#now it's just dai and i have 2 achievements left for the keep itself

[zzencat]

How To Energetically Get The Most Out Of Your School/Work Life - ⏳

Since we’re getting into the groove of things…let’s gaur!!!! For entertainment purposes.

From left to right. Breathe and choose the one(s) you can't keep your eyes off of.

TO ENHANCE ACCURACY BEFORE CHOOSING: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.

Pile 1 | boomer mentality?

• change your ways. Bad habits, weak ways of thinking- sure, it’s uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. Success is uncomfortable (I’m pretty sure someone super famous said that once maybe someone should remind me- 🤔) . You’ll find that if you look at things from a new perspective, a new angle, it’ll be beneficial for you in the long run. Just like looking at stress in a good way- there are studies on it that show that if you look at stress in a more positive way and use it to your advantage, you could really stretch out your life and live longer than those who were pessimistic about it (lol fun fact for you)

if you let go of the old, your luck will change. embrace these new changes, beliefs, environments, and people.

don’t keep your time and resources to yourself. allow for self reflection and transformations to happen!

big focus: don’t let history repeat itself. it’s time for a change! let go and let in.

—————————

Pile 2 | feeling stuck or stagnant

• pile 2, you tend to overthink everything. You let your mind run its course. That ain’t good news. It prevents you from reaching new heights- prevents you from even starting on something, just because of fear or even roots of perfectionism. There’s a huge lack of motivation, confidence, and trust in yourself- so much that even when I was pulling your cards they were hesitant to come out. it feels like russian roulette but it’s firing on its own. some people here might tend to overreact/throw a tantrum as well or be immature in situations that need sensibility (in this case, ya gotta take this time to mature.)

• I feel this group has trouble with balance in general. Nothing wrong with that on occasion but if that’s your default setting and you’re stuck in your mind all day, wondering about this and that—just a crazy clash of thoughts and ideas—ruminating and running around in a vicious cycle full of mental bullshit then it’s gonna stop you. It’s gonna stop you from growth, from achieving things, from getting started, from living life normally. That’s the bare minimum, isn’t it? All we gotta do is breathe and when life makes it hard, the brain works harder. The mind is truly the most dangerous thing and you have to embrace it, marinate in it, and pick at it. find out where the balance is between intuition, logic, and emotion.

you might feel restricted and the need to break free, but what you also need is a breather to calm down and assess yourself before making decisions. rmr, deep breaths.

•Do your own research, form your own opinions, figure out who you are, how you operate, and what you want in life. That’s how you begin to build character. That’s how you can move forward, even if it’s little by little. (A more stable foundation comes outta that too.)

big focus: practice self control. when they say “lead with your head,” they really mean the control center of logic, intuition, and emotion…but who’s doing more of the controlling here, you or your mind?

——————————

Pile 3 | “how could I miss that?”

• What you need to focus on is slowing down. it’s easy to miss things when we’re busy or taking on a lot of responsibilities. give yourself some love and care—tend to those inner callings. It’s good for your mental health as well. Remember: mental becomes physical.

• put yourself first for once. Connect with yourself and loved ones- go on one of them self dates- Yessir those exist 😳

• pile 3, you are easily the most efficient and speedy group- cards were legit being shuffled like they were being handled like a pro- but you know the con of that? You miss all the moments you could’ve had with friends, lovers, family. Yourself. You get to miss all the details because things are going too fast pow pow pow one after the other until it piles up and then you end up beating yourself up for small and simple mistakes…calm down and adjust yourself. You will be okay.

• I’m telling you fam- TAKE BREAKS. Give yourself moments to relax and rejuvenate before you push yourself!! You put too much pressure on yourself as it is

• connect with your inner feminine energy when you have the time—you gotta MAKE that time for yourself

• don’t be so neglectful in your relationships btw! Romantic, platonic, familial, wtv- learn how to manage your time so that you can separate work and assignments with social relations. Keep that communication up!! This includes your inner and outer voice. Reflect and acknowledge how you feel.

big focus: be more open minded to making new connections! spend more time with others. you’ll find emotional happiness and fulfillment in it :)

————————————

Ending Teddy note:

Hello hollywood people 😎 it has been a long minute! thank you for taking the time to read through this—YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Always remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! I’ll cya fam ciao :)

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

the reason i cannot excuse the darkling’s crimes is because he has no loyalty to his people. sure, everything he did was to create a better, safer world for grisha, and he did a lot of good things for them, but how many grisha did he kill because they didn’t agree with his methods? how many innocent children did he sacrifice because they were pawns in his plan? how many otkazat’sya that also wanted a better world for grisha did he kill or try to kill because, at the end of the day, his goals were not to make the world safer for grisha, it was to make a world where grisha were the rulers of society and everyone else was left to suffer

Hey,

Thank you for your ask. You're entitled to your opinions and I'm truly not trying to change your perspective here. You liking the Darkling is your prerogative. However, many of your points here seem to be conflating with the modern, post WW era with established institutes and bodies of governance to keep the governments in check and it's not your fault for thinking that way. The book claims to be in a historic setting but it has serious modern tones that it throws off the readers.

So let me give a quick background before I jump in. First, the story is set based on 19th century feudal Russia with an absolute monarchy. An absolute monarchy means there are no checks and balances. The government is run based on the whims of the king. You can have the king's favor one day and the next day, he can very well order you to be thrown into the dungeon or order your beheading without a trial. Bloodlines matter; your position and your influence in court are the only things that can save you or allow you to do whatever good you wish to do. So alliances matter and anyone who is not your ally is your enemy and a threat. And a coup is the only way to go if you want a regime change.

Now let me paint a picture of the lives of Grisha from the books. In Demon in the woods, we learn that not just Fjerda and Shu Han but Ravka itself was not safe to the Grisha. So the Grisha were scattered and they had to live and learn their craft in hiding and had no one to advocate for them because they were killed on sight. Time jump to 500-700yrs in the future, the Grisha now have a place to call home, have food in their bellies and have a place to practise their gifts without being killed. Does that mean, they are free? Nope. They're essentially serfs and they have earn their keep by serving in the frontlines or serving in noble family homes. They're not real citizens and cannot own lands. The're still treated poorly by otkazatsyas who were quick to turn on them and kill them in their sleep or sham trials when the chance presented(book 2). Also with the advent of technology they might soon make them obsolete. So the deal Aleksander struck up with the Lanstovs to spare Grisha lives in exchange for servitude is on a timer.

With that out of the way, let me breakdown your accusations:

You claim that the Darkling was disloyal to his people and I disagree with it completely. He was nothing but loyal to his Grisha and he has proved it time and time again.

He started as a nobody in the Demon in the woods and ended up building a palace for the people who once were forced to live in caves and woods. You think that's an easy achievement for a man who was born not only without a noble bloodline(probably in 12th or 13th century) but was also a Shadow Summoner who even Grishas are weary of? You cannot dismiss that as a 'sure he did a lot of good things for Grisha.' because without him taking that initiation, there would have been no Grisha. They would have been hunted to extinction.

In Book 1, we see how the Grisha are well fed, protected in keftas, have better living conditions and supplies than otkazatsya because Aleksander, as a General of the Second Army made sure that his people are taken care of unlike the corrupt First Army Generals. Even through Alina's POV we see how his soldiers love and respect him.

In Book 2, the Darkling survived but so did Ivan and a few others. He did not create the shadow monsters to protect himself alone, did he? He did not abandon his people, he took them to safety. Is that not a sign of loyalty?

In Book 3, he literally uses merzost over and over again, so he could spare the Grisha lives being killed in frontlines. Is that not a sign of loyalty?

You said 'how many Grisha did he kill because they didn't agree with his methods?' And how many people did he kill? Did he go around on a killing spree because he woke up with a crimp in his neck? Or did he used the Cut on his people because his tea was tepid?

This is again a talking point I often see amongst Anti-darkling. You take a canon event of him punishing the Grisha who chose Alina and talk about it as if that's how he normally treats all his opposers when there is no proof of it happening outside of the event. And I see this happening only to the Darkling. None of you anti-darkling folks seem to call Nikolai a rape-apologist although canonically that is who he truly is. Weird how double standards work eh?🙄

Anyhow, coming back, how do you think defectors are treated in military? A google search will show you even today defectors and deserters are killed in leiu of punishment across all the world armies without exceptions. Not just the defectors, even those who harbour them are punished. That's how war time crimes are treated. The Grisha who chose Alina forfeited his protection when they chose sides and cannot expect his loyalty afterwards. Loyalty is a two-way street.

Next you claim he killed innocent children as his pawn. Again where is the proof? When did he kill children? He took the grishenka and hid them elsewhere to deceive Alina. He never harmed them.

If you're meaning it in the context of him 'taking' Grisha children from their 'parents' as morally wrong then you must not understand the concept of x-men or why Charles Xavier uses cerebro to find mutant children.

Or if you're thinking of Genya and treating it as a standard for all then I suggest you read my other post.

You also claim he killed otkazatsya who wanted a better world. Again, where.is.the.proof? You're taking the grishaverse and treating it through the modern lens of oppression and allyship. The 19th century people were not well-read or educated. The majority of the people clung to religion and believed whatever was taught to them by their priests. Alina herself believed that the Darklings were born without souls. That's how common ignorance was. Even the final climax of Zoya destroying the Fjerdans and getting accepted by all people was not done as an acknowledgement of the Grisha genocide. The acceptance happened because they otkazatsya started believing in saints. So whatever allyship you're imagining never existed in the first place.

And your final claim was that the Darkling wanted a world where Grisha were rulers. I'm not gonna lie, I actually laughed out loud reading it. You've never read the books, have you? The fifth chapter of book 1 itself refutes your claim and gives you the answers you seek. And if he truly thought so less of otkazatsya why was his oprichniki only consisting of them? It was the oprichniki who stood with him through thick and thin and bravely fought off the palace guards when they attacked the Little palace, ensuring that the Grisha had a chance to escape.

If you're going to believe the anti-darkling rhetoric then I suggest you atleast do it after reading the books ( s&b, s&s, r&r, the Tailor and the demon in the woods). I also suggest you to read historic accounts on how 19th century was and why coup was the only solution Aleksander had. The anti-darkling crowd is an echo chamber and they do nothing but scream about how the Darkling should have done better without truly understanding the books or history of the oppression of marginalized communities. So if you're going to continue there, I hope you're intellectually equipped to see through their trauma dump and form your own opinions.

[m-says-hi]

Hello!

I have more sampo thoughts! Surprisingly, not about the recent event but an old event. Or not even the event itself, but something from after it

The memory bubble you get after Aetherium Wars.

Couple of things about memory bubbles before I bring up Sampo or this particular bubble’s contents. After some (admittedly brief) research on bubbles, I’ve learned they’re created by Memokeepers to preserve memories and are usually stolen from the original memory holder. In the game there are 21 memory bubbles. 20 of them belong to Herta and can be found around the Space Station. The last one is the one from after Aetherium Wars and is found on Jarilo VI.

I haven’t interacted with any of the memory bubbles myself, but I have read through all the dialogue and descriptions on the wiki. The 20 belonging to Herta all seem to put you in the pov of the memory holder. It tells it more like a story, kinda similar to Simulated Universe?

But the Aetherium Wars Bubbles only gives dialogue (very similar to Sampo’s character stories) making us more like an observer and not part of the memory. Unless we’re watching the memory of someone who was watching the conversation, but I feel like there’d be more description of the setting if that were the case.

I could go on about the content of the conversation, but I think we’ve all read through it multiple times. What really caught my attention was the beginning and end dialogue of the bubble.

(taken from the wiki. I haven’t done aetherium wars yet ;-;)

Four things stick out to me right away:

The game/The trailblazer’s thoughts notes this feels different

As I mentioned before, there is no description of the scenery showing up before you, but just two figures. My guess as to why is that this bubble wasn’t created by a stolen memory, but was made by the memory holder (or at least the memory holder was involved in the process). The memory holder being Sampo

2. There’s an implication that this bubble was left on purpose

This only adds to the point above. There’s a strong implication that Sampo left this for the Trailblazer to find. You also get an achievement for finding this bubble called Confessions of the Mask which. That kinda says it all.

But now I have two questions, the first being how? It's not said explicitly, but in a conversation with Herta it's implied that Memory Bubbles are only made by Memokeepers. So, if this was left by Sampo, either he got a memokeeper to help him (extremely possible) or he has the power to do it himself (extremely interesting)

My second question is why? 

Why would he tell us? Why is he telling us in this indirect way? My guess is it has something to do with his mask. The conversation in the bubble mentions Penacony and Sparkle. So,this was probably around the time Sampo started planning to go to Penacony to get his mask. I discussed this with a friend, and she suggested it might even be some sort of warning, which is why it’s done with a memory bubble. 

That sort of reminds me of the recent event, where Sampo spills a lot about the Fools and the Tavern, information that you would only really know as a Fool, but said it in a way that implied he wasn’t a fool. That he heard it from somewhere else, someone else, not that he knew it first hand. I wonder if his mask is sort of.. Making him unstable? (He grew increasingly dark every day) And the 7 day event was another warning. Warning of who he might become when the mask fully takes hold and a warning to not become like him

3. The game/the Trailblazer’s thought recognizes that there are multiple mysterious things about Sampo

Maybe this isn’t as important as I’m making it out to be. After all, we all know something is very Off about Sampo. But the Trailblazer recognizing it feels significant to me. It feels like further confirmation that eventually we will unravel these mysteries. Eventually.

4. “When talking to one who wears a mask, always keep your wits about you.”

This. THIS. This statement has been driving me mad since I first saw it. When I read those words I immediately thought of the translated statement from Topaz’s trailer:

“One who is unaccountably solicitous is hiding evil intentions”

(if you have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s one of my first posts)

The statements are not the same. But they feel so strongly similar, like they go hand in hand. Both are warnings. Both tell you to be careful about people who are not how they appear, people with masks and people who are falsely sincere. Both are talking about Sampo. Looking into this made me realize just how many times we've been warned about Sampo. Half of those times being Sampo himself

Something about it just makes my brain light up with possibilities and I feel like I keep pushing the statements together waiting for something to make sense and explain everything else, but I’ve yet to figure it out. So I’m left here just kind of going insane

But that’s all I have for now! Maybe someone else will have something

[x-dark-whimsy-x]

The Sundered Soul, Chapter 2

The Sundered Soul Chapter 2: The Sorcerer's Gambit

Dawn came too soon and not soon enough. Arthur hadn't slept - couldn't, with Merlin sitting motionless across from him like a beautiful statue carved from grief. Every time he'd tried to close his eyes, he'd found himself cataloguing the differences: the way Merlin's chest rose and fell with mechanical precision rather than the slightly irregular rhythm Arthur had grown accustomed to hearing in the quiet moments. The absolute stillness where there should have been restless energy, small movements, the unconscious habit of touching his neckerchief or running fingers through his hair.

