#now she’s crying because she lost her child too
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aixeko · 2 days ago
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/// TD;LR Erise hating on Trailblazer x Kafka [ Includes both genders, idgaf I HATE THEM ALL ] and the random slander against Childe, Aventurine and Ayato
I hate Trailblazer x Kafka with my ENTIRE SOUL. I thought I would hate Kafka and blade more considering he's heavily implied to be gay but nope.
LIKE LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE HER KIDS THEY'RE OUR KIDS. SHE BIRTHED THOSE RACCOONS. Fun fact: I had a raccoon obsession since 2022 and have been referred and symbolised as a raccoon by my friends plus my LOVE for classic music Like they're literally my children and wife 😕😕
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"But Kafka called them her destiny" SHUT UP. LOOK CLOSELY. REALLY CLOSELY.
THE GAME SUPPORTS HER BEING A MOTHER FIGURE COUNTLESS TIMES. (It's the middle of the night if I must, I would continue rambling when I'm awake)
I hate the amount of art I see of them and cry inside a little when it's genuinely good art too. Like Himeko is RIGHT THERE. Leave Caelus and Stelle to firefly and march (Dan Heng too ig) omg 😭 call me possessive idc, Kafka deserves better... Himeko the only one and best choice for Kafka right now. This is coming from someone who was loud and proud about being a kafhime hater btw, I'm a changed person now. They're my darlings, I love them both to death. Literally, ahem hime ahem.
I can tolerate it enough but don't ever shove any piece of media regarding Trailblazer x Kafka into my face else I will go on a lost ass essay about the many reasons why they're so... DISTASTEFUL. They even beat my hatred for Childe, Aventurine, and Ayato (Don't come at me, it's just projection, except Ayato.) which is a great feat considering the absolute disgust I feel towards them. <- has toned down lately because of kafblaze, whatever the ship name is
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rabiesofficial · 5 months ago
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The way women are encouraged to have children as soon as possible + lack of social services + motherhood regret stigma really does set up kids to die. Some of these women should have never been moms, now that they are they don’t even have anywhere to turn to. So many cases of child neglect that end in injury or death that could have been prevented if things weren’t set up the way they are.
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running-in-the-dark · 8 months ago
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cuteniaarts · 7 months ago
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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apollo-zero-one · 2 years ago
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I wish capitalism was a tangible object I could bite and claw at I start foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog when I think about it gwrrwhrwgwwrgwr
#my mom shouldn't have to have a job she is busy all goddamn day every goddamn day taking care of her mom and her 6 year old child#and she takes care of me and my brother and her husband this woman is exhausted#and she makes us breakfast and dinner every day and she watches all the neighborhood kids and and and#she is already fulfilling an extremely valuable roll in society!! why the FUCK should she have to have a job too!!#not even going to say 'outside the home' because her job IS OUTSIDE THE HOME she contributes to this whole damn community#It's BULLSHIT it's UNFAIR she deserves justice#and it's also bullshit and unfair that a household with three workinh adults cant afford a 4 bedroom family home.#We collectively make enoigj money that we lost our fucking health insurance and are being kicked out of our subsidized housing#But there are no homes anywhere near any of our jobs that we can afford so WHAT THE FUCK#and every part of it is capitalism and I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it#Is the purpose of life not to find and be with wnd care for loved ones?? are humans not born to love and be loved and help one another??#what went wrong? why did we let it get this far? why are we taking a mother away from her 6 year old daughter so she can afford#both of their medicines that they need to live healthy lives???#A caretaker away from a disabled elderly woman? A safe person to leave your children with away from the village? Why the goddamn divide??#sorry there was ten minutes begween that tag and this one because I had to cry I am calmer now#still heavily anti-capitalist tho
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kyntypes · 10 days ago
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"I'm a therian, but even this is too much!"
"This is clinical lycanthropy..." (is a video of a child crying, saying she wishes she were a cat. Literally not related to clinical lycanthropy whatsoever.)
"I'm a therian, but we don't act like that!!!"
"I may be a therian, but..."
SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.
I have lost every ounce of respect for you as a creature. You should be ashamed of yourself. They don't deserve your rudeness, you deserve it. There's no way you used your identity to try to "look better" by acknowledging someone else is "weirder" than you, and therefore more credible for being the "better weird one". You're nothing but a bully. You're nothing but just like the people you claim to hate (anti-therians). You are JUST like them. No excuses.
Fun fact, you are NOT better than the therian that does quads simply because you claim "quads are too weird lol!111!!!1!!!!" You are NOT better than the therian that has a common theriotype. You are NOT better than ANYBODY for being what you are as a nonhuman.
In my eyes, you are anti-therian if you don't support all therians and how they experience their identity. Point-blank. I don't care. You're just an anti-therian. How can you say "I support therians!" yet make fun of another therian for wishing they were their theriotype??? Nonhuman bullies try not to piss me the fuck off challenge.
This is in heavy regards to the young therian I saw on my timeline crying about not being the same species as her pet cat. I am so sorry that the world, especially the internet, is so cruel to you. Even if you never see this post, I still see you for what you are. You are a cat to me. Even if everyone else says otherwise, you. are. a. cat. I see what you truly are. Your body doesn't match, but that doesn't change what you are. I feel so sorry for her. I'm so sorry that you are so young, and are experiencing such terrible lashings from bullies. You are a valid therian, and you aren't "crazy", "messed up", or delusional. You are being yourself, and people can't handle that. I'm so sorry.
Edit: Found out it was satire, and now I'm a bit more peeved. I can't believe I fell for that (it was convincing, at least to me, not going to lie). Looks like I'm just going to be blocking myself entirely out of the TikTok side of the therian community for my own sanity. You can't even tell who's acting in good faith or not.
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stars-for-circe · 9 months ago
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Baby Fever
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Support Palestine
Tags/cw: PURE smut, breeding/pregnancy kink, tribbing, oral sex, fingering, overstimulation, fluff
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Imagine having baby fever, after seeing the cutest video of a sleepy toddler while on that part of your cycle. And imagine bringing it up to Ellie while you're both cuddling on the couch. Imagine how when you mumble out your thoughts, "Wanna make a baby, Els..." your face is snuggled into her chest as she does a double take and gasps so hard she starts coughing - surely she didn't hear that right.
"W-what?" She would finally stutter out, both surprised and entirely horny because of what you just proposed to her. And you would sit up, hands against her chest and a leg around her waist to look at her directly. And with how she was only wearing boxers and an opened flannel, looking outrageously attractive, you couldn't help but start begging for it.
"I wanna have a baby, want you to put one in me right now." And it has to be the fucking hormones, what with how you look like you're in pain from being denied your wish. You could seriously cry right now if Ellie doesn't fix it right this instant.
"But we- we can't even..." Brows furrowed, she'd look up at your puppy dog eyes and pause for a moment. And even though she knows its not gonna fucking work even if she tried-
Fuck, the thought of you, bright and happy and holding her baby, and the thought of watching you knowing you're carrying her child and no one else’s, and knowing that she fucked you so hard that she somehow knocked you up -
"You want me to give you a baby, baby?" She'd murmur, eyes trailing down and falling on your lips, a lazy smile forming on her own.
The way you begin to nod eagerly - desperately almost - at even the slightest sign that she'll agree, makes her huff out a laugh at the stupidness of this all. But she'd be lying if she said the thought didn't have an effect on her.
"C'mon, lay down for me." Ellie would say softly, having her way with you. She'd take her time, too, kissing your lips as a start, before trailing them down your body as she slowly flips you below her. She'd simply make you even needier for it by teasing, brushing her mouth against your collarbone and sucking tiny little lovebites into your skin.
You almost become complacent under her touch, relishing in how her hands trail up your torso and bring your shirt up with them, before finally resting them on your boobs - her hands going higher as her mouth travels lower. And just before her mouth meets the part of you that is aching for her touch, she softly pinches and rolls each nipple between her fingers, eliciting a long, quiet whine from you.
“Ellie-”
“Shhh, I know, I know...” Her voice soothes you as she speaks against your hipbone, before finally pulling your cotton shorts to the side. For a moment she doesn't move, just staring down your body, letting out a small "Fuck...". Then, a small kiss against your clit, barely grazing it, but with enough pressure to make you buck your hips into her face.
God, she missed this. Even if it was just last night that she had you under her like this, but still. She groaned softly into you, fully lost in your taste, your smell, how you were already so wet that it seeped through your underwear and onto her lips, just from a kiss against it. It was as if your roles switched, because now it was Ellie who was desperate, and already drunk on you.
She pulled your underwear to the side and immediately sunk her face into your pussy, tongue messily swirling around your clit, sucking and slurping and tasting every part of you that she could reach with her mouth. Each broken moan you let out only spurred her on to do more, trying to bury her head between your legs, making nasty little smacking noises from her lips sucking against your pussy.
She had to feel you cum against her mouth or she would die, Ellie thought. She wanted you seeing stars by the end of this, only being able to say her name, think of her, her voice, her tongue. She'd make sure you remembered that very well, proving her point by sliding her tongue down, down, down and inside your pussy, thrusting it languidly while replacing where it once was with her thumb.
And it was all so wet for her, too slippery for her thumb to make calculated movements, and instead resorting to messy, uneven rubs against your aching, puffy clit. Her eyes were closed, she was pussy drunk and making noises in tandem with your own as she ate you out. It could have been hours like this - for all she cared - and she still wouldn't have gotten tired of having her head between your legs. As she kept going, she felt your thighs squeeze around her head, your moans turning squeaky and loud and staggered. She heard you plead more and more, "pleasepleaseplease- gonna cum Els-"
She paused, pulling away.
"No."
"What?" You whispered, hazy and confused at being denied your orgasm. Frustrated, you looked down at your girlfriend, only to be met with her looking annoyed, brows furrowed and staring hard at your face.
"Ellie, what-"
"You want a baby, yea? You wanted me to put a baby in you?" You froze for a moment, remembering what initially started this, and nodded. She waited for a moment, before getting off you entirely, tugging your shorts down harshly, all the way off your legs.
"Then m'gonna give you one, kay?" And maybe it was because you just got edged nine ways to hell, but your head cleared up a little. You realised how stupid this was, how it wouldn't even be possible - no matter how hard you wanted it. But with how desperate Ellie looked about this, just ripping the flannel off her shoulders (thank god it was already unbuttoned), tugging her boxers until it was just barely hanging limply on one of her ankles...
"kay..." You nodded.
And then it was silence, no talking, no questions or quips or anything. It was just Ellie shuffling closer and slotting herself between your legs, sinking herself against your clit oh so desperately and then the silence was broken, as you both gasped and whined and moaned at the feeling of her fucking against you, and you her.
