward College, accessed October 3, 2021; "Prince William libraries are now fine-free," InsideNOVA, Jul. 7, 2021; "Your Library Account," Boulder Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Services - Libraries," LibGuides at St. Joseph's College New York, accessed October 3, 2021;

"Nevada State College Interlibrary Loan," Nevada State College, accessed October 3, 2021; "Get a Library Card," Laurel County Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "InterLibrary Loan," Queens College Libraries, accessed October 3, 2021; "Bradley Library eliminates late fees," Daily Journal, Sept. 9, 2021; "Library," Amridge University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Checkout Privileges," BYU Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Using the Library," Linda Hall Library, accessed October 3, 2021; Borrowing from CSN Libraries," CSN Libraries, accessed October 3, 2021; "Interlibrary Loan (ILL)," Texas State Library and Archives Commission, accessed October 3, 2021; "Borrowing Library materials," Simon Fraser University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Library of Things: Home," LibGuides at Milton Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021;

"Onsite Borrowing Program," OCLC Research, accessed October 3, 2021; "Welcome to Your Library," Grand Rapids Public Library, accessed October 3, 2021; "Frequently Asked Questions," El Dorado County Library, accessed October 3, 2021; Liam Griffin, "Libraries Become Fine-Free In July In Prince William County," Manassas, VA, accessed October 3, 2021; "Circulation," Mary and John Gray Library, Lamar University, accessed October 3, 2021; "Prince William Public Libraries to Go Fine-Free Beginning July 1," Jul. 2021, accessed October 3, 2021; "James. E. Walker Library," Middle Tennessee State University, accessed October 3, 2021 (mentions proxy borrowers); "Interlibrary Loan (ILL)," University of Idaho Library, accessed October 3, 2021.

#hilda librarian #hilda #white women #patrons #books #borrowing #library users #library patrons #libraries #rfid #reddit

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tobesolonely · 4 years ago

Text

aura

A/n: Hi everyone! this is a tad bit different from the things i usually write (I think) as i wanted to switch things up a little bit. I’m kinda nervous to post it so pleaseee please let me know your thoughts! As always please enjoy!! thank you to everyone who beta read for me btw :)

summary: witch!y/n can see auras and harry is blue

my ko-fi! thank you :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N has always been able to easily empathize with others. She could see others' emotional energy— their aura— and this made it easy to know exactly what they were feeling. Not only could she see auras, but she could take away anyone’s emotional turmoil just by touching them.

One of Y/N’s most vivid memories from her childhood was when her best friend came to school one morning in tears over the death of her pet fish. When Y/N leaned in to give her a hug, she felt an overwhelming heaviness overtake her body as soon as they made contact. Upon pulling away from the hug, her friend’s demeanor was completely changed. Instead of being sad over the death of her fish, she was able to instead reflect on all the good times she had with him. Her friend was fine for the rest of the day, but Y/N was left grieving over a fish she never even owned.

Y/N went home that day, confused. How was it that her friend was so easily cheered up just from a hug? Was that all it took for Y/N to make others feel better? If that was the case, she decided she wanted to be a ‘Professional Hugger’ when she grew up. As time went on, Y/N learned that she didn’t even have to hug others to rid them of their mental pain. The slightest touch from her instantly made anyone she came into contact with feel better.

It took a few months for Y/N to realize it was her touch that healed others. Sure, that mental anguish then became hers to carry, but how many people could say they could heal someone just by touching them? If that was the price she had to pay, then so be it. From that point on Y/N made it a point to help anyone she could.

As Y/N got older and her skill with this power grew, she learned to redirect the painful energy elsewhere so she didn’t always have to sit with it. It worked some of the time, but it was something she was still learning to master. Y/N wasn’t always successful in doing this, though. While whoever Y/N touched went about their day feeling great, she would experience their emotions so intensely that she felt as if she were coming down with a cold. Y/N dealt with it in silence because the way she saw it if she was blessed with this gift, she had to be selfless and put it to good use. Y/N was a firm believer that all the good she put out would come back to her in another life at least ten times over.

It was difficult for Y/N not to touch everyone she saw whose aura reflected sadness, anxiety, or worry. She tried to stick to only doing this to people she knew, but there were some instances where Y/N encountered someone who was just so clearly unhappy that she could not help herself.

For example, right now.

Y/N immediately sensed this stranger’s emotional turmoil as soon as they entered the space. It was late afternoon on a Wednesday. Y/N had the longest, most physically demanding day at work and the last thing she wanted to do was go home and cook. Even though she had just gone grocery shopping two days prior, she stopped by her favorite Thai place on the way home. Y/N was in the middle of ordering when their presence quite literally took her breath away, causing her to stumble over her words.

She turned to look over her shoulder at the person who was so greatly distracting her and locked eyes with the most pitiful looking stranger she’d seen all day. The first thing Y/N noticed about him was his hair. It was unruly, like he had just gotten out of bed. She also noticed how tall he was–– if he had just a couple more inches on him, he would’ve had to crane his neck to enter the establishment. Upon making eye contact with Y/N the man quickly looked down at his shoes, twiddling his thumbs. His aura was a mixture of indigo and dark red when Y/N looked at him. Anger and sensitivity.

“Do you still need a moment?”

The voice of the cashier breaks Y/N out of her analytical thoughts of the stranger standing a few feet behind her. She nods, re-situating her purse on her left shoulder.

“Uh, please. He can go ahead if he’s ready.” Y/N gestures behind her and the cashier nods, asking the man behind her if he was ready to order yet. He steps up to the front counter, eyes trained on his feet as if he couldn’t walk without watching every step he took.

His energy was intense and Y/N wasn’t sure how much longer she could ignore it. Something about him was reeling her in— his aura wasn’t looking too bright at the moment, but she could just tell it usually was. She felt compelled to take away his pain, and she hadn’t spoken a single word to him yet. While he was placing his order, Y/N internally debated on whether or not she should “accidentally” graze his arm when they walked past each other. Would that be weird? What if she wasn’t able to redirect his negative energy elsewhere? While she did love to help whenever she could, some people’s emotional baggage was just a little too heavy. She didn’t know him. For all she knew, he could be a killer!

He turns back around once he’s finished ordering and stands by the entrance, out of Y/N’s way. The pair lock eyes again as Y/N makes her way back to the counter to order. Once again, he quickly looked away from her. Y/N’s trying to ignore the annoying nagging feeling she gets when she wants to help someone, but it’s unrelenting. She makes up her mind that once she’s done, she will approach this stranger to get a better read on his emotions.

“Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it?” She cringes at her choice of a conversation starter and hopes he doesn’t notice. Y/N folds her hands across her chest, forcing herself not to reach out to him. He nods.

“Lovely.”

The tone of his voice causes Y/N to wince. It was sharp and short. He was clearly not in the mood to converse. Although Y/N knows this, she continues on.

“I love this place. I think I come here at least twice a month–– what’s your go-to order?”

The man turns to fully face Y/N this time, his aura now more red than blue. He was beginning to grow annoyed with her small talk.

“Green curry and stir-fried vegetables.” He doesn’t ask Y/N for her order, so she takes this as her signal to stop speaking to him. The bell above the door jingles, signaling another persons’ entry. Their aura is shining gold–– Y/N would not have to interfere.

Y/N moves away from this man, deciding not to speak to him anymore. She was getting better at accepting the fact that no matter how much she wanted to, it was impossible to help everyone. As he collected his food from the front and turned to leave, not sparing Y/N another glance, she silently hoped that whatever was wrong with this man would not last.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry was in a funk. There was no denying it, and he was over feeling so terribly. He hadn’t been feeling like himself for far too long. It seemed like everyone wanted something from him when he had nothing left to give. Jeff had set unrealistic deadlines, his mother was upset with him for not calling enough, and he was exhausted from constantly traveling and waking up in a new time zone. Harry needed a break.