He'd tried ordering him to sleep, desperate for even the illusion of normalcy, but Merlin had simply lain down on the bearskin rug before the fire and closed his eyes, mimicking rest without achieving it. The pretense had somehow been worse than the truth.

"Do you actually need sleep?" Arthur asked as pale light crept through the windows, painting the stone walls the color of old parchment.

"No," Merlin replied from where he lay.

Arthur's jaw tightened with familiar frustration - though this time it carried an undertone of grief that made his chest ache. "Then get up. Stop pretending."

Merlin rose smoothly, returning to his chair by the now-cold fireplace. No stretch, no yawn, no muttered complaint about uncomfortable beds or early mornings. Just seamless transition from horizontal to vertical, as if sleep were merely another unnecessary human affectation he'd discarded along with his soul.

Arthur rubbed his face, feeling every sleepless hour in the grit behind his eyelids and the weight in his bones. His reflection in the window showed a man aging years in days - hollow-eyed, stubbled, carrying invisible weights that threatened to crush him.

His gaze fell to the table where the stone had rested through the night, its golden light pulsing steadily like a trapped heartbeat. Arthur picked it up, the leather cord rough between his fingers, and moved to place it around his neck as he had the day before. But he hesitated, staring at the exposed stone.

Something about having Merlin's soul so vulnerable, so visible to anyone who looked, felt deeply wrong. The stone deserved better protection than a simple cord that left it bare to the world's eyes.

"Merlin," he said quietly, turning to face the motionless figure by the fireplace. "Is there a way to keep this hidden? Protected, while I carry it?"

For a moment, Merlin didn't respond, those empty golden eyes fixed on some invisible distance. Then he tilted his head slightly, as if considering.

"Yes," he said simply, and his eyes flooded gold.

Arthur felt the leather cord in his hands grow warm, the rough material shifting and transforming. The crude leather became a delicate chain that looked like silver but felt stronger than steel, its links so fine they seemed almost ethereal. The stone itself became encased in an elegant locket, its surface smooth and unremarkable—beautiful in its simplicity, but giving no hint of the precious light contained within.

"Only you can open it," Merlin said, his voice carrying that emotionless precision. "It will respond to your touch alone."

Arthur tested it, running his thumb over the locket's surface. At his touch, it opened with a soft click, revealing the stone's golden glow before closing again at his will. Perfect. Safe.

He fastened the chain around his neck, feeling the weight of the locket settle against his chest, hidden beneath his shirt. Close to his heart where it belonged—protected, cherished, but secret.

"Thank you," he said softly, though he wasn't sure if Merlin understood why the gesture mattered so much.

A knock interrupted his brooding. "Enter."

Gaius shuffled in, looking as exhausted as Arthur felt. Dark circles shadowed his eyes, and his usually immaculate robes were wrinkled from a night spent hunched over ancient texts. His gaze went immediately to Merlin, hope flickering and dying in the space of a breath like a candle guttering in wind.

"No change?" The question came out rougher than intended, laden with the desperation Arthur was trying so hard to hide.

"He protected Camelot from seven sorcerers yesterday," Arthur said, unable to keep the bitter edge from his voice. "Defeated them without breaking a sweat. So I suppose that's... something."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Arthur stood abruptly, pacing to the window to escape the old physician's knowing eyes. Below, the courtyard was coming alive with the bustle of morning - servants hurrying about their duties, guards changing shifts, the normal rhythm of life that felt surreal in the face of everything that had changed. "What did you find?"

"References, hints, stories." Gaius set a stack of books on the table with a soft thud that seemed to echo with finality. "The Stone of Souls appears throughout history, always bringing tragedy. In every case, the victim's body collapses the moment their soul is stolen - they become like the living dead, unable to move, eat, or care for themselves." He opened the topmost tome, its pages yellow with age. "There was a merchant in the southern provinces who had his soul stolen by a rival. His family kept his body alive for three days, feeding him water drop by drop, but on the fourth day..." Gaius's voice trailed off meaningfully.

Arthur's blood chilled. "He died."

"And his soul remained trapped in the stone forever. Never moving on to Avalon, never finding peace." Gaius's fingers trembled slightly as he turned pages. "That's what makes these artifacts so evil - they don't just steal life, they steal eternity itself."

Arthur didn’t like what this implied, the horror of it plucking at him with icy fingers. “Explain,” he ordered.

"Well,” said Gaius, “every account differs. Most victims die within days - their bodies simply shut down without their souls to animate them. But there are stories of desperate families keeping soulless bodies alive through constant care, feeding them, moving their limbs, keeping them breathing." Gaius's voice was heavy with sorrow. "None lasted more than a fortnight before the flesh gave out."

Arthur's hands clenched. The thought of Merlin's body simply... stopping, leaving his bright soul trapped forever in that black stone prison, was unbearable. "How do we break it?"

"That's the difficulty. Breaking the stone while someone's soul is inside risks destroying the soul entirely. And even if we free it..." Gaius hesitated. "The accounts suggest that souls freed from captivity sometimes choose not to return. After experiencing separation from mortal concerns, they might choose to move on to Avalon rather than re-enter flesh."

Arthur felt that icy horror grip his heart. “So you’re saying…"

Gaius nodded grimly. "Without his soul, Merlin's body should have collapsed the moment the stone took hold. The only reason he's still standing, still moving, is because his magic has one overriding purpose - protecting you. It's animating his flesh like a puppet, but..." He shuddered. "That's not life, Sire. And if his magic fails, or if the strain becomes too much, his body will die. And if his body dies while his soul is trapped..."

"He'll be lost forever," Arthur finished, the words tasting like poison.

"Never able to move on to Avalon. Trapped in that stone for eternity." Gaius's voice carried the weight of absolute certainty. "That's why these artifacts are considered among the darkest magic ever created."

Another knock, urgent this time, cut through the tension. "Sire! The council requests your immediate presence!"

Arthur cursed under his breath. The realm wouldn't pause for his personal crisis, no matter how earth-shattering it felt. Every moment spent in meetings was a moment stolen from finding a way to save Merlin. "Merlin, help me get ready. Gaius, keep researching."

The council chamber was in uproar when he entered, voices raised in argument, faces flushed with indignation. Lord Cynric was on his feet, his face purple with rage, while Geoffrey tried unsuccessfully to restore order.

" - magic in the very heart of Camelot! The prince himself consorting with sorcerers!"

"Enough," Arthur commanded, letting royal authority ring in his voice as he took his place at the head of the table. Merlin positioned himself along the wall, unobtrusive but present - a constant reminder to Arthur of what they'd lost and what they stood to lose further.

"Your Highness," Cynric continued, his voice trembling with barely contained fury. "The entire city speaks of what occurred yesterday. Your... servant revealed as a sorcerer, wielding magic openly!" He spat the words like curses, his disgust palpable.

"To defend Camelot," Arthur said evenly, though his jaw was tight with suppressed anger. How dare this man speak of Merlin like he was some common criminal when he'd risked everything to protect them all? "Or did you miss the part where seven hostile sorcerers attacked us?"

"One evil fighting another - "

"Choose your next words carefully, Lord Cynric." Arthur's voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, the tone he'd learned from his father - the one that reminded listeners they were speaking to someone who held their lives in his hands. "Merlin has served Camelot faithfully for years. His actions yesterday saved lives."

"His very existence breaks your father's laws!"

The words hung in the air like a blade. Arthur felt the weight of every eye in the room, the tension of a kingdom balanced on the edge of change. His father's laws. His father's hatred. His father's legacy of fear and suspicion that had driven his own daughter to rebellion and madness.

"My father is indisposed," Arthur reminded him coldly, each word carefully chosen. "I rule as regent, and I say Merlin has committed no crime worthy of punishment."

"The law is clear - "

"The law will be reviewed." Arthur stood, the scrape of his chair loud in the sudden silence. "Times change, Lord Cynric. We've hidden behind fear too long. Yesterday proved that magic itself isn't evil - intent matters."

"You speak heresy!" Cynric's voice cracked with outrage.

"I speak sense." Arthur looked around the table, meeting each councilor's eyes in turn, daring them to contradict him. "How many of you have benefited from Merlin's protection without knowing it? How many times has he saved this kingdom while we remained ignorant?" His voice rose with conviction. "I won't execute a hero to satisfy outdated prejudices."

"The people won't stand for it," another councilor ventured, his voice careful, testing.

Arthur's smile was sharp as a blade. "Then I'll convince them otherwise." His tone brooked no argument. "Merlin remains under my protection. Any who move against him move against me. Is that understood?"

Reluctant agreement rippled through the chamber like water through disturbed sand. Only Cynric remained defiant, his face a mask of barely contained fury.

"You'll doom us all," he spat, his voice thick with venom. "Mark my words - "

"You are in danger, Sire," Merlin said suddenly, stepping forward to stand at Arthur's side with fluid grace that would have been beautiful if there had been any life behind it.

The council fell silent as if a spell had been cast, all eyes turning to the motionless servant. Arthur felt his heart skip - it was the second time since losing his soul that Merlin had spoken without being directly addressed, and again, it was to warn of danger.

"Explain," Arthur ordered, though his pulse was racing.

"Lord Cynric bears a concealed blade coated with poison. He bears malicious intent toward you." The words were delivered in that same hollow, emotionless tone, but they hit the chamber like a thunderclap.

Cynric went white as parchment. "That's... how dare you!"

"Sir Leon," Arthur said calmly, though fury was building in his chest like storm clouds. The idea that someone would try to murder him here, in his own council chamber, while he was fighting to save the man who'd given everything to protect Camelot... "Search him."

Leon moved forward with grim efficiency. Cynric tried to run but found himself frozen in place, invisible force holding him as surely as iron chains. Merlin's eyes glowed gold, terrible and beautiful.

The search revealed a thin stiletto, its blade gleaming with oily residue that caught the light like poison given form.

"Hemlock extract," Leon reported grimly, his voice tight with suppressed anger. "A scratch would kill within minutes."

Arthur stared at Cynric, letting the man see the cold rage in his eyes. The betrayal cut deep - not just the attempt on his life, but the timing of it. While Arthur was fighting to save the very person who'd protected them all, this man had been planning murder. "You would kill me and throw Camelot into chaos for this?"

"Better Camelot burn than fall to magic!" Cynric snarled, spittle flying from his lips. "Your father understood! He knew the threat - "

"My father's hatred drove his daughter to madness and rebellion," Arthur cut him off, his voice ringing with conviction born of painful truth. "His fear nearly destroyed everything he sought to protect. I won't repeat his mistakes."

He nodded to Leon. "Take him to the dungeons. Gently - I want him alive to question."

As guards removed the struggling lord, Arthur addressed the remaining council. His voice was steady now, controlled, but there was steel beneath the silk. "Anyone else harboring murderous intent? Now's your chance to confess."

Silence stretched like a held breath.

"Good. Then let's discuss the real issue - how to protect Camelot from those who would use recent events against us."

The meeting continued for hours, each moment feeling stolen from more urgent concerns. They discussed patrol schedules and border defenses, grain stores and trade agreements - all the mundane details that kept a kingdom functioning while Arthur's mind screamed that none of it mattered if he couldn't save Merlin.

Through it all, Merlin stood silent against the wall, watching. Once, when Lord Geoffrey stumbled over words, obviously exhausted from the stress of recent events, Merlin stepped forward unbidden to steady him. The old scholar flinched but then nodded gratefully.

Arthur felt something ease in his chest. Surely that wasn't the action of raw magic alone. Perhaps something of Merlin remained after all, buried beneath the emptiness.

When the council finally dispersed, Arthur found himself alone with Geoffrey, who lingered by the great map like a man reluctant to leave.

"Your Highness," the old man began carefully, his voice soft with age and wisdom. "About your servant..."

"Don't start," Arthur warned, exhaustion making him sharp.

"I wasn't going to counsel execution." Geoffrey's eyes were kind but knowing. "I've served three kings, watched this kingdom grow and change. Perhaps it's time for the laws to change as well."

Arthur turned to face him fully. "You believe that?"

"I believe in you, Sire. And if you say this boy - Emrys, whatever he is - serves Camelot's interests, then I trust your judgment." He paused, his expression growing distant with memory. "Your father would rage, but your father also loved Morgana until his hatred of magic poisoned that love. Don't let the same happen to you."

The words hit closer than Geoffrey probably intended, carrying implications Arthur wasn't ready to examine. He managed a nod, throat tight with unspoken gratitude, and the old scholar took his leave.

"You protected Geoffrey," Arthur said to Merlin once they were alone, studying his friend's impassive face.

"Preventing harm to Camelot's advisors serves your interests," Merlin replied, the words mechanical but the action... the action had been instinctive. Human.

"Is that all?" Arthur pressed, hope fluttering in his chest like a caged bird.

Merlin tilted his head slightly, the gesture so familiar it hurt. "I don't understand the question."

Arthur sighed, the sound carrying the weight of all his fears. Every glimpse of the real Merlin made his absence hurt more, like pressing on a bruise to confirm it was still there.

They were interrupted by Lancelot appearing in the doorway, his expression carefully neutral. "Sire, one of the captured sorcerers is awake and asking to speak with you. He says he has information he's willing to share."

Hope flared in Arthur's chest, bright and desperate. "Take me to him."

The dungeons were warmer than in Uther's day - Arthur had insisted on basic comforts for prisoners awaiting trial, over his father's objections. The sorcerer, barely older than Arthur himself, sat on a simple cot, hands bound with iron that would prevent spell-casting. He looked up as they entered, his face drawn with exhaustion and something that might have been shame.

"Your Highness," he said, attempting an awkward bow from his seated position. "Thank you for seeing me."

"You have information?" Arthur kept his voice neutral, though his pulse was racing with possibility.

"Perhaps. My name is Garrett. I... I didn't want to attack Camelot. But Marcus - our leader - he said Emrys was enslaved, that we had to free him." His voice carried the weight of regret. "We thought we were doing the right thing."

