#now ruin has a battle axe <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[starheirxero]

I HAVE HAD A THOUGHT AND I CANNOT STOP IT SO I AM HERE

LISTEN HEAR ME OUT..

listen....

Ruin with a battle axe.

APPROVED APPROVED APPROVED !!!!!!! APPROVED SO MUCH THAT I WAS IMMEDIATELY POSSESSED BY THE URGE TO DRAW IT. THE FREAK <3<3<3

[lycheedr3ams]

Death's Angel

Part 4: Staking Claim

royal!fem!reader x executioner!konig

Summary: It's 1554. You're one of the eight daughters of the Austrian royal family, and your parents do everything they can to ensure their kingdom is prosperous and peaceful. No royal court is complete without their hand-picked executioner, one who stands out against the sea of black, faceless bodies that make up the profession. It just so happens that your family's new executioner, one who has made a name for himself far and wide for his skill with the axe, has caught your eye and ruined you for good.

Warnings: virgin!reader, oral (f,m receiving), cunnilingus, choking, slight masochism, pussy slapping, slight degradation, p in v sex, hand job, konig is demanding & a perv, dub-con if you squint, slight humiliation, slight ownership, mentions of breeding, cuddles & fluff at end (lmk if i missed anything)

this is one of the many filthy smut chapters to come!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5

I just wanted to thank everyone for your support with this fic! I spent a lot of time on this chapter, I hope everyone enjoys! &lt;3

not proofread

.......

series inspired by the art below!

you could barely process the next few seconds. the moment konig heard your words, challenging him to completely ruin you, he picked you up like you were nothing but a feather and threw you onto his bed. he really did try to be gentle. the bed creaked when you landed, and you laid there, contorting your body in an unintentionally seductive position, as you stared up at him with eyes that betrayed lust and fear. he stalked towards you laying on his bed as you waited with bated breath. he now stood right at your feet, which slightly dipped off the mattress frame, and stared down at you. his breathing was labored as he stared.

"what does a princess even want with an executioner?" he asked as he climbed over you on the bed. you now looked up at him with your head against the mattress.

you blinked, appalled by his question. wasn't it obvious? it was how he was everything you were taught not to be. how he sweated and grunted and chopped heads off while you lazily picked fine fruits off of silver platters and slept in a down mattress. how he was dangerous and free and unrestrained while you were duty-bound and predictable and soft. how he lived his life, not caring about others' opinions of him, while you were always under a microscope. you couldn't breathe free, you couldn't sleep soundly at night, you couldn't just take whatever you wanted, like he could. it was how he was the rabid wolf while you were the pampered lap dog. it was how he was death and you were a sorry excuse for life.

but all you could manage to say was -

"i like fire."

his large hand flew up to your neck and wrapped around it so easily. he could easily crush your windpipe and kill you, and it made you soaked. he applied gentle pressure to the sides of your neck with his fingers. he leaned down until his hood brushed your bare neck.

"still like fire?"

you looked up at him. "yes."

he held your neck firm as he moved his hood up slightly with his other hand to kiss you. but this wasn't the type of kiss you see in fairytales, the chaste type of kiss that princes give the princess after they've won the battle or killed the dragon. no, this was a kiss that was needy, lustful, a kiss that promised ruin and death, a kiss that stung so sweetly, a kiss that you were never meant to receive. but you received it and gave it back to him tenfold, your wet lips haphazardly gliding against his own. your arms timidly wrapped around his strong torso while your thighs seemed to open on their own to allow him closer to you as he devoured your mouth. his tongue slipped inside with a groan, and you couldn't help but whimper as his hand closed tighter around your neck.

this was the filthiest thing you had ever done, and it was just a kiss so far. your mixed spit dribbled down the sides of your mouth and down your neck, and you could feel his calloused fingers digging into the sides of your soft neck. and you could certainly feel his throbbing length pressing up on your crotch as he began to slowly grind on you. he eventually released your neck when you both gasped for air, and he readjusted his hood. he dropped his head down until his clothed nose rubbed right against your own.

"you have five seconds to get this dress off before i tear it apart," he growled.

you gasped, hopped out of bed, and undressed as he commanded. you normally wouldn't have been like this: so willing, so easy. you'd never even been touched by a man like this before, but the urgency and power in his voice didn't give you any room to think of disobeying. not that you didn't want this. no, you wanted this more than anything. besides, how would you explain why you suddenly had a dress that had been ripped to shreds? that a bear came and clawed it? perhaps your parents would believe that sooner than they would that their executioner corrupted their daughter in the bowels of the castle.

you let your nighttime dress drop to the floor with a quiet thud, and felt yourself become every shy as konig raked his eyes over your mostly naked form. he didn't say anything about your panties, and you were nervous as it is, so you kept them on. but you weren't wearing a bra, so your boobs and hardened nipples were bare for him to see.

he reached out his arms and dragged you by the waist to stand in between his legs at the bed. he wasn't gentle with you by any means. his hands gripped your waist tightly before that same pressure was applied to your breasts. you moaned breathlessly and shivered as he lifted his hood up enough so that he could take one of your hardened nipples in his wet mouth. you placed your hands on his shoulders for support as you swayed from the pleasure he was giving you. his wet, lithe tongue swirled around your nipples before sucking on them. he grunted like an animal starved against your breasts, and you pressed your thighs together as you bit your lip.

"lay down," he rasped as he half threw you back down onto the bed. you squeaked but followed his command. before you could get adjusted lying down, he yanked your panties off and didn't even bother taking them off your ankle before he spread your legs wide open. you hid your face as you blushed, but when you peeked out from between your fingers, you saw how hungrily he was staring at your pussy. his fingers dug into your thighs as he pressed your legs farther apart so that you were completely exposed to him. you blushed as you lost control of your breath. he examined your pussy like it was the last thing he would ever do. he couldn't help but stare at your perfect clit, your folds, or your cunt that was weeping and eager to take him in. it made your face so red that you had to turn your face to the side. your movement shifted his eyes towards you.

he got closer to your heat and lifted his hood so that he could access your most private area while keeping himself concealed. you couldn't stop the loud whine that escaped you when he ran his tongue over your pussy, purposefully widening it so that he touched every crevice. he didn't give you any time to adjust before he devoured your cunt like a man starved. the sounds his mouth was making were downright obscene: he slurped and sucked and grunted against your pussy as he probed your clit with his tongue and sucked on it hard. you squirmed and tried to push him away, but he held you open for him.

"stop moving," he grunted against your pussy before sliding his tongue into your soaking heat. your back arched as his silky, wet tongue probed and caressed your walls. you clenched around his tongue, and he couldn't help but groan as he thought about how it would feel when you clenched around his length. he placed his hands on the back of your knees by your thighs and pressed you open so he could access your wet cunt better. you gasped and shivered as you approached your orgasm on his tongue.

there was no way he was a virgin, because he ate your pussy so well, knowing exactly where to lick and when to suck, when to lap at you and when to do little kitten licks on your clit. your thighs shook under his massive hands, and you squirmed.

"konig! I'm -" you gasped before reaching your orgasm on his insatiable tongue. this wasn't like the orgasms you've had as you fingered yourself in your room, with your hand over your mouth so that the knights on patrol wouldn't hear you. this orgasm was completely shattering, and you clenched hard around nothing as konig sucked your clit as you rode out the waves of your pleasure. but he didn't detach from your clit, and you feebly pushed your hands against his head.

"too much! can't!" you whined. he finally removed his mouth from your cunt, but not before he lapped the juices that dripped out of your pussy. you lay back on his bed, breath ragged, sweaty, and very red with embarrassment as he stared at you, hovering over you.

"my turn," he said with almost a playful glint in his eye. you were confused, but you couldn't say anything before he manhandled you so that you were lying with your back on the bed and your head hanging upside down over the mattress. your eyes widened as you found yourself face-to-face with his massive erection. he pulled his pants down impatiently and threw them somewhere on his floor before he grabbed himself and brought his cock closer to you.

"open your mouth," he said as he pried your mouth open. he then grabbed your tongue and pulled it so that it was sticking out over your bottom lip before slowly easing his hard cock inside your mouth. he groaned the moment your soft lips wrapped around his length, and he pushed it halfway into your mouth. it was fucking huge, and tasted like salt and a little bit of sweat, but the feeling of the thick veins running through it pushing perfectly against your lips made up for the taste.

your throat bobbed, not quite used to the intrusion, as he stilled and groaned and enjoyed the feeling of your warm tongue and lips on his erection. he then, surprisingly gently, grabbed the sides of your head before slowly thrusting his length halfway in and out of your mouth. you needed some relief from the growing pleasure you felt, so you inched your hand down yourself as konig continued to use your mouth, and you stroked your clit. his eyes were currently closed, lost in the pleasure of your warm mouth, and you moaned against his cock. the vibrations sent shivers through him, and when looked down to see that you were pleasuring yourself, he bent over slightly, swatted your hand away, and rubbed your clit fervently with his index finger.

"you like sucking my cock, don't you?" he teased, and you could hear the smirk on his face. still rubbing your clit, he caressed your weeping cunt with another finger but didn't put it in.

he continued to thrust in your mouth, and his groans were like nothing you have ever heard. they were guttural, primal, and so overwhelmingly masculine. you came again on his finger, and he slapped your wet cunt, causing you to jump. he laughed quietly.

"does the princess like being handled like a common street whore?" he asked as his voice dipped several octaves. you were ashamed at how much that made you moan around his length. he grunted and his cock twitched before he extended your throat with his large hand and released his semen deep down your throat. you could feel the hot thickness of it sliding down your esophagus, and you coughed when he finally withdrew. but his length wasn't softening. was that even possible, you wondered?

when he caught you staring at his cock as you sat up, he laughed darkly.

"like what you see, princess?"

your eyes flicked up to his. "please, take your shirt off."

konig wordlessly removed his shirt, making sure his mask stayed on, before he threw his shirt on top of his discarded pants. you could now see him in his full glory, and oh did his body portray his profession. his biceps were so cut and thick, with prominent blue veins running over them. his chest and abs were defined, as were the deep ridges of his v-line. his thighs were thick and looked as strong as stone. if you didn't know any better, you would've thought he was a statue in the art wing of your castle. but your favorite part was the trail of thick hair that led down to his cock.

"you're...amazing..." you said breathlessly.

he looked like he could pounce on you at any second, like a spring just waiting to recoil.

"konig, i've... never had sex before," you admitted as you looked away from him nervously.

his energy, his demeanor, suddenly completely changed. his eyes grew dark, and his breathing almost stopped. he shook with how much he had to restrain himself.

"face down, ass up," he rasped. you were caught off guard, not expecting him to just completely breeze by that important detail, before you obeyed. you were glad for this starting position, since your face betrayed your embarrassment you feared you would never recover if he saw.

you could hear his feet padding against the cobblestone floor as he approached your exposed cunt. he slapped it again, and this time it stung. you whimpered. konig seemed to like giving you a little pain, since your whimper was met with a chuckle.

"i will take care of you, princess. just keep your ass nice and high for me," he whispered as he placed one hand on your hip and the other around his cock. you suddenly felt the tip beginning to penetrate you, and you clenched up.

"relax," he said as he rubbed his thumb in circles over your hip. "be a good girl for me and relax."

it was like konig had flipped a switch in your brain you didn't even know you had. you relaxed your walls and gasped silently as he slowly eased his hard length into you. you grasped onto the sheets at the intrusion.

"sc...scheiss," konig stuttered as he felt your wet walls take him in perfectly. he didn't let you get adjusted to his length before he grasped your hips with both hands and set a slow yet steady pace, thrusting in and out of you. his heavy balls slapped your clit with each thrust, and you moaned into the mattress.

"don't fucking hide from me," konig growled in your ear as he yanked your head up with your hair. the room was instantly filled with your moans and mewls. he held onto your hair and hip as he began to fuck you brutally.

"i never said i would be gentle," he said with a slight laugh in your ear. he seemed to be enjoying this, corrupting you and taking your first time in secret in the untouchable part of your castle.

he grunted loudly each time he sheathed his length into you, and your moans turned into barely audible screams. he was fucking you like a rabid animal, like it was his only mission to breed you and chase as much pleasure as humanly possible. it almost stung with how hard his balls now slapped at your clit, and you clenched around him.

"so fucking tight..." he rasped as he went back to holding your hips firmly in his hands. he manhandled your hips back onto him as he thrusted into you at the same time, making the experience so much more heightened.

"fucking. smiling. at me." he said with each hard thrust through gritted teeth. "tempting. me. this. whole. time." the sound of his skin slapping your own was like the steady rhythm that accompanied your loud, unrestrained moans.

"coming to my fucking room," he slurred as he continued pounding you. "following me."

you moaned and whimpered, feeling very self-conscious and embarrassed at his words. it didn't help his dick was filling you up to your skull.

"saying you can handle fire," he said in between grunts and groans. "you've...no idea..." he said as he thrusted "what you've...gotten yourself...into."

he was right, and you couldn't give a damn right now as his cock perfectly stroked your walls. he was just so deep, and hard, and you could see stars each time his tip kissed the entrance to your cervix. but your loud, guttural moans told him all he needed to know.

you knew his grip on your hips was going to leave bruises, and you didn't have the mental capacity in the moment to think of how to explain to the servants who bathed you where those marks came from. but you couldn't care less as konig claimed you again and again and again with his cock.

"take it," konig growled before his hips came to a halt, and he released his hot, thick load inside you. pregnancy chances be damned, all you wanted was his semen inside you. it was like setting a fire in your core, a fire that you never wanted to go out. he pulled out with a hiss, and you collapsed onto your stomach on the bed, panting and spent. konig also was catching his breath when you felt a gentle caress on your back. you jolted at the touch, feeling a bit overstimulated. he pulled his hand away.

"i'm not done with you yet, princess," konig whispered against the sweaty skin of your back before he kissed down your spine. you shivered at the feeling of his warm lips gliding over your skin, all the way down to the top of your ass.

"can't....take anymore," you murmured tiredly. konig exhaled against your back.

"you have hands, don't you?" he asked, only half teasing. he rolled you onto your back and laid next to you in bed. he wrapped his large arm around you, holding you in close to his side, and wrapped your hand around his semi-hard cock. he threw his head back as you began to pump him. you nuzzled your lips against his hood, and he eventually got the hint and lifted his mask up slightly so that he could capture your lips once again. he pulled you closer to him by your neck as his tongue invaded your mouth. his hips bucked up into your hand, and you squeezed him. he groaned in your mouth.

"so gut," he whispered against your lips. you pumped him faster, your lips never detaching from his, before he came all over his stomach with a groan. you both lay panting once again, you trying to catch your breath from the kiss and him from his orgasm. you pulled your hand away from his softening cock and laid it awkwardly on the side of your body.

konig rolled slightly over and picked up a cloth that was lying by his bed on the floor. he wiped his stomach clean, and then sat up.

"spread 'em," he said as he grabbed one of your thighs and held it up and open.

"wait, is that the cloth I gave you?" you asked him, blood rising to your cheeks.

"ja," he said simply before gently wiping your cunt clean.

"that...that cloth was...to wipe your sweat, or something..." you murmured as you watched him clean you.

"it's mine now. i can use it how i please," he said before he threw it back on the floor. he laid down next to you once again. you cuddled up into his side nervously and hesitantly laid a hand on his chest. he wrapped his arm around you and held you close by your back.

"don't tell anyone about this, ja?" he said against your scalp.

you nodded. "of course."

"you are mine now," he declared. you looked up at him, your cheek resting on his chest and your brows lifted in confusion and disbelief.

"what do you mean?" you asked, your voice rising in pitch a bit.

"you are mine." he repeated, and he didn't speak for the rest of the night. eventually, you got up out of bed and sheepishly put your clothes back on while konig admired the view, still laying down with his hands behind his head. he laid on his bed, completely naked, like it was the most natural thing in the world. the man oozed confidence. when you stumbled a bit as you walked, he chuckled quietly. you rolled your eyes at him.

"well...goodnight, then," you said awkwardly as you turned to go to his door to leave. but he got up suddenly and placed his hand on your shoulder. you looked back at him, confused, before he lifted his hood slightly and gently pecked you on the lips. and so you left his room feeling giddy, sore, and much too obsessed with the executioner.

taglist: @kneelingshadowsalome, @plumdreadful, @dumb-dumb-idiot-girl, @elichisstuff, @konig-breedme, @tr4psta, @cutiecusp, @konigsleftkidney, @local-vampire-s1ut, @ihaveaproblematicbrain, @twice360noscope

[veinsfullofstars]

“I. Am going. To kill that rat.” “What was that, Boss?” “I said, BACK TO YOUR POSTS NOW!” “Y-Y-Yes, sir, right away, sir!”

(ID: Kirby series fanart comic, four borderless panels featuring Dark Meta Knight, Mirror Axe Knight, and Mirror Mace Knight, in which the latter two comment on their leader’s interesting new battle scars, much to his restrained dismay. Transcript below the cut. END ID.)

Good thing his minions aren’t the brightest bulbs in the bunch - otherwise they’d’ve found out about all the friendly hugs he’s been getting in his off-time.

(… this isn’t too much, is it? Stars, I hope not. I tried to keep it vague enough that it doesn’t have to mean anything spicy. Maybe it was just a very competitive game of tag. Or maybe DMK couldn’t quite reach an itch between his wings and Daroach got a bit overenthusiastic trying to help. Basically anything that could ruin his “big scary cool toughguy” reputation. As long as DMK is too embarrassed to admit to it in front of his crew, they’re all viable options, haha.)

Started 12/25/23, finished 12/28/23, updated 01/04/24, updated for color correction 11/02/24. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 01/04/24. | Kintsugi AU Masterpost

—

Transcript:

Panel 1

*DMK walking forward towards our left, M!Axe and M!Mace passing by in the opposite direction, M!Axe waves cheerily to DMK, who glances at them over his shoulder*

M!Axe: Oh, Boss, there you are! Hey, how was the fight? Didja win?

DMK: Hm? What’re you talking about?

Panel 2

*reverse shot of DMK, still glancing over his shoulder, several pink scratch lines can be seen on his back and the base of his wings, each in sets of three*

M!Mace: Got some new scratches on your back, Boss. Nasty ones, too, by the look of it.

M!Axe: (laughing, impressed) Ha! Musta been one heck of a scrap to leave marks like that! I’d hate to see what happened to the other guy, haha!

Panel 3

*front shot of DMK, his eyes shrunk to dots in realization, as a thought bubble hovers over his head - a simple headshot of Daroach, grinning roguishly beneath the shadow of his hat, showing off his claws as they glint sharply*

Panel 4

*front shot of DMK, sweating and glaring fixedly off to the side, eyes still shrunk, a vivid blush inside his visor, while M!Axe and M!Mace stand where they were before behind him, heads tilted in innocent confusion*

DMK: (strained) … … … Yes. … … A fight. … That’s what happened.

[sillovn]

Shadow of the Erdtree: Review?

Been itching to get this off my chest, full thoughts on Shadow of Erdtree – there’s alot to say.

~~Major Spoilers Ahead~~

To best summarize, SotE is more Elden Ring - for better and for worse. An attempt to redo the base game in a microcosm; its not unreasonable to call this ER2. In that sense, it succeeds. But, if you have any conceptual problems with base-game ER (too projectile heavy, open world too empty, weapon art spam) – here’s to more of the same.