Harry’s mind wandered to the pretty girl in the Thai place. She seemed inquisitive. She was very curious about his go-to order, and she was standing a little too close for his comfort. Harry was surprised when she didn’t ask him for a picture. He wasn’t trying to be cocky, but nearly everyone he met asked him for a picture–– he was Harry Styles. However, it was almost like this girl didn’t know who he was. She didn’t seem starstruck in the slightest.

While Harry was waiting for the light to change, it dawned on him that he may have been a tad bit rude to her. He noticed her happy expression drop when he shut her down, but he didn’t feel like talking. He liked to move from place to place as quickly as he could in the off chance he got recognized and it started circulating on Twitter. Still, he couldn’t help feeling a little bad. She was sweet like honey–– or so it seemed. In their brief interaction, she bought him comfort.

Harry wanted to turn back around and go back to the restaurant to check if she was still there. What would be the point, though? She would most likely be long gone by the time he made it back over there, as she did order immediately after him. Harry’s torn out of his thoughts when the cars behind him start honking, and he realizes the light must’ve turned green. He decides not to think about the confrontation anymore.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The world works in mysterious ways.

Y/N was sure she’d never encounter the grumpy man from her favorite Thai restaurant again but yet here she was in another situation that involved take-out and him. His aura was dark indigo this time. Stress? Isolation? Y/N didn’t know, but she wanted to help him. In her eyes, there was no reason for anyone to be down this badly. She just wanted everyone to be as happy as she (almost) always was! She takes a deep breath before approaching him.

“Hi. How are you?”

Harry was absorbed in a text conversation involving his manager and stylist when a sweet, familiar voice interrupts him.

“I’m okay, thank you. Yourself? Also, we’ve spoken before, I believe.”

She nods, a troubled look on her face. “We have. At the Thai place. How are you, though? Really.”

Harry was beginning to find her a bit strange (but still incredibly gorgeous, even more than he did before now that he got a good look at her face). Why was she so concerned with how he was feeling? Was she going to ask him for a picture or not? As Harry opened his mouth to again tell her he was fine, the desire to tell her how he was really feeling came over him. So he did.

“Honestly? ‘M exhausted. I’ve been doing a lot of traveling and my manager wants a lot from me. I think I jus’ need a break.”

He radiated red. Anxiety? Anger?

“What do you do for work?” Now it was Harry’s turn to wear the troubled look.

“I don’t mean this to be rude, but you’re serious?”

Y/N nods, reaching out to place her hand on his shoulder. Just as quickly as she touches him she removes her hand, and she’s almost certain he didn’t even feel her touch. She notices him let out a visible sigh of relief, his aura changing from a red to a pale yellow. Optimism. Positivity. This causes her to let out her own sigh of relief.

“You’re feeling better! That’s great.” Y/N was not able to redirect his negative energy as the restaurant was too crowded and she didn’t want to risk putting it on anyone else, and she was feeling him. He was stressed, overworked, and anxious. Y/N just wanted to go home and nap, no longer in the mood for the food she just ordered.

Harry decided she was definitely odd but in the most endearing way possible. “How do you know I’m feeling better? Wait, am I feeling better?” Y/N watches as he works through his emotions, his aura ranging in color before settling back on pale yellow.

“Are you?” Y/N knows the answer to this of course, but she wants to hear him say it.

“I think I am. I’ve been feelin’ horrible all week but saying how I felt out loud to you automatically made me feel better. Kind of weird, but I won’t question it. Thank you for asking…,” Harry scrunches his nose, a distasteful expression on his face. “I don’t think ‘ve gotten your name yet.”

Y/N gives him a small, forced smile. “I’m Y/F/N Y/L/N. It’s nice to meet you. I’ll be seeing you around, I think.” Before Harry can tell her his name she’s gone.

And she didn’t even grab her food.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N felt like she had been hit by a ton of bricks. How one person could carry around all this emotional baggage was beyond her, but she wanted it gone. Immediately.

There was a spell Y/N kept on hand for times like these. Times when she couldn’t redirect the negative energy before it got to her. Times when it was just too much to carry. Y/N had regretfully done this spell more times than she could count and was an expert at reciting it from memory. The vile was open and ready to capture the negative energy that would shortly be leaving her.

Y/N works quickly to complete the process, unsure of what time her roommate would come barreling through the door. She had caught her doing things she deemed strange one too many times (she thought her roommate almost figured out who she really was when she caught her having a full-on conversation with her cat, Sapphire, once). She was beginning to run out of excuses for her “unusual” behavior. Y/N mutters under her breath, willing the energy to exit her.

She notices right away when it leaves her. She feels lighter— like her usual self again. She guides the energy into the vile and immediately seals it, hurrying into her room to lock it away. Y/N kept a box in her closet that she only opened if she had to. It was her Pandora’s Box, in a way. Nothing bad would be released into the world if she opened the box, but if the viles’ were opened then the bad energy she trapped would be re-released into the world, finding its way back to their original owners.

Y/N feels like she can breathe again once she bolts the box. She hoped that whatever he was doing, wherever this man was, he was still feeling okay.

Also, for his sake and everyone’s around him, she hoped he got a break.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N was on Harry’s mind.

Something about her was magnetic. He wished he’d gotten more information about her than only her name, but she left him in such a hurry he could hardly process their conversation. Harry felt like a madman! He searched ‘Y/F/N Y/L/N’ on all social media platforms, but he couldn’t find her anywhere. It was dumb luck that he had ran into her twice in such a short time span, and he hoped good things happened in threes and he would see her again.

He was almost certain that Jeff thought he was losing his mind.

Harry tried explaining his interaction with Y/N first at the Thai food spot and again when he was getting Greek food, but Jeff thought Harry was so sleep deprived he was imagining things.

“How did you see a beautiful, young woman who didn’t freak out or ask for a picture? Doesn’t make sense. You’re Harry Styles.”

“That’s what I thought!” Harry exclaimed wildly. He holds his phone up. “I’m thinkin’ she really doesn’t know who I am, though. I couldn’t find her on any social media platform. It’s like she’s off the grid or somethin’.”

“No social media at all? A little weird, isn’t it?”

“It’s fitting for her. If you met her then you would understand what I meant,” Harry felt the need to defend this alluring stranger who took away his pain just by listening to him speak. “Look at me, Jeff. Don’t I seem so much better than I was jus’ a few days ago?”

His manager couldn’t deny that Harry’s mood (and attitude) had done a 360. He didn’t complain about being woken up early and he happily consented to do not one, but two interviews.

“I mean, yeah? I guess––”

“Thanks to her!” Harry cuts him off. “I’m telling you. I need to see her again and thank her for whatever she did.”

“How are you going to do that?”

Harry leaned back against the counter in Jeff’s kitchen, mulling the question over. It was a valid one. How was he going to do that? He already tried to no avail to find her on social media. He hardly knew anything about her. All he knew was her name, that they seemed to have a similar taste in food, and that she went to the Thai spot at least two times a month.

That was it.

In one last effort to contact Y/N again, Harry planned to go to the Thai food place, pray the cashier who was working when he went in earlier this week was there, and leave his number with her. It was a risky move, probably not the smartest thing he could do, and Jeff would for sure drop him as a client if he knew Harry was doing things like this. Harry didn’t care. Phone numbers could always be changed, and he was desperate.

If Harry couldn’t contact Y/N, he would wait for her to contact him.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N was confused.

She stopped at her favorite Thai food spot (sooner in the month than anticipated, but she had another long day), ordered her usual, and was about to leave when the sweet cashier who was always there insisted she takes the piece of paper with ‘HARRY’ followed by a phone number scrawled on it.

“For me?” Y/N was confused. Something like this had never happened to her before. I mean, does it happen to anyone?