"By trying to take him by force?" Arthur's tone was sharp with disbelief.

Garrett flushed, color rising in his pale cheeks. "It seemed like the only way at the time. But then we saw him fight, saw what he'd become..." He shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself. "That's not Emrys. The prophecies speak of wisdom and compassion, not... that."

"His soul was stolen," Arthur said bluntly, watching for the young man's reaction. "Trapped in a stone by another sorcerer. We're trying to free him."

"The Stone of Souls?" Garrett's eyes widened with genuine horror. "But those are legend - evil things, created by those who feared love's power."

Arthur leaned forward intently. "Not legend. Very real." He let his desperation show, calculating that honesty might serve him better than royal composure. "What do you know of them?"

"Stories, mostly. Horror stories." Garrett glanced between Arthur and Merlin with growing confusion. "They steal souls and leave bodies to die, but…"

“Apparently,” Arthur said, “when Merlin’s soul was stolen, his magic remained. It’s keeping him alive.”

Garrett’s eyes widened in understanding. "Ah. I see. Well… that explains much.” His brow furrowed as he looked at Merlin. “Then… perhaps there is still hope. There's a druid camp two days north. Their elder, Iseldir, is said to have knowledge of the old magics. If anyone would know how to break the enchantment on such a stone and release Emrys’ soul, it would be him."

Arthur's heart leaped. "And he'd help us? The Crown has hardly been friend to the druids."

"For Emrys? Yes." Garrett's voice carried absolute conviction. "He is... important to them. To all who practice magic. He's the bridge between the old ways and the new world that's coming."

Arthur glanced at Merlin, standing silent as a shadow.

"May I?" Garrett asked softly.

Arthur tensed but nodded, curious despite his protective instincts.

"Emrys," Garrett said gently, as one might address a wild animal. "Do you know me?"

"You are Garrett. You are a sorcerer. You were a threat, but no longer." The words were delivered without inflection, clinical in their precision.

Garrett's face crumpled as if struck. “Oh, Emrys,” he whispered. He looked back to Arthur with tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry. We should have known something was wrong when the message came."

Arthur's felt dread spark under his skin. "What message?"

"A raven, last evening. It said Emrys was in Camelot, enslaved by the prince, and that true sorcerers should come free him." Garrett met Arthur's eyes with growing realization. "Someone wanted us to attack. To test you. To test him."

Arthur sat back, mind racing through implications. Someone was orchestrating events, moving pieces on a board he couldn't see. First the attack with the stone, then the coordinated assault... but why? What did they gain from revealing Merlin's power? From stripping away his soul?

"I'll consider clemency if your information proves true," Arthur said finally, though his thoughts were elsewhere. "For now, you'll remain here - treated well, but confined."

"That's more than fair, Sire. And..." Garrett's voice dropped. "I'm truly am sorry. For attacking your home. For what happened to him."

Arthur left the dungeons with more questions than answers, but at least they had a direction - the druid camp, and this Iseldir who might hold the key to saving Merlin. It wasn't much, but it was more hope than he'd had an hour ago.

He was heading back to his chambers when Gwen intercepted him in the corridor, her expression set with familiar determination.

"Arthur, we need to talk."

"Not now, Gwen." He was too raw, too close to breaking. He couldn't handle her gentle understanding right now.

"Yes, now." She planted herself in his path, chin raised defiantly in a way that reminded him why he'd always admired her courage. "You haven't eaten since yesterday. You haven't slept. You're running on stubbornness and will, and that won't last forever."

"Gwen - "

"Would Merlin want this?" she pressed, her voice soft but relentless. "Would he want you destroying yourself trying to save him?"

The question hit like a physical blow. Arthur's careful control cracked, and the words came out harsher than intended, echoing off stone walls: "He's not here to want anything!"

Gwen didn't flinch. Instead, she stepped closer, her voice gentle but firm. "No, he's not. But you are. And you're no good to him or Camelot if you collapse." Her expression softened with understanding. "Please, Arthur. One hour. Eat something, close your eyes. Let others help carry this burden."

He wanted to refuse, to push past her and continue his desperate planning. But Merlin chose that moment to speak, his voice cutting through Arthur's internal struggle.

"Lady Guinevere speaks wisdom. Your physical condition is degrading. You require rest and food."

Arthur stared at him, caught between laughter and tears. "Did you just... take her side?"

"I stated facts relevant to your wellbeing." The response was mechanical, but the intervention... that felt like something Merlin would do.

Arthur found himself laughing, short and bitter but genuine. "Fine. One hour." He looked at Gwen, seeing the relief in her eyes. "But tell me honestly - did you know? About his magic?"

Her face softened with memory and regret. "I suspected," she admitted. "Little things over the years. The way disasters always seemed to resolve when he was around. How he'd sometimes know things he couldn't possibly know." She smiled sadly. "And the way he looked at you when he thought no one was watching. Like you hung the moon and stars. Only someone hiding such a great secret could hide that much love."

Arthur's chest tightened, heat rising in his face. The implications in her words, the gentle understanding in her eyes... "Gwen - "

"One hour," she repeated firmly, steering him toward his chambers. "Rest. Then you can resume your heroic brooding."

She bullied him into eating half a plate of food that tasted like ash in his mouth, and stood guard while he lay down. Arthur was certain he wouldn't sleep, couldn't with Merlin standing there like a statue, golden eyes fixed on some invisible threat.

He was wrong. Exhaustion pulled him under within minutes, dragging him into dreams filled with gold light and empty eyes.

He dreamed of Merlin's laughter echoing in hollow spaces, of reaching for his friend only to grasp smoke. In the dream, Merlin dissolved between his fingers, speaking in a voice like wind through ruins: "You never really saw me anyway."

Arthur woke with a gasp to find Merlin kneeling beside the bed, one hand extended toward him but not quite touching, as if he'd been about to wake him but stopped himself.

"You were in distress," Merlin explained, his voice carrying that blank precision. "Intervention seemed warranted."

"I'm fine." Arthur sat up, scrubbing at his face, trying to banish the lingering images from his dreams. Through the window, he could see the sun had moved significantly. "How long?"

"Nearly seven candle marks."

More than he'd intended, but his mind felt clearer, his body less like it was being held together by will alone. "Any developments?"

"Sir Leon reports three more sorcerers approaching from the east. Non-hostile. They bear a peace banner and request audience."

Arthur groaned, running hands through his hair. Word was spreading even faster than expected, drawing every magic user in the five kingdoms to Camelot's gates. "I’ll have Leon bring them to the throne room. Full guard, but we’ll treat them with courtesy unless they prove otherwise."

He rose, straightening his rumpled clothes. In the mirror, he looked haggard but functional. It would have to do.

"Merlin, can you sense their intentions? Like with Cynric?" The ability was useful, even if the source of it made Arthur's stomach churn.

"Their surface thoughts indicate genuine desire for parley. I cannot sense their deeper motivations without more invasive power."

Arthur turned sharply, something fierce and protective flaring in his chest. "No." His voice was harder than he'd intended. "No invading minds. We're not - you're not a weapon."

"I am what you need me to be," Merlin replied, and the matter-of-fact acceptance in those words hurt more than defiance would have.

"Except obedient," Arthur argued, desperate to provoke some spark of the old Merlin. "You've never been obedient in your life."

"You do not need me to be obedient," Merlin said, and though it was delivered without emotion, it was such a perfectly Merlin thing to say that Arthur's breath caught.

He moved closer, studying that familiar-strange face for any hint of the man he knew. "What I need," he said softly, "is my friend back. The one who argues with me and calls me names and saves my life while pretending he's just lucky. Can you be that?"

For a moment - just a moment - something flickered in those empty golden eyes. A shadow of recognition, a ghost of warmth. Then it was gone, leaving only hollow light.

"I cannot be what I am not," Merlin said simply.

Arthur turned away before his expression could betray the sharp spike of pain those words caused. "Then be what you are. But remember - I'm not my father. I won't use magic as a tool of fear."

A short while later, they entered the throne room, where three sorcerers waited under heavy guard. Unlike yesterday's attackers, these wore simple robes and carried no weapons Arthur could see. The eldest, a woman with silver-streaked hair and intelligent eyes, stepped forward as he entered.

"Prince Arthur. I am Ceryndra. We come seeking truth."

"Regarding?" Arthur kept his voice neutral, though he was studying her carefully. There was power here, but it felt different from the raw aggression of yesterday's attackers.

"Emrys." Her eyes moved to Merlin, and her expression grew troubled. "Word spreads among those with magic. Some say he's enslaved. Others that he's been broken. We needed to see for ourselves."

"And what do you see?" Arthur challenged, though he dreaded the answer.

The woman studied Merlin for a long moment, her expression growing increasingly distressed. "I see emptiness where light should be. Power without soul, moving flesh without spirit." She shuddered. "This is not natural, not even for one such as him."

Arthur's jaw tightened. "A sorcerer stole his soul," he explained tersely, each word feeling like pulling teeth. "Trapped it in an artifact. His magic is keeping his body alive, but we don't know for how long."

"The Stone of Souls?" At Arthur's sharp nod, she paled visibly. "Those are abominations. In all the stories, the victim's body dies within days. But he..." She looked at Merlin with new understanding. "Ah. Magic incarnate. We are fortunate that his nature keeps him alive even without a soul." She paused, looking at Arthur carefully. "You seek to restore him? The Crown seeks to save a sorcerer whose very existence defies the natural order?"

The question carried weights Arthur wasn't sure he was ready to bear. "I seek to save my friend," he corrected, pouring all his conviction into the words. "The rest is politics."

"I see." Something in her expression shifted, surprise giving way to something that might have been respect. "We misjudged you, Prince Arthur. The magical community has long seen Camelot as our enemy."

"My father's Camelot, perhaps. But things are changing." The words felt like a vow, a commitment to a future he wasn't sure he could deliver.

"Understood, Your Highness. We seek only to see Emrys whole again." She hesitated, glancing at her companions. "May I... speak with him?"

Arthur tensed, protective instincts flaring, but he nodded. The woman approached Merlin slowly, as one might a wild animal.

"Emrys," she said softly, her voice carrying reverence. "I am Ceryndra, a priestess of the Old Religion. Do you know me?"

"I know what you have told me. I know that you have significant power. I have not yet decided if you are a threat." The response was clinical, emotionless.

She winced as if struck. "I am no threat to you or yours. I've come to help."

No response. Merlin's gaze remained fixed on some middle distance, as if she weren't worth acknowledging.

"The prophecies speak of you," she continued, her voice growing stronger. "The greatest warlock to walk the earth, who would restore magic to its rightful place. But this... this isn't what was foretold."

"Prophecies are open to interpretation," Merlin said suddenly, his head tilting slightly. "Multiple paths exist. My current path serves my primary purpose."

"Which is?"

"Protection of Arthur Pendragon. Ensuring his destiny."

Arthur's chest tightened at the stark reduction of everything Merlin was to a single function.

"And your own destiny?" Ceryndra pressed.

"Irrelevant."

The word fell between them like a stone dropped in still water. Ceryndra stepped back, visibly shaken.

"His very identity has been stripped away, leaving only purpose," she said, her voice trembling. She met Arthur's eyes with something like pity. "He was never meant to exist this way. And while nothing like this has ever happened, I fear there might be… complications, the longer his magic exists without his soul."

The warning sent ice through Arthur's veins. Time - always time, slipping away like sand through his fingers. "We ride for the druid camp at dawn," he decided. "Leon, prepare a small party - speed matters more than strength."

"Sire," Leon acknowledged, already moving to comply.

As the sorcerers were led away to guest quarters, Gwen approached.

"You're trusting them?" she asked quietly.

Arthur watched them go, noting the careful way they avoided looking at Merlin, the reverence mixed with horror in their faces. "I'm trusting that they want Merlin restored as much as I do." He turned to her. "Keep an eye on them. Any sign of deception..."

"I'll handle it," she promised, her hand finding his arm in brief comfort.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of preparation. Supplies gathered, horses readied, plans laid with military precision that couldn't quite mask the desperation driving them. Through it all, Merlin shadowed Arthur with mechanical precision, present but not present, a constant reminder of what they stood to lose.

As night fell over Camelot, Arthur found himself in the strategy room, spread before him maps of the northern territories and the routes they might take to reach the druid camp. Candles flickered in their holders, casting dancing shadows across the parchment as he traced possible paths with his finger.

Merlin stood by the window, motionless as a sentinel, golden eyes reflecting the candlelight.

"Two days Garrett said," Arthur murmured, speaking as much to himself as to the empty air. "But which route? The main road would be faster, but more exposed. The forest paths might hide us better, but..." He looked up at Merlin's still form. "What do you think? You always had good instincts about these things."

No response. Arthur's hand tightened on the map's edge.

"I miss you," he said quietly, his voice carrying in the stone-walled room. "I miss your terrible jokes and your worse lies about taverns. I miss the way you'd roll your eyes when I was being a… a clotpole."

Silence stretched between them, heavy with all the words Arthur had never said.

"I know I wasn't... I wasn't the friend you deserved. All those years, and I never really looked. Never asked the right questions. Just assumed you were..." He laughed bitterly, the sound echoing off the walls. "Assumed you were simple. Uncomplicated. Mine."

The last word slipped out before he could stop it. Heat rushed to his face as the implications crashed over him.

"Not mine like property," he clarified quickly to the unhearing air, though his voice caught on the words. "Mine like... like how the sun is mine when it warms my face. Like how breathing is mine. Natural. Essential. Always there."

He pulled the locket from beneath his shirt, studying the seamless surface that concealed the light within—warm gold that pulsed like a heartbeat, like life trapped and waiting, visible only when he opened it with his touch. "Were you happy? Living that lie? Or was every day agony, hiding who you really were?"

"You're asking the wrong questions."

Arthur looked up sharply to find Ceryndra standing in the doorway, her expression thoughtful rather than intrusive. She stepped into the room with careful respect, hands visible and empty.

"Forgive me," she said softly. "I was looking for the library—I hoped to research what we might face tomorrow. I heard voices and thought..." She gestured toward Merlin. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but when I realized what you were discussing..." Her gaze moved between him and Merlin with uncomfortable knowing. "You wonder if he was happy. But happiness isn't why he stayed."

Arthur's throat went dry. "Then why?"

"Love." The word hung between them like a blade, sharp with truth he wasn't ready to face. "He loved you more than his own truth. Loved Camelot more than his freedom. That's what the stone recognized—not duty or destiny, but love so profound it eclipsed everything else."

