#now that i finally got this out of my system i can go back to work now

[sturniqloo]

° NOTHING ELSE °

pairing: Chris Sturniolo & fem!reader

in which: after a long day at work all you want is to be close to your boyfriend. ♡

~warning: nothing,its all fluff,nicknames,English is not my first language! ~

Wednesdays. How you hated them.

You're currently sitting in your office,having tons of paper to sort out and put into system for company you worked for,the sound of rain hitting the windows,keyboard of your computer clicking as your fingers almost finished all the work,only other sound was little hums you left throughout the time...the sighs,the deep breaths,the melodies that were in your mind.

It was enough of a bad day for you,your period,the stupid rain,the coworkers being annoying..just everything was irritating you,and the tons of work didn't help much.

Only thing that helped your mind ease was Chris..knowing he was at home,waiting for you,made you feel warm and relaxed. He was everything you needed. Nothing else.

As you glanced at the clock on the wall,it was near 01:30pm.

'Just an hour and a half more untill being home.'

You thought to yourself .

Your head pounding and the sudden sound of growling in your stomach breaking the silence. You haven't eaten anything yet,but lunch at home won't be soon enough and at this moment the only thing you wanted was to just lay down,sleep and eat. With a big exhale,you moved the chair and leaned back,rubbing your eyes in exhaustion as your gaze fall to the phone on the desk. Thinking about calling Chris sounded like the best thing possible right now. Without hesitation you picked it up,your finger hovering over his contact before calling him. As soon as he answered you can hear his voice.

'hey ma',what's up?'

'hey baby..nothing..-im just exhausted and bored..wanna be home right now'

Your voice tired and soft over the phone. It was clear you needed rest.

After a long call with Chris,time passed,it was now 2:15pm.

'Ugh,just a little more..'

You said to yourself with a big sigh,wishing the time can just pass as soon as possible.

Fastly enough it was time. The clock hit 3pm. Signaling it was time to go home.

You got in the car and drove to your and Chris's house,opening the doors,the warm cozy atmosphere hitting you immediately,the smell of a welcoming home.Taking your shoes off,and putting your coat away you see Chris waiting for you on a couch,your gaze falling to the table in front of him,with bouquet of flowers and ordered food. You could feel your face grinning into a smile,as he stood up towards you.

'hey baby,m'so glad you're back..finally.'

With a kiss on a forehead he pulled you down on the couch to lay with him.

'how was work darling? anything happened?'

He asked while running his hands through your hair softly.

'no,just ton of works,it was very exhausting today...'

You answered while relaxing into his touch,the headache already feeling better.

'well..we can do something if you want,like go out for a walk or little drive..whatever you feel like doing,im down'

His voice was soft and sincere,always knowing what to say or do to make you feel instantly better.

'mhmm..we can stay home tonight,exactly how we are right now,i don't wanna move,just wanna be like this-close to you..it's all i need at the moment'

Chris instantly got that and just relaxed with you,cuddling you even more and just doing everything he could to be there for you.

'i love you,you know that right?'

His voice suddenly breaks the comfortable silence.The words full of truth and emotions.

'yes baby,i love you too'

The only sound right now was your giggle,you always enjoyed times like this with him.You could do it forever,it was all you needed.

Just Chris,and nothing else. ♡

author's note: sorry if this is not good,or long,but Im trynna get back into writting,i hope you liked it,lmk what yall think and ofc I always take requests! ♡tell me if you wanna be added to my taglist! also wanna thank to @strnilolover my Gabby for giving me an idea,love her so much ♡

° Lili's corner °

no pressure tags: @chrislilcumslvt @chrislilcumslvt @mattscoquette @adoreechxmpion @strnilolover @mattslolita @sturn10log1rl @luvleyangeldust

[susicheng]

𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚ dm for prices      l.mk

chapter 10 markie?

you expected to be nervous. this was teetering the line between date territory and the casual friend hangouts you and mark had been having before you went home for a month. not to mention, you hadn’t seen mark in person for so long (not counting yesterday when he surprised you at the airport). being alone with him again might be completely foreign territory again, after all of the talking you had been doing over break.

somehow, though, seeing mark only eased your nerves. as he opened the passenger side door, you could only look at his face and smile, serotonin rushing through your system.

“hey.” he climbed in awkwardly, as endearing as ever. “you look really good.” you could tell he wasn’t used to being provided the princess treatment from others. good thing you were here now to change that.

“just good?” you teased.

“beautiful. you look beautiful.”

“thank you markie. you look gorgeous yourself.”

