#now just waiting till it's on the Internet lol

[adamcytryn]

Haikyuu movie came out today!! Yippee :D

[crushedsweets]

Can we get more BEN content? Please?

Something super quick!! I’m just tryna get a feel for his character again cuz I just realized how long it’s been since I’ve worked with him in my AU?! I’ll ramble a bit under the cut

Mandatory reminder that my AU is filled with rewrites largely inspired by my childhood understanding/memories of the stories … it’s not canon in the slightest

Tw for kidnapping(?sorta) and murder under the cut

Ok imma do a better finished pre/post death comparison later. But for now.

Ben in my AU went to a garage sale, found majoras mask, got really excited, and the one selling it to him was like “I have the console come over and we can beat the game together” so Ben started going to this 40 yr old guys house every week.

Once they beat the game, the guy ended up drowning Ben in his bathtub. It’s cuz he had this huge grand plan to create a true virtual reality where you can really put your soul into a video game, cuz he himself was addicted to video games and escapism and whatnot … specifically inserting himself into a Zelda game. and he had killed several young blonde boys who he thought resembled link, cuz he was doing all these different methods and rituals he read online that he believed would transport a persons soul inside. After he drowned Ben, he put the green tunic over bens zelda shirt + put boots and that damn hat on him + cut his hair to try and resemble link. He waited and waited and reopened the game and played it and tried tweaking it and did everything he could to find evidence that bens soul was in the game. EVIDENTLY THAT SHIT DIDNT WORK.

Well it sorta worked. Bens soul DID get trapped in that game cartridge. But it was more in the way a ghost possesses a doll, not transporting him into the game….

Eventually the man was caught for murder, charged, and the video game cartridge (with Bens soul) went into evidence. And it just sat there for a long while.

Eventually it broke, I haven’t exactly fleshed out how… maybe a dumb detective.. OH MY GOD MAYBE A DETECTIVE WORKING ON JEFFS CASE ??!?! LOL we’ll see

And when the cartridge broke, Bens Soul sorta got. Released ?! And obviously he was mad ..

So he just spent a while haunting people, driving people to suicide, being a massive menace on the internet and in people’s homes till slendy got involved and was like Benjamin. Do not do this.

Ok obviously this is super messy and I did it on a school bench on my phone cuz my class got cancelled today 😞 but. I’ll try to get more solid Ben content out cuz he’s just a guy

[srslyscary]

┊┊. OTHER RELATIONSHIPS !

⟿ HER BROTHER !

> CONTACT NAME ᕯ lil bro kyle (<3)

➠ her little brother is just a big ol’ sunshine, like felix but make it way different.

➠ surprisingly kabi gets along with her brother and they have a very strong bond, they’ve been like that since kyle was born.

➠ gets in trouble with his older sister than he does with his parents. kabi calls him his full name over the phone when she’s mad (kyle daniel somun).

➠ yes. his middle name is daniel.

➠ they rarely use each others korean names.

➠ the internet knows all about her brother since she’s always with him. most of her instagram posts are about her brother and their crazy adventures together when they were younger.

➠ her family all lives in seoul with her, so she often goes to see her brother at their family home.

➠ kabi is definitely planning to buy kyle a house for his graduation present.

➠ loves her brother to death, he’s always been a little goofy sweetheart. he gets most of his humor from his older sister.

⟿ HER GIRL BESTFRIEND !

> CONTACT NAME ᕯ queen connyyy

➠ best friends since she was a small girl. she currently lives in canada.

➠ conny’s actual name is constance, but when kabi was younger, she could never actually say her name so she started calling her “conny”. conny’s nickname for kabi is “junie”, hence the way she would say it as a small kid (and because of her birth name ‘journee’).

➠ they met in first grade and almost finished elementary together. kabi left canada after her 5th grade year in 2008, to finish school in korea.

➠ luckily in that year they had SOME type of communication devices, considering kabi was only 11 at the time.

➠ they lost contact for a while, but in 2017 kabi happened to take a family trip to canada and ran into conny in a store. she didn’t recognize her at first until conny spoke up while seemingly remembering her. they caught up and exchanged new numbers.

➠ conny is only 3 months younger than kabi (november 5, 1996).

➠ conny has been on only ONE of kabi’s skz vlogs during one of her visits to canada.

➠ one of her non-idol friends to support her in her career.

⟿ HER BOY BESTFRIEND !

> CONTACT NAME ᕯ diddy lol

➠ this.. is tak daesung… also known as diddy.

➠ very handsome fella.. but has never had a girlfriend.

➠ the nickname “diddy” is a little joke that runs around the both of them due to a mispronounced word.

➠ has a black cat named miso.

➠ daesung and kabi met in korea, she met him during middle school and graduated highschool with him (May 21, 2015).

➠ they still keep in touch till this day, even after kabi became an idol.

➠ she doesn’t hang out with him as much as she used to, but she tries her best. they hang out with each other on each other’s birthdays to celebrate.

➠ they were born a day apart, daesung was born the 14th of august.

➠ daesung is a content creator (youtube and twitch), and talks about kabi on his twitch livestreams the most.

➠ kabi joined daesung in a stream once, and wasn’t surprised everyone knew who she was.

➠ another one of her non-idol friends who supports her in her career. blasts skz songs like every single stream on his waiting screen.

⟿ HER CATS !

> NAMES ᕯ tazi and bada

➠ tazi is a mixture of a maine coon and a balinese cat breed (on the left), bada is a mixture of a maine coon and a siberian cat breed (on the right). tazi is a female while bada is a male.

➠ tazi was adopted on november 18, 2020 at 4 months old. she weighed just enough for a healthy cat and was taken home by kabi as soon as she saw her. she was named after kabi to somewhat match her stage name, and she thought tazi was the cutest cat ever. tazi is now 4 years old.

➠ tazi’s name actually comes from the tasmanian devil, because tazi is a very wild cat.

➠ bada was adopted on may 2, 2016 at 9 months old. bada is a very quiet cat, like the ocean (hence his name being “bada” which is ocean in korean). bada has never been a wild cat, and he enjoys the quiet moments with kabi when she’s home. bada is now 8 years old.

➠ bada was kabi’s support animal throughout the rest of her trainee years.

[brenninthetaylorverse]

I know most of you probably forgot about it but I haven't and I want to keep my promises so guess what! I'm bearing my soul to you people and today I'll finally be giving all the details of my album, melodramatic.

@dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies I'm gonna @ you in some more of my music like new songs because this is not my best work lol

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

album cover:

*the original image isn't mine, I literally got it off the internet and I never plan on releasing this, making an album cover and all of this is for fun*

tracklist:

1. the movement

2. crying in my bed at 3 am on a rainy tuesday

3. gospel

4. places i’ve seen before

5. people lie.

6. take another breath

7. long pause

8. my dreams aren’t real but my demons are

9. honey take your meds

10. is my family ashamed of me?

11. drama queen

the three songs (I had a few that has the same number so I get to choose on those lol PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE MY WRITING)

1. my dreams aren't real but my demons are

Sitting in my room on a regular day, wasting my life away. I think blue light is seeping into my brain. I don’t do anything anymore. I don’t even see my friends. And my room is dirty, I wish my Mom was here to bug me to clean it. And he said “You’ll be fine on your own.” Oh, but he was so wrong. 

My dreams aren’t real. Sitting here wishing I had some kinda physical appeal, even looking in the mirror hurts. What can you do when you're stuck in a body that doesn’t even love you? How did the brain name itself and why is the brain so mean? And why is there a man dressed in all black outside my window, but only on Thursday nights? Because my dreams aren’t real, but my demons are. Getting into college, becoming famous, that’ll never happen but I can count on my sleep paralysis demon to be there when I need him. And it’s so sad because I’ve never hated myself more than I do now and they don’t care.