Arthur's hands shook as he set the stone back on the table. "You can't know that."

"Can't I?" She gestured to Merlin, who remained motionless despite the conversation happening around him. "Even now, soulless, he protects you. Not from command but from instinct. The stone took his soul but couldn't take what drives him at the deepest level." She paused, her eyes too knowing. "The question is: what drives you?"

"I want my friend back." The words came out rougher than intended.

"Friend." She tested the word like wine, finding it lacking. "Is that all he is to you?""

Arthur stood abruptly, anger flaring without quite knowing why. The question felt like an accusation, like she was trying to force him into admissions he couldn't make. "What else would he be?"

"You tell me." Her eyes were relentless, cutting through every defense he'd built. "You speak of him like sunlight and breathing. You're destroying yourself trying to save him. You trusted sorcerers - your father's greatest enemies - for the chance to restore him. What is he to you, truly?"

"I don't... that's not..." Arthur faltered, the words tangling in his throat. How could he explain what he didn't understand himself? The way his chest went tight when Merlin smiled? The way he found excuses to touch him, steady him, any reason to bridge the distance between them? The way he'd rather face a dozen armed enemies than face the thought of a world without Merlin in it?

"The stone responds to truth," Ceryndra said gently, her voice carrying the weight of ancient knowledge. "When the time comes to call him back, half-truths won't be enough. You'll need to know your own heart as clearly as his knew you."

She moved to leave, pausing at the door. "We ride at dawn?"

"Yes." Arthur's voice came out hoarse, stripped raw by truths he wasn't ready to face.

"Good. The druids know me - it will ease our welcome." She glanced back, her expression softening with something that might have been pity. "Think on what I've said, Prince Arthur. The stone chose him because of what you are to him. His soul will choose whether to return based on what he is to you."

She left Arthur alone with his thoughts and the empty echo of Merlin's presence. The silence that followed felt heavier than before, weighted with implications he couldn't escape.

The night stretched endlessly ahead. Arthur tried to sleep but couldn't, his mind churning with Ceryndra's words. He tried to plan their journey but his thoughts scattered like leaves in wind. Always, he came back to that impossible question.

What is he to you?

Servant. Friend. Protector. Irritant. Comfort. Challenge. The one person who saw past the crown to the man beneath, who stayed despite everything Arthur had put him through. The one who...

Arthur cut off that thought before it could fully form, but it lingered like smoke in still air.

Near dawn, unable to bear the silence any longer, he spoke to Merlin again. His voice was quiet, meant for the pre-dawn darkness and the ears that couldn't truly hear him.

"When we get you back - and we will get you back - things will be different. I'll make father change the laws. You won't have to hide anymore. You can be yourself, openly." The promises felt hollow even as he made them, words without weight in the face of such vast loss.

"Change is not required," Merlin said suddenly, startling Arthur from his brooding. "This is acceptable. I do not need anything."

"No," Arthur said fiercely, turning to face that empty, beautiful face. "You do. You deserve better than shadows and secrets. You deserve - " Everything. The word caught in his throat, too loaded with meaning he couldn't examine.

A knock interrupted the moment, sharp and efficient. Leon entered, armor gleaming in the pre-dawn light, every inch the perfect knight.

"The party is ready, Sire. Ceryndra and her companions wait in the courtyard."

Arthur felt relief at the interruption war with frustration at words left unspoken. The locket pulsed against his chest as he straightened, feeling the weight of what he carried—literally and figuratively. "Good." He adjusted the chain beneath his shirt, ensuring it remained hidden. "Who rides with us?"

"Myself, Lancelot, and Gwaine. Small enough for speed, skilled enough for trouble." Leon's expression suggested he thought they'd find both.

"And Gwen?"

"Insists on coming. Says someone needs to keep you human." Leon's tone carried the weight of agreement with that assessment.

They assembled in the courtyard as the first light touched the sky, painting the stones pale gold. Six horses stamped and snorted in the morning air, ready for the journey ahead. Seven riders - Merlin would share Arthur's mount, the better to keep him close and monitor his condition.

"Cozy," Gwaine commented with forced cheer as Arthur swung up behind Merlin. "Like old times, except eerier."

Arthur ignored the jest, too focused on the way his chest pressed against Merlin's back, how his arms circled his friend's waist by necessity. Merlin sat perfectly balanced, requiring no support, but Arthur held on anyway. The contact felt both natural and wrong - familiar motions stripped of their meaning.

"Focus on the road," Arthur ordered, though the words were meant as much for himself as his knights.

They rode out as Camelot woke around them, passing through streets where early-rising merchants set up their stalls. Word had spread through the city like wildfire - people lined their route, watching in silence that felt heavy with judgment. Some made signs against evil, old superstitions dying hard. Others looked hopeful, as if magic might bring solutions to their daily struggles. A few even bowed, not to Arthur but to Merlin, recognizing power when they saw it.

"They know," Gwen said quietly, her horse keeping pace beside Arthur's. "About his magic, about what he's done for them."

Arthur watched an old woman bow deeply as they passed, her eyes fixed on Merlin with something like reverence. "And?"

"They're scared. But also grateful. Give them time."

Time. Always time, the resource Arthur felt slipping away with each mile they traveled. How long did they have before the separation became permanent? Before Merlin's soul, freed from its stone prison, chose the peace of Avalon over the pain of returning to flesh? What if they succeeded in breaking the stone only to watch Merlin's essence drift away like morning mist, finally free but choosing eternal rest over the burdens of life?

The druid camp lay two days north, through forests that grew wilder with each passing hour. Ceryndra led them on paths Arthur hadn't known existed, ways that seemed to fold distance and make mockery of maps. The trees grew older here, their branches thick with shadow and secrets.

"Magic?" he asked during a brief rest, watching the way shadows moved independently of their sources.

"Old roads," she corrected, her voice carrying respect for ancient powers. "Made long before Uther's war. They remember those who walk with purpose."

The first day passed in relative quiet, their horses eating up the miles on paths that seemed designed for swiftness. Arthur found himself hyperaware of Merlin's presence - the warmth of his back against Arthur's chest, the way he moved with the horse's gait without conscious thought. It was painfully familiar and utterly wrong, like embracing a beautiful statue carved from memory.

They made camp the first night in a clearing that felt older than kingdoms, where standing stones hummed with barely audible power. Gwaine gathered wood while Leon scouted the perimeter with military precision. Lancelot tended the horses with gentle efficiency. Normal tasks made strange by Merlin's stillness at the fire's edge, watching flames that cast no warmth in his empty eyes.

Dinner was a quiet affair, even Gwaine's usual chatter subdued by the weight of what they carried. Ceryndra and her companions ate apart, discussing something in low voices that carried the rhythm of ritual.

"I hate this," Gwaine said suddenly, his voice raw with frustration. "He should be making terrible stew and worse jokes. Not sitting there like a bloody statue."

"We all hate it," Lancelot said gently, though his eyes never left Merlin's motionless form.

"Do we?" Gwaine's gaze found Arthur with uncomfortable directness. "Because from where I sit, seems like some of us are only just realizing what we had."

"Gwaine," Leon warned, but there was no real heat in it.

"No, he's right." Arthur stared into the fire, letting the flames blur his vision. "I took him for granted. We all did. The cheerful servant who was always there, always ready. I never questioned it. Never wondered why someone with his power would choose that life."

"He had his reasons," Lancelot said carefully, his voice carrying weights Arthur was beginning to understand.

Arthur looked at him sharply, pieces clicking into place. "You knew."

Not a question. Lancelot nodded slowly, meeting Arthur's gaze without flinching. "He saved my life. With magic. Made me promise to keep his secret."

Arthur felt something twist in his chest - not quite betrayal, but a sharp recognition of how isolated he'd been in his ignorance. "How long?"

"Years."

"And you never thought to tell me?"

"It wasn't my secret to tell." Lancelot's voice was steady, but his eyes carried understanding of the pain his words caused. "Would you have thanked me for the knowledge? Or would duty have forced you to act?"

Arthur couldn't answer, because even now, knowing the truth, he wasn't sure what he would have done. The laws were clear, his father's expectations absolute. He might have tried to protect Merlin, but would he have succeeded? Or would duty and fear have won in the end?

"He was protecting you," Gwen added softly, her voice carrying the gentleness she used for wounded things. "From having to choose between your father's laws and your friend."

"Some protection," Arthur said bitterly. "Look where it led."

"To him saving Camelot again," Leon pointed out with quiet conviction. "As he always has."

They lapsed into silence, the weight of unspoken truths settling over them like dew. Above, stars wheeled in patterns older than prophecy, indifferent to human pain. Somewhere in the darkness, an owl called, lonely and wild.

"Tell me about him," Arthur said suddenly, surprising himself with the request. "The things I missed. The things he hid."

They exchanged glances, a silent communication that spoke of shared secrets and careful loyalties. Then Gwaine spoke, his voice unusually soft.

"He used to practice in the forest. I followed him once, curious about where he disappeared to." His eyes grew distant with memory. "Watched him make flowers bloom in winter, just because he could. He looked... free. Happy in a way I'd never seen in the castle."

"He'd heal people," Gwen added, her voice warm with affection. "Quietly, secretly. A child's fever here, a mother's difficult birth there. Never taking credit, never seeking thanks."

"He'd stay up all night researching spells to protect you," Lancelot contributed, his tone carrying deep respect. "I'd find him holed up in his room, surrounded by books older than Camelot, looking for ways to keep you safe from the next threat."

Story after story painted a picture of the man Arthur had been too blind to see. Each revelation was a small knife, cutting away his assumptions and leaving raw truth in their wake. By the time they finished, the fire had burned low and Arthur's chest ached with loss that felt oceanic in its depth.

"I'm a fool," he said quietly, the words barely audible over the crackling flames.

"Yes," Ceryndra agreed, appearing from the shadows like smoke given form. "But perhaps not irredeemably so." She studied him with those too-knowing eyes. "You see him now. That's what matters."

Arthur looked up at her, exhaustion making him honest. "I see an empty shell," he corrected harshly.

"Do you?" She gestured to Merlin, who had shifted minutely to angle himself between Arthur and the dark forest beyond the firelight. "Even now, he guards you. The soul may be gone, but the heart remains."

"Hearts need souls," Arthur said, though the words felt hollow.

"Perhaps. Or perhaps souls need hearts to call them home." Her smile was enigmatic, carrying mysteries Arthur wasn't sure he wanted to understand. "Rest, Prince Arthur. Tomorrow we reach the druids, and answers."

Sleep came eventually, fitful and dream-haunted. Arthur woke several times to find Merlin exactly as he'd left him, a sentinel against the night, golden eyes reflecting starlight like a cat's.

The second day's ride was harder, the paths narrower and less defined. Magic pressed close on all sides, making the horses nervous and the air thick with power. Only Ceryndra's presence kept them moving forward, her authority over the ancient ways absolute.

Then, between one heartbeat and the next, they were there.

The druid camp materialized like morning mist given form, hidden by arts Arthur couldn't begin to understand. Tents of green and brown blended seamlessly with the forest, cook fires sending aromatic smoke skyward in patterns that spoke of careful tending. People moved with quiet purpose, their faces carrying the timeless wisdom of those who lived close to the earth.

They stopped at the sight of riders, wariness replaced by wonder as they recognized Ceryndra. And then they saw Merlin.

"Emrys," someone whispered, the name rippling through the camp like wind through grain. Druids emerged from tents, gathered in clusters, all staring with expressions of reverence and growing horror.

An elderly man approached, leaning on a carved staff. His eyes were kind but penetrating, seeing more than surface truth, reading the story written in Arthur's desperate posture and Merlin's terrible stillness.

"Prince Arthur," he said, his voice carrying despite its softness. "I am Iseldir. We have been expecting you."

Arthur felt a spark of hope. "You have?"

"The earth itself cries out at what has been done to Emrys." Iseldir's gaze moved to Merlin, and Arthur saw pain flicker across the elder's weathered features. "Such emptiness where once was light. Tell me how this came to be."

Arthur explained tersely - the attack, the stone, the stolen soul. With each word, Iseldir's expression grew graver, the weight of ancient knowledge bearing down on his shoulders.

"The Stone of Souls," he murmured when Arthur finished, his voice heavy with recognition and sorrow. "I had hoped never to encounter such darkness." He straightened, steel entering his voice. "Come. Bring him. There is much to discuss and little time to waste."

They followed him to a tent larger than the others, its interior surprisingly spacious. Cushions and low tables, herbs hanging from supports, crystals catching lamplight in patterns that spoke of careful arrangement. It felt like entering another world, one where magic was as natural as breathing.

"Sit," Iseldir instructed, his voice carrying gentle authority. "All of you. This concerns more than just prince and warlock."

When they'd arranged themselves - Merlin standing behind Arthur despite repeated attempts to make him sit - Iseldir spoke, his words carrying the weight of prophecy.

"The Stone of Souls is old magic, born of fear and twisted love. It takes what the victim values most, using their own heart against them." His eyes found Arthur, seeing too much. "That it took Emrys speaks volumes about his place in your world."

Heat crept up Arthur's neck, the implications of those words hitting like physical blows. "He's very loyal."

"Is that what you call it?" Iseldir's smile was knowing, carrying depths Arthur wasn't ready to explore. "Young prince, duty alone does not rank above self in the heart's measure. The stone saw truth you both have hidden from."

Arthur's mouth went dry. The careful walls he'd built around certain thoughts began to crack under the weight of gentle observation.

"Can you help him?" he asked desperately, needing to change the subject before those walls crumbled entirely.

"Perhaps. The stone can be broken, but not by force. It requires a catalyst - something to bridge the gap between soul and flesh." Iseldir moved to a chest, withdrawing items with reverent care. "There is an artifact that might serve. A crystal from Tŷ'r Profedigaeth - the Cave of Trials - that lies within the true Valley of the Fallen Kings."

"Of course it does," Gwaine muttered under his breath. "Can't ever be simple, can it?"

"Great magic demands great effort," Iseldir said mildly, though his eyes held understanding. "The journey will test you - all of you. The cave does not surrender its treasures easily."

"What kind of tests?" Leon asked, his tactical mind already working through possibilities.

"The kind that strip away pretense and reveal truth. You will face yourselves as much as any external threat." His gaze found Arthur again, piercing and relentless. "You most of all, young king. Tŷ'r Profedigaeth responds to pure intent. Half-measures and hidden hearts will see you fail."

