#now its like. well we dont really know whats going on. dont know where anything is going really. go do some quests tho
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now that my PI is like hey you should actually be sitting in the lab to write instead of doing it at home im shooting one million lasers at his head in my mind. fuck off
#exploding and killing even. WHO GIVE A WHOLE FUCKING SHIT MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!#ESPECIALLY since our AC is fucked up rn and my office is the only fucking one thats still hot#hes like oh you can work in [other girls] office shes out this week!!! like omg thank youuuuu thats a perfect setup for me 🥰🙏🏻#working in someone elses office doing work i can do exclusively at home because you think i should be in here even when you and nobody else#is. or you are but its not like we’re even seeing each other. awesome!!! 😁😁😁😁😁❣️#i dont know why hes doing this now. he literally hasnt given a shit before like he said verbatim when i joined the lab a YEAR AGO that he#doesnt need us to be in here all the time if we dont have anything in-person that we have to do. as long as we’re getting our work done.#AND I AM BITCH. SO WHY. THE FUCK. ARE YOU THROWING A LITTLE PISSY FIT ABOUT IT NOW. KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay whatever. i really like him and hes a lot better than some other PIs that have their students coming like 8-5 even if they have nothing#to do. like literally to the point where theyre playing cards and watching movies and shit. so it could be worse#but i dont know why he is MAKING it worse. when we literally had a perfectly fine lab dynamic going on. WHATS YOUR DEAL!!!!!#ugh whatever. its probably just bc its summer and hes like why the hell am i in the lab if nobody else is!!!!!#well man sorry to say it but you have kids. so im sure if you need work done you have to come here. but i dont have shit so i CAN work from#home with no problem. okay whatever rant done im not even that upset im just annoyed as fuck and idgaf if he said we should be here usually#9-4 my ass is leaving at 2:30 today to grocery shop and go the fuck home so i can actually get work done KILLS PEOPLE
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Imma be real, if normal was my son we wouldnt be hanging with them people no more cus you not gon treat my son like shit and expect him to get over it
#dndads spoilers#normal oak swallows garcia#they treat my baby like shit its crazy#dndads s2#linc literally kicked scary out his house for killing tony and now she aint gotta apologize?#the switch up is crazy ngl#literally no hate to matt or anything i love the direction the characters are going but im telling you rn#linc aint shit. we been knew scary wasnt shit. taylor dont even know normal exists#hermie be calling him a backup plan like dont nobody want my boy 😤 😒#and i know theyre teens and all that like i get why they fighting but at the same time#as someone who is on the otherside of one of those types of relationships rn... linc is not being a good friend to normal#and i do really wanna see where this goes cus this has been seeded for like 30 episodes now its crazy how good this show is#like they all acting they asses off so that's never the issue#i just dont think linc has a concept of what being a good friends actually entails outside of taylor and scary#also the parents are super to blame as well cus they should have been stepped in#i know its because anthony literally forgot they were there but...#someone needs to go up for normal and its gon be me i guess
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totk has flaws like any game but tbh it has easily met and perhaps exceeded my expectations. BOTW was like my fav game ever but totk is EXCELLENT and has so much more to do in it too
#nerd alert#flaws include: addison. i dont like him#also the voice acting in english is clumsy but that was true in botw too#i do kinda resent the fact that the story seems a lot more linear. and that the overall goals are less clearly defined from the start#but thats a weird complaint to make about a video game lol#botw was so invredibly simple it was basically like. beat these 4 minibosses. theres a few quests leading up to them. also do those#then beat big bad guy. the end#everything else was optional. hell even THAT was optional. only requirement was beat big bad guy#which is why the speedrun takes under half an hour and about 2/3 of it is spent on the unskillable tutorial area#now its like. well we dont really know whats going on. dont know where anything is going really. go do some quests tho#also as for its linearness. in botw you could pick which divine beast to go for furst#the obvious correct choice was vah ruta bc it was the easiest but like it wasnt required. you could do the others first#but in totk i tried doing the death mountain stuff BEFORE the rito stuff and i was NOT ready for all that.#the rito stuff isnt a walk in the park but after trying death mountain its like. more obviously Early Story#death mountain stuff just got me all confused!!!#im worried about zelda...
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK
#i was like huh whats that noise. bc i can normally NEVER hear anything over my headphones but it was the rain fucking shattering it down#my bed is WET the window was only open a few inches 😭#anyway had no signal at work again today smfh. but at least they let me on the bus free on the way there this morning#still a bit wobbly im in the baby deer phase of post major depressive episode#roommate asked how i was doing when she got home and i very very nearly started crying but i didnt i was so brave#my insane insecurity and anger swings post rsd episode have mostly faded too thank fuck. only took 4 days which is pretty good for me#but im still so so tired it takes everything out of me...#when im recovered + can talk abt it without making myself upset again im promising myself i will talk to her abt the rsd if nothing else#but i really really dont want to make her feel bad abt it at all its genuinely not anyones fault. but its important to me that i say smth#just so we can avoid it happening again where possible bc it does really suck so bad. for everyone im sure but mostly me here#and i would like to be able to care abt ppl and have close friends without risking my entire mental (+ physical..) wellbeing 😭#i think if im still struggling w mood once my meds stabilise i might ask if there are options to help w that too#like i think ive gone as far as i can w therapeutic techniques rn. its just too overwhelmingly intense and reflexive for me to apply that#and i dont feel like i live my life around it or in fear of it anymore like generally i have been a lot better#but when im vulnerable and it DOES strike i have no defense against it whatsoever and it can tank everything for weeks#its just high stakes. and it'll help to make sure ppl know abt it and might be able to support etc but it would be nice to never worry abt#so worth trying meds for it maybe. i just dont rly wanna have the conversations w medical ppl in order to get it in the first place#like i wouldnt feel safe telling a doctor abt it bc the idea of someone with that authority having power over me is terrifying#ah well this isnt a problem for right now. plus stimulants might help me w it anyway once im finished titrating so we'll see#got so distracted typing this i forgot what i was gonna do.... i need to check my planner#and then ill probably read and go to sleep early i think zzzzz#ahhh.. and the birds are singing outside now the rain has stopped :-)#.diaries
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Every now and then I remember that oni in fact will eventually have more lore added and I get so excited and scared for a moment and then I remember that it could take months until we see any of that and I proceed to forget abt it again and the cycle repeats
#rat rambles#oni posting#now it does sadden me a smidge that itll probably be in paid dlc but thats a problem for future me#the bright side of new lore is new lore#the downside of new lore is the eternal fear of canon jackie and olivia designs#not because Im opposed to them getting canon designs its just so scary#like what if klei made them white how would I move forward from that#and its not even a situation where I can say with any level of confidence if they would or not because god if I fucking know#like they have until very recently seemingly deliberately avoided including anything Too lore relevant in any animated trailers#but that can kind of just be explained by well. the fact that most of those updates didn't include any lore.#and those that do involve it stay strictly in the dupes perspective#so I can't rly use that as any sign that theyre deliberately avoiding giving olivia and jackie canon designs#I would highly prefer they dont get designs even without fear of designs I dislike mostly because narratively it just works better that way#but hey its not up to me so whatever happens happens#I mostly assume future lore is going to mostly relate to the dupe donors we havent met yet and elaborating on some of the ones we have seen#but dont see a lot of if anything at all#I hope they dont mess with jackie and olivia too much but I do think itd be nice to give jackie just a smidge more like Ive talked abt#and other than that I could see them adding maybe new story traits and if they're feeling real generous more dupe lore#oh and if we're mega lucky we could get a dr.holland first name#honestly I hope that for dr.holland specifically they either just do a hard name drop and move on or just dont touch him#rly my main concern with any added oni lore is I Really dont want them to start telling us too much#I really really like all of our information being very fragmented and unclear as it adds to the post end of the world vibe rly well#and this is in fact a problem that they had in older versions of the story that they seemingly went out of their way to solve#so I rly want to have faith that they wont fuck it up but I have been burned before and oni has yet to have fully earn my trust#its not far off tho just the scrapped logs themselves give me faith that they are aware what story theyre writing and what needs done#again the scrapped logs are cool but would have dampened the narrative quite significantly from how straight forward they are#so them being full one scrapped early on makes me hopeful that they realized that too#rly I just dont want too much expansion on the stuff we already know#some names and work ids would be splendid and Im all for new fragments to try to place in the timeline#I just dont want a log where nikola stares at the camera and monologues abt the duplicant project or smth
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Not Over the Papaya | OP81
⊹ 。•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader
Genre : Fluff Smau
A/N : Thank you guys for dropping messages 🧡 I really really appreciate them and I love interacting w/ u guys 🥺. If you have questions or anything u want to say to me~ go ahead and don’t be shy.
Face claim : Jennie Kim
Warnings : Cursing , Grammatical Errors
Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
< Previous | Part 11 | Next >
skysportsf1
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skysportsf1 P3 for Oscar! Catch up with the interview with our Fav Aussie in Papaya
user1 This interview was filled with so much tension (?) I can’t explain it.
user2 Osc looks like his both happy and at the same time angry??
user3 YES EXACTLY. Boy was seething and so uncomfortable when he was asked about Lando and Mclaren… then he was all smiles for the last question??
user4 “i’m paid to race, so I’ll race” OK SIR 🥶
user5 Oscar said fuck Lando’s race, I’m driving for myself
user6 Kimi Raikkonen is back y’all… hello Ice man
user7 Oscar has the WDC mentality 🔥
user8 A lot will happen?? what will happen huh Oscar Jack Piastri?? tell us.
user9 He is planning smth i swear.
user10 Ok Osc is pissed about Mclaren. That joke about losing his job was so dry, boi was angry fr.
user11 watch out for lap 1 turn 1 tomorrow. Oscar is taking the gap!!
f1wags.
liked by user1 and user2
f1wags Y/N was spotted leaving the Hilton (McLaren’s hotel).
user1 Noooooooooo Y/N pls dont leave! like where are you even going 😭
user2 First Y/N wasnt present in Quali and now she’s leaving the hotel??? what happened to her and Oscar??
user1 pls dont let them end before they even started
user2 I just got to know about them and I refuse to let it go!
user3 Did she leave with her luggage? maybe she went out for smth??
user4 She was spotted carrying her suitcase😭
user5 Lando Norris I swear to everything you love I’ll hunt you down
user6 Seriously, he couldn’t just let Y/N be happy huh? Bro had to cheat and make more problems 🤡
user7 Ik!! Dude stay on your lane. You end ella deserve each other so much
user8 who’s ella?
user9 Oh shes just Y/N’s ex friend that Lando cheated with 🤢. Lando and her really do complement each other so well 🤡
user10 WHY IS THERE A RUMOR THAT Y/N AND OSCAR ARE OVER?!!
user11 I mean if its true and they’re done… they couldnt even last 1 race week together. What kind of relationship is that 🙂
user12 @user11 a normal one?? imagine having so much stress and an ex trying to sabotage your love life.
