#now it's just a parody of itself? like it just kind of doesn't give a shit anymore? no quiet times with mando and grogu?

[littlewetbeast]

how do you process how one of your favorite all-time shows has turned so bad it actually makes your stomach hurt a little

[olderthannetfic]

Until I read the comments on that one post I had no idea the Bechdel Test was a joke and wasn't supposed to be a serious measuring stick by which you gauged if something was feminist or not. Everywhere I'd ever heard it brought up, it was brought up as a very serious thing, and it was a failure of media if it didn't pass it. I remember the debate about Mako Mori from Pacific Rim and if she was a character you were "allowed" to like as a progressive person despite the fact that Pacific Rim doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, the discourse, the discussion of if the director was sexist for not writing in another woman for her to chat with about non-men related stuff, the camp of people trying to insist that having a fully realized character arc and being as developed as any of the male leads = good writing even if she doesn't talk to another girl...

And I've also had the remark about my writing not passing the test, just not to my face. I searched my fanfic's name once, curious to see if anyone was discussing it outside of tumblr and AO3, and found a Tiktok complaining about it not passing the Bechdel Test. The top comment was "motherfucker YOU don't pass the test but we still watch your ass". I cackled and moved on, but neither the commenter, poster, nor I had any awareness this wasn't Feminist Media Critique 101 theory and was, in fact, a goof.

Right now there's a segment of fandom debating if Blue Eye Samurai is feminist since when Mizu and Akemi talk, they do bring up men, since, y'know. Women aren't considered people with rights in their era in Japan and thus it's something they mention instead of only talking about being cool girlboss badasses who never bring up gender. If something doesn't pass the Bechdel Test, a smug segment of the internet high-fives itself and congratulates one another on being More Feminist Than Thou.

They then get really angry if you disagree, even though by this metric, Sleeping Beauty (the original animated one, where Aurora has only 16 lines of dialogue) is more feminist than Blue Eye Samurai.

--

*DYING*

Okay, so, nonnie....

Dykes to Watch Out For (1983-2008) was a long-running comic and major piece of lesbian media. I grew up buying compiled volumes at the bookstore. To be honest, that kind of 90s-ish lesbian culture isn't really my scene despite me being bi, but it was very nice to have this slice of life-y somewhat realistic, occasionally somewhat parody, look at the queer communities around me. It's up there with Tales of the City for me in terms of being a window into a particular culture and time and place.

If anybody is interested in queer history, in addition to looking up factual info, I think a read of the complete Dykes would give a really good overview of how people were thinking about things and what issues came up a lot. You'll see things like Barnes & Noble increasingly putting feminist bookstores out of business in the 90s, attitudes towards porn in lesbian circles—all kinds of cultural issues of the day.

I drifted away as I got later in my teens and found more genre fiction I cared about, but at one point, this comic was a very welcome antidote to the glurgey coming out stories that made up a lot of the more realistic media.

Anyway, here's the comic itself, reproduced in its entirety because I think it's important to actually understand the context.

This is from 1985, so the era of Rambo, Conan, and Death Wish, each of which you can see being made fun of here. It's based on Bechdel's friend Liz Wallace's actual rule for seeing movies.

That's it. That's the origin of this whole stupid test.

"LOL, fuck 80s action movies". That's it. That's the joke.

The fact that blockbusters still routinely fail to pass in the 2020s is shameful, but that was never the point of the strip.

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 3

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

PAIRING: FEM READER X ENHYPEN

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.

GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.

Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.

Do you accept?

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

READ THE FIRST CHAPTER:

"I'll wait for you to sober up a bit." Sighs Jay, laying towels on my arms doorways toward him.

I sincerely laugh, visibly nervous. "They call you mr. kindness?

"Look at your condition, doing it now…. - he tells me, lowering his gaze as he strokes my cleavage exposed by the plunging neckline of my humble t-shirt with his index finger. - It would be so easy."

"I don't have to if I don't want to." I remind him, dazed, now less by the alcohol than by him.

My breath is suddenly short, even though I'm not looking at his face I can see his neck, his pronounced jaw, the way his skin fills with breath, puffing up his broad chest, even too much seen so closely.

"True, but since you won't be able to refuse for another four days, I'd really take it - he explains almost in a whisper, as his fingers move over my neck, then pick up strands of hair to tuck behind my ear - on the personal."

"Not… care."

"Do you really want to lose your only ally here? In fact, the strongest."

I smile amused, isn't she going to have inferiority complexes or something? The situation in the house didn't seem that desperate at all, but it's true that I haven't spent even twenty-four hours in here and Jay doesn't seem like a fool to me, though, I mean…

I suddenly lift my gaze: shouldn't I think better of it instead? After all, I'm going to sleep with someone else sooner or later anyway, and it's not certain that "this" is intended as a bargaining chip for others as well - so if there really was a strange situation in this apartment, I could at least think of myself with an ally.

"Do you understand? You will give weight to my words when you see it."

"What's going on? I can still … try to get out of it…."

"That made you give up so quickly? And I was trying to persuade you nicely." He grins in surprise.

I shift my eyes in embarrassment. "You're putting pressure on me."

"I know." He says, and his hands begin to slide down my exposed arms. His touch is slow and heavy, I can feel every millimeter of my body under his fingertips.

"T-Then stop doing that."

"I think I will - he says. - If that's the situation, I should just take advantage of it, right?"

How? How dare he? First he offends me, then he calls me an object practically, then he decides to take such liberties, like lifting my t-shirt a few inches from my bra, and in all this, I don't react. It's not the alcohol, I know.

I can smell him perfectly, it's not perfume, he smells like a man. He hasn't showered yet, probably, but his fragrance is aphrodisiac as it penetrates my nostrils and seems to engulf me in a spell.

And to say they make a lot of memes about his hygiene - if only they knew how untrue it is!

Jay grabs me by the hips, lifts me onto the sink. Before he kisses me he looks at me, perhaps still seeking my consent, but my eyes are already full of him and I don't care enough whatever he thinks of me to pull back. I'm the one who instinctively pushes my lips against his, he doesn't pull back either, instead he tightens his tapering fingers behind the back of my neck, pressing my head against his face.

He bites my lips, caresses my hips, kisses my neck. I barely catch my breath between kisses, he's especially passionate, I don't quite understand what's going on but I feel like I'm on fire, like I have a fever. Deep down, I didn't think I could ever be in a situation like this, realistically.

To be able to see the pores of his skin, to feel his touch, to know what his lips taste like, it's all simply divine.

"Are you at least good at it?" He whispers, pressing his mouth to my ear as he clings to the elastic of my black leggings.

"Let's hope so." A shy tone comes out in my voice.

I hear him chuckle, it's pleasant, I don't know why.

"Hold on to me." He says, handing me his shoulders to which I meekly cling, he uses the opportunity to slip off my pants, I am left in my underwear in seconds. He looks into my eyes, then at my breasts, I feel it even fuller and more beautiful under his eyes, then he places his hand on my hip, grasping it.

"Don't… look at me like that." I whisper with shame.

"I like it to the point of annoyance."

I stare at him, feeling like smiling but for some reason not following my instincts. "Really?"

"I don't tell lies."

He unhooks my bra and caresses my modest breasts with his cheek. He bites the nipple rather aggressively, to the point that I gasp in pleasurable pain, but he abruptly uses his tongue to treat the wound, and only confused, stifled moans come out of my mouth.

"Really? From now on," I say, bravely sinking my fingers into his hair, clutching him to my chest for him to keep licking, to make me gasp like this, "if you tell even one lie, I won't believe anything you've told me."

"The all-or-nothing rule is fallacious, you know?" He asks, amused, as he sucks my breast, squeezes it, massages it.

I am completely defeated, voluntarily surrendering to his will.

After taking me in his arms like I don't weigh, he pushes me against the wall. We kiss again, and I am increasingly addicted. His kisses are impetuous, his tongue is expert, moving slowly, and as a few drops of pleasure slip between my thighs I can feel his fingers exploring my intimacy.

He puts in only two but they are enough to make me gasp again. I cling as if desperately, I don't do it on purpose, but it is hard to enjoy so much in such a position, and although his grip is firm and he holds me even with his leg as his swollen sex rests in my thigh, I still feel precarious.

He's different from all the guys I've been with; it's like I'm experiencing new sensations. It's not like I've never had a one-night stand with a beautiful boy, as in this case, and it's nothing more than that (aside from the fact that he is an established celebrity from one of the most famous bands in South Korea), sure, but maybe deep down I'm living every fan's dream of this guy.

I'm not a little girl anymore, I delude myself it's different but this situation is really dangerous, didn't the Hybe agents foresee this? I find it hard to believe that a rich, independent woman would still be able to handle something like this.

What if I became so infatuated with them that I wanted to ruin them? Well, maybe the Hybe goons would kill me.

But maybe that's okay, because then the woman loses so much value that she can never be anything to them - or even a problem for the company. What will remain will be the end of a delulu era and a few tears, but it will still be a funny page in my life, albeit a dangerously borderline one.

"I'll put it in, okay?" He says, pressing his lips to my cheek, he's laughing, still doing it.

I nod, lost in him now.

"You don't talk much, during…" He says, as I feel him rest his cock on my opening, then willingly let it slip a little between my large lips, which moisten it.

"I would just say - I moan, surprised to feel him enter suddenly and before I can finish the sentence, using my fingernails to grip his bare skin - obscenities."

"I want to feel them."

Man, man.

It's a little girl thing, isn't it? My heart is pounding.

I don't have time to notice because his pelvis literally punctuates the rhythm of my breathing, I feel him enter me with ferocity, it's as if he uses his whole body to pound into me, I feel full to my sternum.

I hold on tight, I don't want him to stop, I really don't want him to stop.

"S-Slower…" I try to say, slurring my words.

"And why?" He whispers amusedly, as if he already understood.

It sounds bad to say I'm desperate, doesn't it? I am desperate because of him, I never want him to stop, I need this moment to last longer, I want to feel him in my belly, along with the butterflies I haven't had in so long, he shakes them all.

He lifts me abruptly, to better weld his grip, but what I sense is only how he pulls his length out of me, inserting it again and abruptly inside me, trembling because of him.

My breathing is desperate, my gaze blank, he is desperate. He's not lucid either, I can see it in the way he squeezes his eyes shut, the way he breathes erratically, the drops of sweat that bead his forehead, too focused on the pleasure we are sharing.

Is the clock still ticking? I don't understand it, I don't know anymore.

"Ah… Jay… - I swallow, my mouth is full of saliva, like I'm hungry, resting my chin on his shoulder as his steady, assaultive strokes bounce me back onto him holding me by my thighs, resting his hands on my buttocks as he steals one kiss after another - more…more…"

"Please ask." He whispers so close to my ear again.

"Ple…please …"

He means it, maybe because I asked so pitifully, but he manages to go even faster than he has so far, and I don't understand how he doesn't sound the least bit tired after all this time holding me up.

I can't control my voice anymore, I feel him deeper and deeper inside me, the more he moves the more my breathlessness increases. It may be because he is a dancer, a professional, but what kind of stamina is this?

I can't even control my body anymore, I start to convulse, I need to stretch, he's going too fast, so fast I can't even hear my own thoughts. I see him take on a strange expression, very focused but also in pain. I am too focused on his beauty to realize it - ""luckily"" he notices and puts me down.

He's pulled it out, holding his majestic cock with his hand, breathing deeply. I am confused, guilty.

I was too involved to remind him that I take the pill on Hybe's orders.

I look at him wearily, as strands of hair dampened by sweat and the warmth of the bathroom, which normally shouldn't have such a high temperature without even having bathed, slip past my distraught eyes.

"Oh, what an ass." He says in a relieved tone.

"W-What?"

"I didn't want to come yet." He explains.

Yes, it's great, but I can't look away. What is… that stuff? Was it really that big? Is that why I felt it all the way to my sternum? Should I stop staring at it? I can't, anyway.

"Do you like it?" He asks, still holding it up and turning his body toward me.

Guilty.

"So what do you say…" with his gaze he points to his cock, big and veiny, perhaps the first I've seen of this kind, in Korea.

He doesn't say anything else, his smirk is enough for me to realize that I will bend on my knees, prostrate myself to him helplessly, it doesn't matter anymore who he is, or I am, there is nothing else in this moment, in the world.

It is strange, my heated skin makes contact with the cold floor but not a shiver. The heat is inside my body, burning like a forest has just been given to the stake, every inch of my skin is on fire because of him.

I can smell my scent mixed with his as soon as I take him in my hand, and as I languidly lift my gaze to his, Jay caresses my head. He doesn't push it, he doesn't need to, he knows I'll do what I can, I want my lips to be able to touch his pubes, although judging by the thickness and partly by the length, that will prove to be a tall order.

"Good." He says, as I begin to lick him, moving his hand from my hair to my face.

Why? That annoying fluttering again. No Amanda, don't let your daddy issues take over, deal with it in a mature way, don't brood over it.

