#now pls understand you dont gotta send me anything

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

anything you want for Christmas??

It's so funny you mention that- ive been using this new thing called throne! It's where you can buy from someone's wishlist for them! I use it for me and cookie, I can drop a link down here if you feel like sending any cheer my way!

[sanchoyo]

i promise i will read the manga!! but um. well. now i’m just so curious i gotta know. just how blorbo can cara go. i wanna take a graceful step backwards and head-first into the rabbit hole. please i gotta know

- saguaro anon pt 2

(i promise it’s me again i swearzit. not that it isn’t easy to lie of course i just think that’d be the funniest thing in the world. there can only be ONE saguaro liker everyone pass the original anon message around the circle if you’d like a turn with the saguaro anon.)

(speaking of i’m chewing on the art of them. i love them so bad they make me wanna draw swords. obsessed also with the dichotomy of physical/spiritual prowess that contradicts a more common “pacifist priest” archetype through swords. still a very graceful way to slay but between that strength/faith dichotomy and their dichotomy with the queen’s science... it’s so evocative of a righteous paladin. but they are also so eepy.)

not u sending this right after I sent a friend a 10000+ word essay to a friend on discord abt cara. pls. the timing is incredible im bouncing cara around in my brain…

SAGUARO ANON!!! HI!!! (wait thats cute. naming urself as an enjoyer of them. my heart will explode fr thank u sm for enjoying my ocs ;_; u are the champion liker of them….this is ur burden to bear)

I mean, don't feel obligated to read the manga/watch the show(s)(either of them! still so happy we got a reboot 20 years after the original…) its just. would fill on context for Some Things (also is a gateway into magical girls if ur not already into them) and I always take a chance to rec it. but..I do try to make things understandable w/out it? I hope?

Cara…im trying to think of what I can say publicly abt her without spoiling her whole story. (I plan to probably make it a novel-sized fanfic and...with 2-3 illus per chapter…it works better as a comic, but the energy to do it + how little reception I got when I tried it…TwT </3) this got. erm. long. so under the cut? I dont THINK anything is TOO spoilery, but if anyone wants to wait until the story is actually being written, maybe skip this one :3c

ok so. my sweet caroline (ba ba ba) 'cara' testout-seebauer, (god what a good name)...… she's like. my wildcard character. full of surprises. full of anxiety. as someone who is also full of anxiety I can say sometimes getting too anxious makes people lash out, seem irritable. get this girl some noise-cancelling headphones tbh. she's also quiet, which, people around her misinterpret as 'oh shes brooding and mysterious' but she's 15. she's the Most 15 Year Old, and all that entails.

She, uh…let me just say she is about as aware as magical girl tropes as Mira is. she makes a point to declare herself as the 'dark magical girl rival' to Mira's heroine persona. which is totally a Normal Thing for anyone with Normal Motivations to say, obviously. (mira aggressively turns a blind eye to how absolutely weird that is because it fits with what she also wants, but other characters are even like, hey thats..questionable? why is a human working with the Aliens Who Want All Humans Dead?? you might ASSUME tragic backstory, but I Love Subverting Expectations. she has a pretty good family life!) she's not as much as an edgelord as this type of character should be in theory, but she IS dramatic 🤔

she's actually somewhat naive and makes the worlds most questionable judgement calls and has the worst sense of who to trust. she's a nerd. she speaks like 4 languages because she was moved around a lot up until she was about 13 and has lived in a handful of countries (if you ask her, she'd say shes american bc thats where shes lived the longest, but her dad is half british half japanese raised in japan and left when he was 18 for america, and her mother is afro-latina american. she strongly takes after her mom in looks but got her dads hair texture :> )

it's a running gag that she knows how to do an improbable amount of things and she always brushes this off her parents were very indulgent and she had a hard time sticking to anything. why does she know origami and karate and how to make balloon animals and ballet and sword fighting and art?? oh but she can only do the very basics of any of the various things, she's not like, outstanding at very many things admittedly and cannot commit to anything. she has...approximate knowledge of many things...It must be said, for the majority of the alien ocs I have...shes the first human theyve met. so u can imagine this gives them very skewed idea of how many things humans can do...

a lot of the characters n plots in tm2 are things I think were tragically underused and under-explored in tmm. in particular the things about her that I draw from are largely things from tokyo mew mew a la mode. (which as of now is free to read on archive.org and is only two volumes!! its the sequel to tmm ^_^...) anyway regarding that...there's a hint in her full name no one as picked up on yet and I shant say more on that. (...do people not pick up on certain naming schemes in tmm aside from the girls having food names? I dont know. this is one of those 'would only pick up on it if ur familiar w tmm things but! I dont even think ppl who HAVE read it have noticed yet.. tbf I only revealed her full name last year I think!)

all of the girls have symbolism with the animal dna they're infused with. cara's a snake. which is such a double sided thing. a lot of people are scared of snakes, lots of imagery of being two-faced or deceitful BUT also, like, 'transformations/rebirth' (shedding of the snake skin) and the caduceus!!! (hermes association, loosely :)) fun. her weapon being a shield + gramophone combo thing now reflects a lot about her too :)

shes SHORT. shes freckled. she cuts her own hair. shes objectively just really funny in a messed up way because everything is extreme when ur 15, its seriously so. just. shes so so so dramatic and gay, my god. its painful to watch. its painful to WRITE. rancid at just COMMUNICATING. she doesnt necessarily even want to be a magical girl its rotten work but my god she'll do it she DOES like the genre but she is so so scared and would probably rather NOT be doing more than like, cosplay. fighting things or people = scary. anxiety is real. but here she is! for some ungodly reason! eeey exposure therapy amiright fellow anxiety sufferers. queen put her and sapote together because sapote was the only alien whod volunteer to get infused and become a mew mew lol sapote is outgoing and queen figured this would offset cara's...*vaguely gestures* everything pretty well. and that sapote would be able to sus out anything cara might be hiding. queen knows sapote's smarter than expected and trusts her a lot cara and sapote are SUCH a funny duo 😭

cara is like. she has problems. and instead of solving them in any rational way she ends up creating 15 more severe problems about it. pitiful little meow meow mew mew

also I'm glad u enjoyed the lil doodle of them, had to toss them in after ur nice message :) (+I will take any excuse to draw or talk abt my ocs r u kidding. i love them)

replying to the very last bit of ur message abt our friend saguaro: WAAAA THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT THEY MAKE U WANNA DRAW SWORDS!! (do it. swords are fun to draw) u hit the nail on the head with: 'the dichotomy of physical/spiritual prowess that contradicts a more common “pacifist priest” archetype through swords. still a very graceful way to slay but between that strength/faith dichotomy and their dichotomy with the queen’s science… it’s so evocative of a righteous paladin.' the. understanding. the analysis. u are so correct. holding ur hand about this. thank u. thank u.

since u arent a tmm watcher/reader. I have to tell you. deep blue, their god? is the main final bad guy in tmm. we have SO SO SO little info about him. I had to make up so many stupid little headcanons surrounding him + the religion and what would possibly happen post-canon. which is only vaguely tangentially related but I have Many Thoughts. he uses a sword, so of course saguaro would Want To as well! and as far as 'gods' go, deep blue is. hm. a violent one. saguaro is incredibly nice! but is still a devout cult member follower of a violent god who they WILL spill blood in the name of. they WILL tell queen to her face that no, she should NOT be the leader, that should be someone who follows deep blue-sama! and they are only following her for a good view from the top to spot carry out his will, because surely deep blue guided them to be so skillful for a REASON, they MUST be useful to him when he finally reappears! and there is NO room for doubt in their mind he WILL. (jaws theme ominously plays in the distance)

queen and saguaro are both ppl who pride themselves on being civil and well-mannered, so you can imagine the sheer passive-aggressiveness in their convos. they're useful, they're probably the BEST swordsmaster, and they've proven to be very diplomatic and can bridge the gap queen sorely needs to with the other straggling deep blue followers, and queen isn't one to throw away a pawn, so she ultimately sees it as putting up with an annoyance for the greater good. (its not like deep blue could possibly return or anything! jaws theme sounds louder and closer)

everyone else in queens little upper posse thinks theyre super weird. …except cara! (we've come full circle!) because shes human! and! has no frame of reference! for deep blue related things! (well…at least, not in the way everyone else would've) shes dealt with like, mormons or thse door to door religious ppl, to her its like. whatever. same difference. saguaro isnt mean to her solely because shes a human like SOME people in queen's upper circle are. in fact, they're really actually very nice to her! and hey, she likes swords! and they have a calming presence, which is GREAT when u are a little shaky chihuahua abt everything.

I have this scene planned out where cara wakes up from a nightmare SCREAMING, sapote's room is right beside her and hey thats her little buddy so ofc she runs in. but cara wont talk to her, and sapote is like. kid I Am Not Leaving You Alone rn I Am Vaguely Worried and you need someone Adult Shaped to talk to. so caras like. whatever get saguaro then. and sapote is BAFFLED, but it makes perfect sense. because unlike sapote, they won't badger her or try and get her to spill anything, they won't try forcing her into a hug, if she asks them to just talk and distract, they're happy to. they aren't going to go spill her secrets and they CERTAINLY wont rat her out for saying anything untowardly about queen.

sapote accuses them of trying to yank cara into their little cult over this of course. kadskj

oops. thats a very long ramble about nothing very clear. I'm trying to be GOOD about not spoiling my own darn story, but the temptation to talk about it is so strong. I'm always super happy to share stuff on it and when ppl show interest it makes my heart explode. thank uuuu so much again TwT

[sailorhyunjinz]

SAW THAT DRUNK FLUFFY HEADCANNON. NOW DO A ANGST SMUT VERSION OF IT OR WHATEVER SIS. LEZ GET ETTTT SKRRTSKRTTTTT

Please. 🥺

LEZ GET IIIIIIIIIIT SKRTSKRT (I CANT)

some of these are both smut/angst and others only smut or only angst OK? ok

SMUT AND ANGST VERSION WOOP now we’re talking bby

warning; SMUT/ANGST. gn!reader x skz. subxdom, use of alcohol, sex under influence, minor injuries, penetrative sex, degradation, punishment, nicknames, choking, mentions of blood, slight dacryphilia, mentions of tobacco

Bangchan

he’s more pouty but seeing you with scraped knees makes him mad

mad because he cares so much about you 

“y/n you’re being stupid”

you fall into his arms, just as mad back at it

“if im so stupid then leave” 

he looks at you, dumbfounded but then mad

“fine, then i’ll leave” he says, clearly hurt by your words but holding tightly to his pride, storming off.

as the door closes you panic, feeling lonely and paranoid at the same time

you never really being good with alcohol anyways

so him leaving you in this vulnerable state made you feel,,, bad :((

you run after him and eventually catch up 

right as you get to him you stumble, scraping your knee and your hand

he turned around quickly, filled with worry but also pure rage

“you’re so stupid y/n” he says leaning down and looking you into your glossy eyes

“h-help me channie” you say, your voice frail

he sighes, picking you up and the two of you going back home

Minho

be scared be real fucking scared

you aint walking for a week nuh uh

fucks you DEEP 

deeper than ever

boy is mad as fuck, he just lashes out on you for being so stupid as to walk home alone in the middle of the night. 

he complains and scolds you whilst he’s railing you oop

“fucking stupid, walking like that all alone”

you are practically crying underneath him, not sure if it’s from him scolding you or from how DEEP this man goes 

pounding some sense into you LMAO

lots of choking OOF

denying your orgasm until you’re crying

“yeah thats right, cry for me” (lmao cue twice)

NAH BUT A SWEETHEART AFTERWARDS I PROMISE 

Changbin

“what if you get injured y/n?” he says, holding your hand on your way home

“i didn’t!” you say confidently 

“then whats that?” he says, pointing at your bleeding knees

“n-nothing” you say, limping forward

“should listen to me more” he says quickly, puffing his cheeks in frustration

“i do listen, just,,, just let me have f-fun!” your head spinning. 

“but thats not having fun y/n, thats called being stupid and destroying your health” he spits on the ground

“alright then let me, not like it’s affecting you in any way” you slur out, changbin looking at you through hooded eyes as he exhales loudly

“maybe if you’d stop being drunk all the time you’d actually see how it is effecting me” he says, letting go of your hand causing you to stumble over your own legs

you hit the cold concrete in the dark as he walks home

“come back when you’ve thought about your actions”

Hyunjin

he paces back and forward in the hallway, waiting for you

the door creaks open and you, looking like a mess, appear infront of him

“where were you? i was worried sick y/n! you cant just do-”

“shush,,, i want a,, a hug” you stammer out, getting closer to him and smelling of cigarettes and alcohol

he pushes you away, glaring at you through dark eyes

“do you even care about me?” 

you tilt your head, feeling more unstable for every second that goes by. 

“of course hyunnie!” you smile lazily at him 

but he’s not buying any of it

i feel like he holds grudges for a long time??? idk just me??

“i’ll sleep on the couch, dont come close to me”

bruh his voice and tone is so cold, it send shivers down your spine

you nod, tears bubbling up in the corners of your eyes. 

Jisung

“im not helping you!” jisung says, you rubbing your thighs together, always feeling needy when drunk

“pl-please sungie, i-i wont drink ever again i-if you help,,, me”

he cocks his eyebrow at you, licking the inside of his cheek

“mhm.. you think im stupid enough to fall for that? what do you really think of me babygirl/babyboy”

you scratch the back of your head, not knowing what to answer

“y-you fell for it last time~”

he scoffs, pissed at the fact that you came stumbling through the door in the middle of the night

him waiting for you and being filled sick with worry

he leans closer to your ear, feeling the smell of liquor 

“why should i help you? sluts like you dont deserve me”

you whine at his words, not helping with your neediness

“please,, jisung i,, just help me!” you were started to get pouty to which he chuckles

“beg nicely”

Felix

“where were you”

his voice is like LOW low

he sits with his legs spread apart

bruh his gaze?!??”! its like black, just blank

you try to ignore him, shuffling around awkwardly but only stumbling from being drunk

“sit” he pats his lap you gulp, having no other choice but to listen

you sit down on his lap

your eyes are running all over the room, looking everywhere but at felix

“was my slut out drinking?” 