“S-shit, you- youfeelsogood-”
“Ellie please don’t stop-”
“M’not- not gonna stop I promise- I gotta make you a mama, m’gonna make you a mama promise I-”
And between every noise you both let out you could just hear how wet everything was, her cunt sloshing against yours, the clicking and squelching so fucking loud from how fast your hips were moving against hers. The clear strings of slick being pulled and broken between the two of you as Ellie rutted back and forth almost turning white, spreading to your thighs and lower stomach. It was so fucking dirty, aimless and haphazard, even. Most of the time her thrusts didn't even connect, just harshly gliding past your clit, providing a vague, rough pleasure all around instead of in one spot only.
But Ellie wasn't looking for precision or rhythm or anything like that, for fucks sake. She wasn't focusing on any of the niceties that came with fucking her girlfriend. All she was focused on, all she could be focused on, was how you damn near begged her to give you a baby. And how she was gonna make it fucking happen.
And it was everywhere, now. All your wetness, her's, too. Even the couch below you was soaking from how much she was grinding against you, and only getting faster as Ellie crept closer and closer to cumming. She could feel you getting closer, as well. She could see your eyes closing and scrunching as your moans got higher and faster once again. She could feel your legs twitching, resisting the urge to close around her waist.
"Can feel you, baby. Gonna cum, yea?" She panted out breathlessly, watching as you nodded arched your back.
"P-please, baby. Pleasepleaseplease- fuck you gotta cum for me-" And it was her turn now, to scrunch up her eyes and make a little 'o' with her mouth, as her grinding turned sloppy when she came against your pussy. She pushed down hard against you, barely even able to move her still-quivering hips while she shook and shivered above you, going just long enough to get you to cum, as well.
She kept moving, despite the overstimulation like a live wire against her, despite how red and puffy her own clit was, still rubbing against yours. And by which time you were all fucked out and dizzy and seeing stars, even whimpering from it all.
"S'too much, Els..."
"I-I know, I just gotta-"
"Just- I can’t-"
"Fuck, okay." She finally relented, pulling away from you and resisting the urge to keep going. She leaned against the side of the couch as you both regained your breath, watching you with a fucked out look in your eyes. She looked deep in thought again, as her own eyes trailed down your body. Suddenly, she leaned down, her hands now dangerously close to your sensitive pussy.
"ohhhfuckk-" Her fingers trailed up and down your slit, collecting every single wet spot that remained, and stuffed it all back inside your pussy.
"Baby we- I- shit, it needs to take, we gotta make sure it works- needs to fucking work." She rambles out, eyes wide and fixated on the slick dribbling out of you as she pushed her fingers in further.
"Baby..." You moaned out, trying to reason with her as her touches almost became unbearable from the overstimulation. She looked up at you, ministrations stopping for a moment as she noticed your pleading eyes. Ellie bit her lip as she thought about it for a moment, before slipping her fingers out. She went quiet as she sat back up, looking like a sad puppy getting scolded when her eyes met yours.
"But- I just......."
"One day, I promise, kay?" And you smiled at how she almost beamed at that. And you might have even matched her expression with how much you wanted it too, but later, when you both were ready.
"Kay." She said, leaning over to kiss you softly. And you stayed like that for a while, the afternoon sun shining through the living room and basking the two of you in a special warmth. And you both indulged, having small talks on what names you would choose, what the nursery would look like, whose nose it would get.
All for the one day, when you both were ready.
Taglist: @happysparklingshadows @irelandzo @r3starttt @iamaboringrattat @genderfluidlesbain999 @slut4mascss @rxreaqia @kylorey25 @massivepeacefemme @elliewilliamsfavborderhopper @jayssketchbook @elliewilliamsisactuallymygf @ratdungeon @elxarw @mariasabanahabanabana @vvynia @abbyshands
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raysrambles · 5 days ago
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on the day the election results got announced, one of my friends wasn't at school. she was the friend that I had the most classes with, and I remember as the hours ticked by the painful knowledge that she wasn't sick, not physically, but that she just couldn't bear to be there that day.
i overheard classmates talking. "how are you?" asked one; in a broken voice, another: "I don't know".
"I'm scared," was the most common sentence I heard that day. "i can't live like this," said someone in the hallway; "we've still got each other," said another in what I desperately wanted to believe was hope.
"I prayed last night for the first time since I was five," said a friend of a friend; I looked out the classroom window at the cloudy sky and wondered if there was a god, and if he had heard them.
I watched people break down crying in the middle of class. by the end of the day, several kids had left school early.
"I need to get out of here," I said to my friends at lunch. "we're not going to make it another four years," said one of them grimly. how dystopian, how orwellian was it that a group of seventeen year olds were so casually discussing their escape from the country they had grown up in, the country that had raised them only to throw them to the dirt before they were even able to vote?
after school i drove to another school for a debate tournament. one of the judges who I hadn't seen in a year and with whom I'd only had one or two conversations came up to me and asked "how are you doing?"
"could be better," I admitted, "but I'm surviving." that was a bit of an understatement; there were tears in my eyes even as I spoke.
"I'm here," she told me, this woman who I hardly knew, and I realized that she was asking because she remembered one of our only interactions, a year ago, where I had casually mentioned being trans--
--and her gaze flitted down to my shoes, where back then I had had beads in the colors of the trans flag, beads that weren't there anymore, not because of any change in myself but that of the world around me.
"I'm here," she said again, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. I managed a "thanks", not trusting myself to say anything else.
that night I went onto Instagram. someone I hadn't spoken to since we fell out over a year ago had texted me a simple "I love you and am with you" type of message. all of my friends and even people I hardly knew were posting about the election, and I remembered
back when Biden was elected, the Republicans I saw online reacted with hatred, disgust, doubt for his abilities
but now all I saw from the ones who had lost this battle was fear
when the other side lost, they had the privilege of hatred
now that we've lost, all we can do is fear.
terrified sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year olds, in flurries of messages to long-gone friends and frantic posts. I had never felt more united, and yet I could not relish in our closeness because I knew it was not the closeness of friends but the closeness of soldiers too young for war, huddling close as their imminent death rained down from the sky, searching for some last comfort at the end of their too-short stories.
"I won't pretend this isn't as bad as it is," I typed out, "honestly I'm freaking scared. But we owe it to ourselves not to let this be the end of our beliefs.
"We still know we're right, even if the government doesn't agree. We're still all in this together.
"Love to everyone who's affected by this. I'm right here with you. Stay safe everyone."
I posted the Instagram story, praying to a god I didn't know that the words were true.
the next night when the house and senate election results came in, I cried, and it was not pretty crying, it was a child wracked with sobs in the dark on the floor of their room because they were only seventeen and terrified for their future.
I spent a long time writing that night, something I do to process my thoughts when everything is too much. I will simply offer this passage, which I think speaks for itself.
"Shall I tell them I am afraid because of the election? Shall I tell them that all day I have felt like a child masquerading as a man, scared of the boogeyman as i am scared of the fascist-like creature whose grasp is tightening and whose claws never cease, closing in on lives like a predator its prey? That I am a child scared of insignificance, of a fate I did not choose, of becoming a meaningless name among many, not of democracy falling but of not being the one who felled it?"
So to everyone celebrating the election, I'm glad that you're happy, truly I am. But I ask you to think of me and my friends, still children, most of us not quite old enough to even have our say in this country, as you laugh and rejoice and mock all of us who you defeated.
How many times must we cry, must we fall, must we watch each other die before enough will be enough?
Will it ever be enough?
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mapis-putellas · 4 months ago
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Emotional support bunny
Pairing: Nat x you
Words: 1362
Warnings: none
Summary: you gift a stuffed bunny to Natasha on your one year anniversary. She adores it, names it, and promptly sleeps with it every single night. Well, that was until disaster strikes and bunny goes missing.
Notes: It’s been months. I have no explanation other than I’ve had some major writers block. I am, so sorry. And I hope this makes up for it.
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It was on your one year anniversary that you’d gifted it to her. A small, grey bunny adorned in a cute black t-shirt with the phrase, this is my emotional support bear written on the front. It was meant as a joke. At least, that’s how you intended it to be at first. She was Natasha Romanoff. The black widow. Why would the black widow want anything to do it’s something so childish?
But surprisingly, she’d been delighted, and she’d quickly given it a name. Tiny. Tiny the bunny. For the first few days, tiny had sat on her dresser next to a photograph of you and her together. Natasha would give it soft smile and fond touch as she passes, and that was that.
But then, tiny would appear in your bed. Just during that day at first, propped up against the pillows when neither of you were there. But then one night, after returning home from a mission with Yelena and Clint, you noticed tiny was neither on her dresser or propped up against the pillows.
Upon closer inspection, as you’d crawled into the bed next to her, you realised that the reason tiny wasn’t in either of his usual spaces was because he was held clutched to Natasha’s chest. Your heart immediately melts at the sight, and after pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, you’d laid down and pulled her close to your chest before too drifting off to sleep.
From that moment forward -with the occasional exception of course ;) - tiny was in your bed every single night. Sometimes Natasha cuddled him, and sometimes you would because Natasha liked him to smell of you. Natasha had never been too settled when it came to sleep. Insomnia, nightmares. You helped of course, but there was something about tiny that would settle her immediately. You guessed it had something to do with healing her inner child.
Tiny would soon start coming on missions too. Of course he remained safely hidden in her bag, out of sight and out of mind from everyone else, but knowing he was there often helped. A reminder of sorts that she always had a piece of you with her no matter where she went.
Everything was great. Until it wasn’t.
You see, Natasha had misplaced tiny before. Whether it be he’d slipped out of bed during one of her restless nights of sleep or he’d fallen to the bottom of her bag after forgetting he was there and unpacking everything but him. But she’d never completely lost him before. Or well, she hadn’t until now. And her reaction to losing him wasn’t anything like you expected.
You’d walked into the bedroom to see her clad in nothing but a shirt and underwear determinedly ripping the blankets off of your shared bed. The rest of the room was a mess too, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion as you pocket your phone and make your way over to her.
“Nat?” You question, reaching out to touch her arm.
She startles at the touch as she whips herself round to face you, and you hold up your arms to show her you meant no harm as you take a small step backwards. “Baby, what’s going on?” You slowly lower your arms as you sit on the now bare mattress and give the shirt burying her small frame a gentle tug, coaxing her closer.
She steps in between your open legs, and you wrap one of your arms just beneath her rear end as the other one comes up to brush a messy strand of hair out of her face. Her eyes, you realise now, are bloodshot, bottom lip quivering as if she was doing everything possible to stop herself from crying.