I can’t help but mope around, waiting for some big circus to roll into town. Maybe then I wouldn’t be the only clown. I get up on big stages, hoping every time will be different, but instead I get booed off. I’m not proud of my past and I hope this version of me doesn’t last. They say all I do is sing about the negative but what do they want me to do? Sing about rainbows and unicorns? I never will because I sing about what I feel.

Cause man, my dreams aren’t real. I can wish all I want for a big fancy house but come on, that’ll never happen. Cleverly hidden lyrics on the back of a cereal box. Whenever I’m at the doctor's office for the 7th time this month, all I do is stare at the clocks. I take 20 medicines a day and nothing can keep my demons away.

2. is my family ashamed of me (I am not suicidal I just want to preface)

They used to call me the good kid. They said to make sure I remember them when I get famous. They wanted some of my success. They wanted me to be somebody. And I can’t imagine dying without being famous. I want people other than my hometown to know my name. I want to be someone. Make a name. Get out of this town. And yet I’d be leaving behind everything I’ve ever known, till eventually I drown. In other words, in the fight for the crown. I’d come back and leave, do it all again and still not know where I want to be. 36, a crazy woman with a broken dream. Do I want that to describe me? 

What happens when you give all the time and never get anything back? Do you run out of gifts? Of things to give? All the birthdays, all the christmases. All the lost time yet I was there. Do they hear the whispers about me? The grocery store, the gas station, in the eyes of the people who saw me grow up. I was gonna do great things but sitting here, I got one question. Is my family ashamed of me?

Would all the problems be fixed if I wasn’t born. If I never existed. Would they be happier, nicer, richer? What would it be? Give me a genie and I’ll waste my wishes and give me all the money in the world and I’ll be gone. Is my family ashamed of me? And it’s not my fault, I’ve been thinking ‘bout death. Can’t help but question this whole big thing, said no when you proposed with your dollar tree ring. I can never ask for help, I’m embarrassed when I see someone I know in public. And I hate driving slow, but I love having somewhere to go.

3. drama queen (this song has a few taylor references, whoever can point them all out gets a cookie)

I wish that you could go and unsay all those things you said that day. I wish I could undo all my actions and the reckless driving I did on the way. I know I’m partly to blame, I know that you always curse when you say my name. I think I know everything, but I’m just a dumb teenage girl trying to make her way. Do you think when I showed up to your party that was when I ruined everything? Do you think that my Mom is too pushy and she needs to stay in her lane? And why did you run away when I said those three words? All you had to do was stay. 

I know you say I’m a drama queen. I know you say I think I know everything. But I thought you cared. I thought you liked it when I did that dare. I thought you were gonna comfort me when I cried, but you left me. If I died, would you attend my wake? Would you care if I threw it all away for the sake of our relationship? What if your future was in the bend, would you leave me then? Are you waiting for the moment to strike when it hurts the worst then leave my life speeding, while I’m forced to slowly follow the hearse? 

I convinced myself that you were a brick wall and I was the sledgehammer. Breaking you down and fixing you back up but like usual, I was wrong. You are my David, I am Michelangelo. You wanted the world and I wanted you, we are not equal. I wanted you so bad that suddenly, I didn’t want you at all. What happens when you’ve been fighting for years but suddenly you lose sight of what you’re fighting for? 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so that's that. also I put most of my lyrics in paragraphs so if you don't read it all, I don't mind lol. enjoy my friends.

[celestialsun123]

Okay, tumblr is my ‘safe space’ other than my room, so I’m going to talk and anyone who wants to can listen. Aka all the stuff I’m gonna say will take up a lot of room so take a look under the ‘keep reading’ if you care enough to lol

There are a couple of JIC trigger warnings: mentions of church/religious settings (not talked about in a negative way), doctors, uhh there’s a time where I talk about someone yelling at me?

without further ado, here's my vent for the day.

I stress out so much over liking anything posted by autistic people. I’m so sorry, I have literally nothing against you, I just freak out for no reason cause once I heard someone on YouTube say ‘if you aren’t autistic your opinion is completely invalid here’ and I’ve taken it to heart 🥲

I will go to like a post but then go ‘wait… that explicitly says it’s about autistic people/autism… I can’t! I don’t count!’ (And I am so salty about stuff like that cause I’ve thought to myself ‘well what if I’m agreeing about something that they approve of?’ But it still isn’t enough to justify it to myself.) (again, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST Y'ALL)

I was considering asking my doctor if I should get evaluated for stuff but I also really don’t want to because what if they just say ‘nope, you’re normal. Why’d you even bother?’ And I KNOW I’m not neurotypical because I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and there is no WAY it’s normal to feel like your entire day has been completely and utterly ruined by someone not telling you clearly that if you didn’t go eat the leftovers of your family that you wanted, it’d be passed on to the others.

Oops, that’s not where that was meant to go, but I’m keeping it.

My original point BEING, I have a feeling I don’t JUST have GAD, I wanna get evaluated for Autism and ADHD, but the imposter syndrome (can I even use that here? I’m not autistic so does that mean it’s… rejection or something?) is too much and I’m gonna wimp out of bringing it up to the doctors. I’m fairly certain I have ADHD tho, cause everything I’ve watched I’ve basically agreed with. (And yeah, the internet isn’t good source material, but there are some good people on there.)

Also I'm so worried that I'm just copying people. Like, I didn't used to stim until AFTER I learned about autism and ADHD, so what's to say that I'm not just copy pasting? And that's not genuine and it's probably also rude.

Oh and on the topic of being too sensitive for my own good, let’s talk about how I deal with people scolding me. (Other than my parents.)

I genuine want to cry any time it happens. I had some pretty bad experiences of that kind of thing (maybe like 3-4 years ago?) and they happen to be some of the only clear memories I have of pandemic times cause everything kinda blurs together from that time. The clearest one and the one that affected (is that the right one?) me the most was when some of the neighborhood kids got in trouble for hurting each other from a tree in my sibling’s best friend’s yard. I was a witness, but I wasn’t paying a ton of attention to the situation. The sibling’s best friend’s mom asked me to tell my version of the story, so I did. I tried my best not to twist anything and to make it clear that I wasn’t sure about anything. Without me noticing (cause my back was turned) one of the kids mom’s (the one who had done the potential hurting) came up behind us and started yelling at me for ‘lying for no reason’ and ‘being rude’ and how ‘her kid would never do anything wrong, so if I wanted to go tell lies for fun she would go and tell my parents.’ Y’know, the kind of thing you tell semi-kids.

So from then on, I tend to have to choke back tears when not my parents scold me.

Another time (this week actually) was when I was scolded for acting my age at church. Now, I’m not a CHILD, so I see where the person was coming from. But I was also having fun with my friends. We were joking around, and one of the old people came up and scolded us. I thought I was fine till I got home and then realized that stimming in any way, even in my room, now felt childish and horrible and like I shouldn’t be doing it. (I’ve gotten over this, I’m back to normal. Ish.)

So yeah. I guess I take things too seriously? And it REALLY frustrates me. Like I can’t just let things go, can I? No, cause that’d be EASY.

Also, don’t you just hate it when you feel the urge to stim (hand flapping specifically in this case) but your muscles/wrist is in pain for no explicable reason?