BRUH YOU JUST STARE AT HIM

he only says that when he’s mad, ONLY

so now you’re scared but you nod, barely having your eyes open

he hums, his voice vibrating through your ears

“you agree, you’re a slut?”

you nod again and before you know it theres a hand wrapped around your throat, pushing on the sides and making you feel even more lightheaded. 

his mouth gets close to your ear

his warm breath desending down your cheek

“dont make me do this kitten”

Seungmin

frustrated 

he gets a call from one of your friends that tell you that you’re passed out on the street

he picks you up, you barely standing on your own two legs and the entire way home he didnt say a word

as soon as the door to your home closes he starts yelling at you

“dont you have any thoughts in that dumb head of yours?”

you start tearing up from his loud and stern voice, leaning against a wall. 

“i-im sorry minnie” 

that being the only sentence he understood, the rest sounding more like blabbering

“are you really sorry y/n, are you??!”

“y-yes,,, just tired~”

without saying anything more he grabs his jacket and leaves

slamming the door behind him

at first you dont understand but then the silence takes over, leaving you wrapped with a lonely blanket as tranquility

“m-minnie?” you call out as if he was still there but being met by nothing but pure silence

you slide down against the wall, crying as seungmin peeks through the door, feeling bad for making you cry 

Jeongin

“enough”

he grabs the bottle from your hand, placing it beside him as the two of you were drinking at home. 

“but whyyy?~ we were just getting started innie~”

he looks at you with a puzzled expression

your cheeks flaming hot and your eyes drooping down

“cant you just stop y/n?”

you meet his brown eyes, not understanding what he meant

“hm? whatchu mean~?

he sighs loudly, seeing you roll around on the floor

“why can’t you just control yourself? why do i always have to take care of you?”

you laugh, your thoughts gone with the wind

“thats funny innie!”

poor boy gets frustrated and lays down, hovering above you

“is it funny if i do this?”

he kisses you, slowly trailing his fingertips downwards

OK I HAVE ONE REQUEST LEFT IN MY INBOX SO GOTTA DO THAT!! and after that im gonna start posting/working more on fics even though... i feel shit about writing fics because they never turn out that good huh.... AH WELL at least im trying T-T 

hard/soft thoughts are always welcome ><

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Aftermath)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is about 17 or 18; i cried while writing this. sorry this is really long!!! pls forgive me 🥺

prompt: takes place from a3 to smffh

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) Continued (5)

let’s start on a happy note! ahahah

so for a while, earth was calm

you, pepper, and tony got to be a family for a while

wedding planning!

of course you got to try the ben&jerry’s ice cream named after your dad: Stark Raving Hazelnuts

“it’s not fair that you got ice cream named after you and i didn’t”

“well, when you grow up to be as awesome as me, maybe you’ll get your own ice cream flavor”

developing nanotech suits together for a Bonding Experience(tm)

speechless after the first test

“dad, this is...”

“the coolest thing to ever exist?”

“yes!!”

yall ready for some shit?

the day that ebony maw invaded was pretty—what’s the word? interesting? no. well, yes, but...HORRIBLE.

it all started when you got the call from your dad

“y/n, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“god, i really have to change that. okay, JOSHIE, answer it. hey, dad? what’s up?”

“hey, kid! you know that weird ass building on bleecker street? how fast can you get here?”

“JOSH can you track FRIDAY really quick? lets see how far dad is...uh, okay, be there in five, see ya”

taking your suit for a spin and realizing how GREAT it was to be able to basically fold up your suit and put it in your back pocket

knocking on the door and it opened on its own, it was kinda cool

“is this a museum? cool.”

bruce turning around to see you after about three years and giving you an awkward smile and a wave while you stood frozen around the wizard-guys

“y/n, god, you’ve grown up!”

charging into him for a long overdue hug

“you don’t know how much i missed you. it’s been chaotic without you”

“i can...i can only imagine”

a debriefing on the situation you were about to face, and bonus! having to play the catch-up game with bruce

“just call him, dad. we need as much help as we can. steve will understand”

rushing outside to face off with some ugly-ass aliens

“oh nooo, it’s roger smith from american dad”

bruce: 👀, stephen: 👀, wong: 👀, tony: 👏👏🥰 that’s my girl

simultaneous nanosuit unveiling

“you ready for this one, pops?”

“of course! ive waited years to kick some more alien ass”

montage of you and tony getting your asses beat together (as a family <3)

peter showing up

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t send you back to that school bus”

“because i’m good company?”

“whatever, just listen to whatever dad has to say, i forfeit my responsibilities over you”

pew pew, repulsors, pew, tiny rockets! fun! action! destroying new york again and again. good times...

until JOSHUA gave you notice that your dad was flying high

“call him. now.”

“hey! how’s it going down there?”

“dad, you know how i feel about you and space”

“i know, i know. i just...i gotta take care of this. keep pepper safe for your old man, okay?”

“i lo—l—ve y—”

“y/n? y/n?! i love you! shit!”

“we lost connection with her, sir”

trying to call peter

“call failed, y/n. should i try again?”

“i’m gonna kill them...”

walking through the rubble to find bruce, the only sensible man you know

taking him to the avengers compound asap to get to rhodey and figure out what comes next

meanwhile, tony was dealing with space and another teenager

and worrying a lot about leaving you on earth

“i mean, mr. stark, y/n’s one of the most capable people i know. she’s probably trying to fix this whole mess as we speak”

“i didn’t get to tell her i love her”

“oh...”

having a lovely meeting with thaddeus ross with rhodey, having a lovely time watching them passive-aggresively argue until your former teammates arrived

having to patiently (and professionally) wait for ross to hang up before running into them for a hug

“holy shit, you guys have no idea how bad i’ve wanted to see you. it sucks not being all together anymore”

“i know, y/n. we’ve all missed you.” -cap

“a lot” -nat added

bruce’s little entrance that was sure to bring some awkwardness

you, secretly freaking out about your dad

sam was the one that found you crying after you “stepped out” for a few minutes too long

“oh, y/n,” he was contemplating grabbing someone else to step in, but decided to sit next to you in the hallway, “i’m sorry, kiddo. i can’t promise you anything, but your dad is a fighter. a big pain in the ass. i think your odds are good”

laughing through your tears

“yeah, you’re right. thanks, sammy”

he gave you a little hug while you calmed down

getting to business, the ass-kicking kind

as the wise natasha romanoff once said to your father, you were being “uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal”

your mind did this funny thing...wandered into places it really should not go

the talk about sacrificing vision led to wakanda, where you had a swell time patrolling

“guys! we’ve got incoming. a lot of incoming”

well-deserved uncle/niece team up. who wouldve thought?

you would have nightmares about these aliens for years to come

“you get to die, and you get to die! everybody gets to die!”

“y/n, what did we talk about?” -rhodey

“using humor as a defense mechanism makes the team uncomfortable...”

covering the girls 😌 because we gotta have those all-girl teamups, uh-huh?

some more blasting

thor made his comeback and you just could not miss it

“hi, thor!”

you landed next to him and your helmet receded

“well, hello, miss y/n! good to see you again! my, you got taller...oh! meet my friends: rabbit and tree”

having a “what the actual fuck” moment upon seeing thanos for the first time

and flying at him from behind with a massive nanotech blade ready to kill this purple bastard

but he grabbed your arm and flung you into the dirt, that was gonna leave a mark

“i just had to make a suit when i was ten...no one stopped me, huh? i couldn’t be elon’s kid, he was a nice guy”

watching thanos snap his fingers and looking around to see dust floating through the air and thanos retreat

“rhodey? uncle rhodey?!”

“i’m right here, kid, don’t worry”

he grabbed your hand while you were dusting

“tell my dad i love him, promise?”

fading away and leaving rhodey with your last words

he was mad before anything else

all he could think about was a promise your dad made him take years back

“rhodey, you keep my daughter safe no matter what, promise?”

the avengers recooperating at the compound, waiting to figure out whether any of the space-crew survived

they had to let pepper know that you didn’t make it, she was a mess upon hearing that news

tony finally making his way back to earth

and stumbling out of that ship

“where’s y/n? where is she?!”

“tony, tony, calm down”

“dont tell me to calm down! where is my daughter?!”

“she made me promise to tell you thay she loves you”

tony knew the answer by now, he lost his mind over your death

it didn’t feel right not having you by his side, for the past 18 years you’ve been with him

after a long period of recovery, tony and pepper moved on, got married, built a home, had a new daughter...

tony made sure there was a spare room for you

he put all the things you left behind in it

there were so many photos of you in the house

and he’d show your sister, morgan, all of them. he wanted morgan to know her sister

“that’s y/n when she built her first robot. it snuck up on me a few times. it went ‘boo!’”

morgan loved the stories about you, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see you

“when do i get to meet her?”

“uh...maybe someday, sweetie”

after being unbothered for almost 5 years, the remaining avengers came back with a plan that was so tempting, he just wanted his little girl back

cracking under pressure and telling pepper that he couldn’t ignore this mission because it was his chance to get you back

“get her back, tony”

“you think so?”

“i miss her, too.”

and so it began, he made it his mission to get you back

peeking at the wallet picture of you on his shoulders when you were so little

tony travelling to 2012; loki’s invasion

and there you were, the sassy genius 12 year old that he missed so much

“we’ve got this, tony, we’ll bring her home” -scott

and then things went badly and also 2012 tony went into cardiac arrest and 2012 y/n dove onto the floor to tend to him

“dad? give us some room, would you?!”

2023 tony smiling at how much he missed you worrying about him and how reckless he was

but also...the mission kinda went bad so that sucked

push it a bit farther back and now tony was with grandpa stark! asking how to be a dad and all that!

he could barely stand still waiting for you to come back to him, god he missed you more than he thought

and after a bit of hard work, it was time to snap

just like that, you were back in wakanda, puzzled by the gap in time before one of dr. strange’s portals opened in front of you

and then you were in the ruins of the avengers compound

“JOSHUA, can you locate my dad?”

“i think you’ll be able to see him”

“wow, i cant believe i programmed your cocky artificial ass”

“i think you can”

seeing your dad flying high and patching into the comms

“miss me, old man?”

and then he hit the gas to get to you and when this man hugged you, you almost couldn’t let go

“i’m so sorry, y/n. god, i’m sorry. these last five years...i was so lost without you”

“it’s okay, dad, i’m here now”

getting shot at during your reunion

“son of a bitch...we’re having a family moment here, asshole!”

yes, im gonna say it again. of course i am! and.........father/daugher team-up

the last one

“peter, is that you? you asshole! i cant believe you went to space without me!”

“missed you too!”

rhodey!! cant forget about uncle rhodey!!

“you gave my dad the message, right?”

“it was your dying wish, of course i did!”

“great. don’t forget i love you, too, rhodey!”

“couldn’t let me forget it”

lest we forget that pepper joined the fight?

plot twist: (step)mother/daughter team-up

mother/father/daugher team up!!!! ultimate stark machine!!!!!!!

and then you left him alone for 5 minutes and he’s got the infinity stones and you know it’s the last time you’re going to see him and you cant decide what your next move is and you’re just frozen and you cant catch your breath and he snaps and your heart plummets

you have to rush to his side, the last time you can sit beside his tired body and let him know that its going to be okay

“hey dad, it’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. thank you for everything”

peter grabbing your hand as you both sobbed next to your dad, feeling robbed of your time with him

pepper brought you home where she told you all about the five years you missed

both of you just cried harder than you’ve ever cried before

“so i have a sister?”

morgan was so happy to meet you, she couldn’t contain herself, practically latched onto you

and she didn’t fully understand what happened to tony

you saw your new room for the first time and didn’t leave it for a while, occasionally pepper or morgan would pop in

morgan actually crawled into bed with you a few times

the funeral was one of the worst days of your life

the remnants of your young life pulled back together for one day

then you hid back in your room before you heard a knock

“who is it?”

“it’s happy”

“come in”

“hey, kiddo. me and morgan are gonna get some cheeseburgers, you wanna come?”

she really was a stark

after a long hibernation, you started to get back into the groove of your old life

but the press was brutal and harsh, you were bombarded with questions regarding your dad

it took everything not to explode on camera

you stayed in contact with the rest of the avengers, mourning your dead, keeping the support system, staying a family

it was all you could get...for now

[bisexualoftheblade-old]

how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast 

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang​

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang​

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

[strxnged]

I MEAN I JUST DONT WANNA BOTHER YOU AT LIKE RANDOM HOURS OF THE DAY. LIKE KT DOESNT SEEM FAIR

I’ll just try and cram as many questions as I can here-

Do you get good grades or bad grades? Like do you gotta study? If yea is it hard??

WHATS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR

FAVORITE PLACE TO HANGOUT??

How observant would you say you are??

Favorite gifts to receive??

Any nicknames for Tanaka?? Friendly or not? Like in a teasing way or endearing

Are you an extrovert. I feel like you are but I have to check-

Favorite food and/or drink?