“He insisted,” the cashier warmly responds. “I’ve been waiting for you to come back–– knew you would soon enough.” Y/N’s face flushes at this and she makes a mental note to start cooking more.

“Well…,” Y/N trails off, not sure what to say. “Thank you? I guess I’ll give him a call and let him know you’ve done well.” The cashier’s aura shines pink. Affection. Love.

“You should. Take care!”

Y/N leaves the restaurant with the crumpled piece of paper in her sweaty hands, eager to get home as soon as possible. She wasn’t sure what it was, but something told her not to disregard him. His reaching out was a sign–– and Y/N did not ignore signs.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“She hasn’t called me yet.”

“It’s been five days, Harry. She probably doesn’t eat Thai food every day. I can’t believe you did something so fuckin’ stupid…”

Jeff’s reprimanding fades into the background as Harry drifts off into daydreaming about what it would be like if– when- Y/N finally called him. Would she find him obsessed? What if she thought he was stalking her? Harry decided that when she called, he would immediately clear things up. He’d thank her for her kindness (his trademark) and see how she was doing. She left the Greek food place so abruptly when he last saw her that he was under the impression something was bothering her. Harry wasn’t sure what he could do to help if something was troubling her, but he could at least extend a listening ear to her as she did to him.

“Harry, are you listening?”

“What was that?”

Jeff shakes his head at Harry, an amused expression on his face. “Man, I hope she calls you soon.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

The phone rang three times. After the third ring, his gruff voice came through the other end of the phone.

“Hello?”

Y/N sharply inhales, suddenly growing nervous. “Is this Harry?” Silence. Y/N was preparing to repeat herself when he spoke again.

“Is this Y/N?”

Now it’s Y/N’s turn to be silent. Harry says nothing, awaiting her response. “Well, it is. You sound familiar–– how do we know each other?”

“Now that ’m actually able to talk to you, it sounds a bit silly…” He seems unsure of himself. “Promise y’won’t laugh at me?”

“I promise.”

Y/N says it with such conviction that Harry believes her, and it gives him the confidence he needs to proceed. “I was havin’ a hard time a couple of weeks ago. I was in line to get some falafel and you asked me what was wrong. What was really wrong.” Y/N says nothing, so Harry continues.

“I told you I was exhausted from work ‘nd wanted a break. That’s it, y’know? But I immediately felt better afterward. I’ve actually been feelin’ great ever since. I jus’ wanted to thank you, is all. I know it sounds weird and it’s probably all in m’head but I feel like talkin’ with you was just what I needed.” Harry’s rambling, nerves finally catching up to him. She was gorgeous and he was afraid she would think he was insane.

“I’m glad to hear you’re still feeling better, Harry. That’s great.” Y/N’s voice is gentle and soft and to Harry, hearing her speak was just as comforting as getting a hug from his mum.

“I’m also really sorry that I was such a dick when you tried talkin’ to me the first time at the Thai spot,'' Harry feels embarrassed, stumbling over his words. “Not sure if you remember but I was just havin’ a shit day. I thought you were gonna ask for a picture and I just wasn’t in the mood.”

Y/N doesn’t say anything and Harry winces, certain he’s offended her when she starts talking again.

“That’s okay. I know you were having a bad day.”

“How did you know I was having a bad day?” Again, Y/N pauses before answering.

“Well, I didn’t do anything to you for you to be so rude to me. I knew it had to be a problem involving yourself.” Harry notices that Y/N speaks very slowly. It’s as if she considers every word before she speaks. He’s intrigued by her.

“That is very true.” Y/N doesn’t say anything so Harry takes it as his cue to keep talking. “I’m sorry if me leaving my number at the restaurant creeped you out. I hope you didn’t feel obligated to call me.”

“Not at all. I’ve actually been wondering how you were doing since we had our encounter at the Greek place–– that doesn’t creep you out either, right?”

Y/N was hypnotizing. Harry was infatuated.

“Not at all.”

“Can I ask you something, Harry?”

“Course.”

“Why would I want a picture with you?”

Harry had to get to know her.

“Do y’wanna grab coffee sometime?”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Something was definitely different about Y/N–– Harry just couldn’t put his finger on what it was. To begin, she truly had absolutely no idea who Harry was. At first, he thought she was just messing with him, but he quickly realized she was being serious. Y/N said she had “heard of” One Direction, but she never listened to the band’s music. Harry supposed that could account for her being unaware as to who he was. Maybe he wasn’t a “household name” like Jeff always said he was.

Harry was also right about her not having social media. When he asked Y/N why she didn’t use it, she said she preferred to occupy her time with more substantial things. She didn’t elaborate, and Harry didn’t ask. She was however very interested to learn what a big social media following Harry had. He tweeted the word “Do” and they watched as the internet went wild trying to decipher what he meant. He even started trending worldwide for it. It made sense to Y/N after that why Harry was so intent on not taking off his sunglasses and beanie.

Y/N was having a great time analyzing his aura.

She noticed that whenever someone glanced in their direction, his aura briefly turned red. Anxiety. When Y/N attempted to make a joke, it turned pink (she chose not to analyze that too much). Mainly though, his aura shone that beautiful, pale yellow that Y/N loved to see the most. Harry was doing well. He was happy. Y/N would not have to intervene today.

She couldn’t explain why, but she felt obligated to help him. Even though his energy made her feel so terribly last time, she would’ve still taken away his pain if he was blue without even thinking twice about it. Why was she so drawn to him? Y/N wasn’t sure what it was about Harry that drew her in, but she knew she would do anything to help him. Anything to see him happy.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, Harry felt the same way.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N missed Harry terribly.

She wanted to call him–– just a brief conversation to see if he was doing okay. He mentioned when they last saw each other nearly two weeks prior that he was going to be very busy in the coming days, and she wondered if he still was. Harry told Y/N that he loved his job (of course he did!), but being so busy sometimes really hurt him. Not just mentally, but physically as well.

She longed for him.

Y/N searched through her call list for Harry’s number and immediately tapped it, listening closely as it rang. She was about to end the call in defeat when Harry answered at the last moment.

“Hello?” He sounded tired, under the weather.

“Harry,” Y/N begins. “I haven’t heard from you in a bit and I just wanted to see if all was well. How do you feel?”

“Hi Y/N,” Harry perks up slightly, but he still sounds a bit congested. “‘M not sure if you can tell from m’voice, but I’ve got a cold.”

Although Y/N wishes with every fiber of her being that she could rid Harry of his cold, she cannot. However, she can make sure all is well with his mind.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she pauses for a moment as she usually does, hoping Harry can tell how sincere she’s being on the other end. “How do you feel though? Are you still feeling happy?”

“Jus’ feelin’ not the greatest again. I’ve been stuck in my house with this fuckin’ cold and haven’t seen anyone in days.”

“I can come over.” Y/N doesn’t think twice before offering. If he had to suffer physically, she at least wanted him to feel okay mentally.

“I don’t want to get you sick. It’s okay–”

“I don’t mind, really. I’ll keep you company.”

Harry doesn’t say anything and Y/N’s sure she must’ve creeped him out. They don’t even know each other well and here she was offering to come over to his home and keep him company while he was sick. She’s about to rescind her offer when he lets out a loud sigh.

“My manager might kill me if he finds out I did this… but sure, let me give you my address.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

As soon as Harry got off the phone, he sprung into action. His home was a mess. There were crumpled up tissues all over the floor beside his bed, a sink full of dishes, and he’s pretty sure every bathroom in his house was a mess. He opted to not have anyone over to clean up after him as he didn’t want to risk getting anyone sick and man did it show.