I do what I can, it's not easy to take it all in my mouth, my hand tightens around the base, moving with the movement of my lips, for a second I swallow over half its length, and a second later I pull it out with difficulty, as lines of saliva build bridges between me and him. I want to go deeper, I want to have more.

I hear him moaning, differently than before, now he is not exerting any force, pressure, he is completely free to surrender to the pleasure and as he lifts his chin making almost guttural sounds, I can only continue, inch by inch, to have more and more.

Perhaps I don't want him to think me inexperienced, perhaps I want him to have a good memory of it so that I can once again take advantage of him, of his body.

When I suffocate, literally, because of him, I see him burst out laughing as gently pulls my head away from his sex. "You did good, now let me do it."

Did he laugh at me? I failed, I guess.

And so he grabs both my hips, spinning me around, this time my back is to him and I can't look at his face, a little sorry. At the same time, however, feeling him knead my ass, as his intimacy presses against mine again, reddened and swollen, because of him, erases all doubt.

"Are you on the pill?"

"A-Ah… - I stammer, continuing to do so in front of him, starting to annoy me - yes."

"That's great. You know, you shouldn't tell other people…" He advises me, though it doesn't have the dispassionate tone of a recommendation at all, but of threatening advice, as he plunges it into my humors, suddenly.

I groan, it's inevitable. "M-Maybe I will, m-m….maybe I won't…"

That no from me is enough for him to gather my hair, twisting it in his hand, tightening it like a rope, pulling it, but I feel no pain. "Now you don't beg anymore?"

He pulls me to himself, arching my back I can feel his size even more, inside my belly, inside my body. "No…"

Jay doesn't answer, at least in words, because he begins to charge animalistically into me, he is more comfortable, he can force his legs up and you can feel it all, the force I mean. My body bounces like lifeless on the rhythm of the song that produces his. Yes, because his every movement is music to me at this moment.

After long, intense minutes, what comes out of my mouth are inhuman verses, a mix of tiredness, weakness and total addiction. My body is devastated, because of him. I feel like convulsing, he holds me by the arms, I have my cheek resting against the now-warm marble of the sink.

I hear him gasp louder, then hold back, I know what is happening, I can feel it because my belly has just warmed up. After a long stream of warm pleasure inside me, Jay stays still, breathing or trying to at least.

I am exhausted, to the point that as soon as he slides out of me, I fall to my knees. I am devastated, physically as much as psychologically, because it hasn't felt this good in a long time, no, maybe it never has. It's a first for me, in a way.

"Are you… okay?" He asks me, as he lifts up his black pants, which have fallen to his ankles the whole time.

"Yes…"

"Really?" He holds out his hand to me, seeming to recover.

I still have his humors dripping down my inner thigh, but he looks at me as if nothing has happened. "Really."

Afterwards, he explains to me how to use the bathroom, we manage to talk normally, or rather, he acts normal, and this sincerely gives me the feeling of being a colleague, wanting to be nice. I spoke little, still in shock.

"If I'm already asleep when you come back, wake me up. I'll move."

"I'll try not to." I smile weakly, still tired.

"If you touch me when you sleep, it's okay. Just not too close."

"I'm not going to-"

He freezes me, puts a finger over my mouth, presses it so that I stop moving my lips. "Lock up, anyway."

When I walk him to the door, Jay heads to his room but I can't help noticing there's someone else across the hall, I turn away when I sense his presence closer.

"Have you started yet?" He asks, surprised but amused, I think.

"Ah…no. I mean-"

"Even if you are here for that, you could have waited a while."

I was wrong, I'm a pest to him, too.

It's not that I'm surprised, they may be handsome and famous, but they are men, and men are strangely too equal to each other, as if in an unspoken camaraderie. There will be different ones and there will be good ones, I'm sure, but I haven't met any yet, so they must be very few.

However, being a fan myself, I feel bad about it. I mean, it's normal for me to feel bad about giving such an idea to people I like so much. Besides, I had a different idea about him, I thought that he himself would be the least critical - but why did I think that?

At the very least, I reflect, seeing them like this will make the mystical and pure aura that hovers around them fade away in my eyes.

"I do what I'm here to do." I answer him, suddenly fearless, my pride is blatantly wounded.

"It was just a advice, why do you get hot?" Heeseung asks, laughing and moving closer.

"I'm not warming up."

He is one step away from me when he stops. "Don't wear it, I read it ruins tits." He advises me again.

I chase the direction of his gaze, right - even though I'm dressed I'm not wearing a bra, and judging by my nipples, it shows. "But…"

"You wore it before, didn't you?"

Now I look him in the eye, it devastates me but I try to maintain some form of dignity by remaining serious.

I am too embarrassed to realize how beautiful he is up close.

"What do you want?"

"I'm giving you another advice."

I step back into the doorway, not quite lucid enough for him to make fun of me, and no matter how much just looking at him makes me feel like the center of a tornado, he's annoying me.

Heeseung puts his foot in the door before I can close it. "You don't listen to advice, do you?"

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Actually, I feel my privacy has been violated by a stranger."

"Then ask them to send me away, maybe they will listen to you. You're quite authoritative, aren't you? You're Lee Heeseung."

He smiles, as if pitying me, but why should he? "By the way, you said you were a fan, who is your bias?"

Ah. I didn't expect this one, he really changed the subject, putting me in an uncomfortable situation.

Suddenly my hands begin to tingle and my body to boil-essentially, by spending time with Jay, I have normalized that these people in front of me are Enhypen, and that I am still obsessed with each of them.

Why am I blushing? Am I an idiot?

"I don't have it."

"Liar, you took a long time to answer."

"N-No, I mean it."

"Ah, you don't say that because it's really me?" He asks me, with an innocent expression and a dazzling smile, I seem to melt in front of him.

I giggle in confusion. "You wish."

"So you don't want to go against the others? Is that why you won't tell me? Look, I'm not a snitch."

Is he trying to convince me as if I were a child? Ah, that's annoyingly adorable.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because it seems like an interesting experiment. An engene, in our dormitory, to have free access to every member - she nods, raising her eyebrows convincingly, I continue to stare at the perfect shape of her smiling lips - she will try to conquer her bias, no? I'd like to observe him."

I laugh, genuinely. Can I believe that he doesn't know? Or is it precisely because he knows that he wants to observe him?

Conquer? But who am I supposed to conquer in my situation? It's hard enough to find a normal guy with an open mind, should talented kids who expect everything to be owed to them be?

"Are you kidding me?"

"Just a little." His laughter fades into a warm smile.

And of course, he knows.

"So why did you want to know?"

"Because I'm curious, by nature I guess."

"Then I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you'll never get an answer."

He removes his foot, not seeming at all impressed by my knockout response, but whatever, I close the door without even saying goodbye. Now that I am finally alone, leaning against the sink again, I look at myself in the mirror.

My heart is about to burst, my brain is the on the verge of its worst short-circuit, my muscles are trembling.

Did this really happen? All of this? With Jay? With his…body? And that fits into the korean standard? What about Heeseung? Wasn't he a little too handsome? I can feel it, at this rate I'll end up going crazy.

NEXT CHAPTER:

[sciderman]

The biggest sin of the Deadpool movies is that now everytime anyone talks about them or Deadpool in general, there's always that one prick who's like "C'mon, it's Deadpool, you can't take anything seriously with him, he's purely comedic and a parody" and it's not even because the movie aren't serious at times, but because the fans of those movies usualy have the literacy of a sleepy old cat.

i think a lot of people consuming media have quite poor reading comprehension, but that's just the way the world is in any place you go! we're snobs. not everyone is snobs like us.

buuuut personally i don't think the lens that "you can't take anything seriously" with deadpool is an incorrect one, at all. i think deadpool should be irreverent and playful - and i don't think it's a requirement for deadpool media to take itself seriously. in fact, i kind of wish we had more deadpool media that actually committed to the silliness of a comic book character knowing he's a comic book character. i think maybe gwenpool does it more successfully than deadpool does - but i can't say that with any kind of conviction behind it because i haven't read gwenpool either - i just get the vibe.

i wish the movies were smarter, actually. like, if they wanted to go down the avenue of comedy and parody, man... commit. be smart about it. fact is they kind of want a heartfelt romance and a tragic hero but they keep puncturing it with meta jokes and really, really dumb writing choices that mean you shouldn't take it too seriously. so they kind of don't succeed at either.

i don't think you're meant to take the deadpool movies seriously. i certainly can't enjoy them without switching my brain off entirely –that's not to say it's successful parody. because it's not. the deadpool movies are dumb. they are dumb. they are not clever parody, like... the airplane! of superhero movies. they do very little to subvert the genre at all - nothing clever. just a wink-wink-nudge-nudge joke here or there to say "haha. we played into that trope. it's clever because we're pointing it out."

aaand they're not a meaningful examination on what it means to be a hero or what it means to be in love or the concept of nature vs nurture or overcoming your demons or yadda yadda any of those themes that they kind of flirt over but don't sink teeth into. deadpool movies are dumb. we can't give them too much credit. they don't deserve it.

i think sincerity doesn't have to always suffer at the hands of comedy - no, no. i think good deadpool content balances it somehow. the lego batman movie balanced it too. clever media can do both. the deadpool movies don't (imo), so i think anyone who says "you're not meant to take it seriously" are totally within their right. i say it too. the deadpool movies can't really be enjoyed without turning your brain off. i have to do it too. if i think on it too hard, i'm disappointed. they are not clever movies.

[littledesertfox]

intro, I guess?

hii! I figured I should make a post like this even though I have a feeling it will be like super messy xD

I've had an interest in history, specifically World War II basically since I was a kid. It was only recently though that I found out that there's a community for it! I've always had a thing with expressing my interests in ways that may seem slightly odd to other people, so it feels nice to see that there are others who seem to experience this in similar ways :3

I want to make it very clear that I am NOT a nazi or rightwing in any way, and I don't want actual (neo-)nazis to interact with my blog, get the fuck out! Similarly, I don't want racists, lgbtq-phobes, ableists, religious extremists, pedos & zoos or people of similarly disgusting kind to interact! I'm literally queer and neurodivergent (undiagnosed/suspected bc getting a therapy place is hard :/), this is not a place for you!

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I've been a fan of the Downfall parodies on youtube when I was younger and recently relapsed into this fixation😭 I don't know if this fandom even really exists at this point since it seems that many creators have left in the meantime, but I'd love to talk about it, maybe I'll even get to write fanfics at some point. Also a short disclaimer that when I talk about historical figures that play a major role in the Downfall parody universe (such as Fegelein, Krebs, Burgdorf etc), it will usually be about their parody selves, not the real people! I'll try to clarify that individually if needed though.

I've also started lurking a little in the reichblr tag with a feeling that I'd describe as "indimidated fascination". Currently I'm mostly interested in some members of the Wehrmacht, but other historical figures that I had or have an interest in might come up as well. Overall any stuff that I post will probably go more into the lighthearted and humorous direction, but I'd love to bring in some more educational stuff as well.

My inbox is always open if you want to gush or ramble about your favourite historical figures or Downfall characters (both from the parodies and the movie itself) and such! Please talk to me about our shared faves😭🫶

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I get crushes on fictional characters and sometimes historical figures too, but that doesn't mean I support, condone or defend their worldviews or actions in any way (this applies especially to real people of course)! These "crushes" usually stem from a place of fascination with who they were behind their public appearance, I want to know more about them as a private person, like their hobbies, favourite food and other mundane things like that. Often it's also simply that I feel physically attracted to their appearance because I think they're handsome, either that or they give me massive gender envy (or both lmao). I don't really control on who I fixate like that, it just happens, but I hope that this will be a place for me to express those feelings in some way and find like-minded people. Though I also want to point out that not all my fixations are automatically also crushes! Usually I will mention whether they are or not, or you'll probably notice based on what kind of posts I make about them lol.

Current main historical fixations:

Erwin Rommel (I can't help it I just think he's cute ._.)

Fritz Bayerlein (he's the dude in my pfp lol, there's barely info about him but idk I just think he's kinda interesting😭 also yes he was actually bi)

Current main Downfall fixations:

Hans Krebs & Wilhelm Burgdorf (the otp ever)

Wilhelm Mohnke (ngl Downfall!Mohnke is kinda fine❤️‍🔥 ... idk maybe I'm just finding the actor hot though😭)

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If I encounter things that make me uncomfortable I follow common fandom courtesy and block tags or blogs accordingly. This is nothing personal, I'm just curating my own online space. I don't want to see any harassment here, neither towards myself nor to others!

Anyway I guess that's it for now? Idk if this is any good as an intro post but for now it'll have to do I guess😂 I'm generally not really sure yet in which direction to go with this blog (should it be more Downfall or reichblr focused? is there a lot of overlap between the fandoms? do they even get along? help😭). I also don't know how active I'll be in general, I'm also constantly jumping between thoughts like "yee this is gonna be fun" and "dafuq am I doing here I should feel ashamed about myself" but I hope to meet people who share my interests :3

[gravity-what]

GASP! Could it really be? The lost season 4 of Xiaolin Showdown is finally being released to the public! OH I am SEATED 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Kicking off the season with another 🤝👫team-building exercise👥🧑‍🤝‍🧑 from Master Fung, how classic! A lot of those in the show itself, so the opening slots right into the roster! Feels so real!