“gorgeous?” the flush on his cheeks was evident, even from your peripheral vision as you began to drive, focusing more on the road than his face.

“yeah. you’re gorgeous.”

“can’t say anyone has ever called me that before.”

“really?” you glanced over at him, only for a second, to witness the shy nod he produced. “then i’m happy to be the first.”

he seemed to appreciate the lull in the conversation, taking this time to compose himself after your comment.

“you’re a good driver.”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his attempt at changing the topic, trying to regain control of the situation to avoid become more flustered. too bad you had contradicting plans. “thanks, i try. wouldn’t want my princess to be harmed under my watch.”

“i thought you said you were leaning towards ‘babygirl’?” his reply was playful. confident, even. but the reappearance of redness on his cheeks gave him away.

“we’ll see where the night takes us, yeah?” maybe you were implying something sexual. maybe not. who could really dictate that call.

“oh. yeah, okay.” you pulled into a parking spot, finally able to fully turn and appreciate his (adorable) reactions to your words.

“you’re cute mark.” his face was only getting redder. you really wanted to bite him, he was too cute. who knew mark lee was a sucker for being pampered.. (you had a feeling he had somewhat of a praise kink. nice to know your theory was closer to becoming true).

“thanks.”

you had been parked for a minute, watching mark expectantly as he seemed at a loss for what to do.

“are you going to get out of the car, or do you want me to get the door for you?” you giggled, watching the realization dawn on his expression and send him into panic mode.

“oh! oh, i can get out by myself. hahaha. thank you. i can get out by myself.” the way he moved reminded you a bit of a baby deer, unsteady and nervous. maybe you weren’t the only one that was nervous about seeing the other in real life after so long of being hundreds of miles apart.

“baby, you’re so nervous. why?” you were both out of the car now, mark getting particularly jumpy every time you got too close, like he was afraid to make the wrong move around you.

“oh. um. no reason, it’s just exciting for you to be back.” 

“that’s all?”

“yeah! yeah that’s all.”

the mall was as exciting as it usually is. despite window shopping time and time again, you still laugh every single time at the candy dicks in that one store. and the obnoxious animal masks in the one diagonal from it. nothing beats taking stupid pictures together wearing realistic wolf masks in a mall.

as you were walking around with mark, hands brushing together every few steps, you noticed him zero in on a particular display in the window of a clothing store. there were matching spiderman shirts displayed. of course that nerd noticed them from so far away.

“you want those?” you gestured to the shirts, a smile on your face.

“well. isn’t it kind of…” he trailed off, cheeks reddening again. you could get used to that, he looked unnervingly cute when he was embarrassed. 

“kind of?” 

“it’s kind of couple-y.” he muttered, barely loud enough for you to hear. he was just so cute.

“what’s the problem with that? if it’s cute, it’s cute.” you grabbed onto his hand, tugging him towards the store.

“you don’t think it’s weird?” stupid question for him to ask, as you’re dragging him in to buy them, but you digress.

“no, i don’t think it’s weird to buy matching shirts with you mark. i think it’s cute.” 

it took no time to find the shirts in the store, quickly picking out your respective sizes and taking them up to the counter. when the time came to pay, you saw mark reaching into his wallet to pull out his own money, but not before you levelled him with a stern look and pushed his hands back down.

“hey hey hey, you are not paying. remember, you’re my princess today, mark lee. put your wallet away.”

his eyes widened (cute). he obediently pocketed his wallet, watching in stunned silence as you paid and thanked the cashier, grabbing mark’s hand again to direct him out of the store.

“i kind of like it when you’re assertive..” he was quiet when he said it, almost like he didn’t quite want you to hear it. his bad, though, because you were far too observant about anything he did.

“yeah? you like getting bossed around?” you shot him a wink, laughing when he tore his hand out of your grip in shock.

“i didn’t mean it like that.” the shock in his tone was evident, only causing you to laugh harder.

“you didn’t?”

he stared at you, seeming to be building up confidence. “maybe i did. maybe i didn’t. there’s only one way to find out i guess.” he schooled his tone into nonchalance. he was blushing (again) though. he really was an open book, at least to you.

“look who’s being bold now! mark lee, i didn’t know you had it in you!” you hit his shoulder lightly, smiling widely as you two made your way to the food court. 

“i’m a surprising person.” he shrugged. 

“are you saying there’s more where that came from?” you glanced over at him, grinning at this newfound confidence.