Arthur squared his shoulders, meeting that knowing gaze with determination he didn't entirely feel. "I'll do whatever necessary."

"Will you?" Iseldir moved closer, studying him with uncomfortable intensity. "The stone took Emrys because your heart values him above all else. But do you value him enough to speak that truth aloud? To acknowledge what you've both been dancing around for years?"

Arthur's throat constricted. The careful edifice of denial he'd built began to crumble under the weight of direct challenge. "I don't know what you mean."

Iseldir reached out, his hand hovering just over Arthur's chest where the locket lay hidden, and Arthur felt warmth pulse against his skin. "This abomination works by perverting love. It recognized the shape of Emrys's heart—turned toward you like a flower to sun. The question becomes: when time comes to call him back, what will your heart offer in return?"

The words hung in the air like an ultimatum. Around him, his friends sat silent, carefully not looking at him, but Arthur could feel their attention like weight against his skin.

"Love," Iseldir continued, his voice gentle but implacable, "is not weakness, young king. It is the greatest magic of all. But it requires courage to acknowledge, especially when it defies expectation."

Arthur's hands clenched in his lap. "He's my friend," he managed, the words feeling inadequate even as he spoke them.

"Yes," Iseldir agreed with infinite patience. He stepped back, giving Arthur space to breathe. "Know this - the journey to the cave will take three days. You'll face trials that test body, mind, and spirit. Some who enter never emerge."

"We'll manage," Arthur said with more confidence than he felt, though his voice carried the authority of command.

"I hope so." Iseldir gestured to his people, who began moving with quiet efficiency. "We'll supply what we can - food, water, guidance to the valley's edge. Beyond that, you walk alone."

"Not alone," Gwen corrected firmly, her voice carrying absolute conviction. "Together."

Iseldir smiled, the expression transforming his weathered features. "As it should be. Rest tonight. Tomorrow, you begin a journey that will change everything."

They were given tents, simple but comfortable, and Arthur found himself sharing with Merlin as if by unspoken agreement. No one questioned it, though Gwaine's knowing look spoke volumes.

As night fell over the druid camp, Arthur sat on his bedroll, watching Merlin stand motionless by the tent flap. The locket pulsed against his chest, constant reminder of failure and hope intertwined, warm metal carrying the weight of a soul displaced.

"What am I going to do?" he asked the empty air, his voice barely above a whisper, his fingers finding the hidden chain. "How do I... how do I tell you something I can't even tell myself?"

No answer came from the hollow shell wearing Merlin's face. But outside, drums began a slow rhythm, and voices rose in ancient songs. The druids sang for Emrys, for his return, for love to conquer fear.

Arthur lay back, one hand over the locket, and tried not to think about Iseldir's words. About truth and courage and hearts turned like flowers to sun.

Three days to the cave. Three days to find courage he wasn't sure existed.

Three days to admit what Merlin apparently had known all along.

The locket pulsed beneath his fingers, patient as heartbeat, waiting for truth to set them free.

-------

Thank you so much to everyone who liked, commented and reblogged chapter 1! <3 I wanted to have this chapter out earlier, but between work and the last week of the quarter for the online university work I'm doing, I didn't have much time to polish this draft chapter. It still might be iffy, so as usual, constructive criticism is welcome. If I stay at this rate of posting, I should get a chapter up once a week -- twice if I can edit faster.

Big question: Should I post this fic to the BBC Merlin community? I just barely joined and I'm not sure if there are unspoken rules about such things.

[mistfallengw2]

Absolution gives me thoughts. Not bad, but many.

Map is cool and definitely manages the vibe it's going for, this expansion they showcased that better than ever in specific things (or at least I did feel it particularly strong). A tad empty though. Meta is... fine? Short for sure, and the "reversal of expectations" (big boss first, divide and conquer later) is a choice indeed lol. Rewards definitely need to be better though. Time to delve into achievs and fractal.

Now... the expansion as a whole is still very valid and I had plenty of fun, but we can't ignore the elephant in the room. The story is... rushed. No way around it. Not egregious like with SotO's second half, they still got in the ballpark of some beats they wanted to reach, but I can distinctively feel the agony left from the parts they had to rush through or cut away (at this point I've got a 6th sense for it in all media and it's rough). That said, the overall vibe of the whole story does kinda strengthen my theory that SotO, JW and the next expansion are part of (at least) a trilogy centered around the Wizards, but we'll see lol. It's just a theory, a loooooore theory!

Now, for the big thoughts...

The expansion type is easy to blame, but that's not the whole issue by itself, it's more tied to the kind of story they want to tell and the update structure that doesn't fit it their scope. Old expansions were similar to movies, with mostly self-concluding storylines that are limited to shorter spans of time (HoT was a month and a half and likely the longest), while LW Seasons had the structure of a tv series that can be more episodic with smaller focused storylines while still advancing the underlying bigger plot. Each was suited for its story, and having them alternate meant we got the best of both worlds.

Current expansions are still trying to make a movie with stories like before, but the current release schedule means that they start strong with the first half of the movie, then chop the rest of it into smaller episodes to keep it going for longer as if it was a small series (trying not lose players' ever-dwindling attention). Now THAT is going to ruin any movie/story, regardless of its quality. Imagine if HoT's story was was identical, but you had to wait around for 3 months for each map and story beat past Auric Basin. It'd be cool up until the egg is safe in the pretty city, then it'd be just a little better "slog" than what we're getting now.

SotO also had the problem of trying to cram what felt like 1.5 expansions into a smaller one (Wizardland was a strong start, but then we moved to Nayos... which could have easily been an expansion on its own if expanded and with different maps), so the narrative was hit hard like one of those terrible book adaptations that resort to cutting everything they can. JW managed to do better with its pacing, at least the pauses felt more natural in-story (Lowlanders' torpor, recouping from reasonable aftermaths, "can't enter because the key is dangerous so we gotta find alternatives" instead of deadly fogs), but it still feels "abridged" like Champions in a way.

Budget and time constraints hit old stuff big time too (just look at the 4th lane of Dragon's Stand, Siren's Landing, Kourna, the "gotta rush ahead" moment in every expansion, etc), but it was easier to hide that when it's on longer playthroughs.

I don't envy the devs, because working on a full expansion would mean 2 years of content drought in a no-attention-span environment, and we're already seeing the gut reaction for less than 150 days of that. Doing the "1 year per release" model on time was a great flex (especially if they are actually not compromising work-life balance), but I do hope for it to shift towards "more than 1 year as needed" instead, like they're doing now. I'm also fine with waiting 4 months between releases if they get to breathe a bit, and I'll beat that acceptance into annoying people if needed. One good solution would be less at the start and spreading that out to secondary releases (maybe even a return to LW format with more or less equal releases), but we'll see what we get.

Also let's face it, if IBS hadn't failed due to Covid and the nostalgia-fueled expansion demand from higher-ups and annoying fans, we might have ended up with the "Living World but paid and bigger" concept many were ready to pay for years ago. Instead, we got there via the wrong process.

We knew Kiel fucks, we knew Logan fucks, but we didn't know they fuck together lmao (also Jennah holy fuck r u for real gurl?)

[earthkittytarot]

PAC reading!! (Pick a cat reading!)

Choose a cat you feel drawn to, that’s your message!!

By EarthKittyTarot

1. 🔮 2. 💰

Bottom of the deck for both piles:

The overall message for both piles is surrender to abundance. Now it the time to embrace change and transformation, as a new door is opening for you. Surrender to change, activity and progress that’s taking place in your life at this moment. In this next stage and chapter of your life, you will learn to take control of anything that bothers you. Learn to let go of what you don’t need so that you may be successful and create new ways of being for yourself.

Ask an angel oracle card // Surrender, archangel azrael:

Death, like life, is constant. Everything in existence is constantly dying, and being reborn from the cells in our body, to our thoughts and feelings, to the constant shifting cycles of nature. Like most aspects of nature, the human psyche also goes through larger cycles. The Earth has her days, nights, 28 day moon cycle, 12 month sun cycle and seasons just to name a few.  We also have cycles and more often than not they are in complete attunement to the natural cycles. Whether that be through day, night, the weather, seasons or astrology, we have cycles and rhythms that are in tune with nature, regardless of whether we choose to be conscious of it or not.  The part of the cycle coming up here is death. At this stage we deal with a release and a surrender. We must at this stage release some aspect of our life and our self. Beyond that we must release the ego; the part of ourself that is attached to identity, to itself being seen, being right, the part that buys into the illusion of believing that we can can ever truly know the unknowable. At this time a surrender must occur. A surrender to God, to Life, to Great mystery, the universe and the higher intelligence that exists in love. Once this occurs, a new kind of freedom is achieved within the psyche and the spirit and we become a clean slate for a new phase to begin. A death phase can be exciting, terrifying, ecstatic, devastating or even all of the above, depending on what is occurring for you. Humans are generally petrified of giving up the ego self. This is why we are afraid of death. But the ego must now be released in order to experience new life. Ultimately all that can be done is to process whatever feelings are coming up and surrender to this divine and natural cycle of consciousness. Inability to surrender will only result in this part of the cycle being a longer, more drawn-out and difficult process than it necessarily has to be. Above all, a true sense of liberation now awaits you. A new phase. Change is occurring now, embrace and surrender to it.

Pile 1:

Archangel: Michael

Oracle card: Clearing

Letters F, S & C could be significant for this reading.

Overall, what I got from the cards is that you have suffered a mental conflict or battle. What seemed ideal to you is now a cause of conflict. You must choose to clear away and walk away from this mental battle, and restore peace and harmony once again. The five of swords reveals arguments and conflicts with others, and moving on is now required if you are to find mental harmony. The battle is over, your opponents have left and you are now left to deal with this battle mentally. Call upon archangel Michael to help you clear away this situation once and for all. In the five of swords definition it says “ Regardless of the provocation, deal with your anger and disappointment. There’s a saying “it’s all over, bar the shouting.” Don’t keep shouting too much longer or hope to revisit the situation or relationship. It’s done.” Take the wisdom you have learned and learn to walk away. In the card the person is alone and no one is around anymore. Everyone has moved on except for you, use the wisdom and self respect you have to finally make your gracious exit from this situation. The sphere associate with this card is geburah, or power, which means conflict and judgment- in this five of swords, it reveals the need for power and control, the impetus behind the battle. Now, use what you’ve gained from dealing with this and clear it away, the storm is abating.

Clearing explained: In order to have clarity in your life, you must be clear. Clear of old ties, old issues, and old thought patterns. Clear of any mental, spiritual, emotional or physical clutter. If this card has come up for you, this means there are areas in your life in need of clearing. On a physical level, it may be time to clear your home. Throw away anything that is not relevant to you now or for the future life you want. Clean out all closets and corners. Get light and air circulating through your home. Clear your body, fill yourself with fresh, nourishing food that is easy to digest and supports your system. Most importantly drink at least 2 Litres of water a day. If you are feeling unclear on an emotional level, the first thing you can do is spend some time writing and journaling exactly what you are feeling. If you write at least a few pages every day, it will provide you with a direct reflection of what is going on for you and what you can do to resolve present issues. It also provides you with the space to release, pent-up energy and emotion. You may need to release someone or something from your life. You may need to cut the ties with a person, place or event or clear an old emotional issue. Once you take the time to see what needs clearing and releasing, it becomes easier to take the action necessary to allow that to happen. It may be necessary to review your mental and spiritual space at this time. Where are the old thought patterns, beliefs and self talk habits polluting your mental and spiritual space? Often the key to breaking the habit is to create a new one that is more supportive to your growth and happiness. If you’re telling yourself things that are not in line with your highest truth and highest potential, it’s time to simply start telling yourself something different. It may take work, lots of discipline and awareness, but you will get through and change the mental pattern if you keep repeating, and honoring the new thought pattern. Ultimately, you need to take space for yourself now. Create a sense of inner stillness and calm. Then with strength and courage, clear away the clutter and destructive ties in your life.

Pile 2:

Archangel: Metatron.

Oracle card: heaven and earth.

Letters K, C, H & E could be significant for this reading.

The overall message I got from the king of cups and the heaven and earth card is that once you’re able to take command of your emotions you’ll be able to find answers to any questions you may be having at this time.I also got acceptance from looking at the king of cups. The king of cups can be seen as an aspect of major arcana card #4, The Emperor, which signifies control, security, order and ambition. You are becoming conscious and awake, learning to master and have control over your emotions. Your feelings influence your ideas and thoughts. Remember to look back at the past and find acceptance; if you ran on autopilot, on destructive beliefs, or neurosis that you developed through the various influences or traumas you may have experienced throughout your life, the time is now to surrender those influences and beliefs, so that new ones may form. You exist in the psyche of God, playing your role, using free will to the extent that you choose. Everything you learned has taught you a lesson, and now is the time to operate within the greater sphere of energy. You have the power to create evolution and a revolution within. Forgive yourself for how you have operated in the past and know you are connected to all that is and has ever been; those who came before and who will come after you as well. Once you realize you are connected to the divine, you will start to operate with more peace, ease and grace. The time is now to create a revolution in your life, one that will bring about satisfactory results. You have the power to transmute feelings into ideas. Shifting from heart to head. Mental clarity comes when you have control of your emotions. Operate within the greater sphere of energy for best results. Integrate your past experiences and see how you can take control. Open up to new consciousness and awareness of yourself and your life. Emotional control creates mental clarity. Follow your heart and act based on higher principals, and remember you are a Spiritual being having a human experience.

Heaven and earth explained: Heaven and earth, human and divine, the flesh and the spirit. These polarities are often considered so different and yet, one does not exist without the other. This is the truth that, once integrated, truly sets us free. What if we couldn’t exist without God and God couldn’t exist without us? What if we were God dreaming? God, experiencing itself for pleasure, movement, and evolution? What if we were existing in the psyche of God, playing our roles, using free will to the extent that we choose, yet operating within that greater sphere of energy? We could have the power to create revolution/evolution within this space. We would truly be co-creators with God. When we connect to the idea that we are intricately linked to everything in existence, we become larger than ourselves. We become eternal. We become one with all who have come before us and those who will follow. All things become reflections of ourselves and reflections of God simultaneously. Once we realize that we exist in this state of oneness, we may begin to open up to the power and potential we hold on this space. Everything we do, think and believe affects the whole. Yet most of the time we walk blindly through life, believing we have free will, yet choosing to act based on personal fears and limitations, family, social or cultural beliefs about what is and isn’t the right thing to do. Or we act based on destructive beliefs or neurosis that we have developed through the various influences or traumas we may have experienced through our lives. When we act or attract from this place, the outcomes are generally mundane and predictable and not the product of free will but rather the product of programming. The true use of free will occurs when we think and act from a place that is free and at one with the divine, holding the power and potential of all that is. It comes from understanding the true potential that exists within every moment and the understanding that everything we do and think affects what will occur in our life, what we will experience and that in turn will affect the whole of existence. When we integrate the idea that heaven and earth, the flesh and spirit, human and divine, although polarities, are one and we have the power to affect and experience oneness with the whole, we will become conscious and awakened.