He quickly gathered up all the tissues and threw them into the bin in the corner of his bedroom, surveying the rest of the mess before deciding he and Y/N wouldn’t be spending time in there, anyway. He was going to focus on the mess downstairs, instead. He loaded his dishwasher and record time and used disinfectant wipes on every surface he could in the kitchen, dining room, and living room. He then surveyed the bathrooms and cleaned the one with the least amount of mess, closing the doors to the other ones. He would worry about those some other time.

Harry was nervous to have Y/N over. He was just nervous to be around her in general. He missed her over the past couple of weeks but he opted out of contacting her, terrified that he was a bother. After Harry finished cleaning in record time, it dawned on him that he didn’t really have any food prepared to offer Y/N. If she was coming over to his house just to cheer him up, the least he could do was offer her something to eat. Harry hated doing things like this, but he was desperate. He texted his assistant and asked if they could drop off some food from the Greek place he and Y/N liked, making a mental note to find out what other places she enjoyed eating at for next time.

Y/N gets to his house much sooner than he was anticipating.

He rushes to his front door, looking through the peephole before opening the door. Y/N has a big smile on her face and looks absolutely gorgeous, as she usually does. She has a huge water bottle in one hand and a tote bag with the phases of the moon slung over her shoulder. He’s never seen it before and thinks it’s lovely.

“Hi,” Harry says breathlessly. “Thanks for coming. Uh, come in please.”

Y/N smiles and takes a small step forward, crossing the threshold of Harry’s home. She thought it was incredible–– and rather clean. “What can I do to help?”

Harry was getting used to Y/N’s straightforward approach to things, so he’s not phased by her question. “Jus’ you bein’ here is great, honestly.”

Y/N can see that Harry’s aura is that deep indigo that she’s not fond of, but she wonders if he can work through it himself before she steps in. “So it’s just your cold that’s got you feeling down? Can we sit down and talk about it?”

“Sure. Also, not sure if you’ve eaten yet or not but I’m gettin’ some food dropped off for us.”

“That sounds great, I haven’t had dinner yet so thank you. Can we sit?” Y/N doesn’t wait for Harry to answer. She makes her way to his plush couch in the adjoining room, walking through the place like she’s been there before. Harry loves it.

“I think I told you the gist of it on the phone earlier,” Harry says, settling onto the couch beside her. He leaves some space in between them since he doesn’t want to risk getting her sick, but he wishes he was closer to her. “I’ve been feelin’ down ‘cause I’ve been stuck in the house with this cold. S’not fun.” Y/N hums in understanding. Harry notices that she reaches out her hand to him slightly and then quickly retracts it, but he doesn’t mention it. Y/N says nothing, just continues looking inquisitively at him. Harry doesn’t feel uncomfortable under her gaze–– he stares back.

“Something’s making you feel nervous. What is it?”

Harry isn’t surprised that she was able to figure out there was more to what he was feeling than just loneliness. How was he supposed to tell Y/N that she was the reason for his nervousness, though?

“It’s nothing. I promise.”

“I don’t think so.”

Harry scratches the back of his neck nervously. “How are you so good at reading me? S’like you’re inside my brain, Y/N.” He lets out a little chuckle after saying this but quickly stops when he realizes Y/N isn’t laughing along with him.

“You’re just easy to read,” she cooly responds after a second. “Why are you so nervous? Do you have something coming up for work?”

“Not really…”

“Then what is it? Something going on with someone in your family?”

Harry was quickly realizing Y/N wouldn’t drop this unless Harry gave her an answer. He silently hopes for the best before answering her.

“It’s you,” he mumbles, shifting around uncomfortably on his couch. “You make me nervous.” Y/N watches as his aura changes from red and blue to pink, and his cheeks flush slightly.

“Why do I make you nervous?”

“You just do.”

“Why? Have I done something to hurt you?”

Y/N was so painfully oblivious that it was cute. Harry was quickly realizing that his heart doubled in size every time he talked to her.

“No. Quite the opposite, actually,” Harry reaches in the pocket of his sweatpants for a tissue, facing away from her while he pauses to blow his nose. “You’re so… you’re jus’ very interesting. Mesmerizing, really.”

Y/N feels her skin heat up at Harry’s compliment. His aura is still shining pink, the brightest pink she’s ever seen since meeting him. She was sad to see there was still quite a bit of indigo and red, though. “Thank you. That’s very sweet of you.”

Before Y/N can stop herself, she reaches out to grab Harry’s hand. Immediately she feels his energy transfer to her and without thinking, Y/N flicks her finger out of force of habit. The beautifully potted Pothos that Harry has sitting on his television stand instantly droops, leaves turning brown and wilted.

Harry’s completely perplexed.

The first thing he notices is that he’s feeling better. Great, even. He feels as good as he felt after the interaction he had with Y/N in the Greek food place all those weeks ago. The next thing he notices is that his gorgeous Pothos, a plant that is nearly impossible to kill, is dead.

And it was all Y/N’s doing.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

please let me know what you thought!

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #aura #thanks for reading!

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argumentl · 3 years ago

Text

The Freedom of Expression Ep 58 - [NSFW] The truth behind the DIR EN GERY misprint, and a mysterious voice...

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome...Um..

T: Ah!

J: What is it?

T: No way!

K: Its 'Young Jump'

J: Ah, Young Jump.

K: I think you already know about this, but we put an ad on it like this *shows back page*.

J: Oh, looks great!

T: Yeah, it does. Very impactful.

K: Its good, isn't it?

T: Yeah, great impact.

K: There's something a bit odd about it.

J: Haha

T: Huh? Where?

J: Eh? Something odd?

K: Yeah, its a bit strange. There's a bit of a mistake.

J: Is the kanji for Oboro correct?

K: Yeh, and this is right, about the release on the 28th of April.

J: And Wenesday is correct, right?

K: Yeah, and the explosion screening schedule is ok.

T: Yeah, it is.

K: The ticket price info is also all fine.

J: Yep.

K: After that there's only this bottom section.

J:Yeah.

T: DIR EN...

T, J: GERY, haha.

J: Has a new band formed?

K: We screwed up.

J, T: Hahaha

K: Its hard to believe, right?

J: Incredible. I did not expect this..Dir en gery.

T: I thought it was like a trick or something.

J: Oh, to make it go viral or..?

T: Yeah, going with Dir en gery.

J: Kaoru, what was it?

T: We'll find out about it here.

K: It was a total mistake.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Seriously? Eh? Really?

K: Yeah.

T: Does that mean it was done on a hurry, if its a seroius mistake?

K: Yeah, I guess so.

J: Well, Tasai, you work for a newspaper, and I also work for Rolling Stone, so we understand this, but our work is handed in for checking, you know, proof-reading. And they do spot mistakes, but honestly, I have never seen mistake of this size before.

T: Yeh. This is at the level of 'accident'. However, there is a case for saying that we cannot attack this. What I mean by that is that we too make mistakes.

J: Yes, thats true. There is that. Well, this goes for magazines etc too, but if you do proof-reading within the organization, for example, if the writer writes an article, the editor will proof-read it, and they may intend to, but if everyone is really busy with loads of other work, they will run out of time. Then they will get it checked by an external proof-reader. Even then there are sometimes still typos left over.

T: Yeah, there are.

J: There are, right? Human error happens.

T: Yeah, like if I misspell a name or something, I can correct it on the digital version, but on paper it appears on every copy out there.

J: Yeah..

K: But like this?!

J: Yeah, we say this, but we've never seen a typo this bad. Like, I've mistaken small details in names and stuff before.

K: Yeah, like Young Jump becoming Young JumP, right?

J, T: Yeh, haha.

K: Not like this! *points to 'GERY'*

J: Haha, this is...

*Sound of strange voice occurs in background - On screen text: 'What was that voice?! One more time.. (Clip of strange voice re-plays) No-one during the filming heard this. Its a mystery voice'*

J: Tell us what happened?

T: Yeah, lets ask.