You frown in concern as you give her thigh a gentle tug, coaxing it over your lap and against your hip. She complies, and you wrap an arm around her waist to keep her supported as she brings the other leg up so she was effectively straddling your lap.
She burrows her face into your neck, and your heart breaks when you feel hot tears beginning to stain your neck. “What’s going on my love?” You murmur, bringing one hand up to settle on the back of her neck.
Natasha shakes her head with a soft sniffle, and you frown as you give her a soft squeeze, not really understanding why she didn’t want to confide to you but happy to sit here and hold her for as long as she needed. It takes a while, but she does eventually sit herself up in your arms. Your arms move from resting against her shoulder blades to just above her behind, fingers slipping beneath her oversized shirt and grazing across soft skin.
“I can’t find tiny.” She whispers, one of her hands rising to cling to the front of your shirt as her face scrunches up and another soft sob escapes her lips. Your heart breaks, your hand rising up the bare skin of her her back and coaxing her back to your chest. She seems to allow herself to cry freely now, her body trembling as she clutches fiercely to the back of your shirt.
Some may think this was an overreaction to losing a measly stuffed animal, and maybe they were right. But this wasn’t just any stuffed animal. It was her comfort. Her safe place. And whilst that may seem childish to some, for Natasha, someone who had denied herself the most simplest of comforts because she was under the impression she didn’t deserve them; someone who didn’t have any ounce of a childhood, tiny was her everything and you thanked god she trusted you enough to let down her walls and allow you to comfort her.
“Is he in your bag?” You question as you begin the motion of gently rocking her back and forth in your arms.
Natasha shakes her head. “N-no. I looked there.” She manages to choke out, and you nod in understanding as you look around the room to see if there were any spaces tiny could have hidden himself in. When you come up empty, you attempt to wrack your mind for any more ideas.
“You looked under the bed?”
Natasha nods again as she sits herself up in your arms, hands rising to roughly wipe away the tears. You shake your head slightly as you gently knock her hands away, replacing them with your own and tenderly wiping off her cheeks.
You’re about to suggest looking elsewhere in the house for the beloved bunny until a familiar fluffy hand appears in your peripheral vision. You gently pat Natasha’s back to get her attention, waiting for her teary eyes to meet your own before pointing to the corner the room where a pile of clean laundry sat in its basket.
“Did you by chance change our bedding today?” You ask, rising to your feet before easing her down onto her own. Natasha doesn’t acknowledge your question as she all but sprints to the corner of the room, knocking that large pile of laundry to the floor in her haste to grab tiny from here he was hidden at the bottom of it before clutching him to her chest.
She lets out a quiet breath of relief, and you realise, as you make your way over to her and tug her into a hug, that she must have tossed him out of the way whilst changing your sheets this morning and had forgotten to put him back. Natasha’s arms rise to settle around your neck, tiny clutched in her hand, and you immediately bend to lift her up into your arms. Her legs loop tightly around your waist, and you place a single arm beneath her behind whilst your hand rises to rest against her back.
“He was hiding from you.” You laugh slightly, and you feel the way Natasha smiles against the skin of your neck as she moves tiny to settle against her chest.
As you stand there, holding your favourite girl in your arms, you thank your lucky stars that you’d found him before disaster totally struck.
**
@goldenempyrean - finally got something written 😭 @alotofpockets @natashasnoodle @widowsistersandfriends @widowbitessting
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seresinhangmanjake · 12 days ago
Note
I love all your Feyd works! Thank you.
My request is regrding a sensitive topic. So if it makes you feel uncomfortable, please feel free not to write it.
Reader has arranged marriage with Feyd. After a few years they all discover (including her) that she has fertility issues and has trouble getting pregnant so the Baron wants them to divorce. Wife is becoming hopeless. But Feyd who’s utterly in love and devoted to his wife will not have it and pledges loyalty to her.
Worth To Him
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Notes/Warnings: obviously this is about fertility problems. It is a sensitive topic. If this bothers you, please do not read. Mention of period sex.
Words: 1500
Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list
Sobs wrack your body. One after another after another that keeps your breaths shallow and ragged. Tears coat your lashes, weighing them down. You gave up trying to see clearly through them an hour ago and let yourself get lost in the haze of blindness.
You can’t stop it. You haven’t been able to stop for days. You clutched your pillow like a lifeline, crying into the plush material in a way you haven’t since you were a child. You’ve really proven yourself useless now. You officially have nothing to offer this planet, and the Baron has made that well-known. But what else can you expect when you are incapable of doing the things that are expected of you? How can you expect not to lose the one thing you care about if you cannot give him what he needs?
“If you cannot provide him an heir, you are worth nothing” is what the Baron declared in front of all that exists of his court.
Nothing—the word bounced around the walls of your skull before it finally sank in. You’ve never been nothing until now. You’ve always held some sort of value in some manner or other, even if that manner is in being a political pawn. But no. Here, now, you’re nothing to these people.
At first, you pleaded with him, nearly fell to your hands and knees and told him you’d only been trying for a few months. A few months barely qualifies as adequate time. On your home planet, medical intervention is not discussed until the couple has gone a year with no success. But you’re not on your home planet; there is no medical intervention, and all the Baron said in response was: A few months is too long. You will divorce in a week's time.
Feyd doesn’t know. For the last five days, he’s been on Arrakis, and it was on the third day of his absence that you once again woke to stained sheets. He’ll be disappointed in you, just like the Baron, just like the people of Giedi Prime, just like your parents who agreed to marry you to Feyd for the sake of an alliance that will soon be broken. 
When he returns, they’ll tell him, and he’ll nod with acceptance because that is what he does under order, and you’ll be shipped off. You’ll never see him again. He’ll remarry. He’ll become a father to a child by a woman who is not you. He’ll raise what the people want. He’ll do them proud.
You wonder if he’ll miss you as you will miss him. Will he ever think of you and wish you were in her place? Will he look at the children she’s borne him and wonder what your children would have looked like had you the chance to have them? Will he see their hair and imagine your locks flowing down to their little shoulders? If he peers into their eyes, will he prefer them a shade to match yours instead of hers? You wonder if he’ll be filled with sorrow at what could have been. 
Selfish to think it. There’s no reason to assume he will not enjoy the pleasure his new wife will offer. Neither are you fair in hoping that when he’s inside of her, making the children the Baron demands, he will be thinking of you. 
You cry harder. Your pillow will take ages to dry. Perhaps you’ll move on to his. Soak in the scent of him before you’re ripped away from him and returned to what will be considered by many the end of your life. No other Lord, or future Lord, will take you, not after being owned by a Harkonnen—tainted meat, as they say. You’ll be a burden on your family, an embarrassment to your House’s people, a waste of valuable blood. 
Touch stirs you: a soft brush of fingertips over your tear-stained cheek, a thumb grazing over your parted mouth. 
Then a voice. “Wake up.” Your groan of resistance is cut short by a press of lips against yours. A quick peck and then another. “Wake up,” it says, and then one more kiss, much longer this time, that you return before bothering to open your eyes. Your arms wrap around a familiar neck. A tongue gently glides along yours. And then it’s gone. Stolen from you. You want it back. 
Your eyes snap open. At the sight of him sitting beside you, you gasp, quickly scrambling onto his lap. He holds you without question or word. He holds you close to him. You hold him like you never will again. 
Leaning into his body, you push him down onto the mattress and he lands on his back with a chuckle. Your legs straddle his hips, your weight resting comfortably on top of his, and with his hand in your hair, he pulls you back into a kiss. Gentle at first, a caress, then harder, needier, greedier. He could bruise you if he wanted, leave his mark, and you invite him to. Something to take back home with you—a bruising kiss. You hope it hurts. You hope you internally bleed and purple blooms around your mouth. You hope it never fades and you wear the reminder of him for the rest of your life.
His lips part. His tongue is back in your mouth, asking for yours. You savor the slick warmth, knowing you’ll never again be kissed like this. To be honest, you never thought you would be kissed like this at all. You didn’t know kisses like this existed. If someone had told you a year ago that this man would be kissing you this way, with a passion you wouldn’t have dreamed him capable of releasing, you’d have laughed them out of the room. 
He unlocks your mouths for a breath and gifts you a smile. Rare. Almost out of place on his face. The first one you received was five months into your marriage, and you’ve never gotten used to them. 
“I missed you,” he says, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind your ear. 
You want to tell him how you’ve missed him, how painful it’s been without him by your side, but you don’t know that you can speak the words, not without every emotion you’ve felt over the last few days bubbling to the surface and overpowering your joy at seeing him—the last time you’ll greet him upon his return before you’re gone. 
He frowns. “You didn’t miss me?” he asks, and since you can’t deny him a damn thing, you gather the will to say: “Of course I did,” but your throat catches midway through. You can’t look at him. He allows it for a few seconds, giving you a chance to meet his stare on your own, but when you don’t, his fingers on your chin turn your face back to his so you can no longer avoid the prying blue shade of his irises. 
“What is it?” he says.
“I know he told you.” There’s a brief pause before your husband hums in acknowledgment. Fingertips trace up and down your spine over the thin material of your nightgown. “The doctor was ordered to examine me after I bled. He’s not sure I’m able to give you a baby. And the Baron–”
“My uncle does not make my decisions for me,” he declares, and you’re so stunned by the defiance that it takes you a moment to collect yourself. 
“Feyd, do you not understand? I don’t know if I can do it,” you tell him. “My body is–”
“Perfect,” he interrupts. “You’re perfect, and you’re mine. You will never belong to another man, nor will I belong to another woman.” 
“Neither of us has a choice.”
“You believe so?”
Your brow pinches, mouth setting in a line. If he’s playing a game, you’re not enjoying it. “As if you aren’t aware of who has the power here.”
“I am aware,” he says. “But Rabban is dead. I’m all that’s left of our line. If he wants his heir, then I’m keeping my wife.”
He speaks with such certainty that the charge of excitement you get whenever you watch him take command of his armies seeps into you, giddily wiggling all of your little nerve endings. But the feeling fades as fast as it came. It changes nothing. Whether or not he defies his uncle does not alter your circumstances. 
You sigh. “But what of your heir?”
“We’ll keep trying,” he says. “You’re not going anywhere. I'm too attached. He doesn’t get to marry me to a woman like you and then take you away.”
“A woman like me, who might not be able to give you what you need,” you say. “Why aren’t you bothered?”
“Having my heir is not where your worth lies to me. If we cannot have a baby, we will take someone else's,” he tells you without snicker or grin. His fingers fist into the material of your nightgown. “Now take this off. I want my wife.”