“that’s exactly what i’m saying.” there was a challenge in his eyes, one that you were about to mirror. that is, until the sound of mark’s phone buzzing in his pocket suddenly cuts through the conversation. 

you raise an eyebrow but brush it off, figuring it’s just an unimportant call. but when the buzzing persists, you can see the way he hesitates, eyes flicking to the phone in his pocket. it's not like him to avoid a call to this extent. you wait for him to take it, but something in his demeanor feels off.

you glance at him. "you gonna get that?"

mark hesitates, his hand hovering over his pocket, before he quickly reaches for his phone. it’s almost too fast. but before he can even pull it out, it rings again, louder this time. his face visibly tightens, and for a split second, you see him struggle with whether to answer or not. you watch his fingers curl into a fist, then release, as he takes the phone from his pocket.

"are you not going to answer it?" you ask, trying to sound casual, but there’s an edge in your voice now. something feels wrong.

"i’ll just—" he mutters, his voice faltering. "it’s not important."

you raise an eyebrow, a little taken aback by his sudden nervousness. you try to suppress the sharp, uncomfortable feeling creeping up your spine, but something isn’t sitting right. "who is it? you’re acting weird. are you sure you’re okay?"

the phone buzzes again, and this time, his face pales. he immediately silences it, but not before you catch a glimpse of a message notification from jaemin. your breath catches. 

“you said you’d call me tonight. you can’t keep avoiding me, mark. we need to talk.”

a chill runs down your spine as the words echo in your mind. we need to talk… what does that mean?

mark quickly shoves the phone into his pocket, his hands visibly trembling now. you can see the guilt and discomfort flashing in his eyes. “it’s nothing. please, just forget about it.”

but you can’t just forget it. the message, the urgency, the way he’s been avoiding the call—it’s all wrong. your thoughts race, and suddenly, all the doubts you had been pushing aside start to surface. you thought things were going well, but now... everything feels like it might be falling apart before it even started.

“mark,” you say, your voice soft but firm, “who is that? why does he keep calling you like this?”

mark opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. his jaw tightens, and for a moment, it’s like he’s completely frozen. you can feel the space between you two growing, like a wall slowly building.

“i just…” he finally says, his voice strained, “i didn’t want to complicate things. we’re going in a really good direction. i really like you. i didn’t want you to think—” his words falter. 

you feel your chest tighten, the pieces clicking together in an uncomfortable way. of course now he tries to save himself with a confession. the moment you had been building up for, achieved after an ex(?) is trying to reach out to mark.

you take a step back, your hand instinctively pulling away from his. “i can’t do this right now, mark. i thought we were going in a good direction too."

his face crumples, his eyes widening with a mix of panic and guilt. “i didn’t mean to keep things from you. i swear. it’s just… complicated. jaemin and i—”

you raise your hand, cutting him off before he can finish “no. you don’t get to do this, mark. you don’t get to confess and then go on about your relationship with someone else. it’s not fair.”

mark’s eyes are filled with regret, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re standing there, feeling betrayed, alone in your confusion.

the phone buzzes one last time, and this time, you don’t even look at it. you’ve seen enough.

“i think i need some space,” you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. you turn away from him, your stomach churning, heart aching. you can feel the weight of the unspoken words in the air, and you can’t breathe under it anymore.

mark doesn’t stop you. he doesn’t even try to reach for you this time.

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⊹₊⟡⋆ mel's corner: happy holidays guys hahaha

© susicheng .. please do not copy, reupload, or translate my work

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[chameleonwritess]

Okay I accidentally got the flambé insanity out of my system on my enstars spam Instagram but I’m still gonna scream about ibayuzu bc I NEED TO….

Listen, I may say things about how awful they are for each other and like ‘lol ibayuzu is their bad ending’ because I love me some toxic yaoi, but hear me out: nah it’s not actually all that toxic OR bad for them, they just need to SIT DOWN AND COMMUNICATE WITHOUT THE DRAMATICS AND THE CONSTANT TRYING TO ONE UP EACH OTHER which is probably not gonna happen because they both love the dramatics and one upping each other too much

Now here’s why: pretty much the ONLY TIME we see Yuzuru get to be himself is when he’s talking to Ibara. Can you imagine how much of a relief it must be to him that FINALLY he can drop the act and SNAP at this Guy? Knowing that a) he can take it because he’s actively encouraged it and is already well aware of exactly how ruthless Yuzuru is capable of being and b) it’s not going to ruin his reputation or leak his background to any fans or higher ups because Ibara needs to keep their history just as secret at Yuzuru. Ibara is so so important to Yuzuru because as much as he can complain about how much he despises him…. He’s not even ALLOWED to express open distaste for anyone else- this is the one person he can be a bitch towards without fear or without having to cover up the bitchiness with feigned niceties (and Yuzuru is such a bitch at heart xoxo)