Idk how much info I’m gonna need sorry for all the questions (there might be more) I’m not much of a planner when I write so it’ll be a surprise what I do-

HDFNJSDNF THESE ARE ALL VERY NICE QUESTIONS AND NO YOU ARE NOT BOTHERING ME PLS IM I FEEL SO FLATTERED YOU WANNA ASK THESETHINGS WHY ARE MY HANDS SHAKING CALM DONW

good grades, i'd say. i'm a tryhard. i always work my hardest. i haven't gotten a B since Grade 6. and yeees i do study in subjects where study material is actually provided or i find that i don't understand it otherwise, you'll definitely see me sitting at my desk with a binder or textbook on my lap with loud music blasting from my laptop. BUT YEAH IT'S HARD??? I CAN'T FOCUS VERY WELL DUDE

MY FAVOURITE COLOUR CHANGES SO OFTEN BUT I REALLY LIKE GREEN RIGHT NOW IN CASE THAT'S NOT OBVIOUS. ALSO ORANGE AND PURPLE. secondary colours 🤤🤤🤤 BUT ALSO NEUTRAL COLOURS?? OR JUST NICE COLOUR PALETTES?? OR JUST WHEN COLOURS

WHEN THEY. WHEN COLOURS.

FAVOURITE PLACE TO HANG OUT?? NOT IN A CROWD S'IL VOUS PLAIT but i do like being around people i'm comfy with, yk, vcs, going on walks, texting, and BRO if i lived in a different place you bet i would be the kind of person to meet people at a park DSKHA

i'd say i'm fairly observant? i'm not clueless, i am pretty good at evaluating my environment while keeping in mind that if i'm in a new space it's okay to not understand everything at first? i can tell a lot about a person from the way they talk and i'm very interested in psychology (i also overanalyze a lot -- you get that andjksna)

FAVOURITE GIFTS TO RECIEVE??? OKAY WELL I DISCOVERED YESTERDAY THAT THE BEST THING EVER IS JUST GENUINE AFFECTION. PEOPLE CHOOSING TO SPEAK IN THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE. people who offer to help out because they want to, people who send long ass paragraphs of encouragement because they wanna express their love and support, people who pay attention to interests so that they can give a gift that's just right aND that they enjoy coming up with. people who just wanna be around the person they love because they appreciate them. i just think it's neat.

nicknames for TANAKA stop i would call him absolutely anything UM BUT YEAH I WOULD GENUINELY CALL HIM "DUDE" A LOT AND IF HE SPOKE TO ME IN THE SAME WAY I WOULD DIE/pos 😍 being comfortable enough with your girlfriend to call her "bro" is SEXY AF so yeah nothing super special 'xcept for maybe "lovey" TEEHEE BYE also no matter how bad the nickname may sound it will be endearing

UHHH i'm an ambivert OR a people-loving introvert. i would DIE without people but they exhaust me easily because it's just so much work to converse with ppl 'n' stuff. but i love listening. people are NEAT.

FAVOURITE FOOD OR DRINK? ANYTHING WITH FRUITS N VEGETABLES IS NICE LIKE I'M A SUCKER FOR SALADS OR SANDWICHES ANDDDD also that leads me to my bread obsession *clears throat* um yeah i was never in a bread cult. not even once.

GN I FEEL LIKE I SAID TOO MUCH BUT I FEEL SAFE ON THIS BLOG TO TALK AWHILE BECAUSE IT'S MY PERSONAL SAFE SPACE. also that's why i probably come across as extroverted? because i'm comfortable here? and when i'm comfortable i can be LOUD and VERY ANNOYING DSHKFLHD

[elysicndrcvm]

━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 

[kyovtani]

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset! 

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!! 

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!! 

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH 

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah 

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it! 

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM 

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it! 

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH 

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side  😌

[babygirlwolverine]

hi Sophie ♡ I made time to send you this because you had your exam and your surgery today. I hope it went awesome, sorry to hear that surgery didn't go quite as expected because of what happened to teddy but I'm sure you did awesome anyways.

now to answer...

oh my sweet Sophie, pls don't apologize for taking your time to answer. I work, study and try to be here for most spn news, i get it and you're working in becoming an amazing vet and you write beautiful stories and manage to even do events like the one for your milestone, so don't worry ❤ that being said... my heart skipped a beat when I saw your answer and I was eager to send you this too

I'm 100% in with cinnamon and apple!

I adore Rapunzel! Tangled was awesome and I love the song I see the light. It's just one of thee best scenes ever with all the lanterns (can we have lanterns???).

Yes to mountains, it'll be the perfect view, specially in autumn.

Your writing is perfection, I know I'm only one person and is not much but I love it ❤ and I know I'm not the only one, people just tend to love what you write.

I think I won't stop blushing for the rest of the month after you called me your fiancé ajsndjdks 🥰 I'm melting over this, your vows probably will end me.

Now music. I listen to almost all music. I'm more a soft songs girl but I listen to almost everything. Being able to do that made me discover some beautiful songs from small artists. Sleeping At Last is my favorite artist right now. I love Ed Sheeran and JB too. My favorite song from Ed is Perfect and from JB is Hesitate, makes me weep everytime. Just the I'll thank the oceans for giving me you and then is the all I won't hesitate for you, like is everything. I really love love songs. Oh I love Taylor Swift too.

I had an stressful weekend and week but it's ok, thank you.

I hope you get to rest a little bit this weekend

ly💍🌷💜

hello my sweet darling angel <33 my sincerest apologies that it’s taken me so long to reply to this message! thank you so much for sending this message to me when i had my exam and surgery (funny thing was i literally got the message from you as i was leaving the clinic after surgery and i was exhausted and then i saw your message and i couldn’t stop smiling and i sat in my car and read your entire message before i drove home hehe <3) that exam did go well (i got an 80% on it) and lucky the surgery went well too despite the last minute change in patient. I did get to help out a little during the procedure which was awesome. Our next surgery is this upcoming Thursday and I’m going to be the anesthesiologist (lots of pressure) but I’m excited!

yesssss, answer time hehe!

oh my sweetiepie! I really am so sorry it takes me so long to answer sometimes, but i really appreciate that you’re so understanding of everything i’m balancing! also can i just say how amazing you are with balancing working, studying, and being online for a majority of the spn news, like holy hell you’re a superhero for managing to keep on top of all those things. you thinking I’m gonna be an amazing vet has got me crying omg thank you so much! gosh, i dont think my stories are that good, but hearing you say they’re beautiful makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. awww shucks, thank you for liking the event i hosted for my milestone. I just wanted people to feel included and to share that special feeling with other amazing people in the fandom. ❤️ wait wait omg i made your heart skip a beat??? that’s literally so precious i want to wrap you up in warm blankets!

yessss im so happy you agree with cinnamon and apple scents for our wedding! gotta bring in those lovely rich and comforting smells!

omg i may have just giggled with happiness over you saying you love rapunzel! that’s my favorite song in the film omg that whole scene with the lanterns and the way her and eugene sneak glances at each other because they’re falling in love is so soft. (OHMYGOD yes yes yes we can have lanterns at our wedding i swear i literally just went 🥺🥺🥺 at your adorable idea!)

ooooh yay, I’m so glad you like the idea of mountains for the wedding. you’re so right the view will be perfect in autumn with all the changing leaves!

you’ve just made me blush for the hundredth time by calling my writing perfection. Trust me, coming from you, that literally means everything. Gosh, i dont know how i got so lucky to have people who love what i write. I just never thought my writing would connect with people, and to know it brought us together, that’s like a dream come true ❤️

ajdflkjadfkjssa I MADE YOU BLUSH!!! you’d better get used to it because I’m loudly proclaiming you’re my fiancé to anyone and everyone heheh! okay but literally every time i think ’you cant get any cuter’ you literally get CUTER and I cannot handle it! you melting? precious. knowing my vows will mean so much to you? adorable. your reactions? lovable. your sweetness? perfection.

oh yay, I’m so glad you’re so open to music of lots of genres. soft songs are my weakness. just another thing we have in common <3 I’d love to hear some of your favorite small artists so that i can listen to them too. I’m going to search Sleeping At Last as soon as my exam is over on Tuesday! <3 omg I’m so glad to have found someone else who also loves Ed and JB! omg Perfect is an amazing wedding song hehe. also omg Hesitate is literally one of my absolute favorites (I cried when they played it live on the HB tour before covid)! You plucked out my favorite lyrics I’m gonna sob omg i literally tear up every time I hear joe sing “i thank the oceans for giving me you, you saved me once and now i’ll save you too” because that’s the kind of love i want 🥺❤️ love songs are my favorite they’re just so pure and honest and raw, like you can actually feel the love in every single word in the song. I’m not much of a taylor fan, but i do admit she has some great bops and she’s a super talented artist.

oh no, my love, I’m so sorry to hear that you had a stressful week and weekend. I hope you’re doing okay now? did you have a better weekend this past weekend? did you do anything fun? can i do anything to make you feel better?

ilysm 🌷💍💖💜🥺

[hongism]

ok this is my last ask of the day i just love talking to you and seeing your answers 🤧

ok wait i just saw this emoji i’ve never seen this before 😶‍🌫️

anyways back to what i was gna say, i graduated high school earlier this month, and i’m on my way to becoming a cryptolinguist in the air force, so that’s up to two years and some change of training

so when basic training comes, i’m gna be without my phone for a few months, and idk if ur gna be done with moc by that time but i’m gna miss so much 😭 it makes me sad but yknow i gotta start my career off and make money ig

anyways, you’re in college right? I was wondering what your major was.

when i wanted to go to college, i was gna major in either psychology, forensic science, neurology, or biology and when you mentioned that you were interested in learning about people’s minds and stuff i got excited because it’s similar to the things i like as well, like i’m obsessed with psychology and astrology, anything that could really help me figure out how a person is and how they work y’know?

-🗡

HSJDFHSJ no worries you're so cute pls send as MANY asks as you want heh i love chatting with you too 😌💖 it's so funny bc i know what that emoji looks like on my phone but since im on desktop it's just a no mouth man with 🌫 next to it UIFDSUISHFDH

anyways congratulations on graduating high school omg that's such a big achievement !!!! and hello !?!?! cryptolinguist in the air force?!?!?! bestie !!! that's freaking incredible oh my god that's really amazing GET IT YES you're amazing i respect u so much for choosing that path that sounds so cool and so fascinating oml but the training ;;-; i hear military training can be so brutal, i used to go to a school that had an rotc program and they SUFFERED so i hope you don't have to too difficult a time with it T-T and HOPEFULLY moc will be done before you go off for training too !! gotta get that career and that money i know that feeling ;-;

i am indeed in college yes! funnily enough i've changed majors three times so i used to be an art major, then i was an international studies major, and now im in the college of business! i can't say exactly what my major is bc it's a bit specific to my school and i dont wanna expose myself but it's a business degree that deals with computers and computer science stuff !! i described it so shittily god but that's pretty much what it is jdfiughdfiuhgd

initially i really wanted to major in psychology too! and i've taken several forensics classes for my minor and my major and i adored them they were always my fave and i actually used to want to be a psychologist in an asylum that was my dream job! just cuz of that whole understanding brains and processes and how humans work and why they choose things that's so interesting to me, that's why i write with so much focus on those aspects bc it's so intriguing to me! so we def have that in common heh i love that that's something you're interesting in and like as well we can bond over it :3

[wongiemei]

Roommate!Jeno

a/n: maybe i should just turn this blog into an nct dream one

okay

letsgetit!

first of all,

story time!

your uni is fucking expensive and it’s more expensive if you live in the grounds

so you being the wise human,

you went to get an apartment near the campus

it was great and all since roommate!jaemin was paying for his stuff

you were both living respectively until he had to leave

the dumbass didnt even bother to tell you

one morning you just woke up and found his note

‘hey bitch! figured you were too much of a rock to wake up but i moved out! the family wants me to go back home and tend the restaurant’

the whole day yesterday, you were working

bc,,, yknow

broke college life

and you just walked in half asleep towards your room and fell asleep

so you didnt really see or notice

but were you freaking out bc your roommate suddenly moved out?

ofc you were freaking out

not only was your roommate gone,

how were you going to find a new one?!

jaemin expected your phone call that afternoon and he endured through all your screaming

‘babe, i’m just going to be gone for a year-or two’

‘oR tWO?!’

‘hun, my dad’s injured and his back can only let him do so much. ma’s working too much and i dont have any siblings to help. i figured i could just hold off college until my parents are ready’

ugh, jaemin is such a family boy

‘but jaems! you couldnt have at least told me that yOu wERe mOvING OuT?! and! rent is due soon! i can’t pay for that myself!’

jaemin couldve easily told you to warn yoy

but he didn’t want to tell you bc he couldnt handle you sad and didnt want to upset you

however, now jaemin really understands how shitty that move was

‘tell you what. i’ll pay for this month and make a few phone calls and i’ll get you set up with a new roommate, deal?’

knowing how much of a social butterfly he was, you agreed

ofc you trusted jaemin but part of you feared that he might pair you up with a freak

but he’s not that mean, is he?

you can definitely see renjun doing that but not jaemin

so there you are,,

sitting on your couch alone

without jaemin, your apartment felt really empty

its been a few days since he moved and you were miserable

jaemin hasn’t even texted you about that potential roommate

just as you were about to call him,,

your doorbell rang

you froze and you looked at the time

it was nearing 11 at night and you don’t remember ordering delivery

see,,

if jaemin was here,

he would answer it for you since you would be too scared to do it

but you mustered up your courage and peeped through the peep hole

the man was dressed in all black with a black mask and a black cap with his hood over it with a black hoodie and black pants

ngl, you were terrified and trembling

he rang it again and you jumped

typing out a quick text to jaemin saying ‘hey bub, if i don’t text you in an hour, that means ive been kidnapped so call the police’

you grabbed a pan from the cupboard and gulped before you opened the door

thinking he would just walk forward and grab you, you closed your eyes and raised your pan over your head and swung

a shriek from in front of you made your eyes snap open and found the guy on the floor with a fetal position

you both just froze for like a phat minute

snapping back to reality, you held the pan in front of you

‘if youre going to kidnap me, i got a pan and im not afraid to hit you with it!’

you tried to sound intimidating but your voice was shaking so much

the guy stood up and he took off his hat and the mask to reveal a blonde haired kid

okay, so you were sHOokETh

damn! this boy is fine!

he gave you a shaky smile and held out his hand

‘hi! i’m lee jeno! you must be y/n? jaemin told me you had an opening for a roommate?’

now you noticed the two duffle bags at the side

the embaressment and the shame settled in slowly and you found yourself burning up

nodding, you motioned him to come in

jeno awkwardly walked in and was amazed at how big the layout was with the low rent

‘yea, its kinda hard to believe that we only pay that much. at first i thought there was a ghost in here and that’s why its so cheap’

you tried to make small conversation but laughed weirdly at jeno’s slightly terrified face

‘no! there really is not ghost here! ive lived here for a year and there hasnt been anything so please dont understand! please be my roommate!’

you begged and jeno thought you were weird

but jaemin was right, you were weirdly adorable in a way

so that’s how you and jeno became apartment buddies!

now onto the good stuff!

so, jeno is a vv clean guy

like he’s the type to just pick up a wrapper in the street and throw it in the garbage

so naturally, he likes to keep the apartment as tidy and neat as possible

but you being a mess you are,

you usually leave a lot of things everywhere

lets just say you have a short memory

‘oh? how did that get there?’

eventually, jeno gets sick of it and he confronts you with it

ofc you understand and you actually try to be better

since jeno is literally the most perfect roommate

maybe even better than jaemin

(but don’t tell him that)

jeno is the type to re-stock the pantry with snacks and the fridge with ice cream

since youre both college students, ramen is practically always available in the house 24/7

he also makes the coffee every morning since he works early and wakes up first

even though he doesn’t like the drink and prefers milk, he still notices how you survive off of coffee

babie likes to pick you up some iced americano while he gets a frappe

you on the other hand,,

you’re very surprised

when you got to bed after showing jeno around,

you messaged jaemin

ofc he was worried af and was blowing up your phone

‘WHAT?!’