“I am still bleeding.”
He scoffs. “When have I ever cared?”
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warmilikeit · 1 month ago
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Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)
DC x Pjo
Part 3
___________________
"Missing: If found dead or alive, please contact the authorities"
Dick feels like he's about to puke, every time he sees that fucking poster, every time it's played in the news
He feels like he failed, not just as Nightwing, but as a brother, he was supposed to be a protector, projecting you as a vigilante and as a hero
Everything keeps replaying in his head, how you were always out of theme in family photos because Damian keeps telling you the wrong one, but no one bothers to tell you the real one
How in a single day, everything you've ever built was abandoned, your room, your school, your friends (he wasn't sure if you had any) (ps: you didn't, Damian wouldn't let it happen)
How no one was there to help
And he saw another poster "bring back dead or alive"
He wasn't sure how he's going to accept if you're actually dead
Because if you're alive, there could be a chance, he'd apologize to you, and he knows you're kind enough to accept it, he'll spend lost time with you, and everything will be fine
But with every minute that passes, it feels like slowly you are pulling away further from him (if it's still possible that you could be pulled further than you are now)
________________________
2 years ago
"How long are you gonna keep disappointing me like this...?" Bruce sighed deeply
He got your report card, funny enough, the only time he sees you is when you do something wrong
And it wasn't like you failed either, it's just that it's lower than what your siblings got, it's lower than his standards
Well sorry you're not Tony Stark level, am I right? Ahaha-
You weren't stupid, you just weren't as smart as your siblings, in your defense you were smarter than them at some other stuff, it's just that it's the stuff your father didn't care about
"Dad are you finally throwing out the anchor?" Damian snickered
You huff at the insult, knowing if you insult him back you'll get in trouble "it's not even that bad-"
Jason furrows his brows "yeah, but it's not good enough, I hope you realize how lucky you are compared to the other kids in Gotham, you should repay it by being outstanding"
"And not to mention as the first born biological child you should uphold yourself to the standards given to you, if you can't do that then stand down" Tim scoffs at you
That comment may or may not be from an insecurity that he isn't Bruce's real kid (despite being more loved than you)
"don't you think you're being too dramatic? I don't even want that stupid company" you grit your teeth
"that stupid company is what keeps a roof over your head, stop being so ungrateful"
Damian's face has that shit-eating grin once again "throw it out the streets maybe then it'll know"
It's always that fucking suggestion that throws you off, every fight, they call you a burden in this house, they want you out
You feel like if it weren't going to be a legal problem Bruce would have done it
"you guys are so full of yourselves, I don't know where you pull the 'i'll fix Gotham' mentality when you can't even fix your own issues" you grab your grades and leave
"You fucking-" you hear Damian say but you ran to your room, to the far corner of the Manor, a guest bedroom (you were kicked out of your master bedroom when Damian came, his reason was "it's too stressful seeing it everyday", so they moved you)
______________________
Present
"Diana...?" Bruce calls
"Diana!, what is it!?" Bruce yells "What do you see?"
Diana looks like she's about to cry, as she examines the footage in front of her
another demigod dead
She thinks, her hands shaking at the sight of another child, like she once was, dying at the hands of those monsters who hunt them down
Does Bruce know? It didn't seem like he did, if he knew- he would have protected the kid right?
Then she sees light, she sees the little kid run into the garden, and meet nymphs, she sees the kid escape
"oh thank the gods..." She whispered
Without saying another word, she left the tower, leaving the others confused, she knew where the kid was
(Name) was safe at camp
_______________________
I just finished an exam and the entire time I was taking it, the edit of "dynamic duo", starring Nightwing and Redhood kept playing in my head
Also this series is gonna have multiple parts, I wanna make things easier for you guys :3 , how do you make a masterlist?
I hope you enjoy the chapter!
@bat1212 @vanessa-boo @sweetconnoisseurgardener
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enwoso · 1 month ago
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Kyra loving to mess with Lovie but she takes it too far one day and lovie gets very upset and tells on Kyra to alessia and Steph. Maybe Kyra hides esme the elephant and Lovie is in desperate need of a nap and can’t sleep without it
NOT COOL — alessia russo x child!reader
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grumpy masterlist
you and kyra had a special type of relationship, maybe that's because kyra was like a big kid and loved doing silly things with you. like colouring in your entire arms with paint or making you own little world out of a cardboard box.
but kyra also loved to be a pest and that meant messing with you and sometimes pushing the wrong buttons. usually you wouldn't mind it and would find the funniness out of the joke.
but today kyra had taken it too far.
she had been taking your toys one by one and hiding them from you or putting them out of your reach before giving it back to you. but right now she holding your barbie in the air, as you struggled to reach it.
the young australian lifting it higher in her hand with each jump you did to try and get it. kyra giggling to herself as she watched you struggle and start to get frustrated.
you got bored of trying to get the barbie doll and wondered back off towards your mummy who was sat with steph as the talked over a coffee. alessia noticing you coming over with a sad frown on your face as she opened her arms for you to fall into.
"what's wrong lovie?" mummy asked as she lifted you onto her lap, steph sending you a small smile but the frown was still on your face.
"rara won't give me my barbie back" you pouted as you sunk into your mummy's arms. a small gasp came from steph as she shook her head.
"well we can't be having that, she's naughty isn't she" steph nodded as you said a small yes, a little chuckle came from alessia as usually it was you and kyra causing trouble together.
"i'll get your barbie back for you lovie, but do you want to have a little sleep while we are in the gym?" mummy asks as you nod. alessia could tell you were a little sleepy just from the way you wondered over. that and the fact you had basically sunk into her arms.
"i'll get your blankie from the car, okay" mummy says as she lifts you from her lap before mumbling to steph she wouldn't be long, steph just waving the blonde off as she rushed out the room her car keys jangling in her hand.
"wait, i need esme" you pouted as you eyes scanned around you from your favourite teddy. steph looking around too for you. "is that your elephant stuffy?" steph asked as you nodded.
"where did you have her last tiny?" steph asked as you sat for a moment in thought before perking up a little, "with rara"
"do you wanna go and see if esme is still in there, and i'll wait here?" steph suggested as you slipped down the seat and wondered into the room next door, to look for your elephant stuffy.
in the time you were in the room next door, alessia had came back with your blankie a puzzled look on her face to see you not sat with steph anymore.
"don't worry she's just gone to find her esme the elephant" steph smiled as alessia let out a sigh of relief.
"good she can't sleep without her little elephant, she's had it since she was born" alessia explained sitting back down in her seat as she lifted her coffee cup back up to her lips taking a sip, a small twist of the lips as the coffee had started to go cold.
the two fell back into conversation just as you wondered slowly through the door, a sad smile on your face. a one not two dissimilar to the one you first walked into the room with.
"i lost esme" you whispered, your bottom lip wobbling slightly as you walked into your mummy's arms. your mummy started to coo as you wondered into her arms, your entire mood deflated at the thought of looking your special esme elephant.
alessia knew it was only a matter of time before you would start to cry, it was like a ticking time bomb. you were going to boom any moment so alessia needed to find a solution and quick.
"can you remember where you had esme?" your mummy asked softly as she moved your loose hairs that had fallen from you bobbles out from your face as you shook your head, your bottom lip still wobbling. steph looking in with a pout.
“well i need to find it because she won’t have a nap or even sleep without it” alessia sighed as she tried to think of where you could of put the small elephant teddy.
“you don’t think kyra would have esme?” steph whispered as you’d moved so that your head was now buried in your mummy’s chest as you twirled the ends of your hair around your finger. a motion you only ever did if you were tired.
“more likely to of hid it” alessia grumbled, her and steph thinking of places alessia could look around the training ground. steph already agreeing to watch you as the blonde did the rounds of the training ground looking out for either kyra or esme the elephant. knowing whichever one she found first the other wouldn’t be far behind.
alessia began to peel you from her arms as you whined not wanting to let go, “no mummy-“ you pouted as you were placed on the coldness of the chair.
“lovie, mummy’s gonna go and find esme. you and steph can watch peppa on your ipad” alessia pointed towards steph who had your ipad in her hand tapping away at it.
you quietly groaned as tiredness was taking over your body as you slowly moved closer to steph so you could see what was on your ipad screen as alessia slipped out the room.
alessia should have known trying to find the young australian wouldn’t have been an easy task, alessia had looked in every corner, room even going as far to ask everyone she’s passed in the training ground and nobody had seen kyra. alessia was starting to think the girl had gone home.
“you haven’t seen kyra?” alessia asked leah who looked up from her laptop a shake of the head as alessia sighed moving onto the next spot.
stopping a few other of her teammates, manu, vic, laura, kim, stina. as they all gave the same answer, “no sorry” before telling the blonde who next to ask or where to look next. alessia feeling like she was detective trying to crack a high status case with nobody telling her the answer she wanted to hear.
“oh, have you seen kyra?” alessia asked katie as she passed her in the corridor, katie paused for a moment before shaking her head, “no what she done now?” katie laughed.
“she’s got lovies esme the elephant” alessia sighed as another laugh came from katie. “have you tried the gym? there’s a couple people in there i think” katie told alessia as she nodded taking the advice before thanking katie and moving further down the corridor.
"have any of you seen kyra?" alessia spoke fast as she poked her head through the gym doors beth and lia looked at the blonde before at each other before shaking their heads. "no why?"
"she's took lovie's teddy" alessia sighed as the two nodded, "and she won't have her nap without it"
"have you tried outside?" lia suggested as a slight smile came onto the blondes fast that was the one place she hadn't looked.
"your a genius lia!" before the two had a chance to response alessia was out the door rushing towards the pitches as lia and beth both looked at each other with a similar puzzled look on both their faces before they shrugged carrying on with their stretches.
alessia rushed towards the pitches seeing kyra in the distance playing with one of the footballs as she blasted it into the goal in the distance.
"kyra!" alessia yelled across the pitch as the young australian turned around her smile dropping when she saw the unfamiliar serious look on alessia's face, a one the young australian hadn't seen many times before.
"hi lessi" kyra said so innocently as with each step alessia took towards the australian, kyra would take to back. alessia rolling her eyes having very little patience for silly game after spending twenty minutes looking for the girl.
"drop the act, where's the elephant teddy?" alessia asked getting straight to the point as kyra just shrugged a smirk threatening to perk through her lips.
“what elephant? i haven’t seen no elephant?”
"kyra, this is not cool i'm being serious, she won't have her nap without it. where is it?" alessia asked a little more sternly this time as the australian sighed, feeling a tiny bit bad and the fact the game was over now.