And now for Ibara. Yuzuru is one of the only people he can ALWAYS trust. He knows Yuzuru’s past, he knows Yuzuru’s mindset better than anyone else and he KNOWS he’s the only one who’s aware of how Yuzuru really feels and works, which gives him the comfort of knowing that Yuzuru isn’t gonna betray him. Yuzuru has nothing to gain from screwing him over and ruining his life or anything else. Sure he’s a thorn in his side when it comes to his sneaky tricks and schemes, but when it comes to being able to breathe freely and not have to battle every day of his life, afraid that everyone around him is just waiting for the opportunity to tear him down and send him right back into the battlefield, he knows that Yuzuru is safe. And I think he’s aware enough by now that Yuzuru does genuinely care about him- favourite pupil privileges and all that.

So basically, Flambé sent me insane because of the amount of mentions about their joint past and the way they instantly retort back to anything the other says. Yuzuru snarkily saying that Ibara must struggle to give gifts because he doesn’t care about anyone else (I smell resentment from the past. Why are you so convinced of that, Yuzuru? You know Ibara just wanted a safe haven- upset that wasn’t you? Upset he chose Nagisa over you???? Upset that he doesn’t care about you like you care about him??????????). We also have Ibara scheming in his own mind and WATCHING for Yuzuru’s reaction. Because Yuzuru doesn’t say anything. We just get a sprite of him narrowing his eyes. And suddenly Ibara’s like ‘haha he noticed! Just as I expected hehe! Can’t get away with anything with Yuzuru around!’… Ibara why are you watching? Why are you waiting and hoping he thwarts you????? (Lmao Perry and Doofenshmirtz ass dynamic) Ibara you don’t need to pretend to be evil just to get Yuzuru to stop you so you have an excuse to enjoy being an idol….. I mean, Yuzuru sees through it and is gonna enable that for you anyway but THERE WAS NO NEED I PROMISE!!

Ugh they make me insane. Read Flambé, y’all!!! It’s also one of my fave Rinne stories because I love love love when an all out over the top dramatic character gets to show a more subdued side and drop the mask for a bit- especially around a specific person (rinniki nation winning) (wow weird thing for the notorious wataei freak to comment on)

And I’m done byeeee

[zacki0gaming]

Season 2, Episode 4 Part 4 Rant (Final)

The Episode (Part 4)

On to the second half of the episode, we suddenly get a “boss fight” of Cyanide.

Pauses the episode

Me: Ok, I got some things to say about this. Firstly, throughout the boss fight, I notice actual coding that can be probably ciphered, which I’m not even gonna try. But thankfully, someone named @mzoyagon already posted the translation of it.

It reads:

"my name is cyanide" "who am i?" "what am i?" "am i good?" "am i bad?" "my name is cyanide" "my name is teal" "my name is cyanide" "my name is teal"

This cipher probably represents the themes of identity, duality, and moral ambiguity.

I’m finally gonna go ultra analysis on this.

"My name is Cyanide" / "My name is Teal": The alternating names symbolizes the coexistence of the duality or conflicting aspects. Cyanide (or as Teal now)as a corrupt may represent as harmful or destructive. This could be further summarized by her name and definition she initially analyzed in Season 1, Episode 9, saying it as a deadly chemical.

Alternatively, she can be viewed as a "deadly force" - a project created by her caretaker and boss, Dub. She was intended to be a weapon, as demonstrated in this episode when she prematurely matured into her mature form before going to start attacking Cyan and the other Heroes in “ATTACK MODE”. Or, this one sounds kind of dumb but, you might see Cyanide as “the devil herself” along with this because… She has the devil horns on her head, heheh…

As for Teal, (which is still Cyanide herself, but has a pure being now and with a different name) her pure self simply represent a more balanced and calmer side, such as not being dangerous to those around her anymore as a sign of peace for finally being a pure shape like the main Heroes (Cyan, Orange, Gold, and Tsavorite).

"Who am I?" / "What am I?": These simple, seemingly simplistic questions convey a sense of existential uncertainty. Cyanide appears to be grappling with an internal struggle, questioning not only her identity but also her essence and purpose.

This image goes with “Who Am I?” from the translation here above Cyan. It also further proves my point when Cyanide expresses a “question mark” on her face.