‘bitch answer the damn phone!’

‘whatthe fuck is happening?!’

‘i need to know if you’re still alive!’

‘oh fuck i shouldnt have moved out’

smiling softly at how worried he was, you responded to him

‘you hoe, it hasnt been an hour yet so chillax. i’m alive, unfortunately, and i just met my new roommate. again, thanks for the heads-up. youre so bad at those. i literally thought he was a burgular or a kidnapper. but he seems chill and emo. just my type.’

but jeno is F A R from C H I L L

oh my goodness,,

hes a crackhead

theres this sound he makes when he’s confused and you couldnt figure out if its cute or weird or if he’s doing this on purpose or thats just how he is

you and him basically communicate with memes

sometimes, at the weird hours at night, he sends you a dumbass meme

you cant help but snort 

also, you promised to take jaemin out to dinner to repay him for the great roommate

‘hes literally one of the best people youll ever meet. it just so happen he needed a place to sleep. now you owe me’

hes a science major while you were a computer major

he basically brings home weird stuff to analyze and it just hella stinks

but hes considerate enough to actually put it outside

whenever he’s focused, he talks to himself or the thing he’s analyzing

‘okay mr. fishy. your scales are really big and its bigger than average’

its so cute

oof also!

jeno doesnt have a job yet he always makes rent on time with extra money to spare

he even sometimes buys you stuff saying, ‘they reminded me of you’

for your birthday, he bought you a pearl necklace that mustve costed thousands

at first, you thought he was a chaebol or smth

which you wouldve been vv jealous of bc youre a struggling college student who works at the coffee shop

but, you were answered when you caught him walking in half-dazed and half-asleep with cuts all over his face

it was like 2 in the morning and you were pulling an all-nighter for some project and wanted to get a glass of water

but here he is, hood up, lip busted, black eye, cheek cut

you shrieked and ushered him to sit on the dining chair

thinking he got mugged or something, you start drilling him questions

‘hun, if you were beat up, we need to call the police! this is illegal!’

but jeno chuckles and brushes the stray hairs out of your face as you tend to his lip

‘pls dont. if you do, ill be broke and i wont have money to pay rent then i cant be your roommate anymore’

cue confused y/n

‘wUT?’

‘if i dont make money, youll kick me out and youll have to find another roommate. i dont want you to go through that hassle again’

ofc you were flattered that even during this situation, hes still thinking about you

‘how is this making money?!’

‘i cant believe youre oblivious to so many things. i thought for sure youve caught on.’

more confusion

‘eXCUse mE, lEE JEno? since when have you started coming home with all these things in your face?’

you were worried that this wasnt the first time this happened

but if you think hard about it, thats why he always wears his mouth masks and he always has his blonde fringe down and sometimes wears sunglasses even though its cloudy outside

‘ohmygod lee jeno are you in a gang?!’

jeno was shocked that you came to that conclusion but laughed at how adorable you were rn

with your wide eyes and mouth open

‘nah, bro. i box. its the only way i can make easy money.’

‘but,,, why did you hide this from me? if you needed money i couldve helped you’

he looked at you skeptically

‘sis, you could barely afford that muffin the other day’

lee jeno now looked different from the jeno you met the first day

What you thought to be an innocent little squish was a fighter at night

‘yah, can-um-you need to take this off’

you mumbled while tugging on his sweatshirt

he nodded and slipped it off

he explained why he came late when he first moved

‘i had a late night match and yknow,, school and all, i barely had enough time to come'

as you dab the wound, you try to make small talk to distract yourself

 ‘so,, youve been boxing this whole time?’

you asked, trying not to get distracted to the way his tight shirt clung to him, showing his defined body

there were bruises up and down his arms and his knuckles were busted

‘yea. i have been since senior high. gotta make money, yknow?’

‘but jen, you can work in coffee shops or at local bookstores. its not worth seeing you busted up like this’

your lips trembled at the thought of him being beaten up too hard to the point he gets into a coma

jenos eyes widened at your wobbling lips and he softly cupped your face

‘hey, im okay and ill be fine. you dont have to worry about me. i usually win, anyways’

his confidence made you chuckle

‘i trust you, lee jeno. just make sure to make it home to me every night.’

‘i know you do and i will. always.”

ever since then,

youve become his little caretaker

youve informed jaemin of what hes been doing and he knew but didnt want you to judge him immediately

smh, jaemin really sucks at informing people

but jeno tries to help you keep up

he even sends you texts that hes fighting that night and your little ‘fighting!’ always makes him smile

his manager and friend, chenle, noticed that hes starting to smile more

chenle likes boxing and wants to be a part of it but doesnt want to be hurt

so,, what better to be the manager of his friend

‘yah, hyung. what’s got you giggly today?’

jeno pointed to the screen and giggled at the little good luck gif you sent

his eyes turned to crescents and chenle smirked

‘wah, you like her, don’t you?’

at the mention of ‘like’, his smile dropped and he shook his head

‘no. of course not. shes just a friend.’

chenle being chenle,,

he continues to prod

‘okay. so every night, you make it your priority to make sure you’re home by 2 in the morning for your friend’

smh, chenle youre so annoying

but hes so right

ever since you caught him,

hes been making sure he gets home at the same time 

he sends you a text that hes on his way and you set your ringtone at a very high volume so you wake up and take care of him

during fights, he makes it his sole mission to make out of this alive and a winner for you

but that never crossed his mind as his feelings for you

he just thought of it as making you not worry for him

but then, he starts to think about your stupid little habits

the way you make this face whenever you dont understand

or when you still leave little post-it notes everywhere with ideas you come up with

he noticed it all and he loves them

‘hOLy ShIT!’

that night was when he realized his feelings for you and he was so dedicated on finishing it that he quickly won and he dashed home with his money

bursting through the door, you looked at him with wide and startled eyes

‘what’s wrong?’

you came running but he scooped you up to a hug

ok you were confused but relieved that he was home and alright

jeno looked at your face and wanted to confess but chickened out at the sight of you

you were so good to him and honestly, he doesnt deserve you

(his thoughts, not mine)

‘i-i’

he stuttered and you motioned him to continue

‘i won!’

he shouted and you congratulated him, even though he literally won all the time

guiding him to the chair, you began to dab his cuts

(dab that bitch)

‘im starting to think that your opponents either really suck or youre like the god of boxing’

he didnt know how to take that but blushed red at the mention of him being a ‘god of boxing’

‘nah, im just good’

you eyed him and smiled

he continued to watch you heal him and inspected your face

heavy eyebags and sunken cheeks, it mustve been a long night

he felt a pang in his chest thinking that you push your stuff away just to help him

‘you dont have to keep doing this for me, yknow’

you halt and look at him seriously

‘i know i dont. but i cant sleep at night thinking youre in pain and alone when i can be there for you’

even though he just realized it, jeno was pretty sure he fell in love with you a long time ago

but if it was possible, he fell in love with you even more

‘thank you’

his soft voice filled the silence and you vowed that you will always be there for him whenever he needs help

a few days later, jeno hasnt been to a fight

sure you were worried at what was going on in his head but partly relieved that you dont have to see him so battered anymore

but this was so un-jeno

just as you were about to talk to him about it, he announces he got a job at the bookstore down the street

‘huh? i thought you didnt want to work’

you question while he looked sheepish

‘i realized that i was starting to become a burden since you take care of me every time. so i thought i should quit and get a regular job. besides, it doesnt hurt as much’

he laughed but you didnt react

‘lee jeno, you gave up boxing and the money,,, for me?’

he nervously looked up at you and you noticed the redness of his cheeks

‘i-well-if you put it that way’

‘listen to me, im flattered and i truly love that you dont want to get beaten up anymore. but i dont want you to quit something you like because of me'

‘but you always take care of me and push your priorities away to clean me up. i dont do anything in return and i dont think its fair!’

he argued and a soft smile crept up your face

‘yah, lee jeno'

your voice became a whisper

‘it doesnt matter to me if you dont do anything in return bc i dont see this as a favor. you are mine to take care of and i will do anything for you, you understand that?’

he looked at you in shock after hearing your response

he also turned red at the mention of him being yours

‘so-but-i dont think-'

he stutters but you place your hands on his arms making him stop

‘all i ask is you to come back home, to come back to me'

by now, yall were blushing

even though it might not sound like it,

but yall just indirectly confessed to each other

yall stared at the ground and jeno looks up, biting his lip

‘hey, y/n, can i make it up to you with some coffee?’

your head darted up and looked at him with wide eyes

‘like-like a date?’

it came out suddenly and you stepped back in surprise, cursing yourself

but jeno chuckled, eyes scrunching cutely

‘it'll be one of many'

lmao i didnt really like this but i made it at 2 in the morning and i kinda like boxer!jeno

[rogerina-yee-haw]

“at least I’m one”

chapter 2: “- the sadness & tenderness”

sd!gwilym lee x reader

[the goodbye] 

summary: you and gwil met ten months ago; and he offered you to be his sugar baby almost immediately. you agreed at that exact moment, not knowing where it would get you.

warnings: angst, cursing, a bit of smut idk??, author’s spelling and grammar errors

a/n: the feedback was fucking crazy, i love y’all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didn’t even expect someone to read “the goodbye” chapter,,,i’ve been sobbing for the whole day while reading your messages,,,y’all make me feel loved,,i dont deserve that lol hope you’ll enjoy this chapter as much as the previous one <3

p.s. you should know that the fic is heavily inspired by “just a little bit of your heart” by ariana grande..gotta leave you with this information now

don’t cringe too much pls!!!!!!

also - it’s pretty obvious but still needed to be said - those big parts of text in italics are flashbacks

this is a long ass chapter hsjskshshs

i do not own the gif, cr to the owner

“We’ll send you an invitation!” Alice practically pushes you out of Gwil’s apartment. You aren’t mad in any way; you understand. Gwil will be home in a couple hours, and Alice has to get ready. She’s his fiancée now, after all.

Your hand is already numb when you’re outside; the bag is too heavy for you to carry it on your own. It’s also the matter of you mental state – if everything was alright, you wouldn’t even feel the weight of this old bag with your stuff in it. You sight becomes blurry, all because of tears in your eyes; you feel like there is no more oxygen in your lungs – you can’t fucking breathe. You don’t know how you manage to walk to the nearest bench and sit down; you cover your face with hands and start weeping uncontrollably. He hurts you; every thought about him is hurting you.

And here, at this exact moment, you remember the day you met him ten months ago. When you first looked at him, you had no idea he would break your heart into million pieces; you didn’t know he would leave you completely shattered.

You lean back onto the bench and raise your head to the sky, still crying. Why couldn’t he tell you? Is it really that hard just to talk, to break the arrangement? If he was honest with you, if he told you about his engagement, you would have understood better. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt that much.

You wipe the tears away from your cheeks and close your eyes. You’re still panting, still trying to stop yourself from sobbing – but you just can’t. You are so in love with him that it completely and endlessly breaks your heart. You didn’t know happiness before Gwil; as well as you didn’t know heartbreak before him.

You see your hands shake crazily when you put the phone out of the pocket of your dress. This dress was one of those that you bought while shopping with Gwil – he said that you looked really good in it. He always told you how good you looked; no matter what you were wearing.

“I guess that’s in the past now”, you think while trying to call a cab. But you fail; your sight is still blurry and your hands shake impetuously. You try to calm yourself down; you breathe in and out slowly, until the heaviness in your breath fades away. You sigh deeply; you need to get out of this place before Gwilym comes back home. If he told Alice to speak to you, then it means that he doesn’t want to see you.

How simple. To throw you away when needed, to use you for fucking and to play with your feeling pretending to give a shit about you – how fucking simple is that? And then get engaged to the brattiest bitch in the whole world – a smart move for a serious man. You clench your jaw and close your eyes, taking another deep breath. You should have never expected him to end up with you. But you have always been dreaming too much; since you were a little girl you’ve imagined yourself having a happy life with the Prince Charming.

