#now my physical health
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🪵🐓 i started playing stardew valley a couple of weeks ago and shane’s eight heart event changed me forever i think
#HI HELLO I’M STILL ALIVE AND STILL AN ARTIST I PROMISE#bad mental/physical health and exam season were doing an absolute number on me these past couple of months#but i’m doing a lot better now and it’s summer break!!! so expect more frequent/consistent art from me again :D#i am so deeply hyperfixated on stardew valley at the moment!!! really happy i started playing it it has been healing my soul#this one’s for you cool shane people of tumblr#stardew valley#stardew valley fanart#stardew valley art#sdv#sdv fanart#sdv art#stardew valley shane#stardew shane#sdv shane#stardew fanart#nem art :)
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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.
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#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended#this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty#but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion#I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for#but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved#not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence#depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better#it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think#and it rustles my jimmies#answered#anonymous
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
#ganondoodles talks#personal#rare personal rant#theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced#like man#i thought being different was the whole point#like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing#yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu#climate? ethic? whats that#argh#sorry this needed to get out#recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on#and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time#like that last thing especially pissed me tf off#but i cant afford to lose this job#im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real#i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man#i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that#but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me
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Sometimes you’ve just have to feel down.
You don’t always have to fix it. You can’t always fix it/change it/lighten it. Sometimes that’s just the way you gotta feel.
And that’s okay.
Doesn’t mean you can’t try. But, at a certain point, acceptance is better than beating your head against the brick wall of uncomfortable, unmovable feelings. When you reach that point, you’re just piling on new ones.
Let it be.
#mental health#mental illness#I’m sick#my mind does not want to accept this#it is not okay with everything we’re missing out on#everything we’re not doing#all the positive things we’re not feeling#brain!#we#are#sick#can we just chill about it#we are not going to feel good mentally or physically right now#we just aren’t
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We'll never have dream smp again you'll never get to be a mcyt during the lockdown
Every waking moment of my being was dedicated to dream smp. I was never more disconnected from people and more intertwined with thousands of others.
I'll never be a teenage mcyt people blorbo post about and I'll never go back
But that's just me talking without my meds ...
#im now back on them but for an appointment skipped three days#fuck anyone whos an ex dsmp fan who acts like it was horrible. it wasnt. we'll never have that again#ive been in a hospital for three hours and can't stop this dsmp mental illness#objectively the pandemic was horrible for my mental and physical health in ways yet to be repaired#but it allowed for a time in space and internet culture that is now unreachable. it will never happen again#and maybe it shouldnt but god....#mika-posts#dream smp#dsmp
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Wyll breaking up with the player character if Ulder dies so Wyll must become the Duke makes me wanna throw up sobbing because he actually thinks that just because his father's first duty being to Baldur's Gate made him a Bad Father that Wyll himself will inevitably be a Bad Lover because surely no one could match love with duty if his father couldn't, unknowing he has more love in one hand than his father had in his entire body. fuck
#More in my reblog#“my father taught me more lessons than I can count” yeah dog they were called CAUTIONARY TALES 😭😭😭#“pull me too close and I'm destined to hurt you” FUCKIGN. BITING YOU#“a champion's heart is as sharp as a new blade” SO CRAZY I GOT THIS SICK ASS ARMOUR. TRY ME.#I'm actually in physical pain over this. Wyll my love.#I need to rip ulder in two with my bare hands right now.#sorry I JUST saw the breakup scene for the first time today and I haven't stopped thinking about it it's making me ill with sadness#he didn't even break up with ME but it fucking feels like it goddamn#bg3#Wyll Ravengard#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 analysis#oh my GOD and the fact that he offers one last dance. I'mgoing to ufckingexplode#and he spends five whole seconds just. holding the character. not even dancing.#I watched the version with him and astarion ofc I don't romance wyll myself (lesbianism)#makes me wanna write a fucking fic (derogatory)#why the fuck is everyone so ill over astarion when mr insane mental health issues is RIGHT here (i know why. but still)
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Batman Annual #25
Before Talia took him in, before he was dunked in the pit to have his memories restored, even when operating purely on survival instinct, he always split a meal with the other homeless people. It may not have been essential to his survival, but caring about and helping other people when he couldn’t even help himself was just always such an intrinsic part of Jason’s core.