[bradleyblog]

Bradley’s father speculation part 3.5

Continuing from Part 3 , we discussed how Bradley’s father is probably a businessman of some sort and how his father focused solely on his career.

Now like I mentioned in Part 1 and Part 2 , I assessed that Bradley’s dad didn’t have an emotional bond with Bradley, due to Bradley’s reaction when Goofy accused Bradley of not understanding a father’s bond with his son. 

So , with this added knowledge that Bradleys father could be a successful businessman , it would make sense that Bradley wouldn’t understand If he felt like his dad always chose his career over him and focused more on himself than his son.  

Now from this part onward though , everything I'm going to say is more debatable and up to interpretation as Bradley’s backstory is left so much to the imagination that there isn’t really any concrete way of saying if any of this is true. This is more like possibilities , hence why this part is more like a short bonus to part 3 as who really knows. Even I don't know really? But never the less here are just some things to potentially consider ?

Was Bradley’s love from his father conditional ?

As we know, being seen as the best really matters to Bradley. To Bradley, even though he's on the same team , It’s not enough that the Gamma’s win the College X games but it has to be himself who has to be the one to come first in the final race. 

Any person in Bradley’s position would have just let Tank win for the team as at the end of the day , if you want your team to win it shouldn't matter who crosses the finish line first as long as it’s one of your own team members that does so. 

But not to Bradley though. Having and keeping his status as the College X game King is really important to Bradley. It’s what makes Bradley feel like he really is the best , what gives himself more self-worth and keeps people giving him attention. 

Now , putting Bradley’s ego aside. It is possible that when growing up, Bradley has been conditioned to be seen as the best due to his dad giving him unrealistic expectations. 

If his father is a narcissistic parent this wouldn’t be too surprising. 

www.psychologytoday.com

We also have to remember that due to Bradley being born into a family who are descendants of royalty, a high elite family , it is possible that he grew up with high expectations whether it be from within the family or from society itself.  Their mentality would probably be ‘They come from the best so they should of course be the best right?’  

But any good parent regardless of background , would let their child know that it’s okay to fail and that it's okay if somebody else beats you at something and yet Bradley is very competitive and cares alot about his own status. We also have to remember that Bradley’s values on being the best and being successful are probably values that have been passed down onto him.

so it it makes you wonder how his father would react if Bradley didn’t do better than someone else in something. 

As in , did his father only give Bradley positive attention when he was successful and negative attention if he was not? 

Here is a segment from How a Child Can Grow Up to Become a Narcissist | Psychology Today

“the child is raised in a family that is very competitive and only rewards high achievement. One or both of the parents are Exhibitionist Narcissists. The family motto is: If you can’t be the best, why bother?

Love is conditional: When you come in first in the race, win the science fair or star in the school show, you are showered with praise and attention. When you do not, you are a disappointment. Everyone in the family is supposed to be special and prove it over and over again. No matter how much you achieve, the pressure is never off. As one woman said: “When I came home with a report card with all A’s, my father asked me if anyone got an A+.”

Children in these families do not feel stably loved. It is hard for them to enjoy anything for its own sake if it does not confer status. Instead of being supported by their parents to explore what they like and want to do more of, they only receive support for high achievement. Their parents are not interested in their children’s “real selves,” they are mainly interested in how their children can make the family look good. They want to be able to brag to their neighbors: “Look at what my kid did!”

The children who grow up in homes like this only feel secure and worthwhile when they are successful and recognized as the “best.” The conditional love of their childhood and the over-evaluation of high status and success in their home sets in motion a lifelong pattern of chasing success and confusing it with happiness.”

If this is true then Bradley would believe that people only think highly of you when you are successful and that you're not worth anyone’s attention if you fail.

It also might give Bradley more of a reason as to why he likes winning so much as he feels like it's the only way he can get constant positive attention from people if he's a always a winner. 

To me Bradley wanting to win all the time is like an addiction of his. He can’t just win once or twice , he has to keep winning every year even though he could just quit any time and let one of the other gamma’s compete for him instead.  It’s like he doesn't understand that your value doesn't come from your status or from your own achievements.  

This being said , it’s hard to know at what age Bradley started to cheat. His cheats are very child-like after all such as using rockets , marbles , fireworks etc. 

In a upbringing like this , if he felt pressure as a kid to be the best and was worried about receiving negative attention from failing , I could certainly see him cheating and then feeling good from the attention he got when he got away with it. Then continuing to keep cheating into his adult hood. But it's hard to say when he started to cheat really?

Or maybe his dad told him it was okay to cheat, who knows?

Now it's not clear if Bradley is given high expectations when it comes to his studies , but I do think he was influenced to take part in sports and to be good at them. 

From what we see he plays 

snooker 

Volleyball 

skateboarding 

And in the X games we can see that he can cycle and roller skate. You also don't get a body like Bradley’s without being athletically fit and healthy.

Not only would sports elevate Bradley’s success but it would also elevate the family's success, making their family look more superior. 

We also have to remember that with royals in real life ,  it is common for them to attend , host or take part in sport events. 

The Royal Family and Sport | The Royal Family

So sport and royalty go hand in hand really. 

Makes you wonder if his father was also a sports champion too, doesn't it ? or if he invests his business money in sports. 

Well that's all i have for part 3.5 

I don't really have any evidence for any of this hence why it's more of a bonus post but it was still something I wanted to add for the sake of consideration and debate as this series of posts is just speculation at the end of the day.

The only thing we know for sure about Bradley’s backstory is that he grew up super privileged from having a royal title and that’s pretty much it. But in a way it's kind of nice for fans to come up with their own interpretations.

Thanks for reading. 

[andromedasummer]

do you have any tips for someone that is very socially anxious and awkward, and also that has to do everything alone, on how to start working out for the first time? idk if you feel like this question isn't appropriate for you to answer or not, but i recall seeing you talk about a while ago getting back into exercise and now you keep up with it regularly. i always have a hard time starting cause i can't hold myself accountable for anything, but then i also have no friends to go with as a way to hold me accountable lol, so idk. what motivated you to take that first step?

for me it was that, back in 2018, my hall was at the bottom of a very large hill and my uni was at the top of it. walking up that hill was a nightmare that took upwards of 40 minutes for me. there was a bus that went up and down it but the problem was, it was $2 every time for a 5 min trip and i was on a student allowance. that money added up every day and my friends were always walking up there but i couldnt. so i decided i wanted to get fitter so i didnt have to spend that money.

from there i downloaded a random 30 day exercise app that i dont even remember and did 5 minutes of exercise a day from there. theres a lot of them on the app store that give you a set of exercises at a low difficulty and add one or two reps each day. i did that, while also walking around town for a few hours every day to try and get 6,000 steps a day, then 8,000 and then 10,000.

for me it was easy to stay with it because my goal wasnt losing weight. it was getting up that stupid hill. i would get faster and faster until finally i was walking up it in 20 minutes like my friends. i left that hall years ago, but i still use that kind of reference. i want to be able to finish my neighbourhood walk in a set amount of time, so i work out and increase my exercises or the intensity every day.

the app ive used for a long while is fiton. it has downsides like not being able to listen to music because theres a trainer that runs throuhh the whole thing and upsides like whole programs and professional trainers and athletes that create the videos with multiple having different body types (trainers who are fat and fit, muscularly built women and etc). the only thing is it can feel weird exercising alongside a person, even on a screen, and it took some getting used to for me.

you got to start small if youre going into it having never exercised before. for months i only did 5 minutes a day and that was enough to make a difference in how long i could jog for and my general stamina. your body has to be given time to condition itself. exercise isnt just strength and cardio, its also flexibility and balance, because your muscles need time to relax and lengthen.

you dont notice the change physically for like, 10-12 weeks, which is why so many people who focus on losing weight give up. because at first you actually gain weight, because youre gaining muscle before youre burning fat. its why the best thing to do is give yourself a goal, whether thats being able to jog for a minute straight and then working up from there or being able to do 100 squats a day and working towards that point.

plus 5 minutes is easy to do and less daunting than 20 or 30 or even 40 minute workouts. i dont do 40 min workouts! fuck that! i just do 20-30 minutes every day. and if im not feeling up to it i got for a 10-15 minute one because a little is better than nothing. hell, i was in so much pain last night i didnt do my cardio or strength. i just did stretches and that was it because fuck making myself feel worse.

its not easy by any means but you can do things to make it easier for you. setting achievable goals, finding an app that will send you notifications, doing smaller versions of moves (i still do wall pushups. i hate actual pushups and if i try i just will stop. by doing wall pushups instead i actually am working out and not getting mad.)

exercise is also easier if you enjoy it so if you find you dont like doing this kind i would recommend looking into learning dance through youtube or a class (ballet, swing, etc) or just doing a bit of swimming every day. swimming is REALLY good for you like crazy good. if you dont enjoy it you wont do it so focus on the stuff you enjoy. hell you could pick up a martial art! karate, fencing etc!

im not like, an exercise expert by any means so definitely do your own research. but this stuff i wrote here is what helped me start exercising and it really changed my life, a lot of people dont recognise me because i look very different now. ive found a lot of confidence in feeling strong with how much i love strength exercises and though i could definitely work on my agility and stamina im really glad i started exercising because the bonus to my general health has been huge. I'll never be stick thin and i dont really feel the need to be? i just exercise because it feels good and its fun. i hope you can find something that makes you feel a similar way!!!!

[soulsdontbreaktheybeeend]

What I need to get off my chest about Joker 2

When I left the movie theater I was incredibly angry and disappointed. Now, a few days later, I still am, but it feels like I shouldn't be.

Todd always wanted a different Joker. Something close to reality. He achieved that in the first movie. And now even more so in the second. As painful as it is, as bitter as it is, because we love Arthur. But it's absolutely realistic. That's what tugs at my heartstrings. I've always sympathized with Arthur because of his story and the messed up society. I still do. But that's also what feels like a huge slap in the face throughout the second part. All the scenes from the first movie where you feel sorry for him are nothing compared to the sequel. It couldn't be tougher. Close to reality.

If I could have wished for it, Lee would have been understanding and loved Arthur and not just Joker. If I could have wished for it, she would have been the classic psychologist who actually falls for him and breaks him out. All that drawn out in one long ass movie. In a psychological depth, like the story in the first movie. They break out at the end. The end. That was my dream ever since I heard that there was going to be a Harley Quinn.

If I put my own ideas to one side, then the plot of Joker 2 itself is admittedly really brilliant. It's always been bad for Arthur. All his life. And Joker 2 just goes one "better" in that respect. Really bad, so that it just hurts and leaves you depressed. Because, unlike the first movie, he doesn't get his moment, he can't show off. He can't "shine". None of that happens and it's just a horrible downward spiral for him. Which is indeed just realistic.

I found some of the movie too modern. Nothing against Lady Gaga, I thought her performance was good, but her botox lips distracted me. She generally seemed too modern for the time. I felt that way about some things in the movie. Even Sophie seemed strangely too modern this time.

In general, the whole movie was so wild, rushed, sometimes mixed up and then somehow without that certain something, something was missing. The depth. Joker 1 had so much depth. There was so much meaning in every scene. I missed that this time. Arthur wasn't very tangible for me. And every time I thought, now it's going to happen, now I'm getting the feeling that I can grasp him, I can feel him, then I was ripped out again. I don't know if that was the general intention, so that you don't sympathize with him as a murderer in a realistic way. And I don't know if it's just because I haven't seen the sequel a hundred times like I did the first.

Also this guy who then stabs him. He has what... 3 short scenes in which he's in, keeps an eye on Arthur and grins slyly? Makes no sense? But then again, that's the "irony" of the movie. He comes out of nowhere, like Arthur himself. Maybe he watched everything Joker did on TV in prison. He idolizes him and his deeds because he too feels neglected and unseen by society, obviously mentally ill. It's fucking my brain.

I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel. This realism of the movie and all the fiction I've experienced with Arthur put me in an incredibly difficult situation. It's like head versus heart. My head understands why they chose the plot and it makes sense, but my heart is angry, disappointed and broken.

I don't know yet if I will watch the movie in a cinema again or not. I kind of want to, to get more details and stuff, but on the other hand I don't know if I can take it.

I hope I will find the muse to make a few edits. I would love to write again. Like that whole thing how I wished it would've happened. Or like idk he survives and y/n and him meet at the hospital. But it just seems stupid rn and I'm still not finished with processing it all.

[hath-e]

Jona Basta and the Gundam Narrative and how the existence of these 2 showcase Gundam NT's main point, or I talk about Gundam NT part 1

Gundam Narrative (the movie) on a both narrative (get it) and meta level approaches the Gundam franchise with a single point, having to live in someone else's shadow sucks.

(Obviously huge Gundam Narrative spoilers ahead)

I will go into every single main character in the movie and the mentioned Meta elements, but first I'll start with the protagonist:

Jona Basta, a war orphan turned a experiment by the Titans, not even good enough to be turned into a Cyber-Newtype, he's a unremarkable soldier for the Federation, more than likely choosing this path as his upbringing left him with no other options and one of the 3 Miracle Children he's the one without anything, while Michele is now working for Luio & Co. and Rita is in the Phenex, Jona is an ensign who's only here because Michele won't trust anyone else with the operation. He however is also set up to live in the shadow of Banagher Links, a young man with no achievements to his name is the next in line to deal with the Psycho frame, and yet he fails, and has to be saved by Banagher. Jona is also still stuck up on Rita which is his main driving point, to the extent that at the end when she leaves for good Jona loses all will to keep moving forward, and if it wasn't for Banagher he would have probably taken off his helmet there in the cold abyss of space, it's very clear that he's depressed with Rita being the only thing in his life being even worth looking forward to, and now that she was gone together with Michele the only thing that could convince him to not end it all just yet was the living embodiment of hope Banagher Links who tells him that even though he's alone now, someday that will change.