The different is that this time it's a team-building exercise that's meant to emphasize the team that's no longer composed of equals, since one of them is apparently their better and their superior now... Shaking up the team dynamic after all that talk about them working together as one by promoting one to manage the others, I can see why it's already going to Raimundo's head and he's trying to pull rank. He was sort of doing that already in season 3 before it was even official, so now that it's official, that 🤴"as your leader"🤴 talk is so so him, LOL... Mixing pulling rank in with one of the kids' usual bouts and adding Kimiko's hair-trigger temper into the mix too! 😡 And Master Fung comes in just in time to break up the fight and use it to segue into today's lesson! I can only imagine how many rewatches you've have of the series because that whole set up in the opening plays out exactly like it does in the episodes itself! That's so cool!

And I didn't expect a cameo from Megan again after all this time! 👧🎀 She's still the cutest! And the age-typical brattiness makes her even cuter! And Jack is cute looking after her! The Spicer cousins are being so cuuuute! 🎀🍥 And Megan even gets a part in the showdown a little like Dojo does sometimes! The powers that be gave Megan a better role than they usually give Dojo though.

I never even imagined that mochi-making could be a showdown challenge! 🔨🐇 Kimiko had some ANGER put behind those blows! Cute having her bring in something from her culture for the playing field today too! That's how you stack the odds! And it finally gave Kimiko a chance to show her expertise and show a situation where she gets to take charge and has the knowledge they need. Even in season 3's own Kimiko episode, they made her sit out the solution solving so Raimundo could have an A-HA! moment and tell her how to fix her mistake for her and that was so frustrating. This feels like it really fixed that!

Raimundo learned his lesson, Kimiko has been vindicated, Jack has been defeated, lunch has been caught and cooked, Megan had her fun time, all's well that end's well-- OH NO OMI?!

🥺😢 Poor Omi, I totally forgot he doesn't even eat meat! And so did the other monks! 😭😭😭😭😭 OMIII! At least Dojo is looking out for him. Best dragon right there, true MVP of the episode 🐉🔥🐉🔥

‘Championship Strikes’ feels like it's supposed to be a reference to something.... But I don't know a lot about video game franchises. (I don't even know what Goo Zombies is supposed to be a parody of in the show even though I'm sure it's probably something) 🎮🕹️👾 Can I ask what Championship Strikes is riffing off of? What kind of game is it? Is it sport stuff?

Those are super cute outfits for Kimiko and Megan in the title card! Their braids and hats and ribbons are super duper cute! Megan looks like a little adventurer and Kimiko is rocking that sporty look! Boys in the back all being kinda huffy or sad, meanwhile right up front are my GIRLIES! 👗👢👒🎀👚👟

If this episode was on a streaming service I could rate it 5/5 stars like it deserves, so here you go: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I’m so honored by this review 😭! I did my best to emulate an actual episode when I wrote this so I’m really glad that I succeeded!!

Honestly it was so much fun to bring Megan back! It felt like a good low-stakes episode to bring her back~ it was also fun to let her judge the showdown! Poor Jack though, he didn’t manage to win even with his cousin deciding the outcome.

The motchi making showdown came from me getting able to participate in a motchi making class allll the way back in February and going ‘this would make a really fun showdown!’ And it just fit so perfectly into this episode~ letting Kimiko show off while at the same time getting a chance to terrify Raimundo and teach him a lesson really was so much fun to write!

And Omi….oh Omi. He isn’t doing too hot after everything that happened in the other universe and in the hypothetical future he saw with Jack and now his needs are being forgotten too…At least he has Dojo looking out for him. Always.

And the ‘ championship strikes’ game is just meant to be a reference to a soccer game like the FIFA games! So you were definitely right that it was a sports game!

Thank you again for the fun review! And I’m glad you liked the first ‘episode’!

[maxwell-grant]

So, as a lover of superheroes, supervillains, super-science ETC, i've had Venture Bros on the mind recently, for reasons that should be obvious, and my mind has run into an intersting question I kinda want to pick your brain on: Why does Venture Bros work. Like, it's a show that is absurdly cynical and dark and bleak. It's comedically dark, but sitll dark. Downright mean-spirited a lot of the time. And normally, I find that kind of cynicism very dull, but...For some reason, here it feels like it works. Maybe it's just the sense of affection, of real love for classic 60s cartoons and superhero comics sprinkled throughout, but...I don't know, it feels like it should make me as angry as something like Velma does but it just doesn't. I don't know why. ANy thoughts

I said as much that a lot of that has to do with the fact that the show stuck around, and the characters were developed so vividly, that the creators had to answer the "...okay, so now what?" process, that usually stops those kinds of mean dark parodies right on their tracks when they run out of cheap shots to take. But honestly, going back and rewatching it? Venture Bros was always going to go there, the whole Jonny Quest parody thing just did not last past Season One, hell you could argue it didn't even really last past the pilot or midway through S1. By episode one of Season 2, the show had gestated into it's own thing. The show was allowed to grow, and change, and develop. It got to move past itself and say goodbye to old favorite ideas and say hello to new ones, it got to breathe new life into itself with the soft-reboot of Season 6 and keep being so much more with every new season.

The artbook goes into this quite a lot, actually, with Jackson talking about how Venture Bros started as a one-off gag observation about how Jonny Quest ripped off Tom Swift, and then became a concept when he realized he could fit all of his unused ideas for The Tick and superhero parodies and weird comic ideas. He and Doc Hammer actually specifically address how the parody element faded and why:

I like the pilot. It isn't the show that we made. but I like the pilot. The pilot was made with a different concept. I can watch it and not tie it into Venture Bros. I can go, "Okay, here are these characters in their first bid for comedy,", and it had moments when we both said, "Yes, we will perpetuate these moments. This is who these characters are." And it had moments of single-beat pilot jumps. It was fine. It was not the show that we kept writing, because we couldn't.

There's something about a straight parody that I think has a cap. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe people can write a parody forever, but I think you can only make so many jokes on one thing for a certain amount of time before you go, "We have to develop the world that these people are in.". It needs a revolving door.

You would need to approach it like Harvey Birdman, which said, "We're going to take every character we can get a license for, bring them onto the show, and have them do their thing in our world so we can demystify all the characters you remember from your childhood". It's a great straight-up parody. But if you take Sealab 2021 - that had nothing to do with the original. They took these drawings, and they said, "These are totally different people. We're going to give them their own different world, their own language, characters", and that worked.

We were leaning towards that. Venture Bros was even weirder because we said, "Let's make this world rock solid and deep and long and have just an abundance of information. Let's have the jokes come from everywhere, and the speed is hard to keep up with. You have to watch it twice". And that was nothing that Jackson and I talked about. Let's make this smart, rich and meaningful, and hope that other people have our sensibility and eventually get it. - Doc Hammer, Go Team Venture!: The Art and Making of The Venture Bros.

There's even this quote from Jackson regarding one of the earliest attempts made in trying to figure out the show's look and design where it was supposed to be animated in CG at Will Vinton Studios, and it was intended to look gorgeous as well as outrageously expensive and within six months everyone aboard had left and Jackson's time in The Tick was up so he had to get production on the new thing moving along. And he describes what wound up being a pretty effective summation of the show post-animation bump;

"Screw the bad-on-purpose sixties Marvel thing. Screw irony. Isn't it way more subversive to do this smart-ass, darkish comedy but have every aspect of it look gorgeous?

That's what got me thinking that it's way cooler to make things well and beautiful than to try to make them crappy on purpose - Jackson Publick, Go Team Venture!: The Art and Making of The Venture Bros.

Most if not everything that makes the show work, that makes it's character work, you can trace pretty directly from that process, of where the show started versus where it ended. It's Rusty Venture becoming a more complicated character and less of a mean caricature. It's Brock Samson needing things to do besides being the action badass who kills armies of disposable henchmen, and the show needing to move past him and make him so much more as a person. It's in how the show was originally conceived in a villain-of-the-week format and The Monarch was a throwaway gag character for the pilot, but The Monarch's defined personality and shtick worked well enough that it made it much easier and more rewarding for them to just go back to him for most episodes, until he wormed his way into becoming the show's other protagonist. It's Hank and Dean growing past literally and textually interchangeable and disposable Hardy Boys pastiches into actual people, distinct people, people who can carry their own plotlines and take center stage and actually be The Venture Brothers as something more than just a throwaway gag concept.

I'm certainly not saying it works for everyone, or that it works 100% of the time, again rewatching the show is putting a lot into perspective for me and a lot of jokes kinda did just age abysmally, but the show knows what it's doing enough to skirt by and avoid a lot of catastrophic pitfalls that usually happen with similar projects.

And really I'd say the main reason it works is, and it's never really just one reason, is because it was, and is, a painstaking labor of love founded on a marriage by two geeks (I'm not even exaggerating, that's how the two described their partnership at least a few times) shooting the shit at a treefort for nights on end, getting to do all these dumb voices that you only get to do with friends, laboring extensively for years on making this thing they'd created the best that it possibly could be, something they put all of themselves into again and again. It's them making a dozen different comedy duos voiced by themselves and finding ways to make each distinct so they can fit in all these dumb and lovely little conversations and skits, it's that combination of their skills and preferences and even disagreements. It's got that Asterix thing where the work is so inseparably intertwined with the partnership that made it, that the work's growth over time is tied to.

So honestly the best way I can summarize why I think the Venture Bros works is because it was 19 years of Jackson Pollock and Doc Hammer at AstroBase doing exactly this, just replace the cartoon sound effects with deep cut pop culture riffs and in-depth earnest extrapolations of why the comic books and cartoons they love and obsess about are deeply stupid on a fundamental level and why this something great that you can spin endless stories and scenes out of, actually no keep the over-the-top battle sound effects, those are equally important.

"Jackson and I, we'd go every day and talk and laugh and get to know each other and not even talk about the show, but just find out what our sensibilites were. It was like the process of falling in love"

We played darts and made up these little skits, much of it became The Venture Bros. It was all kind of based around this idea that Aquaman and Black Manta were not who they were but people that were much chattier and more social. It's almost like what The Monarch and Dr Venture became, actual people that have these bizarre jobs: chaser and chasee. This strange bureaucratic relationship with the paradigm of villain and hero.

I'm a goofball and name shit. Of course I named my studio. We took over the place and AstroBase as this entity - a really filthy fucking painting studio - became a creative tree fort. Owning the AstroBase is one of the things that made The Venture Bros.

A place where we could go at two in the morning and scream at the top of our lungs that had nothing to do with commerce. It was a clubhouse. A pure idiot invention. And if we wanted to stay up all night making costumes or rubber swords, we just did. - Doc Hammer - Doc Hammer, Go Team Venture!: The Art and Making of The Venture Bros.

[starclast]

INAZUMA ELEVEN: LETS PLAY FOOTBALL!!! ⚽🔥

Well, well, well...it feels a little weird to do this 😅 But anyway, lets start from the beginning.

Waaaaay back between 2013-2014, a new season of the Inazuma Eleven anime was airing. It was the now *well-known* Inazuma Eleven go galaxy season. Back then I kinda had heard the name *Inazuma Eleven* but didn't actually know or have seen anything about it (except from a parody/reference in another anime I saw before, but I didn't notice it until many, many years after 😮).

I wasn't really interested in a sports anime (because I'm not really interested in sports in general but oh well 🙄), but for whatever reason, I decided to give it a chance. I watched an episode, it was one pretty far already into the series (like 30 or something I think 🤔) so of course: I didn't have context at all of why were kids playin football against some bird aliens and showing off powers like if this was the Power Rangers 😶 But still, the bright colors and charismatic characters made me...actually kind of enjoy it!!? 😲

In any case, I decided to watch a few more episodes. Since I was pretty late into the season, I didn't have the backstory of the different team members and the reason why we where here in the first place, but overall, still enjoyed every episode 🤗 Sadly, at some points the episodes stopped comin to me so I couldn't see any more of the story 😢

Years passed and I pretty much forgot about the series (it was during this time that I actually learned about the existence of the original series and its characters tough ☝) ...until recently. You see, since last year I've been following a youtuber called: Rangugamer. It was actually tanks to him that I could finally watch the whole game of No Strait Roads (NSR) so I started to watch some of his other series too, then I noticed that Inazuma Eleven was one of them. At first I wasn't really interested in watching it but since I was pretty bored that time I decided to give it a chance.

