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hoshologies · 1 year ago

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ALL GREEK LOVE, LEE H.

synopsis — you spent the entire summer telling your family that you weren't going to join a sorority. now not only are you an initiated member of delta eta sigma, but you've been elected to the social chair position for you chapter. that's all well and good until heeseung lee, the newly elected social chairman for lambda rho and well-known in the greek community, reaches out to you to start planning runouts between your respective chapters. and now you're spending a lot more time with the cutest boy you've ever met.

genres &&. warnings — romance, fluff, meet-cute, smut, strangers to friends to lovers!au, college!au, greek life!au &&. underage drinking, afab!reader, tipsy sex, dry humping, oral (f!receiving), fingering, overstimulation.

word count — 15.7k.

from the author — not to be totally sorority girl, but the way i see greek life depicted in college au fics is CRAZY. now that i'm back hardcore into my kpop stan era, i rewatched the drunk-dazed mv and was like hmm... so the ultimate plan here was to write heeseung filth but also portray greek life a little more accurately because even if i'm not a huge fan, one thing about me is i'm gonna make sure y'all KNOW that greek life isn't just parties every weekend.

jokes aside, i really hope you enjoy this fic and my first real return to writing. likes, reblogs, and feedback are always welcome. and honestly, if you have any questions about greek life that you just have to know the answer to, i'm an open book.

if you enjoyed it, feel free to buy me a ko-fi!

the entire summer before starting your freshman year of college, you had told your family that you weren’t going to join a sorority. in your mind, there was a specific mold that one needed to fit into to join a sorority and quite frankly, you checked none of the boxes of those stereotypes.

yet here you sit, months later, in your sorority’s chapter meeting. and you’ve just been elected to the social chair position of the chi nu chapter of delta eta sigma.

truthfully, you’re not quite sure how you ended up here. you hadn’t formally rushed the week before school, but a couple of drunk girls at a frat party at the beginning of the semester had told you that you should rush their sorority. maybe you’d been a little desperate to branch out or maybe you were just a little curious of what rushing looked like, but a few days later at the student organization fair, you’d found the booth for the sorority the girls had told you they belonged to, delta eta sigma, and signed up for their informal rush.

by the end of october, you had been extended a bid, assigned a big, and promptly initiated into the chapter in what you jokingly referred to as a cult ritual (how could you describe it any other way? all white outfit? candles? promises to not divulge secrets about rituals that happen behind closed doors?).

and now, just three weeks after officially joining the chapter, you’ve ended up on the programming board somehow. you’d gotten a call from the selection board while sitting in the drive-thru of mcdonalds, waiting impatiently for your order of fries and a sprite as a treat for doing well on your gen psych quiz. the girl who’d called you said you’d made “quite the impression” on the sorority since accepting the bid and that they (including the chapter advisor) thought you’d be the perfect fit for the social chair.

“it’s a solo position, so you won’t have a co-chair like community service does, but given your grades so far this semester and the impact you’ve made on the chapter already, we would really love to see what you can do in this position! would you be interested?”

so really, how could you say anything but yes? you still don’t think you fit all that perfectly into the chapter, but they were giving you an opportunity to get involved and to make yourself fit. your name is announced for the social chair, one of your senior pictures pasted up on the powerpoint, and the girls around you smile and snap their fingers. from the executive board seats up front, your big smiles at you, eyes sparkling with something akin to pride.

a few days later, as you’re getting lunch at the student union, your phone screen lights up with a notification from groupme. a name you vaguely recognize is paired with a message that gets cut off after a few words.

heeseung lee: hey! this is heeseung from lambda rho and…

as you sit down with your salad and dr. pepper, you click the notification and read it in full. at the very top of the new message thread is heeseung’s picture and it clicks where you recognize him from. he’s friends with your big and he’s involved in a few of the bigger student organizations on campus, namely the activities board, so you’ve seen him in the student union fairly often.

[1:36 pm] heeseung lee: hey! this is heeseung from lambda rho! i’m friends with liv and she told me that you just got elected as the new social chair for your sorority. i just got slated into the same position for my frat.

[1:36 pm] heeseung lee: i know we won’t start running things until next semester, but i just wanted to reach out and touch base with you. i’m really looking forward to planning runouts with you next year :]

[1:37 pm] heeseung lee: sorry. i hope that wasn’t too weird. i guess i’m just a little too excited and want to get a bit of a headstart on things. have a good day!

you laugh to yourself, shaking your head as you set the phone down to take a bite of salad. before getting involved in greek life, you always assumed sorority girls and frat guys were airheaded and mean, people who peaked in high school, trying desperately to drag those glory days out. obviously since then, you’ve come to realize that while it is true in some occasions, most times, greek life members are the opposite.

heeseung, who you’ve never spoken to before, is proving that.

[1:42 pm] hi heeseung! not weird at all, i promise. and i’m really excited to plan events with you next semester too :]

by the beginning of february, you haven’t done much with your position. granted, the semester has only really been in full swing for about a week and a half and you have two full semesters to do plenty of things, but you’re itching to start planning. the binder you were given after the officer transition ritual has so many good ideas, everything from runouts with frats and sororities to both formal and semiformal.

while you’re brainstorming ideas for potential social events late on a tuesday night, your phone lights up from its spot on your nightstand, the short bell sound ringing out. you reach for it absentmindedly as you finish writing down the idea you had (rent out skating rink??? check budget). since the beginning of the school year, you’ve become desensitized to the groupme icon when it appears in your notifications, so much so that you barely register heeseung’s name upon first glance. it takes a second look for you to realize who’s texted you.

[9:12 pm] heeseung lee: sorry for texting so late. i just wanted to see if you wanted to meet up some time and start on some ideas for a runout?

[9:12 pm] heeseung lee: obviously not now!! but if you’re free some time this week, we could meet somewhere and talk. i spent all of winter break brainstorming stuff, so i’d really like to run it by you if that’s ok.

[9:14 pm] hi again heeseung. i was actually planning on getting lunch tomorrow at the student union after i’m done with class at 11 if you’re free then?

the second you press send, you immediately start second guessing yourself. does it come off like you’re asking him to have lunch with you? because that wasn’t your intention. really, you just meant that you’re going to be on campus proper for a little bit and wanted to offer to meet before you got lunch. not that it would be a bad thing if he asked if you could get lunch together; liv likes heeseung well enough and you’ve seen him around, and he really does seem nothing but nice, so lunch really couldn’t hurt— okay, take a breath. it is not that serious.

you take a deep breath and then let your muscles go lax as you exhale. better.

it feels like ages pass before he texts back. you’re worried you’ve scared him off, but it really shouldn’t be that stressful. it’s just a text and he’s the one who wanted to meet up in the first place anyways; you just offered a time and location. but finally, your phone dings again and his name lights up your screen.

[9:21 pm] heeseung lee: actually that works perfect!! i get out of class at the same time and usually grab lunch at the u before heading to the activities board office. wanna meet by the dining area next to the office?

[9:21 pm] sounds like a plan!! i’ll see you then!

heeseung, you realize as you set your phone down and put away your binder for the night, is the only social chair of any of the greek organizations who has reached out to you to start getting the ball rolling. he seems to be just as anxious as you are about doing this job well, which makes you feel at least a little validated. nervous and jittery though you may be about meeting him for the first time tomorrow after only having chatted with him over text twice, the idea of him feeling the same as you brings a strange form of comfort. with enough of it, you actually start looking forward to seeing him tomorrow as you lay down to sleep, mind running a mile a minute with what it’ll be like to meet him after all of the things you’ve heard about him from liv. by the time you slip into the embrace of sleep, anxiety has boiled down into anticipation.

at 11:02 the next morning, heeseung nearly scares the hell out of you when he shows up at the designated meeting spot. you’re so invested in your twitter scroll that you don’t notice when he walks up. it’s not until he says a soft “hi” that you jump and almost drop your phone in the process. when you look up, there’s a worried look on his face.

“sorry! i didn’t mean to scare you!”

after a moment to catch your breath, you shake your head and wave his worry off, though the gesture doesn’t do much to make that worried look on his (undeniably pretty) face. “it’s okay, heeseung. really.”

to really seal the deal, you shoot him a gentle smile, trying to prove that your heart isn’t about ready to give out anymore. you feel blessed when he returns it, all quirked up at the corners and smile lines and soft, plush cheeks. silence falls, the two of you smiling and staring at each other like idiots until heeseung shakes himself out of his stupor.

“anyways…” he clears his throat and moves his gaze towards the food court. “what did you want to get to eat? my treat.”

you look up at him, at the way he’s pointedly not looking at you and instead examining the restaurants just beyond the dining areas. you know, the restaurants that have been the same for the last five years probably and will be here for another five, the ones he’s grabbed food from at least a couple of times since the semester started and even more since the beginning of the school year.

“you don’t have to buy me lunch, heeseung. it’s-”

he finally turns to look at you again, that same easy smile still pulling his features into a soft form of happiness. “it’s no problem, really. just an act of good faith. all greek love and whatnot, you know?”

you laugh a little at that, conceding but allowing him to choose where he wants to get lunch from since he’s the one paying and you don’t really have a preference. by the time you’re sat opposite each other at a table with meals from the burger stall, your stomach is rumbling. you’re about half of the way through your burger when heeseung looks up from his fries, clearing his throat to get your attention.

“so…” he starts. it’s clear he hadn’t planned what he wanted to say before catching your focus, so an awkward silence settles over him, eyes on you but focused somewhere off behind you like he’s looking through you instead. you tilt your head, lean in close, which snaps him out of the trance and he restarts. “right, ideas for events. i have a binder from the last social chair of my frat with a bunch of things he did during his time.”

“oh! i do, too!” you interject. “there’s a bunch of stuff that the last girl did and then things some of the girls before her did too.”

heeseung’s grin breaks back across his face, bright and warm; you swear, a smile from this boy alone could break up the threatening winter storm currently hanging over campus. “there’s a bunch of good ideas in mine. but i’m not quite sure how well they’d work right now because of the weather.”

“are most of the ideas outside?” you inquire, taking a sip of your soda while he confirms your suspicions. when you put the cup back down, you wave off his concern. “no worries then. almost all of mine are ones that can be inside, so we could go through those if you want!”

heeseung nods and smiles that morning sunlight smile of his, and you can’t move quick enough to pull the thin pink binder out of your tote bag. he clears away some of the trash from the table so you can lay out the binder, intro page on full display. for the next five minutes, the pair of you pore over the pages upon pages of ideas, sleek white cut through with black ink that lists the idea, the locations, how much it costs.

you’re so invested in going over everything with him that you hardly acknowledge when heeseung stands and moves into the open seat beside you so neither one of you is craning your neck. you simply adjust the binder so you can read through the pages comfortably. it isn’t until heeseung points one out excitedly and you look up in startle that you finally notice that he isn’t a foot away but inches, noses just centimeters apart.

right now, this is the most compromising position you could possibly be in with a boy you hardly know and you find yourself praying that nobody from either of your chapters decides to walk by. of course, neither of you have anything to hide – this is a simple brainstorming session, of course, absolutely nothing more – but liv and your small group of friends would never let you live this down if they saw it.

heeseung clears his throat after seconds that stretch into years and you break your gaze from his painfully (how can you be blamed for staring? he’s that soft kind of pretty that hypnotizes). “um… so i think rollerskating could be fun…”

it is a good event that your sorority has done with the other frats and sororities in the past, one that you were playing around with as a potential plan to pitch to him. the fact that he picked it out on his own accord makes you bristle with something akin to pride, a feeling so warm and comforting it has you leaning just a little closer to him.

let the girls see me, you think as your sweater-clad shoulder brushes against his own. there are worse things they could catch me doing.

“actually… this was one of the ones i was going to suggest if you didn’t find any that you were really interested in…” you say quietly, voice nearly lost in the din of the dining area of the student union.

heeseung looks at you, blinking slow and round and soft, as if each flutter of his eyelids is a moment of his brain processing your words. “really… maybe it’s a sign…?”

his voice is just as soft, matching your energy in one swift go. you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing as you, if he’s feeling that it seems like you’ve known one another forever despite only knowing each other for fifteen minutes max; it seems like your souls themselves are in complete synergy, so why would it be so farfetched to wonder if maybe you knew each other in a different life to have caused that synchrony?

you laugh a little and shrug, shoulder brushing against his softly; the movement is short and sweet, but your heart rises in you like the high tide, washing through your veins with foam and salt and the kind of breeze only the ocean can bring, chill and warm all at once. “maybe so.”

silence settles over the table like sand stirred on the ocean floor, the both of you lost in your own worlds. heeseung has dragged his soda to this side of the table and sips absentmindedly, gaze focused miles beyond the horizon of the hallway. he’s completely checked out when your consciousness wanders back into your body and you take the moment to study him a little: the even slope of his nose, high cheekbones paired with plush skin, long eyelashes that brush the apex of his cheeks when he blinks, a flutter of dark against light.

there are worse boys you could be caught staring at.

you’re still thinking about your lunch with heeseung hours later, even when you’re out getting your weekly tuesday night ice cream with your big. liv is going on about how her professor for her linguistics class pissed her off during lecture today, but you’re not absorbing a single word of any of it. you remember vaguely that he openly disagreed with her during the lecture and they got into a debate in front of the whole class, but beyond that, you don’t know much else.

“god, he’s just the worst. i can’t believe– alright, you’re in the stratosphere right now. what’s going on?”

you snap back to reality, eyes wide and goosebumps prickling up under the sleeves of your sweater. you shake your head, trying to brush away the conversation she’s trying to prompt, even though it’ll be futile because liv can’t let things go for the life of her. “nothing! everything’s fine, i swear.”

liv’s eyes narrow and a single dark eyebrow quirks up. “yeah, i’m not buying it.”

you glare playfully at her, eating a spoonful of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. when you swallow, you answer with a pointed, “when do you buy anything i say? really, liv. it’s nothing.”

“did someone say something to you? i’m part of panhellenic and on the all-greek council. if someone did something, i can handle it.”

you shake your head earnestly and wave a hand for extra emphasis. “olivia. seriously. nothing happened.”

your big is silent for a few moments, studying you intently. her shady blue eyes, usually wistful and giving the impression of being miles away herself, cut right down to your very bone, as if she’ll find the answer she’s looking for written into your skin or soul, carved into your heart. eventually, she sighs and slumps back against the booth.

“alright, fine. i’ll believe you this time,” she says in a voice that hints at disappointment. “but you’d tell me if someone did say something to you, right? i’m serious about getting things taken care of if someone does something like that to you.”

you smile, reach across the table, rest your hand over her. “yes, liv. i would tell you if somebody treated me badly. you’re the only friend i have who would be willing to go to jail if needed. but i promise the situation doesn’t call for that right now.”

she perks up a little at your words and takes a deep breath, nodding. she’s back to her bubbly self, resuming her rant about her asshole linguistics professor who definitely shouldn’t have tenure. the whiplash her behavior gives you definitely just secured her an award for “most melodramatic” at formal in april (which, fuck you have to start planning that soon too).

you remain checked into liv’s rant, assenting when she asks you for your opinions on this professor who you’ve never met and never plan on meeting, and offering advice when she wants it. but you still find yourself wandering off at times, mind focused on heeseung.

you’re not sure why you don’t want to tell her about meeting with the boy earlier; she’s one of his friends and she’s always spoken so highly about him, so you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. in fact, she’s mentioned in passing a couple of times (mostly when she’s undeniably hammered) that she thinks you and heeseung would make a cute couple, even though she’s never seen the two of you interact, let alone exist in the same room.

but there’s something special about the thirty minutes you shared with heeseung. you met in a public place, sure, but something about it felt and still feels so sacred to you. it’s something you want to keep a secret for at least a little while. that soft sunshine smile and the low tide brushes of shoulders are things that, for now, belong solely to you and heeseung. it won’t kill liv to be left out of the loop for a while.

“do you think we should have it closer to midterms?” heeseung’s voice is pure static, like he’s going through a tunnel, even though there’s only half a campus worth of distance between you.

the two of you have graduated from groupme dms to phone calls over the course of three days. heeseung is saved affectionately in your phone as sseung with the deer emoji, one that you picked out as he sat across from you after you’d exchanged numbers; he doesn’t know about it, but he reminds you often of a deer caught in headlights with the way he stares at you all wide-eyed when you try to catch his attention.

“maybe? but people have to study. i’m not sure how often your guys are in the library, but i see at least thirty girls at the library every single night, so i’m not sure how willing they’d be to give up a night of studying, even if it is only for an hour, that close to midterms.”

heeseung’s small, thoughtful hmm is audible over the speaker and you smile to yourself over a basket of clean laundry. you’ve spent maybe three hours max with him over the last couple of days and already you have a pretty decent grasp on his personality and habits. right now, you can picture the way he likely looks up from his phone or planner and stares off past the beige cinderblock wall of his dorm room, turning possibilities over in his head.

“no, you’re right about that. i didn’t even consider it.”

you shrug as though he can see you, folding a pair of sweats and setting them to the side. “i’d definitely like for it to be soonish though. it doesn’t have to be planned super far in advance, you know what i mean? we’ve still got… what? a month until midterms?”

“i think so, yeah.”

you nod to yourself, hanging up one of your shirts. “okay, so what about two weeks from now? that lands us right in between now and midterms, so it’d be a happy medium.”

he’s silent on the other end of the line and you pause in your hanging of another shirt, worried that he’s thinking you’re stupid. of course, heeseung would never think anything like that about anyone because he’s the sweetheart to end all sweethearts. still, you worry because what this boy thinks of you is ridiculously imperative to your day to day functions.

three days, you remind yourself. you’ve known him for three days. there’s no reason for his opinions to hold this much weight.

you wonder if heeseung knows just how easy it is to like him, to be around him; if he knows just how much you want to see him all the time because he’s completely taken over your every waking thought. liv’s comments about him made in passing never could have truly captured just how amazing he is, nice and caring and so so pretty. you’re almost embarrassed to be this head over heels for him, but when he laughs over the phone or focuses all of his attention on you over a table in the food court, that mortification burns away into something soft and sweet and slow.

“i think that’s a great idea. not too soon, so we can make sure our chapters know it’s happening, but not too late that it disrupts any midterm studying.”

you breathe a sigh of relief and smile to yourself, resting your hands against the lip of the laundry basket. the rational part of your brain knew he was going to agree, but the part of you that so desperately craves his approval was disgustingly terrified that you wouldn’t receive it. now that you have, though, a heat rushes through you, pride warm and bright because you offered a good solution to the minuscule obstacle.