K: Um, we had the design made, and the designer made the regular logo and put it down here in this fixed spot, so it looked as if the logo was done, even though there was a mistake in it. At the time, I wasn't looking at the band name, I was looking at the overall design, and ths impact it had. Like this image of Kyo from RokumaykanGIG. My eyes were drawn to the best parts of the design. It wasn't really designed to emphasize the band name. Its designed to showcase this top part, so I, like, didn't see it. Die didn't even see it, and he normally checks these really carefully. Even if we miss something, he normally spots it straight away.

J: Ah, even Die didn't notice it! ???*1

K: Yeah. We were too busy checking that there were no mistakes in the tour schedule.

J: Yeah.

K: But the information is all correct, so if its just the band name with a mistake, well, maybe its ok.

T: This could become a really rare item in time to come.

J: Yeah, cause there isn't gonna be a misspelling with Dir en grey again after this. That point will be strengthened.

K: Not for a while yeah. A long time ago, we had a single out called 'Filth', and there was a mistake in the title of the song on the cover jacket.

T: Eh? So this is the second time this has happened to you?

K: Well...yeh.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, we occasionally make small mistakes *2, but...

T: This is big.

J: Can I suggest something? Good things come in threes.

K: Ah, terrible.

J: So there will be a third time to come, imagine it, it could be both the title and the band name with a mistake.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, what can I do about it now? If you buy the single 'Filth' even now, its still like that. So filth is spelled f-i-l-h..huh? h-f...um, it's..

T: ..t-h

K: f-i-l-t-h, but the i became f, I mean h. So because there were two h's I realised the mistake. If there really is only one h, it could be that they just made the letters look in that style, but they look the same to me.

T: Ehh? I want to line Filth up next to this magazine.

J: Yeah

J, K: Hahaha

T: Don't you have it here? Filth?

K: We do.

T: Lets put them out together!

K: When I saw this (*Young Jump*) though, well, I thought it was quite rare*3, it could become a talking point. If you take a bad thing in a smooth way, someone will notice, so I thought we could just go with it.

J: Brilliant!

K: And then I posted on Twitter, like 'Ooops'. And that was a photo of the actual magazine, so it really was like 'ooops'.

T: As soon as I saw your Tweet, I was like 'Huh?!' and I went to the convenience store and bought it. haha

J: Well, in that sense it is a rare item

T: Can we decide on the correct reading for this? How would you say it?

K: Ge-ri?

J: Dir en gery (ge-ri).

K: jeri? geri?

J: geri? jeri?

T: gari?

J: Its geri, right? Well, jeri is like..

K: In the basic form its geri, right?

J: Yeah. jeri might have to be 'Gerry' with two r's. Which is best Dir en jeri or Dir en geri?

T: Should we decide? Even though it doesn't really matter.

J: Yeah

J: Dir en geri sounds like a struggling country rock artist or something, haha. Dir en jeri has jellyfish vibes.

T: The official name: Dir en Gery (jeri). haha.

J: I want you guys to do a joke live show as Dir en gery. You could switch parts, like Kaoru, you could be on drums.

K: Ah, but we did kinda do that once, we changed parts on stage. I just made a load of noise.

J: Ahh, so you could do that as Dir en gery somewhere officially and play one song.

T: Ahh, thats a good idea.

J: Do a cover or something.

T: You could do ???*4

K: Er, no. haha.

J: Haha, this will getting bigger and bigger.

T: But I heard recently at the MeguroRokumaykanGIG screening, Kyo said that Toshiya used to play guitar a long time ago.

K: He was playing guitar the first time we saw him playing in a band...well, I don't know if he was playing it, or just waving it around a lot.

T: Yeah, Kyo said the stage was going wild.

K: Yeah, he wasn't playing.

J: So, when you guys switched instruments on stage, what did you do Kaoru?

K: Drums.

J: Oh, drums?

K: Thats the one I wanna try out the most.

J: So if you guys played as Dir en gery, Kaoru, you would be..?

T: Drums?

K:...Nah....*imitates playing the castanets*

J: Tambourine? Oh, castanets? So, it doesn't necessarily have to be the same instruments you play at the moment?

K: Yeah. As long as we play as a proper band.

J: Yeah, so Kyo could play the recorder..

T: Someone could hit the ???*5

J: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be good.

*The single Filth gets passed over*

K: I'll just get it out.

*K shows cover jacket to J*

J: Oh, here, right?

K: Can you see, there are two h's.

J: Yes. I see.

*K shows it to T*

J: The first h is a typo?

K: Yeah.

T: Its a bit difficult to spot though.

K: We didn't even notice, we thought it was just the design.

J: Yeah. Put them together now.

*K puts magazine and CD together*

J, T: Hahaha

K: By the way, it was the same person who designed both of these.

J, T: Haha

K: When he saw it he was so pained.

T: Its ok, ???*6

J: Ahh, well, it can't be helped though.

*On screen note: Again? (weird voice appears)*

J: Even if there is a spelling mistake, its conveying the atmosphere that is the main thing.

K: Yeah, thats the emphasis.

J: But on the other hand, you could say that as soon as 'Dir' appears, people recognise it as Dir en grey, even with this kind of misspelling. The name is that well know.

T: Hmm, yeh

K: Hm, well, yeh, if you look at it up to here. But for us, its impossible.

J: Well, I guess yeah. It goes for Rolling Stones too. For example, if the last n in Rolling Stones became an m, you wouldn't immediately spot it. If it came up all of a sudden, you would just think 'Ah, the Stones'. It's that kind of name recognition. You could see it in that way. But I didn't know it was the same designer who did it both times.

K: Our boss was pretty mad about it.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Really? I see.

K: He couldn't believe it.

J: Well, yeah. Its also the most important part.

T: Well, yeah, and cause its already in circulation.

J: Yeah. Well, everyone can keep it as a treasure.

K: Where's Kami?

J: Yeah, isn't he here?

Kami: Oh, Im here, I was just listening the whole time. People make mistakes, right?

T: They do.

Kami: This is just a mistake. So its wrong to point blame.

T, J: Yes.

J: Kami, have you made a mistake recently or something?

Kami: Im always making mistakes, and always getting into trouble.

J, T: Haha

Kami: As soon as you've made a mistake, it hurts, right?

T: Yeah, I know that feeling.

Kami: Yeah.

J: Yeah, the person who made the mistake knows it, you don't have to tell them.

T: Yeah, that hurts the most.

Kami: I bet if you made a mistake like this though, you'd get into big trouble.

T, K: Haha

Kami: I think you really would.

T: Well, heh, yeah. But if even Die overlooked this..its like a demon interferred..

J: Yeah, unbelievable.

K: But, anyway, Im taking it in a good way. Well, I mean, it's not good to take just any old thing in a positive way, but....its a bit like those remarks by Mori that we discussed recently.

J: Oh yeah.

K: Like how to move on with it.

J: Yeah, we can learn from that.

K: Yeah.

*Sound cuts out. On screen note: Suddenly, we were unable to record to voices. Was it linked to that sound we heard earlier?*

K: Um, the sound..

J: It seems as if the sound went off.

T: I wonder whether its to do with what we just talked about?

K: What, like, 'Stop this conversation?'

J: Haha, like from ths designer's perspective...'Please stop it!'

T: Haha, yeah, 'Please!'

J: So, what about the Oboro single?

K: So, we're at the last stage, just the mastering, and a little more discussion, and we're about finished. And then the packaging. Well, there's just a little bit longer till the 28th, about another month.

J: Well, Im looking forward to it.

K: Ok, lets finish here for this week. Thank you.