The start was a bit rough because the story was pretty slow and the characters at hand didn't have that much of a charm but, as episodes went on and more jokes started to land better because of a better understanding of the characters and...out of hand dark humor 😅 ...I kind of started to like it! Similarly to what happened to me with Asagao Academy, since I barely knew anything about these characters, I could enjoy the weird out of character jokes and such that Rangu made every time and before I could notice it, I finished all his gameplays from the original saga!!! 🤗

And so, now that I had finished it, I decided to draw and show some of my favorites from here! 😄 (P.S: I drew most of them out of memory so some mistakes here and there may be found 😅)

First, lets start with no other than the captain itself: MARK! The prime reason why the gameplay series became so popular and more enjoyable overtime. Even if the *real* Mark is a lot more innocent and kind, its funny how Ran!Mark stills feels in the realm of canon whenever it comes to his adoration to football...Now I cannot her the word *FOOTBALL!!!* any other way 🤣

Jude is one of the few that I recognized before actually starting the series (what can I say? he is just so recognizable 😐). Since the very first time I saw him, I thought he looked silly with those goggles and cape...and to my surprise, he became my absolute favorite 😳 Poor guy had just suffered so much 🤧 ...both in canon and Rangu's version 😅 Sadly, this first try to draw him doesn't do him justice at all so, I'll try again and again until I feel satisfied with it 😤

Tooooriiiii!! 😆 I like her simple yet charming style and her endless cheerfulness. Definitely I would get along with her in real life 🤗

Shawn is a cutie. his backstory is sad (and it feels even sadder in the anime from what I heard 😢), but still he managed to move forward. Its a little sad he lost relevance in the third part of the story, but its okay, he already gave us a lot in the time he had 😊

Erik was...sadly not even present for most part of the story, so I missed a lot of his original backstory 😅 Still, his little problems with Sue during the second game and his *Oliver and Benji* moment in the third one where pretty enjoyable so, I wouldn't mind knowing more about him 😄

And finally, Shadow. The poor guy isn't even relevant to the main cast itself, but I simply love his design too much to let it just slide 😉 Besides, his *Kevin x Shadow* moment in the first game and the double Shadows situation in the second one made me laugh like crazy the first time I saw them 🤣

I'm currently still watching the go series so I may do more like these soon enough!! 🤗

[onebighappyaftonfamily]

HALLUCINOGENIC GAS MICHAEL AFTON FIC YIPPEE Chapter 1

No, no, no no no no no no no no no I’m so sorry I’m so sorry, Evan please- I can’t- I’m sorry- No nonononono-

A hand secures itself around his wrist, grip furious and bruising.

“I’m sorry about my son,” He hears someone say nearby, voice dark and low. An ambulance siren grows louder. He stares at his shoes. There’s blood on them.

Evan’s blood-

He doesn’t really remember what comes after that.

He tries to apologize. He doesn’t know if Evan can hear him. Father doesn’t let him stay in the hospital room for longer than a minute. He wants to scream. It’s not like he can make Evan any worse, he wants to say.

The heart monitor shrieks.

Maybe he was wrong.

Father drags him home. He doesn’t even look at Michael, but it’s for the best. Tears run down Michael’s face in a horrible parody of his younger brother. Michael stumbles to his room and throws himself facefirst down on his bed and cries.

He doesn't hear his bedroom door creak. He doesn’t hear the footsteps.

He feels the pinch against his neck, though, and when he tries to sit up something forces him back down.

“Wh-” He mumbles into the pillow, but everything goes black.

He wakes in a room he’s never seen before, on a bed he doesn’t recognize. A door on the left, a door on the right. A closet in the middle. He sits up.

“Hello?” He calls out. “Where am I?” He doesn’t remember anything since… since…

He gives himself a shake. He was in his bed, he recalls. He was crying. Then… nothing. Maybe he cried himself to sleep? But where was he now?

“How did it feel, Mikey?” a chirpy voice asks behind him, and Michael spins around to find a familiar yellow plush bear sitting on the bed.

“What?” He knows that Evan would claim his bear could talk, but Michael would just laugh and mock him, because stuffed animals can’t talk-

“How. Did. It. Feel.” The bear repeats, its high-pitched, cartoonish voice taking on a sharp edge. “How did it feel to kill your brother? My bestest friend?”

“It felt awful,” Michael’s voice teeters on the edges between incredulous and angry. He can’t believe that he’s having this conversation. It feels like a dream. “I didn’t know it would kill him.”

“Oh, Mikey!” The plush bear laughs. Its mouth doesn’t move, nothing about the bear is moving to suggest that it’s talking. Micheal picks the plush up to inspect it, but nearly drops it as the bear continues.

“I didn’t ask for you to say what you thought I wanted to hear, I asked for the truth!” It scolds. “How did it feel to have blood on your hands, Mikey?”

“I’m not lying!” he exclaims. The sound is definitely coming from the bear, somehow. He’d take it apart to investigate if he wasn’t so uncomfortable at the idea of destroying his younger brother’s most prized possession.

“Tsk tsk tsk,” the bear clicks its tongue, and for a moment the bear sounds like Father. “Come on, Mikey.”

“I did not enjoy killing my own brother,” Michael snarls, and sets the bear back down on the bed to create some distance between the two. “It was horrible. It was an accident.”

“This is a safe place, Mike,” the bear soothes. “You can tell me. It was incredible, wasn’t it? To feel the blood on your hands, to see the life drain out of him. To-”

“Stop.” Michael backs away in horror. If this is what the bear was saying to his brother, no wonder Evan had been so afraid of the animatronics.

“What’s wrong with you?” He demanded. “What kind of sick creature would enjoy killing people?”

The bear was dead silent. The quiet lingered as Michael waited for a response, an indication of something, but none came.

“Hello?”

“So that’s how it is,” The bear said in a cartoonishly sad voice. “I admit I was hoping for a different answer, Michael.” At his name, the bear’s silly voice dropped into a deep British voice that sent shivers of recognition down Michael’s spine.

“Father?” Michael squeaked. “What-?”

“It’s a shame,” The bear squeaked. Michael throws his hands around for a weapon, but his fingers only close around a pillow. He wields it threateningly anyway.

“What is going on?” He demands. “I heard my father! Father? What is going on?”

“What’re you talking about?” The bear giggles.

“I heard Father,” Michael repeats. He tries to address him. “Father, are you speaking through the bear?”

“No one’s speaking through me,” The stuffed animal keeps up its silly facade. “I’m speaking, silly!”

“No, I heard him.” Michael stands firm.

“Nuh-uh!” The plush replies, and the mere idea of his father saying ‘nuh-uh’ nearly crumbles Michael’s resolve.

“But…” He wavers.

“I’m your only friend here, Michael, even if you are a pretty disappointing guy!” The bear sighs dramatically, and Michael raises an eyebrow.

“You’re not my friend.”

“Oh, but I am!” The bear squeals in delight. “Who else is going to help you survive?”

“Survive?” Michael repeats, and one of the two doors behind him creaks.

He spins around to see a clawed hand slowly opening the door.

“What?” He gasps, eyes growing round.

“Better close the door, Mikey!” The bear laughs at him, but the instruction lurches Michael into action. Cringing at the fact that he’s approaching the clawed hand , he throws himself at the door and slams it shut. None of the twisted fingers get caught in the door, and Michael ponders at how the thing (whatever it was) had managed to get its hand out of the way in time.

“Look at the time!” The bear giggles. “Already midnight! You should’ve asked the right questions while you had the time, Mikey.”

“What? What does any of that mean?” Michael snapped, fumbling with the door handle. There’s no lock. Why is there no lock?

“Don’t be mean,” The bear scolds. “I hold all the answers, you know. You have to be nice if you want to learn the rules!”

“Rules? What rules?” Michael throws his back against the door and leans against it. The Thing on the other side wasn’t trying to force the door open, but he wasn’t taking any chances.

“The rules to the game. Rule number one, it starts at midnight!” The bear laughs childishly. “Why don’t you check the other door now?”

Michael turns to stare at the other door across the room. It was open a crack, and Michael can’t see past it. He swallows nervously.

“I…”

“And of course, you’ll need your flashlight!” The bear adds.

“What flashlight?” Michael casts his gaze around the room frantically and catches sight of a flashlight on the dresser by the bed. He leaves his post by the door and sprints for it, snatching up the flashlight and turning it on. He heads towards the other door.

He pauses. His grip on the flashlight trembles.

He swings the light up and through the crack in the door.

Yellow. Teeth. Glowing eyes. A bib.

He slams the door shut, then processes what he saw.

“Was that Chica?!” He shouts.

The bear laughs at him.

[vidreview]

VIDEO ESSAY ROUNDUP #3

[originally posted december 21st 2023]

here we are again! i've had most of this roundup queued for a while and just haven't had time to finish it, so the entries here aren't necessarily super recent. but they're still quite worth your time! so let's just jump right in.

"The Gaming Industry, Gambling, and Addiction" by GC Vasquez.

in the previous roundup i highlighted Jimmy McGee's series on the video game industry's ties to gambling. GC Vasquez has made what i think is an excellent spiritual companion to those videos, in that it approaches the same material from a decidedly personal place. the fact that the primary expected model for turning a consistent profit in the games industry (at least as far as companies like Unity are concerned, with the c-suite insisting that you'd be "fucking idiots" for doing anything else) involves pushing microtransaction gacha mechanics into every nook and cranny really cannot be criticized enough. but i think, even more pressingly, GC Vasquez points out that games have always included fictional gambling in the form of slot machines, poker tables, roulette wheels, etc, and that this demonstrably conditions kids to develop gambling addictions. on a lighter note, his video about why replay value in games doesn't matter as much as we think it does is one of those "finally someone put it into words" type essays.

"The Lost Majora's Mask Notebook | New Zelda Info" by The Hyrule Journals.

there are plenty of folks out there doing Zelda lore and history videos, but no one's got the stuff quite like The Hyrule Journals. Their documentary Line By Line, tracing the history of Majora's Mask's English translation by talking extensively to the guy who did the translation, is an excellent work of games journalism that revealed a lot of information previously unknown to me. The Lost Majora's Mask Notebook is a followup to that doc, sharing insights gained from the translator's own notebook kept during the translation process. it's cool! i would not call this A Great Video Essay necessarily but it's a good excuse to recommend an underrated channel.

"SEND IN THE CLOWN: a people's joker review" by let's talk about stuff.

oh this is a pretty cheeky inclusion, huh? one of my own videos? that's right, you got me: the whole VIDREV operation was just a shell game to goose my viewership numbers all along. the video is exactly what it says on the tin: a review of Vera Drew's incredible trans coming of age story / Batman parody film The People's Joker. i talk a fair amount in the back half about the novel ways this film got me questioning the cultural purpose of copyright and IP law, which is itself a strand of thought that began in my TUNIC review. if it seems like i'm always plugging my TUNIC review it's because i'm really proud of my TUNIC review and i would like for more people to watch it ("it" being my TUNIC review). anyway, The People's Joker is relevant now with the recent news that the film will be seeing wider distribution in the states come April 2024! so look forward to that, and to me undoubtedly plugging my People's Joker review yet again.

THE "DOESN'T NEED THE HELP" ZONE is kind of silly this time around since most of what i have to recommend is from channels that are doing relatively alright. my criteria for the distinction between does/doesn't need the help mostly comes down to vibes and subscriber count. if a channel has more than 100k subs, that to my mind means they don't need the help. this is not to insinuate that 100k+ creators are rich! youtube is a fickle mistress and everyone's revenue model looks different. i try to give precedence to folks below the 30k range, because that's where my channel's at and, coincidentally, where i tend to find the most interesting underrated creators. is it totally corrupt to put my own work in the implicitly-needs-the-help zone? call me out in the comments if you think this is a gross abuse of power.

"Playing Minecraft and Losing My Apartment" by Leadhead.

Leadhead has some great stuff, but this one hit me where it hurts. it's a video about escaping into the artificial goals of a video game at a time when personal disruption and chaos wrenches all sense of control over your own life away. i went through a pretty traumatic eviction myself back in 2021, and found myself totally incapable of making art about it. really nice to see someone else picking up that slack!

"Transition Regret & the Fascism of Endings" by Lily Alexandre.

another in a long line of bangers from Lily Alexandre, about how complicated it is to have mixed feelings on your own transition at a time when anyone expressing such emotions has their story weaponized against the rights of trans people everywhere. a lot of trans women in my life started HRT around 2017-18, and i've noticed a trend of folks in that cohort (myself included) trying to reclaim aspects of their masculinity from a safe distance by playing more with pronouns and presentation. i expect we'll be seeing a lot more videos about this in the years to come, and i can't wait! also: Lily Alexandre has some of the prettiest compositions in the whole video essay game. seriously, her color coordination and framing choices (and use of nonstandard aspect ratios!!!) are subtly artful in a way you really don't see very often on youtube.

"Should We Get Rid of Sex Scenes? (Part I)" by Broey Deschanel.

uh-oh, this one's a Nebula exclusive!!! i haven't really talked about Nebula on here yet, but suffice it to say it's an extremely important development in the business of online video. especially in this case, a video about sex scenes in Hollywood that quite literally could not exist on youtube under its current content guidelines! Broey Deschanel is a lot of fun to watch and makes some really great observations here. if you've got Nebula, it's well worth your time!