*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Decline
*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Decline
*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Decline
Notification : you received a message from Osc🧡
*incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Pick Up
“I’m literally on the way, Osc. stop worrying!”
“I know, I know! I just miss you so much my most beautiful and lovely girlfriend”
“And whose fault was that hmm?”
“Mine…”
“Uhuh, I’ll be over there in a few minutes be patient dum-dum”
“Did John give you the keys to my room?”
“He did. I still can’t believe you got a room next to Charles’s without the rest of McLaren knowing that one of their drivers is not in their hotel”
“Well that one of the pros of them only caring about Lando’s ass”
“Thank you McLaren favoritism. I still can’t fucking believe that they’re ordering you around for personal matters”
“Yeah, fucking unbelievable. I thought Alpine was the worst. What employer has the right to dictate their driver’s personal decisions? they’re fucking crazy.”
“But are you sure you want to disobey orders? We could always keep us lowkey…”
“Screw lowkey and screw team orders! I’m not keeping us a secret!”
“As long as you want it Osc, I’m ok with anything as long as i’m with you”
“I’m perfectly sure, Dear”
“Ok. Oh! I’m near the hotel.”
“I’ll fetch you in the lobby alright?”
“mhm. Bye ~ love you!”
“love you more”
call ended
Y/N. close friends 3m
story replies
oscarpiastri am i forgiven then my luv? 🥺
Y/N. Hell nah, im still making you work for it 😌
oscarpiastri We have our whole lives, take your time~ im not leaving baby. Till death do us part girl.
Y/N. Wtf, i’m your girlfriend for hours and ur thinking about marriage???
oscarpiastri Yes. ur meeting my parents next week 🥰😘
Y/N. I have no words Oscar Jack Piastri
oscarpiastri an I do would be great
Y/N. I cant with you HAHAHAHAHA i love you so much. thank you for not giving up on us
oscarpiastri I love you so much more and I’m not making the mistake of letting you go.
danielricciardo Girl you were just crying yesterday I-
Y/N. ok now i’m crying for a different reason
danielricciardo I dont want to hear your sex life with Osc. pls dont 😷
Y/N. DANNY WTF NOT THAT 😩. I meant I’m crying tears of joy… I’m not going to talk about my sex life with u tf
danielricciardo that’s what i meant stupid! ur like a sister to me. Get u and oscs germs away from me🤢
Y/N. Stfu dweeb 🤓.
danielricciardo thank fuck that u two straightened things out . You two owe me big time for being ur messenger 😤
Y/N. yeah yeah~ thanks danny 😘🧡
danielricciardo I’m not kidding, you OWE me 🤡
y/bf DAMN OK. I expected an update but not this . Holy damn Y/N! so you and osc are good then?
Y/N. We areeeeee… and its official~ 🙈
y/bf Oh thank goodness!! Im so glad y/nieee 😭. I was about to book a flight too, you bitch!
Y/N. Really?? ughh you really do love me.
Y/bf are you happy?
Y/N. Yes. I really am .. and I think Osc and I need a to label our relationship. sooo yeahh~ let more drama pour, at least now we know where we stand.
f1wags.
liked by user1 and others
f1wags. Y/N is in the paddock for the race 🧡
user1 Y/N FINALLY!! girl ur lack of attendance made us worry!! pls tell us u and osc are ok???
user2 The 2 days you’ve been gone in the paddock made everyone crazy! Theories of breakups and come backs are spread 😭
user3 Y/N strutting back in the paddock like nothing happened ~ Ok slay. I need that type of confidence
user4 Fr, Y/N waltzing in like she didn’t just drop a literal diss track on Lando
user5 As she should 💅
user6 THAT FIT THO 🥵🔥
user7 she ain’t dressing Lowkey Y’all . She’s here and she’s ready to serve!
user8 when Oscar said things are happening? things are HAPPENING and it starts with Y/N L/N.
user9 Ok Y/N! show them what’s up.
user10 McLaren can’t stop this girl.
Y/N. 45m
story replies
oscarpiastri Thank you Baby 🧡
Y/N. That overtake in turn 1 was so good Osc!! I got goosebumps
oscarpiastri ur only saying that cuz I got Lando down into P4 with my move
Y/N. NO you just were amazing! ngl i did enjoy throwing Lando out 👹
oscarpiastri I did promise a show 😉 and speaking of shows~ I need to go to our de breifing and watch them clown around.
Y/N. Okay! I’ll be with Alex at Ferrari. Call me when you need meeee. Bye luv.
* at McLaren motorhome, driver debriefing room.
-what the fuck was that at turn 1 Oscar?!-
-That’s what you call racing, I saw a gap and I took it-
-You cost me my race. That podium should be mine-
-Not my fault you bottled your first lap, now is it?-
-OK STOP. Oscar you should think about the team! Lando was on pole!-
-Funny how that works. You hired me to drive and I did. I got you your podium and points for your constructors-
-Follow team orders! that’s your fucking job-
-What you expect me to sit still and take it?-
-Yes, Oscar. That’s how this team works-
- Tsk and that goes for personal matters too?-
-Ah, so that’s what it is? This is about Y/N. Are you worried that she’ll see you as the loser you are?-
-Not at all, specially when I don’t get babied by the team. Tell me how does it feel like kissing up the boss’ ass? -
- FUCK YOU! -
-THAT’S ENOUGH. Oscar you should know when to stop! You’re still new here… learn your place and follow orders exactly as stated — and that goes with Y/N L/N keep your distance or face the consequences -
- Watch me -
*Incoming call from Osc🧡
Pick up or Decline
Pick up
“Hi Osc! are you done?”
“Dear, do you trust me?”
“What?…. about what?”
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes. I do”
“Ok. Baby we’re going public”
Extra A/N: hihihi did I scare you with the false breakup?? 🤭
Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed
Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now
#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1 fic#mclaren#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 smau#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri texts#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri au#op81 smau#op81 fluff#op81 imagine#op81 fic#op81 x reader#op81#ln4 fic#ln4 texts#lando norris fic#lando norris#notp#lando norris fanfic
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i realized the other day after posting about this fan theory that, at this point, it is basically talked about in fandom as if its canon, and newer fans might not understand why. my goal today was to explain the theory and all of the evidence we have for it in inquisition to give people a better understanding of why this has become so ubiquitous, and to hopefully have something to look back on in two months with that "apollo gift of prophecy" dodgeball meme when veilguard proves us right.
very important before i get started: this is not my theory. i didn't make it up. unfortunately, i also don't know exactly who did and if it could even be traced at this point. this is something that many people have believed for a long time, and i'm not the first to write about it. there are a lot of great posts and essays that speculate on this theory, and what it could mean for solas's character going forward.
PLEASE feel free to contribute thoughts, or link to posts you have made yourself or seen before in the replies/reblogs!!! much of my own experience with this comes from long before this account existed, so i dont have exact sources but rather random, amorphous fandom knowledge of this theory and what major arguments have circulated in the past 10 years. this post by @sammakesart and this post by @mrs-gauche went around recently and both touch on this theory and i highly recommend them both! i know @corseque has also written about this theory multiple times over the years.
i was first introduced to this on tumblr when it started gaining ground in the fandom after the release of trespasser in 2015, predominantly due to a couple of lines of cole dialogue from trespasser, so that is where we will begin.
shoutout to @daitranscripts and the dragon age wiki for the dialogue
this line of cole's is basically the foundation of this theory, and what is cited most often. i'm not entirely sure if the theory existed before trespasser, but if it did, i dont remember it being well-known or widely accepted like it is now.
this line is usually interpreted to suggest that solas, who would have been a spirit of wisdom/pride at the time, took a body and came into being as an elf at mythal's behest. this is also the line that suggests solas himself once wore vallaslin, and that he removed it himself using the same spell he uses on a romanced lavellan thousands of years later, but did so clumsily the first time and left the scar we can see on his eyebrow.
first i want to acknowledge what are pretty much the most damning indications of this theory
solas means "pride; to stand tall" in elvhen, according to world of thedas vol. 1
the dread wolf form we see in murals, written descriptions, and of course, in real life in the veilguard trailer, bears a pretty clear resemblance to pride demons:
most notably, in the face and eyes. yeah i dont really have anything else to say about those lmao it's pretty blatant
overall, inquisition tells us a great deal about spirits, and gives the player an alternate worldview through which to understand them, distinct from the chantry/circle narrative presented previously.
solas himself, along with cole, has a lot to say about the nature of spirits throughout his dialogue and banter with several characters. one sentiment that he espouses repeatedly is that spirits and demons are the same thing, but demons are a spirit corrupted and perverted away from its purpose.
Solas: They rarely seek this world. When they do, their natures do not often survive exposure to the people they encounter. Wisdom and purpose are too easily twisted to pride and desire
During All New, Faded for Her:
PC: Solas, you said your friend was a wisdom spirit. Solas: That is not its natural form. It has been corrupted. PC: Corrupted? Solas: Forced to act against its original purpose. What did they do, what did they do, what did they do?
second, that spirits and the fade are a mirror, and reflect the waking world. specifically, that spirits reflect the perception and expectation of a mortal, and adapts accordingly. belief makes reality.
