#now that i know what im doing sorta
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hehehehehe writing oc smut is fun now
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jay dump
#yess i know the jerma one has been done before but I WANTED TO DO IT TOO!!#also i havent seen anyone change the text for the jerma one yet#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago jay#jay walker#jay (sorta) fucking died au is because i was like wow wonder how jay would react to seeing himself with an office job and amnesia#and so now he gets to. and amnesiac jay gets to be haunted by his literal past self#what joy#blood tw#tw blood#gif#lego ninjago#wyrm draws#suit jay#ill prolly be posting less art over the next few weeks because i have exams#then im gonna work on some ask art (anon who wanted cole and amnesiac jay i will draw it.. eventually)#ninjago au#ninjago dr spoilers#ninjago dragons rising spoilers#dragons rising spoilers
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warlock wizard Wally scribbles... Thinkings! oh and a bonus bard-ish Barnabys in the corner for flavor
outfit ramblings:
first of all that is a Terrible rendition of what Home looks like in my head. i just needed to fill empty space </3
the staff was the toughest part honestly. bc it Had to be paintbrush-themed, but then halfway through scribbling i was like "oh shit. there are only so many ways to draw a paintbrush-wizard-staff and Weevmo already hit it out of the park." so if you're seeing similarities! you're right! i tried to make it as different as i could! there is Inspiration from their marvelous design, however accidental or subconscious! Apologies!
he gets a pointed hood instead of a hat because a) it looks great on him! and b) it has less of a chance of messing up his hair! also c) it helps muddle the difference between Wizard and Warlock. typically hoods have evil/duplicitous connotation - blur the lines! i want his long gloves and forearm wraps to have the same vibe. his neckerchief is a big help in hiding Home's seal!
his layered (loosely apple-themed) capelet (which the hood is attached to) has a nice high collar & hides the details of his loose shirt - eye embroidery! and some flowers on the shoulders but yk, mostly eyes. on one side of the shirt buttons has open eyes, the other side they're closed! there's also one big eye on his back!
his belt buckle is two halves of an apple! he wears tall thigh-high boots w/ low heels to feel Taller! he has a book-holster hooked to the back of his belt, which holds his grimoire! and he has a lil thigh-bag that has been magicked to be Bottomless and warps size! he can fit pretty much anything in there! canvases! paint! apples!
his half-skirt thing (idk what the word for it is!) is really plush, like a quilt - his capelet is the same fabric. soft, cozy. sometimes he'll use the skirt thing as a blanket in a pinch, or as a picnic placemat!
is his outfit a little Complicated? is it annoying to replicate? yes and yes. but im a maximalist at heart and Nothing But The Best for the blorbo <3 layers my beloved <3
#i know ive said it before but whenever i make an au its essentially an Exploration in a sense#and this fantasy au ~Bog Edition~ is basically me going#'so wally and his house huh. whats up with that'#and maybe im taking it a bit to the extremes#since home is pretty much warlock wally's god??? sorta? loosely??#well it literally gave wally life and a body. so.#and it also literally took the place of his heart - wally Cannot live without home#they have a fun 'we cant exist without each other now' codependent very devoted kinda unhealthy relationship#wally sometimes has to do terrible things for home#and home will do terrible things in return for wally. even when wally doesnt want them to#and they both love each other very much <3 what kind of love is it <3 fuck if i know! theyre Weird About It though#its the only dynamic an ancient lovecraftian horror & the puppet they gave life & tethered itself to can have!!!#wally wisely keeps home & his 'warlock' status a secret from his friends for as long as he can#they just dont understand his & home's bond smh#scribble salad#welcome home#wh fantasy au#gonna have to workshop barns....#i need to balance the fantasy + hes a distinguished fella + bard#hence the hat. the hat stays.#gotta find the right vest...#and then everyone else if i feel like it....#outfit design is so Grueling but i refuse to keep it simple#there have to be LAYERS it has to be IN CHARACTER i have to put ALL THE EFFORT INTO IT
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders spoilers#jrwi pd spoilers#jrwi pd#william wisp#vyncent sol#THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it.#BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece#i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW)#that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that#if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles.#open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho#BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses...#lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH#FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE#i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony#recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day#ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw-#-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM-#-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS#its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not#well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i-#-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!!#i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i
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There's a lot of validity in the idea that older Bakugo is a traumatized pro-hero with major PTSD... but you know what's kinda fucked up to think about? The fact that Bakugo is also a 22-year-old pro-hero with major PTSD even before that, too.