#so much so that it prevailed over basic self-preservation#my guy lost 90% of his cognitive function and he’s still out here helping people in any way he can#my post#new headcanon: that’s why he stole all 4 tires. because he wasn’t just feeding himself in crime alley.#or at least he was planning to expand his work now that he had more confidence in his ability to feed and care for himself#I mean he also isn’t the type to brag about his good deeds yk? we all know he was putting up a tough guy façade when Bruce found him#a mutual asked abt Jason’s white streak so I directed them to hush which ofc reminded me of this book#rather than it being exclusively a pit thing imo it makes more sense for it to be a combination of actual health related issues#like the chronic prolonged mental and physical stress he had to endure coupled with the fact that superboy’s punch kickstarted his body#in ways that are unknown to modern science#and then the pit also had a hand in it (probably??)#(imo). like Talia doesn’t have it. neither do Damian or Ra’s or anyone else who’s been in the pit.#jason todd#dc#batman annual 25#comic panels
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wizzy was down for maintenance so I drew my Young Wizard while I (impatiently) waited
#chickenscratch#w101#wizzy101#wizzy fandom#wizard101#the young wizard#Galathea (Eurydice)#I've reached lvl 97!!#my hc that the more magic a wizard uses the more it takes over their features physically. like the fire teachers hair or#those black eyes on malistaire. in this case my YW hair is a cloud and becomes light or stormy depending on her mood#i call her Galathea but you cannot choose that name in game so i go by Eurydice instead <//3#not that it matters considering none of the npcs call you by name anyway dskjafjd#the frankenbunnys name is Gigi. i love her shes great she heals me and freaks other players out lmao#dont remember any of the lore surrounding the frankenbunny so my idea is that Gigi is a botched nercomancy attempt by my YW#half stuffed animal. half actual hare#Galathea had a bad mental health episode early into arc 1 and Made herself a Friend#anyway don’t let diviners perform necromany you get THAT#i realise now the words i was looking for were ‘living taxidermy’
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wishing i could draw while walking around
#talkys#physical health so bad bc im either in bed or at my desk and i wanna go walk around in the park or smthng but#if i go to the park i wanna just sit and draw at the park.#i dont want to not be drawing i just want to be drawing foreverr#im walking around the house rn and thinking about how i cld be drawing right now#we have that walking pad and i dont want to get on it bc thats 1 hour that i cld be using to loaf and daydream or draw#dpes this make sense#god my health is gonna be even more so sucks in the future 💔
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hey folks, things haven’t been going very smoothly around here so i’m gonna be on tumblr hiatus until I finish the yunwoosan oneshot; at that point i’ll take stock of the situation and see where i go from there
#igby’s chatter#dw even if i decide to fully step back from tumblr then i’ll still drop a link to the fic on ao3 here#i’d like to keep using this webbed hellsite but idk i gotta figure some stuff out#it’s just kinda undeniable by now that my energy levels & general mental/physical health are easier to manage when i’m on a tumblr break#and i love this place & the ppl here so i don’t wanna let go of it but i can’t keep throwing myself against a wall either#idk i just gotta test out what happens if i take a longer break; see if the ups-and-downs stabilise a bit
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amita saying that with season 1, it took 8 episodes for kaz to say "i need you" and now she says in season 2, there's going to be an "i want you". which is literally confirming that in episode 8 of season 2, or at least towards the end of the season, we're getting the "how will you have me" track and all of that stay. stay in ketterdam. stay with me. and what would be the point? i want— i want you to— i want you. and how will you have me kaz? how will you have me? fully clothed, gloves on, head turned away so our lips can never touch? i will have you without armor kaz brekker. or i will not have you at all. i need a heartrender right now
#this is doing wonders to my mental and physical health right now#grishaverse#six of crows#soc#shadow and bone#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#kanej
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Obsessed with how u draw Erik's dumptruck thighs. Shocked that man can pull any clothes over those chicken drumsticks
these compliments are getting more and more colorful thank you so much my friend i do my best
#snap chats#jlAKJWLEKJ#i was chilling with my dog and i coughed too loud and scared him i need to be SHOT#but thank you ... i try to make erik look like a whole fridge unit for the wellness of my mental health#see im cursed to remember erik has like. a weird clothes beam(?? its not a beam they just flash on) or some shit like maybe thats the ticke#he doesnt have to worry about physically putting on clothes when he can just. materialize it ig.#we're moving on now point is Thank You i will continue to draw erik with tree trunk thighs
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The very funny thing about having finally recovered from depression after being depressed for literally decades is. Even though I'm no longer depressed. My kneejerk initial reaction when I get overwhelmed is like "fuck it time to die" and then, because I have spent a lot of time and intention and money on therapy, my IMMEDIATE next thought is "no you won't babe, eat some broccoli. Go for a run. Go see ur friends" and the moment I've done any combination of those things I'm like singing showtunes about how good life is. Like ok brain i understand you spent the last fifteen years in a critical state but maybe we can do the broccoli first next time. Vegetables before defaulting to Habitual Symptoms please.