"in my bag in the locker room." kyra said quietly as before kyra had even finished the word room alessia was rushing back from the pitches to the locker room where she’d started her search nearly thirty minutes ago.
making it back to the locker room and low and behold their was your esme, her head popping out the bag. it being very obvious really where it was, alessia being slightly annoyed with herself that she didn’t see it the first time she was in there.
shoving kyra’s bag back where it was when she first walked in she walked the long stretch of the corridor back to where you were sat with steph, esme the elephant held tightly in the blondes hand. part of being scared that if she did have even the slightest of looser grip on the teddy that it may go missing again.
walking through the double doors, steph immediately looking over a small sigh of relief coming from her as she looked back to where you were, still immensely engrossed in the peppa pig show on your ipad.
alessia walked a little closer holding the teddy up in the air like some sort of trophy and in a way it was as it meant you’ll finally be able to go for your nap. a small stifle of a laughter coming from steph at alessia’s actions.
you moving your head to look at what the commotion was in the room, looking and seeing your mummy walking towards you, a gasp coming from you as you made grabby hands for your esme. alessia lifting you from steph’s lap as you sunk into the warmth of your mummy’s arms.
“need i ask?” steph asked with a wince as she had a feeling already who esme the elephant had ended up a victim to. a shake of the head came from alessia as you settled into her arms, your teddy snuggled up to you as a comforting sigh fell from your lips as you eyes slowly began to flutter shut.
“she’s such a pest” steph joked as alessia hummed loudly agreeing, “she is — at times”
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woso-dreamzzz · 9 months ago
Text
Injured V
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Summary: The next day
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The day that Alba takes you is the worst day of Alexia's life which says a lot.
For a long time, the worst day of her life was tearing her ACL, the time before that was when her father died but even those moments have been taken over by Alba taking you away from her.
Alexia slept outside your bedroom door that night, adamant that you would open it when you thought everyone was in bed. She didn't have much of a plan after that apart from grabbing you before you noticed her and not letting you go ever again.
But you don't open your door until Alba arrives early the next day.
You shrug off Alexia when she tries to reach for you, whining and crying until Alba picks you up. You're still in yesterday's clothes and no matter how much Alexia begs, you don't even acknowledge that she's speaking to you.
Alba doesn't talk to her either and both sisters are caught in a standoff that forces Olga to pack your bag.
No word is spoken by either you or Alba even as Alexia rants and raves and begs until the front door swings shut behind you.
That's when she really breaks down, crumbling to the floor as she sobs.
Your bedroom door is left open and Alexia can peer inside, clearly seeing where you've destroyed things last night.
Your trains are knocked over. Your ballet pumps are strewn around the room. Your bedsheets and pillows are bundled up in your wardrobe like you slept in there last night rather than your bed.
There was a picture of you and Alexia that lived on your bedside table. You're a newborn in it, lying on Alexia's chest. The labour had been gruelling - thirteen long hours - and Alexia's face is all red. You're red too but completely content. The picture's lived there for as long as Alexia can remember until now.
It lies on the floor, the frame completely broken and unsalvageable. The picture is ruined too, a big rip right down the middle until one half features just Alexia and the other half features you.
"Ale," Olga says softly," I'm...I'm going to call you in sick, okay?"
Alexia shakes her head, wiping away her tears. "No," She insists," I'm going in to train."
"Ale-"
"No."
The radio doesn't get turned on when Alexia drives to her recovery session. She drives in silence, stewing about it all as she pulls into the car park.
It's clear to everyone that she's in a mood which is a little strange seeing as they won the Copa De La Reina last night. No one seems to want to approach.
No one except Mapi, despite Ingrid's hushed warnings.
"So, which one did she choose?"
The words shock Alexia, who nearly drops her shirt. "What?"
Mapi frowns. "Did you not let her choose this time? That's so mean, Ale. Did she at least like the one you got her?"
"Mapi, what are you talking about?"
Mapi rolls her eyes. "The train? You always let y/n choose a new train when we win a trophy. Which one was it this time? Last time I saw her she talked about wanting this fancy red one that you could take the top off to put little people in the cars. Was it stupidly expensive? Is that why you didn't let her choose?"
Alexia clenches her fist at the reminder. She can't think of the last time she bought you a new train. She used to buy one every week. Its all you ever ask for but she can't remember the last one she gave you.
Was it the green one at Christmas or the black one at new years?
No, it can't have been then because she got you a big train set before Jaume was born, wrapped up and placed in the cupboard to give to you the day of Jaume's birth.
But...
Alexia can't remember seeing it in your room this morning.
When recovery is over, she nearly tears the cupboard door off its hinges.
The present is still there, a thick layer of dust covering the pristine packaging and Alexia sobs all over again.
She's in her car before she knows and is banging on Alba's door before she can stop herself.
"Go away!" Her sister snarls.
"Let me in!"
"No! Go away!"
"I want to see her!"
"Fuck off, Alexia! And get lost! You're not coming anywhere near that little girl!"
"She's my daughter! You've kidnapped her! Move!"
Alba looks ready to throw hands again but so is Alexia. She knows that she's got a long way to go but she's got the present from Jaume's birth in the backseat and the train you told Mapi you wanted.
"Kidnapped," Alba scoffs," That's rich. You've been neglecting her! You're lucky I didn't call the police on you!"
"Watch it," Alexia snaps," This is what you wanted, wasn't it? For me to take notice? Job done! I've noticed! Give me Bambi!"
"Over my-"
Alba breaks off as the pitter-patter of little feet sound behind her. She turns, blocking Alexia from your view as you come running towards her.
"Tia! Tia!"
"Hey, bambi. What have you got there?"
"Me and you! I painted it!"
Alba smiles, gently cupping your cheeks as she presses a soft kiss to your forehead. She keeps her body between you and Alexia, desperate to make sure you don't notice.
"It's so beautiful. Why don't you go and put away your paints and then we can put it up on the fridge?"
"Okay."
You run off again and Alba goes to shut the door.
Alexia wedges her foot between it and the frame.
"I'm not leaving," She insists," Not without Bambi."
"Go back to your precious son," Alba hisses," You're not going anywhere near her."
Alexia doesn't exactly have a plan. All she wants is to grab you and take you home. She'll give you your new trains and not let you out of her sight for the rest of your life.
"Alexia Putellas Segura!"
She turns slowly to see her mother walking up the driveway, a face like thunder.
"Mama-"
"No!"
She falls silent.
"Go."
"Alba-"
"Alexia, I will not ask again. Go home to Olga and Jaume. Your presence will do Bambi no good."
Tears water in her eyes. "Mama, I'm trying. I will be better, I promise. Please."
"Alexia." Her mother's voice softens ever so slightly but it's clear she's not going to budge. "This will not be good for Bambi. Go home, reflect and we will sort out a day where you can see her again."
"I want to see her now." Her voice cracks. "Please, Mama, she's only little."
"Go home, Alexia," Eli says," Hold your son but go home and do not come back until you are invited. This is hard on you, yes, but it is much harder on your daughter. Something like this does not happen overnight."
"Mama, I will do anything. Just, please, I need to see her."
"I have already made my decision. You will not be seeing Bambi until I have been told what has happened from her mouth. You will go home and think about your actions. If I don't think your presence will help then you will not see her."
"She's a baby, Mama," Alexia sobs with no shame," I..."
"I know," Eli says," I know, Alexia but we need to start doing what is right for her, not just what is right for you. So, go home while I talk to Bambi and we will see where this goes."
Alexia sniffles and wipes her tears. "I...I have trains for her, in my car..."
"I'll give them to her."
You're sitting in front of a train set when Eli walks in.
She didn't really want to believe it when Alba called this morning, telling her that Alexia had been neglecting you. She hadn't wanted to believe it when Alba said that she had taken you away but seeing Alexia a few minutes ago had made this all clear.
"Do you have room for more trains?"
You look up. "Abuela!"
"Hola, Bambi." She sits down next to you. "I've missed you."
The look on your face is heartbreaking. You look so excited, like you can't quite believe that someone has missed you.
"Really?"
"Of course. I always miss my favourite little girl."
Your face clouds with something that Eli can't quite work out and you say softly," Mami used to call me that."
Eli's heart cracks completely at your words and she has to resist the urge to cry herself. "I hear that you are staying with your tia for a few days."
Alba hovers uncertainly nearby, shifting on her feet even though her eyes are still glued to the windows looking out on the driveway. Eli doesn't have to look to know that Alexia hasn't driven away yet.
She knows that she won't be coming in but leaving and driving back home makes it certain. Eli isn't sure that Alexia wants to admit that just yet.
You nod, looking back down at your trains. The set-up isn't as elaborate as the one you have at home but it's still quite big. You make little chugging noises with your mouth before speaking," Tia Alba says we can go to the beach tomorrow and that I don't have to go to nursery!" Your face goes cloudy again. and you mood drops "I got forgot at nursery yesterday."
Eli hums. "And how did that make you feel?"
Your bottom lip wobbles and Eli doesn't want to push but she needs to know so she can fix this. She wants this to be salvageable. She doesn't want to give Alexia hope that this can be fixed if it can't be. She doesn't want to force you to reconcile if it'll cause more harm than good.
"Mami loves Jaume," You say, face scrunching up," And Miss Olga. They're her family."
Tears spill down your cheeks.
"Your Mami loves you too," Eli promises, feeling her chest go tight," Even if she forgets."
"No, she doesn't," You shake your head," I..." You like around wildly like you're scared. "I...I love Mami but she doesn't love me."
"She does," Eli insists," You are so loved, Bambi. Your Mami is having a bit of a stumble but she does love you."
It's clear that you don't believe her.
"Mami wanted Jaume. She didn't want me."
Eli chokes out a breath. "Who told you that?! Bambi, who said that to you?!"
Your conception was always a difficult subject to breach. Alexia had gotten drunk, slept with someone and woke up with no memory of the experience. She ended up pregnant though, with you.
It wasn't something that they ever told you. All you had ever been told was that you were loved. No one ever wanted to label you as a mistake or unwanted.
It was one of Alexia's deepest shames. She'd always told you that she chose your daddy, that she spent hours and hours choosing the perfect one. She had never wanted to tell you that you were an accident no matter how many times Eli had told her you would find out one day.
To you, you were chosen. Alexia chose to have you, to make you a part of her life. To you, you and Jaume have the same daddy because Alexia chose yours.
Eli should have known this would come out eventually, no matter what Alexia had told her.
More tears flow down your cheeks.
"Was an accident," You sniffle," Didn't mean to listen in. Was meant to be sleeping. Mami was talking to her friends-"
"What did Alexia say, bambi?" Alba's voice is harsh and Eli could never imagine this is what her family would come to.