“yeah, exactly!”

you can just imagine the grin on heeseung’s face right now, delicate like freshly fallen snow. the image fills you with the giddiness of a high school girl, glad to be the one to have caused such a beautiful sight. “okay, cool. i’ll talk about it with the executive board, get it approved and whatnot, but i think we should be set, besides who’s paying for what.”

“what do you mean?” you question, brows furrowing as you finish up the last of your laundry.

“what do you mean?” there’s a playful, teasing edge in his voice. “someone has to pay to book the rink and the shoes, and don’t you think there should be snacks?”

“oh… yeah, i guess so.”

“so i was thinking we’d cover the booking and you could cover the food… but only if you’re cool with that! obviously, it’s not a big deal or anything, but i figured we should get that in order too so we can a specific date set and everything.”

“no, no! that works fine for me! i honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead, so it’s a good thing you did.” the line falls silent for a few moments, static crackling softly between you. there’s just something about the idea that you’re so close yet so far from each other, physically distant but holding each other close like this over a quiet cellphone line. it’s comforting to have him like this, you find.

“but yeah…” you break the stillness with your voice soft so as to not completely shatter the tranquility you’ve cultivated here. “that’s… that’s good thinking, heeseung.”

“hanks…” his own words mimic the same volume, nearly lost in the haze of the phone. “so… i’ll run it by the exec board and let you know?”

you hum a quick mhmm and tell him that you’ll do the same. there should be no reason that you’ll be denied, but the fact that liv, seeing as she’s vice president of programming, is part of the exec board and will find out that you’ve been, at the very least, talking to heeseung on a semi-regular basis (see: every day this week since tuesday afternoon) is a little nerve wracking, mostly because you’re ninety-nine percent sure she’s been hinting at trying to set the two of you up.

and when you say hinting, you mean pointing him out on campus or at parties and saying something like “really, i think you two would get along so well! you should go and talk to him.”

she was right about that, but the last thing you need right now is her finding out that you are catching feelings, all without her meddling. but you’ll make peace with the fact because you have to.

liv sidles up to you two weeks later on a thursday night, knit-clad arms crossed over her chest. you don’t even have to look at her to know she’s wearing a smug expression right now. “so…”

you don’t even physically react to her presence, instead choosing to gaze out over the rollerskating rink in your little college town. “so… what, liv?”

she nudges you with her shoulder and leans with her back against the wall separating the rink floor from the carpet of the sitting area. “you and heeseung, huh? i’ve been telling you for ages that the two of you would get along!”

you scoff playfully and roll your eyes, finally turning your head to look at her. “can you not start sentences like that?”

“like what?” she asks innocently.

“like heeseung and i have something going on. all we did was plan one runout together. we’ve only met, like, one time in person.”

you regret the words almost as soon as they leave the tip of your tongue because the second she hears the phrase “in person,” she’s already causing a scene. even though her voice is somewhat drowned out by the music blasting over the speakers, the absolute tenacity with which she gestures with her entire body draws more attention than it should. melodramatic as per usual.

“in person? when was this? and why was i not informed?” the questions liv asks a million times come out more like exclamations than anything else, too caught up in melodramatic distress to adjust the tone of her voice correctly.

you shrug absently, turning your head back towards the rink. heeseung is standing on the opposite side, talking to a few of the guys from his frat. he looks nice in his blue and green sweater and loose jeans, brown hair tousled from the winter breeze outside. “a couple weeks ago. and i didn’t tell you because it just wasn’t that important. we literally only had lunch just to talk about ideas for this.”

liv whines your name and stomps a foot like a child throwing a tantrum. “yeah, but i’m your big. i wanna know these things! and i’ve also been trying to set you two up forever! you didn’t think i’d want to know that you’d finally met him, even if it wasn’t because of anything i’d plan? my feelings are hurt.”

“first, this is exactly why one of the awards for formal this semester is going to be most over dramatic and exactly why you’re going to win,” you start, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. “second, i knew you would want to know, but i also knew this is how you’d react. i didn’t think you’d want to know about us setting up an event together, like… there’s no tea to spill or whatever. it’s just boring stuff. i don’t even know him that well.”

a bold-faced lie if you’ve ever told one; you know heeseung down to the cologne he puts on every morning. and maybe there was a little more to the event planning sessions. at least five times over the past two weeks, heeseung has approached you either in the food court or at the library, and taken the seat opposite of you to chat and study a bit. not to mention, you’ve texted every single day since the two of you officially met for the first time.

but again: nothing liv needs to know. heeseung, for now, is just your little secret. the conversations you’ve shared, the little details you know about him, the sweater he’d given you a few days ago when you’d gotten cold at the library and your own sweater had gotten soaking wet due to rain and your lack of an umbrella, those are your things, special and personal and entirely yours.

“ugh. the two of you are so boring,” liv moans dramatically, tipping her head back. “i hope you hang out more after this, but only if you tell me about it.”

you shrug and glance back across the rink. heeseung has shifted positions, his arms crossed over the railing and by some stroke of luck, he’s looking at you, looking otherworldly under the shifting blue and purple lights. he smiles softly, just a quick phantom of a grin, and the only think you can do is return it with that same gentleness and warmth.

“maybe,” you say, glancing over at liv and then back at heeseung. “i guess we’ll just have to see.”

a week later, you’re sitting in your dorm room on a friday night, finalizing edits for a midterm paper, when there’s a banging at your door fifteen minutes before ten.

“heyyy! let me innn!” liv’s voice is airy and slurred through the door, so you can already guess what she’s here for.

with a heavy sigh, you stand and make your way to the door, opening it and finding your big leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. she’s dressed in her usual party attire: ripped jeans, black tank top, dirty shoes reserved specifically for the sticky basement floors of frat houses. she’s holding a metal water bottle in her hands; you can only guess what she’s mixed in it tonight.

“what’s up, liv?” you ask, leaning your shoulder against the doorframe, even though you don’t need an answer. you hadn’t anticipated her being here, so you’re already decked out in your comfy night clothes, prepared for a night in only.

“lambda is throwing a party and you’re going with me,” she says peppily, practically jumping up and throwing herself into your room.

“liv-“

she whips around on her heels to face you, eyes glowing in the soft gold of your fairy lights. “no fighting me on this. you’ve been working hard and you need a break. so you’re going to dress like the hot bitch you are and then we’re going to lambda.”

liv is rooted to the spot, though she sways a little on her feet, and makes it known without words that she is not moving until you get ready for this dumb frat party. eager to get her drunken glare off of you, you sigh and nod, closing the door behind you, shutting off your desk light, and moving towards your wardrobe, rifling through the hangers to find a proper outfit.

you’ve been to lambda rho’s house before and it is nothing to write home about… unless, of course, you’re talking about how absolutely filthy the basement is; they have the best sized basement out of all of the frats on campus, but you swear they have never done anything to clean the floor. the first time you went, you’d been having a great time drinking well-mixed jungle juice and dancing to the best songs of the 2010s when you noticed that every step you took sounded like velcro. the floor was so sticky that you were literally having to put pressure behind pulling your shoes from the concrete. it totally killed the vibe.

but the jungle juice and occasional jello shots are great, so you persevere. besides, lambda throws the best parties on campus and you’re clearly the person to trust on party hot takes since you only go back to frats you have a good time at (sorry, sigma pi).

plus, heeseung is in lambda rho and he has to be there since he’s the social chair and all, so… you note that out of the maybe five parties you’ve been to there since the beginning of the school year, you’ve never once seen him. granted, he’s only required to be at any parties hosted while he’s the social chairman, so maybe he just didn’t go to any last semester. or maybe he’s a wallflower like you, choosing to stand on the outskirts instead of in the center of attention.

lost in your haze of heeseung thoughts, you don’t really register that you’ve finished dressing and that liv has sat you down at your desk to fix your hair. somehow, while very much drunk, your big has an easy time styling it. she’s focused intensely on the task at hand, but also manages to carry on a one-sided conversation, not realizing that you’re not responding to her. but when she moves her hands from your head and sets them on the back of your chair, you’re amazed; she’s always been good at styling and fashion (hence why she’s been in charge of the homecoming student org dance and cheer competition every fall for the last two years), but you weren’t expecting her skills to be up to par while buzzed to hell and back.

“there we go, ready to wow heeseung,” liv says matter-of-factly, a proud look on her face. when you glare at her through the mirror, she smiles and shrugs lazily, reaching to grab her water bottle and phone from your desk. “what? he’ll be there tonight and i’ve heard through the grape vine that he might have a little crush on you, so…”

you whip around at her words, hands braced against the back of your chair. something like liquid anxiety prickles under your skin, sending goosebumps across your arms. liv is friends with just about everyone in greek life, so “the grape vine” could quite literally mean anybody, but who did she find that out from anyways? when did heeseung say anything like that? did he even actually say that or is she just deadset on shipping the two of you together until it either happens or falls through?

“what?”

she looks back at you over her shoulder, one hand resting on the doorknob and your dorm keys in the other. there’s a mischievous glint in her dark eyes and your heart drops; how did you get such a schemer as a big? “oh, yeah. i was hanging out at the lambda house the other night with yeonjun. you know? heeseung’s big? and he maybe mentioned something about it. why do you wanna know?”

she sidles back up to you, pulling you out of the chair by your shoulders. “do you maybe… i don’t know… like him back? why are you so nervous?”

you shake your head, trying to will the goosebumps on your arms and lightning in your veins away. you’ve claimed a million times over the last few weeks that there is nothing more going on between you and that boy, no matter how pretty or sweet you might think he is. heeseung is just a friend, someone you just so happened to click really well with and just so happened to plan a really fun event with. there’s nothing else to say about it or the way you get excited when his name shows up on your phone or how your day immediately gets better when he walks up to you at the library without texting you first, your favorite snack and coffee in hand and a smile on his face.

there’s nothing there to unpack. you think.

“i’m not nervous. and i bet yeonjun just misheard heeseung. the two of us are just friends. i’ve told you that a million times and i’m sure he’s said the same thing.”

liv just laughs and ushers you towards the door. “okay, okay… sure, sweetheart. let’s get over there before they run out of alcohol.”

jay, the self-appointed dj for every lambda rho party, is blasting year 3000 by the jonas brothers when you and liv arrive in the basement. there’s already a large group of bodies on the dance floor, but the bar area is still pretty crowded and getting worse. liv links her arm with yours so that you won’t get separated, even though there’s no chance of you getting lost or anything.

the two of you make your way towards the bar where yeonjun is “bartending,” a term he insists on using despite the fact that all he does is pour cups of vibrant red jungle juice. blonde hair hangs over his forehead and his skin is glistening with sweat already, looking weirdly ethereal under the colorful lights that fill the room. when he sets eyes on you and liv, he smiles brightly and leans against the bartop.

“hey, you two! glad you finally showed up!” he shouts over the music. “jungle juice?”

liv nods enthusiastically, mimicking his posture and crossing her arms on top of the counter. “yes please! any chances you have jello shots tonight too?”

the boy looks around before he leans in closer to answer. “don’t tell anyone else, but i made some just for you two since you’re my favorite customers.”

liv rolls her eyes and swats at his bicep, but she’s smiling anyways. “we’re not customers, jun. you’re not even getting paid to do this. when are you gonna stop acting like you’re a real bartender, huh?”

he clenches his hand over his heart and stumbles backwards, feigning pain. “you wound me so, liv. i did something nice for you and this is how you repay me. i can’t believe this!”

but in the midst of his monologue, he bends over to open a mini fridge behind the bar and returns with a couple of jello shots. he tells you to take them here while he gets your drinks and hide them the best you can so nobody gets up in arms that he’s providing something outside of the night’s menu. he’s always been especially nice to you, mostly because of liv and his undying love for her (though platonic or romantic, you’ve never been exactly sure about), so it’s all you can do to thank him and listen to his pleads for secrecy regarding the contraband jello shots. when he’s back above bar, you switch off, him discreetly tossing the small cups in the trash.

liv, finally armed with her precious red solo cup, turns to talk to some other friends, leaving you and yeonjun alone. the music is so loud you can hardly keep your thoughts straight, which is great for keeping your mind off of what liv said earlier, but doesn’t last long when yeonjun leans in ever closer, his cologne enveloping you entirely.

“you should thank heeseung for the jello shots, by the way. i honestly hadn’t even thought to make some for you and liv because i was busy with other stuff, but he asked about making some since he knows they’re your favorite.”

your heart clenches a little at the idea that heeseung wanted to make sure that you had things you liked at his frat’s party. it’s nice to have someone looking out for small things like that, even if it means breaking a rule or two. yeonjun rests his hand on top of your head and pats gently, a knowing look in his eyes.

“listen, i know that you swear up and down the wall that you and him are just friends, but for what it’s worth, he likes you a lot. he just won’t say it. you know him. he’s kinda bad with words. it’s not really my place to make his confession for him, but just… you know. give him a chance.”

you nod dumbly and give him a half-baked smile when he pulls his hand off your head. a few girls walk up, vying for their own drinks, so you take that as your cue to walk away, red solo cup cradled in your hands. any hope of not thinking about heeseung lee has been completely undone by both liv and yeonjun.

suddenly, you are far too sober.

two hours later, you’re five drinks in, only kept track of by the cups you have in your hand, and you’re feeling pleasantly buzzed. the lights are a little brighter, the music a little louder, liv’s arm hot and grounding around your shoulders. she’s completely gone, despite the fact that she’s only had three cups of jungle juice. she’s serenading you with dancing queen by abba, somehow getting every single word wrong.

“fuck, i’m way too drunk for this,” she says, breaking off a line in the middle of the second verse. “i’ll sing for you next time. promise.”

you laugh and lean against her, shaking your head. “okay, livvie. sounds good.” you’re content to end your sentence there, but you have an increasing awareness of how hot it’s gotten. the amount of people packed into the basement, especially in the center of the dancefloor like this, has contributed greatly to the heat and you need some time to cool down before it makes you sick. “listen, ‘m gonna get some air. ‘t’s getting really hot.”

liv nods and hugs you to her, voice chipper but slurred heavily. “‘kay! i’ll see you in a few.” she lets you go and breaks out into the next song, somehow worse than dancing queen.

you slip out of the crowd, already feeling a little cooler now that you’ve escaped from the hot press of bodies. standing on the outskirts of the dancefloor, you consider your options. there’s the open window that a cool breeze passes through or the door by yeonjun’s bar, which you know leads directly outside with a staircase up to the back deck. while you initially planned to be within arm’s reach for liv’s sake, your ears are starting to ring from the loud music and the choice is made for you.

you wave to yeonjun as you make your way towards the door. he pauses and leans over to ask you if you’re leaving, looking a little concerned, but you shake your head and tell him what you told liv. and then you tack on the information that she’s incredibly drunk, so he should watch out for her because knowing her, she’ll be tapping out sooner rather than later. he nods in understanding and lets you go, turning back to the two frat guys, jake and chan, that are standing at the bar.

the temperature difference between the basement and outside right now is jarring, but welcomed nonetheless. you carefully traverse the stairs, not quite confident in yourself to take them confidently, seeing as your sight is currently swimming a little and your head is light. getting to the top is a feat and you feel immediately better once you’re on the back deck.

you’re so out of it that you don’t realize you aren’t alone as you lean against the railing, reveling in the way the wood digs into your forearms and the chill bites at you through the sheer long sleeves of your black shirt. you’re still very much buzzed, but you feel a little more clear-headed now that you can hear yourself think.

the sound of your name startles you and you swear you jump ten feet in the air before you whip around, hand against your heart. heeseung is halfway out the back door, a cup in his hand and that deer caught in the headlights expression you’ve come to know well over the last month or so.

“jesus, heeseung. you scared the shit out of me!” you say, catching your breath and leaning back against the railing.

“i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to!” he finishes stepping out of the house and onto the deck with you, the door swinging shut behind him. he’s so earnest in his apology that you can’t help but smile, dropping your hand and instead taking a sip from your drink that you carried out here with you.

“you have a habit of sneaking up on me, huh?”

he joins you at the railing, leaning against it the way you are, and raises his own cup to his lips (perfect and plush and pink… enough of that). he shrugs as he drinks, wincing when it goes down rougher than he expected. the liquid that sloshes against the side is not the same color as yours, so you can only assume that one of the guys gave him something a little stronger than whatever they threw together for the jungle juice.

“i guess so,” he says through a small cough. “i don’t mean to, if that makes it any better.”

you laugh a little, nudging him with your shoulder. “it’s not a big deal, if that makes you feel better. i think it’s kinda funny.”

heeseung smiles at that and nods, keeping his eyes trained on the drink in his cup. it’s only when you’re committing his side profile to drunken memory that you realize the blush that’s crept up the back of his neck onto his cheeks and the tip of his ears. except, that sober voice inside your head argues it could just be from the cold.

but neither of you have been out long enough for that to be the case. it’s not even that cold out here, just a little bit chilly. drunk you is having sneaking suspicions, ones that sober you would never entertain, and this is the first time you’re seeing heeseung at one of his frat’s parties, so you might as well take advantage of it all as much as you can.

“yeonjun told me what you did… the jello shots for me and liv, i mean,” you clarify the second you realize how the first sentence sounds without context. “thanks. i didn’t think you were really paying attention to that kind of stuff.”

heeseung turns his head to look at you, eyes a little wide but that soft, perfect smile offsets it nicely. he looks a little surprised that you found out about it, but not upset that yeonjun mentioned it.

“well… i mean, of course i do. that’s kinda… what i do, you know?”

he’s beating around the bush. yeonjun was right; heeseung never talks about his feelings and he sure as hell won’t offer you the words you’re waiting to hear right now. so, drunk you reasons, why is the only way to confess through words? he’s shown you how much he cares, he’s been doing it for weeks now. maybe you were suppressing your own feelings to keep liv off your back about it all, but in doing so, you’ve been diminishing heeseung’s own attempts at telling you.

this whole thing with him has never been simply friends. love at first sight feels a little much, but you certainly have something between you and you have for weeks on end at this point. maybe it’s time to reward this beautiful boy for being so patient with you.

just as he’s beginning to turn his head away to look back towards the house, you set your cup on the railing and capture his face in your hands. there’s no moment for either of you to process what’s happening, just that one minute there’s a platonic amount of distance between you and the next, your lips are on his and it is warm and unpracticed and still unbelievably perfect. heeseung goes pliant and soft under your touch, his free hand resting gently on the small of your back. his fingers curl gently into your shirt, tethering himself to you. his other hand is still grasping his solo cup and you find yourself wishing he’d just drop the damn thing, even if it means the both of your shoes get soaked in whatever he’d been served (whiskey, you’d guess, from the smokey taste on his tongue).

he’s the first to pull away, eyes still closed for moments after. his breaths come shallow and his cheeks have gone impossibly red, his hand still against your back. you study him from this angle, closer than you’ve ever been, and somehow, you’re finding him prettier than ever before. maybe it’s the alcohol talking or the sudden lovesickness for him, but you don’t care because you finally kissed heeseung lee and left him breathless.