"Am I good?" / "Am I bad?": The two lines imply a moral conflict. Cyanide may be questioning her actions, intentions, or inherent nature, perhaps influenced by her duality ("Cyanide" and "Teal").

This image goes along with “Am I Good?”.

This cipher emphasizes the tension between these two identities. For instance, Cyanide's boss fight could mainly reflect her wrestling with the understanding of finding her true morality and identity.

Her path to her redemption keeps on getting cut out because of her corruption & appearance as a corrupt, naiveness, and the large amount of mistrust, mistreatment, or misjudgment from most of the good guys. All she wanted was to find her true self as it eventually leads to her being a purely cured hero.

But, here’s the main problem with this, which I will get into a bit.

Continues the episode

After Cyanide gets purified back into her supposed pure counterpart, which she starts system rebooting herself. Cyan, in shock, says if he actually did do it, which Tsavorite expresses so much excitement by throwing Cyan up into the air before catching him.

Pauses the episode

Me: OH WOW! The entire boss level method works SO. DAMN. WELL. That entire dumb Tree of Life purification method that Gold previously did for his caretaker, Pyrare was for nothing here to just cause... AN ERROR and have Tsavorite literally waste a part of his tree’s power while trying to cure Cyanide!

And you know what, chat? Wanna know the whole subplot for Cyanide's overall character arc here, everyone in my opinion….? Let's contextually ham-fist "The Woobie Trope" into a corrupted hero, who hates being a corrupt and trying to make every effort not to act malevolently or harm others as possible, while getting constant mistrust, mistreatment, or misjudgment from most of the other characters, and almost being painfully naïve for like S1 EP 9-10 to S2 E1 & 4.

I’M NOT JOKING! The resolution of this arc, felt unearned or overly convenient. Her internal struggle gets abruptly solved in an astonishingly simplistic manner, thanks to Cyan's intervention. The entire establishment for it just feels like such a damn cop out to make look way too fucking easy. For some reason, I fought at first that Cyanide was gonna be unusually unable to be uncorrupted. BUT NO! It gets so suddenly solved by having that entire Tree of Life method become instantly pointless here just for it to be so easily fixed by Cyan's heroic non-newbie skills through the "boss level method"!

Continues the episode

Gold says that he guesses Cyanide doesn’t need the Green’s tree, which Orange also replied about it too. After Cyanide “Power On” herself, she gasped while saying if she was actually uncorrupted, while looking at her new appearance.

Pauses the episode

Me: I’m just realizing something. The main reason why it didn’t work was because she was born from the Cyan Tree instead of the Green one. Maybe if they would’ve done it with the Cyan tree instead of Tsavorite’s, than it would have probably worked.

Continues the episode

Cyan zooms over to Cyanide and asks her how she’s feeling, to which Cyanide says she’s feeling euphoric. Tsavorite, while still excited about her finally being a part of the family, he and Cyan asked Cyanide what they and the others would call her. After Cyanide starts thinking about what new name she should be called, she then tells the others that her name is now “Teal”.

Tsavorite says the name, Teal fits perfect for her and is officially now part of the family. Teal than thanks Circubit again for his help before the screen goes to black. The scene starts to move the camera to the Royal Graveyard, which we see the Reaper (La Danse Macabre) themselves. Circubit finally shows up and was happy to see the Reaper (La Danse Macabre) still here at the graveyard and wants to ask them for a favor.

Pauses the episode

Me: OK, I wanna tell you something that I found out from the Reaper (La Danse Macabre)’s official appearance here. I recently remember a user named, @pavtriobnal that sums up it’s entire appearance in this image perfectly. It legitimately looks like a fucking SPUNKI OC. I’m not kidding, like am I wrong on this? 🤣🤣

Continues the episode

The Reaper (La Danse Macabre) asks about the favor, saying that it better be something than resurrection. Circubit replies to the Reaper about having the resurrection part only be preferable to only himself and then says it’s something else that he wants.

Circubit asks the Reaper for a request to corrupt a caretaker, in which the Reaper questions him about which caretaker he’s referring to. Circubit answers that it’s Iris himself, while unbeknownst to the duo, they are being spied on by the Bossfight Group, Cintagon and Circumsphere.

Cintagon says, “Oh my god” before asking Circumsphere about the reason for revisiting his homeland. Circumsphere tells him that he had a hunch that the reaper would be a problem due to the Pink Corruption Virus, and saying he didn’t expect Circusic would be revived of all shapes, implying to the dead spheres in the graveyard.

Circumsphere tells Cintagon that they need to return to the Spheral Village to warn the others as possible before the credits shown.