On Ostagar:
PC: I've heard the stories. It would be interesting to hear what it was really like. Solas: That's just it. In the Fade, I see reflections created by spirits who react to the emotions of the warriors. One moment, I see heroic Wardens lighting the fire and a power mad villain sneering as he lets King Cailan fall. The next, I see an army overwhelmed and a veteran commander refusing to let more soldiers die in a lost cause. PC: And you can't tell which is real? Solas: It is the fade. They are all real.
and third, that spirits are people.
solas expresses concerns over what the breach does to spirits at multiple points, including here with cassandra.
he also regularly argues in favor of spirits personhood, and passionately pushes back against characters who argue the opposite, such as dorian:
as well as the inquisitor themselves, should they choose certain dialogue options:
PC: You trust these spirits not to possess you the first time you accidentally make a wish? Solas: Do you trust your friends not to turn on you? (authors note: LMFAOOOOOOO) PC: Well, yes, but they're people. Solas: Ah, of course. PC: You know what I mean. Solas: Are people only people because they are flesh and blood? Solas: Is Cassandra defined by her cheekbones and not her faith? Varric by his chest hair not his wit? PC: They're not defined by their bodies, but they do have bodies. You need one to be a person. Solas: A demon possessing a corpse has a body. PC: A living body. Solas: A demon possesses a living mage to become an abomination. PC: They didn't make that body. They just took it over. Solas: Technically your mother created your body, with some help from your father, one assumes. PC: You've thought about this. Solas: On occasion, yes. OR:
PC: Spirits are bound by their nature. You said it yourself. They're shaped by contact with real people. Solas: Just as Leliana was shaped by contact with Divine Justinia, as those who serve the inquisition are shaped by you. If I change your mind in this conversation, does that mean you're no more real than a spirit? OR: PC: Im certain you have some rhetorical trick ready to counter anything I say. Solas: It's likely. I've had a lot of time to discuss the question with people. Or "spirits", if you prefer.
aside from this entire conversation being hilarious and very fen'harel coded, i think its notable that his enthusiasm and snark here is distinct from the way he engages in other debates, where he is often clinical and detached. on the subject of spirits, however, we get a lot more emotional investment from him - it feels personal. as he says, he's thought about it. on occasion.
solas having originally been a spirit adds helpful context for his insistence on spirit's personhood despite modern thedas's completely contradictory beliefs, and also helps inform his worldview more generally, especially in regards to elves.
one of solas's most heavily criticized aspects is his disdain for modern elves and the dalish. and i agree, it's fucked up and he is an absolute ass about it at nearly every opportunity. however, his feelings regarding the elves sometimes seem... strange, even in the context of him being an ancient elf.
keeping in mind cole's line from trespasser, that he "did not want a body", as well as another cole line from trespasser:
most people infer that there is some sort of resentment on solas's end for him having to become human at mythal's request. it seems as if he was turned away from his purpose. wisdom forced to be pride.
cole's personal quest, which shows solas passionately arguing to keep cole a spirit, supports this. it is almost as if he is trying to prevent cole from the same fate that was forced upon him.
throughout the quest he says things such as: "This is not some fanciful story, child of the stone. We cannot change our nature by wishing." "A spirit does not work through emotions. It embodies them." "You would alter the essence of what he is." "It is good that he is not entirely changed, however human he becomes."
most telling of all, i think is this line at the end of the quest if you elect to keep cole as a spirit.
Varric: "He could have been a person." Solas: Possibly. Would that have made him happier?
OUGGHGH.
clearly, for solas, the answer was no. being a person has not made him happier.
regardless, solas still values spirits as fundamentally equal to people despite their differences and worthy of the same freedoms, self-determination and respect.
this kinship with spirits, however, might help explain his disdain for elves, in a way i find to be more satisfying than "all ancient elves are assholes" and more in-line with his character overall.
it seems as if solas doesnt see himself as separate from modern elves because he doesnt see himself as a modern elf, but that he doesnt not see himself as an elf at all, but rather as a spirit.
solas infamously says, following halamshiral if you bring up briala:
"I'm sorry, I was confused. I do not consider myself to have much in common with the elves."
the inquisitor has the option for several responses, and although most of us probably pick the one that tells him to fuck off, the others are more telling:
PC: Nor should you. You're not defined by the shape of your ears. They're not your people. Solas: No, they are not. OR PC: Who do you have much in common with. Who are your people? Solas: A good question. Solas: I joined the inquisition to save the world. Regardless of who "my people" are, this was the best way to help him.
"not being defined by the shape of your ears" and solas's immediate identification with the statement and approval of it sticks out to me. it seems like he's just being racist, and he very well might be, but in the context of this theory, it can also be interpreted as him disliking being "defined" by having a body at all, or any physical characteristics, consistent with how he resists the idea that varric and cassandra are defined by their own physical characteristics.
if the player insists they want to help the orlesian elves even if he doesnt, he still has something interesting to say:
Solas: Stop Corypheus. That will do for a start. It speaks well of you to feel for the oppressed. Help them for that. Know them for what they are.
this is not the only time he equates all oppressed groups of thedas to one another, defined by their shared subjugation rather than the real, in-world divisions such as race and religion. it's also interesting to consider the relationship between oppression, as a situation that evokes certain emotions in those who experience it, such as pride. as solas says of ostagar, spirits there were drawn to the emotions of the soldiers there. are spirits of pride drawn to situations of oppression, where pride is needed for liberation?
solas's failure (or refusal) to recognize the reality of how oppression functions in modern thedas along lines of race and ethnicity specifically is one of his biggest flaws, but it continues to fit with this theory, as it is consistent with that same sort of single-minded, spirit tunnel-vision that we see from spirits and demons. i would also assume that he considers spirits to be part of this monolithic group of "the oppressed", considering the spirit slavery/bondage practices in tevinter and nevarra, both of which he criticizes.
i do believe, however, that to equate all of solas's unfair derision of the dalish to him identifying with spirits over people, rather than ancient elves over modern elves, would be too generous and an oversimplification. its also clear how much of his anger towards the dalish comes from... wait for it.... his wounded pride.
solas is prideful. when he is faced with pride in others, he becomes defensive, even nasty. when his pride is challenged, often by others pride, he becomes almost unrecognizable. the dalish specifically rub up against his pride, in the most specific of ways that grate at his most cherished qualities and that disregard his own perception of himself. the thing he is most proud of, leading a slave rebellion against corrupt tyrants, erased from history entirely. branded a traitor instead, while those he fought against are worshiped as saviors for millennia.
Solas: I have joined my fair share of causes. But when I offered lessons learned in the Fade, I was derided by my enemies... and sometimes by my allies. Liar. Fool. Madman. There are endless ways to say something isn't worth listening to. Over time, it grinds away at you.
its also possible, considering what we know of the nature of expectation creating reality for spirits, that the dalish framing of the dread wolf actually does indeed make him worse - more arrogant, less compassionate, more ruthless, more cunning, more of a liar. a spirit being perverted into a demon based on the dominant perception of it.
perhaps the most interesting tidbit about solas of all which supports this theory, is that this phenomenon of expectation shaping his nature, making him more prideful or more humble, is not exclusive to the world of thedas, but also occurs on a meta-level with the player by proxy of the inquisitor.
a 2020 interview of trick weekes, solas's writer, says this pretty much verbatim.
"Solas mirrors. If you approach Solas from a place of humility and say, "I want to learn from you," Solas will bend over backwards to tell you how flawed he is and how he's just coming at this from his own limited understanding. If you come in with ego, Solas is genetically incapable of not bristling when he sees your ego... because he can't not do that."
this is fascinating for like 7 million reasons, but most notably for the language trick uses that i believe to be incredibly revealing. first, solas himself talks about how spirits "mirror" the real world multiple times. second is the way in which they speak about solas's mirroring as innate, uncontrollable, and involuntary. he is genetically incapable of not mirroring. genetically incapable of not bristling at someone else's pride. this being a genetic incapability implies, pretty unambigously, that he is a spirit. we dont know of any people in thedas who have pride in their DNA. except. you know. pride demons.
pride is his purpose. he cannot turn away from it or betray that purpose to pursue something else. he cannot change his nature simply by wishing. if he were to attempt it, he would be corrupted.
trick offers this information as an explanation for player's extremely varied perception of solas when playing the game, and it perfectly mimics the way solas himself talks about spirits as being created by a dreamer's expectation of them.
when asked about his friendships with spirits, he says:.
PC: You're saying that you became friends with pride and desire demons? Solas: They were not demons for me. PC: Meaning? Solas: The Fade reflects the minds of the living. If you expect a spirit of wisdom to be a pride demon, it will adapt/ And if your mind is free of corrupting influences? If you understand the nature of the spirit? They can be fast friends.
i just love how perfectly this reflects every fandom argument that's been had on twitter about solas for the past 10 years. like seriously.
random twitter user: you like that guy!? but hes a [demon]!! solas stans: he wasn't a demon for me
and it is true; people who are pretty deep into the games often know what solas is like to a low-approval inquisitor, but it can be shocking for new players to see what he is like at the other end of the approval spectrum, whether that is someone who hated him seeing the tenderness with which he kisses a romanced lavellan goodbye to remove her anchor in trespasser, or someone who romanced him witnessing the cruelty and detachment which with he grabs a low-approval inquisitor to yank off their anchor. he becomes almost an entirely different person based on how the player treats him.
for all that solas, in true spirit form, reflects the perceptions of the players, he has plenty of pure pride-demon vibes on his own, independent of player expectation. he is not just proud, or made proud as a mirror for player/character pride, but he often even goes as far as to act in ways that mimic how we have seen from spirits more generally, as well as pride demons specifically.
the wiki states:
"Spirits are not complex in the sense that they seize upon a single facet of human experience, and this one idea becomes their identity.[3] They are formed as a reflection of the real world and its passions.[10] A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose. For instance, a hunger demon will attempt to feed on anything it crosses,[4] and a spirit of justice will stop at nothing to uphold its name”
along with further reinforcing solas's tunnel vission as characteristic of spirits, he does indeed intentionally attempt to stoke arrogance in others, as well as test characters to see if they are vulnerable to arrogance and power-hungriness. this is probably best exemplified by his banter with vivienne, versus his banter with cassandra.
i mean this one is self explanatory. cmon.
but it becomes especially interesting when compared to his interactions with cassandra, of whom he starts out very distrustful of. however, through their banter, he immediately begins to test her for indications of her inclination towards arrogance and desire for power:
cassandra passes solas's tests and earns his approval through her humility, curiosity, and willingness to give up power for the greater good. as a result, solas softens considerably towards her, and becomes more evocative of wisdom than pride, offering her advice when she asks, though very humbly:
"i would hardly presume" is actually hilarious considering how he does presume. ALL THE TIME. but it shows the extent of this "mirroring" that trick mentions, when compared to how he speaks with vivienne, who does not pass his tests of pride: notice how his jabs at her specifically target her pride, the things she is proud of about herself, and tear them down:
he tells her that her position in the orlesian court is unearned, that the freedom she is so proud of winning for herself will come to an inevitable end, and that her resistance to demons does not make her special. its absolutely BRUTAL.
its especially important to note how little bearing vivienne and cassandra's backgrounds have on solas's perception of them. vivienne is a circle mage, a group of people who solas deeply sympathizes with, and believes should be freed. meanwhile cassandra is effectively templar, a group whom solas despises and finds unjust, and has been complacent in the oppression of mages that solas is so vehemently against.
and yet? it does not matter. he measures their worth based entirely on their propensity for pride.
it’s worth noting too, keeping in mind Solas’s almost uncharacteristic reverence for cassandra’s faith in the maker and (take this with a grain of salt because it was david gaider and he said via forum post….) that there are actually two types of spirits that become pride. wisdom, and faith.