*On screen note: The voice that no-one, including the staff, heard during recording was recorded into the mic data.*

*1,4,5,6 Couldn't catch

*2, 3 Not entirely sure

To top

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

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piracytheorist · 4 years ago

Text

Get to Know Me

There are various things about me that I mention vaguely in ranting posts, that I know some of my followers don’t know. So I’m writing some stuff here, for people who want to know me better! 😉

I’m PiracyTheorist, for personal reasons I don’t share my real name or selfies publicly here. You can call me Nette.

Current fandoms circulating around here:

- Colin O’Donoghue (sporadic but massive posting whenever he graces us with new content)

- Resident Evil Village (there will be horror and graphic content, as well as spoilers for the game and its DLC Shadows of Rose) (tag will mostly be “Resident Evil” and/or “re talk”)

- Spy x Family (I’m up to date with the anime but I don’t read the manga, so please no manga spoilers)

- Digimon Adventure (20 years after watching it as a kid I went back to it and what do you know I still love everything about my very first blorbo, Yamato Ishida, so I’m going off about it here as well) (tag is “Digimon”)

- Our Flag Means Death (occasional posting), and some other random stuff I’m into.

Personal stuff:

I’m 28, I was born in a small town in Greece. I lived on an island for six years, where I studied music teaching. I now work part-time, as a kinda daycare teacher (I don’t know what the equivalent of what we have here for other countries is, but it’s basically spending time with some kids and guiding them through various activities, including music ones and stuff), and I finally live on my own. I don’t get paid much, and I only rent a small studio, but I’m managing my own finances.

I was only near the sea for those six years, but I still miss being able to simply go for a walk and look at the sea. I live in a landlocked city, the nearest beach is about an hour of driving away (for Greek standards, that’s a lot, tbh) but I don’t have a license, so it’s not that easy to visit the seaside 😅.

I’m a white cis woman, an asexual, I’m probably also aromantic but I’m not sure. Due to not being interested in romantic/sexual relationships however, I don’t spend a lot of time wondering about that. I just go with the flow.

I support all genders and sexualities and ways people choose to live their own lives.

I am a certified cat person™. I have one of my own (though she lives in my parents’ house and I only see her when I visit):

I find dogs cute as well, but I prefer cats for myself.

I have three older siblings, and lots of older first cousins - I’m one of the youngest in my extended family.

I was born with a cardiomyopathy. I’m on mild medication (by which I mean no side effects and no problems if I miss one dose) and I have some standard medical tests once or twice a year. I cannot do heavy exercise or push any limits (which, due to not being able to exercise my whole life, are low considering my young age). I am able to be independent though I'm eligible for some disability benefits. And yes, that means I’m in a high-risk group for any disease, not just covid or the flu.

I don’t want to have children. I like working with them as a music educator, but I don’t think I’d ever have the patience to actually be a good parent for life. Plus I have a ton of crappy genes, first and foremost of my own disease, so why spread them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I attend therapy sessions. Sometimes I talk here about my sessions, or about things I want to say in them. I tag those posts as “nette therapy” so you can filter that if you want.

I love travelling. Thanks to being a part of several choirs while studying, I’ve visited various places in Europe, and I hope to be able to visit more.

I try to tag everything, including triggers, so if there’s something you need me to tag (within reason, don’t bring fandom drama into my inbox please), don’t hesitate to ask me. I shitpost from time to time, so prepare for some silliness here and there.

I enjoy whump, that is, seeing fictional characters (mostly male - for me mostly ones played by the aforementioned Colin O’Donoghue) in pain or any kind of peril. I tag everything about that as “whump”. I understand triggers and squicks so tagged or not, if that makes you in any way uncomfortable, you can unfollow me. I appreciate people following my blog but I rarely if ever check my followers list.

Sometimes I write fanfics, though my main contributions to fandoms are gifsets and silly memes, occasionally. Killian Jones from the TV show Once Upon a Time is my biggest love, so content about him may appear here sometimes. My fanfics can be found on Tumblr [link] or on AO3 [link]. My gifsets can be found here [link].

I do not tolerate hate that’s aimed at innocent people - and that goes from hate for race, gender, sexuality etc. to hate for what fictional character each other likes. If what the other person is doing is in no negative way affecting someone else, I will not tolerate hate on my blog about them. I used be a person who judged others for what fictional characters/ships they liked, and I know now how miserable I was to act that way, and I’m trying to move on and become better.

That’s it for now :D Welcome to my blog!

#gtkm

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dreaming-of-assclass · 4 years ago

Note

I was rereading the manga and at the end, we saw how the other classes kinda like protecting E Class from those media jerks. I was wondering if you have any headcanons about how the other students (and teachers) first react/thought when the news about Korosensei first made public. Like, were they like "Is that why E class is so weird this year?" or something?

I’m sorry, I tried to keep it pretty serious but couldn’t help it with the Seo one.

Gakushuu: Is in shock. Honestly needs a while for it to set in...he like just drops to his knees and processes. The first thing he does is talks to his father and demand to know everything. Even though his father likely won’t tell him much, it’s just an involuntary reaction. “Heh, so this is what you were hiding this whole year...”

Koyama: Is watching the news about everything, and actually pauses his tv to stop and clean his glasses, thinking he’s hearing/seeing wrong. He’s in total disbelief, but his first thought is worry for Terasaka and everyone. Even if they’re rivals, he doesn’t want them to be hurt or caught up in some life-or-death trouble.

Araki: Was one of the first to know what’s going on since his father is a news reporter and caught up with his son immediately. He actually can’t progress it very well, his usual calm demeanor dissipating. He just clutches his head and shuts his eyes, crouching down and trying to accept every single implication he’s now learning.

Ren: He’s in the middle of making out with some girl in her living room, while the TV is still on. He vaguely hears the news but snaps up at the sound of “Kunugigaoka” being mentioned. He sits up, basically drops the girl to the floor while he focuses on the news. He’s in shock, and the first thing he does is text the 5 Virtuoso groupchat, like “Are you guys seeing this shit?!” He takes everything fairly calmly compared to the others. May or may not posts some selfies later that night, captioning his emotions.

Seo: Has no idea what’s going on until he gets home late from partying or whatever, and learns of it from his concerned parents. He literally yells “HAHHHHH?! The hell are you talking about?!” And refuses to believe it until he sees the news himself with his own eyes. After like 4 hours in a groupcall with Ren, Araki, and Koyama, he goes to bed and knocks out, until he wakes up at 3am in a cold sweat. He realizes what truly happened that day he shit his pants in public, and the thought literally makes him scream and wake up his entire household.

Kaho: She finds out the news alongside her family, literally in shock at what she’s hearing. She actually cries once she’s alone in her room, overwhelmed with so many feelings. Fear, anxiety...guilt and shame at how she treated Maehara and 3-E. Knowing that some superpowered being assisted in her public humiliation makes her almost throw up.

Main Campus Teachers: Theyre in disbelief once they learn the news individually at their own homes. But once they get over that, they all text each other in their group chat, sharing tea about all the odd things and red flags they saw from Koro (in his human disguise), Irina, and Karasuma throughout the year. “I never trusted them. Who the hell casually brings traditional, authentic Italian gelato to staff meetings?”

Class A in general: Given how they’ve interacted with 3-E the most during the year, it hits them harder than the rest of the main campus. Many of them freak out, some just process silently...for most of them though, they start reflecting on what happened and realize now that a literal super being was helping their rivals. They never quite had a chance at success, did they? They think bitterly.

Class B and C: The normie kids. They freak out and are in total shock. But they’re a bit quicker to react and like most kids facing serious topics, it sorta becomes a joke. Memes of the situation circulate around social media amongst all the students. A small group of kids actually make a YouTube conspiracy video about the truth of Koro and the government, going even deeper into the situation. It’s their way of coping honestly.

Class D: Oh boy, these kids literally lose their minds. The two bullies, Tanaka and Takada, hold each other and cry at the thought of what Koro could’ve done to them since they messed with his student. The vast majority of kids freak out since they were so close to dropping into 3-E themselves, just one letter away.