You let out a sad chuckle. Funny, isn’t it? You were so close. You were touching, kissing, loving the man of your dreams – but he never loved you back. You gave him everything; every little part of your body was his and his only. He knew you like no one else before him did.

And now all of it is gone. It’s turned to dust, with a snap of his fingers.

And you are destroyed as well.

You suddenly understand that the cab can’t take you home – you left your wallet at Gwil’s place. Your credit card and cash are in there; but there’s no way you’ll come back to this place. You’re shattered and broken, but you still have pride. You know you won’t be able to come through that humiliation one more time. Alice has seen enough of you crying; you couldn’t give her any more reason to make fun of you. You’d better leave this old wallet with the money and the photo of you and Gwil in it to Alice. She can do whatever she wants with it – she may throw it away, burn it, rip it apart – anything. But you will never come back to this apartment.

You may also never get to your own flat if you continue sitting on a bench in the middle of the street and keep crying. Your phone’s going to die soon, and you certainly won’t be able to carry the bag with all of the stuff on your own. You can’t call your sister or Janet; your mum and dad aren’t the best option either. So you decide to call Billy.

“Oi, Y/N”, he responds in a cheerful voice; you’re feeling guilty for bothering your best friend with your troubles. “What you’re doing?”

You are being silent for, at least, thirty seconds. Billy’s silent too.

“Are you alright?” he asks softly.

“Come pick me up”, you whisper. “Please”, you add it almost silently.

“Where are you?”

You tell him the name of the street and he promises to come as soon as possible before hanging up. You feel ashamed of yourself; Billy is the last person you want to drag into your mess of a life. But he is your best friend. You have been best friends since you were toddlers; and he has been your last hope.

Your phone buzzed. You looked at the screen to see the text from Janet. “Ready for tonight? xx”

Covering your eyes with one hand, you let out a fatigued sigh. You completely forgot about the party you were supposed to attend. “Sorry, Jan. I feel like shit. Can’t get up. I don’t think I will make it to the party”.

Your phone dies the second Janet sends another message; you sigh and put it away. You hope Billy will find you easily.

And he does.

His car stops right in front of you; Billy storms out of it and runs to you immediately.

“Jesus, Y/N, what happened?” he sits down on the bench near you. Your sight becomes blurry again; you clench your fists tightly making your nails dig into the soft skin of your palms – you do it to stop yourself from crying. It helps a bit.

Billy looks at you with concern in his eyes, but you don’t want to explain anything to him. He met Gwilym only once and it was just a brief acquaintance between your best friend and the man of your dreams. Billy once hinted that he didn’t quite like Gwil; but you didn’t pay attention. It wasn’t important to you when, for a scarcely perceptible moment, Prince Charming was yours.

But it is important to you now. You don’t want to tell Billy about what happened; you feel like his antipathy towards Gwilym will turn into pure hate.

“Nothing”, you stay quiet for a moment. “Just had a mental breakdown”. You weren’t lying to him, though. You just don’t tell him the reason for this breakdown.

“I’m sorry, Y/N”.

“Just take me home. Please”.

Billy nods and takes the bag from the ground. “What you need this heavy bag for?”

“Went to the laundromat”.

Billy furrows his brows; he can tell you are lying. But he doesn’t say anything and just silently follows you to the car.

                                     ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

When you finally get to your flat, you both are greeted with your cat’s loud meowing.

“Hey, April”, Billy takes the cat into his arms and pets it gently; April purrs in pleasure, making Billy smile. The other day you would be giggling at it, but today was certainly different. You sit down on couch and tilt your head back, looking at the ceiling. Your eyes are dry now; it seems as if you don’t even feel anything. You only have the endless void inside of you.

“Y/N”, Billy’s voice is distant. “Do you need to talk about it?”

It? That’s how your relationship can be described?

Yes, that’s exactly how anyone should describe your fucked up relationship with Gwil – by using this simple pronoun. It. Just it. Just nothing.

You shake your head. “No”.

“You need to be alone, yuh?”

Billy always understands you without words. He always knows what you need. Loneliness is something you desire to have now.

“Yeah”.

He nods. “I’ll go then. Call me if you need anything”.

“Thanks”, you whisper, looking at him. Billy smiles softly; quietly closing the front door, he leaves your flat in mere seconds. And here you are – in your small flat, alone with your cat. Again.

April jumps on the couch, purring loudly; you scratch her behind her ear.

One single tear falls down from your eye right on April’s head; the cat’s taken aback by it, as she can’t understand what has just happened to her. The lost look in her hazel eyes is so funny, that you can’t but let out a laugh through your tears.

“You silly girl”, you sniffle. “Come here”, you take April in your hands; she’s usually everything but tender; but today she feels that you need her support. You lay down on the couch with April on your chest; she purrs and fawns while you’re petting her.

Five minutes April lies in your feet, and you curl up on your small, old couch and fall asleep immediately.

You have dreams this sunny afternoon. You’re dreaming about Gwil; as you always do.

                                    ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

                                                 May.

“Feeling good?”

You opened your eyes slowly and saw Gwil standing in front of the bathtub with a soft smile on his face. You grinned back at him. He looked so good in that black suit; his shirt was half unbuttoned, and a prominent bulge in his pants was also drawing your attention to it.

“Yeah”.

He leaned in closer and kissed you on the forehead. “And looking good too. Bet it’s the best bubble bath you’ve ever had”.

You rolled your eyes at his words; you knew where this was going. Not that you had something against it; you just hated his stupid jokes sometimes. “Let me guess what you’re gonna say next”, you started. “It’s the best ‘cause it’s my bath”, you mocked his voice, and he raised his eyebrows in response.

“What was that?” his blue eyes were now dark and his voice was low and raspy; you felt a tight knot forming in your lower abdomen, because Gwil was looking at you like that.

“You’ve heard me”.

You were in the mood of teasing him. You were sure he deserved it – he left for work right in the middle of your morning make out session, and you were frustrated and annoyed since then. That was the reason for having a babble bath at four in the afternoon. You needed to calm down your arousal. And when you were almost satisfied, Gwil came back home. So you had the right to torture him for some time.

He licked his lips and hummed in response; you were watching him closely and had to keep yourself from moaning when he did that.

You were looking into each other’s eyes for some time, and when you bit your lip, Gwil knew he had enough of this staring competition.

He bent down and gripped you by the waist, roughly pulling you out of the bath. You let out a squall – as you didn’t expect him to do something like that. He threw you over his shoulder, not caring that you were soaking his expensive ass jacket.

“Gwil!” you panted as he was carrying you to the bedroom. “Stop it! I’m wet!”

“Oh, I bet you are, love”, he said and smacked your ass; you shrieked, but gave in – your attempts to stop him were useless. He set up his mind to fuck you senseless for your bratty behavior.

No matter how rough he would get, Gwil still needed you to feel comfortable; that was his ultimate goal, after all. This moment was no exception – when you reached your final destination, his bedroom, Gwilym gently put you down on the bed; you didn’t even have the time to breathe when he attacked your lips.

His kiss was needy, full of desire and passion; his hands were roaming about your body, squeezing your breasts and touching you everywhere.

“Being a bad girl, huh?” he mouthed, breaking the kiss. Your heart skipped a bit; his ocean blue eyes were looking right into your soul. You could’ve let him take the heart out of your chest and crush it in his hands – you would have let him do anything so that he just kept looking at you like that. You wanted to be his one, one and only. You wanted to intertwine your fingers with his, while he was looking at you as if you were his world; just like he did now. You needed him so much, in every way possible. You wanted him to be yours. But it wasn’t possible. You closed your eyes and sighed deeply, trying to hide from Gwil your sudden urge to cry.

He pressed a kiss on your eyelid and lightly touched your cheek with his fingers. “What is it, love?”

“Nothing”. You opened your eyes and faked a smile. You drew your fingertip down over his face; it seemed as if you tried to memorize every feature, every detail of his face – ‘cause you had this terrible feeling inside of you that one day all of it would be over. You were so scared to lose him.

A single tear fell down onto the bed from the corner of your eye. You were such a fool for letting your feelings get in the way. You shouldn’t have fallen for him. That was violation of the main rule that you’ve established in your head. And you broke it almost immediately.

Gwil cupped your cheeks and looked at you worriedly. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Did anyone hurt you?”

You swallowed hard and shook your head. You hated yourself for not controlling your emotions. You should have played your part better; you must have hidden your feelings from him. He couldn’t know.

“Did I hurt you?” No matter how much you wanted to escape his gaze, you couldn’t do it; it seemed as if he tried to hypnotize you. He needed the answer.

And when he looked at you so tenderly, so caringly – you knew you had to tell him the truth. You had to tell him about your feelings, about how much thoughts about him with Alice, Zoe or someone else hurt you. You needed to burst the truth out; you wanted to confess that you were always thinking about him – everywhere and all the time. You had to tell Gwil the only thing – he indeed hurt you all the time you spend apart. One simple confession with three words – that was all that had to be done to end your misery. “I love you”.

But you never said that. Instead you kissed him on the lips softly and smiled lightly. “You could never hurt me, Gwil”.

And here you were again – back to loving him silently. You still could have told him; but you weren’t able to find the words to say it out loud. You knew that, when you told him the truth, whatever you two had would be ruined. You had a little bit of his heart – just like Alice and Zoe did. And you were sure that this little love was better than none.

                                   ╰╮✾╭╯✯╰╮✾╭╯

“Call Y/N”, Gwilym says to Kiara. “Tell her about it. Also tell her that I’ll call her later. Do you understand?”

Kiara nods quickly. “I do, Mr. Lee. I’ll do everything you say”.

“Good”, he walks off to the elevator and presses the button. Tonight was supposed to be special. He arranged everything for it.

But his idiots of partners just had to fuck up everything with the deal in Dublin; and now he has to leave for a week. Gwilym doesn’t know if he’s able to fix the mess they’ve made. He has been working for two years to get that contract; and it took Ryan and John a day to ruin all of his hard work.

Gwil leans back onto the wall of the elevator and sighs deeply; how he would love to come home to you now. To kiss you slowly, while gripping your waist and grabbing your hips. To take your clothes off and leave a trail of kisses from your jaw to your stomach. To feel you. That’s the only thing Gwil wants now – to be with you.

But he doesn’t even have time to call you – he’s already being late for his flight. That’s why he asked Kiara to do it; if she screws up in any way, he’ll finally be able to fire her. Gwilym desperately needs you to know about him leaving, but he also wants Kiara to mess up really bad. So bad, that there would be no excuse for her to stay in this company.

“You look terrible, Gwilym”, his boss is greeting him “nicely” as usual; it takes Gwil everything to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. God, he hates this old prick.

“I haven’t eaten since morning, Mr. Smithers”, Gwil lies; that’s not the reason for his gloomy mood. He feels that something is wrong. But he doesn’t quite know what. The only thing that is clear to him is that he has to come home now, to you. To the only thing in his life that matters.

“You’ll eat in a plane”, the man says and sits down in the car. Gwil stands in front of the open door for a moment, still hesitating to go. Now it’s more than a feeling – he has to come home. He must leave this place and take a cab, and head to you. Because he knows something’s not right.

“How long do I have to wait for you, Gwilym?” Mr. Smithers voice makes Gwil clench his fists and roll his eyes. He can’t go home now. If he leaves, he’ll lose his job.

He hopes Kiara will call you. He hopes you’ll understand. He knows you’ll do. You always do.

When Gwil heads to his hotel room in Dublin after six hours of negotiations, you wake up in your flat in London.

Your eyes are dry and you can barely see anything; so you lay on the couch for ten minutes, silently looking at the ceiling. Memories of the day cross your mind and your eyes become watery again; but you know that you can’t cry anymore. If you stay sobbing on the couch, you’ll never recover. You think you may die if you don’t get up.

So you get up – slowly and with great difficulty. You feel like your head is going to explode from the throbbing pain; so you set a goal – to take aspirin. You head to the kitchen; you take a pack of aspirin from the box near the microwave. When you pour some water in the glass, your hands shake, and you spill a bit of water from the glass. You curse under your breath; everything’s a mess today. But you still manage to take the pill; you wince while swallowing – you have a sore throat and swallowing hurts a lot.

April meows loudly, making you turn around to her. You smile weakly. “You hungry, baby?”

She purrs in response; you put some food into her bowl and April wags her tail in pleasure. You slowly make your way to the bathroom – you need to wash this day off of you. You need every memory, every tear to go away. You hope taking a shower would help you.

You take your dress on the way; in the bathroom you’re just in your underwear. When you look in the mirror, you are a bit taken aback – you’re a mess. Your mascara is smudged all over your face, eyes are red, swollen lips are trembling as you see yourself in such an awful condition. You haven’t been such a mess since you broke up with Luke. You suddenly let out a laugh. Luke, for God’s sake, how much time has passed since you were angsting over him? That pain that he caused you is nothing now, compared to what happened today. Luke is nothing; the heartbreak that was after him doesn’t mean anything now.

You take off your underwear and toss it in a basket; when the stream of hot water hits your skin, you shiver. Hot showers were usually accompanied by Gwil’s hands around your waist and his tender kisses all over your neck. You clench your jaw at the sudden feeling of crying again; you turn the cold water fully on so that the memories of Gwilym would just go away.

You sit on the floor of your shower stall; you’re shivering uncontrollably and your teeth chatter while you’re trying to warm yourself up. You wrap your arms around yourself and close your eyes; the cold water isn’t bothering you anymore – you feel numb. “Please, make it stop”, you whisper, “Get him out of my head. Please”.

You don’t know whom you are praying to. You’ve had a lot of trouble with your faith recently, but now you don’t see any other option. Maybe for once – just for fucking once – the God will hear you. Maybe he will help you. Just now. Just once. 

Fifteen minutes later you put on a robe and wrap your hair in a towel; you don’t feel fresh and nice after the shower. You still are despondent; you don’t know what to do with that.