"Stop using Fandom" by mossbag.

if you have spent any amount of time in fandom (lowercase-f) spaces, you'll no doubt be well acquainted with how terrible Fandom (uppercase-f) is as a company and a product. this video digs deep into how scummy they are about filling wikis with intrusive ads, making alterations at the behest of private companies without consulting the people who manage said wikis, and their refusal to remove the wikis of any property whose community decides to migrate to another platform. one gripe i have with Fandom that didn't get mentioned is their outright ban on outbound links, which functionally murders any genuine archival usefulness a wiki might otherwise have. everything has to be in-fiction, which is just such a backwards and pointless way of doing things. they are systematically opposed to preserving community history and have no interest in fandom except as a money hungry middle-man between fans and IP owners. i highly recommend installing Indie Wiki Buddy on your browser so that you can avoid Fandom wikis like the plague they are.

"Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History" by Defunctland.

hey, did Kevin Perjurer just reinvent video essays? well… no, not really. but what he and his collaborators have accomplished here is a fascinating, impressive, and deeply odd intervention on the format which mixes archival footage, live recreations, and a "read along at home" written component to create an essay totally unlike anything i've seen before. honestly i really hope more essayists include supplemental written material in the future, especially with longer works where maybe not everything needs to be on screen! anyway, Journey to EPCOT is such a wild ambitious swing, and while i'm not totally convinced that it completely works i still have to applaud the audacity of the attempt. definitely requires a level of active participation that is well above average for youtube, not something you put on in the background if you actually want to learn anything from it, but definitely worth the effort.

"I kissed nuclear waste to prove a point" by Kyle Hill.

Kyle Hill is an educator on nuclear energy, and while i find a lot of his sillier videos a bit grating, i have nothing but praise for his work on historic nuclear disasters and the present day state of nuclear energy. it really can't be overstated how directly our general distrust of nuclear energy was kickstarted by fossil fuel companies, or how unambiguously illiterate the wider public is when it comes to the management of nuclear power plants and the disposal of nuclear waste. Kyle Hill here does a great job explaining just how unbelievably safe the whole operation is when it's well-funded and well-regulated, and stresses the inarguable fact that there's no source of green energy safer, more plentiful, or more efficient than nuclear. windmills and solar panels have their uses, but they will never be sufficient in reducing our reliance on fossil fuels if they're the only energy infrastructure we invest in at scale. and electric vehicles? oh man. the EV push as it stands is set up to be a grand historic embarrassment of catastrophic proportions. let's be good capitalists and set aside the rampant human rights violations and immense environmental impacts of rare-earth mining. the emissions from having to put down fresh asphalt more frequently due to the increased average weight of electric vehicles wearing roads down faster alone will outweigh virtually every gain from an electrified vehicle fleet, if electrifying the fleet is the only transportation infrastructure we invest in at scale.

there is simply no path forward to liberating the world from its reliance on fossil fuels that does not involve massive investment into building nuclear power plants and reducing our reliance on individual vehicles by exponentially expanding the reach of mass public transit. anything less than that is a laughable half measure whose most prominent boosters are, without a doubt, paid by fossil fuel companies to always be boosting. this is why i find Kyle Hill's work so impressive and refreshing. he talks quite a lot about nuclear disasters, but goes to great lengths to highlight that the fault lies in lack of funding, lax security protocols, and greedy parties preventing proper management, and that even with these horror stories at hand, fewer people have died from accidental nuclear exposure in history than get exposed to carcinogenic discharges from fossil fuel products every day and OOPS SORRY I'M SOAPBOXING it's a good video you should watch it

"What Happened To Spoof Movies?" by Eddache.

bit of a mood shift from that last entry, thank goodness. this here is an exceedingly thorough history of the spoof movie genre that does a great job explaining why some parodies work and others really, really do not. i had no idea how much of the recent history of spoof movies comes down to failson nepotism! a good chill video to watch if you want something relatively harmless to wile away an afternoon with.

and that's it. good luck in these final weeks of 2023, be sure to mask up, get vaxxed, and make sure your friends and family get PCR tests before any big gatherings, what with covid levels being as high as they were in 2020 in many places! i'm serious, deaths have been above 1000 a week since the end of August! so take care of yourselves out there

----

ALSO: VIDREV's askbox is open! please feel free to forward any video essays that you think might be worth talking about (even if you're the one who made it!). this includes new stuff, old stuff, professional stuff, amateur stuff, anything that can be reasonably described as a video essay. no promises that i will cover anything that gets sent to me, but i will try to give everything an honest chance when i've got the time. if you have specific questions you'd like answered, please send those over to my main account as i don't intend to answer any questions here. okay, thanks!!

<- ROUNDUP #2 | ROUNDUP #4 ->

[autumnbrambleagain]

honestly miss me with any magic system that doesn't describe the qualia of what it is to use magic in that system

oh what in DnD you "study and write spells in a book" and "read the spell each morning" okay what the fuck does the spell look like. what does it feel like to cast a spell. why does it require intelligence why does it require research.

it's why in UWi academic magic (academagic) works on every spell being a literary essay on reality as fiction making some kind of point of why something should be possible and its conclusion statement is how you cast the spell. you recite the argument to the World and the World goes "hmmm, well argued, that broken teacup is now repaired again"

magic in ancient mythology was never really a metaphor for academic 6-year colleges they didn't have that until fairly recently as a concept and learning and education was always a separate track from magic which was always

emotive, innate,

in the Oldenenen Tymes a wizard didn't study 30 pages of nonsense and then they could control your mind, a person Was Magic and could control your mind

but also magic was religious rituals you performed to get a god's attention,

but also magic was folk rituals and superstitions, if you put a horseshoe on your door a fairy can't get in; if you had a stick in the right shape you could find water

modern post-tolkein wizards are so fucking BORING. oh yes i went to magic academy and learned magic so now i can do three spells; fireball, laser beam, and flying. when i level up i can arbitrarily learn bigger fireball which i can't learn right now for no explained reason.

it's why in uwi like why can't y ou cast high level spells early on? because you're starting off with high school level literary essays and then you're trying to jump into fucking Derrida. you can't do it my man you are just starting to cast spells like "id/ego/superego symbolism in lord of the flies" and you aren't jumping from that to "the author as unconscious writing machine vs. art as a lens for the viewer" in one day you gotta know what you're talking about

uwi's academagic is basically a parody of post-tolkein magic systems but also a parody of academia but also a functional system of how you can do magic through literary essays it's fun it's fine. like most of the things we do it's a deconstruction a parody a satire a commentary on things

the fucking bizarre DnD dissonance of magic being the rare thing owned only by the few who have the brain for it but also you stumble over magic potions and scrolls and weapons constantly

but gandalf mcellminster over here's level 3 and he can cast 3 magic missiles a day what the fuck does that even mean. why is all your magic ways to kill people fuck off

there's two settings we keep working on internally and one is a failed succession metasetting where the "magic" is "we are all self-aware self-narrating concepts being poorly moderated by the world consciousness; time and verisimilitude is broken and effect follows cause only by convincing argument. everything we do is magic. i forgot to give myself the need to eat and until someone presents me with sufficient symbolism to counter it i don't need food at all."

and the other is a more grounded fucked up glamtasy world where magic is "which kind of magic there's like 800 different ways you can do weird shit which weird shit can you do and how are you doing it"

the worldbuilding anyway should only be a part worldbuilding only exists best for when it's to tell stories with but the worldbuilding itself can be part of the story when it's a commentary a reference to a greater literary body and itself part of that commentary

which is also how magic works in uwi

i have a fucking masters degree and this is all it's good for anyway if you read this make sure to comment bob's gang below and like rate and subscribe and we'll see you next time on animal crossing channel

[mywitchcultblr]

About RPF and fandom is selective

Might get cancelled over this but i no longer give a fuck, the subject of debate over RPF celebrity fanfic made me realize that an overwhelming amount of discourse war this or that on fandom doesn't fucking matter and just something blown out of proportion because people like outrage/drama or riding high horse. I think i have seen a lot of people saying that all kind of RPF is disgusting and bad blah blah but NOBODY bat an eye when Hollywood is making BUTT LOADS of money from RPF all the freaking time!! Hell a lot of people even latch into RPF fandom like The Great or OFMD. Bridgeton itself can be considered as an RPF with the Queen Charlotte plot and now new spin-off show.

Also when someone say "Well those RPF are about dead people." You know that SNL parody about public figure and political satire comic is RPF too right? The Simpsons have RPF episodes about living people, hell freaking minions have Lizbeth II added to the movie when she's alive.

Yet NOBODY were having an outrage about it.

"Well the celeb consented into those movies"

House of Gucci movie literally didn't have the approval from the Gucci family who are still alive, and I doubt Alex Baldwin have the permission from Trump either to parodied him on SNL (which i think being parodied in a negative light on national tv is far more damaging to someone's reputation than whatever niche fanfic on a niche site on AO3. Btw, fyi i hate trump, not defending him here) Yet nobody are angry about these works. Dante Inferno is RPF, i have found an RPF novel written about a teenage girl who had a crush on Napoleon, it's called "Betsy and the Emperor" No one cares

Yeah RPF involving minors especially one that is sexual is bad i think we all can agree on that, that's entering freaking CSEM territory. And it's just weird to write RPF fanfic about nonpublic figure. But for RPF about celeb who are adults, people doesn't actually really know those celebs and mostly just using the name and public persona. There's an F in RPF fanfic for a reason. Also celeb fanfic on AO3 or whatever are not for mainstream consumption. It's niche, on the internet and tagged.

Also one of the holy rule of writing celeb RPF is TO NOT show the fanfic to the person like ever. Which means the public figure won't ever see them unless they deliberately went into the rabbit hole

These are RPF and making money...

Nobody gonna cancel minions over it? I get it you might feel squicks and might don't like whatever celeb RPF on AO3 but it's boggle my mind how people can be so aggressive against fandom RPF yet nobody bat an eye when Hollywood doing the same thing. Yeah i concluded... This is it. This finally 100 percent opened my eyes that fandom discourse this and that nearly all of them are just bullshit ��

Because fandom will condemned one thing but then they won't care if mainstream media doing it, then some of them even joining and celebrating the thing they claim to be bad when they like the movie/show/books 😂 things that is not a big deal suddenly become a big deal in fandom. Like whatever women should be canceled if they like yaoi *roll eyes*

I feel like the discourse came from "This are my fave celeb how dare u!" Then devolving into the whole toxic discourse or even harassment while people at the same time ignoring Hollywood doing the same.

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 10

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes. GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution. Your body in exchange for paying off your debt. Do you accept?

TRAILER:

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

FIRST CHAPTER:

ATTENTION: this chapter will be pov heeseung, so from his first-person point of view, I hope not to cause confusion ~~

I glare at him, he really betrayed himself. And quickly, too. Not that he was so good at hiding it so far.

I see him roll his eyes. "What do you want from me?"

"Dumb, you're hurt her?" I repeat his words, incredulous.

He twists his lips annoyed and looks away. "You pushed her."

"Stop it Sunghoon…." I advise him, looking tired.

"What?"

"Really?"

"Haven't you ever gotten tired?" He has the courage to answer.

"Everyone has figured it out that you're interested."

"The point is that I'm not really, I'm just having fun, but you guys take this so seriously, and it's pathetic." He laughs, trying to ridicule my position.

In fact, I'm uncomfortable. "You don't understand."

"You've been with her half a day and now you're crazy about her? What, you fuck her too? You say she's that good?"

"I just want you not to torment her, I need her sane to fuck her."

Yet Sunghoon smiles anyway. "Jay has already forgotten her, why don't you do the same? - He asks me, lifting his wrist with the watch and showing it. - It's not long before the shift ends."

"You take it for granted that I like her, why do you find it impossible for me not to like her, since you like her?"

The question comes out as a kind of riddle, I see Sunghoon holding back a laugh. He doesn't want to laugh because I struck him in honor, but at the same time, my tone and the sound of the words came out a little too funny.

"But you disparage her, you scorched earth her. You blame her because you hate the fact that she will give herself not only to you but to everyone who will allow her to survive."

"Survive? Is that a feminist slogan? You're a feminist now?" He attempts to change the subject, believing he's insulting me, perhaps, in a totally clumsy way.

"Only now?"

"I am not interested, I simply enjoy annoying her."

"You are literally an elementary school child!" I accuse him, aloud.

"She amuses me - he admits, chuckling as his gaze is perhaps lost in some specific memory. - It amuses me when she's angry."

"What if Wonyoung found out? That you amuse yourself like this."

"If you tell her, the host thing will come up…. - he tells me, with a grin, feels advantaged. - Wait, now that I think about it…don't the girls also have hosts?"

I ponder this too, but it seems unlikely, since I've often been in girls' band dorms. "I don't… know?"

"No, this is a male thing. - He concludes the question, relieved, the monkey. - Besides, Wonyoung would tell me right away."

"Like you told her about Amanda?" I imply doubt.

If he goes back to focusing on his beautiful girlfriend, maybe he will get tired of playing with Amanda. 