Encounters

Regular enemies are a more consistent threat. A gripe I have with base-game ER is that ‘Godrick Soldier’ type foes do not have enough dmg/hp, you can quite easily charge headlong into groups of 3-4. Messmer’s rank and file troops have the ‘DS1 hollow’ feel; where even basic enemies will deal enough damage to be worth your respect.

There is also more emphasis on ‘combat problems’ where enemy and environment interacts; from the Forge-Golems that act as walking obstacles in narrow halls, to the Belurat Priests who provide support fire from the roofs. IMO, non-boss encounters can be very compelling and memorable (see. Sens Fortress) and preferable to having a throwaway boss (ER dragons, cave bosses etc.). Which leads to…

Ruined Forges and Catacombs

ER would have benefited from fewer, more fleshed out side dungeons. As it turns out, SotE delivers on that. Catacombs are extensive, each with its own environmental condition. Ruined Forges are almost pure-puzzle areas, with no end boss.

Some may call it a gimmick, but I like that side-dungeons present a different pace/challenge type – they’re not just tiny-underbaked versions of regular story dungeons. There is an understanding that the compelling part of a Ruined Forge *is* the puzzle element – there's no obligation to put an end boss if you don't need one.

As a sidenote, I haven’t looked at how the PvP scene is shaping out, *BUT* I need to see fight clubs in Ruined Forges.

Overall, biggest strength of SotE is the quality of the dungeons

Player NPC type battles are much better. They now incorporate jumps to avoid and punish your attacks etc.

Furnace Golems are... eh? its fine to fight once.

The World

My biggest gripe with ER as a whole is that it has many elements that make a better ‘play it once’ game, but also worse for subsequent runs. If you didn’t like how Giant’s Mountaintops had vast (albeit very scenic) sections with no gameplay, the Shadow Lands are just more of that, while also much more vertical than any previous map.

These are the most striking vistas in ER, and I dread having to climb Jagged Peak ever again…

SotE also includes elements that really encourage ‘map-scraping’ for its own sake; Scadutree Fragments, whole areas locked behind tiny ravines, arbitrary treasure placement. The open-world feels exhausting. Then, there is the double down on questionable concepts...

rare consumables/materials

rare drop-only equipment

weapons dropping from 1 *very-specific* enemy as opposed to anything that wields it (see. Black Knight weapons)

Treasure placement/choice is just strange. Many new weapons/spells are just lying on random corpses, meanwhile there's so many treasure chests that contain things like currency runes and smithing stones.

New Weapons, Spells, Ashes of War

The new weapon classes are all winners to me, they are compelling on the moveset level, not just numbers and AoW options. The main issue now, is that many old weapons feel only relevant due to numbers. For example: I beat the evergoal NPC’s by mashing with a Great-hammer. Effective? Sure, but I dislike how even large weapons are fast in absolute terms. Outside of colossal and polearm types, weapons are very mash-y (TBF this is an ER problem, not SotE specific). The throwing variants of weapons are a nice surprise (ranged attack really spices up the default axe moveset). Main problem? The thrown versions are banned from using many AoW, so the already limited choice is even smaller.

New spell are in an odd place - being very cool but also likely bad. It is nice to see ‘high-end’ spells (Incants especially) that are appropriately interesting and finally make use of ER’s inflated stats (eg. Minor Erdtree). Caster equipment in ER is *very plain*, and SotE (finally) adds a universal sorc-incant staff (which should have existed in the base-game anyway). Besides that, the new seals are nothing to write home about.

New ashes are solid all around, only gripe would be that many (Wing Stance etc.) are just ultra-specific to a particular weapon class. Personally, very happy with ‘We have Death’s Poker at home’ and Crucible Wings.

Lore

Will only briefly touch lore, as there’s just *so much* to say that it deserves a separate entry. Ill sum it with the following.

Main plot doesn't have an interesting payoff (also fucks with source material in weird ways)

Ending is bad (very funny)

Marika-Messmer get fleshed out as people. But doesn't really explore the how of Marika's ascension or Messmer's curse to any degree Im happy with.

Dragon plot ties up surprisingly neatly, and very directly too. Unusual by FROM standards.

Finger lore really delivered - answers some questions, poses deeper more interesting ones.

Crucible(s) gets fleshed out, but is (somehow) even less coherent now.

[fanartfic]

Blood for the Blood god.

Tavya goes into the depths of the undercity to rescue Halsin from Orin’s torment.

TW: Blood, battle, talk of loss, violence, mild language (like, one b word, that’s about it.)

Also, Act 3 spoilers. Read at your own peril.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{*}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you have proof of your faith to our lord?

The door to Bhaal’s temple awaited Tav’s reply. She held up the amulet. “I have proven myself. I carry an Amulet of Bhaal, let me pass.”

You hold proof of faith, but to hold and deserve are different. Have you proven yourself in the Dread Lord’s eyes.

Tavya’s eyes narrowed as she eyed the door. “I slaughtered the Murder Tribunal. Sarevok’s blood has been spilled for Bhaal.”

Unorthodox. . . But a show of faith nonetheless. Walk in Blood.

The door slowly lifted, revealing the passageway within. Tav looked over her shoulder at her companions, who stood behind her, nervously shifting their feet.

Well, all except for Lae’Zel. She seemed to vibrate in anticipation of the coming violence, her giant githyanki longsword held in her hands, ready to strike at a moments notice.

“Last chance to turn around,” Tav said, turning to face them.

“Halsin needs help.” Karlach shifted her axe off her shoulder.

“Chk! Only a coward would turn back now,”

Shadowheart took in a deep steadying breath. “Well, someone has to keep you folks alive,”

Tav smiled gratefully.

“Let's go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~}}{{~~~~~~~~~~

The journey through the dungeon was difficult, as every step of their way was tested by the servants of Bhaal. Tav could feel the blood dripping off of her hands by the time they finally made it to the doors of the inner sanctum, and a good bit of it was her own.

A grim determination settled in her eyes. She was loathe to rest when they were so close, but she also knew the prior fights had left them depleted. They found a secluded chamber in the Undercity ruins nearby to make camp.

Tav sat by their small fire, running a whetstone along the edge of her blade. Lae’Zel joined her, offering her some oil to ease the process.

“Thank you,” said Tav, taking the oil and dripping some along the blade.

“You are at unrest.” Lae’Zel observed.

“That would be one way to put it.”

“You crave this battle,”

Tav paused with her whetstone, thumbing the blade to test the sharpness.

“I never crave battle.” She said, resuming with the whetstone. “But Orin made a mistake taking someone I care about.”

“I wonder. . . Is this something you would have done for the rest of us?”

Tav looked over at Lae’Zel. “Of course, I would have. What makes you think otherwise?”

“It is that Halsin and you seem particularly close. It is clear you desire one another. Would you have taken such risks if myself, or any of the others were taken instead?”

Tav set down the whetstone and sheathed her blade.

“You– all of you– have become like family to me. There is hardly nothing I wouldn't do to make sure you were safe.”

“T’skva. A weakness to be exploited,”

“No, it's where my strength comes from.” Tav’s eyes bore into Lae’Zel. “I know your customs aren't like mine. Your kind are all about survival of the fittest. But here, in Faerun, true strength comes from those who choose to fight by your side, not from what your power is alone.”

Lae’Zel considered her words. Truly, some of her most glorious battles had happened after meeting her on the illithid ship. And always in the company of the others in their group. There was truth to her words.

Tavya continued. “And as someone who has been on both sides of that line, I can assure you that I am stronger for the friends and companions I have than I ever was when I wandered by myself.”

She handed the oil back to Lae’Zel.

“So yes, if Orin had taken you, I would have come for you with just as much zeal.”

Lae’Zel held Tav’s gaze. Those eyes were unwavering in her conviction. She nodded her head in reply as she pocketed the blade oil and returned to her bedroll.

Tav finished maintaining her weapons and armor and tried to rest, but meditation was fleeting. After failing for several hours, she sat up and looked over at Shadowheart, who was on watch.

“Get some sleep. I'll take watch.”

Shadowheart turned to face her. “It isn't your turn yet,”

“And rest is evading me. I might as well stay awake.”

Shadowheart came over to her and sat down beside her.

“I'll keep you company for a bit.” She said.

They sat in silence for a while, staring into the crackling embers of the fire. At length, Shadowheart spoke.

“I overheard what you said to Lae’Zel.”

Tav pulled her gaze from the fire and looked at the young half elf beside her.

“I. . . I’ve never had anyone care for me like this before. I'm at a loss.”

Tav’s somber face broke as a small smile lifted her face.

“Your parents love you very much,” she said, looping an arm around Shadowheart's back.

“How do you know?” She asked. “How could you possibly know?”

“Because I am a mother myself.” Tav explained. “And I would have done anything for my daughter.”

Shadowheart blinked in surprise.

“You have a daughter?”

Tav’s smile faded as she pulled a locket from beneath her shirt.

“I did.”

“Oh. . . I'm sorry.”

Tav opened the locket and looked at the image within. Shadowheart could see the family portrait.

“Who is he?” She asked, pointing at Terryn’s likeness.

“My husband.”

“What happened to them?”

Tav sighed heavily as she closed the locket and put it away beneath her tunic.

“They’re both gone.”

“Gods. . . I'm sorry.”

Tav leaned her shoulder and gave Shadowheart a nudge. “It's alright. . . The wounds are still fresh, but becoming more bearable. All of you had a part in that.”

“And Halsin?”

“Especially Halsin.”

Shadowheart nodded in understanding. In the course of their journey she had come to love everyone, even Lae’Zel, as family.

“We’ll get him back.” She said, resting a reassuring hand on Tav’s arm. “With Selune’s guidance.”

Tav nodded. “And the Oak Father’s blessing.” She said.

They continued to watch the fire until Shadowheart began to sway as she fell asleep. Tav adjusted her legs so that Shadowheart could lay her head in her lap.

“Sleep well,” Tav whispered.

Then, out of impulse, or practiced routine, she didn't know which, she bent over and gently kissed Shadowheart's temple.

Even tho Tav hadn't rested very much, she felt revived once what they could only assume was the morning sun began lightening the Undercity. She took a moment to offer up a quick prayer before joining the others on the path up to Bhaal’s temple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•}{•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We’ve got a hell of a fight coming. You ready for it?”

Karlach came up next to Tav, her axe resting easy on her shoulder.

Tav checked her pack and reassured herself with the stash of health potions within. “I'm ready. How many potions do you have?”

“One or two, I think.”

“Well, is it one or two?” Tav said, raising an eyebrow. “You're the one who is going to be taking the brunt of this.”

Karlach checked the pouch at her belt and looked up sheepishly. “Uh. . .one.”

Tav huffed and pulled out three more potions from her pack. The stronger ones that could heal deeper wounds.

“Here. Use them wisely.”

“Thanks, Mama T.” Karlach said as she gratefully pocketed the vials. Tav looked over at Lae’Zel.

“How about you, how many healing potions do you have?” She asked, walking over.

Lae’Zel took a quick look. “I have 3 small vials.”

Tav pressed two more bottles into her hand. “Take these.”

“My thanks.”

“I’m good on potions, and my spells can heal me too.” Said Shadowheart.

Tav nodded, then looked at the 3 small vials left to her before shouldering her pack.

It would have to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°{°}°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting through the main door of the temple was easier than Tav had anticipated. All that had been needed was the amulet, and no proof of faith was asked for.

Blood soaked stone surrounded them on all sides, and the smell of rotting flesh and fresh blood intermingled together into a fetid stench. As they came out into the main chamber, they spotted the alter to Bhaal, situated below them down a grand staircase. The visage of a skull was carved into the stone above it, leering at those who beheld it with red glowing eyes.

Tav’s breath came out in a stifled gasp.

There was Halsin, bound hand and foot in chains, with Orin kneeling over him. He looked unconscious.

Something told Tav that was a mercy.

“Easy soldier,” Karlach gripped Tav’s armored shoulder. “Keep your head about you.”

Tav took in a steadying breath and nodded as a familiar look of determination settled in.

“Let's go. . . There is no stealth about this mission,” she said, heading down the stairs.

“Hush, hush, I hear footsteps trip-trapping on the Murder Lord’s stone.” Orin’s voice was a hiss, as if through gritted teeth. She spoke to Halsin as if he could hear her. It grated Tav’s ears. “It lied to me. It lets the tyrant live, and crawls into Bhaal’s sanctum instead.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[•]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tav stopped a few yards away. Orin was unpredictable, and she didn't know if she would slaughter Halsin right then and there. Orin looked up with murderous eyes.

“Oh…tsk tsk tsk… did it think it could protect? Did it think it could save? Only the blade can offer salvation.” That wicked red dagger, with the Netherstones embedded in its hilt, glinted maliciously in the light as Orin moved to slit Halsin’s throat.

“Anything you do to him, I will inflict on you tenfold.” Tav said with a growl.

Orin paused, intrigued. “And what does it think it could inflict?”

“Fight us and find out.”

“It thinks I should give up this sacrifice. How quaint.” Orin’s neck twisted in an unsettling fashion so she could lock eyes with Tav.

“You’re the one who said Bhaal wanted us to fight. Won’t he reject this offering?” Tav pointed out, remembering all she could about the god of murder.

“You do not lie. It is your blood I am determined to spill. Your death spot will stain these walls, little lamb.” she stood up and stepped over Halsin, jumping lightly to the ground and approaching the group. “Your murder should have been exquisite, a crypt born effigy to Bhaal's bleeding dawn. Now, it will be nothing. It is ruined.”

“I will ensure you will meet the same fate as your grandfather,” Tav warned. “In fact, I'll send you to him myself.”

Orin froze, her face twisting in rage.

“No. No! His crimson was mine to spill!”

“Beat you to it, bitch!” Tav retorted.

Karlach cast a side-eye at Lae’Zel and Shadowheart. This was a side of Tav they hadn’t seen before. Lae’Zel nodded and readied herself.

“You wretch! I will bathe in your blood!” Orin screeched. She looked up at the ceiling with outstretched arms “Come to me, Father. Set my flesh to your unholy purpose!”

Orin’s bones snapped and rearranged, and in what looked like an explosion of blood, transformed before them into a monstrous beast. A toothy maw opened up in a roar, and four arms ending in cruel clawed hands extended towards them. A long tail flicked back and forth, ready to swipe someone's feet from under them. And it was twice as tall as Karlach. Tav took a moment to recenter herself. She had only heard of such creatures. Slayers, a higher form of shape-changers known to serve Bhaal. She sent up a quick prayer to Sylvanus.

“I know I’m not the best of your followers, but you have always helped Halsin…. I beg you, help me save him again.” She muttered under her breath as her free hand went to where her amulet rested under her breastplate. She cast her hunters mark as she pulled her bow from her shoulder and nocked an arrow.

“Karlach! Lae’Zel! Now!”

“You are not the only one who craves blood, istick!” Lae’Zel cried, charging with her silver greatsword at the ready. Karlach let out a war cry of her own, her infernal engine going to work as she once again used a soul coin.

Shadowheart looked around a the baleful clerics that surrounded the platform, praying to their obscene god. Their chanting sent power to the skull, which then protected Orin with a shimmering red shield of energy. Two more of the cultists fanned out on either side, readying their weapons.

“I got the clerics, Tav. Get the other two!” Shadowheart called out as she ran towards the nearest one. She tried to swing at him with her mace, but found her blow ineffective. He had cast Sanctuary on himself. He looked at Shadowheart smugly as he continued to chant.

“Well then, guess we’ll do a different approach,” Shadowheart huffed. “Ire et Dolor!”

A flash of golden light and her guardians appeared, swirling around her in a protective circle. They centered in on the cleric and attacked, hitting him with radiant energy. With a look of shock and terror, he burst into white flame and fell screaming to the floor.

One down, 7 more to go. Shadowheart cast a healing spell on Karlach, who had gotten hit a few times before moving on to the next one.

As Karlach and Lae’Zel kept Orin occupied, Tavya went to work on the other two. The first one went down easy, with an arrow in his throat. The other one, however, had a trick up their sleeve.

They went invisible.

Too bad for them, Tavya had a tool at her disposal. At the beginning of their journey, the eccentric bard Volo had offered to try and remove the parasite, and Tav, desperate as she had been, and maybe a little drunk, had agreed.

Volo’s exploration of her orbital cavity had resulted in her eye being popped out. To avoid the wrath of the elven ranger, Volvo offered a replacement. A magic item that could see invisibility: An All-Seeing Eye.

Tav could see him, creeping around to her side, a cruel looking sword drawn and a spell at the ready in his hands. Tav pretended she didn’t see him, instead sending an arrow off towards Orin. Just as the cultist was about to strike, Tav pounced, pulling out her sword and swiping its keen edge across his belly. His guts spilled to the floor, and he looked on in shock as he fell to his knees in his own viscera.

“Nice try,” said Tav, her attention zeroing in on Orin.

Shadowheart had finished off about half of the chanting cultists by then. Karlach finally landed a hit on one of Orin’s claws. An ear splitting screech echoed in the cavern and Orin retaliated, focusing all of her fury on the barbarian.

This was going to be a long fight. Tav fired off arrow after arrow, only to watch as Orin dodged them with unnatural speed. Orin was frighteningly fast in this form. She laid into Karlach and Lae'Zel with a barrage of hits, slicing their skin through their armor as if it wasn’t even there. Karlach managed a few solid hits on the creature’s body, but after a few moments, it was clear that they might be outmatched by the monster.

Four strikes sliced across Karlach’s body and sent her skidding backwards. She had managed to keep her feet, but blood was pouring from the wounds. Karlach reached into the pouch on her belt and pulled out a potion.

Tav knew it wasn’t going to be enough.

“On my oath, as a servant of Sylvanus, You will die today!” She cried, letting her arrow loose.

After several more tense moments and exhausting all of their potions and spells, Lae’Zel was hit hard and flung across the platform to crash into Shadowheart, who lost her concentration on her guardians. Tav herself had just received a nasty blow to her arm, and it burned as she moved towards the edge of the platform, pulling her bow from her shoulder. She cast hunter’s mark on Orin once again, as the latest onslaught had broken her concentration.

A green and golden glow shone through the cavern as the arrow streaked towards its target. The shot was straight and true, landing into Orin’s chest. It buried itself deep, bursting into vines that wrapped around Orin’s beastly body and dropped her to the floor, writhing in agony. Karlach took advantage of the opening and buried her axe deep into the monster’s leg. Orin responded by diving a claw into Karlach’s shoulder and pushing her back. Tav dropped her bow and ran back up to the creature, brandishing her sword and shield. She blocked one hit, then sliced off the offending hand. Orin screeched and shifted back into her humanoid form, reaching out a pleading hand. Her white skin was no longer visible under all the blood that coated her body.

“No, don’t!” She gasped, clutching at the arrow in her chest.

“The only blood you’ll bathe in is your own, witch.” Tav said, her voice low. She stepped to the side of Orin’s last ditch effort to wound her and swung downward, her adamantine blade neatly slicing into Orin’s exposed neck. Her head dropped to the floor with a thud, the rest of her body following shortly after.

It was finally done. Orin’s body seemed to disintegrate into a pool of blood and viscera, leaving behind only her belongings. The Netherstone gleamed in the hilt of the dagger, inviting her to take it and sieze it’s power.

Tav’s attention was elsewhere tho. She ran over to Karlach and helped her to her feet, shoving her last potion into the tiefling’s hand.

“Here, take this.” She said, uncorking it.

“Thanks, Mama T,” Karlach smiled a grim smile, downing the potion. “Gods that hurt. How are the others?”