Two sisters on warring sides and one little girl used as the rope in this tug of war.
"Said that Jaume was planned. Does that mean I wasn't? That I wasn't wanted like him?"
"I'm going to kill her," Alba declares. If she squints, she can just make out Alexia sobbing into her steering wheel. "I'm going to kill her."
"Alba," Eli says," Calm down. Go and make some snacks but do not attack your sister."
"Abuela? Does that mean Mami didn't want me?"
Eli doesn't want to have this conversation. She's never wanted to have this conversation, to have you question your position in this family. She wants to tell you that just because you weren't planned doesn't mean that you weren't wanted. She wants to tell you that you were so wanted by everyone in this room the moment they found out about you.
But, somehow, she doesn't think that will help.
What you want is assurance from Alexia but Eli doesn't trust her eldest daughter with you right now.
It's a horrible thing to admit but it's so easy to see that Alexia adores Jaume. It has always been a little harder to see Alexia's love for you.
Eli doesn't trust Alexia with you in the slightest and she hates that. She hates how splintered her family has become. She can hear Alba pacing in the kitchen and she can make out Alexia still in the driveway, sobbing.
"Your Mami..." She sighs. "I wanted you and your Tia Alba wanted you. You are so loved and so wanted by everyone in the family, Bambi. Do you trust me?"
You nod.
"I'm going to be staying with you and your Tia for a few days and I'm going to make everything better."
"Is Mami and Miss Olga and baby Jaume coming over?"
"Do you want them to?"
"No."
"Then they won't. Your Mami did give me something to give to you, though. They're presents from her."
"Why?"
Eli doesn't want to think about this. She doesn't want to think about why you're even questioning Alexia giving you presents. Every weekend at the end of Alexia's matches, she used to take you to the model train store near your house.
Eli used to be forced to go too and Alexia would let you pick out a new train simply as a present, a gift for being her favourite girl in the entire world.
You were singlehandedly keeping that store in business and the old man that ran it even kept it open late if the match ran over. It used to be your favourite time of the week.
If you're asking her why you're getting presents all of a sudden, Eli doesn't want to think about how long it's been since you must have set foot in that store.
Her voice cracks. "Because you're her favourite girl in the entire world."
She pushes them both towards you.
One of them is covered in wrapping paper so Eli can't tell what it is but she recognises the second one.
It's a red train that you'd been eyeing up since the last time Eli went to the train store with you and your Mami almost a whole year ago. It's big and comes with its own train track and little people.
It's based on those fancy trains that serve afternoon tea and cakes because each of the train cars can have their roofs taken off to place the little people figures inside to enjoy their lunches.
It's stupidly expensive, seven-hundred euros and Eli remembers you telling her that Alexia had promised it to you for your birthday. But your birthday came and went a month ago so to see it now means you didn't get it then.
You don't reach out to tear off the wrapping paper of the first present but you do tentatively touch the front of the box of the train you've been begging for.
More tears then Eli thought possible drops down your cheeks.
"I don't want it," You say eventually," I don't want them, Abuela. I don't!"
"Okay, okay," Eli hushes you softly," I'll take them away, Bambi."
You climb into her lap and sob and Eli wants nothing more than to heal all your pain and stop this but even that sounds too difficult to do. She'd hoped that this was all some big understanding but it's clear that this runs deep, that this isn't something that can be fixed quite so easily.
It's clear that Alba has made the right choice though, to take you away from Alexia and the mess of your home.
Eli had been worried when Alexia had named her as your godmother but it was clearly the right decision. She doesn't want to think about what could have happened if you had been left there any longer.
"Abuela?" You say and the next words out of your mouth are the worst things Eli has ever heard," Do you think Mami would be happier if she didn't have me?"
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nana-gumi · 8 months ago
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my heart belongs to.. who? g.satoru
pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader
cw: heavy angst, mentions of death, mentions of cremation, depression, starvation, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of self-harming, please read at your own risk!! NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN HELP (i'm sleepy alr but i want to update TvT)
a/n: here's the part two of the 'anyway, don't be a stranger.' yes the title has changed. also based from a song a piece of you by nathaniel constantin. that's all, enjoy reading ;) PLS NOTIFY ME IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS!! THANK YOU <3
now that you had lost your only strength to continue living, what should you do now?
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satoru doesn't know why something in him ached when he randomly spotted his best friend, his dear best friend, suguru with you, on a random place and at a random time.
your backs were turned to him but he surely didn't like the way you cling to his best friend, it hurts him in many ways he couldn't explain but, satoru knew too well that he doesn't have the rights to feel that way, that's because every pain and sorrow that has happened to his life would be different if he didn't do that one big mistake.
ever since the divorce, satoru never saw you again. you left and none of the people you knew where you've gone to. satoru thought it was for the best that you should be away from him because the moment he feels vulnerable again, he would look for your presence, even though you weren't together anymore.
although sometimes, satoru do hope that you didn't run away from him. he wanted to fix everything, to apologize, to try things with you again. he never wanted anyone other than you. you were the only person that could see his other sides, the only person who knew him very very well, the only person he wanted to grow old with but everything was too late already.
he shouldn't have listened to you when you pushed him away and there, he would've never saw the pain look in your face when both of you separated your ways, he would've never saw the way you tried to stop yourself from crying infront of him, and he would've never saw the way you accepted to keep your wedding rings so desperately as if he would still be around you if you keep it.
satoru regretted every decision he made up until now, it was all of his fault, it was his fault why you had to leave, everything was his fault, you didn't have a choice because of him and he hoped that you've already forgave him for that. he really hoped so.
because of the heavy thoughts, satoru didn't know why his feet brought him to his best friend's apartment. maybe to ask how you were doing? are you still single? do you have a new lover now? was it suguru? are you both dating? oh gosh, he hoped not. it could be anyone but his best friend.
"(name) trusted you with it suguru, you shouldn't break your promise." satoru suddenly stopped on his tracks. that was shoko's voice, he was sure of it.
"but, don't you think he still has the right to know? satoru's the father after all."
"you're right though but—"
"what did you just say?" both eyes were widened at the sudden appearance as satoru revealed himself from hiding as he went closer to his best friends.
"when did you—"
"i'm the father? what do you mean?" satoru asked as he furrowed his eyebrows and suguru looked away from him. satoru could recognize the worried look of his best friend's face. "shoko?"
"well.." she mumbled, looking at suguru.
"are you hiding something from me?" satoru asked.
"it's not like that—" shoko said.
"then why do you both look nervous?"
"satoru." suguru called as he felt shoko's hand stop him and she shake her head left to right. "i'm sorry, but he needs to know."
"needs to know what? come on."
"satoru, you had a child, with (name)." and he couldn't be more surprised as he looked at suguru, lost and confused.
"what?"
"yeah, unfortunately, sanyu is—"
"stop." satoru said as he placed a hand on his temples. "is this some kind of prank? therefore, it's not funny."
"satoru, i'm not lying." suguru said, his expression blank.
"no. that's— that would be impossible.."
"go talk with her, satoru. heh, in the end, i couldn't keep my promise to her, huh?" suguru said as he placed a hand on his nape. "i'll send you the address, go." and satoru didn't waste any more time as he walked towards the front door but suguru stopped him again. "satoru." he called and suguru almost laughed at the worried and somehow excited look on his best friend's face. it's been a while since he saw that.
"what?" satoru said, cleary annoyed and impatient as suguru lightly smiled at him.
"be gentle with her, she's still vulnerable." satoru didn't get what suguru meant by that as he finally left, following the map where suguru had sent him.
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you knew this day would've eventually come as you stand face to face with your ex-husband, he was panting and you were just about to go back home from the convenience store.
"(name).." he whispered your name as he took a step close to you, another one, and then another one as he started sprinting, embracing you in his arms and no one knew how much he missed feeling you around his arms. you let him embrace you but you stopped yourself from doing the same thing, you just stood there.
"why are you here?" you asked as satoru pulled away, his sleeve flying on his eyes as he slightly rubbed it. he was about to tear up.
"is it true?" satoru asked and he hoped you get what he meant with the question as you slowly nod your head.
"let's go inside my home first. it's getting cold here. i'll tell you everything there."
and there both of you ended up inside your home as satoru quietly inspected the surroundings. there was your picture and his son hanging on the wall.
"here." you said, handing him a glass of water. "i'm guessing suguru told you?"
"no. i actually overheard them."
"i see."
"so, where's.. um— can i see our child?" he asked and your heart ached at his question. you thought suguru told him already?
satoru didn't know what to do you when you started sobbing as you covered your face with your palms.
"you can't." you mumbled, wiping your tears as you look down on your lap.
"i understand.. but if you're—"
"you can't, satoru. we can't—"
"i know. i know you still don't trust me but i promise i will—"
"he's gone, satoru! don't you understand it? he's gone, he's dead, we can't see him anymore!" you exclaimed. everything was just overwhelming and you didn't mean to yell at him. "i'm sorry." you mumbled, once again, covering your face with your hands as you cry.
you felt his presence beside you as he wrapped his arms around you. he didn't know what else to do and satoru thought being close to you will help, being close to you will maybe help his almost shattering soul.
"i'm sorry." satoru said as he felt your arms around him. was this suguru meant when you were still vulnerable. he should've asked suguru to be more clear so there, satoru would know how to comfort you very well.
"i'm sorry, satoru. i kept him away from you when he wanted to see you. i should've pushed aside my own feelings and let sanyu meet you but i just couldn't, and now guilt is eating me up. it's my fault he couldn't see his papa on his last days. it was his last wishes but—"
"shh, stop it already. it's okay. don't blame yourself."
"i'm really sorry." no. satoru told himself he doesn't deserve your apologies and thinks everything was his fault to begin with.
"it was my fault that i couldn't be there for you. for our son. i deserve all the blame." satoru said as you slightly pulled away from him as you wiped your tears.
"it's not your fault either. sanyu was born with a weak heart. i couldn't protect him with that, no?" you said as you placed your hands on your lap.
"when we met at the parking lot, was that?.." you nodded your head in response as you recalled that day.
"that was the day after sanyu died." you mumbled and satoru couldn't help but clench his jaw. if only he knew.
satoru snapped out of his thoughts when he felt you sit up from the couch as you kneeled infront of the small table, taking something beneath it as you went back beside him.
"come, i'll show you his pictures." you said as you smiled at him and satoru couldn't help but mirror you. just for now, maybe you both could be happy, even just for now.