Now onto the RX-9 NT Gundam, or Gundam Narrative, the original prototype testbed for Amuro Ray's RX-93 v Gundam, a unit that's not even deserving of it's own armor, a unfinished suit never meant for combat that was brought around only because of it's usage of the Psycho Frame and because Michele managed to install the NT-D system on it. Just like Jona this suit was never much, completely unremarkable forced to exist in the shadow of the Gundam made for the White Devil himself, the hero who stopped Axis from freezing the Earth. The narrative isn't even good enough to have it's own primary weapon with the rifle it wields being a repurposed Beam Rifle taken from a Jegan. The suit itself also doesn't look like much, it's unfinished missing armor and not even featuring a panoramic cockpit pod, instead using a core fighter, it was outdated back when the RX-93 was being made and it most certainly outdated in UC 0097. It doesn't even survive the movie as it's shot to pieces by Zoltans Neo Zeong II and if it wasn't for Rita Jona would have died along with it.

These 2 serve as the perfect setup, they are on a meta level, rejects forced to pick up the slack for the mess made by other rejects, most notably Zoltan Akkanen, or the guy who I'll talk about tomorrow, along with the Taxi scene in Gundam Hathaway, the day after, Michele and Rita and something more about Hathaway.

(Image source undercut)

https://fanart.tv/movie/553610/mobile-suit-gundam-narrative/?section=wallpaper

[geekgirles]

Unhappy Campers: an Honest Review

I’ve been impatiently waiting for this episode all day. I even spent the last two hours before it premiered constantly refreshing YouTube to see if it had already dropped, so it’s fair to say I was very excited for this episode thanks to the sneak peeks we’ve been getting over the months. On the one hand, because it promised to introduce Barbie Wire into the show at last, and on the other hand, because it promised more Millie screentime as well. 

And while it definitely delivered on both things, I can’t help but feel Unhappy Campers is actually one of the weakest episodes of the show. Or at least of season 2. 

My main problem with the episode is that the conflict feels rather forced to me. Not the Blitzo/Barbie Wire conflict, since at this point Blitzo’s sister hating him despite how much he seems to genuinely love her and care for her is pretty much on brand with this show and his character, but the M&M conflict.

It just feels like it comes completely out of nowhere, you know? Like it just doesn’t add up with the rest of the show. At least, compared to Moxxie and Millie’s characters and interactions in every other episode. 

You could say my main problem is that what goes down during the episode would work if this were a separate episode, completely unrelated to the rest of the season, sort of like Queen Bee. But the thing is, it’s not supposed to be its own thing, it’s supposed to be connected to the rest of the story, so it ends up feeling very incoherent with what we’ve been seeing so far. 

It’s obvious from the very beginning that Moxxie is going through an Acquired Situational Narcissism moment as a result of this being his first case where he gets to lead, meaning he expects everything to go his way just because he gets to be in charge. Everything Moxxie does in this episode is a desperate attempt to reflect how important he is feeling at the moment, instead of taking the best, most practical course of action. 

That is to say, listening to Millie and take care of the murderous teenager who’s clearly very bad at keeping a low profile.

This goes from his Moxxine persona, a typical Alpha Bitch type who would have everyone wrapped around her finger...

...to trying very hard to win everyone at camp...

...especially by presenting himself as better than everyone else in order to become popular.

Only to fail miserably because these kids for once aren’t your stereotypical sheep looking for a mean-spirited leader to follow. No, they aren’t impressed by a fake attitude coupled with a presumptuous confidence and thinly masked condescension, but by actual talent and charisma. 

And who happens to have that? 

Millie, or Millerd, in this case. 

So while Moxxie’s trying desperately to get these kids to like him and become popular, Millie is achieving just that effortlessly, while making her husband increasingly envious of her popularity at the same time. 

Now, this in itself isn’t a bad premise. Most shows have at least one instance where one of the main characters is more well-liked than the other, who becomes frightenly jealous and petty as a result. In fact, this would work if it had happened between Blitzo and Moxxie, for example. 

But it’s the fact that Moxxie is feeling jealous of Millie, his wife, that to me this sort of feels like it comes out of left field. 

Basically because so far Moxxie and Millie’s marriage has been nothing but perfectly harmonious and equally loving and supportive. Moxxie has always been Millie’s #1 fan and supporter, so I find it a bit hard to believe the same guy who stood up to his intimidating in-laws because they were unfairly reprimanding his wife for a mistake on their part would now grow jealous and petty over others appreciating her many talents. 

No matter where you look at it, this is just entirely out of character of Moxxie. Not only because he would never be so resentful of the love of his life, but because Moxxie just isn’t this self-centred. Even when he was struggling to keep up with Striker in The Harvest Moon Festival, it was only because Striker and Millie’s family kept looking down on him and he wanted to prove himself. It was never a matter of stroking his own ego. 

And then, there’s Millie’s side on the matter. 

As I said, it’s great that we had some more Millie screentime and that she expressed needs and wants of her own for once, but the problem is, I personally feel like they come out of nowhere and fail to properly connect with anything that’s already been established. 

Millie says she feels like she’s important and someone to be proud of for once, which hints at some deeper insecurities that are worth being explored. Unfortunately, these insecurities are being introduced now, after a season and a half, so there isn’t really much that would make us understand her outburst here. In my opinion, it almost feels as if Millie’s character has been so perfectly content with her life overall, never showing signs of having any kind of issue of her own, that now that they need some drama, the writers just have no idea what to do with her in order to achive that. It’s like they’re now adding toppings on an already cooked pizza, if you know what I mean.

And the funny part is, this is actualy easily salvageable! 

Literally all it would take to make this more coherent and better woven with the rest of story would be to link Millie’s outburst to her family life. No need to suddenly turn Joe and Lynn into abusive parents, because we have enough of that already, but they could have played with what they already had. 

While the episode itself didn’t dwell on it, as it was a Moxxie episode, Millie’s interactions with her parents and Sallie May hint at some sort of favouritism towards the latter because she is a better assassin--in the sense that Sallie May at least doesn’t seem to get carried away with her killing and is smart enough to hide the bodies of her victims. Also, in their parents’ eyes, her life in the farm is more stable than Millie’s job as a free-lance, which they don’t even understand how it works.

 Joe and Lynn are very set on their ways regarding how people should be killed: with your bare hands or using melee weapons, you can’t be sloppy and let your guard down, be smart about it... Qualities Millie doesn’t follow one way or another: her husband isn’t physically strong and prefers guns, she lets her emotions get in the way and hinder her kills, she forgot to cover up nine deaths in the last Pain Games she participated in...

Really, all it would have taken to fix her feelings on the matter coming practically out of nowhere would have been a little mention to her home life and how she feels she never measured up to her parents’ expectations of her and now she’s finally being validated for being who she is. 

Instead, we’re left with an episode whose premise only makes sense as a stand-alone or with a different set of characters and where the only cohesive thing is another person from Blitzo’s past hating his guts. 

Anyway, this is just my opinion and everyone is entitled to their own. I don’t know if I’m alone on this one. Thanks for taking the time to read this nonetheless.

[iammiracl3]

Power of 369 Manifestation Method

What is 369 manifestation method?

The 369 manifestation method is embedded in the belief that the universe operates on the law of attraction, a principle suggesting that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person's life and their relationship. 

The system itself revolves around the mystical figures 3, 6, and 9. These important figures are frequently cited as the key to unleashing the universe's secrets.

The 369 manifestation is related with the world known scientist Nikola Tesla. Tesla was prominent for his groundbreaking contributions to electricity and magnetism, and Tesla was also known for his attractiveness with figures and their mystical significance. The 369 manifestation method draws alleviation from Tesla’s belief in the profound influence of these figures, particularly the significance of 3, 6, and 9. As Tesla famously said, “ If you only knew the nobility of the 3, 6, and 9, also you would have the key to the universe. ” This system is grounded on the belief that these specific figures( 3, 6, and 9) hold a unique and important significance in the universe and can be exercised to manifest one’s solicitations and intentions.

The 369 method of manifestation is a mix of manifestation and numerology. It requires you to repeat your manifestation three times in the morning, six times in the Noon, and nine times at night for utmost effective results.

The power of number 369 

Before knowing how to practice this method let's find out why these Tesla’s 369 numbers are Known to be so powerful. The number 3 is related to connection and creativity, acts as a reminder of the universe's support in your manifestation journey. The number 6 shows inner strength and the ability to overcome difficulties while the number 9 signifies accomplishment and the achievement of goals. These numbers all together create a formula believed to increase and strengthen your manifesting abilities.

How to practice this method -

For practicing this Tesla 369 method you will need a manifestation journal for writing your goals and a pen .

Before writing your wishes you have to relax your mind and let go of any other thought that is coming to your brain. You need to focus on what you want and put yourself in a comfortable position before starting to write .

You shouldn't be thinking anything else when you're manifesting something.

The most important requirement to make your dreams come to reality is Repetition, Repetition and repetition .Consistent Practice makes things perfect, but the 369 method is pretty easy to DIY. Here's how:

1. Pick anything you want in your life (for example, "I am rich" or "I have a caring partner" or" I am having my dream job" or “I am having a good relationship”.

2. Now you have to write your wish 3 times in the morning.

3. Then, write it again six times in the afternoon.

4.At last you have to write your desires 9 times before going to bed in the night.

For example if you want to grow in your career to achieve wealth you have to visualise and write that "I am happily accepting a new job opportunity that fulfils my passion and increases my wealth."

You need to be consistent and practice this for atleast 45 days to see any changes and you can continue practicing it until your manifestation comes into reality.

Things you have to remember while practicing 369 manifestation method.

1.Set your intention clearly-

You need to find out what you want to attract in your life. You need to be specific about it because this is the most fundamental thing.

2.Stay consistent with your manifestation journey- 

Write your desires everyday as a ritual and try not to miss, but if by any chance you miss it start again where you have left keep you flow steady .

3.Visualise your desires coming true-

While writing just feel that you have already achieved your desires and feel it genuinely. Use your senses and feel it. The more real it feels the more substantial it becomes in reality.

4.Connect yourself emotionally with your desires-

When you feel joy, gratitude love and feelings about relationship while thinking your desires it creates a magnetic effect that directly connects with the universe and when you write your affirmation and feel it in your veins it creates an emotional conviction that attracts your desires with your each heartbeat and turns it into reality.

After doing everything correctly you will see the changes significantly but you have to remain open and observant towards the opportunities and keep working on what you want .

[pmpmyread]

2024 in Two Half Steps: Thoughts from a new writer on Tumblr

An end-of-year reflection on the pmpmyread x Tumblr experiment thus far, in the form of some yapping absolutely no one asked for, "for posterity".

While the creation of this Tumblr blog predates June 29, when I published my first JJK fic, I consider today to more or less mark six months since I joined the platform in earnest, as a writer.

A few days after sharing that first fic, once the high began tapering off, I vowed to make the conscious effort to refuse to play the engagement numbers game, judging it to be too slippery of a slope for the little it would yield, particularly for someone who is prone to slipping into the mindset of a mentally exhausting day job ruled by OKRs and KPIs as a measure of success.

"Watch number go up" would certainly not be the energy I'd bring to this endeavor.

Having said that, I did quietly hit a few neat milestones over the last few weeks, both on here and on AO3, and these little quantifications of how people received some of my writing over the last six months, modest as they may be, are only incredibly encouraging to me. Even after the recent cleanup I conducted on my followers list for what appeared to be bots/ageless blogs, I was surprised by the number of people I was left with on my tiny island of the internet.

If you follow me, if you’ve ever commented on, interacted with, or even just took the time to read something I wrote, thank you! I appreciate it more than words could ever convey.

Now, here’s a numbers game I'm willing to play, as someone who was struggling to get anything down on paper this time last year:

25-30 is the number of original/non-reblogged posts I shared this year. I didn’t know how to tag when I first started and I don’t really have it in me to hunt them lol. They were likely yap anyway. 17 of those were fanfics, 3 were meta posts/character analysis 11 Nanami fics (rookie numbers tbh lol), 2 Gojo fics, 2 Geto fics, 1 Nobara-centric story, and 1 Yuji and Sukuna-centric thing 5 gifted written works total, 3 of which I haven’t shared here. The presence of this metric is mind-blowing in and of itself because there was a time in a not so distant past when I would not dream of being confident enough to gift anything I wrote to someone. 6 Destiny fics, 5 of which were re-shares and 1 that I actually wrote this year. This is also an achievement on its own considering the terrible writer’s block and general dissatisfaction I’ve had with this game this year. I’m grateful for this small but mighty fandom and its talented artists that keeping it alive, in spite of everything. $17.15 is the yearly hosting fee for the OC writing blog I registered a couple of years ago. Now that I’ve finally found my spark to write OC again, thanks largely to my fanfic endeavors, I can finally justify its expense LMFAO.

If you’re a writer or really just any kind of creator on here, I encourage you to take a short trip down the soon-to-be memory lane that is the year 2024 and take stock of what you’ve created this year. Zooming out to view your broader personal progress and accomplishments is crucial for maintaining motivation, reminding yourself of the “why” and of the passion behind your efforts. We truly only do this for the love of the game!

If you’re a reader and you’ve made it this far (here’s a medal lol), thanks again for being here, I hope this can serve as a small glimpse into the journey behind this account. I admittedly run this blog a bit like my social life lol; long periods consisting largely of keeping to myself, punctuated by short bursts of high social energy. That said, I’d definitely like to get to know you more in 2025!

Finally, if you’re someone who sits in between these two categories, here’s some food for thought: In the initial six months of 2024, I was only silently reading the wonderful works others bravely posted on here, hovering in that awkward area between a desire to share my writing again and an aversion to being perceived.

It was exactly halfway through the year that I took a chance to post something for the first time, and though I was nervous in the moment, it was the most freeing thing. Mainly because I did it and I didn’t die lol.

If you feel that nagging from an idea you have, and that flame of creativity, if you’ve been eyeing that half-completed outline, or even just have some scenes replaying like a movie in your mind, I hope you know that you already are a creator.

At the risk of sounding corny, I’d invite you to consider this upcoming new year to be a blank page and try putting pen to paper for some of your ideas, and see where it goes. If you’re so inclined, create a post, tag it and send it off to the world, whether here on Tumblr or elsewhere. It may feel daunting or even a bit scary, but I promise you’ll feel accomplished and relieved to have finally tried it. And when you do it once, it’s always easier to do it again.