Tav glanced around and found Shadowheart helping Lae’Zel to her feet. She too was covered in blood, a satisfied grin on her face. Her armor was now beat up and in desperate need of repairs.

“Do you have anything left?” Shadowheart asked, leading Lae’Zel over to them. “I am all out of everything.”

Tav drew her strength together for one last healing spell, casting it on Lae’Zel so that she would stop bleeding from every cut on her body. For the moment, everyone was alive and on their feet. It would have to do for now. She looked back to the altar where Halsin lay still and motionless and began to see red. Literally.

Tav wiped away the blood that had begun to drip into her eye. She had gotten a nasty cut that stretched vertically from her cheekbone to the middle of her forehand.

“Ooh, that looks bad,” Karlach grabbed Tav’s arm and looked her over. “You got a potion?” Tav shook her head. “No, I gave you my last one. Thankfully, it didn’t hit my eye.” She dabbed at the wound with the back of her glove as she rushed over to Halsin, who lay totally and completely vulnerable on the cold stone.

“Halsin! Can you hear me?” Tav worked to remove the chains, but it was useless. She couldn’t break the lock, and she had left her lock pick kit back at camp to make room for the healing potions.

“Damn it, there has to be a key somewhere,” Tav looked around desperately until a glint on the gruesome pile that was Orin caught her eye. She ran over to it and found a small key.

“Gods I hope this works,” Tav muttered to herself as she rushed back over to the alter and tried the key in the locks.

A click, and the cuff fell away from Halsin’s wrist. In desperate haste she unlocked his other hand and the cuffs around his ankles, then leaned over him, grasping each side of his face.

“Halsin? Halsin!”

He didn’t respond. Tav climbed up onto the altar, and pulled Halsin’s head and shoulders into her lap. “Halsin!”

His skin was cold and clammy. Tav feared the worst. “No. . . No, no, no, no, no.” Tav squeezed her eyes shut as the tears flowed down her face. “No, not again. I can’t do this again!” She sobbed, holding Halsin close. She buried her face into the crook of his neck, taking no comfort now in the familiar smell of leather and herbs that came from his shirt.

“We can’t leave Halsin,” said Karlach.

The others looked on helplessly as Tav wept on the altar. Shadowheart looked around furtively. “We should leave this place.’ She said.

“He is too heavy to take with us,” said Lae’Zel, always the pragmatist. “And in our condition, we are far too weak to carry him.”

Karlach growled in frustration and looked over at Tav.

“Just give her a moment, okay?”

Tav clutched Halsin close to her heart. She kissed his forehead before looking up at the stone ceiling of the cavern above her.

“Please, Sylvanus! Help us!” She sobbed.

She said nothing more, only continued to hold the elven Druid, lightly rocking back and forth.

A warm sensation began in her chest, then extended down her arm. She looked up and saw her hand glowing in a pale green light.

One last bit of healing magic that was left to her.

Tav closed her eyes and sighed, pressing the palm of her hand onto Halsin’s chest, her forehead against his as she silently prayed.

A few moments later, and she felt trembling fingers cover her own, then heard Halsin take in a deep breath and cough as he finally came back to consciousness. He looked up at Tav in bewilderment.

“You came for me?. . . I. . .Thank you.”

Tav sobbed as relief flooded her. “Of course I did! I’ll always come for you!”

Halsin moved to sit up opposite of Tav on the altar. “I feared Orin’s accursed grin would be the last thing I ever beheld.” He grabbed Tav by the shoulders. “You are really Tavya, yes?” He asked. “You’re not Orin again, come back to torment me?”

“It’s me, Halsin.” Tav cupped his cheek in her hand, her tears freely and unashamedly falling down her face.

“Recall something, anything that only you have told me then.” Halsin asked. “Please, I need this peace.”

Tav looked up at him and thought for a moment. She knew she would have to remember something from before defeating Ketheric.

“Remember our first night in the Shadowlands?”

“Of course, I woke you from a nightmare.”

Tav nodded. “I told you about my life before the Nautoloid, before all of this. About my daughter and husband.”

“What were their names?” Halsin asked apprehensively.

Tav pulled the locket and ring out from under her armor, the silver chain glittered in the light. “Japheth and Terryn.”

Halsin pulled her in for a bone crushing hug, finally letting relief flood him to his very core. He buried his face into her hair that still smelled of mint and rosemary in spite of being soaked in blood and the battle that she had just fought. Tavya winced as her unhealed wounds made their presence known, but she didn't care, and wrapped her arms as far as she could reach around the druid. His shoulders began to shake as he wept in relief.

Tav let him. After everything he had just been through, he deserved it.

After a few moments, Tavya tapped his back, kissing his cheek lightly as she pulled away.

“Now lets get the hells out of here.” She said, standing up, wiping her own tears from her face.

“Absolutely.” Halsin agreed, composing himself. He hopped off the table. “But first, let me see to that cut.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•§•~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[sacred-stanning]

Chapter 15 Part 2: Checking out the map

Here's the Jehana map. Since this is Ephraim route, we start on the bottom left here.

Moving up, we can see a smattering of enemies, and then a big clump around Caellach in the upper left corner of the map.

The big pyramid-thingy is the now-ruined Jehana castle. Moving to the right along the top of the map, there are a couple guys near the castle. And then down from there, there's a clump of wyverns.

In the bottom right corner, right of our starting position, we have Valter and a metric crap-ton of units nearby him.

Upon starting the map, Eirika, Innes, and Saleh appear.

They appear here, on the other side of the desert from Ephraim's starting position. So one of the early goals of this map is to get at least some units up their way so that they don't overwhelmed. There aren't a lot of enemies around them now, but there will be reinforcements in a bit.

Before playing the map though, here are some key enemies. This berserker to the right of Eirika has a Dragon Axe that he'll drop, which does effective damage against dragon-type enemies.

Here's Caellach. He has a Silver Axe and a Tomahawk, which is a more powerful hand axe, and he carries a Hoplon Guard, which prevents him from taking any critical hits. (If only Ephraim had had this in the last map... *grumble* *grumble*)

Nearby him is a shaman with a droppable Luna Tome. I don't particularly need a Luna Tome, so I might sell it once I get it.

Here's the other boss, Valter, in the lower right. He has a Silver Lance and a Slender Spear, and he carries a Fili Shield, which undoes effective damage to fliers. So shooting him with arrows won't do 3x damage even though he's on a wyvern.

Nearby Valter is this Troubadour with a Berserk Staff that she'll drop.

Also near Valter is this Berserker with a Devil's Axe, which has a (31 - Luck)% chance to hurt the user instead of the enemy.

Also near Valter is this Shaman with an Eclipse Tome, which has 3-10 range and reduces HP by 1/2. It has an absolutely garbage hit rate though.

This guy also has a Guiding Ring, which I wouldn't mind stealing, but I don't want it enough that I'm using up a slot bringing Rennac.

Vanessa alighted next to Lute. She had been relieved of her duty to go ahead and look for enemies, so she wanted to keep her promise.

Lute looked up from the book she was reading on horseback. "Hello," she said. "You are riding Titania, not Lute."

"Hi," Vanessa responded, suddenly feeling self-conscious. The situation their army was in was dire, and she also just wasn't used to engaging in casual conversation while on a mission in front of her fellow soldiers.

But Vanessa thought back to what Moulder had told her, "It's ok to have friends. It's ok to be a person."

Vanessa stroked Titania's neck and looked at Lute. "Yeah, I wanted to make sure Titania got some exercise as well since she hasn't been seeing any action in battles recently."

Lute nodded silently, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

"I was reading about bug species in the Jehana desert. Did you know that there are almost 200 species that have been identified as endemic to the region?" Lute's eyes were wide, and Vanessa could see the excitement in her face.

"Wow," Vanessa said, unsure how to respond. She wasn't terribly knowledgeable or excited about bugs, but she was still happy that Lute wanted to share this with her.

"Also, even though we're not quite in the desert proper yet, I've already noticed that the climate is much drier here, and I'm seeing species that I haven't seen before in Renais, Frelia, or Grado! For instance, I saw a Jehana Flycatcher just a couple of minutes ago! They are birds who prefer dry enviroments, so they are not usually seen outside of Jehana proper, but it is not unheard of for them to come down a little to the south."

"That's neat!" Vanessa responded. "I don't know much about birds, but I definitely have noticed some of the different ones we've seen in different regions. If you see another one, let me know!"

Lute looked at Vanessa's face as she spoke. She had learned from talking to people in her village that most people usually got bored and stopped listening when she talked about interesting things like animals, monsters or spells. She was happy to see that Vanessa appeared to be listening to everything she had to say.

Lute knew from experience that many people were not fans of insects, but she decided to try sharing something with Vanessa. "Well, speaking of new creatures, I actually discovered an entirely new species of insect that was not described in any of my books!" As she spoke, she pulled a small glass jar out of a pocket in her dress and held it out for Vanessa to see.

Vanessa nudged Titania to move closer to Lute's horse and she leaned her body over to peer more closely at the contents of the jar.

"It's really pretty! What a nice emerald color its wings are!"

Lute could feel herself smiling. Vanessa liked the insect! She saw how beautiful it was and didn't call it an icky bug!

"Since it is a new species, I can name it," Lute declared as she tucked the jar back in her pocket. "I am planning to publish my own book of animals after this war is done. I have been taking extensive notes on various creatures I have observed while we have been traveling."

Vanessa smiled at Lute. "What are you going to name it?"

"I'm going to call it an Emerald Wing Dung Beetle!" Lute beamed, "I found it in a pile of pegasus dung when we took that last break!"

Then Lute smirked at Vanessa in a way Vanessa hadn't ever seen before.

"But I also need to give it a scientific name, and since its shade of green is the same color as your hair, and it likes pegasi, I'm going to name it Vanessica Vanessicus!"

Vanessa drew her head back slightly and arched her eyebrows. "You're naming a dung beetle after me!?"

"Heh heh." Lute chuckled, smiling and looking down slightly.

Vanessa rolled her eyes and laughed, "Hah!" She shook her head and looked at Lute, "And what if I say I don't want the whole world knowing me as a dung beetle?"

"Well, I will not insist on it, but it really is a fitting name."

"Hmph. Fine. You win this one. But just wait. I'm going to find a new species of skunk and name it after you some day!"

Lute knew from the context of the conversation that Vanessa was teasing her, but she couldn't help herself. "I would love that, actually!"

Vanessa laughed again and said, "Yeah, you would, wouldn't you? I'll have to think of another way to get my revenge."

Lute put her hand on the pocket with the jar in it. She felt happy knowing that the dung beetle was there. She felt happy that Vanessa liked the name. "It's good to have a friend!" she thought.

Next time: Hurrying to Eirika's rescue!

[punchyboy]

Here's a game I haven't played as much as I ought to. I bought Baldur's Gate 3 in early access just before it launched and I've mostly been playing multiplayer with the boys. I think it's high time I gave it some single player attention, and what better way than by bringing the glory of The Champion to the premises?

This is going to be a standard playthrough of Balanced mode without the Dark Urge background on a custom character.

Here's the punchy boy of the hour. The reason I went with Barb is that Monk is a lot more DEX focused, and The Champion is not about skill and efficiency. He's about punching BIG and HARD, preferably with painful things that most people aren't going to think of as weapons.

After our character is done, we proceed to the tutorial level.

So this is unusual. Our Champion has somehow found himself in distress. Between being captured and infected by Mind Flayers, things aren't very cash money right now. Still, we proceed through the ruined ship, which was apparently under siege by wyvern-riding alien warriors known as Githyanki. Soon enough, we meet one of their ilk.

Some funky mind-worm parasite wi-fi connects our brains briefly and we surmise that neither of us are thralls of the Mind Flayers. We agree to a partial truce and soon enough battle ensues with some imps nearby.

This is more like it. The Champion has an axe but who cares about that when you have a 95% chance of hurling your enemy like a rag doll straight onto another unfortunate soul. The Champion quite literally mops the floor with all these losers and quickly moves on.

I like to imagine he punches the unfamiliar device as a general response to what he doesn't understand. As usual, this triggers an encounter.

That was easy.

Here's a fun fact, I never knew you could try to jimmy Shadowheart's pod open.

Well, more than jimmy. This is a full on James-Johnsoning of it open through brute force alone. We're not really able to do it on this interaction but another one lets us roll a strength check.

Bugger.

Well. I say we leave this woman behind, seeing as all worthwhile options are exhausted. Goodbye, Shadowheart.

Gots me shit to do, sorry.

My man's so large the camera can't keep him in frame, it's great.

So this dude thinks we're his mind thralls because well, why wouldn't we be? He put a worm in our skulls. We're going to pretend for now. They're in a fight but it's really boring and I just throw imps around again until we reach the nerve machine that will take us out of Brazil.

As the psionic wormhole takes us from this blasted realm into another, The Champion is knocked free from the ship, falls five straight kilometers and survives, as he would.

Overall I'd say a nice prologue to the story of The Champion's chronicles in the Forgotten Realms of Baldur's Gate III. Tune in next time to find out if Shadowheart survived, if she's still mad at me, and how hard I have to punch her so that is no longer so.

[taiblogcomics]

Not-So-Great Briton

Hey there, Mayan Hill Farms. You know, I think one of the worst things about this being an 18 issue series is that 18 doesn't divide up so much. Like, a 12 issue series, being a quarter of the way through and a third of the way through are right next to each other! Like, what are we on, 5 out of 18 today? That's not anything! What's 18 divisible by, 1, 2, 3, 6, 9, and 18? That's terrible. Anyways, let's hope this is the largest complaint I have this week~

Here's the cover:

Hey, who do you think our focal point character is going to be this issue? Is it Kid Briton? I bet it's probably going to be Kid Briton. I mean, I guess it's kind of a cool poster look, but like... It's trying to sell you on this new character. "Come read about my OC!" Is this enticing? Will it get you to pick up issue 5 of this ongoing series? I dunno, man. I also just think his chinstrap-earmuffs style of costume is dumb-looking. Sword's pretty cool, though~

Addendum: Apparently it's also an A Clockwork Orange reference, so sue me for not recognising that. I don't think that makes it better, though. Like, the Battle Royale cover was cute, I got that one. Is A Clockwork Orange even a teenage murder movie? But, like, homaging all these movie posters just says to me that they don't have any unique ideas to sell you on their own premise. They have to copy something else you recognise to draw your attention.

Anyway, last time on Child Murder Island, Arcade kidnapped a bunch of teens and Darkhawk and told them to Hunger Games. It's been, like, eight days, and food's running out. Our Runaways reps attempt to make an alliance, but someone roasts Reptil in the woods, and Chase takes the blame, ruining the mood and the issue. While moping, Chase also finds Darkhawk's magic doodad out in the woods, thus making him the new bearer of the Darkhawk powers. And given the way these issues have gone, I bet we won't see any of that in today's kindling!

So we open with who else but Kid Briton. He's monologuing to himself, which seems to be a common pasttime on Child Murder Island, I've noticed. Kid Briton's having the very pleasant thoughts of how he's so cool and invincible, and how it'd be easy to murder Cullen Bloodstone and Anachronism right now while they slept, save everyone some trouble later. How pleasant that this is our focal character. But he decides not to, because it'd make Apex unhappy. And an unhappy Apex is an unhappy Kid Briton. So at least there's that much hope.

We dip into a flashback, and I just wanna have it known up front that I know remarkably little about Captain Britain. Gonna save some trouble and refer to Kid Briton by his name, Brian. Anyway, he's in Captain Britain's office at Braddock Academy, getting a lecture about how he's not applying himself or something. "You could be the best and brightest, but you're just the school bully." And Brian's response is that being a cocky little shit is how he keeps going, because his powers depend on self-confidence. I guess the response would be that you can be confident without being a cock, but Captain Britain instead chooses to dismiss him and go punch a dragon.

Morning comes on Child Murder Island with Arcade finally showing up in his damn plot for the first time since issue 1. He wakes up everybody by appearing in the sky and singing "The Candy Man" from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Maybe the boat scene song would have been more appropriate. Anyways, he's bored. Boy, I hate agreeing with him, but I am too. So he's decided to mix things up. He's putting four safe zone out, one per quadrant, and one of them has supplies. He even tells them that it's in safe zone 2. But it'll be first come first served, so get to it, kids.

The Braddock pack decide to set out, but are delayed because the earthquakes accompanying Arcade's "I've come to make an announcement!" shifted the place around, and Anachronism can't find his axe with both hands and a flashlight. Kid Briton suggests he leave it, coz it's not like he has the guts to use it. Cullen Bloodstone finds the axe at this point, and throws it directly at Kid Briton's face. Anachronism sticks out his hand and catches it an inch from striking him. Kid Briton then punches Cullen for doing that. So everyone's an asshole today, huh?

To emphasise this, we get another flashback to Kid Briton at the academy. You know he's a douche because he goes around in his super-suit in a casual setting. First he's making out with Apex, telling her she's the only one he's into. He then goes down the hall and makes out with Nara. And along the way, he sees a fat nerd stereotype, who's using a laptop to play a game, and cuts his laptop in half. Few minutes later, same nerd kid walks in on the makeout accidentally, and Kid Briton beats the shit out of him so he won't tell. I think someone just jumped to the bottom of my list of characters I want to see get out of this~

Back in the present, the earthquakes also caused an avalanche in the snow area, and Cammi got buried. However, Nico and Chase happened to be nearby to pull her out. She proposes an alliance, since they've already taken out Mettle, Red Raven, the Sentinel, and Darkhawk. And the last two of those are serious customers! All she's got is survival skills and a raygun. So since Darkhawk never turned up for their meeting, she offers to stick with them, while Chase tries not to look very suspicious about having found Darkhawk's power amulet. I sure hope that won't lead to drama later!

At the same time, the Braddock Pack are crossing some sort of stone bridge, and Cullen wonders if this is real or they're all hooked up in a Matrix VR setup. Anachronism replies that, if they die in a video game or real life, they're dead either way, so who cares. That's a fair point, honestly. The rest of the group yells at them to hurry up, and the lads comment that they hate them. What a coincidence, I hate them too. Then the bridge collapses under them for no reason, and they fall in the river.

None of the rest of the Braddock pack rushes to help them, and when Cullen and Anachronism manage to struggle to shore, Kid Briton justifies himself with "See, they made it, they're fine". Wow, I might almost hate this character more than the actual villain of the piece. Anyway, as he and Nara--who is an Atlantean, by the way, she could dive in no problem--just smugly watch them across the shore, Deathlocket's expression goes blank. She steps backwards, aims her gun, and shoots Nara point-blank, blasting her off the cliff, to Kid Briton's horror.

At the same moment, we cut over to X-23 and Hazmat hauling Reptil up a hill on a makeshift stretcher. After a bit, he suddenly stirs and resumes consciousness, and the girls check on him. They tell him they kicked the Runaways out after what they pulled, and Reptil tells them that Chase isn't the one who blasted him. It was Deathlocket. Deathlocket has been the one stalking these camps the whole time. And Deathlocket is one I would believe totally has the strength to fold the Sentinel in half and throw it over the treeline.

Naturally, Kid Briton is about to flip out on Deathlocket, who has resumed consciousness and has no idea why she did what she did. Before there can be a fight, though, Apex steps in. She reasons out that Nara fell in the river, she'll be fine. And she's kind of a petty asshole anyway, so they're better off without the dead weight. When Kid Briton tries to protest, Apex reveals that she knew all along that Kid Briton was cheating on her, and she put up with it at the academy. But now they're out for survival, and she wants to win. So she heads off, and Kid Briton and Deathlocket don't really know what else to do but follow.