Stop asking me: the reason is obvious, if he keeps harassing her she will leave on her own, since I want to have fun, it's not good for me.

Come to think of it though, if she stopped being a host, she would just be a beautiful girl, wouldn't she? Would she go back to being a fan of mine? Just mine? No, she wasn't mine from the beginning.

"Heeseung, you can have better than her." He changes the subject, after several seconds.

I smile nervously. "What?"

"Why do you worry so much? I thought at least you didn't bust."

"She's pretty, isn't she? - I ask, knowing he wouldn't answer, so I smile. - It's just about that, let me enjoy in peace. You don't have to torment her just because you can't…."

"Even so, shouldn't you let her go?" He dares to ask.

How can he say such things while denying that he is interested in her? He accused me of taking little time, me wanting to just and exclusively her, while he seems so obsessed with her since we got back. Even his being so interested in the fact that I had been in her hous,, why was that so upsetting to him? I could fuck her at home, too.

"Why? I don't even have to commit myself. - I explain to him, confidently. - Besides, even you must have seen some fans who wanted to fuck you, maybe even been there. But it's always a mess and they become obsessed, she's not only pretty, she was sent directly from the agency so I don't have to worry."

Sunghoon smiles but actually looks rather annoyed. "Should I do that too?"

"Risk losing Wonyoung?"

Although I have reasons to believe that he won't give in to temptation anyway, I can't be so sure. Honestly, I can beat everyone else, but Sunghoon is a little too ethereal. She, who has always preferred me, as she indirectly admitted, was completely thunderstruck by Sunghoon, it is obvious.

Of Jay she will soon forget, I am sure, but of Sunghoon? By continuing to be on her like this they will end up becoming friends, even close.

"You worry a lot about my relationship." He says, getting serious.

I smile automatically, there goes the real Sunghoon again. "When you're alone you have a lot of time and observe a lot of things."

"Oh yeah, and what have you noticed?"

"That you are really lucky. I can have better, but you really have it. What are you still doing here, with me?"

"I was waiting for the moment when you told me not to go near Amanda again, in a threatening way. Did I say right? Is that going to happen? Maybeo that comes in the next chapters."

I have to laugh, I admit. "We are not good for this situation."

He sneers. "I noticed."

Eventually the discussion dies there and we return to the living room, where Amanda sits next to Ester but also Yeonjun, who is showing the girls some photos taken on a trip. Jay keeps an eye on them but stays in his seat while Niki and Beomgyu, who are exchanging strange looks, order food.

Soobin got the good booze and talks to Taehyun about it, not sure how he knew where were, meanwhile they rang. Why doesn't anyone carry their keys in this house?

I go to open it, it's Sunoo.

Instinctively I change direction, letting him in. He smiles, as always.

He makes me think of strange periods in my growing up, so sometimes, spontaneously, I avoid him.

"Omo, you are all here but.. Kai sumbae is not here?"

"He was busy." Taehyun says, laughing.

"He has the private personal trainer." He clarifies doubts Jungwon, who knows him well, after entering and taking off his shoes.

"Omo…but you are beautiful! - Says Sunoo, pointing at Amanda. - And so are you! But who are you?" He asks Ester.

Jungwon is also quite confused by the vision, still staring at Amanda as if he cannot believe she was hiding all that under the sloppy clothes she always wears.

"Didn't you read on group? - Jungwon asks, approaching the two girls. - Nice to meet you all!" - He laughs, with his sly grin.

Amanda smiles, I guess she finds him adorable, not knowing him. "This is Ester, my best friend."

"You have such a young friend?"

"Actually I'm older than her." She admits, incredulous in front of the other two band members. That must be really nice for a fan.

"What?" - Jungwon replies, turning toward our personal host, then squaring her not-so-subtly: breasts, hips, skirt cleavage. Trivial. - And you are?" He asks, lifting his gaze.

"You're a rascal, huh? You always gave me that idea." Ester comments, suddenly much less shy.

Sunoo waves to her, and is probably the person who best fits the standards of a partner for korean male genre, in this room. Yes, I'm mean, but I have my reasons.

"Beautiful people always go in pairs, huh?" Sunoo asks.

Amanda smiles at him naturally, you can tell, she is not flustered like with me. With me she feels uncomfortable, but how the fuck is that possible? I'm pure easy-going. I'm a good guy, I don't understand.

"How did you two meet?" Yeonjun asks, after a while, as everyone takes a seat and orders in turn.

"We faced the same high school, then we drifted apart…." Begins the story Ester, who might have preferred to omit this part.

"Then my boyfriend fuck his cousin and I had no one - Amanda smiles, in the tomb-like silence that has fallen. - She snatched me up like a stray dog and I'm really grateful."

Ester is struck by her words, to the point that her eyes glaze over. "Are you dumb? What are you saying?" She seems to ask, but I don't understand why they are speaking in italian, I guess…. or was it spanish?

"Omo, how cute - Yeonjun says, amidst the primitive howls of the boys excited by seeing them so vulnerable, helpless, cute. Meanwhile, however, he pushes himself on Amanda, in that sort of pink micro tank top he's wearing. - But what do you mean he cheated on you with his cousin?"

Amanda, surprised by the contact, immediately looks toward Ester, then laughs nervously. "I was beginning to wonder when you were going to ask, I was getting worried." She admits.

Wait, right, her cousin!

No, it's even more serious that she was betrayed.

No, that she had no one.

Why didn't she have anyone?

"They had been dating for years. I was so confused that I didn't understand it at that time."

"You have a radar for assholes." Ester smiles wryly.

"We moved to the beach area, though, so I recovered quickly." Amanda jokes, downplaying the situation shyly.

"Oh, that's too bad." Says Soobin, more interested.

"Our sea is the best." She brags, the redhead.

"We have the sea too, but I don't know if it's better." Says Yeonjun, leaning on Amanda's shoulder but looking at Ester.

"Are you asking me to go there together?" The friend asks.

"Would you say yes?"

"Ew, hyung." Beomgyu whines.

"Disgusting." Soobin nods.

"Too close." Reminds Jay instead, who is focused as usual: good job!

Yeonjun shrugs off laughing. "You should ask her if it's okay before scolding me."

"I've already decided it's not okay."

"In fact, detach yourself." She supports the argument of her great love, Ester, hugging our host and holding in her thin arms.

"How can you talk to me like that?" He pretends to be offended, my former friend, one of many.

I sigh, drawing attention. "Jungwon, do you take karaoke?"

"Oh, it's like high school." Responds the leader laughing and starting for his room.

While the food is being ordered and Taehyun is busy distributing the glasses, three or four different speeches have already started. The odd ones, to tell the truth, are Sunghoon and me.

Even Jay has engaged in a heated discussion with Taehyun, and I'm not surprised, being the only intelligent one among them idiots. Occasionally Sunghoon and I look at each other, but then we quickly look away.

When Jungwon comes back, with the karaoke machine, they all really cheer like kids, looking like they're really having fun.

As Sunghoon helps him mount it in the flat TV, I start to feel the alcohol fumes cloud me. Always too busy with work, I can hardly even engage in this kind of leisure, plus alcohol has too many calories…. if I have to choose it will be ramen.

"Who's first?"

"Me - Jay offers, getting up. - I'll go."

"Omo! Are you really going to sing?" Ester asks, while Amanda also looks at the same boy.

"What do you want me to sing?"

The friend turns to our host, noticing her absorbed gaze on Jay, I can see her smiling in confusion and embarrassment. "What do you recommend?"

Amanda returns the nervous smile. "Brought the heat back?"

"Wait, do we sing our own songs?" Sunoo asks.

"Since them are here, we could show them a good time." Says Soobin, though his tone sounds rather malicious.

"Why this one?" Jay asks.

"Your voice is very beautiful, it's perfect for the song. You make incredible notes and you sing more." She replies, like any fan, but she's actually right.

Jay is crazy in that song, he has more space, it is really remarkable how he can use his voice, although he does not profess to be a singing talent, too modest as always.

She was able to surprise him, perhaps excite him, this little b… ok, stop it. Jay feels the same way, which is why he looks at her in confusion, looking away shortly after, annoyed but, knowing him, also embarrassed.

I guess if she said something like that to me I'd have a heartbeat, like today in her apartment…. And not only that.

Why am I always horny?

"Okay, and that's fine."

"Woo! - Shouts Beomgyu, raising his fist in cheers. - Go Jay oppa!"

Yeonjun mumbles, looking exhausted. "And what am I supposed to sing?"

"Good boy gone bad!" Ester immediately responds.

Amanda nods. "Yes, please! The rap part!"

The two start squawking, eventually annoying everyone except Yeonjun, clearly.

"In live he doesn't sing it well." Beomgyu teases him.

"You just sound envious to me!" Ester replies, confidentially.

He offended looks at her. "How?"

But isn't he the one who was interested in her, with that petite, slender, pale pink body of hers, in that little black micro dress that highlights her prosperous breasts?

I like Ester, honestly I would like to fuck her, however, I still prefer Amanda's smaller breasts, her harmonious proportions, her more shapely and trained body, squeezed into that other micro dress of an innocent lilac, but only that of innocent. It sticks to her, and no need to imagine what she's hiding, it tickles my taste buds to the point of watering every time I look at her.

Anything from the way she looks to the way she moves her lips to speak is erotic. Perhaps what makes it erotic is her inferior position, come to think of it, because it makes me want to possess her, in every way.

"You steal my thunder, hyung." Jay says theatrically, putting on a big voice.

Taehyun bursts out laughing. "He's right, you're always so intrusive."

"I was just inquiring." Yeonjun justifies himself.

First Jongseong sings, the girls sing in chorus with him while we in the band just mime, involved. When Yeonjun performs his number, like a trained animal, during the part of his rap the two start screaming like rabid fans, holding hands.

After him sings Taehyun, one of their best songs, We lost the summer, this makes them dream, it is obvious. They are attending their own private concert.

In fact, although not exploited properly, Yeonjun has the talent to be a very good rapper, and it's obvious that it bothers me, because among the five thousand things I can do perfectly, this doesn't fit in.

I tried very little, I didn't experiment enough, maybe precisely because I thought I might fail. I've been told I'm good, but I don't really believe it.

"Omo. You are really outstanding in live."

"There are fans who shell out millions of won to see us in concert, but you have never been there?" Soobin asks curiously.

Ester glares at him. "I've been to all of you concerts since I moved here."

"How about you?" He turns to Amanda.

"I really…. - starts to say, shyly-I've only been to see Enhypen. Once."

I hold back an expression of sheer enjoyment but still look at Yeonjun, wanting to enjoy the reaction of his wounded pride, he doesn't seem too surprised though, instead tapering his gaze focused on her, did he intend it as a challenge? I certainly hope not.

"At what stage?" Jungwon asks.

"The one in Seoul, the last one."

"Were you already working for Hybe? You could have asked them. Staff tickets are discounted." Sunoo explains.

"It means we will have to invite you two to our next tour. You might even leave with us." Yeonjun replies.

But what does he say?

Amanda looks at him surprised, not knowing what to say.

"Excuseme, what?" Sunghoon asks.

"We could ask for new hosts, maybe to accompany us during the concerts. In fact, they are very stressful."

Amanda is embarrassed, I can see it, my heart clenching to see her so distressed. She certainly didn't want the matter to come out again, this time in front of Sunoo and Jungwon.

"Too bad Amanda is already our host." Jungwon replies, with the confidence of a leader. Even if he uses his power little.

Yeonjun puts his arm on Amanda's shoulder, drawing her closer. "Contracts expire. When does yours?"

"There is no date." She answers, surprising us.

We stay staring at her pretty much all of us, even her friend, who strangely did not ask her such an obvious question. Neither did any of us, it seems.

"What?" I ask, surprised.

"They said they would let me know."

"You signed without knowing when you would be finished?" Yeonjun also asks, confused but also annoyed.

"What was your host doing earlier?" Amanda asks, bluntly, without turning around.

"She was a model, and she got into a scandal right away, and they cancelled her."

"Did she owe money to Hybe?"

"What?- Answers Soobin, surprised. - No, no."

"You owed money to Hybe?" Repeats Yeonjun, equally bewildered.

"Whose turn is it now to sing?" He diverts Jay's attention.

"Sunoo, you go." Says Jungwon, understanding Jay's strategy.

The boy who was quietly drinking his cocktail is practically forced to get up. "Yah! Are you animals?"

"Just sing, hyung." Snorts Niki.

Clearly, dirty laundry need to be washed at home, and we still have much to discuss. They are certainly not the ones who need to know these things; it is not with them that she should open up. She seems to understand this and lowers her face like a scolded little girl. How cute?

Sunoo starts singing, they listen to him dreamily, and I have to admit that his timbre, his voice, his skills, are outstanding overall. He gives 100 percent at karaoke as much as at a concert, and this, undoubtedly, makes him a great performer.

The evening, from this moment on, goes on more and more cheerfully. We are increasingly full of alcohol, we smoke, eventually even Sunghoon relaxes slightly, although he always keeps his distance from TXT.