[cyncerity]

hi everyone! little bit of an update!!

to those of you waiting for the next part in the store shifter au: it’s almost done, i swear.

the rest of this is a lengthy explanation cause y’all know me, i can’t write something short. tldr will be bolded at the bottom if you don’t wanna read all this.

i wanna explain something real quick: in my early years of middle school, i was into creepypasta, which pipelined into Marble Hornets, which pipelined into a ton of other slenderverse series. If you don’t know what that is, it’s an ARG with an emphasis on characters being stalked or hunted by Slenderman. All of them are really really good in their own way and do interesting things with not only Slendy, but adding their own new big bad’s and lore and i’d highly recommend watching one if you haven’t yet. (i may make a separate post about which you should watch based on what kind of content you most enjoy cause i really want to indoctrinate more people into this)

My favorite slenderverse at the time had a very big emphasis on early November, specifically November 11th. So i started to have a little tradition of watching those videos every November 11th even after the hyperfixation had faded just for a bit of nostalgia.

Fast forward to now- it has snowballed to the point where every year for over half a decade now, November 11th rolls around and I am thrown violently headfirst back into my slenderverse phase. I cannot control it. I’ll be like “ok this year i’ll be normal about it, after this long, surely watching one video won’t spiral me again” and it always fucking does. No other hyperfixation i’ve ever had has functioned on a calendar cycle so idk wtf this is. This is the 6th year of this. I cannot escape.

So yeah, per how it’s been since middle school, November-January my main hyperfixation will be slenderverse. It could be shorter, it could be longer, but that’s the general pattern i’ve noticed over the years. After that i’ll pretty much be back to normal.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not taking a 3 month hiatus or anything. I promise i will do my best to get the store shifter au part out before fucking 2024. But if you’ve sent me an ask recently and i’ve ignored it, i’m genuinely so sorry, but i can’t force myself to work on new stuff right now when mcyt g/t isn’t my main interest. I’ll do my best to get to it eventually when the hyperfixation comes back a bit more, i do read and process and think about every single ask i receive and it always makes my day when i get a new ask, but yeah. For the next few months i’m probably only gonna be working on and posting stuff that’s been in the works, are from asks that we’re given to me like a year ago and already have wips in progress to answer them, or art that i just haven’t given you yet.

on the other hand, if you’re reading this and you like creepypasta or slenderverse stuff, i’ve created what i think is literally my 5th fucking blog! @cynningly <-i’ve been spamming this for like 4 days cause i refuse to be normal about slenderverse stuff, but follow there if you want horror stuff and so far just a bunch of really shitty edits of internet arg sexyman villains. Also yes all of my blogs have to have “cyn” in the name somewhere, that’s how you can tell it’s me lmao

tldr:

my hyperfixations switched up again, im really into slenderverse (slenderman-centric args) at the moment and likely will be till January. This is a cycle that’s been going on for years now. made an alt for it -> @cynningly

I will still be working to post mcyt g/t stuff, but only stuff that’s a wip or has been in the works for a while. to anyone who has sent an ask recently: sorry, but i can’t take on making new stuff when my focus isn’t purely on mcyt rn. I will do my best to get to it eventually and if you’re one of the people who’s sent a story request or ask recently i truly, truly appreciate it. y’all make my day. but, yeah, that’s what’s going on with me lol

[perromago]

id die on the floor if u actually drew my sona polo AAA. but wait till u see my fursona, shes in the "my art" tag, its my first pride drawing :3 also ik ur not in mark egos but ive also been more active on my blog mythos-egos were i force people to look at my sphinx egos in case ur curious LOL /hj

I have a list of other people characters/fursonas I've been dying to draw, and yours have just been added >>:)

This has been a rather difficult year for me in an art and creative sense. I've been barely drawing, to the point that now If I try to draw more than 30 minutes my hand starts hurting?? :( and idk, I know if I sit down for a couple of days my ideas and my flow and movility would start returning but I've been pretty unmotivated u.u

Need to reconnect deep down with art, and myself, I think

When I get my internet back I'll be checking out what you've been up to with those sphinxes of yours hihihi

[mlobsters]

supernatural s12e11 regarding dean (w. meredith glynn)

feeling the futility of this but let's go anyway

like waking up in the field in 11x01 but fluffier.

SAM All right, Dean, you know, uh, you had a good run, but maybe let's pump the brakes a little bit. I mean, you're not 20 anymore. Dean just stares at Sam for a moment. DEAN Okay, one, the Rat Pack partied till the day they died. And B, I can still kick your ass.

did paul reiser do 1) b) or a) 2) on mad about you? trying to find that on the internet um, challenging. was just plain watching an episode hoping to stumble into it. i seem to recall him doing 2 with his hand though in the L shape so maybe that. or was it he did 2 with his hand and said b? lol. anyway i do that reference occasionally most likely around no one that would get it, and likely the wrong version now too! rolling my eyes at myself

SAM All right. Well, I'm gonna go scope out the body. If you wanna spend some more alone time with, uh, your waffles…all right. Have fun.

realizing i've seen a number of gifs from this episode recently. the ordering sam waffles, a snippet later where he's clearly under the whammy

DEAN Well, I guess it's true what they say. Mo' money, mo' problems. Right?

would be cute if this is actually a thing of making a bunch of 90s references because his memory is all jacked up

this reminds me a little of swap meat maybe? where i had a hard time swallowing that dean wouldn't notice how weird sam was behaving earlier.

lol what i said apparently about that in 5x12: not in any universe, especially when sam has been possessed before, do i believe that dean winchester is not going to notice sam behaving so differently. you don’t get every demon, monster and psychiatrist within a 50 mile radius calling out your codependent relationship with your brother and not notice some bumbling teenager is behind the wheel of his body.

so anyway, when you continue to brush off the behavior with, he's just really hungover/still kinda drunk - when working a case dean randomly disappears while getting food --- and apparently sam is just hanging out waiting for him to call/show up until the next morning????

but sam's gonna let him drive even though he can't remember what key to use. sure, fine, whatever

so he goes to pick up some food and picks up a girl and stays out and that's within normal enough parameters sam doesn't freak out. ok

i'm being a grump about this and i don't like it. saw this bit about the durable inner thighs (which was about the mechanical bull i gather) post recently so hey context

this memory loss is very specific. wiping out his knowledge of hunting? which is most of his life. what's he left with. being happy i guess

DEAN Mm, your hair, it's all so bouncy. ROWENA Why, thank you. DEAN Mm-hmm. ROWENA Do we have to fix him? SAM Rowena. ROWENA Samuel.

what's rowena doing with his hand behind his back? anyway i've seen this in gif form and with rowena cropped out :p

SAM We're gonna sit you down right here. And, uh, yeah, go ahead. DEAN This like live Skinemax or…

okay what's all the more amusing about that is like, what, live skinemax as in rowena (... and sam?) getting naked? also skinemax another old 90s-esque reference. the live skinemax thing isn't in the script that's linked to the wiki (but i don't know if that's the final draft etc)

SAM You know, I've seen my brother die, but watching him become… not him… This might actually be worse.

then we're taking the memory loss very seriously with sam admitting how awful it is and this rather miserable to watch sequence of dean slowly forgetting things talking in the mirror. gonna try to make you cry in the middle here for no reason but play most of it for laughs

ROWENA But me, I've done horrible things, and I told myself it was fine. It was the price of power. And power's what matters, right? ROWENA Then I met God and his sister. The two most powerful beings in the universe, wasting it on squabbling with each other. I thought, if—if they can't be happy, or at least satisfied, how can there be any hope for me?

blah blah can tell him because he won't remember - but i'm having a hard time taking that at anything resembling face value. she's very good at what she does with rowena, but she pretty much always has the faux honesty thing going on so i assume she's basically always lying.

sam going over to force these witches to translate the spell or whatever is some really dumb plot thing. witches can do shit at a distance and there's more than one of them. whyyyy. (so rowena and dean can save the day apparently)

SAM You know, I gotta be honest. I was actually, uh, a little jealous at first. DEAN Of what? The curse that nearly killed me? SAM No, just, you know… some of the things we've done, we've had this weight for… forever. And seeing it gone, uh, you looked happy. DEAN Huh. Well, look, was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn't just the crap that got lost. I mean, it was everything. It was us, it was what we do, you know? All of it. So… that's what being happy looks like? I think I'll pass.

definitely don't want to lose "us"

100% don't understand this montage of clips intercut with the mechanical bull riding. sort of conceptually yes i've seen things like that done in shows but i don't get them choosing to do it here. maybe the only excuse they could come up with to have jackles on the bull for an extended period of time

[thatoneitaliangirl]

The Hat Man

(Just as an FYI, I change from past tense to present tense a couple of times. This isn’t a serious written work or anything, just a recollection of a dream so I don’t really care if it’s written that well, but I figured I’d give you a warning anyway cause I know stuff like that bothers me when reading lol.)