-
"he even cut his own hair, look!" you exclaimed, pointing a certain picture as satoru laughed with you.
he missed a lot things. when you were carrying his child, when his son was born, when his son was growing up. he wasn't there to witness everything and he almost– no, he regrets it so so much.
"i almost dyed his hair black 'cause he reminds me of you so much." you sighed as you closed the album, finally reaching its end as you place it on the table.
"we really do look like each other." satoru said as you lightly smile at him.
"you're not wrong." you responded and suddenly, it became silent.
"i'm sorry (name)." he started as you stayed still in your position. "i tried looking for you." he continued as he held your hand on his with you still avoiding to look at him. "why didn't you tell me before?" he said and that's what made you look at him. is he seriously asking you that?
"i don't know, satoru. do you?" you asked and he was completely taken aback.
"you should definitely go home now, someone might be waiting for you.." you said as you stand up from the couch, only for him to stop you by your wrist.
you looked at him for a moment and he did too. he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as your hand slowly slipped out of his grasp and you turned your back at him.
"if you want to know more about sanyu, just ask."
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it's been a week since you and satoru talked things out. it felt good to be able to talk everything with him. you thought at some point that satoru will hate you even more for not informing him about his son's existence but it was the opposite.
and maybe, you shouldn't have stalked his social and there you wouldn't stumble on his ex' account, because you never knew that it would hurt you this much, that it would hurt your already, broken heart.
you felt some type of jealousy seeing his family be happy in those pictures. they even went on a trip, on different places and many more. satoru looked happy. maybe if those mistakes were prevented back then, it would be you, him and sanyu.
there were missed calls and unread messages from suguru and shoko but you didn't have the energy to reply to each of them.
you just wanted to lay in your bed all day, almost wishing that sanyu would knock at your door asking for a help with his assignment, but no, it wouldn't happen anymore. you were all alone now, you'll never be able to feel happiness again, everything felt too empty for you to feel any type of emotions except for sorrow.
-
your eyes slowly opened when you felt something cold in your forehead.
"you're finally awake."
"what happened?" you asked as you tried to sit up from the bed, only for satoru to push you back.
"don't stand up yet. you passed out on the living room. you've been sleeping for a day already. are you eating? don't starve yourself." he talks too fast that you almost didn't catch his words.
"why are you here?" you asked.
"well.. i guess i want to know more about sanyu." he said as he hesitantly looked at you. "i'm sorry for walking around your house without your permission but, i saw a small shrine on the room beside here. is that sanyu's?" satoru asked as you nod at him.
"i forgot to tell you but i had sanyu cremated."
"okay, i understand."
"you can visit him anytime if you want."
"that would be great. thank you."
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satoru did visit once a week. you noted that it was always on thursdays, just like suguru had told you that satoru's always available on thursdays.
your house would be messy if satoru wasn't around but if you knew that he'll be visiting, you'll force yourself to clean the house. you didn't want him to see you in worst state again, not anymore. he didn't have to know that you were starving yourself, that you would only eat when he brings you food.
he doesn't need to know. not that he would care, right? satoru is not in the position to care for you after all. he only visits for his son, it's wasn't because of you. maybe you should stop being delusional and face the reality that satoru and you couldn't work together anymore. he already has a family on his own. he has nothing to do with you anymore. a part of you is still hoping though but then again, he doesn't need to know.
there was a time where satoru visited you on tuesday. it was unexpected that he caught you almost hurting yourself. house and room messy.
it hurts him to see you like this. he couldn't help but to compare the old you to the you now. a big difference. he doesn't see you smile anymore. he doesn't hear your laugh anymore.
"you needn't to hurt yourself, okay? tell me if i can help in any way." he said as you sit on the couch, knees close to your chest as you stare at nothing.
your thoughts was playing with you because all of the sudden, you recalled everything that has happened between you and satoru. his mistakes, his wrongdoings, his happy family. your blood started to boil and you couldn't help but blame him in your mind. that it was his fault why sanyu have to suffer.
"hey, i know it still hurting you but—"
"you know nothing!" you exclaimed which took him off guard. he was unfamiliar with that look in your face.
"(name), calm down." he said as he tried to reach for you, only for you to slap his hand away.
"shut up! don't order me around! can you just leave my house?" you yelled. "this is all your fault." you mumbled and satoru heard it loud and clear. you weren't wrong though. "leave! i don't want to see you anymore. i hate you."
-
and even if you push him as many times as you want, satoru would not lose hope. he still visits you and sanyu. though he took note of the changes in your mood sometimes.
satoru visited late than usual. you already fell asleep on the couch. you swore you weren't waiting for him or something. it just happened that you got tired from the cleaning the house.
after the usual visit of you and satoru in your child's room both decided to eat the food he brought.
"sorry i was late. i had a hard time choosing a ring—" he cuts off himself with a fake cough as he looked away from you. "anyway, sorry for making you wait."
"it's fine. thank you for bringing me food."
"of course."
today, you seemed a lot more good now. satoru can notice you smile everytime. he didn't want to assume that you're smiling because of him though.
"is there something wrong?" he asked when he noticed you staring at him.
"i'm fine. thank you for visiting." you said as you walked satoru at the front door. "oh wait." you said, walking back to your room as satoru stood still on the front door and you went back after a minute.
"take this." you said, handing him a certain necklace.
"for me?" satoru said, taking the necklace in your hand.
"i asked them to put a little bit of sanyu ashes inside. you can't open that anymore since they locked it." satoru's eyes widened at your words.
"thank you." he said as you smiled at him.
"here, let me help." you said, as you wear the necklace on him. "sanyu will always be by your side, wherever you are." you said as you smiled and suddenly, satoru turned around, his face was too close to you and you think he could almost hear on how loud your beating heart is.
you awkwardly took a step back as you cleared your throat to ease the awkward tension.
"thank you (name), really. i will treasure this." he said as you smiled at him, for the last time.
"sorry for yelling at you sometimes, satoru."
"don't worry, i understand. just let me know if you want to release some stress. i'll try my best to help." he said and despite of answering, you only smiled, again.
"thank you, satoru. sanyu was the best son i could ever have." you said and he suddenly placed a hand on your head. like how he always does before as he leaned to your level.
"thank you for raising our child." he said as you look at him with widened eyes and you couldn't help but frown as you place a hand close to your chest.
stop giving me false hope, satoru.
"take care." you couldn't help but tear up as you whispered those words as satoru left. be happy, always. even if it's without me.
"i had a hard time choosing a ring." you mumbled, mimicking his words.
you smiled but what you were feeling inside was opposite. maybe you shouldn't expect too much because in the end, if reality didn't reach your expectations, it'll just hurt you more.
it really hurts to think that you made a man for another woman but, it is what it is. you're just glad that satoru seemed to cherish his new family now.
he did changed a lot, huh.
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"satoru."
"be quick, suguru. i'm a bit busy right now." satoru said as he heard his best friend sigh at the other line.
"did (name) said something to you?" satoru immediately sat properly on his office chair when he heard your name.
"nothing much. she gave me a necklace though, why?"
"i see. look, if you have time today come in her house."
"why? what happened?"
"do you have a time today, at least?"
"i guess i could try." satoru said. "is there something wrong with (name)." satoru asked and there was a long pause from suguru's end before he answered.
-
satoru went back from what it seemed like a long trip as he sat on his office chair.
he stared at a certain velvet box on his table. his black glasses was discarded as he lightly move the office chair left to right.
he did had a hard time choosing a ring. he doesn't know of you still like the same design. did you change your preferences?he doesn't know that's why satoru bought a limited edition ring for you. he was told that the ring brings luck and now he just wanted to throw the ring in the middle of an ocean.
"brings luck my ass." he muttered. he was too tired to think. he refused to believe suguru's words because he just saw you 2 days ago. was suguru playing pranks on him again?
"she's been found in her room. unalive." suguru's words kept repeating inside his head like a broken radio as he clutched the necklace on his hand.
he was supposed to ask you to start over again, to try things out again, from there, he swore that he wouldn't do the same mistake again but it was all too late now.
maybe the universe didn't want you and him to be together again that's why they took you away from him, his son too. he knew he did mistakes back then but was it too much that they have to take his family away forever?
yeah, this must be his punishment for doing those unforgiving things to you.
-
"suguru, do you think (name) would agree if i ask her to start over again?"
"there's nothing wrong with trying, satoru, but know that people tend to change. don't be surprised when she doesn't want you in her life anymore." suguru said as his best friend kept quiet. "but what about them?"
"who?"
"your ex and your son."
"i couldn't care less about her, but i still cherish sanyu since he grew up with me, even if he's not my legal child."
"you don't really want to tell (name) about it?" suguru suggested and satoru couldn't help but think if he could do what his best friend is suggesting.
"what's the point? will it change everything?" satoru mumble, an ache going straight to his chest. "it hurts for me to say this but i only accepted to raise sanyu because i couldn't stop thinking of (name), of having a family with her. i forced myself to believe that he's our son. i didn't even know that (name) is actually carrying our child."
"why don't you just sue your ex for paternity fraud?"
"there's no point in it. she's still sanyu's mother."
"you're too nice, satoru."
no, he wasn't. in fact, he almost sent his ex to prison but he couldn't stop thinking of how sanyu will react if he found out that his mother was sent to jail by his father. he was too young for those things.
but satoru asks himself, why? why does he have to do these things? why does he have to think of how sanyu would feel? they weren't relatives anyway. he could take everything he spent for raising sanyu, he could just leave them to live their own life, but he just couldn't do it.
"if only i could go back in time." satoru mumbled and suguru didn't know what do respond to that anymore. if only.
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tags: @skylarlyn823 @mo0nforme @mor-pheus @he4rts444mi @bubblysunwoosworld @arieltate @imaniitheoneee @kaiiriiis @ichikanu @witchbybirth @yoimiya-m @hojoslutoru @itsvalomfg I COULDN'T TAG THE OTHERS SORRY TvT
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theflorasdiary · 3 months ago
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The problem with this show are not the characters or how the episodes are made,but the writers that decided to develop a literal masterpiece into a circus.
The campaign for season two literally started with making the audience choose between team black and team green:we had two trailers,two official posters and even the actors were “divided” to promote their teams.
So they basically told us to pick a side since the beginning.
Then they procede to turn team black in the saint team:making them the victims of the patriarchy,the heroes of the story.They showed us team black as if they are more Targaryen then the other team only because they know a prophecy and use this fact to excuse them from anything they do.
They made team black loved and worshiped by the small folks after Rhaenys killed hundreds of them during her dumb and useless girl boss scene and after Rhaenyra starved them.When in the book the small folks hates Rhaenyra and her incompetence,they will literally kick her out of the city and she has to run away or they will kill her just like they did with the dragons.The small folks instead loved team green,they loved Helaena as their queen and blamed and hated Rhaenyra for her death.