“what- um… what was that for?” he asks quietly, eyes fluttering open. his pupils are blown wide and awestruck (you think that’s the right word in your jungle juice induced haze).

you shrug, inching yourself a little closer towards him. he turns to meet you so your bodies run parallel to each other and finally sets his offending cup on the railing next to yours. “got tired waiting for you t’make a move.”

he makes a sound in the back of his throat and turns his head to look elsewhere, as if looking at you might make him drop dead. any doubt you had from earlier in the night that he’d told yeonjun that he liked you is swept away in a single moment; he can deny it all he wants now, but you already know the truth, so what’s the point?

“liv told me that she heard through the grape vine that you liked me…” you say softly, voice trailing off into the muffled sounds of a kesha song blasting in the basement. “is that… true?”

you watch as he draws a deep breath, squeezes his eyes closed, steels himself for whatever answer he’s about to give. with all your liquid courage now, confessing might not have been a big deal, but you know that if you’d been sober, it would be just as hard as this. but you swear you saw him drinking jungle juice down in the basement an hour and a half ago, and now he’s drinking something stronger, so he must be so naturally shy that not even alcohol can wipe it out.

finally, he lets his breath out and focuses his attention on you again, his eyes soft and pleading. don’t break my heart. please.

“yeah… yeah, i got a little drunk last weekend and told yeonjun that i thought i had feelings for you when he got me back to my dorm. i’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable or if it ruins our friendship. i j–”

you kiss him again, hot and heavy and full of longing and words you don’t dare voice because you’ve liked him for a long time too; you were just too afraid to admit it to yourself. but now he’s spilling his heart out and you’d rather walk barefoot through broken glass before you let him go on thinking for a second longer that his feelings aren’t reciprocated tenfold.

you step impossibly closer, your bodies pressed tight and heavy, the seam unbreakable. heeseung’s hands (both thank god) rest on your waist, holding you close. he bristles under your touch as you leave one hand on his shoulder and the other sneaks around to the nape of his neck, fingers curling into the fine, soft hair there. your nails scratch lightly against his scalp and his chest shudders against yours, some small, refined gasp of approval passing from his mouth to yours as he takes his turn to kiss the breath out of you.

it’s a tiny noise, barely noticeable, barely passing as a soft breathy moan. but you hear it and it’s embarrassingly enough to have your knees going a little weak. well, it’s not just that minuscule noise; it’s everything, it’s the way heeseung’s lips move against your own with an uncharacteristic amount of surety, the way his fingers have slipped under your shimmery black top (a “donation” from liv’s closet last homecoming), the way you can feel his body coming alive under your attention. if this is going where you think it’s going, the dreams you’ve been having about him at least once a week since you first met are about to come true.

heeseung is the first to break away again, but he looks less nervous than the first time. no, this time he looks flushed and tousled and so attractive it should be illegal. when he shifts his weight from his left to right foot, his body brushes against you and the heat of him is unmistakable. even if you couldn’t feel it, you can see the way his eyelids flutter and feel the way his chest shudders against yours. you can’t help yourself; you need him.

“come back to my dorm,” you whisper breathlessly, words manifesting physically in a cloud of fog. “please.”

the boy squeezes his eyes shut again, looks up towards the sky, draws that deep breath he’s so fond of right now. you almost back out, almost say it was a joke; he just confessed his feelings and you kissed twice, so maybe it’s all a little much for him. you really like him and you don’t want to scare him off; besides, what you’re feeling right now is nothing you can’t take care of on your own back in your dorm room. just as you’re about to tell him that he can say no, he’s seemingly talked himself up enough because he looks down at you, smiles, kisses you on his own accord, and then takes your hand.

“lead the way,” he says.

you and heeseung stop at least five times on the way back to your dorm room to makeout, giggling into each other’s mouths as he presses you against a tree on the greens or as you pull him into the pools of darkness between streetlamps. every moment has him growing more confident, more certain that this isn’t just a hookup or a dream.

somewhere along the way, you text liv and tell her that you’re heading home because you’re not feeling well. it’s not farfetched, seeing as you’d broken away from her in the first place because you were feeling too hot. what happened between your departure and when the text is sent is entirely irrelevant right now. what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her and she’ll hear about it sooner rather than later anyways.

it takes you maybe a full twenty minutes to reach your building, a feat considering how drunk you are and how obsessed you’ve been with heeseung for the last half hour. you fully expected it to take longer, but now, you stand under the golden glow of the entry to your dorm building, heeseung unlocking the door for you because you’re a little too gone right now and unwilling to take your hands off him,standing next to him, your arms hugging his free one while you lean your cheek against his shoulder. he fumbles with the key, muttering about how they should change to a keycard system instead, but he gets it eventually and you’re in.

after that, it’s practically a mad dash up to your dorm room on the third floor. your hand is twined tight around heeseung’s as you lead him up the stairs, too impatient to take the elevator right now. somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re glad that you took the time to clean your room today after class; heeseung will see a polished side of you, one that puts laundry away as soon as they’re out of the dryer, one that has glowing golden fairy lights above the window that gild your room in warmth, one that leaves books and binders stacked neatly in the shelf on your desk. not that he’ll be paying attention to any of it anyways, what with the way you can feel his cock pressing incessantly against you as you unlock your bedroom door, hot and straining.

agonizing seconds stretch into what feels like even more agonizing hours, but eventually, you get the door unlocked and guide him inside, stepping into the glow of your string lights that you’d left on before you left. you don’t even have to turn yourself around to look at him because he does it for you, turning you by your waist, pressing you fast against the back of the now-closed door.

his mouth is on yours in an instant, tongue swiping over your bottom lip, no doubt tasting the fruit punch yeonjun had added to tonight’s jungle juice recipe concoction. his hands are on your waist, curling hot into your skin, black mesh of your shirt scratching against you. it’s nice, how respectful he’s being right now, still ever the gentleman he’s been for the last month, but you don’t want nice and respectful right now. you’ve had literal dreams about this since you met him, driving your attraction to him higher with every one; you want mean and messy and rough, and that’s what you’ll get if it’s the last thing you do.

so in a bid to urge him towards where you’re really hoping this night goes, you grab at one of his wrists and drag his hand up to your chest, pressing his palm against your breast. you can feel his breath hitch against you and you smile into the kiss because how can he still be so shy when he’s kissed the breath out of you at least five times in the last forty-five minutes? either way, he gives a tentative squeeze and it feels mind blowingly good; you’ve never been one to really care much about attention focused on your tits, but heeseung makes it feel like maybe you should.

you get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours, one of his hands kneading at your chest, the other slowly slipping under your top, rough fingertips drawing up and down the skin of your stomach, so far gone that you don’t notice the thigh he’s slotted between your legs until he grinds it up against you. it’s sudden and so well-earned, some much needed friction that you’ve been craving since that second kiss on the deck in lambda rho’s backyard. he does it a second time, the hard plane of his thigh coming up hard against your clit, and your knees buckle a little, dropping you further onto him. you moan sweetly into his mouth, tilting your head back against the door as the hand on your waist works your hips against him with a scary but uncharacteristic practiced certainty. he takes the absence of your mouth against his to trail kisses on your neck, his teeth dragging along the sensitive skin, nipping and leaving love bites in his wake.

a well aimed grind of your hips, guided singularly by the boy in front of you, has you falling forward against his chest, your forehead pressed into the junction between his shoulder and neck. you keen against him in frustration, the crest rising but not breaking, no matter how hard to try to get it to.

“seung,” you cry against his skin, fingers curling tight into his sweater. “need more please.”

you almost sob in relief when you feel him nod against your neck, more so when you notice his own hips are stuttering against your leg that is bracketed by his. it’s enough to make you moan, the idea of him needing it just as much as you that he’s trying to hold himself back from getting off on your thigh too.

pressing your palms flat against his chest, you guide heeseung backwards in the direction of your bed (which you’re very suddenly glad you haven’t lofted). when the back of his knees hit the edge of the mattress, he makes quick work of kicking his shoes off and then scrambling up so that his back rests against the wall. you follow suit, toeing off your party shoes and crawling onto his lap where he’s waiting patiently, his eyes wide and the browns of his eyes drowned out by his pupils. he’s breathing hard, chest heaving.

he looks up at you as you situate yourself, his hands coming to rest on your waist again. the expression on his face is nothing short of worshipful, like you’re a deity here to wrench your well-earned respect from his hands. and he is clearly ready to hand it over without a single fight. he guides you down onto him and you follow his hands willingly, your thighs straddling his and your clothed cunt just barely grazing against his hard-on until you settle down completely in his lap, not a centimeter of distance between you. the friction and pressure have both of you gasping wordlessly and heeseung tugs desperately at your hips. you fall into him, arms around his neck and pulling him to meet you halfway, lips locked once more. you give a tentative roll of your hips and heeseung moans into your mouth, just the reaction you were anticipating.

“fuck,” he moans the second time you do it. “you’re so good.”

you’re already hot, seared through to the bone, but you feel yourself go even warmer under heeseung’s praise. you’ve imagined this a million times over the last few weeks, but nothing could ever compare to the real thing. you kiss him harder, breathe him in deep to prove to yourself that this is real, that heeseung lee is under you right now, bucking his hips up into you and matching your movements, about to make you come just from a little bit of dry humping. it would be embarrassing if you weren’t both half-gone and ridiculously desperate.

you continue to rut against him, panting hot and heavy into his mouth as he swallows every single moan and whimper you let out just to return them tenfold, his hands working you over him with a rushed ease. every roll of your hips is met with his own presses upwards. he’s working you higher and higher with each move, closer to the precipice, and while you’ve never before thought you’d find yourself in a position like this, if heeseung makes you come without taking a single item of clothing off either of you, then so be it.

as if he’s read your thoughts, he presses you back and away from him. you open your eyes for the first time in minutes and take him in: messy hair, flushed cheeks, bruised lips. no wet dream could have ever prepared you for how beautiful he looks right now.

but no matter how pretty you think he is in this moment, the sudden absence of friction has you whining loudly, pitched high and tight. when you speak, your voice trembles out of frustration. “heeseung, why’d you stop?”

he sucks in a breath and moves to push at your shoulders some more. “don’t- fuck- don’t wanna come yet, not like this.”

if you weren’t already so fucked out, you would have giggled, but right now, you just feel exasperated. he’s right; you don’t want to come like this either, but you’d also come to terms with it because it would mean that you would at least be getting the release you’re so desperately craving. and that’s been ripped away from you, at least for the moment. but when he looks up at you again, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes still wide with need, you fold immediately.

“tell me what you want.” he’s practically begging you and it sends a thrill through you, liquid lightning straight to your heart. “please.”

and how can you deny him when he’s asked you so sweetly or when you’re just as needy as he is? at this point, whatever he’d offer, you would take gladly. he’s gazing at you now, waiting anxiously for an answer, not that you have a set one; you want him in any way he wants you, nothing else matters more than that. but you take in his swollen lips and lithe fingers and your mind is off to the races.

“i-” you start, but stumble over your words. you’d been incredibly forward when you’d kissed him first, but you’ve lost all of that fire now. you can’t bring yourself to ask for what you want, even though you’re certain he’d do anything you’d ask of him.

“c’mon,” he coaxes, fingers kneading into your shoulders to ground you. “whatever you want.”

the sound of his voice is earnest, nothing short of honest, and it makes you want to trust him more than anything. so you do. you draw in a steadying breath and curl your hands into his sweater as you work yourself up to it.

“will you-” another breath. “would you eat me ou-”

“yes,” he immediately answers. you don’t even get a chance to finish the question. “fuck. i thought you’d never ask.”

he moves his hands to cup your face and pulls you into him, kissing you sweetly, his nose bumping against yours. the minuscule break in sexual tension, while in most situations would be a mood killer, is nice because it just further cements that this isn’t some random one night stand; you want to see him every day for the rest of your life after this, if he’ll let you.

somewhere between the kiss and when he breaks away from you, he’s maneuvered you so that you’re laying back against your pillows. you’ve also managed to discard your shirt (thank god, the glitter and mesh combo was starting to irritate your skin something fierce) and he’s working to get your pants off, fingers fumbling with the button; it’s as frustrating as it is adorable and he swats your hands out of the way when you reach down to help him, deadset on doing it himself, which he does manage (eventually, after a few incredibly long moments). you help him shimmy down your jeans and panties by lifting your hips a little and then you are inarguably bare in front of him, a position you’d never imagined you would be in.

and maybe heeseung is a little wonderstruck too because for a few long seconds, he sits there and stares at you in all your naked glory (or nearly naked glory, seeing as you haven’t taken your bra off yet, but he doesn’t seem to mind). you’re starting to get a little bashful and have to nudge him with a bent knee to pull him out of his stupor. he’s impossibly red at the tips of his ears as he murmurs a sweet apology that comes accompanied by a “you’re just so pretty.”

before you can muster a reply, he’s situating himself between your legs, hands pressing softly against your inner thighs to draw them apart, set eyes on his real destination. you lift your head just a little bit, watching as his eyes widen as he takes all of you in, his breath hot against your folds. his fingers curl tight into the soft skin of your thighs and you whimper at the sting, equally painful as it is exhilarating. he makes an indistinguishable groan in the back of his throat before he’s completely devouring you.

plenty of your wet dreams about the boy between your legs right now have included this very scenario: his nose bumping carelessly against your clit, a suddenly confident tongue making a show of licking up all of your arousal, your thighs already trembling. but they never could have prepared you for the actual thing because he’s giving you what is quite possibly the best head you’ve ever had.

heeseung is eating you out like a man starved, it’s absolutely obscene. his tongue works you up fast, every little moan he lets out only contributing. somewhere in the midst, he says something that sounds like “you taste s’good,” but his words are drowned out by your own moans and the sound of his mouth working you over. every pass of his tongue over your folds is as close as you’ve ever gotten to heaven, but you’re lacking something to really shove you over that precipice; and now you know heeseung is so whipped he’ll do anything you ask him to.

“seung,” you gasp out breathlessly, untangling one hand from your comforter so you can wind your fingers into his hair. he looks up at you, doe eyes big and wide and glimmering with his eyebrows drawn together, a questioning look without pulling away to speak. you’re about to ask him when his nose bumps hard against your terribly sensitive clit and your word breaks off before the first syllable can even leave your lips. “fuck— seung, can you— can you add your fingers?”

you’re not quite used to asking for what you want, at least verbally; maybe it’s because any previous partners weren’t keen on getting you to verbalize, maybe it’s because they never particularly cared and just did what they thought was good. but heeseung is pliant and willing to please in any way he can, so you feel less embarrassed this time around because he’s made it entirely clear that your pleasure is his main priority.

he doesn’t nod, doesn’t say anything, just closes his eyes again and goes back to work. you almost think he either didn’t hear you or is straight up ignoring you before you feel it. he pulls his hand from your right thigh slowly, letting his fingertips drag lightly against your skin; the menace is teasing you, where did that come from? but you don’t even have much time to internally complain about him holding out on you because he’s suddenly slipping two fingers into you, long, deft limbs that expertly seek out that spot inside you. he presses against it once, twice, three times, each one drawing out a whine from you.

it’s just what you need, the extra friction pushing you up that incline, closer and closer to the dropoff. when your back arches off the bed and your thighs close around his head, boxing him in against your pussy, heeseung knows he’s got you right where you want to be and then he doesn’t let up. it’s an onslaught of pressure, four different points of sensation, and you’re on the verge of tears. he’s making a complete mess of you, utilizing all he can to get you over that edge. you’re whining his name like it’s the only word you know, “yes” and “fuck” and “oh my god” getting lost in your slurred speech; he’d be evil incarnate if he denied you what you’re so beautifully begging for.

he presses incessantly at that spongy place inside you, nose bumping against your little bundle of nerves, moans growing more frequent, all while his tongue tries to catch every single drop of arousal. and then there you go, ecstasy taking over like liquid heat in your veins. his name sounds like pure euphoria on your tongue, mixed with your moans and whines. he thinks he could come just from this alone, your cum in his mouth and your thighs pressed tight around him, but he holds off because there’s only one place he wants to leave his release (if you’ll let him, that is).

“shit.”

you sound fucked out, completely gone and heeseung swears he’s never heard anything sexier. you tug at his hair a little bit, feeling completely overstimulated but still so good, a shock to your system as he pulls his fingers out of you and lets his tongue work over you just a little bit longer (to make sure you’re clean, he reasons to himself).

eventually, he does pull away and you have to fight the urge to whine again. his eyes are unfocused and glossed over, his chin practically dripping in your arousal. hell, his tongue darts out to get the last little bit of your cum at the corner of his lips and you nearly orgasm all over again.

“was it good?” he asks softly and you barely hold yourself back from laughing. he just made you come harder than any previous partner ever has, given you the best head in the world, and he’s asking you if it was good? he’s insane for thinking it was anything short of perfect.

but you don’t say that. you reach for his sweater, fingers curling tight into the cotton and tugging him down towards you. he catches himself by his hands, his arms bracketing you easily, before he completely crashes into you. there’s a long moment where he just stares down at you, lovestruck and pretty, before he lowers himself to kiss you. you can taste yourself on his lips, on his tongue, and you moan a little bit, feeling a little embarrassed, but one of his hands moves from its place on the mattress to cradle your cheek and that alone drives it away.

one of your arms sneaks over his shoulder, your fingers tangling into the damp hair at the nape of his neck, while the other sneaks under his sweater, the shirt he wears underneath until the tips of your fingers brush the soft, pliant skin of his stomach. you can feel the gentle ridges of abs and a small piece of you shivers with giddiness. regardless, you enjoy a few seconds of running your fingers over his stomach before you push a little more incessantly at the offending pieces of material. he takes it for what it is: a plea to get rid of the clothes. after all, it’s not fair that you’re almost entirely undressed and he hasn’t taken a single article off.

you watch dazedly as heeseung sits back onto his heels, your eyes following his arms as he crosses them over himself, grasps at the hems, pulling them over his torso, his arms, his head before they land haphazardly on the floor next to your bed. every inch revealed to you makes your mouth water, his skin taut and soft and glowing in your fairy lights. you can’t help but remind yourself that dreams and an overactive imagination could never live up to the real thing because he’s very much the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen.

you’re entirely prepared to continue your makeout session, but heeseung seems to have other ideas because once his tops are discarded, he begins making work of his jeans. you make a soft noise in the back of your throat when you realize what he’s doing and he looks up at you, fingers stilling at his belt, his eyes wide.