The Episode finally concludes here

Final Verdict

Ok, now for the final verdict for Season 2, Episode 4 as a whole. I’m gonna unfortunately gonna give this a 4/10. Season 2 is… Really starting off to a pretty bad start for me in my opinion in the first 4 episodes…

Cons

Most of the episode was like a poorly constructed Cyanide-focused installment. Nothing else... Circubit’s return was handled clumsily, seemingly shoehorned out of no where without proper buildup or context. His sudden reappearance, coupled with the introduction of his new ability to allow himself to control between as a pure or corrupted shape, felt contrived and poorly integrated. His return is basically wanting us too see how the fucking catalyst for Cyanide's prematurity will go. But, this transformation left it's execution left so much to be desired just for it to immediately go away in this episode.

Additionally, the lack of explanation regarding Circusic’s abrupt reversion from Season 2, Episode 2, which inexplicably led to his sudden change back into his corrupted counterpart in the opening scene was just a bizarre oversight to watch. Unless, you guys provide possible theories like me on WHY it happened in the first place. But, there was no clarity or context provided for this shift.

Heroes are about to start swearing, which is just generally uncomfortable. Circubit unintentionally teaching Cyanide the swear word, "Asshole", even though the duo doesn't care, which is just totally unnecessary for cheap, lazy humor for the series (although some of you people will probably find it funny or not).

Cyanide’s (now Teal) character arc has been profoundly underwhelming. The progression from a kind yet overly naïve corrupt, mistreated and dismissed by those around her for three consecutive episodes, to a sudden desire for change, feels poorly executed. This shift, culminating in that subplot being resolved abruptly within this episode, comes across as a rushed and lazy decision.

Pros

Now onto pros, which they are at least a few.

Cyanide’s boss level was actually interesting, especially going along with the cipher analysis for her character. Even though like I said, the execution isn’t good enough for me.

It is somewhat intriguing to observe Circubit creating a specific task by the Reaper creature, aiming to corrupt Iris for reasons that remain unclear—possibly as an act of revenge or for some other purpose. It could be potentially good for this development to open a door for an actual plotline to explore the dynamic between Iris and his corrupted counterpart. Such as, diving into what he's soul realm will look like, revealing his counterpart's motivations. Or, maybe perhaps even exposing hidden insecurities that Iris harbors but conceals from those around him like how Cubic expose Cube's insecurity on his caretaking skills to his hero, Cyan since Season 1, Episode 3. (But, I don't know, considering his unlikability).

The Bossfight Group is set to return in the next episode, most likely airing somewhere next year for Season 2, Episode 5. We get a bit of additional depth of Circumsphere's character, as he reveals to Cintagon his awareness of Circusic and the Reaper Creature, even though I expecting more here. It is also possible that Circumsphere and Circusic may have once been acquaintances or even former friends.

So yeah, this episode is way worse than simply receiving a present filled with black coal on a warm, Christmas morning.

Anyway, HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

[majunju]

(right > left) gentleman

[fisheito]

You know who you remind me of? Helga Pataki.

Please tell me you (or somebody else) gets the reference 😂

anon u turned my world to static with that namedrop

on the list of things i did NOT expect to happen ,because hUH??: someone dragging [hey arnold] into my tiny nuca inbox

[sysig]

Guess who :3c (Patreon)

[an-assortment-of-forks]

there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.

[radgeorgie]

had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[prozach27]

.

[kellystar321]

.

[ozlices]

i have to make appointments & also let my doctor know id rather continue one of the new meds she put me on bc it actually helped but ive been completely unmedicated for 2 fucking days & the thought of doing Anything makes me wanna throw up im so over being a person

[1eeminho]

not to rant on here again but how can my uni justify having exams that arent comparable but will get people the same degree. like. my friend and i are both getting a masters in psych and we can choose three modules out of five available ones. we did the same except for one module. for the one he chose he had such a simple exam where the prof mostly talked to himself, asked easy questions and he got the best grade comfortably (ofc he prepared but it was comparably comfortable). now for me i have the hardest fucking exam in my entire uni career, the prof expects us to be Experts in this field she has made multiple people cry before in her exams and its So Much Input that i have to study all while this grade weighs the same as my friends grade in the easy module like ???????? how can this happen fr how can they let exams be so biased. their entire grading system is bullshit

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I think the reader's response to this post is probably going to either be "That's incredibly minor" or "Holy shit YES I'M ALSO PROUD", depending on people's personal experiences with academia, but:

Today I am incredibly proud of one of my students.