They forced use to like Rhaenyra just because she is one of the main characters,pushing on her the role of strong female character that is fighting a male society and then again just because she is a woman she is excused for everything that she does.We had to sit and watch two scenes of her giving birth and two of her weddings because we needed to empathize with her.We need to see her on her dragon constantly so that we can see Daenerys resemblance.They had to make her a saint,of course she wouldn’t want to kill a child she is too good,she would never hurt Helaena,everyone is loyal to her and she can do no wrong.They even took down Nettles to not show us Rhaenyra racism and the way she wanted to have a little girl killed because her pedo uncle-husband was rumored to be her lover.
On the other side we have team green that was completely dehumanized,stripped down of every good aspects they had in the book,changing and canceling everything.
We had never saw Alicent give birth to children that came to her out of marital rapes,we also did not see her getting married as a child bride to a man that will abuse her.Apparently the love of her life is Rhaenyra instead that her own children,she betrays them and her own side of the family in favor of her ex best friend that didn’t do anything to help her in the past and instead laughed in her face about her trauma.They keep telling that Alicent has never sacrificed anything when she has sacrificed her all life for duty and family unlike Rhaenyra.
Healena is totally marginal as the “weird bug girl” that just rants things out.She was a dragon rider that enjoyed being with her dragon Dreamfyre,yet in the show apparently she doesn’t like that.Even her dragon legacy was taken by team black,because now Dany dragon eggs comes from Syrax.In Viserys last days Helaena used to visit her father with her children but again this was taken from her and put on Rhaenyra instead.She was also stripped down of her coronation,of the way she was loved as a queen and how Aegon made sure that she was remembered as the true queen during the dance.They took from her the grief and mourning of her son one of the things that will literally drove her to death,because only Rhaenyra can cry her son and no one else.
Aegon was transformed into a rapist,because you can’t like him,you can only like Rhaenyra.There was no scene of him and Sunfyre beside the battle of Rook’s Rest,they have the strongest bond between a dragon and a dragon rider,he loved Sunfyre to the point he changed the family sigil to a golden dragon.They took down his will to fight,his family support and loyalty to him,his rage as a father that had lost his son.They took two of his sons,because Maelor do not exist and now he can’t have any more children because in the show he had lost his penis.They made him useless and pushed him on the sidelines in his own story.
I still don’t understand why they had to make Aemond betray his brother when in the book he was loyal to him,also in the book there was no indication of Aegon bullying him so again i don’t understand why choose this path.Daemon had a “redemption arc” after his betrayal one but of course Aemond can’t,only team black can.
Criston Cole is portrayed as an angry incel that still hates one woman that coerced him into having sex with her after he told her no multiple times.So much wasted potential in this character,when in the book he was one of the masterminds of team green,convinced Aegon to take the crown,took care of Sunfyre and served his king just right.
Daeron…sorry who?What do you mean that there is a third brother?I just know that his character will be completely destroyed,he probably will be a bastard with dark hair and we already won’t have the Maelor storyline for him,we definitely won’t see him making Ser Hugh and Ulf change sides or any of his victories with Tessarion.He will probably be marginalized like he already is,because again you can only like team black and only them can have the best.
How can you “pick a side” like they desperately want you to do,when they do shit like this?Literally forcing you to like team black because they are paint as the saints/good guys and assassinated every good thing about team green?
Keep telling me that this show is not team black propaganda and that’s is fair like this.
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world0fmadness · 4 months ago
Text
⋆ ˚。⋆ ✩ ˚ FIRE AND ICE
kimi raikkonen x cky / jackass member! wife! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter x ( platonic! ) oc son
featuring: a daughter called tilly because it’s just such a pretty name and some dico and rake slander
faceclaim: assorted but mainly lucy liu
୨୧ okay so the timeline on this one is a little messy but please just deal with it <3 i imagine they met when they were around 21, had their daughter when they were around 28 and married when they were around 30… so their daughter is around 16 years old… is that messy? a lot of this is from the pov of their daughter and fan accounts since social media wasn’t really a thing in the early 2000’s and stuff…
reading music recommendations: lost in a contraption by cky - along comes mary by bloodhound gang - your sweet 666 by him
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loveuyn: thinking about how in an old interview yn said she was going to keep her first ever car so it can be her future child’s first car and now tilly has it and absolutely loves it 🥹 photos from tilly’s social media
ckylvr: it’s so crazy seeing her drive the car that was featured in SO much of the early cky stuff 💔 every time i see her post it i do the leonardo dicaprio point like “ oh! that’s the car bam jumped off while it sped down a road ”
❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln
ynlnstomponme: i hope yn cleaned it REALLY good lmao… the amount of times people have been caught on video vomiting in it is genuinely nuts
> loveuyn: not to mention the blood lmao 😭
> ynlnsbackhand: if that car could talk…
> loveuyn: if that car could talk it’d be taking yn to court straight away for pain and suffering
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tillyraikkonenln: the best part about being a late 2000’s baby is you get all your parents cool vintage stuff :D
ynraikkonenln ✔️: you’re grounded for a year
> tillyraikkonenln: i’m sorry mom :(
❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln and kimiraikkonen
> iluvf1: teens calling stuff their parents used when THEY were teens “vintage” just to annoy them is so funny to me
> loveuyn: crying rn, the time tilly was on live and someone commented to ask yn and kimi about AOL “ what the hell is AOL”… and yn immediately giving her a whole history on how she used to flirt with boys in her school over AOL while kimi and tilly just watched her ramble from the side
> oldf1lvr: she needed to educate her baby on the old ways real quick 😭
> kimicelover: kimi had SO MUCH love in his eyes on that livestream… i want what they have
oldf1lvr: tilly, who’s your favourite grid uncle?
> tillyraikkonenln: seb!
> sebastianvettel ✔️: the greatest medal of honour! thank you tilly, come visit soon - sebastian ❤️
> lewishamilton ✔️: what at am i? chopped liver?
> tillyraikkonenln: sorry uncle lew :3
❤️ liked by lewishamilton
> jackass4ever: favourite jackass uncle?
> tillyraikkonenln: CHRIS! definitely chris
❤️ liked by chrispontious
> chrispontious ✔️: thank you very much tilly, always knew you were smarter than your mother
> ynraikkonenln ✔️: get lost 🙄
ckylvr: the amount of HIM and CKY pin badges you can spot in that pile 💔 take me backkkk
jackass4ever: what’s the nastiest thing your mom did on cky? in your opinion…
> tillyraikkonenln: kissed dico and rake 😟
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loveuyn: yn’s grid milf fashion highlight ❤️
tillyraikkonenln: i don’t think i’ll ever get used to people calling my mother a milf :(
> iluvf1: lmao poor tilly 😭
oldf1lvr: kimi in the third picture in a boring ass button up and jeans… i hate m*n
> ynlnsbackhand: she’s EVERYTHING, he’s just ken
iluvf1: i miss seeing her interact with fans in the paddock so much, bring our mom back 💔
> tillyraikkonenln: she misses interacting with people in the paddock! they’ll visit soon, her and dad have just been busy with KJ ❤️
> new2f1: KJ? who is that?
> oldf1lvr: it’s their son! they haven’t revealed his name or anything yet since he’s only 5 so they call him KJ because according to yn he’s a double of kimi
> iluvf1: kimi’s genes are incredible because tilly looks EXACTLY like him too 😭
> loveuyn: she’s a double of kimi look wise but has the exact same personality as yn
❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln
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loveuyn: gentle reminder of these adorable pictures yn posted when she was pregnant with KJ ( and the only pictures we have of him so far )
ynlnsbackhand: her comfy mom era was her best era, fight me
❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln
oldf1lvr: baby KJ 🥹 you can’t even see his face but you can tell he totally IS a copy of kimi
kimicelover: i wonder if KJ will be the future racer, since tilly is more into skateboarding and photography?
❤️ liked by tillyraikkonenln
> iluvf1: maybe! but is the grid really prepared for another iceman 🫣
jackass4ever: i love how whenever she’s in the jackass movies she’s still a total hardass but the second it comes to her babies she just crumbles 🥹
> kimicelover: it’s the same with kimi! he’s still ice cold to most people but the second he sees tilly, KJ or yn he just melts and there’s SO much video evidence of it 💔
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ynraikkonenln: my little girl helping me and kimi celebrate our anniversary by cooking dinner for us ❤️
tillyraikkonenln: i burned literally everything… and i’m not a little girl anymore, i’m 16 :(
> kimiraikkonen ✔️: we’re still grateful and you’ll always be our little girl kulta 💙
❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln and tillyraikkonenln
> tillyraikkonenln: oh and did you have to include that picture of me washing up?
> kimiraikkonen ✔️: yes, she did, it’s pretty unbelievable for a teen so we need people to see photo evidence
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loveuyn: yn ln… then and now 🥹
tillyraikkonenln: black and white filter on the first pictures made me think my own mother was dead for a second…
> loveuyn: sorry tilly 😭
iluvf1: goddamn, this woman has aged like fine wine…
ynlnsbackhand: just me who thinks she’s got hotter with age?
> oldf1lvr: definitely not just you…
> kimicelover: kimi too though… they’re both so hot as older people… i want them BOTH so bad 😭
jackass4ever: genuinely HOW is this the woman that let dico pee on her in her sleep and only hit him with a belt after?
> oldf1lvr: sorry WHAT?
> loveuyn: the iceland incident…
> ynlnsbackhand: at least ryan got back at him properly for her
> ynlnslighter: those belt whips she gave dico were fucking crazy what do you mean 😭
> ynlnsbackhand: HE PISSED ON HER
> ckylvr: everyone was pissing on each other in iceland, wtf was in the air over there?
⋆ ˚。⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆。˚ ⋆
her parents are in love… gross
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tillyraikkonenln: sigh… my parents are still SO in love even after like… 60 years… nasty
kimiraikkonen ✔️: cheeky girl… thank you for taking these pictures kulta 💙
> tillyraikkonenln: wonder who i get that from… you’re welcome isä <3
❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln and kimiraikkonen
ynraikkonenln ✔️: 60 YEARS? you’re pushing your luck missy… love you
❤️ liked by kimiraikkonen and tillyraikkonenln
kimiynlover: if i don’t ever have a love like theirs i have failed at life 💔
sebastianvettel ✔️: KJ is getting big! sending my love ❤️ - sebastian
❤️ liked by ynraikkonenln, tillyraikkonenln and kimiraikkonen
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