"A spirit embodies and latches onto a specific purpose and will do all in its power to fulfill that purpose."
what we DONT know: pretty much everything else about this. what was the process like? at what point in history did he take the body? how was that body made? was it stolen? did he start as wisdom and turn into pride later? did he always oscillate between both? was he corrupted by what was asked of him, to fight, as his friend was in his personal quest?
i could continue talking about this forever, probably, especially with how it manifests in the solavellan relationship and what it suggests for solas's story in veilguard, but ill cut it here for both my own sanity and yours. but first, a few fun dialogue bits that strike me as very pride-demon coded but didn't fit anywhere else in this analysis.
in conclusion:
#phew!#love putting my autism + english degree to good use on a saturday morning :D#come get yall juice#solas#solas dragon age#dragon age#meta#dragon age meta
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𔓘 Tw : Yandere, Dark Content, Spiritual Relationship, Jealousy, the word 'Rot' Mentioned, unholy thoughts, Virginity-take, Dubcon, Marriage, Unwanted pregnancy at the end (?) lmk if i miss anything. Chubby Reader Fics with no Skintone of Reader mentioned.
Do not cross any further Boundaries if this isnt your cup of tea. Dont like it? just block.
thinking abt yandere spirit who are in love with chubby!soft!witch!reader.
Yandere spirit who spending his after-death life with regret because he really blame himself for not meeting you early enough to fuck your fat pussy.
Yandere spirit who is sooo eager to fuck you, seeing you go around with your tight dress that almost made your asscheeks and boobs go explode expose.
Yandere spirit who ask you to do something with him just so he can touch you like a human does.
Yandere spirit who is soo jealous when other people start to touching you without your constent at all. guess someone is going to get hunted this night huh?
Yandere spirit who likes to touch your thights when you were sleeping. putting his hands into your thights while rubbing it softly. as he drown himself in with thoughts of how your soft body texture would feel around his hands.
Yandere spirit who wished you to be dead sooner with him just so you can be together with him forever. seeing other people trying to get into you closer making him gawk.
Yandere spirit who soon enough -- declares a Marriage between you and him in a Village of Spirit or what-so-ever.
Yandere spirit who swears on his life and after-dead life that he would always be there for you even when his flesh was rotting. well i mean.. his flesh was rotting only for you too.
Yandere spirit who cant even explain with words how happy he was when his fingers start to opened up your fatty pussy, as his heads start to move forward to it while his tongue is out -- ready to eat his after-dead meal.
and after all of that dead dreams of his, we finally met to the end; he claimed all of your maidenhood. all of it, all the things you dont know about -- to all the things about sex that was quite popular in the time where he was once lived. where he was once have a dream to try it out, but sadly enough the reaper was fast enough to grab his lifefull soul. and now, its his turn -- as he grab all your maidenhoods that night. and at the early morning, where a blessing from a devils arrived. where you would find the shock of the news that you are carrying his baby just at that moment. yes, your baby. you and his baby. the dead 's baby.
NANAMI, KAISER, Itoshi Brothers, Itto, XIAO, SCARAMOUCHE, Shibura, SEMI EITA, jiraiya, Sugawara, Tsukishima Kei, KAGEYAMA TOBIO, Itachi, CHOSO, Megumi, Gojo, MADARA, Hashirama, DEIDARA, Sasori, Al-Haitam, ZHONGLI, CHILDE, Kaeya, QIN SHI HUANG, Poseidon, OBITO, Kakashi, ALEC, Jack The Ripper, DOUMA, ENMU, Akaza, Muzan, SAKAMAKI AYATO, SAKAMAKI LAITO, Mukami Kou, Sakamaki Reiji, Oikawa, & SHIGARAKI.
#chubby reader#plus size reader#yandere x chubby darling#yandere x chubby reader#yandere smut#yandere x reader#tw.yandere#tw: yandere#genshin impact smut#genshin x reader#yandere genshin#yandere naruto#yandere jjk#diabolik lovers x reader#madara smut#madara x reader#haikyuu smut#yandere haikyuu#haikyuu dark content#haikyuu x reader#yandere blue lock#blue lock x chubby reader#blue lock smut#kny smut#kny x reader#douma x reader#muzan x reader#zhongli x reader#diabolik lovers smut#akatsuki x reader
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do you hate me? (no, i don't, princess.) - choi seungcheol
warnings: mentions of alcohol (slightly intoxicated reader)
pairings: choi seungcheol x afab reader
genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst
a/n: i know i did best friends to lovers for wonwoo already but this has been sitting in my drafts for quite awhile and also, tbh this is probably one of my fav tropes hahaha enjoy!
requests open!
check out my masterlist!
seungcheol's pov
''cheol-ah...do you hate me?''
''no, my love, i dont.'' i watch as a small smile flashes across her flushed cheeks. im not sure why i even responded to her at all seeing how drunk she was. she probably wont remember any of this in the morning when she wakes up anyway.
''who the hell gave her this much to drink? you guys know she can't hold her liquor well! you should have stopped her!'' i was honestly no where near as upset as i sounded. while a part of me is slightly upset, im also rather glad and relieved. glad that i can be here to take care of her and relieved because...its me who gets the privilege of taking care of her.
''im sorry hyung, i didnt expect her to drink so much and so quickly as well. soonyoung hyung and i were just getting dinner after work together but we ran into her so we went together. i swear i tried stopping her but im no match for the two of them! i couldnt even stop soonyoung hyung.'' dino said with a pout. ''i wanted to send her back home but she kept insisting that she wont leave with anyone else but you. i dont think she even recognises me right now. she kept calling me a stranger and said if i dont stop pestering her, her best friend would come fight me... i didnt have a choice hyung...'' dino looks almost terrified and its funny. i was trying so hard to fight a smile from coming out.
dino thought that i was mad at him for calling me out this late at night on my day off but truth be told, if this is what you call a disturbance then this would be the best kind. i love her. not that i would ever admit that to anyone. although, i don't think i need to. i know that the boys can tell. ''oh hyung...you're here?'' soonyoung finally spoke out. i shook my head in slight disapproval as i watch soonyoung slouch on the chair, almost losing his balance and falling over. ''chan-ah, i think you should bring soonyoung home. he's wasted.''
''i will hyung. im sorry again for calling you but you're her best friend afterall and she was asking for you.'' yeah, best friend indeed.
i watched as dino hauled soonyoung towards an incoming cab before i finally sat down beside her. ''how are you feeling?'' i asked as i gently helped her get up to walk towards my car that was parked just by the side of the road. ''just a little dizzy and fuzzy.'' i chuckled at that. fuzzy? cute.
i opened the door to the passenger seat and helped her in. i buckled her seatbelt for her and stepped back. ''where are you going?'' she looked at me with a slight sadness to it. i chuckled as i gently patted the side of her head. ''to the driver's seat, princess. we've gotta get you home somehow, dont we?'' she smiles at my response and i finally manage to close her side of the door.
''cheol-ah, can you hold my hand? it feels empty..'' her hand comes up to where mine is and held it in place before i could even answer. i could feel my heart beating so loud. how does she do it with such ease? i wonder if she knows how nervous she makes me feel. ''cheol-ah, do you hate me?'' she asked as she tried to keep her eyes open. probably fighting sleep. ''no, i dont, princess. i thought i already told you that just now.'' i said with a smile.
''i just wanted to make sure.'' she said as she let out a deep breath.
''why would i hate you?'' and this time, she closes her eyes. ''i just feel like...if you knew how i really felt about you, you would hate me.''
''i could never hate you no matter what, and besides, you know you can tell me anything, right? i'll always be by your side.'' i tried to reassure her.
''you can't say that when you dont know anything.''
''tell me then.''
''i can't cheol.''
''why not? i thought we promised each other not to keep any secrets between us?'' i immediately bit my tongue as soon as i said that; knowing full well that im keeping my biggest secret from her as well.
''but if i tell you....can you promise me not to get mad?''
''i promise.''
''theres someone i like...no no..theres someone im in love with for the past 2 years but i dont think he feels the same way..i thought it was just a stupid crush at first and that it would go away but it never did and my crush only grew bigger...i thought i would be able to handle it and pretend like it doesnt affect me but it does and i cant take it anymore.''
and there it was. that churning feeling in the pit of my stomach. my hands start to get clammy and my throat starts to feel dry. ''for 2 years?'' i start to think back to when that time period was. was it 2022? i had already been in love with her for 2 years by 2022. was i a fool to not have noticed that she had her eyes on someone else while i had mine on her?
''yeah..2 years..isnt that so pathetic?'' pathetic? i've been in love with you for 4 years..who is the pathetic one here? but instead i said ''no, its not. i've been worse.'' i am worse. i let out a deep sigh as i felt my heart slowly breaking. i felt like my heart was hard candy and a kid is just throwing me onto the ground and stomping on my heart with no regards whatsoever other than to smash this piece of candy into broken bits for the fun of it.
''come on. we're here.'' i parked the car and got out of the driver's seat and walked over to open the door of the passenger seat. ''cheol-ah...can you carry me in? my legs are not working.'' i wanted to say: of course, princess. anything for you. but i held my tongue. without saying a word, i lifted her up and closed the car door.
i punched in the code to the door, kicked my shoes off and carried her straight to her bedroom. i laid her down gently on her bed before kneeling down beside her to take her shoes off. i walked towards the bathroom to look for some cotton pads and make up remover as i returned to her bed, to her. ''come on my love, let's get your make up cleaned off hmm? otherwise you'll have a fit tomorrow about sleeping with your make up on.'' i smiled as i recalled that one time she slept in with her make up on and had the biggest fit in the morning about forgetting to take them off, screaming about how her skin will become worse and she'll turn even uglier, but she could never. it was just not possible. she is beautiful, always have been and always will be regardless of anything.
''no one takes care of me the way you do.'' she said softly against my ear as i helped her sit up to wipe her face clean. ''yet, you're still in love with some guy who i don't even know for 2 years!'' i tried to mask my sadness with some fake laughter. i hope she can't tell.
''i can't tell you...i can't tell anyone.''
''why not? is it that bad? plase don't tell me its soonyoung.''
''what? soonie? don't be crazy, he's like a brother to me.''
''then who is it?''
''mhm..can't say...''
i sighed and said ''lets get you to bed now. you're tired.'' as i get up to head to the bathroom, i felt her tug the sleeve of my jacket. forcing me to look back at her.
''can you stay here with me tonight? sleep with me.'' how could i ever say no to her? i would be the biggest idiot if i ever did. i always want to be close to her.
i let out a breath as i took my jacket off and throwing it on her work chair. ''come here, princess.'' i mindlessly held my hand out to her as i laid in bed with her. she rolled over clumsily to my side, putting her head on my chest. i wonder if she can hear the sound of my heartbeat picking up as strongly as i can feel it beating against my chest.
she took a deep inhale before she said ''you smell so good cheol, you always do.'' i smiled lightly as i pulled her in closer and tigher. nothing ever feels more right than when i have her in my arms.
''goodnight princess, sleep tight.''
''i love you.'' she said, almost too casually for my liking. telling each other we love each other isn't anything new, but how can she possibly say that to me after telling me she's been in love with someone else for the past 2 years? my heart broke again at the remembrance of that.