In the interests of disguising identities, let's call them Ceri. Ceri is one of my third year undergrads (meaning their final year, for anyone unfamiliar with UK uni systems.) They transferred to us last year, and within two weeks I was giving them the contact info to get to Student Services and get themself screened for ADHD; they have some mental health struggles, but I clocked pretty quickly that they STRUGGLE with procrastination, and punctuality, and attending 9am lectures in particular. Naturally, as is the way of my people, it took them a further four months to remember to go to the screening. Lol. Lmao. Rofl, in fact.

But, they did it eventually! Their screening lit up like a Christmas tree at the ADHD section, and they got a free laptop and optional one week extensions and a study support worker named Claire. This has helped tremendously, and although mental health + until-then-unsupported ADHD meant their academic profile had slid sideways somewhat, with the new tools available and a couple of resits they passed the year and hit this year running.

Until, that is, the last fortnight.

Now, I take them for a Habitat Management module that has two assessments: an academic poster presentation before Christmas, and a site-specific management plan in May. Naturally this means we are at that happy point in the year for the poster presentations. I give out the briefs at the start of the year, so they've had them since October; I've also been periodically checking in with them all for weeks, to make sure they don't have any major burning questions. The poster presentation was to pick a species reintroduction project, pull the habitat feasibility study out of it, and then critique that study; Ceri chose to look at the hen harrier reintroductions proposed for the southern UK. All good.

Which brings us nicely to today! Ceri's presentation is scheduled for 2.30. At 11am-1pm, I am lecturing the first years on Biodiversity, while Ceri is learning about environmental impact assessment with a colleague I shall call Aeron. This means we are separately occupied during those same hours.

Nevertheless, Aeron messages me at about 12.

"I think Ceri needs to see you after your lecture," he writes. "They're panicking, I genuinely think they might cry. I'm worried. Are you free at 1?"

I say I am. At 1, I get lunch and sit in the common area; Ceri comes to see me. To my personal shame, imagine all of the following takes place while I stuff my face with potato.

Now: this part is going to be uncomfortably familiar to anyone who has ever tried higher education with ADHD, especially unmedicated. It certainly was for me. All I can say is, I never had the courage to take the step here that Ceri did.

"I have to confess," they said quietly, and Aeron was right, they were fighting back tears. "My mental health has been so, so bad for the last fortnight. I've left it way, way too late. I don't have anything to present."

"Nothing at all?" I asked.

"I've been researching," they said helplessly. "I found loads on the decline of the hen harrier. But it wasn't until last night that I finally found a habitat feasibility study to critique. Generally... I've been burying my head about it, and it just got later and later. I thought I should come in for Aeron's lecture, and I should at least tell you."

This part is a minor thing, right? But honestly, I remember being in the grip of that particular shame spiral. I never did manage to tell my lecturers to their faces. I just avoided. I honestly can't imagine having the courage it took them to come in and tell me this, rather than just staying home and avoiding me.

"I think..." they said hesitantly, "I know I can submit up to a week late, for a capped mark. I think I need to do that, and apply for extenuating circumstances. But then I'll have both Aeron's assignment and yours due at the same time."

Which meant they would crumble under the pressure and likely struggle to pass both; so me, being as noble and heroic as I unarguably am, stopped eating potato and said, "Let's make that plan B."

(It was good potato. I am a hero.)

So, we made plan A: I moved their timeslot to 4.30, giving them three and a half hours. The shining piece of luck in this whole thing was that this was the crunch time assignment - if it had been Aeron's, they'd have had to try and write a 3000 report in that time. But for me, all they had to write was an academic poster, and those things are light on words by design. We found them a Canva template, and then we quickly sketched out a recommended structure based on the brief: if it's habitat feasibility, look at food availability, nesting site availability, and mortality risks in the target release site. Bullet point each. Bullet point how well the study assessed each. Write a quick intro and conclusion. Take notes as you go, and present the poster itself at 4.30.

"You think I should try?" they asked doubtfully, looking like I'd just asked them to go mano-a-mano with a feral badger.

"If you run out of time, so be it," I said. "But your brain is trying to protect you from a non-existent tiger. That's why you've procrastinated - it's been horrible, and you've been shame spiralling, and your brain is trying to shield you from the negative experience; but it's the wrong type of help for this situation! So while you're sitting there working on it, hating life, every time your brain goes 'This is hopeless, I can't do it', you think right back 'Yes I can, it just sucks.' And you carry on. Good?"

"Good," they said. "I'm going to mainline coffee and hole up in the library. Enjoy your potato."