We dine with korean meals, Taehyun takes the opportunity to explain some of our culture at the table, and they seem really interested. In fact, it might be helpful if they want to marry a korean.

I'm not sure what their culture is in this regard, but korean men often demand that the woman take care of and cook for her husband, especially if he is the only one working - at least that's what they taught me - although, judging from Amanda's resume, not many korean will want to marry her.

Intuiting Ester's personality as well, I could say the same about her.

In any case, Amanda has said she will leave Korea. In another place, she could continue to live normally, but at this point even if the seven of us kept our mouths shut, some of them others will tell around. I wouldn't be surprised if it's Yeonjun.

It's not that I'm sad about it, that's clear, but it would have been fun to see her out, if only as a pastime. Maybe friends with benefits. Honestly even to be kind, we live too different lives, we belong to different worlds, too different.

I do feel a little sorry for her, though. If Hybe really set her up, she will no longer have the choice of her life, to stay in Korea, should she so desire. And if marrying a korean man was her dream, as I imagine it is for many foreign young silly girls, because after all, a bit silly girl she is, shouldn't she be able to decide for herself?

As I walk out of the bathroom, passing through the kitchen where Beomgyu, Niki, Yeonjun and Sunghoon are, I notice that in the balcony, Jay and Jungwon stand secluded whispering. It seems to be an intimate conversation and I usually let it go, but right now I'm really curious about what they are saying to each other.

I get a drink, the balcony door is very close to the refrigerator but I still can't tell, plus I don't want to stare at them too directly.

I approach sipping my cocktail I see Jay holding the e-cig in his hands. Lately he had stopped using it, who knows why to pick it up just today.

"We can continue to play it cool." Jungwon says, under his breath.

Jay sighs in frustration. "We need to find out more about their host."

"I don't think they'll give us any trouble that way - the leader replies seriously, looking at his friend - being in the same situation, it wouldn't make sense to expose something like that to the media."

"I don't think they're going to sabotage us with the press - Jay explains, and I approach with confidence, because I know I can participate in this conversation. - Our host is really pretty, isn't she? You saw her tonight Amanda."

"I'm still shaken." Jungwon adds, amused, alluding.

I twist my lips, annoyed that the discussion has come to this point. "And what do you think they might do?"

"Our contract has just started, they might override us. Even if it was just to annoy Heeseung, Yeonjun would be able to take it." Jay makes sure he is not being watched by him as he whispers.

"He doesn't have that much power." I respond in a rush, a little too much, I guess.

Jungwon smiles, I find it rather creepy. "We can't know."

"Would she go so far as to disturb Hybe just to annoy me?"

"Amanda is fresher than their host, I gather." Says Jay, lucid as usual.

"Haven't you dirtied her enough already?" Jungwon asks, laughing, as the oldest among them stiffens a bit, perhaps uncomfortable with the question.

"It's not funny." He replies. Yeah, I think so, too.

"You need to tell me more about what you did - Jungwon sighs, leaning against the railing - but regardless, it will be enough if they never meet again, right?"

"You are the one who is a great friend of theirs. You should know them, what are they going to do?" I ask annoyed.

"Weren't you friends with Yeonjun? - He reminds me of the leader, annoyed by my tone despite being three years younger than me. - And they won't do anything in my opinion anyway. The situation with Amanda, it won't last."

At least ten seconds of silence after his words. We are the ones left without, looking at him.

"Why are you staring at me? Isn't it obvious?"

Jay tightens his lips, looking away; I am quite confused. Based on what does he say this? I don't want to sound naive, so I say nothing.

"It's funny, I admit - Jungwon chuckles - considering who he hangs out with, but you see it too, don't you? Sunghoon is crazy about her, and he's in denial right now, so let alone what he'll do when he accepts it. That is, if he accepts it."

Jongseong crosses his arms over his chest, then snorts. "Are you sure that's what it is?"

"That's what I think, yes."

Why is the one who is speechless now only me?

Perhaps because as long as this was just my consideration, my thought, it appeared simply remediable.

Amanda is beautiful, really beautiful, but beautiful enough to drive Park Sunghoon crazy? She who was just an ordinary girl until yesterday, what is so special about her that makes him crazy?

And why did this affect me so much that it took my words away.

"There is also the matter of her friend." Jay recalls.

"Why? She is not a host."

"It's possible they might want to fuck her in the future. - He asks, and seems genuinely concerned. - They shouldn't."

"She is a normal girl, even though it may annoy you, she has every right to hang out with them if she feels like it."

"She hasn't been soiled, has she?" I ask, after I don't know how long.

Is that really the first thing I can think of to say in such a situation? They look at me in a mixture of puzzlement and amazement.

"Look at this guy." Jungwon comments, looking at me.

Jay sighs. "I won't say anything."

"Why?" He asks him.

"Because it's not entirely inexplicable."

The leader seems to understand the message between the lines and clicks his tongue in amusement. "Really? Is that what happens to you after you fuck her? It's starting to scare me."

Me sleeping with her… yes, of course I have - I would say, if asked. But why would I lie?

I just didn't like that tasteless exit. It's okay if I do these things, just me. Not Jungwon, not Jay, much less Sunghoon.

"Let's change the subject. - Sentences Jay, seriously. - Heeseung, you are better than Sunghoon." He reminds me, I know better.

"You are misunderstanding." I say stiffly.

"Anyway, maybe if you keep her quiet, Ester, she won't be seen with them." Says the leader.

Jay looks at him. "That's all we need and they send me in forever hiatus."

Jungwon bursts out laughing, holding his stomach. "You're right."

On second thought, wouldn't that be better? Yes, I'm not completely listening to the discussion, but wouldn't it be better if Amanda stopped being a host? That way, maybe her reputation is still savable? Honestly, Jongseong and Jaeyun are not the types to go around flaunting it, partly because it would be to their detriment.

When Sunghoon's shift comes, however, things may change. Not to mention that Niki will also have his shift. If she really were to sleep with everyone, there would really be no redemption.

"What are you thinking?" Jungwon asks me, curious, noticing my silence.

"Nothing, why?"

"Don't lie." Jay continues.

"Do you guys want this situation to last? - The leader asks again. - We may have another host if her inevitably leads to problems."

"Amanda will continue to be our host - Jay replies seriously. - That's not going to change."

"You can date her if she wasn't a host, right?" His friend reminds him.

I stiffen, again, he's not even wrong. "But no, she likes everyone. I'm not interested in a non-exclusive relationship."

Perhaps that is the one fundamental truth - beyond the fact that she have to do it for work, she likes them all. I'm not even in a position to judge her, after all, that's natural. However, this means that Amanda can only and only be a host.

Maybe all this time I just kept acting, thinking, like a kid.

"Let's play truth or dare." Proposes Sunoo, back with the girls and Taehyun in the kitchen, lifting a bottle of tequila.

"Alcoholic version?" Niki mumbles drunkenly, sitting partly on the floor, partly on the sofa.

"Are we on a high school night theme?" Comments Sunghoon, who strangely looks at me but then looks away.

What does he have in mind?

"Let's do it." Amanda staggers, throwing herself onto the couch as her bare legs are inches from Riki's face.

"You should go to sleep, you're lost." Jongseong tells her, twisting his lips.

"No! Let's play." She smiles, satisfied as a child.

I clear my throat, against it. "Yes, maybe we should call it a night."

"No, come on, now that was getting interesting!" Beomgyu complains, whining like a wayward child.

It's now 2 am, we have commitments tomorrow anyway, they certainly do too, to continue this evening would be pointless and tiring. Besides, tonight, it's my turn but she if she's in this condition…I just can't.

Ester hugs her friend. "Now I'm going home."

"How are you coming? - Amanda asks her, surprisingly lucid for having her eyes practically closed due to alcohol. - I'll drive for you!"

"But you don't even drive, dumb!"

"I… I can drive! - She says, with conviction but slurping. - I don't have a car but I can drive." He continues in italian, I guess, and I don't understand.

To look at them, these two are cute. As they tease and joke, as they worry about each other, it's a relationship I haven't had with anyone in a while, I guess I miss it.

"I'll take you back." Jay offers, I guess either to let her end the evening on a high note, or to fuck her (much more likely).

"I have the car, too!" Beomgyu says.

"Yes, but you're with mine now." Yeonjun reminds him.

"Can I borrow it?"

"I'll take her back, I said." Jongseong then asserts himself.

"But…I have my own." Ester replies, genuinely surprised.

"All the more reason, you can't drive."

"And how do you get back?"

"I'll call a driver." He sighs.

Ester is easily persuaded, who greets her friend by kissing and squeezing her, I imagine she is very grateful for the opportunity she is having, thanks to her. She then greets everyone rather meekly to quickly follow Jay who leads the way.

It is time to accompany the sumbae as well, finally. Yeonjun is rather reluctant but does not object probably because he knows he is busy, however, he does not miss the opportunity to greet Amanda by giving her a sensual kiss on the cheek, she remains completely petrified.

"Yah! - She turns informally, Sunghoon, glaring at him as he simply laughs it off. - Why don't you leave?"

"See you sumbae." I extend my hands toward the door gently pointing him to the exit and he, goes outside.

We say goodbye to them all and then everyone heads off to their room, guess who excepted.

Sunghoon is still looking at me, but what does he want? I don't have time.

"Go to your room, I'll come and give you something in a little while." I tell her.

She lifts my thumb, she is very cute while doing so, but I keep feeling conflicting impulses. I'm contrite, I have to keep my composure, but she doesn't make it easy: with her red cheeks, her moist, glossy full lips, her breasts so obvious no bra.

Sunghoon seems to read my mind since when I look at him, he allows himself a restrained, ironic laugh.

Amanda doesn't realize it, she simply walks off to my room, I like this feeling. But Sunghoon is still watching me, what is it, he wants to comment on the matter? Make me change my mind? I'll wait for her to recover, but I'm not giving up.

"Are you happy?" He asks, I knew it.

I smile nonchalantly. "Average, more than the fact that they're gone."

"A relief indeed - he confers, tame - anyway you say you don't care, right?"

"But who? The host?" I ask incredulously and nervously.

"That's right." He clicks his tongue, as if I got the reaction he waited.

What does he want?

"It seems the other way around, doesn't it? We could prove to each other that we are in good faith, and fuck her together."

I honestly stand stunned at such a proposal.

No, he can't be serious, he can't have thrown off the mask already.

"Didn't you say you would never sleep with her?" I ask, suddenly nervous.

"She won't know." He answers, quietly.

"What?" I am incredulous.

"We close her eyes, honestly, even if she gets it I don't care. The important thing is that she doesn't see it."

I just laugh. Me, I have nothing to prove. I won't let him get his hands on her before me.

It's just a matter of pride.

"No." I answer.

"Why?"

"Do it on your turn."

"But she would know it's me."

Why does he answer so quickly? He doesn't give me time to think, to understand.

"No."

He looks at me surprised. "Why?" He asks again.

"Why don't you ask Niki?"

"He doesn't like me."

And I do? In theory, before today, I would have said so, but why Park Sunghoon do you make it so to love you? You are a manipulator, an asshole.

"I don't care about anything - he puts his hands out, with a disinterested expression - let me be clear. But I'm showing you. I wouldn't feel like doing it with others anyway."

"With me it's not strange?"

"No, because I think you're someone who just thinks about getting laid."

He's praising me. I know he is, but why does he have this effect on me? I look away, honestly embarrassed.

"I know it's the first of your shifts, however, I didn't think you cared about these things…"

And now he belittles me, but elegantly.

I know he is trying to manipulate me.

"How do you want to stop her from seeing?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Don't run." I admonish him.

But why don't I deny it?

Honestly, I shouldn't care what he thinks of me, I should just give a damn and let him think I'm crazy in love with Amanda, or not?

Equally and perhaps stronger is the desire not to appear weak. Everything I've imagined so far is nothing but pure, very silly fantasies.

Hanging out with her? How could I.

"I have a night mask." H explains.

I sigh. "No, it's weird. Besides, you saw her, nothing's going to happen tonight."

"She'll be fine." He tells me confidently.

His eyes burn with desire at this moment and I feel great annoyance, but also great fear. He cannot, must not think that I care about Amanda, because that would make me weak, ridiculous.

"There's no point in you wanting to do that, she would know right away that it's you."

"The important thing is that she doesn't see me." He repeats, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

It is obvious, he wants to continue playing with her, and he wants to do it more seriously. If I allow him to do so, I'll go along with his game clearly, but if I don't -- I'll be weak.

"Of course, if you say no, though, I will let it go. Maybe I was wrong about you." He sighs falsely sorry.

I twist my lips, annoyed. "I don't like the idea of you being there."

"You said you wouldn't do anything, given her condition."

"Even if we did, it would be strange. No?"

He smirks. "No problem, hyung. It's fine with me."

Yes, I get it, it's just not so fine with me. It's our first night together, after all, I already had my own idea of what was going to happen, I don't know if I want to give it up.