Bonus:

Sakura: She freaks out and panics, hiding all her dolls and toys in a literal safe, preparing for the world to end. She jumps to that conclusion and only calms down once she watches more, and talks with her parents. She instantly thinks of Nagisa and is super worried about him and the class.

Yuuji: This boy’s jaw literally drops and stays like that for a while, until a fly almost gets in. He can’t believe what he’s hearing, seeing... His mind flies towards Nagisa, and he like re-analyzes all of their interactions together, thinking hard about what Nagisa said. It all starts to make sense, with the “hidden talents” analogy and all. His dad barely notices what’s wrong, and for once, Yuuji is grateful. This is something he only wants to talk about with Nagisa again in the future.

Matsukata: He’s in the middle of sweeping the classroom when the TV news starts talking about the whole situation. He pauses his cleaning and watches it, squinting. “Hmm...” Then he just shrugs and continues what he’s doing.

#assclass #assassination classsroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #headcanons #gakushuu asano #ren sakakibara #natsuhiko koyama #teppei araki #tomoya seo #kaho tsuchiya #yuuji norita #matsukata is too old for this shit #the class a one makes me so sad

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icharchivist · 4 years ago

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why did you lose interest in hxh?

ahah quite the question is it not

there’s multiple reasons in general, but i think the main one is just that i got interested in others things and all instead? I always go by cycles of hyperfixations and such, like only one thing on my mind at all time, and so generally well, after a while i tend to lose interest, especially if something else catches it instead.

though there were others factors if i’m being honest in also not trying to keep the interest pumping.

The most major one is just that, sadly, the reality of the hiatus is that with lack of new contents it kinda felt like circling back on the same topics and thoughts over and over again (which i don’t fault Togashi for, his health comes before anything else) and it is true that the current arc, while interesting, has... less of a linear track and is kinda confusing and i don’t have the brainpower to always remember everything that’s going on in between months of update. (my energy has drastically been running out those past few years so i kinda dread coming back to it at the state the story is at. Togashi is a master at his craft, i just don’t think i can follow at the moment)

Back then, I also started to take issues with the fandom a bit; i’m still mad at how Gon gets misinterpreted sometimes and i’ve talked soooo much about it at this point and all that i think i’ve run myself out of energy, and, the reality of fandom is, you can say whatever you want, you can wish you cleared something up, but not everyone will see your points and stuff will start over and over and over again. I still follow some hxh blogs to that day and i get echos of dis//courses that are still happening and it makes me dread to think we’re still at it years later - but that’s how fandom rolls, there’s nothing one can do about it, and it’s healthier for me to stand back than to get worked up about it.

(which is a point i bring up especially because i did use to get a lot of ask about those scenes and after a bit it did get me worked up to repeat the same arguments over and over again - but, like, i can’t expect people to have read through all my blog to figure out my opinions on specific things either, so, it’s not like i can fault anyone here)

aaaaalso a bit after i officially left the fandom (and joined a fandom that made me quit on the idea of being in fandom altogether lmao that’s why nowadays i just ramble on my own and eventually reblog stuff from trusted mutu) there was major, major drama that started happening in the fandom that fucking terrified me. I don’t want to enter details, i don’t want to revive the dis//course that happened, but it was mindboggling and terrifying. I still read *nowadays* echos of some hxh fans being extremely toxic too in general and, considering the stuff i’ve seen, i’m dreading the idea of being around while they are. idk how it happened, perhaps because it’s that popular, because the dub is probably over by now (?) or something but man i’m seeing dramas that just makes me want to turn off my internet and never visit a social media again lmao

Nowadays i admit i haven’t interreacted with any hxh in years (i think since the last update of the manga?? that’s it) aside from some content i see from hxh blogs i still follow from back in the days (people whom i still really enjoy seeing around and they remind me of the appreciation i had for the story with their posts - i’m just not inclined to interreact further with it)

but it’s not like i dislike the manga either.

To be honest my opinions on the fandoms have often ended up skewying my view on the stories that brought me joy, like annoying dramas end up me getting worked up and disgusted with the source material and go “it’s not even that good to be worth of it”, and i kinda hate when it happens? because if i hyperfocus on those stories it’s not because they’re good but because they bring me some sort of joy, and i hate the idea of this joy being destroyed not because the story is failing me, but because i get worked up about what some random people online say about it or to each others. (re: why i barely participate in fandoms these days)

hxh is one of the fandom i decided to take a step back in order to be able to remember why i liked it this much without having to think about the people factor into it.

So, i still really like hxh and i don’t regret having been a part of its fandom back in the days, i hold fond memories of this time, and i just don’t want to ruin it by forcing the interest back. (and honestly this is more than what i can say for many fandoms i’ve been into)

That said, in general: i feel like the ambiance in some fandoms i’ve lurked on have grown into territories that makes me profoundly uncomfortable, and my life has been getting complicated enough that i don’t want to add fandom worries on it. I feel like the ambiance nowadays is far more hostile and unenjoyable and kinda scary and don’t feel as comfortable talking about the stuff i like in places people can read me. (the reasons i still do so with g//b//f or a//3, aside from the fact those are part of my current hyperfixations, is that they’re niche enough that i feel like my posts gets posted only for the people unfortunate enough to be following me, not “basically anyone”, privacy babey)

so, in general, i’ve taken a major step back from interreacting with people in fandom space and gets waayy too self conscious when i’m posting anything online these days, and since the fandom which was the last straw for me was the one i got into right after my hxh phase, while i was seeing stuff go down in my previous fandoms, this is about the time i started to just, be less active in general, talk less unless i know it’s niche enough people won’t find me, and stuff like that

hxh isn’t the first fandom i did that with but i think it was striking because i did it more drastically right after it, and because i used to be really active and loud there. My posts still circulate a *lot* too even to that day, moreso than posts i’ve made for any others fandoms, so i suspect that adding to that the fact the fandom is pretty much alive and well (unlike some fandoms i love like d/g/m love u sweetie we’ll get ham when the flashback arc is over i’m sure, eventually,) people liked my posts enough to still read them nowadays, and that’s very humbling and touching.

but yeah, i ended up rambling ahah ^^” but yeah tl;dr it’s just a mix of the fact i just ended up interest in other things, got a bit tired with the same topics repeating themselves especially since with the hiatus it’s not like we could do more, and hxh was the last fandom i genuinely wanted to be active in before i decided to drop being active in fandoms all together.

so yeah here you have it ^^” hope it makes sense

take care nonny! i wish you well!

#ichafantalks hxh #man what a clusterfuck of a post i'm sorry dKLFJDF #Anonymous #ichareply

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stupidjewishwhiteboy · 4 years ago

Text

I find myself oddly without a home re: the Dr. Seuss controversy

My thoughts:

1) While I do not doubt Dr. Seuss Enterprises deciding to stop publishing the books in question because of racially insensitive/racist imagery, I suspect the decision was primarily economic, or else they’d be talking about cutting the Cat in the Hat (who academic types occasionally claim is based on minstrel tropes, which from what I’ve seen is possible but I doubt any kid reading those books today would be familiar enough with to get)

2) I’ve seen some librarians in Facebook groups I’m a part of say that the books in question should be weeded because of the racist imagery and I do not agree. If the books don’t circulate they should be cut, and if they’re damaged maybe they shouldn’t be replaced (especially as they are probably going to be more difficult to replace now) but I have my doubts that seeing stereotypical imagery will be so harmful to kids that they cannot be seen ever again, especially with the increase in books by people of color and/or who feature POC depicted respectfully. I feel that people should have the choice to assess the books on their own. I actually think it would have been better for Dr. Seuss Enterprises to republish the books with notes before or afterwards noting the racial insensitivity/racism of the drawings and writings, to encourage conversations between parents and children or to warn away people who don’t want to see that sort of thing. But I must also acknowledge that as a white person I’m not the audience that would be harmed by stereotypical depictions.