“is something wrong?”

he sounds so sincere, it kind of makes you want to cry. but you shake your head earnestly, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can look at him better. “no, no! everything is fine. i guess i just wasn’t expecting you to take your pants off so soon.”

he quirks an eyebrow at you and dons that pretty little smile of his, teasing but not really. “well, you’re almost completely undressed. figured it was only right that i do the same, y’know?”

and you laugh a little because it’s true and because he’s just so cute, he laughs too, soft and quiet. you generally think sleeping with someone is fun, but you’ve never had as much fun as you are right now. maybe it’s because it’s with heeseung and you like him so much already, so the playfulness comes easy; it doesn’t feel tense the way it has with others.

so you watch him handle his belt, the button on his jeans, the zipper. you watch, mouth watering once more, as he slips out of them, leaving his boxers, which have a dark wet patch on them. the sight alone would make you groan, but you can see the outline of his cock and you almost lose it completely. so you decide to resume the impatient act because you are still very much so; as cute as the playful routine is, you haven’t forgotten the exhilarating rush of trying to get to your dorm as fast as possible and the unpracticed fumbling that’s followed since then.

you reach for him and he doesn’t hesitate, letting you pull him on top of you by his shoulders, fitting your mouths together in a messy kiss, all teeth and tongues. your hands are in his hair again, his own slide underneath you to make work of your bra, unclasping it and then pulling the straps away from your shoulders, down your arms, making you let go of him for a quick few seconds so that he can pull it off completely and toss it god knows where in your room.

you’re distantly aware that you’re entirely bare to him now, but his mouth is working at your throat, dragging his teeth along the sensitive skin of your neck (he is strangely good at distracting you, you’re learning), so you don’t feel as shy as you did just a handful of minutes ago. either way, he’s sucking hickies into your shoulders, your collarbones, any skin that has a little bit of give to it that lets him leave love bites in his wake. so lost in the haze, you realize a little too late that he’s working his way towards your chest, but it doesn’t even matter, not when he has one hand kneading at one and his mouth at the other, tracing lines over your skin to quell the sting of each pinch, each little nip of teeth. your nipples pebble under his attention and while this never usually does much for you, you still find yourself getting antsy because it’s heeseung. everything he’s done for weeks has gotten you worked up, why would that stop now?

it doesn’t help that he’s grinding against you, his hips canting against your own for any semblance of friction. your arousal is no doubt contributing to the wet patch on his boxers and the idea of it almost has your eyes rolling into the back of your head. his cock feels hot and heavy against your folds, the head bumping against your clit, and all of it feels so delicious that you let out a crisp, high whine, twining your fingers into heeseung’s soft hair and tugging gently.

he pulls himself away from your chest and when you look at him, you almost moan. his lips are swollen, slick with spit, and his gaze has gone misty. he looks at you expectantly, blinking slow and lips pouted as he waits. you’re not even sure what you want from him right now, at least nothing specific because you want everything from him. you’re about to tell him to go back to doing what he was originally because it did feel good, but then he lands a particularly well-timed grind against you and you’re gasping.

“fuck,” you whimper, tossing your head back a little. your fingers tighten in his hair and from somewhere south of you, he laughs a little, light and easy and airy.

“that what you want from me?” he questions, pulling himself up over you, catching your chin between his thumb and pointer finger. in any other situation, it might come off as intimidating and teasing, but heeseung is all doe-eyed and halfway to heaven right now, so it comes off more desperate to please than anything. either way, you nod. “all you had to do was ask. you know that.”

you nod and pull him down to kiss you by the fingers you have twisted in his hair. he groans against you, moving his hand from your chin to your jaw, angling you just so. somewhere in the kiss, you murmur a soft, “seung, i want you,” and he groans a little, nodding against you. he pulls away and you chase after him, but he’s sitting up, moving lightning quick to get his boxers off, abandoned somewhere on the linoleum floor with everything else.

and then it hits you that you’re both completely bare. you lean back on your elbows, looking him over once more, though your focus lingers mostly on the skin newly revealed to you. his thighs are toned and sturdy, the skin plush, and while you’d love to stare at them a little bit more, your attention is quickly drawn to his dick. it’s big, the head an agitated red and leaking precum, and your mouth is watering at the thought of getting him in your position and giving him the best head of his life.

you actually start to move to do so, but heeseung anticipates it and moves quick, pressing you back into your mattress. his dark doe eyes are drowning in desire and you shudder under his gaze. he’s on you again instead, hips melded to yours in your nth kiss tonight. he’s got his weight rested on one elbow beside your head while his other arm is free to move around, his hand tracing from your shoulder, your chest, smoothing across your stomach.

his fingers eventually land on your thigh, curling into the soft inner flesh, and he hikes it up around his waist before dropping his hand to his cock. his lips trail from your lips to your neck and shoulders, nipping at the skin as he jerks himself off. you toss your head back against your pillows, whimpering at every little graze of his teeth against your skin.

but what’s really driving you crazy is the heat of him against you. the head of his cock bumps against your clit, this time with no fabric barrier separating them, and you’re not sure if heeseung is even meaning for the touch, but it has you feeling hot all over again, slick leaking out of you again. you’re getting impatient, heel pressing hard into his lower back and your fingernails biting into the flesh of his biceps.

“heeseung,” you whine out, canting your hips up against his; you hear him suck in a breath through clenched teeth, a hiss of air. “need you.”

he shivers against you, a teary whimper of “need you too” granted in return as he pulls his face from your neck so that he can watch you as he finally gets to what you’ve wanted since this whole thing started. on a short teasing streak, he taps the head of his cock against your clit and you whine, turning your head into your pillow and curling your fingers into his arms, which earns a laugh.

“stop playing,” you tell him, rolling your hips upwards and into him.

he hisses again and bites at his bottom lip, nodding. he slips from your clit to your entrance and even just the little shred of pressure you get has you wanting to moan out for him. but then he starts pressing in all the way, slipping into your cunt with ease and you are not prepared for just how full you feel. your back arches and he lets off a tempered moan, stifled through a lip bite. when he bottoms out, his hips flush with your own, you release a breath as you adjust to the size of him, which doesn’t take long.

“seung,” you drawl, grabbing his attention. “move please.”

and he does as you bid, pulling out before he thrusts back in. it takes a few moments for him to find a pace that works, but when he does, it’s perfect. his hips roll against yours delectably, the sounds of skin meeting skin and your shared moans filling the small dorm room. he’s shored up over you, one elbow pressed deep into the thin mattress holding him up, and when your eyes aren’t squeezed tight in ecstasy, you watch the way he bites his lip, furrows his eyebrows, shudders as you clench around him.

“god, you’re s’tight. feels so good,” he whimpers at one point, his head hanging over your own as he tries to keep a steady pace. his words are shattered, breaking off in the middle or slurred together, a verbal manifestation of how you physically feel.

one thrust hits that just right spot inside you and you can’t hold but moan loudly, back arching off the mattress and your head pressing into your pillows. heeseung inhales sharply above you as you clench tight around him and then, with you still keening, you feel him sit up, taking his warmth with him. his hands are on your hips seconds later and he’s angling you, doing everything in his power to replicate it again and again.

“fuck, i’ve wanted this for so long,” he says, one hand on your thigh and the other working deft fingers on your clit. he’s a quick learner it seems because all of it is coming together to whisk your orgasm closer, a wave of white heat washing over you. “saw you at my frat’s halloween party ‘nd thought you were so pretty. woulda come up t’you that night if i knew you felt this good.”

your breath hitches more than it has all night and you cant your hips upwards in an attempt to meet his thrusts. somewhere in the midst of your pleasure, you tell him you’re going to come and he nods fast, fingers going into overtime to get you there. that knot inside you winds up tight and then snaps like a rubber band stretched too thin, hot and fast. your pussy locks around his cock and then he’s there above you, bracing himself with his hand, to swallow the particularly sharp whine of his name you let out and any stray too-loud moans that might slip away and wake the neighbors (as if you haven’t already).

when your vision finally clears and your thighs stop trembling, his hips are still snapping into yours to seek his own release, pushing you into the territory of overstimulation, but any pain you have bleeds into pleasure until you can’t tell which is which; the only thoughts you can manage are that heeseung feels heavenly inside you that it’s almost blinding and you don’t know if you even really want him to stop.

but his hips begin to stutter, his cock twitching against your fluttering walls, and you faintly register that he’s about to pull out of you. blindly, your hand searches for any part of him to pull him back over you, legs locking around his waist. he protests, some flurry of words about how he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable (not a single one intelligible), while you whine and pull him towards you by his shoulder.

“wanna feel you, seung,” you say, a limp arm winding around him and inching him closer until your noses are brushing and you can feel his breath fanning across you, still smelling faintly of his alcohol from earlier. “don’t worry about it, ‘kay? y’said you’d do anything, so please. i wanna feel you s’bad.”

that seems to be enough to egg him on because he nods and you catch him in a messy kiss before he groans against your lips as he finally comes. he lands a few more sharp thrusts that have you whining, fucking his cum into you, before he finally falls still. his breath is hot on your shoulder as he recovers.

usually, once you’re done, your select partner of the night pulls out, maybe cleans you up, and then leaves. it’s been a while since you’ve had someone who wants to stay (at least, you hope heeseung wants to stay) and you’re not quite sure where to go from here. there hadn’t really been much discussion about where your relationship was going to lead after this, even with all of the lingering glances on campus and your impromptu study sessions at the library, so you’re worrying a little about what comes after.

stuck in your own head, you don’t even notice that heeseung has pulled his head from your shoulder and is looking at you until his thumb works your bottom lip out from beneath your teeth and then wipes away some of the sweat at your hairline. the furrow of his eyebrows carve deep lines into the space between them as he studies you, looking like an angel with the way the fairy lights strung up above him give him a faint golden halo.

“what’re you thinking about?” he asks softly, brushing his fingers across your cheek. it’s a wholly different energy than just a few minutes ago, but the change isn’t unwelcome.

you shrug, blinking up at him and reaching to push some of his hair out of his eyes, the strands matted to his forehead with sweat. “just wondering what we do now, i guess.”

heeseung’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles a little, his shoulders shaking with a breathy little laugh. you almost punch at his shoulder for laughing at you when he cranes his head down to kiss you gently, the first that isn’t rushed in some way. he nudges your nose with his when he pulls back just a little bit.

“can we worry about all the big stuff later?” he questions; you feel the words as much as you hear them, his lips barely brushing your own as he says them. “for now, how about we clean up first and then… i’m hungry. are you?”

it’s your turn to laugh, but you nod. you’re still a little drunk, your however many cups of jungle juice compared to his measly one whiskey.

“so we clean up and then go get taco bell? it’s, like, the only fast food place still open at this hour.”

“you do know that the line is gonna be insane, right? like, half of campus goes there after getting drunk.”

heeseung lets another quiet laugh loose and sits up, pulling you up with him and then into his lap, his dick still snug inside you. the feel of it doesn’t wind you up again like you thought it might, but it’s a nice reminder that he’s here, that this all actually happened. he rests a hand on your thigh and lets his thumb trace lines into the skin there absently.

“then i guess we’ll have time to talk about what you wanna do now,” he says sincerely, the smile on his face soft.

you have so many words you want to say, a million sentences tornadoing in your head right now, all jumbled up and lacking any sense of coherency. so instead, you cup his cheeks in your hands and return the kiss from just a few moments ago. he meets you halfway, all soft and pliant and giving, everything you could have dreamed up.

“wanna shower?” you ask when you pull away, giggling when he chases after you for another kiss. “feel like it might be a little more effective than a rag.”

the boy raises an eyebrow and eyes you suspiciously. “you tryin’ to go for a round two? because that’s what it sounds like right now.”

you push at his shoulders and laugh when he catches your wrists in his hands, pulling you into a third kiss. “wasn’t my intention, but i won’t turn down the idea.”

“i’ll think about it,” he responds as he taps at your hips and lifts you off of him. his seed starts to leak out with his cock no longer there to hold it in and you feel incomplete without him, but when he stands and offers you a hand to help you out of bed, suddenly the feeling of emptiness isn’t as oppressive.

you teeter across your room, opening the wardrobe to pull out the two towels you have and your shower caddy. heeseung accepts the towel you extend to him graciously, wrapping it around his waist. when you’re done securing your own towel, he’s already waiting for you by the door, one hand on the knob and the other reaching out towards you once you get close enough to him. and then you’re two people walking down the hall hand in hand, wrapped in matching pink towels towards the unisex bathroom. it’s a little unconventional, maybe, but you don’t think you’d have it any other way.

liv probably would though, but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. heeseung’s your little secret after all.

#heeseung x reader #lee heeseung smut #heeseung smut #enhypen smut #kpop smut #writing.fic #smut.fic #stories.fic #heeseung.fic #enha.fic

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glorious-spoon · 5 months ago

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9-1-1 Season 7 Post-Mortem

Mostly because I want to put my thoughts in order. Full disclosure: I'm really not thrilled with a lot of the choices this season made, but I'm also not at the 'fuck this show I hate it now' level either. The primary, overarching issue, IMO, is that they tried to stuff a full season's worth of plot into ten episodes, and the pacing and emotional continuity suffered badly. And also there were some writing choices that were simply deranged (and hopefully would have been reworked had they not been laying down the tracks in front of the speeding train, so to speak).

(Cut for me rambling at length)

So: Bobby and Athena were largely really solidly written. The cruise ship disaster was great: campy and OTT, but in a fun way. Their marital issues and the eventual resolution felt like a natural continuation of issues they've had in the past. Bobby Begins 3.0 was a great episode other than the cartel element, which was some ill-considered racial stereotyping (I've said it before and I'll say it again: you could have had the antagonists in that episode be a bunch of angry locals threatening people for tresspassing on their property, and the whole thing would have been 100% less gross without actually changing much of the plot. Really felt like Tim was cribbing from the similar Lone Star arc, which was also lazy and racist). Amir was a fantastic character, and while I could have done without that last scene of him offering Bobby absolution, I feel like he was generally allowed to be both gracious and rightfully angry. The cop Athena stuff in the finale was... less great, but also to be expected. I would have liked much less of that and much more time spent at Bobby's bedside.

(I'm really sad about the house fire mostly because that was one of my favorite sets, but I do appreciate the poetry of the parallel, with Bobby actually managing to get his wife out this time. Though I do wonder where Harry was that night, lmao.)

Hen was similarly wonderful. I really liked getting to see her wrestle with the responsibility of being captain, and the fallout of the car accident scene. In a vacuum, I actually like Ortiz as a villain - a complicated one, with sympathetic motivations, but still ostentatiously cruel. Were it not for the fact that there are basically NO latine characters other than Eddie who aren't villains this season, it would have been great. ALAS.

Did not love the rescue dog/foster child parallel with Mara. Otherwise really loved getting to see her settle in with the Wilsons, and I'm really glad that we got to see Chim and Maddie take her in instead of leaving her at the group home by the end of the season. Really leaned into the found family element, and Chim taking care of his best friend's child in the same way that Mrs. Lee did for him.

CHIM! Chim my beloved. 'There Goes The Groom' is the one episode that I have basically no issues with at all. The hallucinatory trip through Los Angeles, wrestling with Doug's ghost, was gorgeous. Bringing back Kevin - also gorgeous. I loved that we see the Lees explicitly framed as his real family (and am spitefully glad that his bio dad was nowhere to be found. Fuck that guy.) Kenny continues to be, IMO, the best actor on this show. He killed it. We need so many more Chim-centric episodes, because they're always SO good. He can make both humor and pathos feel so natural and human. Give us more Chim!

And of course on to Buck's bisexual arc, which was... so painfully Buck, lmao. Full disclosure: I have a lot of trouble rewatching 7x04 and 7x05 because the secondhand embarrassment is just too much for me, but objectively it feels very right and in character for him. LOVED the first kiss scene, with his dawning realization of what's about to happen and his softly stunned joy afterward. His coming out scenes with both Maddie and Eddie were lovely and perfectly appropriate to both relationships. I really liked him taking the initiative to reach out to Tommy to apologize and ask for a second chance after he fucked up their first date. Loved Tommy showing up at the hospital after what was clearly a long, miserable shift.

Their date in the finale didn't really land for me mostly because of where it was placed in the episode; if they did something with the two of them after Buck spent the entire day at Bobby's bedside waiting to see if he was going to live, it would have felt a lot more natural to me to have them exhaustedly eating takeout on the couch or something instead of having a formal sit-down date with wine and place settings. Intentionally or not, that made it feel like they're still on Date Behavior with each other and despite some gestures toward emotional vulnerability, they're not quite there yet - as seen by Buck steering the conversation back to flirting and innuendo. My overall feeling on the relationship at this point is that it's cute, but I'm not seeing any real depth of feeling between them yet.

Buck and Eddie on the other hand - look, despite my many MANY issues with Eddie's plot this season, I loved how his relationship with Buck was written. I love the intimacy and familiarity of how they are together, I loved the way Eddie let himself lean on Buck, I loved how Buck is clearly positioned as an integral part of the Diaz family.

Unfortunately, that's really the only thing I loved about Eddie's plot this season. His relationship with Marisol was ultimately pointless; she was never fleshed out enough to feel like a real character, and we never even see the fallout of Eddie's cheating with regard to her; it's all Chris. The Kim stuff strained credulity, and also I never felt like he got any kind of emotional catharsis or resolution through it; he still hasn't really confronted any of his issues about Shannon, about their marriage and how it ended. That whole arc felt really wobbly in terms of tone, as well: using plot elements of a very famous psychological thriller without actually acknowledging any of the creepiness of it. I would have liked it to lean into that more especially with the scene where Kim dresses up as Shannon, an objectively creepy and unhinged thing to do.

The Diaz parents handled the Chris thing in a selfish and opportunistic way that felt both disappointing and inevitable. Hopefully that's going to be a hook for the next season and Eddie actually confronting them, but overall Eddie's plot this season really felt like they just tossed a bunch of balls up in the air and mostly failed to catch them.