Oh boy, this is definitely an issue I didn’t like. Could you tell~? Kid Briton is thoroughly unpleasant, and I didn’t enjoy having him as our focus character. That’s really the majority complaint! This character is unlikeable, and we were saddled with him the majority of the issue. The parts without him were fine, honestly. Way to endear us to your new OC you invented for this story and hoped would get a spinoff~

[autisticunibot]

A leader should treat their followers like tools. The better you take care of and hone your tools, the better they will serve you. A follower who is accommodated and cares for should follow their leader blindly anywhere.

This is the mentality of the Blood Thief (yes im changing his name now. He got the thief part because he steals magical knowledge from anywhere, as well as money from piglike greedy nobles) when he finds he has a cult (they all gather to greet him during his next slums visit) Since nobody has actually met the Blood Thief (and survived), he comes up with a plan for two reasons:

1. He respects their dedication to him.

2. He sees how useful they will be to him.

The following is small, only about 12 people. He decides to approach them as a masked figure claiming to be the spokesman of the Blood Thief. He convinces them by showing his own magic and claiming it was bestowed by the Blood Thief. This makes them believe him. Now he has his cult. Only one of them is worth mentioning. A powerhouse bull-kin (think beast-people) named Mino(minotaur, they wield a battle axe). Mino, like the other 11 followers, had their lands returned to them by the Blood Thief after a raid on the local lord. The Blood Thief returns land deeds since he has a very slight robin hood complex (it’s why he targets nobles). They all decided to sell their lands and use the money to dedicate themselves to the Blood Thief.

The Blood Thief appoints Mino as the second third in command (third since he’s technically the second in command, since they don’t know the spokesperson is actually the Blood Thief), and grants her a crest on her right shoulder. It looms like a modern day tattoo, but glows blood-red when mana is run through it. It cannot be replicated because the ink formula that allows mana to run through it was made by the Blood Thief. The rest of the followers are given non-glowing axe-head crests on their shoulders. Everyone is then sent to collect information on magical knowledge and corrupt nobles.

They work in secret, and hold weekly secret meetings. The Blood Thief is careful to only appear as the spokesperson unless raiding (which he does alone). However, eventually magical knights bust into one of their meetings and capture them all (the Blood Thief is determined to maintain his cover unless absolutely necessary). They ask which one is in charge, but no one responds, because they all believe in camaraderie. When one of the followers is threatened with death, Mino interferes, and claims that even if her head is cut off, the Blood Thief will deliver retribution eventually. Just before she is decapitated, the Blood Thief reveals himself and compliments her saying he couldn’t have said it better himself. He then imbues her and all the other followers with great power, allowing them to kill or capture (3 of them) the knights. The prisoners, including the captain who was going to kill Mino are to be sacrificed to the Blood Thief, who now sits upon the throne they built for him, in the first ever Blood Ritual. The captain pleads claiming the Blood Thief has never killed before. The Blood Thief says “to be killed by our hand is a fate reserved for those who rise against us”. They are then ripped apart and dissolved into pure mana which the Blood Thief absorbs. The whole spectacle takes place in the middle of the slums for all to see, and they cheer. They all then pledge themselves to the Blood Thief and THEN give him the name Blood Mage.

The people of the slums now all call themselves Bloodkin. They follow the original 12 Bloodkin and serve the Blood Mage. While their houses may appear shambled and ruined, they all live deep underground, and work together (with no currency) to train in magic and combat. They believe one day the Blood Mage will challenge the crown, and want to be ready. Under the exercise routines of Mino, and the magical guidance of the Blood Mage, they all turn into the equivalent of super soldiers. They number 73 (most of the residents of the slums die). The entire underground cave system they have dug out is very complex, and similar to an ant hill tunnel system. They grow their own food, fertilized by a (Blood Mage original) magical solution to greatly accelerate growth. They work to expand their caverns and research magic. Slums spies also search for rotten nobility, as well as Magical Knights who are searching for the Bloodkin (these knights work great as test targets for the Blood Mage). There are now three main groups of Bloodkin:

1. Minotaurs: Shock troops who displayed incredible physical prowess and magical abilities. They serve as the main fighters. Their crest is an axe head.

2. Sorcerers: Researchers who dedicate themselves to discovering new magic. They are better than the Minotaurs at spellcasting, but are usually very physically weak. Their crest is a 4 pointed star.

3. Caretakers: The backbone of the Bloodkin, they are the miners, farmers, and spies of the organization. They gather intelligence, grow food, and create new tunnels and rooms. While they may do the most basic jobs, they are held in the highest regard. Their crest is a drop of blood. Most Bloodkin are Caretakers.

My brain is brimming with unformed ideas, but i must sleep, and my phone must charge. Until later.

In an attempt to start getting over my Trust Issues, I’m going to start writing even more of my ideas down in here.

[seyenna]

Philza and/or Techno and/or Ranboo fic recs

just some of my fav dsmp fics, mainly phil, techno or ranboo bc i’m biased but also a bunch of sbi and others

this one goes out mainly to zablr discord my beloved

pls tell me if the links don’t work

all of these are on ao3

rating\status(complete/ongoing)\warnings\word count\misc tags

ichor flows free amongst the iron by summer_rising

T\o\violence\13k\series\gods AU

Summary:

A gods and goddesses AU of the Dream SMP, dramatized for all our benefits.

First work:

  "Two gods meeting on a mountaintop overlooking the stormy sea? Very classy, Dream, I appreciate your taste."

  Dream didn't turn to look at him, but the faint shake of his shoulders let Techno know he had heard.

  "Scar's healing up nicely, I see," Techno mumbled with a light nod of his head.

  "Mhm. Cut nice and clean. Not that I expected any less from you, of course."

   ~~

   The god of power and the god of luck meet on a mountaintop to discuss Luck's standing in the ongoing political disaster.

We're Only Young by ImperialKatwala

G\o\-\66k\series\Dream & Technoblade

It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.

And when the sun comes up, you'll find a brand new god. by SkyboxZoo

M\o\violence\19k\gods AU

Summary:

The wounds from the fight had healed nigh instantly, but the golden blood still soaked Techno’s shirt. His cloak had gotten torn off and his hair had fallen out of its pony-tail. Ichor pooled in his boots. The man left a trail of golden, bloody footprints in his wake.

old gods (new gods) by WriterWinged

T\o\-\9k\series\gods AU

Summary of first work:

Survival, Blood, Madness. Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot. Three gods who have never cared for mortal life, who play with them when they want to, who kill their toys just as easily. How, then, did a mortal end up in their hands?

This House Is A Fucking Nightmare by SilverWing15

T\c\-\17k\series\sbi

Summary:

AU Where Phil isn't quite as willing to stand by while his sons drop like flies

Summary of third part (my fav):

Does lingering too long in the shadow of a god make you a god? The voices in his head seem to think so.

His brothers know he's older than them but they don't know how much

OR: Technoblade doesn't think his brothers realize how different they are from ordinary men. After all, ordinary men may fight the gods, but they don't win.

It's been a long day. by BecausePlot

G\c\-\3k\Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

Sides are bad: he knows that much. He’s seen it tear people apart time and time again, so when he decided to separate himself from Tubbo and keep his distance, he knew he was in the right.

Well. He thought he was in the right, at the time. Sitting all by himself on the steps to the Prime Path, he’s not so sure anymore.

Yes, the sides might have torn the others apart, might have made them so weak that they have no choice but to fold under Dream’s hand, but at least they aren’t lonely.

So are sides bad?

‘I don’t know.’

~*~

Or, Ranboo looks out at the ruins of L'Manburg, feeling more lost and lonely than he ever has.

But, as he soon finds, he's not as alone as he thinks.

the voices in my head, they say a lot of things by rosyasteria

-\c\violence\1k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

Some days the voices didn’t listen. They didn’t let up. They screamed instead of whispered, relentless, assaulting his ears until they bled.

tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold by rosyasteria

-\c\-\2k\Techonblade-centric

Summary:        

Technoblade cared. But in the end it just fucked him over.

For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'.

It Leaves Little Time for Anything Else by mirandible

M\c\-\1k\part of series\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

   A young man aims for the top, but fate has other plans for him. So does Technoblade, apparently.

   (Or: answering the question of “Why does Techno hide his scars if they’re supposed to be some sort of trophy? Why keep your point of pride a secret?”)

the best requiem is a bar of silence (and I'll sing it, even if I must hold back my tears) by jello12451

T\o\-\10k\Philza & Technoblade

Summary:

   He can’t help the noise of celebration that escapes him. Techno- this means that Techno’s free, and he got his horse back, and everything is alright-

  Tubbo, filled with rage at Phil’s cheers, turns and impulsively shoots an arrow.

   He doesn’t expect to hit his target.

---

  Alternatively: What if Phil didn't have a bucket of water when Tubbo shot him?

Change fate by being aggressively kind by sircantus

T\o\-\13k\sbi, Philza-centric

Summary:

   “You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings.

   “He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at.

   “He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!”

   “Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.”

   ---

   Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children.

   Phil has a different plan.

   (In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world)

I promised you that everything would be fine by findingkairos

G\c\-\6k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

   manifestation: (n.)

1.     an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something abstract or theoretical;

2.     a version or incarnation of something or someone;

3.     an appearance of a ghost or spirit;

4.     the Blood God.

When he's young and still alone, still establishing his reputation as the immortal warrior, Technoblade makes up an imaginary friend.

Years later, the blood god is very real and very much a god: one that is prepared to do anything for their first and only friend.

the inner mechanism of a black box by Bee_4

T\c\violence, self-harm\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

   Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault.

   There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.

carry all my sins by BananasofThorns

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo-centric

Summary:

Ranboo swallows. “All my armor and weapons and stuff are missing. Fundy and I were gonna go looking for them after the festival, I think.”

“I see.” Tubbo smiles again, but this time it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s just a festival. We could probably find someone to lend you a sword or an axe or something.”

He starts towards the stage, waving at people when they call his name, and Ranboo follows. The original panic has dulled to a cold buzz in his chest, but apprehension still wraps itself around his body like chains. He doesn’t like being without his armor and tools; he feels too exposed, and if something happens, he’ll be helpless.

“Ranboo?” Tubbo calls, glancing back.

Ranboo shakes his head and hurries to catch up. “Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats. “Everything’s gonna be fine."

Tubbo grins. “That’s the spirit.”

Rule 5: be loyal. L'manberg doesn't do well with supposed traitors. Ranboo deals with the consequences.

Sojourn by Lacy_Star

T\o\-\13k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

“Well…” Ranboo started slowly, “You see, uh… I kinda… don’t have a house anymore, obviously. Um… Phil found me in—“ He paused, cutting himself off and squinting at the floorboards— very discreet, “Phil… found me. And… um… He said I could stay by you guys. Like, um, by the dog house he wants to build?” He paused, then began to ramble, “But, uh, if you don’t want me here, I understand— and I’m sorry for coming in your house when you weren’t here, I swear I didn’t touch anything— it was just cold outside and—“

Techno just stared at him. And how, how was this the second time this had happened to him? How was this the second time he returned home after battle to discover an injured teenage boy waiting for him, seeking assistance with nowhere to go? And how badly had that ended last time, in nothing but betrayal and insults?

---

AKA: Phil drags a half-enderman home after Doomsday, and Techno decides that they can keep it. For now.

can an axe count as rent? by aboutfivebees

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

Ranboo’s struggling to settle into his new life on the Arctic Anarchist Commune, but at least he’s got bread.

or the struggles of an enderman hybrid to come up with a housewarming gift to give to his friends, who are just trying to adopt him

The Caged Bird Sings of Freedom by StarPrince_Punk

T\o\-\25k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

The Blade's stance was still tense, his body prepared to fight at a moment’s notice if need be. “What’s your name?” Phil asked “My… name?” The Blade asked. “Yeah. Your name isn’t actually The Blade, right? That’s like a stage name?” Phil tried to keep his tone light. “What’s your real name?” The Blade hesitated. “No one… No one’s called me by my name in a long time.” ------- When Phil comes across Ranboo in his panic room after L'Manberg's destruction, it reminds him of when he first met Technoblade. And just like when he met Techno, Phil's first instinct is that he has to help this kid. While living together, Techno and Ranboo learn that they're much more similar than they had previously thought, and Phil learns that it's not too late for him to be a better dad.

This already feels like more of a home by H3118ENDER

T\o\violence, death\18k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

As the ashes of L'Manberg settle the conflict continues to come to life setting the stage for a new wave of blood shed. Stuck slam in the middle of past and present friends Ranboo is coming to learn that even without nations to their names feelings and feuds don't die but people, people do.

A Shadow of a Shadow by unappetizingegg

T\c\-\4k\ Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

There were a few beats of silence, and then- “What are your plans, now? Do you need a place to stay?”

That caught him off guard. Surely he’d heard incorrectly. Phil was offering him a home, right after he’d orchestrated the destruction of his past one? It didn’t make any sense, none of it did. Why would Phil say that?

Then he remembered, he remembered Techno stopping him in the fight. He remembered being handed his book, the question in Techno’s gaze. He swore, in that moment, Technoblade, the Technoblade, had been worried about him. He remembered that he had been told to leave, to run, to get away and preserve himself. He had spared him, he remembered that Techno had spared him.

Techno had helped him. Phil had tried to protect him, to get him away from the danger.

They were there for him.

 ---

alternatively:

Ranboo is alone. But he really isn't.

Meritocracy by oddsbodkins

G\o\-\18k\Dream & Technoblade, sbi, medieval AU

Summary:

Dream is more successful than he'd ever imagined - but there's one thing that's been bothering him. Technoblade, his biggest rival, the Acolyte of the Blood God and King of the Arena, went missing last spring, just before Dream got the chance to duel him. Without that one achievement to pave his way, all the following victories have felt cheap.

So, Dream hired some goons to dig Technoblade up and pester him into coming back to the Capitol, for one last showdown. Easy enough, right?

Interlude I: "Promises to Keep" by Ozzyyy

T\c\-\1k\part of a series\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

These woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep.

--

Techno has a plan. It's crazy. It's insane, it's actually just batshit bonkers. But if chaos cannot be enjoyed together, then what's it worth, yeah? There's a certain beauty in watching the world burn from the center of the flames. Phil intends to be there.

I Don't Want To Start A Fight (wouldn't you rather start a riot?) by KryOnBlock

T\c\violence, death\15k\Technoblade & Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

An universal ping rang out from behind him, the third and final he knew, and Phil sobbed, clutching the body tighter.

Techno didn’t move.

It always has been Technoblade and Philza, Philza and Technoblade. Take on half, and you shall never go back.

Sheltered by Lulatic

G\c\-\6k\Ranboo & Technoblade

Summary:

It was cold outside. But Techno never heard Ranboo complain.

That was the best excuse he could muster to keep him out.

Antarctic Princes 'verse by BirchWrites

T\o\-\15k\series\sbi

Summary:

Loosely-connected one shots set in an AU where the Antarctic Empire and the Dream SMP are in the same world. Ordered chronologically, but each fic can be read as a standalone thing

Summary of first part:

Oh shit. Forget arrested; Dream’s going to have to tell Wilbur that he watched Tommy get stabbed for being terminally stupid.

May we cross paths again by QueenLunaFreed

G\c\-\1k\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

“Even if tomorrow it’s just us versus the entire server, Dream, I’m telling you right now - I have confidence.”

---

Dream couldn’t comprehend the pacing contradiction in front of him, the weakness he could clearly see, but would never comment on. Because this man has been defying Dream's expectations since they first met, because despite them not being friends and having no reason to trust each other, Dream knew that Technoblade is the only person who he’d trust to do this right. To destroy L'Manberg alongside him yet again, this time for real.

leave me your starlight by findingkairos

T\o\-\18k\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

For you the world, Phil.

Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war.

This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.

 ---

(Featuring: Back to Back Badasses, healthy relationships, accidental deification, intentional world domination, and Phil's past coming back to haunt his best friend.)

[calyssmarviss]

WHEEL OF TIME 01x01. - Leavetaking

SPOILER-ish live reaction

(Aka I’ve read the entire series and i don’t even know what counts as spoilers anymore.)

- Moiraine in pants <3

- A boy or a girl. No. But if you want… i guess.

- Dark Friend Alert!

- WE CANT SEE THE WEAVES. That’s good. Means it depends on PoV and we can still have our weirdass standing still one power battles <3

- LAN

- Rumors of 4 ta’veren? What. 1 how are there rumors already and 2 kay guess that’s Egwene. Not a big fan of that. I mean, i personally think she’s got moments of ta’veren-ness but she’s not It, ya know. Not in the utterly weird-ass way the boys are.

- “The Old Blood runs deep in this mountains.”

- HOLY FJUCKING SHIT ARE THOSE AGE OF LEGENDS RUINS

- title card

- WOMAN CIRCLE BUSINESS - men stfu

- might as well throw the whole girl out

- COPLINS AND CONGARS

- why am i so happy about hearing the local trash people family names why

- MAT MY BELOVED

- and look Perrin’s there too

- Who’s that chick

- NO LUCK YET BUDDY

- Oh no. I’m having rat feels. Why am like like this it’s just shoulder touches and i know better (like, literally, there is nothing there. Oh my god if they show us the Road to Caemlyn I’m going to die).

- OH SHIT PERRIN IS MARRIED I KNEW THAT HOW DID I KNEW THAT WAS IT A CASTING THING

- WHY ISN’T BRAN FAT

- I DONT TRUST HIM NOW

- So dramatic Lan

- Oh and here’s the wife. Nice meeting you girl. Too bad you’re about to get fridged.

- AND YOUR UNBORN CHILD WITH YA

- OH HERE WE GO, DOING THE CAUTHONS DIRTY

- My man Abel would never

- Natti wtf. Speak better to your son.

- Josha is baby. That’s all.

- Oooooooh. Kissing without waiting for marriage. How scandalous Randall.

- Okay, now that is scandalous.

- And THAT

- MOIRAINE AND LAN ARE BATHING TOGETHER AND IT’S ENTIRELY PLATONIC I LOVE THIS SONG

- which one - cut to Egg. lol

- lol what since when can’t Wisdoms marry

- Are we in a western

- There was music that sounded kinda country earlier and now the whistling over the myyrdraal

- MATRIM

- you’re a thief now???

- and makin deals with Fain. Yikes.

- Oh Rand honey. *pat pat* have I got news for you about your future.

- WTF are you talking about Moiraine of course Nynaeve is from there

- Wait is that really a thing now

- I love how Barney talks <3 gonna miss him when he’s gone (still don’t know why he’s gone btw if someone has the beans, spill them to me)

- Geez that’s a loud wind... which actually makes me think about Machin Shin, which is funny given that the Trollocks are coming through waygate.

- *wheezes* an animal carcass dragon fang aka Darkspawn art installation. How very GoT 01x01 How very ~ every media outlet out there ~ of me to make that comparison.

- oh to hear Rand al’Thor title drop

- oh to hear Tam al’Thor say to Lews Therin Telamon to do better than the last time

- Are you mayhaps feeling an affinity with this woman Egwene?

- THIS IS A WESTERN

- HERE THEY COME

- me, right in the middle of the trolloc attack: two rivers wool must be so warm, look at all those people wandering around barely clothed when winter is lingering

- istg if mat’s sisters die…

- istg if that was cenn buie dying… jk don’t care

- bella?

- narg?