''goodnight, princess.'' i couldn't tell her i love her back, not when we don't love each other the same way. not when she doesn't love me the same way.
''why don't you say it back?'' she sounded hurt and it made me regret not saying it back...i never want to hurt her.
''do you hate me?'' she asked again.
''no i don't, princess. i love you.'' i said as i felt my heart sink little by little.
i carelessly start stroking her hair, hoping to put her to sleep soon. ''i love you.'' i said again.
when will i ever get the chance to tell her i love her again without having to hide my romantic feelings for her? when will i ever get to tell her i love her again without having to worry if she's finally figured me out? its so much easier to do it in the dark like this..where she can't see me, where i can hide. where i can love her proudly and openly without being afraid.
''i'm in love with you'' she said as she snuggled closer.
''let's sleep now its- wait what?'''
this time, its her turn to sigh. ''i said im in love with you, choi seungcheol.''
''you're drunk.''
''maybe..but i'm still in love with you. it doesn't change anything.''
i look down at her on my chest, but she was already looking at me. ''don't joke with me like that, princess. you know i don't take jokes well.''
''but i'm not.''
''you're not thinking clearly, princess. we've been best friends for forever, there's no way you're suddenly in love with me.''
''but its not sudden.''
i averted my eyes away from her to look back at the ceiling. i cant even look at her now. not when she's looking at me like that. not when she's looking at me like she means it, because i know it can't be.
''don't you have that guy you say you're in love with for 2 years? how would he feel if he found out that you're suddenly in love with me? how can you say it so casually? did u ever think about how i would feel? you can't just-'' and there it was. i felt my whole world stop, i felt it freeze. am i the one thats intoxicated tonight? what is happening because it can't be. that can't be her lips on mine.
she took advantage of my lips being slightly open from shock to slip her tongue in mine. and i let her. the same way she lets me run my hand through her hair, the same way she lets me kiss her back, and the same way she lets me pull her in closer by her neck to deepen the kiss.
''you're so noisy cheol.'' were not the words i expected to come out of her mouth after that kiss. ''what do you-''
''can i love you cheol? can i love you like that? can i be in love with you?''
i wanted so badly to screamYES but nothing comes out no matter how i try. i was dumbfounded. instead, all i did was let out a shakey breath.
''cheol...why are you not saying anything? are you....are you mad at me? i'm sorry i didn't mean to, i don't know what came over me im so-'' i felt her slowly removing her hands from my waist and letting go of my hand. ''no no no god im not upset i'm just.. i don't know what to say i don't know how to respond i just...'' i sighed at myself as reach out to hold her hand again.
''i'm in love with you too, i have for as long as i can remember.''
''really?''
''yes, really, princess.''
and it goes silent for awhile before i finally picked up the courage to ask ''did you..did you mean me? i mean...the guy that you were in love with. is it..is it me? because i understand if its not me and if this was a mistake-''
''yes, dummy. its you.'' this time i get to see her shy smile.
''oh...i see...cool.'' oh. oh? OH. it's me. i'm yet again rendered speechless. can i be blamed if the girl i've been in love with for the past 4 years suddenly kissed me and told me she loves me? that she's in love with me. she loves me. what am i to do or say when this all feels so surreal?
''so.....'' she starts out.
''so..?''
''do you hate me?''
''no, i don't, princess. i told you, i love you. i'm in love with you.''
i finally let myself break into a smile. it'll be over my dead body if i ever let her feel like i don't love her.
''really?''
''yes, princess, really. although, you might forget all this when you wake up tomorrow.''
''no, i won't. i'll tell you i love you again in the morning.''
''now, how about we go to bed and talk about this tomorrow over breakfast? i'll make you blueberry pancakes.'' i said as i stroked her cheek with my thumb. i pray she won't forget.
''i'd love that. goodnight cheol.''
''goodnight, princess.'' i waited a beat before i added ''i love you.'' but this time, i don't get a response. this time, i hear a light snore from her instead as i smile to myself. but for once, its okay if she doesn't tell me she loves me back because she fell asleep again. for once, my heart is not aching over questioning what her i love yous mean because for once, i know i won't have to tell her i love her just to hear her say she loves me too, because i know she will tell me that herself in the morning when she wakes up.
for once, i finally know what she truly means when she tells me she loves me. and for once, she knows what i truly mean when i tell her i love her.
#seventeen#seveneteen angst#svt#svt fluff#svt angst#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#svt imagine#seungcheol#scoups#seungcheol svt#svt seungcheol#seungcheol fanfiction#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol fluff#seungcheol angst#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol imagine#seungcheol seventeen#seventeen seungcheol#choi seungcheol#seventeen fluff
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I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT
below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this
oh my god okay okay where do i even start
opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up
watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok
this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!
i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis
arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie
but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.
i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.
the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this
OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD
jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed
the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH
all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!
once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM
rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it
the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that
okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT
FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER
stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET
just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT
when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.
the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd
GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.
dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.
and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell
speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing
what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah
special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast
WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL
the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS
a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!
anyway. back to the horrors.
i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP
i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me
chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!
SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING
TIMOTHEE
FUCKING
CHALAMET
listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.
he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing
paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting
like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different
what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!
also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg
when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us
also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore
have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her
okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive
chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much
THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD
IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL
THE WORMS
THE SENSE OF SCALE
THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY
THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME
THE SOUND
EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL
the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell
every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis
gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3
the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall
i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell
i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3
OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO
HERE WE GO YALL
THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK
THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!
THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start
okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys
paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around
i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more
i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?
but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.
oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.
theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point
another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!
this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani
chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"
i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.
sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3
#dune#dune part two#dune part 2#paul atreides#chani kynes#jessica atreides#feyd rautha#feyd rautha harkonnen#rabban harkonnen#vladimir harkonnen#stilgar#alia atreides#irulan corrino#im so crazy im so feral holy shit#okay im going to bed now#its 1 am lmao#ive been writing these down for like 2 hours since i got back
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im in love with your content omg😭 your writing style is just chefs kiss
can i req a reader with the tf141 being on a mission and hearing an enemy say something in british slang and they just go "what did they just say.." in comms? like a reader who doesnt know anything about slang like not even that bars in the uk r called pubs (if im not wrong) and just nods whenever a private talks in slang, and their brain is just trying to figure out what they just said?
its just a really silly plot with a silly reader :3
pardon? — python333
— — — —
synopsis just as the req says, you know nothing about british slang and on a mission the enemy speaks british and you dont know what theyre saying :3
relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & reader.
characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.
word count 2.6k
warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].
note HI YES I LOVE THIS REQ!! i take every opportunity i can to make fun of british people so this is right up my alley!! tysm for the compliments hjfhdjskf recently ive been getting more praise on my works and it makes me so happy i love yall. again, sorry if this sounds a little rushed or if any parts are incoherent, i wrote this at 12/1am and im both more productive and write more nonsense at this time + this one is wayyyy shorter than ones i usually do because i didnt know what else to write for it so i apologize for that as well! this is pure fluff and humor (i like to think im funny) so enjoy!!
“—eah, and now we have to camp out here ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do it ‘imself, so I feel like we should have a chat with the others, see if they’re willing to leg it out of here with us,” An enemy soldier suggests to you, his British accent thick enough that you think it might be cockney.
You cross your arms to hide your shaking hands and nod in agreement, as if you understood anything he said, and put on the same shitty British accent you’d been using for the past five minutes you’d been talking to this guy.
“Yeah, yeah, totally,” You agree, clearing your throat before asking, “You know where the others are stationed?”
“You don’t?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you suspiciously.
“Mate, all the orders I was given went in one ear and out the other,” You sigh, holding back a wince at your desperate attempt to sound more natural using British slang, “I just know I’ve got to stand out here and shoot the enemy.”
The enemy eyes you suspiciously and he takes a moment to try and read your face before he says, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before, actually. Which would be weird, if we’re in the same platoon, don’t you—”
You sigh and quickly pull out the small switchblade you had hanging on your belt, stabbing the enemy in the neck before he can say anything else and grabbing him before he can drop to the ground, putting a hand behind his back as you half lead half drag him into a dark alleyway beside the building he was stationed outside of.
You quickly set him down into a sitting position and take your knife out of his throat, tucking the blade back into the handle before adjusting it to latch onto your belt once again, letting out a frustrated huff as you stare at the now dead man in front of you.
“[c/n], how copy?” Price’s voice crackles through on your ear piece.
You push in the PTT button and lower your voice, “Copy, I fucked up a little bit. One of the guys was onto me.”
“You were there for five bloody minutes,” Gaz’s voice rings through, his tone both disbelieving and amused, “How’d he already catch onto you?”
“The British are smarter than I thought,” You breathe out, standing up and looking around for a ladder to climb to get to higher ground before anyone spots you. You go farther into the alley and find an old, rusty ladder with rungs that look like they’d snap if someone sneezed on them too hard—perfect for climbing up.
You wrinkle your nose as your hand makes contact with one of the rungs but don’t say anything otherwise, instead wordlessly hauling yourself up onto the ladder.
“Reminder that there’s three British people with you, currently,” Ghost’s deadpan tone crackles, his breathing heavy, as you can tell he’s whispering into his mic, “All of which are very smart.”
“I caught you reading the instructions on a box of tea bags the other day, don’t fuckin’ talk right now,” You grumble, slowly climbing up the ladder, hating the creaking noises it makes as you do. It sounds like it’s going to snap at any minute, and you try to go up as fast as you can, but one wrong move and you’ll easily slip, some of the rust that flakes off of the ladder enough to make you slip up.
“They were circles,” Ghost says, exasperated, “I didn’t know if that made a difference.”
“I thought British people were supposed to know everything about tea,” You roll your eyes, putting your hand on the next rusty rung up on the ladder.
“Yeah, L.t,” Soap agrees with you teasingly, the wind hitting his mic, making it obvious that he’s running, “Thought ye Brits were s’possed to ken everything ‘bout tea.”
You laugh quietly to yourself as you finally make it to the top of the building, the top just high enough for you to look at the few soldiers below and hear a majority of their conversations without them noticing you.
You get to the edge of the rooftop and pull the sniper rifle you’d been carrying around off of your back, glad to finally be back in your element rather than trying to get in undercover, and set it up.
You pull the stand out and set it on the edge of the roof, and look through the scope of the rifle, lining it up so that it’s aiming directly at one of the soldier’s heads, specifically the one that was standing directly out of the entrance you originally were meant to try and get into—but doing this didn’t change much.
Regardless of if you got in or not, he would’ve died, and the others would’ve gotten in too. You getting in first was just meant to make it more efficient.