Gerrard - look, I'm not that worried about Gerrard. I could have done without him, but ultimately he's going to stick around just long enough to make his inevitable defeat satisfying. At least, that's my hope.

#911 #911 meta

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unreliablesnake · 2 years ago

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Scenes from a relationship: the fight (John Price x reader)

Note: Just a drabble.

"Do you have any idea how much shit I got from my family for taking you to that wedding as my plus one?" you yelled at Price angrily, even pointing a finger at him.

He was taken aback, not expecting to hear this since he had pleasant conversations with your parents and friends after you introduced him to them. They were all snobs, he knew that, but were they really that bad?

Long seconds passed while he waited for you to breathe in and out a few times to calm your nerves. Then, once he saw you feeling a little better, he said, "Why?"

"Why? Because we weren't dating, they never even heard of you, you're not from a wealthy family, don't have a typical white-collar job, and you're not the guy my parents want me to be with," you replied with brutal honesty.

Price let out a sigh and nodded. "Okay, I get it. I'll leave you alone because I'm not good enough for your family, so I'm surely not good enough for you either."

"No, you don't get it apparently," you told him with a desperate laugh. "You were on mission after mission ever since, we barely kept in touch, you never said anything that even remotely suggested you wanted more from me despite what had happened between us after the wedding."

What happened after the wedding. Price remembered it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. He often thought about it, he often rewatched the short video he recorded while you were riding out an orgasm on top of him, wondering if you wanted more than just a one night stand.

But he knew your background, he knew you also had your snobbish moments sometimes, and his brain told him you just wanted to have some fun with him after a few drinks. You had been friends before, nothing more. Nothing pointed in the direction of an actual relationship.

Now that you stood in front of him, so angry and desperate, he wondered what the truth was. He said he didn't see any signs of you wanting a relationship, you thought the same, so maybe you were both missing the signs completely. Maybe it was that easy, it was nothing more but miscommunication.

"Do you want more?" he asked quietly.

Despite being on the verge of crying, you forced a smile on your face before nodding. "Do you?"

He took a hesitant step forward, moving very slowly as he reached out to take your hand. "I've been thinking about it ever since that night. I want you. All of you."

You jumped into his arms, a move so sudden that it took him by surprise and he almost lost his balance. But he got you, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you tightly against his body, enjoying the warmth that radiated from you.

He had fantasized about this many times; to have you like this again, to be able to smell your shampoo, and to feel your soft skin under his fingertips. That one video wasn't enough, he needed new memories his mind could replay over and over again.

But then his brain started to work and he thought about something important. "What about your family?" Price asked as he leaned back to look you in the eye.

"I don't care," you replied with a sweet smile. "You're the one I want, if they don't like you, it's not my problem."

"They might disown you."

"They'll block my credit card and stop inviting me to fancy family events for a while. Big deal."

Leaning his forehead against yours, Price couldn't help but smile. If you were willing to accept your family's punishment, then you must have really liked him. It made him feel better about this already, even making him forget what you had started to fight about tonight in the first place.

But then you said something that reminded him of the beginning. "Don't you dare and ignore me again. And I promise I won't ignore you either."

#call of duty #john price x reader #john price #captain john price x reader #captain price x reader #captain john price #captain price #modern warfare 2 #modern warfare ii #modern warfare #mw2

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the-s1lly-corner · 11 months ago

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Hiya:p

Can you do a masky/tim from marble hornets with like d*ad!reader? Like she died before or during mh (you can pick if she was involved during mh or no)

Pleases and thankyous:3

-🙀 anon

Tim x deceased!reader !

points rare marble hornets request/specification for characters that were originally MH but were sucked into the grubby mitts of the creepypasta fandom (/lh admin loves both versions of the characters) OOOOOOOOO okay so im still on my rewatch of MH, i think im like halfway through the series? i forgot what exact # entry im on but i know its after the hotel thing/when jay is done watching the tapes from before his memory getting all fucked and to finding tim again; the last time i watched MH in its entirety was YEEEEARS ago so my memory is a little murky... along with that this post is less of a proper list of headcannons and more so the admin bouncing around because they cant find an idea to commit to </3 secondary warning that admin has not seen marble hornets in a hot minute and has not finished their rewatch (and likely might need to restart their rewatch </3)

god theres so many ways i can go about this. you passing away before the event of MH, you passing away somewhere along the way... i do know im going to utilize the memory gap stuff... because can you imagine?

youre already gone, but the memory of your passing is wiped away along with some other stuff tim has lost. like can you imagine how fucked up that is?

initially thinks that you just skipped town and cut everyone off, assuming he truly forgets, tries to reach out to you but of course he comes up with nothing

this is of course assuming you dont have any family members or friends that are going to remind him

oh when he does find out hes just absolutely crushed. it doesnt matter how you died; something outside everything, or a death caused by the things going on in the series... fucked stuff either way

i do think, post series, because iirc he does leave he probably makes a little memorial thing wherever he ends up settling; cant really blame him for wanting to go back, and thats even assuming thats where your body is buried

hell this is assuming your body is even found; and youre not just missing

thats another route, i think, that can be fucked up.. like imagine your death actually is a product of say; alex going off the deep end

shrugs

now as for how that actually makes him feel; theres the grief of course, but i do think he would be angry. for one hes angry at himself for forgetting, but hes also so angry that he wasnt there for you when you needed someone to come and save you. he strikes me as an angry griever, cant really pin point why though....

oooo but imagine you had a certain style or accessory and he incorporates it into his everyday ware... think like an earring or bracelet; he seems like the type to do that, me thinks..

ponders

his smoking gets worse, especially in the beginning as he tries to wrap his head around literally everything thats going on; probably a few sleepless nights in there too..

this is all over the place given admins limited knowledge, but also theres so many ways to go about this... and i think thats nice since it adds variety... you know?

#marble hornets #marble hornets x reader #marble hornets x you #tim sutton x you #tim sutton x reader #tim wright x you #tim wright x reader #admin doesnt know how to tag #also they dont know if its sutton or write for mh tim please help

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2offayyo-kzt · 13 days ago

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I just rewatched episode 4 and I'm not going to lie, I'm scared of Sean's current character development.

So I know it's only the first time we've seen him this season, and we'll see him again for sure in episode 7, but after my rewatch, I really felt like I was watching a 6yo in a costume pretending to be an adult.

We all know Sean's a dumbass, right, but in this episode it's reached new heights...

So yes, it's not the first time he's acted immaturely (when he threw a tantrum in s3ep5 when no one would buy him his pillows, the fight he had with Franky in the bar in s5ep2, or simply the fact that he wanted to organize a parade with the justification of wanting to bring a hockey team back to Staten Island)

But in today's episode his stupidity was OFF THE CHART :

First he has been fired from his job but you know what, that can happen to anyone, no matter what their condition, so no big deal.

But then his memory problems are so bad that he :

-Doesn't remember he has worked at Kinko’s

-Doesn't know how to use an elevator (using the term "go-go" which sounds a bit childish instead of going up)

-Laszlo is forced to repeat simple orders to him so he won't forget :

Laszlo : "If I tell you to leave that office, then get out of the office. What do you do ?"

Sean : "Get out of the office."

Laszlo : "You got it."

And even his behavior like... doing the "Young Dumb and Full of-" joke during a JOB INTERVIEW

Or completely losing it after learning he's been fired and leaves in dramatic fashion, with ✨HIS✨ comfort toy train (given to him by his grandfather)

Sean : "I'm taking MY train, which my grandpa gave me. This place doesn't deserve me. I'm leaving."

We also see him playing with trains in the background (don't forget that he was the VP of the company at that moment) and installing a mini basketball hoop on his door.

The fact that he forgot to zipper up his fly TWICE, and can't even assemble a shelf.

In the end I don't care, all those scenes and details were funny, but the way Laszlo talked about him at the beginning of the episode was so contemptuous :

Colin : "Just hypnotize the guy so he forgets about the interview."

Laszlo : "I wish I could. He's almost brain-dead. He's hypnotized out. He's a proper idiot. Doesn't know his ass from his elbow. I mean, he really is stupid. But he's my friend. I can't let him down."

Sean : "Hey, elevator box don't go-go."

Laszlo : "You need to press one of the buttons, Sean."

HELLO LAZ ?! I mean you can shit on your bestie but I think it was way too much here lmao, full roast

Like, okay, your friend's a moron, but Laszlo even gives the impression that Sean has become a liability, and it's technically the vampire's fault that Sean is losing all his cognitive faculties.

As Laszlo pointed out, Sean is "brain dead" to the point where even hypnosis has become useless.

It's as if everyone takes pity on Sean now and tries to make him happy and obey his whims because "it's Seanieee-"

Even Nadja was tender with him in this episode (just like in the Roast episode)

We can also talk about the fact that Sean STILL sleeps in the garage, in the background after learning that he will get a job interview thanks to Laz and Colin, he's getting excited and said :

Sean : "She's got to let me back in the big bed !"

referring to his wife, bro you're telling me it's been since s5ep2 you got your bed privilege revoked 😭

I'm probably over-analyzing this, but I'm sincerely afraid of how it might turn out, especially since it means that seanzlo won't be able to be consensual anymore (since Sean will have lost too many mental faculties and Laszlo will feel like he's abusing his friend)

Idk man, the way Laszlo (and Sean gleefully) insists they're best friends... I'm not feeling it AT ALL..

I think there's a clear distinction between acting stupidly, being a himbo yk (Nandor) and outright regression, and I think Sean has crossed the line with this episode.

It's true that Laszlo and Sean are ✨besties 4ver✨ but like, whenever Sean has the slightest problem, he runs to Laz, like a kid would to a parent for help or comfort.

I HATE IT HERE, NUH UH-

Remember guys, Sean has serious daddy issues, please don't let the show go in that direction of Laszlo becoming Sean's caretaker.

#I'M SCARED FOR MY SHIP OKAY #wwdits sean #sean rinaldi #wwdits laszlo #laszlo cravensworth #seanzlo #laszlo x sean #wwdits s6 #wwdits spoilers #wwdits analysis #kinda #kztpost

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braceletofteeth · 2 months ago

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5, 12, 17, 19!

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

5. Favorite Female Character

Mam from Never Let Me Go (I tried talking about it once before...). Actually, it'd probably be a tie between her and Tanya (from the same series).

But while I admire Tanya because she's this strong, respectable woman, with a truly unconditional love for her child, I still feel like Mam's “flaws” are more compelling to me.

Because- well. I've been the person who judges her, I've been her, and I've been her child. I've been through all of it. And I know how people look at and what they think about women like her—so I know how easy it would have been for the ones who directed the narrative to let its audience throw stones and condemn her character without giving her a chance to speak.

Her point of view doesn't make what she did right (or wrong, for that matter), but I appreciate that there was a space within conversations for her to voice some of her feelings. Her dilemmas, her regrets, her desires.

Many times in fiction, when it's a story focused on kids or teenagers, parents are portrayed as just that—someone's parent. A mom is just a mom, and her story ends where her child's begin. I liked that Mam was a woman, and a mother, who was neither there to be antagonized nor sanctified. I liked that she made a selfish decision, put herself first, and lived the life that she wanted, as fulfilling as it could be. I liked that she knew she couldn't have everything, but still gave herself the choice of what she would rather have, despite what was expected of her. I liked that she was honest with herself, and with the ones that she loved.

12. Most Rewatched BL

After discovering it, I watched Utsukushii Kare five times between May and December last year. Would have watched it even more this year, if it wasn't for the fact I'm only now having time to rest properly. I'm planning to do the next rewatch this month, preferably this week.

The reason why I've rewatched UK many more times than any other BL is that, well, for one, it's not lengthy. You can watch both seasons + the movie and that would be little more than an afternoon/night/morning. Plus you know you're gonna enjoy every second of that time.

It's hard for me to put into concise words why I like this drama so bad, because- Man, I like everything. I like the dynamic between the characters, I like them (and to study them) individually, I like the acting, I like the chemistry between the actors, I like the BEAUTIFUL AMAZING INCOMPARABLE original soundtrack made especially for it, I like the scenarios and the vibes, I like the colors and the lighting and the angles, the moving shots, the still shots, the tension and the timing. I like the humor, I like the drama, and I like the romance. I like the way they express themselves, the acts and words they use; when, where and how they use it. I like how so many little things are meaningful throughout the story. I like how they found the exact kind of love and support they needed in their lives. I like how protective they are over each other; how jealous, mesmerized and touched they can get. I like the co-dependency and the tangible yearning. I like how it's both so intense it's kinda crazy but also so tender it makes me wanna cry.

There's nothing ever made in this world that I'd rather watch more.

17. Best Kiss

(doesn't specify what kind of kiss, but I thought it was already hard enough deciding among the mouth-to-mouth ones—so those were all I took into consideration for this.)

This may sound like a basic answer, but as long as I have eyes, and ears, and a heart... it's got to be PatPran's Rooftop Kiss in Bad Buddy.

I tried not to reach a final verdict too fast and even rewatched some of my personal favorites (KinnPorsche's separation kiss on EP6 of KinnPorsche; NuengPalm's own rooftop kiss on EP5 of Never Let Me Go; SandRay's angry-desperate kiss on EP9 of Only Friends; and others from these same three series), but in the end... There's still nothing that can compare.

It's hard to breathe watching the moments that lead to that kiss. While they kiss, you can hear Pran crying. He kissed that man like that was the only kiss he'd ever get for the rest of his life. He kissed like he had waited for a thousand years, and a thousand more wouldn't be enough to recover after.

Good luck beating that.

19. Favorite Female Actor(s)

(sorry, couldn't decide on just one!)

I was recently captivated by Nina Nutthacha performance in Love Sea. I love how expressive she is, and how you can easily identify and sympathize with the emotions she's portraying. She did impressively well in both the humorous and emotionally poignant scenes. I'm looking forward to more of her works in the future! 💕

Another actress that I like is Samantha Melanie.

Ever since her character in Until We Meet Again won over my heart, seeing her show up in other series always makes me happy, no matter how brief her appearence is. She's the kind that brightens up a room just by being there (and. also she's so pretty 😳).

#ask game #answered #thank you @zeesqueere for giving me an excuse to fangirl on main 💖#//#the gif I used for Mam has nothing to do with what I said about her usjjshsbsbs it's just a quote of hers that I like XD #///#no one talks about the struggle that it is to watch new shows and movies when your brain knows you could just rewatch UK instead 😞#////#if I had to choose a kiss that's not mouth-to-mouth I'd probably choose a hand kiss EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT #either HiraKiyoi's or VegasPete's #those were the kisses that really messed me up

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emilyssky · 2 years ago

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Chapter 2: Slow Motion

PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader

GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating disorders etc.. mentions of blood, swearing, smoking, smut [ dirty talk, oral; giving and receiving, chocking, spanking, praising, degradation, pet names, sometimes Minho is a dick :)

SUMMARY: "Do you remember what you told me the first time we met?"

"What?"

"You said; Always leave people a little better than you found them" he looked at the floor with a small smile for a few seconds and then his eyes found mine. "You really annoyed me when we first met. I envied your optimism and excitement for life. But each time I saw you, I felt a certain thrill. You made me angry, you made me laugh., you made me feel everything. Something about you made me feel a little more alive each time. I know I fucked up and I know I'm an asshole but I'm also brutally in love with you."

[The GIF is not mine ]

The urge to just ball my eyes out right this second is stronger than my desire to live, honestly. I stare at my laptop screen, at my essay which is a total of 2 words. My name. It's an essay that counts for 30% of my final grade and it's due in 9 days. Last night, I was chilling in my bed, scrolling through Pinterest when a reminder that I had set to remind me that the due date is in 10 days went off. Today I woke up at 7 a.m to begin the essay. It's now 11:17 and all I've written is my name. I rest my head on the back of the couch, closing my eyes, trying not to panic but the sudden banging on the door only makes my nerves worst. The banging continues and I know for a fact who's behind the door.

"For fuck's sake, I'm coming!" I yell over the noise.

I open the door only to come face to face with Chan's smirk. He has both of his hands resting on each side of the door, looking down at me. His position makes him look a little taller than he is.

"Hi." He says, wiggling his brows. I know that face.

"Whatever it is, the answer is no." I sigh, looking at him with a straight face.

He groans and pushes me aside. "I haven't said anything yet, stop being so negative." He pops down on the couch. I close the door and walk towards the fridge.

"I don't have to hear it, I know you." I grab a bottle of strawberry milk from his stash that he keeps in my fridge. "And I know that whatever you want to do, I don't want to be involved" I sit down beside him, giving him the bottle.

He takes 3 giant sips before speaking. " At least hear me out first."

I turn to face him, placing my elbow on the back of the couch. "Fine, speak."

A huge smile spreads on his face as he copies my position. "So" He clears his throat. "We are throwing a party this weekend-"

"Absolutely no" I face forward and reach for my laptop but he grabs my elbow to pull me back.

"You didn't even let me finish"

"You don't have to" I pull my hand out of his grip. "I have a really important essay that I have to submit in 9 days. I don't have time for parties."

He runs his hand through his hair and I notice some new rings on his fingers. I grab his hand, bringing it closer to my face.

"Did you get new rings?" I cut him off just when he was about to speak, trying to change the conversation. He rolls his eyes.

"Don't change the subject y/n" He pulls his hand away after letting me take a look at them for a few seconds "You haven't been to a party since my birthday. Come on, have some fun"

"I've been really busy" I stare at the wall in front of me. "With college and stuff."

"Bullshit" He crosses his hands. "All you do is stay in your room, rewatch stupid tv shows, and read fanfics."

"Hey, don't call 'The vampire Diaries' stupid" I point my finger at him.

He grabs it and lowers it from his face. "You're coming. Your depressive episode must come to an end and as your best friend it's my duty to make it happen."

I bring my knees to my chest. "I'm not depressed, I just-"

"Y/n" He places his hand on the back of my head, playing with my hair. "I know you and I can tell when things are not okay. You don't go out anymore, you're skipping classes, you're always in your room and you don't hang out or talk to any of us anymore." He shakes his head "You don't talk to me anymore." He stares at me with a sad look on his face.

My heart hurts at the sight. I don't want him to think that he's doing anything wrong when it's completely my fault. It's been a couple of months that I've been feeling like that. I don't find anything that exciting anymore. I don't enjoy parties like I used to. I can't focus on college or even study. I just feel heavy and tired of everything.