- hello blade master daddy

I would like to take that last one back

- not narg :( this one wasn’t smart

- WEAVES

- Because of the girls pov or Moiraine’s?

- Oh no that’s totally the girl’s

- Ahah two rivers folks

- PERRIN WITH AN AXE

- Interesting channeling representation with the interlocking weaves in the middle and the ones on the side. Shows it’s got some technicality to it if you catch my drift. Like, weaving in a certain way gives you different results…

- Oh shit

- Hooooly shit didn’t expect that to happen like that

- Damn

- That’s really not gonna be good for Perrin’s psyche

- MOIRAINE YOU DUMBASS NEVER PULL THE BLADE OUT UNTIL YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO HEAL YOU THATS WHY YOURE NOT A YELLOW OH MY GOD

- Light, or your angreal

- Channeling earth. I think? Or maybe air if it’s a pressure thing.

- No delirious night in the woods :(

- Yeah where is Nynaeve

- gone where i think i missed something

- No kisses for Mat i see. Show!Natti sucks

- Aaaaaaand Tam is just fine

- Eyes so white lmao what.

- “Glimpses of the turning of the wheel” it’s fine you can say “glimpses of the pattern” girl

- Right out of the bat she drops the D word

- Asdfghjkl this was so coincidental that they happened to be all 4 right around her as she made her little speech you go Pattern i guess but i would have laughed at her i mean the guys didn’t even see the Myyrdraals they haven’t been singled out at all during all this why would they believe her is that compulsion

- Wait they’re seriously going

- Just like that

- Where is even Thom

- Where is the Manetheren speech 😭

- Yeah i guess it was A Beginning

Asdfghjkl i don’t even know what to think about all this.

[badass-at-fandoming]

Just Little Ventrue Things ~

I finished a Camarilla Ventrue run of VTMB. Mostly, the only thing Ventrue these days know how to do is Dominate, run screaming, eat hot chip, and lie, and [high falsetto voice] here’s a list of other nonsense I discovered:

PC’s name is Christina; she’s a Dominatrix because I’m bi. Her sire was one of her clients, and she’s actually very, very angry about his death. She doesn’t mind being a vampire. She’s Wiccan and part of a coven

In this Camarilla run, I decided I would only do quests given by Camarilla members. My justification was that, while Christina is intelligent and curious about lore, she focuses on tasks that immediately relate to her and her goals. She’s not curious about others; won’t go out of her way to talk to them. She’s not a bleeding heart, like my other PCs, and she believes in the Camarilla’s laws. She just hates LaCroix for killing her sire. Her plan during the game is to curry as much favor within the Cam as possible and cozy up to LaCroix so she can stab him.

Enough backstory

Nonsense time

Smiling Jack laughs at you if you don’t eat a rat in the tutorial. LOL. The Ventrue dialog is like “I could barely choke down the homeless man: please don’t make me eat a rat!”

The blood in the Santa Monica haven’s fridge is now blue blood. Does regular blood make Ventrue sick? I was too scared to experiment.

[spots Mercurio] I am going to steal that ghoul

Rosa: The people you’re looking for are up there. Christina, assuming Rosa is a Cam agent: Okay, thanks, bye

Never spoke to the Thin-Bloods again (sorry Lily baby ;-;)

Everyone except Julius still leaves when the PC reaches Hollywood

If you try to feed on Julius, he WILL kick you in the head and you WILL glitch into the fire, be on fire; run away screaming in Prada

You can skip the whole basement of the Ocean House Hotel if you manage to jump over the hole in the staircase???? Like?? You mean the spookiest fucking level has been optional this whole time I”M

[ghost appears] [Christina smacks it with an axe] None of that.

Club girls speak to Christina and I’m on the FLOOR

Therese “kills” Jeanette, even though I had enough oompa to make that not happen.

Therese joins the Camarilla and says she’s in good position to be the next Prince??? Hello??? Where is our Prince Voerman ending????

Went straight to LaCroix, called him “sir,” and he name-dropped Napoleon.

LaCroix tells Christina to go visit the Anarchs. She blows the Anarchs off (Nines made a growly face, Damsel dialog yowl-exited out after I asked if she wanted to join the Cam; Skelter threatened to murder me twice). When LaCroix told Christina that, while he admired her Cam loyalty, she must listen to her enemies to understand what they wanted, it felt like he was actually being a good sire and mentor.

That’s weird.

When Christina asked for his history, he very carefully explained his lineage, like the important part of Ventrue culture it is.

Overall, I found LaCroix-being-nice-to-me extremely unsettling.

Sir. Stop smiling at me, sir. Stop being impressed I don’t ask for money. STOP MAKING ME UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE LIKE YOU, SIR.

In contrast, LaCroix sounded genuinely betrayed at the end

Also made it more obvious when he started to lose track of his marbles

Ventrue PC seems juuuuuuust tall enough for her forehead to glitch into the ceiling of literally any confined space

The dirty Elizabeth Dane policeman didn’t psspspspsp at Christina so the whole ship was 15 white-knuckled minutes of making police dance and scuttling about

There is!!! A lot less!!! Talking in this game!!! Than I remember!!! She is only good at talking and ordering people around i am bEGGING

All EXP goes to Dominate and making Christina extremely charismatic and buff.

Ventrue himbo????

Beckett un-himbo-ifies her

She insults Beckett on their first meeting, spitting out “What do you want, wolfie?!” I thought this was appropriate because she died like, 4 times on that warehouse mission and was Extremely Stressed And Under Duress

Beckett’s response of “Oh, you’re too young to have mouthed off to the truly old ones yet.” makes his later snide remark of “the young ones are so temperamental” 900% funnier. Yeah, LaCroix! Beckett thinks I’ve grown and am now more mature than you! XD

Missions involving sex workers hit different when you’re a sex worker.

Christina was incandescent with rage at the Brotherhood

Grout’s mansion mission was a lot of “I have no interest in this nonsense.”

For the first time ever, I didn’t kill anyone during the Museum quest! This is because Christina ran very fast and Dominated every guard as quickly as possible. Every single fucking guard knew she was there, but could do nothing about it, because they were dancing. The door to the sarcophagus locked (it will do this if too many guards are agro), but locked doors are no match for noclip hack.

Entertaining image of a tall woman absolutely blasting into this museum room and Beckett tackling her to the floor like wait! I must snark at you! You are legally obligated to speak with me!

Isaac is still somehow a pretty chill guy to work with if you’re Camarilla.

Christina didn’t visit VV or Ash. Interestingly, Ash didn’t show up at the hunter monastery later. Did he just die in his club? Is he still there, waiting, deciding?

Christina @ Andrei: what the fuck is this shit

“I don’t care. It’s ugly. Clean it up.”

SEWERS.

Not as bad as I was expecting

Did take shortcut, run away from fights, ducked out in the middle for a snack, and bring 7 blue blood packs tho

Gary threatened to shred her face with a cheese grater, which I thought was Toreador only dialog?? It must be connected to the Appearance Stat. Which Christina has maxed out.

When Heather became Christina’s ghoul, I was delighted because I thought this meant Christina would always have fresh blood.

No

If you ask to feed on her too soon after the last time, Heather says she feels light headed and wants to lie down. The dialog exits out

I love you, Heather bb

Perfected the art of nudging NPCs into corners

Mitnick’s quests now feature Enforced Nap Time for all guards

Seriously, Dominate is ridiculously powerful, hooooly shit. I get why people like it. I also like it when people do things I ask them to do.

Christina can’t sneak, but she CAN strongly encourage everyone to choke on their own tongues.

Very high contrast in the beginning of the game: 2 punches would knock her over, but anyone she spoke to would obey immediately and without question

Chinatown goes by ridiculously fast if you can’t sneak and don’t do any sidequests besides Mitnick’s.

For the first time ever, Zhao survived! This is because Christina made him take a nap.

He just told her to leave

You’re welcome, my good dude

IDK if it’s a game glitch, but Christina would vocalize? In battle, she grunts with effort and pain.

Got to the point where I kept expecting Dominate dialog in every interaction and would get disappointed if it didn’t show up. What do you mean I have to actually convince people? That’s lame.

Christina was polite and charming to Ming Xiao, who also conveyed a deeper betrayal than normal at the end. ;-;

I promise to give you a Ventrue boy toy soon, Xiao

Finale arc quests went by VERY FAST because Christina can’t sneak for shit. Just run in, Dominate blazing

You can skip the outside bit of the Hallowbrook Hotel if you find the open door on the top level what the fuuuuuuuuuCK

[“A Little Party Never Killed Nobody” plays while Christina wipes out the Sabbat in 10 minutes]

Andrei disappeared mid-fight and didn’t come back until I complained that only I was allowed to run away from boss fights

I’m categorizing “triggering the interaction to save Heather” as something quite difficult to do. The timing has to be just right. I’ve missed it twice now. BUT hacking into the game to save her is easy.

I love you, Heather bb

Final Beckett talk had the vibe of “You’re a very different person than me, but you’re also High Humanity and trying to do good. You don’t deserve to die.”

Damsel threatens to kick the shit out of Christina and is extremely reluctant to tell her where Nines is

“Out of all people, they send you? All right, let’s just talk terms.” - Nines because Christina was short with him one (1) time

WEREWOLF HARD

You can just?? Walk out of your haven?? Without speaking to Jack at all???

I didn’t do that

But I could have

[”Dust in the Wind” plays while Christina kills entire Camarilla hit squad in 3 minutes]

You can visit Mercurio and Trip on your way out of Santa Monica??

Mercurio makes no comment on the blood hunt. Business as usual with him. This is fine.

Christina: I’m SO going to adopt that ghoul. And perhaps Isaac can be convinced to part with Romero...

(For the first time ever, my PC boinked Romero. Twice, to receive the break up email)

This is definitely a glitch, but Christina brushed up against Caine, and a worried voice said, “Are you all right?” It sounded like the same voice actor, but a higher pitch?

Always nice to think about Caine demonstrating care

Christina asked Caine who he is, and Caine replied that he “gets people where they’re going. [He’s] a driver,”  which is a nice nod (lol) to both his literal job as a driver and as a shepherd/creator/god to Kindred. Caine creates and makes fate.

Caine triple checks with Christina that she’s sure Strauss won’t betray her. Thanks, Vampire Dad. :’D

For some reason, only other Ventrue guarded LaCroix’s tower. I wonder if this is intentional. Like all the other Camarilla Clans backed Strauss and left? So only LaCroix’s Ventrue lackeys remain? Anyway, it created some weird moments where Christina fought her double.

KILL YOUR DOUBLE

Sheriff laughed in haughty joy that he was to kill Christina. I don’t remember him laughing in other playthroughs.

Christina ruining Caine and Jack’s prank oh noes

[genshin-impact-updates]

Version 2.0 "The Immovable God and the Eternal Euthymia" Update Details(Part 2)

For Part 1, Click Here

V. New Quests

1. New Archon Quests

Archon Quest "Chapter II: Act I - The Immovable God and the Eternal Euthymia"

Archon Quest "Chapter II: Act II - "Stillness, the Sublimation of Shadow"

◇ Beidou's Crux Fleet is almost done with their supply and preparation work in Liyue. As promised, the fleet is ready to take you through the thunderstorms to Inazuma.

The Traveler never stops for long. Now is as good a time as any to embrace destiny and set sail for the land engulfed by storm and tempest... The nation of "eternity"!

◆ Archon Quests "Chapter II: Act I - The Immovable God and the Eternal Euthymia" and "Chapter II: Act II - Stillness, the Sublimation of Shadow" will be permanently available after the Version 2.0 update.

◆ Archon Quest "Chapter II: Act I - The Immovable God and the Eternal Euthymia" Unlock Criteria:

• Adventure Rank 30 or above

• Complete the Archon Quest "Chapter II: Prologue - Autumn Winds, Scarlet Leaves"

◆ Archon Quest "Chapter II: Act II - Stillness, the Sublimation of Shadow" Unlock Criteria:

• Adventure Rank 30 or above

• Complete the Archon Quest "Chapter II: Act I - The Immovable God and the Eternal Euthymia"

• Complete the Kamisato Ayaka Story Quest "Grus Nivis Chapter: Act I - The Whispers of the Crane and the White Rabbit"

• Complete the Yoimiya Story Quest "Carassius Auratus Chapter: Act I - Dreamlike Timelessness"

After the Version 2.0 update, the Unlock Criteria for certain quests will be adjusted as follows:

● The Unlock Criteria for Archon Quest Chapter I: Act II will be adjusted to Adventure Rank 25 or above (originally Adventure Rank 29 or above)

● The Unlock Criteria for Archon Quest Chapter I: Act III will be adjusted to Adventure Rank 28 or above (originally Adventure Rank 35 or above)

● The Unlock Criteria for World Quest "Bough Keeper: Dainsleif" will be adjusted to Adventure Rank 28 or above (originally Adventure Rank 36 or above)

● The Unlock Criteria for Archon Quest Chapter I: Act IV will be adjusted to Adventure Rank 28 or above (originally Adventure Rank 36 or above)

*Of which, the level of monsters in Archon Quest Chapter I: Act II will be adjusted to Lv. 30 (originally Lv. 35). The rest of the adjustments made are adjustments to the player's Adventure Rank for the Quest Unlock Criteria, while other Unlock Criteria and quest rewards remain unchanged.

2. New Story Quests

Kamisato Ayaka's Story Quest "Grus Nivis Chapter: Act I - The Whispers of the Crane and the White Rabbit"

Yoimiya's Story Quest "Carassius Auratus Chapter: Act I - Dreamlike Timelessness"

◆ "Grus Nivis Chapter" and "Carassius Auratus Chapter" will be permanently available after the Version 2.0 update

◆ "Grus Nivis Chapter" and "Carassius Auratus Chapter" Quest Unlock Criteria:

• Adventure Rank 30 or above

• Complete the Archon Quest "Chapter II: Act I - The Immovable God and the Eternal Euthymia"

*The "Grus Nivis Chapter" and "Carassius Auratus Chapter" Story Quests will not require a Story Key to unlock.

3. New World Quests

◆ New World Quests: "The Art of Horticulture," "Sacred Sakura Cleansing Ritual," "A Strange Story in Konda," "Sacrificial Offering," "Hayashi of Tanuki in the Forest," "Cleansing Defilement," "Yougou Cleansing"

"The Farmer's Treasure," "Hiromi's Watch," "Gourmet Supremos, Assemble!," "The Gourmet Supremos: The Seashore Strider," "The Gourmet Supremos: The Deep Divers," "The Seventh Samurai," "Tatara Tales," "Sakura Arborism," "Dreams of Sword Art," "Orobashi's Legacy," "Fate of a Fighter," "Gazing Three Thousand Miles Away," "Treatment on the Island," "Sinister Instruction," "Yae Publishing House's Invitation," "Chisato's Letter," "O Archon, Have I Done Right?," "International Travel Log," "Home Lies Over the Ocean," "In Another Land," "Battle of Revenge," "The Gourmet Supremos: The Importance of Eating Well," "The Gourmet Supremos: On the Road," "Pizza From Another Land," and "The Ritou Road."

VI. New Monsters

Pyro Hypostasis

◇ Elemental creatures who protect themselves from incoming attack with their durable shell.

Has two states: Ignited and Extinguished. Extinguishing it with the right elemental reactions will give you an opportunity to strike.

Located at Kannazuka

Perpetual Mechanical Array

◇ A strange, alien machine.

They say that it is a war machine left behind by a nation that has already been destroyed. Composed of several different parts, it can adapt to its combat environment and employ a variety of attacks. It can even split and summon several different kinds of Ruin Sentinels.

Located at Narukami Island

Nobushi: Jintouban, Nobushi: Hitsukeban, Nobushi: Kikouban, Kairagi: Fiery Might, Kairagi: Dancing Thunder

◇ Samurai who have fallen into banditry.

They possess highly advanced martial art skills but use these well-honed skills for banditry, making them dangerous enemies.

Ruin Cruiser, Ruin Destroyer, Ruin Defender, Ruin Scout

◇ Various bizarrely-shaped machines that have taken different forms and functions.

Legend has it that they were war machines left behind by a nation that has now been destroyed. The design of these ruin machines has greater value in the study of biomimesis than the more common Ruin Guards.

Fatui - Mirror Maiden

◇ A Fatui mage from Snezhnaya who can command a Hydro Mirror in battle.

Willing to do anything to achieve their goals, they are the stark opposite of the dignity indicated by the title "Maiden." They definitely will not let their prey escape from the Hydro Mirror created from a Delusion.

In addition, monsters such as Electro Hilichurl Grenadier, Electro Samachurl, Crackling Axe Mitachurl, Electro Abyss Mage, Thunderhelm Lawachurl, and Electro Whopperflower have been added.

VII. Other Additions

● Gameplay

1. New Special Weapon Wish Mechanic — Epitomized Path

· Once you have charted a course towards your chosen weapon, you will obtain 1 Fate Point upon receiving a 5-star weapon that is not the one that you chose. You can obtain a maximum of 2 Fate Points.

· Once you have accumulated enough Fate Points, your next 5-star weapon will be the one you chose through "Epitomized Path."

· Your Fate Points will be reset upon obtaining an "Epitomized Path" weapon during this "Epitome Invocation."

· If you do not choose a weapon, wishes will not accumulate Fate Points.

· You can change or cancel your selection. This will reset your accumulated Fate Points.

· When this "Epitome Invocation" ends, your accumulated Fate Points will also be reset.

2. Adventurer Handbook - The Commission Quests: Region Selection feature has been added for commissions

3. New Gadgets:

Seed Dispensary: A special container obtained from Madame Ping. According to her, this dispensary has the power to "generate seeds"... That is to say, it can create the seeds of various plants according to their special traits, which can then be planted within the appropriate fields within your Serenitea Pot.

Red Feather Fan: Use this to increase Gliding Movement SPD by 30% for 30s.

Electroculus Resonance Stone: A stone that can be used in Inazuma to search for nearby Electroculi.

Electro Treasure Compass: A handy tool used to locate nearby chests in Inazuma.

Memento Lens: A mysterious lens. If you view small fox statues with this lens, you can find things that were not there before.

Mini Seelie: Viola: A memento from the Lost Riches event. Equip it to obtain a mini Seelie companion.

Artifact Strongbox: Gladiator's Finale, Artifact Strongbox: Wanderer's Troupe, Artifact Strongbox: Bloodstained Chivalry, Artifact Strongbox: Noblesse Oblige

4. New Crafting Bench Function - Mystic Offering

Consume a certain amount of 5-Star Artifacts to craft an Artifact Strongbox that contains a 5-Star Artifact

5. New Riches of the Realm and Creatures of the Realm added in the Realm Depot: Redeem the Furnishings "A Path of Value: Luxuriant Glebe," "A Path of Value: Orderly Meadow," "A Path of Value: Jade Field," "Sub-Space Waypoint" from the Riches of the Realm. Exchange seeds and other materials obtained through the Seed Dispensary from the Creatures of the Realm.