Long time no see! Sorry to my all of 2 followers that actually interact lol. But for serious, I am sorry for being gone for so long and not finishing things and leaving requests hanging. Its a bad habit of mine- I also got a boyfriend. We’ve been together for over a year now, and when we got together I kinda gave up fanfiction all together. I didn’t want to per say, it’s almost like I didn’t need it anymore. My Love took away my loneliness!~ But I still miss fanfiction lol. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore. 

I’ve recently started on Anti-depressants and ADHD medication and I’m starting to get back into the things that I used to love. I’ve been wanting to write again for some time, but just wasn’t sure what to and if I’m even capable of coming up with a unique thought right now lol. So, instead of coming up with something unique, I figured I’d tell you guys about the weird ass dream I had a while back. I’ve been thinking about it constantly and just had to tell the internet because spooks. 

I’m not exactly sure when I had the dream. It was a hot minute ago, like maybe 2 months or so? Before I go full into it, I would just like to state that, at the time, I had never heard of the Hat Man before. Which, now that I know, I’m surprised I hadn’t cause its right up my ally lol. But I hadn’t which makes this so much worse. 

My dream starts with me as a kid, maybe around 5 or 6. I’m wearing a long sleeve dress and I’m playing with other kids outside in the woods. It was Fall, the leaves where brown and falling off the trees and there was a nice breeze. I grew up in Florida in an area where there were no large forest like areas. The only thing I could think of this coming from would be an area by the neighborhood gazebo that had a bunch of trees we used to climb, but no matter where you were in it, you could see houses, it wasn’t very large. Anyway, I was playing with other kids my age and somehow I got separated from them, but I wasn’t scared or lost, I was just alone. I come across this large tree that looks a bit different than the others in that it looks older and maybe darker. At the base of the tree is a small wooden box, about the size of a jewelry or music box. It was made of a light colored wood and had very minimal carvings on the side. I remember opening it and then time rushing forward in the dream of stuff happening around the house and me blaming the Hat Man and nobody believing me. They would think I was lying to get out of trouble but eventually it got so bad that they sent me to a mental hospital. The Hat Man in my dream looked very similar to the descriptions of him on the internet. He was very tall and was wearing like a ‘50′s style suite and hat with a long coat and he had a red tie and no face. 

Time skips again but to the present. I’m my current age, 21, and I’m sitting in my room at the mental hospital talking to my therapist. She’s not anyone I recognize in real life, but she was really pretty I remember. She had long brown hair and was maybe in her early 30′s and spoke in a very kind and happy voice. She was discussing with me about how well I had been doing the past year and that the papers for my release had been signed, I just had to wait till morning. She was saying how she was so proud of me and how she was gonna miss me but she knew it was for the better. 

I’m not sure how any of you feel about the paranormal or spiritual stuff, but my family and I believe in it. I have this one family member who is very in tune with that kind of stuff and for some reason, she was in my dream. This is probably one of the reasons this dream freaked me out so much, because I literally never dream about her. I honestly can’t even remember ever dreaming about her, and so I felt like there was a reason she was there. What’s weird though is that I never actually saw her in any form, I just knew that it was her. In the dream, she was in the same hospital as me, just down the hall in another room. 

Later that night, I head to her room to tell her the good news, but I find her dead and run back to my room. I know that it was the Hat Man, and I begin freaking out that he was coming for me next. It was like he didn’t know where I was, but now that he did, he wanted to give me a warning. 

In the morning, the therapist comes in to get me but sees me sitting on my bed, rocking back and forth. I didn’t sleep the whole night and I just kept mumbling to myself that the Hat Man was coming for me. She was confused because I had been perfectly fine the night before and hadn’t had an episode like this in a year. Suddenly, there was commotion out in the hall, and she runs to the door and sees a bunch of nurses and doctors running into my family members room. She grabs the first nurse she sees and asks them what’s going on, and she just shakes her head. The doctors begin to pull my family member out of her room on a stretcher, but we can’t see her cause she wrapped in a pink blanket and only her arm is sticking out. An older nurse sees me standing nervously and shaking behind my therapist in my bedroom entryway and glares at me. She suspects me because I knew who was killed and later on they see me on the security cameras walk down the hall to her room, enter, and immediately run back to my room. Because of this, I’m put under lockdown. I’m not allowed to leave the room and they have someone watching me constantly. The therapist is in complete disbelief and is conflicted. On one hand, she’s known me for years and knows I would never do that, but on the other hand, she saw I was having an episode and there was a lot of evidence suggesting I was the murderer. 

For some reason, I’m not sure why, she decides to look into the Hat Man. Why she didn’t do this any other time while she was treating me is beyond me, but dream logic. 

She goes to this really large and old library and spends hours looking through books and records and news articles that talk about the Hat Man. Late at night, she’s sitting in the library alone. Just a single lamp on the table and the moon shining through large windows behind her are the only light sources. She sees something in an article or a book that shocks her enough to believe that this entity could actually exist and she calls me to ask me what I know. I tell her that he can only come for you at night and if your alone in complete darkness. Just as I’m telling her this, you see him walk past the window behind her and she runs out of the library. She spends the rest of the night in bars, diners, and other 24 hour spaces until dawn breaks and she rushes back to the hospital to see me. 

Somehow we figure out that my family member may have known something and was trying to protect me from the Hat Man, so she “breaks” me out of my room and we head down the hall to the murder scene to look for clues. We find a teddy bear that had a button to record but it’s missing the batteries. We quickly find some, put them in, and a message from my family member starts to play. All it says is for me to tell my aunt about the Hat Man and then I woke up. 

As you can see, this dream freaked me the fuck out. Not only because of how insanely detailed it was, but because of the family member dying, the message, and just the over all fact that I always felt creeped out at our old house and so this just confirmed in my head for that time that spooky stuff was happening. In reality it was all in my head OR SO I THOUGHT  but back to that later. Now that I’m typing this out, I realize that I had this dream at our old house so definitely not 2 months ago lol. We moved like 4 or 5 months ago- my sense of time is so freaking bad-

Anyway, I told all my family about the dream and they all agreed it was really creepy but that was kind of the end of it until I told my boyfriends friend. We were having a little game night and I don’t remember how the topic came up, but I ended up telling her about my dream and she was like, “Ah yes, the Hat Man. He comes to get you for not taking your ADHD medication.” And I was like WHAT???? She was shook I didn’t know about the Hat Man, and I was shook BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING REAL????? Or, not real, but that the concept was an actual thing and I didn’t just make it up in a weirdly vivid nightmare. 