And then, of course, I had to go and watch the other students' presentations, so that was the end of me being any help at all. I spent all afternoon wondering if they were going to manage it, or if I would be getting a message at 4.25 telling me they'd failed, and would have to submit late and hope for an EC.

And Tumblrs

Tumblrs

Let me FUCKING tell you

They turned up at 4.15, fifteen minutes early, wearing a mask of grim, harrowed determination and fuelled by spite and coffee, and they pulled up that poster and started presenting and yes, okay, I'll admit their actual delivery was dramatically unpolished and yes, they forgot to include the taxanomic name for the hen harrier on the poster and yes, fine, I admit that there were more than a few awkward moments where they lost their place in their hastily scribbled notebook but LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU -

They smashed it. It was well-critiqued, it had a map, it had full citations, it had a section on the hen harrier's specific ecology and role in the ecosystem, it had notes on their specific conservation measures. They described case studies they'd read about elsewhere. They answered the questions we threw at them with competence and depth. There was analysis. All that background research they'd done came right to the fore. They were even within the time limit by 15 seconds.

You would never have known they'd produced it in three hours, from a quivering and terrified mess fighting the bodily urge to dehydrate via tear ducts. After they left, the second marker and I looked at each other and went "So that was a 2:1, right?"

I caught up with Aeron downstairs and he was beaming. Apparently Ceri had seen him on their way out, and had gone over to talk to him. Aeron said the difference between the Ceri of this morning and the Ceri of then was like two different people; in four hours, they'd gone from their voice literally breaking as they admitted the problem, ashamed and broken, to being relaxed and happy and smiling.

"I reckon I've passed," they apparently told Aeron, pleased. "Maybe even a 2:2. There's things I wish I'd had the time to do better, but I'll be happy if I passed."

They won't know until late January what they got, because we're not allowed to release marks until 20 term days after hand-in, and the Christmas holidays are about to hit. But I'm really hoping I can be there when they're released.

But mostly, I'm just... insanely proud of them. I cannot tell you how happy I am. And I know, I know, obviously this is not a practice I would want to see them do regularly, or indeed ever again, and it only worked because they were fucking lucky with the assignment format, but like... when life is just punching you in the face, and you hit a breaking point... isn't it nice? That just this once, you pull off a miracle, and it's fixed? The disaster you thought was about to ruin you is gone? To get that relief?

Anyway. Super super proud today.

[curryshesus]

jeon jungkook fics that had me going feral

hi guys, here's a part 2 to my favorite jjk fics on tumblr! note that many of these fics contain 18+ content. you are responsible for the content you consume! as always, if you enjoyed any of these fics as much as i did, please take a moment to send some love to the authors! part 1 | other bts members

➺ cold nights & blurred lines - by @awrkive

summary: jungkook and you have been in a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.

➺ night crawlers - by @alphabetboyluvr

summary: jungkook’s always been good at running. track, field, red lights, shit outta luck. drugs, now, too. but he doesn’t expect to run into you. in your shared lecture halls, sure. maybe. but not down the back alleys of daerim at ass o’clock in the morning. there are only three types of women he ever sees in daerim: hookers, sugar-babies and addicts. you aren't any of those; you're a trust-fund baby who can get percocet on private repeat prescription, if you really want it. he's sure of it. so it then further begs the question: why the fuck are you here?

➺ this is how you fall in love - by @jeonqkooks

summary: after years of drinking and clubbing most days of the week and leaving every gig with a different girl on his arm, jungkook feels what it’s like to want someone with his entire being.

➺ the dilf installments - by @mercurygguk

summary: this series follows jungkook’s life as a divorced father. but wait, how exactly does one balance being a father, a boyfriend, a friend, and a respectable boss at the same time? read the installments below to find out!

➺ ultimatum - by @parkmuse

summary: your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).

➺ a hero's journey - by @hansolmates

summary: jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story

➺ tempest - by @kooktrash

summary: you’ve always considered your life to be more mundane than you would like to admit. it was a constant cycle of the same things over and over again that when you meet jeon jungkook at a bar, of all places, you didn’t expect to see just how much he would change your life and those around you. he’s got an air of mystery around him with his charming good looks and a violent past that you slowly begun to unravel when it feels like everything is going perfect.

➺ by its cover - by @gimmesumsuga

summary: the one where Jungkook makes a horrifically bad first impression.

➺ slow dancing - by @yoonia

summary: when your countdown appeared on your wrist right in the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

➺ e s p r e s s o - by @joonberriess

➺ hold me closer - by @ahundredtimesover

summary: when you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though.

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.