You press down on the PTT button on your earpiece as you look through the scope of your sniper rifle, keeping the aim on the soldier in front of the entrance, “The guy in front of the entrance is just standing still, so whenever you need me to, I can shoot ‘im down.”
“I don’t think we need to get in just yet,” Price hums, “But maybe in a minute.” “M’kay,” You hum, taking your eye away from the scope, instead just looking over at the enemy soldiers. You lay on your stomach, leaning your head down a bit to try and listen in on the enemy’s conversations easier, trying your best not to make yourself too obvious.
The conversations were pretty boring and almost the same for every soldier you’d eavesdropped on, for the most part. Enemy soldiers joking around, talking about what they’ll do once they’re on leave—like they would be able to do that after you completed your assignment—and just some general team camaraderie.
The lackluster subjects of their conversations weren’t bad at all, no, in fact, you could care less what they talk about.
It was their stupid accents you hated.
Are you surrounded by British people everyday? Yes. Does that stop you from hating on the British everyday? No. Okay, maybe the accents aren’t stupid, but God, they had the thickest cockney accents you’d heard in your entire life, and it was making your eavesdropping so much harder, and had almost been the reason you were given away earlier.
They used slang words that you’re certain you’ve never heard before in your life, and used analogies that didn’t even make sense—you heard one of them use the words, verbatim, ‘Don’t get stroppy’. Stroppy? Stroppy?
You narrow your eyes down at the soldiers below you, listening to a conversation they’d just started up.
“—eah, ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do anything about it, so now we have to camp out here and wait for somethin’ to happen,” One of the soldiers scoffs, “I’m telling you, man, if I see that skull-masked bloke runnin’ ‘round out here, I’m legging it from ‘im immediately.”
You draw your eyebrows together in confusion, but you stay silent for now. Isn’t that exactly what the other soldier said? Are they like a hive mind or something?
“You’re legging it?” The other soldier asked, sounding almost incredulous, “What happened to you chattin’ to some of the others about your loyalty and what not?” “All that’s irrelevant when the fuckin’ grim reaper rolls around and starts murkin’ people like he’s been doing for the entirety we’ve been here, mate,” The first soldier laughs, “You think I wanna be here when he does that?”
“Don’t act like a prat about it, man—fuckin’ talking’ like you can outrun him.” “A prat? I’m not—” You tune out the rest of their argument and instead try and figure out what they were saying.
A prat? Legging it? Can’t be arsed? What the fuck? You push the PTT button on your earpiece and as quietly as you can, you ask, “I need some help. Serious help. Life or death situation.” Immediately, Price’s voice rings through, “What? What is it? What happened?” “The soldiers are British and I can’t tell what they’re saying,” You answer, ignoring Price’s relieved sigh on his end, “I need help.” “Jesus, fuck, don’t scare me like that,” Price sighs, taking a few breaths before continuing, “Alright, what do you need help with?”
“Figuring out what they’re saying.” This time, you hear Gaz’s voice crackle through, “Well, you’ve got three British people here—tell us what he’s saying.”
“One of the guys was talking about ‘legging it’ if he saw Ghost heading towards him, and talked about Ghost ‘murking’ people, and then the other guy he was talking to told him he was being a ‘prat’ about it and he got all offended,” You eloquently say into the earpiece, watching as the argument gets a little more heated. You can hear an amused huff from Ghost on his end and a scoff from Soap in return.
“They’re just saying they’re gonna run away if they see Ghost because he’s been killing a lot of their soldiers, and the other guy said he was being a prat, which I guess is like…” Gaz pauses to think of how to explain the slang term before settling on, “Someone who’s kind of full of themselves, I guess. Or ignorant. Either or.”
“They couldn’t just say that?” You muse quietly, still staring down at the enemy soldiers.
“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” Price’s voice cuts through, “Go ahead and shoot the guy down. I’m ready to head in.”
“Got it,” You hum, quickly putting your eye back up to your scope and readjusting it a bit before quietly warning, “Shooting him now.”
You pull the trigger and the enemy goes down immediately, and through your scope you can see the small twitching of his body as the other soldier starts to freak out.
You quickly aim the gun at his still-alive friend and shoot him down as well, silently congratulating yourself on your good aim and continuing to look through the scope, watching as Price runs in with Gaz and a few other soldiers.
They struggle with the door for a moment and you sigh before pressing in the PTT button on your earpiece and quietly saying, “Price, Gaz, move away from the door for a sec.”
Wordlessly, they do as they’re told, and you take the opportunity to line up the gun’s aim with the complex electronic panel on the outside of the door and pull the trigger, shooting the most crucial part of the panel, causing it’s functions to disrupt and as a result, the doors open.
“Thanks for that,” Gaz breathes out as Price kicks open the door, his voice cut off a bit at the end as he takes his hand off the PTT button too quickly in order to follow after Price.
“Uh huh. Of course,” You say offhandedly, taking your eye away from the scope of your sniper rifle and listening to the loud sirens go off in the facility the others break into, and push yourself up so that you can sit up straight to properly watch it. You grunt as you sit up, stretching your arms out for a moment before letting them fall into your lap.
“Are they in?” Soap asks, curious, his voice a little strained and breathy. There’s no loud gusts of wind coming through his mic anymore, and you look around for a moment, before your eyes catch on to him climbing up a ladder to get to the rooftop adjacent to yours.
Your lips twitch into a smile at the sight of him completely clueless to your presence and you press your PTT button to talk.
“Yeah, they’re in,” You say, watching as he finally gets to the rooftop, “Didn’t you hear the sirens?”
You can see Soap’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion for a moment, and he looks around for a moment before finally seeing you on the rooftop directly next to his, and he looks surprised for a moment before a grin splits across his face. You see him press the PTT button on his mic as well.
“I did, yeah, just wanted tae be sure,” He says into his mic, looking right at you as he does, “It’s a surprise seeing you here.”
“Imagine how I feel,” You muse, almost to yourself, before looking away from Soap and speaking up, “Ghost, you don’t wanna join us on the rooftops?”
“Absolutely not,” He replies almost immediately, making you huff out a small laugh and Soap’s grin grow, “I’m perfectly fine on the ground.”
“Where are you?” You ask, scanning the area around you for Ghost, “I feel like I haven’t seen you this whole time.”
“I’m just behind the facility,” Ghost hums, voice still a low whisper, “I’m gonna be heading in once Gaz and Price make it to the second floor to clean up the first, in case there’s anyone left.”
“You’ve been behind the facility this whole time?” Soap’s voice cuts through, surprised by the fact.
“Mhm,” Ghost hums.
“It’s a bit boring back there, innit?” Gaz’s voice crackles through, his voice a little breathy, “You can sweep the first floor, by the way. Should be nobody left, though. Pretty sure all the soldiers were just faffing around, not doing much.”
“Fucking faffing around?” You ask incredulously to yourself, though apparently your voice is loud enough to make Soap chuckle.
As if he can read your mind, Price’s voice comes through, “Faffing around is just doing nothing or doing nothing particularly productive, [c/n].”
You sigh and push your PTT button this time, talking into your mic, “You couldn’t just say that, Gaz? You had to say something silly like faffing around?”
“It’s not silly,” Gaz says, his frown audible, “They were faffing around.”
“Jesus, fuck,” You breathe out, laughing lightly, “It’s totally silly.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yeah it is.”
“No it’s—”
“I just want one day where you two don’t start up stupid arguments like this,” Price’s tired sigh comes through, “Just one day, I beg of you both.”
“Aw, Captain, we were just faffing around,” You whine playfully, the misuse of the slang making Soap cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter and you hear Ghost groan into his mic.
“That is absolutely not how you use that,” Gaz says, though you can hear some laughter in his voice—from your very non-British accent saying British phrases, you presume, a small grin gracing your lips at the thought.
“It sounded natural to me,” You lie straight through your teeth, shrugging even though only Soap can see you.
“You’re insufferable,” Gaz groans, making you laugh quietly, “Never use British slang again, please.”
“What if I get a British accent? Will that fix it?”
“Nothing can fix what you’ve said today, [c/n].”
“Well that’s dramatic,” You scoff, “I’ll learn British just for you guys.”
“Holy shit, please stop talking,” Price’s exasperated voice interrupts the both of you, “You’re both insufferable. Drop it.”
“… I don’t think I will,” You say defiantly, making all three British people in the same voice channel as you groan in unison, the sound sounding like some sort of middle school choir trying to sing in harmony, “I’ll use Duolingo or something to learn it.”
“British isn’t a language you learn, you muppet,” Price grumbles, making you snort.
“Muppet?”
“It’s someone who’s dumb and clueless and can’t take a hint, like you,” Ghost defines, “And Soap, most of the time.”
“Daen’t go draggin’ mae into this,” Soap’s voice quickly cuts through, “I haven’t said onything.”
“Uh, yes you absolutely did, earlier, remember?” Gaz argues, ignoring Price’s protests for him to stop arguing, “About Ghost being stupid with the tea thing?”
“Oh, I’ll have you all know—”
“Ghost, don’t start—”
You listen as the once casual, teasing conversation turns into an argument and chuckle quietly to yourself, knowing that they’d be arguing about this until you all finished your assignment.
#here we go again#cod#cod hcs#hcs#captain john price#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#task force 141#kyle gaz garrick#platonic taskforce141#task force 141 x reader#platonic task force 141#platonic#platonic task force 141 x reader#platonic cod#price#soap#ghost#gaz#tf141#its currently 1:28 as im tagging this#am#i just watched the thing for the first time like#two hours ago#lowkey terrified but we still up#it was so gross btw#still recommend watching it tho!!#anyway
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Man, I'm gonna be honest. I played the two partnered endings back to back to see the differences and I like the detective kuuno ending more than the one where we recruit kim! Its just much more fulfilling emotionally!!!!
Kim is overall very serious and composed about stuff and hes well respected by the other cops. When you get to keep your job and recruit him it DOES feel good!! Because it was smooth and really cool of him to defend you like that and you've gotten yourself a friend! a friend who truly trusts you and believes in you. Kim is the nicest and most patient man on planet earth.
But Cuno??? It's a different message. Cuno knows fuckall. Nobody there respects him and he doesnt have the measured responses and fancy words kim has, just pure utter PASSION. He almost cries of RAGE when people dont listen to him when you're trying to convince everybody about the Phasmid. Jean specifically is a cunt to Cuno and spaces out all the time and doesnt listen to anything he says ("you're hearing, but you're not listening"). Nobody believes him. Nobody takes him seriously. He's used to that, i bet.