It's almost easy to imagine that things are actually better when he's older (the therapy finally a routine, the trauma long set and on the path to being healed)... and that it's his whole 20s that are spent as a pool of disaster trying to recover from the war(s).
He looks back and barely even remembers being twenty, much less twenty-five or twenty-seven. Barely remembers how little he slept, not at the hands of trying to balance hero work and getting a degree at the same time, but just out of the pure insomnia that came from trying to move on and every nightmare attached.
Hardly ever showering, never shaving (not that he ever grew much of a beard, but the facial hair was definitely there. There's pictures of him on the news with an awkward, grown out haircut and patches on facial hair that make him look positively... immature), barely even eating more than a few protein bars or an energy jelly drink-a day. It's a blur, and his friends are hardly there to pick him up out of it because they're all going through it, too. Somewhat.
It's definitely weird if you meet him during this period. He's not all there, at least, not all of the time. He doesn't really register your interactions, the friendship you extend to him (a younger, or ever older, version of him would've shown you that deep seeded ferocity in response, tried to bite the hand that fed him, even if it were love... but 20s Bakugo... doesn't seem to notice). Even though only one of his eyes is clouded over, the good one never seems to brighten up.
There's definitely moments when the old him shines through: when he's with Deku, when he's in the midst of battle, when he finds out that Todoroki still does a shitty job at chopping scallions. But it's a long time before he's even close to the same, able to step out from underneath the fog of simply surviving and into the sunshine of recovering.
But I think sticking through it with him is worth it.
(It's a weird moment, a happy moment, the first time you realize that Bakugo has changed. That the pouring rain outside hasn't bothered him since he showed up at your apartment. He forgot his umbrella, he's been quite careless ever since the war—wet and shaggy hair frizzed up, cheeks red from cold—but he doesn't seem to mind, with his bare feet up on your coffee table, his eyes gazing out the window. You hand his tea, and instead of gulping it down in one go, letting it burn in his throat, he winces at the heat.
"Tastes like shit," he says, and you laugh because it always does. Just this time, he noticed.)
#bakugou x reader#bakugo#this is what crocheting a baby hat does to u#no im jk i was just thinking abt bakugo being like 22 and awkward as h*ck bc he still hasnt recovered from the war#i wanna talk abt what he's like more but this is what came out instead LOL#like i think he's really stubborn abt ... coping with after effects of dying#and then before he knows it he has major depression LMFAOO#and he can like go to work get his degree do all he needs to do as a 20-something year guy#but he's not like. *there*. you know#and you meet him and he's a binch but he's not hard to get along with#and u just sorta take him in and drag him places like idk#your school's halloween night.. or even just a night out with ur friend (he doesn't even know how to order a drink)#and he doesnt even process it all until one day he's like 'dang it feels like ive been asleep for years'#and he kinda was#but he knows youre the one who helped him and now he wants to fix himself for you bc he remembers u being there for him#but he's so funny im imagining him with like. frat boy facial hair and a really outgrown ugly mullet type haircut#and lowkey with like. greasy skin (ik he's perfect but he's in a bad state and it shows) and he eats instant noodles ever day#and only watches japanese top gear#and goes on patrols where he beats the crap outta ppl and then doesnt remember it#DREAM BOY#and then he's big hero later#anyway#caitie post#gen
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first amv be nicies to me about it or else