You sit down on the couch; maybe if you rip your heart out of your chest – maybe then it won’t hurt. You should have agreed to go that party with Janet. Maybe it’d have made you feel better.

“That’s a lot of “maybes”, you sigh.

You decide to check your voicemail; you remember that you sister was supposed to call you today. You turn the answering machine on. You have two missed calls. You press the button lightly.

“Y/N, hey. This is James. Look. Next week I’ll be in a London, so I was wondering, if… Y/N, would you like to grab a drink? We haven’t talked properly at your mum’s birthday, and I would really love to catch up with you. You know my number. Call me back”.

You rub your face; you have no desire to see James. He broke your heart, too. You are tired of men who play with your feelings.

You erase his message and press the button to listen to the second one.

“Miss Y/L/N, this is Damian Langford. I’m calling to inform you that your amount of work is doubled due to you taking a day off today. Please, do not forget about that”.

You roll your eyes. The fucking boss of yours never misses the opportunity to give you extra work; like you don’t feel like a shit already.

The inbox of your voicemail is empty; and here – again – comes the silence. It is so loud that you think it’ll make your eardrums bleed. You’ll go crazy tonight, for sure. You’ll go crazy in this emptiness and sadness.

And then your phone rings suddenly.

You hope it’s Gwil; you don’t know why, but you have this hopeless wish inside of you. Please, God. Let it be him. “Hello?”

“Y/N, for God’s sake!” you almost scream from desperation, when you hear your mother’s voice on the other side of the line. “I’ve been calling you for the past ten minutes!”

“Mum, what happened?”

“Becca’s water broke!” she shouted. “We’re in the hospital, and she has”, you hear your sister screeching like the police’s siren, “terrible contractions. She needs you here, sweetheart”.

“I’m on my way, mum”.

After learning at what hospital they are in, you quickly change into jeans and tee-shirt, not even bothering to wear a bra. You leave your apartment in mere seconds, your wet hair dripping your grey tee-shirt. You don’t care. Your sister needs you more than anybody.

When you storm into the hospital, you see your dad and your sister’s husband. For the first time during this day you’re not thinking about Gwilym; and that is exactly what you want.

_______________________________________________________

tell me whatyou think pls!!!

“alio” taglist:  @heartsarecompatible @all-my-friends-are-german @magicwithaknife @longing-hiraeth @thelondondreamer5 

[daehwifi]

WINTERS WITH WANNA ONE .

- admin xion [collaborating with my bby cyn @longquos]

genre: fluff member(s): wanna one ! word count: n/a requested: no side notes: aHHH THIS IS SO CUTE I CANT AISUHDNIMLKW 

prompt: for the cold days with wanna one 

jisung

every time you guys meet, he buys you heat packs

or if he doesn’t have t time to stop buy a store and buy some, he’ll share his with you 

like it’ll be in between both of your hands as you guys are holding hands

when going to cafes together, he’ll place his face into his hands and smile as you drink your hot chocolate

finds it the most cutest thing ever when you place your hot drink near your face for a while to heat it up 

would play little mini games to see who pays 

like he’d purposely google “how to always win at rock paper scissors”  

if he does lose, he’ll be like “practice round,” 

if you do end up paying, he’ll like swap your credit cards or something 

but if you catch him in the act and you do end up paying, he’ll become all pouty and child-like mad

he’ll only forgive you if you hug him and apologize

avoid dangerous or possible dangerous places, especially when he’s with you 

always drives 

he’ll purposely turn up the heat in the car to make sure your warm 

from time to time, he’ll cup your cheek and run his finger back and fourth ever so softly

a pure gentlemen

make sure you enter the passenger seat first

puts on your seat belt

will do the parking trick (where he places his arm over your seat) and you just look at his jawline 

and you could smell his cologne 

which melts your heart because he puts on the cologne he knows you love the most

if your hand is resting on the space in between the seats, he’ll draw circles on it as he’s driving out of natural habit

if you fall asleep in his car, he’ll purposely park and pull out an extra jacket and throw it over you

giving you a light peck on your cheek and having the smallest smile before he drives again

will send you healthy tips (like good tea’s to drink) especially during the winter if you ever get a cold  

sungwoon 

would sing you to sleep after a date

or like if you’re falling asleep on his shoulder, he’ll sing (or hum) softly as he pats your head really gently

karaoke dates are common (yes you guys yell a lot within them) 

but so are lazy days (spending dates within his dorm or yours) 

trying to make small things together (like origami) or even bake)

if you run into taehyun, he’ll smirk at the two of you 

or be like “shut up taehyun, y/n’s mine,” 

“if you had a girlfriend, in which you don’t, you’d be even more whipped than i am right now,” 

at a chirstmas party, he’ll try to out sing jaehwan

and you’ll be there like

“oh shit”

“i won right babe?”

and you’ll tease him and pretend to think about it and he’ll just pout 

would want you to always have fun 

tucks strands of hair behind your ear and gummy smiles because you melt his heart away

tries to hold your hand when you both are walking and once you’ll notice he’ll pout and be like “babeeee” when you’re doing your makeup and sungwoon is in your room

he’ll know all your makeup products by heart

“sungwoon can you pass me the nars pallete with the p-”

and he already has it in his hand and is handing it to you

if you’re ever using olive young products, he’ll know all the products even more

“babe don’t use that one, the lip tint isn’t long lasting and you won’t like the texture of it,” 

“take this one instead”

knows you like and what you dont

like he can order for you, knowing your mood, what you’re craving 

if your breaking out, he’ll buy cosrx pimple patches for you

lol this just turned into skin care routine with sungwoon-

minhyun

not a lot of outside dates

he wants you to be as warm as possible 24/7

would cook up a meal for you as you help 

highkey when he’s rushing in the kitchen, he’ll purposely stop and give you a kiss on your cheek and it’ll be all worth it for him

he’ll buy home essentials for the winter and give them to you

purposely buys a kotatsu for both of you to use 

if anything, he’ll let you borrow his sweaters 

especially if you came with clothes and you weren’t so warm

he’d force you to wear a sweater when going home

doesn’t really mind you stealing his hoodies since he knows you’ll be warm and cozy 

finds you to be the most cutest thing in the world whenever you wear them and you have little “bear paws”

baking is a must 

when it becomes a mess, it’ll bother him 

but you wipe frosting onto his nose

“let’s focus on that later”

if you bring cookies you made yourself 

he’ll become so protective over it and hates it when his members eat them instead of him 

scolds members when they try to interfere with both of your cookie baking together

purposely lay his body on top of yours when your laying down 

and give you small pecks on the lips 

he’ll give you small pecks everywhere man- 

when napping together, he’ll sneak a arm around your waist

and nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck

make sure your body is close to his because he knows you feel extremely safe in that position 

“i love you,” he mumbles softly

and you become a flustered mess 

kisses your cheek when you fall asleep

he’ll find anything about you adorable

your sneezes

your laughs

even you crying

he finds you to be such a beautiful human being 

seongwoo

he’d start snow fights with you and would want to build a snowman together

make sure you bring gloves all the time but when you don’t, he’d hold your hands throughout the whole entire date

would buy you a giant scarf and wrap it around you

whenever your back hugging him, he’d take your hands and shove them inside the pockets of his jacket, still holding your hands 

his hands are heat packs themselves

smiles a lot when you back hug him because it’s something he finds to be so adorable when you do it especially

places his forehead on yours when he has the oppertunity

loves teasing the height difference (if there is one) if you guys go see fireworks, he’ll stare at you instead 

cups your cheeks a lot

when you sit down, he’ll take off his jacket and place it onto your lap

he likes doing cheesy stuff

he’ll pay for dinner 

when you reach for your wallet he’ll be like

“brb gotta use the washroom”

and highkey pay 

always wants you to be comfortable

prioritizes you way more than himself 

gets lowkey jealous easily

you two would be walking down the street, holding hands as a attractive male comes up to you to ask you a question (like where is the nearest train station) and he’ll compliment you within the process, despite your boyfriend is right beside you

and seongwoo would squeeze your hand as he compliments you 

and deny it later on that he was jealous

he drapes his arms over your shoulders often

jaehwan 

jaehwan would be all bundled up and have his guitar case swung over his shoulder when you guys meet 

stops at a park or in front of a cafe and whips out his guitar 

sing songs he wrote for you or really soft songs he knows you enjoy as he gives you this stare that makes you melt every single time

and afterwards you’ll compliment him on it 

and he’ll become shy then cocky

tries to act cool and do the “you hands are cold so i’ll stuff them into my pocket” but then forgets that he zipped it up

and when he attempts hes like

“sHIT” 

and fumbles to unzip it

you’re dying of laughter as you end up unzipping it for him 

he’d be both cocky and grateful for you

“what would i do without you?” and 

“pffttttt, i was just testing you, this was all apart of my plan,” 

if you ever told him you were could, he’d highkey tease you

“jaehwan, i’m cold,” 

“sorry, i’m cold too,” and pulls his scarf tighter around his neck 

but afterwards, you feel something warm around your neck and it’s jaehwan’s knitted scarf 

daniel

wOO MY BIAS

holds your hand on the street 

giggles whenever you pout

you guys would meet and there’d be snow falling 

and daniel would instantly embrace you with his warmth

if you’re cold, he’ll open up (hAHHAHAHHA) his jacket and wrap you around it 

gives you kisses on your nose since your nose gets cold easily

kisses the top of your head often

smiles really widely when around you 

covers your ears just in case if their cold 

if you’re still cold, he’ll run to the pharmacy and buy you heat packs for you

hugs you wherever you go 

especially when waiting in lines at a cafe, he’ll sneak his arms around you and back hug you

also would kiss your cheek within the process

girls are highkey checking him out because who wouldn’t

but you’re the only one he sees 

daniel doesn’t really prefer it when you guys are together and are not making any contact at all 

like if you’re not hugging, you’re arm would cling onto his 

if not that, you guys would be holding hands 

he’s just clingy overall, not that you mind 

he’ll feel a bit empty if you guys aren’t doing anything

but if you’re realllllllllly not in the mood which is extremely extremely (x52) rare, he’ll understand 

daniel would also wear trench coats often

i love him in trench coats

that by itself is a thread

wOOO BOI

and him in a huge ass scarf

yes pls 

jihoon

the two of you like to go out and eat then go home cause none of you guys want to burn down the kitchen 

so at the dorms, he’ll attempt the classic, “let’s watch horror so you get scared and cling onto me!” but he ends up getting scared and clings onto you 

“jihoon, it’s not real,”

“sHHHHH YOU’RE THE ONE SCARED WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” 

but in actuality he’s not scared

you just weren’t clinging onto him liked planned so he pretends too

and you highkey know it 

you guys would be the type of couple to spend christmas together (lol let’s pretend chirstmas didn’t just pass) 

he’ll spoil you with small gifts that cost a lot 

writes you cards because he knows you treasure cards a lot and have a box of just past cards you’ve received

i feel like he’s too weak to carry a huge ass gift so therefore he buys you small ones instead

abuses nae maeum soge jeojang to get you to do stuff for him

“babe can you get me the remot-”

“no”

“AHEMEAHEMAEH M NAE MAEUM SOGE JEOJ-”

and bam you’re giving him the remote 

jinyoung always third wheeling

and jihoon just pulls that on you and jinyoung’s like

“what the actual hell....” and just leaves you both from that, shaking his head as your dying of laughter 

making weird faces is a habit of both of yours

he’d just look at you and make a weird face as you’d do the same 

and they’d always end off with both of you giving a small kiss on the lips 

woojin 

dates to lotte world or everland 

he seems like the kind of person who enjoys those kinds of dates 

he’ll want to buy those headbands and take pictures with you to show off to the members later 

and drags you onto rides 

at the end of the day, he’ll take you to the ferris wheel 

and once the two of you are at the top when it stops woojin begins screaming and you’re like

“GODDAMMIT” 

and can’t stop laughing because the sounds he was making is so funny 

and the car starts rocking because you’re laughing too hard 

“imscaredlet’ssittogether,”

once he sits beside you, you give him a small peck on the cheek and begins to blush really hard, staring off into space

as his iconic snaggletooth smile appears and he giggles softly

and then he leans in again and plants a firm kiss on your lips 

as the ferries wheel begins to start again, the two of you scream and then start laughing

when seongwoo comes to pick you two up 

“dID yoU Two hAVE fuN? (;” 

highkey seongwoo the dad in this situation

you two begin laughing as seongwoo becomes confused 

jinyoung 

date movie x52

inclduing arcade machines 

and jinyoung would have no mercy

“can you let me win once?”

and he’s like

“lolol no,” 

no one escapes the wrath of jinyoung

when he claims all of his prizes, he’ll just walk off with them 

he’ll debate if he wants to give them to you or not

also, him choosing which prizes to get is a story itself 

“dammit, they have the gudetama sleeping but they also have the yugioh card deck that doesn’t sell anymore!” 

makes you chose a prize for him

doing any couple-like stuff will make him really flustered

like really flustered

holding hands itself will make him blush so much 

jinyoung’s probably a back hugger 

he’s fine with it and all but he really likes wrapping his arms around you and putting his head on your shoulders 

he’d probably kiss your cheek too when he does it 

if the two of you took a nap together, he’d hug you so close to him and it’d be the cutest thing ever 

you can’t even sleep because your heart is beating too fast

daehwi 

when you two meet, he’ll hold your hands and jump up and down 

when he has a date with you, he’ll carry a lot of stuff in his backpack just in case (stuff like checkers and has snacks, heat packs, scarves, gloves, etc) 

he’ll enjoy squishing both of your cheeks together

fixes your bangs 

gives you really soft and gentle kisses 

and he’s really shy at first about the holding hands thing

but as time goes by, he’ll lace his fingers with yours 

if you blush, he’ll ruffle your hair 

“you’re so cute,” and then you’ll peck him on the cheek 

and he’ll turn his head because he’s too embarrassed

if daehwi was taller, he’d back hug you 

texts you “make sure to dress up warmly!” and stuff on the days he has a schedule and not with you

when he’s free, he’ll pick you up

the two of you take the train together and he leans his head against your shoulders and takes a nap

and you’re like

“asiudhnilwkmaduasonim he’s too cute” 

guanlin 

guanlin would do some really cute things that makes you completely flustered 

he’d secretly buy things you said you wanted like ages ago 

and when you unwrap it, you lowkey cry on the inside because he remembered 

he’d highkey have a whole note on his phone of shit to buy you 

whenever he see’s you cry, he’d be like

“oh shit what’d i do?”