6. New Recipes:

○ Inazuma Shimura's: Egg Roll, Mixed Yakisoba, Miso Soup, Tonkotsu Ramen

○ Inazuma Kiminami Restaurant: Tuna Sushi, Tricolor Dango, Tri-Flavored Skewer

○ Street Food Stall: Dry-Braised Salted Fish

○ Complete the World Quest series "Gourmet Supremos" to obtain: Onigiri, Sashimi Platter, Sakura Tempura, and Crab Roe Kourayaki

○ Complete the World Quest "Gazing Three Thousand Miles Away" to obtain: Imported Poultry

○ Obtain the following from the Inazuma Reputation System: Konda Cuisine, Rice Cake Soup, and Butter Crab

○ Complete the Kamisato Ayaka Story Quest to obtain: Sakura Mochi

○ Kamisato Ayaka's specialty: Snow on the Hearth

○ Kaedehara Kazuha's specialty: All-Weather Beauty

○ Yoimiya's specialty: Summer Festival Fish

○ Sayu's specialty: Dizziness-Be-Gone no Jutsu Version 2.0

7. New Achievements such as "Mortal Travails: Series II," "Challenger: Series IV," "Meetings in Outrealm: Series II," "A Realm Beyond: Series III," "Inazuma: The Islands of Thunder and Eternity - Series I," and additions to the "Wonders of the World" category

8. New Namecards:

○ "Inazuma: Sacred Sakura": Reach Sacred Sakura's Favor Level 48 to obtain.

○ "Travel Notes: Grand Narukami Shrine": Reward obtained via the BP system.

○ "Kamisato Ayaka: Folding Fan": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Kamisato Ayaka

○ "Yoimiya: Auratus Spark": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Yoimiya

○ "Sayu: Muji-Muji Daruma": Reward for reaching Friendship Lv. 10 with Sayu

○ "Inazuma: Kamisato Crest": Reward for reaching Reputation Lv. 4 (Inazuma)

○ "Inazuma: Raiden Emblem": Reward for reaching Reputation Lv. 7 (Inazuma)

○ "Achievement: Gate": Reward for completing all achievements under "Meetings in Outrealm: Series II"

○ "Achievement: Traversal": Reward for completing all achievements under "Mortal Travails: Series II"

○ "Achievement: Stone Dragon": Reward for completing all achievements under "Challenger: Series IV"

○ "Achievement: Full Bloom": Reward for completing all achievements under "A Realm Beyond: Series III"

○ "Inazuma: Kujou Insignia": Reward for completing all achievements under "Inazuma: The Islands of Thunder and Eternity - Series I"

○ "Celebration: Wondrous Calculation": Obtained from the "Theater Mechanicus: Stage of Wonders" event

9. New Animals: Pale Red Crab, General Crab, Violet Ibis, Marrow Lizard, Crow, Kitsune, Bake-Danuki, Electro Crystalfly

10. New Materials:

○ Yumemiru Wood: Cut a Sakura Tree down to obtain

○ Maple Wood: Cut an Amur Maple down to obtain

○ Aralia Wood: Cut an Inazuman Cedar down to obtain

○ Otogi Wood: Cut a Otogi Tree down to obtain

11. Spiral Abyss:

Updated the monster lineup on Floors 9 – 12 of the Spiral Abyss.

Floor 9 Ley Line Disorder changed to:

• A Plasma Field will be generated at the edge of the challenge area once the challenge begins. While within the field, characters will be hit by a lightning strike once every 5s and take Electro DMG. The area covered by the field will gradually expand as the challenge proceeds.

Floor 10 Ley Line Disorder changed to:

• There will be a Leader amongst the opponents present in each challenge on this floor. Its Attendants will also be present to provide it with enhancements and protection. Each Attendant will increase the Leader's Element RES and Physical RES by 10%. The Attendants will restore the Leader's HP every 12s, with each Attendant restoring 5% HP. When there are no Attendants, the Leader will not have any of the above enhancement and restoration effects.

Floor 11 Ley Line Disorders changed to:

• Pyro DMG dealt by all party members increased by 60%.

• Cryo DMG dealt by all party members increased by 60%.

Floor 12 Ley Line Disorders changed to:

• Energy Tides are present in this challenge. They will switch between Elemental High Tide and Elemental Low Tide in 10s cycles.

• During High Tide, a large amount of Elemental Particles will be generated when a character's attack hits opponents, restoring 10 Elemental Energy. This effect can occur once every 2.8s.

• During Low Tide, all characters in the party cannot gain Elemental Energy.

Starting from the first time that the Lunar Phase refreshes after updating to Version 2.0, the three Lunar Phases will be as follows：

Phase 1: Shattering Moon

When an active character's Elemental Energy is fully charged, the DEF of opponents hit by the character's Normal, Charged or Plunging Attacks will be decreased by 7% for 10 seconds. Max 5 stacks. Each stack has an independent duration.

Phase 2: Brimful Moon

When an active character obtains an Elemental Orb or Elemental Particle, the character will unleash a shockwave that deals DMG to surrounding opponents. This kind of shockwave can be unleashed once every 4s.

Phase 3: Stalwart Moon

After unleashing an Elemental Burst, the ATK of every character in the party will be increased by 20% for 10s. Max 3 stacks. Each stack has an independent duration.

● Audio

1. Adds voice lines that will trigger when a character is at low HP.

2. Adds Japanese voice-over for some characters.

● Character

Adds new character combat voice-overs under characters' Profile > Voice-Over

● System

1. Adds some prompts for loading screens

2. Adds Barbara's outfit "Summertime Sparkle" to the Outfit Shop.

[Part 3 will be posted in a few minutes.]

[prismadog]

guys!!! guys guys guysguysuyguygusysuygusyu!!!!!

I did it! I finished the character design I was working on!!! :D it's a lil Shrub with XorXor!!!!!

I'm actually kinda proud of this :] it took a couple days but I got it finished. I was gonna leave it uncolored and just share the lineart but it was like a parasite digging away at that little hyperfixation/obsessive part of my brain so I gave in and spent all day coloring it. I'm so glad I gave in and colored it because it's so freaking cool!

more about the design plus close ups below the line!

a little bit about their design:

first and foremost - FRECKLES!!! :D Xornoth has both dark freckles and purple/pink ones, and Shrub has freckles that are barely darker than her skin [it's always been a headcanon of mine that they both have freckles and I have now made that a reality - also, I get very giddy thinking about their freckles]

HAIR SPARKLES!!! idk why but I really like the idea that they have sparkles in their hair. originally it was just a design choice for Xornoth [inspired by Origins' Scott's starboy hair] but I decided to give Shrub sparkles too so that she can match with her dad :]

Xornoth is wearing a skirt because while they are non-binary, they very much do need to cover up their bits ;)

Shrub has leather shoes with piglin toes attached to match Xornoth's clawed feet, as well as a headband with piglin tusks so that she can match with their horns :p

they both wear gold bands on their wrists - Shrub has one that was made by Xornoth and has carvings; Xornoth has two, the right one made by Shrub and the left a remnant of their past [I didn't actually draw the carvings because 1) I'm not that talented and b) I'm too lazy/tired to try]

the smaller rope bands around Xornoth's neck and ankle were woven by Shrub when she was littler [and by littler, I mean younger]

Shrub also visits quite a lot of bastions and ancient ruins so she has a pauldron on her shoulder and a golden axe on her hip. I imagine that she also has countless scars from all her battles; Xornoth might also have scars, but again, too tired to draw those [instead you get freckles :) and also nipples ;p]

closeups:

1 & 2) Xornoth & Shrub - look at those freckles!!! they have freckles on their ears! ON THEIR EARS!!! AND THEIR FACE!!! ASDFGHJKL [apologies, I just get really excited about this choice because it makes them both look so cute] - you also get a closer look at their hair sparkles which *clears throat* THEY GOTS SPARKLIES IN THEIR HAIR!!! :D 3) Xornoth's legs - I just had to do a close up of their legs because again, freckles. THEY HAVE FRECKLES ON THEIR LEGS [and most importantly, their thighs ;) I feel like such a weirdo for being happy about that fact] 4) feets! this was mostly to show off that Xornoth even has freckles on their feetsies [I am so giddy about their freckles - you have no idea how much I love the freckles] and I included Shrub's feet because why not?

and as an extra bonus, the plain boring uncolored [and freckle-less] lineart. I was originally only going to share the lineart but as I said above, my brain wouldn't let me leave this uncolored.

[haru-sen]

IAL: Mandalorians 2

Thanks, 3-D Render Anon, with your adorable voodoo dolls.  That was the serotonin I needed.

I should be working, but I’m posting this.  The Mando’a phrases and cultural dishes are from Wookieepedia.  I’ll post the actual translations in the fic, but I don’t have time right now.

You woke up in a tent, your entire body aching.  You were tucked under some blankets, a bedroll under your head.  Your sabers were still on your belt.  

“Query: are you done yet?” HK-53 asked, from overhead.  “Also, are you sure I can’t kill these Mandalorians?”  

“I am going to track down that pacifist module and shove it right up your accessory port,” you muttered.  “Just you wait-”

“Shock: Master, how could you threaten your loyal droid this way?  When did Master get so cruel?  I am very proud of you!”  

Laughing, you held your head for a moment. “What happened?”

“Recollection:  You collapsed. The blue-armored meatbag injected you with kolto, and carried you here.  The black-armored meatbag kept his gun on me, and I made sure neither of them did strange things to your person while you were inconveniently indisposed. It has been a little over a standardized hour since you lost consciousness.”  

You sat up slowly.  The sun was still up.  “Where are we?”

“The witch is alive.”  

You blinked, the black-armored Mandalorian standing in front of you.  He was not wearing his helmet. Tall, with dark skin and clawmark scars across his cheeks, he loomed over you.  He was well-groomed, his beard neatly trimmed, his black hair was immaculately styled.  How did he not have helmet hair?  

Blue scrambled over, also with his helmet off, also younger than you expected.  He was blonde, hair gelled and styled.  What the hell? Did Mandalorians discover the secret to preventing helmet hair?   He smiled at you, with eyes as blue as his armor, his cheeks flushed. “You’re recovering much faster than I expected. How are you feeling?”

“Like I drank Delta Squad under the table again…”  You said, rubbing your forehead.  You had overdone it back there.  Between the terentatek corruption, the Ataru form, and the subsequent wounds, you had pushed yourself too hard too quickly.  

“Jedi drink?” Blue raised a brow.  

“No, we just absorb dew through our pores,” you scowled.

“This Jedi witch is about to get dunked in a lake if she keeps giving me that attitude,” Skull said coolly.  

“Well, I am thirsty,” you said.  

To your surprise, Blue offered his canteen, looked thoughtful for a moment, took a drink, and then offered it again.  “It’s not poisoned.”  

“Disgust: Not poisoned, but definitely contaminated,” HK-53 said.

You hesitantly accepted the canteen, drinking down some of the metallic-tasting water. “Thanks.”  You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “What do I call you?”

“Reaper,” Skull said. “76.” He pointed at Blue.  “You?”

“Strike,” you said,  climbing to your feet.  The world wobbled, but did not tilt too far on its axis.   You looked around.  This encampment was small, but there was a cold firepit and vehicle tracks. They had not set this up in a couple hours.  They had been in this area for awhile.  

“Strike,” Reaper said, expression grim.  “I think we need to talk.”  

“No, I need to get to Nar Shaddaa,” you said.  

The men looked at each other.  “So do we.”  

“That’s what we need to talk about,” 76 said, crossing his arms.  

You stood there for a moment, a little intuitive nudge already sending your thoughts into overdrive. This was about to get even more complicated. “Because you really like casinos?  Right?” You asked, with a sigh.  

“Because we need to get one of those kids back,” Reaper said.  

“...Of course, you do,” you said, staring up at the sky.  You were glad someone had survived to hire mercs to rescue their kid. And you didn’t really care if the child chose to avoid training on Tython. But you did not need battle-happy Mandalorians ruining your operation.  “Which one?”

“Xenya Itera, human female.” Reaper held out a holo of a little girl with a tiny spherical droid floating over her outstretched hands.  She was dark skinned, her hair in several long tiny braids. She was smiling.  “You can rescue the others, but we are obligated to retrieve her.”  

“And if she doesn’t want to go with you?” You asked, crossing your arms.

“Then she doesn’t have to,” Reaper said with a shrug, surprisingly unbothered by the question.  

“Your bounty?”

“Not your problem,” Reaper said coolly.  “We just need to get the kid away from the Cartels. Simple enough.  Easier too if we go after them together.”  

...Two sensible, non-volatile suggestions from Mandalorian mercs in one day? Was the world coming to an end? ...Or was it a trap? There was a long history of bad blood between Jedi and the Mandalorian clans.  

“What clan?”  You asked suddenly.  

“Excuse me?” Reaper said.

“What clan are you?”

The men looked at you for a moment, like they hadn’t expected that question.  “Clan Ordo.”  

You nodded.  You didn’t have any standing grudges with Clan Ordo.  Hell, you hadn’t really ever dealt with them.  But they weren’t Clan Lok, Rook, Varad, or Viszla, so you were probably good for the moment.  “I can work with that.”

**

“You should be fine with Ordo,” Rogun said, over the comm-link.  “They were one of the clans that backed the Crusader’s Schism, several years back – wanted to side with the Republic instead of the Empire.  Whole thing got crushed by Mandalore the Vindicated, and Ordo was eventually welcomed back into the fold, with honor.  So they likely don’t have the grudge that Lok and Viszla do.  I can’t speak for the individuals though.”

“Good to know,” you said, sitting cross legged in the tent.  “And Talon?”

“...I guess you’re right, Strike.  There are no coincidences.  He’s been spotted on Nar Shaddaa, near the slave markets with an entourage.”  An entourage? Did that mean…?  Rogun gave a rough laugh.  “The Force moves in mysterious ways.”  

“No, the Force is a mean bitch with an axe to grind, usually in my face,” you scowled.  

Rogun guffawed, the lethorns on the side of his head shaking.  “You’re never going to make Master with that kind of talk.”  

You rolled your eyes upward, like that was the only thing keeping you from obtaining the rank of Master.  Ha!  “Just so you know, I got quizzed by the Council on our association.”  

“I’m sure you said nice things about me,” he said, his grin mean.

“I said, your sandwiches suck.”

Rogun scowled back at you.  “It was the best I could do during an active bombardment!”

You knew adult Chagrians often lost their sense of taste due to environmental factors, and maybe that was the reason the food had been awful, but it was rude to point that part out.  “Yeah, well, I talked you up a little too.  Made sure they knew that despite your questionable occupation, you’re a friend of the Republic.”

“Great, so when they come knocking at my door for favors or charitable handouts, I know who to blame.”  

“Just give them one of those sandwiches, that’ll send them on their way.”

Rogun squinted at you.  “It’s a good thing you’re useful, Strike.”

You laughed.  “Thanks, Rogun. Keep me updated on Lord Talon’s movements.  I’ll make you a delicious sandwich in gratitude.”

“Go kiss a sarlaac,” he scowled, and hung up.

“You certainly have a way with people,” Reaper said, hovering by the entrance.  

You had not noticed his approach. How much had he heard?  “That’s me, making friends wherever I go,” you said with a shrug.

Reaper gave a low chuckle.  “You and that mouthy droid.”  

You glanced around, realizing HK-53 had not been over your shoulder for your conversation with Rogun. You got up, a little concerned.

“Relax, he’s shooting bogstalkers with 76.  They were attacking the comms equipment.  I’ve already updated my people. I’m going to finish breaking down the camp, and then we can go.”  

You started to disassemble the tent, watching as HK and 76 sniped at the leathery reptilians that fluttered in the sky.  

“What are you flying?” Reaper asked, packing several weapons into crates.

“The usual – Rendili Defender-class light corvette.  It’ll get us where we need to go.”

“And you think your credentials will be enough to get us through Olaris?” He asked, because the Republic-held city wasn’t too friendly toward Mandalorians.  

“I can, but it might be easier if you leave off the helmets.  I know that’s culturally insensitive, but we’ll move faster if I don’t have to pull rank on a bunch of terrified soldiers and customs agents,”  You shrugged, bundling the tent tightly.

“Sensible,” was all Reaper said.  

**

“So what’s it like, traveling with a Jedi Knight?” 76 asked, lowering his rifle.

“Declaration: That is a broad question, meatbag.  Be more specific,” HK-53 said, rifle aimed at a ferrazid hound, the mutated creature already tearing apart a broke receiver.  

76 laughed.  “Do you get in a lot of fights?”

“Bragging: We get in so many fights.  The number of people who want to kill Master is very high. And it doesn’t seem to get lower, despite how many people we do kill. If I wasn’t so busy killing her enemies, I would want to fight her one day.”  HK-53 paused, its head twitching.

76 frowned.  “Why does she attract such enmity?  Just who are you killing?”

“Aggravation: Master has killed many things, usually enemies of the Republic, but she has also made many rules about what I am not allowed to kill.  It is unnecessarily complicated.  For example, Master generally prefers to let the enemy make the first move of aggression, to ensure that it is adhering to her archaic rules of “moral” combat.  Sometimes she even talks people out of fighting her.  Can you believe it?  She knows they’re her enemies and she lets them walk away! She should just kill them ahead of time, not spare them.  What is she thinking?” HK-53 gunned down the mutated hound-beast.  “But Master is a Jedi, and Jedi have to follow silly rules,” the droid muttered petulantly.  

“How did a...violent murder-happy droid like yourself end up with a Jedi then?” 76 asked.

HK-53 tilted its head, giving 76 a very skeptical look.  “Suspicion: Such flattery. Why are you asking so many questions, meatbag?”  

“I’m just curious about the people I’m traveling with,” 76 said, rubbing the back of his neck.  “It’s not every day I meet a Jedi Knight or such an...enthusiastic battle droid.  It leaves an impression.  There’s a story there.”

HK-53 stared at him, those eyes glowing.  “Satisfaction: We are impressive. You don’t need to know more.”  Turning back to the swamps, HK-53 surveyed the area. “Observation: Oh, it looks like Master and the other meatbag want us to return.”

76 just laughed awkwardly.

**

“Concern: Master, that meatbag was asking a lot of questions about us.”  HK-53 was secured to speeder on the seat behind you.  The Mandalorians were on the other. You were technically using their equipment, but you didn’t exactly trust a bunch of battle-happy maniacs in the driver’s seat.  That included your droid.

You zoomed over marshlands and fields, the Mandalorians riding parallel to you.  

“What kind of questions?”

To your surprise, HK-53 just replayed the recording of the conversation.  Normally, he was all too happy to summarize an interaction, and intersperse his own commentary, but he let it play out without interruption.

“Query: There is subtext that I do not understand, Master.  Is he probing for weakness?  What angle is he coming from?  What does he hope to learn?”

You sighed.  “It could be socially-motivated, but I’m sure he’s also trying to gather intel.  People often let a lot of things slip in friendly conversation.”  

“Query: What did he let slip?”

“Not a lot,” you said, thoughtfully. “But he’s trying to be diplomatic, and he seems to have a personal interest in Jedi.”

“Query: How can you tell?”

“The enthusiasm,” you said. “He’s not just asking for intelligence purposes.  He’s interested in the topic, and he wants to make a good impression on you.  I’m not exactly sure why – Mandalorian mercs aren’t really known for their diplomatic skills, but I think if we talk to him more, we’ll figure it out.”  

“Statement: These Mandalorians are not what I expected.  Normally, we just fight them, and it’s a little difficult, but it’s done.  This change in behavior is...disconcerting.”  

“Yeah, I know.  Nothing about this mission is what we expected,” you muttered.  

**

  “Clean, sturdy, and fast,” Reaper said, looking over your ship.  “Not bad.”  

“Spacious,” 76 said, with a nod.

Given the fact that it was just you and HK-53, the ship was almost too big.  “You guys can make yourselves comfortable in the crew quarters,” you said, gesturing to the rooms.  “Let me know if you need anything.  I’m going to make some calls before we reach Nar Shaddaa.”