"What about Wonyoung?" I ask then.

Sunghoon tightens his lips. "It's not going to come out, right?"

"What if hypothetically Amanda could get to her?"

"She couldn't say she's seen me anyway. She's a fan… And then realistically.. how could she get to her?"

I am stunned. No, it can't go his way but I'm not doing anything concrete to prevent it. He is younger than I am but I fear his contempt so much? What is happening to me?

"Hyung, it's a game. You know too that she… is only for this…"

"Don't say that." I look at him badly, really badly.

Sunghoon smiles. "Don't get me wrong, it's just that… if she's here, why don't we just have fun? Leave the matters of the heart to Jongseong and Jaeyun. We… are different, aren't we?"

NEXT CHAPTER:

[talesofmetalandmagic]

"A waste of time"

Azir was called that many times, during his life. Despite being a lover of studies he was never meant for wisdom, and Nasus himself welcomed his presence at the libraries more for a passion project than for any future as a scholar.

He was fast and passionate and always curious, but putting things in the correct order escaped him. Again, like the little girl from Fantasia 2000.

See, some people (= boomers, like Their Imperial Majesties) are of the idea that people shouldn't do things because they like them. They should strive to be the best, put their life on the line for them, and damn any expectation that's not perfectly fulfilled.

Xerath was always comforting Azir because it was his duty, and because at that time he truly believed there was a level of care from the little prince towards him. But when it came to this department, it was also healing for himself. He too, coming from his own background, needed to heal from being seen as a thing, and finding purpose in leisure and passion just like... well, just like anyone.

They'd spend clandestine nights reading in Azir's bed – Xerath would sleep in a cot right next to it, as he also served as a bodyguard and sometimes even a body double decoy – stuffing their faces with dates and candy, and he always made a point to tell Azir he was good, he was not wasting his time, all that mattered is that he was doing his best.

~ ~ ~

Now that Xerath wields the reins of power, the lesson he imparts upon Azir is quite different. Azir must serve, so he may live. If Azir doesn't fulfill his purpose he can only thank Xerath's infinite kindness for being alive, wasting everybody's resources with his abject idiocy.

Azir, being an Emperor, has never built a temple before. He tries his best, following the simple instructions that Xerath gives him and focusing more on losing his thoughts in the task tham on anything that may hurt him.

Seeing the temple rise is a glimmer of hope for the captive Emperor – the taller it gets, the more content Xerath will be, the sooner he'll be let go. Sivir will be so glad to see him again... and Nasus, poor dear, he'll be screaming his name into the dunes already. He cannot make them wait, they need him and he needs them. Imperial synergy.

"Azir."

Xerath has manifested himself right behind him, like a wisp, or like he's gone off to imitate Fiddlesticks to taste even more power.

"Does this look like a temple, to you?"

"I think so, my lord."

"The fact that you think it looks good shows that it, in fact..."

Go away, stay back... Azir raises his hands in a bird-like parody of a boxer's stance. He's never even learned how to boxe, and he knows all too well it wouldn't work on a mage as powerful as Xerath, but it's the best he can do in his situation.

"...it does NOT..."

No, Xerath, don't you dare do this to me. He can agree that the columns aren't the same width, or that some stones do in fact protrude from them... and even that the last he built looks crucially diagonal compared to the others. But Xerath cannot expect an emperor to know how to build with stone. They did not teach him that. It's not what he is.

"...even RESEMBLE good, Azir."

"I apologize." He knows the formula: bows his head, offers his hands for the caning. "I'm a stupid fool, I'm a..." He wishes to bite Xerath when he forces him to say it. "I'm a waste of time. I accept any punishment, my lord"

"Indeed you are, Azir. You're a waste of time, a waste of space, a waste of breath. Imagine, once you called yourself an Emperor."

Because I am the emperor. "But punishing you wouldn't work. Your poor parents tried punishing you all your life, yet your immense imbecility proved itself a foe too strong. What we do, to pieces who don't work... is put them to use. I've learned this way before other things I would have preferred."

Xerath has a strange spell towards Azir. He hates him, he hates him so much he could brawl him for as thousand years like poor Renekton did, he would spit on all his portraits and stamp upon his grave... but when he brings up his own pain, a pain that doesn't even exist as a figment of imagination inside the imperial walls, whatever sliver of tenderness remains within the ex Emperor's heart seems to quiver at instinct.

If we could just... just talk. If I could understand...

"So, Azir." One of his underlings climbs atop the stairs of the cave, holding onto a standard wooden pick. "Now you will tear them all down"

"...what?"

He falls back down on earth, numb, hazed, and Xerath looks as if he's about to explode. "This idiot... I gave you an order. Take this pick and tear every single one of these columns down. May nothing but dust be left when you're done."

"My lord, no." How much time will it take... months, maybe years. Azir feels dizzy just as the thought. Sivir is not an Ascended, she'll grow old like everybody else, and she may never find out he's there – waiting, hoping, staining the good name of Omah with every new day in ruins.

"You speak back to me, Azir? Yet again"

He stretches his back, facing him head on. "It may take eons, my lord. And I cannot..."

Xerath slaps him in the face, but he was ready to take it. He knows now Xerath's finest blades are those of the mind. And for those he braces, as his tormentor speaks again.

"Eons... you dramatic simpleton, I loathe you so much. But even if it was eons, we have all the time in the world, and eons would in fact be barely enough for you to pay for what you did. Now go to work, and spare me your squawking: tonight, for your insolence, you won't receive your supper and you'll be caned ten times on each palm. Goodbye for now, Azir: you endless, unrepentant waste of time."

And like a nightmare, he's gone in a flash.

With tears of frustration in his eyes, his back feeling as if it could break, beak already full of dust, craving nothing more than to be put back in his cage and hood so he can reflect upon his situation and find some sense in the paradoxes of pain that pursue him, Azir chops ahead. Dust falls onto his tattered feathers, sticking to his sweaty skin, and is so coarse to the taste he cannot even speak.

[twistedroseytoesy]

I've got it! How bout this:

Trey: Birthday by Katy Perry

Ruggie: Here comes trouble by Neoni or Bills by Lunchmoney Lewis

Jack: Live Forever by Hollywood Undead

Azul: Who's laughing now? by Ava Max or For your entertainment by Adam Lambert

Jade- Blackout by Aviva or The Show by Jake Daniels

Rook- Ghost by Confetti

Epel- Reckless Tongue by Airways or Bad Reputation by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

Idia- Anxiety by blackbear

Sebek- High Hopes by Panic At The Disco

I hope these fit!

Hello again! glad to see you back with even more songs to pick from! If it's alright ima call you 🎵 anon! now onto the songs!

Trey- Fun song! could definitely see this as a birthday song that the Mc could sing to him, again not the biggest fan of the innuendos in the song but I can easily adjust them to be more wholesome! good choice! might try and write that closer to his birthday though, oh well.

Ruggie- Such an interesting song! As I listened to it I could envision this song as Ruggie is overblotting. when I first read the second book I thought h was going to overblot from how magic he used to cause the stampede, and he was pretty upset that Leona was just giving up after all his hard work. Maybe an alternate universe where he overblots rather than Leona. Amazing choice and great ruggie vibes!

Also, the second song is very fun and also fitting, but I loved the first one so much that I immediately set up a draft for that... Both are wonderful though!

Jack- Cool rock song! I can see it fitting a specific asset of him, but the Jack we see is fairly chill and cold, but soft to those he has respect for. Also a tsundere. A good song, but not quite how I envision him but its pretty close.

went searching myself for some songs that would fit jack and looked up a bunch of montage songs. found one I liked; John Cafferty - Hearts On Fire. Thought it was pretty fitting with his strong moral compass and burning passion.

Azul- YES! this is wonderful! good song! shows how he worked hard to overcome those that mocked and hurt him before. I'm loving the song. I can see some sort of dream sequence where Azul sings this cause he's proud of how far he has come. Despite still struggling at times, he's brought justice to his bullies. Might write an animatic as he watches his bullys suffer. Heck yes!

The second song doesn't fit azul that well, too many innuendos and such demanding lyrics... nice try.

Jade- Somewhat unsettling song, definitely fits his mysterious and scary side, but it just doesn't hit quite right. I don't know how I could change it either to fit better. It's so close just missing something.

Now the second song is perfect, I would need to change quite a few of the lyrics to fit him better, but the mysterious but knowing lyrics and deep beat in the background are perfect for him! Don't know if I could write this as a story, might just end up as a simple parody. Great choice!

Rook- Wonderful song choice! love the hints to how hes hard to find and how he can seemingly appear out of nowhere. Could write an animatic-style song with him appearing and watching from afar. nice job!

Epel- Some of the lyrics fit him and his intense hatred for certain topics. Somewhat fitting but I don't really feel the vibes from the sing itself, I could make it work but I'll look at the other song first.

Oh MY GOSH, that second song is so perfect for Epel! how he hates the way Vil tries to reform him, how likes his country accent and lifestyle. Can definitely write a thing where he's screaming this, might get in trouble with Vil and Rook later but he doesn't care at that moment. HECK YA!

Idia- Hate to say that this song is perfect for his insecure and introverted personality but that's exactly what I'm saying. Could write this when he and the prefect are friends, or could just make it so he's just anxious about all kinds of stuff. OR a better idea is that he's singing to ortho, he can't live without ortho. perfect fit.

Sebek- Amazing song, no idea that it was by panic at the disco! but not really fitting for the Sebek I know, then again I don't really know him other than he's loud and obsesses loves malleus. Too upbeat of a song but loving the idea.

[nellie-elizabeth]

What We Do in the Shadows: Go Flip Yourself (4x08)

I mean... absolutely hilarious in every way.

Cons:

This episode was relatively light on Guillermo, and I kind of missed having the Guide around, but honestly I don't have much I can really complain about! Oh, I guess even though Young Colin Robinson isn't my favorite part of the show, it was a little odd that he wasn't around for this, considering that it seems like the kind of boring show he'd be into as much as Lazlo. No acknowledgment that he also lives in the house was kind of odd!

Pros:

I just... I don't even really know how to articulate the cleverness of how this episode was framed and scripted and edited. It immediately sent me back in time to being a kid and watching shows on TLC, remember TLC? My favorite was Clean Sweep. Obviously now all this kind of thing is on HGTV which I don't really watch much of, but I still recognize the trappings of the genre. The editing, the logos, the way they'd show a misleading preview clip from the next scene after the commercial break, the intro song with the attempt at being bad-ass, played over clips of comically small renovations and stock footage of demolitions, the style of the interview, the moment of decision where we cut back to earlier moments of the characters considering their changes, the big "reveal" and how obviously disappointed they all were, the post-credits scene they all film for the purpose of getting like $1,200... I could go on and on. It all felt like a spot-on parody of something I wouldn't have even said I knew much about to begin with.

And then we get our plot twist, that Bran is actually Simon the Devious, who has created the entirety of this TV show, gotten Lazlo hooked on it, all to gain access to their home in Staten Island and steal back the cursed hat. I'll admit that the final scene where all this is revealed was a little less funny to me than all the parody stuff that came before, but I also think it's what will make the episode stick in my head later, and cement itself as a hilarious half hour. The sheer lunacy of the plan really shines through when you remember that the hat these two have been fighting over is in fact cursed and makes everything immeasurably worse for whoever has it. Simon immediately flies into a wall in bat-form once he has it. I feel like Simon's whole plan really speaks to the nature of vampirism in this world, the way you have infinite time to make some truly weird decisions and just run with them for as long as you need to. The gag where he lists all of his crew, the various vampires we've met in the past, really worked for me, as did Simon's continued disdain for Staten Island.

As far as our core cast, I love how even when the episode is focusing on this larger meta gag, we still get to see our favorites playing out their familiar roles. Guillermo is attempting to be devious and get something that he wants out of the bargain, once it's clear the vampires won't be saying no to the renovation, but in typical sad sack fashion he doesn't actually get the renovated room of his dreams. Nadja gets over-excited and acts impulsively, actually killing the co-star of the show before things get started, and has to use her hypnotist powers to clear things up for the crew and the viewers at home.

Marwa gets a prize for being the smartest: since she now likes whatever Nandor likes, she is really excited about Nandor's new wish for a "man cave," which Nandor definitely thinks is a place where he gets to hang out and get fucked by his guy friends, which is hilarious and perfect... anyway, she gets the "man cave" all set up and then locks herself alone in there, because since Nandor wants time alone in this room, so does Marwa. Honestly, that wish is the gift that keeps on giving. What you've basically got now is a setup where Marwa and Nandor have the exact same desires, but Marwa is just... much smarter than Nandor, and therefore is going to get her way more and more as time goes by. Genius! I love it!

As is always the case when I'm trying to write about this show, I really could go on and on in praise of its comedy, but describing jokes is never as funny as experiencing them yourself. So I'll just leave by saying my favorite gags were: Vampire Elvis, always a classic, and Lazlo's delivery of the words "New York Citayyyyy."

Can't wait to meet Guillermo's special friend next week!

9/10