#qktalks#new hobby found ! achievement get#there was a lyric at the very start of this song (that i cut out bc it was slow and i wanted it to be a bit crazier)#that says ''i can't seem to stay me'' which was sorta the origin of why i picked this one#so there ya go#the first half is a lil rough ngl.i recognize this and if u make fun of me ill cry right on ur person#i thought i hated editing but it turns out once u have a halfway decent editing program the process Doesn't make u wanna cry#i have another song in mind but im not sure there's rly enough footage of what i want for it ... hrrmm#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#shigeo kageyama#mp100 mob#mp100 shigeo#flashing#<- dunno if it's necessary but just to be sure#i do kinda like that amvs take way less time than most of my other hobbies#like art takes forever building anything in any game takes centuries writing can take a long time depending on the length#but u can kinda just whip up an amv in one sitting if u know what ur doing#i Didn't know what i was doing when making This so it took me a couple days but ! now i know the basics of the program so yay
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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got to the end of my re-read 👍
i love them so much
#tv omens feels like they tremble with longing at every brush of the fingers#but book omens they're all up in each other's space and it's. just like the constant endearments.#it doesn't feel significant to them at all but everyone around them is like I know what you are#and theyre right.#book omens#good omens#ineffable husbands#what im saying is book omens have definitely explored each others bodies. tv omens have not.#radio omens they're on again off again (sexually) but the friendship is good#book omens the sex is like. incidental. they dont feel it's relevant or important to their relationship or their lives but it's nice#sorta just like any other activity they do.#like st james park is not itself a pillar of their relationship--the time they spend together is. no matter how it's spent#whereas tv omens the sex is a huge deal simply bc theyve been avoiding it for so long. like#like when you make a point of Hating a band on principle. but you've caught some songs on the radio and secretly you think theyre#theyre not ALL bad but you can't admit that to anyone and you still refuse to listen to them just on principle#but you know it's just a matter of time. but the longer you dig in your heels about it--the more important it becomes to maintain your#image as the type of person who has never listened to that particular band. you know#im exposing myself here. ill stop talking now.
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thinkingg..............i might want to post some AU content on here. bc my posts are just seen by my awesome friends n moots and most of them can't see my AU work...but they have no idea the beloved antics i put in my AUs.................i want yall to see the waffle fries human au SO bad
#quail talks#hi im just. looking through the WF human au obvs#and im just thinking like. why tf am i even hiding AUs#like i know why i STARTED- i was just! embarrassed! embarrassed i draw 100s of drawings of my characters that aren't “”“canon”“”#i know i had a close person in my life at the time of my AU peak who was sorta AU-critical.... and i thought hiding them was for the best#but now its like......i do soooo much character work in AUs. and no one fucking knows#i feel like the Waffle Fries human AU REALLY sheds some light into the personalities and dynamics of the characters#even if some of them don't interact in canon! (the AU spans into Tuesday)#but honestly#who gives a fuck about canon. really. aren't AUs canon too!!! if youre the one writing the story.!?!?#genuinely.....#as an OC writer- the line between fanon and canon is basically nonexistent#but i nerve.....i have so many nerves all the time#silly!! silly head#aughh what if everyone knows i love drawing my characters#what if everyone knows i like drawing Ruse and Magic as hot human women
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Day 21/October 21: Day of the Departed || Reminisce (??)