But first you needed to change into an intact top, and check your wounds.  Your robe was ruined, and there were three parallel gashes across your low back.  They nearly spanned the entire width of your back, and were each a couple inches wide, and thankfully not too deep.  But they would take a while to heal.  76 was right, you would scar.  Your healing skills just weren’t up good enough.  Still.  

The auto-navigation was engaged, cockpit locked.  You wouldn’t have to take the helm till you reached Nar Shaddaa.  You didn’t exactly trust the Mandalorians on your ship, but you could feel them settling down, sharing one of the two sleeping rooms - there were multiple berths on your ship, but they holed up in one together. And they were behaving. To your surprise, when you reached Olaris, the Mandalorians had tucked their helmets into their bags, and quietly followed you through the spaceport.  HK-53 attracted more attention with his running commentary, but boarding had gone smoothly.  

You put HK-53 outside the comm room and shut the door.  

You first called Master Amari, to give her the update for the Council.  Yes, you were going to Nar Shaddaa.  Also, Orgo the Hutt had a terentatek and had tried to feed you to it.  You did not have time to finish the beast – but you would return to take care of it, after you rescued the children.  You had picked up some Mandalorians – they were also tracking one of the children and on their best behavior.  

Master Amari had been interested to learn they were Clan Ordo, but seemed satisfied with your progress.  You did not mention Lord Talon.  

The next call was less staid.  

“A terentatek, Theron,” you snarled.  “How did you manage to leave out that detail?”

“I don’t keep an inventory of every crime lord’s dungeon!”

“It’s a goddamn terentatek, not a monkey lizard!  How did he even get one?”

“Did you try asking him?” The spy asked snidely.  He lounged on the comm unit, looking nothing like the sickly boy you’d met on Haashimut. “I was too busy trying not to die!”

“Sounds like a “you problem,” he shrugged.  “And stop whining, you didn’t die.”  He grinned at you.  

“No, thanks to you!”

“You didn’t invite me.  You could still invite me,” he said, leaning forward, his eyes bright and too eager.

“Pfft, since when did you care about a dozen potential padawans?” You asked, even though you knew the answer, just like you knew why you had not invited Theron along.  It would get too complicated for a variety of reasons.  “This is barely even Jedi business.  It’s a criminal venture that happens to have Imperial ties – not really relevant to the SIS or your career.”

“...I heard you saw the Grandmaster,” he said, suddenly subdued.  

And that was exactly why you had not invited him.  Theron was a shady son of a bitch on the best of days.  That said “bitch” happened to be Grandmaster Satele Shan was just another level of complicated. There were so many reasons the situation was screwed: she had given him up immediately, his father was “unknown,” and he didn’t have enough force sensitivity to blow out a candle.  His solution? He’d gotten some kind of high end cybernetic implant and gone off to play spymaster for the Republic, instead of working through his feelings.

But there was always an underlying layer of bitter regrets that accompanied his dealings with the Jedi Order.  

“Yes, she looks healthy,” you said, playing it off like it was not a big deal. “It was going to be a disciplinary hearing, but that changed, because I’m just a pawn in some greater philosophical argument.  Or maybe because they needed me to do a job,” you scowled.  “I still annoy her, don’t worry.”  

“Wanna wager which one of us is the greater disappointment?” Theron asked, his smile deceptively cheerful.  You knew better than to answer that question.  “Just kidding, Strike.  It’s obviously you.” He made finger guns.  “She hasn’t given me a second thought.”  

You shrugged, pretending like you didn’t hear the open wound in that statement. “I doubt it’s anything so important.  I just get a lot of lectures from the Council.  You can probably guess what they think about strong emotion and any activity that isn’t meditating in front of a fountain.”  You paused. “Look, do you want to be there when I report back to them?  Like as an SIS adjutant or something?”

Theron let out a harsh laugh. “Are you trying to get kicked out, Strike? You show up to a High Council meeting with the Grandmaster’s bastard offspring in tow?  How’s that going to look?”

“...You’re the one asking to come along,” you scowled.  “Make up your own mind, Theron.  I don’t offer to drag you into stupid Order business, you complain.  I do offer to bring you into stupid Order business, after you ask, and you decline and point out why it’s a dumb idea.  This is why you don’t have friends.”

“You’re one to talk, unable to make real connections because the Order stunted you for the first half of your life. Now here you are, running around with that psychotic defective HK unit, like it will replace what you lost on Corellia, chasing after Lord Talon like he’s the one you’re mad at, instead of-”  

The world narrowed to a single point.  Red light flashed across your field of vision.  

“You need to stop talking,” you said, your voice going cold.    

Theron blinked, his eyes widening.  “...Druk.  Strike, I didn’t mean-”

You cut the connection, the room blurring around you for a moment.  It took a couple seconds for your vision to adjust.  To realize how angry you were.  Sure, Theron was an asshole, but he’d only peeled back the scab on a still-festering wound.  You tilted your head back.

Breathe in.  Hold.  Breathe out.  Hold.  Repeat till the darkness recedes.  

Gradually, your control steadied.  But you sat with that cloud of anger, not letting it go, nor letting it take ascendance.  It was there, a pulsing reminder of your humanity.  

You were going to kill Lord Talon and maybe his apprentice.  Not because you hated him, though you did.  Not because it was the right thing to do, though it was.  You were going to kill him for personal reasons, and unlike the rest of the Order, you were not going to lie to yourself about it.  And if that brought you down, if that decision made you fall, well, you were prepared.  You had taken the appropriate precautions. There would be no Sith Lord Strike.  

There was a ping as you received an incoming message.  It was from Theron. It was only five words.  

I’m an ass.  I’m sorry.

You shook your head, not ready to respond just yet, and left the comm room.  

**

“Is that the best you can do?” 76 laughed, and then there was whumpf, before you heard a body hit the floor.  

You peeked into the bunks, to see the Mandalorians stripped down to their shorts, wrestling on the ground.  Both men were muscular, with noticeable scars from blasters, vibroblades, and even some teeth and clawmarks.  But the tattoos were interesting… Reaper had a full left sleeve, and 76 had some very colorful creatures etched on his back.  Was that a varactyl?  

“See something you like?” 76 asked, glancing over at you.

Reaper looked up at you, narrowing his eyes.  “Or are we being too loud?”

“I wasn’t sure what was going on, just making sure it wasn’t a murder,” you said.  “Carry on then.” You abruptly turned around, shoulders taut.  You would not stare.  And you certainly would not get caught staring.  

“Hey, you seem kind of stressed.  Do you want to spar or something?” 76 asked.  

“That’s not a good idea right now,” you said, tensing.

“Why, because you’re still weak from getting your ass handed to you by a Sithspawn freak?” Reaper asked, casually.  “Don’t worry, witch. I’ll go easy on you, if you ask me nicely.”  His grin was savage.  

You turned back to face him, feeling the anger pour off you in waves. “...Mandalorian, do you need someone to humble you that badly?” You asked, your voice low and harsh.  

Reaper laughed.  “You don’t scare me, witch.  Choose your weapons.  And if you need to hide behind your fancy light swords-”

���Practice blades will do,” you said.  “Come on then.”  

Reaper squinted at you.

“You don’t think I’m going to tear up this room, do you?  The sparring mats are on the lower decks,” you said, already heading down.  

**

You picked up two blades off the rack, choosing a full blade and a half-length blade.  The cargo hold was equipped for exercise, as you did not normally transport a lot of goods.  You stretched, ignoring the whispered conversation between the Mandalorians.  

“Oh good, the medbay is across the hall-” 76 said.

“Whose side are you on?” Reaper growled.  

“You’re out of armor, cyar’ika,” 76 murmured. “She’s a Jedi.  The outcome is obvious.”

“Hut’uun,” Reaper spat.  “Verd ori'shya beskar'gam.”

“Don’t be salty because I’m telling the truth, mir’osik.” 76 laughed.

Maybe you should have called HK down here.  He could have translated the Mando’a for you.  Except he’d be calling for real bloodsport instead of just sparring.  And you didn’t need that temptation right now.  

You took a few practice swings, reviewing your forms.  Niman would be the most sensible.  This was just a sparring match. It was an all-around style, and Reaper had a lot more muscle mass than you did.  You did not need to go all out. You swung the longer blade, feeling the air part in front of you.  

Reaper glowered at 76, then stalked over to the weapon rack.  

“Don’t worry, Mandalorian,” you said, your mouth curving in a mockery of a smile.  “I won’t use my witchcraft to beat you.  I’ll do it with my own two hands.”

“You don’t sound much like a Jedi right now,” Reaper said as he stepped on the mat, holding a single vibrosword.    

“What do I sound like then?” You asked, as you began to circle each other.  

“A real soldier,” Reaper said.  “Which is impossible, because everyone knows that the Jedi like to hide in their fancy temples praying for peace, while their soldiers die.”  

You just smiled, the insult gliding right by your ear.  You had made that argument too many times to be offended by it.  Especially when it was from a Mandalorian braggart trying to get under your skin.  But it said everything that this was how an outsider viewed your order.  

You spun your swords, the heavier one in your dominant hand, feeling just right.  The anger boiling under your skin seemed to evaporate.  It was just energy now, ready to power you through another fight.  Your mind slid back into its seat of balance.  

Reaper charged you, lunging forward, the blade cutting through the air in a horizontal arc.  You sidestepped, ninety degrees to the right, just out of his reach.  And while his blade was extended, you slipped around his guard, and dragged your short sword across his back, a thin line of blood appearing seconds later.

He whirled, swinging the sword at you.  You parried with your left hand, and glided forward, under his guard, so close you couldn’t swing your other blade.  Instead, you grinned up at him, and rammed the hilt into his stomach.  

Coughing, Reaper doubled over, glared at you, and then his leg snapped up.  You slid backward, but a half-second to slow.  He kicked you in the chest, and you had to catch yourself in a spin.  It was suddenly hard to breathe.  

He charged you again, blade raised overhead.  

You instinctively raised your swords to parry, catching his blade between both of yours.  You twisted, and the vibrosword flew out of his hands, and landed on the floor of the cargohold with a clatter.  

“Do you yield?” You asked, spinning your swords. “Or would you like a moment to go retrieve your weapon, Mandalorian?  That’s fine.  I’ll wait.”  You grinned. “Because I can do this all night long.”

Reaper stared at you, eyes dark, nostrils flared. He was bleeding, breathing hard, and sweat glistened on his velvety skin, but he didn’t look like he was done.  

“Maybe you’d like to try both of us then?” 76 asked, his eyes narrowed. He picked up Reaper’s sword and then a stave for himself.  He placed the sword in Reaper’s outstretched hand, and took up a stance beside his comrade.  “Tion'ad hukaat'kama?”

You tilted your head back, moving your head from side to side.  76 held the staff like he knew how to use it.   You closed your eyes, feeling the currents of the force flow through you, a picture of the field forming in your head.   They stood side by side, but they would attempt to box you in.  They both had excellent range, but 76 would have the advantage of reach.   You could see the range and motion of their attacks before they made them, and while it would be difficult, you were good at this. “What are you waiting for?  An invitation?”

76 lunged first, sweeping the staff at knee-height.  

You leapt over the attack, even as Reaper slid to your right swung the vibrosword in a downward arc.  Elbow bent, wrist pressed to your head, you blocked the strike.

76 struck again, thrusting the staff like a polearm.  

You jumped backward out of his range, disengaging from Reaper’s sword lock.  You spun around toward Reaper, blades outstretched.  

76 swung the staff around, blocking the area across Reaper’s torso.

You struck the staff with a clang, and had to swing your right blade to block Reaper’s counterattack.  You disengaged again, dancing to the side, putting Reaper between you and 76. He tried to swing his sword, but you parried the blow again, and whipped your other blade across his cheek with a little flourish.  

The skin split and instead of countering, he stared at you, with an intensity that made you hesitate.  

From behind Reaper,  76 thrust again, striking you in the side with the staff. You hissed, and kicked Reaper backward into 76.   The blonde man steadied his friend, and together they stayed on their feet.  

You touched your side, knowing that the area would need extra healing later.  But it wasn’t enough to bring you down now. Breathing hard, you took a deep breath and whirled toward them, blades spinning in your hands.  

Still leaning on 76, Reaper didn’t have a chance to take a strong defensive stance.  You caught his vibrosword between yours, and scissored them, sending his weapon flying once more.  You couldn’t quite kick him aside, so you circled around to 76.  You got close, too close for him to use the staff properly.  He could block your blows, but he didn’t have the space to maneuver.  Your blades slid off the staff, but still scraped against his chest, slicing a long gash through the pink skin, the tip of the short sword catching on a gold ring.  

“Haar'chak!” He yowled.  

“Ke'pare!” Reaper shouted.  “Wait!”  

You froze, having not noticed the little gold rings on his nipples. “Disengaging,” you said, dropping your vibrosword, and very carefully freeing the short blade from the piercing.  “Why the hell would you leave those in for a sparring match?” You asked, backing up.  

Wincing, 76 held a hand over the right nipple ring.  “I...forgot,” he mumbled.  

“Showoff,” Reaper said, shaking his head.  

“I’ll get the kolto,” you sighed, setting the blades back in the rack, before you went across the hall to the medbay.  You grabbed the first aid kit and headed back.  

76 sat in the middle of the mats, rubbing his chest sheepishly.  Reaper sat next to him, shaking his head.  

“Hold still,” you said, crouching down in front of him to examine the cuts on his chest.  You cleaned the wounds with a sanitizing wipe and then applied a layer of kolto over the cuts.  You glanced at the nipple.  It was pink and a lot more swollen than the other one, but still intact.  You hadn’t torn the piercing or cut anything off. It wasn't even bleeding. Squeezing a little more kolto onto your thumb, you rubbed it lightly against his nipple.

76 stiffened, inhaling sharply as you put the healing gel on him.  He was breathing hard now, chest and face flushed from the exertion. He watched you with hooded eyes, teeth clenched.  “Do you patch up all your conquests?”  

“No, normally there isn’t enough left to fix,” you said, meeting his gaze.  

He studied your face for a moment.  You could feel the heat pouring off him.  He leaned closer.  “So I’m one of the lucky ones?”

“Very, you almost lost that piercing and more.” You said, your mouth suddenly dry.

“It’s still sore, maybe you could put some more kolto on it,” he purred, a very knowing smile on his face.

“No, I think you deserve to suffer a little for your stupidity,” you said, backing up.  You glanced at Reaper.  “Do you need kolto?”

“Go on then,” Reaper said coolly, sitting up straight.  

You crouched back down in front of Reaper, keeping him partially between you and 76.  You worked quickly, your fingers lightly tracing the scar on his face.  He watched you sullenly, as you quickly applied the gel.  And then he turned around, silently giving you his back. His skin was hot under your fingertips, and you tried to seal the wound quickly, very conscious of 76’s hungry gaze. You slapped a bandage on it, and he turned back around, plucking the kolto out of your hands.

“Let’s see those ribs,” Reaper told you calmly.  “76 hit you pretty hard.”  

“I can take care of it myself,” you said.  

“No one’s going to pounce on you,” Reaper said.  “And even if they did, you could handle them.” He did not look at 76.  “Now don’t be stubborn and try going up that ladder with your ribs cracked. That’s just foolish.” There wasn’t any of the previous malice in his voice, just a gentle chiding that reminded you a little of Master Amari.  

Sighing, you unfastened your sash, and peeled back your robes, wincing as you touched your left side.  

His head tilted to the side, Reaper applied the healing gel to your bare skin, his warm hands gently massaging it into your left side.  You bit your lip, placing a hand near there as you tried to convince the bones to knit back together correctly.  

Between the kolto and the little bit of force healing you could manage, the pain began to subside.  

“Better?” Reaper asked, his palm still pressed to your side, close to your hand.  

“Yes,” you said, swallowing roughly.  “I should be good.”  

Reaper bowed his head.  “You won, Jedi.  I am...humbled by your prowess.” He nodded to you, giving you a slight smile.  “But I would like to try against you again later.  Perhaps barehanded next time.”  

You remembered seeing them rolling around on the ground, wrestling.  Your breath caught.  “You’re welcome to use the sparring mats,” you said, pulling away, closing your robes and tying off your sash.  “But I need to go meditate.”  

“Will you join us later?” Reaper asked.

“...We’ll see,” you said, glancing at 76, who lounged on his side, one hand cupping his sore pectoral.  

76 winked at you.  “Feel better?”  

You blinked, having already forgotten why you’d agreed to spar in the first place.  “Yes, thank you, but I really need to go meditate.”  

“I can think of some other things that would help you out,” 76 said, looking you up and down with a smile.

“I really should go,” you said, already halfway out the door.

**

“I need to go meditate?”  Really?  That was your best excuse?  It worked, but still…

Grumbling you, shut yourself in your quarters, limping to the fresher for a shower.   It was quick, and you changed into another clean robe – today had been hard on clothes – and then settled on your floor cushion, still feeling the force run through you.  

You did not contemplate the temple fountains, nor the forests of Tython, nor any Jedi object.  You stared out the window, into the void of space, the stars twinkling in the distance.  You fully expected flashes of red light, or even that dark haze that settled over your mind when you really got to thinking about the past.  

But the force continued to move through you in strong currents.  It was like sitting up to your shoulders in a warm ocean.  The world took on a soft gray glow, and you let yourself drift.

It was the most peaceful you had felt since Corellia.

**

“Knight Strike, are you occupied?” 76 asked over the intercom.  

You opened one eye, focus settling back into your body.  “Do you need something?”

“We took the liberty of making a meal, and thought you might be hungry,” he said.

You blinked. “Oh, I’ll be down in a minute.”  The offer took you by surprise.  HK-53 had said nothing about them moving around the ship. You rose, tightening your robe, and left your quarters.  

A warm savory scent hit you as you opened the door.  The entire deck smelled of rich spices and sauteed aromatics.  It was coming from the conference room – the one you used as a makeshift dining room back when… Back when there had been more people on your ship.  

The Mandalorians were inside and had set up hotplates and a kettle on the table.  Reaper was back in his polished black armor, sans helmet, stirring a pot. He did not look up when you came in.  He just lifted a battered spoon to his lips and tasted the stew or maybe it was a casserole?  If so, it was heavily sauced.    

76 stood over his own battered iron skillet, an amber colored cake within.  He cautiously poured some syrup over the cake.   Then he cracked open a bottle and poured an even more generous amount of dark liquor over it.  “It’s almost done!”  

“If you want to cook, I have a small kitchen setup in my quarters-” You paused, realizing that maybe you did not want them traipsing in and out of your bedroom.  

“Oh? Really? I would like to see that,” Reaper said, looking up and smiling at you, heat in his gaze.  He lifted the spoon from the pot, offering you a taste of the bright orange stew.  It had chunks of mystery meat, vegetables, and what looked like beans.  It smelled like fire, smoke, and peppers, clearing whatever spacedust might have been clogging your sinuses.  You hesitantly took a bite.  It was savory and hot. The layers of earthy and smoky spices blended well together and even though you were still chewing, you wanted another bite almost immediately.

Even if you had never tasted this dish before, there was something immediately comforting about it.  The meat was smoked.  The vegetables had likely been dried and reconstituted in the sauce.  The “beans” were actually some kind of grains, soft and fluffy with just the right amount of chewiness.  “That’s very good,” you said. “What is it?”  

“Tiingilar,” Reaper said, watching your face.  “It doesn’t burn too much, I hope.”  