"Please talk to me." He stops playing with my hair and grabs the back of my neck to turn my head towards him. "You know I'm here for you and if something is wrong I want to know"

"I know Channie, but I don't really wanna talk about it you know?" I offer him a smile. The best one I can manage and he drops his hand in defeat.

"At least come to the party with me." He says with pleading eyes. "One night. Forget everything for one night and just have fun."

I haven't been to a party in ages but I'm not really feeling it. I wish I did cause I really miss everyone. Honestly, it seems exhausting to me right now but the puppy eyes Chan is giving me and the way his bottom lip is poking out make me soft inside.

"Ugh, fine I'll come." I groan. His smile takes over half of his face and I can't help but smile at the sight.

"It's going to be a good one, I promise " He stands and drowns the rest of his drink. "It's a great chance to meet some of my friends from the studio."

Chan is a music major and since he's a senior he's spending most of his time in the studio working on his music. He's graduating in a few months and he's pretty set on working in the music industry. He met a couple of guys last year and bonded with them a lot over their mutual love for music. Now they're something like a group and spend hours in the studio, creating songs and sending their work to record labels, hoping to get signed. He's been going on and on about them and how I would really like them.

"Mmm, I would like to stick to the familiar friend group, thank you very much"

He rolls his eyes "Shut up, don't be a bitch, and wear something nice." He grabs his jacket and walks towards the door. "No hoodies or baggy jeans." He turns around again and points his finger at me. "I want the slutty version of you back, I'll pick you up tomorrow at 10."

For the past few weeks, I've been in nothing but sweats and hoodies, occasionally I would maybe wear a pair of jeans. So my reflection in the mirror is a strange sight. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday noon and I've been really careful with my diet the past week but still, my body never changes in my eyes. I stare at myself and move around a bit, trying to feel even a tiny bit of confidence in my outfit but the black dress is still too tight for my liking. I shake my head and sit on my bed to put my heels on. They're not too high, just enough to give me just a little boost. As I'm running around the room trying to gather all the things I need to put in my bag I hear the familiar, loud banging on the door. I quickly throw everything in and make my way towards the living room. I open the door before he has a chance to bang his fist a second time and his eyes immediately widen, scanning me from head to toe.

"Holy fuck y/n," He moves around me to see the full outfit. "You look hot. I had honestly forgotten what your legs look like. Thanks for reminding me." He lifts a brow at me.

I roll my eyes, laughing "Stop it, we're late, let's go" I grab my jacket and push him out the door.

The drive to the frat house was short as usual. It's only about 10 minutes from mine and Emma's apartment but since it's freezing outside and I'm wearing heels I told Chan to come pick me up and he was happy to do so. Going on late-night car rides is one of our favorite things to do together and something we haven't done in a while. The frat house is as crowded as ever but I didn't expect anything less. I shiver as we walk towards the entrance, mentally cursing myself for not wearing thicker tights under my dress. Chan takes my hand in his as we walk inside the house. He pushes through the crowd, leading me to the kitchen. The kitchen of the frat house is pretty large and not as crowded so it's easy to spot Hyunjin's long, blonde hair. He's making out with Jisoo who seats on top of the counter. It's a sight everyone has gotten used to since they started hooking up almost a year ago, yet I don't think the have made it official yet. Still, everybody knows that they're together.

"Get a room" Chan yells. He lets go of my hand and walks over to Felix to make himself a drink. I laugh at how they don't even acknowledge him and continue to heavily make out. I make my way towards Felix and wrap my hand around his neck. I've missed him so much. Hyunjin and Felix are both dance majors, that's how I met them and we started hanging out almost immediately. Due to the classes that we saw each other almost every single day until I started skipping. I also would pass on our afternoon practices, so I think it's been almost 2 weeks since I saw them.

"Hi Felix." I smile at him. He turns his head and his eyes widen a bit before disappearing due to his smile.

"Oh my god y/n. " He pulls me into a hug. "What are you doing here?"

"I wouldn't miss the biggest party of the semester"

"The biggest party will be on New Year's, stupid. Why haven't you answered any of my texts or calls?" He pulls away but keeps me at arm's length by my shoulders.

"She hasn't been answering you either? Thank god, I thought she was mad at me" Hyunjin appears at my side and pulls me into a side hug.

"I've just been crazy busy lately, sorry for disappearing on you guys" I reach for the vodka.

"Let me." Felix stops me and begins to make me a drink. Chan walks back to us with I red cup in his hand.

"The party is crazy." He says and Hyunjin nods smiling.

"Yeah, and we're just getting started" He lifts his cup to us and walks back to the living room.

"Here." Felix presses a red cup into my hand. I bring it to my nose.

"It's vodka redbull."

"Aw, you remember my favorite" I take a sip. I've missed the taste of alcohol.

"Cheers to your comeback" He lifts his own cup. "Bottoms up" . . . . . 3 cups later, I'm in the middle of the living room dancing my ass off. I'm tipsy at this point and the happiest I've been in days. The alcohol, the music, and the sweaty bodies around me are enough for me to forget everything that's been going on in my head. Chan was right, the party is crazy. There are people half naked, dancing on top of tables, couples having sex in all the possible places in the house, and unconscious bodies laying on the floor and couches. I move my hips to the music, completely lost in my own word with Felix dancing in front of me. Suddenly I feel a hand on my lower back and I instantly tense up. I look behind me and I relax as my eyes meet Chan's red eyes. He must have been out smoking, god knows what.

"Come with me. " He grabs my hand and makes his way out of the dancing crowd.

"Why are you dragging me away? I was having fun." I whine as he leads me into another living room area beside the kitchen.

"I told you I want you to meet my friends" He stops in front of the couch where 3 guys are sitting, talking among themselves.

"Guys this is y/n, the friend I was talking about " All 3 of the guys look up at us, pausing their conversation.

"Y/n, this is Jisung, Changbin and Seungmin." Chan points at them in order and then takes a seat on the couch beside Seungmin.

"Hi, nice to meet you guys" I wave awakrdly and move to take a seat on the coffee table in front of them, since the couch is full.

"Chan has been talking about you none stop, so we're glad we finally get to meet you." The guy named Jisung says, smiling. His smile is attractive. Well, he's attractive. His hair is dark brown and a bit on the longer side, coming down to his jawline, he's dressed and a simple black button-up with the top 2 buttons open exposing his quite wide chest.

"Yeah, Chan has been talking about you guys a lot too." I return his smile.

"Are you a music major as well?" Changbin asks.

"Um, no I'm a dance major. "

"That's really cool. How do you know Chan?"

"I met him on my first day of college actually, I was lost and I asked him for help-"

"And the rest is history" Chan finishes my sentence with a chuckle.

"There you guys are." I turn my head to see a guy dressed in all black with a red cup in his hand walking towards us and sitting on the arm of the couch next to Chan. He doesn't even acknowledge me until Chan speaks up.

"Minho, this is y/n " He nods his head in my direction and the guy's eyes turn to me. I instantly freeze, my mind recognizing his face immediately. Bits of memories flash through my eyes, of the night I saw Jackson fucking another girl, the rude stranger on the rooftop, and the terrible hangover I suffered the next day. His eyes also freeze, mouth parting slightly as he scans me up and down before blinking. I couldn't stop thinking about that night for months, replaying our conversation over and over in my head or at least what I remembered, and trying not to forget his face. I was silently searching the campus for him since that night, hoping he was a student here but a guy as gorgeous as he was wouldn't go unnoticed by the girls here. I let my eyes study him a bit more. He looks almost the same as I remember.

"Y/n this is Minho."

So his name is Minho.

It's hard to tell if he fully remembers me or if he even wants to in front of everyone so I choose to play it safe. "Nice to meet you, Minho" I smile, offering my hand. Instead of taking it like a normal person would he just nods in my direction before taking a sip of his drink. My lips form a tight line, embarrassment swallows me whole when I feel everyone's eyes on me.

"Where were you? " Seungmin clears his throat at the awkward interaction "You've been gone for like half an hour."

"Our boy got laid" Changbin's pushing Seungmin with his shoulder but Minho just rolls his eyes at them.

"I wasn't fucking, I went outside for a smoke and some peace and quiet, this party is fucking crazy." He says expressionlessly.

"Yeah, it's the biggest party yet" I comment, trying to join the conversation, unsuccessfully though cause his head doesn't even turn in my direction, ignoring me once again. Well, his rude attitude definitely has evolved over the past year. Chan notices my bothered expression and jumps into the conversation.

"New Year's somehow going to be even crazier." He says.

"Yeah, but on New Year's we're going clubbing right?" Minho asks

What? There's no way. We spend every New Year's eve together. Me, Chan, Felix, Emma, and Hyunjin.

"It's kinda like a thing, to spend New Year's at the frat. We've been doing it since Chan joined the frat house. But you guys should definitely come." I say.

"Well, plans are changing this year." Minho lifts his brows mockingly, his eyes glaring at me in a challenging way. I don't know how that night almost a year ago I didn't curse him out but then again maybe he wasn't as much of a dick back then as he is now. I bite the inside of my cheek trying to control the annoyance that's building up inside me.

Chan lightly nudges Minho with his elbow. "What?" Minho stares at him blankly.

"Anyway" Chan clears his throat "We'll see". At that, I roll my eyes. Chan's always the person trying to avoid any conflict. I, on the other hand, usually start them cause I'm physically unable to keep my mouth shut.

"Chan told us that you're helping him write most of his lyrics" Jisung changes the topic.

It takes me a second to snap out of my thoughts and turn to Jisung. "Um, yeah I really enjoy writing, it comes quite easily to me, so whenever Chan is writing I love to join."

"She's really good at guitar as well. She's helped me with tons of pieces whenever I was stuck" Chan adds, resting his elbow on his knees.

"You play guitar?" Changbin's eyes widen a bit, and I can feel my cheeks heat up at the sudden attention that Chan put on me. He loves going that, putting me in the spotlight, and pushing himself in the background.

"Well, I knew the basics, but Chan was the one to actually teach me." I give him most of the credit but he just smirks and waves me off with his head.

"So you write and play music? How come you're not a music major?" Seungmin asks.

"It takes a lot more than just playing a few chords on the guitar and writing some lines to major in music Seungmin." Minho says before I have the time to answer, leaning back to look at Seungmin behind Chan's back.

Honestly, if it wasn't for Chan I would have asked him what's his fucking problem right in his face but the last thing I wanna do is create an uncomfortable situation. Chan's friends seems genualy nice and he's been wanting me to meet them for so long. So instead, I poke the inside of my mouth with my tongue and release a loud sigh, not bothering to hide my annoyance.

"I think I'm going to find Jisoo, she was looking for me earlier." I focus my eyes on Minho, who stares back at me as I get up from the table. I break eye contact with him and turn to the rest of the guys. " It was really nice meeting you guys." I offer them a smile before turning around and walking towards the kitchen area, deciding to calm my anger with some alcohol. . . . . . . .

My anger towards Minho and his dick-like behavior has almost disappeared after 5 more shots of tequila. I force myself to ignore the millions of questions that fill my head about him and have fun. It's fine that he doesn't remember me or if he wants to be an ass I tell myself over and over as I find myself searching the party with my eyes for any sign of him. It turns out the rest of his friends are actually really fun and I've been dancing and drinking with them for the past hour. Chan introduced his friends to the rest of the group and everyone loved them. At this point, everyone is drunk and dancing like there is no tomorrow. I've been dancing mostly with Jisung and Felix, Hyunjin and Jisoo have excused themselves upstairs, Chan has taken over as the Dj after complaining for almost an hour about the shitty music they've been playing, Changbin is completely wasted and dancing like a maniac making everyone laugh and Emma has been mostly dancing and talking with Seungmin. As I'm dancing between the guys, I noticed Emma and Seungmin leaving the dance floor and sitting on the couch a few feet away and I smile. From the minute Chan introduced them, they've only really talked to each other. Emma is my best friend and roommate and a few months ago she and her boyfriend of 2 years broke up after she caught him cheating. She was completely shattered and hasn't really talked or hooked up with anyone since, she closed herself entirely, so seeing her talking to Seungmin makes me really happy cause as far as I've seen he's a great guy.

"I'm going to get a drink" I yell at the boys over the music at which they nod and I try to push my way out of the dancing crowd. I reach the kitchen, sporting only about 5 or 6 people chatting among themselves, and walk directly towards the drinks. I'm definitely more than tipsy at this point but not completely wasted like most of the people at this party. I grab a cup and begin to pour some vodka when a voice makes me completely freeze in place.

"Y/n?" I slowly turn around and come face to face with the one person that I wish I'd never spoke to again, the guy that I thought I loved, and the guy who broke my heart a year ago like it was nothing. I look up at his face and he smiles a bit. The sight is almost painful.

"What are you doing here Jackson?" I say, trying to keep my voice as steady as I can.

He stares at me for a bit before running a hand throw his hair, smiling at the floor. "I heard that it was going to be one of the biggest parties and you know me" He grabs the cup from my hand and drowns the vodka I poured earlier. "I'm a sucker for a great party"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Yes. Sadly, I know you." I'm surprised at how he and his friends managed to sneak in here without Chan, Felix or Hyunjin seeing them but then again there are close to 100 people here.

"Come on, don't be like that Y/n" He shakes his head and looks behind him, at the rest of his friends that are chatting with some girls by the kitchen entrance, probably making sure that none can hear us. "You know I tried talking to you but you pushed me away every single time." He takes a step closer to me and I instinctively take one backward, hitting the counter.

"We don't have anything to talk about, you are a manipulative piece of shit. I opened up to you and you played me like a fool. Everything was a fucking lie, all of our talks and moments, everything was fake." I try not to raise my voice but I can feel my emotions getting the best of me as my eyes begin to water. Ever since we broke up, almost a year ago, I haven't talked to him at all. I occasionally saw him around campus or at parties but only from afar. With Chan, Hyunjin, or Felix beside me, he never had the chance to come and talk to me. All of the words that I never got to say and all of the things I realized while being away from him are now spilling out of me.

He wets his lips and places his hands on the counter trapping me. My heart races almost instantly at his movements but I try to keep my face straight. "You know, that I wasn't faking shit y/n, I just made a mistake, I should have told you, I know but I'm trying to change. I wanted to apologize about what happened but-"

"Don't you even dare" I hold my hand up between us. "Don't even dare apologize about what happened. The way you were treating me is unforgivable," I say slowly and then push lightly at his chest forcing him to take a step back. It's funny that he thinks that the reason of our break up was the pathetic lies and the fact that I was simply a bet for him, when in reality that was the cherry on the cake. "Now please, get the fuck away from me. I can't even stand to be near you." I try to walk past him but he grabs my wrist and pushes me back to the counter.

"You never let me fucking explain." He raises his voice at me and suddenly I'm back in his apartment, pushed against the wall. The familiar feeling of fear spreads down my spine.

I swallow hard. "I don't wanna hear shit Jackson, leave me the fuck alone" I once again try to walk away but he forcefully grabs me by my arm, making me slam into his chest.

"You're not going anywhere until you hear me out" I can now smell the alcohol in his breath and it makes my stomach tighten. Some of our worst fights would happen when he was drunk and would lose complete control over his words and his actions.

"Let go of me." I try to free my hands but he tightens his grip and pushes me back to the counter.

"Y/n, please listen to me." His words are gentle but his actions are rough and painful causing me to wince.

"Jackson, you're hurting me, let go." Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as panic slowly takes over me.

"She said 'let go'." A voice drawled and my head snaps to the right, only to see Minho entering the kitchen.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jackson relaxes his grip slightly, focusing his eyes on him. Minho's eyes went from my trapped hands to my eyes to Jackson.

"Let her go." His face is relaxed but the tightness in his jaw is visible.

"Is he your boyfriend or some shit?" Jackson releases my hands and takes a step back looking between me and Minho annoyed.

"That's none of your business." I say harshly, feeling a bit more safe knowing that we're not completely alone. He takes an angry step towards me again but before he can make another move, Minho steps in front of me and pushes him backwards. My hand shoots up to my mouth in shock.

Jackson stumbles back a few steps. "Did you just push me?" Jackson's friends make their way beside him after hearing him raise his voice. "I'm trying to fucking talk to her, what's you're problem?" He tries to grab Minho but Mark, one of his best friends, holds him back. I take a step to the right, using Minho as a shield, my hand grabbing his shirt instinctively out of fear. The action causes him to look back at me. His eyebrows draw together and I can see his jaw tighten even more.

"I'm pretty sure that she made it rather clear that she doesn't wanna talk to you," Minho says in a deep voice, turning to face Jackson again. "You should just leave." He grabs my hand "And don't come near her again." He walks past them, dragging my still shocked body behind him, and out of the kitchen.

He continues to walk through the crowd and up the stairs. I begin to feel a little dizzy, my mind blurry at this point. Suddenly the music is too loud, the people are too many and my memories with Jackson are too intense in my mind. I don't even look at Minho as he leads me inside the last room of the hallway. As soon as we enter he drops my hand and walks towards the window. I look around the room, quickly recognizing that it's Felix's. My body instantly relaxes at the familiarity of the room and I sit on the bed. My ears are ringing painfully loud, my heart is pounding and as much as I'm trying to control my breathing it comes out loud, sharp, and quicker than normal, catching Minho's attention. His head snaps in my direction.

"Are you okay?" He walks towards me, his eyes searching my face. I try to answer him, but the words die down my throat and I grip the bed sheets tighter. Minho drops to his knees in front of me.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" He tries to keep his voice steady but his eyes are looking at mine with worry.

"I-I'm...I t-think I'm h-having.." I try to form a sentence but my breathing quickens and panic rushes through my body.

"Hey, hey look at me" Minho places both of his hands on my bare knees, bringing his face closer to mine but my eyes are glued to the ground as I desperately try to calm down. This is not happening.

"Y/n, look at me" His voice is demanding, making me lift my head immediately. His eyes are calm, and his face is relaxed.

"It's going to be fine. Take a deep breath. Focus on my eyes and try to match my breathing." He says slowly, never breaking eye contact. He starts taking deep slow breaths and I try my best to match my breathing to his.