She explained a bit about him to me and I looked him up on the internet. What’s funny is that, while I have ADHD and have been diagnosed with it since the 2nd grade, I’ve never taken medication for it before until literally 2 days ago. So I just kinda thought that was funny. I’m sure somewhere in the past I stumbled upon a meme or a joke about the Hat Man and my subconscious just kinda filled him in there but I still have no recollection of ever hearing about him before. And while I’ve thought about this dream on and off for the past few months, I only really started thinking about it again because my family recently told me that there was something in our old house, more that what I had originally knew. Like I said, I always got a weird feeling in that house, kinda like I wasn’t alone even if I was the only one in the house. My cousin had told me there was a spirit of a little boy but that he was harmless. Still, I felt off about it but I just kinda chalked it up to me being creeped out over everything, even if he was harmless- not sure if I ever mentioned it on here before, but one day I was in my room, home alone, and I got out of bed cause I had to use the bathroom and I was watching a tik tok and as I looked up from my phone to grab my door handle, the knob was turning on its own and I decided that, maybe, I didn’t actually have to use the bathroom and went back to bed. My aunt told me it could have been one of the cats, but I didn't really believe that. And now, the other day, I’m told that there was something bad in the house that the family member that died in my dream found and it freaked her out. And guess what fellas???? The reason they never told me about it was because IT WAS IN MY FUCKING BEDROOM so moral of the story is, trust your gut, dreams can’t hurt you, and the Hat Man is real. 

[hawkeyedflame]

"anyway, go ahead and post your screenshots, like i give a fuck. i never said anything in that server that i don't stand by still, and i certainly never harassed anyone. while you're doing that, maybe go outside and touch some grass. like, seriously. live your life outside in the real world like a normal person and you might realize that nobody gives a flying fuck about your internet temper tantrums."

This is just Peak ironic and hypocrisy of you and your friends given what they were doing in there but I'm sorry that you just want to sweep everything underneath the rug and act like you're forgiven or have Redemption now when you haven't done anything to become a better person lol lmfao even.

It's super duper funny to watching you try to take the high road here 😂 but just know people know the real you twerp

2) Rules for the not we must be very strong motto with you too 😂 But again it's so crazy how you just lied and then immediately resended that lie and tried to wiggle your way out, you want to talk about being racist or sexist or homophobic but wait till the screenshots come out and I'll tag everything appropriately there for you and see how your friend still feel about you but deep down you haven't changed and wont change just like your creepy pals that were in there with you haven't stopped or changed as well but I'm going to guess that you just conveniently avoided all that somehow huh 3) You were so upset over hominis and his wife both racist sexist garbage people 🤡 enjoy your side show clowns ya freakshow 😂 Karma will see to you, don't worry ugly. 4) Awe you're upset of cisnowflake too another horrible sexist racist loser? For all your projecting and positioning you try to do on your page you're still just the same person you have been 2 years ago and even further back because no matter where you go or what you do you are still you Paige and your true colors will bleed back through and you can't change the hate in your heart anymore than you can change how retarded, ironic and hypocritical you are 😂 Cuz again I don't see you renouncing your friends Behavior or what they did or your part in it you're just mad because I'm here calling you out about it while you're trying to save face. I mean again if you truly moved on and are turning this new page relief you could have just apologized or said you know what that situation was horrible but no you double down back to like you always do and will again. Garbage person, simple ass 🤷‍♂️ 5)Again it's just funny you go from you weren't in any kind of Discord doing harassment or talking shit about people you dont even know and then you admit that you were in there and you stand by everything that you said but then say you've changed and its others problems what you did and caused. Yup that's the way to have integrity and maturity and to get to the next level of being a better person for sure just sleeping everything underneath the rug and flipping everybody off in the process. I hope your life is as "pleasant" as you have been.

I go to bed and then go to work and come back to this word vomit... You might actually be more deranged than the chick from the FMA fandom who was tweaking out about me supposedly being a transphobe. I'm legitimately impressed by your dedication. Honest.

So anyway, this is really funny, I guess since you're on anon like a spineless worm, you're giving me the liberty of having the last word, because I certainly won't be answering any more asks from your crazy ass after this lol

I am friends with very few people in that server. The people who are/were in there at the time that I was also using the server were acquaintances at most, with the vast majority being strangers I'd never met. I never once participated in harassing or being hateful towards anyone while I was using that server. As I said, post your screenshots if it will make you feel big and cool. I do not give a fuck. It's not like I'm going to waste my time looking at whatever "evidence" you think you have on me.

I didn't lie. I said I don't use servers, which is true. I did not say that I've never used servers. 2+ years of not participating in any servers constitutes saying that I do not use servers. You're grasping at straws, it's pretty sad.

When was I ever upset about Hom and his wife? They can take care of themselves. This doesn't even make any sense.

This is actually just really funny. You're here on anon trying to tell me you know me well enough to know whether I've changed as a person. I have, believe me. Just not in my political opinions. I don't need to renounce anything or apologize for anything, because I am not any of the things you are accusing me of being, nor are any of the people you have brought up by name in this weird little mental breakdown you're having in my inbox.

Again, didn't lie. Didn't talk shit about anyone I don't know except for a couple of creepy-ass tumblr losers that were outright stalking a couple of my acquaintances. Perhaps you're assmad because you're one of those stalkers? Much to think about. My life is extraordinarily pleasant, yes, and getting better every single day. Thank you for the well wishes. Happy new year :)

[tscritical]

When DWIT thoughts came out. I was graduating my sophomore year of high school. I am now a sophomore in COLLEGE. I remember talking to my therapist in detail about the redux episode over online therapy in July of thr first wave of the pandemic. And since then, what have we really got? I feel bad bitching about this because the one friend I tried to talk about it was like 'content creators don't owe people anything'. Except. They kinda do if people are literally paying them via patreon? And it's the main thing you're known for? And you give us nothing in between?

Idk, part of me just wants closure. That's why I fucking hate what's happening to the dsmp right now. I left Sanders Sides for the DreamSMP and honestly, I don't regret it. But Dream and Thomas have something in common. Taking an amazing, unique series. And never giving the fans proper closure. Granted Dream is worse than Thomas because he's an actual groomer, but the situation with the finale and dsmp season 2, which I won't be watching, felt all too familiar.

If Thomas wants to stop doing Sanders Sides, or even can't, he should TELL US. He should tell us no more content us coming. That he's sorry, but without Joan(I hope I spelled their name right) he can't continue. Apologize, but step away. At least we'd have an answer!

I'm sorry for rambling in your ask box. You just seem to be the only person actually talking about this. I've unfollowed most Sanders Sides account, deleted all the fanart off my phone, stopped roleplaying. But I met my best friend, my WIFE through Sanders Sides on tumblr! I named myself after a character! I sent that ask (the one about being named Patton) when I was half asleep and a little delusional after studying all night.

I wish I had waited till I was into MCYT to name myself. I fucking realized I was trabs because of Thomas. If I had the Dsmp, or Hermitcraft, I'm pretty sure my name would be Wilbur, or Ren. But I chose Patton. And the guy who helped me chose my name, is kind of a dick.

literally i don’t understand how people can say “thomas doesn’t owe us anything” as if there aren’t people literally putting money directly in his pockets via patreon so that we can have content. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

idk anything about dsmp other than what ive gleaned from mutuals’ posts, but i believe u lol (im more of a hermits kinda guy, particularly smajor, goodtimeswithscar, and LDShadowLady) (really hope nothing comes out about those three or i might quit the internet /hj)

and yeah thomas needs to be upfront about the behind the scenes shit (which is why im glad he posted that video recently!!! even if i feel like the details are still… somewhat vague… but he’s trying i guess?)

im sorry everything’s turned sour for you patton </3 i get it, believe me i get it

let’s just hope that things improve at least somewhat 🤞🏻

[mirukimary-artarchive]

HUEVEMBER 2020 - Days 1 till 10

(Please click for full view!)

1. Daughter of Evil

Posting this one was so scary back then! After failling god knows how many inktobers, huevember of all things seemed impossible. I'm really grateful to my boyfriend for his endless support through the month. Got really close to giving up a couple of times, but managed to power through thanks to him!