GRAHH ITS STILL THE 21ST SOMEWHERE i’m apparently using morrotober to try new things this one’s a new lineart brush that i’m sorta warming up to and the POSE and the BACKGROUND and the LIGHTING i’m surprised i finished this at all tbh. and also new morro design
bg lineart and sword vs neither plus the green ghost fog thing i do basically if you zoom in really really close the lines aren’t smooth on the lineless bgs but icba the pedestal can be chipped or something. i kinda like without the sword and fog cause it gives him a more isolated feel yk (that was my original idea lmao)
this one’s my attempt at funky mannequin hands
#i was sorta going for a reminiscey vibe#if you squint he’s looking at the sword#at least that’s what i tried to do#i’m pretty sure reminisce is looking back on good things tho so maybe not#i just now realized the sword would make more sense facing the other way but whatever we ball#alo if you see this these were the hands i wanted to do w your dtiys but i couldn’t figure it out so i stuck the sword onto him lol#SPEAKING OF HANDS I DID THEM MYSELF WITH NO REF AND IM KINDA PROUD OF THEM#LOOK WHERE WE ARE NOW IMPROVEMENT BABY#at least i hope these things are kinda one and done#I ALSO DID THE POSE WITH NO REF although that one may be evident#i actually did everything other than the bg with no ref#i was coloring the bg in the dark so i hope the colors aren’t too wack i just eyedropped and prayed#the texture is weird idk how i did that#deadass i think i was coloring for like 5 hours straight#i actually kinda like the fog thing the outline reminds me a bit of the preeminent#ninjargon just says morro if you want to know about that#ninjago#lego ninjago#morro ninjago#ninjago morro#morro wu#morrotober 2023#morrotober2023#morrotober#ninjago dotd#day of the departed#i had more doodles and a comic for previous prompts but i got intimidated by the comic and got stuck doom scrolling instead#i’ll finish them when i have the time#and pick my ass up to tackle the comic#maybe i’ll just post it for myself instead of morrotober
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Also forgot to share this beauty i drew a few days ago
#localgardenweed#the weed is rambling#hetalia#hws#hetalia japan#hws japan#i need him carnally#what who said that#who said that#i just like giggle and tee hee#I drew this during class and idk why i felt sorta embarrassed cause i always worry i come of as one of *those* people when it comes to japan#like i know its not that deep but ive always been paranoid about itNOOOO NOOO GUYS WAIT NO#IM NOT THOSE ‘OH SUGOI JAPAN IS SO PERFECT AND HEAVEN THEY ARE SO ADVANCED AND I JUST WANNA BE JAPANESE’ NO NO NOOOOOOOO#IM JUST A GIRL WHO JUST LIKES A MANNWHO HAPPENS TO BE THE PERSONIFICATION OF JAPAN HIMSELF#IDK WHY IM SO FREAKED OUT OVER IT CAUSE LIKE#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL ANY NORMAL PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON HETALIA WORLD STARS JAPAN#I SOUND CRAZY#I AM CRAZY#anyway i do love drawing him and i wanna still figure out how to actually draw his body cause i end up making him super twinky#half my drawings kinda do anyway cause i struggle at widening shoulders and chests but I WILL NOT LET HIM BE A TWINK#In my mind he is a upside down triangle ontop of a rectangle like broad shoulders and then the rest of his body is hust a straight shot down#i think mostly his clothes give him different shape languages like seen here like his oants flare out so like its kinda hourglassy#anyway imma shut up now i must attend to my duties
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#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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started a new save in sulani with this boy, archie 😎🌴
#changed up my editing#what do we think??? yay nay???#i know i said i was playing nsb again and i totally was but then i sorta kinda maybe started creating a little world & story in my head and#now im attached to this smelly sweaty lifeguard boy#more archie lore coming soon#archie valiente#valiente save#valiente gen 1#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4#ts4 legacy
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wip - trying to doodle my rarepair on the beach and i can't stop trying to make emo ideas happen so im spitting out here to get it out of my head eustace and isaac could be cute !! just let them have their peace and quiet!! I'm starting to rotating them in my mind !!
#kickdraw#granblue fantasy#isaac gbf#esutace gbf#what do i even call this pairing - who cares im the only one out here on this boat ive seen post so far (join me hahaaaa)#eusaac#istace#??? - no idea lmao#reading isaac's fate ep made me so emo knowing how his parents treated him and grace - im glad he got her out of there cause oooouuuggghhh#anyway hear me out on them (I have almost nothing here yet lmao)#we take the 2 sorta solitary dudes on the team and we shove them together : )#they barely interact before HSM - but yaknow im having my fun out here rotating them lol#just 2 dudes with their lives dedicated to a mission forced on them from childhood both ending their mission and moving on at the same time#guys who would relate to each other maybe if they ever spoke to each other but are too solitary probably - oops oops#grand zeta fate ep says isaac is now working for society fixing up the weapons and needs to work on ranged weaponry next : )#eustace is the most stoic dude vs isaac being the most visibly nervous dude in the plotline - anyway i think they should kiss#could probably compare their characters more here but i'll just do it in a separate post sometime lol#edit - I FORGOT im eternally emo over how isaac got his arm eaten lmao#im want to draw 500 references to it cause it was really metal
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