His fingertips make small circles on my thighs. "You're safe, it's going to be alright." My breathing begins to slow and I close my eyes slowly releasing the tight grip I had on Felix's sheets. When I open my eyes, I realize how close Minho is, his eyes are fixated on my face. I hadn't had the chance to notice any of his facial features that well earlier due to the dark lighting of the living room and the distance between us and I don't really recall exactly his face from a year ago. But now that he's a few inches away from me and with the light that's coming through the window and the lamb on Felix's nightstand I can clearly see how beautiful Minho's face is. His hair is a dark shade of brown, falling into his eyes a bit, his eyes are big and almost black but somehow incredibly bright. They hold no emotion in this moment but something about them is warm. My eyes move to his lips, his lips are big as well. They are heart-shaped and full, the kind of lips you would die to kiss. My eyes travel back to his and suddenly a huge wave of embarrassment runs through me. I can't believe I just had a panic attack right in front of him, I can't believe that I saw Jackson and I can't believe how stupid I must look right now. For some reason, Minho isn't really fond of me, and now not only did he see me being embarrassingly weak but I also just shamelessly checked him out. My eyes drop to my hands that are now resting between my legs and then I notice that his hands are still resting on top of my knees. Neither of us says anything for a few minutes but the silence is making me feel even more embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry that you had to see this, I-I don't know what happened. I usually can control my panic attacks well, I honestly don't know what took over me." I find the courage to say, not looking him straight in the eye.

He tilts his head a bit, his eyes never leaving my face. "Do you get panic attacks often?"

His question catches me off guard. "Um, I don't know, I guess. I've been having them since high school, but lately, there've been getting a little worst." I answer honestly. The way he acts and speaks now is completely different than when I met him the first or second time but then again he might pity me right now. I hate it when people pity me. There are a lot of times that Chan looks at me that way and it angers me a lot.

"You don't have to be ashamed. I have a lot of people that deal with panic attacks around me, I'm used to it." He says sounding almost bored like he had this conversation many times before. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"No." I say sharply "We broke up a long time ago."

"Well it looks like you're not over it."

"It's not that, it's just that seeing him again brought back a lot of bad memories" I swallow hard. Minho stares at me, his eyebrows frown suddently, as if a thought crossed his mind and I stare back at him not knowing what to say, We stay like this for a few seconds until suddenly he removes his hands from my knees and quickly places them on the bed trapping me between them. He brings his face closer to mine, our noses almost touching. His movements were so quick and unexpected that I flinched slightly, my hands instinctively coming up. Minho's eyes darken and he drops his head, sighing. I quickly drop my hands to my sides. He removes his hands for the bed and starts walking toward the middle of the room, his hands now resting on his hips and his head still looking down.

"It's him right?" He turns to face me.

"What?" The confusion lasts only second until my blood run cold.

"And it looks like you had to defend yourself way too many times." His tone is a mixture of disgust and disapproval.

My eyes slightly widen. "What are you talking about? You just scared me, why would you do that?" I struggle with my words. I tried really hard to hide what was happening between Jackson and me from everyone and the thought of Minho knowing makes me panic immediately. I remember telling him about it the night we met, thinking I would never see him again, I never expected him to be one of Chan's friends. Realazation slowly starts to hit me, that my secret is no longer safe.

"It looks to me like you were already scared y/n." He stares at me so intensely that I'm forced to look away. I'm embarrassed and annoyed. I knew coming to this party was a wrong idea. I just wanna go home and I definitely don't want to be having this conversation, especially with Minho.

"Look, thanks for helping me with Jackson and with my panic attack, but anything else is not really any of your business. You met me a few hours ago and you just acted like a dick, why do you suddenly care about my personal life?" I get up from the bed, annoyed. Something flashed over his eyes and any emotion and softness that was in them disappeared in a second. He drags his tongue along his bottom teeth and turns to stare through the window. "Just forget everything that happened and please don't say anything to Chan about this" I begin to walk towards the door, just wanting to remove myself from the situation and this party in general.

"Why? Chan doesn't know that his best friend was dating an abusive bastard?" His words make me freeze before my hand reaches the doorknob. My fingers close, turn into fists and I turn around to face Minho's cold gaze.

''It's none of your goddamn business Minho. " I say through my teeth, trying to control my temper. "Just keep your mouth shut"

"Why are you protecting him?" Minho raises his tone for the first time since I met him and takes a step towards me. At this point, I'm boiling mainly cause I feel threatened but also cause he's asking questions that I don't have the answers to.

"I'm not protecting him." I take a step towards him as well.

"You're acting so fucking stupid." He raises his tone a bit more.

"Why the fuck do you care Minho?" We're face to face and I'm angrier than I've been in a long time. I did everything I could to hide this part of my relationship and save me the embarrassment that I would feel if anyone knew. They would all pity me, they would think that I'm weak. I can't even imagine how everyone would look at me if they knew what was going on. It's a secret I want to keep from everyone and I will not let some noisy, rude guy who doesn't know shit about me change that. Silence had fallen upon the room once again. Eventually, Minho breaks our angry eye contact and sighs.

"You're right. It's none of my business. If you wanna protect that son of a bitch and be that stupid, feel free" And with that he walks past me and out of the room.

#stray kids x reader #skz smut #lee know #kpop smut #lee know x reader #skz fanfic #skz lee know #skz imagines #stray kids #straykidsfanfic #stray kids lee know #lee minho #K-pop #kpopfanfic

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heyidkyay · 2 years ago

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I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name

Part Seven

A/n: Might've cried a lil writing this part:/ But I hope you enjoy it all the same x

Summary: In life, things changed. The boys you'd once grown up with were men now, and famous ones at that. The type that toured the world and had millions of adoring fans.

The five of you shared a shit ton of history. But you also shared a lot of mixed emotions for one of them in particular, a certain drummer.

Warnings: Talks of a struggling relationship with a parent, (doesn't go into detail but alludes slightly to other things, so take that as you will), and the mention of previous deaths of relatives (again, there's not much detail)

Masterlist

“Mum?” I croaked out.

…

The woman in which had birthed me and given me my name was stood in the very same cafe, ignorant to my presence.

There was no denying it was her. Her hair was still the same shade it’d always been, only now it was cut into a sleek sort of bob that better suited her face. She was thinner now too, I supposed. Her figure only accentuated by the fitted silk shirt she had tucked into a pair of dark jeans.

I scanned over every detail she had to offer me, or rather the world, but came to an abrupt pause when I saw a sudden similarity between us. It was a simple one really, but I saw then it in the way she was laughing away heartily at whoever she was on the phone to, her smile so wide and unapologetic. It was very same smile I'd caught myself wearing in pictures with friends, or when I rewatched old videos of us at gigs.

The realisation made my stomach turn, as though everything inside of me was slowly being vacuumed up into the big black hole that had suddenly replaced it.

I was snapped back to reality rather quickly when George’s head whipped around to see what I was freaking out over. His wide eyes darting between both myself and the woman who was stood waiting in line for her order, his jaw dropped. He looked just as unsure on what to do here as I was.

Because, well, what were you supposed to do when the parent you hadn’t seen since leaving home was stood right in front of you? It was a headfuck, a complete and utter headfuck. That had me ripping at the very seams.

George must’ve seen it on my face too because he reached across the table then to take my trembling hand in his, forcing me to divert my attention. My eyes found his.

“Birdie…”

His low whisper paired with that godforsaken nickname wasn’t even enough to distract me from the way I was beginning to spiral. Suddenly, I felt so out of it. As though I was floating out of my body, or on another plane all together.

I took a deep breath then shook my head at him, hoping to somehow clear my mind.

“I know, it’s fine- I’m fine. I’m okay. Really.” But I didn’t know who I was trying to reassure here, him or me. “She just, brings something out in me. I didn’t expect to see her here is all.”

“No shit,” George mumbled distractedly with another long glance over his right shoulder. When he looked back at me, he hunched further across the table to keep his voice low. "You gonna say something?"

I blinked, but the thing that shocked me wasn't his question, it was the real anger I saw then in his eyes. It wasn’t a typical emotion for George.

“Sorry.” I apologised for the interruption, then attempted to steer us back on track. This wasn’t about her. This was me trying to fix things with George. Us trying to salvage the friendship we’d had long before we’d ever messed things up between us by getting together. “Where were we again?”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. Not with me.” George interrupted, his grip on my hand tightening by a fraction. “You don’t have to pretend. I know what it was like. What you went through with her, how bad things got. I was there. You don’t have to build back up all those walls you tried so hard to knock down around me.”

I felt my eyelids fall shut when that familiar burning sensation begun to tingle the tip of my nose and started to sting just behind my eyes. My throat was slowly closing and the hairs that ran down my arms stood on end.

It was hard to hear, especially when I’d worked so hard to come to terms with the distance that our breakup had wedged between us. But ultimately, that was only because I knew he was right. He knew better than anyone what I’d gone through. Seen more than I’d care to admit I’d wanted him to.

“I just can’t do this. I-" I choked out, the tremble in my hands seemed to invade the rest of my body now. Everything appeared to be working against me.

George was still there though when I reopened my eyes, and I had a vague guess as to how red and watery they must’ve looked as I stared back at him hopelessly.

“Take a second, yeah?” He murmured to me, his thumb gently skimming over the back of the hand he still had yet to let go of.

The action seemed to soften things somehow, gave me a feeling to ground myself to. I swallowed down the tension I'd felt balling in the back of my throat, letting it sit heavily now in my chest.

I couldn’t bring myself to look back at her though, at the hazy stranger I just about recognised.

Not yet.

“When was the last time you spoke to her?” George questioned me quietly and I couldn't silence the humourless chuckle I let go of, playing with the fraying tear in the booth’s tablecloth that someone must have caught their zip on.

“Other than that birthday card? My nana’s funeral.”

George’s brow pinched further. “That was almost a year ago now though. I remember it. You two hardly said more than six words to one another.”

I shrugged, feeling small. “Well…”

With a sigh that was more of a scoff, George shook his head and worked his jaw. “Who’d you spend Christmas with then?”

I mustered up a sad smile. “Matty’s family took me in. With both my grandparents gone now, and well, us being…”

George dipped his chin curtly, eyes darting away for the briefest of seconds just as the vein in his neck ticked. I tried not to react to it.

“I didn’t have many people offering to put me up.” I told him honestly as I glanced towards the counter, shrugging a shoulder again. The rip in the tablecloth had grown now too.

“I-” George begun but faltered as he inhaled, sucking in far too sharply for it to go unnoticed. But then he shook his head as though irritated and his brown eyes found mine again shortly after. “Do you want to say something now? To her, I mean.”

I felt myself frown as I thought it over. Did I? It was a chance to face her again, to talk things over, maybe get some answers now that I was older and not so sheltered. But, then again…

My gaze flickered up to see her still stood there waiting. She was by the counter this time, leaning in and flashing a smile at the worker whilst she accepted the drink she’d ordered. I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

George seemed to have followed my line of sight too and he turned back towards me a bit too quickly to get my reply. “Well? This is your last chance.”

And I watched on as she called out her hasty thanks, still prattling away on the phone whilst she started to make her leave. The only thought that crossed my mind though was whether or not it was the same number I’d tried calling her on a few weeks prior. Or in the months before that. I opened my mouth to say something, but I just couldn’t do it. Unsure if I even wanted to.

She was gone then. A whirl of hair and sweet laughter as the wind swept her back up, closing the door firmly shut behind her.

It felt like a strange metaphor for my life.

I slumped.

The cafe seemed to grow nosier after that and I wondered when everything had started to dial back for me. George was still there though, studying me closely like he always used to do. Only, it was for an entirely different reason this time around.

“Maybe it’s for the best.” He said, looking at me almost like he could sense every thought I was thinking, every feeling I felt. I dropped my eyes so that I could paste on a semi-convincing smile.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“You can let it out, you know. If you need.” George mentioned, and he chewed on the edge of his bottom lip for a blink before shrugging lightly, on anyone else the gesture might’ve appeared abashed but whilst George was many things, he was far from that. Not with me at least. “Dunno. Just used to help.”

And it had. Whenever things would happen, when a memory would resurface, or I'd just be having one of those days… I’d close up and hide away from everything. It was only whenever George prompted it out of me, or decided to my mind off of things, did I see the bigger picture again.

In the time we’d been apart, those days had grown a little more frequent. Longer too. Because I hadn’t had that around to distance me from the thoughts. There was no light to keep the shadows at bay.

“I don’t know. It’s just weird, ain’t it?” I swallowed thickly and had to force my gaze outside, focusing on all the chips in the pavement and the birds that were now scouting around the decking. “Of all the people. All the places! And when I’m here with you too, trying to muddle through all our shit. Just feels like someone’s gone a dropped a massive bomb on my life.”

I waited a while for George to say something, to maybe pull his hand away or draw me in closer. But he just gave me that moment. And I didn’t know whether to be grateful or not for it, especially when it only seemed to spur me on.

“She was supposed to be all these things. A role model. Someone I could turn to. Look up to. A person I could always count on to be on my side. But she was barely ever there. Not when it counted.”

I could feel every hurt I'd ever felt in the breath I took then.

“She was meant to protect me. Keep me safe. But after dad- she just let anyone walk in and out of our lives. She was just a doorstop to them, a warm bed, and I had to face the brunt of it all. The leers and the looks.”

I scoffed, blinking away all the emotions of that sad little girl.

“You’d have thought that after his death, she’d might've wanted to keep me close. Make sure nothing bad happened to me too. But she just shut me out. Sent me away- to my nana’s, and my aunt’s.”

My next whisper was sharp and it stung, it tainted the air around me.

“She couldn’t even bare to look at me, G.”

George was there. Sliding into the booth beside me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and shielded me in his side, blocking anyone else who might have looked over then from watching me fall apart. I focused on my breathing, in and out. Out then in. The fog seemed to lift slightly as I continued, and George must’ve sensed it because he let up a little.

“Sorry," I sniffed, "If I’d've known that today would end up like this I would’ve spared you the lost time.” I made a chuckling sound that was mostly belittling and rolled my eyes at myself.

“Oi, don’t say that. She’s the one who fucked up. She’s the only one who should be apologising. Alright?”

I nodded slightly, because I couldn't not, and took the tissues he handed me, ruffling them between my fingertips.

“It just hurts, I 'spose. ‘Cause somewhere deep down inside, I’ve always sort of felt like I was disposable.”

That confession felt like too much even in the moment and so I turned away from him, sniffing as I blinked back the welling tears again. Only, one slipped free, but I was quick to swipe it away, chuckling sadly at myself.

“God, bet you regret asking me out now.”

George was sure in the shake of his head. Face solemn. “Never. Just thankful to be here.”

I snorted softly in turn, not believing him for a second.

“It’s the truth.” He shrugged, gifting me one of his small lopsided smiles.

I used the tissues then to wipe at my nose and caught him staring as I did. I tried to smile back. “Alright if I go clean myself up? Feel like I’ve been hit by a lorry or summat.”

George and I shared a small chuckle between us and he nodded as he stood from his seat, allowing me to slide past.

“I’ll just be a minute.” I assured him, but it was useless as he only rolled his eyes at me. Waving me off.

—

By the time I’d sorted myself out and fixed my makeup as best as I could, George was nowhere to be found.

My heart lurched as I walked back over to where we'd just been seated, eyes scanning the length of the shop whilst a million stupid thoughts ran through my head at a million miles an hour, only to be silenced by the very sight of him waiting outside for me by the curb. Obviously having gone out for a cigarette whilst he waited.

I calmed my racing heart. He hadn’t just upped and left.

As I made my exit and thanked the gent who held the door open for me, its bell jingled, grabbing George’s attention from where he’d been toeing the outline of a drain. His lips curved up into a smile as I made my way over.

“Alright?” He nodded and I copied the action, releasing some of that remaining tension I’d just been working on shredding off in the girls loo’s.

“Can I?” I requested, titling my chin over towards the fag he held. His eyes dropped down to it too and he took a small drag before willingly giving it up. I hummed my appreciation, inhaling deeply.

“Feeling any better?” He quizzed, squinted stare unmoving from me as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“Air helps.” I replied, then tried for a joke, wanting to lighten the weighted atmosphere I’d created. “But hey, they say bad things come in three’s, so I won’t be too surprised if I end up under a bus on the walk home.”

“Don’t say shit like that.” George grimaced, and shook his head as he looked away from me, seemingly paler at the very thought. I glanced away too, feeling a bit stupid.

A long silence fell between us then and I used it to finish off the cigarette he’d lit. Already itching for another. But I wouldn’t. At least not yet. Not until I’d made it home and started running a bath. Waiting for that second where I could just hide away from the rest of the world again. An avoidance method I often frequented, which was appearing more and more enticing after everything that had happened over the last two days.

Still, I couldn’t leave things like this with George. I didn’t want to, try as I might. He’d been such a big part of my life growing up and today showed me that that fact hadn’t changed, even though our relationship had.

Whatever had happened between us in the lead up to our breakup, and the period after it, could be sorted out if we tried hard enough. I didn’t want to lose him, I couldn’t. And if things panned out the way I hoped for them too, then I’d have to get used to dealing with a lot more than just patching things up between us, like him eventually falling in love with somebody else.

Just the idea of it had me rolling, nausea creeping its way up my spine making my head spin.

I moved to stub out the butt on a nearby brick wall, tossing it into the plant box sat outside the cafe. George had calmed somewhat and was gazing over, watching me as I walked back towards him.

I rubbed at the tip of my nose, eyes lingering on my feet a moment too long. He cleared his throat.

“I um, Ross and I were gonna meet up down the local in a bit for a drink, if you wanted to join.” He mentioned, scratching the back of his head. “Only if you fancy it though. Figure we could just put this on pause for a bit. Let you get your head sorted first.”

I blinked, a little surprised. By the offer or his sincerity, I wasn’t quite sure. But I found myself nodding slowly anyhow, shocking myself even further. The hot, relaxing bath I’d been dreaming about vanishing in a blink.

“Uh yeah, yeah that sounds nice, I think.” I replied, caught off guard. But I inhaled and got over myself enough to give him a sly smile. “Did MacDonald plan it this way, believing that our meet would end in shit?”

George snorted at the insinuation, smirking over at me from where he stood rocking back and forth on the paved path. “Maybe, but when’s he ever been this prepared for anything?”

I gave a light laugh, unable to help myself. Because wasn't that the truth.

“So we’re encouraging this sort of behaviour now?”

“Why not? He’s growing up.” George grinned and I felt my feet moving before my brain could catch up.

“Alright then. Lead the way, Daniels.”

Part eight>

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an-au-blog · 11 months ago

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about this

Oh, okay, I got you ;))

@snowlynxdraws this one's for you<3

(though for my own sanity, I'm going to keep very little of the actual movie because I don't remember most and don't want to rewatch it, tho I'm gonna leave that one iconic dialogue...)

Sanji was Luffy's friend, not Zoro's. He was also friends with Nami sweet and lovely Robin, not the Marimo. He loved hanging out with Usopp and even the upperclassmen Franky and the weird music teacher Brook. But. Not. Zoro.