As for this piece... Daughter of Evil was my first vocaloid song. It was introduced to me by my childhood friend back in.... high school? Earlier? A long time ago, lol! I'm still grateful for it, vocaloid remains one of my favorite things in the world.

2. Meltdown

Still proud of this one. Meltdown is a song that feels really close to me. So i do hope i made it some justice, as a thank you for all of the comfort.

3. Kokoro

A bouquet of Marigold (grief), Agrimony (gratitude) and Campanula (also gratitude) for all of the people who i've met, but can't see anymore. Thank you for sharing your existence with me. ...This song never fails to make me cry.

4. Synchronicity

Bless this song for introducing me to HitoshizukuxYama (and Suzunosuke), they're still my favorite producers. Waiting for the last part was such a huge part of my childhood, lol! I love rewatching those now, the improvement from part 1 to part 3 is amazing.

5. Snowman

I can't... For the life of me decide which version i like more, Kaito's or Len's. So i just drew both! Now featuring Kaito as a melting snowman and Len as a child going through way too much! ...(;_; ) This one kinda looks like a christmas card now that i think about it...

6. Odds and Ends

Another song that makes me cry every single time. I can't help but feel for bigger internet presences whose crime is.... Being popular? Thick skin or not, hate is bound to get to you eventually. Ofc the song is about more than that, but still.

7. Tengaku

This one was really fun to color~♥ Also listening to the title song on repeat for most of it was very energizing, lol!

8. Hello Planet

How can something so sad sound so happy??? The dissonance just breaks my heart further! One of my favorite songs ever.

9. Witness

Breakup songs are usually really... Angry, passionate, hateful. So i've always loved this one for being the exact opposite.

10. Melt

Looking back, i did this picture a disservice for adding such a simplified background. The decisions we make when we're running out of time! Still tried to add some cute elements to hopefully show how much this song warms my heart!

[aspiring-artist-em]

HEEELLLLPPP i just read your latest upload the till death wip and it was sooo twisted so good so heartbreaking like it’s literally haunting me right now im incoherent ??? on my knees rn your MIND

I can not WAIT to see where you take this ive never read anything quite like it 🧎🏻🧎🏻🧎🏻 just wowowowow

much much love 💗

thank you thank you, it's def twisted and def painful. I feel so bad for Sirius in it and it doesn't get any better. im so sorry that I made u incoherent, that wasn't very nice of me and so ill give u a cookie over the internet lol 🍪

all the chapters are gonna be heartbreaking, idk how to end it tbh so im gonna go to a coffee shop and figure it out lmao

much love to u too and thank u for reading!

[lonespektr]

OCTOBER 14TH (day late) HORROR WATCH

Something in the dirt (2022)

This is Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead if you haven't heard of these guys strap the frack in.

I have never fully understood any one of their films without at least a second watch

... maybe synchronic

Already on tilt

OCD?

Looks like a morel mushroom but with spikes??

Do not expect an explanation

Ok well guy apparent derelict no furniture sleeping on floor daylight

Helicopter

No subs are

Oh they are okay

The two have been lead actors in their films more than once

Neighbor meet and greet

Divorcee tells him that the apt had been vacant for a decade

Told a big bloody fib about a death

Doesn't explain the vacancy like that's even creepier man

Said something else weird and drove off on a scoot scoot

It was a squirrel omg

Shot of the electricity meters

And a bunch of other things in quick sucession power lines etc then chimes

Ok interview suddenly

Meta about their films lolz

Somebody died

Guy friendship makes me seeth with envy and wrench my clothing

They are best friends now,?!!! U movin furniture??

How??? U just met??? That could be a serial killer an asshole! That's a literal stranger

I hate men

They are chatting like they have known each other for years (they do)

Fish story

They both at each time appeared wary of the other at least

sharing wifi??

That is a STRANG-ER

Behold the promise LAN

First uh tension

Kinda told him after he helped gotta kick u out

Except rolled right into compassion AA convo

Lol 😂 till he said ok cool

Lol housewarming plant dude why would u think he brought a rando plant to a new place obviously

His grandma runs a nursery

Already talking weird, cult vibes

The prism crystal piece he found on the ground just started floating and prisiming

Divorcee saw it and honestly told the new move in guy who was already trying to kick him out but graciously instead of doing the whole wait until it happens later bs as divorcee is leaving it happens again

And unlike the white men they are the bolt out of the apartment

They are literal shots of the text of what is being said randomly interspersed cut into the dialogue

Fights keep passing over head

Three birds just hit the divorcee guys door , dead

They agree that they have to document legitimate supernatural stuff and get rich/ successful

Youth shelter person comes to pick him up

Dude pretty sure that's his PO and he's court mandated

Back to interviews

New guy had stashed the birds in a cardboard box just to make sure they weren't just knocked out

One bird was gone when he went back to check

Lord of heat coming from the closet

Anti title drop??? Cute

This is very meta

Debate about titles they are both rejection sensative like prickly about critiques

He said i guess it waits for you (new guy) but the first time we saw it it was only the divorcee

This is very nope at this juncture

They are tooling up, my Internet is very slow

The chimes are Russian nesting Dolls

Address the obvious P.O.

He said he's on the sex offender registry for peeing in public

The thing is actually moving ( i should clarify it looks like the og big ass crystal ash trashs

Although it's obvious cut in half orb and prismy

They have digital and film cameras

They may have a shot

The geometry of magnetism - rando book that divorcee knows

Lol why was it written in esperanto i mean obvs why but 😂😂

Oh the weird shape that prsim makes is on the cover

Lol divorcee just asked do i sound unhinged and new guys like oh no nono psychologic breaks are totally different 😂😂😂

Lol he just yelled at the paper weight if you are a ghost do something

Now they are like??? Not a ghost

Coulda told you that boys it's very scientific

It's scientific because this is your film and you always do science shit 😂😂

The guy says he has seeing the symbol all over town now

Most of the shots were of old buildings that symbol would have been there for years

Lol new guy said u goin dan brown on me

He's like no man it's just a math thing like the fibbinocci sequence

When a rectangle expressed as a ratio

(how the fuck does one do that #dyscalculia)

It is that irrational number

Lol he said this better not be about Stonehenge 😂😂

This dude is smoking inside like a fucking 1950's film JEEBUS

the whole time there's s discordant plunk in the sound track

(They do this)

This is the third time he has crossed the threshold out of the room and it drops the new guy im googling their names cause im getting irritated

John and levi

The city scape looms large

Planes sirens

They are both a hot mess

Door knob to hot closet that never shits is shaking

Pause for the cause

(the cause being my bedtime)

Gonna switch to something with a better signal and finish that first

OMG wtf the light refractor is floating why was it in the closet?

Omg plot point i couldn't hear

Gravity?

Soil samples (documentary)

High chromium

Earthquake

Wait is the inside of the closet glowing

Now the light is communicating with them

Quartz deposit

More meta

Why did you play youselves reenactment

I love that's is just a series of conspiracy theories

I read this ted talk, i saw this reddit post

Cyotes again

Ace

Pulling random unexplainable things weaving them together

Snake skin

Just random things

Found an old ass recorder like old ass

With sacred number tape on it

Pythagoras

The rose croutons?

Dream logic

Numerology crystals

City planner 1908

Like full ideas of reference

Literally just picked up a rock at 1908 coordinates that had a strip of paper with w website in it

The guy with hx of mental illness ace is uh keeps trying to back out - John new guy

Crystal resonates with sound

There's the symphony conspiracy theory

The crystal almost fell on his head when he was asleep but did why do you sleep in that room with it

Let alone the apartment at all

Levi

Not they are full on literally every single idea of reference

Now they are talking about simulations after seeing a glitch in the stop crosswalk

Mind control cat parasites - which i just heard about

This month

The phenomenon is dried up

John wants to leave as planned

The levi guy made up a bunch of shit and broke in somewhere told john some kies starting to fabric stuff

Lol this tablet was used to design the city

Now my plant is alien in nature ,(from my own grandmas nursery)

Eat the cactus fruit

Inside the cactus fruit is morse code!!!!!!