“The seasoning is excellent.  I’m very fond of peppers,” you said, raising a brow.  Was he hoping that it was too much for you?  That seemed a possibility.  You had beaten him in combat, so he was going to compete with you in other ways.  Still, if it meant that he cooked a nice dinner, you wouldn’t take too much offense.    

Reaper just smiled at you.  “You are full of surprises.  The last non-Mandalorian I fed this to accused me of poisoning her.  It was...too hot for her delicate mouth.”  

“She wasn’t as well-traveled as Knight Strike,” 76 said, flipping his skillet and dumping the cake onto a battered metal plate.  “Uj'alayi. It’s a traditional dessert,” he told you, pulling out a combat knife and slicing it into six pieces.  “It can be made in our helmets.  Reaper insisted that I use a pan this time.” He winked. “But I think the helmet adds to the flavor.”

“Interesting,” you said, glancing at Reaper, who just chuckled.  “Should I get-”

“No need! We have tiingilar, uj’alayi, and behot tea.  Plenty of food to go around,”  76 said proudly.  He paused, gesturing to the table.  

“And I have a few extra bottles of kri’gee and narcolethe, if you’re interested,” Reaper said, a little too innocently. “Now I think he is trying to poison me,” you said, because you weren’t an idiot.  Those liquors were very potent.  

“I have some extra ne’tra gal,” 76 said, gesturing to the bottle he had.  “It’s a much nicer ale.”  

“It would go well with the uj’alayi,” Reaper said, setting a bowl of his spicy stew in front of you.  He poured you a mug of tea.  Then he began doling out portions for himself and 76.

76 put a slice of cake in front of you, along with the open bottle of ne’tra gal.

You took a sip of the sticky sweet ale.  It was more potent than you were expecting, but it was Mandalorian alcohol.  You then took a small bite of the dense cake.  It was rich and sticky, filled with dried fruit, nuts, and some kind of sweet syrup.  The syrup had carmelized a little on the outside of the cake, but the inside was almost too sweet, except for the ale that soaked in.   You washed it down with more of the ale.    

76 watched you eagerly.  “What do you think?”

“It’s rich,” you said.  “But the ne’tra gal does go well with it.”

“It was originally army rations – lots of calories for a march,” Reaper said.  “We thought you might enjoy some traditional Mandalorian food.”  

“That was very kind,” you said. “It’s delicious.”  

“Do Jedi have tasty traditional food?”  76 asked.

You sat with that for a moment. “...It’s actually kind of bland,” you sighed.  “Nutritious, but not fancy.  They don’t want us to be “distracted” by such things.”  Back in the day, Theron had smuggled you candies, snack foods, and even alcohol.  You felt a twinge of annoyance.  Back in the day, Theron hadn’t been such an asshole.  “I like trying new things though.  I had to sneak around in Coruscant – make it look like I was only stopping because I needed “sustenance.”  Not because the food stall smelled delicious.”

“We are not encouraged to be easily distracted by food,” Reaper said with a frown.  “But there is no harm in enjoying it.”  

“...Jedi aren’t supposed to “enjoy” things,” you muttered.  “Well, they can, just not…too much.”

“What counts as “too much?” 76 asked, taking a big bite of cake.  

You shrugged.  “That’s a philosopher’s debate.  But we’re meant to focus on denying most temptations.  Want and attachment lead to other negative emotions, which lead to hate, which leads to the Dark Side.  Let me summarize it for you: everything fun leads to the Dark Side.”  You rolled your eyes and took another swig of ale. “Depending on who catches you, that lecture can go on for hours.”

“Enjoying cake leads to becoming a Sith Lord?”  76 chuckled.  “I want to eat more.  Will that get me my own lightsaber?”  

You laughed.  

“Your Order has a real fear of this Dark Side,” Reaper said, sipping his tea.  “It seems a little convenient, like a method of control.”  

“The fear is legitimate, but the safeguards are controversial.”  You took another bite of his spicy stew.  “It’s complicated.”  

“So what happens when a Jedi goes to the Dark Side, becomes dar’jetii? Why is this so dreaded?  I have met the dar’jetii of the Empire.  Some are reasonable.  Many are not.  But they are not Jedi, and they are not so much more fearsome.”  Reaper’s brows furrowed.

“We’ve fought dar’jetii,” 76 said, chest puffed out.  “And we’ve won.  Didn’t get to keep the lightsaber though.  Captain got it.”  He gave you a rueful smile.  

“I assume dar’jetii means “Sith.”  And that’s part of the problem.”  You took another sip of tea, staring at the wall.  “There are two different understandings of the terms.  The political difference is that Jedi are force-sensitives who work for the Republic.  Sith work for the Empire.  It is an overly-simple explanation.” You held the mug between your hands, its warmth comforting.  

“That is how we understand it,” Reaper said.  

“Then you have the philosophical definitions.  There are two sides to the Force, Light and Dark.  The choices you make in life determine your alignment.  There are Imperial Sith, who are fair-minded and compassionate.  Even if they may not follow the Jedi Code, they are of the Light, though it would be unwise of them to advertise that.”

“And there are Jedi who are cruel and bloodthirsty, and they are of the Dark?”  Reaper asked.  “Your Order allows this?”

“No, they do not.  In fact, they are dismissed from the Order, and sometimes they are imprisoned.  Sometimes it is...worse.”  You did not look at them.  

“That seems like a tactical disadvantage,”  76 said.

“...It’s more than that.”  You switched back to the ne’tra gal. “Sometimes singular choices can swing a Light-side Jedi to the opposite end of the spectrum.  They go from honorable, kind, and patient to violent, cruel, and despotic in seconds.  Falling is a sudden kind of madness. Often they turn on their friends and allies, killing the people they swore to protect. Sometimes they recover who they were and regret what was done.  Sometimes they just become monsters.”  

“What causes it? I haven’t heard of Sith having such experiences often.” Reaper asked.  “Do they fear an inverse effect?”

You laughed, imagining that for a moment.  “No, I guess I haven’t heard of a Sith suddenly being filled with an uncontrollable sense of altruism.  At least, not to the same degree.  They may switch sides or work to seek redemption, but these are conscious choices.”

“So what makes Jedi so much easier to influence?” 76 asked.  

“Well, the Sith Code does encourage a certain amount of violence and backstabbing, but that’s the question, isn’t it?  The Jedi Order thinks if we, as individuals, keep our distance from the world, do not get attached to others, and live like ascetics, we can avoid falling.  If we just follow their rules, and live in our cloisters, we will be safe.”  The bitterness of your words surprised you.  

“Is there no middle ground?”

You took another bite of the stew.  “That’s also complicated. Allegedly, there is.”  You thought of the Gray Jedi. “But it is not an explanation accepted within our Order.  I have witnessed people falling.  It is...horrible to see someone you have known your entire life changing into the antithesis of themselves.”

“So if...attachment makes them fall, what brings them back?  Do you appeal to their honor?”  76 asked.

“Maybe,” you said, because you would give a lot to find the answer to that question.  “I think...reminding them what they found to be so important can help.”  You thought of Nomen Karr.  “But sometimes they are just in denial.  They think they are infallible, they think that excuses whatever actions they take, and that accumulation of corruption combined with their own hubris destroys them.”  You sighed.  

“What causes this madness?  The revelation of their own hypocrisies?” Reaper pressed.  

“Force users are...vessels.  The Force runs through us, it is like a constant stream of energy.  That energy can manifest in different ways.  Light Side users have certain powers, Dark Side users have others.  And then there are some abilities that are so rare, it’s hard to say where they come from.  Those are the extremely talented few: I have a friend who can heal broken minds.  But I have no idea how to do such things.  I am just a better-than-average fighter.” You smiled wryly.  “But one of my teachers has a theory.  Jedi spend so long keeping out the Dark, that sometimes, if we lower our guards, if we make an emotional choice toward the Dark, suddenly we have opened ourselves up to an outpouring from it.  Some of us do not know how to cope and that system shock is too much too quickly, and then we swing to the opposite side.”  

“So maybe you should do a few bad things, to keep your mind safe,” Reaper said with a shrug.  “Easy enough.”  

You laughed.  “...maybe.  Or maybe that slow acceptance of corruption just makes it easier to fall.  That’s a high-risk theory for me to try to prove.”  

“So what is an example of how a Jedi falls?” Reaper asked.

You sat there, knowing it wasn’t any of his business, and that you were drinking too much.  But it was not a secret.  And he wasn’t actually asking about your past. “Say you go into battle, and you really hate the person you are fighting.  You have thought long and hard about how they need to die.  You know that it is against everything that your Order has taught you, and you don’t care.  They might want him as a useful prisoner, but even if he surrenders, you are going to kill him.  Or perhaps, you are going to disobey orders – you will pursue him off the battlefield, even if it means leaving your comrades or charges behind.  There are many ways.  But I think it comes down to, you will look at your choices, you will know that what you choose is wrong, and you will do it anyway.”  

Reaper snorted.  “That doesn’t sound evil: foolish and undisciplined maybe.  But killing certain enemies is sensible.”

“But if it throws off your sense of self…”  76 rubbed his chin.  

“That is a problem we do not have to deal with,” Reaper said, brow furrowed.  “Perhaps the cost of sorcery is too high.  Or perhaps Jedi are weak-minded.  Their strictures are too rigid; the conditions they set are unreasonable.”  

“This fear of attachment and strong emotion,” 76 mused.  “How are they as parents?”  

“...Jedi are good caretakers, but not good parents.  Because Jedi are not supposed to marry or have kids, so we usually recruit externally,” you said, trying not to think of Theron.  

Both men blinked.  “What?!”

“We’re warrior monks,” you muttered.  “Or supposed to be.  There are exceptions, but in general, marriage and other romantic attachments are not encouraged.”  

76 and Reaper exchanged meaningful glances.  

You could feel the judgment.  You finished your ale, suddenly wishing for more.  

“So no sex?” 76 asked, his eyes wide.

“...We’re not supposed to,” you said, looking at the table, suddenly embarrassed.  

There was a long moment of silence.  

“But you don’t always do what you’re supposed to, do you?” Reaper asked, his voice warm and amused.  

You bit your lip.  “That’s really not your business.”  

Reaper gave a low laugh.  “I didn’t think so.”  He tilted his head to the side, resting his chin in the palm of his hand.  “There’s no shame in indulging or abstaining.  But something tells me that you’re not the type to shrink away from a challenge.”  

You crossed your arms, staring hard at him.  Did he need another lesson in humility? “What are you trying to say, Reaper?”

“I’m saying, if you choose to indulge, we’re both interested,” he said plainly, and took another bite of his tiingilar. “And if you don’t, we respect that too.”  

You nearly choked on air.  

“But we’re a package deal,” 76 said, his expression uncharacteristically somber.  

“...Wait, are you married?” You asked, because it was easier than processing what Reaper had just offered.

“Promised,” Reaper said, giving 76 an appreciative smile. “But this one has fought at my side for years, and that matters more than any words spoken.”  

76’s cheeks burned pink.  He gave Reaper a warm look.  “Traditionally, we can just say the vows whenever: in person, over comlink, through letters, and it’s done. But our clan wants to be there to witness it and throw a big party, which isn’t exactly traditional – they usually can wait till afterward.”

“But certain clan-members are insisting that they should attend,” Reaper said.

“And if we didn’t make the allowance our sisters and the Captain would never forgive us,” 76 said with a sigh.  “You don’t cross the Captain.”

“And our sisters are unreasonable and very good with their flamethrowers,” Reaper said.  

“Oh,” you said, like it all made perfect sense.  They were about to be married, but they wanted to invite you to their beds?  How did that make any sense?  You groped for words. “That’s lovely.”  

“You could come too,” 76 said.  “There will be plenty of food.”  

“...Uh…” You blinked, not sure how to process the proposition, the wedding invitation, and the entire situation.  

“76 and I take pride in performing well, be it fighting, cooking, or other recreational activities,” Reaper said smoothly.  “If you’re concerned, we’d be happy to give a demonstration.”  He leaned over, one arm around 76’s shoulder.

76 nodded happily. “You can think of it as exercise or stress relief.”

“Or you can just watch, if you like, we don’t mind,” Reaper purred, stroking 76’s hair.  Those thick metal gauntlets tightened into a fist, pulling 76 closer.   Reaper leaned over, pressing a hard kiss to 76’s neck.  

The blonde man moaned.

But Reaper was watching you, those dark eyes glittering.  

“...I should go meditate,” you said, abruptly standing up and retreating from the room.

[raeynbowboi]

My Thoughts on KIPO

This post serves two purposes: first to give my thoughts on the third and final season of KIPO, and second to also address the show as a whole. Be advised, because this is the final season and the story is now over, I will be getting into MASSIVE spoiler territory. THIS IS YOUR FINAL SPOILER WARNING.

The Good

I am so happy they kept Dr. Emilia unredeemable, and in a good way. With shows like Naruto or Steven Universe where the MC has a weird knack for befriending the worst monsters in the universe, Kipo helps subvert this by doing with Dr. Emilia what SU should have done with White Diamond. They made her an antagonist the talk no jutsu MC couldn’t just reason with, showing that even non-violence can only take you so far. I like that Kipo still tried to give Dr. Emilia a chance, and her ultimate fate is largely her own fault, not something done to her by Kipo.

I liked how for the most part, no two antagonists were won over the same way. Zayne was won over by a legitimate friendship with Label. Haugh was won over by seeing his daughter dance with the Korean pop band narwhals, Daugh was won over by meeting the Korean Narwhal leadsinger and seeing all of the prisoners in Dr. Emilia’s lab. Even Greta was won over by Wolf just asking her “what do YOU want?” and letting her do it. And the rest were won over through PRAHM.

The solution to curing Kipo’s mother was a stroke of brilliance. I didn’t see it coming until seconds before they did it, and I loved it. Getting to see Kipo and her mom hug was just so wholesome it melted my frozen tiny little black heart.

Speaking of Song and Leo, they remained relevant! Look at that. A young character hero’s journey story where her parents remain important supporting cast characters through the whole thing.

Between seasons 2 and 3, they confirmed that Asher was non-binary, and I liked that we saw that in their hairstyle change for this season. I appreciate that the cut didn’t seem overly masculine or feminine.

Dave... actually earned my respect. Kinda. At least, it explained why he’s such a self-centered asshole in season 1. He’s used to being the leader. So that gave me some new respect for him.

I LOVE that Hugo was forced to see the ruins of Aurum and the self-reflection he shares with Wolf is just icing. Speaking of Hugo, his redemption is handled really nicely. The trial and error, the old habits that are hard for him to break, Kipo easily keeping him in line, and his slow work toward being a better mandrill. He felt like he was growing a lot.

When Wolf is deciding what to do about Margot, Kipo aggressively supports her, waiting for Wolf to ask her for help, and then decreeing that only Wolf has a right to decide how she wants to handle this situation. You go Kipo. Getcha woke on. Speaking of Margot.

The Bad

Margot might as well have not shown up. We learn nothing new about her, nothing new about Wolf, and then she just gets cured by Emilia so there’s never really a resolution to this character tension. I get the reason why, I just praised it in the above section, but this was still poorly handled in my opinion. Their just isn’t enough story payoff to bother dragging this out of the backstory.

Dave created Skyscraper Ridge.... for a battery-powered hand-held fan? Which survived for 200 years of battles between humans and mutes. Over a hand-held fan? Dave and Benson met... by fighting over a hand-held fan? I’m sorry but what the fuck? If you wanted me to take this seriously, you should have made it about something important. Now, I will give this some credit: Maybe Dave has dementia and is misremembering the item he’s talking about. Cuz Benson doesn’t know what he’s talking about at first. So maybe he’s using a toy fan in the place of the actual thing they were fighting over. 

Speaking of Benson... You don’t make a backstory episode that raises more questions! Why is Benson the last of his kind? What happened to his parents? Did Dave kill them? Cuz if he did, that’s seriously fucked up that Benson’s best friend killed his parents.

Song just kinda stopped being important once she was human huh? She spoke dubstep to the bees and got the death ivy wall put up, and then said she was going to work on a vaccine to the Cure... and then never finished it. Five years later, and Yumyan and all the others are still Cured. I get why this is, it’s so that there’s lasting consequences, which YES. Good on Kipo for not wimping out and pulling its punches, gimme them lasting consequences baby! I feed off it. But again, this leaves Song kind of … irrelevant.

So Kipo turns into a Mega Jaguar and she runs on all-fours (well... sixes), Song has the anatomy of a Mega Monkey... but Dr. Emilia’s Walrus form... has arms and legs? Sorry, that just kind of breaks the immersion for me. Two megas follow a consistent world building mechanic: you adopt the features of your mega animal... and Dr. Emilia just... doesn’t. No sir, I don’t like that.

Kaiju battles are kind of lame. There I said it. Come get me, Internet. I’m not apologizing. I don’t care much for great big things beating up other great big things. Now with a show and world like that of Kipo, I fully expected there’d be a Kaiju battle at some point, and with Kipo being a mega jaguar, I get why they went this route, but even so, Kaiju battles just aren’t my cup of tea.

Why did Hugo have to die? It kind of smelled of Redemption Equals Death, a wholly loathsome trope. He went through the best arc of all the characters, so let’s axe him off in the end. Sure, we lost other characters we cared about. Yumyan, Collette, Brad, but this was deliberately a noble sacrifice, and one he didn’t really have to make. He could have just jumped out of the car before it ran into Dr. Emilia. I don’t approve of killing off Hugo. That was not the right way to end his story.

Who is Wolf wearing? It’s never explained to us who this wolf was to her. It’s just a wolf. But this wolf was a person. And now she’s wearing its skin.

The Meh

So Jamack is here. That’s pretty much it. He finished his character arc when he joined Puck’s minstrel show and now he’s all smiles and buddy buddy and there’s not much else to say about him. I’m glad he was part of the final battle against Dr. Emilia, but by season 3, Jamack is just another ally. There’s no more of that redemption arc, which makes it feel slightly flat. For what we got, his redemption arc was alright, but the vast majority of it happens off screen, so unlike Hugo, it just doesn’t have that satisfying crunch.

So, ever since Mullholland, I’ve been under the impression that Wolf likes Kipo. Then with Kipo at the PRAHM very verbally saying she wishes Wolf was there, I thought maybe they were a ship? In the end, they verbalize having a sister-like relationship, which I totally get. I’m fine with it. That’s why it’s in the Meh section, not the bad stuff. But if they wanted to hammer home the sisters angle, having a character at a dance wishing the other was there doesn’t exactly send sibling energy.

I kind of wish we got to see how the first burrows got formed following the appearance of mutes. That would have been a nice thing to learn.

Final Thoughts

This show is probably in my top 10 cartoons of all time. It’s funny, colorful, the music is amazing, the characters are great, the villains steal the show, and it’s a good story. Is racism solved a little easily? Maybe, but A. it’s a kid’s show, and B. it’s kind of the whole point of the show. Unlike say Star Vs where it was a show about a princess who doesn’t want to be queen ohandalsomonsteracismiguess, this show’s core focus was on prejudice and racism. That was the forefront topic of the show. So, I’d say it sends an important lesson. I’d even go so far as to say it may be this generation’s Avatar. Is it as good as Avatar: the Last Airbender? Mmm no. But it’s damn good. Even with it’s flaws. I’d probably rate it about an 8.5 out of 10. So about a B+. Which is still really good. Does it have a few problems? Yes. Most shows do. It’s not perfect. But at the end of the day, it’s still a good show, and it has a LOT of rewatch potential, which is good for any show.