So it came off as a surprise that he always ended up in situations where he and Zoro were (sometimes literally) pushed together.

It really was a pity, because, in the beginning, they were getting along. And Sanji wouldn't exactly admit he enjoyed his brief bond, but he also couldn't deny he missed it sometimes. Their dynamic only changed because that stupid marimo started picking fights out of nowhere. At first, he thought it was for fun, but by now Sanji thought he might as well genuinely hate him.

Sanji was in the changing room with the rest of the team. He started track not because he wanted to, but because the soccer team didn't have enough people and the cooking club wasn't "an official extracurricular". He didn't mind it, but was it often at the same time as the kendo club. Which meant he and Zoro saw each other and possibly even walked home together quite often.

Sanji could never really hated Zoro, that was the problem, because he tried, but could never really learn to do it. Zoro on the other hand, seemed to despise him.

So it seemed quite odd that every time, Zoro insisted on them waiting for each other. It wasn't even like they split ways at some point, it was just Zoro walking him home. He was curious, he had to know, so one day he decided to ask.

"Why do you keep insisting on walking home together." It was a simple and straightforward question.

Zoro scoffed with a smug smile. "Wouldn't you like to know, curly..."

"Yes, I would! That's why I'm asking, idiot!" Sanji could feel him getting on his nerves again. But he wanted to be the bigger man and not start the inevitable fight.

He took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

Zoro's head shot to him. "What are you doing? Where did you even get those?"

Sanji wanted to act cool "Why, because it's illegal for someone my age to buy-"

"Don't you know how horrible those are for your health? Especially your lungs, you do track for crying out loud!" He sounded serious, "They could kill you, you know..." even a bit sad.

The blond boy didn't know what to say. He never expected any amount of care to be coming from Zoro. He quickly thought of a response, he couldn't let the marimo have the moral high ground!

"What do you care," he tisked, "it's not like it's your business how much I live! And with the way you act, you getting on my nerves all the time will kill me long before these things do," he waved the cigarette in demonstrated. And continued walking. A bit of a low blow, he knew that... but he panicked.

Zoro was stuck in place, still trying to comprehend what the other said: "Getting on your- wha- Hey, wait up!" He ran to catch up with Sanji. Zoro was completely silent for the rest of the walk. It was like he was sulking.

They reached Sanji's house. It was one of those big houses with a pool and a big backyard. Sora - Sanji's mother, got a lot out of her ex after the divorce. Ever since Sanji's older siblings moved out, it's been a meeting spot for Luffy and the others. Reiju moved back in after she finished college, but it's only for her so-called "year of freedom", before her master's degree. Sanji hated that every time they got close to his house he just knew she could see them. He didn't have evidence she was there, but he had that feeling.

"Welp, bye." Sanji tried to make this awkward moment as short as possible, but a hand grabbed him.

Zoro was looking down with a thoughtful look, his other hand was gripping and fidgeting with the strap of his backpack.

"What." No answer... "What is it?" he tried to keep his voice down but with all the annoyance that was building up, the words seemed hissed and meaner than expected.

He didn't answer just let go and walked away. Sanji didn't think much of it, sure it was weird, but he was sure it wasn't a big deal.

The next day Zoro left early. Offhandedly Sanji asked "Where is he going?"

"He wanted to go home early." One of his teammates answered.

Which Sanji found odd for two reasons: 1. that was not the way they usually left, in fact, it was the opposite way. And 2. Zoro rarely left early from practice, dare he say never.

Sanji didn't think much of it. Until it happened again. And then again. And then it was Saturday and he thought that at least they'll see each other then. And just like expected, every one of them came over to his house to hang out. Nami mainly came for the pool, Chopper came to eat the sweets that Sora always bakes for him, and all of them had favorite parts of hanging out. And now that Zoro was here and avoiding him, with an ache in his chest, Sanji had to finally admit that his favorite part was Zoro.

Sanji tried telling Usopp, as the only friend he'd trust enough to tell - he would never tell anyone, he could lie if anyone asked, and even if (on the off chance) he told the truth half of them wouldn't believe him. So he tells him that he thinks Zoro is avoiding him. To which Usopp laughs and tells him there's no way that's the case. But Sanji knew it was! The swordsman would see Sanji approach him and jump in the water. When he tells him he wants to talk, Zoro flips him off saying he's already talking to Luffy. When he finally catches him alone, he says he's already leaving.

It was infuriating.

Zoro left early. And all Sanji did was watch the door close in front of him. He had to snap out of it, so Usopp kicked him in the shins.

Sanji: Ow! What the hell man?

Usopp: Are you insane! Go after him!

Sanji: What?

Usopp: Yeah yeah no need to gloat, something really is up,

he started pushing him out,

Usopp: Now go, go, go, before he's too far!

Sanji put on his running shoes and started running after him. Zoro turned around, saw him, and started walking faster. The anger only fueled Sanji to catch up to him even faster.

Sanji: Hey! Heeey!

He shouted from the distance to make the other stop, but he didn't.

Sanji, a few steps from Zoro, launched himself forward with a jump that would give Olympians a run for their money: Maaarimooo!

Zoro stumbled forward, Sanji ganging from his back, grabbing onto whatever clothing item that would keep him from falling. It took exactly 15 seconds for Zoro to lose balance and fall.

Zoro: What is wrong with you! You could've killed me!

Sanji, groaning from the fall but still holding on: I wanna talk to you.

Zoro: No, you don't.

Sanji tightened his grip: I do! Why are you avoiding me?

Zoro: I'm not! Let go, you're gonna rip my jacket!

Sanji: Stop lying! You're avoiding me! Just admit it, you won't even talk to me in class, you leave without me, what did I do to you, you big baby?!

Zoro: Why should you care, you hate me!

Sanji:...

As if on cue, rain started to pour down. It was like the sky had ripped open.

Zoro, pulling Sanji up: Shit, we gotta get out of here. Come on.

He grabbed Sanji by the hand and dragged him two more blocks before opening a front door. He dropped his keys on the shelf and took off his boots and coat.

Zoro: Come on, I'll give you some dry clothes. You can wait out the rain or call your mom to pick you up if you want.

Sanji, looking around: Is this your house? I can't believe I've never been here before.

A small set of footsteps came up to them. A little girl with pink hair in ponytails hid behind Zoro's leg.

Zoro: Perona, introduce yourself to our guest.

Sanji, kneeling down to be at eye level with the little girl: Well, hello there, I'm Sanji, nice to meet you.

Perona just stuck her tongue out at him.

Zoro turned to his sister "Atta girl!" he gave her a high five and turned back to Sanji, "She doesn't like strangers." He looked back at Perona, patting her hair "is dad here?" She shook her head 'no'. "Alright, I'll be in my room and I need you to stay out of it, you hear me?" She made a sour face, huffed and stormed off.

They went to his room and Sanji was a bit surprised by how clean it was. Before he could say anything, he got a shirt and a pair of sweatpants thrown in his face.

Zoro: Here, I'll wait outside if you want.

He started walking out, but Sanji called out: Wait!

Zoro turned around.

Sanji: ...I don't hate you.

Zoro's gaze faltered. He took a small breath and hung his head a bit lower, letting out a quiet: Tell me when you're done dressing.

And so Sanji did. Now dry and waiting for the rain, they both stood awkwardly in Zoro's room.

Sanji: You never told me you lived this far from my house.

Zoro: You never asked.

Sanji: Well, I thought we were friends, that's what friends do, we tell each other things.

Zoro: Are we friends?

Sanji tried not to show how much that hurt him. He started looking at things around the room to distract himself: Oh, you got a nice setup, got any games?

He was pointing at the computer on his desk.

Zoro: Not a lot. I mostly just let Perona play those pink princess games.

Sanji, muttering under his breath: I didn't know you had a sister either...

Zoro: What was that?

Sanji: I said I expected something weirder, haha...

After a little pause, Sanji decided that he needed to say it now, or else he'd never have the courage to.

Sanji: I want us to be.

Zoro: What...?

Sanji: Friends. You asked if we were friends, I want us to be.

Zoro sneered: Why? I'm gonna kill you, remember?

Sanji: Because you're annoying. And because you chew so loud I can hear you from across the room -

Zoro: what are you-

Sanji: Because you're dumb and obnoxious and pick fights with me for no reason-

Zoro: Hey, I-

Sanji, still not listening: and because you're funny and fun to be around, and because you're hardworking and you keep me company even when I don't want it, and because I think it's so unfair that all the girls in class like you, because you're actually kind of handsome, and your skin is always clean, like how is it so clean? and you're so mean and rude and when I ask for a favor you always say no but still do it and-

Sanji finally stopped to take a breath. He realized what he was saying.

Sanji:... shit.

Zoro was looking at him in shock: I... half of that stuff was terrible.

He laughed.

Sanji started feeling his face burn up. He covered it with his hands and hunched over in hopes of making himself smaller. He felt one of Zoro's hands on his, trying to peel it away.

Zoro: Hey- wait, foes that mean that you-

Sanji: No, shut up, don't say it!

Zoro, gasping: You do! You like me too!

He tried pulling Sanji's hands away from his face again, the same time when Sanji decided to put them down and turn to him.

Sanji: Wait, you-

The suddenness of Zoro's pull and the Sanji's motion shortened their distance and Sanji's sentence was cut off by the pair of lips crashing into his.

Sanji backed away: Idiot!

then in a quieter, still angry voice, he continued: That- that was my first kiss!

Zoro saw how upset Sanji was by the thought of having his first kiss with him and his mood soured.

Zoro muttered under his nose: Well it was mine too...

A rush of panic ran through Sanji because... why was Zoro's pouting kind of cute? How could he find Zoro of all people cute???

Sanji slapped both hands on either side of Zoro's face and pulled him in for a second kiss. But he got a bit too excited and it turned out to become more of a headbutt than a kiss.

They both pulled away grabbing their foreheads.

Sanji: Ow!

Zoro: Curly! What the-

A little gasp made their heads snap. Perona was at the door, hands on her mouth in dramatic shock.

Zoro stood up: I told you not to come in, damn it!

She giggled and ran away. Zoro followed her and Sanji followed Zoro. He bumped into Zoro after his abrupt halt. He looked up and it was a man with facial hair and a wine glass in hand. Sanji assumed it was Zoro's dad.

Mihawk: Your mom's here to pick you up.

He took a sip.

Sanji was a bit surprised: Oh!... right. Okay.

He went home, and the whole time he couldn't stop thinking about what happened.

The next few weeks there was a big festival their school was preparing for and Sanji and Zoro could never get enough alone time to talk about what happened. All they did was help out their class and then the whole friend group would crash at Sanji's place to try and do more work, but they all just ended up goofing off or watching a movie.

They were in charge of making props for the drama club and different signs, for the maze, for different prizes, for the kissing booth, and other things. In reality, Usopp and Robin were the ones who drew all the signs, while Zoro and Sanji cut them out. Franky glued them, which was the easiest part in Sanji's opinion and he was extremely jealous. But then again, Nami told everyone what to do, so he couldn't possibly complain. Well... he could complain that Luffy never did anything, but that was Luffy after all.

Sanji tried talking to Zoro a couple of times but the first time, a dog that Luffy snuck into the house almost ate all their shoes and they had to chase it around all day. Then he tried again but Nami scolded them for slacking off and sat between them to make sure there was no irrelevant chit-chat. Then he tried again but Usopp accidentally glued his hands together with Franky's super glue and they had to drive him to the hospital because they all panicked and didn't know what to do.

One day Sanji decided he had enough. Upon everyone walking into the house, he grabbed Zoro and dragged him upstairs as fast as possible, hoping no one saw them (and hoping Usopp would cover for them if anyone started suspecting anything).

He pushed him into his room and shut the door behind himself.

Zoro looked a bit startled and maybe even flustered: Wha- why, uh, what are we- uh... doing?

He smiled awkwardly.

Sanji: Not whatever you're thinking of, you pervert. I wanted to talk about that... um.. you know. What happened.

Zoro: You're one to call me a pervert!

Sanji, rolling his eyes: Not the point, marimo! I wanna know... um...

He felt like a frog was stuck in his throat. Zoro took a step towards him. It didn't help. Sanji kept looking at his lips and couldn't stop thinking about the kiss.

Sanji: Did you mean to... did you really want to kiss me?

Zoro: Yes

Sanji: So what? You like me?

Zoro: Yes

Sanji, startled how honest and quick the answer was: o- oh... w- well too bad both our first two kisses were so horrible then...

Zoro taking another step closer: You know what they say, third one's the charm...

Sanji: You and your three's...

They were just about to close the distance between each other when the door opened and Sanji quickly jumped behind the door. It was Reiju, she looked at Zoro, around and then at Zoro again.

Reiju: Have you seen Sanji?

Zoro, panicking: Shitty brows? Nope, He's probably in the toilet or something...

Reiju, giving him a disbelieving look, but smiling anyway: Well, tell him Nami was looking for him when you see him. And be nice to him. He's developing a bit of a crush on you.

Zoro: Really, I had no idea.

Reiju: Yeah, boys never do.

And she left. This was the most embarrassing day of Sanji's life. He couldn't even look at Zoro after that. Sure, they held hands under the table for a bit before lunch, but he just couldn't look at him in the eyes. Zoro found it kind of funny, charming even.

The day of the festival was after a couple of days. They still had no time one-on-one, but it was a bit better.

But like all good things in Sanji's life, it never lasted long. It turned out that by popular demand, Zoro and some other guy were chosen to be the ones at the kissing booth. Sanji knew he shouldn't feel as bad as he was. He finally came to terms with the fact that he might have feelings for his classmate and maybe it was even reciprocal. But this just felt like the rug was pulled from under him. It wasn't like they were together, but when the class president announced this, he couldn't help but ask to be excused. He ran to the toilets and started balling his eyes out.

He heard the door of the bathroom swing open and he instinctively put his feet up, scared that someone would see or hear him. It was even worse when he heard Zoro's voice call for him, he almost let out a squeak. He's never heard Zoro sound so scared and worried.

Zoro: Cook? Are you here? I'll try to talk to them to replace me.

A silence that did nothing to soothe Sanji ensued.

Zoro continued, his voice was now closer: Please Sanji, come out...

The cook's heart was going to jump out at the mention of his name. Zoro rarely used his name, if ever. But the moment the thought of unlocking the door crossed his mind, someone came to fetch Zoro and practically dragged him out.

Sanji was feeling unwell. He wanted to go home.

Upon walking back to his house, Sanji threw his backpack on his chair and collapsed on the bed. He didn't even have the energy to cry anymore.

Reiju came to his room, tried to talk to him, see what was wrong but he didn't utter a single word. At some point, something must have happened because Sora called for Sanji, but Reiju told him to stay and that she'd see what their mother needed.

It was raining outside. Sanji noticed when the sound of thunder startled him. There must have been a window or a door open because it was unexpectedly loud. For a second he thought he heard Zoro's voice arguing with his sister. But there was no way that was the case. Maybe it was just the rain and exhaustion. He drifted into sleep.

On the day of the festival, Sanji was at the booth, celling tickets. They figured people would pay more money if they didn't see their spending as actual money but in the form of tickets. "Like in a casino", Nami had said. People would buy tickets from desks like the one Sanji was at and then pay with the tickets for various attractions, food, or entertainment. At one point Franky came to take his place for a bit. He told him to go have fun because he knew how much it sucked being stuck in one place while everyone else was running about. Sanji didn't feel like having "fun" but Franky insisted. So he didn't really have any choice but to listen to his upperclassman.

He started walking around, but nothing caught his eye. He had a couple of tickets that Franky gave him, "free of charge" he said, but Sanji was sure that was just another way to call "stealing".

He got caught by some of his underclassmen, who insisted he bought something from their stand. He really wanted to say no, but they had those puppy eyes that he didn't have the heart to say no. He kept walking, realizing he still has ten to twenty minutes before Franky lets him go back to his post and he had no more tickets.

He started walking around, being sure there was another ticket booth around here somewhere. But where?

Finally, he saw a booth from behind with a big line in front of it. It must be the ticket booth - they were always packed, especially near the entrances. He walked to the front, just to see that it was not a ticket booth, in fact, it was the very thing he was trying to avoid - the kissing booth. He reflexively cringed, seeing the boy Zoro was supposed to be with on shift. Still, the impulse to look at the other kissing booth next to him was too great. With great fear his eyes shifted to see an unfamiliar face.

... It wasn't Zoro.

The other person wasn't Zoro.

Where the hell was Zoro then? What was going on?

A distant "Sanji!" sounded. Sanji looked around to see who it was but didn't see anyone. Then he heard it again "Sanjiiii!" Sanji turned his head, looking up at an open window where Zoro was shouting at him. The moment their eyes met, the world stopped. Zoro put both feet on the edge of the window and got ready to jump into the tree right next to it.

Sanji: Idiot! STOP!

Zoro, ignoring everyone around him (including Sanji), who were screaming at him not to do it, jumped, broke a couple of branches, and fell on his ass with a couple of bruises. Sanji ran to him. Zoro stood up grunting in pain.

Sanji: Moron! Why would you do that?!

Zoro: You were avoiding me! I looked for you everywhere, I couldn't let you run again.

Sanji: What are you tlaking about, I've been at the ticket booth all this time.

Zoro: ... really? Wait- no, never mind that. I wanted to tell you that I really like you!

Sanji, not knowing whether to be embarrassed because he was being confessed to by his crus, or being embarrassed because he was doing it in public so loudly: what!!!???

Zoro: I have for a while now, I don't want to ever kiss anyone other than you! And I never will! Even when we get old and wrinkly like Mr Brook!

Sanji: Don't say that kind of thing so loud I-... don't tell me you said that to the class president.

Zoro: I dind't.

Sanji, sighing in relief: Ok...

Zoro: I told the whole class after you left.

Sanji: WHAT?!

Zoro: I told them to find someone else because I'll never kiss anyone other than you. I want to be yours only.

Sanji felt like crying again. He couldn't ever describe the hoops Zoro made his heart jump though. Sanji, disregarding all the eyes that were on them at that moment, hugged Zoro tightly.

Sanji: You're such an idiot... And in a small voice he added ...But you're my idiot

disclaimer: don't jump out of windows pls

#zosan #zoro x sanji #sanji x zoro #high school au #this took me way too long idk I wrote half of it and then dropped it fsr #and i had no idea where i was going with it at one point #i think it became a bit too cheesy tho ngl :((#op

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