3) I find it interesting that when I posted to the same Facebook group that had so many people wanting to weed out Dr. Seuss books something to the effect of “while we’re talking about problematic Dr. Seuss stuff I kinda think the whole ‘person who is bad because they hate Christmas is eventually converted into being a Christmas lover’ story of which The Grinch is a prime example is kind of an antisemitic trope” I did not get much support. There were some people who agreed (including one person who pointed out that Green Eggs and Ham is problematic from both a specifically Jewish and a more general “respect people’s stated preferences” perspective), but I got a lot of people who assumed I was trolling (I wasn’t, this is an actual thought I’ve had for a while, although it is admittedly of a different type of problematicness from racially insensitive depictions of poc that others were talking about), or who asserted either that as a secular holiday Christmas and therefore anything related to Christmas couldn’t be antisemitic or that by my logic any book depicting a religious holiday like Christmas must be offensive to practitioners of other religions (so basically the two basic arguments Jews and others get in December when we don’t want to participate in Christmas stuff)

I don’t think my library has any plans to weed the three of the six offending books in question that we have in our collection, but I probably won’t be using any of them for storytime (besides the fact that all Dr. Seuss books are owned by Scholastic, which has restrictions on recorded readings of their books that run into the fact that I do my story times via Facebook Live because of Covid). If someone comes in looking for the books I’d show them to them, however—as I said before, I think everyone has a right to understand what the hoopla is all about.

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professorchaos · 4 years ago

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Hey not writing this to call you out or anything (don’t feel obligated to publish it) but as a transfem person I feel kind of uncomfortable with how much you focus on your transfem headcanons of Butters and Kenny (esp since you’re TME)... I’m glad ppl are having more transfem hcs really but I just find it kinda awkward that you’d choose Butters (canonically misogynistic/stand-in for MRAs) and Kenny (one of his personality traits is to consume lots of porn) which are v similar to the (1/2)

transphobic stereotypes of trans women terfs circulate to make us look like misogynistic predatory pornsick men. (2/2)

I’m going to assume that you’re sending this ask in good faith, but I would like to preface my response by reminding you that you do not know me. You do not know my “assigned sex”, nor are you or anyone else entitled to that information. I do not feel comfortable being described with terms such as TMA/TME, AMAB/AFAB, transfem/transmac; these are all terms which ask nonbinary people to define ourselves by our genitalia, so that cis people can mentally label us as “girl nonbinary” and “boy nonbinary”. If other nonbinary people use these terms for themselves that is their personal choice, but I do not use them, and I have never discussed my assigned sex on this blog or any linked to it. It is therefore incredibly inappropriate for you to decide for yourself that I am “TME” based on, presumably, my typing style, experiences I have alluded to, or my appearance. The trans experience is vast, and it is misguided at best to make an assumption like this one.

That aside, I can understand where this concern comes from. I’ve been thinking about making a post about these particular headcanons for a while now anyway, so let’s talk about it!

TW: CANON-COMPLIANT CHILD ABUSE/CSA, TRANSMISOGYNY. 16+. Reader discretion is advised.

Firstly, as I have stated time and time again on this blog, I do not consume South Park, nor participate in its fandom, with politics at the forefront of my mind. It is necessary to discuss the show’s politics in order to make meaningful criticisms, but despite the frequent criticisms I have made (which I realise may perhaps give some the wrong impression), this is not a crit blog. I read and analyse South Park from a literary and developmental perspective; in other words, I am more interested in these characters and their stories as representations of child psychology and trauma than I am in them as political symbols or metatextual tools. I am aware that they are devices expressing adult viewpoints, and that is perhaps from a non-political standpoint where I find the most to criticise- ten-year-olds are not a good stand-in for full-fledged adults.

This, then, is where I take issue with your points. Butters being “canonically misogynistic” as a literary device utilised by adult writers does not play into my headcanons, not my analysis. The external context of the season 20 arc is not something I am interested in beyond awareness that it exists (because I honestly found it incredibly tepid- it’s written as if misogyny is amusing, which it isn’t). To me, then, Butters being “canonically misogynistic” refers to behaviours which have reasoning behind them within the text. I thoroughly enjoy analysing characters’ behaviour as if continuity as far back as the first season were at play in the writers’ room, regardless of whether or not that might be true.

You are saying that Butters is a “stand-in for MRAs”, and this is a valid reading! However, I am saying that Butters is a ten-year-old child, affected by their environment and still mentally developing.

Let me ask you something: can cis girls harbour internalised misogyny? Can cis girls call each other sluts or wh*res, can they call each other bitches, can they decide they hate other girls based on surface interactions with them, what they can get out of those interactions, etc? When Wendy decides that Bebe is too much of a “slut” to hang out with the girls in season 6, do we condemn her as a misogynist and say that she must therefore be a boy instead? We don’t- because that would be bizarre. Granted, there is a particular stigma behind trans women and misogynistic behaviour, and it would be strange to go around saying that every misogynistic man is actually a trans woman with internalised misogyny. Butters, though, is ten, and I think their behaviour is more than likely to change. It’s easy to forget, but in the canonical timeframe, it has probably only been little over a year since they were sent to a conversion camp. They are also a victim of (again, probably relatively recent, since it was mentioned in season ten) incest and CSEM (season five), and were also seen in season five to be forced by their parents to wear a paper bag on their head for looking “like a girl”. Their experiences with gender have not been kind and it is a commonly documented phenomena that abused children will experience some degree of gender confusion, trans or cis.

This logic can also be applied to Kenny- even moreso, I think, since Kenny is so incredibly quiet that it’s hard to apply authorial intent to her behaviour beyond “the writers probably think that a child being this vulgar is really, really funny”. From my perspective, though (and once again, this is just because of how I choose to interact with the source material), Kenny’s hypersexual behaviours also have extremely obvious roots. Aside from the repeated, violent deaths- which I want to stress, would be so much more traumatising than fandom generally tends to consider or allow for- she has been raised in an environment where not only is pornography extremely accessible (Stuart leaves porn magazines in the open and only chastises her for cutting pictures from them, not for reading them), but there is little to no distance between her and her parents’ active sex life. This is something she has been exposed to since at least the beginning of the show, at which point she was eight years old.

Kenny being hypersexual, I would argue, is not an inherent character trait- it is a result of traumatic experiences. The previously mentioned overexposure to sexual materials, the violence of her deaths and her family, and the fact that she is also a victim of CSE(M) (season four/season five) mean that even with her quiet and introspective personality, she has little scope for what might be an appropriate way to talk about women and girls (I would also like to argue that some of her behaviours, such as her fascination with breasts, could be misdirected manifestations of simple childish curiosity, and even early signs of physical dysphoria made seemingly sexual by her unusually awful life experiences and responses to them). Not to mention that, despite her hypersexuality, she is generally considerate of the girls around her- she appreciated that Tammy Warner was hypersexual like her, but she also actually valued her as a person. It’s usually pretty obvious, when Kenny has a girlfriend, that the other kids are misinterpreting Kenny’s intentions as purely sexual when they are often sweeter and kinder than that (therein lies some of the humour, I suppose).

What I’m saying, really, is that while I do understand your concerns, I do not feel that the character traits you are assigning to these children can be applied in the definitive way you are suggesting they can. They’re children, and children exhibit behaviours reflective of their environments which change as they get older. If, to you, these children are essentially stand-ins for adults, then that’s your reading, and that’s fine. I am not here to argue with your interpretation or tell you that it is wrong. But to me, they are kids, and I find their experiences and resulting behaviours in many ways reflective of my own. Thank you for reading, and sorry that this post ended up so long!

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