“nO THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS” 

and he’d do his iconic gummy smile

highkey from time to time you’d laugh your ass off cause guanlin would mispronounce something in korean as you’d correct him 

hugs you before pecking your lips 

and jisung just walks into the room at the same time and is like

“awh young love,” then walks out

the rest of the day is spent cuddling with guanlin in bed 

and he’s extremely warm 

when he’s sleepy, his voice gets really deep 

he’s overall really whipped for you

becomes even more of a kid then he already is whenever you do something extremely cute

like he’ll smile really widely and do little jumps or kick his legs around 

cOUGH

GO

COUGH

FOLLOW

COUGH

CYN

@longquos (she did this collab with me <3 ily cyn also her birthday is right around the corner so pls <3) 

[fucking-hydra]

hello hello i dont know if you take lyric prompts but if you do "better days for better headaches" with whatever ship you feel like writing

hi !!! definitely down for lyric prompts always always!!! i’m assuming this is for the bears in trees song??? if not pls let me know!! but… i might do this as frankenbilly. i know that’s sorta not the standard for this blog so if you’d like something different let me know!! but that’s what came to mind so let’s give this a shot. (i’m also so sorry this took so long!)

since there aren’t lyrics, i’m gonna match based on the colors my synesthesia lights the song up in, which are: sunrise gradient, burgundy, dark purple, dark blue and dark green. we’re going to go in reverse chronological order. because it feels right.

(in more detail, some of the things that my synesthesia lights up during the song (in no particular order) are: the soft scratch of autumn leaves as they fall on the sidewalk, burgundy felt fabric, deep purple curtains and ornate gold finish, dark green plants under deep blue oceans, the perfect crunch of an apple, the taste of fresh sourdough bread, the kind of laughter from a couple drinks too many, dancing wildly in a room to music in a way that no one else understands but they’re still enthralled watching, the types of kisses that happen when you haven’t seen your partner in a while and you’re so happy they’re here you can’t imagine doing anything else besides kissing them, unintentionally setting down a glass just a little harder then necessary.)

(TW for some semi-graphic violence/character death, and more implied/referenced death.)

The sink in Frank’s apartment drips constantly. No matter what he does, it always drips steadily, a tapping metronome that seems to urge him to just keep going, keep going. He glances at it every so often over the top of Curtis’s copy of Pride and Prejudice, stretched out on his makeshift bed.

Bill rinses off vegetables in their kitchen sink, stacks them on the cutting board as he turns off the water, but it keeps dripping. He sighs.

“Frank, sink’s dripping again. We could just call a guy, you know. Then you wouldn’t have to fix it all the time.”

Frank comes wandering in from the living room, climbs under the sink and grabs the wrench already sitting there. “Yeah, but it gives me something to do. And the last guy you called didn’t do shit anyway, waste of time and money.”

Bill hums as he cuts the carrots. “Yeah, but it’s not like we don’t have the money to spare to call more people. And we’ve got all the time in the world.”

Frank stands up, starts to reply, but the dripping is replaced with rapid gunfire, and Bill drops the knife, hands pressing against the wounds in his chest and stomach as he collapses, Frank rushing to catch him.

Frank startles, arm jerking but still gripping Curtis’s book in his hand. He stares at the dripping sink, tries to get his breathing under control. He can still hear Bill’s voice, still remember every detail like it was yesterday.

--

The tent flap to the briefing room parts, and Bill steps in, Frank frowning as he takes in his appearance.

“We’ve gotta get everyone ready to go, we’re moving out in 20,” Bill says, and Frank frowns.

“Bill, you know as well as I do that they’re sending us into a goddamn trap, what the hell are they playing at?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” Bill says, gathering up the materials on the table. “We need to go.”

Frank watches him, confused. “Well, what did Rawlins say? Anything that might explain this shit?”

“He didn’t say a goddamn thing, Frankie, he said to go play the good little soldier and kill the fucking target, so that’s what we’re gonna do, so let’s go,” Bill snaps, and Frank grabs his arm as he tries to pass him.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Bill says, eyes wild like a cornered animal, “now let go of me, we have work to do.”

Frank lets go, can’t figure out what to do to help when he knows as well as Bill that they’re headed to their deaths.

--

“Y’know, if you ever become so big shot like you’re trying to be, you gotta learn to do this on your own,” Frank says, tugging gently at the ends of Bill’s tie to line them up properly.

Bill grins, cocks his head to the side as Frank folds the ends over and under each other. “Well, got a long time before that now, don’t I? Gotta get through this damn tour first. ‘Sides, maybe I’ll keep you around, you can keep doing this for me.”

Frank laughs, tugs the knot tightly and takes a half step back to examine his work. “Yeah, sure ya will, only if we keep managing to get leave time together. Now-” Frank pauses, to pull Bill in, kissing him hard before he lets go, smoothing out the tie again, “-go get ‘em, devil dog.”

Bill laughs too, puts a hand on Frank’s shoulder. “Thanks, Frankie.”

He shuts the motel room door behind him with a heavy thud.

--

They’re sitting in the showers at the end of the night, talking and laughing before they head back to barracks. It’s a stupid decision, really; they’re already in trouble for stealing from the mess hall the night before, and the drill sergeant will do a hell of a lot worse than have them run all day if he finds them staying up and fucking around again, but they’ve never exactly been ones for wise decision making.

“Where do you think we’ll go from here? You think they’ll send us into combat somewhere?” Bill asks, and Frank gives a half shrug and a nod.

“Probably. Otherwise we’d have been sent home by now for all the shit we’ve done.” They both laugh, and Frank shrugs again. “But yeah, I think so. They’ve been paying too close of attention for us not to. They like what we can do, I think.”

“And what’s that? What can we do, besides make badass chicken parmesan in their shitty kitchens?” Bill asks, and Frank snorts.

“Survive. Even in training exercises, neither of us has ever been KIA. And we usually get most everyone else out, too. They need that. They need us.”

Bill nods slowly. “And what happens when they don’t need us anymore?”

Frank shrugs. “Let’s not stick around to find out.”

Solemn quiet between them.

“And we’ll make food with better ingredients when we’re out, too,” Bill says suddenly, and it startles a laugh out of Frank.

“Yeah. Yeah, we sure will.”

[glisteria]

all of the nsfw asks pls ?

(lowkey doin it bc u asked even tho i wanna do it anyways)

1. Are looks important in a relationship?•In my personal opinion? No. If you focus truly on the outside you may never find someone you connect with that is pretty too yknow? If that makes sense??

2. Are relationships ever worth it?• Of course

3. Are you a virgin?•No

4. Are you in a relationship?•God i wish i was

5. Are you in love?•Wouldnt classify it as love? but maybe

6. Are you single this year?• Uhhh for the most part

7. Can you commit to one person?• Yes

8. Describe your crush•Well you see im weird and like boy a guy AND a girl so ill give u 2 description? The guy is loud and stupidly funny and is a dweeb. The girl is cute asf and very smart and talented plus i keep circling back to acting like a school girl over her so 👀

9. Describe your perfect mate• Someone i can talk with. Make jokes and be comfortable around. Someone who understands my weird mood shifts or try’s to understand

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?• Maybe

11. Do you ever want to get married?•Depends ask me in 10 or so years

12. Do you forgive betrayal?•Depends on how bad it was

13. Do you get jealous easily?•Honestly situational but sometimes yes

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?•Ya yeet

15. Do you have any piercings?•Oh dude ya i have 3 per ear and would like more

16. Do you have any tattoos?•Cat on my inner right ankle (want more tho)

17. Do you like kissing in public?•Yes

20. Do you shower every day?•Try to but #depression

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?•Haha i thought so but then he decided he didnt wanna be around me :)

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?•Hope so. maybe not im a dISASTER

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?• Yes

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?• 🤷🏻‍♀️

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?• Plz

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?• Yes

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?• No but i for them

28. Have you ever been cheated on?• No

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?•No but i was ‘the other girl once’ and i regret

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?•Idk smth about my stomach? Breast reduction

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?•Oh yea all the time

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?• HA yes

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?•Yes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?•Not technically

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?• 👀 yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?• Oh yes the cliché friends to lovers trope. Yes ive fallen for friends

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?• OH YES

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?• 👀 Sophomore year looking @ u

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?• Do idols count

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?• Ya

41. Have you had sex so far this year?• HA in a dream yea

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?• Depends on the persons preferences

43. How long was your longest relationship?•6 months

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?• I dunno 6?

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?• Considering i was 13/14 from what i can remember not many

46. How many times did you have sex last year?• 0

47. How old are you?• 18

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?•Id support them because the heart wants what it wants

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?• Physically probably their eyes and hands

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?•No absolutely not

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?•Yes multiple

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?• Yes and because i cared too much and he cared not at all

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?• I have friends who dont like my other friends if that counts

54. Is there someone you will never forget?• Of couese

55. Share a relationship story.• Haha i dunno. Most are bad

56. State 8 facts about your body• I have a tattoo. I have horrible acne. My right ankle cracks if i bend it. I have a random hard spot on my right leg. I have a large belly. I have a freckle on the outside of my right hand. 3 holes in each ear. I have large brown eyes

57. Things you want to say to an ex• Please stop toying with my even though you are out of my life

58. What are five ways to win your heart?• Be kind to me. Dont pressure me into anything and let me be the way i am. Plz dont make fun of my obsession with kpop or certain games. Food? Literally just like me. Bam you got me

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)• HNNNNN ill send (the asker) a selfie

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?• 2 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?• Personality wise probably sense of humor and physically eyes and hands bc dont talk to me i love em

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?• Like me?

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?• Situational imo

64. What is your definition of cheating?• Romantic/Sexual advances or actions with someone that isnt your partner without exolicit permission

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?• Idk kiss me and let’s figure it out

66. What is your favourite roleplay?• Not gonna out myself

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?• Listen to music and talk

68. What is your sexual orientation?• Idk? I like someone for who they are not what they are

69. What turns you off?• I dunno honestly been too long

70. What turns you on?• haha not gonna out myself too much but uhh anything on my neck/behind my ears. Praise like fuck

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?• Never had a wet dream :)

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?• My name honestly

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?• Idk. Write something about me on their page? Tag me in smth nice? hug me? come to ohio and socialize with me? (come see the nutcracker and phantom of the opera with me this month plz plz)

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?• Idk

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?• I honestly dont know?

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?• I dunno. Wrote a song to make them feel better? Sent them a whole care package when they were depressed? idk

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?• As long as its legal idc

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?• O boyo if you wanna know you gotta dm me

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?• Literally any time my friends do something without me or with a new friend

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?• Other than friendly and parents probably about a month? i just masked it as friendly?

81. Who are five people you find attractive?•The Person who asked this 👀•Literally all my kpop boys• uhh

82. Who is the last person you hugged?•My dad

83. Who was your first kiss with?• His name was John

84. Why did your last relationship fail?• He decided his ex who was manipulative was better than me

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?• Yes. I actually have

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous / Next –>

Chapter Four

A month later, Jules had been down for a while. His depression was in full swing, with a baseball bat full of nails, directly in his face. He'd hardly even made it to class that day, let alone online, and hadn't even gone to work yet and felt like crying. It was taking a lot to do anything, and he felt awful because he wanted to talk to Not-Elías so bad, but couldn't think of words to say aside from

good afternoon

. And he'd hardly spoken yesterday or the day before either. He hated it.

Mason had been hearing less and less from Jules the past few days, even though he'd been sending an embarrassing amount of messages. Jules did message back most times, but when she did she was curt and sounded... off.

masonfucker1000: jules

masonfucker1000: hope ur days going okay

masonfucker1000: hey what if humans were like bees and we had smth like a fucking stinger and if we killed someone w it we died and it was the only legal way to murder

masonfucker1000: i was hanging out w some friends and we ended up playing nerf guns and i somehow got a foam bullet down my pants

familyjules: ah, the only other thing you've ever gotten down ur pants.

masonfucker1000: hey are you okay? im kinda getting worried

masonfucker1000: if someone else threw a salad at you ill kick em

familyjules: afternoon, not-elías.

masonfucker1000: afternoon!! FINALLY!! juliet hath emerged! hey what's been going on???

♦️

Juliet.

He called him Juliet.

Jules froze, staring at the message, feeling tears pricking at his eyes. He hadn't told him, no, but still... He was Jules. Jullian. Anything except Juliet.

He stared at it, then grumbled to himself. "Juliet. Not. Fucking. Juliet." He got out of the truck and slammed the door, angry now that he even had to go to work. He stood by his truck, still staring at the message, then accidentally threw his phone on the concrete in the parking lot and stomped on it.

Then he realized what he'd done. Fuck. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. God damn it! Whatever." He picked up the pieces and pocketed the SIM card, telling himself he'd just buy a new one tonight after work and ship it to his house. He was enough of a dumbass already.

He tossed them in the dumpster as he went inside.

Mason frowned when there was no reply. An hour passed, even. Nothing.

A day.

masonfucker1000: jules? are you okay?

Jules was still upset, and still had no fucking phone.