#Mental health#depression#Suicide mention#It's like when you heal from an injury.#A while back I fucked up my knee.#Limped on it for weeks#And it hurt for longer#To the point where I was always mentally bracing whenever i stood up from a chair#Ready to hurt#So that when i “graduated” physical therapy#I was still bracing every single time i moved#Ready for it to hurt. But it didn't#And like. Will that injury still tweak a little sometimes? If I Don't Take Care Of it?#Yeah. But it's almost totally gone. And for months I was shocked every time I braced to hurt and there was nothing there#So when I get stressed i like. Preemptively brace to be suicidal#to hate myself and my life again#And then .... I'm kind of surprised when I... don't.#I know my depression is cured because i know what it feels like to be depressed. Just like i know what it's like to hurt.#And the absence still strikes me sometimes#the way the sun shines through a gap in the trees that's created when you cut down something diseased and dead.#And you're like. God rays. For years there was a shadow here and now there are sunbeams.#No-- there were always sunbeams.
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Day 70 of posting a kitten until I can foster again
I called this baby Ravi, because for a while I thought she was a boy.
Ravi means "sun" and is one of the names of Surya, the Sun deity in Hinduism. These kittens and their mama came to me on 1 July so I gave them summer names.
Dark-haired kittens, man, they're so difficult to sex. Luckily i did figure it out before they went to the vet to get neutered lmao.
#kittens#cats#animals#foster kittens#adopt don't shop#fostering saves lives#a kitten every day#the summer kittens#now that my mental health is a bit better maybe I'll finally be able to make some more progress towards being able to foster again#if my physical health wants to cooperate that is
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I'm a little annoyed at the amount of focus in the fandom of Gon someday getting his nen back. Because like, hear me out on this, but his lack of nen is such a relatable circumstance for me as a disabled person!!
Gon pushed his limits and payed the price. Now he isn't able to do what he once was, while everyone else around him continues to be capable. He returns home, a simple, easily manageable life and must find out what he can do as he is now.
To deny that journey of him figuring out what to do with himself now by giving him his nen back feels very wrong to me. There's narratives to be explored in his parallels to disability thst I would love to see more!
A couple examples include: Gon having to slow down and meet his body where it's at, rather then using force like he became used too. Gon distressed with being less capable then both his friends and his past self. Gon coming to terms with that weakness and finding other ways to dedicate himself.
Let him have his (not really) disability!!! Stop trying to erase it in your post canon portrayals where he magically gets his nen back :-(
#hunter x hunter#hunter x hunter meta#hxh meta#gon freecss#rambles#I used to be a professional Taekwondo artist before my health took a nose dive#disabled character who used to be very physically capable but now struggle mean so much to me#hxh
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Just a reminder that if you ever feel a lump or unusual pain in your chest/breasts you should get it checked out just to be safe. Especially if it’s been there for more than a day or two or is causing you discomfort, it’s good to ensure it’s not serious or that if it is you can get the right treatment. Trust your body to know when something is off!
#planned parenthood is a great affordable option#now I’m getting an ultrasound for a lump in my chest :/#and if I hadn’t gone I wouldn’t have known I needed one!#trust your gut#text#suggestions#positivity#self care#physical health#self health#healthcare#breast/chest pain#breast pain#breast health#breast cancer awareness
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