Here they are

Lol he's been lying from the jump even about the book

Coordinates

Old ass radio on a loop

Redacted script

Very convenient

John tried to do another idea of reference but lim? Levi shut him down

About his spearfishing

Radiation?

Old ass raio

Levi in an effort to fabricate more stuff erased the original stuff

Melted the hard drive

Just when john wanted to go again

The phenomenon started back up

And the guy keeps digging into his criminal history

Even then he wants him to stay

They are fully fighting and dragging each other

Oo literally dragged his sister into it then when he broke he smiled

Like a sicko

It's a full scale read fest very intense

WHILE THE MOST PHENOMENON THAT HAD EVER HAPPENED IS HAPPENING

and they are ignoring it fighting each other

There's an earthquake and not they are drawing a truce

Levi is floating the crystal went high and cracked

John ? Was floating too?

But off the balcony???

Fin

[mellow-island7]

Twitter Drafts

was writing down my twitter drafts in a word document cause i'm gonna deactivate my twitter again cause i'm getting overwhelmed again by everything and thought i'd share some of these on tumblr lol

These drafts start from now (8/23/23) and go all the way back to i think like a year ago or something like that, some of the drafts are unfinished but yea anyways heres some of them

(pt 1)

(ps my bad i probably sound like an asshole in some of these, i was really sad and have been stuck in a perpetual shit cycle for the past 3 years)(but also i have to learn to stop apologizing for things that i don't need to be sorry for)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stuck in a body that isn’t mine,

Everything is a waste of time

Dumb yuppie mfkrs talking about being “broke” with a car, a house, gear that works and a house that has food everyday :|

Lol :|

We need a show in south florida for the Daniel Johnston fans all 5 to 6 of us

Mfkrs will literally kick you down and be like dude get up already, stop being lazy

Its funny hearing people talking about getting older and gaining weight and running out of breath and I’m like “dude literally all you do is smoke weed and watch shit on Netflix, what the fuck would you expect”

Lol you really not grown till you get sued for the first time

Mad respect and appreciation for anyone that takes the time to try and and understand themselves emotionally

In my head thinking about how it totally not cute to be this sad at my age

In my head counting all the people that hate me

I’m grateful for the people that I’ve been friends with since middle school

The online therapists are exploiting mental illness, places like b*tter help want you to think you are weak and they want you to think you can’t do it yourself so that you can pay them a good amount of money to talk you into fixing your own problems

Yea I’m probably gonna hold off on doing shit seriously till I have money again

I know where I am, I know where I’m going and I know how I’m gonna get there

You should be scared you fucking limp dick weasel, I hope you get everything that you have coming for you

Wtf you could bs nose slide? :o

I just wanna skate and make music with my friends, its not that complicated

This mini ramp is slowly but surely making my brain so much stronger

Don’t understand plus don’t care plus don’t wanna understand plus I gotta st

Do things for genuine reasons

I need to stop apologizing for things I don’t need to be sorry about

(added this in rn, wasn’t originally in our twitter drafts ^^^)

Nick is like the mike Sinclair to my billy marks

One day when I’m older and more stable with money and more in a place of comfort, I look forward to being able to smoke weed while playing playstation 2 games

Lifes moving in such a weird direction and I’m really happy and excited but also a lil sad also goddamn some of the things happening  are so bizarre

Educate the yuppie jits, they don’t know any better

You are exactly like all the people you complain about and if you weren’t busy having your head so far up your own ass maybe you could see that

I love being an internet music nerd, all I wanna do is be on my computer and listen to music and make shit

I’m trying very hard to stay optimistic and keep working hard towards things that I think actually matter and if you are in any way trying to impede on that optimism (no matter how false you think it may be) then FUCK YOUUUUU just SHUT THE FUCK UP

Growing up means literally faking being happy every day

I can’t wait to turn 30

I need a job so fucking bad and I desperately need to leave this house

Steel reserve suicide? 👀

Fuck it lol I think imma finish as much as I can of the ruffans stuff and put it out as a demos album LOL (at this point that makes more sense than having this be an actual album)

Definitely gotta keep our friends humble cause :| some mfkrs are getting so prideful and arrogant :|

I think we need to start roasting our friends a bit more, so many specific people are getting way too prideful and arrogant, like there’s nothing in with feeling a sense of pride in your self but definitely gotta humble people when they’re getting out of pocket

Being in a car with people that drive like shit :| is so fucking annoying :| and then they wanna act like you’re annoying as fuck for being scared :| fried ass mfkrs :|

Too many people down bad rn, get it together

:| talking about these things with the people you love is :| so :| fucking :| hard :| life is moving and changing in so many directions in so many ways :| and

You will only come to realize this when it is way too late and you’ve done an insane amount of irreparable damage and then you will regret so much as we all come to do

Life at 17: I need to kill myself Σ('◉⌓◉’)

Life at 24: yea fuck this dude I’m out :|

Lol its funny to me that theres people that only like me because I’m so sad and that feels soo fucked up for some reason

I don’t care if it’s good enough because it is genuinely the best can do

(rn)

Phone password is **** and my computer password is ******, theres a lot of live video and audio recordings of peoples bands and maybe some photos and logos and art and other random bullshit, if anyone cares to go and try and find that, go for it

I tried, sorry, thanks

(anecdote: lol fucking dumb edgy imbecile thinking anyone would give a fuck to try and find any of that garbage

Thanks

Its fireeee :,| <3

Goddammit ramon just do it already, watching you get up and keep trying is humiliating it feels like watching a one legged dog keep tripping over himself tryna cross the street, its so fucking sadd

No I’m not doing okay why the fuck would you askme some stupid dumbass question like that, tryna be on some hold your head up king bullshit, like I’m glad that you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re happy, that’s awesome for you I love that for you genuinely but what the fuck I am obviously not happy why the fuck would you ask me that like what the fuck am I actually supposed to say to that

I am not too fond of punk music or shoegaze music or metal music(as genres), theres specific bands and individuals that I like but in general sense most of those genres are so fucking boring

I feel like I haven’t had a real conversation with another human being in so long, I feel so detached from reality like as if I’m not real and I’m watching myself continue on autopilot from outside my body

I’m the kind of stupid where I’ll have no money, get $5 and decide to share it with someone so we could eat together

:3

Sitting thinking about how many days will have to pass before have to sell my fuzzwar and amp and other belongings that mean a lot to me?

(something is wrong/broken)

One brain cell dimwit human being who is not doing anything to fix it or help in any way: “why are you not fixing this? What is wrong with you you useless irresponsible asshole?”

:|

I wish I had what you had

(plural)

I’m getting real close to selling my fuzzwar, at this point in life I have no one I’m close enough that would know what that would mean to me or even care but maya gave me that for my 19th brirthday, it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me ever

Jesus christ the way that asia argento looks at rip torn in marie Antoinette and just thinking about times in life when someone looked at you like that while touching your face

[cwfei]

> First of all, you said anime characters aren't real and are just 2d. Pen and ink, right?

And when has this been a problem till now? I don’t know anyone who would bring their anime fetishes to real life. And yes, they are not real so who cares? Finding Yuji attractive is the same liking racist mass murderer Geto. They are fantasies and you’re crying over it. Oh wait this the first time on the internet? Lol

> Well, let me tell you what lil bro, loli art is also just "pen and ink" or "2d", it doesnt affect you, right? But you're really quick to send the artist death threats, arent you? (im not defending lolicons they can go jump off a cliff with these pedos aswell)

What the fuck are you even saying? No one sending death threats to artists. You’re an angry child throwing a hissy fit over people liking fictional characters that can be aged up and down in fanfiction. They’re not real so who cares. I’ve never seen anyone complain about this on AO3 or wattpad which is filled with x reader/OC paired with high school anime characters. People make Gojo and Suguru high school AUs as someone else stated and are insanely popular. You’re like the 1% of the people calling these authors pedos and weirdos which I can judge the characters you like and apply real life logic like what you’re doing.