Two days.

masonfucker1000: jules, please if i did something just talk to me

And a day after that, he was still upset, but at least he had a phone.

Three. Jules had never gone three days without at least a half-assed two word message.

Whenever he was home, he just stared at the message, fuming. Not-Elías had called him Juliet. He had to know him somehow, then, and by his deadname.

On the third day, the anger got bad enough he ended up messaging.

familyjules: how the fuck do you know my name and why are you doing this

Mason had been having lunch with the band when he got the message. He dropped his slice of pizza, mouth still open in shock. His eyes widened, and he excused himself, muttering under his breath that he'd be right back.

masonfucker1000: shit dude, what? juliet?

masonfucker1000: I just sort of guessed that's what it was short for

masonfucker1000: what do you mean???

Jules scoffed, opening Rabbit as fast as he could and sending Not-Elías a link.

As soon as he entered the room, Jules glared at the camera.

"My goddamn name is not Juliet, so stop calling me that. I don't know who the fuck you are, but you must know me and want to get to me now for some reason, so just... fucking stop being a dick—"

Mason gaped at Jules as she immediately started yelling and threatening at him. Jesus fuck.

"—and tell me the truth before I have to figure it out myself and beat your fucking ass. I'm not in the goddamn mood to be led on some goose chase and deal with bigots like you or deal with people who hold some stupid grudge against me. Leave me alone if that's the fucking case, or I will figure shit out and do something."

Not-Elias: jules geez

Not-Elias: holy shit

Not-Elias: i dont understand why youre so angry but im sorry if i pissed you off okay?

Not-Elias: i wont call u that anymore

Not-Elias: message me when you've calmed down

Not-Elias left the room.

Jules was still angry when he left the room. He ended up closing it too, only to reopen it later that night, as well as the fansite. He private messaged Not-Elías a link, promising in some garbled text not to yell again.

familyjules: rabb.it/familyjules pls cone ib i promize not to yellll i midd u

familyjules: misa u

Mason had been thinking about.... whatever that had been with Jules. She'd called him a bigot and talked about grudges. And Juliet was a definite no. He had a theory he was a bit too freaked to think much on. He frowned when he got a just barely comprehensible message. God, was Jules crying or something? He immediately clicked the link.

Jules was leaning back in the chair, pouring himself a shot from the bottle of vodka, singing a Nosam song along with the YouTube video. "Not-Elías!" he exclaimed, speech a little slurred, grinning. He leaned forward too fast and spilled half the shot on his shirt. "Whoops."

He downed the rest to prevent more spillage and then took a sip of Coke. "Hi, I wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier and yelling at you because it's obvious you're not anyone from high school because you're good unlike them. They couldn't even fake it. And I wanted to explain— I'm trans and I was bullied, and I miss you a lot but I've been sad a lot lately and it's cold and cold is triggering and I'm gonna drink more now." He poured himself another shot.

Mason's eyes widened in surprise at the state Jules was in. And then he was concerned. Very concerned.

Not-Elias: is that vodka?

Not-Elias: careful!

And then he froze as Jules spoke. Trans.

Fuck. So, okay. Mason didn't know himself that well after all. That's fine. It was okay. He tried to convince himself of that even if he felt a little nauseous and increasingly out of control.

He'd been such a dick when he was younger. Defensive, reckless, disrespectful, not caring about anyone else and keeping emotions bottled in. He had pretended to be confident, created a version of himself for everyone else and believed it. And once he'd been called out by so many, by Chris, he'd realized what he'd turned into: this sexist, queer-phobic prick, like a jock straight out of a movie.

He worked so hard to figure out why and relearn how he thought about things, about people, thinking about things he said to make sure he wasn't hurting anybody. He spent so much time learning himself inside and out. Actually starting to like himself for once, no more surprises. And even if his chest was aching and he couldn't breathe from hearing Jules say that, he knew he liked Jules a lot. He knew he had to deal with it.

He wasn't straight.

But he didn't know what to think— his own secrecy had been different— but— of course they weren't dating, and online— and Mason couldn't possibly pretend he knew what being trans was like. Whatever reason Jules had had for not telling him was probably a good one, even though it hurt. Mason realized he hadn't responded, and frankly didn't know how.

Not-Elias: okay

Not-Elias: youve def been drinking too much

Not-Elias: jules

Not-Elias: why didnt you tell me?

Mason paused, biting his lip. He didn't want to sound mad, but he was kind of upset. And he deserved to know why, didn't he?

Jules knocked back the shot, then leaned forward to read his messages. "I said I was bullied... They did some online too and I'm super scared about the fansite being a lot of people who could gang up on me sometimes—" Jules's lip trembled a little and he shook his head and touok a deep breath. No crying in front of Not-Elías.

"I was scared when I started thinking more and liking you, 'cause you were new and different and I was having fun talking to you, but you said you were cis and straight and it was actually real hard to even tell you I'm bi. And it's okay if you don't like me now cause you're straight and I'm a dude, I understand that."

Mason frowned at how Jules looked close to tears, instantly angry at everyone who'd hurt her— who'd hurt him.

His stomach turned as he thought about all the times he misgendered him. Oh God, he suddenly felt really sick. All of those shes and hers crawling up his throat.

Not-Elias: oh jules

Not-Elias: no i

Not-Elias: i like you

He bit his lip. Get over it, Mason.

Not-Elias: i guess i'm just gay. go figure

Jules wiped at his face with his shirt, then remembered there was vodka all over it and pouted a little, staring down at it.

Whoa, there was a flash. Mason's breath caught. He definitely saw a nipple and— fuck. But, oh God, was Jules drunk.

Not-Elias: listen do me a favor, baby, no more shots, yeah?

Not-Elias: put the vodka away

Yes, it felt a little weird calling Jules baby for a moment, knowing he was a guy, but it still felt right. Mason was fucking gay.

Oh, poor Andrew. All alone.

Jules read the messages and wanted to cry even more. He felt so silly for hiding it for so long, especially if it was going like this. "Are you sure?" he asked, staring at the messages.

And then the few about the vodka came through and he pouted, though he was blushing a bit at being called baby again. "But I don't wanna. Tomorrow's my day off and drinking is fun!" He grabbed the bottle, cradling it against his chest. "'S like my baby."

Not-Elias: im sure

Not-Elias: a hundred percent

Not-Elias: even if youre a complete mess

Not-Elias: and you've drunk

Not-Elias: youre drunk

Not-Elias: too much more and youll be poisoned

Not-Elias: ill be your baby instead

Jules grinned, leaning forward. His leg was bouncing now. He set down the bottle. "All right," he said. "But you're my baby now. You gotta come hug me."

Not-Elias: nice okay thank you

Not-Elias: u should drink water if you can

Not-Elias: oh i want to. i will

Mason hated this, not being able to talk to Jules. Especially when he was in this state. He needed comfort, and Mason wanted to give it and— damn it, he wished he could just turn on his camera. Maybe he should. He seriously considered it and— no, not right now, when he was drunk.

Jules tuned into the music again and gasped, grinning. He sang along a little, nodding and getting up to get water like he was told, completely forgetting he was in just a tank top and underwear— not even boxers, just underwear. He came back still singing, then lifted the water so Not-Elías could see it. "Water."

Mason whined a bit as Jules stood up, looking away a second later, staring at the tour bus ceiling. Why did the world want to be so generous yet so cruel?

Not-Elias: and you said you're not a singer

Not-Elias: good! drink up!

Jules grinned, taking a drink and leaning back a little in his chair. "Oh—uh— is there anything you want to listen to? Or watch?"

Not-Elias: uhhhhhh

Not-Elias: spongebob?

Jules nodded, opening up Amazon Prime and attempting to search for it. He misspelled it a few times, but got it in the end. "Oh, this is the best episode," Jules said, grinning and hovering over the Bubble Bowl episode.

They watched one and a half episodes, during which Jules had moved from the chair to his bed, putting the laptop on the chair. Mason honestly wasn't paying all that much attention to Spongebob. Jules was so cute, his drunk commentary endearing.

At some point Mason realized Jules had fallen asleep. He smiled, eyes going soft.

He barely thought about it when he turned on the mic.

"Goodnight, Jules."

Jules, fast asleep, groaned a little. "G'night," he mumbled. "Lub you."

Mason's heart jumped to his throat.

"Jules? Are you awake?"

He blushed hard, cheeks hot. He probably wouldn't mention that part to Jules in the morning.

"Nuh uh," Jules hummed, pulling the blanket over himself better. "'m sleep."

Mason laughed lightly. "Really? Sleeptalker, huh? I'll let you sleep. Talk to you in the morning."

Mason had turned off his mic and hadn't even noticed he had fallen asleep.

"Mason? Why're you still on your computer? S' the middle of the night."

Mason jerked awake, blinking as he looked at Jules on-screen and then at Chris on the top bunk across, leaning over the bed and frowning at him sleepily.

Mason sighed, rubbing some sleep out of his eyes. "I think I'm gonna tell Jules," he said.

"What?" Austin grumbled from below Chris, turning and blinking wildly at Mason. His wavy hair was sticking up in all directions, like static or that kid from Meet The Robinsons.

"He said he's gonna tell Jules," Andrew growled from above Mason, grumpy from being woken up, but listening, blankets tugged tight over his otherwise naked body.

Chris supported his chin on his hand as he tried to get a better look at Mason's face. He was serious. "What changed finally?"

Mason sighed, panic returning as his brain turned the lights back on and told him he was supposed to be freaking out. "It keeps getting harder. And we didn't talk for a bit and— last night— tonight he— he's trans. And he was drunk— "

"Wait— "

"Did you say— "

Mason groaned, dropping his face into his pillow. "Don't--"

Andrew wheezed from above him. "Fuck."

"You're— "

"I get to say it! You dumbasses got to come out," Mason whined as he sat up. "I'm not straight. Probably, uh, pan."

Austin started laughing sleepily as he leaned up on his elbow to properly make fun of Mason.

"I saw it coming," Andrew mumbled. "But fuck you."

Chris bit his lip worriedly. "Okay, but remember when that one fan gave out your number and address even though the address was fake, but you had to change your number and— "

Mason sighed loudly. "Yes, I remember."

And he did remember. He'd thought about it quite a bit, all the worst case scenarios. Jules being pissed off at being royally catfished and outting him to the world in the worst way possible, or Jules being way too happy and outting him and not really caring about him, or Jules just completely cutting him off in shock and outrage. Mason shook the thoughts away. "Jules isn't like that. I just— I want her— him to know, I'm sick of lying."

Austin shrugged. "Okay. Your choice, man. Go for it."

Andrew hummed in agreement, giving the idea a thumbs up that Mason didn't even see, already falling asleep again. Chris sighed and smiled, "I'm sure you're right. You're a good judge of character."

Mason smiled, "Thanks."

In the morning, Jules woke up to find he'd fallen asleep on Rabbit with Not-Elias. He smiled, nuzzling his face against the pillow. He was so cute. So good. He remembered getting drunk and telling him everything, and he'd taken it in stride, just accepting...

He sighed, staring at the icon of Mason on the screen. He wished he knew him. This was just making him want to date him more, though he knew his own rules and didn't want to break them. It felt kinda shitty to feel like that, though, especially since Jules wanted to just... live, really, but it felt like there was always something holding him back. He wiped at his eyes, realizing he was crying a little. God, he was so pathetic.

Mason woke up again to see that Jules was awake. He smiled, then noticed he seemed kinda sad. Mason got up, washing his face and brushing his teeth, looking at himself in the mirror for a moment. Well, he looked as good as he usually did, he guessed. He guessed? Fuck. He was nervous. He groaned and put on a hoodie, yawning as he walked past the bunks and sat down, putting his earphones in.

Not-Elias: good morning! how're you feeling?

Jules jumped a little at the message tone, wiping his eyes again to make sure any trace of tears was gone. He disguised it as sleepy rubbing his eyes and smiled. "Morning, Not-Elias. I feel..." Jules considered telling the truth, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He settled on one thing. "Hungover. Kinda tired. My head hurts a little. How are you feeling?"

Not-Elias: a little flipped upside down, honestly

Not-Elias: but uh, overall, pretty good

Not-Elias: okay, actually im a little nervous

Not-Elias: hey

Not-Elias: do u know what would be cool

Not-Elias: u should play me some bass

Jules smiled. "I'm glad you're feeling okay, though. I mean— What happened is... a lot, probably. If you need to talk, I'm here. And you really want to hear me play right now? I— uh— okay." He leaned over, picking up his bass from the stand by his bed.

"I wonder if I can play it laying down." He plucked a few strings, then shifted his hands to play it. He laughed a little. "I guess I can... God, you have no idea how many times I've dropped this thing. I'm shocked it still plays." He lifted it up, grinning.

Mason smiled, watching him fondly as he grabbed the bass and played around with it, rambling and laughing. What was he even going to say? 'Hi, I'm not Elias, I'm Not-Elias, with a dash' or 'I'm Not-Elias, AKA Mason Hill AKA masonfucker1000 AKA an asshole?' or even 'Hey, it's Mason, please don't be mad at me or post about this?'.

God, everything he could think of was woefully lame. It was like his nerves had turned him into Chris.

"There's actually a really bad scratch somewhere on here, I think it's on the back... I dropped it when I first got it because my parents told me some shit, I don't even remember what, but it scared me. Oh— oh, I think it was when my grandpa died. They told me and I just... dropped it. It's funny now, because like... y'know, that was my grandpa, but— "

Mason couldn't take it any longer. He moved the mouse, cursor hovering over the camera icon. It seemed easier to do it when Jules was occupied, it made Mason less nervous than when he was looking at the screen. He turned his mic on first, then his camera, smiling. "Uh, hey," he said softly to get his attention. Hey wasn't exactly what he had wanted to say first, but fuck it. His heart was thumping in his ears.