During the islet section, Cuno is A LOT like Harry. having him around as your partner isnt like having kim at all. he doesnt help with cop stuff or adult stuff. rather, he says your lines for you. i just played the one with kim and CUNO SAYS WHAT YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU WERE WITH KIM. he has the same thought processes as You do. he asks questions just like you do. he acts a bit like you do. he makes comments you would sometimes. He literally says YOUR lines in his runs. and hes impulsive and a child, so he asks it willy nilly. you have to be the responsible one now, you need to hold him back if anything.
And then the way cuno literally BEGS the officers to let him join? to take him away from martinaise, to give him a better chance at life. Hell do anything, he promises to stop saying shit, he promises to behave. Just get him OUT of there. It feels like there are WAY more stakes, so the emotional payoff is MUCH higher
(If you like cuno of course. Which i do. theres a LOT to unpack regarding that boy.)
Like, seeing him EXCITEDLY skipping to the coupris kineema and opening the door to the other cops?? It feels good!!!! It feels really good! Like on top of everything you did, you also got to take this kid out of that shithole, to give him a chance.
You Must Understand.
Cuno mirrors Harry in MANY ways.
Nobody respects Harry, nobody respects cuno either. Harrys just some insane alcoholic, cunos just a delinquent kid. Neither are considered particularly trustworthy by the people who interact with them in daily life. HOWEVER. cuno has the spark and excitement harry lacks when harry lets him come along. he has hope. he wants to help, he wants to participate even if he doesn't quite know what he's doing. Why? Because if you got him in your party in the first place, it means he feels comfortable around you! For real, when you get that kid to respect YOU he REALLY starts trusting and looking up to you. He's ride or die. For hells sake he chooses HARRY over cunoesse! You don't belittle him and his interests like Cunoesse does! He gets to be unashamedly himself! Plus you're HIS pig. He already very much has a cop/detective fixation and during the entire time he's around harry he's absolutely PUMPED to be solving the crime with him and he's more than willing to help you out and give his two cents on the matter even if he doesn't really know anything about anything.
And so WHAT if he's just some kid? So what if he's POOR and doesn't have a camera to photograph the phasmid? He talks about harry a LOT more than kim does and with awe in his voice. He defends harry until the fucking end and he does NOT stop. He literally doesn't shut up. he just keeps fucking GOING. He blurts stuff out to defend you even if it's not helpful because he respects harry!!! truly respects him! he WANTS to help. he'll say stuff even if his words fail to convey properly what he means.
And then what?? You do the same for him. Well, youre giving me a chance right? Then take the kid along, he helped. He has nothing, his dad is a wasted dying drunkard (like me) and hes poor (like me). But he did good (i did too). He has potential (do do i). Hell behave (i'm trying to behave). Hell be a good detective (like me. he's just like me). PLEASE take him in (you're giving me a second chance, give him one too).
I Need you to understand. In my playthrough i got harry talking about how he feels like he had children at home when he's asked if he has a family. He feels like he has children, daughters. But alas. You're hit at the end of the game with Dora's 'i terminated our pregnancy because youre poor.' I get a feel that he WANTED to be a father. He wanted a family, but he was just So Fucking Mentally Ill about Everything it never came to be.
But honestly? He'd be an alright mentor figure. He clearly enjoys older kids, despite what he says about not being good with kids. He was a high school teacher! He's Clearly used to dealing with older kids and delinquents and he can talk to them like an equal, if he wants to, he can crack them too! He can be understanding.
And so what? Hell never have Dora's kids, but then he, harry (the drunken cunt) (the cunt everybody hates) (the fucking asshole), can be nice to this delinquent addict child a bunch of times (a foul mouthed jackass) (everybody Loathes that kid) (he doesnt know love) and then said kid starts following him like a lost puppy the moment harry needs company THE MOST. He accepts The Cuno. They have each other's back. They don't give up on each other. They want life to change for the better. Yknow???????
Cuno's ending hits muuuuch harder because of all that. Anyways. Yeah. rant over
#cuno#kuuno de ruyter#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium#i really really really like it when Father Figure in case you havent noticed. maybe its me projecting but???? its just how i feel about it#the ending i mean#i fucking LOVE CUNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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NSFW CONTENT! MINORS DONT INTERACT!!
Your teacher comes over to your desk, putting one hand on your shoulder.
“Stay after class today.”
Teacher! fav x Reader :3 (comic said change it to any character)
COMIC’S BIRTHDAY BASH HERE!!
You wait in your seat after class, watching everyone else pack up and leave. He goes over to the door, closing and locking it.
“Your grades have been.. low. Is anything wrong?” He questions as he comes over to your desk.
You say no. Well, you try to say no. You look at him staring into your soul with those eyes. He’s your teacher, you shouldn’t think like this!
He snaps his fingers in your face. When did he get so close? He leans down, he’s so close to your face.
“I think i know what the problem is..” he whispers to himself as he stands up. You don’t hear it.
“Is it me? Are you.. distracted by me?” He says.
You could barely count the number of no’s that left your lips. No. That’s a lie. He knows it. You know it. But maybe you can…
“Maybe i need to… teach you how to pay attention in class.”
“You can suck cock better than that, sweetheart.” He groans with a slight chuckle.
You never thought you’d be sucking your teachers cock. Well, you thought about it, but who thought it would actually happen?
With his eyes burning into your helpless state. Head bobbing on his cock as his hips meet your lips.
He stops you.
“What’s the answer to this?” He asks, coming out more like a demand than a question.
You hold your fingers up, ‘five.’
You see him smile and grab your hair, lifting your head off his cock.
“That was too easy for you. We both know you’re smarter than basic math, right?”
You nod shyly as you await his next set of words.
“Let’s give you a real challenge.”
Bent over his desk, he asks you once more.
“Write down the fucking answer.” He demands between thrusts.
You write the answer on the paper, sloppily, but it’s there and its right. He chuckles and stops all movements.
“Answer this question correctly. This is the last one.”
You nod as you whine.
“Are you going to pay attention from now on?” He asks.
You nod frantically, practically breaking your neck trying too.
“Words.” Is all he says before he starts pounding to you. Your words get caught in your throat as he fucks them out of you.
Shaking, moaning, dripping mess. You yell ‘yes’ just as he hits your cervix.
“Yes what? What are you saying yes for?” He chuckles as his thrusts get harder.
You angrily whine and try to mutter out a slur of words.
“I can’t hear you, sweetheart.”
Fuck, he’s driving you insane.
“Yes, i’ll pay attention in class from now on.”
You wish it came out like that. It came out shaky and full of desperate moans. You could barely comprehend your own sentence.
“I’ll let you off easy this time.” He whispers in your ear as he thrusts impossibly harder then before.
Moans, groans, and lewd slapping fill the classroom. What if someone came back to get something they forgot?
A student and a teacher, fucking right over his desk. What if somebody heard your loud moans through the door?
Those are the thoughts you would be having if you weren’t so fucked out right now.
When you both eventually cum he helps you put all your clothes that he ripped off on.
He helps you walk out of the school and into his car. Along the way, you ask him where you two are going.
“Private lessons, of course. I’ll call your parents and say you needed them.”
STR4WZ STICKY NOTE < guys ive been going crazy.. imagine crying while writing smut its a really good experience - STR4WKINZI anyways everything is going out in the next 4-3 days (hopefully) cuz im not busy :3 except school ofc BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS 3
#str4wkinzi#str4wkinzi smut#dom character#sub reader#genshin smut#COMIC’S BIRTHDAY BASH!#female reader#gender neutral reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x reader#genshin impact x you#genshin x reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyu smut#haikyuu smut#obey me smut#om! smut#teacher x student#genshin impact smut#character x reader#gi x you#jjk x gender neutral reader#jjk x female reader#genshin x female reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#haikyuu x female reader#character imagines#smut imagine
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alr so I know you said platonic bowers gang, so I have a idea, basically them w a reader who isn’t in their school — like they met reader at the arcade or smth and the gang drags them around to hang out; their all touchy w reader cause that’s pratically their baby now !!
though the gang doesn’t want reader to know of what their actually like (which are bullies) .. to protect them of course, but maybe reader ends up finding out through accidentally stumbling upon where the gang (henry) was trying to carve his name into bens stomach ? the gang sees and then runs after reader to try and explain … I’ll leave the ending up to you honestly.
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Let me explain…
THIS IS SO SMART I LOVE IT???
Yandere!platonic!Bowers gang x reader
Ft: Henry bowers, Patrick Hocksetter, Victor Criss, Belch Huggins, Ben (I forgot his last name), and our amazing, handsome, beautiful reader.
Tw: yandere stuff, possessive behavior, patrick, violence, remember this is yandere BOWERS GANG so bewareeeee!!
Y/N ran into the arcade excited to play, they were trying to beat there high score. They were so focused on getting there they weren’t aware of there surroundings and accidentally bumped into someone. Y/N muttered out a sorry but the person grabbed there wrist, “What the hell is wrong with you?” He said turning Y/N around to face him.
Y/N is meet face to face with Henry bowers, Y/N has heard about him but never really cared to look into it. He had an angered look on his face and Y/N quickly thought of a way to diffuse the situation. “Uh, im so sorry! I really didn’t mean to..” they said looking at the ground in shame.
Henry raised an eyebrow and let go of there wrist. “Oh. Its- Its fine.” He said, after he said that his eyes widened what did he just say? He wasn’t actually letting the kid off the hook? Really? That wasn’t like him at all! Something in him just felt bad for lashing out at the kid… he didn’t know why he felt this.
Y/N perked up and then smiled “Alright then! Well buh bye.” They said before scurrying off to find there favorite arcade game.
Belch put his hand on Henrys shoulder, “What the hell was that?” He asked his friend that was now staring in shock. “I dont even fucking know.” He said before getting himself together with a huff. “What a weird kid.” He said before turning back to his friends.
“We gonna do anything about em’? Ive never seen that twerp around here.” Patrick said crossing his arms. Victor then chimed in, “Yeah I mean im pretty sure we would know them if they were around here.” Henry groaned. “Can you all shut up? Why do we care about them?” Belch then looked at the kid that was far away from them playing an arcade game. “I dont know, they seem interesting.” Belch said. There was like something drawing him towards them, it was strange feeling of wanting to protect.
Y/N was to focused on there game to notice the four teenagers staring into the back of there head, poor child not knowing what was to come.
There fate was already sealed with the bowers gang.
Y/N had officially beat there high score, they smirked and exclaimed under there breath. “Yes!” They whispered to themselfs. They were feeling pretty hungry so they were going to ask there parents if they could go eat or something.
Y/N started walking to the exit but they tripped over something, they fell onto the floor but caught themselves with there hands. They gasped and turned to see what happened, they couldn’t have just tripped on air! They say a tall boy with black hair and a mischievous grin on his face.
“Heyyyy~ I ain’t seen you around here before, you new here?” He asked staring down at the kid, there were three other boys with him including the one boy they bumped into.