> Second of all, you spoke about japanese culture (not even being japanese yourself, even disrespecting it because sexualisation of minors is anything but culture) and even had the audacity to say they dont look like minors.

Japanese people love cute things and anime characters are meant to be cute. It’s been normalized in their culture. I have no idea half the mumble jumbo cringe shit you’re even saying. People been thirsting over Yuji/Megumi in Japan LOL. I’ve seen the crazy shit they even said about 16 year old twins Mimiko and Nanako talking about their underwear smell. Japanese are far worse with their anime fetishes but I highly doubt they take them to real life and pursue REAL MINORS. Sexualizing a minor would be a REAL MINOR. PROTECT REAL THINGS. NOT FICTION LMAO. These fictional characters you’re protecting aren’t real, and have no rights. If it was illegal and not normalized people wouldn’t be writing fanfics on them on multiple writing platforms.

> Yeah, they dont, but they canonically have ages + I've seen tons of younger people look way older than they are. You're basically saying "oh its fine to date a 13 year old if they look 18!", and trust me, I've seen a TON.

The whole point is that ANIME FICTIONAL characters don’t even look like real people or humans. Stop applying real life to fiction. People can like the art all they want. They don’t even look or act like children. You ever wonder why there’s millions of zero two NSFW art? Also Marin Kitagawa who are both 15-16? Ya cuz they don’t even look like actual children. People liking art? What a fucking crime. Show me the laws that says you can’t simp fictional characters. Please fucking do. Real life and fiction are totally fucking different concepts and shouldn’t be treated the same. You think people are going to pursue mass murderers and want to bang them too irl by this logic? No.

> Third of all, yet again on the japanese culture and mangakas. You said that a lot of mangakas sexualise their own minor characters because its a part of their culture (which isnt, please do research before speaking absolute bullshit about a culture you dont even care to learn about) and that we should "let the japanese cook", basically implying we should let them sexualise these minors more so that you can have your gross perverted fantasies about them.

It literally is normalized in Japan culture. You new to anime or some shit? Look at bleach women, they all look like sexy bimbos but are strong. The author Kubo sexualized his girls. Look at invis chick who’s like 16 in MHA that is NAKED bruh? Also Himiko was naked in front of Twice who is like twice her age LMAO. There’s a lot of manga that sexualize fictional characters that aren’t adults. You haven’t seen much or even know anime culture at all to say the dumbest shit here. Mangakas don’t sexualize real minors but fictional ones? Of course many mangakas do. You should do your own research LOL you’re so stupid.

> Fifth of all, you said it's normal to others, basically proving how fucked up mentally some people are to even think that, how fucking deranged humanity became as a whole because if thats normal to you I suggest booking a permanent visit to an asylum.

Oh yes call millions of upon millions of authors pedos and should be locked up which isn’t even a law to fantasies or like fictional characters. It’s not even a fucking CRIME. They aren’t even real, go ask a psychiatrist if fictional minors have the same rights as real minors. THEY DO NOT. You won’t even get admitted to the psych ward for liking 2D drawings. Fucking hell you’re stupid.

> Sixth of all, you said "You're writing smut about sukuna in a minors body though!" which yeah, okay, I'll give that one to you, but I genuinely dont give a fuck because I'm a minor and I can read whatever the fuck I want without feeling guilty unlike you pedophile, you're basically foaming at the mouth you're unable to read those fics because you'll be considered a pedo (which you are)

“I’m a minor so idgaf” nah you’re fucking weird if you’re underaged finding characters above 18+ hot too. Same dumb logic. You’re just making them pedos because you a MINOR wants to fuck them. Nah you can’t be for real.

> Seventh of all, how the fuck is Sukuna a rapist? You said "arguably", then argue with me bitch if you felt like this post was directed towards you (which it was 🤣)

Really? The first lines he said was “where are the people?! The women?!” Heavily hinted the most evil hedonistic war criminal in the series probably is a rapist. Also, would it even be surprising how evil he is would’ve raped women back in his own era before killing and eating them? Get over it. He’s hot but seriously dumb as hell for a minor like you to find him attractive.

> Eight of all, you said "relax, it's just fantasies we have, they're not real." SO YOU AGREE TO HAVING FANTASIES ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A MINOR !!

Not the same as real humans. Totally different. Dumbest tales I’ve read all day. Thank you for giving me a laugh with how dumb you are. Liking 2D drawings isn’t the same as liking a real minor. People insert their own OCs the same age as them as well in their own fanfics.

> i dont care if you come for me, i bet you'd want to make out with me or fuck me because im in your prefered age target, faggot:3

Nah you’re fucking gross. Doubt even the older characters in JJk you fantasies about would want to either because you’re a minor. See? Stupid ass logic. Oh yes liking a real minor vs a fictional character is the same. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Stop comparing real life and fiction as if they are the same thing. They are not and you’re like too young to understand that? You’re cringe as fuck.

> in conclusion: your argument is absolute dogshit

I could say the same with your dog shit argument that is not separating real life and fiction. They are not the same or should EVER be treated the same.

analyzing some milennials "counter-argument" because GOD there's so many loopholes in it im genuinely embarrassed for them.

First of all, you said anime characters aren't real and are just 2d. Pen and ink, right?

Well, let me tell you what lil bro, loli art is also just "pen and ink" or "2d", it doesnt affect you, right? But you're really quick to send the artist death threats, arent you? (im not defending lolicons they can go jump off a cliff with these pedos aswell)

Second of all, you spoke about japanese culture (not even being japanese yourself, even disrespecting it because sexualisation of minors is anything but culture) and even had the audacity to say they dont look like minors.

Yeah, they dont, but they canonically have ages + I've seen tons of younger people look way older than they are. You're basically saying "oh its fine to date a 13 year old if they look 18!", and trust me, I've seen a TON.

Third of all, yet again on the japanese culture and mangakas. You said that a lot of mangakas sexualise their own minor characters because its a part of their culture (which isnt, please do research before speaking absolute bullshit about a culture you dont even care to learn about) and that we should "let the japanese cook", basically implying we should let them sexualise these minors more so that you can have your gross perverted fantasies about them.

Fourth of all, no I'm not american, I'm romanian, you were so close! Must feel great blaming a whole group of people based on someone's opinion (fucking kill yourself)

Fifth of all, you said it's normal to others, basically proving how fucked up mentally some people are to even think that, how fucking deranged humanity became as a whole because if thats normal to you I suggest booking a permanent visit to an asylum.

Sixth of all, you said "You're writing smut about sukuna in a minors body though!" which yeah, okay, I'll give that one to you, but I genuinely dont give a fuck because I'm a minor and I can read whatever the fuck I want without feeling guilty unlike you pedophile, you're basically foaming at the mouth you're unable to read those fics because you'll be considered a pedo (which you are)

Seventh of all, how the fuck is Sukuna a rapist? You said "arguably", then argue with me bitch if you felt like this post was directed towards you (which it was 🤣)

Eight of all, you said "relax, it's just fantasies we have, they're not real." SO YOU AGREE TO HAVING FANTASIES ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A MINOR !!

i dont care if you come for me, i bet you'd want to make out with me or fuck me because im in your prefered age target, faggot:3

in conclusion: your argument is absolute dogshit

@kiiamei @yomommasdickrider @ashvie @cinnatoru