Just please do remember to do this for yourself and for your enjoyment first and foremost, to find your own voice and style and to resist the urge to compare your journey to others’. The best way to dismantle the thief of joy is to prevent it from sneaking onto the premises in the first place. The rest will follow. 🩵

As for 2025, I do have some aspirations for this blog, though I refuse to label them as resolutions LOL. I want to explore some more ideas for JJK and D2, I want to incorporate my underrepresented identities into my stories, I want to start cross-posting my original content over on another dedicated Tumblr page, I want, I want, I want...

I don’t know how much I’ll realistically get to, because life is life and I am also looking to make some rather big moves next year. Tumblr is only a small piece of my writing journey which itself is only a small part of my busy day to day, but all in all, I am so pleased to have re-engaged with this hobby on this platform.

For all of its flaws, Tumblr has a distinct flavor in its interactive element that I have yet to see elsewhere, it’s connected me with wonderful people, provided a much-needed creative outlet, exposed me to wonderful works, and helped to keep me grounded during what was an otherwise pretty hectic year.

Thanks for reading, and I wish you a safe, healthy and very happy New Year!

(I listened to the Comic Bakery Title song while writing this. My future self will get the reference hashtag posterity)

[authorjoeypaul]

PLANNING YOUR YEAR

Firstly to those who celebrate, I hope you have a great day with friends and family. I'm planning to have a quiet day at home, which is pretty much the only reason there's an actual post today and next week. I also didn't wanna leave those who don't celebrate with nothing to read from me. So with that said, let's move onto the post!

There's a week left of the year and of course those of us who plan are looking to get goals set, and deadlines pencilled in and things to get done when and where, and I wanted to give you my thoughts and some tips, on planning your year. For those who don't know, I do a mixture of digital and paper planning. I have a planner where I do all my monthly spreads and the like, but I also love using my ipad calendar as a way to have a longer look at things throughout the whole year itself.

I don't generally plan out my year in one go, but I will do a few months in advance on the ipad just because it's a lot easier to work out what goes where if things are to change, and it allows me to see, at a glance, just how busy each month is going to be. I do make yearly goals on my Authortube channel (found here) and I will do a check in here on the blog around June/July time to reach see how I'm doing on those goals. They'll feed into my monthly spreads, my weekly goals and all the like, as well as get put onto my monthly to-do list that I keep on a private blog.

So with a week left, I have to be pretty much set up, right? Yes in some ways, no in others, because everything is subject to change. I have my January all planned out in my planner, and I have planned on the ipad up until May I think because of some deadlines that are coming up. So what are my tips when it comes to planning out on a large scale like a year?

#1 KEEP IT SIMPLE

This might seem like an obvious one. It might seem like I'm teaching my grandma to suck eggs, but you'd be amazed at how many times I see people planning everything down to the day of the week they're going to get things done by, when they either don't know really if that's feasible, or whether they'll even have time to get it all done. I'll talk more about starting small in a moment, but for now you have to remember that a year is a very long time. I know it doesn't always feel like it, it can feel like the days are whizzing past but twelve months has a lot of time for things to change, for things to happen that you couldn't plan for, and for hiccups to come along the way that knocks all that careful planning out of the window.

So my first tip? Keep it simple. Plan the things that you know aren't going to change, and keep things flexible as well, which I'll go into more detail about in a moment. The last thing you want to do is overwhelm yourself and end up a crying mess by January 15th or something. Take what you know has to get done, and add in a few bits and pieces here and there, while also keeping in mind other things that can't be missed, moved, or avoided.

#2 START SMALL

This is always a tip I give when it comes to planning. I know that I come across as highly organised and in some ways I am, but I also know that I only got there by starting small. I didn't ever do more than set goals that I might be able to reach, and I didn't overload my plate because I knew that doing that would just leave to upset, stress, and the possibility of me falling flat on my face when the next year came around.

You don't want to pile up stress upon stress upon stress, and while I get that you want to actually get things done, there's nothing wrong with starting small and then when you have a handle on things, adding bit by bit to allow yourself to expand your reach. There's no rule that says goals and plans can only happen in December/January, they can be started or added to at any point, so even if you want to achieve more than you feel or know you're capable of right now, start small, get used to it all, and then add from there.

#3 REMEMBER NOTHING IS SET IN STONE

We've all done this where we're pretty sure our plans are not going to change and we make plans, big ones or small ones, and then something huge lands in our laps and we have no choice but to cancel or adapt our original plans. When you're talking about planning out a whole year, you have to remember that nothing about that huge time-frame is set in stone. You could get sick, you could have problems that you've not thought of yet, and that's why as well as starting small, you should always leave yourself some breathing room.

I've done this. I've told myself that I would release this book then, and then had something massive come along to change things. I managed to pull things off, but the stress of it all really tainted the end result and left me with a bad taste in my mouth about how things had worked. So take it from me, don't assume that everything is going to go to plan, because like I said, twelve months is a very long time, and things can, and do often, change at a moment's notice.

So there we go, those are my tips and thoughts on planning out your year. I hope you have a good rest of the year, and I'll see you all in 2024! Happy writing!

Any questions? Lemme know in the comments!

Follow Joey here on her blog, or on Facebook or Tumblr to be kept up to date with the latest news regarding Joey and her books.

[burningexeter]

The Wildwood Chronicles

I've talked about this for what seems like to me, to death about this so I want to close the book on this and finally sum it all up because I finally have everything to say it about it in just one place.

It's now a full-on passion project that I really want to do, create and make a reality and that's The Wildwood Chronicles, an epic and ambitious adult-animated series that is a grand crossover between over hundreds — and I mean HUNDREDS — of media (movies, TV shows, anime, comics, video games) that retroactively establishes them all in the same shared universe all along.

Here is all the information, all of the notes/trivia/details, everything that I can tell anyone on this without spoiling anything about it because I'm keeping this shit under lock and key pretty much:

• The ambition with this project is anything but small. How I'd best describe it is a mix of Avengers: Infinity War (the last great MCU movie with only two exceptions afterwards) and Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino's greatest achievement since 1994) with the influences being not just those two but also Godzilla Minus One, Grand Theft Auto V, Red Dead Redemption 2, Gore Verbinski's Pirates Of The Caribbean Trilogy and the original Die Hard for many aspects of the series whether it'd the size, scope, scale, balance of characters, action, emotional moments etc.

• As for who's the lead and who'll voice him, the answer is Reese Miller both voiced by and modeled directly after Walton Goggins. When he's introduced, he's a down-on-his-luck, alcoholic, cynical, sarcastic and narcissistic schmuck with a criminal past who after an incident that caused his downfall had no choice but to crawl back to his family that he abandoned years ago and now has to deal with his ex-wife wanting him to do just one good thing in his life now and that's be there for his children. Only thing is it's on a certain day where his daughter is his that the main event that kickstarts everything happens and he's left in and later wakes from a months-long coma while his daughter, for a while, has an unknown fate. It's from then on that he becomes a man who is consumed with guilt and regret and is haunted by his past actions and the dirtbag he was with him wanting to and even becoming a better person in this world that's now falling apart. Unfortunately, all of the events that he's put through ultimately turn him into a tragic anti-hero who wants to see this world burn to the fucking ground and without giving any spoilers away, deals the final blow that seals this fictional universe's fate. Or does it? I seriously can't imagine anyone else in this role but Walton and Walton only.

• As for how it will be a crossover, not only will it be a sequel years later, months later, weeks later depending on which media but also it's a strong balance of differentiations. Some like the three here will be major players and have major roles....

.... while others will be surprise supporting roles or even cameo appearances from supporting characters like these three here....

.... or are objects and items that serve as easter eggs that imply or show they're in the same world as well like these beautiful bastards here.

• As for the actual show itself, it will be a 65 episode limited series event with a clear and more than definitive beginning, middle and end. I want the whole show to feel like one long 65 episode feature film while at the same time giving each episode their own stand-out distinctions enough to make them stand on their own. Top of all that, there will be no commercial breaks and every episode will be a full two-hours long with them being treated as events you can't miss. What makes this more special is that there's only one network I have in mind for this series and that's FX.

• As an added bonus, the show will be incredibly and viscerally violent and even brutal with its gore. Hundreds and hundreds of people, creatures, superheroes, supervillains, zombies etc. will be killed in thousands of different and horrific ways with Rambo (2008), Blade II, aforementioned Inglourious Basterds, The Night Comes For Us and Hard Boiled serving as the main influences for the violence but it's not shock for the sake of shock, it's to show that the world is now somehow more dangerous and visceral than it's ever been before and to show that absolutely no one no matter who they are are safe.

• As for who are the directors, I want there to be several distinct and interesting filmmakers to helm episodes but the main one who'll direct the most episodes for he's the main director of the series will easily be Gore Verbinski.

[maguro13-2]

War of Shadow ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 4 Pt.13 (2/3) ~

Moirai Albarn : Phew! I think that's the last one of them.

Waddle Dee : No doubt about it! Hopefully we just destroyed every single one of them being kicked in the d*ck! Not surprising that an army of Inky people were trying to take us down! But it's a good thing that we managed to take the army. But they will rise up again and I bet it's no surprise!

Inky Albarn : (growls angrily) You! You'll regret this one day! You may have beaten my army of lost ones, they would handle the power of Inky Darkness that will make Soul World in Nevada of becoming the new world of Bendy! But I'll be back and there will be no victory for you, but a victory for your demise and despair. But in this case, I'll let you go this time for a while.

Moirai Albarn : You have my word, and for the reason? That'll be this cause of your actions!

Inky Albarn : Quite certainly! Cause I will be having the last laugh when I fix my love's mistake and see how will they like it!

Rosalina : (broadcasting) So you're the one responsible for all the outcomes on earth, huh?Shame on you, Inky Albarn!

Moirai Albarn : Rosalina!

[Scenario : Navigation - Fumie Kumatani]

Inky Albarn : Well, if it ain't the b*tch of the stars! I see that you knew about my movements that you monitored every situation on the planet, you knew this exactly from the beginning and I knew that I was going to overthrow the Kusakabe legacy! So what if I did, after all, both you and the stars will be falling down to Earth, along with that Obversatory of yours, it'll be the hands of me that are red with all of your blood!

Rosalina : (broadcasting) So what's you're deal of taking down the grandson of the Kusakabe? Why do you think that he is the one that brought outcomes on the the planet? Why do you want him to be destroyed with all that power he got? More importantly, What do you intended to do bringing your courage to Bendy?

Inky Albarn : It's simple for me to Ask, the answer is that is about bringing order and balance to the real world, and the insane world that Bendy has left for me! I could bring a major conquest on taking over America, Japan, and the rest of the planet itself! Inky Darkness will be the blood of everything!

Rosalina : (polishing her nails while broadcasting) Oh, really? Let me tell ya something, Inky. When it comes to the insanity of your mind, a demon psycho like you couldn't bring order or balance, but others will. They will succeed in achieving of protecting this planet they live on and I will not let you going to destroy it, by your hands!

Inky Albarn : (chuckles) Oh, the irony! You really are too kind that will be the last of your hero's world and every inhabitant will make me their's! So long as you have courage of watching over the planet to not let it be destroyed, I could savor you a fact that you wanted everyone to stop me. So how about I make those stars a little taste like starburst? (Hears a warping sound)

Maka Albarn : Hey, sister! Sorry for the delays!

(the group turns and sees Maka carrying the unconscious Spartoi counterpart of her)

[Jaden Yuuki's Theme by Yutaka Minobe plays]

Moirai Albarn : Sister! Right on time!

Inky Albarn : Maka?! You? It can't be you! I framed you for good, I put the blame on you, I even made you the traitor that world would made a good riddance to you! But I...

Maka Albarn : Let me go? The Mobian Death God knew it all along. I knew that you were responsible for outcome on earth by the likes of you! You have no rights to frame the hero you're looking at! That's right, I'm Maka Albarn, the "real" Maka Albarn!

Inky Albarn : I see. Both you and Moirai are the daughters of that alien race, the Phantonians! Hardly to keeping your secret identity as the sworn protectors of earth, the Phanto sisters! But I guranteed that you are willing to risks your lives, fighting for your ideals! Humph! Doesn't matter now. But this time, it will be something different. You'll be part of the extinction event when I plunge the planet into darkness. Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen! By the way, there's one more thing to tell you this. Demon Vibe got his eyes on you, Maka. (Teleports away)

Waddle Dee : Drats! She got away.

Meta Knignt : As long we keep this up, we might get her chance another day to rule the world for herself.

King Dedede : Hope the queen will might wait to acclaim her Victory when the Grandson of the Kusakabe will be destroyed. (hears Phone ringing)

Waddle Dee : Phone call, Mrs. Albarn.

Moirai Albarn : (answers the phone) Hello? Oh hello. Say aren't you the guy that is responsible for the creation of Soul World? Oh yeah, I see. Hey, sis. May I recognize the phone that I am currently talking to, I believe it's for you.

Maka Albarn : (talks into the phone) Hello?

Shinra Kusakabe (via phone) : So, I heard that the hero of Soul World has been an imposter and the real one I'm looking for is on the phone.

Maka Albarn : Is this the creator of Soul World?

Shinra Kusakabe (via phone) : Yes, you are correct. I am the one responsible for your world's creation, or perhaps is the same world that I once lived for about 1000 years before my death. I was the one who created my man-made son, Death. And took the profounding body that proclaims to be the kid named Shotaro, the dokeshi that is responsible for the demon weapons' creation.

Maka Albarn : So I finally recognized who you really are? You're the person who really created Soul World? So where are you at?

Shinra Kusakabe (via phone) : Oh yes, I know exactly where I am currently at, right now.

Maka Albarn : Really? like what?

Shinra Kusakabe (via phone) : Like I'm currently looking at you, straightly face to face! (Maka turns and sees the Devil Chaos Chao piloting the Dark Chao Walker)

Moirai Albarn : Oh no, it's him!

[Advice - Yutaka Minobe]

Maka Albarn : What!? A Chao in a machine?

Shinra (Devil Chaos Chao) : Maka Albarn! We finally meet at last after my 1000 years of death. So, what did you agree on saving Real World AU, after you were framed for your actions against humanity?

Maka Albarn : No way...You're Shinra Kusakabe?

~ Sixty-Fifth Scene : The Creator's Return ~