Y/N awkwardly rubbing the back of there neck embarrassed, “Im not new ive been here before…” they said before a boy with blonde platinum hair spoke up. “Oh, never seen you around school ether what school you go to?” He asked with genuine curiosity.
Y/N stood up brushing themselves off and fixing there ruffled clothes. “I uh go to [school name].” Then he spoke again. “Oh.” He said looking at the kid feeling some weird attachment to them.
“Well I must get going now, uh later?” They said before trying to walk away but the boy they bumped into earlier grabbed there wrist tightly. “Do you think you can just turn your back on us? Show some respect and look at us.” He said with a glare and the kid looked surprised at his hostility.
“Oh- im sorry?” They said unsure of what was going on, Patrick noticed they obviously had no idea who they were so they might as well have fun with it.
A bigger boy walked up to Y/N, “Dont worry about Henry, hes just being a bit of a dick right now.” He said nudging Henrys shoulder to tell him to knock it off not wanting Henry to scare the them away. “Im Belch, nice to meet you.” He said holding his hand out feigning innocence as if he wasn’t one of the local bullies.
Y/N chuckled nervously and took his hand shaking it before quickly re-tracing there hand. “Uh huh.” They said before the skinnier boy with platinum hair stepped forward. “Im Victor, and behind me is Patrick sorry if he didn’t make the best first impression.” He said glancing at his tall friend annoyed.
Y/N hummed nodding there head. “Its fine, totally not going to see him in my dreams tonight.” They said sarcastically making Patricks smirk grow.
“So uhm nice to meet you guys and ta tah now!” They said making an attempt to leave again before one of them would stop them, again.
Victor quickly blurted out a “Wait!” And stepped in front of them. “Hey, we just meet. It would be a shame if you left so soon.” He said as a grin pulled at his lips. “Okay is this what were doing?” They said before Patrick took there wrist and started dragging them with the group. “Were going to have a great time kid.” He said while poor Y/N just followed after them so confused of what they were getting themselves into.
These boys were strange, but Y/N couldn’t lie they had some fun hanging out with these reckless teenagers eventually getting comfortable with them but still having this gut feeling something was wrong so they pushed down away and continued hanging with the odd boys.
How naive you are Y/N.
Y/N was walking home from school, just skipping along listening to the birds chirp and feeling a sense of peace and freedom they haven’t felt in a while soon it was all interrupted by a screams that sounded to be a boy Y/N looked around to find out where the sound was coming from and immediately started running towards it trying to play hero.
They saw the four boys they were starting to call there friends surrounding a boy a tormenting him Y/N was to stunned to speak, they felt betrayed and stupid. They should have listened to there gut feeling, what was wrong with these boys!?
Victor out of the corner of his eye saw a familiar kid with H/C hair staring at the scene in shock and he immediately stopped what he was doing to look at them.
Patrick looked at Victors face and raised an eyebrow, he was annoyed that he stopped so he turned around to see what all the fuss was about and muttered “Shit.”
Belch looked at his friends and then saw Y/N, he let go of the kid he was holding down and hit Henrys shoulder.
Henry was pissed and turned around angrily to see the familiar face of Y/N, he froze and clenched his jaw.
Patrick started to approach them with a chuckle, “Dont be so surprised, everyone tried to tell you.” He said in an almost mocking tone taunting the kid for there stupidity of trusting them.
Y/N turned on there heel and started to run out of anger and sadness, they felt tears prick in there eyes at Patricks taunt. Why were they surprised?
Henry dropped his knife and took off after Y/N before any of the boys could think, he felt sweat start to drip down his forehead. Soon the other boys followed behind leaving the kid Ben to run for it.
Henry was able to catch up to Y/N quickly, he harshly turned them around and pushed them to the ground so they couldn’t start running again. This gave him a moment to catch his breathe, Victor then stepped forward speaking up. “Look, just let- let us explain.” He said putting his hands up in surrender.
“Explain? Explain what!? That you guys are horrible people? That you guys have lied to me? What is there to explain!” Y/N snapped not even making an effort to get up.
Victor winced and Patrick yawned, “I mean, I dont know what you were expecting kid. You were just to naive.” He said with a slight laugh, Belch punched his shoulder.
“Look Y/N we were just teasing! We weren’t actually going to hurt him.” Blech said trying to defuse the situation.
“Thats not teasing, Belch! Thats bullying!” They said getting up and glaring harshly at the boys.
“Its fun! Cmon Y/N, live a little.” Patrick said smirking, Henry then spoke up. “Y/N why do you even care about him? We didn’t even do anything to you!” Henry said getting up into there face. “You lied!” They said back, backing away from him.
“Yeah well, its not our fault your so naive and gullible.” He said harshly, ouch. Y/N raised there eyebrows. “What is wrong with you!” They raised there voice, Henry gripped there chin firmly. “What? What was that Y/N?” He said daring them to say it again.
Patrick watched this go on with satisfaction, they did need to be put in there place.
Belch didn’t stop Henry because he felt this was far, they needed to learn anyway.
Victor watched feeling justified, he felt hurt by there words so this was deserved in his eyes.
“Ever raise your voice at me, ever and there will be consequences, understood?” Henry said speaking to Y/N as if they were a kid who was in trouble.
Y/N, not wanting to upset Henry any further obeyed. “Understood Henry.” They said before Henry pushed them away. “Now, are you going to stop being a brat?” He asked crossing his arms, Y/N felt frustrated at this but who were they to defy him? “Yeah.” They said gulping down the anger they felt.
“Good.” Henry smiled satisfied with there answer.
“Your never getting away Y/N.”
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I hope you liked it! :33 i feel rly nervous about this onedibhuibhdj

#bowers gang#it movie#x reader#platonic#bowers gang x reader#yandere#platonic yandere#yandere bowers gang#platonic yandere bowers gang#henry bowers x reader#patrick hocksetter x reader#victor criss x reader#belch huggins x reader#yandere x reader#x teen reader#it x reader#it 2017
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hi friends! :D y'all voted and fought neck and neck for this SO- heres the first entry into our little cooking journey of J. R. R. Tolkeins fictional food for his fictional little guys he puts in fictional turmoils for our enjoyment and awe!
Before we get started i wanna say i owe my heart to all the LotR fans who upkeep the wiki, debate the cannon, and create their own versions of the foods mentioned. Both because of my love for people who LOVE (passionate people)(passion about anything) and because my own knowledge of this series is a little dusty. I've never seen the movies but I did read the books growing up. I'll be learning and remembering things from a fairly newbie standpoint, so no worries if you yourself arent familiar with the series! (and if you are familiar, hopefully youll forgive me!)
We will be making Lembas ('waybread') today! If you've made your own version of this please feel free to share it, similarly if you have any ideas for what we make next!
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to Lembas?” YOU MIGHT ASKWell so the funny thing is we kinda dont know. At least not entirely? The elves are dicks like that. But heres what we'll be using in ours-
Butter
Self-rising flour
Granulated Sugar
Raisins
A small dried fruit of your choosing
Almonds OR Pecans
EGG
Whole Milk
Heavy Cream
And if you would like for dipping-
Blackberry jam
To the extent i understand this is kinda like hardtack from the bri'ish military, but a fantastical version of it that actually tastes really good. Hardtack was a military provision with the texture of a brick that took a long time to spoil and could be easily carried with soldiers. So the texture we're going for is super dense, packed full with nuts and fruits (haha just lik-), but perhaps not that dense. We want something closer to a dog biscuit than actual tack.
I remembered something about corn being mentioned, thankfully the wiki clarified that no actually the british just referred to any grain as corn back in the day. Thank Fuck! Although I would like to try a version of this using masa in the future.
AND, “what does Lembas taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
Took a few tries but eventually got it perfectly chewy and dense
The raisins cook-in like little beads of flavortown sweetness
Cant speak for other fruits but for dried apple it softened up nicely, kinda matching the raisins in the end
Im a big pecan slut, pecans fuck on anything especially here. Crumble them on top after you coat the dough with the egg-mixture for some visual appeal
Somewhat flakey outside
The jam was my idea, it was nice but might be too sweet for some tastes
Would pair very well with a kiwi flavored drink
Or mead
I can see why this would a travelling provision. Its both sugary (a good thing when expending energy) and filling (also a good thing when youre travelling) while not being overwhelming with flavor (if youre prone to motion sickness. Horse sickness? Do get motion sickness on horses?)
Its like how if you're going hiking you want a good mix of sugars and salts, to balance your intake of water.
. If you wanna make it like the illustrations or the movie, use a cookie cutter for either triangles or squares . If you don't have a cookie cutter, an apple cutter also works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . try to keep the board you'll roll the dough out onto chilled before you use it, it seems better for the texture of the food though i dont entirely know why
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So from beginning to end, it took about an hour and half for the first attempt. Down to about 40 minutes for the second attempt. These are a real simple recipe because its not like a croissant where the margin for error is nonexistent. Middle-earth be damned my boy can work a grill.
I'd recommend storing in a tubberware container, but if you're deadset on using leaves please rinse and dry them first, and wrap the bread in either wax paper or saran wrap underneath. We dont have mallorn leaves in real life (as far as we know) but most salad greens should work, or as Marie Porter says (linked in the reblogs!) a banana leaf.
I really enjoyed the process of making this recipe, itd be really easy to batch-bake these en masse, and the process of eating said recipe. Like all jokes aside, i think this would be a great substitute for trailmix. Its not going to get smushed and even if it breaks a bit it wont affect the taste. It wont keep you fed for a whole day but pair it with some pickles or a salty snack and yeah itll keep your motor running.
I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Let me know if you think I got something wrong, or if you ran into issues with the recipe. We're off to a strong start, lads!
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
6 TBSP butter, chilled
2 cups self-rising flour
1 TBSP granulated sugar
½ cup raisins
½ other dried fruit (strawberry slices, oranges, etc.), chopped
Handful of almonds or pecans, chopped
1 egg, well beaten
½ cup whole milk
4 TBSP heavy cream
Method:
Preheat your oven to 400 f.
Cut the butter into slivers/small pieces. With your hands, combine the butter into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles coarse sand.
Chop your dried nuts and dried fruit until it feels right.
Mix in the sugar, raisins, nut, and dried fruit of your choosing
In a seperate bowl, beat the egg until combined, and then mix in the milk until combined. Keep a bit of this mixture to brush the tops of the bread.
Stir while adding the egg/milk mixture and the heavy cream into the flour. Mix just until combined into a soft dough.
Knead the dough until firm on a floured surface.
Roll into a half inch thickness and cut with a square or leaf shaped cookie cutter. (...or in my case, an apple corer).
Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, with about an inch of space between each piece. Brush the tops of the lembas with some of the mixture you saved earlier.
Bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until it turns a soft gold and the inside is chewy.
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